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Anakin did love Padmé. She was beautiful, smart and kind. And she loved him. The problem was that...Anakin didn’t love her the way she did. He loved her like a sister. She deserves better.Anakin had always felt the need to impress people. Obviously, he’d finally managed to impress Padmé. Unfortunately, that had led to her falling for him.
He’d tried impressing Obi-Wan (more times than he’d like to admit) but it seldom worked. If Obi-Wan had ever been impressed by Anakin, the man was extremely good at hiding it. Too good in fact. Of course, his Master had pushed him, encouraged him, but Anakin couldn’t remember ever seeing him really, truly impressed.
Damnit. Anakin massaged his temples. It was another one of those countless sleepless nights. He’d tossed and turned, but finally decided that he’d be better off meditating. So, here he was. And it wasn’t working. Nothing ever seemed to work in his favor. Especially not making Obi to notice him. Great. Now he was heading in that direction again. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fu...
“Anakin?” Anakin’s eyes snapped open. “Yes, Master?” He didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Had he sensed Anakin thinking about him? It wouldn’t surprise Anakin at all if that was the case. He felt two, strong, warm hands land on his shoulders, lightly kneading them. Anakin breathed out and relaxed instantly, his own hands dropping to his lap. His heart wouldn’t stop racing though. He closed his eyes again. Ok. Deep breaths. In...and out. In...and out.
“Can’t sleep?” Anakin felt irritation bubble up inside him. Don’t snap, don’t snap, don’t snap, don’t... “Obviously not.” Great. He just had to. Flinching, he gently pushed Obi-Wan’s warm hands from his shoulders despite his mind screaming at him not to. Standing up, Anakin finally turned around to meet his Master’s eyes. He could see worry in them. “Sorry Master, I don’t feel well.” It was true, just not the way his Master probably thought. He felt his mouth twitch into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Obi-Wan scoffed. “Of course you don’t. I would be grumpy and irritated too if I slept as little as you’ve done these past few months. Come on, tell me. What’s bothering you?” Anakin felt his cheeks heat up. He thought he’d been able to hide his sleeplessness from his Master. He sighed. Obviously not. Swallowing, he tried coming up with something to say. Obi-Wan’s eyes softened, a smile playing on his lips.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It was Obi-Wan’s turn to endure a sleepless night, his thoughts racing a mile a minute.
The moment Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi first had laid eyes on the boy, who was to become his apprentice, he’d felt...something. Some sort of...connection? Is that the right word? Perhaps, Obi-Wan mused, it had been a desire to protect the boy.
He remember being hit by a wave of different emotions from the kid: confusion was the first he’d picked up. The others had been sadness, guilt and lonliness. So much loneliness. Perhaps Obi-Wan had seen himself in Anakin. Mabye that was why his heart went out to Anakin? Because Obi-Wan had experienced the same emotions? Did he feel the way a parent would do towards Anakin? After all, most of the time at least, they behaved like father and son. However, sometimes, when Anakin didn't think his Master had his eyes on him, Obi-Wan had caught...glimpses of...something, in Anakin's eyes. Now, when Obi-Wan thought about it, those glimpses had actually started way back. When though? The boy had clearly been trying to hide his longing gaze from his Master.
Anakin's first year had been difficult, for the both of them, especially at night. The boy constantly missed his mother, with the effect of Obi-Wan missing out on sleep. What, he couldn't just ignore the heartbreaking sobs (though Obi-Wan could tell that the boy was trying his best to be quiet) coming from his apprentice, that would've broken his own heart.
As time went on, it became a habit for Obi-Wan to comfort Anakin every night. And one night, Anakin was the one to come to Obi-Wan's quarters. He could stop pretending that he would get any sleep at all tonight. The next morning, Obi-Wan went to Padmé's quarters. He knocked on her bedroom door. "Padmé, can I have a word with you please?" She let him in after only a few seconds. "Of course, come in. What's bothering you?"
Obi-Wan poured his heart out to her. Finally, she kissed him on the cheek and said "Go talk to him. I know you love him." Obi-Wan stared at Padmé. "But...what about you?" Padmé exhaled patiently. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I promise. I have seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. Anakin has never looked at me even close to the way he looks at you, Obi-Wan. Believe me." Obi-Wan shook his head in disbelief. "You are an angel." Padmé's lips quirked a bit in something close to a smile. "No. I just can't stand to see other people suffering when I know that I don't stand a chance." Obi-Wan finally allowed himself a full smile. He squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you." Padmé closed her eyes, nodding. "Anytime."