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Taemin danced around the stage, those beautiful hands and fingers, curving and twirling through the air. He showed half a smile and the smooth curve of his neck leaned to the side as his legs bent and balanced the complex position with ease. A slight shift with one of his feet and his hip circled to create a flowing motion. Fucking dancers being so fucking pretty. Of course he knew he was darn-near irresistible to anyone watching. That was part of the deal.Key cursed under his breath, as the audience roared with the loudest cheer so far that evening. He’d be impossible to deal with after this. Of course Key would be able to mimic him perfectly if he tried; he just couldn’t be bothered to. And what did it matter anyway? Taemin was the star. He didn’t mind honestly. He just wished the maknae wouldn’t be so bratty about it.Taemin was great at “putting his resources to their best use” as Onew called it. It meant he got basically anything he wanted as long as he had the patience to try. Somehow he also managed to get it without anyone holding it against him. That was his trick. He’d smile innocently at someone or let out a silly laugh and they’d be eating out of his hands.Soon he’d be telling his members about his latest spoils, like a free steak dinner, a new jacket or a ride in a cool sports car. He’d mention it naturally like it just managed to land on his lap by sheer luck. Of course Key knew better. It was Taemin’s superpower to seem harmless and charming and make people willingly give him things or do him favors with no strings attached. Key bet they were even happy for the honor of making the maknae happy.Some got an even greater honor than just giving material gifts. Key had seen the sly looks Taemin gave certain people that’d pass them by, and heard the distinct sounds coming from his hotel room or dressing room whenever Taemin had found a new fun friend to play with. They usually didn’t stay around for long, but it seemed to keep the maknae entertained anyway. Key was just glad he was being smart about it and never took any dumb risks. As long as he keep it clean and acted responsibly, Key had no complaints.Casually looking around the backstage room he wondered who Taemin’s next target would be. After all the years they’d worked together, Key knew his habits well. He’d even made a bit of a sport of it, betting with Minho who’d be next. This time he was on his own though. Minho was busy hanging out with Taehyung of BTS.So Key silently glanced around the room. Fancy suit-guy that could buy him some nice fancy jewelry? No, Taemin could easily buy that for himself and old guys were so boring. Shy lighting crew member who was looking around the room in slight panic? Too easy, and too risky, plus that dumb sports cap was a clear deal breaker. The managers were too professional to sleep with an idol. And any of the stylists were out of the question. They were all married anyway.That left… idols. Key kept looking. Was there a fresh face and strong body good enough to tempt the great Taemin? Suddenly he smiled. He’d found what he was looking for. This could get interesting…---Jungkook was getting his make-up redone for the umpteenth time, waiting for their time to perform. It was a long wait and he got bored easily. Usually he’d play around with Taehyung but today he wasn’t around. Apparently he’d found one of his Hwarang co-stars, Minho from Shinee, to hang out with. The hyungs were all sleeping on the couches, and he’d already changed into the stage clothes so a work-out was out of the question. He sighed deeply. Time always moved so slowly in a waiting room.He loved his job, but sometimes all that time waiting was enough to make him think he’d go crazy. All that energy running through his body, what was he supposed to do with it? The fans had often described him as a bunny and he couldn’t help but agree. Next to his older members he often felt like that bunny in the battery commercials that just kept running and running when everyone had stopped long ago. It might seem like a good thing, but it also got frustrating in the long run. He loved his hyungs but sometimes he wished he knew someone that could keep up.The door to the waiting room suddenly opened and Taemin greeted them all with a bow, waving happily at Jimin in his make-up chair. Getting up, Jimin quickly came over to hug his friend.“I came over to see how you’re doing”, Taemin said happily, smiling wide at Jimin and Jungkook, the only members around and awake. Looking over at Jungkook, there was understanding in his eyes as he added gleefully: “Are you still alive?”“We’re fine, thank you”, Jungkook answered politely. Jimin laughed.“That’s not how it sounded two minutes ago”, he teased and started mimicking Jungkook’s whines. “Hyung, I swear I’ll die in a waiting room. One day they’ll find me looking like a mummy: Dead, dry and shriveled up from sheer boredom. Why is there always such a long wait, hyung?!”Taemin and Jimin laughed, and Jungkook couldn’t do anything else than laugh with them. It wasn’t like he could deny it anyway? That’s probably exactly how he’d sounded.“I know that feeling well”, Taemin admitted. “I still go crazy in our waiting room when none of my members are there to entertain me. It’s tough being the youngest and most energetic isn’t it?”He smiled knowingly again, and Jungkook realized he was probably one of the few people who’d actually understand what that was like. Taemin had been the maknae in his group for ten years already, debuting young just like Jungkook had.“Hyung, do you still feel like that in your group?” Jungkook had to ask.He assumed “hyung” would be an acceptable address since Taemin was a close friend of Jimin and they’d met many times before. Taemin didn’t seem to mind or even react to his choice of word, but Jimin glared at him from behind Taemin’s back, warning him to stay polite. Jungkook internally chortled. So typical of Jimin to suddenly start acting like a big brother and try to keep the maknae in line. He decided to ignore him.“I’ll always be the maknae of Shinee”, Taemin said. “So, yeah, the others will always be a step behind.” He laughed and Jungkook did too. Jimin didn’t look as pleased.“I’m lucky though, since I have Minho-hyung”, Taemin continued. “He works out a lot, and he’s really easy to manipulate and trick into doing stuff. It never gets as boring when he’s around.”“That’s a bit like Jin-hyung”, Jungkook laughed. “He’s also easy to trick.”“Yaa!” Jin suddenly shouted from his seat, and Jungkook eyes widened as he laughed with the others. Oops…“Maybe we should continue this conversation some other time”, Taemin said while still laughing. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your hyungs.”“That’d be nice”, Jungkook agreed, though he knew Jin was no trouble at all. A few smiles and he knew he’d be forgiven.“I’ll give you my number”, Taemin offered. “Call me whenever if you want to talk or just hang out.”“Thanks”, Jungkook answered, receiving the number. “Thank you”, he added a bit more formally after getting another glare from Jimin. Taemin smiled.“You don’t need to be so formal with me”, he said happily. “I bet you already have to speak formally to everyone around you. Please feel comfortable. Us maknaes need to stick together.” He winked before he left, saying goodbye to Jimin, the staff and the half-sleeping Jin.Jungkook looked down at the piece of paper in his hand and smiled. Having a friend in the business was always good, and when that person was also a close friend to his hyung, and a sunbaenim everyone idolized and looked up to? This could get interesting…
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It took a few days before Jungkook decided to text the number he’d gotten. First he had to figure out what to say, and then he had to work up the courage to say it. Finally he decided it was time. Even though he’d gotten better at acting confident and calm, talking to people he didn’t know that well was always a bit of a challenge. He easily got shy and started second-guessing himself. Hopefully that feeling would disappear fast when it was someone as easy to be around as Taemin.
Jungkook: Hello, this is BTS Jungkook. You said to get in touch. You free any time soon?
That was all he wrote. Not long after sending it he got a reply.
Taemin-hyung: I’m free tonight if you want to meet up?
That was very soon. Luckily Jungkook had the time and soon they’d set a place and time, a restaurant Taemin apparently liked a lot.Dressing for going over, Jungkook realized he had no idea what kind of meeting this was. How was he supposed to dress? Discreet hoodie? Nice button-up shirt? He finally settled on a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt and a black designer jacket Taehyung had picked out for him a few weeks ago in a store in L.A. It was proper without being too flashy. Looking into the mirror he smoothed his hair out, fixing it a little with some product. Make-up felt like too much. He still looked good he thought. Nice and reliable, mature but fun? His stomach tingled nervously as he left the dorm.Arriving at the restaurant he checked his watch. 10 minutes early. Should he go inside? Or wait? These were the kinds of things that always got him so confused and nervous. Having moved to Seoul at an early age meant he’d never learnt some things he wished he had. Staff and his hyungs had always taken care of it for him. Finally he decided to go inside just in case. What if Taemin was already waiting for him?Just when he was going to enter the door he heard a voice behind him.“Jungkook-ah”, Taemin said and smiled wide as he came up to put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, patting him familiarly. “Did you wait long?”“No, I just got here”, Jungkook said. “Hello hyung.”“Hello”, Taemin giggled and Jungkook was sure he was completely transparent and his nervousness was clear for anyone to see. But Taemin didn’t say anything about it. He just kept smiling and grabbed Jungkook’s elbow, leading him towards the door.“Let’s go inside”, he said and held the door open for Jungkook.Entering the restaurant, Jungkook saw many low tables between thin walls of bamboo. Above each table a large round lamp hung with cut out shapes, painting different kinds of shadows over the light brown walls and the wooden floors. The tables were surrounded by soft cushions and small green plants in pots. It looked very welcoming and cozy.Taemin led Jungkook past a long row of tables until they reached the far end of the large room. There, behind a tall potted plant that looked almost like a tree, Taemin pointed at a cushion for Jungkook to sit on. Following his hyung’s instructions Jungkook sat down by the low table and waited while Taemin spoke with the staff, probably making arrangements for their meal.“I ordered already”, Taemin explained when he finally sat down by the table. “I hope you don’t mind. It’s just that their stew is delicious and they also have amazing steak. Actually most of their food is great. I figured we could eat a little of this and that. You’re a big eater aren’t you?”“Yes”, Jungkook confessed.“Good”, Taemin smiled and winked. “Me too.”Jungkook smiled back, not sure what he should say next. He didn’t need to worry though, because Taemin was fully capable of carrying the conversation for the both of them. After some casual small talk, the food arrived. They started eating in silence and then looked up at each other, their eyes meeting again. Both of them had their mouths full, and they laughed happily at the similarity.It was nice, Jungkook felt, to be with someone that seemed to understand him so well. He didn’t need to try with Taemin. The evening flowed well enough anyway.As they joked and laughed together Jungkook felt more and more at ease. He even took some initiative and decided to order as well, and soon drinks arrived. Taemin usually didn’t drink much, but for Jungkook he said he could make an exception. They drank and toasted to maknaes being the best, and the most fun to hang out with, and the best dancers, and the most handsome, and…Jungkook had lost count of how many drinks they’d had, and his stomach was full of delicious meat and stew and everything else that Taemin had ordered for him. By the end he’d even started feeding him, because “he just had to try” this or that dish. And Jungkook just opened wide and accepted. He realized he hadn’t enjoyed himself this much in a long time. Good conversation, good food and drinks, a lot of laughs, and someone really hot beside him. It couldn’t really get much better than this. Unless…Just as he was thinking it, he saw Taemin leaning closer. Head foggy and warm happiness all over, he leaned in to meet him letting his lips capture Taemin’s. His eyes were already closed as he felt Taemin’s lips responding. Jungkook’s tongue teasingly licked Taemin’s lower lip before it was gone and Taemin had broken the contact.“Wow, that was…” Taemin smiled carefully at him. “I was just going to… you have some sauce on your cheek.” His finger reached out slowly and cleaned Jungkook’s right cheek that was now beginning to blush furiously.“I’m sorry, hyung”, Jungkook said, feeling embarrassed over the misunderstanding. How drunk was he to do something like this? It was so not like him.“Oh no, don’t apologize, please”, Taemin said, smiling and waving his hands dismissively. “It wasn’t a bad thing.” He looked at Jungkook again. “Or was it?” he added worriedly. “Did you change your mind?”“No!” Jungkook said, now feeling like he had to assure his hyung somehow. “I don’t regret it!” Didn’t he? He was beginning to fear his own reactions. Where was all of this confidence coming from?Taemin seemed happy with the answer though. He smiled shyly at Jungkook and slowly approached him. Jungkook forgot all worries and went with his gut. Kisses. He wanted kisses. Leaning in, this time Taemin met him and their kissing quickly turned passionate, tongues and sighs and soft moaning filling Jungkook’s mouth.His hands had found a tiny waist to hold on to and the cool fabric underneath his fingers was slippery, Taemin’s shirt sliding out of his pants and into Jungkook’s hands. Soon he could feel warm skin under his fingertips and he moaned, clawing at it and lifting Taemin onto his lap. His hyung didn’t seem to mind, only moaning back in response.Jungkook felt Taemin’s hands find their way over his chest and stomach, and up into his hair. His mind was halfway to heaven before Taemin broke away and stood up. Jungkook tried to grab at him, wondering why he’d stop, but Taemin wouldn’t budge. Instead he straightened his shirt and cleaned off his mouth, giving Jungkook a soft smile before he pointed at the thin bamboo walls behind him.“Maybe this isn’t the place”, he said and smiled sheepishly. “Although I asked them to keep the table closest to ours empty, you never know who could be listening. I’ll go pay and then I’ll meet you outside with the car?”Jungkook just nodded slowly, trying to catch up with what was going on. He wasn’t used to feeling this slow and dumb. What was he doing making out in public? He wasn’t usually one to take dumb risks. Taemin laughed at his confused face, and reached out to fix his hair for him. Jungkook remembered how his fingers had ruffled it earlier, almost tearing at it while they were making out. It’d been so hot.Taemin had already walked away to find some staff, so Jungkook shook his head to get back to reality, and then he walked to the door. Soon enough Taemin was there, stopping the car close to Jungkook so he could get in the passenger seat. Driving off, they didn’t say much to one another. Then Taemin burst out laughing.“This was so not how I saw this evening going”, he mused, laughing happily. “Not that I’m complaining. It isn’t every day a hot guy bravely kisses me like that!” He laughed some more, and it was making Jungkook laugh too.“I hadn’t planned to do it either”, he confessed. “It just kind of happened that way.”“I’m really glad it did”, Taemin said, shooting him a quick glance before his eyes were back on the road. “You’re a good kisser, you know that?”“Thank you”, Jungkook said, once again blushing with happy embarrassment.“You must’ve had a lot of practice I guess”, Taemin said. “You go around kissing people a lot?” He was clearly teasing him, but Jungkook still felt like he needed to defend himself.“Not really”, he confessed. “I’ve just always had an easy time with body control. Anything physical I learn pretty fast.”“Oh really?” Taemin said teasingly, flashing Jungkook a quick smile. “Are you trying to entice me now?”“What?” Jungkook said, realizing too late the implications of what he’d said. “No!” he gasped.“I’m just messing with you”, Taemin said. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed.”Jungkook didn’t have to look to know Taemin was smiling wide. He sighed trying to pull himself together. This wasn’t going at all the way he’d intended. Not that he was complaining, he realized. It was actually going even better than he’d expected. So maybe he hadn’t been trying to hook up with his hyung, but now that it was in the air he was enjoying every second of it.“So where to now?” he said, beginning to get his confidence back.“I don’t know”, Taemin confessed. “I hadn’t exactly planned this part out. Either we go somewhere like noraebang, or we could go to my place and watch a movie or something, or I could take you home if you want me to. Your choice.”“Let’s go to your place”, Jungkook said, feeling like he’d just hit the jackpot. This evening was exceeding all of his expectations.“Okay”, Taemin agreed, and Jungkook couldn’t help but notice how he wasn’t changing direction in the slightest. Had he anticipated that answer? Somehow that just made Jungkook even happier. It meant they were on the same page yet again. It was great to be with someone so similar to himself.Getting to Taemin’s apartment, they took off their shoes, and Taemin took a step inside to show Jungkook the place, but Jungkook was still feeling brave and hot and willing, so he grabbed Taemin and pulled him closer. Giggling, Taemin let him put his arms around him, lifting him up around his waist and carrying him into the bedroom.Things happened fast after that, and before he knew it Jungkook was sprawled naked underneath his hyung, legs spread wide and cock standing high and proud and eager. He smiled up at Taemin, who leaned down to nibble along his neck and collarbone as his hand started working Jungkook’s cock. The feelings were intense and rushing through Jungkook’s entire body now and he loved it, clinging to his hyung’s arms and moaning loudly.“You’re so hot”, Taemin whispered close to his skin.“Hyung”, Jungkook whined, grabbing Taemin’s shoulders in a firm grip, and suddenly Taemin was gone, out of his arms, missing. Jungkook felt cold and abandoned and very, very confused.“Hyung?” he said, sitting up slowly as his head spun a little. “Are you okay?”Taemin was standing next to the bed, pulling his clothes on with a sad look on his face. He didn’t even look at Jungkook, and felt unexpectedly distant.“You should leave”, he said quietly.“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jungkook said, reaching out to touch Taemin’s arm. Taemin easily sidestepped him, and when he looked up at him he seemed withdrawn and empty.“Just go home”, he said softly.Jungkook didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t feel like he could stay on Taemin’s bed forever, so he stood up and pulled on his clothes as well. Taemin left the room, and Jungkook soon followed him out towards the door.“Hyung, if I did something wrong, please tell me”, Jungkook said, starting to feel very self-conscious and doubtful about the whole thing. He must’ve done something, or missed something. Had he come on too strong? Taemin’s quick change of behavior must mean something bad, right? “Did I hurt you somehow?” he added, starting to feel awful about the whole thing. Taemin took a deep breath.“You didn’t do anything. I’m not hurt, just bored”, he said simply. “I have someone coming over soon so please leave before this gets even more awkward. I’ll call you, okay?”“Okay, hyung”, Jungkook said, swallowing the horrible feeling in his gut and putting on his shoes. “Bye then”, he added awkwardly before leaving. Taemin didn’t answer.As Jungkook waited for Jin to come pick him up, he kept replaying the night in his head. From what he could tell there’d been no sign of Taemin not wanting him until the second he moved away. It’d been so sudden and strange he didn’t know what to think about it.Something had gone very wrong and he had no idea what it was. Maybe he’d been too desperate and willing, making a fool of himself in front of his hyung. Or had he really managed to bore him? Maybe he could talk to Jimin about it? He knew Taemin well so maybe he’d know. Then again he would also kill him for trying to hook up with one of his best friends. Jungkook wondered if it’d be worth it.
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Key was confused. Taemin had been acting very strange lately. He wasn’t flirting or giggling or acting the slightest bit cute. Instead he was serious and professional all the time. Even Minho was saying there was something going on. The maknae was never that calm and collected off camera, at least not very often, and certainly not for this long.Onew had apparently tried to talk to him about it, but he’d gotten no good answer. Taemin had an excuse for every situation, and today was no different. In the end he’d even reminded them that being professional and doing his job was a good thing. That pissed Key off! Enough for him to want to have a serious talk with the maknae himself.They were in the dressing room, preparing for a show. Taemin was sitting in his chair, quietly reading the script. Key had never seen him read a script that seriously before and it was driving him crazy.“What’s going on?” he sighed, sitting down next to his dongsaeng. “Why are you acting so weird?”“What do you mean?” Taemin answered, looking up at him like he had no idea what he was talking about.“I mean this”, Key gestured towards Taemin’s whole posture, “you sitting here and reading instead of playing some game on your phone, or making dumb bets with Minho, or just generally messing around. Why are you being so boring?”“Boring?” Taemin said and scoffed. “Hyung, I’m already 26. You expect me to still behave like a kid?”“I expect you to behave the same way you did last week”, Key spat out. “No one grows up overnight.”“Not overnight maybe, but I can’t be playing around forever”, Taemin said and smiled a little. “Hyung, you should be proud. I’m choosing to live more responsibly.”“Oh, come on!” Key finally snapped. “You want me to believe that you woke up one day and suddenly decided to behave like a totally different person? Something must’ve happened!”“Nothing happened”, Taemin insisted.“Taemin, if you’re in some kind of trouble or need something, someone to talk to maybe, you know we’ll help you, right?”“Hyung”, Taemin protested, as if he was being crazy. “Don’t worry. I’m not in trouble. I’m staying out of trouble actually. So I’ll be fine. I’m fine!”Key didn’t have time to pry anymore after that, since the stylists showed up to fix their hair, but needless to say he wasn’t convinced by Taemin’s act. Not in the slightest.---Three days. That’s how long it took before Jungkook got desperate enough to try and talk to Jimin about it. Taemin hadn’t called or even sent him a text since that night and he felt like he was going insane. The events had been playing in his head for too long, and he still couldn’t make sense of any of it.Jungkook was in the kitchen, getting some food ready for a late night snack, when Jimin came into the room with the same idea in mind. As they sat down to eat Jungkook couldn’t help asking:“Does Taemin date a lot?”“What?” Jimin asked, looking confused at the sudden question.“I mean”, Jungkook continued, “his love life. What’s it like?”“You want me to gossip about one of my best friends?” Jimin said raising his eyebrows, and looked at Jungkook in disbelief. “Since when do you even care about that sort of thing?”“I just…” Jungkook didn’t know how to explain this without telling Jimin too much. He finally settled on some kind of compromise. “I think he might be flirting with me.”“Seriously?!” Jimin opened his eyes wide in surprise.“Yeah, I think so”, Jungkook said, smiling sheepishly. “So that’s why I’m curious. Is this something he does a lot? Flirts with people, I mean? What do you think he wants with me?”“Oh crap, I should’ve seen this coming”, Jimin muttered, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I just didn’t think he’d go for one of my members.”“So he does this a lot?” Jungkook filled in.“Yeah, he does”, Jimin admitted. “He likes to flirt, but he always keeps it casual. He doesn’t really date as far as I know. Just sleeps around a bunch.”“I don’t mind that”, Jungkook said. “I can keep it casual.”Jimin looked at him like he’d just admitted to having a tail, and Jungkook felt like he had to move the conversation along before he had to answer some very uncomfortable questions.“Is there anything he wouldn’t like though?” he asked. “Some kind of deal-breaker? Because either way I wouldn’t want to offend him or hurt him in some way.”“Trust me, you’d never be able to hurt him”, Jimin scoffed. “He might seem innocent and fragile, but that’s far from the truth. People often misunderstand him that way. He may be cute but he’s no pushover; in fact he knows exactly what he wants and he’s good at convincing other people they want it too. He’d never do anything he didn’t want to.”“But if he knows what he wants, then shouldn’t there be like a million ways for me to disappoint him?”“Oh no, if he’s already decided he wants you then you’re obviously the kind of guy he likes”, Jimin said shrugging his shoulders. “Otherwise he wouldn’t bother with you in the first place. And he can make you give him what he wants. I’m pretty sure at this point there isn’t anything you could do to scare him off. ” Jimin patted his shoulder reassuringly. “And if you think this is my way of saying ‘feel free to sleep with my best friend’ then screw you. Please try your best to stay clear of him and don’t complicate things for all of us, okay?”Jimin ruffled Jungkook’s hair before leaving the room. Jungkook was left with his confusion, his hurt pride and all the dishes. Fuck.
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Being idols meant that Shinee and BTS often promoted on the same shows, and especially during comeback season. Jungkook soon found that following Jimin’s order and avoiding seeing Taemin was darn near impossible. Not that he’d been considering doing so anyway. Jimin might be his hyung, but he didn’t own Jungkook; and it wasn’t like Jungkook could make his relationship to Taemin much worse anyway. That hyung was already being mysteriously frosty and it was driving Jungkook crazy. The more he was being ignored, the more he needed to know what’d really happened that night.Every day they’d meet Shinee at some new show and every day Taemin would give the group the same soft smile and greeting, giving Jimin an extra hug, before hurrying off to some dressing room to “work”. Jimin seemed pleased with the situation but Jungkook wasn’t having it. He needed answers.Following Taemin into the dressing room one day, he cornered him and finally asked him about it face to face.“Hyung, I don’t want to be rude, but you owe me an explanation”, he said as sternly as he could manage, despite his heart racing through his chest like a freaking war horse.“I don’t owe you anything”, Taemin said calmly and walked over to sit in a chair by a mirror, picking up his phone and completely ignoring Jungkook.“You do!” Jungkook insisted. “I need to know what happened that night!”“Nothing happened”, Taemin said, sounding a little frustrated now. “I told you already, I hadn’t planned for you to go home with me that night. I got bored and I was going to meet someone else soon anyway, so it was best for me to ask you to leave. I’m sorry if you couldn’t handle that. Maybe I should’ve considered how young you are and treated you differently? But that’s not how you seemed when we were eating dinner. I know what it’s like to be treated like a child and I don’t want to do that to you so I’m being honest here. I just wasn’t interested, and I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but at least it’s better than sleeping with you out of pity, right?”“You weren’t interested?” Jungkook huffed. “So you getting naked on top of me in your bed was a sign of you not being interested? I don’t think me not understanding that has anything to do with my age.”“Listen you asshole”, Taemin hissed. “You should be grateful I’m even talking to you about this right now. I treated you to dinner. You had a good time. Just because you didn’t get everything you wanted that doesn’t make me a bad person. Now leave before I tell your members that you’re harassing me!”“Whoa, whoa, Taemin! That’s no way to treat a dongsaeng!” Minho suddenly came to stand between them. How long had he been there? Jungkook wasn’t sure. He had trouble thinking straight, his face was burning hot with anger and he was working hard to not start crying out of frustration. This was so unfair. And now Minho was there trying to protect him because he was younger? A dongsaeng? He didn’t want to be protected. He didn’t need it. He just wanted the truth.“Don’t meddle when you don’t even know what’s going on!” Taemin shouted at Minho. “I don’t need you teaching me how to behave. I’m sick of this! I’m not a baby! He’s not a baby! Just back off!”Taemin stormed off and Minho followed closely behind. Jungkook found himself left alone in Shinee’s dressing room. He stared at the wall for a while and was still in shock when Key came in through the door.“What the hell is going on?” he said, looking frustrated and annoyed. “Why are Taemin and Minho shouting at one another in the middle of a public corridor? And why are you in our dressing room?”“I should go”, Jungkook mumbled and almost left, but Key cut him off.“Oh no you don’t!” he said, stepping in-between Jungkook and the door. “What’s going on? Tell me what you know.”Jungkook didn’t have time to answer before the door opened again and Taemin and Minho came back inside the room, followed by Jimin and Taehyung. Everyone was quiet and seemed tense. Key seemed like he’d reached his limit though.“Okay, please, someone tell me what’s going on”, he whined.“Taemin and Jungkook had a misunderstanding”, Minho said. “And they both said some things they didn’t mean. But we’re helping them clear it up.”“I told him you’re not like that, Jungkook”, Jimin said reassuringly. “You’re not a bad person and you wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable. You’re probably just confused and frustrated.”“I’m sorry for saying those things”, Taemin filled in. “I was angry and misunderstood things. I should’ve been more understanding.”“You’re both very stubborn people”, Jimin said, chuckling a little bit. “You’re actually very similar.”“I thought so too”, Taemin said. “When we were hanging out before, and eating and talking. I hope we can still be friends because it’d be a shame to lose what we had. It’s not often I meet someone I can feel that relaxed with.”“What do you say?” Jimin asked. “Could you forgive him, Jungkook?”“I guess, yeah”, Jungkook said, still feeling very confused. “I shouldn’t have cornered hyung like that either, I was just so frustrated.”“I understand”, Taemin said. “And I should’ve approach you differently too. I shouldn’t have flirted back, and made it clear that I just wanted to stay friends.”“You flirted with him and then left him hanging?” Key asked.“I changed my mind”, Taemin said and he was back to blushing innocently now. “I just realized that I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Plus he’s Jimin’s member. It wouldn’t be a good idea if we hooked up.”“I appreciate that”, Jimin said, “even though it would’ve been better if you figured that out a little faster.”“Sorry”, Taemin said, patting Jimin’s shoulder affectionately.“I’m glad this is working out so well”, Taehyung said having watched the entire situation unfold. He gave Jungkook a comforting back-hug and sighed against his neck. “I’ve seen how stressed you’ve been recently but I didn’t want to pressure you about it. I’m glad you made a friend, Jungkookie, and that you made up.”“Jungkook, are you really okay with this?” Minho asked, looking at Jungkook with concern. Jungkook thought about it. He still didn’t really understand what’d happened but on the other hand Taemin was talking to him again, and apologizing, and everyone else seemed to really want this behind them. He couldn’t argue with that, since he wanted to let it go too. It’d been eating at him for far too long already. What did he have to lose?“I’m okay”, he answered and smiled to reassure the others. Taemin smiled back, and he could feel Taehyung squeeze him even harder.“Well, that’s good because we need to go get ready right now”, Jimin filled in. “I’m pretty sure we’re late already.”“That’s fine, we’ll just blame you for it”, Taehyung teased, pushing Jungkook towards the door before Jimin had a chance to retaliate. Jimin’s “Ya!” and Taemin’s snickering was the last Jungkook heard before the door closed behind them.Taehyung had been joking when he suggested they’d blame Jimin, but since the two of them showed up several minutes before Jimin, who stayed behind to say goodbye to the Shinee-members, he took most of the heat from Namjoon’s passionate speech about keeping times. Not that Jungkook minded, even if Jimin looked a bit annoyed.The performance went well though, and the members left the building happy with their achievements. Jungkook was just about to enter the car when he felt a buzz from inside his pocket. Getting into his seat he pulled out his phone and stared at it. A new message from Taemin had arrived:
Taemin-hyung: I just wanted to say again how sorry I am for the way I treated you. And to offer you dinner as compensation? Let me make it up to you. Tonight after work maybe? Is that okay?
Jungkook considered it and decided to accept. It’d be interesting to see Taemin again just the two of them, and it’d give him a chance to leave all of the bad feelings behind. They set the time and place, and when work finished Jungkook went directly to the restaurant.This time it was a Japanese place with giant portions of sushi and noodles. Taemin had arranged a private room, and they both ate their hearts out while talking about work, life and food. Once again Jungkook was struck by how similar experiences they’d had in life. Both of them had been quite shy when younger, and because of that they’d had very few friends their own age. Luckily they’d both improved and now they seemed happier with their respective situations.Having gone down the same road before, Taemin had lots of good advice to give, and Jungkook listened intently to his hyung describing the business and the many situations to try and avoid. He knew Taemin knew what he was talking about because he’d had very few scandals and he’d even managed to launch a successful solo career.Some of the things Taemin mentioned were quite personal and Jungkook felt touched to be trusted that way. He got to hear how his hyung had managed to date secretly a few times without getting caught. And he also got to hear how he’d been dumped because the guys had felt he put his career first, which Taemin openly admitted was true.“After having given up parts of my childhood and youth for this dream, spending so much time and energy to make this happen, of course it’ll always be what’s most important to me”, he said. “When I realized people couldn’t understand that, I decided it was better not to date at all. I seemed to only disappoint them after all, and I didn’t want to be that person. It was making me dislike myself too. So now I keep it casual and I make that clear to people. Most of the time at least…”He gave Jungkook an embarrassed smile, and Jungkook knew it was his way of once again saying he was sorry.“I’m sure you do your best, hyung”, was all he could answer, but it seemed to make Taemin happy because he got a wide smile back.When Taemin was done sharing it was only fair Jungkook shared some about his life as well. He’d had very similar experiences after all and it soon became clear to the both of them how much that was true.“I dated some people before becoming a trainee”, he admitted. “But after that it got very difficult. I never had time to see them anymore, and even when I tried my best it was never good enough. I lost most of my old friends since I moved away from my hometown, and the new ones were as busy as I was. It got to a place where I felt selfish for abandoning people and lonely for being abandoned in return. I wanted so much to find my way back to that place of having friends and family around me. After a few years I realized it wasn’t possible and that I had to live differently now to be happy. I found friends who could understand my need for time away from them due to work. Once in a while we’d hook up and other times we’d just hang out. It was nice and comforting and clear. I think as long as everyone knows what’s expected of them, relationships like that can work. But normal dating is too difficult…”“Wow, you’ve already had to deal with so much for your age”, Taemin commented. “No wonder you’re so mature in some ways.”“You too, hyung”, Jungkook said smiling. “We’ve both been through a lot.”“I guess we’re equally fucked up then”, Taemin said happily, showing a big smile and Jungkook laughed.“I guess we are”, he agreed. They both giggled. It felt nice to be back to a place where they could enjoy each other’s company. The rest of the evening was spent laughing at childhood memories, and going home afterwards, Jungkook felt like he hadn’t laughed that much in years.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Many similar dinners followed, as well as texts and even some late night calls. Jungkook was so grateful to have someone to ask for advice. Since they’d been through similar situations Taemin always knew what to say to get Jungkook back on track. Even if it was just to spew crap about how sick and tired he was about work or one of his members, Taemin always listened and took him seriously. He never had to worry about being called bratty or whiny. In return, Taemin would get to whine as well, and they’d laugh at their similarities and the people Jungkook would imitate flawlessly to cheer Taemin up.They had a lot of fun together. Jungkook soon realized that Taemin was actually a sweet and caring guy. He had many soft sides that he didn’t show to others very often. Even if he could be complicated to understand at first glance, after a while he’d open up more and more and show the emotional and warmhearted sides he kept hidden. He was very caring about his dongsaeng and for the first time Jungkook really understood why Taemin and Jimin went so well together. Just like Jimin Taemin cared a little too much about the people closest to him, and now Jungkook counted as one of them.At one dinner a few months later it finally became clear how far Taemin would go for one of his close friends. Jungkook had somehow managed to let slip the location of their dinner in front of a journalist he didn’t know was listening. Being cornered in the restaurant by press and fans, there was only one way out and Taemin didn’t think twice before he pushed Jungkook into the kitchen, finding his own way through the crowds to give Jungkook a clear exit.A few fans got hurt in the crowd, and there were even rumors that Taemin had been there with Jungkook as an excuse to meet some girl he supposedly wanted to date. A waiter at the restaurant had apparently gone to the same high school as Jungkook, and the press was all over the story. Needless to say it got Taemin into a lot of trouble, but he never complained and even apologized publicly to the fans who’d gotten hurt. Of course he dismissed any dating rumors, but still it was enough to make Jungkook feel awful about the whole thing. It was his fault they’d been found after all.Even when Taemin assured him those sorts of things easily happened Jungkook still felt he had to make it up to him. He’d gotten out of it completely scot-free thanks to his hyung, so he needed to thank him somehow, right? So he decided to give him a surprise.He asked Jimin for help, and got the door key code to Taemin’s apartment. After spending most of the day shopping, he went to the place, decorated it with balloons and started cooking dinner. Wouldn’t it be nice for his hyung to come home to some homemade food after work? Especially when he knew Taemin loved food as much as he did. He pictured the both of them feasting on the treats he was preparing, joking and laughing together. Taemin’s smile flashed in front of his eyes and the image made him all warm inside.Setting the table and doing his best to cook, following the instructions Jin had helped him prepare, he was pleased with the results. It wasn’t as perfect as if Jin had cooked it himself obviously, but it was still pretty decent. When he’d finished everything, and was starting to get bored, the door suddenly opened and he got ready to greet his hyung. But what he saw made his stomach turn.Taemin entered plastered onto a man that seemed to be kissing him like he was on cloud nine. Jungkook didn’t know what to do, and froze completely until the two broke apart for a second and Taemin seemed to notice the balloons and the smell of food. Looking around he found Jungkook standing in a corner like a deer in headlights, and frowned.“Jungkook?” he asked in confusion.“Sorry hyung, I shouldn’t have come without asking first”, Jungkook stuttered. “Eh, enjoy the food when you have time later. See you!”Before Taemin had time to react he was out of the door and running down the many stairs. Stopping halfway down, he gasped and panted, hitting himself in the head. How could he have been so stupid? Obviously there was a risk Taemin wasn’t alone when he came home. And what did it matter anyway? It wasn’t like it was any of his business if Taemin slept around. He’d never said he didn’t.They hadn’t talked about it in a long time to be fair, but he’d been honest about having casual hook-ups when they started hanging out. Of course that hadn’t changed. So why did it feel so awful? Why did it always end in disaster whenever Jungkook entered that apartment? He wished he wasn’t such an idiot and thought things through properly instead of being so damned impulsive.What was he going to do now? He’d have to apologize to Taemin obviously, for disturbing and intruding. But then what? Why was that guy allowed to go home with Taemin when he wasn’t? Was he being jealous right now? He realized he was and that made things even worse.He’d come to rely so much on this wonderful hyung that he’d forgotten how he’d been rejected by him before. It wasn’t just admiration he felt for his hyung anymore, nor was it just lust. It was love. But their relationship wasn’t like that. It couldn’t be like that. And he hated it now.He couldn’t let Taemin know how he felt. He needed to act like what happened was no big deal, a little embarrassing maybe, but not more than that. But that meant he had to lie. Why couldn’t he just have one friend that he could be honest with? Why did he have to ruin it like this?Finally finding his head again, he made his way down the rest of the stairs and home. It’d been the worst end to a day he’d had in a long time and he just wanted to sleep the rest of the evening away.The next day he texted his hyung:
Jungkook: Sorry hyung, I didn’t know you’d have company. Hopefully I didn’t ruin your evening or your kitchen. I was just trying to cook you dinner but I should’ve asked first.
Taemin-hyung: That’s really sweet <3 I’m grateful and I ate most of it already. You’re a really good cook
:)
And don’t worry. You didn’t ruin anything.
Jungkook felt like that didn’t cheer him up one bit. Honestly a part of him had hoped he’d ruined the mood enough for Taemin to tell the guy to leave, the way he’d done with Jungkook. Once again the confusion came back, and he started wondering what he’d done wrong. Why wasn’t he allowed to have that kind of relationship with his hyung? Had he been too desperate before and scared Taemin off?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Key was frustrated again. He didn’t know what went through that maknae’s mind but something was definitely up. The last few months had been crazy with Taemin hooking up with anything that moved and seemed remotely safe. From celibacy and seriousness to being the business slut, and now he was apparently back to being celibate and serious? This made absolutely no sense.The only hint Key had was that Jungkook somehow seemed to be involved, or at least seemed to upset the maknae. Whenever someone mentioned him, he’d change the topic and it was difficult to get a grasp on what kind of relationship the two had. Key just hoped that Taemin wasn’t acting as the guy’s pimp or something. That’d definitely end up with both groups being in trouble. He decided he needed to ask someone about it. Maybe Minho could get some information out of Taehyung?---After having worried about the next dinner, Jungkook surprised himself with how easy it actually was to get through it. Whenever he felt like kissing Taemin or asking something dumb, he just stuffed another piece of food in his mouth. That shut him up and he had a little time to calm down. As long as he didn’t run out of stuff to eat he figured he’d be fine, and considering how much Taemin had ordered for them, he was pretty sure that’d never happen.Taemin on the other hand seemed a little tense at first. Once he saw that Jungkook seemed fine however, he went back to being all smiles and their conversation flowed as well as always. It actually felt like a bit of a relief for Jungkook too. It’d be easier to hide his feelings now that Taemin was being less suspicious. Maybe he’d even be able to get over this and keep his friendship intact.Coming home from the dinner he was met by two of his members waiting for him in his bedroom. That was strange. Jimin and Taehyung both looked very serious too and he was sure he’d done something wrong, though he didn’t know what. Had he accidently stolen someone’s food? This seemed even more serious though.“Hello?” he said hesitantly, “can I help you guys with something?”“We need to talk to you about something”, Jimin said, looking over at Taehyung for reassurance. “About Taemin-hyung to be exact.”“Taemin-hyung?” Jungkook asked surprised. “What about him? Is he in trouble?”He felt the worry build up, but before he could freak out properly Taehyung interrupted his thoughts.“How does he treat you, Jungkook?” he said seriously. “Does he treat you okay?”“You’re worrying about me?” Jungkook finally realized. He chuckled a little in relief. “You don’t need to worry, hyung”, he said. “He’s always nice to me. He’s a good friend.”“So he doesn’t pressure you into anything?” Jimin asked.“Pressure me into what exactly?” Jungkook said, feeling more and more confused.“…Sex”, Jimin finally admitted. “With him, or with someone else maybe?”“Seriously?!” Jungkook laughed, feeling his laugh slowly turn bitter. “NO! Of course not! What kind of a horrible person do you think he is?” Then he felt himself getting angry. “Isn’t he supposed to be your friend?” he added, turning to Jimin.Honestly this whole conversation was making him feel worse. It was too ironic really. Taemin saw him as nothing more than a good friend and Jungkook would’ve done anything to be more. He wanted so badly to be with his hyung that way, but Taemin wouldn’t even give him a chance. It was already making him feel bad and being reminded of it this way didn’t exactly help his mood.“He’s been nothing but a gentleman towards me and he’d never hurt me”, Jungkook said sternly. “I have no idea where these questions are coming from but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know, so please just leave before I get seriously angry.”They seemed to take his threat seriously because they quickly left, and he heard Jimin murmur to Taehyung: “told you so”. Collapsing on his bed he kicked all his pillows off in pure annoyance and then he proceeded to kick off the blankets too. Hiding his face in his arms he whined loudly. How had he ended up in this absurd situation? All he’d wanted was a friend who understood where he was coming from. Now he had exactly that and he hated it.Sighing deeply he vowed never to delve into Taemin’s love life again, even if it’d been an accident. It was enough that he’d been so close to it once before. He pictured his hyung in front of him that night. It was all too easy to imagine that slim waist in his hands, and the happy eyes and the knowing smile that seemed to haunt him wherever he went now. It was so not fair.Needing another image of Taemin to replace it with he grabbed his phone and googled his name. It gave him a long list of videos with Taemin dancing and he clicked one at random. Staring at the man on the screen, he whined loudly again and started punching his bed. This wasn’t fair!The way Taemin moved his body on stage truly was otherworldly. Jungkook had long since been avoiding watching his performances and he only now realized why. If he was going to survive this friendship he needed to stay clear of anything related to Taemin and dancing; and the dates he brought home. The two deadly D:s!---“So you’re really not sleeping with him?” Key asked.“No!” Taemin said angrily. “Why are you even asking that? How is it any of your business?”“You’ve just been acting so weird lately”, Key insisted. “And I don’t want you to hurt the kid, so I had to ask.”“He’s not a kid, and I’d never hurt him”, Taemin fumed. “Now I need to go practice.”Storming off, Key could see Taemin enter the practice room in rage, slamming the door behind him. Key hoped he wouldn’t overwork himself because of this anger. The last thing they needed was their main dancer getting hurt.He sighed. Even though the conversation had cleared some things up it’d also made things more confusing. Jungkook was definitely a sensitive subject and Key couldn’t for the life of him understand why. If Taemin had feelings for the kid, why wasn’t he sleeping with him? Then again, if he didn’t have feelings for him, why was he this upset? It made absolutely no sense. In the end, maybe it was better to stay away from it altogether and hope that Taemin pulled his shit together on his own. If he didn’t Key would have to intervene before he did damage to the group.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“They want us to do what?” Jungkook asked his manager.“A collab performance”, the manager repeated. “The fans are curious about your friendship, and others are saying it’s just a front. Either way a performance is good publicity for both of you. SM has suggested the theme “Maknae on top” and your superiors have agreed. Isn’t that great? You’re going to get paid to hang out with your friend. You’ll have to work of course, but still.”“Do I have to do it?” Jungkook asked, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. To him dancing with Taemin sounded like the worst idea ever.“Aaw, are you nervous?” the manager cooed. “Don’t worry, Jungkook, you’re a great dancer, and singer too. And to get to work with such a talented sunbaenim… You should see this as a learning opportunity. Taemin is one of the best in the business. Imagine the things he could teach you.”Yes I am, that’s the problem, Jungkook silently thought to himself. He realized it’d be bad to argue any further though, so he accepted the deal and went to hide in his room. There he spent about fifteen minutes thinking about how long time it’d take to choke himself on the feathers from his pillows.When he’d finally gotten over the worst emo-phase of the whole thing, he decided that if he had no choice he might as well try to enjoy it. As his manager said, it was a great learning opportunity. If he focused on that and on the work, maybe it’d be more bearable.---It wasn’t. Meeting Taemin and the choreographer in a practice room at SM, he soon learnt how impossible it really was to ignore Taemin while he was dancing. The way he swayed and turned and seemed to control his body with such ease made Jungkook’s mouth drool, and he had to look away several times not to get caught.It wasn’t helping him learn the steps either. Even when he tried his best, he struggled to stay focused and his eyes seemed to gravitate towards his friend. Time and time again, he lost track of what he was doing. By the end of the practice, he felt awful. Taemin had already memorized the steps and was working on perfecting them, sometimes making suggestions for improvement. He was nowhere near that, still getting lost and forgetting things.“I’ll help you”, Taemin suggested. “I can stay behind and practice with you.”“That’s okay”, Jungkook argued. Being alone with his hyung while dancing seemed like a bad idea. “I can manage on my own. I’m used to learning steps from videos after all.”“I don’t mind”, Taemin insisted, but Jungkook was equally stubborn.“Hyung, you’ve been working so hard lately”, he said. “Go home and rest. I learn better on my own anyway. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”When Taemin had accepted that he wouldn’t be allowed to argue, he left and Jungkook could finally get to work. Suddenly learning the steps wasn’t that hard at all. He was one of the best dancers of his group after all. Sure this choreography was made to be challenging, but it wasn’t out of his range. An hour was all it took before he had the whole thing memorized. Satisfied with himself he went home to take a shower and finally get some rest.---The next day went much the same way. Taemin had some brilliant ideas for improvement, and Jungkook tried to keep up, but it was too difficult to focus. The steps he’d known so well the past evening were suddenly gone and he was struggling so hard to not make a fool of himself.This was the last practice they had together before Taemin was going away to Japan for concerts for almost a whole week. They needed to get in sync before that so that they could finish it quickly once he came back. There wasn’t much time left. The show was only two weeks away and the time they had together before that was limited. Jungkook was out of his depth.“I can stay behind and help you”, the choreographer offered. He was a nice guy from what Jungkook had seen of him some far, around forty and really talented. Maybe getting his help would actually be useful.“Thank you, that’d be nice”, he confessed. In the corner of his eye he could see Taemin frown.“I don’t think that’s a good idea”, he finally said, gripping Jungkook’s elbow and pulling him away into a corner.“Hyung?” Jungkook asked surprised.“You shouldn’t stay behind with staff on your own”, Taemin said quietly. “I’ll stay with you instead and help you out.”“Hyung, it’s fine”, Jungkook protested. “I know you need to go home and pack for your trip. We’ll be fine without you.”“Don’t be silly”, Taemin said. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it together.”His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he picked it up and answered. Jungkook could hear the raised voice of Onew telling him that the plans had changed and they were leaving earlier than before. Seeing Taemin’s face made it clear he wouldn’t be able to stay behind after all, and Jungkook sighed in relief.“We still have some time after I get back”, Taemin concluded after he’d finished his phone call. “Let’s finish it then instead.”“Hyung, you know it’ll be too stressful”, Jungkook protested. “I want to do a good job. Just let me fix this now when there’s still time.”“No!” Taemin said, and Jungkook recoiled at the sudden sternness in his voice. “We’ll do it together when I get back. I promise I’ll make it work.”“But why?” Jungkook asked. “When he could just help me right now and save us so much work later?”“If we’re not doing it together then what’s the point?!” Taemin said pointedly, and Jungkook could tell he was running out of patience. “I would’ve helped you yesterday, but you insisted that you learnt better on your own, so I didn’t push it. But if you’re practicing with anyone it’s going to be me! Come on. Let me drive you home!”Grabbing Jungkook’s wrist he pulled him out the door, barely stopping to say goodbye to the surprised choreographer who stared at them with wide eyes. Jungkook was even more confused, and also a bit annoyed. How was he ever going to learn the dance if he only practiced with Taemin around?Getting into Taemin’s car, he glanced over at his hyung. The eyes that usually smiled at him through tiny crescents now looked dark and grim. Anger and hurt was shining through, and Jungkook wondered what he’d done to upset his hyung so much. Was it that he’d wanted to practice without him? Did he feel left out? Even jealous? Jungkook had a hard time seeing that, since the choreographer was so much older and even married.The thought cheered him up a little though. Taemin must’ve at least wanted to spend more time with him, since he’d been so insistent on them doing it together. He could tell he’d become important to him. It made him feel proud, even when a big part of him still wished for more.“Hrrm”, Taemin cleared his throat. “Jungkook”, he said grimly, though Jungkook could tell he was trying to calm himself down.“Yes, hyung?” Jungkook said, adding the hyung to appease him.“Promise me you won’t pull anything like that again”, Taemin said sternly.“Yes, hyung”, Jungkook answered, though he was a little unsure of what he was promising.Taemin sighed and ran his hand through his hair, before he turned to give Jungkook a quick smile from behind the wheel.“You’re too important to hyung for that”, he said teasingly, stressing the word hyung.He’d never addressed himself that way to Jungkook before, so it came as a bit of a surprise. Still Jungkook hurried to respond, hiding his wide-eyed stare behind a smile. Now that Taemin seemed to be calming down he wanted to keep him happy.“You’re important to me too, hyung”, he said, also stressing the address. Taemin giggled.“That’s good”, he said happily. “It’d be sad if I was the only one wanting us to hang out.” He laughed some more and Jungkook laughed a little too. It was nice that they were back to being comfortable around each other again.“So you’ll behave when I’m gone?” Taemin teased when he dropped him off outside of his dorm. “Be a good boy and all that?”“I’ll behave”, Jungkook said, smiling back at the crescent eyes he’d already begun to miss. “I’ll see you in a week, hyung.”“See you!” Taemin smiled and waved happily before driving off, leaving Jungkook to gaze after him.“I’ll behave, hyung”, he repeated quietly to himself before making his way inside. If he couldn’t practice in the practice room, he’d do it in the dorm. He needed to get this right before the night was over, or he knew they’d both be toast next week.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Time moved fast, and it was now only two days left until Taemin was coming back. It helped to keep busy, Jungkook realized. Luckily, being in BTS meant there was never a lack of things to do. He kept himself occupied and made sure to practice the choreography as well. He could do it pretty well by now, even though they’d have to work on syncing up later. It’d be much easier now that he knew the steps though.Every night he’d watch the video of Taemin dancing them, hoping it’d eventually make him immune to his charms. So far it wasn’t working very well. Instead his dreams were filled with the two of them panting together, sometimes dancing and sometimes doing other things entirely. Waking up with a boner was becoming a habit too, and he dealt with it quickly and efficiently, the dreams still being vivid in his mind.That night he was once again watching the video after going to bed late. They’d been shooting a variety show all evening and it was way later than he wanted to admit to himself. Hopefully the managers would let them sleep in a bit in the morning.As he watched the video for the third time that evening, the phone suddenly buzzed in his hand, and he stared at the screen where Taemin’s picture and name had showed up. Why was he calling this late? Was he okay?“Hello?” Jungkook said, answering it hurriedly.“Jungkookie~” Taemin could be heard murmuring. Or maybe murmuring wasn’t the right word for what he was doing. Purring was more like it, Jungkook thought to himself as he gulped suddenly.“Hyung?” he said, feeling both worried and confused now. “Are you okay?”“Why wouldn’t I be?” Taemin teased. “I’m talking to you, aren’t I? Jungkookie, do you like me? Like really like me?”Jungkook didn’t know what to answer. His voice was stuck in his throat and he was having trouble breathing. What was going on? The man sounded so seductive, Jungkook felt he might be going slightly crazy.“Because you know I could be really good to you if you let me”, Taemin purred on. “I’d treat you so well, Jungkookie~”.Was this really happening? Jungkook was definitely choking now, his face growing redder with every second.“Hyung”, he managed to gasp.“Too bad you’re so young”, Taemin whined suddenly. “Otherwise I’d show you a really good time. But you know I’d be really bad for you, don’t you? I’m a bad person like that. I just take what I want.”“You want me?” Jungkook whispered back, still trying to find his voice.Taemin laughed. He actually laughed! And Jungkook could feel his heart sink all the way down to his knees. Was he just being messed with? Had Taemin noticed how badly he wanted him and decided to tease him for it?“Jungkookie, you’re really cute!” he said happily after he finished laughing. “I like that about you. Yeah, I think I like you. That’s pretty bad, isn’t it?”He started giggling and Jungkook’s head was spinning with all the mixed signals.“Hyung, stop messing with me”, he finally mustered. “Just tell me what you want.”“What I want…” Taemin seemed to really need to consider this before he could answer. That didn’t bode well, Jungkook thought. This strange behavior all pointed to one thing.“Hyung, are you drunk?” Jungkook said a bit sternly. Taemin usually didn’t drink, but he also usually didn’t act this way so it seemed like a fairly clear-cut case.“Wow, how did you know?” Taemin gasped, and Jungkook sighed deeply. This explained a thing or two. Apparently drunken Taemin meant flirty Taemin.“Hyung, go to sleep”, he said seriously. “We can talk more about it when you get home, okay?”“No, wait!” Taemin said as if he expected Jungkook to hang up on him that very second. Jungkook waited.“Don’t let me do it, Jungkook!” Taemin suddenly said earnestly.“Let you do what?” Jungkook said, trying to sound patient and calm. He suddenly felt like he was talking to a child.“Don’t let me seduce you!” Taemin said almost in desperation. “Don’t make me become like him! I can’t be like him!”Suddenly a voice was heard in the background, and Taemin hurried to say goodbye and hang up. Jungkook was left standing staring at his phone, which now once again started playing the video of Taemin dancing. What the fuck? What had that been about? Who has “him” and what in the name of all things good was even going on here?Feeling his thoughts swirling around in his mind, he tried to make sense of it, and when he couldn’t he put his phone away and tried to sleep. It was easier said than done, and when morning came he sported a nice pair of panda eyes, yawning deeply as J-Hope came to wake him up.“Wow!” J-Hope laughed seeing him like that. “You’ve had a good night’s sleep, I see? Just try not to fall asleep during today’s practice, okay?”Jungkook nodded grimly in response. It was going to be a long day…---Stupid maknae, always causing trouble, Key thought to himself. He’d had the brilliant idea of getting all the members to drink together, hoping that a bit of alcohol would make Taemin loosen up and tell them what was bothering him. Instead he’d ended up grinding on one of the dancers right in front of them, and now Key was pretty sure they’d have to replace the dancer before the next tour.Messes like that were fine though, if it wasn’t for the fact that the maknae was still acting weird! Today he’d been tiptoeing around them all, constantly checking his phone, but refusing to tell them why. Key had a feeling he also couldn’t remember much of last night. The dancer kept shooting him longing eyes, and he didn’t even seem to notice. All in all it was pissing Key off.“Taemin!” he finally said. “We need to talk!”“Not now hyung”, Taemin answered, still glancing at his phone as if it was going to tell him the biggest news any moment now.“Yes, now!” Key insisted, grabbing the maknae by the arm and pulling him away. Taemin protested weakly, but he knew there wasn’t much he could do, so in the end Key managed to push him into an empty room and lock the door behind them.“You’re going to tell me what’s going on, or so help me…!” he said menacingly.Taemin sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Then he suddenly started crying; just like that. Taemin almost never cried, even when he was younger. Now he was crying so hard he was shaking, and Key was so surprised that for a moment he just stood there staring at him. Then he finally came to his senses and reached out his arms to hold the boy. Shaking in his arms, Taemin drew for a breath and then kept crying. Stroking his back, Key couldn’t help but somehow feel relieved. Now at least he knew he was getting somewhere.“It’s okay”, he said soothingly. “Just let it all out, and then you can tell hyung all about it. I’ll help you no matter what, so don’t worry. We’ll sort it out.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
To say that Jungkook had been tempted to contact Taemin was putting it lightly. He found himself constantly with his phone in his hand, starting to type out a message, but he always managed to stop himself before sending anything. His head caught up with him, thankfully, and he told himself to stick to the plan. It’d be better to talk to Taemin in person once he came back to Korea. That way they could take the time to clear things up properly if they had to, and he wouldn’t seem pushy.Part of the reason was also his pride. A part of him felt it should be Taemin contacting him and not the other way around. If he was really his caring hyung, shouldn’t he call or even text to check up on him? Shouldn’t he at the very least apologize for drunk-dialing him? But nothing came: No phone calls, no texts, no nothing. It was pissing Jungkook off, and worrying him too.Maybe Taemin was just embarrassed. Or maybe he was pulling away on purpose just like before. Jungkook remembered all too well how Taemin had disappeared out of his arms so suddenly, no explanation given. What if he did it again, leaving Jungkook behind as abruptly as last time?It wasn’t strange that Jungkook felt nervous going to practice two days later. He’d gotten a simple message with the time and place from the choreographer. That in itself was enough to hurt his feelings. Now Taemin couldn’t even text him about that kind of stuff?Showing up at the SM practice room he felt a lump of worry, hurt and anger build up in his stomach. He had no idea how Taemin would react to seeing him. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and entered the room. Taemin was already there, dancing in front of the mirror with the choreographer watching.It was a sight that sent Jungkook’s head flying and for a second he forgot about all his worries and just stared. No video could ever compare to watching Taemin dancing in person, moving his body with perfect ease across the floor. Jungkook’s heart was all the way up his throat before the choreographer brought him back to earth with a greeting.“Jungkook!” he said smiling wide. “Good! Now we can begin properly. Have you been practicing the steps?”“Yes”, Jungkook admitted, sneaking a glance at Taemin to see his reaction. He was half expecting his hyung to get angry at him for practicing alone, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Instead he kept dancing, staring at himself in the mirror. The choreographer was happy though.“Great! Let’s see what you got”, he said and paused the music, asking them to take their positions. They both followed his words and soon they were dancing their hearts out next to one another.Jungkook wasn’t as fluid and smooth as Taemin was, but at least he was doing the right steps now. He was working hard to focus on the music and his own movements instead of his hyung’s otherworldly presence right next to him. It miraculously seemed to work for now, maybe because Taemin was ignoring him so entirely.“Good, let’s do this part again”, the choreographer showed a part, and soon they were working hard trying to sync up their steps in the various parts of the dance. This time Taemin didn’t add any of his own suggestions. Instead he silently followed orders and did the different parts perfectly, at least in Jungkook’s eyes. The choreographer didn’t seem to agree though.“Taemin, what are you doing?” he scolded and then laughed. “Are you awake yet? I’ve never seen you this sloppy before.”This is him when he’s sloppy? Jungkook silently thought to himself.“Sorry, hyung”, Taemin apologized and bowed deep before going back to dancing again, this time with more determination in his eyes.Jungkook realized now that he didn’t have quite the same death stare that he usually had when he practiced. He wondered why. He didn’t think Taemin could ever lose focus in dance practice. Wasn’t he famous for his insane working morale and dedication?Soon the determination once again disappeared from Taemin’s eyes, and now that he was paying attention Jungkook noticed how his hyung would sneak small glances his way in the mirror. They didn’t seem like angry or hurt glances. Instead Taemin looked shy and hesitant. It made Jungkook start to worry again. Was his hyung really okay?“Taemin~?” the choreographer singsonged and Taemin instantly snapped his head up, his cheeks coloring in embarrassment. “Where is your head today?” the choreographer scolded.“I’m so sorry”, Taemin once again apologized. “I… I think I need a minute.”“A minute?” the choreographer looked at him like he’d said the most absurd thing ever. Jungkook figured Taemin had probably never asked for anything like that before in his life.“Pee break!” Taemin exclaimed nervously, quickly leaving the room before he came back through the door again to drag Jungkook with him outside.“Pee break!” he said again once they were outside the door and nodded firmly to Jungkook, before he left him standing there as he rushed off to the bathroom. Jungkook stared after him in confusion. What the fuck?! What was this hyung doing?He figured he might as well use the break he’d been given though, since he might not get one again later. Locking himself in one of the bathrooms he breathed deeply and tried to sort his thoughts. Something was definitely driving his hyung crazy, because he was acting all kinds of weird. Was it him? Was he the reason Taemin was this nervous? And in that case why?!Going back to the practice room a few minutes later, his head was still spinning with confusing thoughts. After practice, he told himself. I’ll ask him and get some answers once we’ve finished this. Getting back into position in front of the mirror, he danced and waited for Taemin to come back.The choreographer helped with some steps and complimented him on his work. It was easier now that he didn’t have anyone distracting him. When fifteen minutes had passed however, he started to get properly worried. He could tell the choreographer was also glancing towards the door, probably wondering what was going on.“I’ll go look for him, sir”, Jungkook offered while smiling. “Maybe he got lost on the way back here,” he tried to joke but inside he started to panic slightly. This was so unlike his hyung.Naturally the choreographer agreed, so he walked away along the corridor towards the bathroom Taemin had disappeared into before. The door was still locked.“Hyung?” he tried softly through the door. “Hyung, are you okay?”He could hear shuffling inside before there was any answer. A shaky voice was soon heard muffled by the door.“Jungkook?” it said.“Yeah it’s me”, Jungkook said.The door unlocked suddenly but nothing more happened so Jungkook reached out and opened the door, stepping inside hesitantly. Seeing Taemin’s face he hurried to lock the door behind him and took a step forward to wrap him in his arms. He could feel his hyung sobbing against his chest, wetting his shirt.“Hyung”, he said worriedly. “What’s going on? Why are you crying?”He didn’t get any answer so he just kept holding him, rubbing his back soothingly while he waited for his hyung to calm down.“It’s okay”, he spoke softly from time to time. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry, hyung. It’s okay.”“Let’s go back”, Taemin suddenly said, loosening himself from Jungkook’s arms and drying his cheeks. “We can talk after we’ve finished practice.”“Hyung…” Jungkook said, watching in disbelief as Taemin straightened his back and fixed his face to once again look serious and focused.“If I talk about it now I’ll never be able to finish this dance”, Taemin said, giving Jungkook a small chuckle. “Please just help me get through this, okay?” he gave Jungkook’s arm a small squeeze and Jungkook instantly pulled himself straight as well.“Okay, hyung, come on”, he agreed, feeling himself mature with the mission in mind. Taemin was relying on him now and he had to get this right. His heart swelled suddenly at the thought that Taemin finally trusted him enough to show this side. It felt like a miracle. He couldn’t screw this up.Finally back in the practice room, Taemin gave the choreographer a sheepish smile and explained how he’d managed to break the lock of the door and get himself stuck. Jungkook corroborated his story and laughed along with the other two at Taemin’s clumsiness, though he secretly felt amazed about how good of an actor this hyung was.No wonder everyone said he could manipulate people into giving him whatever he wanted. For the first time Jungkook was seeing him in action and it was crazy how innocent that man could act when he needed to. His entire being was screaming of clumsy boyish charm. Jungkook was seriously impressed. He wished he could do the same, but he knew he wasn’t even close.Keeping an eye on Taemin during the rest of the practice, he made sure to draw attention to himself whenever his hyung seemed to be struggling. Getting the choreographer to teach him every step carefully, they finally managed to sync up their dancing so they could go home. Now only a stage rehearsal was left, but the choreographer seemed to think they were ready, and who was Jungkook to question him.Leaving the room, they said goodbye to the choreographer and walked silently to Taemin’s car in the basement. Without a word Taemin handed Jungkook the car key. Jungkook got into the driver’s seat, driving them to Taemin’s apartment, as Taemin stared silently out of the window seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Getting inside the apartment Taemin breathed deeply as in relief that he’d gotten that far. He went to sit on the couch in the living room, throwing his shoes off on the way there. Jungkook quietly followed behind him, sitting down on the other end of the couch and looking over at his hyung. Taemin suddenly started to laugh dryly.“I’m an absolute idiot”, he confessed as he kept laughing. “I know that, and still all I’ve done is tried to be good. I hurt you but I hurt myself more. Did you know that?”He looked over to Jungkook and suddenly his eyes turned shy again. It was like his entire body had shrunk and he looked small and vulnerable again, just like in the bathroom before.“I’m sorry for calling you and saying all those things”, he said quietly. “It must’ve been very confusing for you. I really shouldn’t drink like that. It was all Kibum-hyung’s fault really. At least he talked some sense into me afterwards, about being honest with people and so on.”He started laughing quietly to himself again, before he looked at Jungkook shyly.“I’m not very good at that kind of stuff”, he admitted while smiling embarrassedly. “Being honest doesn’t come naturally to me anymore. Not about things close to the heart. But I’ll really try because I think you deserve it. You deserve a real chance to understand and to be my friend.”Jungkook was watching in fascination as his hyung seemed to go in and out of hiding, like he was fighting himself to stay true to how he felt while he built up the courage to speak. It seemed like a real struggle, and he wished he could help somehow. In the end he went with his gut. Moving closer he reached out to loosely hug Taemin’s shoulders, trying to comfort him.“Hyung, it’s okay”, he said softly. “Take your time. I’ll wait patiently and listen to what you have to say. Just take it one thing at a time.”“Thank you”, Taemin whispered, and when Jungkook moved away a little he could see Taemin staring at him with fascination, his eyes glistening with tears and his mouth smiling sadly. Jungkook met his gaze even if it was difficult. He tried to seem dependable and strong, hoping it’d help his hyung open up.“You and I really are so similar”, Taemin said then, finally breaking their eye contact to gaze into the distance. “I used to be kind too, wanting to take care of people and to be a good boy. Then I found out how bad that could be, and I changed. I’m scared now that you’ll have to change, because of me.”“Actually I’m not that good”, Jungkook confessed. “I lie to my hyungs all the time. I’ve lied to you too, even though I’ve tried not to. And if you lived with me you’d notice that I can be a total pain in the ass sometimes. My members go crazy having to deal with me. I get into so much trouble.”Taemin laughed at that and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh too. It was all true though. He doubted any of his members would describe him as a typical good boy. He actually hoped they wouldn’t. It’d feel like they didn’t even know him at all. He could be properly selfish and greedy at times too.“I’m glad you’re not a total pure-hearted angel then”, Taemin joked. “Though I don’t think I was either to be fair. I got into trouble too. But I tried, really tried so hard to be that perfect hardworking and dedicated person I wanted to be. I’ve realized now that I also have to draw the line somewhere and limit myself to stay sane and not get hurt. There are so many things I wish I knew back then that I didn’t. And somehow I also wish I could share these things with you so you don’t have to get hurt the way I did. Actually I’ve never told anyone this story before…”He stopped there and suddenly he looked so serious that Jungkook didn’t dare interrupt him anymore. Instead he waited silently and watched tears rise in Taemin’s eyes again. The air felt thick now and Jungkook could hear how loud his own breathing was. He tried to focus on something else and was relieved when he finally heard Taemin’s voice again.“There was a dance teacher”, Taemin spoke silently, almost like a whisper. “He was very famous and extremely talented. He visited our company and I was selected to be one of the people to get trained by him. It was such a great honor. I wanted to impress him and do well. I worked so hard and practiced until my feet bled and my body ached all over, and I still kept dancing. The praise I got was amazing, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. This great man was admiring me dancing and telling me I had a bright future and that he couldn’t wait to see what I’d be able to accomplish. I was so proud and happy.”Taemin took a deep breath and even grabbed Jungkook’s hand, squeezing it hard once before he continued. His voice seemed strained now, like he was having slight problems breathing.“One evening he asked me to stay behind to practice some more”, he continued. “I felt really honored to be chosen. But then he told me he’d teach me something different, a special dance that he thought I’d be really good at. It all felt very strange suddenly and I felt very uncomfortable when he started touching me and guiding me into different poses. He wasn’t even touching me in any weird places. I told myself I was being paranoid and to not be rude. But it got worse.”Taemin sighed before he continued:“After a while, he’d forced me down on my back and there was nothing I could do about it. I froze and… I just let him have what he wanted. I was too scared to do anything. He kept complimenting me, how I looked and how my body moved, and a part of me actually felt flattered by it. Isn’t that sick? Afterwards I didn’t dare to tell anyone because he was such an impressive person and I was afraid of what would happen if someone found out. I hadn’t done anything to stop him, so I told myself it was my own fault. How would he know I didn’t want to when I didn’t tell him? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Luckily he left soon after and I didn’t have to see him again.”Jungkook was frozen in his seat now, not really knowing what to say or do. This was so much worse than anything he’d ever imagined Taemin would tell him. He felt his heart break for his hyung who’d been treated that way and hurt so badly at such a young age. If only he could somehow go back there to help or protect him. He didn’t know how to even begin to make it better.Tears burnt his eyes and he wished more than anything to just get to love Taemin freely, shower him with all the feelings he’d been hiding, and make him feel how truly special and important he was to him. He wished he could make him feel precious and whole and perfect, just the way he saw him. If only he could at least hold him. That wouldn’t be too much, would it?Reaching out his arms once again, he invited Taemin into his embrace, and seeing him like that actually made Taemin smile through his tears and come closer. Leaning his face against Jungkook’s shoulder, Taemin sighed deeply, seemingly breathing in Jungkook’s smell to calm down. Jungkook’s heart felt like exploding then, but he tried to ignore it and just held his hyung there, close to his body, letting him know he was safe.They sat like that for quite some time before Taemin finally moved away from him once more. He suddenly looked nervous again, like there was more to the story he’d have to confess. It made Jungkook’s stomach twist nervously. How could there still be more to this story?“As you know I’ve since put all of this behind me”, Taemin continued softly. “I work and I have my members and friends. Sometimes I find someone to take home and have fun with. I mean, I have sex, sometimes really good sex too. And sometimes I don’t even care if it’s good. It’s just a nice distraction. But it’s never been an issue. I’ve never thought of it as there being a problem at least. Not until you came over. We’re so similar you and I…”Suddenly Jungkook couldn’t breathe. Things were falling into place, and he felt horrified. His entire back was full of goose bumps and he shivered slightly as the sudden realization of what Taemin was saying hit him with full force. He didn’t want to hear anymore, wanted to reach out and stop Taemin before he said another word.But it wouldn’t be fair and it still wouldn’t help. They both knew the truth already, and if his hyung felt better from saying it out loud, he couldn’t deny him the chance. Especially not after everything else he’d been brave enough to confess. So Jungkook stayed still and quiet, waiting for those words he knew he’d hate.“I said before that we’re really similar, and when I met you that first evening I felt it too”, Taemin said, and now he was looking extremely uncomfortable, his cheeks going slightly pink with embarrassment. “At first I didn’t mind. You kissed me and I have to admit that was kind of what I’d been hoping you’d do. We got to my apartment and I knew exactly what I wanted. I actually think I knew it from the second I gave you my number.”That was news to Jungkook. He stared at his hyung, silently thinking that maybe he’d been one of those people Taemin had manipulated just like Jimin had implied. Or maybe he was more one of the things Taemin wanted? Or both. Except that wasn’t the whole truth, because Taemin wasn’t the only one who’d wanted it. He’d ended it before Jungkook got the chance to get what he wanted. No matter whose plan it’d been, or who started it, one thing was crystal clear in Jungkook’s mind: Their feelings of want had been mutual.“But then you were there right in front of me”, Taemin kept explaining. “You were there, under me, calling me hyung, and I just broke, shut down, fell apart. I couldn’t do it. It was too similar. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It was a strange feeling. I felt like both the victim and the culprit all at once, remembering how I’d felt back then. It was like you both scared me and made me fear myself simultaneously. Somehow you still gave me another chance to be your friend though, and I honestly think I wouldn’t even have agreed to that much if it wasn’t for Jimin. You scared me shitless!”Taemin laughed embarrassedly and hid his face in his hands. Jungkook couldn’t smile though. He finally understood just how upset Taemin must’ve been that night despite the calm exterior. No wonder he’d thrown such a fit in the dressing room later. He silently thanked Jimin for giving him another chance to get to know this amazing man. Even if it ended in heartbreak, Jungkook decided he wouldn’t regret it. He’d stay proud of the special relationship he’d managed to develop with this hyung.“I couldn’t really keep away though, could I?” Taemin mused shyly. “I got to know you, and the more I got to know, the more I cared about you and wanted to spend time with you. It was like a never-ending spiral of happy self-loathing. The closer I got, the more I needed to push you away to protect you from me. I saw the way you looked at me and I remembered how I’d idolized that man, and how badly that ended. I realized how much power I had over you and I promised myself I’d never use it to hurt you. If I couldn’t get rid of it, I’d use it to protect you instead. I tried, I really did. I taught you everything I could come up with, anything that might help you.”Jungkook remembered all those long nights of dinners, phone calls, texts, and suddenly they came into a different light. He felt sick. Was pity all Taemin had felt for him? In his hyung’s eyes, was Jungkook just a child too dumb to protect himself?“Do you remember that time you cooked for me?” Taemin suddenly said, looking into Jungkook’s eyes for the first time in a while. Jungkook simply nodded silently. He felt like he might throw up if he tried to speak now.“I’m so sorry, Jungkook”, Taemin said and he looked very sad all of a sudden. “I knew you’d be there. Jimin isn’t very good at keeping secrets, so he told Jongin who told me. I panicked thinking we’d be alone in my apartment again, so I brought that guy home with me to scare you off. It was a dumb, shitty thing to do, but I couldn’t think clearly. All I could hear was you calling me hyung, over and over, ringing in my head. I said I tried to protect you, but maybe I was only protecting myself. Why else would I’ve tried to hurt you like that?”Yup, this was definitely the feeling of wanting to throw up. Jungkook felt the rug being thoroughly swept from underneath his feet; a really big, fat rug that left him stumbling and falling, shattered and broken. Taemin had known all along how he felt, and it’d freaked him out. He’d even tried to warn him, and scare him off. Of course, Jungkook had been too dumb and stubborn to even notice.“The dumbest part is”, Taemin said, suddenly running his fingers through his hair, rubbing his face slightly in embarrassment, “that you didn’t even come over to sleep with me. You were just trying to support your friend, and hyung. All those times it’s like I had a complete one-track mind, making up stories all on my own. I couldn’t handle my own feelings so I pushed them on to you, acting like they were your problem instead of mine. And through all of it, you patiently stood by me and helped me, even today after that awful drunk-dial you got last time. I can’t believe I just called you up and confessed like that. That’s such a dumb move really.”Jungkook sensed that he was missing something now. He was still hurt, but now he was getting confused as well. Taemin didn’t seem to notice though. He certainly didn’t wait for Jungkook to catch up. Instead he kept babbling on, now seemingly unable to stop until he’d said everything that’d been on his mind.“Going to practice today I was so nervous”, Taemin confessed. “Because I knew you’d want to talk about it, and I knew I had to confess properly. I couldn’t stand lying anymore, and since I was going to tell you the truth, I felt like I might as well come clean about all of it. Why I’d acted so weird before, and why I’d been pushing your friendship away, and my feelings too of course. I know it might make you uncomfortable, but I’ll just have to trust that you’re wiser than me and will tell me if I’m being a creep. And I need you to know that I can’t be one of your friends that you sometimes sleep with. I care about you way too much for that. So in that sense you’re very safe. I won’t try anything since I know you don’t feel the same way I do. Please don’t feel pressured by it. As I said, I just want to be honest. I hope it doesn’t make you so freaked out that you can’t be my friend anymore.”After spewing all of that out, Taemin finally looked over at Jungkook and seemed to notice his confusion. He smiled shyly again and then laughed a little at Jungkook’s frown.“Am I going too fast?” he asked. “Was there something you didn’t understand?”Jungkook kept frowning and staring at his hyung, trying to figure out exactly what it was he didn’t get. He was sure there was something because the last things Taemin said made no sense to him. He knew he was getting his heart broken one way or the other, but if that was happening at least he wanted to know how and why.“I didn’t really get anything you just said”, he finally admitted. “Maybe I’m really stupid but nothing of it made sense. I’m too young and I scare you and you just want to be friends, right? You confessed it all. And I get it if you don’t want to hook up with a friend. But shouldn’t you be the one that’s uncomfortable about my feelings for you? Because you could never freak me out, or be creepy like you said. You could never make me uncomfortable in the way that man made you, because the roles are reversed, aren’t they? I was the one trying to sleep with you, remember? You pushed me away. So how is that creepy? I’m the one who has feelings for you. So… what am I missing here?”Taemin stared at him while he was talking, his forehead also frowning as he tried to take in all the things Jungkook was saying. When he’d finished Jungkook only had to wait a second before he saw a small smile begin to show itself in the corners of Taemin’s mouth. Still he got no explanation and he felt himself grow even more confused. And then Taemin looked at his confused face and started laughing again, his face turning pink with shy excitement.“You like me?” he asked in disbelief, giggling when he saw Jungkook’s eyebrows rise in surprise.“Wasn’t that what we were talking about?” Jungkook answered, feeling his brain working hard to keep up with the conversation. “You were pushing me away to save me from getting hurt, right?”Taemin giggled even more now, suddenly collapsing in a fit of laughter on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook didn’t know if he should be happy about it or really offended. Clearly he was missing something important. Then Taemin sat up straight again, seemingly trying to calm himself down as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. His mouth was still smiling wide though and he looked both embarrassed and excited all at once.“Jungkook”, he said happily, his cheeks still a fresh pink shade. “What did you think I was confessing before? I’m sorry but I guess I’m very bad at confessions, since you clearly missed the whole point. I like you, you pabo, and I’m glad that you like me too, but I had no idea you did until a moment ago.”Seeing Jungkook’s eyes go wide in surprise, Taemin laughed a little again before continuing: “That’s why I was so nervous before! I thought I’d get rejected, you dumbo! But I guess that’s not the case? I’m glad we’re at least equally bad at this whole confession thing. Really, it’s a miracle we got through this conversation as well as we did. Two complete pabos!”He started giggling to himself again, and this time Jungkook felt himself smile with him, the happiness rising in his stomach when he finally understood the true meaning of Taemin’s words. He started giggling too, the happiness building until he was laughing like crazy. Taemin joined in, pulled along by the feelings of relief and silliness they both felt in that moment. Both of them collapsed in a pile on the couch, laughing until they were holding their stomachs, trying to ease their aching muscles.As they both took deep breaths to calm themselves down, tears of laughter were painting Taemin’s cheeks again. Jungkook reached out to carefully brush them away, still smiling happily. Taemin gave him a shy smile back before leaning in to kiss him softly. Jungkook felt shivers run up his back again, but this time it was out of happiness and not fear. He grabbed Taemin’s sides and pulled him forward, soon holding him in a firm grip against his body. Taemin sighed happily, putting his arms around Jungkook’s neck and smiled into the kiss.Jungkook felt like he’d finally found what he’d been looking for all along. His hands roamed Taemin’s back and he tugged impatiently at the shirt that was getting in his way. Taemin smiled as he lifted it over his head and threw it on the floor. Then he reached out to lift Jungkook’s shirt as well, and Jungkook gladly helped him out by raising his arms towards the ceiling as Taemin pulled it off.Letting his hyung run his hands over his chest, he shivered and sighed, closing his eyes and enjoying the touch. Opening them slightly he could see Taemin smiling at him. He leaned in to kiss him again, feeling his tongue tickle Taemin’s lower lip before he was let inside. Taemin moaned into his mouth, and he could feel him clawing at his hair now, needing him even closer.Grabbing his hyung with a firm grip around his waist and hips, he heaved the both of them off the couch and walked into the bedroom. Putting Taemin down against the mattress, he laid himself on top of him, holding himself up by his elbows. Taemin’s legs were around his waist and his face was right in front of him. Kissing him sweetly once more, he used his hips to grind against him, moaning at the feeling. Taemin followed along with the movement and soon Jungkook felt like a sweating, shivering mess.“Hyung, I’ve been thinking”, he said sweetly. “That whole thing with me scaring you so much, let’s not risk that happening again.”He could see Taemin looking at him in confusion now, but there was no fear in his eyes. Grinding down against him once more, Jungkook smiled teasingly and continued:“This time, just to make sure you don’t get scared, I’ll be on top”. He ran his hand firmly up along the outside of Taemin’s thigh and he could see Taemin smiling at him now, finally catching on. “I’ll take really good care of you hyung, I promise”, Jungkook said smiling, seeing Taemin giggling under him, as he pushed his hand down to squeeze Taemin’s ass.“We’ll see about that”, was all Taemin answered before he kissed him again.---“Those two are the most annoyingly cute pair of lovebirds I’ve ever seen”, Key sighed in frustration. “Why do they have to act that way?”“Oh come on, they’re in love”, Onew said kindly. “Just let them have their moment.”“But seriously, feeding each other meat?” Key said and made a fake vomit sound.“It’s cute!” Minho insisted. “And it’s nice to see Taemin so happy. You have to admit, they’re pretty perfect for each other.”“Yeah, both equally annoying”, Key muttered, though he couldn’t help but smile when he saw Taemin laughing at Jungkook’s shocked face after he’d just managed to spill sauce on Taemin’s shirt. There was such pure happiness in that laughter that it was impossible not to smile.After everything that’d happened he was glad Taemin had found someone he could be this relaxed around. They did seem pretty perfect for each other just like Minho had said. Except…“Hold on a second!” Key exclaimed. “That’s my shirt! The maknae stole my shirt! That little piece of shit! He’s getting sauce on my shirt!”At a table on the other side of the room, Jungkook never noticed how Minho was fighting hard to wrestle Key down, keeping him from ruining the newly formed couple’s cute moment together. He didn’t notice how Onew was trying to calm him down either. He certainly didn’t know anything about his members having a heated discussion a few rooms away about who they thought was top or bottom in the relationship.All he knew was that the perfect man was right in front of him enjoying a piece of well cooked rib eye. His smiling lips were glistening with meat juice and his sparkling eyes were meeting Jungkook’s, sending so much love his way that Jungkook was having trouble breathing.“Here”, Taemin said, offering a piece of meat at the end of his chopsticks. “This is the tastiest part! Try it with some sauce.”“Why are you being so nice to me?” Jungkook teased, smiling wide as he accepted the meat into his mouth. “Giving me the best part? Are you trying to bribe me?”“Of course not! Don’t be silly!” Taemin huffed, though his smile said otherwise. “I just wanted to reward you. You danced so well today, after working with the choreography for so long, struggling so hard to learn the steps. My heart ached for you! And now you did so well! You deserve a reward. You’ve earned it!”“Thank you!” Jungkook said, smiling as he chewed. “You make it sound like I had a really hard time though. I didn’t. I’m a good dancer, you know?”“I was there”, Taemin laughed. “I saw your struggles, remember? You don’t need to cover up with me.”“I danced it perfectly fine when you weren’t there!” Jungkook insisted. “It’s not my fault you’re so damn distracting…”Taemin laughed even more at that, his eyes forming happy crescents as he beamed towards his new boyfriend, proud but slightly embarrassed. Jungkook had to give up and laugh as well. That face was just too cute.He stretched forward his chopsticks, offering Taemin another piece of meat. He chewed it happily causing a bit of the meat juice to run down his chin. Jungkook reached out and wiped it away with a tissue, making Taemin smile wide.They continued to sit just like that, smiling at each other as they stuffed their mouths with food. Jungkook sighed happily, completely lost in this moment together with the man he loved, and the food they both shared a love for.From a table on the other end of the room an angry shout of “Lee Taemin!” could be heard, but Jungkook wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy watching the man in front of him smile, taking his breath away.