Work Text
A loss usually didn’t affect Isuzu that much when it happened. It just wasn’t in her nature to get upset over things like that. It just meant she needed to work harder in practice and put out better results.That’s why she was surprised by the overwhelming, suffocating feeling she had when she pulled herself out of the pool. She barely recognized the roar of the crowd as she walked back to the locker room.Isuzu rinsed off in the shower, bracing her hands against the wall as she stood under the spray. She didn’t pay much attention to the other girls who entered. They were all dealing with the same loss as well.She wasn’t sure how long she stood under the water, probably longer than was necessary, before she shut it off. She slicked the strands of wet hair back out of her face and grabbed her towel. Isuzu dried off as she walked back to her locker and got dressed in a fog.She swung her bag across her shoulders and shut the locker. As she exited the room, a voice called out to her.Isuzu stopped and looked up to see Gou standing off to the side by the wall. She hadn’t expected to see the other girl waiting for her here.“Hey, Gou,” she greeted half-heartedly. Her usual enthusiasm for seeing her was absent.Gou stepped away from the wall and came up beside her. She brought her hands up from behind her back and reached out to take one of Isuzu’s. “Come with me?” she asked.Isuzu looked from their clasped hands to Gou’s face. She wasn’t used to this kind of touch from Gou. “Okay,” she said.Her heartbeat quickened when Gou smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze before they took off. That was new.The walk was silent as Isuzu followed alongside Gou. She wasn’t sure where Gou was taking her but didn’t bother to ask. Even when Gou led her outside.They came to a stop under a large tree outside the stadium. Even with other people milling about in the surroundings, there was still a secluded feel to where they were. Like it was just the two of them and that’s all that mattered to Isuzu.Gou still hadn’t let go of her hand and Isuzu liked the gentle way Gou rubbed her thumb across her knuckles, grounding her at that moment.“You don’t have to keep all your emotions locked up inside,” Gou said, softly. “It’s okay to be disappointed or upset about your loss.”Gou’s simple words released the flood of emotions she didn’t realize she was holding back. Her body betrayed her as her vision began to blur and lips trembled.She lowered her head as she spoke, unable to face Gou in her weak moment. “I just thought I would make it – that I had what it takes to win here. But I still wasn’t enough.”Gou let go of her hand and Isuzu missed the contact until Gou embraced her.“Gou?” she questioned, caught off guard.Gou wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her in tight towards her. “One bad race doesn’t define you. Despite the results, you still made it to the final heat. Not everyone makes it that far. So, don’t say that you’re not enough, Isuzu.”Her words were kind but didn’t leave much room for Isuzu to argue. She buried her face into Gou’s shoulder and let out all her tears and frustrations.Time was irrelevant as they stood under the tree. Neither was in a rush to leave, which was fine with Isuzu. She didn’t want to pull away from Gou’s comforting embrace. It was soft and warm. Much nicer than muscles would have been.As Isuzu’s sobs eased, Gou asked, “Feel better?”Isuzu took a deep breath. “A little.”“Good.”Gou didn’t seem like she was in a hurry to end this and neither did Isuzu, but she slowly pulled away. She didn’t want to overstep any unsaid boundaries. They were just friends after all.“Sorry for crying so much,” she said as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket.“It’s okay. I’m quite used to seeing tears thanks to my brother.”Isuzu couldn’t hold back her laugh. She hadn’t spent much time around Gou’s older brother, but she’d heard stories about him being an easy crier.“Thanks, Gou. I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”“I’m always here if you need it.”The smile Gou gave her was too bright and Isuzu had to drop her gaze. She didn’t know how to explain the way her heart fluttered when Gou looked at her like that.“Uh, shouldn’t we head back inside to catch the other races?” Isuzu asked, kicking at a patch of grass.“Yeah, we probably should.”Despite agreeing, neither made the first move to leave.Gou tucked her hair behind her ear and held out her hand. “Come on.”Isuzu slowly reached out and took her hand.When they reached the stands, Isuzu didn’t bother rejoining the rest of her team and followed Gou over to the small Iwatobi section. If any of them noticed their clasped hands, they kept their comments to themselves. Which was probably for the best. Isuzu didn’t know how she’d explain because quite frankly, she didn’t know herself.All she knew was she wanted to keep holding Gou’s soft hand. She’d figured out what the butterflies in her stomach meant later.