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You accompanied Captain Pike and the rest of the landing party down to the Class M planetoid, the shuttle coasting leisurely through the troposphere. You looked out the window, the amber rays of the planet’s dual suns streaming in through the pod windows. Composite scans had indicated significant dilithium deposits on the surface, but interference from the planet’s core made it difficult to isolate them.You averted your eyes from the bright sunlight; much more potent at the moment as the shuttle grazed the clouds, approaching your determined landing site. Your eyes came to the tritanium slat flooring beneath you as you sat on the starboard bench, gripping the edge of the cool metal for stability. You shuffled your feet a few times, reflecting on why Christopher had asked you to come today. There were a multitude of better choices, you thought. Really, your performance lately had been pretty sub-par.The shuttle trembled as it coursed through turbulence; Captain Pike at the helm guiding it effortlessly through. You glanced over at him, the frown lines between his brows pronounced as his face hardened with concentration. You recognized that look of concentration… Your mind drifted to your recently advancing relationship with the Captain. It could never be anything serious, how could it be? He outranked you, and there were rules about such things…“[Y/N]!” Pike’s gruff tone cut through your thoughts, “You’re with me!” You realized you had been staring absentmindedly at the Captain for who knew how long. Hopefully he didn’t notice…You and Captain Pike teamed up to investigate a nearby shallow cave system for deposits. You walked across the pebbled ground of the pleasant landscape. This region had a temperate climate; shrubs and trees like you’d never before seen dotted the rock-laden hills. As you walked in silence, you felt Christopher’s eyes on you occasionally. He could tell something was up with you. You’d been avoiding him lately, and he was worried about you.He was good at reading people, you especially, and even more so now that you had grown closer. As much as you tried to keep yourself together, to put on a façade that everything was okay, Christopher could tell that there was trouble brewing in your depths. He narrowed his eyes at you, wondering how to bring it up. He had decided he would wait for the right moment. Having you as his partner on this trek was a calculated move.The two of you hiked through a gathering of trees, the ground wrought with an aged, twisted root system. You tried to navigate the gnarled mess, your feet jumping to and fro, but suddenly you lost your balance. You toppled backwards, seeing the clear sky above enter your field of view. Strong hands gripped your shoulders and you felt yourself being gently lowered in Christopher’s arms. He squeezed you reassuringly, smiling down at you. “You alright there, [Y/N]?” he asked, always the concerned gentleman.“Yes… Yes, I’m fine, thank you,” you said a little too shortly, feeling your cheeks flush. Any coordination you’d ever possessed seemed to have left you today. Of all days, why today? Just get this over with… Really, you should have been happy to get off the ship for a while. You had joined Starfleet to explore the cosmos, the wonders of the universe. And here you were, standing on a wonder! What humans had ever been here before you? With no sentient life on the planetoid, you were what, one of four beings to ever see it in this way?“Here we are! Look at that! What a view!” the Captain stated pleasantly, placing his hands on his hips and looking out across the landscape. His usually contagious good mood was just not virulent enough today. You seemed impervious to his attempts to cheer you up.The two of you stood by the large mouth to the cave system, the otherworldly rock gleaming with an azure luminescence. Your eyes scanned the hills around you, the sunbeams dancing on the exposed rock, it’s metallic properties reflecting the midday rays. You sighed, maybe a little too loudly, and turned to the cave’s entrance. You pulled out your tricorder and began scanning ahead of you.“No biosigns. Dilithium readings are still inconclusive.” You looked up at Christopher, who was gazing curiously at you. He nodded, his hand coming to the phaser at his hip. He pulled it out, holding it at the ready.“Nothing shows up, but it’s better to be safe than sorry,” he recited. The man loved his clichés. You didn’t mind, they only added to his charm. You felt the twinge of a smile on your lips but fought it off.You pulled out your phaser and held it in front of you, the tricorder in your other hand. The two of you entered the cave in tandem, the flashlights attached to your phasers illuminating the area, the natural light fading as you advanced. The cave was made of the same rock you’d seen on the exterior. It shone with a pearlescent blue as your lights swept the sizable interior of the formation.You were jittery; you weren’t sure why. You hadn’t been sleeping so well lately, maybe that was it. Or maybe it was the multiple cups of coffee you’d had this morning. Things just hadn’t been going well lately. You had things going on back home that you couldn’t be there for. You knew your family understood, you were lightyears upon lightyears away, and they had always supported your dream of mapping the stars, the worlds beyond your own. But your heart ached, and the recent missions had taken their toll on you. Bit by bit, weight had been deposited onto your shoulders, and today it felt like you were sinking.Suddenly, a howl at the cave’s entrance caused your instincts to kick in. The sound was merely the wind playing the acoustics of the cave’s opening. You spun around, your phaser aimed in the direction of the resonance. Your hands trembled slightly as your adrenaline spiked, and you finger gripped the trigger just a little too tightly. A burst of rapid nadions streamed from your weapon, directed at the cave entrance. The pulse hit the strange rock just above the opening, and reacted in a way you never could have anticipated.The mineral deposit absorbed the potent energy, cascading across it like fire, the rock glowing with bright blue veins. It crumbled along the veins, the rock face collapsing, bringing the entire cave entrance down in front of you. Luckily, the energy dissipated quickly, not being enough to bring the entire cave down. Just your way out. Of course.You felt something hit you in the head; shooting pain erupted near your temple. Captain Pike grabbed you, his protective instincts and years of experience kicking in. He pushing you out of harm’s way, crouching over you, shielding you as the remainder of the rubble dropped from above. Finally, it seemed to have finished, and he came away from you, coughing slightly as the particulates in the air settled. Hopefully there was nothing toxic about this stuff.Christopher picked up his phaser, detaching the light and using it to scan you and the surrounding area. The way out was completely blocked, the way ahead dark and ominous. Bright red blood streamed from your head; the falling debris had left a sizeable gash but it looked like it was only a surface wound.Once he was satisfied that the two of you were safe for the moment, the Captain assisted you to sit on the ground, your back against the rock wall. You were wearing the field kit across your shoulder. He carefully slid the strap down your arm and off of you, laying it on the ground in front of him and opening it.“Chris… Captain… I’m so sorry…,” you started to apologize, feeling just awful at what had happened, cursing your over-zealous nerves. Christopher stopped you.“[Y/N], it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Let’s just get you fixed up, shall we?” he said, his tone sincere, he didn’t seem angry. He couldn’t be angry with you. And, it was an accident, you were only humanoid after all.You gazed apprehensively up at the Captain, met only with his warm smile as he pulled a compact lightstick out of the pack and activated it. Harsh white light erupted from it, illuminating the area around the two of you. Glittering blue rock shimmered beautifully all around, the remaining particles in the air sparkling like diamonds. It was breathtaking.All Captain Pike could see right now, though, was you in front of him, the crimson blood streaming down your cheek a stark contrast to the shimmering blue of your captive environment. You winced as he applied biogel to the wound, the bleeding ceasing within seconds as it bound with the proteins in your blood. An analgesic compound in the gel numbed the area, and you felt the pain subside rapidly. Captain Pike took his jacket off, using it to wipe some of the blood from your cheek and ear.“That should do it,” he reported, smiling reassuringly at you. You gave him a weak smile back. The Captain pulled out his communicator, trying to reach the rest of the landing party. No response. The rock formations were interfering with communication. It was okay, they knew which way you’d gone; they would find you eventually.The pit in your stomach was growing. This was all your fault. You really couldn’t do anything right today at all.You felt tears start to brim your eyes, the sting of fresh pain welling up inside of you. You’d been holding this in for ages now, it felt like, and you couldn’t do it any longer. You looked away from Christopher, ashamed of losing your composure at a time like this. He noticed your expression, your lips trembling and your eyes shining in the white glow.His fingers came to your chin and he gently pulled your gaze back to him. “[Y/N]… What’s wrong?” he said with sincere concern. He hated to see you hurt, physically and in whatever anguish you were experiencing otherwise.You couldn’t hold it in any longer. Tears fell down your cheeks, your hands coming to your face as you sobbed into them, a string of incoherent sentences escaping your mouth as you tried to communicate your pain to Christopher. He could make out enough, and more than anything he knew that you needed him.He sat down with you, his hands gently prodding you to move forward so he could sit down behind you. He rested his back against the cave wall, bringing you to sit between his outstretched legs, his hands coming to your outer arms, which he rubbed up and down slowly. You weren’t going to push him away, not now, not when you needed him so badly.Christopher let you cry, his face nuzzling sweetly into your shoulder occasionally, his hands tracing with reaffirming pressure up and down your arms. You focused on his touch, letting it soothe you slowly as the two of you sat in silence. Your tears began to subside, your busy mind finally subdued by his calming presence. His voice in your ear was soft and empathetic.“I know you’ve been having a rough time lately. Whatever happens, you can talk to me. I’m here for you,” he breathed, his hand coming to your shoulder. He brushed some of your hair away, placing his lips firmly onto the warm skin near the back of your neck. He kissed you sweetly, sending a transmission of comfort and caring coursing through you. You felt the electricity of his kiss, the warmth behind it. He had such a big heart, and he was always willing to open it when you needed him.You closed your eyes, gathering yourself and your thoughts for a moment as you felt your heart rate returning to normal. “I just feel… Burnt out, lately. This weight. I miss Earth,” you stated, your voice cracking at your last statement as a twinge of longing clawed at your chest.“I know… So do I. I feel it too,” he stated, his voice a whisper in your ear, his breath hot on the back of your neck. He waited for you to continue.“I feel like I can’t do anything right. Today, every day. All I ever wanted was to join Starfleet, and now all I want is to go home,” you whispered to him.Christopher felt your pain, as he too had been struggling lately. His mission had taken its toll, and he felt fragmented since his return. His hands came to your shoulders, his fingers working gently into your tense muscles. You took a deep breath, feeling sweet release as he worked out your knots, his movements slow and precise. Each knot he worked through felt like a strand of negativity you could finally let go of, sending it back into the void of the universe; the spark of peace and positivity he brought out in you taking its place.He didn’t need to say anything in particular to you. His comforting, non-judgmental presence was just what you needed. The unspoken knowledge between you that you shared similar doubts, similar pain; the impossibly high standards you held yourselves to feeling like a crushing weight at times. The spark of hope he gave you continued to course through your body, and you felt your mind shift a bit.Thoughts of the reason you had joined Starfleet in the first place came to mind. Your dreams of the endless possibilities that awaited you, the things you had already achieved, seen, survived. You were capable, you were compassionate, and you had so much to offer the universe.Christopher’s hands halted as he leaned into your neck again, whispering softly in your ear, “You will get through this. We both will. I believe in you.” He kissed your ear, his nose nuzzling into your neck as he held you tightly, filling you with peace. You didn’t have to be perfect around him. He saw you, all of you, and he knew that you had flaws, fears, doubts. So did he, and he would never claim to not struggle with the demands life brings.You felt your mind easing, shifting to more positive thought patterns now that you had allowed yourself to be unburdened. You realized that peace, that positivity, was always there, really. You just had to listen for it.
