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Two men grunted as they took handfuls of each other's clothing and attempted to wrestle the other to the ground. Then the tall one released a hand-hold and used it to start jabbing the other man in the ribs. Then the shorter one releases both hands and grabbed the other man's hair, bringing his face down sharply onto his bent knee. Blood flowed from the tall man's broken nose and he staggered backward. And that seemed to be the end of the little scuffle. Short, violent and bloody. Neji never argued with his fists but his words packed a powerful punch. Carefully spoken, without drama, his words had an air of finality to them and no matter how hard he railed against them, nothing would change his mind. Neji lay back on the floor in defeat, no matter how hard it was he wasn’t going to give him the benefit of the doubt; a fair fight, the man glanced down to Neji’s flaccid but still alive form. “Friday.” the man reiterated with a minute growl, “He wants his money back. You of all people know you can pay it back, Hyuuga.” Neji had white knuckles from clenching his fist too hard, and gritted teeth from an effort to remain silent, his hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent. His face was red with suppressed rage, and when suigetsu even set a finger on his shoulder, he swung around and mentally snapped. “I can. I could. But I will not.” Suigetsu rose a leg, kicking Neji harshly around the face with a shout,”Orochimaru will not show as much mercy as I have.” Suigetsu threw a piece of paper at Neji who stared at It blankly, upon noticing his confusion suigetsu spoke again, “You will be at that place, on Friday with that amount you owe.” The sound of a car pulling up to the alleyway at the side of the grungy, dingy bar. “Remember.” In his own arrogant triumph, though he had been defeated, he smirked - just a small pouting of the lips; a narrowing of the eyes and a tilting of the head. It was so subtle, it was even more infuriating for Suigetsu who caught a glimpse of it after making the foolish mistake. Neji glanced over, his face cast as dead-pan as he could manage, yet he failed. There at the corner of his would-be light-toned lips was a crease of amusement. Suigetsu approached, Neji was close to changing that disposition when his balled fist collided with his cheekbone. A sudden gush of pain jolted throughout Neji’s body. His stomach ached, his arms lost tension and his legs began to weaken. "He will not get the better of me," he thought as he dropped back to the ground. His tongue was soaked in the taste of blood. Bruised and winded, with a leg in agony, he grabbed the left corner of the now blood-splattered paper and stared. His head was pounding. Suigetsu had entered the black SUV and before Neji knew it the car was gone and he was left alone again. He stared at the figures until his eyes glazed over and the numbers blurred into gibberish. No matter how he worked and reworked them he was head and shoulders submerged in red oxygenated blood. Neji couldn't help but compare the night with his own state of mind. Just like those clouds, his insides were in a chaos. Maybe this was how you dealt with grief, take out loans, choose not to pay them back, argue constantly with friends and family. Greif ruins a person and Neji couldn’t help but agree. The smell of iron and a hint of smoke brought to his senses. Cigarette smoke waltzes in with an odor as repulsive as sewage, depositing its micro-layer of jaundiced tar. Neji’s lilac eyes flickered up, still hazy and detached. His eyes wandered to where the smoke was emitting from. At the end of the alleyway a figure silhouetted out of the darkness, the figure slowly roamed towards Neji’s very much alive body. He crouched down beside Neji’s still flaccid body, he responded with shallow breathing. “Are you okay?” When the man finally spoke Neji identified his voice as bored, monotonous and mildly chilling, Neji in response dead-panned, “Do I look okay? ‘cause I sure as hell don’t feel okay.” The man waved his sarcastic question off and replied with another, “Do you need some help?” Neji stares back at him with a confused but disgusted stare, the man finally realizes his mistake. “Let me help you up.” The man puts out his cigarette by squashing it against the glistening gravel. He then secures his hand around Neji’s left arm to help him up. Neji responds with a small grunt but gives into the man's request. When Neji finally gets to his weak feet The man's hands lingered on his upper arm, “You can let go.” Neji staggered towards the door of the bar with a hesitant push he opened the door in which the mysterious man followed suit. He sat on a bar stool a straight across from where the bartender was serving. The bartender notices him not batting an eyelid at how he looks; beaten and bruised. He raises a hand to say hello which Neji acknowledges. He waves back, then takes a limping step and hisses when he puts his foot down a little too hard on the chairs metal bar, “Fuck.” “Careful,” The man says sharply, but the man reinitiates his grip tightening it, he hoists Neji up a little higher, and Neji swallows the ragged sound that wants to slip out at the feel of the callous hands on his bicep. “I can call someone to check you over.” Glancing away, Neji makes a dissatisfied noise, but his gaze automatically goes to the bartender who eventually comes over. “What can I get you this time, Neji?” “Ah. White Wine,” He casts a look over to the man who helped him, “Do you want anything?” “Bourbon.” After the bartender took the order he began preparing the drinks, “What’s your name?” “Shikamaru.” Shikamaru waited a few seconds before adding, “Do you want me to call a cab for you after you finish your wine?” “No.” “You sure?” “Positive.” “What happened out there?” Neji grits his teeth, “I don’t see how it’s any of your business?” He counters clasping his cold glass. After downing it all he glances to his watch, “Though I better getting going,” “I think you should go to the hospital they did a number on you.” Shikamaru insisted with a warming smile Neji paid no attention to. “I think I shouldn’t if I do my uncle will be called and…I don’t want to trouble him so late at night.”Neji winced at his pitiful tone. “Allow me to take you home and clean you up?” “Someone will pick me up.” Neji snapped, upon noticing Shikamarus mildly hurt frown he silently apologized, “if he puts your mind at ease I’ll wait until they pick me up.” “Good.” Neji pulled up his contacts and messaged a person who would definitely collect him from the bar.
Neji [Sent 22:32]
I know you probably don’t want to speak to me of you but...
I really need someone to speak to and I don’t want to go home.
Neji patiently waited for the response feeling slightly pathetic.
Lee [Sent 22:35]
Where are you?
After texting lee his location he glanced at Shikamaru who seemed to be getting an eyeful from a blonde hair lady at the end of the bar, Shikamaru made no intention to turn and converse with her. “I think she’s staring at you for a reason.” Shikamaru sighed then followed it up with a disinterested shrug, “Not interested,” “She’s practically fawning over you—the least you could do is say hello, or put her out of her misery,” Neji says dryly. “Why don’t you speak to her, a good looking guy like yourself could have a chance.” “I’m hardly up to par, I look too damaged to speak to her.” He protests, “And she’s not my type or my gender preference.” “I see.” “I see?” “Yeah, I see.” Neji waited for him to elaborate, “I see that you're into men?” “What about you?” Neji asked borderline bored and curious, Shikamaru stared back and pondered on the question, “Men—Women whoever catches my eye.” “Do I catch your eye?” Neji asked without taking into consideration the damage done to his face, Shikamaru became uncharacteristically quiet. “I mean apart from the busted lip, bruised eye and cheek and probably bruises under the blood splatted—.” “I heard it’s what’s inside that count, my personality blocks out these minor imperfection’s, right?” Neji interrupted. “What I was going to say was, probably under all of that you probably are an alright guy,” Shikamaru explained awkwardly, “what I’m trying to say is-“ Neji’s phone buzzed clinching itself on his empty glass, he glanced at the text that cast a sad smile at the other. “I’m afraid our conversation like many things has to come to an end; my rides here.” Neji bowed in thanks for Shikamaru’s trusting hospitality. “Troublesome.”Was Shikamaru’s Silent but ocularly visible response. “Your number?” Shikamaru requested, “So I can check if you got home okay.” “Yeah.” Neji grabbed a permanent market from over the bar counter scribbling his number onto a slightly wet napkin. “Thanks.” “Hey Shikamaru, thanks for helping me out I really needed that, you cheered me up.” Neji grinned at him and began heading to the door, but before he did he bent down to Shikamaru’s ear, “Hey she looks pretty cute, won’t you give her a chance. Ask her out for dinner, Red Wine is for fine dining.” He whispered before shooting a polite smile to the blond girl who stared at him confused. He opened the door and saw a familiar black Audi, he sauntered up to the door opening the passenger side door, “Thanks for getting me, I appreciate it.” Lee finally looked at Neji’s beaten face, Lee squeaked, “Neji! I’ve told you about getting into fights, Don’t!” He shouted Neji sat there allowing himself to be berated. “I know these past weeks have been hard for you but this rebellious stage needs to stop.” “I know, I’m trying.” “It’s getting ridiculous! Youth is what we are not rebellious adolescent punks.” Neji sighed, “I know.” Neji was grateful for Lees scolding because it reminded him of his late father always striving to put Neji on the best possible path. “Neji.” Neji looked at the other, “I’ve never lost someone close to me so I don’t know what you're going through. I know your father meant a lot to you and you having a hard time comprehending it, I think you should speak to your-“ “Not. Happening.” Neji growled Lee swallowed thickly regretting what he was still going to say next, “Uncle, your family I’m sure they are hurting as much as you.” Neji didn’t respond but turned to look out of the window into the black night, lit with street lamps. “Uh…I guess I should take you back to my place, I’ll clean you up, I wouldn’t want your cuts to get infected.” “Okay, thank you, Lee.” He sank into his seat, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” Lee let out a Booming laugh, “I bet. We will be at my place in twenty.” Gazing straight ahead, only half-aware of a world outside the claustrophobic comfort of the car, of Lee’s large hands, stroking the wheel, the almost soundless changing of the gears, the pattern of traffic lights. Sometimes Neji would ask himself how did he get into this mess? But he knows to damn well how he did. To tenacious, to vivacious, too stupid.
It has been hours since Neji's been gambling against Orochimaru, he would not give up on the opportunity to win against the snake.
Orochimaru keeps teasing-taunting him about not being able to dominate a game, win a game; he’d always lose. He'll show Orochimaru wrong. ‘I'm getting short on chips’ Neji grumbles.
Neji knew that he needed to win this now. It was all or nothing.
"I bet all my chips." Neji proclaimed as he shoved the remaining chips onto the table.
"Oh! What an interesting play," Orochimaru hummed, tapping his cards on his lips, his golden eyes pierced through Neji
Neji kept a straight face. Frankly, his hand was shit. All he could hope for was Orochimaru's hand is worse than his; it was not likely.
"I'll guess I'll bet everything too!"
Neji groaned. This meant that Orochimaru had somewhat of a decent hand to be able to confidently bet everything. ‘But then again, this is Orochimaru, I doubt he actually has a bad hand.’ He thought.
Neji inhaled shakily. He only had a pair of twos, he could only hope that Orochimaru had a worse hand: that couldn’t be possible.
At this point, it was all based on luck. He stared at Orochimaru across from him, who gave him an innocent smile in return.
Damn it, I'm going to lose for sure.
Nonetheless, Neji laid down his hand.
"Showdown"
Neji's eyes were squeezed shut, ready for the worst. But then Orochimaru laughed; deep and sinister.
"It looks like you've lost, Neji!" Neji cracked open an eye and looked at the cards Orochimaru had laid down. He had a pair of eights. Neji's eyes shot open, and Orochimaru smiled again, his sharp teeth bared for all to see.
“So…” Orochimaru leaned over the table grinning with a mischievous look in his snake pupils, “How will you pay me?”
“We are here!” Lee exclaimed taking his hands off the steering wheel, tapping Neji to pull him back to his senses. Neji lifted his head and turned to look at the apartment building, Neji stared back at the apartment building then twisted to cast a look over to Lee. “Why are we at Gaara’s? I thought you were escorting me back to your place.” “I thought I told you?” “Told me what?” Lee smiled, “We moved in together.” “About time,” Neji joked whole-heartedly, “I’m happy for you guys.” Neji ruffled Lee’s black hair, Lee leaned into the touch. Neji after all the years of knowing Lee was still surprised how child like the bushy-browed adult was.”So, You want to come in and I can clean you up?””Yeah.” Let’s get this over with, he thought.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
RECAP — CHAPTER 1
It’s okay.
It will be fine.
He is just so tired. There are days the tiredness comes in both forms, physical and mental. His body needs to rest yet his mind needs it to move, to burn the anxiety right out. Without exercise his mind would keep him up all night long, without rest his body will spiral into exhaustion. His mind traveled back to his father in his sleep, just what would he think of him, his only son wallowing in self-pity. His weak. His disgusting. Such things he has indulged in over the past weeks were beneath him."Father." He mumbles in his sleep, "I'm sorry." Even in his sleep, he needs the reassurance of his father. 'Neji, Don't worry.' his mind-forged his fathers' voice to relieve him and give him access to the sleep that awaited him so close but yet so far. The velvet voice brings the familiar statement, words as familiar as the voice of a trusted companion. In moments he was asleep, body relaxed, breathing steadily.
END RECAP
"Payment?” Orochimaru asked eagerly.
Glancing at his cards on the table, Neji scowled. "You're not cheating, are you?" he asked, and Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "I don't cheat, Neji," he said.
Neji’s scowl deepened.
"You're just bad at it, have you got so little faith in me?.” Neji picked up Orochimaru’s card Stared at them in disgust then dropped his cards on the oak table and flopped down on it. "It's just a stupid game, such a game should be beneath me.”
"And still, you worry about me cheating? Even though it's just a 'stupid game'?" Orochimaru asked, moving and making himself comfortable on Neji’s waist. Neji shivered at the unwanted contact, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch me in such ways,” he pulled Orochimaru’s very much unnaturally pale hands from around him.
“I assumed with the stalling you had little money to pay me back with, am I wrong?”
Neji growled, “Of course not, I can pay you if I please and if I’m willing.” He placed a firm hand on the table in front of him beginning to stand up, Orochimaru halted him by pushing him back to his seat.
Neji turned his head to look away.
“Well, if your not willing to pay with your money or shall I say your father's money,” Orochimaru grabbed Neji’s unmarked chin, his nails if any sharper could have penetrated his skin. His snake-like tongue slithered out of his mouth as he guided it across his lips, “You could pay me with something that would be just as fitting, eh?”
Neji sat stunned—he couldn’t be insinuating —Orochimaru smirked and gave him a kiss, then moved away.
Neji pushed the larger man from him, “Don’t do that you pig, kissing someone as well as you please.” Neji wiped his lips with his shirtsleeves, “I most definitely won’t be paying you with my body either so-“ Orochimaru’s smile widened as he sat in his chair across from the other.
“So, another game?"Neji turned enough to see Orochimaru shuffle the cards, and once he got his hand, he cursed and threw the completely useless cards over the table. Orochimaru laughed, “You already quit?” He ignored Orochimaru’s stupid question, ‘There’s no point playing if I seem to fail against him’ he thought to himself.
“I was planning to play the last game so you could write off your debt.” Neji looked away with a distasteful tut.
“I’m not paying anything, Orochimaru.”
Orochimaru chuckled and nudged his fellow opponent with his foot. "You really perform poorly at cards."
"Shut. Up. You imbecile."
Orochimaru suddenly turned serious, ”I expect you will have the ten million yen in let’s say—2 days?” He gave a cold glare to Orochimaru.
“You’ll be lucky if I give you anything.” He spat in disgust.
“For a stolen kiss? Its value is nowhere near ten million yen.” Orochimaru stated, picking and shuffling his cards.
“I wouldn’t use my father's money for such a thing as wagers and gambling, it’s degrading.”
“I don’t care. Find it somehow and get it to me, you wouldn’t want trouble? I heard Suigetsu had taken such a liking to you.” Orochimaru's eyes were shut as he smiled as he spoke, a small slit of gold could be seen only so little but it contained a sinister glare Neji had never seen.
“Suigetsu?” Neji croaked.
“Suigetsu.”
‘That low-life who gets beaten pretty much every day,’ Neji thought, he let out a sarcastic laugh, “He is indifferent. Not deadly.”
Orochimaru finally opened his eyes, forcing a hospitable tone to release, “I figured you’d say that, but with your attitude, I presume Suigetsu and you may become aquatinted, He has spoken a lot about you.”
Neji remained stoic, “Good things I hope.”
“Can I tell you something, Neji-kun?” Neji nodded, reluctant but still intrigued, “Suigetsu is one of my finest workers, the desire he has for cutting things may seem uncanny but I assure you he has become quite fond of the image of you next to his knife, though I refrained him from doing so.” Neji looked back over at Orochimaru, his eyes annoyed, his last ounce of strength fading.
“Such an ani- such a man needs restraints, if he wants me dead he can do whatever he pleases.” Neji tilted his head, “Fate is fate, I won’t hinder him, I won’t stop him.”
It was as if Suigetsu had animal-like senses, he came through the door of the room they were in. Suigetsu scowled, “I wasn’t aware, Hyuuga was coming today?”
“How nice of you to come, Suigetsu. We were just conversing about you.” Suigetsu’s scowl deepened, Orochimaru continued unaware of Suigetsu’s disinterest, “Neji was just saying how he is quite fond of you too.”
Neji’s eyes widened, suigetsu shifted “Bullshit, princess here is into raking up high wagers he can’t pay back.”
"You don’t know what I’m capable of.” Neji shouted, ‘How dare Suigetsu under-mind me!’, Suigestu smirked, an infuriating smirk which Neji couldn’t stand the sight of.
“You capable of paying back your debts but choose not to. I call that stupid.”
“I call it free will.” Neji countered.
“Boys. I’m sure you would be so kind as to take it outside.” Not that Orochimaru didn’t like the scene they were causing, it was that he had another ‘old friend’ coming through.
Neji abruptly stood up marching out of the room mumbling incoherent swears and phrases. Suigetsu bowed at Orochimaru and followed suit behind Neji.
Suigetsu dramatically threw his hands in the air, grinning maniacally, “I’ll be seeing you soon Hyuuga!” Suigetsu shouted down the hall making sure his words reached the long-haired man's ears.
Before Gaara and Lee woke Neji made sure to have left the apartment the way he had come across it, not covered in blood-stained cotton which may or may not been doused in Hydrogen Peroxide.
He gathered them up then threw them in the trash, he looked at the clock on the wall in the Kitchen which displayed it was coming up to half five in the morning. Shrugging to himself he grabbed his jacket and put his shoes on leaving haphazardly after writing a small note on a yellow pad of post-it notes.
It was fairly light outside for it being early in the morning so he called, Sasuke knowing he would be awake at this time due to he started work at his father's law firm pretty early around eight giving him time to exercise.
It took Sasuke around twenty minutes to arrive which Neji used the time to check his phone thoroughly for any messages he had missed, like of his uncle who seemed to phone every day and night which pissed Neji off.
But this time it was a message from an unidentifiable number saying with poor grammar; U mke it home sfe.
Neji grimaced texting back: Who is this? But yeah I did.
He didn’t remember much from the night before but how he got his bruises. His face had scabbed up a bit after his night asleep.
“Neji, dude. You are—“
”You’re full of shit.”
Sasuke began laughing at Neji cat-like response, which Neji didn’t appreciate, “What happened anyway?”
“Suigestu happened.” He deadpanned.
Sasuke made a hissing sound before drumming his finger son the heated steering wheel, “I’ll make Karin—“
"There’s no need Suigestu was just doing what he was told to do, Karin doesn’t need to beat him up on my behalf." Neji explained, "Suigestu is a bastard but—"
His phone buzzed in his pocket alerting him of a new message he paused his speech to view it.
Unknown Number [5:58 AM]
Shikamaru? The guy that helped you at the bar. The smoker.
Neji rolled his eyes and changed the guy's number name to Shikamaru. He texted back something small and brisk explaining he recalled him and he was okay now he just needed some rest and made sure to drink plenty of fluids.
Sasuke cleared his throat pulling Neji away from his phone in which Neji returned with a sheepish smile. "—sorry, as I was saying, he was only doing his job so I have no right to question or object to anything,"
Sasuke bit his inner cheek and knawed at his bottom lip, "Neji, I don’t think you should keep doing what you are doing."
"I’m not doing anything remotely wrong." He lied.
"Gambling and choosing not to pay it back. That’s the wrong thing Neji." Sasuke growled gripping the steering wheel much harder his veins becoming more prominent, "I will talk to Orochimaru and tell him to not bother you again."
"Why so serious Sasuke?" He joked.
Sasuke hissed through his teeth not in the mood for Neji bullshit antics, he seemed intoxicated and out of it. Neji was usually the most serious person he knew apart from himself, "I’m bringing you to your uncle."
"You can’t do that! I swear-"
"I swear to what?! You swearing to fucking god won’t help you!" Sasuke bellowed in anger, he definitely didn’t want to take him to his uncle's house but some old fashioned berating should send him back to normal, he sighed noticing Neji’s torn face, "I’m sorry, I have to do this for your own good."
Neji didn’t want to go back that was adamant and shown with much clarity but the reason why was beyond Sasuke's reasoning, "I don’t want to go back there Sasuke."
"I want you to go back for closure about your father's death." Sasuke explained pulling into a familiar driveway, Neji’s eyes became full with mortification, "I know you and your uncle haven’t been—how shall I say it—on good terms."
Neji snorted, good terms Neji despised his uncle. Hearing Neji’s petulant snort Sasuke carried on regardless of Neji was older he was acting immature, “I’ll deal with Orochimaru and you deal with your personal life with your family, I know it’s hard. You have to grin and bear it,”
”I don’t know why you have it out for me, do you want me to suffer?” Neji spat slamming his hands on the dashboard, “if you bring me there I’ll never forgive you—“ His words become choked and eyes begin to fill with tears, the tears spilled over but no sound came out, “I don’t want to go back there. Please Sasuke, I’ll stop.” Lies.
Sasuke gritted his teeth he didn’t want him to start this, the whole crying facade so Sasuke would turn around and let him fall back into the destructive pattern he had become so familiar with, “Neji, crocodile tears won't work with me. Not today, if Orochimaru didn’t hold Suigestu back you would have been dead.”
Dead? Neji smiled shaking his head through his thick tears, being dead would be much preferable over going back there, he saw that he was nearing the street his uncle lived on he stared at Sasuke through his tears, “I don’t want to! Being there...if I go back there I might as well be dead.” Each tear that dropped he became closer to his uncle's house.
Sasuke sighed, “I told Hiashi you will be coming over, you won’t leave this car until his outside. I know you.” Yeah right! He sneered inwardly if he knew him he wouldn’t do this, yeah he would have bolted to the closest place he could, a place filled with strangers rather than sit in a house with his uncle.
He covered his palms and allowed his tears to moisten the dryness, mumbling to Sasuke incoherent sentences, “I don’t want to. Please. You can still drive, I don’t want to.” Sasuke's car stopped. Neji steeled himself.
Neji peaked through between fingers his uncle was walking towards the car. To Neji’s door. Grasping the handle. Pulling the car door open.
“Neji. It’s good to see you, you look well.” Hiashi smiled nervously, though he wasn’t in the car he could feel the energy coming off the tension.
”Do I really look well?” He spat, looking up into his uncle's eyes with red-rimmed eyes and a cut on his cheek, he looked like shit. He felt Sasuke's hand touch his elbow making Neji flinch and pull away from him, “He was trying to be polite.”
Neji seethed and with a hiss, he spoke directly to Sasuke, “I won’t forgive you for doing this to me. I hate you, sasuke: I thought I could trust you. You were my confidant.” He made sure to empasise on the past tensing because, “You’re nothing to me.” He pushed himself out of the car. He had half a mind to bolt down the street but he was unmatched.
Most of his family lived on this street. He slammed the car door making sure sasuke flinched before stomping his feet aggressively as he marched into his uncles house. He sprinted upstairs locating the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He slid down the door, “I don’t want to be here dad.” He bawled shaking his head the tears remained cascading down his face, his moans and groans could be heard from the other side of the door.
Sasuke remained outside with Hiashi, he rolled down his window and leant over the seats, “I’m sorry Hiashi, he has been so destructive I didn’t know what to do. You’re going to have to help him somehow, I have just lost my best friend and this time he isn’t going to forgive me. You of all people should know he is stubborn.”
“I should have helped him as soon as it happened. I’m sorry your friendship is no longer I will try my best to have him reinstate it.” Hiashi explained with a pained smile, he backed from the car and nodded at sasuke before entering the house. He made sure to lock the door behind him. He ventured upstairs and followed the sound of Neji’s moans and groans. He paused at the bathroom door, he tried the handle knowing it would be locked. Who could blame him?
He tapped the door lightly, he heard Neji stop crying, “Neji, come out now.” He ordered but it didn’t hold any merit to Neji, who chose to ignore it.
“Piss off.”
Hiashi sighed with a breathy laugh, “I deserve that. You know that Sasuke is trying to look out for you.” He explained, Neji’s body shifted against the wood, “He knows you're struggling to cope with what happened but there’s a certain amount of time one grieves for.”
Neji snorted but it came out as a growl, his body lifted from the wood. He flung the door open the sound of it waking against the tiled wall could only be heard. the silence was deafening,"I’ll grieve for how long I fucking see fit. I don’t tell you what to do so don’t fucking think you can order me around like a mindless child!” His voice echoed in the house, he thought he saw his uncles face drop but it didn’t it remained stoic, “Yeah you lost your fucking parents but you had a brother my dad. My dad who isn’t fucking here no more, now who do I have?! Huh? No mother, no brother, no sister no one I can share or offload on. And you're going to stand there staring at me like I’m alien to you!”
Hiashi became tightlipped, he didn’t know what to say. Neji was so adamant he had no one, no one to be there for him. To help him, to comfort him, to listen to him. “Neji I didn’t know you felt like this. I’m trying my best here-“
“I guess you wouldn’t know how I felt, you and I are different people. I don’t think you actually understand anything I’ve been through.” He smiled through some escaping tears.
“I don’t know what you’ve been through, talk to me.” He implored.
Neji flinched He never expected his uncle to be so forward, “I’ll listen.” Hiashi elaborated, Neji’s bottom lip trembled. The old tear tracks were painted on his face.
“I-I-I-“ his stutter got the better of him, with his anger and anxiety flaring up bubbling to the surface, his uncle leered with waiting eye, “I-I don’t k-know w-what to do.” He wailed his uncles stared wide-eyed before encasing Neji into his large arm for some sense of security.
Neji hit his fists against his uncle's chest as he cried, “I’ll help you figure out what you want to do.” Hiashi said, clasping Neji’s head smoothing his hair as some parental gesture he probably did with his children. Hinata and Hanabi.
“I-I want—“
”We can talk about it tomorrow or this Neji. I suggest you go to sleep in your old bedroom if you’d like.”
Neji nodded and maneuvered out of his uncle's arms and found his way to his old bedroom, he smiled softly as he kicked off his shoes and entered the bed closing his eyes.
“I hate this.” He said before he felt been thrown full force into darkness.
By the time evening descended, Neji had woken up with sore eyes. He ventured downstairs where he knew his uncle would be, upon hearing his footsteps his uncle called out, “Neji. You're awake sit-down.”
He made a slight turn and entered the lounge, his uncle was sitting there with an observing look on his face. Neji made sure to sit far away from him but still at hearings length. “I’m glad you woke up, are you okay?” Hiashi asked, his worrying tone threw Neji off so he just stared back at him bewildered, Hiashi swallowed thickly, “I was going to wake you to eat but I figured you’d like to rest some more.” “Yeah, I was tired.” He poured Neji a glass of water from the jug which had been placed on the table, pushing the glass directly to him hiashi spoke again, “Tell me what’s on your mind?” He gnawed at his bottom lip if he didn’t know hiashi didn’t know. He didn’t know why his mind had been so chaotic and disoriented, “Honestly, I’m not sure.” “Well, think back to when Hizashi passed.” He did as his uncle requested closing his eyes briefly then opening them to endure the light, “When my dad died I lost everything. Everything. He was the only type of comforting support I had, I had no mother or sibling so when he died I lost my family, the only family I had.” He stated hand tightening around the cool hard glass filled with shaking water. “You have Me, Hanabi and Hinata. We are your family we can help you get through this. It’s rough now but we can.” Neji peered at his uncle from his glass, his eyes were vacant and unforgiving. He placed the glass on the table which was situated before him, he exhaled, “I don’t want anything to do with this family. You guys did this.” “We don’t kill your father Neji we have been over this. We couldn’t be capable of such things.” Neji laughed, it was loud and sinister, “Capability is out of questions but as my father died. Died in my fucking arms, not one person in this family apart from Tokuma tried to help me. You stared, they stared.” He pointed to the family photographs, they were all once happy, “It was a family event a sense of security should have been provided, but it wasn’t now he’s down there and you're here.” He drummed his foot on the floor indicating his father was buried, Hiashi put his hands to his lips in a praying attempt. “Neji, he was dying.” Hiashi explained, “By the time we helped he would have been dead, he died around family we ensured he wasn’t alone.” “Hah! Are you kidding me? Family? My father wanted nothing to do with this estranged family he wanted to keep it postcards and birthday cards from time to time. He didn’t want to go there, he told me.” Neji paused taking a deep breath then exhaling he growled, “But you insisted he should come, stop being so infantile. He came and he never fucking left only in a body bag.” He is a swift motion wiped the glasses off the table along with the jug all that was heard was a resounding smash! He huffed and his chest heaved heavily, what was this feeling? “If he didn’t come He would be still alive, he despised you. You guys were twins they probably mistook him for you, a vile, impudent thing of a man.” He got up from his seat and bolted to the door unlocking it he slammed the door once he felt the cold breeze on his face. Each time they open old wounds it hurt him ten times more than ever. Replaying what happened, what was heard, what they did. It was a complete nightmare for him. He dropped to the steps staring down at the stone. Tears wet the stone turning it dark from the light color it had once been. He could feel everything, his heart beating in his chest, his deep breathing, his bones moving and he could feel the pitiful stare of his uncle. But he’s losing his mind—again. He can feel it unraveling, the threads of every happy memory he could ever once recall, all but disarray of strings scattered about his feet. He hadn’t felt this way ever since his father, but the wounds became unbearable. Torn, unstitched. His sharp nails dig into the stone as he hits the ground, his hands unsteady as they silently claw at the stone. He opens his mouth, but not a sound comes out, his head violently quivering as if there is a drill to the back of his skull. His eyes see nothing; they have lost all sight of what is and what could have been. His mouth is open, an eternal silenced scream, saliva dripping from behind his teeth and onto the ground, stained with the memory of those he ever loved, his father was again limp in his arms no response and his mind was too clouded, eyes too blurry from tears to even check or see if his father was still breathing in his arms. Neji cried like there was too much raw pain inside him to be contained. Neji cried like his spirit needed to break loose from his skin, desperate to release an elemental rage on the world. Neji was beyond all reason, beyond all natural methods of calming. He sat there for hours and once his wailing stopped his voice and throat became sore and hoarse. He sat there was a dazed look in his eyes while staring up in the clouds. The clouds were just as muddled and distorted as his mind was. His type of grief seemed too painful to even comprehend. “Hey, are you okay?” A familiar voice spoke, nearing to Neji with his words, “Excuse me?” Neji’s head came up slowly staring the guy who looked familiar dead in the eyes as he growled, “What?!” The guy seemed to have been taken back because he stopped in his tracks and rose an undefined brow, he massaged his chin and smiled, “Oh it’s you. You seem a lot better than yesterday apart from the excessive crying.” He joked with a playful smile on his lips. Neji tilted his headband squinted his pale eyes, “Shikamaru.” He breathed out. Shikamaru nodded and plopped beside the temperamental Hyuuga, he laughed again to which a Neji didn’t see the point, “I didn’t know you lived here, you mustn’t get out much.” He fingered towards the house behind them both. Neji kept silent looking down the driveway. “Or speak much either?” He asked. “I-“ he cleared his throat to speak normally from his hoarseness, “Yeah I do...I just don’t feel like speaking right now.” He hoped Shikamaru understood what he meant because he didn’t want to speak much he just wanted to sit in silence. Shikamaru hummed and shrugged, “Understandable but isn’t it troublesome to keep whatever your feeling inside. If you did want to speak I could listen I have nothing better to do, I was only trying to get outside to look at the clouds.” He explained, Neji considered his offer he could tell this Shikamaru everything but he had trust issues no one could ever imagine to have. He couldn’t tell him anything. “Can we just sit in silence and look at the clouds? I don’t feel like anything.”
"Understandable."