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Jack's thumb brushes over the printed date on the newspaper he bought at one of those peculiar airport stores. The kind of store that sells everything and nothing at the same time. One might walk around them three or four times and still leave without remembering a single item on those lonely shelves. He isn't sure why he purchased it; perhaps he hoped to read a pleasant story about a miraculous rescue or the discovery of a new species. Now that he thinks of it, even an awful story would satisfy him, anything to keep from envisioning his father's casket; his cold, lifeless body below in the cargo hold. One of those stories might stop him from wondering what it's like down there, whether it's dark and unpleasant. Of course, in the end, it doesn't matter because his father is dead. His father won't care whether it's cold or dark, as the dead do not fear nor care about such things. The man heavily sighs; so much for the newspaper. He rolls it up and tucks it into the bag at his feet.As Jack peers out the window, an intense pressure pierces his skull like a bullet, and his brow furrows, breath hitching for a moment. Rubbing his forehead with irritation, he glares at the not-so-alcoholic drink before him. It has done little to soothe his headache throughout the trip, but that's probably for the best; being half-drunk won't do him any favors upon their arrival.Against his arm, the tiny head resting shifts, and his burdens shrink, thoughts breaking as he peers down. A fond look enters his eyes, the kind only a parent can have. Madison, his beautiful baby girl. The one reason he prevails in such troublesome times. She grips his right arm as if her survival depends on it. More often than not, she fights to stay this close, desperate to stay by his side. He strokes his hand over her dark brown hair, slow and steady so as not to wake her. "What's her name?" Jack glances up to see a dark-skinned woman watching them with kind eyes. She offers a smile, one that he finds comfort in somehow. "Madison. Her name is Madison," he says, dropping his eyes back to his baby. His lips, previously downturned to match his furrowed brow, quirk up ever so slightly. His daughter often has that effect on him. "She's beautiful," Rose says in a hushed tone. "How old?" "Five," Jack answers, his quirk now turning into a grin. "Ah," she says with an understanding nod. "I'm sure she keeps you busy. Five is typically the most adventurous age for them."The man's grin widens, and he snickers at the notion of Maddie being a handful. She's always been an incredibly well-mannered child, rarely causing him any trouble at all. "No, she's a good kid. Better than I deserve." His smile dulls a bit, the hold on his child becoming somewhat tighter. The melancholy of his statement lingers heavy in the air between them, and Rose can't help but wonder why he believes something so awful. She wants to know the story behind this man with dark, sad eyes and his beautiful baby. "I'm Rose," she says, nodding in place of the traditional handshake. "Jack." A cordial smile crosses his lips. "Are you traveling alone?"Rose glimpses behind her seat, contemplating what happened to her significant other, more than confident he's gotten himself lost. "No. My husband's with me. He went to use the bathroom." Jack follows her gaze for a moment before looking back to his child, resting his hand over her tiny ones around his arm. He has that look on his face again, those sad, hopeless features for Rose to examine. "It's not my place to say, but... you look like you mean the world to her, and that counts for a lot."It's a valid remark, and Jack can't express how much the child's admiration means to him. Yet, he often wonders if that will last. Will she one day come to resent him as he had with his father? Those thoughts lead to swirling anxiety in his stomach. Don't think. Don't. Think. He traces his fingertips against the delicate skin of Maddie's hand, his smile now feeling stretched and unnatural on his lips. Another tense silence proceeds between them, and he realizes he hasn't responded to her kindness. He clears his throat, his voice coming out thick with emotions. "Thank you."A man suddenly barrels past them, some crew following a few seconds behind. They calmly call after the man, no doubt to avoid worrying the other passengers. Jack glances down the aisle with curiosity, and the plane gives an unexpected jolt. Its intense motion startles Maddie from her sleep, fear forming on her face as her eyes shoot open. Her grip tightens on her father's arm, tiny fingers digging into the fabric of his suit jacket. She has only flown a few times in her short life and doesn't care for it. Jack peers down, tenderly grasping her cheek, and she scans his face for signs of alarm. "Hey sweetie," he coos at her. "It's okay. Just a little turbulence." Maddie remains silent but half-smiles at his reassurance.The seat belt sign glows a neon orange as the intercom rings, and a woman's voice requests all passengers return to their seats. It sounds routine, so Jack thinks nothing of it as he fastens his unbuckled seat belt. "Let's buckle up, sweetie." Maddie does as told, like always, but her slight pout doesn't go unnoticed when he detaches her from his arm. Soon enough, she's resting on him again, exhausted from the long journey. "Are you hungry?" Jack asks, chuckling when the girl nods with extreme eagerness. He reaches into the bag by his feet, rummaging for a moment. A numb tingle has spread through his arm from holding her, but he doesn't mind. He finds some animal crackers and pulls them out with a smile. Another bump rattles the plane, the trembles less benign this time around. Jack brushes it off, but Maddie looks around, wide-eyed and frightened. Her strength tightens on her father's arm again, chest rising and falling in fear. "Maddie." Jack draws her attention back, handing her the crackers. He offers the most reassuring smile he can muster, but she takes the bag and continues to glance about with fear in her eyes. Amusement crosses Jack's lips as an idea to distract her from the situation pops into his head. He leans in, gently holding her face to touch their foreheads, and Maddie gazes at his brownish-green eyes. "Why don't you choose an animal you think fits me?" The girl instantly lights up, and Jack's thankful that while well behaved, she still has the same attention span as a five-year-old.She pulls open the bag with enthusiasm, seeking comfort in the nostalgia of their game. It's a game they created when she was learning to tell her animals apart. She tips the crackers into her palm, searching until she spots the right one. Jack's smile broadens as she hands him the sweet snack. The mighty lion, as he suspected. When she was younger, his animal changed a lot; he had once been a camel, a rhinoceros, and even a seal before. Once she turned four, however, he became the lion every time. "The lion again, huh?" Maddie nods without a doubt in her mind, and her father laughs. "Okay, your turn." As he reaches out to take the treats, the plane shudders, and Jack's previous calm grows disturbed. This amount of turbulence is new to him. It isn't enough to imply they are crashing, yet it doesn't seem standard either. Maddie gives a frightened murmur, forgetting her hunger as the crackers drop to the floor, and she wraps around her father's arm. The shaking continues as Jack secures her seat belt, taking her trembling hand in his much larger one. He has to stay strong for her sake, even if their nerves are on the same page. "It's alright, baby. It will be over—" The plane convulses harder than before, and shrieks of terror from the other passengers echo the fuselage. People claw in their seats as emergency alarms sound off. The force of gravity pulls at them, the plane now descending at an unforgiving speed.Jack glances at Maddie, watching tears stream her cheeks in rivers. She buries her face into his arm, wanting her father to make all the madness stop and go away. What he wouldn't give to make that happen. Oxygen masks fall from their compartment, causing them both to flinch, and Jack forces himself to follow instructions, putting his on first before helping Maddie. He realizes she's in a state of panic, her quick gasps for air fogging up the plastic oxygen mask. Squeezing her palm, Jack pushes against the pressure of the wild wind and turns her gaze to him. He lifts his hand, placing it flat on her chest, and without words, the child understands his instructions to breathe. She takes a breath, feeling the oxygen fill her lungs.The screams and alarms grow fuzzy in her mind as she leans into her father, wishing to climb into his lap for safety. Jack pulls her as close as possible while staying buckled in their seats, embracing her with everything he has. It's the end, and he is powerless to stop it. Darkness soon consumes him, but it's a peaceful, numbing bliss that steals him from the world.✦All at once, every bit of life comes rushing back as Jack's eyes shoot open. He gasps for air, his body going into mild shock, unable to control the shaking of his numb limbs. Everything around him is a blur of green, his vision fading in and out. Nausea swirls in his stomach while his hand grips at the dirt under him. Is that the ground? He isn't quite sure which way is up and which way is down. It takes a while for his sight to return to normal, but he's even more confused when it does. Endless rows of bamboo stalks surround him, leaving him to wonder where exactly he's fallen.Something approaches on his right, and his head swiftly turns, his brain spinning from the quick motion. A white labrador advances a few steps away, staying low in the brush as if he were hunting. He lingers for a moment before running past the stunned man without a second thought. Jack watches him race off with a slack jaw, the numbness in his body starting to wear off.Agony hits all his muscles as he forces himself to stand, stumbling from side to side. A stabbing pain throbs on his back, and he brushes his shaky hand over a red gash on his side. His breath comes in heavy pants due to the pain, forcing him to rest with his hands on his knees, doing his best to recall what the hell happened. Memories flood his consciousness, burning throughout his skull, similar to the pain he felt earlier on the plane. Wait. The Plane. The crash. Maddie. His whole body grows stiff, glancing around and realizing that his helpless little girl isn't with him. He searches the area, trembling under the burden of fear and pain. All the worst thoughts cross his mind during this long, painful moment. He had wrapped his arms around her so tight; why isn't she with him? Reality soon sinks in like a ship to the bottom of the ocean, and he rushes into the jungle. Every step his body meets with protest, but he doesn't care. "Madison!" He screams, brain working faster than he can process. Is she with the other passengers? Is she hurt? "Madison!" Branches reach out, clawing at his face and arms. "Maddie!"At some point, Jack's body caves, unable to support the adrenaline surging through his heart. He stops, resting against a tree and cursing under his breath. Tears roll down his cheek, clouding his vision. What if she's... no. No. He stops the image from even entering his mind, roughly scrubbing the tears away and slapping his lacerated cheeks to rouse himself. He has to find her. No, he will find her.Hauling himself upright, Jack takes a few deep breaths, confidence rising at the sound of the crashing ocean waves. He follows the noise like a lifeline — which at this point, it probably is — and soon finds the vast expansion of the beach. The man studies every direction, scanning and searching for something, anything. Then he hears the screams, turning his blood to ice in his veins.Jack runs towards the sound, feet sinking into the sand, causing him to stumble with each step until the wreckage comes into view. Shock captures his mind once more as his eyes behold multiple pieces of gnarled metal lying among the beach. Possessions and people alike lay haphazardly spread everywhere; the living and dead clumped across the beach in a chaotic environment. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping him upright as he rushes into the anarchy.His ears ring from the loud uproar of the plane's engine, still whirling around, drowning out the panicking passengers. Nowhere amongst the destruction does he see Maddie. The back of the plane isn't even on the beach, gone as if it vanished into nothing. All he sees is the mortified victims crying out in vain for their loved ones.Ahead of him, Jack spots a man trapped under some debris, pleading for help. So many people need support, and every instinct inside urges him to help as many as possible. But what of Maddie? What about his baby? She needs him too, maybe even more than any of these people. He shuts his eyes, inhaling a slow, deep breath. He counts to five before opening them again, overcoming the way his ribs protest the expansion of his lungs. Fear transforms into determination, reassuring himself he can do both. He can help these people and his daughter.With that, Jack leaps forward to assist the trapped man, beckoning a few others over to help him. While they lift the weight of metal off, Jack drags the man free, taking note of his bloody leg. He yanks off his tie, using it as a tourniquet on the injury. As he works, the screams of a girl reach his ears, his head shooting up as his heart flutters. Maddie? Out towards the water, he spots the source, and his hopes shatter in disappointment. It's not his daughter at all, but the cries of a pregnant woman. Alas, he will help her too.He instructs the others to move the injured man to safety, and his nerves barely shudder as he sprints over to help the pleading woman. All his time spent running the hospital ER when short-staffed is now showing its worth. "Please help," the woman begs as Jack falls to his knees in front of her. "I'm having contractions." "How many months pregnant are you?" "I'm nearly eight months," she says, gripping Jack's shoulder in immense fear. Jack wants nothing more than to put all his attention on her, but in the back of his mind, he can't help but think of his baby. He scans the area, pausing as he catches sight of a young man struggling to resuscitate an unconscious woman. Still somewhat foggy, he tilts his head, wondering why the woman appears so familiar. However, Jack has little time to ponder the thought as the lone struggling plane engine explodes behind him. A rush of heat washes over the air, and the man's first instinct is to shield the pregnant woman. He cranes his back to the disaster, watching the panic grow far worse. Ash and smoke consume the atmosphere, choking the terror-filled survivors that dart every which way through the sand. Jack turns to address his newest patient, hoping to avoid early labor due to stress. "Listen to me," he says, but the woman continues to hyperventilate. "You're going to be okay, but you need to sit still and try to breathe normally." Another contraction hits her body, the pain showing on her features, but she does her best to follow his guidance.Jack stares back at the man performing CPR and soon notices his poor technique. The method is entirely ineffective, a rookie mistake. Much as he doesn't want to leave the pregnant woman alone, he can't allow the inaccurate CPR to continue. "Hey, you!" Jack shouts to a larger man with curly hair idling nearby. "Come here!" He stands and addresses the stranger with ease. "I need you to get this woman away from these fumes. Take her over there, stay with her. If her contractions occur any closer than three minutes apart, call out for me." "Oh, you gotta be kidding me," the man says, acting as though an impossible task now resides upon his shoulder.Jack leans down to reassure the woman of his return before rushing off, pretending it's Maddie, trying to convince himself he's not the worst father in the world for putting all these people ahead of his flesh and blood. He pushes that thought from his mind, recognizing the need to focus.Rushing over, Jack calls out to the inexperienced man, "Stop! Her head's not tilted back far enough. You're blowing air into her stomach!" He nudges the man out of the way, giving the woman mouth-to-mouth correctly. "Are you sure?" the man asks, paying close attention to Jack's motions. "That's what I was doing. I'm a lifeguard. I'm licensed." "Yeah? Well, you should seriously think about giving that license back," Jack says, growing more irritated by the second. "Maybe we should do one of those hole things? You know, when they stick the pen in the throat?"It takes everything inside Jack not to glare at this clueless man, shaking his head while continuing to resuscitate the woman. "Good idea. You go get me a pen!" Jack says, humoring him. Because in reality, the idea is absurd. But it gives the man something to feel helpful in a time of crisis, and he happily runs off in pursuit.Still performing the chest compressions on the woman, Jack begs her to breathe. "Come on!" The plea in his voice is undeniable, fearing it's too late to save her. "Come on!" Finally, the woman gasps, coughing on the oxygen she so desperately needs. Jack smiles, his body slightly weakening. The adrenaline is densely wearing off, pain now jolting through his body like electricity. He ignores it, encouraging the woman to take deep breaths, and that's when he recognizes her. It's the woman who sat in the row beside him on the plane, Rose. The newfound knowledge fills him with immense hope. If Rose survived and is here, then perhaps Maddie is too. He stands up and scans the distance for what seems like the hundredth time, but the moment of hope is short-lived, interrupted by a loud snapping and the creaking of metal. The plane's wing is ready to give way, time seeming to slow when he sees the pregnant woman and larger man sitting beneath it. Jack rushes towards them, waving his arms and yelling for them to move. His efforts pay off, gaining their attention. The larger man helps the woman up, Jack grabbing her other arm as they rush in the opposite direction. Another explosion follows when the wing hits the earth, knocking them to the ground. The screams continue as bursts of flame plague the air, debris falling in various spots, and ash rains down like burning snowflakes. "Are you okay?" Jack asks the woman, and she nods, still watching the horrors unfold behind them. "And you?" He turns his attention to the larger man struggling to catch his breath, and he nods as well. Jack gets up, legs almost buckling underneath him. "Stay with her!" "Dude," the larger man looks at him, half of his face covered in sand. "I'm not going anywhere."Jack scours the beach, asking the other passengers if they have seen a little girl with dark hair and green eyes. He listens to the chorus of screams echoing around him, hoping to hear Maddie cry out. Yet the results of his search are fruitless, the girl nowhere in sight. He trudges to an opening in the fuselage, his energy fully diminished. Several bodies hang from their seats as Jack rests a hand on the plane, leaning against it. He rubs his other palm over his short hair, all his emotions combining into one distinct sickening feeling of failure. It's a miracle any of them survived the crash, yet all Jack wishes for is death when thinking of his child gone. There's nothing left for him without Maddie, no reason to go on. And if anything happened to her, he'll never forgive himself for not holding on tighter.✦Amid the foliage, a frail, tiny body lay still and alone in the dirt. Maddie stirs awake, everything rushing back to her as she whimpers. She sits up with wide eyes, and immense fear takes over despite the quiet essence of the jungle. Her vision blurs from the tears swelling, getting her heart rate to pick up ever so fast. The leaves sway against the peaceful wind, the birds sing to one another, and time almost seems to slow. All the while, Maddie tries to decide if any of what she sees is even real; this could very well be one of her nightmares, and only one person ever saved her from those. That thought lingers heavily in her mind before she soon realizes its value. She glances in each direction, a small amount of hope simmering in her chest at the thought of her father's arms wrapped around her, but it doesn't take long to recognize she's on her own.A fresh cut announces its presence on her cheek, the open flesh throbbing as she cringes in discomfort. She tastes blood in her mouth and reaches a shaky hand towards the bottom of her lip, feeling its broken skin. Streams of liquid flow down her cheeks, and she allows herself to panic — the calm sort of shock now ebbing away with each new injury she catalogs. She attempts to stand, but a sharp pain travels up her left arm, buckling under her weight and landing her back into the dirt. Inspecting her arm, she only notices a few scraps near her elbow, but on the inside, it stings, and it's far too much for such a young child to bear. Her cries start again, silencing the birds as they study the unfamiliar, noisy creature below.Maddie tugs her hurt limb to her chest, cradling it, and attempts to stand a second time. If this is all a dream, all she needs to do is wake herself up. She closes her eyes, focusing on her new goal, and an entire minute passes before opening them again, finding her situation unchanged. Anxiety reclaims her brain, terrified at the thought of staying trapped in a nightmare forever. Her mind spins into a frenzy as her tears slip out again. She hears whispers from the trees, their once tranquil branches towering over her now like sharp teeth. The girl spins around in a circle, terror capturing her heart, panic swarming every inch of her body, prickling her skin like bee stings. She sits down, pulling her legs to her chest and covering her ears. Where is Daddy? Where is he! She wonders while burying her face between her knees, rocking herself back and forth. Her cries grow louder, hoping her father will hear and wake her from this misery. He always comes for her, always.✧
"Madison!"
Maddie's eyes opened, and she shot up in her bed, terror filling her small chest. Her father pushed the sweaty hair strands from her face, comforting her troubled mind. At this point, the bad dreams were a nightly routine for them. It was rare for Jack to sleep through the night without hearing her screams down the hall, but he didn't mind. Maddie looked at him, fear pouring from her sweat-covered face, and soon enough, the tears came bursting out. She reached, and the man stood up, pulling her into his arms. His shirt soaked up the moisture of her sobs while she buried her face between his neck and shoulder.
"It's okay, baby. I'm here. Daddy's here," Jack says, soothing her with a kiss on her forehead.
A symphony of cries continued from the girl while she trembled, gasping for oxygen. It caused Jack's gut to twist into knots, wishing he could take her pain away. He drew her back to look at him, touching their foreheads together. She always found that comforting, like he was sending a bit of his strength to her through the action.
"Pretty bad one this time, huh?" he asked, and Maddie nodded, more droplets rolling from her cheeks as she sniffed. "About Mommy again?"
There's nothing, no answer or signal, as if she hadn't heard his question at all. Then her lip tightened, facial features scrunched up, attempting to hold back a fresh wave of tears, and she nodded again to answer him. As Jack peered into her wet, green eyes, he sighed and pulled her into another hug. He walked back to the bed and settled her under the covers, following behind as he rested by her side. She snuggled underneath his arm, and his warmth cast a sense of safety around her, his firm grip keeping her close.
"You know, I get scared too sometimes," he said, a slight smirk on his lips. Maddie shook her head almost instantly, believing her father was fearless. She wished she could mimic such bravery, wanting so much to be just like him. "I do," he chuckled, leaning his head against hers. "You know what Daddy does when he's afraid?"
She shook her head again, wiping her nose with the back of her palm.
"I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and count to five. And when I open them, I'm not afraid anymore."
Maddie's eyebrow raised because it sounded too simple and silly, but part of her believed it might work because the truth was there, shining in her father's eyes.
"You want to try?" Jack smiled at his little girl, and she nodded in agreement. "Alright. Close your eyes, Monkey."
Maddie did so, leaning into him as intimidation settled in the pit of her stomach.
"Take a deep breath." Together they inhale the air surrounding them, harmony having retaken the ambiance. "One..." Butterflies stir inside Maddie's stomach. "Two..." Jack breathed in again, and the child followed his lead. "Three... four... five."
✦Maddie pulls away from her knees, opening her eyes and uncovering her ears. While she remains in the jungle, her fear has somewhat dissipated at the thought of her father's simple guidance. The small girl stands up, drawing her hurt arm to her chest again, its sting tapping across her elbow. Perhaps he has not come for a reason, and if that is so, she will need to stay strong. She mulls over a few options in her mind before taking her first steps forward, deciding it's best to find him.She travels into the wilderness, tripping over everything along her path, including her own two feet. The wild branches catch onto her hair, and she swats at the many bugs circling, growing irritated by their harassment. After wandering for what seems like hours to her young mind, she hears rustles coming from some nearby bushes. A stiffness overcomes her body, watching the branches shift in her direction, and she waits, only able to anticipate what's to come. Maybe it's a ginormous beast? Perhaps a werewolf with dark, shaggy fur and a blood-tainted mouth. Her fearful thoughts cause her suspicions to skyrocket, and the child lifts her hands to shield her face, the noise from the bushes coming to a stop. She stands in silence, waiting for the pain of teeth sinking into her skin or claws tearing into her flesh, but nothing happens.Peeking from behind her fingers, Maddie spots a white dog watching her with interest. She lets her guard down, happy to find something other than a monster. The dog tilts his head in curiosity and barks once, getting the girl to flinch in surprise. Is this a wild dog? Will he bite? She wonders while the mutt's tail wags, his tongue lolling as he pants in the oppressive jungle heat. Maddie kneels, holding her hand out for the animal to investigate, and without hesitation, he zooms over to sniff her palm. His smooth fur against her skin is grounding, and the child can't help but wrap her uninjured arm around him. He lathers her face with kisses, the way dogs so often do, and she giggles at the sensation of his wet tongue. It slightly stings the cut on her cheek, but she's not one to complain; it's nice not to be alone.Excited by the girl's sweet laughter, the dog knocks her over and onto the ground, licking her more. The quick motion forces Maddie's injured arm to hit the solid earth, and shots of pain journey through her nerves. She pulls it to her chest, wincing at the sensitivity as she pushes the dog away. He doesn't appear to mind but retreats to the brush he came from, glancing back before bounding into the trees. Maddie stands, almost tripping as she rushes after him, struggling to keep up. The chase doesn't last long — the canine's speed far superior to her own — and she eventually loses sight of him. She stops to catch her breath, hands on her knees, lifting her head to look around. The trees block the sun from reaching her, and their vast size makes her feel so insignificant, so helpless.As she waits there, contemplating the situation, a loud, machine-like shriek suddenly roars in the distance. It stiffens the child to her core, her breath growing shallow, and soon she can hear the trees crumbling, something giant crushing them as it heads in her direction. It then stops, and the jungle falls dead quiet. No birds chirping or bugs whizzing about, not even the wind flowing within the leaves. Yet, despite the absence of the quaking ground, all Maddie's anxieties remain on high alert, so much that she can sense the presence waiting from behind. A shiver rushes along her spine like ice-cold fingers, and she gulps hard while mustering the courage to turn. She cranes her neck, mouth dropping open at what idles a few feet away. Her parents always said that monsters aren't real, simply a figment of fear-driven imagination, but there she stands, looking up at what she can only describe as a monster.Without warning, the beast releases another blood-curdling scream, kicking her instincts into high gear as she runs in the opposite direction. She can hear the splintering of wood again, small chips from the trees falling from above like snowflakes. It's chasing her, hot on Maddie's heels as it lets out another shriek. She glances behind, and a sob breaks from her lips, noticing the creature is inches away from catching up. Just as she turns to look ahead again, her concern breaks, feeling an impact on her face and then the ground against her back. The child's vision goes black for a few seconds, and what feels like two hands grip both her forearms. As her sight returns, she shuts her eyes instead, not wishing to see what's holding her still. She screams, struggling for freedom or waiting for the pain of being torn into pieces. "Whoa! Easy there, Short Round!" A southern drawl says, breaking through the child's fear-addle trance.Maddie forces her eyes open, finding a man with shaggy blonde hair and emerald green eyes kneeling before her. His eyes are soothing and warm, yet the man has a hardness about him as if he's not particularly pleased with the situation. His hands remain on her arms but loosen slightly as the child peeks over her shoulder, seeing that the beast is nowhere in sight. Where did it go? Her body trembles out of exhaustion and terror, and without a second thought, she pushes herself into the stranger's arms, needing the comfort and warmth of another human. She only wishes that safety lasts longer as the man pulls her away in a rough, albeit gentle, manner. "You out here by yourself?"Maddie nods, watching a smirk cross over his lips. "You fall out of the sky too?"The child gives him a blank stare and tilts her head, unsure what he means, which causes him to chuckle. "Were you on the plane that crashed, kid?"Maddie lights up with enthusiasm this time. It reassures her to know she isn't trapped in a nightmare, although, in hindsight, it's a hundred times more terrifying when she recalls the monster chasing her moments ago. The man looks around in search of something, sighing in disappointment before letting go of her arms. "Names Sawyer. I was on that plane too."Sawyer extends his hand in front of her, and Maddie waits, hesitant to give out her trust. After all, he is still a stranger, and her parents told her not to trust strangers. But she does need someone's help; the jungle is far too scary on her own. After some thought, she returns the man's gesture, his palm rough and calloused against her baby-soft skin. Sawyer laughs to himself. "This is when you tell me your name, kid."Maddie continues to gaze at him, quiet as a mouse, and the blonde peers back, baffled by her unending silence. "Alright then. We'll stick with Short Round. How's that?" he asks with a certain charm, and the little girl beams in approval. Sawyer stands and brushes away the dirt from his jeans before looking back down. "I guess y'oughta come with me. We'll find your folks."He wanders ahead a couple of steps, and Maddie quickly rushes forward, capturing his hand. It stops the man in his tracks, unmovable for at least a few seconds. There's no reciprocation in his palm; he doesn't squeeze back or pull away. He stares below, eyes lacking the warmth from before, and soon he tugs his hand out of her grasp. The rejection shocks her, so accustomed to her father's instant acceptance. "Save that clingy crap for someone else, kid, you hear?" he says in a gruff and guarded way, but not exactly mean.Maddie doesn't understand the reaction, confused while trying to read him, but she smiles and nods at his request despite the negative response. The blonde furrows his brow, disturbed by her compliance to his rough nature, which only confuses the young girl more. Her smile melts away almost as quickly as it arrived, wondering if she did something else wrong, but the man simply shakes his head with another sigh, trudging forward again. She follows behind him, keeping her hands to herself this time.✦After ample time searching for a needle and thread, Jack finds himself secluded on the beach, far from the plane and its survivors. It's just as well; he doesn't need or want an audience while patching up his wound. With each step he takes, the world tilts, all the adrenaline and willpower long drained from his system. His emotional strength dwindles the same, doubts growing in his mind the longer Maddie's whereabouts are unknown. Yet, he refuses to lose hope. Even if he has to search every inch of this place, he will find his little girl. He kneels near some trees in the sand, rocks and broken branches scattered around him. Once he removes his torn suit jacket, he tosses it aside. Pain ignites throughout his body as he raises his arm, observing the bloody tear in his shirt. He scoffs at how far the injury is on his side, back too far for him to reach. Asking for someone's help makes him sick, especially since he has no choice. He starts to unbutton his shirt with an irritated sigh, about three buttons down when he hears movement from the jungle. He stands, hesitant. "Hello?" "Howdy!" A man with long, blonde hair appears from the jungle. "Nice day for a plane crash, wouldn't you say?" Jack's tense muscles loosen, letting out a breath. "You usually sneak up on people like that?" "Easy, cowboy! Not here for a peep show, if that's whatchu think." A smirk crosses Sawyer's lips, gesturing at the man's half unbuttoned shirt. Jack looks down, then back up, rolling his eyes. His patience has officially run dry. Worse than that, his adverse reaction seems to delight the blonde. "Oh, relax. Just strollin' through here. Haulin' some precious cargo to the crash site." He turns to yell at the trees, "C'mon, Shorty! Keep up!"Sawyer shows Jack another grin before resuming his path toward the plane, clearly not all that concerned about his friend struggling behind. A scowl overcomes Jack's expression, awaiting whoever's dumb enough to follow this oh-so-charming redneck. He almost turns away too, until she steps through the trees. Maddie. His baby girl stumbles from the shrubs, so frail and beaten by the harsh wilderness. The breath from his aching lungs grows shallow, his heart skips a beat, and whatever frustrated him before doesn't matter anymore.Time slows as their eyes find each other, and an overwhelming amount of emotion washes over Maddie's gut, tears in her eyes. She merely stares at her father's tall, sturdy form, wondering if he is real. A few seconds pass before she races to him, needing to learn the truth for herself. Jack moves forward to meet her halfway, chuckling as she stumbles through the sand. She leaps into his arms, and he spins them around, holding her close. Sparks of pain shoot down her arm with each movement, but she doesn't care, too afraid to let him go. His scent is familiar and comforting, compelling her to burrow into his neck, sobbing that much harder.Jack places her back on the ground, keeping her at arm's length as he kneels to her level. Their cheeks glisten with moisture, and all he can do is gaze into her green eyes. Of course, sooner than later, the doctor in him — or perhaps just the parent — comes through, examining the cut on her cheek and bottom lip. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"Maddie's left arm lifts, pointing to her elbow. He's quick to notice the scrapes, and though it doesn't seem like anything severe, she winces at the slightest touch. She doesn't pull away, trusting her father to fix whatever needs fixing, but the whimper trapped in her throat worries him. "It hurts to move it?"Maddie nods as Jack feels around her elbow, attentive as possible. Luckily, nothing seems broken. "I think it's just a sprain, sweetie. Probably heal in about a week if we take care of it right." He wears a confident smile, and Maddie already feels safer in his presence. "This your daddy, Short Round?"They peer up at the smirking blonde approaching in the distance, and Maddie nods, leaning in to hug her father. Jack kisses her forehead before standing to observe his little girl's savior. He offers his palm for a handshake, thinking it odd how all this played out. Moments ago, Jack had the lowest opinion of this man; now, he seeks to know him better. It's the fear and frustration that had him misjudging this stranger, that's all. His hand is steady as it waits for reciprocation, thrown off when Sawyer snickers at the gesture. Still, the offer remains, and eventually, he accepts. "Thank you," Jack says. "I was so worried about her."Sawyer yanks his hand away and looks out over the glittering ocean, keeping quiet. His eyes sparkle, same as the waves, and Jack can't help but stare. An awkward tension falls between them, and the doctor's confidence gradually descends until Maddie grips his palm, leaning into his side. "Yeah, well," Sawyer says with an impertinent grin, "best get ready to pay up when I come needin' a favor. I don't do hero's work for free." "Excuse me?" Jack isn't sure if it's sarcasm, but something about the comment leaves him uneasy. "Could be waitin' a mighty long time for rescue, so gonna need a few people in my pocket. Call it insurance." His expression radiates with conceit. "And since I went and saved the apple of your eye..." "Let me get this straight," Jack says, that first impression returning. "I'm in your debt because saving a lost little girl isn't something you do out of decency?" He huffs a chuckle in disbelief. "Or, you know, morals?" "Damn straight." There's zero hesitation in Sawyer's answer, baffling Jack further. It's only natural to want to repay the person who saved your flesh and blood, but Jack thinks better against that for someone who demands it. Sawyer turns his sight to Maddie, who appears awfully confused by the situation. He winks at the girl, a wide grin on his face as he notices Jack's jaw clench. "I reckon I'll be seein' you two real soon."As Sawyer leaves them behind, Jack stands completely dazed until Maddie tugs on his sleeve. Her face has gone pale, wide eyes laser-focused on the red stain of his shirt. She waits for an explanation, and her father kneels, smiling at her endearing concern. "It's okay, baby. Daddy just got a little scrape. I'll find someone to help patch it up."She looks over at the retreating figure of the blonde, then back to her father, whose features dissolve from soft happiness to something overly stern. "I don't think so, Monkey. I'll find someone else."Apparently, refusal isn't an option as Maddie violently shakes her head and points at Sawyer. "Madison, no."Maddie spots the disapproval in his eyes, and it almost gets her to back down, but she doesn't. Instead, she takes a step closer and clutches his shoulder with a pleading glance. Her actions pull out a drawn-out, heavy sigh from her father, the man obviously exhausted. He has zero desire for a second conversation with the entitled man, but Maddie seems convinced he's seconds away from bleeding out; that thought alone is enough to make him comply. "Wait!" Jack stands, regret already absorbing beneath his chest. To his surprise, the blonde stops, idle for a moment before he turns to acknowledge him. "I could..." he pauses, trying so very hard to swallow his pride. "I could use a hand." "What's that now?" "I could use a hand stitching up this wound." A sour taste omits in his mouth. Why does it have to be him? Why not anyone else? "I would do it myself; I'm a doctor, but the cut isn't in a very accessible area. So, if you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate the help." "You gone stupid, Doc? What in tarnation makes you think I'm gonna help?"Sure enough, the answer comes rushing forward, standing in front of him, tilting her head with a pout. Maddie isn't sure what their earlier conversation involved, but it's clear now that they hadn't hit it off as she hoped, which leaves her to fill in the gap between them. Despite knowing better, she grabs Sawyer's hand and presents a pair of puppy dog eyes, begging him to reconsider. Sawyer takes one look into those sweet, innocent eyes and immediately regrets it, unable to reject such a beseeching appearance. He mumbles under his breath, "son of a bitch." It’s incredible how fast she has him caving in. "Alright, fine!"Maddie lights up like the fourth of July, dragging him over to her father. Her enthusiasm makes Sawyer feel optimistic, even if he's stumbling unhappily behind. Jack hands him the supplies, grinning with appreciation. "You know how to use—" "I know how t'use a damn needle, Doc!" Sawyer says, appearing insulted until he flashes a charming smirk. "Just take your shirt off before I come to my senses."Jack removes his button-up shirt, each movement accompanied by a cringe. Afterward, he rests his knees in the hot sand, his skin bare and defenseless. Sawyer pours some alcohol onto the cut, and Jack holds back an uncomfortable groan, wanting to shield Maddie from that discomfort. He's entirely vulnerable at that moment, but his daughter's bright smile is worth it. However, soon enough, he cannot hold back the sounds of pain and thinks about ways to send her elsewhere. "Maddie, why don't you find a nice shell that we can give..." Jack glances back at his makeshift medic. "Sawyer," the blonde says, keeping an unbreakable focus on his task. "A shell we can give Sawyer as a thank you."Maddie doesn't need him to ask twice as she dashes off with an unmistakable determination. Jack chuckles at her tiny legs as they struggle to run in the sand, but that joy soon fades, and the pain of his torn flesh getting stitched up resurfaces. He flinches now and again but tries to keep still, mainly to avoid looking weak but for his caretaker's benefit as well. "Cute kid you got there," Sawyer says, breaking the oppressive silence. "She got a name?" "Madison," Jack answers. He isn't sure about small talk with someone he wanted to punch moments ago, but he offers it all the same. "She's dealin' with all this well enough for someone hardly knee-high to a grasshopper. When I found her—" "She was alone?" Jack asks. "She wasn't with you the whole time?" His eyes find his daughter crouching in the sand, curiously prodding at something. "Yeah, she was alone." Sawyer hesitates to say more, sensing the unease. "But the kid wasn't curled up in a ball like you'd expect someone her age to be. Which is exactly my point."Soon Jack's head fills with the many scenarios of her waking up alone. More than anything, he wants to ask her, missing the sound of her sweet voice. Her bravery isn't a surprise, though. While she has many fears, she also has a keen disposition. His father would say, "of course she does! She's a Shephard." But Jack wholeheartedly disagrees with that. He's positive it's a trait from her mother, Haylee. "Yeah, well..." Jack sighs. "The past few months have been rough on us."His words are decadent in sorrow, and it leaves many questions with few answers for Sawyer to ponder. Temptation prods at his mind, urging him to pry further, but he refrains. "Never got your name," Sawyer grins, reverting to his cocky self. "Don't tell me, Clark Kent?" "It's Jack." His answer is plain, almost back to hating the man. He'll not let Sawyer gain satisfaction from poking at him — figurative or literal.After he finishes the stitches, Sawyer sits back and admires his work. It's some of his finest work to date, if he may be so bold. He stares with pride until Jack glimpses behind, evaluating his performance, and his expression is one Sawyer knows all too well. "Ain't gotta look so skeptical, Doc! I know damn well how to patch a man up!"Jack smiles at the bitter sneer directed at him. He can't help but obsess over the medical aspects, not even if the best doctor in the world worked on him. "Sorry," he says, slipping on a clean white shirt he found earlier. "You're right. Thank you, Sawyer."Something shifts in Sawyer's eyes, something Jack didn't see before. He can't place what it is, but it's so visceral that he can't believe he missed it. They both stand and peer at one another for a time before awkwardly staring at the ground. To their relief, Maddie approaches, brimming with enthusiasm as she hands Sawyer what she believes is the perfect shell. It's a thin, cream-colored, cone-shaped shell with pointy ridges circling its surface. Sawyer kneels, impressed, as he turns over the shell in his hands. "It's beautiful, Shorty. Thank you." Such sentimental words passing his lips feel off-putting, but Sawyer can't deny how special the gift is, especially seeing how proud she is of it.Maddie looks at her father's injury, now covered by the clean shirt, and there's a touch of anxiety on her face as she stares at him for reassurance. "I'm fine now, Maddie," Jack chuckles in response to her endearing concern. "All better."That appears to satisfy her, and Sawyer almost topples over when she turns to hug him. He holds his hands up, completely taken back by her immediate affection. After the overall shock passes, he pats her aback with a small laugh. It's a weightless feeling, more than he's felt in years. She gazes up at him, and the warmest smile graces her lips before she lets go, returning to her father. Jack picks her up as Sawyer stands, dusting the sand from his jeans, trying to downplay the blush on his cheeks. He slips the shell into his jean pocket, now ashamed of his earlier behavior. Weakness seeps in, and he quickly straightens his posture to counter the emotion. "Uh," Sawyer's throat clears, "forget what I said before, Doc." Charm and liveliness return to his voice, but it's not as convincing as usual. "Consider the debt paid."Jack furrows his brow but nods in recognition, studying the man as he wanders away. They watch until he disappears in the distance, and Maddie rests her forehead against her father's, searching for that unique strength only he can give. It makes Jack smile, pure happiness radiating throughout him. There are no words to describe how glad he is to have her safe in his arms again.✦
Night descends fast on the sky, and a cool breeze sweeps through the air — a welcome change compared to the daytime humidity. Upon his and Maddie's return to the crash, Jack tended to the many wounded survivors, the worst being a gentleman with shrapnel buried in his stomach. He was beyond grateful when he found a first aid kit, bandaging up Maddie's sprained arm. Worry plagued his mind throughout the day, wondering how long the wait for rescue would be and if the little supplies they possessed would last until then. But, despite his realist nature, he tried not to overthink things and focus only on what he could control.
Multiple fires burn across the beach, keeping their occupants warm as everyone grows more familiar with one another. Jack found a spot by one of those many fires, a woman named Kate keeping him company, and while the two exchange their recollection of the crash, Maddie nuzzles into his chest, sleeping safe and sound under her father's protection.
"She's beautiful," Kate says. "I can't even imagine experiencing a plane crash at her age. She must have been so scared."
"Yeah. I hope it doesn't leave too deep a scar." A mist fills Jack's eyes, wishing he could have guarded her against the day's horrors. "She's been through a lot lately."
He strokes Maddie's hair with all the care in the world, and Kate observes with a softness in her eyes, the same soft regard everyone seems to get when encountering the young father and his child.
"Well, she looks safe now," Kate says with a grin. "You two seem close. She's lucky to have you."
Jack softly chuckles but drops his gaze, unsure how much truth her compliment holds. Many people had said that before but he never truly believed it. He was so nervous when Haylee first told him she was pregnant; it took time for the idea to settle in his mind. He thought about the many ways in which he would fail at parenthood — a shame given how much the man wanted to succeed at it. None of those insecurities matter now, though. As long as Maddie is happy and safe, he's doing something right.
A machine-like screech calls from the wilderness, shattering the serenity of the beach and gaining everyone's undivided attention. Maddie's eyes shoot open, her heart immediately racing at the familiar sound. She arose from the ground, removed from her father's grasp as she fixed her sight on the exotic jungle.
The monster has returned.
Everyone else steps forward, a line of people on the sand waiting for an unknown horror to greet them. Jack stands behind his child, noticing how she's shaking like a leaf as he rests his palm on her shoulder. Sounds of the creature echo around them as it crushes the tree's in its path, veering off to the left. Maddie cowers in sheer terror, and her hands reach back towards her father, begging for his embrace. He obliges, plucking her from the earth and into his grasp. Her arms circle his neck, much too tight as she buries her face into his shoulder and trembles. Jack whispers words of comfort into her ear, rubbing her back while assuring her she's safe. That's all he can do, praying whatever is out there will pass by them, a prayer that's answered moments later when the monster fades in the distance, leaving the survivors fearful and confused.
A man with short blonde hair, covered by the hood of his jacket, takes a step ahead and whispers, "Terrific."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
A repeated whoosh of soothing waves wakes Jack from his surprisingly peaceful rest, unable to recall the last time he slept through the night. He squints at the sunlight illuminating the horizon, reclaiming a blue sky, and it's quite the sight to behold. Maddie wiggles beside him, still sound asleep, causing an unconscious smile to rise upon his cheeks. Some of the group are already awake, busy taking inventory of their limited supplies. Jack has a pile of medication to sort through himself, but locating the cockpit for communication is a far more pressing task. Of course, he'll need to find a way to distract Maddie before he can do anything, and it'll take a miracle to part her from him. With gentle strokes to her hair, Jack wakes his precious daughter from her sleep, taking her on a stroll along the idyllic shoreline. Hand in hand, they savor the warm rays of sunlight while the refreshing ocean breeze tickles their skin. Maddie holds Jack's hand tightly, almost a reminder for him to stay close, and the crisp tidewater washes over her bare feet, her childish giggles filling the air as sand sticks between her toes. It's heartwarming to see her so full of hope and positivity; he can almost pretend they're on vacation at some tropical paradise. Scanning the beach while his child plays joyfully in the water, Jack soon spots Claire, the expectant mother he previously assisted, basking in the sun nearby. In a sudden moment of inspiration, he softly kisses Maddie's head and strides over to greet the woman, who grins and sits up a little at the sight of him. "How are you feeling?" Jack asks, pointing to her stomach. She responds with a smile, glad to know there's a doctor on the island. "Good. You, um. You really helped yesterday," Claire says, rubbing her swollen belly. "I never got the chance to thank you properly." Jack quickly reassures, "Don't mention it. I'm just happy I could help." He casually slips his hands into his pockets while Claire glances at the charming little girl playing nearby. "She's beautiful," Claire says, standing up and walking towards him.Jack's smile grows, having heard that from at least three other people on their flight. Claire stops at his side, both of them glowing at the sight of Maddie's lively endeavors. "Thanks." He glances back at Claire with a soft chuckle before adding, "That trait definitely comes from her mother, not from me." "Where is her mother?" Claire says, observing him closely. Upon mentioning the topic, Jack's demeanor shifts from relaxed to uneasy, his gaze dropping to the ground. She senses the tension in his silence, realizing her curiosity has gone too far. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... it's none of my business." "It's okay," he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. "I actually wanted to ask you a favor." "Absolutely!" Claire's face lights up. "What is it?" "I was wondering if you could look after Maddie for me? A few of us are going—" "I'd love to keep an eye on her!" She beams warmly.As she observes Jack's expression, she can't help but notice a certain apprehension in his smile. His behavior seems somewhat preoccupied as he shifts his weight from side to side and nervously runs his hand through his hair. It's as if there's something on his mind that he's struggling to communicate. "There's..." the man sighs, "there's more, Claire." His eyes flicker upwards, a glistening of tears visible in their depths. "Maddie has separation anxiety. So, this is really more of a diversion. If she realizes I'm not here, she'll have a panic attack and go searching for me." "Oh," Claire says, a mix of empathy and hesitation apparent in her features as she takes a moment to consider her concerns. Jack patiently awaits a polite refusal, but to his surprise, the woman smiles again, briefly looking at her belly before gazing back at him. "No need to worry, Jack. I'll keep her occupied until you get back."At length, Jack expresses his gratitude, and the two of them make their way over to Maddie. Jack scoops her up from the sand and cradles her in his arms, prompting the child to gaze at him curiously. "This is Claire, Maddie," Jack says. "How do you feel about spending a little time with her today?"Maddie's disapproval is unmistakable as she vigorously shakes her head, maintaining close proximity to her father. He responds with a weary sigh, expecting as much, and turns to Claire for assistance. "Oh! Well," she stutters, struggling to find the right words. "You know, I'm soon going to have a baby of my own, and..." She stops, thinking of a good reason that might comfort the young girl when she spots the shell in Maddie's hand. "And I... I thought it would be nice to collect some shells for him!" Claire grins, realizing she has just referred to her unborn child as a boy. "Your dad mentioned that you're quite good at that. Would you be willing to help me find some?"While her improvised story seems to please Jack, who nods along in agreement, it does little to persuade Maddie. The child shakes her head again, wrapping her arms around her father's neck as if afraid he'll force her to go. Claire crosses her arms and frowns, feeling somewhat hurt by the quick rejection, even if she understands it's nothing personal. With a faint grin, Jack expresses his gratitude for her efforts. "Thanks for trying." "Sure," Claire says, attempting to stay upbeat.He turns and walks off with Maddie still in his arms, feeling his options grow more limited by the second. They're only a few paces away when Claire gasps loudly from behind, causing Jack to whirl around. He sees the woman clutching her stomach and places Maddie down before jogging back to her side. "What is it?" He asks. "Are you okay?" Maddie trails behind the man, equally alarmed by Claire's actions. "Yes!" She exclaims with pure joy. "I'm Wonderful! The baby just kicked!"Claire presses Jack's hand gently against her stomach, excitedly waiting for another kick beneath the skin. Sure enough, Jack feels a light thump under his palm, making him grin alongside the mother-to-be. All the while, Maddie watches the two of them with a puzzled expression, wondering what all the fuss is about. With Jack's help, Claire sits on the soft sand and reaches her hand out. Maddie hesitates for some time, numerous questions and thoughts racing through her mind, but eventually, her curiosity wins out, and she timidly accepts Claire's hand, which she places on her stomach. Nothing happens for a second or two, leaving the child skeptical again until a sudden bump hits her palm. Maddie tugs away in one quick motion, her heart racing with fascination. She touches Claire's stomach a second time, and another kick taps on her tiny hand. This time, she can't help but giggle, amazed that a child much like herself is growing just beneath the surface.Maddie glances towards the sandy shore and considers Claire's earlier request before eagerly taking hold of the woman's wrist, attempting to pull her forward. Jack lends a hand to help Claire up and watches as his daughter leads her toward the water — presumably where Maddie believes they'll find an abundance of beautiful seashells. Claire beams back at him, silently mouthing good luck. "Stay with her, Maddie!" he calls out, his fatherly concern now apparent. "Don't wander off!"✦As the afternoon settled in the sky, Jack, Kate, and a shorter blonde man named Charlie embark on a long journey to reach the cockpit. It was a rough journey, and Jack expected as much; what he didn't expect was Charlie singing throughout most of the trek. At that point, he regretted letting anyone tag along. Kate, on the other hand, took somewhat of a shine to the funny singing fellow. She eventually recognized him from his former band, Drive Shaft, which drove an immediate bond between them. It made them irritatingly slow, so slow that Jack had to urge them to pick up the pace multiple times. He would rather get back to Maddie sooner than later.After an hour or so, they finally reached their destination, completely drained. And while they did find the transceiver, getting a signal was another matter. On top of that, the missing Pilot was very much alive and well — or, as well as one can be after a plane crash. Unfortunately, his last moments were all too soon, as the unknown island beast ripped him apart not long after their arrival. Though the creature's form is still a mystery, it's intent to harm was becoming quite apparent.Upon their return, a few people surround them, inquiring about the details of their trek. And while Jack has no particularly good news, he assures them everything went well. It's a positive note for all of them, one which soon gets disrupted by a scuffle in the distance. Jack and the group rush over to investigate, finding Sawyer and an Iraqi man named Sayid throwing punches at each other. A crowd surrounded the two like a fight broken out in a schoolyard. In a fit of rage, Sawyer hurls a pile of sand at Sayid's face, prompting Jack to intervene and restrain him while Michael steps in to do the same for Sayid. Jack isn't surprised by the altercation, knowing that Sawyer likely started it. Apparently, he accused Sayid of being a terrorist after Michael discovered handcuffs in the jungle. Kate steps up, breaking up the fight with a single word. "Stop!" Everyone looks at her, leaving only the sound of waves crashing against the shore. "We found the transceiver, but it's not working. Can anybody help?" A long silence lingers in the air, everyone baffled by the situation. After all, a majority of the survivors are ordinary five to nine working-class civilians; fixing a broken communication device is unlikely to be found on anyone's resume. "Yes," Sayid says, still trying to catch his breath. "I might be able to." "Oh, yeah, let's trust this guy!" Sawyer says, pushing Jack off him and scoffing at everyone's instant acceptance. Hurley, a man with a large waist and curly hair to his shoulders, gives Sawyer a bothered glance but tries to maintain his composure. "We're all in this together, man. Let's treat each other with a little resp—" "Shut up, Lardo!" Sawyer snaps, and a hurt expression crosses Hurley's face. "Hey!" Jack steps in front of Sawyer, leaving little space between them as he asserts dominance. "Give it a break." His aggressive stance seems to do the trick as Sawyer backs down without a fight. "Whatever you say, Doc," Sawyer scowls. "You're the hero."As the blonde walks off, Jack takes the jab toward his ego in strides, realizing that it's likely just a way for Sawyer to save face. It doesn't bother him in the slightest. He's encountered men like Sawyer in the past; they thrive on getting under people's skin. Besides, Jack has far more important things to focus on — more like someone more important. And with that thought in mind, Jack changes into a clean shirt and sets out to find his child. Soon enough, though, Hurley catches up to him in a panicked state, going on about Jack's most critical patient, the man with shrapnel embedded in his stomach, and that it was of utmost importance that he check on him. "Dude, seriously! I've been watching him, and I'm pretty sure he stopped breathing!" Hurley says, trying to keep up with the doctor's brisk pace.Jack stops with a sigh and rubs his forehead. He has come to know Hurley as a bit of a worrier, but what kind of doctor would he be if he didn't err on the side of caution? He waits a few seconds before giving a nod and heads off for a quick check-in alongside Hurley.On arrival, Jack kneels to get a better look at the wounded man, studying him with a practiced eye. As he suspected, nothing has changed, not even positively. He hesitates as Hurley looks at him wide-eyed, waiting for a report. Jack was never very well trained when it came to bedside manners, not with patients or people, for that matter. Often times he wanted to tell people the facts, no matter how brutal. But Hurley's just trying to help, so he can't fault the man for being overly cautious. "He's doing the same as before, Hurley," Jack says, restraining his impatient tone. "Still breathing… well, to the best of his ability, anyway." "Oh." Hurley's face reddens with embarrassment. "I just thought…" he pauses before releasing a long sigh. "Sorry, dude." "You did good, Hurley. You're looking out for people. Just dial back some on the panic attacks," Jack slightly chuckles. Hurley smiles. "Right. I can do that." "Jack!" a woman's voice calls from behind.Jack turns to see Claire and Maddie, hand in hand, and he quickly covers the patient's injury, thinking it might frighten Maddie. He looks up again, watching his little girl sprint in his direction. She clasps her arms around her father's neck with a smile that could light up the world; it brightens his every day. He wraps his arms around her in return, laughing as he rocks her from side to side. "There's my girl. I was looking everywhere for you." He kisses her cheek and pulls her back to look at him. "Did you have a good time with Claire?" Maddie nods with enthusiasm, turning to walk back toward Claire. She reaches up, silently asking for the shell-filled plastic cup in her hands, and the woman gladly obliges. With a wide grin, Maddie runs over to her father, showing him all the treasures she discovered. "These are beautiful, Maddie," Jack says as he delicately sifts through them. The look of pride on her face fills him with joy, realizing the immense value his words hold for her.Maddie doesn't linger for too long. Despite Jack's effusive praise, she hurries to Hurley, and he's more than happy to engage with the child. Most of the survivors are the same when it comes to interacting with Maddie. There's something about her, something that each person she meets connects to. "Dude! These are awesome!" Hurley says, taking the cup to investigate the intricate shells more closely.Jack chuckles as the large man sits on the sand with Maddie, sharing his excitement over her findings. He turns to Claire, who approaches his side, unable to hold back her merriment either. "I'm impressed," Jack says. "She looks happy. I guess it went well?" "She did great, Jack. We walked the beach looking for shells all afternoon," Claire says, smiling as she observes Maddie and Hurley. "She seemed very focused and determined, which is remarkable for her age." A bright glow overcomes Jack's cheeks at such high praise toward his child. He's already well aware of her strengths, of course, but hearing others dote over her, too, makes him even more proud. As he smiles to himself, Claire looks at him with a curious gaze. "Can she talk?"It's such a simple question, yet its answer seems far more complex. And despite Jack's best efforts to suppress the sadness slowly consuming him, he can't help but feel a twinge of pain in his chest while watching Maddie laugh with Hurley. "Yeah," Jack says with some hesitation. "Yeah, she can talk. But she hasn't spoken in four months." His response takes Claire aback, and her lips part with a slight gasp. "Oh my gosh… I'm… I'm so sorry, Jack. That's awful." While a swarm of more questions enter her mind, she doesn't feel it's her place to ask anything further. They had known each other for less than twenty-four hours, and he didn't appear keen on the conversation.Jack gratefully acknowledges Claire's sympathy with a warm smile and a nod of his head. Although it's difficult to convey his sorrow, being in Claire's company is a refreshing change. He never anticipated that Maddie would take such a liking to her, but it's a pleasant surprise nonetheless.✧
Jack sped down the hallway of the elementary school, and it seemed to go on forever. He observed each door number, looking for the correct one. He replayed the message from Maddie's principal in his mind. The woman was vague about why she wished to speak, only saying it was in his daughter's best interest. The whole situation was somewhat unusual as Maddie never got into trouble. And it couldn't have anything to do with her grades.
Almost a year prior, Maddie's preschool requested the child take an IQ test. She had often acted uninterested in class as if she didn't understand, causing her teachers to worry. But what they saw as a negative meant the exact opposite. The results showed her IQ as above average for a child her age. It explained her lack of investment in learning what she already comprehended. Jack couldn't have been more proud to hear this, to know his baby was ahead of her time. Her school recommended skipping ahead to elementary, and she only excelled from there. So what information was so urgent?
He located the correct door and hurried inside, observing his surroundings upon entry. It appeared to be a waiting room with some chairs sitting in front of a secretary's desk. Maddie jumped from her seat, rushing into his embrace. He smiled but became anxious when she avoided his gaze, fiddling with his tie instead.
"Hey, Monkey, is everything okay?" The child prevailed in her distraction, focusing harder on the piece of clothing in hand.
"Everything's fine, Mr. Shephard." An older woman with red hair and haunting eyes entered the room.
Jack had never met the woman before now, as Maddie's school affairs were typically something Haylee maintained. However, he knew enough to get a clear picture of her personality. Haylee vented many times about how stuck up and demanding she was for an elementary school. And meeting the woman now, it's the exact vibe he got from her.
The brunette looked back to his daughter, who remained distracted with his tie, trying to escape the situation.
"Please, if you'll both step into my office, we can begin." She gestured behind her to the open door.
Jack offered a weary grin before strolling by her with Maddie in hand. Her office was small, but the expensive furniture made up for what it lacked in size. There stood a dense wooden desk with two red leather chairs in front of it—reminding him of his father's office. He placed his child on a chair before resting on the other. Maddie sank into herself, concentrating on her shoes as she yearned to be anywhere else.
"Posture is important, Madison. Sit up," the woman said as she sat at her desk.
Maddie sat up but continued to gaze at the ground, intimidated by her principal. Jack snickered, disturbed by the woman's forceful remarks. She straightened the pencils lying in a neat row on her desk, glancing up with an almost fake grin.
"Mr. Shepard, I'm Principal Lark. I'd like to inform you of the way I run this school. That is, seeing how we've not had the pleasure of meeting," she said, folding her hands in front of her. "Here at Oakwood Private Elementary, every child is essential. We favor no student for any reason." She noted his perplexed expression and advanced with confidence. "I'm aware a traumatic... event took place, which has resulted in Maddie's refusal to speak."
Jack glanced at Maddie, noticing droplets form in her eyes due to the woman's words. It broke his heart, and it took everything inside him to remain civil.
"I attended one of her classes, and during the lesson, Maddie answered a question by writing it on a piece of paper. I'm disappointed to report her teacher catered to this behavior."
Jack's expression scrunched up, riddled with confusion. It sounded ridiculous to fuse over something so delicate.
"Um... okay. Was the answer wrong?" Jack asked, and a flash of surprise entered Lark's profile, anticipating a different response.
"Excuse me?" She questioned.
"The answer to the question, was it wrong?" he repeated with a stern yet curious disposition.
"No..." Lark's skin turned a light shade of red, agitated by his unexpected reprisal. "No, it wasn't wrong. That's beside the point."
"Oh, good! So, you're going to tell me the point," Jack said, mocking her already flustered reaction. "I was starting to think there wasn't one."
Haylee's hatred for the woman made so much more sense now. She was cruel and arrogant, and Jack felt no shame for his aggression. Lark produced a superficial laugh, striving to keep her dignity intact. She'd grown accustomed to dealing with more submissive parents.
"The point, Mr. Shephard, is Madison has become an imbalance to her classroom." Lark glared at Maddie as if she were an abomination, and the child took every word to heart. "Her teacher is putting more attention on her because of her misfortune. I will not stand for it! I advise you to discipline her out of this childish phase!"
"Her misfortune!" Jack said with an uneasy laugh. "Are you kidding me?"
The woman had crossed the line. Every word out of her mouth was outlandish, and Jack wouldn't let her continue to insult his baby. He looked at Maddie, now wishing she hadn't been present for the conversation. But he was sure Lark already carved into her before his arrival.
"Sweetie, go on back into the waiting room, okay? I'll be out there soon."
"You will do no such thing, Madison!" Lark said, staring Maddie down like a bloodhound.
Maddie wavered in doubt, worried the woman would attack her if she moved. She peered up to her father for reassurance, and Jack smiled, motioning his head to the door. It's all the encouragement she needed as she rushed out of the room. Lark gawked at the child's disregard for her authority, and once the door closed, Jack turned to the woman in disgust.
"Listen, It's clear you believe you have a better understanding of my daughter's needs than I do. But let me remind you, I'm her parent. And to be honest, it shocks me to see how much fear and shame you've distilled into a defenseless little girl!" Jack said, working to maintain his patience. "Furthermore, I don't see an issue with Maddie not talking given everything she's been through. Nor how that's any of your business."
"She makes the other students feel less important! Your daughter isn't special, Mr. Shephard!"
"So, you think all children are important except for Maddie?"
"That's not what I said! How do you expect her to learn if you continue to shelter her like this?"
Jack shot from his seat and slammed his fist on the desk.
"She's five-years-old, damn it!" Lark flinched and shrunk into her seat towards his sudden outburst. "You're aware her IQ is above average?" Jack shuffled in place, shaking his head with displeasure. "Maddie is smarter than half the kids in her class! So, to answer your question, I'm not worried about Maddie's ability to learn at all!" The woman sat still as Jack's candid points made her feel shallow. "And all due respect, but I didn't realize I was paying 10,000 dollars a year to have my child bullied, and by an adult no less." Everything inside urged him to tear down her insufferable ego, but he checked himself. "But, I assure you, today is Maddie's last day here."
He gave one last furious scowl and turned to leave, slamming the door shut behind him.
✦After obtaining the transceiver, Sayid suggests higher ground to help boost the signal. But that means another long trek, and Jack needs to focus on his dying patient. The man can't survive much longer with the metal inside him, which leaves only one option—removing it. So he places the radio dilemma into the other's hands. Sayid, Charlie, Kate, Boone, and Shannon; he even saw Sawyer tag along.Hurley offered his help in getting supplies for the extraction, and Jack couldn't express enough appreciation for the extra pair of hands, no matter how inexperienced. He disinfects the shaving blade and instructs Hurley to hold down their patient. He grows nervous, creating a list in his mind of everything that can go wrong. It seems wise to prepare for any outcome, given all the bad luck endured over the past few days. He scans the area to find Maddie, spotting her a little way off drawing in the sand. She's much closer to the jungle than he likes, but at least she listened when he told her not to wander far. The doctor forces those anxieties aside to concentrate on his task, confident that Maddie is safe enough.Maddie holds the large stick and draws the dog from the jungle. She can't help wonder if he's okay as she stares into the trees, almost expecting the mutt's presence. Yet it's not a dog that catches her eyes; it's the sight of her grandfather. Excitement and uncertainty overwhelm the girl's senses as she rises from the soft sand. It doesn't make sense. Her father told her the man had died in Australia, so how's he standing here now? There's no way she misunderstood him. She'll never forget the way he shattered while delivering such news. Still, the entity before her resembles her grandfather without a doubt; she's positive it's him.The older man beams at her from afar before wandering into the dense foliage. Maddie takes a step ahead, ready to follow until she recalls her father's instructions to stay put. She looks back to see the man placing clean gauze on his patient's injury. He has so much on his plate, and she doesn't want to bother him. But running off on her own doesn't seem like a smart idea either. Christian is almost out of sight when she looks to the jungle again, and Maddie's interest wins over. She moves forward to follow, thinking she has a good reason to disobey her father this one time.✦Maddie walks within the jungle, doing her best to keep up with her grandfather. The further they venture, the more she doubts her decision to leave the beach. A regret that triples when losing sight of him altogether. She gazes around the jungle in hopes of spotting him again, but there's nothing. Maddie can't help but imagine her father's fury towards her disappearance. All the while, the girl attempts not to panic over her current predicament.A low growl comes from the bushes to her right, and she turns with a gasp of fear. Something's coming her way, parting the grass as it walks forward. A giant white bear steps from the bright foliage, its fur smeared in mud, fangs dripping with spit and blood. Maddie's pulse drops, her body freezing as she surveys the creature. A roar erupts from the beast before it springs ahead, and the girl runs in the opposite direction. She cries at each thunderous roar, the power of it vibrating her bones. Exhaustion consumes her, and she trips crashing into the dirt with a thud.The child peers back and sees the bear closing in. She curls into a ball, covering her face as she braces for immense pain. Instead, the sound of a gun goes off several times until the fearsome animal crashes before her feet. Relief claims her features as she looks behind to spot Sawyer standing a few steps back. He lowers the gun in hand, and the members of his group appear from the trees."Maddie!" Kate rushes to help the child stand. "Are you okay?" She kneels before her and searches for injuries. Maddie's breathing is frantic, but her expression remains blank."She's fine," Sawyer says with amusement. "Got ourselves a little Tarzan here."Kate glares at him, finding nothing funny about the situation. She gestures to the gun with suspicion."Where did that come from?" she asks."I got it off one of the bodies," Sawyer answers, looking less amused by her accusing question."One of the bodies?" Sayid says, unconvinced as he steps in front of him."Yeah, one of the bodies.""People don't carry guns on planes," Shannon says, crossing her arms and eyeing him like he's a moron."They do if they're a U.S. Marshal, Sweetcheeks. There was one on the plane." "How do you know that?" Kate asks, and Sawyer senses a hint of panic in the woman's voice."Saw a guy layin' there with an ankle holster, so I took the gun. Thought it might come in handy. Hell of a good thing too, or we'd be bringin' the Doc his kid's dead body!"Maddie folds her arms in shame, staring at her feet as they scuffle in the dirt."So why do you think he's a Marshal?" Kate asks again."Because he had a clip-on badge. I took that too. Thought it was cool.""I know who you are," Sayid says. "You're the prisoner.""I'm what?" Sawyer asks dumbfounded by the Iraqi's odd logic."You found a gun on a U.S. Marshal?" Sayid says with undeniable suspicion. "Yes, I believe you did. You knew where it was because you're the one he was bringing back to the states!" Sawyer chuckles and rolls his eyes towards the man's dramatic theory. "Those handcuffs were on you; that's how you knew there was a gun!""Piss off!" Sawyer says with ease, unafraid of the outrageous claims against him."That's who you are, you son of a bitch!" Sayid moves ahead with aggression, though the blonde doesn't flinch."Be as suspicious of me, as I am of you."Sawyer feels the gun slip from his hand and turns to watch Kate point it at him as she trembles. Maddie takes a step forward in fear but stops as Boone grabs her, the man crouching and drawing her close."Does anyone know how to use a gun?" Kate asks. It's too innocent, and Sawyer smirks at her skilled performance. "I wanna take it apart."The soldier instructs the woman as she fumbles with taking apart the weapon. Afterward, she hands the bullet case to Sayid and the empty gun to Charlie."Guys," Boone says after a moment of silence. "I think this is a polar bear."They all turn to focus on the deceased animal, confusion sinking into the atmosphere. The group bickers amongst one another, tossing ideas around the peculiar situation. But mostly, they embrace each other's bewilderment."Someone should probably take the Kiddo back then, huh?" Charlie says, gazing at the others."I'll take her," Kate says, reaching her hand out to Maddie. "Come on, honey."Maddie furrows her brow in disapproval, breaking from Boone's hold to run to Sawyer. She grips the blonde's hand and leans into his side. The man chuckles, glimpsing at Kate with a wide smirk."Guess she doesn't want to go with you, Freckles." Kate glances into the distance, cheeks growing red from embarrassment. "I'll take her back. I'm 'bout done with this safari anyway."Maddie lights up at the touch of his palm tightening around hers, and the two stroll into the trees. Tears cloud Kate's vision as she watches them disappear into the distance, sinking under the weight of rejection.✦"Maddie!" Jack calls as he wanders the camp. "Madison!"He didn't notice she'd gone missing until an hour into his surgery, and it takes everything inside of him to stay calm. How far can she get on her own? Claire extended her help in finding the child, doing her best to support him. However, it doesn't do him any good as he still feels like the worst parent in the world. The man got so preoccupied with everything else demanding his attention. But he never would have predicted Maddie running off as the girl hardly ever engages in rebellious behavior.Jack pulls a piece of paper from his pocket, observing the mugshot of Kate that resides on its wrinkled surface. It shocked him to find out what lay beneath the soft exterior she put on. He didn't want to believe it, but the injured man insisted the woman was dangerous. After Jack removed the shrapnel, the man awoke in a panic, repeating the same question—where is she? Jack didn't know what to think other than him being delusional due to the fever and pain. Until the man demanded he search his jacket pocket, and there Jack found the mysterious mugshot. He can't understand how someone as ordinary as Kate is a hardened criminal."Did you find her?" Claire asks as she approaches from behind, and Jack shoves the paper back into his pocket."No," Jack says, discouraged by his lack of progress.The sun hovers on the horizon, night progressing fast, and the man's anxieties increase tenfold."Jack, look!" Claire says, pointing towards the edge of the jungle. Sawyer steps from the trees with Maddie clutching his hand."Thank God," Jack says under his breath before rushing towards them, Claire waddling behind. He drops to his knees and encompasses his arms around Maddie. "I told you not to run off!" He tugs her away to examine the cuts on her face and limbs. "What the hell happened?""Polar bear happened, Doc," Sawyer says, earning himself a scowl of annoyance."A polar bear? Are you kidding me?""Nope. A polar bear chased her down, but it's all good 'cause yours truly..." the blonde pointed to himself, "gunned it down before it got ugly." He smirks with tremendous pride. "Savin' the apple of your eye yet again."Jack gawks at the man's theatrics and turns his attention back to Maddie."Maddie, is that true?"Maddie glances at her feet, embarrassed as she nods to confirm the situation. A lengthy sigh of relief and frustration exits Jack's nose, lifting her chin to gain her focus. Her eyes fill with liquid, and all he wants is to ask why she ventured off alone. But he knows he'll get no answer. "Claire, do you mind getting her cleaned up?" Jack asks with a soft smile."Of course." Claire holds out her hand, warmly peering at the child. "Come on, Maddie." Maddie responds without delay, and the two of them head back towards camp. She glances behind to see defeat in her father's expression, feeling terrible for disobeying him."Where did you get the gun, Sawyer?" Jack asks with frustration, standing up in front of him.The blonde laughs and rolls his eyes. "So, straight into the scoldin' then, huh?" No thank you or nothin'?"Jack sees him as a wild card, and honestly, Sawyer prefers it that way."Okay, thank you," Jack says with zero emotion. He doesn't feel the need to thank Sawyer, not with all the questions on his mind about the man's intentions. Sawyer expects as much and shakes his head, smirking in amusement."I got it off one of the body's, U.S. Marshal, to be exact." The blonde awaits more allegations towards his confession, but they never come. Jack simply exhales before staring out towards the ocean in silence. "Wait... Do you..." Sawyer's face scrunches up as he tries to find the right words. "Do you know who the prisoner is?""The prisoner?" Jack asks as if he is clueless. "What are you talking about, Sawyer? What prisoner?""Don't gimme that horse shit! You know what I'm talkin' 'bout! Otherwise, you'd be accusin' me the same as everyone else!" Sawyer says, confident that Jack is holding out on him. "I reckon it's 'cause you already know who Dirty Harry over there had in those handcuffs."It's a minor detail he avoided telling the others during their game of twenty questions. Sawyer remembers the man he took the gun from and considers it as privileged information. The same man who is now clinging to dear life as they speak, which only made his current theory on Jack more accurate.Even though he's right, Jack still can't help but grow irritated with the blonde's assumptions. A thought crosses his mind as he realizes the others saw Sawyer with the gun. They all would have had questions, which meant they learned of the Marshal too. He wonders how Kate feels with so much private information drifting to the surface. If she's as dangerous as the Marshal implied, keeping her identity a secret would be a top priority."Seriously, Sawyer, what the hell are you talking about?" Jack says with a coy smirk. The blonde chuckles and sways his head in disbelief. It's curious for Jack to keep a tight hold on such information, but he respects him for standing his ground."Fine, don't tell me. I get it, Doc." Silence captures both of them as they watch the sunset colors transition. "But tell me this, somethin' wrong with the kid's voice?""What?" Jack asks, jarred by the blonde's interest in Maddie's well being."Kid almost got mauled by a bear, yet she ain't got nothing to say 'bout it."The question had been popular amongst the survivors, and it's a simple answer. But Jack doesn't fancy the idea of sharing his personal life with strangers. Or perhaps that's an excuse as the truth is far too painful to reveal."No, there's nothing wrong with her voice. Maddie can speak fine, she just..." His chest tightens as his distrusting nature screams to keep quiet. "Her mother... died four months ago, and she hasn't talked since then."Shock claims Sawyer's features, questioning why Jack would share something so personal with him. His heart sinks as he reaches in his pocket, fiddling with the shell Maddie gifted him. He can relate to the child's response to such a tragedy. "I'm sorry, Jack," Sawyer says, and not one hint of sarcasm lingers in his voice. He means it with all his heart, feeling for the man and his child. "One thing to lose the woman you love, but when she's also the mother of your child..." He sighs and drops his shoulders in despair. "Hell, sure that hurts a million times more."Sympathy is the last thing Jack expects from Sawyer. He never took the man for being empathetic. The conversation is foreign for both of them, but there's something real about it. For a brief moment, their fight for control becomes no more than background noise."Thanks for taking care of Maddie, Sawyer." The blonde raises an eyebrow, and a playful smile creeps onto his lips, urging the man to continue. "Again," Jack says, struggling to contain his laughter. "Thanks for saving her again.""Now, ain't that sweet of you, Doc," Sawyer says with sarcastic humor. They study each other for a time before Sawyer coughs, moving away from Jack's side. "Guess you best be gettin' back." The blonde awkwardly brushes his neck, wandering back to his sleeping area. "But take it easy on the kid, yeah? I'm sure she had a good reason for runnin' off.""I'll try." Jack shuffles in place and chuckles, watching Sawyer tread into the distance."Oh, and, Doc." Sawyer turns back and peers at the brunette with a reassuring grin. "Wouldn't worry too much. She'll talk when she's ready."Confidence sinks into Jack's chest as he returns the smile, nodding in appreciation. Sawyer proceeds on his way, leaving the man alone with his thoughts.Expressing himself proved more helpful than Jack thought it ever could. He sighs, content with the way things played out between him and Sawyer—albeit shocked. All the same, for the first time since Haylee's death, the man feels validated in his decision. He's continuously been told by others to push Maddie into talking, but he doesn't agree with that approach. She needs time, not shame, or a forceful hand. To hear someone agree with him for once gives him hope, hope that things can and will get better.✧
Jack stepped inside his parent's house, and Maddie followed behind. The visit with Principal Lark repeated in his mind, similar to a sour taste lingering in his mouth. He shut the door, and Maddie removed her backpack, placing it on the ground.
"Don't get too comfortable, sweetie. We're not going to stay long," Jack said, and the girl responded with a smile.
"Oh, wonderful!" Both of them gazed up to see Margo stroll into the room. "I'd started to think you weren't coming."
The woman crouched with open arms, and Maddie ran to her, giggling as the woman kissed her cheeks. Jack smiled, happy to see genuine love given after the hard day Maddie endured.
"You find those school files, Mom?" Jack asked, trying not to sound impatient, and Margo presented him with a confident nod.
"Is my favorite granddaughter here?" A voice called from down the hallway, and Maddie lit up with happiness. Christian entered the room, stumbling backward as the girl jumped into his arms. "Easy there, Kiddo. I'm not as young as your dad," he said, chuckling with a wide grin.
Maddie shared a strong fondness for Christian, overjoyed any time they visited his parents. The older man felt the same, spoiling her any chance he got. Their relationship confused Jack at times, and Haylee had expressed how it hurt him on some level. He never got that warm affection from Christian as a child, not in the same way.
The child freed her grandfather and peered into his vivid blue eyes. She saw a mischievous curiosity enter them.
"You been studying?" Christian asked, and Maddie eagerly nodded.
"Dad," Jack said with a faint sigh. "We don't have time."
Christian offered his son a placid expression of objection.
"Now, Jack, there's always time. Right, Kiddo?" He glanced at Maddie, who grinned as he carried her back to his office.
Jack chuckled, shaking his head before following his mother to the living room. She handed him a large file filled with Maddie's school records. Haylee was in the process of a school transfer, and the man now understood why. Margo insisted on enrolling Maddie into Jack's former school, assuring his wife of its friendly atmosphere. Yet Jack himself didn't have the fondest memories of those times.
"I don't understand why you won't enroll her in your old school, Jack." Margo folded her arms to display her disappointment.
"Because I'd rather find someplace else, Mom." Jack scanned the files in hand, paying little attention to his mother's complaints.
"It's an excellent school, and she could learn so much there. Haylee was excited—"
"Well, Haylee's not here!" Jack's eyes flashed a warning sign. The woman winced at the blunt reaction, wringing her hands together in discomfort.
Margo and Christian had quickly figured out that speaking to Jack about Haylee was ill-advised. He favored ignorance over reality, growing irritable if anyone sought to pull the wool from his eyes.
Margo strenuously swallowed before finding her voice again.
"How are you doing, Jack?"
"I'm fine," he said while avoiding her gaze, proceeding to study the school files in hand.
"Jack, me and your father, we worry about you and Maddie all the time." She stepped closer to touch his arm. "Perhaps you should reconsider selling the house? Move back home with us for a little while? Start fresh."
Jack shifted with unease and glared at his mother. He understood what those words meant. It implied he couldn't take care of Maddie and grieve all at once. Nobody ever gave him credit for his strength, no one except the woman whose body was now seven feet underground. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought, closing the file and pulling away.
"I'll let you know what school I pick." He marched from the room, leaving Margo defeated in her attempts to connect with him.
The man strolled to his father's office with haste, eager to take his daughter and go. He loved his parents, but they always made him feel out of control in his emotions. Jack peeked into his father's office, seeing Maddie on Christian's lap as they scanned a book.
Educating Maddie in the medical field had become one of his father's relentless intentions. It didn't shock Jack in the slightest. The family business and all that ridiculous nonsense. But Maddie cherished it. She enjoyed learning and progressed well in everything. If Jack were honest with himself, becoming a doctor would be a great career for her one day. On the other hand, he never wanted her to feel forced into that life like him.
"Let's see," Christian said with a small hum. "Where are the Metatarsal bones?" Maddie studied the picture of the human skeleton, her mouth twisting as she sat in deep thought. She pointed to the foot, and the older man chuckled. "You really have been studying, huh?" He tickled her sides, making the child squirm and giggle. "Has your dad been helping you?" She nodded and beamed with pride as Christian pulled her closer. "You know, Kiddo, I'm sure your dad misses hearing you talk. We all do."
Maddie's smile faded, taken back by the subject change. She broke eye contact as doubt crept into her mind, her hands fidgeting with the book pages. Jack stepped into the room, sensing her need for rescue.
"Maddie," Jack said, strolling in with confidence. They both looked up to acknowledge him, and the girl gave a slight smile. "Go on and say goodbye to Grandma before we go."
Christian kissed Maddie's forehead as she leaned in to hug him, hopping from his lap to do as her father instructed. The two men remained alone, their eyes locking for a moment, making Jack uneasy. He awkwardly grinned before turning to leave.
"Jack," Christian said as he stood and approached his son. "I wasn't pushing. I just think it's good to encourage her sometimes."
"It's only been a few weeks, Dad," Jack said, peering at him with intolerance.
"I know things are rough on both of you, Son, and I can't imagine what you are dealing with right now." Christian clutched Jack's shoulder with reassurance. "But you have an extraordinarily gifted child, and if you shelter her too much—"
"I'm not sheltering her! Why do people keep saying that?" Jack said with a stiff demeanor. "Maybe you think that's how I should handle this, Dad, but I will not do to Maddie what you did to me!"
"This isn't about that," Christian said with desperation. Jack shrugged him off his shoulder, shaking his head in frustration. "I'm trying to help you, Son."
"I don't need your help!" Jack's voice raised as he turned back and scowled. So much emotion showed in his old man's eyes, and all too soon, Jack saw that pity stare he hated. The brunette released a deranged chuckle and turned to go.
"Jack!" Christian called, his shouts meaningless as Jack rushed from the room without another word.
✧
The rest of the day, Jack and Maddie spent in town, giving them both some much-needed quality father-daughter time. While Jack also hoped the activities would distance Maddie from the trauma of the afternoon. They relaxed on a park bench as a light breeze swept through the air. A few kids played nearby on the playground, but Maddie paid no mind to them. She would much rather sit in silence with her father.
They'd sat at that very bench several times before, and it had become their spot. But things had changed since Haylee's death. Maddie used to join the other kids until her energy wore thin. At that point, she'd join Jack on the bench, falling asleep from exhaustion.
Now all she ever wanted was to be with him, no matter how boring or silent. The man glimpsed at her, the child's sights fixated on the ground as her feet fidget in the air.
"Hey, Monkey, what's wrong?"
Maddie shrugged her shoulders, staying focused on the earth. His spirit's dropped, speculating what might be on her mind. Perhaps it's something her principal said to her in private? A thought which drove him insane. She'd given appalling opinions even when he was there, so he could only imagine what she said in his absences. It broke his heart as Maddie was still somewhat unfamiliar with defending herself—especially now. Silent, broken, an easy target for people like Principal Lark.
Or maybe it's what his father said to her earlier. Did she feel guilty about her silence? Whatever plagued her mind, it didn't sit well with him. She had no reason to feel ashamed. The man kneeled in front of her, and Maddie immediately broke down. He wiped her tears and hushed her weeping.
"Madison, I want you to listen to me; this is important," he said in a firm yet tender voice.
Maddie sniffed as their eyes met, waiting for his words of wisdom.
"I don't want you to think you're doing something wrong because you don't feel like talking right now, okay?" He struggled with the urge to cry, but Maddie heard the pain in his voice. "I know you're hurting. I am too." Jack presented a weak smile while the girl continued to tremble in her gloom. "I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you, baby. You understand me?"
Maddie nodded before bursting into an intense sob, leaning forward to hug him. Jack picked her up, securing her tiny form in his grasp. All he wanted was to protect her, even if the world told him he couldn't. Jack would never stop trying to make things right.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Another sunrise greets the survivors, bringing an additional day of hope for rescue. Sayid stands on the beach among a crowd and informs them of the situation. He encourages collecting electronics from the crash, aspiring to boost the signal on the transceiver. Jack and Maddie move forward, the child's hand tucked into her father's. They listen to Sayid from afar, the brunette rather glad to see someone else exerting leadership. It means he can focus on his dying patient without distraction, as well as Maddie. The girl luckily learned her lesson about wandering off alone. She's now bound to his side, not wishing to disappoint him again. Amidst Sayid's audience is Kate, who glimpses behind to view the man and child. Maddie studies the woman with mistrust as she approaches. "Hi," Kate says, her grin looking stiff and nervous. "Hey," Jack answers with a playful smirk. They both appear self-conscious, something Maddie picks up on in seconds. Neither adult pays much attention as she scrutinizes their interaction from below. Maddie knows the look Kate is giving her father. It's the same one her parents once gave each other. It hurts her to see him stare at another woman that way, especially Kate. Maddie isn't fond of her by any means. Kate soon locks eyes with the girl and kneels, beaming from ear to ear. "Good morning, Maddie. I'm glad you got back to your dad," she says, trying desperately to create a connection. Jack smiles at Kate's minor attempt to gain acceptance from his child. It makes the notion of her being a criminal more absurd. Yet Maddie's feelings for the woman differ considerably from her father. There's a lot in the world she may not understand, but she discovered early on how to read others. And some people proved skillful in hiding their true intentions. She experienced that firsthand with Haylee's mother. Perhaps Kate means well on some level, but the child detects an unknown motive in her efforts. She doesn't trust her at all. Not a single emotion displays on Maddie's expression, and Kate's confidence dissolves into obscurity. Rejection subdues the woman's mental state as she stands, her palms fidgeting before glancing at Jack. "I um..." Kate's thoughts trip over one another, even less sure of herself now. "I need to tell you something." Jack observes the woman's stance, curious what her topic of choice is. He hopes she'll tell him the truth about her past; provide some peace of mind on the subject. "Okay, sure," Jack says, peering at the crowd ahead to find Hurley watching them. "Maddie." He kneels to her level with a smile. "I want you to stay with Hurley while I talk to Kate, okay?" Maddie's heart plummets, imagining him and Kate running off together. She swings her head and pushes closer to him, praying he'll reconsider. But the man grips her arms and presents a firm appearance. "Go on. I'll only be a few minutes." A bit of frustration simmers from his tone, and Maddie sighs in defeat. She isn't about to challenge him on it, not after disobeying him yesterday. The child peers at the ground and hopelessly does as instructed. She's a sad sight to behold while sulking over to the large man, but Jack's sure she'll be alright. Jack and Kate travel to a more secluded area of the beach, and the woman informs him of the transceiver's real issues. Yesterday's group heard a French woman's distress signal, which disrupted the radio's connection. "It's been playing for sixteen years, Jack," Kate says, despair igniting in her eyes. "I wanted to tell you." There is some loyalty in her statement, but Jack's not convinced of its sincerity just yet. Another person trapped on the island for so long is indeed troubling. However, the more pressing issue on his mind is still Kate's double life. "Anything else?" Jack says, and Kate presents a mix of emotions while contemplating his question. She looks to the tent where the Marshal resides, alerting Jack's suspicions. "How is he?" Kate asks, peering back at him. "The man with the shrapnel in his side." Jack glances away, striving to decipher the path of their conversation. "It's touch and go." He avoids any signs of optimism or doubt, unsure of her true motives. After all, this is the same man who had been escorting her to prison. "Did he wake up?" "Just for a few seconds during the surgery."The woman nods and slightly raises her eyebrow with curiosity. "Did he say anything?"It's then Jack realizes she has no intention of telling him the truth. Kate's goal is clear as day, her questions making it painfully obvious. She doesn't care about the Marshal's wellbeing. She needs evidence that her secret remains safe. "No," Jack answers, unable to hide his disappointment. The woman's reaction is unreadable, frustrating Jack further. Sure, it's none of his business, and he's aware of that. But as a father, he wants to know he can trust her; needs to know she's not a danger to Maddie.✦ The discussion with Kate replays in Jack's mind throughout the morning. He's unsure what to do with the information he possesses. Does he confront her? Warn the others? Options are available, but the situation is delicate. One wrong move can mean chaos within the group. For the moment, he's playing it safe, keeping it to himself. It isn't his place or responsibility to inform anyone of anything. He needs to focus on what he can control — such as tending to the incapacitated Marshal. Hurley had aided Jack immensely, which currently involves transporting supplies to the tent. The men let out exhausted breaths while carrying a conjoined plane seat to the shelter. If there's a downside to Hurley's much-appreciated help, it's the information slip-up. Jack carelessly left Kate's mugshot in the open, and Hurley came upon it late in the night. "So, what did she say?" Hurley asks, referring to Kate. "She didn't say anything." "But you told her you knew?" "I don't know anything," Jack answers with a worn-out breath. "Well, you kinda know she's in that mugshot, and we found those handcuffs. And that guy keeps mumbling 'she's dangerous' over and over." They reach the tent and place the large seat on the ground. The list Hurley provided is rather impressive and hard for Jack to ignore. He searches the area for his daughter, all the talk of Kate awakening his anxiety. Alone on the nearby sand sits Maddie, her sights on the distant ocean. Something's upsetting her; Jack can sense it from a mile away. But he's yet to find the time for them to speak. "Aren't you worried about Maddie?" Hurley asks, his voice seeping back into Jack's brain. "What if Kate, like... tortures kids or something?" A chuckle emits under Jack's breath. "I'm serious, man! We don't know who she is! And psychopaths are good at covering that stuff up." "Hurley, if that's how we're thinking about this, then I should worry about everyone here," Jack says, lifting his brow in confidence. "It's not my business, not my problem." Jack exhales, depleted from both the physical and mental exertions. He strides away and heads back towards the wreck, Hurley jogging to catch up with him. "Yeah, you're right. We'll let Johnny Fever take care of her when he gets better." "He's not getting better if we don't get some stronger antibiotics." "That stuff I got from—" "It's for ear infections and foot fungus." Jack halts to face him, the brunette's posture overwhelmed with impatience. "We went through everything, man." "What about the luggage in the overhead compartments?" Jack motions to the aircraft, and fear flashes in the larger man's eyes. "That's inside the plane," Hurley says with caution. "Yeah?" Jack presents him with a perplexed stare, unsure of his point. "But, the bodies are in there, and they're all... dead." The point becomes clear as horror and sorrow carry over Hurley's expression. Jack so often overlooks what the sight of a corpse can do to people outside his profession. "Look, I'll handle it. Can you keep an eye on Maddie and—" "Yeah! Love too! On it!" Hurley rushes back to the tent, thrilled to escape the plane search. Not that Jack minds doing it himself. He and death are well acquainted at this point. The doctor turns to view his daughter, watching her pick at the sand. He wants to go to her, yet something always stops him. Some responsibility he can't escape. Right now, he needs to put it out of his mind. Once the Marshal's cared for, he can make her his primary focus again.✧ It was a crazy day at the hospital, and biting more than he can chew was a regular occurrence for Jack. Yet, for some reason, he continued to do it. He found it hard to stand by rather than taking responsibility for every project thrown his way. Minus his own needs, of course. There's never time for that. He sat in his office, listening to the wife of his current patient on the phone. Honestly, he was only half-listening to her complaints and criticisms. Something about incompetent doctors that take too many risks. Nothing new; he had heard it all before. Another family member worried about their loved one. "I understand your concerns, Mrs. Williams. But, I assure you, your husband's in good hands," he said, kneading his forehead. The call lasted what felt like hours now, and Jack's head was spinning. His office door opened, Christian greeting him with a thin smile. Jack returned the grin, glimpsing at the papers on his desk as the woman proceeded to talk. After a moment, he lifted his gaze again, watching his father gesture to the clock on the wall. "Alright, Mrs. Williams, I'll speak with you after the surgery tomorrow," Jack said, hanging up. "Dad, what—" "Son, it's 9:54." Dread filled Jack's chest as he checked his wristwatch. Sure enough, the time was correct. "Shit!" he said, scrambling from his chair. He told the babysitter he would be home no later than seven. Time was now against him as he fumbled for his work case and suit jacket. Christan did his best to stay out of the way, shuffling aside with his hands slightly raised. Any other reaction would earn him a scowl.
As Jack stepped out the door, he turned back, glaring at his desk. A pile of paperwork in need of doing lay waiting for him—essential for tomorrow's surgery. He walked over to retrieve them until his father nudged him back toward the exit.
"Don't worry, Jack, I'll make sure everything is ready for tomorrow."
Jack eyed his father, a smile entering his expression. "Thanks, Dad," he said with affection. Sometimes Christian truly surprised him.
"Don't mention it, Kiddo," Christian chuckled, motioning him away. "Now go!"
✧
As he entered his home, the first thing Jack saw was Maddie and her babysitter on the couch. The TV was playing Looney Tunes, Maddie already dressed in her pajamas — up much later than she should be. Her head turned at the sound of the door, and she quickly leaped off the couch, running to her father.
"Hey, what are you still doing up, Monkey?" He picked her up as she reached him, her tiny limbs wrapping around his body. Their time spent apart was still hard, Maddie doing her best to fight her separation anxiety. Not to say she hadn't made progress since Haylee's death. At one point, she refused to leave his side at all, screaming and crying if anyone attempted to remove her. To Jack's relief, things weren't that severe anymore. He squeezed the girl at the thought, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry, baby, I completely lost track of time," he said with a remorseful sigh.
The babysitter, Lauren, approached them. Seventeen years old with blonde hair, blue eyes, and manners to match. She lived a few houses down the street and had watched Maddie since she was a baby. Even at a young age, Lauren was mature beyond her years. And with the situation so complicated now, Jack was grateful for the help.
"I'm sorry she's up so late, Mr. Shephard," Lauren said, pursing her lips in regret. "She wouldn't stay in bed. I think she's been waiting for you."
"It's okay, Lauren. I apologize for working later than I said."
"Oh, it's no trouble!" She casually waved her hand. "I enjoy my time with Maddie." Lauren tugged on Maddie's single braid as the child's head rested under Jack's chin. "I'll see you later, Maddie."
The two watched Lauren leave the house, shutting the door behind her. Jack pulled Maddie from his chest, meeting her gaze.
"Alright, how about I tuck you into bed?"
Maddie shook her head and coiled her arms around him once more.
"Sweetie," Jack chuckled, "it's way past your bedtime."
His logic did nothing but make her clutch tighter, desperate to stay close. The clinginess wasn't about going to bed, and Jack knew that. It's the idea of sleeping alone that scared her, nightmares keeping her up half the night.
"You want to sleep in Daddy's room?" Jack asked, and the child nodded, giving a small groan. "Okay, come on." Jack leaned his head onto hers as they headed up the stairs. Guilt fiddled inside his chest. Encouraging her clinginess wasn't wise, and her therapist advised against it several times. But Maddie rested so much better when with him. To hell with everyone else. His baby needed him.✦Jack sits in the dimly lit plane, the sun leaking past its damaged walls. He delves into the bags, not wanting to miss out on any supplies. It's not an ideal situation, to sit among countless bodies as they dangle from their seats. And the smell is even worse. But someone has to do it.A noise comes from behind, causing Jack's stomach to drop. He points the flashlight in its direction yet nothing unusual occurs. His mind is undoubtedly playing tricks, pulling at the thread of his fears. Perhaps on some unconscious level, he's terrified of the death surrounding him. He isn't sure if that makes him a coward or simply normal.Another sound echoes the walls, and Jack shifts for a second time with increasing speed. He stands, moving closer to the area in question when Sawyer emerges from nowhere."Boo," Sawyer says with a massive grin.Jack releases his breath, tension subsiding at the sight of another warm body."What are you doing here?""Trick or treatin', same as you.""You're looting," Jack says, amazed how often his opinion of Sawyer changes."Ah, you say potato..."The blonde examines the compartment to his right, paying no mind to Jack's judgment."What's in the bag?" Jack asks, his tone escalating to new heights of annoyance."Booze, smokes, couple Playboys," Sawyer boasts with fluent charm. "What's in yours?""Medicine."Jack returns to his search, and Sawyer smirks from behind."Just 'bout sums it up, don't it?"Sawyer prefers that distinct line between them. It's one which suggests Jack is the hero, and he's the villain."You do this back home too? Steal from the dead?"The blonde chuckles at how easy Jack makes maintaining that invisible line. Anyone can spot the man's pure intentions and heart of gold. When it comes to doing right by others, Jack radiates honest vibes."You gotta be the most on edge person I ever met, Doc," Sawyer says, strolling closer to him. "Wastin' time tryin' to save a guy who last I checked has a piece of metal the size of my head stickin' out of his breadbasket." He stops to gaze down at the brunette. "Tell me this, how many of those pills you gonna use to fix him up?""As many as it takes.""Yeah?" Sawyer pauses while Jack avoids letting him get under his skin. But in all reality, he's soaking up the man's words like a sponge. "How many you got?"It's a sharp blow that leaves Jack speechless. He shifts with discomfort, striving for an intelligent response. Sawyer kneels to his level and savors the look of discontent on his opponent's face."What're you doin', Doc? We both know that poor bastard ain't makin' it.""What's it to you, Sawyer?" Jack asks, his stomach coiling in knots."What's it to me?" Sawyer snickers. "You recall Maddie almost got attacked by a bear, right? Imagine yourself in a repeat scenario, but you went and used half the supplies on a dead man."For a fleeting moment, Jack sees a valid point in Sawyer's thinking. He swallows hard at the thought. It's an idea that's not far-fetched. Sawyer marches over to the exit, glimpsing back with a glimmer in his eyes."Just not lookin' at the big picture, Doc. You're still livin' back in civilization.""Yeah?" Jack says, hoping to gain back some confidence. "And where are you?""Me?" Sawyer says with a smirk. "I'm in the wild."The blonde lingers, chuckling at Jack's ambiguous expression before leaving.Jack shakes his head in frustration, and Sawyer's statement circles his mind. He hopelessly seeks to remove the logic from it but fails. To aid someone in need seems the obvious choice to anyone with a shred of decency. But perhaps Sawyer's on to something this time.Attempting to save the man is, without a doubt, the right thing to do. But is it the smart thing to do?✦Earlier that day, the rain poured down. It made a mess of the beach as the survivors scrambled for shelter. That is, everyone except for Kate. The woman took advantage of the chaos, slipping into the Marshal's tent. It proved disastrous as the man almost strangled her with his bare hands. Jack arrived in time to separate them, amazed by the Marshal's strength when it meant killing Kate.Afterward, all Jack wanted from her was answers, and she could start with why she snuck into the tent. Instead, the woman did some interrogating of her own. She asked if the Marshal would suffer, insisting Jack put him out of his misery. It's the straw that broke the camel's back as the doctor revealed his knowledge of her criminal background. He even went as far as saying he wasn't a murderer. A harsh statement, but between Kate and Sawyer, Jack felt criticized for merely trying to save a life. It's not his place to say who lives and dies.As the evening draws closer, the day escalates further downhill.Screams of agony emit from the tent, the Marshal feeling the intensity of his body shutting down. It isn't a morale booster by any means, and the entire camp grows unnerved.Jack makes his way to the makeshift water trough, now occupied with rainwater. He fills the empty bottles in hand, exhausted by his attempts to serve."Anything I can do to help?" Sayid says, approaching from behind."No, I'm good," Jack answers, grinning weakly. "Thanks."Sayid follows as Jack proceeds back to the tent. The soldier appears vexed by the situation, which is hardly a surprise. Yet Jack's sure he isn't going to like the ongoing conversation between them."The others are getting upset. They want to know what's going on inside the tent." Sayid says in a low voice."I'm trying to save his life.""Rumor has it you can't."Jack halts, glaring with distaste. He sways his head with tiredness and doubt. It isn't as if the rumor is false, but Jack hoped for some confidence from his fellow survivors. Then again, he's yet to earn such a response."Jack!" Claire dashes over to the doctor, looking desperate and fearful. "It's Maddie. I think she's scared. I tried to comfort her, but she's not responding to anyone."Jack hands the bottles to Sayid with haste and follows Claire to his daughter. In the middle of the beach, Maddie sits with her eyes sealed, hands clasping her ears. He crouches down and tenderly touches her knee, and the girl tenses up in surprise."Maddie, it's me."The trance remains, Maddie unable to hear beneath her tight grip. Jack tries to remove them, but the girl meets his efforts with an opposition, struggling against his strength. Who it is or why they have come doesn't concern her. Resistance is all that's on her mind."Sweetie, it's me!" Jack says, capturing her forearms.Maddie opens her eyes, her father's calm presence and smile shifting the mood."Hey," he says in a soft tone, stroking her hair and wiping away the tears. "See, it's alright."Serenity catches Maddie's heart at the sound of his voice, and she exhales in comfort. But the Marshal's screams resume in the distance, and panic sets in again. She grapples for her freedom once more, crying with dismay."Madison, stop!"The child escapes him, rapidly bolting into the distance. Jack watches in defeat as she gets further from view. It's not the first time he put other matters before her. Nor the first time she needed him and was let down.✧
It had been three hours of uninterrupted paperwork as Jack sat back in his office chair. He released a long-awaited sigh, straightening out his scrub top. Paper crinkled on the other side of the room, and Jack peered up to see Maddie coloring on the couch. She was so quiet; he almost forgot about her. Lauren wasn't able to babysit for the night, not that Maddie minded. She preferred being with him, even with the lack of attention.
Jack checked his wristwatch, running a hand over his hair in distress. Six-thirty in the evening, well past Maddie's dinnertime. He wandered over to join his daughter on the sofa, watching as she switched crayons. Their silence remained until Maddie gazed at him, curiosity shining in her eyes.
"You hungry?" Jack asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "How about we go to the cafeteria to get something to eat?"
A wide smile claimed Jack's cheeks as Maddie hopped from the couch with excitement. She bounced up and down, grabbing his hand to pull him to his feet. He was so busy lately with hardly any time to spare. But Maddie waited patiently and was happy to see her determination paid off.
They strolled the hospital hallways, Maddie sticking close, not wanting to get in the way. She was rather eager to eat, especially choosing from the many places in the cafeteria. Burgers, Chinese, ice cream; the options were endless. To a hungry five-year-old, it might as well be Food Heaven.
"Dr. Shephard!" Jack stopped, turning as a nurse jogged towards them. "Mr. Williams woke up a few minutes ago. He doesn't appear to be responding well to the pain medication."
"Not responding?" Jack asked, waiting for specifics.
"He took out his I.V. and kept trying to get up and leave. We've had to restrain him," the nurse said out of breath. "At this rate, he might rip out his stitches."
Jack peered at Maddie and sighed while kneeling to her height. With a pout, she pulled her focus away, expression sinking to defeat. What he was about to say next was what she hoped to avoid, but ultimately, what she expected.
"Don't make that face, Monkey. I promise I'll only be a few minutes, okay?" Jack said, lifting her chin. "Go wait in my office, and—"
"Dr. Shephard!" Another woman came down the hall, paying no mind to the scene she made. She scowled, stomping straight towards Jack. "You said he was in good hands! Now he's in there having a seizure!"
Jack motioned his hands in a calming manner. All the eyes on them made him uncomfortable, but this was part of the job.
"I assure you, Mrs. Williams, he's not having a seizure. Your husband's not reacting well to the—"
"What do you mean 'not reacting well'!"
The woman rambled on about matters she didn't understand. As if she had all the medical answers and could have performed the surgery herself. Jack tried to interject when she labeled the nurses incompetent and uneducated. It all went downhill after that, and an argument brewed between the nurse and wife. Against his better judgment, Jack attempted to soothe the situation.
"Hey, everyone, just take it easy!" Jack said, little success in grabbing their attention, let alone ending the argument.
Maddie tugged on his arm, stealing his focus for a moment until Christian approached.
"What the hell's going on here?" Christian eyed Jack as if only he could be the problem.
"It's fine, Dad, just a misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding?" Mrs. Williams said, almost spitting on them.
Maddie pulled on Jack's arm again—receiving no acknowledgment this time.
"Mrs. Williams," Jack said, "if you would—"
"What am I supposed to do with the patient, Dr. Shephard?" the nurse impatiently said with a hand on her hip.
"The patient you operated on this morning? What happened?" Christian asked.
All of them began yelling at Jack in unison, leaving little room to think. The aggression soon overwhelmed him, and a panic attack rose in his chest. Maddie tugged for the third time, and before Jack thought about his actions, he swooped down, seizing her forearms with force.
"Madison! I told you to go wait in my office!" he said, shaking her small body.
Maddie gawked at him in shock, frightened by the unexpected outburst.
The hallway grew silent, and anyone who wasn't watching before was undoubtedly watching now. All the frustration swelling in Jack's mind flushed at the sight of Maddie's expression. Her face scrunched up as fluid flooded her eyes. That's when his mistake sunk in. He had never yelled at her before, and there was no good reason to start. All his attention had been on other things, leaving her to wait for her turn. Which she did without question or fuss.
"Maddie, I'm—" The girl pulled away in anger, racing off in the opposite direction. "Maddie!"
Jack stood and watched her disappear around the corner. A desperate voice inside told him to chase her, disregard everyone else, and prove his love. But he didn't. He lingered like a dumbfounded creature with no free will. Lives were on the line, and this was his job. He didn't have the luxury of disappearing.
Chatter picked up in the hallway again as the situation faded, and a sharp pinch clenched at Jack's stomach. Christian placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze.
"Jack—"
"Don't..." Jack said, pushing off his hand. "Just... don't, Dad."
He turned around, snatching the chart from the nurse before marching to his patient's room.
✦Twilight sets upon the island as Jack idles near the Marshal's tent. He admires the moon's reflection on the waves, finding it calming. Everything about the day is a blur, and the worst involves Maddie. She distanced herself, clinging to Claire instead. Forgiveness is all Jack craves now, but he gave the girl space. The last thing he wants is to upset her further."Yo," Hurley says, startling Jack from his thoughts. "So, where's the fugitive?""In the tent." Jack's eyes flicker toward the shelter."You let her in there alone?"Jack shrugs with apathy. In reality, he didn't let Kate do a damn thing. It's the Marshal who requested a private audience."What's she gonna do? She's 120 pounds soaking wet.""Yeah, but she's got that gun," Hurley answers, becoming frantic."What!"Immediate panic erupts in Jack's body as he rushes to the tent. Upon approaching, Kate exits the other side, causing him to halt. A long breath of relief subsides, and a smirk crosses his lips. So it's true; his original opinion of Kate is correct. She isn't the horrible monster the Marshal described."Kate!"The woman peers at him when gunfire sounds inside the tent.Jack flinches, and the smile on his face shrinks. All hope and reassurance left his body within seconds. Kate peers at him emotionless, guiltless, before wandering off into the night. Bile surges in Jack's stomach, wondering how he let this happen.Sawyer steps from the tent, the murder weapon in hand. He glances at Jack, expressing a mix of pride and shame."What did you do?" Jack says, marching over to him in a fit of rage."What you couldn't!"They advance towards each other, face to face like wild animals ready to fight to the death for dominance."Look, I get where you're comin' from, bein' a doctor and all, but he wanted it. Hell, he asked me!" Sawyer says, justifying his actions. "So I don't like it any more than you do, but somethin' had to be done."A cough emits from the tent, and they both glance at the entrance. Jack senses it again, the bile working its way up to his throat as the situation enhances to a disturbing new level.They rush inside, and Jack examines the Marshal's new wound. Blood pools from his chest, gushing out with each cough."You shot him in the chest?" Jack says, placing rags on the injury while applying pressure.Anxiety saturates within Sawyer's core, hardly able to speak."I was aimin' for his heart.""You missed." Jack's mood is calm yet cruel. "You perforated his lung; it'll take hours to bleed out.""There was..." Sawyer's brain stumbles over every thought, fighting to gain composure. He isn't a sadist. He meant to relieve the man of pain, not make it worse. "I only had one bullet.""Get out." Jack's temper swells as Sawyer remains idle. "Get out!"Once his legs regain control, Sawyer leaves, accompanied by a storm of guilt and humiliation.Jack pushes harder on the wound, hoping to obstruct the bleeding. It's a pointless effort; the man will die regardless of anything he does. Putting him out of his misery is now the only humane option left. Jack staggers and chuckles with disgust. All the time spent trying to keep the man alive, and this is how it ends. Kate and Sawyer's comments about it being more honorable to kill him, yet here Jack is alone, forced to do it himself.He places his palm on the Marshal's throat, hindering the man's airway with all his strength. The Marshal struggles, but the effort is futile, scarcely conscious enough to do any damage. Sweat drips down Jack's face, and he closes his eyes, blocking the horror that plays before him. He wants nothing more than to walk away from this brutality, but he must finish it first. Seconds feel more like minutes before the Marshal's body finally grows lifeless.All said and done, Jack exits the tent, uneasiness written on his features. An expression that explains everything. Sawyer gawks, waiting for a lecture, but Jack says nothing. He shuffles down the shore without a word.Blame, stupidity, and sorrow plague Sawyer's mind. This is a sin Jack will carry for the rest of his life, even if it came out of mercy.✦Ocean water rushes over the beach as Jack sits on the sand, watching the sunrise. Everything he once believed about his character has shattered. A man is dead by his hand. The reason doesn't matter; it still tears through his soul.Two arms lock around Jack's neck from behind, stealing him from his uncertainties. As soon as he realizes it's Maddie, peace consumes his heart. He needs rescue, and Maddie's come to do just that. Compassion has always been her weakness, much like Jack. She put aside her feelings of abandonment in favor of comforting her father. After all, she promised her mother to take care of him.Jack shifts and pulls his child into a hug, clutching tighter than ever before."I love you," he says, his self-doubt less troublesome now.Maddie kisses his cheek in response, implying her returned love. After a while, she breaks their connection, sitting next to him. Small limbs coil around his arm, and Jack smiles, kissing the top of her head. It's peaceful for once, nothing but the soothing sounds from the beach.Regrettably, however, Kate cuts their one-on-one short. The woman beams at the sight, perching herself beside them. The intrusion doesn't earn her any points. And while Jack is kind enough to acknowledge her presence, Maddie ignores her altogether.Kate fidgets, brushing hair behind her ear. "How are you?" she asks, looking at Jack. "I heard what happened last night.""I'm fine," Jack answers, although he's unsure if it's true.Kate nods with a smirk before peering at Maddie. It's clear she's chosen to disregard her existence, but Kate still yearns for acceptance. Gathering the courage to speak, she slides closer and reaches over to touch Maddie's back."How are you Madd—"Her voice cracks as Maddie springs up, marching away in annoyance."Maddie," Jack says, watching her walk to the tent. He glances back, seeing Kate eye the ground. "I'm sorry, Kate. I don't know what that's about.""Kind of obvious what it's about, Jack." Lifting her eyebrows, she snickers in disbelief. "She doesn't like me.""No," Jack says, chuckling. "Just... give her some time. She'll come around. It takes her a while to trust people, that's all.""Really?" Kate scoffs, frustration increasing. "Well, it sure didn't take her long to trust Sawyer."The grin fades from Jack's face, and his stomach twists in knots. There does appear to be an exception for Sawyer. God only knows why."Yeah... I'm not sure what that's about either," he says, playfully.She laughs, and a rush of butterflies swirl in Jack's stomach. It rids him of the knots and nausea for a moment until Kate's cheery persona dissolves once more."I want to tell you what I did," she says, a hint of fear in her voice—fear of rejection. "Why he was after me."The horrors of last night resurface in Jack's mind. Gasps for oxygen coming from the Marshal, hot blood leaking from his wound. His hand fastened around the man's neck, stealing his life. But the image of Kate strolling into the distance stands out most. She didn't try to stop Sawyer. Hell, she gave him the gun. A decision that ultimately caused what happened.Can he believe any story from her? Is she truly as innocent as she appears? No, probably not. But, people can change if given an opportunity; maybe that's what she needs."I don't want to know." The woman looks puzzled, finding his disinterest odd. People usually jump at the chance to hear what she did. "It doesn't matter. You have a second chance to do better. Don't waste that."It isn't his acceptance, nor the words that phase Kate. It's the honesty behind them. She nods in agreement, wondering if she'll live up to the expectations. Jack grins before standing, dusting the sand from his pants."I'm going to check on Maddie. I'll see you later, Kate."Her eyes follow him as he leaves, and a hollow sensation fills her chest. She wants to go too but remains behind.✧
Jack stomped into his house, shutting the door with more force than intended. His frustration grew as Christian came down the stairs to greet him. Pleasantries sure as hell wouldn't get his father off the hook. Jack spent hours finishing up at work, desperate to escape and find Maddie. But every time things appeared done, another problem revealed itself. Once free, he went to his office, only to discover a note from Christian stating he took Maddie home.
"Where is she?" Jack asked, trying to contain his rage.
Truthfully, he wasn't sure why he was so annoyed. Maddie needed someone to care for her as he wasn't able to do it himself. Was it the way Christian did it? Or was Jack just used to directing frustration at him? He didn't have an explanation; the rage boiling in his stomach was all he understood.
"She's in bed," Christian said, keeping his voice low. Jack rushed forward, jogging past him on the stairs. "Jack, I think it can wait until morning."
The comment didn't slow Jack any as he headed for Maddie's room. A night light illuminated the space as he entered. He watched the colorful stars circle the walls, and oddly enough, felt a little better. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leaned his back on the headboard. Maddie's back faced him, leaving the man to wonder if she was awake. The sound of sniffling caught Jack's ears, answering his question. It broke any confidence he possessed, aware his actions had caused her pain. It could still get fixed. He could make this right. Jack encompassed his arms around her and dragged her close to his chest.
"Maddie, I'm so sorry," he said, kissing her forehead. "I just got... overwhelmed, but I shouldn't have yelled at you."
Though she listened, Maddie had little room for forgiveness or understanding left. The hurt was too much right now. Jack rested his head against hers, holding on tighter.
"Can you forgive me?"
The pain increased in Maddie's brain until those two words broke her down. She sobbed, trembling in his grasp. It was all so unfair, and for once, she didn't want to think about anyone else's emotions.
"Hey, it's okay—"
Maddie jerked away, attempting to put distance between them. No more hollow promises or false claims of happiness. She had heard enough.
Yet Jack didn't take the hint and reached for her shoulder. "Madd—"
Soon as his hand touched her, Maddie released a harsh whine in objection, and Jack pulled back in shock. She curled into a ball, scootching further away. Her withdrawal made him nauseous, seeing himself as an acid while listening to her gasps. His presence was only causing more distress. Jack pulled the covers up and tucked her in before walking to the door. He peered back, lungs tightening from her resentment.
"I love you." His voice wavered more than he liked, but those words needed to be said.
As he shuffled back downstairs, Jack noticed Christian in the living room. All his energy was dried up, so whatever his father wanted would have to wait. Instead, Jack went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes in the sink. Christian followed a few seconds behind, leaning against a counter with his arms crossed.
"You want to talk?" Christian asked.
"Talk about what?" Jack answered, distant and uninterested.
"Don't do that, Jack." He tilted his head, finding Jack's reaction very child-like. "About what happened at the hospital."
"Dad..." A long pause fell between them as Jack took a few deep breaths. He had to soothe these emotions, keep them hidden from the world. "Thank you for bringing Maddie home, but can you please just go?"
Christian's jaw slightly dropped, about to speak but holding back. He and Jack were stubborn, a trait that haunted the Shephard family line—particularly the men. However, Jack had a flaw in his code. His emotions consumed him. Where Christian found it easy to hide and maintain composure, Jack struggled. He listened to his heart more than his head.
Haylee helped him with those intense emotions, the only person who ever broke into his heart. His parents could never figure it out, nor anyone else. Yet somehow she got through. With her gone, loneliness consumed Jack once more, and he rejected any help with coping.
"No," Christian said, moving forward some. "Come on, talk to me."
Jack leaned on the counter, pressure swelling in his brain. "I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You're losing your grip." Christian sighed, expressing nothing but love and concern. "Let me help—"
Jack grabbed a cup from the sink and threw it at the wall, causing Christian to jump and step back.
"How can you help! Are you looking for a reason to tell me I don't have what it takes!"
"Jack, I didn't say that. Why does this have to be about that?"
"Because that's what it's always about with you!" Jack said, marching by him and into the living room. "And you know what? You're right! I can't take care of Maddie alone! I can't be a good father, work, and grieve at the same time!" His words came with a hateful glare because he didn't want to admit it. "I don't have what it takes to do anything."
"Jack..." Christian said, but no other words followed. Nothing he said could alter reality.
"You wanna help?" Jack's voice quivered. "Can you bring Haylee back?" His suggestion invoked a prickle under his skin, one that had silently waited for freedom. "Can you do that for me?"
Tears finally commenced as Jack stumbled back into the wall. He hid his face in shame and slid down to the floor. These emotional situations were the ones Christian failed Jack in so many times as a child. Compassion wasn't his strong suit. Yet in his old age, the more he wanted to excel at it. And at that moment, something kicked in. One might call it those fatherly instincts he lacked in his youth.
Christian reached down and pulled Jack up into a secure embrace. The action was tense at first as Jack resisted. It wasn't natural for them, not anymore. Haylee was the only reason they became close, and that life was over. Right? It had to be. Grief ripped through Jack again, so intense that it soon didn't matter who was holding him. He fastened his grip around his father, sinking into the touch as he cried harder.
"It's okay, Son." Christan brushed his hand over Jack's back. "It's okay."
"I don't know what to do," Jack said, his head buried in the man's shoulder.
"You do the best you can. That's all any of us can do." A soft chuckle passed Christian's lips, happy to see Jack let go of control.
Releasing slow and steady breaths, Jack allowed his father to hold him a while longer, needing it more than he realized.
"I'm sorry, Dad," Jack whispered as tears streamed his cheeks. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Just let me help you."
A light creak sounded to their left, and they shifted to see Maddie standing halfway down the stairs. Tears shined on Jack's face, and Maddie's gut clenched with sympathy.
"Maddie..." Jack said, nervously wiping the liquid from his cheeks.
Maddie rushed to the bottom of the steps, flying into her father's arms.
With a heavy heart, Jack held her tight, closing his eyes as normalcy settled in again. Because doing right by Maddie was all that mattered. And it's where his focus needed to stay.
✦As he nears the tent, Jack spots Maddie lying on the ground, back turned to the world. He rests himself behind her, forearm holding his weight. With his free hand, the man sweeps through her hair. Maddie's body curls into a tighter ball, and Jack notices her holding something."What's this?" he asks, extending his arm towards the item.Maddie scrunches up again, refusing to share as she pulls it to her chest."Maddie," Jack chuckles.She shifts and surveys him, deciding if his interest connects to some ulterior motive. With a heavy sigh, she hands it over. It's a wallet-size picture of him and Haylee, one which disappeared from his wallet after her passing.Memories flood his brain; it's like salt poured into an open wound. He peers at Maddie, whose expression perfectly mirrors his own. The past still claws at them both as if it happened yesterday.So Kate is the problem then. Maddie, so smart for her age, sensed their indirect attraction. And what else might she expect but her mother's replacement? A notion that weighs him down, remorse burning his thoughts like wildfire. He drags the child into a hug, and Maddie returns his embrace."Nobody can replace your mom, sweetie." He kisses her head before pulling her back to look at him. "Hey, we're going to spend more time together, okay? Just me and you. I promise."A bright smile crosses her expression as she nods. It's more than okay; it's an excellent plan. A promise Jack intends to keep. No more excuses.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Light from the moon shone down on the beach, leaving behind a glow that bounced off the sand. The slow waves of the ocean hypnotized Jack while he leaned against the plane seats in the tent. Maddie nestled close to his side, wrapped in a blanket as she slept with her head on his chest. Jack observed the night and its many wonders. All the bad things aside, the island was an absolutely mesmerizing place. Maddie shifted to snuggle closer to him, and the brunette beamed before he relaxed his head on top of hers, happy they were no longer at odds.Doubt clouded his mind as he imagined the future ahead. So much time had already gone by with no sign of rescue. He couldn't just raise Maddie on an island, could he? She needed stability and civilization, not all the unknown that came from this place. Suddenly, the silence of the night shattered at the sound of barking. Vincent, the Labrador who greeted both Maddie and Jack on the day of the crash, yelped incessantly at the fuselage while his boy, Walt, kept a tight hold on his leash. Maddie stirred uncomfortably and opened her tired eyes, sluggishly lifting her head to inspect the commotion. Jack did the same, sitting up to view the mutt, wondering what danger his canine instincts sensed. Everyone herded around the plane where the sound was loudest, and Jack strolled to the front of the group while Maddie held his hand and followed. "Somebody's in there," Claire said, moving closer to Sayid in alarm."Everyone in there's dead," Sayid exclaimed."Sawyer," Jack stated with confidence, positive the blonde had entered the plane to scavenge, or even just to disturb everyone for his own amusement."Right behindcha, Jackass," Sawyer affirmed as he scowled at Jack in response.Maddie scooched closer to her father, frightened by the ambiguity of the moment, and Jack plucked the child from the ground when he sensed her uneasiness. Something in him desired to move forward and investigate, but keeping his baby safe remained his primary concern. Sawyer, with a few others, wandered slow and steady towards the void until the blonde became impatient and shined his flashlight into the darkness. Beadie yellow orbs peered back at them, and abruptly three pig-like creatures charged towards the intruders."Run!" Sawyer roared.Immediate deformation spread throughout the group as everyone panicked and scrambled out of the way. Maddie clung to her father nervously while he carried her further from the aircraft. It amazed Jack how easily the mayhem escalated into every man for himself, no regard given for those left behind or knocked over.When the beasts had finally gone, bewilderment dispersed amongst the survivors, and all eyes fell upon the wilderness as they strived to comprehend the situation."What the bloody hell was that?" Charlie asked, holding his newly injured side. A bald man stepped in front of him and peered at the distant trees.Fearless, he proclaimed, "Boars."✦Once the chaos declined, Sawyer roamed the shoreline with a blade of grass in his mouth. He thought it might distract from his nicotine withdrawal, but after a while, it simply became an aggravation. Pulling it from his mouth, the blonde violently tossed the green blade aside, muttering profanities under his breath.Sawyer sauntered back into camp, passing by his sleeping crew member but stopped when he came across the tent. Maddie lay wrapped in a blanket as she slept on the sand; Jack nowhere in sight. Sawyer stepped closer to get a better view of the girl, and he couldn't help but smile at how cute and innocent she looked. A strange desire to protect her arose in the man's chest. It terrified him.Sawyer wasn’t exactly what people called father material, but that never bothered him. Kids were whiny, clingy and a hell of a big responsibility. Who would want that? It was simply not the life suited for him. However, Maddie had a firm hold on his heart that shocked him. Each encounter with her made him feel important and needed like he wasn’t the worthless piece of shit many people labeled him as.When she'd picked him over Kate a few days ago, it staggered him, unable to believe the child trusted him more. It made him feel even closer to her. Nevertheless, the blonde desperately needed to sever those emotions. Attachments made people vulnerable and reckless; he needed to avoid that."Sawyer," Jack beckoned from behind.Sawyer turned to see displeasure in the brunette's expression, and honestly, he couldn't blame him; he probably looked like a creep looming over Maddie while she slept. The blonde cursed at himself for lingering out of sentiment.Jack walked in front of him, hindering Sawyer's view of the small child. "You need something?" The brunette was calm and collected, but his posture showed clear signs of aggression. It didn't take a genius to understand that Jack perceived Sawyer as a threat and was being protective, and the blonde quickly put some space between them to display submission. Usually, Sawyer wasn’t intimidated by vague masculine threats, but he got the impression that when it came to Maddie, Jack wasn’t to be meddled with."Yeah, need some smokes, Doc," Sawyer stated with humor. "Got any?"Jack studied him with hardened eyes, and Sawyer suddenly became uncomfortable."No, I don't," the brunette answered before he strolled over to the tent and grabbed a small bag to rummage through. Seconds passed until Jack finally veered back towards Sawyer with something in his hand. "Here." Jack tossed the item, and Sawyer caught a packet of gum. He glimpsed up with a puzzled expression. "Chew on that whenever you want to smoke. It's not much, but it should help with the withdraws.""Oh," Sawyer faltered. "Uh...thanks, Doc." He didn't understand why Jack would help him after what happened with the Marshal.Jack gave the blonde a subtle nod before he sat down next to Maddie, tucking the child into the blanket more. Sawyer knew he should leave, but he couldn't help wanting to stay. There was something he needed to get off his chest, though he didn't know the right way to express his words. Instead, the blonde prolonged the conversation."So, where were you anyway?" Sawyer asked uncomfortably. The man's curiosity threw Jack off, and he raised his eyebrow slightly in suspicion."I was patching Charlie up," he eventually answered. "Talking to him, Sayid, and Kate about burning the bodies in the plane tomorrow night."Sawyer noted the frustration in his tone. "Take it they ain't all on board with that plan.""No, but it doesn't matter. Can't have more wild animals showing up every night for dinner," Jack stated matter-of-factly."I agree," Sawyer responded, preferring to be on the brunette's good side. Silence fell between them for a moment, and an awkward tension crept into the atmosphere. Sawyer coughed, clearing his throat as he moved forward somewhat."Look, Doc— err...Jack, I mean," he stammered. "I wanted to apologize for the other night...with the Marshal. It shoulda been me who finished him, and I'm sorry you did instead."Sawyer's honesty seemed off-putting. Perhaps because it didn't fit the list of characteristics that Jack had already made of him in his mind. Even though the blonde appeared genuinely sympathetic towards the topic, Jack didn't think he could forgive him. He'd never trusted Sawyer much before, but since that night his trust had grown even thinner. Jack peered down at Maddie, remembering Sawyer saved her life twice, and he still owed the man for those selfless endeavors."Don't worry about it, Sawyer," Jack replied with his best artificial smile. "Water under the bridge."Sawyer saw through the act and grimaced at the rejection. He never expected Jack's forgiveness, but for whatever reason, he wanted it. Sighing in defeat, Sawyer supplied the brunette with a small nod and continued towards his own area. An empty void consumed him, replacing any confidence he'd once possessed.✦The survivors awoke earlier than usual the next day to collect firewood for burning the fuselage. Eventually, Jack noticed Maddie following him around in boredom, causing the man to search amongst the luggage for some paper and pen, settling the girl down in the tent before he returned to his work. Maddie loved to draw, which wasn’t a surprise, considering her mother had been an artist. Haylee's preferred medium was painting, but she sketched occasionally, and her work inspired the child from a young age. Jack remembered finding them countless times in Haylee's art room, covered in paint and giggling with each other while Maddie helped the woman with her newest project. He loved coming home to such a perfect scene. It reminded him that he was the luckiest man on earth to have such a beautiful family.The girl stayed put as her father instructed, complacent with the task given to her. At some point, she glanced up to see Vincent running over before tackling her onto the ground, and Maddie chuckled as the mutt began to lick her face."Vincent!" Walt shouted in the distance, causing Vincent to look back and bark in his direction."Sorry little girl, he just started pulling me over here. I tried to stop him, but he's pretty strong," Walt explained, and Maddie delivered a kind smile in response. "I'm Walt," he said, hesitant to introduce himself. "What's your name?" The girl wrote on the piece of paper she'd been drawing on and handed it to the boy. "Maddie," Walt announced with a half-smile. "Don't you talk?" Maddie's eyes wandered towards the ground, and she pulled her knees close to her chest in embarrassment. "It's okay. I don't mind if you don't," Walt stated when he caught on to her stiff posture. Maddie maintained focus on the sand, growing more insecure with herself. The boy sat beside her and pointed at the drawings she had created."That's your dad, the doctor, right?" Walt asked, beaming when Maddie responded with a mild nod. "What about your mom? Is she here too?" The girl frowned and moved her knees in tighter towards her chest, hiding her face as liquid swelled from her eyes."Oh, is she…" Walt paused, not needing to finish the question. Maddie nodded her head again and wiped away the tears that escaped. "I'm sorry," Walt responded in sadness. "I lost my mom too. My dad was bringing me back to live with him."Maddie lifted her head from her knees and observed the boy. She wanted to question him on the subject but simply stared with remorse."Do you wanna come and play fetch with us near the water?" Walt inquired, glad to have another kid around, even if she was younger than him. Maddie nodded her head before they stood up and traveled towards the water, Vincent energetically bouncing around them. Jack approached the tent in time to view the children racing away, and he grinned. Maddie hadn’t socialized with another child in such a long time. It was a welcome sight.✦A new set of problems arose that morning, and naturally, it included Sawyer. The blonde had hoarded his own stash of food with no intention of supplying handouts, and Hurley decided to pick a fight over it with him. Jack and Sayid broke up the uproar between the two, which prompted the larger man to announce their food had run out. Everyone gasped and murmured amongst each other in a panic, and the Iraqi stepped forward to calm them."We can find food. There are plenty of things on this island we can use for sustenance," Sayid assured."Exactly how are we gonna find this sustenance?" Sawyer questioned as he perched himself in a seat amongst the wreckage. Without warning, a knife hit the chair next to him, piercing clean into the fabric."We hunt," a bald man replied with confidence. Jack strolled over to pull the knife from the seat before he delivered the blade back to its owner.Jack expressed, "You either have a very good aim or a very bad aim, Mr.—""Locke," Michael answered with a bitter tone. "His name is Locke.""Okay, Mr. Locke, what is it that we're hunting?" Jack questioned.Locke began to explain the boar on the island in extreme detail, insisting if a few of them went out together, they could easily find and kill the mother of the three piglets that invaded their camp. However, his knowledge of the subject disturbed or frightened the group more than anything."And you gave him his knife back?" Sawyer interrogated. Jack peered back at the blonde and shrugged. "Well, if you've got a better idea.""Better than three of you wanderin' into the magic forest to bag a hunk of ham with nothin' but a little bitty huntin' knife?" Sawyer paused before he smirked in delight. "Hell no. Best idea I ever heard." Jack displayed a subtle smile at Sawyer's quip before he turned back to see Locke open the suitcase full of blades in his possession, and the brunette's grin quickly faded. Carrying a bunch of knives on a plane wasn’t exactly something one might call an everyday occurrence. Jack suddenly began to wonder just how many insane people he'd been traveling with.✦Kate and Michael volunteered to join Locke on his journey into the wilderness, which appeared an odd duo to Jack since they were clearly plenty of better choices amongst the group. Then again, he'd never hunted much himself, so he didn't know much on the matter. He carried a backpack full of supplies over to the tent and began to sort through it when Michael addressed him."Hey, Jack, right?" Michael asked with a nervous chuckle."Yeah, what's up?" Jack replied as he studied the man with interest."That's your daughter, isn't it? Playing with my boy Walt." Michael pointed towards the shore, and Jack witnessed the children being chased by the boy's dog in the shallow waves. He lightly laughed, glad to see them getting along so well."Yeah, Madison, she's my daughter," Jack answered with a faint grin, and Michael accompanied the brunette as he observed the two kids."Looks like they're getting along well. It's nice to see Walt spend time with another kid, rather than…" Michael delayed before he shook his head. "Anyway, since I'm gonna be joining Locke, I hoped you wouldn't mind watching him while I'm gone?" Jack bit his lip nervously at the unexpected request. He could barely concentrate on Maddie with everything going on, never mind adding another child. But the two looked so happy in each other's company, and Jack would hate to end that by declining the boy's father."Yeah, sure," Jack said, trying to hide his anxiety. Michael smiled and held out his hand for the doctor to shake. "Thanks, man, I promise he won't be any trouble." Jack nodded in reply and accepted his handshake, watching the man as he roamed over to inform his child of the situation."Look at you, so popular," Kate stated while strolling over to him. Jack peered in her direction with a smile, swaying his head as she teased him. "Seems like Maddie found another friend," the woman expressed while an envious state-of-mind took over. "I see it didn't take her long to trust him either. Still think she just needs time to get to know me?" Jack's smile dissolved, and he scowled at Kate, sensing the resentment in her statement."Kate, don't talk about her like that. She's been through a lot," Jack stated, not appreciating the frustration directed at his little girl. Kate lost eye contact with him, becoming very uncomfortable. The man sighed in irritation. "You wanna tell me why you've signed up to supposedly go boar hunting?" Looking up at him insulted, Kate angrily declared, "Supposedly? Like I'd have another reason to go?"Jack tipped his head with a raised eyebrow. At this point, Kate possessing a hidden agenda wasn't a secret to him, and he'd caught on to the act that concealed her true identity and motives. It never appeared to be anything harmful to anyone, but he now thought twice about trusting her. Kate shook her head in aggravation before removing a gadget from her backpack. She explained how Sayid instructed her to deposit it somewhere high along their journey, confident it would help find the source of the French woman's distress signal."So this isn't about boars?" Jack repeated, defending his earlier comment about her motivations.As she turned to walk away, Kate testified, "I'm a vegetarian."✦Walt and Maddie tossed the ball back and forth while Vincent desperately attempted to get it for himself. Until the mutt finally became impatient and pounced to snatch it away from the boy. Walt yelped as he fell over, hitting the ground with a thud."Vincent!" Walt shouted, chuckling while the dog licked him all over. Maddie ran over to help him up, forcing Vincent away with a grin when he pounced at her. "Where'd the ball go?" Walt questioned as he scanned the area. Maddie spotted it from the corner of her eye, and she tapped on the boy's shoulder to point it out. "Oh no," he said defeated, watching the ball roll into Sawyer's territory. Maddie moved forward to retrieve it, but Walt abruptly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. "Forget it, Maddie. If that crazy blonde guy catches us over there, he'll lose it."Maddie tilted her head in confusion. Sawyer hadn't ever shown any hostility towards her, and he didn't even appear to be nearby; she could simply run over and take the ball before anyone spotted her. The girl marched forward with determination and cautiously peered around to make sure no one was watching. Just as she dodged forward to acquire the ball, someone else reached out to seize it. Looking up, she witnessed Sawyer peering down with a giant smirk on his face."Well, well, what do we have here?" Sawyer vocalized with enthusiasm. "I know your daddy taught you better than to steal, Shorty."Stealing seemed like a strange word for it, but the child still looked at the ground in shame. Sawyer chuckled while eyeing her innocent response and kneeled down in front of her."Dontcha worry, we can work this out. Just gimme somethin' for it, and you can have the ball back, yeah?" Sawyer knew the girl didn't have anything worth wild to trade for it, and guilt hit his stomach for playing mind games with her. However, to make Maddie hate him like everyone else, this was how things needed to happen.Maddie peered back at Walt, and he shrugged. Facing Sawyer again, she presented a pleading gaze, not wanting to let her friend down."Hey, don't go gettin' all Cindy Lou Who on me," Sawyer said with endless humor. "Because, Baby Girl, my heart ain't growin' three sizes any bigger."The child suddenly became uneasy with him. This wasn’t the person she'd connected to in the past few days. She didn't know the man well, but she knew this wasn’t him. Maddie brushed her hand over her arm in defeat before turning to mope towards Walt in humiliation, and Sawyer's heart sank.Before he could stop himself, he exclaimed, "Wait!" Maddie turned back with a grin and ran back to the blonde in excitement."You're good, Shory, really good," Sawyer admitted, and he chuckled proudly at how well she maneuvered around his rules. Maddie tipped her head, puzzled by his statement, which caused the man to laugh even harder. "Mm-hmm." Sawyer held out the ball, and Maddie steadily accepted it from him. She glimpsed into the blonde's green eyes with a broad smirk and hugged him. Sawyer shocked once again by the child's affection, but he embraced her in return. He beamed from ear to ear and couldn't help wonder if she considered the hug a trade for the ball. Maddie lingered in the blonde's arms for a few moments until she finally freed him and ran back to her friend with pride. Sawyer stood up, watching them disappear."Damn it," he muttered, running his hand through his hair in frustration. It was never hard for him to detach from people; no one ever got under his skin the way Maddie had.✦As the sun cooked the ground, the survivors heated up while they carried out the preparations for the fuselage. Jack had occupied an open end of the plane, tossing wood from a nearby pile into it, but his subconscious was somewhere else entirely. Everyone seemed to depend on him more than he liked. They treated him like he was the leader, which Jack definitely didn't want. His focus was on Maddie alone; she was all that mattered to him. If someone required his help with an injury, he would attend to them, of course, but he withdrew from managing anything else.Yet for some reason, people continued to address him as if he were the head of the group. Claire even approached him at one point, asking if he would lead the memorial service for those that didn't make it — he declined her immediately. She had pushed the matter further, aiming to change his mind until he finally expressed in frustration that it isn't his thing. Furthermore, the group deserved someone stronger and smarter than himself; Jack just didn't have what it takes to lead them."Hey, Doc, you got a second?" Jack swerved around to see Boone behind him, and he lowered the cloth mask from his mouth, hoping the man wouldn't have another request revolving around leadership."What's up?" Jack asked out of breath."The woman's been sitting over there by herself. Maybe she's having trouble dealing with her husband," Boone explained, pointing towards the woman sitting on her own far from the crash. It's the same woman Jack had met on the plane and saved after the incident, Rose. "I don't think she's had anything to eat or drink. Think maybe you could talk to her?" Jack released a huff of exhaustion, reluctant to oblige him. What could he possibly say to make her struggle any better?"Why me?" Jack exclaimed. "I'm not a psychiatrist. I mean, maybe you should?""Just thought you might wanna do it," Boone answered while lifting his hands nonchalantly. "You're the one that saved her life."Jack hurled the pile of wood in his hands into the fuselage, exhaling as he watched Boone stroll away before his attention shifted to Rose again. She'd been kind to him on the flight, supplying reassurance when she sensed his doubt; repaying the favor was the least he could do. After finishing his current task, Jack grabbed a bottle of water with a blanket and traveled over to Rose. What he would say to her still evaded him, and he wondered if she'd even remember who he was."Hey," Jack said, placing the blanket around Rose's shoulders and sitting next to her. "Rose, right? You remember me?" He waited for some kind of response, but she stayed silent. "Seat 23A, you were asking me about my daughter." Jack adjusted the blanket on her as the wind attempted to blow it aside. "Everyone's getting pretty worried about you, Rose. If you want to be alone, that's fine, but you have to take care of yourself. You should really drink." Picking up the water bottle next to him, he offered it to her, but her stillness remained. Jack set the water bottle down in the sand while examining her with concern. The silence was something the man had grown used to because of Maddie, learning to adapt to it quite well in the four months she's been mute. Patience was the key to it. A lot of patience. Although his child had yet to talk, Jack was confident Rose would come around faster than a five-year-old who didn't comprehend the entire idea of death too well. Honestly, Jack could relate to the pain Rose was experiencing. Losing Haylee was one of the hardest things he'd ever gone through, and still, he felt a piece of him missing without her. At least Jack had known it was coming, having a whole year to prepare. Sure, it wasn't enough to help him mentally adjust, but he was grateful for the little time he got to say goodbye. Rose didn't get that opportunity, and her silence was more than warranted. Jack regarded her with a half-smile. "Okay, we don't have to talk. Let's just sit for a while." He rested his forearms on his knees to observe the ocean with her. Perhaps simply being there to remind her she wasn't alone was enough.✧
The EKG beeps echoed throughout the dimly lit hospital room while Jack sat next to the bed holding Haylee's hand. She'd been unconscious for a day and a half, and the brunette anxiously awaited her return. Although he grew terrified of her slipping away before he was ready. Would he ever be ready? He tried to hold back his tears at the thought.
Haylee was diagnosed with lung cancer before she and Jack had met. She'd already received treatment, but when the two became intimate with one another, she opened up about it, not wanting Jack to waste time with someone he could lose sooner than later. However, the likelihood of a recurrence was small. Jack gained comfort from such medical facts, and Haylee remained in good health throughout their relationship.
When Maddie turned four, the couple discovered her cancer had not only returned but spread to her bones. All year they struggled with the developing illness, but Haylee did her best to battle through it. Jack supported her every step of the way — doctor appointments, treatment cycles, even the smallest aches and pains; whenever she needed him, he was there.
Her unexpected pregnancy proved the hardest for them to handle, and Haylee's doctor recommended an abortion, describing it as the best option for the fetus since her body could no longer support and grow a healthy baby. Haylee instantly dismissed the idea. However, fate snatched the infant from her a month later when she miscarried. It killed Jack to lose a child he had yet to meet but seeing Haylee emotionally agonize over it hurt even more.
As a family, they'd undergone tremendous pain that year, but Jack wouldn't trade it for anything. He loved Haylee more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life. So if she had to walk into Hell, he would be right behind her without hesitation. God only knew how many times she did the same for him.
"Hey you," Haylee whispered, and Jack's heart skipped a beat as he raised his head to view her.
"Hey," he uttered, moving forward in his seat to clutch her hand tighter in both of his. Haylee's eyes struggled to stay open, and she weakly smiled at him before glimpsing around the room in confusion.
"What happened?" she asked, her voice raw and sore.
"You were at home with Maddie and passed out," Jack replied, reluctant to go on as he believed it would stress her more. "That was yesterday morning."
Haylee attempted to sit up, and pain coursed through her nerves as she shook uncontrollably. "Is Maddie okay? Where is she?"
Jack sat on the edge of the bed, gently making the woman lay back down.
"Hey, take it easy. Maddie's fine," he stated with a soft smile. "She's with my parents. They're bringing her over later tonight," he assured, relieved when she didn't fight him and laid back down.
Haylee harshly coughed while breathing in rough, and her palm caught a small amount of blood. Jack grabbed two wet washcloths from the bathroom, washing her hand with one before dabbing around her face with the other. Haylee had no words to express what it meant to have him there. It felt like things would be alright when she was with him, even though he couldn't fix it, not this time.
Jack inspected the woman with a troubled grin. Color had abandoned her skin, eyes somewhat red and swollen, and her lips had chapped slightly from dehydration. Her body trembled in pain as she fought to breathe normally. All the life he usually saw in her now diminished, but she still looked breathtaking to him. Unable to resist, he moved forward to kiss her anywhere he could, and the woman giggled at his affections.
"What?" Haylee asked, knowing he had something on his mind.
Jack proceeded to shower her with kisses for a moment before he rested his forehead against hers, caressing their noses together while releasing a long sigh.
"You're beautiful," he answered.
Haylee shook her head and playfully rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure I look amazing."
She'd turned it into a joke, but Jack was serious. He ran his hand within her dark hair while peering into her green eyes.
"You'll always be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
Tears almost erupted from her eyes, and Haylee beamed at the sweet sentiment, but Jack saw fear hidden there too. She was losing faith in herself and how much longer she might resist her sickness.
"You're gonna make it through this, Haylee," Jack whispered, lifting her hand and kissing it. She provided a longing expression and contemplated saying what she was certain he didn't want to hear.
"Jack, I think it's time." Her voice faded some as she tried not to cry.
Jack stubbornly shook his head. "No, with the right treatment, you can come back from this. On average, people in stage four can live for five years, and some longer." He cleared his throat and reminded himself to be her husband, not her doctor. "You just have to keep fighting."
"Well, Jack, statistics aren't everything. I wasn't supposed to relapse either, but here we are," Haylee responded. She hated being the one who had to give him a reality check.
Jack pursed his lips at the response, and panic set loose inside him; he didn't understand why she was giving up.
"So what, you're just gonna stop trying?" Jack said with frustration, his aggression leaving Haylee at a loss for words.
"I don't want to die, Jack," she replied, striving to be as sensitive as possible towards his reaction. "But I am whether I want to or not." Jack released her and rubbed his palm over his face as he stood walking away from the bed; he refused to admit defeat. "My body is dying. Treatment may last a few days at best, but I'm not gonna make it another week let alone a few more years."
The woman grunted quietly, clutching her abdomen as a sharp pain stabbed her insides. Her organs were gradually shutting down like someone had flipped a switch on them. Exhausted and weak, she took a deep breath and persisted in getting through to her husband.
"I'll be in and out of the hospital all the time. At home, I'll probably be too sick to even take care of Maddie. You'd be working full time and caring for her and me. It's just too much, Jack. You can't possibly want that."
"I want you!" Jack yelled, and his trembling body veered to face her. "I don't care what it takes! I'll do whatever I have to if it will keep you here." It sounded so selfish when he heard himself say it out loud. "You can't…" He stumbled over his words. "Maddie needs you. I need you."
Anger and depression overwhelmed him, and he turned his back to her once more. He didn't want her to see the tears streaming down his face. It broke the woman's heart to see him suffering. Although Haylee was the one dying, she felt worse for him. Goodbye was never easy, but for Jack, it was damn near impossible.
"Hey, come here," she sweetly requested while holding out her arm.
Jack gave her a tearful glance, biting his lip with hesitation before he finally sauntered towards the bed. Haylee sluggishly slid over to make room for him, and he wrapped his arms around her fragile body. Burying his face into her neck, he released an intense sob while the woman cradled his quivering form.
His heart was breaking. Many people thought that was merely an expression, but the experience of a broken heart was very literal. Everything in his life was collapsing right in front of him, and Jack was helpless to stop it.
"Babe, you know that if I believed I might come back from this, then I would fight," Haylee expressed. "I know you hate not being in control, but we both know that battle would just end up being more painful for you and Maddie."
She was right, but that didn't make it any easier to take. Jack wasn't able to accept the truth; It was too hard.
"Jack," Haylee whispered while kissing his forehead. "You've got to let me go."
✦As the two continued to gaze out towards the ocean, Jack completely lost track of time. It was so peaceful to relax in the calm breeze while looking into the horizon, even if his thoughts were ones of heartache."His fingers swelled," Rose abruptly announced."Sorry?" Jack asked with confusion."Bernard, my husband, his hands swell up whenever we fly," she repeated, and a slight smile hit her lips as she grabbed the ring on her necklace."The altitude," Jack retorted, nothing but logical facts coming to mind."He started having me hold on to his wedding ring whenever we took a plane trip," Rose explained. "I always wore it around my neck for safekeeping. Just until we landed." Jack peered at the ground, understanding how much she missed him, and he wished he could do more. "How's your baby doing?" She glanced at him with curiosity. "I see she's not attached to your arm anymore."Jack laughed at her remark and realized that Maddie had indeed been glued to him less since the crash."She's fine," he answered. "Think she's actually enjoying it here. Life's a bit stressful back home." A frown replaced his previous smile, and Rose nodded her head lightly while she examined him."How long ago did her mother die?" she asked.Jack instantly gawked in astonishment. "How did you—""The way Maddie clings to you, and your own display of sadness on the plane. You're still wearing your wedding ring, so you're married. But when you talk, it feels like you're missing something." Rose chuckled and raised her eyebrow while holding up Bernard's wedding ring. She understood the experience all too well now. "Perhaps I'm wrong, or her mother's simply not in the picture anymore, but something tells me that's not the case." A hollow sensation entered Jack's stomach. He didn't know how to talk about Haylee; It hurt too much. Yet it was always on his mind."Four months," Jack whispered. "She died four months ago." Rose saw the same hurt and guarded man from the plane replace his current demeanor."I'm sorry," she replied. "Rose, you shouldn't be out here alone," Jack calmly said, desiring a change of subject. "You're suffering from post-traumatic shock.""Aren't we all?" Rose grinned, and the man laughed at her accuracy; he enjoyed being in her company."Yeah. I guess we are," Jack answered."You have a nice way about you," Rose expressed, grasping the water bottle by her side. "A good soul, patient, caring." She witnessed his demeanor changing again from her kind words. "I'm sure you're a wonderful father."Jack considered himself unworthy of such compliments."Thanks, but..." He looked into the distance and sighed. "Doesn't really seem that way." Rose half-smiled and he quickly shifted the conversation again. "After the sun goes down, we're going to burn the fuselage. It's just something we have to do." Jack gave a grim expression of sympathy before gesturing towards the plane. "There's gonna be a memorial service back at the camp. For those...for those who didn't make it. For everyone to say goodbye.""I'd like to be there for that," she stated with an understanding smile, and Jack nodded his head, happy Rose was handling the situation so well."Okay." Jack stood to help the woman up. "Maybe if you wanted to say something. You know, about your husband.""What?" Rose replied in surprise."I'm just saying if you wanted to say goodbye to Bernard," Jack explained."Doctor, my husband is not dead." Rose declared with resolve before walking towards the camp. Jack followed only hearing denial in the woman's statement."Rose, he was in the tail section of the plane," he calmly remarked. "It broke off in mid-flight. I'm sorry, but everyone who was in the rear of the plane is gone."Rose halted while giving him a solemn expression. She was a wise woman, that was clear to see. Someone who had encountered enough in life to know exactly what she believed, and in her heart, she knew her husband was alive."They're probably thinking the same thing about us," Rose stated, keeping their gaze for a moment before she progressed onward.Jack stood in disbelief of her blind faith on the matter. It was improbable, and the evidence on the subject was plain as day. He pondered his thoughts while glancing towards the jungle. To his astonishment, he witnessed an older man in a suit watching him from afar. But not just any man; it was his father. Jack gaped at the sight and rapidly moved several steps forward. A disturbing sensation spread throughout his whole body, and a sudden chill went down his spine. Impossible, his father was dead."Doctor," Rose yelled as she turned back to look at him. Jack glimpsed in her direction, and she noted his troubled appearance. "You coming?"Peering back at the trees, Jack's breath hitched; the ghost had vanished.✦The day slipped away, and the swelling heat faded into a refreshing breeze while the sun began to set on the horizon. Kate and Michael returned from the jungle, the man sporting a fresh gash on his leg. Everyone was disappointed to hear they'd come back empty-handed but were even more terrified to see Locke missing.Maddie ran around the beach searching for her father, hoping he'd finished his work for the day, but was disappointed to discover him addressing Kate by the shore; the woman sharing the unfortunate news of Locke's death with him. Maddie endured a heavyweight in her chest. She hated to look at them together, and the child wanted nothing more than to drag him away. Once she saw Kate caress his forearm, alarms initiated in her brain, and she quickly marched towards them.As soon as she reached the two adults, Maddie tugged on the man's arm to gain his attention. Jack's focus broke from Kate, and his expression converted into a smile at the sight of his daughter."Hey, Monkey," he said before kneeling down in front of her. "You have fun today?" Maddie nodded her head and beamed, happy she'd snatched his attention from the curly-haired woman.Kate's posture shrank in defeat as she watched Maddie move closer to hug the man. Jack wrapped his arms around his child and whispered in her ear. Maddie giggled at the feeling of his rough stubble tickling her ear and cheek, pushing on his chest to escape. Jack only drew her into him tighter, laughing with her as he continued to torture her.It was the most endearing scene Kate had ever witnessed, and she became jealous. Although she wasn't sure if it was because she had feelings for Jack and Maddie's dislike made it hard to get close to him. Or merely the fact that she'd never shared such tender moments with her own father. Maddie and Jack's bond was special beyond words, and Kate desperately yearned for a piece.Jack gave his daughter one last rough kiss on the cheek before letting her out of his grasp, and Maddie grinned while rubbing her now numb and raw skin. She playfully scowled at him, vowing her revenge. Jack chuckled in response and leaned their foreheads together.Kate observed the commotion around the plane as many were preparing for the memorial."What's everyone doing?" she asked. Jack looked up at her before he stood and began to answer the woman's question.Maddie's brow furrowed in anger, and she became even more determined to obtain her father's attention. She grabbed his hand and tugged on it once more, but this time, he only squeezed her palm to acknowledge her presence. Maddie pulled on him several more times in frustration, her intent unwavering. But the girl's actions made no impact as the two continued to converse. She groaned in her annoyance and tried to think of some way to gain the man's focus.Examining her surroundings, the girl did a double-take when she viewed her grandfather in the far distance. She gasped with excitement and tugged on Jack's arm again, but he still didn't look at her. Becoming impatient, Maddie moved in front of him and eagerly pulled on the lower half of his shirt while she stared up at him.Jack chuckled, amused by the child's persistence. "Maddie, what is it?"She pointed towards the tree's afraid Christian would disappear before her father saw him. Jack glanced up, and his amusement faded almost instantly at the sight of his father. Kate peered in the same direction but detected nothing. Christian's attention was fixed on his son until he turned to disappear into the jungle, and Maddie let go of Jack to run after her grandfather."Maddie!" Jack yelled as he chased her, Kate trailing behind in confusion.Maddie entered the area where Christian had vanished, disheartened when she encountered no one. Feeling her father's grasp on her shoulders, she glanced up at the breathless man. Jack broke eye contact with her as the trees began to rustle in front of them, and Locke stepped into view with his belt fastened around a dead boar's leg as he dragged it behind him."Locke," Jack uttered in relief, and Locke smiled at them with self-confidence, proud that he'd succeeded in his task.✧
Jack stood in the hospital hallway, looking into Haylee's room as he watched a nurse help switch out her IV fluids, feeling helpless, sad, and alone. How could he go on without her? She made the world make sense and kept him level headed when he needed it most, and on a more terrifying note, how on earth was he going to raise Maddie on his own? Doubts and fear weighed on him like heavy chains that forced him to his knees, convincing him to abandon all hope and reason in favor of his grief.
"Jack!"
Leering down the hall, he saw his parents strolling towards him while Maddie ran ahead, eager for her father to hold her. Jack kneeled down beaming as the girl's arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed her firmly. He sensed the desperation in their embrace and could only imagine how scared she was. The brunette pulled her away from him and glimpsed into her sad and confused eyes. He and Haylee had explained the situation to her months ago, but it was still hard for her to understand everything happening. The thought of her mother being gone forever was understandably too daunting, and her brain chose disconcertion over reality. He provided a weak grin and wished there was a better way to explain.
"How's she doing?" Christian asked when they finally approached.
Jack stood up, staying silent before he shook his head and sighed in disappointment. Their expressions turned to anguish, and Margo grabbed her son's hand to comfort him.
"Can we see her?" she inquired.
"Yeah, of course." Jack nodded as he gestured to the room, and his parents advanced through the doorway.
He held Maddie's hand and trailed behind them but stopped when the girl refused to move forward. He gazed down at her, baffled by her actions until he noticed her trembling with terror in her eyes.
"Hey," Jack said as he picked her up, and they exchanged concerned glances. "It's still your mom, sweetie. She's just sick."
He smiled in reassurance, but her terrified state of mind prevailed.
"You know how when you're sick, you become tired and not like yourself?" he asked, and the child nodded her head. "That's how Mommy feels right now, only...a lot worse." He paused, wondering where he should draw the line. What was too much for her to hear? "I know this is all scary, Monkey, but your mom really wants to see you. It would make her so happy. You think you can be brave for her?"
Maddie hesitated with unease for a long while. Eventually, she nodded her head in agreement and strived to find courage in herself.
Jack strolled in the hospital room with Maddie still in his arms. She leaned close to him while nervously fisting his shirt in her palms. Margo was sitting on a chair next to the bed holding the sick woman's hand, and a bit of joy entered the atmosphere as Haylee laughed at Christian's light-hearted quips. When she saw her daughter, she immediately glowed in happiness but grew discouraged as she noticed how tightly the child was clinging to Jack.
"Hey, Baby Girl," Haylee said with a tender grin.
Maddie smiled in return, but as she witnessed her mother's physical state, she grew more terrified and saddened, and she was uncertain of how to act as if meeting the woman for the first time. Haylee bit her lip to keep back the tears, realizing how scared Maddie was of her suffering body, but she was too weak to control her emotions. Liquid swelled up in her eyes as Haylee covered her mouth and glanced away, and the girl's fears dissipated, replaced by a desire to comfort her mother.
Maddie reached forward, and Jack handed the child over. As they both embraced each other, Haylee's emotions boiled to the surface as she wept. Jack sat on the edge of the bed, studying the two mindfully while melancholy sank back into the room. Maddie lifted herself up to wipe the tears away from her mother's face, and Haylee lightly chuckled before clutching the girl's hand to kiss multiple times. Maddie now felt silly about how scared she'd been earlier. Her mother pulled her into another hug, and the girl snuggled into her warm figure. There were things Haylee wanted to say to her alone, knowing she would never have another chance.
"Can I have a minute with her alone?" Haylee requested, and the others nodded their heads in approval.
Margo kissed her on the head with a motherly smile, and Christian squeezed Haylee's hand before his wife led him out of the room. Jack leaned in, softly kissing the woman's lips, wishing it didn't have to end as he tore away from her.
"I love you," he whispered. "I'll be right outside if you need me." Jack glanced between both his girl's before he playfully pinched Maddie on her side, making her giggle.
Stepping into the hallway, he rubbed his forehead while all his emotions hit him at once. Christian grasped Jack's shoulder and peered into his son's tired eyes.
"You let her parents know?" Christian questioned, noting Jack's sudden change in posture.
"I called Scott," Jack replied with a slight sigh. "Said he would be here as soon as he can, but living all the way in Texas, I doubt he'll get here in time."
"And her mother?" Christian asked, and Jack looked at him with a frustrated glare. Both his parents knew how horrible Haylee's mother was, especially to her. "She really said something that bad, huh?"
Jack's head swayed in discontent. "I recall her exact words being: I couldn't care less and good riddance."
Gaping at him in shock, Christian replied, "Jesus, really?"
"Yeah, the woman's a piece of work," Jack answered, clenching his jaw with extreme aggravation.
"You didn't tell Haylee, did you?" Christian asserted.
"No!" Jack quickly responded. "Of course not, she doesn't need to hear that." He crossed his arms, watching through the hospital room doorway as Maddie focused on her mother while she talked and tenderly stroked the girl's hair. "Haylee doesn't want her here anyway, and frankly, neither do I, not after everything that happened last year."
Christian moved to his son's side and gazed into the room with him. "Maddie hasn't said anything since this all started yesterday."
"Yeah, I noticed how quiet she's been," Jack stated. The death of a parent was something no child should have to go through so early in life. "She's taking this all really hard, not that anyone can blame her."
How Maddie would handle everything when it finally happened was beyond him. He just knew it wasn't fair and suspected she'd become more fragile from the occurrence. That's how Maddie was; she experienced things deeply, and like her father, she had a hard time letting go.
✧
Maddie rested her head on her mother's shoulder while gazing up at her lovingly, and Haylee touched their foreheads together. She clutched the child's hand and kissed it before releasing a sigh in exhaustion.
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever created in my life, Maddie. Nothing else can compare. You are my masterpiece," Haylee expressed while she poked the girl's nose, causing her to giggle. "I want you to always remember that."
Maddie smiled, committing every word to memory. She shut her eyes as her mother ran her hand through her hair, pushing a strand behind her ear.
"I need you to promise you'll take care of your dad for me, okay? He's gonna need you more than anyone else." Maddie nodded her head; it was a promise she wouldn't take lightly. "Sometimes, he will make mistakes, do things that make you angry or sad, maybe even hurt you. But he loves you very much and would do anything for you. Everything he does is for you and me." She paused, swallowing harshly as pain entered her appearance. "Just have to cut him a little slack sometimes."
Maddie wanted to speak and tell her mother she understood. Even more than that, she wanted to beg her not to leave, but she could not find her voice. Instead, she hugged her painstakingly as she cried, and Haylee squeezed the girl while kissing the top of her head.
"I love you, Baby Girl," she whispered. "I'll always love you."
Tears poured down Maddie's cheeks as she closed her eyes. She listened to the sound of her mother's steady heartbeat and ragged breath, noticing the beats were becoming lengthier. Haylee's arms then loosened, and the child moved back to see her eyes sealed. She shook her head while pushing on her mother's body to wake her up when the machine next to the bed started to beep much louder, accompanied by an alarm like noise.
The girl's sobs grew as she perpetually shook Haylee's lifeless form. She didn't hear the doctors and nurses rush in, nor see who seized her from the bed to carry her elsewhere. Maddie kicked and screamed while reaching out for her mother, desperately attempting to escape the person holding her.
"Maddie, it's me!" Jack exclaimed to calm his child. "It's okay, baby, I'm here!"
The brunette walked into the hallway, keeping her close to his body, and Maddie quit struggling in her exhaustion. She tightened around him and mourned on his shoulder. Jack stroked her hair and hushed her sobs while the staff attempted to revive the woman he loved. The sound of the defibrillator charging up made his stomach drop, and he jolted each time they shocked her. It seemed to go on forever as the noises became muffled and time slowed down. He only listened to the beeping that signaled the woman's heartbeat as it finally faded into a flat line, and just like that, she was gone.
Jack shut his eyes, weeping with his daughter as he hid his face next to her cheek. Maddie clutched him even tighter when despair invaded her insides. She felt if she didn't hold on to him, he would disappear too. So Maddie would hold him, and she wouldn't ever let go.
✦Both father and daughter relaxed in the tent as they gazed at the night sky, and Jack held his child close to him while she sat in his lap. Claire approached them with her broad bright smile as always."We're about to start the service, are you two coming?" she asked with slight enthusiasm. She was proud to lead such a gathering and speak for those who wouldn't have a proper burial among their own families.Maddie quickly jumped up and grabbed Claire's hand, but became puzzled when looking back to her father who remained in place."You go ahead. I'll head over in a bit," Jack said with a faint grin. Maddie ran over to him and shook her head while clutching his shoulders. "It's okay, baby. You go with Claire, and I'll catch up."She watched him with concern before peering back at Claire, who smiled before holding her hand out to the young girl."Go on, Monkey," Jack said, chuckling as he pecked her cheek. She delivered a long sigh before swerving around to run towards Claire. Maddie glanced back to her father one last time as they walked away, and she sensed the deep sorrow inside him.✦Huddled together, the survivors listened while Claire read off names and displayed belongings of those now gone. Behind them, the plane brightly glowed while consumed by flames. Maddie wandered within the crowd, searching through the many faces. She felt lost amongst them until she viewed Sawyer far apart from the others, and she raced over, cautiously standing by his side. He peered down to see the child grinning at him, but the man's face remained emotionless as he glanced back to the bright fire. Maddie gazed into the heat while she listened to Claire read more names of the dead. Desolation enveloped the atmosphere and swallowed it whole. It was a bleakness the child remembered well, and tears entered her eyes as she reminisced about her mother. Pain sank into her chest, threatening to drag her down the hole she'd fought hard to escape. Maddie reached up and held Sawyer's hand, making the blonde leer at her once more. The child wiped the wetness from her cheeks, and Sawyer exhaled in defeat before his large palm secured around her small hand. Maddie leaned against him, comforted by the man's presence. Sawyer smiled like he was some sentimental fool. It was just too damn difficult to break the connection they shared, and his motivation to do so was growing thin.✦Jack lingered in the tent and listened to Claire in the distance. His fingers held the small picture of him and Haylee, brushing his thumb over the woman while liquid streamed down his face. The agony was gnawing on him, causing his grief to convert to a physical form. Suddenly, he grew sick, and his nerves sent out signals to each part of his body, making him conscious of his discomfort. Jack covered his face with his palm as he aimed to pull himself back together.For a moment, peace set in and warmth encased around him. It was as if he could hear Haylee in his mind and heart, telling him that in time, everything would be okay.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Around six in the morning, Jack began his daily routine, which seemed to start earlier each passing day. Although that hardly mattered as sleep didn't agree with him lately. He only laid down at night as a comfort to Maddie; her young mind needed rest, and she slept best when in his company. When it came to himself, however, he worried little about such things, getting a couple hours at most. Other matters required his attention; his own well-being could wait. And though Jack still refused to secure a legitimate leadership role, he acted as if everything depended on him. In the mornings, he collected supplies for everyone. When people needed his attention, he gave it freely with few questions. Offering help was a part of his nature.Maddie wandered among the shore, searching for her father. To her own dismay, she had woken up alone. She understood his value to everyone else—she couldn't recall a time when people didn't depend on him—but such pressure often led to his own needs being ignored. When her mother was alive, she never had to worry about it. While Jack remained busy with everyone else's concerns, Haylee made sure he took care of himself too. But with her now gone, Maddie felt responsible for him. She promised to take care of him, and she planned to do just that. Eventually, she spotted him lounging on the beach, looking out towards the horizon in deep thought. She ran in his direction and used the element of surprise to tackle him down. Jack grunted in shock when she crashed into his arms, his side hitting the ground from the sheer force. He shifted onto his back and laughed as the child hugged him."Good morning to you too, Monkey," he said, returning her display of affection. Maddie sat upon his chest and instantly saw the exhaustion weighing on him; she needed to make him rest.Jack peered at her and speculated what she might be mulling over in her mind. She resembled her mother so much. He saw bits of himself too, but nowhere near as much as Haylee. A petite oval-shaped face with green eyes; a rounded nose, small semi-thin lips, and gorgeous silky dark brown hair. To this day, it still astounded Jack he helped create someone so beautiful inside and out.Maddie slid off his chest to lie on her side next to him, and he followed her lead, doing the same. They assessed one another until the child brought her hand towards his face, placing her palm over his sights and shutting his eyes. Jack chuckled, opening them when she withdrew."Maddie." He chuckled. "What are you doing?" Maddie offered a minor smile while closing her eyes and nuzzling into the sand. "You trying to get me to sleep, is that it?" She nodded and shut his eyes again. Jack waited a moment before becoming rebellious and peeking through one eye. Maddie shook her head, reaching up to seal it once more, and he smiled, delighted by her tenderness. "Alright, you win." He hadn't planned on lounging long, but getting an hour of sleep couldn't hurt.It didn't take long for him to drift off from the world, and Maddie smirked at her accomplishment, beginning to trace his facial features as her mother once did to comfort her. Jack found her motivations endearing and appreciated her desire to care for him. She'd always been an empathetic child, never hesitating to comfort those in need. It drew people close to her—as well as her age, which made her intentions appear more genuine. But she also read people well, and after the event with Haylee's mother, if she found someone untrustworthy, she'd rarely change her mind. Furthermore, the girl was almost always correct in her assumptions."Jack!" Charlie shouted, unhinged as he ran over to them. Jack's eyes shot open before he stood up with haste, and Maddie clutched at his palm. "There's someone out there!""What?" Jack asked in confusion."The current! There's someone out there! Look!" He pointed to a woman as she screamed for help, struggling to keep her head above the water. "I woke up, and it's just… I don't swim," Charlie said as Jack sprang forward, discarding his shirt and dashing into the ocean. Maddie followed but stopped at the water, terror reminding her she couldn't swim either. Everyone gathered around to witness the incident unfold, yet no one dived in to aid him. Another sign of all the pressures weighing on him.✦A heavy dose of regret dragged Jack down as he trudged through the sand with a bag of supplies. He failed to save the woman, finding Boone drowning instead as he attempted his own rescue mission. It forced Jack to choose between the two, and he did. Kate approached, sharing information on the woman while doing her best to reassure him of his efforts—but he profoundly disagreed."We've been here six days, and I never said a word to her," Jack stated, expressing resentment towards himself. "There's forty-seven of us, and I never said a single word to her.""Jack, you tried.""No, I didn't." Several emotions swelled inside him but mostly anger, and he wouldn't let anyone persuade him to go easy on himself. "I thought I could bring Boone back and still have the time. I was... there... in the water…" He peered at the ground as emptiness consumed his gut. "I didn't try. I decided not to go after her." As he raised his head to meet her gaze, something in the distance caught his eye. A man—who closely resembled his father—stood in the shallow water watching him."Jack?" Kate said as he walked past her, eyes fixed on the ocean. "Are you okay?"When Jack finally blinked, the man disappeared without a trace. He swung around, appearing deranged as he stepped closer to her. "Did you see that?""What?" Kate asked, and the brunette pointed to the area in question. "Standing there in the water, there was a man!" Kate stared at the mild waves hitting the beach, and her expression turned into one of concern for his mental state. "You didn't see that?""Jack, when was the last time you slept?"The comment made Jack feel isolated, remembering he lost the one person he could talk to about such things. How he longed for Haylee's company. Longed to tell her how his father's death affected him. She knew him better than anyone. Nobody understood the madness in his mind as well as she did."I need to put this with the rest of the gear," he responded, avoiding her question as he proceeded with his task.✦Jack spent most of the day being productive, not wanting to dwell on earlier events. It did the trick until he realized he basically abandoned Maddie after the incident. It seemed ridiculous that his priorities remained such a mess; then again, he'd never been skilled at prioritizing. As a doctor, he'd mastered it, but in every other aspect of his life, he struggled to find order in the chaos. He neared the tent, hoping to find Maddie but discovered something else entirely. It was another ghost from his past. Haylee sat next to their child, peacefully watching her draw. Jack stepped backward, now convinced he was losing his mind, but once again, he blinked too soon, and the woman vanished. He took in a deep breath, idling for a moment while attempting to comprehend what he'd just seen.As he entered the tent, Maddie smiled at his presence; she never failed in making him feel important. He kissed her forehead and crouched in front of the torn-up chair, placing his arms on her sides. Fear lingered in his eyes, and she tilted her head with a sympathetic stare."Sweetie, when I was talking to Kate the other day, did you see your grandpa?" Maddie inspected him for a few seconds—trying to understand what worried him—and calmly nodded, continuing to study his body language. "Have you seen your mother?"The child's eyes widened, and her curiosity doubled as she shook her head with apprehension. Jack ran his palm over his face, more confused than ever. It made no sense for them both to hallucinate the same person at the same time. Hell, it made little sense for Maddie to hallucinate at all, given her healthy state. He pondered over several medical theories, but it only rewarded him with a headache."Hey, Jack!" Hurley shouted as he slowly jogged closer to the tent, and Jack groaned in annoyance. What could they possibly need him for now? As the brunette stood to greet him, he stumbled slightly from dizziness, looking as if he might faint. "Woah." Hurley studied him with genuine concern. "You look tired, brother.""I'm fine," Jack said, expressing some judgment towards his observation. "What's up?""We've got a problem." He pointed to Charlie as he carried over a large red suitcase, placing it on the coolers. Hurley urged the musician to open it, but he hesitated when seeing Maddie among them."Maybe not in front of the kid?" Charlie suggested, and Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling with impatience."She's fine." He moved forward and ran his fingers through Maddie's hair. "Just tell me what's going on." Charlie nodded as the man's glare prompted him to open the case, revealing the pile of half-filled water bottles."This is all that's left," Hurley stated as Jack sauntered over to examine the supplies."How many?""Eighteen," Charlie answered, studying the man's reaction to the news. "Even if we divvied it up and split the bottles in half, it still wouldn't be enough for forty-seven people.""Forty-six," Jack said, the events of that morning still plaguing his mind. "There's forty-six of us now.""People are gonna freak out if they hear about this, man," Hurley expressed. Maddie listened carefully to their conversation. Despite the troubling news, she didn't appear overly concerned. She knew her father would fix the situation. He solved problems better than anyone, and panic was a rare sight to see on him."What should we tell them?" Charlie questioned."I don't know," Jack answered, striving to remain neutral as they pressured him for a solution."What should we do with the stuff we've got?""I don't know," Jack firmly repeated, his rage stirring underneath the surface. Both men gawked at him with blank expressions, waiting for a command, and he shook his head in irritation. He quickly grabbed the bag of medicine, searching for a remedy to cure his worsened headache. Maddie noticed the tension in his actions and felt terrible about her previous thoughts; even she expected him to have all the answers."We should leave it in the tent, yeah?" Charlie suggested, watching him scour through the pack. "Probably better if no one knows how little is left.""Maybe the dog can find water?" Hurley added. Jack's headache morphed into a migraine, and he began to rummage the bag with a more desperate force. "I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure they can find water." Charlie smirked at his friend's idea, finding it a tad far fetched. "You can tell the others were running low, that way we can ration it. Then you can decide about—""I'm not deciding anything!" Jack threw the pack aside in anger, and Maddie sank into her chair, aiming to look submissively smaller. Charlie and Hurley produced troubled and confused expressions."Why not?" Hurley finally questioned.Jack gawked in disbelief. No matter how hard he tried, no one took the hint. He didn't want to make these kinds of decisions. Not out of laziness or lack of sympathy but from the experience of letting people down before. The man exhaled and exited the tent, walking a few paces ahead. He didn't know how to handle all the incessant demands, and the weight grew unbearable.✧
The hospital board of directors exited the meeting room, and Jack trailed behind, turning to walk in the opposite direction. The meeting felt unreal to him, resembling something closer to a nightmare. Christian had killed a woman in surgery while under the influence and tried to sweep it under the rug, but Jack knew him better; it was his fault alone. Although the knowledge he possessed did little to protect him from the man's manipulation. At first, he refused to go along with his father's lie, but Christian tapped into his weakness, molding him with talk of pride and acceptance. The young boy who yearned for his father's approval awakened, coerced into a loyalty mindset rather than his normal honest one. When the patient's pregnancy was revealed, however, it changed everything.
Christian played not only him but everyone else; even the woman's husband fell prey to his manipulation. All Jack could think about was his own family. If Haylee died while pregnant with Maddie because of another doctor's negligence, no force on earth could stop him from seeking vengeance. He unveiled the truth to the hospital board, betraying his father, and costing him everything. It didn't matter to him now, though. Not while he stormed down the hall in a fit of rage. Christian remained a stubborn man with little regard for anyone but himself, and Jack would no longer turn a blind eye simply because of the word family.
"Jack!" Christian yelled from behind, but his son ignored and proceeded down the hall. "Jack!" He finally caught up, forcing him to stop and acknowledge him.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me about the pregnancy!" Jack interrogated.
"It wasn't relevant."
"Wasn't relevant!" Jack shouted, moving forward with intense hostility in his stance. "A woman and her child are dead!" A few people stopped to glance at them, and Christian urged his son to calm down.
"It was a mistake, Jack. People make mistakes, and I told you it'll never happen again."
"Yeah, and like an idiot, I believed you!" Jack gazed upon him with nothing but disappointment as the situation forced him to take drastic measures. "Look... I don't want you around Maddie anymore." Panic instantly subsided in his father's piercing blue eyes. "Not until you get some help." Jack shook his head—ashamed to call the man before him his father—and turned to walk away. Frozen in place, Christian watched him leave and terror held him hostage for a few seconds before a counter-argument presented itself.
"Jack, wait!" He ran forward to block his son's path. "You're right, I... I screwed up. I deserve to have my license taken away, and I will get help. I promise." Jack's expression softened some, surprised by his desperation. "Just please… please don't involve Maddie in this."
"Dad, I—"
"Son, don't take my granddaughter away from me." Christian half-smiled, an expression Jack only ever saw when real hurt played on his heart. "You know what she means to me."
"What happens if I don't?" Jack suggested in a soft and protective tone. "One day, you decide you're sober enough to drive Maddie home, ignorantly still telling yourself you know your limits, and she becomes another one of your irrelevant casualties. Do you think I'd forgive myself for allowing that to happen?"
"Jack," Christian uttered, his voice straining in sadness. "You know that I'd never do anything to hurt her, and I can change. Give me a chance to prove it."
An internal conflict settled inside Jack's mind as he considered his options. Although his motives were sometimes out of place, his father had good intentions, and he wanted to believe he might really change. But he also needed to protect his baby, the only light left in his world. It seemed damn near impossible for him to determine the right choice, but ultimately, he'd already decided.
"No," he stated, unsympathetic towards the man's feelings. Christian would only view it as punishment, but this wasn't about hurting him. Jack wanted to raise the stakes, hoping to alter the man's perspective. "You wanna be apart of Maddie's life?" His stare grew intense and cold. "Earn it."
✦After roaming through the camp for an hour, Jack returned to the tent, finding Maddie fast asleep on the sand with her pen and paper still in hand. He smiled at how adorable she looked, remembering how often he'd awake late at night just to watch her peacefully sleep. The endless love he felt for her never ceased to amaze him. He kneeled down to pick up her drawing supplies and studied her artwork. She hadn't yet reached a high skill level, but she was far beyond the stick figure phase. However, given her mother's talent, he didn't doubt her improvement with time. Most of the drawings appeared to depict recent events, a crashed plane, two children chasing a dog, moments she must have found meaningful. But the picture of the sad man surrounded by people stole his attention—having a good idea who that man represented. He placed the items aside and brushed his hand through her velvet-like mane. Her concern for him never went unnoticed, but he still wished to hide his pain. If he ever achieved such a goal, it would be a miracle. Maddie knew him too well, seeing what others missed in him as her mother once did.Jack perched himself on the soft cushions laying on top of the coolers, relaxing his forehead in his palm. His head was still pounding from extreme exhaustion, and if he kept pushing his limits, it wouldn't end well. He lay back against the plane seats behind him and shut his eyes, listening to the serene atmosphere as he drifted away from reality."Why didn't you leave me?"Jack's eyes shot open, seeing Boone outside the tent while scowling at him. He sighed and leaned forward to rub his aching skull."Not now, man.""I could have made it back," Boone said, annoyed when Jack remained silent. "What? Not gonna answer me? I told you to leave me!""You were drowning." Jack's composure diminished as the conversation persisted, and he wished Boone would take the hint."You should have saved her.""But I didn't save her," Jack said while jolting ahead to stand in front of his accuser. "And neither did you." He hesitated, waiting for the message to sink in before marching away in anger. Boone trailed behind him, relentless in his efforts."You think you're all noble and heroic for coming after me? I was doing fine! You're not the only one who knows what to do around here, you know that?" Boone quickly blocked the man's path and Jack exhaled in frustration. "I run a business!" He shouted. "Who appointed you our Savior?"The rhetorical question cut Jack more than he'd ever let on. Since the crash, he'd spent most of his time worrying about everyone else, neglecting his and sometimes even Maddie's needs. Being labeled the so-called hero out of obsession disheartened him and decreased his desire to help anyone else."Fine, Boone. Next time you're drowning, I'll sit on the sidelines." The younger man's color grew red as his wrath devoured him, the remark cutting his already wounded pride like a sharp blade."You really think you can take care of everyone here?" Boone asked, ready to cut him down in retaliation. "You can barely take care of her!" He pointed towards the man's sleeping child. "I hear Sawyer saved her life twice since the crash. Where were you then, Jack?" The statement produced the desired effect as Jack clenched his jaw with rage. "Or is that why you have a hero complex? So you don't feel bad about being a shitty fa—" Jack abruptly seized him by his shirt, cutting off his vile words. Panic settled into Boone's expression, and he immediately regretted his decision to involve Maddie in the conversation. Jack's hands trembled, and his breathing became harsh like a wild bull ready to charge. But his fixation broke when he eyed the same man from that morning, once again watching him from a distance. The man idled for a moment before disappearing into the trees, and Jack released his victim to follow—needing to know if it was really his father. He approached the trees, and amongst the green foliage, the man stood with his back turned to him. Jack stretched his arm forward with a shaky hand, but just as he was in reach, the man whirled around, causing him to stumble onto the ground."Dad?"Christian remained silent as he walked off further into the jungle, and Jack's mind scrambled for answers. It couldn't be real; his father was dead. He saw his lifeless body, read the autopsy, even helped put him in the casket. Yet here he was, driving him insane like always. The brunette stood up and paused for a moment before following his father in a quest for answers.✧
Rain poured down from the sky as Jack pulled into the driveway of his parent's house, his mother asking him to stop by and discuss his father, who'd run off over a week ago. The brunette opened the back door of the car, pulling his sleeping child into his arms, and she rested her head on his shoulder as he lifted the hood of her raincoat, shielding her from the persistent raindrops. He rushed over to the front porch—thankful for the small roof above them—and rang the doorbell. Margo greeted them with a smile, urging him to come in out of the storm.
A faint boom of thunder echoed outside as Jack carried Maddie into the living-room, a fire already lit, making the space warm and welcoming. Maddie sluggishly helped as Jack began to remove her damp raincoat, rubbing her eyes while he lay her on the couch. He discarded her shoes before placing a blanket on her, and she snuggled into the soft cushions while the warm covers and crackle of the fire soothed her back to sleep. Jack crouched down, watching her drift away as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.
He then searched for his mother, finding her in Christian's office, eyeing some photographs. She looked up to see him enter the room, surveying him as he approached the window and peered into the stormy night.
"He's been away far too long, Jack," Margo said as she moved a little closer to him.
"He'll be back." It wasn't the first time he'd disappeared on them—the man accustomed to fleeing when matters grew complicated.
"This time it's different." Concern plagued the woman's voice. "I want you to bring him back." Jack gaped before chuckling in amusement. "What?"
"He hasn't talked to me in two months, Mom."
"You haven't talked to him in two months," she replied, and he shifted with irritation. "Besides, what did you expect after you told him he couldn't see Maddie?"
"So what? That didn't mean he couldn't talk to me!" Her loyalty towards his father didn't surprise him, but he also didn't understand it, not after everything he put her through. God forbid Christian ever be the one in the wrong. "He doesn't want me to bring him back, trust me." He moved past her, walking over to his father's desk. "Let one of his friends."
"He doesn't have friends anymore," Margo said in frustration. "Why do you think that is?" Jack eyed the floor, desperately trying not to let her guilt him into anything. "Why did you do it, Jack?"
Jack scoffed with utter disbelief. "He killed someone, Mom!"
"I'm not talking about that!" Margo exclaimed. "Why did you keep him from Maddie?"
"I was protecting her!" A rage stirred in his stomach. "I told him if he wanted to see her, then he needed to change. But he ran away like he always does!"
"You of all people know what it's like to lose her." She stepped closer. "Or did you forget what those two weeks were like? When Haylee took her from you." Jack recalled the time she was referring to—the incident which heavily involved Haylee's mother—and it made him feel sick and hollow.
"That was different," he said with glassy eyes, and she pursed her lips, annoyed by his stubborn nature.
"You know how much she means to him, and you know he'd never intentionally hurt her."
"That's exactly the point!" Jack yelled. "Intentionally doesn't mean it will never happen. Dad thought the same damn thing when he walked into that surgery room half-drunk! He never changes because he never has to face the consequences. We all just play along as if nothing happened."
"He needed you to help him. He fell into depression, told himself he didn't deserve you or Maddie in his life!" The confession hit Jack like a rock, and for a moment, he began to question his decision. "Jack, please, you know how he gets. He doesn't... he won't take care of himself. You have to go after him." She stood in front of him, grabbing the front of his damp coat. "If not for him, then for me."
Jack inhaled deeply as he contemplated her request. If he went, it would be a betrayal to himself. Christian made this mess, so why did he have to clean it up? Why did he always have to be the one who gave in? Perhaps it made him harsh or selfish, but he was done with the man's irresponsible actions.
"Do you mind if Maddie and I stay until the storm clears?"
Margo pulled away, his change of subject answering her question; he had no intention of going after his father. The woman veered away, tears filling her eyes as she shook her head in response, and Jack rapidly traipsed by her, wanting to escape the possibility of another argument.
✧
Margo's words circled in Jack's mind as he lay restless in bed. He wondered if he did the right thing, or were his actions solely out of spite rather than to protect Maddie. It made sense for him to want to punish Christian after all the years he spent making him feel like a failure. But to use Maddie to achieve such a goal, did that really make him any better? Their relationship had changed so much after Maddie and Haylee entered the picture. They agreed more and fought less, finding more ways to understand each other's perspectives. Jack didn't obsess over his broken childhood because he didn't see himself as a failure anymore. All that mattered now was taking care of his family. His father once said commitment made him tick, and he was right. Haylee's death, however, sent Jack spiraling into old habits, and their relationship slowly reverted backward.
Jack ran the palm of his hand over his head in frustration as he drowned in his thoughts. A soft creak echoed around the room as the door slightly opened, removing him from his agony. He smiled at the sight of his child running over to the tall bed, tightly gripping at the sheets as she struggled to climb up.
"Come here, you." He grunted, chuckling as he reached over to help her. They huddled together under the covers, and the man wrapped his arms around her small frame. "You can't sleep either, huh?"
Maddie shook her head, curious about what was keeping him up.
"What's this?" He gestured to the folded paper in her hands, and she handed it to him. Unfolding it, he studied what looked like a drawing of Maddie holding hands with her grandparents. "Is that Grandma and Grandpa?"
The girl nodded and pointed at Christian before inquisitively staring at her father, and Jack half-smiled, understanding her silent question. She'd never gone this long without seeing him, and his missing presence yesterday must have piqued her interest, urging her to press him for answers.
"Baby." He sighed, unsure of how to approach the question. "Grandpa's gone; he left." She tilted her head, confused by his response. "I don't know where he is."
Maddie's expression turned to disappointment as she released a small sigh and placed her drawing on the bedside desk. She sank into the warm covers and snuggled close to her father, fiddling gently with the hair on his arm. Guilt weighed on Jack's conscience as she usually only fidgeted when in distress.
"You miss him?" Jack asked, and she idled for a moment before nodding. He squeezed her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "I do, too, Monkey."
Deep down, that was the truth. No matter how angry Christian made him, he loved the man. Although his methods in raising him were harsh and demanding, he always meant well. Perhaps his father wasn't the only one making a mess. Maddie shifted and nuzzled close to him, and Jack kissed her again with a grin. He had no other choice now but to bring his father home; for Maddie's sake.
✦Awakening to a gentle breeze in the tent, Maddie sat up and yawned as she stretched her arms, still somewhat restless. She scanned the area for her father, hoping he would have returned by now. The man didn't appear to be anywhere close, and she faintly groaned in disappointment."Get her in the tent!"Maddie turned her head swiftly to the unexpected voice, watching Kate as she instructed Michael and Charlie into the tent. Both men carrying Claire together in their grasp, the pregnant woman passed out from the sun's overwhelming heat and lack of water. Maddie moved over as they put Claire down on the ground, scooching closer to grab her arm once they did. Kate continuously tried to wake her up, holding Claire's face gently in her hands as she quietly encouraged the woman to open her eyes. An extended few seconds passed until she finally complied."Hi, it's me, it's Kate," the curly-haired woman expressed tenderly, Claire regarding her with confusion. "You passed out, just take it easy." Kate glanced up to see the young child watching with wide eyes. "She will be okay, Maddie, do you know where your dad is?" she asked her sweetly, and the girl shook her head in reply. "Michael, I need you to go find Jack," Kate instructed. Michael nodded his head to acknowledge her before briskly racing out of the tent. "Charlie, she needs water."Charlie delayed in shock. "Oh, water! Right!" Maddie rubbed the pregnant woman's shoulder, Claire looking at her with a weak smile as she grabbed the child's hand to hold. "The water's gone!" Charlie suddenly shouted in alarm. "Someone stole it!" He frantically began to scatter items around as he searched for the missing water."Calm down, Charlie!" Kate demanded, doing her best to hide her own concern. "Where is Jack?" she blurted out in frustration, rechecking her surroundings."He's gone." All of them turned, seeing Boone approach. "He ran into the jungle about an hour ago." Maddie's stomach dropped at the announcement, her anxiety beginning to build up."What? Why?" Kate asked disoriented."I don't know," Boone answered with a shrug.Immediately, Claire's vision shot over to Maddie, who was eyeing the sand frozen in fear, and she remembered what Jack had told her about the girl's anxiety. Maddie's breathing became exceedingly shallow as she began to panic, tears forming in her eyes as she turned to look at the jungle. Claire leaned closer to grab her hand."Maddie, it's okay. He will come back," she said calmly. Kate touched Claire's shoulder perplexed by her comment, but the pregnant woman stayed focused on the girl. "Sweetie, look at me." Maddie ignored her, vision fixed on the jungle as she waited for her legs to work again."Maddie?" Kate reached over to grab her, and the child broke into tears, pulling away. Claire desperately held on to her the best she could, but her small hand slipped free. Maddie struggled to get up at first, but quickly she found her feet, passing Boone as she ran towards the trees."Kate, you have to go after her!" Claire yelled. Kate gawked at her in shock, confused about what was going on. "Jack told me Maddie has separation anxiety! She's going out to find him!" Kate instantly glanced back at Maddie, seeing her headed straight towards the jungle, and the woman sprinted into action. Boone and Charlie quickly trailing behind her.✧ Jack steadily trudged down the stairs with two suitcases in his hands, setting them at the bottom of the stairs. Maddie lounged on the couch as she watched her morning cartoons, and the man smiled at the familiar sensation it gave him. He could pretend their life was just as wholesome as it had once been, absent of death and pointless family feuds. Entering the kitchen, Jack picked up the two passports lying on the counter, going through a travel checklist in his mind. A light knock on the front door interrupted his process, and he strolled over to answer. Margo entered the house as her son greeted her with a confused expression, uncertain why she was there. The woman addressed Maddie with a kiss on the head, and the girl reached up to hug her in return. Jack ventured back into the kitchen, sorting once more through the pile of papers. His mother approached him with a grin, grateful that Jack had reconsidered going after Christian.
"Thank you for doing this, Jack," she said with appreciation. Jack glanced up, nodding his head in reply. "Have you told Maddie yet? I know she still struggles with her separation anxiety, and I'm sure this won't be easy for her." Margo looked at the child on the couch, trying to imagine her reaction to the news, peering back at her son with confidence. "She'll be fine, though. I'll keep her busy till you get back." Jack raised an eyebrow before slightly chuckling at his mother, and she gawked at him, baffled by the reaction.
"Mom, she's coming with me," he stated, surprised she would just assume what he would do with Maddie.
"Don't be silly, Jack," the woman shook her head. "There is no reason to bring her with you, I can watch—"
"You really think she will just let me leave without breaking down?" The man gave her an irritated look. "She's fine when I'm gone for a few hours but a few days?" he smirked with discontent. The image of Maddie's response unnerved him. "No, she'll be completely traumatized the whole time I'm gone. I don't want to put her through that."
Jack knew it wasn't helpful to give into Maddie's clinginess, and a good portion of the time he tried not to coddle her, much as he wanted to. But the girl had been doing very well with her anxiety. Being away from her father when she had to be and working hard to control her panic attacks. However, if she didn't know where he was, or Jack was gone for too long, that's when things would spin out of control. Maddie would lose touch with reality as her mind focused solely on getting back to him. Nothing could pull her out of these moments, not even the risk of her own safety. Christian, Margo, and various therapists had tried to break her from this pattern but to no avail. Jack was the only person capable of calming her down from this trance.
"You can't take her with you every time you go away, Jack," Margo said, attempting to reason with him.
"Look, Mom, I don't disagree. I'm just saying she's not ready to be that far apart yet," Jack calmly responded. Hoping his short explanation would make her leave the matter alone.
Margo pursed her lips, unconvinced by his argument, and promptly turned to march over to her granddaughter. The man shaking his head as he scoffed, watching her sit on the coffee table in front of Maddie.
"Maddie, your father has to go away for a few days. You'll stay with me till he comes back, okay?" she said with a smile. Grabbing her hand to make the situation seem less scary. Maddie shook her head, her anxiety instantly setting in. "It won't be forever. He's just going to bring grandpa home. You want to see your grandpa, don't you?"
Jack moved into the living room to observe his daughter's reaction. Maddie felt the sting of tears hit the back of her eyes, desperately working to break through the intense panic growing in her chest. Alas, the idea of her father's absence caused it to emerge stronger, and she began to cry. Glancing towards Jack, the child stood up from the couch to pursue him. Margo quickly seized both her arms with a gentle force.
"Maddie, no!" she scolded. Warm tears streamed down Maddie's face as the woman trapped her. But her father was right there; all she had to do was get to him. She began to pull away from her grandmother striving to break free, and Margo's eyes enlarged in shock of the girl's aggressive struggle. "Maddie!" she yelled in astonishment, firmly clutching onto the child.
Margo believed she'd only learn to be away from Jack through discipline and force. However, in Maddie's mind, it had the opposite effect. The anxiety worsened as it fed on her terror, and the girl became more violent in her efforts to escape, shrieking in her dismay. Jack stepped forward, unable to watch the situation play out any longer.
"Mom, let her go!" Jack demanded. His mother looked at him in awe as the child continued battling her grasp. "Let. Her. Go," he repeated firmly, not appreciating having to ask twice.
Margo released Maddie and watched her rapidly run to her father. The brunette picked her up in his arms, feeling the child wrap around him tightly as she sobbed, and he rubbed her back to soothe her.
"It's okay, baby," he whispered, "you're coming with me. I'm not leaving you." Jack sighed, wishing he hadn't let the situation escalate to this point. Margo stared amazed by how bad Maddie's anxiety still was, and she tried her best not to take it personally. Jack peered at his mother, seeing hurt in her eyes. "It's not you, Mom," he stated with reassurance. "She's just not ready, that's all."
Swallowing hard, Margo nodded and attempted a smile, walking in their direction to place her hand on Maddie's back, moving to Jack's side to see the girl's face.
"I'm sorry, Maddie," Margo murmured before kissing her forehead and backing away in discomfort. "Is it alright if I take you to the airport then?" the woman asked, quietly. Jack eyed her with sadness, knowing the rejection had hit her hard.
"Of course you can, Mom," he replied sweetly. Margo nodded her head, sauntering into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. Maddie sniffed and let out a deep breath, her anxiety finally dying down. Jack kissed the side of her head, rethinking what had happened moments ago, never wanting her to feel that scared again.
✦Maddie ran as fast as she could, her feet sinking into the sand with each step, slowing her down immensely. A storm of terror consumed her, and she felt misplaced and alone as a million thoughts about her father ran wild in her mind. Worried that she'd never see him again, scared of him being hurt or lost, but most of all, she couldn't understand why he would abandon her. Arms grabbed the girl suddenly, encompassing around her body and killing her objective. Kate yanked the child's back against her own chest, trying to calm her down. New levels of panic skyrocketed in the child, wiggling to break free."Maddie, calm down! It will be alright!" Kate shouted. Charlie and Boone surrounded them, watching as the girl continued to battle against Kate, all of them astonished by the child's strength. Finally, the energy in her muscles drained and diminished her efforts. The woman leaned against Maddie's cheek, softly quieting her while rocking from side to side. It was a surreal moment for Kate, never imagining she'd be able to hold the child this way. Maddie reached towards the tree's in agony as she cried, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to soothe herself, searching for the strength to control her anxiety as she had done after the crash. Counting to five as her father had shown her, and for a brief moment, there was some comfort to hold on to. But it was only the calm before the storm, terror soon building back up as it shot through her again. She began to kick and push her captor furiously, digging her nails into Kate's skin until she slipped from her grasp. Running even faster than before, adrenaline surging within her veins, making her feel inhuman. The girl glimpsed behind to see the trio following her, all of them aware that if she made it past the trees, she could easily outmaneuver them in the dense underbrush. A few feet away from her destination, another pair of limbs captured her. Maddie screamed in anger, grappling to get away again, but these arms were much stronger than Kates."Woah, woah, Shorty! Take it easy!" Sawyer said as the child pushed against his chest. Kate, Boone, and Charlie drew nearer to them, relieved the girl hadn't made it past the tree line. "What the hell's goin' on?" the blonde asked. Maddie almost getting away a few times as she squirmed like a cat that detested being held."Jack ran off into the jungle about an hour ago, and once Maddie heard she freaked out," Kate said in between her gasps for air. "Something about separation anxiety?" the woman continued, leaning over to rest her palms on her knees. "I guess she was heading out to find him," she finished, worried Maddie would hurt herself if they didn't find some way to ease her."Hey, calm down," Sawyer tenderly said, touching the girl’s cheek to gain her focus. It was useless; she continued to scream and kick against him.It’s was clear to see that she didn't even know who was holding her, only able to hear and feel the blood pumping as her anxiety expended her thoughts. Witnessing the small child so absent from her own existence made Sawyer's heart ache. Maddie was just a kid. She was too young to be dealing with such immense pain, and he was determined to pull her back to reality. "Madison!" he yelled, gripping both her arms and forcing her to look at him. It seemed to be enough as Maddie stopped struggling, his strong authority reminding her of Jack. But he knew gaining her attention was only half the battle, needing to pacify her apprehension as well. The child looked at Sawyer with distress, warm tears blurring her vision, breathing jagged as exhaustion and adrenaline fought deep inside her belly for control."Good, Shorty, that's good," Sawyer praised, returning to his gentle demeanor. The other three adults watched the interaction with astonishment. "Need you to settle on down now." Maddie gasped for air and pointed towards the jungle. "Your daddy's gonna come back, I promise," he assured, and the child shook her head furiously, doubting the man's statement. "Yes, he will, Baby Girl," the blonde repeated. She ignored his words, beginning to tug apart from him again. "Hey! Look at me!" he said in a raised voice. "He ever not come back before?" Maddie stopped fighting again as she processed the question, thinking of all the times she had felt this way. Sawyer was right. Jack had never left her alone forever; he always returned to her side. The girl calmly shook her head to answer him, sniffing multiple times, unable to catch her breath. "See, he’ll be back, alright?" Sawyer said again, watching her gaze at the trees with affliction. The bright green shrubs swayed in the breeze as if they were trying to lure her over, but she glanced back at the man and nodded her head in agreement. Starting to finally regain some control over herself. Sawyer sweetly smirked, tucking a small piece of hair behind her ear and wiping away the tears. "You gotta calm down. Just breathe with me." Sawyer placed her tiny hand on his chest, holding it there as he took a deep breath in; Maddie followed his lead. Breathing in the fresh air around her and letting it out gradually along with him. "There you go," he said with encouragement. The two repeated the action a few more times until she was breathing at a more even pace. The adrenaline wearing off and making Maddie shake, feeling an overwhelming need to lie down. She glanced up to see the others peering upon them, causing her to feel vulnerable. The child moved forward to enclose her arms around Sawyer's neck, and he hugged her in return. Kate lowered to the ground, delicately stroking Maddie's back."Thanks, Sawyer, I'll take her back to the tent." The woman reached forward, and Maddie tensed up, making a small noise in protest. Kate slightly jumped back, afraid of upsetting her further."It's fine. I'll look after her while the Doc is gone," Sawyer responded.The man attempted to pull Maddie away from him so he could stand, but she only tightened her grip. Sawyer nervously chuckled. Obviously, the only option left was to carry her, but he hesitated at the thought, unfamiliar with the responsibilities that fell upon a parent. It took the blonde a moment to find the courage, but eventually, he picked her up to hold, grinning when she hid her face in his neck. The man started to walk back towards the beach, and the girl wrapped around him as tight as she could, fearing Kate would try to steal her again. Many wandering eyes inspected Sawyer as he carried her, but what unnerved him most was Kate burning a hole in his back from behind. She didn't approve of the man watching over the child, trusting him about as far as she could throw him. However, the cards had been dealt, and she had no choice other than to let him take her.✦Steady waves of the ocean swayed in and out, salty water washing up hidden shells as it continued in a never-ending pattern. Sawyer traipsing the shoreline with Maddie in hand. Eventually, the girl felt safe enough to loosen her grip on him, resting her head underneath his chin but still clung as close as she could. Sawyer swayed as they traveled down the beach, feeling a strange amount of pride settle in his chest. The man was happy that he could soothe her, considering that Jack was the only person she seemed to want to be with.Sawyer pondered over Maddie's situation, thinking back on her reaction to her father's disappearance. What had happened wasn't just her being too attached; she had a very real mental breakdown. Sawyer was sure it revolved around the death of her mother and truthfully, he knew exactly how she felt. Having lost his own parents at a young age, he knew how it tore through your soul piece by piece until there was nothing but emptiness. To him, her anxiety was more than understandable; it was expected. Maddie utterly terrified of losing the only parent she had left, and her mind harnessed that fear. Sawyer nuzzled his cheek on the top of her head as he felt a deep sadness for her. Trauma from his past infecting his mind with something familiar, a pain that was always there in the background haunting him."I'm sorry 'bout your mom, Shorty," he said with a sympathetic sigh. Sawyer then paused for a long while, debating his next words, wondering what good could come from sharing his own story. "Lost both my folks when I was eight," he uttered, and a sharp stab of emotions struck him in the heart as his troubled past flashed before his eyes. "Spent my whole life tryin' to fill the hole they left behind. So, I know it ain't easy." Sawyers own blunt confession surprised himself. In all his years of living, he had never openly shared his story with anyone, and now here he was divulging it to a five-year-old. But the child hung on every single word, experiencing for him the same sadness that he was for her. Maddie pushed closer into the blonde’s neck, causing him to chuckle. Sawyer knew it was more than just a cute gesture, sensing the unspoken message she was trying to communicate to him. "It's okay, Baby Girl, hardly even feel it anymore," he assured; Maddie was confident that he was lying."Sawyer." The blonde whirled around to see Locke headed over, sliding a backpack on as he trudged through the sand. Approaching them he displayed a warm smile, making Sawyer feel uneasy. "You're a natural," Locke declared."What?" Sawyer asked confused. The bald man motioned to the small child in his arms."You're a natural with kids," he repeated with confidence. The blonde gave him a puzzled expression of disagreement, and an awkward silence fell among them. "I heard about the doctor running off. I'm going out to look for water, but I'm hoping to find him along the way," Locke said as he broke through the tension with efficiency."Okay?" Sawyer responded slowly."I wanted to know how she's doing. Heard she threw quite a fuss when she found out Jack was gone." Locke gazed upon the girl with a smile. Maddie proceeded to ignore him."A fuss?" Sawyer snickered with revulsion. "That what Freckles called it? Just your old run-of-the-mill temper tantrum, huh?" he replied in a humorous yet mocking tone. Kate was playing scared, but really each move she made was calculated to its very core. He was sure of it."What would you call it?" the bald man asked, genuinely curious about Sawyer's thoughts, and intrigued by his immediate need to defend the child."Call it an anxiety attack, somethin' she ain't got no control over, and I wager the Doc would say the same," Sawyer explained, hugging the girl tighter as he rested his cheek on her head again. "Guess Kate missed the memo. She ain't the only one with emotional baggage." The hunter pondered the man's statement, wondering whose baggage precisely he was referring to."Well, regardless of the reason, I wanted to check on her before I left," Locke insisted. The hunter caught the girl's eyes again, and this time, she returned his stare. There was a calmness in his energy, but Maddie wasn't able to read his intentions like she usually could with other people. "I'll make sure your dad gets back safely," Locke said gently. Maddie's expression was blank for a few seconds before she gave a tiny nod to acknowledge him. He glanced up at the blonde one last time with a slight grin, and with no other words, Locke headed for the jungle. Sawyer furrowed his brow as the man left them behind, shaking his head a few times before he continued down his earlier path with Maddie.✧ As she held her father's hand, Maddie watched the big red elevator numbers count upwards. Jack had explained to her earlier that they were visiting the hotel where her grandfather was staying. But when they arrived, the manager of the hotel informed them Christian hadn't been back in three days, offering to take them to inspect his belongings. And now the three of them stood silently, waiting for the elevator doors to open as the sound of soft music played over the intercom.
"Your first visit to Sydney, sir?" the manager asked, and Jack politely grinned at him.
"Yeah, my first time," he answered. The manager looked at the child clinging to the brunette and beamed at her kindly.
"What about you, Little Bird?" the man questioned. Maddie felt a small blush hit her cheeks as she smiled, and she quickly hid her face in her father's side. Jack slightly laughed and tightened his grip on her hand in reassurance. "She's a shy one, eh?" the manager asked with a grin.
"Yes," Jack responded, continuing to chuckle. A ding echoed in the confined space to signal they'd reached their floor, and the large elevator door opened in one graceful swoop.
The manager led them to Christian's suite at the end of the hall. It was, without a doubt, a five-star hotel — a large space encompassed by a king-size bed and other extravagant furniture. On the other side of the room, there was a broad set of glass doors, and beyond them a balcony that overlooked the city. Maddie immediately ran over to them as the manager opened the thin curtains. She gaped in amazement, placing one hand on the door as she glanced back at Jack and pointed outside. The brunette shook his head with an amused smile, walking over to slide the door open for her. Maddie briskly ran out and pulled a chair over towards the balcony ledge, climbing up and gasping at the world in front of her. Jack's eyes lingered on his daughter for a moment before he went back to examining the room, leaving the sliding door open behind him.
"He rented a car here?" Jack asked as he moved over to the dresser, opening the drawers to find empty booze bottles.
"No, sir," the manager retorted, watching the brunette pick up one of the many pill bottles lying around. "Quite honestly, Mr. Shephard, I don't think your father rented a car at all."
"Yeah? Why's that?" Jack inquired, persisting in rummaging through his father's things.
"There was an incident a few nights ago, here at the hotel bar..." the man paused in apprehension, "I had to get security to escort your father to his room." Jack peered back at the man with a confused expression.
"What's that have to do with renting a car?" he asked. The manager looked away, thinking his own comments were irrelevant.
"I'm sorry, sir, I shouldn't have said—"
"Come on, what's that have to do with renting a car?" Jack interrupted in irritation.
"Mr. Shepard," the man answered slowly, "I don't think any rental agent in Sydney would lease your father a car in his condition."
"My father," Jack moved closer to him in anger, "is the chief of surgery."
The manager hesitated before nodding his head and glancing away. "Of course, sir, I apologize."
Guilt landed in the pit of Jack's stomach from his own defensive response. It was a needless reaction, the man simply wanted to help, and it's not like he didn't make a good point. Christian was clearly drinking to his heart's content, and there was no telling what trouble he'd gotten into.
"I'll give you a moment, sir," the manager said politely, striding towards the door to leave.
Jack sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, noticing his father's wallet on the bedside table. He trudged over to inspect the thin leather, finding all the money and credit cards intact. The entire situation seemed like the plot straight out of a mystery movie. Why would Christian leave his wallet behind? Did he plan on being gone for days? Or just forgotten to take it? Terror consumed Jack's thoughts as he envisioned many scenarios, suspecting things might be more severe than he had previously thought. The man glimpsed towards the balcony, seeing Maddie grinning ear to ear at the city below, and he couldn't help but smile. Placing the wallet back on the table as he began to walk in that direction.
Maddie took in as much of the view as she could at one time. Watching the miniature people on the ground go about their day. Left breathless by the sight of the enormous buildings that mirrored the sun. She had seen many similar things back home, but it was nowhere near as beautiful as this place. The blue ocean surrounded everything, small and large boats alike floated in the water as they headed to their various destinations, several seagulls in the sky following them. What truly caught her eye though was the strange building near the giant bridge, taking the form of many large dorsal fins connecting. She wondered if it was actually made from the fins of a thousand sea creatures. Everything was exhilarating; she had so many questions, her imagination soaring to new levels. Maddie suddenly felt two arms wrap around her, Jack resting his forearms on the balcony wall as he stood behind the girl. She quickly pointed towards the building in eagerness, hoping her father would tell her about it.
"I see it, baby," Jack laughed, "that's the Opera House." Maddie smiled and looked back at the unique structure. "Maybe after we find grandpa we can go visit it with him, what do you think?" The girl nodded her head in approval as she resumed eyeing the city.
Jack loved how excited she was about everything; he wished it were under better circumstances. He squeezed his daughter in his arms as he kissed her on the side of her forehead. Jack could only hope that the situation with his father would turn out okay. Confident that as soon as Christian saw Maddie, it would help bring him back to sanity. Another reason he thought it was better she came with him. Maddie meant everything to his father; he loved her more than words could express. It was what made Jack taking her away from him that much worse.
✦The jungle seemed to blur together as Jack plodded into the dense foliage. Christian had already disappeared, but his son was determined to find him again. Stopping for a moment, he observed all around him, exhaling heavy as he did."Where are you!" he yelled. Jack felt faint, throat stinging with each breath he obtained. Lost in his mind with nothing but a need for answers. The man sensed a presence from behind, and he quickly pivoted to see Christian standing with his back to him. Only a few steps away, yet Jack was afraid he'd disappear any second. He rushed towards him, hoping to come out on top for once. As usual, it was too much to ask for, and he tripped over a log as he got closer to his destination. Jack tumbled downhill, grunting in pain as he hit various things. Coming to the edge of a cliff, he quickly grabbed onto a bush vine, stopping himself from falling to his demise. Panic set in as his strength fully drained, and Jack's entire body trembled in fear and exhaustion. Glimpsing below he became nauseous, seeing only rocks at the bottom to greet him. Trying to find his footing, he slipped, hands dragging further down the vine. A blistering pain consumed his palms, and they urged the man to let go. Thoughts of his daughter, however, instantly dismissed the impulse.It would devastate Maddie if they found him dead. She’d likely fall into a severe depression with no one but strangers to comfort her. The image was enough to keep him from surrendering, and he sought to pull himself up once more. Dropping for a second time, Jack descended even further down the vine. Puffing in and out harshly as sweat dripped down his face, he was at a standstill. No way in hell was Jack going to let go knowing what he was living for, but he was out of options on ways to pull up to safety. Whatever the plan was, he needed to do it soon, or his weakening body would decide for him. Suddenly, someone's hand stretched over the side of the cliff. Locke's head came into view with a smile, and Jack had to wonder if he was hallucinating again. Finding him was nothing short of a miracle, especially considering that Jack was inches away from death."Take my hand," Locke said calmly. The brunette took a deep breath as he braced himself, aware he'd have to hold all his weight for a split second as he reached up. "Come on," the hunter encouraged. Jack groaned in agony, rapidly letting go with one hand and clasping onto Locke. Relief set in once their palms fastened, and he started to climb while Locke tugged him over his body and safely to his other side. The hunter's arm trapped under Jack as they both lay there breathless. "You okay?" he asked, and Jack began to laugh hysterically. Presumably, because of how stupid the question was, or perhaps he really was just losing his mind.✦Sitting comfortably on a large rock, Jack observed quietly as Locke held his water bottle to the wet leaves. Stealing whatever drops he could capture. The lack of water turning into a dire situation."How are they?" Jack asked, and Locke gave him a questioning glance. "The others.""Thirsty, hungry, waiting to be rescued," Locke answered. "And they need someone to tell them what to do." The hunter gave him the same look that everyone else had. As if the solution to the problem could only be Jack."Me?" Jack inquired with raised eyebrows, shaking his head as he snickered. "I can't.""Why can't you?" Locke questioned."Because I'm not a leader," Jack replied with exasperation, unable to comprehend why everyone believed he could lead them."And yet they all treat you like one," Locke stated reassuringly."I don't know how to help them, I'll fail, I'll…" he paused recalling the words Christian used to say to him as a boy, "I don't have what it takes." The hunter looked away, able to relate to Jack's lack of self-confidence."Why are you out here, Jack?" Locke asked, strolling towards him, and a somewhat humorous expression crossed Jack's face."I think I'm going crazy," he claimed, little doubt now on the whereabouts of his sanity."No, you're not going crazy," Locke answered in a matter-of-fact tone."No?" Jack debated."No, crazy people don't know they're going crazy, they think they're getting saner," Locke remarked, sitting on the rock across from him. Jack laughed in amusement. "So, why are you out here?" he repeated. Jack bit his bottom lip in hesitation, wondering if it was even worth talking about."Chasing something," Jack clarified, licking his lips. "Someone.""Ah, the White Rabbit," Locke responded with recognition. "Alice and Wonderland," he specified, and Jack smirked at how fitting it was."Yeah, wonderland, because who I'm chasing," the brunette declared as he gave an unhinged smile, "he's not there.""But you see him?" Locke asked as he leaned forward, intrigued by the conversation."Yes," Jack remarked with haste, moving his head in skepticism. "But he's not there.""And if I came to you and said the same thing, what would your explanation be, as a doctor?""I'd call it a hallucination," Jack stated, happy to abide by logic, "result of dehydration, post-traumatic stress, not getting more than two hours of sleep a night for the past week. All of the above.""Alright then, you're hallucinating," Locke paused, examining the man. "But what if you're not?" The brunette grinned wide and laughed as he claimed, "Then we're all in a lot of trouble."Locke shook his head, recognizing exactly how much logic and facts kept the doctor's world afloat. "I'm an ordinary man, Jack," Locke said as he continued to maintain eye contact. "Meat and potatoes, I live in the real world. Not a big believer in…" he reflected, wanting to use the right word, "magic." Jack furrowed his brow, trying to understand where Locke was going with this. "But this place is different, special. The others don't want to talk about it because it scares them, but we all know it. We all feel it. Is your White Rabbit a hallucination? Probably, but what if everything that happened here happened for a reason? What if this person you're chasing is really here?" Jack peered at him with doubt. "That's impossible.""Even if it is, let's say it's not," Locke insisted.The brunette tried to imagine his father being alive again. Putting aside his rational judgment for a moment and contemplating the idea of the island possessing magic. "What happens when I catch him?" Jack urged, unsure about what to do with the ideas the hunter had provided."I don't know," Locke returned just as perplexed. "But I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw…" a look of wonder exerted the man's face, "was beautiful." The brunette absorbed his words and strived to make sense of it. Part of him thinking Locke sounded insane, but another side knew there was a kernel of truth in his theories. The hunter stood and grabbed his backpack, prepared to continue his search for water. "Whatever you do, I suggest you do it soon. Your daughters pretty worried about you."Pure dread set in as Jack darted up, rubbing his head. "Shit, Maddie! I've got to get back to camp," he exclaimed, walking forward only for the hunter to stop him."No, you need to finish what you started," Locke argued, the man baffled by his insistent nature."Why?" Jack demanded calmly."Because a leader can't lead till he knows where he's going," Locke explained. The statement was indeed a wise one, but Maddie had to be his first priority. Jack had already spent too much time chasing ghosts instead of caring for her as he should be."I can't. I'm sure Maddie’s already unsettled enough as it is," Jack stated."She had a little breakdown but trust me, she's in good hands. She will be fine. You need to finish this, Jack." Locke clutched the man's shoulder before marching off into the wilderness. On some level, he knew Locke had a point. Leaving things open-ended would make this whole plot more likely to repeat itself. Jack needed closure. Hallucination or not, he had to understand why Christian was haunting him.✦Eventually, Maddie had fallen asleep in Sawyer's arms, her weariness catching up to her. The blonde carried the girl to the small area where he resided. It wasn't much, a few suitcases and seat cushions to lounge on, surrounded by plenty of plane debris. He possessed a tarp, but Sawyer hadn't settled down that much yet. Holding on to some optimism of them being rescued still, though, at this point, it seemed unlikely. However, the blonde had collected much more than that. Most people saw him as the thief or hoarder of the group. Whatever Sawyer found he claimed, and if anyone wanted something from him, he charged a fee for it. Sure he wouldn't get voted most caring in the island's senior yearbook, but he preferred things this way. The man had always been a lone wolf, no reason for that to change now.He placed Maddie gently on the seat cushions laid out on the sand, being careful not to wake her. Grabbing a pillow amongst the small pile of his unhidden possessions and placed it under the child's head. Sawyer beamed as he stared at her, imagining how exhausted she must be. He stood slowly walking over to a piece of debris and hunkered down, leaning his back against the hard surface as he pulled out some smokes. Thankfully, he had found a few packs after searching every nook and cranny of the plane, desperate enough to loot the dead bodies. Sawyer lit a cigarette, taking a long drag on the end. Instant relief from the never-ending stress as he emitted a puff of smoke. It was a satisfaction that would not last long; nothing good ever did. The man glanced up to see Kate stomping towards him with an empty water bottle in her hand, Sayid following close behind, and Sawyer sensed accusations coming his way."Where's the water?" Kate yelled, looking at him like a cockroach needing extermination. Sawyer snickered as he put out the cigarette in the sand, mumbling curses under his breath over the wasted nicotine, and standing to greet his unwanted guests."Wanna keep it down, Freckles?" Sawyer said as he motioned to Maddie. Stepping past Kate, encouraging her to follow him away from the sleeping child. The woman trailing behind as the blonde walked over to where Sayid had stopped."Give us the water, Sawyer," she repeated, and the blonde smirked at her bold essence."What in the hell makes you think I stole the water?" Sawyer suggested with charm, Kate's increasing frustration satisfying him."We know you gave two bottles to the Koreans," Sayid said as he took the water bottle from Kate's hand and held it up to Sawyer's face. "Now, you will tell us where you've hidden the rest.""I don't give nothin' to nobody," Sawyer exclaimed, giving the Iraqi a cold sneer as he batted the bottle away. "I traded Mr. Miyagi the last of my water for a fish he caught. We worked it out caveman style.""You gave him your last two bottles?" Kate divulged unconvinced."Water has no value, Freckles! It's gonna rain sooner or later," the blonde stated with irritation. "An' hell, I'm an optimist." Sayid and Kate exchanged looks, silently conversing about whether his words were valid. The Iraqi placed his hands on his hips, glimpsing towards Sawyer's things to see Maddie soundly sleeping. Unaware of her presence until now."Why is she with him?" Sayid shouted, rapidly turning to the woman for an explanation. Kate ran her hand through her hair, looking away, and Sayid darted his sights back to Sawyer, whose amused grin had dissolved. "I'm taking the child."“Wanna run that by me again, Mohammed?" Sawyer said with humor in his tone. It was his usual response to these types of scenarios, but this time, it was different. This time the threat felt imminent."I'm taking the girl with us. I don't trust her being in your care," Sayid vocalized as he started to stroll towards Maddie. Sawyer seized his shoulder and maneuvered in front of him, blocking the girl from his sight."I think you best back off," Sawyer replied aggressively. The blonde felt a protective instinct overcome him, almost certain that if Sayid laid a finger on Maddie, he might actually kill him. The Iraqi smirked at Sawyer's subtle threat, both intrigued and disturbed by the man's attachment to the child. All the same, Sayid would show no intimidation. "Or what?" "Or I'll kick your ass! That's what!" Sawyer yelled, violently shoving the man away. Sayid clenched his fists in anger and moved forward, ready to beat the blonde into the ground. Sawyer equally combat-ready, prepared to protect what was his. But Kate immediately jumped in front of Sayid to stop him."Sayid, don't," she stated calmly. Kate identified with his desire to attack Sawyer. But if anyone knew anything about choosing your battles, it was her. "Trust me, it's not worth it.""You would just leave her with him? She's a child!" Sayid roared, and Sawyer clenched his jaw at the insult."I know!" Kate exclaimed. "Look, I don't trust him any more than you do, but if you try to take her with you, I guarantee she'll throw a fit." The Iraqi pursed his lips as he considered the woman's argument, peering up at Sawyer, who lifted his head higher to appear more intimidating. Not that it mattered, there was little that scared Sayid. He had met plenty of men like Sawyer in the past, and all of them were the same in his eyes. Alas, he heeded Kate's advice, trusting her judgment."Fine," he stated, yielding one last intense glare at the blonde before turning to leave. Kate eyed Sawyer up and down, shaking her head as if his presence revolted her, and she veered away to catch up with Sayid.Sawyer felt his shoulders relax as the threat proceeded on its merry way. Telling himself it didn't matter, and their opinions meant nothing to him. It wasn't like he hadn't heard it all before. However, somewhere inside, he knew a part of him cared. The blonde walked over to the small child, watching her rest peacefully, thinking of how possessive he had just been over the notion of her being taken away. Sawyer ran his hand through his hair in distress. Why was he so scared of losing her? Why did he feel so protective? She wasn't his kid, and he had no right to her at all. Perhaps Sawyer believed no one else understood what she was going through. Everyone would just treat her severe anxiety attack like it was nothing, and the thought of her feeling dismissed or unheard made his heartache. Still, his own attachment to her had grown into something he couldn't control. It only got harder the more she expressed her trust in him. Worst of all, Sawyer had unconsciously begun to accept these feelings rather than fight them.✧ Footsteps echoed down the long hospital hall as Jack followed an older doctor through the morgue, the chill in the air sending a shiver down his spine. Police had become involved in the search for his father, starting with recent John Doe's brought to surrounding hospitals. Leading Jack here, strolling down the cold morgue hallways and praying that the unidentified body wouldn't be Christian.
"Police found him in an alley in kings cross." the doctor informed. "Our tox screen showed blood alcohol content, which for a man of his size, probably brought on Myocardial Infarction. A sizable and fatal heart attack." The doctor turned to open a large metal door near the end of the hall. Jack hesitated, watching the man enter the room, and he took a short breath as he moved forward and prepared for the worst.
A body bag sat on top of the table in the middle of the room, just enough space for the two men to walk around each side. The doctor stood by the top of the body, grabbing the zipper as he waited for Jack's signal. The brunette gave him a nod to indicate he was ready, watching as the zipper gradually pushed down the bag to reveal its contents. Jack's heart sank as his father's lifeless face appeared before him. There were still no words to describe what it felt like to see someone he loved in a post-mortem state. Becoming nauseous and dizzy, his reality flipped upside down as tears began to swell in his eyes.
"That's him," Jack whispered, turning away as subtle tears slightly blurred his vision, the man doing all he could to hold back his emotions. He leaned against the wall and covered his sight in agony.
A deep pain spread through his body, the same as when he had lost Haylee. Only this time, it was his fault. If he'd put his pride aside, helped Christian through his addiction with love and support rather than a looming threat, perhaps he wouldn't be here now crying over another significant loss in his life. All this time, Jack believed he knew better than his father, but he could be just as stubborn and prideful.
✧
Sauntering back to the hospital lobby where his child awaited him, Jack pondered how he would explain things. It terrified him that her losing another important person so soon would cause severe trauma that could stick with her throughout life. If Haylee's death had triggered Maddie into not talking, there was no telling what the loss of Christian might do.
Reaching the lobby, he saw Maddie sitting on the ground behind the sofa table surrounded by waiting chairs. She was drawing in her mother's old sketchbook, which Haylee had asked Jack to give Maddie on her birthday. A day that had sadly taken place only a month after her mother's death. Jack tried to make it a fun and happy occasion, but ultimately, the sadness was still too heavy for both of them. However, when she received the sketchbook as one of her presents, Maddie lit up immediately. It was the first time since Haylee's death that Jack had seen her so happy, and he found it funny that something so simple meant everything to her.
Glancing to his right, Jack noticed the two women working at the front desk eyeing Maddie along with him. The two had happily agreed to watch over her while he visited the morgue, endlessly doting over her until she was blushing in embarrassment. Eventually, they both spotted him standing to the side, giving gentle smiles, and the man nodded to both of them in gratitude. Jack finally moved forward, sitting on the edge of the lobby couch, and Maddie looked up to greet him with a quick smile before focusing on her drawing again. The brunette scooched a little closer to see what she was working on, examining her interpretation of the Opera House. He frowned recalling his previous proposal to her at the hotel, now something that could never be.
"That's really good, sweetie," Jack said with an undeniable shakiness in his voice.
Maddie gleamed at her father's praise and glanced up to grin at him, her smile quickly fading when she saw the look on his face. Tilting her head, she gave him a sad and confused expression. Jack swallowed hard, desperately trying to find the courage he needed to tell her what had happened.
"Maddie, your grandpa..." he paused, already feeling the tears swell up, "well he..." It seemed impossible for him to say what he needed to; honestly, Jack wasn't even really sure what would be the best way to explain. He grabbed his forehead, letting out a deep sigh. "They found grandpa, Maddie, and..."
The girl felt her heart sink as Jack looked at her again, witnessing all the pain and sorrow in his eyes; she knew what he was trying to say. Her vision blurred as the emotions began to erupt from her core, eyes shining as she looked at Jack and slowly shook her head in disbelief. The reaction broke him, and Jack finally let the truth out.
"He...he's dead, baby, grandpa's gone," Jack uttered, and a few tears streamed down his face.
Maddie's face scrunched up as the confession slipped from the man's lips, cheeks wet from the paths her tears left behind. Her entire body went numb, and everything around seemed out of focus. Jack swayed his head, thinking it was all his fault, believing he could have somehow prevented this.
"I'm so sorry, Maddie," Jack said, instantly breaking into tears and burying his face into his hand in shame.
Maddie peered at him, reading his posture. He remained hunched on the couch, elbows rested on his knees as he cried into his palm. The child felt the pain in his heart, the thoughts he hadn't spoken and probably never would, but somehow she knew it was there. Maddie wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt and quickly got up, wandering over to hug the man. Jack stood from the couch as he grabbed her, squeezing the girl tightly in his arms while he continued to sob. It was a hard reality for Maddie to accept, and it pained her profoundly, but she knew it hurt her father more. She pulled away to look at him, wiping the man's tears before leaning her forehead on his. Jack released a jagged sigh as he worked to calm himself down. Amazed at how his baby's response was far from what he'd pictured. The child appeared more worried about him than anything else. Jack sniffed a few times deeply, and Maddie softly kissed the tip of his nose, making him laugh. It made all the difference to have her there with him, glad that he didn't have to deal with the pain alone.
✦As the sun started to fade on the horizon, Maddie slowly awoke, eyes stinging as the sunlight beamed at the edge of the ocean. She felt just as empty as she did previously; her father still nowhere in sight. Sawyer sat not too far away in the sand, resting against some debris reading a book. She steadily arose, rubbing her eyes and trudged over to the man in her miserable state of mind. Sawyer shifted hearing the girl shuffle behind him, and he gave her a wild grin."Heya, Sunshine," Sawyer said, chuckling as he put his book aside. Maddie climbed into the blonde's lap, nestling close to him, and Sawyer encompassed her in his sturdy arms. "Still hurtin', huh?" he questioned. She waited a minute before nodding her head to answer. Maddie felt the darkness consuming her inside, little hope left to cling onto, wishing her father would emerge from the trees to chase away her sorrow. The girl began to cry at the thought and pushed into the blonde further, hiding her face in his chest. Sawyer secured her in his grasp tighter, wanting her to know that she was safe with him. "It's okay, Baby Girl, I gotcha," Sawyer whispered, his cheek resting on the top of her head. The child shook in his arms uncontrollably, breathing heavy and choking on her relentless tears. She couldn't stand the pain anymore, her heart torn apart as the minutes of the day felt sluggish, questioning if Jack would return. Sawyer gently rubbed the child's back and swayed her from side to side, his shirt soaking up the liquid of her weeping. He found it humorous that caring for her came so naturally to him, almost like he'd done it for years. Beaming at his own perceptions, the man began to hum a tune, hoping it might soothe the child. Some time passed before the girl's crying faded, Maddie unwound by the rhythmic vibrations surging within Sawyer's chest. She sniffed a few times before intensely exhaling through her mouth, shutting her eyes as a drowsy warmth seized her again. She recalled times when her mother had held her in the same way, tenderly kissing and running her fingers through her hair. Assuring her that everything would feel right again soon.✧
One day is all Jack allowed himself to plan for Christian's funeral. Managing things as quickly as he could, aiming to keep his promise and take Maddie to visit the Opera House. Regrettably, the task proved to be more difficult than he anticipated. But Maddie patiently waited without question, which Jack was thankful for. Although it caused him to feel worse when he wasn't able to follow through. Revealing the news to her, he could see a hint of disappointment in Maddie's eyes; however, she smiled at him all the same, not wanting him to feel guilty.
Jack spent most of the night on the phone, getting less than an hour of sleep, though that small detail mattered little to him. Everything had come together planned and ready for their return, so it was worth the lack of sleep. As soon as he was home, he could rest all he wanted. Maybe even take some time off work to spend with Maddie. Unfortunately, his perfect plan shattered the next day as he stood at the airport check-in counter, speaking to a smaller Australian woman.
"What do you mean you won't put it on the plane?" Jack asked with frustration.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Shephard, but our policy said the body must have the proper documentation. There is just no latitude," the woman explained, doing her best to stay professional.
"No latitude?" Jack gave a humorless chuckle. "No latitude."
Honestly, the situation sounded about right to him. Of course, everything would fall apart when he needed it to work out most. Jack ran his hand over his short hair, peering at the airport chairs where Maddie sat observing the crowds of people pass by. Being stuck in a foreign country with her plus Christian's corpse wasn't exactly the ideal vacation. There wasn't any rush to get home, staying a couple more days to get things in order was a very viable option. But Jack simply wanted to get back home to attend the funeral and move on. Perhaps it was flawed logic, but it's what he had to tell himself. The anger and stress returned, and he veered back to the woman.
"Look, you can't do this to me. I'm ready to go now," Jack stated, raising his voice as if his impatient tone would somehow change her mind.
She responded sympathetically, "Perhaps another carrier?"
"No!" Jack shouted, his voice echoing through the air, and several people glimpsed over in curiosity.
Maddie inspected her father from afar with concern. It troubled her to see him lose his temper so much these days. Hardly ever had she seen him get this enraged; he was usually so calm and gentle. Since her mother had passed, though, his gentle nature had somewhat hardened. Jack looked at Maddie again, worried his outburst may have startled her, and she quickly changed her sullen appearance to a smile of reassurance. The child knew what he needed most at the moment was her compliance, but she could never imagine how effective her quiet nature actually was. Jack returned a small grin and relief set in seeing the girl smile. He tried to follow that example, gazing at the check-in woman calmly.
"I want you to listen to me, okay, because I'm asking you a favor," Jack proclaimed, ready to plead his case with her. "Chrissy, I'm standing in front of you in the same suit I'm wearing to my father's funeral, and I'm asking you a favor." He breathed in deeply as he sought to keep his emotions in check. "In sixteen hours I need to land at LAX, and I need that coffin to clear customs because there's going to be a hearse waiting there." The brunette slightly turned to gesture towards his child. "And I need that hearse to take my daughter, that coffin and me to a cemetery."
Jack let his words sink in, hoping that traveling with a child would add to his display of desperation.
"Why?" the man smirked, shaking his head from side to side. "Chrissy, why can't I just bring him to a funeral home and make all the arrangements? Why can't I really take my time with it? Because..." He pondered his word choice carefully. "Because I need it to be done," Jack said with a somewhat deranged smile, lightly laughing before he grimaced at the emotional pain stirring inside him. "I need it to be over. I just…" A heavyweight landed in his chest as he contemplated what exactly he was attempting to explain.
"I need to bury my father."
✧
Jack held his daughter's hand firmly while supporting a small carry-on bag in his other. The two swiftly advanced towards their gate, the man still surprised he'd successfully gotten Oceanic to cut him a break. As they finally neared their destination, Jack glanced at his watch, noting they had about an hour to kill before the flight left. He moved through the rows of chairs until he found some empty seats and sat down, chuckling when Maddie stood in front of him, waiting for him to hold her.
"Come here, Monkey," he said, grunting as he pulled her onto his lap.
She snuggled close to her father, as expected, and Jack embraced her in return. Maddie looked at the sea of faces before her, regarding each unique person. Where most would see only strangers, she saw numerous individuals with different lives. It developed into a game for her, attempting to read people based on their behaviors, postures, and reactions. All these people were there for their own reasons, each carrying secluded emotions and stories. The thought overwhelmed and fascinated her curious growing mind.
The child sights first spotted a bald man sitting in a wheelchair, leaning his head in the palm of his hand. Grief surrounded him like a blinding fog had set in, and he was helpless to find his way out. Several chairs away, a boy played with his handheld game while another man attempted to speak to him. The boy obviously having no interest as he ignored the man, who she assumed was his father. Maddie sensed animosity between them, and she tugged her father's arms around her tighter. Jack propping his cheek on her head in response. She couldn't imagine ever being that distant with him.
A man with long blonde hair then strolled past the boy, briefly turning his sights to Maddie, and she detected bitterness behind his eyes. His posture, however, displayed something else entirely, shoulders hanging low while he roamed with undeniable apathy. Unexpectedly, the blonde began to yell when a dark-haired man in a caramel-colored leather jacket bumped into him. The younger man threw his hands up as he apologized, and the blonde spitefully told him to watch where he was going. The young brunette traveled over to sit by a woman who strongly resembled a picture perfect Barbie doll. Sparkling accessories escorted by her pink covered clothes and iconic beach blonde hair. Rapidly a stern-looking man marched past them, clutching a curly-haired woman by the arm. Forcefully he dragged her along with him, cutting across a couple bickering in what Maddie could only describe as gibberish. She squinted her eyes at them as if it would help translate their conversation, struggling to figure out what they were saying until her game quickly became interrupted.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" Both Jack and Maddie stared up to see a woman beaming at them politely.
"No," Jack answered, returning her smile.
Maddie deciphered the woman as she sat down next to them. She had thick black hair running down her shoulders, smooth tan skin, and refined dark brown eyes that mirrored bits of light as they scrolled through her magazine. Her presence proved hard to interpret, but she seemed pleasant enough. Those haunting brown eyes eventually found the girl and gave her a friendly smile. Maddie's cheeks flushed to a light shade of pink as she briskly hid in her father's chest. The woman softly laughed, watching as Jack tenderly stroked the child's hair.
"She's a timid little one, isn't she?" the woman inquired, intrigued by the child's shy nature.
"Yeah, she's somewhat out of her comfort zone here," Jack answered, grinning as Maddie slightly peeked at the woman again.
"What's your name, sweetie?" she inquired, leaning closer for a better view. Maddie immediately glimpsed up at her father for assistance.
"It's Madison," Jack answered, chuckling at all the innocence gleaming from his daughter's green irises. Unsurprised when he glanced up to see the woman's confusion. "She's uh…" he stammered as he continued to laugh. "She's not really a big talker either."
"Oh," the woman said with raised eyebrows. "Well, that's okay. Talking is overrated anyway." she joked and subtly winked at the girl. Maddie giggled as she blushed even harder, enchanted by the woman's welcoming energy.
Another twenty minutes passed, and a crowd enveloped the area as their departure drew near. Jack cradled Maddie in his arms, exhaustion finally capturing the child in a deep sleep. He beamed as he studied her small face, affectionately running his hand through her hair while he rocked her back and forth.
"Your wife doesn't enjoy traveling?" the woman abruptly asked, breaking their long silence.
"Excuse me?" Jack inquired, taken back by her incredibly brazen manner.
"Your wife isn't with you. Does she not like to travel?" She repeated, hoping the question would be more precise this time around. Jack smirked as he raised his brow, curious if she was coming on to him.
"No, she um..." he faltered, "she died four months ago," Jack confessed, witnessing that instant expression of sorrow and pity devour her appearance. Something he had grown accustomed to seeing.
"I'm sorry," she softly responded before looking towards the ground in discomfort. Jack gave her a small nod of appreciation. "Is that why she doesn't talk?" the woman continued to investigate, unable to prevent herself from being intrusive. The man smiled as he pursed his lips, nodding at her again.
"Yeah, hasn't talked since it happened,” Jack uttered, unable to hide how much the situation hurt him. Empathy stirred inside the woman, wishing she hadn't brought up the subject. Swiftly she moved into the seat next to him, holding out her hand to introduce herself.
"I'm Ana Lucia," she stated, nerves getting to her when the brunette hesitated for a second.
"Jack," he eventually returned, shaking the woman's hand.
"So what are you doing in Sydney then, Jack?" she investigated further, and the man eyed her in amusement.
"I came to bring my father home," he declared, noticing her eyes dart around in confusion. "He died here. I'm bringing his body back to the states." Ana Lucia closed her eyes feeling humiliated, and her face scrunched up with humorous guilt.
"Maybe you should give me a list of questions to avoid asking?" she suggested. Jack burst into laughter, surprised and charmed by her playfulness towards his unfortunate circumstances.
"Well," he said, tripping over his continuous chuckle, "how about you tell me what you're doing here instead." Jack inquired, successfully turning the tables. The woman tensely glanced up at the ceiling as she bit her bottom lip.
"I met this guy at LAX a week ago, and he convinced me to come to Sydney with him. Told me he needed a bodyguard," Ana Lucia explained, praying the man wouldn't instantly label her as reckless. "Stupid, right?"
Jack peered at the woman considerately. She clearly had her own sob story to tell. The man smiled as he remembered something Haylee would tell him when they first met, words that helped him when broken and lost in his own grief.
"No, I don't think that's stupid," he reassured her. "I think we all do unexpected things when we're in pain." The woman glanced at him suspiciously.
"What makes you think I'm in pain?" she asked with a blank expression that purposely denied her own tragic history.
"I'm pretty sure everyone's going through some kind of pain," Jack responded without hesitation. Ana Lucia half-smiled at his remark, finding it extremely accurate. The woman's cell phone suddenly rang, interrupting their conversation, and she reached in her bag to answer it.
"Hey. — Yeah, I'm in Sydney." Ana Lucia conversed on the phone. "Hold on." The woman grabbed her bag as she stood up. "Sorry, I gotta talk. But It was nice meeting you and Madison, Jack."
"Yeah," Jack said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "It was nice to meet you too, Ana Lucia."
Smiling again, she turned to walk away and resume her call. The brunette let out a long sigh, glancing down at Maddie when she stirred in his arms, rubbing her eyes as she nuzzled closer to him. He grinned and tightened his grip, leaning his head on top of hers. Jack understood precisely why so many people gushed over the girl, and though he'd never admit it, he was glad that he didn't have to fight for her attention.
✦Blue and black darkness invaded every inch of the night sky, lighting up with millions of sparkling stars too far away to reach, frogs and crickets played a symphony of sounds in their safe jungle homes, and the ocean converted into their admiring fans, the waves clapping for an endless encore. Sawyer continued to embrace and sway the small girl in his arms as he appreciated the night. Maddie griefs shot through her like an electric shock, but even then, the presence of the blonde calmed her in a way she didn't really understand. She usually only found comfort from her mother and father; any attempts from other people would often lack her parent's loving essence. But it was different with Sawyer. She saw so much more in him than everyone else did; he was far from the cold, uncaring, lowlife that most believed he was."Look at those stars, Baby Girl," Sawyer unexpectedly spoke. Maddie kept her head against his chest as she concentrated upward, and the blonde shook his head in sheer astonishment. "Somthin' else ain't it? Back home you'd never see'em this clearly." He chuckled softly, thinking the island might be growing on him. Maddie sighed as she shut her eyes, surprised that she still felt exhausted after hibernating all day. She wondered where her father was in that same moment. Was he gazing upon the same stars, wishing he was with her too? She wanted so badly to know why he'd left. Surely he had a good reason. The girl's chest constricted as she imagined the sound of his voice, believing if she listened carefully enough, she could hear him. Maddie's eyes suddenly shot open as she pushed away from Sawyer's chest and scanned the surrounding area. "You okay, Shorty?" Sawyer asked, observing her delicately. It wasn't in her head, was it? She was so sure that she'd heard her father speaking from a distance. Discouragement lodged in her stomach when her reality remained unchanged, and the child sunk back into sadness. Retreating to her previous position in Sawyer's arms until she heard Jack's voice once more. Maddie stood up and searched around with indecision, unsure what to think or do, and she rapidly decided to run in the direction she heard his voice coming from."Hey, where you goin'?" Sawyer shouted, getting up to follow her. The girl halted, seeing everyone huddled together in the distance. Many thoughts crossed her mind in that short time. It could be anything they were circling, but if these people had consistently done anything since the crash, it had been pursuing her father. She held her breath and waited for his soft voice to resonant in the air. "We can't do this! Every man for himself is not gonna work." Maddie's entire body went numb, and tears welled up in her eyes. Running towards the survivors, she pushed through the crowd until she made it to the front. There he was, standing tall and proud as he spoke to the group. Taking care of everyone like she knew he would, and she feared it was all a dream she'd awaken from at any second."Now, I found water. Freshwater up in the valley," Jack declared with confidence. "I'll take a group out at first light. If you don't wanna come, then find another way to contribute!" He sounded both firm and gentle, and every person heeded to him undoubtedly.The brunette studied the many faces around him, some young, some old, all of them frightened and trusting. It didn't matter; they were all his people to care for now. His eyes then caught sight of his child's sweet and innocent face, and his lips formed a full smile. A waterfall of tears finally erupted from the girl, rushing over to jump into the man's warm embrace. Maddie started to tremble as she wrapped around him and sobbed, feeling lost and found all at the same time. "I’m sorry, baby," Jack whispered, squeezing her in his grasp. “Shhh, it’s alright, daddy's here now.”All the survivors watched as he continued murmuring calm words of reassurance in his daughter's ear. A pure moment most of them could relate to in one way or another. It was a reminder that they all shared basic human needs and desires, which united them in a way many people in the world had forgotten. Then there was Sawyer. The blonde observing in the background like the black sheep of the family. Happy to see Maddie reunited with her father yet heartbroken to lose her. That familiar empty void claiming hold again, reminding him of what he is and always will be. Alone. Just a lonely con man who preys on the weak and needy. A tiger doesn't change his stripes. Jack kissed the child's cheek, and she rested her head on his shoulder. The man looking around as he suddenly realized the many eyes patrolling them. He took a deep breath, ready to proceed with his spontaneous speech. "Last week most of us were strangers. But we're all here now, and God knows how long we're gonna be here," Jack loudly stated, pacing as he strived to make eye contact with everyone. Maddie sniffed and exhaled forcefully through her tears, gripping her father while he carried her with him, and she listened intently along with everyone else. "But if we can't live together," Jack paused, listening to the noises of the night circle them, the group eagerly waiting to hear his words, "we're gonna die alone."✦Everything fell into place after that moment. The group finally came together as Jack acquired his leadership role. It terrified him, feeling he wasn't ready for the immense task ahead, but he accepted it all the same. The brunette sat in front of a small fire with Maddie wrapped in a blanket resting quietly in his arms. He held her tightly to make her feel safe, letting her know he wasn't going anywhere. Though, the girl still clung to him, afraid of waking to find him gone again. The slightest movement made Maddie push closer into him with a firm grip on her father's shirt. Jack kissed her forehead and tenderly laughed, thinking this would be the case when he returned to camp, which honestly, he didn't mind.Thoughts of his journey played over in his head. He'd discovered his father's casket in a pile of debris and luggage. But it was empty. Frustration and rage erupted within the man, and he smashed the wooden box to pieces in defeat. None of his questions received answers, if anything, it had only left him with more uncertainties. However, it also brought him to terms with reality. Christian and Haylee were dead; no matter how much he wished things were different, they never would be. The mistakes, the hurt, it was all said and done. There was no turning back the clock."How's she doin'?" Jack heard, glancing over his shoulder to see Sawyer approaching him, kneeling down to better survey the dormant child. "She's doing much better now," Jack answered, looking at the blonde with a tense but kind smile. Maddie's weary eyes suddenly began to slowly open at the sound of Sawyer's voice."Hey there, Baby Girl," Sawyer said with a soft smile. "Told you he'd come back, now didn't I?" The girl nodded her head, hopelessly working to keep her eyes open, failing miserably as she slipped back into sleep. Sawyer lightly chuckled at her cuteness, turning to witness the giant smirk on Jack's face. "What?" he questioned, trying not to sound defensive."It's nothing," Jack said as he continued to grin."C'mon now, Doc, share with the class," Sawyer casually requested as he threw a small rock into the fire. Jack shook his head, imagining it'd be a stupid notion to share with him."Her mother used to call her that. Baby Girl." Jack gazed at the fire as he reminisced. "Just thinking she's probably glad to hear someone use it again." Sawyer's expression faded into sympathy for both of them. He took a deep breath, brushing his own hair back as he threw another small rock into the hot flames."Find what you were lookin' for out there, Doc?" Sawyer boldly asked. Their sights meeting for a moment while Jack pondered the question."Yes," Jack uttered. "And no." he lowered his shoulders in defeat, and Sawyer smirked at his vague answer. It seemed about right. They weren't exactly Sorority Sisters; there was no reason to expect nor ask for more."Well, don't go runnin' off again any time soon, yeah?" Sawyer stated, placing his palms on his own knees as he began to stand. "She's a damn sad sight to see fallin' apart." Jack peered up, and the man gave him one last smirk accompanied by a lively eyebrow raise before he turned to wander off."Sawyer!" Jack shouted. The blonde halted to glimpse back at him. "I heard what you did for Maddie today. Thank you for..." he paused, staring at the ground as he exhaled, confident that it was a display of his own guilt. "Thank you for watching over her while I was gone."Sawyer idled as he gawked at the brunette, shocked by his sincere gratitude. Pride swelled up inside of him, believing he'd done something right for a change, and he felt appreciated for once in his life. The blonde then coughed uncomfortably as he shook those hopeful ideas out of his brain. Sawyer knew the man wasn't his friend or ally; he certainly didn't see Sawyer as his equal. Jack had no respect for him, and he had no respect for Jack. Sentimentality was a defining trait possessed by weak people. And he was not weak."Yeah, whatever, Doc, don't mention it," the blonde stated, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before resuming his exit.Jack grimaced uncomfortably, somewhat baffled by the blonde's response. He was genuinely thankful for what Sawyer had done, but inside, he still wasn't sure what to think of the man. Unable to interpret him or his intentions. However, Maddie seemed to trust him, for whatever reason, and she perceived people more naturally than he did. So for now, he would put the matter out of his mind. Jack was just glad to have Maddie contently sleeping in his arms as the trauma of the day waned into nothing more than a bad dream.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Rays of sunlight beamed between the trees of the jungle, the air hot and humid as the heat scorched the earth below. Jack and Kate hiked back to camp, backpacks filled with bottles of freshwater. Jack explained all the reasons the caves made a proper shelter and how they might convince everyone to relocate. Kate, however, ignored him as he rambled, reflecting on the night before.She'd headed over to speak with Jack that night, wanting to check on him and Maddie, but Sawyer beat her to them. They didn't converse long, yet something about it made her jealous. She hated how attached Maddie had grown to Sawyer; it gave him so many opportunities to be closer to Jack. But being envious of him was ridiculous. Sawyer didn't have any interest in Jack, and even if he did, Jack would never be interested in him."Kate!" Jack interrupted her thoughts, and she gawked in surprise. "Are you even listening to me?" he inquired with a humorous grin."What?" Kate stammered. "Yeah...of course I am.""Really? What did I say then?" Her eyes widened, and a blush of humiliation hit her cheeks. "You were, uh..." she staggered. "Talking about...the caves or whatever." Jack shook his head and smirked. "You wanna tell me what's on your mind?" he suggested as they both stepped over a large log. Kate sighed, attempting to come up with some alternative explanation. She couldn't reveal the truth, could she? An intriguing notion developed in her mind. What if she indirectly caused Jack to distrust Sawyer on his own? As soon as the idea surfaced, she felt corrupt. Kate understood meddling was wrong, and she'd gotten in trouble for similar reasons before. She never was good at letting things be—especially when she desired a specific outcome. Still, the woman didn't trust Sawyer with either of them and believed he'd exploit them if given a chance. She'd merely be acting in Jack and Maddie's best interest."What do you think of Sawyer?" Kate asked, and Jack erupted with laughter."That's what's on your mind? Sawyer?" he expressed, sounding judgemental. "Why? You got a thing for him?""No!" Kate shouted. "Please. Are you kidding me?" The last thing she wanted him to assume was that she had an attraction to Sawyer. "I'm serious, what's your impression of him?""I don't know, Kate," Jack stated, somewhat annoyed; he didn't understand why his opinion on Sawyer mattered. "He's alright. Sometimes irritating as hell, but the guy's not a criminal or anything."Kate halted and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, peering at the dirt in mortification, and Jack glanced back when he realized how rude he sounded."I'm sorry, Kate, I didn't...you know what I meant," Jack stated as he approached the woman and clutched her shoulder. Kate grinned while her eyes began to water up. "Hey, come on. What's this really about?""Jack, I worry about Maddie with him," she replied with a tremble in her voice. "You didn't see them together yesterday. Sawyer got so possessive and wouldn't let anyone around her." Jack furrowed his brow, not sure what to make of her confession. "At one point, Sayid tried to take her from him, and Sawyer...he's just way too close to her. It's weird, don't you think?"Jack shrugged his shoulders with a wild smirk. "Honestly, Kate, not really. That's kind of the typical response when someone gets to know Maddie; people are drawn to her. It's always been that way, even when she was a baby.""Yeah, but Jack—""Kate..." Jack interrupted. "Look, don't take this the wrong way, but..." He gave her a tender grin. "You think maybe you're a little jealous because you wish Maddie would connect with you?""No! That's not it! I..." She dropped her shoulders in defeat, releasing a long breath before moving closer to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt. "I just worry about you both, you know? I don't want anything to happen. There's a lot of sick people out there, and I mean, even though I would never hurt you or Maddie, you didn't believe I could be a felon at first either, right?" She gazed up at him, and Jack's heart fluttered as her green eyes glistened in the sunlight.Choking on his words, he answered, "Well, I mean...I uh..." Jack regarded the woman as her palm touched his chest, and he swallowed strenuously, uncertain if her advances turned him on or made him uncomfortable. "I guess that's true...""Just keep that in mind, okay? Maybe I'm wrong, and he's just your average asshole and nothing more." She laughed, but the man remained motionless. "Better safe than sorry, right?"Jack couldn't concentrate on her words as the warmth of her touch made him nervous. He hadn't been with anyone since Haylee because he knew no woman could ever compare. But even if he had any interest in finding someone, they'd also have to win over Maddie—which left some rather high expectations to meet. It didn't matter though, because logically, these current physical sensations were merely an instinctive response to Kate's seductive behavior. In other words, his male hormones striving to convince him he needed something he didn't necessarily want. Jack gently pushed her away, and an awkward tension settled between them as he took a few steps back."Yeah," he muttered while stiffly rubbing his neck. "I'll keep that in mind." Jack presented a small smile before turning to continue towards the beach. Kate wondered if she'd come on too strong, but she was confident they shared the same attraction, and that's all she needed.✦Ocean water pressed closer to Maddie and Walt as they relaxed near the shore, shifting the sand with their palms. Matters had escalated earlier that day between Walt's father and the Korean man who attacked Michael for unknown reasons. Furthermore, the couple speaking only Korean made investigating further problematic, giving Sayid no choice but to cuff him to debris for the time being.It confused Walt, unable to perceive the truth—knowing his father about as well as he knew the Korean man. He confided in Maddie on the subject, describing his life with his mother and stepfather and how little they'd told him about Michael. "Do you and your dad ever fight?" Walt asked as his palm rearranged the sand. Maddie looked out to the sea and recalled the many occasions she and her father experienced disappointment in one another. But her parents explained that even when you love someone, they could still anger or hurt you. She stared at him and nodded her head. "Really? But you seem so close," he remarked. "My dad doesn't even want me. I overheard him say I'm not supposed to be his."Maddie's eyes widened in shock. If she ever heard Jack say the same, it would crush her. Yet she wasn't sure that meant Michael didn't love Walt, and she wondered if pieces of the story were missing. She slid over to lean on him, showing him he wasn't alone. Walt raised an eyebrow at the unexpected gesture, and part of him considered politely separating her from his shoulder. Instead, he peacefully reciprocated the girl's gesture. He was an only child like Maddie, and honestly, it was nice to have someone he could count on."Walt!" Michael shouted from afar, and both children glimpsed in his direction. He held Vincent's leash in one hand as the anxious mutt circled him. "Come and take care of this dog, man!""Vincent!" Walt shouted before rushing towards them. Maddie sighed and questioned when her own father might return. It was hard getting her to agree to his departure, but in the end, the girl realized she wasn't the only one he was caring for now. So Maddie treated it similar to a typical day back home when work and school kept them apart. As long as his whereabouts were known, she could control her anxiety. Suddenly, Maddie sensed eyes on her and glanced up to see the Korean man analyzing her solitude. She tilted her head to examine him. He didn't seem dangerous; some resentment and rage pent up inside but a good heart underneath. Maddie awkwardly waved, and a small smile surfaced on his features before he did the same."Hey, Shorty!"Maddie's enthusiasm grew at the sound of Sawyer's voice, and she turned to view him strolling towards her location. She eagerly arose and raced over to meet him. Sawyer crouched down, and Maddie hit him like a speeding bullet before coiling around his neck. It made him swell with pride to see her happiness and immediate acceptance. Maddie pulled back and inspected him with a grin."Been lookin' for you all mornin'!" Sawyer declared, exaggerating his efforts. "Got somethin' I wanna show you."He extracted two small seashells from his pocket. One Maddie recognized as her gift to him, but the other shell was almost identical. It possessed the same mesmerizing ridges and creamy white color; however, there was also a patch of brown like it had been burnt. Sawyer held it up and offered it to the child, and she gawked in astonishment, pointing at herself."Yeah, Baby Girl, it's for you," he responded, snickering at the girl's innocence.Maddie's appearance transformed into excitement, and she took the shell looking rather pleased. It was more than just a gift; it symbolized their friendship. She never had a best friend before—aside from her parents—and she was happy to have Sawyer as the first. She hugged him again, and he squeezed her tight while shutting his eyes."Maddie."Jack's voice traveled to them from afar, and they broke their embrace to look in his direction. Maddie gave Sawyer one last hug before running to greet her father, and the blonde slowly stood, watching Jack pick her up to hold. As he sweetly hugged her small form, his sights returned to Sawyer's own, but his expression wasn't pleasant. It possessed a dark aura of fear and confusion, and Sawyer grimaced with uneasiness. Jack kept him at a distance, and he understood why, but he had never stared at him as cold as he was now.The brunette kissed Maddie's cheek before he pulled her away to capture her attention. She giggled at his words as he carried her elsewhere, their voices to faint for Sawyer to hear. Sawyer noticed Kate standing beside them, and it was her presence that bugged him more than anything. A large smirk played on the woman's lips as she followed behind them, and it caused his gut to clench.✦Jack wandered over to search the backpack stashed in the tent's corner. He'd spent a few minutes informing everyone about the caves, and many seemed happy to follow him. However, others such as Sayid, Michael, and —to his astonishment—Kate remained unsatisfied with the idea. They labeled it as giving up hope of salvation, whereas Jack called it surviving long enough for rescue. He glimpsed behind and noticed Maddie relaxing in the sand, drawing something small on her arm."Maddie, you're not supposed to draw on yourself, remember?" Maddie frowned, lowering her shoulders in objection. "Don't give me that face," he tenderly replied while rummaging within the backpack. Maddie's lips twisted at his hypocrisy, looking at the artwork on his shoulder. The child seized the paper beside her and ran over to show him. Jack took the sheet to find the front and back covered in illustrations. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll have to find you more paper." He swept his palm over her head and placed the paper aside before zipping up the pack. Maddie hugged his arm and began to pout."What is it, sweetie? You bored?" Maddie rested against his soft skin and nodded. "Well, come on. You can help Daddy then," Jack responded, grunting as he picked her up from the ground. Maddie peered at him, perplexed by the suggestion. He led them outside the tent, tossing the pack over his shoulder before gesturing at the man cuffed to the debris. "We're going to check and make sure everything's okay."Maddie raised her eyebrow and tilted her head, wondering how they'd accommodate them without words. Jack began heading towards them, and Maddie created a talking mouth with her palm, pointing to the couple."They speak another language, Monkey," he explained. "You know, like how Mommy spoke differently to people sometimes?" Haylee was fluent in a few languages, including Korean, now that he thought about it. The corner of his lips lifted, remembering how she'd curse in french whenever he pissed her off, fully aware of how much the language barrier got under his skin. They approached the foreign man and woman, and Jack placed Maddie down, greeting them as he walked ahead. The Korean man aggressively shouted at him, and Maddie hid behind her father's leg, intimidated by the outburst."Hey, easy!" Jack stated while submissively raising his hands. "I'm here to help." He motioned to the man's red and raw wrist. Maddie peeked from behind his leg, and the couple glanced at her with interest. "This is my daughter Maddie," Jack expressed before pointing at himself. "And my name's Jack. I'm a doctor."Their features were bland as the woman uttered to her husband, and he gazed at the small girl again. Maddie presented him with a half-smile, and for a moment, she swore his lips curved. With a heavy sigh, the man finally waved the doctor over, muttering foreign words under his breath. Jack stepped forward to observe his injury, and the woman leaned in to get his attention. "Sun," She pointed at herself and then her husband. "Jin." The brunette warmly grinned and unzipped the bag, handing Jin a water bottle."A little at a time," he instructed, creating a small gesture with his fingers so the man would understand. Jack applied ointment to Jin's coarse skin, and Maddie wrapped around her father's arm to watch him work. It surprised Sun to see her husband take so well to the child, watching him grin at Maddie as she giggled and burrowed into Jack's shoulder from embarrassment. She missed this softer side of him.✦"I don't understand why you won't come with me, Kate," Jack said as he kneeled beside the woman relaxing near the ocean shore."I just can't... dig in," Kate replied, almost mocking his earlier statement about digging in together to survive. All of them moving to the caves seemed harmless, but she'd never been good with settling down. Nonetheless, it conveyed an unmistakable message to Jack, and he didn't have time for games. It was simple; she was either with him or not, and her actions appeared to suggest the latter."How did you get to be this way, Kate?" Jack sensitively questioned. "Just what is it that you did?""You had your chance to know," she replied like a stubborn mule, and the brunette pursed his lips. He didn't do mixed signals, not anymore. The woman obviously had commitment issues, and that was fine; however, to flirt heavily with him one minute then act as if he were pressuring her the next was not acceptable."Fine. It's your choice. I'll see you later." He quickly sauntered into the distance, and Kate grew conflicted. Part of her wished to call him back, but she knew it would never happen. Desperation didn't suit her. She was independent and fearless—or, so she told herself.Jack traveled back to the tent, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Women always seemed to make situations so complicated, and he didn't understand it. He stopped to examine the beach, taking in a deep breath when he spotted Sawyer reading while reclining against the plane wreckage, and he recalled the dilemma Maddie presented him with earlier. The man strolled over with confidence, watching his own shadow cast over him. Sawyer looked up, and his expression turned to pure delight."Howdy there, Doc. What can I do ya for?" he suggested as he rose from the ground."You've collected a lot of stuff since the crash," Jack affirmed. "There's something I am looking for, so I'm here to search your stash."Sawyer laughed at the man's bold notion. "All due respect, Doc, but that ain't gonna happen." Jack rushed forward, ready to object when the blonde signaled him to stop. "But!" he proclaimed. "You tell me whatcha lookin' for, and I'm sure we can work somethin' out."Jack rolled his eyes in substantial annoyance. Only five seconds into their conversation, and he already wanted to kill him. He didn't like the idea of bartering for his own property; however, what he wanted wasn't for himself."Did you find a sketchbook?" he inquired as calmly as he could manage. "It's got a hard black cover with a wire spiral spine. Ring any bells?"Sawyer issued a low chuckle as he savored the control; he loved it, especially over someone as dominant as Jack. It felt exhilarating—dare he even say arousing. He wandered over to rummage his stash for a minute before extracting the man's request."This what you lookin' for, Doc?" Jack pushed forward to seize it when the blonde smoothly forced him backward. "Whoa, calm down there, Rambo," he declared with charm. "I got the merchandise, so you pay the fee. Or did they not teach you how business works at that fancy med school of yours?""Hand it over, Sawyer!" Jack exclaimed with raw intimidation, but Sawyer merely snickered at his performance."You hit your head this mornin', Doc? I don't do handouts.""One way or another, you will give me that book, Sawyer. It's not yours to pawn away to whoever the hell you want!""So, it belongs to you?""No, it's Maddie's!" Soon as the child's name slipped from his lips, Sawyer's devil-may-care attitude faded in a matter of seconds, and Jack felt stupid for not playing that card earlier. The blonde shuffled in place, trying to shrug it off as no big deal."Well, I reckon I can make an exception this one time," he muttered. "It's of little use to me, anyway." He began to hand it over but quickly yanked it back again. "First," he declared as he examined the cover. "I wanna have myself a little looksie."Jack shook his head and strived to control the urge to strangle him. Sawyer opened the book and witnessed the most realistic human sketch he'd ever seen; one might even mistake it for a black-and-white photograph. He progressed through the pages, each new picture more stunning than the last."Hell. Maddie's either a prodigy or you're lying about who this belongs to." Jack stature shrunk, and he looked away to avoid the blonde's discerning eyes."It's my wife's, Haylee. She is..." Pain twisted his gut, causing him to feel sick. "She was an artist.""They're pretty damn good. Is she well known?" Sawyer asked, intrigued by the subject."Somewhat, yeah," Jack answered, bothered by his intrusive investigation. "You wanna hand it over now, Sawyer?""Why? You late for a meetin'?" Sawyer sarcastically expressed. "Hold your horses!" He turned the page, and a wild smirk soon claimed his features. "Well, well. Ain't this a mighty fine representation of you, Doc," Sawyer stated, revealing the sketch of him sleeping with his bare upper torso on display. Jack's face slightly reddened, and he reached forward to capture the book while Sawyer stepped further away to keep it from him."Give me the damn book, Sawyer!""You ask her to draw you like one of her French girls, Jack?" Sawyer laughed and nearly fell over when Jack finally snatched the item from him. "Come on, Doc! I was only kiddin'!" Sawyer yelled as he stomped off. "You look good!"Jack continued to trudge far as he could from the blonde, stopping when he neared the tent. He opened the book to find the illustration and stared at it with sorrow. It happened so long ago, he'd forgotten about its existence. Yet that morning was still clear as day to him.✧
"Jack Shepard, I swear if you move from that spot!" Haylee expressed playfully to the man lying in bed. The sheets covered both of their bare skin as Haylee sat cross-legged beside her husband, who'd just awoken a few minutes prior.
"Babe, the whole point of coming to Paris for our honeymoon was so you could paint the Eiffel Tower, not draw me half-naked," Jack announced as he weakly chuckled, somewhat drowsy still.
"Eiffel Tower's not going anywhere, Jack. Besides, you're so much prettier," Haylee argued, staring between him and her drawing, and he smiled over the witty comment. "Now, would you close your eyes and shut-up?" Jack lifted his eyebrow in protest, compelling her to giggle at his rebellious behavior. "How about this, you quit moving, and when I finish, we can do something else that involves being naked and not talking."
"Are you trying to bribe me with sex?" Jack asked, pretending to be offended.
"Oui, prends-le ou laisse-le, Monsieur," she answered, and the sound of her beautiful French instantly turned him on.
"Damn it, Haylee," Jack responded as he shut his eyes for the artist.
"Bon garçon. Vous ne le regretterez pas."
"If you keep saying things in French, baby, I won't be able to stop myself from jumping you right now." Haylee grinned and bit her lip as she continued to work, striving to hide how equally stimulated his warning made her.
✦Jack suggested Claire receive a check-up from him before they left for the caves—seeing how she also decided to remain at the beach. He crouched down in front of the woman and began to check her pulse, glancing over to see Maddie napping in the sand. She slept more than he liked, but with all the time she spent playing in the sun, it wasn't unusual."I wish you'd come with us to the caves, Claire. I'd feel better if I checked on you regularly," he insisted, and Claire smiled, grateful someone cared about her and the baby's well-being."It just seems safer here," she reciprocated. "Plus, what if someone does come?" Jack huffed while examining the fresh scars on her skin. Everyone seemed to forget—you can't be rescued if you're dead. "Well, how are you doing? Any nausea or light-Headedness?""I'm fine, Jack. Really everything is good," she expressed with a soft chuckle. The two had become fast friends since the crash—mostly because of Maddie's fondness for her. After Haylee's death, Maddie often disliked the adult females that walked into their lives. Most of them were the occasional blind dates that Margo forced Jack to go on, leading the child's therapist to believe Maddie viewed them as contenders for his attention, which caused her to act out. It made Claire the first woman to pass those walls, and she didn't even know it."I bother more about giving birth on the island than anything else," Claire expressed. "You have delivered a baby before, right?""Yes." Jack laughed. "All of this is overwhelming, I'm sure, and I can't imagine what you're experiencing, Claire." He gripped her shoulder with confidence. "But I promise, I will help you through this." Claire beamed over his kind words; she truly admired and trusted him."Did you deliver Maddie?""Yeah, I did. One of the best and scariest days of my life," he answered, grinning as he reminisced the memory."What about her mother? Was she afraid?" Jack's happiness quickly waned. "Childbirth didn't scare her, no. She worried more about what came after all of that," he answered in a drawn-out breath. "Haylee wanted to be a mom all her life, but I'll never forget how terrified she was that day. Afraid of her life-long dream falling apart." He peered at his baby girl and smirked. "She was an amazing mother, though, and Maddie really looked up to her."Claire reached forward to touch his forearm. "I bet you miss her a lot," she said with compassion."Yeah," he answered. "I try not to dwell on it, or hell, even talk about it too much." He peered down to watch his hands as they slightly trembled."It's not a weakness to miss someone, Jack."She was right; it wasn't a weakness at all, but Jack's mind still convinced him of the opposite. He didn't combine well with vulnerability; it usually made him react unpredictably."You know, being a father actually terrified me, even started to think I didn't want to be one at all." Claire raised an eyebrow in skepticism, and the man chuckled. "It's true. Haylee pushed me on it for quite some time before we started trying to get pregnant, which is ironic because now I can't imagine living in a world where Maddie doesn't exist." He smiled at his sleeping child again. "If Haylee didn't reassure me as much as she did about it...I'd probably be alone right now." Tears swelled in his eyes, obscuring his vision. "She gifted me with the most beautiful, caring, and kindest child I could've ever asked for. She saved me..." he uttered, choking on his emotions as they rolled up his throat. "But I couldn't save her."Claire brushed his arm with her palm while holding his hand with the other."I doubt that's true. Just because you couldn't save her from death doesn't mean you didn't save her at all," she declared with undeniable optimism. "Maddie came from you too, and if Haylee always wanted to be a mum, then she was your gift as well." Her argument was hard to counter, and he imagined Haylee would say something similar."Thanks, Claire." Jack clutched her hand. "Sure you don't want to reconsider the caves?" he playfully inquired, and Claire chuckled at his persistence. "Well, can't blame me for trying. You still have those prenatal vitamins I gave you, right?""I um..." She frowned and broke eye contact with him. "I must have misplaced them," she answered, ashamed of herself.Yet Jack remained calm and inquisitive. "What do you mean, you misplaced them?""I've taken one every day, but this afternoon I couldn't find them." Jack attempted to wrap his mind around the situation. It seemed absurd; who on earth would steal from a pregnant woman? Only one person came to mind—Sawyer.✦The waves crashed against the sand, and Sawyer breathed deeply while closing his eyes. More often than not, the days passed by slowly with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Insanity was hard to avoid; it reminded him of his loneliness, and taking a breather helped calm his nerves. At that moment, he noticed Jack rattling through his things, and he furrowed his brow in frustration. Jack made it difficult for him to play nice. If not for Maddie, he wouldn't bother trying to win his approval at all. But she shielded her father's welfare; therefore, if he hurt Jack, he also hurt Maddie. Sawyer exhaled and wandered over to greet his intruder, inspecting him with interest as he ransacked his belongings."And here I thought stealin' was beneath you, Doc," Jack instantly glared at him, breathing heavily as he held up the prenatal vitamins."You want to talk about theft, Sawyer!" he exclaimed. "You stole these from Claire!""You wanna calm down, Doc?" Sawyer responded smoothly, yet he detected a plea in his own voice as the accusations took him by surprise. "I didn't steal nothin'!""Then why the hell are they here, Sawyer?" Jack demanded."Hell if I know!""You can't even own up to it! What kind of person steals from a pregnant woman?""Well, ain't that the real question," Sawyer responded. He was used to being blamed for crimes he didn't commit. "The answer is, I wouldn't! I didn't do this!""I'm so done with your bullshit, Sawyer!" Jack bellowed, chuckling in disbelief. "The only person you care about is yourself!"Sawyer tried to keep the words from affecting him, but it was as if an invisible blade pierced his heart. Truthfully, he didn't know how to react, and his firm posture weakened. Worst of all, Jack now saw him the same as everyone else; he didn't want that."Jack, I swear—""Don't!" Jack exclaimed, pushing closer to stare him down. "I don't want to see you around Maddie anymore, got it? You stay away from her!" The punishment hardly seemed fair, and Sawyer wished he could prove his innocence. Jack sharply turned to leave, and the blonde stumbled forward. "Jack! I didn't take'em!" he shouted, hoping he might listen to reason. But it was too late; the damage was already done.✦The next morning, Jack found himself tenser than usual. As he and Maddie packed their items from the tent, Kate dropped by to discuss where their relationship stood. It was irritating, to say the least, and Jack had enough on his plate already. He grabbed some clothes and shoved them into a suitcase while listening to Kate explain Sayid's plan to locate the distress signal."That signals coming from somewhere on the island. If we can—""The signal's been running on a loop for sixteen years, Kate!" Jack declared with frustration. "And the woman who left it, she wasn't rescued. What makes you think it's gonna be any different for us?""I believe it," Kate answered, her expression practically repugnant. It was as if she deemed him a monster for not risking his and Maddie's lives on blind faith. Maddie listened silently while handing over items to pack. She didn't understand what the argument entailed, only that it involved Kate not going to the caves—which, in all honesty, relieved her."Look, Kate, I don't know why you're explaining yourself to me. You want to stay, then stay." Jack declared, his voice exhibiting hostility towards her."Jack, I want you to understand why.""I understand why!" He darted his vision at her, giving a scowl of his own, and Kate's stance narrowed while taking a step back. Jack clutched his forehead and pursed his lips. "I don't have time for this conversation, Kate. You don't need to explain, just go." A frown formed on her face while her eyes softened; she was sure she'd made matters worse. Maddie watched her saunter off in defeat, and a sense of enjoyment flowed within. She questioned if that was an adverse reaction. Sure, she didn't like Kate, but the woman was still a human being with emotions. A few minutes passed before they'd finished gathering most of their belongings when Sawyer dropped his luggage inside the tent. Maddie beamed at him, and Jack's irritation increased from the unwanted presence."What do you want, Sawyer?""I heard you were vacatin' the premises. Thought I best lay claims to my new digs before somebody else did," Sawyer replied whimsically. He was aware Jack detested him now, yet humor remained his only defense mechanism. Maddie and Sawyer's eyes met, and the blonde presented a friendly grin. It prompted Jack into attack mode as he stepped in front of his daughter."Did I not make myself clear yesterday, Sawyer?" Jack asserted, and his opponent's smile casually faded. Sawyer took the threat seriously, but he wasn't about to submit to the man's commanding nature."Sorry, Doc, didn't realize smilin' was listed on my restrainin' order," he responded with a laid-back refinement.Jack huffed and turned to address his child. "Come on, baby, let's go." He clutched his backpack and tossed it over his shoulder before obtaining the suitcase next. Maddie looked like a lost puppy as she glanced between her father and Sawyer. They'd never seen eye to eye, that was always apparent; however, this interaction revealed something different, and she didn't like it. The child stood and walked over to the blonde to say goodbye when Jack seized her hand, gently tugging her in the opposite direction. Maddie peered behind as they departed the tent, her friend growing smaller. She wanted to say goodbye, and Jack's forcefulness granted her with a hint of resistance. Maddie tore apart from him and ran back towards the shelter."Maddie," Jack uttered in surprise. Sawyer crouched down when she neared, and the child crashed into him. He held her close and glanced up to view the perplexed expression on Jack's features. Much as he hated to part from the girl, Sawyer knew he had to let her go. Jack was her father, and she needed to listen to him."I'll be alright, Baby Girl," he whispered. "You gotta go on with your daddy now." She hugged him tighter, not wanting to leave him behind. The man pulled her from the hug and grinned in reassurance. "Go on, Shorty." He motioned over to Jack, and she half-smiled, pecking him on the cheek before returning to her father. Jack scowled at him as Maddie retook his hand, and without another word, they disappeared.✦The trip to the caves was a long one—despite their destination only being a mile from the beach—as the luggage and equipment immensely decreased their speed. Jack periodically checked on everyone, but Maddie was who worried him most. Far in the back of the group, she accompanied Jin and Sun, holding the woman's hand as she dragged her feet along the dirt. Jack stared back and sighed in frustration. He merely wanted to protect her, yet he still felt dreadful for isolating her from Sawyer."Hey, Scott," Jack requested, and a man with dark hair turned to face him. "Can you take this for a minute?" He handed Scott the large suitcase before turning to head toward the back of the group. Sun had spoken to the girl in Korean throughout the journey, and though Maddie didn't understand, she listened all the same. As Jack approached them, he provided a kind nod, and the woman greeted him with a smile. "Maddie, why don't you come with me," Jack suggested. Maddie hesitated for a moment before she eventually obeyed, and the man picked her up when she moved towards him. While the rest of them walked ahead, Jack slowed his pace, dwelling behind as he spoke with his child. "You doing okay, Monkey?" he asked. She delayed in her answer again but apathetically nodded, avoiding eye contact. Jack released a heavy breath as he stared ahead. "I know you don't want to hear this, Maddie, but I want you to stay away from Sawyer." Almost instantly, Maddie's gaze popped up, and she gaped while shaking her head in protest of the new rule. "Uh-uh, don't start with me. I'm not changing my mind about this." The girl's eyes became moist, and laying down the law suddenly became difficult, but he stood fast. Her bottom lip quivered, and she shook her head again. It wasn't fair. Sawyer was a good person and her friend. "You're too young to know what's good for you, Maddie."The statement caused rage to build in her stomach, and she began to struggle for her freedom."Hey, Maddie!" Jack placed her on the ground and attempted to calm her disposition, but Maddie refused to disengage. She punched and pushed on his chest as warm tears streamed down her cheeks, and her father's strength overpowered her small body. "Hey! Hey! Stop!" He pulled her into a firm embrace. "Stop it!" Maddie's energy finally drained, and her exertions ceased as she cried even harder into his shoulder. Jack rocked her from side to side in a gentle motion while quieting the child's painful sobs. "Sweetie, Daddy is just trying to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt."The confession meant little when there was nothing to protect her from. Sawyer wasn't dangerous. Maddie wished he'd avoid Kate—who she considered the real threat—yet she didn't see him ending that relationship anytime soon."Why are you fighting me like this, huh?" Jack pulled her back and brushed the hair from her reddened face. "Hmm?" Sorrow flooded from her glistening eyes as she inhaled with unease. He sighed and shook his head, smiling at her sad and angelic appearance. "Well," Jack said while he removed his backpack. "I was going to wait until we got to the caves to give this to you, but..." Maddie wiped her nose as he rummaged through the bag and pulled out her drawing book. He displayed it before her, and the child's face light up. "For the moment, can we come to a truce?"Maddie grew conflicted, uncertain if she should let him win her over so effortlessly. However, it would likely take as much time to crack him as it would her, and staying angry with him was always a challenge. She took the book from his hands, holding it tight against her chest and nodding. "Okay," Jack said before kissing her forehead and plucking her from the earth. "You know, you're a hard one to bargain with." Maddie half-smiled at his jest and leaned in to nuzzle their heads together. Her father was most definitely stubborn, but she still loved him with all her heart.✦About thirty minutes later, the group finally arrived at the caves. Right away, everyone noticed the contrast compared to the beach. No sun beating down on them, a gentle breeze to keep them cool, and the comfortable ambiance around the freshwater oasis. Jack set down the large suitcase he and Hurley were carrying, and his lungs took in the crisp air. It was definitely an excellent place for a temporary home."Dude, what's in this thing, cinder blocks?" Hurley asked, catching his breath."Pack everything I thought might be useful without leaving the other's short-handed," Jack replied."Hey," Charlie announced as he walked over. "You guys need a hand? I used to lug the band's equipment before we had roadies. Way back in the day." He reached down to take a bag, and Jack's eyes widened."No, Charlie, the zippers—" The top of the suitcase flopped open, and a mixture of medications piled amongst his feet. "Broken." Maddie tried not to giggle at the accident.Charlie looked up with embarrassment. "Sorry. I'm just trying to hel—""Help. I know," Jack acknowledged, patting the man's back with a grin. "It's okay."While Charlie gathered the medication, Jack recruited Hurley to help him with the rest of the luggage. But moments after returning, he found the musician snooping through the supplies."What are you doing?" Jack kindly inquired, and Charlie nervously pulled back."Oh, uh..." He grappled with his words. "Have a…headache," he finally answered. Jack placed the bags he was carrying on the terrain and grabbed the bottle from him."Diazepam," he said with a small smirk. "That's for anxiety.""I was looking for aspirin.""Pretty strong stuff for a headache."Charlie rubbed at his sweaty face, looking stretched thin. "Yeah. Right.""Hey," Jack stated. "You okay? You're looking a little—""No, it's nothing. It's just a headache," Charlie clarified. Perhaps he thought he was fooling the doctor, but he wasn't. Jack observed him closely as he commenced with his previous task again."Charlie, leave it. Go get some water; maybe you're dehydrated." he declared. "Charlie, I got it." He touched his arm to prevent him from doing any more. "Go take care of yourself, man." The blonde stared at him like a helpless child. "We don't need you right now."Charlie grimaced, and Jack saw a hint of resentment flicker in his eyes before he nodded and went to sit out of the way with his guitar.✦With her arms crossed, Kate stood before Sawyer and scowled at him in repugnance. Not that it mattered much; it entertained him more than anything. He continued to recline comfortably in his first-class airline seat, appearing complacent about the current situation."You've been hoarding like a packrat since the crash, and you don't have a single laptop?" Kate suggested in annoyance."Well, aren't we testy," he remarked. "You still upset boutcha little breakup? You and Jacko?""It must be exhausting," she expressed, and Sawyer readied himself for manipulation. "Living like a parasite. Always taking, never giving."The blonde beamed. "Well, you got me pegged, dontcha?" Truthfully, it surprised him she couldn't come up with anything better to get underneath his skin."I get it now—""Lookie here, Freckles." He leaned forward in his chair. "Much as I'd love to hear your speech 'bout how I ain't got nothin' to go home to; I got a better idea." Kate raised an eyebrow in suspicion, watching Sawyer extract a laptop from the suitcase beside him and dislodging its battery. "I give you this, and you and Captain Falafel let me tag along to help."Kate snickered at the ridiculous suggestion, yet he didn't break. "You want to help us?" Sawyer smirked. "You think you know me so well," he suggested, and the amusement in her expression faltered. "Yeah, I wanna help, but I ain't doin' this for you." The woman's brow furrowed while attempting to translate his cryptic remark."Fine." She quickly snatched the battery from him. "Come on.""You're welcome!" Sawyer protested sarcastically before he got up to follow behind.✦Charlie relaxed by the small pool of water, strumming a soft tune on his guitar when Maddie approached him—timid as ever. She studied his performance with interest, finding immense beauty in the audible vibrations. Before her mother passed, she used to listen to her father when he'd play the piano; a pastime she desperately missed. Charlie's song finally ended, and he glanced up to smile at her."Did you like that?" Maddie beamed, stretching forward to examine the instrument. She carefully stroked its smooth mahogany surface and plucked at a single string. "You want me to teach you?" Charlie invited, and Maddie pulled back while an intense blush appeared on her cheeks, intimidated by his talent. "Come on. It'll be fun." He placed her hand on the strings. "Let's start with—""Hey, dude, this yours?" Hurley interrupted, gesturing to the guitar case in his hand."Oh, yeah," Charlie answered before placing his guitar aside to receive his belonging. "Probably wondering because I played base in Drive Shaft." Hurley stared blankly, uninterested in the man's ramblings. "Wrote a bunch of tunes on that. You All Everybody.""Listen, man. Jack just wants you to find another place for it. He's moving supplies and says it's in the way."Hurley presented a short sympathetic expression before turning to leave, and Charlie's confidence descended into defeat. Who was Jack to tell everyone what to do and where things should go? Anger overcame him, and before he knew it, Charlie headed into the caverns, ready to give Jack a piece of his mind. The dark and moist atmosphere immediately enveloped him as he stepped into the cave, and straight ahead, he detected Jack examining the walls with a flashlight."You know, a lot of people look up to me! They respect me! And you..." "Charlie...""You just treat me like I'm some bloody child! Like I'm some useless joke!" Charlie exclaimed in a frenzy.Jack shook his head with profound confusion. "What are you talking about?""Charlie's not good enough to do this! Charlie's just in the way!""Let's sit down; let me take a look at you, man." Jack asserted, growing impatient with the man's unexplained lecture."Oh, you're gonna look out for me, yeah? We'll look out for each other, that's how it is?""Charlie, just calm down, alright. You're not yourself right now.""You don't know me! I'm a bloody ROCK GOD!"The earth suddenly began to quake beneath them as Charlie's voice echoed through the darkness, and they panicked when dust saturated the air. The two of them made a break for the exit when a giant rock collapsed on Jack, pinning him to the ground and knocking him unconscious. Charlie skipped out from the opening, coughing as dirt trailed after him."Charlie, where's Jack?" Hurley shouted. "Where's Jack!"Maddie ran up beside the large man, waiting for the same answer, and Charlie slowly pointed to the newly blocked passage. Her stomach sank, and she rushed over to the fallen rocks, frantically tugging at them. Sun pulled her back, murmuring foreign words as the child resisted. Jin wandered over to gently brush the child's back and soothe her spirits. After a few minutes, Maddie finally settled, weeping profusely into the woman's torso."Jack!" Hurley cried out towards the sealed entrance. "Jack, can you hear me?""I don't know what happened. We were just talking, and it came down on us! It all happened so fast!" Charlie explained, peering at the child he'd possibly just orphaned."Dude, we gotta get help!" Hurley yelled. "Charlie, go down to the beach and get help!""Okay! I'm on it!" Charlie stammered before rushing away with determination."And make sure you tell Sawyer and Kate!"✦Sawyer followed Kate and Sayid as they traveled far into the valley. The two murmured to one another—presumably about him—and he shook his head in disgust. If not for his strong reasoning, he might have regretted offering to assist, but he was doing it for Maddie. If this plan worked, it would mean they'd all get to go home, and Jack could focus solely on Maddie again as he should. He noticed how much the man's absence affected the girl; how abandoned it made her feel. She deserved more than that.They finally reached a remote destination in which Sayid removed the antenna from his backpack, handing it to Sawyer."You want to help? Attach this antenna up in that tree as high as you can," he instructed."Golly, thanks, boss," Sawyer responded. Accepting orders from the Iraqi wasn't something he particularly cherished. As he strolled off to do as instructed, Sayid shifted to present Kate with his rigid aspect."I don't trust him," he declared, and the woman smiled at his relatable insight."Who does?" she answered without a care in the world. Sayid tossed his backpack over his shoulder while his expression exhibited profound concern."I don't trust him with you." His comment caused Kate to blush slightly. It was nice to know someone cared, but she didn't need protection; she could take care of herself."I can handle him," she replied with blazing confidence. Sayid smirked and nodded in support. "Very well, then. Five o'clock, watch for my flare," he instructed, stepping forward to grasp her shoulder. "And stay alert."✦Once everyone from the beach showed up, they began digging rapidly. Michael had worked construction for many years and showed them a safe place to obtain a passageway. While they worked, Sun held Maddie close, singing to her in Korean. The child remained utterly defeated, and she wished Sawyer was there.After two hours of digging, they finally breached through the rubble."Hey!" Michael shouted. "We're through!""Jack!" Hurley shouted. "Jack! Can you hear me, Jack?" Silence persisted, but Hurley refused to give up. "Come on, dude, answer me." A few seconds of tranquility lingered, leaving them all discouraged until Jack grunted from the other end in discomfort. "I hear him!""He's alive!" Boone yelled. Maddie's head perked up, and she quickly raced over to stand beside Michael and Hurley, waiting for her father to speak again."Jack, bro, you okay?" Hurley asked."I'm..." Jack started almost too weak to speak. "I'm pinned; I can't move." He shifted slightly, rewarded with only a sharp pain in his shoulder. "I can't move!" The situation riddled his voice with anxiety, and Maddie pictured him lying helpless and alone. She jumped forward, ready to crawl into the tunnel, but Michael quickly stopped her."Maddie, no!" Michael shouted, his heart skipping a beat. The child fought against his grip and whined for her freedom. All the while, Jack listened from the other side, hating that she had to endure this again."Madison," Jack calmly exclaimed, and Maddie froze at the sound of his voice. "Baby, I'm fine. It will be okay." If she had the chance, she'd put herself in harm's way for him, and he didn't want that. "Listen to me, Monkey. I need you to stay with Sun until I get out of here, okay?" Maddie nodded her head—far too upset to remember he couldn't see her movements."She heard you, Jack," Michael replied. Sun slowly approached and took the girl's palm, leading her elsewhere."Charlie was with me!" Jack exclaimed, fearing the worst."It's okay. He made it out," Hurley responded.Michael began to pace around the area, trying to decide the best course of action. If Jack couldn't move, then there was only one option; someone needed to unpin him."Okay. I'll crawl through—""No." Everyone turned to watch Charlie walk forward with determination. "You got a son, mate. Who will take care of him if something happens to you?" Michael stayed quiet, lacking any good reasons to disagree. "Everyone here has someone...except for me," Charlie said with a sigh. "Let me do this."All of them agreed on letting Charlie risk his life for Jack. Michael provided him with instructions, and Hurley handed him some water, wishing him luck. Charlie entered the tunnel headfirst and shimmied down the narrow passageway. Everything went according to plan until the earth trembled again, dust falling on top of the blonde while he quickened his pace. He crawled out the other end, choking on the fallen rock particles, and a hint of terror overcame him to see the exit behind now blocked. He searched around with his flashlight, locating Jack lying helpless underneath the rubble.Charlie presented a small reassuring grin. "I'm here to rescue you."✦Sawyer sat on the ground and fiddled with a loose strand of grass, studying Kate as she obsessed over time. For over an hour, she'd been continuously checking her wristwatch, waiting eagerly to set off her bottle rocket for Sayid. He chuckled at the woman's uptight behavior."Still ain't five. Just like the last time you checked your watch," Sawyer murmured, flicking the blade of grass to his side."I don't want to miss Sayid's signal," she answered while tapping her foot impatiently. "Remember, I'll fire the flare, and you set off the antenna."Sawyer displayed his pearly whites with gratitude. "I just thank the good Lord I gotcha here to keep remindin' me."For a moment, Kate believed she might actually enjoy his company as she couldn't help but smirk at his witty banter. Although she wanted to hate him—even convincing herself she did—the man understood her. They both knew what the life of an outcast involved."It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it," Kate playfully replied while strolling over to sit in front of him."So, Kate," he articulated. "You wanna tell me why you tried to frame me?" Kate glimpsed up, perplexed by the strange question. "Claire's meds somehow ended up in my stash. The Doc found'em and, well, we ain't exactly on speakin' terms anymore." He raised an eyebrow in her direction, watching her snicker at the accusations."Why the hell would I want to frame you, Sawyer?""You know, Keepin' Maddie apart from me ain't gonna make her like you any better. Kids too damn smart. Matter of fact, if she knew of the situation, she'd probably have figured out your little scheme by now too.""What are you talking about?" Kate declared."You do get why she don't like you, right?" He peered up to study her hurt expression. "You've been all over her daddy since the crash, forcing your way into their lives, and little Maddie feels obligated to put up with you because of Jack." He grinned once more, granting no mercy towards her emotions. "Thing is, she don't trust you, Kate. Hell, after what happened with her mother—""What happened to her mother?"Sawyer furrowed his brow, unable to decide if she was playing him or really didn't know the girl's mother passed. How could she not? It disturbed him to think she hadn't asked Jack about it at all."You kiddin' me? You didn't hear 'bout her mother?" He darkly chuckled. "Well, if that don't prove my point, what will?""What happened to her mother?" Kate repeated with a hint of aggression in her tone."I mean, man's still wearin' his weddin' ring for fuck's sake. You didn't bother to ask?"The woman violently stood and kneeled in front of him. "What happened to her mother!" Sawyer's lips curved into a coy smirk, having seen this behavior before."Ain't my place to tell ya that, Freckles.""Hey!" Kate and Sawyer turned to see Scott running over, and both of them moved forward to meet him halfway in curiosity. "Everyone's been looking for you two! Jack's buried in a cave in!""What!" Sawyer exclaimed. "What 'bout Maddie? She okay?""She's fine other than being a little shaken up. But we need everyone's help. Come on!" All of them sprang ahead until Sawyer came to a sudden halt, recalling Jack's orders to stay away from Maddie. Kate peered behind, puzzled by his hesitation."What are you doing? Come on!""Someone's gotta watch for the signal, Freckles," Sawyer answered apathetically, and Kate's expression turned to fear. After hearing what Sawyer said, it seemed he might not be so far off. She'd only acknowledged Maddie's dislike towards her but never asked what the reason was. She wanted to put Maddie first this time."You go. I'll stay," Kate stated while walking towards him."It's done.""Maddie will want you there, Sawyer! She needs you!""Go, Kate." Sawyer insisted."You just preached about Maddie liking you better. What the hell chan—""I can't go!" Sawyer yelled. It didn't surprise him that she assumed doing right by Maddie now changed things. "Jacko made it nice and clear; he don't want me around Maddie. So I can't go because of your brilliant scheme." Kate gawked speechlessly. "Guess you got whatcha wanted." he expressed while pain dripped from his words. "Now, get the hell outta here, Kate."The blonde wandered back to his previous resting spot, but Kate remained frozen and awestruck. She couldn't explain all the emotions ricocheting amongst her brain. Either way, someone needed to go to the caves, and it would not be Sawyer. She shook the troubling thoughts from her head and lingered for an instant before shifting to leave.✦After the tunnel caved in behind Charlie, the rest of the group settled, attempting to figure out an alternative plan."I say we try again," Hurley protested to Michael."We can't just leave them in there," Boone declared in favor of the larger man's plan."If we don't move, they're gonna run out of air!" Hurley exclaimed."Hey, will you stop talking! I'm trying to think!" Michael yelled. It remained a dire situation, and they were all on edge. Jack was their doctor, and Claire would be due soon; they needed him. On top of that, he was Maddie's father. If anyone needed him the most, she did. Maddie stayed perched motionless next to Sun, sinking further into the concept of her father being gone. She dragged her knees closer to her chest, and tears swelled in her eyes. Walt wandered over to sit beside her, placing his palm on her back."Charlie and your dad will find a way out." He half-smiled, wishing he could do more. Vincent came up and licked the girl's arm, whining as he sensed her pain. The moist from her eyes broke free, and Sun pulled her back into her embrace."Where is he!" Kate exclaimed while running over to Michael and the others. "Where is he! Where's Jack?" All of them displayed high levels of worry until Hurley pointed to the cave-in. "Does anyone know if he's alive?""We don't know. Charlie went in there through a tunnel we dug, but it collapsed." Michael answered. Kate ran her palm through her hair, proceeding to breathe strenuously from running the whole way there. She turned to view Sun holding Maddie—the child void of hope in the woman's arms."Why is nobody digging?" Kate rhetorically questioned. She marched towards the closed-in tunnel and began digging, inspiring the rest of them to join her efforts.✦Charlie shoved the massive rock from Jack's body, and the brunette groaned while pulling his arm tight to his chest. His shoulder ached as the bone tugged against many out-of-place ligaments, causing the most unbearable pain."You alright?" Charlie inquired, regarding him with concern."My shoulders dislocated," Jack uncomfortably answered. "You're gonna have to pop it back in.""What!" Charlie exclaimed, peering at him like he'd gone insane. "No, I can't!""I need your help on this, man.""I can't do it, Jack!""Yes, you can," Jack replied with urgent sincerity, and Charlie exhaled in defeat."Okay, what...what do I do?""Take my hand." Charlie strained forward to clasp his palm, and Jack sensed his tension. "Now, when I tell you to, pull as hard as you possibly can.""Jack, I don't know if I can—""You can do this, Charlie."Charlie glanced at him with a scared grimace. "Okay." He positioned himself in a better spot and braced for the command. Jack took a long breath, conscious that what came next would be very painful."Now!" A loud crack echoed the walls as the doctor's shoulder popped back into place. Jack rolled over and groaned aloud at the severe anguish shooting up and down his arm.For over an hour, the two of them remained helpless in the cave, passing the water bottle to one another as they awaited the inevitable. Jack observed Charlie close as the blonde rubbed at his forehead in irritation, appearing worse for wear every minute."How long's it been, Charlie?"Charlie's expression remained blank, slightly shaking his head in confusion. "I don't know what you're going on about.""How long since your last fix?" Jack tried to display discretion towards the matter. Addiction wasn't an easy thing to own up to, and he wanted to offer his support rather than judgment. Charlie shifted in place, knowing more lies was a pointless effort."Almost a day and a half.""How's the withdraw treating you? Any hallucinations?""Apart from the conversation with you in the jungle about an hour ago? No, not really." Both men chuckled, finding comfort in the distraction."Why didn't you say anything? I could have helped you through this.""Yeah. You thinking I'm useless and a Junkie to boot." Charlie expressed with a hint of shame. Jack didn't understand why the man assumed he deemed him useless, but he sympathized with his condition."My wife..." Jack started with hesitation. "She had a heroin addiction, too." Charlie smirked and swayed his head in disbelief."Yeah, right," he objected. "I imagined you with some perfect trophy wife.""She would've kicked your ass if she ever heard you say that." Jack laughed at the thought. "No. She was an addict long before we met, but she relapsed because..." His stature sunk into sadness. "Because of me.""Is that what killed her?" he asked, and Jack furrowed his brow with uncertainty. "Yeah...word travels fast." The mystery behind Jack and Maddie's story fascinated everyone from day one, so it wasn't shocking for him to learn it'd become esteemed gossip."No," Jack replied. "Cancer killed her. I helped her quit the relapse, so I've seen how bad the withdraw can get.""And she never relapsed again?""Nope. I asked her to marry me afterward, and a year and a half later, we had Maddie." He recalled the pleasant memories from that point on. "After Maddie was born, nothing else mattered.""You're lucky. Maddie seems like a good kid.""Yeah, she is," Jack returned with a broad grin.After a moment of silence, Charlie peered around the hollow and dead quiet cavern. "This place reminds me of confession. Those little claustrophobic booths.""I wouldn't have taken you for a religious man," Jack admitted, and Charlie smirked—feeling long estranged from that part of his life."I used to be. Hey, you wanna hear my confession? Might take a while.""Hey," Jack returned with a smirk. "I'm no saint either." The longer the two talked, the more assured Charlie became. Suddenly, the blonde noticed something small flying near the cave ceiling. "What's wrong?""There's a moth.""What?""There's a bloody moth in here!" Charlie exclaimed, standing to inspect the creature. He began clawing at the ceiling, dirt sprinkling on the ground as he made progress. "There's light! I can see light!" Charlie crawled into the small opening he'd discovered, advancing upward until his arm stretched up and penetrated the soil.✦Everyone worked tirelessly to clear the tunnel, but Kate most of all. Michael scolded her multiple times, insisting she take a break before she killed herself, but the woman continued. Hope grew smaller as time went on, and most of them assumed the worst outcome. Maddie snuggled into Sun as she held her tight, and Jin seated himself beside them, looking at his wife with a soft smile. He wanted a family more than anything, but Sun couldn't bear him a child; Maddie was a vision of what they never had."Hey, it's the doctor!" Walt shouted. Everyone glimpsed up to see the miracle for themselves as both men came into view. Kate stumbled forward out of breath, and tremendous relief hit her at the sight of Jack's face. She moved ahead, ready to hug him when Maddie flew past her and jumped into his arms. Jack stumbled back and grunted at the force on his shoulder."Easy. My shoulder," he said with a small chuckle. He squeezed his good arm around her body and kissed the side of her head in remorse. Once again, Kate grew jealous of their bond—although pleased to see them reunited."How did you get out?" Hurley asked."Charlie. Charlie found us a way out," Jack answered, smiling at the blonde with gratitude."Dude, you rock!" Hurley exclaimed, lifting him into a bear hug. Everyone laughed and commended Charlie for his bravery. If you didn't know their circumstances, one might assume they were a happy family, and that feeling filled all of them with optimism.✦Jack relaxed next to the fire with Maddie curled up in his arms, and the child blinked lazily as sleep worked to overcome her. She'd been through a lot lately, but he was proud of her for getting through her intense anxiety in his absence."I'm sorry, Monkey. I'm sure I frightened you, huh?" Jack whispered to her sweetly, and Maddie nodded. "Daddy isn't going anywhere, baby. If you're every scared for me again, just remember, I'm doing everything I can to get back to you." Maddie snuggled into his chest, feeling safe in his grasp with a warm blanket surrounding her. Soon enough, sleep took the girl, and Jack kissed her forehead gently."She looks like you," Kate said as she neared, placing a makeshift sling around his neck."You think so, huh?" Jack chuckled, appreciating the effort she went through to help him. The woman sat down beside him, blushing like a giddy high school girl. "She does," she replied, reaching forward to rub the child's leg."Nah. She looks more like her mother." Kate frowned, suddenly recalling her conversation with Sawyer while guilt awakened in her stomach."Where is her mother?" she asked with some hesitation, and Jack gave her a bemused glance, surprised she'd yet to hear anything on the topic."She died about four months ago," Jack answered, growing familiar with those words. Kate slightly gawked as the realization hit her."I'm so sorry, Jack.""It's oka—""No, it's not okay," Kate interrupted. "I've been flirting with you this entire time, and I never once thought to ask if you were still involved with Maddie's mother. Shows how shallow I am.""You're not shallow, Kate. It's not like I rejected your advances." Both of them fell silent as they realized they'd admitted their true feelings to each other on accident."I really want Maddie to like me, but she seems determined not to," Kate said. Jack laughed, causing the woman to furrowed her brow."She's like that with any woman that shows interest in me. It's as if she has a list of expectations for them to meet, but none of them ever do because, when it comes down to it, they're not her mother." Jack explained with a sympathetic smile."She must have been a really special person," Kate stated. "Is that who Maddie got her fiery spirit from?""Yes, she definitely gets that from her mother," he answered while laughing. "She's just trying to protect…" The man paused as he almost uttered the same phrase he'd said to Maddie earlier. He sighed, now noticing the hypocrisy in his reasoning. Maddie wanted to protect him from Kate like he tried to protect her from Sawyer."What is it?" Jack peered at her like a deer in the headlights."Nothing. I just...realized something about Sawyer and Maddie," he responded. Kate dropped her shoulders in disappointment, knowing she needed to come clean."Jack…I have a confession to make." Jack tilted his head with interest. "Sawyer didn't steal from Claire. I put the vitamins in his stash.""What?" Jack reacted with mild shock. "I don't understand. Why—""Because you were right," she expressed with sincere regret for her actions. "I'm jealous of what she and Sawyer have, and I thought if you kept them apart, I'd have a better shot, but…it was stupid."The man exhaled before shaking his head and smirking. "It's okay, Kate. Sawyer's been doing a lot of stuff to piss me off; this would have happened sooner or later. I don't want Maddie near him because I don't trust him." Despite his attempt to take the blame off her, she still felt responsible. She nodded her head before standing up to leave, peering into his hazel eyes. "I'm going to head back to the beach, but I'm glad you're okay," she expressed, and he smiled in return, watching as she faded into the distance. Although Maddie didn't like Kate, he felt a strange attachment to her, but for the time being, he needed to maintain distance. For Maddie's sake.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The following day, Sayid came to the caves with a rather large gash on the back of his head. Dull moments didn't exist on the island; someone always seemed to get themselves into trouble. Jack poured some peroxide on a cloth and dab at the bloody cut, listening to Sayid as he explained what took place."Once I saw all the flares go off, I activated the transceiver, and then… darkness." Sayid flinched as the peroxide burned his wound. "Whoever hit me came from behind.""They destroyed the equipment?""Yes," Sayid replied, glancing back at him.Jack breathed out with exasperation, unable to fathom why someone attempted to ruin their chances of getting home. It made little sense, and civil war amongst themselves was the last thing they needed.A small hand tugged on Jack's shirt, and he shifted to see Maddie raising a book to him. He grinned, running his fingers through her silky hair with an apologetic expression."Hey, Monkey, let me finish talking to Sayid first, alright?" The girl began to pout, shaking her head and pressing the book closer to him. She didn't want to wait anymore as someone always cut ahead of her. "Madison, don't make me repeat myself." Her shoulders dropped, confidence shattered as she started to sulk away. "Hey." Jack reached out and pulled her back, gripping her upper arms while leaning their foreheads together. "I promise." Those words didn't mean as much as they use too, but she nodded and hoped he'd follow through this time. A strong dose of guilt burned through Jack's gut, watching her curl up into a ball near their belongings.He turned to address Sayid again. "Listen, we're going to figure this out. But don't do—""I will do what I need to do to find the man responsible." Sayid's demeanor displayed conviction; a man prepared to do anything for the truth."You seem to have someone in mind.""I have a few ideas.""And by a few you mean Sawyer," Jack said, shaking his head in disapproval of the quick assumption."He is the only one on this island with a strong case against him." The two of them stood, and the air thickened with both of their dominance. They were both leaders, but with entirely different views on maintaining authority. To Sayid, Sawyer proved as nothing more than a renegade amongst the pack. Jack, however, found the blonde useful in the long run. He didn't fully trust him and would still keep him away from Maddie, but if a threat ever occurred, he believed Sawyer would help protect the group."I don't know, Sayid," Jack said with tremendous doubt. "Guys a wild card, but he wouldn't screw our chances of getting home. Besides, he was setting off his flare when you got attacked.""Well, perhaps he got someone else to set it off for him. I thought you'd be the first to agree with me on this." Sayid said, unable to comprehend Jack's logic. "How do you know his motives aren't to sabotage us all?"The brunette sighed and peered at his little girl. Although Jack didn't understand it, he wanted to believe Sawyer cared about Maddie and would never hurt her; sabotaging their likelihoods of rescue fell into that category."I just know," Jack said, and Sayid's expression remained impassive as if he held no opinion on the matter."You can't see this objectively, Jack. It's far too personal." The soldier stepped closer to him. "Because it would devastate Maddie if she found out Sawyer's not who she thinks he is." Jack rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the rocky terrain. "Just because you hope it's not him doesn't mean it isn't." The words settled into Jack's brain, getting tangled with his positive thoughts, yet it didn't change his mind."And just because you want it to be him doesn't mean it is," Jack expressed with an unshaken resolution before marching over to Maddie. It'd be a lie to say Sayid didn't intimidate him—but only to an extent. Sayid may be a trained soldier, but he was a father, which provided him with a whole other level of vitality. As Jack neared Maddie, he grabbed the book lying on the ground and observed its title. Stuart Little. He chuckled, finding the story quite suitable for Maddie. She often felt small and powerless like Stuart, but it never stopped her from trying to stand tall. The man sat next to her, his back resting against the cave wall as he waited for a response, but she kept her back to him—afraid of falling for another broken promise."Okay, Monkey, I'm here now." Maddie gazed up and wavered, hesitant to engage, but another smile from him made it hard to resist. She grinned and hurried to sit on his lap, Jack chuckling at her eagerness. "Alright, let's see here." He held her close and began to read. "When Mrs. Frederick C. Little's second son arrived, everybody noticed that he was not much bigger than a mouse...""We need some help over here!" Shannon yelled as she entered the caves with Boone leaning on her—beaten and bloody. Sayid helped him over to the medical supplies, making the man sit and rest."Jack," Sayid called, beckoning the doctor over. More than anything, Jack wanted to ignore them, but to what end? His list of responsibilities never seemed to conclude. Maddie grabbed his arm, looking at him with pleading eyes, and it killed him inside. Back home, being a doctor had always been time-consuming, but it was even more so on the island."I have to help them, sweetie." He removed the small child from his lap and kneeled before her, seeing the hurt in her expression. "I'm sorry, baby. We'll read a little later, okay?" Maddie didn't respond, wouldn't even look at him, and it broke his heart. He kissed her cheek, leaving her alone. A hollow sensation hit Maddie's chest as she watched him go, and she wanted to cry and scream, anything to get his attention. But the girl remained silent, hugging her knees to her chest as subtle tears erupted from her eyes."What happened?" Jack asked, examining Boone's injuries as he strived to catch his breath."Sawyer."Jack tended to Boone, and the man explained how Shannon had struggled with asthma since her youth. Her current medication had run out, but Boone was convinced that Sawyer had discovered his luggage and taken the four refills packed inside."Her breathing got really rough today, man," Boone said, fear entangled in his words. "If she has another attack, it's not gonna be good." The doctor frowned, overwhelmed by all the conflict. He defended Sawyer, and once again, he found himself regretting it."We'll figure this out, okay?" Jack presented an uneasy smile, hoping to reassure him. He glimpsed over to check on Maddie, and panic hit him when he didn't see her. "Maddie," he called as he began to search, assuming she'd run off to play. "Madison!""Jack," Claire said, approaching the man with a large duffle bag draped over her shoulder."Claire, what are you doing here?""Charlie finally convinced me to move from the beach." She playfully rolled her eyes like the choice was beyond her control. "Really? How did he manage that?" Jack chuckled."Well, it involved a not so real jar of peanut butter." A broad grin formed on the woman's lips. "Anyway, were you calling for Maddie?""Yeah, she was here a few minutes ago, but I can't imagine she'd have gone too far.""I just saw her headed to the beach with Hurley.""What!" Jack's voice came undone as he advanced towards the woman."I passed them about twenty minutes ago. I thought you would have known.""Son of a bitch," Jack whispered under his breath. "I uh… thanks, Claire! I'll talk to you later!" he exclaimed, racing past her in the direction of the beach.✦Once Hurley and Maddie reached the beach, the girl immediately ran off to look for Sawyer. Her father might not have time to spare for her, but she knew Sawyer wouldn't turn her away. Her anger and hurt only grew the more she thought about Jack—yet again—turning her down. Maddie hated being mad at him, and she wanted to obey his rules. However, she also desired his attention, and following those rules seemed to get her the exact opposite of what she wanted. The girl walked the shore and held her book close to her chest, admiring the scenery when a man with dark hair approached. He kneeled down, grinning wildly, and it gave Maddie an uneasy feeling."Hello, Maddie," he said with calm enthusiasm. Maddie smiled politely, uncertain of how to respond. "My name's Ethan." He extended his hand out, causing her to pull her book tighter to her chest. She didn't like it when she couldn't read people, and for the moment, staying neutral seemed best. The man chuckled at her shy demeanor, shaking his head with an amused smile. "You've grown so much since I last saw you."Maddie's heart plummeted. She'd never met him before, or did she just not remember? A million thoughts scrambled in her mind, and she felt at a disadvantage."Oh, you wouldn't remember me." He chuckled as he glimpsed at the pure, innocent befuddlement in the child's eyes. "You were just a baby when I first saw you." Instead of clearing up her confusion, the answer to one question only produced a plethora of new ones. "Your dad is right. You look so much like your mother." Ethan beamed with pride as if knowing her from birth was a tremendous honor. "I'm sorry about what happened to her. I want you to know, she did something very important by bringing you into the world."Although he expressed admiration, Maddie didn't trust him. Some people used words so cleverly, reeling people in before using them to achieve their hidden plans. She'd seen it happen before; it almost tore her family apart. Ethan chuckled again—aware of the child's mute phase. "Where you running off to?" he questioned, trying to calm the girl's suspicion.She contemplated her next move carefully, wondering if he might use the requested information against her. Maddie pointed towards Sawyer's tent in the distance, intently observing his expression. Aside from herself, most people feared Sawyer and avoided him if possible. She didn't understand what they were so afraid of."Ahh." He peered towards the tent and grinned. "Off to visit Sawyer, huh?" His relaxed manner crossed Maddie as a red flag; he didn't seem intimidated at all by Sawyer. "Well, I'll let you be on your way then." He stood up and slightly tousled her hair before heading off. As Maddie watched him walk further away, she wondered if her father might recognize him. All the same, she'd do her best to steer clear of the strange man.✦A puff of smoke emitted from Sawyer's cigarette as he examined an old wrinkled paper. A letter he'd read over a thousand times, reminding him how he got here. However, an entirely different matter plagued his mind as he tried to stay focused on reading. Haylee Shephard; he'd heard that name before. For the last hour, he'd wondered why the woman's name sounded so familiar, but to no avail.As he continued to mull over the subject, he saw Maddie from the corner of his eye, racing towards him. The blonde smiled and tossed the cigarette into the sand, his life becoming a little brighter at the sight of her. She climbed into his lap and coiled her arms around his neck."Hey, Shorty. Whatcha doin' out here all by yourself? Your daddy around?" The girl sat in his lap before shaking her head, stomach twisting in knots when reminded of her abandonment. "Baby Girl, I don't want you gettin' in trouble 'cause of me." Maddie ignored his comment, pushing her book at him with a face that made his heart melt. "What? You want me to read to you?" He laughed while taking the book, examining its cover. "Why not ask your dad?"He'd never seen such an unhappy expression on her before—which said a lot, considering what he'd seen her go through. Maddie sighed, gazing at her hands as they nervously fidgeted with one another. Sawyer didn't need words to figure out what happened. He'd watched how things worked with Jack; the man didn't always correctly prioritize. The blonde smirked and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "What, you tryin' to make him jealous?"Maddie didn't respond, yet there was some truth in his statement—not that she would ever admit such a thing. She rested against his chest, starting to think he too might abandon her. Sawyer half-smiled, leaning his cheek on her head while weighing his options. The child clearly felt neglected and lonely. He didn't want to reject her, but Jack had made things pretty transparent. Then again, when did he ever listen to Jack?"Alright," he said with a drawn-out breath, and the girl lit up. "But only one chapter! Then you gotta go back to the caves, capiche?" Maddie nodded and settled herself in his arms as he opened the book.About ten minutes later, they'd progressed halfway into the first chapter, both of them enjoying each other's company. Sawyer felt his time with her gave him purpose. It made his life about more than just money and sex—and he never imagined himself caring about anything that didn't involve at least one of the two. Maddie was the exception to every rule in his book. The man loved hearing her giggle and seeing her reaction to each surprising part in the story. She valued and appreciated his time, which was more than he ever got from anyone else."Madison Rae Shepard!"Maddie nearly jumped out of her skin, her eyes widening at the sound of her father's voice. She and Sawyer peered outside the tent, seeing Jack standing in the distance, expecting his child to come to him."Uh-oh, looks like Papa Bear found us," Sawyer announced as he marked their page and closed the book.The child slightly leaned into Sawyer's body, attempting to hide from her father. Her plan to challenge the man's authority now seemed like a really stupid idea. Jack remained still, looking more ferocious every second she didn't go to him, but the thought of approaching him terrified her. She'd rarely seen this side of him, and when she had, it was usually aimed at her grandfather. Plus, her mother had always been there to calm and reason with him. How Maddie wished she could be there now.The girl glanced up to see Sawyer's encouraging smile, grabbing her book before she slowly sauntered to her doom. As she neared Jack, his shadow loomed over her, making her feel extra small. She gazed up and innocently smiled, hoping her cute expression might break his rough exterior… it didn't. His appearance only grew harder, and her posture shrank in shame. Jack kneeled down and firmly grabbed both her arms, his stare alone making her want to cry."I want you to sit right there." He pointed to the sand beside them. "Until I tell you otherwise. Do you understand me?" Maddie broke eye contact, nervously peering at the ground with a small nod. "Good. Sit down." She did as told and watched him stomp over to Sawyer."Take it easy on her, Doc. She just wanted a little attention," Sawyer said as he shifted in his seat."Are you seriously lecturing me on parenting my child?" Sawyer chuckled at his swift aggression, feeling the tension build between them. He knew agreeing to Maddie's reading request wouldn't gain him any points with Jack. But these days, winning the man's approval proved damn near impossible, and he didn't regret the time spent with Maddie."She came down here 'cause you spend more time focusin' on everyone else than you do her." Jack scoffed, aware of the truth lingering in his criticism, but at the moment, his rage refused to acknowledge such facts."When the hell did you become Mary fucking Poppins? You have no idea what it takes to care for another human being, let alone a child!" The blonde rolled his eyes and smirked. Jack wasn't wrong; he knew next to nothing when it came to childcare. However, putting Maddie below everyone else didn't exactly scream Dad of the year either. "Where is it?" Jack exclaimed, beginning to scour Sawyer's things. "Where is it!""Where's what!" Sawyer asked in annoyance."The girl's asthma medicine. Shannon, her inhalers.""Oh... that," Sawyer answered with little enthusiasm, having forgotten his run-in with Boone earlier that morning."You attacked a kid for trying to help his sick sister.""No, I whooped a thief 'cause he was going through my stuff.""Yours? What makes it yours?" In all his life, Jack never experienced such animosity towards one person—not even with his father. "You think you can just take something out of a suitcase, and that makes it yours!""Look! I don't know what kind of commie share-fest you're running over in cave town. But down here possession's nine-tenths, and a man's got a right to protect his property.""Get up," Jack said with a simple nod."Why? You wanna see who's taller?""Get up!""You sure you wanna make this your problem, Doc?" Sawyer asked, displaying his confidence with ease."Oh yeah, I'm sure." The blonde smirked at his opponent's dark optimism, getting up to step towards him."Hell of a show, Doc, but we both know, you ain't gonna do a damn thing with Maddie over there watchin' us."The brunette breathed in sharply, peering at his daughter, her eyes fixed on them and filled with concern. It killed him to admit it, but Sawyer was right. Doing something so aggressive in front of Maddie would be irresponsible. Nevertheless, his words could still convey the same message. Jack inched closer, heat emitting from his body as he spoke in an influential voice. "If I see you with her again…" He gradually shook his head, leaving the threat open-ended for Sawyer to fill-in-the-blank himself. For a few seconds, their intense staring contest persisted until the brunette finally took his leave. "Let's go," Jack ordered as he pasted Maddie, and—sensing his impatience—she immediately obeyed.✦The two traveled fast as they headed back to the caves, Maddie struggling to keep up with her father's pace. He'd never been so angry with her before; she hated the way it felt. Doubts crept into her mind, feeling like a burden to him and nothing more. Jack halted, waiting for his child to catch up, and he sensed a deep confliction in his chest. He was furious with her for disobeying him, yet he wondered if his rage came more from seeing her so happy with Sawyer, as if he were so easily replaceable."Sit down," he said, gesturing to a small log.The girl once again did as told, gripping her book tight as butterflies swirled in her stomach from anticipation. The time for her lecture had come, and her anxiety grew overwhelmingly robust. She perched herself on the rough mossy log and watched the man closely, hands on his hips as he paced back and forth in front of her. Jack didn't have a clue what to do or say. Haylee ordinarily did the disciplining. She was always so much better at it, able to find the right balance between harsh and soft. Whereas Jack often leaned too much on one or the other."What am I supposed to do, Maddie? Hmm?" he asked in a stern tone. "You ran off without my permission, and went to Sawyer, who I told you not to go around anymore!"Maddie stared at the ground as she shrunk into herself. She was ashamed but also hurt by the whole situation. Was it such a bad thing to want to be with him? To have the attention he promised her for longer than two seconds? None of it seemed fair. She understood the others needed him, and she didn't mind sharing, but she needed him too."Look at me, Madison!" Tears formed in the girl's eyes as she met his gaze—his body and expression ripe with anger. "What do you think your mother would do? Huh? You think she'd be okay with this kind of behavior?"She didn't even need to consider the answer, slowly shaking her head in humiliation. Her mother had many rules, all of which were easy to understand and follow. But one rule she enforced more than any other: Always listen to and obey Daddy."Do you like Sawyer better now?" Maddie's lips parted as tears slipped down her cheeks, shocked he'd even suggest such a thing. "Maybe you should go stay with him from now on! Is that what you want?"Maddie wildly shook her head as if pleading to stay with him. Wetness consumed her face, blurring her vision, and she wondered if he wanted to get rid of her. If he didn't love her anymore. The child took a long and painful breath as she quietly whimpered, and Jack's temper began to settle at the sight of her trembling form. Why did he say that? He sounded like his father. The last thing Jack wanted was for his relationship with Maddie to end up the same as theirs; he didn't want her to fear him. The brunette ran his palm over his face before releasing a small sigh."Come here," he said, kneeling down with open arms. Maddie immediately ran to him, holding him tight, her sobs muffled by his shirt. "I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have said that… I didn't mean it." He listened as the child struggled to catch her breath and gently squeezed her fragile body. How many times had she cried lately because of him? It was adding up.✦Grains of sand flew about as Sawyer brought down an ax on some length of wood, attempting to chop it into smaller pieces. Thoughts of Maddie and Jack ran through his mind, but Maddie most of all. He just didn't understand what she saw in him, and perhaps her father's goal to keep her away was for the best; he wasn't a good man.On top of that, the name Haylee Shephard continued bouncing around his brain, desperate to connect its self with a memory. Yet no matter what angle he observed it from, the answer remained shrouded in fog."What do you want?"The blonde turned to find Kate standing behind him, and his expression transformed into a playful confusion."Excuse me?""What do you want for the medication?" A small smile crossed his lips as he continued to hack at the wood."Jack really sent you, of all people, to get what he wants?""Jack didn't send me." The woman crossed her arms, shaking her head with disapproval. "Why are you picking a fight with him, anyway? That's not gonna help him trust you again." Sawyer shifted, giving her a deadly stare."You mean, trust me again after what you did?" The woman shuffled in place, appearing tense as his eyes locked on her."Does it really matter why? He barely trusted you before." The wood on the ground split in half, and Sawyer chuckled at her superficial qualities. "Look, Sawyer, I get—""You think you understand me?" It was exactly what Kate believed, assuming she perceived him better than anyone on the island."Yeah, I do. Because you're like—""Shut up!" Sawyer spat while throwing his ax on the ground, stomping in her direction. "I ain't nothin' like you, Kate!" he protested, watching her step back in alarm. "See, I actually give a shit about Maddie! I ain't tryin' to force myself on her, and usin' others along the way. Anythin' to get what you want, right?""I told Jack about what I did, Sawyer. So him not trusting you isn't because of me!""That's 'cause Jack is as clueless as you are!" Kate's eyes disengaged into the distance, a twinge in her stomach as their conversation grew more awkward. It gave Sawyer a taste of satisfaction, smirking at the woman's discomfort. "Every one of you wants to label me as the bad guy, so I'm just playin' the part." He'd finally reached his breaking point, and being a nice guy never got him anywhere anyway. "So I ain't givin' nothin' to nobody! Over my dead body!"✦The doctor madly rummaged through all the medication, hoping to unearth a remedy to help Shannon. While he hunted, Boone pleaded for his sister to work with him and breathe, her condition becoming more dangerous every minute she remained without her inhalers.Maddie sat on the rough terrain and studied her mother's artwork, attempting to escape the moment. Once again, she found herself only understanding half of the situation—which did nothing to ease her mind—and her father's erratic behavior only increased her concern.A few moments later, everyone's attention turned to Sawyer, who entered the caves with a backpack and empty water bottle. The blonde strolled over to the small oasis and stooped down to refill the plastic container in hand, discrimination tracking his every movement. However, he'd gotten used to being hated and was unbothered by their judgment."Give me the inhalers." Sawyer heard, glancing up to meet Jack's dark gaze. "Now."Maddie noticed her father tense up as he addressed the man below, and her distress increased to an unbearable amount. Logic had abandoned Jack's mind, replaced by an emotional bitterness that sought to quench its thirst for violence."Hell, I was wonderin' when you were gonna stop askin' nice." Sawyer chuckled, raising his bottle to drink. But before the plastic even touched his mouth, Jack swiftly punched him, and water splashed everywhere as the blonde hit the ground. Jack clutched at his hurt shoulder and grunted, though the blow he'd cast upon Sawyer made the mild discomfort worth it.Everyone around them gawked while moving a safe distance away from the scene. Maddie, however, only inched closer with wide eyes full of fear. Everything inside her screamed to take action, but what could she do? Did she dare challenge her father for Sawyer's sake? She had never seen him so out of control before, and it wasn't like him to hurt someone.Sawyer shook off the throbbing prick in his jaw, his enjoyment expanding as Jack moved in like a lion ready to pounce on its prey."It's 'bout time, Cowboy. Been tellin' you from day one we're in the wild." He wiped the blood from his mouth, getting up to face his rival. "Didn't think you had it in ya." Another painful blow across Sawyer's cheek forced him back on his hands and knees. It knocked his self-esteem down a peg or two, but he didn't fight back. Any kind of emotional reaction would mean he cared, and he didn't care. Instead, he lingered on his knees and snickered, blood dripping down his busted lip as he blankly scrutinized Jack for his efforts. "Is that all you got?"The brunette clenched his jaw at the sight of Sawyer's cocky attitude. It drove him mad with anger, and he rushed forward, ready to beat the man bloody when Maddie suddenly sprang in front of Sawyer. Whispers and gasps echoed among the caverns, but no one was more awestruck than Sawyer and Jack."Maddie, move," Jack expressed in a soft, firm tone.The child's appearance hardened in response to his command, and she took a step backward to better shield the blonde, mutely telling her father no. Even if she paid for it later, she refused to let him hurt Sawyer again. Jack pursed his lips, feeling his emotions boil over before gradually simmering down. He glanced around at the many fearful eyes on him, and a sense of shame clenched his gut.Once Maddie saw the man she recognized return, she walked over to take his hand, gaining his attention. Her eyes were warm and compassionate, reminding him of his true self. Jack exhaled from his nose, clutching her palm in response, and the child began tenderly tugging him away from Sawyer. He glanced harshly at his adversary, swaying his head with distaste before following his daughter elsewhere.The blonde kept his sights on them as they moved on, remaining on his knees as the others went back to their own business. The entire situation went over his head like an unsolvable equation. A subtle smile hinted on the corner of his mouth, and a warmth consumed his spirit. Maddie defied the one person she idled and loved most just to protect him, and no words could explain what it meant to him.✦For over an hour, Maddie discreetly studied her father, the man frantic as ever while he continued to dread on matters he couldn't control. He paused for a moment and slightly shook his newly bruised knuckles. When their sights collided, Maddie immediately glanced away, and Jack grinned, stooping down to run his fingers within her hair."I bet you're pretty confused, huh?" The girl nodded and sat up a little straighter. "Well…" Jack hesitated, reevaluating the thoughts in his mind. "Shannon is really sick, Maddie. She needs her medication to get better, but…" He gazed into the child's glistening eyes, so keen to obtain more information. "Sawyer has her medicine, sweetie, and he won't give it to us."Pure confusion hit the girl's expression as her brain tried to comprehend his words. Clearly, it was all just a misunderstanding as Sawyer would never do such a thing without good reason. Maddie shook her head, discarding her father's explanation."It's hard to understand, Monkey, but Sawyer isn't exactly the person you think he is."Maddie furrowed her brow and shook her head once more. She recognized the part of Sawyer no one else did; the pieces no one even bothered to try and understand. At times, the man was distant and off-putting, but it was all an act to keep people away. How did no one else see what was clear as day to her? Jack smiled at the child's undying persistence to defend Sawyer. He loved how loyal she was to the people she cared about, but he worried such loyalty might one day get her hurt."Help! She's not breathing!" Boone exclaimed, seizing the doctor's awareness. Jack hurried over to Shannon, the woman gasping desperately for oxygen."Shannon, listen to me. Look at me!" He touched her cheek and drew her focus to him. "You need to listen now. This isn't just your asthma; it's anxiety.""No," Shannon protested."Yes, it's in your head. You know your medicine has run out, and you're panicking." Maddie strolled over to hold Claire's hand, observing her father in action along with the others. "But we can fight this together, okay?" Shannon reaped another agonizing breath and nodded. "Good. Now, breathe in through—""She needs her inhaler—""Boone!" Jack impatiently scolded, not wanting Boone's negative feedback to discourage his sister. He stared at Shannon again, reverting to his soft and supportive character. "Breathe in through the nose slowly." The woman continued to breathe with her mouth, terrified of losing the only oxygen she had. "You can do this, Shannon." After a few seconds of delaying, she took in a deep breath and closed her mouth, forcing herself to breathe from her nose. Jack watched her body's natural instincts kick in and beamed at the progress. "You got your breath. Your colors coming back. See, I knew you could do this. You feel it?""Yeah," Shannon said in a low voice, her anxiety beginning to dissipate alongside her asthma."Okay, again. In through the nose." She repeated the method, releasing slow and steady breaths. "Alright, just keep doing that. That's perfect." Jack clutched Boone's shoulder, and they migrated a few feet away. "Keep her relaxed. Do not let her panic.""Okay." Boone nodded with ambition.Jack regarded the ticking clock on the woman's life, and he didn't have a choice anymore—not even for Maddie's sake. He had to force Sawyer into submission, possibly even cross a line to break him. He advanced over to Maddie, crouching down to her level."Maddie, I want you to stay with Claire." The girl immediately shook her head and moved in to plead with him. She had a good idea of what he planned on doing, and if she didn't protect Sawyer, no one would. "Madison, you're going to stay right here! Do you understand me?" Maddie dropped her shoulders, already sensing his victory in their argument, and it made her feel powerless. She nodded, peering at the earth in anguish. "Good girl." The man kissed her forehead and stood up to grip Claire's shoulder. "You good?""Yeah, we'll be fine." Jack presented his gratitude with a smile before dashing off to achieve his task. The child watched him vanish into the distance, feeling like she might shatter at any given moment.✦As Jack traveled to the beach, the image of Shannon wheezing for air haunted him. The group chose him to lead, which made him responsible for their safety, even if from one of their own. "Jack," Sayid exclaimed as he caught up with the doctor's brisk speed. "What will happen if she doesn't get her medicine?" Jack glimpsed at him with dread before shaking his head, suggesting the answer was far from anything good. "Then we have to make Sawyer give it to us.""Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.""No, not you." Sayid took hold of the man's shoulder, deterring him from going any further. "Me." The brunette eyed him with immense uncertainty. "I served five years in the Republican Guard.""I thought you were a communications officer?""Part of my training entailed getting the enemy to communicate." The soldier slightly smirked, trusting he'd understand his meaning—torture. Jack stared away into the vibrant jungle, the concept alone making him uncomfortable. "Just give me ten minutes with him. He'll give us the medicine."Jack remained silent as he considered the request. Torturing Sawyer for information was insane—not to mention wrong on so many levels—and it didn't sit well with him. He didn't torment people; he helped them. But what alternative did they have? Shannon's life was on the line. He nodded in approval, his stomach twisting in knots at the thought of giving in to something so unjust."Yes."✦A light breeze swept across Sawyer's face as he slept on his cozy airline seat. It was a peaceful atmosphere with nothing to worry him. He gently opened his eyes, and Sayid's face came into view, the man hovering over him like a starving vulture. "Good morning."Sawyer looked perplexed, given no time to react before the Iraqi hit him over the head with a metal pipe, knocking him out clean. Things only escalated from there as Jack and Sayid dragged him towards the jungle, Kate strolling past them in alarm."What are you doing?" she asked—although she didn't need the answer. "Jack!""This was Sawyer's choice! Not mine," Jack said as they proceeded towards the jungle."If you do this..." The warning did little to appease them—both far too prideful to abandon their reckless plan. Kate possessed no fondness for Sawyer, but he didn't deserve this. Perhaps she pitied him, or maybe just guilty for worsening his social standing in the group. Either way, the two had something terrible planned for him, and she couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible.✦A splash of lukewarm water hit Sawyer's face, leading him back to consciousness. He shook his head like a drenched dog, his lengthy hair dispersing drops of water in every direction. As his vision came into focus, he glanced ahead at his kidnappers. Sayid was no surprise, but Jack was another story. The blonde's knees sank into the dirt, his weight causing his legs to go numb. He wiggled his hands against the bit of twine that held him securely to a tree, rope burn taking its effect on the man's wrists."Well, ain't you the brave one, jumpin' a guy while he's nappin'," Sawyer said, peering at Sayid with malice. Although utterly defenseless, his cocky attitude didn't falter. Sayid threw the empty bottle on the ground, stepping aside as Jack inched forward. "Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now, ain't I?""Sawyer," Jack said kindly, kneeling before him. "We gave you the chance to do the right thing. Now all I want is the asthma medicine. Just tell me where the inhalers are…" He grimaced and swayed his head, still uncomfortable with their method of choice. "And we'll stop.""Stop what, Chico?" Jack glanced at Sayid, watching him sharpen some sticks of bamboo, and it didn't take long for Sawyer to put two and two together. However, a part of him continued to view it all as a cunning bluff."It doesn't have to be this way," Jack said with pity, hoping for him to cooperate and settle this entire mess. Yet all he received was the prejudice in Sawyer's eyes."Yeah, it does." The brunette idled as if a few seconds of thought, might change Sawyer's mind. When it didn't, he arose and delivered a nod of approval to Sayid, drifting aside as the soldier began his work.Immoral sickness pinched at Jack's stomach, and he suddenly grew nauseous, placing his palms upon his knees as he leaned over. He listened to Sayid describe how he planned to torture Sawyer, and a small voice in his mind cried for him to stop this insanity. Expressing to himself that Sawyer's compliance would only be won through compassion, not brutality. But he quickly shook the ridiculous notion from his mind, as submission lived in Sawyer about as much as it did in himself. The Iraqi stepped behind his victim, stooping down to insert the bamboo beneath his fingernail, experimenting with the man's resolve. Sawyer chuckled and keenly squirmed in discomfort, spitting crude remarks towards his torturer. It erased any mercy left in Sayid as he jammed the shoot deeper underneath the nail, gradually bending it back. Sawyer howled as the pressure and pain surfaced and began shifting his weight to escape. The cries resounded amongst the trees, rattling Jack's soul to its very core. He paced back and forth, running his palm over his hair until he couldn't take it anymore."Sayid," Jack said, but the soldier continued—savoring the blonde's distress. "Sayid!"Sawyer's agony finally ceased as Sayid pulled away, and the blonde breathed hard and heavy, his body trembling in terror—though, he refrained from showing his captor's such weakness. Sayid awaited Jack's command, but the doctor presented no other orders. He didn't have a Plan B; he just wanted the disturbing screams to end."No… don't stop now." The blonde snickered. "I think my sinuses are clearin'.""What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack said, advancing towards him with revulsion. The blonde's breathing abruptly hitched as Sayid yanked at his hair, pushing a knife across his cheek."Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue." The soldier applied a small amount of pressure on the blade, watching it edge closer to its target."Okay!" Sawyer screeched. The remarks were no longer a bluff; he now believed every threat that departed Sayid's lips. Although he struggled to imagine Jack letting things go too far, the man didn't exactly have his partner on a tight leash either. "Okay...""Where is it?" Sayid aggressively demanded."I don't have 'em," Sawyer said, glancing at Jack with terror hidden in his eyes—a silent plea for help."What?" Jack said with sheer confusion."Your lying!" Sayid pulled on his hair harder, sticking the razor-sharp edge on him again."I ain't lying!""Sayid, stop!" Jack said, forcing him away and crouching in front of the blonde. "Okay, Sawyer, I'll bite. But if you don't have them, why pretend you did?" It was a reasonable question, but one Sawyer wouldn't answer. They'd already marked him as the bad guy, and nothing he did would change that."I don't have 'em," he repeated. Jack sighed before glimpsing at Sayid, who seemed entirely void of any sympathy. He gestured his head towards the jungle, and the two marched out of sight.The blonde trembled uncontrollably as if a fever was ravishing his body. A sense of loneliness conquered his essence, and tears began to swell in his eyes. He quickly drew away from the sensation, forcing his emotions down where no one could find them—including himself. He didn't expect this as an outcome of his deceit. He just wanted to scare people from getting close. Because as much as he hated being the bad guy, he also hated being a good one. Who could say why? Maybe he deemed himself unworthy of happiness after everything he'd done in his pitiful life.Sawyer truly envied Jack... Jack and his damn hero complex. He'd never met someone so hung up on righteousness. A man who put every responsibility and fault on his shoulders, even when it didn't involve him. His kindness frustrated Sawyer to no end. He could poke and prod all he wanted, but deep down, he respected the man. It was no wonder Jack sired a child as pure as Maddie. She was just as honest, if not more so.Sawyer shut his eyes and leaned his head against the tree, picturing Maddie's sweet face, hearing her adorable giggles, remembering how she protected him from Jack. He exhaled hopelessly, letting his body give way to his gloom. How he yearned to see her one last time before the Ringling brothers inevitably disposed of his body. The blonde chuckled at his dramatic notions, opening his eyes, and as if by magic, there stood Maddie."Maddie…" Sawyer said in surprise, thinking the fear and torture had driven him insane. She studied the mess of a man in horror, running over to free him. "Maddie, no! You gotta leave right now!" She ignored his warning and untied his hands. He rubbed at his sore wrists, and Maddie immediately coiled around his neck, whimpering as she nuzzled into his shoulder, unable to bear the thought of losing someone else she loved. Sawyer closed his eyes, holding her tight as he sighed with relief. "Oh, Baby Girl." He pulled her back and stared into her watery green orbs. "You gotta get outta here, Shorty. Before they come back."Maddie shook her head wildly; she wasn't going anywhere. He needed someone to shield him from the group, and she was all he had. She needed to protect him, the same way she did for her father. Sawyer smiled, swaying his head at her fearless endeavors. He ran his bloody hand in her hair. "Come here," he said, pulling her back into his embrace, rocking from side to side. Persecute, beaten, tortured. It didn't phase him, not with Maddie in his arms.✦Sayid and Jack wandered a little ways off from their prisoner, the birds chirping among them in the humid air of the jungle. If not for the current circumstances, it would have been relaxing. Jack settled his hands on his sides while Sayid waited for him to speak."I think he's telling the truth, Sayid," Jack said out of breath."Please tell me you're joking.""What good would lying do him now?" Jack stated with a slight smile of irritation. "He has more to gain from handing over the medicine as opposed to pretending he doesn't have it.""Then why lie in the first place? That didn't do him any favors either," Sayid said, impassively lecturing him. "Why do you continue to defend him? I've met a hundred men like him before, and they're all the same." Jack scoffed, as if him caring about what happened to Sawyer was absurd. Though, in the back of his mind, he wondered if he really did care."I just want to make sure we're torturing the right person, Sayid." The brunette's stance became tense, warning the other man not to challenge him.It was hard to see any beneficial reason to defend Sawyer—that is, without coming off as naive—because as it appeared, the blonde looked like nothing more than a lowlife thief and liar. Did Maddie's love for Sawyer make Jack go easy on him? She didn't easily attach to people, especially now. And she rarely disobeyed him without good reason. It seemed Sayid was right; the situation had become far too personal for him."Can't you see? He's been lying from the beginning. He doesn't want us to get off this island. That's why he attacked me!" "Hold on a minute, man," Jack said as he tried to ease him, not wanting to execute any rash decisions."He destroyed the transceiver!" Sayid exclaimed, growing more irritable as he quickly turned to speed walk back to Sawyer."Sayid, you don't know that!" "Jack!" Kate exclaimed, panting as she emerged from the bushes."Kate, what are you doing here?""Maddie ran off from the caves again. I was tracking—""What!" Fear overcame him, unable to assimilate the information he'd just received. If Kate tracked Maddie out here, then she'd likely already found Sawyer, and a pissed off torturer was now heading in their direction. He rushed to catch up with Sayid, worried his baby might get caught in the two men's crossfire.He raced through the endless trees, his feet unable to move fast enough, and the path seemed to grow longer. Maddie screamed in the distance, and Jack ran in her direction until he finally broke through the foliage, finding the two men fighting amongst the dirt. He went to his child, seizing her as she moved forward to stop both men from fighting. Sayid managed to gain the upper hand and pinned the blonde, stabbing his upper arm. Sawyer cried out at the impact, the pain shooting throughout his whole body.Maddie tried to break from her father's grasp to get to Sawyer, but the man held tight, passing her to Kate. He rushed forward, forcing Sayid away to give him space. The knife held steady in the man's arm, beckoning Jack's aid. He yanked the blade out, and Sawyer growled as blood oozed from his limb."You hit an artery," Jack said, penetrating the man's wound as he strived to stop the bleeding. "Keep still damn it." Sawyer did his best to oblige, feeling him clamp down on the artery. "Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves; my leather backpack. Go!" Sayid eagerly sprang into action, regretting his violent behavior, and tears enlarged in Maddie's eyes as she watched Sawyer strain in discomfort. "Maddie, go back to the caves with Kate."Maddie protested and sought to free herself from the woman's grip."Madison! You listen to me right now! Go!" His voice implied his disappointment, and Maddie gawked at him in frustration. Kate began to lead her away, and after some hesitation, the girl unwillingly followed. In the meantime, Jack and Sawyer remained in place, awkwardly peering at one another."Let go," Sawyer whispered, his panting slow and broken. "I know you want to.""Shut up! And stop moving!" The doctor favored silence over Sawyer's attempt to guilt-trip him. But when did he ever get what he wanted?"You've been waiting for this, haven't you?" Sawyer said with spite. "Now you get to be the hero again. 'Cause that's what you do; fix everythin' up all nice." A part of Jack contemplated letting him die. Aside from Maddie, what difference did it really make to him? He huffed in annoyance, knowing it would never happen. It just wasn't in him—not even for someone like Sawyer."Real smart move, running at Sayid like that," Jack said mockingly. If Sawyer wanted to bite, then he'd bite back harder. "No, actually, it was really stupid.""I was protecting Maddie from that fuckin' psycho!""How?" Jack chuckled, adding insult to injury. "You really think Sayid would hurt her? Especially with me two feet behind him!" Rage swelled in Sawyer's chest, and he strained against Jack's hand, agony surging through his arm when the brunette didn't let go."Let go of me!""Hold still! You're making it worse!""I don't need your damn help!" Jack pursed his lips with resentment before straddling the man's stomach, roughly shoving his chest to the ground."Fucking hold still!" Jack exclaimed through gritted teeth. Their new position was a hundred times more awkward, and it showed on Sawyer's features. "You asked for this, Sawyer!" The blonde looked away from him, wishing for enough strength to force Jack from his chest, but all he could do was lay vulnerable and humiliated. Minutes went by like hours, although quietly to Jack's relief. Until Sawyer broke the stillness once more, ready to exert another jab at his nemesis."There's something you should know," he uttered, producing a deadly stare. "If the tables were turned... I'd watch you die." The message encased around Jack, strangling him with hurt. He pondered it for a moment, reflecting on its significance before a coy smirk surfaced on lips."No, you wouldn't."✦After patching Sawyer up, Jack headed back to the caves, his mind replaying the scenario over and over. At first, he was infuriated with Maddie for opposing him again. But then he pondered how he and Haylee might have handled the situation together, and a hard dose of reality hit him. Haylee would have been disappointed in Maddie and disciplined her accordingly, but she'd be enraged at him for dismissing Maddie as much as he had. Jack realized how little time he set aside for her, taking advantage of his daughter's patience, then punishing her for wanting his attention.That's not how he and Haylee agreed to raise Maddie, as both of them were raised by parents who smothered their feelings and opinions. They wanted Maddie to listen, but to also not fear being heard. Jack internally kicked himself for suppressing her voice. His baby's beautiful voice. He missed talking to her more than anything. She always used to ask him a million questions, so eager to learn. The child believed Jack knew the answer to everything. In her eyes, he was the smartest person in the world.The brunette entered the caves, greeted by Boone, who informed him of the mixture Sun devised to help Shannon. Eucalyptus. He shook his head and laughed at his own stupidity. How did he not think of that himself? He recalled Sawyer's comment about him still living back in civilization.Jack glimpsed over to see Maddie lying on the ground as Claire gently rubbed her back, and his heart descended in discouragement. What would he say to her? How could he make this right? Wandering closer, he caught Claire's attention, and the woman held her large belly as she stood up to go and greet him."Hey, how's she doing?" Jack asked with a glance of concern."She hasn't moved much since she got back." The man's shoulders slumped, afraid he'd broken his child's spirits. "Jack, I'm so sorry. I looked away for one minute and—""It's okay, Claire." He chuckled, knowing nothing would have stopped Maddie from leaving. "She's escaped me many times before too."Jack patted her shoulder before strolling towards his daughter. He tossed his backpack aside and reached down to grab under Maddie's arms, and she immediately flinched, coiling into a ball like a frightened turtle hiding in its shell. She didn't need another lecture, especially when she had no regrets. If given a choice, she'd do it all over again."It's okay, Monkey. You're not in trouble," he said, picking her up and finding a spot to rest, leaning against the cave's rocky walls. Maddie remained curled up in his lap, leaning against his chest as she waited for him to speak. "I patched up Sawyer, Sweetie. He's gonna be fine." A bit of relief hit the girl's chest, glad that despite everything her father still chose to patch Sawyer up. Jack released a long breath, gazing into her eyes. "Maddie, I'm sorry for not paying attention to you." He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and smirked. "I'm just so used to your mom always being around to help take care of you." Maddie gawked, taken aback by his confession, yet she provided an expression of sympathy. "She..." He lightly chuckled. "Your mom would probably be pretty unhappy with me if she was here, huh?" Maddie grinned and nodded at his playful statement, and Jack shifted to cradle her in his arms. "You'll never know how much I love you, baby." His appearance changed into one of solicitude. "You know how you get scared when I'm gone? How you worry I might get hurt?" Her eyes widened as she contemplated his question, trying to understand the intent behind it. "I feel the same way when you go missing. I'm terrified you might get hurt or worse. If anything ever happened to you..." Maddie hardly ever witnessed tears in her father's eyes. She never considered how worried he'd be when she ran off, and she felt terrible for it. The child rose to hug him apologetically, and Jack reciprocated the loving gesture. "I need you safe, baby. You're all I have." Maddie pulled back, and Jack placed his hand on her cheek. "I'll try to do better too." He reached over and grabbed her book, and the child beamed with enthusiasm. She perched in his lap again, and he opened the book to where Sawyer had marked it."Hey, Jack!" Charlie interrupted, jogging over to them. "Someone at the beach gashed their leg. Michael told me to come and get you." Jack stared speechlessly as Maddie instantly slouched and sighed in defeat."Okay, the peroxide and gauze are over there. Have them clean the wound and then wrap the area." Charlie nodded, grabbing what he needed before gazing back at him."Aren't you coming?" Maddie looked up at her father, silently asking the same question, and Jack beamed at her with affection, touching their noses together before peering back at Charlie."No, man, I'm busy. I'll go down there later.""Oh, right. No problem." The musician responded, leaving the two in peace. "Now," Jack said, opening the book again. "Where were we?" Maddie giggled, snuggling in as sparks of excitement hopped inside her belly, happy as one could ever hope to be.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The three-way mirror displayed Jack's reflection, the man adjusting his new suit jacket. It seemed laughable to search for a fancy new outfit for his wife's pending funeral. But Haylee insisted they spend a day on arrangements, including finding him a new suit. The whole idea was morbid to him. What difference did it make what he wore? That's the last thing he'd have on his mind. Even worse, it's a good day for her health-wise, and spending it in such a way felt wasteful. He sighed as anxiety rose in his chest, making him sick.
"Oh, Jack." Haylee entered the dressing room with a tie in her hands. "You look so handsome."
The woman stood in front of him and beamed, growing ever more attracted. She reached out to inspect the material, noticing her husband's unamused expression. He had been in a poor mood all day, and she couldn't help but chuckle at him.
"Come on now, Jack. You've given me the silent treatment all day. It's odd to do this now, but I want to plan everything ahead of time." Haylee presented him with a coy smirk. "We both know you're terrible at planning anything outside of work, and you'll be in so much pain." Her eyes became moist at the thought. "Trust me, okay? I'm doing you a favor. This way, when..." She paused, restricting the tremble in her voice. "When it happens, you won't have to worry about any of the arrangements."
A slight twitch from his lips is the only response she received, his eyes dodging to the floor in discomfort. She chuckled again at his stubborn nature. The man always was adamant, especially when mistaken, but Haylee somehow stayed one step ahead every time. And his constant exertion to outdo her logic made him even more irritable.
"Okay," she said, giving up on winning him over. "Well, I found you the best tie ever."
Haylee held up the tie. A silk gold fabric with extravagant multicolored circles. Jack raised his brow and wondered if she was trying to irritate him on purpose.
"What, they run out of black ties?" Jack asked in an annoyed and mocking tone.
"No!" Haylee answered while playfully gasping. "They did not run out of black ties, Smartass." The corner of Jack's mouth somewhat lifted. She almost broke his grumpy attitude, but alas, he resisted. He needed the sorrow, having no reason to smile. "This is the tie I want you to wear."
Once he realized she's serious, he scowled at the woman in annoyance.
"Haylee, I'm not wearing that to..." His lips pursed, not wishing to utter the word. "No! I'm not wearing that."
"Uh-huh," she said, wrapping the fabric around his neck and beginning to tie it. "I'm sure you won't."
"Why do you think I'll wear it? It's not like you'll be there to force me."
Haylee laughed and shook her head. The comment would have hurt anyone else, but not her. She knew how Jack was when upset, knew he didn't always think about what he said before he said it.
"Because I'm telling you to, that's why. Everyone knows I've got you whipped." The woman proceeded in her work yet sensed his ominous glare. She peered up and smiled, aware that she's teasing him too much. "Babe, I'm kidding. You will because it'll make me happy, and you're sentimental like that." Slipping the tie knot closed, she took a step back to admire the man's excessive good looks. "It's perfect." A broad grin formed on her lips, and she moved forward to straighten the material more. "It's gonna drive your mom nuts."
Jack's sour appearance finally broke at the strange comment, earning Haylee a chuckle.
"What?" he asked, almost choking on his laughter.
"You laugh now, but you wait and see. Your mother will nitpick over how unreserved it makes you seem."
"Haylee, that's ridiculous. I doubt she'll even notice."
"I love both your parents to pieces, Jack, but Margo's a traditionalist. That's why Christian could cheat on her so many times, and she remains by his side." Jack lifted his brow with a nod, finding the point valid. "So you attend the funeral in this stunning gold tie, and there's no doubt in my mind, she'll say something about it." She smiled, giving a subtle wink. "But if she gives you trouble, you tell her your amazingly smart wife permitted you to go bold."
Jack grinned from ear to ear, swaying his head at her untamed wit. He would miss that the most. The man grabbed her waist and pulled her body into his, kissing the smooth skin on her hand. She had a way of making everything seem okay, even when it wasn't. He'd give anything to change their future, expecting life to crumble without her.
"I love you," Jack said, pressing his nose into hers, gazing into the woman's luminous green eyes.
Their lips met, and Haylee stood on her tiptoes, caressing his cheek as they kissed. Passion settled between them as they parted, continuing to stare at one another. The woman's appearance faded into a frown, fiddling with his tie as she sighed.
"Jack, I want to talk to you about what happens after I'm gone." Jack's expression became puzzled by her change of posture, but he kept eye contact. "When you hit rock bottom, I know how you get. You're not good with vulnerability, babe. And that worries me."
"I don't understand..." The man furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"
"No one copes well with losing someone, but you especially struggle with it." She caressed his cheek. "You can get very... obsessive."
"I don’t get obsessive," Jack said, striving not to overreact to her words.
"Yes, you do."
"I do not!"
"Babe, you're literally obsessing over you not being obsessive." Haylee raised her eyebrow and smirked. "We've been together for seven years, trust me, you get obsessive." He rolled his eyes, attempting to move away until she drew him back. "Hey, listen to me! I'm not saying this to hurt you. I understand why you get like that."
"Then why are you telling me this?"
"Because when I'm gone, Maddie's the only person you'll have to get possessive over." She saw a flash of pain enter his eyes, and the woman hated how blunt her words had to be. "You're going to become extra controlling because life will be so chaotic. Maddie will be the only stable thing you have to cling on. And at first, it'll be okay because she'll need that. But she's going to learn to cope faster than you, and when she does, you'll have a hard time letting go. Like you do with everything."
As Haylee's point sank into his brain, Jack's stature shriveled. She was right, and he knew it. Not that it made it any easier to admit. It's another reason he didn't want to lose her. Afraid of failing and destroying Maddie in the process.
The woman saw defeat in his eyes, sensing the man's overwhelming self-doubt.
"Jack," she said, tenderly encircling her arms around his neck. "Talk to me, babe. Tell me what you're thinking."
Jack's eyes got moist as he avoided her gaze. He didn't have the words to express his feelings on everything to come. The woman wiped the damp from under his eyes, and it made his heartache. Jack bit his bottom lip, swaying his head as his emotions surfaced.
"It's not fair," he whispered.
"Oh, babe." Haylee drew him into her embrace, and he squeezed her body in his arms. "I know it's not, but you can do this. I don't want you to misunderstand what I’m saying. Maddie adores you; you're her favorite person in the entire world." Jack chuckled, joy entering his chest when thinking of Maddie's love. "You're going to raise her just fine, Jack." She pulled him away, running her thumb over his chin. "I just need you to remember to check yourself sometimes, okay? Promise that you won't smother our daughter."
Jack released a long exhale and nodded.
"I promise," he said, and Haylee grinned, pecking his mouth.
"You know what, though?"
"What?" Jack asked, aroused as she tightened around his neck, their bodies caressing one another.
"With me, you can be as possessive as you like," she said in a sexy, playful manner.
"Yeah?" Jack provided a light chuckle.
"Mm-hmm," she purred, leaning in to kiss him. It's a drawn-out kiss of desire, and neither of them wanted to break it. Their lips parted, but the couple stayed face to face.
"Good," Jack said, peering at a man on the other end of the store. "Because that guy has been checking you out for like the last five minutes. So, I'm gonna have to say something."
He released the woman from his grasp, leaving her until she giggled and dragged him back.
"Woah, Jack, too far," she said, pressing herself against him again. They embraced each other and laughed, sharing another affectionate kiss.
✦"Ouch!" Sawyer exclaims as Jack rips the bandage from his arm. "Easy, Jackass."The blonde's eyes sear into his flesh like daggers, yet it's more annoying than anything else. Jack had never been good with bedside manners, and it doesn't help serving someone he loathes."You want it easy, quit moaning. I gotta change these bandages.""Well, try not takin' my skin off with 'em." The doctor purses his lips before strolling to his backpack of supplies. He isn't sure how much more of Sawyer's attitude he can endure. Half the time, he wants to beat the living hell out of him. But he needs to get past that violence—not like it would do him any good anyway.What's worse is Sayid left due to yesterday's events. The man perhaps took things a little far, but Sawyer also lied to them. He pushed both him and Sayid into a place of anger, earning himself a blade in the arm. All the same, the soldier is a valuable member of their group, and his departure won't go unnoticed."How'd I score the house call, Dr. Quin? Tryin' to ease your conscience?""My conscience is fine, thanks," Jack answers with annoyed confidence."Course, what'd you got to feel guilty about?" Sawyer raises his brow as if genuinely contemplating the question. "I mean, you just let that damn Arab torture me; stood by and watched." Jack ignores him the best he can while rummaging the medical supplies. "Only reason you're here—""I'm here... because no one else wants anything to do with you."The man's words are cold and precise, hitting Sawyer in all the right spots. Jack can't help feel a sense of pride, watching the blonde gawk speechlessly at him. From day one, Sawyer dispersed plenty of rude comments, so it's about time he's on the other end.Sawyer watches Jack with pure hatred. But a clever thought enters his mind, turning his frown into a coy smirk."She does..."As soon as the words exit his mouth, sheer rage enters Jack's stomach. Sawyer is walking on thin ice, and he knows it. Yet he can't help but do it. He enjoys having something Jack can't change, no matter how hard he tries. Maddie loves him. Together, apart, it doesn't make a difference. And he knows it drives Jack insane.With an unamused chuckle, Jack zips his backpack and stands. He tosses a fresh bandage at Sawyer with distaste and grins."Change your own bandage," Jack says, walking off with haste."You afraid imma steal her away, Doc?" Sawyer gets no response, not even a nasty glare. But he's gotten under the man's skin regardless.The moment replays in Jack's head as he marches down the shore. Is that what he's afraid of happening? That Maddie might love Sawyer more? It seems so ridiculous when the thought crosses over his mind. She'll never replace him with someone else, not even Sawyer. Or, so he hopes.✧
The night grew cold as Jack remained in his parked car, sitting in the driveway of his empty house. His eyes were moist from the tears he couldn't restrain. Four hours since Haylee's death, yet it felt like no time passed at all. It's as if he's in a time loop, reliving the scene over in his mind.
Maddie clung to him afterward, not letting go for anyone. Only when she fell asleep was the man able to detach her. They drove to his parent's house, and Jack carried the girl upstairs to his old room. He dressed her in a shirt he'd left behind and tucked her in for the night. That's what led him home. His parents insisted they stay with them for a bit, and Jack had little reason to argue. It's not like he would get any sleep at his home. However, they still needed certain items, making it impossible to bypass the visit.
So there Jack sat, sheer anxiety and dread overwhelming his body. Ten minutes come and go before he forces himself out of his vehicle and into his nightmare.
As he entered the house, he noticed a shift in the atmosphere. The air grew dense as if the universe understood something terrible occurred. He placed his keys on the table beside the entrance, avoiding the family pictures on the surface. Everything appeared normal until he saw the kitchen stool lying on the floor. Jack took a deep breath before proceeding forward to place it back on its feet.
The mess in the kitchen came into view, shards of glass scattered among the ground. Fruits and vegetables lay sprawled on the counter, waiting for someone to continue their work. A story unfolded, and Jack could almost see it play out in front of him. Maddie sounded so scared when she called him at work. She saw Haylee collapse, heard the glass bowl in her hands smashing onto the floor. Maddie had witnessed so much of the woman's worst days. With Jack's schedule so unpredictable, the girl learned to help care for her mother. But this particular experience was too much to ask of a child her age, no matter how strong she was. Maddie would forever keep this disturbing moment in her mind.
Jack spent thirty minutes cleaning until he's unable to prolong going upstairs any longer. Another deep breath and the man traveled up the steps to Maddie's bedroom. He put some items together in a bag, paying no mind to the time as he now evaded his room. But wasn't it just like time to linger when you least wanted?
Once he finished with Maddie's things, Jack stood outside his bedroom, eyeing the white wooden door. Several pep talks rolled through his brain, but he remained glued in place. It's a trap to him, one he knew he must face. Jack opened the door and pushed ahead with absolution in his motions. Everything appears as usual, but he knew it would never be the same.
The man placed the bag in hand on the bed, and immediately he wished he had taken more precautions. On top of the covers lay one of Haylee's thin cardigan sweaters. Jack sighed, and although he knew this was the trap he had anticipated, he couldn't help picking up the item. The fabric is nearly weightless as he held it, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His thumb moved on the sweater, and he's confident the woman's essence is still lingering on the surface. Jack pushed it against his nose, taking in the smell.
As soon as Haylee's scent overwhelms his senses, his eyes shut, and tears pour out. He clutched the shirt and buried his face into it. It hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced before. It's as much physical as it was emotional, and it claimed every nerve in his body. He fell back onto the bed and curled into a ball, keeping the garment close. Tears pour from his soul, making breathing difficult. The pain is unbearable, and it showed no sign of easing up. What did he do to deserve this? Would he ever feel whole again? He couldn't do it. It's too much to say goodbye, too hard to let go.
✧
The car engine hummed as Jack drove back to his parent's house. He spent over an hour curled in a ball crying, yet it wasn't enough to heal anything. What lingered on his mind now was what came next for him and Maddie. Even if Haylee told him numerous times he could raise Maddie fine without her, he still didn't believe it. All year he tried to prepare for the future of being a single parent, but he wasn't ready.
Tears swell in his eyes again, and he quickly wiped them away. He had zero desire for another sobfest.
After pulling into the driveway, Jack's brain turned off along with the engine. The silence was too much, reminding him there was no one there. She's truly gone from his life forever.
He imagined the night he first met her. When he found himself lost, obsessing over his ex-wife, who could scarcely look at him. He even accused his father of being the other man in the affair. Lost didn't come close to describing how damaged Jack was at that time. Haylee broke down every wall he built and helped him find his self-worth. Then there's Maddie, the single most precious thing in his life. One of the best gifts he had ever received. Without Haylee's encouragement and love, Maddie wouldn't exist. The notion gave him chills because a world without his baby is a cold one.
How's he supposed to move on from that? How could he let go of the woman who gave him strength? It seemed next to impossible.
The man exhaled and rubbed his face in frustration, stepping from the car with the bag of clothes. He slowed when the front door opened, and Maddie rushed outside, his large shirt swallowing her body as she pursued him. Christian followed behind, and Jack smiled until he noticed Maddie's moist, red face. He placed the bag on the ground, opening his arms to swoop her up.
"What's wrong, baby? What happened?" Jack asked in a hushed voice, but Maddie remained silent. The child buried her face into his shoulder and sobbed, struggling to breathe. "Hey, shh. Take it easy."
After a few breathless sobs, Maddie consumed the fresh air of the night and relaxed in her father's arms. Christian approached, relieved to see Jack succeeded in soothing her. The brunette held the girl tight, rocking her back and forth while stroking her hair. He peered at his father, expressing all his concern in one glance.
"She woke up about an hour ago and started crying once she realized you weren't there." Christian sighed, reaching over to rub Maddie's back. "Poor kid wore herself out from screaming so long. She spent the rest of the time sitting at the window waiting for you."
Jack's stomach dropped as every emotion spread through his bones. He expected Maddie to be in pain, but this was a whole other level.
"Did..." Jack pursed his lips, scared of the answer to his question. "Did she say anything?" Christian's shoulders dropped, a moment passing before he shook his head.
Two days was too long for Jack not to hear his baby's voice. It tore him apart inside. He shut his eyes, kissing Maddie's cheek as her limbs tightened around him. Anxiety and doubt clouded his mind. How would they move past this? Could anything mend the hole Haylee left behind?
✦It's a relaxing evening at the caves as everyone eats the boar Locke caught and converse with one another. Maddie sits against the wall drawing while Jack aids an older gentleman with a back rash. He hears arguing in the distance and looks in that direction. Hurley approaches with two wooden plates of food, greeting the doctor."What's going on out there?" Jack asks, proceeding to dab a wet cloth on his patient's rash."You know, the usual. People yelling at each other over nothing." Hurley grimaced, frustrated by people's communication skills—or lack thereof."Doc?" The older man turns to him. "What do you think this is? This rash, it's bad, right? Like some kind of tropical disease?""It's hives," Jack answers, almost snapping with impatience."What's that? Is that like poison ivy?""It's a common rash. It's brought on by heat and stress." Jack hates dealing with patients that exaggerate every little detail. But what does he know? He'd only gone to a grueling three years of medical school. From the corner of his eye, Jack sees Maddie giggling behind her drawing book. It forces him back into happiness, shaking his head at her amusement towards the situation. "Just try to relax; it'll clear up." "Okay," the man says with a nod.The two of them stand, and Jack's temper shifts to something more carefree."Try to keep your mind off it." Sun leads the patient away, holding a coconut shell filled with one of her natural medications. As they venture on, Hurley raises an eyebrow at Jack."Try to keep your mind off it?" he says while chuckling. "What else does that guy have to do but stress?"Hurley hands him a plate, and irritation prickles underneath Jack's skin. He meets his daughter's gaze and waves her over."Come on, Maddie. Time to eat." Maddie races over, perching herself on his lap. She takes a piece of boar from her father's hand, and Jack shreds the remaining meat into smaller pieces. "I got enough on my plate without having to treat hypochondriacs." Maddie gives him a perplexed stare, and he chuckles. "It's someone who thinks they're sick when they're not."The girl's mouth slightly parts at the answer, unable to fathom why someone would want to believe they're sick."That's like my point, man. We're all fried." Hurley considers himself somewhat of an expert on human nature. He understands what makes people tick, having undergone many mental struggles himself. "You may get how the cardio... vascular... micro whatever works..." Jack laughs at the man's disastrous medical vocabulary. "But I understand how things go up here." He points to the side of his own forehead, peering at the doctor with assurance. "I mean, have you taken a look at everyone out there? Everybody's way tense."Jack scans the area, observing the others around them. True, no one appears satisfied, but they're alive. Isn't that what's most important?"Dude, I'm just saying, it'd be sweet if we could have like... something to do.""We're surviving here, Hurley. And that's my main concern, keeping us alive." Jack pushes his head against Maddie, maintaining contact with Hurley. "Things could be worse.""How?" Hurley exclaims with a broad grin. "Look, Maddie agrees with me, don't you, Maddie?" Maddie giggles, and an intense blush crosses her cheeks as the man gestures to her."Is that so?" Jack says, pulling Maddie closer to him. "You think Hurley's right, Monkey?" She extends her neck, leaning her head back to peer up at him and nod. "See!" Hurley says while grinning with pride."Hey!" Jack tickles her with his free hand. "What gives? You're supposed to be on my side!"The three laugh and continue to eat. All fun and games aside, Jack does worry about the elements getting to people. Much as he strives to avoid it, the other survivors are feeling more like family now. And he wants everyone to find a sense of comfort and safety.✦Jack's eyes shoot open at the sound of Maddie's screams. He sits up and looks to his side, seeing Maddie thrashing in her sleep."Maddie!" The man shakes her body, panic growing inside him. Her eyes open as she gasps for oxygen, nails digging into the skin of his arm. "Hey, Monkey, it was a dream."Wetness clouds her vision as Jack scoops her up in his arms, and the girl burrows into his chest. It's late, way past the child's bedtime. He spent hours trying to get her to sleep earlier that night. Her daily routine has become stagnant, leaving her with more energy than usual. It's one thing he misses about the beach. She would go all day running in the sun, making her exhausted by bedtime. It also seemed to help with the nightmares as her brain spent less energy on dreaming.The girl hides her face, embarrassed when she sees a few people rush over. Jack hushes her cries, kissing her forehead while rocking her back and forth. She tries to stop her body from trembling but fails at each attempt."Is she okay?" Charlie asks, moving in a little closer."Yeah, just a bad dream," Jack answers, tightening his grip. He glances up to see Walt and Micheal. The boy's expression displays frightened concern, and Jack smiles to reassure him. "She's alright, Walt. Just a little shaken up."Micheal pulls Walt close to him, and the boy nods. As the commotion dies down, Maddie stays confined to her father. Jack can't help but wonder what her dream entailed, though he's sure he already knows."Another dream about Mommy?" Maddie peers up at the man, her eyes shining still. She remains silent, contemplating her answer before shaking her head. "No? You wanna tell me what it was about?"The child's expression appears weak and sad, but Jack senses more than fear of her nightmare. She denies him once more, breaking eye contact but snuggling closer. The man exhales, thrown off by her lack of connection. After a moment, Maddie pulls away and reaches into her pocket to grab the shell Sawyer gifted her. She holds it to her chest before snuggling into her father once more. Jack gawks, shutting his eyes as he now realizes who the nightmare involved. Sawyer.It breaks his heart to know the truth, to realize she thinks she has to hide that from him. Yet he's more disappointed in himself than anything else, ashamed of his own insecurities. Doubt clouds his judgment, and he fights the urge to ignore doing what's right."I'm sure Sawyer's fine, baby. He can take care of himself."Maddie looks up, and he gives a promising grin. But she can see through the man's act. She overflows with shame, recognizing how much he doesn't want her to love the other man. She's torn between the two of them. And though she tries, her heart doesn't want to let Sawyer go.✧
Opening her eyes, Maddie yawned and stretched her arms out in bed. She stared around her room, noticing everything overly bright and white.
"Maddie?"
The child sat up at the sound of her mother's voice. She had a strange feeling about it, recalling a blurred morbid memory. Maddie hopped from her bed and ran into her parent's room. There sat her mother in bed, opening her arms at the sight of her baby.
"Hey, come here, Baby Girl," Haylee said with a smile.
Maddie beamed as butterflies filled her stomach. She ran to the bed and climbed on, sinking into the woman's arms.
"My little princess." Haylee kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much."
Relief settled into Maddie's chest as she pushed into her mother's body. It's warm, safe, and familiar. Whatever the horrible memory lingering in her mind was about, it must have been an awful dream.
After a moment of happiness, Maddie felt the woman's body grow thin. She opened her eyes, finding her mother lifeless and cold. All the memories of her death came screaming back as the muscles on Haylee's body shrink. The room grew dark and cold, Maddie watching in horror. Haylee's eyes reopened, appearing dead as she reached towards the girl.
Maddie screamed, struggling to get away from the nightmare. The woman called her name again, grabbing her arm as she attempted to pull her closer.
"Maddie!" The girl's eyes open to her father, gripping her tight and staring with endless concern. "Hey, sweetie. Calm down. You were dreaming."
Maddie's mind expected another trick to seize the situation. She looked at her father's skin, waiting for it to decay into nothing, but it all remained the same. Her shoulders fell as she broke into tears. Jack took her into his arms, securing her with his strength. The child's reality wasn't much better than her dream. Her mother was still gone, and soon she'd resemble the person in the nightmare. That was, assuming she didn't look that way already.
"Oh, Maddie," Jack said, rocking her back and forth. "It's alright. Daddy is here."
✧
Two days passed since Haylee's death, and the worst day of all had finally arrived. The funeral awaited Jack and his daughter. Even though everything's taken care of, it's still beyond stressful. Maddie sat on the bed, watching her father eye the two ties in front of him. One was a dull red, while the other was bright gold. The man peered up and grinned.
"Which one, Monkey?" Jack asked. It's a test to him—almost aspiring to rebel against Haylee's wishes. "Gold or red?"
The girl tilted her head as if the choice was obvious, pointing to the gold tie. Jack smiled, knowing how proud Haylee would be of her. He sighed and continued getting ready, putting on the gold tie with some reluctance.
"Okay, come on," Jack said once finished. Maddie stands on the bed, looking adorable in her black dress and leggings. She reached out her arms, silently asking for him to hold her. "Ah, of course. How could I forget?"
Jack strolled over to pick her up, and they traveled downstairs into the kitchen. Christian lowered his newspaper, greeting them with his warm personality.
"Good morning," Christian said with a grin.
"Morning, Dad," Jack answered, feeling Maddie's grip tighten. "Where's Mom?"
"She went to the funeral home early to make sure everything is in order. I'm assuming she didn't want you to worry about it." Jack lifted his head before slowly nodding, unsure how to respond. "That's a nice tie."
The brunette heard a hint of sarcasm in his father's voice. He raised an eyebrow, giving the older man a stern expression.
"Haylee picked it out before she..." Jack stopped himself, peering at Maddie. "You know... before everything happened."
"Ah, it certainly looks like something she would pick out." Christian chuckled while sipping his coffee.
Jack didn't like how chipper his father appeared on such a day. However, he knew the man well enough that it didn't surprise him. It was rare for Christian to show those deeper emotions.
Jack placed Maddie on the counter and ran his hand through his hair.
"What do you want to eat, Monkey? Pancakes? Cereal?"
Maddie shook her head, refusing all his offers.
"Maddie, you need to eat something. You've hardly eaten in the past two days."
The child refused again, looking more annoyed this time. She wasn't hungry. Every taste, every smell, it made her stomach sick.
"Please, sweetie. Do it for me?"
Maddie whined, hugging him as she hid her face. She hated him for putting that pressure on her, yet it didn't change her mind or entice her appetite. The brunette sighed, wrapping his arms around her as tears formed. Already he was failing at being a single parent. He felt so ineffective without Haylee's guidance.
✦The next morning, Jack awoke bright and early to check the medical supplies. With their resources scares, he took it upon himself to make sure no one's stealing. Maddie avoided everyone most of the morning, showing little interest in anything. Yet Jack didn't find himself alone as Walt kept him company."So, you've seen inside someone's body?" Walt cringes, causing Jack to laugh. He recalls a similar reaction from himself as a boy. Jack would question Christian about the so-called family business, trying to accept his future. But oftentimes, he found himself daydreaming about playing the piano instead. "Yep.""What's it look like?"The doctor pauses, gazing into the distance. How does one describe the internal anatomy of a human? It's certainly not the stuff of poetry."It's... slimy, bloody," Jack answers with a smirk."Really?" Walt's face scrunches up in disgust until he raises an eyebrow and smiles, intrigued by the notion. "Cool!" Jack shakes his head and chuckles. The young boy's curiosity reminds him so much of Maddie. "I don't know much about what my dad does.""Why don't you ask him?""He doesn't like it when I ask him questions," Walt says, his lips turning to a frown. Frustration consumes the atmosphere, and Jack can sense his pain on the matter."I'm sure that's not true, Walt. He's probably just overwhelmed, you know? It's a lot of change for both of you.""Yeah, I guess." Walt shrugs his shoulders. "Do you like it when Maddie asks you questions?"A wide smile slips onto the man's cheeks as he fiddles with a tube of Neosporin. The answer's an obvious one to him. What parent doesn't want their child to take an interest in them? To be seen as a wise person."I love it," Jack answers with a half-smile. The boy turns to peer at Maddie from the other side of the cave. "How come she doesn't talk?"Jack exhales, trying to find the right way to explain. He isn't sure he knows the reason; all he can do is assume."She's still hurt after losing her mom. I don't think she understands everything that happened." Together they watch Maddie skim the pages of Stuart Little. "I'm glad she has a friend like you, though, Walt. She hasn't been too keen on having friends lately."Walt beams with pride, his comment causing him to feel more grown-up. He appreciates the respect he gets from Jack and Locke. The type of respect his relationship with his father lacks."Is she ever going to talk again?"Jack yearns for an affirmative answer to that mystery. It's hard to say if she ever will."I hope so." "Walt!" Micheal calls, sounding displeased. "Jack's got work to do, man. What are you doing over here?""No, it's cool. Walt's keeping me company while I do this." The doctor gives a subtle wink to the boy."Oh..." Micheal scratches the back of his head. "Well, you got a minute, Jack? I wanted to show you something."He brings forth a notebook, showing Jack a drawing design he created for bamboo showers. It's more than impressive, although nowhere near what he'd seen Haylee draw."You drew this?" Jack asks as he grins."I was an artist in a previous life," Micheal answers in a tame voice as if his past is unimpressive."I thought you were in construction?""I am... I mean, I was. Long story.""Hey, Jack." Charlie races over, sweat glistening on his skin from his travels. "Hurley's all worked up about something; says we should come and see.""Uh, okay," Micheal says with hesitation. He knew as well as Jack, Hurley's mind operates in mysterious ways. "Walt, you stay here. I'll be back in a little while.""But I want to go too!" "You'll do what I tell you, Walt!" "You're not the boss of me!" The boy stares down his father, unafraid of any consequences."What did you just say?""Uh, Walt..." Jack kneels in front of the child and grips his shoulder. "It's been a rough day for Maddie. Do you think you could stay here and watch her for me? I think she could use a friend."Walt tilts his head, contemplating the request as he peers at Maddie. He hates getting left behind, but he also wants to help. After all, Maddie would do the same for him."Yeah, okay. I'll stay with her.""Thanks. I'm sure Maddie will appreciate the company." Jack smiles and pats his shoulder. The boy watches as they leave the caves, and part of him wants to follow. He sways his head and exhales before wandering towards the girl.✦Charlie peers back at Jack and Michael, agitated by their slow pace. The two are limiting him immensely. He can only hope whatever Hurley has in store is worth the frustration."Come on, you two, my great gran can walk faster," Charlie shouts back before trudging further ahead.Jack leans on his knees and chuckles, feeling older than he is. The stress has taken its toll on everyone, but it consumes even more from those in charge. He is beginning to see the top of the food chain isn't all it's cracked up to be."Shit!" Michael says from behind, and Jack turns to see him trip, colliding with the ground."You okay?" He rushes over, his medical training kicking into high gear at the sight of pain. "Yeah, fine," Michael answers, accepting his help. "Never liked the outdoors much." "Tell me about it," Jack says with a wild grin.Both men laugh, comforted by their similarities. Jack carries high respect for Michael for his efforts in fatherhood. He's only heard a little about his and Walt's story, but he knows enough. "Hey, I hope I wasn't out of line back there," Jack says as they proceed ahead. "I didn't mean to overshadow you.""Oh, no, man. It's fine." Relief catches Jack's stomach, and Michael chuckles. "Honestly, I'm impressed. That boy is thick-skulled, so I'm more curious about how your method works." "It's surprising how well most kids respond to reverse psychology." A wide smile crosses the brunette's lips. "I offered him a choice. You're not telling him what to do, he's deciding for himself."Michael ponders his words for a moment. It's simple and brilliant, yet he's confident he'll fail in performing it."You come up with that yourself?" Michael asks with skepticism. Laughter erupts from the brunette, wishing he could say yes. "No, my wife. I swear she was born to raise a child." He grins, recalling the many times Haylee's parenting skills outshined him. "That's why Maddie is so mature for her age. Haylee just knew how to talk to her.""I'll say," Michael says with a light scoff. "I've never met a kid as well behaved as Maddie."The statement causes Jack's stomach to turn in knots. Given what happened between him and Maddie yesterday, it's a grave reminder of their situation."Well, Maddie can be a real challenge under the right circumstances. I've learned not to underestimate her." "Oh, yeah. You mean with Sawyer?" Michael pats Jack's shoulder and chuckles. "I heard you almost beat the shit out of him yesterday. I can't say I blame you." Jack shakes his head, displaying disagreement towards his own violent actions. "No, seriously. That guy's a problem on two legs. Don't feel you need to check yourself because of him."Jack comes to a halt, watching Michael walk ahead before noticing his absence. He turns back, giving Jack a puzzled stare. "What... what did you say?" Jack asks, his voice uneasy."I..." Michael raises an eyebrow, feeling a bit alarmed. "I said, don't check yourself because of someone like Sawyer. Why?"Jack's brain runs rampant, now remembering his and Haylee's conversation. She was right about everything. Here he was doing what he promised he wouldn't do. But it's what's best for Maddie—or so he tells himself. Sawyer might as well be a ticking time bomb; no one can say when his countdown will end."You okay, Jack?" Michael asks, drawing the man out of his thoughts."Yeah..." Jack displays a slight grin before the two continue to walk again. "So, um... What happened between you and Walt's mother? If you don't mind me asking?""Her career meant more than me. She moved across the world with Walt and met someone else. Then she convinced me to give up my rights to him, and she moved on." He sighs, feeling an ache in his heart. "I just wanted what's best for him, and I didn't think that was me. Hell, I still don't think I'm what's best for him. But Prince Charming shows up one night, telling me Susan is dead, and he never wanted Walt."Sympathy pours from Jack's soul as he peers at him. He understands all too well what it's like to get replaced. What it feels like when someone tells you you're not good enough for them. The thought settles inside him like a heavy rock. "That sounds awful, Michael," Jack says with sincerity. "If it's any consolation, you're doing your best for Walt. You're here for him despite everything, and that counts for something in my book.""Thanks, man. Hey..." Michael says before gripping his shoulder, bringing them to a stop. "Look, don't tell Walt what I said here. I don't want him to see her any differently. She did what she thought was best for them."Jack half-smiles, unsure if he agrees, but knows it's not his place to say otherwise. He believes their relationship might grow better if Michael opens up on some level. Yet he nods all the same and vows himself to secrecy.✧
An hour later, Jack, Maddie, and Christian headed out to the funeral home. Jack's anxiety prevailed as he was unable to get Maddie to eat. Another problem he couldn't fix. They entered the building, greeted by Scott, Haylee's father. The man was of average height and size with short brownish-grey hair, a welcoming grin on his lips.
"Hey," Scott said with a chuckle.
The two shake hands as Scott eyed the child in Jack's arms. He pats her back, sadness sinking in from her avoidant response. Jack acknowledged the sadness in his eyes, and it hurt him just the same. Maddie loved Scott; it devastated her when he had moved away to Texas. Usually, she would be jumping up and down to see him. But the child's now a shadow of her old self.
"It's not you, Scott," Jack said, slightly whispering. "She's been very closed off since all this happened."
Maddie wanted to show excitement, but inside, all she felt was death. Nothing in the world mattered anymore. What's the point if it could all get taken away without so much as a word? No, she would take no part in that anymore. The only person she needed to be with was her father, who she feared losing the most.
"It's okay. I understand," Scott answered with a slight grin. "I can't blame her. You two have been through a lot."
"I'm sorry you didn't get here in time. I should have—"
"No, no, Jack. It's not your fault." He patted Jack's shoulder. "If anything, it's mine. I should have moved back when you told me Haylee was sick."
Jack stared with sorrow and sympathy. He knew what throwing yourself under the bus looked like, and Scott's comment was it.
"Scott—"
"Mr. Shepard?" A bald man approached, who Jack recognized as the funeral director. "Your wife's ready if you would like to see her before the viewing."
The brunette sighed, unsure about his desire to witness Haylee so lifeless. Yet another part of him needed to view her regardless of that fact. It killed him to know they would soon bury her in the earth, far from his reach.
"Of course," Jack said, following the man to the room his wife occupied. He felt Maddie tremble, and just as they reached the door, she began to fuss. "Maddie!" Jack said, attempting to calm her down. "Hey, stop it! What's going on?"
The girl breathed heavy, her screams ceasing as Jack pulled her to look at him. But the funeral director opened the door, giving Maddie a glimpse of her mother's casket. She screamed again, gripping for her father as she hid in his shoulder. Jack noted her reaction, now recognizing the child's fears.
"Alright, alright, baby. You don't have to go in," Jack said, rubbing her back as she cried. Christian stepped forward, extending his arms.
"How about I take her for now?" Maddie immediately protested, clinging to her father for dear life.
Everyone grew quiet, and Jack's emotions hit the surface. He had no idea what to do. Perhaps he would have to forgo seeing Haylee for the last time. The brunette sighed, and Scott moved towards them, capturing Maddie's attention.
"You know, Maddie, I took your mom to a funeral once." The child sniffed, still trembling as she listened with interest. "She was a little younger than you, and it terrified her. She held onto me the entire time. Did I ever tell you that story?" Maddie shook her head, tears invading her cheeks. "No? Well, how about you come with me, and I'll tell you all about it? Would you like that?" The girl hesitated, curious to hear more but reluctant to leave her father. As always, her curiosity won the battle, and she nodded. "Okay, come on then, pumpkin."
The older man extended his arms, and Maddie accepted as her father handed her over. Jack smiled, giving Scott a single nod of gratitude.
"Thanks," Jack whispered.
"Well, catch up with you later," Scott said, returning the gesture before walking Maddie down the hall.
Jack and the funeral director entered the narrow room. It's empty, aside from a few flowers, chairs, and the coffin. Jack regarded the man as he opened the wooden box, exposing his wife's pale, lifeless body. Even in death, she's beautiful. The only thing missing was her lively spirit.
"I'll give you a minute," the funeral director said, leaving Jack alone.
Jack moved forward, leaning on the side of the coffin. He ran his hand through Haylee's soft hair with a weak smile.
"Hey, babe," he said, holding back the tears. "God, how am I going to get over not seeing your face every day?" He chuckled, pretending he could hear her laughing with him.
Despite his efforts, she doesn't respond. It made him feel stupid, and he rubbed his forehead in distress. But the sensation subsided as thoughts of Maddie plague his mind.
"Maddie is struggling." Tears formed in his eyes, unable to restrain them. "I don't know how to help her, Haylee." Droplets fell as he shut his eyes in protest. Acknowledging the pain only made it worse, and he broke down in seconds. "I need you to tell me what to do. Please tell me how to fix it. Please."
Jack waited in silence, praying all this was a dream. If he sat long enough with patience, perhaps she'd open her eyes. But the minutes go by, and the man is sorely disappointed. He shook his head, wiping away the tears he's ashamed to have shed. He kissed the woman's forehead, feeling her icy skin upon his lips.
"I love you, Haylee. And I..." He held his breath, attempting to restrain the tears again. "I always will."
✦Never would Jack have guessed what Hurley had spent his time doing that day. The larger man decided what they all lacked was a little fun. He built a golf course of all things to satisfy the need. Jack and Michael were utterly shocked at first, seeing his efforts as a waste of time. But as the four of them stepped into an intense game, they saw the appeal. Soon enough, a few others joined in on the action, forcing Jack and Michael to admit they were wrong. It shocked Jack to see how something so simple caused everyone to feel safe and happy. For days he tried to produce a similar effect with no such luck. Yet here Hurley is doing it within a matter of hours. As more people show up, Jack travels back to the caves, eager to tell Walt and Maddie the news. He hopes it might help cheer Maddie up, or at the very least, distract her.Upon his arrival, Jack spots the two playing a game of Backgammon and smiles. Walt has proven a champion at the game, collecting quite a few debts from anyone who challenges him. But it sounds like Maddie gave him a run for his money."Damn!" Walt says as Maddie plays the winning move. The girl widens her eyes at his sharp language, causing him to laugh. "Oops. Sorry." "Hey," Jack says, kneeling as he approaches them. "How's it going, you two?" "Maddie's the first person to beat me..." The boy pauses for a moment before a smirk crosses his lips. "You wanna play?" Jack grins, piecing together the child's motives. He'd likely beat him as well. Perhaps Maddie would give him some shielding pointers later."Maybe another time," Jack answers. "I came to tell you guys about the golf course Hurley made.""A golf course! Really?""Yeah, last thing you'd expect, right? You two want to go check it out? Everyone is over there.""Yeah! I want to go!" Walt says, jumping up with excitement. Maddie, however, remains preoccupied with the game board. She studies the pieces as if she's heard nothing about the current events. What did it matter to her if everyone else is there? She knows everyone doesn't include the one person she wants there the most."What about you, Monkey? You want to come?" Jack asks, noticing the disinterest in her posture.Maddie glances at him, and the sadness in her eyes is painful to behold. She shrugs her shoulders before breaking eye contact. It's enough to show Jack how empty she feels inside. The girl has lost so much already, finding little to live for aside from Jack. Sawyer's the light at the end of her tunnel, the tunnel that's destroying her spirit. The blonde provides something new to her life, something unattached to Haylee's death. How can he take that from her? No matter what his fears and insecurities are, his baby's needs are more important. He knows what he has to do, knows he can't avoid it any longer. "Well, Claire is going over there in a few minutes. You guys go with her, and I'll be down there soon." Maddie's shoulder's drop while she sighs, clumsily getting up to follow Walt. "Hey, Maddie." Jack grabs her arm, pulling her back. He kisses her cheek and runs his hand through her hair. "I love you."Maddie weakly smiles and hugs him, hoping to hearten his doubts. No matter how much she hates the situation, she understands her father's motives. If her staying away from Sawyer was what it took to make him happy, she'll do it. The girl sighs as her head rests on his shoulder. That's how she wants to feel anyway, but deep down, she can't fight the grief of losing someone else. "Come on, Maddie!" Walt says from afar as Claire giggles behind him.Both of them turn to stare at the boy before Maddie grants her father another tame grin. She kisses his cheek and saunters towards Walt and Claire, haunted by sadness. Jack's heart crumbles, knowing there's only one person who can save her from this misery. And unfortunately, it's not him this time.✧
After the funeral, Jack's parents hosted a gathering at their house. Most of the people were part of the Shepherd family, aside from a few friends and colleagues. Haylee's relatives were almost nonexistent. The woman had either never met them, or they never cared to meet her. All in all, Jack had little connection with anyone among the crowd, and loneliness consumed him.
At some point, he spent twenty minutes crying in the bathroom. When he rejoined the group, he saw the pity stares as everyone noticed his red eyes.
"Jack," Margo said, rushing over to him. "Oh, honey, are you alright?"
"Yeah," Jack answered with a weak smile.
"You look like you've been crying."
"Mom, I'm fine. Did you need something?"
"I just heard about what happened with Maddie earlier. You know me and your father are here for both of you." The woman pecked his cheek, stroking away her invisible kiss marks.
"Thanks, Mom." Jack watched as she grabbed his gold tie, clicking her tongue in disappointment.
"Honey, don't you think this tie is a little loud for the occasion?" Margo shook her head. "You couldn't find anything more appropriate?"
The woman peered at her son, seeing his lips purse. He seemed like he might cry, covering his mouth while looking away.
"Excuse me," Jack said, racing past her.
"Oh, Jack..." Margo's heart sank at the sight of his pain, but she let him be.
Jack stepped outside, standing in front of the garage. He leaned on his knees, taking a deep breath before bursting into laughter. He couldn't believe Haylee predicted his mother's exact reaction. The brunette shook his head, holding his stomach from the extreme laughter. But soon he looked to the sky and once more the sadness took over. He frowned, realizing Haylee wasn't there to laugh about it with him. He would never hear her beautiful laugh or humor again.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Scott come into view with Maddie in his arms. The older man whispered into her ear, and she quickly turned to gaze at her father. She struggled to get free, and Jack chuckled as she ran towards him.
"There's my beautiful baby girl." He kneeled with open arms, picking her up to squeeze tight. Even in the darkest of times, Maddie's innocent face turned his world upright. Scott approached them, grinning from ear to ear. "How was she?"
"She did great. I told her every story about Haylee I could remember." Scott chuckled, placing his hands in his pockets. "She reminds me so much of her at that age. You know, she was Daddy's little girl too." His light-hearted humor suddenly turned to sorrow. "At least, before I abandoned her."
"Hey, don't do that to yourself, Scott. Haylee forgave you for all that stuff. The important thing is you found her."
"Yeah, after she'd already grown up and learned to take care of herself," Scott said with a heavy sigh.
"That doesn't matter. You're still here now. You're here for Maddie."
The older man placed his hand on Jack's shoulder and smiled, finding some comfort in those words. He appreciated giving Maddie what he failed to provide Haylee.
"I'm here for you too, Jack. If you need anything, just let me know."
Jack nodded, grateful for the offer. He wasn't sure what his needs from others would entail. But, much as he hated it, he's confident he would need some help sooner or later.
✧ An hour into the gathering, Maddie had fallen asleep, exhausted from the emotional day, although Jack's certain her lack of eating was to blame too. He took her upstairs, laying her down to rest before rejoining their guest. Truth be told, he wouldn't mind a nap himself, and he wondered who let the gathering run over two hours.
"Jack?"
The brunette turned, instantly recognizing the voice.
"Sarah?"
He peered at the woman, confused by her presence. She had no reason to be there; he held zero desire to visit or mourn with her.
"Hey, how are you doing?" Sarah asked, giving the man an awkward hug.
"I'm..." Jack stuttered, finding the whole situation uncomfortable. But he wasn't one to make a scene, playing along best he could. "I'm fine. What are you doing here?"
"Our moms still keep in touch, remember?" She lightly chuckled. "I heard about Haylee and wanted to tell you how sorry I am."
The woman's explanation should have helped him find the right words, yet Jack remained speechless. Her appearance there felt like poison, and if Haylee could see them now, Jack was positive she'd lose it.
"Oh... um. Thanks," Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck. She caught on to his discomfort, and her expression shifted to doubt. "Sorry, I'm just surprised to see you."
A scream echoed down the stairs, forcing everyone's attention in its direction. Jack's eyes filled with horror, knowing it was Maddie's cries. A few people followed as he rushed up the steps. The first thing he observed was Margo next to the closed bathroom door, gently tapping on its surface.
"Maddie, come out, sweetie," Margo said in a gentle voice.
"Mom." Jack touched the woman's shoulder. "What's going on?"
"Maddie was crying, so I went to check on her. But she pushed me away and ran into the bathroom." Margo's eye's appeared wet as if she was on the verge of tears.
"It's okay, Mom," Jack said, delivering a kind smile before kneeling in front of the door. He knocked a few times, hearing his baby's whimpers on the other side. "Maddie? It's Daddy, baby. Come on out."
Silence filled the hallway as the girl's sobbing stopped. The door opened, and Maddie rushed to her father. However, to Jack's surprise, instead of a hug, the child began beating his chest. She was angry and hurt, wondering why he left her alone again. Did he not notice her pain? Understand how much she needed him?
"Hey! Stop it!" He grabbed her arms, forcing her to look at him. The girl gasped for air, her energy running low. Tears fell from her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him. She held him so tight; he wasn't sure she would ever let go. "I'm sorry, Monkey."
Jack peered up to find his parents and Scott, gazing at him with heartfelt sorrow. He shook his head and released a heavy sigh. How was he supposed to fix this?
✦Arriving at the beach, Jack tells everyone the news of the golf course. Relief and joy spread around the camp like wildfire, and the others headed out with excitement. He can't believe how positive of an effect Hurley's idea has on everyone's mental health. But it's a grand sight to witness pure happiness set in among all them. "Hey, stranger," Kate says, walking to Jack with a smile. "Long time, no see.""Yeah." Jack chuckles, unable to contain his enthusiasm."Ah, so the rumors I've heard about you grinning ear to ear at the golf course are true?"Another laugh exudes from the man, and he gazes into the distance, a blush hitting his cheeks."Yeah, I gotta watch that."The two of them stand silent, their eyes speaking for them as they intensely focus on one another. Kate can sense a pull between them, and she wants more."Well, I'd love to know what everyone is fussing over. Care to take me?" Kate asks as she moves closer to him. The man frowns, now remembering the main reason he's there."I'd love to, Kate, but... I'm actually looking for Sawyer," he says with an uncomfortable pause. "Have you seen him around?"Disappointment sinks into the woman's features, struggling to hide her concern. She can't avoid her curiosity, wondering what the two would speak about—though she has an idea."Oh... yeah, he's near his tent, last I saw." Her shoulders fall, and jealousy raids her stomach."Thanks. I'll meet you over there, yeah?" Kate half-smiles as she observed Jack strolling away. It's everything she hates feeling inside. Control slips out of her hands, and rejection takes over. But the more their relationship gets torn, the more she wants him. ✦The tide comes towards the shore in one swift motion as Sawyer picks shells out of the water. He loops his arm and tosses them back into the depth of the sea one by one. Every day still goes by slower than he likes, giving him too much time to reflect. And while the others have each other to keep them company, Sawyer is alone. Not to say he isn't used to it, but a need inside has opened because of Maddie. He doesn't want the solitary anymore, yet he's also afraid of connection. "I wouldn't feel too bad, Sawyer. I'm sure those shells had it coming."Sawyer restrains his arm from throwing, shifting to see Jack near him. Unexpected is an understatement to describe the moment. He didn't think Jack would give him the time of day ever again after everything that happened. On the other hand, it pisses him off, and protective walls surround his fragile heart."We jokin' together now, Doc?" Sawyer asks, cocking his brow. "Funny, I usually like to get on that level with someone before I torture them. But, hey, I guess you go straight for the good stuff."Jack witnesses the slight eye roll from the blonde as he goes back to his task. Tension seeps into the air, and Jack rubs his neck with a cringe. Being honest with himself, he knows he deserves the mean comment. "Look, Sawyer." The man closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He has the strength to be more than his petty anger, especially for Maddie's wellbeing. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. Sayid and I took things too far, even if you were a pain in the ass."Sawyer burst into laughter, doing his best to make Jack feel awkward. He never excelled at leaving well enough alone. No, he's pissed and doesn't plan on letting anyone win him over that easily. "Well, shucks, Doc. If that ain't the best damn apology, I don't know what is!"The doctor shuffles in place, shaking his head. It's hard for him to step down and say he's wrong. So being humiliated in the process makes it unbearable. He has to remember the reason he's doing this. Whether he understands it or not, Maddie has a bond with Sawyer. And if she can find it in her to accept the blonde, then Jack can too."I mean it, man. I'm sorry. I..." Jack exhales, looking into the distance. "You're right. I got scared Maddie might replace me." Sawyer's posture changes in a matter of seconds, taken back by Jack's honesty. "I know it's ridiculous, but what can I say, I sometimes get a little..." The man smiles and glances at his fidgeting hands, thinking of Haylee. "Obsessive." Sawyer stares at him in complete shock, all words flying out the window. "I hoped you might come to the golf course with everyone else?""Golf? Here?""Yeah," Jack says. "Hurley's idea. What do you say?""I say I wasn't born yesterday, Doc. Nobody wants me there, especially you."Jack laughs, and his smile shines in the sun, leaving Sawyer somewhat breathless. The brunette has a gorgeous smile, and Sawyer doesn't feel shame in admitting it. He can see Maddie in that smile, which made it even more beautiful. "Maybe not, but I know someone who wants you there.""You mean Maddie?" Sawyer asks with a smirk, and Jack nods. "Last I checked, Doc, you put a restrain' order on me." "Yeah, well, I'm lifting it." The blonde looks confused like it's the last thing he expected him to say. "Look, I know it would mean a lot to her... and me. So, it's a few miles east of the caves if you change your mind."Jack tosses his backpack over his shoulder and walks toward the jungle, leaving it at that. It's off-putting to Sawyer as he watches him go, torn between his choices. He has never given in before, never let someone get close. Deep down, the man knows it's not Maddie's acceptance that throws him, it's Jacks."Jack!" Sawyer calls, watching Jack stop and stare back. "Why now? What makes this so important all of a sudden?"Jack lingers for a second, attempting to understand it himself. It's not that it's never been important to him before. The truth is, it just took him a while to realize his mistakes."It's not about me, Sawyer," Jack says with a grin. "Maddie is my baby. I'd do anything to make her happy. She's all I have in this world. The only piece of her mother I have left." He sighs, running his hand in his hair. "After Haylee died, Maddie closed herself off to everyone. I got used to being the only person she wanted to be around. It's something that made me feel important. Needed." Jack smiles as pride swells in his heart, impressed by his growth. "But I know better, and Maddie's not like that. She can love both of us. And for whatever reason, you mean a lot to her. She hasn't attached to anyone like that in what feels like forever. Who am I to take that away from either of you?"Sawyer stands awe-stricken by the man's maturity. He's sure it took a lot to admit to that—especially saying it to him of all people. So perhaps the truce he offers is real? Now it's his turn to decide if putting his guard down is worth the risk."That's big of you to admit, Doc. I'm impressed, "Sawyer says as Jack moves back towards him again. The brunette nods, and the tension in his body decreases."So, what do you say? Think you're ready to stop being the outcast?"✧
Darkness overcame the sky, and finally, the Shepard house emptied. After Maddie's breakdown, she and Jack sat on the back porch, enjoying the fresh air. The child snuggled into his chest as he offered her some crackers. She pushed it away in disgust, wishing the man would leave well enough alone.
"Maddie, you have to eat something. Please," Jack said, nudging the food closer with persistence.
The girl hid her face, refusing the nourishment once more. Food sounded terrible, even when she could feel how much her body needed it. Jack exhaled with frustration, placing the crackers on the patio table. He rubbed her back and secured her in his grasp.
"This is a problem, Maddie. You can't stay with Daddy all the time, and you know that." He leaned his cheek on her head. "Eventually, you'll have to go back to school." Maddie shook her head, miserably moaning. "Monkey, it's going to happen whether you want it to or not."
The girl protested with a whine that broke Jack's heart. She cried into his dress shirt, clasping onto him any way she could. The man's eyes grew overwhelmed with emotion, once again fighting off the tears. Enabling her clingy needs wouldn't help heal the wounds, yet force didn't seem right either.
"Okay, how about we make a deal?" Maddie took a deep breath, listening to his proposal. "You start eating again, and we can put school on hold for a little while. Deal?" Jack grabbed the crackers, offering her the choice. After a moment of contemplating, Maddie accepted and ate the small snack.
Soon after eating, the child dozed off in her father's arms. Jack gazed at the night sky, holding his baby tight. His mind and soul lingered in pain and despair. He tried hard to deny his fears, reject the thought of being afraid. But in all reality, he's terrified to move ahead as a single father.
"Hey, how is she doing?"
Jack shifted, watching Sarah sit in a chair across the table. Why was she still around? Everyone else had gone home, back to their ordinary lives. He didn't have the energy to play nice anymore.
"She is strong; she'll get through this," Jack said with a sigh. The woman smiled, and his stomach twisted in knots.
"She looks like you. I mean, Haylee too, but I don't know, I see more of you."
"What are you still doing here, Sarah?" Jack asked, peering at her with annoyance written on his features.
"I..." Sarah straightened her blouse, sensing aggression in the man's tone. "I was helping your mom clean up." Jack displayed a smirk of amusement, discreetly shaking his head in disapproval. "I know me being here doesn't make much sense, seeing how Haylee didn't necessarily like me—"
"Didn't like you? Sarah, she hated you." Jack raised an eyebrow as she chuckled at his brutal honesty—oddly enough.
"Yeah, I guess dislike is a bit of an understatement." Her smile faded, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I'm here for you, Jack. To support you."
Jack's expression remained blank until he chuckled in disbelief. Her concern was unreal to him. She never cared before. It wasn't until Haylee stood up for him that the woman showed some guilt over what happened. The brunette bites his tongue, trying so hard to hold back his hateful words.
"Well, I'm fine," Jack said, his voice rather unconvincing. "I don't need any help, but thanks."
The woman smirked, recognizing that stubborn nature in him. She never understood his hard exterior—nor his soft for that matter. It's the underlying reason she told herself they couldn't work things out.
"Do you..." Sarah said with a pause, peering at him. "Do you ever think about us?"
Jack peered at her with discomfort. "What do you mean? Think about what?"
"How things might have been if we worked out our issues, had a family." She sighed, leaning her arms on the table. "I always wonder how that picture would look. Being a father seems to suit you."
Jack scoffed, unable to hold back anymore. Where was all this compassion way back when? He'd be damned if he fell for her fleeting kindness now. He was past pleasantries and done with people pretending they cared.
"No, Sarah, I never think about us," Jack said as his voice grew cold. "You never accepted all of me, and you never wanted me. Haylee didn't try to guilt me into having a baby. She was patient, kind, and accepted my flaws. The only thing she ever expected from me was growth." He stared Sarah down, letting his words course through her mind. "I damn well never had to worry about her cheating on me." The woman quickly looked into the distance, feeling a sting in her chest. "But the biggest reason I never think about us, Sarah... It's right here in my arms." He pulled his baby close, resting his head on hers. "Maddie doesn't exist in that world. That's not a reality I want to live in."
Cricket chirps saturated the air, and they both sat uncomfortably as Jack's statement lingered. Though the situation was beyond tense, Jack didn't regret speaking his mind. Way too often, he let his feelings go unheard. Haylee's death unhinged him, tearing away at his soft surface.
The woman stood with unease. She presented Jack with her best tensionless smile and left. It surprised him she didn't utter anything else. In the past, she had resorted to cutting him down a notch before they parted. Then again, that was before Haylee scolded her for her hypocritical actions.
Perhaps now Sarah saw the pain she had caused. Did she now understand that it took two people to ruin their marriage? It's a question he assumed would never have an answer.
✦With a straight swing, Kate's golf club hits the ball head-on. The woman smiles to herself, hearing the amazement of the others from behind. She turns to grin at the rest of them, her appearance changing to defeat when she looks at Maddie. The small child looks unimpressed, picking through the grass out of boredom. From afar, the girl spots her father coming over the hill, and she races to greet him.Jack laughs, picking her up to swing in his arms until Maddie's eagerness reverts to sadness. For a moment, the world was right again, but Jack understands now he's only half of what she needs."Hey, Monkey, cheer up. You've been so sad. Come on, can you smile for me?" He grins from ear to ear, giving an exaggerated example. Maddie attempts to reciprocate the gesture but fails to muster up the same energy. "Hmm. That's the best you can give me, huh?" The girl tilts her head, finding his cheery attitude out of place. "Well," Jack says, kneeling as he places her on the ground. "You think you can do any better for him?"The man points to his right, but all Maddie sees is miles of green. Her eyes focus on the area, perplexed until a patch of blonde hair peeks from behind the hill. A broad smile spreads upon her cheeks as more of Sawyer comes into view. She stares at her father again, and he can see the question in her eyes."Yeah, go on, Monkey." He chuckles, nudging his head towards the blonde. "You better make sure he doesn't get lost."Maddie bounces up and down before sprinting out to Sawyer. The blonde peers up and beams at the tiny figure flying towards him. He kneels with open arms, grunting as she hits his body. Maddie's heart feels like it might burst as reality sinks in. She's really in his arms, and she's allowed to be there."I missed you too, Shorty," Sawyer says, picking her up to travel over to Jack. The brunette shakes his head with a smile, happy to see his baby so joyful."You ready for this?" Jack asks Sawyer, gesturing to the group of survivors. The blonde stares at Maddie, and she grins wide with reassurance."I am now." The three walk at a relaxed pace to the others, hearing them shouting among one another. A bet has started on Kate's ability to outdo Charlie for their last shot. People throw out their bids, and Sawyer spots an opportunity to gain some favor. "Two tubes of sunscreen says she chokes."Sawyer holds Maddie a little tighter as everyone goes silent. He sees various types of glances, some negative, while others are curious. But no one appears overjoyed by his presence. Sawyer's confidence shrinks, and he questions his decision to come.Sensing his pain, Maddie sends her father a pleading gaze, urging him to help. Jack's mouth slightly parts, trying to think of a way to alter the situation. All Sawyer needs is a second chance, and if Jack gives it to him, the others will follow suit. "Make that sunscreen and another item of choice, and you're on." Jack glances around at the others for confirmation. The mood lifts almost instantly, aside from Kate, who shifts in place with discomfort."Gettin' a little greedy there, Doc, don't you think?" The blonde asks with a lift of his brow. "I've seen your stash, Sawyer," Jack says, tone growing more playful. "Hell yeah, I'm getting greedy!"Laughter spreads between everyone, and soon others join in on the offer. Maddie slides out of Sawyer's grasp, running towards her father. Halfway to him, she stares back to witness Sawyer's still and awkward stance. She goes back, taking his hand and pulling him with her. They move closer to the group, Maddie standing between her father and Sawyer. She holds both of their hands, watching them exchange nods of gratitude.A grin creeps on her lips as the girl leans into her father's side. It's been forever since Maddie last experienced such happiness. Not since her mother was alive. But now all is right again, and she's got everything she can ever want in both hands.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The glorious morning sun hits Sawyer's face as he relaxes in his tent, reading Watership Down. Something about morning resonates with him; it's peaceful—almost nostalgic. Perhaps it's all those times waking up to beautiful women after a long night of play. And, of course, the thrill of conning them and their clueless husbands afterward.Hmm. No, that's not it. Why has this sense of harmony succeeded him?It's the island madness for sure, too much tropical air. That's right, this peace has nothing to do with the acceptance gained since that day at the golf course. Nothing to do with now feeling a little more whole. Nope. He doesn't need anyone's approval. Sawyer scoffs, closing the book he's unable to focus on. He rubs his forehead with a low moan. Deep down, he's aware of how screwed up he has become.After a moment of self-pity, Sawyer glances up, seeing a small person run at him. He covers his mouth, holding back a giggle as Maddie waddles her way over completely naked. The girl reaches him, crawling into his lap and curling into the fetal position. Sawyer secures his arms around her, shielding her skin from the sun."Well, hey there, Shorty." He chuckles again, not sure how to handle the situation. "Your daddy forget to dress you this mornin'?""No." Out of the distance, Jack walks into focus, holding a towel, hygiene supplies, and some clothes. "No, he did not."He tosses the towel at Sawyer, and the blonde continues to laugh. The towel wraps around Maddie as she buries her face in Sawyer's shirt, hiding from her father, who kneels in front of them."Maddie, there's no getting out of this. And Sawyer can't save you."Sawyer's head snaps up like a Jack-in-the-box. Why does she need rescuing? And, more importantly, why can't he save her? If Maddie needs it, he'll move mountains."Excuse me, Doc? Don't I get a say in this?" Sawyer asks with a rebellious smirk.A grin wins over Jack's cheeks, and he slightly rolls his eyes. Once again, Sawyer is coasting into his territory. But, luckily, they had gotten over all that nonsense. Jack now finds Sawyer's protective nature over Maddie endearing, if not somewhat overbearing."So, either of you care to tell me what's goin' on?" Sawyer stares between Maddie and Jack, waiting for someone to share."Maddie needs a bath. Every few days we come up here to clean off in the ocean." Jack finally answers, placing the clothes and hygiene supplies in the sand.Sawyer's voice draws-out. "And?""Maddie can't swim; doesn't like going in deep water. She had a bad experience a while back. The rough ocean water doesn't exactly help." Jack runs his hand through Maddie's hair. "But has Daddy ever let you drown? No. So I don't know why you're fighting me on this today, Maddie."Jack sighs, closing his eyes while looking like he might fall over. Exhaustion has claimed him, and Sawyer wonders what act of heroism Jack's gotten into this time."You okay there, Doc? Rough night?"It's almost eerie hearing the concern in Sawyer's voice, enough to shock Jack back into normality. Indeed, the night prior was rough. Claire had a particularly bad nightmare. So bad, she dug her fingernails into her palms while she stood screaming in the caves. Jack stayed up with her all night as she wasn't able to fall back asleep. Early that morning, he treated the wounds and tried to comfort her, but it did little to no good."Just some trouble back at the caves with Claire," Jack says, rubbing his eyes."Trouble?" Sawyer leans forward, hugging Maddie tighter.Jack raises his hands to calm him. "Nothing serious, Sawyer," he laughs. "She was sleepwalking during a nightmare and is pretty shaken up over it.""She gonna be alright?""It's added stress to the pregnancy, which isn't good." Jack peers to the ocean, a part of him wishing to escape the responsibility. He focuses on Sawyer again, needing to confide in someone. "She's gonna have the baby soon."Sawyer's lips part and he now sees the reason behind Jack's anxiety. It isn't the current events wearing him out, rather the one on its way—all seven pounds and eight ounces of it. Sawyer glances down at Maddie, smiling when those big green eyes stare back."Well," Jack says as he exhales, "come on Maddie. We better let Sawyer get back to his book."He reaches forward, waiting for the blonde to respond.A bothersome ache clamps Sawyer's heart like usual, and he doesn't want to play nice. Maddie came for protection; now he's supposed to hand her over? Sawyer's jaw clenches, forcing his desire to protest inward as he delivers the helpless child to her father. Jack keeps Maddie wrapt snug and picks up the other supplies from the ground. As they head on their way, Sawyer gets up, placing his hands in his pocket. He contemplates his next move, taking in an ample amount of oxygen."Jack!" Sawyer says, a hint of need in his pitch.Jack stops and peers back with a slight smile. Needless to say, he doesn't expect the words that come next."What if I know a place where the water ain't so rough?"✦Twenty minutes later, the three find themselves far inside the dense jungle. Sawyer leads them down a path he marked for himself, making return visits possible. It's not a relaxing hike by any means, and Jack questions if it's worth the trouble. Finally, they step from the trees, and a small and luxurious waterfall comes into view. Water cascades into the translucent blue pond—so clear it doesn't look real.Jack's mouth drops open, spinning in place with Maddie still in hand. He walks to the water and gazes into the liquid, their reflections looking back with the same astonishment. Maddie studies the area with keen eyes. It's less intimidating than the giant ocean waves, but water is water."Sawyer," Jack says, turning to the blonde with a wide grin. "I can't believe you hid this from the group. How long have you known about this place?"Sawyer rolls his eyes, expecting nothing less from the noble hero Jack Shepard. "Share with a bunch of people who will trash the place, or keep a tropical spa to myself? Ain't that hard a choice, Doc," Sawyer says.If only Jack had the same attitude on these types of decisions. It would be far easier not to give a shit about distributing the wealth. And yet, here Sawyer is giving them the grand tour. Jack's not stupid; Maddie is the only reason he's invited. But still, Sawyer knows damn well the risk of letting him tag along. He's obligated to tell everyone what lays beyond the jungle trees.He walks back to Sawyer and hands Maddie to him with a raised eyebrow."The others will throw a fit when they find out," Jack says with a playful grin. "I don't think it'll earn you any points."Sawyer chuckles, "Back to square one, I guess."Sawyer holds Maddie close as she leans into him, watching Jack place their supplies at the edge of the pond. Without any hesitation, Jack pulls off his shirt, tossing it aside. Sawyer's eyes widened at the swift motion, having no qualms with appreciating a well-built man when he sees one. The lifelike drawing he saw of Jack before did him little justice. He examines the man's tattoos, one on his shoulder and inner arm, accompanied by another small one on the back of his upper shoulder. Strange to see them on someone like Jack; he wonders what stories lay beneath their ink.Jack peers back while slipping off his shoes, beginning to unbuckle his belt. "How's the water?" he asks, utterly unaware of how awkward the situation appears."Uh..." Sawyer coughs, gripping Maddie a little too tight. "Last time I was here, the temperature was just right."Jack pulls off his jeans, leaving him in his boxers as he steps into the pond. Sawyer's information is accurate. The water is cool enough to relieve the humidity but warm enough to be comfortable. He plunges into the depths of the shimmering blue liquid, popping out of the water after a few seconds. It's fantastic, almost like he jumped into summer itself. Jack wipes the moisture from his face, smiling as he looks up to Sawyer and Maddie."Okay, sweetheart, come on." He extends his arms, swimming closer to the edge of the water.Maddie's gut drops as she curls into a tight ball and hides in Sawyer's shirt. She can't go against what she feels inside—utter terror at the thought of being captured underwater. Where the pressure would silence her senses while her lungs burn, and darkness consumes her vision."Monkey, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise," Jack says with a chuckle. "And Sawyer's here too. Nothing is going to happen. Right, Sawyer?"Sawyer's confidence is thin beyond belief. As if he's intruding on something he shouldn't. All the same, he puts on a smile, assuring Maddie of the best."Yeah, of course," he answers, handing the girl to Jack.A grim look appears on Maddie's face, trembling as she exits the safety of Sawyer's grasp. She grips her father, wrapping her limbs around him in fear. Jack chuckles again at her timid reaction, kissing the side of her head. She doesn't appreciate the laughter and plans to make him pay later with some silent treatment—heavy on the silent."I got you, baby," Jack says, moving further into the water. Tears form in the child's eyes, now regretting how little she fought to stay in Sawyer's arms.After a few minutes of letting Maddie settle down, Jack washes her off in the cool, calm water. The fresh-scented soap in Maddie's hair is almost enough of a distraction until Jack leans her back to wash it out. She fights him but knows it's something she can't escape. Sawyer watches the jungle, uncomfortable and silent, glancing at them now and again. It's refreshing to see Jack care for Maddie, and he can't help but grin. All his flaws aside, Sawyer can't deny what a wonderful father Jack makes.Jack finishes rinsing Maddie off and swims them back to the shore. He wraps the towel around her small frame before drying himself off to get dressed. Droplets drip down Maddie's face while she miserably sits and waits. As Jack starts to dry her, she scowls with thoughts of reprisal. Even if she's clean and better now, Maddie doesn't plan to go easy on him. The man pulls her shirt over her head, laughing as he lay her on the ground to slip on her jeans and shoes."Come on, Maddie, it wasn't that bad," he says, hovering over her. She looks away, refusing to debate. "That's how it is, huh?" Jack sighs and shakes his head. "Okay, I didn't want it to come to this, but..."The man pauses for a moment, letting her wonder what comes next. He jumps into action, tickling her sides fiercely. Maddie shifts from side to side, giggling as she tries to push him away. Resisting the urge to laugh and smile is impossible."Oh no!" Jack exclaims, revealing her stomach. "This is worse than I thought! You've got Tummyitis! There's only one cure!"He blows on her belly and continues to tickle. Maddie's giggles grow loud as she fights for freedom, but Jack's hold is firm. The sound of her laughter eggs him on, wanting nothing more than to see her smile. Sawyer smirks at the scene, finding it adorable yet cringe-worthy. It's too cute; he needs to make it stop.The blonde walks over, pushing Jack away. "Alright, that's enough, you two. Time to head back. I got things that need doin'."Maddie takes advantage of the distraction, getting up and running to Sawyer. He grins, retrieving her from the ground. Both of them peer at Jack, who dusts the dirt off his jeans. As Sawyer turns to leave, Maddie sticks her tongue out at the man left behind. Jack's mouth drops, laughing at her playful gesture. The tag team hardly seems fair, but he expects as much.✧
It's a sunny day on one of the many Los Angeles beaches, and Jack sat in the sand, Haylee leaning back into him. His arms are around her, keeping the woman close.
"Hey," Jack said, kissing down her neck. "So, now that we've decided to try for a baby, I got a question."
"Okay, shoot," Haylee answered with a giggle.
"How many kids do you want?"
Haylee laughed and pulled his arms around her tighter. She's almost positive his question was harmless, yet also knew he was still terrified of parenthood. No matter how much she convinced him to move forward, the only real way to rid him of his fear was for him to become a father.
"I was thinking like twenty." She smirked but acted normal otherwise as if her answer was realistic.
"Twenty, huh?" Jack raised his eyebrows. "So, divorce?"
Haylee hit his arm, and they both laughed. The woman's humor on the matter was refreshing to him. She never doubted his commitment.
"Okay, okay," she said, getting serious. "How about eight?"
"Eight! Haylee, are you crazy? What are we, the Von Trapp family?"
"What? I thought you would love a big family, Jack. We both grew up as an only child. Is that what you want for our kids?"
"No, but we don't need eight for them to avoid that."
"Fine. Six," Haylee said, extending her neck to look up at him.
"Two."
"Five. Take it or leave it, Shepard."
"Three." Silence fell between them, looking into each other's eyes with resolve as only one number remained. "I can work with four," Jack said.
"Yeah." Haylee smiled. "Four sounds good to me." She pecked his lips and relaxed in his arms again. "And this way, you'll have four chances not to screw it up."
Haylee laughed at her joke, sighing with content until she realized Jack had gone silent.
"Jack?"
Jack cleared his throat. Her sarcasm didn't resonate with his lack of confidence. "You know, eight actually doesn't sound that bad."
"Jack..." Haylee whined, picking up on what's happening.
"You might even be on to something with twenty."
Haylee turned and pushed his back into the sand. She hovered over the man's body with a reassuring smile.
"Listen to me. You are going to be an amazing father." She leaned in and stole a kiss from him. "And whether we have twenty kids or one, it doesn't matter, they are all going to love you."
The tender words and soft kisses were all Jack needed to regain his faith. He embraced her. As long as they were together, he could do anything.
✦The walk back isn't as tiresome after the delightful dip in the pond. Jack's body feels refreshed, ready to face all the troubles waiting ahead."Not so far, Maddie!" Jack says, watching Maddie chase a giant butterfly.Maddie skips ahead of her father and Sawyer without a care in the world. In her mind, it's all well and good. They need time alone to see all the beautiful things she sees in them in each other."You worry too much, Doc," Sawyer says, chuckling from behind. "Leave her be. She's havin' fun.""Ah, yes. Please imprint more of your parental wisdom on me, Sawyer," Jack says in a whimsical voice."Oh, har, har. He's a comedian." Their banter has become far more amusing now as friends. All the insults and smartass remarks, but no ill will behind them. "So, should I expect everyone to know about my secret oasis by sundown?"Jack can't help but wonder how high the concern on that matter is for Sawyer. He understood the consequences, so why share if he didn't want anyone to find out? Maddie must mean a great deal to give up something so luxurious."No," Jack says with a grin. "Your secret is safe with me, Sawyer. I appreciate you doing this for Maddie. She handled things a lot better there."A flush of red hits Sawyer's cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck. Whenever Jack expresses his gratitude, Sawyer's spirits lift to new heights. Only a worthy action can merit such praise from the man. Sawyer clenches his jaw, shaking those warm, fuzzy feelings out. What the hell is wrong with him today?"So, what's the story behind that anyway? Why's she so afraid of water?" Sawyer asks, content to move the focus away from his generous deed.Jack releases a deep exhale, continuing to monitor Maddie on the path."Haylee's mother gifted her with that fear." Jack hopes to leave the issue there, but Sawyer's pending silence urges him on. "Haylee and her mother took her to the pool one afternoon. She never learned to swim, and Haylee planned to teach her. She left Maddie with her mother for a few seconds and came back to Maddie struggling to keep her head above water.""What! And the grandmother?""She was standing there watching. Apparently, she pushed her in, telling Haylee it's the only way she would learn." Frustration rises in Jack's chest. "You know that bullshit method some people use? Toss your kid into something and let fear and chaos teach them. Sink or swim." He scoffs at the notion. "Pathetic. More like an excuse not to be a parent.""I take it there's no love lost between you and your mother-in-law?"Jack turns, eyeing the blonde with a stern expression. For a moment, the aggression appears aimed at Sawyer until something else settles in his gaze. There's something much deeper to this narrative, a piece of the story Sawyer is missing."She's not my mother-in-law. That woman isn't anyone to Maddie or me. And..." Jack's nostrils slightly flare as he pauses, sensing the increase in anger. He takes a deep breath, countering the emotions brewing inside. "It's just... complicated. A lot of unpleasant history there.""Say no more, Doc." Sawyer raises his hands with a smirk. "I get complicated." Truthfully, he wants to hear more, but he isn't going to push a sensitive spot.Jack sighs and smiles with appreciation. "What about your parents?"The grin on Sawyer dissolves, the question echoing in his mind. Everything within him is ready to dodge the question, yet another part wants to let it out. They're on the same wavelength now, right? One where they can talk about personal experiences. Sawyer licks his lips, nervous as he peers at the ground."Well, they’re—”A yelp of pain catches their attention, and both men look ahead, seeing Maddie on the jungle floor in tears."Maddie!" Jack runs over with Sawyer close behind. The child holds her knee, sobbing as she rocks herself in place. "Hey, let me see." Jack kneels, attempting to remove her hands, only to face firm rejection. One might think she lost her leg, given the dramatic reaction. "Baby, calm down; let Daddy see."His second attempt isn't welcome, yet Maddie complies as Sawyer sits and wraps his burly arms around her. Blood seeps from the scrape on her knee, but it's nothing more than your average childhood blemish."Quite the tumble there, kid," Sawyer chuckles. "Ripped right through your jeans and everything."Tears stream Maddie's cheek as she gasps for air, trying to calm down. Two of the bravest people she knows are watching, and she wants to be brave too."It's okay, Monkey. It's not that deep." Jack smiles, running his hand in her hair. "Nothing Daddy can't fix." He kisses her tiny hand, picking her up bridal style before peering at Sawyer. "It's a long way back to the caves. I'm guessing you have supplies at your tent?"Sawyer smirks, beaming with pride while extending his arms towards the path. "After you, Doc."✧
Jack woke to a symphony of birds, the sun shining into his bedroom. He stretched, and the soft sheets brushed against his skin. Beside him, Haylee lay asleep with her back turned to him. The man rolled closer, pressing his body into her and kissing her bare skin. It earned him a soft moan as she came to life.
They had been attempting pregnancy for over three months now. At first, it was a dream for him, having non-stop sex. But when nothing took, it became a less spontaneous process. Haylee planned like crazy. She timed her ovulation cycles and changed everything from their diets to their sexual positions. Not that Jack minded. After all, he had the easy job, and sex was sex.
What he didn't expect was his body developing an agenda of its own. The longer they tried, the worse his hormones became. He felt like a teenager again. It drove him crazy.
Haylee turned to face him. "Good morning," she whispered.
Their lips met as Jack rolled on top, pinning her arms to the mattress. He pressed his lower body into her as they kissed. His need grew stronger with each passing second.
"Jack," Haylee moaned, biting her lip. "You know I don't start ovulating until tomorrow, which means no sex until then."
Jack pulled back, his eyes scanning the woman's face as he hovered. He could tell she was just as eager for something to happen.
"You're saying no, but your body is telling me a whole other story," Jack said, his lips lightly grazing hers.
"And even so..." She nuzzled their noses together. "The answer is still no."
"Come on," Jack said. "You're not going to send me to work like this, are you? All tense and wound up."
"No." Haylee kissed him. "Because you're going to go take a cold shower before you leave."
Jack groaned with profound disappointment because his hormones were worse today than they had ever been. Dropping his head into her shoulder, he released a large breath. Haylee ran her fingers through his thin hair and kissed his head.
"I’m sorry. One more day," she said as Jack got up and sulked towards the bathroom. "No funny business while you're in there, babe."
"Yeah, yeah," Jack responded, waving his hand as he left the room.
✧ The clock on Jack's office wall endlessly ticked as he examined some work papers. He couldn't stop thinking about Haylee, no corner in his mind safe from her image. The constant ticking made it worse; every flash of memory tangled with the noise. He closed his eyes, picturing Haylee's warm, soft skin. Tick. Her gorgeous dark hair surrounding her face. Tock. The sound of his name passing from her lips. Tick. Their bodies entangled with one another. Tock.
Jack seized the stapler from his desk, throwing it at the clock with quite some force. As it smashed into the wall, Christian entered the room in time to witness the items crash onto the floor. Jack didn't bother acknowledging the man, resting his forehead in his palms. His mind was lost in a sea of lustful demands.
"Everything okay?" Christian asked, closing the door. No reply came from his son, leaving no choice but to pry further. He knew Jack and Haylee were attempting to conceive; perhaps Haylee had grown upset with the little progress made. It seemed as good a guess as any. "You and Haylee doing alright?"
"Yes, Dad, everything is fine," Jack said with reluctance.
"Well, pardon my nosiness, but sure doesn't seem that way." He sat down in the chair opposite the desk. "This wouldn't have anything to do with you two trying to get pregnant, would it?"
"No, I'm just stressed out. I can't focus on anything except..." Jack stood up, turning away from his father. "Look, I don't want to talk about it."
Suddenly, Christian understood what was going on. He didn't need an explanation because it was clear now, written within his son's body language.
"This is about sex, isn't it?" Christian said with a thin smile. "Feeling overstimulated?"
"Dad!" Jack said, blushing profusely.
"Jack," he chuckled. "What you're going through is normal. A lot of men become hypersensitive to their partners when trying to conceive a child. It's instinct. Your body is reacting to its natural obligation."
"I know! But..." Jack can barely look at the man. "To a point where you can't focus? I mean, I think about Haylee all the time!"
"It can vary from person to person."
"I never got like this when Sarah wanted a baby!" Jack paced behind his desk, now unable to hold anything back. "So why now?"
"Well, you and Sarah weren't actively trying to get pregnant, Jack. There's a difference between knowing a woman wants a baby and actually trying to give her one."
Jack rolled his eyes, hating that Christian had an answer to everything. He preferred having the information without any outside help.
Chatter from the hall entered the room as the door opened again. Haylee entered, and both men greeted her with smiles. Jack longingly observed the woman. She wore a short yellow summer dress with a pair of cowboy boots. The outfit complimented her slim form, and his pulse picked up from staring.
"Haylee," Christian grinned, walking over to hug her. "Anyone tell you you're glowing?" He took her hand and spun her in a slow circle. "Glowing from head to toe."
Haylee chuckled, "Really? It must be this crazy summer heat."
"Or maybe something else?" Christian held open her arms, peering at her belly.
"I wish," she laughed, rubbing her stomach.
"Well," Christian said, looking between her and Jack. "I'll give you two some privacy."
He left the office, grinning ear to ear as Haylee shut the door. She leaned back, and Jack walked closer, hearing the door lock behind her. He stopped in place, swallowing hard as she raised her eyes to him.
"Please, please, tell me you started ovulating," Jack said, holding his breath.
Haylee stayed quiet for a few seconds, biting her lower lip. "I may have miscalculated my cycle."
"Thank God." Jack moved forward and pulled her into a feverish kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling at his need. She felt it too, needing him just as strong. Without warning, Jack lifted her from the ground, her legs securing his waist as he carried her to the couch.
✦ Jack patches Maddie up quickly enough once they reach Sawyer's humble abode, and afterward, Sawyer insists they join him for dinner. It's an offer Jack can't bring himself to decline, not when Maddie pleads for him to accept. So, while Sawyer and Maddie collect some fruit, Jack guts a pair of fish caught and shared by Gin a few hours prior. It's nothing special, but Sawyer livens the taste with a bit of pineapple juice squeezed over the fish as it cooks. The meat is tender and surprisingly moist as the combination of salty and sweet bursts among their taste buds. Alcohol is shared between the two men — despite Jack's protest to put it to better use — and Sawyer can't recall the last time he enjoyed himself this much.Twilight falls upon them, flooding the sky with stars as a light breeze sweeps through the camp. Sawyer stretches, getting more comfortable in front of the fire, while a few feet to his left, Jack sits with Maddie, now fast asleep in his arms. "Gotta admit, this place can be downright gorgeous," Sawyer says, looking at the stars. "You know, aside from the polar bears and that killing machine in the jungle." "Yeah," Jack chuckles. "It's something else." "I used to sit and watch the stars when I was younger." "In Los Angeles?" Jack asks, turning to him with a raised eyebrow. "Not the best city for stargazing." "No, I..." Sawyer's expression slips back to neutral, contemplating how much he should share. His past has always been his own; giving out any information feels wrong, no matter how insignificant. "I… grew up in Alabama and had a friend whose family owned a horse ranch. We would sneak out to the field almost every night to watch the sky." His lips rise in a grin again, snickering as the memory rolls like film in his mind. He hasn't thought about that in quite some time. "A friend? I didn't think you had any of those." Jack laughs half-heartedly, missing the quick, hurt grimace on Sawyer's face. "Well," he says, looking deep into the orange flames of the fire. "I had a friend. They're just a good-for-nothin' story now."Jack raises an eyebrow, questioning what exactly that means. He never pegged Sawyer as sentimental, but this subject has clearly hit him close to home, and Jack can't help but want to know more. "What… uh," Jack says, somewhat hesitant. "What happened?"The blonde's eyes veer off to the ocean, and he lets out an annoyed huff. It isn't significant enough to talk about. It's just another letdown from his past, yet his stomach stirs at Jack's voluntary request to know more. It's nice in some ways and alarming in others. He coughs uncomfortably, breaking his silence. "Let's focus on something else. Startin' to sound like a couple of women over here, swappin' sob stories." He chuckles at that, sipping alcohol from the small bottle. "Let's get some testosterone back in here. Talk about men things." Jack smiles, trying to control his laughter. "Men things?" "You know! Business, war…" A wild look takes over Sawyer's expression, and he gives the other man a charming smirk. "Sex." Jack's cheeks start to burn as soon as the word presents itself, turning a bright red shade within seconds. He looks flustered and caught off guard as his head sharply turns toward the blonde. Jack half expects Sawyer to break into a fit of laughter and admit he's messing with him, but Sawyer doesn't budge, leaving Jack to laugh the suggestion off himself. It only makes Sawyer double down, tilting his head ever so slightly with that signature smirk playing on his lips. "Sawyer," Jack says as his laugh dies out. "We're not going to have this conversation." "Ain't gotta be such a goody two shoes all the time, Doc! C'mon, what's the best sex you've ever had?" "No!" Jack laughs again, yet Sawyer hears the displeasure in his voice. "Alright, look, I'll go first." Sawyer peers towards the fire again, contemplating for a moment. Considering his many partners, it isn't the easiest question, but eventually, he recalls a dalliance worthy of the title. "Ah! It was 1998, and her name was Jane." "Wow," Jack mocks, "you remember her name and everything." "You wanna shut it? I'm tryin' to tell a damn good story!" Sawyer says before returning to his thoughts, gazing at the ground as if his memories are inscribed in the sand. "Now, like I was saying, her name was… Lily?" Jack bursts into laughter, shaking his head with the biggest grin Sawyer has ever seen on him. Whether he remembers her name or not doesn't matter much now, so Sawyer shrugs off his forgetfulness. "Anyway, she was hot as Hell, with a perfect body and a gorgeous smile, but more importantly, she was... bendy." Sawyer can't help but chuckle at the thought. "If you know what I mean." Jack shifts his gaze away from Sawyer and proceeds to half-roll his eyes at the man's all too guy-like wording. It doesn't bother him per se; it's just typical for someone like Sawyer. "One particular spontaneous night, she led me to the roof of her apartment, and I folded her in ways you couldn't imagine. It was a damn good night." "So the best sex you've ever had was with a woman you hardly knew on top of a dirty roof?" Jack asks, attempting not to sound too judgmental, yet his disappointment is evident enough to Sawyer. "It's 'bout the thrill, Doc! You oughta try it. Coulda gotten caught doin' things that'd have you blushing for three days straight!" "Look, I've been adventurous. I just prefer to know the girl for more than two days." "Alright! Good! This is good!" Sawyer says with enthusiasm. "So tell me then, what's the best sex you've ever had?" Sawyer leans forward, his eyes glinting with endless interest, and Jack curses himself for engaging in the conversation. They're treading on a delicate subject, one Jack would rather keep private. Honestly, his sex life had always been quite tame until he met Haylee. She wasn't afraid to explore that part of their relationship and managed to bring out his wild side. The things they explored were undoubtedly invigorating, but he always preferred the more intimate moments over the crazy ones. Jack remains silent, holding his sleeping daughter close to his chest, feeling vulnerable and exposed. Sawyer's unwavering gaze only adds to his unease. "Thinkin' 'bout your baby mama, huh?" Sawyer asks, making Jack squirm even more. "C'mon, let's hear it. Surely, you two had some hot and heavy moments." "We did, but..." Jack's voice trails off as he tries to find the right words to explain. "That wasn't… I mean, we…" He pauses again, hesitating to continue. His frustration is unmistakable as he lets out a deep sigh and rubs the back of his neck. " Yeah? " Sawyer says, urging him to speak up. Jack's hand moves from the back of his neck to his forehead, giving up on finding the right words. "It's when we… conceived Maddie."Sawyer can't help but smirk as he processes the unbelievably wholesome answer. While it's not what he expected to hear, he isn't entirely surprised either. Jack is undoubtedly a family man, and given Sawyer's own affection for Maddie, he can't blame Jack for picking her conception of all moments. Still, it sounds like an answer straight out of an after-school special. "That's..." Sawyer raises the small alcoholic beverage to his lips and chuckles. "Pretty cliche, Doc." He lightly coughs as he downs the liquid, choking on his amusement, which Jack finds a bit excessive. "Well, some of us are okay with cliche, Sawyer," Jack says with unwavering confidence. "I wouldn't trade that moment for anything." Sawyer's initial disinterest is replaced with sincere curiosity, and he's always had a weak spot for curing his curiosity. "Okay, I'll bite. Go on." Jack's eyes shift upwards, meeting Sawyer's curious gaze. "Well." Jack clears his throat, attempting to gather his thoughts. Sawyer is unrelenting with his questions tonight, which is almost worrisome given his usual lack of interest in anyone but himself. "I mean, it wasn't about the sex, you know? Don't get me wrong! The sex was great! Amazing even! But..." Jack sighs deeply, unsure how to explain why that moment was so unique compared to all the rest. It's like explaining the intricacies of procreation to a small child, a subject that requires just the right words and tone to convey its true meaning. "It's what that moment meant to Haylee. I could feel the weight of responsibility it put on me. It's as if my whole body suddenly realized its own natural obligation. We became one. We needed each other to do something intimate, creating something beautiful... to create..." His eyes drift toward the flames ahead, watching them dance and flicker in the gentle breeze. "Life."Sawyer is at a loss for words for once. He swallows hard, suddenly very aware of the dryness in his mouth. Jack may not know what it's like to sleep around with a string of women, sometimes more than one at a time — he chuckles at that thought — but the man sure has him beat when it comes to intimacy and a meaningful connection. He makes it sound beautiful; Sawyer might even feel somewhat jealous. Jack playfully imitates Sawyer's earlier comment, "You oughta try it sometime." "Me, a father?" Sawyer responds with a hearty chuckle. "Can you even imagine? Hell might actually freeze over, Doc." Jack's demeanor turns serious, and Sawyer watches the subtle modifications on his face, like the slight crease between his brows and the way his lips press together before he speaks again. "You're better at it than you think, Sawyer."As Sawyer shifts uncomfortably, he can feel the grains of sand sink beneath him, the ground becoming increasingly less accommodating. He can't help but doubt Jack's comment, no matter how friendly they've become in the past few days. Sawyer's fondness for Maddie hardly qualifies him as father material, and he suspects that's all Jack's opinion is based on. "Damn," Sawyer chuckles, shaking his head. "You just can't help yourself, can you?" "What?" Jack says with a raised eyebrow. "This was supposed to be a fun conversation. You're gettin' all sentimental again." A grin spreads across Jack's face, causing his eyes to crinkle at the corners. "I guess not."✧
Jack's back shifted against the couch as Haylee rode atop of him. Every move she made drove a heavy sensation throughout his body. Her dress had fallen to her waist, leaving her upper half exposed while Jack's bottoms now resided around his ankles. It left both of them vulnerable, kissing and embracing one another with driven need.
Haylee kept a steady pace, moving Jack in and out with grace despite the raging hormones. Because as heated and chaotic as it was, they also craved intimacy. They gazed into each other's eyes, their minds now losing track of who is who in their collision. Jack's neck stretched forward to kiss the woman's lips. She met him halfway, hitting his mouth with force due to their fast, erratic movements. Her lips moved away as quickly as they had come, and Jack's head fell onto the back of the couch. His gut tightened at a particularly pleasurable thrust, making him groan in bliss. Holding his breath, Jack counted backward from ten to control his release. He couldn't finish, not until she's there with him.
However, it's a struggle to the finish line, all his senses wide awake. Haylee's intoxicating moans hypnotized him. Her soft and moist skin slid against his with ease. The sight of her body grinding on top of him guaranteed a memory he wouldn't soon forget. But what got him going most was knowing what she needed. She wanted a baby. And not just any baby; his baby. That minor fact made Jack an essential piece of the puzzle, and he wasn't about to disappoint her.
"You close, babe?" Jack asked in lengthy breaths. "Cause I'm reaching the point of no return here."
Haylee didn't answer but chuckled while pushing their noses together. Her movements picked up momentum, and he took sharp breaths to keep himself from coming. Jack gripped her hips in protest, evening out the pace. Something mischievous glistened in her eyes, smirking as they fought for command. Once Jack caught on to her teasing, he moved his focus to what he could control. He steadied her hips and thrust himself upward in slow but strong strides. The action received an immediate response. Haylee's eyes shut, deep moans exiting her mouth. She clutched his shoulders, pushing away from the overwhelming pleasure eroding inside. But Jack's fingers pressed deep into her skin, holding her captive.
Each thrust hit that sweet spot, bringing Haylee's body up to speed. Her breathing grew unsteady, coiling around the man's neck.
"Now, Jack," she said in a soft voice.
Jack didn't waste any time, picking her up to push onto the floor. He held her legs back, and his motions quickened. She's close to the edge now; Jack can tell based on her warmth tightening around him. A few more deep thrusts, and Jack stilled, groaning into Haylee's neck as he released inside her. The woman's orgasm followed shortly after him, both of them panting for oxygen.
Seconds passed until Jack shifted to pull out, but Haylee had other plans. Her legs clutched the man's waist to push him back inside, keeping him in place.
"Stay," she whispered, her eyes glazed with pleasure.
"Stay?" Jack smiled before leaning in to kiss her.
He rested her hips on his thighs, making sure his seed didn't slip in the wrong direction. Tedious work making a baby was. As Jack ran his hand through her hair, Haylee smiled, tears forming in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked, wiping the tears away.
"Nothing," Haylee said, yet her expression said otherwise. "I just have a feeling this is it. I think we made a baby, Jack."
Fear wasn't what Haylee expected to see on Jack's face, but that's precisely what she got. All these months of trying, Jack never stop to imagine the idea of it coming true. It would be real, and he still wasn't ready for what fatherhood meant.
"You're still okay with this, right?" Haylee asked, worried about his response.
Snapping out of his trance, Jack gave her a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, of course, Haylee."
It's a lie, and not a good one, at that. Haylee saw through the act yet remained silent. She could only hope he would find a way to accept what may now be in motion.
✦A high pitch scream pulls Jack from his sleep, and he shoots up in a delirious haze. Maddie awakens at his side, no longer able to snuggle close. It's late. Two, maybe three in the morning. His brain doesn't have time to reboot, rushing over to a group of people surrounding a grief-stricken Claire."Someone attacked her!" Charlie exclaims."What?" Jack peers at him, disoriented and concerned."Jack!" Claire launches forward, pushing past Charlie to bury herself in Jack's arms. It wakes him up, her body vigorously shaking in his grasp."It's okay, calm down," Jack says, Maddie appearing by his side with wide, terror-filled eyes. "What happened?""He held me down and... and..." Claire struggles to produce words, adrenaline pumping in her ears."Which way did he go?" Charlie asks, jealousy in his eyes."I don't know! I couldn't see him; he just ran away.""We should fan out and check the surrounding caves," Charlie says, scanning the area as if the culprit will be nearby.Jack immediately protests, "Charlie, hold on! Don't—""Hurley, come on, let's go!" Charlie brushes past Jack's shoulder with some aggression, ignoring his commands.An amateur search for a dangerous individual doesn't sit well with Jack, not with such little information. Yet, the majority of people appear content to run headfirst into danger.Maddie hugs Claire's lower half, watching the woman cry in her father's arms. She isn't sure what to think, fearing the situation yet wanting to support Claire in whatever small way she can."Did you get a look at him at all?" Micheal asks as he steps closer to them.Claire sways her head. "No, it was dark; I couldn't see him.""Where did this happen?" Jack says, pulling her back to view him."It was here! I was sleeping, and I woke up and... he was trying to hurt my baby!" She cries, fear of that moment still fresh in her mind. "He had this thing like a needle, and he stabbed me with it!" Claire lifts her shirt, exposing her stomach. Despite her convincing story, Jack doesn't see a needle mark. "He was trying to hurt my baby!""Alright," Jack says in a soft voice, re-wrapping his arms around her as she sobs in his shirt. "It's okay. You're safe now."Maddie takes a deep breath, staring into the distance. Her eyes fall upon Ethan as he walks over to hand Jack a bottle of water. No emotions play on his expression, and Maddie's gut gets a strange alarming sensation."Here drink some water, Claire," Jack says, removing the lid of the bottle.Ethan locks eyes with Maddie, and his apathy turns to a smile. It scares her to the core, hiding in Claire's side. Something unusual is going on; she can sense it.✦Everyone has set out to find Claire's attacker, but Jack finds himself in the caves, debating his absence with Maddie. She fastens her arms around his neck as he holds her, the man bargaining for release. If anything happens during the search, he would rather witness it himself than hear about it after the fact."Maddie, it's not like I'm leaving you alone. Gin and Sun are going to watch you. You trust them, right?" Jack asks. "I won't be gone long."A groan vibrates out of the small child as she tightens her grip. She trusts Gin and Sun, but not to look after her the same way he will. Most certainly not with Ethan lurking around. Can he be the one who caused all this trouble? She can't say for sure, yet she knows that everyone is blind to his strange presence. No one seems to notice the odd ways of that man, if they even notice him at all."This is important, sweetie. If someone is hurting people, we have to find them," Jack says, his voice growing somewhat stern.Maddie doesn't give a response. Convincing as his words are, her fear remains strong. Jack sighs, almost giving up on the whole situation when an idea comes to mind."What about Sawyer? Would you feel safe with him?"Maddie's eyes open, wondering why she didn't think of that idea first. It's perfect. Sawyer will keep her safe the way her father does. No one, not even Ethan, will fool him. She nods, continuing to cling as close as possible."Yeah? That would be okay?" Jack laughs. It never ceases to amaze him how close the two have grown in such a short time. "Alright, we'll go to Sawyer then."✦Amongst a collection of items in his tent, Sawyer sleeps soundly on the ground, unaware of the chaos that's happened. Of course, almost everyone at the beach is oblivious to the situation at the caves."Sawyer," Jack whispers, standing over the blonde with Maddie asleep in his arms.Sawyer's eyes peek open as Jack nudges him with his boot. He moans at the unwelcome action, running his fingers through his hair."Time is it?" Sawyer groans.Jack chuckles and gives him a sympathetic stare. "About three in the morning.""Three in the mornin'! This better be good, Doc.""Claire got attacked at the caves."Sawyer sits up at those words, now aware Maddie is in Jack's arms. It's a relief to know she is safe; that's the reason he cares most. Not that he has any ill will towards Claire or the rest of them. They simply aren't his responsibility. Yet he hopes no harm has come to anyone. He stands, and their sights level with one another."She okay? What happened?""We don't know who did it. Claire was asleep, and they held her down, put a needle in her stomach." Jack sighs. "Truthfully, the details are still unclear at this point. We got people out searching the perimeters. I was going to help, but Maddie refuses to stay with anyone leftover at the caves." Sawyer raises his brow, the conclusion coming to him slower than Jack anticipates. "She wants to be with you, Sawyer. You're the only other person she feels safe around. Do you mind watching her?"Pride simmers inside Sawyer's chest, and a smile makes its way to his cheeks. Even if Maddie has shown faith in him many times, it still surprises and honors him to receive another dose of her trust."Yeah, course." He stretches his arms forward.With a grin, Jack whispers in Maddie's ear, "Wake up, Monkey. Look who's here."Maddie moans, rubbing her eyes to get a better view of things. The blurred figure before them turns into Sawyer, and she can't reach out to him fast enough."Hey there, Baby Girl," Sawyer says as he pulls her into his arms. She fastens around his neck, urging him to hold her tight. "Nobody's gonna get you here."He kisses her forehead, placing his palm in her hair. Jack hands him a half-filled backpack."I might not be back until later in the morning, so I packed a few necessities. Will you be okay until then?" Jack asks as Sawyer takes the pack from him."Ain't my first rodeo, Doc. I got this," Sawyer jests with a broad smirk.Jack shakes his head and slightly grins. He should have seen the smartass response coming. The moment was getting too tender, and that's how Sawyer deflects."Thanks, Sawyer. I appreciate it." Jack moves forward, touching Maddie on the back. "I'll be back later, sweetheart."He kisses her cheek and turns to leave. Only then does it occur to Sawyer what Jack is going out to do. He might get hurt, or worse."Jack!" Sawyer's voice catches in his throat, and Jack peers back with uncertainty. Silence lingers in the air for a moment, nothing but the ocean waves in their ears. "Be careful."It's unexpected, and Jack stands speechless. He never imagined Sawyer worrying about his safety. Their relationship is strange like that, shifting between tolerance and friendship."I'll come back, Sawyer," Jack says without an ounce of doubt in his words.✦It's an uneventful night aside from the excitement at the caves. Yet nothing else comes up about the topic throughout the night. All Sawyer can do is sit and wait with Maddie so close she might as well be attached. What's worse is the fear he senses in her body language. Every person who stops by startles her; every sound makes her tremble. Sawyer wonders if she is waiting for someone specific. He can't explain the idea behind that notion, but he's sure something isn't right.Alas, the more anxious she grows, the more protective he becomes. Not a soul will harm her, not on his watch.Later that night, Sawyer lays the child on the sand, sliding a pillow under her head and tucking her into a blanket. She nestles into the ground, making his heart swell. He leans in and kisses the side of her head."I'll be right back, Baby Girl," he whispers, standing to leave.He needs some air. Besides, the tent is open enough for him to keep an eye on her from afar, and he desperately craves a smoke. His nerves can't handle the tension any longer. A little ways away from the tent, he pries open a box of cigarettes, sighing at the sight of the last one left."Damn it."He sways his head, staring up at the ocean before lighting up the lone bud. Nicotine travels through his body, instantly curing his stress. Letting out a puff of smoke, he tries to imagine himself quitting—as if he has a choice. It's for the best, but he can't deny how much he'll miss it.From the corner of his eye, he sees a figure standing by the tent. He does a double-take, his anxiety returning in full force.A dark-haired man looms over Maddie as she sleeps. Maybe it's Jack? No, his hair is much longer than Jack's. Fire ignites inside Sawyer's gut as he tosses his cigarette aside, speeding towards the tent."Hey!" Sawyer says in a calm yet aggressive tone.He blocks Maddie from the visitor's sight, remembering how he was once the one hovering, and Jack had intervened. Now that Sawyer's on the other end, he gives Jack credit for not beating the shit out of him, given that's what he wants to do."Oh, Sawyer! You scared me," the man chuckles, placing his hand on his startled heart. But Sawyer doesn't buy the act. "Do I know you?" Sawyer asks.The man's chuckling persists, his amusement pushing Sawyer closer to the edge."I guess not." He smiles. "I'm Ethan. I saw Maddie over here alone and got worried. Some guy on the loose attacking people, you know?""No, you don't say!"Ethan frowns with a nod, acting as if he's unaware of Sawyer's sarcasm. That's what Sawyer chooses to believe anyway because something is off about this man."Yeah, I didn't think her being out here alone was a good idea.""Good thing she ain't alone," Sawyer says, smooth and unintimidated. "So listen, Eric.""Ethan.""I got Maddie taken care of, so you best get back to whatever it is you were doin'."An eerie stillness hangs between them, neither backing down. Sawyer half expects the worst until Ethan finally smiles, nodding at his request."Okay. Good talking to you, Sawyer," he says before walking off unbothered.It's very suspicious, creepy even. Sawyer watches him leave, disgust invading his body. He lies on the ground, brushing Maddie's hair aside. She shifts, snuggling to his warm body, and they both drift off to sleep.✦Morning soon overcomes the darkness, bringing peace of mind back to everyone. The threat still lingers, but there are fewer places to hide now. That's what naive civilians would assume; Sawyer knows better. It's easy to hide from unsuspecting victims, and pretend you're one of them. He learned the trade well as a con man.Jack, Sawyer, and Charlie travel to a secluded area on the beach, hoping to escape eavesdroppers."I'm not sure anything happened," Jack says, referring to Claire's attack."Wait, what!" Charlie erupts, ready to put Jack down before even hearing him out."Claire said her attacker tried to inject her with something, but there wasn't a mark on her stomach. She wakes up screaming two nights in a row; the first time she was sleepwalking.""You think she's making this up? She was terrified, man!""She said he was trying to hurt her baby! Why would someone do that now with all of us sleeping twenty feet away?""So you're saying she's lying?""No! Pregnant women have extremely lucid—""Lucid?" Charlie mockingly says."These are textbook anxiety nightmares!" Jack answers as if it will convince him."Right. You know everything that's going on with everyone.""Alright, Chief!" Sawyer steps in, imagining how long this bickering might continue if he doesn't. "No need to get defensive. The man has a right to his opinion." Charlie looks towards the ground, scoffing at his torn up shoes. "So, what's the plan then, Doc?""Claire's due in a little more than a week, maybe two." Jack sighs, worrying about that more than anything else. "But if she stays stressed out like this or has another panic attack, it could trigger an early labor." He motions towards the beach. "And out here with no instruments, no monitors, no anesthetic... that would not be good."They all stand quiet, contemplating the troubles ahead."It's not all in her head," Charlie says before storming off, leaving little doubt about his frustration aimed at the good doctor.Jack frowns, slightly rolling his eyes in defeat. He doesn't think Claire is crazy, not even a little. Yet Charlie makes it sound like that, and it hurts. More vicious accusations hurled at him for merely being a realist."Relax, Doc," Sawyer says, seeing the pain in Jack's expression. "He trusts you; they all do. This ain't about that.""Really?" Annoyance hints in Jack's unstable laughter. "You want to enlighten me, Sawyer?""Ain't it obvious?" Sawyer asks. "Bon Jovi over there has a thing for Preggers." Jack raises his eyebrows, unable to see how that has anything to do with him. "C'mon! You're Claire's go-to guy, Jack. He's jealous!""Why? Because we're friends?""A lot more juicer theories goin' around than that, Doc.""You mean... people think we're..." Jack hesitates, hoping Sawyer will deny what he's about to say. "They think we're a thing?""Yep," Sawyer says, getting far too much amusement from Jack's newfound realization. "People talk when they're bored. Ain’t just Claire either. Few other rumors are floatin' around, and I gotta admit, curious if—""It's not true, Sawyer! Nothing is going on between Claire and me. We're friends. There's nothing going on with me and anyone! I would appreciate you correcting anybody who says otherwise. The last thing I need is Maddie overhearing something like that.""Alright! No need to get all worked up," Sawyer says with a smirk.They head towards the tent at a slow pace. Jack informs him about Hurley's idea to start a census. After some debate, he convinces him to give Hurley the plane manifest to help make the process easier. It can't hurt to know who is who within the group."How did Maddie do?" Jack asks as they stop in front of the tent, seeing Maddie is still asleep."Poor kid was up and down all night," Sawyer says, sighing. "She's pretty worked up over everything.""Not surprising," Jack says. "And something tells me she's not going to let this go either."Sawyer replays the events of the night in his mind. He debates if saying anything is wise, especially if Jack's not looking for a suspect."How well do you know that Edward guy?""Edward?" Jack chuckles. "You mean Ethan?""You know him or not?""Why?""Because last night I saw him watchin' Maddie sleep like some kind of creep."Jack tries hard to contain his grin. "Huh... sounds like someone else I know, Sawyer.""I'm serious, Jack! Wasn't anything innocent about it! Somethin' ain't right.""Look, Sawyer, I've talked to him. He's harmless, actually, he's a doctor too.""And yet you were takin' care of the Marshal on your own! Why didn't he say anything from the start?""He lost his wife and child during labor and doesn't practice anymore. Nothing unusual about that. Sure, he's a little awkward, but nothing more. You really think he's the one behind all this?""I don't know! Maybe."Sawyer grimaces, turning his back on Jack to stare into the horizon. Perhaps paranoia is getting to him, but his instincts say otherwise. He looks over, watching the man pick Maddie up. She lays her head on Jack's shoulder, too tired to even acknowledge him."Thanks for watching her, Sawyer. And don't worry. Everything is fine."Before Jack can leave, Sawyer grabs his shoulder, moving in front of him."You got a lot on your plate, Doc. Maybe you should just leave Maddie with me for now.""If everyone sees Maddie out here, it'll only make them doubt the safety of the caves. I still think it's the safest place for us right now.""Then let me come with you!" Sawyer says, willing to do anything to stay by Maddie's side."No!" Jack says, and Sawyer furrows his brow in confusion. "On the off chance that I am wrong, I need you here to keep an eye on things. You're the only person I can fully trust out here."Sawyer's mouth slightly drops. "You... trust me?"Jack doesn't understand his shock until he remembers the strange relationship the two of them share. If Sawyer said the same, he would more than likely be shocked too."Yeah, Sawyer. I trust you." He pats the blonde's shoulder with a smile. "Don't give Hurley any trouble when he stops by later!" he says, leaving Sawyer with a million emotions to sort through.✧
After a hard day at work, Jack entered his home late in the night. Lucky for him, not that late, finding Haylee in the kitchen preparing dinner. She weakly smiled at him, keeping most of her attention on her task.
"Hey, sweetie," Haylee said.
She didn't sound cheerful, more tired, maybe even sad. In fact, she hadn't seemed herself for a couple of weeks now. Jack walked over and kissed her forehead, opening the fridge to pull out a beer. He leaned against the counter, watching her shred some lettuce.
"You okay?" Jack asked.
"Yeah..." she answered, giving him a half-hearted smile. "How was work? Another hard day?"
Jack sighed while rubbing his forehead. "People are so demanding sometimes."
The past couple of weeks at work were a challenge. Long grueling hours, meeting patient after patient; problem after problem. Helping others always felt right to Jack, and being a doctor wasn't the worst job in the world. But sometimes, he wondered what his life might look like if he had pursued his dreams. He took a sip of his drink and continued to complain about work to Haylee. The woman listened, but she appeared distant.
"And then, of course, my dad showed up, trying to tell me how to do my job. He can be so infuriating sometimes, and he still treats me like I'm ten. Saint Christian and his—"
"Jack, I'm pregnant," Haylee said, stopping everything as she turned to face him. Jack went silent, lost in her announcement. He placed his drink on the counter, speechless. "I've known for about two weeks now. I kept trying to find the right time to tell you, but lately, there's never a good time. So..." She gripped her stomach, tears forming in her eyes. "We're going to have a baby."
No thoughts entered or left Jack's conscience as he stood frozen in place. He's stuck in time, hearing those two words on repeat. But there would be hell to pay if he didn't say anything soon, so he uttered the first thought that came to mind.
"That's..." he cleared his throat, "good."
Haylee's glow of happiness disappeared within seconds of him speaking. They stood there awkwardly, Jack noticing the tremble in her stance.
"That's good?" she said, staring at him in disbelief.
Plenty of times before, Jack had been a complete idiot, but this moment took the grand prize. What the hell was he thinking? Even saying nothing would have been a better response. Haylee shook her head, leaving the kitchen to walk upstairs. Jack pushed his face into his palms, groaning at his stupidity before hurrying after her. He entered his and Haylee's room, finding the woman crying on the bed.
"Haylee..."
"You hate our baby," she cried as Jack crawled on the bed, sitting behind her.
"Haylee," Jack chuckled at her extreme statement. "No, I don't."
"Yes, you do! You're going to resent our child because you never really wanted this, Jack!"
"You don't think that sounds a tiny bit dramatic?" Jack asked, placing one hand in front of her body and leaning forward for a better view. Her face was red and wet, halfway buried in the pillows.
"No, I don't! We had a problem with this before! It even broke us apart at one point! Do you not remember that?"
Jack sighed, recalling that time very well. "Yeah, I remember."
"But what's worse is I gave you an out, Jack! I told you we didn't have to do this! So why the hell would you lie to me again when you weren't ready?"
Jack said nothing because he genuinely had no answers. He figured by now he would have been okay with this. But something inside wouldn't let go of that underlying fear. Five minutes passed as Jack sat listening to Haylee sob. His thoughts wander, searching for a way to make the situation better.
"Why do you want this with me, Haylee?"
Haylee turned and stared at him with dismay. "What?"
"When we decided to go ahead with this, you said, as much as you wanted a baby, you only wanted one with me. Why?"
The woman rolled onto her back, looking into his eyes while reaching up to stroke his cheek.
"Why?" She half-smiled, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Jack, because I love you; I want us to have a family."
It's such a pure answer, one that Jack still couldn't understand. All his life, he fell short of what everyone else wanted him to be. And now that he had someone who accepted him, his brain kept finding reasons to believe it wasn't true. He placed his hand on her stomach, staring at it with pain in his eyes.
"I don't know how to believe that. I'll mess this up somehow, Haylee, like I always do." He sighed, tears now swelling up in his eyes. "It's not our baby I hate." He swallowed hard, holding back the emotional pain. "It's me."
"Jack, you have to stop doing this to yourself," Haylee whispered, placing her hand on top of his. "Because you are going to mess this up."
Jack raised an eyebrow, a small laugh breaking through the sadness. "You should be a therapist with that kind of talk."
"No," Haylee laughed, tightening her grip on his hand. "We're both going to mess this up, Jack. That's what it means to be human. You think you need to be perfect, but you don't. I don't want you to be perfect. I just want you to do your best."
The frown on Jack's lips soon faded, taking her words to heart. They diminished his loathing thoughts, for the time being. He was too hard on himself; maybe he could do this if he gave it a chance.
"There's really someone in there, huh?" Jack asked, peering at her stomach.
She smiled and slowly nodded. "Afraid so."
Jack lifted her shirt, exposing her belly to trace his fingertips across the surface of her skin. Somewhere below the surface, his child was in there, growing. That in itself was a miracle. He leaned down, kissing the woman's abdomen.
"I know you can't hear me yet," Jack said in a hushed voice, "but I can't wait to meet you, little one."
✦Making it back to the caves, Jack searches the medicine, looking for something specific. A sedative, to be exact. He doesn't need anything too powerful, just enough to settle Claire's state of mind. Luck favors him as he discovers a mild drug to do the trick. Now onto the next issue, convincing her to take it.He sees Claire sitting in the middle of the caves, Maddie at her side as the woman writes in a diary."Claire," Jack says, kneeling in front of them."Did you find him?"He sighs, shaking his head. "No."Her skin is pale, eyes dark and feeble from the lack of sleep. She looks traumatized, losing stability every minute her attacker remains unfound.Jack grins at Maddie, who is clinging to Claire's arm. "I see you're in good company.""What if he comes back?" Claire asks, dodging his distraction.There's no other choice at this point. Jack has to be blunt about his thoughts. Claire is losing her grip on reality, and no amount of sugar-coating can save her from that."Claire, this situation we're in, the crash; that no one is coming, it can mess with your head a little. Maybe make you see things that aren't actually there," Jack says, striving to come off gentle. "Now, I know it feels very real.""I..." Claire murmurs, peering at the ground. "I don't understand."It's hard enough to say all this to Claire, but Maddie's presence increases the difficulty. She stares at her father, appearing as confused and upset as Claire. Jack licks his lips, and a hint of discomfort shows in his posture."Look, your baby is coming. Soon," he says with sympathy. "I can't imagine how scary that must be, but the more upset you are, the more dangerous it is for you and the baby." Jack shows the bottle of pills to her, opening them. "I want you to take these.""What are they?" Claire asks, caution in her soft voice."It's a sedative. Very mild; commonly used in situations like yours. It won't harm the baby. I promise." He offers the pills, and her concern turns into a glare."You don't believe me.""Claire...""You think I'm making this up? I get attacked, and you want to give me sleeping pills? I thought I could trust you, Jack!"She grabs her bag and shoves a few items inside. The quick movements startle Maddie, watching the woman's anger grow."They're not sleeping pills, Claire, and you can trust me! I wouldn't suggest this if it weren't in your best interest.""You're like everyone else!" Claire says as she stands up. "I'm leaving!""What? No!" Jack says, grabbing her arm to stop her."It was safe at the beach. It's not safe here."Maddie gawks in shock as Claire pulls away from her father. Once again, she has little context to help explain what's going on. People are usually grateful for her father's medical remedies."Don't do this, Claire! You need to think about the baby!""Don't talk to me about the baby!" Claire says, her pale face turning a light shade of red. "I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do!""Please!""Let go of me."She pulls out of his grip, walking away with haste. Charlie shows up in time for the show, and she storms past him."You okay?" Charlie asks, getting no reply. He spots Jack on the other end of her trail and stomps over, rage pouring out of him. "What the hell did you say?""I tried to—""What? Convince her she's a loon?""No!""She trusts you more than anyone here! And you..." Anger grows in Charlie's motions. "You can't even believe her when she needs it most?""Will you listen—""What's wrong with you!" Charlie fires a few insults at the man, unable to control his jealous outrage."Charlie! Nothing is going on between Claire and me!" Jack finally spits out, stunning Charlie into silence."What?""Look, man," Jack sighs, rubbing a palm over his head. "I get it. You like her and think we're..." He tries to find the right words to explain. "But we're not anything. Claire is like... like a sister to me, and we're close because she's fond of Maddie."Charlie appears dumbfounded by the man's words. All the same, it's a relief to hear."Me and her," Charlie says, staring at the earth. "We got close, you know? But she always talks about you and Maddie; how much you both mean to her. Plus, all the rumors I've heard. I thought..."Jack frowns, and a large dose of guilt invades his body. So much for all the confidence in his plan. Claire needed a friend, someone to make her feel safe. He had treated her like another patient."Well, I doubt our friendship will be a problem for you now," Jack says in defeat.Charlie grimaces, earning a heaping dose of guilt himself. "No, give her some time, Jack. She will—""Jack!" A frantic Sayid limps his way over to the doctor."Sayid!"Gasps and whispers bounce among the cave walls at Sayid's unexpected return. Jack and Charlie catch the weak soldier before he collapses from his long journey. They help him over to the medical supplies, a group of people surrounding them."I found her! The French woman!" Sayid says, out of breath.Jack hands him some water, and Sayid gulps down as much as possible. The wound on his leg calls to Jack, and he rips the fabric of Sayid's pants to get a better view. The soldier had half hazardously tended to it, enough to keep himself from bleeding out. As Jack studies the injury, Sayid grabs his arms, gaining the man's attention."We're not alone."✦Claire takes long, heavy strides on the path to the beach. Bitterness fuels each step, so strong, she's sure even the baby can tell something's off. But this disappointment is a common occurrence. The people she needs the most are usually the ones to let her down the hardest. She thought Jack would differ from the rest.As she continues on the trail, she hears another pair of footsteps coming from the jungle. She studies the bushes, anxiety hitting her chest."Hello?" she says, looking in every direction.Maddie appears from the brush, and Claire lets out a sigh of relief. She steps back as Maddie comes closer, keeping distance between them."You shouldn't be out here, Maddie!" Claire says with frustration. "Go back to the caves."Her words come off cold, despite that being her intention, and Maddie's eyes get moist. An awful feeling settles in Claire's gut, seeing the doubt in the girl's expression."I'm..." she exhales, rubbing her forehead. "I'm sorry, Maddie. I didn't mean it like that."She places her bag down and sits on the jungle floor. Everything has changed overnight, changed into a mess of chaos. Maddie moves forward, slow and cautious. Her small palm touches Claire's shoulder in comfort. Once Maddie sees her smile, she goes to the large bag and pulls out the woman's diary. Writing a small message, Maddie hands it to Claire."My daddy wants to help," Claire reads aloud. She peers back at Maddie, nothing but innocence in her angelic features. "He thinks I'm sick, Maddie. That whoever attacked me isn't real." The woman frowns, now doubting her sanity. "He doesn't believe me."Maddie waits for a moment, pondering her words before scribbling another message."I..." Claire grins at the ink written on the page, tears forming from its message. "I believe you," she whispers, hardly able to control her emotions. "You do?"Maddie nods without hesitation because, unlike her father, she knows things aren't always as they appear. And more than that, she senses trouble ahead. That's why she chased after Claire in the first place. It's not safe out in the jungle alone. Claire tugs the child into a hug, and they remain there for some time."I'm guessing you want me to go back with you, huh?" Claire chuckles, sliding her diary back into her bag.Maddie nods again, taking the woman's hand as they stand. Before either of them take a step, the bushes rattle, Ethan coming into view."Hello there.""Ethan?" Claire says as Maddie hides behind her leg. "What are you doing out here?"He doesn't answer, only stares at her expressionless. It's an awkward situation, the kind riddled with bad vibes. Claire's breathing grows erratic, recognizing none of this as a coincidence. He sought them out, waiting for the right moment to strike. And after all his precise planning, he has finally succeeded.✦"Jack!" Hurley yells, making his way through the crowd that's watching Jack mend Sayid. "We got a problem."Imagine that, another problem. Jack continues to heal the soldier, hardly listening to Hurley ramble. Enough excitement has plagued him for one day; he needs a break."The manifest, Jack! The census! Names of everyone who survived, all forty-six of us.""What about it?" Jack asks, holding back his impatience."I interviewed everyone here and at the beach. I got their names.""Yeah, I got that, Hurley. What's the problem?""Someone..." Hurley grows annoyed at Jack's lack of attention. "Jack!" The doctor stops what he's doing and peers at Hurley, his expression displaying worry. "One of them isn't on the manifest. He wasn't on the plane."No emotion shows in Jack's expression. His brain has difficulty understanding how the information given is even possible. A variety of explanations cross his mind, and it isn't long before something connects. Sayid said they aren't alone. Anxiety sparks in Jack's chest, now recalling his and Sawyer's conversation on the beach. No, it can't be true."Ethan?" Jack asks, a tremble in his voice."Yeah..." Hurley says, looking confused. "How did you know?"Jack ignores his question, scanning the caves for Maddie instead. "Where's Maddie?" Everyone remains silent, glancing around the caves. "Where's Maddie!""She must have gone after Claire," Locke answers.Jack's mouth drops open, and his surroundings become distant. He can hear Kate and Hurley's voices arguing over the information, but it's all muffled. He stands up, his head spinning as he takes a few steps forward. Locke blocks his path, grabbing his shoulder to keep him steady. He sees Locke's mouth moving, speaking to him, but no words come out. An overwhelming sense of dread fills his lungs. Without any proof, he already knows what's happened. He can feel it. Ethan has kidnapped his baby.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Shrouds of green, brown, and more green; that's all Jack sees while racing through the jungle with Locke close on his heels. Everything else in that moment is a blur, nothing but Maddie on his mind. His heart burns, aching in his chest, and his mouth has gone dry from the excessive panting. The tremble of his skin and aching muscles are all fair signs of fatigue, but that doesn't matter to him either. He keeps running, and he'll run until his heart gives out if that's what it takes to get his little girl back. "Jack!" Locke calls from behind, bringing Jack to a quick halt. Was it her? Did Locke find his precious baby? Jack approaches the bald man, watching him kneel to the ground, studying the dirt with keen eyes.Amongst the grass, twigs, and leaves, Claire's luggage lay abandoned, tossed aside like useless trash. Is that what Ethan sees them as? Are Maddie and Claire nothing more than disposable pieces in whatever game he's playing? Jack's anxiety propels to new heights, sweat shining from his skin, urging him to wipe it away. "Claire was moving back to the beach, that's hers," Jack says, kneeling to get a better view. Items from the bag mingle amongst the soft, moist dirt; some clothes, a journal, and the prenatal vitamins Jack gave Claire weeks ago. Jack grabs the journal — a few pages wrinkled from laying on the wet jungle floor — he flips open the page marked by her pen, and Maddie's childlike handwriting pulls him into a fixed gaze. Stroking his thumb over the dried ink, he hears that sweet little voice he misses so much. Jack's almost positive she'll never talk again after all this is over, that is, assuming this mess ends well. "Maddie was with her… what the hell happened?" "I don't know," Locke answers, and his voice sounds confused yet certain at the same time. "Footprints." He points at the tracks, gaining some confidence. "Three distinct sets. Looks like there might have been a struggle." A story unfolds as he walks ahead, and his lips curve at the thrill of hunting such a formidable opponent. "Drag marks here, and here… I think they've been taken." "Yeah, no shit, Locke! Which way?" Jack says.They follow the trail another mile or so into the jungle until Locke stops, his hand studying the many footprints embedded in the earth. Jack kneels beside him, pretending he has some clue what the hell Locke is reading into at this point. "The tracks are still fresh," Locke finally says. "This doesn't make any sense." Jack moves his hand over his hair, bursting with so many questions that he doesn't know which to ask first. "How can one man drag two people? One of them pregnant." "You're asking the wrong question. Not how, why?" "You think it was Ethan?" "Feels that way, doesn't it?" Locke takes a few steps down the trail. "How could he do all this by himself?" Jack asks, watching the man scan the area like a bloodhound with a fresh scent on his nose. "We can't account for all our people, Jack. And even then, who's to say they're our people? You heard Sayid say there were others."A large involuntary eye roll and a cynical expression washes over Jack's face. Everyone's undoubtedly gone mad to believe this ghost story about a group of natives living on the island, hunting them down one by one. It's absurd. There has to be some logical explanation for Ethan not being on the manifest and his motives for taking two of their own off into the jungle. "Sayid's injured, Locke. We don't even know where he went, and he's delirious." "I'm just telling you what the ground's telling me," Locke says. "So which way is the ground telling you they went!" That's all Jack cares to find out. At the moment, he could care less about whatever else is going on behind the scenes. If it doesn't involve Maddie safe in his arms, it makes no difference. "Jack, we don't know what's going on here." "He has Maddie! That's all the information I need!" "We need to prepare," Locke says, watching Jack's jaw clench, but despite the man's irritation, Locke knows better than to go into something unprepared. "We can go back to the caves, organize a proper search party and—"Two fists grip at Locke's shirt, pulling him close in one quick and careless motion. "Which way did he take my little girl, John!"Jack holds the man hostage, looking him dead in the eyes without any remorse. Although Locke isn't his enemy in this situation, everything and everyone is either helping him get to Maddie or standing in his way, and Locke withholding the trail from him is no exception. Fortunately for Jack, Locke understands the real motives behind his aggression, not taking it personally. He doesn't hold it against him and would presumably act the same if he had a child. With the slightest nod, the man points Jack in the right direction, watching from behind as the anxious father rushes out of sight.✧
Punctuality was always a habit Christian had beaten into Jack at a young age, especially when it came to medical school, and even more so when Jack got hired at the same hospital. "You represent our family, Son, and me. People expect a higher standard from us." Christian used to tell him. So walking down the hospital hall, checking if his wristwatch had the correct time, Jack was grateful his father had the day off. He's late for arguably one of the more important appointments in his life, Haylee's four-month ultrasound. The one ultrasound that so many parents patiently wait for with anticipation. It's the day they finally get that burning question answered: boy or girl? That was all well and good for Jack, but he found himself thinking more about the responsibilities coming down the pike.
Everything was moving like clockwork, and to Jack's pleasant surprise, he had grown used to the idea of a child. There were still plenty of things he needed to adjust to, but time wasn't exactly a luxury anymore. Besides, after a few months of talking to Haylee's belly, Jack was growing quite attached. A week ago, on one rather stormy night, Haylee awoke from a nightmare. The kind of nightmare that left you feeling vulnerable and removed from reality. She shook Jack awake, tears swelling in her tired eyes as she told him something was wrong. She could feel the baby shifting around in her belly, panicked by Haylee's startled awakening. Jack spent a minute or two talking to their child, and when that didn't settle anything, he placed both his hands on Haylee's stomach and sang. The unborn infant eased almost instantly, Jack's palm getting a slight thump of approval, their baby's first kick.
After that, any time the baby tossed and turned, Jack would sing to calm the tension in both mother and child. It never did any good with anyone else; not even Haylee's singing did the trick. That's when everything fell into place for Jack, to know his troubled little one felt safe with him around. A new father couldn't ask for much more than that.
The tiny door number 108 came into view, and his pace picked up, almost jogging over to the door. He straightened his tie and jacket, letting himself relax before entering the room. There she was, his beautiful wife, sitting on the bed with a warm smile and round belly. Jack didn't detect even the slightest hint of anger for his late arrival, reminding him of her patience.
"Well, look who decided to show up," Haylee said. "Running a little late there, Dr. Shephard?"
"Late?" Jack walked over to the bed, kissing her soft pink lips. "No, no," he said with confidence, pulling out an Apollo candy bar from his jacket. "You see, I had to stop at a vending machine and get you something."
The snack reeked of bribery, but also chocolate and nutty goodness that a pregnant woman couldn't possibly turn down. Haylee subtly licked her lips, practically tasting the melting chocolate on her tongue. She snatches the bar from him, hating how easy it was to appease her.
"Okay, so you know your audience. I'll give you that," she said, ripping the wrapper and making quick work of the sweet-tasting treat. Jack laughed because it wasn't often he got the upper hand on her, so he made sure to enjoy it when he did. He placed a palm on her stomach and gave the surface a small peck. Soon the excitement of their appointment was at the forefront of his mind, along with Haylee's primary doctor, who entered the room with a clipboard in hand.
"Ah, Dr. Shephard, nice of you to join us," the man said with a smirk.
"Dr. Mills," Jack replied, shaking his hand. He was one of the older doctors in the hospital, around his father's age. Of course, the professional in Jack wanted to treat Haylee's pregnancy himself, but she wouldn't hear of it. She and Dr. Mills had a rapport going back years, so she wholeheartedly trusted him. Not to mention — and Haylee did several times — she wanted Jack to experience this as a father, not a doctor.
"Haylee," Dr. Mills said with a raised eyebrow, taking the empty Apollo wrapper from the woman's hand. "I hope you've been sticking to proper nutritional meals throughout the pregnancy."
"Yes, I'm sticking to the boring meals," Haylee said in a huff. "It's one candy bar, Alan. I think we'll be okay."
"Alright, alright. It is my job to check on these things, after all." The man chuckled and wrote a few notes on his clipboard.
Haylee leaned towards Jack, slightly covering her mouth to whisper, "Nice work. You got me in trouble." Her husband chuckled and playfully nudged her with his shoulder.
"Okay," Dr. Mills said, putting away the clipboard to get the ultrasound ready. "Looks like everything was fine at your last checkup, so I'm sure you two are eager to find out the sex. Either of you have a preference?"
Haylee and Jack peer at one another, silently asking the same question. It was something they hadn't discussed before, not even when discussing baby names. However, secretly, Jack couldn't deny the appeal of having a girl because a boy had a higher chance of being like him, which was a terrifying thought. Not that it was unheard of for daughters to emulate their fathers, but Jack didn't see that happening with an inspiring mother like Haylee to follow.
"No," Jack answered for both of them — apparently, the truth would remain a secret. "As long as it's healthy."
Dr. Mills exposed Haylee's belly, the cold air sending a wave of goosebumps across the woman's skin. He rubbed on a thin layer of lubricant with the ultrasound transducer and began the search along her uterus. A whole minute of anticipation went by before the gray, grainy abyss on-screen revealed the child hidden within, and Haylee covered her mouth in shock, tears forming in her eyes. She felt Jack's grip tighten on her hand as the head and body showed, followed by a pair of tiny arms and legs.
"Well," Dr. Mills said with an enthusiastic grin. "It appears you got your wish. I don't see any physical abnormalities, and it looks like you're expecting a healthy baby girl." Haylee gasped while choking back the tears that were clearly visible in her eyes. Her heart raced, unable to take her focus off the screen from her beautiful unborn angel. "I'll give you two a moment."
The doctor made his way to the door, and upon his exit, Jack squeezed his wife's hand, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
"Hey," he whispered, "what are you thinking?"
Haylee didn't say anything for the longest time; she merely sat there in a tremble, gawking at the ultrasound as tears finally slipped down her cheeks.
"That's…" Haylee said with a swollen voice. "That's our baby? Our little girl?"
She sounded almost hurt, like she might break at any given moment if the answer were no. Her attention turned from the screen to peer at Jack with glistening eyes. She had never had an easy life. An abusive narcissistic mother drove her father to abandon them, eventually being taken away and raised in the foster care system. Only to grow up and marry a manipulative and abusive ex-husband that got her addicted to heroin. Then to top it all off, surviving lung cancer, which could come back at any point in her life. This baby and Jack were easily two of the most important things to happen to Haylee, and she needed him to reassure her it was real.
"Yeah, sweetheart," Jack said, smiling slowly from ear to ear. "That's our little girl." With another kiss to her forehead, he moved both their hands down to her stomach, keeping his firmly on top. "She's right here. Safe and sound."
✦ "Alright, let's go over it again," Sawyer says to himself out loud, walking the skinny dirt path that leads to the caves. "What are you doin' here, Sawyer? Well, glad you asked, Doc. I thought I'd come early to get my antibiotics." He pulls the strap of his backpack onto his shoulder more and nods his head. "Yeah, simple. Easy. No one needs to know what a sap you've turned into, and that you're really hikin' up to cave town to see the little girl that ain't yours." A lazy huff exits his mouth, a bit of vulnerability hitting the pit of his stomach. "Because that's not creepy at all."All afternoon he rehearsed this conversation. From the moment Jack left the beach, unable to think about anything other than Maddie, to right now. He's positive Jack will see right through his lie, but his embarrassment levels are less, knowing he has an excuse to present in front of the others.The cave entrance comes into view, and Sawyer hears a low amount of chatter, along with the small waterfall, beating down on the rocks. He casually walks by everyone with ease, almost too much ease. Not a single person focuses on him. What used to be endless glances of fear and judgment is now a stroll through the park. There's something strange in the atmosphere as groups of people stand to talk amongst each other in hushed, frightened tones. Sawyer shrugs it off, assuming it's leftover anxiety from Claire's attacker. Probably why no one cares about his presence; he's no longer the big fish in the sea, and he's honestly not sure how to feel about that. Approaching Jack's little corner of the cave, Sawyer comes to a halt, finding the most unexpected person asleep amongst the doctor's supplies. "Sayid?" Sawyer's gut boils at the sight of him, and it takes every bit of control he has to keep from doing something stupid. When the hell did he get back? The temptation to retaliate and deliver some much-deserved payback thoroughly crosses Sawyer's mind, but his need to find Jack and Maddie is much stronger. "Asshole ain't worth my time," he says with a wave of his hand, readjusting his backpack. "Sawyer!" Micheal's voice comes from behind, and Sawyer turns to watch the man jog over as frazzled as everyone else. He and Michael are about as close as him and Sayid, so whatever he has to say can't be good. "Eh, man, I guess you got the same run around from Locke as me," Micheal says with spite in his tone. "Who does he think he is, right? Telling us that Kate and Boone are enough for his little search party, and that we should go south."Sawyer's mouth partly falls open, unable to think of any response, which doesn't happen often. He hasn't a clue what the man is going on about, and he really couldn't care less. "Uh…" "Anyway, I'm headed south. No way I'm going to sit here and wait. I mean, I'm sick of getting treated like a second class citizen around here because Mount Baldy—" "Lookie here, Mike. Can I call you Mike?" Sawyer says, not waiting for an answer. "I don't really give a damn about yours and Locke's pissin' match. I'm here 'cause…" Sawyer catches himself before the real reason slips out, clearing his throat as he shuffles in place. "I'm lookin' for Jack. Where the hell is he?" "Wait…" Michael's eyebrows scrunch up. "You, uh… you mean you haven't heard? "Heard what?" An intense rush of anger and anxiety hits Sawyer's chest, and smoking withdrawals suddenly occupy his mind. It's odd being the clueless one, and he can’t stand it. He's a con man, for crying out loud, being in the know is a crucial part of his job description. "Man, I'm sorry. I thought someone surely would have told you." "Tell me what? You mind spittin' it out already, Hoss?" Sawyer says, holding back his temper.Michael rubs the back of his neck, and Sawyer analyzes the man's shifty glances from left to right, clearly looking for a way out of the situation. If Sawyer's a betting man — and he most certainly is — he wagers Michael's now contemplating if telling him what's going on is a wise choice. "Maddie and Claire, they were… abducted a few hours ago."Sawyer's mouth immediately opens, ready to say something, but no words come out. His whole body goes numb, starting from his feet and traveling up to his head. It takes over his mind, unable to think or speak; hell, he's surprised he is still standing upright. "Wha-a…" Sawyer says in a silent and dazed voice. "They, uh," Micheal says, "They think it was Ethan." "Ethan!" That name brings Sawyer back to reality, extreme perseverance taking hold of him. He knew it. That piece of shit was right under his nose, and he didn't listen to his gut. He gives Micheal a bold look and closes the comfortable gap between them. "Which way did Jack go?" "He's with Locke and—" "I didn't fuckin' ask who he was with, Michael! Which way did he go?" "They…" Michael says with some hesitation. "They went north."Sawyer tosses his pack on the ground and pushes past Michael without another word. This situation is now very personal. Ethan got a clear warning from him that night on the beach, and Sawyer isn't one to repeat himself. Every option to resolve this issue is on the table, including death. For all her bullshit, Kate isn't the only criminal on the island. Sawyer watched a man die from his hand before, and he'll do it again, but this time, without hesitation.✦It didn't take long for Locke, Kate, and Boone to catch up to a very lost doctor standing in the middle of an open field. He wasn't doing anything aside from staring ahead with a dazed pain seeping from his expression. Locke did his best to convince him to go back and "be the doctor", but Jack wouldn't agree to such a ridiculous idea. He had no intention of returning to camp until they found Maddie.A few hours pass as the group follows the trail, which gets harder to track as time goes on. If that isn't enough to dampen morale, the humidity is also stronger than usual, exhausting each of them much faster as they travel the jungle. Yet the unbearable weather doesn't affect Jack's motivation, nor does Locke's calm and annoying demeanor. He might as well be an underpaid employee looking for a child that wandered off in the supermarket. "Anything?" Jack asks, coming up to Locke as he hands Boone a red shirt to mark their progress. "Not yet," Lock says with a slight grin. "Something funny, Locke?" "Yes, actually, Jack. You've asked me that question about five times in the last hour." "Well silly me for thinking we should have caught up to them by now!" Jack says in heavy breaths, wiping the sweat from his face. "Can you pick up the trail or not?" "I'll pick it up again!" Locke says, speaking to Jack like an impatient child. "We need to rest for a minute, get our clarity back." "No! It's almost four o'clock! When the sun sets, there's no way we'll catch—" "It's four twenty-five, Jack, and I'm taking a break."Locke sits down comfortably on a fallen log, pulling his backpack on his lap and grabbing some water. If this is a display of dominance to show Jack who is in charge out here, it has the opposite effect. "Do you understand what's going on, Locke?" Jack asks in a tone that suggests Locke is an idiot. "My five-year-old daughter and Claire, who I remind you is pregnant, have been abducted! Defenseless! God only knows why Ethan wants them!" He kneels in front of the man, continuing to talk with contempt while Kate and Boone watch the two of them. "So, if you're gonna try and act like some badass safari guide, find them!" "Jack," Locke says with a calm sigh, "running into the jungle half-cocked doesn't do anyone any good. We have to keep our wits about us." "My daughter!" Jack yells, losing all his patience. Too much control is getting taken out of his hands, and it's unbearable to have to wait on someone else to help him find Maddie. Locke peers at the childless father with a mix of frustration and pity, which only makes Jack angrier. "I understand how worried you—" "Oh, fuck you, Locke!" Jack says, standing up to stomp past him.He heads into the jungle, not a clue where he is going. The trees swallow him as he walks further into the lush atmosphere, and though life surrounds him at every turn, it's hollow. It's nothing more than a vast space, keeping him and Maddie miles apart. He stops and places his hands on his sides, once again staring out at nothing, losing himself in the dark corners of his mind. "Would it kill you to give the guy a little space?" Kate says while coming up behind him.Where Jack usually finds comfort in Kate's presence, he now finds irritation. She's always there, lurking, doing her best to ease him but coming off more pushy than anything else. It doesn't matter what his emotions inside are; Kate doesn't ever stop to relate to his point of view. The only thing she seems to care about is him staying in line and not doing anything crazy. "Are you serious, Kate? You want me to give him a break?" He sharply turns, catching the woman off guard and making her take a few steps back. "If anything happens to Maddie, to either of them—"A muffled voice from the jungle cuts him off, both of them staring in the direction it came. It's almost a mile off from their current location, but Jack's sure he heard someone. They wait a few seconds in silence, Kate losing interest much faster than Jack as she looks away from the trees and back at him. "Jack—" "Shh!" Jack says, slightly moving away in the direction of the voice. He waits with a slow, quiet breath, his ears alert to every sound. Leaves rustle as the wind picks up around them, gentle and secretive, until the voice echoes in the distance again, much clearer this time. "Jack! Locke!" "Sawyer?" Jack calls back, running in his direction. "Jack! Over here!"Jack travels a half-mile in one direction, Kate following behind him until all three meet up. Sawyer approaches the two and leans on his knees to catch his breath, giving himself but a moment to re-energize. "How did you find us?" Kate asks. "Luck," Sawyer says, pushing his hair back as he stands up straight. He studies Jack for a second or two, getting most of the answers he needs with one look. It reminds him of the day Maddie lost control over Jack's disappearance, the two having a damn near identical look of sadness in their eyes. "You find her?"Jack remains silent, grimacing in pain before slightly shaking his head. Tears form in his eyes, and he turns away to hide them. "We lost the trail thirty minutes ago. Locke's trying to find it again," Kate says, hearing Jack scoff from behind. "Yeah, Locke's ass is doing some real hard work on that log," he says with a mocking grin. "It's a break, Jack! All of us want to find Maddie as much as you do. We all underst—" "No! No, you don't understand, Kate!" Jack says, stepping closer to the woman. "None of you can possibly understand what this is like!" Rage swells in his chest, tired of everyone trying to lull him into a false sense of security. None of them understand the pain of not knowing or what it's doing to him inside. How can they? "All you see is a little girl you've known for three weeks!" Jack wobbles from side to side as his vision starts to spin. "But me, I see a six-pound infant that can fit in the crook of my arm. Who needs me to check her closet for monsters every night and tiptoes into my room at three in the morning because she can't sleep! Sh-she's… she's my responsibility! It's my job to protect her and make sure she's…" His face is hot and red, and his body trembles, the man's lungs working against him as panic settles in his mind. "I promised… I promised, and I should have..." Without warning, Jack falls on all fours, gasping for air while his fingers grip at the soil beneath them. "Jack?" Kate questions, both her and Sawyer watching with concern. "What if… what… I… I can't…" Jack's lungs fight against him, each breath coming slower than the next. "Shit," Sawyer says, rushing past Kate to kneel in front of the doctor. "Doc, you're havin' a panic attack." He grips Jack's shoulders, gaining his focus. "No!" Jack says, his head shaking with unease. "I hate to break it to you, Jack, but yeah you are. Now, calm down." "No! I-I-I have to… I have to find…" "How'n the hell you gonna find anyone when you can barely stand?" Sawyer says. "Look, just, take a breath, okay? It's gonna be alright." After some reluctance, Jack takes a deep, slow breath along with Sawyer and blows it out. "There, and again." They repeat the process twice more until Jack is breathing steady, and Sawyer can't help but notice the similarities between him and Maddie. Both of them depend on each other so much; it's enough to make anyone jealous — even if it's not a hundred percent healthy. "Now listen here, Doc, I may not have known Maddie since birth, but the kid I do know is a stubborn, brave, pain in the ass like her Daddy." Jack slightly chuckles under his still heavy breaths. "We're gonna get her back, you hear?"With a broken and lost heart, Jack peers into Sawyer's soft green eyes. Something is calming in them, something that soothes his panicked mind. "Okay," Jack says, nodding his head. "Good." Sawyer pats the man's shoulder with a smile. "Now, let's go find our little girl."✧
Coming home in the afternoons was always a pleasant surprise for Jack, although he found it hard to believe they didn't need him at the hospital in some form or another, regardless of getting sent home. But today, he's not concerned with the hospital's needs. Today, he couldn't stop thinking about his nine-month pregnant wife alone at home. Dr. Mills put the woman on strict bed rest since the baby was two weeks past her due date. Of course, Haylee wasn't in the mood to take any orders, not with her crazy mood swings hanging about. She was a ticking time bomb of emotions, most of which Jack got the brunt of, but he never complained. He couldn't imagine how uncomfortable she was carrying a baby the size of a small bowling ball for multiple months.
Jack pulled into the driveway and quickly made his way from there to the house. As he opened the front door, a hefty dose of anxiety fell in the pit of his stomach, seeing what he feared most play out before him. Haylee was standing on her tippy toes, attempting to put away a stack of dishes in the top kitchen cabinet. Her belly was now the size of a watermelon and was obviously hindering her ability to complete what should be a simple task.
"Haylee!" Jack said, rushing to her side. One wrong move and the whole pile might come crashing down on the woman. "Stop, damn it! Stop!" He took the plates from her and tucked them safely away in the cabinet. "What the hell were you thinking? You have to stop trying to do more than your body is capable of right now."
Haylee gave an annoyed scoff and rolled her eyes. "That's rich coming from you, Jack," she said as he led her to the couch. "You're the king of over exerting yourself beyond your limits."
She tossed aside the decorative couch pillows and sunk into the cushions, her body aching in almost every way imaginable. Many messes sat around the house: unfolded laundry, dirty dishes on the coffee table, various snacks laying about with their inevitable crumbs on the carpet. The house had become so chaotic lately, and this was only the beginning. Soon enough, their former life as a childless couple would cease to exist. That thought used to scare Jack, but he didn't have time for fear anymore, not with the baby on its way. He grabbed the dirty dishes off the table and carried them to the kitchen sink, listening to Haylee as she uncomfortably groaned.
"She's going to come out sooner or later, babe," Jack said, walking back to sit in the chair beside the couch. He pulled the basket of clean clothes over to fold, and Haylee huffed before dropping her head against the back of the sofa.
"I want that to be now!" she said in an anxious whine. "Why won't she come out, Jack? Why! She's as stubborn as you are!"
"Can you blame her? She's got everything she needs. You just made her such a lovely hom—"
"Oh, don't even start with that crap, Shephard!" Haylee sat up in frustration, giving the man a death stare. "You talk to her, Jack! She listens to you!"
"You want me to give her an eviction notice?"
"If that's what she needs to hear, by all means."
Jack shook his head with a wild grin, well aware that she's only half-joking. His shoulders fell in unison with his exhale, still folding laundry as he contemplated what he might say to help motivate his unborn child.
"Alright," he said, getting up to join Haylee on the couch. He placed both hands on her stomach and leaned in close. "Baby girl, it's Daddy."
"Ow," Haylee said while exhaling. Their daughter always shifted at the sound of her father's voice, recognizing it better than anyone else's, aside from Haylee's. "Well, you clearly have her full attention."
Jack smiled and rubbed the surface of Haylee's belly, talking in a calm voice. "I know you're all warm and cozy in there, but you're making your mother crazy." He moved in a bit more to whisper, "that's an understatement. Between you and me, she's been a real pain in the ass these past few days."
"Jack!" Haylee said, hitting his shoulder.
"Excuse me," Jack said with a mischievous smirk. "Do you mind? We're trying to have a private conversation." The woman pursed her lips, holding back a smile of sorts. On the other hand, she also looked like she might destroy him, yet gestured for the man to continue. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying. If you stay cooped up much longer, you might end up fatherless because your mother may kill me."
Grabbing a pillow from the floor, Haylee began beating the man relentlessly with it. Jack covered his face, leaning on the other side of the couch, laughing all the while.
"You're such a jackass!" Haylee said, tossing aside the pillow and struggling to get up and walk away.
"Come on, babe, I was just kidding," Jack chuckled, keeping her from leaving, but his pursuit wasn't welcome. She batted and pushed at his hands, attempting to gain her freedom with little success.
"Let go!" she said like a small, innocent child.
"Haylee," Jack said, still smiling as he stood and pulled her into his arms. "Don't be mad. I was playing around."
"No, you weren't!" she said, pushing against his chest and turning her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her. "I hate you." Despite her best efforts, Jack had a firm hold, keeping her as close as their child would allow, and Haylee eventually settled, the man's protective grasp bringing a warm sense of safety.
"Okay, I deserve that. How can I make it better? Hmm?" Jack asked with a smile. "Food?" He kissed her left cheek in a slow, calming way. "Massage?" He maneuvered to her right cheek, leaving another loving kiss before leaning his head against hers and longingly stared. "An emergency C section?"
Haylee grinned, both cheeks blushing as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now we're talking," she laughed.
Caressing her face in his hands, Jack couldn't help but notice the dark circles under her eyes. Sleep hadn't been kind to the young mother of late — which was normal given the stress of a prolonged due date — and the effects were showing in every way possible. However, even with the current circumstances, Jack already knew Haylee wouldn't change it for the world. No matter how uncomfortable or tired she was, their little girl was worth the trouble.
"She's going to come out soon, you know?" Jack said.
"Oh really? Tell you that herself, did she?" Haylee said with an amused chuckle, pulling Jack in for a kiss when a stabbing pain suddenly hit her lower abdomen, followed by a trickle of warm liquid running down her leg. "Oh," She gripped her stomach, her husband giving her a look of alarm. "Shit."
"What is it?"
"Okay," the woman said, breathing in deeply. "Don't let this go to your head, but I'm pretty sure my water just broke."
"Are…" Jack said, releasing her to take a step back. "Are you serious?"
"Yep, very serious, Jack. That or I just peed myself."
An enormous grin appeared on Jack's face, raising his brow as Haylee playfully rolled her eyes. It's hardly the time to gloat, but Jack couldn't help but beam with pride.
"I am damn good."
"Yeah, yeah, my hero," Haylee said with a sharp breath, waddling toward the front door. "Now, are you going to drive me to the hospital or should I take myself?"
✦Shortly after Sawyer joined Kate and Jack, Locke found a separate set of footprints leading in opposite directions. A dummy trail, Kate suggested, choosing then to reveal her secret tracking skills. They debated their options, wasting precious time before splitting up; Locke and Boone versus Kate, Jack, and Sawyer. In all honesty, Jack wished it were only him and Sawyer as Kate spent more time trying to reel him in than follow the path, and he wasn't alone in thinking that.A dense rain soon starts as they travel the now muddy path, making the trail harder to track. Jack keeps ahead of the other two, his movements fast and erratic, provoking Kate even further. "Jack, slow down! I'm not as good at this as Locke!" Kate yells, attempting to catch up. Sawyer follows behind her, rolling his eyes while biting his tongue on the matter. She's worried about him, and he gets that, but it isn't like Jack's overreacting either. Maddie's life is in grave peril, so who are any of them to tell Jack to slow down and smell the roses. "Jack!" Kate yells again before tripping over a rock, crashing into the mud. "Damn it, Kate, give it a rest!" Sawyer says, walking over to help her up. "Leave the man alone already. There ain't no way in hell you or any of us can calm him down!" "So you're gonna stop trying? He's completely lost it, Sawyer!" "What else do you expect? Some lunatic kidnapped his little girl, draggin' her and Claire further into a jungle that's proven itself not normal in any sense of the word!" he shouts, knowing Jack's now well out of earshot. "But, hey, maybe if you tell him it's okay one more time, he'll let you hold his hand all the way back to camp while singin' Kumbaya!" "Fuck you!" Kate says, slightly shoving him away, and the blonde chuckles. He stumbles back a few steps as drops of rain run through his long hair and into his face. Pushing the light, wet strands from his eyes, he approaches Kate with an amused grin. "No thanks, sweetheart. Not interested."Kate's expression turns into sheer rage, going way past annoyed and hitting a level of hatred she's only experienced for a handful of people in her life. She clenches her fist, ready to retaliate when Jack calls out from afar. They both look at each other for a fleeting second, losing all interest in their argument and running to meet up with him. "Jack!" Kate says as they find him kneeling to observe the ground ahead. "What is it?" Sawyer asks, short of breath. "Look!" Jack points at the plethora of footprints within the mud, looking like a brief scuffle occurred. "Even with the rain, these are pretty clear," he says, standing up to walk further ahead. "It has to mean they're close, right?" He looks at Kate for validation, but she stands bewildered in shock.Before she can answer, a violent scream echoes through the jungle, and all of them move back to back in a circle, observing each position of the vast wilderness. The scream fades out, disappearing behind the tapping of the heavy rain, leaving them to wonder if they heard anything at all. "What the hell is goin' on?" Sawyer says, and the tension grows thicker with each passing second. "I don't know, but that was definitely Claire," Jack answers, his voice shaking. Another scream flutters through the trees, but unlike the last, its sound is clear, giving them a direction to follow. "She's this way, come on!" The three move a few steps when the shriek of a little girl emerges from the opposite direction. Jack immediately turns, his blood going cold in his veins. He heard that scream so often when he chased her playfully around the house, pretending to be a scary monster in pursuit of the child, but it was never that terrified, broken sound he just heard. "Maddie!" Jack screams, and without warning or thought, he darts in that direction, chasing the cries of his little girl. "Jack!" Kate's right on his tail, pleading for him to slow down. Sawyer steps forward, ready to follow, but stops. He glances back toward Claire's shouts, and something tells him to go after her, an instinct he can't explain. The last time his gut felt this strongly, he didn't listen, and Maddie paid the price. He doesn't plan on making that mistake twice and takes off in the other direction.Jack's heart beats faster with each breath escaping his lungs. Mud collects on his jeans, slowing his pace as it swallows his shoes but not his determination. Another scream from Maddie sounds in the distance, changing the man's direction several times. "Maddie!" A steep incline of land comes into view, cutting Jack from the path forward. It's nothing more than a dangerous obstacle to overcome, and he starts to climb the tall formation of tree roots and dirt. "Jack! Stop!" Kate says, catching up to him. "It's too steep! We can find a way around!" Jack ignores the woman's frantic pleas and continues to climb, leaving Kate little choice but to follow.As the rain pours down, the dirt grows slick, making the climb no easy feat. Jack's arms and upper body ache from the effort, but now is no time for exhaustion. Higher and higher he goes, stopping about halfway up to peer below himself. Kate is a few seconds behind, and there's a long way down after her. Slight dizziness spins his mind, but another distant scream from Maddie gets him focusing again. Only a few feet away from the top of the mound, Jack reaches for a large tree root above him, unaware of its moss-covered surface, and within the blink of an eye, all the man's progress gets snatched away. His hand slips, sending him on a long slide down the rocky, rooted earth. He glides past Kate, grunting at every sharp rock and rough root he hits until he collides face-first into the hard surface below. The fall knocks the wind from his lungs, and with one painful breath, he gasps for air.Heavy rain beats on Jack's skin, stinging his already aching body, and he rolls over with a low groan. His eyes slowly open, fighting against the strong, persistent raindrops, and that's when he sees him. Ethan stands a few steps away, soaked to the bone, but he doesn't tremble, hardly breathes as he hovers like a hungry vulture. "I'm giving you one chance, Jack," Ethan says in a hardened voice. "Go back, and nobody gets hurt." He moves forward in one quick motion and steps on Jack's chest, watching him groan at the additional weight. "If you continue to follow me, I will kill one of them."Jack's brain struggles to wrap around the situation. How someone can switch between such vastly distinct personalities is beyond him. For weeks, Ethan was the silent, awkward man who followed instructions. Someone Jack called to assist him multiple times. He doesn't know this monster that's crushing his rib cage, and he doesn't care to find out more. He grabs Ethan's foot and shoves him off with all the strength he has, rushing to his feet to punch Ethan's jaw. The move knocks him back a few paces but appears to have little effect on the man's stamina. "You thought I would just walk away?" Jack says. "You kidnapped my little girl, Ethan!" He does his best to stand tall, even with pain surging every inch of his body. "Where are they?"They circle each other, eyes locked in an intense deathmatch as a low rumble of thunder sets off in the distance. A thick air settles in the atmosphere, and the rain hits down harder than before. While both men are ready to do whatever is necessary against the other, Jack can't ignore Ethan's strength. He's not affected by the harsh weather or his opponent's stubborn nature, simply watching with a smirk and tilting his head with curiosity. "You really don't remember, do you?" Ethan asks, and Jack's face turns to instant confusion. "I thought with time you would, but you don't remember at all." "What?" The father's guarded stance slightly drops, uncertainty clouding his judgment. "What are you talking about?"Ethan remains silent, standing as still as the trees that surround them. He peers at his opponent like he's the insane one, and it’s hard for Jack to tell if the look is genuine or merely a way to shake his confidence. "It's unwise to test me, Jack. I have my orders, and if you and your friends become a problem, Maddie or Claire pay the toll." Without warning, the man dashes forward, his fist colliding into Jack's stomach. The doctor buckles inward for a moment before attempting and failing to retaliate. Ethan dodges his efforts and gives him another swift hit to the face. The blow knocks Jack into a puddle of water on his hands and knees, blood dripping from his mouth. "No more warnings," Ethan says, kicking him in the head and knocking him unconscious.✧
Six hours of Haylee's labor came and went, and Jack's anxiety grew with each passing minute. It's not the type of anxiety he expected. It's those sharp tingles that settle in the pit of his stomach, excitement and fear intertwining into one. Anticipation kept him going throughout the night. It wasn't the coffee or the energy bar he had eaten earlier, but the thought of meeting her. The person he feared meeting all his adult life; his very own child.
Haylee breathed a few irregular breaths while Jack sat next to the bed, holding her hand. Her contractions proved difficult, but she powered through them as if she had done it before.
"A couple more seconds, babe. Keep breathing," Jack said, coaching her through the discomfort.
Haylee squeezed her eyes shut, her grip on Jack's hand getting tighter. Oxygen heaved in and out of her lungs, the woman fighting the aches until they dialed down again. She released his reddened hand and fell back into the pillows with an exasperated breath.
"I can't, Jack." Her face met the palms of her hands, their cover helping the woman avoid breaking into tears. "I can't do this! I can't!"
"Easy." Jack massaged one of her shoulders, getting her to remove her hands. "Haylee, you're doing fantastic. Another hour until you're fully dilated and then we can move on to the birth." With sad and broken eyes, she looked at him, lips quivering as she withheld emotions she didn't want to face. Jack could tell something wasn't right. Haylee had never regarded the pregnancy or birth with dread before, yet here she was, nearly paralyzed by it. "What's wrong?"
Haylee turned away, teeth digging into her bottom lip. "I just can't do this," she said, so low Jack almost didn't hear.
"Haylee." Jack lifted her chin and saw droplets in her eyes. "Sweetie, talk to me. Are you nervous about the birth because that's perfectly norm—"
"No," she said with a light smile. "It's not that."
"Then what is it?" He watched with the utmost concern, waiting for her to confess whatever was on her mind so that he might fix it. The thin white hospital sheets danced around her fingers as she fiddled with them, and she sighed to signal her surrender.
"Did I ever tell you about my sixth birthday?" Jack shook his head, clutching her tiny hands. "After my dad left, my mom moved us to this small, quiet neighborhood where we lived next door to the sweetest old lady, Eleanor. Since I was only four, my mother left me with her while she went out getting wasted or looking for some poor guy to manipulate." She rolled her eyes while brushing some hair behind her ear. "When I turned six, Eleanor gave me a baby doll for my birthday, and she was… perfect. I took her everywhere with me, and on darker days when my mother locked me in my room, she was there giving me a reason to be strong." Many painful memories came with those years, and Haylee didn't often dwell on them. However, this memory had clawed its way to the forefront of her mind, making itself at home. "That's when I knew I wanted to be a mother."
Jack's lips raised on both ends, rubbing his thumb over her hand. "Well, that sounds like one of your more wholesome memories," he chuckled. "Why is that upsetting you?"
Haylee waited for a moment, contemplating her story as she spun the wedding ring on Jack's finger. She couldn't look him in the eye. One look into his gentle, loving eyes would break her, and she would rather feel nothing.
"One night, my mother got angry after one of the countless men she knew stole from her. I don't even know what he took. I only remember being in my room when I heard her screaming. Young and naive, I foolishly went downstairs, holding my babydoll and peeking into the living room. She was breaking anything in reach, cussing so loud I'm certain the entire neighborhood heard. Then she saw me…" A tear streamed her cheek, her lips trembling once more. "She rushed over to slap me and dragged me into the living room. Before I could even protest, she snatched my doll and… tossed her into the fireplace." With that thought, Haylee's distress broke free, and she began to cry. "I remember watching her burn as I screamed. My mother dug her nails into my arms, keeping me from getting her. She said I was stupid to think I would ever make a good mother, to think I could be good at anything."
"Haylee." That's all Jack managed to get out as he shook his head in disbelief.
"And I can't stop thinking," Haylee choked, unable to speak through her tears. "She's right, Jack, I can't do this! I can't be a mother. I can't—"
"Shh." Jack sprung up to sit beside her on the bed, pulling her trembling body into his arms. "She was projecting, Haylee. That's what people do when they can't face their demons." Haylee shook against his scrub top, pushing herself into his chest like she couldn't get close enough. "You're already an amazing mother, and our baby isn't even here yet."
"Jack, I'm… I'm scared," she said in a low whimper.
"There's no reason to be scared, baby." He pulled her away, his hands caressing her cheeks. "I'll never let you fall," he whispered. "Never."
Scott soon interrupted the two when he walked in with a notable grin, one which faded at the sight of his grief-stricken daughter.
"Haylee!" he said, shutting the door. "Is everything alright?"
The beat of Haylee's heart quickened, tears sliding down her moistened cheeks. Eyes red and swollen, she gawked at her father while trying to think of an excuse.
"Yeah," Jack answered, "everything's fine, Scott. Some hormones kicked in, that's all."
A grateful expression overtook Haylee's features, and she nodded along in agreement. "Yeah, those pesky pregnancy hormones," she said, wiping her cheeks.
"Should I come back?" Scott asked, pointing at the door.
"No, don't be silly, Scott," Jack laughed. "I was actually about to get more ice chips for Haylee. Do you mind stepping in for me here?" Once he received a compliant nod from his father-in-law, Jack leaned in to kiss his wife's forehead. "Everything is going to work out fine. I want you to relax, okay?"
Haylee moved her hand over his cheek. "Whatever you say, Dr. Shephard."
As Jack got up and walked toward the exit, he heard Scott bantering with Haylee from behind. He looked back to see the brightest grin on his wife's cheeks. Scott had never been a particularly funny man. The timing and setup of his jokes were often all wrong, and he always had an endless amount to tell. Yet Haylee laughed without fail every time. He had no idea if it was simply to humor the poor man or because she genuinely found him funny, and he never thought to ask. If it meant hearing that beautiful laugh, Jack would let Scott rattle off jokes all night.
"I'm glad you're here, Daddy," Haylee said while Scott took her hand.
"Me too, Pumpkin. Me too."
Happiness swelled in Jack's stomach, glad to see the pair of them together. Haylee needed family today more than ever, and Scott was making up for lost time. Closing the door behind himself, Jack stood tall, walking confidently down the hospital hall. It's hard to believe how perfect everything was at that moment, but he couldn't be happier.
"Dr. Shephard!"
Jack turned to see another doctor jogging in his direction, a taller man with dark hair. It's not anyone he recognized, leaving him somewhat puzzled.
"Can I help you?" Jack asked, coming to a stop.
"I wanted to speak with you about your wife's pending labor," he said with a grin. "I'm Dr. Ethan Rom; I work for a small company based in Portland, Oregon." He extended his hand, studying Jack's confused and uncomfortable body language.
"Uh." Jack hesitated before accepting the offered handshake. "I'm sorry, what company?"
"Mittelos Bioscience, also known as Mittelos Laboratories. Our organization is a bit private, but one of our teams dedicates their time researching a rare defect in some pregnant women. It can cause complications during pregnancy and labor, sometimes even fatal. We have a volunteer program in which hospitals send us patient information if they see any signs of this deficiency. Your wife's information got sent to us."
Jack's stomach dropped, stepping closer as his mouth parted. He wasn't sure how to react, wondering why the hospital kept such vital information from them.
"Why weren't we made aware of this earlier!"
"While she shows symptoms, they are mild. We didn't want to panic either of you unless we had more information. Even now, I merely want to ask if I may be present during the labor to make sure everything goes well. A precaution."
Alarmed by the new information, Jack stood in shock, running his palm over his head. He had looked through Haylee's charts multiple times, wanting to ensure her health was in check, and he never noticed anything unusual. Then again, he wasn't a fertility doctor; perhaps he overlooked something.
"Doctor, are you telling me there's a chance I might lose my child today?"
Dr. Rom slightly chuckled, patting Jack's arm. It's a peaceable gesture, hoping to instill confidence in the father-to-be. "That's why I'm here, Dr. Shephard. To make sure that doesn't happen."
✦An eerie thin fog dwells among the jungle once the rainfall ends, clouding Sawyer's line of sight. Thirty minutes had passed since he saw Jack and Kate, and the screams leading the way have long disappeared. His boots create large splashes in the puddles as he races through the jungle, confused and helpless. It all looks the same, but he refuses to give up despite his lost lead. "Claire!" A pair of birds flutter from the trees, startled by the man's voice. "Maddie!"Leaves rustle under the soft wind, and many jungle occupants — animals and bugs alike — sing in anticipation of nightfall. It'll get dark sooner or later, and Sawyer can only hope he'll find something before then. He kneels to the ground, searching for what the rain already washed away, and as his optimism weakens, Maddie shrieks in the distance. He springs to his feet, listening close to the short-lived scream. "Maddie!"Sawyer dashes into the wilderness, chasing the lone cry, a fast pulse rising beneath his skin. The lush trees fuse into a chaotic mess, and he soon stops to catch his breath. His body tingles from the unforeseen burst of energy, and it prickles across his arms and legs. Brushing the blonde strands from his face, he spots a set of footprints below. They are childlike, leading off to the right and into the jungle. It's too good to be true, but he follows them with timid expectations. With each step, he grows more nervous because whatever awaits him, he's sure it isn't good. He finally comes to the end of the trail, squinting at something in the distance, until he recognizes the child's frail, lifeless body several inches ahead. The man stumbles backward, losing himself in shock. "No!" He rushes over, knees sinking into the mud as he drops to her side. "Maddie! C'mon, honey, open your eyes!" His head leans on her chest, and the weak thump of her heart vibrates against his ear. She's alive. A long puff of air exits from his nose, relief flooding his lungs. He lifts her head gently into the palm of his hand, looking over the features of her tiny face. "Hey, Shorty." His thumb strokes into her messy hair. "You… you gotta wake up now. You're safe. I'm here." Reluctant tears stream down his cheeks, viewing the finger-shaped bruises covering her right arm. It creates a clear picture of Ethan's hand on her, dragging the girl along as she screams, and Sawyer's jaw clenches at the thought. Next time their paths cross, he'll kill him with his bare hands.He soon discerns a sticky, damp substance in his occupied palm, prompting him to peek at the girl's head. A pool of blood waits in his hand, crimson red droplets glistening down the side of his palm. His mouth falls open, staying still as a statue. This isn't real. It echoes over and over in his mind before he snaps back to reality, immediately searching the sea of her dark, tangled hair. At the bottom of her skull, Sawyer finds a gash half the size of a pencil, blood seeping from every angle. He doesn't know what to do, and terror fills his heart as he stares at the blood and bruises. "Okay…" Sawyer says, reminding himself to breathe. Maddie needs him right now; it's no time to shut down. "Okay, it's gonna be alright." He grips the sleeve of his raggy blue shirt and rips it off, placing it on the wound. "You just hang tight, Baby Girl. We're gonna find your daddy." Holding the rag against her injury, Sawyer plucks her body from the ground, pushing her against his chest as he runs into the jungle. "You're gonna be fine."✧
The scent of sterilization lingered in the hospital room, giving the atmosphere a sense of structure, free of chaos. Sweat glistened from Jack's forehead, and he peered over Haylee's legs, watching her work hard to push out their stubborn little girl. Her progress was slow, but the infant's head now peeked slightly from her mother's womb, reluctant to leave her cozy home.
"Okay, quick break, Haylee," Jack said, and Haylee released a violent breath. The bright hospital lights had her body burning, their glow leaving no blemish hidden on her sweaty skin.
"This really hurts, Jack," she said, trembling from head to toe.
"It's not too late for an epidural. I can—"
"No! I want to do this naturally! It just hurts!"
"Okay, okay." A smile persisted on Jack's lips, raising one of his hands to signal submission. It wasn't the first time she snapped at him during this process, and he's sure it won't be the last. Behind him, Dr. Rom and a nurse chuckled, watching everything play out from the sidelines. Their presence made Haylee somewhat uneasy, especially the strange doctor she didn't know from Adam. "Ready to go again?"
Ready wasn't the word she would use. She didn't have a choice; the baby wouldn't wait, nor would her spasming muscles. Haylee straightened her back, blowing out three or four breaths before pushing again. Her fist clenched the sheets that now feel scratchy and uncomfortable like everything else, and a groan of discomfort escaped her mouth.
"Good. You're doing great, Haylee," Jack said in a soft, encouraging tone. "Her head just needs a little help." He pushed his hand inside the birth canal to cup the baby's head, and Haylee flinched at the unexpected stretch. "Sorry." He glanced at the woman for a second, ensuring she was alright before continuing to work.
"What's happening?" Haylee asked between gasps.
"She's a little skewed. I don't want her shoulder to get stuck, so I'm helping her realign." The woman took shallow breaths, relaxing as much as possible until the baby shifted positions, making her clench up once more. "There you go, sweetie. Okay, big push, Haylee!"
"I'm... I'm so tired, Jack. I can't push any harder," Haylee said, completely drained.
"Hey." Jack's free hand pulled down his medical mask, giving a stern expression of sympathy. She looked exhausted, with her hair pulled back in a messy bun, sweat shimmering on her skin. It made Jack think twice about showing some tough love. "Haylee, you can do this! She is right here. Give me one more big push to get her out, okay?"
Frightened by the pain, dread entangled itself in the pit of Haylee's stomach, accompanied by a flutter in her chest, but she took a deep breath despite that and braced herself. She shut her eyes and clenched her muscles, putting whatever energy she had left into pushing. An excruciating pain stabbed her pelvis, and she leaned forward, crying out in agony while continuing to push. The lights flickered for a few seconds, followed by a short glitch in the hospital monitors.
"What on earth?" the nurse said, staring around the room. "Must have been a power shortage." She looked to Dr. Rom for a response, but he wasn't paying attention to her. He instead stepped closer, watching the child's head and body slip free from her mother and into Jack's arms. One would expect the room to fill with the cries of a newborn, but there was no such sound. She didn't cry, didn't even open her eyes; the child was completely lifeless. Jack's smile faded, and he placed his palm on her stomach, shaking her motionless body but inspiring no signs of life.
"She's not breathing." Urgency sunk into his actions, cutting the spongy umbilical cord and rushing her over to an exam table. The child's skin is soft and wrinkled, a dark shade of blue tinting her appearance. "Get a ventilator ready!" Jack said to the nurse.
"Jack..." Haylee whispered, her body wobbling from side to side. "Is she... Is she alright? What..." Her body collapsed on the bed, the machine next to her beeping in alarm. Jack's heart dropped, looking over his shoulder to see the nurse zoom over to his wife's side.
"Doctor! She's losing blood!"
Everything in Jack's mind stood still at that moment, frozen in time, while panic surged throughout his limbs. All the beeping and shouts from the nurse turned to a prolonged ring deep in his eardrums. He can't move. He can't think. There's nothing, nothing but terror devouring his very being.
"Dr. Shephard!" Dr. Rom slapped him back to reality, and while the man's actions were bold, he appeared as reserved as ever. Jack covered the sting upon his cheek, blinking a few times in sheer shock. "Are you with me? Jack?"
"Yes..." Jack said, quiet and unsure before standing up straight. "Yes! Yes, I'm here!"
"Good. You get your child breathing. I'll take care of your wife. Now! Go!"
Jack nodded his head and spun back to his child, hearing Dr. Rom shout orders to the nurse behind him. He first checked the baby's nose and mouth for blockage before lining up two fingers to her chest, beginning compressions. Hundreds of times in residency, he trained under intense pressure like this, yet that experience did little to stop the shake in his limbs. He ripped off his mask, tossing it aside and grabbing the manual resuscitator from the table beside him. He placed it on the child's mouth and squeezed the large pump, force-feeding air into her lungs.
"Come on, sweetheart. Breathe." All the background noises faded from his awareness, waiting for nothing but his daughter's first breath. "Breathe for daddy, baby! You can do this!" He switched back to chest compressions, his pushes becoming more erratic and out of control. "Breathe!"
A hand clamped onto his shoulder, and its weight brought the room back into focus. "Dr. Shephard, I need you to step aside," Dr. Rom said, calm and in control.
"No! I got this! She's almost there!"
"You're losing control, and if you continue with your current pressure, you might break one of her ribs."
"I'm fine!" The grip on his shoulder tightened, Dr. Rom now pulling him from his helpless child and forcing him to the door. "Get off me!" Jack struggled against the other doctor but found his strength unmatchable as he pushed him out of the room. "Wait! Dr. Rom!" He caught the door before it could completely shut and gave the other doctor a desperate expression. "Please," he said, lips trembling while tears formed in his eyes. "They're all I have."
Dr. Rom stared with an empty gaze, emitting a light sigh. "I'll take care of them, Jack. I promise." With that, the door shut, severing the man from his family.
✦Jack's eyes squint, feeling the weight of his eyelids as glimmers of sunlight sting his unprepared retinas, obscuring his vision even further. He hears Kate's voice and senses her hovering presence, but the world is far too bright and blurred to know what's going on for sure. "Are you alright!" Kate asks, helping him sit up. "How long was I out?" "A few minutes, I think. You slipped and fell."Jack grips his head, almost able to feel the pounding beneath his fingertips. It isn't the first time he's gotten beaten up. He was always at the receiving end of someone's fist in school — protecting a friend from their school bully — yet he can't remember undergoing this amount of pain before. His whole body absorbs the damage, everything from his sore muscles to his aching bones. "Ethan," Jack says, pushing against the rough rocks, forcing himself to stand. "What?" Kate answers, confused. "What about Ethan?" "He was here." "Jack." Kate studies him, wondering how hard his head got hit on the way down. "You banged your head." "No! He was here!" "You have to stop! It's over, Jack!" She grabs his arm and forces the man to stay still, finding it hard to keep his attention for more than a few seconds. "The rain washed away the trail. Even if he was here, there's no way to know—" "You want me to give up? Just go home while he still has them!" "We can regroup, Jack! Start again tomorrow!" "And what if tomorrow is too late!" He snatches his arm from her grasp, giving a harsh and unwelcome glare. "What is your genius plan then, Kate?" The woman blinks in dismay, unsure how to answer, and Jack figures as much. She hasn't thought that far ahead, and why would she? It's not her child in danger. "Jack!" a voice calls out in the distance, and there's no mistaking that southern accent. It's Sawyer. His voice raises Jack's spirit from its current disheartened status, giving him new hope. "Sawyer! Over here!"Mud splashes onto Jack's jeans as he dashes into the jungle, both men continuing to shout until Sawyer bursts from the trees. With one glance, all the hope that surged Jack's veins shifts to horror. Maddie dangles in the man's arms, skin pale and void of any life, hair a mess of dark brown and murky red. Sawyer's hand trembles underneath her head, his torn shirt sleeve now soaked in blood. "No, no, no." Jack rushes over to take his child and places her frail body in the moist dirt. Tears cloud his vision, caressing both her cheeks as if his touch will wake her from this curse. "Maddie? Sweetie?" "She's lost a lot of blood, Jack," Sawyer says, kneeling on the opposite side.Jack checks her pulse, going numb when nothing beats under his fingers. He places his palm over her mouth and nose and waits for hot air to puff against his skin, but again, nothing. "She's not breathing," he says before putting both hands on her chest to begin CPR. A thick, moist air lingers in the atmosphere, and the jungle seems quiet, nothing but the sounds of Jack losing himself as he tries to revive his baby. Kate averts her eyes, unable to handle the sight of the once lively little girl now lying still in the dirt. "Come on, sweetheart! Don't do this! Breathe!" He moves his mouth to hers, breathing air into her lungs. Sawyer strokes her tiny hand, watching her chest rise from her father's assistance, and he can hear Jack's voice break. "Maddie, baby, you have to take a breath!" He moves back to chest compressions, trying hard to stay positive but failing miserably. "Come on. Breathe for Daddy, baby." "Jack," Kate says, tears streaming down her face. She grabs his shoulder and attempts to pull him away. "No!" Jack shoves her off in anger, resuming his efforts. "She's not gone! She can still pull through!" His compressions turn violent, beating his fist to her chest, determined to save his child. "I'm not giving up on you, Maddie! Breathe!"Each brutal hit causes Sawyer to flinch until his stomach can't handle it anymore. He gets up and walks a few steps away, turning his back on everything. Liquid wavers over his bottom eyelids and the skin of his face grows red and heated. He has seen and done many horrendous things throughout his life, like watching a man get beaten to death over a bad con, getting stabbed in a prison fight, and even watching his father blow his brains out. He can tell a million horror stories, but none of them compare to this moment. Knowing someone did this to a helpless child, his sweet little Maddie. He can't handle the image, and it burns through him like he's nothing more than tissue paper. Against his better judgment, Sawyer peers back, seeing Jack lose all control, and a tear rolls off his cheek. "Jack," Sawyer says, walking over to kneel beside the man. "She's gone." He puts his hand on Jack's shoulder and receives the same treatment as Kate. "No! She's not!" Jack pushes, but Sawyer wraps both his arms around him, holding on tighter. "Stop! She's gone, Jack!" "Get off me!" Jack punches and pokes, not going easy on the arms that have trapped him. "Let go of me, Sawyer! I can save her!" "Jack, it's done!" Sawyer shouts, and Jack's movements finally slow, sorrow taking hold of him. "It's over." Jack shudders in the man's arms, his back gliding down Sawyer's body until he's just a slump against his lap. Ragged gasps for air pour out before he breaks into a hard sob, and it hurts Sawyer more than he ever imagined. All he can do is hold him, let him know he isn't alone. "I'm so sorry, Jack."Jack pulls away from him, crawling over to rest his head on Maddie's chest. No matter how hard he tries, he can't get enough oxygen. His hands tug on his little girl's limbs, reaching up into her hair and holding her face. "Don't leave me," he pleads, repeating those exact words over and over until his voice goes hoarse. A stillness sets in all around them, into the very jungle itself, leaving nothing but Jack's raw cries in their ears.✧
White vinyl flooring repeated across Jack's vision while pacing back and forth in the hospital lobby. Over thirty minutes passed with no update since his daughter's birth, leaving him to picture the worst scenarios possible. He's now waiting for a nurse to come and break the inevitable news, his first child didn't make it. He still felt her dead weight in his hands, her newborn skin tinted purple. It's a sight that would haunt him forever.
"Jack." A calm voice reached Jack's disheartened brainwaves, and he turned, greeted by a cup of coffee and his father's warm smile. "Positive thoughts, Son. I'm sure everything is fine."
Refusing the coffee, Jack scoffed and walked past him with his head hung low.
"How can you say that?" He shuffled towards the waiting area and sat in one of the many empty chairs. It's a quiet night at the hospital, the way it always was during most late hours. Christian sighed, lost for words of comfort, as usual. He looked at Scott and his wife, sitting a few rows behind Jack, and Margo gestured her hands, encouraging him to talk to their son. A little reluctance settled in, but Christian eventually found some courage and sat beside the young doctor. "A minute into her life, and I've already failed her, Dad. I panicked. She was so small and helpless, and I…" Jack leaned over, resting his forehead on his palm.
"Jack," Christian said, gripping his shoulder to pull him back, their eye contact making it hard for Jack to control his emotions. "We all need a little help sometimes, Son. Any first-time father in that situation would have struggled, even if they're one of the finest doctors I've ever known." Christian gave another reassuring smile — the kind he so rarely ever did — and the soft glow of his blue eyes seeped into Jack's own. He gave his father a half-hearted grin with a slight tremble in his expression.
"You really think she'll be okay?" Jack said, almost sounding like a child himself. As soon as Christian began to answer, the cries of a baby came from down the hall.
Both Christian and Jack looked down the hallway, watching Dr. Rom walk in their direction, a small pink bundle in his arms. The instant he saw him, Jack stood with a racing heart, his anxiety rising from the child's high-pitched cries. He jogged over to meet the doctor halfway, his speed slowing once the doubts of his mind caught up.
"There's someone here to meet you, Dr. Shephard," Dr. Rom said, his lips curving. He swayed the child, calm and steady, yet it didn't seem to soothe her at all. Her cries are loud and frightening, and Jack's already looking for reasons to blame himself. Does she know he's the one who couldn't save her? That he failed her so early in her life? Perhaps infants can sense such things. Dr. Rom chuckled, reading all the insecurities written on his face. "She won't bite," he said, waiting for him to take his newborn.
Jack wanted so badly to hold her, protect her, be anything she needed from him, but he wasn't sure he was ready. All that damn fear still haunted him. It was ridiculous. She's nothing more than an innocent baby, his baby, and he won't let fear keep her from him any longer. His mouth parted, hands clammy while he held his breath and took the small child in his arms.
"Hey, sweetheart. Shh," he said in a soft yet firm voice. "It's alright."
For a few seconds, her cries continued until the sound of her father chased off the uncertainties of seeing the world for the first time. Her tears turned to soft baby sniffles, and she studied Jack with big, curious eyes. Those eyes are the first thing Jack noticed; bright green eyes that sparkled from the leftover tears. Seeing her now, she's the least frightening thing ever to cross his path. Her body is plump, like a freshly picked peach, and her cheeks are rosy red with liquid still drying on their surface. All she did was stare at him as if remembering him by heart.
Dr. Rom stepped closer, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "Hmm. This is the first time she's stopped crying since I got her breathing," he said. "She must know who you are."
A tiny blush traveled over Jack's cheeks, and he stood taller with pride, trying to hide his smile. "Is Haylee alright?" Jack asked, anxiety rising in his chest.
"She's more than fine," Dr. Rom said, raising his hand to calm the man's worried mind. "She'll need some bed rest, but other than that, you've got a very healthy mother and child on your hands." With a small pat on Jack's shoulder, Dr. Rom smiled. "Congratulations," he said before taking his leave.
Jack's hand ran over his child's thin, dark hair, its velvety fuzz giving him some comfort. He looked up, watching the man walk further down the hall.
"Ethan!" Jack said, getting the other doctor to stop and peer back. No particular words articulated in his mind, almost like he forgot what he wanted to say at all. All he knew was this man saved his child's life, and he couldn't let him walk away without saying something. "Thank you."
An enormous smile overtook Dr. Rom's lips while giving a subtle nod. "My pleasure, Jack."
As Dr. Rom left them, the baby gave a cooing sound that grabbed her father's attention. He laughed while her tiny fingers wrapped around one of his, saliva bubbles forming upon her baby lips.
"Hey, baby. The world isn't so terrifying now, huh?" He grinned while his body swayed from side to side. "Between you and me, I can't remember why I was so afraid either. You're not so scary."
"Jack?" Margo said from behind.
Jack turned to find all three grandparents waiting eagerly, and they soon circled him, looking at the newborn with wondrous expressions. Their excitement almost had the child startled all over again, but she was quickly soothed in her father's protective arms.
✦Jack lifts his head from his daughter's motionless chest, taking in the sight of her soft, innocent face. More tears drop from his eyes, his mind not wanting to accept the truth. She isn't dead. Children outlive their parents; that's the way it works. Who says a lack of breath means hope can no longer endure? He's brought people back from worse. Rebellious energy surges through his body, his head shaking at the thought of defeat. He can't accept it. He won't. "No." Jack's fist rises and crashes down to Maddie's chest again. "No!" "Jack!" Sawyer says, reaching over to stop him, but Jack pushes him away and into the mud. "Come on, Maddie!" He hits her with more force, adrenaline building in his stomach. "Come…" His fist comes down solid as a rock, "on!" Maddie's eyes open wide, and she gasps, choking on the air that fills her lungs far too fast. All three adults look stunned, watching the girl wiggle and cough in discomfort. "Maddie?" Jack holds her face, running his mud-covered hand over her hair. Grinning like a crazy fool, Sawyer rushes to her free side, and Kate moves closer behind him. Maddie doesn't make eye contact with any of them and instead scans her surrounding as terror floods her tiny body. Everything is too bright and loud, and her heart's beating faster than usual as she continues to gasp for oxygen. Her thoughts are a jumbled mess, unable to form something coherent. Jack pulls her near, his body warm and familiar, but it's too crowded. She pushes away from him, fighting his arms as her lungs struggle to regain stable breaths. "It's okay, Maddie. Breathe deep." "Deep breath in, Baby Girl," Sawyer repeats after Jack, holding one of her hands.It's uncomfortable and intense, but Maddie closes her eyes and takes a single agonizing breath. Her lungs accept the action, and she gradually breathes like normal. Her body eases from its panicked state, staring into her father's eyes when her wounded head starts to throb. The pain is too much, and it spreads throughout her skull, burning every corner of her mind. She breaks into hard sobs, shifting again as she reaches for the injured area. "It's alright, Monkey," Jack says, covering her wound before she can reach. "I know it hurts." "Jack," Sawyer says, pointing at the man's occupied hand. Blood covers the surface of Jack's palm, Maddie's injury oozing more with each movement. Concern overthrows what once was relief and happiness, all while Maddie screams and cries against Jack's shirt. He looks at Sawyer, whose face expresses the same amount of dread. "We need to get her to the caves right now!" Jack says.✧
Quiet beeps came from Haylee's hospital room machines while Jack entered with their child in hand. Haylee laid with her eyes shut, breathing softly, still exhausted from the birth. At the sound of Jack's footsteps, she looked over at the pair of them, a smile gracing her lips. It would be her first time seeing the baby, and Jack was eager to see the beautiful moment play out.
Haylee lifted her head and asked in a low, swollen voice, "Is that her?"
"No," Jack whispered. "I stole this one from the couple next door."
She giggled, hitting his arm once he made it to the bedside. Tired and sore, she wiped the mist from her eyes, captured in a daze. Every move she made had her body protesting with agony, but all she cared about was holding her baby.
"Can I?" she said, raising her arms.
"Of course."
Haylee moved to make room on the bed, and Jack placed the child into her mother's hands, putting an arm around Haylee's shoulder while observing from behind.
"Hello, my love," Haylee said, running a hand over the infant's lumpy head. "I'm your mama." She dreamed of this moment all her life, and now that it's here, she wasn't able to hold back the tears. "I've waited a long time to meet you."
The newborn peered at the woman, reaching for her face and touching whatever she found in her path. Haylee took hold of her hand, kissing her tiny fingers, her skin soft and warm upon her lips. It's everything Jack imagined, and he couldn't stop his grin from growing larger with each precious moment.
"You had us worried there for a minute, kiddo," he said, resting his chin on Haylee's shoulder.
"Oh, Jack, she's perfect." The woman looked back at him, happiness rising on her cheeks. "Thank you."
"Thank you?" Jack laughed. He did the easiest part of the entire ordeal, so gratitude didn't seem the appropriate response. "Don't thank me, Haylee. All of this was you."
Haylee thought about his statement, the words spinning around her brain. She looked back at their child, watching the poor thing fight to keep her eyes open and awake. It was the most darling sight the woman had ever seen. Half of this beautiful creation belonged to someone else. She may have done most of the work, but she couldn't have done any of this without Jack.
"No." She shook her head and stared back at him with a smile. "We did this together." Her hand took hold of his, gripping tight with a loving smile, one that Jack returned.
"Together," he said, leaning his head against hers before looking at their child again, now fast asleep in her mother's arms.
"We never even figured out what names we liked," Haylee said with a soft sigh. "Any ideas?"
Jack lifted his head and peered into the distance as if he had left the perfect name floating around in the air. What name would encompass all the things he saw by simply looking at her? She was resilient — the first few minutes of her life testified to that — kind-hearted and beautiful like her mother, no doubt about it. A million names raced through his head, yet nothing seemed quite right. Sophie? Emma? Grace? No, no, and no. They were all lovely, but not for his baby girl. Her name needed to be something special, something that held meaning.
"The doll your mother destroyed. What did you call her?"
Haylee looked at her husband, and the corners of her mouth slightly arose, attempting to hold back a smile. "Madison. I called her Madison."
"Madison..." he paused and ran his hand over his child's fuzzy head of hair. "Yeah, little Maddie."
"You think so?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes, unsure how committed he was to the name. She didn't want to cry or get emotional over it, but her brain was a mess of hormones.
"Yeah, that's her name," Jack said, seeing a droplet slide down Haylee's cheek. He wiped it away and kissed her forehead. "She found her way back to you."
✦Maddie's cries of pain echo throughout the jungle, awakening every creature in the darkness. Heat flushes the child's cheeks, rising to the tips of her ears, and the pounding on the back of her skull grows worse from her father's quick movements through the trees. She struggles against his chest, wanting him to stop, tired of people dragging her around. "We're almost there, Maddie. Almost there," Jack says with deep breaths. Darkness has fallen on them, leaving the trail home harder than ever to find. His gut guides him, along with Kate, who took the lead while Sawyer follows behind. "Over here!" Kate shouts a little way ahead.Lights from the cave come into view, and its curious occupants instantly crowd them as they enter. "Move! Move!" Jack pushes past the swarm of people, hearing an endless chatter of "what happened?" and "how can I help?" from the scared survivors, but he can't focus on any of their needs for reassurance. "Sawyer!" Jack looks back as he approaches the medical supplies. "Here, take her. Put her on the mat over there." Sawyer doesn't hesitate to take the weeping child from his arms, setting her down as instructed. It's painful to watch her struggle, the girl gripping at her hair like she wants to rip it out, but Jack is quickly by their side again, kneeling beside her with some alcohol, two rags, and a tube of antibiotic cream. "I need you to hold her arms," Jack says. Sawyer's eyes shoot up as an uneasy expression covers his face. "What?" "If I don't clean the wound, it'll get infected. I need you to hold Maddie still so I can do that." Even with the explanation, Sawyer continues to hesitate, and Jack's frustration grows. "Sawyer!" "Yeah, yeah!" Sawyer grabs Maddie's arms, attempting to soothe the child as he does. "This is gonna sting, baby," Jack says, parting the dark strands of bloody hair around the wound. A child's pain tolerance doesn't stretch that far, and Jack is sure Maddie is no exception. As he gets ready to pour the alcohol, he notices how loose Sawyer's grip is on Maddie. "Sawyer, you're gonna wanna hold tight." "Jack," Sawyer says, his voice breaking. "I don't think I can—" "Sawyer." Jack places a hand on his shoulder. The man before him is frightened, afraid his strength will hurt the small girl further than she's already been. Jack can see that fear. He sees it shining so clearly in Sawyer's eyes, yet he isn't worried. "You won't hurt her. I promise."Sawyer lingers on the doctor's features for a few seconds, drinking in his gentle words of encouragement before gripping Maddie's wrists tighter, praying he's correct. The bottle of alcohol tips in Jack's hand and pours onto the open sore, sending Maddie into an immediate protest. She kicks and screams — her vocal cords now raw and sore from the persistent usage. Sawyer's firm grip keeps her in place, her tiny yanks no match for his brute strength. The alcohol stings like a thousand needles slicing into the wound, purifying its surface. Jack works fast, grabbing the rag and wiping away dried blood and dirt clumps. After removing as much muck as possible, he untwists the cap from the antibiotic cream and applies it to the area. "Kate!" He glances over his shoulder, the woman standing close by, as he expects. "Pour some water into a cup, then find the sleeping pills and crush half of one into it." "Sleeping pills? Jack, are you sure—" "Just do it, Kate!" The woman stiffens at his tone but does as he asks, and Jack attempts not to let her doubts sway him. He knows very well that sleeping pills are not for children, but his options are somewhat limited given Maddie's fragile state and the lack of supplies. Now that the injury is clean, Jack picks his daughter up, soothing her tears as he sits against the cave wall. He grabs the fresh rag beside him and places it on the wound, protecting it from the outside world. "Shh, sweetheart. I know it hurts." "She gonna be alright?" Sawyer asks, watching Kate bring the water to Jack. "She'll be fine. She just needs some rest." Jack moves the cup to his daughter's face, but she squirms at the offer, still reaching back towards his hand that holds her injury. It hurts more than she can fathom, the pressure on her skull making it hard to focus. "Hey, hey, Maddie, calm down. I need you to drink the water, baby." Maddie only opposes more at the request. Her whole body aches while her head might as well be on fire, making compliance the last thing on her mind, but her father is persistent. "Maddie, you need it. Daddy's trying to help you feel better." "You gotta drink, Shorty," Sawyer says, and their desperate pleas are enough.The child lets her father put the plastic cup to her mouth, drinking its essence. The water hits her throat like rain on a hot, dry summer day, and she places a hand on the cup, now gulping down every drop of water. "There you go, sweetie," Jack says as she finishes.Thirty minutes pass before the sleeping pills capture the child's restless mind, and by then, the chaos of the caves has settled. Sawyer stepped out to "get some fresh air" as he put it, but Jack knows he's actually checking the perimeter of the caves for anything suspicious. It's comforting for Jack to see he's not the only one looking out for Maddie, and he never thought he would say it, but Sawyer is someone — perhaps even the only one — he can count on without question in that regard. The father rocks his baby from side to side, brushing his hand through her hair and imagining what might have been if he wasn't able to revive her. "How is she doing?" Locke asks while steadily approaching. He's covered in mud, presumably having just returned with Boone. "How would you be doing?" Jack's tone is uncivil, and his eyes are dark and unforgiving. "Figure that out, then apply the age difference. That's how she's doing." Locke grabs the upper legs of his cargo pants, pulling them up as he kneels in front of them, and same as before, he's serene and controlled, exhibiting no ill will or contempt. "That's a fair point."His gentle manner makes Jack tense, holding Maddie closer to his chest. There isn't a logical reason for this reaction, as Locke hasn't ever shown any problematic behavior. Michael doesn't trust him with Walt, but other than that, everyone else has nothing but kind words to say about the older man. But Jack himself can't stand the way he walks around like he's lived on the island his whole life. And what he said to him before, that the island is special. It was strange. "Did you need something, John?" "I know this is a sensitive subject, and it's not my intention to upset anyone. But, do you think…" Locke's nose lets out a puff of air, rubbing a palm over his shiny, bald head. "Do you think we can get her to talk? Tell us what happened out there?" Jack tilts his head, giving him a long, blank expression. "Are you kidding me, Locke?" "She's our only lead to find Claire, Jack." "Don't you think I know that!" Jack says in a raised voice, quieting down when Maddie moans and shifts against his arms. "Has she not experienced enough trauma? You honestly think interrogating a frightened five-year-old about how she got kidnapped is going to go over all that well?" "It wouldn't be like that. All I'm saying—" "No!" "Everything okay over here?" Sawyer's smooth southern accent draws their attention, and Locke stands, still calm as the other man comes between him and Jack. Locke studies him, paying close attention to the protective energy that radiates forward. Yet it doesn't scare him. It does quite the opposite, kindling a sense of curiosity once he realizes this protective shield is as much for Jack as it is for Maddie. "Everything's fine, Sawyer," Locke says, chuckling to himself. "Well, ain't that dandy?" Sawyer flashes a charming smirk, aiming to counter his opponent's mild nature. "So, unless you're needin' an updated lesson on consent, I reckon you mosey yourself on outta here, Locke."Locke's head lifts somewhat while Sawyer's stubborn, callous gaze lingers on him. His body language is pretty straightforward, and Locke's wise enough to acknowledge that picking a fight with Sawyer is a poor decision, so his next move is rather evident. He nods with a sluggish blink, peering towards the ground, then back to Jack. "At least think about it," Locke says. "Should you change your mind, I'll be around." He turns back to Sawyer, whose expression remains unchanged, and passes by him with a narrow grin.The blonde's eyes follow him until he is out of sight, allowing his shoulders to drop with a slow exhale. He isn't afraid of John Locke, not in the slightest. It's the exhaustion that weighs him down, realizing this is what it's like to have a family to protect. Wait, family? He shifts his view toward Jack and Maddie, reflecting on that thought. "Do you think he's right?" Jack asks, watching the other man stroll over. Sawyer groans, feeling every sore muscle as he sits beside the concerned father. He would rather not answer that question, too tired to contemplate what tomorrow should or shouldn't bring. "I don't know, Doc. Let's not worry 'bout it tonight," Sawyer says before reaching over to touch Maddie's hair.Jack sighs, and his heart sinks at the sight of Sawyer's affection. If he hadn't been out there to save her — for the third time — she would not only be dead, but her body lost to him, waiting to be consumed by hungry bugs and animals. God, the thought alone kills him. "Thank you, Sawyer," he says in a quiet voice. "If you hadn't been out there…" "Easy, Doc. All I did was bring her to you." "You saved her life, Sawyer. I…" Jack looks away into the distance, guilt filling his eyes when he turns to Sawyer again. "I should have listened to you about Ethan." "Uh-uh! Don't go pullin' that shit, Doc." "What shit?" "That shit where you blame yourself like you should know better! None of us could have known for sure." "You did!" Jack says, slightly aggravated. "You knew right away that something wasn't right with him. And you warned—" "Because I'm a con man, Jack! Of course I—" Sawyer's mouth drops open, and he freezes. Oh shit. He can't even look at Jack because he's sure he'll see an array of painful emotions peering back at him. It just came out. How could he be so careless, letting information like that slip? He has gotten too comfortable, thinking there's no reason to hide, and now he'll reap the consequences. Sawyer closes his mouth, choking down an uncomfortable and heavy gulp before he finally looks over to face Jack. He imagines he'll see rage first, then maybe a hint of betrayal, and he wouldn't blame him. Yet what he imagines and what he witnesses are two different things. The man's expression is almost blank, with a bit of shock mixed somewhere in between. His head slowly turns away from Sawyer, looking straight ahead as the back of his skull falls back to rest against the cave wall. "Yeah," Sawyer says, disheartened by the response. "Just let that sink in, Doc. I ain't no hero." "Sawyer." Jack darts a sharp glance at him, and that bit of anger Sawyer had expected moments ago comes to the surface. "You've saved Maddie's life multiple times since we've been here."A subtle smile crosses the blonde's lips, despite trying to hide it. The defensive way Jack said it reassures him, hoping it's a sign that he doesn't see him any different. And although Jack doesn't seem to want to dwell on it, Sawyer is confident the matter will bounce around the doctor's head for days until he figures out how he feels. "Anyway, Doc, sure I found her, but you're the one who brought her back." Their eyes meet once again, and a full grin now captures Sawyer's cheeks. "We did this together." Affectionate energy settles between them for a good minute, but as always, Sawyer doesn't let it last long. He grips Jack's shoulder with a single pat, rocking him back and forth in a guy friend kind of way, gaining a chuckle from the other man. "I'm just glad she's okay," Sawyer says. "I know it wasn't easy for you to see her like that." "Yeah, well..." Jack exhales in exhaustion. "It's not the first time, but definitely on another level of terrifying." "Wait." Sawyer looks at him, filled with confusion and shock. "Whatd'ya mean it ain't the first time?" "She almost died at birth," Jack says. "And you're just telling me about this now!" Jack shakes his head and laughs. "It's not exactly a hallmark memory for me, Sawyer." "Well, I'll be damned, Doc. How the hell did you save her that time?" "I didn't, actually," Jack shrugs, a smile still playing on his lips. "There was this other..." He pauses, his vision peering into the distance while his brow furrows, the murky memory reaching the forefront of his mind. "This other..." he repeats, slower this time, and soon the smile he wears starts to fade. Sawyer stares at him, then to the spot he's fixated on, finding nothing of interest there. "Doc?" "Son of a bitch." "What?" Sawyer says, brimming with curiosity. "What is it?" "Sawyer." Jack leans forward, and Maddie moves in his arms. "I remember." "Remember what?" "Ethan. He was there. He was there the night Maddie was born."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
So, obviously I've been struggling to write for a while now, but I was at a point a few weeks ago where I suddenly became super focused on writing and actually enjoying it. Then some pretty emotional things happened in my life, leaving me feeling somewhat empty and shattered now. Still I try to write even if it's a few words or changes. After all, writing this story has gotten me through a lot of emotional moments in my life. I suppose it's almost tradition at this point. The support I still continue to receive here always baffles me, and it's seems more and more lately. A comment here, a kudos there. It truly helps keep me going. So, once again, I've decided to leave a little sneak peek here for the next chapter. Thank you all for the love and support. I hope I'll be able to post the next chapter very soon.
Setting: Jack is holding Maddie as they take a walk down the beach when the stop by to see Sawyer. Maddie is deeply traumatized after being kidnapped by Ethan.
Jack sighs, kissing the top of his daughter's head. "Sorry," he says on Maddie's behalf. "She's not herself."
Sawyer grins, placing his hand in the child's hair. "That's okay, Shorty."
Maddie remains the same for a second, looking lifeless as if Ethan stole every ounce of spirit from her body. But that sedated look soon turns to a scrunched-up expression before she breaks into a sob. She grips Jack's shirt and buries her face in his neck, clearly embarrassed and overwhelmed.
"Hey," Jack says, pulling her shaking form closer. "It's alright, Baby. You're safe."
Maddie quivers in his grip, burying her face deeper into him. She seeks his comfort, and as Jack soothes her with calming reassurances, her trembling starts to subside. Gradually, her breathing becomes steady, her body relaxing again as she stays leaned into the safety of her father's embrace.
"Pretty bad, huh?" Sawyer asks. It's less of a question as they both know that Maddie's anxieties are without question.
Jack rocks his baby from side to side, kissing her forehead softly once more while resting his cheek against her head. "Yeah," he murmurs, keeping his worries at bay, not wanting to burden Maddie with them. His strength must endure, no matter his feelings, because if she knew the truth, that he's just as afraid of Ethan's return as she, it would surely make things worse.
Sawyer breathes a heavy breath through his nose and shakes his head, his expression filled with anger. "I swear, I ever see that piece of shit again, I'm gonna—"
"Sawyer." Jack glares at him, gentle yet firm, and Sawyer understands his meaning.
Not in front of Maddie.
"Right," Sawyer says, slightly shifting his feet. "Of course." They quietly stand for a moment before he speaks up again because he can't let this unnerving feeling go. "You know, I was thinkin' on what you told me 'bout Maddie's birth. Why didn't you ask the hospital about Ethan beforehand? Why let him help?"
Jack scoffs slightly, but it's more out of humor than offense. "Sawyer, do you actually believe I'd let some stranger participate in my wife's labor without ensuring his legitimacy?" Sawyer half-shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets as stupidity creeps up. He supposes that's strike two for the day. Of course, Jack would check something like that. "Everything he told me checked out, and the hospital gave me access to everything. It was all signed and documented accordingly. Ethan's as legit as they come."
"All do respect, Doc, but just because he had 'em doesn't mean they were legit," Sawyer says, his confidence returning.