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“You had a good time, right?” Lenalee asked, looking at Allen unsurely. “Of course I did,” he replied, smiling, “your parties are always amazing, Lenalee.” “I’m glad,” she said, smiling back, “Um-- Allen, are you going to take care of… Well,” she gestured to a lump, which was currently sinking in a seat near the windows of the room. “Oh, Lavi? Yeah, I’ll get him.” “Alright, Allen. Goodnight.” “Sleep well, Lenalee,” Allen said, watching her step out of the ballroom into the main hall. He glanced towards the window and its view of the dark clouds choking out the moon, then to Lavi. He sighed and made his way towards him. As he came closer he heard a soft snoring coming from him. “Lavi?” No response. Allen made a face, sitting himself next to Lavi and grabbing one of his shoulders. He shook him gently a few times, repeating his name. He is the heaviest sleeper I know, Allen thought. If he doesn’t wake up, I swear I’ll leave him here. “Hey! Lavi!” Allen said, pinching Lavi’s shoulder. A grunt, then a confused mumble, and finally, a very slurred, “What happenin’ now?” Lavi blinked his eyes open and lifted his head a bit. “Allen? Oh… Where is everyone?” Allen gave him a sympathetic look. “Lavi, they’ve gone to bed. The party’s over.” Lavi immediately sat up straight, knocking Allen’s hand off his shoulder. “Eh? I missed it? Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” “Well, we tried,” Allen said, suppressing a smile, “But we couldn’t.” “That’s not surprising,” Lavi mumbled. Allen gave him a worried look. “Were you up all night with Bookman’s assignments again?” He asked. “Yeah. That damn panda has been working me to death lately,” Lavi said. He paused, resting his head on the palm of his hand, then sighed, “I didn’t even get to dance.” Allen glanced around the ballroom, setting his eyes on the phonograph in the far corner of the room. “Well… The music is still playing,” he said, pushing himself off the seat to face the room. “Allen? You going to bed?” Lavi asked. Allen turned to him, bowing slightly, and he held out his right hand. “May I have this dance?” A small smile tugged at Lavi’s lips, and he took Allen’s hand. “Of course.” Allen placed his left hand onto Lavi’s shoulder, and Lavi placed his on Allen’s waist. They began slowly, their feet only moving a few inches every step. “Lavi? Are you any good at dancing?” Lavi huffed, amused. “I could ask the same of you,” he said, as they gradually began picking up the pace. “But, really,” he continued, “You’re-- Allen! Oww, that was my foot, there.” “Oh no, sorry, Lavi,” Allen said, flustered, “I’m nervous.” “Don’t be. I was about to tell you that you’re doing good. I’ll guide you when you need it; you can look at my feet. Just follow them, is all.” Allen looked from Lavi’s feet to the window again as their movements began smoothing out. The moon was dragging itself out of the clouds, its light contrasting with the room’s orange glow and clothing them in white. “Wow. That’s beautiful.” “Yeah, it is,” Lavi replied. Allen looked from the moon to Lavi, immediately noticing his soft stare. Lavi looked down, then to the right. Allen could’ve sworn he’d seen a red tint on his cheeks, which, he had to admit, matched his hair quite well. Though, he wasn’t sure, perhaps he’d just been seeing things. “Oh, Allen, hold onto my hand tightly, then let go of my shoulder.” “What are you planning?” Allen asked, giving him a look. “Nothing. You’ll go with it.” “Okay,” he mumbled, tightening his grip on Lavi’s hand, feeling Lavi gently twist Allen’s arm upwards. He followed, feeling himself being pulled into a spin. Lavi quickly spun him back, grabbing his waist again. “See? You can trust me,” Lavi said as they continued their steps. “Still not sure about that,” Allen said, laughing softly, “Though I will admit your dancing skills are much better than I thought.” “You think so?” Lavi said, a small smirk on his face. “Yeah, I do.” “Well, then quickly grab onto my shoulders. Real tight, Allen.” “Wait, Lavi, not that good! I don’t want to die, here!” Allen said, following the directions anyway, just in case Lavi decides they weren’t that important in the first place. “I hope you’re ready,” Lavi said, gripping Allen’s waist as he pulled him up and turned, completing a small spin. Allen squeaked a bit, his stomach turning. Whether that was in a rather good way or not, he couldn’t decide. Lavi gently set him back down, Allen sighing in relief, and guided Allen to take a step back, then to the side. He put his hand on Allen’s lower back and dipped him backwards. Allen could feel a rush of blood to his head as his hair grazed the floor. He saw the ceiling and the dimly lit crystal chandelier as he was pulled back up, then was greeted by Lavi while his stomach fluttered. “Warn me before you do that!” Allen said, unsettled. He pulled his arms around Lavi, burying his head in his neck. “Can we please just slow dance now?” He asked. “Y--Yeah,” Lavi said, hugging his arms around Allen, “Sorry.” Allen smiled into Lavi’s neck. “It’s okay. It was kind of fun, honestly, just warn me next time.” “Will do.” Allen tugged his head away, looking towards the ground, watching his steps a bit, then to Lavi. He was staring at the moon. “It really is beautiful,” he murmured, turning to Allen. They smiled at one another, and their steps slowed. Allen pushed his forehead to Lavi’s. “Yeah, it really is,” he breathed. Their lips brushed, and Allen had that feeling in his stomach again, as though Lavi were lifting him back up when they were dancing. He closed the gap between them, and their kiss, it was short, and so unsure, but God, it felt like much more than that to Allen. Lavi pulled away, resting his forehead on Allen’s. “Allen…” Allen looked up to Lavi, a soft smile on his lips that he tried so hard to prevent. “I’m sorry. I can’t,” Lavi finished, pulling away. The smile disappeared. Nothing else was said. Lavi made his way out the ballroom door while Allen just stood there, still draped in moonlight, the last song still playing, wondering what happened. “Oh, no,” he said, slowly collapsing on the floor, “This was a mistake.” He looked back to the window and watched the thickening clouds creeping over the moon. His eyes began to water up. “It really is a beautiful night.” - Lavi checked his watch. 11:58pm. If Bookman wasn’t pissed already, he would be now. He bit his lip while hurriedly walking towards his room. “I know I walked out on him. But it has to be this way,” he mumbled. He reached the door of his room, hesitating. The last thing he wanted to hear was Bookman’s lecture, but it was either that or sleep on the hallway floors. You know, maybe the latter wasn’t such a bad idea. He sighed, opening the door to see Bookman shuffling through the papers Lavi completed last night. “Lavi, you’re late. You kept me waiting over twenty minutes after the party.” “Sorry,” Lavi muttered. He figured it’d be best to save any insults for another time. The last thing he wanted was to get hit. No, not when he was this tired. Bookman ignored him, grabbing another stack of papers and exchanging it with Lavi’s work from yesterday. “I want these done by tomorrow morning.” Does this man know what sleep is? Lavi thought. “Got it.” Bookman turned away from the desk, beginning to walk towards the door. He hesitated. “Oh, and, Lavi?” He hummed in response. “You remember what I told you, right?” “Undoubtedly.” “A Bookman has no need for a heart.” “I know. I’ve heard it a thousand times. I only need to hear it once, y’know,” Lavi replied, beginning to get annoyed. Bookman walked over to Lavi’s desk, grabbing a slip of paper from the stack in his hands. He sat the stack back down, handing the paper to Lavi. Oh, great. I thought I hid this well and I mixed it in with my assignments? Good one, Lavi. “What does it say?” Lavi mused for a moment before reading it aloud. A Bookman has no need for a heart, sure. But that didn’t change the fact that there was an aching pain in his chest, it’s been aching all night, now worse than ever. “Allen,” Lavi said, his eyes glancing towards the tiniest heart cozied up next to the “n.” It hurt to spit the name out. “Right. Lavi, if you’ve remembered what I said,” Bookman replied, grabbing the paper, “then start acting like it.” He ripped paper into four pieces, then tossed them into the wastebasket, grabbed the stack again, and opened the door, sighing. “Good night,” he said, letting himself out. Lavi hummed in response again, grabbing his pen and looking at the stack of papers. He stared at them as silence filled the room; filled his lungs with its void. - A couple days pass by, maybe more, but Lavi doesn’t care. It’s Wednesday morning, and as long as Bookman keeps his promise of only a few sheets for the following days, there’s a great chance that he’ll be sleeping at night again. As well as on a bed, rather than on the desk chair, or the desk itself, or in the bathtub. His risks of death caused by drowning will significantly drop after today. He pushed himself out of the chair, thinking about getting coffee. Deciding he doesn’t want to accidentally fall asleep again, he went through his door and down the steps. Before he could get past the cafeteria doors, which, by now, felt like Heaven’s gates, Kanda stops him. “Oh, Hey Yuu!” Lavi greeted him, plastering a bright smile on his face, despite his body feeling too tired to do so. “Don’t call me that. Kamui wants to see us.” Kanda turned, already heading to Kamui’s office. Lavi sighed, wondering if it was possible he was going through caffeine withdrawal. He followed Kanda into the office. “Lavi, Kanda, good morning. I have an assignment for you,” Kamui announced, “there’s been an awfully large amount of akuma flooding this town in Austria,” he said, pointing at a map, “Reportedly, a finder and an exorcist were passing through the town about a month back, but haven’t come back. Not sure if there’s innocence, but it may be possible a member of the Noah family was spotted.” Lavi tried to catch Kanda’s gaze, but to no avail. He spotted Lenalee near the door, holding a tray of coffee. “Anywa-ays,” Kamui sang, “You both get two days to prepare, including today. You’ll leave Friday morning. Isn’t that nice? I’ve been getting caught up in my work by two nights, making me able to assign missions quicker! Well… perhaps that should mean that you should leave sooner, then? Erm… Now, wait a minute,” He rambled, grabbing at some papers. Lavi began to tune out rather quickly, spotting Allen walking right behind Lenalee. They made eye contact before Lavi glanced back at Kamui’s desk, then, back towards Allen.He’s already walking out the door. Lavi bit his lip and made up his mind. “Allen, wait!” he called, running towards the door. “Lavi! Hey! I-- Well, Friday morning it is, then, Kanda.” Lavi pushed himself through the doors, looking down the hallways, trying to spot Allen, but to no avail. He sighed, leaning against the door frame. And that pain, that ache in his chest, it flourished through his limbs. - The day passed by with Lavi hardly realizing it. His limbs felt so heavy, and all he wanted to do for days was lay down on his bed and sleep. Tonight was his chance, and he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity for anyone. He finished up the last of his paperwork, then glanced at the wastebasket. Then again, there was that. He made his way towards the basket, hesitating before he removed a good few handfuls of crumpled up papers. He spotted “All” at the bottom and another piece that looked as though it’d fit well. He stood once he grabbed them, putting the two together as he sat on his bed. He sighed, Allen’s melancholy facial expressions etched in his mind from this morning. He reached to his desk and set the ripped remains on the edge of it, then stripped his shirt and curled up into bed, exhaustion taking over. And still, Allen’s face was etched in his mind. His white hair, it’d catch the moonlight’s glow, and emit a luminous silver. His grey eyes would appear to be that same color in the light. His skin became visibly more pale and pearlescent looking. He was beautiful in the moonlight, as beautiful as the moon. And Allen didn’t know it, but Lavi has danced with countless women, and he was still the most graceful. Even after stepping on his foot. Lavi turned in his bed several times, opening his eyes. He immediately noticed he’d been facing the window, the bright moon filling his room with its glow. He sighed, blocking the blinding light with his hand, then furrowed his brows and set his feet onto the floor. He pushed himself off, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head as he walked out the door. He made his way towards the ballroom, realizing that he’d forgotten to put on his shoes only after reaching it. Deciding he was too tired to care, he pushed himself through the door. His breath caught in his throat, eyes widening as he saw the sight before him. The lights were completely off, but the room was illuminated by the moon’s beams hitting the crystals of the chandelier. He shoved his hands into his pockets, walking towards the middle of the room. Pulling out one of his hands, he slowly turned it back and forth, watching speckles of light, both big and small, dancing across his skin. “Wow,” he murmured, deciding to linger a few more minutes before heading back towards his room. He grabbed the handle, then hesitated, glancing to Allen’s bedroom door, which was only a few doors down. He didn’t really want to disturb Allen. But then again, he didn’t want this ache in his chest to continue its way through his veins, and if Allen had the same ache, and if there was a chance he could fix it, Lavi knew he’d take it. These feelings that he had, he couldn’t bear them. And he thought of that paper sitting atop his desk, and the kiss, and everything he knew he wasn’t supposed to care about. He cursed under his breath, lifting his hand away from the handle and making his way to Allen’s door. He knocked politely, once, twice, an anxiousness festering in his throat. The door opened, Allen rubbing his eyes. He looked at Lavi. “Oh,” Allen said, then sighed, “What do you want?” “Um, Allen, I need to tell you something,” Lavi said unsurely, the anxiousness almost choking his words. Allen gave him a look, then opened the door further, letting Lavi in. “This better be damn good,” he said. “Allen,” he said, leaning against the back of the door, “I need to apologize. I shouldn’t have walked out on you that night. I… Could have said something, and I didn’t. I’m sorry.” Allen looked at him for a few seconds. Lavi couldn’t read him, for once. “Great. Is that all?” That anxiousness, it began to burn. “No.” Allen began to look almost annoyed, something Lavi considered rare, at least, rare that it’d be because of him. “I… Wanted to tell you, I won’t next time. I won’t do that to you again, I don’t want to do anything to hurt you. I care about you too much.” Allen’s expression began to soften. “Which isn’t what I’m supposed to do, I guess. I’m not, but I do. Allen, I-- I’ll stay with you to the end of the last song next time. I’ll stay with you to the end of everything.” Lavi paused for a few seconds, trying to calm himself down. “I’m supposed to, but I can’t. I can’t deny how much I’ve fallen in love with you anymore.” Allen looked down, then into Lavi’s eyes. “Lavi, I--” he hesitated, then continued, smiling, “I love you too.” Lavi felt his face get hot, and he tried not to show his relief. He cleared his throat. “Uhm, Allen? Is it okay if we try that kiss again?” Allen smiled, almost immediately cupping Lavi’s face, pulling him closer. “Thought you’d never ask,” he said, their lips meeting. Lavi could taste the passion on Allen, and he wished for a second that this could’ve lasted forever, or at least until his lips were sore. He placed his hands across Allen’s back, wanting to be as close as possible, but Allen pulled away after another moment, dragging his hand to Lavi’s chest. “This is a big mistake,” he said, backing away. He looked into Lavi’s eyes, then turned, heading towards the small balcony across the room. “Allen? What’s wrong?” Lavi asked, following him. Allen pushed open the doors, stepping outside. “You’re leaving soon,” he said, leaning against the railing. “Well, yeah, I am,” Lavi replied, leaning next to him. “Come on, Lavi, don’t act like it’s nothing. An exorcist went missing. There were sightings of the Noah clan. I don’t know what could happen to you.” “You heard, huh?” “I’m not deaf.” “Allen, you know I can handle myself. I’ve saved your ass countless times on top of that, beansprout.” “If we’re going to be together, you’re gonna have to change that nickname, first off, and I know that, Lavi, but… Still, I…” he trailed off. “Here, now, look at it this way. Even if I die, or you die, or anything, at least we’ll have memories of each other rather than our desperate, unrequited love, yeah?” Allen smiled, amused. “Yeah, I suppose.” He breathed in the crisp fall air for a moment, watching the tree line flail in the wind. “I’ll break without you.” Lavi looked out at nothing, taking in a deep breath. “I will too, Allen.” He put his arm around Allen’s shoulder, pulling him close. Just before Lavi managed to fall asleep on his feet, Allen helped him onto the bed. They laid next to one another, Allen burying his head into Lavi’s neck until they both fell asleep. - Lavi stirred, turning his head to the balcony, taking in the sunlight pouring into the room. He quickly realized he fell asleep on Allen’s bed. “Oh, you’re awake,” Allen said, holding a cup of coffee, “Here. I’d figured you’d need this.” “Thanks,” Lavi said, taking the mug from Allen. He took a sip of the bitter drink, then looked back to Allen. “What time is it?” “Um, I think it’ll be nine soon.” “Ah, right, I gotta get back to my room,” he replied, pushing himself off the bed and walking towards the door. “Lavi, before you go…” Allen said, walking up to him. “…Yeah?” Allen smiled, planting a quick kiss on Lavi’s cheek. “That’s all.” Lavi smiled back before heading out the door. “See you later,” he said. “Yeah.” Their interactions throughout the day were a striking contrast compared to the past few days. The glances and smiles between them, the butterflies in their stomach, everything flew by so quickly because it felt like it was just them. Lavi even pulled Allen into a small hallway to kiss him because he “almost forgot how nice it felt.” The night came too quickly, and Allen kissed Lavi goodnight before they headed into their own rooms. Allen did protest, asking Lavi if he could stay, but he declined, explaining that tomorrow he had to wake up early to leave. But that didn’t mean either of them could sleep that night. Lavi sat himself on the bed, then looked out his window. The moon was out again, this time appearing as though it were completely full. The night sky was clear, full of stars rather than clouds. He sighed. Allen’s words echoed in his mind. “You’re leaving soon… I’ll break without you.” He sighed again, pushing himself off the bed, throwing on some clothing, and some shoes this time. He then headed downstairs, once again to the ballroom. Taking in the shimmers of lights across the floor, he walked to the phonograph in the left corner of the room. He turned the volume down, in case it was possible to wake someone up when they’re all on different floors, then turned it on and began playing a waltz. It was a more basic piece, but surely different songs would play later. He slowly turned the volume back up, until he found it to be loud, but not too loud. Figuring it was good enough, he quickly turned, rushing to Allen’s bedroom and knocking a few times. Allen opened it, rubbing his eyes, clearly a bit sleepy. “Lavi, is this going to be a regular thing? I was planning on sleeping tonight.” “But I need to show you something!” Lavi protested, trying to make puppy eyes, even though he knew that Allen would probably see right through them. “Didn’t you say you had to wake up early tomorrow?” “Yeah, exactly, Allen. Because I leave tomorrow, I need to show you.” Allen stared at him for a few more seconds, then sighed, making up his mind. “Alright. Let me just get dressed.” Allen shut the door while Lavi sighed, relieved. A few minutes passed before Allen opened it up again, and Lavi grabbed his hand and turned towards the stairs. “Where are we going? I thought it’d just be in your bedroom,” Allen said, watching where he stepped. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Lavi teased, avoiding the question. “H-Hey! You know that’s not what I meant!” Lavi smirked, guiding Allen to the ballroom doors. The music was just barely audible. “The ballroom?” Allen asked, looking at Lavi, clearly uncertain. “Go on,” he said. Allen pushed one of the doors open, his eyes getting big and a smile growing on his face as he studied the room. “It’s like there’s a sky full of stars in here,” he murmured. Lavi walked into the room, pushing past Allen. He faced the window, looking at the moon for a second, then turned to Allen, smiling. He held out his hand. “May I have this dance?” He watched Allen, waiting for an answer. Allen’s smile grew and Lavi thought he saw his eyes watering. “Allen?” Allen hesitated for a second, then rushed past Lavi’s hand. He wrapped his arms around Lavi, pulling him into a hug and almost knocking him over in the process. “I love you so much,” Allen said, his words muffled against Lavi’s chest. They held each other for a few moments before Allen pulled away. “Yes, you may,” he answered, grabbing Lavi’s right hand and smiling. And so they danced, they danced until their feet ached and they were out of breath, they danced until the end of the last song. Allen even let Lavi lift him up and spin him again. Allen walked towards the windows, collapsing in one of the seats while Lavi went to turn off the phonograph, following him shortly after. They sat there for a little while, Allen resting his head on Lavi’s shoulder. “That was amazing,” Allen said, “thank you.” “No need to thank me, I had as much fun as you.” Allen hummed, closing his eyes. “Still, I don’t want you to go away, Lavi.” “I know you don’t.” They sat in silence. “But listen, Allen, whatever happens to me, remember that you’re not alone. I’ll always be with you.” “Easier said than done.” “Hey, the moon doesn’t disappear if there’s clouds out. It doesn’t disappear when it sinks below the horizon. I won’t either,” Lavi paused, wrapping his arm around Allen’s shoulder, “and if you can’t remember that, look at the moon, and maybe it’ll remind you of me.” Allen smiled, laughing softly. “You’re so mushy,” he said. “That’s my job, love.” “‘Love,’ huh? Better than beansprout, I suppose.” “I was hoping you’d approve.” Allen sighed. “Alright, Lavi, I’ll do that. As long as you do the same.” Lavi smiled. “I already do.”