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Pete’s heard his fair share of vampire jokes. From the odd hours he stayed awake, to the “edgy” way he dressed, to his tendency to occasionally hang upside down off stuff during shows, he’d gotten a lot of comments. He never thought he’d have to deal with a real vampire, or that the vampire in question would be his best friend and the lead singer of his band. There had always been something a little… off about Patrick. Joe and Andy had noticed too. He always insisted on pulling his hat down over his face. He adamantly stated it was because of stage fright, but that didn’t explain why he’d do it even when not on stage, or why he was extra fastidious about it when outdoors. He was the palest dude they’d ever encountered, and he seemed to use gallons upon gallons of sunscreen whenever he needed to play an outdoor gig. Like they didn’t know it was physically possible for a person to use that much sunscreen. He also seemed very… particular about what he ate, and garlic butter cups seemed to have an effect on him more equivalent to alcohol shots. And that wasn’t even getting into his etiquette about entering the studio… “Dude, you have a key, you don’t have to have us let you in every time,” Joe stated, opening the door for Patrick for what seemed like the 1000th time. “It’s called being polite,” Patrick growled as he pushed past Joe the second it was open. “There’s polite, and there’s just weird,” Andy, voice of reason, pointed out. It was always like this. They had to let Patrick in anywhere. Of course the other three had their jokes about it, and how it seemed to match common vampire stories. None of them took it seriously, because of course vampires weren’t real, and if they were, the fact that Patrick was one? Even his voice would fit, though. Weren’t vampires supposed to have compelling voices that lured their victims in? It wasn’t until their increasingly growing fanbase started noticing things that Patrick himself seemed bothered by any of it. It started with a smattering of posts, then a couple fanfictions… and then it seemed like the majority of their fans were on the “OMG Patrick is a vampire!” bandwagon. As the fan theory grew in popularity, Patrick seemed all the more agitated about it. “Relax, ‘Trick, it’s just the kids having fun,” Pete tried to reassure the distressed redhead when the latter brought up the issue at a band meeting. “No! It’s not! I don’t want to end up with a stake through my heart at the next show!” “Oh, come on, it’s not like anyone believes…” “It’s true though! Guys, I’m sorry I’ve held out so long about this, but I am a vampire!” Patrick was met with blank stares, and Joe tilting his head and giving a flat “What?” “I’m a vampire. You heard right. Blood-sucking creature of the night, you know?” More disbelief, more “Come on man, you’re joking, right?” “Ugh, come on, what do I have to do to prove this to you? Uhh… I’ll… umm… drink the rat that we keep seeing behind the garbage cans!” Andy’s shocked and sickened look nixed that plan. “Well, ok, if an animal is off the table, one of you guys is gonna have to volunteer. Don’t worry, if I don’t take too much blood, you won’t turn. Just so you know, I’ll be breaking my vegetarianism for this.” “Oh, and the rat would be vegetarian?” Andy asked, still clearly disgusted. “I’m a vegetarian vampire, which means I don’t drink blood from people, but I still need goddamn blood to survive. It’s in the definition of vampire. I can’t go full vegan like you, Andy,” Patrick retorted with a frustrated glare. “Alright, so who’s it gonna be? I can bite you on the wrist instead of the neck if you feel that makes it less gay or whatever.” Pete, ever the self-destructive one, stepped forward, rolling up one of his hoodie sleeves to expose his wrist, offering it to Patrick. He wasn’t going to lie to himself; Patrick had a nice mouth and he liked the idea of having that mouth on him even if it was in… unusual circumstances. Patrick gently took Pete’s arm in his hands, supporting it. His eyes dilated at the sight of the veins, his bared teeth lengthening into fangs. Pete was momentarily afraid he was about to get his whole hand bitten off. What followed, however, was quite different. Patrick almost delicately brought Pete’s wrist to his lips. He quickly pricked the skin with his fangs, opening a vein, before closing those gorgeous lips over the wound, lapping at the stream of blood. Right away, Pete noticed how the wound seemed to go magically numb rather than hurting, or how freely the blood seemed to flow from such a small bite. It felt sufficiently weird that, alongside what he’d seen with Patrick’s teeth, he was convinced that this was actual vampirism and not his buddy having prop fangs and a newfound blood fetish. Pete also found himself getting aroused, heart beating faster and blood pumping. He wasn’t sure if it was some kind of vampire magic to get more blood to flow, or if it was because his very attractive best friend’s tongue was fluttering over the delightfully sensitive skin of his wrist. It was over in less than a minute, Patrick giving one last decisive lick that seemed to seal the wound. Looking down on his wrist, Pete saw a bruise forming, like a very unusually-gained hickey. He seemed none the worse for wear, aside from the bruise and the slight discomfort in his pants. Gaining his wits, Pete realized he had to tell Joe and Andy the results. “Well… I guess ‘Trick’s a vampire.” Patrick found himself met by a barrage of new questions, ranging from the practical (“How do you find ethical sources of food?”) to the overly-personal but inevitable (“So if you go down on a girl during that time of the month, is it a free meal?”). He tried to answer the questions to the best his temper would allow. With everyone convinced that Patrick wasn’t going to eat them, and Patrick glad that his bandmates still accepted him, the band meeting ended. Joe and Andy packed up and left first, leaving Pete and Patrick alone. “Sorry to put you on the spot like that, Pete. It didn’t hurt too much, did it?” “Nah, dude, you’re fine. That was weird, not gonna lie, but you’re fine. Just… why tell us now?” “I’m worried. Like legit worried. I try to live as normal a life as I can, but so many people seem to have figured it out…” “They won’t.” “What?” “I said, they won’t. I… I think I have a plan to protect you.” Pete’s already been protecting Patrick, deciding to be more of the frontman to shield him. Pete wasn’t sure if it was because they were that close friends, because he’d been genuinely enthralled by vampire powers, or if the looming specter of his Unacknowledged Bisexualitytm was showing itself again, but he felt even more protective of Patrick now. “How?” “Well, let’s face it, you don’t look like the stereotypical vampire.” “Oh. Right. Because a vampire would be tall, dark, and handsome and I’m none of the above.” “What, no, you’re definitely handsome!” Pete sputtered, “But yeah, your height and red hair aren’t exactly traditional vampire material. Now, who do we have that fits the stereotype better? Tall—uh, well, taller than you? Luxurious dark hair? Piercing eyes that make the maidens swoon?” “Joe?” “No—uh, crap ok I guess Joe does technically fit that definition, but I meant ME!” “You?” “Yeah! I’ll be the vampire!” “Really?” “Yeah, c’mon, you know I already get vampire jokes thrown my way anyways. Let’s just… play into that a little more.” “I don’t know if that’ll work…” “It’s worth a shot! And hey, you know how the studio wants us to do another video? I think I have just the right theme for it…” As the band prepped for the video, Pete made a point to flaunt his nocturnal schedule a bit more. He also started making a point of getting into people’s personal space and hovering near their necks more than usual, especially, for extra irony points, with Patrick. It didn’t take long for the fandom’s “vampire radar” to start turning to the new target. Naturally, for the video the band chose to cast Patrick as the lead vampire hunter, with Pete as his vampire friend assisting him on the hunt. Halfway through getting fitted for prop fangs, Pete discreetly asked if he should be worried about this being “vampire-racist”, and Patrick had to hold back his laughs as he reassured Pete that it was all good. The entire video was fictional in premise, but Patrick did lend one authentic touch. The drink he prepared to help Pete control his powers in the video was in fact the recipe he used himself behind the scenes. The “16 Candles” video proved the final, well, nail in the coffin, for the fandom’s vampire!Patrick theories. All creature-of-the-night-themed attention moved to Pete, with some even wondering if previous vampire “clues” had been some kind of promotion for the video. As the band continued to rise in fame, only Pete, Andy, and Joe were left to wonder if vampires really could enthrall entire audiences with their voice alone.