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Taehyung started at the hero in front of him with a cocky grin, as he backed up towards the edge of the building. Euphoria –the hero– watched his every move like a hawk would watch its prey.
Taehyung counted down the seconds until Euphoria made the hero speech, that every other hero seems to do literally every single time they think they have a villain cornered, which is honestly a little annoying to the villain. Can't they get more exciting lines, or do they have to be a carbon copy of each other every time? Not that the normal villain monologue is any better. Taehyung can say he spared himself from going through the embarrassing monologue phase though. Oh, wait Euphoria is opening his mouth. Time for the speech.
"I have you now villain!" Euphoria said, in the cliché hero voice, that every hero seems to adapt at some point.
If Taehyung were a normal villain, he'd probably say something like, "you fool! You fell for my trap! Behold— blah blah blah"
But, he isn't. He's an idiot. An idiot who loves vines and memes, unfortunately. He also didn't set any traps, like an idiot. Again. He never sets them, horrifying the cliché heroes.
"Gotta blast!" Taehyung shouted, jumping off the side of the building, leaving Euphoria with his mouth agape, as he ran over to the side rail.
"I thought you had some trap or something!" Euphoria yelled after Taehyung who just laughed loudly as he flew away on a hang glider. Those things sure do come in handy.
Taehyung landed safely a bit away from the shellshocked hero. He dusted off his suit, no not the skin tight spandex suits, it's just a black hoodie and camo pants, with some combat boots. He only uses the camo pants for the meme. You know the one, the invisible one? Sadly it doesn't work in real life.
His phone started ringing with the Ghostbusters theme. Taehyung answered, "Ghostbusters here. What's spooky?"
"Stigma, seriously, why Ghostbusters? And I'm pretty sure you broke Euphoria. He's been staring at the same spot for the past ten minutes."
"Ghostbusters is fucking amazing for one. And oh please Ephiny, I highly doubt I broke the kid by not following the normal procedures. If I did, then he isn't cut out for my hot ass. Also, pretty sure it hasn't been ten minutes." Taehyung scoffed, rolling his eyes. He unclipped the hang glider, pushing it to the bushes and out of sight.
" He's new, and you already broke him. I can't believe you broke him. Check the time idiot, it has been ten minutes since you flew away." Ephiny sighed. Taehyung could just picture him shaking his head at his antics. This happens a lot, so Taehyung started picturing what the elder would be doing while scolding him.
The villain checked the time, "holy fuck you were right. It has been ten minutes. That's beside the point! Have Rm hyung deal with him! I didn't mean to break him with my hot ass!"
"Your ass isn't hot Stigma! And Rm can't keep cleaning up after your meme filled ass."
"Well, you're stuck with my meme filled ass." Taehyung huffed, half tempted to hang up the phone. But, he'd have to deal with the olders scolding later if he does. Does he want to deal with it now, or later is the real question. He debates, tuning out the others lecture.
"—I mean seriously, this is the tenth hero you've broken by using memes!"
"Okay, hyung—" Taehyung interrupted, "I understand. I'll apologize to Rm hyung later, and fix Euphoria. He'll snap out of his meme state soon, so be prepared for the questions."
"Aish, youth nowadays." Ephiny sighs loudly.
"Hyung, you aren't even that much older." Taehyung pointed out, taking off his mask. He held the phone between his shoulder and ear, as he searched his pockets for his keys. "Fuck."
"What is it?"
"I fucking lost my keys." The villain groaned, sliding his mask back on. "Ephiny I suggest leaving cause I'll be back in a second. I'm not that far away."
"Got it. Euphoria still hasn't come out of his daze yet, so I can slip away without being noticed."
"Noted. Hanging up now!" Taehyung said, before hanging up without giving the other a chance to reply.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket; running his fingers through his blonde hair. "Poor dude. He's gonna have the shock of his life when I get back." He chuckled to himself, before running back to the building that the hero sat.
-
After running up a few flights of stairs, Taehyung can officially say being a villain sucks. So much exercise. Who likes this much exercise again? Jocks that's who. Not some memed bitch.
He bent over panting, in front of the door that led to the roof. "Alright time to get the show on the road, and hope to God that I didn't just run up those flights of stairs for nothing. Wait, I gotta do this in style." He grinned devilishly, lifting his foot up.
"Some—" He kicked the door open, "bODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME!"
Euphoria jumped like for feet in the air, frantically looking around. He finally spotted Taehyung who was bent over laughing.
"Oh my god, your face! I can't, I should have made myself green for this, you would have screamed for sure!" He wiped tears from the edge of his mask.
Euphoria ran his fingers through his raven hair. "I wouldn't have screamed." He denied, crossing his arms. "Do you meme everyone or—"
"Oh, yeah no, I meme everyone. It's ten times funnier when the person is a cliché hero, they never expect the memes. But that's not why I'm here. Have you seen any keys?"
Taehyung wondered briefly if other villains have the same problem, losing their keys after a hero attack. Well, they probably keep them in a pack attached to their spandex suits. Seriously what's with the trend of spandex? It's so uncomfortable. Not that Taehyung would know–
"Keys? Oh, oh yeah. I picked them up a minute ago. They yours?" Euphoria pulled out keys from his fanny pack looking thing, which in Taehyung's opinion was hideous, holding them up for Taehyung to see.
"Oh shit, they are. Can you give them to me?" Taehyung held out his hand, which in hindsight was a stupid move, to begin with.
Euphoria pulled a dick move and slapped handcuffs on Taehyung instead, putting the other one on his own wrist. Which was also a dick move. Great.
"Kinky. How did you know I like handcuffs?" Taehyung tugged on the handcuff, bringing Euphoria closer.
He snatched his keys dangling from the heroes hand with a small huff, glaring down at the cuffs linking the two together.
"I can't believe you've done this," Taehyung grumbled, tugging more on the cuffs, bringing Euphoria closer.
"Hey, stop tugging on it. You're bringing me closer." Euphoria tugged back a little, making Taehyung fall onto his chest. Super strength. Fun.
"Oh wow, these muscles." Taehyung purred, tracing the outline of the heroes abs. He's still angry don't get him wrong, but what's a better way of getting free besides actually trying? Annoy the hero. This isn't the first time this has happened and Taehyung has creeped or annoyed every hero that has done it. Including Ephiny. Yes, Ephiny is a hero, who helps a villain. That's cause Taehyung is a special villain to the hero. That's beside the point, Taehyung never takes this too far anyways. He respects people.
Euphoria shifted back, away from the wandering hands. "Wait, I never even got your name." He realized, looking at the villain.
"Whaddup, I'm Jared I'm nineteen and I never learned how to fucking read."
"Okay, I knew that one. Give me a name, villain." Back to the clichés, it seemed.
"Fine fine you cliché hoe. I'm Stigma. And, I have shit to do, so if you could uncuff me please?" Taehyung pouted.
"No. You're coming with me." Euphoria dragged Taehyung down the stairs, much to the others dismay.
"Stairs again? Ugh, if only I could fly." He mumbled, almost tripping.
Euphoria perked up at that, pausing for a brief second to look back at the villain.
"Speaking of, what's your power?"
Taehyung shrugged, "guess. Actually. If you can guess my power within two hours, I'll let you take me to the authorities, no complaints, but if you don't then you have to set me free. No cheating, which means you can't look into your hero handbook or ask other heroes for help."
Euphoria continued walking, "deal."
"Gucci." Taehyung grinned, now it's time to annoy the hero. He knows the best way to do it too.
"Never gonna give you up—"
"Oh my gOD."