Archive of Our Own

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What's the point in living if you never die? I wondered this a lot when I became a vampire.  Humans had a purpose, a reason to live. They knew they were dying so they made the most of the short time they had.  But a vampire? Death was never on the horizon. There was no ambition to get up and get something done. There would always be a tomorrow. Always enough time. I could wait a century to get up and do something as simple as brushing my teeth.  I hated my existence, hated what I had become.  But later I came to realize that even a vampire had a reason to live.  First it was dance.  Then it was my best friend Taehyung.  Then nothing.  And finally Namjoon.  I loved him. Hated being away from him. Existing was enough if I could see him smile. If I could be with him.  I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. We we're stretched out on the sofa in the living room of the apartment we shared, enjoying an afternoon together while both of us had time off of work.  Namjoon laid atop me, back to my chest, music playing through the surround sound. He was working on something. For him.  Usually he composed songs for other artists, but this he had said was for him. He wanted me to hear it first.  "Well?" He asked.  "Do you like it?"  I could tell he was nervous. He was fiddling with the rings on my fingers.  "It's beautiful, Namjoon. I always told you that you have an amazing voice."  He rolled over and buried his face in my neck. I could feel the heat from his face and knew he was embarrassed.  "Stop. It's horrible. I really can't sing."  "That's not true. Have you heard yourself in the shower? I love your shower acapellas."  Namjoon chuckled, deep and muffled from where he had his face pressed. The ticklish feeling made me squirm, laughing along with him.  But more seriously, when we both calmed down, I said, "This is just the guide right?"  He sighed, nodded, and pressed his face closer.  "You can always do better when you record it. You're really improving and you're already amazing." I waited a moment to see if he would respond or move but he didn't.  "And the lyrics you wrote.... It's so beautiful. The way you sing it makes it so comforting. It's YOU and no one else could do that."  I felt him relax at that. He knew I was right.  Namjoon wanted to help people through his music. If he could comfort someone or even lessen their pain a little, it was enough. And he never wrote something that didn't have meaning to him.  "I..."  I weighed my words for a moment, carding my fingers through his ash blonde hair, wondering if I should say them.  "There were a few tracks I really love. I - If you'd let me - I'd like to use them."  Namjoon sat up and quickly paused the music he was playing through his phone then looked at me with surprise.  "You mean in a class?"  "Not at first," I said quickly. Nervous now.  "Just for me. Work on the choreography for it. Then maybe use it in class. I'd show you first."  His smile was beautiful. That soft curve that he saved only for me. "You like it that much?"  "Of course. I always... I always thought about dancing to something you made. And It's perfect for contemporary dance." I sat up to meet him, brushing my hair back.  "It's beautiful. And it's yours. And I want to dance to it."  He took my hands again, twisting the rings around. "You can't right now. I have to finish it. But when it's done...  "I'll let you do it. And someday....I'll make a song. Just for you." He said, squeezing the Carter ring he had gotten me on our anniversary last year.  "I promise."  I grabbed his hands to stop his fiddling. "Are you serious?"  Namjoon seemed even more embarrassed now for some reason. I pressed a cool hand to his flush cheek which he leaned into, closing his eyes.  "Of course."  "Namjoon..."  I was amazed by him, again - always. I didn't deserve the amount of love this human gave me... But I loved him for it all the same.  He sighed softly, warmly, right against my palm and kissed it, opening those almond eyes but not looking at me.  "I'm..." He paused to glance briefly at me, worried, nervous, doubtful.  I wanted to press and ask what was wrong, but I knew to be patient. Sometimes he needed a moment to work out his thoughts, so I just sat and stroked my thumb over his cheek bone, moved to caress the mole below his lips, back across his jaw and finally stopping to rest my thumb over his surprisingly steady pulse.  My tender actions of affection seemed to calm him a lot. "I'm actually working on something now. I have been for a while." He looked back at me to see my reaction, and smiled at the look I had.  Eyes wide and lips parted, I couldn't actually believe what he had said was true.  He was working on something. For me. Had been for a while. How long? Why didn't he tell me? Had he wanted it to be a surprise? I felt beyond surprised.  "It's not even close to being done. I can't get the vocals right. Im happy with the lyrics, though it's a bit short, but for a dance routine I think it's perfect. I kept that in mind. I just need to change -"  Namjoon kept talking but I couldn't focus. He always rambled when he was nervous, so it was best to wait it out until he calmed down. Though most times I just stopped him with a kiss or something.  It suddenly reminded me of something. Something important.  I'll never forget.  That day.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-
 I vividly remember the day I had met Namjoon. Something so significant wasn't easily forgotten. It was one of the most important days of my life - next to the day he officially became mine.  If I'm honest, it had been a rather cliche meeting. I was thirsty, as usual. The thirst was insatiable, some days more bearable than others, but it was always present. So I went where I usually do to feed: a bar. Most nights I could find someone drunk enough to feed off of who wouldn't remember me by the morning, and that's how I liked to keep it. Developing feelings was something I avidly tried to avoid.  But on this night I found myself at a different type of bar. This was a more sophisticated setting, where higher class people went to socialize and grab a drink. The type of place with soft lighting and jazz music humming away in the background, important people - that were unimportant to me - haunched over a mahogany bar and a whiskey, dressed in suits, nursing a cigar.  It definitely wasn't my usual place to find a drunk partner to quickly feed off of, but I had grown tired of the neon flashing lights and ocean of intoxicated men and women grinding on each other to obnoxious music that was too loud for my sensitive ears. And little did I know, soon it would become my very favorite place. I liked the change, felt more relaxed. For once that ever present need to find the most willing partner (who didn't smell too bad) as quickly as possible and drag them into an alley to feed - was gone.  Like the others around me, I found myself sitting at the impressive polished wooden bar, bent over some sort of sweet cocktail. It didn't have the same affect on me as it did to humans. I actually missed what it felt like to get drunk and wake up with a hangover.  Though, if I was lucky, sometimes I could find someone who smelled good enough, tasted good enough, and I would experience that high again. Until it quickly faded and the thirst came back. I suppose that's what a hangover is for a vampire. I ignored the look from the bartender when I asked for another of what I was drinking. I think he was surprised I was still sober, but he didn't question me and went to get another. I guess with my appearance I didn't look like someone who could hold their liquor. What I didn't ignore - couldn't - ignore was the man who sat next to me. It just so happened that he bumped my arm right as I received my new drink and went to take a sip of it. The bump made me lose my hold on the glass and I dropped it, the glass tipping over and spilling it's contents over that beautiful wood.  I could have stopped it. I'm a vampire after all. But in a situation like this, I just have to watch things slowly and painfully unfold before my eyes, and let the inevitable happen. The bartender was back in an instant with a towel to sop up the mess.  "I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz. Literally why don't I watch what I'm doing." Said the man who caused the whole fiasco, gesturing wildly with his hands. I was only mildly annoyed. I knew humans we're clumsy. But his genuine concern and frustration at his lack of wherewithall had any ounce of irritation disappearing from me.  Aside from the sincerity in his voice, it was deep and smooth. It sounded warm and soothing to my sensitive ears. Definitely something I could get used to hearing.  I had sat complete still while the bartender cleaned up the mess that had thankfully not spilled onto the leather jeans I was wearing. That would be hard to clean.  I finally moved when I heard that honey voice again. "Damnit I'm really sorry. Let me buy you a drink to apologise." He said to me, then to the bartender, "Can you get him another? I'll pay for both," and ordered a drink for himself as well. He was handsome. Up close, I could see he had really attractive features. Like a straight nose, and a strong jaw. Thick lips with a mole right below them on his chin. His skin had a health tan, just enough to make him glow. I felt extremely pale in comparison. Dark hair was nicely styled into an undercut, bangs brushed back off of his forehead. I thought his voice perfectly matched his look. And unlike some of the higher class business men sitting around us dressed in suits with their Rolex watches showing, he was dressed simply but stylishly in a charcoal blazer unbuttoned over a black v neck shirt, black jeans and leather Chelsea boots. He smiled when I looked at him. I wanted to touch the perfect dimples that blossomed on his cheeks. "I really do apologise. It's been a long day" he sighed, and I wondered just what had happened. And that was a first. I was never very interested in my partners, especially not people I wasn't drinking off of. "But I am a klutz. I really should have watched what I was doing." As much as I enjoyed just listening to his voice, I was starting to get uncomfortable by his never ending apologies. I smiled. The stretch of my facial muscles felt strange. It had been a while since I had done that, genuinely. "It's fine. Really, no big deal. You didn't have to pay for that and buy me another." I found myself being sincere with my words.  He laughed softly, bashfully. "I know. But I wanted to." And I wanted to hear him laugh like that, just once more. "I'm Namjoon." He held out a tan hand. I wondered what I was doing, only for a second, then slipped my hand in his. "Jimin." A peculiar look came over his face as he studied mine. Like he was trying to figure something out but the answer was just out of reach. "Jimin," I liked the way he said it. "I haven't seen you here before. Usually it's just me and these guys." He - Namjoon - gestured vaguely to the older men around us. "I haven't been here before. I was looking for something new." It was true. Sort of. I was tired of the bars I visited, but I never had this in mind. Then, more honestly, I told him, "I'm tired of the clubs I usually visit." Namjoon smiled with those dimples and made an understanding noise, just as our drinks arrived. "Why? Do you not like seeing new faces?" I asked, almost wishing he would say yes so I would have a reason to leave and never come back. I was drawn to Namjoon and I didn't know why, because right now, I wasn't thirsty. He laughed, just like before. Soft and sweet and I leaned a little closer. "No, it's not that. To be honest, I like it. Here and where I work, I hardly see younger people my age. It's nice to look at something pretty for a change." I wondered what he would think if he knew just how old I was. But I wasn't too fazed by his words. Flattered, yes, but I knew I was beautiful. He seemed shocked when he realized what he said. The tips of his ears and the apex of his cheeks turning blush. "I-im sorry. Jeez I really am an idiot. I didn't mean...I mean yes you are beautiful, but like...coming from me I'm sure you-" "Namjoon!" I had to cut off his poor rambling. His cheeks were getting more and more red. He wasn't looking at me anymore either. "It's fine. Im bi so it doesn't bother me." His shoulders dropped and he looked at me with incredulous eyes. "Really? Ok. Good. Awesome." Gosh he was adorable. Namjoon sighed and an easy grin came to his lips. That's when it hit me. Usually a person's scent isn't so easy to smell. Humans naturally put up a guard around people they aren't comfortable with, and don't let that down until they trust them. But what humans don't know is when they do that they are protecting their natural scent and vampires can't smell that. Usually someone drunk let's those guards down which is why I go for the intoxicated because it's too much of a hassle to seduce someone sober. And Namjoon, without knowing, just let his guard down around me. The scent that met my nose had me remembering why I came here in the first place. To feed. But as good as he smelled, there was something to it that had me leaning just a bit closer, sniffing ever so slightly, and feeling my tense muscles relax. Just like the rest of Namjoon, his scent was warm and soothing, something I wanted to wrap myself in. It was something I wanted to taste, but it was also something I just wanted to bask in. "Sorry, I haven't flirted in a while." He seemed embarrassed to admit it.  But that little fact made me happy.      
I didn't touch my drink for the rest of the night.
  Namjoon told me about his work as a music producer and a bit about himself. Mainly light matters, but I just enjoyed listening to him, and honestly finding him interesting. I in turn told him about my dancing career. We both connected on music, in different ways, but still with the same passion. I didn't want to say goodbye to Namjoon. I had never felt so comfortable in another humans presence while not drinking his blood. Namjoon payed for both of my drinks like he said he would. But he didn't ask for my number, or a way to see me again. "It was nice meeting someone new. I enjoyed talking to you Jimin." "Thank you. I had fun too."  He hesitated a moment, and I thought maybe he would ask for my number. Or ask me back to his apartment. I didn't care. I was a creature who acted on desire, and I would take whatever was offered to me. But he didn't. Just smiled that gorgeous smile, told me it was a great bar and I should come back if I ever need a change, wished me a goodnight. And then got in his car parked near by and left.  I didn't feed that night.  I tried looking for someone who's scent called to me on my way home. Most people didn't walk around with their guards up so it wasn't that difficult. But I didn't want them. I only had one scent in my mind.AndThat was dangerous.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"Jimin?"  Namjoon's honey voice drew me out of my thoughts, looking at me with worry.  "You wrote something for me?" I asked, caressing his cheek, hoping to ease his doubt. I still couldn't believe what he had said was true.  Namjoon relaxed at that, and smiled, no longer worried I wouldn't be happy.  I was more than happy. I was thankful. A little undeserving yes, but absolutely ecstatic about it.  "Of course. You have no idea how many things I've written with you in mind. So I wanted to make something for you."  "Namjoon..."  I didn't know what to say, so I showed him instead, threading my fingers into his hair and pulling him into a kiss.  Namjoon made a surprised noise at the sudden affection but was quick to return it.  I kissed him like I was trying to say I love you without words, and Namjoon understood, pulling me into his lap and kissing me with the same passion.  It was too sweet, so I broke it, but pressed more kisses across his jaw, down to my favorite spot on his neck and just breathed his scent.   Warm was the only way I could describe it. Namjoon was always so warm. And mine.  It was moments like these that I had the urge to feed, to be closer to him,  and feel just how much he loved me.  Because feeding, I had discovered, was intimate.  He trusted me to do something so horrible, trusted me not to hurt him. And I loved that he let himself be vulnerable for me.  Feeding from the one you love and who loves you in return is the sweetest feeling.  I always worried about hurting him, but Namjoon had told me it didn't hurt. The initial pierce of skin did, but after that it didn't.  Had admitted, with a terrible blush, that he even thought it felt good.  Thought it was intimate as well.  He had proven he wasn't so fragile, but I could hurt him so easily. Especially when he trusted me so much.  I worried some day I would get too comfortable, forget just how human he was.  I was so aware of it, right now, with my lips pressed to his pulse - soft and warm - fingers at the back of the his neck, tilting his head - willing, pliant.  If I squeezed too tight, bit too hard, drank too long...  Killing him was my biggest fear.    
-Flashback-
  I tried to forget him. Honest, I did.   Forming relationships with humans was dangerous. They lived like the moon, constantly waxing and waning. Vulnerable and uncontrollable.  I liked knowing what was happening. I liked routines. I liked a schedule. Something predictable. Unchanging.  During the day I would stay home. It's not that I couldn't go in the sun. Humans story's about vampires burning up in the sunlight was false. But the brightness hurt my sensitive eyes and too many people were out then. The mix of scents was too much to deal with, and not being around fresh blood all day kept me sort of sane.  Nighttime is when I went out. Not all the time. A few nights a week when the thirst got the best of me. Each day, just before sunset, I taught a dance class. Then when those urges arose I stayed out long after that glow disappeared on the horizon, visiting clubs and quickly finding and feeding on a willing partner in an alley or restroom. I never went home with someone, and I never took someone home.   In my abnormal existence, a normal routine was something of a necessity.  Meeting Namjoon had messed up the normal life I had fabricated for myself.  I wanted to see him again. Not drink and forget. I wanted to talk to him again. Not run from a relationship like I always did. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to fit the tips of my small fingers into those gorgeous dimples on his honey skin. I wanted to smell that comforting warm scent, the essence of all that he was. A kind and soft, clumsy yes, but amazing man who made me, something that didn't need protecting....feel safe.  In the brief time we had spent together, I felt alive and important. I felt like I was wanted, as something more than a pretty face and body.  And as safe as Namjoon was...he was dangerous.  A vampire couldn't love a human. Because when we love, it only happens once. If that fragile human dies it would be worse than never drinking a drop of blood again.  The burning pain would be enough to cause a vampire to destroy themselves.  I know.  I'd seen my very own father destroy himself when he lost mom, who never wanted to become what he was, what I am.  So I had to stay away from Namjoon.  I already thought about him more than I had ever thought about another human.  Last time a drank, I went to one of those clubs that I hate now. I found someone tall, but not as tall as Namjoon. Someone with dark hair, but not styled like Namjoon's. Someone with a dimple, only one, not like the two Namjoon had. With tan skin, not the same honey glow as Namjoon's, but in the dark lighting of the club, I could pretend.  He didn't smell like Namjoon. Too much cologne that masked his natural sent. I was too thirsty to care at the time. He didn't even taste the way I assumed Namjoon would taste.  That was the first time I threw up after feeding.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I wanted to bite down on the soft skin below my lips so bad. Just to be closer to him, feel how much he loved me, to taste it on my tongue.
 
But I didn't. 
 
Namjoon had stayed so still - waiting, anticipating - the bite.
 
When he did that it was hard to resist.
 
I forced my fangs to retract, gave his pulse an Eskimo kiss, and sat back to look at him.
 
"I want to hear it."
 
Namjoon wasn't expecting me to say that, of all things, but his expression softened, eyes a little glazed from the kiss, lips a little red, and brushed back my black bangs, caressing the studs on my ear with his thumb.
 
"You have to be patient. I want it to be perfect."
 
"It is. Its yours. Its perfect."
 
"Wrong," he mocked, stealing another kiss. "It's yours."
 
I giggled as he continued to place little kisses across my face.
 
"Fine. It's mine. So I want to hear it."
 
Namjoon didn't say anything, just studied my features, fingers playing through the hair at my neck. I had to suppress a shiver.
 
"I could sing a bit...just a line."
 
I looked at him with what I hoped read 'unimpressed'. "You know I want more than that." 
 
But him singing even a word had me nearly bouncing with excitement. I wanted to hear it, but more than that, hear it from him, even if it was just a little.
 
Namjoon sighed and laughed, pinching the back of my neck. It only slightly hurt, but I pouted anyway and swatted his hand away which he just put on my waist to pull me closer.
 
"Always so demanding. What am I going to do with you?"
 
He was teasing.
 
"I don't know. Give me what I want?"
 
I raised an eyebrow suggestively, hoping he'd give in.
 
Namjoon grinned before smothering me in a hug. "Don't I give you everything you want, angle?"
 
I relaxed into his arms, pressing my face to his shoulder and holding him tight.
 
"Of course, Joonie. You give me more than enough."
 
It was true. I don't think he knew how much I loved him for all he did. I never took it for granted.
 
"Now didn't you promise to sing me something?"
 
I would have held him for the rest of my existence, but I let him go when he pulled back and he had that teasing smile again.
 
"I suppose I could croak out a few lines."
 
I slapped his arm lightly before pressing our palms together.
 
"Nonsense. Serenade me."
 
"Serenade. That's a good name for a song." He said, looking thoughtful.
 
He was just stalling and as patient as I am... I was getting impatient.
 
"Joon..."
 
"I know! Ok..."
 
He let out a heavy sigh. Cleared his throat a few times, then looked into my eyes.
 
I felt his pulse thrum under my fingers where I had them splayed on his wrist (it was a natural habit of mine now. I always seemed to find his pulse, just to assure myself: yes. He's alive. He's here. He's mine.)
 
As focused on him as I was, I could hear his heartbeat when it picked up.
 
Could smell his scent, so strong and warm.
 
Could see in his eyes that, yes, he was nervous, but he was in love. With me. 
 
I never wanted someone else. Didn't even want to think of being without him.
 
There was a time when being with someone else had literally made me sick.

-Flashback-

I had never thrown up after feeding.

My body never regected blood.

I stared at the red liquid in the toilet bowl. It belonged to someone. I took it, and regected it. I stole something so important and it went to waste.

A new kind of sickness settled inside me and suddenly I had to leave. Leave the restroom, leave the club with it's loud music, flashing lights, and sweaty atmosphere.

I couldn't go home so I went to the dance studio.

I played a song, I didn't care what, anything, and did what I do best.

Lost myself in the music and just danced.

I had no specific routine or set of movements, I just let my body flow. It probably wasn't the most graceful or beautiful of dances but I was able to forget for a bit and didn't stop until the music did.

Falling to my knees I stared at myself in the mirror that spanned the wall.

I was heaving, the hair I had slicked back earlier was now hanging over my forehead, silver strands sticking to my skin uncomfortably. I brushed my hand through it and it felt gross from the sweat I had broken out in. It took a lot to make me break out in a sweat.

I was a beautiful mess.

And I felt sick again.

Why had I thrown up that blood? And I was still so thirsty. I hated it. But the thought of going back to that club and feeding again felt worse than being thirsty.

I didn't want anyone's blood. And that scared me.

Namjoon came to mind at that moment. How long had it been since I met him? A week? Two? Nothing when compared to the decades I had lived. But it seemed a lifetime ago.

He probably forgot about me by now. But I still remember his smile, his voice, his scent.

My memory of how he smelled was faded but the thought of it had me moaning softly. I know he would taste so sweet.

I wanted to see him. But going back to that bar would be a death sentence.

It was too late for that now anyway. Namjoon wouldn't be out at two in the morning.

I mentally berated myself for even thinking of him again.

I had to forget.

I didn't feel like feeding again.

I went home.

And tried to sleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

But that didn't matter now.

What mattered was Namjoon, sitting patiently below me.

Namjoon looking up at me with so much love in his eyes.

Namjoon spreading his fingers out across my thigh, giving it a squeeze.

Namjoon squeezing my hand that he held in his other.

Namjoon starting to sing with that deep voice of his. Some of the simplest words that stringed together to form the most beautiful sentences I've ever heard.

"All this is not a coincidence. Just, just, I could feel it. The whole world is different from yesterday. Just, just, with your joy.

When you called me I became your flower. As if we were waiting, we bloom until we ache."

I could tell it meant a lot to him by the way he sang it. Soft and vulnerable and emotional.

I played those lines over in my head a few times. I don't know when I'll get to hear it again, so I want to remember everything about it.

And I was trying to figure out what it meant. He said it was for me, most likely a message from him But all I know is that he's the one who changed my entire world. He's the one who's life and light and joy changed everything for me.

"Jimin?"

When he called my name I opened my eyes I didn't remember closing. He was looking at me with uncertainty.

Namjoon started to fiddle with my rings again, drumming the fingers of his other hand against my thigh, chewing on his lower lip.

Impatient but adorable.

There were a lot of times where I would lose track of time thinking about something he said or just staring at him. Minutes felt like seconds to me but he was probably internally going crazy.

I felt bad in those moments. It was something I hadn't been able to get rid of - as a vampire - when we started seeing each other.

Namjoon had learned that about me so it didn't bother him as much. But I could see him getting more and more nervous. He knew I would "zone out" but he didn't know how to interpret my silence as a good or bad thing.

And an evil part of me sometimes liked to watch and see just how long he could endure it.

"Baby you're driving me crazy." He murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "Say something."

I wasn't always the best at words. He was the one who could say something so simply but beautifully, like in those lyrics.

I relied mostly on my actions.

"I love you," I said, looking down at his neck, as if staring at it enough could make him sing for me again.

"I know that little bit isn't going to be enough, and I'm going to ask you about it so much you'll probably get sick of me." I stopped for a moment to laugh and look back at him - who smiled at my words - replacing my gaze on his neck with a hand, just to stroke his soft skin.

"And I don't know what all of it means, but I do know it's beautiful, and I know that you changed my entire world. And that everything ached then and it still aches, but it's worth it."

Namjoon had a soft blush on his cheeks but he was smiling. "I love you too."

Hearing those words never failed to make me happy but I rolled my eyes, looking up at the ceiling with a smile.

"Did you hear anything else that I said?"

Namjoon nuzzled his nose against my ear so I felt his warm breath against my neck when he whispered, "Of course I did."

I didn't see his smile but felt it against my neck when he took advantage of the way it was arched to press kisses down my throat.

"I'll finish it for you soon." His kisses stopped when he reached the collar of my shirt but he just rested his head there, where my heartbeat should be, but wasn't.

I carded my fingers through his hair and looking down at the blondish locks gave me an idea.

"I'll have to dye my hair."

He pulled back to look at me surprised. "What? Why? Your black hair is sexy."

I smiled, flattered. We had both been a little apprehensive when I decided to do black. I'd had silver hair for so long and Namjoon was particularly fond of it, saying it made me look unreal and beautiful. But after dying it black he said the same thing as now, that I looked sexy with it.

"I know, but it doesn't fit the song. When I work on the choreography I'll have to dye it." I smoothed the hair at the back of his neck down. "Maybe a lighter blonde. I've been wanting to do pink too, so I need to bleach it anyway."

Namjoon's eyebrows raised at that but he smiled. "Pink? Yeah, ok, you would look gorgeous in that. You'd look great in any color. But you don't have to change it just for the song."

"No, I want to. I think I need a change anyway. I'll wait to hear the full song first so I pick the right color. And I can ask Hoseok to help me with the choreography."

Namjoon knew Hoseok who was a dance instructor that taught hip hop in the same building where I taught contemporary. I liked him a lot as a friend and we had helped each other many times on different routines.

Now I just had to be patient and wait for Namjoon to finish the song. Sometimes that was hard. Especially when it came to Namjoon.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-   
Vampires are usually patient. They learn it when they've lived multiple lifetimes. Time passes slowly so patience is a key thing.

I had been patient. Waiting. Hoping I would forget Namjoon.

I even stayed away from that bar. But there was only so long I could go without feeding. I had managed to feed a few times and keep it down, but I felt horrible after it.

Eventually I reasoned with myself that I only wanted a taste of Namjoon and when I had it, I would forget him like I did all my partners.

The bar was easy to find. It was right on my way to work. I grabbed a shower at the studio and changed into the clothes I had brought with me. Simple ripped black jeans and black blazer over a white blouse. It was different from the leather pants and loose tops I wore to the clubs I frequented.

I was surprised to see Namjoon at the bar. Im not naive. I really didn't expect to see him here, maybe another night, but not my first time back.

I didn't smell him yet, and the bar was a little more crowded then before. Namjoon had a few people sitting by him so I got a drink and waited.

I couldn't look away from him and couldn't believe how much I had missed him when I hardly knew him at all. We weren't friends, not even acquaintances. But I missed him, and the way it felt to be in his presence.

He was fidgeting on his phone at the far end of the bar, a frown etched into his features. I didn't hesitate the moment a space beside him opened and left my finished drink to go meet him.

"Hyung?" I felt so weird calling him that, since I was way older than him. Buy physically I looked younger, and I knew I was younger than him when I had been changed.

When his head snapped up and those eyes settled on me I felt like the single most important person on earth. Even if he looked at me with confusion.

"Sorry. You probably don't remember. We met a long time ago, here. I'm-"

"Jimin." He interrupted. Then laughed and it was the best thing I'd heard since he said goodbye so long ago. "Of course, I remember you. Sorry, I'm a klutz. Took me a moment."

"It's ok." I laughed too and it felt good.

"I remember how clumsy you are."

I took pride in knowing I could make him blush.

"I really am sorry about that." He said, scratching the back of his neck and putting his phone aside. Again, I felt important.

"Don't. You already apologized enough." Then I nodded towards his phone. "I hope I'm not interrupting you."

Namjoon groaned but shook his head. "No. Well, actually you are. But I need it right now." He smiled and motioned for me to sit beside him, so I did. Because he wanted me there. Because I wanted to be closer.

"Everything ok?"

"Just work stuff. Theres some music they want me to work on, but it's not my style. I've been trying to get them off my case. I even refered them to other producers but they are insistent on having me do it."

I didn't know what his style was. I could Google him, but it felt wrong.

"I'd like to listen to your music."

He laughed again and that sound is what I had been craving to hear for forever. "I'll have to play some of it for you then."

And that sounded like a promise.

His shoulders relaxed when he sighed, and finally I could smell him.

"Anyway, enough about that. You came back again. Tired of those clubs?"

Yes. But more than that. I was tired of constantly thinking of him and trying to erase him with someone else. But I couldn't tell him that.

"Yeah. They aren't my setting anymore."

"I told you. This is a great place. Let me get you something."

I would have refused....but honestly, I hadn't been treated in so long so I excepted his offer.

It was easy to be with Namjoon. I liked listening to him talk and I liked knowing he was listening to me when I talked.

He made me feel wanted, not desired.

He focused solely on me while we sat there, but I never felt like he wanted me just because I was beautiful.

When we left he offered to take me home.

"Its, like, late," he said, seeming embarrassed by the offer.

"I live close. I can walk." I wanted to spend the time with him, but knew how dangerous it was. And he wasn't intoxicated enough for me to feed on. He would remember if I did something like that now. And I wasn't even thirsty.

"Really? Do you want company? I could walk with you. Honest I'm not a creep."

He laughed at his own words but I saw his honesty. I trusted him anyway, and little did he know, he couldn't hurt me. I was stronger than he was. I didn't look it but I could hold him down if I had to.

"I'm sure you aren't," I said, smiling, truly, because I was happy. Now. With him.

"You don't have to do that, but I won't stop you either."

And he took that as an invitation to join me.

I just broke my own rule. I never went home with or brought someone home, and here I was walking with Namjoon. And it was nice. So different from what I usually did. Actually interacting with a human. I didn't realize how lonely I had been.

I didn't take Namjoon completely to my home. I just stopped with him outside my apartment building, pointed to where I live.

"Thank you, really. I didn't expect to see you again." I said.

"Were you looking for me?"

He was flirting. And who was I, a creature of desire, to resist?

"Maybe. I kinda wanted to meet you again."

Something flashed in his eyes, something I knew was probably showing in my own.

When he stepped closer I was hit with his warm scent and suddenly that thirst was back.

I should step back.

Push him away.

Run to my apartment and forget the name Namjoon.

Or at least turn my head and capture those lips when he leaned closer. But I didn't. I clenched my hands into fists and pressed my lips together, willing myself not to move.

Namjoon leaned down, pressed a kiss just shy of my lips, right at the corner of my mouth.

He pulled back only an inch where he looked into my eyes and we shared a breath.

This close he was so beautiful.

I should kiss him. He probably wanted me to because he waited. And when I didn't he stepped back. A whole foot that felt alot further away then it was.

"Anyway. Maybe I'll-"

I blocked out the rest. Was he misunderstanding?  Did he think I was uncomfortable.

"Hyung!"

I had to stop whatever he had been rambling about. His ears were so red and he wouldn't look at me.

"I'd love to see you again. I... Could I give you my number?" I was already reaching for my phone.

Namjoon seemed surprised at the offer but nodded anyway, pulling out his own phone and handing it to me so I could type in the digits.

Once he had my number saved he sent me a text. A simple moon emoji.

"Kim Namjoon," I murmured, smiling at the name.

"Park Jimin."

I looked up at him and laughed. "Yeah."

"You can call me that, by the way."

When I frowned he nodded towards my phone.

"Namjoon. You can call me Namjoon."

Normally one would have blushed, but I did feel embarrassed. "Oh, sorry."

"It's fine."

I didn't feel like saying goodbye this way, so I reached up and took his face in my hands, pulling him down to press a kiss where I knew a dimple was.

"Thank you. Text me soon." I whispered into honey skin then walked towards my building.

I looked back once and Namjoon was still standing there, staring at me. I wanted him to either follow me or go back and drag him with me but it was better that neither of those things happened.

Back at home I got a text.

'Lets meet again soon.'

Namjoon was dangerous. I liked him. Too much. I didn't think a simple drink from him would take that away either.

And I was scared, of what could become of us. But I couldn't stay away anymore, wanted him.

I was so thirsty.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was absolutely in love with the song Namjoon made for me. I only knew part of it, but I found myself humming it at random times of the day.

He'd been so nervous after singing those couple of lines, and I loved those little human things Namjoon did, like blushing when he was embarrassed. I wanted to stare at him all day long.

He made me happy, and I tried to be with him as much as possible. Even when he was working in his studio at home, I would sit there, sometimes beside him, sometimes on his lap, and either watch what he was doing or watch him.

He would complain that I was in the way, but then hold me tighter in his lap, or take my hand if I was sitting next to him

And I knew it didn't actually bother him. He wanted me there even if I did distract him sometimes.

Like now.

It was night already. I had finished my classes, and Namjoon had come home late and went straight to his studio.

I followed him, a little worried, but mostly just missing him. And I really wanted to see if he would play the song for me. He kept saying it wasn't done yet and I was starting to get a little impatient.

I ended up on his lap half watching him work and half dozing off.

I tugged one of his earbuds out so I could press my lips to his ear. "Let's go to bed Joon."

He hummed an affirmative noise, bent down and kissed my exposed shoulder where the shirt had slipped.

"Yeah. Go ahead. I'll be right there."

I knew he wouldn't. When Namjoon got into working on something, almost nothing could pull him away from it. Almost.

I sighed and pressed a few kisses to his pulse, tried nipping at his ear, but he was still focused on the computer screen.

Finally I dropped my head to his shoulder and started to softly sing the lines I knew of 'my song.'

"All this is not a coincidence...Just, just, I could feel it. The whole world is different from yesterday. Just, just-"

Namjoon suddenly ripped his other earbud out, and pushed me back to look at me. "Jimin, your voice is so beautiful! You gotta sing this for me."

He was smiling hugely, looking at me with amazement.

I was stunned by his proposal and laughed at how ridiculous it sounded.

"Are you kidding?" I didn't know anything about singing, had never even thought about doing it.

"My voice isn't working for this song. But you... Jimin, I want you to sing this."

He looked so happy and hopeful about it, but I was apprehensive.

"I can't sing Joon. And this is your song. I don't want to ruin it."

"You won't. Please? Just listen to it?"

Namjoon leaned forward and I had to grab his shoulders to keep from falling off his lap.

After a few moments of clicking around he placed the earbuds in my ears and his voice filled my head.

Namjoon watched me as I heard it, looking nervous but also excited.

I couldn't hear what he thought was wrong with it. His vocals were beautiful, as were the lyrics he had written.

As soon as it was over I ripped the earphones from my ears and kissed him.

Namjoon grunted in surprise, but I felt his arms slip around my waist and hold me tight.

"Namjoon, those lyrics... What is this song about?" I asked as soon as I broke the kiss.

Namjoon smiled, and I couldn't resist pressing a kiss over a dimple that appeared.

"You, obviously." He sighed, voice sounding a little broken. Threading his fingers into my hair, he pulled me close and pressed our foreheads together.

"What does it mean?" I felt tears at the corners of my eyes, saw the emotion in his as well.

"Me and you were meant to be together. But when we met... I was so scared. As much as I wanted you, I was scared to touch you."

I laughed but it sounded pathetic. "I'm the one who was scared...."

"'Just like you, I'm so scared.' I know you were, angel." Namjoon brushed away my tears before he continued. "And there's a line for you. 'my penicillin, saving me.' honestly, I think you're the one who saved me, but I know I saved you."

I stroked my finger over his pulse. "You did. Am I your calico cat."

He blushed but nodded. "Yeah, something like that. You're rare, beautiful. And.... I know you fought it in the beginning. You were always worried about hurting me." He said this with so much fondness, love in his eyes, fingers caressing the back of my neck. "But I just wanted to love you."

Then he whispered, "let me love you, Jimin."

I barely let him finish before I was pulling him impossibly closer, kissing him with salty lips from the tears that we're streaming down my face. Namjoon just held me tighter and brushed away whatever tears he could with his thumbs.

"I'm not scared anymore. Not of me. Not of you. Not of us."

Namjoon's eyes fell to my lips which were parted as I panted. He saw my fangs, then looked back to me and arched his neck.

"You never had to be scared, baby."

I couldn't resist. Not when he offered so sweetly. It had been a few days since I last fed anyway.

So I found that spot on his neck that I loved, and paused to gently kiss it. Suddenly, I didn't feel rushed. Excited yes, but not impatient. I wanted to take my time and enjoy it.

I tugged lightly on his hair to keep his neck exposed, and heard him groan.

He told me once that it felt good. I knew I new could make it feel good. I didn't have to hurt him when I fed.

"I love you Joonie." I pressed a few more kisses to his sensitive neck, then rested my fangs over his skin. Just to let him know I was about to bite. And to calm myself, to take a minute and feel his pulsing vein under my tongue.

Then I bit down as softly as I could, and we groaned in unison. Me from the beautiful taste that entered my mouth, and the feeling that settled in my chest whenever I fed from him.

Namjoon, I assumed, was in pain from the bite. He pulled me closer and moaned my name, and then I assumed differently.

"I love you. So much. You have no idea. You mean the world to me and more, and I couldn't even express half of how much you mean to me in that song."

I couldn't help myself. I bit down harder, cutting of his words with another moan.

That one did sound pained.

He had never talked while I fed. It was a new feeling I wasn't expecting.

Tonight was a perfect night to make love.

But not here.

I stopped sooner than I usually would.

I'd finish later.

I licked at the wound until it stopped bleeding, but didn't bother to lick my lips when I looked at Joon. He did it for me, swiping a thumb over my chin, letting me suck it clean.

I didn't bother letting my fangs retract either.

Namjoon could read it in my eyes. He hooked my legs around his waist and lifted me up carrying me to our shared room.

I'm a creature that is stronger than him and humans in general. But I loved when he made me feel weak for him.

He was already tugging at my shirt when he pressed me into the mattress - his human desires rivaled my own most of the time - because he knew.

But I told him anyway, whispered it against his ear, my voice raspy like it always was when I got aroused.

"Love me, Namjoon."

I felt like I had never wanted him more than in this moment.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-

Namjoon wanted me too, it seemed.

Maybe not the way you would think (yet) but he at least wanted to see me.

We tried to work out a day to meet again but he had to cancel for work related reasons and I was trying to stay occupied with teaching dance, knowing it was for the better.

I was surprised when he called me one afternoon asking to meet. I didn't go out during the day unless absolutely necessary and this seemed necessary so I agreed to it

I missed him. Alot.

Namjoon chose a coffee shop a few blocks away from the bar. He had work that night so he wanted to be alert and not semi drunk.

There was something about meeting Namjoon outside that coffee shop, seeing him dressed in ripped jeans and a long black coat, that felt intimate and special.

"Jimin," he smiled, and that too, felt special. He seemed happy to see me.  "Sorry, I know it's short notice."

"It's fine." I wasn't doing anything at this time of day anyway. I wanted to, so I hugged him. He really was tall. I had to stretch up on my toes to rest my chin on his shoulder.

His hands rested on my back and it felt good. Warm, comfortable, safe.

"Hi." I felt silly for saying it and embarrassed at the way my voice came out so breathy.

But from where I was in his arms I could feel it when he chuckled.

"Come on. As much as I'd love to stand here and hug all day, I actually have something to show you. Let's go."

I was happy to get the coffee and leave. It was too crowded inside the shop for me to feel comfortable.

The park Namjoon led me to was beautiful. Quiet, with a small lake we walked by.

"I come here sometimes to be alone and think."

"Intellect." I said, smiling coyly..

He laughed at that. "Yeah. I guess you could say that."

Being with Namjoon was so easy. Fun. I didn't feel stressed with him like I usually did with humans. When we finished our coffee (me only half of mine) he offered to walk me home. I had things to grab before my class.

I didn't think about it, just said yes. I didn't even feel bad about making him go out of his way. I just wanted to be with him longer.

Selfish? Yes. Greedy? I know.

I'm a creature that acts on desire. What I want, I make mine.

But I didn't realize how deprived I was of affection.

This time I walked with Namjoon up to my door. The keys were in my pocket, and I could feel their slight weight. I should say goodbye now. End it. It was nice knowing you Namjoon. This type of relationship with a human was dangerous.

Or. I should pull him inside and finally feed off of him like I want to and possibly end this torture.

"You...that night. You didn't ask me to go home with you."

I wish I could swallow those words. But they were already out. So I looked up at him. Tall, gorgeous, kind, warm, Namjoon.

"Why." My voice sound betrayed and hurt, even to my own ears.

Surprise widened his eyes, and he looked away for a brief moment, collected his thoughts, then met my eye again.

He was serious.

"I respect you more than that, Jimin."

'More than a one night stand' went unsaid.

I was the one surprised this time.

"I don't have many people in my life, nor the time to tend to relationships. So if I make time for someone, it means they're special. And I honestly wasn't expecting to ever see you again, so I just said goodbye, because I'm not the type to sleep with someone I don't intend on pursuing."

I was trying to keep up with his words. Each one held so many meanings I couldn't figure out right now because he had respected me.

"But... I met you again. And I can't stop thinking about you now."

His scent hit me so strongly at that moment. That mixed with his words... I felt a fire in my cold heart I had never felt before.

"Hyung-"

I was cut off by him moving closer, following me as I moved back until the wall stopped me. I usually didn't back away from something.

Even placing a hand on the wall beside my head and leaning closer, he was still so gentle. Afraid I would break or run away.

Didn't he know how strong I was? Just how fast I could run?

No. He didn't. He treated me like I was special. Fragile. Beautiful.

"I'm not asking for anything serious right now. I'd just....like to be with you more."

He cringed at his own words. But they made my chest hurt.

"Hyung." I wanted to beg him to stop. Don't make this hard for me. Or easy. It was too easy to say yes.

"I want to see you. I want to be with you."

He sighed, frustrated. I didn't know why. He knew what he wanted. I was the one fighting against either doing something forbidden or walking away from the one thing I finally, truly wanted.

"I won't do anything you don't want. Honestly if you don't want to ever see me again, just say it and I'm gone."

Don't make it so easy for me Namjoon. Don't make it like I'm a saint, wether I break your heart or kill you by making you mine.

I couldn't say anything. I just looked at him. Tall, gorgeous, kind, warm.....

Namjoon seemed to take my silence as consent because he leaned closer, only a little. But to me every centimeter he moved closer I felt more and more suffocated.

I still couldn't say anything. Even if I wanted to say 'no', I couldn't find my voice .

Without any sign of resistance from me, Namjoon sighed -with relief?- and tilted his head, closing the last centimeter that remained between him and me in one of the softest kisses I could ever remember receiving.

I tried to breathe through the kiss and calm myself, but Namjoon's scent was so strong this close. It made it worse.

Again, with no sign of discomfort, Namjoon pressed a little closer, his kiss a little more firm.

Finally, when I felt my fangs dropping, I moved.

I grabbed his biceps and pushed, just a bit.

It worked. Namjoon pulled back enough to look in my eyes. He must have seen the thirst in my eyes, which came off as desire. I wanted to kiss him. And finally being able to felt amazing, but I couldn't. Not when I was so thirsty.

When had I last fed?

He moved to kiss me again and I couldn't stop him. I, for the first time in an eternity, felt weak.

I only managed to turn my head to break the kiss. His lips just trailed across my jaw. I knew this was bad.

"Namjoon...please..."

"Where are your keys?" He murmured into my neck because he was misunderstanding.

"No, Namjoon, stop."

"Ok...yeah, I'll let you open it." He straightened up and went to kiss me a last time and I finally found my strength, shoving him back before he could. I squeezed my eyes shut so he wouldn't see the way they were glowing.

The silence that followed made me wish I had never existed. I hated it. How do you tell someone you want them but, "I can't right now because I'm really thirsty and I just want to bite-".... I pressed back against the wall, trying to create more space.

"Jimin... Are you ok? Damn I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

I knew by now that he rambled when he was nervous. So I cut him off.

"It's ok." My voice sounded pathetic. "Really, you did nothing wrong. I'm...not ready yet."

Pathetic excuse. But I really wasn't. And Namjoon didn't deserve this.

"Oh. Of course. You shoulda just shoved me or.... I thought-"

"It's ok!"

I couldn't bare it much longer so I turned away from him and fished out my keys.

"Really. I'm not mad at you. I'll text you later ok?"

I heard Namjoon shuffling his feet behind me. "Yeah..."

I had the key in the lock, turned, opened the door a centimeter-

"Jimin. I'm really sorry."

-and let the door go. At this point I had managed to calm down slightly. Enough to turn and look at Namjoon.

"I never wanted to treat you like this. But I didn't know I wanted to be with you so much."

"You're silly. But sweet. I've already forgotten about it" -lie- "so why haven't you? I'll see you later Joonie." And with that I reached up, further than expected, and gave him a chaste kiss.

Then I changed my mind. "No. Wait here. I'll only be a minute. I'll walk back with you, at least until we have to split up."

I would have invited him inside but that would be to much for me to handle right now.

He relaxed, nodded, and those dimples we're the last thing I saw before I closed the door behind me.

I had just called him a nickname.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I woke up early. The sun had risen but it wasn't shining through the window yet. I loved this time of the day, just before morning, and just before night. When the sun hadn't completely risen, or completely set.

I felt so relaxed where I laid, covers soft and warm against my skin. Everything smelled like Namjoon. I let my eyes flutter shut, breathing in his scent, wondering briefly why it was so strong.

Probably because he was right there behind me, so close I could feel his soft breaths against the nape of my neck.

I pressed back to be closer to him, wrapping my fingers around his wrist - just to feel his pulse - where he had his hand resting on my stomach.

I enjoyed these moments when I would wake up before him. I was so in tune with him now, able to just close my eyes and feel him around me, listen to his heartbeat and gentle breaths. He was so beautiful like this. I didn't even have to look at him.

It brought a smile to my face which only grew as I felt him squeeze me tighter, heard him groan to signify he was waking up.

"Morning baby," I murmured, dragging his hand up to kiss his pulse.

"Angle," he groaned again, burying his face in my hair.

Having just fed, I felt a blush rise to my cheeks at the endearment.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, voice sounding groggy. He was never as alert as I was after waking up. I loved the rasp his voice had early in the morning, or on late nights when he was extra exhausted.

"Like the dead," I murmured, nuzzling my nose against the tender flesh of his wrist. I had fed well last night, maybe even overdid it, but I still wanted him. His scent was so addictive.

Namjoon chuckled at my weird sense of humor. "How do you feel?" He asked, breaking out of my hold to caress my hip, trailing kisses down the back of my neck that made goosebumps rise on my skin at the feathery sensation.

He always worried about me, and I had no idea why. He couldn't hurt me. Though there was an ache in my hips from his rough grip last night, and an ache from other activities. But it was nice. It left me feeling completely boneless.

"I'm fine," I gasped softly, arching my back as his kisses trailed further down.

"I'm more worried about you. I didn't hurt you, did I?" We weren't exactly gentle, especially me. I knew I had bitten him quite a few times.

"Can't hurt me angle." Finally he stopped his kisses down my back, wrapping me in his arms and kissing my shoulder instead.

"Your neck is ok?"

"Fine."

Namjoon was normally cuddly in the morning, but he seemed more so today. I loved his affectionate touches and kisses, but I was worried about him and he was so occupied I didn't feel like he was answering honestly.

"Let me see," I said, tugging lightly on his arm to remove it, but he wouldn't let go.

"I wanna hold you."

That desire from last night rose up inside me, but I pushed it down, at least for now. "You still can, just let me go for a minute so I can roll over." It was actually a little amusing how he was acting.

Namjoon grumbled an 'ok' loosening his hold just enough to let me turn.

The sight that met my eyes had me sitting up in shock. Namjoon tried to pull me back to his side but I shoved him onto his back so I could get a better look. He groaned in pain and threw an arm over his eyes to shield them from the sun that was finally making its way into the room.

I knew I hadn't restrained myself, but I didn't know it was this bad.

His body was littered with bites. The worst were around his neck and shoulders. Some just love bites that had turned into a blue bruise, but most were fang marks. There were less as I moved down, two at his collar bone, a smaller nip on his peck. Pulling back the cover I saw I had even bit him on his waist. I didn't even remember doing that. How consumed by him had I been?

"Namjoon..."

He made a pained sound when I touched the wounds on his neck.

"I'm so sorry..." I felt like crying.

He pulled my hand away and intertwined our fingers together over his heart.

"Why?" He had a furrow in his brow when he looked at me.

"Because... I hurt you. I could have-"

"Hey," he cut me off, smiling. "It's ok. I'm fine. Yeah, it hurts a little." He paused, smile growing. "Honestly though? It felt good last night. You don't lose control like that often."

I scoffed at that, running my hand through my hair in frustration. "I should have controlled myself."

Then I sighed, bending to kiss the mark on his waist in apology. "But..."

"I know. I felt it."

Namjoon looked down at me with glazed eyes.

I looked away because he was too tempting when he looked like that. I licked at the bite, hoping to sooth the pain.

"So is it a yes?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his question. "A yes to what?"

"Last night. You didn't answer my question about singing the song for me."

Oh. I honestly wasn't sure. It's something I never tried before, but the song held alot of meaning to me.

"I can try," I said, brushing my thumb over the bite mark I had been kissing over. I moved those kisses across his torso, watching the muscle flex at the attention.

"You'll do great baby." Namjoon hummed and stretched out like a cat, closing his eyes. He was more worn out from last night than I was.

"Go back to sleep. You're still exhausted." I said, sitting up to look at him glowing in the morning light. My eyes quickly moved to the side, seeing the blood on the white sheets. I bit my lip in anger. I had really taken it too far. No wonder his scent was so strong.

"Fine. But I need you to come back first."

I went willingly when he pulled me down, carful to lay my head on his chest to avoid aggrivating his bruised shoulder and neck.

I would always worry about hurting him, knew I'd have to live with that if we wanted to be together.

I was learning to trust myself more in our relationship and starting to let go and be comfortable letting my true self show.

It had been so difficult in the begining. I wanted him so much. Not the way humans want. The way a vampire wants. Controlling those urges had been so hard, especially as we got closer.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-

I saw Namjoon more and more after our kiss. It became understood that he would walk me home when my classes were done, or drive if he was in a hurry. I told him multiple times that he didn't have to do that and just finish his work, but he insisted. So it was expected that we would meet outside the dance studio.

Tonight he wasn't there when I left, so I just waited on the steps for him. It's rare that he was late but I didn't mind.

Aside from seeing each other most nights, I found out that Namjoon liked to go for jogs in the morning before his work and I'd started to join him. I didn't need the exercise but I enjoyed it anyway.

This was fine. I liked Namjoon's company, I just had to be careful.

"Jimin!"

I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn't noticed Namjoon standing in front of of me. And I couldn't smell him. He seemed tense about something and I wondered what. It had me a little tense as well because his scent always calmed me and I missed it.

"Sorry I'm late." He sighed, adjusting the strap of the messenger bag he had over his shoulder. "I got caught up at work."

"It's ok. I wasn't waiting long," I said, standing up and slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I flashed a smile at him before turning to walk in the direction of my home. "Let's go."

"Actually..."

I stopped and looked back. Namjoon hadn't moved, looking more tense than ever.

"I have a lot of work I need to catch up on. I brought it with me to work on at home..."

"Oh..." The disappointment was brutal. As much as I told him he didn't need to do this, I looked forward to it even more. Namjoon was such a peaceful human and being with him always calmed me. It was something I had come to need everyday.

And... Just before saying goodbye, he would press me against the door and kiss me like maybe he needed me too.

I could feel the pain of rejection. Maybe I had been wrong about him. He was getting tired of me. He was just like every other human, fickle and-

"Ok. Then I'll-"

"Wait!"

I was ready to say goodbye but he had me pausing.

"Since I'm kinda busy... I was wondering if you wanted to go back to my place. You can grab a shower there and I'll finish up work while you do." He said shuffling his feet. "Then... I don't know. We could just hang out."

He was blushing. No wonder he had been so strange. Was asking me home that big of a deal?

...yes it was. Even for me. I was nervous. He had never even been inside my apartment so I didn't know how I would feel being inside his where everything smelled like him.

"Ok."

There I was, breaking another rule.

Namjoon smiled, not enough to show his dimples. He was just as nervous.

We started walking in the opposite direction that we usually do, and I was surprised when Namjoon took my hand, locking our fingers together.

I peeked up at him but he stayed looking straight ahead, chin jutted out in concentration. I'd never seen him make such a serious face but it made me smile, gently squeezing his hand.

Namjoon let me inside first when we got to his flat. I kicked off my shoes and looked around while he closed the door and removed his own shoes.

It was a large room with a open concept kitchen and living room.

I turned back to Namjoon and he was watching me.

"It's nice," I said.

He laughed and glanced around the wide space. "Yeah. It's too big though. I hardly spend any time here."

Then he took my hand and led me down the hallway. There was a small bath, and two rooms we passed till we reached what I assumed was the master bedroom. Namjoon's room.

The door was already open and it smelled so much like him when we entered.

"The other restroom doesn't have a shower, so you'll have to use this one," he said, leaving me standing by the door as he disappeared into the connecting bathroom. I felt like I couldn't move any further into the room, like I was invading his privacy in some way. Not that there was much. It was a pretty bare room. It seemed he just used it for sleeping.

Namjoon came back and dropped a towel on the bed then motioned towards the bathroom. "Use whatever you need. There's a whole bunch of soaps in there and a hair drier."

"Thank you. I'll just be quick," I said, finally taking a few steps into the room and dropping my bag by the bed.

"Do you want something to wear?" He asked with a blush.

I loved the idea of wearing something with Namjoon's scent on it. Though I kinda doubted any of his clothes would fit me since he was much taller.

"I actually have some clothes with me," I said, nudging my bag. "I always take extra in case I shower at the studio...

"But, if you have a hoodie or something that would be great. I'm a little cold." Lie, but I wanted something of his, as selfish as that seemed.

Namjoon looked happy at the request and nodded, moving towards the other side of the room where what looked like a big closet was. "Sure, I can get you something."

I grabbed my bag and the towel he had gotten me and entered the bathroom while he disappeared into the closet. It was just as nice as the rest of the flat (from what I had seen.) Namjoon was a very tidy person.

I peeled my shirt off, starting to feel uncomfortable with it on. As a vampire, being clean and taking showers was something I still enjoyed very much.

"Here you-"

I turned to Namjoon, and he was standing there with a white hoodie in his hands, but it seemed he had forgotten what he was going to say.

His eyes trailed over my exposed skin and I felt that like a caress. Normally one would have been uncomfortable being so openly examined, but I liked the way he looked at me. Goosebumps rose up on my flesh and I shivered.

Namjoon must have seen that and remembered his purpose because he snapped out of his daze and met my eyes, handing me the shirt.

"Here. Don't stand there too long. You'll catch a cold."

Funny, because I couldn't, but he was just that type of caring boyfriend.

Wait. Not. He wasn't my boyfriend. I mentally shook myself.

"Thank you."

Namjoon smiled and nodded. "Take your time." Then he left and shut the door behind him.

A part of me wishes he'd stayed. Taking a shower now just seemed lonely.

But the other part was thankful he had left.

I stripped and scrubbed down in water that was too hot, but it felt amazing, and my skin retained that warmth even as I left the shower.

I quickly dried off and pulled on the leggings and T-shirt I had brought, then put on Namjoon's hoodie, hoping to make the warmth from the shower last.

It was big on me, as expected, but it was soft and smelled like him, with a fish printed on the front that made me smile.

I blow-dried my hair quickly, then brushed back my silver bangs.

Lastly, I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper, not worrying about packing them into my bag. I was sure I would be back here again to retrieve them.

I felt strange wandering down his hallway, but found him easy enough in one of the other rooms which turned out to be a studio. He had headphones over his ears as he worked at a computer so I went and tapped his shoulder.

Namjoon jumped a little and pulled them off. "Hey. How was your shower?"

"Nice. Thank you, again. I'll go wait in the living room."

"No, don't," he said, taking my arm. "Stay. I'm almost done anyway. And I remember you asked me to play something for you."

I was surprised he remembered that.

Namjoon sat back and patted his thigh for me to sit on.

It was dangerous to get that close to him. But I couldn't resist, and slipped into his lap.

Namjoon's arm was there, wrapping around my waist to hold me in place, his chin hooking over my shoulder as he went back to work.

It felt good, and intimate, and I let my eyes close for a moment, knowing this was dangerous, knowing it couldn't work... But wanting it anyway.

"Hey," Namjoon nudged me a little while later, probably assuming I had dozed off on him.

"Listen."

Namjoon hit play on a tracklist he had brought up on the computer, then leaned back, pulling me with him.

"It's nice. Soft. I like it."

"Yeah? I mean, I do rap too."

I looked back at Namjoon in surprise. He had a soft blush on his cheeks but was smiling.

"Really? I'd love to hear everything you do."

"Someday. I thought you'd like the ballads I produced better."

"You know me well. I'm already thinking up choreography for it," I said and Namjoon laughed with me.

"I'd like to see you dance sometime."

I thought about that for a moment, shifting slightly on Namjoon's lap so I could look at him better.

"We have shows at the studio and kids bring their parents to watch. I mainly teach highschool students. You should come."

"I'd love to. Let me know when."

Namjoon adjusted his grip on me at my changed position, smiling softly at my offer.

He was more relaxed now. I smelt his scent on my next breath and couldn't help dropping my gaze to his lips.

I had never initiated a kiss with him before.

Our first kiss hadn't even been a kiss, just a brush against the corner of my mouth. The second one I hadn't know how to react, just letting it happen and trying to control that hunger.

The rest had all been light kisses shared on nights where we missed each other too much. Sweet kisses I let him steal from me in the dark, ones I returned but could never take further.

I'm sure he would kiss me if I waited. But tonight, with him sitting so soft and warm beneath me, his scent permeating the air, I wanted to kiss him.

I turned fully in his lap, letting my thighs hug his hips. Feeling him pull me closer. Hearing his soft intake of air.

And that was all I needed, threading my fingers through his hair and kissing him.

It wasn't like I expected it to be.

I expected it to be hungry and unrestrained. I wanted Namjoon so badly. But the moment I pressed our lips together... All of that changed.

Namjoon was soft and warm as he'd always been and maybe it was the dim lighting in the studio, or the music playing through the speakers...or his pulse thrumming softly below my thumbs, the gentle hold he had on my waist and sweet caress of tongue against my lip - but he had me feeling strangely emotional and I felt like I could cry from that kiss alone.

I let out a shuddering breath and he took the chance to slide his tongue in against mine.

More - is all I could think. More of Namjoon's touches, more of Namjoon's kisses, more of this feeling in my chest, more, more, more.

I snapped my eyes open when I felt the ache in my jaw, fangs threatening to drop.

I broke the kiss with a strangled gasp, urging that desire down.

Not now. Not now!

I hated what I was more than ever. I just wanted Namjoon. Like any human wanted another human. But I couldn't, and tears of frustration welled in my eyes.

Namjoon had moved on to my neck, pressing hot kisses and gentle bites to a sensitive spot he had found.

I grabbed his hair meaning to pull him away but ending up holding him there.

His hands tightened on my hips, pulling me closer, and I had to stop him.

"Hyung" I groaned, pushing him back, tugging his hands off of me.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

I couldn't look at him and see the expression he made - it would hurt too much - so I slipped off of his lap and left, going back to the bedroom to grab my things.

I was so stupid.

This could never work.

I would only hurt him.

I tugged off Namjoon's hoodie and grabbing my bag, ready to walk out and finally end this....but he was standing there, back against the closed bedroom door.

I didn't meet his eyes.

"Hyung-"

"Don't call me that."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment to collect myself. A human had never gotten to me before and I wouldn't let Namjoon get to me either.

"I have to go."

"What's wrong."

"Namjoon-"

"What's wrong?" He asked again.

"Nothing. I just have to go."

"What did I do?" He was completely ignoring what I was saying.

So I didn't speak, couldn't. Just stood there feeling smaller than ever. I shouldn't have looked into his eyes but I did and he looked hurt.

"Jimin?"

I would always hurt him. Even doing nothing. I wished he had never met me, because he didn't deserve this.

Namjoon pushed away from the door and walked towards me. The sudden movement startled me and I dropped my bag backing away until the back of my knees hit the bed and I had to stop.

"Tell me what's wrong?" He said, standing far enough away so I didn't feel crowded but close enough to still be intimidating.

As long as I didn't say anything...

"Why won't you kiss me?"

My eyes widened in shock. "What?" It was barely a whispered word.

Namjoon smiled sadly, reaching out to touch me but stopping himself and dragging that hand through his dark hair instead.

"You won't kiss me."

"I do," then corrected myself, "I did. What do you think I was doing in the studio?"

Namjoon shook his head. "No babe. A real kiss. One like you mean it. You always hold back and the second I take it further you stop me."

I would have been blushing had I fed recently, but I hadn't so I just felt dizzy and aroused at the nickname.

"No I don't."

Namjoon stepped closer, much more intimidating the closer he got. "Stop lieing to me."

"I'm not." I was.

He took my chin in his hand, swiping a thumb over my bottom lip. "So I can kiss you right now and you won't stop me?"

I frowned and knocked his hand away. Stop. Don't make it so hard. You don't understand why I can't.... I wanted to tell him all of this but couldn't.

"It's not you."

"Well that's really reassuring," he said sarcastically, then sighed heavily. "Listen, I want you. I don't understand it because I've never felt this way about someone. But I want you, Jimin. I want to see you more, I want to know you better, I want you to be a part of my life...."

He stopped to smile fondly at me, stepping closer and taking my hand.

I was two minutes from breaking if he didn't stop.

When he spoke again his voice was much softer. "I want to touch you. I want to hold you-" his eyes briefly dropped to my lips "-I want to kiss you. Alot."

There was no way I could do this.

No way I could leave him.

But no way I could stay.

I was too scared. Of what I was. Of what I could do to him. Of what he would think of me.

"Tell me what you want." He whispered it right into my ear and I felt the pain in my chest.

Namjoon waited, but I just stood frozen with my eyes shut. When he pulled me into his arms and kissed me I let the first tear fall. But I didn't resist. When he lifted me and pressed me down into soft, dark sheets, I went willingly.

When his kisses trailed once again to my neck I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling above us, silently letting the tears fall.

I was so, so stupid. I should have stopped before I started. I should have known this was going to happen, that forming a platonic relationship with this man would have never worked.

That I would always want more from him.

I just wish I could be human so I could love him like he deserves.

"Why are you crying," he asked. I didn't notice when his kisses stopped, or that he had been looking at me.

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at the ceiling, avoiding his eyes.

Last chance. End it now. Break his heart. Tear yours apart.

Namjoon brought my hand to his lips and pressed kisses across my knuckles, sneaking his other hand under my shirt and caressing the bare skin of my side.

"What's wrong, angel? Tell me what I did to make you cry."

I was doomed from the start.

Finally I looked at him, the human that changed everything. The one I'd unknowingly made mine the moment I met him.

And now...

I'd deal with the consequences. If he hated me afterwards... At least I had tried.

"Namjoon. I need to tell you something."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Namjoon's POV

I never knew what to expect from a vampire. Of course, Jimin was my first experience with one. I guess I always thought they were wild, evil, bloodthirsty creatures that didn't exist anyway so it didn't matter. 
But Jimin was surprisingly soft and sweet.

And he was extra clingy and loved physical touches.

He was fascinated by the little things, specifically me, which I would never come to understood because I personally thought I was one of the least interesting and most boring people on earth.

But he would just stare at me, sometimes long enough that a person would become uncomfortable, though I'd gotten more than used to it.

His focus and attention on me was different but not unpleasant.

And he was just a peaceful being to be around. But maybe that was just because I was in love with him.

Everything felt a little better when he was there, and waking up with him in my arms was on the top of the list of the most amazing feelings in the world.

He was small and delicate for what I assumed from a vampire, and I always felt so protective of him, as absurd as that was.

I caressed my fingers over his side, down to his waist, and back up, pressing kisses to the back of his neck that he offered to me so nicely.

Maybe it was silly to worry about hurting a vampire, but that's exactly what I did. I know I couldn't really hurt him physically, but if I did something that upset him... If I was too rough...

I only wanted to treat him like a princess and nothin less. Doing something that would make him feel less than adored more then anything else in the world was unacceptable.

But Jimin assured me he was fine. Until he turned and looked at me.

I hadn't seen the damage. Yes, my neck was sore, but that was expected after all the biting he had done.

Maybe I shouldn't indulge him like that, but how could I stop him, when the feel of his fangs sinking into my skin - knowing he did it because he couldn't control how much he wanted me in those moments - was something that felt good for me too?

I did see the ones down on my chest, but especially the one above my hip bone. Jimin drew my attention to it by lathering it with kitten kisses.

I stretched out and tried to not let his actions affect me, but I remembered that one so well.

Remember him pushing me back with red desire in his eyes.

Remember his hands sliding down my sides, lips following with scorching hot kisses.

Remember him hastily tugging at my belt, trying to undo my pants and being mostly unsuccessful.

Remember him sinking his teeth in when he finally got it.

And that had made me dizzy with how good it felt.

I honestly don't know what had gotten into the both of us. Jimin hadn't fed for a while, and he was always less restrained when he was thirsty.

When he was well fed, that's when the cuddling and soft whispers of 'I love you' and gentle caresses came in.

But more than being thirsty, Jimin had let go and acted on those feelings.

Still, this far into our relationship, he was always careful and reserved, afraid he would hurt me.

Last night I had felt him give into the vampire urges and the proof of that was probably stained on my neck in blue bruises.

There had been a new kind of trust and love that was present.

I spoke best through music, and that song had made Jimin realize just how deep my love for him was.

"What's it called," he asked, soft and satiated, and boneless the way he always was after feeding.

I loved him like this the most. I loved him wild with desire, fiery and passionate, but worn out and blissfully happy was a wonder to behold.

And so endearing I wondered how it was possible to love someone so much.

He nuzzled his head against my chest, careful of my neck and I reached up to play with the soft black hair at his nape.

He purred softly at the attention.

"Hmm?" I heard his question, but the meaning didn't register with the thoughts I had in my head.

"The song. What did you name it."

Jimin's fingers were rubbing soothing circles right over that bite by my hip, tempting to distract me but I had understood him this time.

"Serendipity," I murmured, pressing my nose into his hair.

"Serendipity..." He said it like he was tasting it on his tongue, and I smiled at him when he leaned up on an elbow to look at me.

"What's that mean?"

There was a cute furrow in his brow that made my smile widen. I pushed a strand of hair behind his ear, caressing the studs lining it.

"Serendipity? It's when you find something valuable that you weren't looking for. Something amazing and beneficial. Unexpected but wonderful."

Jimin's expression softened into something full of love, sliding his hand up to rest over my heart, feeling it beating slightly faster.

"You're my serendipity."

I pulled him into my arms, rolled over to press him into the sheets and hold him tightly.

"You're mine, angel."

He slapped my shoulder, but it was weak. Jimin said I shouldn't call him that, but when I looked at him, that's what I saw. I didn't see a demon.

That hand slipped to the back of my neck to hold me there, and I soaked up the feel of his skin for a few minutes.

"Ok," I sighed, pulling away from him. "I have work at noon and need to get a shower."

I patted his thigh as a slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, knowing he would be following me in a minute, even when I heard his muffled groan against a pillow.

The bruises on my neck were a lot worse than I'd imagined. Love bites from him we're not uncommon but this was worse than ever before.

"I'm sorry."

I jumped in surprise, not hearing Jimin enter the bathroom.

"It's ok."

He moved behind me, brushing his hands down my sides, softly kissing my shoulder.

"Does it really hurt?"

I met his eyes through the mirror and shrugged.

"Not really. A little sore if I move a certain way."

"I'll help you cover them."

I caught one of his hands and gave it a squeeze.

"I'll wear a turtle neck, so don't worry about it."

Jimin nipped at my shoulder and slid away, disappearing behind the glass shower wall.

"Then I'll help you wash it," he called, drowning out any reply I would have had by turning on the water.

I laughed and went to join him.

I didn't mind him crashing my shower.

Working with Jimin was unbelievable easy. I gave him some vocal coaching and he took direction well.

His wide vocal rang and breathy, soft voice was exactly what the song needed.

He had doubts along the way, worried since he had never sang before, but he sounded perfect, and I encouraged him.

I released the song under Jimin's name and the whole company was amazed by Jimin. They were wondering if he would consider doing more in the future, but he didn't want to right now.

He was focused on making the perfect choreography for it.

I could barely get him to leave the dance studio, and when he did, Jimin would practice in the dance room we set up for him at the flat.

Sometimes I would sneak in to watch him and he would never notice me. Or he did, but was just to occupied to say anything.

If I thought Jimin was beautiful, watching him dance was something else that I couldn't put into words.

He worked on the choreography for a few months, waited until there was a showcase at the studio to perform it.

I hadn't seen the full thing, just parts. Jimin said he wanted to surprise me.

Many parents were at the studio to see their children perform. I was excited to see them as well. I'd been to a showing before and it always amazed me to see what Jimin was doing, how he was helping kids through dance.

Hoseok was there too, kids from his class performing tonight as well. I waved to him as I made my way to a seat near the front, nodding to other parents on the way.

Jimin was busy talking to his students so I didn't go disturb him.

The show started with performances from his and Hoseok's students. It wasn't until the show was over that Jimin performed.

I knew he was nervous. He didn't want to mess this up. Had told me so last night after I helped him dye his hair, now a platinum blonde.

Jimin met my eyes from where he stood. Waiting for the music to start.

I winked, raising a thumb in encouragement. He smiled briefly, but then the music was starting and his expression changed to something focused, but soft and vulnerable.

He took my breath away. Jimin danced in an effortless but precise way, elegant and ethereal, moving like his body was the instrument playing the song.

He danced like the song was made for him, and I inwardly laughed at myself, because it was made for him.

Jimin was a serendipity.

When the music ended the silence was broken by applause, and all the students, including Hoseok, joined Jimin for a bow, officially ending the show.

The parents moved to go congratulate their children, but I was frozen, staring at Jimin.

He was breathing heavy from the exertion, having danced his heart out. And he was beaming.

I don't know what kept me where I was. Having seen Jimin perform so perfectly, beautifully.... something changed. I thought about us, the whole reason that song was written, and realized how ridiculous all of it was. There was no way this would work.

Admitting that had my heart feeling like it had been ripped apart inside my chest, and pathetically still trying to beat.

Amidst all the joy and cheers, I felt horrible. I didn't want to bring anyone down so I got up and left the studio, hoping some fresh air would clear my mind but the cool air just made me more bitter.

A sighed in frustration, gritting my teeth against the tears that we're clouding my vision.

I heard the door of the studio open and close behind me, knowing it was Jimin, but I didn't turn to look at him. It would hurt too much.

"Hey."

He sounded breathless, and happy.

"What are you doing out here."

He was tugging on my arm, trying to get my attention. I turned towards him, but stared at something behind him instead of meeting those angel eyes.

"Namjoon? Are you ok? Did you not like it."

I hated to be the reason his voice changed to worry and sadness.

"You were great, Jimin. Perfect." I really meant that.

He tugged on my arm again.

"What's wrong Joon?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, counting slowly in my head, preparing myself for his next reaction.

"We can't do this anymore." I forced myself to look at him while I said it, to let him know I was serious.

Jimin just scoffed and shook his head.

"You're insane. Let's go back in. It's cold out here and I don't want you getting sick."

Me getting sick, because he couldn't.

Jimin tugged again to pull me back to the studio but I didn't move.

When he looked up into my eyes, seeing my serious expression, he froze.

"Namjoon." It was a warning as well as a plead. Don't do this! Whatever is wrong, we'll fix it.

"You were absolutely beautiful in there, and I'm so proud of you. But... It made me realize, that this can't work."

"No." Jimin shook his head furiously. "I'm not doing this here. I'm going to go grab my things, say goodbye, and we'll talk about this at home."

He reached up to kiss me and I was to weak to stop it.

I watched him go back inside, and contemplated just leaving. Maybe it would be easier.

But I loved him more than anything. I know he deserves an explanation.

So I waited.

Looking down at the steps, cracked and worn from many years, I laughed humorlessly.

Memories we're flooding into my head, all of them with Jimin.

Once upon a time I had fought for Jimin. Wanted to make him mine no matter the cost.

Now I was trying to break up with him. When he finally was mine.

All those memories made me feel a pain in my chest.

But there was one that was particularly bittersweet.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-
 
Namjoon's POV
 From the moment I met Jimin by accident I could tell he was different. Exquisite, unique, beautiful - and for some reason - dangerous. When he looked at me, it felt like he could see right through me. 
It was intoxicating to be around him. He made me feel nervous for some unknown reason.

But I wanted to see him more and the brief moments we spent to and from his job was not enough anymore.

So when I got stuck at work, I thought I'd have to call and cancel on him (because I knew he was waiting for me.)

The new label I was working on couldn't wait, and I had to get it done. Most likely I would be taking it home with me....

And that's when I got the idea to invite him over.

Jimin still seemed extremely reserved around me, but he was slowly opening up, becoming more responsive to the touches and kisses I tried to give him as often as I could. Maybe he would be willing tonight.

I knew I was already late, but gathered my things together and made my way down to the dance studio anyway. Funny, I had noticed the studio when I first moved to the city, but I never imagined it would actually become a part of my life.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Jimin hadn't waited for me. And relief filled me when I saw him sitting on the steps, so beautiful, even disheveled from his class.

Then I remembered my proposal and contemplated forgetting it and just walking him home as usual.

But he agreed. That felt like a major step in whatever this was going on between us.

I had a lot of time to prepare myself on the way to my flat.

But nothing could prepare me for all that was about to happen.

Especially not seeing Jimin. Standing in my bathroom. Hair tousled and falling into his eyes. And shirtless.

I couldn't stop myself from looking down, admiring the flawless pale skin stretched over well defined muscle, wishing I could touch it.

I saw him shake under my gaze and snapped my eyes away from the v line cut into his abdomen, worried I'd made him uncomfortable.

Leaving Jimin in the bathroom, I went to my studio, sitting there for a minute, trying to calm myself and remove the image of the half naked object of my affection from my mind.

It kind of worked.

I managed to make a lot of progress before Jimin showed up, looking soft and relaxed from his shower, covered in the hoodie I loaned him. He looked small and adorable. There was no way I was letting him leave. Pulling him into my lap probably wasn't the best idea but he didn't object.

Having Jimin there wasn't as distracting as I thought it would be. He smelled sweet from the shower and I would occasionally take deeper breaths just to catch that scent. But he sat there patiently, head lolling on my shoulder, and it was nice. Something I had never done before but it was relaxing to have him here.

Finally, I finished up and glanced at the clock. It was so late. I nudged Jimin to see if he was awake and he sat up. I would have carried him to bed and let him sleep but he looked alert.

I fulfilled my promise to him so long ago and put on a playlist of the more ballad like songs I'd produced.

He liked it which made me feel extremely happy and most of the nerves I'd had went away.

Maybe it was the music, or maybe he just felt comfortable, but either way, he surprised me by turning in my lap and straddling me, leaning forward with determination in his eyes.

I didn't bring him here for this. I hadn't expected anything. Yes I wanted it, but not unless he did too.

I never knew how much I missed him until I was kissing him. It quickly had me wanting more but Jimin always seemed so careful.

I licked gently at his lips, hoping he'd open up to it, dieing to take it just a little further. He did, sighing softly, and I took the to chance, slipping my tongue pass his parted lips to taste him.

I needed this from him. I'd tried to be patient and wait for him but I was only human and I could only wait so long.

There was no taking whatever he would give me. I wanted everything from him

Jimin broke the kiss but I didn't stop, pressing kisses to his neck, quickly addicted to the taste of his skin.

He held me close for a moment, and I thought that finally, he wants this too.

But then he pushed me away.

"Hyung. I'm sorry. I can't," he said, getting up and leaving the room.

The sudden change had me stunned and I didn't move for several seconds, shocked and still hazy from the kiss.

I frowned in anger and confusion, getting up to go stop him. There's no way I was letting him leave like that.

He didn't notice me when I entered the room, quietly clossing the door behind me. He was too busy ripping my shirt off and throwing it away like it was toxic.

When Jimin turned and saw me he quickly looked away.

My frown deepened.

"Hyung-"

"Don't call me that." I hated when he did. There was no reason to speak to me so formally.

"I have to go."

I don't know what had changed from ten minutes ago when he was sitting so pliant in my lap but I wouldn't let him leave until he told me.

"What's wrong."

He still wouldn't look at me.

"N-Namjoon-"

"What's wrong?" I hated to treat him like this but Jimin had run away too many times and I was worried.

"Nothing. I just have to go."

"What did I do?" It had to be something I'd done. Maybe I was too forceful, or maybe he wasn't looking for more than a friend, but I just wanted to know and I'd stop what it was.

He didn't say anything.

"Jimin?" I was just about ready to beg.

I went and stood in front of him. "Tell me what's wrong."

He still didn't respond, staring off to the side.

"Why won't you kiss me?"

Jimin looked at me in shock. "What?"

He denied it. And yes, he had kissed me, but not like he really wanted it.

He was scared for some reason, and it just confirmed it when I asked to kiss him again and he brushed me off.

For me, it was so easy when it came to Jimin. I was drawn to him so strongly. I knew exactly what I wanted and I wasn't uncomfortable sharing my feelings with him.

"Tell me what you want." Please.

Jimin squeezed his eyes shut and it looked like he was breaking a little. I pulled him to me and kissed him softly.

Whatever it took, even if it took all night, I'd get him to open up to me. It kind of scared me to think of the things I'd do for him, in such a short amount of time. I couldn't explain it, but I couldn't stop it either.

All the fight in him was suddenly gone, even when I pressed him into the bed, he went easily.

I left his lips so he could talk if he wanted to, gently pressing kisses to his neck.

He was so beautiful and I pulled back to look at him, but the sight had me panicked.

Jimin stared blankly up at the ceiling, tears in his eyes.

"Why are you crying." I felt angry at myself, wondering again what I had done. But then I sighed and took his hand, kissing it. Getting angry would only upset Jimin more.

"What's wrong, angel? Tell me what I did to make you cry."

His stoic expression finally cracked and he looked at me.

"Namjoon, I have to tell you something."

I almost sighed in relief, but grit my teeth and stroked my thumb against his side, soft, encouraging.

He sat up, bringing us close together, pressing his fourhead to mine. I didn't say anything, too afraid I'd ruin it and he'd change his mind.

"Kiss me? Before I tell you"

He didn't have to ask me to do that. But I was curious about the request. "Why?"

"You might no want to again, after I tell you."

I highly doubted that. Whatever it was, it wouldn't stop me from lo-

It wouldn't stop me wanting him.

I did, soft like before, and for once Jimin kissed me like he really meant it, and I smiled.

But when he broke it there was sadness in his eyes. He pressed his thumb to my dimple, and just blurted it out.

"I'm a vampire."

I'd never heard something so ridiculous in my life.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was furious.

I thought I'd be sad but I wasn't.

I tried to morph my expression into something that read less angry as I went back in the studio to congratulate my students once more and apologise for leaving so early.

Hoseok assured me it was ok, he would close up. Gave me a wicked smile that had me raising an eyebrow.

"Take it easy, ok? Remember you need to be able to dance tomorrow. It's not your day off."

For a moment I just stared at him in confusion.

Then it dawned on me why he thought I was leaving so soon. Hoseok knew enough about the song and Namjoon to make assumptions.

He thought I was leaving to go get my ass pounded back home.

I almost would have laughed and left with a racy comment, but instead a blush rose to my cheeks since I'd fed last night.

Me and Namjoon we're not about to go home and physically express our love for one another.

I wished, but that was not the case.  I just lightly punched his shoulder, looking around to make sure no one heard him.

Hoseok was laughing as I quickly made my way back outside.

Namjoon was still there, not facing me again.

I shoved his arm and didn't wait for him, starting towards the car. I didn't take his hand, just murmured a cold, "let's go."

I was already buckled in and waiting by the time he showed up.

I didn't look at him, too angry at the moment. I'd been happy - thrilled - after performing that for Namjoon. I worked so hard on it, put my soul into it.

But now... I had never been so annoyed at Namjoon. I didn't know what was wrong with him, or why he had to bring it up now, but I was mad at him for ruining my mood.

"You know," I finally said, staring out my window. It was raining.

"Hoseok thinks I'm on my way to get fucked. Wish that were true."

I glanced over, saw his knuckles tighten on the wheel, chin sticking out the way it did when he was focused.

"That's none of his business. And when did what I do to you turn into fucking?"

I smiled a little at the fact I had made him mad.

"Isn't it?"

They were low blows but it couldn't be helped. I didn't care and wanted to make him as an angry as I was.

Namjoon's next words came out in a low growl, and I'd definitely succeeded in doing just that.

"You know I've never treated you that way. I've only ever made love to you and you know that."

I turned my eyes to the windshield, but closed them soon. The motion of the windshield wipers was annoying me.

I know I was being a brat for no reason at all, but he was the one that started this.

"Really? Sorry, I guess I figured you didn't since you're suddenly disgusted with me."

Namjoon took a deep breath, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"I'm not disgusted with you."

I peeked my eyes open and Namjoon met my gaze for a moment, but then looked away.

I followed his gaze outside. We we're home.

I didn't wait for Namjoon. Left the car like it was about to explode and made my way up to the flat.

I was already kicking my shoes off by the time Namjoon showed up with my backpack. Ever the gentleman.

I crossed my arms and waited while he removed his own shoes and jacket, wet from the rain.

"Let's fuck." I said.

Namjoon looked at me with a frown, brushing pass me.

"Your crazy."

I followed him back to our bedroom where he was dropping my bag by the door, switching on a bedside lamp.

"Why not?" I asked. "Maybe that's what we need. We never have angry sex."

Namjoon ignored me, disappearing into the bathroom and returning soon after with a towel, scrubbing at his wet hair. He threw another one at me which I caught easily.

"Go take a shower and clear your head," he said, sitting on the bed with his back to me, not sparing a glance.

I could tell he was disappointed with me, and it made me feel slightly upset.

Fine. If he wanted to treat me that way then I would continue acting like a brat.

"What, you don't want to join me?"

I said, starting towards the bathroom. His grunt of annoyance was the last thing I heard, shutting the bathroom door a little harder than usual.

I did as he said, showering quicker then usual. As mad as I was, I hated that he didn't join me.

I left the bathroom in only a towel. Namjoon didn't even glance at me as I walked pass him to get dressed, having changed himself and reading a book on the bed.

I finished and pulled one of his hoodies on, breathing in his scent that lingered on it. Only he could make me angry and calm me down in the next second.

I went and sat in front of him, taking the book from his hand and sitting it on the bedside table.

Namjoon sighed and removed his glasses, fixing me with an exhausted look.

"Well?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Well what?"

"Have you calmed down?"

That made me frown. "I'm fine." Though I said it like I wasn't.

"There's nothing wrong with me. You're the one-"

"Hey," Namjoon interrupted. "Relaxe, angle."

He reached out to touch me but I slapped his hand away.

"I hate when you call me that."

"No you don't." He called my bluff and he knew I knew it.

"What's wrong with you tonight? I thought you'd be happy after seeing the dance. To the song you wrote. For me. Because you love me, remember?"

Namjoon leaned back against the headboard and groaned.

"You don't have to reminded me. And I am happy, Jimin. You were gorgeous. I loved everything about it..."

"But?" I knew there was something that had went wrong.

"This relationship is ridiculous."

I didn't let myself feel heartbroken yet. "We knew that. It never stopped us before. We said we'd deal with it. No matter what... It's us."

Namjoon made a pained expression at those words.

"I know we said that, but have you really thought about it? I'm human. Do you know what humans do? They age, and get old. They die, Jimin."

"I know that," I growled. Of course I worried about that. But it didn't change that I wanted to be with him, and love him.

"I don't care. I thought we agreed we wouldn't let those things affect us. You always told me it would be ok, and I finally believe you. Don't back out now."

"I just don't want to hurt you babe." Namjoon moved closer and took my hands. I didn't understand how he could act this way and tell me he wants to break up at the same time.

"You never hurt me."

"But I will. When I die... Inevitably, I'll hurt you. If we stop now, at least then maybe you could get over it. Maybe it's not too late."

That was impossible. Not when I'd already fallen so far.

My chest squeezed painfully at the new thought I had. I looked at Namjoon - warm, and beautiful, and alive. And thought about taking that away from him. That made me sadder than anything that he'd said so far.

"I could change you."

His head snapped up in shock to look at me.

"What?"

"Well, not me. But we could have you changed."

I pulled him closer and pressed our foreheads together.

"Then we could always be together."

"Jimin..."

Namjoon looked at me sadly and tears gathered in my eyes.

"I never wanna leave you Joonie. And if that's the only way... I'd rather kill you than have you die on me. I'd rather take away your life than have you leave me."

Namjoon's hand tightened around mine and he slightly shook his head. But it wasn't because he was saying no. He was uncertain. How could something like that work?

"It's your decision. I'm not forcing you. But I'm not leaving you."

"How?"

I was scared to explain something like this. But I didn't want to hide anything. If Namjoon was going to do this, I needed him to know exactly what would happen.

"I have a friend. A pureblood. I was changed so I can't do it for you. But he could."

I stopped to caress over his pulse, sadness in my voice.

"You would be bitten right here. He'd inject the venom into your bloodstream. Then you'd drink his blood. It makes the transformation easier, less painful."

"How long would it take?" He asked, staring at our hands.

"It depends on how well you take it. But no longer than a day."

"Is there a chance I'll die?"

"Yes." I said it without a moments hesitation.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"Not real death. But you will, technically, be dieing. I'm dead Namjoon."

Namjoon ground his teeth together and shook his head.

"No you're not."

I smiled sadly and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

"Glad you think of me that way baby."

He returned the kiss with a longer one that had heat settling in my stomach, a familiar feeling.

"I always think the best of you."

That was something I loved about him. His undying love and faith in me.

"Is it painful?"

"You'll feel like you're dying at first. But then you'll go unconscious. Like I said, drinking his blood will make it easier."

"Can I drink yours?" He asked, and it made me smile. I wish.

"No. I don't have the blood from a pureblood, so it won't do much. You can when you wake up though."

"I won't be bound to him for the rest of my life, right?"

If he would then I never would have mentioned it. Namjoon was mine, and I wouldn't give him to anyone. "You don't have to worry about that. There's no soul binding. Your heart is mine, as far as I'm concerned."

"You know it is..." He whispered, like it was more for himself than me.

It made me feel relieved. Namjoon wasn't tired of me and wanting to break up. He was just worried about the future.

"So who is this friend of yours anyway."

I smiled while thinking of him. It had been so long since I last saw him. He was probably wondering what had happened to me. It would be good to visit him again.

"He's the one who helped me when I was a new vampire. He took care of me. But you don't have to agree to this Namjoon. Take some time and think about it. It's not reversible and I want you to be sure."

Namjoon sat back with a heavy sigh. "I don't know Jimin. I know I want you, and a life with you...and if this is the only way-"

I stopped his words with a kiss. "Just think about it. You don't have to decide now. We'll go visit him, talk to him, let you be around some vampires for a while, and see if you really want this," I said honestly, letting him know I wasn't forcing him.

Namjoon nodded and pulled me into his arms.

"Ok. That's fine."

He held onto me tightly, pressing kisses to my shoulder, then he pushed me back, looking at me with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jimin. Don't think for a second that I don't love you. What I did back at the studio..."

I pressed a finger to his lips and shook my head.

"It's ok love. I know. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

Namjoon pulled me into his lap, murmuring against my palm. "You know I'd never treat you less than the most precious thing on this earth. To think I'd ever make anything but love to you..."

I gasped softly, feeling the ache in my jaw, fangs threatening to drop. Not out of thirst. I was more than well fed, thanks to Namjoon. But because his words took my breath away. He had no idea how much he made me want him.

But then he looked up at me, at the expression on my face that didn't conceal a thing I was feeling, and his eyes darkened. Maybe he did have an idea of how much I wanted him.

"I always feel how much you love me Joon. I always feel it in the way you touch me."

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the tears back.

"Well figure this out. Together."

Namjoon nodded and rolled over with me in his arms, holding me tightly against him.

I sighed in content at the comforting feel of him all around me, breathing deeply to let hid scent relaxe me like it always did.

Namjoon and I weren't a perfect couple who never fought. We had fights quite often. But we always worked it out, and if we didn't, we set it aside until morning.

No matter what was said, we always went to sleep with no space between us.

I could always count on waking up with Namjoon wrapped around me, to sweet kisses and gentle caresses.

He was the most peaceful and amazing human in the world and I could understand why I had fallen for him, when it was such a forbidden relationship. He was something special.

And I felt so proud of him for taking everything so well. It didn't bother him at all who I was and what I did.

Even when I first told him, it didn't scare him away.

Just thinking about his acceptance and love for me filled me with so much love for him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-
 I didn't know what type of reaction Namjoon would have to me being a vampire. 
Anger? Confusion? Shock? Disbelief? Crying, screaming, and backing away in disgust?

Any of those were possible.

But of all things, I never expected humor.

I never imagined him laughing at me.

I was the one staring at him in shock and disbelief.

Namjoon sat back, resting his hands on my thighs that we're spread to accommodate him between them.

"Ok," he said, a smile on his face, but not the dimpled kind. "What type of innuendo is that supposed to be?"

I didn't understand why Namjoon was taking the news so well. But it dawned on me that he never got it to begin with.

He didn't believe me.

"You think I'm joking." I said, blankly. For a moment I felt like crying but now I just felt empty. I was ready for him to know. Was tired of going on the way things were. I needed him. And I needed him to believe me.

To accept me for what I really am...

Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and moved completely away from me to sit on the edge of the bed.

I wanted to grab him, make him stay, - don't leave me - but I couldn't move.

"Namjoon-"

"Listen," he said, sounding frustrated, exhausted. "If you wanted me to stop, or if you just want to be friends, or you like girls better - you could have come up with a decent excuse. Or just say you don't like me."

Big, clumsy, stupid, Namjoon.

"That's not true. And you're stupid to think this is a matter of gender. I told you it doesn't matter to me. I like you, Joonie."

I felt hurt by his comment, sad that he thought I would feel that way, that he thought so little of himself.

Didn't he know how amazing, and kind, and loving he was? Didn't he know he held the sun in his skin? The moon in his heart? The stars in his eyes?

Namjoon looked back at me and it was the first time I had seen him look at me with anger in his almond eyes.

"Well what am I supposed to think?" His voice, the way he positively growled those words had equal parts fear and desire settle in my stomach.

"Every time I try to get closer, you push me away. So I don't know what to think. I don't know what to think about you."

I shrunk away from him as his voice got louder, more angry as he went on.

"Damn it, Jimin! All I know is I want you, and you need to give me a damn good reason why you're stopping me."

I waited a moment, watching his eyes frantically searching mine. I knew this was my last chance to back out. I could tell him he was right. That I didn't like him, never did, was just playing him

But that was a lie.

And even if he hadn't believed me, saying what I was had removed a weight from off my shoulders.

A shuffled closer to him on the bed, dieing to be closer once again

"Calm down," I murmured, taking his wrist and resting my thumb over his thudding pulse.

I caressed the skin there for a moment before meeting his eyes.

"I'm not joking."

Namjoon must have heard something in my voice because he tensed up and his pulse faltered for a beat.

"That's absurd. You honestly don't expect me to believe that."

His voice was just above a whisper now, a deep frown set into his brow.

I smiled sadly, preparing myself for whatever came next. I was so close to losing him.

I closed my eyes, brought his wrist to my nose and took a few deep breaths.

It wasn't hard. I'd been feeding less and less since meeting Namjoon so the thirst was always there. In a second my fangs we're dropping, and it took a lot of strength to resist biting into his flesh right there.

"Jimin..."

I didn't answer, gripping his wrist tighter. Feeling extremely thirsty but paralyzed by fear.

Namjoon gently took my chin in his hand to raise my head, and slowly I let my eyes slide open and meet his, for the first time, like this.

I saw his eyes widen fractionally at the red glow in mine. Then they dropped to my lips, and I parted them, letting him see my fangs.

My grip got tighter on his wrist, especially when his thumb brushed over my chin, up into my mouth and caressed over my teeth.

I wanted to bite so bad, nipping at the appendage and releasing a need whine that I was too heady with desire to feel embarrassed about.

I had gone too long without blood, but I had to show Namjoon I wasn't some crazy, uncontrollable beast like stories painted us to be.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," I groaned, voice raspy and low, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to calm myself

I was thankful that he didn't say or do anything, let me focus on relaxing.

I laced our fingers together against my thigh, and finally looked up at him, back to what I consider looked normal.

What surprised me was... Namjoon didn't looked scared. Or disgusted. He looked shocked, of course, but mainly curious.

But he didn't leave, or pull away, and maybe he was just frozen in place and would shove me away at any moment, but for now he was here, and that meant more than he knew.

"You're the first one I told," I said, with a sad laugh. I felt like crying. For the first time in centuries I was sharing my secret with someone, and I felt weightless.

"I never told a human. I... Namjoon, you-"

"You're a vampire." Namjoon said it blankly, like he didn't really believe it but couldn't deny it either.

I smiled, gently squeezed his hand, trying to be soft, let him know I was safe. The vampire was a part of me, but it wasn't everything.

"Yeah. I am. And you don't have to be scared of me. I'll never hurt you Joon."

Namjoon shook his head, some color coming back to his face. "That's not possible. How..."

"There's more of us than you think. We keep to ourselves."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at me again.

"Do you believe me?" I asked, stroking the back of his hand. It was weird. After telling him.... I felt so affection towards him. Like sharing a part of myself connected us in an intimate way

"I don't know. I think I'm crazy. I know vampires don't exist...but you...can I see again."

It felt like an invitation I wanted to accept but I had to deny that. "No. I can't. If I do I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from biting you."

Namjoon's eyes widened, pulling away but I held him close.

"I'm no gonna do that, dont worry. Your safe."

Namjoon came back, but just because he was too shocked to properly resist.

"Ok. So how does that work?"

I smiled, keeping my tone soft as I answered.

"Well, my fangs don't always show, obvious. They drop when I'm thirsty. And yes, I drink human blood. We need it to survive, like humans need water."

I studied his features, waiting for the panic attack to settle in, but Namjoon seemed calm. Also a little grossed out but he nodded for me to continue.

"And.. some things are heightened. I can move faster, and my senses are stronger. Like..." I stopped to smile, brushing my hand against his neck. I dropped it when he flinched.

"I can hear your pulse, if I focus on it. It's beating so fast."

He was nervous, or scared. Not sure. Maybe a bit of both.

"My eyes are pretty sensitive to the sun. I see well at night. Are you ok?"

Namjoon was looking pale again but he nodded.

"Yeah. How...how often do you feed?"

"Once or twice a week. I never hurt them. I usually choose drunk partners so they don't remember."

"Do they taste different?"

He meant the blood.

"Yeah. I can smell them before I feed. But..."

I didn't know if he was ready to hear the next part.

"What?"

"Vampires...were very sexual creatures. Blood taste the best when the human feels good. It tastes the best during sex."

Namjoon pulled his hands away and shifted back. I let him go, let him have his space.

"So you just sleep with whoever?" He definitely sounded disgusted now.

"No... I..."

I looked away, not able to look at him as I said this.

"Its too dangerous. I wouldn't be able to control myself. The risk of killing them is too high."

Namjoon looked like he would pass out.

"Are you ok? Namjoon!?"

He furiously shook his head, like he was trying to clear it.

"So what do you do?"

"I only feed from humans. I know the blood would taste better with sex but I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Is that why... you wouldn't let me..." Namjoon trailed off, already knowing the answer.

"You smell so good Namjoon. Everytime I kiss you, I want more, and I want to bite you. You see why I had to stop?"

A little smile came to his lips that had me surprised.

"I get that, I guess. You've never slept with a human?"

He seemed to be taking everything well, so I figured I could tell him the rest.

"No. And I'm technically still a virgin."

Namjoon went to say something but I quickly cut him off.

"I was changed before I had sex as a human. But I've had sex as a vampire. With other vampires. They're the only ones I'll sleep with. I don't have to worry about killing them."

"Oh..." Namjoon seemed to relax and he leaned closer again. "So what am I then?"

I sighed and placed my hand over his cheek. Namjoon didn't pull away.

"You're the first human I've ever wanted for more than a drink. Your the first human I've ever wanted to know better and possibly have a relationship with."

He kissed my hand and I gasped softly and the action.

"You're not afraid of me? Disgusted?"

Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows and took my hand, turning it over in his and inspecting it like there was something fascinating about it.

"I know I should be disgusted - was at first...but I could never be disgusted by you. And you haven't given me a reason to be scared."

Namjoon shifted closer, our knees pressing together, and took my chin, brushing his thumb over my lip.

"Is it really that hard to resist while kissing me?" He asked.

I didn't try to hide the want on my face, parting my lips to lick his finger.

"You have no idea. And I haven't slept with someone in so long... but what makes it the hardest is that I've never wanted someone as much as I want you."

"Would it be too much to ask if I can kiss you?"

I moaned softly, not able to stop it. After all I told him, what I was and what I did... He was still looking at me like I was the most amazing thing he'd every seen. He wanted me just the way I was, and tears filled my eyes.

"I think a little bit is ok."

Namjoon pulled me to him by a hand at the back of my neck, and kissed me soft and sweet, not like he was being careful, but like he was deeply in love and was expressing it with his lips.

I wonder if he was in love, because I thought that maybe I was.

Namjoon didn't take it any further, even broke it when I became more insistent. Like he knew he had to stop, didn't want to make it more difficult for me.

"We're ok, right? We'll work this out?" I asked, hugging him to me, listening to his heartbeat, and hearing his voice rumble in his chest when he spoke.

"We're gonna be fine."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I planned to visit London with Namjoon a few days later, getting in touch with my friend and booking the soonest flight. The eleven hour flight felt quick with Namjoon's company.  He worked on his laptop, and when a headache formed he slept on my shoulder. I just watched him and thought about all we had talked about. One thing I knew is Namjoon must be absolutely committed to me if he was considering being turned. But I wondered if I could actually take away his life, if we came to that conclusion. I brushed a few strands of hair off his fourhead, watching his sleeping face, and briefly pressing my finger under his nose, just to feel his soft, warm breaths. I would try to change his mind, but if Namjoon really wanted to be turned, then I would have to accept that.  We arrived in London at night, and went right to a hotel to sleep from the long flight. The next morning I texted my friend to let him know we we're on our way. I didn't tell him the purpose of the visit, just that I was coming to see him with someone. We got a cab and took a two hour drive to where our destination was. Namjoon kept asking questions about my friend, but I didn't tell him anything. It was best to meet them in person. They were vampires, and I didn't feel comfortable revealing anything else about them without their consent. I squeezed Namjoon's hand when we arrived at the large house. "Are you ready?" He looked out the car window warily and shrugged. "I guess. Not really sure how I'm supposed to prepare myself for meeting a pureblood vampire." "Don't worry. I won't let them eat you." I smiled at Namjoon, and he laughed, but I worried I had made him more nervous. "They?" He asked when we left the cab, carrying our bags with us. I quickened my speed and didn't say anything. I wasn't sure who would be here, honestly. I had hurt them when I left, and I don't know who had forgiven me. I waited for Namjoon to catch up to me on the steps, checking once more to see if he was ok. Namjoon just reached over and rung the doorbell. "I'm fine, Min. Stop looking at me like that." I Iooked away in embarrassment at being caught. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know what to expect, and that makes me nervous, because you-" I got cut off when I heard the sound of a lock being undone, and the door opening. I didn't recognize the person, a human, standing in front of me. I was sure I was at the right place. "Excuse me, I-" the human cut me off. "You must be Jimin," he said, glancing briefly at Namjoon. "And you're his friend." "Namjoon," Namjoon said, holding out his hand. The black haired male smiled and shook it, then stood back to let us in. "I'm Jungkook. The others are waiting for you in the living room. Let me take those. I'll put them in the guest room. He reached for both our bags and I was too stunned to resist. What was a human doing here. "Jimin!" The other male, Jungkook, was quickly forgotten when someone new came running straight into my arms and squeezed me. I recognized the voice but I recognized the smell even better, and my eyes closed, a tear leaking out. "Taehyung." "I missed you," he whispered, and his voice was just as deep and soothing as I remembered. "I'm so sorry I left you like that. And I never called ...I didn't think you would forgive me." Taehyung pushed me away, smiling his boxy smile. "Of course I do. We're best friends. I'll always forgive you." Half of the worry I'd had in coming here vanished. Knowing he had forgiven me gave me hope with the others. "You look so different," I said, reaching up to brush my fingers through his red hair. "You too. But you look good. Happy." Taehyung mirrored me, touching my blonde hair. Then his eyes flicked over to Namjoon, who was standing back looking like a lost puppy. I had to smile. "Who's this?" Tae asked. I pulled away from him to take Namjoon's hand. "Namjoon. He's my..." How did I explain it. Namjoon was so much, and simple words like 'my boyfriend' weren't enough. "Everything? You can't find the words to describe it, he just makes life seem right?" I had been sharing a look with Namjoon, but I snapped my head to look back at Taehyung when he said those words. But he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Jungkook who was coming back from putting our bags away.  Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook and gave him a look that was so familiar because I'd looked at Namjoon that way so many times. And I understood why he was able to answer for me so easily. "You and Jungkook?..." Tae looked back and smiled. "Yeah." I looked to Jungkook and he was smiling as well. Taehyung had found someone, just like me. I felt happy that he wasn't alone. Also happy there was someone who understood how it felt to be in love like this. "They're waiting for you," Tae said, and motioned for me and Namjoon to follow him through a few conjoined rooms until we came to the living room. "Jimin! You're here!" There he was, standing from the couch and coming to hug me. "Jin. I'm sorry. I never kept in touch and-" "It's OK, Jimin. I missed you. And I'm glad you're back." He pulled away and I smiled sadly, nodding my head, then I directed his attention to Namjoon. "This is Namjoon. Namjoon, this is Jin. The one I told you about." Jin looked him over and Namjoon nodded his head. "Nice to meet you." Jin smiled at him, but it looked a little forced. "You found a human too." "Don't talk about him like he's some type of alien." I suddenly felt defensive, not only for Namjoon, but Jungkook, who seemed as if he was my own younger brother, and I had to protect him. "That's not like you, Jimin." I froze at the new voice, and looked around Jin to see the last person in the room. He was slowly standing from the couch and sauntering over to us. "You vowed to stay out of a relationship with a human. Or," his eyes lit up and he laughed in mock amusement. "You brought lunch. Always loved to share, didn't you." I wasn't upset from what he said about me, just outraged at the way he was talking about Namjoon. I took a step towards him and growled lowly. "He's not a snack, Yoongi. And you'll keep your hands off of him." "Well, that's disappointing. Maybe he'll be a little less selfish and share you with me then?" I was about to punch him, or rip his esophagus from his throat with the fangs that just dropped in my mouth,  but a hand was pulling me back into a warm chest.  Namjoon. "And who the hell are you?" Namjoon asked, a detectable amount of anger in his voice. My insides warmed at his protectiveness and his show of dominance over a vampire. But I also froze in fear because Namjoon was standing up to a vampire, and that vampire was Yoongi, which made it worse. Yoongi's eyes slid up to Namjoon, and even though he was much shorter he didn't look intimidated at all. "Nothing to you, human." "He has a name, and it's Namjoon," I said this to Yoongi, but it was meant for everyone. I didn't want them looking at Namjoon like some sort of creature. Yoongi cocked his head to the side, looking at me with confusion. "You changed." I blanched at that. "You're the one who's changed." "What do you expect,Jimin?" He was mad, and I didn't feel sorry, I wouldn't until he apologized to Namjoon. "You left me. How do you expect me to be?" I laughed humorlessly and shook my head, holding Namjoon back when he went to step in front of me. There was no way I was letting Yoongi get close to him. "We we're nothing. I wasn't obligated to stay here for you." "I used to be enough for you. I made you happy." I shoved Namjoon back, just to make sure he wasn't near Yoongi, then I stepped towards the other vampire. "I wasn't happy. Why do you think I left?" "I kept you satisfied." He reached out to touch me but I slapped his hand away. "I was angry. And confused. Upset. I didn't know what I wanted, and so I just used you. We used each other. And it meant nothing. So don't get angry at me for leaving." Yoongi's eyes changed color and his lips parted, fangs peeking out. "Ok, that's enough!" It was Jin who came and placed a hand on our chests, pushing us apart. "Calm down, both of you. You're here for a reason, but we'll talk about that later. Go settle in, get some rest. I have the guest room ready for you." Me and Yoongi were still staring at each other, and I could tell he wasn't done talking, but I listened to Jin. I turned away and went back to Namjoon. He was watching Yoongi, and I took his hand pulling him with me, out of the living room, up the stairs and into one of the first rooms. Namjoon shut the door behind us, and I kicked my shoes off before going to sit on the bed, sighing in frustration at the words me and Yoongi shared. I watched Namjoon slowly remove his shoes, and walk over to me even slower. He had a million questions in his eyes, but he didn't ask yet, instead taking my chin in his hand and sliding his thumb into my mouth, over my fangs. "Are you ok?" I gently bit down on his thumb, not enough to draw blood, and licked at it to sooth any pain I might have caused. Namjoon slipped his finger out and moved his hand back to brush through my hair. I closed my eyes, focusing on him to calm me down, and didn't answer until my fangs retracted. "Now I am." "Who is he? Why did you both get so upset?" "He's...Yoongi is," I wrapped my arms around Namjoon's waist and pulled him between my legs, not knowing how to answer. "It's complicated." "Make it uncomplicated, please?" Namjoon was so soft, brushing his fingers through my hair, caressing along my pierced ears because he knew that calmed me down. Even his voice was low and soothing. Namjoon rarely lost his temper or got upset with me, and I felt like I was doing a crappy job in this relationship, once again. I sighed, and patted the space beside me, waiting until Namjoon sat down, placing his hand over my thigh. "We used to be together." I didn't look at Namjoon, but I felt his hand tighten, and not because of an affectionate squeeze. "I told you I only slept with vampires. And that's the type of relationship I had with him." "Fuck," Namjoon muttered, pulling away and standing up. I grabbed his arm, squeezing my eyes shut. Begging the rejection not to come. "Please don't go. Let me finish." I Iooked up and Namjoon nodded once, body stiff and turned away from me. "As a new vampire, I had no idea what to do. I was scared and I didn't know how to control myself. Jin was more like a parent to me, and I loved him like one. Taehyung was a new vampire just like me, just as confused. And then there was Yoongi... "He was always quiet and just there. When Jin was with Tae, Yoongi would be with me. He'd follow me when I went to feed and helped me stop when I couldn't. "I don't know when it happened, but suddenly we had this physical relationship together." Namjoon looked back at me, but instead of seeming disgusted, he looked hurt. I hurt him. "Why didn't you stay with him if he helped you so much?" Namjoon asked and yanked his arm out of my grasp. It seems absurd but I was scared of him right then. "Because I don't love him Namjoon. I never did. He was just there when I was young and confused. He didn't love me either but he was content to stay together. I didn't want that though." Namjoon sighed and sat back down, hanging his head. "I hate thinking about you with anyone else. I hate that someone else got to touch you and love you like that." I gently took Namjoon's head between my hands and turned him to look at me. "No one loves me like you do Joonie. They might have touched me, but they'll never have me like you do." "I just want you to be mine." "I am. Seeing Yoongi again isn't going to change anything." Namjoon clenched his jaw like he did when he was angry or really focused on something. "Wouldn't you be happier here, with him?" "What do you mean," I asked lowly, almost warning him to not go there. He had no right to doubt my feelings for him, not after the years he spent convincing me we could work this relationship out. "He's the same as you Minnie. He could take care of you, and love you, and give you a life that I never can." He sighed and scratched at the back of his head in frustration. "I just feel like I'm holding you back sometimes. I'm tieing you to the life of a human when you should be free to go love and live as you want." I was angered at his words, but I didn't lash out at Namjoon like I had the last time he mentioned breaking up. I slid closer to him on the bed, nuzzling my nose against the sensitive spot on his neck, watching him swallow. "When have you not cared for me? When have you not loved me? Or not provided for me and filled me with life every day?" I gently turned his head, whispering right against his lips. "All I ever wanted was to be held down by you. This is the life I've chosen, and if that life is to be a slave, then I only want to be a slave to you." Namjoon squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw again. "Don't ever doubt my love for you. You can do whatever you want to me, but the one thing I won't let you do is decide who I would be the most happy with. Do you understand?" "Ok," Namjoon said weakly. I took his face in my hands and made him look at me. "I love you, Kim Namjoon. If there's one person in this relationship that feels like they are holding the other back, it's me." Namjoon shook his head to disagree but I quickly shushed him. "There's nothing I wanted more than to see you live a life with a human, and have kids, and grow old together. I felt like I was robing you of the most beautiful things in life. "But then I also wanted you right beside me. I wanted you to be mine, I wanted to be yours. I wouldn't change anything." Namjoon sighed and, finally, smiled. "You're not holding me back, you know? I want to be with you too, and love you, Park Jimin. I just say those things because I love you and I want you to have the best life." We both loved each other, and both thought we weren't enough for the other. The greatest breakups happened through misunderstanding, and I wouldn't let that happen to us. I took his hand, placing my palm on top of his. "Do you see this ring?" Namjoon looked down and nodded his head, stroking his finger over the Carter ring I wore. "We promised ourselves to each other. You asked me and I haven't taken this off since that day. Whatever happens, and whatever we do, well do it together." "Together. I promise." He brought my hand to his lips, sealing his words with a kiss right to my ring. "You?" "Promise." I pulled him closer to seal my own words with a kiss on his lips, knowing whatever decisions we made this week, we would be ok.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-
 We were fine. Namjoon knew not to test my limits. He knew what was too much. He was patient, and caring, and everything else I never thought I deserved from a companion. Or a.... Well, not a lover, because we weren't lovers. We did hang out more often than not, but the words dating and boyfriend's never came up. So I wasn't sure what we were. But there was something that had been playing on my mind since I told Namjoon what I was. Before it was out of the question. Completely absurd. I was smarter than that. Would never do something so stupid... 
And Namjoon had taken to me being a vampire so well. He wasn't disgusted by me and his continuous show of affection had me changing my mind about the one thing I thought I would never do.

Sex, that is. With a human.

Specifically with him, because I couldn't even fathom wanting anyone else this way.

It had constantly been on my mind, thinking about how dangerous it could be. When I was with him, I would wonder if I could control myself. Purposely breathing in his scent deeper, as if I could get immune to it.

Namjoon never questioned me about taking things further and I loved that about him, but I did wonder if he wanted more.

My patience eventually ran out and asked him about it one night.

He picked me up at the dance studio and invited me to his home again. I slept at his place more than I did my own now.

There was some of my clothes in his closet, ones I'd left at his place after a shower and never took back.

I had my own toothbrush, and soaps, and lotions sitting right next to his on the bathroom counter.

It felt like we were becoming a couple.

"I even have my own spot on his bed," I thought, leaving the bathroom after my shower, and seeing Namjoon sitting on his side of the bed, laptop propped up in his lap.

Namjoon smiled at me when I slipped in beside him, peeking over to see he was working.

"Sorry," he murmured, tugging out his earbuds. "I always seem to be behind on my work."

"It's ok. I'm probably the reason for it anyway," I said, feeling guilty that I might be the cause of his stress.

"Well, I'm the one who always invites you over, so it's not really your fault." He chuckled as he said this, shutting the laptop and setting it aside.

Namjoon pressed a soft kiss to my temple that made me smile, taking his hand.

"Tired?" He asked, fingers stroking softly at the back of my neck, making me shiver.

I chewed on my lip, that thing ever on my mind. Wanting to ask but nervous.

Looking up at him, Namjoon's eyebrows we're furrowed. He knew something was bothering me, but didn't ask.

"Namjoon..."

I didn't even know if I was ready. Could I honestly control myself? Did I want to risk hurting him?

"What's wrong angel eyes?"

I gasped softly at the endearment, the softness - and...love? - In his eyes.

"I..."

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I smelled him. Warm and comforting and my jaw ached from the thirst.

"Namjoon... I want you to make love to me."

Namjoon's eyes widened and the fingers stroking at my skin stopped. "Are you sure about that? Is that really what you want?" His voice was barely above a whisper and I felt so small under his piercing gaze.

"If you want it. I know being a vampire-"

Namjoon cut me off by pressing his lips over mine. I made an unattractive nosie of surprise at the action.

"I don't care that you're a vampire. I need you to be sure about this. Our differences aside, do you want that with me?"

I smiled at that, feeling myself relaxe. "Of course. I only want you, Namjoon."

He returned my smile and released a heavy breath. "Ok. I want you too, so much."

I knew, but I loved hearing it anyway. But once more, I had to make sure. To know he understood what this meant.

"I could hurt you."

And there was Namjoon, pulling me into his arms, kissing me so softly it made me feel weak.

"We'll figure it out."

"Don't worry," Namjoon murmured into my ear. "I trust you."

He pulled back and looked at me until I nodded.

I didn't trust myself, but I had to believe him.

Namjoon got up from the bed and I frowned in confusion.

"I'll be right back," he said, on his way to the bathroom.

"N-Namjoon! You don't have to shower!"

I felt embarrassed and his laugh that echoed from the bathroom made my embarrassment worse.

He returned in a few seconds with something in his hand. "I'm not showering."

When he dropped those items on the bedside table and crawled back into bed, I understood why he had left.

"You don't keep those in the drawer," I asked, nodding towards the stand.

Namjoon chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "No. I don't really need lube right next to my bed. But I always keep it, just in case. And... Well, I had hoped...with you..."

"I get it."

Suddenly it was all so real. This was happening now, and I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm my nerves.

"We don't have to," Namjoon said softly, placing a hand on my thigh. I covered it with my own and shook my head.

"It's not that. I'm just nervous."

"I am too."

Looking up at Namjoon, I could see he was a bit nervous, but he mainly looked calm.

I squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"I need you to do something for me. I hate asking for this...but it might help me."

"Anything. What is it?" He was so quick to answer, and I knew I could ask him to go take a two hour shower right now, and he would, but knowing that didn't make me feel any better.

"I haven't fed."

Namjoon's eyes widened in understanding.

"In a long time. And...feeding now will probably help. I didn't feed before hand because... I thought feeding from you... It might make it easier if I taste you."

He thought about it for a moment, and nodded. "Ok. If that's what you need."

Namjoon looked down at himself for a moment, then asked, "Where do you want it."

I clenched my teeth together to keep my fangs from dropping prematurely. "Wherever your comfortable."

"The neck is fine."

I swallowed thickly, dug my fingers into my palm as I watched him shrug off his white T.

If I thought that honey skin ended at his collar, I was severely wrong. It stretched downdowndown over strong pecks and we'll defined abdominal muscles.

When my eyes dropped to the waist band of his shorts, I bet that color didn't stop there either.

"How should I..." Namjoon pulled me out of my thoughts and I snapped my eyes up to his, seeing him smile at catching me while I was looking him over.

"Uh, on your back. It might be the most comfortable for you."

He nodded and moved into the position I suggested, slightly propped up on the pillows.

I took one last deep breath, steadied myself, then swung a leg over his hips to straddled him.

My hand fell on his stomach to help keep my balance and I sighed at the soft skin and hard muscle that flexed under my touch.

Namjoon slid his hands up my thighs to help me get situated. He looked so beautiful, laying there underneath me, knowing what I was about to do and still so relaxed and pliant.

Or so I thought. I shifted further up so I could reach better, and my hand moved to his heart. It was racing.

I raised an eyebrow and Namjoon's composure snapped, releasing I laugh that shook me since I was sitting on him.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah, a little."

More like a lot, from what I could feel.

I leaned down a little closer and something like desire flashed in his eyes. I caught it right before I kissed him. It wasn't difficult to get my fangs to drop. With Namjoon, the thirst was always present, and there had been countless times when I had to struggle to keep it at bay.

I even woke up some nights, right next to him, with my fangs already dropped and had to leave the room to calm down.

Tonight it was easier than ever, knowing my fangs puncturing his skin was the goal here.

I pulled back from his lips as I let the thirst take over.

"Look." My voice was already raspy, and when Namjoon looked up at me, I parted my lips so he could see the fangs. His grip tightened on my hips and I forced myself to wait, give him a minute.

"I'm gonna try not to hurt you. There will be a little pinch, but if it gets to be too much, just shove me. I'll stop. I can stop."

Namjoon nodded, and my eyes that were already focused on his neck saw his Adams apple bob when he swallowed.

I took a deep breath and couldn't wait anymore, bending down and pressing my lips right over his pulse.

It hit me then, that ever since I first laid my eyes on Namjoon, I'd been longing to sink my teeth into his neck. Now, knowing that he was the man I probably loved, I couldn't wait another second.

My lips parted over his skin, and I knew the anticipation was killing us both, so I bit down.

The first thing I noticed was the burst of warm sweetness entering my mouth. If my eyes were open, I swear they would have rolled into the back of my head from the intensity.

The second thing I noticed was Namjoon throwing his head back with a groan, hips bucking beneath me. I was like a steel cage above him, so it didn't throw me off, but I pressed my hips down to hold him still.

He relaxed after that, panting softly against my shoulder. I grabbed his hand, hoping to anchor him, but also to hold myself in place.

Namjoon was the single most best thing I'd ever tasted. I always knew he would be sweet, just from his scent, but it was way better than my imagination.

If it tasted that good like this, how would it taste when his body was wracked with pleasure? I moaned into his skin at the thought, and knew know matter how much this quenched my thirst, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from biting down when he was.

I could have stayed like that forever, but didn't want to take away all of his strength.

Gently, I pulled my fangs from his neck, and lapped lazily at the would while they retracted.

A smile stretched my features, feeling - for the first time in forever - like my thirst was gone.

I trailed kisses down to his sternum, pressing my hands over his heaving chest, waiting till it changed into a soft rise and fall. Then I pulled back to look at him and see if he was ok.

His eyes were closed, a light sheen of sweat on his brow, and I brushed the few strands of dark hair that clung to his forehead away.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

His eyes cracked open and focused on me. "Fine. I think. You?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Not thirsty anymore."

"Do I taste good?"

Namjoon's eyes lowered, and I wasn't sure - maybe I had drank to much and he was just tired - but it looked like heat was in his gaze.

I licked my lips, noticing his eyes follow it. "Yeah, Joonie. You taste the best."

Then he was leaning up on his elbows, craning his neck and I met his lips, not wasting any time slipping my tongue between his. Maybe he could taste his blood on me but that excited me more, tangling my fingers in his hair to pull him closer. Now that I was fed, there was a new type of hunger on my mind.

"Off," he groaned, tugging at my hoodie, and I couldn't deny him that.

But first I pressed him back into the pillows wanting him to watch.

I arched my back a little as I pulled it over my head, this made my hips press down on his and we both sighed.

Finally ridding myself of the piece of fabric - it had been getting way too uncomfortable anyway - I turned my eyes back to Namjoon.

I wasn't one to be bashful but the way he was staring at me had a blush rising to my cheeks, thanks to the human blood in my system.

Namjoon reached up and cupped my cheek, wonder in his eyes.

"You're so warm," he breathed out, caressing his thumb over the flush that only increased.

"It's from feeding so well. I'm the most human right now, after feeding."

"...I didn't know."

His hand trailed down, over my neck, between my breasts, stopping right above my waist band.

"Beautiful," he murmured.

Then he was sitting up, rolling over, and pressing me into the mattress.

I though I liked him beneath me but I liked him between my thighs, leaning over me a lot better.

He retraced the path of his hand, this time with two and I gasped when his lips followed.

I could do nothing but melt at his warm touch, wet kisses and kitten licks making my stomach feel as if I were on a roller coaster.

Namjoon met my eyes for a second, then he moved to the side and was dragging the warm pad of his tongue over my nipple.

That had me keening, gripping soft sheets so hard I was surprised they didn't rip.

Namjoon sucked and pulled lightly on the nub with his teeth, and I whined in annoyance when he released it, but was quickly moaning again as he found the other nipple.

While his lips worked at my chest, his hands slid down my waist and fingers dipped inside my leggings, stroking over my hip.

I took that as an incentive to grind my hips up into his and was rewarded with a moan from him.

Namjoon faltered for a moment over my nipple but then he regained himself and bit down harder than he did on the other, and I threw my head back with a gasp. Tightening my legs around his waist.

Namjoon finally left my chest, leaning up to kiss me. My nipples felt overly sensitive when his chest brushed against mine and I made I noise of discomfort. Namjoon's grin broke our kiss and he chuckled.

"Sorry."

"Liar," I murmured, stretching my arms over his shoulders to pull him back into a kiss, not wanting any space between us.

But Namjoon was pulling away quicker than I liked, and I tried to pull him back but he gently removed my arms from his neck and smiled, sliding his hands down to my hips.

"Can I take these off?"

Oh. I looked down to where his thumbs were rubbing circles into the skin over my navel, and my hips jumped when he found a sensitive spot.

"Yeah, please."

I'd never been so nervous to have someone strip me, but it had never been like this with other vampires either.

Namjoon hooked his thumbs under my leggings, and tugged, surprising my when he pulled my boxers with it.

He paused, for me, and I lifted my hips to let him continue.

Once they were gone, Namjoon was sliding back between my bare thighs, eyes roaming over me.

I felt embarrassed being so exposed to his eyes.

"Perfect," he said, and the praises had butterflies bursting in my stomach.

Namjoon grabbed the lube and I was reminded of where we were going.

Without thinking, I sat up and stopped him with a hand on his chest.

He dropped the bottle on the bed and rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

"Hey, what's wrong? Do you need to stop." His voice was so full of concern and worry so I quickly shook my head.

"Namjoon... It's my first time with a human. I'm really nervous."

"Of course. I understand. We'll go slow."

I shook my head again. "It's not that. I'm nervous, because you're human

But I'm also nervous because it's my first time with the one I love."

I closed my eyes, pressing my hand to his heart, and waited.

The silence had me worried.

But then Namjoon was taking my face in his hands, lifting my head so I looked at him, and he was smiling.

"You love me?"

It was the worst time to start crying, but I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes.

"Yes. Possibly since forever. I'm not really sure."

Namjoon's smile only grew and he was pressing kisses all over my face, wiping away my tears.

"I love you too. Haven't stopped thinking about you from the moment I met you."

That confession only made me more nervous but I was smiling anyway, pressing my fingers into his dimples.

"Me too."

We kissed, once more, softly, and I didn't know a kiss could feel better when you loved each other, but it did.

"Wanna be good for you Joon," I whispered against his lips and he squeezed me in his arms.

"You are. Amazing baby. How do you wanna be? Like this? Or do you wanna sit on my lap?"

I was equal parts melting at the pet name and embarrassed at the question.

In his lap was probably the easiest, but I liked him over and around me so I shook my head.

"On my knees?"

"Ok."

He kissed my temple then helped me move as I'd said. I hugged a pillow and buried my face in it, feeling like the blush would never leave my face.

Namjoon gently nudged my legs apart and kneeled between them, soothing his hands down my back and pressing a kiss to the base of my spine.

His gentle touches we're definitely meant to calm me down, and I smiled in spite my embarrassment, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders.

Namjoon pulled back and reached for the lube again. I heard the distinctive snap of a cap opening, then closing. The pause that followed had me peeking back to see him rubbing the lube through his fingers, warming it up.

"You don't have to do that." My voice came out an octave higher than usual and the inferno in my face just kept increasing.

Namjoon smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek before settling back between my thighs.

"You know, I'm gonna treat you well, vampire or not. This isn't all about me. I want you to feel good too."

Sex for me had only ever been a race to the finish. Comfort and taking your time never occurred. It was selfish and your partner never mattered. All the vampire partners I had been with just used me for their pleasure, and I didn't care, because I was using them too. So Namjoon's words surprised me, and tears filled my eyes, but I hid them from him by pressing my face into the pillow.

It was a good thing I had, muffling my gasp when a warm and wet finger slid over my entrance. He moved it around, evenly spreading the lube, making my impatience rise. I pressed back into his hands and finally one of his fingers slipped inside.

It had been so long, but my body opened easily to the intrusion, and it felt good, but not enough.

Instead of giving me another, Namjoon just twisted that finger, pressing a little deeper, but he was just shy of where I wanted him.

Namjoon pulled out, and I thought he would have added another but that single finger slipped back in. I groaned on the next few thrusts.

"Namjoon..."

"You're so warm," he said, and I couldn't properly answer because another finger was added, just as wet as the other, just as hot.

I might have been warm, but I was sure I wasn't as warm as those two fingers were, twisting inside me to spread the lube.

My entire body shook when he brushed over my prostate and I cried out.

Namjoon's fingers instantly stilled, but he didn't stop, pressing them right into that bundle of nerves and gently massaging it.

It was too much, and I jerked forward, ending up hitting my head on the headboard. Namjoon wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back, pressing those fingers deeper and I let out a sob.

"Careful," he murmured, finally letting me recover from the tremors of pleasure wracking my body.

He pulled his fingers back from my prostate and started to scissor them, opening me for more.

I focused on catching my breath trying to understand what had just happened.

Pleasure had never been so close to pain yet felt so good.

"Enough," I gasped grinding back into his fingers. "It's enough."

Namjoon's fingers settled back over my prostate, and I was more prepared for it this time, arching my back and moaning.

"Haven't you ever heard of foreplay?" Namjoon leaned down, pressing his chest flush to my back, kissing the junction of my neck.

"Just relax and enjoy it. You can come if you want."

Those words, breathed right into my skin, made me think that I could, and soon.

I pressed into him as close as I could, groaning when he slipped a third finger in, steadily thrusting them into me now. Namjoon angled those thrusts right against my prostate, since he was more than familiar with where it was.

"Namjoon!" I whined, feeling so close, but just not able to go over.

His hand slipped underneath me and warmth was surrounding my length, a gentle grip and gentle strokes exactly what I had been missing.

"Don't worry, baby. I got you."

Those words rasped right against my ear, and a few twists of his wrist was all it took to have me spilling into his hand, so quick it was embarrassing.

I felt my entire body tense up as orgasm finally hit, then I was pressing back into his hands, panting and moaning as he worked me through it.

Namjoon caught me in his arms when I was spent and exhausted, collapsing from what would soon be the second most intense orgasm in my entire existence.

My mind was buzzing from being so completely satisfied, but then two things came to my attention.

One, was Namjoon. Pressed so closely together, I felt him hard against my backside, still half dressed, and muttering sweet words in my ear.

Second, I managed to not throw him off, bite, scratch, or hurt him in any other way.

I caught my breath, regained some of my strength, then pushed back.

Namjoon sat up and I had just enough room to turn around and press our lips together.

"I want you now, Namjoon."

Namjoon grabbed my wandering hands to still me and I pulled back to look at him in confusion.

"Hey, take you time. We don't have to do anything right now."

I smiled at his concern and laid back down, spreading my legs around Namjoon.

"Obviously you've never been with a vampire before." I said it in a joking manner, but then took his hand, more serious. "Really, Namjoon. You've made me wait long enough. I wanna make you feel good."

"I do," he said, but blushed and moved to take off the last pieces of his clothes.

I was right. His entire body was covered in warm, honey colored skin.

To busy admiring him, I missed him reaching for the other item he left on the bedside table, until I heard the crinkle of a packet.

Namjoon had the condom package in his hand, working it open.

"We don't need that," I blurted out.

His eyes snapped up to mine, questioning me.

"I mean.. vampires don't carry diseases. It's been too long for me to have one anyway, if it we're possible. And I can't catch anything form you, so..."

Namjoon's eyes widened and I quickly back tracked.

"I mean, if you want to! It's ok. We can use it."

Namjoon chuckled lightly and threw the condom back on the table.

"No, I don't want to. I just thought.... Anyway, I'm clean, just so you know. It's been to long for me to have anything too."

We were both the same then. It made me feel less nervous.

Namjoon rolled his shoulders, and I could tell being hard for so long was starting to affect him. He reached for the lube but I slid my hand over his to take it from him.

"Can I?.."

"Yeah, of course." He breathed a little heavier, bracing himself on his hands beside my waist.

I didn't want him to wait - or maybe it was me who didn't want to wait -, so I quickly poured a decent amount of lube into my palm (Namjoon seemed to like it wet, judging from time he'd spent slicking me up.)

I followed his example, spreading it in my palm, hoping I warmed it up enough for him, and wrapped my hand around his erection.

Namjoon visibly shuddered, and I don't think it was from cold lube.

Namjoon was definitely a handful. I liked the weight of him in my palm, and would have been more than content to pull him off and watch his expression while he came, but Namjoon deserved a lot more than a quick hand job.

So I kept my strokes light, focused on getting him slick.

Namjoon groaned, and that was my que to let him go, wiping my hand off on my thigh. It was kinda gross, but I thought he would like it.

Namjoon slipped his hands under my thighs, pushed them back towards my chest and fit himself into the space he created.

The stretch didn't bother me. I was flexible form the years of dance I'd done.

"You ok?" He asked, meeting my eyes.

I managed a smile, feeling my arousal rising. "Yeah. Want you Joon."

That was all he needed.

Namjoon leaned over me, pressing my legs closer to my chest, and his cock was pressing right up against my opening, then sliding in slowly.

It wasn't pain that had me groaning, gasping, throwing my head back. It was the extreme warmth, the stretch that felt just right. He was bigger than the three fingers he'd given me, and it felt amazing.

Namjoon pulled out once he was half way in, then slid all the way in till there wasn't an inch left.

My eyes widened, and I felt my jaw ache. It was too soon for that to be happening.

After burying himself inside me, Namjoon collapsed, pressing his fourhead into my neck and groaning.

I wrapped my legs around his waist shifted to get more comfortable and we both moaned when that caused him to grind deeper.

"Are you ok?" I asked, a little concerned since Namjoon hadn't started moving.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You're just...tight."

I'd never heard Namjoon whine before, but I liked it, clenched down on him just to hear him make another high pitched noise.

Once I'd relaxed again, Namjoon started moving, gentle thrusts, just like with his fingers. "Is this ok?"

"Perfect Joon."

I wrapped my arms around Namjoon's broad  back, up to dig into the skin of his shoulders, holding him closer. There would probably be marks in the morning.

Being pressed so close made Namjoon's movements slower, but honestly, we were so wound up that it wouldn't take much to send us over.

Even though I had already came, I felt another orgasm quickly approaching. Especially when Namjoon gave up on thrusting and decided to bury himself inside me and start grinding against my prostate.

It was scary how quickly my orgasm was coming, and I didn't want to do it alone, so I flexed my inner muscles, clenching and unclenching on Namjoon's length that felt like it was burning me from the heat of it.

"Fuck," Namjoon groaned, raw and hot right against my ear.

"Namjoon, I need you to come for me."

He breathed another filthy string of curses against my neck, and I heard my name mixed in there a few times.

Both of us were so close now...

And I knew exactly what would take us over.

I eyed a spot on his neck - the other side, not the side I had already bitten. Wouldn't he look beautiful with matching marks on each side of his neck?

That thought, along with our impending release had an ache forming in my jaw, and I let my fangs drop.

"Jimin," Namjoon moaned, and I sunk my fangs into his neck.

Namjoon's reaction was immediate. I felt every muscle in his body clench, then he was moaning and gasping into my neck as he reached his orgasm.

Tasting Namjoon's blood like this, spiked with pleasure and wonderful release brought on my orgasm. I held onto him tightly as he shook in my arms, groaning through a mouthful of blood.

Once my orgasm had ended, I let go of his neck, sucking over the wound to help the bleeding stop.

I felt proud of myself then, for not hurting him. He was there, in my arms, breath calming down, wet kisses being pressed to my neck.

I was happy, relaxed, and yes, so in love.

"Jimin..." Namjoon sighed, then said something that took my breath away.

"I love you," he whispered, soft, and warm, and somewhat broken, but honest and I knew he meant it.

I took a shuddering breath, and a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I love you too." More then I've ever loved anything else in the world.

It felt like my world had changed. Every rule I forced myself to follow was utterly broken and there was only Namjoon left.

Namjoon kissed away the tears, cooing nonsense into my skin.

"Why are you crying?"

I moved my hands up and cupped his cheeks, brushing my thumbs over hidden dimples.

Realizing he was mine. Completely mine. And I was his. More than having someone, belonging was even better.

"Because...I didn't hurt you. And you're not disgusted by me, and it's more amazing than anything I've ever experienced in my life."

Namjoon smiled and I felt those dimples blossom under my touch.

"These aren't the things you cry over Jimin. This is a moment to be happy. And I love everything about you."

My hands slipped away from his face as he sat back, looking down at me with softness and love in his eyes.

"I am happy. For the first time... something feels right." I shook my head, wishing I could stop crying.

"I feel like I'm not a monster."

"That's because you aren't, sweetheart." Namjoon gently, removed my legs from around his hips, then slid his softened length from my body, gasping at the sensitivity.

He laid down beside me and pulled me back into his arms. I was more than happy to go, snuggling into his chest.

"Thank you," I whispered, right against his clavicle.

"For?"

"Accepting me. Trusting me. Loving me. Gosh, for everything Joonie."

His arms were tight around me, but his touch was soft and warm. I felt safe, wanted, loved - not disgusted with myself.

"You know, you're beautiful and amazing and wonderful. You deserve all the love in the world.... But I hope you'll settle on just mine because I want you for forever and I'm not ok with sharing."

Namjoon held me impossibly closer, his possessiveness showing in the way he said those words.

I'd give him forever and more, if that's what he wanted. For him, I would do anything.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Namjoon and I spent the rest of the day settling in. I wasn't ready to confront Jin about the meaning of my visit. Or to answer the slew of questions I knew he wanted to ask. I couldn't face Yoongi this soon either, after the fight we had, so I hid in the room with Namjoon, avoiding all of my problems.

Namjoon wanted to unpack and "move in" as he had put it. Said it made it easier for him to relax if he felt like he was at home.

I'd never really felt at home where ever I went. Until I met him. But home wasn't the place we shared back in Seoul. Home, I discovered, was wherever Namjoon was.

Home was right outside the dance studio when he picked me up after my classes. Home was late night walks on the street, holding hands and cuddled up on a bench counting constellations. Home was sitting on an airplane with Namjoon's head on my shoulder, and right now, home was here in this unfamiliar bed with him sleeping in my arms.

Home felt like soft breaths and the warmth of Namjoon's body against my own. It was whispers of I love you, honey skin, and waking up to kisses and dimples and nothing but me and him and the space between my fingers that his fit between perfectly - the curves of my body that he filled with his own hard angles.

I pulled him closer to me, hearing him softly murmur in his sleep, and pressed my ear against his chest.

Always, always, wanted him a little bit closer. Just to feel him breathe and know that he's alive.

I counted the beats of his heart, a soft and beautiful lullaby that helped me sleep.

Sleep had a way of healing. Especially when it's next to the one you love.

A night spent unconscious in Namjoon's arms was usually enough to take away my worries and fears. And after the fight we had, waking up to him right where I went to sleep with him made me wonder why we fought at all.

"Hey," Namjoon whispered, sounding a bit groggy. But there was a twinkly in his eyes and a dimple on his cheek that made me feel so much more in love then I had been the day before.

"Hey," I whispered back, a little breathless and bashful. I brushed back his messy hair, leaning in to give him an Eskimo kiss.

"How long were you up?" It didn't seem that late in the day, but it was  cloudy here in London, so I couldn't judge what time it was.

"Just a bit," he said, brushing his fingers up and down my arm. "I was thinking about yesterday..."

I waited for the breakup question to come again, but it never did.

"I'm sorry." He breathed those words right against my lips, and I pressed my mouth to his swallowing them right off of his tounge, a little too rough, but I was so desperate to feel him.

"It's ok. We're ok. We always work through these things. I'm not upset."

I said those words with the same urgency as him, looking into those almond eyes.

"I still shouldn't have done that. Sometimes I just feel like you deserve so much better."

I pushed Namjoon down, rolling over to straddled his hips, taking his face to make him look at me.

"I feel the same about you, but that's nonsense. You've been so good to me."

Namjoon sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling into my chest.

"I know. But I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm gonna try to not think like that anymore."

"I'd still love you if you did. If you wanted to leave," I sighed, caressing over warm skin to press my fingers into his dimples. Not the ones on his cheeks. The ones on his back at the base of his spine.

Namjoon was always a little sensitivity there, and he jumped when I pressed down harder.

"I'd still love you too, if I ever left."

"Don't," I murmured, starting to forget the conversation and becoming more focused on him and kissing over his pulse. It was beating faster, because of me.

"I won't. That's why I need to drag you into the shower."

I smiled against his neck, feeling stupidly in love with him for saying something so cheesey.

"Fine. But you have to wash my back."

Namjoon chuckled and lifted me out of bed, carrying me towards the bathroom. "That's not a punishment."

I closed my eyes, giggling into his shoulder. I felt young and in love like two silly teenagers stumbling their way into their first shower together, as if we hadn't shared hundreds of them together already.

Just like that, Namjoon took away my fears and prepared me to face my problems, knowing he would be right there with me.

Jin invited us into the dining room for breakfast when me and Namjoon finally left the little safe haven we'd created upstairs.

Breakfast wasn't something a vampire did every day, so it surprised me. We could eat food, but it wasn't a necessity.

But Jungkook was with them now, so it must have become a habit. It had for me when I started living with Namjoon.

Yoongi's absence at the table was obvious. But I tried to not let that get to me, instead, I focused on Namjoon, making sure he ate properly.

He raised an eyebrow at me when I pushed some extra fruit onto his plate, spooning sugar into his usually black cup of coffee and even sliding a glass of orange juice towards him.

I would need to feed soon, and I always made sure his blood sugar levels were ok. It was going on three days, which usually wasn't a big deal, but I was feeling more anxious than usual.

I didn't want to make him faint because of it. He took care of my feeding needs, and I made sure to take care of his.

"Did you sleep good? Was the room ok?"

Jin's questions snapped me out of my thoughts, and I tore my eyes away from Namjoon, noticing I had been staring at him.

"It's great, thank you. And... Thank you for letting me come back."

"Of course. You're always welcome here Jimin," he said, reaching towards me, and I let him take my hand. He only squeezed it for a moment, then let go, turning his eyes to Namjoon.

"You never properly introduced your friend."

Namjoon looked up from his plate and dropped his fork in surprise at being brought up. I couldn't help but smile at him and the soft blush that covered his cheeks when he spoke.

"I'm Kim Namjoon. Uh, Jimin's...."

He looked to me for help, but I didn't know how to. Lovers or boyfriend's never we're the right words to describe our relationship. It was deeper than that, something difficult to explain.

"Everything," I whispered, putting my hand on his thigh under the table. Namjoon quickly covered it with his own.

"Tae understands," I said, looking at my best friend sitting right across from me, arm dropped over Jungkook's shoulders.

Taehyung gave me a soft smile, nodding his head. "I could tell the moment I saw you two. The way you look at each other.... Like your each other's begging and end."

Next to Namjoon, Taehyung understood me better than any one, and I could only smile in appreciation.

"I see," Jin murmured, still staring Namjoon down. It made me uncomfortable.

"I love him," I said, and that shifted Jins attention to me. "He's the most important person in the world to me."

Namjoon's hand squeezed mine just a little tighter.

"You didn't bring him here just to tell me that."

Jin was obviously right, but my nerves suddenly kept me from telling him the truth.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I lost touch for so many years, and that wasn't fair."

"I don't hate you for leaving. You needed space and I understood that. We all forgive you."

"Even Yoongi?" I couldn't stop those words but I wanted to somehow swallow them as soon as they were out.

"Yoongi...needs some time. He's upset, but he'll come around," Jin answered. I wasn't so sure.

"He misses Hoseok too," Taehyung quietly whispered."

I sucked in a breath, worry filling me.

Namjoon's head snapped to Tae in shocked confusion, then looking at me for clarity. "Hoseok?"

I was hoping it wouldn't get brought up. It was a secret I had kept from Namjoon, but I couldn't help it.

"He's... Hoseok's a vampire. When I moved to Seoul Jin didn't want me to be alone, so Hoseok went with me."

"Why didn't you tell me," he asked, brushing his fingers over my ear. He knew I was upset.

"I'm sorry Joonie. It wasn't my place to tell."

Namjoon gently pulled me towards him, placing a warm kiss on my forehead, comforting.

I hated keeping things from Namjoon.

"It's ok. I'm not mad at you. Just... I wasn't expecting that."

"Oh..." I sighed in relief, wanting to tell him how amazing and wonderful and in love I was with him, for loving me with all the secrets I kept and the things I'd done. But Jin was still waiting for my answer and Taehyung's words finally regestered in my head.

"What do mean Yoongi misses him?"

While the five of us had been living together, I never noticed any particular bond between them.

"They we're always close, before..." Jin didn't finish but he didn't have to. Before me, was obviously what went unsaid.

"Enough about that though. Why did you come back, not that we're unhappy to see you, but it surprised all of us."

The nerves we're back again, wondering what Jin would say.

"You can probably take a guess," I said, meeting his eyes. I could already tell from his expression that he knew, and he wasn't too happy.

"You want me to change him."

I flinched away from the harsh way Jin spoke, and Namjoon's arm was sliding around my waist, giving me some comfort. I focused on his scent for a moment before answering.

"That's not...we just want to know what we can do, what we should do."

Jin looked at Namjoon again. "Is that really what you want? You could easily leave, find someone else and live a normal life."

"I've honestly tried that. But I can't leave and I can't be with anyone else. I only want to be with Jimin. If I didn't we wouldn't be here."

I didn't expect Namjoon to say something like that. "He's right," I said, thinking back to our fights. "There's so many times where we both thought it would be better to split. But we can't." I looked at Jin, pleading. "You have to understand. You know what it's like with Tae and Jungkook. Don't tell me and Namjoon to break up."

Jin's expression broke and softened, looking over at the said couple. He loved Taehyung more than anything. I knew how protective and caring he was over him.

"What are they going to do? Break up as well? Do you want to see me and Tae heartbroken like that? You know how love is for a vampire."

Jin shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "No. Of course not. But you know how dangerous it is with a human. The only option is to change them."

"Are you goin to change Jungkook?"

"Jungkook is only 21. We're going to wait a few more years." Tae answered, and Jin nodded in agreement.

"They're waiting, to make sure that's what they really want. You have to be sure with this."

"I love Namjoon, of cou-"

"Do you?" Jin interrupted. "How do you know you'll still love him when he's changed? Will he still love you? Humans are addictive, Jimin. They are warm and alive. Will you want him when his cold and dead?"

I slammed my hands down on the table, ready to get up and yell at Jin for even thinking those words, but Namjoon grabbed me and held me back. It didn't stop my fangs from dropping or the hiss leaving my lips.

"You have no right to think that! You have no idea how I feel about him!"

Namjoon pulled me straight from my chair, right into his lap. I didn't realize how much I was shaking in anger until he was holding me.

"Calm down angel," Namjoon murmured against my neck.

The three other males were sitting back in shock at my outburst, and I grit my teeth together, trying to rein back in my temper.

"We know what we want, and that's each other. It doesn't matter that he's a vampire and I'm a human. It wouldn't matter if both of us were the same." Namjoon said, and I looked back at him, feeling tears well in my eyes. He just smiled with dimples so deep and love in his eyes that I just wanted to turn and kiss him.

"Ok, fine," Jin sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I'll support you no matter what decision you make. I'm tired of fighting, and honestly, I'm just so happy to see you again Jimin."

That was all I wanted. And I hoped he would believe in us to not make the wrong decision.

"Thank you," I whispered, suddenly feeling drained from the conversation.

"But there's things he'll need to know," Jin said, nodding towards Namjoon.

"You can call him Namjoon, you know?" It upset me that he still treated Namjoon like a stranger. "And we have all week to talk about that. Right now I'd really like to know where Yoongi is. I need to fix things with him."

I felt Namjoon tense beside me, and I didn't turn to see his expression.

I'm sorry.

Jin told me to look for Yoongi out in the yard and that's exactly where I found him, sitting on the deck and watching a puppy run around the in the fenced off area.

I gently brushed my fingers over his arm as a sat down. It was a weird way of greeting one another that we used to always do, because Yoongi wasn't one for useless words.

He glanced at me, and I was happy to see that he wasn't angry anymore.

"When did you get a dog?"

"A few years ago. His name's Holly."

"He's cute."

Yoongi nodded in agreement, and didn't say anything else. Silence never felt uncomfortable between us, but now it did because there was so much to be said.

"Say it," he murmured, knowing I knew what he meant.

I stared out at Holly, just like Yoongi, using him as a distraction.

"I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. And I'm sorry for hurting you. But I'm not sorry for leaving. I had too, and it lead me to Namjoon. I love him, Yoongi."

Yoongi sighed heavily, dropping his head and suddenly he looked so tired.

"I knew you would never be mine. And I always thought you would leave. I wanted to hang onto you anyway, but it was stupid."

"I'm sorry." I said, taking his hand.

Yoongi smiled briefly, squeezing my fingers.

"Forget it. It's in the past now." He paused for a moment shifting to look at me. "You were right. We we're just using each other. I always loved you, but not the way you deserved."

His small confession brought tears to my eyes. I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt nice, the way things had always felt with Yoongi. But not how they felt with Namjoon.

"You know I love you too. But yeah, not the way I love Namjoon."

"Does he give you everything you wanted?"

"More than that. And you'll find yours some day too."

Yoongi didn't answer, and I wondered back to what I had heard from Jin.

"Do you miss Hobi?"

Yoongi tensed at the name and didn't answer.

"Did you love him?"

His fingers squeezed mine tightly and I just stared down in shock.

"Hoseok deserves better than me."

"But..."

Yoongi took a while to answer, staring out in the yard like he was looking for answers.

"I always liked him, but he was too good. And when you came I thought I could erase him, but I ended losing both of you."

I'd never know that Yoongi had felt that way. And Hoseok never talked to me about Yoongi, so I had no idea how he felt.

"Have you ever told Hoseok? Do you know how he feels?"

Yoongi looked like he would answer for a moment but then he ruffled my hair and stood up. "Don't worry about it. I'll talk to him someday just...not now."

"Ok."

I watched him step out into the yard and call for Holly, stooping down to scratch his ears when he came.

Things seemed to be better between us, so I got up to go back inside, but Yoongi stopped me.

"Jimin? Hoseok's ok, right?"

I smiled. "He's great. We're ok, right?"

Yoongi turned back to Holly, but I caught his smile.

"We're great."

I went back inside and found Namjoon watching something on the TV with Tae and Jungkook. I went to him and kissed all the worry and doubt on his face away.

"Everything's ok. I love you."

Namjoon relaxed, hugging me tightly. He never had to worry. I loved Yoongi. But I loved Taehyung, Jin, Hoseok, and Jungkook too. Just not the way I loved him.

"I know. Just makes me nervous when you're around him."

"Yoongi's not that bad. I think you'll see that this week."

There was so much he needed to learn this week, but I wasn't worried. Namjoon had always taken things so well whenever I told him about me and my life as a vampire.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Flashback-
 Namjoon wanted to know everything about me. 
Who were my parents? Were they vampires too? What was it like being a vampire? Did the thirst ever go away?

He wasn't disgusted or freaked out by the fact that vampires existed and I was one.

I wondered where the heck he came from to be so amazing, because I had never met anyone like him in all of my existence.

Not even in my life before becoming a vampire.

I wish the story was prettier, but it wasn't.

Growing up, I never knew my father was a vampire, let alone that they existed.

But I did know that he loved my mom more than anything. More than me, even.

She got sick a year before my nineteen birthday. I just watched her grow weeker and weeker each day. Eventually she had to move to the hospital, and Dad would just sit there and hold her hand all day.

It was killing him and it was killing me because I wanted to help but never knew how.

They day she died changed everything.

My dad cried for hours, and after her funeral I literally watched him go insane the days that followed.

I left him be because I figured it was his way of grieving. But worry got the best of me. I tried to talk to him. We we're all we had left and I needed him.

I didn't expect him to hit me. I didn't expect the red in his eyes or the fangs peeking out from parted lips. I didn't expect him to blame her death on me.

"I could have changed her," he'd said. "But she wanted to stay human for you."

Only one thing regestered in my mind. My father was a vampire.

I'd never been scared of him before.

He grabbed me and there was nothing I could do, because he was too strong. When he bit me I thought he was going to kill me.

He would drink all my blood and that would be it. I cried. Because all I knew is that he was in pain, and I was the cause of it. But I wasn't mad at him, I couldn't hate him for this.

"You remind me so much of your mother," he'd said once upon a time.

He probably couldn't even stand to look at me now.

When he let me go I wondered why? He could have killed me so easily. Later I would find out that death would have been a blessing.

"One day, you'll know how it feels," he said, and left me clutching at my neck on our living room floor.

It burned. Why did it burn so much? Somewhere betweens screaming and crying I passed out.

It didn't take long after I woke up to realize I was a vampire, with a thirst like I had never felt before.

My life had completely changed in an instant and as thirsty as I was, I was scared. I didn't know what to do and hid in my room.

It was two days later when my friend showed up at the house. I was so thirsty at that point that I couldn't help it. I drank from him without thinking.

I couldn't even be disgusted because he tasted so good.

I almost killed him.

But someone stopped me. Suddenly there was a new body pinning me down and shoved their wrist against my mouth. I bit down on that flesh and the taste was even better then my friend had been. This one was so sweet, cool instead of warm and the thirst finally stopped.

When I came back to my senses I momentarily freaked out to see him with his lips pressed to Taehyung's throat. I thought he was killing him, so I tried pulling him away.

When he finally stopped he shoved me away, letting out a low growl.

"I'm trying to save him ok? You're lucky I came by or he would be dead."

"Who are you?" I asked and damnit I was crying, so scared.

"Relaxe. I knew your father."

"Knew?"

The mysterious man sighed, looking down at Taehyung who lay unconscious in his arms.

"Your father killed himself."

I froze. My mother and father... All I had ever know was gone.

"I came here because I knew about you and I was worried. It's a good thing I did."

"Who are you?" I asked again. "And what's wrong with Tae?"

"I'm Jin. And your friend is going to be ok." He said but there was a sadness in his eyes.

"What did you do?"

"You nearly killed him. So I'm saving him. Hell be just like us."

Vampire.

I slowly stood up, shaking my.head. No. I wanted to go back. I didn't want this. Not for me, not for my best friend.

The man, Jin, gently laid Tae down, standing and pulling me into his arms. I was too weak to resist.

"I know you're scared. But it's going to be ok. I'm going to take care of you."

There was nothing I could do but let him hold me and cry until Taehyung woke up, just as scared as I was. And I knew it would always be my fault.

He didn't hate me. Just like I didn't hate my father. He caused this but I couldn't be angry at him, not when I'd seen his pain over losing mom.

They we're gone but now I had a new family.

Jin took care of me and Tae and I loved him more and more everyday for being a father figure, but more than that. For being a friend.

I'll never know how much I hurt him when I decide to leave.

He asked me why I had to go and tried to change my mind so many times.

As selfish as I felt, I was suffocating. I couldn't stand who and what I was. I just wanted to be a normal person, and live a normal life.

Before I became a vampire I had loved to dance. So when I found a school in Korea for contemporary dance, I used that as an excuse to leave.

I didn't tell Namjoon all of that right away. Not about Taehyung, not about Hoseok, and definitely not about Yoongi. I knew someday I would have to tell him the whole truth, but it wasn't right now.

I don't think they'll ever know how thankful I am for letting me leave. It led me to Namjoon, and falling for a human was scary but I loved him. And I felt happy for the first time in my vampire life.

I could worry about the bad things later. In this moment I just wanted to enjoy the good.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"What makes a pureblood?" Namjoon had asked the question that night after I fed. I just let my fangs retract, gently licking at the bite while it still bled. He was laying on his back, letting me straddled his hips. It was my favorite way to feed, because when I finished, I could lay my head on his chest, listen to his heart beating, feel how solid and real he was.   
But tonight instead of snuggling into his chest and waiting for either a different kind of thirst to arise, or sleep to take over, I was rising halfway to look at him.

Namjoon reached out to gently wipe his thumb over my lip, removing any leftover blood and letting me lick it clean.

"What do you mean?" I asked, words a little slurred from me talking around his finger.

"Are they born? Can vampires conceive children."

I watched him for a moment, thinking it over in my head.

"Female vampires can conceive. And male vampires can have children with human females. But that doesn't make a pureblood. If a human and a vampire have a child, the baby could be either of the two. Just like if a blue eyed and Brown eyed couple have a baby, their child could have either eye color.

"If two vampires have a baby, they will concieve a vampire. But that baby would be just like me. Created, and not a pureblood."

"So?" Namjoon asked, hands gently kneading the muscles in my thighs.

"So. Only two purebloods can concieve a pureblood. That's why there aren't many. We can't control who we fall in love with so two purebloods rarely get together."

Namjoon remained quiet after that, seeming fascinating by the curve of my hip, not that I minded.

I bounced lightly in his lap, just to draw his eyes back to mine. "Joonie. What are you thinking about?"

"Do you want me like that?"

He didn't have to clarify. I knew what he was asking. But I just pressed my hands against his stomach, and didn't answer.

"Would you rather I stay human, or do you want me to change?"

Jins words must have gotten to him if he felt the need to ask that.

"I want you, Namjoon," I said simply. And there was nothing else that needed to be said. "What do you want?" That's what mattered, because it was his life, and I would be there with him no matter what he decided, as long as he let me.

Namjoon's response was immediate. "You." Of course. He sat up to kiss me sweetly.

"I want to be with you forever."

"Then be with me forever."

He searched my eyes, looking for an answer or a meaning behind my words but I knew he would only find love and trust in my gaze.

"Jimin... I want to be with you forever...and then long after that."

I took a deep breath, trying to swallow down my emotions. I didn't want to cry.

"Is that ok?" He asked, like he needed permission and I laughed in a sad kind of way.

"More than ok. But you don't have to change for me. We can still be together and I'll love you every day, I-"

"Jimin," Namjoon shushed, cupping my cheek. I wasn't crying, but I felt like I could. "I want to. Not for you. But for me, because I need to be with you longer than this life will allow me."

I thought about it. Namjoon. Mine for longer than forever. I pulled him tightly against my chest, thought about being able to hold him like this for...well, whenever and for as long as I wanted.

If that was what he wanted, then this is what I wanted. Him, happy, mine, always.

"Ok. We'll talk to Jin tomorrow."

Namjoon caressed his hands up an down my back soothing out the tension in my body.

"I'm scared," I admitted.

"Don't be," he said, muffled against my shoulder. "I'll still be me. I'll still love you."

I'd broken so many rules with Namjoon already. And I was finally crossing the last one off. But I didn't feel sorry for killing him. I wondered if that made me a monster.

Namjoon wasn't nervous, scared, rethinking and changing his mind. At least he didn't appear to have those feelings, all which I did have.

Taehyung was more than excited for us. Jungkook seemed worried but also happy that he could see someone go through it before him. Yoongi didn't say much, but he wasn't upset like I thought he would be.

Jin tried once again to change our mind, mildly frustrated with us but gave up and agreed to change Namjoon.

I was the only one actually upset. Because I remember being changed and the pain that led up to it and the way i suffered after. I didn't want that for Namjoon.

I had to remind myself that this was a different circumstance. And he wouldn't be alone when he woke up, like I was.

"Does he get how this works?" Jin asked me, rolling up his sleeve, ready for when he had to bite it and let Namjoon drink.

"He knows."

Namjoon took my hand, offering a little smile. I should be the one comforting him.

Taehyung stayed since I asked him to, standing a few feet away from the bed where me, Namjoon, and Jin sat.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" Jin asked Namjoon once more. His eyes were already glowing, fangs peeking out, maybe to try and scare Namjoon. But he wouldn't be scared by that. He had seen me looking like that many times.

"Yeah. Minnie?"

He squeezed my hand. I let my eyes wander over him, taking in his features like I would never see him again. I slid my hand to his wrist, feeling his pulse beating softly. Then I leaned in and kissed him once, forcefully. Sliding my tongue between his lips to taste his heat, then moved down to bury my head in his neck, skin hot against my forehead.

"Baby?" He whispered with worry in his voice, and I smiled, pulling back.

"I'm ready."

Jin looked at me, waiting as long as he could for one of us to say 'stop.' but we didn't.

Finally he turned to Namjoon and leaned towards his neck. Namjoon stiffed at the closeness and I saw fear flicker in his eyes for a moment.

"Wait!"

Jin pulled away from Namjoon in an instant, like he had been physically shocked by my words, and Namjoon's eyes moved to meet mine, full of worry.

He pulled me into his arms, pressing kisses into my hair.

"What's wrong angel?"

I sighed, gently pulling back to look at him. "I just..." My eyes fell to his neck. "I want to bite you first." That was half of the truth. I really just wanted to taste him, once more.

Jin sighed heavily beside us. "Jeez, Jimin...."

"I thought you changed your mind," Namjoon said, both of us ignoring Jin.

"No. But is it ok if I...." Namjoon nodded, not needing me to finish to understand what I wanted.

I found his pulse and pressed my lips gently over it, the place I'd bitten him so many times. When my fangs sank into his skin, Namjoon didn't even make a sound. He was so familiar with my bite that it didn't cause him pain, and I was always gentle.

It felt good, and tasted even better. I'd fed just last night but I could never get tired of drinking from him. I moaned at the familiar feel of it on my tongue, and flushed immediately since Jin was right there, but pressed further into Namjoon's neck, sucking a little harder. He made a noise of his own, and I knew I was taking more than usual. Pleasure always felt more intense when one was light headed.

I savored every mouthful of his blood, Knowing it would be my last taste of him as a human.

I pulled away with regret. I never wanted to stop, but I couldn't push it. Namjoon looked pale from the loss of blood.

I licked over the wound to clean up the last drops, not leaving anything for Jin.

Once I moved back Jin took my place after I nodded in consent.

Namjoon winced when Jin bit him. Even though I had prepared him, it was different. It wasn't me biting him.

I sat impatiently, waiting. I didn't know why Jin was taking so long. I remembered it being almost immediately when I was changed. But it was so long ago that maybe it was longer then it had felt then.

But my impatience got the best of me and I was just about to pull Jin off, thinking he got distracted and was just drinking from Namjoon.

Namjoon beat me though, shoving Jin away and grabbing his neck with a groan. He leaned over into my lap and I stroked my hands through his hair, remembering the pain well.

Namjoon's scent was already strong in the air but another one joined it.

Jin bit his wrist and shoved it under Namjoon's mouth. He was still perfectly human so he gagged at the strong copper taste.

"Drink baby," I murmured bending over to cover his body with mine. "It'll help. I don't want you in pain."

Namjoon managed to swallow a few mouthfuls, gagging and groaning at the pain starting in his neck.

Jin pulled his wrist away and now Namjoon let out a pained cry without something blocking his mouth.

Then I realized his shirt was wet for some reason. When I pulled back I noticed it was from my own tears. I looked at Jin and he just had a sad expression on his face.

Pushing Namjoon onto his side to lay down I wrapped my arms around him trying to hold him still, kissing over the wound Jin had left. At least he wasn't pushing me away. I felt Taehyung sliding behind me holding me while I held Namjoon, helping me breathe a little easier.

"Sleep," I whispered to Namjoon, begging for him to go unconscious soon so he didn't have to be in so much pain.

I remembered something my mother always told me, and I squeezed Namjoon tighter at the memory.

"Everything will be better when you wake up."

Hopefully.

The wait for me was agony. I hated seeing Namjoon like this. Usually I loved him unconscious, when it was because of sleep. His features would soften and his breath would even out, peaceful and beautiful and I loved him that way.

But this had me nervous. Namjoon was too still, body tense and fingers gripping my hand tightly.

"Don't worry Jimin. Your vampire will wake up soon," Taehyung said, rubbing his face against my neck. Jin had left but Taehyung had thankfully stayed with me.

I leaned back into his touch, thinking his words over. "My vampire..." It sounded strange to me.

Namjoon's scent had already started to change. No longer the heavy, warm, earthy scent that I had grown addicted to over the years. It was still him, but muted in a way, not as tempting as it always was. But more comforting and subtle.

I brought his his wrist to my nose, taking a deep breath. I wanted to memorize his new scent.

Namjoon's fingers suddenly tightened on mine, and it hurt. A pained gasp left his lips and my eyes snapped to Namjoon's face.

He was awake, eyes glowing like I'd never seen before, sharp fangs peeking from parted lips.

Taehyung slowly slipped away from me, and with one look at him he seemed to understand to get Jin, in case something went wrong.

As much as I wanted to pull Namjoon into my arms and hold him, I didn't. I didn't want to overwhelm his new senses.

Namjoon's eyes flicked around the room, taking in everything for the first time.

He was beautiful.

"Namjoon...." I quietly called his name, knowing he would hear me, and his eyes immediately found mine, and he froze. The harsh panting, his tight grip on my hand....

And my breath also stopped. So did my heart but then it was beating fast in my chest.

Namjoon's eyes fell to my neck and I knew he was thirsty. My world flipped, and Namjoon was sitting above me, pinning me down. The movement made me dizzy. His new born strength and speed was no match for mine. Trying to push him off would be useless...I didn't want to anyway.

"Baby, I know you're thirsty. It's ok, just-"

Namjoon's fangs were sinking into my neck before I could finish my sentence. I cried out in pain because Namjoon wasn't gentle, and he dug his fangs deeper, successfully making the bite wider and more blood to flow from my skin.

Jin burst into the room and his eyes widened when he saw the position I was in. I quickly held up a hand, knowing Jin was about to rip Namjoon off me.

"Don't you dare stop him!" I growled, smoothing my hands through his hair, wincing when Namjoon bit again. Biting once was enough to let the blood flow. It made feeding longer and more enjoyable. But Namjoon was practically chewing on my neck, desperate for more.

"Relaxe Joonie. You're hurting me baby," I murmured, managing to keep my voice steady even though there were tears welling in my eyes.

My words must have gotten through to him because his harsh bites stopped, and a moment later he removed his fangs, sucking sloppily at my neck.

I sighed in relief, closing my eyes. I felt Namjoon pull away and then his bloody lips we're pressed into mine, and I let him kiss me as he wanted, pulling him closer.

Gone was his firey warm skin and his deep heady scent. Now he felt neutral, comfortable, like touching my own skin. And it felt so nice.

Namjoon broke the kiss, and I could see the haze leaving his eyes, that his thirst induced frenzy was finally receding, and I smiled.

Once Namjoon's eyes seemed to focus on me, and what was happening, fear filled them. He made to pull away, but I grabbed him, keeping within my reach.

"I know everything feels and looks and sounds new to you, but it's ok Joonie. I'm here."

Namjoon quickly shook his head, trying to pull away again, but I managed to hold him still.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hating the distance. I always hated any space between us but now more than ever.

"I hurt you." His voice sounded a little raspy and his eyes were franticly looking over my body, like he was looking for other ares that were hurt.

"It's fine. You didn't really hurt me. This will be gone by tomorrow."

I was worried about him. I didn't expect everything to be fine when he woke up, but he looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

I slowly moved towards him, pulling his head down to my chest. "Close your eyes, ok?" Namjoon gently nodded his head, otherwise Frozen in my arms.

"It's all a lot to take in right now. But it's going to be fine. Just feel me. Feel how strong our bond is now?" I kept my voice low, stroking my fingers through his hair, feeling his body relax.

Namjoon tilted his head to look at me with a little frown. "Yeah. I can feel it. It's....hard to explain. Why?"

I guess it was something I had never told Namjoon, and I smiled, kissing his nose.

"Vampires mate for life Joonie. Humans don't do that. I think I already bonded with you before, but it didn't mean much.  And now you're a vampire too, so the bond is on both sides."

Namjoon dropped his head on my shoulder, arms coming to hug me a little too tight, but I liked it. Liked feeling breakable for once in my vampire life.

"I love you," Namjoon murmured. The sudden confession surprised me, bringing tears to my eyes.

He was still my Namjoon, still Joonie to me and..... "I love you too."

I didn't see Jin's pleased smile, or Jungkook peeking into the room in fascination, or Taehyung standing there, staring at his boyfriend with hope and love in his eyes.

I forgot about them. All that mattered now was me and Namjoon and the places where our skin met.   
One thing would always be certain.

I love Namjoon. Somehow, he loved me too.

And somewhere along the way, with his help, I learned to love myself - vampire and all - as well.

~End~