Work Text
September 1 2008Now that I am in third grade Mom got me a journal to practice my spelling. I go to Liberty Elementary School with my friends Bryce Marcus and Clay and we play football together. When I am older I will play college football and get a scolar ship which is free money.Today was the first day. Our teacher is Miss Nygaard. Nobody will read this book but me, and I’m going to write down all the gossip I hear about my friends.
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September 2 2008Justin smells bad! Justin smells bad and his mom is weird. Bryce kissed Courtney even though she said no. Courtney’s parents are homos. And I forgot Justin steals pencils from Miss Nygaard.
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September 4 2008I shared my lunch with Justin because he forgot it at home. Then Mom bought me a Frosty for being a good friend. Tomorrow is Friday. Clay is coming over to play on the Wii.
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September 5 2008Clay sucks at Mario Kart. Sometimes if we want to pick on him we say we’ll squish him like clay or we call him Mud instead of Clay. And if we want to pick on Marcus we call him Marcus Uncooley. And we call Bryce Richie Rich because he’s spoiled.
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September 10 2008Skye is creepy because when she gets mad or sad she stabs her arm with a pencil. I saw it bleed once. Gross! Everyone knows about it and Miss Nygaard saw it once. She took the pencil away and told her to stop.
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September 12 2008Yesterday we had a moment of silence for 9/11. It happened when I was a baby. Someone crashed a plane into a building and a lot of people died.
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September 15 2008Tyler went peeking in the girls bathroom! He saw a fifth grader putting tissues in her bra!
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September 24 2008Today we got in trouble for saying that Courtney is a homo like her dads. Dad had a talk with me about how gay people are boys who like boys and we should accept them. I want to be gay because if I had a wife she would paint the house pink.
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September 30 2008I apologized to Courtney today and gave her a lollipop. Also Bryce kissed Nina and Jessica and made them cry. And Marcus laughed and chased them. Then we played football.
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October 2 I think I like baseball more than football. I’m going to ask if I can join Little League. I’ll still play football with Richie Rich, Uncooley and Mud during recess.
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October 5 2008I don’t know what to be for Halloween. I think I want to be Babe Ruth. Bryce is going to be Bill Cosby and hand out jello to everyone. Marcus is going to be a Power Ranger. And Clay will be a ninja. Tyler doesn’t need a costume he’s already creepy.
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October 13 2008I am so scared that Tyler will come after me. I snitched on him for peeking in the girls’ bathroom once before and for bringing a BB gun to school to shoot fifth graders for not letting us play on the playground. Now he has detention for two days and his mom took away his Xbox.
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October 20 2008Tyler wrote the F word and the A word on my desk. I didn’t snitch but Bryce did.
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October 22 2008Mom almost found my gossip journal! Oh no! Thankfully she didn’t read anything. By the way I won a baseball game today. And Bryce got a new nanny.
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October 31 2008We are having a party at Bryce’s house. Bryce’s house is big because his parents are loaded. It’s awesome that his parents are never home and his nanny lets him do whatever he wants. My parents don’t let me drink soda because it’s unhealthy but I get it at the Walker house.
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October 3 2008I think Clay and Skye like each other! He gave her some of his candy. Clay has a girlfriend! Clay has a girlfriend! I’m going to tell Bryce and Marcus!!Clay and Skye! Sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!
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October 5 2008Ewww!!! Skye scratched her leg so hard it was bleeding yesterday and today she pulled the scab off!!! Why does Clay like her????!!!!
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November 6 2008 Alex went to the hospital today for throwing up in school. Miss Nygaard got a call from his parents saying that he ate a bunch of pills from their medicine cabinet because he thought it was candy.
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November 10 2008Today Courtney called Skye a crybaby because she cries a lot during school and recess. So Skye called Courtney a chink because she is Asian. Then they both had to stay inside for recess.
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November 13 2008Alex came back. He told me that they fed him coal to make him throw up. He told me he was sad because he didn’t spend enough time with his grandmother before she died.
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November 16 2008Today in church we met the new priest. His name is Father Sanchez and he speaks in Spanish sometimes because his English is bad. He told us the story of the tower of Babel in which everyone started speaking different languages. We did a prayer to thank God for helping Alex get better and to ask him to send Mrs Standall’s mom to heaven.
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18 November 2008Kids picked on Justin because he had no lunch so then Bryce stole some Twinkies and gave them to him. Then they went to swim in the pool at Bryce’s house.
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November 25, 2008We were reading Great Body Shop books today. It said "sometimes babies get into the medicine cabinet and die because they think it's candy" and then everyone laughed and said Alex is a baby.
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27 November 2008Today is Thanksgiving and because I am a big kid I get to sit at the grownups table. Now I don’t have to sit with my annoying baby cousins. They eat all the sugar and candy and then get hyper and run everywhere. They act so retarded. Speaking of retarded Bryce called Tyler “Down Syndrome” because he acts like a retard and his last name is Down. He came up with it last week.
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December 1 2008We learned a new word today. Today Alex readed a book called Chicken Soup for the Soul and it was about someones dad dying. He asked the teacher what suside means and she said it means someone dying on purpose and said it means someone is bad and selfish and then Alex cried. Bryce called Alex a crybaby and a retard for not knowing what a word meant. He knows a lot of bad words because he watches R rated movies and he told me he watched a movie on the internet where there were naked people. He said there are no naked people our age on the internet but they are like 20 and they wear kids clothes.
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December 17 2008Mom said I will get less presents this year because of something called a reseshun which stole money from people.
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December 20 2008I went to Bryce’s house and he showed me a video where there were naked people wrestling and the naked lady screamed and the naked guy hit her even though you cant hit girls. Ewww I saw her boobs
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December 24 2008Today I get to stay up until midnight! But I have to go to church not to a party. It is boring but we get to stay up until midnight! Alex told me a secret. He told me that he ate the medisin on purpose because he wanted to go to heaven with his grandma and when you die you don’t feel sad. He told me and he said he is not supposed to tell anyone but he does not want people to make fun of him anymore by saying that he is stupid and thought it was candy.
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1 January 2009Today is New Year’s Day! We have to make a resolution which is something you have to do this year. I will get all A’s on my report card and Clay will learn how to play the guitar. Skye will stop biting her nails and hands and Bryce will stop getting time outs.
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2 January 2009Courtney told me that she wants to learn about Chinese people because she is one even though her parents are not. She said that on January 26 there is another New Year party just for Chinese people. She is learning how to cook Chinese food like dumplings and tofu.
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9 January 2009Zach and Courtney had a fight today. Zach said that Courtney is not really Chinese because her parents are not and she was adopted. Courtney cried and Zach said sorry. Zach asked Courtney to come over to have a party on Chinese New Year. Also Clay offered to help me with my homework in exchange for showing him how to play basketball. I think he wants to impress Skye.
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13 January 2009Today Jessica tattled on Bryce because he chased her, Skye and Nina around and tried to kiss them. The supervisor said “that’s because he likes you” and laughed. Eww Bryce likes girls. I would never like girls. Courtney said that kissing boys is gross.
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January 20, 2009Today we got a new President. His name is Barack Obama. Nina, Jessica and Marcus are happy because he’s the first black president. They were running and yelling “Black in the White House!” Jessica said he is half black and half white like her. Courtney, Zach and Yuan-hui, Elizabeth and Ryota (they are fourth graders) said that they wonder when the first Asian president will be elected.
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January 23, 2009Today it is Justin’s birthday. His mom is not feeling well so Bryce is having a party for him. Bryce said that there will be lots of sugar and junk food and that they will watch R rated movies but not to tell anyone. Also I learned a new word today. It is fuck you and it’s something you say when you are mad at someone.
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January 24, 2009Yesterday at the party, Bryce grabbed Jessica’s boobs. He said she asked for it because she is the only one in our grade who has boobs. Jessica started crying and hit Bryce with the pool noodle. She went home early and Bryce told her not to be such a baby.
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January 27, 2009Today we read a book about safety. It was about how we should keep our cleaning stuff and our medicines locked away. It said that we’re all big kids and we are smart enough to know the difference but little kids might think that it’s candy. It said that the little kids are not smart enough and they don’t know how to read. Everyone stared at Alex and laughed. Some people said that Alex is a baby and he doesn’t know how to read. Miss Nygaard told them they will get a time out.
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January 28, 2009Today Alex told everyone that he ate the candy on purpose and he is not a baby who doesn’t know how to read.
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January 29, 2009Today I told my parents that Alex ate the candy on purpose. They said that innocent kids don’t do that. They said Alex is a dark person and I shouldn’t play with him anymore.
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January 30, 2009Today I played with Alex even though I am not supposed to. But I could not invite him to my house. I didn’t tell him why and just said I can’t have guests over.
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February 1, 2009Today I heard my mom talking to Clay’s mom on the phone and she sounded upset. Also I went to the park and played baseball. I hope I am allowed to invite Alex over again soon.
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February 3, 2009Today Skye got an iPod for her birthday. It is so cool, it has as many songs as 50 CDs and it is so small it can fit in her pocket.
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February 5, 2009I learned a new bad word today and it starts with an N. Tyler called Marcus it because he cut in line. Then Tyler got in trouble. He was sent home early.
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February 7, 2009Tyler is always in trouble. I remember Justin got in trouble a lot in kindergarten because when I sang that Trick or Treat song that said “I’ll pull down your underwear,” he punched me in the face. Then other kids started following him and saying “I’ll pull down your underwear.”
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February 10, 2009Today everyone was playing and Alex was sitting in the corner by himself.
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February 14, 2009Father Sanchez told us about Saint Valentine who Valentine’s Day is named after. He was murdered by the Romans. After church Bryce said that Alex is going to hell. Father Sanchez heard and said that Bryce should be nice to Alex. He told us about how Jesus said if you have not sinned cast the first stone. That means that everyone except Jesus and Mary sinned, so we can’t judge other people.
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February 15, 2009 I am the only one who talks to Alex on the playground. He told me that he went to confession yesterday and told Father Sanchez about how he killed himself with his mom’s medicine. He said that Father Sanchez gave him a card with the names of doctors who can help him, and he said that he should give it to his parents and tell them he wants to go there. Mr. Standall said that Father Sanchez is overreacting and threw the card away.
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February 17, 2009Today I am eating hamburgers for lunch. I am going to eat them every day because next week we can’t have any more. Today Tyler got caught peeking in the girls’ bathroom again.
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February 23, 2009Today is Fat Tuesday. Bryce said “for Skye it’s just called Tuesday because she’s already fat” and she cried. Bryce got in trouble.
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24 February 2009Courtney called Skye an emo but I don’t know what that means.