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“I know that feeling. You have to do something. You have to change
something radically, because you can’t stay like you are for another second, or you’re going to explode.” —Jennifer Echols
“This is happening, your contract is signed,” Christen whispers to herself as she carries a pile of Nike leggings from her walk in closet to set down in front of the array of suitcases lining her bedroom floor. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone and boy am I uncomfortable—“ she shuffles back into her closet grabbing a pile of sweatshirts, “you can do this Christen, you are doing this.”
Christen plops down in front of a suitcase, just slightly overwhelmed. “New country, new club, new teammates, new me.” It’s become somewhat of a mantra to Christen as she takes a deep, steadying breath before tackling the pile of sweatshirts.
She’s half a suitcase in when she comes across the cardinal red of one of her Stanford sweaters and her fingers grip in tight because even after all the time that’s passed all that Christen can remember with a visceral clarity is the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach before taking the pitch every single game. The sound of that voice inside her head—the one that always sounded so eerily like herself— making sure that she knew she hadn’t practiced hard enough, that she hadn’t
trained long enough, that she’d
never be good enough.
It takes a minute for it to pass— for Christen to clear her head and put space between her present self and the person she used to be— and to toss the sweater back towards her closet and decide with complete certainty that she’s not bringing that with her to Sweden.
She’s leaving space.
There’s a light knock on her door and Christen doesn’t even look up from her clothing just mutters a low, “come in.”
“Chris?”
Christen’s slow to lift her head, eyes blinking rapidly as they make their way up to meet the curious stare of her younger sister, who’s hovering in the doorway.
Channing’s eyes are roving her face and Christen tilts her head to the side, slow smile tugging at her lips, “do you like it?”
Channing’s nodding her head as she walks towards the bed, her fingers quickly stroking through Christen’s now much shorter hair, before she flings herself onto the bed, “it looks good, but are you sure?”
“Well, I already cut it Chan, so yeah, I’m pretty sure.” Christen quips, feigning ignorance as she continues to pack up her suitcases.
“Not your hair Chris, Sweden.”
Christen gives her a slight shrug, eyes glued to the floor, “I’m scared Channing—“ her fingers run through her hair, that now just barely grazes her shoulders, before she looks up, “this-this isn’t— this was never the plan.”
“Maybe that’s okay.”
Christen laughs weakly, “really?”
Channing shrugs, nodding her head and Christen can feel the jealousy sing through her veins at just how easy going her youngest sister is, because,
god, just for once Christen wants that.
Wants to be at peace with her choices and to be at peace with herself and not have this self doubting, stomach twisting anxiety accompany every single decision she makes.
Channing’s flopped across Christen’s bed, chin propped in the palm of her hand, “I feel like plans are there to placate the nerves, that’s their purpose because you can’t control everything—“
“I want to though...but everything— it just, it just keeps changing,” Christen murmurs as she gently places another long sleeved shirt into her suitcase, avoiding any sort of eye contact because despite her best effort she can feel the tears forming.
“Things aren’t changing Chris, it’s you. You are the change.” Channing says it like she’s so sure, “this will be good Chris. Be open.”
Christen nods her head once, “this will be good, a fresh start.”
“Yes, but, I think you’re forgetting something—“ Channing says with a laugh and when Christen looks up she can’t stop the smile stretching across her face, “or should I say someone.”
The stuffed animal; Brown bear, comes sailing through the air from Christen’s bed, where Channing is now sitting, to land squarely into the suitcase in front of Christen.
Christen snatches him off the pile of neatly folded sweaters, clutching him to her chest as she glares up at Channing, “checked luggage Chan? Really? Brown bear is most definitely a carry on traveler.”
Channing laughs, “so you want me to help you raid Tyler’s closet before she gets home?”
Christen’s pushing to her feet and grabbing Channing’s hand, “obviously!”
**********
There are tears at LAX, Christen tries her best to hold them back but as soon as her mother hugs her and whispers, “call me when you land Chris,” it feels so much more like a goodbye than anything Christen’s ever felt before and the tears stream slowly down her face as she nods her head up and down.
By JFK the snow has started falling in soft, white, flakes and the tears have long since dried leaving streaky tracks down Christen’s cheeks. The sleeves of her hoodie are still slightly damp from using them to stop the flow of her tears on the plane—she’s almost positive the suit clad man beside her thought she was utterly insane—and she can’t yet breathe through her nose without sniffling.
Heathrow puts an ocean between Christen and the life she once knew and as she shuffles into the Starbucks line, back pack slung low on her shoulders, its the very first time the distance has felt good. She sits at a small metal table and sips on her iced coffee, a small oatmeal yogurt parfait in front of her, and Christen can feel it, it’s this feeling high in her stomach—or maybe low in her heart—but she’s ready, because nothing worth having ever comes easy.
Exhaustion is all Christen can feel when her feet finally touch the ground in Gothenburg. She’s had too many bad airport coffees, and too few hours of quality sleep and a heaviness is settling in her limbs. All
she wants is a nice hot shower and to crawl into bed and sleep until her first practice—in four days.
Cold is an understatement as Christen tries to burrow deeper into her jacket in the back seat of the car, fingers fumbling with her phone. Christen’s pretty sure it’s relief she feels when she gets her mother’s answering machine because right about now—overtired and an ocean away—just the sound of her mother’s voice will make her homesick, “hi mom. I’m here. Safe and sound. Just pulled up to the house, going to shower and sleep. Miss you guys already. Tell everyone I love them. Love you. Bye.” Christen tucks the phone back into her coat pocket and cautiously makes her way out of the car to start removing her luggage and as soon as she’s removed the last bag the driver is backing out and speeding down the driveway leaving Christen cold and frustrated because there’s no way in hell she’s gonna be able to do this in one trip.
“Heads up!!”
Christen’s body automatically turns towards the sound and she regrets it immediately because a big, fat, white, snowball hits her square in the chest, exploding on impact and covering her face with tiny wet melting chunks of snow.
Christen wants to laugh it off, really wishes she could, but she’s cold and tired and been teetering on the edge of tears since her flight landed, so all she can do is furiously wipe at her dripping face with her frozen fingers.
“Tobin!?! Oh my god Tobin you hit her!” A small figure outfitted in an all black snow suit comes rushing to Christen’s side from somewhere behind the house. “God, sorry about her, I’m Meghan.”
Christen has a hard time keeping the edge out of her voice, “Christen.”
“I yelled heads up!” Tobin hollers as she emerges from behind a
parked car, sporting a bright orange jacket and a gray toque, jogging towards the pair.
Christen wants to be annoyed—actually has a few choice words lined up because who the hell has a snowball fight right on the walkway where any unsuspecting person can get caught in the cross fire—so it really throws her when Tobin slides to a stop and smiles all wide and bright directly at her and Christen feels frozen to the spot as her heart beats erratically against her rib cage like it’s trying to escape and yeah Christen’s definitely going to blame that on the jet lag.
“Sorry. My bad.” Tobin’s making a grab for one of Christen’s bags, “here let us help you?—“
“Christen.” It’s barely above a whisper but Tobin’s smile gets bigger, if that’s even possible, so Christen knows she heard her.
“Christen,” Tobin repeats her name slowly and it has Christen taking a deep breath and wondering if anyone’s ever said her name quite like that before, “let us help you, it’s the least we can do.”
“The very least you could do Tobin.” Meghan says as she grabs for the other heavy suitcase making a face as it awkwardly twists in the snow.
Tobin throws a sheepish look over her shoulder to Christen as she leads the way up to the house. It’s on the smaller side—Christen’s doubtful that three bedrooms would even fit in it let alone a bathroom and a kitchen, but it’s kind of cute and it looks like exactly the kind of change Christen needs.
“So, welcome to our cozy little home...at least for the next few months!” Meghan says with a wide grin as she practically tumbles through the front door with Christen’s suitcase hot on her heels, “Tobes snagged the big room—“ Meghan continues, shooting Tobin a death glare which has Christen smiling, “so it looks like you and I will be wall buddies.”
“Don’t worry, I’m a quiet neighbor.” Christen says as they begin stripping out of their winter gear.
“Muchly appreciated.”
Tobin’s already halfway across the living room, suitcase in tow, heading towards what Christen can only assume will be her room, “it’s kind of tiny, like the rest of the house—“ Tobin says with a crooked smile, “and I’m not totally sure of your views on ‘fully furnished’—“ Christen can’t help but smirk at the ridiculous air quotes Tobin makes as she walks into the room, “but I’d suggest putting a comforter and pillow case at the top of your shopping list.”
Christen’s nose crinkles as she takes in the hideous brownish-gold comforter that looks like something straight out of a motel, “oh gosh.”
Tobin’s smile grows big and Christen feels kind of like she might be laughing at her but it doesn’t really matter because Christen’s never seen someone smile with their whole face like that before and she definitely really likes it, “you’re welcome to join Kling and I on our Ikea trip tomorrow.”
“Our what now?” Meghan asks as she squeezes through the doorway sliding the suitcase towards the smallest closet Christen’s ever seen.
Christen looks at Tobin with her soft brown eyes all wide and blinking and then over to Meghan—or Kling, what a weird nickname—with her crinkled brow and Christen kind of gets the feeling Tobin might be doing this for her benefit and it has her cheeks feeling hot.
It takes one more second for it to click and then Meghan’s nodding her head, “oh yeah, yeah, yep, you’re definitely more than welcome to come Christen. We can even push back our departure time so you can sleep in a little right Tobes?”
“For sure.” Tobin’s fiddling with her fingers and toeing at the wheel of the suitcase.
Christen thinks it’s really sweet and she’d never turn down an invitation to go shopping, “I’d really like that actually, what time are you thinking so I can set an alarm?”
“There’s no rush just whenever we’re all up.” Tobin supplies with a lazy smile.
“Oh—“ it’s so hard for Christen, this go with the flow, lack of schedule, and every fiber in her body wants a departure time so she can make a schedule and plan out her morning, but she’s embracing the new, “sounds good just don’t let me sleep too late I’ve got to get my schedule flipped back around in time for practice.”
“Cool, sounds like a plan.” Tobin says as she follows Meghan to the door and Christen can’t help but think how very far from plan like their plans sound.
“We’ll get out of your way and let you shower and sleep, ummm the bathroom is the only other room in the house with a door so I’m sure you’ll find it.” Meghan says with a little laugh.
“Thanks for everything, well,
except the snowball to the face—“
Tobin sagely nods her head, “don’t worry Chris next time you’ll do better. Cali girls always struggle with the snow at first.”
Christen splutters, “how did—how did you know—“
Tobin and Meghan share a look—it has Christen feeling like they might be a handful together— and then they peer out towards the front door and say in complete unison “the uggs!”
Christen crosses her arms across her chest, “they’re comfy.”
Meghan laughs, “they’re not warm enough for snowball fights Christen!”
“Then I’d say they’re perfect.” Christen says with a slow smirk.
“Girl’s got jokes Kling.” Tobin says and Christen can’t help but notice the way the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles, and how maybe, that’s not something she should be noticing at all. “See ya tomorrow Chris. Oh also if you get hungry they’ll be some left over pizza so help yourself.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Tobin lingers in the doorway as Meghan makes her way out into the living room. “Sweet dreams Christen.”
“You too Tobin.” It takes a second and the sound of Tobin’s laughter for Christen to realize that Tobin did not actually say ‘nice to meet you’ and it has her cheeks flushing red, “oh god, I meant—I mean— I thought you had said nice to meet you—“
“Which it was.” Tobin’s leaned up against the doorframe now and Christen’s pretty sure she’s intent on seeing just how red Christen’s cheeks will turn.
“I just—I’m not normally, uh this bad, you know, at social interactions.”
“It’s all good Chris. It was nice to meet you and—“ Tobin leans in just a little and lowers her voice, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be having sweet dreams.”
Christen blinks slowly and before she can read too much into it Tobin’s jogging towards the couch where Meghan is setting up some kind of video game.
Christen lines up her suitcases and grabs a towel, her toothbrush, and enough body wash to scrub off twenty plus hours of traveling and makes her way to the bathroom.
The water’s hot and by the time Christen’s done she feels somewhat like a human being—one that’s definitely ready to hibernate—but she’s clean and smells nice.
Tobin and Meghan are still embroiled in some kind of race car battle and by the sounds of Tobin’s laughter she’s definitely winning.
Christen makes her way into her room, softly shutting the door behind her. She so badly wants to unpack all her stuff because the clutter is already getting to her but she’s pretty sure she won’t be able to keep her eyes open long enough.
She has just enough energy to fold up the motel style bed spread, leaving the bed in what Christen prays are clean sheets, she grabs two sweatshirts from her suitcase, a soft black one that she pulls on over her head, leaving the hood on, and the other one she throws on top of the pillow just in case.
It doesn’t take long, Christen’s asleep in less than ten minutes and it’s the first time in years she’s fallen asleep without setting an alarm and it feels freeing, like a step in the right direction.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Christen jolts awake—the distinct lack of an alarm and the uncertainty of just how long she’s been asleep has the panic setting in— there’s light streaming through the curtains that has her squinting her eyes as they try to adjust.
Everything feels unfamiliar in a way that’s throwing her off balance a little. Christen takes a deep breath as she swipes her hand under her pillow until her fingers close around her phone.
10:45a.m
Christen releases the breath in a loud whoosh, “okay, I can work with that.” There’s a string of texts lighting up her lock screen.
[channing]How are you? Skype later?
[tyler]Sit next to any hotties on the plane?
[BD]Give ‘em hell at practice Mo.
[Mom]Sorry I missed your call Chris. Let me know when you get settled we can plan our first visit! Love you.
Christen can’t help but smile at the last one because it’s just like her mother to be planning a visit before Christen’s even got her suitcases unpacked.
It takes her about fifteen minutes to respond to everyone, and as soon as she’s done she tucks her phone into the pocket of her hoodie, slowly pushing herself up and out of bed.
Christen’s about half way through some stretches—a full day of being cooped up in various planes has her aching in one too many places—when she hears it; ‘here we go one more time, everybody’s feeling fine...’
It only takes her a second to recognize the music being played in the living room and it’s got her a little confused, Christen may have just formally met her roommates—she knows of both of them, actually played against both of them in college—and neither one really strikes
her as the boy band type.
Christen
makes her way to the door and slowly cracks it open and the sight that greets her is even more perplexing than the thought of Tobin and Meghan just listening to *NSYNC.
Tobin’s sitting cross legged on the couch. She’s wearing ripped jeans and a loose t shirt and she’s got her hair pulled up in a ponytail, her eyes are wide and her lips are parted as she laughs, “damn Kling!”
Christen’s just a little taken aback by how hard it is to drag her eyes away from a laughing Tobin—feels her heart race slightly at the thought of why she’s so transfixed by it—but brushes it off and gives her head a firm shake before she steps through her doorway and pads over to the couch.
She’s
greeted by the sight of Meghan standing in the middle of the living room—nunchucks in hand—as she performs some kind of choreographed routine to the vocal stylings of Justin Timberlake.
“What the hell?” Christen mumbles as she plops down beside Tobin. The couch is small, but even still, Christen feels like she might be sitting too close—she can actually see the curve of Tobin’s eyelashes—but she doesn’t want to interrupt Meghan and honestly Tobin really doesn’t seem to mind as she turns slightly until her knee is bumping into Christen’s thigh.
“This is her fifth grade talent show performance.” Tobin says grinning from ear to ear.
“My award winning fifth grade talent show performance, thank you very much!” Kling says as she sets down her nunchucks and turns off the music.
“My bad—“ Tobin says between a chuckle as she looks at Christen, “that was pretty dope though right?”
“Yes. It was.” Christen replies and it’s impossible not to smile when Tobin’s smiling at you all wide and bright. “Sorry I slept so late.”
“No worries, we’ve got all day.” Tobin says as she makes a bee line for the nunchucks. “You gonna teach me Kling?”
Meghan catches Christen’s eyes, only for a beat, and then turns to Tobin, “hell no.”
“Why?” Tobin whines as she starts swinging the nunchucks around slowly, trying to replicate—unsuccessfully—whatever it was Meghan was doing.
“Because you’re a danger to yourself and more importantly a danger to Christen and I—“
“I am not!” Tobin quips as the nunchucks whack off her forearm.
Christen shares a smirk with Meghan as she stands, “what time did you guys want to head out?”
“Whenever you’re ready. You hungry?” Meghan asks as she swipes the nunchucks from Tobin’s grasp.
Christen’s stomach growls at the mention on food and she honestly doesn’t even remember the last time she ate, “actually yeah, I am.”
“Perfect, lunch then Ikea, so get a move on Chris!” Tobin says as she ushers Christen towards her room.
“What if I told you I am ready?” Christen said raising an eyebrow.
Tobin smiles cheekily, “Then I would bet money that you haven’t looked in a mirror.”
“What? Why?” Christen questions as she speeds into her room, skidding to a stop in front of the dresser mirror, “oh my god!”
“Meet ya in the car in ten!” Tobin hollers as she pulls on her boots and throws on a jacket.
Christen cringes as she takes in her appearance—she highly doubts ten minutes is going to rectify the situation she’s got going on—her hair, which she had fallen asleep on wet, has curled crazily around her face except the part she had slept on, which is laying flat to her head. There’s this lovely crease across her left cheek, where the drawstring of her hoodie must have been wedged all night, and she rubs at it vigorously, but with no luck.
“Darn it—“ Christen grumbles as she tosses a suitcase on her bed, grabbing some tights, a fitted sweater, a scarf to help cover her cheek, and a beanie to cover the hair.
Christen’s outside in eight minutes, standing on the porch with the door firmly shut and just now realizing she doesn’t have a key to lock it, “shoot!”
It’s a slippery walk to the car but Christen makes it without falling,
she’s smiling proudly to herself when she knocks on the passenger side window, “sorry I don’t have a key.”
“Oh yeah, my bad—“ Tobin’s hopping out of the car, leaving the door wide open, “you can have shot gun, it’s closer to the heaters.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime Chris.” It’s Tobin’s smile that hits Christen again, has something warm blooming in her chest, and Christen slips into the passenger seat as she tries to tamp down whatever that feeling is.
“So, what are you feeling?”
“What?!” Christen swings her head around—eyes wide and ice cold panic settling low in her stomach—to meet Meghan’s questioning stare.
“To eat? What are you feeling, like, sandwiches or I dunno the fine cuisine of IKEA?”
The relief is immediate, “anything honestly.”
“I think we’re gonna get along just great Christen!” Meghan says with a smile as Tobin slips into the back seat.
“Did you decide on lunch?” Tobin asks as she grips onto the headrests pulling herself forward.
“Roommate date day at IKEA. One stop shop for your dining and furnishing needs!” Meghan declares as she backs out of the parking spot and starts down the long drive way.
“Do you have the directions?” Christen asks as she adjusts her hair beneath the beanie.
“Where’s the fun in that?!” Meghan says as she pulls onto a main road.
“Famous last words.” Tobin replies solemnly from the back seat.
*
“See we made it!” Meghan gestures grandly with her hands as they settle into their chairs in the cafeteria style restaurant.
“Eventually—“ Christen mumbles as she takes a big bite of her grilled cheese.
Tobin laughs, “that’s her motto—she’ll find it, eventually.” Tobin forks a piece of pancake into her mouth, mumbling around the bite, “it’s why she’s still girlfriendless.”
Christen can’t help but laugh at the disgruntled look on Meghan’s face.
“You’re one to talk Heath—“ Meghan says pointing her fork in Tobin’s direction and Christen’s eyes follow the action. “You, my friend, are also girlfriendless.”
Tobin shrugs and Christen’s heart starts thumping against her rib cage—beating wildly like its trying to outrun something —and she’s not sure if it’s the confirmation that Tobin does, in fact, date girls, or, that she’s currently not dating one, or, the lazy way she’s smiling at Christen like she knows something that Christen’s not even fully aware of yet herself.
It shouldn’t matter at all because Christen doesn’t date girls, or, she’s never actually dated a girl, not that she’s really ever dated a guy, soccer has been her one true romance.
So, whatever it is, Christen knows she’s not ready for it yet, so she busies herself with finishing every last piece of food on her tray as she mentally makes a list of all the things she needs to buy.
“Ready?”
Christen looks up to see Tobin’s soft brown eyes peering down at her, she hadn’t even noticed that Meghan had cleared their trays away and that everyone was finished, “sorry I spaced out, I was trying to remember all the stuff I need to get.”
“No problem I’m like an expert shopper—“
“Lies. Christen, she will fill your cart with things you don’t need.”
Christen chuckles as she stands up, slowing sliding her chair back under the table, “at IKEA?”
Meghan takes a second to ponder the question, “okay you’re probably safe here.”
“Awesome!” Tobin says as she darts ahead to grab a cart.
“Good cause I really don’t like pushing a cart around.” Christen says with a laugh to Meghan as they watch Tobin jump on the back and come speeding towards them.
“Ready?”
Christen nods, “let’s shop.”
*********
One comforter, three pillows and case covers, a super soft throw blanket, a set of mason jars, a bunch of odds and ends for the kitchen, a shower caddy, and two beautifully green plants later and they’re finally back at home.
“What are we doing for dinner?” Meghan asks as she carries the last of the bags from the car in through the front door, where, from there Tobin shuttles them further into the house for Christen to organize.
“Do we have a washer and dryer?”
“Yep, but no laundry soap.” Tobin supplies as she unpacks all the jars and spoons and measuring cups.
“Oh, okay. So groceries?” Christen asks wondering what they’ve been surviving on thus far.
“Yes. Definitely. Have to do that, but, ummm can we do it tomorrow and just order pizza tonight?” Meghan asks with a raised brow. “Just cause it’s dark and we’ve been shopping all day—“
Christen’s eyes dart between the two and she concedes quickly because she’s tired and actually wants to make a physical list this time, “pizza it is—but after tonight it’s going to be clean eating, I’m talking actual vegetables because practice starts the day after tomorrow so I want to be ready.”
“Agreed. So—vegetarian?” Meghan says, phone in hand, as Tobin chuckles.
“Sounds good.” Christen looks around the kitchen quizzically, “dish soap?”
“We’re out.” Tobin says as she helps unpack the different sized jars Christen had purchased.
“Out or never had any?” Tobin’s sly smile has Christen arching an eyebrow, “seriously?”
“Wanna do a movie too? Make it a real roommate day?” Meghan asks peeking her head out of her bedroom door.
Tobin eyes Christen and normally Christen would politely decline—she’s very hard to please when it comes to movies—but there’s something about the way Tobin is casually leaned up against the counter staring at her expectantly that has her nodding along, “sounds good.”
“Mean Girls or Finding Nemo?” Meghan hollers from inside her room.
“I haven’t seen either.” Christen says with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Finding Nemo.” Tobin hollers back. “You’ll
love it,” she says to Christen with a smile.
“I don’t know, I’m notoriously hard to please when it comes to movies.” Christen replies as she continues to unpack different utensils, readying them to be washed.
“Well, I think even your refined taste of movies will enjoy Finding Nemo Christen.” Tobin replies confidently.
“We’ll see.” Christen says with a shrug.
**********
Three hours later and Christen is curled up against one end of the couch, her belly is full and her eyes are getting heavy, but she can feel something, or more aptly someone, poking her bicep.
“So was I right or was I right?”
Christen groans, “why do I get the feeling you’re a gloater?”
Tobin chuckles, “so I was right then.”
Christen pushes herself up off the couch, “I’m going to bed.” There’s a smile playing at the corner of Christen’s lips as she looks down at Tobin, “you were right,” and that half smile turns into a full smile when she sees the way Tobin victoriously pumps her fist in the air.
“Night Meghan,” Christen’s met with the soft snores coming from the other end of the couch, “night Tobin.” She turns slowly, making her way to her bedroom.
“Good night Christen. Sweet dreams.”
Christen doesn’t turn back, because honestly, she’s not sure she’s ready to feel that feeling—the one that makes her heart race and has her insides swooping—the feeling she gets every time Tobin smiles at her, “you too Tobin.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s
early and the house is still wrapped up in a peaceful quiet, except for the mechanical whir of Christen’s laptop, which she is definitely regretting putting on top of her comforter.
“How was day one?” Channing asks, her face slightly pixilated from the poor connection.
“Day one was jet lag, a snowball to the face, and a dead sleep.” Christen replies not looking up from the paper she’s scribbling down a grocery list on, so she misses the way Channing rolls her eyes.
“Ohh-Kay, how was day two? That you spent with your roommates?”
“Good.” Christen doesn’t elaborate because although she did spend the whole day with both her roommates her mind just wanders to all the moments she shared with Tobin, “can you send me the link to that vegetable stir fry? I think I’m going to make that for dinner tonight.”
“Sure, also that’s it? Just good? What are they like?” Channing asks as she dutifully sends Christen the link to the stir fry.
“They’re both really into soccer.” Christen says with a shrug of her shoulders ignoring the way her sister’s eyes practically roll to the back of her head.
“Amazing, was that tidbit hard to get them to divulge seeing as they’re both there to play professional soccer?”
“Funny, and to think Dad considers himself the family comedian.” Christen deadpans as she glares through the screen at her sister.
“Do they have names?”
“Meghan and Tobin.”
“Tobin? That’s an unusual name.”
Christen chuckles, “okay Channing...anyways it suits her.”
Channing quirks a brow and Christen’s cheeks start to warm, “and you know this based on?”
Christen’s heart thuds heavy against her chest because Tobin’s name suiting her has a something to do with the way that when she smiles, it’s with her whole face and a lot to do with the effortless way she owns the space she takes up, but Christen’s almost positive she can’t tell her sister that, “I don’t know, nothing concrete I guess, it just suits her.”
Channing furrows her brow and Christen hopes the screen dulls the flush she’s pretty sure is covering her cheeks. Thankfully
enough Channing drops it, “so big plans today?”
“Groceries and meal prep, practice starts tomorrow.” Christen’s kind of nervous about it but doesn’t want to admit it and give in to that feeling.
“At least you’ll know some people already.” Channing offers up and Christen realizes just
how well her sister can read her.
“True, some of the girls though, they’ve been playing together for years—“ Christen says as her eyes meet her sister’s through the screen, “I just hope-“
“It’ll be great and if it’s not you’ll work on it until it is Chris, you’re there to play soccer for you, you’re there to enjoy it—so enjoy it.”
Christen smiles and nods because her sister is right. There’s a soft knock on her door that draws her attention away from the computer screen, “you up Chris?”
“Yep!” Christen tries to play it cool—can feel her sister’s eyes scrutinizing her from six thousand miles away—but she knows Tobin’s going to open the door and peek her head through and have Christen’s heart beating out of rhythm.
The door squeaks a little as Tobin swings it open, she’s leaning up against the frame in a pair of well worn joggers and a hoodie with her brown hair pulled up in a sloppy bun, “so Kling is hanging out with some of the team later so is it cool if we do groceries sooner rather than later?”
“Yep.” Christen doesn’t trust herself to elaborate, knows her words will be tripping over themselves if she tries.
“Cool, so like an hour?”
“Sounds good.”
“Is that a list?” Tobin asks as she nods towards the paper in Christen’s lap.
Christen’s so extremely aware of Channing’s, basically, unblinking eyes taking in this whole interaction, “it is.”
Tobin laughs, “cool.”
“What’s so funny?” Christen asks with a furrowed brow.
“Nothing—“ Tobin’s lazy smile makes Christen doubt that very much, “need any help?”
Now it’s Christen’s turn to laugh, “grocery lists are part of your repertoire?”
“Ouch!” Tobin says dramatically clutching at her chest, “way to hit a girl where it hurts; her list making skills.”
Channing’s laugh rings through Christen’s headphones, “shut up!” Christen says staring at the computer screen.
“What?” Tobin asks a little confused by Christen’s actions.
“I was talking to my sister—“ Christen turns the laptop slightly so Tobin’s met with a waving Channing.
“Shit, sorry—“ Tobin waves back and smiles, “I didn’t know you were Skyping. I’ll get out of your hair, so see ya in an hour?”
Christen turns the laptop back towards herself, “I’ll be ready.”
Tobin nods as she quietly shuts the door and Christen’s eyes don’t come back to meet her sister’s until the door is firmly shut.
“Tobin?” Channing asks with a raised brow, “or Meghan?”
Christen just knows Channing already knows the answer, it’s why Christen’s eyes stray back down to the practically finished grocery list as she whispers, “Tobin.”
Christen’s eternally grateful when she hears Channing’s loud yawn, “I gotta get to bed Chris but you’ll have a good practice, have fun, Skype again soon?”
“Yep, night Chan. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
*********
“It’s all in Swedish!” Meghan grumbles as she places a box back onto the shelf.
“Meghan, we’re in Sweden.” Christen says trying not to laugh as she pulls the cart off to the side.
“She has a hard enough time when the labels are in English.” Tobin snickers as she spins past Christen tossing something in the cart as she goes.
“Shut it Heath!”
“What about the vegetables?”
“What about ‘em?” Meghan asks
confused as Tobin laughs at Christen’s exasperated sigh.
“There’s no reading involved so maybe you could go do the vegetables?” Christen suggests helpfully.
Tobin waves and doesn’t bother holding back her laughter
as Meghan trudges off with the list, well, the torn off part containing all the fruits and vegetables, “what are you laughing at Tobin? that means you’re helping me with the rest.”
“You’re a smart woman Christen because I am most definitely the better choice, let me see that thing,” Tobin
makes a grab for the list giving it a once over, “we got this, want me to push?” Tobin asks nodding towards the already partially filled cart.
“Please.” Christen says as she backs away from the cart so Tobin can take over.
“Here—“ Tobin says thrusting the list back in Christen’s hand, “you can cross the stuff off as we find it.”
They find everything they’re looking for surprisingly fast—Christen only thinks this because Meghan still hasn’t returned with the fruits and vegetables yet— so they make their way over to the produce section.
“Right there, the short, confused looking one!” Tobin exclaims as she launches herself and the cart in Kling’s general direction.
Christen makes her way over and snags the other half of the list back from Meghan. She starts to not only put their produce in the cart but cross it off the list as she goes, “we’re done!”
“Nice.”
It doesn’t take long for their turn at the checkout and both Meghan and Tobin head to the end so they can bag up the groceries, leaving Christen up front to load the conveyor.
It isn’t until the last few items that Christen sees them, the bright yellow packaging stark against the metal of the cart, and she knows who’s responsible, “Tobin?”
Tobin squeezes back up through the narrow checkout lane until she’s practically right up against Christen, “yeah?”
Christen’s mouth goes dry because she can feel Tobin’s body heat against her arm and see how light brown her eyes actually are and she’s pretty sure she’s not going to be able to get her words to work so she nods towards the cart until Tobin’s eyes follow.
“Did I not get enough?” Tobin asks with a smirk.
“Candy Tobin? Those things are completely made of sugar.”
“Well not completely because they have whatever the sour stuff is too.”
Christen rolls her eyes as she watches Tobin grab the bags of candy and toss them on the conveyor belt and when Tobin tries to shuffle towards her it forces Christen’s back into the side of the cart, hands wrapping around the metal behind her to steady herself, because Christen’s more than a little nervous about what exactly the press of Tobin’s body against her own would feel like.Tobin rocks forward onto her tiptoes, stopping less than a breath away from Christen’s face,
and they’re not even touching but Christen feels like she’s on fire, "what’s
the main ingredient in those two chocolate bars I saw you sneak in Chris?”
Christen huffs as Tobin rocks back onto the heels of her feet, “it’s dark chocolate, they have antioxidants!”
Tobin just laughs deeply as she shuffles back to help finish packing up the groceries and Christen’s left there more than a little flustered trying to fish
out a credit card.
***********
It’s hours later and Christen has finally finished all of her laundry, her bed is freshly made, and all of her suitcases are unpacked.
She does a few stretches—downward dog and some sun salutations—before making her way out to tackle the kitchen.
The sight of Tobin rapping along to a song Christen’s never heard, elbows deep in sudsy water has her stopping in her tracks, “Tobin?”
“I wasn’t sure what your plan was for the food but despite any claims you’ve heard from Meghan I do know how to wash dishes.”
“Thank you, that’s a huge help.” Christen says with a smile as she bumps her hip into Tobin’s on the way to the cupboard. “Is Meghan going to be here for dinner?”
“Doubt it.”
“Okay, umm, I’ll still cook enough that way we have some left overs. I’m just going to prep some breakfasts and snacks and then I’ll start dinner.”
Tobin’s toweling dry her hands as she spins around to look at Christen, “want any help?”
Christen arches a brow.
Tobin laughs holding her hands up in front of herself, “okay, want any company?”
“Sure that’d be nice.” Christen replies as she grabs the oats and the dried cranberries and the bag full of almonds and lays them out on the island.
Tobin hops up onto the empty counter space and starts swinging her feet back and forth, “what’s that for?”
“Breakfasts.” Christen says as she grabs the jars and lids and measuring cups she needs and gets to work divvying up first the oats then the nuts
then the cranberries until they’re all contained neatly in the jars, she adds coconut milk to just one jar, then tightly fastens all their lids. “Now I just have to add milk the night before I’m I’m good to go.”
“Cool.”
Christen’s at the fridge now, grabbing the bag full of carrots to peel and slice. She slices up enough for her morning snacks for the week with hummus, packing them away into their containers, while she leaves out just enough for dinner packing the rest away for dinners throughout the week.
It’s been relatively quiet, save for the occasional thump of Tobin’s foot against the cupboard and the sound of Christen’s knife against the cutting board as she dices up an array of vegetables for the stir fry.
“You look familiar.”
“What?”
“The first day we met, when you were wiping the snow off your face—“ Tobin’s crooked smile tells Christen’s she’s picturing it right now, “I thought you looked familiar.”
“We’ve met before—“ Christen says as she continues fixing up some peppers. “Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“College Station. 2009–“ Christen stops dicing and looks over to meet Tobin’s eyes. “I was playing for the cardinal—one player down—going toe to toe with the ref when they called my 89th minute equalizer offside.”
“That’s it. Shit, you played with O’Hara—you had longer hair back then.” Tobin muses quietly as her feet resume their rhythmic tapping against the cupboard doors.
Christen can’t help the laugh that falls from her mouth, “you remember my hair?”
“They called you Pretty Pressi.”
Christen’s eyebrows shoot up, “they? Who’s they?”
Tobin chuckles, “mostly just Kel. She talked about you sometimes.”
“Ahh the neurotic, stressed out, teammate that was always on the verge of tears?” Christen doesn’t exactly know why, but, this is the first time she’s talked about that game and not wanted to cry.
“Actually, best forward she’s ever played with, she kept waiting for you to get a call up.”
“Her and me both.” Christen says as she dumps the veggies into the pan to let them simmer.
“It’ll happen.”
“I’ve let it go for now.” Christen doesn’t elaborate on just how long she’s struggled with that, “I’m here to play for me. Learn whatever they’ll teach me. I just—“ Christen stops because she can feel Tobin’s eyes on her, intent and completely focused—and god it feels like a lot. “I want to have fun again. Be in love with playing.”
“Yeah, I get that.” Tobin says as she hops down off the counter to grab a drink from the fridge, “want one?” She asks holding out a can of sparkling water.
“Yes please.” Christen’s bringing some rice and water to a boil, placing the lid on once it starts to bubble, and quickly turning the dial down to simmer. “Should be ready soon.”
“It smells good. Thanks for cooking.”
Christen smiles, “thanks for keeping me company.”
“No problem.” Tobin says grabbing some plates and dividing up the veggies and rice and packing away the rest. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Depends.” Christen says as she follows Tobin into the living and sits down beside her on the floor in front of the coffee table. “What movie?”
“Oh right I forgot I’m dining with Roger Ebert—“
“Funny.”
“I’ll let you pick, what’s one of your favorites?”
Christen swallows the mouthful of rice, “Friday Night Lights.”
“Nice.” Tobin mumbles as she sets up the movie on her laptop, “I’m more of a Mighty Ducks fan—“
“Never seen it.” Tobin hangs her head in disappointment and it has Christen laughing, “put it on, we’ll watch your duck movie. I’m all about trying new things.”
“For starters it’s not a duck movie—“ Tobin says with a glare over her shoulder, “it’s a movie about an underdog hockey team.”
“Okay.” Christen says dubiously which has Tobin huffing and a color spreading across Christen’s cheeks at how appealing that sight is.
“Anyways, it’s only like the greatest sports movie of all time—“ Tobin twists a bit so she can look right at Christen, “you’re
gonna love it.”
“Where have I heard that before?”
Tobin smiles widely, “well, so far I have a 100% approval rating!”
Christen rolls her eyes, “just start the movie.”
**********
Two hours later and Tobin’s wearing—what Christen can now confirm is—her gloating smile.
“It was alright.”
“Oh my god Chris—“ Tobin says as she grabs their plates and heads to the kitchen to wash up the remaining dishes, “I totally saw you shed a tear at Charlie’s penalty shot.”
“Fine. Whatever. Your approval rating stays at one hundred percent.” Christen grumbles as she follows Tobin into the kitchen. “Are we all heading to practice together tomorrow?”
“Yep.”
“Time?” Tobin shrugs and Christen sighs, “okay I’ll be ready.” Christen knows she’ll be up to meditate so there’s no worry of the other two over sleeping.
“Cool.” Tobin says as she dries off her hands. “I’m gonna hop in the shower see ya in the a.m Chris.”
“Night Tobin.”
“Sweet dreams Christen.” Tobin says through a smile as she brushes past Christen.
The contact has Christen pressing herself back against the counter sucking in a deep breath, “you too Tobin.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s bright and early—well technically it’s dark and early because the sun hasn’t even woken up yet— but Christen’s awake and yawning as she pushes her self up into a cross legged sitting position in her bed with her throw blanket wrapped lightly around her shoulders.
Christen has always been anxious by nature, it’s the emotion she taps into the quickest, and when that reached its peak in college the realization hit and she knew she couldn’t continue that way.
Channing was the one that suggested meditation, told Christen all the ways it had benefited her mental health , so now meditation is something Christen is making a conscious effort to work into her daily life.
So far the pay off has been absolutely amazing.
Mindfulness, being present, and
achieving a calm she can carry throughout the day are Christen’s intentions today, and it’s with one last deep breath that she slowly opens her eyes ready to start the day.
The house is quiet but there’s light throughout it so Christen knows everyone’s awake which is why it really shouldn’t come as such a big surprise when she pushes through the bathroom door—without knocking because maybe growing up where she did with all the luxuries she did (her own bathroom) Christen has developed some pretty bad habits that don’t really mix well with having roommates—-and it has her practically barreling into a towel clad Tobin.
The sight shouldn’t take Christen’s breath away, shouldn’t have her heart rioting against the inside of her rib cage; but it does.
There’s really hardly anything indecent about it at all because the towel covers from just below Tobin’s clavicles to mid thigh, but it’s obviously too much for Christen’s muddled brain.
And Christen knows she needs to say something, knows just how inappropriate it’s coming across that she can’t drag her eyes away from the curve of Tobin’s neck.
Or the way she looks with her hair piled high in a messy bun.
And how just the little baby hairs at the nape of her neck and around her temples are wet and clinging to the skin.
“Morning Chris.” Tobin’s voice is low and full of amusement and Christen can’t help but think she might be enjoying this a little, like Tobin maybe has some idea of the affect she’s having on Christen.
“Sorry—“ Christen’s eyes are slow to meet Tobin’s and the way Tobin’s eyes are crinkling slightly at the corners lets Christen know for sure she’s enjoying this, “I, uh, I should have knocked, sorry I’m still getting used to having roommates.”
“It’s all good.” Tobin says with a smile.
Christen nods her head but it feels far from all good. The calm she’d cultivated mere moments earlier is effectively gone, replaced by an almost frenzied feeling rushing through her veins with every thought that keeps popping into her mind.
‘Why can’t I stop staring?’‘How can someone look
that good in just a towel?’‘I shouldn’t be noticing how good she looks in a towel.’‘Oh
my
god what if—‘
“Chris?”
Christen gives her head a firm shake trying to dislodge her runaway train of thought, “sorry, yeah?”
“Can I get through?” Tobin’s nodding towards the door that Christen has effectively been blocking and she’s trying hard not to laugh and Christen can feel her cheeks flaming and she’s pretty sure she’s never been so embarrassed in her life.
Christen steps further into the bathroom which frees up the doorway so Tobin can finally exit. “Sorry,” Christen mumbles the apology as she sets her bathroom kit up on the sink.
“No worries.” Tobin says with a nonchalance Christen is oh so envious of, “I mean I’m sure I’ll eventually even up the score, just a matter of time.” Tobin’s closing the door behind her before Christen can even respond, not that she has a response ready, because the thought of Tobin seeing her in a similar state of undress has something unfamiliar swirling low in her stomach.
Christen’s got her hands braced on the edge of the sink and it’s cold against her fingertips, helps fight the heat that’s spread its way through her entire body, she looks at her self in the mirror and just shakes her head, “what am I doing?”
************
Valhalla IP Stadium; Christen’s new home away from home....away from home, but who’s really counting.
To say her first practice is straying slightly from the intention Christen set for it this morning might be somewhat of an understatement.
The first touch that she’d honed back in California, borne of hours and hours and hours of time spent at the field, just isn’t translating here—somewhat like the directions her coach is shouting across the field to her—the snow has become her enemy (even more so now) causing the ball to slip and slide under her boot time and again.
Also what Christen thought was a genius idea of layering to stay warm is now becoming the bane of her existence. The long sleeved top, which she thought was thin enough to wear under her jersey, is now bunching around her elbows completely restricting the movements of her arms making her look kind of like an un-oiled robot.
Christen also can’t
believe that she can be sweating in some places (mostly where all her layers are literally fighting against each other to see which one can make her the most uncomfortable) and then be almost completely positive that she has frostbite in others (she started practice with ten toes and now she can’t feel any of them but she’s praying they’re still there) and honestly, how is that even possible.
There’s one drill left and Christen can’t wait to feel whatever warmth the change room has to offer, so she streaks off towards the fence with the ball, striking hard and nailing the target in the low left corner. Then the low right. Then the left again. “Okay, I’ve got this. The cold isn’t messing with me.” Christen mumbles to her self as she hammers a few more shots off.
It isn’t until she takes a breath and looks over to the bench at everyone’s smiling, no wait, at everyone’s laughing faces, “Press watch!”
Christen takes a moment and steadies the ball under her foot as she turns to watch her teammates performing the drill and it’s then that it hits her the objective of the drill was to avoid the targets set up in the lower corners, Christen mutters to herself, “bonehead move Christen, bonehead move.”
Christen wants to not be frustrated with herself as she jogs back to the bench but everything is just culminating in the worst way possible, so she just hangs her head low as they all head back into the locker room.
By the time Christen’s warmed up enough to feel her toes and eat a snack she’s not quite as sullen as before so when Tobin plops down beside her with a big smile Christen holds back the glare, “so I mean, that coulda went better.”
“Ya think?” Christen says sarcastically as she takes a bite of her carrot stick.
“I mean you were the best—“ Christen does glare this time, “at being the worst at that finishing drill so there’s definitely that.”
Christen can feel the snappiness coming back and it’s Tobin’s laid back demeanor and the way she can just make light of a situation that Christen should be able to drop and move on from but just can’t, “thanks.”
“I’m kidding.” Tobin says knocking into Christen’s shoulder with her own trying to lighten the mood, “it’s all good you know, you don’t have to stress about it.”
Christen laughs at the thought of it being that easy; just don’t stress about it, “are you kidding me right now?”
Tobin shakes her head, “you just need to relax.”
“I’ve been trying to relax for years Tobin, the yoga, the meditation—“ Christen huffs out a little disappointed in herself that it’s not working the way she wants it to.
“Maybe you need a more, uh, hands on approach.”
Christen looks up confused, “hands on? More hands on than yoga? Like what?”
Tobin can barely hold back her laughter and Kling doesn’t even bother trying as she walks by the two swatting Tobin upside the head, “leave her alone.”
“No, no, if it’s something she thinks will help I’ll definitely try it.” Christen says earnestly looking at Tobin.
“Hands on Christen—“ Tobin says waggling her eyebrows up and down, “a little self love.”
Christen’s body flushes hot and she truly hopes that the euphemism is lost somewhere in translation for her Swedish teammates but the way Olivia is trying to duck her head into her cubbie to cover her laughter leaves little hope for Christen, “Tobin.”
Tobin just shrugs, “it helps.”
What isn’t helping is the thought of Tobin knowing that, or the thought of Tobin doing that and the reaction Christen’s body is having to the thought of Tobin knowing that and the thought of Tobin doing that.
“I’m going to shower.” Christen says as she pushes herself up and grabs her stuff.
“Consider it!” Tobin shouts after her retreating back.
“She’s not wrong!” The accent is thick and Christen knows it’s Olivia.
Damn them.
********
Christen’s in bed by nine o’clock and there’s little left of her bad mood over practice but there is a lot of confusion over her reactions to all of her interactions with Tobin.
Her initial plan was going to be ignore those feelings but that’s looking like a pretty fruitless endeavor at this point.
Christen shimmies under her covers, pulling them up and over her head like a warm little cocoon, sliding her phone out from under the pillow to send her sister a text before she loses her nerve.
[christen]You’re in love with Will?
[tyler]Yes. Why?
[christen]What
does
it feel like?
[tyler]Being in love?
[christen]The falling.
[tyler]It felt scary and it felt like a lot.
[christen]Yeah?
[tyler]But in a good way, you know? Like I was nervous and my heart was always racing but I never wanted to not be around him.
[christen]How’d you know you wanted to kiss him?
[tyler]
Lol. I only thought about it like all the time and we’d probably still be tiptoeing around each other had I not just went for it. Press girls go after what they want.
[christen]
How’d you know it’d be worth the risk?
[tyler]
I didn’t. You don’t know. But you have to take a risk on someone sometime Chris.
[christen]
Yeah, I know.
[tyler]
Why so many questions?
[christen]
I’m having some feelings and I just don’t think I’m ready.
[tyler]They’re feelings Chris, just feel them. Don’t fight them. Gonna tell me who he is?
Christen’s heart sinks because she wants to tell her sister. She would love to be able to articulate the feelings she’s having for Tobin into words that could help her make sense of this whole confusing situation, and Christen takes a little comfort knowing that once she finds those words her sister will be the first person she does tell.
[christen]
I don’t think I’m ready yet.
[tyler]
Bummer.
[christen]
Thanks for the advice.
[tyler]
Anytime. Night Chris.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“You are either getting better or you’re getting worse. You never stay the same.”
Christen’s choosing to get better and she’s choosing to adapt and so she spends the next few days experimenting with clothing combinations that won’t make her an uncomfortable, chaffing, robot and strikes gold on the third day after a particularly grueling run.
She plops down on the steps of their little deck to let the crisp spring air cool her body down and to answer the texts she’s received on her run; all of which are from Channing.
[channing]
You like someone Chris?
Like, you like like them.
Why am I hearing this from Ty?
I can’t believe there’s a guy!
[christen]
Slow down. Yes I like someone. Like, I like like them. You definitely should not be hearing this from Tyler, god she’s such a gossip.
[christen]
And there’s no guy.
Christen debates the second text but she wants it out there, in the universe, she wants someone to know and she doesn’t want to ignore Channing’s question or worse lie to her.
[channing]
Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
You should tell Tyler that sooner rather than later.
[christen]
Why?
[channing]
Lol cause you’re right, she’s a gossip and guess who’s gonna be next to find out about the cute guy you met on the plane?
[christen]
Shit.
[channing]
Mom.
[christen]
Mom.
Christen closes her eyes for a beat and takes a deep breath, “it’ll be fine.”
[christen]
You told Chan?
[tyler]
She told you?
[christen]
Not exactly. But you’re the only person I talked to so I did the math.
[tyler]
Sorry.
[christen]
Promise me you won’t tell mom?
[tyler]
Christen you’re killing me. Why?
[christen]
It’s not a guy.
[tyler]
What?
[christen]
Her name’s Tobin.
[tyler]
Oh my god oh my god oh my god Christen!
[christen]
Calm down nothing has happened yet I’m just having feelings. A lot of inconvenient feelings.
[tyler]
Oh this is amazing. And we need to Skype, with Chan, and you need to tell mom so the three of us can talk about you and your feelings without you.
[christen]
You’re the worst and I love you. No gossiping.
[tyler]
Cross my heart. Love you.
Christen feels good, really good; lighter almost, as she bursts through the front door with her headphones still on and a big smile on her face as she heads straight to the fridge for some water.
“Good run?” Meghan asks as she diligently chops up some onions.
Christen pops the headphones out of her ears as she nods her head, “yeah, pretty great actually.”
“Cool, Cool, Cool, so ummm is this like a bad time to tell you we’re hosting a barbecue?” Meghan says with a sheepish look on her face.
Christen rolls her eyes and puts her empty glass in the sink, “when?”
There’s a loud knock on the door and Christen’s eyes go wide, “tentatively, right now.”
“Shit, I need to shower.” Christen says as she jets into her bedroom to grab her stuff so she can shower and look some what presentable.
“I think you look good—“ Tobin says with a smirk as she walks past Christen to answer the door. “The sweat and crazy hair really put out a carefree vibe, almost feral, but the Nike really pulls it together.”
“Ever considered a career in comedy Tobin?” Christen’s quips as she rifles through her dresser drawers.
“Be mad at Tobin, Chris! she was the one that was supposed to tell you!” Meghan tattles as she grabs some veggies from the fridge.
“Seriously!” Christen says as she rushes from her bedroom to the bathroom.
“Sorry, my bad!” Tobin hollers back to the closed bathroom door trying not to laugh at Christen’s frantic behavior.
Christen peaks her head out through the door, “I’ve heard that before!”
“And I’m sure you’ll hear it again!” Meghan says with a laugh as Christen slams the door shut. Tobin’s glaring at Meghan
but she just shrugs, “what? She will!”
*********
It’s a pretty laid back day with lots of their teammates coming and going, enjoying each other’s company, and eating some delicious food; which is surprisingly grilled to perfection by Meghan and Tobin.
Christen feels a little ridiculous about rushing around earlier this afternoon because after all, they are teammates, and they’re all going to see her a lot sweatier and a lot grosser than she was looking after her run.
The barbecue is finally winding down. There’s only a couple ladies left. Meghan is currently
sandwiched between Olivia and Cam on the couch playing some kind of video game and Tobin has herself draped across the arm of the sofa. Christen thinks it’s the perfect time to retire for the night.
It’s technically still early but Christen wants to catch up on some writing and they do have practice in the morning so it seems like the perfect opportunity.
“Night ladies.” Christen says as she walks behind the couch towards her bed room.
“Already?” Meghan asks not looking up from her game.
“Yeah, I’m just gonna do some writing—“ Christen doesn’t elaborate and tell them that after spending this much time with this many people she really craves the quiet to decompress, “maybe watch some tv.”
“Cool, night Chris.”“Night!”“Godnatt”“Night Chris, sweet dreams.”
Christen doesn’t turn around but she does stop with her fingers wrapped around the knob of her door, “you too guys.”
**********
Christen’s completely engrossed in her writing so she doesn’t even hear the gentle knock on her door or the sound of it slowly opening.
“Hey.”
Christen’s heart jumps into her throat at the sound, “damn it Tobin, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” Tobin mumbles as she fully shuts the door behind herself and shuffles into Christen’s room, “ummm would it be cool if I read in here? Meghan and Olivia and Cam are still playing video games, and my room’s too quiet.”
Now that Christen’s heart has calmed—slid back down to the safety of her chest— her eyes sweep along Tobin’s body, fully taking in her appearance, and it has her breath catching slightly in her throat.
Tobin looks so soft and Christen’s pretty sure it’s the cause of the ache in her chest and the craving in her fingertips to touch and find out.
Tobin’s barefoot with gray joggers hanging low on her hips. A white t shirt peeks out from underneath a black hoodie that’s zipped half way up. Her hair hangs loose around her shoulders— slightly damp from a recent shower— and she’s got one of the Harry Potter books clenched between her hands.
Christen’s eyes finally make it up to Tobin’s
face and notice a pair of thick rimmed black glasses perched on her nose and it has a flush settling itself high on Christen’s cheeks because, damn, is this ever a look.
“You wear glasses?”
“I do.” Tobin’s inching closer to the bed till her knees are bouncing against the side of the mattress. “Scooch over?”
Christen’s immediate response is to slide over and make room for Tobin and god that scares her—not enough to stop herself from actually moving over—but enough so that when Tobin flops down onto the bed and Christen can feel the warmth of her body next to her it sends a shiver down her spine.
“Cold?” Tobin asks as she peers at Christen through her glasses, book resting against her thighs.
All Christen can manage is to shake her head no which Tobin accepts and Christen feels something close to relief coursing through her body.
Tobin settles in quickly and starts reading her book and Christen for the life of herself can’t stop rereading the last line she typed—over and over and over again—all she can think about is Tobin looking the way she does, sitting right next to her, in her bed.
Christen can’t stop her eyes from straying to Tobin, and her heart beats erratically at the thought that if Tobin turns her head even the slightest bit she’d catch her, it’s terrifying but Christen can’t make herself look away.
She’s spent so much time over the last few days thinking about her conversation with Tyler and analyzing her feelings for Tobin.
And she definitely has them.
Christen definitely has feelings for Tobin.
“Can I have some chocolate?” Christen startles at the sound of Tobin’s voice and it has her laptop sliding off her legs to the mattress.
“What? No, I don’t have any—“
Tobin’s laughing at Christen’s blatant lie and before Christen can say anything more Tobin has set her book down and is stretching her whole body straight across Christen’s to reach for the chocolate bar on the nightstand.
Christen feels her whole world tilt on its axis and narrow down to this exact moment. They’re not touching but Tobin is invading every one of her senses.
Christen can hear the way Tobin is
breathing through her parted lips, slow and even, completely unaware of the affect she’s having on Christen.
Her hair is falling over her shoulder with the sudden motion and the smell of her
shampoo—something fresh that reminds Christen of the beach—is making Christen’s head swim.
Despite them not touching Christen can feel the heat emanating from Tobin’s body and with the way Christen’s blood is rushing through her veins it’s almost unbearable, but in a way that has her wanting to test that theory, that has her wanting to lean in closer until she can feel Tobin underneath her fingertips.
Christen’s eyes are so intently focused on Tobin’s lips, the way her tongue comes out to swipe along the bottom one that Christen copies the motion with her own and swears she can taste Tobin and that’s it, she’s made up her mind.
“I think I want to kiss you.” It’s just above a whisper and the way Tobin’s stretching across her reaching for the chocolate has the words landing hot against Tobin’s ear and the strands of her hair tickling Christen’s lips.
Tobin freezes. Doesn’t move a muscle, “what?”
“I don’t think I want to—“ Christen takes a slow breath in and lets it out, “I know I want to. I want to kiss you.”
“Right now?” Tobin forgets about the chocolate, twisting back to sit beside Christen.
“I’m not sure.” Christen says honestly.
“Okay.” Tobin’s voice is calm and steady and it grounds Christen in a way she wasn’t expecting to feel while being in such a vulnerable position. “Well, when
you are sure, tell me, because Christen—“ Tobin turns and waits a beat until Christen meets her eyes and Tobin’s are so soft but so dark in a way Christen’s never seen them before, “I’ve been thinking about kissing you too.”
Christen nods her head because she’s not exactly sure what to say but when Tobin goes to slip from the bed Christen grabs her wrist halting her movement, “stay?”
“Yeah?” Tobin’s looking down at Christen through her glasses and Christen can see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
“Yeah, you’re not terrible company. Read another chapter of your dungeons and dragons book and I’ll actually try and write something.” Christen says giving her wrist another tug until Tobin’s landing beside her on the bed.
“Please tell me that was, like, a terrible, terrible, joke—“ Tobin says arching a brow as she looks incredulously at Christen, “and not you telling me that you’ve never read Harry Potter.”
Christen just shrugs and bites hard into her bottom lip to stop from smiling. She grabs her laptop from between them and opens it again completely ignoring the huff of indignation passing through Tobin’s lips.
“First Finding Nemo, then Mighty Ducks, and now Harry Potter?—“ Tobin closes Christen’s laptop with the palm of her hand and it has Christen turning to face her, “I can’t let this go Chris.”
Christen laughs, “what?”
“It’s story time. Lucky for you I’ve just restarted the series.” Tobin explains as she settles back against the pillows on Christen’s bed. “Chapter one, the boy who lives—“
“You’re serious?” Christen says in disbelief as she stares at Tobin staring at her.
“Deadly, now get comfy.” Tobin instructs as she waits for Christen to move her laptop and settle in beside her. “Perfect okay where were we, oh yeah, okay, the boy who lives—“
Christen’s eyes stay on Tobin’s profile watching the way her lips form around each word and the way that Tobin’s eyelashes are so long that they collide with the lenses of her glasses when she pushes them up the bridge of her nose (and when Christen thinks back on it later—way, way, later—she knows that this, right here, is the moment she truly started falling for Tobin)
“Mr. and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much—“
Tobin stays and reads three more chapters before she’s slipping out of Christen’s bed and making her way to the door, “goodnight Chris.”
“Night Tobin.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Christen knows they will be, “you too.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The sun is shining and there’s not a cloud in the sky and Christen is convinced that Mother Nature deserves a god damn Oscar for this performance because she’s just barely walked from the car to the coffee shop and can no longer feel her nose, or her cheeks, or her fingers.Meghan holds the door open as Christen hustles through with Tobin right behind her. The line is long but they have some time to kill before practice.“Why is it so busy? It’s freezing outside.” Christen grumbles as she rubs her hands together to try and get the feeling back in them.“It’s a beautiful day, Christen. The sun is shining what more could you want?” Meghan asks as she lets a couple step in front of them as they eye the menu board. “Ahhh their donuts are almost gone, you’re on your own!” Meghan says as she jumps into the line leaving Tobin and Christen on their own.“Do you know what you want?” Tobin asks skeptically.“Something hot. Maybe a latte. How about you?” Christen asks taking her eyes off the menu to look at Tobin.“Iced coffee.”“Seriously?” Christen asks in disbelief.“Always.”Christen just shakes her head as she eyes the menu again, she’s been practicing her Swedish with the help of Olivia and she’s actually not half bad, “I’m getting a latte.” Christen makes to get into line but Tobin grabs her by the wrist which brings her to a quick stop.“Let me pay?”“Why?” “Cause I like you and I want to.”Christen smiles, “Okay.”Tobin smirks, “also I need you to order mine.”Christen chuckles bumping her shoulder into Tobin’s as they step into line, “you know, practically all of them speak English.”“I do know that—“ Tobin leans in close and Christen tries not to sway into her warmth, “but you’re really cute when you’re speaking Swedish.”Christen’s cheeks flush red just as they’re stepping up to the counter and of course she fumbles through their orders while Tobin dutifully pulls out her money to pay.“Thanks.”“You’re welcome.”“Think we have time to drink them here?” Christen asks as she eyes the coffee shop. It’s really cozy but also very busy and she doesn’t want to be late for practice.“We should probably head out—“ Tobin says as she looks around the shop for Meghan and it doesn’t take too long to spot her walking back from the counter, “Kling’s already done her donut so she can drive while we drink.”“Sounds good.”“Alright ladies to the Klingmobile!”Christen just shakes her head and braces for the cold that awaits her on the other side of the door.
*********
There’s a certain ebb and flow to playing soccer —a certain ebb and flow to life really—and Christen’s pretty sure the ebb is coming on a little strong (rough runs, shaky passes, unideal first touches) with a distinct lack of flow (goal scoring.)It had been another frustrating practice for Christen and with their first game so close it’s really starting to weigh on her. The feeling winding up in her, tighter and tighter, and it’s too much like the past, too much self inflicted stress, and she really wants to get a handle on it before it takes hold.Christen’s got a plan for when they get home and it consists of lighting some candles, doing some meditation, maybe a hot shower, read a book, and relax.“You okay?” Tobin asks as they make their way up the steps.“Yeah—“ Christen says pushing through the front door, “wasn’t a great practice for me, made a lot of mistakes.”“Off days sucks.”Christen laughs weakly, “they do.” “We’re heading down to Paddington’s to watch the game, wanna come?” Tobin’s got her head tilted and a soft smile and Christen knows she’s a little too wound up— despite wanting to say yes— to be any kind of good company.“Thanks but I think I’m just going to hang here.”“Cool.” Tobin says with a nod heading to her room.“Meet me in the car Heath! Don’t take too long—“ Meghan says as she whizzes through the house, “sure you don’t wanna come?”Christen smiles and nods her head, “I’m good, thanks though.”“Bye!”Christen drops off her stuff in her room and heads out to the kitchen to grab a drink before she decides what’s she’s gonna do first for the evening.Christen can hear Tobin getting ready and decides it’s probably best to just slip into her room before Tobin comes out because Christen knows she’s going to look good and if Tobin asks her if she’s sure about staying home Christen might change her mind.So she tries to speed around the back of the couch before Tobin finishes and it would have worked too had Christen not tripped on the corner of the rug, but she does, and it sends her stumbling forward, arms out in front of her bracing for the floor, but Tobin chooses that moment to dart out of her room—rushing to get to the car before Meghan gets mad—and crashes right into a careening Christen.Christen’s butt lands up against the back of the couch with Tobin pressed up against her front, “sorry, sorry, I uh- I tripped over the rug.”“It’s all good.” Tobin says as she braces her hands on the back of the couch on either side of Christen effectively trapping her there.Christen’s teeth bite into her lower lip as her eyes sweep along Tobin’s body because she’s changed from her training clothes into a pair of black skinny jeans, a white T-shirt, a leather bomber jacket, and a black snap back and it’s making Christen’s fingers grip just a little bit harder into the back of the couch.Tobin looks good, really fucking good, and she’s having an effect on Christen, and Christen just knows Tobin knows it, cause she’s got this smirk on her face and her eyes are locked on Christen’s lips.Christen swallows thickly, “have fun.”Tobin leans in even closer and for a second Christen swears she’s going to kiss her —and Christen’s going to let her— but her lips hover near the shell of Christen’s ear, “so about that kiss—““Tobin! Heath! I swear to god—“Tobin doesn’t exactly jump back but it’s definitely a very fast step backwards and it leaves Christen more than a little dizzy and more than a little hot under the collar.“Let’s go dude!” Meghan says as she looks at Tobin throwing her hands up in the air as she spins around to head back out to the car.“Later Chris.”Christen’s not sure how to respond, not sure how to make it seem like she hasn’t completely melted against the couch from the thought of Tobin kissing her, “bye.”**********“Just relax.” Christen takes a deep breath and tries to do just that, but it’s just as unsuccessful this time as it has been for the last twenty minutes, “forget it, meditation is out.” She grumbles to herself as she flops back onto her bed, one arm across her face and the other one across her stomach, “this shouldn’t be so hard.”The candles are lit and there’s a nice mellow atmosphere. Christen has changed into her softest sweatshirt and her comfiest sleep shorts, and still nothing.It feels like a lost cause because Christen can feel the way her body is still vibrating, thrumming beneath the surface, and it’s now that Tobin’s words pop into her head ‘you need a more hands on approach, a little self love.’What Christen wants to do is laugh it off and hop up from the bed and take a shower but instead she slides the hand that’s resting across her stomach under her sweatshirt, fingers moving slowly until they’re cupping her breast, and she gives an experimental squeeze.It feels good, so she does it again, this time letting her fingers tease her nipples.That feels even better, so she does it again, this time harder.Christen doesn’t do this, not normally, not with any kind of end result that would have her wanting to do it again. She doesn’t have a technique or any kind of real idea how to keep the momentum going and she feels her self starting to tense up at the thought of this not working either.Christen decides it’s not technically quitting if she stops before she’s really tried anything but when she turns her head to look for her phone the smell of Tobin’s shampoo is clinging to the pillow and it has her hand reflexively tightening around her breast and something coiling low in her stomach.“Oh.” Christen inhales again this time sliding her right hand down to tease along the elastic of her night shorts, her blunt nails dragging along the skin that’s exposed by her rucked up sweatshirt.Christen’s still just teasing herself, not sure what to do next, so when the image of Tobin pops into her head —white towel wrapped tightly around her and her hair piled loosely on her head— Christen’s hips buck involuntarily making her hand slide into her shorts.It’s with her eyes firmly shut and the thought of what Tobin’s skin would taste like right in the curve where her neck and shoulder meet that Christen slips her fingers beneath her underwear.Christen can’t stop the sigh that falls from her lips and she’s thankful she has the house to herself, because it’s actually working and it feels so good.Christen’s wet and there’s something so satisfying about the way her fingers slide down and then back up to rub against her clit. She starts with slow broad circles, but when she starts thinking about how it’d feel to have Tobin’s lips pressed against her skin something inside her shifts.Everything feels like it’s tightening, and she can’t go slow anymore because whatever is building inside her needs a release, and Christen just knows that it’s going to work this time.Her shorts stop her from being able to spread her thighs just as widely as she’d like but there’s something about the way that when she looks down and sees her wrist working against the band of her shorts that has her fingers tightly pinching her nipple.She’s so close.So she’s goes a little faster and a little harder, but it’s still not enough.Until it is. It’s the thought of Tobin watching her that has Christen’s heels digging into the mattress and her teeth digging into her lower lip.And god it feels so good. The way every single muscle in Christen’s body melts against the bed and she debates just letting herself enjoy it and falling asleep right there.But she doesn’t.After her breathing goes back to normal she rolls from the bed and makes her way to the bathroom ready for a nice hot shower and some pretty smelling body wash.**********Christen stays in the shower a lot longer than normal but there’s really no need to worry about using up all the hot water because Tobin and Meghan probably won’t be back for a while yet anyways.She’s curled up on the couch just about ready to start writing when she hears her phone ding, and then again. It’s her sisters, “oh great a group text.”
[tyler]
Sooooooo?
[channing]
So?
Any progress?
[tyler]
Have you kissed her yet?
“Oh god-“ Christen sighs as she reads the rapid fire texts from her nosey sisters.
[christen]
I told her I wanted to kiss her.
[tyler]
Huh?
[channing]
What?
[tyler]
So you didn’t kiss her?
[christen]
No
[channing]
Just told her you’d like to?
[christen]
Yeah, basically.
[tyler]
What the hell is that?
[christen]
A baby step.
[channing]
Oh my god Christen!
[christen]
What? It’s a baby step!
[tyler]
How olds the baby? Like six months?
[channing]
Super shaky footed and still grasping on to its mother’s hands?
[christen]
I hate you both.
[channing]
You love us.
[tyler]
We’re helpful.
Christen tosses her phone out of reach and pulls her laptop back over and onto her legs and starts typing.Everything seems to be flowing and Christen’s just really content with how her night has unfolded and it doesn’t stop when Meghan and Tobin bound through the front door with big smiles plastered on their faces.They both drape themselves over the back of the couch forcing Christen to tilt her head up to see them, “let me guess, you won?”Tobin drops down onto her forearms against the back rest of the couch and it brings her face within inches of Christen’s, “we dominated.”The timbre of Tobin’s voice has a shiver running down her spine and Christen’s not positive but thinks this probably shouldn’t be getting her worked up again quite as easily as it seems to be doing.Tobin doesn’t move, actually leans in a little closer, “so how was your night?”Christen can’t fight the blush covering her cheeks and she definitely can’t look Tobin in the eyes so she stares at her computer screen and mumbles, “pretty good.”“Cool.” Tobin says as she pushes off the couch.“You guys wanna watch a movie?” Meghan asks with hopeful eyes.“Sure let me change.” Tobin says as she heads off to her bedroom.“Yeah that sounds nice.” Christen says as she shuts her laptop, “should I make popcorn?”“Yes!”
“Definitely.”Christen chuckles as she makes her way to the kitchen to get started. They have an old school popper where you pour the kernels in and Christen absolutely adores it.“Extra butter please!” Tobin says as she shuffles into the kitchen giving a little tug on the hem of Christen’s sweatshirt before she hops onto the counter.Christen laughs softly, “of course.”“What, you don’t like extra butter?” Tobin asks with a furrowed brow.“I do, it’s just messy.” Christen says with a shrug as she grabs the butter from the fridge.Tobin looks towards the living room making sure Meghan’s still in her room before she slips off the counter and slides up beside Christen, “that’s not a bad thing Chris.”Christen spins around to face Tobin and immediately wishes she hadn’t because Tobin’s got this smirk on her face and she’s all leaned up against the counter looking so soft and cozy and it’s such a contrast to her night on the town outfit and Christen’s not sure what one she likes more, “its not?”Tobin slowly shakes her head and the way her eyes stray to Christen’s fingers then back to her face has a heat settling over Christen’s whole body, “definitely not, just means you get to lick them clean.”“It’s Mean Girls this time!” Meghan says as she comes skidding to a stop in front of the tv, “popcorn ready?”Christen can’t find any words and busies herself grabbing them some bowls.“Almost.”“It’s gonna be so fetch!”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Christen likes to be punctual, which in all actuality means Christen likes to be early, and it’s becoming increasingly hard to do with her go with the flow roommates.
So, when Olivia texts her first thing in the morning asking if she wants to grab coffee for the bus trip to Malmö—it’s Christen’s first game, actually it’s her first and only game before they fly to London to play Arsenal in the first leg of the Champions League Quarterfinals— she agrees right away.
It’s why Christen’s already settled into her window seat beside Olivia when she sees Meghan and Tobin both trying to squeeze through the bus door at the same time, each wanting to avoid being the last one on.
Meghan manages to shoulder her way on first and heads to one of the only empty seats at the back of the bus. Tobin follows, but more slowly, and Christen can’t help but laugh at the pout she aims her way when she sees Christen is already sitting with Olivia.
Christen just shrugs and smiles trying not to blush under the scrutiny of Olivia’s gaze.
It’s a three and a half hour ride and Christen’s got a few playlists on her phone and some magazines in her bag and the company of Olivia so she’s pretty set.
They haven’t even been on the road for five minutes before her phone is buzzing.
[tobin]
I thought you were going to save me a seat.
[christen]
That was never stated.
[tobin]
It was implied.
[christen]
By?
[tobin]
Me. This morning. See ya on the bus meant I’ll see you on the bus when we’re sitting together.
Christen can’t hold in the laugh as she reads Tobin’s texts.
[
christen]
Sorry. My bad.
[tobin]
I see what you did there Press. Thanks for sticking me with Kling, like I don’t get enough of her already being roommates and all.
[christen]
Tobin, we’re roommates.
[tobin]
Yep, but we’ve established we’d like to kiss each other.
Christen’s heart skips a beat seeing it there in front of her like something tangible between them.
[christen]
So?
[tobin]
So I want to spend time with you.
[christen]
Oh.
Christen can feel herself smiling as she reads the text, and there’s something so simple about the words. It’s
causing this fluttering in her stomach that just won’t go away.
“Who are you messaging?”
Christen looks up a little startled, “huh?”
“Your phone? Who’s making you smile?” Olivia asks with a raised brow.
“Oh it’s just Tobin.” Christen says trying to be nonchalant but not quite pulling it off because she watches as Olivia spins around in her seat to stare back at Tobin, who of course is looking at them, and gives her a lopsided smile and nod.
Olivia’s smile is slow, “your cheeks are pink.”
“I’m warm.” Christen lies.
Olivia chuckles, “California girl warm? I doubt that.”
“They must have the heat on high or something.” Christen mumbles as she shoves her phone into her bag deciding that reading a magazine will get her into less trouble.
Olivia taps on her shoulder until Christen looks up, “word of the day?”
Christen smiles brightly, “yes please.”
“Hon ger mig fjärilar i magen.” Christen’s eyes go wide and Olivia laughs, “I guess it’s a little more than a word.”
“Hon ger mig fjärilar i magen.” The words tumble slow and roughly off Christen’s tongue, her eyebrows knitting together as she tries to translate it. “What does it mean?”
Olivia turns in her seat so she’s looking back at Tobin and waits until Christen follows, “hon ger mig fjärilar i magen; she gives me butterflies.”
Christen whips back around in her seat, pulling Olivia with her, “no.”
“She does.”
Christen flips through the pages of her magazine, too fast to even give off the illusion of reading them, “it’s nothing.”
Olivia smiles, “it won’t be for long.”
****************
They’re in the eighty fifth minute and down by a goal and Christen can physically feel the time slipping through her fingers.
The pitch is slick because the storm they had been calling for all afternoon has finally made itself known as cold rain falls hard against the ground.
Christen almost feels defeat as she watches the ball sail down the field off a goal kick knowing they’re losing precious seconds. It’s getting harder to see but as she wipes her face with her gloved hands she can make out
Tobin down the field, poking the ball through a Malmö forward’s feet, and spinning to her left to carry on down the field.
Christen’s heart begins to beat fast because she knows this run, she knows this play, and she sprints towards her position. She can see Tobin coming up the right as Christen comes up the center and she can’t see Olivia, but she just knows she’s on her left.
Tobin gets to just inside the box and stops dead which leaves the defender over correcting (and slipping on the wet grass) skidding past Tobin to leave a wide open gap for her pass.
Tobin’s quick about it because they’re getting flanked pretty fast. The ball lands a little roughly at Christen’s feet and she takes a beat to steady it and then fires.
It goes screaming past the goalie landing in the upper right corner just under the crossbar and it feels amazing.
Christen’s got her arms in the air above her head and the biggest smile on her face. She can feel Olivia come slamming into her from behind wrapping her arms around her waist in a tight hug that Christen can’t even reciprocate because all she can think about is wrapping them around Tobin’s neck.
Olivia follows her line of sight and laughs, “fjärilar i magen, yes?”
Christen nods as Olivia steps back just in time for Tobin to come crashing into her. Christen feels Tobin’s arms tight around her waist and the second she’s got hers around Tobin’s neck she can feel herself being lifted off the ground.
Tobin’s body is warm against the cold evening air and the wet rain. Christen just wants to bury her face in right against Tobin’s cheek and stay there but it’s over so quickly and she can feel the hard ground beneath her feet again, “beautiful goal Chris.”
Christen wants to remember this forever —Tobin’s bright smile backdropped by the dark and stormy sky, cold rain sluicing down against them and the feeling of pride swelling in her chest—she knows she will, knows she’ll never be able to forget this moment.
Christen doesn’t have time to answer because the ball gets kicked halfway down the field and Tobin’s off like a shot. There’s only a minute, tops, left at this point as Christen jogs down the field and it’s over before anything more can really happen.
It’s the first time Christen has ever walked off the pitch happy with a draw.
This has to be growth.
***********
Christen now thinks herself naive for, ever, believing snow was terrible because freezing rain, well, this stuff is utterly ridiculous.
They were supposed to drive home and Christen was suppose to sleep in her own bed but now there are weather advisories and road closures and the whole team is cramming into the closest hotel they can find with available rooms.
Christen and Olivia get paired, which is fine by Christen because her plans include a hot shower, a change of clothes, and maybe some reading or tv. Olivia’s there just long enough to drop off her stuff before she’s heading out the door stopping abruptly to turn back, “Kling brought her Nintendo 3DS we’re doing a round robin tournament wanna come?”
Christen laughs and shakes her head no, “I’m just gonna shower and relax but I’ll see you later! Good luck!”
“Won’t need it!” Olivia says with a smile as she closes the door behind herself leaving Christen in the silence of the room.
She grabs the only change of clothes she has —an old pair of black training pants, a grey t shirt, and a black Göteborg sweatshirt—she wasn’t planning on an overnight trip.
It’s with a sigh of resignation and a longing for her own bed that Christen hops into the shower turning it a little hotter than she thinks she can stand just to feel that warmth in her bones again.
It’s close to an hour later when she hears a knock on the door. Christen assumes it’s Olivia who forgot her key so it comes as a bit of a shock to see Tobin leaned up against the door frame.
She’s dressed in a similar outfit of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, her hair is pulled back in a loose half bun, and a plastic bag dangles precariously from her fingertips.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“Can I come in?” Tobin asks quietly as she smiles up at Christen.
Christen doesn’t answer just steps back so Tobin can step into the room. She heads straight to the unmade bed—which she knows is Christen’s because Olivia has been in their room all night—and flops down.
“Make yourself comfortable.” Christen says sarcastically as she tries to make enough room for herself on the twin size bed.
“Already have.” Tobin responds with a lazy grin.
“I can see that—“ Christen says with a scowl as her shoulder bumps into Tobin’s, “what’s in the bag?”
“Oh this?” Tobin says as she dumps her offerings down onto the blanket, “celebratory snacks!”
Christen smiles at the array of junk food spread out on the bed but her smile falters just a little bit, “no chocolate?”
Tobin chuckles, “such the sweet tooth.” Christen watches as Tobin snakes her hand into the front pocket of her sweatshirt and pulls out a gold wrapped milk chocolate bar and hands it to Christen. “I swiped this from Kling, she got the last one—“
“
Tobin
?!” Christen whines because she can’t eat stolen chocolate no matter how badly she wants to.
“What? She only got to it first cause she tripped me and don’t worry I paid her for it, I mean, I slipped her some money where she had hidden the chocolate so, yeah, it’s all yours.”
Christen unwraps it and immediately pops a square in her mouth and it’s so delicious she can barely hold back the moan of approval, “
so good
.”
She breaks off a couple more before wrapping it up and setting it on the end table because she definitely does not need a stomach full of chocolate before bed.
Tobin grabs the bag of sour patch kids and goes about ripping it open and Christen watches as she peeks through the bag picking out only the red ones, “gotta eat the best ones first in case I get full.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“It’s genius actually cause you enjoy the first few the most so if I save them till last I’ll just be forcing myself to eat them.” Tobin says with a shrug as she pops three of them in her mouth.
Christen crinkles her brow because technically Tobin’s not wrong but she doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of being right so she just lets it go.
They sit in silence for a while just enjoying their candy until Christen can’t help her eyes from wandering to Tobin’s lips, watching the way her tongue will dart out every so often to lick up some stray sugar.
Christen’s pretty sure she’s ready—actually she’s pretty sure she’s been ready— to kiss Tobin (for a while now).
“Wanna watch a movie?” Tobin asks turning to look at Christen.
Christen shakes her head slowly, “no.”
“Oh, ummm, sorry. Ya, uh, I guess it is getting late.” Tobin tosses her candy back into the plastic bag trying to gather her things to head out. “I’ll let you—“
Christen halts Tobin mid sentence by wrapping her fingers around her wrist and tugging gently until Tobin turns her head, “I don’t want you to go.”
“No?”
“I want to kiss you.”
“
Oh
.”
Christen watches as Tobin sizes her up, and the way her eyes sweep over her body has Christen’s
fingers itching to touch, “so?”
Tobin’s gaze is calculating and before Christen has really registered what’s happening Tobin is straddling her. She’s got her knees on either side of Christen’s hips and she’s hovering, “is this okay?”
Christen licks her lips and nods her head, “
yeah
.”
Everything about it is slow.
The way Tobin sinks down onto the tops of Christen’s thighs so Christen can feel her weight. Her hands sliding up Christen’s neck until they’re cupping her jaw, thumbs tracing the soft skin on Christen’s cheeks and the tips of her fingers tangling in the strands of her hair.
Christen’s breath is stuttering in her chest as her blood rushes through her veins. Every fiber of Christen’s being wants her to surge forward and just take what she’s been thinking about but she can’t, not with Tobin looking at her like this, all soft brown eyes trying to memorize every inch of her face.
Christen feels like she’s coming apart at the edges, “
Tobin
?”
“You’re so beautiful Chris.”
It’s a compliment Christen’s heard before and her response is always a polite thank you but this time, hearing those words from Tobin who’s looking at her like she’s the only girl in the world, it’s making her ribs ache.
Tobin leans in and Christen can feel her eyelids getting heavy. When she feels Tobin’s breath warm against her lips it’s too much and they flutter closed completely.
Tobin’s lips are soft and it’s the only thing Christen can think about when she finally feels them press against her own.
It’s barely more than a whisper, just the slightest amount of pressure, and Tobin’s pulling back imperceptibly (just enough so she can look Christen in the eyes).
Christen’s tongue swipes out to drag along her own bottom lip and she can taste a hint of cherry and it’s a faint reminder of the candy Tobin had been eating just moments before.
Tobin doesn’t move a muscle, “so that was—“
“Again.”
Christen does rock forward this time so she can capture Tobin’s bottom lip between her own and suck on it gently—just like she’s been thinking about doing for a while— and it feels so good and has a heat settling low in Christen’s belly and the way Tobin’s hands slide off her jaw and all the way into her hair until her fingers are tangled and pulling gently has Christen whimpering against her lips.
Tobin only waits a fraction of a second, barely lets Christen catch her breath, before she’s tilting her head and licking her way into Christen’s mouth.
Christen’s hands are fisted idly in the sheets of the bed but when she feels Tobin’s tongue against hers they move up and slide just slightly under Tobin’s sweatshirt until her fingertips are settling heavy against Tobin’s hips.
Christen’s never felt this hot all over, never felt this need to squeeze her thighs together to give herself any kind of friction, has definitely never felt this dizzying desire that’s leaving her craving more.
Christen’s just about worked up enough courage to press her fingers a little more tightly into Tobin’s hips so she can help her rock forward a little bit heavier against all the places Christen wants to feel her so it’s a little shocking when she goes to tighten her fingers and is met with air.
“What the—“
“I am the Champion, I am the champion, I am the Champion....of Göteborg
—“ Olivia busts through the door singing away to herself, “the rooms all yours Tobin, I’d avoid Kling though she’s a sore loser!”
Tobin shoots a quick, bright smile at Christen and chuckles as she shuffles past Olivia, “you think she’d get used to it after never winning but it hits her hard every time.”
Christen’s still just barely caught her breath and she’s looking everywhere but at Olivia and it’s way beyond suspicious but she can’t think, can barely even hear anything over the sound of her own heart beating in her ears.
She really can’t get over the fact that Tobin was the more in control one and that if it hadn’t been for her Olivia most definitely would have walked in on them making out on Christen’s bed.
“Godnatt Tobin.”
“Night Olivia—“ Tobin turns around before she walks out the door, “sweet dreams Chris.”
“You too.” Christen doesn’t look up until she hears the click of the door and she regrets it instantly because all she can see is Olivia’s smiling face, “
don’t
.”
Olivia doesn’t say a word just keeps smiling as she pulls back the blankets of her bed.
Christen does the same, turning off the light before she climbs in, relishing in the darkness that envelopes the room.
Her heart is still thudding against her ribs— her body vibrating in a totally unfamiliar way—and Christen begins to count its beats to try to lull herself to sleep.
“You give them to her too.”
Christen rolls over in bed and tries to make out Olivia’s face, “what?”
“Fjärilar i magen. You give Tobin the butterflies too.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Christen has a soccer travel day routine—actually she’s had one since she started playing competitively—always thriving on the comfortableness of its predictability.
It started when she was ten sitting in her parents SUV (she always took the back row letting Tyler and Channing sit together) orange juice in hand and Ghetto Superstar blaring through the speakers.
It’s evolved slightly with age.
She’s traded in the back row seat in the family SUV for many a too small window seats, in planes that just never have enough leg room. The orange juice has been upgraded to coffee (what kind of coffee depends on her mood and where she is). All the cd mixes made with painstaking care on the family’s pc, labeled with colored sharpies, and stored in those cd organizers with the plastic sheets and the zippered closure, have been replaced with playlists on her phone and a quality pair of noise cancelling headphones.
But for Christen the feeling is the same and the familiarity is there calming her down—which is why when Olivia goes to walk past Christen instead of sliding in beside her it has Christen pushing her headphones off her ears and looking at her quizzically, “Olivia?”
Olivia stops in the aisle looking over at Christen, “ja?”
“I thought we were sitting together.”
Olivia nods her head with a smile, “we were.”
Christen’s eyebrows draw together, “were?”
Olivia looks past Christen, down the aisle, to where Tobin is stuck behind Kling who’s trying to stuff her too big bag into the overhead compartment.
“Tobin asked to switch,” Olivia says with a smirk, “she gets planesick? Like what you get in the car, yes?”
Christen’s eyes lock with Tobin’s and she’s got on a shit eating grin as she smiles over Meghan’s hunched form and Christen can’t help but roll her eyes, “that’s not a thing.”
Olivia laughs as she continues on to take her seat beside Cam near the back of the plane.
“Thanks for saving me a seat,” Tobin says with a grin as she plops down into the seat next to Christen.
Christen can’t help the smile pulling at her lips at Tobin’s ridiculous antics just so they can sit beside each other, “I didn’t have much of a choice did I?”
Tobin chuckles, “Olivia was super understanding about my condition—“
Christen’s laugh cuts Tobin off, “oh yeah, you get plane sick?”
Tobin nods her head solemnly but the toothy grin is a dead give away, “only when I’m not sitting next to the prettiest girl on the plane.”
“That sounds pretty serious.”
“Good thing I won’t have to worry about it this flight.” Tobin says lowly as her eyes flicker up and down over Christen’s body stopping when they reach her face again.
Christen’s cheeks are warm and she almost feels like squirming under Tobin’s hot gaze but she forces herself to sit still, “I have a routine.”
“What?”
“For traveling. I have a routine—“
Tobin laughs deeply, “of course you do Chris, but I mean, new plane buddy—“ she says arching her brow, “new routine?”
Christen eyes the phone clutched in her hand and then looks up at Tobin, who is now sporting the biggest pout—and god Christen wants to lean forward and press a kiss to her pouted lips—it has her slowly sliding the headphones from around her neck to tuck them safely in her bag, “what did you have in mind?”
Tobin smiles victoriously, “okay so have you ever played MonopDeal?”
Christen slowly shakes her head no and smiles at Tobin’s disappointed glare, “sorry.”
“Okay well, Al and I are bus buddies and—“
Christen’s brows furrow together, “hold on a second, Al? As in Alex Morgan?”
“Yes and she’s ridiculously competitive. So we play MonopDeal on the bus, we always keep score, and I’m one hundred percent sure the only reason she’s winning is because she cheats, but that’s besides the point—“
“And the point is?” Christen asks as she eyes the cards in Tobin’s hands.
“I need to practice and you—“ Tobin says smiling at Christen, “definitely need to learn how to play so win-win.”
“Debatable. I mean what if I beat you?” Christen says with a slow smirk.
“Not gonna happen Press.” Tobin says as she begins to deal out the cards.
“We’ll see Tobin.” Christen counters as she reaches for her cards and the rule book which makes Tobin laugh, “what?”
“You love rules huh Chris.”
“I need to know them so I can beat you fair and square.”
Tobin just laughs as she lets Christen read through all the rules, “ready?”
“Yep.” Christen says eyeing her cards and smiling.
By the time they land in London Christen can see the scoresheet on Tobin’s phone directly under the one labeled ‘Alex the Cheater’, it’s labeled ‘Press vs. Heath’ and it’s 1-1, so not a terrible new plane routine.
************************************
The Champions League is serious business, like, this first leg of the quarterfinals game against the Arsenal Ladies is the biggest game in the club’s history and boy does Christen feel it.
They touch down in London and the preparations for the game begin immediately.
The next three days are filled with training and recovery, drill after drill after drill, followed by ice baths (which are complete torture) and massages (that just barely make up for it).
There’s a plethora of team meetings all touching on similar subjects with the same end objective of winning.
It’s practices of 1v1 and 5v5 and 7v7 with colored pinnies and overzealous teammates that always have them breathless and flopping down on the sidelines arguing about fouls that should have been called.
Christen can feel the excitement bubbling in her stomach the night before the game and the result is her anxiously fluttering around the room much to Olivia’s dismay.
“Nervous?”
Christen stops in her tracks, half way between the two beds, as she spins to look at Olivia, “excited I think,” because it really doesn’t feel like the nerves she used to get, the ones that would have the tears welling up in her eyes and the bile rising up in her throat before she’d take the pitch in her cardinal reds.
“You’re making me dizzy.”
“Sorry.” Christen says apologetically as she climbs into bed and tries to settle herself enough to read and then hopefully fall asleep.
Olivia laughs, “it’s good.”
Christen’s barely a chapter in when her phone starts buzzing and she’s dropping her book in favor of seeing who’s messaging her.
[tyler]
Good luck tomorrow.
[channing]
Can’t wait to see you play. Have fun.
[Mom]
Good luck sweetie can’t wait to watch you play tomorrow, hopefully the quality is better, last time it was like watching little black blobs running around.
Christen laughs at her mom’s text just picturing her there grumbling at Tyler to do something about it.
Christen shoots them off some thank you texts and wonders why she hasn’t received one from her dad but just figures he’s stuck at work so she turns her light off and snuggles in to try and get some sleep.
“Godnatt Chris.”
“Night Olivia.”
It’s not even five minutes later and Christen can feel her phone buzzing, it goes off twice, and there’s no way Christen can sleep until she checks the new messages.
[tobin]
Sweet dreams Chris.
A soft smile spreads across Christen’s face and it has her chest tightening in response. The last few days have been all business and she’s actually missed goofing around with Tobin (or maybe more accurately Tobin goofing around with her.)
[christen]
You too Tobin.
The next text is from her father and Christen’s so happy to see it because she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until he messaged her.
[BD]
Can’t wait to see you play tomorrow ‘Mo.
[christen]
Make sure you find a good live stream for Mom.
[BD]
No can do, I won’t be home.
Christen’s brows furrow and it’s so rare for her dad to miss a game live but maybe work has been busier than Christen thought.
[christen]
Oh dang it, make sure she doesn’t spoil the score for you.
[BD]
If anything I’ll be spoiling it for her with my live texting, or tweeting if your sisters would set up my tweeter.
Christen rolls her eyes at her dads’ ridiculous sense of humor.
[christen]
What?
[BD]
Bid Daddy is flying out for a lovely one day no night stay to see his extremely talented middle daughter take on the Arsenal Ladies!
Christen can’t help the squeal that escapes her lips because she hasn’t been this excited to see her father since she was five and her and her sisters would fight over who got to spend Sunday’s running errands with him.
“You okay?” Olivia asks concern lacing her voice.
“More than okay,” Christen exclaims with a huge grin, “my dad’s coming to the game tomorrow!”
“From L.A?”
“Yep.” Christen says popping the ‘p’ as she snuggles back into bed.
[BD]
I’ll let you get some sleep. See you tomorrow. Love you.
[christen]
I can’t wait to see you Dad, no matter how briefly. I love you.
It doesn’t come easy because Christen’s excitement is so slow to fade but eventually she drifts off into a restful sleep.
************
“So let me get this straight, he’s flying from L.A to London for less than a day to watch you in a game he could easily stream?” Meghan asks with disbelief written across her face.
They’re all in the change room getting ready to head out for warm ups and honestly when Christen hears it phrased like that it kind of does sound extra but it does nothing to tamp down her excitement or the smile that’s glued to her face.
“Yeah, I mean, I guess—is it, I mean, is it that weird?” Christen questions a little self consciously.
“Uh yeah dude!” Meghan replies with a laugh as she laces up her cleats.
“Well I for one am all about that familial love—“ Tobin says smiling up at Christen and it helps to settle something that’s been rattling against Christen’s ribs, “it’s sweet.”
“Thanks I’m so excited to see him even though it’ll probably just be a quick hug and picture on the pitch after the game it just makes it that much more special.”
Tobin just smiles and nods as they follow the rest of the team out to the pitch.
The game definitely does not go how they planned. The final score is 3-1 for the Arsenal Ladies and it hurts.
A lot.
But they’re not out, not yet.
Their end of the game huddle is over and Christen’s eyes are scanning the stands for her father when Olivia’s arm wraps around her shoulder, “hard loss ja?” and Tobin and Meghan sidle up beside her.
“Hard? Yes, it’s hard and I’m disappointed but I mean we’re clicking and finding ourselves and I’m also just so hopeful—“ Christen can’t really find the right words because this isn’t something she’s felt before, well, at least not something she’s felt about soccer, not in a very long time.
“I think it’s a good thing because all the players are feeling this way—“ Olivia explains as Meghan and Tobin nod along with her, “knowing that we were a strong team, but still could do thirty percent better. The feeling is in our hearts and we all just want to take it to the pitch and let it all out—“
“And we will back at Valhalla!” Meghan shouts fists pumping in the air and before Christen knows it she’s being dragged into another team huddle but this one way more upbeat.
Christen’s laughing and jumping around awkwardly along with the rest of the team when she feels Tobin’s hands settle on her shoulders, “I think someone’s looking for you.”
Christen spins to see her dad watching them with a big grin on the sidelines and she makes a beeline right for him, “dad!!”
Christen flings herself into his open waiting arms wrapping her own arms tight around his neck, “great game Chris.”
Christen can feel his words whispered into the top of her head, muffled by her hair, “sorry you flew all this way to watch us lose.”
Christen feels her dad push gently against her shoulders until their eyes can meet, “I flew all this way to watch you play an amazing game of soccer, which I did.”
Christen smiles as he leans forward and places a soft kiss to her forehead, “Thanks dad.”
“Sweden suits you.”
Christen stares up at her dad with confusion written all over her face and she knows it’s what’s causing the smirk to pull on his lips, “what do you mean?”
“I mean Sweden suits you. It looks good on you. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen you smile this much on the pitch?” Cody questions gently.
Christen can feel the tears prickling at her eyes because she feels it too, whatever her dad is seeing, it’s exactly what she’s feeling. It’s a shift, like her pieces are finally coming together in a way that makes sense for her, “too long?”
Cody laughs heartily and pulls her into a tight bear hug, “entirely too long Mo, entirely too long.”
***********************************
They may have lost— this game and this leg, not the whole championship—but there’s still plenty to celebrate so it doesn’t take too much convincing to have Christen slipping into a tight pair of black skinny jeans, a loose fitting low cut white tank (which Olivia graciously lended her when she deemed Christen’s choice too tame) and a black leather jacket.The girls find a tucked away little tavern on a cobblestone street and it’s easily voted the spot of the night.There are booths with big cushiony seats, dart boards hung up on the walls, and an empty pool table in the far corner, which Tobin and Meghan make a beeline for immediately.“Grab us some beers Christen?” Meghan asks as she spins around quickly to make eye contact with Christen.“A pitcher?” Christen questions as Olivia comes to a stop waiting for her.“Tobes, pitcher or bottle?”“Bottle.” Tobin says looking up from racking the balls to shoot a bright smile at Christen, “please.”Christen swallows thickly because Tobin looks good, extremely good, with her hair wavy and falling over her shoulder and her shirt just a little tighter than what she normally wears clinging to every muscled inch of her. It’s a struggle but Christen eventually drags her eyes up to meet Tobin’s mumbling a soft, “no problem.”Olivia’s laughing as she links her arm though Christen’s, “let’s get you a drink ja?”Christen thinks she’s more than ready for a drink or two, “ja.”Christen is sandwiched between Olivia and Cam at the bar and she’s got her third drink of the night in hand. She’s feeling very pleasantly buzzed, and is absolutely loving the way the alcohol is warming up her blood and relaxing her body.Olivia and Cam are laughing loudly at a joke that Christen wasn’t really paying attention to because Tobin’s got herself bent over the pool table trying to make a shot and Christen doesn’t have the strength not to stare.“Christen?”“I’ll be right back.” Christen says as she pushes herself off the bar, not bothering to look back at Olivia or Cam, and starts making her way to the pool table.“I feel like you’re cheating Tobin!” Meghan exclaims as she eyes the table warily, “right Christen?”Christen holds her hands up in defense (well she holds her one hand up in defense the other one is holding onto her drink) “I literally just got here.”Tobin scoots over a little on the ledge she’s leaning against leaving just barely enough room for Christen to squeeze in, and Christen thinks that her completely sober self might not have wedged herself up against Tobin like this, but she’s not completely sober and the heat of Tobin’s thigh pressed against her own is making her head swim in a very addicting way.“I’m not cheating, she’s just really bad at pool.” Tobin explains as she take a swig of her beer and smiles at Christen.The smile has Christen’s insides fluttering and the weight of her body swaying towards Tobin but the pressure only lasts a second before Tobin’s smirking at her and pushing away from the ledge, “it’s my shot.”Tobin’s just a little cocky and a lot confident (in herself and the effect she has on Christen) and Christen likes it, she does, but just once she would really like to see Tobin a little flustered, slightly red in the cheeks, and tripping over her words.Christen blames her next move on the alcohol as she leans up against the pool table next to Tobin, who’s lining up a shot, “I took your advice.”Tobin looks over her shoulder at Christen, “oh yeah, about?” Christen waits until Tobin pulls back her arm to take her perfectly lined up shot and leans in a little closer, just enough so that Tobin can feel her breath warm against her cheek, “I took a more hands on approach for my stress relief.” Christen leans back now, bringing her drink to her mouth so her tongue can push the straw around her rye and coke before taking a nice long sip.Tobin’s cue collides with the ball way too hard sending it crashing into the edge of the table to bounce wildly over the side landing at Meghan’s feet, “oh yeah?” Tobin squeaks as she looks up at Christen.Christen smiles slowly loving the flush spreading across Tobin’s cheekbones, “yeah.”“Damn Tobin, what the hell was that?” Meghan says as she places the ball back on the table.“Just take your shot Kling, not that it matters I’m still gonna win.” Tobin says a little heatedly as she turns back to Christen, “I’m assuming it went well?” Tobin questions lowly as her eyes travel up and down Christen’s relaxed form.“It did. Well, it did once I landed on some imagery that, worked for me.”Tobin splutters on the beer in her mouth and Christen can’t help but smile in satisfaction, “imagery, like—uh, I mean, what kind, what um, what kind of images?”Christen leans in close and she can see the way Tobin’s chest is rising and falling with every breath, “it’s your shot.”Tobin doesn’t move, just stares up at Christen with rapidly darkening eyes, until the tip of Meghan’s cue pokes into her hip.“Let’s go Heath.”Christen goes to step back but Tobin’s fingers wrap around her wrist, “we’re not done.”Christen’s not exactly sure what she’s gotten herself into because her heart is beating an unsteady rhythm against her rib cage but the flush covering Tobin’s cheeks has her nodding her head up and down as Tobin releases her wrist, “I’ll meet you outside.”Christen just barely feels the uneven cobblestone under her boots—the air cold against her face and slightly sobering in a way that has her questioning what she’s just admitted to Tobin—when she suddenly feels a warm hand splayed against the small of her back steering her towards the small alleyway beside the pub.“Tobin?” Christen’s a little confused as Tobin comes to a stop, “I thought you were going to finish the game.”“It’s finished.”Tobin takes a step forward and Christen takes a step back but when Tobin takes another step forward there’s nowhere for Christen to go as her back presses up against the rough brick wall, “did you, uh, did you win?”Tobin shakes her head back and forth, “thanks for that.”Christen blinks slowly, she knows exactly what Tobin’s referring to, but the way Tobin’s body is all hot and pressed up against her own has Christen’s head swimming, “sorry.”Tobin smiles as her eyes flick down to Christen’s lips then back up, “I don’t think you are.”Christen’s chest heaves because Tobin’s right, she’s not sorry, and if she’s honest with herself she very much enjoys this version of Tobin who’s a little more than worked up with her dark eyes and flushed cheeks, “you’re right, I’m not.”Christen swears she hears Tobin groan before she feels her hand tangling in her hair, cradling the back of her head as the other one applies pressure to her hip. Tobin’s whole body is pressing her up against the wall and Christen thinks it’s a good thing cause she’s pretty sure without the support she’d be melting towards the ground.Tobin’s lips are so soft when they press against Christen’s and it’s such a contrast to everything else that it has Christen moaning into Tobin’s mouth.Christen knows she’s never been kissed like this before, god, it’s never felt anything like this, never had her toes curling and body straining for more, never had her fingers digging into soft skin intent on leaving their mark, never had her tongue teasing and desperate to taste more.It’s a lot and when Tobin breaks the kiss Christen sucks in a deep breath of fresh air and thinks maybe it’s a good thing and they can talk but she’s just barely released a shuddering breath when Tobin’s fingers gently tug on her hair until she’s tilting her head to the side and Tobin’s lips are finding her neck and fuck this is so much worse (so much fucking better.)The way Tobin’s teeth are dragging up along the column of her neck has Christen fighting back these needy little
whimpers that are wanting to fall from her parted lips.Tobin’s lips close around a particularly sensitive patch of skin right below Christen’s ear and her tongue flicks briefly against it before she starts sucking.Christen’s hips buck forward at the sensation and when Tobin slots her thigh between Christen’s and sucks a little harder so Christen’s hips rock forward again but this time against the solid pressure of Tobin’s thigh it has Christen moaning into the cool air of the night.“Tobin...”Tobin’s teeth bite into the lobe of Christen’s ear, “you like this?” Tobin questions as she flexes her thigh, pressing it up more firmly into Christen.Christen’s head falls back against the brick of the wall as her hips thrust down against Tobin’s thigh and there’s no way she can deny it, “yes.”“What else do you like?”Christen can’t think, doesn’t really know anyways, “I don’t know.”“Did you think about me?” Tobin asks hotly against Christen’s ear.“Yes.”“About what you wanted to do to me?”Christen groans at the memory and a little at the way that Tobin is still kissing up and down her neck, “yeah.”“There’s a lot of things I want to do to you Chris—“ Tobin pulls away from Christen’s neck until their eyes meet, “a lot of things I want to do with you.”Christen can feel her insides clench, can feel just how wet she is every time her hips grind down against Tobin’s thigh, and she’s pretty sure she’s never been this turned on in her whole entire life, “Tobin please...”Tobin leans in until their lips are brushing together and Christen can’t help but dart her tongue out to run it against Tobin’s plush bottom lip and it has Tobin pressing forward and kissing her deeply before she’s pulling back, “you taste really good Christen, I think about that a lot, just how good you’d taste—“ Tobin leans back briefly eyes traveling up and down Christen’s body, “everywhere else.”Christen’s body shudders at the thought and the images that immediately spring into her head of just how Tobin would look between her parted thighs.“Will you think about that next time?”Tobin’s questions doesn’t really register with Christen because she’s so utterly overwhelmed with just how wantonly she’s responding to Tobin, “next time?”Tobin flexes her thigh and Christen tries to rub herself down against it but Tobin’s fingers are digging into her hips and holding her still, “yeah Chris, the next time you’re relieving some stress I want you to think about just how much better it’d feel if it was me, if it was my fingers trailing up your thighs, and if it was my tongue circling your clit, can you do that for me?”Christen nods her head because she knows that will be the only fucking thing she’ll be able to think about because it’s all she can think about right now.“Good.” Tobin’s fingers tighten against Christen’s hips and help to rock her forward, down and against her thigh, until Christen’s moaning, “it’s just too bad it won’t be tonight.”“It won’t?” Christen’s more than a little confused because all she can think about is relieving the ache between her thighs that Tobin’s not only caused but worked up into this unbearable feeling where Christen’s not sure if she needs more or if that might make her explode.Tobin laughs and shakes her head no as she takes a step away from Christen leaving her slumped up against the wall, “I don’t think Olivia would be that understanding of a roommate.”The knowledge hits Christen like a bucket of cold water, “oh my god, Tobin—“ Christen looks up and Tobin’s got this wide grin and Christen’s whole plan has just backfired so terribly, “you did this on purpose?”“It’s not nice to tease Christen, and now I’m going to have to listen to Kling gloat about me forfeiting the pool game so—“ Tobin shrugs and Christen’s so worked up she’s not sure whether she’s even angry or not.“Tobin I’m—““Found them! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Olivia exclaims loudly before Kling and Cam and the rest of the girls round the corner and it gives Christen and Tobin just enough time to get themselves straightened out and somewhat presentable, “fun night, ja?” Olivia questions as they make their way up slowly to the sidewalk.They both look at each other and Christen can feel herself flush as she watches Tobin jog ahead to put an end to Meghan’s outlandish story on her big victory and Christen just looks at Olivia who’s smiling at her like a fool, “it was fine.”Olivia raises her eyebrow, “just fine?” Christen nods because it’s hard to focus on anything other than just how wet her damn underwear are and just how totally fucked she is, “yeah, just fine.”“Well that sugmärke—“ Olivia smirks when Christen looks at her confused, “that hickey—“ Olivia says as her finger taps on the side of Christen’s neck, “says the night was more than fine.”Christen flushes as her hand comes up to her neck like her fingers can somehow feel the mark, “Olivia?”“Ja?”Christen can’t help the small smiling tugging at her lips at just how brightly Olivia’s eyes are shining and maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s just this rush of new feelings and new friendships but whatever it is Christen is leaning into it, “it was way better than fine.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Defeated.
Christen feels like that sums up the mood of the household pretty nicely—although she’s pretty sure her mother would call it moping around—everyone’s been holed up in their rooms, only making brief appearances to grab snacks or use the bathroom.
Gotëborg pulled through with a victory at Valhalla last night against the Arsenal Ladies— but it wasn’t enough—a two point differential was needed and they just managed to squeak by with a 1-0 win.
It was a crushing walk off the pitch as their dreams of the Champions League came to a very abrupt end.
Which is why Christen currently feels no guilt as she sits cross legged on her bed with Brown Bear snuggled beside her— chocolate bar within arms reach—and starts up another episode of Pretty Little Liars.
Christen’s been cozied up in bed for at least four episodes worth of indulgent teen drama and so far it’s been the perfect distraction.
So far.
There’s a soft knock on Christen’s door before it slowly creaks open a crack and she can’t see Tobin but she can see a Harry Potter book dangling through the crack so she knows it’s Tobin, “can I come in?”
Tobin’s voice is soft but it’s sure because this has become a
thing
, kind of, and Christen is more than ready for some company, “sure.”
Tobin shuffles into the room towards the bed and Christen watches as a slow smile spreads across her face. Tobin’s nodding towards the spot she normally slides right into but Brown Bear is currently taking up residence there, “umm is this seat taken?”
Christen grabs a hold of Brown Bear, her cheeks burning a little in embarrassment, as she sets him on the end table beside her bed. She
scoots over a little to make room for Tobin, “it’s all yours.”
“What are you watching?” Tobin asks as she flops down on Christen’s bed, book in hand, as she tugs on the throw blanket Christen has over her legs until it’s covering hers too.
Christen scrambles to shut her laptop before Tobin’s
eyes can catch a glimpse of the screen, “nothing.”
“Christen?—“ Tobin cocks an eyebrow as she turns slightly in the bed, her soft brown eyes crinkling at the corners as they settle on Christen’s face, “are you watching porn?”
Christen’s eyes bulge, “Oh my god Tobin—no, no I am not watching....
porn
.” Christen hisses the last word as she opens up her laptop and spins it so Tobin can see, “I’m watching Pretty Little Liars.”
“Christen I’m not going to lie to you—“ Tobin’s eyes leave the screen to slowly meet hers, “it was way less embarrassing when I thought it was porn.”
“Shut up and read your book.” Christen scolds as she swats at Tobin’s shoulder.
“Ouch!” Tobin’s eyes go wide as she drops her book dramatically to the floor.
“You deserved that.” Christen reasons but there’s a glint in Tobin’s eyes that has Christen unfurling her legs and a warmth settling low in her stomach, “Tobin?”
“You know it’s not very nice to hit Chris,” Tobin says slowly as she shoves the blanket off her legs, effectively removing it from Christen’s as well.
Christen’s watching Tobin’s calculated movements, the way her eyes are roving up and down the entirety of her body and it has Christen a little lightheaded, “sorry.”
“Yeah?” Tobin asks softly and Christen’s nodding her head, “will you kiss it better?”
Christen’s teeth sink into her bottom lip as Tobin slowly unzips her hoodie and lets it fall to the floor leaving her kneeling on the bed in low riding joggers and a tank top, and she’s all smooth skin and hollowed collar bones, and the only thing Christen can really do is nod her head.
Tobin’s lazy about it, the way she grabs Christen’s laptop and closes it, taking care to set it squarely on the table, and her pace stays unhurried as she straddles Christen’s thighs, “it hurts right here,” Tobin explains lowly as she sweeps her hair over her right shoulder and runs her finger along the curve of her neck.
Christen swallows thickly as she settles her hands on Tobin’s hips to help steady herself. Christen’s fingers tighten as she leans forward to place a feather light kiss on the delicate skin of Tobin’s shoulder, “better?”
Tobin shakes her head no and pouts and Christen can’t resist (doesn’t want to really) so she’s leans back in, this time a little further up and a lot closer to the curve where Tobin’s neck and shoulder meet and lets her lips linger.
Tobin smells so clean and before Christen can really think too much about it she’s letting her tongue drag across the column of Tobin’s neck.
“
Christen
—“ Tobin’s voice is low and her fingers are tangling in Christen’s hair, “that feels so...” the words stop abruptly as soon as Christen scrapes her teeth along Tobin’s pulse.
Christen’s pretty sure she could get addicted to the taste of Tobin’s skin but before she can really test that theory Tobin’s giving her hair a firm tug and it has Christen groaning into Tobin’s neck unexpectedly, because
god
that felt really good, and it takes her eyes a moment to focus when she finally pulls away enough to look at Tobin.
“I’m going to kiss you Christen.” Tobin says it as a statement but Christen knows it’s question, knows it’s Tobin seeking permission.
“
Please
,” it’s barely a breathless whisper because Christen is still reeling from the feel of her lips pressed against Tobin’s skin but it only seems to spur her on.
Tobin’s movements become so deliberate and the way she slowly rocks forward until Christen can feel her pressed up against every inch of her has Christen whimpering.
Tobin’s hands skim up along her neck until her finger tips are threaded through Christen’s hair and it has Christen’s eyes fluttering closed in anticipation.
Tobin licks along Christen’s bottom lip and Christen strains against Tobin for more but Tobin’s in no hurry as she abandons licking Christen’s bottom lip in favor of trapping it between her teeth and sucking on it gently.
Christen feels like she’s on fire, can’t help but squirm a little under Tobin’s weight, and when Tobin finally licks into her mouth there’s no way Christen can stop from moaning.
It’s languid and soft and it’s driving Christen mad because she’s vibrating and she wants more and she feels like Tobin’s so in control and she just wants Tobin to feel whatever it is that’s coursing through her own veins.
Tobin’s hand is moving slowly now, leaving Christen’s neck in favor of traveling under Christen’s sweatshirt, and as soon as she comes in contact with the bare skin of Christen’s abdomen it has Christen mewling into her mouth.
Tobin leans back slightly and Christen groans at the lack of contact but Tobin still has her thumb rubbing lazy circles into the skin of Christen’s hip and when Christen finally opens her eyes the hungry way Tobin’s staring down at her seems to be working her up just as fast as the kiss was.
There’s a beat where they’re just staring at each other, chests heaving, before Tobin leans forward and Christen thinks she’s going to kiss her again but instead she feels Tobin’s breath hot against her cheek, “can you be quiet?” Tobin asks in a hushed voice, nodding towards Christen’s shared wall with Meghan, as she drags her thumb along Christen’s kiss swollen bottom lip.
Christen’s tongue darts out to follow its path, sliding slow across her bottom lip until it accidentally swipes against the pad of Tobin’s thumb.
The way Tobin’s hips push down harder into hers at the unintentional action has Christen wondering what would happen if she put some purpose behind it.
So when Tobin’s thumb stays where it is—resting against her bottom lip—Christen takes full advantage. Her eyes meet Tobin’s as her fingers circle around Tobin’s wrist, holding it in place, and Christen’s tongue comes out to slowly lick against the tip of Tobin’s thumb.
Tobin groans, “fuck, Christen—“
Christen doesn’t stop, just focuses on the way Tobin’s eyes get hooded and dark as she watches her do it again—a slow flick of her tongue along the pad of Tobin’s thumb—until she can feel the weight of Tobin’s hips rocking down against hers in a steady rhythm that her body picks up all too easily.
Tobin’s lips are on hers again and Christen’s never felt this breathless and it has a lot to do with the way Tobin’s hand is slowly sliding up along the curve of her rib cage until she’s cupping Christen’s breast.
Christen breaks the kiss as her head tips back—thudding lightly against the wall—and it isn’t until Tobin’s thumb swipes across her hardened nipple that Christen realizes exactly where this is heading.
“Tobin wait—“ it’s a struggle to get the words out because Christen’s trying to catch her breath.
Tobin stills immediately, “do you want to stop?”
Christen shakes her head back and forth, “No, I really want this Tobin, it’s just, I mean, I’ve never—“
“Been with a woman.”
“I mean yes, but technically—“ Christen tries to tamp down the heat blooming across her cheekbones because she’s not embarrassed, “I’ve never been with anyone.”
Tobin’s eyes go wide, “you’ve
never
—“
Christen doesn’t let her finish, “no.”
“With
anyone
?”
Christen almost wants to laugh at the comical way Tobin’s eyes widen, “I have not.”
“Oh okay—“ Tobin rocks back slightly, hands falling from Christen’s shirt to steady herself against the mattress, “I just—“
Christen’s insecurities settle heavy against her chest as she drops her head breaking off eye contact with Tobin, “you don’t want to do this anymore.”
“What? No, Christen?—“ Tobin’s hands are soft against Christen’s cheeks, applying pressure until Christen’s eyes meet her again, “I want this; with you, a lot.”
“Then why are we stopping?” Christen questions as she tries to coax Tobin back into touching her in any capacity.
Tobin chuckles as she wraps her fingers around Christen’s wrists to halt their movements, “because it’s your first time Chris.”
“So?”
Tobin stares at Christen, eyes taking in her disheveled appearance, and it has her licking her lips and almost forgetting why they need to wait, “it should be special.”
Christen fights the urge to roll her eyes, “this isn’t high school Tobin.”
Tobin’s smile is slow and the way her eyes darken have Christen shifting slightly beneath her weight, “you’re right Chris this isn’t high school—“ Tobin leans in until her lips are pressed against the shell of Christen’s ear, “so believe me when I tell you, we’re going to wait until we have this house to ourselves, because when I’m between your thighs licking you until you cum I want to be able to hear exactly how much you’re enjoying it.”
Christen can’t hold back the moan that falls from her lips or fight off the way her thighs rub together for any kind of friction, “
Tobin
...”
Tobin presses a soft kiss against Christen’s lips before she hoists herself up and off of Christen, grabbing her hoodie and book off the floor, before she makes her way to the door stopping to look over at Christen with hooded eyes, “think about that tonight?”
Christen knows exactly what Tobin’s asking her to do, “I will.”
“Me too.”
Christen can feel herself clenching around nothing at the thought of Tobin going back to her room to fuck herself—to the thought of fucking her—and it has Christen stifling a groan as her fingers slide through her wetness to circle her clit.
And Christen’s pretty sure she’s not going to survive this.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s early and dark and gloomy and the energy radiating off of Meghan is just a little too much to handle before a strong cup of coffee (at least Christen thinks so.)
Last week Olivia invited Meghan to come watch a FFC Frankfurt game with the promise of an introduction to her friend Ana (who plays for Frankfurt) and the lure of some good German beer; it was a pretty easy sell.
“Hug me!” Meghan shouts from her spot at the front door beside a barely awake Olivia and a much too big suitcase for a weekend trip, “the next time you see me I might be all girlfriended up!”
Tobin laughs as she squeezes Meghan tight, “try not being quite so....you, I think that might help.”
“Funny—“ Meghan says as she gives Tobin a shove, “outta my way Heath and let me hug my favorite roommate.”
Christen smiles as she side steps a pouting Tobin and wraps Meghan up in a hug, “have a safe trip and enjoy the game.”
Olivia yawns dramatically which has everyone laughing, “sorry, we need to stop for coffee.”
Meghan’s pushing past Olivia with her suitcase and heading out to the car, she throws a quick over-the-shoulder wave to the girls still crowded in the doorway, “bye girlies!”
They watch Meghan drag the suitcase across the driveway and they also watch the struggle that ensues as she tries to lift it into the trunk; finally succeeding on her the third attempt.
“Have fun Olivia, keep an eye on Kling!” Tobin says as she heads back to her bedroom ready to crawl right back under the covers.
Olivia waits until the bedroom door is almost shut before she smiles slyly at Christen, “you’re welcome.”
Christen’s brows draw together in confusion as she looks at Olivia, “for?”
Olivia sweeps her hand out across the empty-ness of the living room, “this.”
“Our living room?” Christen asks with a furrowed brow.
Olivia huffs as she gives Christen’s shoulder a shove, “no, not the empty living room— you’re welcome for the fact that you and Tobin have the whole entire house to yourselves for the weekend.”
“What—I mean, we, why ummm—“ Christen starts stuttering as her heart kicks into overdrive, “why would that matter?”
Olivia laughs deeply and raises a brow, “really?”
Christen takes a slow breath because she knows why it matters, and she definitely knows Olivia knows why it matters, “it’s just—“ Christen’s eyes quickly dart back to Tobin’s door and then back to Olivia’s smiling face, “I’m nervous.”
“That’s okay.” Olivia says with a shake of her head, “fjärilar i magen Chris, it’s nothing to be scared of.”
Christen nods her head slowly, “thanks Olivia.”
“No problem—“ Olivia says wrapping Chris up in a quick hug, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, ja?”
Christen watches as Olivia jogs down the steps laughing the whole way and it kind of makes her wonder if there’s anything Olivia wouldn’t do.
“Christen?”
Christen jumps at the sound of Tobin’s voice so close behind her, “Jesus Tobin, how long have you been standing there?”
Tobin looks at her quizzically, “not long, can I ask you something?”
Christen nods her head as she closes the door, “sure.”
“Umm since we have the house to ourselves, I was wondering, you know—“ Tobin’s twisting the drawstrings on her hoodie around her fingers as she looks at Christen, “if maybe, I mean—do you wanna have dinner with me?”
Christen fights the smile that’s tugging at her lips because despite her own nerves, seeing this soft, tripping over her words, blushing Tobin is making her melt a little, “Are you asking me out on a date?”
Tobin tilts her head to the side, “sort of—“ she takes a slow step forward and arches a brow as she eyes Christen, “I’m asking you in on a date.”
“In on a date?” Christen questions quietly as Tobin takes another step forward until Christen can feel the warmth of her body.
Tobin nods, “I want—“ Christen can feel Tobin leaning in until their lips are practically touching, “to stay in with you; tonight.”
Christen watches the way Tobin’s eyes grow darker and it has her nodding her head, “yeah.”
“So it’s a date.”
Christen’s heart skips a beat, “it’s a date.”
//
Christen spends most of Saturday afternoon with Cam.
First it’s fika at a very Central Perk-ish coffee house with huge comfortable couches, wooden coffee tables littered with books, and a very welcoming vibe.
About halfway through their coffees the rain starts and Christen eyes the window warily, “you still wanna go shopping?”
Cam laughs, “it’s just a little rain Chris.”
Christen sips her coffee and shudders slightly at the thought of having to go outside, “I miss the sun.”
Cam just laughs as she stands up from the couch, “you’ll be fine.”
And Cam’s right, Christen is fine—more than a few Kroner poorer by the time they’re done—but definitely fine.
Cam’s in line (a long ass line) grabbing some dinner to go and Christen finds herself eyeing the lingerie store across the food court; again.
Christen’s been having an internal debate their whole shopping trip on whether she should buy something or not and it’s now or never, “I’ll be right back Cam.”
“Cool.” Cam says without even looking up from her phone.
Christen breathes a sigh of relief at Cam’s utter disinterest as she makes her way over to the store.
It’s a lot of styles, in every color, some of them look like they’d take at least two people to get you dressed in, and Christen’s almost positive she’s in a little over her head.
“Wow—“ Christen whispers to herself as she walks away from a rack that she’s pretty sure contains the store’s most risqué collection.
She’s just about to give up when a rack in the far corner of the store catches her eye. She walks over slowly not really wanting to get her hopes up.
Christen plucks one of the sets from the rack to inspect it more closely and she thinks it’s actually pretty perfect because it may not be the sexiest set in the store but she knows she’ll be comfortable in it.
It’s a black lace set that has a sheer, deep cut, bralette top, and the bottoms are bikini cut and not quite as sheer, “I think you’re the one.”
“Christen Press, lingerie shopping without my guidance?” Cam scolds as she pops out from behind the rack.
“Jesus Christ Cam where’d you come from—“ Christen swears she has to swallow her heart back down, “you need to be taller. A rack should not be able to conceal you.”
“There’s not enough short jokes in the world to deflect the fact that you’re buying lingerie Chris.” Cam says with a wicked smile, “so?”
“So?” Christen says with feigned ignorance as she tries to put the set back on to the rack.
“No, no, no—“ Cam says as she snatches the set from Christen’s hands, “this is hot and whoever you’re going to be wearing it for is going to love it. You’re buying this.”
Christen can feel her cheeks flaming as Cam forces the hanger back into her hand, “it’s not too—“ Christen’s eyes meet Cam’s, “basic?”
Cam starts laughing, “have you seen you?”
Christen’s brows knit together as she looks down at her friend, “what?”
“Christen trust me when I say this, it is not going to matter in the least what you’re wearing—“ Cam flicks the hanger clutched in Christen’s hands with her fingers, “But this little number will make whoever you’re with weak in the knees.”
Christen takes a deep breath, “okay,” and starts marching to the sales counter forcing Cam to jog to catch up.
“So—“ Cam says as the cashier rings up Christen and packs up her purchase, “who?”
Christen grabs her bag and smiles politely at the cashier, “tack.” It isn’t until they’re out into the mall that she turns to Cam, “who what?”
Cam rolls her eyes, “who are you planning to make weak in the knees Press?”
“Oh that—“ Christen says stalling as they jacket up and brace themselves to run across the parking lot to the car. It’s not until they’re safely in the confines of the car that Cam flips back her hood and stares at Christen expectantly, “well, I mean—“
Cam smiles softly and takes pity on her friend and Christen’s pretty sure she already knows, “doesn’t matter, but when you’re ready I expect details.”
Christen buckles herself in, exhaling a sigh of relief, “I can do that.”
“I look forward to it.” Cam says with a smile that reminds Christen a little too much of the Cheshire Cat.
All in all it’s a very relaxing day—aside from the miserable weather—and Christen hopes it’s laying the foundation to keep her nerves at bay.
It’s not that she doesn’t want to have sex with Tobin—Christen clutches her lingerie bag at the thought—in fact it’s so far in the opposite direction that she’s pretty scared of the very real possibility of disappointing Tobin with her lack of experience.
Christen’s completely wrapped up in her thoughts when Cam pulls up as close to the porch as she can, coming to a stop on an angle to avoid the huge ass puddle that’s forming in front of the steps.
“Thanks for the ride Cam, promise me you’ll drive safe?” Christen says as she looks out the windshield at the quickly worsening storm.
“I will—”Cam says as she unlocks the door, “stop stalling and get out Chris.”
Christen flips her hood up and grabs her bags, taking a second to look over her shoulder and frown at Cam, “California would never do this to me.”
“Get out!” Cam says trying not to laugh as Christen swings open the door and darts out towards the porch, “close the door Press!”
Christen stops when she’s safely under the protection of their roofed porch, “I’m too far—“ Christen shouts, “just, you know—“ she motions with her hand, “just crawl over Cam!”
Christen watches as Cam unbuckles herself to crawl over the console and fight the door shut against the wind.
When Cam gets safely buckled back into the seat she reverses the car slightly and undoes the window, “you’re the worst! Bye!”
Christen starts laughing and is still laughing when she unlocks the front door and steps into the house.
Christen sets down her bags, strips off her drenched coat taking care to
hang it on the hook, thenworks her feet out of her wet shoes. The first thing she notices is just how cold the house is, “Tobin?”
Tobin turns her head away from the pile of dishes she’s washing in the sink, “yeah?”
“Why’s it so cold in here?” Christen asks as she carries her bags into her bedroom, quickly stripping out of her damp clothes and throwing on some comfy sweats.
“Ummm I had the windows open, it smells nice though right?” Tobin questions when Christen emerges from her room.
Christen sniffs the air as she walks back out into the living room, “I mean, did you—“ Christen sees her two sandalwood candles sitting on the coffee table, “you lit candles?”
“Romantic right?” Tobin says as she wipes her hands off on the dish towel looking over her shoulder at Christen.
Christen’s cheeks flush slightly, “I mean—“
Tobin laughs, “it was more out of necessity, to cover the smell of the fire.”
“What?! What fire?” Christen asks a little alarmed.
“It was small, don’t worry—“ Tobin says as she walks over to where Christen’s standing in the living room, “I hope you’re okay with a cheese and crackers platter for dinner?”
Christen looks at Tobin quizzically, “because?”
“Because—“ Tobin says with a sheepish smile and cheeks flushing in embarrassment, “the pasta I was cooking started a fire.”
Christen has to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing, it takes a second to compose herself because a slightly flustered Tobin is quite the sight, “the pasta started the fire or you cooking the pasta started the fire?”
“I mean if we’re gonna get technical—“ Tobin starts as she flops down onto the couch, “the stove started it.”
Christen does laugh now, “okay, so the stove started it when—?”
Tobin closes her eyes and leans her head back against the couch, “the stove started it when I dropped an uncooked noodle under the burner.”
Christen places her hand on Tobin’s thigh and she’s pretty sure she falls a little more for Tobin in this moment, “I love cheese and crackers.”
“And champagne?” Tobin asks hopefully as she sits up a little straighter.
“You got us champagne?”
Tobin nods her head and Christen’s fingers dig a little tighter into the material of Tobin’s joggers, “yeah I like—“
There’s a huge clap of thunder that interrupts Christen and seconds later all the lights in the house flicker once then go out completely leaving them with just the light of the candles.
“Tobin?”
“Maybe it’ll come back on.” Tobin says with a shrug but the minutes pass by and not even a flicker and then the rain starts to fall harder, “or maybe not.”
“Do you have any other candles?” Christen asks when Tobin starts to stand.
Tobin smiles down at Christen shaking her head back and forth, “do you?”
“I do but—“ Christen hesitates a little as she stands, grabbing one of the candles off the table to help light the way a bit.
“But?”
“They’re not complimentary scents.” Tobin’s laugh is deep and it has Christen scowling at her as they make their way to her room, “what?”
“Complimentary scents? You’re one of a kind Chris.”
Christen sets the candle down on her dresser as she turns to face Tobin, “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.”
Tobin spins quickly until Christen’s back is pressed into the edge of the dresser. She dips her fingers into the neck of Christen’s sweater and tugs gently and Christen swears she can already taste Tobin’s lips, “it’s a compliment.”
Christen’s just about to lean forward when Tobin steps back and it leaves her a little unsteady.
“So the candles?” Tobin asks with a lopsided smirk, “also blankets.”
Christen pushes herself away from the dresser, “blankets?”
“Candlelight picnic in the living room?”
Christen melts, “yeah I have extra blankets.”
“Cool.”
It only takes a couple minutes to gather the stuff they need and then Tobin’s setting them up on the living room floor with probably one too many blankets and just as many pillows.
“Comfy?” Tobin asks as she settles down in front of the coffee table with their food and the bottle of champagne.
“Very.” Christen says as she settles her back against the couch, “glasses?”
“Shit!” Tobin says as she hops up and runs to the kitchen grabbing two glasses before rushing back and plopping down beside Christen, “my bad, here we go.”
Christen smiles as she reaches for some cheese as Tobin pops the champagne, “this is good!” Christen exclaims as she grabs another piece.
“Thanks I picked it out myself—“ Tobin says smiling, “well, almost, I mean Perry helped me.”
Christen takes the glass of champagne from Tobin and takes a small sip, “Perry?”
“My sister.” Tobin explains as she snags a cracker from the plate.
“You have a sister?” Christen asks curiously, realizing there’s probably quite a bit she doesn’t know about Tobin.
“I have two sisters and a brother.” Tobin says looking at Christen, “and I know you have at least one sister.”
“Two. Channing, who you’ve kind of met, and Tyler.”
“Cool—“ Tobin takes a sip of her drink and Christen watches as her eyes go wide, “wanna play twenty questions?”
Christen can’t think of anything she’d rather be doing, “sounds fun.”
“Okay, what do you miss most about California?”
“Easy, hands down the weather.” Christen leans forward and grabs a cracker, “I yearn for the sunshine, oh also In-N-Out.”
“Not surprising.”
“My turn—“Christen says turning slightly to face Tobin, “if not soccer, what would you be doing right now?”
“It will always be soccer but if soccer didn’t exist definitely surfing.”
“Really?” Christen asks genuinely surprised.
“Mhmm, oh, or a farmer that’d be dope. Okaaaay—“ Tobin says shifting a little closer to Christen, “this one’s important, dogs or cats.”
“Oh my god dogs—“ Christen can’t stop the smile from spreading across her face, “I swear sometimes I think life is just better if you’re a dog.”
Tobin’s nodding along and before Christen knows it the food is all eaten and they’re both on their second glass of champagne, and the questions have taken a slight turn.
“Best kiss?” Tobin asks lowly as her eyes study the side of Christen’s face.
Christen can feel her cheeks heating as she looks down into her glass, “you know it’s you.”
Christen can feel Tobin shifting against her side and when she looks up Tobin’s kneeling beside her, “and what would you do if I kissed you right now.”
Christen swallows thickly because the way Tobin looks in the candle light hovering above her is a little too much and all Christen wants is to let Tobin kiss her, “it’s actually my question right now; according to the rules.”
Tobin smiles, “stickler for the rules.”
Tobin’s staring at Christen’s lips and Christen can’t concentrate on anything that isn’t exactly what it’s going to feel like to kiss Tobin again, “ummm, I—“
Christen can’t string any words together because Tobin’s straddling her hips now, bracing her hands on the couch cushions behind Christen’s head, and slowly settling herself down, “you could ask me what I want to do to you right now.”
Christen feels her body reacting to Tobin’s words, “yes.”
Tobin chuckles and leans in until her lips are against the shell of Christen’s ear, “you have to ask me Chris.”
Christen’s fingers fist into the material of Tobin’s sweatshirt, dipping slightly under the neckline, and she has to fight her hips from rolling up into Tobin’s, “what do you—“ Christen’s head tips back when she feels Tobin’s lips press against the skin just below her ear, “fuck Tobin, what do you— what do you want to do to me?”
Tobin drags her lips along Christen’s jaw, pressing a soft kiss to her chin, stopping just before her lips, “kiss you.”
Christen’s eyes flutter closed in anticipation and she can feel Tobin’s breath hot against her lips but nothing happens so Christen opens her eyes to look up into Tobin’s smiling face, “Tobin?”“It’s actually my question, according to the rules.” Christen knows this is it, knows that once they start there’ll be no interruptions, knows that this is Tobin seeking permission, “can I kiss you?”
Christen is nodding and can feel the way Tobin’s hips roll down against her own and it makes thinking and talking hard but she manages to get out a whispered, “yes.”
—and Christen’s thankful she doesn’t have to wait any longer because Tobin’s lips are sliding soft against her own and on the first pass of Tobin’s tongue across her bottom lip Christen is parting them for more.
Her fingers tighten in the neck of Tobin’s sweater and she can’t help but whimper into her mouth when their tongues slide against each other for the first time.
It starts slow with the way Tobin’s licking into her mouth, but with every soft moan that falls from Christen’s lips Tobin’s hips grind down against her own just a little harder, and a little faster, until Christen’s completely breathless.
Tobin pulls away slowly and Christen can’t help but follow and it has Tobin chuckling against her lips, “bedroom?”
Christen nods once and Tobin’s hopping off of her and into a standing position, outstretching her hands to help Christen up, before grabbing a candle and leading the way into Christen’s bedroom.
Christen doesn’t even have time to be nervous because the candle is casting a soft glow from the dresser and Tobin’s pressing up against her until Christen can feel the mattress at the backs of her legs.
“You’re sure?” Tobin’s voice is low and her eyes are dark on Christen’s.
Christen’s never been more sure of anything and it feels like growth and it feels like she’s finally getting to know herself, “I’m sure Tobin.”
Christen can’t believe how good it feels when Tobin presses her down into the mattress, the weight of her body hot and heavy settling against her own, but there’s too many clothes and Christen’s fingers scrabble against the hem of Tobin’s sweatshirt, “off, please.”
Tobin leans forward and kisses Christen, tongue sweeping into her mouth, then licking against her bottom lip before she rocks back and strips off not only her sweatshirt but her t-shirt too and she’s left there kneeling between Christen’s bent legs in her low riding joggers and a thin sports bra that shows the hardened peaks of her nipples and has Christen’s mouth watering for something she’s never had before.
“You’re allowed to touch me.” Tobin says as she watches Christen watching her.
Christen swallows thickly as she sits up a little and reaches her hands out to place them gently against Tobin’s hips, the journey is slow as Christen’s fingers travel up against Tobin’s abs and the way Tobin shudders under her touch has Christen wanting to squeeze her thighs together.
Tobin’s leaning into her a little more as Christen skims her hands up along Tobin’s ribs until they’re just about at her breasts, “can I?”
Christen watches as Tobin bites down into her bottom lip and nods, eyes darting down to watch as Christen slowly moves her hands up until they’re cupping her, just enough so that Christen’s
thumbs can swipe lazily back and forth against Tobin’s nipples.
“Fuck Chris—“ Tobin sways forward until her lips are almost against Christen’s and her fingers are pulling at her sweatshirt, “your turn.”
Christen complies and raises her arms so Tobin can tug her sweatshirt off and it isn’t until Tobin’s tossing her t-shirt to the floor that it hits Christen, “Tobin wait.”
Tobin’s slow to face Christen, “too much?”
Christen shakes her head, “no it’s just I—“ Christen knows it shouldn’t make her blush seeing as they both knew this was what they wanted but there’s still a heat flushing her cheeks at the thought, “I bought, something specific, to, you know, wear tonight.”
“You bought lingerie?” Tobin’s voice sounds strangled.
Christen avoids Tobin’s eyes but nods her head, “yeah.”
Tobin’s hand is gentle against her cheek as she tilts Christen’s face to look at her, “I’m going to be honest with you Christen, I’m not going to last if I watch you change into lingerie for me.”
Christen nods and Tobin’s leaning her down against the mattress, lips dragging along her shoulder and up her neck, until they’re at the shell of Christen’s ear, “wear it for me next time?”
Christen’s hips rock up into Tobin at the request, “next time.”
Tobin’s pace is maddening, and Christen swears she’s doing it on purpose, taking her time kissing down along the swell of her breasts until Christen is thrusting her chest up in hopes that she’ll take a hint (but she doesn’t).
“Tobin please?” Christen whimpers as Tobin mouths at her nipple through her bra.
“Please what?” Tobin asks with an innocence that is belied by the way her tongue is teasing Christen’s nipple through the fabric.
“Take it off Tobin.” Christen’s arching her back up off the bed so Tobin can unhook her bra and toss it to the floor.
Christen’s never been this exposed with anybody— never wanted to be—and god she thought she’d feel embarrassed but all she can think of is just how badly she wants to feel Tobin’s tongue against her nipples.
But Tobin’s pace stays unhurried as her hands cup Christen’s bare breasts, thumbs passing back and forth across Christen’s peaked nipples until she thinks she can’t take anymore, and then Tobin’s leaning down and capturing one between her lips and slowly lapping at it with the flat of her tongue and all Christen wants is more.
Her fingers thread through Tobin’s hair holding her in place and Christen’s hips are rocking up against the air until Tobin slots her thigh between hers and as soon as Christen makes contact with the solid muscle of Tobin’s thigh it has her tilting her head back into the pillows and moaning lowly, “oh fuck.”
Tobin pulls away from Christen’s nipple and it has Christen tugging at her hair lightly to try and coax her back but it doesn’t work and Tobin’s hovering over her looking down at her with these hungry, hooded eyes, “I need to taste you Chris—“
Christen can’t stop her hips from thrusting up against Tobin’s thigh at what exactly is going to happen next, something she’s definitely thought about, a thought she’s definitely gotten herself off to, “please Tobin, I need—“
Christen knows Tobin already knows what she needs because she’s kissing down Christen’s ribs as her fingers pull at the drawstring of her joggers, “up.”
Christen obeys immediately, lifting her hips as Tobin tugs her pants down and off her legs. Christen tries not to squirm but it’s so fucking hard when Tobin’s lips are dragging up the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.
Christen feels Tobin’s fingers dig into the muscles of her thighs as she settles her body down between them and Christen’s eyes slam shut as Tobin mouths at the wetness that has soaked through her underwear.
“Oh my god...” it’s breathless and whispered into the air as Christen’s hips pick up a rhythm rocking up and against Tobin’s waiting tongue.
Christen feels a pressure against her hip bones and realizes that Tobin’s hands are pinning her to the mattress and it has her propping herself up on her elbows to meet Tobin’s eyes, “can I take them off Chris?”
Christen doesn’t hesitate, just lifts her hips and lets Tobin drag them down her legs, and Christen knows without a doubt she’s never been this wet before.
“Fuck Chris—“ Tobin doesn’t wait, just leans right back down and licks up along the crease of Christen’s thigh.
Tobin’s slow and gentle and with every swipe of her tongue she’s getting closer and closer to where Christen is literally aching, “Tobin please, I—god this feels—“
Christen’s words devolve into the filthiest moan she’s ever heard as Tobin licks the entire length of her slit before stopping and slowly circling her clit.
Tobin does it again and Christen’s fingers tighten in the rumpled sheets on the bed.
And again and it has Christen moaning Tobin’s name and rocking shamelessly against her tongue.
“I’m so close, Tobin—I just—“ Christen can’t articulate what she wants but it doesn’t seem to matter.
Because Tobin’s pulling back and whispering against Christen’s thigh, “can I—“ and Christen can feel Tobin’s finger circling her entrance, “I want to feel you Chris.”
Christen can feel her insides already clenching at the thought of Tobin being inside her, “just go slow.”
Tobin licks against Christen’s clit a few times until Christen’s thrusting against her mouth again and then she slowly slides one finger in and curls it and Christen swears she sees stars.
Fuck it feels good, so much better than thinking about Tobin and doing this to herself, and god she’s so close, can feel her walls fluttering around Tobin’s finger.
Christen’s teetering on the edge when Tobin snakes her hand up along her stomach, higher and higher, until she’s pinching at her nipple.
And it only takes Tobin’s tongue flicking at Christen’s clit to have her tumbling right over that edge.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, Tobin...”
Tobin doesn’t let up, not until Christen is shuddering beneath her, “fuck Christen, you’re so sexy.”
Tobin drapes herself atop of Christen, and moans into her mouth when Christen leans in and kisses her wetness from Tobin’s lips.
Christen likes it; likes the way she tastes on Tobin’s lips and she likes the way it’s making these soft little sounds fall from Tobin’s lips and she really likes the way it has Tobin rutting against her hip bone for any kind of friction.
“Can I—?” Christen starts to ask against Tobin’s lips but Tobin cuts her off before she can even ask.
“Anything—“ Tobin groans against the curve of Christen’s neck, “anything you want Chris, please.”
Christen knows that this is going to be addicting.
That the sound of Tobin’s voice like this, all breathy and low and the knowledge that she’s responsible for making Tobin sound like that; definitely addicting.
The way Tobin looks utterly debauched, wavy hair over her shoulder, eyes dark and hooded, her full lips parted, the jut of her hip bones above the waistband of her joggers, and her hardened nipples under the fabric of her bra; so addicting.
And when Christen slides her hand down the front of Tobin’s joggers and into her underwear and it has her thighs falling open and a wetness coating Christen’s fingers Christen most definitely knows she’s already addicted.
“Christen—“ Tobin’s teeth are scraping along her neck and Christen’s fingers are taking their time exploring.
Tobin’s so wet and she feels so good and Christen knows she’s close already, can feel it in the way her hips keep chasing her fingers and pushing up for more pressure.
“Can I, ummm—“ Christen fumbles for her words because Tobin’s still grinding against her fingers, “your pants Tobin.”
Tobin struggles to get them off quickly and manages to dislodge Christen’s hand from her underwear and Christen can’t stop looking at the way Tobin’s wetness coats her fingers.
“Chris?” Christen brings her fingers to her mouth and slowly licks at them until all she can taste is Tobin, “ohh fuck Chris.”
“I want more.” Christen feels bold with the taste of Tobin on her tongue.
Tobin complies immediately, rolling on her back and letting Christen have free reign of her body.
Christen has one destination in mind and doesn’t have quite the patience Tobin does so she’s kneeling between Tobin’s thighs and tugging at her underwear until they’re dangling from an ankle, and then she’s licking against Tobin’s opening and moaning against her sensitive flesh.
“Christen, I’m so close— I’m not gonna, oh fuck—“ Christen licks a little more deeply at Tobin’s opening, tongue slipping inside, “I’m not gonna last.”
Christen doesn’t want her to last, she wants to hear Tobin cum and she wants to taste her against her tongue, so Christen keeps licking and Tobin’s right because it doesn’t take much longer.
She’s breathless underneath Christen, hips still jerking from the aftershocks, “god Christen, you’re sure that was your first time?”
Christen smiles as she crawls up Tobin’s body, “very sure.”
“Fuck.” Tobin laughs weakly towards the ceiling as Christen settles in beside her.
“You taste good.” Christen whispers directly into Tobin’s ear and she revels in the way Tobin’s whole body reacts.
“Christen—“ Tobin turns her head until their lips meet, and it’s tongues licking against lips, and it’s only serving to work them both up all over again, “so about that lingerie?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The sun’s bright behind Christen’s closed eyelids, almost too bright, and it has the panic rising in her chest as her eyes fly open.
—but it only lasts for a moment.
“Chill Chris, you’re not late for anything.” Tobin grumbles in a voice that’s scratchy and rough from sleep.
Christen can’t help but smile as she slowly turns onto her side.
She is so not a ‘stay caught up in the moment’ kind of person—normally she’s a ‘miss the moment you’re in, planning for the next moment’ kind of person—but the way Tobin’s arm now lies heavy against the curve of her waist anchors her in a way she’s never been before.
“Morning.” Christen whispers, her voice is low, but it has a sort of shyness to it, a nervousness that conveys just how brand new this all is to her.
—but Tobin is soft.
Soft in the way she smiles, and soft in the way her eyes slowly flutter open, and so soft in the way she sneaks her fingers under the hem of Christen’s oversized sleep shirt and presses them gently into the skin before she slowly leans in, “g’morning Chris.”
Christen melts and can’t help the way her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she takes in Tobin’s tousled hair and sleepy smile, “I don’t know how to do this.”
“Huh?” Tobin’s eyebrows draw together until a little crinkle forms between them, “do what?”
“This—“ Christen says looking down to where Tobin’s arm is holding them together and then back up to her eyes as she whispers, “you know, the morning after stuff.”
Tobin laughs, deep and full, as she presses Christen down into the mattress and settles herself between her parted thighs, “the morning after?”
Christen nods her head and tries not to squirm at all the ways their bodies are connected right now.
Tobin smiles, “morning after what Chris?” and it has Christen blushing and trying to hide her face in the pillow but that only makes it worse because Tobin starts slowly kissing up her neck until her teeth are scraping at the lobe of Christen’s ear, “you don’t know how to do the morning after a thunderstorm?”
Christen goes to shake her head no but Tobin has started sucking on the skin right under her ear and movement seems impossible and her voice is breathy and she can feel Tobin’s smile when she whispers, “no.”
“Oh, you mean the morning after—“ Tobin pulls away to stare down at Christen with a smirk, “I found out you’re so persnickety that we couldn’t light two different scented candles in the same room? Even though we were without electricity?”
Christen fights back a smile at Tobin’s joke and can feel the shyness and nerves fading away as the need to tease Tobin back takes over, “no I’m talking about—“ Christen slides her hand up to the back of Tobin’s neck so she can gently pull her down until their lips are almost touching, “the morning after you came against my tongue.”
Tobin’s breath comes out in a groan against Christen’s lips as her hips roll down slowly and the motion has Christen licking into Tobin’s mouth.
—and maybe Christen does have a pretty good handle on this morning after thing after all.
It starts gentle but the way Tobin’s tongue slides against Christen’s in perfect rhythm with the motion of her hips has a heat building low in Christen’s stomach.
There’s an ache forming and Christen’s fingers are searching for any kind of bare skin they can find. They slide slow up Tobin’s bare thighs until they’re digging into the curve of her ass, helping to pull her down in a more solid way against Christen’s center.
It feels good.
(god, it feels so good.)
—but then Tobin’s pulling away and Christen is following, reluctant to let her go, but Tobin’s chuckling as she thrusts Christen’s phone at her, “it won’t stop buzzing.”
“Oh.” Christen fumbles a little trying to get it unlocked and when she finally does the dread sets in, “shit.”
[your favorite Swede]
We just landed.
9:47am
Got our bags
heading to the
10:31am
car.
Christen?
10:32am
“Oh my god Tobin!” Christen whispers in horror as she continues to read the barrage of texts from Olivia.
Please tell me
you and Tobin
10:32am
are decent.
Okay we’re
stopping for
10:50am
coffee and I can’t
stall any longer ja?
Tobin rocks back a bit so she’s sitting on her legs, “what’s up?”
Seriously, Kling and
I will be walking
through the door
11:20am
any minute.
Oh my god, I can’t
believe you made
me fly Kling to
Germany so you
11:21am
could get some only
to have us walk in on
you.
This is going to be
11:22am
so good.
Christen tosses her phone onto the mattress as she hops out of bed, “they’re coming home!”
“Huh?” Tobin says as she watches Christen turn into a human tornado, “oh Kling and Olivia?”
Christen stills and nods, “oh my god Tobin we never cleaned up the living room—“
“So?” Tobin shrugs as she flops back onto the bed, “we’ll just clean it later, when are they supposed to get here?”
Christen quickly pulls on some shorts from the floor and grabs the sweatshirt laying beside them and tosses it at Tobin, “here get dressed they’re gonna be here—“
“Honeys I’m home!!!” the sound of the screen door creeks as Kling’s voice rings through the small house.
“Fuck.” Christen’s eyes go wide with panic and she watches Tobin hop off the bed, scrambling to get the sweatshirt on, “Tobin, what the hell are we supposed to do?”
“Huh?” Tobin’s head is stuck halfway through the opening of the sweatshirt and it’s pulling her T-shirt up and it shouldn’t be distracting Christen.
—but it is.
Christen takes a few quick strides to Tobin and helps her pull the sweatshirt all the way down, letting her fingers linger a second too long on the soft skin of Tobin’s hip before she tugs on the sweatshirt.
Tobin smiles, leans in quick, and kisses Christen hard on the mouth before leaning back, “thanks.”
“What do we do?”
Tobin laughs, “go say hi?”
Christen’s eyes go wide, “we go say hi?—“ Tobin nods and Christen has to sigh, “Tobin, we go say hi, both coming out of my room in the middle of the day—“
“It’s not even noon yet.”
“In our pajamas?”
Tobin shrugs, “what’s the alternative?” and Christen doesn’t know, probably because there isn’t one, “I mean maybe she won’t even notice, it is Kling.”
Christen tries to be a positive person, really puts that effort in every day, but she’s not stupid and she knows that if Kling doesn’t notice that Olivia is most definitely going to point it out to her.
—and that’s exactly what happens.
Everyone has hugged and Kling has just finished a story about their weekend adventures when Christen notices this look on Olivia’s face.
“How was your weekend?” Kling asks earnestly as she eyes her two roommates and the living room, “hey did you guys do a blanket fort movie night without me?”
Tobin’s shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot and Christen is doing everything in her power not to make eye contact with Olivia.
“The power went out.” Tobin supplies as Kling eyes her suspiciously, “no movie.”
Tobin bends to the ground and starts gathering up some of the blankets—
“Wait, why do you have on Christen’s shirt?”
Olivia laughs and Christen can feel her cheeks heat up as Tobin slowly straightens up, “what?”
“Number 9.” Kling says pointing to her back, “you’ve got on Chris’s sweatshirt and wait—“
“It’s happening!” Olivia says with a wide grin clasping her hands together.
“You both came out of Christen’s bedroom—“ Kling’s eyes are darting back and forth between the two and they go real wide when they stop on Christen and Kling steps forward with an outstretched hand, “and OH My God Christen is that a—“ Kling’s finger pulls at the loose neck of Christen’s t shirt until a purple mark is in full view right there on Christen’s collar bone, “it’s a fucking hickey!”
Christen and Tobin are silent but Olivia’s laughter fills the room.
Kling spins around quickly, “and you—“ she says pointing at Olivia, “how long have you known?”
“Longer than Christen.” Olivia can’t stop laughing, “I mean London I guess, I basically caught them going at it in the alley way.”
“I should have fucking known!” Kling exclaims spinning to look at Tobin. “I knew you lost on purpose, god, I should have known the only reason you’d be willing to lose was if Christen was gonna kiss you.”
Christen’s cheeks are burning and Tobin just shrugs because Kling’s not wrong, “yeah I mean you probably should have figured it out sooner.”
“Tobin!” Christen whispers harshly but Kling’s smiling and smacking Tobin’s shoulder and Tobin’s laughing and Olivia’s smiling.
—it’s nice and not really as life altering as Christen kept picturing it in her head.
“So fika?” Olivia asks, “I’m sure Kling would like to hear the full version of this coupling.”
“Gross, don’t word it like that—“ Kling says scrunching up her face, “but yes I would, and I mean I doubt you two have eaten anything—“ Kling’s grin is wide as her eyes slowly move between her two friends, “I mean, anything of sustenance that is.”