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My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don’t particulary like anything. Except fresh tomato soup. I love fresh tomato soup, but this is a state secret and if you know that I like fresh tomato soup, I’ll have to kill you.Now, about the things I hate, as I said already, there are a lot. Crowded spaces, the annoying squeak that girls make when they see me, Sakura’s annoying squeak, my big brother poking my forehead, school cafeteria food, orange and all his shades, sweet stuff, etc etc. I usually don’t hate people and tend to avoid scums, but today I found out I am pretty much able to despise people and it’s a nightmare to have this ability. Why? Because in some cases annoying people are unavoidable, like this guy who is sitting near me. My new deskmate…Two hours ago when today’s classes started, Iruka-sensei entered the classroom with a creppy smile on his face. You know, that smile with all teeth showing that all the teachers have when a dumb idea hits their brain and they think “is cool” or “funny” to do that. So, he enters the room and declares, voice overly enthusiastic that we have a new classmate. He murmurs something towards the door and the most obnoxious guy I’ve ever seen in my 12 years life enters. He has a mop of blonde hair (Does he even know what a comb is?) and extremely blue eyes. Like freaking blue eyes and he wears a horrible orange hoodie, that looks too big on him. Iruka-sensei asks him to present himself and he starts in a strident voice:“Hi, my name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like instant ramen cup, but I hate the three minutes you have to wait after you pour the water in the ramen cup. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them and my future dream is to become somebody important.”“Not with that face” Kiba, one of the idiots in class mocks him and the entire classroom starts laughing. Iruka-sensei’s face immediately changes, eyes throwing fire and he starts yelling, making my eardrums bleed:“INUZUKA KIBA, DETENTION, 4 HOURS TODAY!!!”“Whaaaaaat?” Kiba mewls, but he’s not gonna get away with that now. He gives Naruto a death stare, but the guy doesn’t see him. Since Kiba’s comment he hasn’t raised his head. He keeps staring at the floor, until Iruka-sensei puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him:“Ok, Naruto. Very interesting way of presenting yourself. We don’t serve ramen at the school cafeteria”. At this, the guy instantly deflates, but Iruka-sensei ignores it and tells him:“Now, go and sit near Sasuke, there, first desk on the left, near the window.”
Whaaaat???Oh no no, don’t tell me he just made this guy sit near me. No, hell no!
“What?! But, but Iruka-sensei” Sakura whimpers “you didn’t let me stay near Sasuke-kun. You said it’s better if he sits alone.”
Yeah, Iruka-sensei, Sakura-the-annoying-squeak is right. Don’t let that moron sit near me.
Our homeroom teacher’s face transforms again, eyeballs twitching:“Sakura, do you see any other empty space in the classroom for Naruto? Do you want me to make him sit in your lap, perhaps?”At this some of us start snorting and Sakura goes red and mumbles something.“Go near Sasuke, Naruto” Iruka adds and the boy approaches, shambling his feet.I want to punch Iruka-sensei in the face, but that would be “unappropriate and extremely shameful” as dad would say. But I still want to punch him because I simply don’t want this guy to be my deskmate. I’d rather hear Sakura squeaking near me all day long until the end of my school years. But no, it’s done. I’m done.Naruto sits in the place near me, putting his backpack awkwardly in the space under the desk and making it shake. Then he realizes he didn’t took his notebook out, so he shoves his hand in the backpack, trying to find it. He rummages in it until he finds what his looking for.First class it’s math and we had a homework. Iruka asks who wants to go to the blackboard and solve the first exercise. Everyone goes quiet as we always do when we have to go to the blackboard. In that deathly silence someone starts to snore. The sound it’s at first faint, but then grows higher. Iruka-sensei’s eyes narrow. He grabs a piece of chalk and throws it at the source – third desk in the middle, target: Shikamaru Nara’s head. All the losers that had the misfortune to sit in that row need to bend their heads so that Iruka’s missile hits the target.Shikamaru’s head jerks up. He has his long hair in a ponytail that looks now as a broom. He seems confused, then realizes he is probably in deep shit.“Shikamaru, honour us with your homework and please, wipe the drool out of your face.”The classroom starts to laugh histerically while Shikamaru stands up and slowly moves toward the blackboard with a beaten look on his face.I try to focus on the exercise, but it’s impossible because Naruto keeps fidgeting near me, playing with his pen, then with the pages of his notebook, then muffling the laces of his hoodie. I turn to him completely and growl as low as I can:“Do you have ADHD or something? Stay still.”He ceases any kind of movement, shoves his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and picks up a pack of M&Ms. He hands it to me:“Do you want some?”I look at him dumbfounded. I just told this guy to stop being agitated and instead he gives me M&Ms. I take the pack just because I don’t want Iruka-sensei to warn me and spill the well known chocolate buttons in my hand. For some unknown reason the orange ones are not to be found. I frown. He wispers:“Sorry, I ate the orange ones. They all taste the same though..”I pick just one red button and hand the pack back to him.“Stay still” I add.He takes the pack and puts it back in his hoodie. For the rest of the class he indeed stays still, but it is something even in his quiet presence that enerves me. When the bell rings I take my stuff and run for the science lab, letting him behind.Until lunch break I’m lucky not to meet him, Sakura or any other classmate that I usually avoid. But for lunch break I am sure I’m not going to be that lucky. The cafeteria is already crowded and the line goes past the door. Wonderful. I grab a tray and wait patiently in line. Suddenly there is this huge sound of falling plastic plates and glass breaking. I turn and in the middle of the cafeteria the thugs of school – Jirobo and Kidomaru are laughing at Naruto, who just stays there and watches the spilled soda and fries from the floor:“Ohh, look at hiiim. I think he’s gonna cry for his friez” Jirobo slurs.“Yeeeah, do you want a napkin, little man?” Kidomaru snorts and Jirobo pushes Naruto in the chest.The entire cafeteria is looking, but nobody dares to move. These guys are the “mafia” in our school. They pick up on anyone, but most of the time their victims are the nerds, shy girls or people that stand out too much…as this Naruto guy. They never picked up on me, but that’s because of my name. My dad is the CEO of the biggest corporation in town and my brother was a karate champion in our school, so no one dares to touch an Uchiha. But this poor guy, with his orange hoodie and his way of being is like a magnet for these bullies. I expect Naruto to vanish out of the cafeteria or start crying or do nothing as he did in the class when Kiba laughed at him, but instead he raises his head, eyes throwing fire and pushes Jirobo’s hand away.The thugs are surprised by his aggressive reaction and I swear I can hear the entire cafeteria gasping.“Ooohhh, we’ve got a badass here” Jirobo growls and throws himself in Naruto, grabbing his hoodie and trying to push him down. But the guy is not that weak as it seems, he grabs Jirobo’s arms in a fierce grip and shoves his knee between his legs. The movement is so sudden that it’s almost hard to follow. The other has no time to react and Jirobo just starts moaning and falling in his knees, holding his “instruments”. And it’s a view that I’ve never seen in my life, since my brother literally stepped on Jirobo two years ago when he stole my backpack. I mean, this Jirobo is something that the Uchiha family labels as “pig”. A big guy that it’s dangerous not because he has muscle or something, but because he is extremely fat and he can crush you with his weight.The other guy, Kidomaru, finally figures what’s going on and punches Naruto in the face. He falls in his butt and the attacker is already over him, throwing more punches everywhere. At a certain point I think that we probably should call a teacher or something, but then I hear Kidomaru gasping and then he is the one who falls on his back and Naruto straddles him and throws punches, but those are extremely coordinated and his blue eyes have these maniacal sparkle in it and he curses like a barbarian:“You motherfucker, you think you can make fun of me just because I’m smaller than you?! I’ll show ya who I am, you piece of shit!!” and he keeps punching and punching, until Neji, who is one year older than us grabs Naruto by the hands and with his classmate help, Lee, pulls Naruto off Kidomaru. The blond guys still curses and jerks in their hands, until Neji’s voice, steady and calm echoes in the cafeteria:“Calm down, big guy, he is already bloody. What do you want to do? Kill him?”Naruto looks at him and snarls:“Let me go, you asshole!!”And theeen, the worst teacher that could show up in that moment shows up – Ibiki Morino. He is the PE teacher, but I swear he is the reincarnation of Hitler or any nazi extremist that had a morbid pleasure in torturing people. He was my brother’s PE teacher too and Itachi always came home with bruises and stuff from PE and with glassy eyes. Everytime dad would ask him about this teacher, Itachi would say that he is like an army general and that he scares him. And Itachi is rarely scared of anything.Now “Hitler” looks around the cafeteria, then at the moaning bloody mess that Kidomaru is, then at the blond bloody mess that Naruto is. His voice booms in the cafeteria:“UZUMAKI! AND YOU, YOU DOWN THERE, IN MY OFFICE, NOW!!!” Neji and Lee releases Naruto and he gives the teacher a look that could be simply be described in two words: “You motherfucker”.They all leave for the teacher’s office and the cafeteria remains in silence for two seconds and then there is this collective murmur that starts.“What a show” Kimimaro declares behind me. I haven’t heard him coming. He is from a different class, but we go to the same science lab and sometimes I like eating with him.“Tell me about that. This day has been a mess since 8 am.”“Do you know that guy?”“Who?”“The blond raged dog.”“Oh, he is this new guy from my class. A loser, probably” I observe with indifference.“Doesn’t seem like a loser to me. Nobody in this damn school ever had the courage to punch “the mafia” in the face.”I give him a bitch resting face look:“He did that because he is extremely stupid, not because he is some superhero.”He snorts and we drop the subject for the rest of the break, although I can hear how all the others are talking only about this.For the rest of the day Naruto didn’t come back to class and I heard people saying that he was sent home and that Kidomaru left for the hospital because Naruto broke his nose.Now it’s dinner time and mum arranges the sushi on the plate and dad pours wine in their glasses. Itachi sits near me and dad asks him how were his classes today. Itachi is in his first year of highschool, a very prestigious highschool. He’s 15, has long hair and smokes in secret, but he is a good big brother.“What about your day, Sasuke?” dad asks.“Agitated” I declare.Itachi snorts:“Your day was agitated? Why?”“We have a new classmate and he got into a fight with Kidomaru and Jirobo.”Itachi’s eyebrows raise:“Really? Is he alright?”Dad interrupts him:“Aren’t those two those scums who stole your backpack?”“They are” I answer dad’s question, then back to my brother:“He broke Kidomaru’s nose.”“Reeeeally?” Itachi laughs “what’s his name?”“Naruto Uzumaki” I answer with an eye roll.Dad turns to me, his eyes having that serious sparkle:“He is a thug, Sasuke. You should stay away from him.”It’s a warning, I know it is. It means “Don’t make a shame out of the Uchiha name, Sasuke.” I give a side look to Itachi and he just shrugs.After dinner I go to my room to finish my history project. I. hate. History. Half an hour in that thing and I want to smash my head on the table. I hear a rustling sound on the roof and figure Itachi it’s out there again, smoking. It’s autumn and it rained earlier so I grab a hoodie and go to him.He is exactly how I thought I’ll find him, close to his window, his hands resting on his bended knees. A string of smoke dances in the air like a ghost. He notices me and pats the tile near him:“Come here, Sasuke. What’s up?”“I hate history” I declare.He blews another string of smoke and chuckles:“I hated that too, but it’s not that bad.”I sigh and then asks:“Do you think that guy was stupid?”“What guy?”“The new guy in my classroom.”He fixes me with his eyes:“Do you think he was stupid?”“Yeah.”“Why? Because he stood up for himself while you guys stood there and watched?”I frown:“How did you know we stood there and watch?”He ruffles my hair:“Sasuke, two years ago when they stole your backpack and you were crying in the school yard everyone around you, even your classmates, stood there and watched.”I frown again:“I still think he is stupid. And he can’t stay still for one second. I think he has ADHD.”“And I think you’re rude” he says with a smile.“Me? Rude?” I retort.“Yeah” he nods “you think he is stupid because he stood up for himself, while you guys watched everything as if it was a movie.”I exhale exasperated:“He stood up from himself and now he is in trouble.”“I didn’t say he found the right way to stand up for himself, but he did. Which doesn’t make him stupid, it makes him brave. You should think about that” he says, finishing his cigar and hiding it in the jar with water that he keeps under one of the tiles. I swear Itachi talks sometimes like our principal, Hiruzen Sarutobi. He is a Philosophy teacher and sometimes he tells us things that are difficult to understand and Itachi’s words tonight are exactly the same as something that Sarutobi-sensei would say.We go back in our rooms and I go back to that shitty history project.For two days Naruto doesn’t come to school and Iruka-sensei tells us that he was “confined at home” aka “temporary expulsion” to “reflect upon his actions”. After two days he comes back wearing a hoodie with a japanese text on it “Kimi ni wa nani ga mieru? Teki wa nan da to omou?” that I recognize immediately. It’s Erwin’s words from “Attack on Titan”. I smirk thinking that probably he doesn’t know Japanese and he doesn’t know what that means.Kidomaru comes back too and he wears some sort of cast over his nose and he spits on every miserable guy who is stupid enough to stare at his beaten face.First class is homeroom and Naruto comes and sits near me in silence. He has a bruised eye and his knuckles are scratched, probably from punching Kidomaru everywhere. I stare at his hoodie and he notices:“Do I have something on my face?” he asks patiently.I smirk:“Do you even know what that means?” I say, pointing the text on his hoodie.“What do you see? Who do you think is the enemy?” he quotes proudly. Erwin Smith, “Shingeki no Kyojin” he finishes his speech with a solemn grimace.I roll my eyes:“Do you know Japanese or you just know what that means?” I push him, voice ironic.“Kimi wa itsumo iyana yatsu desu ka?” he answers with a smug face, which basically means “Are you always an asshole?” and I narrow my eyes. He barks a laugh, then suddenly stops because Kiba comes in the room. He fixes him with a feral look and the other one fixes him too and I smell another fight. Kiba and his spicky hair comes straight to my desk and I am sure he’s going to punch Naruto in the face, but instead he pats his shoulder and declares:“Good job Uzumaki, that motherfucker deserved everything.”Naruto is literally taken aback, I can see his shoulders relaxing and he scratches his nape and blushes a bit:“Y-yeah, no problem.”Kiba adds:“You kno’ at lunch break you can sit with us”, “us” meaning the other idiots in class.“Can Sasuke sit with us too?” Naruto suddenly asks and I swear one vein in my brain breaks:“WHAT?!” I reply, a little bit too loud. Half of the room has his eyes on me and Kiba’s eyes look empty. He stares at me, then at Naruto and finally shrugs:“Sure, if you want.”Then he goes at his desk, in the back of the class and Naruto turns to me and smiles stupidly. I want to start protesting, telling him that I am not eating with those idiots, but Iruka-sensei enters the room just then and his face looks scary.The room goes silent and he starts glaring at each of us, then his “you got into shit” voice fills the room:“Today we’ll talk about fights” he emphasizes “fights” and fixes Naruto. “You all know what happen two days ago. I also know that some of you didn’t try to stop this, by calling me or any other teacher. Why?”Silence. We all try to find a place to look, avoiding Iruka’s sensei judgemental eyes and his question.He clears his throat:“Naruto, why did you hit Kidomaru?”Naruto starts fidgeting with the pockets of his hoodie and answers:“Because he hit me too.”Iruka watches him with a serious face and pushes:“Just because of that? Ok, let me ask this differently – what did you want to prove by hitting him? What’s the moral?”Naruto watches Iruka for a second, then says innocently:“The m-m-oral is I can stand for myself if no one else will.”My stomach shrugs. This guy is completely all over the place, but he just said something that my genius brother said. The class starts murmuring and Iruka asks again:“Is this the right way to stand up for yourself?”Sakura answers:“No, you can’t throw punches at somebody just because the other one did the same.”Sensei nods again:“Then how do you stand up? You just watch as you guys did?”“No, we try to help” Choji, Shikamaru’s best friend answers.Iruka raises his eyebrows:“How do you try to help?”“Helping Naruto beat the crap out of that guy?” Kiba barks and some start to laugh.Iruka points him “one hour of detention for a stupid joke” he says and Kiba pouts.“Wrong answer. Again, how do you stand up? How do you help?”“We try to stop them and we call for a teacher or somebody else” Hinata, the shy girl of the class and Neji’s cousin declares.Iruka approves, pointing at Hinata:“Have you all heard what Hinata says? This is the last time I forgive you for watching this kind of behaviour as it would be a circus show. Do you understand? Our class may not be the best in this school, but you guys always stood up for each other. You helped Kiba when that guy from mister Ibiki’s class accused him of stealing his phone and you protected Hinata when those dogs were running after her last winter. Naruto may be new, but the moment he entered this room he became part of this class. Understood?““Yes, Iruka-sensei” we answer and Naruto seems touched by all of this.“And Naruto” sensei adds “don’t jump in fight every time you have a problem. Try to talk to people first, if there is a way to calm the spirits like that.”Naruto blushes and then nods. Iruka-sensei sends us to the other classes. Lunch at a table with Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Sakura, Hinata and Kiba is unavoidable. We all have fries on our plate because this was the only reasonable choice. Other options were: a green mass of slime labeled as “spinach with rice” and some burned “chicken nuggets”. The fries were the only thing that looked edible.I sit near Naruto, at the edge of the table. Shikamaru is on the other side, Choji and Kiba near him. Near Naruto is Sakura, Ino and Hinata. Even if they are older, Lee, Neji and Ten Ten joins us too, the boys immediately talking with Naruto about the fight. At a certain point Neji notices me:“Uchiha, I didn’t think you’ll sit with us. Aren’t we a little bit too cheap for you?”I give him a death stare and I am ready to snarl something, but Naruto interrupts me:“I asked him to stay. He watches “Shingeki No Kyojin”.To make things clear, Neji is a good guy, it’s just he comes from another well-known family in our city – Hyuuga. They have an automobile entreprise – “Hyuga Motors” and their parents forced them to go to a normal school and wear normal clothes. So Neji and Hinata obeyed and they asked everyone not to consider them “elite”. Not that I want to be considered one. Not exactly, but a name is a name. And dad insisted that if I don’t go to a private school, at least I should wear designer clothes and stuff. Itachi called this “the Uchiha pride”, but I didn’t want to stand against dad’s word. So Neji and me have a different understanding of what the name means and we are in some sort of competiton. Neji is last year’s best student and I always try to surpass his scores.The table goes silent, then Kiba leans over it and asks me, almost spitting his fries:“You watch “Attack on Titan???”I try to stay as calm as I say and answer:“Yeah, I like it.”“See?” Naruto smiles at the table “he is a nice guy if he watches this show, right?”And for the rest of the lunch we are drown in a fierce debate about the last episode of “Attack on Titan” and at the end of the day, when I go home I cannot believe that I stood at the same table with those guys… that I’ve known for years, since first grade…. but totally avoided them because they were not “elite”.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

My feet are drown in the 30 cm of snow that fell last night. I can feel the cold mass of ice entering my boots. Wonderful. I hate snow too. Actually, I hate people that don’t clean the pavement when it snows. And I hate snowballs wars, but this is another thing that is unavoidable in our school.The trenches are ready when I get closer to the school yard. The biggest one belong to the “mafia” – Jirobo with his pig face is ready to crash any miserable cockroach. His small eyes are scanning the yard looking for a target. I am pretty sure they’ll have the same idiotic idea as last year- to hide ice in the snowballs, so they can literally let you blind or cause you a bruise if one of those things hit you. Imbeciles…Kidomaru finally got his cast off after 3 months and a half and now his nose is even more uglier than before and he still looks at Naruto as if he would want to see him dead. Fortunately, no other fight occurred, but this doesn’t mean we got bored. Having Naruto as a classmate (and deskmate) is life changing…and this is sarcasm..The guy sucks at almost everything: math, geography, literature and science. He can’t count, can’t stay still, can’t read something without being goofy. The only thing that he is good at is PE. Ibiki Morino has that face which announces a long PE class. The only good thing is that we have an interior sport field and he didn’t make us stay in the freaking cold.“Most probably he’ll make us run 100 times around the field with a time limit” Kiba spits when we are aligned and ready to start stretching.Morino’s eyes are scanning us. The girls are playing volleyball in the other field and I hate them too. Just because they are girls it doesn’t mean they can skip “the torture of Hitler.”“Ok, gentlemen, it’s time to shine” he growls in a maniacal tone. He points at Naruto:“Uzumaki, 20 laps around the field in 10 minutes.”“Shit” Kiba wispers near me. “He’s done. It’s impossible to do 20 in 10 minutes. Maybe 20 in 20, but in 10, no way. The field’s too big.”Naruto ties his laces better and goes where Morino – sensei is waiting for him, with a timer in his hand. He gets ready and starts running when the teacher tells him “Start”. And we stay and watch for a while and I can hear people’s breaths starting to hitch in their lungs because Naruto is fast and constant in the effort he puts in and we figure he might actually do the 20 laps in 10 minutes. He finishes in 12 and he is drenched in sweat and red in cheeks and his hair is sticky and gross, but he gets near Morino and the teacher looks at him with narrow eyes:“Not bad Uzumaki. 12 minutes, not bad.”Naruto doesn’t say a thing, just breaths irregularly, but nods in response.“ON THE MATTRESS! ALL OF YOU!!” Hitler says and we move like robots.“Good job, man” Shikamaru says patting Naruto on the shoulder.“Yeah, he can suck something” Kiba barks and Naruto starts laughing.If he told us to go to the mattress I know what is next – something that Morino likes to call “the confrontation”. He basically makes us fight with each other, but without hurting our opponent. It’s something that Itachi would do as his karate classes, but the problem is we are not karate students, still Morino insists every once in a while to see us trying to push each other down.“UZUMAKI, UCHIHA HERE!!”
Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
Itachi taught me a few ways I can make my opponent go down, but now, while Naruto stays in front of me I feel my blood boiling. This guy is unpredictable, this guy is dead last in everything, I can’t stand him most of the time and now he is in front of me and he has this smug expression on his face, thinking probably that he can make me go down on the mattress. You wish!“Rules: no punches, no spitting, cursing or some other shit your brain will find as a solution in this case. I’m pretty sure you watched judo and karate. You have to make the opponent fall on the mattress by force or by finding a smart tactic. That’s all. START!”
“I’m pretty sure you watched judo or karate”. No shit! No, you psyho, we didn’t watch judo or karate. We don’t freaking know how to entertain you…
I stop the flow of thoughts because Naruto’s blue eyes are focused on me, probably trying to find a way to end this fast. He grabs my shoulders and tries to push me down and I can actually feel how strong he is. I don’t know what he did in the past, but his grip is actually painful. I grab his shoulders too and we just try to push each other down for a while, but nothing happens. I know it’s going to be stupid if we just stay like that and even more stupid if I get beaten by this guy, so I just try something with my feet, but Naruto figures and jumps somehow, but I aim for his other feet and he is down on the mattress.“Good” Ibiki spits “as always Sasuke, good.”I run my fingers through my bangs and give a smirk to Naruto who is still on the floor.“You didn’t actually believe you’ll beat Sasuke, right?” Sakura chirps from the margins.Naruto gives her a disgusted look and gets up from the floor, going near Kiba and massaging his butt where he fell.He looks annoyed all day and starts making stupid jokes with Kiba after lunch break, until Iruka-sensei gets them both out of the room in math class.When the bell rings at the end of the day I know I don’t have to rush back home. Outside the snowball war has started. It’s not just the “mafia”, it’s the entire school out there and I know it’ll take them more than 20 minutes to finish. I arrange my books in my locker when someone grabs me by the hand and pulls me towards the door. It’s Naruto.“You idiot, let me go, I am not going out there!” I snarl at him.“Come on, Sas-ke, you’ll miss the fun” he grins at me and I am sure this is payback time for PE.I swear I’ll kill this kid. I don’t know why I am stuck with him and I can’t tell him in the face to fuck off. When I manage to escape his grip it’s already too late. A snowball hits my nape, little pieces of ice making my scarf wet. Naruto starts to laugh histerically, grabs some snow and literally pushes it in my face. I have no other choice than to fight back and soon all the idiots in our class (I became one of them) are around and we fight in snow.When I get home my clothes are wet, even my underwear is and I try to avoid mum and dad, but mum catches me exactly when I get to the stairs:“Sasuke, aren’t you going to say hello to us?”I grimace and turn to her:“I..I just wanted to go change.”She analyses me for a second, then frowns:“Are you wet?”I look around for help, but Itachi is probably in his room:“Y-yeah..?”“Why?”“I..I played in snow after school.”I expect her to tell me something about the risks of playing in snow, but instead mum gives me a warm smile and adds:“Finally you discovered the pleasure of a snow fight. Now, go and change and let’s keep this away from your dad.”I know why she’s saying that. Dad would say that coming drenched in snow from school is a shame for an Uchiha and playing in snow it’s also a shame or something. Dad thinks I need to stay composed and serious all the time, because one day I’ll inherit (after Itachi) Konoha INC and everything I do could be used to ruin my perfect image. So, no fast food, no snow fights, no stupid jokes and definitely no bad scores. But instead of feeling ashamed that I broke dad’s rules, during dinner time I think how much I laughed with the idiots in class while snow was getting in my mouth, under my clothes and everywhere else. Until winter break mum manages to hide my “snow escapades” and only Itachi knows that almost everyday after school I stay with “the idiots” and fight with them in snow.When the holidays are gone we have to go back to school and the exams for the end of the semester are coming up. I am not worried, most probably I’ll get the highest scores in all, except that damn history project that I hate. That exam is the last one. It’s about the Holocaust and we need to make a presentation about it and it has to be “captivating” as our history teacher, Anko-sensei said and I hate presenting in front of people and making things “captivating”.On the day of the presentation I freak out because something is wrong with my computer and it doesn’t turn on. I try to charge it, I take the battery off, I even want to break it just to make it work, but it’s impossible. One hour until history classes and I am in panic mode. Naruto sees my clenched fists on the desk and asks:“Got something in your ass, Sas-ke?”“I swear I am not in the mood for your damn jokes” I spit at him.He frowns and retorts:“I’m sorry, your highness, I forgot you are too important to be bothered by my insignificant presence”.He sounds exactly like Neji, probably he learned these words from him. I give him a death stare and mumble that he is wasting my time, but he doesn’t let this go and pushes:“Come on, say what’s your problem!?”“My problem? Why do you care?”“Cuz you’ve just been an asshole to me. I bother.”I clench my fists even more and fight the urge to punch him, but I answer, because otherwise I know he won’t let me go:“My computer doesn’t work and the presentation for the history project is in an hour”.He frowns:“Did you try to charge it?”I sigh in exasperation:“I tried everything. It doesn’t work.”“Can you talk to sensei and tell her that your computer doesn’t work?”Definitely not. That would be a stupid excuse and I would probably fail the exam and dad would kill me. It would be a shame for the Uchiha name. We never ever fail an exam or find stupid excuses.“No” I tell him.He frowns and scratches his nape, then his face enlighten and he wispers:“I’ve got an idea. I’ll give you my project.”Is this guy retarded? How he thinks he can give me his project and he can present the same thing and Anko-sensei won’t figure this out??I give him a look of disgust and declare, waving my hand:“We’ll get expelled because of your stupid idea. Leave me alone. I’ll find a way.”“No, you asshole” he growls and grabs my hand “I already passed this test at my previous school. PE and history are the only subjects I get. I don’t have to pass it again. It is about the Holocaust, right?”I stare at him. How come he passed this exam already? And why they don’t make him pass it again if this is a different school? I shake my head:“It’s not going to work, Naruto. I don’t know what you wrote there.”“I have it printed too. You can read a bit before the presentation and everything will be fine. You’re a genius.”Before I can protest in any way he grabs me by the hand and pulls me after him in the hallway. He rummages for his phone in the locker and calls someone:“Hey, mum? Uhmm, can you bring me the history project? The one I got 100 points? Yeah, sorry, I forgot it. I just need to show them, that’s all…. 10 minutes? Great.”He turns the phone off:“Mum will be here in 10 minutes with the presentation and the print. I’ll help you with it, if you want.”
He can help me? Me? Sasuke Uchiha? The first in class? The second in school after Neji the genius…he can help me….you got to be kidding.
I want to start making fun of him, but the truth is I’m in deep shit and there is no way out.“But you have science now” I tell him.“Meh, I’ll skip it”.He goes to the schools gates and comes back 10 minutes later with a print and a CD. If I recall well he just said that he got 100 points for this. This is impossible. This is Naruto, who in the last months since he came in our school couldn’t get a score higher than 60. It’s definitely a joke and I’ll go down with his stupid idea. But then, I check the print and it’s actually very good and complete and some observations are even better than what I wrote.He comes with a laptop that he took from Lee and puts it on our desk:“Now” he wispers  “we just need to change my name with yours and maybe modify the design a bit.”The PPT he made has animations and stuff and it’s definitely “captivating”. He changes the name, then asks me what design I want and then everything it’s done. For the next 40 minutes I keep reading the print and he gives me advice, patiently, how to make the presentation more interesting.When the bell rings in my ears for the exam I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore. I just know I go there and put the presentation on the screen and a cold bead of sweat goes down my spine because this is fraud and if somebody finds out I’ll be expelled and dad will decapitate me. But the things go smooth and at the end of all presentations Anko-sensei comes in front of us and declares:“Ok, so some of you got the idea of what a presentation means and what the Holocaust was. Some of you got nothing from the tips I gave you whole semester.”
I’m pretty sure she talks about me. I’m fucked. I’ll kill Naruto first, then I’ll kill myself.
Anko-sensei goes on:“The best out of the best is a project that has everything. Good research, good print, nice PPT and a presentation that makes sense” and sensei points at me and adds “good job, Sasuke. You’ll get 100 points for this.”100 points?! I know for sure Neji got 96 last year, so this just means that I surpassed him because this was the last exam and I got 100 points for all the others and we were even and now…now I surpassed him with Naruto’s project. Naruto made a project better than Neji. Naruto……WHAT?I stay right there, dumbfounded until Anko-sensei finishes her speech and when I go back in our room Naruto waits for me:“So, how was it?”I blush and stutter:“I…I..I got.. got 100 points”.He gives me a super wide smile. He looks as a freaking cartoon character and pats my shoulder:“I told you. Now you can get the thing out of your ass.”I stare at him because I cannot believe. This guy risked his school record, which isn ‘t good already by the way, just to help me “get the thing out of my ass”. I feel ashamed and scared, but I feel like I owe him one now. So, as I was not educated to be a barbarian I whisper:“Thank you, Naruto. I owe you one.”He waves his hand:“Neeah, don’ worry”.And so the first semester ends. In the second semester I have three classes in common with Sakura. Three. Classes. In. common. With. Sakura: science, literature and geography. In all of them the teachers put me and her in the same team project because this semester is about team work. I want to be hit by a car. Why in the world this girl makes that high pitched squeak everytime she sees me?? Like why would you do that every damn time you see a person? And if I thought my semester wasn’t a nightmare already, in history I have to sit near Naruto. Well, he helped me, but I still don’t want to sit near him in a class I don’t like after I passed that class by giving his project as mine. As mum says when dad is angry  “God help us”.After the first week of school I arrive on Friday later at dinner because I lost the damn bus. When I enter the kitchen mum is silently putting the baked potatoes on my plate while Itachi stares at the candle. Tension is in the air. I sit on my place and immediately dad turns to me, eyes throwing fire:“Do you have something to tell us, Sasuke?”My chest tighten. The only thing I may have to say it’s about the whole deal with the history project. But in no way dad would be able to find out first, before the teachers or even me. So I just froze and say, voice already shaking a bit:“I don’t know what I’m supposed to tell you, dad..”His jaw clenches and Itachi lets out an exasperated sigh:“It’s just snow dad, he didn’t rob a bank..”I look at Itachi and figure what this is about. The snow fights from last winter. But does he has to make such a deal out of it?“Just snow fights? He was seen by the entire school messing around with a bunch of imbeciles” dad snaps at him.Itachi rolls his eyes:“He is 12. What do you expect him to do?”“SILENCE!” dad yells, hitting the table with his fists. Mum jolts in her chair, then she gets up and retorts:“We are not your employees in the office so you can order us around, Fugaku. It’s a snow fight, he is a damn child and he can have fun from time to time. He’ll go crazy by the age of 18 if you keep prohibiting him to live his childhood.”Dad is beyond angry now fixing her with his black eyes. Mum grabs me by the elbow and Itachi and pulls us towards the stairs:“Go to your room. No dinner tonight. I have to talk to your dad.”Itachi grabs me by the hand and before we reach the second floor I can already hear them fighting.It’s not usual for me to cry, but now I want to and I start to, because is so unfair that dad got so angry with me just because last winter I played with snow more than ever. I mean I am not allowed to do so many things that today’s kids do. This is so unfair. Itachi sees my tears and pushes me in his room. He has Japanese symbols written in black ink on all his latte shade walls. I know some of them are quotes from anime or mangas and others are just things he wrote. I start sobbing and he hugs me:“Shhhh, little brother. It’s ok. You don’t have to cry for this.”“But” I protest “I..why does he has to be so mean?”Itachi leads me to his bed and sits in his knees before me, grabbing a tissue and starting to wipe my tears off:“He is not mean. Dad just want us to be an example for the others because we come from this family. So, sometimes he is just too strict.”“Was he the same with you?”  I ask.Itachi looks into my eyes:“Yeah, he was. Maybe even more strict than with you.”“How come you are not bothered?” I protest thinking that I was a loser again comparing to my big genius brother.“I was, but I didn’t obey his rules all the time. I did what he wanted me to, but I also did what I wanted.”“Yeah” I retort “because you are a genius and you can get away with everything without dad noticing.”He laughs and ruffles my hair:“I’ll teach you how you can get away with everything too.”“Yeah?” I ask full of hope.“Yeah” he says poking my forehead “now stop crying.”Itachi got away with many things from dad and I’m not talking only about smoking. Because he always got great marks and was a karate champion, dad never found out that Itachi got into school fights, rode a motorcycle, pranked principal Sarutobi in 7th grade or skipped classes here and there. If dad would have found out I am sure Itachi would have been forever confined at home. Besides, my brother had such a different opinion compared to dad. I figured this out since Itachi was 13. He would fight dad back when he talked too much about the importance of our family name or the importance of his behaviour and with years I started to wonder if Itachi will truly inherit the company. And since he got in highschool he became even more rebel, taking my side everytime my father’s pretences would crush me and smoking on the roof, not just highschool breaks.Now we are on the roof again and a string of smoke enters my lungs. I wave my hand to make it go away. Itachi chuckles:“Don’t put this things in your mouth. You won’t be able to let them down.”I watch him: jet black hair in a ponytail ruffled by the wind, fine nose just like mum, eyes just like dad’s.“Sometimes you sound like an old man” I tell him.He snorts:“Really? Never figured that out. I thought I was your cool big brother.”I shrug:“You are, just sometimes you sound like an adult.”He smiles at me and then his eyes stare at the sky. I don’t know why, but suddenly I feel like I am alone on the roof and Itachi is not there with me anymore. Like he disappears, just like a ghost. Then he looks me in the eye again and I don’t feel alone anymore:“I just want you to feel that you have a person to go to if dad doesn’t approve you all the time. I want to be that person for you.”And I don’t understand very well what he means, because dad is dad and we need to listen to him, but I nod anyway. The next day it’s science and it’s Sakura time. Dad didn’t answer me this morning when I greeted him, but mum said he is going to come to better thoughts soon. So, I am in a shitty mood when I sit near Sakura in our desk.She starts fumbling and keeps throwing glances at me. Hayate-sensei enters the room and starts writing stuff about molecules on the blackboard and nobody pays attention, including me. I am too focused on Sakura’s annoying fumbling near me. At a certain point I snap:“Sakura, calm the fuck down” I growl at her.She blinks a few times then I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She asks Hayate-sensei to go to the bathroom and doesn’t come back until the bell rings.I now stand in front of my locker getting ready for geography when Naruto comes and smashes the door:“Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you?”I turn to him, jaw clenching:“What’s your problem?”“You made Sakura cry, you asshole, why?” he snaps.“She is annoying” I retort.“She is annoying? For you everyone that tries to make a conversation with your damn proud ass is annoying?!”“She wasn’t making any conversation, she was just fumbling like a retarded person near me.”The moment I let those words out I feel Naruto’s punch in my jaw and I hit my back on the lockers. People around the hallway stare at us.“You asshole” Naruto spits before turning around and vanishing.Kimimaro comes and checks my lip. It bleeds a bit, but it’s not bad:“Should I go to a teacher?” he asks cautiously.“No, it’ll cause too much trouble for me.” I deserved that.At lunch break I just find Sakura. She sits near Ino and has a gloomy expression. Ino hisses when I approach them and turns her back completely on me. I drink some water, then lean over the table so I can see Sakura who hides behind Ino and say:“I’m sorry, Sakura. I just have a bad day.”Sakura fixes me with her teal eyes for a while, then starts blushing and nods. Out of nowhere I receive a blow over my nape and Naruto barks:“Now you can sit with us, asshole.”I glare at him. Did I just let this guy punch me two times today?!“What?” he grins “now you are just less of an asshole”.Kiba laughs while he takes a seat on the other side of the table and tells Naruto:“Dude, no one ever did that to Sasuke. You’ll be lucky if you’re not thrown in prison.”Neji, who also appears out of nowhere declares:“He still has time to go to daddy and tell him.”I snarl at him:“Do you have a problem with me, Hyuuga?”Neji’s grey eyes narrow:“Maybe I do.”I am ready to fight back when Naruto puts a hand on my shoulder and barks at Neji:“C’mon Neji, don’t ruin the mood. He just had something stuck up in his ass but he said he’s sorry.”Neji gives him an eye roll, but the thing is over. Sakura smiles at me again and for the rest of the semester I manage to be “less of an asshole.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The only good thing about 7th grade is that after it there is just one more year and school is over and you can go to highschool. The bad thing is that if you are in 7th grade and you are in my school, you have to take part in the interschools competition. This is basically Ibiki Morino’s idea from years ago. You see, he was bored one day so he decided that it would be nice to have an interschools competition in our city and that this competition should be similar to the freaking Olympics, because otherwise it would be a waste of time. So, Sarutobi-sensei agreed, they got all the papers they needed and since then, every year all the important schools in our city (25) are gathering in this huge ass competition that is the “Interschools Annual Championship”. This thing takes place in late spring for a damn month, but the selection of students starts in September.Guess what, now it’s September and we are aligned on the field and Hitler is scanning us, from head to toe, trying to figure out in which sport competition he should send us.He clears his throat and spits:“Uzumaki, you’ll be in track – middle distance running.”Naruto nods and takes the piece of paper that Ibiki’s giving him for registration.“Uchiha – judo.”“What?” I protest “sensei, I don’t do judo.”He frowns:“Uzumaki doesn’t do track either. Take the paper, Uchiha, I don’t want to hear.”It sounds like a death sentence. I just yank the paper out of his hand.“Inuzuka – football – forward position”.Kiba moans and with a grimace takes the paper and comes near Naruto whispering “Fuck this guy”.Ibiki goes and smacks his nape then goes back to where he stood in front of the students and keeps barking:“Akimichi – bowling”.“Nara – archery”.“Aburame”, who is a new guy that came this year, “football with Inuzuka – goalkeeper.”Then he adds:“Now the ladies – Haruno – judo.”Sakura blinks stupidly at him, shakes her head and takes the paper.“Yamanaka – rhythmic gymnastics.”“Hyuuga – volleyball”.He calls the rest of the class and we all sit there completely deflated because none of us can get how we are suppose to compete in those respective disciplines if we don’t usually compete in those respective disciplines….mindfuck..After we complete the papers sensei takes them and sits in front of us, hands folded around the chest:“This is not something that you have to do perfect. I picked you for certain disciplines because you showed abilities in that. Until spring you have time to refine those abilities. From now on you’ll get scores in my class based on your progress.”At this point we all do a collective “Whaaaaat? But senseeeeeei”.He clenches his jaw and we shut up:“This.is.my.last.word. Any objections?”We are already frozen, no one dares to say a thing.“Free to go, then” Ibiki says and we go to change in normal clothes.“Maaaaan” Naruto groans on the way to lunch break “this is so stupid.”“That terrorist is out of his mind” Kiba adds “how ta fuck are we suppose to get scores if we don’t usually do these things?! I swear I’ll fail at PE this year.”“Hey, what’s going on?” Lee comes out of nowhere and puts his hands around Kiba’s and Naruto’s neck. Kiba spits:“Interschools Annual Fuckery”.Lee laughs:“Come on, guys, this is not that bad. Me, Neji and Tenten were selected again.”“How come? You’re in your last year” I observe. Lee turns to me:“Can you refuse Morino?”I exhale in disgust:“No.”“Then you have my answer.”After we take our food (fries are the only thing edible this year too) and we sit around the table (Neji, Tenten and this new guy Aburame Shino included) Naruto asks:“What disciplines are you in?”Neji answers:“I’m in judo. Lee is in karate and Tenten in archery.”“Ooooh, you’ll be in judo with Sasuke” Kiba sing-songs.Neji gives me a disgusted look, but then swallows and declares:“Let’s just hope we’ll do well”.I smirk at him while imagining in my head how I imitate his smug tone “LeT’s Juzt HopHe we’LL doe WeLL” motherfucker…Naruto snorts seeing my face but doesn’t say a thing.At the end of the day I’m rummaging in my locker for my keys when he taps me on the shoulder:“Yo, do you go home?”“Yeah”.“I’ll come with you then.”“We don’t live in the same neighbourhood” I observe.“Then I’ll just walk with you until we take different paths” he crooks his nose at me imitating my voice.I shut the locker and we head home.“You still don’t like Neji” he observes, shoving his hands in his already iconic orange hoodie and pulling out the other iconic pack of M&M’s. He spills some in his hands and grimaces when he notices that there is no orange one left. He shoves some blue and yellow buttons in his mouth and hands the pack to me, without asking, as he did in the last year.“He doesn’t like me either” I snort, taking the pack from him and shoving 3 or 4 chocolate buttons in my mouth. Bleah, too sweet.“Maybe it’s because you are an asshole 90% of the time” he declares, wiggling his eyebrows at me.I run my hand through my hair:“If I am such an asshole, why don’t you leave me alone?”He starts laughing:“Because we’re friends, asshole” he answers, then crosses his hands under his nape.“We’re not friends, Naruto” I retort.He turns to me, but keeps walking with his hands up:“We spend time together, we eat together, I helped you last year with history, you gave me answers in math, we went to movies, I call you asshole and you call me idiot. That sounds like we are friends to me.”“Hmph, that sounds like you are a pest and I can’t get away from you” I reply.He starts laughing again and we arrive at the bus station:“So, I’ll keep going that way” he says pointing the direction “see ya tomorrow”.I just nod and watch him as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and keeps walking. His hair is still a mop this year, but he is a little taller and his skin has a darker shade. He told me he stood in the sun last summer. And I know it’s stupid, but I feel like Naruto is right. Maybe he is my friend, maybe this is what friends are. I’ve never had a friend before. Well, there was Kimimaro, but I’ve never considered him a friend, he was more like an acquaintance. His parents were doctors and my dad knew them and he told me I should spend time with kids like Kimimaro. He moved to another city this year, but I don’t exactly miss him. I wonder why…. The PE class is the only one that freaks us out for the rest of the semester. I mean geography who? Math who? Even for Naruto all the other subjects start to look like a piece of cake, but everytime we have to go for PE beads of sweat are forming on his forehead. I can totally get him because PE becomes a nuisance even for me. Hitler is known for the fact that he can actually fail people in PE and that would make you a total loser. If you fail in Iruka’s math class in 7th grade no one will judge you, but if you fail in PE, you’re done.Naruto comes huffing and puffing from his 20 laps around the field. His shirt is drenched in sweat and he silently curses “God dammit!” for 5 minutes. Kiba also arrives on the bench where we are staying and spits:“I swear this year is the shittiest of them all”. He also looks messy and angry, because he received a ball in face from Shino.“20 laps…he..made..me..run..for..20..fucking…laps” Naruto puffs.“We’ll hack up our lungs if we keep up like this” Kiba adds.Shikamaru drags his feet closer to our group. He has a huge blister on the right index finger, the one he uses to pull the bow string and he sighs:“This is so troublesome…but I guess it’s worth it”.“It’s worth it? Did you hit your head or something?” Kiba mocks him.Shikamaru gives him an ironic look and explains:“Look, idiot, Lee knows someone from Suna school. They are our main enemy this year. The guy has a younger brother name Gaara and he’ll be in track with Naruto. And you know what the older brother, Kankuro, said to Lee?”Kiba and Naruto raise their eyebrows in expectancy. Shikamaru keeps on:“That we are a bunch of gays and our school will lose again this year, cuz a bunch of gays cannot win…”I scruntch my nose. Is that suppose to be an insult or something? Gays? What the actual fuck…but if I seem indifferent at this, Naruto and Kiba have their jaws clenched and Naruto spits:“Motherfucker. We’ll win. I’ll kick that Gaara guy’s ass!!”“Yeah, definitely” Kiba approves “no one calls me gay and gets away with that.”“And, by he way, Sasuke. Lee said that that Kankuro guy said that our school is nothing without your brother. And Lee told him that it’s one Uchiha left and that guy laughed.”“Brother?” Naruto repeats turning to me, but I can’t pay attention to him. Did someone just mocked me? Like…mocked..me? Sasuke Uchiha? I narrow my eyes and answer both Sikamaru and Naruto:“Itachi is in highschool now and we haven’t won this Fuckery since he left three years ago. But we’ll win now. I don’t know who this imbecile is, but no one mocks the Uchihas and gets away with that.”Naruto approves, nodding violently:“Yeah, asshole, we’ll fucking win.”I bet we will.The girls come to sit near us too. Sakura has a huge bruise on her elbow and her hair goes in all directions. Ino seems out of order and Hinata huffs and puffs.“UCHIHA!” Ibiki’s voice echoes in the gym and makes my eardrum vibrate uncomfortably “for the next three weeks you’ll train with Haruno. She sucks!”Sakura gives me a beaten dog face and I just shrug:“I’ll help you, Sakura. Don’t worry.”Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba, Ino and Hinata stare at me for a second and I want to ask the fuck is their problem, but Morino barks our names again and we need to go for round two of torture.Until spring I have to share my training session with Sakura. Everything is extremely awkward at first, because she keeps blushing and I keep thinking how am I suppose to help her, but then, after the first week we start to get things done. I can understand after a while why Ibiki sent her to judo – she has a monstrous strength for a girl and she has an advantage because she seems so innocent.She actually manages to drag me down on the mattress and I risk and teach her even more complicated things. And it’s weird because suddenly our lives are revolving around the PE class and the competition and we start to spend a lot of time together. Two weeks before the competiton Ibiki hands us the T-shirts: on the front it’s written “Rookie 9”, which is the name of our team and on the back “Konohagakure School”, which is our school. The girls have pink T-shirts and the boys have black, but for some unknown reason we just love it.The championship starts on 10th April and it’s held on one of the biggest sports stadium in our city. The soccer games are the first, then is judo and karate, then archery, then the volleyball matches, then gymnastics and finally track. It’s a rough month because the competitions are on weekends and with every week the schools get more and more fired up. We don’t care exactly what place we’ll win in the end, but we want indeed to beat Suna and show those imbeciles who we are. So, every time someone starts to back down we immediately recall the gay joke, which gets even the girls angry and we are back on fight mode.Our team loses the soccer game and the volleyball matches, but I manage to get 1st place in judo and Neji the 2nd. For girls, Sakura gets also the 2nd and beats the crap out of Kankuro’s older sister, Temari. Lee gets the 3rd place in Karate and Shikamaru the 10th in archery. Ino manages only the 5th in gymnastics, but Choji finishes 1st in bowling and our school can get the third place in the overall competition only if we beat Suna in track. So, everything depends on Naruto…“D-day is heeereeee” Choji sing-songs on the way to the field. Kiba snorts:“If the idiot loses I’ll kill him”.“Don’t worry, Kiba, Sasuke will kill him first” Neji comments.I smirk, for once he is right.We take our place near the chain link fence that separates the stands from the tracks. Naruto is stretching and he seems very focused. His black T-shirt has a huge “10.UZUMAKI” written in blue capitals under the “Rookie 9”. He sees us and gives a thumbs up. The referee announces them to go to their places on the tracks. Naruto is on the third line and Gaara, the guy from Suna is on the fourth. He wears a burgundy T-shirt with “Sunagakure no Kyōdai”, “3.GAARA” on the front and “Sunagakure School” on the back. I think this is the most stupid team name they could have found. “Sunagakure no Kyōdai” (Brothers of the Sand?) What the fuck…. Besides, this guy is an emo kid, you know those kids that wear kohl eyeliner and have a “dead inside” face. He looks creepy because he is a redhead and he has these teal-blue eyes and around them is a burgundy kohl that makes him look sick.They get in their positions and the referee whistles. Naruto jolts forward and all Rookie 9 hold their breaths. He has to make 8 laps around the field and for the first 3 he maintains his 3rd position out of the 10 overall numbers of competitors. But, after the 4th he loses his rhythm and that emo kid is after him. When he gets in the 5th lap Kiba screams, shaking his fist in the air:“Hey loser, don’t be a loser!!!”But Naruto doesn’t seem to hear and Kiba instantly deflates and we all think that we’ll lose, because that Gaara guy already catches up on him. I am pretty much sure it is because his sprained ankle, but he accepted to compete anyway so, damn, he needs to win! Rookie 9 lose their shit already, screaming how hard they can and encouraging him, but it seems like he gave up. And then, when he gets in his 6th lap I lose my shit and climb the fence and shout:“YO, DEAD-LAST, I BET YOU CAN’T WIN!!”I am pretty sure he’s not going to react in any way, but then Naruto raises one of his hands and gives me the middle finger when he gets past us, but he also speeds up, even more than at the beginning and Rookie 9 jump closer to the fence and we scream and shout:“GOOOO GOOOO GOOOOO!!!!”And he catches up all the guys and he throws himself on the ground the moment he finishing the 1st. We start jumping and hugging each other and after the referee announces that he won we go to the track and jump on him.After everyone hugs him he comes before me, shows me the middle finger and pokes me in the nose with it, grinning:“You lost the bet, asshole.”I smirk:“If I wouldn’t have said that you’d have finished the last, dead-last.”He sticks his tongue out and Shikamaru observes:“Hey, guys, the final ranking is here.”We look on the board and indeed Konohagakure School won the third place, thanks to Naruto’s last effort. Ibiki comes to us and puts a hand on Naruto’s shoulder:“Good job, soldiers! This was indeed an example of teamwork.”“Are you going to tell us that our school is proud of us, sensei?” Kiba jokes and Ibiki contemplates each of us, then declares:“No, Inuzuka. You don’t need your school to be proud of you. You have to be proud of yourselves and if you really need someone else to be proud of you, well hear that I am.”And Kiba and the rest of Rookie 9 from Konoha School go silent, because Hitler, that Hitler who tortured us in the last months of our 7th school year looks indeed proud.“DINNER AT MCDONALDS TONIGHT, SOLDIERS!” he yells and we go to the lockers to change, take our backpacks and head to the respective fast-food.Half an hour later we are in the biggest McDonald’s in our city and the entire restaurant stares at us because we make a mess until we sit at the table. Then, as if we would still be in PE Ibiki barks:“I’LL ORDER SOLDIERS AND I’LL PAY!! AND I CALLED YOUR PARENTS, THEY KNOW YOU’LL BE LATE TONIGHT”  and we think he’s going to wait and see what we want to order, but he leaves without asking us anything.“We’ll have to eat what he gives us, isn’t it?” Kiba mewls.Lee starts laughing histerically:“God, he did the same last year with our team.”Sakura looks mortified:“What is he going to order?”“You’d better ask how much he is going to order” Neji comments, his grey eyes having a warn hidden within.“H-how m-m-uch?” Hinata stutters.Tenten puts her hands on the table and declares:“Last year he ordered 20 menus and he didn’t let us leave until we ate everything.”“20 MENUS?!” Kiba yells in a high pitched exasperated voice “but we are 13!!”Neji gives him an eye roll and says:“Don’t worry, we were 8 last year….”Naruto seems panicked:“He’s kiddin’. How much does he think we can eat?.”“A lot” Shino who was silent up until now observes “why? Because he thinks we burned a lot of calories during the last month and we need energy.”“I’m pretty sure we’ll vomit after this” Ino spits and crosses her arms around her chest.Ibiki returns to the table with two full trays in his hands and three other McDonald’s employees come with other 6 full trays. And this is just the food. The drinks are not here yet. After the last tray with drinks arrives the employee tells us “to have a nice evening” but I am pretty much sure he spit in one of the drinks thanks to how much mess we made in that restaurant.So, 20 BIG menus at McDonald’s…..5 Double Cheesburger Menus, 5 Big Mac Menus, 5 McChicken Menus, 5 Royal Deluxe Menus….we stare at the food and then we stare at each other and I swear we all try to figure out how much each of us has to eat to finish this. Then Ibiki barks:“Eat soldiers. I haven’t brought you here to look at each other as you’d be in love” and we eat.Two hours later everyone surrendered already. When Ibiki goes to the toilet Kiba groans:“I swear this is a bigger fuckery than the Interschools Annual Fuckery”.Naruto just snorts but doesn’t say a thing. I think he’s sick because he is sprawled over his chair, hand on a huge roung belly and eyes closed. I ate one menu and a half and the others almost the same thing, but there were fries too and the drinks and now we are all in food coma.Ibiki comes back from the toilet and declares:“NOW, HOME SOLDIERS. ON MONDAY I GIVE YOU THE FINAL SCORES FOR THE SEMESTER.” I look at the time – 10 PM and I need to take two damn buses from here. Dad is going to kill me even if Ibiki called him and told him I’ll be late. When we get out of the restaurant Choji, Shikamaru, Ino, Hinata and Neji tell Morino that they have to take the subway. Kiba, Shino, Lee and Tenten tell him their parents we’ll be there to pick them up and Naruto points out a red ugly truck and says his mother is already waiting for him.“Uchiha, how are you going home?”“Sasuke will come with me” Naruto barks before I am able to answer.“What?” I snarl at him, but Ibiki already turns around:“Very well, then. The rest of you after me.”I glare at Naruto and he protests:“This is for the lost bet, asshole. You’ll sleep at my place.”“What? Did you eat your brain too? I am not going anywhere with you” I retort.“I bet you’re a scared cat and you’re afraid to sleep at my place” he says grinning.I clench my jaw:“Tell your mother to call my parents, dead-last, we’ll have a sleepover.”And he starts laughing histerically on the way to the truck.The car is an old red Chevrolet 3600 Truck, rusted here and there. Naruto’s mum stays in the driver’s seat and when we get closer she smiles, all teeth glimmering. The truck has 3 seats and Naruto goes near her:“Hey, mum, thanks for coming.”“Don’t worry, pumpkin pie! Who’s your friend?”“Good evening, miss Uzumaki” I greet and she smiles. Now that we got closer I can see her better. She has dark blue eyes and a very long red chilli hair and her smile it’s exactly as Naruto’s.“He is Sasuke, mum. It’s ok if he stays over the night?”“Hi, Sasuke” she answers in a giddy voice “of course it’s ok, dear. Do I have to call your parents, Sasuke?”“If it’s ok for you, miss Uzumaki” and I hand her my mobile phone with my mum’s number.“Call me Kushina, dear. And don’t worry. I’ll clear things with your mum.”She dials the number and in a giddy, but very polite voice she explains my mum the situation and the things are settled in a matter of seconds. Then she hands me the phone back.“So, you are the Sasuke Naruto’s been raving about” she chuckles and Naruto nudges her elbow and mewls:“Muuuuum, c’mon! Don’t embarrass me!”“I won’t” she retorts “but you’ve been talking about Sasuke since last year.”I stare at Naruto and say:“I hope he said good things about me.”Naruto’s mum keeps her eyes forward, but she smiles:“Only good things. That you are smart, ambitious and a bit difficult sometimes.”I give Naruto a side look. I am pretty much sure he told his mum that I am an asshole.“So, tell me how was dinner” she adds.“Mum, he made us eat 20 menus.”She laughs, the sound her voice makes hitting the walls of the truck and making the air giddy:“Oh dear, I made pizza at home. I think you won’t eat, don’ cha?”Naruto grimaces:“No, mum, sorry.”“It’s ok, pumpkin pie. What about ice cream?”Naruto leans to her and asks shyly:“Melon?”“Yeeeeah” she answers “ and your dad bought mint and chocolate ice cream too.”“Perfect” I say “ I don’t like melon.”Naruto’s mum snorts:“You sound like my husband, Sasuke-kun.”“He hates sweet stuff mum, how can you hate sweet stuff?” Naruto comments.Kushina looks at him a bit, then winks at me:“It’s not Sasuke’s problem dear, it’s yours. You are a sappy person.”Naruto frowns and whines again:“Muuuuuum…”In a half an hour we get to Naruto’s neighbourhood. It’s somewhere in the downtown, but it’s quiet and cozy. Their house has a cream colour and no first or second floor like mine. It’s very simple, but the moment Naruto’s mum opens the door the smell of pizza and cozy place hits me. A red Akita Inu pup comes running and jumps on Naruto the moment the door opens.“Kurama, down” Naruto giggles, but leans in and lets the pup lick him. I didn’t know he had a dog.Kushina observes me:“Hope you don’t hate dogs, Sasuke-kun. He stays in the house, but we can take him out for tonight if you’re not used to pets inside.”“Oh, no” I wave my hand “it’s ok. I just stared because he is agitated as Naruto”.Kushina blinks then starts laughing hard:“Indeed he is.”She leads us to the kitchen where Naruto’s dad is taking the pizza out of the oven. He has blond hair, a bit longer than his son and ruffled like Naruto’s and light blue eyes. Now I can connect the dots- Naruto probably has his dad appearance and his mum’s personality. He sees me and smiles:“We have guests tonight.”“Yes, Minato, this is Sasuke. He’ll stay tonight.”Naruto’s dad reaches his hand for me to shake:“Hi, Sasuke-kun. Nice to finally meet you.”“Nice to meet you too, mister Uzumaki.”Naruto’s mum giggles:“Oh, no dear. He is a Namikaze. Naruto has my name.”“Oh, I see” I answer and in the back of my mind I feel like I heard the name Namikaze before.“Pizza?” Minato asks and I answer:“I’m sorry, mister Uzumaki, but we ate too much at McDonald’s”.Naruto sits on a chair and whines:“Dad, Hitler made us eat 20 menus”.Minato raises his eyebrows:“20 menus? But aren’t you 12 or 13?”“Imagine that they are, dear” Kushina says, ruffling Naruto’s hair “but they are up for an ice cream”.Minato asks us:“Both melon?”“Just mint and chocolate for me” I answer with a lopsided smile and Minato laughs:“Finally someone that agrees with me that melon ice cream tastes bad.”Both Naruto and his mum frown in the same way. Kushina pinches Minato’s elbow and observes:“It’s not our fault that you guys don’t know to enjoy the pleasures in life.”Minato snorts:“Do you hear that, Sasuke-kun?” and he winks at me. Kushina pinches him again, but he leans in and gives her a peck on the nose, that make both her and Naruto giggle. And I simply stare because I’ve never seen my parents like this.We take the ice cream and go into their small living room, with an old TV and an old sofa. Minato suggest to make a “Lord of the Rings” marathon and Naruto screams a “Yaaaaas”, but he falls asleep by the end of “The Fellowship of the Ring.” I fall asleep after the first 10 minutes of “The Two Towers”, but next morning I wake up in Naruto’s room and I suppose his parents carried us.The thing that makes me wake up is Naruto’s giggles from his bed and the sound of tongue licking cheeks that his dog makes. His room is very small, with blue walls filled with “Attack on Titan” posters. He has an old computer on the desk, you know, that one that still has a floppy disk and a CD-ROM and one bookshelf filled with all the volumes that appeared until now from “AOT”.His pijamas are blue with oranges on them. I realise I have a different T-shirt than mine and I am in my underwear. I slept on a mattress near Naruto’s bed. He sees me confused and explains:“I think dad changed you. Don’t worry, he changes my clothes too sometimes.” Then he stares for a bit at me and laughs:“Your hair looks like a bird’s nest.”I smirk:“I don’t think you are the one to talk. You’re hair was a mess, but now your dog licked it and it looks disgusting.”He sticks is tongue out and spits:“Asshole.”“Idiot” I retort, but he starts laughing.We change, do something about our bed head and go take breakfast. Naruto’s mum humms in the kitchen and his dad sips from a big mug of coffee. He sees us and smiles:“Ah, the soldiers of Mordor…”Naruto chuckles:“Those are orcs, dad”.“Yeah, yeah, I know.”“What do you want to eat?” Kushina asks both of us.“Toast is fine for me, miss Uzumaki.”She turns completely to me and her blue eyes are glimmering:“Ku-shi-na, Sasuke-kun”.I blush but nod:“Kkk-kushina…san” I add and Minato starts laughing:“It’s ok, Sasuke. Call us how you want and come more often from now on.”Kushina nods vigorously and Naruto blinds me with his smile. I answer, trying not to get embarrassed:“Thank you. I’ll try.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In total I slept at Naruto for 10 times and dad was more and more angry everytime. Half of our sleepovers were during the semester and half in that summer. For some reason I was feeling relaxed and giddy in Naruto’s simple house. Plus, his parents were the same age like mine, but sometimes they were teasing each other like highschoolers and teasing their son even more. Their dog was an idiot, just like Naruto, but everytime I was telling myself I’m not gonna go to his house again I knew I lied. Itachi was the only one who openly encouraged me to keep this connection alive, while dad was talking more and more about the Uzumaki family as if it was some kind of plague.And now it’s morning and it’s the first day of the last year of school. I am taller with 3 cm, but still skinny as a damn toothpick. And I can’t wait to go to highschool and maybe satisfy my dad in a way or another and make him forget about the sleepovers. By the way, I got the chance to go to them because mum and Itachi pestered dad.I walk through the school yard and Kiba howls from the other side of it:“Yoo, Sasuke!” waving his hands in the air like a motherfuckin’ bird. Naruto is near him, grinning mischievously. He has a box at his feet and when I get closer I realize is full with ballons.“What’s that?” I ask, pointing the box.Both Naruto and Kiba snort and the blond idiot answers:“There is a tradition in this school…the seniors have to make something in the first day of their last year to remain in history.”I frown, then it hits me:“Oh fuck” I say, slapping my face.Let me explain: first day of the last year for a senior is called “The Second Fuckery Day” after “Interschools Fuckery Month”. It’s basically the way the students decided 5 or 6 years ago they can take revenge on teachers for the torture during the championship. So, basically in the first day of their last year the seniors have to make a big prank/a big mess, which usually ends up with detention/expulsion and an Ibiki Morino that spits on you while he barks and one of the veins on his forehead pulses.Itachi also did this, even if it’s a surprise that an Uchiha got into such a mess. But believe me or not, Itachi was the one who planned his year “fuckery” and got away with that….from dad I mean. Just because he was the perfect son.So, this year Naruto is in charge and I don’t know if I want to hear his plan or not, because he is the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen and his mind is sometimes a mess. I swear, we are 14 but this kid still acts like a brat with ADHD.“I’m afraid to ask what’s the plan” I declare, giving Naruto a poker face stare.He grins even more, getting creepier that usual and he says:“Balloons, water balloons to be specific. But they are filled with paint. All colors. We’ll turn this boring building into a rainbow.”My eyes grow bigger, I am sure they did because I am totally mortified. Our school building is WHITE. WHITE. A perfect canvas for something like this, but fortunately he has only a few balloons in his box.“Don’t worry, Choji will bring the rest of 6 boxes” Kiba says when he notices me staring at the box.“SIX MORE?” I ask, sounding like Sakura when he sees me. “Are you crazy?! Naruto, I swear THIS will get you expelled.”He waves his hand in front of me:“C’mon Sasuke. They are used to these pranks already. It’s gonna be fine.”
No, it won’t. It’s gonna be shit spilled everywhere.
As they said, Choji comes later with Shikamaru and Shino, each holding two boxes with paint-filled water balloons in their hands. Because it is the first day of school, the teachers gather us in the yard to give the usual boring “new school year speech.” After principal Sarutobi finishes and hands the microphone to Iruka-sensei one red balloon flies from the crowd of students and hits the school wall, painting it in bloody red. And then comes another one, and another one, and soon, before the teachers could even react in any way the school building looks like a toddler played with paint too much. And I stay there, in the middle of a mass of laughing students and the only thing I can do is laugh too because for some reason this seems like the time of my life…. Until Iruka-sensei notices Naruto’s paint dirty hands and calls all the boys from Rookie 9, including me, in the principal’s office.In the office principal Sarutobi and Iruka-sensei are judging us, while Naruto and Kiba snort here and there. Choji is near me trying to suppress his laugh crisis probably, judging by the noises, and Shikamaru and Shino just look bored. Suddenly, Morino-sensei smashes the door open and then smashes it again to close it. He comes before us and starts screaming, spitting Naruto in the face:“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, UZUMAKI?! DO WE LOOK LIKE FOOLS TO YOU? IS THIS YOUR PLAYGROUND???”Naruto just stays there with his head down, but I swear I can hear how he still snorts. When Morino stops the howling just to take a breath of air Iruka intervenes:“Naruto, really, this was the last drop. This is too much, even for you. Why did you do that?”Naruto answers giggling:“It was the school’s tradition sensei.”Iruka gives him an exasperated look:“That is something completely stupid that shouldn’t be done by any of you. That is something that other students made up and you can’t follow them.”“But sensei” Naruto adds “you keep up with your championship tradition, even if you know students hate it. Why wouldn’t we keep up this tradition, even if you hate it?”Kiba goes silent hearing that and I blink. Did he just confront Iruka-sensei directly, in the principal’s office with the respective principal in the office?Sarutobi-sensei, who is an old man with a beard that makes him look like a goat comes closer to Iruka and looks Naruto in the eye. I am pretty sure this will get him expelled:“So, this was a rebellion against the championship that we organize every year” he concludes.And Naruto nods vigorously:“Even if you know that this might get you expelled.”Naruto also nods, this time a little less energetic.“And you all were involved?” the principal asks scanning us.Naruto confesses:“All except Sasuke, sensei. He didn’t do anything.”And this is the moment when I am supposed to be happy that I am not involved in this and that I can go home as the perfect son I am. But instead, I feel like I betray that feeling that came to me in the school yard when paint filled water balloons were flying everywhere like cannon balls. So, instead of approving Naruto I can hear myself saying:“It’s not true, sensei. I’ve been involved too.”Naruto turns to me eyes bigger and all the boys are also staring:“This is not true. You just came this morning. You didn’t know, Sasuke” Naruto whines, but I look him in the eye hoping that he’ll get it:“Did you forget that I bought blue paint for this?”Naruto frowns and wants to open his mouth again, but then Sarutobi-sensei who followed our exchange says:“Very well, Sasuke was involved too, so Sasuke will be punished too.”He looks at Iruka and at Morino, then at us:“Detention, 2 hours after classes for the entire year. You are dismissed.”Naruto’s mouth falls wide open and I understand why. This is too easy, I swear. That mess of color won’t go away and 100% the entire school wall will need to be repainted in white. So this means money spent on something…let’s not talk about the entire neighbourhood which will notice that crazy wall. And still, we ended up just with 2 hours of detention. We are heading back to classes, when Naruto catches me by the hand:“What’s wrong with you? You should have told the truth. You were not involved in this.” He is taller, like me and he got a haircut this year and his eyes look bluer than usual. He still wears that horrible orange hoodie (which finally fits him) and his grip is stronger.“It’s not your business. Why are you concerned?” I mock him.“Asshole, because we are friends.”I give him an eye roll:“Wonderful, we are and now we’ll gonna spend an entire year in detention together. Happy?” I say, releasing myself from his grip and entering the room for our first class.Frankly, the problem is not Naruto, obviously. I am more concerned about meeting my father when I’ll go home because I am pretty sure by the time I’ll get there he’ll know about this. But I really want to see his face. If he forgot Itachi years ago he’ll forget me too.When I get home that evening is quiet in the house. My parents are in dad’s office and the door is closed, but I can hear their voices. And, to my surprise, they don’t scream as I expected. They seem concerned and the only thing I hear before the door opens is my dad’s worried voice saying something about “Namikaze INC” and I wonder why a company has Naruto’s dad last name.My mum notices me and gives me a warning look:“Come here, Sasuke. We need to talk to you.”I enter the office. Dad is on the coach and he fixes me with his eyes. He pats the seat near him and I am pretty sure he’ll disinherit me tonight. Mum sits on the chair near the coach and dad clears his throat:“Detention for the entire year, huh?”Honestly, I don’t know why I wanted to confront my dad like this because right now, staying near him, I can’t find the right words like Naruto did earlier today with Iruka-sensei.“Y-yeah” I mumble.He sighs and analyses me:“Sasuke, why would you take part in such a thing? What’s happening? Why are you spending time with those kids? They are…not like you.”I can see the way he refrained himself and didn’t call them imbeciles.“I wanted to do that” I say.My parents give me an amused look:“You wanted to throw water balloons filled with paint in the school building” dad states.I nod and he frowns:“Sasuke, one more thing like this and I’ll make you change schools. And if you’re grades get lower because of those brats you’re spending time with, I’ll forbid you to meet them. Now, go to your room.”I look at him dumbfounded. I expected more, like screams and “You are a shame for the Uchiha name” as I got in the past. But instead dad sits on the couch looking at me in a way that I can’t describe. I go upstairs and pass near Itachi’s room. The door is opened and he reads a book. He sees me and points towards the window. I close the door and we go to our spot on the roof. Itachi’s hair is even longer now and he got skinnier and somehow fitter this year:“So, detention for an entire year, huh?” he snorts blowing circles of smoke in the air.“Yeah…”“Water balloons filled with paint, nice one.”“It was Naruto’s idea” I confess.“I know” Itachi chuckles and I turn to him:“You know?”He nods:“I also know that you had nothing to do with it.”I narrow my eyes:“How the hell do you know that??”He ruffles my hair:“Naruto called and told me what happened today and asked specifically that I talk to my dad and tell him that you are an <<innocent bastard>>.”I look at him flabbergasted:“He called and said that.”“Yeah” Itachi says grinning “he is a funny guy.”I exhale loudly:“Idiot.”Itachi laughs:“He may be, but he cares about you.”I shrug:“How do you know? You haven’t met the guy.”Itachi watches the sky again as he did years ago. He is not here anymore, but his voice still answers me:“I just know.”So, just like that, I get away only with detention. Dad talked to me the next day and I smacked Naruto in the head for spilling the beans. He called me “ungrateful bastard” and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day, until I told him to wait for me when we walked back home. He stuck his tongue out, but waited anyway.The rest of the semester pass in a blink of an eye. Because we are in the last year we receive tones of homework and there is a lot of pressure thanks to the finals. I already know what highschool I’ll pick while the rest of our group waits to see their grades in the finals to decide. More, without Neji, who is already in highschool (same as my brother’s) I am the first again and my scholarship grows. I don’t need the money, but I still take them because dad said I deserve it. As long as I keep my grades high, dad doesn’t say anything about Rookie 9, although I spend time with those idiots everyday, sometimes even in weekends.The second semester finds us already tired and completely stressed out by the exams. Plus, we are kinda annoyed by the detention, but we get used to do our projects and homework in those two hours. And if things aren’t bad enough one day when I am going back home with Naruto I make appendicitis. After I feel like shit all day, on the way back home I just collapse on the street because of a cruel pain in the right side, then pass out. Naruto calls the ambulance and I wake up after two days, with the surgery already done. In the hospital room Naruto stays on a chair and my brother near him. They watch something on Youtube when I open my eyes. Naruto notices:“Ah, finally. Thought you were dead” he says grinning.“The fuck are you doing here?” I retort, voice completely rusty. I feel my mouth dry.He frowns:“I saved your life and you treat me like that. Asshole.”“M-my parents” I mumble and Itachi intervenes:“Don’t worry, Sasuke. Mum and dad were very glad to meet Naruto” he ruffles the blond’s hair “he’s a nice guy.”Naruto gives him a blinding smile and tells me, lips pursed as a girl:“You’re big bro is not an asshole like you are.”I give him an eye roll:“Fuck you.”“Sasuke, language” Itachi warns me “I’ll go pick mum and dad.”I swear I still think this doesn’t make sense. Imagine, mum, dad and Naruto in the same room. But the scene actually happens and dad doesn’t look at Naruto as he is the plague. He doesn’t address him directly, but still.Two weeks later I go back to school and get stressed by the exams again. It’s already freaking March and we finish in May, because the finals are at the beginning of June. So, just two more months, but it’s pure torture. Naruto describes everything as “The Third Fuckery” that this school would make and even if I still consider him an idiot sometimes he is damn right. It’s a nonsense. It’s just about waking up, going to school, classes over classes, shitty food at the cafeteria, more classes over classes, at the end of the day you end up with 1000 papers of homework and 2000 projects that need to be done until next week or, if you really want to be fucked up, next day.In middle April, when days are starting to look like summer and we’re suddenly feeling emotional because school will be soon over, Iruka-sensei and Morino-sensei are taking us to McDonald’s. Fortunately, they pick a restaurant closer to school and they don’t take us to the other side of the city again.Rookie 9 (minus Lee, Neji and Tenten) are back around the table. We give Morino side looks recalling the “20 menus for 13 people incident”.The silence kills us, we already see him ordering too much food again and this time we are not 12 anymore. Besides, I not allowed to eat damn fast-food after apendicitis, but I came anyway because Iruka-sensei asked me. Plus, the surgery still hurts sometimes, my dad brings me to school everyday and Naruto or somebody else carries the backpack for me because I am not allowed to lift heavy things. The only time I manage not to have someone following my every move is when I take the bus back home.“So, what do you guys want to order?” Iruka-sensei says, making all of us sight in relief. Rookie 9 order and I tell them I’ll eat the food I brought from home. After the food is ready we talk about the school years and plans for the future. Iruka gives advice here and there, his calm voice being a bless in comparison with Morino’s barking. We even talk about the championship and the prank and find out that Sarutobi-sensei decided to let that wall like that because he believes in “forms of rebellion as forms of artistic expression”. We all laugh because it was Naruto’s idea, but he definitely never thought about such a thing. We laugh and mock Naruto, then we laugh a bit more, even Iruka and Morino, and then the evening passes fast, too fast and we realise is already time to go.Because we are not far away from home, Naruto and me decide to walk as usual. We say goodbye to the rest of Rookie 9 and leave for the bus station. It’s 8 PM and Naruto says it smells like summer. I make fun of him and tell him he sounds like a poet and he should choose a philology highschool. He calls me asshole again and for some reason we just laugh. And then we hear footsteps behind us. At first it’s nothing, until a very familiar voice barks:“Well, well, it’s motherfucker Uzumaki and motherfucker Uchiha.”We both turn and see Kidomaru with Jirobo, along with two unknown twin guys. We haven’t seen “the mafia” since last year, when they were expelled for beating the crap out of a 5th grade kid who was playing football with his friends and threw the ball, by accident, in Kidomaru’s head.Naruto frowns and gives me a side glance, murmuring  a “goddamnit”. We try to go faster, but we hear their footsteps behind us:“Where are ya goin’ assholes? It’s payback time for the shit ya did to us”.We panic and start running, but they follow us. I want to tell Naruto to leave me behind because I can’t run faster thanks to that stupid surgery that I’m afraid it’ll burst, but he grabs my hand and pulls me after him. After a while we get to a neighbourhood with houses and decorative trees and bushes. He pushes me in one of them and hides near me. He says, out of breath:“Sasuke, call someone. I’ll lead them away.”I hiss at him:“Are you stupid? It’s 4 against one. They’ll beat the crap out of you. I’ll stay with you.”“The hell, Sasuke?! Do you want me to believe you’re ready for judo when you can’t carry your backpack?! Your surgery will burst.”“I don’t care” I spit.“I don’t care either, call someone” he says before jumping out of the bush and starting running, screaming as hard as he can:“Come on, motherfuckers, we’ll kick your asses!”I hear footsteps after him and the four imbeciles voices cursing and saying that is four against two and we’re dead. But it’s not four against two, it’s four against one!! and I really start to be afraid for Naruto’s life. These guys were expelled for a reason and even if Naruto is not 12 anymore, they are not 12 anymore either. With hands starting to shake I call Itachi:“Sasuke, what is going on? Where are you? It’s getting late.”“I-Itachi. They are after Naruto! Kidomaru and Jirobo and some other guys.”“What? Sasuke, calm down. Where are you?”“Near 15th street, that neighbourhood close to our school, the one with decorative bushes everywhere.”Itachi says something, but I can’t hear him because in the quiet of the night someone screams and I recognize Naruto’s voice.I jump out of the bush, not thinking of anything and run towards the sound. Another scream can be heard and I start freaking out:“NARUTO? WHERE ARE YOU? I CALLED THE POLICE!!” I lie then figure that maybe it’s better if I call the police.On a blind alley, near a shabby house I see a silhouette on the ground moaning and crying. I run there and it’s Naruto, with blood running from his nose. The others are nowhere to be seen. I fall in my knees near him:“Fuck! Naruto, are you okay??” I ask, hands shaking when I touch his shoulder.“M-my leg” he whines between sobs and I take a look at his legs. The right one is in an unnatural position and there is blood on his jeans and I figure it must be broken. Tears start falling on my cheeks and I take my phone out calling 911. I don’t know how I manage to tell the lady that answers what happened and where we are. She talks to me until I hear the sirens of ambulance and police closer and closer. After 10 minutes two police cars and one ambulance comes and take Naruto. The paramedics tell me his leg is broken and he has a comminuted fracture which means his tibia pierced through the skin. They take Naruto in the ambulance and while they are checking on me too, a black Volvo S40 arrives and my brother jumps out of it:“Sasuke!”One of the police agents asks him:“Who are you?”“I’m his brother” Itachi points at me “he called me saying that some guys are after his friend. I catched two of them” Itachi adds and the police man frowns:“You did what, young man?”“They are in the car” Itachi says before waving towards the car. The driver nods and gets out. It’s a tall guy, who seems older than Itachi with short black hair. The police agent comes near him and he points the backseat of his Volvo. The agent opens the door and talk to the people inside. I hear someone cursing, then the agent jolts and pulls both of them out of the car. It’s Kidomaru and one of the twins. They look like crap. Blood runs out of Kidomaru’s nose and the other guy has already a purple eye. They spit something and the driver points towards one of the electrical pols around. The paramedic that checks up on my surgery observes:“Your friend is lucky. There are surveillance cameras everywhere in this neighbourhood. Even near this blind alley.”He tells me that everything is fine with my surgery and I just have high blood pressure because of the shock.“Now, we’ll take your friend in the ER. Could you call his parents?”“I’ll do it” Itachi says and takes my hand “come on, we’ll follow the ambulance in Shisui’s car.”The police officer gets Kidomaru and the other guy in his car and leaves for the station. The ambulance leaves also and we follow it. I tell Itachi Naruto’s mum phone number and Itachi calls and tells her everything with his calm voice. I can hear Kushina panicking and starting to cry a bit and then Minato’s steady voice telling my brother that they’ll be at the hospital.Itachi closes the phone and hands it back to me. My hands are still shaking and I think I’m crying again. The driver looks in the mirror and probably sees the state I’m in. He wispers to Itachi:“Itachi..”My brother turns to me, leans in and starts wiping my tears off:“Come on, Sasuke. Don’t cry. He’s going to be fine. He is strong.”“This happened because he told me to hide, because of this stupid surgery. He was afraid it might burst” I whine, tears spilling on my cheeks.“Shhh” Itachi murmurs, leaning in even more “it’s going to be ok. They’ll catch the others too.”“I should’ve hit the fat one with the car” Shisui growls and Itachi turns to him:“That wouldn’t help. They’ll pay, don’t worry. And if they don’t, I’ll make sure they will.”I stop crying only when we get to the hospital. We wait on the hallways and the waiting is cruel. I can’t think of anything. A nurse comes and tells us Naruto got in surgery because his bone was not ok. His parents arrive just then and we tell them everything. Around 1 AM, after Naruto gets out of surgery Kushina tells us to go home because he is fine and we can come tomorrow. But, instead of going home we go to the police station for declarations. It seems that the other two guys, except Jirobo and Kidomaru aren’t minors.We end up back home around 5 am and I am exhausted and confused. Mum and dad are on a business trip and Itachi lets me sleep with him, after Shisui leaves.I wake up in the morning confused and with a headache. After breakfast we get dressed to go to the hospital to visit Naruto. I know I’ll have to tell what happened to school too. Itachi looks tired and angry for some reason. The phone calls, he answers. It’s quiet for a few moments. Then he falls in his knees and starts crying hard and the world stops.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Naruto’s POV

“THREE YEARS SINCE THE UCHIHA TRAGEDY. THE CULPRITS HAVEN’T BEEN FOUND YET”
I stare at the title of the article, not being able to make the lump in my chest go away. It’s like a hole of air is forming in my lungs, making breathing difficult. Then Sakura smacks my nape hard and I am 1 cm away of knocking down my laptop. Sakura growls:“Search for that year, for God’s sake! What are you looking at again?! I told you we need to finish this project by 4.”I turn to her, eyebrows frowned and voice feral:“I swear to God, Sakura-chan, one day you’re goin’ to cause me a fuckin’ brain damage with this smacking!”She gives me a bitchy eye roll and Shikamaru snorts:“Remind me, how the hell did we end up in the same highschool?”I glare at him and retort ironically:“Maybe you’re not as smart as people say.”Kiba starts laughing:“You sounded like a bitch right now, Naruto.”Sakura leans in:“What were you looking at?”She sees the title and suddenly her demeanour changes. Her teal eyes are now more gentle and she whispers:“Naruto, seriously, stop torturing yourself. He is gone. He didn’t want us to know.”I growl at her:“I don’t care. He was our friend. We deserve to know where he is.”Kiba exhales dramatically:“Oh, come’on!! The Sasuke thing again?! What is so hard to get? His parents were killed, he was from some freakin’ rich family and most probably a rich aunt took him and his brother. What else do you need to know??”I scowl at him and observe:“You are a motherfuckin’ heartless bastard.”Shikamaru intervenes:“Naruto, really now, what exactly do you want us to do? It’s been three years. You searched for him, you asked for his number, you heard Iruka-sensei. They didn’t want to be contacted anymore. End of story.”“If your parents were killed in a car crash and you’ll be left only with your 18 years old brother this is what you would want? Not to be contacted by any of your friends?” I retort.Sakura throws her hands in the air and gets up:“You know what?! I’m done. I don’t care if I fail this exam. I am out.”She takes her coat and rushes to the door of the cafeteria.“Goddamnit!!” I curse, banging my fist on the table. I go up and follow Sakura.She stays out of the cafeteria, watching the purple autumn sunset. I go near her:“Sakura, I’m sorry! Really, I am an ass. I kno’”She shakes her head pensively:“It’s not about that, Naruto. It’s just I know how much you thought about this in the last three years. And it’s..I don’t know” she runs her fingers through her pink fringe and goes on “it’s unfair for you to torture yourself like this…”She pauses again and I watch how the sky is getting darker and darker. The last three years were …weird I guess. When I woke up in the hospital after those two motherfuckers broke my leg my parents were looking awful. I thought it was because of me, and it was partly because of me, but then they told me Sasuke’s parents have been killed in a car crash and the culprits were no where to be found. For a 14 years old these things sound like a movie plot. You hear adults talking, you start feeling nauseous, but then you tell yourself it can’t be true. But it was. I stayed in hospital for 3 weeks, then I was allowed to go home, but I wore a cast for 5 more months.At first it was all over the news, Internet, papers, everywhere. You couldn’t open the PC without hearing about “the Uchiha Family tragedy”. And so I found out that Sasuke came from a very old and rich family and that one of the biggest corporation in our country belonged to his father. That explained a lot…in a way – Sasuke’s arrogance, his competitive spirit and the fact that his parents clearly hated a brat like me, who was poor, stupid and unrefined. But it didn’t explained the things that followed, which was Sasuke’s disappearance.I tried to call, to write him on Yahoo Messenger, I even went to his house once, but it was no one there. Empty. Everything was empty. Eventually, I went back to school and even Iruka-sensei told us that Sasuke and Itachi left for another school due to what happened. We asked for the address, but Iruka said no one has it and that the police asked the school to keep it secret, even if they find that out.So the school ended, we passed the finals, we went to prom, we got into highschool. Sasuke’s exam result have never been published online, as it was normal to. It was like he and his brother disappeared completely. Neji, who was in the same highschool as Itachi called us once and told us that Itachi disappeared too.So, you can put this like that: one day a person exists and then it’s gone. Try to explain that to a 14 years old….We are now 17 and we are one year away of finishing highschool too. Sakura, Ino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, Shino and me went to the same highschool and we are in the same class. Gaara, the guy who wanted to beat my ass in track years ago became our friend and classmate too. Lee, Neji, Hinata, Tenten and Gaara’s older brothers – Temari and Kankuro - were in a different highschool, but became a part of our group. In weekends or on Friday nights we would all spent time together.Because highschool was on the other side of the city I had to move from my parents house and live with Nagato, which is my mum’s second cousin or something and is 24. He works for a special division in the police that is so special I don’t even know what the hell the guy is doing, but whatever. My mum let me live with him since I was 14, so I guess he can be trusted. Not that he is bad in any way, just sometimes he talks like an old geezer. And he is too gloomy. Aaand he has two weird friends, Yahiko and Konan, who are dating and wear waaaay too many piercings. Yahiko has orange hair, light brown eyes and piercings in his ears from the base to the top. I swear if the guy had more than two ears he would have pierced them too. Konan is his girlfriend and she has purple hair, wears orange eyelenses (don’t ask me why) and has one piercing in the middle of her lower lip. She looks like a badass, but when she is with Nagato and Yahiko, they all make me feel weird cuz I have the feeling they are analysing me permanently.“Do you regret us?” Sakura asks suddenly, waking me up from my reverie. I need a couple of moments to realize what she means by that. We dated for a year and it ended, but I am not upset. I mean, I liked her since I was 12, but never admitted to myself and always imagined that she’ll end up with Sasuke because she was so crazy about him. But then, Sasuke left and she began to have eyes for other guys. And when we got to highschool we got closer and we decided it was better if we dated. Which was not a bad decision, but we are better like friends. I was into her, but she was not fully into me and I didn’t want to be an ass and keep her near me if she was unhappy. Besides I was an awful kisser..  Plus, my mum always says that we are young and free and we can still go back to a friendship after a relationship ends, but it gets harder and harder to do that with time. So, I listened to my mum, cuz she’s always right and went back to my friendship with Sakura.I shake my head:“I don’t. I told you already. Yes we dated, yes it didn’t work, but I don’t regret it.”She smiles:“Sometimes you’re more relatable than you show, you know that?”“Is this your way of telling me that I’m not that dumb as I seem?” I tease her and she smacks me again.“Let’s go and finish that damn project or I’ll kill ya.”“Yes, yes, Sakura-chan.”We go back in the restaurant and manage to finish the thing, which is a boring project in biology about Penicillin, but we need to do it otherwise our weird teacher, Orochimaru-sensei will fail us and I don’t really want to have to repeat that class again.The next day it’s Friday (God be blessed) and first class is damn biology. I wake up late and end up entering the class 5 minutes after the bell. Sakura is throwing daggers at me and Orochimaru-sensei, which is a skinny gay guy with very long hair and amber brown eyes slurs:“Ah, Naruto-kun, you’re late so you’ll dissect today.”He smiles at me and I can swear this guy smokes 50 packs of cigarettes per day, otherwise his voice wouldn’t sound like that. The hair on my nape stands up:“I..I wh..what?”“Dissect, you’ll dissect today” he repeats and I feel my stomach suddenly trembling in nausea:“But sensei, I came only 5 minutes later.”He chuckles weirdly and adds:“Naruto-kun, you’ll dissect today or I’ll fail you.”I moan, but I kno’ I’m not gettin’ away with this, so I go near his lab desk and ask:“What am I…dissing today?” I joke and Kiba snorts from behind the lab.“DISSECTING, Naruto-kun. A frog. Don’t worry he died due to an illness and the zoo donated it for scientific purposes.”“Yay, God bless the zoo” I spit and Kiba starts laughing again.“Kiba-kun” Orochimaru-sensei’s voice echoes in the lab “please join Naruto. I know you are a team, it’ll be a pity not to keep you together.”Kiba fixes him and when he realizes he is not joking he mutters a “Fuck my life” and joins me.I don’t want to describe how the thing went cuz the only thought I had in my mind was not to throw up. But, at least he gave us the maximum score for the project plus 2 points cuz we “cut with precision”. Mother of Jesus…now it’s lunch break but I can’t enjoy my ramen cuz I “cut with precision” a motherfuckin’ frog.“Why aren’t you eating?” Shikamaru asks.“Can you eat after biology?” I growl at him.“You were an ass, this is why he made you to that” Sakura observes, sipping her tea.“Remind me, whose side are you on?” I frown at her.“No one’s, I am just fair. You were late, you have to assume the consequences.”“You sound like my mum” Kiba sins-songs and cuz he is at her right he receives a smack in the head and he spills his coke.“Jesus, Sakura” he barks at her, then closes his mouth shut when one of the veins on her forehead starts to pulse.“Ahhhh, Haruno, Inuzuka and Uzumaki antics, what a life” Shikamaru observes and me, Kiba and Sakura are showing him the middle finger.“Why am I getting the middle finger?” he raises his eyebrows ironically.“Because they want so” Shino declares with a very serious face and we start laughing.After lunch is PE. Because it’s still warm outside, even if October is already gone, the teacher, Genma-sensei, a slouchy guy that always has a toothpick in his mouth tells us to do some laps. He is nothing like Hitler and for some creepy reason it makes me miss Morino. Like really, sometimes when I am running and I’m getting slow I expect him to show up and spit on me “Uzumaki, my great grandmother runs faster than you”. I start running and Gaara comes near me:“Up for a competition?” he grins.“Are you tortured by memories?” I mock him and he shrugs, his teal eyes narrowing a bit. Because of that burgundy kohl that he still wears he looks like motherfuckin’ Dracula:“Maybe. Are you up for it or not?”“Jesus, fine. You’ll have to drink holy water if I win” I say, pointing at his eyeliner.He starts laughing and goes faster. I follow him and manage to surpass him by the third lap. At the end of class we are sweaty and gross and he puffs:“I don’t know how the hell you manage to beat me every time.”I grin proudly and run my fingers through my hair:“Because I am the best, that’s why”.He snorts and we go to the lockers to change. Three more classes and the day it’s over.  We wait for each other at the end of the classes to go to a McDonald’s. At least Hitler brought a tradition in our group beside the collective sweating…We are in that restaurant where Hitler brought us the first time and each time we come here one of us starts imitating him. This time it’s Kiba – he sits up and starts barking:“NOW, WE’LL ORDER A TONE OF SHIT, SOLDIERS!! GET READY TO EAT LIKE IT’S FUCKIN’ WORLD’S END!!” The entire fast food stares at us, but we can’t help but laugh hysterically at Kiba’s antics. Then he becomes “serious” again and asks each of us what we want to order. Gaara sits at my right and Sakura on the left. Hinata, Lee, Neji and Gaara’s siblings arrive a bit later, but they join us anyway. Kankuro points in my way:“Look at Uzumaki and my bro, everyday they are getting closer.”Shikamaru snorts:“Is this your way of bringing back again that gay joke? Because if it is, it’s out of date already.”“No shit, smart ass” Kankuro grins at him, but we all know they are joking. And besides, Shikamaru likes Gaara’s sister, Temari and if they get together it’ll be a hell of a ride. That girl is the blonde version of Sakura – cute, but violent.When food comes Lee starts rambling about the finals in highschool. Even if it’s pretty early they already have to think of university.“So, where are you going?” Shikamaru asks them.Lee exhales loudly:“I am thinking of PE. It’s the only thing I am good at.”“So, like, you’ll become a PE teacher, like Hitler? You’ll start spitting on us and ordering way too much food?” Kiba observes ironically.Lee pouts and seems embarrassed and Neji comments:“Why don’t you tell us what university you’ll pick, big mouth?”Kiba leans over the table and purses his lips:“Triggered, Hyuuga?”Neji raises one eyebrow and shakes his head:“I swear you’re a bigger idiot than Naruto.”Everybody snorts and I retort:“Of course he is, haven’t you figured out by now that I am smart?”“In what dimension?” Shikamaru hisses and we start laughing again.Frankly, I don’t know what university to choose. I haven’t thought about that. I haven’t even thought about what I would like to do for the rest of my life. Mum says I still have time, but when I see that all my friends have already an idea about what they want to do I kinda freak out.Kiba starts rambling about how he’ll become a police officer and we make fun of him for the rest of the night.It’s past 10 when we head home. Gaara and his siblings live somewhere close to my apartment, so ever ytime we hang out we go home together.“Yo, Naruto” Kankuro says “I read something about Sasuke today. They didn’t find the culprits.”The lump in my chest is back again, although I can’t explain why. I shrug:“I read that too.”“You haven’t heard of him, isn’t it?” Gaara says, voice calm and steady.“No, nothing…well, I guess he is on a beach with some hot girls. He was rich” I joke, but my voice sounds heartless. Temari and Kankuro laugh and only Gaara has this weird expression on his face that says I couldn’t fool him.When I get home Nagato, Konan and Yahiko are fighting over the last slice of pizza, but when Konan sees me she declares that I’ll should have it, making her boyfriend pout and Nagato sigh dramatically:“You just have a weak spot for this guy”.I grin and retort:“Jelous much? But I’m not gonna eat it. I’ve been to McDonald’s.”“Noooo, I trusted you!” Konan says, pointing at me, then slapping her own face “now we’ll fight again for another two hours.”“What if he picks the winner?” Yahiko says, his many piercings glistening in the light of the living room.“Fine” Nagato agrees and I feel like it’s a trap. The one that I’ll pick will love me forever, but the others two will hate me. I know these guys for 3 years almost. They hold grudges, like they didn’t forget that when I met them I told mum I don’t want to stay with “these freaks”. They still remind me of that when they are paying the bills “Hey, Naruto, the freaks just paid your internet bill so you can watch porn every day”… And I don’t watch porn (anymore), thank you very much..“Uhmmm” I scratch my nape “I don’t think I want to choose. You’ll give me a hard time after this.”Konan grins, her orange lenses looking creepy in that light:“Then you’d better choose wise.”And then it hits me:“Hey, what if you share the last slice and you all do something for me as a penalty?”“Why we’d do something for you?” Yahiko mocks me.“Because the ones that wouldn’t have eaten the motherfukin’ pizza would have tortured me for the rest of my pitiful life. I deserve something for this huge risk that I was ready to assume” I say, voice sarcastic.They look at each other amused and agree:“Deal” they say.We cut the slice in three, they eat it and then Konan asks:“So, what do you want cutie?”I inhale, I know most probably they aren’t going to do this for me, but since I saw that article about Sasuke I kept thinking about him again. And there is always, always this gut that I have every time I think of him that there is something more behind that story:“You guys work in some sort of secret division in the police, right?”Nagato’s blue eyes narrow and Yahiko seems to panic a bit:“Yeah, so?”“I was thinking, can you find out what happened to..a friend of mine?”“Sasuke” Nagato declares, voice cold.“Yes?” I smile innocently.He shakes his head:“That can’t be done, kid.”I growl exasperated and get up:“Yeah, right. Forget that I asked.”It’s not the first time I just want to ask about Sasuke. I don’t want details, I just want a little thing that could explain what happened to him and give my 14 years old self some peace.Konan catches my hand:“Come on, Naruto. Sit down”.I turn to her and her eyes have a gentle spark in them, despite the lenses. This is why I agreed in the end to stay with them. They might be very weird at times, but they’re always warm people, just like mum and dad, even if they work as spies or something.Nagato glares at her and she growls at him:“Don’t give me that freakin’ look. You can’t force me to listen to you.”He tsches her and then looks at me, his feral voice making the strands of hair from my nape to stand up:“If this gets out of this room, you’re dead and I am serious.”I gulp and nod. Konan starts to speak, voice steady:“We don’t work for that team that investigated The Uchiha incident. The division we are in it’s one that finds information, about everything. Even the most secret one. But” and she runs her fingers through Yahiko’s bangs who nudged her knee “but we do know that Sasuke’s parents death was not an accident. They told that to the media, because they come from a very important Japanese family and privacy it’s like law for them. But, we do know that his parents were killed and he moved out because someone from the family was afraid that the killers will come after Sasuke and his brother.”I swallow again, trying to make that annoying lump go away:“Who inherited the company? Itachi was 18 at that time, he could’ve done that.”Nagato clears his throat:“Indeed, Itachi was supposed to inherit it after his dad died, but, somehow it didn’t happen. The company was taken by someone named Madara Uchiha.”He grimaces when he says that.“It’s still in the family, though” Yahiko observes.I look at each of them, trying to let these things settle in my mind.“Naruto” Nagato warns me “you can’t tell anyone about this, do you understand? These things might put your life in danger.”I fix him, he is not joking. His eyes are extremely cold and I can see why he works in the secret services.“Can I ask you one more thing?”I know I force their hand with this, but this thing also bothered me since I moved in this city.Konan giggles:“If we are here, I think we can answer one more question, right Nagato?” she says, patting him on the shoulder. He gives her a death stare and she answers with a sassy eye roll:“Oh, come on. Drop that bitch face away. He’s 17 and he is Minato and Kushina’s son. He’s not some dumb guy who won’t be able to figure things out.”I’m proud if she thinks I’m not dumb cuz I’m mum and dad’s son, but sometimes I am…dumb I mean.Nagato scowls at her and spits:“Ask, Naruto.”I watch him in the eye when I ask:“Are you guys here to protect me?”They all seem surprised by the question and Konan snorts:“I told you.”Nagato observes:“Your parents told you why you moved when you were 12?”“Dad lost his company in Japan and he thought it was better to leave that life behind. They lost everything and we moved here and I couldn’t tell anyone that we had money and we are also from a rich family,  just like Sasuke.”Nagato nods:“Yeah, what you don’t know it’s that your dad’s company was taken away from him. He thought some people did something illegal to take away the family business. This is why he left. And now, they managed to build a new life, but he is still afraid. Because Kushina had my parents in the police here they asked us to take care of you.”I suddenly feel tired and nod. That explains a lot. When I was 12 I couldn’t get why my dad came home one day and told my mum we had to take all the essential stuff and leave everything behind. In two days we packed and we were in a plane, abandoning a life that was more than convenient: private school for me, private box classes, driver, everything that I wanted. They told me that something bad happened and dad lost his company in Japan and we need to leave. The good thing was that somehow my parents managed to find a house in the city and jobs and a school for me. The jobs were horrible indeed: my mum had been a waitress in a miserable restaurant for three years and my dad a mechanic, but nevertheless, they kept me in school and I found friends.Now, about the family. Dad is Japanese-American, mum also. Dad grew up in Chicago, but when he was 17 his grand dad asked his parents to send him to Tokyo, so he can go to a private school and later inherit the company they had there. His parents accepted and dad soon found himself in a totally different world than the one in America. He had to learn Japanese and to become the CEO of a Japanese company, which was a pain in the ass. But, two years after, he met my mum, who was also a Japanese-American like him and came in holiday to Tokyo. They fell in love and dad started to think Japan was not as bad as it seemed. He inherited the company and soon they had me.As I said, I attended a private school in Japan where we learned most of the things in English, but had to go to Japanese language classes for 6 hours per week. I sucked at it and hated it 80% of the time. The only good thing about that was that I could read “Shingeki no Kyojin” with the little Japanese I was able to learn.When we came to America it was thanks to my mum’s relatives -  Nagato’s parents - who lived two hours away from the city we moved in. And that’s how my parents managed to find jobs and start anew. But from time to time, during the years I saw them whispering stuff here and there and now I know why.I go to my room and open the computer. Let me tell you something, I am not a religious person, but there is a saint I appreciate since I was able to have an internet connection on my laptop, it’s called Saint Google. If you pray to him and do one simple thing – which is typing the thing you need – he’s gonna give ya answers. Now, please don’t make the stupid mistake to write the things Google tells you on a school project without checking them in the library first. I did this more than once and I ended up in detention every time. So, Google can be wrong at times, but in some cases he becomes your best friend.I type “Madara Uchiha” on the search tab and press Enter. As results I get the usual Wikipedia Page and then a lot of interviews from Business Magazines. I click on one of them - “Madara Uchiha, the new CEO of Konoha INC and the secret of success”- and the article shows up with the picture of an Asian guy, with the longest hair I’ve ever seen and a look scarier than Morino’s. And trust me, such a thing rarely exists.He just blabs about business and stuff and I end up thinking that he is just a smug asshole. His Wikipedia Page is longer than a novel and I am not in the mood of reading every shit this guy did since he was a kid. Just one thing catches my attention – at the section where it’s presented his early business career there it’s a picture with him and another Asian guy with long hair (what’s up with these guys?!) that I’ve seen before. In the photo they look much younger (probably he is 60 or something now) but I recognize the other guy. It’s ol’man Hashirama Senju who it’s a distant relative of the Uzumaki family. He married Mito Uzumaki who was the sister of my mum’s grandmother. Apparently, he and this Madara guy where the founders of Konoha INC. I stare at the picture..well, that’s something new.

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I honestly don’t know how 11th grade passed. Like one day it was the beginning of the school year and then suddenly it was the end of it. Fortunately, I didn’t fail any class. Mother of Jesus be blessed.I am sitting now in my parents’ kitchen, trying to avoid Kurama’s tongue who wants to lick my toes. It’s a failed mission, mostly because he grew up and he moves faster.Mum is wearing a flowy summer dress, pale pink with sparkly butterflies all over. She checks if the ramen is ready, because yeah, it’s freaking July and the sun burns, but this doesn’t mean you can’t eat a sexy bowl of spicy ramen.“I think it’s ready, dear” she says after tasting the soup.I grin at her and Kurama starts barking under the table. There is someone knocking at the door and I hear dad’s steps rushing to open it. Kiba’s voice barks:“Hi, mister Minato. We came to Naruto.”“We?” I whisper to my mum and she chuckles:“You didn’t expect them?”I scratch my nape:“No, I would’ve told ya if my friends gonna come here.”Dad and Kiba start talking about something and all the way from the front door to the kitchen you can hear a bunch of mixed voices, girls and boys and Kurama’s excited barking. This is the definition of chaos. They enter the kitchen room and I grimace because almost all Rookie 9 are here and our kitchen it’s too small for this flock.“What are you guys doing here?”Kiba, Shikamaru, Sakura, Lee and Ino all grin at me in unison. Mum’s giggling.“So” Kiba starts “we thought we should go to the beach and take our parents with us too”.I raise my eyebrows and dad observes:“We’ll need a damn bus to have space for all of us.”“Yeah, how the hell are we going to fit..I don’ kno’…more than 20 people in a car?” I snicker.Shikamaru steps forward and declares proudly:“My dad rented a bus for us. 30 seats”.A choir of “waaaaaaa” booms in the kitchen and I start grinning at Kiba.“So, what do you think miss Uzumaki?” Sakura asks.Mum moves her eyes between dad and me, then speaks:“You plan to stay the entire weekend?”“Just Saturday” the flock answers.“Can we take our dog with us?”Kiba nods:“Yeah, we’ll take ours too.”There is a pause that my parents make to create the suspense I guess or to annoy Kiba, who already started fumbling with his shorts pockets. After another 2 seconds he whimpers as a child:“Come’on mister Minato…the silence it’s painful.”Dad smiles mischievously and ruffles his hair, image that reminds me how short Kiba use to be when dad was doing that years ago and how tall he is now:“We’ll come with you kiddo, but tell us how can we help your parents with the preparations.”The flock is now ecstatic and Shikamaru comments:“So, three, oh sorry” and he pats Kurama’s head “four more people. I’ll tell my dad.”“How many people will be, actually?” mum asks.Shikamaru starts counting:“Me, mum, dad, Ino with her mum (her dad works), Kiba with his parents, dog and sister, Sakura with her parents, Lee and his dad, Neji, Hinata and Hinata’s mum, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro and their mum, Choji and his dad…uhmmm, oh!, Shino is ill and he can’t come. So…26 people and 2 dogs.”“Mother of Jesus” I laugh “there’s not going to be enough space on the beach for us.”Kiba shrugs:“I don’t care. We’ll shove them aside and show them how we have fun.”We all laugh and then my parents discuss the details with Shikamaru while the rest of us are going in our small back yard to play with Kurama. I laugh with them thinking that this summer will be amazing and trying to push aside the feeling that something is missing. The next morning is too early for me when dad urges me to wake up because it’s weekend and we want to avoid the crowd on the highway. The trip to the beach it’s probably gonna take us three or four hours so I just pray I’ll be able to sleep a little, otherwise my brain won’t be able to function with just 4 hours of sleep. I manage to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, get dressed and take my backpack when we hear a horn outside that’s making Kurama go berserk and probably it’s waking up the entire neighbourhood.“Ok, did we take everything?” mum asks impatiently.“Yeah, mum, if we won’t have place in that big bus it’s because of all the food you cooked” I observe. Like literally, she cooked way too much and I am pretty sure the other mums have cooked too, cuz mums are always like that.We go out and a small yellow Toyota bus is waiting for us. Shikamaru’s dad is grinning from the driver’s seat and Kiba comes to the front door, opens it and screams:“Beeeeeaccch partaaaaay!!”My parents start laughing and Kiba’s sister, Hana, grabs him by the shoulders and shoves him back in the bus. We go in after dad puts our backpacks in the trunk and the entire group greets us. Mum and dad have two places kept in the front and I look around to see where I can sit. All the front seats are taken by the parents in this order: on driver’s side – Kiba’s parents, then mine, Ino’s mum and Choji’s dad. On the other side- Sakura’s parents, Hinata’s and Gaara’s mum, Lee’s dad and Shikamaru’s mum. Obviously, we took the places from the back of the bus: on the driver’s side Ino and Sakura sit together, followed by Temari and Shikamaru, Kiba and Hana and on the 4 seats behind Kankuro is already sleeping near Kiba’s dog, Akamaru. Kurama sees him and goes straight there, finding that weird position that makes dogs look like a pretzel and probably falling asleep. On the other side Choji is sitting near Lee, then the Hyuuga cousins took the next pair of seats and then Gaara kept a place for me. When I pass near Shikamaru’s seat I wink at him, not being subtle at all and Temari snarls at me:“Don’t make me kill’ya, Uzumaki.”I throw my hands in the air in defense and sit near Gaara. He’s not wearing that damn eyeliner anymore and he looks…well, you could expect me to say he looks in all the ways possible, but without that thing he looks soooo damn young. I mock him while I sit down:“You look human like this.”He nudges my knee:“Shut up..my mum forbid me to wear that thing at the beach.”I chuckle:“Of course she forbade you. Where you afraid you’ll get tanned around your eyes or something?”He punches me in the ribs and I punch him back, but then Neji turns around and growl at us:“What are you? 5? I want to sleep.”“Uhhh, Hyuuga is grumpy in the morning” I declare and he sits down, but he raises one hand and shows me the middle finger.For the next hour and a half we fall asleep and it’s quiet in the bus, but then, slowly but surely the sun claims the sky. Around 7.30 Shikamaru’s dad makes the second stop to a gas station and we take over the bathroom, which makes the cashier frown and look at us in disgust. When we go back to the bus everyone is fully awake and chattering. At a certain point someone suggest we should listen to some music and Kiba goes in front of the bus. He clears his throat and begins, face all a proud grin:“So, because today it’s a very important day cuz we managed to get our asses out of the bed” at this his mum hisses at him “ I” and his grin is bigger now “prepared a playlist for you and it’s made of all the hits that turned our last years in freaking MTV Music Awards. So, you better enjoy it” and I am pretty sure he wants to finish this with “motherfuckers” but he probably remembered our parents are here too. Mine wouldn’t have had a problem with the language, cuz mum sometimes curses more than a barbarian, but Hinata’s mum for example or Shikamaru’s mum would kill their kids for a curse.Kiba shoves the CD in the CD player and hits play and soon the boxes are filled with Avril Lavigne’s “Here’s to never growing up” which was our favourite song at school’s prom, so the entire group starts clapping and singing out loud.Kiba starts dancing when he goes back to his seat and we crack up and sing in the same time.At “Say, won't you say forever stay/If you stay forever hey/We can stay forever young” we let only the girls sing, but then when the chorus comes in the boys sing too. I’m not sure what our parents think about this or how this may look for others, but along the years we’ve been a pretty nice group. Me and Kiba got closer in school cuz we were both idiots, but then we found out we had things in common too. Shikamaru and Choji just went with the flow and then the girls just figured out they felt better with us then with the “cool kids in school”. And then came the “Interschools Fuckery” that changed everything and really turned us from colleagues or acquaintances into friends. And then, the thing with my leg and Sasuke happened and we went to highschool and Gaara and his siblings just fitted in our group. I guess our parents figured out it was better to let us be like this  than get into troubles or drugs or some other stuff. We were and we still are a pretty coloured group.The first song ends and a mix that is pretty familiar to me starts and I recognize my favourite band back when I was in Japan, “Dish”. It’s the only band I used to listen to and last year they came up with a song that I love and I just start singing, even if it’s Japanese and only me and probably dad and mum still understand the words. Kiba leans over Hana in his seat and tells me:“You owe me for this one, Uzumaki!!”.I grin at him and scream the chorus:“Seriously, give us a break from all those pretty words/Bring out the strong guy/We are sick of these ordinary days/We'll burn the mic with our rock/
I can hear your voice/(wowowowowowowo)/That's the only thing real. Let this song/
burst out/I can hear you are screaming/I can hear you are screaming/Driven my impulse, I ran through the night/can't you see?/can't you see?/can't you see?/my face/I just want to feel this moment greater than words, I want to feel you”.The girls look at me dumbfounded and Sakura screams over the song:“He went into fan boy mode!! It’s unstoppable!!” and we all start laughing hysterically. I clap vigorously after the end and then another jam comes in – The Script “Hall of Fame” and we scream again. Then for the sake of the girls Kiba put on that playlist Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop” and they all shriek on that. After this rather painful experience for our ears “Story Of My Life” by One Direction starts playing and although we love the lyrics we can’t stop mocking the singers by going in the middle of the bus and playing “cool Zayn/Harry/whatever their names are.”And theeen, the playlist ends perfectly with BoB’s “Airplanes” and Fall Out Boy’s “Alone Together.” The last one it’s like the anthem of Rookie 9 in the last years and we just scream our lungs out on that song. And I am pretty sure mum and dad are jamming on this too because they love the band and I caught them singing like crazy on this once, when they thought I’ll arrive home later.When we get to the beach we need to make two or three tours around the parking lot to find a place for our bus. When we finally manage to find it we take everything from the trunk and head to the beach.The sun is already burning, but we are lucky cuz for some reason the place is not as crowded as we thought it’d be. We find a spot not too far, but not too close to the water and settle. Everyone brings up towels, sunscreen lotions and a lot of food that our mothers cooked. I’m tellin’ ya we make so much chaos on that beach that I catch a glimpse of some people staring and mumbling about us. After half an hour of chatter the entire place already know we are the most obnoxious group ever. But I don’t care because it smells like sea and summer and freedom and highschool, homeworks or future plans are so far away now.The girls wear bikinis and the boys shorts and maaan, if I wouldn’t have grown up with this people I would totally stare at their bodies, cuz they look good. I mean we all kinda go to the gym or work out a lot since that Fuckery in school. Sakura still takes judo lessons, Shikamaru, Kiba and Kankuro work out every week, Gaara runs and I found a chance to get back into box lessons once or twice a month. The rest of the time I just run and walk a lot, avoiding smelly buses and super crowded subways.The girls go to swim and Kiba goes to buy an ice cream. When he returns he comes from behind and smudges the damn ice cream on my face and neck. There is this moment of complete silence, then everyone starts barking laughs hysterically and I scream, pointing at him and trying in the same time to wipe off a big chunk of chocolate thing off my face:“YOU! YOU ARE SOOOO DEAD, KIBA!”He starts running and laughing and I chase him and if he thinks he can get away with this he’s a bigger idiot than I thought. The dogs start running after us and I catch him at a certain point and pull him in the water. We play in the sea for a while, then the others join us and I frankly don’t know exactly how the day passes in the sun with food, lots of coke, ice cream and three totally failed volleyball games. At 7.30 Shikamaru’s dad decides it would be better to go back home, cuz it’ll take a while. On the way back it’s quiet in the bus and instead of the booming music from the morning you can hear a choir of snores. I want soo much to sleep, but for some reason the sun and all the fun made me even more agitated. I turn to the window watching how the world passes by.“Do you have ADHD or something?” Sasuke’s low snarky voice comes into my mind. I wonder where is he now. Is he happy? Has he found better friends than us? Sakura always scolds me for thinking about him so often and letting this strange sadness overcome my mind, but I simply…I simply thought he was my best friend. He had indeed a horrible personality as a kid and his ego was bigger than the Everest, but I’ve never seen only this in him. He wasn’t just that, cuz if you had patience with him he would turn into a very good guy. Besides, mum always told me that people are not what they seem and that some people are indeed assholes and some are just pretending to be. I think he pretended most of the time. I don’t know the reason and now it’s too late to find it, cuz it wouldn’t help me with anything, but still. There must have been a reason. As there must have been a reason for his parents death. As there must be a reason why my parents lost the company years ago.When sleep finally catches me it’s full of weird dreams with me and Sasuke and the others and I wake up when mum is gently shaking me telling me we are home. We greet the others, although everyone is dizzy with sleep and we go back into our small house.Mum’s warm eyes are scanning my face until she asks:“What’s wrong, dear?”I smile faintly at her and answer:“Nothing. I’m just tired I guess.”She tilts her head a bit and declares:“You’ve always been a bad liar, just like your dad,”At this dad snorts and sits on our old indigo sofa, patting the space near him:“Com’ere, big guy. Tell us, what’s going on? Summer melancholy?”I sit near him and mum comes on my left. We used to watch movies in this exact same position. Actually, I always forced my parents to let me stay between them and watch movies, even if sometimes I knew dad simply wanted to hold mum’s hand, but with an agitated brat between them all the romanticism in the house went to hell.I shrug:“Not exactly. I…” I hesitate. I know how much my parents worked to keep me in school after we left. I remember how often mum came home smelling like tabacco and shit from the restaurants she worked in and how worried dad was for her, despite the fact that he was smelling like oil car and gasoline all the time. If I ask them why they lost the company, why would it matter? If I tell them that I can’t let Sasuke go, even if he let us go years ago why would it matter? And besides, Nagato already told me the answer months ago.If I found out about some crazy story, so what? Mum thinks next year she can open a small ramen shop and dad took over the car service workshop he worked in cuz the owner died and liked dad very much and had no kids or family. All their work in the last five years is paid. Why would it matter why? Like I can’t understand why I need to know and it pisses me off, but I still need to know so I ask anyway.“Why did you lost the company? Dad, really, it’s not like I don’t appreciate what you guys did for me in the last years, but…I just want to know. What happened back then in Japan…”Mum and dad exchange a look full of secrets that I’ll probably never find out and dad begins, voice calm and steady:“Well, I used to have a partner at the office, Obito. He was a bit younger than me, but very talented in business. He just graduated and had big dreams and a mind full of ideas. For some reason that I don’t know he managed to convince the other shareholders to take me out. So, I admitted my defeat, packed my things and left.”I frown:“So, he betrayed you.”Mum intervenes:“Oh, dear. I don’t think it was about betrayal. It was just business. And” she runs her fingers through my hair “we don’t resent him, Naruto, nor the past. We are here, we are alive, we are happy. You made friends, you went to school. We worked and we managed to overcome those obstacles. And we are together and this is all that matters, ok?”I nod and sigh. Dad declares:“So, beside this it’s another question in your mind.”I give him a lopsided smile:“It’s not exactly a question…or maybe it is…I don’t kno’”Mum punches me easily in the ribs:“Girl problems?”“Muuuuum” I moan “nooo”.Dad laughs:“Then?”“Sasuke” I just state “I still think about Sasuke.”They look at each other and dad speaks again:“He was your friend, you miss him and that’s natural.”“Yeah, but Sakura says I think about him too much. That I should move over.”Mum grabs all her red chilli hair into a pony tail and after everything is neat and clean she declares:“You still think about him because he mattered to you and you considered him your best friend. And he was a good kid and it changed you a bit. You were more calm near him and you learnt things from him as much as he learnt  things from you. To you he was important and what happened with him and his family it’s very sad. I don’t think it’s so bad that you can’t move over, yet.”“But” dad continues her speech “you can’t stay too much blocked in the past. I say you should think about the future and about the friends you have now. You’ve seen them today, they are people that also care about you. Kiba and Sakura and Gaara, especially. They want to see you happy and this is the time for you to be happy. So, don’t let the past spread like a shadow over what you have know. Think that one day you and Sasuke may meet again and you want to show him you did good, right? Isn’t your dream to become someone important?”I smile:“It is.”“Then do it!” dad says patting my shoulder. I just lean in and hug him and kiss my mum on the cheek. I stand up to go to my room and they get closer on the sofa:“Thanks, guys. I love ya” I say, feeling shy a bit.They chuckle in unison and answer:“We love you too, dear. Now go to sleep and please, take Kurama too.”Kurama is on the floor, snorting like an old man, oblivious at our discussion. He’s big and I know he’s not gonna wake up, so I just carry him in my room, feeling sad and happy in the same time, because I still have my parents and I am so damn grateful for that, but somewhere in this world Sasuke is alone because he already lost his. The rest of the summer passes in a blink of an eye. Mum goes between all sorts of places to figure out what she’s gonna need for opening her ramen restaurant (plus work) and dad is all day long covered in oil and some other oily stuff you use for cars. I am stuck between Kurama, petting Kurama, playing with him, running with him and doing almost exactly the same things with Kiba and Gaara. They are the only ones who don’t leave the city until summer ends, while the others are spending the hot days between grandparents, the sea and other trips. Well, I guess it is a summer like all the others and in the same time it’s special cuz it’s the last summer before highschool’s end. So at a certain point it starts to feel like a goodbye that you have to say or I don’t know…express in a way because you know it’ll never come back again. Like by this time next year I’ll pass probably my university admission exams and I’ll be that person who already figured out what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Don’t ask me how I’m gonna figure this out, cuz I have nooo idea.In the last week of summer vacation we need to go to highschool and pick up our optional classes and I just stare at the table with all the..well options and I don’t know what to choose. The easiest way would be to choose PE, but with PE as an optional I’ll probably look like a loser. I read again the list and figure our old school principal, ol’man Sarutobi teaches “Business Ethics” in highschool too. Let me tell ya somethin’, ol’man Sarutobi was one of those teachers in school that I liked cuz from some reason he talked like and old geezer, but he was an old geezer who had a point. Plus, the fact that he let the school smudged in those crappy colours after our prank was a fact that stuck in my mind months after I left. Like for some reason, from all the teachers in that school he was the only one who understood why we did that and why was so funny for us. I read the name of the course again “Bu-si-ness E-thics”. Sounds bad and hard, but it’ll look good in my file. Probably it’ll be the only thing that looks good in my highschool record along with the bonus for dissecting a frog…I turn to Kiba – he is in the same situation as me, staring at the paper and thinking which one is the last shitty optional course he could pick. I scratch my nape nervously, beside PE and ol’man Sarutobi’s course all the others will bring me a “failed” written in red in my record and it’ll make my university admission even worse…Goddamnit! I just inhale and write my name in the space near “Business Ethics”. Mother of Jesus may help me.We hand the papers to the teacher in charge and wait. Kiba whispers:“Yo, Uzumaki, see ya in PE?”I grimace and shake my head:“No, I picked “Business Ethics”.He blinks and after a moment his voice raises an octave:“WHAT?!” I just shrug. The teacher comes back and says:“Business Ethics – room 9, PE- room 10, Organic Chemistry-room 11, Literature in Post Modern Times – room 12, Plot, script, filming – room 13, Architecture and Design –room 14, IT – room 14. You’ll go to the rooms you signed up for. You’ll meet the teachers.”I get up and head to room 9, hoping that I’m not the only one who picked up this class. I look behind me, but none of my friends follow, so I guess I am the only one. Geez..I enter the room and Sarutobi-sensei stays at his desk, glasses on nose and a newspaper opened wide. He looks the same as I remember and his eyes have the same calm and wise look in them. He fixes me and I grin:“Do you remember me, Sarutobi-sensei?”He narrows his eyes then smiles:“Aaaah, Naruto! Glad to see you again.”“Glad to see you too, sensei.”I sit in the first desk. He looks to the door and observes:“Looks like it’ll be just the two of us this semester.”I swallow audibly:“Y-yeah…”“So, why Business Ethics?” he asks, his eyes glimmering behind his glasses.I know I am fucked, because I have no particular reason, except it was the least shitty optional course that sounded different than a “failed” in my head. Then, I think a little bit more, cuz I’m usually hasty and talk shit without thinking and I find a better answer:“My dad used to have a business and he lost it due to bad ethics? I guess? And mum wants to open a restaurant..I want to help them.”Sarutobi-sensei nods and smiles:“Sounds like a good reason to me, Naruto. Let’s see how much we can get out of you so you can help your parents.”I smile and nod. I feel like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but at least the teacher is ok.

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Scratch every good thing I said about this course. After three weeks since the senior year of high school has began I regret my life choices. Sarutobi-sensei is nice but I’ll totally fail this course 100%. I don’t get ethics, I barely get the debate about good and evil and I definitely hate Kant. It’s Monday and it’s lunch break and I just stare at my ramen cup.“Yo, Uzumaki, are you meditating or somethin’?” Kiba barks, punching me in the stomach. I gasp and give him a death stare:“Fuck you!”“No, thanks. I don’ swing that way” he mocks me.“What’s wrong, Naruto?” Shikamaru asks with his usual “I don’t give a fuck about anything” tone.“I’ll fail the optional course.”Sakura sighs:“I told you it was a mistake to choose that. What were you thinking?!”I growl at her sarcastically:“That makes me feel sooo much better, Sakura.”She rolls her eyes:“Grow up Naruto, assume consequences for your choices.”I groan and get out of the school cafeteria. The majority of my dialogues with Sakura end up with one of us going out of the room. She is too tough and I hate being told how wrong I am sometimes. It’s raining outside and the grey sky, with heavy clouds doesn’t make me feel any better. Gaara suddenly nudges my elbow, giving me my ramen cup and chopsticks:“They’ll get totally soggy” he says with a lopsided smile. I smile back:“Thanks”.I take the ramen cup and dig in. Indeed, they got soggy, but if I don’t eat I’ll get hungry until evening.“So, Business Ethics, huh?” he observes. His teal eyes are staring at the grey sky. I wonder why he doesn’t have a girlfriend cuz he has a better personality that any guy in this high school I’ve talked to. You kno, that type of guy who doesn’t think about sex and boobs, but more about cuddle and romance.“Are you goin’ to judge me too?” I ask him.He frowns:“Actually, I was going to ask you what you don’t get from the course.”“Everything” I snort and he snickers, the corners of his mouth going a bit up.“I see. Why don’t you ask Sarutobi-sensei to explain to you again? Or maybe…I don’t know.. find a better system to explain to you.”“I don’t kno’ if there is a system to explain such things to a stupid person like me” I joke and he turn to me fully, his eyebrows a bit frowned as a warning:“You say too often that you are stupid. I think you should stop saying that. It’s an excuse.”“An excuse to what?” I retort.“To not try harder” he declares, fully confident in his words.I raise my eyebrows:“Since when are you so.. I don’t even know how to call you” I say and his look turns completely from anger to amusement. He shrugs:“I just wanna help you. I know you haven’t figured out what university you want to go to, but if you give up all the courses that seem shitty and you don’t even try, you won’t be able to find out which way you want to go.”I stare at him. This is probably the longest phrase he ever said in one breath and it’s pretty accurate. He usually delivers four or five words per phrase, even if it they are jokes or something else.I finish my ramen and smile at him, all teeth showing:“Thanks, Gaara. I’ll…suck it up and do somethin’ about ol’man Sarutobi and his freakin’ Kant guy.” I pat him on the shoulder and suddenly he blushes a bit or maybe I just see it like that.We go back to the cafeteria. Sakura and the others are still at our table. I sit back at my place and Shikamaru puffs:“You calmed down.”I nod:“Yeah…got some air.”Sakura leans over the table and catches my hand:“Naruto….I’m sorry. I was a bit of a bitch.”I shake my head and squeeze her hand:“It’s ok, Sakura. I was a bit of a crybaby too.”Her gentle smile appears on her face too and I kno’ we’re even again. I just wish I could find a way to talk to her without being annoying…for her and for me.Kiba sneers at us:“You should get back together. Angry sex would solve all your problems.”Sakura immediately punches him in the face, gets up and heads to her class, not without spitting in his face:“Asshole!”. I go to room 9 again. It’s “Business Ethics” time and I just try to remember what Gaara told me. Don’t be a pussy! Fuck this Kant guy and his ideas!Sarutobi-sensei stays at his desk, in the same position I always find him waiting for me: his small glasses half fallen on his nose, his eyes fixed on the newspaper. He raises his head:“I’m impressed that you’re always early for this class” he observes.I go to my place, smiling proudly:“Don’t underestimate me, sensei. I can respect teachers the same way all you’re genius students did before.”He laughs, then his looks turns into something pensive:“You kno’ Naruto. Something tells me that you’re better than those genius students from the past.”I snort:“Let’s not overreact, sensei. I was just joking.”“I was not” he says, leaning a bit in his chair.I scratch my nape:“I don’t get it.”“Well, along the years lots of students pick this optional course for different reasons. Some wanted to go to a business school after graduation and wanted an introduction to everything. Some were forced by their parents to get into business school and forced to pick this class. Some were just bored and thought that this is the easiest way to swim through the last year of high school, without failing. But, I rarely get students that want to learn about business ethics because they’ve been involved in business ethics cases or they want to help their parents.”I blush a bit cuz I kno’ the first reason why I picked his class was not cuz I found the subject interesting or whatever, but just cuz I was trying to avoid failing. The whole mum and dad and whatever reason came up simply cuz I gave myself a mental kick in the ass and thought of a better idea.He keeps on going:“So, you may ask yourself what it’s so important if you picked up this class for personal reasons. Well, before anything else ethics are about attitudes that lead to a certain behavior. To me, as a teacher of philosophy and ethics, attitudes means that you understood profoundly the reason why you want to act in a way or another. A personal reason might not be totally objective, but it’s organic, it’s natural. And an ethical behavior in business should be like that.”I think he lost me when he made the connection between personal whatever and attitudes and ethics, but I might have understood what he meant..I just inhale and prepare myself for another painful lecture if I got this wrong, but I have to ask him:“So, sensei, what you mean it’s that if you want to be fair you can’t be fake or find a shallow reason for that, right? You just have to be fair cuz you believe in fairness.”He scratches his pointy beard and narrows his eyes at me, then nods:“It’s a long shot, but yes, this is what I meant, Naruto.”I scratch my nape again, maybe I’m not as stupid as I thought.He clears his throat, gets up, picks a piece of chalk and writes on the blackboard with big letters “Immanuel Kant (1724 – 1804)”. Mother of Jesus, even seeing the name of that guy makes me nauseous. And who the fuck names his kid “Immanuel”?! Like I can bet he wrote all that shit that nobody understands cuz he was frustrated his parents named him “Immanuel” and all the bullies in his school were makin’ fun of him.“Today will see the connection between Kant and business ethics.”I swallow all my saliva, but it keeps coming. Sensei picks up something from the drawer of his desk and puts on my desk.I stare at the papers and the plastic bag. Sensei explains:“Study cases. We’ll see if they were fair or not.”I rummage in the plastic bag:“Coloured markers?”If business ethics involves any sort of drawing I’m fucked.“Yes, you’ll underline the exact phrase when things went wrong. Then we’ll discuss.”You kno’ when an exam is coming up and you try to “get only the main ideas” so you could learn better and by the end of the day you figure you’ve underlined everything from every page cuz it feels like everything is important? That’s how I feel now…So, sensei brought 5 study cases. I got right one of them and a half, but he says it’s not as bad as it seems and that definitely next week will be better. Hope so…. The next week was definitely worse, but after that it got better. I started to understand what he meant and what those guys that I learned about meant. Don’t imagine that I was the perfect student, but from 1 study and a half that I was able to get right I moved to 2 studies, then 3. This was my limit until that point, but at least I was improving.Now it’s the end of November, a very gloomy and rainy one and sensei is checking up the subjects for the next weeks. Then suddenly he breaks the silence and asks:“Have you thought of university, Naruto?”I swallow and start fumbling with the zipper of my hoodie. I tried so hard in the last time to avoid this question, but it seems unavoidable. I exhale and confess:“No, sensei. I don’t know what I want to do.”He frowns:“What about this course? You said you picked it because you wanted to help your parents. Choose the university in the same way or choose for yourself.”I scratch my nape:“I don’ wanna choose only for myself. If I do that I’ll probably go to PE and become a teacher…”“So being a teacher is not your cup of tea” he observes.I smile shyly:“No offense, sensei. You’re a good teacher, but I’d be horrible.”He laughs:“Then let’s think about something else. You love this course? Have you thought of pursuing something related to this?”“All the things that are related are rather business schools or something closer to law schools and…I don’t want any of them” I grimace.He nods and starts scratching his beard:“What about PR?” he asks.“PR?”“Yes, Public Relations. University of Konoha has a very good bachelor’s degree program for that. At a certain point you’ll learn about ethics too, along with some other things, of course.”“Is it about math or something -?”“It’s not about math, Naruto” he interrupts me smiling “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. Do a little research first, see what you’ll learn, see what you can become after finishing this school and tell me next week. Ok?”I nod:“Ok, sensei.” When I get home I’m drenched cuz I forgot my umbrella. That becomes an awfully unimportant event when I enter the living room and I find both Nagato and Yahiko wearing makeup. Konan is still before Yahiko, smudging something on his face. I am frozen in place, staring at this freakin’ weird picture. Nagato notices and explains:“Don’t look like that, kid. You know Konan does this when she buys new makeup.”Yahiko nods enthusiastically and Konan gives him a peck on the nose. I still stare:“You guys are weird” I whisper, but then something flickers in Nagato’s eyes:“Hey, Konan. Naruto is blond with blue eyes. You should try that blue from your palette on him.”Konan seems completely drown in Yahiko’s makeup and I just hope she didn’t hear what Nagato suggested, but then she stops in tracks and her eyes snap towards me. A grin appears on her face:“Nagato, great idea. Naruto, come here”.I throw Nagato a look and moan:“Com’ on, Konan. You have your own face to paint.”Nagato snarls:“Well, we said the same thing, but we obeyed anyway. You have to learn to be a part of the group, Naruto”.His face is all a grin and I know he did this on purpose. He likes teasing me all the time.“I’ll tell my mum you guys are tryin’ to turn me into a weirdo” I declare, but go on the sofa near Konan anyway.“Pffff, Kushina will love to hear that you helped Konan” Nagato sneers.I stuck my tongue out at him and he raises his eyebrows:“What are you, 5?”“Actually” I grin “I thought you were. You’re the one who likes playin’ with makeup.”He narrows his eyes and Konan pinches me on one side.“Auch! What was that for?!”Konan comes closer to me and puts something on my face with a brush, growling in the same time:“You should just shut up and enjoy.”“Besides, it’a an honor to be Konan’s model” Yahiko observes.I just give all of them an eye roll and let her do whatever she wants. Soon, the movements she does with those brushes on my face make me fall asleep. I doze off for a few minutes until she nudges my knee:“Do you want to see how this looks?”I blink a few times and nod. She gives me a mirror and I’m a bit dumbfounded looking at my own reflection. I have blue and navy thing around my eyes, but for some reason it doesn’t look as bad as I thought. It’s weird, but, well when you live with this three, everything is….“So?” she says expectantly.“Uhmmm, it’s…I don’t kno’ what to say Konan.”She gives me a lopsided smile and ruffles my hair:“You’re so transparent all the time, Naruto.”I notice it’s just me and her on the sofa, while Nagato and Yahiko are probably making dinner, judging by the sounds that come from the kitchen.I shrug:“I’m a bad liar”.She laughs:“Yeah, you are. So, tell me..”I blink:“The colours are beautiful, Konan, but I don’t like it on me. It’s kinda…uhh.”She nods and pats me on the shoulder:“Thank you, anyway.”I watch her. She doesn’t wear make up today and no contact lenses. Her eyes are light brown, almost amber. I know she and Yahiko grew up in an orphanage:“Is this something you’d do back in the days?”She smiles pensively:“Since I was 15 or 16. Yahiko wanted to make me feel better and he started to let me put makeup on him. It made me focus on something else. We left the orphanage and made a life, but he still asks me to do it when I buy a new palette.”I inhale and exhale loudly and I see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.“Hey, Konan” I whisper and her eyes find mine “I think you’re good at this.”I give her a smile and she smiles back:“Go and wash. I’m sure dinner will be ready.”When I go back to the kitchen the dinner is indeed ready and Nagato teases me again and I tease him and we end up laughing. And suddenly I realise by this time next year I’ll live alone and I’m probably gonna miss this almost four years in which I grew up with them. The next week when I go back to Sarutobi’s sensei class I tell him that I’ll go to the University of Konoha for PR. He seems relieved in a way that I made up my mind and he tells me everything I need to learn to pass my exams. At lunch break our group is reunited again:“PR Uzumaki? Are you sure?’ Shikamaru asks, mouth full of fries. The entire table turns to me:“Yeah, no math and some cultural stuff. It’ll be..ok, I guess.”“But you know” Sakura says shoving a piece of pizza in her mouth “to that university the exams are pretty though.”“I kno’, I’ll try my best.”“Let’s just drop this subject” Kiba says ruffling my hair “and talk about prooooom” he adds with a grin. The entire table sighs. Prom it’s annoying when you’re in senior year and besides finals, university and whatnot they make you organize the damn thing.“I talked to some other guys that organized this fuckery last year. They said if we don’t find a good restaurant to bring the food they’re not gonna let us do anything” Ino observes, stealing a few fries from Shikamaru.“Great” I growl “but if we take that restaurant that Orochimaru sensei suggested it’s gonna be pretty damn expensive to go to this prom. I’d rather keep my money for something else.”Kiba nods and turns to Choji:“Yo, Akimichi. You should talk to your ol’man. You have that barbeque restaurant. What if you bring the food?”Choji grimaces:“Do ya think they’ll want to eat barbecue at prom?”Shikamaru snorts:“He’s right, Kiba. You don’t wanna eat barbeque on prom night.”“Wait, Shikamaru” Ino says “what if Choji’s dad brings the food and they prepare something else, not barbeque?”Sakura pats her on the shoulder:“Bingo, Ino! So, what do you think Choji?”Choji scratches his nose and shoves another huge piece of pizza in his mouth, then answers:“I’ll ask dad.”We clap for him, then Kiba barks again:“Now, the guuurls are the problem. Who brings who?”We stare for a couple of seconds at each other, then Sakura blurts out:“I”ll go with Naruto.”I turn to her flabbergasted:“You do?”“Yeah” she says and Kiba snorts.“So, for them it’s settled” Shikamaru declares.“You’ll bring Temari, right?” Kiba asks him wiggling his eyebrows.Shikamaru pushes his face away:“Yeah, I’ll bring Temari. So what?!”“And you Ino?”Ino seems deflated:“I really don’t know.”“Let me guess” Sakura observes with a grin “no man is good enough to come to the prom with you.”Ino narrows her light blue eyes at Sakura:“You wanna say Naruto is good enough so you can go to prom with him?”“Hey, I’m right here Ino, you kno’?!” I growl at her.“Naruto it’s my best friend” Sakura snarls at her “so this makes him good enough to go with me at prom.”Ino shrugs:“Then I’ll go with Choji.”“WHAT?!” Choji  exclaims.“Yeah, it’s settled” Ino says tapping the table “we’ll have fun at this prom without making this the usual <<let’s get laid before high school ends>>”.We start snorting in unison. I’m pretty sure with the way our group was in the last years we’ve never thought to “get laid before high school ends”. Not that we didn’t want to, but..you kno’…we..I mean I kno’ I haven’t found someone to make me think about that. The prom where we “don’t get laid before high school’s end” comes faster than I expected. The first semester ends in a chaos of exams and waves of Red Bull and the second follows immediately after, with snowstorms and thousands of projects and homeworks. We simply go by the rule of “being a robot” which basically means at a certain point you’re not able to make the difference between dinner and breakfast, so you just go with whatever the fridge has to offer you.When the end of March hits with less snow and more sun, the counseling for choosing university starts and I spend more and more time with Sarutobi-sensei cuz he’s the only one who seems pretty interested in my future. The others also start to spend time with their optional courses teachers and our discussion are more and more focused around the future. Shikamaru will go to IT, in the same university as me, Sakura to medicine, same as Ino. Gaara chose psychology, but to a private university and Kiba chose the Konoha Police Academy. Shino goes for biology or something related to the bugs that he likes so much and Choji decided not to go to a faculty, but to some sort of cooking school cuz he wants to become a chef. Hinata chooses architecture, just like Neji and we start to get sad cuz we realize everyone will go on their own road and we won’t be able to spend so much time together.Then the big bomb drops and the finals hits us like a tsunami, making everyone think that we’ll probably have to repeat the last year of high school. The week in which we wait for the results is full of anxiety and tension and it simply ends with a click on the high school site where the scores are posted. I manage to get 80 or 88 points in all of them and 100 to Sarutobi’s sensei class and he calls me to congratulate me for finally getting along with ol’man Kant.When June finally settles in with bright sun and the smell of summer we prepare for prom. One week before the big thing Konan drags me in the mall and Sakura and the others join us too to find the perfect suit/dress. Konan manages to do her best and finds me a nice navy suit that “goes well with my eyes” as she and Sakura declares. Not to mention that my parents got overly excited for prom and they sent me waaay to much money, but Konan manages to find the suit, shoes and bow tie at a very good price, so I end up with some pocket money.Now it’s the big event evening and I’m putting my shoes on so I can go and pick up Sakura. Konan, Nagato and Yahiko all decided to drive me to her house, armed with their phones and cameras cuz mum asked specifically for photos of this night.I knock at Sakura’s door and suddenly feel a wave of emotion pass me. I look at the pink rose I brought for her. Her mum opens the door and gives me a full smile:“Naruto, good evening! Ah, you look handsome.”“Good evening, ma’am. Is Sakura ready?”She nods:“In a few minutes” then she glances at the group behind me and I feel the need to explain.“These are my roommates” and I point to each of them “Nagato, Yahiko and Konan. Nagato is my cousin. He’s here for the embarrassing pictures.”The three greets her and she warmly shakes their hands then suddenly barks towards the hallway:“SAKURA! DON’T LET THE BOY WAIT FOR YOU!!”In this kind of moments I always remind myself whose DNA Sakura’s inherited, cuz along the years I’ve got to know her parents and her mum is the only one who can switch in a second from a warm smile to an aggressive howling machine.Sakura appears down the hallway one minute later, looking stunning in her short-mint-off the shoulder dress. Her shoes are also mint, but not to tall and her pink hair is kept in a simple low bun at the base of his neck. She smiles when she sees me and I give her the rose, while her mum and the three musketeers are snapping photos of us. They make us pose in different ways, until Konan glances at the clock and tells us is time to go.When we arrive to the restaurant there are balloons at the entrance and a photo booth with some sort of floral and sparkly background and all the pairs stop there to take the famous picture from prom night that everyone will receive in print. Sakura smiles faintly when I grab her waist for the picture. When we go to our group table, Shikamaru and Temari are already there. She wears a short lace cream dress and her hair has some loose curls and she blushes a bit when we point out that she came for Shikamaru, who looks cool in his black suit, by the way.A few minutes later Kiba and Hinata arrive. She wears a kinda ice short dress and her hair is straight as it always been and she blushes and stutters every time Kiba talks to her, but there is a something warm in her light blue eyes when she looks at him. The last pairs to arrive are Gaara with Matsuri, who is a girl from another class, but cute with her two piece kinda burgundy dress. I think she picked that up to match Gaara’s burgundy suit, but they look good together. And then there is Ino and Choji, all smiling and laughing cuz probably they’ve never thought they’ll end up together at prom. Ino is the only girl from our group that wears a long dress, lavender, but she did this on purpose.We gather around and start chattering until the teachers arrive and they give us a boring speech about the future. Then the music starts booming and we all go on the dance floor.From Lorde’s “Royals”, Pink’s “Just Give Me a Reason”, Justin Timberlake’s “Mirrors”, Imagine Dragons “Radioactive” to Lady Gaga’s “Applause” One Republic’s “Counting Stars” and Zedd’s “Clarity” we dance and scream on all songs that were played that night, with little breaks in between for food, coke (cuz alcohol was not allowed) and one smoke (in case of Shikamaru). Then the DJ puts on “Everything Has Changed” by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran and the boys start mocking around, inviting each other to dance. Kiba brings me by the hand and pulls me to the dance floor:“You’re INSANE!” I shout and he grins.“Com’on. You’ll miss me like hell, Uzumaki” he retorts grabbing my waist with both hands while I decide for the sake of the joke to put my hand around his neck.“So, Hinata, huh?” I ask him while he’s trying hard to avoid stepping on my shoes. He gives me a sarcastic look and ads:“So, Sakura, huh? I thought you guys were over.”I shrug:“We are, it’s just…” and I stop cuz I don’t know exactly what it is.“You’re not good at saying goodbye, Uzumaki” Kiba says leaning in to whisper in my ear, gesture that makes Ino whistle suggestively from our table.I snort and lean in too, a little bit too close, but if he wants to joke I can joke too:“Hinata makes you sappy” I say and he tries to push me, but my hands grip around his neck keeps him in place:“You better take care of her or Neji will kill ya” I snicker.He starts laughing and I allow him to push me.Around midnight the teachers bring a huge cake and we go outside to watch the fireworks, then inside again to stuff our faces with the cake. At some point Ino gets some cream from the cake and smudges over Shikamaru’s face and makes him growl at her and Temari steps in to save his ass and we basically end up smudged with cream everywhere on our faces. After we clean up Kiba goes to the DJ and asks him to play “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus cuz he knows our girls loved that song, Hinata especially. Sakura tugs my shirt sleeve and I go with her on the dance floor.“I can almost see it/That dream I'm dreaming but/There's a voice inside my head saying/You'll never reach it,/Every step I'm taking,/Every move I make feels/Lost with no direction/My faith is shaking but I/Gotta keep trying/Gotta keep my head held high.”She hums the song while she rests her head on my shoulder. At the chorus I twirl her and she chuckles adding:“You’re so romantic, Naruto.”“Puah” I puff and wiggle my eyebrows at her.When the song ends the DJ puts another one, and this time all our group is on the dancing with his respective pair.“Why can't I hold you in the street?/Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?/I wish that it could be like that/Why can't it be like that?/'Cause I'm yours/Why can't I say that I'm in love?/I wanna shout it from the rooftops/I wish that it could be like that/Why can't it be like that?/'Cause I'm yours” the chorus of Morisette’s cover on “Secret Love Song” echoes in the room. Sakura’s eyes are fixed on mine and she suddenly seems sad and asks:“This is really the end, isn’t it?”I shrug:“End of high school, yeah. End of our friendship, definitely not.”“I’m terrified, Naruto” she whispers after a pause, hiding in the crook of my neck.I nod faintly and whisper in her ear:“I kno’. I’m scared too, but we’ll do it. This time next year we’ll remember how scared we were and we’ll laugh.”She rises her head and scan my face:“You’re Mister Optimism.”I give her a proud lopsided smile:“This is why you like me that much.”“Moron” she mutters, then something in her eyes change. The song is about to end:“Naruto” she whispers again leaning in until I can feel her cherry blossom perfume invading my lungs.“Y-yeah?” I stutter.She pauses for a bit then blushes faintly:“If I kiss you now, will you get this the wrong way?”I blink a bit, dumbfounded and try to process her question:“Why?” it’s the only thing I’m able to ask.She seems hopeless hen she answers:“I don’t know…I just feel like I have to kiss you.”I analyse her for a bit and finally decide one kiss will do no harm. Konan told me in these four years that not all the things in our life makes sense. I lean in and tell her:“Then kiss me.”She leans in too and closes her eyes. Her lips barely touch mine and I pull her by the waist a little bit closer. She tastes like the cake and most probably I do too. When the song ends we break the kiss and she sits her forehead on my shoulder. I don’t remember when I started to be taller than her. She mumbles something from my shoulder and I have to tilt my head to hear:“I’ll miss you.”I hug her:“I’ll miss ya, too, Sakura-chan.”She looks at me and starts chuckling, although I see tears in her eyes. We go back to our table and everything that Kiba and Shikamaru are giving me is a quirked eyebrow.Around 2 PM all of us go home. Because the restaurant it’s not too far away from my apartment I decide to go on my own, while Sakura leaves with Ino for a sleepover and the others go to their homes. Gaara and Temari are going to Kankuro’s new apartment and I need a few minutes to convince the redhead that I’ll be fine on the way back home.The night is warm and the sky is full of stars. The silence and the walk helps me clear my mind after the buzz of prom. I’m a bit sad cuz this is definitely the end of a chapter and Kiba was right. I’m not good at endings and that’s that. We promised each other that we’ll still remain friends, but honestly I don’t know where life will take us. I suddenly hear steps behind me and the feeling of déjà vu from years ago hits me in the pit of my stomach. I stop and turn, growling at the intruder:“The fuck you want?!”It’s a skinny man with a black hoodie and I can’t see his face very well in the weak light of the street lamp. He speaks in a calm, low voice:“Are you Naruto Uzumaki?”I snarl:“Never heard of this fucking guy.”He lets out a scary chuckle:“So Nagato trained you well. Nevermind.”He rummages in the pocket of his hoodie. My bloods turns cold in my veins. If this guy pulls up a gun from there I’ll die like a dog. He picks up something and shows it to me and from what I can see it’s a USB. Then he bends and lets the thing slide to me on the pavement. The USB stops at my feet. He speaks again:“You should give this to him. It’s the piece of the puzzle he was looking for.”He stops then and tilts his head:“You definitely look like your father” he declares after turning around and running away. I really want to follow him but I’m afraid he might have a gun or something. I pick up the USB hoping that it’s not a bomb and go straight home. When I enter the apartment Nagato and Yahiko are in front of the TV.“Someone got laaaaid tonight?” Yahiko snickers and stops when he sees me. Probably I don’t look to well. Nagato immediately stands up:“Naruto, what’s wrong?”I give him the USB:“A weird guy gave me this. He said it might be the piece of the puzzle you were looking for.”The moment I say this Yahiko jumps up, takes a gun hidden under the sofa and rushes out the door. Nagato follows him and I just remain confused. They return 10 minutes later and Nagato takes the USB goes in front of his laptop.“Nagato, what if it’s a virus?!” Yahiko observes, voice a bit worried.My cousin ignores him and opens the folder from the USB. We stare at the files.“Invoices” Yahiko declares.The silence stretches over the living room. Nagato stares at the files and jolts:“Did he do something to you? Did he threaten you in any way?”I shake my head:“No, he just give this to me and said I look like my dad.”Nagato exhales and glances at Yahiko:“This motherfucker. There are thousands of these” he points at the laptop.“But there must be a reason. He was the only one who had access to them.”“Who the fuck is he?” I ask exasperated.Nagato’s eyes are searching mine. They are cold and the way he stares at me sends shivers down my spine.“Obito”  he declares.“The guy who was my dad partner?”“Yes”.I frown:“But why did he give this to me? And he knew you.”“Yeah, we investigate the Namikaze case again. Someone sent us something one year ago but we decided to stop because there were no new information” he pauses and then turns to the laptop “now they are.”I move my eyes between him and Yahiko:“Will someone explain this to me? Am I in danger? Are my parents in danger??”Yahiko pats me on the shoulder:“No, they’re not. But…” and he searches for approval in Nagato’s sharp eyes. He nods so Yahiko goes on “the thing with your dad and Namikaze INC might be bigger than your parents thought at that time. It was never fully solved and the thing that happened last year made the secret services concerned.”“What the fuck that’s supposed to mean?’ I whine.“Sit down, Naruto” Nagato says and my prom night and the end of high school simply disappear.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sasuke's POV

I wake up drenched in sweat, with my bangs sticking to my forehead and my pulse booming in my ears. Another dream. At least it was a “good one”, not a nightmare, but it’s the same. It has been the same for years. The same man with no face that kisses me on the forehead or tells me he loves me. Still, the fact that he has no face pisses me off and has pissing me off along the years. Stupid brain.Well, it’s not like the nightmares make any sense either: it’s always my parents on a wooden floor in a pool of blood and my brother chasing me and threatening that he’ll kill me. And even if it’s the same scenario for years, nightmares make me nauseous and I usually throw up after. Basically, after my parents died I got freaking crazy. Kakashi, my therapist likes to call it severe PTSD, but I like to call it batshit crazy.. I stare at the ceiling, waiting for my damn heart to calm down. The red numbers of the digital clock shows me it’s 7.30 and if I stay in bed a bit more I’ll be late for the session with Kakashi.I wake up and go to the bathroom. The mirror shows me huge dark circles and hair that looks disgusting. I grunt and take a shower and then dress up.In the kitchen Itachi sits at his usual spot sipping his coffee. Shisui puts his pancakes in front of him, then gives him a peck on his temple. My brother’s dark eyes instantly fill with a gentle light and he kisses Shisui back on the cheek.They’ve been dating for 9 years now and when Itachi came and told me six months after our parents’ death that he’s gay it didn’t surprised me that much. Shisui is 3 years older than him and it’s also an Uchiha, but we are not related. He’s from the Uchiha branch family from Japan and ran away from his family when his parents disinherited him due to his sexual preferences. Itachi met him when Shisui came to his highschool to talk about registering in the Police Special Forces. They had a huge chemistry, that you can still see these days and everything took off from there. Shisui helped us after the incident and convinced the judge to let Itachi inherit our parents money so that our “auntie”, my dad’s sister wouldn’t steal it. The house, dad’s and mum’s car and the company was taken away from us. At that time Shisui was already working in the special forces and decided it was better to take the money and disappear, because something was not ok with the way the judge dealt with the whole situation and the accident itself.Shisui took us in his house, found another school for me, helped my brother to get into the ANBU, which is the name of the division in the Police Special Forces they work in and supported us in any way he could. As far as I know this division works hand in hand with Japanese Secret Services, but I’m not sure. When Itachi got worried because of my mental state Shisui asked the therapist in their division to help me.Kakashi Hatake was specialized in dealing with murder witnesses, terrorist attack survivors, mafia or yakuza attack survivors and other people that were fucked up by life in scenarios that look like an action movie plot. I hated the guy. I still hate him sometimes. He is the most annoying therapist ever. Firstly, he’s now 35 but he dyed his hair grey since he was freaking 17. He has a horrible sense of humor, horrible sense of fashion and he reads porn like “50 Shades of Grey” and other stupid books of this kind. And I still have nightmares, so I don’t know how good he is as a therapist, but I still go to him because I don’t want to upset Itachi.He scans now my face and asks:“Rough night again?”
Tsch, I can’t hide anything from him…
“I’m fine.”“Do you want something to eat?” Shisui asks opening the fridge already.“Just coffee, please.”I sit down at the table and follow Shisui as he moves fluidly in the kitchen, making me a big cup of coffee.“Are you going to Kakashi today?” Itachi asks.“Yeah.”Shisui snorts putting the coffee in front of my face:“Are you monosyllabic again, Sasuke?”I raise my head to search for his eyes and give him a look. Shisui has really big eyes for a Japanese guy. They’re always warm and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him getting angry ever, but I’ve seen him talking about hitting people with cars or shooting them in the head on spot, with a voice so feral that made my blood get cold instantly. Despite the divison he works in, that deals with catching terrorist, corrupt politicians or other fuckers that are hard to catch because they have power, he is in the rest of his time very touchy, girly almost. When we moved with him years ago and my brother and him barely starting dating, even Itachi, who was warmer than me, was taken aback by Shisui’s frequent hugs, pecks on the nose or cheeks or caresses. Shisui noticed, but never ceased them, instead he waited patiently until my brother was ready to be the first to initiate any type of physical contact. And as soon as he started, he never stopped, which made me realise, years after, when I started to get better, how much my brother wanted this type of affection.Shisui notices my face and ruffles my hair:“Ok, got it. Bad day.”He turns to Itachi and kisses him on the lips this time:“I have to leave in 20 minutes. Are you two ok?”Itachi nods in response, gets up and hugs his fiancé from behind (they got engaged 4 years ago). Shisui chuckles, turns around and hugs him too:“See you at work” he says before leaving probably to get ready.Itachi sits back at the table, faint shade of pink on his cheeks. I give him an eye roll and finish my coffee. I’m not upset by the fact that he is happy. He suffered more than me because he was 18 when our parents died and he had to became the head of the family. He was scared and confused, but he couldn’t mourn our parents because he had a little brother to take care of. So he just endured and I think the only reason why he remained sane was thanks to Shisui. But I…I struggled with depression, PTSD and other batshit crazy stuff my brain decided to create after my parents died. And I just became a very cold person. I don’t like being touched or being forced to talk about my feelings. I hate feelings. They make you weak. Which is turning into a bullshit when you go to a therapist that wants to talk to you about “what’s wrong” and “how you can overcome the trauma”.I finish my coffee and tell my brother I have to go. He just nods and warns me to be careful.It’s the beginning of March, but it doesn’t look like that at all with the mountains of snow. I get into my car, a black Maserati GranTurismo that my brother bought for me two years ago. That sorry excuse of an aunt that we have thought that if she takes the house and all the other belongings that my parents had we’ll starve, but the truth is dad left us a tone of money. I think he knew what we’ll happen if he died –all the hyenas from the Uchiha clan rushed in. His sister was one of them and then there was the fucker named Madara Uchiha that managed to take the company away from my brother. I don’t know how, but I will find out one day. And I’ll find those murderers who killed my parents too. Everything that I did after the accident was for this objective. Now I have one more year of law school and I’ll be able to focus on that.After 20 minutes of shitty traffic I arrive at Kakashi’s office. He’s chewing a croissant when I enter and gives me a stupid smile. Fortunately, for that part of my brain that was still sane, along the years I got used to the guy, but when I first met him and he started with his stupid questions I screamed at him and told him he can fuck off. In a minute his gentle look turned into a complete bitch face. He grabbed me by the collar, shoved me in the nearest wall and with a cold voice told me:“Listen to me, you piece of shit. Your brother and Shisui are dying of worry because of you. Itachi told me you piss your pants from time to time, which means you have problems. I deal with people like you everyday. People that lost everything and trust me some of them ended up worse than you. I’m not saying that this shit is easy, I’m saying that you should at least accept help when its offered to you. If not for your fucking sake, for your brother’s who loves you like a fool.”I refused to talk to him for two months, but went to his sessions anyway.  He ignored me until one day he left the TV opened in his office and Madara Uchiha was giving an interview. He looked at the TV screen for a minute and then spitted a “I’d love to see ya decapitated, you son of a bitch” and changed the channel. I figured we had one thing in common and started from there.Now he finishes his croissant and observes:“You had a nightmare again.”I sit on the sofa next to his desk:“Not a nightmare. A dream.”“That man with no face again?”“Yeah”.He picks up my file and takes a pen, writing his observations:“Are you sure you don’t have a problem with the fact that you’re gay?”I exhale exasperated:“I told you I don’t.”“You still hook up with that guy?” he asks indifferently as it would be a question about weather.I glare at him:“Not your damn business.”He snorts:“I see. You’re in your bitch mode today. Ok, so I’ll speak. You’ve been having these repetitive dreams about a man with no face that you love or have sex with since you were 18, which is the year you figured you don’t like girls. I keep asking you if you have a problem with your sexual orientation or not because the coincidence it’s too big-““And I told you I don’t care who I fuck with” I interrupt him.It’s his turn to glance at me:“Great Sasuke. That man you’re with must be very fond of you.”“We. Just. Fuck” I tell him again.“Your brother knows that you want to became a men whore just because you don’t know how to deal with emotions?”“Fuck off” I snarl at him. It’s one of those days when he pushes my buttons.He sighs and keeps on:“What about the nightmare with your parents?”“Not having that for two months now.”“The one in which you kill your brother?”“Almost a year or so.”He writes something else there and scans my face:“Get out of my office then. We’ll get nowhere today. You don’t cooperate. Tell that prostitute of yours he didn’t fuck you well.”I glare at him again and slam the door. You can see he is a very good therapist.When I get to the university it’s 30 minutes before the class, so I just decide it’s time for another coffee. When I enter Starbucks, Jūgo and Suigetsu are already there. They are in the same year as me and they are the only guys that completely ignored the fact that I was an Uchiha, so I began spending time with them here and there. Today I totally want to avoid them, but Suigetsu has other plans:“Yo, Sasuke. Here”.Jūgo nudges him seeing my face but he keeps calling for me until I give up and go to their table.“The fuck you want, Suigetsu?!”He frowns and narrows his eyes at me. Suigetsu has grey jaw length hair (probably got inspired to dye it like that from Kakashi through telepathy or something) and his blue eyes sometimes look violet to me. He is skinny and likes surf and met Jūgo in kindergarden. I really don’t know how Jūgo stands this guy. He has a big mouth, he’s an idiot and he’s not a very smart student. The only good thing about him is the fact that he’s good at sex..which clarifies that he is the one I’ve been messing up with. We’ve met at a party in my first year, he was drunk, I was bored and we’ve just screwed each other back then and then a few more times along the years. It didn’t happen for six months now, which is something I haven’t told Kakashi because it’s not his business and I want to let him think I’m a gay in denial. Make things more interesting for him.Jūgo it’s exactly the opposite of Suigetsu. He’s quiet, very smart and usually makes him shut his big mouth. And he is huge because he played rugby in highschool. But, despite his height and broad shoulders one look at his face and you instantly get calm. I swear he’s like a monk or something and he’s a ginger.“Are you in a bad mood, babe?” Suigetsu snickers and I clench my jaw.“Suigetsu!” Jūgo warns him with his rough voice and the guy just gives both of us an eye roll. Thanks God Karin it’s not here yet…Karin is someone who I particularly didn’t want to meet because I heard she was an Uzumaki and I really didn’t want to meet another one. Fortunately, as far as I noticed in the last years she never spoke about her family or any kind of connection she might have with that guy. Suigetsu knew Karin and he just started to drag her after us everywhere until she became part of the “family”. This has been going for 3 years now and I really don’t know how I ended up with them.Just when I was thinking Karin will not show up today she enters the coffee shop like a storm, her red hair a mess. Her red rimmed glasses are fogging up and she mumbles something about that when she sits down. Then she notices the tension and declares:“Ok, so someone here still has a dick shoved deep in his ass.”Suigetsu barks a fake laugh and spits:“Sasuke has two dicks up in his ass today.”Jūgo slaps his face and I just close my eyes shut, trying to ignore whatever Karin has to say back to Suigetsu. When I figure they won’t stop I get up and grab my coffee. Out in the cold the pulsating pain in my temple starts to fade, until someone grabs my shoulder. It’s Suigetsu:“Come on, man. I didn’t mean it that way.”The moment I glance at his hands he takes that away and gives me a grin.“If you’re trying to get me in your pants, I’m not in the mood.”He snorts:“Frankly, I think I’m better in Karin’s pants than yours.”I give him a disgusted look and declare:“Take the other two idiots and let’s head to class.”The rest of the day goes on the same as the morning. It’s shitty. I can’t make the waves of pain in my temples go away. They cease at times, just to come back stronger after 5 or 10 minutes. I can’t follow my teachers, my notes get completely messy at a certain point and by the end of the day I am more pissed off than ever. Even Suigetsu with his awful nagging personality figures something is wrong and decides to stay silent.On the way back home I’m simply replaying that day in my head, thinking that it could have been better if I have talked to Kakashi. Fuck myself! When I enter the house it’s smells like lasagna, sign that Shisui made his magic in the kitchen again. Him and my brother are watching the TV in the living room, Shisui resting his head in Itachi’s lap. My brother’s fingers comb his hair in all directions and a smile of satisfaction is plastered all over his face. I sit near them on the couch, in silence, not even greeting them and they now something is wrong or just…shitty. After a few minutes Shisui breaks the silence:“Lasagna?”I turn to him. His black big eyes are fixing me the same way a mum looks at his child after he scratched his knees and it’s still sobbing. It’s weird to see my brother’s fiancé looking like that at me and in the same time it’s heart warming because it reminds me that I am not as lonely as I feel.He waits patiently for my answer and a different word escapes my lips:“I’m sorry..for this morning.”Shisui seems confused for a few seconds, then reaches and takes one of my hands, squeezing it a bit. His hands are warm, with long fingers that betray the years he spent playing piano, until the day he left Japan. If my brother would ever tell me he fell in love with Shisui’s perfect hands I wouldn’t blame him.“It’s okay” he adds, before getting up an heading to the kitchen.It’s just me and my brother on the couch now and he has on his face the same expression as Shisui. I close my eyes and put my head in my hands, not being able to look at him. I notice he’s getting closer and starts rubbing my back.“We’re still here for you” are the only words he says.I raise my head and he has that affectionate faint smile he keeps only for me since we were kids. I simply nod. I can’t do anything else because every time I try I feel paralyzed. If I allow myself to feel more I’m afraid that all the emotions I denied up until now will rush in and destroy that last piece of sanity I still have, just because of my brother’s love and Shisui’s care.After dinner Shisui goes into the living room and my brother on the roof to smoke. He didn’t gave up those things and Shisui always laughs at him for smoking on the roof, but I think it’s in a way therapeutic for Itachi. I take my parka and sit near him. Shisui’s house has different tiles than ours and the roof is less inclined making that feeling of danger from the past to disappear, but, despite that Itachi keeps coming up here and I keep coming too.. because for a moment I still have the feeling that when we’ll go back in the house we’ll still have to pass through Itachi’s old room, then on the hallway and down the stairs, until we’ll reach our old kitchen where mum will be waiting for us with dinner and dad with his impassive face.My brother’s voice makes me jolts suddenly:“Kakashi says you’ve been making progress.”I flinch:“Kakashi says a lot of things and few of them are true.”Itachi snorts, then a cloud of smoke escapes his nostrils and mouth:“This time I’m sure he’s telling the truth. I can see you’re better. Shisui too.”I bring my knees to my chest, letting my chin rest on them:“You’re just trying to make me feel less batshit crazy than I am.”Itachi turns to me, brow frowned in disapproval:“You’ve got to stop saying that.”“You’ve got to stop believing what happened years ago didn’t make me lose a big piece of my sanity” I retort.He clicks his tongue and shrugs in a way that makes me imagine a cat getting angry and arching the back, ready for a fight:“We’re all mad here, Sasuke” he sighs and I snort at him quoting Chesire from “Alice in Wonderland”…”I’ve never blamed you for being in pain” he adds “I’ll never do that. The only thing that could annoy me would be you not overcoming this and living you’re life like a robot, the same way dad did.”My chest is suddenly tightening:“So, am I supposed to forget that some bastards destroyed our life and killed our parents and that you had to become a father for me when you were still a child?”He shakes his head:“No, you’re not supposed to forget that. But you have to learn to live with that. And you’re not doing that right now.”My eyes flash in disapproval.“Don’t look at me like that, Sasuke” he says with a tone that sounds both as a warning and a sign of compassion “I know you’ve been hooking up with random guys just to drown in something instead or drugs or alcohol, I know you don’t go out, I know you just learn and learn and think about Madara Uchiha and learn a bit more.”“It was just one guy and it doesn’t happen anymore and Kakashi is the worst.”“And he is concerned” Itachi retorts.I glance away and he exhales, then, when he speaks again his voice has the same resonance as my father’s, when he was scolding me:“Live your life, Sasuke. Live your life and let the past be the past. Forget about revenge, forget about finding the culprits and punishing them or worst, killing them. It won’t bring our parents back, but what it’ll bring for certain is an ocean of sufferance that will never go away and at the end of your days you will regret everything.”He gets up and I hear him going back in the house. I stare at the sky thinking that I don’t know if this is my life and if I want to live it or not. Because I feel it got into a point that it’s seems so broken for me, that I think no therapy in the world will convince me I still have a chance to make things better. I don’t cry anymore nor I scream in my sleep as I used to, but the constant feeling of destruction, of darkness doesn’t go away. Indeed I went to law school and made a few friends, if you can call the three idiots friends, but the dreams haven’t disappear completely, the panic attacks either, let’s not talk about my complete incompetence in dealing with feelings of any sort. I can’t feel happiness because immediately I’m having a panic attack or a migraine or I throw up. I can’t cry either, I can only feel angry or pissed off. I feel amused only in small doses and I don’t remember when I laughed my ass off the last time. The only thing I can do it’s to look at my brother and Shisui, see them revolving around each other, feel Shisui’s shy attempts to ruffle my hair or squeeze my hands or give me a half hug and be grateful for him and for those two seconds of peace this “family” gives me. But these things seem so small in comparison with the huge weight I feel on my shoulders, a weight that has Madara Uchiha’s face or instead of him, comes into my mind in the image of my parents’ wrecked car.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I am definitely not a very big fan of spring, because this season usually comes with tones of bugs, too many pollen in the air and freakin’ allergies. Yay!! However, when winter gets to that point where it doesn’t go away, forgetting that the calendar changed, that’s when I start to kinda miss spring. This is what happened this year: winter kept on throwing snowstorms until late March, beginning of April and legit spring weather barely arrived around 4th of May.May it’s a shitty month for me because there are a few projects that I need to finish before finals and to one of them, “EU Laws and Regulations”, the teacher keeps refusing since the first year to let us use the Internet, so we are forced to go to the library. And if it wasn’t bad enough, he randomly chooses the subject and gives them to you, so you basically don’t know where to do your research or if you’re going to find the information you need at our faculty’s library. And because the week days are full you can only work for this stupid projects in weekend.Guess what?! This year I have to talk about something utterly boring called GDPR and I can’t find anything about that in our library, so I have to drive all the way to the Konoha Central Library to do my research. Which means to go to the freakin’ center of the city, in a Saturday morning…I hate the center of the city and I definitely hate crowded spaces…Now, do you think I’m the only one who needs to do projects for the end of the semester? Of course, I’m not. There’s a fucking tone of students in the weekend at Konoha Central Library because it’s the only one opened in weekends…so I end up waiting to pass the security check for one hour and then another half an hour until I get to the lady at the counter that can bring me the fucking books I need for this shitty project. I can feel my blood boiling and I know I’ll most certainly have a fucking migraine by the end of the day.In the reading room I struggle literally to find a place and I’m lucky a girl offers to squeeze a bit and make me some space on her table. After taking notes about GDPR for 2 hours the buzz in the room, the rustle of pages and the systematic sound of tapped laptop keyboards make pulse to go nuts so I just decide it’s enough for today and it’s better to leave before I freak out completely. I take my stuff and I’m ready to go when I just glance around the room to see how much crowded this place could go. And in that mere second when you do something so trivial as looking around a room all my life turns upside down. Two tables away I notice a blonde mop of hair and I know immediately to whom it belongs. I know that because years, years ago when he entered our classroom this is the exact same thing that got my attention. When two blue orbs settle on my eyes I have the painful confirmation that that person it’s exactly who I think he is. I want to move my eyes away, turn around and go, but for some unknown reason I can’t move at all. I just stand there, frozen in place, staring literally like a retarded at my old childhood friend.At first, Naruto’s eyes doesn’t seem to fix me specifically. It seems that he’s so focused in what he’s doing that he’s looking through me, but then he just blinks and fixes my face and I can see the utter surprise that hits him when he recognizes me. The next thing I know it’s that I turn around, act like I haven’t stared at him like an idiot for two minutes and rush out of the room.I go to the lady and give the books back to her, get my student ID and silently pray I’ve just imagined things because as batshit crazy as I am a few hallucinations won’t do any harm.
Please don’t follow me, please don’t follow me, please don’t follow me.
“Sasuke!” SHIT! His voice echoes on the hallway and even if it’s a bit deeper than I remember I know it belongs to him. I keep on moving, but I hear his steps behind me and he catches up on the stairs at the entrance.“Sasuke is that you?” he checks again, although from the way he sounds it looks like he already knows it’s me.I swallow the bile in my mouth and turn around trying to compose myself:“Naruto, huh?” I answer, face as blank as I can.He is so much taller than I remember, maybe 2 or 3 cm shorter than me, broad shoulders, well built body, skinny blue jeans, orange pale T-shirt and blue eyes that simply caught fire in the May’s sun, glistening like sapphires. Did his eyes get bluer than I remember?He blinks a few times then immediately his mouth curves into a huge smile. Please don’t hug me …and he hugs me, making me go stiff in his arms. Noticing that I’m not a very big fan of his gesture he releases me:“It’s you indeed. I can’t believe it.”I roll my eyes:“Go and take glasses if you don’t see well.”Hearing my snarky comment his smile grows even bigger and he observes:“Bitchy as always.”“Tsch…”“Hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee?” he asks, suddenly bouncing faintly on his heels in excitement.I glare at him an answer:“I don’t have time now” and turn around to head to the parking lot.
Where the fuck did I left my damn car??
He follows me:“Com’on, Sasuke.I don’t get to see you in like 10 years and this is the only answer I get from you?”“I don’t have time now to mess around with you.”He grabs my wrist and tugs at it so I turn to him, frowning at his hand. He flinches and retracts it:“Then when do you have time?”I look at his soft expression and those damn eyes filled with something I can’t wrap my mind around: hope? Sadness? Pain? Curiosity?
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SASUKE!!!
“I don’t know” I growl at him.“What about next weekend? Just a cup of coffee” he pushes.I feel so bad at this point, migraine tightening my head like a claw, stomach clenching and panic hitting me in waves that I’m not even thinking straight when I answer:“Fine”.He is blinding me with his smile again and declares:“Next Sunday, 13 PM at that Starbucks near University of Konoha?”I nod, greet him, turn around and manage to find my car.The moment I sit down on the driver’s seat the panic attack hits me so bad that my hands start to shake uncontrollably and I’m barely able to take my phone and call Kakashi. I don’t want to call my brother or Shisui and to freak them out:“Yo, Sasuke, what’s up?”“Can…can you come and pick me up?” I ask, voice shaky and strained by irregular breaths. He notices immediately and speaks:“Where are you? Don’t drive, ok?”“Konoha Central Library. I’m in my car.”“Don’t drive, I’ll come and pick you up. Try to control your breathing, Sasuke!” he warns me again before I hung up.The 15 or 20 minutes I wait for Kakashi with my head resting on the wheel are fuzzy. The only thing I can do is trying to focus on my breath somehow, but I don’t think I’m doing a very good job. Suddenly someone knocks on my window. Kakashi is wearing his comfy clothes and flip-flops and he looks like he just woke up. I open the door for him and move to the passenger’s seat:He scans my face and asks:“What happened?”“I met someone” I answer, voice low.“Who?” he insists in a calm tone.“Naruto”.The moment his name leaves my lips another lump of bile invades my mouth.“Naruto? Your childhood friend?”I nod faintly.Kakashi clears his throat:“You should be happy, Sasuke, not having a mental breakdown”.“You know why I’m having a mental breakdown” I hiss at him.He grabs my shoulder and declares:“Be happy. Allow yourself to be happy.”His touch is burning my skin and I want to flinch, but I know if I do that things will get nasty. Kakashi is that kind of therapist who wants to help you, has patience, but if you’re stubborn he finds ways to force you to get better. I don’t know if this makes him a good therapist or a bad one, but if he still works in the ANBU probably he is good.He drives in silence to his apartment and “shoves” me on his sofa. He was watching something on Netflix. 5 minutes later he comes with two cups of tea and he hands me one:“Chamomile”.I take the mug from him, avoiding his gaze.“If you don’t want me to tell Itachi about this, you’d better talk, Sasuke.”He likes to corner me. I exhale exasperated:“I saw him then freaked out.”“Did you talk?”“He did.”Kakashi snorts:“And you?”“I just agreed to see him next weekend.”“Good.”“I’m not going.”Kakashi clicks his tongue:“You’re going.”“No, I’m not” I growl at him.He ruffles his hair in exasperation and spits:“Why not?”“Because I don’t feel well around him” I spit too.“Bullshit” he declares “bull.shit.”I fold my arms and lean in the couch a bit too harsh:“I’m not going.”Kakashi puts his mug down and warns me, voice low and kinda lethal:“You’ll go. It’s just a friend from your childhood that wants to talk to you. Nothing more. Nothing less.”I narrow my eyes at him and open my mouth to emphasize again that I’m not going when he interrupts me:“If you want to pull a <<cemetery>> again let those words out.”Oh God…Cemetery is…an episode,,, or better said the first mental breakdown I had around Kakashi when I realized it’s better to avoid having mental breakdowns with him by my side. I was 15 and not responding to his attempts to help me very well. At that time he decided it was better for my sanity if I’d visit my parents’ graves and I refused to go for weeks. I made a scene to Itachi and Shisui and kept making scenes to Kakashi too. Until he pushed me one day the same way as today and I told him to fuck off and he snapped, threw me with my face on the floor and my arms behind my back and told me how an “ungrateful irreconcilable heartless bastard” I was and how it was my fault I was crazy and my brother was suffering because I was stubborn and didn’t want to get well. After that I went to the cemetery and never told Itachi about this because I knew Kakashi was right.I squeeze my temples with my right hand:“What if I snap again?”“Tell me why are you afraid” he says, voice more gentle now.“He…he reminds me of my parents” I whisper.He shifts in the couch:“He reminds you of your parents because he was your friend by that time so all that pain comes back to you. He reminds you of a time when they were alive.”Something similar to a sob or a moan escapes my lips.“But you have to face that past the same way you faced their graves” he adds “and you shouldn’t think only about that. You missed Naruto for so long. He is the only friend you told me about in the first sessions you started talking. Then after you visited your parents grave you stopped talking about him. But is it his fault?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer “Of fucking course not. Put yourself in his shoes: he had a best friend that disappeared after some asses broke his leg. And now he found that friend again. It’s fucking obvious he wants to talk to you.”“What if I snap?” I ask again.He puts his hand on my shoulder, this time his grip is firm:“You won’t.”
And I really really want to believe you.

For the rest of the week I try not to think too much about meeting Naruto because I’m sure I’ll freak out again. It’s exactly as Kakashi said -  he is part of a past that I want to disappear. Or..I don’t even know if I want to forget the times when mum and dad were alive because they bring me too much pain or because I was not totally grateful for what I had back then. I was angry with my dad and I felt like he pushed me to do too many things that I didn’t want to do, all in the name of our family. And then, suddenly, one day I woke up and he was not there anymore and I knew I’d never have the chance to scream at him or to say that I’m sorry I was a brat.And then, beside all this fucked up reasons, there is Naruto himself that just popped up like a character in a game, reminding me that I used to be a child, a very happy one and that I even got involved in the crazy shit he was doing..and I liked it. And in the back of my mind I know I missed him and along the years my mind flew to him from time to time and I wondered if he’s ok, if he finished high school, if he fell in love or was able to walk again with that leg. And now I can receive all the answers that I want, asking him personally, but I can’t because I’m not as I used to be…On Sunday morning I wake up after only two hours of sleep and a full week in which I struggled with insomnia. Shisui and my brother are in a strange mood when I enter the kitchen. Actually, they’ve been in a strange mood since I’ve told them I met Naruto again.“Coffee?” Shisui asks and something giddy flashes in his big eyes.I groan and spit:“You’ve got to stop looking at me like that!”Both Shisui and my brother raise one eyebrow and pretend like they don’t know what I’m talking about.“He is looking like what, Sasuke?” Itachi asks with a grin.I sit at the table and glare at him:“Like I’m about to go to a date” I hiss.“Well, it is a date” Shisui sing-songs.My jaw clenched:“It’s.not.a.date” I snarl again.“Ok, fine, it’a a coffee date” Shisui snorts.I exhale loudly. Itachi nudges Shisui’s leg as a warning and turns to me:“He’s just joking, Sasuke.”“I’m not a big fan of this joke specifically” I observe with a voice less poisonous.“Well, you don’t have to be, but you can get along” Itachi replies.“He’s not even gay” I find myself blurting out, regretting every damn word the moment they resonate in the kitchen.A crooked smile starts forming on Itachi’s lips:“How do you know?”
Good job, Sasuke. You’re a freakin’ imbecile!!
Shisui hands me the coffee and toast and he sits near his fiancé, trying to look as unamused as he can. He’s failing. Because I got myself in this shitty topic I have to save myself too, so I answer:“He looked straight as an arrow” I declare.Itachi snorts and fixes me, a playful look in his eye. One that I haven’t seen in years. At least not directed to me:“You look straight as an arrow too and you’re gayer than Shisui”.At this, the respective “less gay Shisui” starts laughing hysterically, not being able to fight it and I rush out of the kitchen red in embarrassement as a tomato. Around 12.30 I’m already dressed up and already sweating like a pig. It’s probably the 10th time I reach for the phone to call Kakashi and tell him I’m a loser and I can’t do this. Or maybe I can get away if I just simply provoke him and…uhm…probably that is a very bad idea. I don’t want to pull another “cemetery” or worse.I take my car keys and hope I won’t crash it on the way there. The chaotic traffic helps me calm down because I’m thinking who the fuck gave a driving license to these fucking morons. When I finally get to Starbucks I’m more pissed off by the traffic than anxious that I’m meeting my dumbass childhood friend.The coffee shop is packed and I’m starting to regret my life choices. I’m trying to find a place when Naruto waves at me from a table. He’s wearing a blue T-shirt this time and the same pair of skinny jeans. His hair looks awful, ruffled in all directions.
Does he even know what a comb is?
Until I sit down the grin on his face has grown ten times bigger.“Are you high or something?” I mock him.He flinches and retorts:“I see you’re still an asshole.”“And you’re still charming as always” I reply.He barks a laugh:“Do you want something?”My eyes fix his drink. It’s a freakin’ Caramel Frappucino with a tone of whipped cream. I glare at it disgusted, imagining how much sugar that thing has. He notices and chuckles:“Don’t worry. I remember you hate sweet things.”“I can buy my own drink, Naruto.”He shrugs:“I know, but I asked you to come here. I can buy a coffee” and before I can refuse him again he already vanished to the counter.When he comes back I’m totally surprised by the fact he bought an Iced Americano for me. When he sees I’m ok with my drink a proud grin is plastered on his face. I scowl at him and he asks:“How have you been?”“Surviving” I answer.“I’m sorry for your parents” he blurts out.My stomach clenches immediately and I tell him, voice cold:“I don’t need your pity.”He frowns, then shakes his head:“It’s not out of pity. It’s just that people feel the need to say these words, even if they know it’s not useful. Silence and death are painful. People say something to fill a void.”“Are you a medium or something?” I mock him again.He scratches his nape:“I’ve studied communication and PR. I’ve learnt about these things.”It’s such an innocent and honest answer I feel bad mocking him. He notices my embarrassment and asks, eyes shining in curiosity:“You?”I narrow my eyes:“Me what?”“What have you studied?”“Law” I declare.He sips from that sugar bomb drink of his and snorts:“Of course. You always had this lawyer scowl”.“Tsch…”“So” he says, leaning in and wiggling his eyebrows “what about girlfriends? I’m sure you’re a Casanova.”
Is he serious? After 10 years what he wants to know it’s how many girlfriends I had?
I can very well avoid the question or simply tell him it’s not his business, but he looks so smug now I want to close his mouth. I fix him while he sips from his drinks again and drop the bomb:“If dating guys still makes me a Casanova, then I’m fine”.He chokes with his drink, eyes growing bigger:“Y-Y-You’re g-g-gay?” he stutters.I give him a self-satisfied look:“It’s that a problem?”His mouth easily hangs open and he starts fidgeting with the straw of his drink:“N-n-no. I just thought you…I..you were really cool back then and I thought you’ll just date a lot of girls.”I shrug:“You thought wrong.”“Yeeah” he whispers “you swing the…hmm..other way.”He looks so pensive saying that and so absorbed by the fact that I’m gay I can barely hide my grin. He notices that and blushes, then barks:“Are you laughing at me, asshole?!”I smirk and he takes the napkin form the table, crinkles it and throws it at me. I easily avoid the “bomb” and groan:“Are you still 12?”He laughs and leans in his chair:“Good old days” he says with a pensive smile on his face.I suddenly feel my chest tightening when he says that and the fact that in the coffee shop it’s a constant zoom it’s not making things better. Naruto probably notices that something it’s not ok because his voice sounds serious when he says:“Let’s take a walk” and he sits up and I automatically follow him.When the warm wind of May hits me outside the dizziness starts to fade away and I find the power to look at Naruto. He probably observed me patiently in the last minute because he asks:“Are you ok, Sasuke?”I try to compose myself, knowing that most probably I am now a terrible actor and tell him:“I just needed some air.”His eyes remain fixed in mine for a little bit too long, until he gazes away.“Do you want to take a walk in the park?”
Is it me or he looks so damn hopeful when he asks that?
“I…can’t, Naruto” I tell him “I have to go.” It’s too much for me for a day.He nods and picks up his phone:“Can I ask for your number? You know, maybe we’ll hang out more?”He gives me the phone and I scowl:“If you pester me I’ll change my number.”He barks a laugh and after he gives me a short call to know that it’s him we part ways.When I get back home both Itachi and Shisui are grinning at me:“So?” my brother asks eyelashes fluttering.“So what?” I spit.“Is he gay? Is he straight?” Shisui adds on a teasing voice.I throw my hands in the air:“How the fuck should I know?!”Shisui pushes:“Well, you could’ve asked..”I hiss at him:“I told him I’m gay and he didn’t say anything. And I don’t care if he’s gay, straight or whatever!”
I really don’t….right? right? Why am I questioning myself??

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next week I expect my phone to be flooded with stupid messages from Naruto. He used to do that on Yahoo Messenger when we were kids, but I guess even him grew up. I get no sign from him until Friday evening. I’m sitting on the sofa with Itachi and Shisui, talking about my new apartment that Itachi bought for me for Christmas and the fact that I insist to move there and come home only for the weekend, just to give them some space. My phone suddenly vibrates and I take it and stare at it:Naruto: “Sasuke!! How was your week?”
Why is my name followed by two exclamation marks? I can hear him screaming my name in that annoying tone of his…
Sasuke: “Disgusting.”  Because it was like that. 2 exams and 2 presentations.Naruto: “Nice. What are ya doin’ this weekend?”Nice? Nice was when I was 20 and fucking Suigetsu without thinking of the consequences. That was nice, not this week full of exams, migraines and shit.Sasuke : “Why do you care?”Shisui notices I don’t pay attention to the apartment discussion anymore and pokes Itachi on the side. They both turn to me.“What?!” I snap.“With who are you texting?” Itachi asks slyly.“Suigestu” I answer with a shrug.“Liar” my brother replies and turns to the TV.Naruto: “Maybe I wanna spend time with ya, asshole.”Sasuke: “Maybe I don’t want to spend time with you.”Naruto: “I’ve miss ya too, Sasuke.”I hiss at the last one and Shisui rises one eyebrow in curiosity. Itachi sing-songs:“He’s definitely NOT talking to Suigetsu. He never texted more than <<fuck you>> to that guy and then went and literally screwed him.”At this Shisui starts laughing and I hit my brother’s leg with mine. He starts cracking up too and I’m ready to tell him to fuck off when my phone vibrates again:Naruto: “Don’t ignore me, Saaaaasuuuukeeeeee!! So, Sunday, at Starbucks, 13, another coffee but we go to the park nearby.”Sasuke: “Are you drunk or something? I’m not going anywhere with you.”Naruto: “It’s settled, then. See ya Sunday.”I exhale exasperated, frowning at my phone. Shisui giggles and Itachi declares:“Just go out with him again, little brother. Maybe this time you find out if he’s gay or not.”I throw him a glare and text, fingers tapping violently the screen:Sasuke: “I’m not coming, Naruto.”Naruto: “You’re coming.”Sasuke: “I’m not!!!”Naruto: “Why are ya such an asshole?! I just want to talk to ya after all these years.”Sasuke: “I don’t want to talk to you.”Naruto: “Then why are ya replying my messages?”Sasuke: “Fuck off.”Naruto: “Sunday. 13. Starbucks.”Sasuke: “You are an absolute IDIOT.”I send the message and furiously ruffle my hair. Shisui and Itachi both snort and make a show out of my misery.“So, when it’s the next date?” Shisui asks, voice shaky because of laugh and eyelashes a flutter.I get up and go to my room.The next morning I’m in a good mood, which means I don’t want to kill anyone, so I decide it’s a good moment to go and buy a new pair of Vans, because my old ones started to look worn out. Besides, the mall it’s going to be less crowded at this early hour in a weekend morning.When I get to the mall, it’s exactly as I expected – you can breathe and walk around without people pushing or puffing in your nape.I enter the Vans shop and ask if they have my size for the basic black model. The lady at the counter is currently helping another customer…you’re not going to guess who that customer is:“Hi, asshole!”
Fucking shit!
I snarl at him, disgusted:“The fuck are you doing here?”He grins and declares:“I’m a buying customer, just like ya”.“These are okay, Kurenai-san” he says smiling at the lady. I look at what he picked – a pair of blue Vans with the white stripe, that matches his freaking blue eyes. Those eyes that I’m certain are bluer than they used to be because I wasn’t so mesmerized by them in the past. Forget I said that.The lady nods and turns to me:“I’ll bring you your size in a minute.”Naruto intervenes:“I’ll bring it for him, Kurenai-san.”“Are you sure?” the lady asks and Naruto waves his hand and heads to the storage room of the shop. Seeing my dumbfounded face the lady explains:“Naruto worked here in his first year of university. Now he is an intern in the PR department.”He comes back with a box and hands it to me:“There you go. EU 41, “Old Skool”, black”.I take the box from him and mumble a “Thanks”.“No prob” he retorts, face a playful grin. “So, do you want to eat?” he asks while we’re both paying our shoes.“Not with you” I snarl.He frowns and dramatically looks offended:“Why not?”“I can’t eat seeing your stupid face. The food won’t go down.”He snorts and nudges my elbow:“Com’on, Sasuke”.I glare at him but he doesn’t look away. His eyes flash in determination.“You’re not going to give up, are you?” I ask him.He beams proudly and retorts:“I’ll take this as a yes.”“I didn’t say yes” I reply while we’re out of the shop.He looks behind me and mumbles:“You’ll say now.”I turn and see his parents approaching us. As they get closer the lump in my stomach goes to my chest and stops there. They look exactly as I remember – his mum still has that ocean of red hair and that gentle look in her eyes and his dad it’s the carbon copy of his son now. Or maybe the other way around. When they recognize me Kushina-san doesn’t waver in giving me a strong hug and while I’m in her arms I try so hard not to freeze. I even move my hands a bit to return her gesture, out of politeness:“Sasuke-kun, you’re so handsome” she says, smiling from one ear to another.“You look good too, miss Uzumaki” I respond.She smiles again and shakes his head:“Ku-shi-na, Sasuke.”I think I blush a bit, remembering the same scene from years ago, when Naruto’s parents tried so hard to make me call them by their names and not succeeding until the moment we parted ways.His dad gives me a hug too and I notice that they still look happy in their marriage and that time hasn’t erased that sparkle that Minato has when he’s looking at his wife. Most probably in these years they gathered hundreds of beautiful memories, of laughs and jokes and moments that will keep them happy when they’ll get old. Maybe they’ll tell stories to their grandchildren, maybe they’ll embarrass Naruto when he’ll bring a girl at home. Maybe he already did that. If I would have to tell what I did in these last years I wouldn’t know what to say. I can’t make up a happy story. I have nothing to say about this part of past from my life. It was just a series of panic attacks and mental breakdowns, it was just the constant fight of overcoming one nightmare, then the next one and the next one and the next one. It was just me and my misery. Don’t get me wrong, I know people had it worse than I had, as Kakashi said to wake me up. But, to me this was the limit, this was the thing that I knew I couldn’t overcome. I don’t care others had it worse. The only thing I care is I can’t get past this. The moment I saw my brother in his knees and crying, the moment I realize that my parents were dead I knew I’ll never be normal again. And along the years Kakashi kept saying I am better, kept underlining the things that I can do now and I couldn’t do before, but somehow I know, with every year that passes I’m more and more broken.“I invited Sasuke for lunch, mum” Naruto says, waking me up from my thoughts.“Wonderful, dear” she says and then she turns to me “I opened a restaurant, Sasuke. We’d love if you’ll have lunch with us there.”I want so much to punch Naruto in the face and erase that stupid winning grin off, because this is such a bad moment for me. But instead, I find myself inhaling and trying to search in the depths of my chest the power to answer:“If you invite me like this I guess I can’t refuse.”Naruto punches the air in victory and his parents smile gently. While were heading to the parking lot he sing-songs:“I told you you’ll come” and he sticks his tongue at me.My blood pressure rises immediately and I growl:“I’ll kill you, you idiot.”He barks a laugh and texts me the address of their restaurant, because I came with my car and they came with theirs.“See ya there, asshole.”In the car I sit for 5 minutes before turning the engine on and heading to Kushina’s restaurant, “Ramen Ichiraku”.What the hell just happened? It is basically the third time I meet with Naruto in two weeks and every time he manages to make me do as he says. It’s the same unknown law that worked even when we were kids. He would decide he wants to do something with me, I would refuse, but I would end up doing the exact thing the idiot wanted anyway. It’s not like he kills my power of saying “no”, it’s like my refusal loses his effect completely. I sit my head on the wheel again trying to find an explanation…for…this. Nothing comes except the beginning of a migraine. I text my brother:Sasuke: “I’m having lunch at a restaurant. Don’t wait for me. Sorry.”Itachi: “With who?”Sasuke: “Not your business.”Itachi: “Ohhh My god!! You met Naruto, isn’t it?!”Judging by the “Ohhh My god” Shisui stole my brother’s phone. Again…Sasuke: “Just tell Itachi I’m not coming home for lunch…”Itachi: “Don’t get the dick yet, little brother. He’s not a whore like Suigetsu.”
And this is my brother, for sure…
Sasuke: “I TOLD YOU HE’S NOT GAY. AND I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM. AND WHAT I DID WITH SUIGETSU IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!”“Yes, yes. Have fun with your blondie, Sasuke.”I groan and hit my head on the wheel. The horn goes on and startles me.
Jesus Fucking Christ, Sasuke!!
15 minutes later I arrive at Ichiraku Ramen – from the outside it looks like a Japanese restaurant with the typical paper lanters and Japanese sliding doors, with windows. I can actually peek inside and the place is packed. Probably it’s pretty popular.Naruto comes out of nowhere near my car and nods in approval when I get out:“Nice Maserati, Sasuke”.I smirk at him and he points through the restaurant:“Let’s go inside. Mum and dad are waiting for you.”I follow him wondering how much this day will exhaust me emotionally, but my thoughts are cut abruptly the moment Naruto opens the door and the smell and the chatter inside hits me. A mix of condiments, ramen and meat hits my nostrils and warms my lungs and the noise made by the customers completes the picture. There is no place left at the counter or the tables: there are families with children, teenagers enjoying their weekend and here and there some lonely people who are talking to the chef that prepares the dishes in front of you. I’m not going to lie at this one- I’m completely taking aback by the atmosphere, the coziness of the place and the fact that it is crowded but I don’t feel suffocated at all.The windows let the sunlight illuminate the place and give the pale orange walls a honey like consistency. My eyes travel around them, because there are paintings everywhere with Japanese traditional sceneries, from the Fuji Mountain in spring, to gheishas standing by a lake, winter sceneries or matsuri fragments. The paintings have different dimensions and they are scattered over the walls like a collage. Seeing how immersed I am in the interior design Naruto explains:“My mum has a friend in Japan who is a painter. She made everything.”My eyes turn to him and I follow him as he goes near the counter and greets the chef, who is definitely Japanese. Naruto greets him in English, but I can hear Minato talking to him in Japanese. Suddenly, a memory from the past hits me: Naruto with a hoodie that had a Japanese quote on it, me mocking him and him responding by calling me an asshole in Japanese. I follow Naruto as he opens a door on the left of the counter and goes outside the noise of the restaurant. We go through a small hallway and then enter in another room, that offers a cute view on a small Japanese garden. A tiny sakura tree is there in bloom. This room has that kind of small table where you have to sit on the ground to eat and a TV. I’m pretty sure this is not part of the restaurant, because there are all sort of other stuff stored on the shelves around the walls. Kushina comes in from another door with two glasses of juice and puts them on the table:“Sasuke, the tea will be ready soon, but by then I just brought you some orange juice. Hope is ok.”I smile and wave my hand a bit:“It’s ok, Kushina-san.”“So, what do you want to eat? I can bring you a menu of you want. Teuchi-san, our chef, will be glad to prepare you anything you want.”I’m ready to open my mouth and answer when Naruto speaks:“He wants fresh tomato soup, mum. And Miso ramen for me, please.”She nods and vanishes out of the room. I give him a very long look. He raises his eyebrows:“What?! Don’t you like fresh tomato soup?”I still stare at him and answer:“I like it, but how do you know that? I’ve never told you I like fresh tomato soup.”He smirks:“You haven’t, which proves how big of an asshole you are, but your brother did.”I frown, confused:“You’ve met my brother?!”He rolls his eyes and chuckles a bit:“No, Sasuke. He told me you like fresh tomato soup when you had appendicitis back in the days. Remember?”…I remember, but I still give him a long look while I’m processing the information: Naruto actually remembers something that my brother told him almost 9 years ago. It’s such an insignificant detail that anyone would forget about their childhood friend if they were to be separated like us. But Naruto kept that detail untouched in his memory. I shake my head and sit at the table, trying to compose myself:“Are your parents Japanese?” I ask, suddenly remembering how Minato was speaking in Japanese with their chef.Naruto gives me a lopsided smile and scratches his nape:“Japanese – Americans.”“You’ve never mentioned this before” I observe.“You’ve never asked” he retorts.I drink a bit of juice and remind him the Erwin hoodie scene:“This is how you knew what Erwin was saying?”He seems confused at first, not being able to recall our past dialogue, then his eyes widen and he starts laughing:“Ahhh, my old <<who is the enemy>> hoodie. Yeah, the amount of Japanese I knew back then was definitely bigger than what I know right now.”“You knew Japanese” I state. He nods as it would be something so normal and I ask:“Did you learn it because of your parents?”His eyes scan my face then turn to the window. A bird flies from the sakura tree and his blue orbs follow it. He returns to me:“We lived in Japan before I came here that year when we met.”“You’ve never told me that either” I realize I sound offended now.He shrugs and replies mimicking my tone:“Again, you’ve never asked.”And he is right. I’ve never asked because I’ve never cared before. I was spending time with Naruto, but I was very much connected to the present. It never occurred to me that maybe the reason he moved schools must have been important to him or whatever…“Why did you leave?” I blurt, without thinking much…or maybe I’m thinking too much about how I ignored his past when we were kids.He tilts his head to the left and responds with another question:“Do you really want to know or it’s just you’re way of being polite?”I open my mouth to tell him that if he doesn’t want to talk it’s the same for me (it’s not), but the door opens and his parents come in, his mum holding a tray with our food. It smells delicious and the flavors tickle my senses.“Food is heeeree” Kushina sing-songs, all a smile and Minato chuckles:“Sorry, Sasuke. Hope you remember how excited are Uzumakis when it’s time for food.”I smile at him and nod. He sits near me and Kushina on the other side of the table near her son. She starts distributing our bowls and the tomato soup makes me drool internally. We start digging in and for a while it’s silence, except ramen slurping. Then Minato finally starts:“Sasuke, we haven’t had the chance to tell you how sorry we are for your parents. It was unfortunate indeed.”His face looks sad. It’s no pity there, just plain sadness and I think I understand what Naruto meant when he said people feel the need to fill the void with something. I move my head as a sign that I get the message and Kushina adds:“Sorry, we won’t be speaking about this again. But tell us, how’s your brother?”I feel relieved at the sudden change in topic and shrug:“He’s fine. He got engaged.”Naruto’s parents suddenly get excited:“Waaaa, that’s nice. Who’s the lucky girl?”I want to open my mouth and but stop in my tracks, the discussion was so innocent that I forgot my brother is engaged with a man…how do I bring this up? Naruto frowns seeing I’ve got quiet and his parents are watching me curiously, waiting for an answer. I grimace a bit and let the truth out:“He’s a man….” a pause “my brother is engaged to a man."Another second of deep silence passes and then both of Naruto’s parents smile widely. Minato actually chuckles and adds:“That’s unexpected, but I’m happy for him. When is the wedding?”I give him a lopsided smile:“Honestly I don’t know. I think they’ll stay like this forever. They’ve been dating since we left.”Kushina seems impressed:“That’s a lot. Hope they’ll be happy, Sasuke” she finishes, eyes glistening with warm.For the entire conversation Naruto stayed silent. Now his blue eyes simply observe me and I can’t read his reaction in any way. He used to be so transparent…. We talk about other small things as my studies and stuff and then Naruto’s parents are leaving, telling us they have things to do. Kushina suggest us to go in the garden to enjoy our tea and her son obeys.Out in the garden the sun rays are warming my skin. Naruto goes and sits directly on the grass under the sakura tree, but throws me a small picnic blanket, pointing:“I don’t want you to ruin your leather pants.”I accept it silently and he hands me the tea mug, then leans on the sakura’s tree trunk and sighs in pleasure as the sun rays are turning his blonde hair in liquid gold.“Fourth year of university, huh?” he says, eyes still shut and head tilted towards the sun:“Yeah…you’ve graduated, right?”“Yeah, I’m in my first year of master now.”“Never imagined you’d go to master too.”He opens his eyes and fixes me with a playful grin:“Surprised?”My mouth twists:“Not at all. It’s just you were a dumbass and I thought you’ll go to PE school or something.”He snorts loudly and approves, running his fingers through his blond locks:“Actually, you’re very close to the truth. I wanted at a certain point to do that, but I changed my mind…fortunately.”We sit in silence a bit more. The spring delicate wind ruffles the sakura tree’s flowers and some pink petals fall in Naruto’s hair and shoulders like snowflakes.“Why did you leave Japan, Naruto?”His blue orbs bore on mine again. He clears his throat and answers, voice a little bit cold, serious:“My dad lost the company he had there. We had to move.”It takes me two or three seconds to let that sink in, then a strong frozen shiver settles in my bones and my dad’s silent voice echoes in my mind “Namikaze INC.”…Naruto’s mum saying his dad is not an Uzumaki, but a Namikaze…How come my dad knew about Namikaze INC? Is it the same company?“Are you ok, Sasuke?” Naruto asks, putting a hand on my shoulder “you’ve turned white.”I try to compose myself and reply him:“I think I need to go home.”He gets up and follows me as I stretch a bit:“I s’pose we won’t meet tomorrow again.”“No, but maybe next week” I tell him, without thinking much. The only thing I know is I need to go home and talk to Itachi. The Namikaze name bangs in my ears and makes me itch, as if an unknown power it’s telling me this is important.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When I get home that afternoon I piss my pants and avoid asking my brother what I wanted to ask and then more days pass until I summon my courage to do it. I don’t know why I am scared, but I guess it’s related to the fact that I am batshit crazy…On Friday evening, after another bloody week at University I find my brother home alone. He’s watching Netflix when I’m entering the living room.“Where’s Shisui?” I ask, sitting near him.“Out for pizza. Do you want me to call him and tell him to buy something for you?” he says, paying attention to the TV screen.“No”.I inhale and exhale and he turns his head to me, eyes scanning my face:“Something wrong?”“No…yeah” I sigh exasperated by my own mind.. “I don’t know” I finally confess.He pauses whatever he was watching and asks patiently:“Can I help?”I avoid his gaze, fixing my socks and the fluffy black and red rug before the couch:“You can, I just don’t know how to bring this up” I say, voice a combination between an innocent whisper and a growl.“You should just blurt that out, the same way you did when we were kids. I guess it’s easier that way” I hear him saying in that tone that could make anyone feel at ease.I clench and unclench my fists and decide to go by the strategy of letting shit out without thinking:“Namikaze INC” is the only thing I say, before I finally find the courage to look him in the eye.He seems surprised, then he frowns:“Why are you suddenly interested in Namikaze INC?” he responds in the same calm tone.“Is Naruto’s dad the owner?”Itachi doesn’t move, almost I feel like he doesn’t breathe. In the deep silence that settles in the room I think I can hear him deciding if he can answer my question or not. Partly, I know why he hesitates – most probably it’s related to work. Along the years I know he worked in the team that investigated my parents death and he avoided telling me a lot of stuff. I know he wants to protect me, he raised me, I can get that. Still, sometimes I hate that he’s keeping things away from me. I want to know, I need to know.His voice sounds so much different when he speaks again:“Yes, Minato Namikaze was the owner.”“Dad was talking about Namikaze INC at a certain point…why?”He snaps his fingers, a breath:“Namikaze INC signed at a certain point a partnership with Konoha INC. Dad wanted an honest partner in Japan and at that time Namikaze INC was more and more popular. The partnership with them worked for two or three years. Then for some reason Minato’s shareholders voted against him and he lost the company. Someone else took it and tried to convince dad to accept a merge.”He stops, his onyx eyes suddenly get heavier:“If I’ll keep going from now on, Sasuke, you’ll have to keep this a secret. I could lose my job because of this.”I swallow and nod. He keeps going:“Before dad died, I know the agreement for the merge was not signed. I don’t know what dad wanted to do, but what I know it’s that now Namikaze INC doesn’t exist anymore and the business had been swallowed up by Konona INC.”“You said someone took over the company..who?”He looks away:“That, I can’t tell you.”I huff:“You can’t be serious..”He rubs his temples:“I can. This is all I can tell you.”
Wow, he told me soo much..half a shit and nothing…
I snap:“Yeah, I’m still a kid for you. I don’t have the right to know.”He turns to me, voice tensed:“It’s not something that you need to know. It will do no good to you.”“To hell with that, Itachi! If this has something to do with mum and dad I need to know.”Anger flashes in his eyes:“Sasuke” he warns me. This is it, I know I’ll get nothing from him from now on. Blood starts boiling in me:“This is the proof that to you I indeed look like someone who is too damn crazy and fucked up to accept the truth or whatever you know more about this whole thing” I spit before vanishing out of the room and slamming the door of my bedroom.And of course during the night I have a nightmare and wake up screaming in terror and drenched  in sweat and Itachi, whom I accused as an imbecile I am, is hugging me tight and whispering soothing words in my ears. I don’t even know how he got me in his arms. I feel tears running down my face and I just hide myself in his chest. He smells exactly as he use to smell when we were kids – like mint and something sweet, that I can’t describe. I tried once to use his shower gel and cologne, but it doesn’t smell the same on my skin. When my breaths start to come back to normal I mumble in is chest:“I’m sorry for what I said”.I can’t be mad with Itachi - he is everything I have left and in this years he never ever did something to hurt me. I’m the one who acted like a brat.“It’s ok” he says tracing soothing circles on my back. He did the same when I was 5 or 6 and having nightmares.“It’s just to me you are still my little brother, no matter how many years pass. And I know this tragedy destroyed you. I know and I can’t change that, but at least I want to stop any other thing that might hurt you from now on. Because I am the older one and because I always promised mum and dad I will take care of you…” His voice is trembling and I think he’s crying. I move a bit and hug him too, even if I don’t like it very much..but I know he needs that:“I know..but..if you’ll find who murdered our parents..”“I’ll tell you” he finishes in a steady voice. The next Monday I find myself again in Kakashi’s office.“Tell me again why did you fight with Itachi?” he says, flipping through something that looks like an album.“He didn’t want to tell me things.”His dark eyes give me an ironic look:“Be more specific, Sasuke.”I glare at him:“Things about someone who took over a company that was related to my dad’s.”“Aha…” he mumbles, still immersed in that thing he’s holding…”why do you think he avoids telling you stuff?” he adds.“He wants to protect me” I state.He nods, then ignores that album or whatever and his attention is back to me:“Yes, that and something else. Beside the emotional shit yada yada” he rolls his eyes Very good therapist he is…“there is something called conflict of interest. Normally, your brother should never work on a case in which he is directly involved. Still, they allowed him to do this because Shisui is a very good agent and they trust him. Simply put” he says getting up to come closer to me ”if Itachi tells you stuff and you do something stupid he drags Shisui down too.”He hands me the album and taps a group picture specifically. I stare at it, not understanding at first the meaning of it. Then I notice Kakashi is in the picture, along with Itachi, Shisui and other agents.“Why are you showing me this?” I ask him.His eyes flash with something:“I suppose you already found your brother in the picture. It’s a group picture of the ANBU made three or four years ago. Now, look near your brother” he says and my eyes search for the faces. I don’t know who they are. It’s a guy with orangey hair and a stupid grin on his face, a punk girl with a piercing in her lip and some redhead with blue eyes. I shrug:“I don’t know who they are.”“Well, what if I tell you the redhead’s family name is Uzumaki?”I stop moving. Kakashi’s eyes bore into mine and for a while he doesn’t move either. Then, suddenly he winks at me and takes the album away:“We’ve never had this discussion, but something tells me you know now where you should look for answers.”When I get out of Kakashi’s office I’m still taken aback and still wondering if I read the situation well. He scolded me for fighting my brother, but, still, for some reason, he didn’t stop me to search for answers. He even showed me where I should find them and I am pretty much sure he risked his job with this, but knowing Kakashi he probably gives zero fucks.I reach for my phone and tap a message:Sasuke: “Hi, idiot. What are you doing this weekend?”Naruto’s answers comes back in a second:Naruto: “Miss me? ;)”Sasuke: “I asked you something.”Naruto: “I’ll be all yours in weekend if you missed me that much.”Sasuke: “Fuck off.”Naruto: “Don’t be an asshole, I was jokin’. What do you want to do?”Sasuke: “I need to talk to you.”Naruto: “Coffee then? You kno’ where to find me. Saturday. 13.”
Remember when I said I hate Kakashi? For some reason I don’t hate him that much in the last time…

The rest of the week is hell, but at least it’s the last week of this school year and I couldn’t be more happy about it. The finals kick in as they always do – you get out of the exam room and you’re wondering why you chose law school. Now, it’s not like I haven’t studied, but sometimes our teachers pick for the exams the stupidest case studies and by the time you finish writing your answer, you already think you should cross everything and offer a different approach.“How was it, Sasuke?” Asuma-sensei, our criminal law teacher asks me when I give him my paper at the end of the exam. I shrug:“Acceptable, I guess..”.He barks a laugh and shakes his head:“Accurate description as always. Do you want me to give a detailed feedback, as last year?”He is the only teacher from this school who offers to do that if you ask him and the only whom I respect and talk to more often.“If it’s not a problem” I answer. He smiles:“No, it’s not. Have a nice summer, Sasuke!”I smirk:“You too, sensei.”On the hallway I meet with Suigetsu and Karin and we head for a last lunch at the university cafeteria.“Where’s Jūgo?” Karin asks, hair a bit messier than usual. I guess she pulled out her hair during the exam. She always does that when she’s focusing too much or when she knows she bombed the exam. I wonder which one was this time.“He was late with the paper for civil law. He talks with Kotetsu-sensei..pretty sure the motherfucker won’t look the other way” Suigetsu spits. He’s wearing a dark purple T-shirt and black leather pants and I swear I caught Karin ogling his ass once or twice. Most probably they are really hooking up. Which I don’t mind, by the way…it’s just something that gets into your eye even if you close it…“So it’s just us for lunch” Karin concludes and Suigetsu grabs her by the neck, invading her personal space and wiggling his eyebrows:“Disappointed, love?”Karin shoves him aside and mumbles “don’t be a dick”, then gives me a side glance. I growl:“Don’t look at me like that, Karin. I don’t care if you’re dating, but keep the sappy shit away from my eyes. I really want to eat lunch, not to fight the urge of throwing up.”Suigetsu snickers and comments:“Do you have something shoved in your ass again?”Karin slaps him over the nape. He rubs the place and frowns at her.“Don’t be an idiot again” she adds, her crimson-brown eyes throwing fire.“I’m not an idiot, but he’s moody again.”“Then let him be moody” Karin retorts.I sigh:“I’m not moody.”“Then the hell is wrong with ya?!” Suigetsu snarls and this time he’s really annoyed. I can tell by the way his voice gets a different pitch, a snarky one.We get into the cafeteria and I avoid answering. Karin keeps warning him to shut his mouth and they start bickering at each other. When we sit down at the table, Suigetsu already received three or four punches and Karin finished her long list of obscenities. Now they are just sitting in silence, glancing at each other in a mix of hostility and some sort of amusement.“Do you want to go to a movie this weekend?” Karin asks, munching her tuna sandwich “ you know, before I head back home?”She and Suigetsu are leaving two hours away from the city and during summer they always go back home. She fixes me, waiting for an answer:“I can come only on Sunday, although I don’t know if I want to stay two hours in a smelly movie theater..” I tell her.Suigetsu narrows his eyes:“What are you doin’ on Saturday?”“I’m just busy” I say with indifference.He sips from his coke, his violet like eyes measuring me:“You have a date” he observes amused.I stop in my tracks. Why the fuck everyone thinks I’m dating Naruto?! The guy is straight as an arrow and I’d definitely NOT date that idiot ever!!Karin moves her eyes from him to me and back again and adds:“Yep. He has a date.”I growl at both of them, eyes flashing with anger:“I don’t have a date.”Suigetsu ignores me and pushes:“Who is he?”I rub my temples and decide to ignore him, but he just stares at me, challenging me to answer. Beside the annoyance of the moment, I have to admit I slept with him thanks to that defiant look in his eyes and the way he talked about life and sex and whatever with this attitude of acceptance and a sort of ignorance. “Life’s a bitch and then you die” he told me once “so I’m a bitch to life too” he added, stretching his thin naked form and searching innocently from his boxers after we’ve slept together. He would then go in the small kitchen of his apartment and make me an iced Americano so strong that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep during the night. When I would scold him the next day he would answer with a smirk “You couldn’t forget me, that’s why you didn’t sleep, Sasuke”. I sigh and state:“I am not dating him, but he is a childhood friend.”“Really?” Karin says “ I’ve never heard you talking about childhood friends.”Suigetsu gives her a side glance. She didn’t, but he did. From them he is the only one to whom I’ve mentioned Naruto once or twice when he would pester me with questions about my past. He looks me into the eye and then I can see how he’s figuring out that the person I’m talking about is Naruto. Don’t ask me where he finds the answer, but I can see he does. The confirmation comes when I go to the bathroom and he follows:“So you found your blondie again” he says, washing his hands and fixing my reflection in the mirror.I roll my eyes:“You’re nosy again” I declare.He snorts, then turns to me:“Me and Karin, this is bothering you?”I raise an eyebrow ironically:“If it would bother me would you care?”He arranges the belt of his leather pants and says:“Maybe. I don’t know, babe.”I snort when I heard how he called me. “Babe” is not his way of claiming me or underlining that we had some sort of friends for benefits relationship. He’s not that kind of guy and what happened between us happened because we both wanted. So, “babe” for him is not like a pet name, is more like a sign of affection. Like my brother calls me “little brother” or Shisui sometimes tells me “Sas” or even the “you little shit” Kakashi spits sometimes when we argue but we both now it’s not serious. Even if he is a very unorthodox person, deep in his heart Suigetsu is a very caring person. He doesn’t know how to be discreet or when to shut up, but still he cares. It’s like he proves he is not entirely moral, but at least he is fair. I guess this is why, beside the sleeping together thing I perceived him along the years as a friend, more than I perceived Karin or even Jūgo.“Are you being melancholic?” I mock him again.He purses his lips and says:“You are…hmm..I guess I’m fond of you. And you had a fucked up life. I don’ wanna throw more shit in it.”I shake my head:“Just date Karin if you like her, you imbecile. I don’t care.”He snorts and lean in, his spicy perfume hitting my nostrils:“Meaning in your language <<we’re good Suigetsu, I’ll keep spending time with you even if we don’t fuck anymore>>” and he finishes by giving me a sloppy peck on the cheek.I immediately wipe myself and growl at him:“Go to hell.”He starts laughing again and sing-songs while he gets out of the bathroom:“We’ll meet there too, then.”After lunch we part ways, not without more snarky comments from Suigetsu and a very uncomfortable hug from Karin. Saturday I wait for Naruto in the parking lot. I’m scrolling through my phone when he knocks on my window and I open the door. He wears a black oversized T-shirt and black jeans. The only splash of colour on his outfit is his blue Vans, that pair he bought when I met him. He notices I stare at him an throws me a half irritated “what?!”.I comment:“You’re not like a walking rainbow anymore.”“Yeah, I decided I need to be a vampire like ya today.”My eyebrows lift:“You’re jokes are worse than before.”He gives me a dramatic affected look and snickers:“I’m sorry I’m not good enough for your Majesty, Prince Uchiha.”I roll my eyes and he nudges me in the elbow:“What do ya want to drink?”“I told you I can buy my own coffee before.”“I think I should tell ya that if someone offers to buy ya a coffee ya should just say yes.”“It’s the second coffee you buy for me. I don’t want to own anything to an idiot like you” I retort.“Asshole” he answers and we enter Starbucks together. After we buy our coffees he suggests to go to the nearby park and take a walk and I don’t refuse because the coffee shop is overcrowded and I sweated a tone only waiting for that drink.In the park we walk in silence for a while and I notice how long his legs seem in skinny jeans. The sunrays that peek through the branches of the trees at times make his hair sparkle in gold, then back to normal blond, then gold again. Families are walking around and from time to time a kid on a bike races near us. It’s a buzz all around but it relaxes me, just like the noise in Kushina’s restaurant. After a while Naruto starts fumbling with the pockets of his jeans:“So, what did you want to talk about?”“We should sit somewhere” I suggest and he points a place under a very old tree. He goes there and sits on the grass. Luckily, I wear an old pair of jeans so I just sit directly on the grass too. I don’t know what is with this guy and nature, but whatever… Our legs are aligned and both end in Vans – blue for him, black for me. I notice he stares at the same thing I do:“You’re weird Sasuke, what’s the thing you want to talk about?”He faces me and in the soft light of May his eyes look ablaze and I’m really thinking I hit my head or something because every time I meet him I’m more and more fascinated with them. I inhale deeply and speak:“Will you forget the years that separate us and talk to me as if I’m still your friend?”He blinks, taken by surprise, then immediately recomposes himself and answers in a gentle tone:“You’re still my friend no matter how many years separate us.”I move my eyes away from his burning gaze and fix my shoes:“Who took the company away from your father?”He clears his throat:“So it was about that….why do you ask?”“Your dad was a partner of mine at a certain point” I declare and look at him again. He seems very serious and he adds:“I know.”
I bet he knows more than I do. He gives me that vibe.
“It’s about my parents…death” I keep going and his forehead creases a bit.“Someone did something and convinced the other shareholders to take dad out” he replies my previous question.“That.. I know. But do you know who that person is?”He pulls a face and runs his fingers through his hair, making it messier than it is:“I know, but I’m not supposed to tell” he confesses.“Tsch…” I have to admit I’m pissed off that people know more than I do, but no one tells me shit…“Will you keep this between us or you’ll go and tell the media or something?” he asks in a tone that sounds like he’s scolding me.My eyes flash at him and I snarl:“Do I look like a retarded to you?!”He makes a sassy movement with his eyes and spits:“Asshole, I’m tellin’ this to ya because what I know it’s not public”.I clench my jaw and state:“I’ll keep this for me. I’m not even going to tell Itachi.”He glances at me as if there would be a possibility he could read my mind like this and when he decides I’m going to keep the secret he speaks:“It was my dad’s partner at that time. His name was Obito….” He hesitates and adds “Uchiha.”I jolt:“What?”He nods and speaks in a cold voice:“It’s as I said. You heard well. An Uchiha took over Namikaze INC.”I ruffle my hair nervously and my pulse starts to ring in my ear and I’m thinking I shouldn’t have had that coffee.“I don’t know him” I say and he shrugs:“I didn’t suppose you did.”“Since when do you know this?”He scratches his nape:“Since I was 18…uhm…” he seems like he’s having another internal dialogue if he should add things or not and then he gives up and blurts out “the ANBU found this out years after we came here.”So Kakashi was right. That Uzumaki from the ANBU is related to Naruto and Naruto might actually be aware that my brother works there too.“You know Itachi is part of the ANBU too, right?”He gives me a playful lopsided smile:“Yep. My second cousin told me that. He also told me about dad and stuff.”I bring my knees to my chest and rest my head there:“Do you think this might have a connection to my parents’ death?”He goes silent for a bit and the only think I can hear is his steady breath, the way the warm wind ruffles the leaves, children laughter and dogs barking. When he speaks again his voice has a very pensive tone. When I watch him he looks lost and I’ve never seen him like this. He shrugs:“I don’t know. But what I can tell ya about this is that both investigations moved very slow from the beginning. My dad wanted to give up ours, but Nagato insisted along the years to keep going.”“Nagato is your cousin?”“Yeah, I stayed with him in high school.”“You said he told you about Obito.”He grimaces:“Yeah, that…and…something else.”I frown:“Something else?”He groans and fixes me:“I swear Nagato will kill me if he finds this out, but since I know how it is to want to find out the truth I’m just gonna tell ya, you asshole…I met Obito. When I was 18.”“What?”“He searched for me and gave me something. But since then Nagato didn’t tell me more. He doesn’t want me to know, but I feel like things are moving.”“Obito is not in jail?”He snorts:“Things would be easier if he’d be. No, he always runs away…and somehow they can’t catch him. Motherfucker..”.He punches the air with his leg and runs his fingers through his hair again:“Do you think your parents were murdered?”A shiver runs through my spine. No one, beside Itachi and me said this out loud. For some reason coming from Naruto’s mouth this reality sounds scarier than ever. Still, I find the power to speak:“Yes.”“And this fucker, Madara Uchiha, did he take the company away from ya? Wasn’t your brother s’pposed to inherit it?”An angry look is plastered over his face, just like when we were kids and he was getting fired up. It’s the same expression, but this time I can’t mock him. Instead, there is something boiling in my stomach when I see him like that.“We don’t know how he took it, but he did.”“He is dangerous” he says. It’s not a question anymore, it’s a statement “this is why you disappeared” he adds, turning to me again.I nod.“You want to find out more?” he says.I exhale loudly:“Of course I want, but Itachi will tell me shit.”He groans:“No, you asshole, I’m not talking about going as a good kid you are and asking your brother or the official ANBU office…”My eyes grow a bit:“Then the hell do you want to do? Do you think this is primary school and if you break into the principal office you’ll get away with detention and that’s all?!”He shakes his head in exasperation:“No, mister Responsibility, I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about things that can still be considered legal, still it can help us to find out more.”“How the fuck do you know what is legal or not?” I mock him.He snorts and gives me a look:“This is why you’re here, right?”I shrug:“Ohhh nooo, you’re not going to drag me in this like you did when we were kids.”He booms a guffaw of a laugh and declares:“I’ve never dragged you when we were kids. You came along on your own and you’ll most probably do it now too, otherwise you wouldn’t have called me.”I stare at him. This guy is more obnoxious and idiot than ever. I’m a LAW student. I’m not getting in this shitty dirty thing with him. Not even in a million of years. I’ll definitely ignore the way my blood starts to boil. DEFINITELY!

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I DEFINITELY cannot ignore this..after a week I find myself sending a very humiliating message to Naruto:Sasuke: “I basically hate you so much that no words in the world could describe the feeling…for that thing we talked about in the park - do you have a plan?”It’s a Monday with a blinding sun and air that smells like summer and sun lotion. I stare at the white ceiling in my apartment, waiting for the answer to come. My pulse is irritating me, booming in my temples and standing as the painful evidence that I am excited for this shit. If this is not the proof I am batshit crazy I don’t know what it is. The message comes one minute later:Naruto: “I know ya love me so much you can’t describe it in words. Don’t need to confess, we’ve known each other for so long. Ha ha! Told you you’re gonna jump in this. Yeah, I have a plan, but you’ll have to honor me with your presence if ya want to hear it. *wink wink*”Sasuke: “Go to hell, Naruto!”Naruto: “Yeah, yeah, do you remember my old address? My ol’men are waiting for ya Sunday for a barbecue. Sorry for stealing weekends all the time, but on weekdays they’re busy with the restaurant.”Sasuke: “I’m not coming.”Naruto: “I’ll tell dad you said that.”Sasuke: “Fuck you.”Naruto: “Since when ya have such a dirty mouth?”Sasuke: “Since I suck dicks.”Naruto: “Mother of Jesus, Sasuke. I spilled my coffee, you asshole!!! If you don’t come on Sunday I’ll show my dad your last message.”I contemplate for a second if the fact that Minato would see that would do any harm to me…I start to feel hot and realise I’m blushing, so there you go, if I’m ashamed I need to go to this barbecue stuff. If I say no: first, Naruto won’t tell me his plan, second, he’ll embarrass me in front of his dad and I’ll never be able to look Minato in the eye again…so yeah:Sasuke: “I despise you.”Naruto: “Which means you’ll be here on Sunday, around 14.”Sasuke: “I still despise you.”I groan and sit up in my bed, staring around the room. One month ago I was living my life between nightmares, weird dreams, law school and a few comfortable moments with a few comfortable people. Now I feel like I’m living upside down and it’s Naruto’s fault. How the hell he manages to shake someone existence in such a way is still a mystery to me. And besides, I stare at his messages again, does he even realize he is flirting with a gay?! I groan again, getting up and heading to the kitchen to make myself a coffee.The entire house has this minimalist style, with black and white furniture and delicate rugs. Itachi picked everything for me. When I decided to move in, the only thing I had to do was to bring my clothes and my books. Nothing more. The apartment is closer to my university than Shisui’s house, in a very fancy neighborhood and actually “steals” two floors of the building it’s in. When you enter you basically get into a very big open space with the living room and the kitchen connected. The entire left wall is made of windows, so right now it looks very bright and calming, thanks to the summer sun.The kitchen counter, fridge, sink and stuff are in the left corner of the first floor and to the right there are stairs that lead to the second. There is just my bedroom and the bathroom. It’s not that much..or maybe it is, I don’t know. But I feel like moving here it’s good for Shisui and Itachi. They need some time alone and with me there and my stupid dreams they can’t live their own lives. However, I promised them I’ll come back home in weekend…and now I need to tell them I don’t because: Naruto.I sit on the sofa, turn the TV on although I know I’m not going to pay attention to it and grab my phone. I sip on the coffee and mentally get ready for an embarrassing discussion with Itachi..or better said, judging by the way Shisui always steals his phone, a conference with both of them:Sasuke: “Morning! I’m not coming home this weekend. Sorry.”Itachi:“Morning! Why?”Sasuke: “I need to be somewhere on Sunday.”Itachi: “Daaaaaateeee wiiith Naaaaaruuuuttooooooo”
This is definitely Shisui.
I growl:Sasuke: “I’m telling you this the last time: HE IS NOT GAY.”Itachi: “We’re reminding you you haven’t asked him, so you don’t know.”Sasuke: “Even if he was, I wouldn’t date him. Period.”Itachi: “Bullshit. Bull.shit.”
And this is Itachi.
Sasuke: “You two are hopeless.”Itachi: “Have fun on Sunday, little brother.”I tap my forehead with my fingers. How did I get here?
 
For the rest of the week I just arrange my stuff around the apartment and read, read, read because during the school year I need to read school and law stuff, and I like that too, but sometimes I want a break from all that shit. During nights I fall asleep afraid that I might have another nightmare, but I’m spared of that. Instead, I dream that man with no face again, just this time we’re on a beach in winter and he kisses me again. It’s so weird because in real life I should shove him aside or refuse to kiss him like that, in that slow and meaningful way. But in the dream it’s like I am a different person, I lean into him and when his lips touch mine I feel some sort of organic peace in my heart and it’s so powerful that I realise it can’t be real. When I wake up in the morning I kinda mock my dream self: there is no way you could feel that peace in reality, you moron..On Sunday morning the sun is burning literally and wonder if the Uzumakis are going to keep us in their backyard for the barbecue..because if they do that I’ll need sunscreen… When 12.30 hits in it finds me before my clothes, trying to pick up something to wear. Shorts? Linen pants? Jeans? After 10 minutes of staring I’m starting to get annoyed with myself and  without thinking grab my phone and text Kakashi:Sasuke: “The hell you wear to a barbecue??”Kakashi: “Are you having an emotional breakdown because you don’t know what to wear?”Sasuke: “No, I texted because I’ve fucking missed you, Freud. Of course I texted because I’m on the verge of an emotional breakdown…I’m annoyed with myself because I don’t know what to wear.”Kakashi: “Calm down, Drama Queen. Breathe. Where is the barbecue?”Sasuke: “In his backyard, I guess..”Kakashi: “Aaaa, you’re meeting Naruto. Well, if it is in his backyard go for shorts and a T-shirt. Let the vampire skin at home, Sasuke or you’ll burn in the sun.”Sasuke: “Fuck you and you’re terrible jokes.”Kakashi: “I think you fucking me would be interesting, but I don’t swing that way.”I almost drop the phone at the last one. Kakashi is the most disgusting person I know, still he brainwashed me to like him somehow.I go back in front of my closet and pick up a pair of black knee length shorts and a white simple T-shirt. Around one and a half I get in my car, otherwise I’ll be terribly late.Naruto’s neighborhood looks so much different than years ago. There are villas everywhere now and even their house has a new floor. Probably they managed to expand the house in the last years. I knock on the door and a dog starts barking and then I hear Naruto’s clear voice telling him to shut up and be a good boy. He opens the door and my breath hitches a bit. The only thought that comes into my mind is that Naruto looks like that early June day with his blond ruffled hair, his incredible blue eyes and a yellow oversized T-shirt.
The hell is wrong with me?!
I’ve been probably staring at him in the last two minutes, but I notice he’s staring too.“You’re so white..ya should stay more in the sun” he observes with a lopsided smile.I frown and tease him:“You’re giving me now advice about my skin tone?”He blinks and when he finally senses the irony in my voice he snaps:“Asshole. Com’ in.”I enter the house and a very big Akita Inu materializes in front of me, his onyx eyes kinda measuring me from head to toe and nose sniffing.“Kurama, you remember Sasuke, don’t ya?” Naruto says in a calm soothing voice. The dog looks at him then back at me and makes a step closer. I tense a bit and Naruto throws me a side glance and wispers:“If you could give him your hand to sniff ya a bit.”I slowly get lower and reach my hand to Kurama’s nose. He smells me a bit and in a second his tail starts waggling around and he licks my hand. Naruto laughs:“Good booy, I told ya you’ll remember Sasuke.”I pet the dog a bit, his fur is soo fluffy. I can’t believe this is the small pup that used to lick Naruto’s hair in all directions when we were kids.“How old is he now?” I ask.Naruto smiles:“8 and a half” he says.“Sasuke, it’s that you?” Kushina’s voice echoes from the kitchen. I head there after Naruto and answer:“Yes, Kushina-san. It’s me.”She wears an orange apron over her flowy pink summer dress and looks like she is chopping vegetables for a salad. When she sees me she wipes off her hands on the apron and leans in to give me a hug:“Glad that you came, dear. You can go in the back yard. Minato wants to know what kind of meat you’d like.”“Y-yes” I stutter, not being used to people actually caring about what I want, except my brother and Shisui.Naruto shows me to door to their backyard. It’s bigger than before and I realise that the house behind theirs doesn’t exist anymore. Noticing my gape Naruto explains:“They moved one year after you left and gave us their space for the yard”.I nod. Minato stays in front of a simple wood garden table and cuts some meat. He wears an apron similar to his wife and gives me a wide smile:“Ahhh, Sasuke, come, come. Now I really need you to tell me if chicken is ok for you.”“Y-yes, it’s fine. You don’t have to-““Oh, come on. You don’t impose in any way” he interrupts me and then adds “Sausages?”“Yes, I eat sausages too.” The table is beautifully arranged, except the corner where Minato cuts the meat. The yard has all types of flowers everywhere and in the left corner is a dog house for Kurama and a garden swing. In the right corner is a brick barbecue grill where Minato goes to prepare the meat. I walk around the yard, admiring all the roses, daisies, dahlias and marigolds that color it. Probably my mum would have liked this so much. She was in love with flowers and colors and summer sunsets. She used to say there is nothing more peaceful in the world than a summer sunset. I feel a pain in my chest and tears threaten to fall down my eyes. A hand on my shoulder wakes me up:“Sasuke do you wear sunscreen? I can give you some” Kushina says warmly. I turn to her and she smiles gently:“Actually I applied some at home”.“Ok, if you want more tell me, yes?”I nod and she squeezes my shoulder:“Lunch will be ready soon. And I hope you know we’re so glad you’re here. Naruto too.”My eyes drift from her to Naruto, who’s laughing like crazy now, playing with a bone with Kurama.“Thank you” are the only words my courage finds as an answer at that moment.While we’re eating the conversation goes around crazy summer memories and Naruto and his parents talk about one day trips to the sea with old Rookie 9, failed surprise birthday parties for Naruto and prom. Kushina even gets up at a certain point and brings an album with hundreds of pictures with them or their friends. In the prom picture Naruto holds Sakura’s waist and smiles widely.After lunch his parents go in the house and we move in the swing chair. Naruto basically throws himself in that chair making it sway and then, while we’re talking his legs move around. It reminds me so much of the times I used to get annoyed with his fumbling and restlessness.“You went to the prom with Sakura?” I ask, trying to make a conversation. Silence around him scares me – I’m afraid he might fill with something that I can’t take.He gives me half a smile:“Yes” then he snorts remembering something and he fixes me with playful eyes “Ino declared our prom the one in which we won’t get laid as everyone does. So we came with people that we didn’t date at that time. It was funny, Ino came with Choji. Do you remember him?” he asks.I want to tell him that I remember. Not just Choji, I remember everyone, all Rookie 9 and each moment we spent together in primary school. I want to tell him that I remember and in the same time I want so badly to forget that past that doesn’t match this present. How can someone be in a moment surrounded by so many people and then so alone, so lost and abandoned? How can you go back to a life that doesn’t belong to you anymore? I want to tell Naruto so many things that came into my mind along the years, so many sad things. I don’t know why, I just feel like it. Maybe a part of me thinks that if I tell Naruto, he’ll make me forget, as I forgot about any other worries in the past when I got into a shit with him. But I can’t. I hate both the pain and the need to talk about all this things out loud. So, instead of telling him everything I just answer simply, in a monotone voice, almost close to ignorance:“I think I remember him.”“And Shikamaru?”I nod.“He’ll help us” he says.“He’ll help us?” I repeat.“Yeah” he grins and his eyes flicker in mischief  “he’ll hack Nagato’s laptop and we’ll find out how the investigation progressed in the last years. Don’t ask me how he’ll do that, but he said he can.”“Is he a hacker or something?” I’m actually joking when I say that. It’s pure sarcasm and still Naruto let’s me dumbfounded when he answers in a very serious tone:“Yeah. I guess you can say he is a hacker. He went to IT and honestly sometimes it’s scary how good he is. They let him in because he hacked the university’s system.”I study him waiting for his laugh to burst out, but it doesn’t happen. He is deathly serious.“You’re not joking” I state.He turns to me, his eyebrows a bit frowned:“No, not with Shikamaru’s hacking abilities.”The next day I’m at the mentioned Shikamaru’s door with Naruto, getting ready to do something completely illegal and probably dangerous. There’s no need to tell you that if I’m in front of that door I completely ignore the consequences of our actions….
 
Shikamaru looks exactly as you would expect him to, taking into consideration his childhood image: slouchy figure, dark hair in a ponytail, sharp eyes. He bumps fist with Naruto when we enter his apartment and gives me a questionable look:“Hi Sasuke! Nice to see you again”.“Hi, Shikamaru.”We enter his small studio from the last floor of the dorms of National School of Cybernetics. Shikamaru has a small kitchen and even smaller bathroom and the rest of his apartment is full of PC’s, laptops and all sort of IT stuff. And smells like tobacco. He goes in front of a huge desk near his bed and opens his computers. He has three huge Samsung monitors in front of him. He sits there and taps two other chairs near him:“Sit down, you two. Naruto, there is coke or RedBull in the fridge.”Naruto goes to the fridge and comes back with two coke cans. He hands one to me, without even looking and asks Shikamaru:“What do you need me for?”Shikamaru’s hands start flying in a frenzy over the keyboard and he answers, not moving his eyes from one of the monitors:“You just need to tell me your Internet provider, Nagato’s address and the IP.”Naruto hands him a piece of paper. Shikamaru stares at it and starts tapping again. After another second of silence filled only with his keyboard song he stops abruptly and rummages in one of his drawers pulling out a cigarette. He gives me a side look while he lights up the thing:“You don’t mind, do you?”  I shake my head:“No, my brother smokes too.”“Good” he says, inhaling and then letting out a cloud of smoke.“How’s he?” he asks.“Gay” Naruto answers before I could open my mouth. I glare at him and Shikamaru chuckles:“Not bad. Is he married, Sasuke?”Naruto murmurs a “what?” at me and I move my eyes on Shikamaru who watches us amused:“Engaged.”“He’s not wasting time, right?” he jokes, then adds “and you?”My eyes fly on Naruto’s again and I give him a warning look. He grins, but shuts his mouth:“Single.”Shikamaru nods:“Good. Girls are troublesome.”Naruto finds the opportunity to tease him:“Problems with Temari?”Temari, Temari..I try to recall her face in my mind and realise I don’t know who she is.Shikamaru growls:“Give me a break, Naruto. She is so difficult sometimes that-“ and he stops because something came up on one of his monitors. He fixes the cigarette in a corner of his mouth and his fingers start dancing on the keyboard again. His eyes dart from one monitor to another and for a few minutes, almost ten, I just stare at him. Numbers and all sort of stuffs come up on those huge LCDs and Shikamaru seems like he’s not even blinking. The cigarette is finished in his mouth and he just ignores it, still following the information that keeps popping up before his eyes. Naruto is silent, proof that he’s pretty familiar with this kind of image. Seeing how dumbfounded I am he winks at me in a gesture meant for assurance?, I guess. I don’t know why it seems like a flirt to me…huh?what?!After one victorious hit on “Enter” Shikamaru suddenly turn to us with a proud grin:“Done.”“So fast?” Naruto mocks him.“Actually, it could’ve been faster, but he had some good protection. Not good enough though..” Shikamaru replies honestly.Naruto shrugs:“You scare me, dude.”Shikamaru quirks an eyebrow:“You asked for my help and now you piss your pants?”“You can go to jail” Naruto observes.“Or they’ll hire me” Shikamaru says with indifference. Something pops on his monitor again:“So, let’s see what Nagato has around.”We come closer to him and watch the name of the folders. Naruto points one:“That one is with the invoices that Obito sent.”Shikamaru nods and copies it in another folder on his computer. He opens other folders and look around while Naruto keeps pointing him what he thinks might be useful. After a while he finishes and Shikamaru agrees with him.“Can you open those invoices for me, Shikamaru?”“Yeah, just to know, they are around 1000 stuff in here.”I probably widen my eyes. Naruto retorts:“I know. We found some financial statements too, right?”Shikamaru approves and the blond adds:“Can you open one from 1999 for example and the invoices?”One click and Shikamaru obeys. The result is that I see a bunch of numbers on the screen. I did some accounting in my first year of law school, but that’s all. Those numbers doesn’t say much to me, but, surprisingly, it does say something to Naruto. He’s now hunched over Shikamaru’s shoulder and stares at an invoice, then back at the financial statement.“What do you think it is?”Shikamaru stares at the same numbers and scratches his chin:“I frankly don’t think you’ll figure out today.”Naruto sighs:“I know..”“Do you want these files, Sasuke?” Shikamaru asks me.I look at both of them:“I think it’s better if it stays to you and Naruto.”“Ok” Shikamaru agrees “if you want to come with Naruto again, you’re welcomed.”Naruto grins at me and underlines with a cocky voice:“You’re in shit again.”Shikamaru snorts and observes:“Why is this bringing back old memories?”I click my tongue and give both of them a look. schoolFor the next two weeks I end up spending a lot of time with them in the small space of Shikamaru’s studio. He asks questions here and there and makes interesting conversations about politics, law school, taxes and even gay rights. I don’t remember if I had an actual conversation with him as a kid, but I know he’s bearable as an adult. Turns out that Temari is Gaara’s older sister, that weird redhead that Naruto beat in the School Fuckery, ages ago. And it also turns out he ended up in the same high school with them and now they are friends. He’s in psychology, last year and works in an NGO for kids with autism, which is admirable, of course.Now it’s past 10 on a Friday night and we are still stuck in Shikamaru’s room. Thanks God he has AC in that thing because today was hell outside – 40 degrees Celsius. God wants to burn as all. Naruto is hunched over the monitor, the blue tank top he’s wearing not hiding much. And I’m not looking/staring at his toned arms wondering if he works out or not… He puffs again, giving Shikamaru a frustrated look:“I’m tellin’ ya it’s fraud.”Shikamaru snickers from the sofa where he is sprawled with his cigarette in the corner of his mouth:“I’m telling you, you can’t know. Maybe they actually bought those things.”Naruto growls and turns to me:“Tell him is fraud.”I lift up my hands as exasperated as him:“I told you I’m not specialized in this. But I’ll ask Suigetsu.”Naruto pouts and comes on the sofa, near Shikamaru:“I’m tellin’ ya they used the money for something else. You’ll see.”Shikamaru opens his mouth to mock him probably when someone knocks at the door. He gets up with a groan and opens it:“Yoooo, Nara! Up for a drink?”Shit! I could recognize the over excited boomed voice everywhere. Inuzuka.He enters in the studio followed by Sakura. He’s laughing hard at his own jokes and then stops abruptly when he sees me. Sakura’s teal eyes widen and she gasps. I freeze in place. This probably means Naruto didn’t tell them about me and Shikamaru most probably respected his choice. Kiba’s expression immediately hardens and he brings his lips in a tight line. Sakura comes forward, her voice shaky:“Hi, Sasuke”. She wears some blue shorts and a pink crop top and pink Converses. What surprises me is that she cut all her hair, having now nothing more than a pixie. It doesn’t look bad on her though.“Hi, Sakura. Long time no see.”She smiles:“Indeed. Glad to see you.”I nod mindlessly and think that maybe she actually knew me and Naruto met again.“What are you guys doin’ here?” Naruto asks, ignoring the fact that Kiba still has a disgusted expression on his face.“We should ask what is he doin’ here, man” he spits.
They definitely knew and they hate it. Tsch. I give 0 fucks.
Naruto frowns:“What do you mean what he’s doin’ here? We had something to talk to Shikamaru”.Kiba’s flicker with anger:“After 10 years you had something to talk to Shikamaru…no shit.”Naruto’s slightly confused look from before shifts immediately, the blue in his eyes turning into something cold, menacing:“The fuck is wrong with ya?!”“Maybe you should answer that question. This ghost comes in and you forget about your friends” Kiba retorts, nostrils flaring.“I haven’t forgot about anyone, it’s not my fault you are an idiot” Naruto mocks him.“I’m an idiot?! Who the fuck stood by your side in all these years? This motherfucker?”“KIBA!”This time Sakura’s voice echoes in the room with a pitch I’ve never heard from her. Kiba turns to her, then to Naruto and then vanishes out of the room, coursing. I frankly should be angry with this guy and his stupid unfounded attack, but instead I don’t know why I’m very amused that I still piss him off so much after all these years. I get up and tell them:“I’ll go home. Sakura” and I nod at her as a greeting. They’re all silent now and Naruto’s eyes are fixed in an undefined place, avoiding, on purpose or not, Sakura's pleading gaze.I head to the door when he asks from behind:“Can you leave me at my parents restaurant?”I turn and look at him. He still avoids Sakura:“Yeah. I’ll wait for you in the car.”I don’t know how much I actually wait for him. Maybe more than 10 minutes I guess. I don’t look at the time. Instead I focus on that hot summer evening, with the sounds of the city purring around and the sky that has no stars and my thoughts scattered between memories of the past and memories of the present. Naruto comes back with the same frozen expression on his face. He slams the door and mumbles a “sorry”.I turn the engine on and get ready for a silent drive to Ichiraku when he speaks, voice lifeless:“He’s an idiot. It has nothing to do with you, but with his stupid ideas.”I shrug:“Well, I think his ideas are not stupid if he went that far to call me a motherfucker.”He flinches:“Just ignore him.”I turn to him fully:“I can ignore him. I don’t give two shits about him. But you do. It’s your friend.”He exhales loudly and faces me too:“You are my friend too, Sasuke.”He seems so convinced, so sure of what he says and I wonder if he realizes I haven’t been here in the last 8 years and I’m definitely not his friend. And I want to tell him this and open my mouth to do so when he interrupts with a growl, eyes burning as before:“If you’re going to spit some shit of how you’re not my friend, better don’t open that mouth of yours”.I could tell him so many things, so many reasons why we should stop this and keep going on separate ways, but I know what I’ll find after I’ll let those words out: loneliness. And pain. So I mindlessly decide to stay silent and drive him to Kushina’s restaurant. This way I can still keep him in my life.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day I talk to Suigetsu and he accepts to come back in town to meet Shikamaru in weekend and to take a look at our “case”. Until he arrives the rest of the week melts into the heat of summer and Naruto’s blue eyes. I blame my mood on the hot temperatures or a possible heat - stroke.We meet almost everyday, even if we don’t analyse those files anymore and we spend time in Shikamaru’s studio playing video games or at Kushina’s restaurant. It turns out Naruto helps them during summer time and he also created their promotion strategy. I am completely dumbstruck when one day he orders Katsudon at Ichiraku only to come with that sort of bazooka professional DSLR and snap pictures from all angles with the food. Then he downloads everything in his laptop and posts on the restaurant’s account on Instagram. The whole time, beside the fact that I’ve never seen this side of him and I’ve never thought he can be so focused on something, I am completely lost in his eyes. Those eyes that aren’t just blue, but the color in them has a life of her own, always changing, stirred by the light of the sun or artificial light. It’s so disquieting, so confusing to me that I find myself thinking someone should come and define those eyes of his.And then, annoyed by my own stupidity, I try to recompose myself and to understand where the hell I want to take this. Because if I’m going in the way I think I am it means I’ve completely lost my shit.On Saturday Suigetsu and I are knocking on Shikamaru’s door. My stupid ex-affair? Boyfriend? Sex partner? Whatever… Suigetsu is wearing his usual super skinny jeans and a purple large T-shirt with a minimal “FUCK” written on the chest. Subtle..The moment he enters the room and I present Naruto to him he fixes the blond and observes with a flirty voice:“Wow, nice eyes, honey”.Naruto stutters a “w-what?!” and looks scared a bit and I growl at Suigetsu:“Suigetsu!”He grins at me and retorts:“What, babe? I just told him he has nice eyes. I didn’t ask if he was up for a fuck.”Naruto’s mouth fells open and Shikamaru seems to be overly focused on arranging the RedBull cans in his fridge. Naruto tries to recomposes himself, his eyes moving between Suigetsu and me. He asks innocently:“A-a-are you guys together?”Suigetsu starts laughing and teases him:“Me and Sasuke? Oh, no, dear, that would be too complicated for both of us. Besides, Sasuke doesn’t do relationships.”I glare at him and retort:“Says the guy who doesn’t remember how many other guys has fucked.”Suigetsu’s lips turn into a thin line and he snarls:“Huh! At least I’m with Karin now. Let’s see when you settle down!”I give him an eye roll and sit next to Shikamaru. Suigetsu follows and then Naruto. He has such a weird expression plastered all over his face that I decide it’s better not to look at him. Shikamaru opens the folders for Suigetsu and give him control of the mouse. He starts checking the invoices and the financial statements of Namikaze INC, while Shikamaru asks him:“Do you know what you’re doin’?”Suigetsu gives him a sassy look and explains:“I’ve been an intern in an audit company in the last three years. I worked for the legal department, but I’ve checked this kind of things too.”“Naruto thinks it’s fraud” I tell him and he runs his thin fingers through his recently dyed grey hair:“Well, it can be. We’ll see” and he turns to Naruto:“You know what fraud is?”“On ethical terms, yeah.”Suigetsu nods and asks him:“Business management?”“No, PR” Naruto answers.“I see” Suigetsu says, his eyes not leaving the monitor.For the next two hours is very quiet in the room, except the occasional questions Suigetsu asks Naruto and his answers. The awkwardness from the beginning slowly dissipates and Naruto actually manages to make Suigetsu crack up a few times.It’s 9 PM now and Shikamaru smokes the third cigarette in the last half an hour. His dark eyes follows Suigetsu’s and I’m sure he sees what I see: worry. Worry on Suigetsu pale face means eyebrows knitted and jaw clenched. His purple-blue eyes glisten with something that screams danger. He clears his throat and he fixes us:“So, you guys were right. From what I can see it was fraud…and it worked for a lot of years” he adds in a lower voice.Naruto clenches and unclenches his fists:“For how long?”“3, 4 maybe 5 years or more?” Suigetsu shrugs, then keeps on and this time I sense that snarky tone that he has when he threatens or warns people “my advice it’s to kinda drop this. I kno’ you want to kno’, but you’d better leave this to professionals.”Shikamaru silently approves him, but Naruto’s orbs are pinned into mine. Suigetsu gets up and pinches my waist:“Are you taking me to the bus station, babe?”I give him a look:“Yes. And stop callin’ me like that!”He turns and grins:“You kno’ what I mean by babe. Are you shy now because you’re hetero friends are around?”Shikamaru starts laughing and Naruto chuckles, but I feel him tensing in a way. Maybe it’s about what Suigetsu said…20 minutes later we arrive at the bus station. Suigetsu stops the radio and turns to me. I felt him preparing this all the way up here. He was usually talking nonsense but now he was unnaturally quiet.“Listen, Sasuke. I don’t kno’ exactly what this is about, but I was fucking serious when I said you should drop it.”I give him a look and he adds:“This thing is bad. Really bad.”“You mean the hacking thing?”“I give 0 shits about the hacking thing. You can hack how many computers you want. I mean the fraud, the invoices and this Namikaze INC thing. Drop it” he snarls.“Why?” I push him and he clicks his tongue in disapproval:“Fine, babe, if you want this, so be it. I usually don’t talk about my life and you’ve never did, so I guess this is partly the reason why we fucked for so long. Beside that you look good” I would smirk at him usually, but his voice sounds so cold that I just listen “but it seems you don’t get what I mean by bad so I’m just gonna spill some shit. I don’t come from a rich family like you and I managed to get into law school because one of my cousins, Kisame, gave me financial support” he pauses and fixes me “he’s not from a rich family either, but he managed to make some money. Illegally. When I told him I want to get into law school he didn’t say no, but he warned me to avoid cases that would be connected to him, if I ever receive one. It was a win-win thing, if you want. One of the banks Namikaze INC has worked with..that KIRI International something. That thing does not exist.”My pulse start booming in my ears as Suigetsu keeps going: “It’s a dummy company and as far as I can tell you, what is behind that is so rotten you don’t want to dig in to find out.”He stops and scans my face:“Do you understand? I don’ want to find out from the news that you were found dead somewhere as your fellows.”I flinch and he puts a hand on my tight:“I know it’s your business and shit. As I have my own shit that I don’ want to talk about, but if this is about your parents, drop it.”He removes his hand and opens the door to get out, but he stops and turns to me. He is still tensed, but something playful flickers in his eyes:“And you should ask that blondie on a date. He’s not bad.”He gets out and I don’t have time to tell him he is delusional as my brother and Shisui. But, that joke aside, I start thinking about his warning. Suigetsu is that type of person that doesn’t care about the rules or about the consequences of breaking them. He always said that things happen for a reason, including breaking the rules, being late for classes or talking shit to your teachers. Along our law school years I saw him getting in all kinds of situations and treating them all with a cold indifference. This guy was never stressed by something, he was always chill and if indeed the situation was bad he’d make fun of it with that snarky voice of his, proof of a sarcasm that sometimes was worse than mine. But tonight there was something in him that I don’t recall seeing before, which means I should give this thing up. But I can’t, because I want to know. If this is indeed connected to my parents death I want to know. I need this truth as I need oxygen. July arrives in a Tuesday morning with summer rain. It pours for hours, without break and the sky is covered in those dark grey clouds that make you curse and decide it’s a good day to stay in bed. Any sort of normal person will decide that..except me. I wake up at 7.30…as I always do, go in the kitchen, make some coffee and listen to the news. When I check my fridge it’s almost empty so I decide it’s time for grocery shopping. It’s so cloudy outside that it’s seems it’s already evening, not 10 AM in the middle of summer. I check my phone: no sign of Naruto. He kept silence since Suigetsu’s visit last week. I wonder what’s going on…  I know I should ignore him as he ignored me, but if he backs off it’ll be really complicated for me to convince Shikamaru to still help me. Or I could really make the stupidest decision ever and try to bribe Kakashi to tell me if the investigation ever brought to light who the killers of my parents were.And that it’s not all…I sigh..somewhere, very deep in the back of my mind, but still there, I wonder if Naruto’s silence is connected to Suigetsu’s visit. As in he was embarrassed by something or he decided it’s better to keep the distance or any other stupid reason he’s mind my come up with…not that I care…………I care, but I don’t know why and the fact that I start thinking about what my brother has been pestering me with dating Naruto and shit, doesn’t make things more clear.The Target I choose for grocery shopping is almost empty, which makes me sigh in relief. The last thing I needed this morning was a crowded space. I walk easily by the fruits and vegetable aisle, then bread, coffee, bathroom stuff and I decide maybe it’ll be a good idea if I buy something sweet or close to something sweet. I stop at biscuits -  there is just one person there, hunched over his cart with the back at me. He gets up and turns around and it’s..Naruto. I freeze in place and he does that too, then a half smile - half grin appears on his face.“Hey, Sasuke!”“Hi” I answer. I am pretty much sure it sounded like “hn”.“What are you doin’ here?” he giggles and I give him a look:“I came to take over the world. Grocery shopping, what do you thing I’m doing?”He grimaces and picks up a pack of Milka cookies. I choose some honey bio biscuits and he gives me an eye roll:“That is a horrible choice.”“Not my fault you eat just stuff that gives you diabetes.”“Ha ha ha” he replies dryly.We pay and he puts all his stuff in a backpack. He seems moody or pensive.“I can give you a ride” I say on the way to the exit. He turns to me, his eyes fixing mine. I expect him to make a joke or a stupid comment, anything, but his eyes just bore into mine and nothing more.“Ok” he answers and we head to our car.After I put our stuff in trunk I go back. He waits in silence while I turn the engine on, then blurts out:“The thing with Shikamaru, we need to stop”.“Why?” I ask simply, trying to fight to sudden wave of panic that hits me.“You heard your friend, it’s dangerous”.“Suigetsu talks a lot of shit” I reply and he starts fumbling in agitation.“Sasuke, really now, we already hacked Nagato’s computer. If he finds out he’ll kill me. We know now more than before and it’s pretty clear we should let ANBU deal with this.”“Because they are very good and they did their best in the last 8 years…10 for you and your parents” I snarl, squeezing the wheel. The rain didn’t stop, worse, it turned into a messy storm with wind and I realise I head to Ichiraku’s, but I don’t know if this is the place Naruto wanted to go.“Where exactly do you want to take this? Do you think you can punish them when the police couldn’t?” he replies my earlier sarcasm, eyes starting to burn with anger.“I want to find out who they are” I declare, glaring at him, then turning my eyes back on the road.“And when you do, what are you going to do with them?” he pushes, sounding more and more exasperated.“It’s not your business.”“Pffff, it is my damn business. I’m the one who brought this up” he spits.I pull over violently and he flinches in his seat:“Exactly” I snarl at him “you got me into this and now you’re backing off. If you were a coward in the first place, why did you even bother?”He narrows his eyes:“You are an asshole, you know that?” he runs his fingers through his hair “ You are exactly how you used to be. You care only about yourself and what you want.”I clench my fists:“Since when I am the subject of this discussion?”“Isn’t it always about you? You don’t even think about the others” he is very close to scream at me and his agitation makes me angrier too.“This is not about this, you don’t even know what the last years meant to me!”“But you know? What they meant to me? Did you care to ask? To give an explanation?”“I owe you no explanation” I fight back and he gives me a bitter smile:“Of course you don’t. You can step on people, you can treat them like shit and you don’t even have to give an explanation.”We’re both screaming at each other now and I just push my fingers to my temples:“You’re driving me CRAZY, NARUTO! You got me in this and now you don’t like the aftermath!”“Because you want to do something utterly stupid, that’s why!”I want to fight back when I stop. He knows. He talked to Nagato. He knows. I attack him, grabbing his T-shirt, eyes throwing fire:“You know who they are. This is why you want to stop me.”He puts his hand on my wrists, his blue eyes making me feel cold suddenly:“Let me go, Sasuke!”He doesn’t even try to deny it. Now I’m certain he knows.“Who the fuck you think you are to keep this away from me?!” I scream at him, gripping his T-shirt tighter than before.His jaw clenches suddenly and his shoulders drop. The only thing that still stays stiff is his grip on my hands:“Good question. I thought I was someone important for you. I guess I was wrong”.He releases himself from me, opens the door and gets out in the pouring rain. I hear the trunk being opened and slammed back in. I should scream or go after him or just.. I don’t even know. The only thing that burns my mind is the look on his face when he said the last words - I’ve never saw this on him: pain, disappointment, sadness.I sigh exasperated and mutter to myself: You really drive me crazy, Naruto.
 
When I knock at Kakashi’s door I’m drenched because of the rain and I don’t even care. I feel numb, like I want to confront my feelings about the fight with Naruto and in the same time I want to erase them, along with everything else that makes me think too much. Kakashi opens the door, measuring me from head to toe and concluding:“Taking into consideration that you didn’t call and it’s not the day for therapy, you’re probably in a pinch.”He lets me in and walks to the bathroom, coming back with a towel and handing it to me.“Tell me, what’s going on?”I sit on his sofa, not looking him in the eye. In the last time I keep doing things that I feel I have no control over. I don’t even know why I came to Kakashi or why Naruto’s words and his pained blue eyes bother me that much.“Sasuke, I already smell the odour of your burnt brain. Speak..” he mocks me.I glare at him. Does he even realise how lost I feel like now? How confused?“Do you think I’m selfish?” I blurt out.He sits near me on the sofa, his eyes narrowing when he hears the question.“Not exactly.”“What’s that suppose to mean?” I retort, already pissed off with him.He fixes me, a little crease forming between his eyebrows:“I mean that you’re selfish in certain situations. In others you’re simply selfless as in you don’t even have the basic self-preservation instinct.”“You’ve never told me that” I spit and he snorts:“I’ve never told you many things. Not just that.”“I think I’m going crazy” I confess suddenly in a whisper.He frowns, voice sounding a bit concerned:“Why do you think that?”I inhale, a strange feeling creeping in my chest and making it feel constrained, almost as if it’d be filled with rocks:“I fought Naruto. He…he told me I’m selfish.”“In general or he was talking about a specific thing?”“I…about my parents’ death.”“Ah” he says like he was expecting this since the moment he opened the door.“Sounds like you expected this” I observe.He gets up and walks to his shelf where he has the pacients’ files, picking one and coming back. It’s pretty thick and I know it’s mine. He sits near me, flipping through his pages, but not looking exactly at them. He speaks, voice calm:“We’ve never talked about your diagnosis, have we?”I shrug, confused:“You just told me I had PTSD and depression.”He nods:“When we met 8 years ago, you were the most severe case of PTSD I’ve ever seen. On my opinion you still have it, only now some people would call it just anxiety. At that time your PTSD also turned into depression and a sort of incapacity you developed on dealing with emotions. Powerful ones like joy or fear. The social anxiety kicked in later, although you responded to therapy.”He pauses looking at me again. I wonder what face I’m making. He adds:“You asked if you are selfish. When it comes to the death of your parents, yes, you are. To the point it gets closer and closer to an obsession. You’re so fixed on that incident, still it is the reason that torments you. These things may not sound new to you. I told you this before in our discussion when I was calm or angry with you. And what I’m going to tell you now won’t be new either.”He puts the file on the coffee table and turns to me completely:“You told me you want revenge. Have you ever thought of what are you going to do after revenge? What are you going to do with your life? Your choices? Your friends maybe?”I look at him blankly and hide my face in my hands:“I don’t know how to live anymore” I tell him and my voice sounds pained, like in a minute I would die. It wouldn’t bother me that much. “See?” he says “ you don’t know how to live because you were so fixated all this years only on revenge. Sasuke” he says my name in that way you ask your child to wake up in the morning “I’ve never said you don’t need to know who the killers of your parents were. You need and it is fair that they assume consequences for the murder. But, it is a difference between this justice that needs to be done and it’s normal to be done and the one you want. You want to see burning in hell everyone that stands or will stand between you and your revenge. You went to law school so that you can see how the judges analysed your parents case, you asked your brother to teach you to shoot and you lied to him that it is for your protection, but it is for killing. The moment you’ll find out who they are you’ll commit another murder in the name of your own sense of justice.”He pauses again and puts his hand on my shoulder:“And you did the same with Naruto. In the last month since I showed you that picture you spent time with him only because you knew he can get you closer to the truth, to your objective, while he most certainly spent time with you because he missed you. He needed you, maybe he needed answers too, but for something else. You said he called you selfish and in this case he was right. You are selfish to the point I start to wonder if you’re not completely out of your mind with this.”I flinch when he says the last words. In the last years I called myself batshit crazy but I think I’ve never fully believed that. I said it as a joke or as a way of excusing myself for my behavior, because I didn’t know how to deal with myself in certain contexts. But now, hearing Kakashi saying it out loud scares me and makes me sad too. Like I thought I can overcome this as my brother thought, as Kakashi thought and now I disappointed them all.“Do you think I risked my career for nothing when I showed you that picture, Sasuke?” Kakashi asks startling me.“ I… I don’t know.”“Well, I did it because I hoped that if Naruto tells you something more and makes things more clear, you’re just going to drop this and move on. But instead, you got into a bigger shit.”I fix a point on the floor and keep my eyes on that, until my vision gets blurry from tears and the room and everything else disappears from my view.He notices this and pulls me into an awkward hug and I don’t know how to deal with this or with the tears that keep flooding my eyes or the pain in my chest:“He said I didn’t give him an explanation” I whisper, voice cracking.Kakashi releases me and gives a tissue box:“An explanation about what?”I shrug:“About the past. Why I left. I don’t know. He confuses me more than the entire thing.”Kakashi squeezes his temples with a hand:“Have you thought that maybe he is as confused as you are?”He has that subtle look he uses when he wants me to “figure things on my own”..I growl and get up:“I’ll go home” I blurt, suddenly embarrassed by my emotional breakdown. Kakashi’s attentive eyes flicker with something and he warns me:“The moment you’ll get out on that door your feelings won’t disappear. Deal with them at home, Sasuke. Cry, scream, curse, but deal with them.”The way home is like a trance. I’m too overwhelmed to pay attention to the surroundings or to the weird car that follows me all the way home, then keeps on going. I throw the groceries in my fridge and spend the rest of the day in my bed, numb and confused and kinda dealing with everything.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The confusing state I’m in dissipates slowly after one week and a half. July seems to be also confused because the summer storms don’t stop and the entire city is thrown in depression. I get out of the house in weekend and people in traffic are angry, the supermarkets are full with frustrated mothers and the baristas at Starbucks are making a poor excuse of Iced Americano.Itachi gets really worried about my mental state and I have two more session with Kakashi, until I manage to find a logic for my jumbled thoughts. So, in this two weeks and a half I’m not paying much attention to the surroundings and I pretty much lose the sense of time. My phone stays silent and Naruto doesn’t talk to me. Suigetsu is the only one who textes me to ask if I’m ok and I tell him I fought with Naruto. The reaction he gives me it’s the well known “I told you” and I end up cursing him.The moment I figure I’m being followed it’s when I decide it’s time to go to the grocery store again. It’s Sunday morning and the city it’s not that crowded yet. At a red light I notice behind me a black Toyota CHR with tinted windows that stays behind me all the way to the supermarket and then I notice it is behind me when I get out of the parking lot. I pick up my phone and call Kakashi:“I’m busy, Sasuke” he groans in the phone.“I’m being followed” I say.I hear him ruffling the sheets, his voice concerned when he speaks again:“By who?”“Black Toyota CHR, I can’t see the driver nor the numbers. I thought it’s a coincidence, but they followed me all the way to the supermarket.”“Where are you now?”“Near the old town. I don’t want to show them where my apartment is.”“Come to my place?” he demands.“Are you crazy? What if they are dangerous?!”He groans frustrated:“That’s the point, Sasuke. If they are dangerous they’ll think twice if they see you coming to a ANBU officer’s house.”“Ok, fine.”“Don’t hung up. Let’s talk until you get here. Why you didn’t call Itachi?”“I don’t want him to worry” I say and he mumbles ironically.“You don’t want him to know that you’re being followed even if he is an ANBU…”I growl:“Will you just shut up? I didn’t call you so you can give me another lecture.”“Says he, who needed the lecture, otherwise would have gone crazy.”“Fuck you, Kakashi.”He chuckles and retorts:“Yes, Sasuke, I know you hate the truth. Where are you know?”“Two blocks away from you.”“Are they still there?”“Yes.”He clicks his tongue:“Ok, listen to me. Don’t go out of the car. I’ll come and take you.”“Ok.”The motherfuckers are behind me, until I get in front of Kakashi’s house and they see him outside. At that point they speed up and vanish.Kakashi follows with his sharp eyes the car until it turns down the block and opens my door:“Let’s get in.”We enter in his living room – he was watching “Spirited Away” by Miyazaki. Very busy he was.. I rise an eyebrow and he gives me a shrug:“What? Am I not allowed to enjoy a masterpiece? Now, this aside. Tell me when did you notice these guys were following you?”I sit on his sofa while he goes to the kitchen, coming back with a cup of coffee.“Kakashi, I’m not sure but I think I saw that car before…in the day I fought with Naruto. But I was too confused then to worry about it.”He nods:“Did you guys dig into something you shouldn’t?” he asks, sipping in his own mug of coffee.I observe him, wondering if I should tell him about what Suigetsu told me or not. I sigh:“We didn’t dig exactly. It just came up…”“Aha…like?”“You know my friend, Suigetsu?”“The whore, yeah..”I give him an eye roll and keep going:“I asked him something and he pointed some sort of dummy company and he simply warned us not to get more involved in this.”Kakashi listens to me silently and I wonder why he doesn’t ask what we found out or how. He just narrows his eyes and pinches his nose:“So, except this you didn’t do anything else.”“No..and Suigetsu wouldn’t have betrayed me.”He seems to accept this idea too and declares:“Then it means things are moving.”A cold shiver runs on my spine and makes the hairs on my nape stand up. Kakashi’s eyes are serious and cold and his words are frightening.“Be careful from now on, ok? And it doesn’t matter the time or place, call me. I’ll try to warn Shisui and Itachi too. I suppose you don’t want to tell your brother.”I shake my head:“If you can keep this between us…”He gives me that kind of look you give to a spoiled child:“It’s the last dirty secret I keep, Sasuke. Now, I’ll drive you home.”In the car he gives me a few more lectures regarding my mental state and tries to calm me. It works until he closes the door and I find myself alone in my apartment. In that moment a very bad feeling hits me and it doesn’t leave, not even when I fall asleep that night. “Sasuke, are you ok?” Shisui asks a week later when I finally decide to spend some time with them. He cuts some vegetables for lunch, moving around the kitchen like a spinner, ceasing his race only to give unexpected pecks on my brother’s cheek.
No, I’m not fine. Naruto doesn’t talk to me anymore and I have a really strong crisis of paranoia. I’m sure something very bad it’s gonna happen.
“Why do you ask?” I answer.Shisui throws the vegetables in the soup he’s making and turns to me:“You’re way to quiet. Even for yourself.”“I’m fine” I say, although, judging by the look both of them give me, they don’t believe me at all, but they just decide it’s better to let this go. Or better said, Itachi decides. He is usually the one who pushes me, making Shisui follow him. But if Itachi stays quiet, Shisui does the same and they both leave me alone.After lunch they decide to make a “Harry Potter” marathon – we can’t go outside because July is still in a shitty state, where the only thing that it gives is pouring rain and gloomy sky. I have a hunch that I’m not going to be able to pay attention to that movie, not even for 5 seconds. My mind is alert and I can’t even figure out why. I’m thinking to call Kakashi and tell him that he should add paranoia to my diagnosis.I tell by brother I just want to go back home and sleep and he doesn’t refuse, which can mean two things: he hopes I’ll overcome this state on my own or it is something on his mind too.When I arrive to my apartment my phone vibrates. The sound makes my heart leap two beats, thinking that maybe it’s Naruto and we’ll find a way to clear this shitty situation. I want to clear it, I want to say I’m sorry and I am even opened to let this thing with my parents go. Talking to Kakashi finally made me understand that I am completely exhausted by this existence in which I constantly search for answers that’ll never come to me. I’m not saying that if ever I have the chance to get revenge I’ll let that go. I can’t do that. But, I’m just saying I don’t want to actively pursue that anymore.With shaky hands I grab my phone and open the message, although I am disappointed. It’s not Naruto, it’s Shikamaru. Then disappointment turns into worry when I read his message:Shikamaru: “Sasuke..hi…uhm I don’t want to make this a big deal, I know you and Naruto fought, but please tell me he is with you.”Sasuke: “He’s not. Why?”Shikamaru: “Nevermind.”
Nevermind?? Oh, no, you better tell me what the shit is, genius.
Sasuke: “Nevermind my ass. What’s going on?”I wait for a response that refuses to come for two full minutes in which the worry turns into full panic. I try to call him, but he doesn’t pick up so I write another message:Sasuke: “Shikamaru, if you don’t tell me what’s going on I’m going to come to your place and get the words out of your mouth!”Shikamaru: “Calm down and I’ll tell you. I can’t speak because I’m at Ichiraku’s.”Sasuke: “Calm down?! You didn’t say anything for two fucking minutes.”Shikamaru: “Ok, ok. Look, I don’t know where he is. We talked two days ago. He was in a very weird mood and I think it had something to do with his father company and the whole deal. We haven’t talked since then, but Sakura tried to call him this morning. He’s not picking up. He’s not at the restaurant, nor to his parents.”While I’m holding the phone my hands freeze and a cold sweat creeps down my spine.Sasuke: “His parents said something?”Shikamaru: “Nothing. They thought he is with us, so we just lied and told them he’s with Kiba. But he’s not.”Sasuke: “Don’t tell them anything more. I’ll try to find him.”Shikamaru: “Wait, Sasuke! Don’t do something stupid. Maybe we should find Nagato and tell him!!!”I close the message window and tap Naruto’s name, ignoring the incoming call from Shikamaru. My breath gets labored while I wait to hear that sound that tells your the call is made. The phone rings a few times with no answer, then someone picks up. I wait to hear Naruto’s voice spitting a “what do ya want?!” or a curse or anything, but the voice I hear makes my blood boil and a lot of gastric acid making his way out of my stomach:“Good afternoon, Sasuke.”I listened and watched so many interviews with him in the last years that I could recognize his voice anywhere, from a thousands of other voices.
Madara Uchiha.
“Why are you answering Naruto’s phone?” I spit.“That was the only way I could find you. You’re really hard to find, you know that?” he purrs and his low and threatening voice makes me throw up.“Where is Naruto?”He inhales and mocks me:“Oh, Sasuke. I am the one who asks the questions here, but just so you calm down Naruto is here with me.”I watch the droplets of water making a creepy model on the windscreen of my car. Now I’m certain this is bad and this man wants something from me and wanted something from my parents. And it’s fucking scary how from a second to another your reality can change and how people like him can make it change in a blink of an eye.“What do you want?”He barks a fake laugh in the phone and answers:“Not too much. Just to have a chit chat with you and your blond friend tonight. It seems you’re hard to find because you’re very important…in business terms speaking.”I frown: I know I hid these years because, just like my brother, I could have inherited Konoha INC and I was a threat for Madara and for any other dumb Uchiha that salivated for the clan’s fortune. We didn’t disappear completely because we wanted to fight back and because my brother always wanted to send Madara a hidden message along the lines of : “I’m silent, but I’m still here. I watch you.” But Naruto? What does Naruto and his family have to do with any of this? Yes, there was the thing with Namikaze INC, but when I said they might be connected I didn’t mean in this way. I thought they might have used Minato’s company for a dirty maneuver, but not that Naruto directly had something to do with this.“Where do I have to come?” I snarl at him.He chuckles:“You know where Konoha INC is, right? I invite you here around 7 PM. Don’t worry, it’ll be just us three” and before I have the chance to say anything he hangs up.I massage my temples, my thoughts running around. There are two solutions for this. One, the responsible one is to call Itachi, tell him everything and let ANBU deal with this, but by the time they prepare their strategy Madara might find out and do something to Naruto. The second solution it’s to deal with this on my own, which is a totally bad idea, because if this guy killed my parents, he can easily kill me too.Still, I am the one who insisted on this, I’m the one who craved for revenge. Now I have the chance to do it and it suddenly downs on me that the best way to deal with this is not to think too much. I go in my apartment and search for a little gadget that Kakashi gave me, without my brother knowing. It’s a small camera that records for 40 minutes and when the time is over it automatically sends the video to Kakashi’s phone and to his laptop. If this guy says something now, maybe I’ll catch him with this.
I wish I had a gun, but because of my mental problems Itachi just taught me how to shoot, but never gave me a gun…
Instead I pick up a small electroshock weapon, also from Kakashi, which has a higher voltage than the normal one approved by law. This one is for ANBU’s purposes.In the back of my mind I know I am utterly irresponsible and stupid, but I need to get Naruto out of this and I need to deal with this, otherwise I’ll be blocked forever in darkness. So when 7 PM comes around I park in front of Konoha INC.Just when I’m ready to get out of the car my conscience twitches a bit and I think it should be better if I tell someone about this. But, talking to Itachi is out of discussion. The only one I can trust not to blow this out of proportion is Kakashi. I pull my phone out:Sasuke: “I’m about to do something utterly stupid, but you know already how I am. I think Madara might have kidnapped Naruto for some reason and contacted me. He wants to talk about something in Konoha INC. I need to get Naruto out of this. You were right, I was confused and I confused him even more, but he has nothing to do with this. Don’t tell Itachi” although I think this time Kakashi most probably will tell the entire ANBU division about this.When I enter Konoha INC a security guard comes and asks who I am. The company it’s empty, which makes me think this was settled. The bulky security guy shows me the way to the elevator and pushes the button for the 20th floor. He leaves me alone which makes me think Madara is a fucking arrogant bastard, thinking that I won’t try anything if I came here and I’ll just piss my pants. I check if the camera is in my shirt pocket where I left it and push the button to start recording. I just hope the whole thing won’t take longer that 40 minutes.The doors of the elevator open and I find myself directly in Madara Uchiha’s office, which used to be my dad’s. It doesn’t look the same. He stays smugly at his desk, his black eyes fixing me. The wall behind him is made of glass and the grey sky makes me think that the time has stilled probably from the day my parents died until now and starting tomorrow, it’ll move again. Then I notice that Naruto is tied to a chair in front of Madara’s long desk and he doesn’t move.“Great, Sasuke. You arrived just in time” Madara purrs in that disgusting tone of his and Naruto’s shoulders flinch. I get out of the elevator and wait, checking my surroundings. In the corner of the room there is a slouchy man with some weird skeleton tattoos on his arms. He gives me a grin.“Oh, Sasuke, but don’t stay there. Come in, come in” the Uchiha points the sofa near his desk.I take a deep breath and get there. Coming closer to Naruto I realise his hands are tied and when I sit on the sofa and face him I see his mouth is covered with some kind of tape.
Great, it’s worse than I thought.
When he sees me his blue eyes grow bigger and he tries to warns me.
Don’t worry Naruto, I know this is bad.
Madara notices our exchange and observes:“Don’t worry about Naruto. I didn’t torture him” although Naruto breathes in a weird way and I think there is something wrong with him. I scan his face, but it’s no bruise, no nothing. He tries to inhale more and he frowns. Something might be wrong with his ribs.“What do you want?” I ask Madara, eyes throwing fire.He narrows his eyes and mocks me:“You really look like Fugaku when you snarl like that.”“If it is the company, you can have it, I don’t care” I bluff.“But I already have it, Sasuke” he retorts amused.“Then what do you want?” I growl and I hear the slouchy motherfucker come closer to the sofa. I look at Naruto – his eyes move to Madara and back at me and then back to him again. They flicker with an anger that I saw in them only when we fought in the car. Just now, it seems even bigger.Madara opens a drawer on his desk and pulls out a gun, starting to tap his forehead with it. My blood turns cold and Naruto starts whining something behind his tape and gets agitated on the chair. The slouchy guy comes behind him and puts a hand on his nape in a force grip that makes him moan in pain and cease any sort of movement. Between my ribs my heart looks like it’s going to explode, but I try to calm myself as much as I can and to pull the electroshock gun out of my back pocket, without being noticed. When Madara starts to speak again, his voice has lost all the fake warm and politeness from before, sounding like any other voice of cold murderers you hear in those movies that are well made:“You see, Sasuke. The problem it’s not that I don’t have what I want. It’s more like a proactive action. You or your brother or this Senju heir that we have here” and he points Naruto and I don’t know the hell he’s talking about “can take my company any time. What can I do?” he says standing up and coming in front of his desk, leaning in it a bit and holding the gun as if it is a phone or any other object you hold in your hands on a daily basis.“Can I let you live? Or should I do something about it? Are you like those filthy rats that are waiting for a moment to attack me or I can ignore your pitiful existence and move on?”I don’t listen to him anymore, too busy to think of a plan, something, anything because by this point I am pretty sure he’s going to kill us. If I get this slouchy bastard away from Naruto I’m sure he’ll be able to release himself. A glimpse to his hands when I sat down earlier showed me he forced the string around them. Then I could just do something about Madara. My entire body tenses when the Uchiha finishes his nonsensical speech and fixes me:“Tell me, Sasuke. I heard you’re really smart. Tell me what should I do?”I look into Naruto’s eyes trying to warn him to be ready, it’s a second, just one, maybe less, but he blinks as an answer. Then, with my blood pumping in my veins and shaky hands I throw the pillow that was on the sofa at Madara and push the electroshock gun in the slouchy guy’s right side. Simultaneously, Naruto flips over his chair to the left side, out of Madara’s gun trajectory.There is a state of confusion after, I feel like time doesn’t flow anymore or flows too fast, I can’t really wrap my mind around it, but what I know it’s that Naruto releases himself and jumps to Madara to take away his gun. I want to stop him, but the slouchy guy was not hurt enough by my previous stunt so he gets up after Naruto. Trying to stop him, I trip him and urge myself to remember the judo stuff I know. He somehow catches my feet too and I fall with face down. He grabs the chair Naruto was in and hits me with it in my shoulder, although his movements are uncoordinated and I’m thinking he’s dizzy because of the shock. However, the chair is one of those metallic stuff and when it hits my shoulder I start screaming. My visions blurs a bit and I try to look after Naruto, catching a punch that flies in Madara’s jaw and another one. Another hit of the chair makes something around my shoulder crack and I try to turn around to stop the third.Then something happens, in that mere second between my thought of turning around and actually doing it: two shots of gun fills the air and the chair slips out of the guy’s hand, along with his entire body, which falls to the right side. I turn my head to check if Madara actually shot the guy and see Naruto already down with blood staining his blue shirt from his stomach. Madara is still up, holding the gun and giving me a disgusted look, then I hear a door slammed and a bullet pierces Madara’s skull, going through it as if it would be paper and breaking the entire wall glass from behind. Itachi enters the room, still holding his gun, along with other ANBU agents and I don’t remember much, just my voice screaming Naruto’s name. And then, time stops again, just like it did when my parents died.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I wake up two days after, around noon, with a huge pain in my right shoulder. This is the first thing that crosses my mind, then it’s the antiseptic smell that invades my lungs and then is Naruto.My eyes snap open to find my brother near my bed, dark circles under his eyes and a cold expression on his face. He notices that I woke up and says:“How do you feel?”
Why is he not telling me where Naruto is?
“Where is Naruto?” I answer, voice extremely hoarse.Itachi doesn’t answer, but something flickers in his eyes and I start crying silently, not being able to stop the flow of tears.“Please tell me he is not dead” I add, voice breaking already “please tell, me.”The sobs doesn’t help with the pain, making everything feel like that chair hits me again and again and again.Itachi turns to me, eyes like two black holes filled with anger and resentment and fear:“Why do you cry now? Stop crying. He’s not dead, but he’s in a coma and they don’t know when he’ll wake up. He was shot in the stomach and when he fell he hit his head. He had a brain injury and he needed surgery.”The words get to my ears, but it seems like the effect they have it’s on my heart, breaking it in millions of pieces and making my chest tighten. Itachi’s voice echoes in the room:“What was in your mind, Sasuke? Why did you do such a stupid thing??”Itachi has never screamed at me, not even when I was 14 and I was a brat, but now the look in his eyes makes me understand how upset he is. With my voice still sounding like broken glass I fight back:“Because you didn’t tell me anything! Because you kept things away from me!”His eyes widen and he spits:“I kept things from you? I tried to protect you!”“Yeah, you tried to protect me without thinking that I needed answers. I was sick of waiting for answers that never came to me!”There is a mix of pain and tears and everything that I felt in the last years, and this mix is now in my head and in my voice, probably in my eyes too. Itachi suddenly goes silent, his eyebrows frowned. He clenches and unclenches his fists, almost like it would be a spasm, a way even his body is trying to express his anger.He fixes me and says:“Hope you got your answers now –“He wants to add something but the door opens and Kakashi enters saying:“If you don’t want to break him completely, you’d better stop here, Itachi”.Itachi gives him a poisonous look and silently walks away. Kakashi comes near my bed, scanning my face:“You look bad” he leans in and wipes the tears that are still flowing on my cheeks and adds gently:“Stop crying, he’s not dead yet.”“But he’s not ok either” I retort and he shrugs:“Well, he’ll wake up. After the brain swelling goes away, he’ll wake up.”I finally find the courage to look him in the eye. He looks tired, but that spark of intelligence and irony that you find always in his eyes is still there:“Do you want to see him?” he asks me.“Can I?”He smirks faintly:“Of course you can” and he helps me get out of the bed. This is the moment I notice my right arm, along with my collarbone and the shoulder is fixed in some sort of sling. Seeing my confused state Kakashi explains:“From as far as I know you were hit with a metal chair in your right shoulder. It broke your collarbone and it dislocated your shoulder a bit. They put it back, but you’ll have to wear that for a month and go for kinetotherapy.”I frown, because I realise the pain came from here. Before we go out of the room, Kakashi warns me:“Sasuke, if you go crazy there I’ll kick your ass. He doesn’t look good and his parents are there too.”I probably turned a bit white. Still, I find the power to ask:“Go crazy? What do you mean?”He looks at me puzzled and answers:“When they took you out of Madara’s office you had a very severe nervous breakdown because of Naruto. You kept crying and screaming his name and refused to let the paramedics to immobilize your arm. I had to give you a sedative. You don’t remember?”I stare at him and shake my head as a “no”. He keeps going:“You probably went through a shock and this is the reason you don’t remember. Ready?” he asks then, opening the door.We have to take the elevator to ICU where Naruto is and my head starts aching in fear and guilt and the pain that comes from my arm and shoulder. I think my entire body is in a very confused state because I suddenly feel dizzy. When we get to the ICU the nurse there just nods at Kakashi and lets us pass. Before what must be Naruto’s room there is a group of people: Kiba, Hinata, Neji, Sakura and Shikamaru. I swallow the lump in my chest, getting ready for everything that will come. I deserve it anyway.The moment he sees me behind Kakashi, Kiba’s eyes are on fire. He comes to us, fists swinging in air:“YOU SON A BITCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IT’S YOUR FAULT HE IS LIKE THAT! IT SHOULD BE YOU IN THAT BED, NOT HIM!”He’s getting closer and closer and I’m pretty sure he would punch me, but Kakashi puts a firm hand in his chest and when Kiba’s tirade slows down he growls:“If you want to walk home on your own feet, go out, take some air and don’t come back today.”Kiba’s nostrils flare and his eyes are full of anger, but I’m pretty sure what he sees in Kakashi makes him give up. He walks away, throwing me a look of disgust and spits:“Go to hell, you piece of shit.”I feel the eyes of the nurses behind burning my back and Naruto’s other friends looks are on my face too and I know I should fight back in a way. Or old Sasuke would. But this ghost with a broken collarbone and an empty look is the one I am now. Kiba is right, it’s my fault Naruto is in a coma and it’ll be also my fault if he dies. The price that I paid for the answers I wanted and the closure I wanted was Naruto’s life.“Sasuke, Sasuke!” Kakashi squeezes my unharmed shoulder “go in this room and see Naruto, ok? Minato and Kushina are inside.”I nod faintly, aware that the tears are already falling down and I just want them to keep falling down until I die. I open the door and two familiar pairs of blue eyes turn to me. I only have time to close the door and then I’m in my knees, sobbing uncontrollably and keep repeating “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s my fault, I’m sorry.” I can’t look them in the face, I know I don’t even have the right to see him. I should be thrown in jail or it should be a way for me to take his place.I feel warm hands on my waist and Minato’s voice wakes me up:“Sasuke! Sasuke! Look at me, look at me!”I raise my head:“Listen to me, we don’t blame you. You didn’t make him go there, he was kidnapped, ok? It’s not your fault. If someone it’s to blame is us, because we let the ghosts of the past to catch up with our son.”Kushina comes near him. Her eyes are red from crying and her hair is greasy and she looks exhausted, but still smiles at me gently and wipes my tears off, then adds:“Go and talk to Naruto, ok? I’m sure he missed you.”Minato helps me get up and I go near his bed. There are a lot of tubes that go in and out of him and the room is filled with the cadence of his heart monitor. But probably what increases the pain in my chest is the fact that all that golden hair of his is gone, shaved, and his head is bandaged.I hear the door closing and realise Kushina and Minato left me with their son. I sit on the chair near his bed and look at him. He is pale and some dark circles appeared under his eyes and I am lost. When my parents died I felt time has stopped in that moment when Itachi’s broken voice told me they were dead. Time stopped again when I saw Naruto in a pool of blood. But right now I think time simply hates me, if it keeps flowing for me when Naruto is like this. I touch his left hand – is mostly cold and lifeless. I whisper:“I’m sorry….I…I’m sorry..Naruto……but please, God, please….don’t go” a powerful sob shakes my entire chest “please don’t go, Naruto. Please wake up, whenever you want and you can, but please wake up..” I hid my face in my left arm “this is not the price that I wanted to pay for the truth.”I stay there, crying, who knows for how long, when Kakashi puts a gentle hand on my left shoulder and says:“Sasuke, you need to go back to your room and take some painkillers.”I look at Naruto and back at him and Kakashi adds:“You can come and see him tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. The nurses will let you visit him.”I stand up and follow him out of the room. Minato and Kushina both hug me carefully on the hallway, telling me to come again the next day. Hinata and Neji are not there anymore, only Sakura and Shikamaru. Sakura has red rimmed eyes and a harsh look on his face:“Sakura!” Kakashi silently growls at her and she jolts a bit, but keeps the silence. Shikamaru pats me easily on the healthy shoulder and declares, leaning in so that Sakura, who went to sit on a chair doesn’t hear him:“Don’t worry. All this drama is for nothing, he’ll wake up. It’ll be fine.”And I want to believe him.The next two weeks are a succession of painkillers, chest shaken by tears, nightmares and numbness. Kakashi comes to visit me every day and insists that I should go and see Naruto and talk to him. At first it’s so hard for me to go in that room again and again and to hear no answer for him, except that cadence that tells me his heart still beats. But Kakashi keeps encouraging me, so by the time the second week ends I find a way of dealing with Naruto’s silence.As for Itachi, he comes back in my hospital room a few days after our fight. The anger on his face is gone and it’s just sadness there. We’re both silent at first and I trace lines with my usable fingers on the hem of my arm sling. His onyx eyes follow the movement, until he speaks:“I’m sorry for what I said. I lost it.”It should be just words, but I feel their weight pushing the air in the room to the ground. I inhale and face him:“I’m sorry too. I…I didn’t think it’ll end like this.”He finally looks at me:“Why did you go there?”“I called Naruto. Madara answered and asked me to go for a “chit chat” I..I wanted to get Naruto out of there.”Itachi frowns and pinches his nose:“You need answers” he states.Do I? I feel like in a span of a day I lost so many things for those answers that now I don’t want them anymore. They won’t help me navigate through this situation…I nod anyway and he starts speaking:“The investigation against Madara started when our parents died, but there was another investigation that began years before. It had something to do with Namikaze INC, as you already know.”I flinch, does Itachi knows about the hacking thing?As if he would read my mind Itachi answers:“I know about Nagato’s computer, we’ll get to that too” I sigh and he goes on “that investigation had began because Minato’s family felt something was wrong in the way he lost the company. Now, long story short Minato had a partner: Obito Uchiha. He showed great business ability, so Minato started to trust him entirely and let him deal with more and more projects. At a certain point, Madara contacted Obito..now, the reason why - here the things get a bit complicated. Our father’s company, Konoha INC, was initially founded by Madara and someone named Hashirama Senju” he pauses and I remember Madara called Naruto “Senju heir.”“Hashirama married Mito Uzumaki, and as you can notice by her name, she was the sister of Kushina’s grandmother. When Hashirama died, he left two clauses in his will. One was that if he dies or Madara dies, the company must be taken by the next generation – an Uchiha or a Senju. The shareholders at that time decided that our dad was the most suitable future CEO. But that meant Madara lost the company and he hated that. Along the years he tried to get that back, but our dad refused to let him have any connection with Konoha INC. Madara had.. some questionable business ethics. So, he tried to steal the company in another way. He met Obito, find out who he was, find out that Namikaze was in a partnership with Konoha INC. He deceived Obito and he entered into a money laundering scheme. Obito was young and ambitious and he wanted power and glory. It was easy to use him as a puppet.”He takes a deep breath and scans my face:“Are you still following me?”I nod and he adds:“So, Madara made Obito meet someone called Kakuzu. He had a lot of connections with the Yakuza and owned a bank, that was a dummy company – they made money from selling weapons to Yakuza or other pseudo-terrorist organisations in Japan or around the world. Kakuzu lended money to Obito, he invested them in shares in Namikaze INC and convinced the shareholders to remove Minato. The shareholders refused at first, but then Obito gained more power because he was buying their shares and well, they gave up. When Minato walked away, Obito thought that was it, end of story, he was the CEO and everything was fine. He figured he was just a puppet when Madara blackmailed him that, if he doesn’t give Namikaze INC to him, he’d reveal the money laundering thing. Obito freaked out, realised what he had done and vanished, not without giving Madara what he wanted. Madara then used Namikaze and his connections to Kakuzu and his fellows to put pressure on our dad’s main shareholders. He disguised everything in the need to merge Namikaze with Konoha INC. The shareholders refused, dad refused this for years, so Madara used Kakuzu as a weapon.”He stops again and tears are forming in the corner of his eyes. The steady tone of his voice changes into a pained one:“Kakuzu and Hidan, the guy who hit you with the chair, they are the ones who killed our parents in the car accident. They made dad crash the car in that bridge and then pushed the car over the cliff” I shut my eyes and try to breathe properly. Itachi stops but I make a move to make him keep going.“When our parents died, Madara convinced Konoha’s shareholders that I was too young to inherit the company. He stole Hashirama’s will, so the shareholders never found out about the second clause: that one was related to Mito. Hashirama wrote that if an Uchiha or a Senju are not suitable to take over the company, then an Uzumaki or someone related and with some business knowledge should take it. Which meant 8 years ago that Kushina or Minato could have taken Konoha INC and in the present it meant you or Naruto could have it. This is why he found Naruto and you and this is why he tried to kill you both. You are the suitable heirs now, accordind to Hashirama’s will. This is where Obito comes back in the story. He tried to pay for his mistakes by providing ANBU, along the years with bits and pieces to make the investigation move forward. I think Naruto told you about the invoices that showed the fraud at Namikaze.. he gave us other things, but two months ago he sent us the second clause in the will. It was the proof that Madara should’ve been removed.”“He had the clause in the will all along?” I ask.
Did he torture us all these years?
Itachi shakes his head:“No, but he stole it. Madara became arrogant. He knew that the ANBU division or the police couldn’t catch him. He had a lot of power and bribed a lot of people, so along the years he paid less and less attention to the small people who entered the company – you know, secretaries, cleaning ladies etc. We had someone in the interior – an agent named Rin Nohara who played the role of an intern for a future secretary role. Obito knew her from school, so he risked to get in contact with her and told her that the will had a second clause and the answer was in that piece of paper. Rin took the clue seriously, searched for the document and made a copy of the will. But, in the same time, Madara’s henchmen found Naruto and you, they saw you together at Ichiraku. Being paranoid, he decided he has to kill you before you steal his company.”He breathes in and I do the same. All these things are too much for me now.“What happened to Obito?” I ask.“He surrendered one day before you went to Madara. I’m pretty sure he won’t get the punishment he deserves because too many years have passed since then and he provided valuable information to ANBU along the years. Madara is dead, Hidan too. Now we just have to find all the people that let this happen. I suggest you not to open the TV. The reporters are like hyenas these days. We blocked their access to the investigation, but they know Madara was killed in an “ANBU division vast operation”.I lean in to the night stand near my bed to drink some water, while Itachi stares at me:“Probably next week, if you feel good and Kakashi” he grimaces at this “ approves, Rin will come to talk to you. She initially was the one who talks to the victims of these type of cases. We just want to match your testimony with mine, Kakashi’s, Nagato’s Uzumaki, Naruto’s parents, Shikamaru Nara’s and Suigetsu’s.”I jolt at that:“Shikamaru was investigated? Suigetsu and Kakashi too?”He gives me a weird look:“Well, Shikamaru hacked an ANBU agent computer, Suigestu is considered an accomplice. Kakashi is ultimately an ANBU agent and he provided you, a civilian, with secret information. Nagato Uzumaki did the same with Naruto. They’ll probably take disciplinary actions against them.”I probably turned white:“Shikamaru will go to jail?”Itachi smirks a bit:“I don’t think so, because the situation is complicated. Shikamaru’s and Suigetsu’s involvement helped us to identify some of Madara’s network in Japan, plus that our security system is flawed. So, it depends. ANBU had added along the years special clauses when it comes to judging his cases. Sometimes it’s not what you learned in school.”“But Kakashi still comes here” I observe.“Yeah, that’s because of your mental state. He claimed that it’ll be easier for you to collaborate with us if he’s still here, but he’s still investigated. You’re at the moment he’s only case.”A look between disappointment and sadness is plastered all over his face.“You’re angry with him and with me”.He raises his eyebrows at that and shrugs:“I am, but it’s done. We’ll assume consequences.”“They’ll interrogate Naruto when he wakes up?” I whisper.“Yeah, he is the last piece of the puzzle. Then it’s the trial, if we find everything we need.”He gets up and clears his throat:“I have to go” he fixes me with a serious expression on his face “Sasuke, this is the whole truth. You were right, in a way I let my intentions to protect you grow into ignorance. I kept you away from things that maybe could have made you feel better. This is why you searched for answers in other places. Hope you’ll forgive me for that.”“I…” I don’t know what to say….he turns to walk away when my silence becomes unbearable and I blurt out “Will you give me a hug? I’m not convinced you’re sorry”.
I can’t believe I tried to make a joke in this moment.
It’s the first time in years I feel my body burning in the need of a hug from Itachi. I feel exhausted and scared and confused and it’ll probably take me months to deal with any of this.He turns to me, puzzled by what I said. He raises and eyebrow and repeats:“You need a..hug? From..me?”I nod shyly and he blinks:“Are you sure? You hate people touching you.”
I hated, now I just need people to fill this void.
I nod again and he comes easily near my bed and hugs me carefully. We stay like that for a while until I become again that boy who was mesmerized by Itachi’s profile when smoking, on the roof of our house. I think he remembers that too, but he chuckles suddenly. When he looks at me, that gentle spark is there and I least I know he’ll forgive me.“I’ll come next week. We’ll be busy, but Kakashi will come” he says.“Be careful” I whisper “if I lose you, they can just shoot me in the head already.”“Don’t talk like that!” he warns me and adds “I’ll be careful. I promise.”He walks away letting me alone with my scattered thoughts. Rin Nohara is a short girl, with chocolate brown eyes and chocolate brown hair. Although Kakashi told me she must be his age, Rin looks like a 20 years old and talks like one. She has a gentle smile on her face while she interrogates me and a soothing tone in her voice. From time to time, she glances at Kakashi, silently asking him if she can keep going or not. She asks me too, but I just want to tell my side of story and end this. Besides, I need to visit Naruto. She lets all the difficult questions about my parents or the incident at Konoha at the end and patiently waits until I form some coherent phrases. Her warm eyes encourage me when I stutter with my words and a tender smile appears again on her face when I finish what I wanted to say and it makes sense to her.After two hours of talking, she leaves my hospital room, squeezing my healthy hand and telling me to have faith that Naruto will wake up soon.But Naruto doesn’t wake up by the end of summer. Soon the days start getting that autumn vibe, September bringing monotone sky and moody rains here and there. He doesn’t wake up not even for his birthday on 10th of October, but me and his parents still hum “Happy Birthday!” in his hospital room, attended by that rhythmic beep that is so familiar to me. October changes the colors of the leaves in shades of red and the temperature drops lower than usual.I finish my kinetotherapy for my right arm and the sessions for PTSD with Kakashi. He and Nagato receive disciplinary punishment and are not allowed to take missions for a year, but at least they let Kakashi still be my therapist. As for Suigetsu and Shikamaru, their situation will be decided when Naruto wakes up…Suigetsu tries to convince me to go back to law school, but I can’t do that. If Naruto can’t take back his life, I don’t want to take mine. I spend my days between my apartment and the antiseptic smell in his hospital room. I visit him everyday, doesn’t matter who is with him at that time. On most days Kushina and Minato give me wide smiles when I enter the room. The bad days are when I find Kiba’s mug in the room and the monotone days are when Sakura is there. When it’s just me and Naruto, I play music on my phone or read him from my favourite books or from his favourite books, that Kushina brought me. Some of them are things that Naruto had to read for school, then fell in love with the book itself, like “Camera Lucida”, by Roland Barthes, which is a treaty about photography. Now I understand why he was so obsessed to take the photos back in the days I was going to his parents restaurant.November conquers the pages of the calendar faster than I expect, finding me on the morning of its 12th day in the hospital cafeteria, drinking something that has nothing to do with a coffee. I try to finish my cup when Kushina rushes in, calling me with tears falling down her cheeks and saying only one word “Naruto.” I follow her and on the way to his hospital room and I do something that I’ve never thought I will: I pray. I pray to a God that I rejected since my parents died. Still, I pray to him again and again and again to save Naruto and not to take him away from me, even if I deserve it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The minutes I spend climbing the stairs to his room are probably the longest in my life. Finally time has found a way to take revenge on me, stretching every piece of moment into years of cruel waiting. Kushina doesn’t say anything either, which makes me think that she called me so I can say goodbye to him, but if this is the case, the moment I’ll say goodbye to him, I’ll say goodbye to my existence too.We finally, finally enter the room and I catch a glimpse of two people hunched over the bed. One is Minato and the other one is a nurse, who keeps repeating “He’ll come, please stay still.”The monotone cadence of the heart monitor that filled the room until yesterday now turned into am irregular frenzy and a wave a relief enters my chest when I realize the sound would have ceased at all if he was dead.Minato turns to us and speaks:“Look, he’s here, he’s here.”Coming closer to the bed, I realise that beside the irregular frenzy of the heart monitor, there is another sound, a faint whisper, a fragile one that you can hear only if you don’t speak. What confuses me it’s that the whisper repeats my name.When the nurse moves away his eyes bore on mine, piercing the muscles and bones and staring straight into my soul. Naruto looks extremely fragile and exhausted. He lost a lot of weight in this three months and the edge of his collarbone can be seen through his hospital shirt. His lips are chapped and pale and his hair, which grew back after the surgery, but it’s still shorter than before, stays in all directions. But, beside his fragile state, there is something in him, still full of life and that sort of agitation that belongs only to him: his eyes. God, those sapphire eyes that obsessed me from the very beginning are now glued on my face, while his lips repeat the whisper-mantra “Sasuke, Sasuke.”The nurse asks me:“Are you Sasuke?”I simply nod, not being able to remember how to speak.“Then, please talk to him. He doesn’t want to calm down at all” she says frustrated.My brain finds the power to move from where I froze before and I approach the edge of his bed, Kusina and Minato and the nurse leaving me some space. Between the moment I decide to move and the moment I’m finally near the head of the bed, I start crying silently and he starts crying too, the monitor signaling that his pulse has gone crazy again. Hearing that I panic a bit, forgetting that maybe I am not supposed to touch him, but I lean in and hug him and whisper in his hair:“Stop crying, I am here.”He keeps whispering “Sasuke, Sasuke” and starts sobbing I think, but after a while he calms down.I give him some space and sit near his bed, sill holding his hand. Kushina and Minato come closer too, his eyes now wandering between the three of us.The nurse breaks the silence:“Wonderful, now because you calmed down, will you allow me to change your heart monitor?”Naruto gives her a look, but it seem that whatever disapproval was there before is now gone.We give her some space and she changes the electrodes on Naruto’s chest with different ones, the new sound being a little less scary than the previous one, which imprinted along these months in my brain.“I’ll go and bring doctor Tsunade” she adds before leaving.Kushina and Minato and me are still crying, while Naruto’s eyes follow the traces that our tears leave on our cheeks. He frowns after a minute and whispers a weak “Stop cryin’”. We immediately obey, wiping away our tears and giving him different versions of pained smiles. I think I give him only a pathetic excuse of a smile, but I honestly cannot think anymore, like my brain is out of functions, being able just to replicate one phrase “Thank you, God.”The doctor comes back. She’s a tall woman with long blonde hair and sharp caramel eyes. Her voice and posture makes me think of a military general. She checks him up, listening to his heartbeats, checking his pupil reflexes with a flashlight and asking him basic questions like his name, if he knows who we are and if he has any idea why he is here. He answers slowly, in the same whispered voice that sometimes breaks from the effort or hoarseness. The doctor turns then to us:“He seems to be out of danger, still his body is in a very fragile state. We’ll need to perform some tests on him in the next hours, but overall he looks like a very lucky guy.” Then she invites Kushina and Minato to discuss with them outside, not before pointing at me:“I understood from Shizune that he keeps asking for you. As far as I know from doctor Hatake, you two will probably become a package….” she grimaces at this “but I’m afraid when he’ll have to leave for tests you’ll need to get back home.”I want to protest, but I figure this is not the time or place to be an asshole, so I just nod, while Naruto frowns.Shizune, whom I suppose is the name of the nurse, checks him one more time, before leaving us alone.When the door closes Naruto sighs, his fingers lightly squeezing mine. He then turns his eyes to the window, frowning when he notices the silver sky and the heavy rain. I follow his movements and figure this doesn’t look like July to him anymore, so I explain:“It’s November. You’ve been away for three months.”He turns to me, eyebrows frowned and I reach without thinking and smoothing the line with my other hand, adding:“Don’t be upset. It’s ok.”He blinks, looking a bit surprised by my touch, then he inhales and relaxes, squeezing again my hand.“My voice?” he whispers then, searching the answers in my eyes and making my stomach clench for too many different reasons.I shake my head:“I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but I’ll ask your doctor, ok?”He frowns again and adds:“Don’t go.”I swallow, trying to ignore the sudden pain in my chest, caused by my breaking heart, most probably:“Naruto, this is ICU” I say patiently “there are rules. I already broke them because I came to see you everyday. I’ll come tomorrow, I promise. However, by the time you’ll be over with the tests I’m sure you’ll be already asleep.”He pouts, but doesn’t protest anymore. When Tsunade and Shizune come back to take his bed into another room, I give him one last hand squeeze, while his eyes are speaking louder than his broken voice, reminding me that he doesn’t want me to go.I can’t stay calm when I get home and spend more than an hour with my brother on the phone, talking to him about Naruto. He gets so concerned about my mental state (I can’t have private calls with Kakashi anymore), that he and Shisui come to my apartment to make dinner. Still, I don’t fell asleep at all and wake up around 7 PM already counting the hours until I get to see Naruto again, at 11. You would expect me to be knocked out after all the emotional rollercoaster from the day before, but instead I am in a state between fear and giddiness.I roam around my kitchen to prepare breakfast at 8, when my phone rings.“Ummm, Sasuke?” Minato speaks.“Minato-san?! Something is wrong with Naruto?! Is he ok?!”Minato chuckles:“It’s ok, Sasuke…but I think he goes through a phase or something. He doesn’t want to eat his breakfast if you’re not here….”I frown. He doesn’t want to eat his breakfast without me? In the background I can hear Shizune’s frustrated voice, telling someone that “your dad talks to Sasuke and he’ll come”.“I’ll be there” I tell Minato, rushing to the stairs in my bedroom to get dressed.When I get to the hospital, the nurses in ICU tell me Naruto’s room is now in a normal section and I go there. Entering the room I discover a pouted and frowned Naruto, his arms crossed over his chest and a strange looking Kushina and Minato, with expressions between concern and amusement plastered on their faces.Naruto raises his eyes and his pout goes away. Kushina and Minato smile at me and explain:“He woke up at 8, asked about you and started pouting when Shizune told him you can come only during visiting hours. He refused to eat, frustrated Shizune and doctor Tsunade until they both gave up and called us and Kakashi. Kakashi said it’s better if they allow you to come…”I have a feeling Kakashi could have said something else, but I hide my amusement.“Did you eat, Sasuke?” Kushina asks.“Ummm, no…” I say a bit embarrassed. “I rushed here”.“It’s ok, we’ll get something for you too. We haven’t eaten either” they say, letting me and Naruto alone in the room.“So” I say sitting on the chair next to his bed “will you eat now that I’m here?”He nods, pointing at a remote near his bed. I take it and change the angle a bit, so that he can eat properly.Shizune enters the room with a tray with his breakfast and gives me a look, then warns him:“Prince Charming is here. Eat.”She looks extremely frustrated and I can barely hold my laugh. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, but I this entire thing is pretty funny.For breakfast on the menu is greek yogurt and banana. I look at the food, then at Naruto. He gives the spoon on the table some questionable glances.“Can you eat on your own or do you want me to help?” I ask him.He moves his eyes between me and the spoon and answers in a hoarse whisper:“Only with the yogurt. My hands are shaking.”I nod and open the yogurt and take the spoon. He seems totally embarrassed at first, but then I can see him relaxing, almost as if he starts enjoying me feeding him. He eats the banana on his own, when Kushina and Minato come back with some coffee and a sandwich from Starbucks and they hand it to me.Now it’s my turn to feel embarrassed. But I respond with a stuttered “Thank you” and enjoy my meal.Shizune returns half an hour later, checking if he ate and telling us we need to get out because she has to change Naruto’s urinary catheter.At the door I ask Kushina:“They don’t allow him to go to the bathroom or to walk?”“It’s too early for that, it seems. He’s in a very fragile state and even staying straight for more than a half an hour gives him dizziness” she answers.“Recovery will take some time” Minato observes, patting my shoulder.“And Sasuke needs to be a part of that” Kakashi says, startling all of us.“What are you doing here?” I ask him and he explains, scratching his nape:“Doctor Tsunade called me. I’ll talk to Naruto for a bit.”Minato and Kushina look at the time frowning.“It’s everything alright?” I ask.Minato sighs:“It’s the restaurant. Because of the visiting hours in these three months we didn’t close it. As you know it’s our only income. But now Naruto will need us and we don’t know how to deal with this.”“I-I can help. I can stay with him” I stutter.They both stare at me and Kushina adds:“I think it’ll be hard for you Sasuke, as you saw, he is moody.”I shrug:“We’ve known each other since we were kids. I think I can handle. Besides, he lost so much weight that if I need to carry him I’m sure he’ll be as light as a feather.”Kakashi intervenes:“Moreover, as far as I can tell, Sasuke is his way of dealing with the trauma and the weird state after the coma. So, I think it may be a good idea, but I’ll tell you for sure after I talk to him.”Kushina and Minato wait another half an hour until Kakashi talks to Naruto and doctor Tsunade. Then, they invite all of us to a discussion in Tsunade’s office. She has a determined look on her face, her sharp eyes scanning all of us from time to time:“Things are like this at the moment: Naruto is out of an immediate or big danger as a stroke or brain damage or whatever scary scenario. Still, his immune system is down. His muscles have lost their mobility and he easily gets dizzy. Walking or standing will take a lot of time. Also, it seems he can’t watch the TV and as we noticed yesterday and moving around on wheels causes him more dizziness, even nausea. Getting into a car will be difficult. At this moment I think it’s best if he stays in hospital for the next month. Being a victim of an attack makes things even more complicated. I talked with doctor Kakashi and it seems Naruto’s memories are intact. He remembers everything, even if he gets easily confused. We didn’t talk about specific things or painful ones, but it seems Sasuke’s presence calms him and helps him to overcome the situation.”At this four pairs of eyes stare at me:“Taking this into consideration, we’ll make an exception for Naruto and let Sasuke stay with him, if you want, of course” doctor Tsunade says.I nod, a bit more enthusiastically than I wanted. She narrows her eyes and adds:“But this will mean you’ll have to pack personal things for a month and talk for two hours with Shizune about the way you can take care of Naruto: feeding and changing his position in bed, walking and sleeping and other activities. Of course, some things as medication and others will be performed by Shizune.”Minato, Kushina and I all look a bit confused:“Isn’t this something a nurse would do – the basic things also, I mean?” I ask shyly and Tsunade exhales loudly and raises her voice a bit:“Well, yes. But, it seems he woke up as the king of stubbornness and told Shizune that he categorically refuses a nurse to take care of him.”She pauses and fixes me:“As I always choose the best for my patients, I’ll do the same now. Usually, patients that wake up from coma always react differently. Some of them can walk alone the next day and are discharged after a week, some of them have big loss of memories and some of them start acting like different persons. Naruto’s mental state seems to be fine, as far as I can tell. And as I saw yesterday and today, there are chances to improve the things if Sasuke is here. So” she says leaning back in her chair “ if you all agree with this plan, Sasuke can bring his stuff today and while Naruto sleeps, Shizune will give him all the instructions.”Minato, Kushina and I stare at each other, silently debating this. At the end Minato speaks:“Well, we know Sasuke for a long time and we trust him. If he agrees, we’ll agree too.”Doctor Tsunade sighs in relief and Kakashi intervenes:“Well, this being settled we know what the plans are for the next month.”We go out of the office, after I agree with Minato and Kushina about the way we can deal with this and their visiting hours. Kakashi tells me I can go and inform Naruto about the news, but on the hallway he catches my hand and stops, while Minato and Kushina go to say “goobye” to their son for the day. Kakashi’s eyes turn into that warning/scolding/giving advice state and he starts speaking in a serious tone:“Sasuke, if you agreed with this you know how important this is” he pauses, his eyes boring into mine with an intensity that shows me he means something else than what he will say:“If you break him now, he’ll be broken forever, do you understand?”My breath hitches in my lungs, still I answer in a determined voice:“I know. But I won’t break him, I promise.”He stares at me a bit more and when he convinces himself I’m honest, he pats my shoulder:“Very well, now go to him and remember to tell Itachi about this. Don’t forget next week we have a session too, ok?”I nod and wave at him, while he walks away.I enter Naruto’s room and he seems half asleep already, but his eyes fix mine when he sees me approaching.“Sorry to wake you” I say gently and he slightly shakes his head as a “no”. His eyes dart between the hand he let on the bed and mine. I inhale and take his hand in mine, seeing how his eyes widen at this. I try to act as indifferent as I can, although in my mind I can’t stop the giddiness that comes along with the gesture and the warm feeling of his hand in mine.“I understood you protested about the medical services” I try to joke and a faint smile forms on his lips “ so I offered myself as a nurse” I add and the smile turns into a total grin, that grin of his I missed so much. He squeezes my hand and whispers:“Thank you”.I shrug:“Don’t worry” I say. I want to add that it’s my fault that he’s like this, but it’s not the moment. Instead I tell him something else:“Although, you’ll have to tell me if you feel sick or I do something wrong. I have no idea what taking care of an ex-coma patient means, ok?”He nods and I add:“Ok, then.” I watch the clock on the wall. “It’s almost 11.30 and you’re sleepy. I have to go home and pack some things and then get instructed by Shizune. I’ll be here by the time you’ll have lunch.”He blinks and smiles faintly again and closes his eyes. After I make sure he is asleep I leave the room and go home to pack.   It takes me four hours to go home, take everything I need, convince Itachi and Shisui I can do this, drive back to the hospital and get “instructed” by Shizune. She tries to explain to me everything slowly and to also make me understand why I have to do certain things in a certain way. I use the opportunity to ask about Naruto’s voice and Shizune explains to me that it’s common for patients that had been intubated for a long time to have problems with their vocal cords after. They were not damaged, but because Naruto’s system was weak his throat will heal a bit slower than usual.When I get back into his room I feel like a medical encyclopedia, but at least I know I’ll be able to take care of him. They put a bed for me near Naruto’s and a nightstand to store my stuff. I brought clothes, my laptop and convinced Shizune to share her fridge with me when Itachi will bring me food. She called me “sly”, but agreed anyway. At least we were on the same page, although at first she seemed that kind of bitchy nurse.Naruto wakes up to take his lunch, then falls back asleep and wakes up again for dinner. He doesn’t say much in that day, but Shizune already told me that probably for the first week he’ll be like this, having energy only to eat and stay awake for limited periods of time.However, as Naruto is not always following the rules, when I come out of the bathroom the next morning, at 9, he is awake, moved his bed on his own using the remote control to stand and his eyebrows are frowned, hands crossed and lips pouted. He looks like a child and a part of me wants to laugh at this image, but the other one, the medical encyclopedia one, realizes something must bother him.“What’s wrong?” I ask patiently.He doesn’t look at me, focusing on a point in the bed around his feet. He stays like that for a while, then sighs and whispers:“I hate that thing.”I suppose he refers to his heart monitor. This one doesn’t make that sharp beep as the other one, but instead creates some sort of buzz that even I find annoying sometimes.“Your heart monitor?” I ask.He faintly shakes his head as a “no” and throws his left hand on the edge of the bed, wiggling his fingers suggestively. I roll my eyes and put my hand over his, asking again:“Then what?”He gives a side glance to the right side of the bed and I figure he’s talking about his urinary catheter.“Your urinary catheter?”“Yeah” he says.I exhale:“Naruto” I try to explain to him calmly “they said you can’t get out of bed yet and you can’t stand up. It’s better to keep that a little more until you’ll be able to walk to the bathroom.”He turns his head to me and purses his lips, whispering again:“I want that off.”He pauses and his expression turns from frustration to sadness:“Please, Sasuke. You can take me to the bathroom. I promise I’ll stand.”By the end of the phrase his whisper cracks badly and when I don’t reply in any way the heart monitor shows his pulse goes faster. I squeeze his hand:“Ok, ok, calm down. I’ll talk to Shizune, but I don’t promise anything” I warn him. He sighs and squeezes my hand back.After breakfast I go to Shizune’s office. She raises her delicate eyebrows and observes:“Mister Stubborn Pants demanded something again, right?”I sit on the chair near her desk and start mindlessly touching my collarbone on the place where it was broken:“He wants his urinary thing off” I tell her.She immediately answers:“That’s out of discussion now.”I exhale:“Come on, Shizune-san, I can take him to the toilet.”“I said it’s out of discussion” she retorts.“It’ll make him angry. He doesn’t like that. He woke up with a pout and when I tried to explain to him, his pulse was already up.”Shizune fixes me:“I don’t care he throws a fit everytime he doesn’t like something. This is too dangerous for him now. Beside, you can’t carry him.”I click my tongue in disapproval:“Oh, come on. He lost almost 20 kg. He weights as much as a 5 years old! I can carry him. I’ll carry him if this will make him feel better.”I pause then soften my tone:“Please, Shizune-san. I promise I’ll take care of him. If I can’t handle this I’ll try to convince him to keep the urinary thing.”She gives me a weird look and after a few seconds of analysis she replies:“Has anyone ever told you that you’re very convincing?”The corners of my mouth arch a bit:“No, but I’ll use this in my advantage from now on.”She shrugs and goes to the sink to religiously clean her hands:“Go and tell him I’m coming to take that off.”
Job done!
An hour later Naruto asks for toilet, his eyes trying to look anywhere else, but not into mine. I breathe in and try to remember the steps Shizune described for me: first a pause on the edge of the bed, feet touching the floor, then get up easily and stand straight, with a support for a while, then walk if it is possible. I follow these steps with him, while my brain registers how skinny and fragile he is, like sand that slips through your fingers or a feather in the wind. He closes his eyes when it’s time to walk and I understand the dizziness is too much for him. So I gently take him into my arms, princess style, and he hides his face in my shoulder, most probably out of embarrassment. However, we manage to get to the bathroom (he’s sooo lightweight that it scares me), I leave him on his own with the door slightly open and when he whispers my name I remind him to wash his hands and in no time he’s back in his bed.“Good?” I ask, sitting on the chair near him and arranging his pillow a bit.He scans my face and observes:“You were hurt too.”I give him the glass of water he pointed and explain:“Yeah, broken collarbone and dislocated shoulder. I wore a sling arm for one month, then went to kinetotherapy for another one.”“Was it painful?” he adds after sipping from the glass.I shrug:“Yeah, but I’m fine now. I had too many things on my mind back then.”He starts playing with his fingers, avoiding my eyes:“And now?”“Now?” Now I am less broken than before because you are still here “Now I’m fine, as you can see.”His eyebrows are drown together again and he throws his hand on the bed. I take it and he looks at me:“Therapy?” he asks, voice cracking loudly. It sounds so much like broken glass.“Yeah, with Kakashi.”He tries to clear his throat and more hoarseness kinda sounds fills the room until he whispers again faintly:“You look better than before.”I wonder what he means with “before”. Before the incident?...Most probably yes. I think I am better now than before the incident, but this is because now I understood finally what I was asking for, while back then I was lost in another world. Even Kakashi told me that in this three months I responded better to therapy than in all 9 years combined and that I am more and more like I was in childhood. Probably I am, I don’t know. I haven’t thought of this too much, I just let things come and go, focusing only on Naruto.“You’ll get better too” I tell him and smile. By the end of the week we establish some sort of routine and I find the process of taking care of him easier than I imagined. His parents and Sakura, Shikamaru, Kiba and Gaara visit him, which makes him more relaxed and giddy. I try to avoid Kiba, spending the visiting hours in Shizune’s office, talking to Kakashi. Shikamaru and Sakura are the only ones who ask for me and Sakura even starts to talk to me on her third visit. Itachi and Shisui also stop by to say hello to him and bring me food. Naruto actually enjoys Itachi’s hug and try to make a joke or two with him. Shisui actually manages to steal a hoarse laugh from him when he recalls that he is the guy who wanted to hit with the car the motherfuckers that broke his leg when we were kids.When they have to leave, Itachi tells me I look different and I wonder what he means. I feel the same, maybe a little bit more at peace. I remember that months ago  (why does it feels like years?) I asked myself how can you go back to a life that doesn’t belong to you anymore. I thought, stupidly, that if I’ll find the truth I’ll be able to take my life back..I was naïve and irresponsible. Truth didn’t give me my life back. Finding the truth meant to actually lose that past life forever. More than an antidote to my demons, it was like a closure. An end. Maybe this was different – the fact that I understood the sufferance of those 9 years finally came to an end and the only solution I have is to learn to start anew.On Sunday Naruto has his first session with Kakashi. It’s difficult at first because of his broken voice, but Kakashi manages to get through. He mocks me saying that Naruto is a better patient than I was and that he actually wants to get better. I can’t describe how happy this makes me.The Monday of the new week finds Naruto pouted again, ready to make a new demand:“I want to take a bath” he declares, this time looking me in the eye.I pinch my nose and fight back:“Shizune cleans you with a wet sponge every day, the steam will make you dizzy. You can’t have a bath yet. Wait a little bit more until next week.”He crosses his hands and narrows his eyes. Now he really looks like a spoiled kid:“I want a bath.”I slap my tight, trying to stay calm:“I’ll tell Shizune”.“I don’t want Shizune to help me bath” he mumbles again, still pouted, still irreconcilable.I mirror his folded arms and ask him:“Who do you want to help you to take the bath, then? Should I call Minato or Kushina?”His lips form a thin line. He glances away, then back at me, blue orbs determined when he speaks:“You.”I raise my eyebrows:“You do realise you’ll have to get naked in front of me, yeah?”Kakashi told me that is better to think of all the sides of a situation when Naruto asks something because he’s mind now only focuses on one side of things and he might demand, then get uncomfortable.He gives me an eye roll and whispers, a bit frustrated:“I know. I don’t want to get naked in front of Shizune. I hate that she had to change that piss thing for me. I don’t want to get naked in front of her again” he says, phrase too long, voice cracking again. He pouts even more than I thought it was possible.I exhale and get up, telling him when I’m out the door:“Get ready to take a bath, Stubborn Pants.”On the way to Shizune’s office I mentally prepare myself for the process of convincing her. It takes 5 minutes, two arguments and her telling me I’m more annoying than Naruto is. I come back into his room with towels, a new pajama and a list of things: lukewarm water, duration not more than 15 minutes, carry him, not let him walk after, constantly pay attention to his breath, make sure he’s not cold.I change in some clothes that can get wet and fill the tub with lukewarm water, making sure the temperature is ok in the bathroom. I tell him:“Ok, now let’s take the bath.”He blinks surprised and stutters:“N-now?”I try to hide my smile:“Yeah, you were so bossy ten minutes ago about this. I obeyed your order.”
I can’t believe I’m teasing him..
He senses the tease and narrows his eyes, throwing away the comforter:“Let’s take the bath.”I take him in my arms and mentally prepare myself for this. I mean, not the naked part worries me, but the way I can handle this. I let him rest on the toilet and check the water again. He sits with his head down, fumbling with the hem of his pajama shirt and looking more and more embarrassed.I lower myself in front of him and ask:“It’s too hot in here for you?”He shakes his head as a “no” and still fumbles with the shirt.I catch his hands in mine and squeeze gently:“You don’t want to do to this anymore?”He shakes his head again, inhales, exhales, then whispers:“I’m embarrassed.”I patiently reply:“I understand you are, but it’s nothing there that I haven’t seen before.”At this he actually blushes for the first time since he woke up, but he reluctantly opens his arms and let’s me unbutton his shirt. Pants down, I lift him into my arms again to put him in the tub. This time I feel his nose in the crook of my neck. He still hides himself there even when I put him down in the water and I squeeze his shoulder, whispering gently:“Come on, the water will get cold.”He slowly moves away, cheeks super red, but he lets me wash his hair and then his body. I try my best not to make him uncomfortable, although my heart aches seeing all the edges of his bones coming out through the skin or the scar on his stomach where he was shot. After he’s clean I take a towel, lift him in my arms again and get him out of the bathroom, because it seems to me he started breathing weirdly. I put him on my bed, not wanting to get his wet, and dry him there. This time he seems less embarrassed. I help him get dress in the clean pajama and dry his hair too. He has a better expression than before and I realise how much he wanted this damn bath. When I put him in his bed again he doesn’t want to let go of my arms, so for a few seconds I’m stuck in his hug.“Thank you” he whispers and I respond to his hug, replying:“No problem.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In the next 2 weeks Naruto is slowly making progresses, starting to walk on his own to the door or to the bathroom. His voice gets also better at a slow pace, cracking only when he speaks too much in one day or when he wants to speak in a normal voice, not a whisper.He still can’t take baths on his own, but he got used to me so he’s not embarrassed anymore, sometimes reaching his hands out on his own to get out of the tub and in my arms. The only thing that concerns me is his weight, but Shizune says they’re trying to make him gain it very slowly.He even talks about the attack, telling me one day how Hidan shoved him into a car when he went grocery shopping and took him to Madara and how Madara himself broke his ribs by punching him in order to make him reveal where my apartment was. But Naruto didn’t answer because he didn’t know. As for our car argument, he doesn’t say anything and I don’t push him..yet.He looks more and more happy everyday, even teasing me sometimes or laughing when I joke with Shizune. Kakashi agrees that he is better too and we decide together Rin could come and talk to him. You can say he returns to the way he was, but to me it seems he’s different in some ways. His fragility makes him vulnerable and needy. Silence scares him, so he just asks me to tell him stories or play some music. And then, it’s his need to feel someone close physically, to be touched or his hand to be held. Honestly, I changed after the attack too and physical contact doesn’t bother me anymore, so if he holds my hand or hugs me after baths, I respond..Well, it doesn’t bother me for a different reason – something that I know was there, before all of this. I know because it was in the back of my head every time he looked at me or I was mesmerized by his blue orbs..but I ignored it, pushed it aside, obsessed by that truth that I thought will solve all my problems.I admit to myself I’m probably in love with him at the end of the second week, when he asks me in that fragile voice of his to play some music on my phone. I give him the phone and he hits play on Yiruma’s “Kiss the Rain”. When the notes of the piano start filling the room, his azure eyes bore into mine and my heart stops, then starts to repeat to herself and to me “I like him, I like him”. And those words keep echoing in my entire being until I ask myself “why?” and as an answer I get flashbacks from our childhood and from the last months.You know how there is always someone in everyone’s life that storms in and crashes all the “principles” you built along the years? All the walls? All the lies you told yourself so many times you even started believing? I figured Naruto was that kind of person for me. He barged into my life when we were 12 and started bringing down my ideas about family, friendship and childhood. He made everything more colorful, more dynamic, more enjoyable. Then he disappeared, only to barge in again years later, with even more force, showing me that things like affection, sacrifice, justice or truth were not as I imagined. And now, it seemed to me he was in to change one more thing – my idea about love and new beginnings. And I know he doesn’t see me that way and he’ll probably never see me that way, but it doesn’t matter. I can handle being only his friend as long as he allows me to be a part of his life.At the beginning of the third week Rin comes to talk to him and get his statement. The moment she enters the room and smiles at him I see Naruto relaxing. They talk for three hours, but only two are about the statement. The third one is filled with a conversation about everything and nothing that both Rin and Naruto seem to enjoy.“I talked to Naruto, the trial is going to be next week” Rin tells me on the hallway.“The investigation is over? You found everyone?” I ask, a bit surprised by how fast they moved.She nudges one of my sides and rises on her tip-toes to whisper in my ear:“Sasuke, this investigation has been going on for years. This is just the part were we found the loose ends.”She finishes this with a wink and Kakashi just shrugs, commenting:“All my friends respect religiously the rules of ANBU about disclosure, as you can see”.I snort at that and observe:“Will Naruto be ok? Did you ask doctor Tsunade?”Kakashi nods:“It will exhaust him a bit, but she said if it’s just a day, it’ll be ok.”I can’t believe things finally arrived in this point, then before the relief fully takes over me I remind myself there is a will that specifically states an Uchiha or a Senju should have the company, even if the company is probably compromised at this point.“What will happen with Konoha INC.?” I ask Rin and Kakashi.They turn to me in the same time, both having a partly concerned, partly expressionless look on their faces:“You’ll have to talk to Itachi about that.”I click my tongue, frustrated that I actually got no answer. After Kakashi and Rin leave I text my brother:Sasuke: “Hi..we need to talk. Do you want to have a pitiful excuse of a coffee at the hospital’s cafeteria? It’ll be lunch soon and I don’t want to leave Naruto alone.”The answer comes in a few seconds:Itachi: “Be there in 20 with two Americanos from Starbucks.”Until my brother arrives I go back to Naruto, forgetting that Kiba, Neji and Hinata are supposed to be here today. The moment I open the door my eyes fall on Kiba’s mug, which immediately narrows his eyes.“Sasuke, hi!” Neji says, a bit too excited.“Umm..hi!” I answer politely. In the last weeks I limited the interactions with this side of Naruto’s friends. Shikamaru, Sakura and Gaara’s siblings, along with him, formed that part of Naruto’s friends that was reasonable and easy to be with. Especially Shikamaru. Similar to Naruto, they didn’t hold grudges for long and tried to see all sides of this shit we got ourselves into. And they wanted the best for Naruto, so if Naruto wanted me to take care of him, they simply accepted that.Neji, Hinata and Kiba formed the other side. They’ve been here less times than the others and still had anger or hostility flicker in their eyes, always concealed in polite greetings (Neji and Hinata) or aggressive silence (Kiba).Naruto’s blue orbs fix on mine:“Will you be here for lunch?” he murmurs.“Yeah, I just need to talk something to Itachi” I tell him.He inhales and smiles at me:“Ok, I’ll wait for you” he replies, three pair of cold eyes scanning in detail the exchange. Kiba lets out an annoyed puff of air that I simply ignore, excusing myself and going out of the room. I prefer to wait for Itachi at the dull hospital cafeteria, than avoiding Kiba’s attempts to bite my ass.When I’m close to the elevator hurried steps behind me make me turn around.Neji stops in front of me, looking like he regrets the decision of getting out that door. His hair, which used to be long in elementary school is now even longer and the grey in his eyes got a steel nuance, making his appearance cold, almost unapproachable. I don’t remember talking much to him during school years, except the time we aggressively teased each other to hide or simply to consume a bit of the antipathy we had for the other one.“Yes?” I ask him, not being sure if he’s going to start cursing at me as Kiba did months ago or he’s going to spit something in that arrogant voice of his, as he did when we were kids. He takes me by surprise though when he starts speaking:“I just wanted to thank you for being there for Naruto. It would have been difficult for his parents to deal with the entire situation.”I tilt my head to a side and look at him:“It’s my fault in a way, so I just wanted to pay for my mistakes. As much as Kiba wants to believe I am a heartless son of a bitch, I am not.”Neji opens his mouth to say something, changes his mind and closes it, then opens it again:“You seem more reliable than before” he declares.I pinch my nose:“I made therapy” I reply ironically.He senses the sarcasm and narrows his eyes, still I notice his amused tone:“Painfully honest, as always.”I shrug:“More like arrogant, I think”.He shrugs too and adds:“Naruto doesn’t seem to be bothered by that, which is actually the thing we all want.”“Came here to call a truce?” I directly ask him.He inhales and bores his steel eyes into mine:“Honestly, jokes and antipathy aside, I come from a rich family too. Too many rules and too many things that people want from you tend to turn you into an asshole. So, I understand why you were in a certain way when you were a kid. As for now” and he makes a gesture with a hand to emphasize the present “I think even for me it’s hard to put a label on you and declare you are in a certain way or another.”“And putting a label on me is necessary because…?” I ask him.“Because or better said for Naruto. There are not many things that connect us. You and us. I actually think Naruto is the only one. You don’t seem attached to the past and, frankly, we are not attached to a past with you either. But Naruto is and have been, and will be, most probably. Kiba tends to hold grudges like a child and to push people to do as he says. Hinata is too shy to actually speak her mind. Along the years this made us to kinda lose track of Naruto and who he has become. And then this happened and we found ourselves in a hospital hallway, all brought together by him. Again. He’s the link for all of us. It just dawned on me in there, when I saw him looking at you in that way, that you are important for him and that if we want to keep him in our lives, we have to find a way to accept you too.”“Even if you don’t like me?” I push him.Neji runs his fingers to his long hair:“I personally didn’t like you when we were kids, in this sense of like and dislike. But we’re in our twenties now and I think like and dislike should be more meaningful. Naruto told me in his first year of faculty that firsts impressions are important, but people change. So, I’ll go on with that idea in mind.”“I see” I retort pensively and scan his face “I don’t know if I should say thank you or simply let this sink in, but, as you said, Naruto is the core here. As we want the same thing for him, I’ll just say thank you for…um…tolerance.”He lets a puff of air out and in a corner of his mouth a discreet smile has formed. I greet him with a nod of the head and go into the elevator.Itachi arrives at the school cafeteria 10 minutes later with two steaming hot Americanos. Outside, November is angry, a freezing cold wind announcing the approach of snow and a shitty winter. Just wonderful autumn weather….“What did you want to talk about?” my brother says, opening a sugar packet and throwing it in his Americano.“Rin and Kakashi came here today to interrogate Naruto. They told me about the trial.”He’s mixing the coffee now, onyx orbs on my onyx orbs:“You’re concerned about Naruto and the trial?”I sip in the Americano, is bitter, exactly as I like it:“A bit, but that is not why I asked you here.”He sits his chin in his hand and comments:“You’re concerned about something else….”I look to the gunpowder grey sky from outside, then back at Itachi:“What will happen with Konoha INC.? Part of the end of this story is connected to dad’s inheritance.”Itachi’s eyes wander around our two coffee cups, my face and the window:“I’ll inherit it, if you’ll agree. Minato already said yes. Naruto doesn’t want the company.”I blink at him, processing everything and answering his implied questions:“I don’t want the company.”“You don’t?”I shake my head determined:“No, I don’t. I thought I wanted that as I thought I wanted Madara’s death and those answers I kept torturing you about along the years. These lasts months made me understand that I don’t want and most probably don’t need those things.”“Then what do you want?” he says, scanning my face.I pause for a while, pondering in my head if I want to let the words out. But this is my brother and too many things gathered along the years between us, too many unspoken things. And I don’t want that anymore. I just want to be able to love Itachi freely, without thinking about mom, dad or Madara. Because Itachi is still here..and this is all that matters.“Naruto. A new beginning. You and Shisui to be happy.”Itachi tries to hide his smile and he teases me, voice strangled by the suppressed laugh:“In that order specifically?”I actually start grinning at him and answer:“No, although I hope Naruto is on the first or second place” then my expression changes “ or in no place at all.”Itachi’s look changes too and he nudges me with his feet under the table:“Ask him after the trial, Sasuke.”I grimace:“He’s been in a coma for three months. It feels wrong to go at him and ask <<Hey Naruto, I’m usually gay and now I’m gay for you. What do you think? Up for a fuck?>>”.Itachi gives me an eye roll and pushes:“Your sarcasm is still there…have you thought about honesty?”“This honesty might destroy our friendship. I don’t want to push him and I don’t want to lose him because I want something that he cannot give me” I retort.Itachi leans in his chair and crosses his hands on the chest, a serious look on his face:“I think Naruto liked you since you met again months ago, but he didn’t know how to deal with this since he’s been straight up until now. And if you were as cryptic and vague as always, this confused him even more.”“And you think three months of coma made things clear?” I observe ironically.Itachi tsches me and declares:“My advice is to simply put things on the table after the trial. If you keep silence, you already now what silence does when it is stubbornly kept.”I shrug and get back to the company:“So you’ll be CEO?”“Of a compromised company, yeah. Still, it is our inheritance…”“And the other Uchihas?” I spit. I can wait to see the hyenas again at court for the trial.Itachi laughs sarcastically:“Don’t worry. The bitches wanted the company when it could provide. Now when it’s just trash, it’s unimportant for them.”I purse my lips:“Motherfuckers…”.Itachi actually smiles:“Glad to hear you’re back.”I hit his leg under the table, but then smile at him too:“I’ve been away for too long.” The rest of the week passes in a rhythm I’m already used to: Naruto makes his usual journeys to the door and back everyday, he asks me to play music, he eats and sleeps and demands hugs and warm baths.I don’t know if he does the hugs thing on purpose, but even for me this starts to be some kind of natural step in the construction of a day, something that I don’t want to avoid or forget. The warmth of his body and the relaxed breath he lets out every time I pull him into my arms creates little butterflies in my stomach and a joy so small, so fragile, still so powerful.On Sunday doctor Tsunade asks me and Naruto’s parents to go into her office for another very serious discussion. She said the last set of tests that they did on Naruto showed he could go home and come only for another check up in a month. Minato starts fumbling with his hands and Kushina throws me a shy smile.“Something is wrong, miss Uzumaki?” Tsunade asks.Minato clears his throat and explains:“You see, we started renovating our house before Naruto disappeared. When he was in coma we ceased any sort of work in our house and we kinda started things again a month ago, when he woke up…but now there is dust everywhere, the ceiling in his room doesn’t exist anymore and sometimes the heating doesn’t work in the entire house….”“Not a proper environment for a patient, I see” Tsunade completes, scratching her chin pensively.Then, as if it would be some sort of order, three pairs of eyes fix me and Tsunade narrows her eyes, asking:“Do you live alone, Sasuke?”I let my eyes waver between the three of them and answer:“Yeah, my brother bought me an apartment. It’s kinda new.”“And clean, right?” Tsunade inspects, with her caramel eyes glimmering in the neon light of the office.“Yes” I say, trying hard to hide my grin, because by now I know where this is going.Minato inhales and says:“I know you already did a lot for Naruto, but do you think you could accept him as a roommate until we finish with the mess in our house?”I smile at both of them:“Actually, I wanted to suggest the same thing…I mean, he already got used to me and I kinda got used to him, I don’t think one more month together will matter” I say, trying to fight the huge grin that threatens to paint my entire face at the thought that me and Naruto will spend another month together. It’s so unnatural for me to feel like this, still I cannot deny this flutter in my stomach.Minato and Kushina smile and Tsunade speaks again:“Very well. I understood tomorrow is the trial. When that finishes you can take Naruto directly to your apartment. We’ll discharge him in the morning.”I nod and Tsunade adds:“Also, tomorrow it’ll be really hard for him, both physically and emotionally, so, if you feel something is wrong, Sasuke, immediately bring him here.”That being said, I find myself, half an hour later, with Naruto and his parents in his hospital room. With every word Kushina reveals about me and him living in my apartment, Naruto’s grin grows wider on his face, until it gets to his ears. I tease:“What makes you so happy?”He frowns immediately and mumbles:“If you don’t want me to live with you, just say.”“And if I say that?” I question him.Now his lips are completely pouted and he fixes me, face serious, trying to figure out if I mean what I say. His parents barely can hide their laughs. He crosses his hands, voice cracking violently again when he wants to speak louder:“If you say that, I’ll stay in hospital.”I nod pensively and add:“I see” a pause and sadness creeps in his blue eyes “too bad I’m not going to say that. You’ll come home with me tomorrow, after the trial.”Minato and Kushina nudge his leg on the bed, but now he’s frowned again, realising we made fun of him.“Asshole” he whispers, but a shy and frail light in his eyes makes me think that that word is more like a sign of affection than an insult.When Minato and Kushina give me their usual hugs at the hospital entrance that day, they both add a warm “thank you” and a part of me just wants to tell them that I should be the one grateful to them for Naruto… and for their forgiveness. The day of the trial is difficult and exhausting for all of us. Naruto refuses to get into any other car, except mine to go to court, but even in mine he keeps his eyes shut all the way there. I try to take turns and to break as easy as I can, but he still looks pale when we arrive there and I have to support him until we enter the building.The judge accepted that Naruto’s condition demands special treatment, so they scheduled my testimony and his at the beginning of the trial and then the only thing will have to do is to attend. Unfortunately, they said they can’t let Naruto go home.The ANBUs hired two attorneys for this case, while the other side, meaning the shareholders that were on Madara’s side, his accomplices and some other suspicious partners had each two attorneys. Obito pleaded guilty, so he’ll just receive his sentence.Shikamaru and Suigetsu refused to get an attorney, saying that they’ll accept the punishment for their little involvement in this shit.After Naruto and I tell our part of the story, the judge takes everything from the beginning, asking Obito to talk, then Minato and Kushina, and then, gradually, everyone else who stepped into the money laundering scheme, the pressure that they put on my father, the crime, the aftermath. It’s like all those years suddenly shrink in just a few long hours. 7 most exactly and that’s because ANBU specifically asked everything to be done today. It is the longest day in my life and probably in my brother’s.At a certain point, after lunch break I turn to look in the room and realize is full with ANBU officers, even the ones in the management, then all old Rookie 9, Uchihas and then, in a corner, Karin and Jūgo. So many people, and yet, along the years, I always felt the fight was just in my hands and my brother’s. The ANBUs all have sharp eyes and frozen expressions, fixing the culprits from time to time with hateful looks, even disgust.Around 6 PM the judge asks for a 30 minutes break until giving the sentences. On the hallway a woman with purple hair from ANBU comes and hugs Naruto. I recognize her from the picture Kakashi showed me months ago:“Don’t worry, they’ll rot in jail” she says, releasing Naruto from her arms and ruffling his hair. He smiles at her and points at me, whispering:“This is Sasuke.”“Konan” the woman greets me.Then Nagato comes, along with Karin and Kushina and I probably look a little surprised at how much they actually look alike, with their red hair. Nagato narrows his eyes at me and Naruto and jokes:“Next time when you decide to hack my computer you can just ask me, I’ll give it for free.”“Bullshit” I hear Itachi’s voice behind me “you’ll double the price after they’ll ask.”Nagato snorts and soon a circle is formed in the middle of the hallway, with Uzumakis on a side, Uchihas on the other and Rin, Kakashi and Yahiko, Konan’s fiancé, in a corner. I have to admit, all ANBUs have weird jokes in them, but at least they make Naruto smile and forget how tired he is.When the break is over we head back to finally hear the end of this story. Obito gets 5 years in a special facility of ANBU, where he’ll be an economics teacher for juveniles, because his involvement helped the investigation along the years. The shareholders that helped Madara and his other accomplices get each 8 years of jail. There is no one sentenced for murder because Madara is dead, Hidan is dead and it seems that Kakuzu, the guy who helped Hidan to kill my parents is also dead, killed by Madara.Shikamaru and Suigetsu get 6 months of community service and the judge tells Shikamaru that after he finishes his study the ANBUs wait for him.Minato gets compensation for losing the company, but I don’t pay attention to the numbers anymore, thinking only that it is finally over. Naruto has his hand into mine, squeezing it faintly as if he reads my mind. I don’t really know what we talk to the others after the trial ends or what bullshit the other Uchihas spit about my brother. The only thing I pay attention to is that flicker in Naruto’s eyes that I’ve never seen until now, that glimmer that pulls me towards him. Maybe is just the stress and this is my way of relieving it, maybe it’s the tiredness of the day, maybe there are all those years that were so hard to carry, I don’t know. I just grab his hand, tell everyone we’re heading home because he feels exhausted and head to the car. Naruto falls asleep on the way to my apartment and I carry him in my bedroom, turning on the lights in the house and getting him ready for the night. He doesn’t even move when I start undressing him and then putting one of my pajamas on him. When everything is over I just cover him with the comforter and watch his sleeping face. Naruto in my bed is something that I’ve never thought I would see and I regret I haven’t had the chance to see it up until now. He looks beautiful, even if he’s still too skinny. At least his blond locks are back at the length they used to be, although to me it seems that the colour changed because he was shaved and it’s a bit lighter than before.He sleeps soundly, chest falling and rising slowly, so I stretch my arms and my legs and realise it’s probably time for me to go to sleep too. After my night routine is done, I lean to the left side of the bed, letting Naruto’s steady breath lull me to sleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

We wake up the next morning very late, at 11.30, the cold December day greeting us with a..blizzard. When I open my eyes the windows are frozen and full of snow and I can hear the wind making a chaos outside.Over the night Naruto migrated from his side of the bed into mine, now his head resting on my shoulder and his right arm thrown over my waist. His hair is in all directions and I can still smell the faint scent of his coconut shampoo. His body is warm and I fight a sudden urge to kiss the top of his hair. Instead, I decide it’s better to wake him up and tell him where he is. At least with this I have an excuse to run my fingers through those gold locks (my hand itches to do that) and calmly tell him:“Naruto, come on, wake up”.At first he doesn’t even budge, so I let my fingers wander on his nape:“Naruto, aren’t you hungry? Let’s eat, it’s morning”.This time the food temptation works – he stirs and slowly open his eyes, moving the arm over my waist a bit and touching around. I scan his face and realize the sudden change in environment confuses him. Tsunade warned us that this kind of thing might happen especially in the morning – Naruto will recongnize faces, but sometimes it’ll take time for him to remember how he got into a certain place. He whispers:“Where am I?”I gently grab the hand around my waist and interlace my fingers with his, the gesture another pathetic excuse to touch him:“You are in my apartment. We got here yesterday after the trial, remember? You were asleep.”He frowns a bit, blinks a few times then declares:“Looks fancy” although he stared around without a target.I snort:“Thanks”.He looks around then, finally figuring out he is over me and his shoulders tense.“Don’t worry” I say immediately “it doesn’t bother me.”His eyes find mine and he starts blushing furiously, stuttering:“Y-y-you should’ve pushed me.”I scan his face and observe:“I should have, but I didn’t want to”.Because his cheeks turn crimson I decide to give him a break and add:“My apartment has two floors, ok? The kitchen and living room are down stairs. I’ll show you the way, but if you can’t descend on your own I’ll help you.”The change in subject relaxes him and he moves away to let me get out of the bed. He gets up and waits in the middle of the bed until I come back from the bathroom. I find him staring at the window and mindlessly touching the fluffy blanket that I put last night over the comforter.“Am I wearing your clothes?” he asks suddenly.I go near him just in case he wants to get out of the bed and explain:“Yes. Yours were too big and I was afraid you’ll tangle in them over night. I think you’ll have this problem with all your old clothes. They are still too large for you.”He looks at me and reaches for my hand to get out of the bed:“Sorry”.“For what?” I ask frowning.He finally stands up, supporting himself on my shoulders, like Tsunade told him:“Well, I kept you in hospital with me, now I’m invading your apartment and finally I’m stealing your clothes…”.“If I didn’t want all these I would have refused” I tell him, probably staring at his blue eyes that look out of this world in the white light which comes through the window. For a while he doesn’t say anything, staring back at me. Then, out of nowhere he declares:“I feel like we’re flirting and we do a bad job at keeping this subtle.”I’m totally taken aback by this, bursting into laugh and realizing I haven’t had this kind of reaction for years. A faint smile appears on his face and then, with every second that passes turns into a huge grin:“What?!” he asks, still smiling widely.I shake my head and fix him:“You’re very observant this morning….” I pause for a moment to let all the giddiness of my outburst go away and question him, this time tone more serious:“Would you mind?”His eyebrows raise in curiosity:“Would I mind what?”“If I’d be flirting with you” I answer simply.His eyes wander around the room a bit, as if he’s looking for an answer or he’s waiting for his mind to form it, then he studies me:“I know you want me to answer vaguely, but it seems these days I’m bad at pretending. So, I’ll just burst things out as I always did: no, I wouldn’t mind if you’d be flirting with me. Although, I hope you’ll do more than that.”The phrase is obviously long and his voice cracks again at the end, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance. I’d love to avoid the subject, but it seems he just jumped into it, not giving two shits about the fact that one month ago he was in a coma. I guess Naruto was like this even when we were kids – straightforward, hating people that hid themselves or were vague because the truth spoken out loud scared the crap out of them. The problem is now I don’t know how to respond..I mean I’d love to just jump into this, whatever this is, but he’s still recovering and I don’t want him to regret after. What if he got attached to me just because of the trauma and after a while he’ll realize he regrets everything? I don’t want to cause him pain, I don’t want to break him completely, as Kakashi warned me.I sigh:“Naruto, you don’t want that” I warn him.He crossed his arms:“Why do you think I don’t want that?”I frown:“You really want to talk about this? As right now?”His lips form a thin line. He looks determined:“Yes, because if we don’t address things now, you’ll just keep me in the land of vague things forever, as you always do.”I click my tongue:“I’ve never kept you in the land of vague things.”One eyebrow up in a mocking expression at me:“You didn’t? Then the “I don’t want to be friends, but I do every stupid thing you ask me” from childhood or the “I don’t want to spend time with you again after 9 years, but I stare at you all the time” since May – what are those?”I open my mouth to say something, then shrug and try to recompose myself:“Those were what they were, it was nothing vague with them.”He puffs in frustration and growls, voice rusty:“You think you’re very good at hiding your feelings under that asshole mask, but the truth is you’re just very bad at it.”I pinch my nose:“You woke up with a whole plan in your mind, isn’t it?!”He fixes me, eyes ablaze:“I didn’t. It just came up. You said I drive you crazy. Now I’m trying to be honest with you and tell you that if you want you and me to be something I’m not bothered. I even want that. But now, you hate this too. I think you still don’t know what you want, even after all this time.”He pouts, jaw clenching and he fixes the window. I massage my temples, trying to figure out what to do. I don’t know what to do. Give him what he wants? Does he really, truly wants this? Give myself what I want? At least I know I want to be with him and it’s not because of trauma, it’s because I always wanted this. Since May. Maybe since forever.“But you’re straight” I say.He throws his hands in air in exasperation and turns around:“Fine, you’re still an asshole, pulling out all sort of excuses. Fine, we’ll do as you say. Where are the stairs?”My stomach jumps in all directions right now, because to me it looks like a totally inappropriate moment to discuss his relationship with me. And there are so many things that might push him this way, without him to actually want this in reality. I sigh, now I know why Itachi and Shisui pestered me to ask him if he’s gay before. At least that would have cleared the air.He stops where the stairs begin and studies them. I go near him and take his hand into mine, even if at first it seems he’ll refuse my help. He gives me a look and squeezes my hand:“Are you ok?” I ask him calmly.“I feel a bit dizzy, but I think I can get used to this.”“Don’t look down” I say “look at me and I’ll guide you.”His jaw clenches again and he exhales loudly:“You really do a great job at frustrating me.”I tsch him and snarl, now really losing my patience:“You can’t throw a fit every time things don’t go as you want.”“At least I know what I want” he mumbles in a passive-aggressive tone.We descend the stairs slowly and when we arrive at the base he lets go of my hand, pouts and goes to the table in the kitchen, throwing himself on a chair and pursing his lips.He stays upset all morning and calms himself down only when his parents come in visit to check us up. The moment they leave he stops pretending, eyebrows furrowed as he stares at the TV on the sofa.His knees are under his chin, the bones of his elbows piercing the grey sweatshirt I gave him to wear. I tap my forehead, searching for a solution to deal with this. If he stays upset like this for long he’ll end up with a headache and a high blood pressure and Tsunade will fuck me up…Come on, Sasuke…deal with this I mentally kick myself in the ass. After some painful minutes in silence I whisper, fixing the screen of the TV just like him:“I’m scared…I don’t know how to deal with what you want. And …I’ve never apologized to you.”The furrow on his forehead goes away when he turns to me:“Why? It’s us, it’s not like you don’t know me.. and you don’t need to apologize. You didn’t shot me.”I turn to him too, praying that my heart would calm down and stop pounding in my chest:“It’s not that…” a breath “ I..I think you might want this because of the trauma, not because you want this in reality…and I need to apologize. Of course I need. I used you, Naruto. I wanted just to find who the killers of my parents were. And those things I said in the car. I…” my hands start shaking now “you don’t understand. I was ready to give you up for the truth. To give our friendship up. I was a stupid piece of shit and I’m sorry. So sorry. I can never erase this. It was a mistake, my mistake and you paid for it. I’m sorry.”He lets his knees down and now I can see the edges of his collarbones. The skin has a faint caramel shade, memory of last summer and a few freckles, that are already familiar to me. I know he has them, like stars constellations, all over his back and on his nose and under his eyes, but those are really small. He inhales deeply, getting ready for a long speech:“ Sasuke, those things you said in the car, they don’t matter. You were upset and I was upset too. But I can understand why you wanted to know, because I wanted to know who made my parents leave Japan too. So, this is why I think you don’t have to apologize. And I really don’t think you would have given our friendship up. You never did, not even when we were kids. As for us, you think my PTSD will push me towards you” he observes. I just nod. He keeps going, whisper frustrated again:“Then you are completely stupid. My PTSD gives me confusion in the morning when for a few seconds I don’t remember the day before and sometimes nightmares with Madara, as you know already. The fact that I am attracted to you and I started to be curious about you and me in that way doesn’t have anything to do with what we’ve been through.”I turn to him completely now, crossing my legs on the sofa:“Then if it is like that, why you didn’t say anything before? Before the incident. We spent so much time together. Why now?”He mimics my gesture, bringing his legs on the sofa too:“Because, just like you, I hesitated… and know I just decided to do it because time might steal our chance again.”And I figure that during my sessions with Kakashi he told me once that Naruto felt uprooted as a kid. In a blink of an eye he had to move all the way from Japan in a different city on a different continent. He made friends easily and got attached to them. He got attached to me and then I suddenly disappeared, leaving him with an emptiness that he struggled to fill in his teenage years and after. When I came back he was happy, but he also remembered the pain of losing that little sense of stability he fought so much to get back. I understood him and his fear for time, for not enough time.I move on the sofa, getting closer to him and nudging his knee with mine:“We have time. It’s over now”.He grimaces:“That it’s over, but life still goes on. Besides, I kept you from going back to school.”I shake my head:“I didn’t want to go back. It has nothing to do with you. I’ll return and finish my studies next year.”He still looks sad and frustrated, because, in a way, I still avoided the answer he demanded, so I get even closer and let my fingers comb his hair. His eyes grow wider and bore into mine, almost like commanding me to break the silence and say what he wants to hear or say anything that could stand as an answer. I sigh and tell him:“If I say we’ll take this slow and learn together, will you stop acting like a brat?”It takes him a few seconds to realize what I said and then literally throws himself into my arms, causing me to gasp. I tsch him and he giggles in that cracking voice of his:“You’re my boyfriend now”.I pinch his side and he whines:“You little – seriously Naruto, you have to be patient. I’m not all lovey-dovey all the time.”He snorts in the crook of my neck:“Yeah, I know. Your natural state is the asshole one.”I click my tongue:“Say something snarky again and I won’t help you get to the bedroom.”He hugs me tighter and mumbles:“Fine, fine.” The fact that we made that something that was between us official didn’t change many things. However, it gave Naruto the freedom to touch me whenever he wanted, to cuddle at night or to simply demand affection without blushing furiously or without having to hide behind false pretenses. It was relieving for both of us, although we didn’t push things more than the usual hugs and touches. Frankly, I was dying to kiss him, but that wouldn’t have been fair, taking into consideration how adamant I was about not dating or not beginning something. So, I just let him set the pace for us.It’s Saturday and he’s snuggling under the orange fluffy blanket I bought for him two days ago, watching TV in the living room. I’m glad that he is actually watching TV now, being able to focus on what’s going on on the screen. Someone rings the bell and I figure Sakura must have arrived – she promised Naruto she’ll visit him. He wants to go up and open the door when I warn him from the kitchen:“Stay right there!”He jolts and stick his tongue out:“I’m not disabled”.While I’m heading to the door I mock him:“No, you’re too spoiled”.I open the door to find a muffled up Sakura, jumping from a leg to another and near her, Kakashi. I frown:“What are you doing here?”Sakura gives him a look and answers:“Can you let us in first?”I do so and the moment they enter the room I hear Naruto’s whisper:“Kakashi, what are you doing here?”Sakura growls and comments:“I swear they are twins”.Naruto frowns, with his fluffy blanket draped on his shoulder:“Are you in a bad mood today?”Kakashi answers instead of her:“She’s not. How are you, Naruto?”He immediately forgets Sakura and smiles:“Better than ever. I can actually watch TV since two days ago.”Sakura starts unwrapping herself from the winter clothes while I head to the kitchen to make some coffee. Naruto is not allowed to drink it yet, so I just ask him from there:“Naruto, chamomile or orange?”He raises two fingers, which means orange. While I move around the kitchen Kakashi silently comes near me, having that curious expression on his face:“What’s with the orange blanket he keeps around him?”I pour the coffee in mugs and answer indifferently:“I bought it for him.”Kakashi nods, trying to hide a stupid grin. I narrow my eyes:“Why are you smiling like that?”He shrugs:“Nothing, he looks..very attached to that thing.”“He’s just damn cute, that’s all” I declare, figuring out two seconds later what the hell I said.Kakashi blinks, then his expression changes into something mischievous:“Aha….he’s cute….I see….”I growl:“If you start teasing me with that you’re out the door.”He shakes his head and adds, tone more serious:“You don’t waste your time, do you?”“We talked” I confess “he wants this.”Kakashi turns to look at Naruto, who is now laughing with Sakura about something. Naruto catches my eyes and smiles, while Sakura gives a shy smile to Kakashi. I turn to him and it clicks in a way. I’m just curious how this happened:“She’s much younger than you” I observe, opening one of the drawers to pick Naruto’s orange tea.Kakashi jolts a bit and fixes me:“You’re annoying when you’re so observant.”“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to be subtle” I retort.He sighs:“I know she’s much younger. I’ve known this since May.”I give him a look:“You’ve been going out with her since May?” I question “nice that you said shit about this.”He tilts his head:“Are you sulking now? That I haven’t told you about my dating life?”“Well, you know who I fucked…” I growl.He stares at me:“It doesn’t explain why I was obliged in any way to tell you I’ve been dating her.”I click my tongue:“Fuck off”.He pushes:“Speak clear, Sasuke. I told you this is your problem.”I groan in exasperation:“Fine, I thought by now you figured you’re not just a motherfucking therapist for me…I just thought you could’ve told me.”I raise my voice a bit, which makes Sakura and Naruto to turn to us with wary eyes. Kakashi ignores their reactions and observes:“I was just going to warn you about Naruto, but it seems he makes you more transparent, which is what I tried to do with you in the last years…so just keep going.”I swear that urge to punch him in the face suddenly comes back:“Just fuck off. I don’t even now why I wanted to tell you’re like a friend to me or whatever.”He starts laughing at me:“You are fond of me, I know.”I take the tray with the mugs and rush to the living room while he still teases me.On the sofa I sit near Naruto, while Kakashi sits near Sakura. He clears his throat and asks:“Plans for Christmas?”“I think my parents will visit us” Naruto answers.“And Itachi with Shisui” I add.“Will you come too, Sakura?” Naruto innocently asks her.She avoids looking him in the eye and starts fumbling with the coffee mug:“Actually…Naruto…uhm…”He studies her, confused, while Kakashi studies him:“We’re dating” he blurts out, receiving a judgemental look from Sakura.Naruto blinks a few times and blurts too:“I’m dating Sasuke too.”I almost drop my coffee mug and turn to him offended:“You really don’t know how to be subtle, do you?”He grins:“I already told you I don’t.”“You could’ve waited.”“Yeah, in the land of vague and unspoken things again” he teases me. I growl:“Nothing is vague now. Why are you bringing that up again?”“Because if I wouldn’t have pushed you, you’d still be a cold bastard” he retorts.“Pushed me? You mean forced me by making a scene like a spoiled brat you are.”“You spoiled me, why are you so offended now?”We’re both teasing each other, as we did in the last week since our discussion, but Kakashi and Sakura seem completely taken aback by the way this goes on. Kakashi clears his throat dramatically and declares:“If you want someone to ruin an announcement, you two are perfect, seriously.”Naruto grins and I’m sure he’ll shoot something:“Well, you and Sakura probably met, liked each other and started dating. Simple and boring. On the other side, me and Sasuke met, hated each other, became friends, did some nonsense as kids, separated, met again, denied our feelings, got into some mafia like stuff, been shot, coma, secret services and all, trial..and we’re finally together now. You have to admit” he stops a bit because his voice starts cracking “we’re more interesting than you are.” He finishes his speech with a proud smile.Kakashi puffs:“Meaning you’re more gay than we are”.Naruto starts laughing and Kakashi starts recalling how they met, when Sakura, who was a medical student, had to attend a conference where Kakashi spoke. They started talking and as Naruto says, things went smooth.Half an hour later I’m in the kitchen to make Naruto a snack with fruits when Sakura approaches with wary eyes. I notice her and say, voice a whisper so that Naruto and Kakashi won’t hear us. They started watching an anime on Netflix, however.“You want to talk to me.”Sakura nods, analyzing how I cut the fruits for Naruto’s salad:“I didn’t know you were gay.”“I don’t recall telling you” I reply simply.“Naruto didn’t say anything either” she says.“I guess he thought it was better if I say that.”“Sasuke” she begins, voice steady “I don’t know who you became. You just came back in Naruto’s life out of nowhere last spring. He didn’t say anything about you at first. And then you just dragged him into everything”.She pauses, her teal eyes scanning my face, trying to connect things and events, trying to understand. If Naruto didn’t tell them anything I guess it was pretty hard on his friends to find out one day that he was shot.“I know. I know it was my fault he was shot. I’m just trying to clear the shit, ok?” I defend myself.“By dating him?” she expresses her suspicions.“Ok, so you don’t like me and him together, right?” I challenge her.She ruffles her hair a bit and retorts:“I didn’t say I don’t like it. I’m just saying this doesn’t seem right…at this moment.”“For you and Kiba it’ll never be right” I observe bitterly.She exhales and fixes the windows:“Kiba is upset because he knows how much Naruto suffered after you left. Did you know he searched for you until highschool?”Her tone sounds accusing now:“I know. I know everything. Kakashi told me.”She pushes:“Then if you know why you didn’t give him time? Sasuke, a relationship with him, now, after everything is…is not a fair move.”“For him or for you, his friends?” I growl.She jolts a bit, studying me:“Don’t be an ass. We’re not trying to control his life. We just… now…what do you want me to tell you, Sasuke?” she sounds exasperated now.I frown, cutting the banana with violent moves:“Tell me the truth. You come here patronizing me, when the truth is you just want to bring some shit out from the past. You want to tell me your grudges. Tell me, then” I spit.She clenches her jaw:“You have a strange way of making him forget how much he suffered because of you. It didn’t matter how much he endured because of you, you just showed up one day and he forgot about us. This is why Kiba was so angry -  because it looks like you manipulated him.”I let some air out of my lungs and grin sarcastically:“He’s not a kid. Besides, I kept my distance from him.”“Yes, you kept your distance until you dragged him into that shit with Madara Uchiha.”I throw the knife on the counter:“What do you from me Sakura?! You and the protective army you and Kiba rule for Naruto?! Do you think I don’t know I was batshit crazy when I met him in May? I knew it, I knew. He just kept pulling me towards him. He’s not important just for you, he is important for me too. And he was. Since we were kids, I just couldn’t show that as you did.”“He is important for you, but you don’t love him. I do. Kiba does, Shikamaru does. We all do. We love him and we don’t want you to ruin him again.”I clench and unclench my fists. My nails dig into the skin of my palms painfully and I really hope I will bleed:“What makes you believe I don’t love him too? Maybe more than all of you?” I snarl at her and this time I’m pretty sure Kakashi and Naruto heard, because even if the volume of the TV is high, they don’t laugh anymore. They just seem to be listening to what we say.She fixes me, dumbfounded, as if she still isn’t sure if I said what I said. Or maybe is something in my eyes that caught her off guard. She shakes her head:“You can’t be serious with that.”“And I asked you – what makes you, all of you, believe that if I stayed away from him I don’t love him as much as you do?”“Sasuke, you disappeared without a word and when you came back you didn’t say a thing to him. He just dragged you every weekend to his parents’ restaurant and to coffee. Where is love in that?”Her voice has a strange pitch now, similar to the one it had when we were kids.“So love must me somewhere in everything, it must be seen and noticed as a full parade” I snarl “let me ask you something, Sakura. Would you jump in a relationship with your childhood friend if you parents would’ve been murdered, your life turned upside down, your brother forced to drop school to help you grow up and your mind being so fucked up that you needed antipsychotics since you were 14??!!”At the last part my voice cracks in frustration and anger. Sakura stops on her tracks again and because she doesn’t say anything and the lump in my chest threatens to make the tears spill from my eyes I keep on going:“I love him more than you all we’ll ever understand. I’ve just been so broken that I couldn’t recognize love when I saw it. But I do love him because he saved me from myself and if you guys want to make him choose between me and you, then I really don’t know what kind of friends you are.”I turn to the bowl of fruits, take a deep breath to calm my shaking hands, mix the things and recompose my face, leaving the kitchen and heading towards Naruto. Sakura remains behind and when I arrive near Naruto and Kakashi I’m pretty sure they overheard the last part, but they just pretend they didn’t. Sakura doesn’t speak to me until they leave, Kakashi being as always the one that encourages me at the door, with his teasing tone: “Take care of him, Romeo. Everything else will come around.”That night Naruto is awfully quiet while we go to bed and scans my face until I finish my night routine. When I sit in bed near him he whispers:“I’m sorry”.“For what?” I ask leaning in the bed.“My friends are rude”.I snort and make some space for him to come closer and sit his head on my shoulder:“I kinda deserve it.”He frowns as he settles near me:“Don’t say that. Even if you were wrong in the past it’s my job to forgive you, not theirs. Although there is nothing there to be forgiven.”I nuzzle his hair and inhale the coconut scent:“Thank you for forgiving me, even if you think it’s nothing there to be forgiven.”His nose touches the crook of my neck. I wonder if he thinks of what I said – that I love him. I know it’s too early for him, but I do. It just happened that I let it slip out because Sakura got me fired up a bit. And I know he might not love me yet, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll wait for him as long as he wants me and I’ll stay with him as long as he’ll want that too.“Sasuke” he calls me, his whisper hesitant.“Hm?” I mumble.He raises his head, his blue eyes lighten up by a gentle flicker that I see for the first time at this intensity:“Kiss me”.Hesitant at first, his voice was now determined, demanding. He leans in, but stops when I don’t react in any way. Nevertheless, I close the distance that remained between us, giving in my own desire to feel him like this. When his lips touch mine is like all the air in my lungs disappears, along with the entire world and the only way I can still exist is to be close to him like this. And it’s weird in a way because it’s just a peck, a prolonged innocent touch of our lips, and still, it’s so much different than any other thing I’ve experienced until now. He is the one who gets overwhelmed by shyness and breaks the kiss, before I have the chance to actually begin something more heated. He hides his nose in the crook of my neck again and I’m pretty sure he is blushing. I hug him and let me fingers of my left hand trace soothing lines on his back.“Sorry, I got embarrassed” he mumbles.“Naruto, it’s ok” I say”besides you’re cute” I add.He kicks me with his leg and I snort, before a comfortable silence settles in and we fall asleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After that day the dreams with my unknown man are back, just, this time he has Naruto’s face and it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore, but like a memory. A long and forgotten memory. We are again on that beach that I’ve dreamed before and he looks a bit older than now and he leans in and kisses me and I just surrender to him. He asks me if I’ll ever refuse him and I tell him I won’t. In the morning, the feeling that it is indeed a memory and not a dream it’s more powerful, but I don’t want to scare him with this. Although, I think it’ll be a good idea if I tell my brother about this, before telling Kakashi. He always had an explanation for my dreams, because listening and trying to figure out the meaning behind them is part of our family superstition. The rest of the month of December is claimed by Christmas preparations. Because Naruto can’t go outside, but has more and more energy everyday, he turns the holidays in that year in his most important mission. Surfing the Internet for decorations, food recipes and presents, and then making lists for me become his favourite parts in a day.Sakura doesn’t visit him anymore and I’m pretty sure I’ll never see Kiba or Neji at my door. Instead, Shikamaru with Temari and her siblings announce their visit in the same day Suigetsu, Karin and Jūgo promised Naruto they’ll come. It’s the 15th of December and the house smells like hot chocolate, cinnamon and tree, because Naruto and I decorated it the evening before. He wanders around the kitchen, making sure the food and drinks for our guests are alright, ceasing his race from time to time to catch his breath. He still gets tired when he agitates too much, but at least now he manages to climb half of the stairs inside my house without my help. He scans the kitchen and the living room and declares satisfied, with his voice having now a new stage of hoarseness (he doesn’t whisper anymore):“Looks good.”I approach him from behind, letting my arms circle his waist and placing a prolonged peck on his neck, under the right earlobe. He shivers and immediately turns to face me, leaning in and starting to kiss me. There is always something innocent when he does this, since that night when our lips first touched, although now is not just a peck. Naruto makes the line between innocence and passion disappear naturally, pulling me closer to him or licking my bottom lip so I can let his tongue dance with mine. Obviously, every damn time he does that my head starts to feel aery, like reality is and it’s not there anymore, but he usually stops before things turn into something more heated. And I know he’s not ready for that, yet.. or maybe he’ll never be, but again, with every day that passes I realize that what I want, more than anything, is to have him around me.The bell rings, making both of us jolt and he starts giggling:“Jesus, they’re here.”I give him one final peck on the lips, now turned more pink than usual and wink at him:“Get ready, Suigetsu-babe is here.”He barks a laugh and follows me as I head to the door and open it for our guests. The entire group, meaning Shikamaru, Temari, Gaara, Kankuro, Karin, Suigetsu and Jūgo, is wrapped in winter clothes, scarves and all kinds of beanies and snow it’s already on their shoulders. It kept snowing since the beginning of the month and it doesn’t show sign of stopping, as old Dean Martin would say. “Baaaabe” Suigetsu sing-songs in his snarky voice, receiving a puzzled look from Gaara and Kankuro.“Stop talking shit and come in” I growl at him and he retorts with a dramatic offended look:“I haven’t seen you in like three weeks and this is how you greet me?”Karin smashes him in the nape:“How the hell do you want him to greet you, idiot?”Suigetsu grins at her and blurts out:“Naked” and Karin smashes his nape again while I give him an eye roll. Let me be clear, I told Naruto about me and Suigetsu, even if it was definitely an awkward subject to discuss. But I wanted to start anew, without lies or turnarounds and truth was the only way I could do that. He didn’t seem affected or upset or even jealous, but he asked me, bluntly as he always did, if I still have feelings for him. And I just told him Suigetsu is probably my closest friend and I care about him as a friend or as a brother, but nothing more. Besides, he was really serious about Karin.They stop in the hallway to put the winter jackets aside and then Temari hugs Naruto tightly, followed by Kankuro and Gaara. Shikamaru just pats his shoulder and then mine, smiling widely. Karin makes him gasp by how much she squeezes him in her hug, Jūgo just shakes his hand and obviously, Suigetsu hugs him and pinches his ass, saying amused:“Babe number two, glad to see you with some color in your cheeks.”Naruto turns crimson red and stutters something, completely shaken by Suigetsu and his antics and I warn my crazy friend:“For fuck’s sake, don’t surprise him like that. He still thinks you’re not a pervert!”Suigetsu frowns innocently:“Babe, firstly Naruto knows I’m joking. Secondly, he also knows that the only thing weird about me is that I’m dating his second degree cousin.”At this Karin smashes his nape again:“I swear to God I’ll strangle you.”“See?” Suigetsu pushes “she’s the perverted one, all in that BDSM and shit.”Temari suddenly observes:“This is a very interesting gathering.”Shikamaru completes her:“And you still haven’t seen anything.”Because they were sentenced for community service, Shikamaru and Suigetsu started spending a lot of time together, sometimes even going out on weekends, along with Karin and Temari. The girls were both that type of scary women and got along well and Shikamaru was fascinated about the many ways Suigetsu knew to break the law, without being caught…Simply said, put a hacker and a lawyer with questionable morals together and they’ll get along well.We move in the living room, each of them claiming their own places on the sofa and starting to shoot Naruto questions about his health and plans for Christmas. Karin comes with me in the kitchen to give a little hand with the food and drinks:“He seems happy” she observes, eyeing me curiously.I shrug:“Hope he is.”“Are you together?” she asks, voice lower.“Yes” I simply admit and she tilts her head:“I knew you’re gonna fall for him.”“How come? I’ve never said anything.”“Yes, but after you met him again you kept rambling about how much he annoys you. I did the same thing with Suigetsu until I figured I was doing that because I liked him.”I snort:“You have weird tastes in men.”She laughs too and arranges her red rimmed glasses on the nose:“We both know he has much to offer than the idiocy he shows.”I fix her and her deep eyes flicker with a mixture of fondness for Suigetsu and the certitude that she read him well. So I just nod:“You’re right about that.”We go back to the group, catching the discussion between Shikamaru and Naruto about Kiba and Sakura. It seems the word that they have a problem with me spread in their group.“He’ll come around” Shikamaru says, taking a cookie and munching it ”he just needs time to understand.”Naruto sighs:“I feel like it’s that kind of situation when the parents totally disagree with your boyfriend and they’ll never come around.”Kankuro laughs at that, but the one who speaks is Gaara. His teal eyes show a strange intelligence and his voice is calm and collected. He fixes both me and Naruto when he speaks:“I’m not saying Kiba isn’t making things worse, but try to put yourself in his shoes, Naruto. We all can agree that the way the incident occurred pointed you and Sasuke were at fault for getting yourself into something dangerous. You both ended up in a hospital bed, but one of you didn’t wake up for months and when he did, he didn’t ask for his friends, but for the other one. Kiba thinks Sasuke stole you from us and I’m pretty sure he’s also shaken by the fact you’re suddenly gay.”“But you and Temari and Kankuro and Shikamaru are not” Naruto whines.Gaara nods and keep going:“Yes, but that is because Shikamaru had time to be around Sasuke and see he is not a motherfucker and me and my siblings always let you choose what you thought was best for you. We just tried to be around because we came in in your life later.”“That” Kankuro intervenes “ and the fact that Gaara is a psychology major.”Gaara gives him a look:“I’m not trying to make therapy with them.” “You’re not, but your major taught you to look at all sides of a situation” Jūgo says, speaking for the first time.The topic then moves to school and Suigetsu tells me what happened in ours since I gave up and that teachers want me back. Then they ask about our future plans about school and all and then Christmas things come up again. We end up rambling about all sorts of nothings for three hours until they decide it’s time to go home. After they leave I feel so much different then how I felt when Sakura was here. I remember what Neji told me on the hallway – Naruto indeed gathered a lot of different people around him and if they were all in one place it was hard to get along with all of them. But this side, with Shikamaru and the “sand siblings” (I haven’t forgot their stupid competition name) was the calm and patient side, the one that was able to judge less and listen to what Naruto wanted more. And then, there were my friends, who were a bunch of weird guys, but nevertheless genuine people who had been through some shit in their lives and were able to see beyond the surface. They knew me more than I told them and they knew I don’t jump in relationships if I don’t want that.“What a gathering” Naruto chuckles while we settle for a movie until dinner time. He finds his usual spot with his head on my lap, my fingers instantly tangled in his hair.“At least they didn’t curse at me” I say ironically and he snorts:“That would have been horrible. Karin has a really dirty mouth” then he adds amused “but can you believe that Temari and Karin get along that well, and Suigetsu with Shikamaru?”I shrug:“This is beyond my capacity of understanding. But I’m relieved at least you won’t lose all your friends because of me.”He turns to me, eyes glimmering in the light of the TV:“Sasuke, cut the bullshit. I haven’t lost my friends because of you. You are also my friend.”I scan his face. God how beautiful he is. “Are you sure you want this?”He frowns and exhales exasperated again:“Are you starting this again? I told you I want this already. If I hadn’t wanted this I wouldn’t kiss you and touch you and basically be glued to you all the time. It’s true I needed you because of the shock, let’s say, in the first three weeks after I woke up, but then, when I started therapy I just figured I wanted this all along. It’s just the timing is fucked up.”I let my fingers trace the line of his eyebrows then his jaw:“You’re a bit different than before.”He is indeed, more blunt, actually he is terrifying when he speaks his mind, but he’s more confident now and more patient. Kakashi said that sometimes people that wake up from coma might not change entirely, but something small can be different and you notice it in time. Naruto catches my hand and squeezes it:“You’re different too. And you haven’t been in a coma.”I squeeze back, relaxing in the warmth of his fingers and observe:“Maybe I was and I didn’t know.”I lean in to kiss him although my back is awkwardly stretched like that, but he pulls me toward him like a magnet and I can’t resist. Before falling completely in Christmas holiday’s celebration Naruto needs to go for his monthly check up, which means I spend half a day in the hallways waiting for him to pass all his tests, but at least Kakashi is there too and I have the chance to talk to him. At the end Tsunade calls me in her office to deliver the results. Naruto’s parents couldn’t come, so I have to take in all the recommendations.“So, his blood pressure it’s ok, same for his blood tests. He moves along well and the dizziness is completely gone. I understood he still has motion sickness in car, but that is not such a big problem. I’m not going to lie to you, he is still a bit skinny, but I think it’s better not to put to much pressure on that. He eats well and he is healthy, so take that easy. Kakashi told me his attention span has increased and I understood the TV it’s not a problem anymore. Also, no PTSD symptoms, which is again a good thing. I will prescribe him only some vitamins for his immune system, but that’s all. Now, try to tell him not to start jumping around, just because he feels better. Also” and here her expression changes “I understood you and him are in a relationship.”At this I give Kakashi a look, but Tsunade doesn’t let me to protest, picking something from a drawer and putting it on the table. I look mortified and over the limit embarrassed at the bottle of lube and the condoms package. Tsunade fixes me with that standard medical advice look and I just want to smash my head on the desk:“I’m not going to tell you not to have sex with him because that it’s not me to decide. But, I will tell you to keep it on the slow side of things and use protection. I hope you don’t want me to start explaining what will happen if his immune system meets and STD or some sort of infection”.I keep it silent, but I nod and she studies me until she’s sure I understood the message. I take the lube and condoms and put them in my backpack, mumbling “thank you”. She keeps going, this time eyes a bit gentle:“And just be careful he won’t catch a cold. Otherwise, you did a very good job with his meals and all. You looked very unreliable at first” she confesses “but you managed well, especially with his walking problems. And speaking, so I have to admit I am relieved that you two are dating.”I shrug, embarassement now gone:“I tried to do my best and to help him as much as I can. He still has a hoarseness in his voice…”She waves a hand:“It’s better than before. I think in a month or two his voice will be back completely. Give him that honey tea and tell him not to speak too much if he can keep his mouth shut.”I snort and she adds “which he can’t, but whatever. That’s all, Sasuke. Kakashi. Have a Merry Christmas! Sasuke, come for another check up in February, ok?”.“Yes and Merry Christmas to you too.”When we are out of the office I groan at Kakashi:“Seriously?!”He narrows his eyes:“I really don’t understand why are you so outraged. It’s better she gave you what you need.”“Jesus Christ, Kakashi. For fuck’s sake?! I’m not gonna sleep with him now.”He measures me form head to toe and comments ironically:“You’re not, but he ogles your ass every time he has the chance.”I literally stop in my tracks and stare at him. To me Naruto seems so innocent.. I mean I am attracted to him. His body, even if he’s skinny, makes my blood boil and the fact that I saw him naked doesn’t help. And I want him in that way, but only when he’ll be ready. I don’t want to force him and I don’t want to sleep with him just because I can, but I’ve never thought he might think about me like that. Kakashi sees how confused I am and he laughs at me:“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice. Jesus, you’re really stupid sometimes, you know that?!”“Fuck off. You know something and you don’t tell me” I growl at him.“Wanna have another embarrassing discussion with me about sexuality?” he teases, the corners of his mouth slowly coming up.“Jesus, please no” I say rushing to where Naruto waits for me.He has already his azure beanie on and smiles when he sees me:“How are the results?” he ask.“They’re good. You just need some vitamins for your immune system and don’t jump around even if it feels like you can” I give Kakashi a warning look and he doesn’t say anything about the items in my backpack that suddenly feel so hard to carry. Christmas day comes so fast that we barely have time to buy all the food and presents. As settled, Naruto’s parents and Itachi and Shisui come to spend the day with us. As a Christmas present I buy Naruto a hoodie, similar to the one he had as a kid, in pastel orange, with Erwin Smith’s words written in Japanese. I give him some other clothes like sweaters and sweat pants and pajamas, because his old ones will never fit too soon. They’re too large for him and the pants hung loose on his hips. But the hoodie is the surprise.On Christmas morning he pesters me to help him descend all the stairs faster and goes under the tree to open up his presents. This, after he pouted for a half an hour that he feels bad for not being able to buy me anything.Now he is on the fluffy rug near the tree, eyes sparkling with emotion and excitement as a child while he opens the box that has his name on it. He pulls up the hoodie and reads the Japanese characters out loud, voice cracking, this time because of tears:“Kimi ni wa nani ga mieru? Teki wa nan da to omou?”He looks at me with those unreal eyes and I wipe off his tears:“Do you like it?”He throws himself in my arms, causing the air in my lungs to suddenly go out and says:“Are you kidding?! I love it!”I hug him and kiss the top of his head:“Then that is all that matters.”“I still feel bad for not buying you anything. I am such an awful boyfriend.”I don’t tell him how proud I feel that the word “boyfriend” came out of his lips and he’s talking about me. Instead, I observe:“You’re a boyfriend in convalescence. Besides, I got my Christmas present already.”He raises his head and gives me a questioning look:“When?”“When you woke up” I say, kissing him gently. He smiles without breaking the kiss and pulls me closer to him. His body still has that warmth after sleep and it makes my pulse go faster, but I try not to think of how would it feel to have his body pressed under mine, without clothes…MY god?! What’s wrong with me?!I blame Tsunade for giving me those things and making me think about sex with Naruto.The rest of the presents under the tree are for our guests. With Naruto’s help I bought Kushina and Minato a custom dish set for the private parties that take place in their restaurant. They’ve been on the search for something like that for a long time, but Naruto said they gave up the idea because it was too expensive. So I just bought that for them – a 30 people dish set with ramen bowls, metal chopsticks, sake cup and a small plate for each person with the Ichiraku logo on it. The box is huge under our tree, but I’m happy that I found a good present for them. As for my brother and Shisui, I knew they wanted for a long time a Polaroid Camera. Most probably I know Shisui and Itachi will bring something for us, but I am pretty sure I’ll get super awkward if Kushina and Minato will take the Santa role.Around noon I hear Shisui’s car arriving and go to the door to greet them. They have huge smiles plastered all over their faces and huge present bags. I grimace:“I told you not to go over the board with the presents..”Shisui pokes my forehead:“Oww, shush! Don’t ruin my day with your nagging. It’s not much.”Naruto approaches shyly and his blue eyes grow bigger when he sees the bags:“I think it is. Now I feel even worse…” he starts whining and Itachi pulls him into a hug, mimicking his tone:“And you should stop complaining. It’s a special Christmas this year and you deserve a lot of presents.”My blond wiggles his arms in Itachi’s embrace and whines again:“Uhhh, seriously.”Shisui chuckles and shoves Itachi aside to hug Naruto too:“How do you feel, sunshine?”Naruto answers blushing:“Better. I need just some vitamins.”“And the attention span? Better too?” Itachi adds.“Yes, just the motion sickness is still there” I say.We move in the living room, Shisui proudly arranging their bags under the tree, actually near it, because there is no space left anymore. I’m ready to ask them if they want something to drink as a starter when the bell rings again, announcing Kushina and Minato’s arrival.I go to the door and we pass another stage of warm hugs and greetings. They also brought presents and a lot of home made food, cooked by both of them.We decide to wait a bit longer until we dig into all the food and I head to the kitchen to make some tea, while Minato and Itachi discuss about Konoha INC and Shisui jokes about something with Naruto. I let the water boil and I feel Shisui’s presence behind me:“Why don’t you enjoy your time there?” I ask him. He always does things like this – even if he was a guest somewhere he’d come in the kitchen and help the host. He has a playful smile on his face and I ask hesitantly:“Ok, you want to embarrass me, right?”He rummages in the big pocket of his hoodie, pulling out two items in a small bag and handing them to me:“This is for you and Naruto, but I don’t want him to have a heart attack…or his parents, as a matter of fact, so I’ll just give them to you.”I pinch my nose, making a face…I think, after the episode with Tsunade, that I know what is in that bag. Aaaand BINGO! condoms and flavoured lube. I groan silently:“Jesus fucking Christ, Shisui, really?!”He dismisses me with a hand wave:“Oh, come on. Why are you so angry?! It’s not like you’re the mother of innocent gays.”I roll my eyes and answer in frustration:“I am not, but Naruto wasn’t gay up until now and should I refresh your mind with the fact that he was in a coma for three months?”“Yeah, and this was a month and a half ago, almost two and now you’re together.”“And I have to bend him over immediately, right?” I spit.Shisui gives me that look that he has when he wants to warn me and give me an advice in the same time:“No one says to bend him over if he doesn’t want to. But don’t lie to yourself. You want him like that and if he wants that too, you’ll have what you need.”I sigh and hide the items in the back of one of the kitchen drawers: “Fine, ok.”Back in the living room we decide it’s time to open up our presents. First we open the present from his parents, which is an audio system for both of us, because they know how much Naruto enjoys listening to music all the time. They didn’t buy something for Itachi and Shisui because my brother specifically asked them not to.Then we open their presents, which are a new laptop for Naruto and winter Vans for both of us, probably my brother’s idea. It’s not necessary to say how much Naruto blushes and whines that the things are too expensive and my brother shouldn’t have spent so much for him. He’s dismissed with another “shush” from Shisui and then, Minato and Kushina open their presents. They are absolutely taken aback by the dish set, Kushina almost tearing up. Minato keeps hugging me and his son, gesture that warms my heart. Then, finally, Shisui opens the Polaroid Camera, his black eyes full of emotion when he figures what it is.After another round of hugs, kisses and “thank yous” we sit at the table in the kitchen to dig in all the food. My brother raises his glass for a toast, clearing his throat and throwing Shisui a look:“Ehm…we also have an announcement to make, besides the obvious Merry Christmas that is important today.” Shisui gets up too and smiles:“As you know we’ve been together for quite some time now and we thought this summer it’ll be a perfect season for a wedding.”Kushina’s face suddenly lightens up and Minato smiles widely:“Woow, congratulations!!”“And Merry Christmas!!” Kushina adds.Me and Naruto also get up to toast and then hug my brother and Shisui.“And Naruto, I can’t tell you how happy I am you are ok” Itachi adds “and you have a wonderful son” he says turning to Minato and Kushina “and I hope that you’ll forgive us for the problems we caused to your family.”Minato waves a hand in dismissal:“I told Sasuke already it was not his fault. Life was like that in that moment, now it changed and it’ll get better every day.”Kushina then fixes me and Naruto and keeps going:“Sasuke, my dear pumpkin pie,” Naruto blushes at that “I’ll hope you’ll be happy together. And I know, Sasuke, you have doubts about me and Minato approving this” it’s my turn to slightly blush now “but we do approve. All that we can tell you is to take care of each other and to respect each other and if you come to the conclusion that it doesn’t work, to end it in good terms.”Naruto told his parents we’re dating when they came to my apartment the second time after we moved and they just smiled, probably surprised a bit. I told Naruto not to judge their reaction as a negative answer to our relationship.After we finish eating we settle in the living room, Shisui suggesting it’s time for coffee and refusing to let me go and prepare everything. Instead, he takes over my kitchen and I go on the balcony to talk with Itachi while he picks up a cigar.He looks at the city, snowflakes flying in his long hair and wind playing with the strings of smoke. Whenever I see him like this I remember the past and it overwhelms me. However, this time I tell him something different:“Those are not dreams, isn’t it? Those are memories.”Silence settles immediately, only the wind can be heard. Itachi doesn’t move his eyes from the horizon and I almost think he didn’t hear me when he turns to me:“You had another dream.”I nod:“Yeah…this time it was Naruto.”Itachi seems hesitant, he inhales again from his cigar, then finally says:“I can’t tell you those are 100% memories. But I can tell you that I don’t believe they are just dreams. I…remember things too. I remember Shisui.”Another winter breeze ruffles his hair and mine and I comment:“It’s weird.”“It is, but it doesn’t matter, isn’t it? Whether they are memories or not, you love Naruto for what he is now, in the present. And if they are memories of a..past life, let’s say, it still doesn’t matter. Because you made a choice back then and you made a choice now. Choices define who you are, Sasuke. I think in this world there is no good or evil, there are only choices. We choose to be good or bad, to care or not, to fall in love or hate, to ignore things or to pursue them. I chose you and Shisui in this life. You chose Naruto. That is all that matters, I think.”He fixes me with his gentle eyes and smiles.“I hate that you’re the smart one between us” I tease him smiling too and he retorts:“Finally, finally, you managed to get together. God be blessed” then he stops and comes closer to me, leaning in “do you like Shisui’s present?” and he winks at me.I groan, knowing what he’s talking about:“Jesus, Itachi…like really…I’m not sleeping with him yet.”He raises one eyebrow and observes:“You do realize he’s staring at your ass, isn’t it? He’s not that innocent.” I throw my hands in the air, annoyed and get back in the house. Itachi starts barking a laugh.The rest of the day goes away fast, with a “Home Alone” marathon and another session of eating. Around 8 our guests decide it’s time to leave. We make plans to move the party for the New Year at Shisui’s place and maybe invite Shikamaru and Suigetsu. Then, it’s only me and Naruto and we move around the place tiding up.While I finish cleaning the kitchen Naruto comes from behind, hugging me tightly and kissing my nape. Goosebumps go like an avalanche of electricity down my spine and it takes some time to my fuzzy brain to realize this is so much different than the touches we shared until now. I turn to him and scan his face. His eyes fix me and I get scared and confused because it’s the first time I see lust in them, combined with warm and adoration.“Naruto..” I whisper, forgetting that I want this to sound as a warning.He leans in and starts nipping my lower lip:“Why not? I want another Christmas present.”His voice is low and seductive, even if it’s hoarse and cracks sometimes and I wonder why the hell I didn’t know he can sound so sexy.I try to recompose myself and tell him:“It’s too soon.”He frowns:“I know it’s too soon, but it’s you.”I open my mouth to say something, then close it and his expression changes, a flicker of insecurity darkening his azure eyes.“You don’t want me” he declares. And he doesn’t say anything after but I can almost hear all the stupid things he thinks about himself. I catch his hands into mine and interlace our fingers:“Naruto, it’s not that. I want you, trust me, I do, but you need time. I don’t want you to think that us is just about sex.”“I’d never think something like that..” he says frowning “and why do you think I need time when I’ve decided on my own I don’t?”“You won’t give up, do you?” I ask him.He leans in and circles my neck with his arms, searching my ear lobe and licking it playfully. When I start to feel my knees going weak he bores his eyes into mine:“Will you stop making me wait and make love to me already?!” he says impatiently, with those damn eyes burning with desire and love. I want again to tell him so many reasons why this shouldn’t happen or why he might regret this later, but what changes my mind are those blue orbs. What I find in them is just the confirmation that he wants me too, in the same way I want him. Naked. Completely naked and in my arms. So, I just surrender myself to him.I don’t recall how we get in my bed, but the rest of the things are forever imprinted in my memory.I thought that desire will make us impatient and the moment will consume itself in sharp movements, tugs and moans, but instead it goes slow and gentle, like we both want to enjoy this as much as we can. Although I saw him naked already, I take my time in discovering every part of him again, as if it’d be the first time. I kiss every freckle that comes my way, until I end up kissing him everywhere. He doesn’t seem to mind, closing his eyes from time to time and letting a moan of pleasure escape his pink lips, coloured like that by our burning kisses.His hands travel from my hair down my back, tracing the lines of my spine and then on my chest, stomach and my hipbones. He leaves featherlike kisses on my neck and collarbone and whispers sweet nothings in my ear and I reply to him.And then he pulls me closer over him as if he would dissolve himself into me if it was possible. And I can totally understand how he feels, because even if our bodies are pressed flushed together, it still doesn’t feel enough.When it happens, after proper preparation, I enter him carefully, giving him the time to adjust. He tells me to move not long after and his legs are around my waist. He starts following shyly the rhythm that I settle for us.We keep kissing and touching until I feel my stomach exploding in millions of butterflies and if they all would have a color, I’m pretty sure they’d be azure, like Naruto’s eyes. He reaches his climax soon after, eyes shut and mouth opening slightly to let a silent moan out. His nails dig in my shoulders, but I really don’t mind, I’m too happy. When he opens his eyes I start kissing him again and he whispers between breaths:“You’re crying”.“Don’t worry” I say “it’s because I’m happy.”He smiles at me and it’s the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen. I hug him, whispering in his ear:“I love you, Naruto, I always did” in this life and in the other one I could add, but it wouldn’t matter because the result is the same. He is the love of my life in any life I’d live.“I love you too” he says.After I clean him he sits his head on my chest and I play with his gold hair until his breath goes slower and slower and I know he fell asleep. The next morning I wake at at 7.30, as always, but I feel well rested. My body feels lighter and a giddiness makes my stomach jump around. I’ve never felt like this after sleeping with Suigetsu and I think I understand now why Itachi told me once that having sex with someone that you love is so much different than having it just to get off. When you make love to someone everything gains more meaning, more weight. And honestly, it’s pretty complicated because you know that if it ends bad you’ll suffer. I know that if Naruto would break up with me now I’d be a ghost again and probably never recover. I shake my head, pushing aside these dark thoughts and look at him. He sleeps on his belly, head towards me, his hair a mess on the pillow. I run my fingers through my own hair and find some knots that remind me how much Naruto played with it last night.
God I love him so much!
I decide it’s time to make him some pancakes to kinda celebrate..uhm…his first time, I guess. I don’t know. If you’d have told me six months ago I’ll wake up and make pancakes for Naruto because he slept with me I’d have laughed at you for so many reasons. But know it just feels so natural…and cute..like him.I put on a grey T-shirt and a pair of loose pants and go to the bathroom, then down the stairs. The sky is still grey and more snow it’s falling. What a winter! I take some eggs from the fridge, then move around the kitchen for the other ingredients. When the clock hits 8.30 I hear Naruto’s hesitant steps on the stair. He enters the kitchen wearing one of my oversized sweatshirts and probably just boxers under it. His long caramel legs immediately make my blood boil in between my legs first, then in my entire body. Oh Fuck! His hair is still a mess, he didn’t even try to comb it in any way and his lips are still pink and plump and soft. I realize I probably stare when he snorts and observes:“It’s too much, isn’t it?”I blink a few times before figuring out he was talking to me:“What?”“I should’ve put some pants on.”
And hide those legs from me? Oh, no, mister.
“Come here” I tell him. He approaches and I put my hands on his slim waist and lift him on the counter. He opens up his legs and pulls me between them, his hands around my neck like last night:“You look damn sexy” I whisper in his ear and kiss his neck, then his jaw. A shy “ah, Sasuke” runs from his lips and his thighs tighten around me.“I made you pancakes” I say, trying to remain sane after hearing him moaning my name like that and move to kiss playfully his cheek and nose.“Really? Why?”His blue eyes sparkle literally and I let my fingers trace the contour of his jaw:“Because you turned me into a sap and I wanted to make this morning special..after last night.”He scans my face pensively and I get a bit insecure:“You don’t regret it, do you?”He frowns:“Why would I regret it?”“B-because..I mean…because I’m a man.”“I think it’d have been pretty dumb to ask you last night to sleep with me and this morning to be upset because you have a penis” he chuckles and I blush hearing him saying “penis”.“Are you..ok…down there?” I ask him again.Honestly, beside him breaking up with me, my biggest fear is to make him do something he’s not comfortable with or hurt him or make him feel disgusted with himself or things like that. I want him to love me, but I also want him to love himself and who he is with me…especially the sexuality part.He pokes my nose playfully and confesses:“Well, I feel a slight burn when I move, but it’s not painful, nor uncomfortable. It just reminds me that I am officially gay and that you made love to me last night”.I snort at his joke and ask:“And are you ok with that?”“With what? Sleeping with you, sleeping with a man, being gay? Sasuke, seriously” he scolds me “I told you already I’m ok with this. Labels are not important for me. They never were, as a matter of fact.” He stops and gives me one of those blinding smiles and clears his throat:“I think it’s better to ask you if you are ok with last night…” his cheeks turn pink after he lets those words out.I cup his face and make him look at me:“Last night was the best night of my life and I can’t wait to make love to you again” I tell him and he blushes even more. “But before that, you have to eat” I say to give him a break. He looks embarrassed.He giggles and hugs me:“I love you” he chirps in my ear and I remove him from the counter.“I love you too” I answer and respond to his hug.He traces the line of my spine again and the words that escape his lips turn my world upside down:“You were right when you said you’ll never refuse me.”“What?!” I jolt, my mouth falling wide open. This is something from my dreams, this is what he asks me on that beach!! It’s something that never happened in reality, still Naruto, this Naruto knows about it.“How…?” I begin but I can’t finish my phrase.“You know what I’m talking about”.It’s not a question, it’s not something that you’d say to check things up. It’s a certitude for him. I see it in the way his eyes are so serious, so sure that I know what he wants to say.“I know, but…that was a dream.”I sound confused, I am confused, I wonder if I’m going crazy.“Sasuke, I know this sounds damn crazy, but..when I was in a coma, I kept having these dreams with you. I don’t remember much of them, but I know it was you. For three months I lived another life or..dreamed about it. But you were there. And after I woke up I was too confused to figure things out. But then, when I got better those dreams came back. One in particular, this one, that you seem to know…we are on a beach and we joke around and I make fun of you and ask you if you’ll ever refuse me. And you say “at this point, probably never”.I let out a shaky breath because it’s exactly the same thing I dreamed about for years. Years! The man had no face at first and then after I kissed Naruto it was him in my dreams. I look at him. His blue eyes look ethereal in the white light that the snow spreads in this winter morning. He looks like an angel, an angel with blond locks and blue eyes. He keeps going after a pause:“I don’t really care if it is a dream or a glimpse of another life. I don’t want you to think that anything that happened between us was influenced in any way by this. I fell in love with that snarky little boy that told me I have ADHD. And then I fell in love again with that man that tried to avoid me in the library. I’ve never ceased to fall for you. I was just too afraid to do something. And then I almost died and I really wanted to go to the other side, but you asked me not to. And I realized I didn’t want to die without trying to be with you.”His fingers reach for my cheek and wipe away something wet. I didn’t even realize I was crying, but I am. Naruto heard my plea when I came to him that day after the accident. Naruto heard everything, even the things I’ve never said. It simply dawns on me that maybe, just like him, I fell in love with him since childhood.I pull him in my arms and find his lips. The kiss tastes like salt and broken hearts and hope and love. His heart pounds in his chest just like mine. I hide my nose in his hair, that smells like coconut and innocence, smells like Naruto.“Did you ever tell Kakashi about this?” I ask him. He shakes his head:“No, it was…something that I kept for myself. I felt like it was something I should talk about only with you. Something that belonged to us, not to anyone else.”“I am yours, as long as you’ll have me” I tell him, voice shaky because another round of tears rushes in “I…you don’t know how much you changed me, Naruto, but you did. Back then, when we were kids and now. I’ve never felt what I felt with you last night and since we met, since we were kids. And if that dream is or is not real, I don’t care. I’m just glad you are with me now, and if you were in any other life, I’m glad too.”Now we’re both a sobbing mess and then he kisses me again and whispers “I love you, I love you, I love you” and to me it sounds like a blessing. And I suddenly think that the God that I hated so much because He took my parents away from me, sent me something else in exchange, so I tell Naruto “I love you too” and I tell God “Thank you, for letting this man be mine, even if I didn’t deserve him.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sasuke's POV

Soft touches drag me out of my sleep. They begin their journey from my chin, slipping on my neck, then tracing the line of my stern, then they disappear as a ghost, coming back out of nowhere under my left earlobe. Then the fingertips change to warm and plump lips that caress my shoulder. I open my eyes just to find Naruto with his head propped on his hand, looking at me gently. The sun that comes from the window makes his caramel skin look absolutely delicious and I let my eyes indulge in wandering on his toned chest and abs. The rest is hidden under the sheet, so I move my eyes back to his sapphire orbs.We’ve been together for 7 years now and every morning I wake up near him seems like a dream to me, a reality that it’s too sweet to be true. When we started dating there was a huge part of me who was completely lost in happiness and another one, a small one that was terrified. I didn’t know how to be in a relationship with someone or how to be in love. I thought I don’t even know how to make love to someone and yet, with him everything, every small or big thing was easy to do.I put my hand on his chin and pull him slowly over me to give him a kiss. The contrast between my pale skin and his caramel one looks fascinating in the yellow light of the morning sun. I kiss him slowly and his eyelashes flutter, then he moves and gives a cute peck to my temples. When he came closer the sheet slipped away from his hips, revealing the seductive curve of his butt and that small space at the base of his spine, where I absolutely love to rest my hands or give kisses.“Morning” he says finally, smiling at me.“Morning. When did you wake up, sunshine?” I ask him, letting my fingers make a bigger mess in his hair.“Not long ago” he answers.I start massaging his nape and he leans in in it, making a sound that resembles a purr. He exhales and moves over me, shoving the sheet away from us with his feet. My hands are automatically cupping his butt and pushing him more into me and his lips claim mine, painfully slow.While I let my brain go fuzzy under Naruto’s touches, his skilled fingers go between us, circling the tip of my member, then stroking it gently. I was already hard, but I know he likes to torture me like this, to see how much I can break in his arms and in how many pieces. It still blows my mind how seductive and sexy Naruto can be, how much self control he can have when he is like this, when he turns things that usually are considered indecent in something that it’s purely and entirely erotic. I mean, to me indecency as in fooling around and eroticism meant the same thing for years, until Naruto came in and showed me the difference. A glimpse of a curve, a line traced on my side with his fingertips, even other things, more heated, they all changed under Naruto’s touch.I know people think sex being slow and gentle it’s something that you can only find in books or movies, but that’s bullshit. Sex slow and gentle, desire expressed like this is purely connected to maturity-this is how I think now, after all these years with Naruto. Any person in this world can fool around, can be bent over and fucked in a mattress…Now, I’m not saying that being bent over and fucked in a mattress it’s not good, I’m just saying that there is another version of the story, that can be even better. And that version means a cruel anticipation, mixed with languid touches, lips dissolving in slow kisses, tongues exploring bodies and moans, God, Naruto’s moans ringing in my ears, filling the silence of the night or morning. I’m telling you, that is a drug and a sin.“Can you wait a bit until breakfast?” he asks seductively, his pupils blown now, eyes looking black, not blue. It’s terrifying in a good way to see him like this, like a hunter above his prey.I lick my lips and he follows the movement with hungry eyes:“I can wait longer. You know you don’t have to ask for permission every time.”He nips my lower lip, licking it at the end and adding:“I always have to ask for permission.”He turns back to kissing my collarbone, while I hear him rummaging in the nightstand for lube and condoms. He settles in a better position between my legs and his kisses go down, claiming my stomach, the inner sides of my thighs and the tip of my member. Then he is back again on my lips, while his fingers, now slick from lube, tease my entrance. I already know two will be enough, but this torture is too sweet to put an end to it. Naruto has the control now, but he always, always gives me space to say no if I don’t like something. It never happened not to like something that he did to me, still, he has always been careful. I see in this attitude of him the traces of his education, especially Minato’s and Kushina’s advice about respect and that philosophy class that he took in high school and changed his way of thinking so much.He fumbles with the condom foil because of his slick fingers and I open it for him and put the condom on. My legs go around his waist and he kisses me, mindful at my reactions as he slips in me. I know this is a sin. Him and me, him in me and me in him, as men, is considered a sin. However, I’d sell my soul to the devil himself to be with him like this if ever someone would say I can’t anymore. Even after all these years this pleasure is as intense as the first time, it’s new and every time, it floods in my veins and makes me forget who I was without him.We start moving together, hearts beating in the same pace, eyes on each other’s, his hands on either side of my head for support, my hands on his back, to feel those rise and fall movements as he thrusts in me. When I know I’ll lose it soon his hands are under the small of my back, pushing me in him even more and fixing me in place so that he can hit my spot enough to make me go crazy. Then something simply snaps in my body, head pushes back in the pillows, ears registering my hoarse moan, then his, as he gives up in his climax too.A sloppy kiss wakes me up from the muddy state I’m in after, as I try to find a normal rhythm for my breath. A sheen layer of sweat over his forehead sparkles in the rays of the sun. His hair is now in the worst state ever, but I’m addicted to this view. He slips out of me gently and heads to the bathroom to bring something to clean us both. I follow his naked form in and out of the room and think that I still don’t understand what I did good in this life to deserve him.After he finishes cleaning me he pushes my sweaty bangs out of my forehead and asks with prudence:“Do you think we have too much sex?”I laugh at that and he smiles too. How can someone ask something with so much innocence after making my brain go numb with the mind blowing sex we had?!“I still think is not enough, otherwise we’d stop” I joke with him. He scratches his nape analyzing the situation and then, with a lopsided smile answers:“Yeah, you’re right, wrong question.” After a pause he adds:“Shower then breakfast?”I nod, giving him a mischievous look:“Can you keep your hands off me?”He snorts:“Mmmmaybe?”He comes closer, taking me without warning into his arms. I straddle him and he carries me in our bathroom, a melancholic smile curving his lips:“Remember this? We’ve come a long way.”We’ve come indeed. Those memories, with him as fragile as thin ice are painful, and still, if we’ve never had to overcome that obstacle together maybe we would never have been how we are today.I kiss his forehead:“We’ve come, my dream”.He blushes and hugs me tighter. Then water is on and we mess around in the tub.Half an hour later, I pour coffee in our mugs while Naruto smudges some toast with Nutella. This boy, now man (he’s still a boy to me) has the sweetest tooth I’ve seen, still, he never gained back the weight he lost after the accident. He’s not skinny as in unhealthy, but he is now as skinny as I am. He went back to gym two years after the accident, for jogging and swimming especially, but that weight never came back.“Are the presents in the car already?” he asks, munching the Nutella toast.“Yes, I put them last night. We just have to get dressed and take our bags.”Today is the birthday of my nephew and niece, Itachi’s and Shisui’s kids. 5 years ago they found a surrogate mother and ended up having twins, a girl and a boy. I can’t tell you exactly with whom they resemble more, Shisui or Itachi. Itachi was the donor, but every time Kimi, my niece, smiles I swear she looks like Shisui. The boy, Haru looks more like a strange combination between me and my brother at the same age. As for their personalities, well, Naruto says they both speak their minds like Shisui, so the fact that Itachi was the donor doesn’t matter at all. Every time he says that Itachi pouts and Shisui smiles and always comes and hugs Naruto, while my brother growls at me:“Your boy takes the wrong side.”So, back to what we have to do today, because Haru and Kimi are obsessed with sea side, and because this July is not as hot as others, their party will take place on a beach. It’s not going to be much, just me and Naruto, Naruto’s parents, Kakashi and Sakura and their daughter Ryoko. She’s six years old and has a very dirty mouth at her age, obviously the one to blame being Kakashi. She acts like Sakura when she was a kid, but her cute appearance, teal eyes as her mother and strawberry blonde hair, don’t match her vocabulary, which is often punctuated by “fuck” and “shit”. Sakura always warns her, something that is completely useless taking into consideration that every 5 minutes Kakashi uses “fuck” and “shit”.We finish our coffee, get dressed in shorts and T-shirts, take our sunscreens and caps and head to the car. Naruto throws me the keys and winks at me:“Lead the way.”He took his driving license two years ago and I brought a Nissan Juke for him last year, but when it comes to drive my Maserati he gets nervous. It took him a lot of time to heal his motion sickness after the accident, until the moment he decided to buy a bike and use it in weekend. Then he used it to move around the city, even in winter and with time, he overcame his problem.I catch the keys and tell him:“We can use your car, if you want.”He grins:“I’m tired after this morning.”The way he looks at me makes the something between my legs come alive:“If you don’t stop ogling me like that, we’ll never ever get to that party today.”His grin grows wider:“Fine, fine.”We get into the car (finally, we’re already late) and he humms the songs on the radio all the way to the beach.When we arrive there, three hours later, everybody is waiting, of course. Shisui comes to our car while Naruto takes the presents from the truck and teases:“You are late and I think I know why.”Naruto immediately starts blushing. He keeps me horny all the time with those looks or touches he gives me, but when it comes to someone pointing that out, he gets really embarrassed. I love that about him.Shisui notices his pink cheeks and keeps going:“So I was right. You were late because you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. God be blessed I gave you that lube all those years ago.”“Saaaaaaaasuukeeee” Naruto whines, fumbling with the bags, his face crimson. I come near him to help and tell Shisui:“Will you stop embarrassing him, please?!”I try to look angry, but I’m actually amused. Shisui dismisses me with that gesture of his hand that belongs only to him:“Oh come on, I’m glad you two are insatiable.”Bags and towels and everything we need out of the car, we head to the place on the beach where our group is. The moment they see us, Haru and Kimi start running, screaming as loud as they can:“Saaaaaaasssskeeeee, Narrrrrtooooo”.Haru jumps in my arms and Kimi in Naruto’s and we hug and tickle them. Kimi’s long black hair is wet and salty and Haru has extra cream on his nose because his pale skin gets sunburns easily.Kakashi notices us and gives Naruto a look:“You’re late.”Naruto grimaces and retorts:“Traffic.”“Bullshit” Kakashi teases “you couldn’t get enough ass.”“Bullshit” his daughter repeats after him and Kakashi puts his hand over her mouth whispering:“Shhhh, your mother will kill me.”“She repeated bullshit after you, isn’t it?!” Sakura growls at him, giving Naruto a hug and then me.Sakura started visiting Naruto not long after we fought that day, years ago. She said she still doesn’t like me, but she wants Naruto happy. With the years she understood that what I said that day was the truth. I’ve never betrayed him or left him. With Kiba was a bit more complicated. He didn’t speak with Naruto for two years, coming back into his life only after one of Gaara’s birthday parties, where we met again. He stared at me and Naruto all night and at the end, when I was sure he’ll spit some shit he looked me in the eye and stated:“You really make him happy.”And I shrugged and told him:“As long as he’ll let me I’ll try to make him as happy as I can.”He started visiting us not long after, with Neji and Hinata and I was just relieved that Naruto didn’t lose his friend forever.Minato and Kushina approaches us, Naruto’s mum looking stunning with her red hair in the sun light. They hug us both, Kushina running her fingers through my hair, gesture that reminds me so much of her son:“Sasuke, you should spend some time in the sun today, you’re too pale.”I open my mouth to say something, but Naruto intervenes:“Mum, he’ll get sunburnt, you know that.”Kushina narrows her eyes:“Look at you, being so protective.”Minato snorts, while Naruto’s eyes widen:“I’m not.”“Yes, you are” Kushina continues her teasing “last time when you visited us I asked Sasuke to eat a bit more and you gave me a perplexed look.”“Muuuum, you know he doesn’t eat much. Besides, I’m just taking care of him.”I find the perfect opportunity to tease him even more:“Come here, knight in armor, take that T-shirt off and let’s make sunscreen useful.”He pouts at that while I wink at Minato and Kushina and they respond with a snort. I love Naruto’s parents as much as I loved mine. They never ceased to support us as a couple these years and to encourage Naruto to do what he wants. The next year after the accident I went back to law school and took my bachelor’s degree and Naruto finished his master. My brother said I can work in the legal department at Konoha INC and I accepted, not because of the inheritance, but because I wanted to help Itachi. Until this day I’m still working there and I have a class on Criminal Law at Konoha University, thanks to my teacher Asuma, who suggested I should do that.Naruto took another path, going for a long photography course after master and opening a blog, about best cafes and restaurants in our city. He was so good at writing and capturing with his lenses the moments in these places that some brands even supported him financially to travel around. He has been to Tokyo and Seoul and wrote articles about the top of best cafes there. He is now popular in the industry, and, just like me, has an optional class on Visual Culture at Konoha University. Long story short, I think we both had the chance to follow what we wanted professionally. In weekends he still helps his parents with the restaurant, which, by the way, is now considered a hot spot in our city.He takes off his shirt, Kimi and Haru gasping when they see his recent tattoo on his right side ribs – it’s a mask of a Japanese kitsune, not too big, in black ink with a few flowers around. He wanted to get it since his master years, when he got so immersed in Japanese mythology. Kitsune basically means “fox” and in Japanese culture these spirits are very tricky, being considered both good and evil. Sometimes they are guardians, friends, lovers, being very intelligent and wise. But, they can also be malevolent, tricking people and causing troubles. Naruto said he picked up this tattoo because he truly believes good and evil is in each of us, but the choice of being good or bad belongs only to us. Just like kitsunes, it’s our responsibility whether we decide to do good or bad to the people around us. Moreover, as a kid he was a trickster, so he thought the idea suits him well.And of course the thing looks damn sexy on his ribs, with that delicious caramel skin as a background. After he got it I couldn’t wait for the place to heal so I can kiss it over and over again. He jokes all the time saying that I’ll simply erase his tattoo with my kisses.“Waaaaa, looks scary” Kimi observes, her big onyx eyes growing even bigger as Naruto sits down on the towel and lets her touch the drawing.“You think? It’s just a mask.”“Like a carnival mask?” Haru asks, eyes sparkling with curiosity and his fingers joining his sister’s in touching the tattoo. Soon, Naruto starts laughing and the kids attack him, tickling him everywhere until he starts fighting back. Their laughter fill the air, while the rest of us just admire this amazing view. After their game ends I apply sunscreen on Naruto’s back and chest and he does the same for me.We lay in the sun and talk with my brother and Shisui, Naruto’s parents and Kakashi and Sakura. From time to time Naruto goes to mess around with the kids, swim or play volleyball with them. Then we eat a cake, singing “Happy Birthday” to Kimi and Haru and scanning their faces as they open their presents. Around 5 in the afternoon they get sleepy, so my brother decides it’s time to go home. Kakashi and Sakura do the same and Minato and Kushina excuse themselves, saying a long week is ahead.I know Naruto wants to wait for the sunset, so I tell my brother we’ll leave later. Besides, every summer, from July until middle August we take some time off from work and enjoy our summer holiday, so we’re not pressured in any way.Slowly but surely the sun goes lower and lower, changing the colours of the sky in red and orange. I sit behind Naruto on the towel, with my head resting on his shoulder, admiring the view and inhaling the salty smell of his skin. From time to time I kiss his shoulder causing shivers to go down his spine. His eyes are bluer than ever and his blond hair turned again into liquid gold. He lets his head fall behind, demanding for a kiss. I obey and he smiles, then inhales and goes back to look at the sun, that is now half fallen in the sea, the sky turned into a chaos of blue and purple.There aren’t many people on the beach, just a few families and lovers like us. A mutual understanding makes everyone quiet, the only sound filling the silence being the cadence of the waves, hitting the shore. My arms are around Naruto’s waist and his hands go up and down my thighs.“I love you” I whisper in his ear. I know I tell him this all the time, but no matter how often I tell him, my heart still skips a beat when those words are out. He squeezes my knee and leans his head behind again smiling:“I love you too, Sasuke. I always did, I always will” he adds pensively.Those dreams keep coming back to us from time to time. In some of them we are on that beach again, in others we are in each other’s arms or we simply kiss, and we wake up just to kiss in reality too, because like this the illusion and the reality, the past and the present somehow come in full circle. Naruto never told Kakashi about the experience during his coma. The only one that knows me and Naruto had the same dream is my brother, who also said he dreamed about Shisui. You can say the explanation for this is in one of those theories about soulmates or the red string of fate. Personally, I think the answer lays in something that I call “the Naruto law of attraction.” I studied different types of law in my school years, but you’ll never find this one in a text book. However, for sure, you’ll learn about its effects by living your life.“The Naruto law of attraction” is pretty simple: some day someone will barge into your life and change it forever. At first, you won’t be aware how important that someone is. It might be someone you instantly like or someone you instantly hate. It might even be an obnoxious kid, with ADHD and an obnoxious orange hoodie. It doesn’t really matter. The thing is you’ll start to feel different, be different and by the time you’ll notice, that person will become the center of your existence, pulling you towards him or her like a magnet.
You think you’ll be able to resist because it doesn’t make sense? Well, many things don’t make sense in our lives, but you still won’t be able to resist. What is important in this, more than the attraction itself, it’s the fact that being with that person won’t change who you are, but it’ll bring the real you into light. Simply said, this assault over your life will have positive effects, you just have to surrender. Obviously, you need to be smart enough not to abandon yourself in the hands of any imbecile, but don’t be scared. You’ll know who is that someone.

And one more thing, remember when I said he or she will change your life? Don’t think they’ll do some magic trick and everything will get better instantly. No, it will be hard, sometimes it might be painful and you might explore the darkest corners of your life. But, hang on, don’t give up, keep fighting. By the end of this journey, no matter how hard it might be, you’ll realize you found the power to change your life on your own. Plus, you’ll end up with someone to love.