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Two years ago, my father died. I don’t like changes, but I had no other option than moving. I am nearly three thousand kilometres away from New York, in Montana. I live in a cabin that the observatory has given me. At least, I don’t live alone. My companion is Stella, a female great Dane that I rescued from the pound a few days ago.Today, after dinner, I went out to the porch to get some fresh air and a fifty-something man, with grey hair, moustache and squared silver metal framed glasses. There is something in his green almond shaped eyes, but I don’t know how to decipher it. “Good evening.” He says while he comes out from an old van.I only can greet him with a head movement.“I am Duncan Vizla.” He says while taking off his glove and shakes my hand. “I have just moved.” “Adam Raki. I have been here for a short time also. Can you see the sky from your house?”Duncan laughs at my question. “I think so. But the truth is that I had never paid attention to it.” He says. “I would like to know more things about space.”I am so excited that I start talking very fast: “I have a telescope at home. Today is cloudy. But we could get out one day to see the stars.” “It’s a good idea.” Duncan answers. “Good night, Adam.”Unable to answer him, I enter the house, where, after a good bath, I put on my blue cotton pyjamas with stars printed in white and I get sleep, thinking about that green-eyed man. Another day starts. Stella licks my hand and I stand up. “Good morning, doggie!” I say, putting my slippers on. “Let’s have some breakfast!I go to the kitchen, were I fill her bowl with feed. Then, I boil a couple of eggs and I toast two slices of bread. When we finish breakfast, I get dressed and I go for a walk with Stella.Duncan is sitting on his porch’s bench, smoking a cigarette. He smiles when he sees me and gets nearer to us. “Hello, Adam.” He says while scratching Stella’s ears. “And, who are you?” “Woof, woof,” The bitch answers. “Duncan, this is Stella.” I answer while I laugh. “Stella, this is Duncan.”The bitch sits and he starts to stroke her back. “Are you going for a walk?” Duncan asks me. “I’m going to accompany you”.And we start walking in the path. Snow rustles under our feet and wets Stella’s paws.An hour later, we return home, freezing. I breathe several times before asking Duncan if he fancies a cup of tea. “Thank you.” He answers while Stella and he get inside.I fill the teapot with water and, when it boils, I put the tea, which I pour in the cups.We start drinking in silence. Duncan takes a biscuit and bites it. “If you want it…” He says. “… Tonight, we go to see the stars.”I am so enthusiastic that I nearly jump. I smile to Duncan and he smiles back. “Thank you.” “I will come for you at seven.”And he gives the last sip to his cup before saying goodbye to me and getting out. “Well, here we are.” I say to Stella while I scratch her ears. “Do you know that I like Duncan?”She barks, like if she wants me to tell her more. “Ok. The truth is that he is an attractive man. I like his eyes. You know that is hard for me to look people in the eyes. But I can look into his eyes when I want it to.” For an instant, it gives me the impression that Stella is smiling at me. “All right. But it’s been a short time since Beth and I split up. You know that relationships are something I am not good at.” As an answer, I receive a bark. “Yes, right. I can do a test, what the hell!” It’s five past seven. Duncan is late. Perhaps, he has forgotten our date. I hear the tick tock of the clock and I start getting nervous. My hands tremble and I start panting. I sit on my bedroom’s floor, with my head on my bed, and I try to breathe. At last, at ten past seven, I hear someone knocking on the door and calling me by my name:“Adam?”I breathe deeply before standing up and taking my telescope bag. I open the door and there is Duncan, with two tartan blankets on his arms. I can’t resist smiling back at him while Stella and I get outside home.We get into the van and, when we get into the forest, Duncan takes the case with my telescope, which I start assembling.We sit on the floor, covered in the blankets, because it is so cold.. “Look…” I say while I get the instrument nearer to Duncan’s eye. “That small blue point in there is Venus.”I start telling him details of the planet, but I think he is not listening me. It makes me angry that someone doesn’t share my passion. But there is something in his eyes. Something that I can’t decipher. Still. It’s Monday morning, very early. I woke up with Stella barking. “Hello, doggie.” I say, while I rub my eyes. “Let’s have some breakfast.”Today is my first day at work and I am nervous. I think Stella has noticed it, because she looks at me in a strange way. “Don’t worry. I’ll do my best.”When I finish breakfast, I get out home and say goodbye to Stella. And, who gets out at the same time as me? Duncan, with a paper package in his hands. “Hello, Adam.” He says, smiling.In get nearer to him and I shake his hand. “Are you going to the observatory?” He asks. I nod. “Get in, I’ll get you.”I open the door and I sit on the copilot seat. In the radio I hear classical music: Bach’s Aria da Capo. I start seeing colors and moving my hands. Duncan smiles at me. “You like it, don’t you?I nod. “Do you play the piano?” “Yes. It is one of the things that I’m going to do now that I’m retired.” I asked what his job was. “I was in the funeral business.”Wow! I wasn’t expecting that answer. I close my eyes for a while and, when I open them, I discover that Duncan has stopped the van. “We have arrived, Adam.” He says, rubbing my shoulder.I thank him and I get off the vehicle. “See you at five.” I say.Today has come a big group to the observatory. They speak loudly and I must breathe several times before I can start my lecture. But when I finish, they applaud me and I breath again, but, this time, relieved “Thank you, Adam.” Says my workmate.It’s five already. I pick up my things and I get out to the observatory door. There is Duncan, with his silver moustache and hair, smiling while he waves at me. We get into his van and set off home. When we arrive, Stella starts sniffing our trouser legs. “Let’s see…” Says Duncan while scratching her ears. What’s wrong with you?”“Woof, woof!” “Ok.” I say, laughing. “Patience, doggie. Do you want some coffee, Duncan?”But he shakes his head and caresses my cheeks after directing my hand to his chest. “This is what I want.”Wow! “Do you want…?” I start saying. “Do you want... Sex?” “Not yet. I only want to lie down and hug. Ok?I nod while Duncan holds me in his arms. He lies me down in the bed and starts to unbutton my shirt, discovering my still hairless chest. “I also had Astronomy lessons at school.” He says before kissing my eyelids. “I learned how to orient myself…” I take off his glasses. “… Looking for the north star.” He takes my hand and keeps on whispering: “Would you know how to orient yourself with the north star?”“Yes”.Duncan starts laughing while he caresses my hair with his trembling, white hands, causing me the most pleasant drowsiness. “You are delightful, Adam.” “Thank you.”And he kisses my forehead while a furtive tear wells up from my eye, despite my effort in stopping it. Then, he caresses my head again and starts signing with his baritone bitter voice:
Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird don't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring turns to brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass.
If that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy-goat.
If that billy-goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull.
If that cart and bull turns over,
Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.
If that dog named Rover won't bark,
Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart.
If that horse and cart falls down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
Today it is been a month since Duncan and I meet. We have arranged to meet for dinner and watching the stars.It is sunset. After a good bath, I get dressed and comb my hair. “Do you think he would like it, Stella?” As an answer, I receive a bark. “It doesn’t sound bad.”At last I hear the doorbell. Is Duncan, who has left his van with the headlights on. He hugs me when he sees me, and I answer getting rigid. But when his fingers go down my cheeks I get relaxed and he smiles. We get into the van and go to the village restaurant, where we sit at a table.A waiter hands us two menus, which we start reading in silence. There is many dishes and I find it difficult to decide. Some minutes later, the waiter gets nearer, and Duncan says what we want. “Let’s see. For me, pesto ravioli and vitello tonnato. And for my companion, penne Alfredo and sirloin.”There is noise in the hall, so I decide trying not to hear it, focusing in talking to Duncan. When our dishes arrive, I can’t help smiling. “It’s macaroni and cheese!” I say, enthusiastic.Duncan smiles back and we start eating in silence. When he looks at me, his eyes shine, but I don’t know what it means.After the desserts, we go to the countryside by car. Duncan takes a big cardboard box from the trunk while I sit down in a stone. “This is for you.” He says while I start ripping the paper that wraps it.I tear off completely the package’s paper, discovering a telescope’s box. Duncan sits beside me, and I start kissing him slowly in the lips while I feel fire inundating my chest. “You have to teach me how to see the stars.” He says.And I assemble the telescope and I start telling him the names of the stars, the constellations and the planets I see. I don’t know how much time I have been talking to Duncan, but I’m starting to get excited. Would he feel the same?A couple of hours later, we decide to get back home. When we arrive, Duncan takes me in his arms and leaves me on the bed before taking off his shoes. I slip my fingers on his tartan shirt buttons, unbuttoning them, while he does the same with mine, showing my hairless chest. The, he takes off my trousers and I take off his.“We are going…” I say while I feel my voice trembling. “We are going to see ourselves naked.”A loud laugh from Duncan makes me lose some of my nervousness. “I’m afraid so.” “One, two… And three!”We put our head under the eiderdown. Duncan’s hair is grey, but his musculature hasn’t lost its firmness. I go down both with my eyes and my hands his body from the neck to the waist. This is a delight! No, Duncan is more delightful than a delight. A kind of exotic fruit that I want to taste. He hugs me from behind while, moving his pelvis rhythmically, he gets in me. I can’t repress a series of gasps.The moment has come. I hold onto a headboard bar while my heart, which had returned to its normal rhythm, speeds up and I groan while I caress Duncan’s head, who roars with pleasure. For some instants, I feel like my soul getting off my body and coming back to me after going all over the world, provoking me an inexplicable pleasure. Between gasps, we manage to separate ourselves. “Do you love me?” Says Duncan, kissing my forehead.I don’t know how to answer him. Yes, I feel something for Duncan, but I am not able of saying it with words, so I decide to kiss him in the lips slowly. Very slowly. He smiles while he caresses my hair and kisses me back before setting his head on my chest and fallen asleep. From my eyes, tears well up while I close them.Tonight, it has snowed again and it’s freezing cold. Duncan is in the garden, chopping wood. I get out to the porch and I observe him for several minutes.“Adam!” Says Duncan, driving the axe in the stump and getting nearer to me. Then, he realises I am on my pyjamas and barefoot. “Get home. You’ll catch cold.”And gets nearer to me while he takes off his coat, which puts over my shoulders. Then, he holds me in his arms and lies me on the sofa before wrapping me in a blanket and start rubbing my feet.“There!” He whispers. “I’m going to light the chimney.”I thank him, because it is now when I realise how cold I am.Duncan rekindles the fire with the aid of the bellows before sitting next to me. He unbuttons the first button of my pyjama’s shirt and starts caressing my chest while he whispers to me:“Shall we go to bed?”I nod and Duncan and I enter the bedroom. He sits on the bed while I fill Stella’s dish, who starts eating.Duncan calls me and I sit beside him while he kisses my forehead. He hugs me before falling asleep.Another day starts. When I wake up, I see there is nobody else in the bed. Still half-asleep, I go to the kitchen, where is a note from Duncan:“I had to go to my doctor’s appointment. I’ll come back at lunch time.XXXDuncan.“Well, seems we are alone.” I tell Stella, who starts barking.I serve myself a cereal and milk bowl and, when I finish, I get dressed and we go for a walk.“I think we are going to prepare something for Duncan when he comes back.” I say while we pass in front of the supermarket. “Don’t you think.” Stella barks and waggles her tail. “Wait for me here.”I get into the store and I buy the ingredients to prepare a lasagne. When we return home, I get into the kitchen, where I put the apron on.“Let’s see, Stella. First, we get the bechamel ready.”Time flies when I cook. Just when I finish to cook au gratin the lasagne, I hear Duncan’s voice, who whistles a song.“Hello, gorgeous.” He says after kissing my forehead. “That smells delicious.”“Thank you.”I set the hall’s table while Duncan gets the lasagne off the oven. When we sit, we start eating in silence.“Thank you, Adam.” Says Duncan when we have finished.I smile at his words. I take the plates to the kitchen, I wash them and let them dry in the plate rack on the sink side. Duncan puts his hand on my waist.“Adam…” He says. “… We need to talk.”Damn! We go to the hall and Duncan sits on the armchair. He breathes deeply several times before starting again:“This is very difficult.” He says while he breathes deeply. I take his hands. “Let’s see… Adam… Before you came… I had a blood test among several tests… and today… the doctor has given me the results and… I have discovered…” He breathes again. “That I have a tumour. It started in the prostate, but it has already reached the lungs and the liver.”Shit! Damn! Fuck! I try to cry, but my eyes are dry. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!“I don’t want Duncan to go to heaven.”I know that I seem a child when I say that, but I don’t care. My father always said that it was a good thing to say what you feel. Duncan smiles, but I think there is no happiness in his smile.“As you can see, Adam.” He says, taking my hand. “I have lived a good life. There is no country in the world I haven’t been to, I have earned a lot of money, I have met a lot of people… and, thanks to you…” A tear wells up from his eye and he dries it with the tip of his handkerchief. “… I have learned how to love. So, if I die of what I have, ok. Because staying in a hospital for months, exhausted in a bed, with a tube in each orifice in my body… No!” He kisses my forehead and carries on. “Think that when I go, I will be one of the starts which you see with your telescope. In the end, we are energy and energy can’t be created nor destroyed, can it?”Duncan’s words relieve me. I smile and hug him.“That’s it!” He says while he kisses my eyelids. “Please don’t lose your smile.” Duncan is playing the piano. I sit next to him and I move my hands.“Stravinsky.” I say accidentally while I see glints of white, yellow, red, blue and green moving in a black background.“Yes.” He answers smiling while he resumes with the song.When he ends, he asks me if we shall play something else. I go to the bookcase and I take a score book, which I open on the piano’s music stand. When Duncan ends the introduction, I start signing:
Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight Fever in the mornin'
Fever all through the night.
Duncan smiles again and applauds while Stella stands up and licks my hands.“Seems she has enjoyed it also.” Says Duncan, smiling while he hugs me. Duncan and I are walking in the forest with Stella. It’s very cold and it is snowing, but I find it nice the sensation of the snowflakes on my skin and the creak that our feet make while we walk.When we come back home, we decide to take a bath. I like the sensation of being immersed in the hot water, lying down next to Duncan, and I can’t repress a moan when his hand touches mine. Some minutes later, we get off the tub. Duncan puts on his bathrobe and goes to the kitchen while I dry and get into my pyjamas. I wait for him lying on the bed, trying not to fall asleep. He returns with a bamboo tray in which there are two cups of the and a bottle of bourbon. He pours a stream of it in one and hands me the other one. I take the first sip of the infusion, which burns my lips, while Duncan puts a spoonful of sugar to his.“Adam, I had an idea.” He says. “We are going to make the most of my remaining time.”I look at my partner, surprised.“How?”Duncan smiles and, after giving a sip to his cup, he moves closer to me a white paper envelope. I open it and I discover two plane tickets.“We are going to travel, Adam.” He says without losing his smile. “I want to show you what I have seen. We will start with the A and end with Z”.“Stella also?”“Stella also. Imagine, you, explaining me how the stars in each country in the world are.”I think for a while.“I don’t know, Duncan.” I say. “The plan is magnificent. But I would have to give up my job in the observatory.”“I have eight million dollars in the bank. I will take care of everything. Tomorrow we will see your boss.” I smile at imagining Duncan, with his black coat, his moustache and his serious face, telling my boos that I’m going on travel with him.“I’ll try” I say.Duncan smiles at me while I can’t help to hug him. He puts his index finger on my lips. One by one, he undoes my shirts buttons and I do the same with his. I am not so nervous as the first time and I think Duncan has noticed it, because he smiles at me while he takes off my clothes. He places his hands on my buttocks and starts slipping my boxers little by little. I place my hands on his ears and take off his glasses before lying faced down and hold tight onto the headboard bars. It is then when Duncan gets on me and proceeds to penetrate me. A stream of passion gets over me and I scream for a second before biting my lip.When, at last, we separate, Duncan kisses me in the lips, draining to the dregs that last moment. All the luggage is ready in a taxi’s boot. Stella, in a big metal carrier, moves her tail with bored air. “Patience, doggie.” Says Duncan, scratching her ears. “We are going to have a nice travel”.The taxi driver smiles when he hears him speaking with the bitch. “You have many suitcases.” He says when he starts the car. “Are you going far away?” “Around the world.” I answer, smiling.At last, the wait ends. We are sitting in what will be my first plane trip and I am nervous. “How did you come from New York, Adam?” Duncan asks me when we sit. “By train.” I answer while he opens his eyes wide. “Nearly three days.”Duncan lets out a guffaw. “Well, now we are going to enjoy ourselves.” He says, taking my hand. “Is an eighteen-hour flight, with a stopover in Frankfurt and…I squeeze Duncan’s hand tightly. We are going to take off. I feel like if I had something in my stomach, but it is not the habitual nervousness. The plane is in the air. “How are you feeling?”“Happy of being with you.” I answer without thinking.A flight attendant gets nearer to us with a tray in which are some champagne cups and orange juice glasses. Duncan put a glass on my desk before taking a champagne cup and giving it a sip.“Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly away.” I start singing while Duncan laughs in a low voice.THE END