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Captain Ruddy Smith sat in the pilot's chair of the Free Trader Mandalay and watched the blue-green planet of Avalon fill the forward viewscreen. "Point two five impulse," he directed the co-pilot, his wife Seiko Ishikawa, as she handled the controls to bring them into an orbital trajectory.Behind them stood a tall, black-haired young Vulcan, fascinated by the sight before him. It was only the second time Sapel had seen his home planet from space and it had been six years since he had watched it recede into the vastness. That time he had stood on the bridge of the USS Enterprise with his parents and sisters at his side. He was now 21 and fully grown, on his own and fulfilling a promise he had made to himself long ago. He had been born on this planet and had grown up here in its wild vastness. He had vowed to return and now he had made it home."They're building a space station," Seiko commented to her husband as the vessel slipped into orbit. Coming around the limb of the planet was a skeletal structure, barely more than a half-made sketch of what it would become, a lattice of beams with a small habitation bubble attached to one side for the construction crew. Here and there on the edifice they could make out spacesuit clad figures and the blinding arc of welding as new sections were attached."Yeah," Ruddy replied. "The Feds aren't playing at taking over this planet. That's the new starbase in this sector. Can you pinpoint any settlements down there?"Seiko brought up a schematic overlay on the screen. "I get four scattered over the northern continent. Looks like that one there, in the middle of plains, is the biggest. You want to land there?""Yeah. We might try the others later on. I'm not sure what they'll have to trade, but they should be willing to buy. We'll see."For the first time, Sapel spoke up. "I think I might recognize some of those land features. See that volcano off to the west and that mountain range? I know where those are. We camped in that valley by the volcano for nearly a year, until it erupted and we had to run for our lives. Looks like it's still active."Smith grunted in acknowledgment, but didn't turn his gaze from the curve of the planet. On the aft view, something had captured his attention. "Uh, oh, we got company." Behind them, another ship had fallen into orbit, one of Starfleet design."Unidentified ship," the comm panel crackled. "This is Federation starship Excalibur. You are in restricted space. State your identity and what you're doing here."Smith exchanged glances with Seiko and pressed the comm button. "Excalibur, this is Free Trader Mandalay, Captain Rudyard Smith in command. We are here seeking aid. No harm is intended.""Mandalay, this planet is under Federation control," the commander of the other ship replied. "You will break orbit and leave the area immediately.""Negative, Excalibur," Smith answered. "We have sustained damage and need to land to make repairs." Seiko shot him an alarmed glare. They weren't in any trouble and the ship was running fine, but she kept quiet. "Do you wish to assist us, Excalibur?""Repeat, Mandalay, break orbit and leave the area!"Without warning another ship, an alien one, appeared out of nothing and fired on the Federation starship. "What the fuck?!" Smith shouted. "That's a Romulan!!"Excalibur had fired back and the area was suddenly filled with a crisscrossing of lethal red and green phaser beams as the two antagonists exchanged fire. Mandalay was too close to the barrage, stray shots impacting against its shields.As the freighter rocked, Smith glanced over this shoulder at Sapel. "Strap in, kid!" he said then flipped on the shipwide intercom. "Hang on, folks! We've got to make a run for it!" Then he spoke to his co-pilot. "I've got the ship. Get ready for a rough ride!"Seiko surrendered the controls and reached to tighten her crash webbing but stared at something on her boards. "Ruddy, I'm picking up another ship. It's another Romulan warbird!"She had barely finished speaking when the beam of a phaser seared across the ship's path. "They're firing on us!!"Immediately, Smith caused his ship to dive into the upper atmosphere at a perilously steep angle. Alarms went off as friction with the air shot the hull temperature to a dangerous level. Another phaser beam scarcely missed them as they did so."Well, they didn't like that!" Smith commented and threw the ship into a wild loop, narrowly avoiding another shot from the Romulan starship. "Don't worry. They can't follow us down," he assured his partner. Her face had gone white and in the seat behind the captain's chair, Sapel was doing his best to keep from vomiting. He'd never been on a ride like this before!A third phaser shot suddenly found its mark on the aft section of the trader ship, knocking them into a spin. Seiko screamed and Sapel lost his battle to retain his lunch, spewing puke over himself and the back of the pilot's seat.The Mandalay tumbled as Smith fought to regain control. The thrusters coughed, died, and then fired. Gradually, the ship righted itself and then plunged into the mountainous bulk of a huge thunderhead in their path. Immediately visibility was gone, only the featureless surrounding whiteness of the cloud body showing on the screen. Lightning flashed around them and hail hammered into the hull, boiling as it contacted the heat from their chaotic descent. The altimeter showed that they were plummeting groundward at an alarming rate and the ice had now changed to torrential rain. Intensifying updrafts in the storm buffeted the ship, tossing it like a leaf."Seventy-eight thousand feet!" Seiko managed to say, watching the figures on the altimeter read off faster than she could keep up. Ruddy was fighting the controls, sweat pouring down his face. "Seventy! Sixty-five!"Oh, Goddess! Sapel thought to himself, squeezing his eyes close and gripping the armrests of his seat. We're gonna die! I just got home and we're gonna die!"Bring the nose up!" Smith ordered tightly. All over the bridge, alarms were going off, adding a cacophony to sound of screaming descent. "Shut that noise off!!" The inertial dampers were struggling to keep g-forces from squashing the occupants of the ship but all of them felt the pressure.The cockpit door swished open and a short red-headed man managed to enter and take his seat in the engineer's chair next to Sapel. Strapping himself in, Axel Swenson turned to his board where lights were firing off information at a manic rate. "You're getting it, Cap'n!" he barked. "Main engine is out but thrusters are all firing. We're leveling off!"Seiko continued to watch the altimeter drop. "Forty thousand! Thirty-five! Thirty!"They still couldn't see anything, enveloped in the turmoil of the thunderhead. Hail and rain continued to pummel them and the hundred mile-an-hour updrafts shook the ship and threatened to tumble them again. Swenson's fingers ran over the control board, playing the thrusters in counterpoint to the wild winds."Twenty! Fifteen! Ten!"And then, at four thousand feet, they broke through the cloud base, still falling but slowing slightly. Smith urged the shuddering freighter clear of the rain shaft and into clearer air. Below them stretched yellow prairie, devoid of any sign of life. And it was coming up too fast! There was a colony down there somewhere but they couldn't say where.Seiko slapped the comm, hoping beyond hope that there was someone down there to hear them. "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!" she shouted into the comm. "This is Free Trader Mandalay! We're going down! To anyone who can hear us! Emergency!! Mayday!! We're crash--"And then time ran out. As the ship's thrusters fired one last discharge to slow them, the ship slammed into the ground with a thunderous impact. Then all was silent except for the hiss is escaping steam from the white hot thruster units and the rumble of the shock wave of the impact.* * *"Commander Spock!" called the man who was monitoring the comm unit and colony power displays.The tall middle-aged Vulcan, no longer a commander in Starfleet but now holding that rank as leader of Federation colonies here on Avalon, stepped from his office and walked to the control board. "Yes?" he asked."Sir, I just picked up a distress call. It only lasted for a few seconds and then it was gone. It was a mayday from a ship, saying they were crashing, and then it cut off."Spock's brows bunched together as he leaned to look at the screen. "Did they give a coordinate?""No, sir. That's all I got." The young man was busily running his fingers over the board, trying to pinpoint a location."Call the Excalibur," Spock directed. "They should be close enough--"A red light illuminated on the control board and the man interrupted. "Sir, they're calling us!" He punched the button and spoke into the in-built microphone. "Alpha here, Excalibur.""This is Captain Xavier Martinez, Alpha. Is Commander Spock available?""Spock here," responded the Vulcan."Commander, we have just intercepted a small ship attempting to enter orbit. Then two Romulan warbirds decloaked and fired on them and us. We returned fire on the Romulans but they cloaked again and we lost them. The smaller ship made a run for it down toward the planet but not before the warbird scored a hit on their aft engine unit, and then we lost them in a large storm cell. I believe they have crashed just to the west of you. We are picking up their location on our sensors. Are you able to render aid to them?""Affirmative, Captain Martinez. Can you send us their coordinates?""We can. Sending now." The board's computer chattered for a second then went quiet. "We are going to continue our search for the Romulans, Commander," said Captain Martinez. "They are violating treaty being in this part of space and this could be a ruse by the Romulans to divert our attention from other ships. We'll return as soon as we can.""Affirmative. Spock out." Then he turned to the young man next to him. "Have you located the ship's location?""Yes, sir. It's 21.3 miles west, at Grid 12.""Very good. See if you can contact them and send a general alert to emergency services. I'll meet them at the landing field in ten minutes." With that, Spock turned and strode back into his office to gather what he would need.* * *Sapel only gradually came back to consciousness, still strapped into his seat by the crash webbing. Smells assaulted his senses – the iron stench of blood, the sour tang of vomit, urine and feces, the sharp burning of wires and circuits, the acrid smoke of flame devouring the interior of the ship. It was the last that registered. Smoke equaled fire which triggered the panic to get out!Fumbling with nerveless fingers at the harness that trapped him, Sapel could not find the latches. The smoke in the cabin thickened and now the sound of crackling filtered through his ringing ears. Distantly he thought of his crewmates, but his concussed brain could only focus on saving himself. But still he could not open the webbing straps.Pulling in desperation at different parts of the harness, the side of his right hand touched his hip and encountered something different – the leather-wrapped haft of the knife he wore at all times. It was something that had been drilled into him by his father as he grew up – wear your knife at all times. You never know when you'll need it.And now he did indeed need it. Forcing his fingers to move, Sapel drew the blade from its scabbard, got it into his fist, and sawed against the webbing. One strap came loose, then another. The smoke in the cabin was choking him, but he worked determinedly, despite the pain that was flaring and his inability to see from the blood dripping into his eyes. He could feel his face and hands burning from the heat. A third strap and then the last one snapped apart.Sapel threw himself out of the seat and fell flat onto the decking, stunning himself for a few seconds. Coughing harshly, he managed to get his knife back into its sheath and began a painful crawl toward the forward hatch. He could hear someone screaming, but he was blind and his lungs felt paralyzed by the smoke. His only thought was to locate the hatch controls. Groping sightlessly, he found the opening switch and pressed it frantically. It didn't work and he pounded it with his fist, beginning to lose consciousness again from smoke inhalation. He could now feel his clothing catching fire and pounded even more insistently on the control.There was a sudden screech and the hatch slid back into its open position. Unfortunately, the fresh oxygen pouring in was like dousing accelerant onto the fire and it flashed into a full conflagration through the cabin. Without further thought, Sapel launched himself out and slammed into the grass surrounding the ship, rolling to put out the smoldering of his clothing and then crawling away as far as he could.Collapsing, he coughed and retched, trying frantically to get his singed lungs to draw in air. Behind him he could hear the fire roar, along with the shrieking of metal as it melted. Distantly the continuing sound of a scream from someone trapped within the ship filtered through the roaring. A detached thought as blackness overcame him urged him to go back for his crewmates, but it was impossible now. The ship was fully engulfed. Everyone else on the ship was dead.With a final sigh, Sapel lost his battle to stay awake and sank into darkness.* * *For an endless time, Sapel dropped in and out of consciousness, his seared lungs straining to draw in oxygen. During those times, his fingers gripped the bed of grass he was lying on, pulling himself forward a few feet, away from the withering heat of the burning ship, then passing out once again.Over and over he did this until abruptly the ground gave way beneath him. For a dizzying few seconds, he tumbled down an embankment and into water, where he lay in blessed coolness, soothing his burns in the stream.Somewhere at the edge of his consciousness, he heard a new sound, a mechanical one, but he barely registered it before blackness took him again.* * *

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The rescue group had followed the towering column of smoke, visible from the colony, to the crash site. Spock already had little hope of finding anyone alive but there was always the possibility. The two skimmers contained eight men who carried firefighting equipment and all five of the medical and research personnel led by Dr. Christine Chapel. She too despaired of finding survivors after seeing the smoke and flames. There had never been a ship crash like this on Avalon, although she couldn't help but think back to their early years here on the planet when she and her husband had found the wrecked Romulan ship far to the south of this location. After the attack by Cardassian pirates, Spock had destroyed the ship, burning it to prevent any other aliens from finding it – and them – ever again. Christine could still see in her mind's eye the distant plume of smoke rising into the atmosphere and her heart thudded now in her breast as she recalled that desperate time for her and her family.As the skimmers drew as close as they dared and settled onto the grass, the various men and women got out and clustered together, watching the starship burn. Christine moved up close to her husband and leaned against his arm. Spock glanced down at her, perceiving her thoughts, and shook his head. "It's too late," he murmured. "No one could survive that."The heat from the fire was such that the fire fighters couldn't approach and Spock took out his communicator and flipped it open. "Alpha Colony to Excalibur," he spoke into it."This is Excalibur," a voice came back, that of the communications officer."This is Commander Spock," the Vulcan answered. "We need help here. The ship you were pursuing has crashed and is in flames. We need fire suppression units here. Our equipment cannot handle a fire this size. We also need casualty recovery personnel. There are no survivors but the bodies will need to be removed and identified.""We'll send shuttles as quickly as we can, Commander. We're still on patrol for the Romulans and can't bring the ship back into orbit just now. Are any of your people injured?""Negative. We will stand by. Spock out." He closed the communicator and stuck it back into his belt. As he did so, he saw that Christine had her tricorder out and was scanning the ship."I'm reading nine … no … ten organic signatures," she said. She shook her head. "All of them Human. There's not going to be much to recover, I'm afraid." Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. "Those poor people. I wonder who they were and what they were doing here. I hope there's enough undamaged DNA to identify them and help us notify any family they may have had."Spock put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her briefly then released her, turning his eyes to the sky. A shuttlecraft was arcing down from the clouds, then was followed by another. The Excalibur must still be close enough to send help quickly. Both craft touched down nearby and people dressed in yellow heat abatement suits began to spill out, carrying large-nozzled equipment. They immediately began spraying down the burning ship and the colony's fire fighters joined them as soon as they could get close enough.As the people worked to knock down the blaze, there was a soft beep from Christine's tricorder and she brought it back up, gazing at it with a frown on her face. Still staring at the small screen, she turned and began to wander away in the direction of a small creek some distance away."Christine?" asked Spock in curiosity. She didn't answer him and he followed her."I'm getting another life reading," she said, twisting her body from right to left in order to zero in on the reading. "It's faint but there. Maybe somebody got out after all. It's down there." She indicated the creekbed and started down the bank, Spock following."There is somebody!" she cried and picked up her pace. A man lay face down, his body partially in the water, his clothes still smoldering from the fire. His skin was blackened and burned, his dark hair singed. Chapel scrambled down the bank and knelt beside him, lightly touching her fingers to his throat. "He's alive but just barely," she said. "Spock, help me."She reached to turn the man over onto his back and his face came into view for the first time, bleeding, scorched and slathered with mud – and the doctor gave a screech and fell back against her husband, eyes locked onto the burned features before her."Oh, my God, Spock!!" she cried. "It's Sapel!"* * *Gradually Sapel clawed his way back to consciousness, although he didn't open his eyes for a while. Instead he lay trying to identify where he was and why he felt so strange. He couldn't move his arms or legs and his face felt encased in some glutinous mass that froze his facial muscles. The air smelled strange and there were sounds he couldn't place. Drawing in a breath, he let it out as a heavy sigh … then a voice he hadn't heard in too long a time stopped him as he concentrated on it."Sapel! Oh, my baby! Oh, my darling!"He let his eyes crack open and turned them to his left. He couldn't move his head, but he could see the woman sitting beside him, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Mama…" he whispered, his voice rough and barely there. He wanted to cry, but his body was too dehydrated, and he couldn't lift his arms to hug her. "Mama…""Don't try to talk, son," another voice, a deep one, spoke and he shifted his gaze again to find the tall man who stood behind her."Papa…" Sapel was even more confused. Was he home? No, he must still be on Vulcan. This was obviously a hospital and he must have been terribly hurt somehow.The sounds coming from above his bed quickened and he saw his mother look up at them, her expression concerned. Then she turned her gaze beyond him and said, "Doctor!""I see it," a strange voice answered and a man he didn't know stepped up to the other side of his bed. This man was clad in a satiny blue tunic with a triangle shaped insignia on his chest. He reached to touch something on the panel and Sapel felt a soothing coolness spread through his body. Then he fell back into blackness and knew no more.Some indefinite time later, he awoke and perceived the same sensations as when he had first come back to consciousness. This time, however, the room was somewhat darker and Sapel felt better. But he still couldn't move except for his eyes. Looking to his left, this time he saw his father sitting alone beside him, reading a padd. But as soon as the man became aware that Sapel was awake, he set it down and rose to lean over toward him."Sapel," Spock said softly. "How are you feeling?""Where's Mama?" the young man asked instead."She had to go back down to see about the children," replied Spock. "She will be back shortly."Where am I? Why can't I move?""You are in the intensive care section of the Excalibur's sick bay," his father told him. "You were badly burned and they have you encased in regeneration gel. You have a spinal block to keep you from moving and damaging yourself while you heal. You are also being held in a sterile field with oxygen pumped in to help you breathe."For a while Sapel digested that information, his brain still fuzzy. Spock let him lie quietly until the young man turned his gaze on him again and asked, "How did I get hurt?"Spock's expression became solemn and his dark brows came together in a concerned frown. "You do not know?" Sapel didn't answer, clearly confused. "What is the last thing you remember?"Again Sapel lay silent, searching his memory. "I was watching us approach Terra Two from space. The Captain told us to strap in…" He looked back up at his father. "Did we crash or something?"Spock nodded and answered quietly. "Yes, chai. Your ship crashed.""Are the others okay? Are they here, too?"For a few seconds, Spock was quiet then replied softly. "No, my son. I grieve with thee, but they didn't make it out. They are dead."Sapel was shocked silent and then his memories came flooding back – the spinning, plunging descent to the surface, the fire and smoke and shrieks, the frantic crawl away from the wreck, the panic—Squeezing his eyes shut, Sapel began to scream.* * *It took Sapel ten days before the regeneration gel did its work, during which he was kept sedated. Occasionally, he drifted up to a twilight state, during which he could make out voices around him, but most of them made no sense. At other times, he dreamed and his nightmares twisted around the Mandalay and its crew. The people he knew – Bully, Ruddy, Jewel, Seiko, all the others – were dying and he could do nothing to help them. The crash played over and over in his head and, when it did, something flowed into his veins and he knew nothing until the next time his brain tried to wake.Finally, one day his mind came back to consciousness and he knew something had changed. He could move, for one thing, and the gel mask on his face and body was gone. He also perceived that he was no longer encased in the sterile field and oxygen bubble. Experimentally, he drew in a deep breath and his lungs worked, pulling in the distinctive air of the hospital bay, and he turned his head to one side on the pillow."Mama! He's awake!" cried a new voice, one he thought he should recognize.His eyes opening, he saw that the voice belonged to a teenage girl, her long brown hair tied back into a ponytail and her blue eyes twinkling through tears. She was grinning down at him and reached to gingerly touch his shoulder."Hey, bro," she said. "You look terrible!"Sapel grinned back at his sister, his own eyes moist. "Hey, Jenn. Long time, no see," he said, his voice choking with emotion. "Thanks for the compliment."They were joined by their mother, Christine Chapel, and she bent down to kiss him softly on the forehead. "I can finally do that!" she declared. "How are you feeling, baby?""Pretty good. What happened, Mama? Where am I?""You were badly hurt," Chapel answered, smoothing his hair back from his forehead. What there was of it, however, because his head had been shaved and the dark thatch was only beginning to grow back. "Do you remember anything?"Sapel thought. He remembered the terrible crash and the fire, but these memories were still not clear. The constant anesthesia he'd been under for days still made it hard to think. "I'm on a ship?" he ventured."The Excalibur," his mother said softly. "They're the patrol ship in this sector. You were badly burned, sweetie," Christine continued and reached again to stroke his forehead. "We didn't have the facilities at the colony to treat you properly. There wasn't another Federation ship close enough to help you. You nearly died.""Maybe I should've," the young man muttered, turning his head away from his mother and sister, the crash coming back in his memories."Sapel, don't say that!" cried T'Jenn at the same time as Christine said, "No!""What'd they do to me?" Sapel asked. "I couldn't move for a long time.""Honey, the doctors here had you encased in a sterile field while your skin was regenerating." Christine sighed. "You would have been terribly scarred but fortunately the burns were mostly second degree with a few third degree on your face and hands. You've healed now to the degree that you can begin rehab to make sure that your limbs work properly. Can you lift your right arm up?"Sapel tried but found that he was so weak he could barely accomplish the task. The arm flopped back down onto the bed. He tried with his left arm and each leg, feeling more strained with each try. Finally, he collapsed back and turned desperate eyes on his mother."Why do I feel this way, Ma? I'm weak as a newborn kit!""You'll get your strength back pretty soon," she answered. "For one thing, you've been on intravenous feedings since you were brought here. Dr. Logan – he's chief surgeon here – has agreed that you can start eating some real food now. Are you hungry?"Sapel assessed his empty stomach and was surprised to find only mild hunger pangs. "Yeah, a little.""Good," Christine smiled. "I'll go see if I can find you something. Jenn, stay here in case he needs anything." She rose and walked out of the room.Jenny settled back into the chair and shook her head. "You were a mess, Sapel," she declared. "Ma and Pa wouldn't let me come up to see you until now. They didn't want me or Kai to see you until you recovered.""Where're the kids? How are they?""They're at home," his sister answered."Home?""On Terra Two. At the colony. We've got a real house there." T'Jenn smiled. "It's not much more than a prefab hut, but it's lots better than living in a cave or a cabin like Pa built.""I liked the cabins Pa built!" Sapel protested."Yeah, but they didn't have heat and running water and an indoor toilet, did they?""Where is it, Jenn? Is it near where we used to live? In the Valley?""That's not too far, but the colony is built out on the plains west of there." His sister smiled again. "Hey, when you get well, maybe we can ride over there so you can see again. Can you ride a horse?""Horse? You mean like a hox?""Yeah, sorta, but no horns and they only have one toe instead of three. They brought a couple of dozen out from Earth. They're used to explore close around the colony. Cheaper than firing up a flitter every time you need to go somewhere. Fuel costs money and Papa says we haven't started producing anything to export yet, so we're not paying our way.""That's why we – the traders I was with – were coming here," Sapel said and his mind flipped back to his friends on that ship. "We were coming here to trade."Before they could talk further, Christine returned bearing a tray. "Lunch time!" she stated cheerfully. It wasn't much, just some broth and crackers. And Sapel found that he had little appetite for even that. "Your stomach has been empty for several days," his mother explained, once he had gotten the meager meal down. "You'll get your appetite back soon enough, especially once you start doing rehab.""May we come in?" asked a male voice.Sapel turned his head to the left and saw that three men had entered his sick bay room, one of them his father, Spock. The others were a tall man in blue who he recognized as Dr. Logan and a short swarthy man in command gold and captain's braid on his sleeve. It was this man who had spoken.He stepped up next to the bed and said, "Hello, Sapel. I'm glad to see you're doing better. I'm Captain Martinez."Sapel didn't know how he should reply until his father looked across at his sister and spoke softly. "T'Jenn, go down to the rec room and get some lunch. We need to talk to Sapel for a while.""I wanta stay!" she protested, but Christine was suddenly serious and commanded, "Scat! Do what your father tells you."Grumbling, the teenager left and the adults drew up chairs around the bed and settled down on either side, leaving Sapel even more curious and growing alarmed. "What's this about?" he asked, looking back and forth to either side.Captain Martinez leaned in slightly. "Sapel, we need your help. We need to know what ship you were on and who the people were who were on it."Suddenly Sapel remembered and nearly shouted. "You! You're the one who shot us down! My friends are dead because of you!"Christine laid a comforting hand on her son's shoulder as Martinez shook his head. "No, son, we didn't fire on your ship. There was a Romulan ship that we'd been chasing and your ship just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Romulans decloaked and fired on you and hit your ship. There was nothing we could do after you entered the atmosphere but keep after the Romulans until they dived back into the Neutral Zone. We came back as soon as we could but it was too late by then.""But I don't understand!" Sapel replied, distressed. "What had we done to them? Why did they shoot at us?""The Romulans have their own reasons, chai," Spock answered softly. "This planet used to be in Romulan territory and it was ceded to the Federation following a short war. Both sides claim it, despite the treaty. You remember that we told you how your mother and I had been stranded there by a Romulan subcommander seeking vengeance on us for something that happened long ago. Technically, Avalon is still within the Neutral Zone, and the Romulans want it back.""But what's that got to do with us?" Sapel pleaded. "We were just coming here to trade."Captain Martinez leaned forward again. "Who were you with, Sapel? What was your ship?""Free Trader Mandalay," he answered tearfully. "The captain was Rudyard K. Smith. His first officer was his wife, Seiko Ishikawa. I worked in cargo with Second Officer Bully Hardman and his partner Jewel…" He continued to name off the rest of the small crew, in his mind picturing their faces and hearing their voices and laughter. He was crying by the time he finished."I'll give him a sedative," murmured Dr. Logan but Sapel shook his head and wiped his face."No! I don't want to be under again! I'm okay. Just give me a minute."Christine continued to rub his shoulder, tears in her eyes as well. "I don't want him distressed too much," she ordered the men. "He's a long way from well yet."They were all silent while Sapel collected himself then Captain Martinez continued. "Did your captain know that Avalon was restricted? Why were you coming here?""Didn't you hear me?" Sapel challenged him. "We were Free Traders. This was new territory we were exploring. We were just coming to trade!""And…?" Spock prodded."And … I was coming home," Sapel answered almost sullenly, looking his father square in the eyes.Martinez glanced up at the Vulcan. "What does he mean 'home'?""He was born here," answered Spock. "As were our two eldest daughters. You know our history…" He nodded at the woman sitting across from them. "Dr. Chapel and I were marooned here for twelve years.""I think we can talk about all this later," Christine answered, glaring at the men. "Sapel is tired. He needs to rest.""Yes," Martinez replied, nodding. "We'll continue this later before Sapel leaves so I can file my report to Starfleet.""Leaves?" Sapel looked back and forth at his parents, plainly puzzled. "Am I going home? To Terra Two?""No, son," responded Martinez before Spock or Christine could answer. "No, you're going to be transferred to the Hospital Ship Walter Reed. She'll be in orbit in about 40 hours from how. We've done all we can for you and we don't have the facilities to handle your rehab. Plus we've been in orbit here for two weeks now and we've got to get back on patrol. No, it's going to be a long time before you can go down to that planet … if ever. You're in big trouble."Sapel suddenly swooned with dizziness and all the color drained from his face.Christine recognized the signs and leapt from her chair, shouting, "Emesis basin! Quick!"A nearby nurse grabbed one from a shelf and shoved it into her outstretched hand. Christine immediately jammed it under her son's mouth as he turned toward her, leaning over the side of the bed. She just made it as he gagged and vomited up his lunch. After a minute, he flopped back onto his bed, sweat beading his wan features, and gasped for breath.Dr. Logan was on his feet as well, shoving both Captain Martinez and Spock back. "I told you it was too soon for this! Get out of my way!" He bent over the young man on the bed. "Oxygen!" His efficient nurses were already there with the equipment and the breathing mask was slapped over Sapel's mouth and nose. "Careful that he doesn't aspirate. He may vomit again."But there was no more retching and soon Sapel was sleeping peacefully, color beginning to flow back into his face. After a few minutes, Dr. Logan straightened and faced his captain."He isn't strong enough for questioning!" the ship's surgeon stated forcefully. "Why did you have to break it to him that way anyway?! He's been severely traumatized and injured. I don't intend for him to die of shock by having his only incentive for living cut off!"The captain bristled. "You forget yourself, Doctor! I am in command of this ship, not you!""And I have authority when it comes to the patients in this sick bay!" Logan shot back."And you both forget yourselves!" Spock broke in hotly. "This is my son and I have final jurisdiction on what happens to him!""Amen!" added Christine. "I won't have him harmed any further!"For a moment there was a stand-off between the four then Spock looked at Dr. Logan. "Is he well enough to be transferred to the Reed, Doctor? If so, I would like him taken there as soon as that ship is in orbit."For a few more seconds, the captain and CMO of the Excalibur continued to lock eyes, then the doctor turned to face the Vulcan. "Yes, Commander. His skin has healed enough that there should be no infection, but he will still need to undergo quite a lot of treatment to prevent any scarring. He will also need extensive psychological therapy to be able to get through the trauma of the crash. Reed has an excellent counsellor on board. It will take a while, but he'll be back on his feet within a year, I expect.""Good," Spock answered and then saw his wife give a small motion of her head, beckoning him to join her in a more private spot.He did so and Christine glared up at him, her eyes blazing, and said in a soft voice, "Spock, I won't have him on this ship a minute longer than it takes for the Reed to get here! And I won't leave him alone anymore! You go get Jenny and get her back home. I'm going to stay with Sapel and you can come up later and take over for me. I've got my baby back and I'm not losing him again!"* * *

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The Federation Hospital Ship Walter Reed was an ungainly looking craft, spherical in shape with a secondary hull that held two warp nacelles. The secondary held an engine room that fed power to the warp engines that could drive it at warp six to speed it to areas that needed its services. Above a specially shielded deck lay ship services such as laundry, rec rooms, galley and ship's mess, transporter room, and cargo. In the main section were labs, medical facilities, rehab areas, and operating rooms. The upper third of the ship held hospital areas, ICU, beds for 200 patients, and the bridge with communications and navigation. The ship was not armed but the hull was brightly painted with a gigantic red cross on both sides, the nearly universal symbol for emergency and medical services, and it was heavily shielded from attack.When Sapel was transported from the Excalibur to the Reed, Christine had gone with him. She was determined to stay by his side as much as possible, only leaving him to eat and sleep. Spock stayed behind on Avalon, both doing his job as the colony commander and watching over his four younger children. T'Jenn, now sixteen, and T'Kai, now twelve, were put in charge of the four-year-old twins, Soran and T'Larin, while Spock was at work. Spock also engaged one of the women on the educational staff to help out, keeping up the children's school work when not in formal classes. Christine's absence was a hardship, but everyone knew the reasons for her being gone and were glad to aid the family.The Excalibur left orbit to resume its patrol along the Neutral Zone and the Reed was called to a nearby colony planet to aid in fighting a plague that had struck the inhabitants there. Christine offered her services but the CMO answered that she had a full-time job with Sapel's rehab and recovery. Plus, she couldn't risk being exposed to the disease which might infect Sapel in his still weakened state. Christine accepted the verdict and worked harder than ever with her son.Sapel's skin had healed totally now, leaving a few scars on his face and hands where he had been burned the worst. The rehabilitation specialists on the ship were still working to repair those marks. Meanwhile, the young Vulcan had two major rehab sessions – physical therapy to restore his strength and psychotherapy to help him deal with the awful ordeal he had gone through. His mother helped him with the first, but the second one was dealt with privately with the ship's psychologist.It took eight weeks before he was declared strong enough physically to walk and function. Psychotherapy would likely take years for him to work through his PTSD, however. Unfortunately, the colonies on Avalon did not have a resident psychologist on staff. This was something he would have to work out for himself.Back in orbit around Avalon, the Reed doctors bid Sapel and Christine farewell and best of luck, then mother and son beamed down to Alpha Colony. Spock and the children were waiting for them. T'Jenn, T'Kai, and T'Larin immediately hugged their elder brother while Soran was a bit more standoffish. He didn't really remember Sapel. T'Larin didn't either, but followed her sisters' example.While the kids got reacquainted, Christine moved to lean against Spock, slipping her arms around his waist. Spock returned it gently, then said softly, "You look exhausted, t'hyla. How are you?""Tired, but glad to be home." She looked up at her tall husband, smiling. "How are you and the kids? Did you have any problem while I was gone?""No. Jenny and Kai were very good in carrying out their duties. I know the little ones are especially happy to have their mother home, though." His voice lowered into a near whisper. "But not as much as I am!" He bent to lightly kiss her. "When you are recovered, I will demonstrate how much I am pleased that you are back!"Christine's eyes twinkled and she laughed. "I just want to sleep for about three days first!" she whispered back. "I'm so tired I'm ready to collapse right here!"Spock gave her a squeeze, then straightened and moved to greet his adult son. "I am pleased that you are recovered, cha'i," he said as he faced Sapel and raised his hand in ta'al."Me, too, Papa," Sapel answered, returning the Vulcan salute, but his face suddenly crumpled and he fell against his father, holding him tightly and breaking into tears. "I'm so sorry, Pa!" he sobbed. "It's all my fault! If I hadn't been so stubborn and determined to have my own way, none of this would have happened!"Spock held him for a moment, still uncomfortable with blatant emotion, but was nearly overcome himself to have his son back and well. "It is past, Sapel. Kai'idth. It was a mistake on my part to insist that you act and live as a Vulcan when you had little background for that path in life. You are home where you belong now, where we all belong I suspect."Sapel pulled away and wiped his face. "Jenny tells me that you have an actual house now, not a cave or hut. I'd like to see it.""You will. I think it's time we all go there. Mama is exhausted and so are you," Spock replied and gathered his family together, herding them out the door to the skimmer he used around the colony.* * *The colony's private residences were all prefabricated modular constructions, not beautiful but functional. Spock and Christine's home was a tidy 1,000 square foot residence with three bedrooms and two baths. Besides the adults' suite, one bedroom was shared by T'Jenn and T'Kai, and the other by the twins. While Christine had been away with Sapel, Spock had had another room constructed for his eldest son, complete with bath, both because there was no place for Sapel to sleep and because he would need his privacy.Now Christine and Sapel surveyed the new addition to the house while the little kids eagerly acted as tour guides, excitedly pointing out the single bed, the tub and toilet, and the window that overlooked the plains to the south."All right, you two," Christine finally interrupted. "Out! Sapel needs to rest and so do I. And don't you go bothering him, either! You'll see him at dinner and he'll be here for a long time!" She shooed the five-year-olds out the door and turned back to the tall young man beside her. "Will you be okay here?" she asked him."Yeah, thanks, Ma." Sapel bent down and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Thanks for everything!"Christine bit back a sob, determined to keep her emotions under control. "We'll call you when dinner is ready." And she slipped out the door, closing it behind her.Sapel sighed and set his duffle of meager belongings on the floor. The bedroom was sparsely furnished but still more luxurious than his quarters on the Mandalay – and that thought caused so much pain that he nearly buckled under it. Stumbling to the neatly made bed, he threw himself down on his stomach and cried for a few minutes, muffling the sound with his face buried in the pillow.Finally regaining control, he rose and went into the bathroom, where he splashed cold water on his face and scrubbed the tears away with his hands. He would have to deal with his grief later, when he could handle it better. Now, he stripped off his jacket and opened the duffle, unpacking what little he had, his toothbrush, toothpaste, and hair brush, his shaving equipment, and sleeping attire. As he put the toiletries away in the bathroom, he paused to survey his reflection in the mirror over the sink.His hair had grown back out, most having been burned in the fire and the rest shaved as he underwent reconstruction treatments. His beard had been shaved off as well and he pondered whether he would let it grow back or not. There was a trace of a scar on his left cheek but high enough on his face that it shouldn't interfere with a beard. Anyway, if he managed to carry out his plans, he would be growing a beard anyway.Sapel turned his head one way then another, seriously appraising his reflection. His hair was as black as his father's, pointed ears showing through the shaggy mane. Deep brown eyes looked back at him over which slanted dark eyebrows rose, looking every bit as Vulcan as Spock. But he wasn't really Vulcan. He was three-quarters Human and his blood ran red instead of green.He had Spock's lean features, almost gaunt, and a casual observer would never have realized that he was not a native of that far away planet. No, Avalon – Terra Two – was Sapel's home. He had been born here and lived his first fifteen years here. Now he was home … and he intended to stay here, no matter what he had to do!* * *Supper over, Christine shooed the twins toward the second bathroom for their nightly soak before bedtime, Soran complaining as usual. Jenny and Kai cleared the table and fed the dishes into the washer, then went to their room to do homework before taking their turn in the bath and getting ready for bed.It was only Spock and Sapel left sitting at the dining table, the older man with a cup of hot tea cradled between his hands and the younger toying with what was left of his dessert.At last Spock asked softly, "Is there anything you wish to discuss, Sapel?""Yeah, actually there is," the young Vulcan answered and looked up to meet his father's deep brown eyes. "What happened to my knife? The one I was wearing at the … at …" He broke off, unable to say it.Spock rose and left the room, going in the direction of the master bedroom suite. He returned almost immediately and laid on the table a long sooty leather scabbard with a large knife handle protruding from one end.Sapel's eyes shown with moisture as he reverently picked it up and caressed it. Seating himself back across from his son, Spock said, "I kept it for you after you were transferred to the Excalibur's sick bay. It is Romulan?" Sapel nodded. "Where did you get it?""On one of the planets we stopped at." Sapel pulled the blade from its sheath and inspected it. The finish still shone brightly and the edge was keenly honed. "I'd wanted one like yours and Ma's since I was a kid. When I saw this one in a weapons shop, I bought it immediately. You always taught me never to go anywhere without wearing my knife. I didn't and it saved my life.""Indeed?" responded his father, sipping his tea.Sapel nodded. "I was trapped in my seat on the ship. I couldn't get the latches loose and I used my knife to saw them through. It's the only reason I escaped--" He suddenly teared up and looked away, clutching the knife to his chest.Spock reached to touch Sapel's trembling hand and felt the anguish he was experiencing. Spock sent waves of comfort to his son. Sapel shook his head and looked back up. "I'm okay, Pa," he said, running the heel of his hand across his eyes. "Thanks.""Perhaps it is time for you to retire," his father answered. "You do not have your full strength back yet. We can speak again tomorrow." Sapel rose and started for his bedroom when Spock added, "I ask just one thing of you, Sapel." The young man paused and looked back. "Be sure that you do not leave your knife where the little ones can get at it. Soran is, as your mother would say, 'feeling his oats'. He is much too young to be trusted with a weapon but wants to feel grown up. Please keep the blade secured where he cannot access it.""Don't worry, Pa. I remember that it was only after my kahs'wan that you let me have a stone flake as a knife. I'll make sure Soran doesn't get his hands on this." Sapel started again from the dining area then laughed a little and looked again at his father. "He's like me when I was little, isn't he?""Worse!" Spock replied. "Now that you are back home, I must begin to work with him diligently to control his emotions.""I'll help," the younger man answered. "I think he's looking for attention and feeling shut out with your move and being the youngest and all. He just needs a big brother." Sapel smiled. "Night, Pa.""Good night, my son. Sleep well." Spock watched the tall young man go down the hall, thinking about how different Sapel's life had been from Soran's. Perhaps his younger son just did need a mentor, after all.* * *

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Sapel took to walking out every day. The vast grasslands around the colony beckoned him and he explored his surroundings thoroughly, mostly alone and in solitude where he could meditate and attempt to put his life back in perspective. He walked north, south and east, but never west. His nightmare lay in that direction, a crumpled and blackened heap of metal half-buried in the prairie where it had slammed to earth. He couldn't face that yet.Sometimes Spock would walk with him, allowing his son to speak if he wanted or simply holding silence if he did not. Occasionally Jenny would go out with him. She was closer to Sapel than any of his other siblings and she was sixteen now, nearly a woman and mature enough to listen and understand if her brother wanted to talk.Christine was generally busy at the colony medical facility, but she savored an evening stroll with her eldest if she could manage it. She tried not to psychoanalyze whatever he talked about, although her medical training made that difficult. She realized that Sapel was suffering from what had been called PTSD and was thoroughly traumatized by the crash and the deaths of his friends. Part of it was survivor's guilt. Why was he the only one who had managed to escape the crash? Why hadn't he gone back into the inferno to rescue his shipmates? Why? Why? Why?No, this was something that her handsome son would have to work out for himself. All she could do was offer him love and support.It was late spring on the prairies of the northern continent, green with fresh grass and flowering trees. On the plains, Sapel could see herds of mesohippus with new foals, bison with gamboling calves, antelope grazing and flicking their tails, new babies at their sides. The trees were full of nesting birds, the parents zooming about catching flying insects and taking them back to feed their demanding chicks, only to resume the hunt a few minutes later.Sapel loved this time of year. It made him feel refreshed and as if he had never left his home planet. Today his father walked with him, likewise enjoying the fragrant air and blue skies. Both men had been silent and after a while, they sat down on a rock outcropping to rest. For a while there was only the sound of the breeze rustling the grass and trees, then Sapel spoke up."Pa, can I ask you a question?" he said."Of course," Spock answered. "You may always ask anything of me."Sapel paused. "What did Captain Martinez mean when he said I'd never see Terra Two again because I was in a lot of trouble?"Spock sighed, looked down at his feet and then back at his son. "You are not here legally, cha'i," he replied. "You know that Avalon is a restricted planet and only people approved by the Federation Colonial Board are allowed here."Sapel turned fierce brown eyes on his father, brows lowered like the wings of a hawk. "I won't go back!" he declared. "I'm a native of this planet! I'll fight to stay here! I've lost too much getting home!"The older Vulcan lifted a hand to quell the younger's tirade. "I have no intention of allowing them to force you back," he said mildly. "Your grandfather Sarek has been notified that you are with me, with your family, and will use all of his significant power to stop any attempt to return you to Vulcan. Had you not been impulsive in your 'escape' from Vulcan, you would have been approved to return with the rest of us."Sapel looked stunned and dropped his gaze to mentally go over his boarding the Free Trader ship and leaving Vulcan as a fugitive, his admission into their ranks and the circuitous path back here to the newly settled colony. He had always been strong willed and determined to find a way to get what he wanted. It was part of the reason he had survived on this wild planet and what was leading him toward his ultimate goal."I'm as valuable as any other colonist, maybe even more than you and Mama," he said eventually. "I spent a lot of time with the Teela'u before the raid by the others. I know their ways and how to speak and work with them.""Sapel, the Teela'u were all wiped out," Spock interjected. "Picku was the only one of her people left and I doubt she is still alive.""Well, nevertheless, the Teel people, then. I know there are several tribes and I'm sure I'll be able to speak and work with them. Anyway, I know how to survive on my own and I can be an explorer for you." Sapel straightened. "We only explored a very little part of this continent. That's what you're all here for, isn't it? To explore? To find out as much about Two as you can?""Avalon," his father corrected him quietly."To me it's Terra Two. That's the planet I was born on!" Sapel answered forcefully. "Papa, I came back for a reason – to live here and be a part of it again! As soon as I'm well enough, I plan on striking out. Now, you can help me or I'll go without your permission!""Calm yourself, my son," Spock replied. "I have no intention of stopping you. If anyone can survive in the wilderness here, it is you. In fact, I believe going into the wilderness would accomplish a great deal for you. Do you remember when T'Larin was born? The first T'Larin, I mean, and how after she was killed by the wolf that I left you and your mother in order to make a pilgrimage into the mountains to the west?""How could I forget that?" Sapel responded. "I hated you more than anything in the world. I would have killed you with my bare hands if I could have.""I know." Spock closed his eyes and frowned, remembering for a moment. "I went out alone for a reason. I went to perform kae'kh't'kotal, the Realignment. I was so unsettled emotionally and spiritually that I had to get my mind and soul in order again by communing with the Ancestors that reside in my katra. They reside in your katra as well. Sapel, I know that your soul is shattered by what has happened to you. I believe that kae'kh't'kotal, if you are able to do this, will heal you. Follow the dictates of your heart, son.""You know, Granny told me the same thing," Sapel answered, looking at his father and meeting his eyes. "During your last pon farr, Mama sent me to Risa and Granny went with me. On the way, we talked and she told me how you'd fought with Sarek over your career choice and how you had followed where your heart was leading you. She advised me to do the same thing if I was determined to get back here. It's what made me know where to go and what to do."Spock nodded. "She told me the same thing when I was anguished over whether to follow Sarek to the Science Academy or whether to leave home and join Starfleet. Your grandmother is a wise and strong woman." The man paused then went on in a softer tone. "She is dying.""I know," Sapel responded and dropped his head to squeeze his eyes shut. "She never told me but I know.""Oh, that reminds me!" Spock said suddenly in a different tone of voice. "I have something for you! As we were saying goodbye to her, she gave me something for you. When we return to the house, I will find it and pass it along.""What?""A memento for you to remember her by," his father answered. "All the children received one and she gave me yours for when I found you again. I had forgotten it."Sapel was curious now. "I'm ready to go back if you are," he said. Spock nodded and the two men arose and struck out through the knee-high grass toward the colony settlement.* * *The tiny pewter dragon rested in Sapel's upturned palm, its delicate wings beginning to unfurl and its mouth open in what could either be a roar or a yawn. Sapel had always admired it among Amanda's collection of miniscule fantasy pewter figures – dragons, wizards, fairies, unicorns. He knew that Sarek found the collection completely illogical, but Amanda had insisted that she had possessed them from the time she was a girl and many memories were attached to them. This one had been the boy's favorite.Now his eyes filled with tears as he gazed at the little beast. "I miss her so much," he said in a barely audible voice. "I never said goodbye to her. And I loved her so much.""As she did you, Sapel," his father replied. "She would not want you to mourn her extensively. Her religious beliefs have always been that death is but a step to another life.""We're talking about her in the past tense," the young man realized. "She isn't dead yet.""No," Spock agreed softly. "But soon, I'm afraid. Her cancer was advanced when we left Vulcan. Sarek will inform us when she passes out of life." And I will know before that, he thought to himself. I will feel her death.Sapel clutched the little dragon in his fist and brought it up to his chest, his eyes closed. Then abruptly he looked at the older man and asked, "Pa, where's my medicine pouch?"Spock shook his head. "I don't know, Sapel. It was in your possession when you went to live with Granny and Samekh'al in ShiKahr. Did you not pack it when you left?"The young man shook his head. "I didn't go back in the house that night," he answered. "I guess it's still in my room … unless Sarek threw it away.""Granny would not allow him to do such a thing. The next time I message your Grandfather, I will ask him to look for it and send it on here."Sapel nodded thoughtfully. "I'd like to have it. But I'll make a new one if it's lost. Maybe I will anyway to signify the beginning of my new life here.""That would be logical," his father agreed."Meanwhile, I'll store this here in my room, up high where the kids can't reach it. I don't want to lose this." He looked at Spock, his expression showing fatigue. "Now, if you don't mind, Papa, I think I'll rest for a while before everyone gets home. I want to try and meditate a while."Spock laid a hand on his son's shoulder and then slipped out, closing the door behind him. When he had gone, Sapel held the little dragon to his cheek and thought, You are going, Grandmother. I can feel your life closing. I hope you will be part of my katra when you join the All. Remember your grandson, Komekh'al. Remember me.* * *Coming down the hall, his footsteps muffled by the carpet, Sapel paused when he saw that the door to his room was partially open. And there were small noises coming from the darkness inside. Slowly, he pushed the door open and reached in to click on the light.Frozen in shock, his small face staring up at his big brother, Soran stood with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide, pupils fully distended. He had one of Sapel's possessions in his hand, a spectacular shard of crystal that the older Vulcan had found."Hi," Sapel said casually, but with accusation on his face. "Whatcha doin'?"Soran gulped and answered in a trembling voice, "Lookin'.""Looks like you're doing more than lookin'," the adult replied. "What're you doing in my room?"The little boy's face suddenly crumpled and tears started down his cheeks, terrified that he had gotten caught where he was forbidden to be. Sapel sighed and walked over to sit on his bed, patting the space next to him. "Come here, squirt," he said. "Let's talk."Wiping his runny nose on his sleeve, the little boy did as he was told, still clutching the crystal in his fist. Sapel handed him a tissue then said, "You know you're not supposed to come into other people's rooms without permission, don't you?" The child nodded. "Then why did you do it?""Jus' wanted to see what you got," the little boy sniffed and looked up at the man next to him. His pupils had gone back to normal size in the room light. He's got Vulcan night vision, Sapel realized. Pa sees like a cat in the dark. And Soran looks like him, too, except for his blue eyes. I wonder how much Vulcan he's really got in him."Soran," he asked suddenly but kindly. "Do you know who I am?""S'pel," the boy replied."But who am I?" The child didn't reply, his gaze flicking over Sapel's face, unsure. "I'm your brother. Your older brother. Your Mama and Papa are my Mama and Papa, too. Did you understand that?" The little boy shook his head. "Well, I am. Just like Jenny, Kai and Lari are your sisters, I'm your brother.""Why didn't you live with us?" Soran asked. "I don't 'member you.""Well, I'm a lot older than you are. I'm the oldest and you and Lari are the youngest. I'd already gone away to do other things when you were born. So, you don't remember me very well."Soran pondered that for a moment and then accepted it. "You come home now?" he asked.With a pang, Sapel nodded. "Yeah, kid. I've come home now."* * *Spock paused to watch Christine gazing out of the kitchen window, mid-way through preparation of lastmeal. Curious, he joined her to see what was so fascinating and saw not far away two figures squatting down and looking at something on the ground. The taller one pointed and the little one leaned closer, nodding."Ant hill?" Christine pondered out loud. "Remember how Sapel was always so fascinated watching ants when he was Soran's age?""I do," her husband answered. "It makes me nostalgic as well, my wife."Christine smiled up at him. "Have you noticed how much Soran has changed since Sapel took him on as a sidekick? He's stopped throwing tantrums and is more cooperative. I'm a terrible mother!""You are an outstanding mother," Spock corrected her, turning his gaze on her face. "Why do you denigrate yourself?""Because I should be giving my full attention to my babies and instead I neglect them in order to work.""Christine, that is a foolish thing to say. You have a job here, just as I do. You are in charge of the medical facilities here as well as conducting bioresearch. I am in command of personnel, science, and operations. I do not call myself a terrible father simply because I fulfill my duties.""It's different with a woman," she answered, looking back to watch her two sons. "I've realized that Soran needs more attention than I can give him and I haven't responded. I feel guilty because of that. And T'Larin, too. She's more sedate than her brother, but I don't give her enough attention either."Spock sighed and placed his hands on his wife's shoulders, turning her to face him. "Christine, you have nothing to feel guilty about. T'Larin has had the advantage of two older sisters to guide her. Soran now has Sapel to guide him and give him that attention he desires. You will not allow misplaced guilt to disturb you. You cannot be everywhere and do everything. And you must allow Soran to grow and develop. He is five years old now and high time you allow him to explore the world around him."She had begun to tremble and her eyes shown with tears. "Oh, Spock, I can't help but know what dangers are out there! I want to protect him from wolves and bison and lions and everything else!""Stop!" he commanded her, suddenly stern. "You cannot fully protect him. There are indeed dangers on this planet. I know that. But we are not alone now. Soran is surrounded by others who will help protect him as they do their own children. And Sapel will not let anything happen to him. He is probably more aware of Avalon's dangers than anyone. He will teach Soran the skills he needs to live here, as well or better than we could."Christine looked up at him, serious now, as well. "And how long will Sapel stay here, Spock? He's itching to strike out already. And I'm afraid for him, too."Spock didn't answer, but turned to look back at the tall young man in the distance, his brows lowering over his deep brown eyes.* * *

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Jenny peered around the corner of the doorway to Sapel's room. It was open so she didn't feel as if she were intruding but wanted to check out conditions before she entered. Her brother was stretched out on his bed, eyes closed, but he opened them and turned his head to look at her, brows raised slightly in question."Hey, bro," she said, stepping inside. "Any plans for today?""None more than usual," he replied, sitting up and swinging his long legs over the side of the bed. "Why?""Wanna go somewhere?""Where?"She smiled impishly. "You'll see."He assented and followed her. She led him out and down the hill to the large paddock that stood near the colony utility buildings and wherein grazed about two dozen Terran horses of various colors. "You rode the hoxa at Keldeen, didn't you? Horses aren't too different, just a little bigger.""How do you intend to catch one?" he asked. The horses were on the far side of the field, their heads down as they cropped the grass. He didn't fancy having to chase the swift beasts around the large area.In answer, T'Jenn whistled loudly and all the horses raised their heads and looked in her direction. She whistled again and several trotted in her direction, their ears erect as they focused in on her. As they reached the fence, she climbed over it and caught the halters of two of them, a big chestnut with a white blaze and a gray that was a bit smaller."Come on. They won't hurt you," she encouraged her brother. He cautiously followed her over the fence and approached the animals. "This one is Quasar," she said, indicating the chestnut. "And this one is Pulsar. Kaity usually rides him but he's pretty gentle so he'll be a good mount for you." She started for the stable building nearby, leading the two horses and Sapel following.Once there, she proceeded to bridle and saddle both horses, expertly handling the tasks. Then she led the horses to the gate in the fence, took them through it, and closed it again. "Need help getting up?" she asked Sapel, holding Pulsar's bridle."I can do it," he answered and put his foot in the left stirrup, swinging himself up into the saddle. She turned to the chestnut and was in the saddle quickly. "Okay, let's go."They started out to the east. Sapel looked over at his sister and asked, "So tell me. Where are we going?"Jenny smiled impishly. "To the cave. I thought you might like to really go home!"That caught Sapel by surprise. "It's that close?" he responded. "I didn't realize that.""About a half hour's ride," she responded. "I've been there with Papa. It's not too far."The young man nodded. "Yeah. I would like to see it. I was born there, you know.""I do," she answered."Tell me something," Sapel asked. "Why did they bring Terran animals to Avalon? Why horses?""Well, for recreational riding like we're doing," Jenny answered. "But also for scientific purposes. To see if a Terran animal like this can adapt to this planet's ecosystems and also to use for occasional testing against insect vectors that carry diseases. There are other animals at the other colonies. Dairy cattle at one, sheep and goats at another. Domestic fowl at the fourth. Not many, but enough to see if they can survive here. Mama says that we're only beginning to catalog insects and diseases here. That's a major part of her work. Do you remember how awful Sea Home was when we lived there?""Do I?!" he responded. "The mosquitos nearly carried us off every spring!" Something suddenly occurred to him. "Does Papa or Mama know where we're going? And do you have a weapon for safety's sake?""Papa knows and he's okay with it. And, yes, I'm armed." She lifted the edge of her shirt to show that she had a hand phaser attached to her belt. "I was raised on this planet, too, you know. Stop worrying. Come on. Here's the river."The river was low and the horses easily splashed across then climbed up the bank. Almost immediately Sapel recognized where he was. Things hadn't changed much in the years that he'd been away and before many minutes they arrived in the little valley where he'd grown up. There they reined in and let their mounts drop their heads to graze.Sapel let his gaze roam over the area. The waterfall and pond were still the same, clear and inviting and trickling in the little stream that eventually ran down to the river. The stepping stones his parents had placed across the creek had washed away, probably in a flood. The trees around were larger and there were some fallen branches littering the ground. He picked out the place where his mother had tanned hides, sewed, and taught him lessons underneath the shade trees.There was the place where his father had butchered the kills he brought in to feed the family. There were even the hollowed logs they used as brine barrels to store meat. Sapel wondered briefly if there was still meat stored there, but decided that after all these years it was better not to check.The biggest change, however, was their home itself. The sod house that they had built to give their growing family extra room had collapsed in on itself as the years passed. It was merely a big lump of dirt and grass, blocking the doorway Spock had hacked into the side of the cave to give them access.But the cave opening itself was the same, small enough that it could be closed up for security. Sapel was suddenly caught with a longing to go inside and he started to dismount, but T'Jenn reached out to touch his arm. "No," she said. "There's probably something living there now. It's not safe until you can thoroughly inspect it and clean it out. Remember how Papa used to have to do that whenever we moved to a new home? You can come back and check it out another time. I just wanted to show you where it was in relation to the colony.""Yeah, you're right," her brother answered, re-settling himself in the saddle."Come on, let's head back," the girl said. "We don't want to be out on the plains when it gets dark."She reined Quasar around the way they had come and Sapel did likewise with the gray. They set an easy ambling walk back toward the river.Overhead, the sky was a brilliant blue and streaked with cirrus clouds, a light breeze bending the grass like ripples on a lake. Birds flew in mating pairs and twittered, testing out places in trees for nesting sites, and the stream beside the riders gurgled as it made its way west toward the river.Sapel breathed in the fresh air and closed his eyes to appreciate it. "You know, sis, I've missed this so much. This is the reason I was so eager to--"Pulsar gave a screech and leapt sideways, throwing Sapel from his saddle and slamming him onto the ground on his back, knocking the wind out of him. Simultaneously, he heard both Jenny and Quasar scream and overlaying that was a roar that awakened a nightmare from the back of his mind. The big chestnut horse was kicking out, bucking and fighting, unseating T'Jenn and sending her flying. She crashed down onto her face not far from Sapel and lay still, her left arm twisted at an awkward angle.Pulsar was already thundering away from the scene, but Quasar continued to battle the big creature that was attempting to bring the horse down. Sapel recognized it immediately – it was a native predator they had dubbed a werewolf. A pack of them had nearly killed his father shortly before Sapel was born and one of them had snatched and slaughtered his newborn sister, the first T'Larin, when Sapel was a boy.Now his head cleared almost instantly as adrenalin surged through him and he scrambled to pull his knife, but then realized he was outmatched by the enraged animal, even if he could get close to it. Quasar was fighting for his life, his hooves slashing out even as the wolf was sinking its deadly talons into his flanks. Both animals were bleeding and Sapel saw that he had no chance to use his knife.In another second, he lunged at T'Jenn's prone body and scrambled to find the hand phaser stuck to her belt. It was immediately in his hand and then he had to wait an agonizing minute until the fighting animals moved into a position that allowed him a clear shot.It seemed to take forever, then the horse jumped away from the wolf and Sapel pressed the activation stud on the phaser's case. A brilliant blue beam shot out and the werewolf vanished in a splash of blinding light. That frightened the terrified horse even more and he spun and charged after his companion back towards the colony, leaving a trail of froth, blood and dust in his wake.Catching his breath, Sapel stood ready in case another wolf was waiting to attack, but there was nothing. His attention was drawn back to T'Jenn as she groaned and moved on the ground, then gave a cry as her broken arm slammed her with pain. Sapel slapped the phaser against his belt and turned to his sister."It's okay, Jenn," he said softly. "How badly are you hurt? Careful of your arm. Are you injured anywhere else?""I don't think so," she answered and gingerly sat up, cradling her arm against her chest. "What happened?"She nearly swooned and her brother took her in his arms, steadying her. "We were attacked by a wolf. It's dead. I'm glad you had that phaser."She groaned again, looking around. "Where're the horses?""Run off," he replied. "Can you stand? We're going to have to walk it."The teenager gave a small nod. "You're gonna have to help me, S'pel. I'm dizzy.""Don't worry," he answered. "I'll get us home."With care, the young man lifted his sister to her feet and supported her as she got her head to stop spinning. Then they started out slowly in the direction of the colony, several miles away.It was slow, agonizing going. They had to stop several times as Jenny felt faint and had to regain her composure. Finally, after about a mile, she crumpled, nearly blacking out, and her tall brother effortlessly swept her up into his arms. He felt grateful that he had inherited his father's Vulcan strength, otherwise he would not have been able to transport his sibling for so long. She was a fairly big girl, slender but solid, and he wasn't sure how far he could carry her.For another mile he trudged through the grass with his burden, then reached the river and managed to wade across. But on the other bank, he had to lower Jenny to the grass and sit down himself, winded."How much further?" the girl murmured, her arm in agony."A few more miles," Sapel puffed, trying to slow his breathing. Overhead, the sun had moved toward the west and it would be dark within a couple more hours. He hoped they could make it home before twilight fell.A soft roaring noise caught his attention and he looked around, searching for what animal was making it. Then, coming across the plain rapidly toward them, he spotted a flitter, zooming just above the grass. It only took minutes before the vehicle reached them and settled down next to them.The hatches opened and Spock and Christine jumped out, rushing toward their children. Christine got there first, dropping to her knees beside T'Jenn and instantly running a medical scanner over her. "Where else are you hurt?" she demanded, focusing on the broken arm."My head hurts," her daughter answered. There was dried blood on the girl's face from a nosebleed and scrapes from where she had hit the ground."What about you, Sapel?" Spock was likewise examining his son. "Where are you hurt?""I'm okay, Pa," the young man replied. "Just tired and bit shook up. How'd you know where to find us?""The horses came back without you," Spock answered. "We knew something was wrong and came in search of you.""Quasar!" T'Jenn suddenly said. "Is he hurt bad?""A few wounds, but Dr. Mobic is tending to him and Pulsar. They'll be okay." Christine finished her exam. "Can you stand or does Papa need to carry you to the flitter?""I'm okay," the girl answered, but then it was obvious she wasn't. Spock rose from tending to Sapel and came to where his daughter was lying in the grass, squatting to get his hands underneath her and standing effortlessly. He carried her to the flitter and settled her into a seat in the vehicle.Sapel and Christine followed. "Sorry, Mama," he said softly. "I'm always giving you a reason to worry, aren't I?"His mother smiled a mirthless smile and patted him on the arm. "Thank you for saving your sister," she answered in a choked voice and then they got into the vehicle to return to the colony.* * *

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Spock slid into bed beside his wife and noticed immediately that she was silent and anxious. "What troubles thee, t'hyla?" he asked softly.She shook her head. "Did we make a big mistake, Spock? Were we crazy coming back to this damned planet?""We knew all too well what it was like here," he answered. "We made an informed decision.""But we nearly lost Jenny today," his wife sniffed, tears in her blue eyes."No, we did not. She was armed and so was Sapel. They both know the dangers. Both were raised on this planet. They simply were not as alert as they should have been.""And it nearly got them killed," Christine responded, her brows bunched together. "I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I lost two children to this planet. I nearly lost Sapel in that crash! I'm not ready to lose any more!""I know, beloved." Spock drew her into his arms and comforted her. "But every planet has its dangers. Even Vulcan is fraught with dangers. Please do not allow yourself to sink into anxiety so that it affects your life. We can only do what we can do. We survived twelve years here alone. We can survive more--"Spock suddenly grimaced, his eyes squeezed shut, and his fingers went to press against his temple. "Ko‑mehk!" he cried and sucked his breath in almost as a sob.Christine quickly sat up in bed and leaned over him. "Spock! What's wrong?""Mother," he answered in a pained voice. "She is dead. I felt the breaking from the familial meld.""Oh, my darling!" Christine took him in her arms and held him. "I am so sorry! Oh, my love, I grieve with thee! She was a great woman.The bedroom door burst open and Sapel rushed in, distraught. "Granny!" he cried, then caught himself as he saw that his parents were embracing in bed. "I beg pardon, but I just felt--""Yes," Spock interrupted him. "I felt it, too." He himself was interrupted as his other children ran in, the little ones crying.Christine pushed herself up in bed, holding out her arms. "Come here, babies," she begged and Soran and T'Larin scrambled up and clung to their mother. Sapel put his arm around Jenny, mindful of her injured arm, and T'Kai moved up to press against Spock, struggling to keep her emotions in check but wasn't entirely successful. The family held to one another as their grandmother's soul left them.* * *When Spock and Christine had their children settled and back in bed, she made them cups of tea and Spock routed a subspace call through to Vulcan. It took a while to make its way through the parsecs of empty space between the two planets but after about an hour the connection was established.It wasn't Sarek who answered, but old Stafik, a cousin of Spock's father. "Sarek has gone into seclusion," he told Spock. "Will you be returning home for the rites?""Not feasible," Spock told him, his face calm and controlled. "It would take twenty-four days at high warp to get to Vulcan and a like number to return here. Also the only ship in the system is on patrol along the Romulan Neutral Zone and cannot leave the sector. We will perform memorial rites here. Please tell my father that we all grieve with him and will be in touch as soon as he is ready to converse with us."Stafik nodded his gray head. "I will pass your message to him when he emerges from meditation. Until then, live long and prosper, Spock.""Peace and long life to you, Stafik." The Vulcans lifted their hands in ta'al and Spock signed off. He must prepare himself and his family for Amanda's funeral service, albeit without the gathering of the extended family to mourn her passing.* * *Spock stood amid the people gathered around the circular firepit that had been dug in a clear place behind his house and gazed about at the group gathered there in the dark. Christine and their children sat cross-legged about the fire and further back were the people they lived and worked with them here at Alpha Colony. They had all come to pay respects on the loss of Spock's mother and all stood silently in the fading twilight.Spock began."Friends and family, we are here to observe the Vok-Van-Kal t'To'oveh, the funeral rites for Amanda Grayson aduna Sarek chaSkon. We are all diminished by her death but we were enriched by her life. Today we honor her. We honor the wife of Sarek, the mother of Spock, the grandmother of Sapel, T'Jenn, T'Kai, Soran, and T'Larin. We honor the teacher, the diplomat, and the woman. Her life is one to be held in the highest regard and esteem. Those who wish to speak may do so."Christine rose to her feet. "Amanda was the best mother-in-law anyone could ever have. She was remarkable in the way she chose to leave her home for the love of a man from another world." She turned her gaze on her husband. "As did I. She raised a truly remarkable son and I am honored to have been chosen by him as his wife and the mother of his children. Amanda showed me the way to adapt and live in peace and harmony with Vulcans in general and one in particular. I am honored that she welcomed me into her family."Christine resumed her seat and Sapel rose next. "Granny welcomed me into her home when I was having trouble adjusting. She gave me sound advice and support, tutored me when I couldn't handle my schooling, and understood when I was emotional and confused. I will never forget her."He finished and helped his sister to her feet, then sat back down. T'Jenn spoke softly. "Granny was Human in a world of Vulcans, something I understood. She helped me be that without denying my Vulcan heritage. She was someone so special in my life. I'll miss her."She sat back awkwardly as T'Kai rose gracefully to her feet. "In many ways I am the opposite of Jenny," she said. "I feel more Vulcan than Human and Granny helped me understand that, too. She helped me know how she helped Papa choose between his two ways of life. I feel her katra as part of me now."The five-year-old twins didn't speak, but clung to their mother and sobbed. After the family had spoken, several of the people of the colony expressed their sympathy for Spock on the loss of his mother.There was a long moment of silence, then Spock turned back to the fire and continued, "This ceremony on Vulcan is being held on Mount Seleya itself. My mother's body has been cremated and her ashes interred in a ceremonial container. She will be placed in our family's crypt in the Hall of Memory. I hope that her katra will join those of our ancestors. If not there, I hope that she has entered into the Heaven she believed in as part of her own Earth religion. In either case, may she reside in everlasting peace and contentment."He bowed his head and closed his eyes for a moment, as did the rest of the family, and they all lifted their hands, palms up, toward the sky. Then it was over. Spock turned to his colleagues. "Thank you all for attending these rites. We appreciate your friendship."The group broke up and people began to drift away toward their own homes. A number came to personally speak to the family until finally they were the only ones left standing around the dying fire. Christine and the older girls herded the little ones back into the house for their suppers, baths and beds. There was sadness but peace as well. They had known that Amanda was dying when they left Vulcan and they had all said their goodbyes there. A sense of emptiness resided in all of them, but there was acceptance and closure as well.Sapel came to stand close beside his father and gazed into the snapping embers of the fire. "Papa, I need to speak to you.""Of course, cha'i, you know that you may say whatever you like to me." The tall Vulcan turned to look at his son attentively and assessed the young man, his memories playing over the years in which he had watched Sapel grow from a newborn baby that Spock had delivered into the world, to curious toddler and child, to troubled teen who struggled to adjust when "rescued" from the world he considered his home, and now into adulthood. He stood nearly as tall as his father, black hair and beard grown back after his skin was shaved to facilitate his healing burns. He was Vulcan in appearance, from pointed ears to upswept brows over dark brown eyes. He had grown lean and strong, solemn and contemplative."Papa, it's time for me to leave," Sapel said, still peering into the fire. "I came back to Terra Two to start my life over here and the past months have delayed that. I'm well again except that I need to do a pilgrimage like you did when I was little. I haven't fully mourned my shipmates and this ceremony tonight made me realize that I need to perform the rite for my friends, too. I haven't been back to the crash site, but now it's time. I have to lay them to rest.""You do understand that their physical bodies, or what we could recover, are not there. They were sent back to Earth to be entombed with their individual families.""I know," Sapel answered. "But I feel that their souls are still there and I must set them free. Otherwise, none of us will experience peace."Spock nodded. "Tomorrow," he replied. "I will see that you are equipped for your journey. But now come inside and eat. Prepare yourself. I will attempt to prepare your mother. She will protest your leaving but I will support your decision."Saddened despite himself, but fully understanding Sapel's decision, Spock laid a hand on his son's shoulder and turned him toward the house. They both needed to align their thoughts for the coming days.* * *Christine hung on her son's neck, trying hard not to weep, while Soran clutched Sapel's leg, full out bawling. "Be safe! Come back to me, baby!" his mother whispered."I will, Mama," the tall young man answered. "I promise. But you know I have to do this.""I know," she whispered back. "But I don't have to like it." She gave her son another squeeze and drew back."Don't wanya t' go!" Soran wailed.Sapel gently pushed the little boy away and knelt down to his eye level. "Listen to me, squirt," he said. "I've got to go exploring for Papa then I'll be back when I get done with that, okay?"Soran snuffled and nodded. "Wanna go wif!""No, I have to do this alone. But you've got a job here, too." Sapel gazed seriously at his little brother, noting how much he looked like their father except for his blue eyes. "You have to help Mama and Papa take care of the girls, okay? You're the big brother until I get back. Here, I've got something for you."Soran wiped his nose on the back of his hand and looked more interested. "What?""Well, when I was a little boy, Papa gave me something to help me be a man. It's called a medicine bag and it's for super special things. I've made you one to wear." At this, Sapel pulled out a small leather pouch with rawhide strings. The boy fingered it curiously."Got nuthin' in it," he said."Not yet," Sapel replied. "This is for special things you find, like a pretty rock or something you like an extra lot. Let's put the first thing in it." He reached into his pocket again and drew out the quartz crystal that Soran had found so interesting in Sapel's room. "Let's put this in it to let you know that I'm coming back."Sapel opened the drawstring and slipped the little piece of crystal into the bag. Then he pulled it closed and reached to tie the bag around his brother's neck, making sure that it was loose enough for comfort. "Now, when I come back, I'll bring you something else to put in it, okay?"Soran felt of the little leather pouch and smiled as his fingers traced the object within. "You got one, S'pel?" he asked."I do, but I left it on Vulcan. Sa'mehk is taking care of it for me, but I made myself a new one when I made yours." To demonstrate, Sapel drew out a slightly larger pouch and tied it around his own neck."What's in it?" Soran asked."Well, normally it's a secret that we keep. But since I know what's in yours, I'll tell you what's in mine. It's the little bitty dragon that Granny sent to me before she died. I'm keeping it here so that it will help me always remember her." The young man paused then stood. "I've gotta go now."The little boy teared up, but tried to control himself. Sapel looked around at his family, all of them teary-eyed, and ended facing his father. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, Papa, but I should be back before winter sets in. I remember what winters are like here and I don't want to be stuck out alone if I can help it.""Do you have everything you will need?" Spock asked."I think so. I'll make what I need if I don't." He shrugged into his backpack, settling it onto his shoulders. It was a bit awkward but well balanced. The all-weather tent was folded across the top, an improvement on the heavy bullhide they'd used when he was a child. He checked that his knife was sitting in its sheath on his hip and his canteen on the other."Take this, too," Spock said and passed him a hand phaser. "You may need it when your knife is ineffective." They both remembered the wolf attack at the cave and Sapel nodded and took it."Thanks, Pa." He looked up at his father, wondering whether he should hug him, give him a Vulcan salute, or just start out. In the end, he did all three, exchanging the ta'al and pressing his palm against Spock's, then giving his father a quick hug. Looking around again at his mother and siblings, Sapel said, "Well, so long, everybody. I'll be back!"And with that, Sapel turned and started off toward the west, not looking back. His first duty lay there, to the place he had never returned to since his ship crashed. The Mandalay's crew awaited him and he was coming to set their souls free. THE END