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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Endless fighting.That’s all it had been since she reached Hope County. One big, long, useless, unending war. With her job, with her friends, with her enemies. Nothing she did would ever please everyone. How she wished she could have gone back and stopped the events that led to where she was now. No, not stopped them. Changed them. It wasn’t that she didn’t want this. She just wished things were different. Easier. Simpler.That fateful day. How she wishes she could go back and stop herself from making such a huge mistake. All in the name of her God forsaken job she cared so much about. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The whir of the helicopter blades behind her slowed and died, as she adjusted her glossy, long black hair, pulling the matted mess into a quick braid. How she hated helicopter rides. She loved the feeling of flying, of the freedom of gliding above the world looking down on it. But it didn’t do wonders for her thick hair that stopped just below her breasts. Messy braid intact, Evie placed it in front of her left shoulder, the wispy strands of hair tickling her neck as she walked behind her colleagues. She strode with purpose; she was a junior deputy after all, she needed to impress her boss, Whitehorse.
“Come on, Rook.” The older man yelled back at her. Apologetically, she nodded, and half ran to catch up.Sheriff Whitehorse was a kind-hearted man, but stern in the line of work. He’d often pick our young deputy up lunch during his break, but then yell at her for discrepancies in her paperwork minutes later. She looked up to him, respected him, and appreciated all the father-like actions he took for her. But in all honesty, he made Evie doubt her career choice daily. She didn’t see herself in his shoes years down the line, nor did she want to. But this is where she was. And, no matter what, Evie gave everything in her life her all.She walked alongside Deputy Hudson. Now, Hudson was a little hit or miss too. Some days she’d spend hours helping Evie with her paperwork to avoid Whitehorse’s wrath. Some days the two would grab drinks after a long shift. Some days Hudson wouldn’t give her the time of day. Some days Hudson’s wrath would be much more furious that the Sheriff’s.Her favourite deputy remained back in the helicopter. Pratt was a softie. If she was being honest, Evie often questioned why he chose this line of work. He was kind, forgiving, and always smiling. Even when making arrests and dealing with the worst of criminals, he showed kindness. Even when dealing with Evie’s mistakes, where the others would yell and show the disappointment she was used to, Pratt would sit her down and show her what she was doing wrong, all with a smile. As mentioned before, she often wondered how he chose a career in law enforcement, but when she saw how dedicated, and focused, he was in the field, she understood.Leading this march was the US Marshal, Burke. Evie had only met the man hours before, but she could see he was driven. Motivated. Ambitious. Almost to the point of obsession, and that worried the young deputy. He was hell bent on taking down this “cult”.And that’s what brought them here. To this compound.Evie left soft footprints in the muddy path leading forward. The party walked in a loose formation through the white gates. The paint was peeling from the rusted iron bars, yet, somehow, despite the lack of care and upkeep, they towered over the law enforcement, feeling imposing. “Church of Eden’s Gate.” Gentle singing flowed through the air and hit the junior deputy’s ears. That’s the moment she learnt it was possible for something to both stir up vast feelings of dread and unease, and softly sooth them at the same time. Moonlight shone down upon them, illuminating black symbols that were painted on every building and vehicle in sight, and even on the skin of many of these cultists. The church ahead started to appear through the thick fog shrouding the compound, even more imposing than the gates. The singing grew louder. Evie had never seen a church so beautiful. It was hard to believe these people were criminals. Everything seemed so pure. The singing grew louder. The marshal spoke as if these white walls housed the devil himself. Maybe it was too white. Something felt wrong about all of this. The singing grew louder. Step by step, the feeling of unease raised inside the young deputy. The singing grew louder. Was it too late to turn back? Definitely. The cultists behind her looked heavily armed. More armed than she or her colleagues. Her handgun seemed so pathetic and useless now. The singing grew louder; why wouldn’t it stop? Evie’s head spun, and the Sheriff’s words from earlier echoed through her head. Finally, something piercing through the singing, which grew louder.
“Just sometimes… sometimes its best to leave well enough alone.”
Burke started to open the enormous door, when Whitehorse pushed it shut again.
“Woah, Marshal. Now we do this, we do it my way: Quietly. Calmly. You got it?”
As wound up as the US Marshal may have previously been, those words built up more anger inside him. But he had to agree. Hudson remained on the door, keeping guard on all the “Peggies” outside, while the Sheriff and the Marshal led the junior deputy into the church.Into all this mess.
I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see.
Its amazing, the details someone remembers about traumatic events. Evie remembers walking down the length of the church, that symbol burning brightly into her eyes as a voice she couldn’t quite see the source of spoke out. He spoke of a reckoning. He spoke of people coming to destroy them, to take their faith. He spoke of an end to suffering. And as he spoke, she saw him, compelled to listen. She noticed the others, and how they watched with the same wonderment that she did. And as quickly as she began to be pulled in, she was knocked back by the Marshal’s sudden outburst.“Joseph Seed! I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm. Now I want you to step forward, and keep your hands where I can see them.”There it was. His calming voice stopped once Burke spoke, angry and brutish. Whitehorse looked at him, and back at Evie, unsure of what to do next. Suspicion. Intent. The Marshal didn’t even have a solid conviction with concrete evidence and here they were to arrest this man.“Here they are. The locusts in our garden. You see, they’ve come for me. They’ve come to take me away from you. They’ve come to destroy all that we built!”A dozen of Joseph’s followers stood before the Sheriff, the Marshal, and the concerned deputy. Everyone began yelling, threatening. But that’s not the part Evie remembered. She remembers a small gathering around Joseph, all people she recognised as his siblings. A young woman, Faith, who looked troubled by the whole ordeal. She clearly cared for The Father. An older man, Jacob, stood with his muscular arms crossed in front of his chest, who almost seemed amused by the events. A younger man, a little older than her, with blind fury in his eyes. That must be John, she thought. He looked upon the Marshal and the Sheriff with disgust, and a little worry. But when his eyes met Evie’s, they softened slightly, curious. In fact, upon looking across all their faces, she noticed three things. One – they all clearly looked up to and loved this man before them. Two – they all looked at the junior deputy with a burning curiosity, unlike the others, whom they regarded with anger. They all wondered what part she played, what she would do next. And three – this was never going to end well.The deputy was so caught up in the family before her, that she wasn’t aware of the discord around her, and how The Father had soothed his followers, sending them away.
“God will not let them take me.”Now, it might be worth noting that Evie herself, believed in God. Sure, she didn’t go to church on Sundays. She swore and took His name in vain. She sinned and didn’t confess or atone. But she believed in the power of prayers. Ever since she was a little girl, she prayed. Not for herself. Never for herself. She knew she had no right to ask for things for herself from a God she probably disrespected daily. But she prayed for those around her. Her friends. Those that are suffering. Those who needed her prayers. So, when she heard those words, she trembled a little. Was this a test of her faith? God will not let them take me. “I saw when the Lamb opened the First Seal, and I heard as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts say, come and see…”
“Step. Forward.” Burke grew impatient, angering The Father.
“…and I saw, and behold it was a white horse…” Joseph’s gaze turned to the Sheriff, who shrunk under his burning gaze behind those yellow sunglasses, before he turned straight before him, holding his hands out in surrender to Evie, holding her gaze with his.
“…and Hell followed with him.” All Evie could do was listen and watch, as his siblings watched her. Hell. Did he mean… her? If he could really hear the Voice, was this prophecy he foresaw true? Was she going to bring about Hell? Is that how He looked down on her?Beyond what the deputy could see, the young woman stood behind Joseph grew worried as Evie stepped closer to The Father, while the Seed brothers, Joseph included, still looked upon her with interest. Particularly the younger man, who’s eyes searched hers with a child-like, inquisitive look, and his breath hitched when her eyes met his. He focussed on her messy braid, and how her jet-black hair somehow shone bright in the dim light of the church. Anything to avoid the way her eyes seemed to sparkle every time their gaze met.“Rookie. Cuff this son of a bitch.” His impatience would be Burke’s downfall, as the Sheriff and deputy both thought in this moment. She was torn. Her faith was shaking, and she had to choose between her gut instinct, and her superior’s orders.“God will not let you take me.”There it was again. It sounded more threatening this time and directed right and the young deputy. She could feel all eyes on her, and her hands shook, holding the handcuffs. She thought about throwing them down and walking away. She thought about standing beside The Father, as, for some reason, his words resonated within her, and his family looked upon her in a way no one has. For the first time for as long as she could remember, she didn’t feel invisible. But she could also feel the growing anger of the men beside her. Joseph’s eyes bore right into her soul, and the younger brother behind him cocked his head, shuffling side to side, intrigued at the deputy’s hesitation. Everyone in the room knew how this was going to end. There was no way out. If she didn’t do this, her career was over. Which is why she cuffed him. In hindsight, that was probably her biggest mistake. But that’s the funny thing about hindsight, isn’t it?His voice whispered softly in her ear, as she placed the cuffs on his wrists.“Sometimes, the best thing to do… is to walk away.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Joseph was right. Sometimes it is best to just walk away. Evie wished she had listened to her gut. She knew this wasn’t right. As her eyes flitted between the man in cuffs before her, and his siblings stood behind him, she knew it wasn’t right. Something felt off about the whole thing, but she couldn’t do anything about it.The Seeds could see her inner torment as her panicked eyes looked to them all. Faith showed sadness in her eyes, watching The Father, the man who had saved her, get taken away. She owed her life to Joseph, but there was nothing she could do in this moment. Jacob showed indifference and confusion to all that was happening, and a little annoyance at the men stood beside the young deputy. Not towards her though. He saw something in her that her recognised; that feeling of not having a choice. That feeling of regret. Joseph took pity on the young woman. He could tell she regretted her choice as soon as she made it, and that she was struggling to come to terms with the implications of his prophecy, for he had noticed the cross hanging from her neck. Perhaps she believed in his words, that God would not let her take him. Perhaps she feared God’s wrath in that moment. John was still looking with curiosity at the woman before him. A look of despair in his ocean blue eyes, his smirk finally faded from his face, fearing Joseph’s words possibly more than Evie did.You see, John did not have the easiest life, not that that was particularly relevant in this moment. But, because of this, all he could see in her was himself. Lustful implications of that phrase aside, which was most certainly a thought on his mind a moment ago, he recognised that helpless look, much like Jacob did. But John felt a compelling urge to help the woman, in the way Joseph had helped him in his hardest time. As mentioned before, he recognised that helpless look. That fear of disappointing those around her. He knew that all too well. And for reasons unbeknownst to him, John felt terrified, not for his brother, but for the woman fulfilling his prophetic verse. She was the Hell that would rip The Father away and set events into motion, causing the Collapse. But she was so innocent, so unaware, so oblivious to everything. It wasn’t fair on her. She had no idea.And so, the hellish events began. Everything after the arrest felt hazy to Evie. She remembers walking to the helicopter, leading The Father in handcuffs. She remembers taking one last glance at the family behind. She remembers the Peggies getting more and more riled up as they reached the helicopter. Gunshots. Screaming. Peggies shouting, climbing onto the helicopter. Beeping. Panic. Plummeting towards the treeline.But most of all, she remembers that damn singing.“Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me”Evie awoke to that singing again, his voice pulling her softly out of unconsciousness.“Don’t worry, child. There is hope for you yet. We can save you. You can atone.”He slipped out of Evie’s vision, as she struggled in her harness. Hudson and Burke were struggling to free themselves too, as Joseph preached to his followers. The ringing in her ears prevented the junior deputy from hearing much, but the part she did hear scared her.“BEGIN THE REAPING!”As she watched Hudson get pulled from the wreckage and taken away, Evie struggled more and more, barely escaping as golden flames engulfed the carcass of the helicopter. And she ran. She ran until her legs couldn’t move anymore, and she hid in the treeline, avoiding the flashlights shining around the area. Her breathing rapid, she held her knees to her chest, attempting to prevent herself from passing out. Luckily, the area had grown quiet and uninhabited by Peggies when her radio buzzed to life. Burke’s voice erupted from the radio. He sounded shaken, but at least he was alive. Evie thought it best to meet him at the trailer he said he was hiding in. Strength in numbers.She arrived safely, after nearly getting her head blown off by the US Marshal, before recognition hit his eyes.“Rook, you’re alive!”“Barely.”“Come on in. Make sure the place is secure. There has to be some supplies in here.”Evie raised her department issued handgun and cautiously stepped into the next room, scanning the area. Seemed clear. She ransacked the room, grabbing a few bandages, before returning to Burke. A photograph caught her eye. The Seeds. There sat Joseph, surrounded by his most faithful followers. Much like in the church, her eyes were drawn to the youngest man, John. There was a desperation in his eyes that she felt akin to. But her focus on the photo was short lived once voices came from outside.She and the Marshal immediately ducked, taking cover by the window. Burke handed the young woman a rifle, which she looked down at with trepidation. She was expected to use any force necessary, but the situation still felt so wrong to her. All hesitation was thrown to the wind, though, once the shooting started.What the young deputy might lack in experience in the field, and accuracy in paperwork, she more than made up for with sharpshooter skills. Although a niggling thought sat heavy in the back of her mind, she made short work of any Peggies in their way, as she and Burke jumped in a truck and made a break for it. Mutterings about the National Guard and crazy fucking cultists spouted from the Marshal’s lips, though Evie was unsure of the truth of it all. It really seemed like they would make it out.Until a bloody plane, of all things, shot down the bridge.Everything was black for a while for Evie. She remembers passing images. Plummeting into the water. Swimming to the edge of the river. Watching Burke get dragged away. She also remembers a tall, silhouetted figure towering over her, carrying her away.Meanwhile, John was in a total state of panic. He meant to shoot the truck in front of the young deputy, who was still occupying his mind. He meant to block the bridge. He meant to trap them and have her captured. But his mind had wandered to thoughts of the deputy, thoughts of her confessing her sins to him. His mind had wandered, and it caused him to become very careless. His mind had wandered, and he watched at the truck plunged into the Henbane. In total panic, he circled over and over until he saw her barely conscious form wash up on the riverside. His panic dissipated and turned into relief. After which turned into confusion. Why did he care about this woman? She tried to take his brother away. She was the enemy, surely?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next few days were rough for the young deputy. Evie had watched as her friends were dragged away to the three Heralds of Hope County. After the crash, with Dutch as her only ally, she had her work cut out for her as she scouted the regions. Lonely. Scared. Still unsure of right and wrong.Faith, she had learnt, was holding Marshal Burke to the east, along the Henbane River. Evie had heard stories about Faith’s angels – mindless zombies pumped full of a drug, known as Bliss, until they served her without question. Blind faith. Poetic, one would suppose, if it didn’t result in so many needless deaths on both sides of this war. Evie understood now why they called her Faith. She prayed to God Burke wouldn’t be turned into another one of her pawns. But the way he looked on that video, so happy, so carefree, she worried deeply for him. She wasn’t overly fond of the Marshal, but the Bliss was messing with him, and right now, in the hands of the Seeds, he was a threat. She had received a message form Sheriff Whitehorse, who managed to escape in all the chaos, who was holed up in Hope County Jail. At least there was a friendly face out their somewhere.Up in the misty mountains, north of Dutch’s bunker, laid home to Jacob. All she had managed to learn about the eldest Seed brother, despite lack of trying, was that he was ex-army, incredibly protective, and currently holding Pratt. Evie worried about him. His kind-hearted nature contrasted Jacob’s aggressive demeanour in an almost comical way. She was frightened for what he would make Pratt do. Frightened for how he could change him to be another one of his ruthless soldiers. Not to mention his Judges. Strong, powerful, aggressive wolves Jacob somehow trained and mind-controlled to protect himself and his followers. Hyper-aggressive wolves. Great.However, neither of the other Herald’s forms of brainwashing frightened Evie quite as much as John’s methods did. Down in Holland Valley, she learnt of John’s status as “The Baptist”. She also learnt Hudson was being held somewhere in the valley. She imagined the hell she was living in. Not because of the torture she was probably going through, but because she had to be so close to a charming, successful business man – the kind of man Hudson despised. The scary thing about John is that he seemed to attract almost anyone to confess. And those that don’t submit thereafter learn about “The Power of Yes” through any means necessary. But that wasn’t what frightened Evie. What frightened her was her desire to see him again. Under what circumstances, she wasn’t sure. But she was curious about him.He was curious about her, too. If she could have seen the smile on his face when he heard she was in his region, liberating Fall’s End, blowing up his silos, causing him trouble. It wasn’t a cunning, sly smile. It wasn’t a threatening smile, either. It was one of pure joy. The deputy was here, coming after him. The thought of seeing her again excited him. Purely for the sole reason of making her confess, of course. Or, that’s what he tried to tell himself.So, he sent out a party to find her. She was not to be harmed, that much was under strict instruction from the Baptist. Bliss bullets only. He wanted to make his brother proud and be the one to bring in the Deputy. He wanted her to confess. To atone. To say Yes, to more than just the confession, to more than just the atonement. He wanted her to say Yes to him.Not that Joseph needed to know that. Evie was scrambling through the wilderness, dodging the capture party John had sent to find her. She had just blown up a silo, revelling in the glory of the idea of pissing off John Seed, when the radio buzzed to life.“Sin is pervasive. It drives us to do unspeakable acts. I know the feelings that drive you. I know them... Intimately. But I can help you. Deputy. I can wash away these sins. I can cleanse your soul. It will be difficult, and it will be painful, but... it will be worth it. My people will come for you. They will bring you to me. Don't fight it. Because the harder you resist, well... the harder we'll have to scrub your soul.”She remained silent as she listened to his words, his pleasant voice pulling her in, holding her attention on every word. The way his voice flowed so melodically. The way she could hear his smile as he spoke of sins. Spoke of her. But, as all good things must come to an end, his speech came to an end, and the seductive tone of his voice gave way to the rumbling of trucks speeding down the road towards her. Pulled from her John Seed induced trance, she sprinted for the trees.Wisps of hair flew in her face as she ran through the trees, loose strands falling from her messy braid, decorated with leaves and twigs. Branches caught on her exposed skin, scratching and grazing her. She cursed her choice of clothes, cursed the hot Montana weather, cursed John fucking Seed. Him and his stupid hold over Holland Valley and his dumb silos and his ridiculous attractiveness. She paused for a second, no longer able to hear the Peggie’s chasing her down, and rested against a tree. Leading this resistance was tough. Mary May would send Evie off somewhere, Pastor Jerome somewhere else when she returned. Then she’d get word from Whitehorse to help across in the Henbane River. And reports of Peggie activity in the Whitetail Mountains. And more jobs in Holland Valley. The young deputy was exhausted, running all over Hope County, saving people from… something. She didn’t really know what she was saving them from, or if she was saving them at all.So, when that Peggie caught her off guard from across the treeline and hit her shoulder with a Bliss bullet, she felt a small sense of relief.At least she’d get a little rest.And maybe the chance to see John when she awoke.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The pale moonlight shone down brightly that night, reflecting on the water’s surface, lighting up the night. The light danced upon the river with each ripple. Black shadows of the trees around cast over the river, a stark contrast to the bright light beaming down. The picturesque setting radiated tranquillity. From above, Holland Valley looked so peaceful, so serene. Shame, that the Deputy couldn’t see the world from up there.“We must Atone…”Instead, Evie awoke with a burning in her lungs, plunged into the frigid water she stood in. Once she realised her surroundings, she was dragged up above the water’s surface, gasping for air. Her attention was quickly drawn to a voice nearby. A very distinctive voice.“…for only then, may we stand… in the light of God...”Her eyes stung as she furiously blinked away the water in her eyes, her vision blurry. Was it from the water, or the Bliss running through her system? She couldn’t tell, but as she was led forward, her vision became clear. If not a little rose tinted.“… and walk through his gates…”And she saw him. His voice shaking a little in trepidation, as he closed his book and allowed his eyes to gaze into hers.“…unto Eden.”There he stood, knee deep in water, the sleeves of his azure shirt rolled to just above his elbows. His perfectly trimmed beard framed that smile so beautifully. If her hands weren’t bound, perhaps she would have reached out to touch it. Touch him. She eyed him up and down, his vest and shirt unbuttoned, showing something carved into his chest. Sloth. His arms and hands were decorated with tattoos and the deputy found herself staring.He noticed. Of course, he noticed. Those gorgeous blue eyes wouldn’t miss a single detail of the woman before him. The way her thin, white shirt was soaked through, clinging to her body, revealing the dark blue bra beneath. The way her hair was a dishevelled mess and yet she still looked a vision. The way her eyes were not filled with fear, like the others who had been cleansed. No, hers were filled with something different… something more. One might mistake it for joy, or content. But it was deeper than that. Acceptance. Longing, perhaps. Desire.“Not this one.”He held out his arm, giving pause to the Peggie who had walked her towards him. Handing the follower the ivory book in his hand, he ordered him away, turning his body back to Evie. Her breath hitched in her throat when he stepped toward her, sending ripples of water up her thighs, his face inches from hers. He reached up to pull a leaf from her raven hair, and cast it aside, playfully stroking her braid. His breath caught too, surprised at his own actions. At how close her was to her, finally. At how… right it felt. He wanted to savour this moment, but he grew very aware of the eyes of his followers upon him. What was he doing? Why was he so drawn to this woman?“This one’s not clean.”His words echoed in her head as he plunged her back below the water’s surface. He must be the one to wash away her sins. She thrashed her head as her lungs began to burn, more so than before. She needed air. But he held her there. Maybe, if he held her down long enough, he could wash away his sins, too. For she was his sin. From the moment their eyes locked in the church, his thoughts of her had strayed to being impure. Not something he wasn’t used to, but he definitely wasn’t used to being so caught up on a person for this long.As her vision began to blacken, he pulled her up, shushing her gasps and splutters. He looked upon her. No, it didn’t work. There she was, his sin. How could someone who looked so pure to him be so full of sin. Her eyes begged for a small amount of mercy, yet, showed acceptance for her fate. He paused to look upon the cross hanging on her chest (and definitely not to get a good look at her breasts). The truth was, she thought she deserved this. All of this. She had been warned. God will not let you take me. In her Bliss filled mind, she believed this was what she deserved, unaware that John himself was projecting his own sin onto her. Trying to cleanse himself, too.Maybe if he tried one more time…“Do you mock the cleansing, John?”He froze, shivering. Partly from the cool breeze tickling his exposed skin. Partly from the frigid water he stood in. Partly from his closeness to the deputy. But mostly, it was the disapproving tone of his brother that sent shivers down his spine. His eyes softened, no longer tormented by his confusion as he stopped looking upon the drenched woman he clung onto, hovering above the water’s surface. “No, Joseph.”His tone was so solemn, his blue eyes losing the sparkle Evie saw when he looked at her before. She felt sorry for him. She wanted to pull him into her arms and comfort him. She would, of course, later tell herself that was the Bliss talking, as her vision clouded with sparkling white lights around him.“Shhh. You have to love them, John. Do not let your sin prevent that. Bring that one to me.” Joseph’s voice was deep and calm, and John guided Evie towards him. One hand deftly placed upon her shoulder, skilfully avoiding the wound from the Bliss bullet. His thumb gently rubbed small circles into her shoulder blade, dissolving the tension she felt. His other hand was wrapped around her bound wrists, but as they reached the Father, his hand slipped around one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, before he broke contact with her.Joseph placed his hands upon her shoulders, not so cautious of the wound, causing her to flinch away from his touch slightly. Evie didn’t noticed how John balled his hands into fists as she winced in pain. But he did.“Despite all that you have done, you are not beyond Salvation. You're not here by accident or by chance. You are here by the grace of God. You've been given a gift. Now it remains to be seen whether you choose to embrace it...” he paused to cast a glance at her necklace, that symbol of her faith, “…or to cast it aside.”John caught the way Joseph’s eyes had wandered, and dug his nails into his hands, almost drawing blood. It was that action that caused him surprise. Confusion. Uncertainty of what had come over for him. He approached his brother, who pulled him closer, wrapping a hand around his head in what could be seen as a sign of affection, and rested his forehead against John’s. He allowed himself to rest for a second, overwhelmed by these strong feelings, and closed his eyes as Joseph spoke once more. “This one shall reach the atonement. Or the Gates of shall be shut to you, John.”An onlooking follower might mistake the exchange as a loving one, from the closeness of the brothers, the way Joseph ran his hand through John’s hair as he parted and left. But they couldn’t hear the saddened tone in his voice, as he whispered out a “Yes, Joseph.” They couldn’t see the way his face dropped, and his eyes fluttered upon, unable to look at his brother until he had walked away.But Evie could see that. And her heart sank. His moonlit face looked so broken and vulnerable. He showed emotions she was unaware he was even capable of feeling. And when he finally turned to her, he saw her pity, her sorrow on his behalf, and it ignited a fire within him.John had never seen anyone look at him the way she did. And while his heart almost leapt out of his chest when he saw the way she cared, it angered him to know she had witnessed how pathetic and small he could be. Something snapped inside him, and he looked upon her with white hot rage. She was keeping him from reaching the gates of Eden. But not for long, he thought.“You will confess. Every sin you've ever committed, no matter how petty, no matter how small... I will pull from you. Then we'll see if you're worthy of Atonement.”His harsh tone of voice cut her deep, as Evie’s face contorted in confusion. His whole demeanour changed so quickly, and before she had time to process his rage, she was being pulled away and stuffed into the back of a truck.John Seed had an incredible skill he had developed through his lifetime. Around his parents, his teachers, his clients, his ex-lovers. He could show anyone the face that they wanted to see. The one they needed to see. He could make anyone open up to him. Tell him their secrets. Make them… confess. He would never let someone see a side of him he didn’t want them to see.But he just did. He just allowed the deputy to see him vulnerable, see him weak. And, honestly, that scared him. She awakened something inside him, something he was uncertain about.Thus, when he learned of her escape, he laughed. He was almost relieved. Sure, he would have to tell Joseph she had slipped from his grasp, but that task seemed much less daunting than facing her again. As the night went on, John heard his radio buzz to life a few times. After the first time, he placed it beside him, as he sifted through the mountain of paperwork at his desk. It had crackled more frequently in the last few minutes, allowing him to hear music in the background, along with the hum of chattering voices and clinking of glasses. All of which drowned out by the junior deputy’s heavy sigh without a word, before the sound cut off. He wasn’t really working, just absentmindedly reading while listening for something more through the radio. Sloth, indeed.As he stroked the sin carved across his chest, he picked up the radio, mustering the courage himself to say something. He was taken back a little when the radio buzzed to life again.“John?”He could hear no noise in the background this time, just her voice, ringing out in his silent office. He sat back in his chair, relaxing a little at the sound of her voice.“Deputy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”Evie had left the Spread Eagle, ditching her friends who continued to drink into the night, and made her way to her truck, her only place of rest, to sleep for the night.“I…I just…” She couldn’t believe it, but she actually wanted to apologise for escaping. To say sorry for running away from the man who tried to drown her. To say sorry for running away from confessing her sins. To apologise for worrying him about not reaching the gates of Eden. She wasn’t going to say it right now, though, and opted for something a little more sarcastic instead.“I just wanted to say hi. You know, check in. It’s been hours since I escaped, and you haven’t radioed in to threaten me. Or annoy me. Or both.”John chuckled at her, his laughed sending chills down her spine.“Well, my dear Deputy, I’m here to annoy you now. Tell me, why end your little party so soon? Surely you want to celebrate your escape with your friends in Falls End?”“And stay there so you can shoot me with that bloody Bliss again? Not likely. Besides, I’ve been back two hours and I’ve already got a list of things to do tomorrow as long as my arm.”“You know, if you came here, if you confessed your sins, you wouldn’t have to work yourself to the bone for them anymore.” He smiled into the radio, already aware of how pointless his speech was, but also aware of how much it riled her up hearing it over and over, “All you have to do is say Yes. It’s just one word.”“I’ve seen that stupid promotional video, John,” the one where Evie was so drawn in by his words, his face, his smile, she didn’t even notice Deputy Hudson until the third time she saw it, “I’m not saying it.”“Maybe not yet, but you will. You’re just drunk. You’ll sleep it off and realise what a horrible mistake you’ve made and come running back.”“Very funny. Besides, I’m only a little bit drunk. And I might as well not bother sleeping and just start tackling this list. You know, you and your siblings are making life real hard for me, John.”He smiled again, hearing his name. The way it rolled so naturally off her tongue. He looked out of his window and up into the starry night, knowing she was doing the same. He knew she had no place to call home, and he could see it in the eyes that it drained her, both mentally and physically.What surprised them both was just how easy it was to talk to one another. This was the first time they had had a real conversation, as opposed to John’s usual taunts and threats, met by either silence on Evie’s part, or a few words.“Why do you…” John began, unsure of how to phrase this delicately, how to make her think about it without being offended. “… why is it that you seem to be the only one doing the liberating around here?”He was met with silence for a while, and he was afraid he’d inadvertently ended the conversation. Evie was staggered by his question. Did he really think he’d let all these people suffer? No, that’s not what he was asking.“What do you mean?” She responded after a minute of pondering.“Well, it seems to me that the people of Hope County always set you off with tasks and jobs. But… what is it exactly that they’re doing? I’ve only ever had reports of you causing trouble around here. Not Mary May. Not that Pastor James. Not even Nick Rye, and we all know how much he hates me.” The pair both laughed. Everyone in the county knew of Nick’s dislike for the Seed family, John Seed in particular. “So, what are they doing?”“They’re getting to live their lives, John.”“Right. And when do you get to live yours?”She paused again. She really didn’t know. She didn’t see a quick end to this. She was dedicating most of her time to Holland Valley, probably because of her desire to see John, which meant any footholds in Faith’s and Jacob’s regions had been lost as quickly as they were taken. The people were begging for help, but she simply couldn’t do it by herself. She was only one person. Not to mention the struggle John himself was putting her through. Always pushing back with a greater force than she could defend against.“I… I don’t know.”“Just think about it. You deserve to live your life too, Deputy. Which reminds me. I have been asking around everywhere, no one seems to know your name. Hudson is too full of pride to tell me herself.”“Everyone just calls me Deputy.”“But you must have a name, my dear?”Evie froze again. No one in the county ever cared enough to ask her name. It was always “Deputy, thank God you’re here!” or “Deputy, we need you!” but John, he actually asked. Unsure of his motive, she remained quiet, but she couldn’t ignore the way her heart fluttered when he asked.“I just… It must be hard. Being dragged around all over the place, helping people who have no intention of helping you back. Not even the intention of caring enough to ask you your name.”“It’s Evie.”“Hmmm, Evie…” John enjoyed the way her name sounded from his lips, as did she. She felt almost human again upon hearing it. She wasn’t just “Deputy” to him. “Well, Evie,” he put extra stress on her name, which made her giggle, “I should probably allow you some sleep, if you’re planning on causing me trouble tomorrow. That is, unless you’ve changed your mind about confession?”Evie couldn’t fault the man for lack of trying, and his smirk was practically audible.“No, John. But I’m sure you’ll see me again soon. You know, when you send your goons after me.” She laid back in her truck, getting as comfortable as she could, her head spinning a little in her tipsy state.
“We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when…”
She sang sweetly and sleepily, pausing to let John finish. He, himself, was taken by surprise when her voice turned so melodical, but couldn’t help but laugh and indulge her.
“But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day.”
Her heart felt heavy, plagued again with the knowledge that he needed her to reach atonement. For his brother. For himself. And she, deep down, wanted to atone.“John, I’m sorry.”“Whatever for?”She paused, thinking it over, but too tired to explain her thoughts to him. She could feel her eyes begin to droop shut, fatigue claiming her.“Doesn’t matter. Goodnight, John.”“Goodnight, Evie.”She smiled widely at the sound of her name and fell asleep quickly.John, on the other hand, was wide awake. He felt happy, but also confused at his own happiness. He didn’t think he deserved any. Not while he was riddled with so much sin, the subject of which being the same subject as his happiness.He felt Pride in the fact he could draw her name from her. That he was the only one in the county he had entrusted it to. Not even his siblings, not even the Father knew her name. He felt Greed in the way he longed for her. Wanted to see her again. Already needing to hear her voice again. He suffered from Sloth anytime he heard her voice, or simply when she plagued his mind. His work, Eden’s Gate, even his own self-care came second when the opportunity arose to meddle with her. He felt Envy for every single one of those citizens who got to be close to her, to talk to her, to ask her for help without even caring about her. Just caring about what she could do for them. It made him angry. Full of Wrath.And of course, he felt Lust. But in a way he had never felt it before. Not just the raw burning desire to sleep with her, but he wanted her close. Wanted to hold her, care for her in the way she needed. And that’s what he wanted in return. To be cared for, held, reassured, lov… no. Not that. He didn’t deserve that.If only he knew Evie was overwhelmed by the same sins that affected him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The Resistance, the Whitetails, and the Cougars continued to be a pestilence on the Seed family throughout Hope County. Battle scars tore across the county as men and women fell on both sides of the war. That’s what it was now. A war. Peggies running around screaming about the end of the world, claiming they’re trying to save people. Those who hadn’t joined, hadn’t atoned, saw it as needless, unprovoked violence.Evie wasn’t sure what to think. Eden’s Gate, the Seeds, they were kidnapping, torturing, drugging, killing people. Their methods, in the name of God, were wrong. And yet, that silver cross around her neck kept her mind on edge. There was truth to Joseph’s words, at least, he truly believed them. Not to mention, every movement from the Peggies was met by the resistance with lethal force. No waiting, no talking, no attempt at peace.Peace. That was a funny notion to Evie. When each night drew near, she’d find herself exhausted, drained both physically and mentally from the day, with only the back of her truck to sleep in. There was one rainy night she chanced sleeping in an abandoned cabin in the woods. It was just her luck that Peggies happened to raid it, leading to her barely slipping away. Then the morning would come, and the young deputy, feeling like she hadn’t slept at all, would repeat the cycle all over again. Save an innocent. Destroy a shrine. Kill some Peggies. Free some hostages. Liberate an outpost. Destroy. Save. Kill.Strangely, the one solace she could take was in that of her enemy. At the end of every day, that troublesome, annoying young Seed brother would radio in. Just a quick message, asking if she’s ready to confess. After a swift “No” he’d leave her alone to sleep, but she enjoyed the contact all the same. Just someone to talk to who wasn’t going to send her off on another job.John, on the other hand, started to feel a little ritualistic about his check ins every evening. He, too, enjoyed talking to someone who wanted nothing from him, even if all he got was just a simple word. And not the one he wanted to hear. He would never be able to admit it to himself, but an onlooker would easily see the worry in his face, the way his eyebrows furrowed, and his hands would ball into fists, whenever the deputy took a while to respond. Probably in the middle of a gunfight, no doubt with his own followers.On this night, Evie crawled into her truck as she left an outpost and just started…driving. She just needed to drive away from there.Everything had gone fairly smoothly. Dispatching of Peggies swiftly and silently. There were three hostages inside whose lives depended on her stealth. She’d managed to disable two alarms and she pulled back her bow to destroy the third, when a sniper she hadn’t noticed spotted her. As she let the arrow go, lodging deeply into the circuitry and rendering it useless, she heard his yell, and scrambled for cover. Ducking behind a wall, she pulled out her handgun and took down the three remaining Peggies on the ground, who had begun charging towards her, and the sniper on the roof, all without receiving a single wound.Peering through the window, she saw the three hostages, still alive, thank God. She could hear their cries for help, and she walked past the huge glass window to the door, kicking it down with force. Handgun out, she made sure the room was secure, before crossing to the hostages.“Deputy! Thank the Lord, you’re here to save us!” a woman cried out, and Evie holstered her handgun.The next few moments felt like they happened in slow motion. Like one of those action movies Evie loved growing up. She took steps forward with purpose. Ready to free them. Ready to be a hero. So ready, she didn’t notice the tripwire she triggered. Her eyes widened with panic, as she locked eyes with the woman who spoke up, still smiling, unaware of what was about to happen.It was a small explosion. Didn’t need to be big, that would have put the deputy in danger, and Joseph wanted her alive. Under strict orders. It was big enough to blow the window out. Big enough to cause glass to shatter outwards over the outpost, scattering like diamonds amongst the chaos, glistening under the moonlight.Big enough to instantly kill those three, innocent people. All because she wanted to play the God damn hero. So, she drove. Running out of there as fast as she could, throwing herself into the driver’s seat, and drove. The roads were dark and the sky pitch black, the moon now hidden behind thick clouds. They were oddly empty, or she just didn’t notice anyone else as she drove. And by some cruel twist of fate, she found herself getting out of the truck, face to face with that stupid “YES” sigh, as her radio cracked to life.“Deputy!” Yes, John generally still referred to her as deputy. Evie hadn’t noticed, she was used to it. John just didn’t want his followers to know her name. It was his secret.“Hear you’ve been causing trouble today, as always. So, ready to confess? Atone for your sins?”She stared up at that massive eyesore of a sign, and choking out a strangled laugh, muttered a soft “Please, not now, John” into the radio. It wasn’t until she spoke, she could hear the raw emotion in her voice, and started to feel the tears that were staining her face.“That’s not your usual no.” And that statement lacked his usual smirk. His voice lowered to just above a whisper. “Hang on a minute. Stay by your radio, will you?”Not like she had anywhere to go. Nowhere to call home. She grabbed a couple of blankets from her truck, and wandered over beneath the sign, looking out over the valley. It was peaceful. Perhaps, the one place in the valley, besides Seed Ranch, you couldn’t hear gunfire. One of the blankets wrapped around her body to protect her from the chill in the air, she waited, enjoying the view. Before the radio crackled again. John sounded out of breath and worried.“Evie, are you… are you okay?”She smiled at her name, before returning her face to the pained expression she wore since the outpost.“Don’t worry about me, John.”“Are you crying? Talk to me, it’s okay. I’m here to listen.”“Don’t you have some boring lawyer paperwork to do? Some poor soul to make confess?” she sniffled a small laugh through her choked sobs, trying to avoid John’s questions. She wanted to talk to him, more than anything she wanted to explain everything to him. After their first proper conversation a week ago, she felt oddly drawn to the man, like he was… safe. An odd quality to find in an enemy. But, after what had just happened, she didn’t think she deserved his time.“Very funny. But I’m done. Come on, Evie, it’s just us.” His voice laced with concern, he pleaded her to open up, “Tell me what’s wrong.”“I was… they died be… because of me.” Evie was starting to grow hysterical, breathing quick, head pounding and spinning, tears streaming down her face. Heat spread from her chest through to every inch of her body, starting a fast growing fever, and she grew nauseous. She’s never reacted like this to watching people die before, but there was something different about this. She could have saved them, if she’d just been careful.“Okay, Evie, I need you to calm down for me, alright? Just take some deep breathes. With me, okay?”John coaxed the young deputy through some deep breathes, attempting to calm her panicked state. He, himself, had been a mess since hearing her tearful voice to begin with. He was about to go for a night time plane ride, his followers preparing his pride and joy, The Affirmation, when he decided to check in. The looks he got from the men around him as he stepped down from the cockpit and literally sprinted back to the ranch, slamming and locking his bedroom door behind him.Evie’s breathing started to relax, and she sat, arms wrapped around her knees. She’d never felt that way before, and hoped she’d never feel that way again. She dropped the blanket from around her in an attempt to let the breeze cool her feverish body, sweat beading on her forehead.“Tell me what you can see.”“John, I’m not letting you… not telling you where I am.”“Evie, honestly, coming and capturing you is the last thing on my mind right now.” A lie. Truth be told, John wished he could have her there with him to make sure she was okay. But he knew sending a capture party wouldn’t go down well with her. “I just want you to forget about whatever is on your mind and tell me what’s around you. Talk about what you can see.”“The entire valley.”He knew exactly where she was. The best view in all of Hope County. When John was stressed, or needed time to himself, he would fly. Just jump in his plane and fly around. On those days he couldn’t, he’d sneak away from his armed guards, and drive up to that sign, where he’d look across the whole valley.“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”“Sure, if you ignore all the gunshots.”“You can’t hear them from up there. It’s peaceful.”Evie grew silent, eyes widening a little at the knowledge John knew where she was sat.“Evie, don’t go quiet on me, please. I told you, I’m not sending anyone after you. I promise.”“…alright. I’m sorry.”John stood up from his bed and walked to his window, looking across at that sign he had built for him.“Can you see the Ranch from up there?”“I can… in fact, I think I can see some self-important lawyer lingering around there. Better keep an eye out, John.” She teased, even letting out a small giggle.“Self-important? You wound me,” he chuckled, slow and deep, his voice resonating through his room, and echoing out into the darkness at the other end of the radio, “so, do you want to talk about what had you so upset?”Evie sighed, wrapping herself in that protective blanket again, as she recounted what had happened. Through soft cries, gentle sniffles, and broken sobs, she told John everything, while he whispered words of encouragement back. She felt so guilty, so responsible. It would have been so easy to walk out of there with three innocent lives intact.“Suppose I was in the mood for confession, after all.”“I…” John began, unsure of what to say, as to not offend the broken woman he lay in bed talking to. “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”“No but that’s just it. I didn’t have to. I messed up. And tomorrow everyone will applaud me for liberating that stupid outpost as if those lives didn’t matter. As if the only thing that matters is pissing you off, not the lives of the innocent.”“Hmm.” Perhaps her sin wasn’t Pride as John might have thought it was. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you can’t change the past, but you can learn from it. I know, that’s a pretty heartless thing to say right now, but…”“No, it helps. Sort of.”“You understand the value of every life, and now you’ll be less reckless and wrathful, less full of pride in the future.”“Trust you to make this about sin, again.”“It is my job.”“Thank you, John. For listening and helping.”“Wouldn’t have been right to leave you alone in the state you were in.”“Didn’t know you cared.” Evie said harshly, regretting her tone instantly, and attempted to lighten the mood again. “Ever the gentleman.”“You got me.” John didn’t let Evie’s tone affect him, knowing she was struggling with her emotions right now. She could hear the fatigue in her voice. Bless her, the woman probably hadn’t slept properly since arriving in Hope County.“Look, Evie, I’m going to tell you something, and you have to promise not to tell anyone about this.”“Alright? What is it?”“You see the “S”? Walk about 200 yards further behind it”“This better not be a trap, Seed.”“I’m a man of my word.”Evie walked until she saw a small cabin in front of her, staring at it.“The key is behind the plant pot.”Sure enough, when she moved the small fern, a key glinted in the darkness. Unlocking the door and locking it again behind her, she flicked on the light to see a grand king-sized bed placed in the centre of a fairly small room. In one adjoining room sat a sink and a small stove, and the other a bathroom, with a shower that caught Evie’s eye.“Well, John, this sure is better than the back of my truck.”“You’re welcome to use it anytime you need. Think of it as a safe house. I know you might not trust me, but you will. And you can. You need rest. A decent bed and a shower and a chance to mentally rest after a day like today. I would never take advantage of your vulnerability.”“Like I said, ever the gentleman.” Evie giggled into the radio as she launched herself onto the bed. “Thank you, John.”“Don’t mention it. At all. Okay?”“Of course. Our little secret. Seriously, thank you.” Her head hit the pillows at the same time John’s did, not that either of them would ever know how perfectly in sync they already were.“Sleep well, Evie.”“You too, John.”Evie undressed, enjoyed a warm shower, braided her hair, and crawled into the biggest bed she’d ever slept in. When she closed her eyes, she no longer saw those lives ending because of her, she felt calm. Her thoughts were filled with the soft, kind hearted John who listened to her pain that night, and how she wished to know him more. John’s were filled with the sweet woman who felt guilt for every life lost in this war he and his family waged against the Resistance. She perplexed him; how could a woman who seemed to kill so easily feel so much guilt over a few lives? She saw innocence in those she shouldn’t.Maybe she would, someday, see innocence in him, too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Evie… actually slept in. For the first time since she arrived in Hope County, she slept in until mid-morning. The sun shone down over the valley, illuminating the huge “YES” sign. But the small cabin she resided in remained hidden in the trees; a safe haven, their secret.She rolled over in the gigantic bed, sinking into the feather pillows, wrapped up in the quilt, and sighed. Finally, she awoke having felt like she had, indeed, slept. She was warm, and comfy, and honestly wrestling with the idea of staying there.But eventually, lazily, she rolled out of bed, making herself breakfast and coffee, before reaching over for her radio. She needed to let Mary May know she liberated that outpost. Needed to let Pastor James know she was ready to work. Needed to let Eli know she was heading over his way today.“John? You there?”Not exactly who she first intended on contacting, but she was still tapped into their private line. Guilt started to build up within her again, and she already regretted reaching out until she heard his voice.“Good morning! Feeling better today?”Truth be told, John had been waiting near his radio, unsure of whether to call or not. He couldn’t bring himself to risk waking her. “I feel more human. Nice bed and a shower will do that to you. And some very expensive looking coffee.” She took a sip, allowing it to warm and awaken her.“You’re not wrong. It is very expensive, so you better not drink it all.”“No promises.”They both laughed over the radio. A small moment in which they both felt relaxed, forgetting so easily that they were supposed to be enemies. A fact that didn’t cross John’s mind, so he saw no sense in hiding the concern in his voice over his next question.“Be honest with me though, Evie, are you okay?”She paused to think. There was no use in lying to John. He was possibly the only person in Hope County who understood her.“No. But I’m doing a little better. Thank you.”“No need to thank me. This is… well this is my fault anyway.”“Don’t. John, we can keep passing the blame on, but it doesn’t fix things. This was my fault; I have to deal with this.”John hated the guilt bubbling through in her voice, how she sounded on the verge of tears. Mostly, he hated the way that her mood seemed to affect his so much. He didn’t fully understand it, but he just wanted her to be okay.“I better go. You’ll be glad to know I’m heading north today. What will you do without me causing you trouble?”Her mood seemed a little lighter as she laughed, but a heaviness weighed in her voice that told John she was still in pain.“Hmm… maybe I’ll have someone rebuild some silos for you to destroy when you get back. Wouldn’t want you to stay away for too long now, would we?”Her laugh rang out again into John’s kitchen, smiling as he took a sip of coffee, although the warmth from the mug couldn’t compare to that he felt from her voice.“Wouldn’t dream of it. Thank you again, John.”“You’re more than welcome.”He smiled once more as he heard her softly cursing as she tried to change the channel on the radio, still holding the button down. He very much looked forward to hearing his brother’s complaining about the deputy, confident Jacob would remain unimpressed with her antics. Evie, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly looking forward to heading north. She’d decided to stay away from the Henbane for a while, since her last run in with Faith. She had no idea how much Bliss was in her system, but she had awoken at the foot of Joseph’s statue. She swore blind she remembers leaping from it, but the cold concrete beneath her proved otherwise. As did the scattered bodies and stones wet with blood around her. There’s no way she could have survived that jump.It why she found solace in the valley. The one place she felt safe. The mountains, and Jacob, frightened her. Evie knows Jacob sent for her. She knows he held her in that hotel. She remembers his voice echoing in her head. And there was a song, although she can’t quiet recall the melody. She also remembers waking up with a gun pointed at her head, surrounded by bodies and blood… so much blood. Everything in between is just blurry, and red. No one will outright tell her, but she knows she killed those people. And as she crossed the border, a sense of unease weighed upon her.She found herself liberating an outpost with care and precision that she wished she had the previous day. Slowly and silently disposing of Peggies. They weren’t holding any hostages, as far as Evie could tell. But she’d never forgive herself if her carelessness lead to more deaths. She even opted to leave any of Jacob’s followers alive that she could, feeling guilt at even their deaths.All was well, until her obscenely clumsy nature got the better of her, and she knocked over a crate. Two left. Two Peggies left and she gets detected. Before she knew it, a searing pain coursed through her leg, and as she fumbled for her gun, she peered down at her wound. Her vision around that tranquilising shot started to fade to black…Shit.