Work Text
At Jefferson Middle School, Costume Day was the one day in the year where friends and couples would compete with each other to see who could be the best. There were always people that would stand out. One year, a group of seven friends dressed up like each of the seven continents. Another year, a couple came as the people in the American Gothic painting.
Every year, TJ would see everyone participating with their friends and feel a pang of jealousy. He never had any friends to do it with so he always told people he didn’t care about doing it at all, even though that was far from the truth. The last thing he wanted to do was show up in a costume by himself, which lead him to skipping the event entirely to waive the embarrassment.
This year, though, he finally had some friends. Among these, there was only one person he could think to match with. Sure, he was thankful to finally have a small group of people that cared about him, but at the end of the day, he wanted to match with Cyrus, the boy he had been crushing on for months on end.TJ grabbed his cell phone and a blanket before laying down in bed. The excitement was overwhelming him as he started searching for couple’s costume ideas. He knew that him and Cyrus weren’t a couple - even the sheer thought of that happening turned his stomach into a whirlpool of emotions.
Him and Cyrus. That’d be pretty great. He couldn’t stop thinking about how soft Cyrus’s hands probably were, or how nice it would be to finally hold it in his. That would never happen, though, because Cyrus
clearly
didn’t like him back. This small realization brought him back to reality.
He sat his phone down at the end of his bed, yet again surrendering to the pain that came with pining. Everyone had always seen him as being so confident --and he was-- but when it came to his feelings, he couldn’t help but feel like a complete coward. He had spent so many nights thinking about the perfect way to tell Cyrus, but with every new idea came a bigger wave of doubt and insecurity.He sat up in his bed and buried his head into his hand, rubbing circles over his tired eyes. Lifting his head, he took notice of his closet full of hoodies. His mind lingered for a moment as he imagined Cyrus wearing one of them.
“Yes! Oh my God!” He shouted, completely against his will. He reached for his phone to jot a few notes down.
Hoodie. Costume. Ask him to be your boyfriend.
The odds of him actually going through with it were pretty low, but he was proud of himself for coming up with the idea in the first place.
In the middle of his mini-celebration, Amber opened his door and asked, “Are you, like, okay? Did Cyrus finally confess his undying love to you or what?” TJ, with a blush growing on his face, threw a pillow and hit her in the face. Even though Amber had known about his crush since forever, he absolutely hated when she teased him about it, especially when she would say Cyrus liked him back, because that was something he’d never be able to believe.
“No. He didn’t. I just had an idea and got a little excited. No big deal. Nope,” he rambled, trying his best to direct her attention elsewhere. He really wasn’t in the mood for an interrogation.
“Okay? I’d ask, but you’re being weird and I really don’t care enough to deal with
that
, so talk to you later, I guess?” She closed his door behind her and went back to her room to text Andi again, something TJ had rudely interrupted with his gay panicking. TJ let out a sigh of relief and flopped backwards onto his bed, yet again daydreaming about Cyrus wearing his hoodie.
If he had to pay money to see if, he’d willingly donate his entire life’s savings to see the oversized fabric engulf Cyrus. In his dream world, maybe Cyrus would keep it because it smells like him. But, this wasn’t a dream. This was reality. Cyrus didn’t like him, he didn’t want to wear his stupid hoodie, and most importantly, he wouldn’t want to dress up as ‘TJ’s boyfriend’ on Costume Day.
TJ ran his hands through his hair a bit before throwing his blankets over his face. He tried to clear Cyrus from his mind -- an extremely unsuccessful undertaking -- until he fell asleep, a light smile still on his face.
+
“You can do this. You can do this,” TJ mumbled to himself, pacing back and forth and waiting for Cyrus to meet him at the Spoon. He had an extra sweatshirt in his backpack on the off chance that he was actually going to go through with his plan. If all went well, he could have a boyfriend by the end of the day. He tried to keep the worst case scenario as far away from his thoughts as he could. For once, he was only allowing optimism.
Something
had to keep him calm.
The moment Cyrus arrived, however, made everything way more real. This wasn’t just another one of his dream ideas that would forever live in his head; this was an actual attempt that he was completely prepared for. The sweat on his palms and his dry mouth reminded him of the nerves he’s always had when it came to telling Cyrus. Somehow, thinking of the idea gave him a temporary escape from fear. It allowed him a moment to feel calm and live in his own little universe where everything was perfect. But it wasn’t. He was TJ. He was human. And, most importantly, he was afraid.
“Hey, Underdog!” TJ called out, trying his best to hide how badly he was shaking. He held onto his bag straps to give a facade of security. If Cyrus noticed that he was nervous, he would definitely ask him about it. That was one of the things TJ loved about him. He was extremely observant and aware of others feelings, and he was always quick to make sure they were okay when he noticed that something was off. In this moment, though, TJ hoped Cyrus would be oblivious.
“Hey!” Cyrus smiled. “I’m actually like, so hungry right now. I’m probably going to order like, three baskets of baby taters.” TJ smiled, trying his best to keep back a laugh.
It wasn’t even that funny. Stop being so obvious, dumbass.
“Order as much as you’d like,” TJ said, opening the door and following Cyrus into the building, “I’m paying this time.”
“Oh? In that case I may just have to order even more,” Cyrus teased, leaning closer to TJ and consequently unleashing an entirely new set of emotions through him. He didn’t think he could get more nervous than he previously was, but he was completely wrong. If anything, he didn’t think he’d been this nervous in his entire life.
They sat down across from each other, and it took all the power he had to keep himself from staring at Cyrus. For a split second he allowed himself to wonder if Cyrus ever felt the same way about him. Did Cyrus ever steal glances at him when he wasn’t aware? Did Cyrus ever stay up until ungodly hours of the night thinking about what TJ would look like in glasses?
When he felt his face start to heat up, he pushed the thoughts out of his head and started rambling to Cyrus about the basketball game from the night before. Basketball could never make him
completely
forget about Cyrus, but it was definitely an effective distraction.
A few conversations and baby taters later, Cyrus brought up the topic TJ was doing his best to avoid.
“So, are you excited for Costume Day?” he asked. TJ almost had to laugh at the irony. If Cyrus only knew the nature of what he was about to do…
“Yeah. Actually, uh, I was wondering if you’d want to, like, match with me.” TJ couldn’t even look at him. The nerves were eating him alive. He could do this. He could do this.
“Oh… Well, Andi really wanted me to do a Mount Rushmore costume with her and Buffy.” He couldn’t do this. “But, I don’t really want to do it anyways. What did you have in mind?”
TJ’s shoulders locked up, his entire body freezing. Cyrus wanted to match with him? He would give up matching with his best friends to match with
him?
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to ditch your friends for me.”
-I don’t want to get my hopes up just to have them shot down.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” TJ’s heart was racing so fast he thought it was going to crack his ribs open. “Lay it on me, Teej.”
With a simple nickname, he had made his mind up. He took a few deep breaths before unzipping his bag next to him. He stared down at the hoodie, the symbolic token for his confession. The amount of different nerves coursing through him almost made him want to throw up. He was thankful he didn’t, because there wasn’t much that could be more embarrassing than that.
He slowly pulled the hoodie out, allowing himself to clutch onto the soft fabric before finally dropping it in front of Cyrus. That’s how he felt about finally admitting his crush. He was trying his hardest to hold onto it as long as he could. He wanted to hold back each and every single thread of normality instead of letting go and allowing everything to change.
“What’s this?” Cyrus asked, holding the hoodie up in the air and inspecting it, “It just looks like a hoodie. What kind of costume is that?”
You can do this. You can do this.
“Well, I was thinking maybe you could dress up as my boyfriend.” He was already regretting it the exact moment the words spilled from his mouth. He wanted to go back and erase it all; he wanted a do-over. He couldn’t even see Cyrus’s face, so instead of waiting for a response, he continued, “You know, just as like… a costume. I couldn’t really think of any other ideas so I thought it would be a good pun because it’s like, literally a
couple’s costume
.”
“O-oh. Yeah that’s cool. We should totally do that. It’ll be... fun, yeah?” TJ couldn’t help but feel like Cyrus was only agreeing out of pity. He definitely didn’t
sound
like he was entirely sold on the idea. “I mean, it’s costume day; the day to dress as the things you’re not.”
The things you’re not… the things you’re not.
For the rest of the day, TJ couldn’t clear that line from his mind. Even though he was the one that cowered from making it a real thing, it still bothered him that it was all fake.
Why didn’t I just tell him?
He was filled with a mix of sadness and regret.
He had his chance, and he blew it.
At least Costume Day would give him one day to at least
pretend
he had a chance.
-------
The day had finally arrived. Cyrus was nearly bouncing with excitement; it looked like he’d downed an entire gallon of coffee that morning. He woke up that day before his alarm even rang, and he was too filled with nervous energy to eat breakfast. Hopping out of bed, he glanced over at the blue hoodie, resting on his chair. It was all smoothed out, paired with a pair of sweatpants and sneakers. They were going to look like the perfect couple.
Costume
couple, he reminded himself. TJ and him were going as a
costume
couple, not a real one.
“Not a real one,” he mumbled while he slipped on the sweatshirt and came to the conclusion that he never wanted to take it off.
“Not a real one,” he said again, swapping out his pajama pants for the sweatpants, as well as the sneakers where TJ had written ‘#34’ on the sides.
“Not a real one,” he repeated, shoveling books into his backpack for the day.
“Not. . .” he trailed, turning on his phone. His background photo was a picture of him and TJ, both grinning from ear to ear after Cyrus had
finally
won a game at the carnival. He didn’t have the energy nor the will to finish the rest of his statement, instead choosing to tuck his phone in his pocket and grab a granola bar on the way out.
+
TJ slipped on his jersey and shorts that morning, heading into the bathroom to fix his hair. He reached for the gel, stopping when he opened up the cap.
‘
You should wear your hair with less gel, Teej. Looks nicer. Plus you can run your fingers through it.’
He paused, shutting the cap. If Cyrus liked him with the hair messy and gel free, then by all means, he would do that. Maybe he’d even point that out today. It’d make them look more like a couple.
“Fake couple,” he reminded himself, running a tired hand through his hair, “because you just backed out last minute,” he muttered, swinging his bag on his back and heading downstairs.
“Did you forget it was costume day?” Amber chided, shaking her head. She’d clearly been up for a while, painting her hair gray for the Mount Rushmore costume that Andi had roped her into doing. Andi could have said they were going as a pile of garbage, and Amber would have agreed.
He rolled his eyes, grabbing an apple from off of the counter. “No,” he mumbled through a bite, “this
is
my costume,” he said, spinning around.
She gave him a once over. “You’re. . .TJ Kippen, basketball player extraordinaire?” she guessed.
He dropped his hands by his side. “Yes, Amber, I’m going as myself because I’m that vain,” he huffed, shaking his head, “I’m going with Cyrus,”
At that she perked up, placing her elbows up on the table. “Ooh, Cyrus! Are you both going as basketball players? Whose jersey does he have? Or are you going as-”
“-he’s wearing my sweatshirt,” he finally cut in, breathing out slowly, “I have my jersey, and he has my sweatshirt,”
Amber was glad she wasn’t eating anything at the moment because she swore she would have choked. “You
do
know that’s literally what players do for their girlfriends right?”
He shrugged, trying to brush it off. “So?”
“
So?
” she looked at him, incredulously, “are you kidding? You’re basically asking him to be your boyfriend, TJ,”
He felt a twinge of joy at that thought; Cyrus being his boyfriend.
His boyfriend.
“And what about it?”
She shook her head, getting up and giving him a light smack to the arm. “You’ve been pining over him for
forever
, TJ! Seriously, I feel like I know more about Cyrus than I do about myself,” she pointed out, “you should just. . .go for it. This is the perfect time,”
He brushed it off, slipping on a pair of sneakers. “Says you, miss ‘I hang out in Andi Shack because I want to learn how to make bracelets and not because I like it when Andi touches my hands’,”
“That is the worst nickname I’ve ever heard,” she pouted, crossing her arms.
“Yeah, but,” he swung open the door, “am I wrong though?” he didn’t even give her a chance to answer, “no, I’m not,”
+
“Do you know how hard this is going to be get this gray dye out of my hair?” Buffy groaned, walking through the doors, “I’m going to get gray on everything I touch,”
“C’mon, it’s not that bad,” Andi tried to convince her, bumping into another student and leaving a gray mark on his shirt.
“You were saying?”
“Oh, hush, you. We look good,” Andi pointed out, waving to another gray figure out in the distance.
“Nice to see you, Amber-ham Lincoln,” Buffy joked, smiling.
Andi pouted. “I wanted to be Andi-ham Lincoln. None of the other names even come close,”
“None of them come close to my name either, so join the club,” Buffy chuckled, brightening when she saw Cyrus coming through the door. “Ah, yes, the one who chose to bail,”
Cyrus put his hands up in mock defense. “I come in peace,” he stated, reaching into his bag, “and bearing cookies,”
“Apology accepted,” Buffy said quickly,taking the bag out of his hands, “what are you supposed to be?”
Cyrus felt his cheeks heat up, almost unsure of how to answer the question. “Funny story. See, the thing is that-”
“Hey, Cyrus!” a voice cut through the tension, and Cyrus was never so happy to see TJ as he was in that moment.
“TJ,” he greeted with a smile brighter than the sun, “you look. . .like you usually do after school on a Thursday,”
TJ chuckled, putting an arm around him. “And you look. . .like a fabric monster ate you alive,”
Cyrus swatted his arm at that remark. “It’s not my fault someone grew like a giant over the summer,” he chided.
“Are you guys done flirting so we can actually get to class?” Buffy deadpanned, giving Cyrus a knowing look.
They cleared their throats awkwardly, stepping a little bit apart from each other. “We’re not,” TJ tried, before Cyrus cut him off by taking his hand.
“It’s all part of the costume,” he explained, a small smile on his face, “couldn’t you tell? It’s a couples thing,” he said, before quickly pushing through the girls and dragging TJ behind him. They rounded the corner and Cyrus felt like he could finally breathe again. TJ smiled at him, not letting go of their hands.
“That was come quick thinking back there,” he complimented, “part of the costume, that was, like, such a great excuse,”
Excuse.
“Right,” Cyrus mumbled, “excuse. That’s. . what that was,”
TJ’s expression morphed into one of mild concern. “Everything okay?”
Cyrus nodded vigorously, trying to convince himself as well as TJ. “Yeah, totally,” he lied, “I just. . .have a chemistry quiz today. You know. . .elements,”
TJ nodded, giving him a pat on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll do great. You always do,” he promised. He was going to say more, but the bell rang and cut him off. With a quick wave, he was off turning the other direction and walking to his class.
Cyrus shook his head; he hated lying to TJ, but how could he not about a thing like this? Their costumes were purely for the celebration. Just for Costume Day. So what if TJ sometimes let him borrow his hoodies? And so what if Cyrus sometimes kept them for himself? Friends did that. Lots of people did that. They weren’t any different.
+
The rest of the day seemed to drag on and on, but eventually came the end, where the students were gathered outside for pictures and some refreshments. Andi and her crew had won for best costume, go figure. Teachers were coming around and snapping pictures of all the group costumes.
“Cyrus, TJ,” Metcalf piped up, walking towards them, “can I get a picture of you two?”
They nodded, and Cyrus slung an arm around the back of TJ’s waist. He smiled for the picture, but Metcalf looked a little off.
“What are you two supposed to be?” he asked, treading lightly, which was quite unlike his character.
“A couple,” they chimed in unison, both trying, and failing, to hide their blushes.
He frowned, putting a hand on his hip. “Well, you don’t really look like one,”
“It’s a costume,” TJ deadpanned.
He rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Mr. Kippen. No, I mean like you guys need to look more. . .coupley,”
Feeling bold, Cyrus linked his hand with TJ’s, smiling at him with this new found confidence. “Just pretend he isn’t there,” he whispered to the other boy.
TJ nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. He took his other hand, tugging him a little bit closer. Never did he want things to be not pretend so badly.
“This okay?” he asked.
Cyrus nodded. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,”
“That day at the Spoon, when we were talking about this costume idea. . .why’d you wanna do this one? Or at least why with me?”
TJ frowed. He hated when Cyrus said things like that about himself. “Why you, Cyrus? You’re my best—“ he cut himself off, taking a breath, “you’re my favorite person. I love hanging out with you and making you smile and listening to you laugh and,” he paused, “. . .and I like you,”
Cyrus smiled softly, giving his hand a squeeze. “I like hanging out with you too,”
TJ shook his head so hard he thought he could feel his brain rattling around in his skull. “No, Cyrus I. . . I
like you
like you,” he clarified, waiting for an answer of any sort.
“Oh. . .
oh,
” he realized, an excited grin spreading across his face, “so this—whole thing was an elaborate scheme to ask me out?”
TJ chuckled. “Well, I technically never asked you out,” he noted, “but, hypothetically, if I
were
to ask you out?”
Cyrus snorted. “Okay, well, hypothetically, if that were to happen, I’d say that I love to go on a date with you,”
Feeling his confidence return, TJ smiled at Cyrus. “So, Cyrus. . .will you
realistically
go out with me?”
Cyrus laughed, nodding his head. “Yes, I will,”
TJ really didn’t think that this day could get much better. He figured even if Cyrus did reject him, they’d still get to remain great friends, and their relationship would be strong as ever. But this was all he ever asked for.
“You’re never getting this hoodie back,” Cyrus quipped, unlinking his hands from TJ’s and stuffing them in the pockets.
TJ shrugged, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Yeah, I figured,”
And he wouldn’t have it any other way.