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As with most of Bones problems, it starts with Jim. If only he could actually blame him for this one. He knew Jim’s lack of filter would get him into trouble, he just expected that trouble to be physical, with people who were annoyed by his attitude and antagonizing words. The problem is…Jim has a different sort of lack of filter when he is around him. 5He didn’t recognize the problem as even being a problem until Jim got into his first fight at academy. He lasted longer than Bones thought he would, almost the full first year. Some of the older cadets didn’t much like Jim doing better than them in the advanced class and Jim just had to prod at them. Of course, Jim also had to run into them at the bar later that evening. He woke to a quiet but insistent knock at his door. Bones groaned but still levered himself up to see who would be bothering him at 3 in the morning. Opening the door left him facing…nothing, then he felt a touch at his ankle and he looks down to see the bloody face of a drunk Jim. “Heey Bones! Your ‘re wake!!” Jim slurred.“Why are you lying in a bloody heap in front of my door, Jim?” Bones asked with a sigh. “Listened Bonessss, It t’wasn’t my fault! The’ are just insecure because I am better than them,” Jim answers with a bloody smirk. “Uh-huh, they were better at beating you to a bloody pulp so they have that going for them.” Bones replied exasperated, “What’s all this got to do with you waking me up at this ungodly hour?”“Booonnneees! Don’t be meanie and please help me out? ‘m cold sitting here.” Jim looked up at him, eyes pleading. With a heavy sigh, Bones heaved Jim up off the ground and dragged him into the bathroom, propping him up on the toilet. It was slow going, with Jim tripping over his own feet, and when he was finally sitting, he was swaying dangerously for a bit and Bones was worried he was going to topple right over. “Just sit still okay? Let me know if you are going to puke while I try and rescue what’s left of your face.” Jim sat swaying while Bones got a cloth to start dabbing up the blood and get a better picture of his injuries. Bones watched him carefully while the water was warming up, worried about the amount of blood on his face and hoping there wouldn’t be a concussion to deal with too. The bathroom was quiet apart from the sound of the running water. Jim had zoned out in the silence and when Bones reached for his face with the wet cloth he flinched right before it could make contact. Bones immediately pulled his hand away and stared critically at Jim, but before he could even open his mouth to say something Jim took an audibly deep breath. Unwilling to meet his eyes, Jim apologized softly and told Bones to continue. Bones was slow in his approach this time around and saw Jim’s shoulders relax from up around his ears at the first gentle press of the wet cloth to his cheek. After a few minutes, Jim looked up and started staring at him intensely while Bones washed his face, it was beginning to make Bones feel a little discomfited. “Hey Bones,” Jim starts softy, “You have such nice hands, did you know that? They are so gentle, it hasn’t hurt at all. How do you make it not hurt?” Bones startles at the broken silence and meets his eyes from where he had been leaning close to his cheek inspecting a cut. “What?” Bones asks, because there is no way he heard that correctly. “You have nice hands. It always hurt when he would do it. Is it a doctor thing or is it a you thing?” At the drunken earnestness in Jim’s eyes he finds himself flushed and warm.“Stop rambling kid you are making my job harder,” Bones replied, holding that information for later. Jim was drunk, Bones didn’t want him sharing anything he wasn’t ready for. “M’kay Bones, whatever you say, doctor knows best and all that,” Jim responded with a lopsided smile. He finished cleaning up his face and, seeing nothing too serious, taped him up and dumped him onto the couch. As he lay in bed listening to the soft sounds of Jim breathing he kept replaying what Jim let slip. What did he mean by it hurting, and who he was referring to. 4 When he woke up the next day, he decided he might as well make a real breakfast if Jim was here, make sure he actually eats something. He had just pulled the last piece of bacon out of the pan when Jim walked up holding his head in his hand. “Morning princess, sleep well?” Bones asked with a slight twitch of his lips in a smile. Jim just groaned in response while snagging a piece of bacon.“Damn Bones you made it exactly how I like it. You are so good at everything! I’ve known you for almost a year and the only thing you can’t seem to do is wash your dishes.” Bones gave an indigent “hey!” at the insinuation. Jim just laughed and just as earnestly as last night said, “Seriously Bones, you are amazing. I don’t know what I would have done here without you.” That earnestness was new and left Bones flustered about how to respond. Luckily he was saved from having to answer when Jim went to grab more bacon and Bones swatted his hand away. “Not before you have some eggs and fruit.” “Okay okay!” Jim smiled softly and backed away, allowing himself to be pushed into a seat and given a plate of food. Bones turned away to start cleaning up until he noticed the silence. He turned to look back at Jim and saw him staring at his plate with a sad sort of bafflement. “You okay Jim?” Bones asked, voice wary. Jim startled, looking up at Bones and flashing a smile that dimmed almost immediately, peaking Bones’ worry. “Yeah! Yeah, just... You really did make it exactly the way I like it.” Bones regarded him carefully, sensing there was more to it than just the food. “Well, yeah, course I did. Not going to feed you something you don’t like, that’s not a way to make you eat.” Jim just keeps looking at him with a confused expression and Bones reflects on last night, about the him he mentioned. “Eat Jim,” he said gently ruffling his hair, noting that this time he didn’t flinch away from the touch, instead seeming to lean into it. Jim carefully took a bite and smiled softly up at Bones. “You are a really good cook Bones.” Bones couldn’t stop the warm flush at the quiet way Jim said that so he huffed and turned away to continue cleaning, in fact doing his dishes, thank you very much. 3Bones noticed that whenever Jim really needed to study he would find his way into his room. He would show up in a flurry with a bag of materials over his shoulder, plop himself down without even a how you do onto the floor in front of the coffee table and set to work. He was always quiet on these occasions, so Bones never made more than a token protest and would just enjoy the company. It was before the last final of the year. Jim was frantic because the professor was blatant in their dislike for him. He was once again sitting on the floor of his room in front of the coffee table, getting increasingly agitated as he was writing his final paper. Kept writing then re-writing and getting twitchy, constantly running his hands through his hair and gripping it in frustration. Bones was just sitting at his desk getting distracted from his own work watching it all play out in front of him. After staring at Jim for a good 15 minutes, Bones curiosity got the better of him. “Hey Jim”, Bones called out. Jim just hummed distractedly in response. “Why don’t you work on this paper with other people in your class, surely that would go better. They might have some actual ideas for you.”“I just can’t focus” Jim said distractedly. “... Okay? So write it somewhere else” Bones said with confusion heavy in his tone.“No! No, I mean I can’t focus with other people around me,” Jim snapped, frustrated. Bones sighed exasperatedly, “Then write the damn paper in your own room and take your anxious energy with you.”That got Jim’s attention and he looked up eyes wide, “What? No! That’s not what I meant at all! Please don’t make me leave, I need to be here to get this done.” Bones searched Jim’s face and took in his pleading expression and tense shoulders. “I’m not making you go anywhere, kid, so calm down already.” Bones responded quickly.Jim deflated like a balloon and he sounded so relieved when he quietly responded, “Thank you Bones.”“So you can’t focus with other people... But you need to be here, in my room, with me, to be able to write your paper,” Bones says prodding for an actual answer. Jim looked at him then looked away, pink dusting his cheeks in a actual, honest to goodness, blush. He was nervous Bones realized, and embarrassed, about wanting to study with him? That couldn’t be right though, he got the sense that once again there was more to it than just that. Jim mumbled something under his breath. “What was that?” Bones prodded.“I said that I find your room peaceful,” Jim said, blush more intense. “What makes my room more peaceful than yours or anywhere else?” Bones knew he was being kinda an ass by pushing when Jim was obviously feeling unusually bashful but damn he was curious. Jim seemed to catch on that the subject wasn’t going to get dropped and let out an extra loud sigh. “I like the way you keep your room. You manage to have a lot of personal things but it’s still really organized. I grew up with a house that was always a bit of... Well more than a bit of a mess, and my own room tends to be the same. I don’t know, I just always feel the calm, focused vibe you give off when you study just being here, and it helps me stay motivated.” The honest confession really threw off Bones’ rhythm, he was expecting to have to prod a lot more. Instead, he is left once again on the receiving end of a truly honest Jim and a bluntness that always leaves him feeling just slightly off balance. “Well, stay as long as you want to get that done. You can take the couch tonight too if you want to stay.” At that Jim looked up quickly, shock clear on his face. He was still tense as he stared intensely at Bones, it seemed he found the confirmation he needed when he just deflated and his lips quirked up into a soft smile. “Thanks Bones.” Bones looked away before his own blush could be seen. “No problem, kid.”
2Bones felt uncomfortable. He felt even more uncomfortable once he realized the reason was the lack of Jim in his room. Since when did he get so used to having Jim in his space to the point he was uncomfortable with the silence? When his comm garnered no response, the discomfort turned to worry. Kid is attached to his comm like an implant. He got up and stood in front of his door, shifting in indecision before the worry took over and he went to check on him. He was thankful he knew all of Jim’s codes when knocking failed to get any kind of response. The room was dark and, at first, he thought Jim wasn’t actually in and this whole expedition had been for naught. Then, he heard a wheezing cough come from a pile of blankets on the bed. Ah, so that was the situation then. He was a little baffled though, he comes to complain to him about everything so what made this different. He softly padded over to the sad lump on the bed and pulled the blankets off Jim’s head. He was met with a flushed and miserable looking face, fretfully sleeping. A hand to his forehead confirms Bones thoughts, a fever, and it feels like a bad one. At his touch the sad little bundle stirred and let out a quiet groan. Bones met sleepy and confused eyes and gave him a soft smile. “Hey there, contagion. Were you gonna let me know you were sick? What good is a doctor if you don’t pay them a visit”“Sorry Bones, didn’t wanna bother you,” Jim replied weakly. He really didn’t sound good. “Mmhmm sure, if that was the case you wouldn’t be around me 24/7 on the daily now would you?” Bones responded as he went to get up from where he was seated on the bed. A quick hand and a weak grip prevented him from getting far though. “Don’ go, please?” Jim implored. Then seemed to catch himself and released his grip. “Sorry, you’re probably busy, I’ll be fine.”“I’m not going far, just going to get you something for that fever of yours. I will be right back,” Bones responded knowingly. He had finally pried information about Jim’s uncle from him a few months back and he vowed to never let Jim feel like that again. When Bones returned with a cold pack and medication he found him sleeping again, though very fitfully. Whatever dreams that fever of his brought, it was nothing good. He put the supplies down on the side table and sat next to him again to wake him back up. “Hey Jim, it’s just a bad dream, c’mon, wake up for me now. Let’s see about getting some meds into you and bringing that fever down, yeah?” He said while carding his fingers through Jim’s hair. Once Jim trusted he wasn’t going to hurt him, he soaked up any touch from Bones he could get, and Bones, recognizing the unspoken need from Jim, readily gave it. As he was talking, the twitching finally started to ease along with his breath. He was pleased to see Jim’s eyes looking up at him once more, though saddened when Jim’s expression turned to confusion. “You didn’t leave,” Jim quietly stated, the undertone of awe and disbelief almost breaking Bones heart. “Nah Kid, I’m here to stay,” Bones responded just as quietly, meaning far more than just this moment. At the gathering of tears in Jim’s eyes, he knew the significance of those words came across. “Lets get that fever taken care of, c’mon, sit up for me and take some meds”With a little help, Jim took his meds and Bones got him settled back into his nest of blankets with the cold pack against the back of his neck. He sat against the headboard and kept his hand on Jim’s head as he tried to go back to sleep. Bones heard a quiet intake of breath like the start of a question, then nothing. He looked down at Jim, seeing another new expression on his face. He’s never known Jim to be shy before. “Out with it kid, what’s on your mind?”Jim looked up at him, obviously unsure, but at Bones insistence, he quietly mumbled something into the blankets. “I couldn’t hear that, stop mumbling. What do you want?” Bones prodded. “Could... Could you talk to me? That’s the other reason I like studying at yours... You always read your work out loud and it’s very soothing to listen to. Sorry, if that’s too weird you don’t have to,” Jim hurried out, shoulders tensing and body curling up tighter with each word. “Did I ever tell you about the intern that misplaced an entire cart full of hyposprays?” Bones asked, cheeks warm from Jim’s honesty. At the question, Jim immediately relaxed and let out a quiet no. Bones continued to regale him with stories about the hospital until he finally hears a soft snore. He looked down and saw Jim finally, peacefully, fast asleep with his forehead pressed against Bones hip. He promised he wouldn’t leave, so he just leans back with a sigh and settles in for a nap himself.
1Jim wasn’t sleeping. Oh sure, he had everyone else fooled into thinking everything was just fine, just like usual, but Bones knew him too well. His smile was forced and didn’t reach his eyes, nevermind the dark circles he seems to think he can just pretend aren’t there. He also kept nodding off in lectures, which was a pretty bright neon sign, especially when the person he keeps leaning into is him. Jim wasn’t sleeping, now he just needs to figure out why. Jim was being evasive. It has been three days since he noticed Jim’s lack of sleep, and so far any attempt at learning the reason was brushed off, laughed off, or blatantly avoided by urgent matters, I got to go Bones. Sorry, I’ll catch you later. He was beginning to get frustrated, if he heard one more “I’m fine Bones! You worry too much” out of him he was going to have to tie him down to the bed and make him sleep. So he played it cool, he let Jim think he had given up. This was his last attempt at being civil about asking this stubborn man just what the problem was. Course, not asking turned out to be just the thing to do though when while studying on the couch together he feels the warm, heavy weight of Jim fall heavy into his side. This kid, well, at least he’s sleeping. He continues reading his journal when Jim’s weight presses more firmly against him, Jim’s fingers twitching and face pushing into his shoulder. He looks uncomfortable like this. Bones sighs and stretches out along the length of the couch and pulls Jim down with him tucked between him and the back of the couch to continue reading. With just a light snuffling sound, Jim settles right back into sleeping. Bones stares at him fondly for a moment before pickup up where he left off on his padd. Bones startles awake, disoriented at being on the couch and finding it somehow late evening. He is confused about what woke him up, when he gets an elbow in his ribs. With a grunt he looks down to see Jim twitching, face scrunched up and hands grasping his shirt. He starts shushing him and rubbing his back until his breathing evens out. With a shuddering breath, Jim buries his face into Bones shoulder. They lie like that for some length of time, Jim just breathing and Bones rubbing his back. Finally, right as Bones gears up to ask, Jim sucks in a deep breath and his grip on Bones shirt tightens. “Sorry, I… This is a really rough time of year for me. I didn’t want you to have to see this, you always get the worst of me,” Jim mumbled quietly into Bones chest. Bones let out a long breath, pausing to mule over his words. “You don’t have to tell me,” Bones said carefully, “but I have been worried about you. You aren’t a burden to me. I am an adult, if I didn’t want to help you with these things, I wouldn’t. So don’t stop on account of me.”Jim pressed his face harder into Bones chest and just laid there breathing for a second, seemingly bolstering himself up. “Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day they rescued the survivors from Tarsus IV. I... Was one of the few that made it off.” Jim whispered, fingers trembling where they gripped Bones shirt. “When the date comes around I can’t help but think about it... How lucky I was to survive. How many that didn’t…. How many that should have.” At that admission, Bones wrapped him up in his arms and pulled him in tight, as though to protect him from the memories. When it was obvious Jim wasn’t going to continue, he resumed rubbing his back and pressed his face into Jim’s hair. “Thank you for telling me kid, I can’t begin to know what it was like or what you are going through, but whatever you need from me, I will give to help you through this.”Jim continued to lie still on his chest in silence for a while longer. Every couple of minutes he would suck in a breath as though to say something then stay quiet. Finally, he looked up at Bones for the first time that night. “Can... I just stay like this for a little longer? You... God, this is embarrassing, and you can say no, but... I like the way you smell.” Jim said, blush painting his cheeks very pink. “It’s... Comforting, familiar.”Bones just tucked his face back against his chest with a firm grip on his neck, “Stay like this as long as you need, I don’t have anywhere I gotta be till tomorrow,” happy his own blush wouldn’t be seen. Jim’s hands finally relaxed, he pushed his face back into Bones chest and within 5 minutes was back asleep. Bones fell asleep not long after. In the morning, Jim was finally looking more rested than he had in the last week. Bones watched pleased at the relaxed air that was back to surrounding him. When Jim made it to the door to head to his morning class, Bones called out to him. When Jim turned to face him he was hit in the face with Bones University of Mississippi hoodie. “It’s cold out this morning,” Bones just said casually. Jim gave him a soft smile, putting it on and pulling the hood up around his face, burying his face into the material. He didn’t go anywhere without it for the next week much to the pleasure of the gossip circles around academy. +1 Bones was pacing in the transporter room. Damn kid got himself captured. Again. He promised to be more careful after the last 3 times but that foolhardy stubborn bastard just had to go on all these missions himself, and then trade himself for the rest of the away team. The away team who were already released from med bay. It’s been too long, why is it taking so long to get him back. Right as he was about to snap at the others in the room for the hundredth time, the sound of the transporter had him spinning around and striding toward the emerging figures. Jim was standing next to Spock with a wide smile. “Bones! Did you miss me? I hope you missed me, I missed you. You have your worry wrinkle, I’m fine!” Bones looked to Spock when it seemed like answers weren’t going to be forthcoming from the man of the hour himself. “It seems as though they dosed the captain with some sort of drug that lowers his inhibitions,” Spock answered the unspoken question. “Otherwise, the captain seems unharmed, they seemed to believe that would be all they would need. He is in otherwise good health.”“Good health,” Bones scoffed, “‘I’ll be the judge of that.” When he turned back to Jim, it was to gain an armful of the man who proceeded to bury his face into his neck. He tensed up at the surprise hug then sighed and hugged him back, going slightly pink around the ears. When drunk, Jim would get more clingy than usual once he knew Bones wouldn’t push him away, and it seemed to fit the drugs effects.“Ye say it lowers inhibitions? Like some sort a truth serum then?” Scotty asked. Bones did not trust the humor in his tone or the mischievous look in his eyes when he looked away from Jim to glare at him. “Truth serum eh?” Sulu mused, “Hey Jim!” At his name, Jim looked up from where he was hiding his face against Bones.“Who is your favorite person on this ship?” Sulu continued, laughter at the edge of his voice.“Favorite person? My favorite person is Bones!” Bones could feel his blush get darker at the admission. “Why is Bones your favorite person Jim?” Uhura asked playfully, utterly unprepared for the heartfelt honesty she was about to get. “Why is Bones my favorite? Why... Is Bones my favorite. I have so many reasons! He has really gentle hands, he never told me if it was a doctor thing or not, but he never hurts me when he patches me up, the best hands, never ever hurts me. He is also a really good cook, knows exactly how I like my food, even when I never told him. Always paying attention to me, his breakfast is the best. Bones, can you make me my favorite breakfast tomorrow, please?” Bones cheeks were starting to get really warm at this point, but before he could put a stop to Jim’s rambling, Sulu was prodding him for more.“What else? What else... He is so focused and organized! It always calms me down. Doing my reports in his office is my favorite. Ummm... Oh! I love his voice, his voice is so soothing. I love to sit near him when he reads because he reads out loud and I can listen to him.”Now, Bones cheeks were tingling and his ears were burning with intensity of the blush on his face. Uhura had an annoyingly speculative and knowing look on her face while Sulu and Scotty looked like they were just given the best present of the year. “That’s a lot of reasons there Jim, you all out now?” Scotty chimed in this time.“Oh! No! I like the way Bones smells. Sometimes he lets me wear his hoodies, that is the best. Bones is always there for me. Bones smells safe. Bones smells like home.” After that last admission, Jim returned his face back to Bones’ neck, oblivious to the stunned expressions on everyone’s faces and the very, very, red face of the man under scrutiny. Just when Bones was starting to get even more uncomfortable with the stares he was getting, Jim spoke up again from his hiding spot. “Bones. Bones, I’m tired. Can we take a nap?” Jim said, still oblivious to the stares they were getting. “Yeah Jim, let's go take a nap and hopefully sleep this drug off,” Bones said, avoiding everyone’s eyes and pulling Jim to his quarters.Bones woke up first, after an... 8 hour nap. Alright. He looked down at the still sleeping Jim, half on top of him, and wrapped around him like an oversized koala. He was already resigned to the looks he was going to get when they went back on shift. No doubt word has already spread of Jim’s unfiltered interrogation of who he likes best and why. Everyone was going to have a field day. A shift from Jim had him focusing back down to the weight on his chest. Jim groaned and pressed his face harder into Bones chest. “Auggh, I have the worst headache,” Jim bemoaned. “What happened?”“You got drugged,” Bones replied, putting an arm over his eyes. “What do you remember.”“Drugged? Oh yeah... Spock came and got me right before they could ask any questions. Um. Then I got brought back? And...oh. Oh.” Jim paused, flush climbing up his neck, “Did I really say all that in front of everyone?” Jim asked sheepishly, “Yeah... Yeah, you did,” Bones responded, face warm at the memory. “You really... Laid it all out, kid.”“...You aren’t mad at me, are you, Bones?” Jim asked hesitantly.“Could never be mad at you, not really. You are going to have to try a hell of a lot harder if you wanted to get rid of me.” Bones said dropping his arm from his eyes to Jim’s back to pull him in tighter. “I’m pretty stubborn though, so you would be setting yourself up for a losing battle”They lay quietly for another few minutes, and right as Bones was about to drift off again, he heard a quiet “Thank you Bones”. He just squeezed his shoulder and fell asleep. When they finally emerged from Bones quarters, they were both a little wary about the reception of the rest of the crew. When Bones made it to med bay, he could tell everyone knew but he was just aimed a few soft knowing smiles and no one brought it up. Well, Chapel asked about Jim with a little more weight, but otherwise didn’t push it. When he got to the bridge later that shift, Sulu greeted him with a playful smile and a “Favorite on the bridge”, which caused a small flush on both his and Jim’s faces. Otherwise, it was almost like it didn’t happen. Sure, there were some knowing and fond looks aimed their way, but everyone continued like normal. Bones walked over and rested his hand on Jim’s shoulder, prompting a soft smile from him. He smiled back down and moved his hand to his neck and gently squeezed. All was right, Jim was safe and so was the knowledge of the softer side to the crew’s captain and doctor.