Work Text
"I wish I wasn't even born.""I wish you were mine.""You can't save me. Leave me alone!""Maybe I can't. But who's stopping me from loving you?" COMING SOON!
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Taehyung's POV I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw my pale complexion, a sickly tinge to it, my limp and greasy hair, the bags under my eyes and two dark and empty orbs staring back at me. I guess being mentally sick does take a toll on you physically.I sighed. My eyes falling on the blade that I'd kept on the sink, It's edge bloody. I'd almost forgotten about the pain around my forearm. I took at blade and looked closely at it. I saw the drying blood and tried to feel something. Guilt, disgust, sad, anything. But all I felt was empty. And somewhere, I knew that was much worse.I went down for breakfast after I got rid of the evidence of my sin and threw on a oversized hoodie. It was winter so I'd not get questioned. As if anyone cared. My mom was standing by the front door, already dressed for work and speaking to someone on the phone. She looked at me and mouthed, "Eat something before leaving." I nodded. I waited for her to leave and I grabbed my bag and put on my scruffy black pair of Converse and headed out to my Audi
A8 parked in the garage to get to my first class. Breakfast would just make me queasy after all the bloody mess in my bathroom. I drove with Lana del Rey playing on my stereo and looked around blankly at the morning traffic. I reached my university in 15 minutes and headed to my first class. "It's cold", I thought while shivering slightly. I looked at my gloved hands. I missed sketching. Well I am an art major. That's basically what I'm supposed to do but it feels like all I've been doing nowadays is sketch and paint for assignments. It's been a long time since I've sketched something I wanted to. I reached my class and went back to the last desk by the window. It was History of Art class anyway. I looked out and saw a few people messing around with each other. They seemed close. They were all good looking guys. One of them had his hands around another one and they seemed like a couple. The other was jumping up and down. From the unbearable cold it seemed. And two were laughing at the guy who was jumping. They all seemed like close friends.Friends. The one person I could consider as a friend was Park Jimin. Dance major and his age. The one person who didn't let my naturally intimidating and blank stare affect him in the slightest and greeted me every morning with a bright ass smile and cute face until my resolve broke. Took two months but he never wavered. I guess that's why I like him. His resolve is impressive. What Park Jimin wants, he works hard for it. But I guess he made me feel wanted. After so long. I sighed again. I was an outcast. By choice. I was also depressed. I had been for the past two years. I was an only child to my parents who both had separate companies. My childhood was mostly spent crying because I hardly saw my parents at all. Sometimes I feel like they forget that they have a son. They're together but might as well not be. Since they hardly know anything about each other too. Their marriage was arranged by my grandparents. And after having me, I hardly think they saw each other. Like today morning my father would either be gone before I woke up or come back after I've slept. Once I hadn't seen both of them for a month. And we live in the same house. We're well endowed because of their hard work and I'm grateful for that. But sometimes I wish they'd shown me love. I don't even know what that feels like. It seems like all I've ever known was disappointment and sadness. Even that is fading now.... Now... I feel numb.