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This is why his wife should never leave him alone with the kids...let alone their nieces and nephews to boot.
He’s currently outnumbered four to one. Their own two children, Neij’s son, and Itachi’s youngest daughter. The two Hyūga are attending a clan meeting, Tenten at work, and both his brother and sister-in-law absent for a diplomacy mission. Which means he’s been left with the task of babysitting.
Because gods know no one trusts Shisui to do it.
It starts innocently enough. He’s sat them all in front of the television with a movie - one of many Hinata left for him to bolster his arsenal of options. That lasts for all of twenty minutes before Itachi’s daughter - Reika, always a ridiculously-energetic little thing - declares herself bored. Which means her tag-along, Hinode (thankfully far more like his mother Tenten than his father Neji) follows.
His own pair remain seated, so Sasuke takes the risk of dividing his attention with a shadow clone to watch them, as his real body keeps an eye on the troublemakers.
“Can we give you a makeover?”
“...a what now?”
“Tōchan lets me do it!” Eyeing her uncle critically, she adds, “...but his hair is prettier than yours. It’s so looong!”
Sasuke just blinks blankly. They want to mess with his hair…?
“Got any ribbons, jichan?”
“...you want to put ribbons in my hair…?”
“Mhm! You’ll be super pretty!”
He wants to object to the notion of being pretty in the first place, but...well, maybe it’ll be worth the peace and quiet if they keep themselves busy enough. Sitting cross-legged, he lets them rummage through Hinata’s bag of goodies.
“Ooh, what about this one Hino-kun?”
“I dunno, it’s kinda...boring.”
“Whaaat? It’s got lace! It’s so cute!”
Sasuke’s uncovered dark eye twitches. That clan meeting can’t get over soon enough…
After their fair share of bickering, the pair get to work. Reika takes to humming loudly, dragging a brush rather crudely through her uncle’s hair. Hinode, on the other hand, busies himself (quite carefully, to Sasuke’s surprise) with various types of makeup...starting with a plum lipstick.
When the movie finally loses his own offsprings’ attention, they move into the same room with the clone...and all three give startled pauses. His son blinks wide eyes, daughter looking concerned, and the clone blanching.
...is it really that bad?
As if to answer, the bunshin dissipates, filling him in on all it saw. And...it isn’t pretty. Bright red rouge looks like a clown’s along his cheeks, lips are a deep purple, lone eye ringed in blue like some color-crazy tanuki.
“...are you two done yet?”
“Almost! Your hair needs to get longer, jichan - my braids are too short.”
Sasuke just sighs. He had no idea the gods would be so testing his patience today.
Ten minutes later the pair announce themselves finished. Grimacing as he’s handed a mirror, Sasuke takes in his visage. It hasn’t changed much in the front, but a few turns of his head reveals twin braids, each capped with fancy ribbons at their tails.
“See? See? You look so beautiful!”
“...I sure do,” he deadpans.
Much to his dismay, it’s then he hears the door open.
The four little ones rush to the entryway to greet Neji and Hinata, the latter of which asks where Sasuke is.
“Here.”
They all look over, and Reika immediately pouts. “Heeey! Where’d your makeover go?”
A plain-faced bunshin doesn’t reply. While his pride might survive his wife’s scrutiny...he’ll never live it down if Neji sees him.
“But you looked so good…” Hinode offers sadly as his father scoops him to his hip. Neji perks a brow, but...thankfully doesn’t ask. Instead, he thanks Sasuke for his time watching the boy before retreating.
“Reika, your parents and siblings won’t be back until later,” Hinata reminds the girl.
“That’s okay! We can do Sasu-jichan’s makeup again!”
The Hyūga mother blinks, jolting a bit as the bunshin pops. Through the vapor, from the other room, the real Sasuke walks back in.
Hinata openly gapes for a long moment, eyes flickering all over her husband’s face, disbelief clear on your own. “...what…?”
“Hinode and Reika wanted to give me a do-over.”
“Makeover!” his niece corrects him.
“...right.”
Lips drawing between her teeth as not to laugh, Hinata urges the three remaining children along. “...why don’t you all go wash up, and then we’ll make dinner, hm?”
They scamper off to do as they’re told, and Hinata closes the distance to Sasuke to get a better view. “...well, that’s certainly...a look,” is her offer, eyes glittering mischievously.
“Whatever you do, don’t tell
anyone
about this.”
“Oh, I won’t...but I can’t promise anything about your niece and nephew. Come on - I’ll help you get it off.”
Makeup, Sasuke soon learns, isn’t as easy to rid oneself of as something like dirt or blood. No, this takes a special soap, and plenty of scrubbing.
“I should have taken a picture first.”
“You would have forced me to break the camera.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Neither is bring drawn on, or having your hair yanked, by a couple of five-year-olds.”
“Well, no one died...unless you count your pride as a casualty. So, a pretty successful day, in my eyes.”
“Next time,
you
stay here, and
I’ll
go to the Hyūga clan meeting.”
“Not sure that would work.” Admiring his braids, Hinata can’t help but note,” Reika's getting very good at this. And what pretty ribbons!”
“Hn…”