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This morning when Seokjin saw the email in his inbox, he almost fainted. The email asked him, Kim Seokjin, to come visit Bang Si-Hyuk in BigHit’s headquarters. He was scared as fuck.Reason? Seokjin knew he have said some not so nice things about BigHit’s popular boy group BTS, especially their leader and main rapper Kim Namjoon aka RM. Ever since his ex boyfriend had called out the leader’s name during sex, Seokjin had vowed to tear RM’s reputation apart. But now, he was on his way to meet the boss of RM. Did his anti accounts got exposed? But, he wasn’t even the worst ones. Sure, he did post comments on public forums like calling RM ugly, try-hard, questioning the main rapper’s fashion choices and taste on music, but there were many comments like that. Surely this kind of behavior doesn’t warrant the meeting of BTS’ founder Mr. Bang?Seokjin passed the pristine white corridor filled with BTS pictures and albums. In the corner of his eyes, he saw RM in a couple of them, and he rolled his eyes. Always look so try-hard. Then his eyes caught Jin, another member of BTS, and Seokjin blinked. Perhaps Mr. Bang was going to ask Seokjin to be Jin’s body double. Like to divert crazy fans attention or for stunt purposes. Or maybe Jin was going to star in a movie about twins. Seokjin started to daydream a little. Seokjin wasn’t exaggerating. He had an eerily resemblance to BTS’ visual member Jin. He had been chased multiple times by fan girls asking for autographs before. Such was the life of someone handsome like him. “Mr. Bang is waiting for you. Go right in,” a big guy with round glasses who looked to be an assistant of some sort gestured to him at the door.Seokjin nodded. He couldn’t go anywhere else, could he? Not when there’s this bulky looking guy right in front of him and not when he was on a fiftieth floor.The door opened.Seokjin had expected a luxurious and grand room with floor to ceiling windows, not a nerd wet dream come true with five screen monitors and an advanced stereo system. There was a man sitting in front of the screens. He had his back facing Seokjin.“Mr. Bang, Kim Seokjin is here,” the assistant said.“Thanks Sejin. Come in, Seokjin,” the man nodded and turned his chair around.Seokjin was a bit taken aback. He had seen CEO Bang on news articles and TV before, usually in a suit, but not like this. Mr. Bang right now was wearing a casual white t-shirt with Superman logo and sweat pants.“Close the door,” Mr. Bang gestured to Sejin, and Sejin immediately complied.Seokjin felt his heart up in his throat. Just because the man doesn’t wear a suit doesn’t mean he was harmless. What were they planning to do with him in this closed room? He should have notified his parents beforehand and told them he loved them.“Thanks for coming, Mr. Kim,” Mr. Bang said and smiled. “The reason why you are here is because I have a favor to ask of you.” This didn’t relax Seokjin, it only made him more nervous. “Yes?” Seokjin prompted when Mr. Bang didn’t continue.“You see, you have to swear under oath first about not revealing any details before I can tell you,” Mr. Bang said and smiled apologetically. He leaned forward, “can you do that for me?”There didn’t seem to be an alternative, did there? Seokjin felt a bit nervous about this situation, then again, it was better than Mr. Bang telling him that BigHit is suing his ass for defamation comments online. “I will not let anyone know, I swear,” Seokjin said.“Good, good,” Mr. Bang leaned back on his chair. Seokjin watched as the chair made squeaky sounds. There was two windows behind Mr. Bang, Seokjin’s eyes moved to glance at the blue skies outside. The weather was wonderful today.“Are you a good actor?” Mr. Bang asked.Seokjin eyes returned immediately to Mr. Bang. Was it really? That Jin scored a movie deal-“Here’s the deal,” Mr. Bang continued. “You get to become someone else for one month, and you will be rewarded handsomely. The catch is no one can know. It is only between me, you, and Sejin,” Mr. Bang said.“What-”“You know Jin from BTS? He left us a note,” Mr. Bang said, intertwining his fingers together. “Said he’s sick and tired of being an idol. He needed a month break.”“Problem is BTS has several public appearances in the upcoming month. Music festivals and the like,” Mr. Bang shook his head. “Jin can be too my pace sometimes.”“So you want me-” Seokjin could feel sweat sliding down the top of his forehead, despite the nice AC in the room. How did Mr. Bang locate him for this anyway? He felt shivers just thinking about how much power BigHit possibly have. That aside, he was expecting a body double, not completely replacing the original. This sounded absurd. This sounded crazy.“You look exactly like him,” Mr. Bang said. He sighed and moved his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “it is a crucial time for BTS right now. We can’t afford to have one person missing, and definitely not for one month. That’s why,” he looked at Seokjin, “I need you to be on board with this.”Seokjin shook his head, “I don’t know if I can do this.”“You will be. We’ll let you know what his demeanors are like, and Sejin will assist you in the daily activities once you are in your role,” Mr. Bang said.“I don’t know-”“You will be paid one hundred million won,” Mr. Bang interjected.Seokjin swallowed. One hundred million won, that’s more than two years of his salary in one month.“Once successful, you will be paid another fifty million won when you are done,” Mr. Bang added. That’s three years of him not required to work. Seokjin almost salivated on the spot.“So what do you say?” Mr. Bang asked.“Do you have a contract?”****Seokjin had two days to pack all his essentials and sort out any errands. First he quit the Netcafe job after unable to ask for an one month vacation (it’s not like he’s going to have to work immediately after he finished this “job” anyway). Then he explained to his family and friends he was going on a one month backpacking trip to Asia to discover himself. His parents thought he was splurting nonsense but they quieted down when Seokjin sent them a screen shot of his bank account. “I saved up to go to this.” He had lied. Truth was that Mr. Bang had sent him a nice deposit for promising to go through the deal. Seokjin half had the urge to call his ex boyfriend and rub it in his face that he was actually going to be part of BTS, and will be up and personal in RM’s space. But he resisted. Mr. Bang might look nice, but his almost serial killer smile when he gripped Seokjin’s hand in their handshake, warning him not to tell anyone had almost made Seokjin piss in his pants then. Seokjin valued money, but he valued his life more.Two days later, Seokjin moved in to BTS dormitory with the help of Sejin, who was Mr. Bang’s right hand man and the executive manager for BTS. Sejin was there for BTS since the beginning when they weren’t that famous. When Sejin came into Seokjin’s six hundred square feet condo and saw Seokjin’s luggage, he shook his head.“You do realize you are going to be Jin right? And not Kim Seokjin.”That was when it hit Seokjin. He was going to use Jin’s stuff. He was going to use Jin’s personal belongings. He was going to live in a dorm with six other famous people. He was going to be decked in designer clothes, and own several awesome figurines. Seokjin ended up only carrying a small notebook and his personal cell phone with him. “Only use these when you absolutely have to, and in an extremely private space,” Sejin warned.They moved in quietly when no one else was in the dorm. The BTS members was at the tail end of their one week vacation and should be coming back the day after.Seokjin dropped his jaw when he set foot in the dorm. The entrance lobby was the same size of his entire apartment. It was two floors tall despite being on the twentieth floor. When he walked into the living room, he saw a white grand piano and a large maroon sofa sitting at the center. Above it was a blown up framed photo of BTS performing on stage, and right beside the poster was a floor to ceiling window that showcased the Seoul cityscape only the rich could dream of seeing at a home. Jin’s room was on the second floor. When Seokjin walked in, he had to put his fist in his mouth to muffle his “holy shit”. Figurines lined up the walls, mostly Mario and Marvel related. There was a plasma TV mounted to the wall, with game consoles right underneath. The room had a floor to ceiling window just like a living room, and what looked to be a walked in closet and Jin’s own four piece private bathroom. The bathroom faced the mountains and also had a huge window to look outside. Seokjin squealed with joy. ****Seokjin was trying on Jin’s expensive designer clothes when Sejin knocked on his door.“Bad news. Namjoon is coming back early from his vacation. I can only give you an hour of crash course.”Hearing the name Namjoon (aka RM) bought a bad taste to Seokjin’s mouth. Of course, the humble and perfect leader is going to cut his vacation short so he can go back to work and set an example for the rest of his members. Seokjin nodded to Sejin and followed him downstairs, feeling like he got pulled back to reality from the momentary ecstasy he enjoyed. They sat in the dining room, on two of the twelve oakwood chairs that surrounded a beautifully carved round table. “So, here’s the run down.”“Jin looks after Jungkook and they are playful with each other. As long as you tease him and is not opposed to skin ship with him, Jungkook won’t notice anything.”“Taehyung is into a lot of hobbies so doesn’t bother others as much compared to before. Just be nice to him and he’ll be nice to you. He’ll give you the space you need because he expects the same.”“Jimin. He’s a tricky one. He’s very observant. These days he’s preoccupied with the younger members and his outside friends though, so might be not too bad. Just be careful around him.”“Hoseok. As long as you do your work well and be on time, he’s going to be okay. He’s a professional but slow on the uptake in terms of relationships.”“Suga. Jin and Yoongi are good friends. But Yoongi is busy with music writing these days so you may not interact with him as much. Also he’s very respectful to Jin. He takes seniority very seriously.”“Namjoon,” Sejin said the name and paused, seemingly to think over what he should say. “Namjoon is pretty thick headed in general. He’s in his own world. He’s also super busy, the busiest in the group. That said, Namjoon and Jin used to be the closest in the group, until this year. I don’t know what happened specifically, but just look out for him. It might be nothing, but you never know with Namjoon.”Great. That was not helpful at all. Seokjin needed some concrete things, like inside jokes and what is the members favorite color. But apparently Sejin knew none of those. Instead, Sejin gave him a stack of paper, of all the upcoming schedule, lyrics and choreography positions he needed to memorize. Then, Sejin left. Seokjin knew he should spent every second on memorizing all these information, or worrying about what he should say to RM aka Namjoon when he meets him. But he decided to put those papers away, and soak himself in his private bath. He should take advantage of celebrity life as much as he can, while he could be one. What good could it be to worry about something he had not much control over anyway? It was sunset. Seokjin soaked himself in a peach flavored bubble bath, and watched orange and red sun rays radiant behind the mountain, casting a golden crown above the mountain top. The expensive bath bomb smell made Seokjin feel like he was in a dream. His eyes start to feel droopy.Bright clink of keys and a loud thump jolted Seokjin awake. The water was getting lukewarm in the bath and Seokjin knew he had to get up immediately. He hurriedly dried himself while listening to fast footsteps echoing in the living room downstairs, a door opening then closing. Then the footsteps was on the stairs, louder and louder until it turned and seemed to went to another side.Seokjin heard his heart thump against his chest. RM was here. He was going to meet the celebrity that he spent long hours bashing online in person. Should he go out and greet the man? How should he react? Per Sejin, Jin and RM were supposed to be distant. But if he doesn’t greet RM, would that be out of character and weird? Damn, Sejin’s advice was pretty useless.At the end, Seokjin decided to fuck it and just meet RM. He just knew if he didn’t do it he’d be thinking about this the whole night and perhaps even tomorrow. Seokjin picked up a baby blue sweater in his closet and white sweatpants to put on. The fabric felt so smooth and the intricate lines on the seams really show why it was a designer brand. Seokjin touched the clothes a little lovingly, then headed out the door.RM seemed to be in his own room, which was opposite of Seokjin’s on the second floor per Sejin’s floorplan. The door was half closed and Seokjin could see dim lights coming from RM’s laptop screen.Seokjin knocked softly and held his breath.There was a scuffle, sounds of a few things being knocked over, and finally a “Yes?”“RM?” Seokjin said, then coughed, “Namjoon?” Namjoon appeared in front of Seokjin. Kim Namjoon, probably one of the richest idols in existence, wore a loose grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. He had a pair of round glasses on, and his eyes widened behind those glasses when he saw Seokjin. He was about half a head taller than Seokjin, to Seokjin’s dismay. “H-hyung. You are back,” Namjoon stuttered a little. He then seemed to spot what Seokjin was wearing, and his eyes widened even more. “I thought you threw this out.”“What? This?” Seokjin touched the sweater, feeling his palms sweaty.Namjoon looked at him and tilted his head. Seokjin suddenly didn’t understand why he said all those mean things about this person. The guy in front of him was obviously still a kid despite the height. And definitely not ugly. Even without the makeup and styling, Namjoon had a small face, beautiful long monolid eyes and a full inviting mouth.Wait-what was he even thinking-“Who are you?” Namjoon suddenly narrowed his eyes.
Shit shit shit.
“Huh? What do you mean?” Seokjin widened his eyes in confusion. He hoped that’s enough to deceive Namjoon. All he wanted right now was to reverse time and take back what he said, or perhaps change into different clothes that didn’t bring suspicion this fast.Namjoon walked up and grabbed Seokjin’s wrist. Before Seokjin even had enough time to register that his skin actually touched Namjoon’s, Namjoon said, “you are not Jin hyung. How did you get in here?”FUCK. He was going to get exposed. Seokjin’s mind raced through his options. He could pretend to be Jin, and Namjoon could be suspicious but so could loads of the other members in the group. Or, he could tell Namjoon the truth and maybe get Namjoon to be on his side. Namjoon, even as an anti, Seokjin had to admit the man cared about the group.“Wait wait wait. I can explain,” Seokjin said. “Let me call up Sejin,” Namjoon pulled out his cell phone.“Please, let me explain,” Seokjin pleaded. Mr. Bang’s going to be pissed off if he knew Seokjin ruined this plan so fast.It might be the genuine sound of distress in Seokjin’s voice, but Namjoon nodded. He released Seokjin’s hand and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Okay, explain.”Seokjin told Namjoon what he was here for. He explained that Mr. Bang had asked him to be Jin for one month. Namjoon’s first looked puzzled, then disbelief, and when Seokjin finished his explanation, the main rapper just looked sad.“…and that’s basically it,” Seokjin said, then paused to wait for Namjoon to react. Namjoon seemed to be gazing at some dot behind Seokjin, lost in his thoughts.“…you okay?” Seokjin asked.“…yeah,” Namjoon looked back at Seokjin. The glum on his face was gone, it was replaced by determined eyes. “It definitely sounds really out there, but I get it. You look and sound just like Jin hyung. But the thing is, can you actually sing and dance? We are not just some pretty face group you know.”Seokjin swallowed, “Mr. Bang told me I didn’t have much lines to sing, and when I do, backtrack is going to be used.”“And dancing?”“I…I don’t think he mentioned that part.”Namjoon groaned. He combed his fingers in his hair aggressively. “That’s the hardest part. I can’t believe that man, jesus-”“I mean, if it helps, I attended dancing classes with my ex boyfriend before.” Seokjin said. He had been dragged by his ex to kpop dance classes as an activity they did together.Namjoon’s head shot up and he stared at Seokjin.“What?” Seokjin stepped back a little from the force of the stare.“You are gay?”
Shit.
Seokjin clammed his mouth shut. That bath he took earlier must had some kind of water in it that made people dumb. How can he just blurt out that he had a boyfriend?“I mean- my girlfriend-” Seokjin backtracked, but it didn’t look like Namjoon bought it.“Another issue to deal with,” Namjoon squeezed his eyes shut and swore under his breath. “And that old man didn’t even think to tell me about this. Throwing a ticking bomb to the group-”“Excuse me, it’s the 21st century-” Seokjin felt a little bit insulted. He was totally right, the real Namjoon was every bit of an arrogant douche bag. “What does my sexuality has to do with anything?”“It makes things messy,” Namjoon exclaimed, hands spread apart. “Don’t you get it? We are celebrities. We are idols. Normal dating is bad enough, but if you are gay?”Seokjin stepped back a little. He had no idea Namjoon gets so worked up behind the scenes.“Okay…but look, I am only here for a month. I don’t think you have to worry about me dating, period. I’m not going to hook up with anyone either. It’s in my contract with Mr. Bang.”Namjoon’s mouth formed a small “o”. “Sorry, you are right,” he seemed to have realized his overreaction and scratched his head. “It’s just- we already have two members like this. Taehyung’s gay and Yoongi’s bisexual.”Seokjin blinked. He tried taking this in. His ex boyfriend would be elated about this news. He was obsessed with BTS and had often fantasized about being with one of them (Namjoon specifically). Seokjin’s thoughts must have transmitted to his face because the next second Namjoon said, “don’t even think about dating them, or spreading this information to anyone. If I find out, you’ll be screwed.”Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Of course, I am not dumb.”When he saw that Namjoon was still staring at him, Seokjin touched his collar a bit nervously. “What?”Namjoon shook his head, “nothing, it’s just that you really do look like Jin hyung,” he then sighed. “You know what, you should tell the other members you had a concussion during vacation and forgot things. Not sure how much it’ll help your narrative, but they are certainly not as observant as I am. With your identical look and voice, it’s going to be hard for them to see that you are not actually Jin hyung.”Seokjin nodded. “Okay.” Then he opened his mouth in realization. “Does that mean - you are helping me?”“Only under certain conditions,” Namjoon pointed his finger at Seokjin. “First, anything you communicate with Sejin and Mr. Bang, you let me know. Second, if I caught you leaking any of our personal information or schedules online or to whomever, you are fucked. Third, do not hit on or flirt with the members, especially Taehyung and Yoongi. Finally, work hard and stick with the schedule like everyone else. If you slack off, it’s basically a sign to the other members that you are a fake.”“Okay, deal,” Seokjin said. It was just for one month, he can deal with hectic celebrity schedules. In terms of the other stuff, it’s not going to happen anyway.“Oh, almost forgot,” Namjoon said. “I need to hear you sing. I know you said Mr. Bang let you have some backtrack, but you do know that we can be asked to sing on demand during an interview right?”“R…right.”That’s why, Seokjin ended up in Namjoon’s room. Namjoon’s room was the same size as Jin’s but looked much smaller thanks to cluttered clothes all over the place and huge music equipment that took up at least a third of the room. Right now, Seokjin leaned into the recording microphone in that room, ready to sing BTS songs on demand. Namjoon asked him to sing the recent ones first, and because Seokjin wasn’t familiar with those, he got many lyrics and tone wrong which resulted in a big unsatisfied frown from Namjoon. The whole thing was so nerve wrecking to Seokjin. He wasn’t a professional singer, he was just some amateur that knows the song. “This is not good,” Namjoon shook his head and pressed his palms up on his forehead. “I don’t know this song. But I know I can sing some others,” Seokjin said. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want to disappoint Namjoon. He knew that it was important for him to bring Namjoon on his side if he was going to be able to go through the month. “Like what?”Seokjin thought about the song that he practiced so much at one point to impress his then ex boyfriend when they just started dating. “Save Me.”“Okay, try that then,” Namjoon said. He clicked through the folders on his computer and put the instrumentals track on. The song started.Seokjin took a big breath. Yes, he was familiar with this. He opened his mouth and started to sing. It was tough, singing in front of the owner of the song. He told himself to ignore where he was at and focus on his voice. Just like what his parents told him every time he sang when he was little. In his mind he was back in his childhood, his parents looking at him fondly while he sang to his heart’s content. There was no worries and just the music was there with him. It was hard at the beginning, he felt so self conscious in this strange house and in front of this stranger. But when he got more into the music and the smooth background beats vibrated in his ears, he lost himself in the song. The only thing that mattered was the music.When the music ended, Seokjin was suddenly brought back to where he was. Anxiety spiked up as he opened his eyes. Namjoon looked at him like he couldn’t figure Seokjin out. “So, what about it?” Seokjin asked. His voice cracked from nervousness. “Well, there were a few parts where your tone was off, and the lyrics were wrong,” Namjoon said. Seokjin felt his heart drop.But then a small smile crept up Namjoon’s lips. “But overall, it’s actually not bad.”Seokjin ears burned at the compliment. He forgot how singing made him feel so happy. Having other people listen to it, a professional singer (even though he really is a rapper) and the owner of the song compliment him made him feel like his shoulders was up in the sky. “Can you show me the other songs you can sing?” Namjoon asked. Seokjin nodded, excited to comply. For the rest of the evening, he sang the songs while Namjoon gave him constructive criticisms. As Seokjin looked at the serious and eager side profile of Namjoon correcting his mistakes, he thought the idol was actually not half bad. The next thirty days might not be so tough after all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Seokjin woke up from a loud thud on the floor followed by muffled R&B music that echoed through the walls. He groaned, feeling like he was still in his residual dream. He was half expecting his usual rock hard bed poking his spine and force himself up, but his bed was just so comfortable today. Seokjin inhaled his sheets, and it smelt of fresh lemon. Interesting, it’s not the usual candy smell he’s used to-Wait. Seokjin popped his eyes open. He saw baby blue walls, different from the eggshell white he painted himself years ago when he moved in.He was in BTS Jin’s room, not his own.
It was really happening.
Seokjin held his breath for a few seconds. His ears pricked up and listened to the continuation of R&B music and then the phone rang. The ring tone was a familiar BTS song, cut short by someone picking it up almost immediately.“Yes mom, I just got to the dorm,” the voice said. It was sticky, and had a high pitch and sweet tone. So another BTS member made it to the dorm today. Seokjin ran through the other members voices one by one in his head. The ones that sounded sticky when talking was Jimin and Jin. And since he was Jin himself, this had to be Jimin. Jimin, the fairy like dancer and the charming idol who was loved by the general public. Holy shit. He was going to meet South Korea’s sweetheart. Was Jimin going to see through his facade so easily like Namjoon? Thinking this had Seokjin worried. Even if Namjoon promised to help him, Seokjin felt like he still had five other hurdles to jump through before he can fully began his pretend. He pushed his face into the pillow. Damn, if he could just continue sleeping and only wake up when they have a busy schedule or something, so no one would have the time to observe him, or even better, if he can wake up and it was already over- Footsteps echoed on the stairs, and then someone knocked on the door and swung it open without waiting for Seokjin’s answer. Seokjin let his limbs fall immediately faking sleep.“Jin hyung, you are back? I saw your luggage- oh-” Jimin started then stopped, “he’s still sleeping.” Jimin muttered to himself just to leave again and left the door slightly ajar to Seokjin’s dismay.Seokjin sighed. He was not going to be able to hide forever. There were six other people he had to live with, for crying out loud. It was amazing to Seokjin that all members of BTS still chose to live together despite all earning the top dollars in the industry. Anyways, he wouldn’t be able to hide in the corner and not talk to anyone, because that would be suspicious as hell. Plus, Namjoon probably would not allow that. Per the agreement with the leader, Seokjin was to work hard and be Jin so the other members don’t notice. Seokjin pushed himself up slowly. His eyes darted to the closet. This he looked forward to. Which designer brand should he wear today?By the time Seokjin got ready and walked downstairs, he saw Jimin and another person lounging on the living room sofa. Jimin was in a white dress shirt paired with black skinny jeans. In contrast, the other person was wearing a pair of bright blue Balenciaga shoes, a loose flowery shirt and camel khaki pants. There was a colorful small pouch hanging by his waist. This must be Hoseok. Even without looking at his face Seokjin could identify BTS’ main dancer’s fashion anywhere.Seokjin tried not to stare at what Hoseok wore when the two of them looked up from their phone on the sofa, almost at the same time.“Oh hyung!” Jimin exclaimed. “You are back early.”“Yeah.”“How was your vacation?”“I-” Seokjin searched for the right words to say, then remembered what Namjoon told him. “I don’t remember much, to be honest. I had a minor concussion.”“Oh,” Hoseok stood up, his eyebrows knit together in genuine worry. “What happened?”“I’d rather not talk about it,” Seokjin said the exact words Namjoon taught him to say. “To tell you the truth, everything’s still foggy and I have some memory loss. I am still trying to memorize all our lyrics,” Seokjin smiled sheepishly at the two concerned faces in front of him. Damn, Jin was lucky to have these two cute guys care for him. Seokjin spent the next hour pretending to be dumb while Jimin and Hoseok hovered around him like mother hen to a chick, asking about the details. Seokjin spluttered out several “I don’t know”s and “maybes” while looking apologetic to them. He was lucky that the observant Jimin cared too much about Jin’s wellbeing to even question if his Jin hyung was actually lying, and Hoseok seemed like the person to believe in the honesty of men in general. Still, when Namjoon came out of his room and stopped their conversation, Seokjin secretly breathed a sigh of relief and immediately sought refuge in the kitchen. Fifteen minutes later, while Seokjin munched on a huge chocolate donut, Namjoon came to find him.“Hey, I forgot to mention something yesterday,” Namjoon said softly and pulled the chair beside Seokjin. Seokjin could hear the chatter and laughter from Jimin and Hoseok in the background.“So, we were kind of ignoring each other. Jin and I,” Namjoon said and paused. “But since you are in this situation of course I am going to help you. So if anyone asked what happened to you and me, just say there was some misunderstanding and I talked to you about it after the concussion, okay?”Seokjin nodded. He wondered why Jin and Namjoon ignored each other but there would be millions of reasons. After all, they were forced to live and work together for so long under stressful environments.After lunch time, Seokjin locked his door and pulled out his personal notebook. He looked at all his diary entries before and cannot help but be amazed of how different his life can be now. He already met three A list celebrities and was wearing and being surrounded by things normal working class could only dream of. But with these came expectations that he needed to act certain way to adhere to their standards. He was feeling lucky yet anxious. Seokjin wrote down his thoughts, then hid his notebook deep inside a drawer full of messy gadgets. He looked at the time, it was only one o’clock. Seokjin contemplated if he should take a nap to let the time go faster, only to be interrupted by knocking on the door.“Come in,” he said.Hoseok and Jimin’s faces appeared at the door. “Want to play some games together, hyung?”Seokjin wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to play video games with idols. To his immense pleasure, Hoseok and Jimin both were pretty weak compared to all his other friends. It might be because they don’t have much time outside their schedule, but Seokjin owned them hard at each game they played.After Seokjin won another round of Mario kart, Jimin whined. “How did you get so good during the break? It’s almost like the concussion helped you with video games.”“Hey, that’s not nice,” Hoseok jabbed Jimin on the ribs. “Jin hyung is probably feeling miserable inside about this.”“You are right, sorry Jin hyung,” Jimin said,Seokjin shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize.” Hoseok wasn’t wrong though, he was feeling miserable inside. It wasn’t the concussion that made him feel like this, but the fact that he had to lie to these two people who seemed to be genuinely nice and kind. After another round of games, Hoseok and Jimin went to the gym while Seokjin stayed behind and read over the lyrics and choreography formation sheets. Once in a while he would look up when Namjoon comes down to get some snacks or water just to go back up to his room and work on music again. They would nod to each other in acknowledgment. Seokjin was thankful at least Namjoon knew about his true identity in the house.Jungkook and Taehyung came in the late afternoon when Seokjin was dozing off from reading the sheets. Jungkook came in first, his whole outfit resembling a grim reaper, as he wore what looks like a black cloak. In contrast, Taehyung came looking almost like a fairy. He had bright red hair with a white chiffon top and loose beige pants. When Taehyung turned around Seokjin felt his heart stop for a few seconds. Taehyung was even better looking in person. He was always Seokjin’s favorite when he was into BTS, along with maybe Jin. Taehyung had very expressive eyes, eyes that convey sadness and happiness so well. When Seokjin’s eyes met them, he felt like he was a little taken away, like meeting a real celebrity.“Jin hyung,” Jungkook raised a hand to greet Seokjin. “I am right here, stop looking at Tae.”Seokjin had a brief moment of panic when Taehyung playfully slapped Jungkook’s head. “Oh come on, Jin hyung was just surprised at the new hair color. You like it?” he turned around and smiled at Seokjin.“Y…yeah,” Seokjin nodded. Taehyung’s smile can lit up the sun.“You can always get it colored too you know, it’s just that you like it black,” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Really?”“Of course,” Jungkook frowned. “You always say that hyung.”Shit. Time for the concussion story. Seokjin quickly pulled out the same thing he went through with Jimin and Hoseok, and thankfully, both Jungkook and Taehyung almost bought Seokjin’s story immediately. Maybe because they were the youngest in the group, but they trusted Seokjin’s words immediately. They comforted Seokjin a little but soon moved on doing their stuff. Seokjin was relieved about this. There was just one more member left before he can fully start his pretend.It was around five when Jungkook came into Seokjin’s room.“Hyung, let’s go work out?” Jungkook had changed his shadow cloak for a nice fitted white t-shirt and loose shorts. He looked so much better and Seokjin found himself in a daze for a brief second then he quickly shook his head and regained composure.“Okay, sure,”The gym was located right above their floor, the top floor of the building. It was a large facility just for BTS, as Jungkook had to scan his fingerprint to get in. Seokjin wondered if he would be able to get in himself, as his fingerprint was bound to be different than Jin’s. He thanked heavens that he did not walk in front.There was no one else at the facility except them. Seokjin felt his heartbeat quicken. He was alone in this space with Jungkook. What if he spurted out nonsense and Jungkook discovered he’s a fake? That’s what happened with Namjoon last time.Thankfully, Jungkook didn’t need Seokjin’s attention, he just wanted to work out. The youngest member headed for the weight machine immediately after walking in. Seokjin took up the treadmill, he didn’t want to be in the vicinity of Jungkook’s lest the young maknae asked him a random question that he was most likely not able to answer. Seokjin was deep in BTS workout playlist when Jungkook came to find him.“Yes?” Seokjin asked. How did Jungkook finish so soon? It wasn’t even half an hour yet.“Can we talk a bit?” Jungkook asked.Seokjin blinked. He would have felt nervous if Jungkook didn’t look so upset. They walked and stood by the window of the gym, looking at the Han River outside. Seokjin took a water bottle while Jungkook took a orange flavored Gatorade out of a variety of stocked drinks. There was all types of drinks, many that Seokjin never seen before. “I broke up with Tzuyu over the break,” Jungkook said. Seokjin choked on his water bottle and coughed.“Jeez hyung, it’s not that shocking. I told you it wasn’t working well,” Jungkook patted on Seokjin’s shoulder.“Sorry, sorry,” Seokjin knew his face was red - Jungkook probably took it as a symptom from the water which was good. Truth was that Seokjin had no idea Jungkook and Tzuyu was ever an item.“You know that I had the concussion, I don’t remember too much about the details,” Seokjin scratched his head and smiled sheepishly.“Yeah it’s okay hyung,” Jungkook smiled. Seokjin’’s heart melted at the smile. Even as a celebrity, Jungkook seemed like a good earnest kid that was untainted from the society. “I just needed someone to listen, and you’ve always been a good listener.” What a cute kid Jungkook was, Seokjin could never associated him with anything lewd despite the well built body Jungkook created for himself.“Yeah, me and Tzuyu have been sleeping together for a while,” Seokjin almost choked on his water again. Jungkook continued on. “Then we started to have feelings. It’s hard because she doesn’t even speak a lot of Korean. So she wants to break it off,” Jungkook sighed. “I see,” Seokjin said. He was glad Jungkook was at least having some. It would be a waste for Jungkook’s youth and good looks to go nowhere. Too bad Jungkook doesn’t swing his way, or he - stop. FULL stop. Kim Seokjin.“And there’s two other girls who are texting me. Yuqi from Idle and Lisa from Blackpink. They don’t speak much Korean either,” Jungkook sighed. “Why do I always get hit on by the foreign idols?”“They are all great, it just happens that they are foreign.”“Well, not for you hyung. You get hit on by the most popular Korean girls,” Jungkook pouted.Seokjin widened his eyes. Really? When Seokjin got back to the dorm, it was almost eight. He ate a quick dinner provided by Hoseok ordering out, then quickly opened Jin’s phone. Jin had left the phone with BigHit, but Seokjin haven’t had a chance to look at it, being too busy with faking his identity and memorizing lyrics. He powered it up quickly though, and there was a dozen notifications immediately. Jin had removed his personal photos and messages on the phone, but still gave BigHit the contacts etc. so BigHit can fake Jin’s attendance. Jin scrolled down the notifications. There were quite a few messages from people he had no idea who it was, and had to rely on Jin’s people cheatsheet given by Sejin to determine whether he should respond or not. Several female idols caught his eye, and a few in particular - Irene from Red Velvet and Jisoo from Blackpink made his jaw drop. Those two girls were the cream of the crop in terms of attractiveness, even to a gay man like Seokjin. He opened Irene’s first. It said:
I finished that book about social justice. Any new recommendations? I am bored to hell in waiting rooms these days.
Seokjin looked at it for a while. He had no idea Irene was a bookworm, and it was kind of cute that she was interacting with Jin about books. For Seokjin, the only books he read these days were joke books, the ones about dad jokes were especially good. He thought it over and decided to share.
Yes, actually. I’m into XX by XX these days.
After he clicked send, Seokjin chuckled and imagined what Irene’s possible response would be. He then moved onto his next message from Jisoo.
Seokjin oppa, Namjoon oppa still haven’t answered my text. Is he really busy these days? Please tell him to take it easy and that I miss him.
Seokjin stared at the message. Namjoon? Did she mean the Kim Namjoon next door? What a surprise. From what Seokjin known, Jisoo was extremely attractive, and had a bubbly personality. She was popular, not just among fans, but also among many popular male celebrities who said they wanted to get to know her well. The fact that she was contacting Jin about Namjoon could mean three things. One - Jin introduced Namjoon to her, or at least he’s well acquainted with her to be the middle person. Two - Namjoon was attractive enough to get such a response from a top tier female idol (attractive in terms of what, Seokjin wasn’t sure - whether it was physical, talent, or the amount of money). Three - Jisoo was doing this for Jin’s attention. She want to be with Jin but is using Namjoon as a bait. Seokjin leaned toward the last idea. It was hard for him to find out though, since Jin had deleted all past conversation history. Seokjin decided to figure this out himself.
I will. He’s lucky to have someone like you care. How are you doing these days anyway?
If Jisoo was interested in Jin, she’d respond immediately and talk about herself. Almost immediately, Seokjin saw the notification of “typing-” on the other end. Ah ha - I was right. Seokjin smirked and felt giddy about what potential response he could get. When the response came, his eyes widened.
Not good. He broke it off. Are you even close to him? You didn’t answer my question in days and now you are asking how I’m doing after he dumped me yesterday?
Seokjin felt his face ablaze with embarrassment. Whether it was for his presumptuous message earlier, his assumption about Jisoo and Namjoon, or because of this awkward knowledge of knowing Namjoon dumped Jisoo, he had no idea. All he could type back was a short Sorry.Jisoo didn’t respond to that, and Seokjin genuinely hoped she didn’t. He was attempted to delete her number at this point, except it was Jin’s phone. He deleted the chat history instead. If Jisoo confronted Jin later, it was Jin’s business as he ran away from all this. He should suffer consequences.After this, Seokjin lost interest in continuing checking out the messages, and only responded in a polite and detached manner. It was dark now, and he gazed at the sky outside. It looked the same as any other night in Seoul, but the day’s events were extraordinary for him. He thought about all the members he met, how they looked just like how he saw on TV, but they felt just like anyone in their early twenties, who plays video games, goes to the gym, and worry about girls.His mind wandered to Namjoon, how Namjoon looked out for him by coming up with that concussion story. Even when Seokjin was a dedicated anti, he knew Namjoon was likely a good person and didn’t warrant all the hate Seokjin spew online. Seokjin was just being jealous and petty. But that was different than getting to know Namjoon in person, and getting to know Namjoon through an outsider like Jisoo. Why did Namjoon broke it off with Jisoo anyway? Jisoo was definitely a catch, even for top male idols. The fact that she was interested in Namjoon suddenly made Namjoon a lot more appealing in Seokjin’s eyes.Seokjin shook his head. Why was he even thinking about this anyway? He had to survive one month here, he wasn’t here to be an observer of the idol world. He was going to be a participant. He had to work hard to just be enough as a fake. These people here worked years, he was going to have to be on his top game every second for 30 days to pass their test. Flared with sudden determination, Seokjin pulled out those music sheets and his headphones to memorize the songs.Time was a tricky thing, when you were fully immersed in something, it passed like it was never there at all. Hours passed by, and it was only when Namjoon opened his door that Seokjin noticed he sat in his chair and sang for a long time. “Jin hyung, Yoongi hyung’s back,” Namjoon said, looked at him kind of funny, then turned back to the living room. Seokjin blushed thinking that Namjoon heard all his terrible croak singing just then. Seokjin took off his headphones and heard the chatter in the living room. There was a distinct husky low voice talking that he immediately identified as Yoongi’s, and then a “Yoongi’s hyung I missed you” cheerful voice that seemed to belong to Jimin. Thinking that Yoongi probably weren’t going to notice him among a bunch of other members anyway, Seokjin went out to greet him. To greet the last member of BTS.Yoongi was not like how Seokjin imagined. He had always remembered the man to be swag and cool. But right now the man was smiling warmly like he could melt marshmellows, and showering the members around him with souvenirs from his break. When Yoongi’s eyes caught Seokjin’s though, he stopped smiling. Instead, Yoongi almost looked at Seokjin with a scrutinizing gaze that made Seokjin feel chill up his spine. Just as fast, it disappeared and Yoongi resumed a warm state. “Hyung,” Yoongi nodded his head at Seokjin then went on answering a question asked by Hoseok. Seokjin suddenly felt he was not a part of them, standing far away looking at all the members smiling and using inside jokes that only they knew. The sophisticated furniture and the designer clothes around him felt so cold. He didn’t belong here. A nauseating feeling ran up in his stomach and Seokjin had to hold the wall behind him for stability. “You okay?” Namjoon asked. Seokjin turned around and was met with a pair of concerned eyes. Just as fast as it came, the cold feeling went away. Seokjin didn’t know when the leader was behind him, but the presence of Namjoon almost immediately made Seokin feel comforted. Perhaps it was because Namjoon was the only one who knew about Seokjin’s identity, or perhaps it was those eyes. They were so clear and transparent, telling Seokjin that there was nothing to be afraid of.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The slight uneasy feeling Seokjin quickly dissipated when he laid down in bed, exhausted from the day’s activities. They had to wake up early for a schedule - they were going to do dance practice on Idol, one of their newer songs. In the morning Seokjin sat in the car as Namjoon. Seokjin’s face was devoid of color after hearing the word ‘dance’. He had learned a couple of BTS dances in studios back when he was with his ex boyfriend, but he knew he was nowhere on par with the rest of the group.Seokjin tried to grab Namjoon’s attention to voice this concern. He kept glancing at Namjoon from the corner of his eyes but the latter seemed completed absorbed on his phone to notice. Seokjin groaned inside, he didn’t want to talk out aloud, he had to fake being Jin. He took back his words about Namjoon being comforting, if anything Namjoon was frustrating. He peered at the leader again. Was Namjoon that oblivious as a leader? Why was this man constantly praised by people again?The car drove up into BigHit’s building and Seokjin felt his legs growing weak. There was just no way he could pull an entire dance off, with choreography and synchronization and everything. He needed to talk to Sejin or Mr. Bang fast.When they got off the car, Seokjin caught a glimpse of Sejin and was determined to talk to the man. He excused himself and went to search for Sejin among the waves of heads. There were so many people all around him, seeming to all be BTS entourage. Seokjin didn’t have the heart to check them out - he needed to find Sejin. He asked one of the staff where Sejin was and was guided to the right. “Hyung, are you not coming with us?” Jimin asked when Seokjin started walking there.“I, uh-” Seokjin scrambled in his head trying to come up with what to say.“Leave him be. He’ll catch up with us,” Yoongi said behind Jimin.Seokjin blinked. Yoongi tossed him a look, and then held onto Jimin’s shoulders to get him to the studio. Seokjin thanked Yoongi in his head (he’ll think about what Yoongi is trying to do later), right now, he was in a mission. Sejin was speaking with Namjoon when Seokjin spotted him.Seokjin froze seeing the two together, thinking of the possibility that Namjoon could tell on him. When they turned to look at Seokjin though, Seokjin knew he was okay. Sejin immediately bought his attention to Seokjin and walked over. Namjoon gave them a look and left.“Did you need anything?” Sejin asked. When he saw Seokjin looking around for bystanders, Sejin led him into a room nearby. It had lines of mirrors that seemed to be a waiting room for artists to change and stand by.“What’s up?” Sejin closed the door.“I can’t dance!” Seokjin blurted out.“Ah…right,” Sejin put his fingers to his forehead, thinking. After a while, he released them, “why don’t you say you had an accident and hurt your foot? Like your legs don’t work well or something.”“It worked fine this morning when they saw me.”“Let’s say it just happened now, try to fake a limp and tell them,” Sejin said. He opened his mouth to say more but was interrupted by his phone. “Sorry, have to get this,” he said. He mouthed ‘fake it’ to Seokjin and then left the room.What the fuck does fake a limp mean? Seokjin thought. If it was the old him, he might have already started to Youtube it. But he couldn’t Youtube it here. He didn’t have time or the wifi password.Seokjin swung the door open then saw Namjoon right outside.“What did you guys talk about?”“Aren’t you at the dance studio?”They both asked the same time.“I-” Seokjin said when he realized Namjoon waited for him to go on, “I can’t dance!”“Okay,” Namjoon nodded, “and?”“He tells me to fake an injury,” Seokjin squatted down like a petulant child and held his head in his hands. “Do you have any experience of that? Seriously-”“You are not doing that,” Namjoon said firmly.“What?” Seokjin looked up.“You are going to be performing alongside us.”“But how- I’m not experienced or have practiced long enough with you guys-”Namjoon was quiet for a moment, “we’ll teach you. Trust me.”Seokjin pondered on whether or not he could really be taught while he followed Namjoon back to the studio. When it opened, Seokjin’s heart dropped to the floor. There were huge mirrors installed on all walls of the room, and many people stood at the back watching the rest of BTS practice. Their eyes immediately drawn to Namjoon and Seokjin when the two of them walked in. The only saving grace was that Sejin was not there and couldn’t expect Seokjin to fake an injury.“I really don’t know if I can do this-” Seokjin whispered.Namjoon tapped his shoulder reassuringly.“Hey guys,” Namjoon said to the BTS members, “Seokjin hyung just told me he had trouble remembering any of the choreography because of the accident, and he wasn’t sure if he can perform.”“What-” Jungkook’s eyes were as large as saucers. Taehyung and Jimin frowned, while Hoseok looked concerned. Yoongi’s expression didn’t change much, like he was expecting this would happen.“We can try to see how much he remembers first,” Hoseok suggested. “Hyung, why don’t you first try to practice with us and see if you can follow?”Seokjin bit his lips and looked at Namjoon. Namjoon gave him a reassuring nod.Just like this, after the warm up Seokjin ended up lining up on the far left of the group formation. He felt his entire body freeze just from the possibility of the humiliation to come. When the music started, he tried to follow, but everyone was just too fast. One minute in and Hoseok asked them to stop. He heaved a sigh while he looked at Seokjin through the mirror. Seokjin felt horrible. “You really weren’t lying,” Hoseok shook his head. “I thought you would still retain some muscle memory but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”“Sorry,” Seokjin stared at the white floor with footprint marks in front of him. He wished a hole would swallow him up right in the spot.“It’s okay. We’ll just stay a bit later today,” Hoseok said.Seokjin lifted his eyes and saw the restrained frustration among many of the members, and he felt incredibly sorry.“How about-” Namjoon started, “we practice formation with Jin hyung and I’ll teach him the choreo? Jin hyung mirrors my moves and I need extra practice anyway.”“Are you sure?” Hoseok asked. The three younger members looked visibly hopeful at Namjoon’s suggestion.“Yes,” Namjoon nodded.So that was what they did. Instead of practicing the full choreography, Seokjin walked his formation parts. That definitely made it a lot easier. Still, Seokjin bumped into members many times and every time he did it he felt horrible. It also didn’t help that Seokjin found a few of them especially attractive when dancing. The dance practice went on for three hours, they had a lunch break, and they continued again. After another five hours, when they called it a day, Seokjin almost cheered and pumped a fist into the air. He was exhausted and desperately miss his luxurious bed. Seokjin was going to follow the rest of the members out when someone tugged the end of his shirt.“I ordered take out for us,” Namjoon said.Oh. Right. It was almost gut wrenching to know that he had to stay. Seokjin glared at the back of Namjoon’s round head bitterly. Why couldn’t Namjoon just accept the fake injury excuse?Everyone except two bodyguards left Namjoon and Seokjin to their own devices. They sat side by side on the chairs in the dance studio, munching away the takeout. Seokjin chewed the food loudly, the noises echoing in the empty dance hall. It was a combination of Korean and Japanese food, and Seokjin’s empty stomach found it incredibly delicious.Seokjin watched Namjoon from the corner of his eyes. Namjoon was scrolling through his phone, eyebrows furrowing while eating with a carelessness that Seokjin knew no mother would tolerate.“Hey,” Seokjin said.Namjoon looked up from his screen.“Why don’t you finish eating first and then look at your phone later? This is not good for digestion,” Seokjin pointed to his phone.Namjoon looked at Seokjin for a few seconds, then his phone, then Seokjin again.“I have many things I need to look over. I won’t have time tonight because I am stuck here,” Namjoon said. With that, his eyes went back to his phone, leaving Seokjin fuming.Seokjin wanted to ask Namjoon why didn’t he just let Seokjin fake an injury then? But he knew what Namjoon would say. And a small part of Seokjin wanted to show Namjoon that he could do it too. Maybe he’s not perfect but he’s not useless. They resumed dancing about half an hour after they finished their dinner. Seokjin felt his focus sharpen a lot more once there weren’t spectators judging him. On top of that, Namjoon was slower and bigger with his moves compared to other members, and this was helpful for Seokjin to follow.Seokjin stared at his reflection in the mirror while Namjoon continued on.“For this move, you want to appear like a wave,” Namjoon said, shifting from right to left, changing his body weight and arms direction.Seokjin obliged, and he looked nothing like a wave. He looked like awkward lump of coal in his gray t-shirt and sweatpants. Perhaps sensing Seokjin’s sour mood, Namjoon said, “it’s fine, you actually did the move perfectly. You just need to relax, soften your body, and try to stretch yourself taller and longer.”Seokjin nodded and tried again.This time, it was a lot better, but something was still missing. Seokjin frowned at himself.“It’s your leg, it shouldn’t be pointed inward. Watch me,” Namjoon said.Seokjin looked at Namjoon’s body. Namjoon was wearing a pair of loose black pants that accentuated his long legs. Seokjin’s eyes trailed the legs to see the position better, and he couldn’t help but notice how snug the fabric fit on Namjoon’s muscular thighs. “You got that?” Namjoon asked.“What-” Seokjin spluttered, then blushed when he saw Namjoon’s unimpressed expression. “No, I am sorry.”Namjoon sighed. Seokjin scolded himself for having those pathetic thoughts. He had no place salivating after someone he so detested just one week ago. Now he looked dumb as fuck in this person’s eyes.“Why don’t you try the position, pause it and show me,” Namjoon said.Seokjin obliged. He saw Namjoon staring at his position in the mirror, and he blushed. He knew it was for learning, but his mind went somewhere else.Namjoon didn’t seem to notice. He was focused on Seokjin’s position. In fact, he decided to approach Seokjin. He put his hand on top of Seokjin’s knee, and pressed some weight on his hand and shifted Seokjin’s kneecap a little until it was pointing out. Seokjin tried to absorb the move, but all he could do was smell the mix of sweat and a wood scent, and feel the warm body heat right beside him.“Why don’t you try it like that?” Namjoon asked, finally looking up and meeting Seokjin’s eyes in the mirror. The moment those narrow long eyes saw Seokjin’s, they widened. Namjoon probably saw how affected Seokjin was, red faced and neck, mouth slightly ajar and eyes unfocused.“Th-thanks,” Seokjin said quickly, and tried to get away from the uncomfortably arousing position he was in. He moved a little fast, and instead of safely getting out of the situation, he tripped, and landed right in Namjoon’s arms.Seokjin felt the warm and strong arms circle his waist, and Namjoon’s smell spread in his nostrils. He looked up and met Namjoon’s eyes. Those eyes seemed softer than he remembered, gently looking at Seokjin like he wanted to make sure Seokjin was okay, then they sharped and roamed across Seokjin’s face. Seokjin heard his heart pound in his chest and he tried to get out of this position but found himself weak in the legs and arms, unable to let go. He waited for about two seconds and when nothing was happening, he said, “let go,” his voice sounded breathless in his ears.That seemed to have done the trick, as Namjoon popped his eyes open and jumped backwards like he touched a hot iron. Seokjin finally had room to breath, but now standing alone in the studio with Namjoon, he felt incredibly self conscious. Much more than when he first had to sing in front of Namjoon. They resumed. As Seokjin followed Namjoon in the choreography, he felt as if every inch of his body was burning. His neck, his face, his ears, his arms, and especially the part of his waist that was touched by Namjoon’s hands. He saw in the mirror the reflection of just that - he was red in the face and ears, and pink spread on his neck and continued under his collars.He tried to force himself to focus back on the choreography, to concentrate moving his arms and legs instead of thinking back to what just happened. It was difficult, but time was passing by quickly and soon it will be eleven. It was pointless to fantasize about the man beside him. Namjoon was straight, and he was a celebrity. Seokjin would be digging a hole to bury himself in if he dared thinking that he even had a chance with the man. Besides, didn’t Seokjin hate him not long ago?Still, Seokjin’s mind occasionally wandered when perspiration slide down Namjoon’s check and neck, and his sweaty t-shirt clung to his back showing toned muscles. Namjoon seemed to be totally unfazed by the incident and continuously practiced the choreography again and again until Seokjin got it. It was only when he had to demonstrate a certain move, Namjoon stopped showing by touching, and instead just slowed down and remained patient until Seokjin got it. Seokjin was thankful, he didn’t know what would happen if Namjoon continued the touch and learn. Seokjin clenched his teeth was determined to be as professional. Another hour passed and all thoughts of how delicious Namjoon looked dissipated. It was replaced with exhaustion and the lingering thought of when are they done and when can they go home. Seokjin knew the moves now and all they were doing was tweaking the details. When the music finished and Namjoon went to press re-play, Seokjin opened his mouth.“Can we call it a day? I already got the moves and it is almost midnight. Don’t we have to get up at eight tomorrow?”“Yeah, plenty of time,” Namjoon said, not looking at Seokjin and instead back to his standby dancing position.The music started.“I am not doing this anymore. If I continue I’ll be too tired for tomorrow. If I don’t get enough sleep, I probably will forget everything I learned today,” Seokjin said over the beats of music, standing still as a stone.Namjoon abruptly stopped his moves and stared hard at Seokjin. “This is not how we do things around here.”“Well, this is how I do things,” Seokjin said, ignoring Namjoon’s stare. He was just a commoner, why does he have to sacrifice his body and sleep over a dance performance? He walked straight to his piles of clothes stacked on a table.“Okay, how are you going to get home?” Namjoon said behind him. “You don’t know the address and I’m not leaving.”Seokjin swished around. His face was red but this time it wasn’t from arousal but from anger. “Why not? You stayed in the first place because I didn’t know the choreography. Now I do.”“It doesn’t matter if you know the choreography or not. I would have still stayed.”“Why?”“Because I’m still not good enough for the stage. Far from it,” Namjoon sat down and combed his hair with his hands. “I always look like a sore thumb on stage. Always.”“What are you even saying-” Seokjin felt a little surprised at this sudden self beating from Namjoon. But it it was just an instant - Namjoon almost immediately collected himself and stood up right. He walked to turn the music off, then looked at Seokjin.“If you really want to go, fine. But know that what you show now is far from what fans expect. If you go back now, you might as well fake your injury, like you initially suggested.”Seokjin felt those words like a slap on his face. He had worked hard for more than ten hours, almost nonstop, yet Namjoon was telling him it was not good enough. He felt trapped. If he dismissed Namjoon’s words he was basically bowing down to a challenge, showing Namjoon, Mr. Bang and Sejin of course he was a lowly peasant who can’t do idol life. But if he stayed then Namjoon would know his words had won Seokjin over.After a fight in his head about what he should do, his feet stayed on the ground. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay and practice more,” Seokjin said reluctantly. Then he turned to look at Namjoon and added, “Only if I have some more food though.” When he looked up, he could almost see a ghost of a smile on Namjoon’s face.Namjoon led Seokjin to their back workroom which apparently had all the kitchen equipments, including a huge fridge and a microwave. Namjoon pulled out one of the pre made food boxes and started to heat it up. He stood at the side of the room. In the meantime Seokjin had his head planted in between the fridge doors, checking out all his options. There were all kinds of food, from side dishes like kimchi and japchae to full blown meals like bibimbap and bulgogi. There were also drinks of all types, aloe, ice tea, ice coffee, orange juice, banana milk and he even spotted champagne. “Have you decided what you want yet, geez,” Namjoon said behind him. Seokjin felt a tap on his bum. Shocked, Seokjin turned around narrowly missing the handle of the fridge and stared at Namjoon.“S-sorry, I thought you were Jin hyung for a second there,” Namjoon seemed like he was speechless as well, and looked like his entire being was regretting what he did.Ah of course. Seokjin turned back to his food. His mood soured though. At that instant he thought maybe Namjoon was flirting with him. Of course Namjoon mistook him for someone else. How could he be so stupid?After deciding on the food, they sat opposite of each other eating. Seokjin looked at Namjoon who was every bit hungry as he was and almost inhaled the late night snack. Namjoon now, with a trace of stubble and unkept hair from dancing, sweat taint clothes, looked every bit like a boy just like every other boy out there. It was kind of endearing.“What?” Sensing Seokjin’s stare, Namjoon looked up.“What made you become an idol?” Seokjin asked the first thing that came to his mind. He didn’t want to be caught staring.“There wasn’t an intention of becoming an idol for me. It was more I liked words and music, and didn’t want to do the same 9-5 job my parents did,” Namjoon said. “At the time it was simple. I just wanted to do what I enjoy,” he finished and gazed into his cup, as if he was reminiscing about the past.“And now?” “Now?” Namjoon looked back at Seokjin.“Is it what you imagined it to be?”Namjoon was at a loss for words for a second there. He stared at the remnants of his plate. His face was framed softly in the warm light. “Well, it’s much more than a 9-5 job, that’s for sure,” Namjoon finally broke his silence. “As a celebrity, your job never really leaves you, especially if you are famous.”“I would imagine so. Isn’t that tiring?”Namjoon smiled sadly at Seokjin. “Unfortunately, all the time. But then I get encouragements too, and when I see the smiling faces of the fans, it’s all worth it.”“They are that important to you?”“Yeah, they are the reason why I’m happy,” Namjoon said.What Namjoon said was engraved in Seokjin’s mind. When they started practicing again and even when they were finally done, three hours past midnight, Seokjin still thought about how melancholy Namjoon had looked when he said those words. Seokjin felt incredibly sad for the leader. Down the road, when fans eventually grow distant or leave, how was Namjoon supposed to move on?He didn’t voice that though, he only looked out the taxi window. The roads were completely quiet in the area, save for a few youngsters still wandering late at night wasting their youths away. Seokjin thought about the person who sat beside him, Kim Namjoon, who was probably the same age if not younger than these people. Would Namjoon ever get to experience this kind of freedom? Of walking down the street not going anywhere and just experience the valuable time of youth? Namjoon was two years younger than Seokjin but he was responsible for so much. When they got off the taxi, Namjoon’s black puma sweater and pants seemed to merge with the darkness. There were no one around them, they were accompanied by the lights from the sky and sounds of rustling wind. They walked among the curved roads with trimmed hedges around them. A few steps before they reach the lobby, Seokjin opened his mouth.“Namjoon? I just want to say thanks.”Namjoon stopped and looked at him.“I know you didn’t have to help me. I know you did it not for me but for the team. But still, I want to appreciate your efforts.”“My efforts-” one side of Namjoon’s mouth lifted up.“And there’s also something I wanted to say,” Seokjin hurried on. “If there’s ever anything you couldn’t tell anybody because you had to be RM, because you had to be a leader, just know that you can rely on me,” Seokjin looked up and looked into Namjoon’s eyes. “That I’ll be here to listen to Kim Namjoon.”Seokjin felt his face burn. He didn’t know why he said that. Perhaps it was because of the long hours of practicing had made him feel closer to Namjoon, perhaps it was the conversation they had earlier, perhaps it was the calmness of the night. Whatever it was, he immediately felt dumb. Why would this famous celebrity ever need his help-“Thank you, Seokjin hyung,” Namjoon said. He smiled and walked out of the shadows of the hedge, the moonlight shone onto him. There was a soft glow around him.Seokjin felt a surge of warmth in his chest that he haven’t experienced in a long time.****Seokjin forced himself to stop feeling the stomach butterflies as they walked back to their suite together without a word. It was useless, every time he replayed Namjoon’s smile the butterflies swarm inside him like it’s springtime. It was when they opened the door and walked into the living room that Seokjin noticed that a few members still haven’t slept.“Yoongi hyung, Tae,” Namjoon said.Seokjin blinked and saw it was indeed these two who were deep in discussion. “Oh, you guys are back,” Taehyung said. He waved to them and smiled softly. “How did practice go?”Namjoon opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Yoongi. “You guys look too happy and alert after hours of practice. What happened?”“What-” “Huh-” Namjoon and Seokjin said at the same time.“Joonie hyung just likes Jin hyung so much, you know that Yoongi,” Taehyung smiled. “Tae-” Namjoon said.“I’m so glad you guys are good now, it hurts to see you two avoiding each other,” Taehyung continued. “Well they’re professionals after all. Right Jin hyung?” Yoongi asked. His eyes under the dim light appeared oddly sharp and focused. He reminded Seokjin of a feline, mild and laid back in daytime but alert in the night. Seokjin had to be his best behavior around this man.“Of course,” Seokjin smiled in what he hoped was a strong smile.“Well, you straight men go sleep, we gays will continue talking-” Taehyung said. Then his head got slapped by a paper from Yoongi.“I don’t discriminate, thank you very much.”Seokjin glanced at Namjoon, wanting to share a look, but he froze when he saw how Namjoon’s expression turned gloom. Without saying anything more or looking at any of them, Namjoon turned to go to his room. Seokjin felt the butterflies gone and were replaced with ice.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next day BTS had multiple schedules outside. Seokjin, along with the other members, were shoveled onto their respective cars and headed toward the TV station. Seokjin sat in the same car as Jimin. Jimin was completely asleep beside him. Seokjin was dozing off in the car when he started hearing muffled noises, and they were getting louder and harder to ignore. He lifted one of his eyelids open, and suddenly was faced with numerous faces and cameras through the car window. “Ahhhh!” Seokjin eyes widened and he startled back. That scared him. His eyes followed the heads, and he saw almost endless lines of fans coming their way. There were people holding up banners and lightsticks.Wow, that’s a lot of people. Seokjin felt his anxiety spike from the possibility of facing all these people. When the car door opened, the screams were deafening. What felt like thousands of cameras flashed at them the same time. Seokjin tried hard to not put his hands above his ears to lessen the screams or cover his eyes from the flash. He knew that would upset the fans and make him land headlines on the paper. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Jimin who was fully alert now, smiling and waving to the fans like he was never sleepy in the first place.Seokjin suddenly grew an inch more respect for these BTS members. They need to always be on their best because of all the scrutinizing from public. Seokjin was already getting a headache from all the commotion, yet they face this almost everyday. They were able to squeeze through a path thanks to tough and buff managers and bodyguards. Once in the building, there were so many people waiting for them. They were led quickly to a waiting room to polish on their makeup, all the while there were reporters taking pictures of them. Seokjin never had makeup done, so he had to contain his sneeze and uncomfort when one product after another was applied on his face. His eyes moved around, and he saw most of his members napping while they were getting makeup done from the stylists. Yoongi even had his mouth slightly open from sleep.How were they able to nap when there were people touching their faces? Seokjin felt a little bit incredulous. Then he remembered they get this done all the time. They were probably used to it by now.After the makeup, they were put into skintight outfits that made Seokjin unconsciously self aware of his crotch more than he ever did. They were then herded like sheep and entered into a rusted hallway, looking to be a corridor that connects the waiting rooms and the filming site. It was for a variety show, Seokjin had learned from his scheduling sheets, and it was one that he knew did physical activities so he weren’t that worried. As long as they don’t ask him personal questions about BTS, or ask him to perform choreography of old songs on the spot, he was good.To his surprise, the variety show wasn’t physical activity, but a trivia to test their knowledge on the recent news of the world.Seokjin used to browse all kinds of news regularly when he worked in net cafe so he was able to answer many questions. At the end, the host even said, he knew Kim Namjoon has an IQ of 148, but who knew there was another brain in the team?Namjoon only smiled sheepishly and Seokjin grumbled an “uh oh” in his head. Hope that didn’t leave too much of a red flag.On the ride to their next schedule, Jungkook asked him about his ability to know so much, and Seokjin just said he read up on stuff when he was in a hospital. Jungkook gave him a sympathetic look and turned back to napping. Seokjin was dead tired, mentally and physically, but he wasn’t able to sleep, too excited from all these new things happening around him. Getting to their next stop the fans only increased. This time it looked to be a recurring recording area for their in-house variety show. They were led inside quickly through a passage that required security approved cards to pass through. Then, once inside, they were guided to a large kitchen area, all the while getting their makeup touched on the way.Seokjin was right behind Hoseok and in front of Taehyung. Seokjin felt a little bit dizzy, heated from the nonstop fast pace activities. He felt his tight pants were riding up and clutching his private parts a little uncomfortably.“These pants are choking my penis,” he said, words coming out of his mouth before thinking.Hoseok, in front of him, turned around and rolled his eyes. “Deal with it. My dick is twice the size of yours,” Taehyung jabbed his spine from the back.Seokjin chortled, and then started to laugh from the absurdity of it all. It soon spread to the rest of them, all chuckling as they headed into the filming room. The day passed quickly, thankfully without incident. Sejin most likely scanned the activities beforehand, Namjoon helped in the talk when the host asked Seokjin tough questions, and Seokjin’s ability to think on his two feet really helped. In the next three or four days their days were also packed, filled with practice in between the long hours of variety show filming. Seokjin practiced dancing after the members left, now mostly by himself as Namjoon went to the studio with the two rappers to work on music. Thank god for that. Seokjin couldn’t think about what might happen if it was always just him and Namjoon.Seokjin was physically exhausted, but more mentally adjusted to the screaming fans and hectic life with almost no free time for himself. He pulled his personal notebook once to quickly scribble down his recent thoughts, then rushed to catch their next schedule. He became accustomed to himself in the empty dance room, music vibrating in the background while he practiced the choreography again and again. He became familiar with the darkness of the night that seemed like a safety blanket wrapped around him after hours of practice. His relationships with the members, although not the closest, was not bad at all. He gave them respect and they gave him theirs. Except for the occasional slip of tongue, the anxiety spike he has right before a group dance practice, and the increased heartbeat when a particular member was styled to look so good that Seokjin couldn’t help but stare, he got everything under control. Until it started changing that one night.Seokjin was practicing in his room late, and he got hungry. He opened the door and was about to head downstairs when hushed voices murmured in the living room.“There was no reason to accept that festival. We are swamped as it is,” Yoongi said. His voice was calm and collected.“It’s our only chance to see our fans there for a long while, you know that,” Namjoon said. He sounded frustrated. “But we can’t go see them just to disappoint them, we are not ready. Even if Jin stays and practices on his own, he’s still not confident enough yet. Besides, Jungkook-”Seokjin blanked out for a few seconds there, hearing his name mentioned, then quickly walked downstairs. He saw the three rappers in the living room. His slippers were soft and didn’t make a sound. They didn’t notice him. “-still has residual injury from the concert last time. Do you really think it’s a good idea to go to the festival?” Yoongi asked.Namjoon didn’t answer to that. He just stared at his hand.“Jungkook would be so pissed if he knew you want to cancel a concert because of his injuries,” Hoseok said.Yoongi shook his head vehemently. “I don’t care if I have to play the bad cop. I’ve done my fair share of extremities when I was younger and even had to go to hospital for it. But what I want for us, is long term, is sustainable. And not just some spark in the sky that lasts a few seconds and then burns and falls off. Jin hyung would want the same,” Yoongi said.Namjoon laughed at that, a dry ugly laugh that made Seokjin feel his blood run cold.“Sure. If he even cares-” Namjoon said.“I thought you two made up,” Hoseok frowned.There was a silence, then, “Let’s talk about this another time. I’m going upstairs,” Namjoon said.Seokjin turned around in a hurry and slipped back into his room. His heart pounded from the possibility of being discovered. The conversation felt a little bit too personal, like it was only meant for the three rappers. Still, he heard it, and he was a little bit hurt by what Namjoon said. Just because he was only here for one month didn’t mean he didn’t care. He was working so hard because he cared. Seokjin ran over the conversations again in his mind. His chest squeezed painfully when he remembered the casual way Namjoon put him down easily in front of the other members. When Namjoon encouraged him at the dance studio, was that all a pretend?
Well duh. What did you expect an idol to do? To actually care want you succeed, and to actually sharing their feelings?
There were three sharp knocks at the door, and Seokjin jumped.“Hyung?”
Namjoon.
Seokjin took a big breath. “Yeah, what’s up?” he put on his best impassive expression, got up and opened the door.Namjoon changed into his pajamas. He had on purple pajamas with blue koala bears splattered over the garment. Seokjin vaguely remembered this pajama set was from their merchandise, BT24 or something. It looked soft and cozy on Namjoon. Seokjin looked at Namjoon, and suddenly he felt the knots of his thoughts untangle and replaced by an urge to reach out and touch the pajamas. Namjoon looked like he just finished showering. The tip of his hair was a bit wet and his face was bare and clean. He also smelt like grapefruit. Namjoon looked at Seokjin beneath his bangs. Seokjin felt his heart rate pick up. The scene at the dance studio came back to him and suddenly he was nervous.“Can I come in?”“Yeah, of course,” Seokjin said. He willed himself to calm down. It didn’t mean anything, Namjoon coming to his room. Namjoon was just here to make sure Seokjin could fake in the group for the rest of the month. Oh yeah, Namjoon was probably worried. Especially since he said Seokjin didn’t care. Seokjin felt his anger bubbling. “I overhead your conversation with Yoongi and Hoseok downstairs,” Seokjin said before he could stop himself, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but-”“Yeah?”“But I heard what you said about me. You said that I didn’t care about this,” Seokjin folded his arms across his chest and glared. “Do you really think I’d put in this much effort if I didn’t care-”“Oh, no, you got it all wrong,” Namjoon shook his head furiously. “I wasn’t talking about you.”“You weren’t?”“No,” Namjoon sighed. He dropped himself on Seokjin’s bed. “I was talking about Jin hyung.” He looked up at Seokjin, then smiled sheepishly, “you worked really hard, I would never say that about you.”“Ah, okay,” Seokjin said. He tried hard to not look at Namjoon on his bed, with his eyes softer on the edges looking young and approachable. “I wanted to know,” Namjoon said slowly, meeting Seokjin’s eyes as he continued, “that your promise still holds. That you are available here to listen to Kim Namjoon.”Seokjin stared back at Namjoon, processing the information. Did Namjoon-“It’s just, I don’t know what to do,” Namjoon said. He stretched his long arms in the air, and fell on top of Seokjin’s bed. Seokjin forced himself to look at Namjoon’s face and not the exposed midriff. “This festival, it’s the only opportunity to meet our fans in Singapore. Yoongi’s points were valid, we can’s afford to get injured,” Namjoon looked up at the ceiling. Seokjin saw a few droplets of water from the shower sliding down Namjoon’s long neck. Seokjin swallowed. He should really stop thinking this, especially since Namjoon actually came to him with a serious concern.
Focus Seokjin. Focus.
“Well, is there a way to satisfy both?” Seokjin asked. “What do you mean?”“You see the fans and you don’t get injured.”“I mean, we probably won’t get injured, but it’s that with the choreo-”“Can you change the choreo?” Seokjin asked. Namjoon looked at him. Seokjin felt his breath caught at the eye contact. Namjoon had such beautiful eyes. He forced himself to not look away. “To be honest, I always thought you guys could scale the dance back and still make the fans happy. You were popular because of your dance performances, but now that you’ve established yourselves, do you have to do those rigorous dance every time?”Namjoon didn’t answer him immediately. He closed his eyes in thought. It was quiet except for the occasional rustling of wind outside. Seokjin could almost hear the deep breathes Namjoon took while he pondered on what Seokjin said.“I think you are onto something,” Namjoon cracked his eyes open and he pushed himself back up. He grinned at Seokjin.“Of course I am,” Seokjin said, hands covered his chest in an exaggerated way. It kind of helped to calm down the butterflies in his stomach. It was just a smile, god damn it.The smile didn’t fade. “You know what, I feel like I haven’t got to know you enough. Why don’t you tell me more about yourself.” “That sounds like an interview question,” Seokjin chuckled.“How’s it like outside?” Namjoon changed his sitting position so his legs are crossed. “I mean, like what you do for a living and what you do for fun?”Seokjin could tell Namjoon was genuinely interested from the way his eyes bore onto him. Seokjin started talking. He talked about his job, the one he quit right before this “It’s okay I don’t love it anyway,”. About the park he liked to visit when it was early and there were very little people there, about how his family wanted him married.“They said they don’t care if it is more difficult for a gay guy, they just want me to have somebody,” Seokjin sighed.Namjoon smiled affectionately. “They sound amazing.”Seokjin then went on about his dad’s obsession about dad jokes, and how he had to start looking them up to balance the family equilibrium. Namjoon asked for a few, and Seokjin started firing them out. Namjoon laughed, his shoulders shaking and his torso swayed back and forth. It was so infectious that Seokjin joined in. Seokjin felt light, and his chest growing warm with happiness. He haven’t felt like this in a long time.They talked about all kinds of things, from food to climate change, then to the current political environment. Seokjin found Namjoon extremely easy to talk to, the man was intelligent, full of curiosity, and did not judge anything Seokjin said. He seemed to be very into the mundane stuff that Seokjin found boring. They were discussing bus cards when Namjoon stifled a yawn. The leader leaned back to lay down on Seokjin’s bed. “Do you know it’s so interesting to talk to you? You look exactly like Jin hyung but you are so different,” Namjoon looked at the ceiling. “Yeah?”“Yeah.”“Do you miss him?” Seokjin asked. He didn’t know why he asked that. He surprised himself.Namjoon turned to him. Shadows were casted on his face, Seokjin couldn’t see his expression clearly.“I do, but it’s for the better he’s not here, if he doesn’t want to be here,” Namjoon said.“I am sorry,” Seokjin said. He regretted bringing this topic up.“Don’t be. I’m glad you are here. It’s been so long I’ve had the chance to talk to someone without reservation,” Namjoon said.Seokjin heard the heaviness in his voice. It must be lonely, to be unable to reach out to people easily. “The members are good, but I have to appear as the responsible and reliable one to them,” Namjoon said.“And you are doing a good job at it,” Seokjin said. “Thanks.”Seokjin wondered if he should bring up his past history with his ex boyfriend and how he broke up with him because of Namjoon, and his Namjoon anti phase, but he decided to not mention it. By the time he thought of the topic to talk about, he noticed it was awfully quiet in the room. It looked like Namjoon fell asleep talking to him.Seokjin crept up to the younger man, his footsteps light to not disturb the beauty sleep Namjoon was in. Namjoon’s hair fell soft in front of his face. Without makeup and wearing the fluffy pajamas, he looked like a child. His mouth was slightly open. Seokjin found it endearing.Suddenly Seokjin wanted to save this moment. It might be the only opportunity he had to have some kind of keepsake of his time here. Seokjin pulled out his personal phone, and slowly hovered it above Namjoon’s face. He made sure the phone is silent, and pressed his finger lightly.*He got the picture.His heartbeat in his ears, Seokjin quickly placed the phone back. Zoomed in on his screen was a picture of Namjoon’s face. Seokjin couldn’t hold back his grin. Whether it was because he got a celebrity picture, or it was Namjoon specifically, he didn’t want to ponder about it.When Seokjin got over the excitement of having the picture, he realized he had a dilemma in his hand. Namjoon fell asleep in his bed. How was he supposed to sleep now? Should he wake Namjoon up?But Namjoon probably don’t get enough sleep as it is.Seokjin stared at the large king sized bed. There shouldn’t be a problem to fit two people, should it?Ears red, Seokjin tip toed to the other side of the bed. He told himself this meant nothing. Namjoon was straight and was a person he could never be with. Still, Seokjin could smell the fresh grapefruit from Namjoon and it somehow made him very nervous.Seokjin had slept beside strangers before, when he was in university and partied all night. But his current life was passed that, and those strangers were never someone on the same level as Namjoon.Seokjin squeezed his eyes. The anti fan in him weeks ago would be outraged that he chose to sleep beside the person he vowed to defame.
This is nothing. It means nothing.
Seokjin turned off the light switch and slipped under the blankets. He felt the area warmer than usual, and in that instant every particle in his limbs was lit with fire.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Seokjin inhaled long and deep, and throughout he felt the roll of Namjoon’s breath beside him.
Don’t freak out.
Seokjin’s mind wandered back to the day when they practiced in the studio, how Namjoon’s body had looked with t-shirt clung to his chest.
Stop. Don’t go there.
He remembered when Namjoon did certain moves of the choreography, how strong his arms and legs looked. How Namjoon’s face was flushed from the practice, and his hair was rustled and messy.To Seokjin’s horror, he was getting a boner. It must be because he was sex deprived after he broke up with his ex boyfriend. He shook his head. He got up and went to the washroom. He splashed cold water onto his face.“Don’t even think about it,” Seokjin pointed to himself in the mirror. Seokjin went back to the bed and decided to lay his face at the foot of the bed. That way at least he won’t hear Namjoon’s deep breaths and see Namjoon’s face inches away. Seokjin stuffed his face into the pillow. Eventually, his exhaustion caught up to him and he drifted off to sleep.****Seokjin was woken by sounds of toilet flushing. He yawned, eyes still heavy. There was little to no sunlight, judging by the darkness of the room. Then his bathroom door opened, and light shot at his eyes. Seokjin groaned and turned, avoiding the bright light.“Sorry.”Seokjin felt himself suddenly fully awake. His eyes slowly rolled until he saw Namjoon standing right at the other end of the bed. “I just woke up and changed,” Namjoon said. His voice was lower than usual, and Seokjin shivered at the timber at the end of the sentence. Seokjin lifted himself up with his elbows. Namjoon had changed out of his non threatening purple pajamas and was wearing a white low v neck shirt and black leather jeans. He looked awfully tall and fit. Seokjin swallowed. “This was Jin hyung’s, I used to wear them to piss him off,” Namjoon said.“Well, you look good in them,” Seokjin said. His voice was a bit hoarse from sleep. “He should be happy they were for a good cause.”Namjoon smiled. Seokjin felt his heart race. It was unfair how Namjoon got such a nice smile.“Why did you sleep by my feet last night?” Namjoon walked over and sat on the bed, cutting the proximity between them in half.“Wha-what?” Seokjin backed off a little. He needed to put in some safe distance.“I woke up next to your feet, Seokjin hyung,” Namjoon grinned. He leaned closer, his teasing smile never leaving his face. “Is, is that a problem?” Seokjin stammered.Namjoon burst out laughing. “I am just joking,” he got up from the bed. Seokjin breathed a sigh of relief.“I am just that handsome that you are too attracted to sleep right beside me huh?” Namjoon said. Then, seeing Seokjin’s widened eyes, he laughed again. “I’m just joking! You should see your face,” Namjoon extended his arms and patted Seokjin’s soft hair. He then turned and walked to the door. “Thanks for the talk last night Seokjin hyung, really appreciate it.”“No problem,” Seokjin said weakly while he watched Namjoon opened the door and left.Whew. Seokjin buried himself in the blankets. He could hear his heartbeat loud in his ears. He breathed in the pale blue bed sheet and smelt the lingering trace of grapefruit. He grinned uncontrollably. He suddenly felt like a teenager being in love again.