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"I did this," says Taehyung. He says it more loudly than he intends, because Yoongi always picks the noisiest clubs in the universe and he wants to make sure they hear him."Did what?" says Yoongi, in a normal speaking voice that's still perfectly audible because he's a witch.Taehyung gestures towards the dance floor expansively. "This."Seokjin leans forward, eyes wide with faux-surprise. The drink in his hand looks disgustingly radioactive, but it's turned Seokjin's tongue blue which Taehyung covets. "You own the club?""No, he's saying he created it," says Yoongi. "Or built it, maybe.""His carpentry skills have certainly improved, then," says Seokjin. "Our Tae-assembled IKEA desk still wobbles if you don't put a magazine under one of the legs."Taehyung rolls his eyes and jabs his fingers more decisively towards the dance floor. "Not the club. Them.""Maybe he means the decorations?" says Seokjin, ignoring him entirely as he sips his drink.Yoongi looks around, a considering expression on his face. "Not enough impressionist animals on the wall.""You guys suck so much," says Taehyung. He sinks into the couch crease and crosses his arms across his chest, pouting. "You know I mean Sara and Nate. The newest, cutest campus power couple who are in love because of me. But whatever. I guess it's more important for you to do your stupid comedy routine than be proud of my accomplishments."Seokjin looks a little abashed, but Yoongi only smirks. "You claim credit for every couple in a fifty mile radius," he says. "And you're always wrong. Sara and Nate have been into each other forever. Saying you made them fall in love is like an archaeologist saying he created dinosaurs by finding their bones.""Ah ha, that's where you're wrong!" says Taehyung, jerking forward again and slamming his fist on the low table in front of them. "If they were into each other for so long, why are they only dating now?"Yoongi tries to say something, but Taehyung reaches over and pinches his lips shut. "It's because I stole her favorite hoodie and put it on the chair he always sits in during our intro to psych lecture so that he would return it to her exactly after I showed her a picture of a girl proposing to a guy in defiance of gender norms. Nate is a total wuss, and Sara is a total beast, and I saw the opportunity for them to be perfect for each other. I am Cupid reborn. Please clap."He releases Yoongi's mouth and does his own applause, thoroughly pleased with himself, even when Seokjin only offers two token claps of his hands."You're impossible," says Yoongi, but Taehyung can see the amusement lurking underneath his veneer of annoyance. "And spoiled. We should have bullied you when you got to campus instead of indulging all of your worst habits.""Bullying is wrong," says Taehyung, grinning. "Plus I'm too nice to bully."Seokjin boops him on the nose with a long finger, his sign of agreement, and Yoongi scoffs. "Just promise that you'll never make me the target of one of your dumb love plans.""I could never," says Taehyung. He doesn't even try to hide his horror. "You're the least romantic person in the universe. I'm sure there are people out there who enjoy sitting in silence in dim rooms eating take out and sighing about their bottomless ennui, but it would be an international war crime to encourage that sort of dating behavior. I'm not going to the Hague for you.""Excuse you, I know how to cook," says Yoongi. "Not that you'll ever be invited to experience it again."Taehyung shakes his head wildly. "But I'm your very best taste tester! Please don't deprive yourself of my appreciation just because you're grumpy tonight."Before Yoongi can respond, bodies leap over the backs of the low couches and settle in around them. Taehyung scoots over to make room, smiling hugely at his newest coupling success as they steal kisses from each other, and he somehow ends up in Seokjin's lap. Seokjin shrugs at his apology and puts his head on Taehyung's shoulder, giving him the last mouthful of his drink so that Taehyung can roll the liquid around on his tongue for the blueness."Hey guys," says one of their new companions, a well-muscled blonde guy named Todd. "Why are you just sitting here? It's not a tea party, it's a club.""Yeah, you should be dancing!" says a very short girl with a booming voice. Alia, Taehyung knows. He'd made her fall in love this year, too. It hadn't stuck, but that didn't matter. They're all still in college, forever young, and the love stories are more important than the permanence."I'm still below the alcohol levels needed to get me on the dance floor," says Seokjin firmly. Lying firmly, given that Taehyung has personally seen him dabbing completely sober in public venues this year. "Besides, someone needs to hold the table."Todd waves that away, conveniently shifting a little closer to them, and Seokjin laughs a little nervously against Taehyung's back."So how close to ready do you think you are then?" asks Taehyung, smiling to himself. "One drink away, maybe?""Oh, I don't know," says Seokjin quickly, but Todd is already on his feet again."I'll get you one if it means you'll get out there," he says, grinning down at them, then looks around. "Anyone else?""If you're buying, I'll take a bottle of Johnny Walker," says another guy, one that Taehyung hasn't met yet.He laughs loudly at his own joke, even harder when Todd cuffs him on the back of the head, then turns to Taehyung with a practiced tilt of the head. He's very hot, hair thick and curled with shoulders even broader than Seokjin's. Greek ancestry, Taehyung thinks. Carved bones lurk underneath his skin, like a statue, and Taehyung enjoys the aesthetic of statues."You're Tae Kim, yeah?" the guy says, a soft and easy smile on his lips.Taehyung smiles back. "I am.""Sebastian. Seb, to friends. It's good to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.""I know, I'm famous around here," says Taehyung sagely. "Tell me all of the incredible things you've heard."Seokjin groans behind him. "Please don't feed his ego. Yoongi and I will spend weeks deflating it again."Seb holds his hands up in a signal of surrender. "Fair enough. I'll flatter you later," he says, winking, then turns to the girl next to him and starts in on a similar routine without a pause. Clearly a guy who's for looking, not touching, and Taehyung slides him into the appropriate slot in his mind.As he does, Yoongi cocks an eyebrow in his direction, and Taehyung holds up three fingers. Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head, and Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him. He's known Yoongi his whole life, from a time before memory, when they'd been next-door neighbors in their pleasant California suburb. Yoongi had looked after him then, a whole three years older that always felt like thirty, and when Taehyung had followed him to university they'd fallen quickly into the same family dynamic. Yoongi's constant concern is more useful than smothering, which is why Taehyung still allows it, even though he knows Yoongi is sending secret communiques back to his parents about his entire life.Lucky for him, Yoongi will be doing his post-graduate work here too, so Taehyung will get the joy of being spied on and cooked for until he graduates.Eventually Todd comes back with another blue drink for Seokjin and a water for Taehyung, which he drinks happily while pretending to be annoyed. He's underage, still a freshman, which this club doesn't know but he's not here for something as unpleasant as being drunk. He has a fake ID because he loves the atmosphere and the people and the life, but he's never really enjoyed being out of control.And just as Taehyung predicted, one more drink is enough to get Seokjin out to the dance floor. Once he does the entire gang abandons the chairs for music, and Taehyung watches them with a fond smile while he continues to hold down the couch against everyone's protests."You should have gone with them," says Yoongi when they're the only ones left. "You can't always get into these places. You should take advantage."Taehyung gasps theatrically. "Are you - Min Yoongi - telling me that I should have fun? What about my very serious studies?""You're already here, so I think tonight's a loss on the academic front," says Yoongi, shrugging. "I can hold the couches, and you're not drinking so you'll be fine. Besides, I think that Seb guy is going to be back here soon to drag you, and you know how I feel about lacrosse players.""He plays lacrosse?""They always seem to," says Yoongi sourly, and Taehyung laughs. "It's like a disease at this place.""There's nothing wrong with physical activity.""Sure, when you're building houses. Or doing judo. Something useful. Not just flinging balls around for cheers.""You literally played four years of basketball in high school before you got old," says Taehyung. "You were a varsity starter."Yoongi shrugs again, and Taehyung knows that's the closest he's going to get to an admission of hypocrisy. "So you sure that guy's a three? Seems like he's angling for a one.""You know that my one slot is reserved for my true forever love," says Taehyung. "Or the fox from the Robin Hood movie, if he somehow manages to exist on this plane of reality. Seb's not even close to either of those things.""Really? I could see him as a furry," says Yoongi, yelping when Taehyung kicks him."Don't be mean. Anyway, he's cute enough for a two, but he flirted with other people right in front of me which knocks him down a rank," says Taehyung. "Definitely not one and only love behavior. It's not even make out behavior. Honestly, real men are so disappointing.""Very true."Taehyung looks back to the dance floor, where Seokjin is waving his hands in the air like a drowning swimmer, laughing hysterically, making everyone around him laugh even harder. "I'll tell you a secret," he says, moving closer to Yoongi, even though he's still half-shouting over the music.Yoongi takes a drink, not asking, even though Taehyung knows he's dying to know."He's next," says Taehyung, nodding to Seokjin. "My next project.""Jin?" says Yoongi. "That'll be the day. He's too beautiful to date people. That's the very first thing he said to me, you know. I showed up a week before classes started, a helpless kid lugging boxes up three flights of stairs while he groomed himself, and he didn't even introduce himself to me. He just told me not to fall for him, because he's too beautiful for that nonsense."Taehyung laughs. "I think you're just not his type.""I'm everyone's type," says Yoongi gesturing over himself. "I'm fucking adorable.""But I could literally put you inside of my pocket right now," says Taehyung. "And Seokjin's porn, well, let's just say it's all about baguettes."Yoongi blinks at him, and Taehyung cocks an eyebrow. "Big, white and crusty?""That's disgusting.""But accurate," says Taehyung. "You roomed with him for three years, you have to know what he likes. His preferences. Which sync up nicely with a certain Todd we all know."Yoongi groans. "You are not setting up Seokjin - our Seokjin - with a frat guy named Todd. It's too terrible for the universe to contemplate.""The love spirits don't care about your weird problems with people's names," says Taehyung. "They do care about Seokjin running out of hard drive space for pasty, muscled subs. I'm on it, don't worry.""I'm not worried," says Yoongi. "It's not going to happen.""Watch and learn," says Taehyung, finishing his water and standing up. "Excuse me, I have to go be the best now."He abandons the zone of skepticism, making a beeline for Seokjin where he's dancing exactly the right distance away from Todd to be in his bubble but not so close as to be obvious. Taehyung crashes into him at a carefully calculated angle, driving him into Todd's side with overdone apologies that let him throw his arms around both of them."Show me a good new dance move," he yells at them both, and there's only a moment of hesitation before the two of them are partners in Taehyung's education. And eventually Taehyung edges away slowly, turning their triangle into a line, and by the time he's escaped their bubble has contracted to almost no space between them at all.Taehyung looks at the couches triumphantly, but Yoongi's scrolling through his phone and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Instead he finds Alia and a new girl she's eyeing speculatively, and cute Seb steals a few dances with him, and he has a great rest of the night under the bright lights of the club.He's less happy a few hours later wandering through the dorm with a comforter wrapped around him. He likes to sleep, and he's not sleeping, and that's the problem with being the best. Sacrifice.His slippers make happy little slapping sounds on the floor as he goes, and that makes him smile despite his odyssey. Yoongi's RA appointments are more luxurious than Taehyung and Seokjin's humble double, but he's also on the first floor which is the longest walk in the universe, and twice the length with sleepy eyes. Even though it's practically so late it's early, there are still people in the halls, and they all wave at him as he passes.He can't wave, because of the comforter, but he nods back as enthusiastically as he can."Taehyung!" someone calls when he comes out of the elevator, and Taehyung suppresses a sigh. He'd know that happily delighted tone of voice anywhere, and he's not at all in the mood for it."Hello Yugyeom," he says with as much genuine cheer as he can muster. "You're up late tonight!""Studying," says Yugyeom, wrinkling his nose.He bounces up to Taehyung and gives him a big hug, which Taehyung returns with fabric. Yugyeom is a sweet kid, and a true international student in a dorm full of only partial transplants. He's also a certified genius and a chatterbox who could give a headache to a decapitated man. They'd met the week of freshman orientation, and Taehyung had known immediately that this kid had the kind of energy that would murder him. But Yugyeom had been so excited to find another Korean kid on his floor, especially one cool enough to be friends with older students like Yoongi and Seokjin, and he'd been so clueless about the ways of the US that Taehyung's heart couldn't bear to snub him.Now he gets hugs at three in the morning, even when he doesn't want them.But he smiles down at him anyway. "You're so diligent," says Taehyung. "You'll have to teach me how to be as good at studying as you are, sometime. Before I fail all of my classes.""Oh, I'm not that good at it," says Yugyeom, scratching at his neck. "But I'll write something up for you tomorrow, okay? Just some tips. And I'll ask Jeongguk for some too! You know, my cousin?"Taehyung bites back his initial response, which is that it's impossible to know Yugyeom for more than three seconds without hearing about his cousin Jeongguk. If Yugyeom is to be believed, Jeongguk is the pinnacle of human existence, and if Taehyung has to hear one more time about how he has above a 4.0 and has broken another swimming record and learned to build an entire working steam engine in a single night from gum and paper clips without any instructions, he's going to lose his shit."That would be really nice of you guys, thanks," says Taehyung. He yawns hugely, only half-faked, and adds, "Sorry, but I have to get to sleep. I'm about to die on my feet here.""Of course!" says Yugyeom, slapping a hand over his mouth in horror. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.""Nothing to forgive. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?""Okay," says Yugyeom around his hand. "Thanks for talking to me, Taehyung! Sleep well."He runs off down the hallway with a big wave, and Taehyung shakes his head rapidly as soon as he's gone. He needs to get horizontal, immediately, or he's going to fall asleep against the wall like a soldier on late patrol.When he gets to Yoongi's room he leans his forehead against the door and knocks pathetically, drumming his knuckles on the wood in a rapid beat. "Yoongi," he whines. "Let me in."It takes a few minutes, during which he can hear Yoongi crashing into things as he makes his way through his room, and when the door opens Taehyung falls into him without even trying to stop himself. But Yoongi takes a step back rather than catching him, making Taehyung stumble forward, foot caught on his comforter, a hairsbreadth away from crashing to the ground."You're supposed to catch me," grumbles Taehyung when he's stable, shuffling past Yoongi into his place."Why the fuck are you waking me up? You have a perfectly good bed," says Yoongi, voice rough with sleep. "Upstairs. Go use it.""I can't," says Taehyung, getting himself a glass of water from the kitchenette's sink. Another perk of Yoongi's room that he doesn't have. "I'm too awesome for my own good, because Seokjin's turning Todd's white dick blue in our room and they kicked me out. He used his monthly sex coupon on it."Yoongi groans. "Don't tell me shit like that. I took this job so that I wouldn't have to know what he gets up to anymore, and you know overnight guests aren't allowed. Go stay with one of your other friends. You have a million of them.""But you have the best couch," says Taehyung, sliding his slippers across the carpet as he moves to make them static-y. He takes a sip of water and sets it on the stereo. "I'll just sleep for a little bit.""Fine," says Yoongi, sighing and moving to his bunk. He picks up the water glass on his way and puts it on his desk. "Just use your key next time instead of waking me up.""I think it fell into a sewer. Sorry.""I don't want to know. I'm going back to sleep," says Yoongi from above him. "And leave your fucking pants on this time, I swear to god.""Okay," says Taehyung, slipping his pants off to let them puddle on the floor. He flops down on the couch in his plushy burrito and closes his eyes."I'm not making you breakfast in the morning.""Eggs and bacon please," says Taehyung, and that's the last thing he remembers before he passes out.Taehyung wakes up to the smell of bacon, and he stretches out of his comforter with a happy smile. "Good morning.""It's noon," says Yoongi from his stove top."Good noon. I smell something delicious.""It was my only hope of waking you up. You punched me when I tried earlier."Taehyung's eyes widen, and Yoongi gestures to his arm. "Here. But you punch like a dying kitten, so it's fine.""Hey, I went to the gym just two weeks ago," says Taehyung, flexing his thin arms. "I lifted so many weights. I'm basically Iron Man.""In the sense that you'd need a robotic suit to be effective, yes. Now come get food."Taehyung roots around on the floor for his pajamas, then slides them on with a wiggle. Yoongi's scowl deepens, and Taehyung laughs. "Someone's grouchy today.""Someone got woken up at three in the morning by a guy who'd been sexiled," says Yoongi. "And knowing Jin, you're going to be trapped here until at least dinner.""Ugh," says Taehyung, fishing his phone out of his pocket. There's a text from Seokjin an hour ago that's only eggplants, and Taehyung wonders if it will be safe to go back at all without a crime scene cleaning team. He looks at Yoongi hopefully. "Can I borrow some clothes?""You'll just make fun of how small they are," says Yoongi, and he's not wrong. "Wear your pajamas. It's not like you actually slept in them, and you can call it a fashion statement."Taehyung looks down at his silk-clad self and nods. "I do look amazing. Food please!"Yoongi puts bacon and eggs and even some toast on a plate, and Taehyung thanks him enthusiastically before digging in. Yoongi always threatens to make his food crappier so Taehyung won't come by so often for it, but he's too much of a perfectionist to follow through on the idea. And when Taehyung tells him the food is amazing, his face turns into that special brand of pinched that means he's annoyed to be so pleased."Oh, I almost forgot, Yugyeom dropped this off for you," says Yoongi in the middle of one of Taehyung's moans of caloric happiness. He holds out a stack of papers bound together with a binder clip, and Taehyung takes it, wrinkling his nose. "Hey, be nice to him. He might not be as popular as you like people to be, but he's a good kid, and he hasn't figured out what a brat you are yet. Count your blessings."Taehyung flips through pages, which are crammed with neat lines and color-coded tips for effective studying, along with carefully highlighted tips about the right times of day for learning and how to find the ideal library location to facilitate a quiet experience. It's very thorough, and very ridiculous, and Taehyung drops it back on Yoongi's off-white breakfast bar, sighing."I'll tell him thanks next time I see him. Really I will. I'm nice to him, I promise."Yoongi raises a skeptical eyebrow. "He said he had Jeongguk on the phone for an hour making sure that it was perfect. That's more than a thanks. Take him to lunch or something. Spend an afternoon with him.""Fine," says Taehyung. "I'll take him to a movie."When Yoongi only looks at him, Taehyung makes a show of picking up his phone and typing. The response comes back immediately, and Taehyung looks at Yoongi with exasperation. "He said yes to a couple of hours from now. And we'll go to dinner after, and he'll talk about how awesome Jeongguk is for the entire meal, and I'll be wearing my stupid pajamas like we're dating or something and it's going to be a great day of thankfulness. Okay?"Yoongi hums, then hops off of his own stool and roots around in his closet briefly. When he emerges, his hair a little disheveled, he tosses a handful of fabric at Taehyung's face. Taehyung takes it curiously, then bursts into a huge grin at the oversized emerald shirt and fitted black pants he'd thought were gone forever."You left them here when you were trying on clothes for your first mixer," says Yoongi. "I figured it served you right for treating my room like your dressing room, but you've earned them back now."Taehyung jumps up and octopus hugs Yoongi, who accepts it calmly as he always does. He's less calm when Taehyung starts stripping, then asks Yoongi for his shower caddy so he can clean up before he gets dressed. And for a towel. Taehyung smiles at him brilliantly when he grumbles, and Taehyung trips out of the room with all of his requested items and strict instructions to come back with all of his bits covered up or Yoongi will never speak to him again.He comes back with only the towel on, throwing it to Yoongi to launder before getting dressed, and Yoongi immediately breaks his promise of eternal silence to berate him. Taehyung listens for a few minutes out of politeness, then laughs and curls up on the couch, pulling Yoongi down with him to watch the first Netflix series he finds until his friend date with Yugyeom.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I can't believe you abandoned me," says Taehyung, flopping down on the couch and putting the back of his hand to his forehead.Todd and Seb totally ignore him to pick up the couch from where it rests on the sidewalk and carry it into the waiting apartment. It's up a flight of stairs, and Taehyung has to hold on for dear life as he shrieks in delight, but they carefully leave him unspilled until they've reached the safety of the carpet where they unceremoniously dump him. He cackles from the plush white fabric, then looks up at Seokjin, who's followed them with boxes of his own."Taehyung, you came here to help us move, not give my boyfriend even more work to do," he says, an exasperated expression on his handsome face. "Are you going to do that, or are you going to keep being a child?""A child!" says Taehyung. "Obviously. I've been left without adult supervision for the whole year.""It's okay, gorgeous, you know there's no limit to how much I can lift," says Todd, taking the boxes out of Seokjin's hands and putting them on a nearby table, then pressing in for a kiss. It gets a little messy, and a little indecent, and Taehyung watches them with open glee until Yoongi makes his way into the room and kicks Seokjin right in the ass.Seokjin's ears are red when he pulls away, his fingers tangled in blonde Todd's hair, though Taehyung notices his eyes are lit with something as far away from embarrassment as possible. He wolf whistles at them, just because he can, and Seb leans over to give him a high five on his way out the door. More frat guys pour in, offering their own teasing, and Taehyung laughs again.Yoongi doesn't. "Wait to undress your boyfriend until we've left," he says to Seokjin. He kicks Taehyung for good measure as he moves to the bedroom. "If you don't pull your weight I'm going to make sure you end up in a double room after all."Taehyung scrambles up, knowing that's a real threat, and he runs down the stairs to pick up a couple of boxes. He tests their weight first, looking for light ones, handing off the heavier ones to the nearest burly guy with a huge smile that always gets returned. He finally finds a few light enough so he won't sweat, then bounds back up the stairs and shoots Yoongi meaningful eyebrows as he sets them down in the living room like they weigh a hundred pounds.Yoongi nods approvingly, then goes back down to get more things. Taehyung pretends to check the sides of the boxes for markings, then sits down on the couch once he's out of the room. He looks at Seokjin, who's now directing traffic instead of carrying, and says, "I really am sad, though. I'm going to be so lonely.""Oh sweetie," says Seokjin, coming over to the couch and sitting with him, drawing his head against his chest. He rubs Taehyung's back soothingly, and Taehyung wiggles into him. "It's only a ten minute walk here. And Yoongi's still your RA, and you have your single room so I can come over and stay with you if you need me. Okay?""No," says Taehyung, then sighs. "Yes. It's okay. I'm happy for you. And I'm grateful that Yoongi got me a single. Even if he won't stop bitching about breaking the rules.""Sophomores shouldn't have them at all," says Yoongi from the door, and Taehyung is absolutely certain he's a witch. "You have a million friends, and you complain constantly about being lonely, so it's ridiculous that you wanted a single. But whatever Taehyung wants, Taehyung gets."His tone is sharp, and a little sour, and Taehyung sits up and twists around to look at him with wide eyes. Yoongi's gentle amusement is nowhere to be seen, and Taehyung's throat tightens with an unasked question. Yoongi would never want him to talk about anything involving emotions here, and luckily Seokjin knows Yoongi almost as well because he lets Taehyung go as if that had always been the plan, moving to tell a newly arrived Seb where the boxes in his arms go.Taehyung follows Yoongi back down the stairs, this time picking up whatever's nearest, a lamp and a street-artist sketch of Seokjin and Todd where the caricaturist had been unable to make them look unattractive despite his best efforts. Yoongi grabs a couple of too-heavy boxes, grunting under the permanent California sunshine, and he doesn't say a single word for the rest of the moving experience until they're saying goodbye to Seokjin.Seokjin gives Yoongi a quick, business-like hug and whispers something that makes him almost crack a smile, but when Seokjin turns to Taehyung they both start crying before they have a moment to breathe. Taehyung smacks Seokjin on the chest, saying he shouldn't be such a baby, then wipes his eyes on Seokjin's sleeve without a hint of remorse.It's a wet moment, here in the living room with a half-dozen frat boys watching them, but Taehyung doesn't care about that. He only cares about the way that this feels so much like heart surgery, even as Seokjin murmurs to him that he's always welcome, that he can call any time of the day or night and Seokjin will be there. Taehyung believes him but it's not the same. He'll be starting his second year of college in a few days, and he'd spent an entire lonely summer with high school friends that weren't anything like what he remembered, and nothing feels good right now.Taehyung hates being alone more than anything in the world.Eventually the hug has gone on too long, and longer still, so Taehyung pulls away and swipes at his stupid eyeballs. He points at Todd, who's hanging back respectfully and knowingly like the perfect boyfriend he is, and says, "You'd better take care of him.""He's precious," says Todd, nodding, drawing Seokjin against him, and Taehyung wants to cry again.But he doesn't, he just agrees fiercely, and he walks out the door without waiting for Yoongi. Needing to get outside and breathe the campus air that's somehow different too. Only the sun is the same, and he's going to stare at it until his eyes are all dried out.Yoongi yanks his head down as soon as he tilts it back, then reaches down and slips his hand into Taehyung's own. And Taehyung is glad that whatever Yoongi is annoyed with him about, he's not angry enough not to do this, because holding Yoongi's hand is the most calming thing in the universe. It's one of his first memories, past the awareness of his dog and his father's laughing voice and his mother's indulgent smile, Yoongi carefully holding his hand as they walked across the border between their lawns. His fingers are thinner now, the tendons across the back of it more defined, but it still feels like home."You'll see him all the time," says Yoongi quietly, when they're far enough away that Taehyung's sniffles are gone."I know," says Taehyung, looking down at the cracks in the sidewalk. "He promised me. And he doesn't make bad promises. It's just going to be hard. Who am I going to show my funny videos to now?""You can still show him. They have these new things called smartphones that send media across incredible distances. I'm sure I've read about them in the newspaper.""But then I won't hear him laugh. He has a good laugh."Yoongi shrugs, and his hand moves inside Taehyung's. "Then you can show them to me, if you want.""Um, thanks," says Taehyung, and Yoongi smiles in the corner of his eye, because he gets it. Yoongi is a lot of nice things, but a fount of merriment he's not. Taehyung adds, "It's my own fault for being such a good matchmaker, I guess. My greatest gift is my greatest curse!"He sighs melodramatically, his signal that he's not going to fall apart, and Yoongi shifts to talking about the upcoming dorm block party that he's hoping Taehyung will help out with. Which Taehyung of course will, because the only thing he loves more than attending a social event is being helpful at a social event.Yoongi pulls his hand away when they're close enough to the dorm for it to matter to him that he's the RA and Taehyung's a resident, and Taehyung smooths his palm on his silk dress shirt. There still aren't that many people on campus yet, but every day there will be more, and the International dorm tends to have the earliest arrivers. Taehyung watches the nervous, excited freshman doing one of their introductory exercises on the tennis courts, running around with pieces of mysteriously colored paper in their hands, laughing and young. He's only a year older than them, but he feels ancient."I'm still close by, too. I know I'm not Seokjin, but I'll do my best. Whatever you need," says Yoongi."What if I need a million dollars?""I'll go up to five bucks," says Yoongi, then laughs when Taehyung whines. "But seriously. I know I'm busy, but I'm never too busy for you.""I know," says Taehyung.And he does know, but something he would never tell Yoongi is that he and Jin matched in a way that couldn't be replicated. Taehyung has known Yoongi his whole life and loves him fiercely, but they've never been even close to the same. Because Yoongi knows him, still knows him better than anyone, but he'd never understood him. Not in the bones, in the way where Yoongi wouldn't challenge him, or prod at him, or try to trim his faults off just a little bit. Some of the smoothing was nice, but Seokjin had accepted him without question and Taehyung would miss that."I really am grateful for the single room," he says instead as they walk through the lobby doors. The desk attendant waves at them, familiar, and Taehyung waves back while Yoongi grunts a hello. "If I didn't tell you that enough, I'm sorry. I'm really really really grateful."Yoongi pauses at the turning to his room. "You're welcome. But it's a responsibility. Make sure you're careful with it," he says. "I promised your mom you wouldn't get into any trouble.""What kind of trouble could I possibly get into?" asks Taehyung. "I think I was more in danger of burning the place down with Seokjin than I will be alone.""Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Whatever."Taehyung giggles, completely delighted. "Seokjin was the one who always snuck the rum in. I have a Costco-sized package of Pixie sticks, so I'll be on a sugar high almost every day, but that's the only drug I plan on using. And sex will require a lot more twos to show up on campus than currently exist. Don't worry, Yoongi. My mom won't whack you with the annoyance towel when we go back on break."Yoongi doesn't laugh, but his eyes smile a little. "Just keep in mind that I see all of the visitors logs, and I schedule all of the random inspections, and I know every single one of Jin's hiding places."Taehyung salutes. "Aye aye, captain. I'll be good, if only because you saved me from a year of rooming with Yugyeom and the specter of Jeongguk's perfection."Then Yoongi does laugh, a big belly one, even as he says, "Be nice to him.""I'm always nice," says Taehyung, walking away when Yoongi keeps laughing, little giggles that ripple through him in endless waves. There's no dealing with him when he's like this, Taehyung knows from experience, so Taehyung goes to the stairs and starts the trudge upwards to his new, empty room.But his room isn't empty when he gets there, because it's full of an enthusiastic Yugyeom. "Taehyung!" he says when Taehyung opens the door. "Welcome back! Did Seokjin get moved okay?"Taehyung stares at his doorknob, flummoxed. "I thought I locked this. Did I forget to lock it again?""I have a key," says Yugyeom. "For your safety. What if you get sick and Yoongi's in class? You need a backup. And you're my best friend, so I thought I'd be a good backup.""Oh," says Taehyung. "That's nice of you. Good thinking. But do you mind not coming in while I'm gone? Yoongi doesn't like stuff like that."Which isn't exactly true, since Yoongi only cares about the external visitor rule and gives no shits about Yugyeom in his room, but it's the first thing he can think of, and it apparently works because Yugyeom immediately agrees to the restriction. He also apologizes a hundred times, and Taehyung eventually has to give him a hug just to get him to stop.Yugyeom hugs him back, and Taehyung manages to extract himself with some effort. "Did you have more pictures from your trip home to show me?"Taehyung hasn't been to Korea since he was a kid, and he has no plans to go back, really, but looking at pictures of it is nice enough and Yugyeom's stories are among the more interesting things he has to say. Definitely more interesting than study techniques or physics concepts or -"No! I have to tell you the news. I wanted to tell you first," says Yugyeom, bouncing on his toes a little. "Jeongguk is coming here!""To visit?""To go to school," says Yugyeom, beaming with the light of a thousand suns. "USC scouted him and gave him a better swimming scholarship than where he already accepted, so he's going to come here next week to start classes! He's going to be my roommate! I think it must be fate that you had to take this single room and couldn't room with me, so that I could be with him. You guys are going to be such good friends, I'm sure of it. You're both so cool."Taehyung blinks, twice, still a little behind the times, then groans internally. A Jeongguk three thousand miles away was bad enough, but up close and personal Taehyung is probably going to have to strangle him. Either Jeongguk is going to be just as annoying as Yugyeom or he really is going to be an untouchable Superman and Taehyung's not exactly excited about either outcome."That's great!" says Taehyung. "I'm so excited to meet him."Yugyeom starts chattering about Jeongguk's GPA and amazing English skills and how he's memorized every song by some rapper that Taehyung doesn't listen to, and Taehyung tunes him out as he puts his shoes away and unpacks one of his waiting boxes, nodding all the while.During one of Yugyeom's pauses for breath, Taehyung suddenly says, "Wait, he's good enough to be scouted for the Trojan swimming team?"Because Taehyung isn't an athlete, but he hangs around enough of them to know that the swim team here is no joke. Potential Olympians come out of it. Seems more and more like Jeongguk will be the Superman version of himself. And that he'll be ripped."Oh yeah, he's the best swimmer," says Yugyeom. "Better than Michael Phelps, probably.""And when is he getting here?""Not until Sunday," says Yugyeom. "The paperwork won't be finished until right before classes start."Taehyung nods. "Got it. Sorry to run, but I really need to get to the gym. See you around?"Yugyeom hugs him again and leaves, still talking to himself as he goes into the hall, and Taehyung changes into his one pair of athletic shorts and a band t-shirt that he's pretty sure he stole from Yoongi. He stuffs his feet into his tennis shoes that are more for style than function and heads down the stairs with steely purpose.Yoongi's at the front desk, talking over administrative junk with the attendant, and he grins when he sees Taehyung's clothing. "You see Yugyeom?""I'll be lifting enormous amounts of weight if anyone needs me," says Taehyung, not bothering to stop."I give it two days!" yells Yoongi after him, and Taehyung flips him off as he jogs outside.It takes three days before Taehyung's arms physically can't take anymore curling, capped by an embarrassing lunch in the dining hall where he begs Yoongi to feed him so he doesn't have to lift his hand up so high, which Yoongi categorically refuses to do. He also refuses to push food into Taehyung's mouth off the edge of the table, and Taehyung only avoids starvation when Seokjin shows up and agrees to feed him instead.So he's not going to be ripped, and he's probably not ever going to get perfect grades, but he knows everyone and they all like him and he's going to keep riding that wave as long as he can. He starts going to the frats, checking in with his network, wandering into places where most people aren't allowed but they allow him because he's good at belonging. Plus he's set most of them up on successful dates with each other, and they're all very thankful for his services.But that doesn't solve everything. At the frats he's cool, and in the coffeshops and the bars and other hangouts, but he realizes in the dining hall that without Seokjin's steady, magnetic presence at the dorms he just has Yoongi, which isn't enough. Yoongi is cool in his way, but he's cool by being overly inclusive and non-judgmental. Which Taehyung likes, of course, it's very admirable, and he's complimented Yoongi on it a hundred times. But it's not the kind of image he's looking to project at this particular moment.Plus Yoongi doesn't always want to eat with him because he's reading. He's always reading these days. From what Taehyung can tell, all grad students do is read and complain about how tired they are, and Yoongi hasn't even started his actual classes yet.Friday is one of the reading days, during the lunch rush that's finally an actual crowd and not just a stream of freshman and people who had to get to campus early. Yoongi has three textbooks spread out on his table, missing the plate with his fork half of the time and chewing with his mouth open like a vacant cow. It's a little endearing and a little gross, and Taehyung slides onto the bench next to him and closes his jaw with an index finger."Ah, Taehyung, please join me," says Yoongi flatly, not even looking over."Thank you.""That was sarcasm. Go away. Find some of your jocks to eat with.""Excuse me, I have intellectual friends, too," says Taehyung. "We talk about paintings and culture and speak French together.""You don't speak French.""I speak art," says Taehyung. "It's close. But that's not the point. Who's that kid over there?""I don't know," says Yoongi automatically.Taehyung sighs. "You didn't even look. You said you'd never be too busy for me and now you're too busy for me. This is a betrayal."Yoongi rolls his eyes, but it works because he puts his finger on the page and looks up. "Which kid?""That one," says Taehyung, turning Yoongi's head to the side and putting his chin on his shoulder. Yoongi hisses at the sharp jut of it, trying fruitlessly to shake him off, and Taehyung smiles as he points over the other shoulder. "He's right there! Looking at his phone and tapping his little feet on the ground. They're so tiny!""You mean the Korean kid in the glasses? Which you could have just said, out loud?""I don't see race. Or eyewear.""I changed my mind. I'm too busy for you, always," says Yoongi, turning back to the book.Taehyung lays his head down on top of it like a cat, and Yoongi's face looks weird sideways. "Who is he? Please please please!""Fine. His name is Jimin. He's from Busan but he's been in the States since high school. I've never talked to him so I can't tell you anything else.""Jimin. That's a good name," says Taehyung thoughtfully, sitting back up when Yoongi pushes his head onto the table. "Why is he eating all alone? He should have a lot of friends. He's cute like a little teddy bear."Yoongi says nothing, very pointedly. He has the most expressive silences of any human Taehyung has ever met."You have to know something. What's his major? Does he like dogs? Has he ever cried during one of those really sad Superbowl ads?"Yoongi licks the pad of his thumb and turns a page."Do you think he already has a best friend? I'm in the market for a new Seokjin."That makes Yoongi snort. "You're going to terrify him. Seokjin only refrained from running away screaming when you met because I'd prepared him with stories for years."Taehyung stands abruptly, sweeping his arms out to envelop the whole world. "That's what you think. You don't know anything about people, Min Yoongi, and I know everything. Good day, sir."Yoongi grunts a goodbye, turning another page, and Taehyung marches across the room with his food and sits down across from Jimin with a thunk of his tray that's more aggressive than he means it to be. He smiles as Jimin squeaks and almost falls off his bench, then unrolls his silverware and takes a bite of pasta, making an appreciative noise. "I'm Kim Taehyung. Please don't speak Korean to me, I'm garbage at it. You're Jimin?""Yes," says Jimin, very softly, a little question in his tone, and Taehyung wants to squeeze him around the middle until his stuffing comes out."Jimin, I'm conducting interviews for the position of my dorm best friend and you've been scouted by fate to be one of the candidates! But you must answer me these questions three before receiving a binding offer. Do you accept the interview?"Jimin's eyes are wide like saucers, and he's as cute as Seokjin but nowhere near as loud. That's okay, though. Taehyung's really good at being loud all on his own. But for now he's quiet, waiting with an encouraging smile, and Jimin eventually nods so small that it can hardly be called a nod.It's enough."Question one," says Taehyung, clearing his throat and sitting up straight. "Rank the classic Starbursts from best to worst.""By color or taste?""Yes.""Pink, orange, red, yellow," says Jimin with surprising confidence.Taehyung claps. "Pink are actually disgusting but it means we'll share a bag without fighting. Excellent. Question two. You're walking through campus and it's a nice sunny afternoon with lots of flowers and no bees and you have new sunglasses on. It's a perfect day. And then you see a short little dog running across the lawn towards you and it has its tongue all the way out as it bounces over the grass. What do you do?"Jimin stares at him, then touches his glasses like they're suddenly going to be sunglasses. "I pet the dog?""Another correct answer! We've never had someone make it this far before, but please don't be nervous. The final question is very difficult. You'll do great," says Taehyung. He smiles reassuringly and shovels more pasta in his mouth. Around the food, he asks, "What's that lifting machine in the gym with the really long bar called, where and you sit in the seat and yank down on it? For bonus points, which part of your body does it make sexy?""The lat pulldown machine? It's good for your top back muscles," says Jimin, gesturing to his own back and biting his lip. "I'm not sure what the muscles are called, though. I'm in elementary education, not medical school."Taehyung waves away the scientific names of muscles, which are not at all important. "That was a trick question because I have no idea what it's for. I just like the really long bar and sitting in the chair, and I wanted to solve the mystery. So you go to the gym a lot?""Um, I have to stay in shape for my dance teams, so I go to the gym sometimes. I guess.""Oh my god, you dance too? I love it. Please be my dorm best friend," says Taehyung, clasping his hands together in front of him in pleading. "We'll be unstoppable together!"Jimin smiles a little, but his eye are still too wide. Taehyung wonders if that's just how wide his eyes are all the time. If so, he likes it.When Jimin doesn't answer, Taehyung frowns. "Unless you already have a best friend?""No, I just arrived," says Jimin, toying with his salad. "I only know a few people on campus. I just… you seem really cool. I'm not really very cool.""You are the coolest," says Taehyung firmly. "You passed my entire quiz. Plus I like your eyes. They're kind. I'm never wrong about eyes."Jimin blinks, a smile still playing around his lips, but he doesn't protest anymore. They eat together for the rest of lunch, Taehyung carrying the conversation and Jimin relaxing very slowly. Taehyung eventually coaxes an unbridled laugh out of him, and Jimin has a great laugh that makes his usually wide eyes totally disappear, and Taehyung honestly feels like he's made the best decision of his entire life by sitting down at this table.When they're done, Taehyung wipes his mouth with his napkin and says, "Do you want to come to my room? I have to hear your entire life story now."And he knows that Jimin finally feels comfortable when he says, "Okay," instead of looking like a deer that's about to get hit by a car.Taehyung locks their elbows together as they leave, which is made somewhat difficult by the trays they're carrying. He also makes sure to chart a course to the trash that passes Yoongi's book-filled table, saying loudly, "I sure am happy to have made a wonderful best friend today who's not scared of me at all!"Yoongi's face doesn't even flicker as he says, "Jimin, nice to meet you. I'm Yoongi, your RA, and I'm just a phone call away if you need to be rescued from him."Taehyung sweeps Jimin past him before he can answer, and when they're outside Jimin says quietly, "I am a little scared of you, you know.""That's a very common reaction," says Taehyung, steering them towards the dorm building with a happy smile. "But I grow on you. That's what my mom says. Come on, let's watch musicals and sing into water bottles."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I think pink," says Taehyung, running his hand through Jimin's hair. "Yoongi?""Don't you have your own room? I distinctly remember getting you your own room," says Yoongi from his desk."You invited us here.""I absolutely did not.""Your eyes said you were lonely when I saw you in the lobby," says Taehyung. "What do you think about pink?""The singer? She's good."Yoongi grins, annoyingly amused with himself, and Taehyung rolls his eyes and turns back to Jimin. Not that Jimin will say much in front of Yoongi, who seems to terrify him no matter how many times Taehyung tells him that Yoongi's only rude to Taehyung. So he's trying to get Jimin used to him via constant exposure, like they talk about in his psych classes, but they've only been best friends for twenty-two hours and it's a work in progress."So, pink?" he asks.Jimin bites his lip. "I kind of like my natural hair.""I like it too," says Taehyung. "But this is college. Your first week of college. You have to start bold. Plus I really want to dye my hair green and I hate getting it done alone."Yoongi snorts. "You're only doing that because my hair was green sophomore year.""Be quiet, you're not even here right now," says Taehyung, snuggling closer to Jimin. "Please Minnie? We can go tomorrow. The salon always makes you smell really nice, too.""I don't want to stand out," says Jimin. "And I've been to two years of college already, you know.""Community college where you still lived with your parents," says Taehyung. "I'm sure you learned lots of stuff or whatever, but that's not real college life. It was just a warm up for now, when you can have pink hair and be the hottest guy on campus. That's what college is all about!""Oh," says Jimin, looking at his reflection in the hand mirror that Taehyung had stolen from Yoongi's bathroom. "You think?""I know," says Taehyung. "I'll make the appointment. And pay for it. If you hate it you can shave my whole head!"Jimin giggles when Taehyung pulls his hair back under his hand, simulating baldness, and Taehyung gives him a mock glare for daring to make fun of him. Jimin just laughs harder, reaching his own hands up to hide more hair."I'm going to be such a hot eighty year old," says Taehyung, sneaking his own look in the mirror.Yoongi clears his throat like he's going to say something, but before he can Seokjin offers a perfunctory tap on the door and waltzes in. "Stop crying, your reason for living has returned.""Jinnie!" yells Taehyung, launching himself across the room and jumping onto Seokjin's back, which isn't easy since Seokjin twists around to try to hug him. But Taehyung's long arms were made for clinging, and he thinks this is probably a good ab workout, somehow. From his awkward position he adds, "This is Park Jimin, new student and future greatest elementary school teacher and a very cool person."Seokjin shakes himself like a wet dog, and Taehyung falls off of him reluctantly. "Nice to meet you, Jimin. Sorry about this one, he's never been house-trained. Is he bothering you?"Jimin shakes his head, his eyes doing his wide, over-awed thing again. "Hello. I've heard a lot about you.""Naturally," says Seokjin. "Yoongi, a pleasure as always.""Hey Jin. Please take them away. I still have ten chapters of pre-reading to do, a lesson plan to finalize, and a social event to arrange."Jimin stands up quickly, bowing before he remembers where he is and turns it into a sort of half-crouch of shame. "I'm so sorry, I'll go. Thank you for letting us spend time in your room.""You're not the problem," says Yoongi, but his face is only at level three annoyance threat so Taehyung ignores him."Before you go, impossibly polite Jimin, would you like to come out to dinner tomorrow night?" asks Seokjin. "I came to ask Taehyung and Yoongi and to make sure they haven't locked each other in a closet yet, but you'd be more than welcome to join us. As Taehyung's… friend?"Taehyung barks a laugh. "Subtle. But come on. Jimin's way too good to waste on dating. I'm in love with his entire soul. That's for best friends, not stupid boyfriends." He gasps suddenly, turning to Jimin in horror. "That's okay with you, right? Oh my god, you didn't want to date me, did you?"Yoongi laughs, and so does Jimin, and then Seokjin joins in, his shoulders shaking with it. Taehyung looks between them all, totally nonplussed. "What's funny?""You," says Yoongi."I'm a sympathetic laugher," says Seokjin."I've never even had a boyfriend," says Jimin, more kindly. "But I don't think you'd be my first choice."Seokjin nods vigorously, but Taehyung's too shocked to be offended. "You've never had a boyfriend? That's a crime. That's fully a crime, and people should be in jail for that. I should be in jail for that. How have we been best friends for almost a day and you haven't had a boyfriend yet? Jin, you're going to have to pick out my clothes for tomorrow as punishment.""It's really okay," says Jimin, though his eyes are a little wistful."I'll proudly give you an ugly outfit, but what about my dinner invitation?" asks Seokjin, poking Taehyung's arm.Taehyung rubs it absently, still flipping through his mental list of available men. "Can't. Gotta meet Jeongguk tomorrow.""The Jeongguk?" says Seokjin, his disappointment changing to delight. "Eight feet tall, learned to speak twenty languages in the womb, first known human to break the sound barrier in water?"Yoongi gives him a disapproving glare, and Seokjin shrugs apologetically, but Taehyung's already laughing. "Yeah, he's coming to school here, and Yugyeom's booked me all night. And Jimin.""I'm only going to dinner with you guys," says Jimin. "I have to get plenty of sleep before the first day of class.""A friend of Tae's who focuses on academics? Unicorns are real!" says Seokjin. "Yoongi?""Sure," he says. "If you pay and it's not too far away.""It's on the moon and I won't even bring my wallet," says Seokjin. "See you there. Come on you dorks, give the man his room back. Let's go pick out Taehyung's punishment clothes."He yanks on Taehyung's arm and gets him out the door, and Jimin follows, calling back another polite thanks. Taehyung yells, "Get Hot Cheetos for next time," for his part, and Yoongi flips him the double bird which makes Seokjin laugh."You two really might kill each other this year," he says, shaking his head as the walk."No way," says Taehyung. "We never get actually mad at each other because we're always fighting. It's a genius plan. Plus he can't resist me. I'm Tae."Seokjin looks at Jimin and sighs. "He really is impossible. I hope you can succeed where I failed and fix him."And Taehyung protests that he's already amazing as they go up to his room, Jimin coming out of his shell a little under Seokjin's persistent joking, and it's a perfect afternoon with his two best friends.Taehyung has never worked so hard at something in his entire life as he has trying to make conversation with Jeon Jeongguk."So," he says brightly, his fingers around his cup, "Yugyeom says you like video games?"It's a mistake, he knows it's a mistake even as the words leave his mouth because Jeongguk looks at him with his blinking, placid gaze and says, "Yes."And that's the end, because Taehyung had been stupid enough to ask him a yes or no question instead of something open-ended. It's not that Jeongguk's rude about it. He doesn't bite off his words or sigh at the inconvenience of a question, and he smiles politely at Taehyung and Jimin whenever the situation calls for it. He just doesn't talk. At all.They're at a burger place, nothing fancy, typical Americana to get Jeongguk used to the style of his temporary home, and Jeongguk has eaten a solid four hamburgers without an ounce of shame or worry. He eats them methodically and neatly, his black hoodie up around his head like it's freezing cold outside, athletic mesh shorts and Timberlands on his lower half. He shouldn't look cool in any way given that mess of an aesthetic and his perfectly neutral face, but it somehow works for him. He just has it, whatever it is, that silent charisma of Yoongi.Taehyung hates silence.Taehyung throws a pleading glance at Jimin as he drinks his water, but Jimin hasn't been his best friend quite long enough to pick up on what he's supposed to do. It doesn't matter because Yugyeom's words spill out like he can't hold them in anymore. "Oh yeah, Kookie's great at video games. He plays Overwatch a lot, and he almost always gets Play of the Game. He's the best Widowmaker in Korea. He sniped three people in three seconds just the other day! It was great."Jeongguk shrugs, but his face lightens marginally, and Taehyung wishes he knew anything about Overwatch because that might get them through the rest of this meal. He makes a mental note to go to the bathroom and Google it later."I like Dream Daddy," says Jimin timidly.Taehyung high fives him across the table. "Yes! I live for Robert! Give me that prickly daddy with feelings every time.""What? Hugo is the best one!" says Jimin, leaning forward. "He's so sweet! And intellectual.""Intellect schmintellect. Leather jackets are so much hotter than bow ties.""I can't believe you," says Jimin, but he's laughing. "I'm not sure I can be best friends with a Robert man."Too late, Taehyung realizes that Yugyeom and Jeongguk are both staring at them in total confusion. "You guys don't know Dream Daddy?"Yugyeom says, "I think I've heard of it," but Jeongguk shakes his head."You have to play it!" says Taehyung. "It tells you everything important about yourself, plus it's cute. And you don't have to be gay to play it or anything. It's fun for everyone.""Is it an adventure game?" asks Jeongguk, his first question of the night."It's more like a book that you play," says Jimin. "A dating book. And you make choices, for your dialogue and stuff. Who to go out with. And you have a daughter who's really cool. It's so funny."Jeongguk shrugs again, and Jimin clasps his hands in front of him in a gesture Taehyung's come to realize means he's embarrassed. And that annoys him enough that he points at Yugyeom and says, "Brian."Jimin laughs, his eyes disappearing as he tilts forward and nods agreement. He points at Jeongguk and says, "Craig.""Bro!" says Taehyung, giving Jimin an exaggerated fist bump, complete with firework effects, and they both dissolve into giggles.Taehyung wishes it was this, just the two of them at a table, and he toys briefly with ignoring Jeongguk for the rest of the meal. But the nagging voice of Yoongi rises up from the depths of his mind in censure, so he sighs and re-dedicates himself to his task. "So, Jeongguk, what's it like to be a star swimmer?"Jeongguk looks at him for a little bit, blinking in thought or exhaustion or apathy, Taehyung can't tell. Eventually he says, in the tones of someone who's taken a long time to come to a final conclusion, "Wet."Yugyeom takes that as his cue to launch into a recitation of Jeongguk's swimming career, and Taehyung can't wait for the night to be over.He's still annoyed three days later when they're walking back from the salon. He and Jimin both have Wednesday afternoons off from classes, which Taehyung had quickly claimed as their best friend time, and he laughs every time Jimin touches his newly pink hair even through his annoyed rant."I'm trying so hard!" he says, dodging around a knot of girls who openly stare at them. "I really am. Please agree with me."Jimin nods and runs a hand through his hair again. "You are. You're nice.""Thank you! I am nice! But he just won't talk. And Yugyeom keeps bringing him to my room and he never has anything to say, he just sits there. I'm running out of conversation. And I never run out of conversation.""Maybe that's the problem?" says Jimin, and Taehyung frowns. "He just moved here, and he's never lived in the US before. I know I was overwhelmed when we came over. And you're kind of a lot, Tae."Taehyung gasps, and Jimin hastens to add, "In a good way. I love hanging out with you! But you might not be everyone's type of person, you know?""That's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me," says Taehyung. "And his English is perfect, just like Yugyeom said, so I still think he could talk to me even if I'm not his type of person."Jimin murmurs sympathetically, but before he can say anything a voice calls his name across the quad. Jimin's eyes get his usual wide, and Taehyung turns to see a tall Korean guy in an oversized t-shirt walking over to them. Taehyung has no idea who he is, which is almost impressive, but he's got thick glasses and even thicker books in his arms that immediately marks him as a zealous academic who lives in the library."Hi Namjoon," says Jimin, and Taehyung's eyes dart over to him suspiciously. He'd said that with a whole heart around the name, and his eyes are soft and dewy."I almost didn't recognize you," says the presumable Namjoon, pushing his glasses up his nose. "They say that pink is the oldest color on Earth. From dead algae that lived over a billion years ago, swimming in an ocean that doesn't even exist anymore. They were smaller than any organism we have in the entire world today. Anyway, I like your hair.""Thanks," says Jimin, ducking his head. He elbows Taehyung, who's a little horrified at the thought of dead algae on Jimin's head. "It was his idea.""Ah," says Namjoon, looking between them curiously. "I see. Hi Taehyung.""Hello," says Taehyung, confused that this guy knows his name, though he guesses he is campus-famous.Namjoon looks back at Jimin, then looks down at his books, fussing with them until they're exactly lined up. Taehyung sees ink-stains on his fingers, the sign of someone who's not only married to studying but afraid of using technology to do it, and he frowns.And Namjoon doesn't lift his eyes at all as he says, "So I never heard from you. About the meteor shower. Did you still want to watch it with me?"His face is bright red, almost glowing, which Taehyung would find funny if he wasn't on a mission to get Jimin his first boyfriend. And Jimin's first boyfriend can't be some guy with his nose buried in textbooks, wearing threadbare t-shirts and too busy with grades to show Jimin all the fun parts of dating. He's sure Namjoon is nice, even cute if he ever manages to look someone in the eye, but guys like him are for after college when fun is dead. Not for sweet, pink-haired Jimin who can have any man he sets his eyes on.And the saddest part is that Jimin isn't experienced enough to put Namjoon in the proper category, if his own rosy cheeks mean anything. The problem with boyfriend virgins is that they think all attention is the same, Taehyung knows, and this is going to be a little tricky but he thinks he's up for the subtle engineering that's going to be required of this situation."We're going to be late," says Taehyung quickly, tugging on Jimin's elbow. "Come on, I promised we'd meet the guys."Jimin stares at him, but Taehyung carefully doesn't notice. "Sorry!" he says to Namjoon, already moving down the sidewalk. "I'll make sure he remembers to text you! Bye!""Bye," says Namjoon, a little taken aback.He hitches up his books, pushing his glasses up again, and gives them a sort of half wave as they power walk off. Jimin waves back, then squeaks when Taehyung yanks him again."So who was that?" asks Taehyung casually once they're around the corner. "One of your professors?"Jimin trips over his feet trying to keep up with his rapid pace. "No, he's a student. I met him when I was wandering around the first day, mapping out where all of my classes were, and he showed me where the bathroom was. He was really nice. But he's not in education, he's doing his astrophysics PhD even though he's only twenty-three. And he has his own telescope, and he wants to show me a meteor shower on Friday. But we have the dorm party so I wasn't sure what to do. What do you think I should do?"He says it all in one big breath, his eyes pleading, and Taehyung says without hesitation, "You can't miss the dorm party! It's the first one we're having, and you have to meet everyone. Plus Yoongi wants our help."When Jimin still looks uncertain, he adds, "And I need my scientifically selected best friend to save me from Jeongguk silences. Please!"Jimin's questioning expression turns into pleased lines, and he nods. He looks up at Taehyung like he has the whole world mapped across him, wonderful and mysterious, and Taehyung hugs him as they slow their pace. Jimin says into side, "I'm really glad I met you.""Me too," says Taehyung, and he means it so much he thinks his heart might explode out of his chest. "Now let's go see some of my friends. Frat Row is right down this street, and I want to show off my new hair."And show off Jimin, of course, but if he says that to Jimin then he'll have to chase him to drag him back and Jimin is very, very fast when they go jogging together. But Taehyung would chase him anyway, because there are dozens of hot, single, fun-having guys at the frats who will be absolutely smitten with Taehyung's new best friend if he has anything to say about it. He hasn't settled on Jimin's perfect match yet, but this will be a great opportunity to make a final selection.The lawn in front of Pi Kappa Phi is most heavily populated and thus his target, a couple of kiddie wading pools, an abundance of water guns, and a sprinkler ensuring that there's an artisanal selection of shirtless men. And bikini-clad women, of course, but that's not important to him at this minute.There's almost too many people lounging in the sunshine, because Jimin suddenly slows down, scooting back behind Taehyung's arm. Taehyung shifts aside easily, putting the same arm around Jimin's shoulders and tugging him in closer with a big smile."They're all so big," whispers Jimin."I know!" says Taehyung happily. "It's gonna be fine. They'll love you as much as I do."A couple of guys with their feet in one of the pools notice him and call him over. They're all holding water bottles that are almost certainly full of some kind of alcohol, and Taehyung can't remember all of their names but they're things like Brock and Tristan and Steve, and they all look really good in their swimsuits. There are even a few twos among them. Nothing that had ever really tempted Taehyung, but there are plenty of excellent choices for Jimin's first dating experience.Taehyung waves, steering Jimin towards them, and he gets around his forgetfulness by pointing at them all in turn and making them say their name, rank and serial number like it's a war movie. One of them really is a Tristan, and Taehyung is very proud of himself."Great hair," says Parker, who Taehyung thinks he kissed once last year, and Taehyung runs his fingers through the mint green strands."I know. Don't get me wet though, we just got back from the salon. This is Jimin, by the way. He's new here this year, and he's my very best friend so you'd better be really nice to him. Really, really nice!"And they all give Jimin the appropriate appreciative looks, and Jimin smiles shyly even as his feet turn to the side like he might be thinking about running away."I don't think that's going to be a problem at all," says Tristan, grinning. "You want a water, Jimin?"Jimin nods, and Taehyung leans over and whispers, "Make sure the bottle isn't open," before turning back to the guys. "I haven't gotten a single party invitation yet. Do you guys hate me now, or what?"They rush to assure him that Tae Kim has a VIP invitation to any social event they ever throw, but they're getting the lay of the campus land before sorting their plans out. They throw Jimin onto their VIP list without Taehyung even asking, and he smiles at Jimin triumphantly. Someone drags an overstuffed chair over, motioning him to sit, and he squishes up so that Jimin can share it with him while he sips his water.The guys start talking about sports and classes and beer preferences and things that Taehyung sometimes knows and sometimes doesn't, but they're always careful to keep him included if he shows any inclination to speak. He even recognizes a couple of people from the education track and calls them over so Jimin can talk about familiar things, which finally gets Jimin to speak in his sweet, captivating voice. And when he does, he sees some gazes sharpen in even more interest, and Taehyung is very happy."So, anyone catching your eye?" he murmurs eventually, scooting closer to Jimin and running his fingers through his not-at-all-algae hair. "You've already got them all bewitched.""I do not," whispers Jimin furiously, face turning sunset colors."They only get real water for guys they want to come back," says Taehyung, giggling when Jimin elbows him. He follows the line of Jimin's eyes and lights up when he sees the target. "What about that guy? Blue trunks, six feet four inches of sex?""He's cute," says Jimin, almost too soft to hear, then buries his face in Taehyung's shoulder."Good, I know him," says Taehyung. "We'll get him over here after we've cuddled a bit more. These guys are all weak for cuddling."Jimin doesn't agree, but he doesn't protest, just drinks an agitated sip of water. He swallows heavily, then says, "Why aren't you dating any of them? Or anyone, really? You seem like you'd be really good at dating, and they're all in love with you.""I know!" says Taehyung. "Seokjin and I are amazing at making people fall in love with us. But honestly, I'm just not really interested. They're nice, and fun to kiss sometimes, but I've already dated enough people to know what I want. They're not it. I'm so picky! So I'm on the lookout, sort of, but I'm already pretty content with my life. I've got Yoongi, and Seokjin, and you, and my parents, and lots of other friends and that seems like plenty. I don't need a boyfriend. Plus I'm too old for it all anyway.""You're only nineteen. I'm older than you are!"Taehyung steals a drink from Jimin's bottle, and says, "Age is experience not time. You need to have some experiences! And you're so adorable. I can't believe you've never had a boyfriend before.""My family is pretty conservative, and I'm kind of shy," says Jimin, trailing off."But your family's not here. I am. And you can't possibly be shy when I'm here. Operation Mini-Muffin is ready to launch," says Taehyung. "Hey Seb! Come here!"The Greek god in blue trunks turns around with a ready smile on his face, almost like he'd been expecting the call out, and Taehyung rolls his eyes at his cocky grin. But it's a handsome cocky grin, and he's definitely smooth enough to get Jimin over any shyness so he's a good candidate. Especially since Jimin's vibrating a little next to him, breathing in a little more shallowly as Seb's six pack and dark, piercing eyes make their way closer."Hey Tae," he says when he gets closer. "Who's your friend?"Taehyung makes the introductions, then settles back to fan the fire as necessary. It's not very necessary, Seb's natural flirting taking over nicely, and Jimin doesn't seem to be thinking about Namjoon at all anymore, which is perfect as far as Taehyung's concerned. But eventually there's a lull, and Tae leans forward with a hopeful smile. "Will you show Jimin how to play cornhole? Please? He was saying he wanted to learn how, but I'm so comfy here."He gestures over to to the other side of the green lawn, where people are tossing bean bags back and forth with varied skill, then bats his eyes in his most convincing way.Seb gives him an amused look but holds his hand out and says, "Sure. Come on, Jimin."Jimin puts his tiny hand inside of Seb's huge one, looking thrilled, and when Seb pulls him up like he has no weight it startles a laugh out of him. They walk off together, Jimin giving Tae huge eyes when he turns around to stare at him, and Taehyung leans back into his plush chair, closes his eyes behind his sunglasses, and enjoys the warmth.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I'm here to help!" says Taehyung, scrolling through his phone in the middle of the dorm common room. There are other people there, bustling around and hanging up a welcome sign and chattering to each other, and Taehyung already feels the energy returning to his body after a long day of learning.Yoongi takes the phone out of his hand and puts it in his own pocket. "Great. You're in charge of putting up the decorations. The bags are over there.""My phone," says Taehyung sadly, but he slouches over to the table piled with Walmart bags. He digs through the sacks, distress growing as he sees weirdly colored balloons and crepe streamers. "Yoongi, do you think that we're hosting an elementary school birthday party?""Yes.""Well, we're not," says Taehyung. "Do we at least have a helium tank?""You do not get to touch the helium tank," says Yoongi. He turns to the uncertain figure still standing in the door and adds, "Jimin, thanks for coming. Jeongguk should be here soon, can you guys move the furniture to the walls when he shows up?"Taehyung spins around and jumps up and down. "I want to move furniture with Jimin!"Yoongi looks down at his checklist. "It says here you're on decoration duty unless you can squat at least three-fifty.""Hey! This is discrimination against people with skinny thighs," says Taehyung. "I can't help it that I was born without muscle mass.""Think of it as motivation to get to the gym," says Yoongi, grinning.A couple of Brazilian kids show up and Yoongi turns to give them their assignment, which means he totally misses Taehyung sticking his tongue out at him. Jimin doesn't, and he giggles."I'll help you until Jeongguk gets here," he says. "I bet you're going to make this place look great. You're so artistic!"Slightly mollified, Taehyung starts pairing streamer colors, which he has to admit aren't totally terrible. Yoongi's an engineering student, but he's a surprisingly creative one, and he at least knows what things go together. Jimin helps him twine strands, holding out tape and scissors like a surgical assistant whenever Taehyung calls for it. Taehyung looks up at the ceiling, starting to plot out his placement, but he's distracted when Jimin pulls out his own phone."Is that Seb?" he asks, waggling his eyebrows even though Jimin's not looking at him. They'd exchanged numbers at the end of the Frat Row meet up, thanks to Taehyung telling them to, and he'd helpfully presided over Jimin's first casual text conversation with him earlier that week. Seb had already agreed to an unspecified future coffee date, and Taehyung had big plans for that."Namjoon," says Jimin, wiping the smile off of Taehyung's face, though fortunately Jimin doesn't notice. "I told him I couldn't see the meteor shower because of the party, so he's sending me updates from his telescope. I don't understand any of the words he's using, but the pictures are really pretty."Jimin puts the phone practically in Taehyung's eye, and he can't really see the picture at that distance but he says, "Yeah, really pretty. Oh look, Jeongguk is here! You'd better help him out or Yoongi's going to steal your phone too."That gets Jimin scared, as Taehyung intended, and he puts his phone away with a little squeak. He makes his way over to Jeongguk, who is once again wearing a huge black hoodie and looks like he's on his way to knock over a 7-Eleven. He and Jimin start manhandling massive wooden furniture like it doesn't weigh anything, totally silently, and Taehyung doesn't understand them at all.But he doesn't have time to ponder their acceptance of not talking when there is a person right there to talk to before someone hops on his back. "Taehyung! I'm decorating with you! What should I do?""Hi Yugyeom," says Taehyung. He reaches around to pat him on the head before shaking him off. "There's some streamers put together on the table, can you find a chair that we can stand on to tape them to the ceiling?""Sure!"He bounces away, and Taehyung takes the opportunity to catch Yoongi's eye and draw his finger across his neck. Yoongi grins at him again, then motions for him to continue working like he's some kind of Victorian housewife and Taehyung's his parlor maid.Taehyung narrows his eyes."Found a chair," says Yugyeom brightly, dragging a metal folding chair across the floor behind him."Awesome," says Taehyung. "Hey, can you go ask the front desk manager where the helium tank is? Then we can blow up all of the balloons. Don't ask Yoongi, though, he's too busy for us to bother him with it."And when Yoongi opens the door to the janitor's closet later, irritably asking why there are still no decorations, he finds Taehyung, Jimin, Yugyeom and Jeongguk surrounded by floating balloons and laughing hysterically in high pitched voices, spurring each other on with their chipmunk giggles. Taehyung doesn't even hesitate when Yoongi breathes in to start a lecture, falling to his knees and breaking into his best Mariah Carey impersonation while Jimin collapses against the wall, barely breathing.Yoongi tries to kick them out, cheeks bunched up in ultimate annoyance threat level, but using the power of Mariah Taehyung manages to wheedle him into taking his own mouthful of helium and rapping a Drake song. He does it with a sort of smile on his face, laughing at himself, but when he sees Yugyeom gleefully recording him they're all summarily put on a decoration chain gang that lasts until the first strains of house music start the party proper.But Taehyung doesn't care, because Yugyeom's already sent the video, which means he's got enough Yoongi blackmail for at least four favors in his back pocket and that's the realest currency in the world.Seokjin and Todd's apartment looks like a Crate and Barrel exploded inside of it.They're telling him a story, something about a squirrel who wouldn't get out of someone's bicycle basket, but Taehyung is too busy picking up every wicker knickknack and turning it over in his hands like he's looking for surveillance bugs. Which he is. Seokjin has the most garish taste of anyone he's ever known when it comes to collectibles, so clearly the NSA has gotten to these people and Taehyung is the only one who can save them.He finds a pad of paper, personalized Jin and Todd stationery with bluebirds in the corner and an inspirational quote on the bottom and he shudders. His search through a few random drawers unearths a pen, luckily a regular plastic Bic, and he scribbles, Blink twice if you're under duress right over the bluebird's face.When he holds it up to Todd, who's still talking about squirrels, he just trails off and looks confused. Taehyung sighs and shows it to Seokjin, who rolls his eyes."Some people like things that go together," he says. "And Todd's mother was very generous."Taehyung's shoulders immediately loosen. "So this is future mother-in-law-inspired decor? Thank god. Please don't turn into a boring grown up on me."Todd frowns. "I like it. It's homey.""Retirement homey," says Taehyung, but he gives Todd a big hug to soften it. "It's okay, you guys are hot enough to live inside of an actual retirement home and you'd still be powerful. But don't talk about squirrels anymore! I think it summons them, and I don't want squirrels today."Seokjin laughs at that, which Taehyung adores, but they don't get to go on a bit about squirrel summoning because there's a knock at the door.Todd and Seokjin exchange a knowing look that Taehyung's not a part of, and he's just gearing up to be annoyed when Todd derails him by opening the door to reveal the hottest guy Taehyung has ever seen. He's got orange-red hair which looks exactly like the inside of a grapefruit, a smile with more teeth than are in a standard mouth but in a good way, and he's dressed in a leather jacket with a black t-shirt so tight it's basically a part of his body."Wow," says Taehyung when he gives Todd a back-slapping hug, and the guy turns his wide smile onto Taehyung."You're even hotter than your picture," says the guy. "Nice.""Are you stalking me?" asks Taehyung. "Because that drops you way down in my personalized ranking system."Seokjin laughs. "He's seen my Instagram.""Oh, that's fine then. You have a great Instagram. It always makes me so hungry.""Me too," says the hot guy, winking. "I'm Hoseok. You're Taehyung.""I am," says Taehyung proudly. He turns back around to the floating shelving unit behind him and picks up a twine ball with no apparent purpose. "What do you think of this?""Too brown.""I know!" says Taehyung, nodding vigorously.Todd puts Hoseok into a headlock, which Hoseok flips out of deftly, cracking up, then falls onto their loveseat. He pats the cushion next to him, looking at Taehyung, and he jumps onto it and grabs an autumn-toned throw pillow to hold. Hoseok watches every move he makes, and Taehyung thinks that he's a definite two."So how do you know Seokjin?" Taehyung asks."I actually know Todd," says Hoseok, leaning back and spreading his legs wide. "We went to high school together.""Wrestling team," says Todd. "This guy's a slippery bastard to pin down."Hoseok laughs. "Not for the right guy."Seokjin high fives him from the neighboring sofa, then high fives Todd for the set up. Taehyung squeezes his pillow and says, "I like wrestling. It's fun when they jump off the rope and land on the other person and break all their bones."All three of them crack up, though Taehyung's not sure what's so funny, but Hoseok's laugh is so good that it really doesn't matter."Anyway, we fell out of touch when his parents shipped him to Korea to get in touch with his roots and teach English," says Todd. "But he called me up a few days ago and said he's back, doing some certification classes, and he needed a place to stay until he works out his own arrangements. The bro code is clear in these situations."Seokjin takes Todd's chin in his hand and says firmly, "Darling, what did we say about the b-word?""Sorry sweetie," says Todd, kissing Seokjin on the nose contritely, and Hoseok makes a whip-crack sound that has Taehyung doubled over in laughing agreement.Seokjin is totally unbothered, blowing them both an airy kiss, and Hoseok grins. "Sorry to be an imposition, but you're the only guy I know in town besides a kid named Yugyeom who plagued me all summer, and he lives in a dorm so it's not exactly an option. I found a place to park a few blocks away, and all my stuff is in my car. No rush, but if you could help me carry it here later that would be great.""I love to carry things," says Taehyung, carefully not mentioning that he lives in the same dorm as Yugyeom in case it loses him any coolness points.Seokjin snorts, and Hoseok gives him an appraising look. "Seems like you'd be more into getting carried.""Mmmm. I do want piggyback rides all the time.""Then feel free to call me anytime for a piggyback Uber," says Hoseok. "Oh wait, you don't have my number, do you?"Taehyung pulls out his phone with a smile, taking down the number while Seokjin drags Todd into their kitchen to get drinks and make out, if Taehyung is any judge. He snaps a picture of Hoseok to save with the contact, laughing at the double peace signs he pulls, and texts him a cactus emoji to give him his own number."So, Taetae, I should warn you that I love to flirt," says Hoseok, taking his own picture of Taehyung from much too close. "And you're already my favorite person in this city, so tell me now if you're not into a five month late night texting affair.""I was born for it. I can make fifteen different winking emojis," says Taehyung. "Twenty if the guy's really cute.""I bet I can get you to twenty-five," says Hoseok, his half-smile even hotter than his full one.Taehyung accepts the challenge, crossing his legs underneath him like he's not bothered at all. "Let's start out with fifteen and see where it goes.""Oh, you're going to be trouble, aren't you?""I'm an angel," says Taehyung, reaching up to adjust his invisible halo, and when Seokjin and Todd make it back out with their hair unkempt and clothes askew, Hoseok and Taehyung are already debating the dating habits of angels, and how they might apply to their current situation.Being late for coffee is surprisingly trickier than being early. Jimin had flat out refused to go to his coffee date without Taehyung alongside him, which Seb annoyingly agreed to, so Taehyung is having to figure out plausible ways to not show up long enough for them to fall in university love with each other. Ways that Jimin won't suspect he's doing on purpose, because once Jimin stops being shy with someone he's a vicious little thing. Taehyung doesn't want to get pinched in the arm fat ever again.So he's currently on his hands and knees in a patch of grass, looking for every paper clip that he dropped on the ground so that an animal doesn't eat them.Found half of them, he texts Jimin. You're doing great.Jimin replies with ten crying emojis, which is an escalation from his prior count of five and a natural pairing to his increasingly panicked messages that he doesn't know how to have coffee with a male model and Taehyung is killing him by making him do this alone and he's going to cry. Jimin doesn't seem particularly moved by the thought of birds with metal in their stomachs, no matter how graphically Taehyung tries to describe the phenomenon.Taehyung spends another ten minutes running his hands through the grass, wrinkling his nose at its weird wetness, until he gets a text from Jimin that says that Seb is about to leave which makes him forget all about the stupid birds. He jumps to his feet and grabs his bag, wiping at his knees as he sprints around the corner to the waiting coffee shop. Jimin's easy to find with his excellent hair, and contrary to his text Seb is leaning back in his chair like he's planning to live in it for the rest of his life.Jimin is so sneaky.But they aren't talking, which is no good, and Jimin's already seen him so Taehyung makes his way over with a big smile on his face. "Hello! Sorry I'm late! I just murdered nine birds."Seb blinks, then shrugs and kicks out a chair for Taehyung. "They probably deserved it."Jimin laughs too hard, and Taehyung ruffles his hair. "So what are we talking about? Besides my avian crimes.""Nothing much," says Seb. "But hey, I wanted to invite you to a party.""The frat's finally having a party?" asks Taehyung. "I love parties!""Not yet," says Seb. "No, this one is a more select crowd. My dad's traveling in Europe, and he left his yacht here. I'm taking it out with some friends, thought you'd want to come along."He raises his eyebrows, looking between them both with gentle curiosity, but Taehyung doesn't need any kind of sales pitch. "Yachts are so cool. Right Jimin?""Definitely," says Jimin. "I mean, I've never been on one, but they look cool in the movies.""Awesome," says Seb. "It's a couple weekends from now, a whole day trip. Maybe a night. I'll text you the details. And if the time doesn't work for you, let me know. You're my most important guests."He winks, which reminds Taehyung of Hoseok, and he wonders why the hottest guys are always winking. Does the hotness cause the winking, or does the winking make them hot? He makes a mental note to ask Seokjin about that later, if he can figure out how to ask without Seokjin telling him every single time he'd winked at Todd and the sex that resulted from it.But that's a thought for another time, as Seb is currently saying something that he's not at all listening to. Luckily Jimin is hanging off his every word, so he'll be able to fill him in if it was important details about the yacht party. He tries to focus in on the conversation, not that it's easy given that he really does feel guilty about the birds, but he acquits himself well enough. And when Seb stands to leave, citing an upcoming lacrosse practice, his smile lingers on Jimin in goodbye just long enough that Taehyung's feet do a little victory jig under the table.As soon as Seb's gone, Taehyung grabs Jimin's shoulders in both hands and screams lightly in his face. Jimin giggles back, hugging himself happily, and says, "He's so cute! And he smiled at me so much! Oh my god, Tae, he invited me to a party. I've never been to a cute guy party before. And this one's on a boat!"His eyes totally vanish as he laughs again, and Taehyung hugs him hard. "You're so on the boyfriend road you should buy property. But we'll save the confessions for the party. Sunset on the water is so pretty, and it makes kissing way better."Jimin gasps. "Do you think he'll kiss me?"Taehyung nods. "He practically Frenched you right here at the table. He'll never be able to resist you under starlight. Especially once we pick out the absolutely sexiest outfit in the world for you to wear. Your ass is gonna look so good.""Stop!""Never," says Taehyung, standing up. "But I'm gonna need sustenance if we're talking seduction. Be right back!"He gets an apple cinnamon scone which means he needs to go to the gym again soon, but it's calling to him too strongly to resist. The barista is a girl from his sociology class, and they talk for awhile about their next experimental project until she gives him her employee discount in exchange for his help with her design work. He waves goodbye to her, hugely, and makes his way back outside to the umbrellaed tables and Jimin.He stops short at the unwelcome sight of Namjoon leaning over the table, wearing a tweed jacket with patches in it like he's trying to be a sixty year old in a twenty year old's body. Jimin's talking to him animatedly, waving his little hands in the air as he relates some story, and Namjoon isn't saying anything at all, just staring at him with his mouth slightly open.Taehyung gets it, because Jimin really is sparkly, but this is not in the plan for today. Yachts are in the plan.Luckily Namjoon has to run to class, which means Taehyung doesn't have to chase him away personally, and it only takes a few minutes to get Jimin's mind off of boring PhD students and back on hot frat boys where it belongs.It's Thursday night, and Taehyung is so bored that he doesn't think he exists anymore. All of his people are gone, which means he needs to entertain himself, which he's only good at when he's with other people.He's watched an anime, and a sports game, and a rom com, and none of them were any good. He tried having a solo dance party and gave up out of sadness. He even cracked a textbook in desperation, but he's already doing fine on all of his tests and studying just to study is the sort of habit he never wants to develop. He scrolls through his texts a few times, looks at Twitter so often that he's memorized the trending hashtags, then heaves a sigh in his silent, single room.This leaves him with only one choice, the old reliable, but he has to do the approach exactly right.So he goes out to the nearest corner store and picks up some Cool Ranch Doritos and Mountain Dew and fruit cups, then makes his way to Yoongi's room. He'd recently found his key underneath the lining of an old moccasin where he'd put it for safekeeping, so he lets himself in wearing his most endearing face."Yoongi, I brought you chips," he says, then stops in the doorway.Yoongi's sitting at his desk, which he'd expected, but he hadn't expected to see Jeongguk sitting cross-legged on Yoongi's floor, taking careful notes from a huge textbook. They barely seem aware of each other's existence, though they both look up at Taehyung's entrance, but Yoongi doesn't like people in his space when he's studying. Only Taehyung and Seokjin were ever allowed to be there, and even that was more about persistence than acceptance. But Yoongi seems perfectly relaxed with his guest."Hey Jeongguk," says Taehyung. Music is playing the background, a low hum of bass, and Taehyung feels it in his ribs. "What are you doing here?""Studying."That's about all he's going to get, he knows, but Yoongi adds, "I know that might be a foreign concept to you.""I get okay grades," says Taehyung softly, but this is a fight he'll never win with Yoongi. "Anyway, sorry to interrupt. I just brought you some snacks."He drops his sack on the breakfast bar carefully, smoothing his hand over it, then turns to go. He tries not to sulk, because he doesn't want to be a baby about Yoongi being busy, but when even his misanthropic, always-available option has more of a social life than he does he knows that something has gone terribly wrong. Plus the weird alien note of Jeongguk in this room is making his skin itchy."Tae," says Yoongi, his voice kind, and Taehyung stops and turns around hopefully. Yoongi's still sitting at his desk, and he makes a come-here gesture that Taehyung interprets as meaning the food, which he takes over in both hands like an offering. "Thanks for the snacks, that was nice of you. Jeongguk, do you like Doritos?"Jeongguk nods, and Yoongi tosses him a bag along with one of the sodas. Taehyung receives a fruit cup and a smile, and he happily goes to the kitchen to get a spoon."You'd better not take my spoon out of this room," says Yoongi, and Taehyung smiles even bigger as he settles into the corner of the couch with his phone and his fruit. Suddenly Twitter seems interesting again, and he thinks of a lot of clever things to post including some fruit puns that he hopes Seokjin sees and likes.A half an hour later, Jeongguk seems to hear some kind of internal alarm bell and closes his book with a snap. "Thank you," he says to Yoongi. He adds to Taehyung, with a little tug at the corner of his mouth, "Thank you for the food.""You're welcome!" says Taehyung, waving at him with his spoon.He leaves quietly, which is no surprise, and as soon as the door closes behind him Yoongi closes his book too. He comes over to the couch and settles himself under Taehyung's legs, rubbing a calf gently with his thumb. "So how are you? I haven't see you in awhile.""You've been busy," says Taehyung, but he makes sure it doesn't sound judgmental. "I'm okay. Tired, though. It's hard work being me all the time."Yoongi chuckles. "I can imagine. Where's Jimin tonight? I thought he was your new shadow.""Dance practice," says Taehyung. "And Seokjin and Todd have their anniversary dinner, and my coffee shop friend is out of town, and my psych buddies are at the library, and the frats are all doing secret Hell Week stuff. There's not a party to go to anywhere!"Yoongi pats his leg a couple of times, and Taehyung settles into the couch more fully, yawning. "I didn't know you were hanging out with Jeongguk.""Not a lot, but he wanted a place to study sometimes that's a little quieter than the main hall. He's a good kid, and he's unobtrusive, so it works out for him to come here.""I can be unobtrusive.""You definitely can't," says Yoongi, smiling. "But that's okay. If I have to be annoyed by someone, I guess it should be you. It always has been."Taehyung crosses his eyes at him, and Yoongi makes a dumb face in return, and Taehyung feels unaccountably warm as he laughs. Even if Jeongguk is unobtrusively hanging out in Yoongi's room all the time, he bets Yoongi's never made a silly face at him even once."You should study some more," says Taehyung. "I know you have a lot to do.""Yeah," says Yoongi, exhaustion creeping into his voice. "Everyone seems to think graduate school comes with a mystic portal to a world with more hours in the day or something. But it's okay. I can take a break with you."Taehyung looks at the dark circles under his eyes, the scruff on his jawline that means he hasn't seen a razor today, the sunlight that's nowhere to be seen on his skin. He knows Yoongi would take a break for him, because Yoongi has always broken his back for Taehyung, but Taehyung doesn't need him to do that anymore. He's an adult, after all. And part of being an adult is not being taken care of all of the time, he guesses. Not when someone else needs it more."Do you have flash cards? I can go through them with you," says Taehyung. "I won't know how to pronounce any of your engineering words, but I can sound them out.""You don't have to do that.""I know," says Taehyung.He kicks his legs lightly on Yoongi's lap, like he did when they were little kids watching their Saturday cartoons and Yoongi was trying to convince him that they didn't have any Lucky Charms left in the house even though they did. It's a kick that means Yoongi had better stop messing around and give in already because Taehyung has decided exactly what he wants."Alright," says Yoongi, leaning back to pick up a stack of index cards from his desk. "Tell me when you get bored.""I'm already bored," says Taehyung. "But I really need you to get this advanced degree to be rich enough to support me for the entire rest of my life."Yoongi snorts, slapping Taehyung on the thigh hard enough to sting. But when Taehyung starts testing him he leans back, closes his eyes, and gets them all exactly right.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I should not pull fire alarms," says Taehyung to himself. He stares very hard at the red and white piece of plastic in front of him, which wants him to touch it so very badly, but he's being good. He's resisting evil, in his best superhero fashion, and he wishes there were someone around to appreciate how virtuous he's being.A burst of laughter down the hall distracts him, and his fingers reach out before he smacks his own hand away. He makes a sound deep in his throat, then turns around to find the laughter, which was infectious.It's a bit of surprise when the happy sounds are coming from Yugyeom's room, which isn't known as a comedy club, but when Taehyung peeks his head around the door frame he sees Hoseok and it all slides into place. They'd only texted a few times since they'd met at Seokjin's, but it had been enough to reinforce his previous conclusion that Hoseok was both hot and hilarious.And Taehyung adds happy to the list when Hoseok looks up and sees him, which is very flattering. Though Taehyung knows it's probably more the happiness of rescue than anything, since Jeongguk is curled up in the corner of his bed in his usual silence while Yugyeom's voice whirls around the room."Taetae! What are you doing here?" asks Hosoek. He's sitting in one of their desk chairs, backwards, his arms criss-crossed over the back. His very muscular arms, shown off to perfection by his loudly colored basketball jersey that Taehyung wants to steal more than anything in the world."Being a blessing," says Taehyung, grinning, and Hoseok laughs.Yugyeom looks between them with wide eyes. "You know Taehyung?" he asks. "Isn't he the coolest?""Definitely," says Hoseok, deploying that wink again, and Taehyung finds himself pulled into the room by an invisible force. Yugyeom pats the bed next to him in invitation, but it's overshadowed by Hoseok spinning around in his seat and patting his lap.Taehyung gives him a look as he takes the bed. "I'm not sitting in your lap. Buy me dinner first."Hoseok laughs again. "There's pizza on the way, so we'll see how the night progresses, yeah?"There's a sort of grunt from the corner as Jeongguk checks his phone, then says, "Ten minutes."They all wait, but there's nothing else, so Taehyung says, "I couldn't steal your food," in a tone of voice that indicates they should absolutely let him steal their food. And they oblige, Yugyeom insisting they'd ordered extra just so Taehyung could have some and Hoseok offering up half of every one of his pieces. Taehyung accepts graciously and settles in to chat.The conversation isn't anything spectacular, mostly dominated by Yugyeom trying to split his attention between his three idols simultaneously, which leaves him dashing from topic to topic with the energy of a Yorkie on crystal meth. Hoseok is surprisingly kind to him, though he can't resist a few smirks at Taehyung whenever Yugyeom gets excited enough to lose track of his words. For his part Jeongguk may as well be a ghost, as he pulls out his laptop and only replies to Yugyeom's direct questions, and even then just barely.Taehyung sees Hoseok cutting Jeongguk incredulous looks, and after a particularly unbelieving one, Taehyung mouths, He's so shy! complete with exclamation point. Hoseok rolls his eyes in nodding agreement, then focuses back on Yugyeom's ongoing monologue.Jeongguk finally makes an unprompted sound when his stomach lets out a huge growl, and he's just swinging off the bed with a caveman-like grunt of, "Food," when the door opens to a reveal a stack of pizzas and a Yoongi, in that order."Hello! I didn't know you got a new job!" says Taehyung. "Where's your cute little delivery uniform?""Up your ass," says Yoongi without hesitation. "Hey Jeongguk, these were delivered for you. Thought I'd bring them up."Jeongguk smiles gratefully, unfolding from his quiet corner and grabbing the boxes. "Thank you hyung," he says. He pauses, frowning. "People tip for delivery here, right?""I covered it," says Yoongi, waving away Jeongguk's half-reach for his wallet. "Hyungs pay, right? But you'd already pre-paid the pizza, they said, so I'll have to settle for the tip."Taehyung looks between them, wrinkling his nose. "This better not become some new thing with you. I refuse to ever call you hyung."Yoongi doesn't acknowledge him, laying the boxes on Jeongguk's bed and opening them to get the toppings sorted out. Taehyung's a little startled to see that he's got four pizzas, when there were only three of them in the room before the uninvited guests showed up. But he doesn't get a chance to ask about the massive food quantity before Jeongguk pulls an entire box into his lap and starts eating, motioning that Yoongi should join them. Yugyeom's already tossed them all drinks, so Yoongi cracks his open and sits next to Jeongguk without fanfare.Hoseok grabs another pizza and dashes over to squeeze in next to Taehyung, sharing the box over their knees. "Half of my pieces are yours, remember? But to make sure it's even we'll have to share them like Lady and the Tramp shared their spaghetti.""I love Lady and the Tramp!" says Taehyung. "I tried to get Yoongi to do that scene with me so much when we were little but he was worried about germs.""You were fourteen," says Yoongi."Right. God, I can't believe I was ever that young," says Taehyung, looking down at his hands curiously. "I'm ancient now."Hoseok tweaks his nose and says, "You're not over the hill yet. You like pepperoni?"He gives Yugyeom a piece, which Yugyeom seems so overwhelmed to receive from him that he almost can't eat it, but Taehyung simply opens his mouth and waits to be fed. Hoseok laughs and says, "See, you're still cute."And even though Taehyung was joking, just to see what this Hoseok guy was really about, Hoseok stuffs the pointy end of a piece in his mouth without hesitation, letting Taehyung rip it off in his teeth like a lioness through a wildebeest. Hoseok takes the other half and pops it in his own mouth like that's not weird at all, and Taehyung adds hedonistic to his lengthening list of applicable, excellent adjectives."So who are you?" asks Yoongi from his place on Jeongguk's bed. Jeongguk's halfway through his pizza already, chewing with purpose, but Yoongi's still holding an untouched slice in one hand like a suburban housewife with a wine glass, his other arm across his stomach.Taehyung swallows quickly and coughs, grabbing for his water. "Introductions! I do those. Yoongi, this is Hoseok. He went to high school with Jin's Todd, he hates wicker, and he has no shame. Hoseok, this is Yoongi. He's our RA, my rock of Gibraltar, and he's permanently grumpy because he loves us so much.""Nice to meet you," says Hoseok. He taps Taehyung's chin again and feeds him more pizza. "Seokjin talks about you all the time. I thought you'd be a lot taller. He talks about you like you're tall.""Yoongi's tall on the inside," says Taehyung. "Like an optical illusion."Yoongi laughs at that, and Taehyung smiles and resolves to do better at inclusion. He turns at Jeongguk, who's now finished his first pizza and is starting in on another, and says, "Holy cats, Jeongguk, you're scaring me.""I need food," says Jeongguk. He doesn't even look at Taehyung, too focused on alternating between inhaling and swallowing.Yugyeom fills in the rest of the space, as usual. "He has his first meet this weekend. He's been in the pool constantly. Barely sleeping. But he's going to win for sure."Jeongguk shrugs."Is the meet here?" asks Hoseok, tearing off another piece of pizza for Taehyung. When Yugyeom says yes around his own mouthful, Hoseok says, "We should go. Be a cheering section. There's nothing like live competition.""Attend a sporting event full of athletes?" says Taehyung. "That's basically the same as going to the gym, right? If so, I'm totally there.""Perfect," says Hoseok. "Yugyeom, Yoongi, you in?""I was already planning on it," says Yugyeom.Yoongi looks at Jeongguk. "What do you think?"Jeongguk frowns at his lap. "You don't need to come.""Sure we do," says Hoseok. "Who doesn't want a personal cheering squad?"Taehyung claps. "We have to learn to make his name with our bodies! Not the English letters, but the Korean ones. Can we do that, do you think? I'm willing to practice for at least ten minutes."Hoseok puts his arm around Taehyung's waist and laughs, saying, "I think it depends on how flexible you are.""Taehyung once cramped up trying to tight roll his jeans," says Yoongi. "He's as flexible as rebar."When Taehyung glares at him, Yoongi stares back totally unapologetically. His eyes flick to Hoseok's hand on his hip, a raised eyebrow clearly asking for Hoseok's number, and Taehyung just shrugs back like he's still assessing him. It's petty, especially when Yoongi's other eyebrow raises in surprise, but their number one friendship tenet, besides Taehyung always gets shotgun, is that Yoongi doesn't mess with Taehyung's flirting and Taehyung doesn't squish Yoongi's cheeks in public. They've always held these sacred, and if Yoongi's going to ignore them then everything is on the table.You mess with the Taebull you get the Taehorns, he tries to communicate telepathically, and Yoongi gives him more eyebrows when Hoseok's chin makes its way to Taehyung's shoulder."I need to work," says Jeongguk, pushing the remaining half of his pizza away and pulling his computer to him again.Yugyeom sighs reluctantly. "So do I. There's always so much studying to do. But I'll see you guys Saturday? The meet starts at 9 but I was going to go a couple of hours early to get good seats. Do you want to come with me?"Hoseok chuckles, his breath moving lightly across Taehyung's neck. "Maybe we can meet you there? Just before nine. Save us seats though!""Yeah I will! Thanks for stopping by Hoseok, it was so good to see you! And now you have my phone number so let's go out to dinner sometime. With Taehyung, too, and Yoongi and Seokjin and Jimin. We'll go to Koreatown, all of us together at a big table."Yugyeom looks positively giddy at the idea, and they all promise to go sometime as they leave the room. Jeongguk offers a soft and smiling, "Thanks again, hyung," to Yoongi, and Taehyung shuts the door behind them firmly."I'd better study too," says Yoongi with heavy meaning, which Taehyung lets sail right past him."Come to my room with me," he says to Hoseok, tugging him down the hall. "I have a single so we can be as weird as we want.""Sure," says Hoseok. "Lead the way.""Leave the door open," says Yoongi by way of goodbye, and he walks away with half of his first piece of pizza still in his hand."Wow, he's intense," says Hoseok as they watch him go. "Ten pounds of irritation in a five pound bag."Taehyung slaps him the stomach. "Hey. Don't say stuff like that. Yoongi's great.""So are tigers, but you don't catch me trying to share their cage," says Hoseok easily. "Unless they're Tae-gers."Taehyung groans and tugs at Hoseok again, taking only a single glance at the fire alarm as they pass it. "You've been with Jin too long. That's not even funny. No one thinks it's funny.""That Jeongguk guy is even worse, though," says Hoseok. "Is he always that quiet, or does he just hate me?""I've only known him for a couple of weeks," says Taehyung. "By my count I'm up to thirty words from him, total. He either hates both of us or swimming destroys your vocal cords."Hoseok smiles, nodding. "Well, he's definitely a vibe killer. Unlike you."Taehyung agrees happily, then pushes open the door to his tastefully appointed room with a flourish. It's mostly pillows. Taehyung likes to be well-padded."Very harem-esque," says Hoseok approvingly as he steps in the room. He touches the fuzziest pillow in the whole place and says, "I claim this one. Want to watch a movie?""No I want to smell one," says Taehyung, which leads Hoseok to hit him with said fuzzy pillow and ask who's the not-funny one now. But Taehyung declares it's still Hoseok who's not funny, though it turns out he's very good at pillow fights, and by the time Hoseok is sprawled on the floor and Taehyung is half-hanging off his bed while he chooses a movie they're both too exhausted from laughing to speak."Dolphin kicks," says Taehyung to himself. "Bilateral breathing. Relay."Jimin elbows him in the side as they walk to the swimming place. The Aquatics Center, Taehyung reminds himself. It's a beautiful day, and he's got new sunglasses on, and he's definitely ready for some wet sports."Why do you keep muttering random things?" says Jimin, tugging at his clothes. He's wearing an outfit lovingly picked out by Taehyung for maximum cuteness, including a huge striped long-sleeve shirt that falls off his shoulder in the best way. Which Jimin had complained about when they were getting dressed, but Taehyung's customer service representatives were busy assisting other callers and couldn't hear him."I Googled swimming stuff this morning," says Taehyung. "I have to know the words or they'll reject me.""Okay, but a relay is just a kind of race," says Jimin. "It's not only for swimming.""Don't confuse me," says Taehyung. "Fly. Breaststroke. Backstroke. Freestyle."When they get to the pool there are a surprising number of people there, so Taehyung figures this sports thing must be real. He's very glad he did his research. And it's a beautiful day to sit outside and watch people flailing in water.He spots Yoongi near one of the entrances, though he almost doesn't believe it's him, and as they get closer Taehyung's grin gets bigger and bigger. Yoongi doesn't even notice their approach, and he jumps a few inches in the air when Taehyung says, "What are you wearing?" in a voice loud enough to be heard on the moon.Yoongi looks down at himself, expressionless. "Clothing?"And that might be enough to fool some people, but Taehyung is a black belt in Yoongi and he can see the little pink spots in his cheeks. "You're wearing a snapback. Backwards. And your only good shirt. I bought you that shirt. Oh my god, you want to be accepted by the jocks."Truth be told he actually looks really good, a sort of throwback to his youthful days when Yoongi Min had been the coolest, shortest basketball player at school. His baseball t-shirt gives his arms definition, and his jeans are the right kind of ratty to pull of the effortlessly casual weekend boyfriend aesthetic. And the hat is a revelation. Taehyung's never seen Yoongi in a hat, but he's about to start leaving them all around his room for the good of humanity."I shun acceptance," says Yoongi. "Death to conformity. How are you, Jimin?"Jimin opens his mouth, but Taehyung isn't going to fall for that trick either. "He's fine. So your latent athlete is coming out to play again after all this time. I, for one, could not be more thrilled. Can I call you bro? Can I? Can I?'"Sure," says Yoongi. "If you want your mom to know about that time you kept a mouse in your closet for three weeks and it escaped into your house and you never found it.""You wouldn't.""Just try me. It's probably had entire families inside your walls."Even a black belt isn't always enough to decipher Yoongi's impressive poker face, and Taehyung studies him carefully until a happy, "Here you all are," rings out behind them. Seokjin throws his arms around Taehyung, nodding to Jimin while Todd and Hoseok flank him, and Taehyung can feel the moment that Seokjin absorbs Yoongi's clothing. "Did you get reverse mugged inside of a Hollister on the way here?"Hoseok holds out his fist for a bump. "Bro! I love your flip flops."The pink on Yoongi's cheeks returns full force as Taehyung cracks up, practically sinking to his knees as he howls with laughter against Jimin. But true to form Yoongi just nods as if he hears that every day, and returns the fist bump easily. "I've got everyone's tickets.""I'm dying," Taehyung wheezes from the sidewalk. "I can't breathe. Oh my god. Oh my god.""We're going to miss the first heat," says Yoongi.Everyone else starts walking except Taehyung, who can't remember how legs work, and Jimin, who's fluttering over him like he's trying to decide if Taehyung needs CPR."Dude bro! Wait!" yells Taehyung with his last remaining oxygen, and Yoongi turns around and starts walking backwards, waving the tickets. They don't go any slower, and Jimin has to haul Taehyung up and drag him to the gate with his compact cutie strength. They make it just in time, and Taehyung throws his other arm around Yoongi as they make their way through the turnstile, bro-ing all the while.As soon as they're seated, Taehyung starts sneezing. "I'm allergic to sports," he whines until Seokjin taps him on the back of the head to get him to stop."It's probably the chlorine," says Yugyeom, who'd managed to secure them two benches in prime viewing position despite the crowds. Taehyung has to give him credit for using what he has, namely his ability to annoy people at speed, to get exactly what he wants. And while their bench space isn't really wide enough to hold them all, Taehyung could kiss Yugyeom for that too.Taehyung's plan is going off without a hitch.Which includes his seating arrangements, carefully crafted by being bossy until everyone sat exactly where he wanted them to. Now Yugyeom, Yoongi, Seokjin and Todd are smashed together behind them, Yoongi's tiny body and Jin's willingness to meld with his boyfriend letting them fit, and Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin and Taehyung's special guest are holding down the front.Seb leans around from the other side of Jimin, squeezing the pink-haired boy in between them as he does. He'd tried to sit between Jimin and Taehyung, but Taehyung had correctly judged that the noise level would make this separated sitting much more profitable. Jimin looks like he's going to pass out, but he has the presence of mind to pinch Taehyung's thigh when he leans in as well to trap Jimin even closer against his future boyfriend."So you guys are big into swimming?" Seb asks, a small smile on his face."Yes!" says Taehyung. He points down at the pool, where there are a lot of people in track suits milling around. "That's a starter's block.""Oh really?""Yep. And they do four different strokes," says Taehyung proudly. "I know them all."Hoseok chuckles next to him, which is the other nice part of this seating arrangement. Hoseok doesn't seem to mind that Taehyung is very, very close to him, and Taehyung isn't exactly opposed to it either."We're very proud of you, sweetheart," says Seokjin from behind them. "Hand check, please.""Jin," Taehyung whines, but Hoseok holds both of his hands up obligingly, his handsome smile firmly in place. "Why are you so embarrassing?""I have a very specific set of skills," says Seokjin.Seb's hand grazes his bicep where it's suddenly around Jimin's shoulders, and Taehyung is too delighted by this turn of events to try to hit Seokjin in the kneecap."We actually don't know anything about swimming," says Yoongi. "But we know one of the guys on the team. Jeongguk Jeon.""Oh wow," says Seb, his voice rising out of flirt range and into something more normal. "I've heard about him. Some kind of phenom, yeah? So weird that he came here, but it's gonna be good for the team.""Weird?" says Taehyung, scenting gossip on the wind. "What do you mean?""He was supposed to go to Texas," says Seb. "Or that's what I heard. But all of a sudden he changed his decision to here at the last minute. Smells like scandal, to me. But it probably wasn't doping or anything, if they still let him on the team."Hoseok shakes his head. "No way he'd be involved in drugs. Way too risky."Taehyung tries to picture silent Jeongguk involved in any scandal, and he can't get there, unless putting an all-you-can-eat buffet out of business counted. "Maybe he's a spy.""Or following a girlfriend," says Jimin knowingly, even though his own eyes still look a little terrified. "I bet he's the romantic type.""It was just a better scholarship," says Yugyeom, his voice a little annoyed."Sorry," says Jimin immediately. He seems to forget himself in his agitation and whispers to Seb, "Yugyeom is his cousin.""Taehyung," says Yoongi quietly.He snaps to attention from where he'd been measuring the distance between Seb and Jimin's thighs. "Yeah, sorry," he says. "Really. Jeongguk's a good kid.""Where do you get off calling people kids?" says Seokjin. "You're a baby.""I act like a baby," says Taehyung. "There's a difference. But I am sorry. Are we okay, Yugyeom?"He twists around to look up at him, blinking contritely, and Yugyeom smiles in his open, happy way. "Of course.""They're coming out," says Hoseok. His eyes are bright with the thrill of competition, and he claps cutely in front of his chest as the swimmers line up poolside for the anthem. He'd admitted to Taehyung in a low voice that he got way too into any kind of sports event, including Little League baseball, and Taehyung was expressly not allowed to hold anything he does in the name of cheering against him.Taehyung already has his phone ready to record any kind of embarrassing sports-related cheering moment. Not that he knows what those might be.When they're finished with the ceremony, swimming begins to happen without a commercial break, and Taehyung finds himself watching churning water in a hopeless ball of confusion. Everyone around him is yelling, waving little flags in the air, and he doesn't know how they know who to cheer for."What's happening?" he asks Hoseok, leaning closer.Hoseok doesn't look at him at all, his eyes trained on the pool. "Racing.""Who's winning?""The person in front."Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but who is that?"Yoongi leans down in between them and says, "There's a scoreboard over there. The names match up with the lane numbers. So right now Anita Torres in lane 6 is destroying everyone.""Thanks!" says Taehyung, reaching back and patting Yoongi on the cheek. "You're like a sports announcer. A bro-nouncer?""The judges say no to that one," says Seokjin. "We have standards here.""Fine," says Taehyung. "Go Anita! You're doing your stroke the best!" He leans over to Hoseok again. "Which stroke is this one?""Freestyle."His voice isn't encouraging, so Taehyung huffs out a breath and tries to focus on the swimming, too. Knowing the names helps, because he can yell out more specifically, and even though Jimin and Seb keep trying to draw him into their conversation Taehyung needs to convey the impression he is much too busy to be involved in their love story.But swimming is boring, Taehyung realizes quickly, because they just keep going back and forth and back and forth and Taehyung can hardly see them, and he's still sneezing a lot. It gets marginally more interesting whenever Jeongguk shows up, just because all of his friends get so excited around him. It's really fun to scream with genuine enthusiasm, and he and Seokjin develop a sort of hand and shout routine that makes them the life of the party, or at least the party happening in this bench area.Jeongguk doesn't win all of his races, but Yugyeom assures them that's on purpose, because sometimes the races are just pre-races for the final event and Jeongguk has to pace himself. He's easy to spot on the pool deck, at least, which is a term Taehyung happily knows. His shock of black hair, his admittedly great body, and his constant hyping of his teammates make him electric no matter where he is. It's such a marked difference from his dorm demeanor that Taehyung wonders if chlorine is actually some kind of performance-enhancing drug.If so it's not one that works on Taehyung, until Hoseok leans forward with an intensity level beyond his previous competitive fervor. "Oh, here's Jeongguk's real event. The one that will take him to the world stage. The 200 breaststroke," he adds to Taehyung helpfully as the swimmers get on their blocks."Okay," says Taehyung quietly, not sure why he's almost whispering.Yugyeom puts a vibrating hand on Taehyung's shoulder, and Jimin grips his thigh, and he can feel Yoongi's leg tapping quickly behind him. Taehyung tenses, like he's the one on the block, and suddenly sports make sense to him, just a little bit."Come on," murmurs Hoseok as they all take their positions.The gun goes off and suddenly everyone is screaming and swimming and Taehyung is on his feet, his eyes trained on Jeongguk's lane. He wishes he had one of those little flags to wave but he doesn't so he takes off his shoe and waves that instead, yelling madly for Jeon Jeongguk to go faster, dammit, to make those breasts count."He's winning!" yells Jimin next to him, and he's standing too, up on the bench to see over people, jumping up and down in the corner of Taehyung's vision. "Oh my god he's winning!"They make another turn and Yugyeom yells, "Last length!" which Taehyung is happy to know because now he can really scream. Jeongguk is winning by a lot, which seems really good, and when he slaps the wall their whole area has a total meltdown. It's like the Olympics happened, an Olympics where Taehyung personally won a medal, and he hugs Jimin so hard around the waist that he practically squeezes him into atoms. And Seb is there, too, squishing Jimin in between them, and Jimin laughs like a loon.Hoseok is screaming loudest of all, totally lost in secondhand victory, and he shrieks Jeongguk's name loud enough that Jeongguk could probably hear him over a nuclear explosion. Jeongguk's looks up from where he's slapping people's hands in the pool, a huge grin on his face, and he waves at them like he really loves them all. Like they're all actual friends.Taehyung waves back, excited to be included in the moment, and Jeongguk hops out of the water in his weird full-body swimsuit to accept more congratulations from his teammates. A few of them hug him, hard, and he throws his head back in laughter that Taehyung can hear all the way up here."Sports are the best!" says Taehyung, turning to Yoongi with a huge smile of his own. "Let's do more sports!"Yoongi's about to answer when Taehyung's spun around by an insistent hand on his shoulder, and Hoseok gives him a celebratory hug so big that it lifts him entirely off the ground.And Taehyung had been kidding, a little bit, but at this moment he really does love sports.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I love the Trojans!" Taehyung yells as they walk back, accepting high fives from every person they pass.Yoongi and Jimin trail behind him much more quietly, no matter how much Taehyung holds their hands up for other people to slap. Before they get back to the dorm, Taehyung tries to convince them that they need to get gold and cardinal face paint so that they can make their cheeks proud of the school too, but neither of them are indulging his new enthusiasm. Jimin is lost in happy memories of a handsy Seb, so Taehyung forgives him, but Yoongi is just being stubborn."Come on," says Taehyung. "This is the only outfit you own that it would actually make sense with! You spent a whole morning impressing the jock squad. Don't chicken out now!""I went to see Jeongguk," says Yoongi, sweeping off his snapback as they go inside. "And these are just my clothes. Any mail for me?"He says the last to the front desk attendant who scoots back to Yoongi's pigeon-hole and pulls out a stack of envelopes. Yoongi sighs and thanks him, then wanders to his room with a distracted wave."Yoongi," whines Taehyung, but it doesn't penetrate. He turns back to Jimin, annoyed, and says, "Well, we can still have school spirit. Sports!"Jimin hums agreeably, clearly not listening as he gets his own smaller pile of mail. It's mostly fliers, but he squints when he finds an actual letter buried in the stack. Taehyung doesn't even have time to ask who on earth is sending him a real letter before Jimin squeaks and grabs his arm hard enough to bruise, yanking him towards the stairs."We have to go to your room," he says, slamming the door open without regard for who might be on the other side. "Tae, come on, we have to go!""Did you win the lottery?" says Taehyung. "Can we buy an airplane? I really want to buy an airplane!"Jimin doesn't answer him, and Taehyung's a little out of breath by the time they get to his room. He unlocks the door while Jimin bounces next to him, then yelps when Jimin pushes him into his room like an eager guy on prom night. "Geez, it must be a big payout."A pillow hits him in the face, but in a distracted way. "It's a letter from Namjoon," says Jimin, his voice at frequencies only dogs and best friends can hear. "I think it's a love letter! There's a star sticker on it. Oh my god, Tae, I've never gotten a love letter before. I'm too nervous to read it.""I'll read it for you," says Taehyung, curious despite himself. Namjoon isn't boyfriend material, and knowing him it's probably a boring letter, but like pizza and movies with motorcycles in them, even when love letters are bad they're good.They both sit on the couch, and Taehyung opens the envelope carefully to honor the solemnity of the moment, then pulls out a sheet of pretty lavender paper. The handwriting is neat, and artistic, and Taehyung is impressed with the presentation at the very least. He unfolds it and reads slowly, growing more puzzled with every line.
Dear Jimin,
Planets orbit stars in a dance beyond lifetimes. We study them with tools both fragile and inadequate, barely able to comprehend their patterns, but their steady constancy is beautiful to me. When I close my eyes at night I see them behind my lids, existing in silent peace, and I think there can be no shape more lovely than theirs.
Rogue planets have no star, drifting through the universe with unknown origins. We find them not through patterns and expectations but through chance, through happenstance, through observation of the things that aren't planets but the spaces between them. They appear before we're ready, and they fascinate us with their newness, their unexpectedness, their ability to be something we never anticipated.
I couldn't anticipate how lovely you would be.
Words are hard for me, to look into your heart harder still, but I'd like to try, if you'll let me. I don't know that I'm ready for you - I don't know that I'll ever be ready - but I hope this letter is enough to grant me a chance.
I make no promises but to see your face behind my eyes as I fall asleep each night.
Hopefully yours,
Namjoon
"Is it a good letter?" asks Jimin, his voice almost a whisper.When Taehyung looks up, Jimin's eyes are screwed tightly shut like he's expecting a blow, and Taehyung reaches out to grab his hand. "It's a good letter," he says. He looks back down at it. "He must have gotten one of the literature grad students to write it for him, which shows a very respectable care and thoughtfulness."Jimin's eyes open wide, and he smiles as he snatches up the lavender paper. Taehyung watches him read it, and Jimin's cheeks turn red and happy as he smiles, which makes Taehyung's heart ache. It's good for him to get this experience, even if Jimin hasn't thought all the way through to the end of the story.When he's taken enough time to read it a hundred times by Taehyung's count, he finally lays it aside and looks up, eyes sparkling. But the sparkle fades like receding headlights as the moments pass and panic sets in. "Tae, you have to help me. You know these things. You know everything. What do I do?"Jimin pulls out his phone in distress, then sets it on the couch, then picks it up again before he jumps to his feet."Breathe," says Taehyung. "That's the most important thing, breathing. And then you have to answer him, obviously. Anyone who writes you a letter who's not a weirdo stalker deserves an answer.""But isn't he weird for talking to me in the first place? I'm not anything special.""Of course you are. He wrote a letter to the cutest guy in the world," says Taehyung. "That's very normal.""But what do I say?" wails Jimin. "He didn't actually ask me anything!"Taehyung sighs. "I know. That's such a problem with nerdy guys, they forget the point of things all the time. But it's not his fault. Just make sure you're nice to him about it."Jimin nods vigorously. "Okay. Okay. So I should just ask him to coffee then. Like you asked Seb for me? Is that nice enough?"The room falls silent as Taehyung's train of thought derails. Jimin's face gets more anxious during the silence, and he starts gnawing on his lower lip like a crazed beaver until Taehyung says faintly, "You want to go out with him?""Oh," says Jimin, face falling. "You think I shouldn't?"Taehyung opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. He breathes in carefully, then says, "I think I shouldn't say anything. I don't want to influence your decision.""No! You have to help me! I never even met a boy, not really, until this year. I don't know anything, please Tae!"His big eyes are the biggest they've ever been, begging Taehyung even harder than his voice, and Taehyung sighs deeply. "Fine. Let's assess the situation. You have Seb and you have Namjoon. Namjoon had someone write you a very nice letter about how you're cool, which is a thing that everyone should do really, but he didn't ask you out even to coffee and he's a grad student which means he might not have time to drink coffee beyond gulps. Has he ever hugged you?"Jimin shakes his head."So no hugging or any other kind of physical affection, just a commissioned letter. Seb hugged you all day today. And he asked you out to a party on his yacht so he obviously really likes you. Plus you've already been on a date together. We won't talk about who's more good-looking, because dating decisions shouldn't be made on looks anyway, but actions are very meaningful. And you're really excited for the yacht party, right?""I can still go to the party," says Jimin hopefully. "People date more than one person at a time, right?"Taehyung frowns. "I'm not sure it's right to go on a man's boat while accepting love letters. That seems rude. And you should try to have one boyfriend before you have two boyfriends at the same time. No, I think your choice boils down to Seb and the yacht party or Namjoon and an unconfirmed coffee date at the library. That's the situation. But you have to make the choice, because it's your life."Jimin stares at the paper, hard, his face going slack in thought. Taehyung sits patiently, beaming his own thoughts across the room as hard as he can, trying to lead Jimin silently. It's Jimin's decision, but there's only one right answer, and Taehyung wants him to be happy so very badly."Will you go to the yacht party if I don't?" asks Jimin.And Taehyung sees his opening, the way to tell him without telling him, but he has to be careful. This is a creaking bridge, squeaky wood over the chasm of outright lying, and Taehyung wiggles as hard as he can to cross it safely. "I don't think it will be any fun without you, Minnie."Jimin bites his lip, then looks at Taehyung with soft eyes and Taehyung knows he's done it. "Then I think I should go to the party. And text Namjoon that his letter is really nice but it's not a good time.""Tell him you're already seeing someone," says Taehyung. "It's nicer, and you basically are.""That's true," says Jimin, folding up the letter and handing it to Taehyung with a small sigh. "Will you keep this for me? I'll want it, someday, but I don't to have it in my room right now.""Of course," says Taehyung gently, putting it in his desk drawer then flopping on his bed with his arms wide. "Come here. It's still really exciting to get a letter, congratulations! You should be so happy about it, really."Jimin crawls into his side and hugs him, his arms tight around Taehyung's waist. "Did I do the right thing?" he asks in a whisper. "I don't want to do the wrong thing.""Now that you've chosen, I'll tell you what I think," says Taehyung. He strokes a hand over Jimin's hair, which is still so pretty. "I think you and Seb are perfect for each other. You click. And Namjoon is nice but he's just not right for you, you know? That's not anyone's fault, but you can't try to force relationships just because one person really wants it.""That's true," says Jimin. "And he's way too smart for me anyway. Thanks Tae. Can we watch something funny now?""Sure, I've got a big mirror in here," asks Taehyung, grinning, and Jimin slaps him on the stomach but he giggles a little, which is all Taehyung needs to hear.It doesn't rain very often in southern California, but when it does Taehyung goes entirely crazy. And this time he's going crazy in Yoongi's room, because he needs a very important favor."What's dorm policy on bringing a horse inside the building?" he asks. A bag of popcorn explodes in the microwave behind him, and he counts the pops carefully to avoid burning.Yoongi's grading papers at his kitchenette counter, already eating Taehyung's first batch of not-quite-correct popcorn. He's wearing a hat again, because Taehyung put it on him, but the rest of his clothes are back to his black rock and roll hipster. Taehyung likes the dichotomy."You can't bring a horse inside the building," says Yoongi."What if it's a really small horse? A Shetland?""Will it be breathing?" asks Yoongi. He pauses his red pen in mid-circle. "Check that. You can't bring any horses, living or dead, inside the building."Taehyung gives him an incredulous look. "I would never bring a dead horse in here. What kind of person do you think I am?""Honestly I've never known.""Well, right now I'm a person who really needs a horse," says Taehyung. He counts a six without a pop and he mashes the stop button on the microwave like crazy. When he pulls the bag out and carefully opens it to avoid the steam, he sighs with happiness at the white, fluffy kernels. "I bet this is going to be a zero unpopped bag.""We live in hope," says Yoongi. "And it remains a no on barnyard animals.""But it's for Jimin's birthday," Taehyung says, leaning over the counter and opening his eyes wide. "Twentieth birthdays are horse birthdays, everyone knows this.""Oh, well if it's for Jimin's birthday," says Yoongi, affecting surprise, "then it's still no."Taehyung grunts and shakes a million popcorns into his mouth. "You have no sense of fun," he tries to say, but it doesn't come out hardly at all.There's a knock at the door, and Yoongi yells for them to come in with an unseemly amount of relief to Taehyung's ears. Jeongguk strides in like he owns the place and says, "Hi hyung. I have your laptop, thank you. It was helpful.""No problem," says Yoongi. "Anytime. Put it on my desk, okay? Did your video come out well?"Jeongguk smiles, and he looks incredibly young as he says, "Yes. Perfect. My teacher will be proud."He leaves with a silent wave to Taehyung, who's frowning. "You let another human soul touch your laptop? Carry it away and do things with it when you couldn't see them? Are you sick?""It's called a favor. And unlike you, Jeongguk won't eat Cheez-its while using it and get the keys all sticky.""That's only happened a couple of times," says Taehyung. "And one time it was Jin, and it wasn't exactly food-based. But I see how it is. Perfect Jeongguk can have huge computer favors but when I want a horse for just a few hours suddenly there's no more favors. This is a corrupt system of governance and I hate it.""Welcome to the autocracy," says Yoongi absently. "Wait, what did you say about Jin?"Taehyung dive rolls onto the floor and hides behind the counter. "Nothing."Yoongi mutters something that Taehyung can't hear, which is probably for the best. He raises his voice as he adds, "Just take Jimin on a fountain run. That's what everyone does on their first campus birthday.""He's not a freshman," says Taehyung. "Are you getting forgetful in your old age? Senility truly is coming for us all.""First of all, shut up, and second of all he might as well be. This is his first year on campus, you know."Taehyung pops his head up over the counter excitedly. "You're right! I forget sometimes that I wasn't born inside of his soul. Okay, we'll do a fountain run this year. Next year we can do the horse thing."Yoongi sighs, but before he gets too irritated a grin spreads across his face. "You know who you should invite to the run, though?""Jason Momoa."Yoongi's grin widens. "Oh, you don't know yet. Even better."He cackles evilly, and Taehyung drops his popcorn on the ground in excitement. "You have gossip? Min Yoongi, the anti-CIA agent who thinks that love is a waste of atomic energy, knows something of value? This is the biggest day of my entire life! Tell me please."Taehyung watches Yoongi's internal conflict play out, his love of holding something over Taehyung battling his desire to show that thing off, and the showing off portion wins as it always does. "I know someone who has a huge crush on your friend.""Pfft, that could be anybody," says Taehung, but he's smiling happily. "Who is he? Is he cute? Is he double-jointed?""Not everyone asks people that," says Yoongi. "You remember Kim Namjoon?"Taehyung freezes, then bends down to pick up his bag and hide his face. "Never heard of him. Who is he?""You met him when we went to the Cosmos marathon. He was the emcee.""I don't remember anything from that day," says Taehyung. "That was the most boring TV show that's ever happened. It was so boring that it physically rewired my brain to protect me from the trauma. I'm still convinced that I learned that I'm secret royalty at some point that afternoon but the memory is lost forever.""Whatever," says Yoongi. "He's a friend, another grad student. We study together sometimes. Get coffee. And once he learned that I know Jimin, he started paying for me every time, which I deserved for having to listen to so much sighing. It was pathetic, but love usually is. Anyway he's going to ask him out soon, and you'd better not take credit for this relationship. It's all me."He crosses his arms, very self-satisfied, and Taehyung smashes a popcorn in between his fingers. "Oh, Kim Namjoon. I thought you said Kim Nanotube. Yeah, he actually did ask Jimin out. Jimin said no."Yoongi's mouth drops open. "He did what?""He said no? I mean, Namjoon didn't even really ask him out. He just paid someone to write him a weird romantic note, but Jimin's already dating someone, so.""But Jimin isn't dating anyone," says Yoongi, holding his hand up when Taehyung protests. "And do you know how I know that? Because we haven't had the entire marching band streaming through the halls to announce it. There's been no cake. No skywriting. When Jin went on his first date with Todd you put an ad in the campus paper announcing their future wedding date. So what's the real story here?"Taehyung squirms guiltily under Yoongi's knowing gaze. "He just doesn't like him, okay? That's not a crime.""Try again," says Yoongi. He stands up, face free of all amusement. "Namjoon thought Jimin might someday be a little into him, which means Jimin must have been practically throwing himself at him. No, this whole situation stinks of Kim Taehyung, and I don't like it.""I smell like pear blossoms today," says Taehyung, sighing when Yoongi just glares at him. "It's really not that complicated. Jimin isn't officially dating someone yet, but he's close, and Namjoon's nice and all but Jimin likes the other guy better. It happens every day, and I'm sorry your friend got the short end of the stick but Jimin makes his own choices.""Of course he does," says Yoongi sarcastically. "Let me guess, this guy Jimin's so close to dating is one of your frat friends? That Seb guy who hangs around all the time, maybe?""Maybe."Yoongi snorts. "Seb isn't going to be interested in someone like Jimin. None of those guys are."Taehyung goes cold. "Don't you dare say anything bad about Jimin.""Bad? I'm giving him a compliment. He's way too good for those idiots," says Yoongi. "He actually has some brains in his head. Ambitions. Spends his time in the library instead of in bars, works hard, takes his classes seriously. You think they're into guys like that?""I think you sound like a pretentious dick right now," says Taehyung. "Why wouldn't they like a smart sweetheart like Jimin? And by the way, jackass, I've gone out with plenty of those guys, and they were perfectly happy with it. Are you saying I'm some kind of moron? That Jimin's too smart for them but I'm just dumb enough? Is that what you're saying?"Yoongi rubs a hand across the back of his head and makes a frustrated noise in his throat. "You don't exactly take your shit seriously, Tae. You're smart, but you don't use it for anything, and that's what matters to them. That you'll happily be stupid."Taehyung clenches his fists, then the entire rest of his body, breathing in through his nose. A million responses run through his head, not one of them good enough for this situation, where Yoongi is being the biggest asshole on the planet. What does someone say to his rock of Gibraltar when he calls him an idiot? When he wants to punch him right through his dumbass face?Not that the dumbass notices. "Jimin's plenty sweet, but he doesn't act stupid. He's not you. He's not even Seokjin, no matter how much you keep trying to turn him into him. Combine all that with the fact that he's never so much as kissed someone, and those idiots aren't going to give him the time of day.""For your information, they love him," says Taehyung, still tense, still trying not to punch. "They think he's adorable, and they all want to go out with him, and they put him on all their VIP lists and invite him to parties on their yachts every night. You can hate frat guys all you want but they know quality when they see it. They know Jimin's a catch, and they're fishing for him. Plus they're not idiots. They're my friends.""They can be both. And that Seb guy isn't your friend. He's a pig, and you shouldn't let him anywhere near either one of you," says Yoongi. "But I'm guessing you haven't figured that out yet. I'm guessing you convinced Jimin to go after him and fuck over Namjoon.""Don't be dramatic," snaps Taehyung. "'Fuck him over', please. He got turned down for coffee, not thrown in jail. Guys aren't entitled to a date just because they ask for one, you know. Even if they are your friends."Yoongi steps towards him, and Taehyung moves back, just to keep him out of hitting range. "Of course they aren't. And if Jimin wanted to make stupid choices on his own, go after some guy with a six pack instead of a brain, I'd happily let him be a shallow idiot. But that's not what's going on here. What's going on here is Jimin liked Namjoon, and you convinced him that he shouldn't. Tell me you didn't.""Jimin made his decision.""Look me in the eye when you say that."Taehyung looks up, glaring into Yoongi's dark, angry gaze. "I presented him the pros and cons and he chose.""I fucking knew it," says Yoongi, throwing his hands in the air. "What were you thinking?""I was thinking that Jimin should go out with someone who knows how to have actual fun," says Taehyung, jaw tightening. "That Jimin is a great person, and smart and cute and funny and amazing and he doesn't deserve to have a boyfriend who thinks dates should be staring at space rocks or coming up with weird planetary metaphors or talking about dead algae. I was thinking that Namjoon could barely look him in the eye when they talked, and maybe Jimin might like to be kissed before the turn of the century. That Namjoon is a grad student, which means he has no time, and no money, and no energy to give to my best friend who should have romance and passion and the entire college experience. He's boring as fuck, okay? That's what I was thinking."Yoongi's mouth tightens. "Namjoon's one of the smartest guys on campus. He's worth a thousand of your Phi Kappa assholes.""Fantastic. So he's a genius and he's boring at the same time. What a shock," says Taehyung. "I've certainly never met anyone like that before.""Are you talking about me?""I'm looking at you, aren't I?" says Taehyung, like a middle schooler. "You don't have a sexual bone in your body, pun intended, and you haven't been on a date since your freshman year. You study and you sleep and you study and you sleep and that's just about it. I'm not surprised Namjoon's your friend. You're just alike."Yoongi's face is hard, like a mask, like diamonds created it. "Yeah, he is my friend. And I told him to ask Jimin out, that Jimin would be stupid not to like a great guy like Namjoon, and now he'll be crushed because you've got Jimin chasing after some meathead who's not into him, or if he is it's just for a quick fuck.""So that's why you're pissed," says Taehyung, ignoring the last as so wrong it's not worth debating. "It's not because Namjoon doesn't have a coffee date or whatever. It's because you gave your friend advice, and I gave my friend advice, but my advice won. My love story beat yours, and you can't stand that stupid little Taehyung might be better at something than you are. That I might understand what people need, not just what they want.""Yours won? What in the hell are you talking about? This isn't a game!" says Yoongi. "These are real people, Tae. They're not stories you're creating like your Disney movies. How dare you fuck with people like this? People who feel things, deeply, and don't just glance off of the surface of whatever's amusing them that day. Namjoon was so nervous about his stupid crush, you know. He doesn't flirt with a hundred guys every week like you. He doesn't know how to do casual. So he was terrified from the jump, and you made Jimin turn him down, and now he'll probably never be brave enough to make a move on someone ever again. I hope you're really happy about that.""That's not my fault!" says Taehyung. "If he wants to be less scared to ask people out, he should do it more! I can't be held responsible for the emotional damage of every person on the planet.""Then how about taking responsibility for the damage you cause, then? Just one time, be an adult," says Yoongi tiredly. He grips the stool in front of him, head down, and sighs. "I should have stopped you from all this shit before, I guess. But everyone you messed with was already into each other. I thought you were just taking credit for things that were already happening. I thought it was fine. But now you're being cruel. I never expected that. I never thought you were so immature that you honestly wouldn't know what makes a person worth caring about."Taehyung's eyes fill with tears. "I'm not cruel," he says, refusing to wipe them away. "I'm trying to help my friend be happy. I'm sorry if Namjoon is upset. I wish he wasn't. But it's not my fault, and it's not Jimin's fault, and you can't make me feel guilty about it.""So I see," says Yoongi. He looks back up at Taehyung, eyes burning with disappointment. "You're going to regret this, Tae. You think a hot body and a stupid yacht are what's important? You think that Namjoon having a brain is boring? Grow up. Figure out what really matters before you ruin someone's life for real."Taehyung wants to cry, but he swallows his response because he doesn't want to cry here. Eventually he says, voice wobbling, "I've always thought you were worth caring about. What does that say about you?""I don't know," says Yoongi. "Maybe nothing good. Get out of here."He says it with finality, like Taehyung's never supposed to come back, and if Taehyung weren't so mad he'd collapse. But he is mad, and he'll be mad forever, so he says, "Fine." It's more a croak than a declaration, but he spins on his heel and stomps out anyway. He stomps down the hall, and up the stairs, and to his room, where he slams the door and lets the tears flow.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I have an announcement," calls Taehyung as he runs down the hall. "Everyone, I have an announcement! It's Jimin Park's birthday! Please clap!"The mildly crowded hallway applauds, and Taehyung shouts encouragement, running back to Jimin who has a cardboard crown on his head and a slightly terrified expression on his face. But he smiles at everyone who's applauding him, all of whom applaud a little louder when they see how cute he is and how good his smile is, and Taehyung starts in on a chorus of Happy Birthday that takes them all the way down the hall to Jimin's classroom.The teacher is already at the front of the room, and she looks friendly enough so Taehyung follows Jimin right inside."Tae," Jimin hisses. "Class starts in two minutes.""I only need one," he says, smiling at the teacher. "Hello Ms. Professor. Today is your favorite student Jimin's birthday. To celebrate he brought cupcakes. Because it's elementary education, and my mom always took cupcakes in for me in elementary school."Taehyung holds up his bakery sack hopefully, and the friendly-looking teacher laughs. "I don't have a favorite student, but I think the class will certainly appreciate the treats. Thank you, Jimin. Your presentation is still due at the end of the week.""I know!" says Jimin quickly. His face is the pinkest thing in the universe now that his hair is back to black. "I'm going to get it done, don't worry. This was his idea.""I trust you," says the professor, and she smiles at Taehyung because they both know Jimin is everyone's favorite. "Please put the cupcakes on my desk and leave.""Yes ma'am!"He waves at Jimin when he's done, his classmates already crowding around the boxes and thanking him, and Taehyung zooms out of the room with a huge smile on his face. A couple of kids yell hello to him, and he yells hello back, and when he bursts into a sunny day everything feels like perfection. But this was only stage one of Park Jimin's Birthday Extravaganza, so he sets off to the dorm once more.When he gets there, the perfection of the day only increases because Hoseok is pacing around in front of the building, his eyes on his phone. Taehyung takes a few happy seconds to check out his ass, then says, "Hey there! You here to see me?"Hoseok looks up, startled, then grins. "I'd be an idiot if I weren't. Looking good, Taetae.""I know," says Taehyung. He'd dressed for Jimin's birthday in his most royal ensemble, riots of purple and green and red as befitted a herald, and it's fantastic. "It's Jimin's birthday. Do you want to come in and help me decorate his room while he's in class?""Definitely.""And give me a piggyback ride? I have to conserve my legs for the bike ride back to class. I'm on a tight schedule."Hoseok gives him a once-over before spinning around. "We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to those legs, would we?"Taehyung hops up happily, whacking him on the shoulder to make him go, and Hoseok bounds up the stairs with casual strength. He opens the doors enthusiastically, the front desk attendant not at all amused with them, even when Taehyung says, "Happy Park Jimin Day!"And as he says it, Yoongi swings out of his room and wipes the smile off of Taehyung's face.They haven't talked at all since their fight, like usual, existing in complete silence until the anger fades away like it had never been. Every argument they've ever had, from who deserved the dump truck toy to whose turn it was to pay for gas had been resolved in the exact same way. The only variation is how long it takes to disappear, which is inversely proportional to the amount of rage swirling between them.This feels like they might never talk again until they die.Everyone around them gets quiet, too, because the whole place knows when Yoongi and Taehyung are at war even if they don't know why, and there's an uptick in scurrying freshman. Only Hoseok seems to have no idea what's happening, and he says, "Wow, I didn't know the forecast was calling for sudden bursts of silence today.""Let's go," says Taehyung, tightening his grip around Hoseok's neck. He doesn't want to look at Yoongi's annoying face anymore, not if it's going to be looking at him like he's a bug on the ground that should be squished.He wants to look at it even less when Jeongguk steps out of Yoongi's room and shakes out his hair. He looks more relaxed than he usually does, but that stops as soon as he sees their audience."Hey Taetae, do you have the time?" asks Hoseok."1:45," says Taehyung. "Ish.""Oh wow, 1:45 already? It's definitely getting late," says Hoseok, sounding shocked.Taehyung agrees and insists they should get moving while Jeongguk says goodbye to Yoongi and shoves past them, probably on a quest for more calories. Yoongi blinks at Taehyung, still supported on Hoseok's broad back, and Taehyung almost hopes he yells at him. It would be nice for some of the tension to fly outward for once, instead of collapsing inside of them like an imploded light bulb.But Yoongi only says, "You're blocking the entrance," in disinterested monotone, like Taehyung's some strange kid who just happens to live in the dorm, then turns around and goes back into his room without another word."Fuck the entrance," says Taehyung, and Hoseok chuckles darkly beneath him. "Let's go decorate."And they do, and Taehyung tries to get back into the celebration spirit but he can feel stupid Yoongi's aura in the building and that makes happiness completely impossible even with Hoseok next to him. The only thing that gets even close to joy is when Seb shows up unexpectedly, tapping on the frame to Jimin's room with the heavy hand of someone who knows they're always welcome.Which he is. Taehyung jumps up and down with delight, then frowns. "You came for Jimin's birthday! That's so nice of you. But he's not here. He has class.""Ah, that's okay," says Seb. He greets Hoseok, doing a complex series of hand slaps that Taehyung can barely follow but Hoseok seems to find as easy as breathing. "I came to drop off marina passes. You'll need them to get in next weekend."Taehyung takes the cards and stares at them. "You're not going to drive us?"A slow smile spreads across Seb's face, crinkling it into new hotness that Taehyung wishes Jimin could see. "Did you want me to? I won't be coming back until late the next day.""We don't have a car," says Taehyung, blinking ingratiatingly. "I don't even know how to drive.""How could I refuse? I'll pick you up out front around noon, okay?"Taehyung grins. "Thanks! And I'll tell Jimin you say happy birthday. He looks extra cute today.""I'm sure he does," says Seb. He leans against the door, arm over his head. "You really like that kid, don't you?""He's my best friend," says Taehyung proudly. "And he's adorable.""I think you're both pretty adorable," says Seb as he turns to go. "I'm looking forward to the party.""Me too! Bye!"Taehyung shoves the passes in his pocket and tells himself they're there five times, then changes his mind and puts them in Jimin's top desk drawer. He knows who's more responsible here.Hoseok's looking at him with an amused expression when he turns around. "You're a man of many faces and even more mysteries. I'm not gonna lie, you're hard to keep up with.""Maybe you should move a little faster then," says Taehyung, but he's almost on autopilot as he rifles through paper. "Okay I have one more pixel picture of Jimin to tape up on the ceiling, make sure I don't fall?""Will do," says Hoseok, squaring up. "But when you do fall, I'll catch you like the dashing hero I was always meant to be.""You're no Robin Hood, I'll tell you that much," says Taehyung, and no matter how much Hoseok insists he refuses to explain even the smallest amount of what he means.Seokjin's lucky he has rich parents, because he has very expensive tastes in food. Which Taehyung takes advantage of whenever he can, and today they're at a steakhouse drinking a very nice wine and waiting for their pieces of seared cow to show up. Todd is off doing schoolwork of some kind, and Taehyung is so happy to have Seokjin to himself again that he could cry.Even if Seokjin has basically talked about Todd the entire time.But eventually he asks Taehyung about his upcoming yacht party, which he's very impressed with. "Watch out for boat boys, though," he says seriously. "Something about the high seas makes them think they're pirates.""No pirate's getting a hand on my booty," says Taehyung, just to make Seokjin cackle in delight. It's not a highbrow enough sound for this restaurant, but Seokjin's never been the type of person who cares about that. "This is Jimin's trip anyway. I'm so excited for him."They'd gone on Jimin's birthday fountain run solo, Taehyung wanting some best friend time more than almost anything, and after Jimin had sprinted through the water spout shrieking in true Jimin fashion they'd laid on the grass while he dried and talked about boys into the night. Jimin had held his hand and giggled and died over Seb's special birthday visit to his room, and it had felt exactly like a movie except it was real. Taehyung loved nights like that, and they were about to have another one in just a few days. College rocked.And Seokjin is out of school, doing his version of a real job which involves light freelancing and a lot of free time for fancy lunches. But the sparkle in his eyes tells Taehyung he misses campus, especially when he leans forward and says, "I have a love mission for you once you're wrapped up with Jimin.""I'm always ready for a love mission!" says Taehyung, tearing his piece of bread into tiny pieces that he's not going to eat. "Operation Mini-Muffin is basically in the bag, so hit me."Seokjin pauses for dramatic effect, during which Taehyung readies his gasp of delight as he always does. Their food comes before he can say anything, which slightly ruins the moment, thought it ends up being okay because Seokjin says, "I think Yoongi has a crush on someone.""Oh," says Taehyung, trying to sound enthused. "Really?""Absolutely.""I doubt it," says Taehyung. "He'd have to think someone is more important than education to have a crush."Seokjin laughs. "As unlikely as it sounds, I think he actually does. He's been extra spaced out the last few weeks. Not the exhausted kind. The distracted kind. I haven't seen him like this since our freshman year, when a very hot TA got him flustered enough to pretend that he needed remedial help with chemistry."Taehyung toys with his steak, his appetite gone. "Well, good for him. But even if he does he wouldn't want my help.""As if what other people want has ever mattered to you," says Seokjin, and he says it lovingly but Taehyung flinches anyway. "You haven't even asked me who it is. Do you already know?""No. But I can't picture Yoongi dating anyone," says Taehyung, and that's the truth at least. Yoongi's always existed in a state of otherness, untouchableness, even when he was going out with people. He was just… Yoongi. He didn't fit with anyone else.Seokjin takes a big bite of meat and makes an appreciative sound. "I'm sure it's that Jeongguk kid."Taehyung chokes, awkwardly, considering he doesn't have anything in his mouth, and he looks at Seokjin like he's crazy. "You're crazy," he says, to emphasize the point."He's been in Yoongi's room three out of the last five times I've been over there," says Seokjin. "Just hanging out, like that's a thing Yoongi ever does. And Yoongi joined his intramural basketball team again even though he has no time for it. Plus he asked his mom to dig out his old jerseys for him to grab the next time he's home. Jerseys! He'll probably have a bandana by the time this is all done. I ask you, does that sound like the iconoclastic goth fairy that we both know and love?"It doesn't, and Taehyung gets interested despite himself. "He let Jeongguk borrow his laptop. Like, take it out of his room and put files on it. Without supervision.""Be still my heart," says Seokjin, fluttering a hand over his chest. "But seriously. This new energy is going towards impressing someone, and I bet it's Jeongguk.""But Jeongguk is so quiet," says Taehyung. "How can Yoongi even know what he's like to have a crush on him? He doesn't say any words!""Not to you, maybe. But Yoongi says he's smart, which means they must have had some conversations," says Seokjin. "But really, when someone looks like Jeongguk, he doesn't need to talk much. His body is insane."Taehyung frowns and twirls his fork. "Yoongi doesn't care about stuff like that.""Everyone cares about stuff like that," says Seokjin. "I'm surprised you haven't picked up on all of this already. It took me three seconds and I barely see him. You're with him all the time.""We haven't talked in awhile."Taehyung says it mildly, looking down at the table, but Seokjin knows them both too well. "Oh, you guys are in the cone of silence again? I should have known your 'we never fight' nonsense wouldn't last. But it will blow over soon and then you can start Operation Yoong and the Restless. How long has it been?""A little over a week," says Taehyung. More like ten days, actually, but it feels eternal to say it in days so he doesn't say it.Seokjin's amusement vanishes. "You haven't talked to each other in an entire week? What the hell happened?""He's being a dick," says Taehyung. He wraps his arms around himself, tugging lightly at his shirt. It's cold in the restaurant, he thinks, and he wishes he had a jacket. "He just… he just hates me a lot. He thinks I'm a really terrible person.""Sweetie, I'm sure he doesn't hate you.""It's okay," says Taehyung, forcing a smile. "It's given me lots of time to hang out with Jimin. And Hoseok. Hoseok is a lot of fun.""He is, isn't he?" says Seokjin, smiling gently. "I was almost sorry to see him move out. And he thinks you're the greatest, which is a quality I always appreciate in my house guests."Taehyung's forced smile intensifies, making a hollow void across his face. "Of course he does. I am the greatest."Seokjin reaches across the table in unspoken command, and Taehyung takes his hand. "I love you like Mario loves Toad, you little drama bomb.""I love you like Todd loves Copper," says Taehyung.Seokjin gives him a squeeze, then takes his hand back and claps briskly. "Fuck a diet, I want dessert."And Taehyung doesn't protest, even though his steak is still partially uneaten, because he wants to stay in this restaurant with Seokjin forever and be happy like Seokjin always knows how to make him. He starts telling stories about Todd's mother which are designed perfectly to make Taehyung crack up without being incriminating future son-in-law conversation, and Taehyung is begging to meet her when an unwelcome voice comes from behind him."What's the emergency, Jin? I have shit to do," says Yoongi, but Taehyung can feel the moment in the middle of his sentence where he realizes that Taehyung is there. He'd probably been staring at his phone when he walked in, taking care of his thousand and one smart, responsible student things, and he hadn't had time to think about the people in front of him at all. Because Yoongi wouldn't have even come in the restaurant if he'd known Taehyung was polluting it with his presence.Seokjin's eyebrows draw up into pleased astonishment. "Thank goodness you're here. I have a molten lava cake on the way that absolutely must be eaten, but I just remembered I have an appointment to see a man about an emu. Please rectify this dreadful situation by eating the cake for me.""An emu," says Yoongi flatly."Indeed," says Seokjin, standing and folding his napkin precisely. "I'll take care of the bill on my way out. Sit.""He won't," mutters Taehyung. Yoongi is the most stubborn person in the universe, and even Seokjin can't make him bend before he wants to. They'd fought one-sided screaming matches over things all the time last year, Seokjin the loud one and Yoongi the one who did a perfect impression of deafness, and Taehyung used to find the irresistible force and immovable object moments between them amusing.That feels like forever ago.The waiter shows up with the promised dessert before any screaming starts, and there's a moment of confusion where Seokjin's charming him into setting it down, explaining the patron switch, and shoving Yoongi into his chair with terrifying force all at the same time.Taehyung just sits, hands in his lap, while Yoongi is manhandled into position. To Taehyung's surprise, he doesn't immediately leap back up in outrage and Seokjin grunts, satisfied. He wanders off with the waiter, asking winsomely for the check, and Taehyung and Yoongi sit in silence.Yoongi eats a bite of the cake, then shoves it over to him. Taehyung doesn't take it, shrinking into his chair."I'll just be here for a little bit," says Taehyung. He looks across the restaurant like there's something really interesting to see, not just an elderly couple feeding each other bites of food off of their plates. "Jin will probably watch us for ten minutes, then he'll get bored. So don't worry. I won't lower your IQ by association any longer than I have to."He risks a glance at Yoongi, who's staring at him with a strange gravity. Like there's something about Taehyung that he's taking measure of, and Taehyung isn't enough of whatever it is. Like there's something missing from him, and Taehyung feels very small under that gaze.The clink of fork on plate is deafening at their quiet table, the murmuring of wait staff and the hushed swoosh of fine linen only making it more obvious how much conversation isn't being had."And not for nothing, because I know I'm stupid, but I'm getting really good grades this year," continues Taehyung restlessly. "I only have one B, in Developmental Psychology, and I just did really good on our test this week so that will probably be an A once it's graded. And psych is tough. It's not engineering or astrophysics or whatever you and your genius friends study, but it's not easy. I'm not slacking off. I wish I could be as smart as you want me to be. But I'm just me. I don't know how to be anyone else.""Tae," says Yoongi, but Taehyung doesn't want to hear that. He doesn't want to hear anything. Without the distraction of the rest of his life, with just Yoongi here across from him, he feels their unfilled void so strongly that it almost has a weight."Do you ever think about how we only like each other because we had to?" asks Taehyung. His words come quick, too quick, and he can't stop them from spilling over. "Korean kids growing up next door, and our parents wanting us to be friends so badly. They made us do all of those sleepovers, and my parents talked about you all the time, and they sent me over to your house so often that for a long time I thought it was the other part of my house. I thought we just had two separate buildings, to keep our stuff divided into family names. We had no choice but to like each other, just to survive it. Proximity friendship."But if you'd met me now you'd hate me. You'd hate every piece of me, I think, and you wouldn't choose me at all for your life. I think about that sometimes. Unmyeong, right? Those tricks of fate, the way destiny makes a path. But I think destiny isn't always very careful where she steps. She should have given you a better neighbor."Yoongi doesn't say anything, and there are a thousand more words building up behind Taehyung's lips but he squeezes them tightly closed and holds them in. He's already saying too much. This isn't the end of their fight, and these aren't the kinds of things that they say to each other even when it is. They've never related to each other this way, like they have to negotiate their space to fit. Yoongi has always been there, like the bottom of a foot or the bend of an elbow, doing necessary work in his life without Taehyung ever having to think about it.He's thinking about it now."Was Namjoon okay?" asks Taehyung finally. "Is he okay?""He's devastated," says Yoongi, the words falling heavily on the table. Taehyung's not looking at him, but he can picture the pinch in his forehead, the disapproval across his features. "But he's getting on with his life."Taehyung doesn't have a worthwhile answer to that, so he rubs the fabric of the tablecloth in between his thumb and finger and curls his toes into his shoes while Yoongi eats. After a few minutes Taehyung looks around and doesn't see Seokjin anywhere, so he pushes back from the table."Do you need a ride?" asks Yoongi. He's finished the dessert, but he doesn't have his phone out. He's not doing much of anything, it seems, and Taehyung thinks Yoongi might be considering that maybe he doesn't need the bend of his elbow as much as he'd always believed.Jeongguk is the kind of person Yoongi chooses."I have my bike," says Taehyung, his voice raspy, and he gets out of the restaurant as fast as he possibly can.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I brought you oranges," says Taehyung anxiously, holding up a bag. "All of the ones they had. And they didn't have chicken soup today but they had a chicken Caesar salad and I thought we could pour hot water over it?"Jimin looks up from his narrow bed, tissues ringed around him in a halo, and he sneezes so hard his hair flops over his forehead. He's wearing a face mask, so Taehyung can't see how disgusting he looks, but he's pretty sure it's really disgusting."Thanks," croaks Jimin, reaching out for the bag and taking it sweetly. "I'm sure they'll help.""Let me peel one for you."Taehyung sits on the side of the bed and snatches the bag back, reaching in for the biggest orange he can find and biting into it to start peeling. Even in his sick state, Jimin seems mildly appalled at the violence."This is how my dad taught me to peel oranges," Taehyung says, his mouth full of rind. "It's like rats. You bite the head off, then rip out the spine, then you skin it."He suits actions to words, pulling out the middle stem of orange and peeling around the outside."This will make you all better," he says confidently, handing Jimin the first section. "It's got vitamins. And then you can come to the party."Because Seb is coming in an hour, and while Seb is desperately in love most confessions go better if one of the participants doesn't have snot running out of their nose. In Taehyung's experience.Jimin sneezes again, three times in quick succession, and Taehyung frowns. "I'm starting to think you might not be able to go."Jimin shakes his head miserably, scooting down under his covers. "My head is way too big right now.""It's just the right size, like always," says Taehyung. "But we'll stay here and nap. Parties are dumb anyway, I don't think there's ever been a good party in the whole history of the world.""No, you should go," says Jimin. "You've been looking forward to it so much.""I've been looking forward to going with you!""That's sweet," says Jimin sleepily. "You're sweet. But I'm just going to be laying here. And Yugyeom said he'd look in on me, so you should go and have fun for me. Take pictures and tell me all about it. Please, Tae?"Taehyung's about to refuse but Jimin deploys his best puppy dog eyes and Taehyung is very weak. He sighs and says, "Fine. I can talk you up all night to Seb and we can be sad together about how we're missing your beautiful face."Jimin's eyes disappear in a smile, still red and watery. "Okay. Have a good night.""I love you the most," says Taehyung, leaning over and kissing Jimin on his sweaty forehead. "You're the kind of person I'd always choose.""Me too," murmurs Jimin, and he's sliding into sleep when Taehyung creeps out of the room to get changed with a single, regretful look back.Seb is fifteen minutes late, and in that waiting period Taehyung almost goes back inside a million times. He likes parties just fine, but this one isn't going to be anything like he'd been hoping for. But he's still sitting outside when Seb gets there, his marina pass in his pocket and his best casual yacht-wear on, so he runs up to the open-topped Jeep with as much enthusiasm as he can muster."I have such bad news," he says. "Jimin's really sick. He can't come.""Can't hold his liquor, huh?" asks one of the girls in the backseat, laughing. "Someone better toughen up if they want to hang with us."Taehyung glares at her. "He has a cold."Seb looks more appropriately sympathetic. "That sucks. Hop in."He gestures to the open shotgun seat, and Taehyung is touched on Jimin's behalf that he'd saved it. "Do you want to go in and wish him well?"It's a gamble, because Jimin really does look as gross as its possible for him to look, so Taehyung's not too disappointed when Seb shakes his head. "Better not risk the germs. Come on, we're going to be late."Taehyung jumps in the bucket seat, sunglasses over his eyes, and he looks over when Seb doesn't move the car. Instead he's staring at him, that practiced grin on his face, and says, "I'm glad the guest of honor could still make it, though. I've been told it's never much of a party if you're not there.""It's true," says Taehyung, nodding. "You shouldn't even bother having one at all."Seb leans over and kisses him on the cheek. Taehyung's eyebrows shoot up but he accepts it as best he can, shifting towards the door as Seb puts the car in gear. That kiss was probably for Jimin, Taehyung reasons, and he makes a note to pass it on when they get back."You have a television on your boat!" says Taehyung, turning it on just to see if it's real. The yacht is suitably big, and Taehyung's loving every inch of it. They're currently in the lounge area, which has spotless couches straight out of a beach cottage and windows from floor to ceiling that make it sunny and warm even inside. "This is like a hotel but it's floating."Seb chuckles from his place by the door. The party is good-sized, and there are a lot of people milling around inside and out, but Seb had graciously insisted on giving Taehyung a personal tour. The girls they'd come with had been a little annoyed with that, but Taehyung thought they were annoying too so it all evened out."You're more right than you know," says Seb, putting his hand on Taehyung's lower back as he steers him towards a stairway to a lower deck. There's a little kitchen area to the right of it, and Taehyung wonders if they have popcorn as they wander past.But he forgets about popcorn when Seb slides a pocket door at the bottom of the stairs open. "It's a whole bed!" says Taehyung. "It looks really comfy. And there's a bathroom too. Is this boat bigger on the inside than the outside or something?""This is the master bedroom," says Seb. "There's a couple of others, but this one's reserved for special people.""That makes sense, it's a special room. There's a huge bathtub!" says Taehyung.He's a little glad Jimin couldn't make it, because by the way Seb's talking he's definitely thinking Jimin would have been his special person, and that's maybe a step too far for this particular relationship. Yoongi had been wrong about a lot of things, but he hadn't been wrong about Jimin's mostly theoretical kissing experience and Taehyung hadn't been aware that boats could have beds. Taehyung would have kept him out of anything he didn't want, but Seb's expression says it might not have been easy.Taehyung looks up, like he can see through the ceiling, and says, "Is the boat going to move soon? That's my favorite part, when it starts moving.""If you want us to move, we're moving," says Seb, and he leads Taehyung back out onto the crowded deck. A couple of people yank Seb away, and Taehyung looks around until he sees an open-air cockpit above them. He goes up the nearest stairwell and pushes his way past the people looking down at the hot tub, then offers a big smile to the man behind the steering wheel. He's about forty, very tan, and nearly expressionless."Hello! I'm Taehyung," he says. "Are you the captain?"The man rolls his eyes a little, but he says politely enough, "Yes. I'm Jack.""Captain Jack," says Taehyung, grinning hugely. "That's so good. Like the pirate movie.""Yeah," says the guy, unenthused.Taehyung narrows his eyes, taking in the man's entire being. "That's not your real name, is it?""Nope," says the guy. "It's Juan. They didn't like the sound of that as much.""I'm going to call you Captain Juan," says Taehyung firmly. "It's important to use true names. Now, please tell me everything about boats. All I know so far is that they have televisions inside of them sometimes.""You want me to tell you everything about boats," says Juan slowly. "In what? Ten minutes?""I've got all day," says Taehyung. "My best friend is sneezing instead of getting a boyfriend today, so that means this party is basically useless. But I like to learn. I looked up some boat words this morning. Rudder. Starboard. Keel. Jib."Juan laughs. "Jibs are on sailboats.""Good to know," says Taehyung. "See, I'm already learning. What does that button do?"He points at a light on the console, but before Juan can answer Seb appears. "Alright, Jack, we're ready to go. Not too far away from the coast, but we'll be out all night."Juan nods, grabbing a radio from a holster at his waist and speaking into it in rapid Spanish. Taehyung listens hard, trying to figure out who he's talking to, but Seb distracts him by slipping a hand around his waist and passing him a full glass of champagne. "It's bad luck not to toast a boat launch."Taehyung wrinkles his nose but there's no graceful way out of it, and a few other people are leaning up with their own glasses prepared. Taehyung toasts with Seb, then clinks whatever other glasses he can find and drains his glass. And he laughs as the yacht starts to pull away from the pier, because this definitely isn't as much fun as it would be with Jimin, but the sparkling water and beautiful sky are still lovely.Taehyung doesn't get to ask Captain Juan nearly enough boat questions because the partygoers won't leave him alone. He doesn't drink any more, sliding away from insistent offers like oil from water, but he has to get in the hot tub a few times, and people want him to take pictures with them, and he puts sunscreen on so many shoulders that he thinks his hands will smell like coconut for the entire rest of eternity.But a lot of the shoulders are cute ones, so that's nice.And every time he works his way back up to the cockpit for another lesson Seb somehow finds him again, drawing him back into the party without asking. Taehyung tries to be patient, because his best friend's future boyfriend deserves some patience when he's mourning his loneliness, but Taehyung's honestly ready to tell him off by the dozenth time Seb leads him back to the bar. He hates to be manhandled more than anything in the world except for alcohol."You know, sometimes people maybe don't want to drink?" he says once. "I'm as much fun sober as most people are drunk."Seb laughs, low in his throat. He's way too close while wearing not enough clothes, and Taehyung doesn't know where his own shirt is but he'd like it back because Seb keeps touching his bare chest without asking. "I don't doubt it.""You shouldn't," says Taehyung. "I always tell the truth. Also that's my chest you're touching."Seb grins, blue eyes sparkling, and when a girl behind him yells that it's time for Spin the Bottle, Seb drags him into that without asking, too.Taehyung tries to leave, citing a bathroom emergency in desperation, but they don't believe him and he finds himself squeezed into a circle of beautiful people that he's not at all in the mood for. But he laughs cheerfully when they look at him, and he spins the bottle with as much joy as he can find.He ends up kissing a bunch of people, cute guys and pretty girls and every single one of them tastes like tequila. They don't stick in his mind, and they don't belong in his story of the night, so Taehyung looks to the horizon as much as he can to memorize the orange hues of the sunset and the pink streaks of the sky and forget all of the extraneous nonsense that he doesn't want to mix it up with.They'd stopped moving a long time ago, and he's thinking that he should try to take some pictures for Jimin when Seb grabs his chin and kisses him, deep and slow. It's a good kiss, a really good one in fact, and there are a lot of happy little "ooohs" around them as it's happening. Taehyung can't really blame them for their excitement, but he counts to ten inside of it, the minimum required length of kiss for the game, and breaks away as soon as he hits ten.When he looks into the circle, there's someone across the way spinning, and he frowns. "It wasn't even your turn!"Seb leans back in like he's going to kiss him again. "Boat owner privilege. It's always my turn when it comes to kissing the hottest guy here."Taehyung pushes him away lightly, putting a smile on his face to cover his rising anger. "I am very hot, but you're obviously very drunk. Maybe sober up a little?"He slides out of his grasping hands and snakes around the front of the boat - the prow, he thinks happily - where there aren't any people, then leans on the railing and looks over the darkening water. The light is gone, faster than he would have believed possible here at the edge of the world, and its peace settles over him like a blanket. He drinks it in, tilting his head back to the sky and staring at the peeking stars. This is nice, he thinks, a perfect romantic setting, and he's annoyed with both germs for robbing him of his opportunity to create and Seb for not handling his disappointment better.Taehyung is definitely going to buy a boat someday, with a TV and a bed, but without a bar anywhere on it.He's musing on these pleasant thoughts, wondering if the Big Dipper is anywhere up there and if he'd know what it looked like if it were, when a pair of muscled arms slips around his waist tightly enough to make him whoosh out all of his air. He stiffens, and he doesn't need to hear the murmured words in his ear to know who it is."I thought I'd find you up here," says Seb. His lips brush against Taehyung's skin, and Taehyung tries to shy away, impossibly. "Nice and quiet."Seb keeps kissing him, and Taehyung's suddenly reminded that he's shirtless when his hands start wandering too. "Look," he says, trying to stay calm. "I know there's a joke about white people thinking all Asians look alike, but I'm not Jimin. I'm not anything like him.""You don't have to tell me that," says Seb, snorting a little. "Trust me, Tae, I'd never mistake you for that dork. You're one-of-a-kind. And I've been looking forward to this for a long time.""What?""Don't get me wrong, I've been very into your little flirting games with him. Very sexy," says Seb. His hand splays over Taehyung's stomach, no matter how much Taehyung tries to intercede. "And I was also into the threesome you were setting up. But to be honest, I'd rather have your undivided attention tonight, so it worked out for the best."Taehyung freezes, which Seb takes as an invitation to start kissing him in earnest, sucking marks along his jaw that Taehyung barely feels. When he spins around, Seb moves to his mouth, and there's a muffled moment where he's trying to talk and Seb is trying to kiss that's very un-sexy."Stop," he eventually manages to say, leaning away over the railing. "I don't understand anything.""Really? You haven't even had anything to drink," says Seb, but he stops the kissing. "Did you want something?""I want you to make sense," says Taehyung. He pokes Seb in the chest. "You like Jimin. Jimin Park. He's little and cute? You invited him here.""No, I invited you here," says Seb. His voice is amused, full of humor, and his blue eyes are colorless in the dark. "I know you're not always with it, but even you had to know that I'm interested. And you've been flirting with me long enough, not that I'm complaining.""Um, I would never flirt with you. You went to coffee with Jimin," says Taehyung. "And you sat with him at swimming. And you came by for his birthday!""Look," says Seb, his tones flattening. "I'm not really in the mood to talk about your boring friend right now, no offense. The innocent act only works so long, and I've been pretty patient. I know you want me. So, we can make out here for awhile if you want, or we can take it to the bedroom, but either way I think I've put in the work, okay? Enough hoops already."Taehyung hardly knows what to say, and his mind clings to the one thing he knows for sure. "Jimin's not boring!""He really is," says Seb. He pushes closer, and his huge hand rises to grip Taehyung's neck. "All that blushing, wide-eyed shit might do it for some guys, but I don't fuck around with virgins. And the guys made it sound like you knew what you were doing, but maybe they were the ones fucking with me. Were they fucking with me, Tae?"And that clears up his confusion very quickly, a blazing anger coursing through him for himself or for Jimin or maybe for both of them at the same time. He rips himself out of Seb's grasp, which is suddenly tight enough to hurt, and says, "Yep. I'm not even gay. I like vaginas the most. So you can leave now.""You fucking tease," says Seb, and his voice isn't amused at all anymore. "What the hell did you even come here for, then? To play some game? Waste my fucking time? Or are you just trying to rile me up a little? I can work with that, too."His always-moving hand closes around Taehyung's wrist, which suddenly feels very fragile, and Taehyung slams them both against the boat railing. It hurts, but he hardly feels it, even though Seb swears and shakes himself out like he felt it just fine."Ugh," says Taehyung, taking a long step back. "Not if you were the only dick left on the planet. Emphasis on dick.""Be careful," says Seb, low and dangerous in the darkness. "You're hot, but no one's hot enough to talk to me like that. Not after putting me through all this garbage."Taehyung's skin crawls along his back, and he hates so much that he's missing clothes. He hates everything about this, the way the boat is so quiet up here at the front, the way he's entirely alone, and the only thing he can think is to get away as fast as he possibly can. He spins around without another word, and Seb calls after him, "You were wrong, you're not any fun sober."When Taehyung gets back to the party the noise and the drunks are even less enticing than they were before. But he has to keep moving because Seb follows him, a cold glare in his blue eyes, and for a long second Taehyung thinks he's going to chase him down in front of everyone. But instead he veers towards a group of frat guys, mostly upright, and murmurs something to them that gets them staring at Taehyung, and laughing, and cracking other jokes of their own. Seb's expression is cruel, like a little kid drowning a cat, and he's so ugly it's almost unbelievable.Taehyung wraps his arms around his waist, looking for a friendly face, but there aren't any friends here. There's just people that he knows, who know him enough for pictures and toasts but not enough to care. And they're all turning decidedly unfriendly as whatever Seb is saying spreads around the party, more and more people giving him weird eyebrows, and he can't smile anymore. He doesn't know what they're saying, but he's well aware of how many people he kissed tonight, and he can certainly guess.He's very far away from home.That sparks an idea, and he holds up his chin like he's not nervous at all and runs up the stairs before anyone can talk to him. Captain Juan is still in the cockpit even though they're not moving, reading a book, and Taehyung tries to smile at him when he looks up. It probably doesn't reach his eyes, because Juan sets his book down and focuses on him very quickly."I'd like to go back to the land now," says Taehyung quietly. "Are we leaving soon?""No, I'm sorry," says Juan. "We were planning to anchor here all night.""Is there a little boat I can drive home maybe? I don't want to stay here all night.""I see," says Juan. He pauses for a long moment, studying him, then adds, "I think Mr. Elias wouldn't want one of his guests to be uncomfortable."Taehyung almost asks who that is, then the penny drops. He nods, barely even moving his head, and says, "Yeah you're right.""We'll have to go slow," says Juan. "You can sit up here, if you're not feeling well.""Thanks," says Taehyung in a small voice. He moves over to the corner of the cushioned bench and curls his legs up underneath him, picking at his swim trunks. "Is it okay if I don't learn anything else about boats tonight?"Juan shrugs agreeably, talking into his radio again, and when the boat shudders with the feeling of firing engines, Taehyung appreciates the boat doing the shaking for him.To Taehyung's surprise, Seb never comes up to ask why the boat is moving, though when he peeks over the side of the cockpit he doesn't see Seb at all. Probably in the stupid master bedroom with one of his stupid friends, Taehyung thinks, and he's thankful for small favors. They might all be talking about him down there, but no one will come looking for him and that's all he cares about.Juan eventually says they're close to the drop-off point, even though there aren't all of the boats around that Taehyung remembers from the marina. Juan tells him that this public pier is closer, and it's already taken them hours to get this far anyway so Taehyung doesn't argue. He just thanks him again, even more gratefully when Juan calls up another crew member to help Taehyung off the boat.Seb's back on deck by the time he gets down there, arms folded around some girl with a very satisfied look on her face. Maybe one of the girls that rode with them. She deserves him, probably, Taehyung thinks, even more when she waves at him a single finger at a time."Great to see you, Tae," says Seb insincerely. "Good luck getting home."Taehyung's already on the ground when he says it, and he looks around at the desolate area with a touch of fear. But he's not going to show any fear to this asshole, so he smiles as big as he can. "Thanks."He wants to say more, a lot more. He wants to scream at this guy for a million reasons, but he keeps himself quiet as Juan pulls them away, a single honk of the horn Taehyung's only goodbye. He doesn't watch the boat leave, pulling his phone out and walking towards the nearest streetlight. It's probably safe here, but it's one in the morning and he has no idea where he is.Technology is on his side, though, maps and Uber taking care of him, and he's glad he never loses track of his phone. By the time he gets back, shivering a little in the cool night breeze, Taehyung's so happy to see the dorm that he could cry. He'd waited on these steps earlier, he remembers, though it feels like lifetimes ago, and now that he's back whatever had been keeping him together, adrenaline or determination or the spine of the universe, it completely falls apart. Like a string around a package being cut.He thinks about going to his room and being alone all night, for a brief, terrible second he thinks about it, and he doesn't want to think about that anymore.Taehyung looks at his phone, wondering if he even has anyone to call. Seokjin would come, but he's out of town with Todd and he's impossible to wake up anyway. He thinks of Jimin, but it's like touching a hot, heartbroken stove with his brain, so that's not an option. And he has so many other friends, but none of them are the kinds of friends he would go to with something like this. They're hugs-and-smiles friends, not I-don't-want-to-sleep-alone friends.Yugyeom's face rises in his mind, and he thinks that's the best he's going to get given that apparently no one actually likes him. He trudges up the stairs on legs that shake only a little, swiping his keycard and trying to decide if it's better to call and then knock or just knock, and he's halfway across the lobby before he realizes his feet have gone in a totally different direction from his brain.Yoongi's door looks like every other door in the whole place, but Taehyung recognizes its pattern all the same."Yoongi," he says softly, knocking on the door. It's so soft it can hardly be called a knock at all, and Yoongi's asleep so he's never going to hear it, but Taehyung can't bear to make noise now. "Yoongi please."His cheeks feel wet, and he doesn't know when that happened but he doesn't try to wipe them. He doesn't try to do anything except stand there, and whisper Yoongi's name as his knuckles brush plywood.The door opens in the opposite of a slam, a rush of air away from his face that almost unbalances him. The dim light reveals Yoongi in the doorway, wearing his slightly-too-big pajamas with a murderous look on his face that Taehyung has missed with his entire body. It's so much, the tiny steadiness of him is so much, and Taehyung doesn't want to be sent away."What in the fuck are you doing?" asks Yoongi, eyes squinting into the dim hall light. "It is the middle of the damn night -"He breaks off, even though Taehyung hasn't said anything or done anything or even moved, and when he speaks again he's changed into something new. "Tae, what's wrong?"Taehyung doesn't say anything, but he thinks his cheeks are getting wetter. He thinks all of him is wetter, somehow, even though he hasn't been in a hot tub in hours."Are you hurt?" asks Yoongi, all sleep erased from his being. The wiry hum of his voice is tense, a vibrating guitar string, but he doesn't move. "Talk to me, Tae.""No," says Taehyung, and that's enough to make him cry for real.Yoongi's hand reaches out, his comforting hand, and he touches the same wrist that Seb grabbed with gentle fingers. Taehyung flinches away from it, then hates himself for it when Yoongi withdraws like a man from a spooked horse. Because he wants that hand, a lot, and so he reaches out his other one, his non-compromised one, and grabs Yoongi's flannel sleeve instead."Come here," says Yoongi, letting Taehyung hold on as he guides him into the room and closes the door.They make it to the couch that way, Taehyung trailing like a kite, and Yoongi doesn't hesitate to fold Taehyung against his side. He doesn't say anything else as Taehyung cries on him, just strokes his hair and murmurs soothing things deep in his chest. This is the part he's good at, the quiet part, the part where Taehyung feels like he can sit here and heal for the rest of his life.Taehyung wishes he knew how to make himself smaller because Yoongi is the biggest person in the world in everything but actual size."I'm such a bad person," whispers Taehyung eventually, when it feels like he doesn't need the air for himself anymore.Yoongi sighs. "You really aren't. Talk to me."His hand slips into Taehyung's, between his fingers, the way it's always fit there, and Taehyung stares at it while he tells Yoongi the story of the whole night. Not the sunsets and stars he'd been trying memorize but the real things, the true things, the things that mean he's failed in so many ways that he should be canceled from the world.When he recites it, the careful order of events, it doesn't seem like much. It doesn't seem like enough to justify the way his chest is squeezing, the way his hair had stood on end, the acid in his stomach when Seb was touching him. Here in this room it feels so silly, because he's been touched like that a dozen times and he liked it. He doesn't know what happened now that he's trying to explain it, but when he apologizes to Yoongi for being like this, for being so immature about everything, Yoongi's hand tightens its grip."Never be sorry," says Yoongi. "Not for being scared in a scary situation. It's not immature to stay safe, Tae, no matter how you do it. You did exactly what you needed to do, and you got out of there, and I'm going to kill that piece of shit."He sounds like he means it, and Taehyung shakes his head. "You don't have to. He didn't do anything, not really."Yoongi's free hand touches Taehyung's wrist, pressing over it gently, and when Taehyung hisses at a tender place Yoongi growls. "That's something.""But I deserved it.""Don't you dare say that," says Yoongi, fiercely. "You didn't owe him anything.""Not for that," says Taehyung, curling inward. "Seb didn't deserve anything. But for Namjoon. The universe needed to balance my damage. You said I would regret it.""I didn't mean it like that," says Yoongi quietly. He rubs Tae's wrist, avoiding the pain and removing it at the same time. "You made a mistake, Tae. You did, and it hurt someone, and you have to acknowledge that. But you were right that it's college. Rejection happens all the time, and you don't have to hurt yourself to make up for it. You know what you have to do?"Taehyung shakes his head."Learn from it. Be better. It's all any of us can do," says Yoongi."I will. I'll figure out how to be a good person," says Taehyung. "I'll try really hard. I promise."Yoongi sighs. "You are a good person, Tae. I looked in on Jimin tonight, and he told me he's having the best year of his life. Not because of boys and love stories and the freedom of college but because he has you as a friend. That's who you are. You give yourself to people and they give themselves back, and they trust you with their whole hearts. They love you that way too. Everyone always has. Just be more careful, okay?""Okay," says Taehyung, blinking fast to get rid of the tears. "Will you tell me if I screw up again?""Just try and stop me," says Yoongi, and he sounds like he's smiling. He kisses Taehyung on the head, comforting and quick, and whispers, "I'd still choose you, you know. No matter when we met."He says it like it's something he's been thinking about, like it's a penny he's been turning over in his fingers for days, and Taehyung squeezes him hard. There's a long minute of silence, a big silence, a time where Taehyung feels like he might actually break apart, and he knows that they've reached the edge of what they can manage right now. He knows it without words, just by the way that Yoongi's breathing is a little deeper in his chest than usual. The fact that he knows that, that he still knows the outline of Yoongi by feel, is enough for now.So he punches Yoongi in the leg. "Don't make me cry again," says Taehyung. "I haven't hydrated yet."Yoongi whines in fake pain, then says gently, "Do you want to sleep here tonight?""Do I have to wear pants?""Yes. But if you do you can sleep in the bunk with me."Taehyung sits up, grinning even if it doesn't settle quite right on his face yet, and Yoongi shuffles over and grabs another pair of pajamas. They only hit Taehyung's calves when he slides them on, but he thinks he should probably be tactful about that right now."It sucks when your laundry shrinks, doesn't it?" he says sympathetically, and Yoongi's tossed water bottle hits him right in the stomach. "Rude! I was being nice.""You're being a brat," says Yoongi. "Drink that, then climb up. I'm exhausted.""Like that's anything new. You should legally change your name to Exhausted," says Taehyung as he climbs. He squishes up against the wall to give Yoongi plenty of room, then drapes himself over him as soon as he's settled.Yoongi growls, but not very hard, and wiggles Taehyung off. "I'm not a spoon tonight. Sleep.""Okay," says Taehyung. He reaches an arm over again, deftly avoiding Yoongi's swats until he's holding his hand. "Just a hand. That's it. No spoons.""No spoons," says Yoongi, but he says it in a way that acknowledges that Taehyung's going to be around him like a coiled garden hose by the morning. "Good night, Tae."But Taehyung can't sleep, his mind caught on the biggest problem, one he hasn't even let himself think about until now. After hours, or maybe just five minutes, Taehyung whispers, "What am I going to tell Jimin?"Yoongi shifts, because he's still awake, but he doesn't say anything."I told him Seb was going to be his boyfriend. His first boyfriend. And he's such a dick. Jimin's going to cry. Oh my god, what am I going to do when he cries?""You let him," says Yoongi. "As much as he needs.""That douche called Jimin boring," says Taehyung, fully spiraling. "He doesn't like him at all. He was planning to have sex with both of us at the same time, in the middle of an ocean. Who does that? He was supposed to be in love. I thought he was so sweet. But he wasn't. And you knew it already. How did you know?""Well, he plays lacrosse," says Yoongi, the way Jin might try to tell a joke. But Yoongi's no good at it, and he sighs. "But mostly because when we were moving Jin into his place he was being every alpha male stereotype at once. And he talked about you when you weren't around. Your single room, and what it meant about what was going to happen with you. Shit like that. It was pretty obvious what he was about.""Ugh. Why didn't you tell me? I would never have let Jimin pick him if I'd known."Yoongi's thumb rubs over the back of his hand. "He seemed pretty confident you were into him. And you really wanted that single room. I didn't want to get in the way.""No way," says Taehyung. "He was a three even before he revealed his douche nature. No, I just wanted it to be like Jin could come back anytime. I've never had a guy in my room at all this whole year.""What about Hoseok?""Oh," says Taehyung, considering. "I guess maybe someday. I don't know. But it's not like that now."When Yoongi doesn't say anything, Taehyung leans up on his elbow. "Wait, is Hoseok an asshole too? He gets along really well with all of those guys. You have to tell me.""I don't really know him," says Yoongi, shrugging as best he can from a prone position. "I think he gets along with everyone. And he's never said anything bad about you when I was around.""Okay, that's good," says Taehyung, settling back down."Look, when you talk to Jimin, just be honest," says Yoongi. "Be calm and honest and direct. Don't drag it out. No dramatics. Like a band-aid coming off.""I can do that," says Taehyung. "But is it okay if I cry too?"Yoongi chuckles softly. "Yeah.""Good. Also, I figured out how I'm going to be a better person," says Taehyung into the dark. "It just came to me. I'll start studying way more. Go to the library every night, and on weekends. No more parties at all. I won't even make eye contact with someone unless they have at least a 3.5 GPA. I'll definitely be a better person after that. Or at least smarter. I'll start tomorrow.""Tae, there's this thing called moderation," Yoongi begins, but Taehyung reaches around and claps his hand over Yoongi's mouth.This conveniently leaves them fully spooned, and Taehyung smiles as he says, "Shhhhhh. Let's sleep. It's so late, Yoongi."He snuggles into Yoongi's back, and Yoongi only bites his fingers away one time, and eventually they both drift into sleep that's more comforting than Taehyung deserves.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I'm the worst person that's ever existed," says Taehyung. "I should be publicly dragged through the streets."He's sitting on Jimin's floor because he doesn't deserve the bed, and Jimin's roommate Kunal is eavesdropping but it doesn't matter because Taehyung is completely focused on Jimin's face. Jimin's face which is now snotty with both tears and illness, his usual bright smile drawn down into abject sadness, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Taehyung had told him the whole story as best he could, leaving out the mean things Seb had said about Jimin and the scary parts that he doesn't want to think about anymore, but he hadn't spared himself at all in the telling.So they've been crying for twenty minutes now, and Taehyung doesn't know how he could possibly feel worse.He finds out how when Jimin shakes his head. "No you aren't. He just liked you more than me. It makes sense. I'm boring, and you're so much fun, and nice, and really beautiful. You're so much better than me. So I can't blame him…"He trails off, sniffling again, and Taehyung grabs more tissues for himself before shoving the box at Jimin. "No! You're the best. Oh my god Jimin you're amazing. You're so much cuter than me. You're even better looking than Jin. Don't tell Jin I said that but it's true! Right Kunal?"Taehyung waves behind him for support, and Kunal jumps slightly in his chair. "Uh, sure?""Exactly," says Taehyung, blowing his nose. "This guy is just stupid. He's so stupid, and I should have never let you like him. It's all my fault. There were so many cute guys there and I picked the worst one. You should never talk to me again.""But then I'd be even sadder," says Jimin, lower lip trembling. "I love being your friend. You're the best friend I've ever had.""Ah, we're still friends, please don't cry Jimin, please please please!"It doesn't really matter what he says, it seems, because he just makes Jimin cry more, and Taehyung doesn't think he's a good friend at all.Jimin wipes his eyes again. "I can't believe I thought he liked me. I'm such an idiot. He's so hot, and I'm so… me," he says. He looks at Taehyung briefly, then looks down at his comforter. "But he likes you. You should go out with him, if you want. Don't worry about me."Taehyung draws in a horrified breath. "He's the ugliest person in the universe. He has an ugly soul. I'm never even going to say his name. He has no name. He's not even real. We're never going to talk about him again.""But -""Never again!" says Taehyung. He casts around for something else until he hits on the only other topic that's on his mind. "Do you want to go to the library later? Since you're feeling better?""I guess?" says Jimin, blinking wetly at the topic change. "You never go to the library.""That was Old Taehyung. New Taehyung lives at the library. Unless he's hungry, because there's no food and drink allowed.""Okay," says Jimin. He takes another tissue and blows into it. "At least I won't have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of Seb there."Taehyung frowns at the regret in his voice, and the way his small hand shakes as he gently folds his tissue. Apologizing clearly isn't enough. He's going to have to take this to the ultimate level."And you have to pick out punishment clothes for me to wear," he says, nodding vigorously over Jimin's protests. "Yes. You have to. This is the appropriate response for a best friend mistake, which is the worst possible mistake. We have to make things even, Jimin. I love you forever, and we have to."Taehyung stands up and brushes imaginary dirt off his pants, then yanks Jimin up off of his bed. They're both wearing pajamas, and Jimin's hair looks like he hasn't washed it in a year, but it doesn't matter. All of Taehyung's clothes are in his room.Jimin doesn't resist as Taehyung drags him through the halls, heedless of the people who are in their way. He's going to fix this. He has to fix this, because the sound of Jimin being sad is the worst sound he's ever heard. His wrist aches where it's starting to bruise from the railing, but that's good. Yoongi had said he didn't need to hurt, but he's still fiercely glad that he does.When they get to his room Taehyung flops down face first on his bed and says, "Okay, go. You know the rules. Everything in the room is fair game, but I have to be able to legally enter most buildings."It takes a worrying amount of time before Taehyung hears Jimin clanging hangers and opening drawers, and Taehyung relaxes at the sound. This had always worked with Seokjin when they fought, which was rarely, and Taehyung had always ended up very sorry thanks to his eclectic closet and Seokjin's cruelly hilarious sense of humor. Jimin had a lot to choose from."Okay, I'm done," says Jimin's soft, sweet voice, and Taehyung feels clothing hit the bed next to him.He rolls over immediately, already stripping off his shirt, but he stops short when he sees what Jimin gave him."Jimin, these are my best pants," says Taehyung, holding them up. They're red, and fitted, and they make his legs longer and his ass fantastic. He only wears them on nights he definitely wants to hook up, and they've never failed him once. "And my favorite shirt! And really pretty necklaces…"He trails off as he paws through the pile, then looks up at Jimin in total confusion. "This is supposed to be a punishment outfit.""I don't want you to be punished," says Jimin, wiping at his eyes again. "I want you to look good. Because you're always so nice, and you talked to me when no one else would even though I didn't have anything to say, and you bring me oranges and give me perfect birthdays and make me laugh and it's not your fault that a boy doesn't like me. You like me, and that means you should always look amazing. Because you are amazing. My amazing friend.""Oh my god," says Taehyung, his entire chest contracting. "Jimin!"He hitches on the last syllable, starting to sob, and he motions for Jimin to come in and give him the biggest hug he has inside of him. He thanks whatever destiny brought him this soul, because Jimin is so bright. He's the best person in human history, and Taehyung can't believe he found him.Jimin folds into him easily, and he's crying again, and they're both crying all over each other without tissues but it doesn't matter. Taehyung asks Jimin to marry him when they're old, and Jimin says no, but he laughs as he says it, and Taehyung squeezes him more tightly as he yells out his emotional overload. He doesn't know how long they're like that, but it must be pretty long, because when he hears his cracked door open Yoongi's standing in its space with more than a little concern."Someone had a noise complaint," he says with a hint of a question in his voice. When neither of them say anything, he adds, "What's going on?""Jimin wants my ass to look so good," wails Taehyung, burrowing into Jimin's shoulder again."Right," says Yoongi blankly. "Okay then. I'm just going to shut the door.""Thank you," says Jimin, indistinctly from his cuddled position.And before Yoongi goes, he brings them the box of tissues in his hand and pats them both on the head, a single time.It's weird to go to the library in his hookup pants, even more so because no one seems to notice. Taehyung has to go to the bathroom once and do a spin, just to make sure there hasn't been some kind of mistake, but no. They're still really good pants, even under flickering fluorescent lights."Library people are so focused," he whispers to Jimin when he gets back to their table, and Jimin smiles at him distractedly before going back to his book.So Taehyung does the same, going diligently over his list of psychology words. Id. Ego. Superego. Positive reinforcement. The good part about psychology is that it's a lot of memorization and all the answers are the right ones, if he's good enough at arguing for them. The bad part is that it's a lot of sitting still and not talking to people until the part where he talks to people all the time, and sitting still isn't his forte."I have to look for a book," he says eventually, and he gets a dozen dirty looks from the serious students around him which makes him wrinkle his nose. He wanders into the stacks, looking at book spines to see what might be interesting tonight. He flips through a few of them, lips moving as he mouths their lingo to himself, then gets thirsty enough to justify a trip to the water fountain.When he straightens from it, smacking his lips together in satisfaction, he freezes in mid-smack. Namjoon, who's right next to him, waves a tiny wave at his chest."Hi Taehyung," he says, and he gives him a genuine smile that Taehyung feels like a knife in the solar plexus."Hello," says Taehyung. "What are you doing here?"Namjoon furrows his brow. "If you mean on the planet, I'm searching for answers. If you mean in the library, I'm researching my thesis on atomic gas and its evolution into galaxies. If you mean in this hallway, I saw you and wanted to say hi. And get a drink of water."Taehyung's mouth falls open by the end, but he rallies as best he can. "That was very thorough, thank you.""You're welcome," says Namjoon, taking his drink with less outward enjoyment than Taehyung. "How are you?""I've just turned over some leaves," says Taehyung. "So I don't know the answer to that yet."Namjoon smiles, just a turn up of corners, and says, "I understand. You're a psych major, right?"Taehyung looks down at himself, nonplussed. "Yeah, how did you know? Is it that obvious?""Yoongi told me," says Namjoon. "He has a lot of stories about you. Is he here tonight?""Maybe," says Taehyung. "But if he is, he's not with me. And any embarrassing stories he told you about me aren't true. Yoongi's a huge liar, you know."But instead of the laugh he expects, Namjoon just blinks at him. "Really? He's always seemed so honest. I guess it's hard to know anyone's truth without the proper measuring instruments.""I was just kidding," says Taehyung, a little alarmed at Namjoon's sincerity. He can't possibly take another fight with Yoongi this soon. "He's not a liar. If Yoongi ever lied he would probably burst into flame or something.""Oh, I see," says Namjoon, belatedly smiling. "Sorry, people always tell me I take everything too seriously."Taehyung nods, completely agreeing. "People tell me I don't take anything seriously enough.""If you subscribe to a circular theory of the behavioral spectrum, people who take everything seriously and people who take nothing seriously would meet up as the concept loops in on itself. So you and I are the same.""Really?" says Taehyung, looking between them both. Namjoon is wearing his sweatshirt inside out, and he doesn't have even a single ring on his fingers. His skin is the same tone as Yoongi's, like he doesn't get out in the sunshine at all, and Taehyung's still appalled with his weak grasp on sarcasm.But he's smiling big, putting dimples in his cheeks, and Taehyung thinks what the hell, this is new leaf time. "Maybe we are.""Do you want to join our study room?" asks Namjoon. "If you're here by yourself, I mean. You're welcome to. We don't have any psych majors but there's always space for Yoongi's friends.""Oh wow, that's nice of you," says Taehyung, almost meaning it. Despite his new library resolution, he can't imagine anything worse than being trapped in a room with geniuses, but Namjoon is being incredibly civil to him and severely messing with his ideas of universal karma. "But I'm not here by myself.""Ah," says Namjoon, and his smile falters a little. "Jimin?""Yeah," says Taehyung, trying to sound natural. This morning he'd promised himself, and he'd promised Yoongi, that he was done with matchmaking and storytelling, but he hadn't expected the world to test him so quickly. But even if he were still in the matchmaking business, Jimin had spent the entire walk here mourning Seb, and Namjoon didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of any of that. He'd had someone make a really nice note for Jimin, after all.Taehyung doesn't know what a non-love creator would do in this situation, or what the right thing to say is, so he puts a smile on his face and says, "It was really nice to see you, though. Thanks again for the offer. Maybe another time?"Namjoon nods, a little sadly, and Taehyung thinks about what devastation is and wants to light himself on fire. He shuffles away, waving, saying, "Good luck with the dust.""Thanks," says Namjoon, and Taehyung scoots around the corner so quickly he pulls a muscle in his calf.When he gets back to the table, limping slightly, Jimin says in a low voice, "You were gone forever."And Taehyung looks at his still-puffy eyes, and the way his hands are drawn into his sweater like he's protecting himself, and wonders how to be a good person in a world he's already screwed up so badly. "Yeah," he says finally. "I ran into someone in the hall."Jimin nods, and everyone around them glares at his normal speaking voice again, and Taehyung settles in to stare at books for the rest of his life.It's late when they leave, and Taehyung's stomach is ready for greasy food. Health-conscious Jimin is trying to talk him into an evening salad from the cafeteria when he gets a text from Hoseok."Hoseok wants to go get burgers! Let's do that," says Taehyung, texting back an acceptance."That's okay," says Jimin. "I think I'm going to sleep early tonight anyway. I have an exam tomorrow."And Taehyung knows very well he doesn't, because he knows all of Jimin's classwork by heart, but he's tactful enough not to say it. Jimin does look sleepy, but he smiles it away when Taehyung offers to stay with him while he falls asleep."Go out with Hoseok," says Jimin. "He's cute!""It's not a date," says Taehyung. He pauses. "At least, I don't think it is. Do you think it is?"Jimin sighs. "I wouldn't know."Taehyung winces, then forcibly gives Jimin a piggyback ride all the way back to the dorm to make him laugh. They part ways with Jimin's eyes still fully visible even with his bright smile, and Taehyung watches him disappear up the steps with regret. Today was a bad day, vying for the worst day, but it only strengthens his resolve to be better. The library will heal them, in the end.But right now he wants unhealthy food, and he brightens when he spots Hoseok underneath a nearby tree. He makes his way over to him, checking his pocket for his wallet, and he slows when he sees Hoseok gesticulating wildly as he talks to someone around the other side of the trunk. Taehyung's practically on top of them before he realizes it's Jeongguk, though he should have known based on the particular formlessness of his permanent black hoodie."Why are you so stubborn?" says Hoseok, his hands making circles in the air. He's speaking Korean, which feels like riding a bicycle without a chain to Taehyung's brain, but he does his best to listen in."My parents raised me well," says Jeongguk, and Taehyung's startled by the heat in his voice.Hoseok snorts. "All parents are ridiculous, yours included.""You're the one - " says Jeongguk, then breaks off when he sees Taehyung listening shamelessly."What's up?" asks Taehyung in English, blinking at them.Hoseok spins around, a bright smile rising to his lips. "Taetae! Sorry, we were just having a little disagreement. About which Olympics is better. Jeongguk thinks the summer Olympics, because all he cares about is swimming, but I say winter."Taehyung looks between them both. "That's a great question," he says, and Hoseok nods energetically. He stops when Taehyung adds, "For idiots. The summer Olympics are way better. Because they're in the summer."He holds up his hand for Jeongguk to slap, but Jeongguk just stares at him, so Taehyung gives himself a high five."The winter has curling," says Hoseok, "which is unquestionably the best sport out of all of them.""True," says Taehyung. "But it's just one sport. It's like saying a Mexican place is the best restaurant because it's got really good guac. I'll eat the guac happily when I'm there, but you have to show me a full menu. Right Jeongguk?"Hoseok's starts gesturing again. "That's a terrible analogy. Guac is a condiment, and not nearly as important to the restaurant as curling is to the Olympics. Tae, you're cute, but you're no judge of sports."Jeongguk suddenly moves, shoving past them both with his hands in his front pouch. Taehyung falls back, a little startled, but he's trying to be good so he says, "We're going to get burgers! Do you want to come with us? We can keep explaining to Hoseok why he's dumb.""No," says Jeongguk, not looking back as he slouches away.Taehyung sighs. "What do I have to do to get him to like me? It's impossible! And why does no one want to go to dinner with us? We're fun people, right?""Yeah," says Hoseok, a little absently, before he snaps back to Taehyung's face. "I'm kind of glad it's just us, though. Our fun shouldn't be diluted by anyone else."He reaches out and grabs Taehyung's hand, not interlacing their fingers like Yoongi would but like an endless handshake, and tugs him down the sidewalk that will lead them to In-and-Out. Taehyung follows willingly enough, wondering if this is a date, and if he wants to be on a date when he hasn't officially been asked. But he definitely wants a burger, which is enough for now, especially when Hoseok smiles back at him with all of his teeth and says he loves his pants.Unfortunately he turns to Taehyung exactly at the point where Yoongi rounds the corner, and there's a brief moment of confusion when they all run into each other. They sort out their limbs as quickly as they can, made more difficult by the fact that Yoongi's carrying an insane number of bags and Hoseok won't let go of Taehyung's hand."I went to the library tonight!" says Taehyung, holding his free hand up.For the second time he's denied, Yoongi too busy securing his stuff to respond, so Taehyung brings up his still-linked hand and makes Hoseok give him the high-five instead. When Yoongi doesn't say anything, Taehyung adds, "Say you're proud of me.""I'm proud of you," says Hoseok gamely. "Sorry about that, Yoongi, is all of your stuff okay?"Yoongi nods, then looks up at them both. He's a little red and sweaty from the load he's carrying, and Taehyung looks at him with interest. "Did you go to the grocery store?""Yep," says Yoongi. "I was out of some things.""Popcorn!" says Taehyung, touching one of the bags in excitement. "Thank god. I can't come to your room if you don't have popcorn in it. It drains my life force. And La Croix! And Captain Crunch! I love everything in this whole bag. You had such a good trip."Yoongi nods briefly, then glances at Hoseok. "Where are you guys off to?""Fattening food," says Hoseok. "I can hear the French fries begging me to eat them and feel no guilt about it at all.""Do not let me eat French fries," says Taehyung. "I don't have time to go to the gym with my new study schedule."He briefly considers asking Yoongi to join them, but he's got so much stuff, and this might be a date, and Taehyung's also not quite sure how to ask. Yoongi's face looks like maybe he doesn't want to be asked.And Hoseok doesn't ask either. "Okay. If you eat a fry, I'll pinch you.""As long as it's not in the arm fat," says Taehyung. "Jimin is the only one who can do that, and also I don't like it.""Noted," says Hoseok. "Don't worry, I'll make it way more interesting than an arm pinch."But he says it with a silly grin rather than a leer, making pinching motions at cheek level, so Taehyung laughs and pushes him away. "Have a good night, Yoongi!" he says, tugging on Hoseok's hand. He freezes before they get far, turning around. "I'm sorry, did you want help carrying things? You have so much."Yoongi shakes his head, smiling faintly. "I think I can handle the five pounds you'd be able take off my hands."Taehyung gasps dramatically, staggering back like he's been shot. Hoseok throws his head back and cracks up, fist bumping Yoongi on the shoulder and giving him a happy, "Bro!" that gets Taehyung laughing and Yoongi scowling again. He shrugs a goodbye at them, and Taehyung and Hoseok continue their way down the sidewalk."I'm not sure how much money I have," says Taehyung. He's totally lying - he has all of his credit cards and at least twenty bucks - but they're still holding hands and he needs to know what's going on here."Don't worry about it, I've got it," says Hoseok easily, which Taehyung puts into the Date Evidence column. But then he adds, "You can get us the next time," and Taehyung just ends up confused all over again."So how's your teaching certification coming?" asks Taehyung. "You going back to Korea soon?""That anxious to get rid of me?""Yes," says Taehyung, nodding, and Hoseok elbows him."Well you're out of luck, then, because I'm sticking around. I like it here," says Hoseok. He winks, which is still a powerful move to Taehyung's mind. "Sun, surf, and sexy guys. It's heaven, as far as I'm concerned.""Spoken like a true rich kid," says Taehyung, but he makes sure it's not mean.He and Hoseok haven't talked about themselves much, preferring the sort of light-hearted banter that keeps things easy and risk-free, but he knows that Hoseok's life is driven by a trust fund that has enough money that Hoseok won't even talk about it. Taehyung hasn't pushed him to, though he has figured out that Hoseok doesn't quite have the money to keep, yet, based on the number of times he's complained vaguely about being denied his freedom."And hey, what do you mean guys?" Taehyung asks, emphasizing the s.Hoseok hums and doesn't respond, and Taehyung pokes him in the shoulder until they get to the glass doors of the burger place and the food smells so good that Taehyung no longer cares if they're on a date or not. It's late enough that there's not a huge crowd, but there's always a line and Taehyung starts listing everything on the menu that he wants to eat, which is basically the entire menu. Hoseok humors him, taking fake notes on his phone as Taehyung lists his preferences.By the time they get their food and sit down, Taehyung's practically drooling, and he tears away the little paper sleeve like a lion ripping through a gazelle. When he shoves the burger in his mouth, Hoseok stares at him in awe, and Taehyung chomps messily as he grins."Your jaw practically unhinged," says Hoseok, impressed."I'm good at eating," says Taehyung, but it comes out like mush. He swallows and gets ready to try again when a familiar shape catches his is eye. "Jeongguk!"Jeongguk looks up from a nearby table and raises his eyebrows. When Hoseok turns, Jeongguk bares his teeth in a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Hello."He takes the last bite of his burger, his third by Taehyung's wrapper count, chewing it with menacing intensity. Taehyung wants to take a drink of his lemonade, but he can't bring himself to move. He thinks if he does, Jeongguk might take his arm off before he got the cup to his mouth.But instead he just smiles again when he's done and pushes back from the table. "Bye."He leaves, and Hoseok watches him with an irritated look on his face. It's a foreign expression, one that Taehyung wouldn't have even been able to picture on his usually merry features, and it's also scary. Everything's a little scary right now, and Taehyung wonders if he'd slipped into some kind of alternate reality where everyone is the opposite of what he thought without noticing. Maybe that's what happens when you go on yachts."I guess he did want a burger," says Taehyung, trying for a laugh. "Just not with me."Hoseok doesn't even sort of smile. "Guess not."Taehyung finally takes a drink, then says, "I really don't get him. He's so rude, for no reason, even though I've been nothing but nice to him. It's so annoying.""Yeah," says Hoseok, finally looking away from the door. "I've tried to get along with him, too. For Yugyeom, you know? But he's obnoxious. And he likes to piss people off. It's like his hobby.""Yoongi likes him for some reason," says Taehyung, stealing a fry."I've noticed," says Hoseok. "Guess Jeongguk thinks he's useful to him in some way.""Yoongi has good snacks in his room," says Taehyung. "And Jeongguk uses his computer sometimes.""Typical," says Hoseok. He frowns at his food, then visibly pulls himself together. "Anyway. I'd much rather talk about you than him any day. You're going to the library now? What's up with that?"Taehyung sits up. "I'm turning into a better person.""Is that even humanly possible?" asks Hoseok, his mouth curved up cutely. "Let's try not to break reality."Taehyung motions for more compliments, stealing another fry."You're up to two pinches," says Hoseok. "Luckily you have two cheeks. Symmetry.""Only the face cheeks," says Taehyung quickly. His shoulders tighten without his permission, and Hoseok seems to register it by the way he settles back in his seat."Of course," says Hoseok. "Until you ask me, anyway."He waggles his eyebrows and digs into his own meal, and Taehyung relaxes. Hoseok's not a bad guy, even Yoongi had said that, so Taehyung leans back, eats his food, and earns a few more G-rated pinches before the end of the night.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I want bulgogi," says Taehyung, slamming his fist down on the table. They're ringed around a table in the middle of Koreatown, as promised, on the wonderful heartwarming friend trip that Yugyeom had organized with his tireless energy. "Right now. Jin, you're paying, right?""Absolutely not," says Seokjin. "You stole shotgun from me in my own car. I'll pay for everyone but you.""But I get sick in the backseat," says Taehyung. "Plus, you should have been driving the car anyway. It's yours."Yoongi clears his throat. "I wanted to survive the trip, thanks all the same. Jin driving and you navigating has almost killed us a dozen times, and Jimin's too young to die.""Whatever, our road trips are always so much fun," says Taehyung. He turns to Hoseok and asks, "Was your car fun?'"Not really," says Hoseok, looking at Jeongguk and Yugyeom. "But it was peaceful.""Things have never once been peaceful for me since I introduced these two to each other," says Yoongi. "Biggest mistake of my entire life by far."Taehyung kicks him under the table. "No, your biggest mistake was the time in middle school when you bought a dozen chain necklaces, started wearing pants that were so big you could fit inside a single leg, and told everyone that you were a rapper. You looked like an advertisement for one of those cash-for-gold places."Jimin laughs, which is the first noise he's made since they all got there, and Taehyung pats himself on the back mentally and physically."This is so great," says Yugyeom, beaming around the table. He's in between Jeongguk and Hoseok, with Yoongi on Jeongguk's other side. Taehyung had fought a hard battle with himself about who to sit next to before he'd decided that Jimin needed cool older guys Yoongi and Seokjin today and claimed the seat between Seokjin and Hoseok instead. He misses Jimin, and he keeps reaching across Seokjin's lap to squeeze his arm, but even Taehyung has to admit the trip, on the whole, is pretty great.Until Yoongi says, "We should be speaking some Korean, right? Be authentic.""No don't!" says Taehyung, but it's too late because the rest of them nod agreeably. He promptly loses track of the conversation as Hoseok launches in to some story about his teaching days, and Taehyung scowls at Yoongi.Yoongi just grins, picking up the menu, and starts discussing their order with Jeongguk in his own suspiciously good Korean. Taehyung picks up enough of it, since it has a lot of food words, and he says, "I want bulgogi," again, but this time much louder.They ignore him completely.Seokjin puts his arm around him and leans over. "So," he whispers, thankfully in English. "What do you think?"He nods at Yoongi and Jeongguk with exactly no subtlety, and Taehyung shakes his head minutely. "I'm not allowed to matchmake anymore," he whispers back. "It's my Halloween resolution.""You don't have to do anything," says Seokjin. "I'm going to do the tests. You just have to observe the results. Look how close they're sitting. Yoongi obviously picked his spot for a reason. Plus he's wearing cologne, I smelled it in the car. This is happening.""It is not happening," says Taehyung, rolling his eyes. "You're sitting basically on top of me, does that mean you're in love with me?"Seokjin nods and pulls him closer. "Yes. Don't tell Todd.""Don't be weird. And Jeongguk doesn't like me, which means that Yoongi wouldn't like him, because Yoongi likes me the most," says Taehyung in the tones of a man laying down a royal flush. "So you're wrong.""Well that's just insulting," says Seokjin. He switches to Korean as he calls across the table, "Yoongi, do you like me or Taehyung the most?""Whichever one of you is farther away from me at the time," says Yoongi, smiling to himself, and Seokjin immediately begins an offended lecture about respect for elders. Taehyung just sticks his tongue out because that's easier than talking and lets Seokjin do the scolding for both of them. He's a great scolder, and his voice gets more and more high-pitched as he goes, so by the end of it the entire table is laughing, including Seokjin.Yugyeom wipes his eyes and says, "You're so funny, hyung. You were always the funniest person in the dorm. We really miss having you around. Jeongguk is funny, too, he's always making everyone laugh, but it's not the same without you."Seokjin looks at Jeongguk, who'd laughed along with everyone but hasn't said an single word, and says kindly, "I'm sure Jeongguk is doing great as my replacement. You traded me in for a younger, hotter model. Right Yoongi?""Jeongguk is a good addition to the building," says Yoongi, looking at Seokjin suspiciously. "We're glad to have him.""Thanks, hyung," says Jeongguk, smiling.Seokjin pinches Taehyung's knee meaningfully under the table, which he returns more fiercely, which escalates silently until the waitress comes to take their order, at which point she falls desperately in love with Seokjin and he forgets all about Taehyung under her attentions.The rest of the table hits a lull within Seokjin's inattention, and Hoseok goes back to English as he says, "So, Jeongguk, how's swimming going?"Jeongguk's smile falls away like it had never been and he grunts, "Fine.""No more medals? Personal bests? Sponsorship offers from sportswear companies?" asks Hoseok. "Your parents must be disappointed."Yugyeom jumps in, nearly choking on his water in his haste. "Jeongguk is going to be in the USC sports brochure! For recruiting. They picked one person from all of the teams to represent them and they thought Jeongguk was the best. And they're going to put him on the cover!""Not just me. Four other people, too," says Jeongguk, toying with his chopsticks.But his attempts at modesty don't matter at all as the table congratulates him like he just won an Oscar, Yugyeom leading the way. Taehyung joins in, but it's a little distracted as he studies Jeongguk's face, trying to figure out if he's brochure cover material. He is, Taehyung eventually decides, once you take off all the clothes to mask the scowl."Wow, I guess we'd better cherish this dinner while we can still have it. You'll be too famous to talk to any of us soon," says Hoseok. "Can I get an autograph?"Jeongguk shakes his head, but Seokjin takes up the thread. "I can't believe we have a model in our midst! I thought I'd be the first one to be famously handsome, but alas I settled for love and domesticity instead. What about you, Jeongguk? Any young ladies or old men on your horizon?"He caps his question with a thousand watt smile, and Taehyung stomps on his foot. But Seokjin on a mission has laser focus, so his smile doesn't move at all as Jeongguk reddens so much that even Taehyung can't deny it.Jimin sits forward for the first time. "You do have someone! Did you come to USC for love?""Or perhaps love found him once he arrived," says Seokjin archly. "Thoughts, Yoongi?""I think if you're going to hit on a nineteen year old at your age, you should do it better," says Yoongi. "The problem with being handsome is that you never develop any actual flirting skills. You've been coasting your whole life."Seokjin starts yelling again, this time more genuinely offended, and Yoongi makes a bring-it-on gesture that only annoys Seokjin more. Taehyung leans around him to give Jimin a commiserating look where he's stuck between them, but Jimin is too busy laughing at the two of them to notice. So Taehyung turns back to Hoseok and Yugyeom, who are once again using Korean, and tries to improve his listening skills instead.Eventually the food comes, including the bulgogi, and everyone's too busy eating to say much of anything. Taehyung busies himself putting food on Jimin's plate, who in turn piles it carefully into Yoongi's plate, until Yoongi starts complaining about how much food he has and how he can't finish it. This prompts Jeongguk to eat directly from Yoongi's dish, which delights Seokjin to no end, and Taehyung suddenly finds himself being fed by Hoseok without any warning at all.But he's not complaining, because it's way less work for him. He just passes more food to Jimin and smiles whenever he gets an annoyed look. Jimin seems happy, just quiet, and Taehyung thinks he should have been more selfish and sat next to him to make sure he had someone talking to him at all times. He looks at Yoongi with his best puppy dog eyes, and Yoongi immediately leans over and starts asking Jimin about his upcoming dance team exhibition with intense interest. He even puts some of his food back on Jimin's plate insistently, and Taehyung beams.When the meal is over, Taehyung very convincingly pretends he doesn't have his wallet, which Seokjin doesn't believe at all but he still pays for Taehyung with muttered swearing about his shamelessness. They thank the restaurant owners on the way out, who call them all very handsome boys as they go through the door. Yugyeom starts to suggest that Jeongguk could do some advertising work for them, if they wanted, until Jeongguk shoves him out of the restaurant with an embarrassed laugh.They arrive on the sidewalk in a pile, where dusk is just starting to hit, and there's a moment of confusion when they all realize they haven't planned anything else. Yugyeom starts to talk to Hoseok and Jimin, but Taehyung can't pay attention to what they're saying because Yoongi flicks his eyebrows in his own request for conversation."What's up?" he says, wandering over and putting his chin on Yoongi's head just because he can.Yoongi pushes him away, rubbing at his nose where it had smashed into Taehyung's neck. "First, ouch. Second, do you want to hang out? We haven't done a movie night since school started.""Ooooh, movie night," says Taehyung. "Can I invite Jimin? He's still a little sad, and I bet he'd love to do face masks with us. He's got a ton."Movie night and face masks had been a tradition ever since Yoongi had taken his high school trip to Seoul and come back with a rigorous skincare routine his cousin had sworn by. And once Yoongi's skin started to glow like less deadly radiation Taehyung had begged him for the secret, and they'd done their sessions over so many movies that now Taehyung can hardly put moisturizer on his face without wanting to turn on a film.Even when Yoongi had gone off to college for those long years, they'd still called each other and watched a movie in tandem every once in awhile, refreshing their pores together. Seokjin had joined them basically without permission, hanging out in the room with Taehyung on speaker and some blockbuster in the background. And once Taehyung had moved in they'd all done it in person, Taehyung and Seokjin in their most opulent robes and Yoongi in flannel pants and a t-shirt where he sat between them.But Yoongi had gotten so busy lately, and they'd been so angry with each other, and now it's been months since they've taken a horrifying selfie of themselves getting beautiful skin. He's missed it, a lot, and he's glad Yoongi brought it up. And while he knows Seokjin will bail on them, because he'd announced a dozen times during dinner that he couldn't wait to get home and give his boyfriend his very own Korean meal that night, Jimin will be a fantastic replacement."Jimin?" asks Yoongi. He pauses, for the smallest hint of a moment, then says, "Sure. Jimin can come. And you can pick the movie."A smile spreads across Taehyung's face. "I can pick the movie? You never let me pick the movie! You must miss me so much.""I do not," says Yoongi, crossing his arms. "It's just that the masks have an expiration date, and I don't want to waste them.""Oh my god, I haven't been in your room all week, have I?" says Taehyung, completely ignoring him. "I'm so sorry, Yoongi, I've let you be disaffected and grouchy without any relief. I've taken away your sunshine! I'm going to have to be extra cheerful to make it up to you. We need to watch a musical."Yoongi wrinkles his face up into a ball. "I don't want to watch a musical.""But you said I get to pick! And you want me to be happy, right?""Nope."Taehyung grins. "Yes you do. Say it. Say I'm your sunshine on a cloudy day.""Tae," says Yoongi threateningly, but there's a little smile on the corner of his mouth. A baby one, because Yoongi's mom had started this tradition, and Yoongi knows what's on the horizon.Taehyung takes a deep breath and sings, "When it's cold outside, you've got the month of May."Seokjin looks up from his sexting with Todd, grinning wickedly as he joins in on the next line. "I guess you'd say, what could make you feel this way?"The "Taehyung!" chorus comes strong, Seokjin and Taehyung each taking an shoulder and giving in their best, and Yoongi tries to get away but not very hard, settling into their joint embrace with a reluctant smile as they wind their way through the rest of the modified lyrics.Everyone applauds them when they're done, including some of the strangers passing by on the sidewalk, and Seokjin and Taehyung drag Yoongi into multiple bows before he squirms away for real."You should take that on the road," says Hoseok. "So we're heading to a club I know about. 18 plus, so no IDs needed, just dancing shoes. Want to come?"He indicates Yugyeom, Jimin and Jeongguk, who look ecstatic, thrilled, and indifferent in turn."Oh," says Taehyung, looking at Yoongi."I know you can't," says Hoseok to Seokjin. "You have an appointment to get your ass eaten until you cry. Yoongi and Taetae?"Jimin and Yugyeom turn bright red, and Seokjin abandons them to interrogate Hoseok about how much sex he'd heard them having, exactly, when he'd been crashing at their place. Amusing as his pointed questions are, Taehyung looks at Yoongi, trying to figure out his mood."You should go," says Yoongi quietly. "You love dancing.""I love movie night, too," says Taehyung. "And my face needs moisturizing. It's like a desert."Yoongi runs a finger across of the bridge of his nose, recoiling like it's a hot stove as soon as he does. "Sandpaper," he says. "But we can do movie night anytime. Go out. Have fun."Taehyung frowns. "You could come too.""Nah, I'm too old for clubs. I'll get some sleep," says Yoongi. "Seriously, go. Be a carefree college kid for a night. You've been at the library all week.""Okay," says Taehyung. "But I'll be really responsible, I promise. Only a moderate amount of fun, and no love stories."Yoongi smiles crookedly. "Sometimes love stories sneak up on us. You haven't given Hoseok a number yet, right?""Yeah, well," says Taehyung, looking over at Hoseok where he's still complaining about thin walls. "Jin says he thinks I'm the greatest.""Good taste," says Yoongi. He scratches a hand across the back of his head, looking at the window displays across the road, then shakes himself. "Hey Jin! Let's go."Hoseok stops mid-exaggerated sex noise and turns towards them. "You're not coming?""Not tonight," says Yoongi. "Maybe next time.""Definitely next time," says Hoseok firmly. "That makes me the hyung now, doesn't it? Ugh, I'm getting old. All right, babies, let's get going.""You're only twenty," says Yugyeom cheerfully."Twenty-one," says Hoseok, frowning. "And don't talk back to your elders. Bye guys!"Seokjin wanders over and says to Yoongi in a low, amused voice, "I can get myself home if you want to go. Aren't you a little curious about Jeongguk's legendary dance skills?"Taehyung waits for the answer, not sure what he wants the answer to be, holding a hand up to the others when they call for him. But Yoongi only shrugs and says, "Not like I'd be able to find out from the couches. Come on."They walk away with waves at two different energy levels, and Taehyung heads to the club with his strange entourage in tow. He drinks the virgin drinks and dances with everyone, especially Jimin, who seems happier under the lights and the noise than he's been since the doomed yacht party. Jimin's always most alive when he dances, and a lot of guys check him out, and Taehyung has to forcibly stop himself from trying to maneuver Jimin closer to them as they move.Hoseok helps keep the mood up too, his inexhaustible energy bouncing between everyone without stopping. Taehyung would bet he never stops moving at all, and they do their fair share of dancing together when he makes the stop on his lap. It's intimate, but not too much, and Taehyung likes the way it feels to have Hoseok's hands on him, gentle and undemanding. He dances like a gentleman, at complete odds with the innuendo in his voice and the heavy flirtation of his texts, and Taehyung's not complaining about gentlemanly behavior right now. Hoseok may think he's the greatest, and he may like his hookup pants, but he seems more than pleased to smile at Taehyung and not kiss him at all.Maybe that's what a one is, he thinks. A man who waits until you're sure.And Taehyung's not sure if he's ready to find his one, so he doesn't dance with Hoseok too much, even when Hoseok cheerfully tells him that Taehyung's the best dancer in the place. And of course that's a lie, because Jimin's better, and annoyingly Jeongguk is too, but Taehyung takes the compliment before he pulls Yugyeom out on to the floor for own his brand of nerdy dancing.Not that he cares. Yugyeom's having the time of his life, and he's better than Jin at least because he never once makes Taehyung do the Sprinkler, and when Jeongguk joins in with them he actually smiles at Taehyung a couple of times which is a victory beyond anything he'd expected.Eventually Jimin and Hoseok crash into their circle, whooping and hollering, and Jimin's smile is enormous and Taehyung's heart is light, and he thinks inside of his secret heart that the library could never, ever be as good as this.Two weeks later he gets an emergency text from Seokjin and sprints over to their apartment immediately."Who's dead?" he asks when he gets inside, not even bothering to greet him. "You said someone died."Seokjin rolls his eyes. "No, I said that you should get over here ASAP because something terrible happened.""Right. Which means death. Did you kill them?" asks Taehyung. "Oh no, it's Todd, isn't it? Some sex thing gone wrong and now we have to dispose of the body and go Thelma and Louise. I call Louise.""That's ridiculous. My sex things never go wrong," says Seokjin. "And the terrible thing involves you, not me. Hoseok's leaving town."Taehyung blinks. "Oh. Okay. Back to Korea?""Napa," says Seokjin. "To his parents' place. But we don't have time for backstory, he'll be here soon. Todd's bringing him over before he hits the road, and he really wanted to say goodbye to you.""Really? Then why didn't he text me instead of you?" asks Taehyung, checking his phone."Too stressed," says Seokjin, not at all convincingly. "Look, I know you guys have been in pre-courtship for months now, but he can't just leave with all of this unresolved sexual tension in the air. It will give me hives."Taehyung crosses his arms. "I'm not having farewell sex with Hoseok like he's going off to war.""Then just have sex with him like a normal person? Or at least kiss him a few times. Put him out of his pining misery.""I'm still evaluating his level. Plus, why would I kiss him when I might never see him again? That's the worst idea you've ever had."Seokjin hums. "Might not be my idea, once he gets his last look at you. Ah, here they are now."The door opens, and Todd and Hoseok come through with a hurried step. "Hey baby," says Todd. "Hoseok's about to get going but - oh, hi Taehyung! How are you doing?""I'm good," says Taehyung. "Though Jin just told me the very sad news. We're losing you?"Hoseok isn't smiling. He hasn't smiled at all since he stepped in the room, and he's never looked so angry in all the times Taehyung's known him. His fists are clenched at his sides, opening and closing rhythmically like he's thinking about punching something but hasn't decided what yet. When Taehyung tries out his own smile, Hoseok's eyes slide off of him vacantly. Not like he's angry at Taehyung. Like he's angry at something that can't even be seen.He also doesn't answer, so Todd says, "Yeah, he's heading home. It's a bummer. But hopefully he'll be back soon."He claps Hoseok on the back, and Hoseok shakes his head. "I honestly have no idea. But I wanted to thank you guys for letting me stay here at first. And extra thanks for helping me pack my stuff up, man. You're a good friend."They exchange a complex handshake, and Hoseok's crossing the room to give Seokjin a similar treatment when Seokjin steps back. "Oh, I'm sorry! I know you're in a hurry, but Todd darling, I need you to come and help me move the armoire in our bedroom. It's too heavy.""Um, right now?" asks Todd."Yes," says Seokjin meaningfully. "It will probably take fifteen minutes or so. Can you wait, Hoseok?"Hoseok looks over at Taehyung, who's trying to murder Seokjin with his mind, and a ghost-smile makes it to his lips. "I can wait."Seokjin tugs Todd back to their bedroom quickly, and Taehyung sighs. "Sorry about him.""No, I'm the one who's sorry," says Hoseok. "I wanted to come and say goodbye to you, too, but I'm on a schedule."Taehyung shakes his head. "It's really okay. Unless you were going to stop late night texting me as soon as you cleared the city limits, in which case you're so rude that I can't believe I'm still talking to you."Hoseok chuckles lightly. "Nah, I still haven't collected all of my emojis from you yet. Don't think I haven't been counting.""So are you okay?" asks Taehyung.He doesn't know if this is anything between them, or what number Hoseok might be, but they're definitely friends. They've spent enough time together for that, to be serious with one another when they need it. Enough time that Taehyung cares about the fact that the permanent lights aren't in his eyes anymore.Hoseok rubs his nose, thinking, then blows out a breath. "I guess you have the right to know. Assuming you haven't already figured it all out with your natural nosiness, anyway.""You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not nosy at all.""Liar," says Hoseok, but he's smiling again. "You just think Jin will tell you later."Taehyung grins, shrugging, and Hoseok huffs a laugh. "That's what I thought. But you should hear it from me. So my parents and I don't get along, really. I mean, they're fine I guess. My grandparents run a winery, and they have a bunch of money, and my mom helps them run it and my dad plays golf, and they gave me a good life and everything. They're not bad people. But they're always testing me. Trying to get me to prove my worth to them. They think I'm lazy."He chuckles. "They're right, I guess. But college didn't really agree with me, and I didn't want to be working at the family business anymore either. I wanted to travel. Find something I loved. But traveling takes money, at least the kind I want to do, and I have a trust but it's not mine until I'm twenty-five. My parents control the withdrawals, and they said they wouldn't pay for me to go anywhere unless I was working or studying."So they suggested Korea, in a way that wasn't really a suggestion, and I agreed just to get away. And I liked teaching, actually, way more than I thought I would. After I was done for the year, I wanted to come back to the States for more schooling, to try to get more formal education than I had, and they thought that was great. It was the closest we've ever been to getting along."The problem is, I was supposed to go to Austin, but I wanted to come to LA. But I knew they'd never agree to the change, not with how shallow the city is, so I made arrangements without telling them. I sublet the place they'd leased for me, took the money and came to USC. It was all great, until they decided to surprise me with a visit and found out I was never there."Taehyung bites his lip. "Oops.""Yeah, oops," says Hoseok wryly. "So they're pissed, and they think I've been screwing around here, and I'm officially that guy who gets grounded at twenty-one. And I have no money of my own, so I'll be stuck at home until they decide to release me. Which won't be for another four years, knowing them."He starts to pace, running his hand through his hair until it sticks up at crazy angles. It's still orange, flashy and eye-catching, but it's redder than it used to be. Like Hoseok's anger is changing it from one thing to another."I was so close," he says, and now it sounds like he's talking to himself. "So close to working everything out. And now who the fuck knows what's going to happen?"Hoseok looks back to Taehyung, his face creased in frustration, his eyes dark and closed off. "Anyway, it's not much of a story, but that's it. That's my life. And I have no idea if I'll be back. So if you're ever in Napa, come see me I guess.""Can I get a free glass of wine?""For you, I'll give you a whole bottle," says Hoseok, smiling faintly again. He's handsome, even now, even with this new sadness inside of him. "Anyway. Now you know some of my secrets. You'd better appreciate it. I don't share with many people, but you're pretty special, Tae."Taehyung crosses his arms. "I'm very special. And I want all of your secrets, not just some.""Maybe someday," says Hoseok.He moves across the room and pulls Taehyung into a hug that goes on for a long time. Taehyung folds up against him, too, trying to see inside of himself to know if this is love. Pre-love. Something that could be love, with the right soil and care. He doesn't know, he can't even begin to guess, but Hoseok's arms are strong and nice, and he settles against him more fully as the seconds tick past.When Hoseok speaks again, his voice is a little scratchy. A lot more serious than his usual light-hearted tones. "I'm really sorry, Tae. I'll miss you, you know.""I'll miss you too," says Taehyung. He wonders if this is the part where he should kiss him. But it doesn't quite feel like the part, so he doesn't. "But hey, we'll still text all the time. Your parents won't take your phone away, right?"Hoseok laughs and pulls back, wiping at his eyes. "I wouldn't put it past them. But don't worry, I'll get a contraband one if I have to."Taehyung grins. "Of course you will. Hey, did you want me to say goodbye to Yugyeom for you? Give him a hug or something?""Oh, no," says Hoseok. "It's fine. I found him earlier, to let him know. I thought I owed it to him, you know?""He gets really upset when things change without warning," says Taehyung knowingly, and Hoseok nods.Seokjin and Todd emerge from their bedroom and finally give Hoseok their own goodbye hugs, and Hoseok sketches them a quick salute as he heads out the door to his car. Seokjin comes up behind Taehyung and puts his arms around him, hooking his chin on Taehyung's shoulder. "He's totally gone for you," he says. "That lingering look hit my very soul. Do you like him?"Taehyung shrugs."You do," says Seokjin. "It's all over your face. Ah Tae, all I ask is that I'm in the wedding, okay?""Sorry, Todd moved up the rankings when he killed that spider for me last week. He bumped you off my groomsman list."And that gets Seokjin on a rant about the injustice of arachnophobia and subjective ranking systems, one that has Todd laughing and apologetic in equal parts. They get so caught up in each other that Taehyung can move to the couch and curl up in thought without any interruption at all. He reaches up to touch his face, and wonders what's on there to get seen by other people without his permission.
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"I want my forehead to be exactly the same as a baby's butt," says Taehyung to the ceiling from his place sprawled across the entire couch. Seokjin's spy thriller choice drones away in the background, continuing to be the worst pick in the world. They should have gone for a musical."In look or in feel?" asks Yoongi from his feet, because he'd lost the coin flip.Seokjin's face above him just looks annoyed. "I'm trying to watch a movie here."Taehyung points at Yoongi, then Seokjin. "Both. And this movie is so boring. It's a bunch of sixty-five year old British guys with the same haircut whispering in the shadows and I don't know who is who.""It has Colin Firth!" says Seokjin. "You like him.""I like Mr. Darcy," says Taehyung. "Is he being Mr. Darcy? No, he's not. I'm getting sleepy and sad. Next time we watch Little Shop of Horrors."Yoongi shakes his head, looking like a space alien with the tightness of his mask. "Vetoed. I'm not getting any more morning texts that say 'Feed me, Yoongi' and that picture you made of a Mario piranha with your face.""If you would just bring me breakfast in bed like you should, I wouldn't have to suffer through opening my eyes to look for my phone," says Taehyung. He kicks his feet on Yoongi's lap. "Rub my feet, please."When Yoongi grumbles and complies, Taehyung sighs happily. "I love movie night!"His phone buzzes on his stomach and he lifts it up to check the screen, laughing lightly at Hoseok's pathetic selfie and pleas for rescue. He's heard from him more since he left town than he did when he was here, and Taehyung's starting to think Seokjin is right about Hoseok's undeclared love for him. And Taehyung's been listless since he left, too, the world taking on a slightly duller cast, the usual rhythms of life not being so interesting as they'd always been. He'd even fallen asleep before midnight a couple of times, which was practically a sign of decrepitude.So he guesses he must be in love, too. It's an interesting feeling, especially with a guy he's never kissed, and one that he plans to explore more fully.He sends back a picture of himself with a peace sign next to his face mask, and Hoseok immediately replies, Hot. Which is another reason they are probably in love."Is that Jimin?" asks Yoongi. "Tell him to come over, if he's back.""It's Hoseok," says Seokjin gleefully, ruffling Taehyung's hair. "Our baby is sexting right in front of us. He's getting so shameless without my moderating influence."Taehyung glares at him. "I'm not sexting. And it could be Jimin, you don't know."Seokjin straightens up loftily. "I have a finely tuned emotional apparatus that can detect blossoming love from up to five hundred yards away. Nothing can hide from my gaze, and all of your secrets are open to me. It's how I knew that Todd worshiped the ground I walk on before we even met, it's how I know why Yoongi's been distracted all night, and it's also how I know that your heart is currently beating in Napa. Don't test me."Yoongi's hand stops moving, but before he can say anything Seokjin adds, "I can also see your phone screen, you dork. Have you been texting him a lot?""Yep," says Taehyung. "He's lonely, so I'm keeping him up to date on what everyone's up to. And the sports things that he wants to know. He says he misses you guys, and good luck on your test tomorrow, Yoongi.""Tell him thanks," says Yoongi. "And I'm not distracted, for the record.""It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed about it," says Seokjin. "Jeongguk is hot, and I'm speaking as an expert in hotness. I'm very happy for you that you're having impure thoughts again after so long. Have you even had sex this year? Kissed someone? Been on a date?"Yoongi's eyebrows draw together as best they can. "I just doubled with a girl from my Kinetics class. Her boyfriend's best friend. It was good.""Oh my god that was like, the second week of classes," says Seokjin. "No wonder you're so thirsty these days.""I am not," snaps Yoongi. "Just because you can't go ten minutes without getting your dick out doesn't mean we all can't.""If I can say something," says Taehyung, pausing in his transcription of the argument to Hoseok. "No one is currently rubbing my feet."Yoongi starts in again, muttering about how he hadn't even invited Seokjin, and he sounds a little too angry. Like maybe something about this is real, and Taehyung looks up at him curiously. "Do you like Jeongguk?"There's a long moment, longer than Taehyung thought there might be, and Taehyung's stomach sinks. It would suck if Seokjin was right about something. Lucky Guess Seokjin was the very worst kind of Seokjin."Jeongguk is a good kid," says Yoongi. "He's been nice to have around, he's a quiet studier, and he's focused and driven.""Deflection City, here we come. Witness, please answer the question," says Seokjin.Yoongi glares at him, and Taehyung wiggles his toes in the new silence. When Yoongi looks down, his eyes soften, and Taehyung gives him his best pleading face."But he's too quiet," says Yoongi. "When he talks he's interesting enough, but he hangs back and waits for you to speak to him first. I like people who are more positive, I guess. Have more life in them. He's great as a friend, but I wouldn't want to date him."Taehyung smiles up at Seokjin triumphantly. "Ha! I told you," he says. "Yoongi likes me the best because I'm positively the loudest.""I prefer a happy medium, actually," says Yoongi, but he's smiling so Taehyung doesn't listen to him at all.Seokjin rolls his eyes. "Whatever. You have a secret, Yoongi, something going on inside that guarded heart of yours, and I'm going to figure it out. My love-detector is unbeatable!""Your love-detector is non-existent. You'd still be wondering if your frat boy even knew your name if it weren't for Tae."Taehyung lets them argue some more, smiling as he types a quick update to Hoseok. Yoongi doesn't have a crush on Jeongguk!Good. No one should have a crush on Jeongguk, says Hoseok in reply, and Taehyung laughs.He keeps half of his attention on Seokjin and Yoongi, stoking their argument gently whenever they're starting to wind down, and the other half on Hoseok, and all in all he's feeling very good and not at all sleepy any more.When he looks up in the middle of Hoseok's newest dramatics about his house arrest, Yoongi's staring at him thoughtfully. Taehyung raises an eyebrow, not that Yoongi can really see it, but he seems to perceive the question nonetheless."This movie sucks," says Yoongi. "Want to put on Grease?""Yeah!" says Taehyung, rolling off the couch and tossing his phone away. "Jin, will you sing the Sandy parts?""Sure, baby," says Seokjin, smiling fondly.And by the time Jimin makes it back, sweaty and exhausted from practice, Taehyung has an empty Pringles can to his mouth and his hips gyrating wildly as he dances his way through a high energy song. Seokjin's collapsed on the couch, laughing hysterically, because Yoongi's shuffling next to him after liberal begging, and Jimin barely has time to start smiling before Taehyung yanks him into their party for the rest of the night.Taehyung wears an entire tuxedo to Jimin's dance exhibition, including a real bowtie that he spends twenty minutes figuring out with the aid of a Youtube video. When he meets Yoongi in the dorm lobby, a Yoongi who's wearing faded jeans and a plain black long sleeve shirt, he does a spin for effect then tugs his fitted jacket down."What in the hell is that?" asks Yoongi. "And don't say it's a tuxedo. I know it's a tuxedo. I mean why are you wearing it?""Because this is an important occasion, and also I look fantastic. Plus I had a coupon for that rental shop next to my favorite candy store. And I really needed some gummi worms, so two birds with one stone! I'm so efficient these days."Yoongi's fighting a smile, but he gets it under control as he says, "Do I need to change?""No way," says Taehyung. "You look perfect. You look just like you.""Like me?""Comfortable," says Taehyung.Yoongi squints down at himself. "Is that good?""It's great," says Taehyung, steering him towards the exit. "You're making me look even better by comparison.""Now the truth comes out," says Yoongi. "If Jimin gets upset that I'm not dressed up enough, I'm blaming you."Taehyung laughs. "Jimin never gets upset about that stuff. Come on, we have to get really good seats."Yoongi tries to tell him the seats are already assigned, but Taehyung's not interested in absorbing that information as he power walks in his tux. He gets a lot of appreciative comments on it and himself inside it, and he grins into them all as hard as he possibly can. And if Yoongi notices that they take a really long way around to avoid going near the fraternities, he doesn't comment on it.He does comment when Taehyung reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bag of gummi worms. "I can't believe you have any left.""I got a lot of them," says Taehyung. "Even I can only eat so many worms in one sitting. Want one?"Yoongi takes a green and red one and rips its head off viciously, keeping a totally straight face while Taehyung cackles."That's so gross," he says admiringly, then does it himself, chewing with cow-like thoughtfulness as they walk. By the time they get to the small theater, his jaw and cheeks ache in equal measures from the food and the smiling. And the sugar.The ticket taker who greets them has an amazing rainbow-patterned headband in her blonde hair that Taehyung wants so badly he considers trading some gummis for it, but in the end he can't bear to part with them. For her part, she smiles at him hugely and says, "You're the best-dressed guy I've let in tonight.""I know!" says Taehyung, spinning around."You should be a model," she continues, looking him over more slowly, and Taehyung nods."I definitely should be. Also I'm gay!"Her smile doesn't dim, but it changes into something less interested. "My bad. You're lucky," she adds to Yoongi, who's still chewing and nearly chokes at the direct address."He is," says Taehyung, grinning and throwing his arm around him. "I gave him so many gummi worms."They finally make their way past, heading into their third row seats that Taehyung had made sure to get for maximum friend support, and he pages through the program flier eagerly. It's only four pages, so it doesn't take long, but he points at Jimin's name and elbows Yoongi. "Look, it's Jimin!""Wait, Jimin is in this? Why didn't you tell me a thousand times a day, every day, just in case I forgot? Oh wait."Taehyung huffs a breath. "You are so unfunny. Do you even know what a joke sounds like? Here I'll tell you one. Knock knock."Yoongi looks around like he hasn't heard him."If you don't answer the imaginary door I'm going to throw eggs at it.""If you don't answer the imaginary door I'm going to throw eggs at it who?" says Yoongi, blinking.Taehyung makes a noise like a teakettle boiling over and goes back to his program with furious concentration."That was a terrible joke," says Yoongi. "It didn't even make sense.""Your face doesn't make sense."Yoongi laughs at that, annoyingly, and Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him."You look really good tonight," says Yoongi, when he's done laughing.He says it simply, like it's an obvious next step in their conversation, and Taehyung's brain trips over itself on its way to finding an answer. To his horror, he feels his cheeks getting red, and he pats his pockets suddenly like he's forgotten his car keys or something. He doesn't even have car keys."No knowing comment about how you're gorgeous? No smug agreement?" asks Yoongi. "Wow. I never thought I'd see the day."Taehyung's fidgeting moves to his hair, which he starts patting down haphazardly. "You've never said I look good before, so I thought you had a tragic eye disease. I'm just so happy it's finally cured that I can't speak."Yoongi settles back in his seat as the house lights go down. "Maybe you've never looked good until today.""I always look amazing," whispers Taehyung as the music starts, and Yoongi shakes his head and watches the stage.Jimin is, without a doubt, the best dancer who's ever existed on any plane of existence throughout all time, and Taehyung leads his immediate area in a standing ovation when the show is over. He'd tried to lead one after Jimin's solo but Yoongi had clung to him like a pygmy marmoset to a branch until he had to sit down or lose his rented sleeve. But Jimin sees him as he bows at the end, and Taehyung whoops in excitement, and Jimin's happy, sweaty smile is very good.They wait for him out in the lobby, or Taehyung does while Yoongi takes his pea-sized bladder to the bathroom, and Taehyung waves at everyone who tells him he did a good job up on stage, thanking them graciously as he adjusts his bowtie. He even happily takes a program from one very confused girl who blushes heavily when she asks for an autograph. He signs Jimin's name and sends her on her way with a big thumbs up and an even bigger smile.As she sidles away, even redder, Taehyung's spots a tall, slightly hunched figure standing against the wall and freezes. He thinks he shouldn't do anything, but Namjoon's looking right at him and he knows Taehyung saw him, so he puts a smile on his face and heads through the crowd."Hello," says Taehyung. "Welcome to the show.""Thanks," says Namjoon, looking at his clothes. "Were you in it?""In a technical sense, no," says Taehyung. "But what's a show without an audience? You could argue I had the most important role of all.""I do sometimes wonder if the stars bother to shine if we're not observing them," says Namjoon. His voice is soft and modulated as always, his glasses slipping down his nose a little, and his paisley button-up shirt is off a button, like he'd gotten dressed in the dark. Or it's fashion. It doesn't really look like fashion.Taehyung decides to be generous. "I like your shirt!" he says. "How did you like the performance?""Oh," says Namjoon, jerking a little in surprise from where he'd been scanning the crowd. "It was good. Talent as a phenomenon is both inexplicable and enjoyable.""You bet," says Taehyung. "Inexplicable and enjoyable, that's what I always say."Namjoon brings his hand up, a hand that he'd been obscuring behind his back, a single red rose clasped inside of it. The thorns must be killing his palm, is the first thing Taehyung thinks, but that's quickly overtaken by the mixed joy and terror he feels on Jimin's behalf. He runs through a thousand scenarios in his head without meaning to, then shakes his head, then nods his head, then doesn't know what to do at all.He still doesn't think Namjoon will make much of a boyfriend, but a flower after a performance is more than enough to get him in the running as far as Taehyung is concerned. Not that he's going to get involved."Jimin was good," his mouth says without his permission, and Taehyung looks around to make sure Yoongi didn't hear him.To Taehyung's surprise, Namjoon's expression doesn't change, except perhaps to deepen its furrows."Um," says Taehyung helpfully.Dancers start to pour out of the backstage area, getting a new round of applause and some hugs by the people closest to them. Taehyung doesn't see Jimin, but Jimin is short, and anyway he's got half an eye on Namjoon whose hand tightens around the flower."Do you know about quasars?" says Namjoon. It's a very quiet question, under the noise."Is that Star Trek?""They sit at the center of entire galaxies," says Namjoon. "They're the brightest things in the universe that we've ever found. We still don't understand them, but we can see them. Study them, at least a little, even though they're very far away. For now, at least. In four billion years, we'll be right next to one, when we crash into Andromeda."Taehyung's eyebrows lift high on his forehead, and he says, "Cool?"Namjoon sighs. "Four billion years is a long time.""It is!" says Taehyung, glad to finally know the right answer."I'm thinking about changing my thesis," says Namjoon.He's back to making no sense, but he doesn't even seem to be talking to Taehyung anymore, more to something inside of himself. Taehyung stares at him, trying to figure out how to talk about something that he can follow when he hears Jimin's unmistakable laugh float above the crowd. Namjoon snaps to, his face breaking into panic, and he shoves his rose into Taehyung's hand."Tell him congratulations," says Namjoon, pushing away from him quickly, his paisley shirt disappearing out the door.Taehyung watches him go, hand stinging from those thorns that definitely hurt, and he doesn't have time to say that he's not allowed to tell Jimin things anymore. Not about stuff like this."Did you steal that?" asks Yoongi, poking at the flower when he materializes at Taehyung's shoulder. "You can't steal flowers from people's bouquets.""It's impossible to steal a flower because it can't be owned," says Taehyung. "It owns itself. But also I was given this freely, thank you very much. And it's for Jimin. Hold it please."Yoongi takes it reflexively, then hisses at it pricks him, but Taehyung is already turning smoothly to catch a running Jimin and give him a huge hug. "You did such a good job!" says Taehyung. "Honestly I think dancing has reached its peak for eternity. And I really liked the part where you did this."He lets go of Jimin and spins frantically with his head tilted back, crashing into the wall when he looses his balance."But you did it better," he continues. "So much better. I loved it. Elementary school would have been great with you as a teacher.""Thanks," says Jimin, laughing into his hand. "And thanks for coming. You didn't have to dress up so much, though."Taehyung looks down. "Is it bad?""It's just a lot.""I am a lot," says Taehyung firmly. "You said that, and I am. Right Yoongi?"Yoongi nods without hesitation. "Definitely. Nice job, Jimin, that was really great. I don't know anything about dancing, but you made it look both fun and easy which is impossible."Jimin laughs again, then looks at the flower. "Is that for me?""Oh," says Yoongi. "Yes. Here. Be careful, it's a little thorny."He thrusts it out like it's a dead fish, and Taehyung rolls his eyes. "You're so bad at giving things. Anyway, Jimin, this is very important okay? Listen to me."Jimin takes the flower, smelling it happily, then tilts his head up to Taehyung. Taehyung, who is no longer matchmaking in any way but still has to discharge his sworn duties, leans down and says in deep, solemn tones, "Congratulations.""You're so weird," says Jimin, his eyes crinkling. "Do you want to come get food with everyone?"Taehyung bites his lip. "I'm kind of full of gummi worms, is it okay if I just watch you guys eat?""Of course," says Jimin. "They're going to love you. And you," he adds to Yoongi.Yoongi puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs. "I'll come. But just so you know, Taehyung always says he's going to just watch you eat but then he eats all of your food, so order extra."Taehyung shrugs. "It's true," he says, before kicking Yoongi in the shin. "But stop telling people all of my tricks, that's rude. Magicians never reveal their secrets.""I'll pay for you," says Jimin, linking their arms together and guiding them towards all of the other dancers, Yoongi limping behind. And for the rest of the night Taehyung uses all of his newly memorized dance words at random, and eats off of everyone's plate, and makes as many friends as he possibly can.Jimin abandons them for a secret dancer's afterparty, and Yoongi and Taehyung walk home under the night sky. The stars aren't there now, at least not to his true vision, but Taehyung sees them with his mind's eye. The last time he'd looked at them threatens to overwhelm him, in that scary place he doesn't want to go back to, and Yoongi reaches out and grabs his hand without him even asking.When Taehyung looks at him Yoongi's staring at the horizon, but he squeezes Taehyung's hand and it feels really good."What's Andromeda?" asks Taehyung.Yoongi's forehead wrinkles. "You're going to have to be more specific.""If I could be more specific, I wouldn't have to ask," says Taehyung. "It's going to crash into us, if that helps.""Oh," says Yoongi. "It's another galaxy. The one closest to us. The Milky Way is going to collide with it a really long time from now. You could see it in the sky if there weren't so much light pollution.""Wow. What's going to happen when we hit it?"Yoongi chuckles. "I don't think anyone really knows. They'll merge together, I guess. Make a bigger galaxy or something. Change gravity and rip all of our planets away from the sun.""Oh. That's a lot to think about," says Taehyung thoughtfully. "I'll learn some words about it tomorrow. Like quasar."Yoongi nods, though he looks a little confused. "So did you have a good night?""I had the best night," says Taehyung. "Thanks for not making me study.""You know I don't actually study all the time, right?""I see through your lies," says Taehyung. "You do flash cards in your sleep.""I have fun sometimes," says Yoongi under his breath.Taehyung smiles. "Only when you're with me."Yoongi looks like he's going to argue, then relaxes. "Yeah."They fall into silence for the rest of the walk, Taehyung still thinking about galaxy collisions and gravity ripping things away while Yoongi thinks about whatever's weighing him down tonight. Flash card thoughts, maybe, from the look of concentration on his face. They don't drop their hands, and Taehyung thinks this really is the nicest night he's had in a very long time.When they get back to the dorm Taehyung lets go and reaches into his pocket. "I have two more worms," he says. "Do you want one?"Jeongguk runs directly into them before Yoongi has a chance to answer, and being run into by Jeongguk is no small event given his muscle mass. He looks up from his phone, startled, and he has a huge smile on his face which is all the encouragement Taehyung needs."Hi Jeongguk," he says cheerfully. "Would you like a gummi worm? You can have Yoongi's."Yoongi rolls his eyes as Jeongguk demurs, then takes the worm and puts it in his hand. "Eat it.""Thanks," says Jeongguk, still smiling as he chews. His phone dings, and he goes back to it, typing furiously, then laughs to himself.Taehyung narrows his eyes, scenting mystery. "Who are you talking to?""Someone on Twitter," Jeongguk says evasively."Wait, you have a Twitter? Why aren't you following me?" asks Taehyung. "I post really cute animal pictures.""That one's actually true," says Yoongi. "It's a solid Twitter."Jeongguk doesn't answer, still staring at his phone with a huge grin on his face. Taehyung shares a perplexed look with Yoongi, who just shrugs and looks a little amused himself.Taehyung's phone dings, and he pulls it out to see a message from Hoseok asking what he's doing in his greasiest Grindr way. It's a standard opening line, and as always Taehyung answers it very literally.
Reading a text from you and chewing candy and standing next to Yoongi watching Jeongguk be really weird on his phone.
Weird how? asks Hoseok.
He's smiling a lot. And laughing! Out loud! I think he's been replaced by an alien.
Nice. Hey, send me a picture of you guys. I haven't had human contact outside of my parents for a week now.
"Hoseok wants a picture!" says Taehyung. He grabs Yoongi before he can flee, squeezing him in between himself and Jeongguk. Jeongguk's huge muscles and Taehyung's desire to be as big as he possibly can makes Yoongi squeeze even smaller, like the tiniest goblin, and Taehyung puts his cheek on the crown of his head."Say cheese!" he yells, smiling at the camera. Yoongi throws a peace sign with no expression at all, and Jeongguk is still smiling unnaturally widely, looking surprisingly happy to be in a picture with them. Taehyung snaps a shot, then studies it intensely to make sure he looks as hot as humanly possible. Which he does.Jeongguk's typing again, but Taehyung says, "You look really cute, Jeongguk.""No," says Jeongguk. "I look strange in pictures.""Not this one. I'm really good at pictures. Yoongi looks great too! I should change majors."He sends it off to Hoseok, getting the expected, Hot in return, and Hoseok doesn't say anything else so Taehyung turns back to Yoongi. "Want to watch Netflix?"Yoongi shakes his head. "It's late.""And you have to study," says Taehyung with heavy meaning, grinning when Yoongi spins around and leaves in a huff. "They don't give any higher grades than A-plus you know!"Taehyung laughs when Yoongi flips him off and goes into his room, then looks at Jeongguk. "Guess it's just you and me. Do you like scented candles?"Jeongguk smiles distractedly and walks away without saying anything, and Taehyung frowns as he suddenly realizes he's alone. He sighs, checking the time and seeing that it's too early to go to bed if he wants to retain any kind of coolness.Not that studying is much cooler, but at least he'll get a job out of it someday. He comforts himself with that thought as he climbs the stairs sadly and settles into his room with textbooks that don't talk back to him at all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I wish I remembered what fun is like," says Taehyung from his place on the common room floor. He's spread eagle on his back, everyone else studying at the table above him, though Jimin keeps taking breaks to try to convince him that the carpet is too disgusting to lay on.Taehyung thinks the carpet reflects his mood."Do Saturdays even exist? Can people laugh? Does college mean anything but reading?" he continues dramatically. "In this episode of Taehyung Is Dying, we won't answer these questions because we don't even understand what they mean.""Halloween was three weeks ago," says Yoongi, not looking up.Taehyung sighs. "Halloween is not fun. Halloween is like a job interview with a more difficult dress code. And I didn't even win best costume."He regrets complaining as soon as there's an eager inhale from the table. "Jeongguk's costume was so amazing," says Yugyeom cheerfully. "He looked just like Tracer! And he's just as fast. But you got second, which is really good.""I still don't even know what a Tracer is," says Taehyung, even though they'd explained it to him a hundred times and he couldn't possibly forget the pain."An Overwatch character," says Yugyeom helpfully."She can rewind herself through time," says Yoongi. "And she has these bombs that are really annoying."Taehyung sits up on his elbows and stares at Yoongi, smacking his calf when he doesn't notice."What?" Yoongi says irritably. "Jeongguk's been showing me how to play."Jeongguk looks up from his book, though Taehyung's almost positive he's actually scrolling through his phone, and says, "You're getting really good, hyung.""If you turn him into some kind of e-sports fanatic I'll never forgive you," says Taehyung. "I can't get him to go outside as it is.""We went to the park to see dogs this morning," says Yoongi. "That literally just happened."Taehyung ignores him and falls back on the floor to explore his angst. "Fun is a lie told to us by the government. I need Hoseok to come back, he knew how to have fun.""Jeongguk's parents will be here next week," says Yugyeom. "We're going out to dinner with them! You can come.""Oh, um," says Taehyung. "I wouldn't want to interrupt your family time."Yugyeom nods. "That's nice of you. But they're going to be here through Christmas so we'll have plenty of time together don't worry!""That's good then," says Taehyung, at a loss for what else to say. He looks at Jimin helplessly, who puts his scissors aside. His studying actually looks kind of interesting, because he's cutting colored shapes out of construction paper for mysterious reasons, but it's still studying in Taehyung's book."We did all of those tests in the psych building last week," says Jimin encouragingly. "They paid us! And I learned a lot about my implicit biases. That was fun.""Jimin, that was school," says Taehyung sadly.He's saved from having to explain the difference between school and not school again when Seokjin strides into the room. "Calm down everyone, I know this building just blew through its handsomeness quota but you'll all make it through.""Jinnie please help me," whines Taehyung. "I'm dying of cataclysmic boredom.""Perfect, come to Todd's party tonight.""A party?" says Taehyung, rolling over and jumping up. "Yes! I love parties! Is it at your house? Did you get rid of all of the wicker?""There is not that much wicker," says Seokjin. "And no. It's at the frat, and you're all invited!"Yugyeom gasps happily, but he's the only one. Jeongguk sits in his usual silence, totally unimpressed, and Taehyung freezes, his eyes darting between Jimin, who's suddenly smaller, and Yoongi, who has a new line bisecting his forehead and no other expression. It's obvious they're all thinking about the same stupid person, and the same stupid face, and Taehyung tries to wriggle away from the thought as best he can without actually leaving the room.Seokjin puts his hands on his hips. "Excuse me, I said you're all invited. And it's going to be a great party, not that anyone asked. You have three hours to prepare yourselves.""Jeongguk and I will be there, right?" says Yugyeom, extracting a nod from his cousin. "I've never been to a frat party before, is there anything special I need to do?""Nope," says Seokjin. "Just come ready for enjoyment. Tae? Jimin? You in?""Oh no," says Taehyung, putting a big frown on his face. "I have an emu appointment tonight, I can't go.""Okay, it's not an 'emu appointment', you're not even saying it right. And also, I invented that," says Seokjin. "So why don't you want to come?""It's not that I don't want to," says Taehyung quickly. "It just that I can't? For scholarly reasons. I'm being very scholastic these days. And also Jimin needs me for the emu thing.""Jimin?" says Seokjin, turning to him slightly, and he turns it into both an expression of skepticism and an invitation at the same time.And Taehyung can see the entire debate play out in Jimin's mind, how he doesn't want to go but thinks Taehyung would want to, and that Taehyung is sacrificing himself to make Jimin happy, and the total guilt that begins to consume him with that knowledge. Taehyung tries to beam a telepathic wave to him that says Taehyung wants to go to the frat not at all but Jimin doesn't receive it because he says, "Sure, a party sounds great."He's smiling but he sounds like he's walking to the guillotine.Taehyung's about to drag him into the hall to explain that he really doesn't have to do this when Yoongi says loudly, "I'll be there."The entire room falls silent, including Seokjin, who'd been clapping happily at Jimin's acceptance. When Taehyung shifts focus, Yoongi's sitting like a stone, totally unbothered, like they're not all staring at him like has an extra head. He straightens his notecards and adds, "It sounds like fun."But right after he says it he flicks a glance at Taehyung, and it knows too many things. It knows that Jimin is doing this for Taehyung, so Taehyung will have to do it for Jimin. It knows that Seokjin will never give up, ever, until Taehyung has to do exactly what he wants. It knows that Taehyung feels fingers on his chest, and an ache in his wrist, and the memory of kissing too many people.But the most important thing that it knows is that Taehyung never needs to worry about being scared, if Yoongi's with him."Fine, I'll cancel the emus," says Taehyung, smiling against his will when Seokjin gives him a huge hug."I knew it," says Seokjin. "Hell yes. Okay Tae, let's go get ready."Taehyung looks down at himself, his stretchy jeans and oversized sweater, and says, "I can go like this.""Absolutely not," says Seokjin, dragging him to the door and calling back to the group, "Meet back here in three hours, everyone!""Jin, I don't want to be sexy," says Taehyung, pushing him away irritably. "I want to just be normal.""You should have been born with different bone structure then," says Seokjin. "Now stop, or I'm going to screw up this eyeliner."Taehyung doesn't stop, pushing him away even harder, then running across the room and smashing his face into his pillow. He's already suffered through Seokjin putting him into tighter and tighter clothes, avoiding the red hookup pants but now stuck inside a loudly patterned button-up and black skinny jeans that he'd had to basically roll on. Admittedly his lower body is impressive, and the huge boots he's wearing make him feel powerful, but he's going to get noticed a lot tonight.He doesn't want to get noticed."Kim Taehyung, you get over here right now and get sexed up," says Seokjin. "We haven't even sprayed the blue into your hair yet, and it needs time to dry.""No blue hair," says Taehyung, muffled with the pillow. "Go make Jimin sexy. I just want to dance, it doesn't matter what I look like.""Kim Taehyung!"It's his most dom voice, one that probably gets Todd trembling, but Taehyung just twists his head to glare at him. "That doesn't work on me."Seokjin's face immediately changes from commanding anger to abject pain. "Please, Tae?" he says, tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes, one spilling artfully down his cheek. "I just want you to look almost as good as I do tonight.""You're a sociopath," says Taehyung, sitting up reluctantly. "I hate that you can cry on demand.""Takes one to know one," says Seokjin. He holds up the eyeliner pen, then sighs when Taehyung doesn't move. "Fine. I'll tell you why you need to look hot. But you can't tell anyone, okay? It's a secret."Taehyung brightens, scooting to the end of the bed. "I love secrets! And I've never even talked to another person in my whole life, so I'll definitely keep it.""You have to act surprised."Taehyung raises his eyebrows and gasps dramatically like he's just walked in on an alien eating his beef jerky."Not that surprised," says Seokjin, rolling his eyes. "But fine. Hoseok is going to be there. He's back in town, and Todd's going to bring him.""Oh," says Taehyung, cocking his head to the side.Truth be told, he's barely thought about Hoseok these last weeks, except to mourn the loss of his energetic fun. Their text conversations had faded into intermittent memes and vague pleasantries as the days turned into weeks, and he hadn't felt the need to keep them moving in any particular direction. But he had kept their love story on pause, just in case it came back around someday, so he hits play again happily. "That's great!""It's fantastic," corrects Seokjin. "And he wants it to be a surprise. Really wants it, to the point where he practically threatened my life if I told anyone, but he's in love with a stubborn jackass so I guess I'll die tonight. But I'm still going to make that stubborn jackass gorgeous so that the pictures in his future wedding scrapbook are hot as fuck, because that's the kind of giving person I am. Now get back over here before I run out of magnanimity."And as he says it Taehyung sees the future stretching out in front of him, the decades-long story of their perfection, where Hoseok returns to him after pining in exile, smartphone technology the only link to sustain them. They'll kiss, and Hoseok will confess, and the night will be spent falling into a love without ending. It's smarter than Cinderella, more beautiful than Ariel, and less villainous than Sleeping Beauty, shining in his vision like a beautiful dream.Because it means no more overeager text flirting, no more emoticons, no more pretense and artifice and sleek lines. It means something real for them both to hold, sitting on ratty couches during thunderstorms and watching Netflix movies and sneezing all over each other when they're sick.He considers the story as it solidifies, turning it over inside his mind to find holes. There are none. It's smooth and unbroken, exactly the way these things always go, and if he can't quite see Hoseok inside of its machinery it's just because he's still surprised that it's happening at all. When he's there, when Hoseok is smiling at him with all of his teeth and his heart in his eyes, everything will click into place.Probably."I'll be sexy for Hoseok, I guess," says Taehyung. "But I'm going to wear a different pair of pants. These are fucking pants, not love pants.""In my experience, they're the same thing," says Seokjin.Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Which is why you don't get to be a Disney movie. Now stop being horny and get me ready to be loved."Jimin holds his hand so tightly that Taehyung is pretty sure at least two of his fingers have fallen off unnoticed, but that's the kind of sacrifice he's willing to make for Jimin. Yugyeom's carried the conversation on the walk to the the frat, so thankful to Seokjin for the invitation and Taehyung for lending him a cool shirt and Jimin for showing him a few dance moves before they left that he can't stop mentioning his gratitude.It's given Taehyung a good excuse to fall behind with Jimin, to keep squeezing his hand, to make sure that his breathing stays steady, if shallow. It's given him an even better excuse not to throw up about having to suddenly be in love tonight."You look really good," Taehyung whispers as they turn the last corner. "I like your sweater."Jimin smiles wanly, his heart clearly not in it."If you want to go, you tell me," says Taehyung. "Or Yoongi. You tell one of us and we'll go. Promise me, okay?""I promise," says Jimin in a small voice, squeezing him again, and there's no more time for anything else because they're at the lawn and an orange-haired boy is streaking across it to greet them, smile bright as the sun."You made it," screams Hoseok, laughing wildly, getting distant people laughing from sheer infectiousness. "Surprised?"Taehyung pitches his face somewhere around "found twenty bucks on the sidewalk" level and he sees Seokjin nod approvingly. But it couldn't matter less, because Hoseok is spinning around, staring at all of them in turn like he's been gone for years instead of a month. Taehyung lets go of Jimin's hand, a Jimin whose surprised face isn't at all faked and is darting little glances at him with a true smile teasing his mouth, and Taehyung wipes his palms down on his shirt.He'd never expected to be doing this in front of quite so many people, but he's ready.Hoseok gives a big hug to Yugyeom, including Jeongguk in it in his exuberance, then bounces to Seokjin who not-so-subtly shoves him towards Taehyung with so much force that Hoseok nearly trips over himself.Taehyung smiles hugely as Hoseok catches himself adroitly, turning it into a sort of dance move that looks pretty good. Seokjin throws his arm around Yoongi and a suddenly present Todd and makes annoying awwing noises, but Taehyung tunes him out. Instead he stares at Hoseok's eyes, trying to figure out if he's still in love with the beautiful sprite that is Kim Taehyung.It's almost funny how quickly it becomes clear that he's not. "Taetae!" he says happily, a big smile across his face. A big, default smile, one that's capped with a swift pinch of Taehyung's cheek. "You look fantastic."And that's all there is before he turns to Jimin and tells him the exact same thing, calling him Chimmy, then bounding back to Yoongi for a fist bump session that Yoongi is clearly uncomfortable with. The whole time Taehyung stares at him, a little bemused, even more so when he goes back to Yugyeom and starts steering him into the party like he's the guest of honor.Jeongguk trails behind them, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, and Seokjin drags Yoongi over with a puzzled look on his face. "That was… strange. What does the cheek pinch mean?"Taehyung laughs because what could it possibly mean? Hoseok is a flirt, and he's not at all in love, and Taehyung finds himself almost relieved at the lifted pressure. He happily slides the Robin Hood fox back into his proper home in his brain, then says, "It's our secret signal, Jinnie. The love signal. It means we're going to be together for the rest of our lives."Seokjin looks at him like he's not sure if he's kidding, which makes Taehyung laugh even harder. He's still laughing when Hoseok calls back to them, yelling that Taehyung needs to get his ass on the dance floor or he's calling the police, and Taehyung takes Jimin's hand again and pulls him up the paved drive to the doorway that suddenly has a much less terrifying night inside of it.Taehyung really does love to dance, and he never finds himself short of partners. The party has the sort of generic hip hop club mixes that he likes the most, and he goes hard whenever he has the chance, loving his times with Hoseok and Jimin, who can keep up with him, and laughing through his times with Yugyeom and Seokjin, who definitely can't. Jeongguk and Todd occupy the middle places, both too jock to really let go in either direction, but they're nice bodies and Taehyung will take what he can get when the bass is so intoxicating.He also stays on low-level Seb watch, always looking for dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a cat-cruel smile, but to his relief he doesn't seem to be at the party at all. It's too much to hope that he got sucked into a hell dimension to have his bones chewed into dust by fire dragons, but as the night goes on Taehyung gets more and more optimistic about it.His Yoongi watch is more medium-level intensity, because Yoongi is wearing his snapback and sportswear outfit like he could fit in with the jocks but he also very clearly doesn't want to from the way he constantly finds the darkest corners to lurk in. Taehyung doesn't even try to get him to dance, knowing that battle was lost in utero, but he does try to steer him towards people to talk to so he doesn't hang out on his phone all night drinking a cheap lager like a weirdo.The snapback does help, because it means people give him the jungle juice instead of PBR.When he finally finds a small group of acceptably serious-minded partygoers and Yoongi's finished his first drink under his watchful eye, Taehyung turns back to the dance floor and looks for his next target. Jimin is smooshed between Seokjin and Todd but he seems happy about it, and Yugyeom has terrifyingly found a girl who seems really into him for reasons passing understanding and Taehyung isn't about to mess with whatever college-level alchemy is happening there. He doesn't see Hoseok anywhere, and when Seokjin sees him looking he mouths Kitchen, making lewd hand gestures that don't even make anatomical sense.Taehyung shakes his head but doesn't fight it, because once Seokjin gets an idea in his head, it's impossible to shake. But Taehyung could use some water, and a bathroom, so he goes off deeper into the frat house that he only partially knows the layout of. He's been here before, he's pretty sure, but they all start to look the same after awhile.When he opens up another door that he hopes is a bathroom, or a way to Narnia, it turns out to be some kind of storage room instead and he sighs with disappointment. But before he closes the door he hears a voice say from behind the racks of paper towels, very loudly, "I said no."And that makes his blood run cold, because it sounds very much like Jeongguk.Taehyung bursts through the door in his best superhero fashion, sweeping around the shelving unit and trying to channel Iron Man, but he stops short when he sees Hoseok and Jeongguk. Jeongguk has his arms over his chest, and he doesn't look happy but it's pretty much his usual look, while Hoseok's orange hair is sticking up all over the place from his constant energy sweat. No crimes are being committed, as far as Taehyung can discern, but they both stop talking when they see him."Tae!" says Hoseok, smiling a little too big. "Welcome to the supply closet.""Thanks. It's well-stocked, isn't it?" says Taehyung, looking between them both.Jeongguk blows out a breath, then says in rapid Korean, "If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions. If you don't care what people want, then stop pretending to. It's insulting, and obnoxious, and… and ridiculous. Come back when you're ready to stop being a complete dickhead. Which will probably be never, given your history."Taehyung blinks as he storms past them both and into the hall, then says, "Um, everything okay?""Just great," says Hoseok, eyes hard. "Never better. Love being yelled at for trying to do the right thing, it's my favorite activity.""Well, you picked a good place to cry if you need to. There's so much toilet paper in here."That seems to bring Hoseok back into the room, and his shoulders loosen as he chuckles. "God, if I cried every time some stubborn asshole yelled at me, I'd lose my beautiful complexion. Come dance.""We really don't have to," says Taehyung quietly. "Sometimes it's okay not to dance."Hoseok grabs his hand, and it feels so much like Jimin in the way that it squeezes, in its absolute desperation, that Taehyung's eyes widen in shock. But Hoseok's sunny smile is back, the one that's perfect and vibrant and, Taehyung's coming to realize, completely fake."That's against my religion," says Hoseok. "It's never okay not to dance. Let's go."He pulls so hard that Taehyung has no choice but to follow or lose his own arm, and they wind back into the hall and away from the kitchen and toward the pounding music and sweaty crowd again. Taehyung falls into it willingly enough, but he's watching now, and he sees the strain where Hoseok is trying very, very hard to have fun. And some of that effort involves Taehyung, involves touching him and grinding into him and giving him bedroom eyes that would be sexy as hell if they weren't completely devoid of life.No one else is picking up on the effort, from the way Yugyeom shoots him a thumbs up and Seokjin starts taking pictures, but Taehyung doesn't have time to care about that. This is what Hoseok needs, it's clear in his tight grip on Taehyung's neck and the fierce way he closes his eyes to sink into the music, and Taehyung will do it, if it's for his friend.But it's in the middle of this movement therapy that Taehyung looks across the room and sees Seb.Seb doesn't see him, or if he does he doesn't care to look. Instead he's got his arm around some guy, a hot one, but he looks pretty much like a prop to Taehyung's eyes. And that wouldn't matter at all, he'd welcome it in fact, except that they're right next to Jimin. And Seb definitely sees Jimin.Taehyung keeps dancing, but he stares at the hard curve of Seb's mouth, the same cruel look he'd had on his stupid yacht when Taehyung had been very alone. Just like Jimin is now. And Jimin has his arms wrapped around his waist, getting small, and Seb's friends are with him and they're laughing. They're laughing really hard, and Taehyung doesn't know that it's about Jimin. It might not be about Jimin at all, except that Jimin won't move, and his face his something pinched and painful, and if it's not about Jimin it will be soon. And Jimin is frozen like a deer, and Hoseok is still gripping Taehyung so hard.He's about to rip himself away, because Hoseok might need him but can't possibly need him quite so much as his best friend, but before he has to Yoongi slides into view, directly behind Jimin, and wraps a hand around his waist. He doesn't even look at Seb and his friends, who are somehow closer, like an optical illusion that's terrifyingly real. Instead he whispers into Jimin's ear and makes him smile, then tugs him towards the dance floor without even a little look back. Seb says something to him, loud enough that even Taehyung can almost hear it over the music, but Yoongi's very good at being deaf.And when he gets Jimin out on the floor, he's very good at dancing, too.Usually when Yoongi goes out with them, he doesn't dance at all. In those rare cases when Taehyung begs him so hard that he has no choice but to join them, he dances with his irony level turned up to eleven, weird little moves and robot arms and enormously silly gestures that keep everyone laughing but require no actual skill. It's familiar, from school dances to crowded clubs, and Taehyung's so used to it that he could describe it to a police officer and get a perfect witness identification score.So it's like falling into a looking glass to see Yoongi smoothly move into Jimin's rhythm, keeping him grounded, turning him carefully away from the still-watching Seb who looks just as cruel but isn't smiling about it anymore. Jimin starts to loosen up inside the beat, not exactly happy on his face but lightening his posture at least. Eventually he goes boneless and sexy, and Yoongi follows him, and they look hot enough together that Seb finally turns and leaves, taking everyone with him.Yoongi and Jimin keep dancing, and Yoongi looks over at Taehyung for a brief minute when Jimin executes a flawless drop. When he sees Taehyung looking he smiles, and Taehyung grins back, and he's never felt safer than he does in this moment, knowing that Yoongi's not only watching over him, but watching over all the people he loves just as carefully.The party is just reaching its peak when Taehyung thinks he's ready to leave. He's spent plenty of time dancing, gotten well-hydrated, located the bathroom, spent some hilarious time out on the lawn in the chilling air talking to Seokjin and Todd about how to get some color back into their house over Seokjin's annoyance, met up with a lot of people from his classes and a few people from Jimin's dance group, and he hasn't kissed even a single person.Hoseok finally seems calm enough to be a regular person again, and if he's been a little clingier with Taehyung than usual, Taehyung's willing to allow it given the fact that he's fighting so hard to be himself. He's also been glued to Jimin at Taehyung's request whenever needed, scaring away potential bullies with enthusiasm and dancing with him nonstop to keep Jimin focused on the things that matter, which are that he and Hoseok are extremely gorgeous when they move together. It's a show that almost everyone watches, and applauds, and Jimin's smile had slowly come back from its buried place until his eyes disappeared into his face once more.So Hoseok isn't in love but he is a lovely person, and Taehyung is glad to know him. And when Taehyung says he thinks he's ready to head out Hoseok returns the sentiment, kissing him sweetly on the cheek instead of pinching him and saying, "You're a good egg, Kim Taehyung.""Yes, I'm egg-cellent," he replies, making a mental note to tell that one to Seokjin later, and Hoseok laughingly agrees as he melts into the crowd.Taehyung looks around for Jimin and Yoongi and sees Jimin with Yugyeom and Yoongi with Jeongguk, standing back in his talking corner with a Solo cup in his hand and a serious expression on his face. But he's tapping his foot along to the still-playing music, and Taehyung grins wickedly as he comes up with a brilliant plan.He puts his finger to his lips when people see him coming up behind Yoongi, and Jeongguk just stares at him but a couple of them laugh when he grabs Yoongi from behind and squeezes with incredible force.Yoongi doesn't move an inch, just says, "Hey Tae.""How did that not scare you?" asks Taehyung, pouting a little as he leans down further to rest his chin on his shoulder."I saw you in the reflection," says Yoongi, nodding towards the big picture window."You could have at least pretended to be scared."Yoongi's voice changes not a note as he says, "Ah, oh no, who is doing this, what a terrifying jump scare I've gotten."Taehyung blows a raspberry in his ear, and Yoongi chuckles. He stops when Taehyung murmurs, "Big talk for a little guy, especially when I finally know his secret.""My secret?"Yoongi takes a drink, a big one, finishing off his cup, then hands it off to Jeongguk when Taehyung doesn't even begin to allow him to move to the trash table."Yep, I know your big, dark secret," says Taehyung. He keeps his voice pitched low, for maximum threat, and Yoongi's shoulders tighten. "You love to dance.""I do not.""Yes you do!" says Taehyung, changing from threatening to whining. "You were so good at it."Yoongi laughs, relaxing. "Just because I'm good at it doesn't mean I love it.""That makes no sense," says Taehyung. "How can you not love something you're good at? I love everything I'm good at. Arts and crafts, dog pictures, memorizing words, dancing, wearing great clothes, matchmaking…"He trails off sadly. "But I don't do that anymore, of course."Yoongi thankfully doesn't comment. "I guess I'm just weird.""True. You are the weirdest person I have ever personally met," says Taehyung, and he says it loud enough that Jeongguk gives him a look of disbelief, then snorts. "He is! I want to go home, Yoongi. Can we go home?""Sure," he says, raising a hand and patting Taehyung's wrist. "But you're going to have to let me go first.""Not until you agree to my demands.""I just agreed to them, right now. That's what 'sure' means."Taehyung laughs. "As if I would only have one demand. Before we go, you have to dance with me.""You can't possibly want to dance anymore. You've been dancing with Hoseok all night.""I have an extra emergency battery pack for dancing with Yoongi," says Taehyung. "I've been saving it up for just this occasion. Come on, please?"Yoongi sighs hugely. "Fine.""Real dancing," says Taehyung quickly. "Not your weird irony stuff.""Not irony dancing," says Yoongi. "Even though it's going to start a trend someday.""I will steer this planet into the sun first," says Taehyung, letting Yoongi go so he can pull him to the edge of the crowd. They're close to Seokjin and Todd, who are essentially having public sex by this point, and Yoongi yells at them to get a room before he consents to Taehyung's insistent tugs on his shoulder and turns around.And Yoongi doesn't do his irony dances but he's not as smooth as he was with Jimin, not as comfortable, and Taehyung pouts down at him after a minute. "You're not doing it right. Do it like you were with Jimin.""I'm trying, but you're a giant," says Yoongi. "By the time I figure out what your feet are doing your arms are already in a completely different place.""Ah, I see. So you want me to get on my knees for you?" says Taehyung, grinning.Yoongi coughs, then tries to keep moving, then coughs again as he turns away."Got him!" says Taehyung triumphantly, reaching his hand out to the closest person for a high five, which they give him without having any idea why. "Night complete. You really should have been prepared for that. Now come on, do it right."He spins Yoongi around again and listens to the music, and after Yoongi's done wheezing he has no choice but to fall in step with Taehyung's lead. And finally he's more relaxed, and he's good, and Taehyung's good with him, and he mentally takes frat parties out of his personal time out and puts them back into the good category too.When he yells that in Yoongi's ear during the hypest part of the song, Yoongi shakes his head disapprovingly, but he's smiling so big, and Taehyung smiles back even bigger for the whole rest of the dance.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I danced with so many people last night," says Taehyung. He blinks crusties out of his eyes, then gives up and closes them again as he rolls over and burrows into his comforter.Jimin rolls with him, still in his soft, fuzzy sweater and even less awake. They'd had a sleepover after the party, though they'd fallen asleep distressingly quickly for two vibrant, gorgeous men who were in the prime of their lives, and Taehyung knows they need to recapture their essence this morning.Instead, Jimin murmurs agreement, then starts to snore lightly."It's almost past brunch," says Taehyung, forcing his eyes back open. "We can't just sleep all the time. We're not a hundred years old.""I love sleep," says Jimin, barely comprehensible.Taehyung sighs. "I know, it's so good. But we have to talk about the party. We have to share all of our gossip. This is the college experience.""We were together the whole night," says Jimin. "We already know everything.""Not the whole night! You danced with other people a lot and I wasn't there for it. And there was a really long line for the bathroom that one time, so maybe I missed something. Come on, talk about fun with me, I've been so desperate."Jimin yawns and sits up heroically, his hair a total disaster as he rubs his eyes. Taehyung takes the opportunity to steal his pillow and hug it to himself as he gets even deeper in the comforter."I'm glad we went," says Jimin, a little question in his tone, like he's not sure what Taehyung wants to hear. "I had fun.""That's good! Fun is good," says Taehyung. He looks up at Jimin seriously, then adds, "I'm sorry you had to see the Unnamed Douche though. I was so sure he was in a hell dimension.""Oh," says Jimin, blushing a little. "That's okay. I mean, it wasn't nice, but I'm actually kind of over all of that."That takes all the sleep away from Taehyung, and he bolts upright, dislodging every pillow in the vicinity. Just two days ago Jimin had been talking about blue eyes in a very specific non-specific way, and Taehyung knows he still has a Seb souvenir collection in his desk drawer that he sometimes sniffles over. "You are? What happened? Oh my god, tell me?"Jimin blushes harder and curls up into a little ball. "I kind of have a crush on someone," he says, all in a breath, face pressed into his knees.But not muffled enough that Taehyung doesn't understand it, and he shrieks with joy. "You do? And you didn't tell me? What is the point of us if you don't tell me right away when your heart is aflutter?""I wasn't really sure until… well, until last night.""He was at the party?" asks Taehyung, bouncing closer. "Oh that's good! That's so good! Oh my god I'm so excited. How could you say I already know everything? I didn't know the most important thing in the world."Jimin looks up from his knees with a huge smile on his face, and Taehyung loves it even more than he loves candy. He takes it in fondly, lining up all of his million questions, but his stomach twists into a knot before he can get them out."Wait!" he says, even though Jimin was just smiling at him and wasn't even close to talking. "You can't tell me anything else. Jimin, look, you can't.""Why not?"Taehyung takes his hands. "Because I don't want to mess it up. I think it would be very good person of me not to know anything about it. You're adorable, you can manage all of it on your own I think. So don't tell me who it is! It's time for you, the baby bird, to fly out of the love nest."Jimin's nose scrunches. "I don't think you'd mess it up for me…""But I might! I might. So no names," says Taehyung firmly. "Unless… it's not me, right?"Jimin cracks up, giggling adorably as he rolls around the bed with his head thrown back in laughter. "No," he manages to say. "It's not you. You're not even cute."But he says it with a big Jimin smile, one that means he's telling a joke, and Taehyung crosses his arms in fake outrage. "That's right, I'm not cute! I'm sexy. Sexy Tae Baby, that's my stripper name. Don't forget it.""You have raccoon eyeliner right now," says Jimin, still shaking with giggles.But eventually Jimin stops laughing, and they sit in silence for a little bit until Taehyung says, "Is he cute, though?"The smile comes back, but this time a little more secret. "Yeah. So cute.""Ah, that's good," sighs Tae."And he's a really good dancer," says Jimin, smiling even more secretly, then pressing his face into a pillow and shaking back and forth like a puppy dog.And Taehyung's eyes light up where Jimin can't see, because his Sherlock circuits are now fully enabled. There are a million cute guys in the world, but Jimin hadn't danced with that many. Not as many as Taehyung had. But he had danced with Hoseok all night, and Hoseok was both cute and an amazing dancer, and since Taehyung and Hoseok aren't in any kind of love this is the most perfect thing that's ever happened. Even if Taehyung can't help out at all.He won't need to, though. Hoseok is very good at this sort of activity.Taehyung pats Jimin on the head as he continues to lightly melt down. "Well, I approve very much, for what it's worth. I think you made an excellent choice of crush.""You don't even know who it is!""I know everything," says Taehyung loftily. "I was born with all knowledge and that is my curse. But shhhh. Don't say anything. Now, can we brunch?""French toast sounds good," says Jimin, running a hand through his hair and making it, if possible, even more chaotic. "But can we burn some things first?""Always," says Taehyung. "I have a lighter in my drawer. What are we setting on fire? Can I pull the fire alarm when it's time?"Jimin blinks at him, a little alarmed. "I was thinking we could do it out in the fire pit? Where it would be safe?"Taehyung deflates, but he rallies as best he can. "Right. Safety is our number one concern.""We have to go to my room first," says Jimin. He throws back the covers and sniffs his shirt, wrinkling his nose cutely. "That's where the stuff is.""Okay," says Taehyung, sniffing his own shirt and finding it acceptable, but feeling in more of a sweatshirt and track pants mood today. He gets changed quickly and follows Jimin down the hallway, where Jimin now has lots of friends who say hi to him which is nice. They say hi to Taehyung, too, and Taehyung knows without a doubt that he and Jimin are the most popular people on the entire planet.He's surprised, though he realizes he shouldn't be, when Jimin goes to his Seb desk drawer after getting his own clothes on. He yanks out a bunch of things and Taehyung paws through them, a little pityingly when he sees the number of times that Jimin had simply written his name across a piece of paper, and a receipt from their dumb coffee date that Jimin had apparently paid for. But that's okay. Hoseok will be a much better boyfriend.When Taehyung sees the leftover marina pass card, his mind explodes with a new idea, and he bounces on his toes as he turns back to Jimin. "After we brush our teeth and do arson, I have to run an errand. Can we brunch another time?""Sure," says Jimin, a little confused.Taehyung snaps his fingers. "You should go to Yoongi's. He'll cook you things. Probably even French toast! He makes really good food."Jimin smiles with his whole body, and he hugs Taehyung. "I will. Thanks, Tae.""You are so welcome! Let's go, let's go, we have a busy day of being wonderful ahead of us," says Taehyung, pushing Jimin out the door and towards the bathroom, draping his arms over his back as they walk, perfectly happy.His errand is almost derailed when he realizes Uber won't accept "the place where the boats are (the ones with TVs)" as a destination, but then he realizes that the marina pass has an address on it and the world rights itself again. He makes a few pit stops, supported by a very pleasant Uber driver who he makes friends with instantaneously when he mentions he has a dog, and when they part they promise to be in each other's weddings before waving goodbye.Taehyung shows his pass to the lounging gate guard, then stops short as he realizes how many boats there are."I'm looking for Captain Juan," he says, smiling his biggest smile. "Do you know him?"The guard frowns and shrugs, not at all pleasant."Would you like a muffin?" asks Taehyung, recognizing this as a bribery situation from his many years of watching crime TV."Sure," the guard says reluctantly, but there's nothing reluctant in how he takes the baked good that Taehyung extracts from his bag. "I still don't know a Juan, though. Or, I should say, I know too many.""That's fair," says Taehyung, scowling with the effort of memory. "What about Elias? Is that a boat around here?""Oh sure," says the guard, pointing down the piers to the right. "Two down, then take a left. Big and white, but I guess that's all of them. Called The Olympian.""Thanks," says Taehyung, heading off confidently, accepting the muffin thanks with a wave of his laden hands.He wanders down the selected pier, wondering how you know what boats are called, but luckily he meets a couple of other people who he can give a muffin to get an answer, like a fairy tale. Eventually he's at a familiar yacht with his newest challenge, which is how you knock on a boat to see if anyone's home.He's saved from having to solve the puzzle when Captain Juan appears in his pilot's nest. Taehyung yells, "Ahoy!" which is one of the boat words he knows, and Captain Juan jumps before he looks down."Hello?" he says."Captain Juan," says Taehyung as loudly as he can. "It's me, Taehyung! I brought you brunch! And the rest of the crew!"At his name, Juan's puzzled expression clears, and he motions for Taehyung to walk up the gangway and onto the deck. He gets on his walkie-talkie, which Taehyung really wants to push the buttons on, and before long there's a group of a half dozen guys at the outdoor table chowing down on food and drinking coffee and juice.Taehyung looks at them happily, nibbling on his own scone and listening to them talk to each other. He'd commanded that they could only thank him once, because this is mostly for Captain Juan and his good heart, and he said he wouldn't answer any questions about himself because he wanted to learn about boat things. They aren't talking about boat things, not really, they're actually talking about soccer, but that seems good too. He takes note of the words for later searches and laughs at all of the jokes, even the ones he doesn't get."Thanks again," says Captain Juan eventually, in flagrant violation of their pact. "This was really nice of you.""You are really nice," says Taehyung firmly. "And I thought this was better than burning the marina pass in a fire pit."Juan smiles, though he clearly has no idea what Taehyung is talking about. He finishes off his coffee, stacking the cup neatly inside of everyone else's, then says, "You're lucky we were here today, though. This all could have all been for the seagulls."Taehyung wrinkles his forehead."We don't actually live here," says Captain Juan, a little smile on his face. "We're only here when the boat's going to go out.""But how do you get here?""We take the bus," says one of the younger guys, and he's laughing too, but it's not mean, so Taehyung laughs along with him. "Most of us live on the other side of town. Juan's wife runs the best restaurant, you should come by some time. It's on the beach. Authentic Mexican.""Can I bring my friends too? Not boat friends, they're cool like me," says Taehyung.The guys nod, grinning a little, and they exchange phone numbers with promises of homemade salsa and enormous tacos that have Taehyung's mouth watering despite the enormous Danish he'd just consumed. He wonders if he has a separate stomach just for tacos, because that would be really handy in a lot of situations."So if you guys are all here, does that mean you're going out today?" he asks when they're done sending each other emojis.Captain Juan looks at his watch, which has the phases of the moon on it and lots of little buttons that Taehyung wants to push. "Yeah. In about an hour. Boss should be here soon, actually."Taehyung stands up suddenly, keeping a smile on his face as he starts sweeping the trash into a bag. "I don't want to get you guys in trouble," he says lamely, though his heart is suddenly beating a little too fast. "Bon voyage and all of that!""The older Mr. Elias," says Juan gently, and Taehyung doesn't stop cleaning but he makes it a little less frantic. "But yes, we have some pre-checklists to do. It was good to see you again. You're welcome back anytime, Taehyung. Food or not.""Really?" says Taehyung, eyes wide."Sure," says one of his new phone buddies. "We don't offer tacos to just anyone. You're the only one of Sebastians's friends I haven't wanted to punch in the face."Everyone else nods, and Taehyung grins really big. "Can I drive the boat next time?"Captain Juan laughs, but he doesn't say no, and Taehyung is already preparing for his future boat duties as he heads down the gangway with a cheerful goodbye. He's got new phone numbers, and a secret employee pass to the marina, and everything is extremely excellent until he runs into a guy in a business suit with deep furrows on his face. He's in his fifties with bright blue eyes and no sense of fun at all."Who are you?" the guy says, before adding, "Not you."Taehyung blinks and doesn't say anything."Well?" the guy says."Do you mean me or not?" asks Taehyung, and the presumable Mr. Elias nods, his bluetooth headset blinking in his ear. "Oh. I'm Taehyung."Conscious of Captain Juan, who he doesn't want to get in trouble, particularly when the guy's eyebrows draw down even further, he adds, "I'm a friend of Seb's. I left something on the boat."And just like that, the guy's eyes flick over him dismissively, a little smirk on his face that says exactly what kind of friend Taehyung must be, and Taehyung gets mad all over again. He wants to tell him that his son should be in jail, or in a deep hole of no escape, or on some kind of boot camp reality show, but instead he smiles big and says, "You guys are so much alike. Tell him Tae Kim says never to call him again, okay?"And he skips away, laughing to the sky, dreaming about driving a huge boat across very calm waters with people he actually likes.Hoseok has the perfect hair for braiding, and Taehyung has started in on his sixth one when Hoseok says, "So, you went out to dinner with Jeongguk's parents this week?""Yeah, how did you know?" asks Taehyung.He reaches over Hoseok's shoulder to grab a tiny rubber band from his desk. Hoseok is sitting cross-legged on the floor, an action movie playing on Taehyung's laptop that neither of them are watching."I never reveal my sources. How was it?""The food was so good," says Taehyung. "It was a really fancy Japanese place, and I ate so many sushi rolls. Like, too many. But I couldn't help it. Jeongguk threatened me with death if I talked too much so I had to stuff my face a lot."He laughs at a sudden memory. "They thought I was dating Jeongguk, though, that was awkward.""Oh wow," says Hoseok, fiddling with the edge of the computer. "What did they say?""Obviously they would be lucky to have me date their son," says Taehyung. "I'm incredible. But they didn't seem to think so. My Korean isn't all that great, and my Korean when it comes to psychological concepts is non-existent, so I sounded pretty stupid when I talked about school. And then they told me that perfect Jeongguk has a bright future as a gold medalist CEO world dictator or whatever and he didn't have time for nonsense. I'm not nonsense!""Right," says Hoseok.Taehyung ties off his latest braid with a flourish. "Yugyeom stuck up for me, which was nice of him, and also I would have to be indoctrinated Clockwork Orange-style before I even held Jeongguk's hand so it was fine, but for people so okay with gayness they're really not okay with anyone smiling. Ever. I can see where he gets it from.""Our parents do shape us," says Hoseok absently. "So they were severe? Hard to please?""I guess," says Taehyung. "They didn't like my hilarious joke about lions, I'll tell you that much. But they paid for the sushi so I forgive them."Hoseok chuckles. He's still a lot of fun to hang out with, but he's less expansive now when they're alone. More like a regular person than the literal sun trapped inside of a person, and Taehyung kind of likes serious Hoseok. For one thing they don't get nearly so many noise complaints from his dorm neighbors."How did Jeongguk seem with them?" asks Hoseok. He laughs again, scratching at his braids. "I can't figure out if he'd be more talkative or less, somehow."Another rubber band offers itself as tribute, and Taehyung shrugs as he grabs another clump of hair. "He was the same. Yugyeom did most of the talking. He obviously loves them a lot, though. Wants them to think well of him. You're really curious about his parents."He says it without particular emphasis, but Hoseok suddenly laughs brightly like he'd told a joke. "Well it's not often you get to figure out where the Antichrist came from, you know. I can't pass up the opportunity to learn more."Taehyung smacks his shoulder, but he's laughing too. "Jeongguk's not the Antichrist. He's just annoying.""And judgmental, and silent, and weird, and aggressive," says Hoseok."And smart and polite and unobtrusive," finishes Taehyung. "I know you hate him, but we should try to be charitable to our fellow humans even when we're alone. I'm trying to be a good person, you know."Something on the computer explodes as people run away, and Hoseok leans back into Taehyung's leg. "You'll have to give me some time to catch up to your goodness level, I think. I've never been an angel even once.""That's not true. You obviously did something to convince your parents to release you from your prison."Hoseok tilts his head up and stares at him, yanking his hair out of Taehyung's fingers and ruining the braid unforgivably. "Can I tell you a secret?""Always," says Taehyung, promptly forgiving him."I didn't get released so much as escape," says Hoseok. "I'm a fugitive from parental justice, sleeping on whatever couch I can find and running through my savings account way too quickly.""You didn't," says Taehyung, his mouth dropping open. "Why? They were already so pissed at you."Hoseok's mouth upside down still looks like a smile, and Taehyung tries to smooth the corners into something less pained. "Because I was trapped. And I couldn't stand it anymore, being there, knowing that you guys were here, that there was all this life happening and I was missing out on it. I was missing… I was missing everything. If there had been some kind of plan, some kind of penance I could make to them that would get me out I would have done it, but there was nothing. They just wanted me to be there as long as they demanded it. And life doesn't wait around forever. Nothing does. You have to go after what you want.""So what do you want?" asks Taehyung curiously."Everything," says Hoseok. "I want everything, immediately, or even faster. I want to go anywhere in the world with anyone I want and be happy. Make other people happy. Dance on beaches and make love in public and kiss in private. See every sight in the world that can be seen and make them all mine for a perfect moment. Touch the whole earth and fall in love. Be me, as hard as I can be, before it's too late.""Wow."Hoseok huffs out a breath. "Yeah, wow. But no one else wants any of that for me, I guess.""I do," says Taehyung, stroking his forehead. "I think you should have all of it. But maybe start with something small. One thing you can do today, to be the most yourself. If you could do anything, what would it be? Figure that out, then do it.""Sometimes that requires another person to agree with you," says Hoseok wryly, but he drops the laptop on the floor and spins around. "But yeah. You're right. It's all just little steps, yeah?'"Yeah," says Taehyung. "And you should make up with your parents if you can. Call them and tell them what's going on, what you want, what your plans are, how you're being yourself. Make a list, and tell them you love them. Because they haven't driven down here to haul you back yet, have they? That must mean something.""They won't listen," says Hoseok. "They never have."Taehyung shrugs. "No one ever listens until they do. You just have to outlast them.""Self-actualization through stubbornness?" asks Hoseok, grinning. "That's the most Tae thing you've ever said.""I have the tools I have," says Taehyung happily.There's a knock at his door, and he yells for entrance as Hoseok toys with the hem of Taehyung's pants, deep in thought. Yoongi pokes his head in, then pauses, blinking slowly. "Sorry.""No sorry," says Taehyung. "Come in! Do you want to do Hoseok's hair with me?"Yoongi looks at it for a long moment, then says, "I'm not sure there's anything I could possibly add.""It's beautiful, isn't it? I should change my major.""That's not exactly the word I would use," says Yoongi. He stands just inside the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "I just wondered if you wanted to go to dinner. Unless you have plans."The question is faint, and Taehyung looks down at Hoseok to see if they have plans he was unaware of. But Hoseok is still lost in his own world, so Taehyung says, "I don't think we had anything solid. And you know I love food! Let's eat."Yoongi's face does his pinched, displeased expression. "Oh, are you sure?""Are you calling me a liar?" asks Taehyung, gasping. "Of course I'm sure. You're paying, right?""I thought we would just go to the cafeteria.""But Hoseok doesn't have a meal plan," says Taehyung. "And I want tacos!"Before Yoongi can shoot him down out of cheapness, Hoseok rolls to his feet gracefully. "Sorry, I have to bail. Dinner tomorrow?" he asks, looking down at Taehyung. "My treat.""You have literally no money. You're couch surfing professionally. So it's my treat," says Taehyung. "And you can stay with me sometimes if you need to. Don't tell Yoongi I said that."Hoseok looks at Yoongi with a knowing smile on his face, then gestures to Taehyung as if to say this kid. But he leans down and whispers his thanks and agreement, kissing Taehyung on the cheek. It's a business-like brush of lips, but Taehyung knows that it's his only way to be real, so he smiles as Hoseok pulls away. His braids are still all over his head, and he looks like a work of art."Dinner tomorrow," Taehyung confirms as Hoseok fist bumps Yoongi on his way out of the room, and Hoseok gives him a finger heart in acknowledgment.Yoongi raises his eyebrows when they're alone, clearly waiting for Taehyung to say something, and Taehyung sighs hugely. "Fine, we can go get the free cafeteria food. Let me make myself beautiful."He hauls himself up and trudges to his closet to find his pinkest beanie cap, then jams it on his head. "Okay, I'm done. Compliment me, please.""You look like there's been a tragic Kirby massacre on your head," says Yoongi, but his heart clearly isn't in it. "Let's go."They walk down the hallway in their usual silence, Taehyung poking Yoongi's shoulder every few feet just to see how long he lasts. He makes it all the way to the building doors, which is an unusually patient Yoongi, before he says slowly, "I'm sorry if I ruined your plans.""What plans?" asks Taehyung, poking him again."For tonight.""I didn't have any," says Taehyung. "Hoseok and I aren't really planners. We prefer to let the plans come to us. And then you did! Once again the universe bends to my will.""Okay," says Yoongi, scrunching into his jacket against the slightly chillier November air. Yoongi always dresses like they're in Alaska as soon as the temperature falls below scorching, but it's endearing to see him so puffy. "Did Hoseok… did he say anything about Jeongguk?""Jeongguk?" asks Tae, puzzled. "We talked about how I went to dinner with his parents. And his latest swimming victory, for the sports. But no. Why?"Yoongi's face is nearly invisible beneath his collar. "I just had been wondering. If he and Jeongguk were, well, if there was anything going on there."Taehyung's face goes slack with thought, and then he starts to laugh. "You mean romantically? Oh my god," he says, cracking up again. "No. Definitely not. Hoseok can't stand Jeongguk. And he would never pick him as a boyfriend. Trust me, I have really good reason to know."That really good reason being Park Jimin, beautiful human, but Yoongi doesn't need to know that."Oh," says Yoongi, as they reach the doors, and that seems to be all he has to say. Taehyung wonders if he's changed his mind about liking Jeongguk, but he doesn't really want to think about that or ask about it, not when it's just the two of them, so he shoves it away in his mind."Hey, I need to talk to you about something," says Taehyung, poking Yoongi again. "Remind me when we sit down."Yoongi nods, and they get their cafeteria food and slide into a small corner table, one with a nice view out of the window at the campus trees. Yoongi seems fascinated with them as he starts to eat, watching them so closely that Taehyung turns to see if a dragon has showed up or something.It has not."You wanted to talk?" says Yoongi, even though he's still doing his best impression of a bird watcher.Taehyung tries to swallow, but he has too much food so he just starts talking through it. "Yeah! It's Jin's birthday soon. We have to do something to remind him how old he's getting, he'll hate it."Yoongi turns back to him, a tiny smile lifting the corner of his mouth. "He really will. I'm in. What should we do?""I've been stockpiling my dad's AARP junk mailers," says Taehyung. "But that's just a thing I'm going to give him. I think we should take him to a beach and make him watch young people be athletic.""Really?" asks Yoongi, a little skeptically. "That's your idea?"Taehyung nods. "Also I made new friends today and they'll give me free tacos from a restaurant if I go there and it's by a beach. You guys have to pay probably."Yoongi sips his water and rolls his eyes. "Got it. Well, I like beaches, even in December. Sounds good.""You'll drive us? And bring drinks? And help me pick out funny sunglasses for Jin to wear?" asks Taehyung. "Also we should maybe get a giant balloon with his face on it? And I want to make a collage of the AARP stuff. Oh, and denture cream! We should get some of that. But no hair dye, right? He's really sensitive about gray hair. Do you think it's too late to get a horse? Can you take horses to a beach?""I will drive you and bring drinks," says Yoongi firmly, and Taehyung knows they'll also be getting sunglasses and some kind of balloon by the way he blinks furiously as he says it.But Taehyung just grins and doesn't gloat, because gracious winning is important. "I think we should invite just people we like. And my new friends. They know so much about boats."Yoongi taps his fork on his tray. "You have to invite Yugyeom and Jeongguk.""Fine," says Taehyung. "They can talk to each other I guess. And Todd can come obviously. Does Jin have friends who aren't us?""I've seen no evidence of it," says Yoongi."Good, that makes it easier to plan. Operation Age-Jin is a go.""No to that name," says Yoongi, pushing his tray over to Taehyung to share his spaghetti. "Sounds like Operation Asian. How about Operation Jin-riatric?""Dumb," says Taehyung. "Operation Jinility?"Yoongi holds his hand up for a high five. "We got there."But when Taehyung tries to slap it, Yoongi gives himself a self-five, and Taehyung takes the last meatball off of his plate and stuffs it in his mouth. Yoongi retaliates by stealing his breadstick, and Taehyung starts kicking him in the legs indiscriminately, and fortunately one of the workers comes over and asks them to tone it down before any blood is drawn.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I think that the weather hates me, personally," says Taehyung as they unload Yoongi's car and start trudging across the sand. "Why can't it be a nice day just one time?""We live in Southern California, it's always nice," says Yoongi, weighed down by a huge umbrella.Jimin is more sympathetic when he says, "It's still sunny! Just a little cold.""Whatever. It's a personal attack against me, and I'm filing a compliant with the National Weather Service."Seokjin's car pulls into the lot and Taehyung drops everything he's holding to run over and give him a big hug. "Happy birthday! I love you! Have you thrown out your back yet today? Counted up all of your wrinkles? I have a very high-magnification mirror in Yoongi's car if you need one.""I'm twenty-four," grumbles Seokjin, but he hugs Taehyung anyway. "I love you too. I heard there's tacos around here somewhere?""Definitely," says Taehyung, giving Todd a high five behind Seokjin's back. "Yoongi's going to pay.""That was never part of the agreement," says Yoongi directly behind him, because he's still a witch.Seokjin laughs as Taehyung swings them both around to face Yoongi. "Just give in to him. It's easier."Yoongi's annoyance threat level is still low enough that Taehyung says, "Take a picture of me and the birthday grandpa, please! Many pictures. My Instagram needs age diversity."He squeezes up next to Seokjin, his cheeks burning from the stretch in his smile even though he knows Seokjin is making an exaggerated sexy face next to him like a total dork. He'll still look good. That's the curse of Jin, but Yoongi tells him to be normal for once, and Seokjin argues that beauty is never normal, plus it's his birthday so Yoongi should let him exist in his own perfection for once.They keep sniping at each other while Jimin and Taehyung and Todd laugh, until Yoongi takes a dozen pictures just to get Seokjin to stop talking and pose again."You are perfect, baby," says Todd, both sincere and clearly under strict orders, and they start making out against their car to everyone's interest."Please save your birthday sex for later," says Yoongi, covering Jimin and Taehyung's eyes like they're toddlers. "There are impressionable youths here."Seokjin stops kissing Todd, which Taehyung sees because he shoves Yoongi's hand away to keep staring. "Oh ye of little faith. We've already had three birthdays' worth of sex today, this is just bonus."Jimin giggles, his face a truly magical shade of red, and Yoongi says loudly, "Tae, are these pictures good enough?"Taehyung leans over obligingly as Yoongi scrolls through his phone. Seokjin is his standard devastating, but Taehyung had just had his hair dyed a light brown, and he'd taken extra time with his outfit today, a lovely beach ensemble that flatters his shoulders with a nice choker necklace to top it off. Plus his face is behaving well today, so all-in-all it's coming together. "Oh yeah, perfect. I look really good, right?""Yeah, you do," says Yoongi, touching the screen with his thumb before putting the phone to sleep. "I'll send them to you later.""Thanks," says Taehyung. He maneuvers until he's hugging Yoongi from behind with the strength of two hundred koalas. "And thanks for all of your help with the party. And for finding those awesome sunglasses. You're the best, Yoongi.""Obviously," says Yoongi, but he doesn't even try to shrug Taehyung off, so Taehyung knows he's pleased despite himself. "Come on, we need to set up the towels."But before Taehyung can explain that he has a doctor's note that says he can't, a million people are suddenly talking to him. Or three people, to be exact, but their energy levels are more than enough to be a million.Yugyeom jumps on his back and gives him a hug, in the middle of a sentence about something Jeongguk had accomplished that he'd clearly started all the way back at the dorm. Boat friend Luis materializes on his right side and greets him with an attempt at complex handshake that Taehyung turns into a regular handshake through sheer determination. And Hoseok takes his left side, sliding a hand in between Yugyeom's chest and Taehyung's shoulder blades like a toilet snake into a pipe, hugging him sideways and using his most determined happy Hobi voice directly in his ear.There's a portion of Taehyung that is really excited about being the creamy filling of a friend sandwich, but there's a larger part of him that doesn't have the physical capacity to absorb so much stimulation at once.Luckily Jeongguk swings by and says hi to Yoongi, wishes a still-kissing Seokjin a happy birthday, and ignores Taehyung completely which saves him from having to extend himself any further. Instead he swiftly organizes his adoring fans into manageable chunks, saying, "Hey Yugyeom, Yoongi needs some help setting up," then turning to Luis and adding, "Before I introduce you around, show me and Hoseok where the tacos are please. And feed me one."He smiles hugely when Yoongi narrows his eyes at him before stomping across the sand in his flip flops and long pants with Yugyeom and Jimin running behind. Jeongguk follows, his face even more thunderous than usual, and Hoseok wraps a light arm around Taehyung's waist, squeezing it for comfort in a distressing way. It's not exactly the cheerful party mood that Taehyung had been hoping to cultivate, and only the fact that Seokjin is currently too horny to register the sour mood is keeping things from being a disaster."These are your friends?" asks Luis, a little amused."They're usually not so annoyed," says Taehyung, then checks himself. "That's a lie, they're always annoyed, but usually it's funnier to watch. Hoseok, I'm going to be counting on you to keep the vibe happy and light today, okay? You are the only person with a sense of humor I've ever met."Seokjin surfaces from the depths of Todd's mouth to say, "I heard that, you little weasel.""Happy birthday!" Taehyung screams, then starts running towards the nearest building in the hopes that it's a Mexican restaurant.It turns out to be a surf shop, and he spends a long moment considering scrapping the birthday plans and getting lessons instead. But Hoseok says that Jeongguk is a really good surfer, and that reminds Taehyung that surfing is really dumb, actually, so no one would ever want to do it voluntarily.Instead Luis takes them to the restaurant, where Captain Juan and his wife Lydia are waiting for them in the kitchen. Juan introduces Taehyung as a very nice young man who has a big heart and a sharp head, and Lydia pinches his cheeks and says that he's cute but too skinny, and she's going to fix that.Taehyung says, "Yes please, I love to eat," which makes her laugh.When they leave, they're laden with bags of delicious smelling food, Luis summoning more Boat Boys to help them carry it to the waiting blankets. Taehyung insists on paying for it all, though he's almost certain Lydia gives him some kind of discount that he can't prove because she refuses to give him an itemized receipt. Hoseok ruffles his hair and laughs that it's the only time he's ever seen Taehyung not trying to grift someone at a cash register, and Taehyung elbows him for making him look like some kind of moocher in front of his new friends.He doesn't mention that he conned Yoongi into paying for all of the drinks by forgetting to remind him he was still underage until they were already at the check out.The lunch itself goes well enough, the food extra-delicious and the Boat Boys great company and the sun bright enough to counteract the slightly cold breeze off of the water. Only Jeongguk is insane enough to want to go swimming, claiming he does it all the time in training for open-water events, but he's voted down by the other more sane members of the party. Mostly by Yoongi, who Jeongguk defers like he's some kind of water temperature guru which Taehyung finds obnoxious.But Seokjin is exactly the right blend of touched and annoyed at his quarter-life gifts, capped off beautifully by the one-two punch of Taehyung's AARP fliers and Hoseok's sample Viagra package that he gets very evasive about when Taehyung presses him on where he got it. Taehyung grills him partially because he really wants to know and partially because Seokjin's both yelling and crying at the same time about how he hates everyone, which is a sign that he needs to have a few minutes out of the spotlight to corral his sentimentality.Taehyung's not sure if Hoseok really gets it, but he follows Taehyung's lead perfectly, flirty and coy and ridiculous in all the right ways, until everyone's busy watching them spar about recreational ED medication and Seokjin can wipe his hands under his eyes until he looks perfect once again.When Taehyung judges the storm is passed he grabs a cinnamon-y churro and stuffs it in his mouth whole, chewing happily, and tilts his head up to the sun. "I love churros," he says, though he's not sure anyone can understand him.Luis leans over from his other side and says, "You'd better slow down, or you'll never be able to play football."Taehyung swallows, then licks his fingers. "Oh no, I don't play sports. A witch cursed me, and if a sports ball touches me I lose all of my bones. It's very sad."None of his usual friends laugh, but the Boat Boys all do because they haven't heard his best material yet. Luis laughs along, but he also looks puzzled. "You said you wanted a match.""Yeah, for you guys," says Taehyung. "I'm the audience.""Tae mostly likes to be the cause of sports in others," says Yoongi dryly, an extremely gross dark lager in his hand. "He's too conceited to get sweaty in front of people."He says it more sharply than usual, and Seokjin kicks him in the thigh in reproof, but Taehyung only shrugs. "He's not wrong. But these guys will play. Some of them anyway. And I'm the world's best cheerer. You all just have to compete for my approval.""I'm in," says Todd. "American football or soccer?"Luis grins. "There's only one kind of fútbol we play here.""Cool," says Todd, giving Seokjin a swift kiss on the cheek. "Gonna cheer for me?"Seokjin bats his eyes at him. "Given that you're the only person who's been at all nice to me today, absolutely.""Hey!" say Taehyung and Yoongi in tandem, and Seokjin gives them both I'm watching you threatening eyes before putting on his goofy new sunglasses.People stand up, brushing themselves off, starting to pick up trash, and Taehyung looks around in alarm and grabs another two churros. "Are the sports starting now?""Sooner we play, the sooner we drink," says a Boat Boy Taehyung thinks is named Gustavo, and that gets a lot of high fives, including two from Todd because he says one is from still-seated Seokjin.Jeongguk stands up too, kicking off his athlete's flip-flops and starting to stretch without a word. Yugyeom immediately goes into overdrive, his hands clasped together in his lap. "Are you sure it's safe? You don't want to get hurt, right? Not before the qualifiers next month. Your parents said you have to be really careful."From a weird lunge position that makes Taehyung cup his hands over his own groin protectively Jeongguk shrugs. "They trust me," he says. "I'll be careful."Hoseok coughs next to Taehyung, finishing the rest of his own beer quickly and jumping up. "I'm in," he says. "Which means whoever is on my team better thank their lucky stars, because Tae's going to be cheering for us. Right, Tae?"Taehyung looks up, a little bit of churro packed in his cheek like a squirrel as he grins. "I have to make an objective assessment of each team's line up and handsomeness level. No favoritism.""Rude," says Hoseok, but he doesn't look mad. "But it's okay. If it's based on handsomeness, I've clearly got the edge, right?""Only because -" begins Seokjin."Because you're not playing," Taehyung and Hoseok finish with him, and Seokjin tries to pout but he's laughing too hard to pull it off.Yoongi gets to his feet slowly and starts to copy Jeongguk's stretches, and Seokjin laughs even harder. "You're going to play?""It's cold," says Yoongi, trying to touch his toes and waving his hands in the air a solid six inches above them. "I'm not going to sit here and freeze.""Bro, you're going to kick ass," says Taehyung with as much sincerity as he can muster, which isn't much at all, and Yoongi shoots him a look from his slightly upside down position. Taehyung gives him an air-bump in return. "Good luck, dude!"Jeongguk murmurs something to Yoongi that Taehyung can't hear but makes him smile and turn away, so Taehyung watches the Boat Boys set up their unofficial sports area with little traffic cones and string that seem surprisingly planned. Even more surprising is that people start wandering over from other parts of the beach to sit down. This must be another thing, like swimming, where people like it a lot more than Taehyung realized, and he pulls out his phone to start Googling.He's just started murmuring to himself, "Header, offsides, timeout, forward," when Yugyeom yanks his hand, saying they'd better get going if they want to sit in a good place. Seokjin kicks him in the butt for emphasis, harder than he needs to because he's had three margaritas already and is holding a fourth, and Taehyung quickly gets up and holds a steadying hand on his elbow like it's his grandmother walking down some particularly narrow stairs."You are the worst person," says Seokjin, but he doesn't push Taehyung away as they wander over to the sidelines. The players are already lined up, a healthy number of guys and girls alike, and Jimin is standing on their outskirts behind Yoongi and Hoseok like he's not sure if he should jump in and play or not. When he sees Taehyung looking he gives him panicked eyebrows, his eyes as wide as the first time they talked, and Taehyung beckons and pats the sand next to him.Jimin runs over, a look of relief on his face, and squirms in between him and Seokjin. "This is probably better.""Definitely better," says Taehyung. "They have lots of players already. Also it said in my phone that you're not allowed to touch people in soccer so what's the point of being out there when you can watch them from here instead?"He waggles his eyebrows, winking both eyes in sequence until Jimin giggles, then puts an arm around him and another around Yugyeom, whooping loudly about sports. Seokjin echoes him, adding, "You can do it, sexy!" in a very loud voice that no one seems to mind.They even get some cheers when Todd blows him a kiss from his cluster of people. They've divided up into two teams, Todd with Hoseok in his group and Yoongi with Jeongguk, though Taehyung can't tell if they'd evenly split up the outsiders on purpose or if people from the same high school always have to play together. He starts to Google that too, but he's interrupted when Seokjin leans across Jimin and smacks him in the arm."You're gonna miss the good part," he says, and Taehyung looks up just in time to see Todd and Hoseok getting naked with their team.It's not really naked, just their shirts, but it might as well be naked for as hot as they all are. It's like some kind of rom com combined with a porn, and Taehyung claps appreciatively when Hoseok looks over, grinning, and runs a hand over his obvious six-pack like he's on The Price Is Right. From the sudden murmurs around them, Taehyung's not the only one who likes it, and he laughs when Hoseok does a goofy, flawless spin and then turns bright red when a woman makes her own appreciation known."My boyfriend is so hot!" screams Seokjin in response, and Todd doesn't do any kind of spin but he does blow another kiss which Seokjin catches and presses to his forehead like a total weirdo. The crowd roars for them, and Jimin and Yugyeom are cracking up, but Taehyung is too busy too laugh. Instead he stares at Seokjin's very, very red ears and feels the penny drop."Oh my god," he says when it's finally quiet enough to be heard. "You really love him don't you? Like, you're actually going to marry him. Get a house, have dogs and kids. Mr. Seokjin Porter. Holy shit.""Don't be ridiculous," says Seokjin, taking another drink. "I would never get a pet as common as a dog.""His name is Todd Porter?" asks Jimin. "Wow. That's very…""Country club?" says Taehyung. "That's okay, Seokjin was born for country clubs. They'll love him. But I'm still in shock. I thought you just liked his dick a lot."Seokjin's ears are still very red, but his face reveals nothing. "His dick is incredible."Yugyeom claps his hands over his own ears, which means he misses the moment when there's a commotion in the still-clothed group of people, resolved when Yoongi shoves Jeongguk forward and lifts up his shirt with a serious expression on his face and a motion to the gathered crowd for feedback. He gets it in spades, because Jeongguk's body is ludicrous and unfair, and Yoongi nods placid acceptance like it's exactly what he expected.He cuts a look over at Hoseok and Todd, a smirk rising to his lips as they both start flexing exaggeratedly, and then Yoongi spins away when Jeongguk reaches back for his own hoodie, running across the sand screaming like a lunatic while Jeongguk laughs behind him. Jeongguk could catch him easily, but he doesn't, and then everyone's in a war of muscles, girls pushing themselves forward to flex indiscriminately and boys going crazy with their biceps, and no one really notices when Yoongi flops down on the sand and curls up into a ball as Jeongguk yanks at the hem of his shirt playfully.Everyone is laughing and cheering, but Taehyung frowns. "That's not funny. We shouldn't reduce people to what they look like. People have personalities, too. That's what real beauty is. I thought we were more enlightened than this.""We will never be that enlightened," says Seokjin. "Don't fight your nature, Taehyung."Jeongguk lets Yoongi up, still laughing, and everyone settles down to start playing for real. People start taking bets around them, and this must be very serious, so Taehyung settles back to be a quiet spectator, which is every little bit in his nature."You were completely out of bounds," says Jeongguk a few hours later. It's just them now, the core birthday party, and Taehyung misses when they were all being friendly for the Boat Boys. "I can't believe they let you get away with it.""I can't believe you made such a huge deal about a stupid few inches," says Hoseok, irritation in his voice. "It was just a friendly match. We're not all future Olympians.""If things don't have rules, then what's the point?" says Jeongguk. He has a beer in his hand, his fourth of the afternoon, which Taehyung blames entirely for vocalizing his usually quiet surliness. He and Hoseok have been fighting nearly continuously since Jeongguk's team lost, and Taehyung thinks that future Olympians are petty as hell. "You can't just say things don't matter because you don't want them to. That's stupid.""You know what else is stupid?" says Seokjin, lifting his glass. "Yoongi's body. Where have you been hiding that thing?"They'd swapped shirts and skins halfway through the match, and Seokjin hasn't been able to shut up about Yoongi's burgeoning barrel chest and thick biceps ever since. Not that they're in evidence now, his huge hoodie covering everything up where he's sitting like some kind of yoga instructor, his feet tucked up under his legs in defiance of anatomy.Yoongi shrugs around his own beer. "I like to wear clothes. It's this new thing that people are doing, you should look into it.""Todd wouldn't like that, would you sweetie?" asks Seokjin.He's curled inside Todd's arms, which Taehyung is convinced is the only thing keeping him upright, but since he's grossly in love and ancient, Taehyung will allow it. Even though Seokjin isn't wearing a shirt for some unknown reason. But that's also okay when Todd answers in the affirmative, then leans down and kisses him, lighting Seokjin's face up like a Christmas tree."Yoongi's been going to the gym with me," says Jeongguk. "He's really focused. Disciplined. He's gotten the fastest results I've ever seen from an amateur."Yoongi shakes his head dismissively, but a little smile lurks on his lips, and Taehyung sits up from his relaxed position. "I want a margarita."He doesn't say it to anyone in particular, but Hoseok leans across him to pick up a glass and some bottles. Taehyung doesn't know what they all are, but Hoseok is a self-proclaimed expert at drinking so Taehyung trusts him even when whatever he hands over smells like sharp fumes, like something in a cleanser.Taehyung wrinkles his nose before he drains half the glass.Hoseok whoops next to him, almost drowning out Yoongi's shocked, "Tae!"But Taehyung still hears it, and he looks over with a sunny smile. "It's Jin's birthday party, I can't not drink. Plus I don't even know how to drive so it's fine! Right?""Totally fine," says Hoseok, dropping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in. "I bet you're a happy drunk aren't you? Not all mean and aggressive like some people.""I'm not a happy drunk, that's Jimin," says Taehyung, poking at him with his foot where he's smiling quietly to himself. Just like he has been ever since the soccer match, his eyes softly unfocused and lovely as he stared at the field. "Look how happy he is. He's got the best smile ever.""Yeah," says Hoseok. "He really does, but yours is pretty good, too.""But I don't get happy when I drink," says Taehyung, taking another few gulps from his glass. "I get weird.""No, you start out weird," says Yoongi.He hands his empty bottle off to Yugyeom, who's collecting them neatly in recycling bags, then picks up another before setting it down unopened. "I'd better stop if I'm going to drive.""Very responsible of you," says Hoseok, and he sounds sincere but Yoongi bristles."There's nothing wrong with being responsible," he says, balling his hands inside his sleeves. "The world would go to shit without responsible people."Jeongguk nods vigorously, passing his own bottle to Yugyeom and taking the full one Yoongi had rejected."The world might work but it wouldn't be worth it without the fun people," says Hoseok. His smile doesn't reach his eyes when he looks over at Taehyung. "Right, TaeTae?""Right," he says firmly. "Fun is like, 90% of the recipe of life. 10% is responsibility. Maybe. But the responsible people get better PR from adults, who are dumb. Down with adults!"Seokjin throws his hands in the air in victory, tossing the dregs of his margarita all over the sand. "Amen brother."Jimin giggles, even though some of the margarita got on him, and Taehyung smiles back, and the warmth of the alcohol feels good in his stomach. "I want another one!"And Hoseok complies, and it doesn't taste nearly so sharp this time, and Taehyung makes grabby hands at Jimin to get him to move closer to him and Hoseok. And Jimin does, his own hard lemonade very sugary when Taehyung takes a swig of it. He wrinkles his nose again, and Hoseok boops it with a grin. "Too much sweetness?""Yeah, but that always happens when Jimin's around!" he says, shifting very carefully so that Hoseok can touch him too, if he wants."You realize it's adults that make your life work," says Yoongi from across the circle. His mouth is in teaching-Taehyung-a-life-lesson position, and Taehyung rolls his eyes. "You get to have fun because people do all the hard parts for you."Yugyeom shakes his head. "Taehyung is really responsible! He organized this whole party, didn't he? And helped me put my closet in seasonal order just last week, even though I didn't even ask him to, because he's always taking care of other people.""Yeah, Yoongi, see, I'm super responsible and charitable," says Taehyung, sticking his tongue out. "So there.""He might not be as responsible as Jeongguk," continues Yugyeom, wiping the triumph out of Taehyung's heart. "But that's different. Jeongguk has so many expectations on him, with school and the swim team and sponsorships all. Ever since he was a little kid we've all known how special he was going to be. We were just talking about that the other day, weren't we Jeongguk? With your mom and dad? We used to talk about it, all of us, how Jeongguk was going to be the one who made the family name, and now it's going to happen."Hoseok finishes his drink with an aggressive smack of his lips. "Parents are ridiculous," he says. "They take all of their own failures and put them in a basket and give it to you and expect you to fix it for them. They don't care about what you want, they just care about what who you are says about them. Suffer as much as they need you to, as long as their name looks good.""Amen!" calls Seokjin again. "Angry speeches, woo!"Taehyung puts a steadying hand on Hoseok's thigh, and he takes it in his own strong grip without looking over."Parents can't help it, I think," says Taehyung. "They just don't remember what it was like to be us anymore. It's not fair to blame them for screwing up sometimes.""That's no excuse," says Hoseok. "They could try.""I think," says Jeongguk loudly, then reddening when they all look at him. "I think that if your parents do the work of raising you, and taking care of you, and feeding you and clothing you and making sure you have all of things you need and being there all the time, that they deserve respect. A lot of respect. And it's not wrong to do what they want, especially when they want what's best for you. Especially when what they want is better for you than what you think you want, because what you think you want is impractical, and stupid, and just ideas. Just stupid ideas, without any plans.""Preach!" yells Seokjin.Hoseok's fingers around Taehyung's are like a vise. "What, so because your parents bought you meat and made you lunch every day and paid for swim training that means you just do whatever they tell you to do, forever? Eat what they want you to eat, talk to who they want you to talk to, live the life they want you to live? You think they bought that from you by doing the bare minimum you deserved? They had you, you didn't have them, and half of the shit they did for you was to make them look good. Sure, some parents are assholes. Real assholes, and you should be grateful if they weren't that. If they were good to you. And you should love them, if you want to. But they don't own you.""Of course they don't own me," says Jeongguk furiously. "I'm my own person, and I'm doing what I want. Are you doing what you want?""Absolutely," says Hoseok, scooting closer to Taehyung, shaking with some kind of unreleased emotion. But when he turns to Taehyung his smile is sun-like again. "But I've been thinking I need a boyfriend, Taetae. And from what I hear, you're the best in town at boyfriends.""Yoongi says I'm not allowed anymore," says Taehyung, pouting. He's finished off his second drink, and it's a lot easier to pout with two margaritas in him. "I've been decommissioned like an old sad robot."Hoseok waves his hand dismissively. "Who cares what Yoongi says? It's fine if I ask, right? Get me a boyfriend, Tae. I've been single for way too long."Taehyung hesitates, looking over at Yoongi, who's sitting closer to Jeongguk and drawing shapes in the sand between them. He's not even looking across the circle anymore, and Taehyung's spine hardens inside of him."Okay," he says, turning back to Hoseok and talking at his loudest volume. "I accept the mission. What are your requirements?""Gorgeous, obviously, to match me," says Hoseok, grinning widely. "Fun, like you. Willing to try new things. Not tied to a routine, of course. That's so boring.""So boring," agrees Taehyung. He looks at Jimin and shares a secret smile with him. "Good at dancing, I assume?""Oh definitely. What would we do without dancing?""Sit still," murmurs Yoongi, and Jeongguk laughs.Taehyung ignores them. "Well, that's a tough list, but I'm sure I can find someone to fit. Someone really, really good! Don't worry, you'll have the best boyfriend in the entire universe by tomorrow.""I believe in you," says Hoseok, reaching up to pinch his cheek. "I knew from the beginning you were special, Tae. Want another margarita?"Taehyung agrees happily, and Seokjin calls out, "Taehyung is special! He's so special and I love him so much. Not as much as I love Todd, but almost. Way more than I love Yoongi.""Yeah," says Yugyeom happily. "Tae is the best best friend I've ever had."Jimin suddenly sits up and claps. "Me too! I don't know how he's so good at it! I thought going away to college would be terrible, like some kind of bad movie, but I'm having the best year, thanks to him."Taehyung grins happily, motioning them to continue their praise. "Thank you, thank you, I am amazing. Yoongi, it's your turn to tell me how much you love me. I know it's the most, so please feel free to take the next hour to explain to everyone why.""I'll pass," says Yoongi, shrugging, and Taehyung's smile dims.Hoseok leans forward. "Absolutely not. This is Adoring TaeTae Time, and it's mandatory.""But you're doing such a good job already, I'd hate to interrupt," says Yoongi. "Besides, I prefer realism to blind flattery. But I guess it's obvious what he likes better.""Yeah, it's so weird that people like to hear good things about themselves," says Seokjin, a little slurred. "What a shock. It's like you're some kind of alien, Yoongi."Yoongi scowls. "I just like honesty.""Exactly," says Jeongguk. "People shouldn't say stuff they don't mean.""Who says I don't mean it?" says Hoseok. He lifts his chin aggressively, like he's starting a fight, which is weird because all he says is, "Taehyung is absolutely my favorite person."A silence falls over them at the words, like some kind of magic spell, and Taehyung stares down at his knees. He feels bad for Jimin, who had to hear that, and for Hoseok, who is clearly unhappy about something, and for himself, because Yoongi's holding Jeongguk's hand, comfortingly, and Taehyung's fists are clenched in his lap alone."I'm not having fun on my birthday," says Seokjin, and Taehyung shakes himself."I think," he starts, then clears his throat to get rid of the scratch. "I think instead of people saying nice things about me, you should all say something nice about yourselves. Like a nice affirmation. Jin says nice things about himself all the time, so it will honor his memory as he ages past relevance."Seokjin kicks a flip flop at him that he ducks with the biggest smile he can find inside himself. He throws it back, laughing when Seokjin screams like he's been shot, glad when Jimin starts laughing in his own infectious way. Taehyung rolls with it, trying to find the right groove again. "You know you're the most conceited person here.""I am not!" says Seokjin, affronted. "It's not conceited when you're right, Kim Taehyung. Don't bully me for being blessed with looks, brains, talent and untouchable charisma.""Why do you get him started?" asks Yoongi, and it doesn't sound quite right but Taehyung appreciates the effort. "You know he's going to tell the story about the time he got scouted while he was on the bus.""Jimin and Jeongguk have never heard that story!" says Seokjin, and he launches into his endless tale about a modeling company who wanted his face on a billboard that's even more confusing when he's drunk, and Taehyung takes some deep breaths and tries to prepare.When Seokjin finally stops talking, Taehyung says, "Right, yes, you're the best at getting scammed on buses for being pretty. Todd?""I have great hair," he says. "And a very pretty, very young boyfriend.""Oh yeah? Where is he?" asks Yoongi, and Seokjin throws his other shoe at him.Jimin says he likes his eyes, which Taehyung agrees with wholeheartedly, and Taehyung says he's very proud of his most recent perfect exam score which gets him heckled by Seokjin for being a nerd. Hoseok takes a long minute, either to think or to remember what words are given the smell of alcohol coming off of him, before his face breaks into a hard smile and he says, "I like that I'm independent and don't rely on anyone but me.""You literally have a trust fund," says Yoongi, raising an eyebrow. "You don't even work."It's surprisingly aggressive, and Taehyung rushes to say, "I wish I had a trust fund! I'd buy a different pair of shoes for every day of the week.""You already have way more than seven pairs of shoes," says Jimin, pushing him gently."Right, but they'd be nicer ones," says Taehyung.Jeongguk snorts. "You two are just alike," he says, gesturing between Taehyung and Hoseok with his bottle. "Shallow and self-absorbed."Taehyung freezes, not sure what to say, but it doesn't matter because Hoseok is already snapping, "Leave him the fuck out of it."Yoongi's hand is still in Jeongguk's, and Taehyung watches the muscle in his forearm flex. "Don't start," says Yoongi to Hoseok."What, because he can't handle it or something? He's not a fucking kid, even if he acts like a brat, and he just insulted me. And your friend. You should be pissed at him too, shouldn't you?"Yoongi doesn't say anything, and Taehyung realizes with a pit in his stomach that Yoongi's not pissed because he thinks it's the truth, maybe about them both, but definitely about Taehyung. Shallow, and self-absorbed, and not as important to keep safe as Jeongguk. Yoongi loves honesty, after all.Taehyung suddenly wants to be very small, all he wants to do is to leave this circle and go be invisible somewhere for a bit, but he can't be very small right now because it's Jin's birthday and they're having fun."Yugyeom, it's your turn," he says determinedly, almost harshly, putting a restraining hand on Hoseok's shoulder.Yugyeom's eyes are wide as he looks between them all, but he starts chattering easily as he always does. "Gosh, I don't know. It's so easy to think about things I like about all of you, but I'm not much at all. Are you sure I can't just say one nice thing about everyone else? That would be really easy."Jeongguk leans over and says, "No way, there's lots of good stuff about you."It sounds a little bit like he's crying, but he has his hoodie up and it's hard to see what's going on in its shadows. And Yoongi hugs him, flat out hugs him like he ever does that to people, and Taehyung realizes the sun is starting to go down. His head is spinny, and floaty, and the sun is going down, and it's so cold."Yeah," Taehyung says to Yugyeom. He tries to laugh. "But it might be tricky because it has to be something nice about you, not just a long brag about perfect Jeongguk. Just being related to him doesn't count as a skill!"And another silence falls, this one more twisted than before because Taehyung can hear the echos of his words coming back to him over and over again. And Yugyeom starts stammering about how of course he can't take credit for anything Jeongguk does, apologizing over and over again for things that he doesn't specify, and he says he'll come up with something good about himself but maybe he needs to use the bathroom first. He stands up, still talking, looking vaguely around him like he's not sure where to go, and Jeongguk stands up with him, and so does Yoongi.Jimin follows with a whispered, "Sorry but I really have to pee," to Taehyung, and they all leave in a their new sports team. Seokjin is snoring against Todd's chest, and Todd looks at Taehyung awkwardly, the way two people do when their only common link is passed out from margarita consumption."I think we'd better go home now," he says, picking Seokjin up like he doesn't weigh anything. "Thanks for the party, though, it was really fun. Sorry we can't help clean up."Taehyung smiles mechanically. "It's his birthday, you shouldn't have to clean up. Thanks for coming."They leave a little more quickly than is polite, and then it's just him and Hoseok, sitting on a beach alone."Fuck," says Hoseok, very quietly, his head in his hands, and Taehyung can't think of anything else to add.The ride home is excruciating.They take Hoseok to his temporary home first, because he came with Yugyeom and Jeongguk but Taehyung is pretty sure you're an accomplice if you let a friend get into a car with someone he wants to kill. Taehyung sits in the back, even though it makes him sick, putting Jimin in shotgun with a whispered apology that Jimin brushes off sweetly. Hoseok leans against him the whole ride, a Hoseok who's lost his anger inside of turmoil, and Taehyung knows how he feels."I hate to fight with people," he whispers to Hoseok while he pats his head and looks everywhere but Yoongi. Yoongi whose eyes can see them in the rearview mirror but are never looking. "Things will be better in the morning."Hoseok doesn't answer, and when they get there Taehyung follows him out to the sidewalk and gives him a big hug. He says it's for Hoseok in his brain, but he knows it's really for both of them, because he's going to have to get back in that car and go back to the dorm and spend all night thinking about how he's the meanest person in the world. Yugyeom hadn't even been able to say goodbye to him, not that Jeongguk would let him anyway, and Taehyung had only been able to look at Yugyeom's puffy eyes and pale cheeks helplessly as they drove away."Don't cry, Tae," says Hoseok. "Please. I can't take it.""Okay," says Taehyung, his eyes already wet and drippy. "I won't."Hoseok laughs, just a single, sad breath which is worse than tears. He leaves, and Taehyung gets back in the back seat alone, and no one says a word until Yoongi pulls into the parking garage."Jimin, can you get back okay? I need to talk to Taehyung."Taehyung hadn't known this is how he would die, but it makes sense. And he deserves it, so he smiles wanly at worried Jimin as he gets out of the car. Jimin looks back at them both briefly when he reaches the stairs, and Taehyung wishes he were going with him."Why did you do that?" asks Yoongi into the silence, and there's no need for him to explain what he's talking about. They both know."I didn't mean -" Taehyung begins.Yoongi cuts him off with a snarl, and he'd sounded calm when he'd spoken to Jimin but now Taehyung can hear the anger in his voice, the barely disguised contempt, the absolute disgust, and Taehyung wants to cry for real, silent and steady down his cheeks forever."I'm not asking what you meant. I'm asking why you did it.""We all tease each other," says Taehyung, but he knows it's not the same.And Yoongi senses it. He's still facing the windshield, hands tight around the steering wheel, but his eyes flick up to meet Taehyung's in the mirror. "Sure, Jin for being handsome or you for being over-confident or me for being boring. Shit we can take. People who can take it. But Yugyeom's just a kid, Tae, a kid with no filter who fucking worships you. I don't care how pissed you are at someone. I don't care who you're trying to impress. I don't care how much you've had to drink. What would ever make you think that was okay?""He doesn't worship me," says Taehyung. "He just… look, I shouldn't have said it, but it wasn't that bad. Everyone knows he talks about Jeongguk all the time. He knows it. I'm sure he'll be fine."Yoongi slams his hand on the dashboard. "He won't be fine. I wish you could have heard him in the bathroom, so sorry to us for talking so much, to Jeongguk for embarrassing him, to you for having to put up with it. You know what he said? That you're so nice that you never even would have thought to say it if he weren't too annoying for anyone to deal with. That if he can make you say something, he must have been unbearable to everyone else. He'll think about that every time he talks for the rest of his life, probably, and you did that to him. And you say it wasn't that bad?""I'm sorry," says Taehyung, his hands on his cheeks. Not doing anything, just being there, holding him together. "I'm sorry, okay? He's really nice, and he's never hurt me, and I shouldn't have said it like that in front of everyone. But he is annoying! Maybe he should finally know, and that will help him make some other friends.""So you're saying you were trying to do him a fucking favor or something?""No! I shouldn't have said it, of course I shouldn't have. But you at least have to admit I was right.""You know that he talks about you as much as Jeongguk," says Yoongi, hard and unforgiving. "Maybe more. All the time. Taehyung did this, and Taehyung said that, and Taehyung gave me something, like a fucking pen, or a bag of chips he didn't want, and isn't Taehyung the greatest person ever? He used to come to my room to ask me for tips on being your friend. Trying to be close to you so hard, and you never let him in. And I didn't say anything, because the only thing worse than not being close is being condescended to, but all he's ever wanted was for you to like him. And you just dissed him in front of everyone.""I get it, okay?" says Taehyung, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I get it. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry first thing tomorrow. I'll say it until he knows I really mean it."Yoongi blows out a frustrated breath. "This isn't a sorry. This isn't something you can fix with a smile and a hug and have it all be okay.""What else can I do, though?" asks Taehyung. "What do you want me to do, Yoongi? Rewind time? Quit school? Jump off the building? What impossible thing do you want me to do to fix all of the things I'm fucking up all the time? Tell me, I'll do it! I'll find a way to be perfect and maybe then you'll be satisfied for once!"Yoongi twists around in his seat, words primed on his lips, but Taehyung doesn't let him say them. "And why aren't you yelling at Jeongguk right now? He was just as shitty to me as I was to Yugyeom. Shittier, because he meant it to be mean, and I didn't mean it. I know I was but I didn't mean it, and it's not fair that you hugged him and you're yelling at me!""That's not the same.""Why not?" says Taehyung, no longer tear-filled, so mad that he can't see straight. "Because I'm supposed to be able to handle it? Because I'm one of those people it doesn't bother when his friend calls him conceited and shallow and self-absorbed? Because I'm good at smiling, so it's okay if stupid Jeongguk calls me names? Why does it always have to be me who's the good one? Why do I have to take it all the time, and be happy, and manage everyone's insecurities for them? Maybe that's not fair either!"Yoongi's eyes reveal nothing, like he's a stranger, like he's not anyone that Taehyung knows. "Because Yugyeom wasn't even involved, and you took it out on him anyway.""I wasn't involved either!" says Taehyung. "I wasn't doing anything, and Jeongguk punched me with his words. And you didn't even tell him to stop! You just told Hoseok to stop, because you hate Hoseok and you love Jeongguk and you didn't choose me. You said you would always choose me and you didn't. So you're a liar. Even Hoseok yelled at him, and Hoseok never yells at anyone!""Hoseok's bad for you," says Yoongi bluntly, tangentially, complete-missed-the-pointedly. "You know that, right? Ever since he showed up you've gotten mean. Arrogant. Cruel. He feeds all the worst parts of you.""At least he fights for me instead of against me. At least he cares when someone hurts me, not just when I hurt someone else," says Taehyung wildly. "He told me not to cry tonight, because it makes him sad, because he cares about me so much. But you don't care if I'm sad, I guess. You don't care about me at all. You think all my parts are the worst parts."Yoongi doesn't say anything, and Taehyung gives up trying to be dignified and sobs into his legs. He hopes Jeongguk is somewhere crying, too, and then he thinks Jeongguk is probably in Yoongi's room, waiting for him, and Yoongi won't yell at him when he sees him. He'll hug him, and stroke his hair, and tell him everything will be okay.Taehyung sobs harder, his empty hands clutching at his knees, and Yoongi's in the front seat watching him, and he doesn't say anything at all.Eventually he doesn't have any moisture left and he gets the hiccups, so he stops crying but he stays folded over into his legs because he doesn't want to see Yoongi's face and know what it looks like right now. There are a lot of things he never wants to do in his life, but that's definitely the biggest one. His breath smells a little bit like margaritas, and he wonders if margaritas make everyone cry more. He wonders that so he doesn't have to wonder other things, like if this is the last time he's ever going to talk to Yoongi.Even though he won't look at Yoongi's face, he can still hear his voice, disembodied and strange. It has no inflection at all when it says, "Are you okay?""No."The voice sighs. "I'm going to drive around for awhile," it says. "I need to think."It's a dismissal, clear and strong, and Taehyung feels a piece of him crack like mirror glass, like pressing your foot against an icy laketop as it starts to thaw in spring's heat.So Taehyung slides across the bench to the door, and he opens it, and he's crying again from some hidden well of tears as he runs to the stairs where Jimin had disappeared. He wishes he was with Jimin now, that he was with Hoseok now, that he was with anyone now, but he's not. It's just him in a dirty stairway wearing beach clothes for someone's birthday, and he doesn't think he can walk down the stairs now so he sits down on the first step and tries to breathe past the constricting knot in his chest.He gets a text as he's breathing, and he reads, Tell me when you get back to your room from Yoongi's number, and if this day hadn't just happened Taehyung would smile about how Yoongi texts like someone's mom. But the day had happened, and it's just an RA doing his job and not a friend, so Taehyung shuts off his phone and goes back to the dorm, still trying to breathe.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I need to sleep," says Taehyung into the dark of his room.The dark of his room doesn't answer, because it never has, and Taehyung rolls over onto his stomach and tries not to sniffle. It's been hours since he's locked himself inside his own space, phone off, laptop hidden under his bed, no other vestiges of humanity to distract him from the business of keeping himself under control. He doesn't feel under control, not really, and he thinks this is alcohol. It's all alcohol's fault that he feels like this, and not anything to do with Yugyeom, or Yoongi, or Jeongguk, or anything like that. This is why he doesn't drink.And the longer he hides in his room, the more it feels like none of it happened, and when he wakes up in the morning everything will be better somehow. Maybe not all okay, but better.Somehow.But in order to get to the morning he needs to sleep, and he can't. He's tried his back, his stomach, his sides, even with his legs hanging off of the bed like they had when he was young but it's not working. Instead he just keeps hearing snatches of words, seeing faces he doesn't want to remember, leaking tears at random intervals that he can't stop no matter how hard he tries. He's so awake that he thinks maybe he'll never sleep again.He sits up with a frustrated grunt and gives up on waiting for his brain to calm down. He needs a plan. A personal growth plan. He'd failed, clearly, in some fundamental way, and the only way to stop another failure was to make himself better. He's done it before, and he can do it again, if he can just find the right key to fit into the lock. He's good, but he needs to be better, and he can do that. He can do anything.Taehyung pads over to his desk, rubbing his eye with a fist and fighting back a yawn, then takes out the cleanest, whitest sheet of paper he can find and writes Operation Taehyung Enhancement across the top in his most beautiful calligraphy. It looks good in black ink with swirls, and he already feels a little better just to have that much done. He picks up a different pen, a purple pen, and writes a boxy number one as he thinks.But he doesn't have to think very hard, because it's obvious what his first failure was.
1. Be real friends with Yugyeom
He stares at it for awhile, trying to figure out what that looks like. What that feels like. He thinks about Jimin, about the way Jimin makes him feel and the way he wants to make Jimin feel, and he reaches into his desk drawer for the bound pages that are Yugyeom's studying tips. Taehyung touches the paper carefully, reading through them line by line, imagining how much work it must have been to put something together like this in a night, how much concern and love must burst out of a person to do it. How he'd flipped through it once, then put it in a drawer and never thought about it again.He sets the pages reverently on his desk, to the right of his workspace, and crosses out his first step to rewrite it.
1. Be a real friend to Yugyeom
It's no easier to execute, but it's much more honest.Taehyung needs three more steps, because this is a big operation but the best operations never have more than four steps, so he sucks on the ends of various colored pens as his brain turns over. His tears have stopped now that he has something to think about, now that he's finally doing something, and before long he realizes he has the perfect three directives already, if he's brave enough to write them down.Conceited, and shallow, and self-absorbed.It takes him twenty minutes to get brave enough, but eventually he has a colorful plan of just the right number of steps, and he leaves it there as he crawls back in bed, his mind finally quieting into sleep. The morning will come, and it will be better, and he's got a plan.
2. Say thank you five times a day
3. Have one philosophical thought before lunch
4. Love someone else more than yourself
A knock on his door wakes him up before he's ready, but it's mid-morning so it's okay. Taehyung scratches a hand through his hair as he sits up, looks apprehensively at his improvement plan and turns it over, then opens the door with his most hopeful smile.He'd been so sure it would be Yoongi that it's almost a disappointment to see Hoseok.But not much of one, and Taehyung says good morning before he notices how many bags he has. "Are you leaving town again?""I'm hoping I can take you up on your offer to stay," says Hoseok.His voice is nearly gone, hoarse like he's used it too much or not at all, and Taehyung motions him in and grabs a water bottle."It's room temperature but it's wet," says Taehyung. "And of course you can stay. I'm actually about to leave, so you can even get some sleep if you need to. You look like you need to."Hoseok drops his stuff and nods, rubbing a hand over his face before drinking the water. He's not smiling at all, like his face has forgotten how, and the red of his eyes looks painful enough that Taehyung's ache in sympathy."I hate this," he says quietly."Me too," says Taehyung."I don't know what to do.""Sleep. Eat. Make a plan."Hoseok sighs. "That easy, huh?"Taehyung shakes his head. "Simple, but not easy. If it were easy it wouldn't matter so much.""When did you get so smart?" asks Hoseok, and he falls heavily on the bed and motions for a hug, which Taehyung delivers.But when Hoseok tries to get him to lay down, too, Taehyung wiggles away. "I have my own plan today."He picks up his paper from his desk and folds it carefully, slipping it into his jeans pocket as he gets dressed. Hoseok watches him, but with unfocused disinterest instead of lechery, and Taehyung feels a worm of worry slide into his heart. "Are you going to be okay?""Today? Sure," says Hoseok. "On the cosmic scale of life?" His voice hitches, and he closes his eyes like he can't keep them open anymore. "I'm not being myself. I hate who I'm being right now. But the more I try to get what I want the farther away I get from having it, and what if I've fucked everything up? What if I'm never me again?""I don't know that I can answer that," says Taehyung, trying to be truthful. "I don't really know what's going on, and I've never felt like I wasn't me. But today I'm going to go say sorry a hundred thousand times and never make any excuse, and I think that's going to make me better. You could try it.""Yeah," says Hoseok. "I could."Taehyung gives him a kiss on the forehead, though it seems like Hoseok is already falling asleep. "There's nothing so fucked up it can't be unfucked," whispers Taehyung. "Whatever it is, you'll fix it.""Deep thoughts by Tae," says Hoseok, a little huff of breath escaping him. He opens his eyes with effort, and they're full of regret. "I'll start with you, then. I'm sorry if I screwed things up for you.""For me?""With Yoongi. I saw him downstairs.""Oh," says Taehyung. "It's not… it's not like that. But we'll be okay. We're always okay."He touches his pocket and turns to go, mentally crossing off number three on his list, and Hoseok is already asleep before he's gone.He runs into Jimin in the bathroom, and it's a relief to see someone who doesn't actively hate him and isn't crying. Instead Jimin hugs him like he knows he needs it, and he puts toothpaste on his brush with gentle care. Taehyung says a deliberate thank you, then frowns when he sees Jimin doesn't have a toothbrush in his own hands. "Were you just hanging out in here waiting for me?""Your phone is off," says Jimin, ducking his head. "And I didn't want to wake you up.""You're so sweet," says Taehyung, smiling. "But it's okay. I have a plan. So I can't hang out with you until tomorrow, but by the time you see me again I'll be a much better person."It's a measure of how deep their best friendship has become that Jimin doesn't even ask him what he means. He just tucks into Taehyung's side while he brushes, being a comforting presence, and Taehyung scratches his head in return. When he's done, he kisses Jimin's forehead with a minty mouth and says, "You're the best person I've ever met. Definitely the best person whose forehead I've kissed today.""Have there been a lot?""More than you'd think," says Taehyung. He hesitates, because Hoseok is going through a breakdown and he's still not supposed to matchmake, but surely it doesn't count to just give a friend information. Even if it's good information for crushes. "Hoseok is staying with me for a little bit.""Oh wow," says Jimin. "That's nice.""Yeah," says Taehyung. "I hope so. But he's really sad, and I don't know if I can help him."Jimin pats him on the stomach. "If anyone can help someone, you can."Taehyung puts his toothbrush in its case with a sigh. "I don't know. If you could check in on him today, that would be good. He's just… he's really unhappy. More unhappy than he's ever been, and I think he's been unhappy the whole time I've known him. And he never talks about it. I'm worried."Jimin makes sympathetic sounds, saying he'll do what he can. Taehyung thanks him again, and when he goes to put his caddy back in its place, the closed stall door behind them opens and Jeongguk steps out with his unreadable face and muscled frame. He stares directly at Taehyung as he does, challenging, and he doesn't say anything at all.Taehyung freezes, because he knows Jeongguk hadn't come in while they were talking, and his face isn't that unreadable after all because his eyes are big and the same red as Hoseok's and yesterday is suddenly sharp and painful again.Jeongguk stares at him for a long moment before wiping a forearm across his eyes and turning to leave, and Taehyung grabs him before he has time to think. Shallow, and self-absorbed, and Jeongguk doesn't know anything about him but that isn't the point. It doesn't matter what Jeongguk thinks, it matters how Taehyung is, and if Taehyung can do this he can do anything."I'm sorry," he says, and Jeongguk isn't looking at him now but he's not trying to leave anymore. "I don't know… I don't know what for. But I'm sorry. I wish we could be friends. I want to be your friend, Jeongguk. So I'm sorry. And thank you for being so good to Yugyeom. He loves you a lot."At that Jeongguk stiffens, and he glares at him with a new anger. And Taehyung deserves it, so he takes it, because there's nothing else he can do.Jeongguk opens his mouth like he's going to say something, then snaps it shut and rips his arm out of Taehyung's hand. He leaves like he's running, like he wants to be anywhere but here, and Taehyung turns back to Jimin with a weak smile. He shrugs like it's okay, like it's not a terrible start to his plan, and says, "I guess that's a no on being friends.""Try again tomorrow," says Jimin softly."Yeah," says Taehyung, just as soft. "I'll try again tomorrow."He hadn't thought about the fact that Jeongguk lives with Yugyeom, and he doesn't know if risking being murdered is how to be a real friend to someone, but he knocks on their door with that fear in his heart and the memory of study tips bright across his mind. If Jeongguk answers the door, he'll just have to be brave.When it's Yugyeom, Taehyung breathes again."Hi Taehyung," says Yugyeom, and he's smiling but it looks like a dimmed light switch. "How are you?""Come to lunch with me," says Taehyung quickly. "My treat. Not the cafeteria, we can go somewhere. Anywhere you want."Yugyeom's smile, if anything, gets even dimmer. "That's nice, but you don't have to.""I want to," says Taehyung, not even having to reach for sincerity. "I really, really want to. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to go, but I really want to eat lunch with you."He doesn't know what his face looks like, but Yugyeom's expression lightens marginally. "I don't really have anything interesting to talk about," he says, swinging the door out in front of him to shield his body."First, you definitely do," says Taehyung. "Second, you can talk about anything you want, because I say so. Third, best friends are always interesting. Jin and I once talked for two straight hours about whether virgin olive oil or extra virgin olive oil is better for lube and it was still great!""You shouldn't use either," says Yugyeom. "They can weaken the integrity of condoms."Taehyung blinks at him, long enough that Yugyeom starts to look uncertain. "Right?""You could have saved me that entire horrible conversation," says Taehyung, groaning. "Oh my god he wouldn't shut up about it. Also remind me to text him about that later, because I don't want him to get Todd pregnant."Yugyeom laughs, and Taehyung giggles, and Yugyeom suddenly gives him a hug right around the waist, hard enough to shift Taehyung's organs around inside of him but he likes it. He likes it more than anything, and his eyes prickle with tears as he hugs him back."You didn't even let me say my sorries," he says, re-doubling his hug when Yugyeom shows signs of letting go. "I have so many sorries to give you. So hold on to some of this hug for later, okay?""You don't owe me any apologies," says Yugyeom into his chest. "None at all. I'm just so happy you're still my friend.""I'm the happy one," says Taehyung, finally letting him go and smiling. It wobbles, he knows, and Yugyeom's wobbles even harder, and Taehyung slashes the air between them like it's a karate board. "No crying! I am so hungry and I have a thousand apologies to give and if I cry now I won't stop. You're just a great person, and that's it, and that's all we're going to say until we get to the restaurant."Yugyeom's laughing again by the end, and he nods agreement, and then he says, "How can we know where we're going if we can't talk?""Fine we can talk about restaurants. And lubricants. That's it."They make good on their promise as they decide on fast casual Italian and make their way into the sunny day. Taehyung grabs Yugyeom's hand as they walk, like it's Jimin, like it's Yoongi, and there's a part of him that thought he might feel false and condescending, the things Yoongi said were worse than not being liked at all, but he doesn't. Yugyeom fits with him, not in the same way as everyone else but in his own way, and Taehyung wonders why he never saw it before. It's so easy, and he'd never even noticed.He wonders what other things he might have been missing out on this whole time.When they sit down Yugyeom is still quiet, though, a little uncertain, and Taehyung puts one of his garlic breads on Yugyeom's plate to break the ice.And it works, briefly, because Yugyeom laughs, his face blinking on like the sun. "Jeongguk always gives me his garlic bread, too, so he has more room for pasta," he says, then claps a hand over his mouth in horror. "I'm sorry."Taehyung reaches over and pulls the hand away less gently than he probably should. "No.""I don't mean to. I just can't help it," says Yugyeom unhappily."Then don't. You can talk about anyone you want," says Taehyung. "Anything you want. It's good that you're proud of Jeongguk. He's done so many things, and he's your family, and you love him. That's good. I'm sorry if I made you think that wasn't good. That's one of my sorries.""But it's annoying when I talk about him," mumbles Yugyeom."Only because I know I'll never measure up," says Taehyung, sighing. "Not because of you. I just get jealous. That's not your fault.""But you're the coolest person I know," says Yugyeom. He sounds almost accusatory, like Taehyung has committed a crime right in front of him. "You can't get jealous of people."Taehyung opens his mouth for an airy agreement, then stops himself. "Thank you," he says. "But I'm not that cool. And that's another sorry, if I ever made you feel like that. Like I'm cooler than you, or that you had to work to get me to like you. Because I'm not, and you don't, and if anyone ever makes you feel like that then they're a bad person, okay? Really bad. Because you're nice just like you are."He's sniffling again, and he picks up his napkin and blows into it so hard that everyone looks at him."And I think, I think," he says, blowing again. "I think you've been the best friend to me but I haven't been to you, and I'm going to do better, okay? I'm going to do everything in the world. And you can talk about Jeongguk all you want, whenever you want, but I think you should talk about you more. Because I love you a lot."Yugyeom grabs his own napkin and blows into it, and Taehyung wants to hug him again so he stands up and does it, and he's crying into his hair, and he says through his tears, "Oh my god everyone's going to think that we're breaking up with each other."And that makes Yugyeom laugh, and Taehyung hiccups which makes them laugh even harder, and the entire restaurant probably hates them but Taehyung doesn't care even a little bit.Lunch is great, and Taehyung doesn't know if it's because he's becoming a better person or because Yugyeom is taking his advice to talk about himself more, but it's the best conversation they've ever had. Yugyeom is really funny, it turns out, not Seokjin-level funny but with a more innocent kind of humor that fits well with his own constantly blinking gaze, and he has a way of pushing his glasses up his nose right before he tells one that's very endearing as a tic.The only thing Taehyung can't follow at all is Yugyeom's major, which is some kind of advanced math degree that Taehyung loses track of as soon as he gets past basic statistics. But he never understands Yoongi when he talks about machine nonsense and he's gotten very good at nodding like he's following everything with ease so he does that here too and Yugyeom seems satisfied.And when Taehyung tells his only math joke, the seven eight nine one that had made Jimin giggle helplessly, Yugyeom pretends he's never heard it before and Taehyung knows that they've finally reached peak friendship.But the best part of the lunch comes at the end, when Taehyung's spider senses tingle and he looks across the restaurant and meets the gaze of a pretty blonde girl who's looking at him like she knows him. She waves, a medium-level friendliness wave, and Taehyung waves back gamely but he has no memory of her face."Who's that?" he asks, tucking the last ravioli into his mouth and chewing through it.Yugyeom turns around and then immediately turns back, his face turning red. "Oh, that's Lisa. She's in my major.""She waved at me. Why did she wave at me?""She's seen your picture," says Yugyeom. "In study group. We're in one together, for our math classes. At the library. And she was at the frat party we went to. She's in a sorority so they always go, I guess. I think you saw her there."Taehyung's entire brain lights up as Yugyeom rambles. "Is she the one you were dancing with?"Yugyeom nods, very small. "Just a little bit.""I see," says Taehyung, grinning, and he looks back at the table full of girls who all wave this time.He waves back even more enthusiastically, and Lisa stands up and tugs her sweater dress down. She's wearing very colorful leggings and a million bracelets, and Taehyung already approves of the entire vibe. "She's coming over," he says happily.Yugyeom's red checks vanish into ash, and he starts rearranging his plastic utensils with the focus of a waiter at a five-star hotel."Hello!" says Taehyung when she gets close enough. "You're Lisa!""I am," she says, smiling, and she has a very friendly smile. "You're Taehyung.""Probably, but who can say," says Taehyung. "What are you doing here?""Eating?" she says."Right! A perfect activity. I'm just getting some advice from my only straight friend in the whole world about heterosexual TV shows," says Taehyung. "Because Yugyeom is extremely straight, and I'm very gay."Yugyeom coughs, and Taehyung smiles at him. "It's good to share knowledge!"Lisa puts a hand over her mouth to cover her even broader smile. "You're just like Yugyeom said you were.""Thank you!" says Taehyung. "Hey, will you keep my seat warm? I have to pee really bad and I hate coming back to a cold seat.""Sure," she says, switching with him willingly. She touches one of her bracelets, her own tic, and says, "Hey Yugyeom. Are you coming to study group after this?""Oh, I'm not sure," says Yugyeom, his voice suddenly a little deeper, and Taehyung backs away with two big thumbs up behind her back. This isn't matchmaking at all, he tells himself, because Lisa has already forgotten he exists and Yugyeom's staring at the table in the universal symbol for heart-wrenching love.The table full of girls laughs as he passes them, and he waves with another thumbs up, and he takes a really long time in the bathroom just to be safe. He sits on the sink counter and swings his legs, reading over his plan and nodding happily at his progress. Being Yugyeom's real friend is a long process, but they've started well, and he's thanked four people, five if he counts the cash register boy, and he'd had a philosophical thought with Hoseok. The last goal is still a little nebulous, but he certainly feels full of love now.He slides his still-off phone out of his pocket, turning it over in his hand, wondering if it's time to turn it back on. The idea of seeing it light up twists his stomach a little because there are probably messages on it for him - he gets a lot of messages all the time - but he doesn't know who they'll be from.He's a little worried who might still be missing.Before he loses his nerve, he powers it up and waits for the world to connect to him again. As expected it starts buzzing with messages, from people he knows a little to people he knows a lot to his closest friends. Seokjin sent a birthday thanks, along with his standard promise to never drink tequila again which is always empty, and Jimin had sent him some cute hamster pictures that Taehyung loves a lot, and Hoseok said he was going out and he'd left the door unlocked.And there's a message from Yoongi, which Taehyung opens as quickly as he can. There's no words, just pictures from yesterday, the ones of him and Seokjin. He looks happy in them, smiling with his whole being with Seokjin squished up next to him like they're conjoined twins. It's sunny and warm of heart and full of a life that's like the echo of a memory of a ghost. There's love inside of the shots, next to him and in front of him and around him, and he flicks through them more slowly than he means to.There's a half-dozen pictures, mostly the same angle, and Seokjin's face changes more than his own. Taehyung's is immobile in joy, and he remembers being happy like that but he can't feel it right now. Not yet. Because Yoongi hadn't said any words, and he doesn't know what these pictures mean. He always knows what Yoongi means, and not knowing is like missing an arm. A soul-arm.He hops down from the counter, looking quickly at his face in the mirror to see if he looks better. Less conceited. Deeper. Thinking about other people.His reflection frowns as he realizes a mirror is counter to all of those aims, so he reluctantly goes back to the restaurant proper where Yugyeom and Lisa haven't missed him seemingly at all. Yugyeom's even looking at her now, and the smile on his face is absolutely adorable if Taehyung says so himself.Taehyung sidles up to them apologetically and says, "Hey guys, sorry, I need to get going. I have personal growth to do. But you should stay and talk before your study group!""Oh," says Yugyeom, looking at Lisa. "Is that okay?"She blushes a little and says yes, and Yugyeom only looks a little terrified when he turns back to Taehyung, and Taehyung claps briskly."Fantastic," he says, holding out his hand to shake. "Lisa, please come by our dorm every day forever, okay? We'd love to see you."Yugyeom squeaks, then claps a hand over his mouth, and Taehyung takes it in his free hand, then puts his two hands together in another clap. Their fingers brush, and hold, and Taehyung yells a goodbye as he turns around and sprints for the exit as fast as he can.Taehyung looks at his phone the whole walk back, touching his plan with his other hand, and he knows exactly where he's going. He feels like an arrow loosed from a bow, momentum behind him carrying him to his end, and he can only hope that whatever released him knew what it was doing. That he's heading for the center ring and not sailing past the target entirely, into the void.He thinks about texting Yoongi that he's coming, then walks faster instead. Surely he's forgiven. Yoongi had sent him pictures of happiness and he hadn't yelled at all. That means forgiveness. It has to mean it, especially because he has his plan.He's practically jogging by the time he gets to the dorm, and the desk attendant yells at him to slow down as he trots past. But Taehyung doesn't want to slow down, he's not even sure that he can slow down, and he skids to a stop in front of Yoongi's door with his heart pounding wildly."Yoongi," he says, knocking on the door in broken rhythm. "Yoongi, are you there?'He listens carefully but there's no sound of anyone inside, no pulsing music or shuffling feet or cooking noises, and he deflates slightly. But he rallies as best he can, reaching for patience, consoling himself with the fact that Yoongi has to be back before too long for his RA duties. He makes his way back to the desk with his most winning smile and says, "Hey, do you know where Yoongi is?"The attendant sighs. "Probably home. Like I wish I was.""No, I just knocked. He's not there.""Home, not here," says the guy, like Taehyung's an idiot. "He said he didn't know when he'd be back. A couple of weeks? Before finals I guess. It's going to be a mess around here, that's all I know.""But Yoongi lives here," says Taehyung. He can hear the empty quality of his voice, matching his mind, which feels like a cave that's gone dark. "He's going to sleep here tonight. He always does."The attendant shrugs, clearly losing interest, and Taehyung says, "He does. You're wrong. I'm going to show you that you're wrong."He spins on his heel and runs back to Yoongi's room, digging into his pockets for the key which slides in easily on the first try, which it never does, which only increases his anxiety. He runs into the punishing dark of Yoongi's room and flips on the lights with a violent click.There's no mess on the counters, but Yoongi's neat so there never is. Instead he runs over to the closet and starts digging through it, more and more frantically as he sees how much stuff is missing. All of his warm clothes, and his scarves and jackets and mittens that are so stupid in California but Yoongi always has them, black with little patterns and they're not here. Which means Yoongi isn't here, which means north isn't north, because Taehyung hadn't even felt it when he left. Yoongi hadn't even told him, and that's not forgiveness at all.He screws his eyes shut, fighting against the panic, and he breathes as he thinks about other things that might have happened. That might be. An emergency, maybe, which would be bad but also good, and he marches back to the kitchen and pulls out his phone to type.
You went home? Is everything okay with your parents?
There's no answer right away, and Taehyung stares at his screen furiously, daring it to stay silent. Other people message him but he ignores it, locked on this chat thread with Yoongi which he never uses for anything but reminders about dorm inspection dates. And pictures of Taehyung and Seokjin being happy, before Taehyung had ruined everything.It feels like years, but it's more like ten minutes before Yoongi says, They're fine. They say hi.Hi back, is what he says, but what he means is why didn't you tell me you were going, and when are you coming back, and what does it mean that you didn't ask me to go, too. We always go home together, when we go, and now you're there without me and I'm here in your room that always has you in it, alone. And you're so responsible, and you have things to do and you left them behind.What does it mean that you left things behind?Yoongi doesn't reply, and Taehyung takes his improvement plan out of his pocket and lays it on the counter as his phone goes to sleep. Little circles appear on clean white page, dark gray patches that bleed the ink, and in the silence of the room he doesn't understand what they are for a long moment.Love someone else more than yourself are the first words to blur.And when he figures it out, the way he's crying yet again, the way that every day is just tears now, tears and apologies and missing the way things used to be, he lays his head down on the counter and lets it take him away.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I'm not hungry," says Taehyung. He tries to smile at Jimin, who looks so worried as he tries to put a cookie on his plate, and Jimin's worried face is heartbreaking but Taehyung's smile isn't working very well these days. "I think I'm still sick. You can have it."Jimin takes the cookie back but he doesn't eat it, just stares at Taehyung with his wide eyes and anxiety. Taehyung can feel him trying to will his being across the table, to heal him, and Taehyung wishes he could receive it but his cell towers are down and he's not at all connected to the world.Yoongi's been gone for ten days, and Taehyung's drifting.He'd tried to text him, a little, asking for pictures of their dogs and telling him news of what he was missing with all lower case and without any emojis. And Yoongi had answered in the same subdued tones, sending the requested pictures without complaint or commentary, thanking him for his updates without asking anything else. Taehyung wishes he were yelling at him, or even ignoring him. He wishes there were something there besides this, which is the politeness of being recognized without the interest of being cared about, and he's a tree being devoured from the inside by insects, hollow and ready to blow over with the slightest wind.Hoseok's still staying with him, and he's getting better somehow, the color coming back into his face day after day and Taehyung doesn't want to hate him but he does a little. He hates him for healing in a mysterious way that Taehyung can't access, because there are things Taehyung isn't thinking about yet. Because what's the point if everyone has a number, if number one had been so close and left without asking.His phone chirps and he grabs at it with a stupid, hoping heart that's dashed when he sees the screen. "Jin wants me to go over to his place," says Taehyung. "Sounds important. Maybe someone is really dead this time. I'll see you later?""Yes! Come back to my room," says Jimin. "Don't go to yours. Come over and we'll watch a movie, okay?""Okay," says Taehyung, standing up with his still-full tray of food. He looks down at it, then Jimin, and he says, very quietly, "Thank you."Jimin says he loves him, and Taehyung says it back, and he heads over to Jin's place on mechanical feet. It's as good a place to go as any, he supposes, when you don't know where else to be.When he gets to Jin's building he runs into Hoseok coming out, and he blinks in the strongest show of surprise he can muster. "I didn't know you were coming here today. I thought you were looking for a job."That's what he'd been doing all day every day, barely even in Taehyung's room except to sleep, and even then he's only been getting a couple of hours at a stretch. Taehyung's been impressed with his industry, as much as he can be impressed with anything right now.Hoseok's face is manic, a huge grin across it, not the forced cheer of Hobi but a real happiness, a deep down happiness, and Taehyung's mind stirs slowly. "Did you find one?"Before Hoseok can answer, "I found your scarf," rings out behind him, and Jeongguk steps out of the building with his own happy smile.It vanishes when he sees Taehyung, like a cartoon coyote falling off a cliff, and Taehyung shrinks back. It's been like this the whole time, Taehyung apologizing to him every time he sees him and Jeongguk growing more and more agitated with him every day. When Taehyung goes to see Yugyeom, Jeongguk leaves, and if he sees him in the elevator Jeongguk jumps out and takes the stairs. He doesn't know what to do anymore, but he keeps trying, because when Yoongi comes back he doesn't want it to look like he hasn't tried.He tries again now, bringing up a smile from the depths of his soul. "Hi Jeongguk! I didn't know you would be here. Jin must have killed a lot of people this time."Hoseok laughs too loudly, throwing his head back as he lets go, and Taehyung stares at him. So does Jeongguk, and Hoseok eventually says, "You're a faster walker than I thought, Tae," which makes no sense at all.Taehyung's about to say goodbye, not at all up for the weirdness of this situation, when Hoseok looks at Jeongguk like he's asking for permission. And Jeongguk shrugs, which must mean something because Hoseok throws his arms around Tae and whispers, "Thank you. I can't ever thank you enough, but I'm going to try."Taehyung stares at Jeongguk over Hoseok's shoulder, utterly confused, and eventually says, "You're welcome?"That's seems to be the right response, because Jeongguk relaxes and Hoseok squeezes him and lets him go, and Taehyung can step back to safety. But it's not for long because to his complete and total shock Jeongguk steps in and takes his place, hugging Taehyung even more tightly and burying his face in his shoulder. Taehyung pats him on the back, once, like he's a leper or something, and Jeongguk says, "I'm sorry. I want to be friends with you, too. Is that still okay?""Of course," says Taehyung. He'll take whatever gifts he can get, these days. "You know where I live."Jeongguk steps back, his eyes wet with tears but a huge grin on his face and says, "Yeah. Yeah I do! I'll come find you.""Great," says Taehyung, patting him again on the shoulder. "I'm going to go see Jin now."They say their goodbyes, both of them still ridiculously happy, and Taehyung turns to watch them as they leave. Jeongguk loops a scarf around Hoseok's neck when they hit the street, businesslike and familiar, and Taehyung's glad they're not fighting anymore, at least. Must be the upcoming Christmas spirit, he supposes, and he doesn't understand it but it's fine. It's good when people like each other, even when it's a mystery.His confusion doesn't clear when he gets up to Seokjin's place and is greeted like he's the one who's been murdered. "Taehyung!" says Seokjin, hands fluttering in concern. "You're early. How are you?""I'm good," says Taehyung. "I saw Hoseok and Jeongguk downstairs. They're acting weird.""You saw them?" asks Seokjin, his concern levels rising. "Oh my god, how are you?""I'm good?" says Taehyung again. "Have you hit your head or something? Do you need a doctor?"Seokjin hustles him over to the couch as Todd emerges from their kitchen with Mountain Dew, which Taehyung knows both of them hate. They only keep it around for him and Yoongi, not that anyone would know it from the way Seokjin pours them all huge glasses and says, "Sweetie, you don't have to pretend with me, I know it's hard. You look absolutely terrible."Taehyung doesn't touch his drink, touching his face instead, wondering what terrible looks like. "It's fine. I'm fine. I can still fix it, I think.""Fix it?" says Seokjin. He looks at Todd and says slowly, "I think it's pretty final.""It can't be," says Taehyung, stomach dropping. "It's only been ten days!""One day," says Seokjin, confused. "Wait. What are you talking about?""What are you talking about?""The Hoseok and Jeongguk thing," says Seokjin."What thing?" asks Taehyung blankly, still stuck in panic at the things Yoongi might be telling Seokjin where he can't hear.Seokjin mouths, He's in denial at Todd before turning back to Taehyung. "I'm so sorry, but I think it's really serious. Marriage and babies serious. I can't believe Hoseok would play with your heart like this."Taehyung, with huge effort, forces himself to focus on the task at hand and says, "Wait, Hoseok and Jeongguk are dating? But they don't even like each other!""I think they do?" says Seokjin. "Maybe I should just tell you the story."Taehyung nods, interested against his will, and he settles back as Seokjin tells him a story in a horribly confusing way that only Todd's gentle interjections can unscramble. But in the end Taehyung thinks he has the story, which is:Hoseok met Jeongguk through Yugyeom during his summer in Korea, at gyms and pools and internet cafes and lazy riverside dates, and they fell in love (a love as big as oceans, Seokjin says dramatically), and that's the simple part. It was the simple part, always, and it remained simple because Jeongguk was going to go to Texas and become an Olympian, and Hoseok was going to follow him wherever he needed to go, and they had the rest of their lives to be together.Until Jeongguk's parents caught him sneaking out of swim practice to meet Hoseok in the stupid, obvious way of young lovers everywhere, and they wrenched the story out of their very guilty son.Todd's as angry as Taehyung's ever heard him when he lays out the Jeon's rationale for their next moves, which is that a young drifter from America with no dreams and no goals and no skills was no suitable companion for their destined child, and Seokjin spends several minutes soothing him before he continues the thread, that the Jeon's arranged Jeongguk's transfer to USC with incredible speed, assuming that would take care of the problem seamlessly. Because Jeongguk had agreed to end it, heartbroken but dutiful, and Hoseok had already arranged his educational plans with his own parents, and it was inconceivable that he would defy them. The distance would eliminate the threat.They hadn't understood Hoseok very well at all.So Hoseok had blown into LA like a hurricane, full of optimism and good humor, because he knew Jeongguk loved him, he'd said it a thousand times the night they said goodbye, and now they were a continent away from his family and no one needed to know anything about them. And that was the beginning of the end, really, because Jeongguk was horrified at Hoseok's willingness to lie, at his absolute unconcern for the future, at the way he'd dismantled his entire life without any plan at all. Jeongguk told him they were over, that he'd already said they were over and Hoseok should listen to him, that being in love wasn't the only thing in the world that mattered.Jeongguk had slightly undercut himself when he'd fallen into bed with Hoseok in the next breath, interrupted only when Yugyeom came back, oblivious and unexpected, but Jeongguk had told him to never come back anyway. And Hoseok had never listened, because Hoseok isn't the kind of person who listens, and they'd fought about it every day in between their make out sessions (hot and heavy and extremely illicit, Seokjin emphasizes with glee).But it came to a head when Hoseok's parents found out where he was, and Jeongguk realized Hoseok was even more out of control than he'd known, and he'd finally declared them over and meant it.At this point Taehyung demands popcorn, because he's fully invested and this is better than a drama, and Seokjin makes it as he recounts Hoseok's tearful promise to fix things with his parents, to go home until they were satisfied and be whatever Jeongguk needed him to be, to love him from afar or up close, to tell no one or everyone, to just be given a chance to still be with Jeongguk at the end of it.It's so intense in the retelling that Seokjin ends up making out with Todd as Taehyung eats his popcorn, and it's no wonder that Jeongguk had melted like delicious artificial butter and agreed to the plan. Agreed to a long-distance romance like a Victorian novel, to the promise of a happy ending for them both."What happened?" asks Taehyung, breathless, mouth full of kernels."I mean… you did," says Seokjin. "You kept sending Hoseok updates about what was going on, and about Yoongi's crush on Jeongguk and how happy Jeongguk was acting, and he went a little crazy. And Jeongguk didn't like that he was texting you at all, since you have a crush on him, and that caused friction too. So Hoseok came back. And, well, it didn't go well."A complete understatement, really, especially with Jeongguk's parents in town, and Jeongguk desperate to keep Hoseok away from them and Hoseok just as annoyed that every Korean Jeongguk knew was meeting them except for him. Whatever small reserve of patience he'd had was exhausted, and he wanted to run with Jeongguk to the horizon and never look back. He wanted chaotic freedom and romance and no boundaries, the open-world feeling of infinite horizons, and he'd pressed him and pressed him until they'd exploded.Taehyung knows that part well, the way Hoseok had wanted everything so fiercely, though Taehyung hadn't known his dream was so specific. He hadn't known even the smallest part of this, though as he searches through his memory it feels like he should have. Their fights and their tension and the way they'd been silently screaming at each other every day. Seokjin's birthday party, where Jeongguk had wept and Hoseok had hugged Taehyung like he was flying away."Wait a second, was he using me to make Jeongguk jealous or something?" asks Taehyung suddenly, beyond offended. "He was, wasn't he? The whole time! How could he do that?"Seokjin tries to comfort him, but Taehyung isn't interested. "I didn't have a crush on him, but he didn't know that! No wonder Jeongguk hated me so much. I would have hated me too, if some guy kept telling me he loved me and then put another guy on his lap! That's not number one love behavior at all. Jeongguk could do way better."Todd shifts, and Taehyung remembers that he's Hoseok's friend too, and he tries to calm down. "But I guess if Jeongguk can forgive him so can I. Whatever. But he can't stay in my room anymore. And he'd better apologize. I can't believe Jeongguk apologized to me and Hoseok didn't. What the hell."Todd promises that he'll apologize, then adds, "But you're also the reason they got back together. I guess you gave Hoseok some good advice. To apologize without excuse and to make himself better. And he did, the day you told Jeongguk he was staying at your place and they've been talking every day. Really talking. I guess it was going well for them. Well enough that they were going to try again more calmly. A little more slowly.""Less sex," adds Seokjin helpfully. He grins and adds, "At least that was the plan, until Hoseok went to Jeongguk's swim meet yesterday, where he hit his Olympic qualifying time and jumped out of the pool like a lunatic, hugged him sopping-ass wet, and kissed him in front of an entire swimming complex full of people. Including his parents.""Romantic," admits Taehyung reluctantly. "But stupid. They were just fighting like crazy two weeks ago. Slow would have been better if they want it to keep working. Hoseok is an apocalypse of emotions.""Don't ruin this," says Seokjin, slapping him in the shoulder. "When did you get so cynical about true love? Besides, now all of the parents know, and Hoseok's enrolling here in the spring to get his teaching degree, and the Jungs are so happy that Hoseok is dating an Olympian instead of a drug dealer that they forgave him on the spot, and the Jeons have given in thanks to Sports Illustrated capturing the moment and wanting to do an article, and it's all the happiest ending. Except for you and Yoongi, of course."Taehyung freezes. "Me and Yoongi?""Your crushes on them," says Seokjin. "You don't have to deny it, everybody knows. But it's no wonder Yoongi hasn't been answering my texts. Jeongguk says he's been talking to him about this for awhile, getting advice, and you know Yoongles is a sucker for wounded gazelles. I bet it's killing him that Jeongguk's back with Hoseok. Poor baby.""Yoongi doesn't have a crush on Jeongguk," says Taehyung, annoyed. Nervous. "He's said it a lot. And I don't have a crush on Hoseok, I just thought he was cute for awhile. But I couldn't now anyway because…"He trails off, horrified, as Jimin's sweet face rises in his mind. "Oh my god, I have to go. I have to go right now."Taehyung bolts off the couch, popcorn flying everywhere, and he's halfway out the door before he remembers his coat and goes back to grab it. Seokjin bustles behind him, a little uncertain, and says, "Are you okay? You're not going to cry in an abandoned building or something, right?""I'm fine. Thanks for telling me the story. Everything makes more sense now.""Hoseok was too embarrassed to tell you himself," says Seokjin. "But I'll tell him you're not mad, I guess?""Sure, great," says Taehyung, already out the door.He has a stitch in his side by the time he bursts into Jimin's room, startling Kunal so badly he falls out of his desk chair and onto the ground. But he's still breathing enough to complain about it, so Taehyung evaporates him from his mind as he doubles over to get his own air."Jimin," he says, panting. "Jimin, I have to tell you something."Jimin gapes, then sits up hurriedly and grabs Taehyung before he collapses. "Breathe first, please," says Jimin, leading him to the bed where he collapses with gratitude onto Jimin's pillows. "Just breathe.""But Hoseok's dating someone," says Taehyung, looking carefully at Jimin's expression. "Jeongguk."When it doesn't change, Taehyung frowns. "You don't seem surprised.""Yugyeom told me," says Jimin, stroking his forehead. "He was really excited. If he comes and tells you later, act surprised."Taehyung sits up, grabbing Jimin's shoulders in his hands. "So are you okay?""Of course," says Jimin, his nose wrinkling. "Why wouldn't I be okay? Other people can have boyfriends.""Because you have a crush on Hoseok," says Taehyung patiently. "It's okay, you told me."Jimin laughs, his hair tossing backwards. "Hoseok? No way. He's so loud! And not always very nice. And he pinches my cheeks all the time. Ugh.""But… then who is it?" says Taehyung. "You said he was cute and he's a good dancer. That has to be Hoseok!"There's a small silence, during which Jimin scratches his little fingers on Taehyung's knee, and Taehyung reaches down to cover his hand with his own. Jimin's eyes are soft, and happy, and Taehyung wants to know who that look is for more than anything."You don't have to tell me if you don't want," says Taehyung. "I can be good, still.""No, it's fine. I've just been embarrassed, I guess. Because he's older than me," says Jimin. "And really smart. I didn't really think I had much of a chance with him until recently, so I didn't want to say it out loud."Taehyung frowns, considering. "Is it Namjoon?""Oh," says Jimin, cheeks pinkening. "No, of course not. I mean, he never really asked me out, and I didn't hear from him again after, well, after, and when I invited him to the exhibition he never even came. I wouldn't be silly enough to like him anymore. No, it's someone who's a little closer than that…"Jimin looks at him like he should be figuring it out, but Taehyung has no idea at all. Someone close, who's older, and really smart, and cute, and good at dancing? That's not anyone he knows at all. The only really smart people he knows are Yugyeom, and Namjoon, and -His mind shuts off at that point, his eyes wide. "Oh my god. Yoongi?"He must sound as horrified as he feels, because Jimin's pink cheeks turn a vicious red. "You must think he's so far out of my league.""Of course not," says Taehyung, but he doesn't sound convincing even to his own ears. "It's just that Yoongi's a terrible dancer.""Maybe to you," says Jimin sharply. "I thought he was fine.""Ah, no, that's not what I meant," says Taehyung, wrapping his arms around his stomach and holding himself together. He's being a good person, he's being so good, and Jimin is his best friend in his bones. Even when his bones feel like they're melting. "I'm just surprised. I never thought of it, I guess. Yoongi dating someone."And that's true enough, because he still hasn't let himself think about it at all. Not about Yoongi dating, not about Taehyung dating, not about dating at all. He won't think about it while Yoongi is gone, but Jimin is looking at him hopefully and he has to have this conversation. To love people more than himself. "Do you think he likes you back?"He wonders if Jimin can feel the fear in his heart, the way his pulse is jumping like a dog on a trampoline, the things he's hiding. Jimin knows him so well, too well, and when Jimin's pleased eyes meet his own he knows this is the most difficult thing he'll ever do. It's a breathless moment, at the edge of a cliff, and Taehyung's going to fall.The moment breaks when Jimin smiles shyly, pressing his hands into his face, which is good because then he can't see Taehyung's expression anymore. He remembers Yoongi saying how Jimin is smart, how Taehyung acts stupid, and he wants to throw up all over the bed."I wasn't sure," says Jimin, talking into his hands. "I mean, he's so cool, right? And a little scary. I couldn't even look at him for a long time. But he was really sweet after the Seb thing, stopping by my room to make sure I was okay. And he saved me at the frat party, and he really was a good dancer, and he brought me a flower that one time, and he always lets me eat with him in the cafeteria if I ask. But I thought maybe he was just being nice. Because I'm your friend, and he's so close to you.""Right," says Taehyung softly. "Really close.""But since Jin's birthday it's been different," says Jimin, finally looking up, his eyes sparkling. "He was so friendly when we were setting things up, and he let me hug him after, you know, the fight, and we've been texting a lot while he's been at home and he's always so cute about it.""That's cool," says Taehyung, but his heart doesn't agree. It's pounding against the walls of his chest, and all he can think is that Yoongi's not texting him, and he's not texting Seokjin, but he's texting Jimin. Sweet Jimin, the person he chose so long ago to be his best friend, the one he'd never seen coming because stupid Jeongguk had been there distracting him. Pretty Jimin, who never interfered with anyone and always knew what people needed and didn't need to make an improvement plan for himself because he was already perfect.So it made sense, this was a day for things making sense, and for people being in love that Taehyung had never even thought to put together. He didn't know anything, and he doesn't know anything, and Jimin's face is so bright and happy and Taehyung is going to cry."I know, he's really great," says Jimin, sighing. "I guess I don't have to tell you that. But he's hot, too! I thought I was going to die when he took his shirt off at the beach. I'm almost positive he winked at me when he did it. Did you see it?""No, but um, I'm sure he did," says Taehyung, his arms tightening around his ribcage painfully. "Hot guys always wink."Jimin laughs, and his phone buzzes, and he checks it as best he can with his eyes gone into his smile. And Taehyung's afraid he's going to say it's Yoongi, that he's going to read some text that Taehyung will never get and make him vanish into atoms, and Taehyung scrambles to his feet. "I have to get going," he says. "I have, you know, this emu thing, and…"Jimin follows him, his face falling into concern, and he says, "Are you okay?""Oh, I think it's just, Hoseok? It all sort of just hit me?" says Taehyung lamely, reaching for anything he can find. "So I'm gonna go ride my bike.""Okay," says Jimin. He bites his lips, hands twisting in front of him, and adds, "Wear warm clothes. I don't want you to get sick again."And it's so kind, and so caring, and Taehyung will never be a good person for the way his stomach folds in on itself to hear his voice. The way he never wants to hear that voice again, right now.But he has to, because Jimin calls very quietly as he reaches the door. "Hey, Tae?"Kunal has his headphones on and can't even hear them, but Jimin says it like he's scared so Taehyung pitches his voice at the same level. "Yeah, Minnie?""Do you think… do you think Yoongi could like me? That anyone could ever like me?"It's plaintive and terrified, and Taehyung can't do this. He can't do it, he knows he can't do it, he has his hand on the door and thinks he could run before anyone could stop him. He could run and run and run and never stop."Everyone could like you," says Taehyung, his voice scratchy and deep. "And Yoongi would never let anyone think he liked them if he didn't. He's so honest. Bye."He's out the door before Jimin can answer, and he knows he's failing but this is the best he can do.Taehyung rides his bike until his chest burns. Until his legs are jello, and his eyes are stinging with sweat instead of tears, until he's worked harder than he ever has in his life just to keep himself moving forward. There are times he's inching up hills at a snail's pace, and there are times where he's flying across straightaways like demons pound behind him, but every time he's going somewhere that isn't where he is right now.He's the stupidest boy who's ever lived, and he doesn't want his thoughts to catch up with him.But they do anyway, despite the speed of his wheels and the long downhills he finds as often as he can. Thoughts of what's going to happen when Yoongi comes back next week, when Jimin is waiting for him being beautiful and kind and easier than Taehyung has ever been. Yoongi's comforting hands wrapped around Jimin's adorable ones, playing with them in his lap. Putting on face masks together and watching smart movies and not ever thinking about Taehyung at all. Jimin's happy laughter in the lunch room while Yoongi feeds him, because Yoongi in love is a strange creature who probably does all sorts of things that Taehyung never knew he could picture so clearly.And sometimes the thoughts are Jimin and Yoongi kissing, lost in each other on the dance floor, tugging each other to bed with gentle hands, and those burn his chest too, lighting it on fire as he tries to get oxygen. But he doesn't stop moving, because he can't stop. None of this can stop, because he's their friend and will be their friend even if he doesn't know how he can survive it.Jimin's favorite snack is apple slices, and he hates junk food, and Yoongi's new grocery bags are going to be so stupidly healthy now.Yoongi likes to be the little spoon, and so does Jimin, and they'll laugh as they negotiate with each other, each of them claiming to need to be held the most.Jimin drinks sweet-tasting hard lemonades, and Yoongi likes the bitterest beers, and when their tongues meet it will be disgusting, but neither of them will care.Yoongi will want his key back for Jimin, and Taehyung considers dropping it on the road just so he never has to do that. Just so he never has to look in Yoongi's eyes and see the relief when Taehyung can't barge in anymore whenever he wants. So he doesn't have to see the familiar scratches on Jimin's keyring every time they come back from the gym.Jimin will go to the gym with Yoongi now, and they'll make out between sets, and Taehyung will never be able to go to back again.He rides for hours, so long he doesn't know where he is, until he sees the ocean and can't believe he's come so far. There's no one on the beach at this time of the year, and Taehyung finally stops riding at the edge of the world but it's not by choice. He hits a stone, or a flip flop, or a jellyfish, or some other thing that a person less blinded by tears would see, and he tips over the side of his bike, twisting his ankle painfully as he lands on the hard-packed sand and whooshes his small remaining breath right out of his lungs.His hands scratch, and his elbow raws, and he thinks he might have sand physically inside of his body. He definitely can't get up, so he rolls onto his back, tears running down his face from this extra pain, and he thinks he should have brought his phone with him, maybe, because he's never going to get home like this."Taehyung?" says a voice above him. Unfamiliar, but it says his name so he doesn't bother to open his eyes."Are you an angel?" he asks, and his voice cracks until he clears it. "Or a demon?""I think I'm a scientist," says the voice, and its aura of introspection is unmistakable. "Though of course I could be wrong.""Namjoon?""I'm definitely that."Taehyung opens his eyes and Namjoon's face is upside down above him. It looks curious, from what Taehyung can tell. "What are you doing here? The stars don't come out until later.""They're always there," says Namjoon. "We just can't always see them.""Oh.""But that's an astrophysics secret," says Namjoon. "Don't tell anyone."He smiles slightly, and Taehyung realizes that's his version of a joke. It's a pretty good one, really, and on another day Taehyung might even be able to laugh at it."I actually came to look at the crabs. They're less active this time of year, but they're still cute. I think your bike is messed up," says Namjoon, all in one thought."My ankle is more messed up," says Taehyung. "But it's okay. I live here now."Namjoon shakes his head. "You'll get sick, and Yoongi will kill me. Come on, I'll take you back.""He won't care," mutters Taehyung, but Namjoon is already pulling him up with deceptive strength. He's very solid underneath his baggy clothes, and Taehyung didn't realize how cold he was until Namjoon's warmth is next to him."I can't believe you're just wearing a t-shirt," says Namjoon as they make their strange three-legged way across the parking lot. "And you're all sweaty, which is really bad for you. Here, have this."He shrugs off his well-worn sweatshirt, tossing it over Taehyung with an easy manhandling that he can't escape because he's injured. But it's nice, and a little paternal, so Taehyung says thank you as they get to the small hatchback, which is unlocked.When Taehyung gives him a confused look, Namjoon shrugs. "I don't have much worth stealing except textbooks," he says. "And a lot of CDs. Hang on."He gets Taehyung settled into the passenger seat and trots away, hefting Taehyung's bike and moving back with a sort of loping, easy stride that's at total odds with his academic personality. Taehyung protests as he works the bike into his backseat, saying it's dirty and broken and he doesn't need to bring it, but much like the sweatshirt Namjoon obviously has his own ideas about what needs to be done. This becomes most apparent when he produces a water bottle and pours it over Taehyung's raw hands, cleaning out the little scratches as best he can before hopping into the car himself.When he pulls out of the parking lot he accelerates way too hard, then brakes like there's a dog in the road, and Taehyung catches himself on the dashboard with a pained hiss."Sorry," mutters Namjoon. "I just learned how to drive a few months ago. But I'm careful, I promise.""It's okay," says Taehyung. "I don't know how to drive at all."Namjoon nods as he pulls out again. "I liked that better. But they lost contact with the Mars rover that's been up there for fifteen years and I thought it was time.""Oh sure," says Taehyung. "I get it."He doesn't, and Namjoon seems to know it by the way he smiles. "It's gone thirty miles across an alien planet all on its own, getting signals and sending back information and showing us things we never even believed were possible, and I still had to hitch rides to see the crabs. Earth has plenty of challenges before I can lose myself in space," he says. "So why were you crying?""I wasn't," says Taehyung. "I just get moist on my face sometimes. It's a genetic condition."Namjoon comes to a careful stop at the light, and he doesn't look over. "You'd make a good meteor," he says. "Brightest when you're close to other people. And you're really funny.""Meteors are funny?""When they want to be," says Namjoon. "Are you ready for your finals? I hear Developmental is a tough one.""Yeah, it is," says Taehyung automatically, then frowns. "Wait, how do you know my classes?""Yoongi talks about you a lot," says Namjoon. "In study group. It's impressive you get the grades you do without having to kill yourself like the rest of us. You're really smart."Taehyung wipes at his nose and says, "Not all the time.""I don't think intelligence is variable," says Namjoon. "It's just perspective. But sorry if I'm being too familiar. Sometimes I feel like we're friends, because you vibrate at the right frequency, and I forget that we haven't reached that part yet. It's like starlight that's still traveling to us, but I think we'll get there someday.""Friends have frequencies?""I think so," says Namjoon. "I almost wrote my thesis on it until I realized it was impossible to prove. But it's music, you know. The pitches of people, and their harmonizations. Sometimes you hear about a person, or listen to a voice, or see someone in a hallway and you feel it. They could sing with you. Whale songs, right?"He sighs. "I don't have a lot of matching vibrations. Yoongi's one. I think you are too. You're just like him."Taehyung chuckles, even though he's a little snotty. "We're complete opposites.""Complete opposites are just as connected as complete similarities," says Namjoon. "You only have to watch one to to know what the other will do."He doesn't mention the new moisture on Taehyung's cheeks, just passes him some Kleenex from the console and lets him blow, and Taehyung feels guilty, guilty, guilty. He'd ruined this guy's life, devastated him, and they're talking about Taehyung's stupid frequencies and making him feel better. He shouldn't be allowed to feel better."Why are you being so nice to me?" asks Taehyung suddenly, harshly. "You have to know what I did. With Jimin. I talked him out of dating you."Namjoon's hands tighten around the wheel, their careful ten and two. "Yoongi told me," he says. "But if he could be talked out of it, then it wasn't right. He wouldn't have been happy with me, if he wasn't all the way in. I'm all the way. Intense. You did him a favor."There's a silence, and Namjoon says quietly, "How is he?""He's just the same, only more," says Taehyung, closing his eyes.He thinks about how it wasn't a favor, because Jimin is in love with Yoongi, Yoongi who belonged to Taehyung before he'd left. And Taehyung has done so many stupid things and Namjoon can't possibly know what all the way means if his body isn't being carved up into small pieces and fed to wolves at every moment. Taehyung is all the way, really all the way, and he loves Min Yoongi and everything is terrible."Does Jimin have a frequency?""Not a frequency," says Namjoon, and his voice sounds like the wolves are inside of him too. "He's the whole spectrum. Every note on the scale. Sadness and joy and wavering beauty through the atmosphere. Especially when he laughs. I've listened to a lot of Vivaldi this year."He turns on the stereo then, and a quartet pours out, and they're silent for the rest of the ride. Taehyung doesn't know what Namjoon is thinking as the violins engulf them, but he thinks they should have on Berlioz because his thoughts are dark, of witchcraft and ritual and the things that he could do in the night. Because if Namjoon feels this way, Taehyung could use it. He could love Jimin, and then Jimin wouldn't love Yoongi anymore.As soon as he thinks it he flinches away, pressing his hands together in his lap to trap a thought too selfish to taste, but it comes back, over and over again it comes back on his tongue like wine. Jimin and Namjoon, and the solution to all of his problems. Temptation bright like a golden thread in his heart, and he's not supposed to do this at all for anyone but he's really not supposed to do it now, when it's just for him.He wrestles with it as the concerto tries to show him light, all the way back he wrestles with it, and when Namjoon turns down the music in front of the dorm and asks, "Can you get back up on your own okay?" Taehyung looks him right in the eye and says no."Maybe we should take you to a hospital," says Namjoon as they limp down the hall. Taehyung's clinging to his shoulder like his leg has fallen off, and Namjoon's carrying his bike in his other hand, and Taehyung wonders if every person in the world goes to the gym more than he does. He wonders that to distract himself from the evil of his soul, his soul that's carrying him closer and closer to his own end."No, I just need my first aid stuff," says Taehyung firmly. "We're almost there."He throws open the door with his own free hand and drags Namjoon inside, bike and all, before he can react."Hey Jimin," says Taehyung. "Sorry, I just need your athletic tape."Jimin doesn't answer, his lips parted in shock. He's wearing the same thing he was earlier, a huge black t-shirt that's slipping off the shoulder and soft gray leggings, and Namjoon isn't breathing. Taehyung's so close to him that he can feel the way he stops moving entirely, and Taehyung needs to get out of here. He lets go of his human crutch and hobbles over to Jimin's closet quickly, digging for the first aid kit.When he finds it, he says, "I'll just take this to the bathroom really quick. I'll be right back. Don't leave before I can say goodbye."Namjoon doesn't say anything either, but he sets Taehyung's broken bike down on the floor and runs his hand through his hair. His white undershirt rides up his arm, and Jimin's eyes follow the movement, and in a burst of inspiration Taehyung strips off the sweatshirt and carefully leaves it on the chair. With luck they'll forget about it, and Jimin will have something to remind him of Namjoon and a reason to see him again later, and Taehyung is the worst person for doing this so easily.Jimin's eyes start to smile as Namjoon studies at him carefully, like he's something new to be explored."Rogue planets," says Namjoon, almost to himself, a small smile curving his mouth. "Wow."Jimin giggles, high and clear and embarrassed, and Namjoon's smile grows until it dimples his cheeks, and Taehyung slips out into the hallway and runs back to his room. The pain in his ankle stabs him with every stride, and he deserves it, he deserves it even more because he's happy. He's proud of himself, and he doesn't understand the point of improvement plans if he's going to always be so proud of his worst parts.When he gets inside he closes the door and collapses in the middle of the floor, denying himself the comfort of the bed or a chair, rubbing his ankle absently as he apologizes to the universe. As he prays to the universe that Jimin and Namjoon will love each other forever, then despairs again, then looks at the phone at his desk and wants to text Yoongi to beg him to come home. Come home to Taehyung and hold his scraped hand and tell him what to do because Taehyung doesn't know anymore. He just knows he's drifting, and he has no north, and Yoongi could kiss him, maybe, he could kiss him for hours or the rest of his life, and that might bring the directions back.His door opens, because he'd forgotten to lock it like an idiot, and he looks up with a fierce apology to Jimin on his lips but it's Yoongi. Wild-eyed Yoongi with his shaggy hair and slightly pouted lips and small body full of the entire universe. Taehyung had almost forgotten what he looked like, or maybe he had never really known, because Taehyung's heart had never felt this way when his eyes followed the curve of Yoongi's cheek as it moved."Tae," he says, breathless, familiar, and that's enough to blow Taehyung apart.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"You're back," says Taehyung, stupidly, obviously, because his brain doesn't work well when it's blown apart."Why are you on the floor?" asks Yoongi. He steps in to the room and kneels down, not touching him with anything but his eyes, which is still almost too much. "Are you okay?""What? Oh, yeah, it's just my ankle."Yoongi's face doesn't look like he thinks that's okay as gentle fingers brush across the swollen skin above Taehyung's foot. His other hand finds a hole in Taehyung's jeans that he hadn't even noticed yet and touches it just as carefully. "What happened?""I fell off my bike," says Taehyung. "It's a little broken. The bike, not my ankle. But it's okay. I'm okay. I'm friends with Yugyeom now. He forgave me. I apologized a lot, every apology I had, and I've had lunch with him so many times, and we hang out on campus, and I go to the library with him, too. We study all the time together."He says it urgently, before Yoongi can start talking, because Yoongi looks so pale and so worried and the only part of him he's touched has been his injuries. And Taehyung is thinking about kissing him, that's all he can possibly think about when his pink, chapped lips are so close, and that's never going to happen if he doesn't fix what's broken."Tae," says Yoongi softly, like he hasn't heard him. He's still sad, and Taehyung hates the way it looks in his eyes. "Tae, it's going to be okay. I know it's hard, but it's going to be okay. You'll get past this.""No," says Taehyung, fear clenching his heart in cold fists. "I don't want to get past anything. Please.""You can't get hung up," says Yoongi. He rubs his thumb across Taehyung's ankle more firmly, and it hurts but Taehyung doesn't let it show. "He shouldn't have used you like that, but he's not worth getting hung up on. You'll be okay, I promise."Taehyung blinks. "What are you talking about?""Jin told me about Hoseok," says Yoongi, his mouth twisting on the name. "I promised Jeongguk I wouldn't kill him, but trust me I'm thinking about it. I can't believe his nerve.""Is that why you came back? To kill Hoseok for going out with Jeongguk?" asks Taehyung. "That's… wow."Yoongi's face reddens, his cute little face that Taehyung can't stop staring at. His perfect face, the only face in the world that matters, and Taehyung wants to touch it a lot. As much as he wants to touch fire alarms, and other forbidden things, and he sits on his hands to keep them from reaching out."He cheated on you," says Yoongi, almost under his breath. "Of course I want to kill him.""Cheated on me?" says Taehyung blankly. "But we weren't dating."Yoongi scratches his head. "But you were something. And he doesn't get to get out of it by just not calling it what it was, you know? That's a fucking dick move. You deserve so much better.""No, I mean we really weren't dating. We never even kissed," says Taehyung. "We're just friends. We've always been just friends."It's Yoongi's turn to blink, to look shocked and confused. "But you flirted with him. You went out with him. He's been staying with you, this whole time."Which gives Taehyung the red face, and he wonders if Namjoon was right that he and Yoongi are connected, always moving in counterpoint to the other. "Oh. Well, you know, I'm just kind of… I guess I'm like that? But we were never anything. Not really. He was a dick for hitting on me in front of Jeongguk and not telling me not to flirt back, or telling me anything at all, so he'd better apologize, but it's fine. It wasn't anything. Nothing real.""But Jin said you looked terrible," says Yoongi, like he's solving a puzzle with his words. "When he told you. That you were upset.""Probably. It's been a long week," says Taehyung. A long ten days. A long eternity. "Missed you."His eyes widen when his ears register what he said, but Yoongi relaxes, the tense set of his shoulders shrugging into something more like himself. "Missed you too, punk."It's not exactly the term of endearment he's been dreaming of, secretly, but it's more than he'd hoped to get so soon and Taehyung smiles. "So you drove all the way here to beat up a guy I was never even dating for cheating on me? That's so you. Remember the time that kid took my Batman action figure and you found his mom in the parking lot and made her yell at him in front of the entire school until he gave it back, except that I'd really left it in the bathroom on accident and he found it, and your parents had to come talk to the principal about appropriate emotional response?""You wouldn't stop crying," says Yoongi, nose scrunching up. "I didn't want to ride the bus home with a crying kid." But he doesn't say it mean, and his hand is still rubbing Taehyung's ankle absently. "You sure you're okay?""Sure," says Taehyung. "Hoseok fucked up, but he was just in love. That's most of what love is, right? Doing stupid stuff that you apologize for forever?"Yoongi sighs, like he's a long way away. "Yeah, maybe. He's just lucky everyone's so happy to forgive him. Jeongguk spent months pissed off and now he sends me a disgusting text every ten minutes about something cute he did. It's never even cute.""You sound jealous," says Taehyung, carefully. Very carefully, because his hands are raw and his whole soul is raw, and Yoongi's back but that doesn't mean he's really here."I guess I am," says Yoongi, almost surprised."So you were into Jeongguk. You were lying to us.""No," says Yoongi, suddenly resolving into the room again. His thumb stops moving, he stops everything, and Taehyung takes his leg back for himself. Yoongi's midnight eyes have a secret in them, and if it's not Jeongguk then it really is Jimin and Taehyung doesn't want to know. Because Jeongguk is someone Yoongi would have to get over, but Jimin could still be his, if Taehyung hasn't fucked that up. "No, I'm not into Jeongguk."The emphasis is all wrong, it's painfully wrong, and Taehyung looks away, tears stinging his eyes. He doesn't say anything, so it's quiet for awhile, and Taehyung plays with the hole in his pants hoping Yoongi will leave. Hoping he'll stay, forever, and never say another word again."Aren't you going to ask me who I am into?" asks Yoongi softly. His voice is so pretty, and a little gravelly, and a drop spills down Taehyung's cheek.He still doesn't say anything."Maybe that's smart," says Yoongi. He laughs, small and broken. "But I'm not smart, so I'll just say it, I guess. Why the fuck not?"Yoongi takes a breath, the way he did before his valedictorian speech that he'd hated, and the time he'd had to tell his dad that he'd picked engineering over pre-law which he'd dreaded. It's his unpleasant task breath, his "I'm in love with your best friend" breath, and Taehyung's insides try to twist into another dimension. The outsides of him watch Yoongi's mouth, the words it starts to form, and before a single sound can emerge Taehyung blurts out, "Don't."The word echoes in the room, and Yoongi freezes."Don't say it," says Taehyung frantically. "Because if you say it, you can't unsay it. Time only goes one way, and you can't take things back, so just don't say them. Please."Yoongi's lips settle back into neutral lines, into the nothingness of polite texts of dog pictures and not caring about much of anything at all. It's like a magic trick, a birth in reverse, and Taehyung's insides don't feel any better for the change."Okay," says Yoongi. "If that's what you want."He gets up slowly, like he's older than he is, but he's fast when he goes out the door. Like he wants to get away, and Taehyung thinks about all the things he wanted to be and how he's not being any of them. How he's so selfish in his love, still, because Yoongi had driven all the way back just to make sure he wasn't crying and Taehyung only wants him here on his terms. He'd put all that effort in to healing them and Taehyung was wasting it, because Taehyung is spoiled and in love and mean. He's being mean, and Yoongi shouldn't ever have things he can't say to him. That's the whole purpose of them, to say all of the things to each other that have ever mattered.Even when they hurt.Taehyung jumps up, wincing, and hobbles his way out the door. Yoongi's already halfway to the elevators, moving at speed, and Taehyung yells for him to wait. He flinches but he doesn't stop so Taehyung runs, making pained little noises as he goes, and perversely that seems to get Yoongi's attention better than yelling as he spins around with fluttering, angry hands."You're going to hurt yourself," he hisses, trying to stop him but Taehyung's already stopped, holding himself up on the wall to keep his balance. "You idiot, don't run on a sprained ankle."Yoongi stomps back to where he's leaning and Taehyung transfers his weight from the wall to Yoongi's shoulders. He stares down earnestly, into those eyes that are going to kill him, and says, "Tell me. Tell me what you were going to say. We're friends, the oldest friends, and we can say anything to each other. You can tell me anything, anytime, about anyone, and I'll always listen. Do it, Yoongi."He's crying by the end but he means it, and when Yoongi tries to step away he holds on tight and hops with him."I'm just trying to get us to the stairway," says Yoongi, gesturing vaguely around them, and Taehyung sees that they have an audience through the hazy film over his eyes. So Yoongi tucks up under his arm and takes him through the door, everyone staring and whispering but Taehyung doesn't care. He just squeezes the shoulder holding him up and thinks maybe it will be the last time they're ever like this, but it will be a time he remembers. That he holds in his heart.Eventually they're sitting on a step, Yoongi's intense glare keeping people from pressing against the window to watch them, and Taehyung says, "Okay, tell me now. Please, Yoongi, I want to be a good friend. I want to be a good person.""A good friend," echoes Yoongi, staring somewhere below Taehyung's eyes. Thinking about Jimin, maybe, and how he'll be shorter when they sit on stairs together. "Yeah. I guess that's -"He sighs and rubs a hand over his eyes. He looks tired, and small, and Taehyung keeps his hands to himself with heroic effort once more."Do I really have no chance with you?" asks Yoongi quietly. He's still staring at Taehyung's shoulder, or maybe past his shoulder, and Taehyung doesn't understand his words. "Even without Hoseok, and Seb, and… and all of those guys, can you never see me as anything but a friend?"When Taehyung thinks back later, there are a lot of things he should have done. Kissed Yoongi, definitely, or at the very least looked like he wanted to. Made a word, or an expression that was somehow encouraging. But it's a little like opening the door to a closet and expecting coats but finding Narnia, and Taehyung has had a very long day after a very long week and he forgives himself his silence.What he doesn't forgive is the way he hits Yoongi on the arm in agitation, then hits him on the other arm even harder.As love confessions go, it isn't the best."I'm sorry," says Yoongi, even smaller. "I'm not good at this. I don't know the right words, or how give a speech. But god, Tae, it's burning me alive. I don't know if that's enough, but it's what I have to give. I love you, I guess. That's embarrassing. Fuck. Forget I said that."He's practically become a microscopic creature, looking at his hands miserably, and Taehyung's mouth is all the way open, still searching for words he can't find."I should have told you before this. Before things got so fucked up. Because it's been you for months, maybe for years. Maybe forever," Yoongi says to his knees. "Just please say something. Laugh at me, or tell me to go to hell if you have to, just so I can move on. Fucking hell, I thought I could talk to you about anything but I can't talk about this. I don't know how. Maybe if I liked you less, I could talk about it more.""Yoongi," says Taehyung, then stops when nothing else comes out. That's all he seems to be able to say, and Yoongi looks up at him with his cute mouth parted, and his cute eyes a little bit hopeful and even more scared, and his cute everything just being there. Being the bend of Taehyung's elbow and the sole of his foot and the only true north he's ever known. "Yoongi."And Taehyung finally reaches his hands out and touches him, grabs his cheeks in both palms and squeezes them like he's been wanting to do ever since he reappeared. Pulls him closer, almost in his lap, and lets himself feel the full force of the hurricane between them, the way he's been wanting and not having and wishing but still fearing. Lets that become a hungry kiss, an insistent kiss, and then there's another, and another, and Yoongi drags himself closer until they're one being. Until he can open his mouth and ask Taehyung for more, a more that Taehyung's already giving him, and they're in this stupid stairway devouring each other and Taehyung's heart feels like laughter.He's laughing on the outside too, eventually, missing their timing as it bubbles up inside of him, and Yoongi pulls back and tries to glare but it's fond, so fond, happy and messy with the color high in the cheeks that Taehyung is still squishing mindlessly."Oh my god, I'm going to pull the fire alarm," is the first thing Taehyung says, cackling madly, and he kisses Yoongi through his startled response that Taehyung absolutely can't do that. And Taehyung agrees that he won't, but in his secret heart he thinks he might, because what else is a person supposed to do when they feel this much? When they are this much, in love and bright and exultant?"I feel like starlight," he whispers when Yoongi's brushing his lips across his jaw later, increasing the pressure but never making it too much. Always just the right amount to keep him from floating away. "Like I've been traveling for a thousand years to you. Is this real? I don't want this to be dreams.""Real," says Yoongi. "If you want it.""You love me," says Taehyung. "How can that be real? You're so mad at me.""Never at you," says Yoongi, then pauses. "Sometimes at you. But not now. Not for this. I'm sorry I left like I did. I just didn't know what else to do."He trails off, a little guiltily, and Taehyung kisses him on the forehead because that feels right. "Can we go to your room? I want to make out on your couch."Yoongi smiles, just like he intended, and says, "Sure.""But you're going to have to carry me down the stairs," says Taehyung firmly. "I'm wounded.""No way in hell," says Yoongi, standing up and offering his shoulder, and of all of the things that have been a relief this is the biggest one, that soon-to-be-boyfriend Yoongi is exactly the same as he's always been. "We'll use the elevator.""Elevators are not romantic," says Taehyung, accepting the help. "I have so much to teach you. I hope you know we're not going to sit in your room all the time and study and think about our bottomless ennui. That's not the kind of boyfriend I am.""I only do that on weeknights," says Yoongi dryly, a little grin inside his tone. "But if you think I'm going to parties every weekend you've never been so wrong.""Fine," says Taehyung. They're hobbling down the hallway now, people buzzing around them in curiosity, and Taehyung gives them a royal wave. "We'll compromise. Disco in your room four nights a week.""Nice try.""Three nights.""No," says Yoongi, pushing the elevator button with a long finger that Taehyung grabs in his own hand reflexively."Okay five nights."When Yoongi just rolls his eyes Taehyung laughs, but neither of them let go of each other until the elevator shows up."Also I ate all of your popcorn this week. You need to get more."Yoongi's mouth drops open. "All of it? There were three boxes!""I was very lonely," says Taehyung, blinking pathetically, and he learns to his delight that one thing about definitely-will-be-boyfriend Yoongi that's going to be different is that emotional appeal is shockingly effective. He holsters that weapon for the future, allowing Yoongi to kiss him happy with entirely too much glee.When they reach the first floor Yoongi tries to maintain their dignity across the lobby, only slightly marred by the applause that follows behind them after Taehyung screams that they're dating as soon as the doors open. Yoongi's face is at its lowest annoyance level so it's fine, though it threatens to fly into dangerous territory when the assembled crowd starts chanting for a kiss."Later," Taehyung promises them all, giving them a thumbs up before limping into Yoongi's room. Yoongi's bags are piled in the center of it without any respect to his natural order, and Taehyung grins hugely. "In a hurry to see someone?"Yoongi doesn't answer, face screwed up in fake concentration as he opens his trashcan and takes in all of the empty popcorn bags. "You didn't even take out my trash.""I don't do that sort of thing," says Taehyung, making his way to the couch. "But I will as soon as I heal, if you want me to.""Really?" asks Yoongi, and it's a deserved skepticism but Taehyung's totally serious."Of course. Will do chores for kisses. Come here.""Not yet," says Yoongi, holding up a warning finger. "I have to get you ice for your ankle."Taehyung gasps. "From the super secret staff-only machine? Min Yoongi, what sort of example would you be setting to your charges if you let us have ice from the machines whenever we wanted? Favoritism is a hallmark of corruption, but a true leader shows impartiality and -"Yoongi groans. "I don't sound like that," he says, but he's lying through his teeth as he picks up his bags and tosses them to the closet."Do you want me to call Jin to reminisce about all the times you shot us down for ice sculpture practice? He does an even better impression of that speech than I do.""Do not call Seokjin," says Yoongi, flushing. "You know he'll come over if you do.""Good call," says Taehyung. "He shouldn't come over. You should. Right now. You're really hot doing all of that physical labor and I want to appreciate your burly muscles.""I don't have burly muscles," protests Yoongi, not at all convincingly considering his face is basically a scrunched-up tomato.Taehyung only grins and crooks his finger, and Yoongi walks over reluctantly but not that reluctantly, letting himself be tugged down with only token resistance. And Taehyung kisses him again, still amazed that he can do this, amazed that Yoongi wants him to, amazed that they haven't been doing this the whole time. Because Yoongi fits on top of him so well, right inside the hollow of his arms even though he's bigger on the inside, and Taehyung likes being underneath him. Likes the little purring noises he makes when Taehyung scratches his head, and the way he flexes his bicep a little ridiculously whenever Taehyung runs a hand over it, and the way his lips are soft and made for this thing they've never done before.This thing Taehyung always wants to do, because holding Yoongi is like holding the best teddy bear. If Taehyung wanted to get a teddy bear naked."God you're pretty," says Yoongi once on the pullback, breathing hard, tracing Taehyung's face with his finger, his other hand braced against his chest. "You're so fucking unfair.""I know. Put on one of your hats," murmurs Taehyung, trying to get Yoongi's shirt off. "Backwards please."It's the wrong thing to say, because Yoongi snorts and stands up, shaking his head. "I'm getting you ice."He leaves despite Taehyung's pouts, but he's so fast about it he must have been running and Taehyung teases him mercilessly. He's so happy in his insides, bursting with laughter at the smallest things, loving the light of Yoongi as he bustles around his kitchen wrapping the ice in a towel and producing duct tape out of somewhere to hold it all together like the future dad he's training to be. Taehyung loses himself in a little dream of that future, a quick picture of heaven, and his face hurts from smiling but it's the best kind of hurt."Hey, what's this?" asks Yoongi, holding up a piece of paper he'd grabbed from the counter. "'Operation Taehyung Enhancement'?""Oh," says Taehyung, returning to reality with a bump. "Just, you know. A plan. To get better. Less… all those things you said I am. I'm doing really good! Yugyeom is really cool to hang out with, and I'm the king of thanking people, and I've had so many philosophical thoughts. Like, 'everything is difficult before it's easy'. That was a good one. It might have been a fortune cookie I read once, but I still thought about it."He says it all hopefully, a little anxiously, and he's even more anxious when Yoongi's eyebrows turn into a sad triangle. He brings over the paper, and the ice, and he settles near Taehyung's feet to wrap the towel around his sore ankle."Tae," he says quietly. "I'm sorry about that. I was totally out of line. You're already a good person, and you've always been a good person. Better than I've been, that's for sure, and I like you just like you are. I always have, even before, well, this. All of the things on this list are great, if you want to do them, but don't do them to prove anything to me. Or to anyone else. Okay?""But I hurt Yugyeom's feelings," said Taehyung. "That's not a good person."Yoongi sighs, taking Taehyung's hand in his own like he's not even aware of it, which makes Taehyung want to cry. "Even good people fuck up sometimes," he says heavily. "But you already knew you had, and you were going to say you were sorry, and I kept unloading on you anyway. I couldn't stop. And I realized that night that I was the one who was fucking up. I'd promised myself, when Hoseok got here and I saw what I could lose - when I figured out what you meant, for me - that I wouldn't let it change me. That I would treat you just the same, and be whatever you wanted me to be. That I'd give you whatever parts of me you wanted to have, without holding it against you.""I want all the parts of you," says Taehyung immediately. "No one else can have any.""Okay," says Yoongi, his mouth curved slightly. "But that means you'll get the bad ones too, sometimes, even if I don't want you to. Because I broke that promise to myself. To you. I'm really sorry. I let my jealousy get the best of me and, fuck, I made you cry so much. And I realized I couldn't even help you feel better, or comfort you, or do anything I wanted to do because I was so tangled up, and I thought it would be best if I left for awhile. Got some perspective, before I broke things for good."His hand squeezes, suddenly, his voice far away and sad, and Taehyung says, "But why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I would have understood. That's the part that hurt, you know. That you were just gone like that. I hated it so much.""I'm sorry for that, too. I was going to tell you," says Yoongi. "But you had Hoseok. He was going to stay awhile, he told me, and I thought… well, I thought you were going to be okay. I didn't know.""Ugh, no. Hoseok was the worst roommate ever," says Taehyung. "He was getting so happy while I was trying to wallow and it was obnoxious. I bet he had sex with Jeongguk right on my bed. I'm going to have to burn it.""No burning dorm furniture. Or any furniture.""Fine. Then we have to have even more sex on top of their sex to cancel it out."Yoongi turns red again, and Taehyung loves his new power way too much when Yoongi growls, "You can't just say shit like that. It's not… we're not there yet. Let me adjust.""Okay," says Taehyung. "Let me know when we are, though, because I have a lot of costume ideas.""For you or for me?" asks Yoongi apprehensively."Me!" says Taehyung, and he's gratified when Yoongi kisses him again with a little more intent. It's still gentle, a simmering heat instead of a fire, but Taehyung can be patient. He's really good at being patient."Are we there now?" he asks, nibbling on Yoongi's ear in his most enticing way."Tae.""Sorry," says Taehyung. "It's just that I've been in love with you for a long time, and aware of it for ten days, and I'm ready."Yoongi arches an eyebrow above him, his going-to-tell-a-not-funny-joke face firmly in place. "So all I have to do to get you to love me is to leave? Interesting," he says, and he pushes to get up until Taehyung whines and pulls him back not at all gently.Yoongi collapses over him, face still amused, but he says, "It might take me awhile to figure this out. To sort out all of the stuff we are, because you're so many things to me. You've been a part of me for so long, more than I ever thought you could be, and I don't ever want to make you cry again."Taehyung sobers, and he strokes a finger down Yoongi's spine, the thing that makes him strong. "Of course," he says. "We've got forever, right? That should be long enough to untangle it all."He leans up and kisses Yoongi's button nose, a little peck that Yoongi bats away in the process of wiping his eyes like a sappy dork."You're a sappy dork," says Taehyung. "Did I ever tell you that I had my first wet dream about you?"Yoongi groans, dropping his head to Taehyung's chest. "Why at this moment," he mutters, but he's smiling. Taehyung can feel it, even though he can't see it, and he nearly cries as their souls click into place again. "Alright, tell me about your wet dream. If you must.""I'm so glad you asked," says Taehyung happily. "You were playing basketball in your driveway, doing trick shots and cool dribbles and wearing your uniform, and I walked across the lawn and said hello. And you were chewing gum, and instead of saying hi you ran over and spit your gum into my mouth. And then I came.""Jesus Christ," says Yoongi into the silence, his voice muffled but still horrified. "What the fuck.""I didn't really know how sex worked yet," says Taehyung."I'm going to have nightmares from that," says Yoongi finally looking back up at Tae. And his face is pinched like he's mad, but his eyes take their time wandering up to his gaze, hitching a few times, which Taehyung considers a win. "I'm definitely never chewing gum again."Taehyung pouts, but he brightens when he asks, "Did you bring back any jerseys? Jin said you were going to get some from your mom.""Um, no," says Yoongi."So you did! Go put one on, I want to see your arms," says Taehyung. "And then you can wink at me like a true… hot… guy…"He trails away into nothingness, and Yoongi's forehead creases down the middle. "Tae? Are you okay?""Oh my god," says Taehyung, drained of all emotion. "Oh my god I can't date you. Get off. Get off!"Yoongi scrambles up, clearly worried, and Taehyung pats his pockets before he realizes he still doesn't have his phone. "Give me your phone.""What's wrong?" asks Yoongi evenly. Comfortingly. Lovingly. "Hey, whatever it is, we can figure it out.""We can't!" snaps Taehyung, grabbing his hair in anguish to avoid looking at Yoongi's wonderful, unattainable face. "Give me your phone. Please."And Yoongi does, silently, handing it over like Taehyung isn't entirely insane, and terrible, and betraying his best friend in this very moment. He types in the only password Yoongi ever uses and scrolls down to a familiar number with shaking hands.Jimin picks up on the second ring."Yoongi?" he says, and he sounds more confused than excited. "If you're looking for Tae, he's not here anymore.""Hi Jimin it's me," says Taehyung, breezily, forcing it. "It's me your best friend. How are you today?""Tae!" says Jimin. "I've been looking for you. I wanted to put your bike in your room, since it doesn't really fit in mine, and your door is unlocked but I wasn't sure if we should go in. But there's a movie starting soon and I really want to go, so is it okay if I run in fast? I'll lock it on my way out.""Sure, Minnie, that sounds great," says Taehyung, still very pleasant. "But can you please come to Yoongi's room when you're done?""Oh, is that where you are?" asks Jimin. "Sure, be right there!"His voice is so happy, cheerful and warm, and Taehyung bites his lip hard enough to sting as he hangs up. Yoongi's still watching him intensely and it holds no more understanding, but he doesn't push to get closer.They sit for a long minute before Yoongi says, "What's happening?""Just remember," says Taehyung, swallowing a lump in his throat and and blinking the crystal lights away from his lashes. "Just remember that I love you as much as mountains love their trees, and I'm always going to be your friend, and he likes Granny Smiths the best."The door opens before Yoongi can reply, and Taehyung levers himself up on his good leg with an apology on his lips.It dies when Jimin walks in holding Namjoon's hand.Yoongi's worried face dissolves into glee, and he grins up at Taehyung before turning back to them. "Hey there," he says, greasily, obviously, and Jimin and Namjoon both turn an identical shade of pink. "Great to see you both."Namjoon recovers first, lifting an eyebrow and saying, "I didn't think you were coming back until Sunday.""Plans change," says Yoongi mildly. "Don't they?""When this one's involved, definitely," says Namjoon, nodding at Taehyung and shrugging. "Why even bother making them in the first place?"Yoongi chuckles, and Taehyung's tired of both of them and their weird coded smugness. But he's not tired of Jimin, who's still fidgeting with his hand inside of Namjoon's, making little eyebrow movements at Taehyung that he's not sure he understands."Clear the room, please," says Taehyung. "I need to talk to Minnie for five hours.""This is my room," protests Yoongi while Jimin says, "But the movie starts in an hour!"Namjoon leans down and kisses the top of his head, and Jimin's smile comes back instantly. "We've got time. I think Taehyung's a guy who does his five hours of talking in ten minutes," he says. "Come on, Yoongi, we have a bit of conversation in us, too."Yoongi mutters that he can't get kicked out of his own room, and Namjoon laughs. "You know he's going to get what he wants, so let it happen with some dignity."Namjoon throws his arm around Yoongi when he shuffles to the door, and Yoongi looks back at Taehyung suspiciously before he leaves but Taehyung can't acknowledge it. He's focused on Jimin, who looks so happy, who Taehyung might have entirely fucked up yet again.As soon as the door closes, Jimin runs in place and makes a little screaming sound. "He kissed me!"Taehyung blinks as Jimin launches himself at him, catching him as best he can with ice around his ankle, which isn't very well at all because Jimin is solid muscle and Taehyung is as insubstantial as a communion wafer, and they both crash onto the couch in a heap."He kissed me," says Jimin again, breathlessly. "A lot. He kissed me a lot. He's liked me the whole time, can you believe it? He came to my show, and he saw me dance. He said I dance like the spin of the Milky Way in a vacuum. He said I'm a quasar! Do you know what a quasar is? I pretended I knew but I didn't. It sounded good, though. Like a good thing. Do you think it's a good thing?""No?" says Taehyung, and Jimin frowns. "I mean yes?""Yeah, I think so too. Oh my god, Tae, I think I have a boyfriend. He said that the span of time is infinite and every moment is too small to notice, except when he's with me. That means he's my boyfriend, right?""I honestly have no idea," says Taehyung. "I never know what he's talking about. But Jimin, you don't like Namjoon. You like Yoongi."It doesn't even hurt to say it, because he's so confused, and he tucks Jimin's hair behind his ear."Don't let me mix you up," Taehyung adds. "I shouldn't have gotten involved."Jimin bites his lip. "Oh. Right. Look, I'm sorry. I know Yoongi's your friend, and he is really cute. He's great. But Namjoon… Namjoon is so smart.""Right, definitely, he is.""And sweet. And tall! And he wears those really cute glasses, and he has a lot of tweed jackets. I love tweed jackets! Plus when he talks sometimes he goes so fast that he mixes up his words, and it's adorable. He's adorable. And he's got dimples," says Jimin, clasping his hands together in delight."Wow," says Taehyung, smiling softly. "You really like him, don't you?""I really do," says Jimin, looking down. "He feels right. Like when you're dancing, and you don't even have to think about the moves because they're so obvious. But I thought I wasn't ready for him. Not for liking someone that much, when I've never had a boyfriend. But he doesn't care. He's never had one either. Can you believe that? He's so perfect, and he's never had a boyfriend!"Taehyung smiles and pats Jimin's head. "No, I can't believe it. I'm really happy for you, Minnie."Jimin hugs him around the waist and leans into the crook of his shoulder and Taehyung lets it feel good for a few minutes, because he can sense the joy radiating off of Jimin and into his own body. He savors it, and breathes it in, then says, "I have to tell you something.""Is it a nice thing?""No, it's a terrible thing," says Taehyung, closing his eyes. "But I love you a lot, okay? Remember that."Jimin tries to sit up, but Taehyung won't let him, holding him close while he can. "I kissed Yoongi," he says, his heart in his throat. "I kissed him so much. You just told me you liked him, and then I kissed him, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll never talk to him again. I won't even look at him. If I see him coming in the hallway I'll close my eyes. I'll turn around and walk backwards.""But I don't like him," says Jimin, still trying to sit up. "Definitely not enough for you to stop talking to him. Tae, he's your best friend, don't do that.""You're my best friend," says Taehyung. Tears track down his face, but he can't wipe them away because Jimin is really strong and requires both hands to restrain. "And I didn't know you didn't like him when I did it! I betrayed you! Like Benedict Arnold.""I don't know who that is," says Jimin, finally breaking Taehyung's grasp. "But you're not! You really kissed Yoongi? That's great! Oh my god, did you like it?""Yes," wails Taehyung. "I love him so much and I love you so much and I'm the worst person ever!"Jimin rolls his eyes. "Stop being dramatic," he says sharply, smacking him on the shoulder, and Taehyung stops crying in shock. Jimin smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You and Yoongi are really cute together. Like an old married couple. You should marry him, if you want.""I do want," says Taehyung, then claps a hand over his mouth at his audacity. "You're not mad?"It comes out muffled, but Jimin seems to understand. "Of course not. I know you. You haven't kissed a single person for real all year. And a friend who's willing to stop talking to a guy he loves just because you had a crush on him for a few minutes isn't the kind of friend who would kiss someone for real unless he really loved him. Besides, even if I did like Yoongi, you're the best friend ever. I want you to be happy more than I want any boy."Taehyung screams, because he can't hold any of his emotions inside anymore, and Yoongi and Namjoon burst back in, terrified and amused respectively. Taehyung flaps his hands at them, overcome, and drapes himself across Jimin's shoulders to sob.Jimin pats him, then says, "I'm going to a movie with my boyfriend," and hauls Taehyung to his feet to drag him across the room and deposit him on Yoongi's shoulder.Yoongi seems a little overwhelmed as he takes the weight of Taehyung's shaking form. "Is everything okay?""It's perfect," says Jimin, and he laughs. He sounds like a different person, like he's found some other gear inside of himself, and Taehyung's heart bursts with love. "I thought I had a crush on you for a little bit. I didn't. Don't let him feel guilty about it, okay?"Yoongi coughs, a low rumble in his chest, and he strokes Taehyung's back with a comforting hand."God," says Namjoon, the wonder in Taehyung's heart written all across his face. "You're symphonic. Are you ready to go?""Yes," says Jimin, and when Taehyung looks at him he's grinning like the sun. "Have a good night.""I will. Yoongi's going to hand-feed me marshmallows," says Taehyung, sniffling.Yoongi coughs again. "I'm absolutely not going to do that," he says, but his hand keeps moving across his back.Namjoon waves at Taehyung, a single movement at his waist, and says, "Frequencies, yeah?"Taehyung nods, hiccuping once, and Namjoon and Jimin turn to leave."Wait," says Taehyung. "Jimin, can we have a sleepover tonight and talk about boys? I still have so many hours of talking left. Namjoon, you have to have him home by midnight, okay?""I will," says Namjoon agreeably, and Jimin runs back to give Taehyung a kiss on the forehead, and then they're gone and it's just him and Yoongi again. Being warm together, like a hot tub, and Taehyung tries to bring himself back to center. It's mostly unsuccessful, until he lets his center be Yoongi's hand, and Yoongi's breath, and Yoongi's energy. It's easier that way, and he slowly finds equilibrium again."You were going to break up with me so Jimin wouldn't be sad?" asks Yoongi eventually.Taehyung curls inward. "I didn't want to be a bad person.""You're going to be the death of me," says Yoongi, but it's affectionate. "Next time just tell me what's going on, okay? My heart can't take this shit.""Okay," says Taehyung. "We still have to break up."Yoongi sighs. "Why this time?""Because I matchmade them," says Taehyung. "I'm not supposed to and I did. You said I shouldn't, and you can't accept my hand with this stain on my character.""Tae, you can do whatever you want," says Yoongi. "If you want to matchmake people, you should do it. I'm not your boss, and I don't want to be. But I reserve the right to tell you if you're being ridiculous."Taehyung frowns. "But I love to be ridiculous.""I love it when you're ridiculous, too," says Yoongi, almost too quiet to hear. "You're my sunshine on a cloudy day, Kim Taehyung. You always have been, even if I'll deny I said that if you tell anyone. Just please don't break up with me any more. It really sucks."Taehyung sniffs again, hugely, then wipes his eyes on Yoongi's shirt and straightens up. "Don't worry, I'm not going to have time for matchmaking. I'm going to be too busy planning romantic dates for the next seventy-five years because we're never breaking up again. How do you feel about skydiving?"Yoongi leans up and kisses him, probably to get his mind off of skydiving, and Taehyung files that trick away for later too. And eventually Yoongi hops up on the counter and tugs Taehyung between his legs, and they keep kissing and kissing until their lips are as numb as Taehyung's ankle. Until Taehyung can't taste anything but Yoongi, can't think of anything but Yoongi, and he hopes Jimin breaks his curfew just a little. Until his jaw aches with the movement, and he feels like he hasn't breathed anything but Yoongi's air for his entire lifetime, until Yoongi's making little noises deep in his throat, and Taehyung's given him five enormous hickeys that Yoongi's going to be so mad about when he sees them.But right now he's not mad, he's glassy-eyed and happy, and whenever Taehyung pulls away to lean their foreheads together Yoongi's delicate fingers rove over his face like they're memorizing it anew. Touching, and comforting, and being everything Taehyung's ever needed him to be.Later, when Taehyung' rooting around in a cabinet above them in the middle of sucking on Yoongi's neck, Yoongi mumbles, "What are you doing?" But it's not urgent, not as urgent as Yoongi's hand fisting inside his hair, eagerly accepting his sixth hickey.He protests when Taehyung yanks himself away, then tears open the bag of giant marshmallows with his teeth and holds it out hopefully."I'm not hand-feeding you," says Yoongi."But I'm injured and I haven't had any food since I was born," says Taehyung. "I need to be cared for.""You're an autonomous human and you can feed yourself.""Yeah, well, you're a hippopotamus human," says Taehyung, then cracks up at Yoongi's pinched, annoyed expression."That's it, you're not allowed to talk to Jin anymore," he says, sighing, but he doesn't get through it before Taehyung stuffs two marshmallows in his open mouth and laughs harder at Yoongi's little chipmunk cheeks."You're so cute," says Taehyung, just to make Yoongi's eyes narrow, and he kisses the bulges in his cheeks reverently. "Gorgeous, even. I want to look at you all the time."When he does it again, a little harder, licking and nipping at the skin, Yoongi chews and swallows hurriedly and says, "Wait, is this some kind of sex thing for you?""Depends. Do you want it to be?" asks Taehyung, holding out another marshmallow and waggling his eyebrows.Yoongi's eyes narrow even further, watching Taehyung's face carefully. A little nervous, as is right, but a little interested, which Taehyung craves. And when he eventually leans forward, and takes the white puff on his tongue, only a touch of apprehension in his eyes, Taehyung sighs and says, "God I really do love you. Remind me to move that sleepover with Jimin to tomorrow night."And Yoongi says, "Hang on a minute," around the marshmallow, but it's too late because Taehyung is already pressing into him, and Yoongi has no chance at all to escape.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"We are gathered here today," says Taehyung, standing on Todd's coffee table with a Mountain Dew in his hand, "to celebrate the most glorious of days: my birth.""Your birthday was two weeks ago," says Seokjin sourly.Taehyung ignores him. "It was a warm, beautiful afternoon when the incomparable Kim Taehyung blessed the world, and your lives, by deigning to appear on this mortal coil. Birds appeared in formation, prophecies were fulfilled, and the world's heart grew three sizes that day. Please clap.""A warm, beautiful afternoon in December?" says Namjoon skeptically, running a hand up and down Jimin's arm. He does that all the time, pets Jimin when they're together, like he doesn't know he's doing it. Because he doesn't, Taehyung has learned through hours of intense study, it's just the thing he does, and Jimin loves it so Taehyung's getting used to it as best he can. "Meteorological patterns suggest that's unlikely.""It poured buckets," says Yoongi helpfully. "They almost got into a car accident on the way to the hospital."Taehyung sticks his tongue out. "You were only two, you don't even remember.""Almost three," says Yoongi. "And your parents tell this story every year.""It's January," says Seokjin more loudly. "And this party is a welcome back to school party. Or a welcome to school party, for some."He nods at Hoseok, who's sitting on Jeongguk's lap and gives them a thumbs up high in the air. His mouth is too occupied with Jeongguk's skin to formulate any other response, but that's another thing that they're all having to get used to, with varying degrees of success."Tell me we were not that bad," Seokjin says to the room at large, though he's staring at them both like it's a particularly interesting TV show."You were so much worse," says Taehyung. "You got us kicked out of that Panda Express, remember? And Macy's, which robbed me of some really great deals. Also, January is still my birthday. It's not fair that you get all of December for Jin-love and then my birthday is over stupid Christmas break so I don't even get a good party, so I get the whole month of January to myself. We agreed to this millennia ago. And you guys haven't even given me presents yet!"Yoongi coughs from his bean bag, and Taehyung says, "Except for my tiny, perfect boyfriend who I can hold in the palm of my hand like a doll, and my best friend in the whole world. The only two people who love me, apparently.""You gave him a gift?" says Seokjin, spinning to Jimin like a shark, only staying seated because of Todd's restraining arm. "I can't believe you!"Jimin protests that he didn't, and he's saved from Seokjin's thumbscrews when Yugyeom bashfully raises his hand. "I didn't want him to think we forgot about him," he says. He's with Lisa, holding her hand from a very proper one foot apart on the love seat, and Taehyung makes a mental note to go squeeze on the other side of Yugyeom later by claiming his horoscope told him to.But not yet, because he has to fight with Seokjin first. "Are you withholding presents from me? Are you organizing a cabalistic blockade against me being celebrated? Are you really that petty?"Seokjin nods."It was eighteen hours," says Taehyung, stamping his foot on the coffee table and almost falling off. "We called you eighteen hours after we kissed. It wasn't even a full day!""I don't care," says Seokjin, crossing his arms. "I don't have many rules in this world. Three, to be exact. No white after Labor Day, never bring a carnation within fifty feet of my person, and when your best friends get horny in their hearts you get an immediate text. I don't think these rules are unreasonable, and I'm always very up front about them. Right, sweetheart?""Absolutely," says Todd, and Hoseok surfaces for a brief moment to make a whip-cracking sound that makes Jeongguk laugh."You knew the rules and you chose to break them," says Seokjin. "Don't blame the legal system for your transgressions."Taehyung hops down off of the coffee table and scuffs his foot on the floor, then curls up on top of Yoongi and his bean bag as best he can considering how small they both are. "I hate it here. There's so much wicker," he says blinking at him pathetically.Yoongi flicks him in the forehead with a long finger. "Stop it," he says, then flicks him again. "You know he's only doing this to get a reaction. Jimin wouldn't do it if it were really mean."Taehyung shrugs, trying to communicate that sometimes he can't help but give a reaction and that second-semester-of-college Jimin is a lot sassier than he used to be, but Yoongi doesn't get any more sympathetic even though he kisses him thoroughly. When he's done, he smiles with the softest filter over his face. "Besides, you had a good birthday, didn't you?"He's wearing a snapback just for Taehyung, which means he'd agree to anything right now, but it also happens to be true. "Yeah, it was amazing.""What did you guys do?" asks Yugyeom.Seokjin clears his throat suggestively, and Taehyung karate chops the air to make him stop. "Yoongi took me on a magical adventure. Don't make it weird."Because it hadn't been weird at all, it had been sweeter than gummi worms, though Yoongi had included plenty of those as well. He'd woken Taehyung up with little kisses, Taehyung's parents turning a twinkling, blind eye to their PG-13 rated sleepovers over the whole holidays, and Taehyung had gotten to open his own eyes to the perfect sound of Yoongi singing him a quiet happy birthday.The day had only gotten better from there.Yoongi made him breakfast, eggs and bacon, adorably wearing the powder blue apron with crooked stitching that Taehyung had made during an early home economics class, and Taehyung helped out by holding onto his waist at every opportunity. Yoongi pretended to be annoyed, especially when parents came in to coo at them, but whenever Taehyung got more than a few feet away Yoongi pouted until Taehyung came back and clung to him again.Taehyung thought that breakfast would be all, barring whatever present Yoongi had, because while he'd been asking for a bouncy castle and skywriting, in truth the only gift he really wanted for his whole life had recently happened and Yoongi knew it perfectly well.But instead Yoongi cleaned up the kitchen and told Taehyung to get dressed, and to wear his new scarf from Yugyeom so he didn't get cold. When Taehyung asked where they were going, deploying his most earnest begging eyes, Yoongi wouldn't say even a single word. He just smiled his Sphinx-like smile and poked Taehyung out to the car in total silence, where he had gummi worms and a sappy love song playlist waiting for them both.The drive was pretty, because unlike the actual day of his birth it was cold but sunny, and Yoongi held his hand as they flew down the highway in his car, the same car he'd had since high school that Taehyung had ridden shotgun in for his whole life. It had even fonder memories now, because Yoongi and Taehyung had made out in the backseat for a solid hour in an empty parking lot the day after Christmas, just because Taehyung wanted to cleanse its aura of past hookups.Yoongi had tried to tell him he'd never hooked up in his car in his life, but Taehyung just shushed him gently and wiggled his pants off, another trick he'd found worked very well to get Yoongi to stop being difficult and start paying him the proper attention.An hour outside of the city Yoongi pulled off under a sign that said Petting Zoo, and Taehyung looked at him with wide eyes the entire rest of the way, watching Yoongi's pleased face getting even more pleased as Taehyung's excitement grew, like a romantic feedback loop. And later, when Taehyung was ecstatically holding a baby duck in one hand with his free arm around a Shetland pony, Yoongi's smile practically split his face in two."Twentieth birthdays are horse birthdays, right?" he said casually, like they weren't inside the culmination of every one of Taehyung's dreams. "I think someone told me that.""You remembered!"Yoongi looked down, scuffing his feet on the dirt and rearranging his beanie in his most deliberate fashion, and mumbled, "I remember everything you say."The zoo attendant with them made a little squealing sound, echoed by Taehyung, and they spent a solid twenty minutes talking about how sweet Yoongi was while she brought him more animals to nuzzle. Yoongi used his time protesting his own sweetness and taking pictures of Taehyung with his phone, capturing every animal with fierce concentration while his face was a sunset and his ears were pink with what he claimed was cold.So Taehyung's lock screen is now a picture of him with a billy goat with Yoongi's face Photoshopped on top of it, and it's the best birthday present he could ever have imagined. Even though the goat had eaten a little bit of his Yugyeom scarf.He's busy showing Yugyeom and Lisa his beautiful creation and recounting the way the billy goat and Yoongi had the exact same expressions, right down to the eyebrows, when suddenly all the lights in the room go out without warning. He looks around for Yoongi, already reaching for his hand, but before he can figure out where he went a row of candles floats out of the kitchen, followed by a cacophony of birthday song sounds.Taehyung claps, jumping up and conducting them all in ragged chorus, Yoongi drawing out the last line like an opera singer while Taehyung motions for more vibrato until Jeongguk smacks him on the back of the head. Taehyung laughs as the lights come back on, and he blows out his candle with gusto, wishing as hard as he's ever wished for this, this moment right now forever, and Yoongi's smile never to dim.His eyes are full of tears when he opens them back up, which Seokjin distracts people from by acting like he's pulling the sword from the stone with every candle. And Yoongi silently, indulgently rubs the pad of his thumbs under Taehyung's eyes to catch the moisture while everyone laughs."Thanks guys," says Taehyung when they're done, and he's got Yugyeom under one arm and Jeongguk under another, with Hoseok and Jimin trying to worm their way in with lots of elbows, and he really, really means it. "Where are my gifts?"Jimin laughs and runs down the hall with Jeongguk, coming back with their arms full of colorful bags. They all eat cake while Taehyung opens each gift with solemnity and reverence, much to everyone's annoyance, and thanks them all with smacking kisses to the cheek, much to everyone's embarrassment. Namjoon gives him a book about meteors, which makes him laugh, and Jimin gives him a collage of their first semester pictures and memories which makes him cry. Jeongguk hands him an unwrapped electronic water bottle, saying it will get him to the gym more, and Hoseok passes him an over-wrapped box of chocolates, saying it will give him a reason to go to the gym.Yugyeom and Lisa made him coupons to get out of their study sessions, which he's profoundly grateful for, and Yoongi gives him another gift because he knows Taehyung well, which he proves even more clearly when it's just a flier for an upcoming 90s night at a nearby roller skating rink."I'm not taking you, I just wanted you to know," says Yoongi, arms crossed over his chest as Taehyung kisses him on the cheek and his pouty mouth. Because he's lying, and Taehyung already has an outfit chosen for both of them, and they're going to be cute as heck.He turns expectantly to Seokjin and Todd, making little grabby motions, and Seokjin lifts an eyebrow and says, "I made the cake."But Todd's already gotten up, and he freezes guiltily until Seokjin laughs. "It's okay, we've tortured him enough. Your gift, my spoiled little boy, is a game! A game for all of us, called Pin the Tie on the Yoongi."Taehyung frowns, but it turns to delight when Todd crab-walks out of the hallway holding a massive piece of cardboard with a picture that Taehyung recognizes immediately."Oh my god," he says, jumping up and running a finger across it. "It's Operation Prom Ambush!"Yoongi buries his head in his hands, but everyone else gets up and moves closer, not bothering to hide their laughter. Nor should they, as Young Taehyung, in full tuxedo with a polka dot tie, stands in the middle of the life-sized picture grinning hugely. Young Yoongi, already smaller than Taehyung, looks mortified on his left side, while a tall, confused black guy smiles gamely on the right. They're both in tuxes too, Taehyung's arms around them both, and they look like waiters at a very luxurious wedding except for the obviously homey fireplace right behind them."Wow, Tae, you look hot," says Hoseok, which earns him a pinch from Jeongguk and a punch from Yoongi."He's fifteen," says Yoongi.Hoseok rolls his eyes. "Tae, you are an age appropriate compliment and also not nearly as hot as my own boyfriend."Taehyung punches him, too, and Jeongguk gives him a high five with gusto. True to his word, Jeongguk has become another real friend, partially because he's secretly very weird but mostly because he really enjoys torturing Taehyung in their now-regular gym sessions. He'd admitted that he'd found Taehyung a little overwhelming, at first, and still does sometimes, but apparently making Taehyung cry by adding more and more weight to heavy bars and not letting him leave until he lifted them is helping him work out his issues.But Taehyung puts up with it, because he's not exactly ripped but he's already seeing a little more definition in his arms, and Yoongi's keeping his hands to himself less and less these days."So what's the story here?" asks Namjoon, studying the picture like an archaeologist looking at a dinosaur."Yeah, who's this guy?" asks Jimin, pointing at their third wheel.Taehyung laughs. "Yoongi's prom date! Dustin. Dustin was on the basketball team, and Yoongi had a huge crush on him his whole senior year.""I did not," says Yoongi. "It wasn't even a date. We were just making a statement about diversity.""Right, which is why you had me buy cookies to put in his locker before every home game," says Taehyung. "And watched him get them out like some kind of bush-creeper and got all wiggly about it. You ate three breath mints before you asked him to be your Diversity Date. You had a total boner for him.""I can see why," says Hoseok, nodding appreciatively. "Ow! Stop pinching me.""Anyway," says Yoongi loudly. "I went to prom with him, and when he came to pick me up my parents wanted a hundred pictures, which was bad enough. But right when they started Tae came in wearing his tux and jumped into the middle of us, and he wouldn't leave until we took a whole set with him. I don't even know if we ended up getting any of our own, actually, I think he was in every one."Taehyung nods happily. "I was! Though I got a lot with just him, because he was a really good height for practicing for my own prom. But really it was because Yoongi refused to take me as his date, even though I asked him first which was just rude, and Dustin was really nice, so I knew he wouldn't care if I crashed," he says. "Plus I needed to put some condoms in his pocket to help Yoongi with safe sex.""That was you?" says Yoongi. "Oh my god we thought it was my mom. They fell out of his pocket when he got the tickets out at the door, and my history teacher was right there, and they were jumbo-sized, and I couldn't look him in the eye for the rest of the night! Don't laugh!"But Taehyung is laughing, and everyone else has their hands over their mouth except for Seokjin, who's practically howling and not trying to hide it at all. "Tae, you're so mean and you don't even try. Bless you.""It's not mean to not want your friends to get STDs," says Taehyung. "And clearly it was a good investment for the future. Because what if you'd had a wonderful night with Dustin and started dating him for real and then gotten married to him, a beautiful person but obviously inferior to me? What a tragedy that would have been, both for you and for this party!""Wait a second," says Yoongi, zoned out and staring at the cardboard again. "Did you get this picture from my mom? What else did she give you?""That's for me to know and you to find out at your future wedding shower," says Seokjin archly. He holds out his hand, and Todd puts a cardboard bowtie and a kinky-looking silk blindfold in it. "But by the way, your parents are really excited about your relationship. Really excited. It's a little scary. Now, who wants to play first? Bear in mind that you have to take a shot before we spin you around."Lisa volunteers, because she's more competitive than the rest of them put together, though she also fails miserably despite Yugyeom's unsubtle attempts to cheat for her. And as the rest of them take their turns, with varying levels of hazard, Taehyung makes sure he's always hugging someone just to keep the happiness close, and he tries to be as funny as a meteor can ever be.They walk home under the night sky, and it's sparkling and beautiful according to Yoongi."Just like me," says Taehyung happily, swinging their arms from their always-linked hands.Yoongi kicks out with his foot, just enough to catch Taehyung's calf, and says, "You're supposed to say, 'yeah, it is' so that I can say 'I meant you.' You can't keep yelling at me to be more romantic if you're going to ruin my set-ups.""Yes I can."Yoongi sighs. "Yeah, you can."And they smile at each other, and it has so many feelings inside of it that Taehyung will be sorting through them for the rest of his life, probably. But they're good feelings, big feelings and small feelings and everything in between, and he likes to hold them all in his heart like pebbles. Because he and Yoongi are in love, so much in love that it puts everyone else to shame, and they only fight now when they're really mad, or when Taehyung is bored, and the bickering is just another kind of love pebble between them. Real, but not heavy, and something they've always carried with them.Jimin calls them exhausting, and Jeongguk calls them weird, and Seokjin calls them horny, and while Taehyung denies it he knows they're all true. He's everything, with Yoongi, and Yoongi's everything with him, and whenever he does something now he feels centered, even when Yoongi's nowhere near him. Not centered like he has a best friend and a Rock of Gibraltar, though he has those things too. Centered like there will be a hand in any darkness for him, whenever he needs it, and that hand will never change even a little bit."Can I stay over tonight?" he asks, but it's not really a question, because he's wearing his hookup pants and Yoongi's been casually looking at his ass all night."Not tonight, sorry. I have to finish up some grading before tomorrow, and I have an early meeting with the girl from Kinetics to go over our project.'He looks up apologetically when Taehyung pulls them to a stop in front of the dorm. "But it's my birthday.""I know. I mean, it's not, but I know. I'll make it up to you another night, I promise.""But I'm wearing my hookup pants," says Taehyung, staring down at himself in agitation. "And I miss your penis so much. It's been three whole days since I've seen him!"Even under the moonlight Yoongi's blush is visible, and he coughs a couple of times as he says, "Okay, well, I was just kidding about you not coming over but now I guess you really can't because I don't want to be the guy who blows off his responsibilities because a gorgeous guy likes my dick."Taehyung gasps. "You were teasing me? That's so mean," he says, moving closer, dropping his voice into seduction mode and running a hand up Yoongi's chest. It's a nice chest, he thinks. Just the right size for his palm. "When I was going to give you a really good blowjob and everything.""We need to talk about your oral fixation," says Yoongi before Taehyung steals his words away with the press of his lips, and Yoongi lets out one of his soft little sighs that Taehyung carries inside of him all the time. The only thing better than Yoongi's little sounds is how squirmy he gets when Taehyung tells him how good they are, over and over again right when he's trying to fall asleep, and he makes a mental note to do that again as soon as possible.Someone whistles as they walk past, just as Taehyung is tugging on Yoongi's lower lip and working his hand into his back pocket, and Yoongi tenses and draws away. "I could still technically get in trouble for this," he says quietly.Taehyung steps back immediately, though he doesn't stop touching Yoongi's cheek, and nods reluctantly. There are lines and there are lines, and this is one of the ones they don't cross because Yoongi takes his responsibilities seriously. And it's okay, because Yoongi still reaches up to take his hand, and that's important too.Which doesn't mean he can't complain about it."When we get our own place next year, the first thing we're doing is making out hard, right in front of the building," says Taehyung, a little grumpy as he threads their fingers together.Yoongi's hard to see in the shadow of the overhanging tree, but Taehyung thinks he's surprised. "You want to move in together? It's barely been a month.""Well, first, time is a human construct," says Taehyung. "Second, it will be way more convenient for you to cook me breakfast every day if I don't have to walk through so many hallways to get to you. Third, your RA job takes up too much of your time and I want it back. Fourth, by then we'll have been dating nine months, which is a whole baby. And fifth, you think we're not close enough to live together? Even before we were dating I could list every pair of underwear you owned.""Rearranging someone's carefully organized drawers as a prank once a week doesn't mean you're ready for commitment," says Yoongi, but it's not a real argument. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to do it. Like it's the expected thing. Just because Jin and Todd did it, we can do something else, you know? And this is new to you. Real dating."Taehyung shrugs. "Finding your number one, one and only love is probably new for everyone when it happens," he says. "Unless that hot fox comes along, why shouldn't I move in with you? You're never getting rid of me now. I'm all the way."There's a long silence, a thoughtful silence, and this time it's Yoongi who pulls him in, Yoongi who drinks him down, Yoongi who startles him with his aggression as he pushes Taehyung against the nearby tree trunk. "Stay the night," he says raggedly, when he's done destroying Taehyung's mouth. When Taehyung's lightheaded, and barely breathing, and only able to nod compliantly as Yoongi tugs him through the door, and past the smirking desk attendant, and into his room with very non-Yoongi urgency."What did I say?" says Taehyung, taking off his shirt without being asked. "You have to tell me, because I'm pretty sure you're about to ask me to fuck you, and I need to know how to make that happen on command."Yoongi doesn't answer, staring at him intently, eyes flicking across his torso, and his chest, and finally up to his face, which is grinning. Taehyung makes it grin more, makes it more dangerous, and they haven't even turned on the lights but he knows Yoongi can see his efforts by the way his breathing speeds up."I told Jin once that you didn't care about looks," says Taehyung, turning on his deepest rumble again. "But that was a lie, wasn't it?""I care about everything," says Yoongi, trying to sound casual through the strain in his voice. He reaches out and touches Taehyung's skin, maddeningly slowly, and it's Taehyung's turn to get a little breathless. "But you know how good you look.""Yeah I do," says Taehyung, kissing him again, deep and easy. Driving it, like he always does, and Yoongi comes along with him so willingly. Some nights he fights, and plays games, and in general is a little shit in bed, but not now. Now Yoongi's just as eager, taking it, turning it into more. He's electric, and Taehyung shivers inside of his energy as they slow dance across the room without any music at all.They're to the couch before Taehyung surfaces, gasping, and whispers, "Tell me what I did. I have to know."Yoongi breathes hard beneath him, eyes still midnight but soft, and he says, "I didn't know if you were serious. If you thought… if you really meant things. Not that you were lying, but you move so fast sometimes. I didn't know if it would stick. If I could.""Not stick? You're Superglue," says Taehyung, kissing him again, roving over his face, across his temple, down to his collarbone. Never stopping, always finding new places to leave himself forever. "Peanut butter on the roof of a mouth, gum under a desk, miles of velcro and duct tape and the way saran wrap won't let go of your fingers."Yoongi's laughing by the end, lights back in his body, and Taehyung's vision is tears. "Love, Yoongi. That's what you are, and I'm going to drown in it. Don't ever tell me I don't mean it.""Never," says Yoongi, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Taehyung's hair. "Fuck me tonight?"Taehyung shakes his head, extracting his hair and already taking off Yoongi's pants. "I only make love with you," he says, his fingers making quick work of the fabric in their way. "Plus if I don't blow you I'm going to die."Yoongi groans. "You're so fucking bossy.""You love it," says Taehyung, already drifting down, licking little stripes across the weirdest parts of skin he can find."I love you," says Yoongi, voice a little strained. "And I'll allow it, because it's your birthday. But next time I'm in charge.""Okay," says Taehyung. "You'll be in charge. I'll just supervise a little.""That's not - " Yoongi begins, but it vanishes into swearing when Taehyung's tongue finds the underside of his cock, and the rest of the night is this. Is Taehyung getting everything he wants, and giving Yoongi everything he needs, and exploring all of the places in their souls that fit together without seams.Yoongi's too exhausted to even pretend to give orders by the end, fucked out and messy and begging, and that's exactly the way Taehyung likes him best. He takes a picture of him with his mind, the way he can make Yoongi drift and come back to the same place every time, like a boomerang, and he thinks that's the kind of thing he needs to tell Namjoon someday.When they're cleaned up they haul themselves up to the bunk, which is another thing Taehyung won't miss at all when they get a giant king-sized bed with silk sheets and overstuffed pillows, though when he tells Yoongi that he says that a double is perfectly fine. Taehyung spoons his cutely naked body as he says that dating a pocket-sized person doesn't mean he has to let his feet dangle off of the bed, and Yoongi snuggles against his chest as he calls him a gangly giant with no sense of fiscal responsibility."You know that Pin the Tie on the Yoongi is going to be in the Common Room tomorrow morning," says Taehyung, indulging in a yawn that lets him bite Yoongi's head gently, like an aging circus lion."Stop that," says Yoongi. "And I know. Joon told me he's more scared of Jin than he is of me, so he and Jimin are going to drive it over.""Do you want me to stop them? I can text Jimin, tell him to lose it."Yoongi yawns, too, and Taehyung covers his mouth with his hand until it's done, because he likes the breath against his palm. "No, it's fine. I don't mind people knowing how long it took me to say yes to you. I kept you waiting for years, didn't I?""Hey!" says Taehyung, propping himself up on elbow and poking him. "That is not the moral of Operation Prom Ambush. Yoongi, that's not the story. Yoongi!"But Yoongi is giggling to himself, curling into the mattress and telling Taehyung to go to sleep in his most soothing voice. And Taehyung settles back, scowling, too tired to fight him right now but knowing it's not over."Happy birthday, Tae," says Yoongi into the dark. "I love you, you punk.""I love you, too," says Taehyung, closing his eyes. Seeing the shape of Yoongi inside of his soul, knowing every strand of hair and how it falls across the pillow, and finding sleep inside of that comfort. He floats on its wave, on the certainty of them, and it's impossibly perfect. "I love you more than gummi worms. But just so you know, it's still not the story."