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Sonic woke up. He had stomach pains. “Fuck.” He rain to the bathroom. Shadow giginka arrived home. “Sonic? What the fuck, banana?” Sonic slammed the door with the force of one trans man, he loves SLURS. Then he shit for a good 30 full seconds while looking his lover right in the eyes.Shadow was cofuzzled. “Sonic, are you tryingto say what i think you’re saying?”“Yes, I will marry you,” sonic said and then gave a small platonic toot of approval“What? No, ew queer. I'm all about that ace, bout that ace, no romo” Said shadow giginka. “”I mean that you are trangenerlingly mpreg.”Sonic was shocked. “OH FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!” said sonic said sonic.“There’s no way i could be pregnant, im not like those discussing gays im ace.” Cried sonic the acehog“Yes but we exchanged overwatch IDs” shadow gijinka explained. Uke sonic gasped… this was true! Their overwatch seed was growing inside him, and trying to get out through his trans bowels. Shadow giginka placed a small orb hand upon Uke Sonic’s shoulder, “Its okay my qppiss.” He said, “We’ll get through this together…….”9 months laterShadow giginka was very stupid. He didnt know how to be a father. He was a childhating asexual. All he knew was how to asexually clone himself not care for a baby, and even the cloning didnt work out too well bc his older son was beginning to show signs of horniness and fucking like a chad. Shadow giginka suddenly got a phone call. It was Uke Sonic!“I’m in labor.” Said Uke Sonic ukelelel. “im sorry uke bill cipher” responded shadow“What the fuck? Bullying much….. personally I prefer voltron. Anyways get over here.”Voltron? Shadow giginka thought. That’s right! There was a new episode of voltron on. He turned on the tv and ignored his pregant qppiss. Surely Uke Sonic could wait……Meanwhile sonic had already given birth. His baby slid out of his colon with the power of pepto slursmal (pepto bismol designed especially for slurslingers). His baby was stark crackerly white………. Almost like komaeda but not bc he was valid. This disturbed uke sonic… but he decided to name him Mochi, after a rice ball, even tho Mochi comes in like a million different colors, but Uke Sonic was a dumb thot so whatever Mochi was very adorable, but unfortunately, he was born in the Ouma’s/Denny's restaurant/unsanctioned illegal hospital. Thus, all the nurses hated mochi, and refused to tell Uke Sonic that he was premature, or that they were secretly giving Uke Sonic estrogen pills to destransiton him so he could provide his riceball child tittymilk like Milkimoo.
So the premature mochi was brought home. Voltron had finally ended. “Fuck you.” Said Uke Sonic.Shadow giginka, “Ok,” he said and went back to watching Supernatural season 47.
Sonic and Shadow were very stupid. They had no idea what to feed their child or how to take care of him. Sonic blended up a chili dog and a cactus. “Doesnt it need like milk” said Shadow gininka with his many ,many abs “Yeah like… I dont want to detransition for this stupid faggot tho,’” uke sonic said slurrishly\Shadow Glinka sighed. “Cant you just go to walgreens and get formula or something?”“havent you heard? Milkimoo has a monopoly on the titmilk market now. All titmilk comes from him and costs $490000990 juggalo coins.”Shadztypoo was determined. He was going to rob the Walgreens Shadow Giginka walked into the walgreens and tried to steal the milk, but he accidentally stole the crack instead. The komaeda clan has a monopoly on crack, and the minute a shangry hand was placed upon it, alarms began to sound. Shadow giginka was arrested and sentenced to prison (but not horny prison for allogays, ew).Shadow giginka did not arrive home, and mochi was still hungry. “Wellnfuyck.” Said Uke Sonic. He looked at mochi, that disgusting child. How dare he be more crackery than him. How dare he be born from non asexual means. How dare this child not be the colors of the ace flag. Uke Sonic hated Shadow giginka, but he was his qpp….and thus he needed to bail him out. Uke Sonic called up the Shangry Customer Service. “Shadow..” Said Uke Sonic, “I need a favor….”————-Shadow Glinka arrived home. The pure gray homestuck house. But he was not alone…..Uke Sonic convinced Shadow to release his qpp, but only on the condition that Uke Sonic stopped trying to feed his child Doritos and hot pockets and give him up to the shangry brotherhood.Pope Chaz and Cardinal Gabriel the furries arrived to take Mochi away. Uke Sonic reluctantly handed over his child. “I wonder” Uke Sonic thought. “What could have been?”The shangry vassals took Mochi to a new home: the lusus of Tittie Boobie, where he would surely grow strong, as Tittie Boobie lusus was the last known source of tit milk besides Milkimoo. Alex, while known for having boobie even larger than tittie boobie and milkimoo combined, had such a fucking awful terrible diet of burgers and bad media content that any milk he couldve produced wouldve had less nutrients than a saltine cracker. So instead Mochi would be fed and raised by the only valid homestuck (besides tavros).......Mochi would live…...he would grow…...and maybe one day……….he would meet his asexual fathers once again…
TO BE CONTINUED
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Tittie Boobie lusus cradled the crackery white baby mochi using her extra limb tits. She had many pair of boobies just like Slav it was to the point that her entire body was one giant shapeshifted booobs. Becauses she has so many fucking tits she can feed mochi mochingly.
Mochi was too perfect for this slur filled world, he would never utter a slur like his fake woke gay faggot fathers. He was so perfect breath of the wild music literally came from him at all times like a lo-fi livestream.Mochi was given a strict feeding schedule so he would grow strong, but not too strong. The Shangrybrothehood feared that Tittie Boobie’s lusus milk would cause Mochi to grow too fucking fast, like that stupid baby from Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 which might I add had a deal with Jamba Juice.
Eventually mochi was the weight of a normal hedgehog giginka thing. He looked like this
(now thats what i call baby ) he is very cute and epic, you see. He is also albino not unlike one half of davekat slurs however he is valid so nevermindOne day, as mochi was playing mario kart with his “sister” (why is sister in quotes) (?) Tittie Boobie, Tittie Boobie Lusus downed a whole bottle of red wine that could possibly be wine infused ketchup or ketchup infused wine. “Now listen Mochi.” She said. “Soon you’ll be old enough to go out into the wild. You have to watch out for the dangers of Earth. Especially the toe suckers. Do not let them suck your toes, lest they suck the soul right out of you through your feet.”mochi made this face. Probably most likely bc she drank her wine so hard it crinkled like a water bottle, the glass shouldve shattered, but it didnt. Which one is more terrifying is, frankly, up to you.So Tittie Boobie lusus told the tale of the Ouma and his slur juice(Fanta Faygo Lacroix), and the sacred grape forest where he harvested the grapes for his slur juice. “If Ouma, or any of the Komaeda clan for that matter finds you, your toes are as good as snatched.” Mochi was terrified. He did not want his toes to be snatched. He vowed to never venture into the Pine Barrens where Ouma & Friends lurked
as they drank la croix ableistly.And so the day came: Mochi was to venture out to the Taco Bell to pick up Tittie Boobie Lusus some Burrichilada Doritos Bowl with a side of blue cheese. if any of you thinks this tastes good fucking fuck you.Mochi walked along the highway after getting the burrichiilada Doritos bowl from the Taco Bell a mile away. It smelled like piss tbh, and vaguely of slurs. He was in New Jersey, but the like, haunted Republican part of New Jersey. Suddenly the burrichilada Doritos bowl Mochi got for Tittie Boobie lusus was torn out of his hands by the wind and flung into the Pine Barrens. Mochi remembered his lusus’s warning, but wanted to make sure she had her burrito, because he was a good boy. So he ventured into the cursed Pine Barrens, knowing it was Komaeda Clan territory
Despite it being 11 am, the sky grew dark and there was no sign of the burrito. The Trees seemed to be alive, painted with the laughing smiles of clowns. “There’s no such thing as clowns...theres no such thing as clowns…” Mochi repeated to himself.But the clowns began to surround him. Mochi began to run, which was very fast. Because even tho his father was an Uke giginka, he was unfortunately the fasted fudanshi alive. So mochi inherited that speed and he ran as fast as his legs could take him. RIGHT INTO A LAKE OF PURPLE SLUR JUICE.Mochi didn’t know how to swim, especially in the thick slurry quality of old nasty left out in the sun faygo-lacroix-fanta-nazi-drink. Suddenly however, he felt someone pull him out of the water.“CaN yOu hEar Me?” he saw a clown man hovering over him like the opening to sdr2.Mochi screamed. “AH.” He shielded his feet “DONT TAKE MY TOES.”The clown Krumped . “What are you even talking about? You literally dont have toes”Mochi realized this was right. He DIDNT have toes. He had valid sonic artist blob feet the whole timeThe crackery white white Snow White rice cracker mochi stood up. “Sorry for yelling, I didnt know clowns were real.”“GOd i wIsh thAt wEre trUe. I hAte clOwns” Said the clown. “MY naMe is GaMeda.”“My name is Mochi.” Said Mochi“LiKe the riCe bAll?” Gameada replied.“What’s a rice ball?”
Mochi mochinghly mochied.“IT’s--whAtever, it’S nOt impoRtant.”“Why are you dressed like a clown if you hate clowns so much?Gameda made a sad honking noise. :o( “GOd daMn iT.” Gameda pulled out the horn hidden in his pocket. “MY fathErs waNt mE To bE disGusting sLur cloWns liKe thEm. SO thEy maKe me wEar makEup aNd cloWn clotHes aNd alwAys hiDe horNs And peAnuts In My pOckets.”“That’s sad :(“ Mochi said, “I think you should be allowed to be whatever you want!” Mochi said while crunching very loudly on some of the peanuts Gameda sadly offered from his pockets.A single tear ran down Gameda’s cheeck, streaking his homestuck facepaint made of bird poop. “MaN I rEally apPreciate tHat…..woUld u lIke To gO fishIng wIth Me?”“Sure! What’s fishing?”
TO BE CONTINUED…………
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Everyday mochi would come to the Barren Pines to fish with Gameda.
Mochi and Gameda became friends quickly and caught absolutely zero fish despite doing it for like 3 hours every day. Probably because they’re in the middle of the pine barrens where there are no lakes or places to catch fish
But it did not matter because they enjoyed each other’s comp[any. Mochi learned all about Gameda’s parents and their empire across the galaxy, converting civilizations to Scientology and the cult of shaggy 2dope.
“ThEyrre awFul mocHi” cried Gameca. “ThE onLy tHing theY lEt mE Listen tO is 10 hOur circUs Music dubStep aNd IcP.:”
Mochi sad. “You should tell them the truth Gameda…. theyre ur parents they luv you.”
“ONe tIme I huGgged my Dad and He jUst said “ew queer”” said gameda
“Arent they gay?” asked mochi
“yeaH” said gameda with no elaboration
“Hm.” Said mochei
And after they wiped the caked on faygo Fanta from their shoes and fishing poles, mochi prepared to say bye. “Gameda,......i hope u can be happy soon. I really love spending time with you.” Mochi smiled mochilty.
Gameda farted. He was so embarrassed...no one had ever shown him such kindness before.
Mochi gave a toot in return. Just like shrek! JUST LIEK CRAYTOON NETWORK OKKO CRAIGS SNAKE THE FAMILY GUY.
Gameda f0ortnicted all the way home.
——-
Meanwhile Komaeda was eating glue,. Gamzee walked into to room. “KoMaEdAs My LoVeR hAvEn’T u NoTiCeD oUr DeAr 8YeAr OlD cHuLd GaMeDa HaS bEeN gOnE fOpR lIkE 5 fUvKiNg HoUrS?”
“No I was too busy asking hinatica to open the d--I mean worrying about our poor dear son : (“ komaeda said making an emoji out loud
Gamzee narrowed his eyes in suspicion ……………………………………………………...bt he let it go
Then suddenly Gameda BURST through the door panting. Gamzee narrowed his deep fryer eyes. He smelled the scent of worms, and not like the kind that secreted from the pores of his stepson, ouma. Not only that, his clown makeup was streaked w sweat.
Gamzee approached his son with a accusatory honk. “DaMnIt BoY I ToLd YoU tO sTaY aWaY fRoM tHe SlUr PoOlS. nO fIsH cAn LiVe ThErE, aNd U sHoUlD bE aT uNiCyClE pRaCtIcE.”
“SoRry Dad I wAs uH…….pRacticing my joKEs.” Said Gameda.
Gamzee frowned, his face folding like the creases of a nuclear waste pile.
Gameda continued to sweat
GaMZEE SENT gameda to his room….
“OuR sOn iS sTrAyInG fRoM tHe PaTh Of AbSoLuTe bOoBoO fOoLeRy AnD cLoWnErY :o( hOnK” gayumzee honk
Gamzee then opend up his flip phone and texted his other lover jeffy heffy weffy teffy leffy. He had been driven into the arms of another clown idiot booboo fool bc of his husbands obsession with hinatica opening the door. But thats a story for another day……………………….1
----------------
The next morning gameda stepped out of his clownish room shaped like a tent and into the clownish hallway (a larger tent) filled with clown paraphernalia.While walking down the clown hall he started in disgust at the joker poster that lined the walls.
Gameda sat down at the table and poured himself a bowl of juggal’os, hot dog and popcorn flavored cereal. Then….his two dados walked in together.
Uh oh. Thoutght Gameda. They never stand next to each other unless some
real shit was up.
“Son…..”said Komaeda,still holding his hinata body pillow. “You are now 7 years old.”
“IM 8”
“Whatever. Anyways u are entering the age of clown maturity, so you will be accompanying us to the most sacred brotherhood meeting of all”
Gamzee pulled out a poster frm his spotted clown pants or something. He unfolded the paper to show what it was.
Then, written on in a sad purple crayon:
And then it said in very small text underneath:
Oh god. Oh GOD no. Thought Gameda.
“you have 12hours…”: gamzee said threateningly for no reason.
“OK….bUt cAn I bRinG a frIend?” Asked Gameda
Komaeda laughed. “Like u have friends. But yeah i guess as long as their a clown.”
Gameda RAN TO THE SLUR PONDS, clown shoes squeaking as his feet hit the ground. As expected, Mochi was waiting for him.
“Gameda?” Mochi asked in his hedgehog chirp. “What is wrong???”
And so, Gameda told him everything. “MoChI….I canT gO aLone…….whAt doO I DoooOOOoOoOOOOOOOOOoOOO???”
Mochi patted gameda on his burlap sack coat. “It ok. Be who are. I will come with u to the juggalo reunion!”
Gameda cringed epically. “GoD, aRe u Sure? LikE, reAlly.”
Mochi nodded, determined look in his eye, like an anime (yet another thing unfortunately inherited from his yaoi fathers.) “Friends stick together. And ur my best friend.”
“WOw…..”said Gameda…” doeS tHAT mAke US moirlals?”
“ Morais...” being raised by a homestuck lusus Mochi was familiar w the concept, “yeas!”
And for teh first time since he first started fishing w mochi…..Gameda smiled, gross yellow homestuck teeth showing. But it was valid.
Gameda took Mochi to the treehouse, where he began Mochi‘ clown transformation. Traditionally, clown makeup was crafted with gallons of fermented bird poop, but Gameda liked Mochi too much to ever put him through that. “Acrylic paint will work…”
One grueling process later (like 20 minutes), the transformation was complete. Mochi had been clownified.
“
Gameda was so conflicted….He hated clowns so much, yet MOchi somehow made it work…..wow...felt that.
The sun was setting, Gameda knew the clown party was about to start….
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Komaeda was waiting outside their circus tent homestuck hive house epic cronkri time . Gamzee was also there (in case u forgot he existed). And they saw their son approach the house over the hills….emerging with a pure starkly white cracker clown brother. He seemed to be a gijinka but that was ok, aftre all the majority of gijinka were racist and that was good and just in eyes of the Komaeda Clan.
“DaD and DAd, thiS is uhHh BoOboo tHe jEster.” Said gameda farting loudly.
Mochi somehow made a clown honk noise with his mouth.
K
o
maeda looked at him judgementally like this
med
Gamzee stepped in with many wacky slide horn cartoon noises as he slipped on several bananas on the way there
“NoW nOw KOmAeDsAuCuS wE mUsT gO oR wE wIlL mIsS tHe FiRsT sEsSiOn Of ThE fAyGo BoNkInG.” Said gamzee
And SO komaeda stuffed his stash of hinata fibers in his pocket and wrapped his family (and “boobopo”) in his WIDE COAT with his many cosmic powers., s They were transported esesdxaszsdss.
Komaeda opened his coat and his family came tumbling out crashing like bowling pins. “WElcoem son!” Said Komaeda placing a single hand coated with an unidentifiable substance on his shoulder. “To the JUggaloing.”:
Gmeda was speechless. Everywhere there were clowns of all shapes and sizes, the full diversity of the great state of Indiana was in full view. He watched as the clowns made merry hijinkas by Juggaloing around the park with dirty rat infested tents, there was a man holding up a strip of cardboard displaying his acid prices, and another man sat in his beach chair with his faygo gun ready to squirt anything and everything,mowing over the crowd in tiny cars, and of course indulging in cases of mikes hard lemonade(mixed with faygo).
Gameda was dicusedd. It was just like his life at home with his slur clown fathers except multipled by 100000000000000. He grabbed Bobooo’s hand to keep himself from tearing out the throats of the first clown in site.
Booboo smiled. “It okay Gameda….just pretend theyre ravers.” Mochi/Bonobo pulled Gameada over to the table lined with several cases of rotten meat and Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos spiked with acid. Mochi smiled, reminiscing on. how it was a burritchialada for his dear lusus that allowed him to meet his toenail i mean moiral Gameada in teh first place.
Komaeda was in the corner snorting his bag of hinata fibers. Gamzee was in a fetal postion on the floor while he texted his dear boyfriend jeffrey heffrey tefrefy leffrey . What a happy couple
Clearly, the Faygo bonking had gone well.
It was at that point a large shadow loomed over the two undercover clowns. It was Shaggy 2 dope him. “SO u must be gaemda. Nice to meet the other hchild of our gods although your a shriveling little sjw looking motherfucker, especially compared to Komzee, god i loved her. Wish she was here. Anyways u and your cracker friend may go to teh childerns sectoiopn.” Shaggy 2dope p[icked them up and said “I’m a chuckster!” and chucked them into the chicken wired cage.
The cage was bigger on the inside than the out. JUST LIKE TDOCTOR WHOOOOGJFGOBJOGFDKLMBKLDMKLGFD GOOD OMENS FANDOM GRAB YOUR SLURNIC SCREWDRIVERS. IN there were several clown children. But in the corner there was a 9 ft tall adult woman
“komZee???????????” gameda asked
“HahhaaahaaJIFDKSFJASDNFKJKJDN WHATSSS UP NRBRBROGOOOOO HAHA” she said tying together a balloon animal.
“wHat aRe yOu doiNg herE????? tHis iS thE cHildrens teNt, tHe guY waS jUst sAying hE miSsed yU hoW dId yOu Get heRe?????”
“II LOVEOOOOVOOVOOEOEEE THE JUYGGGGGGGGAAALLOING LITTLE BROOO. THE AUTHORities couldn’t KEEP ME AWAY”
“BUt ur aN aDult, yOu cAN
jUst go outSide.”
“I DDODNNT T NEE ED ASCICIDD IM HIGGHH ON LIFFFEE E AND CLOWWNNSS SBRROOO”
MOchi was very confused. “Who is this large cackling woman gameda?”
Komzee did the splits. “WHOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOO> ITS ME FUCKCASSS SWHO THE FUCKC ELSEL WOUDLD DIT T TBEEE???!
Mochi sobbed. :”im sorry dont hurt me”
Komzee laughed. “JK. I’m gameda’S SISTER! KOMZEE!”
Mochi was VERY surprised. Gameda had never mentioned a sister and especially never mentioned her being insane and 9 feet tall.
Gameda whipped cracked sounde effected like johgnny stest. “She’s the clown my parents always wanted, but their sheer misogyny means she can never be teh heir to Komaeda Clan. “
Komzee nae naed in response. “YEahhh
HAHA AHA HAH THA T LEFT AD D EPEPE SCA R RWIHTUIN ME EBUT I GOT OVER
IT HAHA…...It OKAY. GIVES ME moreEE TIME TO BE SILLYYYYYYYYYYY”
Gameda opened his mouth to say something but before he could finished Komzee yelled “IAMAM SO FUCKCING SILLY BUT I AM F FREEE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Suddenly one of the clown chudlren began sniffing the air loudly. His sunken in eyes stared right at Mochi/booBOododoodp/. “Not one of us” he whispered.
Suddenly, the other clown children began standing up, “Not one of us. Shame. Honk”
They were being surrounded.
“LMFFAOAOO LOOOKS LIVE WE’RE GONGNGA GET EATENEN ALIVE E FUFKCING FINALLYL AHHHHH” Komzee yelled joyously
Mochi yelped like a chihuahua “Gameda…..WHats going on???””
“IdKK!!” Gameda screamed, fart/
Komzee explained. “LMAOOO AHHAH THEY CAN SMELL YOURR NON CLOWWN BLOOD LMFAO……...I COULD D DTELL THE SESECOND YOU CAMEE EIN BUT I DONDNT TFUFCKKING CAAAAAAAAAAREEE IM JUSTT GLAD MY YBROR HAS A F FIRENED. NOW FUCK OFF IFF U DONT WANNA DIEE LMFAOO” she said as the clown children climbed over her and she continued making balloon animals
See, the clown children had not yet been exposed to the wicked elixir that was mikes hard faygonade. Mochi grabbed Gameda’s hand and rushed over to the fence, but there was no door. “HELP!!!” Mochi screamed
Komaeda looked over. “Ain’t that bobsghkoooboooboo?” He asked gamzee. But gamzee was too busy sending jeff vbucks. “ItS aLl ChIlL bRo…..ThEyRe PlAyInG. a GoOd. OlD rOuNd oF ‘mAuL tHe hErEtIc.’”
Meanwhile, the juggalings were closing in on Mochi and Gameda, “Shame.Shame” they repeated.
Mochi was sweating sweating so hard his paint began to fall off. His exposed non clown skin aggravated the children even more, and they began growling like rabid dogs. Mochi took this chance, he picked up gameda and used his untapped sonic the hegdheog powers to bounce off the heads of the children.BIUt the fence was too high...he landed near komzee.
“KoMzee plEAse! We NEEd yoUr HeLP!” Cried gameda.
“SOOORORYTRY BUT IM HAVING WAYYY TO MUCH FUN HERE LOL, EVVERYYONE GEETS EATTENE BY THTE CLOWN CHCILDREEN ONCE EE OR TWWICEEE AS A KIDD ITS FINE”
Gameda thought… getting an idea.”wait! ICP IS ABOUT TO START PLAYING”
“FUCJKKCKA
YEAHAHAH MOSH BABBY” suddenly she threw her balloon animal on the ground and it exploded and burst into flames bc there was lighter fluid in it
The children’s section caught on fire. Mochi bounded out of the flames still holding gameda. The clown children, while immune to fire, began running around in a frenzy, catching the grass, trees, and picnic tables on fire.
Adult clowns and Juggalos stared in awe. THis sight, combined with the sheer power they gained as Shaggy 2dope and the Other one Jammed on stage, sent them into full bat shit fuck all crazy mode.
Several clown outfits caught on fire, and the clowns in them were forced to strip off all their clothes and many clowns ran around nude as the surroundings of suburban Indiana burned around them. Faygo gun man filled his gun with lighter fluid. The clown cars were drivimng donuts around the burning piles of weed and meth, filling the air with the substance, causing them to go even crazier.
And so, the city of indiana was eventually taken over by the the horde of high naked juggalos. They would go on to name it Clown City, and changed the official flag to one of Angel Crust the Titty Clown Horny Man.
By the time ICP finished their concert, the final flame had burned out, Indiana (CLOWN CITY) was mostly a pile of ash. Shaggy 2 dope sat with his head in his hands upon his throne of ash. “We fucked up. We fucked up.”
Komaeda and Gamzee were walking out of the festival together. “We haven’t had a good fire since 93” they said remarking on the pleasantries of their trip
But suddenly, Mochi landed holding gameda.
Gameda still held mochi’s hand. “Wow...wheRe Did u lEarn tO do thaT??”
Mochi scratched his chin “IDk….sure this wont awaken anything in me tho.”
And with that, Komaeda clapped his cheeks all the way to the two boys. Mochi touched his face—the paint was gone!
Komaeda. Reached his hand out towards him:
Mochi closed his eyes...but the hand never came, it had grabbed Gameda by the back of his coat like a kitten. “Time to go home, son”
“As FoR yOu” said Gamzee, mouth covered in barbecue sauce “GO BACK TO WHERE U CAME FROM YOU LITTLE BLASPHEMOUS SLUR.”
Mochi was so scared he ran away, glancing back at Gameda.
Komaeda stared at his son through his slotted sunglasses and smiled. “Now boy, I hope you understand a bit more about the wonderful culture of clownery. Hopefully you’ll appreciate it more now.”
Gameda cry “u aren’t mad about BOBOO?”
Komaeda burped, “LoL no, i knew he wasnt a clown all along. But i knew him coming to the juggalo would show u what non clowns do to our culture….our family….he does not belong my son.” KOmaeda smiled as Gameda frowned/
Of course, Komaeda purposely let BooBoo come because he knew it would cause a fire, which he thought was very funny. But he wouldn’t tell his son this.
“If u spend any more time to him, what happened to INdiana WILL happen
to u, do u understand.”
Gameda nodded, already playing on his gameboy./
\
“Good said Komaeda” Said komaeda/.
And so, Komaeda, Gamzee, and their beautiful son went home, and for the first time, gamzee and komaeda slept in the same room. *there was another bed
As for mochi, he ran all the way back to tittie boobie’s house. Hive thing idk whatever.
Mochi sobbed into her many, many chests. “Oh Tietê boobie lusus…..i just lost my best friend.”
ATitite boobie lusus patted his back. “There there. Where’s my burrichilada btw?”
“Fuck” said mochi.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
CHAPTER 5: ITS NOT OKAY TO IDENTIFY WITH A .
The Asexual Wars were the longest and bloodiest wars in the history of the universe.
It was all they wanted. Uke Sonic rememberes it vividly. Him and his QPP, traveling the world, bringing the asexuality crusades to all the fandom elders, who would in turn pass it down to their fandomlings.
And then, that DISGUSTING slur child was born. Shagry. He was meant to be a testament to the superiority of aceys, but it had gone terribly wrong. Shagry was born………….allosexual. His fathers were repulsed. They had cloned him, made him by the most asexual of means, making sure to not even think of the other while he was being grown in his test tube. They tried several times to correct this, but it was for naught: Shagry would not stop fucking.
Shagry loved the fuck. He went on to become the Chadliest man to ever exist. He had sex with men, women, and everyone in between. He was a pansexy, but not a heart not parts asexy. It was very much about parts because he loved to fuck so much. WOw. P His fucking had given the cursed Aphobic Armies new power, and the Asexual Army’s control was rapidly dwindling, as they were all persuaded to turn allosexual and started fucking each other.
Uke SLonic’s eyes narrowed at the thought. EW. Not only was Shagry allosexual, he was a a gross gaey. This was even WORSE than being a hetero allosexual, because they INSISTED on doing things like KISSING DURING PRIDE. EW. That was an evil affront against asexies who were totally el gee bee tee.
Uke SLONIC stood up as his subordinate approached him. Jughead bowed. “Sir….we’ve caught sight of the Chad.” He slurred.
“Good job Jughead.” Said Uke Sonic, “HE will not esacape us this time. Did you spot Dr House anywhere near him?”
“Not this time sir…” judghead confessed.
Uke Sonic smiled. This was good. Dr. House was arguably even more potent than Shagry himself. While Shagry just wanted to fuck and increase fuck rights everywhere, Dr. House was fueled by nothing but pure hatred for Asexuals. WIth him out of the picture, they had their chance.
“Jughead...round up the war dogs. You ride at dawn.”
“YEas…..” said JUgehad.
—-
Shadow Giginka’s abs abbed abily. He stood up from his purple white black and gray throne. The war dogs were out...maybe today would be teh day his stupid son finally died and asexual rights were given. A small tiny uke hand landed on his shoulder. It was his QPP!
“Finally…..decades of fighting will finally come to an end.” He said taking a slonk of the marihjuanban
“Maybe so, but What makes u think your asexual archie riverdale cuckc man will defeat shagry?”
Uke Sonic took a bite of printer ink like bendy. “Stupid slut, dont u know jughead was only a decoy?” He said black sludge falling out of his mouth amd eyes.
Shadow gijinka eyes widened… “Sonic….u dont mean”
“Oh i mean it. Its time for the Asexual Avengers.”
——-
Gamtav komahina
Jughead and his wild hogs (which were tumblr inclusionists on all fours foaming at the mouth) confronted the Shagry. “Its over, breeder, ur done with.”
Shagry did the fortnite dance and said nothing.
“DO NOT MOCK ME” screamed Cody from Zack and Cody shooting him with his crossbow.
But it did not affect Shagry he was too powerful. With of flex of his chadly muscles, Jughead was knocked back like a gmod ragdoll.
But that was not the end of it……..suddenly the ear grating sound of a gringer man slinging many hetro asexual themes. SHagry snorted. He knew the smell of spotted dick and fish and chips all too well.
It was Ed SHeen, one half of the Asexual Avengers.
“WELL WELL WELL wot do we hav ‘ere” said ed.
Shagry fucked off immediately, his fuck meters were falling dangerously low. But Ed Sheeeren had trapped him in his Pub of Doom and Scientology. There was no choice. Shagry would have to fight.
Eddy Sheddy 9-8=7 accidentally typed that shit sorry but yeah they were fighting. IT was epic.
Because of his low fucky wufcky levels, shagry was finding himself overwhelmed. Ed smiled, and pulled out his projector device.
Shadow Gijinka appeared as a hologram. “Hello my foolish son. I’m prepared to give u one more chance, if u give up and become asexual.”
OH GOD ITS HIM.
Uke Sonic cackled like the joker babyeb in the bbatmanb.
Shagry flipped him off.
Shadow ginjinka gritted his teeth. “Fine i didnt want to lose both my sons but so be it.”
Shagry made a bum killing stalking face insert image here.
“Shadow u dumb ass bitch you weren’t supposed to mention that bastard.” Uke SOnic Screamed.
“Oops’ said Shadow gininka and then ended le phone call.
With that, Ed prepared the final blow, but it was too late. Shagry had bought enough time. Bursting through the pocket dimension like benedict cumberballs in infinity war was Dr. House himself.
“General Shagry.” He said aphobically. His voice alone caused Ed’s asexual flag armor to dissolve.
WIth that, Ed Sherrie was forced to retreat, and SHagry remained alive.
—-
Uke Slonic banged his fist on the table. HE SCREAMD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK.
Yet again, his plans had been foiled and he was LIVID.
“Sir.” Came the voice of the sad unpaid intern. “We found two homeless men digging through our garbage and they would like to speak with you.”
Uke Sonic was NOT pleased. “This better be important.”
——
Uke Sonic walked into the holding cell area. Inside was perhaps the whitest greasiest man he had ever seen and a slimy purple worm. Uke Sonic recognized them o instantly. They were the infamous inventors of the crackerziation and slur extractor machine, Incest man and Randall! Although upon closer inspection Uke Sonic realized Incest Man was actually just a jar of Incest Man’s ashes with a picture of his face on it. That was right, Just the other week the illustrious Shangry and his ally Mike Total Drama had defeated them and destroyed their machines and killed incest man. ANd now, Randall and the ashes were here.
A wild grin appeared on Uke Sonic’s face. “Hello gentlemen. I’d like to make a deal.”
END EXPOSITION CHAPTER
BACK 2 THE MOCHI NEXT CHAPOTER
BELIEVE IT OR NOT< THIS IS STILL A FIC IN DIRECT RESOPONSE TO SONADOW MPREG.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gameda slipped out of his mini clown tent into the bigtop hallway, he carefully tip toed out of the big top tent with out waking up his nasty slurrish father, gamzee and komadaucs
It had been 15 days plus 15 more days since the massacre of the indiana clown festival. Since that day, the mighty fist of komaeda and his many large guns (komaeda is an american) guarded Gameda from going anywhere near the edge of their home into the Pine barrens. But today would be different. You see Komaeda and Gamzee were currently sleeping in because komaeda had to drive 58 hours to get gamzee to the domocratic debates (gamzee is currently the frontrunner, he epicly pwned mr bernie landerrsssssss).
Gameda hopped the fence made of juggling pins and barbed wire balloons. Today would be the day he would meet his QPP toiletnail once again.
Gameda thought he was being very sneaky, however Komzee was completely awake the entire time, hanging upside down in a faygo tree, but simply didn’t give a shit.
---
MOCHIPOV
Mochi mohied along the highway towards the taco bell. But he would not be indulging in a chicken chimichalanga today oh no. Despite the crackheadery of the month prior, Mochi would not let those clown men keep him from seeing his only friend. He held his breath, avoiding the toxic stank of the pine barrens as he entered the treeline.
A hinadam turtle emerged from a pond in the forest.
“Time out… you see deep within the native lore to New Jersey, the New Joiseyian lore, there exists rumors of a hidden village in the woods called Manlet Town. Manlet Town is a rumored place where manlets gather, small manlet houses and manlet cars and manlet streets all crafted for a small community of short kings hidden from civilization. The few existing reports of this supposed Manlet Town report the manlet residence as having huge amounts of short man rage and being incredibly hostile.
Little do most New Jerseyians know, this village does not consist of the average manlet. There is a reason they hide from the world and possess such anger toward the tall. Because this is no average manlet…..this is the oumalings. Do not proceed, young one.”
“Thank you hinadam turtle” said mochi. HE continued down the path, foolishly ignoring the warning. Mochi smiled as he remembered the good times of fishing with his dear friend Gameda. Oh gameda. Despite mochi’s crippling fear of toe snatching clowns, Gameda had singly handedly cured his fears due to being such a Bro.
The pine barren trees began to shuffle.
“W-who’s tehre?” Mochi cri.
The trees only rustled in response. And then, the chanting.
“oooOooooOOOWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA” the trees cried. The fornication.mp4 had commenced.
MOCHI RAN. OH GOD. OH FUCK.
Just like his first night in the pine barrens soooooo long ago, Mochi feared for not only his life, but his toes. And unlike last time, there was no Gameda waiting for him. Oh no, it was somethig ungodly, something naziish and woman=hating.
KERSPLAT. Mochi slipped across the discarded banan peel into the slur pool once again. Before he could scream for help however, the sweaty palms of a salad fingers grasped his paw.
Mochi shuddered. His heart pounded as he glanced up. He was face to face with:
The shknee pics DARLING.
Ouma smiled. “Welllll welll wel wel wel. IF it isnt the newest little fSLUR . burp” Ouma then said a slur.
Mochi shuddered. Who was this stark crackerly white man with the voltron tattoos and tree trunkish calves and the short shitty little body and greasy black slurple hair like severus snape from the harry potter series? Mochi had never seen him befor, but the way his hair greased with unwashed oils and lice and the grime in his teeth and the peepee stains of his pants(ew)sent pure fear down Mochi’s spines (the
bone ones not the hedghog ones). The skin around where the putrid tiny man had grabbed him seemed burned with some kind of horrible black slime.
“F SLUR” OUMA REPEATED LOUDLY AND IN PURPLE GAMZEE WAY.
He SHOUTED the slur to the heavens.The heavens shouted back as his slur echoed through the forest. Mochi was now struggling to escape ouma’s grasp, but in the same way a god fearing american holds onto his AK-47, ouma’s wirely unwashed appendages did not let up.
“Lol epic cringe ITS A PRANK BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (HARASSING BLACK PEOPLE MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS IN THE HOOD PRANK GONE WRONG)“
Mochi had lost his cool. Ok. time to crump. Mochi used his sonicly powers to curl into a ball and spindash out of ouma’s grasp..
‘Wow was that a sonic reference? Thats pretty cringe” said ouma holding his bloodied hand frm sonic attacks, but instead of human blood it was green ooze like from goosebumps.
“Wait….I know who you are! The hinadam turtle told me, youre an oumaling!” said mochi. Mochi does not swear or say slurs, unlike ouma who loves slurs, which mochi just found out.
Ouma chuckled like a true clown. Slowly he peeled off the top layer of his flaky oily disgusting white skin, revealing the joker movie clown makeup undeneath (ew) (we live in a society)
Ouma held his disgusting face skin mask as it waved in the breeze of the barren pines. He smiled joker juggalo pennywiseishly and uttered an ancient clown saying “ yknow mr cracker sonic, we …. Live in a society”
He paused
“Bottome Text”
He paused agai n
“This meme was made by GANG WEED, also I hate women and minorities”
Now mochi was the one cringing. “Ok.”
Ouma LAUGHED. “HA. goes to show no one appreciates gamer gentlemen like me anymore. Not that i care I hate WOMEN AND GAYS.” He got down on all fours, joints cracking animorphsly as he shifted into roach mode. “I was tasked by my f slur dad to keep any nonclowns off the pine barrens. But since i hate
gays like him im just killing everyone i see LOL. SInce youre white tho ill go easy on u” he said racistly.
The sheiths on ouma’s knees were laughing along with the clownlet. Like a thousand thic trans men fliks he skidded across the sticky grass (sticky from the oumooze [ouma ooze]). Ouma’s noodly limbs shot out of their sockets, sending grimy worm toes toward Mochi.
Mochi was 2 fast. He dodged the many gross ouma parts flying through the air, but the acidic ooze spraying out of ouma’s spindashed hand burned his skin. Ouchie!
I need to finish this fast thought Mochi. He got a wonderful idea. Mochi ran towards the slur ponds as ouma pursued him like a dinsney pixar villain snake played by kevin spacey geroge cloony. At the last minute, Mochi jumped intoa ball and out of the way, causing ouma to run straight into the pond. He hopped on his head for good measure, leaving him stuck in the pond.
Ouma said so many slurs as he struggled. “SLURS!” but then he was silent. Mochi’s triumphent feelings faltered as he saw the look upon ouma’s face.
“Now youve done it.” said ouma. “The fornication is complete”
The trees rustled again. The chanting increased once again. Mochi watched in horror as the ouma toenails littering the ground began to sprout faces, hair and limbs. He watched as they conglomerated into the nearest pine tree. Oh god. Oh god. Oh fuck.
Mochi was powerless as the toenails became fully formed copies of ouma.
They all laughed in sync, creating the most terrifying noise of slowed down baby cries and the nighcore version of Karkalicious.
“You feeble-minded little f-slur. You cant defeat us. You cannot defeat me. I am all, and I am one. And you? Are nothing. I KNOW EVERYTHING. AND YOU? KNOW NOTHING.”
The oumas began to surround mochi. “My children have to eat” says ouma. “And they’re craving gijinka.”
“Gijinka? Im not a gijinka im a hedgehog!?” Mochi cried in fear.
“Ok Liberal.” said ouma “and i always tip my servers at most 5%”
Vu guy
Ouma lifted himself out of the slur pond with his long arms. “I can smellt the yaoi all over you. And I know this scent. Its been a long time but i remmeber it like itwas yesterday. In the days before I had hair. You hve the same eyes as that giginka.
Him.
The buff man buff men ten abs ten biceps jacob black jacob black stephanie meyer twilight. And that makes you one of
them.
”
Mochi was so confused. “ I dont know what you’re talking about….but all I know is that I have a meeting with someone very important to me…and no dirty rotten anime clwon is gonna stop me!”
Mochi’s eyes glowed red like an edgy wolf OC. The ouma’s hesitated as Mochi began to glow. Ouma’s eyes widened and then he chuckled like his father cackled long before him.
“SO ITS TRUE THEN? WELL WELL WELl…..its been some time, but its good to finally see you again...Shangry!”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter 7: Zuko AirbenderA tumble weed blew avross the swamp despite it being summer. This is new jersey, not the made up state rebeccas ‘DONT BE SUCH A SLUR DOUBLE D” sugar made up so that she wouldnt have to set su in new jersey, the state from addams family 2019. It WAS TIME TO FIGHT. BIG EPIC ANIME MUSIC KICKED IN, OH SHIT BATMAN I MEAN MOCHI RIDDLERS GONNA GET YA I MEAN OUMA!!!!!THE entire cast of we’re gonna kill of cuphead including markimoo showed up to provide the soundtrack‘WERE GONNA KULL OFF CUPHEEAD, WE’RE GONNA MAKE HIM PAY” sang markimoo except he meant mochi"What is...Shangry????" Mochi mochinged mochingingingly."All that in due time f slur" said Ouma as he called him the 54th slur of the past five minutes. "Its more fun to kill you and then brag about it on my blackpill forums before you even know whats happening. Top 10 epic times I owned the libs"Ouma then did some kind of slurrish horny king dice fan esque cuphead move in a way that exuded all the energy of trillizard666's anti sjw deviantart page.he really appreciated how cartoons back in le good old days could be racist without penalty- just like voltron. how he LONGED AFOR THOSE DAYS. Sometimes I think of a game where people shove apples up each others asses. the last one to get one in loses. Pretty fucked up right? Well I'm insane.Meanwhile, markimoo was still singing. ‘WWEREW GONNA GKILLL OFF CUUPEEEEAADD HWHERE GONNA MAKE HIM PAY” these words inspired the ouma: he was gonna KILSLLSLSLSLSLLLLLLL OFFFF C MOOCCHHIII GONNANAA AAAMMAKAJDFEJFENDW D MEDHUJIIH HIMMSMSMSAW WAOPCSODVPADSCISDICCSKISFDPCSAAYYYYYYYYYYMochi thought of his favorite anime hero, Zuko Airbender voiced by severus snape from the harry potter series, as he stared down the primary ouma. He had to think fast. All he knew about ouma so far was that he was incredibly racist, homophobic and every other adjective of bigotry 4chan loved.Mochi thought about naruto running away but he could sense that ouma would simply pursue him to the ends of the earth. He couldnt escapem so he would have to fight.One by one, the oumalinngs bumrushed the glowing moch in a fight scene that was very obviously takling up the entire budget. Not at all spending the entire budget on markimoo. Mochi dodged and weaved with increidble speed, taking out a few oumas here and there but there were far toomany.“This is NO GOOD.” cried Mochi out loud, suddenly speaking in an overly enthusiastic Jason Griffith voice, but his cries were drowned up by the increasing decibels of the ouma crackles.“I need…..to be stronger!!!” he yelped :(.‘IM NOT WEAK” MOCHI thought like infinite from sonic forces when he got EPIC KICKED BY SHADOW “I AM ALL OF I AM ALL OF I AM ALL” the hedgehog.. “IM. NOT. WEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!” THE EDGE BECOMES EVIDENT. Does anyone have my infidget slurs perchanceINFINITES THEME BEGAN TO PLAY SOFTLY THROUGH THE OUMAS SWISS CHEESE-LIKE PORES AMPLIFYING LIKE EDGY WOMANHATING SPEAKERS OF DISGUSTING OILY UNWASHED REDDITOR SKIN.“On god fr!!!!!!!!” mochi moachedMochi’s eyes were no longerInfinites them e is so stroneger than markimoo, he CANT KILL OF CUPEHAD ::((((((“ITS ONLY ME AND YOU, WHO IS GONNA SAVE U NOW ITS ONLY ME AND YOU WHO IS GONNA SAY YOU NOW” infinites theme POURED out of mochi’s eyes, as the powers of shangry dormant within emerged.The normally joyful (albeit in the way that required other to be in pain) Oumas took a step back. Mochi’s normally white fur was now streaked with a single stipe of red that glowed as bright as his eyes."You know what" Mochi said "i'm tired of your shit. Get over here"‘AAAAAAAAAAAAA AA A A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A AA AA AA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” screamed ouma at the refeence to ouma and sans become one. Only his hatred for women and minorities kept him from being overhwelemed by shangryism and also infinties theme“Live and learn. Open your heart. If you’re homophobic u dont love sonoc. Be gay or die. Down with cis.,” mochi was suddenly overcome by gay rights espio, his shangry awanken made hhim able to access all gay rights across space and time. But just like supersonic, mochi’s powers had their limits… he had no chaso emoerald,s or dragon ballz, or any gamer jucie from that one disney channel comedy about the talking dog or some shit….. He was only a young shanryPMochi was no longer lucid, and ouma had already shit all his pants. (This was significant, because even though he pissed his pants as a power move quite often, he was never known to shit them.) But just like that, as the red swirly whirly power surged throughout the pine barrens, it came to a halt. Mochi’s red eyes and fur returned to normal, his golden gamer hat from sonic forces ft. infinite themes had turned back to a normal yellow gamer hat, and he passed out cold.______GAMEDA PORGGERS (is that how u spell POV gamers idk i cant check, email me at free sex at sex dot com @ free sex at sex dot com if u know how to fix this)
Gameda hopped through the bushes and trees, dodging the bear traps and joker clown Gijinkas he knew his fathers had left to guard him. “ThIs iS eAsy. No onE knoWs tHese barreNs liKe I dO, No One eXcept ....”Gameda caught the whiff of purple fanta and rancid pee Cheese. He could detctet the faint aura of markimoo and new what had just happend.“Oh GOD NOoOOOoOOOOO” CRIED GANMEDAGameda ran as fast as his small clown legs could carry him. He also watched naruto so hedid the naruto running and it was super effective. “UnIcycle pracTice wouLd Have beEn A Good inVestment noW tHat I thInk aBout iT.” BUT THERE WAS NO TIME.Gameda had only met his half brother a handful of times, when he emerged from the depths of the Six Flag Gyro Stand to bring his rat meat to the Komaeda Clan Thanksgiving. Only mike pence’s thanksgiving meals were more republican. He was a horrid little thing, somehow even worse than both his fathers -- in fact, despite not being Gamzee's son, he seemed to inherited his love of purple slur soda and saying the n word during clown performances. But what made him even worse is that he collected prejudices and forms of bigotry like Pokemon cards. Gameda hated every moment he was forced to hear about Ouma's manifesto on why oven frenchfries are destroying the traditional family. Even Komzee hated Ouma,and that was fucking saying something, because she actually likes being in the presence of her horrible slur fathers.Now, his stretch was everywhere, saturating the leaves and grass of the Pine Barrens. Then, there was a bright flash of red and the blaring of AND IF UR I F YOUR MESSING ME WI AM A DANGEROUS WEAPON I AMN THE SHARPEST BLADE I AM THE MOST GALAXY BRAIN RICK AND MORRTY INTELLECTUAL IM PICKLE RICIICK Dangerkidz.“WhAt oM EARTH iS tHAt?” Gameda honked. He grumbled as he removed the 14 clown horns from his coat pockets placed there by his fathers. He Gamzee borrorwed them from his favorite clown jeff the killa,Gameda cautiously approached the source of the lighht. To his horror, there was the crouched forms of dozens of laughing oumalings….all surrounding…….oumaaa wait not ouma I mean Mochi.“Wait...NMOCHI!?” Gameda CSremed.Mochi was collapsed upon the swamp, covered in scrapes and remnants of green goosebumps oumooze. He was not moving.AN Ouma stretched his spine 270 degrees to face Gameda, laughing stopping abruptly and frowning. “OhhhhhhhhhH dear,. ur not supposed to be out of the house. if that fslurmaeda finds out we’re both gonna be sent to Hazbin Hotel.” NOT EVEN GORDON RAMSEY COULD SAVE THEM NOW. Of course Ouma realized what this meant and his grin came back. “ON second thought pls go run into the street. In fact I’ll throw u out there myself. JUst let me finish off this ABOMINATION.” he pointed one claw towards the motionless moti mochi.But before Ouma could turn back to his prey, Gameda whipped out an iPhone. The oumalings all gawked in sync, “Is that..>>? IT CANT BE…!” But it was.The screen of the phone had several twinks based on the hottest disney channel disney movies. In english text, it said: “TWISTED WONDERLAND: AMERICAN HETEROSEXUAL WHITE VERSION IN ENGLSIH IT WAS still made by the disgusting blak butler creator but just not as TWINKISH. A creation for the darkest, most pinkish depts of hazbin hiotel itself!!“THE SACRED TEXTS.” THEY SCREAMED. “GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TOOO ME NOWOOWOOOOWOOWOWOWO.”Gameda grimaced and cranked his arm back. With all his might, he yeeted the iPhone across the slur pond into the trees at the other end.In a fit of pure insanity, the oumas scrambled across the slurponds, climbing over each other in frantic pursuit of their prize. One by one, the oumas began to sink in to the slur ponds until one remained. He clenched onto the iPhone and screamed. “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHUHGDHSGDJAMJKGV<JKGVHIJOHKB” in triumph.
Even from the depths of the slur ponds, one could hear that the ringtone gameda had set, “stacys dad” from stacys dad amv, was still audible. Gmaeda
Gameda wasted no time. He snatched up Mochi and ran as fast as he could in the alternate direction. “pls be ok pls be okay :(“ he cried but in a clonwish way. therw
was a very sad honk with every sonadow tear that feel from his eyes. How could this happen….. “How could this happen to me” payed in his mind except it was for mochi, can we can an F in the chat
F
----
MOCHI??? POV. UNKNOWN PLACE UNKNOWN TIME
Mochi opened his eyes. He was laying on a patch of grass, the grass was white much like his heghoggy quills. Around him were marajuana plants their stalks were also white but the leaves themselves were red, but instead of smelling like weed it smlled like weed but like candy and floweers.
“H-hewwo?” mochi called out. His voiced echoed. He stood up cautiously and looked around. There was no one. The sky was dark but full of so many stars, galaxies. He approached one of the weed plants and took a leaf. “HM.”
“Now this is unexpected.” The leaf said in an epic chill stoner voice. “You were not supposed to arrive here for quite some time.”
Mochi SCREAMED. “AH” and dropped the leeef.
The leave floated into the air and magical girl transformed into a man. A man who looked like a living blunt in the most mystical and totally serious way possible. Despite not being told it, Mochi suddenly knew this man's name...Shangty.
“You...youre Shanrgy.” Mochi gawked
“Actually its Shangry" he said "Its ok though youre like 9."
“I dont understand whats happening1 I can only remmebre fighting that little….purple manlet! I remember the power...but I remmber the pain...whats happening to me??”
Shangry placed a hand upon the small heg. “Child, but also my uncle somehow, you came face to face with one of the most abominable beings in the universe and lived. That is no small feat. The Shangry blood runs strong in you, and I believe you could be the one who saves this universe from the Komaeda Clan.”
“What do you mean??? Gameda’s weird anime father? Whats he got to do with this?”
“Yes. They are the dictators of this galaxy where you reside, at least among clowns, and their goals are set out to destroy everything that is valid and just and non-slurrish. They have been enemies of shangrykind for as long as they and we have existed. As my kin, not like that but like actually related to me, you have the responsibility to do so but also like as a stoner communist I dont really care what you do its like your life man, but I’m just telling you the stakes here cuz I had like a prophecy vision while tripping on shrooms."
Mochi nodded. “I understand” he said haveing aboslutely no idea what the fuck this tall haired man was talking about. Yet, he felt calm in his precense, and the pain he had felt from the fight with ouma earlier had dissapated. “What do I need to do?”
“That will be revealed in time.” Shangry said in his mysterious ways and not because the authors havent drafted the rest of this indecipherable sonadow mpreg plot. “But know that me and the rest of the Shangries will be there to help you unlock your powers. You overexterted yourself today, youre lucky to be alive. You will need training.”
Shangry showed mochi his cyrtsal ball. Inside, there was an image of Gameda looking over an unconcious Mochi, crying. Mochi recognized the place, it was Gameda’s treehouse.
“It is...unusual that this child would save you. He is the heir to the Komaedas, after all. Do not lend him your trust so easily.” Shangry said. He took a breif break from being serious to smoke A FAT BLUNT. SMOKE WEED , EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!
Mochi whipped his head back up, “Gameda is my MOTORAIL. " mochi shouted. "He would never betray me!"
"Imma be real with you chief. I dont fucking know what that means. But good for you, I guess."
Shangry took a drag of his joint. He never read homestuck (kmeada’s bible)a nd neither should you.
“All im saying is that you need to he be careful. Yo”u will make many enemies just from who you are and the Oumalings are just few among them. And not just because you're like gay either, people who arent homiphobic will hate you for like real reasons" *
(*shangry is gay too he can say this)
"Whats gay?" mochi knew from his brief contact with gay rights episo through the shangry force that to truly love sonic series, u have to be gay. U have to be gay to love sonic. I f youre straight ur not doing it right, fuck u, give me 200 dollars
"Thats not important right now. You’re incredibly powerful Mochi, u are all that u are all that u are all of me, the logical conclusion of shangryism, and
Mochi placed one paw on Shangry’s crystal ball. “Shangry...you said I was your kin….I had never thought about it before but I dont’ look like Titty Boobie or Titty Boobie Lusus...is she not my real mom? Are you my dad??"
Shangry gave a sad anime face. “Oh god no. I mean. Youre cool but no. first of all I just said that ur my uncle like two seconds ago. So thats like backwards.“ he took anothe r puff of that sweet kush. He was gonna fucjing need it
Mochi was like “darn. wow thats really weird how the heck did that happen" he said bc he doesnt swear and also the authors are staring to realize the batshit of this family tree like holy shit.” dont call me out like that, mochi.
“Tiity boobie is not your biological mother, no, but she raised you and loves you all the same. I am not the one to reveal to you who you truly are yet, though I did say youre my uncle so i kinda bungofucked that one up. but I know that you will find out for yourself.”
“Thats kinda cring and fail.” said mochi.
"Well like. Too bad i guess sorry I have rules too yknow"
"Will i ever see you in real life???" Mochi asked,
"No i'm still growing" shangry said and mochi had no fucking clue what that meant, but maybe it had something to do with weed. "But if you really want more answers to your questions you could find Shangie. She is the one who has taken over the Shangry duties in my absense.
I think she lives in a hut in place called “sims 4,” in the woods in a fake rebecca sugar state or something.” shangry is great at directions and also smoking sweed
"Thats like 10 different potential things.”
“Look dude youll figure it out. But like i said you unlocked your powers way earlier than i thought. You will know when you are needed. Until then, try to enjoy being a kid.”
Mochi nodded. “Alright Shangry.” Mochi felt at ease. These strange powers of his scared him, but now he at least had a semblence of what the fuck was exactly going on tho reallY? Who knows well see.
"And dont go to a clown gathering again . what the hell was up with that." He said and then spun around very quickly qnd drilled himself into the ground like in mario and luigi. It was very symbolic foreshadowing.
“WAIT HOW DO I GO BA “
Mochi woke up. Gameda was. Crying, clown makeup streaming down his face.
“Gameda….stop crying...your bird poop makeup is dripping on me.” Mochi smiled
‘MOCHI!!!” gameda began crying tears of joy instead which didt really help with the bird poop thing but like whatever it was a moment. “YOURE LIFE!!!!”
“Youre still dripping on me, broh” mochi was so fed up with today.
“SoRry! I’M jUst sO Happy, I thOt oUma Had skileD U.’ His clown honks were happy once again, and the faygo enegy in his heart was warm and pure. “ Hameda wiped his eyes on his sleexve. He looked so much better without the grau homestuck jaggalo paint, Mochi thought.,
“It was the thought of u that kept me fighting though! Thank you gameda...and thank you for rescuong me.”
Gameda was taken aback. His fathers had a name for this feeling, but it always had to do with them setting each other on fire and sharing hottubs full of pickle juice. epic .
“If this makes me a gay lefou, the frist gay character ever, then i dont fucking care!” gameda thought. He was just happy not to have to think in homestuck speech.
Tale s old as grime,,,, song as old as slime……… mochi and the clowwwnnnn…….gamochi cinderella
But that is a story for another time. A shangry bible side story perhaps, like rogue one, but for whatever this is.
“Will ouma be back?” Mochi asked.
“Nah. twisted wonderfland is at least 700 hours of gameplay, and half of that ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LEFOU!!”
he was abit sad his iphone was wasted too.
"Also who is Ouma and how do you even know him" mochi miching e.
"HEs mY… Dot dOt doT... Half brotHer" gameda admitted with a grim tone of voice only people related in any way to ouma can express.
Mochi couldnt hold it back. He made a face like this:
"BeLieve mE I kNow Its sO Cringe" ‘his clown honkish voice honked a little sadder, he was so embarrased.
“Well. that doesnt matter.” mochi quoted the song from sonic adventure 2: sonadow testing testing im just suggesting amv.
“You’re nothing like him! You’re nothing like any of them. I dont care what anyone says, you’ll alwasy be best friend.”
Gameda didnt know what the fuck Mochi was talking about but was too happy to say anything.
“YOure My bEst frieNd toO Mochi. Always aNd foreVer.”
Toy story 2 buzz x woody learn how to love amv played softly in the background.