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Judy paced back and forth in Nick’s living room. She’d decided to visit him during one of his, ‘Guy Nights In’. She’d been personally concerned he didn’t have much of a social life and was sliding back into his old con-mammal ways. She paused in her circuit around the coffee table to look at what she felt was proof positive; damning evidence that Nicholas Wilde, Officer of the Zootopian Police Department, had begun the tragic fall from grace. When she’d arrived she heard him talking to someone on the phone about, ‘...getting the good stuff’. When she knocked on the door, she’d heard him squawk and hang up, then begin shuffling things around. It took him a minute to finally open up the door for her. He’d given some weak arguments about not having anything ready for guests, but eventually relented and, after a brutal application of ‘Bunny-Eyes’, agreed to run to the corner store to pick up a frozen Zanto’s(tm) Pizza. She bowed out with a complaint about her feet aching. Once he was gone she began her search, which ended almost moments later at the ill-concealed glossy periodical. She couldn’t believe anything like this was actually published for con-mammals and hustlers, though with the existence of publications like “The Anarchists Cookbook” and terrorist manuals like “Inspire”, she supposed there must be a market for them. Her only, faint, ray of hope was that it had been so poorly concealed as to almost beg to be found. She hoped against hope itself that this was a cry for help: a subconscious act by her friend to guide him back on the straight and narrow. With the Sheppard as her witness she was darn well going to try. Her ears perked as she heard Nick coming up the stairs. She grabbed the offending magazine and stood facing the door, her foot drumming on the floor. The key turned and the door was bumped open by a crimson tail. “Sorry I took so long Fluff, but I got distracted; Sadie was at the counter and they were running this special on Buffalo Chicken... are you okkk!” Judy noted that Nick nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw the magazine she was brandishing. “You and I have a LOT to talk about Nick!” There was fire to be seen in her eyes over the solid black magazine bearing three large X’s on the cover, along with the title and headline. ... “Hustler: Special Edition”"Beaver Hunt: Hustling the Ultimate Score”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Judy fidgeted nervously in her seat in the Bullpen; for all she teased Nick about procrastinating and skirting the rules, he was never late. She heard the door swing open and turned, only to see Snarlov and Wolfard step through sans Nick. She was about to call him on his phone when Higgins marched in and called the room to attention.
Bogo strode in to his usual fanfare. “All right, settle down.” he glanced around, his gaze stopping on Judy. “Officer Hopps, while I will normally take any opportunity for a reprieve from your partner,” there was a chuckle from the collected offices, “...absenteeism is not something I can ignore. So I must ask: do you know where Officer Wilde is?”
She was trying to come up with something while planning to let Nick have it with both barrels later, when she heard a faint, distressing squelching noise approaching the Bullpen. The doors opened and Bogo began to speak. “Officer Wilde, I waahhkk...!”
Judy had just turned to the door when the smell hit her. It reminded her of a childhood memory, when one of the farms septic tanks blew and launched its contents onto a lit trash-burn pit. There stood Nicholas Wilde, Officer of the Zootopian Police Department’s flagship Precinct, covered snout-to-tail in raw sewage.
Judy was about to ask what had happened when he suddenly held up a manual paw, slinging a thin stream of effluent in the process. All was silent as he closed his paw leaving two digits up.
“Ooh, Charades!” A groan of, ‘Goddammit, Moon-Moon!’ sounded from the back of the pen as Wolfard bounced in his seat. “Two words!” The Chief looked ready to yell at the pale wolf when Wilde lowered one of his digits. “First word!” Wolfard looked positively giddy as Nick tapped two digits on his forearm. “Two syllables!” The Fangmeyers looked aghast as morning shift brief seemed to be degenerating into a party game when Nick tapped one digit on his arm. “First syllable!” The entire shift was rapt in morbid fascination, wondering which officer Bogo was going to kill first. Nick tapped one of his ears and pointed up. “Sounds like, Up! Ceiling! Roof!”
“The Doof!” Frank McHorn’s declaration caused nearly every officer in the room to yelp in alarm and flinch away from Nick, who nodded in conformation. Judy could only look on in confusion.
“I was on the Red Line’s Peak St. spur just past Cactus Grove when everything stopped.” Nick spoke for the first time, though he did sound congested. Judy thought he was just doing his best not to smell anything. “He was on the tracks where they cross Willmott Ave. making some kind of speech. He has a, a minder I guess is the word; a flying squirrel named Arthur from NIMH. He’s no longer ‘The Doof’, by the way; he insists they be called ‘Moose and Squirrel!’” Nick struck a ridiculous pose and spoke with a ludicrous East Eweropean accent. “He gets very upset if you don’t.”
Francine Trunkaby cocked her head to the side. “How upset are we talking.”
Nick stared at her silently until a particularly vile ‘ploop’ sounded. “Very. Upset.” He then turned to the podium. “By your leave, Chief, I’m heading to processing to have Bill give me a County Intake Special; I’m going to need a pressure washer to get this, THIS, out of my undercoat.” Without waiting, Nick turned and left the room.
Wolfard huffed. “Well, at least we don’t have to deal with Hoofdor...” The entire room erupted in alarmed noises. Even Bogo looked upset at the name. “What? You heard Nick! This all went down on Willmott; that’s Third Precinct.”
There was a knock at the Bullpen door and a disheveled lion Sgt. stepped in. “Chief, we’re gonna need to drop someone off.”
In the background could be heard a shrill voice. “Please sir, he has a serious mental condition; I really do need to stay with him.”
“Correct!” A pompous voice boomed through the building. “You may not separate the the dynamic duo of Moose and Squirrel!”
Bogo gurgled at the Sgt. While the podium creaked under him.
The lion held her paws in a placating gesture. “I know sir, but with that business with the Arabian League last night, our holding is already in overflow, and I am NOT driving to the Fifth with those two.” With that, the door shut.
There was a banging sound coming from Snarlov as he thumped the back of his head against the wall behind him. “Goddammit, Moon-Moon! Why did you open your maw?!”
Wolfard whimpered as the Chief leveled ‘The Glare’(tm) at him. “Assignments: Wolfard, you’re on cell watch.” The pale wolf all but folded in on himself and whined like a whipped puppy. “As one of our new guests is apparently under psychological evaluation, they are considered a high suicide risk. You will therefore conduct your wellness checks every half-hour, rather than every hour.”
As the Chief droned on with the officer assignments, Judy leaned over to the still shell-shocked McHorn. “Frank, who’s, ‘The Doof’?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nadine and Ralph Fangmeyer were at the head of the procession of cops making their way to motorpool after morning brief. They began checking out their cruiser before heading out on patrol. “Say what you want Naddy, it was a good zinger.”
The tigress paused to give her step-brother a flat stare. “It wasn’t a zinger ‘Rolph’. You know how much Hopps loathes parking duty. Just because it’s April Fools Day...”
The large wolf pointedly ignored his step-sister as he examined the wheel-wells. “And as a result, Leo Johnson gets partnered with Nick? You can’t tell me that isn’t a joke on the Chief’s part. Who knew he had it in him.”
Nadine just shook her head as she settled into the driver’s seat and began testing the various electronics. “Needs of the Force, Little-Bro. Besides, Leo needs to learn a little respect, and having a Fox whose ten years his senior...” Whatever else she was going to say was drowned out when she tested the sirens.
“Move, Bitch! Get out the way!
Get out the way, Bitch, get out the way!”
Ralph all but smashed his paw on the center console shutting the sirens off. The step-siblings had their ears pinned to their heads as they panted for a moment. Glancing around, they saw nearly the entire first shift staring at them. A huge yellow paw snuck in Ralph’s window and flicked the siren switch.
“Oh no, a fight’s out!
I’m gonna punch yo...”
Nadine swatted the offending appendage away from the controls, turning the siren off in the process. Officer Johnson chuckled and looked to his temporary partner as they headed to their own assigned vehicle. “I’d definitely move if I heard that coming down the road. Good one, little buddy.”
Nick snorted without looking up. “This right here? This is why we won’t see another fox on the streets all day today.” He started on the undercarriage and wheel inspections while Leo checked the top of the car. “Foxes get blamed for shit all the time, especially when it comes to anything considered, ‘sneaky’, like pranks.” He hopped through the open passenger window as Leo settled into the driver’s seat. “Hell, when I was a kit, mom would call me in sick for school any time April First was a weekday. I’d have called in SOTS today, but all my medical leave was chewed up after that ‘Moose-&-Squirrel’ nonsense.”
Leo just chuckled. “Yeah, sure it is.” He flicked on the sirens.
“Hey hey, Mister Fox, can you be my lover boy?
“Hey hey, Mister Fox, will you be my Foxy toy?”
“RRREEEEEEEEEEE!”
“AAAHHHH!”
Once again the entire motor pool was fixated on one patrol car as Officer Leo Johnson, former ZU Thunder’s Tight End and decorated SWAT Officer, scrambled out the driver’s side window of his car while clutching at the tattered remains of his right shirt sleeve.
Frank Wolfard and Daniel Snarlov headed over to the panicking lion. “You okay there Leo?” Frank swiftly and efficiently checked over his fellow SWAT Officer’s arm for injuries.
“I don’t know! That song started and Wilde just spun up to like 150 Mew-le-Hurtz! Am I missing any digits?” Johnson’s breathing was starting to level out as he stared at his arm.
Daniel got on the cruiser’s running board and looked inside. Nick was clinging to the center console by his claws, his uniform inflated by his puffed out fur. When he noticed the wolf’s curious gaze, he began gekkering angrily with bared fangs. Snarlov slowly backed away from the car so as not to alarm the agitated fox. “Well Nick’s right freaked out. Wonder what it is about that song?”
Frank patted Leo’s arm. “You’re fine buddy, why don’t you head back to the locker room and get a fresh shirt?” Once the lion was making his way back to the main building, the two wolves headed to their own cruiser. “‘Foxy Boy’ was a Carrot-Pop song from the late 90’s. One hit wonder by ‘The Weaver’.”
“I thought ‘The Weaver’ was an inter-species porn studio over on Pack Street.” Daniel absently remarked to his partner as they started looking their own vehicle over.
Frank settled into the driver’s seat. “Oh it is; they tried branching out, but I think all it really did was recruit new ‘Talent’ for their studio.”
Both Wolfard and Snarlov looked at the center console in mild concern. Daniel glanced at his partner. “Oh stop being a sissy and push the button, Frank.” Officer Wolfard snorted at the jab and hit the siren button.
“Who let the Dogs out?
“Who, who, who, who?
Daniel groaned in frustration. “I should have kno...Knock it off, Moon-Moon!”
“What, I like this song!” Frank Wolfard happily bounced in his seat as he sang along with the tune blaring out of the cruiser’s sirens. Daniel had just shut the siren off when a new song filled the motor pool from McHorn And Francine’s vehicle.
“Don’t stand so,
“Don’t stand so,
“Don’t stand so close to me!”
“Grahhh.” The entire cruiser shook as Frank McHorn threw his head back in frustration.
Francine looked at her partner in concern. “Frank?”
He lolled his head to the side to look at her. “It’s, ‘The Police’.”
Various officers were now standing outside their vehicles, hesitant to be the next victim of the music based Precinct-wide prank when a tiny form in a high visibility vest strutted through the midst of them. All conversation ceased as Judy performed her check of the infamous ‘Three-wheel-Joke-Mobile’ without any seeming concern to the scrutiny she was getting. She popped her Meter-Maid vest taut before she calmly sat in the driver’s seat, then turned her head to face the rest of the squad with her paw poised over the control console.
Officer Anderson’s jaw was almost hanging open. “No, way.” Judy raised her eyebrows, causing a pair of sunglasses which had rested on top of her head to settle onto her muzzle, and hit the switch.
“A, S, S, H, O, L. E!
Everybody!
“A, S, S, H, O, L, E!
“Woof, woofwoof woof, woofwoof woof, woofwoof woof!”
Everybody gaped as the tiny traffic control vehicle made its languid way towards the exit.
“I’m an asshole, and proud of itEE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO”
The entire shift startled as the normal siren began when the cart paused near the roll-up door. A tiny paw stuck out the side of the cart and wiggled a black Thumb-Drive for all to see before heading out. There was a mad scramble as the assembled shift located and removed the offending media devices from the Mobile Data Terminals in their vehicles.
“Frank? Get over here!” Officer Wolfard looked towards Leo Johnson who was in a new shirt standing outside his cruiser. “I think Nick just ate the USB.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Keep low, walk softly; don’t worry about keeping down wind, worry about making a sound.
“Hayesil yayna?” (Have the scouts found him?)
“Nahl, Ni-sithile.” (No, Lieutenant.)
They can’t be everywhere, I just have to find a hole in their lines. There has to be one!
“Marhraye nahl. Sisi hayes!” (He can’t have run far. Search again!)“Vahl-fa!” (Yes sir!)
This can’t be happening; I’m the predator! I’m the wolf! I’m...
“Thli-e, m’haye!” (There he is, I see him!)
“Hrairail-e! Sizaynes!” (Chase him down! Go! Go!)
This can’t be real! Efrafans are bunnies! They’re just bunnies!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Swamp Folk
Bogo stood at the podium as he did every morning. “Next on the docket, there’s been a rash of corporate vandalism: several boats from Furner Broadcasting and ZBS, along with a substantial amount of filming equipment has been destroyed on Margay Key in West Bayou...”
“Not it!” Judy jumped as Nick, Frank McHorn and Daniel Snarlov all barked out at once.
She was all the more shocked when the Chief’s normal no-nonsense glare was tempered with, sympathy? “Setting aside the fact that we in the ZPD are not a democracy, I need aquatic mammals for this one.” Judy’s puzzlement turned to concern when Lt. Higgins seemed to pale to an ahsen shade of grey. “Anderson, Fangmeyer, head out to the second and coordinate with river patrol. Wilde, cell watch. McHorn, Snarlov, report to traffic enforcement. Wolford, you and Hopps have civilian outreach. PR will tell you where.
Judy couldn’t begin to fathom why every officer except Wade Anderson and Nadine Fangmeyer seemed so relieved at not taking the RFD investigation. She’d have to pump Frank for info while they were out.
...
Frank proved unhelpful as he had only ever gone to the Rainforest District for the annual Jazz Festival along the festive Canal d'eau Rouge. She resigned herself to having to interrogate Nick and enduring his endless smugness at
yet again
educating the country bunny. They arrived at the Precinct House to find Wade and Nadine huddled on the floor in front of Clawhauser’s kiosk. They were surrounded by the entire force. Even Bogo stood nearby with a pained look on his muzzle.
“...then they let the snakes loose. The patrol boats from the Second barely stuck around long enough to pick us up.” Officer Fangmeyer finished what was apparently her and Anderson’s harrowing tale while her stepbrother rubbed her back.
Judy saw Nick at the outskirts of the crowd and headed over. “Alright Slick; I need to know what’s going on here. What’s in Bayou that’s so terrible as to stop our investigation?”
Nick gave a tired huff. “There’s no investigation; we,” he gestured collectively to the gathered officers, “already know what’s happening and who’s doing it.” He noted her expectant expression, and seemed about to start the expected tease when he slumped. “The Hopfield and McConey families; swamp rabbits. They pretty much own half the Bayou. Aside from Icthio-farms like ‘Bubba Hump’s’ and the Trinity College for Herpetology, they don’t really like outsiders. Doesn’t matter who you are, you’re unwelcome and they
will
let you know.”
She gawked for a second. “You’re telling me this precinct, First Precinct, ‘The best of the best of the best with honors, Sir!’” the last said with an exaggerated parade-ground tone that got everyone’s attention, “have been stymied by a bunch of Pentacostal Hillbilly Hares?”
Her outburst drew the attention of the entire precinct: Higgins and Snarlov looked shame-faced, while Anderson and Fangmeyer looked incensed. Bogo simply looked curious. “You believe you can do better, Officer Hopps?”
Nick could actually see Judy doubling-down on her claim when she turned to face the Chief. “If you’re willing to give me until Thursday sir, then yes I can.”
There was a hush in the atrium. “And if you can’t?” The Cape Buffalo crossed his arms.
Judy assumed a parade rest stance. “Then I will personally, and publically, apologize to every officer here present. Sir.”
...
Nick sat in the back of a canoe with Judy and a bag she refused to tell him about but insisted he carry. “If at any point someone demands I squeal like a pig, I’m doing my best impression of you.”
“Oh stop whining Nick.” Judy relished the opportunity to snark at her partner. “Besides, our escort’s here.” Nick looked around in confusion until he noticed several wakes in the water. A little closer inspection revealed them to be a dozen rabbit heads just above the water. Judy spoke up just as Nick started to panic. “I know you Pentacostal types practice eschatology, but unless you’re here to lead us to whomever I need to talk to, then this really will be the End of Days for you.” Her gaze never left the shore of the island they were approaching.
Amazingly to Nick, they were guided to a small boat dock where a crew silently helped them secure the canoe. Nick secured the package and they were led to mobile trailer office. An aged, notch-eared rabbit looked at them suspiciously. Judy returned the impassive look for a moment, then emptied the bag Nick had been hauling around onto the table; it was a glazed clay half gallon jug with a waxed cloth and wood stopper. “Sugar-beet Vodka, my grandfather’s recipe.”
Nick stared slack jawed as the ears of nearly every rabbit in the room perked up. The old buck considered the jug for a moment, then whistled sharply and waved with three fingers. A younger, stocky buck came up with three cups and three shot glasses in his paws, and a nondescript brown wine bottle with a ceramic stopper tucked under one arm. “Pecan Brandy; the ‘Angel’s Share’ as it were.”
Nick was familiar enough with ‘legally adjacent’ etiquette to know he couldn’t really refuse when a shot of Hopps’ offering and a measure of Brandy were poured for everyone. The Bunnyburrow rotgut burned like the judging fires of hell, while the brandy might as well have been liquid sin. He was startled out of his reverie when Judy spoke up. “Alright then, let’s talk about your kin trashing a couple of thousand dollars of film equipment.”
...
“You’re sure about this Hopps?” The Chief eyed his smallest officer sitting across from him.
She nodded. “I gave the security footage over to Cyber-crime to check that it hasn’t been doctored, but it looks like not only did the studios
not
contact the McConey Fish Hatchery for permission to film, they damaged one of the nursery nets while trespassing. Cleatus McConey quoted around $150,000 in damage and lost revenue. FBS’ $12,000 in lost equipment is a drop in the bucket compared to what they did in Margay Key.”
Bogo snorted. “Alright, once we verify Furner is in the wrong I’ll give this over to Oates and let him handle the studios. One more thing Hopps,” Judy stopped in her efforts to leave the office, “where is Nick?” He saw the panic cross her face for a moment. “This isn’t going to turn into another ‘Doof’ incident, is it?”
Her ears flagged and she chuckled weakly.
...
Two swamp bucks looked at the floor of the office trailer.
“Hey Jethro?”
“Yeah Ezekiel?”
“What should we do about him?”
Nick lay curled up on the floor of the office hugging two empty bottles. A two toned ‘hoot’ sound could be heard every time he exhaled.
“You heard the doe; she said to let ‘im sleep it off, so we let ‘im sleep it off. You might want to distract ol’ Jade ferrin she decides to ‘snuggle’ ‘im. I don’t rightly wanna find out what the country doe would do iffin we lost her fox.”
“Rekkon yer right Jethro.” The two rabbits set about distracting the Black King Snake that had been moving towards the sleeping todd.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
A fox and rabbit trudged across the snow-covered expanse, their breath frosting on the fur of their muzzles. A break in the unseasonal snow clouds allowed the waning moon to starkly illuminate their path.
The vulpine glanced sideways at his traveling companion who was helping him pull a small toboggan. “Seriously Carrots, why is the wood shed this far from the main house?”
Judy turned her head to look at her partner, though the parka hood didn’t turn with her. “You could always ask Pop-pop; it’s his grand-parents who built the farm.”
Nick snorted, then sneezed. “Thanks, but I’ll pass. He’s asleep, which means he’s not alternately hurling insults at me or regaling me with war stories about spreading his seed across the land like an evil plague. Speaking of, I know you’re the one who put Kerfluffle-Phtgan up to waking me this morning.”
Judy turned back to the path ahead. “And if I was, so what? The kits love you and wanted to be the first thing you saw this morning--”
“By staring at me from a dark corner whispering, ‘Gooble-Gobble, Gooble-Gobble, we will make you one of us!’; not the restful vacation you promised fluff. Mark my words rabbit, as you have sown, so shall you reap.”
The two stopped in front of the shed door just as the clouds closed in around the moon. Judy planted a stick in the snow to keep their wood trolley from sliding off as Nick opened the shed and ducked inside, standing back up right into a spiderweb. “BLLEEAARGHGH!”
Judy spun to face her partner just as he began frantically dancing about while flailing his arms at the offending arachnid secretions. She grinned and desperately wished she had her phone with her. “Wow Slick, I didn’t know you were a Master of Spider-Style Kung-Fu.” He shot her a stern look as he finally stopped thrashing and ducked below the webbing.
She stepped in and flipped the light switch for the lone, ancient incandescent bulb. Nick’s flailing had bumped the bulb causing it to swing lazily, illuminating both the neatly stacked cords of dried wood and the dozens of spider webs well above rabbit head height.
“You’re such a city-slicker.” She looked up at the shed’s residents. “They’re harmless unless you--” The swinging bulb bumped one of the webs causing it’s architect to suddenly descend, right onto Judy’s nose.
She looked cross-eyed at the spider for one second. “YYEEEAARRGGHH! Gedoffgedoffgedoffgedoff!” Her own Dance-of-the-Nope ended abruptly when the tip of Nick’s tail swiped the offending arthropod off of her muzzle. Looking over, Nick’s normally smug look was ruined by the cobwebs wrapped in his ears.
“I still say there’s no shame in quitting Fluff.”
Judy squared her shoulders. “With my brothers watching? Yes there is!” The two then silently set about loading the toboggan with firewood while eyeing the mass of arachnids above them.
Once fully laden, and with the shack closed up again, they began the trudge back to the cheerily lit farmhouse. “No doubt your family heard us in there. What’s our story?”
Judy’s eyes were locked on the path home. “Axe-wielding Jackalopes.” The partners discussed the tale they were going to spin as the moon broke through the clouds again. From between the pieces of wood, several tiny limbs wiggled before retreating deeper into the pile.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nick and Judy cautiously approached the darkened location of a reported altercation between multiple mammals. Judy was on point to take advantage of her twitch reflexes, tranquilizer at the ready. Nick trailed slightly after so he could use his superior night vision and still have a clear field of fire over his partner. Trunkaby and McHorn waited at the end of the alley to backstop the small duo.Judy’s ears twitched at the sound of something moving farther back in the alley. “ZPD, come out with your paws, hooves or trotters up.” her soprano voice cut through the shadows.One such shadow suddenly detached itself and surged forward. “Greetings offiththerssss...” One of Judy’s darts sprouted from the dark clad mammals shoulders even as Nick groaned. “The Doof, Kerfuffle-Fhtagn, and now him.” Judy looked askance at her partner as he holstered his sidearm and moved over to the fallen mammal. “Nick, you can’t just stroll up to him! He could be armed or--”“Oh I guarantee he’s armed fluff, but he’s not dangerous; not to us anyway.” He turned slightly towards the alley entrance. “Francine, Frank, can you call back to the station and see if any form 1021’s have been filed by Francis Jr.?”Judy started at Trunkaby’s decidedly rude trumpet. “Him? Seriously?”Both smaller officers were now standing over the fallen beast, who upon closer inspection appeared to be a relatively small white tail deer dressed rack to hoof in black naugahyde. The menacing mein was capped off with a black fedora and domino mask.“Who is he, some kind of vigilante?” Hopps eyed the stranger with skepticism.Nick was about to speak when McHorn’s voice boomed down the alley. “Wilde, Clawhauser says ole’ Frankie’s got an open case on file since Tuesday. Says it shouldn’t have crossed into the Savvy, but with this nutjob you never know.”“Right. He was deeper in the alley when he spooked Hopps into shooting him--” Francine and Frank both barked out a laugh, “--so I’m gonna check whatever he was into. Can you watch him with Hopps? I don’t want her hop-kicking him through a dumpster.” With that, the vulpine clipped a light onto his shoulder and headed deeper into the gloom.Judy’s foot drummed in frustration at the mystery at her feet until Frank ambled over as Francine called their status in. “Who is this guy Frank? Everyone’s acting like it’s ‘the Doof’ all over again.”The rhino snorted. “Not exactly. Check his belt on the left side.”Judy searched the small collection of pouches on the deer’s left side finding an odd assortment of tools and supplies she would expect for a forensic technician, or a comic book hero. She also found a single gold shield similar to her own badge. “He’s a cop?!”“Not quite madame.” She started as the deer leverd himself into a sitting position. “I am the scourge in the shadows, I will shed the light of truth and justice in the darkened corners of the city; I am, the Night Hunter!” So saying, he handed Hopps a card from one of the pouches on his right side.She stared uncomprehending for a moment as she read, then reread the card. “Francis Thurston Deering II, The Night HunterPI, CID License# 2125 www.NH-PI.net ” She looked up at the preposterous mammal in front of her. “You’re a bounty hunter?!”Francis snorted. “Officer, I assure you I am much more than some bail-chasing glory seeker.”“Then what’s with the costume?” She crossed her arms and thumped her foot.“Mammals can dress however they want Fluff.” Nick strolled back to his partner. “Alright Night Hunter, I count three toughs from the Third Street Hooligans hogtied back there. What’s got you picking fights with a pack of dingoes?”The deer retrieved his shield from Hopps. “My client is the mother of one of their most recent ‘recruits’. I’ve been retained to wrangle the wayward pup and suggest the gang turn elsewhere for recruiting. I can hardly be faulted if they decide to try and roll me in an alleyway. And before you ask, those three are not Unlawfully Restrained. Each one is holding the lead for the slipknot securing the next. They can free themselves any time they want, providing they work together. Isn’t that right, Red Rocket?” The PI had a particularly smug look on his face as he glanced at the back of the alley.Nick bristled as McHorn began massaging his temples. “Right. Well, call in any further changes in your locality next time. Francine, we’re done here; call it in.”“Certainly officers. Have a safe evening.” The cervid spun dramatically and headed back into the alley’s depths.Judy boggled back and forth at the various mammals. While she personally disapproved of his methods, Judy couldn’t find legal fault with The Night Hunter’s logic, so she followed Nick out. “You’re explaining all of this to me Slick,” she smirked, “ or should I call you Red--”“Only if you want me to taze you in the scut.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nick stared at the box with abject terror, though he dared not show it. It seemed such a harmless thing, like a brass gilded Roobix Cube. He knew better though. He'd seen it three times before. Every time he’d resisted the urge to solve it, but that first time was the hardest, and the worst.He had just turned 16, and on the streets that meant liquor, drugs and tail. Some dingo had brought the box with them, then pawed it off saying "A birthday isn't a birthday without a present." In hindsight, he now knew what they were really doing; trying to get the cursed box to latch onto someone else. They’d succeeded; he was pretty sure that had been the dingo who washed up in the Canals later that week. He idly wondered if that had worked, or if the poor bastard's soul was now wherever this thing led.He'd been too distracted by basser pleasures that night, so the box remained unsolved. Time and again over the next week he would begin to think about the puzzle box, only to be distracted by something or another. However, by week's end, he was determined to solve the box. Just as he sat down he was paid a visit. The vixen from his birthday sauntered in with promises of every worldly pleasure. He didn't hesitate. When he woke the next morning, both she and the puzzle box were gone.At the time he didn't know why, but he was determined to track her and the box down. In his darker introspective moments he could admit that had he found her in time, he would have killed her on the spot. He didn't arrive in time. Whether it was by minutes, hours or even days she was long dead when he got there. All that was left was the abattoir stench, a few tufts of scarlet fur, and a pristine brass gilded wooden box.Nick ran. He didn't know how long or how far, but he found himself in Tundratown. He was rescued from a frozen death by a kindly old shrew. Mama Big was the name she gave and insisted on, and so he became a part of her 'famiglia'. Life was good for a time, and Nick put the nightmare of the puzzle box out of mind until it found him again.He had been sent to a Bazaar in the Canyonlands, shopping for supplies and information. He had found a skunk-butt rug he intended to give to Finnick as a gag when he saw it on the table of a ragged eared jackrabbit. In a panic, he rushed over. "What is your pleasure sir?" There was an unnatural scent about the mammal."Where did you get that?!" Nick frantically gestured to the box.The scarred creature gave a rictus grin and slid it over. "Take it, it is yours." Nick snatched the little wooden cube and turned to rush away as the hare spoke again. "It always was."Nick jerked his head around, but the hare and his table were gone; the only evidence they had existed at all resting in the palm of his paw.He rushed back to the Big estate, fully intent on dumping the wretched thing in Mr. Big's icing hole when Mama confronted him at the door. "Nicholas dear, how are you today?""Well! Great! Couldn't be better!" Nick barked out. "Just got back from the Bazaar!""Oh, how exciting! Did you bring back anything for me?" Nick froze stock still as the family matron shakily reached for the box. In desperation, he thrust the gag gift into her paws; anything to keep the damned box out of her paws. "Here! I found this, lovely, paw crafted rug!" Mama's bear-er Sergei looked ready to kill even as Mama cooed over the mammal-fur rug. Everyone in the household was livid at the implied insult, but Mama insisted that it was the most wonderful thing she had been given in ages. Nick was now on the outs with Mr. Big, and was certain the only way he'd get access to the Icing Hole was when he was thrown into it.As fate would have it, Mama passed away later that month, and Nick knew he needed to leave before he joined her. As he was packing up, Sergei paid him a visit. He threw Nick, bag and all into a sedan and took him to one of Mr. Big's less reputable properties. "Little pelt thinks it is funny, to be giving Mama Big such a gift? Sergei does not." He dumped Nick onto the floor of the warehouse, where the puzzle box clattered to the ground between them. The bear bent down and retrieved the novelty. "Sergei remembers this. You give Mama that disgusting rug and keep this?" He raised the box to eye level.Nick blurted out. "Take it! It's yours if you want!" The bear sneered. "Sergei will." Whatever threats he was going to issue were halted when he absently pressed on one of the boxes faces, and a strange chiming tune began coming out. "Sergei thinks if he is entertained by little box, he will make pelt's death quick." He began working the box in earnest, to the exclusion of all else.Nick took the bear's distraction and scurried out as fast as he could. But the longer Sergei worked the box, the louder the tune became and the more it seemed it wasn't coming from the box. Nick's own curiosity nearly won out before he reached the door, but he managed to slip through and shut it behind him. The alien tune was dulled now and he could concentrate better, until the moment the music stopped and the screaming began. Nick didn't stop running until he was tackled by Finnick somewhere in Savannah Central.It would be some years before he saw the box again, this time in the paws of a homeless badger everyone called 'Honey'. She had always been kind, if abrasive and fixated on her conviction of the ever present 'Cudspiracy'. That day, Nick was not drawn to the sound of ranting, but of dissonant alien chimes. He saw her hunched over in the depths of the alley, whispering about finally knowing the truth. He rushed forward and snatched the box from her paws and ran. It took half an hour to lose the distraught and raging badger, but better she be lost in the depths of Happytown than succumb to whatever was in the box. He collapsed in an exhausted heap near the old Banyan St. station, the strange chiming tune never ceasing. He assumed he was crazy, as the few mammals who passed him didn't act as if they heard anything until a dapper elk stopped and looked down at him. "You have something for me?"Nick looked up. He knew the mammal in front of him; he knew everybody, and Thurston Hornady Sr. was the closest Nick had ever come to knowing a monster. He was a predator in the truest, if not literal sense; many were the working girls who disappeared into the back of his sedan, never to be heard from again.Nick held up the box. "Here, take it. It's yours if you want it." The elk snatched the box from his paws and walked away gazing longingly at the prize in his hooves. A memory rose unbidden and escaped his lips. "It always was." Nick bolted from the street as fast as he could, and that had been the last time he had seen it.Until today. Now, Nick and Judy stood in the sitting room of Thurston Hornady Jr. while forensic techs poured over the remains of the only son of T. Hornady Sr., and heir to the Hornady financial empire. Nick felt abject terror, though he dared not show it, for there in the center of the room was the puzzle box in all its banal glory. And if there was one thing he knew with absolute assurity, it was that Judy Hopps would never leave a puzzle unsolved.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nick fidgeted nervously in his seat in the Bullpen; for all he teased Judy about her need to loosen up once in a while, he never expected her to
actually
come in late. Officer McHorn was also conspicuously absent, but that was Trunkaby’s problem, not his. He heard the door swing open and turned, but only saw Francine come through playing that Pokemam Mobile game on her phone that was all the rage five years ago. He was about to pull out his own phone and text Judy when Lieutenant Higgins marched in and called the room to attention.
Chief Bogo came in a moment later to the usual fanfare. “Alright, settle down.” The buffalo's eyes tracked to Judy’s normal place. Nick saw an odd mix of apprehension and determination in the Chief’s gaze, like someone about to do an Open Mic night and just
knew
someone would heckle them.
“As some of you will have undoubtedly noticed, Officer Hopps is not with us at the moment. This is because she has volunteered to assist in the prototyping of a new piece of kit the city has,” Bogo hesitated before bulling through, “
mandated
we should field, in order to ensure effective partnering between Megafauna officers and the new cadre of small mammals passing through the ZPA. Officer McHorn?”
Nick let out a strangled squeak and could only look on in shock as Officer McHorn strode into the Bullpen... with Officer Hopps perched in a tactical pocket of his Riot Vest. The rhino turned and faced the assembly and stood at parade rest; a stance that Hopps mimicked like some absurd action figurine.
The Chief panned his eyes over the room. “This is the new Small Officer Field Transport Carrier.” Bogo’s eyes locked onto Nick’s, and the buffalo's head tipped down ever so slightly; a clear challenge to Nick.
Thanks in no small part to Officer Hopps, Nick was no longer afraid to take up a challenge.
“
Please
tell me that name was chosen by a committee and you had no say in it?” Nick noticed Judy’s ears flag slightly in confusion while the Chief’s shoulders sagged in frustration. Nick glanced at the other officers as they looked at him in various flavors of confusion. “Oh come on! Taking a mammal from a species normally maligned for being inoffensive, then forcing her to ride around in something called a SOFT Carrier?” He noticed as nearly all the other officers’ ears flagged, though oddly both Frank and Francine looked...tense.
He refocused on the Chief. “You know the social media circus will have a field day with the ZPD’s new ‘Pocket Serve-&-Protectors’.”
Nick felt himself lifted up by his collar as Francine stood from her chair. “Not ‘Pocket Protectors’, Nick; ‘Pocket Mammals’! Snark-Lax, Go!”
He was promptly deposited on the table. His confusion was mirrored by Judy as Frank grinned maddly and planted her on the table in front of him. “Bun-Cop, I choose you!”
Round one: Fight!
Bun-Cop and Snark-Lax are confused
“Uh, Nick? What the hay is going on?”
Nick’s eyes flicked between Frank and Francine. “Apparently our co-workers have gone slightly mad. Probably best if we play along until the Chief shakes off his fugue.”
“Um, okay?” Judy’s eyes went wide as her ears flopped down.
Bun-Cop uses ‘Bunny Eyes’
Nick leveled a deadpan look at his friend and partner and stuck his hands in his pocket.
Snark-Lax blocks with ‘Middle-aged Cynicism’; ‘Bunny Eyes’ is not very effective
“Seriously Hopps? Gonna try to wear me down with those cute little bunny eyes?”
Snark-Lax uses ‘The C-Word’
Judy’s ears popped up with a crack! “What did you just call me?!”
Bun-Cop becomes enraged
“Uhhh...” Nick’s own ears pinned to his skull as he saw all the officers in the room sidle into the shadow of larger officers. “I didn’t call
you
, I mean,” He pulled his hands from his pockets and put them up as a feeble ward.
Snark-Lax begins to regret life choices
Judy’s teeth chirred as her pupils contracted to pinpoints. “I’ll
show
you cute you little...grrAAHH!”
Bun-Cop uses ‘Police Brutality’; it’s super effective!
The sight of his two smallest officers scrapping on a table during the morning brief finally snapped Bofo out of the paralysis caused by his two
largest
officers playing out a children’s game in front of him. “Alright,
enough!”
every officer froze in place.
Boss-Mam used ‘Done-with-your-$#!7!’; it’s super effective! Boss-Mam wins!
Once everyone was back in their seats--even the two disheveled smalls--he huffed a sigh and took off his glasses. “To answer your earlier question Officer Wilde; no, I was not privy to the committee that came up with this idea
or
it’s name. And until we start getting the social-media backlash you so succinctly predicted, they will continue to rely on their focus groups.
“Until then, we still have work. Hopps and McHorn, Wilde and Trunkaby: you’ll be on the Hoof-beat here in City Central for,” Bogo grit his teeth, “public visibility.”
Francine’s ears flapped slightly. “So do I head down to George and get one of these SOFT things or...” She trailed off at the Chief’s almost pained look.
“There was an issue with procurement, so Officer McHorn has our only Carrier until Thursday. You’ll just need to improvise.”
...
The family of Gemsbok stared slack jawed at Frank McHorn and Francine Trunkaby. He wrote a citation to the husband about a now long forgotten verbal altercation with an equally gobsmacked hyena pack, while Judy lectured them both about public decorum from her SOFT Carrier. The small herd/pack of children were looking back and forth between the two megafauna, with particular attention given to the utterly despondent fox stuffed in between Francine’s blouse and her Anti-Goring vest.
He shifted slightly to keep from sinking beneath her lapels. “You have a calf. Couldn’t you have broken out the calf-carrier for this?”
Francine gave a rumbling chuckle that made Nick feel like he was driving over Rumble-Strips. “My youngest was twice as tall and three times as heavy as you, Officer. You’d disappear in a calf-carrier, and do you really want that?”
Nick was about to reply when a particularly winsome Hyena girl looked between him and the “Foxy-Loxy” Walla-Beannie in her paw, before stuffing it down her own shirt, looking back with a beaming smile on her muzzle.
“Yes. Absolutely. One-hundred percent.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nick first noticed the oddities around Judy’s 8-year anniversary on the force; a lingering smell of sulfur and Myrrh, an oddly shifting shadow that seemed to follow her around, or the sound of something dragging.
He’d normally have chalked it up to stress. Judy had been on an absolute tear the last year, as if she were trying to right all the world’s wrongs in one go. He’d have happily ignored it and self medicated, except he was absolutely positive Judy was smelling, seeing and hearing the same things he was.
But where he felt a growing sense of dread and an almost overwhelming urge to hide from... whatever, Judy seemed to just be driven harder. She was burning herself out, and Nick was becoming worried.
That worry came to a head when Judy did the unthinkable, the one thing she’d never done during their entire career together: she took leave without being told to by Bogo.
“Hey Fluff!” Nick fought down the urge to snarl at the smell coming from the shadowed corners of their shared cubicle, even as he saw her tail flash in alarm and her ears track to the same unnaturally deep shadow. “I just found out you were sticking me with Landry as a partner for next weekend; I thought we were friends?” His smarm was rewarded with an almost heartbroken look on Judy’s face.
The melancholy was gamely fought down and replaced with her own trademark ‘banter’ grin. “Serves you right for swiping all the blueberries from my dessert the other day.” She turned back to her computer and began typing. “But it’s for a good cause; I’m moving out of my old place and I need the time to get my... to get everything in order.”
Nick watched her posture with a seasoned eye; there was some truth in her words, but her tension showed it wasn’t the whole truth.
“You want some help?” he offered while absently studying the shifting shadow that his partner’s ears were tracking. “Pretty sure I can get Bogo to banish me for the weekend if I get another sing-along going.”
Her ears and tail flicked in a mixture of mirth and, oddly enough, regret. “He’s likely to banish you to the Traffic Enforcement Division if you get the Fangmeyers going on another rendition of ‘Long eared Country Bun’.” She turned to face him with a warm smile. “Thanks, but this is something I need to do on my own.”
Nick wasn’t deterred, and decided that he would at least help her with her furniture in his own way. He went onto ‘Dregs List’ and started to shop for a new (to Judy) living room set. He was pursuing love seats when he came across a listing for a small single bed frame and mattress, desk and chair. The photo that accompanied the listing was of Judy’s North-End Efficiency apartment, with the listed pickup date as the day before she was supposed to go on leave.
He made a quick call to the Hopps farm.
<
Nicholas! How are you and Judy doing?>
Bonnie Hopps could be heard beaming through the speaker.
“We’re doing good right now Missus Hopps.” Though technically true, Nick felt the bile rise slightly at the misdirection.
<Ah-ah-ah! What have I told you? It’s Bonnie.>
“I’ve no desire to incur Mamma Wilde’s or Grandmamma Big’s wrath from
on high
, so you’ll just have to endure my respectful courtesy.”
The matronly doe gave an indulgent huff. <
If I must. So what prompted the call? Judy’s all but been blowing up the phone this last week wanting to talk to everyone.>
Nick almost felt his stomach drop. He’d lost enough friends, some on the streets, and a couple on the force, to recognize when someone was getting their affairs in order and saying their goodbyes. If it hadn’t been for the odd sensations he knew she was experiencing, he would have been certain she was going to commit suicide. It still felt too close to that for comfort.
“I think she’s just feeling more homesick than usual. I was hoping you might have some advice on something special I could do at my end to brighten her day up.”
Bonnie hummed in thought. <Nothing comes especially to, ooh!> Nick perked up in hope. <It’s nearly the 10th anniversary of her graduation from Podunk Community College. Maybe you could take her back to her Alma Mater.>
Nick smiled at the idea. “I might just do that. Thanks Missus-” he chuckled at the
ahem
on the other end of the line, “
Bonnie.
”
With a clue in paw, Nick spent every spare moment over the next week researching. It was a long shot, but Podunk was the only clue he had at the moment. One thing he ran across was a local legend about the road connecting the towns of Charity and Podunk; specifically about where they intersected with Deerbrook County Road 66.
The first recorded incident was from 150 years ago when the mule deer Land-Baron Jedediah Hart founded the township of Podunk after ‘surveying the Crossroads’. He netted a number of unusual and unlikely boons over the next 10 years before he was found beheaded in his palatial plantation house. Every door was locked, and there were no signs anyone had entered or left. Neither his head, or the town’s fortunes, were ever recovered.
In the centuries since, there were a number of individuals who were either unknown or in dire straits before making a pilgrimage to the insignificant farming town. Such notables as Opera Virtuoso Pigannini and Zootopia’s former mayor Madeline Swinton from 40 years ago all paid a visit to the unassuming locale before receiving lauds and honors for 10 years. In every case, the individual either mysteriously disappeared or died gruesomely.
Nick wasn’t necessarily a religious or superstitious mammal, but he’d learned long ago that ignoring legends was a good way to get your tail bit off.
Every other moment not spent in research, was spent with his friend. He could tell she was torn between wanting to push him away, and the desperate need to not be alone. He made it as unfair a battle as he could by indulging in her every whim and postponed city experience. By the end of the week, it felt as if they had lived an entire life in a few short days.
Early Saturday morning, Nick was woken up by the oppressive sense of something malevolent in his apartment. He had curled up around Judy on the couch after binge watching ‘Animalian Pickers’. She was still shivering in his arms.
“You can’t take her!” he hissed through bared fangs. “You’ll have to go through me, and you
can’t
do that; can you?”
“
Clever boy.
” A sibilant whisper came from every corner and shadow at once. Even his natural night vision couldn’t penetrate the penumbral darkness, though he caught glimpses of something; a deer’s graceful leg and hoof, a luxurious fox tail, the flutter of pigeon wings, and something writhing like his worst fever dreams.
“You’re right of course; I can only take a soul willingly given, either by act or pact.”
A creature stepped elegantly out of the shadows and sat in the chair across from him. It was terrifyingly beautiful; a perfect amalgamation of every sensual feature of every species, joined together into one unnatural whole.
“You were very nearly mine, if it weren’t for your happy accident with the rug.”
Nick remembered that day he had concocted that foolish plan. He remembered how it seemed like the right choice at the time, and only in hindsight was he able to admit that it actually was. It had been so unlike him, and it saved him from becoming a Made Mammal who would have been irredeemable in Judy’s eyes.
“Sorry to disappoint.”
It shrugged. “
Oh well; collecting a tainted soul isn’t nearly as satisfying as a pure one given willingly. Hers was sold for a chance; just the chance to prove she could be a police officer and, ‘make the world a better place’.”
It leered at Judy.
“You know full well what I mean when I say, a deal is a deal; and the Devil always gets their due.”
Nick thought back ten years ago, and remembered the upset vote that passed Lionheart’s MII against all odds and political common sense. Judy’s deal hadn’t just been a chance for herself; it had paved the way for city-wide reforms that made life better for so many mammals.
“How about another deal-”
It raised a delicate five digit claw tipped paw. “I am constrained by pact and word older than this world to inform you; once a deal is struck, it cannot be undone. The selling of one’s soul, taints it beyond forgiveness.” It leaned forward and leered at Nick through a perfect bone ridge resembling teeth and fangs. “You are of course welcome to make a deal, but all it will do is add to my tally of souls, not spare hers.”
Nick felt a shiver run through his fur, and a crazy thought entered into his mind. A part of him rebelled at the idea, but in a moment of introspection it was the same kind of crazy idea that this, this
Demon
had admitted spared his soul.
“How long?” It quirked a perfect eyebrow at the question. “How long until her debt is due?”
It sneered and stood up. “
Before the Blood-Moon sets tomorrow night. Then I will come for her. You are welcome to try and stop me, but I have enough willing acolytes in this wretched city and beyond who will gladly bloody their paws for a single favor, or just a stay of my scythe for a short while. One way or another,”
it extended it’s paw as it stretched impossibly to brush one of Judy’s ears, “
I will have her soul.
”
Nick curled protectively around Judy as she shrieked and flinched in her sleep. When Nick looked around, the apparition was gone. All that was left was the faint musky sulfurous stench, and the absolute conviction of what he needed to do.
...
Dawn broke over Zootopia and Nick roused his drowsy friend with a fresh breakfast. “Morning Judy.”
She blinked myopically at the smiling todd. “Morning Nick.” She yawned and stretched. “Thanks for hosting me, now that I’m moved out of my old place.”
“Yup. On to a better place, right?” He saw her wilt at the comment. “Tell you what; I already called in to the Precinct saying I was coming down with something.” He gave a faux wicked grin. “Clawhauser promised to make it something good so Bogo wouldn’t question it. What do you say? You and me, together to the end! We’ll make a day of it.”
“Nick, you really shouldn’t. Besides, I have... somewhere to be.” Judy looked forlornly at the table.
“I know, heading down to Podunk.” Judy’s head snapped up in alarm. “Your mom mentioned it’s the 10 year anniversary of your graduation.” He heard her sigh in mixed regret and relief. “How about I give you a ride to your old hopping grounds, and you show me the sights? You
did
make an awful big deal about the difference between Podunk and Bunnyburrow.”
He turned around with a plate of sweet-potato hash browns, and saw the same mixture of regret and relief he was becoming used to.
She relented with a sigh. “And by ‘give me a ride’, you mean ‘lounge in my passenger seat and snark the whole way?” They grinned at each other. “Alright, but I do have something to take care of tonight; so when I say we’re done, we’re done. Got it?”
Nick smiled and held up a paw in a two digit salute. “Got it, Scouts honor.”
Once breakfast was finished, they went to the lot where Judy had parked her Jalloppy of a truck, and set off on the 300 mile road trip. Nick kept Judy distracted with endless banter, inane jokes, and the occasional observation of the simple beauty of the rural counties. It was mid afternoon when they arrived in Podunk. It was a modestly sized town of mostly white tail and roe deer, though there were a few cougars and wolves scattered throughout.
They toured around, visiting the various hangouts as well as the Community College campus, which was closed between semesters. The day wound down as the weather started to turn. Nick and Judy decided on dinner at the Johnson Roadhouse on the outskirts of town. They were into their second beer while listening to a local Blues Band perform when Judy stood up. “Gimme a minute Nick; little does have little bladders.”
“TMI Fluff, but you take care of what you need to do.” He waved towards her absently while watching the band, as well as a particularly tipsy raccoon try and sing along.
He waited until she was out of sight, then dropped all the money left in his wallet on the table and left. He waited in the shadows for a minute before he saw a rabbit doe sneak around the side of the building and get into Judy’s truck. He also spotted the drunken raccoon stumbling out of the establishment and headed towards a parked pickup truck.
He caught up to and caught the stumbling mammal. “Hey buddy, you don’t look so good.”
“I’mb vine. Just godda... godda...”
“You just gotta lay down is what you need to do. Tell you what,” he pawed the mammals truck keys, “how about I give you a ride, and you can sleep on the way. That sound good to you?”
The raccoon swayed and smiled. “Hey, thas right negbored, kneeboard, thas mighty kind-a you.”
Nick had the mammal sleeping in the passenger’s seat in short order and was speeding down Route 66.
He arrived at the Crossroads just as Judy pulled off onto the shoulder. She turned to look at the truck that parked behind her, though the roiling storm clouds covered the full moon and the headlights ruined her night vision. She squinted as the lights and engine were turned off, only to squawk in alarm as a break in the clouds illuminated a swaggering fox.
“Nick!” She hissed fiercely while looking around. “You can’t be here!”
“Yes I can,” he stated with an obnoxious pedantic aire. “This is a public way. As long as I’m not impeding traffic, I have every right to be here; just like you,” he looked at the deepening darkness of the crossroads propper, “and just like you. Hello again.”
Judy spun to face her tormentor and her shame. The Demon was more definitively feminine this time, looking like a perfect blend of deer, hare and fox.
“Well hello to you too Nicholas. Come to see your
dear friend
off on her journey?”
Beneath the snide tone was an undercurrent of rage.
“You should cherish this gift, little Judith; where you’re going, happy memories are the only joy you will have for as long as you can cling to them.”
Nick draped an arm over Judy’s shoulders. “Actually, I’m here to offer
you
a gift: a two-for-one deal.”
Judy tried to pull away. “No Nick! You can’t!” Tears poured down her face as she looked at her friend. Her protests were halted at the warm smile on his muzzle.
“Your terms?”
There was now only pure avarice in the demon’s voice as shadows writhed behind it.
Nick locked eyes with the ageless entity, a smug grin plastered on his muzzle. “My soul, right here, right now.”
It hungrily licked its lips.
“Your price?”
Nick tightened his hold on Judy, who desperately returned the gesture. “Where she goes, I go.” He looked at the crying doe at his side again. “Like I said; you and me, together till the end.”
Judy hiccuped and nodded, then wrapped his waist in a bone creaking hug and wept.
A soundless flash of lightning touched down in the center of the crossroads.
“The deal is struck and accepted.”
Once they could see again, Nick and Judy saw a shadowed path leading into the deepening night, while ominous thunder rumbled in the distance.
“I hope you are prepared for what awaits you both.”
Judy took a ragged breath and stepped beside Nick while keeping a paw in one of his. “I was so scared that I was going to go alone. How can I say ‘thank you’ for this? You’re going to Hell because of me, and I’m
grateful
.”
Nick chuffed a laugh and squeezed her paw. “I’ve been in hell, and
that,
” he jerked his muzzle towards the ominous road to perdition, “isn’t it.” He looked at her until she looked up. “Hell was years spent alone on the streets living paw-to-maw. Hell was being alone in a city of 13 million. The day I met you, was the day I left Hell behind.” He looked at the shadowed path winding into the darkness. “Whatever that is, as long as you’re with me it couldn’t possibly be Hell.”
For the first time in a month, Judy positively beamed at Nick. “Alright Partner; whatever that is, wherever it leads, we’ll face it together.” They stepped fearlessly onto the shadowed path.
In that instant, the demon truly saw that the two mismatched mammals were carrying a glimmer of hope into the one place where it could not,
should
not ever exist.
“
NO!
”
It bellowed in rage, just as a flash of light and blaring horn distracted it. When it regained it’s focus, the shadowed path was closed, taking Nick and Judy with it. The Demon abandoned all pretense at mammaldom and spilled out onto the crossroads, intent on avenging itself on whatever was nearby. It was brought up short by the form of a raccoon, backlit by the truck’s headlights.
“You!”
“Me.” The diminutive procyon sauntered casually towards the nightmarish abomination of the Crossroads. “I had worried about that boy, but he turned out quite nicely. Wouldn’t you agree?”
It’s only response was an inarticulate roar, though the monstrous mass flinched away from the racoon’s approach. It finally shrank back into it’s more androgenous form.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”
“Introduced the light of
hope
to your little dark pit. Won’t
that
be a sight.” The small mammal turned a guileless smile towards the demon. “And to think, I could have never done it, if it weren’t for you.” All signs of mirth and mercy vanished from his smile, replaced by unfathomable contempt while lightning flashed around them. The night was tinged with angry green light and the growing roar of the wind. “You might want to find shelter. Feels like a storm’s coming.”
The demon gave one last impotent shriek before vanishing into the shadows. The raccoon gave a snort before a tornado touched down, erasing every trace of the crossroads.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The ZPD had received a tip from the Federal Law Enforcement Agency about an international arms dealer coming into their city. For once, the information wasn’t sparing, as they were given photographs, profiles, audio files, even a scrap of cloth in a hermetically sealed case with his scent. The only thing they hadn’t been given was his name. All anyone had on that front was his self-styled
nom-de-guerre
:
Le Chasseur
, the Hunter.
Or, as Officer Nicholas Wilde had taken to calling him...
“Chase better not be a no-show tonight.”
It was the third night of staking out the high-end restaurant, and Nick absently sipped his ‘Scotch-and-water, with extra water’ while sitting at the bar. He let his eyes roam the reflection of the patrons in the restaurant.
His partner, Judy Hopps, grunted noncommittally as she alternated between gnawing on a seed covered artisanal breadstick, and shifting uncomfortably in her stool next to him.
Nick spared her a glance and a grin. “Careful there,
darlin
,” he emphasized the endearment, trying to sell their cover as a couple out for a fancy date night. “You’re gonna ruin your dress, and I’m pretty sure it's worth more than either of us make in a month.”
“I don’t see how,” she ground out while fighting with the bodice of her ‘Little Black Dress’. “I have bathing suits that are more substantial than this
rape-bait
rag! How can something this minimalistic be so restrictive?”
“It’s a
Vera Fang,
not a rag.” Nick returned his attention to the mirror behind the bar. “That dress was all the rage ten years ago.
This
,” he gestured to his own suit, “is a
rag.
Only the finest Labrador Day, Two-for-One Coat-Rack special for this fox.” He picked up one of the breadsticks and bit it in two. “If my dad saw me wearing this, he’d disown me on the spot.”
-Knock it off you two-
Chief Bogo’s voice came over both of their Blu-Fang ear-pieces.
-You are supposed to be on a date, not bickering in your patrol car!-
Nick gamely fought back the urge to roll his eyes, while Judy dug her phone out of her clutch. “Hold on a second
sweety,”
she put enough saccharin in her tone to ruin a pot of black coffee, “the office gossip-monger is calling for an update.” She tapped the screen for effect, while hiding it from mammal eyes. “Yes Bea, what do you want?”
-
Hopps, what do you think you are
--
-
“Hey,
you
were the one who
insisted
we go on this date. We’re on the date, so stop bugging us or nothing will happen. Bye!” They both ignored Bogo’s indignant sputtering as Judy put her phone away. “I swear, they’re worse than the
Rents
about interrupting.” She pointedly ignored Bogo’s continuing rant through her earpiece.
Nick huffed and playfully flicked one of her ears, earning him a light toe kick. “They probably have a
spy
here to make sure we’re being schmaltzy enough.”
Judy looked up at the mirror at Nick’s code word. Sure enough, their target had just walked into the restaurant. She flopped one of her ears to let Nick know she’d seen him. “Well, that would be easier if you were more of a romantic, Slick.”
“Hey now,” Nick turned to face her fully, while keeping the wolf in his peripheral vision, “I’ll have you know I’m the very
soul
of romance.”
Now Judy turned to face Nick. “Oh really? Prove it, Zor-Romeo.”
They both caught a glimpse of
Le Chasseur
glancing their way. They had both discussed the wolf’s profile, and had come to the same conclusion very early on: both the ZPD and FLEA were going about getting close to him all wrong. A flick of an ear and a twitch of the tail was all they needed between the two of them to say,
Just a little bit more.
Nick leaned forward. “You asked for it darlin. First you start with a
smokey
look.”
Almost as soon as he started to
gaze
at her, Judy started to giggle. “Oh my
God
, stop that!”
Nick sat up straight and pouted. “What?”
“You don’t look smokey, you looked like you’ve smoked something. The last time I saw somebody look like that, my nephew Edwin had gotten into Aunt Starlite’s ‘Space Brownies’.”
Nick arched an eyebrow and leaned back, watching the wolf out of the corner of his eye. “I suppose you can do better?”
Judy’s ears came up as she leaned forward. “Well, rabbits are good at multiplying, so I think we have a handle on romance. You just,” she drew in a breath, puffing her chest out, “look deeply into your partner’s eyes...”
As she leaned farther forward, Nick started to lean farther back. “Yeeaahh, you can stop that now.”
“Ha!” Judy beamed while sitting up. “Admitting defeat?”
“No, I just thought you were going to burst a blood vessel there for a moment.”
Her cheeks puffed out as she tried to tap her foot in annoyance until...
“
Excuse-moi
, but I couldn’t help but overhear your predicament.”
The fox and rabbit looked over as if just realising the wolf had approached them. “What?”
Le Chasseur’s
ears perked up at the near synchronous question. “You two seem so perfect for each other.” He flashed a winning, if fang-filled smile at the two.
Judy slumped her shoulders and hung her head. “Oh, not you too. Even complete strangers think it!”
The wolf looked at Nick, who gave a pained smile. “One of our coworkers once saw us looking at each other for more than two seconds, and decided we ‘must be in love’! Like we were characters in one of his rom-coms,” he huffed a laugh. “It’s been a continuous struggle to be taken seriously ever since.”
“And were you? Looking at each other for more than two seconds? It
is
the rule,
non
?” The wolf waggled his eyebrows conspiratorially.
“Absolutely!” The fox and rabbit said simultaneously, as Judy thumped her fist on her thigh. “First one to blink, pays for the meal!” Her head then snapped around, as she and Nick locked eyes with one another.
The staring contest was interrupted as the wolf began laughing and settled into a seat next to them. “
Mon dieu
! You are a pair.” He extended a paw to the two smaller mammals. “My friends call me
Le Chasseur
. And you are?”
...
Bogo stared dumbfounded, alongside the FLEA agents sent to collect their evidence: paw prints from both Nick’s and Judy’s phones, multiple very candid selfies of the officers and
Le Chasseur
, even a phone contact number for, ‘the next time I am in Zootopia’. Though the
pièces de résistance
was a name.
“And you’re sure he said ‘Kaban’?” the snow white vixen looked up from the table of evidence.
“
Monsieur
Kaban, but yes,” Judy remained at almost parade ground attention. “The boar did
not
seem happy about our mutual friend introducing us, so that’s when we took our leave.”
The black striped hare with the vixen frowned slightly. “And you didn’t even try to stick around to secure more evidence, even though you
obviously
recognized the importance of that meeting?”
Nick huffed slightly from his partner’s side. “In the immortal words of Kenny Roargers, ‘you gotta know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em’. Chase might be a gun-runner, but the Russian was a killer. It was time to run, so we did.”
The vixen laid a paw on her partner’s shoulder, then looked at the other pair. “You are quite right, of course. You were already serving above and beyond by going undercover like that. Though I am surprised,” her ears perked as she glanced between the pair, “why did you change the plan? Our psych profile on
Le Chasseur
is very complete, including his obsession with romance.”
Nick held up a digit and grinned at the other mammals. “Relationships, Agent Frost, not romance.”
Judy relaxed her shoulders and took on an almost pedantic aire. “We both reviewed the files, and in our opinion as the on site officers, determined that there was a basic flaw in the psych profile: the assumption that it was romance which was a driver for his behavior.”
“I’ve been surviving for decades by judging mammals,” Nick smiled indulgently, “and someone doesn’t go into a violent trade like arms dealing if you have any
romantic
notions. Salesmamship
does
require a certain understanding of mammal relations; interpersonal in particular, since that’s how you find the pressure points to make your sale.”
“Yes,
we
know that,” the hare gestured between himself and the vixen. “It takes a nuanced reading of the profile, but it’s still there in black and white. What we want to know is why you deviated from the plan?”
Judy and Nick looked slightly crestfallen at not having ‘discovered’ a flaw in the profile. Still, they did owe their superiors, so Judy squared her shoulders and nodded. “We knew we couldn’t sell a romantic relationship to our target, so we just doubled down on the relationship we
do
have.”
“That’s what we were trying to take advantage of,” the hare gestured to the two officers, “your natural chemistry, your clear compassion towards one another, dare I say your charm even.”
Nick and Judy looked at one another, then back at the assembled mammals. “Well, yeah; we’re
friends
,” Judy pointed between herself and Nick. “Friends are like that.”
Bogo and the two FLEA agents blinked at the two small officers. “You mean, you aren’t dating?”
Judy’s eyes bugged out slightly as Nick rolled his head back and pawed his muzzle. “Oh God, Chief; not you too?”