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“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.” ~Emery Allen

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Well that had been...a day. Abby unlocks her apartment door and lets herself in, leaning back on it once inside. Waking up in Luka’s bed, in Luka’s arms. Jesus. What had she been thinking?
 
She pushes herself away from the door, shaking her head, and walking to the kitchen for some water. She hadn’t been thinking. She had

stopped

thinking the minute he’d taken her face in those big, gentle hands of his and kissed her. Tossing her back in time to when he used to kiss her like that

all the time.

Like she was his salvation or something.
 
Abby sighs and carries her water into the bedroom to change for bed. Luka had always been a mystery to her. When they had been together before, both of them had so much baggage that it’s no wonder they’d imploded. Neither of them had been very good at talking about important stuff. Abby snorts while she pulls on a sleep shirt. Obviously, that hadn’t changed much.
 
She crawls under the covers, but her thoughts continue to race. Luka had been so sweet that morning. Teasing her about her underwear, making “breakfast”, joking with her in the kitchen. They had a comfortable rhythm, after so many years of friendship. It hadn’t been awkward

at all

while they’d done the dishes together and chatted about trivial nonsense. The plane crash and both of their beepers going off simultaneously had interrupted, but it had been a nice little interlude. They’d even talked about maybe seeing a movie.
 
Abby closes her eyes. Maybe Luka was right. They

were

friends. He was one of her best friends. If she lost that because she was hot for him, she might not survive it. Luka had been her constant at County, through all of the bullshit and turmoil. He was there for her. Like a goddamn rock.
 
Plus, she knows he’s still hurting over Sam. No way does she want to be Luka’s rebound chick. She scowls at the ceiling. She’s seen that scenario play out before, and it never ends well. He may be better off without Sam, in Abby’s opinion, but she also knows how tight Luka was with Alex, and how much harder that made things for him.
 
Rolling to her side, Abby considers the night before. After he’d pulled back from that first kiss, they’d just stared at each other. Then he’d kissed her again, and it was over. They’d started tearing each other’s clothes off on the way up to his bedroom. And

oh my God.

She hadn’t forgotten, exactly, how good he was in bed. More like pushed it into a corner of her heart and mind so she could get through and move on. But last night was certainly an excellent reminder. They’d made love three times before finally collapsing in exhaustion. The man had done things to her body that she was pretty sure would never be done again. It made her a little sad.
 
Abby loved Luka. When they had been together before, she had been on the precipice of falling

in love

with him. Which had been one of the (many) problems. It had terrified her, and caused her to push him away so he couldn’t break her heart. She knows he’d had feelings for her too, if his behavior after their breakup was any indication, and she was pretty sure it was. Over time, those feelings had settled into a warm, steady friendship. When she’d thought he died, Abby had nearly lost her mind. Well, if near death didn’t clarify things for you, what would? She loved him. Would always love him. She had never intended to act on it. And then last night happened.
 
But he wanted to stay friends. She didn’t want to complicate things, or push him into anything he didn’t want.

She

wanted to stay friends too. The problem with that, was that last night had dragged up all of her buried feelings for him and put them on display for herself. Shit. She was in trouble.
 
******************************
 
Luka would be surprised to learn that Abby’s thoughts were running parallel to his own. He flopped over to his side, smiling a little as the scent of Abby’s hair, still clinging to his pillow, wafted toward him.
 
He had mentioned their friendship in the ambulance bay, not because he necessarily wanted to stay

just

friends, but because he had wanted to make it clear that losing that friendship, losing

her,

would be unacceptable. Abby was his one steady constant in the crazy life he led. Losing that because he was hot for her, well, it just wasn’t an option.
 
She had looked so sad in that moment before he’d kissed her. Not just pissed at him, but

sad.

Heartbroken even. He’d only wanted to do something to soothe her. Take away the hurt. But then...she’d kissed him back. In a way that had made his heart jump in his chest and his knees go weak. How was he supposed to resist

that?

Luka rolls to his back again and sighs, smiling. Having Abby in his arms again had been a revelation. She fit against him in a way that none of the other women he’d been with since the first time they were together, including Sam, did. Like they had been made for each other. He smirks a little at that fanciful thought, even as guilt snuck in.
 
He had never been in love with Sam. Everything between them had happened so fast, had been so fraught. Luka had told Sam he loved her so early, in part, to get her to stay put. He’d known from the beginning that she would cut and run if things got hard and complicated. He had wanted a way to keep her and Alex there. With him. He cared about them both, deeply. And Luka couldn’t lie to himself, the idea of a ready made family had been appealing. But he hadn’t loved Sam. Not the way he had loved Danijela. Or Abby. Basically, he had held on as long as he had because he didn’t want their relationship to be just one more thing he had fucked up. In the end, Sam had cut and run after all. Ending things because she knew the same thing he did. They just weren’t right for each other.
 
But he and Abby

were

right for each other. They always had been, if he was being honest with himself. Since that first night that she had kissed him out of nowhere, out in the ambulance bay, Luka had been fascinated by Abby. Her tough exterior that he knew very well that she used to hide a deep vulnerability. Her humor. The way she teased him. The way she stood up for him, even when everyone else was ready to just kick his ass to the curb. Her brains and compassion. Her beauty both inside and out had kept him hooked on her from the very start. He could admit it to himself, here, alone in the bed they’d shared last night. He was still in love with her. He probably always would be.
 
Luka sighs. But she wanted to stay friends. That was fine, so did he. But Luka was realizing that he wanted more from her. He wanted it all. Shit. He was in trouble.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Pregnant? Jesus Christ.

Abby was pregnant?

Luka continues to stare at her, eyes blown wide, after she had blurted out the words.
 
“Luka, say something.” Abby watches him apprehensively.
 
This was...impossible. Terrifying. Exhilarating. Of all of the things he’d expected her to say when she had asked if they could talk…
 
“Luka.” Abby is scowling at him now.
 
“Preg...pregnant?” He manages to stutter. “How?” As soon as the words are out, Luka realizes what a dumbass he sounds like.
 
Abby scoffs. “I’m pretty sure you know how babies are made, Kovač. And we’ve engaged in that activity multiple times in the last month.” She says drily.
 
Luka smiles a little and pushes his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I just meant...we used...you’re on…”
 
Abby snorts and rolls her eyes. “For somebody who is

never

good with the words, you’re failing even more epically right now.” She smiles a little when he just nods. “And we didn’t use...not that first night. As for me being on...well, I hadn’t had sex in months. I may not have been as diligent about taking my pills on time.” Abby shrugs. “I have no idea, Luka. But I’m pregnant. It happened

somehow.

You’re the father, by the way.”
 
It’s Luka’s turn to scowl. “Of course I am. Who else would it be? I’m not questioning

that,

Abby. You know me better than that.”
 
Abby gives him a tentative smile, and puts her hand on his arm. “I know. I don’t know why I said that.” She shivers when he takes her hand. “So what do we do now?”
 
She looks so small, standing there watching him. She had to know that he wanted this. Wanted

her.

But he also knew how easily she spooked. And her complicated thoughts on family. He would have to tread carefully. Luka pulls her into his arms. “We’ll do whatever you want to do. For now, maybe we should go back inside? It’s freezing out here.” He looks down at her face, seeing a flash of something. Disappointment? Relief? He couldn’t tell. So he kisses her nose. “We’ll talk more after the party is over, yeah? I think we both need some time to...settle. And think.”
 
Abby nods and takes his hand to walk back inside with him. Think? What the hell did he think she’d been doing all day?  Her thoughts continue to circle while she watches him joke and laugh with their friends. She did her best to stay engaged, stay in the moment, but it was hard. Luka had been made to be a father. That much was obvious. He might as well have been wearing a sign. Abby knows very well what his thoughts on the matter are going to be. She smiles a little when he drapes his arm casually over her shoulders and kisses her on the top of the head. They hadn’t officially “come out” as a couple at work, but their colleagues weren’t idiots. They knew very well that something was going on, and reactions ranged from cold appraisal from Sam to giddy joy from Chuny to a smirking “it’s about damn time” vibe from Kerry. Luka, of course, was oblivious to all of it. He probably had no idea that the entire ER was gossiping about the two of them. This casual PDA was going to set tongues wagging even harder.
 
“You okay?” Luka murmurs in her ear, tearing her out of her reverie.
 
Abby nods and smiles at him. “Just tired.”
 
This seems to click something in him and he narrows his eyes. “Finish your food. I’m taking you home.”
 
“Luka…”
 
He shakes his head and drains his beer, keeping his eyes on hers. “Abby, I want to take you home.” He brushes his fingers down her cheek. “We need to talk.”
 
Abby sighs and nods. “Yeah.” She stuffs the last of the appetizer she’d been working on in her mouth. She couldn’t seem to get enough to eat.
 
After saying their goodbyes, and accumulating one too many knowing smirks from their friends, Abby is relieved to be in the warmth of his car. Luka said nothing on the drive, but his hand crept over, almost shyly, to take hers. She’s a little surprised when he heads for her place, instead of his. His apartment was larger, and so was the bed. Luka took up a lot of space. Especially since he sprawled everywhere in his sleep.She smirks a little at the thought of it. His sleep habits were pretty adorable. And he was a cuddler. If she had wanted space, she was screwed.
 
Luka tosses his keys on the little table by her door and stands awkwardly, watching her remove her coat and toss it on a chair. He clears his throat. “Do you want me to stay?” He asks.
 
Abby moves to sit on the couch and gives him a puzzled look. “Of course I want you to stay.” She furrows her brow. “Um, if you want to.”
 
He nods and removes his own coat, moving over to sit next to her. He pulls her legs over his lap. “Of course I want to.” Luka reaches out and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “So.”
 
Abby takes his hand and plays with it in her lap, staring at the lights on her Christmas tree. “So.”
 
Luka tucks an arm behind her back and cradles her. He rests his head on top of hers. “I’m sorry for my reaction.”
 
Abby laughs a little. “It’s okay. Mine ran along the same lines. I’d just had a while to think about it.”
 
Luka draws back to look at her. “When did you find out?”
 
Abby sighs. “I stopped and got a pregnancy test this morning after I left your place. I took it when I stopped here to grab some things.”
 
Luka nods and folds her back in, thinking of all the times she’d seemed on the verge of telling him something throughout the day. “I’m sorry you had to go through the day with that on your mind.”
 
Abby sighs again. “I was going to tell you earlier. We just never got the right moment. I don’t know what to do, Luka.”
 
He kisses her temple. “I know. How did you feel when it was positive?”
 
“What?”
 
“When you first saw that the stick or whatever..” he waves a hand, making Abby grin, “was positive, how did you feel?”
 
“I...happy. Then terrified.”
 
“Happy came first though?” He asks her softly.
 
Abby sighs. “Yes, but this is just...so much. We just started dating again. We haven’t even defined our relationship.” She shakes her head when Luka starts to speak. “No. I don’t want to have

that

discussion right now too.”
 
Luka tightens his grip on her. “All right.”
 
“I just don’t know if it’s the right time for us to do this.” She says in a whisper.
 
“Do you want to know what I think?” At her nod, Luka strokes her arm. “I think everything happens for a reason. I...care about you, Abby. So much. If you choose to have this baby, I’m with you.”
 
“Do you want me to?” Abby asks him quietly.
 
Luka sighs. “Of course I do. I’ve never lied to you, and I won’t start now. You know me probably better than anybody. It would be stupid of me to try to tell you anything different.”
 
“And if I choose not to?” Abby can barely get the words out.
 
“I’ll still care about you. Nothing will change that. I know this is your decision. I’ll respect whatever choice you make.”
 
Abby looks up at him, searching his face. His eyes are steady on hers and she can see he’s telling her the truth as he knows it right now. But what if he changes his mind? On one hand, having this baby simply to make Luka happy would be a mistake of epic proportions. On the other,

not

having it could cost her everything. She could lose him. As a lover

and

a friend. Abby isn’t sure she could get through that. There was also a part of her, one that was small but insistent, telling her that both of them deserved this. They should have this baby because they cared about each other and they

deserved

this. Both of them had been through

so much

in their lives. A baby would be a, well, blessing. It wasn’t like either of them was getting any younger.
 
Abby blows out a breath. “Okay.” She squeezes his arm. “I guess we both have a lot to think about.”
 
“I guess we do. I won’t push you, Abby. As much as I want this….I know it has to be something we

both

want. If you can’t do this, I’ll understand.”
 
Abby blows out a relieved breath. She had been terrified of...she wasn’t sure. “Okay.” She repeats.
 
Luka nods and nuzzles her neck. Pressing a kiss to the underside of her jaw. He smiles at her gasp, and moves his hand up to stroke her breast. “Is this alright?” He murmurs.
 
In response, Abby tilts her head back further to give him more access, and wraps her arms around his shoulders, wiggling a little in his lap to make him groan. She can feel his arousal pushing into her hip, and she shifts further, sliding off from his lap to pull him on top of her. “Yes.” She whispers, taking his face in her hands and kissing him slow and sweet.
 
Luka smiles against her lips. He couldn’t tell her everything she meant to him. Couldn’t say the words that were desperate to escape his lips. But he could show her what she meant to him. What they meant to each other. Show her that she had his heart, and always would.
 
Sliding down her body, Luka unbuttons her shirt, trailing his lips along the same path his fingers were brushing. When he got to her belly, he lingered a moment, kissing her softly above her hip bone. He feels Abby’s hand in his hair, stroking as if reading his thoughts. He continues his journey, rolling her pants down her hips, kissing both of her thighs reverently. Luka grins at her choked cry when he uses his mouth on her, knowing she’s lost now, in him, in

them

.
 
The orgasm crashes through Abby, making her go limp. She was pliant as water. Luka slides up her body, stroking her neck as he kisses her. “Luka.” She murmurs it when he slips inside her, moving in a slow, steady rhythm. Abby manages, barely, to get her arms back around him. She wraps her legs around his waist and matches him beat for beat until the wave sweeps over them both.
 
Luka manages to roll so she’s tucked beside him rather than crushed under him. A thought strikes his sex hazed brain. “Wait, we didn’t use..”
 
Abby giggles. “Doctor Kovač. Do you think you got me

more

pregnant?”
 
Luka chuckles and groans. “Yeah. That was a stupid statement, huh?” He grows serious again. “You ah, know I don’t have anything, right?”
 
Abby nods and snuggles in closer to him. “I know that, Luka. You’d never put me at risk. Even before this. Same goes for me, by the way.”
 
Luka kisses her head. “I know that too. We probably should have had this discussion before, yeah?”
 
Abby snorts. “Some doctors we are.” She pulls the throw from the back of the couch and tosses it over them both. “Thanks, Luka.”
 
“For what?” He asks her as he strokes her hair, hoping to lull her to sleep so he can carry her in to bed.
 
“For always being there for me. For giving me time to work this out.”
 
Luka presses a kiss to her forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby is awakened from her light slumber when Luka groans and tries to find a comfortable position in his sleep. She rolls over to face him, stroking his hair. “Shhh. Are you okay?”
 
Luka nods and tries to smile at her, but it ends up being more of a grimace. “Fine. Go back to sleep.”
 
Abby sighs and scoots up to press a soft kiss to his lips, careful not to jostle him too much. She trails a finger down the bruising scrape on his cheek. “Quiet. I’m supposed to worry about you right now. Do you need anything?”
 
Luka shakes his head and shifts a little again. “I just can’t get comfortable. Nothing you can do.” He moves his good arm behind her, drawing her over so she’s snug against his chest. “That’s better.”
 
Abby smiles and strokes his chest, hoping to lull him back to sleep. A little more than twenty four hours before, she’d been in a state of panic, terrified that she was going to lose him. Now he was warm and safe beside her. Battered and tired and traumatized, but safe.
 
Abby squeezes her eyes closed and her fingers tighten on his shirt a little. The look Luka had given her when Ames had marched him out of their home at gunpoint had spoken volumes. He didn’t think he was coming back.
 
A tear escapes her eye, and she brings her hand up to wipe it away. She’d seen a similar look in his eyes when he had left for Africa. He hadn’t thought he was coming home then, either. But back then there had also been...defeat. This time, it was determination and terror. Determination to keep her and Joe safe. Terror that he would never see them again.
 
God, she wished she didn’t love that part of him. That protectiveness that overtook everything, but especially his own safety. He would do

anything

to keep the people he loved safe. Including putting himself in mortal danger.
 
While he had been on that roof, everything that they had and were to each other, everything they’d been through, everything they had yet to

do

; played over and over again in her mind. She didn’t tell him she loved him enough. She had refused to marry him, over and over again. For what? Because she was afraid of losing him, she admits to herself. She was terrified of messing things up like she had done countless times before.
 
Abby sighs again. Sliding her leg over his to tangle them even closer together. She thinks back to when she had thought he was dead. She had been in the middle of yet another fight with Carter when Chuny had come out to tell them. The news had stopped her heart and she had stopped breathing. Luka, gone. The thought of a world without him had been unfathomable.
 
Abby smiles a little. She’d forever be grateful to Carter for insisting on going back to Africa and bringing Luka home. She hadn’t wanted him to go. Needing

someone

to be there for her. Because she hadn’t realized at the time that the man she loved had died, and one that she cared deeply for was leaving her to go and find him. Her emotions had been a mess at that point. It’s a wonder she hadn’t started drinking. She hadn’t left her apartment for two days, grieving Luka and worrying about Carter on top of it. But one thing had become crystal clear for her. She loved Luka Kovač, and always would.
 
Last night had driven that point home again. As in love as they were, as happy as they made each other, Abby had realized in those desperate hours,  how much she truly

needed

Luka. Losing him now would break her into pieces she would never be able to put back together. He was her lover, her best friend, her partner, and the father of her child. He was her soulmate. Life without him just wasn’t something she wanted to endure. It seemed impossible.
 
When he’d come out of that doorway with the cops, after she’d heard the gunshots, her knees had gone to jelly. She couldn’t get to him quickly enough. Abby had needed to hold him and reassure herself that he was real, and alive. The way Luka had clutched at her, his breath sobbing, had broken her heart. She had been so grateful to whatever deity had kept him safe that she’d said a quick prayer.
 
Abby slides her hand up and strokes his neck, smiling a little at his soft snoring. He was here with her now. They had a beautiful son. A beautiful

life

. One that had nearly been snatched away yet again. Of all people, the two of them should

know

how quickly that could happen.
 
She tilts her head up and presses a kiss to his jaw. “I love you so much.” Abby whispers before snuggling down against him again.
 
What was she waiting for?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Hey.” Luka sits down beside Abby on Susan’s couch and hands her a fresh Diet Coke. “Why are you being a door-flower?”
 
Abby quirks a grin at him. “It’s ‘wall-flower’. And I’m not. I’m just sitting here.” She was half convinced that he mixed up English sayings just to mess with them. Her, mostly.
 
He bumps her with his shoulder. “It’s a party, Abby. You’re supposed to be having fun.”
 
She sighs a little. “I am. How about you?” She grins when he looks confused. “Are you having fun?”
 
“Oh. Yeah, of course.” He clears his throat. “It’s still a little weird, being back in Chicago.”
 
Abby nods and studies him. She knew his experience in Africa had changed him. She just wished she could figure it out. She desperately wanted to run her fingers through his hair and stroke his cheek. Tell him how much she had missed him and that she’d realized how much he truly meant to her. Instead she smiles at him. “Well, I’m glad you’re back, anyways.”
 
Luka watches her out of the corner of his eye. He’d missed her like crazy. In fact, she was one of the only things he’d missed. Abby was his best friend, and he still had deep, complicated feelings for her. Losing their friendship is something he’d never get over, though, so he hasn’t told her any of that. Wasn’t sure he ever would. “Ah, you’re doing okay?”
 
Abby sighs. She knows exactly what he’s talking about. “Yes, Luka. I’m fine. I told you, it was for the best. Carter and I weren’t working anyways. We just weren’t right for each other.”
 
Luka gives her his lopsided grin. “I won’t say I told you so…”
 
Abby snorts. “You of all people have

every

right to tell me so.”
 
Luka realizes that they’re on the precipice of maybe saying something too big for either of them to handle, so he scrambles back from the ledge. “Well, I’m sorry either way. It sucks.”
 
Abby shrugs and smiles at him again. She nods toward the dance floor.

Harder to Breathe

was playing, and their friends were all out there, shaking it. “Wanna dance? They’re playing our song.”
 
Luka snorts and pulls her to her feet. “I’m a terrible dancer.”
 
Abby laughs and loops her arms lightly around his neck, while his hands settle at her waist. “Yeah, you really are.”
 
Luka smirks and his eyes twinkle at her. “You’re supposed to say ‘No you’re not, Luka! You’re great at it!’”
 
Abby shakes her head and laughs. Tipping her head down against his chest. God, she had missed this. They were so

easy

together, when they were both in a good mood at least. She tips her head back and grins at him. “Luka?”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“You’re still a terrible dancer.”
 
He snickers and wraps his arms around her in a hug, continuing to sway to the song.
 
Neither of them notice the smirking glances and knowing looks from their colleagues and friends. When the song ends, Abby grabs her cigarettes. He glances at them. “Yeah, yeah. I’m still trying to quit. Sue me.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I was actually going to join you, if you don’t mind.”
 
Abby clears her throat. “Ah, sure. Since when do you smoke?” She asks him as they move outside to Susan’s little terrace together.
 
“I don’t. But that’s neither here nor there.” He sits down on the metal stairs with her. He lights his cigarette and draws deeply, relishing the cool air of Chicago and the nicotine going to his head. He leans back, looking content.
 
Abby lights her own and props her head on her fist. “Where’s your friend tonight?”
 
Luka looks baffled. “Who?”
 
“Sam.”
 
Luka sighs. “Oh. I guess she’s home with Alex.” He shrugs. “I didn’t ask if she was coming.”
 
Abby clears her throat and smiles. “So what’s going on there?”
 
Talking about another woman with Abby always felt weird, but he knows she’s just looking out for him, and she’s genuinely curious. “I have no idea. I like Alex. Sam’s cute. But she’s protective as hell and a little high maintenance.”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah, because you never date high maintenance women.”
 
Luka shoves her leg and grins. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
 
Abby grins back. “She seems okay.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I guess so.” He studies Abby. Now is

not

the time to get into his feelings for her, but.... He reaches out and tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “Abby..”
 
Susan sticks her head out the window. “Hey you two, put out those cancer sticks and get in here. We’re doing the secret Santa.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes and groans. “Great. More rubber sheets.”
 
Luka crushes out his cigarette and gets to his feet, strangely grateful for Susan’s interruption. He pulls Abby up. “Hey. You got a snow globe last year.”
 
Abby smiles at him. He’d never come out and admitted to being her secret Santa last year, but their awkward interlude in Susan’s bedroom had been enough to clue her in. “Yeah. That was a good one.”
 
He smiles and follows her inside. Happy, at least for tonight, to be back home.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“

You’re being an idiot, Luka.”

“Am I?”

Luka scowls at the wall.

“Yes. Do you love her?”

“Of course I do. That’s not the issue.”

“Does she make you happy?”

Luka sighs. “

When she isn’t making me miserable.”

Niko laughs. “

That’s how you know it’s true love, little brother. Stop being an idiot. Ah! Don’t interrupt me. I know she hurt you. Your pride, your heart. But don’t you think you hurt her too?”

Luka grumbles. “

Maybe.”

He lets out a long breath. “

Okay, fine. Yes. But I don’t know how to forgive what happened.”

Luka can practically hear Niko’s eye roll on the other end of the phone call. “

You need to find a way. You two belong together. Even though you were fighting almost the entire time you were here, I could see it. She loves you so much, Luka. Do you want to lose that because she made a big mistake? Haven’t you made them too?”

Luka yanks out one of the chairs at his (rented) kitchen table and collapses into it. He drops his forehead in his hand and rubs. He’d never expected Niko to be the one to take Abby’s side. To champion her side of it, in fact. Luka sighs again. He should have expected it. Niko had always taken Danijela‘s side too. The contrary bastard.
 
“

Luka. You know that you have to talk to her. You need to work this out. Not just for you two, but for Josip. You can’t run away again.”

Luka feels the rage bubbling up, even as guilt snuck in. He

had

considered running away. At least for a little while. “

That’s not right, Niko. You can’t make that comparison.”

“I wasn’t. I’m saying it’s not fair to you or to Abby or to Joe if you just hide away and brood. You need to face this. You’ve never been a coward. Don’t be one now.”

Luka’s lips curve in a wry smile. “

You’ve called me a coward before.”

Niko sighs.

“Luka, I was angry with you. I was afraid you would do something stupid and we would never see you again. I didn’t mean half the things I said during that time.”

Luka rolls his eyes and sighs. “

I know that.”

“All right. Listen, I have to go soon. Ana won’t hold dinner much longer. But one last thing...Do you want Abby?”

Luka swallows hard. It’s a while before he answers. “

Yes. But..”

“But

nothing,

Luka. If you want Abby, if you want your family back, you have to make that happen. You left so you could figure things out. Fucking figure them out.”

Luka snarls in frustration. “

I’ve been trying to do that Niko. That’s why I called you.”

Niko chuckles. “

Then do it. And the last thing I’ll say about it that might actually help your stubborn ass. Think about the circumstances. That should tell you everything you need to know. I love you little brother.”

Luka scowls at the phone when his brother ends the call, and barely resists heaving it across the room. He looks around the little dining area of the studio he’d rented when he’d moved out of the home that held his wife and son.
 
He rises and goes to the refrigerator for a beer. He snarls at it and nearly feels the need to throw that too. Luka takes a deep breath to calm himself and trades the beer for a Coke. He didn’t want alcohol right now. Wasn’t sure he’d ever want it again after what it had done to his family.
 
Luka wanders out to his tiny living area and collapses on his (also rented) couch. Niko was right. He needed to fucking figure this out. It had been more than three weeks since he’d left, and he was still as hurt and confused as ever. The ball was in his court. He

knew

that. Abby wasn’t pushing him. He knows how badly she wants to make amends. To work things out between them. But he just couldn’t get his mind and heart around forgiving her. He didn’t want a divorce. He hadn’t even looked into the process. Abby was his wife, for better or for worse. But...
 
She had

slept with someone else

. Another man had put his hands on Abby’s body. Held her. Been with her. Luka feels tears gather in his eyes at the absolute

betrayal

he felt over it. He knows how ashamed she is. She had told him in Croatia that she didn’t even really remember doing it…
 
Luka sets his drink aside as a realization hits him. She didn’t remember. She was drunk. In a blackout. Which means she didn’t consent to any of it. She hadn’t made a

choice

to cheat on him. Or to do any of the other things she had done. Except to take that first drink, which had led to all the rest.
 
He sighs. His obliviousness toward her addiction had always frustrated Abby. But he had never seen her in the throes of it before, and he had to admit, it had all caught him off guard. He hadn’t handled it well, that much was obvious. And Niko was right. He’d screwed up too. He should have known when she had practically begged him to come home that she needed him. Badly. But he had been selfish. Wanting as much time with his father as he could get. So he had left her alone with the baby, trying to keep their life here together so she could give him that time. He had taken almost six months to do it. It’s no wonder she had weakened. Had broken.
 
Luka swallows hard and scowls at the ceiling. He still wanted to kick Moretti’s ass, and if he ever got the chance, he’d take his shot. But he realized now that Abby really wasn’t at fault for it. His brother was right, they needed to work this out. He loved her too much to stay away much longer. He loved her and he loved Joe, and he wanted his family back. He felt the crack in his heart begin to heal.
 
He pushes to his feet to head to bed. He grabs his phone on the way through the dining room. With a long sigh, Luka strips and lies down on the empty bed, whole body and heart aching for his wife. He missed holding her. He missed the way she fit against him and the way she smelled. He missed making love with her. He missed her smile and her laughter and her spirit. He just missed her.
 
Luka flops over on his side, rubbing his hand over his face. Abby was his

best friend

. Over and above the fact that she was his wife, his partner, his lover. He missed their friendship. He missed his

family.

He wasn’t strong enough to keep this up. Niko was right. His stubborn pride was getting in the way of everything else, and it was to the point of being ridiculous. He needed to make a decision, and soon.
 
Luka flips open his phone and dials, needing to hear her voice. He smiles softly when she answers. “Hey.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka rushes into County General desperate to find Abby. He’d seen the news report of the ambulance explosion, and knew it was on her path back to the hospital. Goddamnit. He should have walked her back. He shouldn’t have wasted all of this time with her being angry and hurt over something she hadn’t had control over. If anything had happened to her…..

He couldn’t lose her.
 
“Luka?”
 
He spins around to see Sam, looking sad and completely disheveled. His heart clutches. “Hey. Where’s Abby?”
 
Sam puts a comforting hand on his arm. “She’s fine. A little banged up, but otherwise okay. Her wrist may be fractured, and she sprained her ankle.”
 
Luka lets out a breath. “Why didn’t anyone call me?”
 
Sam starts to speak, and then changes course, realizing that he needs to hear the news from his wife. “Abby went upstairs for a minute. She’ll be back down soon.”
 
Luka grips Sam’s arm. “Sam...what aren’t you telling me?”
 
She shakes her head. “Luka, you need to wait for Abby.”
 
He narrows his eyes at her, searching her face. He sees that she’s not going to say more, so he backs off. “Fine.”
 
Luka strides toward the elevators to wait for her. He rushes forward when she steps off. She’s limping a bit, and her wrist is in a splint. She looks like she’s been crying.
 
Abby looks startled when she sees him, still looking panic-stricken. “Hey.”
 
“What happened to you?” Luka pulls her into his arms and strokes her hair.
 
“An ambulance exploded. I was walking past it when it went up. Luka…” Abby’s breath hitches. “Greg’s dead.”
 
His hand stills and he pulls back to look at her, horrified. “What?”
 
“Greg. He...He was in the ambulance. He was okay on scene, but then we realized his mandible was fractured. And the impact. His lungs....It caused an air embolism.” Abby takes a deep breath. “We worked on him for over an hour. I just took Chaz up with the organ harvest team.”
 
Luka shakes his head, unable to process the news. He had been so worried about Abby, and thank God she was okay, that he hadn’t given a second thought to any of his other friends here. No wonder nobody had called him about Abby’s injuries. “What the hell was he doing in the ambulance?”
 
“The patient they were transferring was still unstable. But he was in witsec, so they needed to get him out of here.” Abby tips her head against Luka’s chest. “I guess whoever wanted him dead found him.”
 
Luka kisses Abby on the top of her head. “Are you okay?”
 
She smiles ruefully at him. “Not really.”
 
“Did you have that wrist X-rayed?”
 
“Yeah. Hairline fracture to the ulna. I’ll be fine. Are you okay?”
 
He nods. “I will be. When are you finished?”
 
Abby’s heart clutches. It was so hard to hope. “An hour ago. But I need to…”
 
“Understood. I’ll get Joe from Marnie’s and meet you at home.”
 
“At…..”
 
Luka looks at her softly, and bites his lip. “At home, Abby.”
 
She lets out a breath and nods. “Okay. I’m just going to check on Chaz and Archie, then I’ll be there.”
 
Luka nods and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Okay.”

******************************************
 
“Hey Luka.” Marnie looks surprised to see him, as she’d been expecting Abby.
 
“Hey. Abby’s still at the hospital, so I’m getting Joe.” He glances over when his son toddles toward him and raises his arms.
 
“Tata!”
 
“Hi.” He lifts Joe and kisses his forehead. “Ready to go?”
 
“Mama?”
 
“Yup. We’re going to go see mama.”
 
Marnie lifts a brow. “You are?”
 
Luka smiles at her. “Yeah. We’re going to be okay. Thanks for all of your help with the bouncing around the last few weeks. You can, ah, pick him up at our place tomorrow.”
 
Marnie grins. “I’m so happy to hear that.” She hands Luka Joe’s bag. “I’ll see you in the morning then. He already ate dinner. Abby called earlier and asked if I would feed him. Bye, Joe!” She smiles as Luka nods at her and carries Joe out the door. It was about damn time. The stubborn idiots.
 
Luka pauses at the door of his home of seven years. Why had he

ever

wanted to leave? This place had seen him through a lot of different phases in his life. It was where he and Abby had brought their son home. Where they had more than likely

conceived

that son. Where they had spent their wedding night, had lived together and loved together. He hadn’t been as attached to a place since the home he’d shared with Danielja and the kids. He hitches Joe up and unlocks the door, letting himself in for the first time since he’d left. He shakes his head at that. God, what an idiot he’d been.
 
Luka sets Joe down and wanders. She’d changed nothing. Everything was exactly the same, as if just waiting for him to come back. He grins a little at the thought. Sentiment is something that comes easily to him, so he lets himself remember all of the good times he had had with his family in this place. Did he really want to leave Chicago? Leave their home? And now Greg was gone. Their other friends would need them. He rubs a hand over his chest, mourning his friend. It hadn’t hit him completely yet, but he knew it would come soon.
 
Luka has just settled himself on the couch when the door opens and Abby comes in. She hesitates a little before smiling at him and tossing her bag and keys on the table. She stands there looking at him, searching his face. Her smile lights up when Joe runs to her and clutches her legs. She lifts him carefully. “Hi buddy.” She turns to Luka. “And hi to you too.”
 
Luka’s smile quirks. “Hi. Ah, we just got here.”
 
Abby nods and carries Joe over to set him down with his toy box. She moves over to sit next to Luka on the couch. “Did he eat?”
 
“Yeah. Did you?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “I’m not hungry. Maybe in a little while.” She gives him a quelling look while part of her wants to stand up and do a happy dance when he opens his mouth to lecture her about good nutrition. “Don’t start.”
 
Luka grins a little. “Sorry. Old habits die hard.” He reaches over to stroke her hair. “How are you feeling? Physically I mean.”
 
“The ankle is actually worse than the arm.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows. “Why the hell didn’t you get some crutches?”
 
She rolls her eyes. “I hate them.”
 
“Nobody

likes

being on crutches, Abby. Christ. You know damn well you shouldn’t be weight bearing.” He rises and stalks to the hall closet where they had a couple of extra pairs of them stashed. They were doctors, after all. Luka comes back toward her scowling as she grins at him. “What?”
 
He sits beside her and begins to adjust the crutches to her height. “Nothing. It’s just nice to see you irritated with me over something this stupid.”
 
He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. “To be honest….It feels good.” He pulls her foot into his lap and begins to take off the compression bandage. “Did you get a picture of this too?”
 
“No.” She snickers when Luka sighs. “Negative Tap and Compression tests. Point tender on the ATF and CF. Positive drawer and tilt. It’s a sprain, Luka.”
 
“You know very well you could have an avulsion.”
 
“No tenderness at the base of the fifth or either malleolus.” She cocks her head when he starts an eval. “Archie already did all that.”
 
“Shut up. I want to make sure.” He smiles a little when she hisses as he checks her range of motion and palpates her bones. “All right. I’m going to get you some ice.”
 
“Thanks.” She watches him as he goes to the kitchen to retrieve it. He pulls her foot back into his lap when he returns and places the bag. She smiles when he strokes his hand up her leg. Abby clears her throat. “Luka…”
 
He turns his head to look at her. “What?”
 
She sighs. “What do we do now?”
 
Luka’s first instinct is to shrug it off and pretend that everything was back to normal. But it wasn’t. He shakes his head. “I don’t know. But I

do

know that I want us to be together. I want us to figure this out.”
 
Abby nods. “Could you put Joe to bed?” She shifts a little to pull her leg from his grip. “I don’t want to get into everything in front of him.”
 
He nods and takes her hand for a squeeze. “Sure.” Luka scoops Joe up and hangs him upside down in front of Abby, making them both laugh. She kisses Joe goodnight and watches as Luka takes their son upstairs.
 
She leans back on the cushions of the couch, trying to keep her leg elevated. She had to admit that it had felt better sitting in Luka’s lap than it had all evening. But that might just be all in her head. Abby sighs a little. She was nervous about the conversation to come, but she also had more hope than she’d had in months. She hoped he would stay here tonight. Hold her, let her hold him. They hadn’t made love since Croatia, and that had been...fraught. A little angry. She wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. Hell, she wasn’t sure

she

was ready yet. But she needed contact with him, if nothing more than just being in his arms for the night.
 
She swallows as he comes back down the stairs and sits with her again, drawing her feet back into his lap. “So…”
 
Luka strokes her leg. “So. Did they give you anything for the pain?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Just Tylenol. I’m going to take some ibuprofen too. The combo helps. I didn’t want narcotics, Luka.”
 
He smiles. “Of course not. That’s not why I asked. You just look like you need something.”
 
She smiles a little. “I’m fine for now. The ice helped. So, were you serious about us leaving?”
 
Luka continues to stroke her leg. “I’m not sure. I think….I think it would be good for us. To go somewhere else. Somewhere we can just be together with Joe. Without all of the bullshit from the past.”
 
Abby nods. “Where?”
 
Luka smiles. “We could stick a needle in a map.”
 
She snorts. “A pin.”
 
“What’s the difference?”
 
Abby frowns. “There isn’t much of one, actually.” She laughs a little. “How about Boston? It’s a great city. Kind of like Chicago, but just different enough for us.”
 
Luka quirks a smile at her. “Okay. I actually know some people. I’ll make some calls.”
 
“Are we really going to be okay?” She asks him softly.
 
“Abby. I...well, first, I owe you an apology.”
 
“No, you don’t Luka.”
 
“I do. I should never have left you alone for so long. I should have known when you begged me to come home that something was really wrong. I didn’t. That’s something I want to work on. I told you earlier that I had this set idea of us. I realized that sometimes I can be…” He searches for the right word, “...blind to your needs. I promised you when we got married that we would do this together, and then I just left.”
 
“You had a good reason, Luka. I’m sorry I threw that in your face.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “The reasons don’t matter. I failed you, and I hurt you. Then I blamed you when things got messed up.”
 
Abby twists her hands in her lap. “You had every right to.”
 
“No I didn’t. I’ve thought a lot about it the last few weeks. I called my brother, who basically told me to fuck off and stop being an idiot.” He laughs a little. “But I realized that there was plenty of blame for me. Enough that it balances out what I can blame you for. I want to get past that blame and hurt.” He takes her hand and lifts it to his lips. “I love you, Abby. So fucking much that I can’t breathe with it sometimes. I need you. I need

us

. You’re my world. You and Joe. You’re everything.” He leans over to kiss her. Just a soft kiss that makes her sigh and lift her good hand to run it through his hair.
 
“Luka.” She pulls back and looks him in his eyes. Eyes that were soft and tender and...hopeful. “I love you so much. I just want you to be sure…”
 
“Abby. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He tips his forehead to hers and strokes her neck. “I need you, and I’ll do everything that I can to make this work.” Luka kisses her nose. “I told you once that I would never let anything take this away from us. And then I almost took it away from you myself. I’m sorry for that too.” He sighs. “Wherever we go, whether we stay here or go somewhere else...you’re my home, Abby. You, me and Joe. As long as we’re together.”
 
Abby swallows over the lump in her throat. She doesn’t bother wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Will you be able to...to be with me?”
 
Luka smiles softly at her. “Abby. I’ve never stopped wanting you. Not once. I would lie in bed at the other place and

ache

for you. It was never about that. It was just hard because…” he trails off.
 
Abby hangs her head a little. “I know. I…” She shrugs, helpless. There’s nothing she can say to make up for what she had done.
 
He tips her head back again. “Hey. I love you. I want you. So much. If you weren’t injured and bruised from head to foot, I’d make love to you right now and prove it.” He grins at her.
 
“I feel okay.” She smiles tentatively at him.
 
He laughs. “No you don’t. But nice try. Let’s wait a little while, okay? I want you feeling better than just ‘okay’ when we make love again.” He strokes his hand over her hair.
 
“But you’ll stay tonight?” Abby bites her lip and looks at him.
 
“My plan is to stay with you forever.” He rises and scoops her into his arms to carry her up to bed. “You can’t walk on that ankle.”
 
Abby smiles and strokes his hair. “I was thinking earlier that I wanted you to just hold me tonight. Will that be okay?”
 
He kisses her slow and sweet. “Always.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby wakes slowly, a little disoriented. There’s a large arm encircling her waist, and a large hand on her hip. There’s also loud snoring and breath warm on her neck.

Luka.

She opens her eyes and smiles, stroking his hand. The events of yesterday starting to play clearly in her mind. The snoring stops when she feels Luka tug her closer and sigh. She turns over in his arms and looks into his smiling eyes. “Hi.” Abby lifts her hand to run it through his hair.
 
“Hi.” He tips his head down to kiss her softly. “You’re not going to work today.”
 
Abby scowls for form. “Archie already told me not to even try.”
 
“Good. Just reiterating. You can’t work with those injuries anyways.” Luka snickers and kisses her again when she starts to argue. “Shut up. Marnie is picking Joe up, so you have the day to recuperate. We’ll take it day by day.”
 
She sighs. “Fine.” Abby strokes his shoulder, just needing to touch him. “What are your plans?”
 
Luka tugs her even closer. “I have to go in to work for a bit. Give my notice and finish up the charts on one of the patients who left.”
 
“You’re giving your notice already?” Abby frowns.
 
“I think so.” His brow furrows. “I’m an ER doctor. This was a nice change, but it’s not what I want to keep doing.”
 
“I have to stay through July you know.”
 
Luka nods. “I know. I just want to give them a heads up. Whatever we decide on, I’m going back to emergency medicine.”
 
“County would take you back in a heartbeat.”
 
He smiles. “I know that too. We’ll figure it out.”
 
Abby smiles tentatively at him. “Ah, okay. What else do you have planned?”
 
Luka strokes her hip. “I thought I’d go start clearing out the other place, and give notice there too. Do you want to come? You can sit and help me pack boxes. We can talk some more. There’s not much.”
 
Abby swallows hard. She appreciates that he didn’t say “my place”. “What about the lease?” She hadn’t even asked about any of that. Hadn’t wanted to know.
 
“It’s a monthly.”
 
Abby lets out a breath, oddly relieved to find that out.
 
Luka strokes a finger down her cheek and tilts her head back so he can look in her eyes. “Hey. I never intended to stay there for long. I realized that when I was looking at places and wouldn’t even consider a long-term. I just needed space to work things through. I’d like it if you came with me, but I understand if you can’t.”
 
Abby smiles softly at him. Right now, she’d do anything he asked of her. “Sure, I’ll come.”
 
“Good.” He leans in to take her mouth with his in a slow, deep kiss. Groaning, Luka shifts his hips back from her. “Sorry.”
 
“For what?” Abby kisses the corner of his mouth, knowing

exactly

why he’d moved. It gave her so much hope to know that he still wanted her.
 
He chuckles. “You know for what.” He rubs his hand over her hip.
 
“I told you I feel fine.” Abby smiles a little.
 
Luka rolls her so she’s on her back and shifts so he’s holding himself over her, but not putting any weight on her. He drops his head to her neck and nuzzles, making her smile and gasp. “And I told

you

that I want you feeling more than fine.” Luka trails his lips over her jaw. “I want to make love with you again, Abby. Slowly, thoroughly, and for a very,

very

long time.” He takes her mouth with his again.
 
“You’re not helping your case right now.” She manages when he lets her breathe again.  
 
Luka laughs. “I’m not helping myself, either.” He lays back beside her, stroking her arm. “It’s not just your injuries. I want to make sure it’s right. That you’re ready.”
 
Abby turns her head to him. “Luka, it’s always been right between us. I can’t believe that it won’t be again. The way we fit together…” She shakes her head, unsure how to say what she needed to. “It’s

never

been that way for me before. Not with anyone. You’re it for me. There could never be anyone else.”
 
Luka’s eyes crinkle when he smiles, oddly reassured that it was

only

him she wanted. “It’s the same for me, at least…” he trails off.
 
Abby scoots closer to him and turns his face farther toward her. She kisses his nose. “Since Danielja. It’s okay.” It really was. His first wife, one who had died tragically, was no longer the ghost between them like she used to be. “That doesn’t bother me at all.”
 
Luka nods and wraps his arms more tightly around her. “I know. But my point is, it’s been awhile for us. A lot has happened. I just want to make it...right.” He kisses her head and smiles when Joe’s babbling comes through the monitor. “And there’s another reason to wait. I’ll get him. Do you want some coffee?”
 
Abby grins when he disentangles himself from her to rise. “As long as you make it right.”
 
He rolls his eyes. “My way

is

right. But I’m not drinking it anyways, so fine.”
 
Abby smiles as he goes out, so happy to have him home.
 
**********************************

Abby struggles out the door of the apartment, frustrated. Why hadn’t they considered the logistics of being on crutches with a broken wrist? And this many fucking stairs?
 
Luka comes through the outer doors. “Hey. What are you doing? I told you I’d come in for you.”
 
She gives him a fuming look. “I didn’t want you to have to come all the way up.”
 
“Goddamnit Abby.” He watches her struggle with the crutches. His lips twitch in amusement. “I didn’t think of the wrist when I made you use those.”
 
Abby gives him a baleful glance. “Obviously.”
 
Luka snickers and scoops her up, leaving the crutches in the hall. He kisses her nose. “We’ll get you a wheelchair.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “You think this is funny, don’t you?” She shifts when Luka drops her gently in the passenger seat of his car and moves around to the other side to climb behind the wheel.
 
“Not really. But you’re cute when you’re like this. All grumpy and pissy.” He takes her hand and brings it to his lips. “Let me take care of you for once, okay?”
 
Abby smirks while everything in her warms. “Okay. I’m

not

using a wheelchair. Are you going to carry me around for a few weeks?”
 
He smirks back. “If I have to. But I don’t think it will be necessary. I’ll convince you to use one.”
 
“Luka…”
 
“Hey. I’m good at convincing you to do things. I got you to marry me, didn’t I?”
 
Abby softens. “Yeah. Anyways, how did it go at work?”
 
“Okay. The director said he knew I wasn’t long for the place anyways.”
 
“What about your charts? That has to be hard when you lose a patient there.”
 
Luka smiles. “It is, but this one didn’t die. He was discharged.”
 
“From a Hospice?” Abby’s brow furrows in confusion.
 
“I know. It surprised me. We actually have him to thank for me coming to see you yesterday. He gave me the last kick in the ass that I needed.” Luka smirks, wondering if he should tell her that punching that fucker Moretti had helped too, but decides against it. “I got to know Walter pretty well. He gave me a push. He told me he had faith in me and that I’d figure it out.” He glances over at her. “I’m grateful to him for it.”
 
Abby smiles. “Me too.” She glances around when he pulls to a stop in front of a small apartment building. She hadn’t been here before. Hadn’t wanted to see where he was living without her. “Is this it?”
 
“Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay with this? I’m sorry I…”
 
Abby smiles. “No, it’s okay. I think...well, I think we should do this together.”
 
Luka smiles and climbs out of the car, coming around to her side. He bends down to lift her when she bats his hands away.
 
“Just help me. I don’t want you carrying me everywhere. We look stupid.”
 
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes but gets his arm under her shoulder and starts to help her walk in a modified fireman’s carry. “Does this work?”
 
“We still look stupid, but better.” She waits while he opens the outer door and then begins to climb the stairs with him. It’s slow going, but they manage to make it to the apartment, both of them giggling at the absurdity of it at this point. The door across the hall opens.
 
“Doctor Kovač, I wanted to…” The woman stops smiling when she sees Abby. “Oh, hi.”
 
Abby raises a brow at her. “Hi.”
 
Luka clears his throat. “Did you need something Merilee?”
 
The woman studies him, then Abby. She raises her eyebrows. “Not really. I noticed you didn’t come home last night.”
 
“Yeah. I stayed at home. This is my wife, Abby. Abby, this is Merilee. The neighbor.”
 
Merilee sniffs. “Nice to meet you. Well, I should get back to cooking lunch.”
 
Abby gives Luka a curious look when he ushers her in to the apartment. “Was she

waiting

for you?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Probably. She always seems to notice when I’m coming or going.”
 
Abby snorts. “That’s a little…”
 
“Creepy. Yeah.” He smiles at her. “She never tried to break in and boil a kitten or anything, so I think she’s harmless.”
 
“It’s a bunny.” She says absently. Abby glances around at the spare surroundings. He already had some boxes stacked. “You already started?”
 
“I never unpacked a lot of stuff.” He shrugs. “Just the basics.”
 
Abby smiles sadly. “Okay. So where do you want to start?”
 
“I ah, thought I’d do the bedroom. Do you want to pack up the books and toys I brought over for Joe? They’re over by the couch. You can sit there while you pack them.” He grabs a box and hands it to her.
 
Abby nods and limps over to the small, shabby sofa. “What about the furniture?”
 
“It’s all rented. I just have to call the company. They’ll pick it up.”
 
Abby sits and starts stacking and packing the few things that had migrated over here during their short separation. She was grateful that Luka hadn’t asked her to help in the bedroom. She wasn’t sure she could handle being in the space where he had slept apart from her. It broke her heart all over again to see this empty space. Living like a drifter again, like he had before they’d met.
 
Luka carries the two boxes he’d packed out of the bedroom. He sets them quickly aside when he finds her crying. He moves over to sit next to her. “Hey, hey.” He draws her into his arms. “Are you in pain?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “No. I’m so sorry, Luka.”
 
“For what?” He strokes her hair.
 
“For driving you away so you had to live like this again.” She wipes her cheeks. “For everything I did and said that made you need to leave.”
 
Luka closes his eyes and leans his head on hers. “I know you are, baby. I know.”
 
She shudders when he pulls her closer. “How can you ever forgive me?”
 
He draws back a little to look into her eyes and realizes with absolute certainty that he already had. “I forgive you Abby. For everything. I don’t want us to hold onto any resentments. Can you forgive

me?”

“Of course I can. I already have. Are you sure you can..”
 
He stops her with a soft kiss. “I’m sure. I love you, Abby.”
 
Abby closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “You know things will probably never be the same….”
 
Luka keeps his eyes steady on hers. “Maybe not. But you’ll always be the one for me. Nothing can change that. I’m coming home with you because there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be. And maybe things will be even better.” He smiles softly.
 
Abby knows she has a lot of work to do to let go of her own shame, but Luka didn’t lie to her. If he said he forgave her, that he wanted to be with her, he meant it. She smiles at him. “Okay. Thank you.”
 
“I can come back tomorrow and finish this…”
 
Abby shakes her head. “No. Let’s just get it done and over with.” She grins at him. “I’m not sure I want to let you come back here alone. Merilee might abduct you and chain you in her apartment.”
 
Luka snorts and moves into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and starting to pull things out. “It’s a possibility.”
 
“Exactly.” Abby manages to limp her way to the table and sit, she starts packing food in boxes as he brings it over. She lifts a brow when he hands her a box of Lucky Charms.
 
He shrugs and looks sheepish. “I bought it automatically one day. I didn’t even realize it until I got home.”
 
Abby feels tears start to gather again. Luka

hated

Lucky Charms, but it was her favorite cereal. She clears her throat. “Oh.”
 
Luka lays a hand on her shoulder and squeezes. “See? You were always on my mind.” He turns to the cupboards to pull out the cheap dishes he’d bought, strangely embarrassed. “Ah, should we just donate these?”
 
Abby smiles at him. “Sure. We don’t need more dishes, and it will be more to move, if we do.”
 
Luka nods. “Okay. Listen, if you want to finish packing this up, I’ll go down and see if I can get the teenagers who live downstairs to help me carry these boxes and the TV down. And I’ll see if the landlord is there.”
 
Abby shrugs. “Sure. Watch out for Merilee!” She calls after him and watches his grin flash.
 
An hour later they had everything cleared out of the apartment and stacked in the back of the SUV. The teens who had helped carry things had been easy. Luka gave them each a twenty and they’d seemed genuinely pleased to help. Luka had called the rental company and made arrangements for the landlord to let them in to take the furniture. He never had to come back there.
 
“Did you say goodbye to your friend the stalker?” Abby snickers when he gets behind the wheel.
 
Luka slides his eyes over at her. “Yeah. She came out and interrogated me when I went up to take a final pass. She wanted to make sure I was ‘doing the right thing’.” He rolls his eyes.
 
Abby grins, amused in spite of herself. “What did you tell her?”
 
“That I was moving back home to be with my wife and child, and that’s

always

the right thing.” He smiles at her. “I won’t miss this place.”
 
“Owen and Nate seemed like good kids.”
 
Luka nods. “They are. They’ve come up and hung out a few times when I’ve had Joe. Owen wants medical school.”
 
“That’s nice.” Abby leans back and sighs. “Is Marnie dropping Joe off?”
 
“Yeah, at five. We’ve got a couple of hours. You should take a nap.” He looks over at her in concern when she only nods. She looked worn out. Luka parks the car and comes around to help her. “I’m carrying you this time. Deal with it.”
 
Abby snickers at his forceful tone. They were sliding back into their normal rhythm. It was nice. “Fine.” She lifts her arms for him and he scoops her up.
 
“I’m going to put you to bed, and then come back and bring the food in. The rest can wait.”
 
Abby nods and leans her head on his shoulder. She’s asleep before he gets to the door. He chuckles softly and grabs the crutches they’d left in the hall. He takes her straight up to their bedroom and lays her down, pulling the duvet over her. Luka leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Volim Te, Mrs. Kovač.” He murmurs.
 
Luka comes back upstairs after putting the perishables away to find Abby still sleeping. He checks his watch. Barely three. He could do with a nap himself. He stretches out beside her.
 
Abby wakes thirty minutes later to find her husband, snoring softly beside her, gripping her breast. He had always been a sleep groper. She would often wake to find him with his hands in places that she definitely liked them to be. She smiles a little and shifts.
 
Her movement pulls Luka out of his slumber. He realizes where his hand is, and instinctively starts to move it, when she brings hers up to cover it. He opens his eyes to find her watching him. “Abby…” His thumb begins to gently stroke her, circling her nipple through her t-shirt.
 
“Luka…” Abby whispers his name, letting her head fall back and biting her lip.
 
Luka slides his hand down her side, stroking gently as he leans over to kiss her. He strokes her mouth open with his tongue, sliding in to tangle with hers. “Are you sure?” He whispers against her mouth.
 
“Yes.” She breathes, lifting his shirt up and over his head with her good hand. She strokes his back, relishing in the feel of his bare flesh after so long.
 
All of his worries and doubts and fears slid away in the bliss of holding her like this again. He slides her shirt over her head gently, careful not to jostle her arm. “We’ll go as slowly as you want.” He lowers his mouth to her neck, nibbling gently at the juncture with her shoulder, his hand sliding down to stroke her knee, where he knew she was sensitive to his touch.
 
Abby gasps. “Not too slowly, I hope.” She manages, stroking her hands over his shoulders and back, exploring as if it were the first time she’d touched him.
 
Luka shifts so he can slide down her body, mindful of her injuries. He flicks open the center clasp of her bra, baring her to him. Groaning, he takes her breast in his mouth, a strangled sound escaping him.
 
Abby smiles and moans as she strokes his hair. She had missed this, missed

him

, so much. Having him touch her again like this was overwhelming. His weight on her was comforting. She can feel him, hard and thick against her. She needed him inside her, and soon. “Luka…”
 
He looks up from her belly, where he had been lavishing kisses. “Hmm?” He slides his hand between her legs, cupping her over her jeans, causing her to cry out.
 
She tilts his head back with a fingertip. “I need you.”
 
Luka nods and slides back up to kiss her. He peels the jeans over her hips, while she fumbles one-handed with his belt. He chuckles and helps her along with that, until they’re both naked. Exposed to each other. Luka braces himself over her, watching her with hope and love in his eyes.
 
Abby brings her good hand up to stroke his cheek, drawing him down to kiss her again. “Now…” she breathes.
 
Luka sinks into the kiss as he slips slowly inside her. It was like coming home, like a feast after a famine. An oasis in the desert. Like any other goddamn cliche you could think of. He finds Abby’s hands with his and starts to thrust, slowly. Strong and deep, drawing out the pleasure.
 
Abby tightens her grip on his hands, continuing to kiss him as her hips rise and fall. She lets him set the pace, knowing the pleasure he brought her would overwhelm her.
 
“Moja ljubavi…” Luka murmurs against her mouth as he quickens the pace, relishing in her moans and gasps. “Moja srce…” He continues whispering endearments in his native tongue, trailing his lips over her jaw, up to her ear to nibble as he thrusts hard and deep. He groans when Abby cries his name and clutches around him, her orgasm coming in waves. He takes her mouth with his again and empties himself into her.
 
After, Luka shifts so he can cuddle her to his side. He strokes her hair gently, overwhelmed at what had just happened.
 
Abby tilts her head to look up at him. “Are you okay?”
 
“Mmm hmmm.” He smiles. “Are you?”
 
She smiles. “More than okay. I told you I felt fine…” she teases him.
 
Luka chuckles and kisses the top of her head. “Well, the best laid plans or whatever the saying is.”
 
Abby snickers. “You actually got one right.” She shifts up so she can kiss him. “Thank you.” She murmurs.
 
“For what?” He strokes her jaw.
 
“For loving me enough to give me another chance. For forgiving me. For being my best friend.” She takes his hand and brings it to her lips, grinning. “For being a fantastic lover.”
 
“Abby.” He leans in to kiss her again, slow and sweet. “Right back at you.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka takes Abby’s hand at the door to the apartment. “Wait. Aren’t I supposed to carry you or something?”
 
She snorts and grins at him. “I think that ship has sailed. We’ve been living together for quite awhile.”
 
“So?” He laughs and scoops her up. “Let’s at least be a little bit traditional.”
 
Abby shakes her head and reaches for the doorknob. “By all means.” She’s laughing as he carries her over the threshold of the home they already shared. He stops to kiss her soundly and kicks the door closed behind them.
 
Both of them blush in surprise when Ellen applauds from the couch. She grins at them. “Hi there, newlyweds.” She puts down the magazine she had been reading and rises. “Your son is sound asleep, the partying wore him out. So you shouldn’t have any...interruptions.” She raises an eyebrow, amusement twinkling in her eyes.
 
Luka clears his throat and sets Abby on her feet. “Okay. Ah, thanks for everything tonight.”
 
She walks to them and kisses both of their cheeks. “It was a beautiful wedding.” She squeezes Luka’s arm. “Nice job. And congratulations.” She gathers her purse.
 
Abby opens the door for her. “Thanks, Ellen.” She waves her off when the older woman just winks at her.
 
Luka steps behind her and closes the door, locks it. He places his hands on her hips and lowers his mouth to the back of her neck, sliding his arms around her. “It’s our wedding night…” he murmurs.
 
Abby turns in his arms. “I know. Do you think the sex will be different?”
 
Luka laughs and takes her mouth with his. “Let’s go upstairs and find out.”
 
Abby feels nerves flutter in her belly when he takes her hand to start upstairs. What the hell? She couldn’t count the number of times she had made love with Luka. She sighs a little. But this is the first time as his

wife.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to it.
 
Luka turns her at the edge of the bed, stroking a finger down her neck. “You okay?”
 
She giggles. “Believe it or not, I’m a little nervous.”
 
Luka chuckles and pulls her in, leaning his forehead on hers. “Thank God. I thought it was just me. Why are we nervous?” His hands stroke up and down her back. “It’s not like we’ve never done this before. We have a child for Christ’s sake.”
 
“Yeah. But it’s wedding night sex. It’s a big deal.” She grins up at him and links her arms around his neck. “Thank you for the best wedding I could have asked for.” She rises on her toes to kiss him softly.
 
“You’re welcome.” He murmurs against her mouth. Luka pulls back and reaches back to unclasp the pearls from her neck and hair. Setting them aside, he runs his fingers through her hair so it falls in soft waves around her shoulders. “Volim te, Mrs. Kovač.”
 
“Volim te, Mr. Kovač.” Abby murmurs as she loosens his tie. She sighs as he reaches around to unbutton her dress, and leans in to kiss his chest when she exposes it.
 
Luka slides the dress down her arms and smiles at what she’s wearing under it. “Where did this come from?” He trails a finger over the bodice of the teddy she’s wearing.
 
Abby lets her head fall back as his strong, deft hands continue to peel the dress off from her. “Hope. Apparently it made the dress drape right.” Her breath hitches when he leans in and trails his lips along her collar bone.
 
“God bless her.” Luka hitches Abby up and turns to lie her down. Shedding the rest of his suit, he slides onto the bed with her. Luka shivers when her arms reach for him, and groans when she presses her lips to his shoulder. “I love you, moja žena.”
 
Abby’s lips curve as his hands slide down, stroking the silk of her lingerie. His lips sliding over her neck and nibbling at her ear. “What does that mean?” She whispers.
 
Luka lifts his head and smiles at her. “My wife.” He slides down her body, taking her breast in his mouth through the thin layer of silk. “My heart.” He murmurs as his hand slides down to cup her center. “My only.” Luka grins as her hips writhe up and her breath rushes through her lips. His fingers slide under the material, finding her hot and wet. He groans and continues to play her with his hands, taking her nipple in his teeth and biting lightly.
 
Abby chokes out his name as she orgasms, arms going limp as he peels the teddy down. “Luka…”
 
“Shh.” His eyes are dark and intense as he bares her to him. “I’m not finished.” He lowers his lips to her belly, kissing and licking his way down, down, until he closes his mouth over her. Luka relishes in her moans as he uses his mouth to pleasure her. He lets out a sound of triumph as she comes again.
 
Abby’s eyes are nearly crossed with pleasure when he slides up her body again, worshipping her with his lips. She feels his erection against her and reaches between them to guide him up and into her. “God.

Luka.

”
 
Luka nearly growls as he takes her lips with his in a fierce, possessive kiss and starts to move. The pace is slow and steady, drawing out the pleasure for both of them. He finds her hands with his, twining their fingers together as he thrusts. This woman was his world, and this act is how he could show her. Luka quickens the pace when he feels her begin to tighten around him. Groaning, he lowers his mouth to hers again and empties himself as she falls over the edge again.
 
Abby’s arms come around him and she chuckles when he collapses on her. “So. We definitely nailed the wedding night sex thing.”
 
Luka lifts his head and his eyes twinkle at her. “Yeah. The nerves are gone.” He shifts so she’s tucked against his side. “Give it a few minutes and we’ll see if we can improve it.”
 
Abby snorts. “I don’t know if it can be topped.”
 
Luka pinches her hip. “Is that a challenge?”
 
She tilts her head back to look at him. “You can’t be serious.”
 
Luka rolls so he’s on top of her again and drops a kiss on her nose. “I’m completely serious. It’s our wedding night. You don’t think I’m going to let you sleep, do you?”
 
Abby chuckles and strokes his back. “Of course not. I love you, Luka.”
 
He takes her mouth again. “I love you too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“What are you doing?” Luka comes into his bedroom to find Abby, stripped to the waist except for her tank, and turned sideways in front of the mirror.
 
She shrugs. “Trying to decide if I look pregnant or just fat.”
 
His eyebrows shoot up and his lips twitch. “Seriously?” Luka sits on the edge of the bed to watch her.
 
“Yeah. Morris made that ‘puffy’ comment a few weeks ago.” Abby shrugs again and turns toward him. “I guess it bugged me a little.”
 
Luka holds out a hand for her. He tugs her in close and lays his head on her belly. “I told you. Women look their most beautiful when they’re pregnant.” He lifts his face to smile at her. “Especially you.” He strokes his hand over the bump that was forming. He lays his lips on her stomach and smiles. “Right? Tell mama she looks gorgeous.”
 
Abby smiles and strokes his hair, giggling a little when the baby kicks. “He’s getting more active.”
 
“And already listening to me.” Luka grins at her and rises to get ready for bed.
 
“At least my boobs are bigger. That’s a nice side benefit.”
 
Luka chuckles as he pulls on sweats and climbs into the bed. “I’m not complaining.”
 
“I noticed.” Abby pulls pajama pants out of one of the drawers he’d cleaned out for her. They might as well just admit they were living together, but it still seems a little too weird to make that leap. She crawls into bed beside him, smiling again when he tugs her over to spoon. She strokes his hand. “Thanks for deciding to stay.”
 
Luka presses a kiss to her head. “I’m sorry I even considered going. It was stupid of me.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “No it wasn’t. I know Africa is important to you…”
 
“Not as important as you.” He murmurs. “I should have thought about how my leaving would make you feel, and I didn’t. I didn’t mean to make you think going to help Carter was more important to me than staying with you and helping you through this. Because it’s not.”
 
She turns over in his arms to kiss him. “I know that.” Abby strokes his cheek. “Why didn’t you say anything to Carter about us?”
 
His lips curve. “You have to ask?”
 
“Well...yeah.” She raises a brow.
 
Luka lays a hand on her hip and strokes. “A couple of reasons. First, I felt like telling him we were having a baby might be a little insensitive…”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah, maybe.”
 
“I know it’s been over a year, but…”
 
“But he’s still not over it. He probably never will be.” Abby closes her eyes.
 
“He won’t. But it will get a little easier with time.”
 
Abby smiles sadly at him and takes his hand. She kisses his palm. “What else?”
 
Luka strokes her cheek. “I...I guess I was afraid of upsetting you.”
 
Her brow furrows. “Why?”
 
He blows out a breath. “Abby, I know you’re with me now. But sometimes I still wonder what might have happened if he hadn’t stayed in Africa.”
 
Abby disentangles herself from him to sit up and stare down at him. “Seriously?”
 
“Yeah.” Luka bites his lip.
 
A snide remark is on her lips before she checks herself. She shakes her head. “We still would have broken up, Luka. Carter and I weren’t working for a long time….even before he went.”
 
He takes her hand. “He was going to ask you to marry him…”
 
“But he didn’t.”
 
“Would you have said yes?” He watches her steadily.
 
“I...I honestly don’t know. But I

do

know, especially now, that it still wouldn’t have worked. I didn’t love him.”
 
Luka raises a brow. “You didn’t?”
 
“No. I realized that pretty quickly after I read that fucking letter. Probably before that, but the letter made it crystal clear. I wasn’t hurt, or heartbroken. Just pissed and annoyed that he didn’t have the balls to do it in person. Or at least over a phone call.” She scowls.
 
Luka smirks. “Overseas phone calls are expensive.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “He can afford it.”
 
“True.” He tugs her back down. “I’m glad you told me that. I always thought…”
 
She leans in to kiss him. “You thought wrong.” Abby smiles a little. “Besides, according to him, I was hung up on

you

for too long anyways. Jesus, the two of you were ridiculous.”
 
Luka chuckles. “What made him think that?” He runs a finger along her side and up to her ribcage.
 
Abby sucks in a breath as a tingle runs through her. She shifts to tangle her legs with his. “I have no idea.” She snickers. “Though, I

might

have said your name at a very….inopportune time.”
 
Luka’s hand stills before it can continue its journey under her tank. He rolls to his back and starts laughing.
 
Abby grins. “It only happened once…” Luka is practically wheezing now. “Okay, it wasn’t

that

funny.”
 
“No, no.” He pulls her head in to kiss her soundly. “It’s just...that might have happened to me too.”
 
Abby lifts a brow. “Really? With who?”
 
“Ah...Sam.” He grins at her.
 
“Oh my God.” Abby props herself on her elbows to stare at him. “I still have to work with her, knowing that.”
 
Luka shrugs, but his chest is still rumbling with laughter. “It was fairly early in our relationship. I doubt she remembers.”
 
“That is

not

something you forget, Luka.” She rolls her eyes, and then cocks her head. “We hadn’t been together for over two years at that point.”
 
Luka shrugs again and looks sheepish. “That doesn’t mean I forgot about you, or stopped caring.”
 
Abby snuggles down next to him again and strokes his hair. “We’re kind of pathetic, huh?”
 
Luka rolls so he’s looking down at her, his expression full of fun and affection. “I like to think of it that we always would have ended up here. That we belong together.”
 
She smiles and pulls his head down to kiss him. “That’s a good way of looking at it.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“So how was it?” Luka reaches over for Abby’s hand after he merges onto the Skyway.
 
Abby tilts her head over to smile at him. “It was...good. I tried to keep it quiet that I was leaving, but everyone figured it out anyways. Except Morris.”
 
Luka snorts. “That’s somehow very fitting.”
 
“Yeah. Neela’s a little pissed at me.” Abby sighs. “I just didn’t know how to tell her, and I hate big, emotional scenes.”
 
“I’m sure she’ll forgive you.” Luka kisses her fingers. “It’s hard to stay mad at you.”
 
Abby smiles a little. “Good thing.” She shifts so she can watch the city go by. “I’m going to miss Chicago.”
 
“Me too.” He squeezes her hand. “We had a great life here. We have good memories. We’ll make a great life and other memories anywhere we go, Abby.”
 
She nods and glances in the backseat, Joe wasn’t sleeping yet, but it was close. “I hope this road trip idea doesn’t backfire on us.”
 
Luka smirks. “It could go either way. That’s why we bought the portable DVD player, remember?”
 
Abby didn’t want to be one of those parents who parked their kid in front of a screen for entertainment. But if it was a choice between letting him watch Toy Story in the backseat or having him scream their ears off for fourteen hours of drive time, she’d choose the easy way every time. “Yeah. And we’re stopping in a few hours anyways.” She smiles at him. “You’re okay driving?”
 
“Joe and I took a nap. You should get some sleep too.”
 
“Maybe in awhile. I’m too wired right now.” She shifts and curls her legs under her. “Get this, Haleh has a secret wall.”
 
Luka glances over at her as he slows to go through the last toll before I-90. “What?”
 
“We’re all up there. Everyone who worked at County and left.”
 
“Really?” Luka smiles a little at the thought.
 
“Yeah. I was trying to sneak off with my nameplate. She caught me, and told me to come with her.” Abby snickers. “I thought...I don’t know what I thought she was gonna do.”
 
Luka laughs. “You don’t mess with Haleh.”
 
“Exactly. But she brought me into one of the storage areas, way in the back. She handed me your nameplate and told me I was the only person to get to put two up.” She gives him a smug look.
 
Luka scowls for form. “Now I’m jealous.”
 
Abby shrugs. “If you hadn’t been avoiding County like the plague, she probably would have shown you too.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “Fine, point taken.”
 
“Anyways, it was pretty cool. Seeing everyone up there. Even Greg and Michael and Lucy and Doctor Greene.”
 
Luka smiles sadly and strokes her thigh.
 
“Oh. Carter’s not on there.”
 
“What?” His brow furrows. “Why?”
 
“Haleh said he refused. That it was defacing government property.”
 
Luka laughs in a burst. “Sounds like him.”
 
Abby grins and twines her fingers with his again. “That’s what I said. I’m really going to miss everybody.”
 
“Me too.” Luka strokes her hand with his thumb. “What’s the new Chief like?”
 
“Kind of a bitch. But she seems to know her way around an ER. I guess we’ll find out. I’m sure Neela and Morris will be calling to check on us as often as they can.”
 
Luka smirks. “I have no doubt.” He taps his fingers on the steering wheel. “Hopefully we don’t hit too much construction.”
 
Abby snorts. “It’s summer in the northern Midwest, Luka. Otherwise known as construction season.”
 
He smiles a little. “Yeah.”
 
“We always joked that Minnesota has two seasons. Winter and construction.” Abby rolls her eyes. “It’s honestly amazing that anybody gets anywhere.” She stretches out her legs. “How far until South Bend?”
 
“About an hour, why?”
 
“Because I want to play tourist.” She grins when Luka snorts. “I’m hungry.”
 
“There are snacks in the back.” Luka raises a brow at her.
 
Abby smirks at him. “I want french fries, not rabbit food.”
 
“You’re a terrible nutritional example for Joe. You know that, right?”
 
“He already knows to do as I say, not as I do.”
 
Luka shakes his head and squeezes her wrist. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you when I find a McDonalds.”
 
Luka smiles as she grins and closes her eyes. He slides his fingers down to lace them with hers. He can’t seem to stop touching her these days. He sighs, stroking his thumb over her wedding ring. They had wasted so much time over the past year. Both of them too stubborn to admit that they needed each other more than ever.
 
Luka smiles as she starts to snore softly. She’s forever teasing him about

his

snoring, but he keeps the fact that she does it as well to himself. Abby has always been a fitful sleeper. But when she was still, she had this innocent, angelic quality. He thinks back to the first time he had woken with her next to him. Back in that hotel room that he’d lived in after he sold his boat. She had looked so beautiful and sweet. Naked, her hair a tumbled mess around her face, and smiling. He hadn’t been able to help himself, and had kissed her to wake her. She had come out of sleep slowly, looking confused and shy. So he’d kissed her again, and made love to her again, relishing in her gasps and sighs and how she made him feel. Abby had been the first woman he’d touched that way since Danielja died, and his feelings about it were a jumbled mess. But he knew one thing utterly. He had started falling in love with her that night, and he had never stopped. It had been a long and bumpy road for them, but it was worth all of the pain and drama and heartache to get here. Driving together into a whole new adventure. As long as they kept loving each other and working together, he knew without any doubts that they’d be okay.
 
Abby’s snoring stops and she squeezes his fingers gently. “Penny for your thoughts.”
 
Luka smiles a little. “Nothing, really.”
 
“Liar. You have that look.”
 
“I have a look?”
 
Abby snorts. “You have a lot of looks. One of the best

and

worst things about you is that every emotion shows on your face.”
 
“Really?” Luka shakes his head. “I never realized that.”
 
“Well, now you know. Really, what were you just thinking about?”
 
He smiles at her, and brings her hand up to kiss. “I was thinking about the first time I woke up next to you.”
 
Abby’s face goes soft. “Yeah? What was the verdict?”
 
“Well, you were naked.” Luka grins.
 
She smirks. “You too.”
 
“I was thinking that you look beautiful when you sleep.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “You’ve told me more than once that I thrash like a crazy person.”
 
“A beautiful crazy person.” He shakes his head. “But every once in awhile, you’re still and peaceful. It takes my breath away, Abby.”
 
He shifts his eyes over to her, almost shyly, and bites his lip in the way she knows he does when he’s being especially sweet and a little embarrassed about it. Abby shifts so she’s facing him and reaches over to stroke his hair. “I love you, Luka.”
 
He leans his head into her hand. “I know.” Luka clears his throat. “Look, there’s the yellow arches. Let’s get you some french fries. I think I want a milkshake.”
 
Abby smiles, feeling very loved. “A milkshake sounds fabulous.” She lifts a brow. “And it’s the Golden Arches.”
 
“I know that, too.”
 
*********************************

By the time they arrive at the hotel in Cleveland, it was two in the morning, and Abby was regretting the milkshake. She smiles at Luka when he comes back to the car from checking in and grabs the small bag they’d packed for the hotel. She lifts Joe from his car seat and rubs his back when he whines a little. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re going to sleep now, all of us.”
 
Joe gives her a pitiful look that reminds her of Luka when he’s tired. It amazes her daily that Joe has so many traits from both of them, but was still his own little person. “I sleep in big bed.”
 
Luka shrugs when she gives him a look. Joe had started coming in to their bedroom and trying to climb into bed with them soon after Luka had moved back home. Which had been somewhat inconvenient, considering the fact that they had been making up for lost time, a

lot

. Luckily, the bed was too high for him to see or get up on. On one memorable occasion, Joe had loudly demanded “Mama!” and had startled Luka so much, he’d shot off from being on top of her and had nearly toppled out of bed, bare ass naked. Abby giggles at the memory while Luka unlocks the door to their room.
 
Luka gives her a baleful stare, knowing

exactly

what she’s remembering. “Joe, they have your own bed for you to sleep in, see?”
 
Joe’s face scrunches up in mutiny. “Big bed. With Tata and Mama.”
 
Abby sighs. “It’s just for a couple of hours. We wanted to be back on the road by eight anyways.” Neither of them wanted to encourage this sudden desire to sleep with them, and they had spent more than a few nights bringing him back to his bed every few hours. They’d managed to discourage him enough that it only happened every couple of nights now, and only once.
 
Luka kicks off his shoes and shrugs. “Yeah. I guess it’s fine.”
 
“I’m going to shower. It was a long day, and that way we won’t have to fight over it in the morning.”
 
Luka smiles at her and nods, pulling Joe’s pajamas out of the bag. “Okay.” He tosses her her own pajamas and winks. “Guess we can’t be naked tonight.”
 
When she comes out fifteen minutes later, she finds her husband and son, already asleep. Luka had told her she was beautiful in her sleep; but she was absolutely sure it was

nothing

compared to what they both looked like right now. They slept nearly identically, and it was something she found completely adorable. Annoying, but adorable. Both of them were sprawled on the bed, one arm tossed over their head. Luka’s other arm was tucked protectively around his boy. Abby smiles as her heart feels like it’s going to burst. She crawls into the bed on the other side of Joe, resigned to being kicked in the stomach most of the night. She feels Luka’s arm slide over and pull her closer, so they’re all tangled together. She rubs his hand. “Shh. Don’t wake him up.” She whispers.
 
“Mmm. I won’t. Love you.” Luka’s voice is slurred, his accent thick.
 
Abby sighs and closes her eyes. He was right. As long as they had each other, everything was going to be just fine. “I love you too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka comes out of sleep slowly, a little disoriented until his eyes adjust to the moonlight coming through the window into Abby’s bedroom. He smiles a little. They’d been trading off nights at each other’s apartments...but spent a lot more time at his. The bed was bigger, and he took up a lot of space.
 
Abby was sprawled on her stomach next to him. They’d both worked long shifts that day, and hers had been particularly rough. Luka rolls to his side to watch her, trailing a finger down her spine. He grins when she shivers at his touch, even in her sleep, and her body curls further into him. Her lips are curved in a soft smile, as they often were when she slept. She has such soft, full lips. His fingers trail lightly over her jaw.  He loved kissing her.
 
Kissing was one of Luka’s favorite things to do. Not that he didn’t enjoy the rest,

a lot

, but kissing made everything better. His first kiss, at the age of fifteen, had been with the girl he would marry four years later. It had been shy and sweet, and reasonably chaste. A stolen moment on their walk home from school. Passion and romance and love would come later, but Luka would always remember that first kiss he’d shared with Danielja. How her eyes had stayed open and on his the entire time, her lips tasting of the chocolate bar he’d given her. Something deep and connected and

real

had stirred in him at that moment. He smiles a little, remembering. He’d been too stupid to be scared, and instead had practically danced home, where he’d endured his brother’s teasing for the rest of the night.
 
Luka finds it interesting that the two kisses that he remembers the most vividly are that first kiss with Danielja, and his first kiss with Abby. Probably because they were the only two women he’d ever truly, deeply loved. Not that he’d been able to admit that to Abby, he thinks, rolling his eyes. He’d been terrified by the depth of what he felt for her, and he hadn’t wanted to scare her away. He’d only ever said the words in Croatian, knowing she didn’t understand them. But that first, quick, impulsive kiss she’d given him had sparked something in him that he could only define as hope.
 
Luka had kissed a lot of women along the way. When he’d first started dipping his toes back into the dating pool, there had been Carol. They had been friends, and he had thought that maybe they could both move on from their pasts together. Kissing her was nice enough, but it hadn’t been what either of them wanted or needed. The love of

her

life was still alive and well. She had left to be with him, as she should have, telling Luka that he’d find the woman he was looking for someday. His lips curve as he trails his fingers along Abby’s shoulder. He was pretty certain he had. He just had to convince the woman in question.
 
After his and Abby’s breakup and her starting to date Carter, he’d spiraled into a deep depression, which caused him to seek comfort wherever he could find it. None of that had helped, and the women he’d been with along the way were rarely more than a distraction at best, and a punishment for himself at worst. He thanked God that he’d managed to salvage his friendship and work relationship with Chuny. Using her that way, even if she’d basically done the same to him, was one of his deepest regrets from that time.
 
Going to the Congo had saved his life, he muses. Even though it had also nearly ended it. The work he’d done there had fulfilled him in ways he couldn’t explain to anyone. And there had been Gillian. She was...a force. Kissing her had been like kissing a live stick of dynamite, and she had made no apologies for it. Everything about their physical relationship had been animalistic and raw. Looking back, he realizes she was

exactly

what he had needed at that time. He had cared about her, and she for him, but they never would have made anything out of their brief relationship.

Not

because of Sam, but because both of them were such volatile creatures.
 
Sam. Luka sighs a little. Her kisses had been enthusiastic, often passionate, sometimes angry. But

God

she had made him feel old half the time. His lips quirk in a wry smile at the amount of sheer drama he’d put up with from her. He had cared, very deeply, about Sam. But he hadn’t loved her, and couldn’t figure out for the life of him why he ever thought he had.
 
The night a few weeks ago that Abby had come over to yell at him about Clemente and he’d kissed her again, it had felt like coming home. Her lips fit against his as perfectly as her body did. They had a history and intimacy that he’d never had with anyone else. Not since Danielja, at least. But even that was different. It was a heady feeling, even as it terrified them both. He smiles at her sleeping form. There were times when he kissed her that she felt like his salvation. Like being with her made everything in his life more...everything. She was what had been missing from his life for the past four years, even though she had always been right there. He was still as deeply, ridiculously in love with her as he had been before. He knew now that he always would be.
 
Abby stirs and opens her eyes, looking into his with both annoyance and amusement. “You’re thinking too loud.” She mutters grumpily.
 
He grins and licks his lips. “Sorry.” He leans in to kiss her scowling mouth. The one he’d just been waxing poetic about. “Go back to sleep.” He tugs her over so she’s curled in his arms.
 
Abby takes his hand and sighs. “What were you thinking about?”
 
“Kissing.” Luka grins against her hair.
 
“Kissing who?”
 
“You, mostly.” He kisses her head.
 
“Mostly?” Abby lifts a brow and turns over in his arms to stare at him. “You’re thinking about kissing other women while you’re in bed, naked, with me?” She gives him a mock scowl.
 
“No...yes. Sort of.” He chuckles when she gives him the amused and indulgent look she reserves for when he’s stumbling over his words. “I was thinking that you’re my favorite person to kiss. My thoughts kind of rambled from there, sorry.” He smiles at her sheepishly.
 
Abby giggles. Actually

giggles

. She didn’t think anyone but Luka had ever made her do that. He looked so embarrassed. It was adorable. She strokes his stubbled cheek. “It’s okay. You’re my favorite person to kiss too.”
 
He turns his head to press his lips to her palm. “Really?”
 
Abby grins. “Well, you’re pretty good at it.”
 
Luka rolls her under him and raises his brow. “Just pretty good?”
 
She snickers and tangles her fingers in his hair, bringing his mouth close to hers. “Maybe you should show me just how good you are.”
 
“Maybe I should.” He whispers, bringing his lips to hers. His last thought before he loses himself in her, is that he hopes she lets him kiss her forever.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“She seems nice.” Gillian carefully helps Luka back into bed and secures his IV poll.
 
“She is.” Luka’s regrets over Abby were too close to the surface at the moment. He closes his eyes. “She’s the best.”
 
“What’s the story with her and John?” Gillian cocks her head and runs her hand over his forehead, sneakily checking for fever. Again. What she

really

wants to know is the story with Abby. Period. Luka had murmured her name in his delirium multiple times on the plane.
 
Luka’s lips curl. “He dumped her. In that letter. I wish I had known that’s what it said…”
 
She leans forward and rests her arms on the bed. “Why does it matter to you?”
 
Luka sighs. “Because I...I care about Abby. I always have, I always will.” He opens his eyes to look at her. He likes Gillian. A lot actually. But he knows there’s no future with her, and maybe she’ll understand. “We dated for over a year. It ended pretty badly, but we managed to become friends. She’s probably my best friend in the world.”
 
Gillian nods. “And John?”
 
Luka smiles a little. “Carter was part of the reason we broke up.” He rolls his eyes and smirks. “He liked to get in the way. Eventually, he wore her down.”
 
Gillian’s eyebrows shoot up. “He

stole

her from you? Somehow, I don’t see that happening.”
 
Luka shifts a little, trying to get comfortable on the bed. “No. They didn’t get together until about a year later.” He lifts his hand and lets it drop. “A lot of the blame is mine. I’m a terrible boyfriend.”
 
Gillian grins at him. “You

are

kind of an asshole. I agree.”
 
He grins back. “Yeah. It’s just...Carter was always there for her when I couldn’t or wouldn’t be.” He shrugs. “Abby got fed up. I didn’t blame her.”
 
“How long ago was all of this?”
 
“We broke up two years ago.”
 
Gillian squeezes his forearm. “That’s a long time.”
 
Luka nods and closes his eyes again. “It doesn’t seem like it. I miss her.” He murmurs it quietly.
 
Gillian smiles softly. “Do you want her back?”
 
Luka shakes his head emphatically. “She’s over me. I don’t want to mess up our friendship.”
 
“I’m not so sure she’s over you.” She whispers.
 
“She has to be. I’m not good for her. And I care enough about her to let her go.” He says stubbornly.
 
“Luka, whenever her name came up in the Congo, your face would change. I could tell your feelings about the way John spoke of her. Good and bad. I could see your feelings all over you.”
 
Luka winces. He hadn’t realized he was that transparent. “I’ve tried to stay out of their relationship. I didn’t want to put her in the same position she was in when we were together.”
 
“But you’re still protective of her. There’s nothing wrong with that, Luka.” Gillian strokes his hand. “Especially when you think someone might be hurting her.”
 
Luka sighs. “Carter doesn’t intentionally hurt her. He’s a good man, and he cares about Abby.” He couldn’t bring himself to say that Carter loved her. “He...he has expectations of people. He’s kind of an ass that way. When you don’t live up to those expectations, he lets you know it.” Luka smirks. “Trust me.”
 
“You don’t think Abby was meeting his expectations?”
 
He huffs out a breath. “I don’t know. Probably not. He always had her on this pedestal.” Luka shifts again, starting to tire. “I know how much hard work Abby can be. She pushes back at everything. Carter would get irritated with that. I think.” He shrugs. “I just think he thought she would be different with him or something.”
 
“Is she worth the hard work?” Gillian murmurs.
 
Luka closes his eyes and squeezes her hand. “Yeah.”
 
“Then John is stupid.” She smiles as Luka starts to snore softly. “So are you.”
 
Gillian smooths his blanket and tugs it up so it’s covering his shoulders. She leans back in the chair beside the bed and watches him sleep. It wasn’t jealousy she was feeling. It wasn’t anything she could define. She cares about Luka. More deeply than she’d expected, and more than she had any right to. She could see how easy it would be to fall in love with him.
 
She rises to look out the window at the city. She has a boyfriend. One she

did

love. All of this is so complicated and messy. And there was Abby. Gillian liked her a lot, and it was obvious that Luka loved her, even if he skirted around the words. She grins a little and looks back at him, sleeping peacefully in the bed. She hoped he would figure it out before it was too late.
 
*********************************

Paris France, Fall 2011

Gillian saunters into the sidewalk cafe and orders

une noisette.

She turns and leans casually on the counter while she waits. She loves Paris, everything about it. When her coffee is served, she pays and turns to take it outside so she can watch the street. A tall man sitting at a table with a young boy of about five catches her eye.
 
Gillian’s heart hitches. The thick, dark hair had gray now at the temples, but there was no mistaking that face. It wasn’t a face that a woman forgot. She watches as he leans forward and says something to the child, making him laugh. Wow. Definitely Luka’s child. That smile was unmistakable.
 
Before she could decide whether to approach or not, he turns his head. His smile turns to shock when he sees her watching them. “Gillian?” Luka rises when she squares her shoulders and moves toward them. He takes her hand and kisses her cheek. “This is a surprise.”
 
“Luka.” She smiles. “It’s good to see you.” She nods at the boy. “Who is this?”
 
Luka’s face lights up. “This is Joe.” He turns to his son. “Joe, say

bonjour

to Gillian.”
 
Joe grins widely. “

Bonjour

Gillian.” He says in a decent French accent.
 
“

Bonjour

, Joe.” Gillian smiles. “He’s beautiful, Luka. He looks just like you.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “He looks more like his mom.”
 
Gillian studies Joe and then notes Luka’s left hand. “You got married?”
 
Luka chuckles. “Well, this guy came along. Then we got married.”
 
Gillian laughs. “The blonde? What was her name?”
 
Luka winces. “Sam. And no…” He trails off as his wife comes up behind Gillian, holding three pastries and drinks. He nods as his eyes light up.  “See for yourself.”
 
Gillian turns and smiles wide, stupidly happy to see who it was. “Abby!”
 
It takes Abby a moment to figure out who the woman standing there beaming at her was. She laughs.

“Gillian?”

Gillian laughs and leans in to kiss both of her cheeks. “Hello. Luka was just introducing me to Joe.”
 
“I hope he was polite.” Abby raises a brow at her son, who was going through a bit of a snotty phase. Joe grins at her.
 
Gillian’s laugh bubbles out. “Extremely. He’s charming.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes and grins. “He gets that from his dad.”
 
“No doubt.” She grins when Luka shrugs and smiles, beaming at his son. “What are you all doing in Paris?”
 
“Can we sit? My hands are full here.” Abby nods at the table.
 
“Oh. Of course.” Gillian pulls a chair from a neighboring table and sits with them. “I didn’t expect to run into old friends.”
 
Luka blushes a bit, while Abby smirks and Joe watches them owlishly. Abby speaks up. “We’re visiting Carter and Kem. Joe and I have never been to Paris, and it’s been a long time for Luka.”
 
Luka’s hand reaches over to cover his wife’s after she distributes their breakfast. “We wanted to come before Joe starts school in a few weeks. We’re leaving tomorrow to visit my family in Croatia. What are you doing here? Still doing your penance in the Congo every year?” He grins at her.
 
Gillian smiles. “No, I finally gave that up. I’m working at Hôpital Necker.” She sips her coffee. I’ve always loved Paris, and it was time to settle down. I didn’t realize Carter lived here.”
 
“His wife grew up in the area. They keep a base here.”
 
Gillian smiles. “That’s nice. I’ll have to look them up. How’s Chicago?”
 
“Boston.” Abby smiles.
 
Gillian lifts a brow. “You moved?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “We wanted to try somewhere new. We like it there.” He squeezes Abby’s fingers. “If you’re ever in town, you should get in touch.”
 
Abby nods and smiles. “Absolutely.”
 
Gillian nods and finishes her coffee. She watches as Luka leans in to kiss his wife. He looked so happy. “I should go.” She rises. “It was wonderful seeing you.” She walks away from the table, so happy to know that Luka was married to Abby. That he’d had a child, and was happy and doing well.
 
Luka glances at Abby, who smiles at him and nods. She knows what he needs to say.
 
“Gillian.”
 
She turns when she hears Luka’s voice and sees him striding toward her. She stops. “Did I forget something?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “No.” He lays his hand on her arm. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I ended things.”
 
Gillian lifts a brow at him. “It was a long time ago, Luka. It’s fine.” She grins. “I’m happy to see you like this.”
 
“I know. I just wanted you to know. And I wanted to say thank you.”
 
“For what?”
 
“For everything. You helped me get my head on a little bit straighter. I wouldn’t be here with Abby and Joe without that. So just...Thanks.”
 
Gillian leans in to kiss his cheek. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you figured it out.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Three hours huh?” Abby leans her seat back in the little convertible they’d rented. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, so they had the roof down on their drive along the Adriatic on the Croatian coastline from Niko’s home near Dubrovnik to Šibenik.
 
Luka picks up her hand to kiss. “A whole weekend alone. That’s the takeaway here.”
 
Abby smirks and bats her lashes at him. “Why, Doctor Kovač. Are you saying you won’t miss our child?”
 
Luka grins at her. “Nope. I have important plans for our child’s mother. We’ll be too busy to miss him.”
 
Abby snorts even as her body tingles. The fact that it still happened, after more than twelve years of knowing him, and over four years of marriage, is her daily miracle. “I think we’ve only been

actually

alone, for more than a handful of hours at a time, on our honeymoon.”
 
Luka smiles. They had taken their honeymoon on their second wedding anniversary. No one would ever call them traditionalists. “You’re forgetting the weekend in New York.”
 
“That was for a conference. It doesn’t count.” Abby sighs and smiles. “It

was

very romantic though. Even after a full day of trauma lectures and workshops.”
 
Luka raises a brow. “It was. I recall keeping you busy then, too.”
 
She closes her eyes, the smile still on her lips. “Why is your mind always on sex?”
 
“Because. It’s very happy there.” He grins when she snickers at him. “Anyways, Joe will be fine with the family.”
 
“Oh yeah. They’re nuts about him.” Abby pushes herself up a bit in the seat. “Ante and Ivan are convinced he’s going to play for Croatia in the World Cup one day.” She grins widely and opens her eyes when Luka stays silent. “You think he will too, don’t you?”
 
Luka glances over, and even behind his sunglasses, she knows his eyes are twinkling at her. “So what? He’s good for his age.”
 
Abby laughs. “Okay, well, if he’s going to be a famous soccer player, we can retire early at least.”
 
“It’s football and you know it.” He pinches her thigh.
 
“Yeah, yeah. When in Rome, speak the lingo.”
 
He rolls his eyes. “You’re in Croatia. And you live with a Croatian. I thought I had managed to purge that word from your vocabulary.”
 
Abby smirks. “Sorry. I’m still American. Football is the Bears and the Vikings, baby.”
 
Luka gives a dramatic sigh. “Where did I go wrong?”
 
Abby squeezes his thigh. “You didn’t. Some things are just too entrenched to be replaced.” She smiles. “Joe calls it football, and that’s what matters, right?”
 
“I guess.” Luka smiles. “The other parents are annoying. They call it soccer too.”
 
“Entrenched Luka. You’re never going to convert people. Just live with it.”
 
“Fine.” Luka reaches over for her hand as he comes to the crest of a hill. “Hey, you’re going to want to see this.”
 
“What?” She leans forward a bit when he nods his head. “Wow.” Abby’s eyes widen as she takes in the expanse of blue water and the city that looks as old as time sitting on its edge.
 
One of Luka’s favorite things is showing Abby something new. They hadn’t had a lot of chances to travel together, but he hoped that would change now that Joe was getting older. Her wonder at seeing new places, especially in his homeland, gave him a warm feeling he couldn’t express. He squeezes her hand. “That’s Split. It’s one of the oldest cities in Croatia.”
 
“It’s beautiful.” Abby had barely been out of the Midwest before she had met Luka. A few conferences, and a blur of a honeymoon in the Bahamas with her first husband. Now she had been to Croatia, Hawaii, Paris and had moved to Boston. He was already talking about another mysterious trip for their fifth anniversary next summer. Her life had certainly changed when Luka Kovač had come into it. She glances over at him, relaxed and casual in his jeans and pullover. “Why are we going all the way to Šibenik again?”
 
Luka grins. “I like the drive. And I want you to see the city where I went to university.”
 
She smiles at him. “Are we going to the theater?”
 
His eyes light. “You know about the theater?”
 
“I do my research.” Abby watches him as he lifts her hand again for a kiss. “We only have two days you know.”
 
“I know. Stop micromanaging everything and relax.” He smiles. “Next time we come in the summer, we’ll have to go to the Dubrovnik Festival. They do Hamlet.”
 
Abby smiles slowly. “Better than you?”
 
Luka laughs. “Much better, I’m sure.”
 
“I don’t know, it’s pretty sexy when you do it.”
 
“You just thought it was funny that I upstaged Carter.” Luka lifts a brow at her.
 
“Well, yeah. That’s what made it sexy.” She laughs.
 
He shakes his head. “Anyways, it’s a fun experience. Maybe when Joe’s a little older.”
 
“I hope he’s doing okay.” Abby frowns.
 
Luka sighs. “He’s fine. We’ve been gone for two hours. Relax, Abby.”
 
Abby smirks. “So I shouldn’t call Ana yet to check on him.”
 
The corner of Luka’s mouth quirks up. “No. She managed to raise two boys into teenagers. I think she can handle our five year old.”
 
She laughs. “Yeah. I kind of want to be her when I grow up. She takes no shit from anyone. Especially your brother.”
 
Luka raises a brow at her. “And you take shit from me?”
 
“Sometimes I do.” She slides her eyes over to him again. “But I think it balances out. You take a lot of shit from me too.”
 
Luka snorts. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re always perfectly reasonable and absolutely level-headed.”
 
“Uh huh...that’s cute.” Abby grins at him. “Well played, Kovač.”
 
******************************************

Luka smiles at Abby’s slack-jawed reaction to the lobby of Hotel Heritage Palače. He knew he was showing off a little, booking the weekend there. But hell, they could afford it, and the old hotel in Old Town overlooking the sea was somewhere he’d always wanted to stay himself. Why not with his wife?
 
“Luka…” Abby is lost for words for a moment. “This place is incredible. It must cost a fortune..”
 
He kisses her head after tipping the bellman to deliver their bags to their room. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll send Joe to a public university instead of Harvard.”
 
Abby laughs a little. “He’s going to play soccer, remember? It’s fine.”
 
“Shhh. Don’t say that word too loud around here.” Luka grins and takes her hand. “Let’s go for a walk and find something to eat.”
 
They wander the cobblestoned streets of the city, hand-in-hand. Stopping in the occasional shop. Abby rolls her eyes when Luka insists that Joe needs a new football jersey (he already has three), but indulges him. He drags her into a candy store and stocks up on Bajadera, his favorite treat from his homeland. He feeds her a piece on the way out.
 
“It really is good.” Abby says over a mouthful of chocolate and nougat.
 
“It’s better than good.” He claims over his own mouthful. “But we should get some real food.”
 
They settle on a sidewalk cafe overlooking the water. Abby is dubious when he orders Crni Rižot, which he claims is something she

has

to try while in Croatia. Her aversion to Croatian cuisine may have lessened over the years, but she still had a hard time believing that anything made from squid ink would be palatable.
 
“Just give it a try. We’ll get you something else if you don’t like it.” Luka smiles at her across the little table and picks up her hand for a kiss.
 
God, he was irresistible when he looked at her that way. So happy and relaxed and eager to make this trip wonderful for her. She smiles at him and squeezes his hand. “I love you, Luka.”
 
“I love you, too.” He nods at the sea. “Rain is coming in.”
 
Abby can see that for herself. “We’ve got awhile.”
 
Ten minutes after they’d finished their lunch and left the restaurant, the sky opens up. “I guess we’d better run.” Luka laughs.
 
They run in the direction of the hotel. Laughing and breathless, Abby catches him by the elbow just before they make it to the steps. She pulls him in close and brings his head down toward hers. “Kiss me.” She murmurs.
 
Luka doesn’t argue, bringing his lips to hers and sinking in, helpless as she runs her hands through his hair. He tightens his arms around her waist and lifts her to her toes, his tongue sliding against hers as she moans and sighs. The romance of the old city surrounding them while the rain pours down isn’t lost on him. He smiles when they slowly break apart. “What was that for?”
 
She takes his hand to start inside, moving quickly again. “I wanted to kiss you in the rain. It’s romantic, right?”
 
He chuckles as they head to the elevator. “Very romantic.” Luka takes her in his arms as they ride up. Abby never failed to surprise him. She often finds grand, romantic gestures to be silly, but she indulges

his

romantic side. Every now and then, though, she did something so romantic and sweet that it stops his heart and steals his breath. By the time they reach their room, he’s so desperate for her, his hands shake as he unlocks the door.
 
Abby barely has a chance to get a look at the room before he spins her around and presses her up against the door, kissing her with wild abandon. She smiles at him when he lets her breathe. “I guess we won’t be able to do all of the things you had planned for today.”
 
Luka grips her hips and hitches her up so her legs wrap around his waist. He grins at her. “Let me show you what Croatians do on a rainy day….” He lowers her to the bed and strips out of his soaked shirt, kicking off his shoes.
 
Abby grins. His hair is wet and his skin glistening. He looks, well, beautiful is the only way to describe it. “Is it the same thing they do when it’s sunny? Or snowing? Hurricane season? A monsoon?”
 
Luka chuckles and reaches down to pull her shirt over her head. He pulls the shoes from her feet and tosses them over his shoulder. He lowers himself to the bed with her. “Yes, but the rain makes it more romantic, I think.”
 
“Is that so?” Her breath hitches as he lowers his mouth to her breast, stroking his hand along her thigh. “I guess you’d better prove that theory.”
 
He lifts his head a fraction, sliding his hands down to work the button of her jeans free, sliding them over her hips and off. “Mmm. Plan on it.”
 
Abby’s head falls back and she sighs as he kisses her neck, nuzzling his way up to her ear. The pace slows as they sink into each other, hands sliding along flesh, lips searching out secrets that belonged only to them. She cries out when his hand slides down to cup her center, his long clever fingers sliding over her until she comes. “Luka…”
 
He slides up her body, stripping his own jeans away. “Abby…” he murmurs her name before taking her lips tenderly, slipping inside her. Luka’s hands grip hers as he begins to move, slowly, almost achingly slow. His eyes roam over her face, enchanted by her.
 
Abby lifts her lips to his again, breath sobbing out as his slow thrusts overwhelm her with pleasure. Her hips lift and fall in the same steady rhythm. She whispers his name as the orgasm comes in waves. Luka groans as he follows and empties himself into her.
 
She strokes his neck when he settles his head between her breasts, eyes closed, with a smile on his lips. “So is sex on a rainy day a requirement in Croatia?”
 
His grin spreads wider. “No, but it should be.” He lifts his head, his eyes twinkling at her.
 
Abby laughs. “You’re probably right.” She glances over at the window where the sun was starting to peek through again. “It’s stopped now.”
 
“Yeah.” Luka slides up to kiss her again. “Sex on a sunny day should be a requirement too.”
 
She giggles and slides her arms around him. “Forget about another round. We have places to go and things to see.”
 
He nods and sits up, bringing her with him. He strokes her cheek. “Thank you.”
 
“You don’t have to thank me for sex. We’re married.” Abby grins.
 
Luka grins back. “Not for the sex. But you do have my eternal gratitude there…” He snickers when she leans in to kiss him. “Thank you for this trip. For being so interested in seeing things I grew up with.” He shakes his head, knowing his thoughts aren’t coming out how he wants them to. “Seeing you experience this for the first time is amazing, Abby.”
 
Abby looks at him from under her lashes, unspeakably moved by what he’s trying to say. “It’s beautiful, Luka. But being here with you is what makes it amazing.”
 
Luka sighs and leans his forehead on hers. “I love you more than I can say.”
 
“I know.” Abby cocks her head. “Maybe we can skip the theater after all…”
 
Luka grins and pushes her back on the bed. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“A letter?”
 
“Yes, Abby. A letter.” Judith, her addiction therapist, smiles at Abby. “Sometimes writing things down helps.”
 
“I know that. That’s what the journaling is for.”
 
“Yes. But this would be with the intention of telling Luka some of the things you need to tell him.”
 
“I don’t know if I can…” Abby falters.
 
“You don’t need to send it to him, or give it to him. Just write it as if you’re going to. It’s up to you what you do with it. Hell, burn it if you need to. It’s just something that will help.”
 
“Maybe.” Abby bites her lip. There are so many things she needs to say to Luka. A letter would be easier than telling him face-to-face. But…”Shouldn’t I tell him in person?”
 
Judith smiles. “That’s up to you too. But this could get you started. I’ve seen it be helpful to other patients.”
 
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
 
“Good. Take your time with it. I know you’re still processing everything that happened while you were drinking.”
 
Abby nods and rises. “Thanks.” She wanders out into the common area and sits at one of the tables. Pulling out her cigarettes, she lights one and smiles a little. Luka would smirk at her if he knew she was smoking again. He wouldn’t push her to quit. Hell, he’d probably join her in this rebellion. She knew she’d have to quit again when she was done here, but right now, it was a comforting crutch. It was a running joke in the rehab. “Why do alcoholics all smoke? Because we’re alcoholics.” She exhales and thinks about what Judith had suggested.
 
A letter seemed like a cop out. How could her and Luka

really

move forward unless she told him everything? They couldn’t. Abby knows Luka knows something, and he’s waiting for her to tell him. To break his heart. She closes her eyes. “How could I have done all of that?” Abby mutters to herself.
 
“Talking to yourself?” Penny, a heroin addict, sits down at the table with her.
 
“Just thinking out loud.” Abby smiles. “I have some things I need to tell my husband, and I’m not sure where to start.”
 
The younger woman cocks a brow. “Is he coming to visit?”
 
“No. He’s in Croatia right now with our son. I’m hoping to meet them there when I’m done here.”
 
“Croatia?” Penny laughs. “That’s a long ways away.”
 
Abby laughs a little. “Yeah. It’s where he’s from. He’s lived here for quite a while though.”
 
“So what do you need to tell him?”
 
Abby sighs. It’s easy to talk to people here. It was anonymous, for one. For another, they understood, and wouldn’t judge. “I had been sober for a long time before this relapse. And it was really bad this time. I did some things that are probably going to break his heart.”
 
Penny nods. “You cheated on him.”
 
“Yeah. I don’t remember any of it other than waking up in the guy’s bed. Well, I remember bits and pieces. But I haven’t tried to remember more because what I

do

remember makes me sick. I’m disgusted with myself. How can Luka not be disgusted with me?”
 
Penny shrugs. “He probably will be. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s just what usually happens.” She smiles a little. “Does he understand the disease?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “On an intellectual level, yes. He’s a doctor. He understands the biology and the physiology, and even some of the psych aspects. But on a personal level? Not really. He’s of that ‘you could stop if you wanted to’ mindset.”
 
“That’s unfortunate.”
 
“It’s one of the things that frustrates me the most about him. He’s a fantastic doctor, a wonderful man. A terrific husband and father. But he’s so fucking

dense

about some things. This is one of them.” Abby sighs. “I married him anyways.”
 
“He married

you

anyways, knowing you’re an alcoholic. Why do you think he did that?”
 
Abby smiles a little. “Because he loves me, and I love him and we have a life together.” Abby starts to tear up. “At least I hope we still do.”
 
“Well, my money’s on you. I’ve seen all the work you’ve put in here. You can do anything you set your mind to.” Penny smirks at her.
 
She laughs. “Thanks. You can too.” Abby rises. “I guess I’d better go write a letter.”
 
“That’s the spirit.”
 
Abby shakes her head and heads to her room. Her roommate had “graduated” two days before, so she had the place to herself for now. She settles on the bed and grabs her journal, flipping to a fresh sheet of paper. After a moment, she begins to write.

Luka….

This is supposed to be an assignment. Another thing that will be “helpful in my recovery”. But I realize as I sit here, 5,000 miles away from you and our son, that there are so many things that I have to tell you. So many things that you deserve to know. This is more than an assignment...it’s part of me...and no matter what happens, you deserve to know it all.

We have never been very good at expressing our feelings, you and I. I know how much you love me, and I love you more than I can say. But we’ve never been able to say things that we both have needed to. I hope this is a good beginning to changing that.

Obviously I can’t put everything that I have to tell you, everything that you need to know, in this letter. Just know that I’m doing my best to give you some idea of why this happened, and why I needed to do it this way. I know some of the things I did will break your heart. I’m so sorry, Luka. More sorry than I’ll ever be able to tell you. You have to know that I wasn’t in my right mind, and everything I did was driven by this disease. None of it was about you, or even me, or anything between us. It was about the alcohol.

First of all, I need you to know that my relapse was not your fault. Please,

please

, stop blaming yourself for it. My alcoholism is something I’ve struggled with for more years than I’ve known you. I realize that you have never seen me like that before, and that it took you by surprise. I do things I deeply regret when I’m drinking. I hurt people. I hurt the people I love the most. I do things that I would never even imagine doing while I’m sober. I’m so sorry that this happened to me, to

us.

Because my actions affect you deeply, and you didn’t deserve any of it.

I don’t know how or why the drinking started. My mother, Richard, my father, my brother. All of them played a part in freeing those demons in my head, making me think that being drunk is the only way I can cope with life. But I also know that the root cause of my alcoholism is in myself. I let it happen, and I let it continue to happen. It’s nobody’s fault but my own, and nobody’s responsibility but my own to save me from it.

I know how hard this is for you to understand. I’ve seen your view of addiction. I don’t think you’ve ever truly understood my disease and that’s not your fault. It’s societal and it’s cultural. Addicts and alcoholics are considered the dregs of humanity by many people. Now you’re faced with the cold hard facts of my alcoholism, and it scares you. I’m your wife, your partner, the mother of your child. And I’m a drunk. It’s not an easy thing to reconcile, especially since you’ve never seen me like that before. I understand your feelings, and I want you to know that I’m going to do everything in my power to stay sober this time. Not just for me, or for you. Not even for Joe. But for

us.

You guys are my world, and without you I’m empty and broken.

But I also want you to know, that no matter what happens with us, I’ll be okay. I’ll stay sober and I will survive. Because I want to. Because I

need

to. Because this is my life. I have to play the cards that I’ve been dealt. That’s in your hands, Luka. It’s your decision to make, if you can forgive me or not.

I hope that you can. I hope we can come back to each other. I hope that you love me enough to see that we can overcome this. We’ve overcome so many things together, I hope getting past this will be worth it to you. Anything you need me to do, I’ll do it. I need to make amends to you, and I hope you’ll let me live those amends with you.

We talk a lot in here about actions vs thoughts and feelings. I love you, and I’m grateful for every day we’ve had together, from the very beginning. Even the bad days. But I’m not sure I’ve actively shown you that love or gratitude. I wish, more than anything, that I had. That I could somehow prove to you that everything I am is yours. Because I don’t think you believe that right now. But I

do

promise to change that, if you’ll let me. To show you my love, to show you how grateful I am to you for the life we have together.

I have so many regrets. The biggest regret I have right now is not telling you that I love you enough. Not holding your heart closely enough when I needed to. When we got married, I told you I carry your heart, always. It seems that I forgot that for a little while. Saying I’m sorry will never be enough.

Anyways, I know this is already very long and I’m rambling. But I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh and your touch. I miss you holding me and making love with me. I even miss your brooding and over-protectiveness. I miss Joe. I miss seeing his smile and I hate that I’m missing so many things with him while I’m here. Just know that I’m doing this, I’m missing this time with you both so that we can be better. So that we can move forward and be the family that we want to be.

All my love,

Abby

Abby leans back against the headboard, the ache in her chest even stronger than usual. The pain she felt over everything she had done was palpable. But over and above that, she just missed him so damn much. It was almost like missing a limb. She had never understood why people in love claimed to

need

each other, until she met Luka. She had been in love before, and sort-of, after. But she hadn’t needed Richard or Carter. She needed Luka more than she sometimes needed to breathe.
 
Abby sighs and rises, putting the journal aside. She goes to the little dresser to pull out her pajamas. She would have to decide whether to give him the letter or not. Climbing under the covers, she closes her eyes. If she gave it to him, it might help him understand. But she still felt like she should at least

try

to tell him in person. She loved him too much to not give him that.
 
She drifts slowly into sleep, and dreams of her husband and her son, smiling at her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Abby steps closer to straighten her husband’s tie. At almost seventy, he was still as handsome as ever.
 
Luka leans down to brush his lips over hers. “Pretty crazy, huh?”
 
“He was just starting kindergarten five minutes ago.”
 
Luka chuckles. “You said that when he graduated high school. And college. And law school.” His eyes twinkle down at her. “It’s been considerably more than five minutes.”
 
“Fine. Twenty minutes, then.” Abby brushes her hand over his lapel, and gazes up at him. “You look pretty great today.”
 
Luka lifts a brow, a habit of his that she treasures. “Don’t I always?”
 
Abby laughs. “Of course you do.”
 
Luka brushes his hand over her hair. “You look beautiful, as always.”
 
She blushes a little. “Thank you.” She rises on her toes to kiss him. “I need to talk to Joe.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “Okay.”
 
Abby wanders out to find their son. She hears his laugh coming from one of the rooms in the back of the Church. She stops to watch him with his friends, helping him get ready. He looked so much like his father, it was almost uncanny. Except for his eyes. Those came from her. She smiles when he glances over.
 
“Hi mom.” He walks over to kiss her cheek. “You look great.”
 
“So do you. I don’t think it’s fair that after all I went through to bring you into this world, you look exactly like your dad.”
 
Joe grins. “Kovač genes. They run strong.”
 
Abby laughs. “They absolutely do.” She smiles as Joe gives his friends a nod to clear them out of the room. “I just wanted a second with you.”
 
“Okay.” He turns to sit on the little couch. “Where’s dad?”
 
“He’s fidgeting with his boutonniere. I’ll have to fix it anyways, so I’ll let him think he can do it himself for awhile.”
 
Joe shakes his head and smiles widely. “You know he just lets you think he can’t do it right.”
 
Abby smirks. “It’s what makes our marriage strong, Josip. We humor each other. Remember that.”
 
Joe reaches over to take his mother’s hand. “I do. I couldn’t have asked for a better example of a good marriage than you guys.”
 
“I’m glad we gave you that. But Joe, you have to remember that we had a lot of ups and downs. Your dad and I went through a

lot.

”
 
“I know that, mom.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “You think you do. But that’s not my point. I want you to remember how much you love Delaney when you have those ups and downs. Keep loving each other, and it will all be just fine. It took me a lot of years to learn that.”
 
Joe smiles. “I will remember it. I love her so much.”
 
Abby reaches out and touches his cheek. “I know you do. I’ll tell you something your dad once told me. A lot of times you’re going to feel like you’re out on a lake on choppy water, in a rowboat, trying to get across. But if you just keep rowing, for better or for worse, you’ll be okay.”
 
Joe grins. “Dad somehow manages to be cheesy and romantic and profound all at the same time doesn’t he?”
 
Abby laughs. “You have no idea. It’s part of his charm. But he’s also right most of the time. It’s annoying.” She squeezes his hand. “I’m so proud of you.”
 
Joe smiles at her. “I love you.”
 
“Right back atcha.” Abby leans down to pick up her bag. She pulls out a box and hands it to him. “Your dad gave me this a long time ago. In fact, he gave it to me the night I told him I was pregnant with you.”
 
Joe swallows hard when he pulls the compass from the box. He’d grown up with it in different places in the house. He had never really thought to ask what it was about. He just knew that it was special to his parents and he wasn’t supposed to play with it. They had a replica of it on the Christmas tree every year. “Mom…”
 
“When he gave me this, he told me that we always find each other.” Abby leans forward to kiss Joe’s forehead. “We always do. Just like we always find you, and how you’ll always find Delaney.”
 
Joe clears his throat. “Thanks. This is...well, it’s beautiful.” He glances up and sees his father in the doorway, emotion all over his face. Luka was nothing if not sentimental. “Hey Dad.”
 
Luka smiles. “Hey. Ready for the big minute?”
 
“Moment.” Joe grins. “And yeah. I really am.”
 
“Good.” Luka steps forward to hug his son. “I just saw Del. She’s going to knock your shoes off.”
 
“Socks.” Abby and Joe chorus together. Joe grins. “I haven’t been able to keep my socks on since I met her.”
 
Luka laughs and slides his arm around Abby’s waist. “You gave him your compass?”
 
Abby leans her head on his shoulder. “Yeah. I stopped being lost a long time ago. You don’t mind that I gave it to him, do you?”
 
“Of course not.” Luka swallows over the lump in his throat and kisses the top of her head. He looks at Joe. “Those types of things are meant to be passed on.”
 
Joe steps forward to wrap his arms around both of his parents. “I’ll treasure it. I love you both.”
 
“Are there a bunch of sentimental assholes in here?” Ivan Kovač, Luka’s youngest nephew, pokes his head in the door. “Including one tiny bastard about to get married?”
 
Joe grins. “Odjebi. I’m taller than you, asshole.”
 
“But not as quick. Or good looking.” Ivan grins.
 
Luka grabs him in a headlock. “Where’s your father?”
 
“Out being a sentimental asshole with the bride. He fell a little in love with her when you all came to visit last summer.” Ivan ducks under Luka’s arm to hug Abby and punch Joe’s shoulder.
 
Luka grins. “We all have. Where’s your mother?”
 
“Right here, mali brat.” Ana strides in and kisses Luka, then Abby. She turns to Joe, who grins at his aunt. She takes his face in her hands and kisses him soundly. “Now you listen. You’re a Kovač, which means you’re a stubborn fucking ass.” Ana smiles when he grins at her. “But being a Kovač also means you have a great big heart. Those things balance out in this family.” She studies him for a minute and nods. “You’ll be just fine.”
 
Joe leans down to hug her. “Thanks, Strina.”
 
“Delaney is a lucky young lady. But not as lucky as you. Don’t forget it.” Ana nods and turns to Abby. “You gave Delaney the pearls?”
 
Abby smiles. “Yeah. I hope that was okay with Niko. Luka and I thought…”
 
Ana waves a hand. “We have boys. Just like you. Joe was hardly going to wear them down the aisle. Marta was his grandmother. She would be proud to know that his wife has them, just like she would have been proud that you wore them.” She grins at Abby. “They were yours to do what you wished. I am happy this was your wish.”
 
“I’m happy about it too.”
 
Ana nods again and turns to the room. “We should probably get out there. The wedding planner person was running around and barking orders.”
 
Luka and Abby grin at each other, remembering their own wedding and Hope’s determination to make it all perfect for them. Luka takes Abby’s hand as they move to take their places to walk down the aisle. “Brings back memories, huh?”
 
Abby squeezes his fingers. “Our wedding wasn’t quite as traditional as this. And Hope had to shove me down the aisle.”
 
Luka chuckles and brings her hand to his lips. “You’d have moved on your own eventually.”
 
“Of course I would have.” Abby shakes her head and smiles at him. “I wanted to marry you more than I had ever wanted anything else. It scared the shit out of me.”
 
Luka grins his lopsided grin. “I know.”
 
“I just told Joe that it’s annoying how you’re usually right.”
 
Luka tucks her hand in his arm to walk down the aisle and take their seats in the front row. He grins down at her when Joe takes his place with the Priest. “He looks so happy.”
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder. “I hope he makes her as happy as you’ve made me.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “I love you, Abby.”
 
*****************************************
 
“The food is really great.” Abby takes another bite of prime rib. “I’m going to need to work out like a maniac tomorrow, because I’m having seconds.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “You never eat like this. Once won’t hurt you.” He leans in to murmur in her ear. “You can work it off later, too.”
 
Niko leans toward them. “You’re too old for that horny nonsense.”
 
Ana swats his arm when Abby blushes and Luka laughs. “I’ll remember that when you try getting under my skirt later.”
 
Niko grins. “I take it back.”
 
Ivan rolls his eyes. “This is putting me off my dinner.”
 
Ana snorts. “You just need to find a good wife.” She raises a brow at him. “Josip is eight years younger than you.”
 
He leans over to kiss her cheek. “We need at least one single Kovač roaming free on the Earth. That’s me.”
 
Abby grins at him. “It would be a shame to see you all off the market.”
 
“See? Aunt Abby agrees with me.”
 
Ana rolls her eyes and smirks at Abby. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for Ante being settled down and giving me grandbabies.” She nods at the head table. “How long do you think it will be before you have some?”
 
Abby’s eyes widen. “I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t

want

to think about it.”
 
Luka laughs. “I’m hoping it’s soon. Maybe we’ll get those twins out of Joe.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Right. Identical twins. Exactly the same.”
 
He grins at her. “Something about mutant Croatian seed, right?”
 
Abby laughs. “Joe’s only half Croatian.”
 
Luka lifts her hand to press a kiss to her fingers. “We already did the hard work raising him. Grandchildren are all fun for us. Maybe we’ll get some girls out of him.”
 
Abby cocks her head. “That’s true.” She smiles softly. “Okay. Here’s hoping they do it soon.”
 
Luka smiles at her and turns his attention to the DJ when he announces the first dance. His eyes widen when he hears the opening bars to the song. ”Did you…”
 
Abby shakes her head and laughs. “No. I was just going to ask you the same thing.”
 
Ana speaks up. “What?”
 
Luka grins at her. “This song was Abby and I’s first dance at our wedding.”
 
Ana laughs. “You’re kidding.”
 
Abby grins. “No.” She glances at Luka, watching her son dance with his bride to Stevie Wonder. “You don’t think he remembered do you?”
 
“Abby, he was barely a year old. I think this is just…”
 
“Fate?” Abby lifts a brow at him.
 
“That, and maybe the fact that you drilled Stevie into him like a religion his entire life.”
 
Abby shrugs. “Anyone who doesn’t raise their child in the church of Wonder is a heathen.”
 
Luka laughs and kisses her, hard. He nods when Joe heads to the table. “I think you’re up.”
 
Abby rises and takes Joe’s hand for the mother and son dance. She grins at him. “Did you know?”
 
Joe looks confused as they start dancing. “Know what?”
 
“The song you and Delaney just danced to was your dad and I’s first dance at our wedding.”
 
Joe snorts. “You’re kidding me.”
 
“Nope.” She leans her head on his shoulder. He wasn’t

quite

as tall as Luka, but close. “I like to think it’s a lucky song.”
 
Joe hugs her closer. “It was one of my favorites, growing up. Delaney loves it too. Her parents are big Stevie fans apparently.”
 
Abby snickers. “So not heathens. Glad to hear it.”
 
Joe shakes his head. “You and dad almost always danced together when that song came on. I guess I noticed that and it stuck.”
 
Abby looks up at him and smiles. “I hope you and Del always dance to it too.”

***************************************

Luka takes Abby’s hand on the drive through Boston. They had been there for almost twenty-five years now. It was home. “Our boy is married.”
 
Abby grins at him. “I

know.

It’s nuts. Delaney is perfect for him.”
 
“She really is. It’s a good thing you introduced them.”
 
Abby shrugs. “It was an accident. He stopped in the hospital to see me and she happened to be in the lounge.” She laughs. “But I’ll take credit if you’re handing it out.”
 
Luka smiles and shakes his head. “A few more months and we’ll both be retired.”
 
Abby shifts to look at him. “We’ll either have a lot of fun or kill each other.”
 
Luka grins as he pulls into the driveway. “I vote for fun. We have lots of the world left to see.”
 
Abby climbs out of the car and waits for him to come around and take her hand. “We’ve already seen a lot of it.”
 
Luka stops on the doorstep and kisses her, soft and slow. In that way that

still

gave her butterflies after all of their years together. “We have. But I can’t think of a better way to spend the rest of my days than showing you the rest.” He grins. “And lots of lovemaking in foreign, exotic locales.”
 
Abby snorts. “That goes without saying.” She smiles as they head into the house. “In a few years, we’ll be taking grandkids to Disney. What do you think of being a grandpa?”
 
Luka takes her hand and tugs her up the stairs. “I think I love the idea. And…” He stops to kiss her again at the top of the stairs. “I think grandpa’s can still help grandma work off her big dinner.”
 
Abby grins and pinches his butt. “I think that is an excellent idea.”
 
Luka smiles, and leading his wife, the love of his life to their bedroom, he thanks God for every minute they had together. He wouldn’t have wanted to go through life with anyone but her, and he was eternally grateful that she felt the same.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“At least I don’t have to take the day off. Neither do you.” Abby leans against the counter and sips her Diet Coke.
 
“It’s nice when the Fourth falls on a Saturday and the rotating Attendings have to handle things, isn’t it?” Dawn, Abby’s boss and friend, smirks at her and lifts her margarita glass. “You’re sure the booze is okay?”
 
Abby shrugs. “Absolutely. Drink up. We wouldn’t throw a party and expect everyone else to stay dry.”
 
Dawn laughs. “I’m impressed that you figured out after not even a year here, that going downtown for the fireworks is pure insanity.”
 
“Luka and I went downtown Chicago for them the first time we dated. They light them off over Navy Pier. We both vowed never to return, the crowds were so crazy. I imagine it’s double that in Boston.”
 
“At least.” She moves to take the platter of vegetables and dip from Abby to carry it outside. “Joe’s not disappointed?”
 
Abby grabs the fruit and slides the back door open. “He can’t be disappointed about what he doesn’t know about. He’s getting sparklers, and that’s pure excitement for him.” She drops the food on the table and smiles at Luka. He looked so cute, manning his grill. “How long until we eat, chef Kovač?”
 
“About ten minutes.” He tugs her over to press a kiss to her head. “Do these look right?” He whispers.
 
Abby grins and checks his burgers and hot dogs. “They look perfect. I’ll start rounding up the troops.”
 
Luka smiles as he closes the lid on the grill, watching Abby go out into their yard to round up the kids and some of the adults who were kicking the football (not soccer) around. In a few weeks, their families would be there, along with several of their friends, to watch them renew their vows. He couldn’t wait.
 
“Thanks for having us, Kovač.”
 
Luka turns to grin at his chief. “Sure. Gorsch is going to try to make it by after his shift.” Luka shrugs. “I’m trying to be sorry he had to work, and then I remember he’s a resident and has to pay his dues just like the rest of us did.”
 
Daniels laughs. “Exactly.” He sips his beer. “This is a great spread.”
 
Luka smirks. “It’s the first time I’ve actually hosted an American holiday party.”
 
Reed lifts a brow. “Really? You’ve been here for quite awhile.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I moved around a lot until Chicago. Then I never had a yard. We always spent Thanksgiving and Christmas either alone together or at the hospital. So yeah. This is a first for me. For us, actually.”
 
“Well it looks good.”
 
“Practice for the wedding.” Luka chuckles.
 
Daniels shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re getting married twice in just over two years. To the same woman.”
 
“Well, who else would I marry but my wife?” He grins. “Our families couldn’t be there the first time. And it’s just something we need to do.” Luka says quietly.
 
“She’s a keeper, all right.”
 
Luka smiles when Abby climbs the deck steps, carrying their son. “Yeah, she is.” He slides burgers and dogs onto a plate and turns. “Let’s eat.”
 
***************************************
 
Abby smiles when Luka slips up behind her and wraps his arms around her. “Hi. Everyone seems to be having fun.”
 
He chuckles. “They are. I feel very American.”
 
Abby turns in his arms and rises on her toes to kiss him. “I’ll give you that. Today. Tomorrow, you’re back to being my goofy Croatian.”
 
He lifts a brow. “Goofy?”
 
Abby giggles. “Luka, you’re one of the goofiest people I know. It’s part of your charm.”
 
“Okay then.” He kisses the top of her head. “People probably think you married me to keep me here.”
 
She snorts. “You were a citizen before we got married. But if they do, so what? Any woman who would let you be deported is an idiot.”
 
“And you’re no idiot. I’m only joking.” He gives her a squeeze. “Nobody thinks that.”
 
“Nobody who knows us thinks that, that’s for damn sure.” She smiles. “You’re not disappointed to be missing the big fireworks display downtown?”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “Navy Pier was enough for this lifetime. I can’t even imagine what a madhouse this city would be. This is where you weirdos threw tea in a harbor. Why the hell did you do that again?”
 
“It was…” Abby rolls her eyes when she sees the twinkle in his. Knows he’s just fucking with her.  “You’re going to lose your American cred if you keep talking like that. And

I

didn’t throw tea anywhere. Why would I want to waste perfectly good tea?”
 
Luka chuckles. “That’s my point.”
 
She smiles watching Joe run around with his friend Kenny and some of the older kids who belonged to their neighbors. His favorite babysitter, Katie, was never far from him. “He loves it here.”
 
Luka rests his head on hers. “He really does. I’m glad the transition went so smoothly.”
 
“It went smoothly for all of us. I’m kind of shocked at how quickly we settled. I love it here too.” She says quietly.
 
Luka squeezes her hands. “I know. Me too.” He dips his head to kiss her again. “It’s home now.”
 
“Yeah.” Abby smiles up at him. “What do you say we break out the sparklers?”
 
“I say, Happy Independence Day, baby.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka grins as he watches Joe outflank the defender, gain speed on a breakaway, and score with a blur of a bicycle kick. The kid is

good

. Even Abby recognizes it, and she’s absolutely clueless about football, much to his consternation. He had deliberately come to pick Joe up from practice a little early, just so he could watch. 
 
He bumps his son with his shoulder as they start to walk off the practice field together. “Nice kick.”
 
“Thanks.” Joe smiles at Luka. “I was almost offsides.”
 
Luka shrugs. “Almost. Just keep your peripheral vision open. That will help.”
 
“I know. That’s what coach says too.”
 
“You’re liking the team?” Luka asks as they climb into the car. Joe was only a freshman in high school, but after one practice, the coaches decided to pull him up to Varsity instead of JV.
 
“Dad, I’ve played with most of those guys for years.” He shrugs and grins. “It’s no big.”
 
“What’s up, then?”
 
Joe furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”
 
Luka snorts. “Josip, you’re exactly like your mother. When you have a problem, you worry it to death in your head until you figure it out. I can always tell when she’s doing it.” He gives Joe a sidelong glance. “I’m pretty good at helping her figure things out. Maybe I can help you too.”
 
Joe blushes a little. “It’s really nothing important.”
 
“Okay.” Luka smiles at him and they drive the rest of the way in silence.
 
“How was practice?” Abby calls out from the kitchen when they come in the house.
 
Joe smiles at his mother. “It was good. Need a shower.”
 
Abby lifts a brow as Joe bolts up the stairs, taking them two at a time. “What’s up with him?”
 
Luka shrugs and tips her head back for a kiss. “No idea. Something is going on, though.”
 
“Yeah?” She wraps her arms around him and breathes deep. “How do you know? You smell really good.”
 
Luka chuckles and kisses the top of her head, pulling back reluctantly. “Joe won’t be long, there’s no time for that.” He grins when Abby snorts. “I know something is going on with him the same way I know when something is going on with you.”
 
“Ah yes. The Luka Kovač patented mind reading.” She smiles and heads toward the kitchen. “You didn’t poke it out of him the way you always do with me?”
 
“All in good time, moja ljubav.” Luka grins when she rolls her eyes at him and sits at the table. “What? You don’t think I can?”
 
Abby drops the lid back on the sauce she has simmering, and turns to put the pasta on to boil. “I

know

you can. But he’s fifteen, Luka. He’s going to be a tougher nut to crack than you think.”
 
Luka just stares at her. “What?”
 
She laughs and squeezes his shoulder. “Almost thirty years in this country, and you still can’t decipher our phrases.” Abby kisses his head. “It’s still adorable.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes and smiles at Joe when he comes in. “Hey. Dinner’s almost ready.”
 
“Good, I’m starving.” Joe grabs a roll from the basket on the table and bites in. 
 
Abby shakes her head. “Have your salad, the rest will be done in a minute.”
 
Luka bides his time as they eat. “So I noticed you guys have quite the cheering section while you practice.” He raises a brow when Joe flushes red. “Are they always there?”
 
“Ah, yeah. Seems like it.” Joe stuffs spaghetti in his mouth. 
 
“Is it the girl’s team?” Luka continues to eat, making seemingly casual conversation.
 
“Yup. And some of their friends. I think a few of them play softball.” Joe continues to eat as well, still flushed red.
 
Abby watches in amusement and finally speaks. “Coach allows that?”
 
“Well, he coaches the girls too. He thinks it’s good team camaraderie or something like that. We’re supposed to go to their games when we can, and they’re supposed to come to ours. And he doesn’t mind us watching each other’s practices.”
 
Abby has a feeling this is probably a case of the man being oblivious to teenage hormones. “Okay.”
 
“One of the sophomores asked me out.” Joe blurts out suddenly. 
 
Luka gives Abby a smug look, and raises a brow at Joe. “Alright. Did you say yes?”
 
Joe just stares at his father. “I didn’t know what to say. I said maybe.”
 
Abby snorts. “You’re as hopeless as your dad.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Do you like her?”
 
“Yeah. A lot, actually. But I wasn’t sure you guys would be okay with it.” He looks at his plate, still sheepish.
 
Abby laughs at that. “Joe, you do realize your dad got married the first time at nineteen right?” They had always been open with Joe about Luka having lost another family. Abby had pushed for it, knowing it was important that Joe somehow know his brother and sister.
 
Joe looks startled. “Huh. No. I didn’t ever really think of it that way.”
 
Luka smiles at him. “I started dating Danielja at about your age. Why in the world would I not be okay with you having a date?”
 
Abby pokes his arm. “

Not

that you’re old enough to get married. Or even think about it. But a date is fine.” She smiles at her son. “What’s her name?”
 
“Ah, Taylor.” Joe swirls spaghetti around his plate. “I just...I don’t know what to

do

on a date!” He looks at both of his parents, slightly panicked.
 
Luka looks suddenly terrified. “Ah, the usual things? Pizza and a movie?” He glances at Abby who shakes her head, clearly at the same loss he is. 
 
Joe shakes his head. “But dad, this is a big deal. I can’t even drive! How do I act? What did you guys do on your first date?”
 
Abby sighs when a dark look passes over Luka’s face. She covers his hand with hers. “Your dad and I weren’t exactly traditional in the dating department, Joe. And we were a lot older than you when we started going out.”
 
Joe’s brow furrows. “Okay. But you

must

have had a first date.”
 
“We did. It was nice. We played foosball, I beat him by the way, and had dinner. We went for a walk.” Abby’s heart squeezes when Luka turns his hand over and grips hers tightly. She smiles at Joe. “And he kissed me.”
 
Joe makes a face. “I don’t need to know that stuff.”
 
Luka laughs in a burst, relaxing a little. “You asked. It’s not like you’ve never seen me kiss your mom.”
 
Joe grins, oblivious to the tension. “Yeah, but I don’t need to hear about your

first

kiss.”
 
Luka smirks. “Actually, that wasn’t the first. Your mom planted one on me at work, before we even went out.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes when Joe makes gagging noises. Their son was nothing if not dramatic. She blames Luka. “Anyways, the point is, just tell her you can go out, and take it from there.” Abby shrugs. “For all you know, she might have plans for what you’ll do already.”
 
Joe looks relieved at this thought, while Luka gives Abby a private grin. She’d had the plans for

their

first date, after all. “That’s good advice. It will be fine. Now, it’s your turn to do the dishes.”
 
“I’ve got homework.” Joe slides his eyes to his mother.
 
Abby laughs. “It’s seven o’clock, Josip Kovač. Plenty of time to do the dishes

and

your homework.”
 
Joe’s shoulders slump. “Fine.”
 
Luka waits until Joe is in his room doing homework before dropping down next to Abby on the couch where she’s reading a journal. “God, I never expected that question.”
 
Abby takes his hand. “I know it. Jesus, Luka, how did we not have a plan for

that

one?”
 
He shakes his head. “I never even thought of him asking what we did on our first date. I thought the sex talk was bad.”
 
Abby snorts at that. “You have my eternal gratitude for handling that.” She pulls his arm over her shoulder and snuggles into him. “I think we handled it okay, didn’t we?” She looks at him. “Are you okay?”
 
Luka sighs. “Yeah. I made peace with what happened a long time ago. But I don’t like to think of it.”
 
“Me either. But it happened, and you didn’t do anything wrong. You were trying to protect us.”
 
“I took it too far, Abby. I should have stopped.” Luka grimaces.
 
“Maybe. But we both know the reasons why you didn’t.”
 
He nods and sighs. “Yeah. I should probably tell Joe the whole truth at some point.”
 
“Maybe.” Abby grips his hand. “It won’t change how he feels about you, Luka. You’re his father, and he loves you. It never changed how I feel about you, either.”
 
Luka laces their fingers together and rests his head on hers. “I’m eternally grateful for that.”
 
Abby tips her head up to kiss him. “We

did

have some great moments on that date.” She murmurs.
 
He smiles against her lips. “We did.” Luka strokes her arm. “I liked what happened a few days later even better though.”
 
Abby laughs. “Me too. I love you, Luka. I wouldn’t change a single thing that happened since we met.”
 
“No?”  
 
“No. Everything that happened makes us who we are together. I’m grateful. For all of it.” She grins at him. “Even the annoying parts.”
 
Luka grips her chin and kisses her hard. “Me too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Carter slides into the booth at Ike’s across from Luka. “Hey.”
 
“Hey.” Luka lifts his beer. “It’s about time you showed. I thought you were standing me up.”
 
“Nah. Just got caught with a patient.” Carter grins at the waitress and orders a Coke. “Did you get food yet?” He asks Luka.
 
“Not yet. I was waiting for you. Know what you want?” 
 
Carter nods and orders a cheeseburger. Luka gets the same, and they sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, watching the ebb and flow of the bar.
 
“I asked Sam and Alex to move in with me.” Luka says abruptly.
 
Carter raises his brows. “Really? That’s...fast.”
 
Luka shrugs and drinks. “I guess.”
 
“Into the apartment you bought to live with Abby?”
 
Luka opens his mouth, closes it. “She didn’t want to live with me.” He mutters.
 
Carter rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t change the intent my man.”
 
“Abby moved on a long time ago. I have too.”
 
This time Carter snorts. “Sure. And Abby didn’t move on as fast as you think she did.”
 
Luka raises a brow. “What are you trying to say, Carter?”
 
Carter sits back and lifts his Coke. Wondering at how two brilliant people could be so thick-headed. “Nothing.” He shrugs. “Just thought you should know. She’s never stopped caring about you. Even when we were together.”
 
“We’re friends…” Luka begins.
 
Carter shakes his head. “I know that. My point is exactly that. Are you in love with Sam?”
 
“Sure.” Luka drinks deep. “Of course.”
 
“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”
 
“Look, Carter. I spent a lot of time wallowing in regrets over how I fucked things up with Abby. She couldn’t love me like I wanted her to, so I blew up our relationship.”
 
“I think you’re wrong about that.” Carter says quietly, knowing very well how much Abby had loved Luka. It was part of the reason she hadn’t been able to love

him

.
 
“Does it matter now? I’m with Sam. She’s great. I’m crazy about Alex. I’m happy.” 
 
“Then I’m happy for you.” Carter sits back as their food is served.
 
“Abby’s happy. She finally finished Med school. She’s the best intern we have.”
 
“She really is.” Carter grins a bit, his pride in Abby was still there, under it all. “Yeah. She seems happy. And free of all the drama the two of us brought her.” 
 
Luka snorts. “What is it about her that made us such idiots?”
 
“I have no idea.” Carter grins and takes a bite of his burger. “But she turns a man inside out.”
 
Luka sighs and dips a fry in ketchup. “She really does.”
 
“Speak of the Devil….” Carter nods when Luka gives him a questioning look. Abby had just walked up to the bar.
 
Abby turns to scan the place while she waits for her takeout order. She’d had a brutal shift and just wanted to go home and sleep for days. She groans internally when she sees her two exes, grinning at her. She sighs and after taking her food and paying her tab, walks over.
 
“Hey. Boys night out?”
 
Luka grins at her. “Yeah. Have a seat.”
 
“I really should…”
 
“Sit down and eat with us.” Luka tugs her down next to him. “The three of us haven’t really caught up in awhile.”
 
Abby gives him a baleful glance. “You don’t say?”
 
Carter chuckles. “We’ve all been a little busy.”
 
Abby pulls her takeout container out of the bag. “Sure we have. You guys have a world to save.” She wasn’t bitter, exactly, about Carter and Luka

both

abandoning her for Africa. And seemingly finding themselves over there. But she couldn’t resist the occasional dig. “So what’s new?” She digs into her salad.
 
“Ah, Sam and Alex might be moving in.” Luka takes a bite of his burger, glancing at Abby out of the corner of his eye.
 
“In where?” As the light dawns, Abby looks at him. “With you? That’s...fast.”
 
Luka shrugs when Carter snorts. “That’s what I said.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Are you happy?”
 
Luka studies her. Carter

couldn’t

be right about Abby having lingering feelings for him. “Yeah.” He says quietly.
 
She smiles, while her heart squeezes a little. “Then I’m happy for you. Really, Luka. That’s great.”
 
Luka lets out a breath. “Not even sure if it’s happening yet. But we’ll see.” He shrugs. “How are you feeling about your internship?”
 
Carter watches as Abby talks, thinking he might as well not even

be

there, when she turns and smiles at him. “How’s Kem doing? Have you heard from her?”
 
“Just last night. She’s doing okay.” Carter looks down at his drink. “Things are still hard.”
 
Abby reaches over and squeezes his hand. “I know. I’m sorry.”
 
“I know you are. Thanks.” Carter grins at her. “So how’s your love life?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes at him. “Seriously? Not funny.”
 
Luka shakes himself out of his thoughts about what Carter had said earlier. “It’s a little funny.” He grins at Abby.
 
“Okay, it is.” She snorts. “Like I’d tell you two asses anything about it.” 
 
“If we’re asses, what does that say about you?” Luka’s smile is full of fun. He can’t help teasing her. It’s what they do, and that would never change. 
 
Abby pokes his arm. “It says I apparently have a thing for asses.” She finishes her salad as they both laugh. “I really need to get some sleep. I’ll let you two continue talking manly things.”
 
Luka rises when she does, always the gentleman. He pokes her shoulder. “Have a good night.” He watches her go with some regret.
 
He sits back down and rolls his eyes at Carter’s raised brows. “Shut up. I’m just looking out for her.”
 
“Looking

at

her is more like it, but you keep telling yourself that.” 
 
“Carter, leave it alone. I’m always going to have feelings for Abby. That’s a given. But I can choose what to do about it. She deserves better than me. Than both of us, honestly.”
 
Carter shrugs. “I told her once that she was my chaos theory. I’m starting to think that maybe we were hers.”
 
“You’re probably right. Which is why we’re all better off as friends.”
 
Carter walks to his Jeep after saying goodnight to Luka. Shaking his head, he climbs in and wonders how long it will take Luka to get his head out of his ass.
 
***************************************

Darfur, Africa 2006

“And Abby?”

“Abby’s always ahead of the rest. You know that.” Greg glances at Carter. “She and Kovač are back together again.”

“Really?” Carter raises a brow at Pratt.

“Yeah. They’re about to have a baby.” Greg glances at Carter, somewhat surprised that he didn’t know.

“That’s...News.” Carter grins. “That’s great news. I’m happy for them. I’ll have to send them something.”

“From here?” Greg asks in amusemen

t.
 
The rest of the conversation is cut off abruptly by the chaos in the camp. Carter stretches out on his bunk later, letting his thoughts circle. Abby and Luka were having a

baby.

Wow. He and Abby had never even talked about kids. He knew just how much Luka wanted to be a father again...had watched him chase that dream for years. Carole, Nicole, Sam. The one woman who had seemed to be enough for Luka, without the package deal, had been Abby. He had always loved her, regardless of anything else. It was glaringly obvious for

years

to everyone who knew them. Except for Abby. Luka had managed to tamp it down a little while he was with Sam, but it was still there. 
 
Abby had done the same. She had really

tried

to keep her distance from Luka during their relationship. Not wanting to make the same mistake in their relationship as she had done with Carter while she was with Luka. But he would often catch a look, an inside joke shared, or just a general softness to Abby whenever Luka was around. She had never given him any reason to worry about Luka, but he had anyways. Because he had known, even if she didn’t, that part of her heart was stuck on that Croatian bastard and always would be. 
 
Doing the math in his head, Carter isn’t really surprised by the speed. Luka must have moved fast after splitting with Sam, even if they'd broken up right after he had left Chicago. He snorts to himself. Like he had any room to talk. Kem had gotten pregnant barely four months after he and Abby ended. Carter smiles a little, picturing Abby’s freak out when she found out she was pregnant, because no possible way was this planned. But they were obviously happy about it, and that was enough for John. Maybe Abby and Luka has

finally

figured out they were supposed to be together. 
 
Carter smirks a little as he closes his eyes. It had taken the pair of them long enough.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Already dressed, Abby sits on the bed brushing her hair, watching Luka knot his tie. “Do you have everything you need?”
 
He smiles at her in the mirror. “Abby, I’m only going to be gone a couple of days. The interview is tomorrow, with a follow-up and tour of the Med School on Saturday. This is just preliminary. Did you talk to MG?”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah. They called this morning. I’ve got an interview next week. It’s weird, thinking we might have to teach classes. At such prestigious schools.”
 
Luka snorts. “Hey, we’ve managed to avoid it this long, maybe we’ll get lucky.” He turns to grab his jacket and shrugs into it, noticing Abby’s face. He steps closer to tilt her head back. “Hey. What’s wrong? Besides the obvious?”
 
Abby tries to smile at him, but fails. “I guess I’m just a little worried.” She bites her lip. 
 
Luka sighs and sits next to her. Taking her hand, he strokes his thumb over the back. “About what?” 
 
“This is the first time we’ll have been separated in a week.” She takes a breath. “We’ve made a lot of progress. I don’t want to lose that.”
 
Luka nods. “We won’t.”
 
Abby leans against him. “I hope not.” She rolls her eyes. “And I don’t want to turn into some needy, clingy wife. It’s just…”
 
Luka shifts to put his arm around her. “You’re not. I understand. We’ve been through a lot in the last few months. We’re finally getting back to a good place and you don’t want that messed up.” He tilts her face up to his and kisses her when she nods. “I love you, that’s all you need to worry about.” 
 
Abby smiles at him and rises to go to her jewelry box. She pulls out a necklace and starts to move her hair out of the way. 
 
Realizing the necklace she’d chosen, Luka stands and steps over to her, his eyes soft on hers. “Let me do that.” Taking it from her, he gently pulls her hair out of the way and clasps it around her neck. He leans in to kiss her just below her ear. “Do you remember when I gave this to you?” 
 
Abby smiles and reaches up to stroke his face. “Of course I do.”
 
“Then you remember what I said. It’s still true.” He smiles down at her.
 
Abby steps forward into his arms, leaning her head on his chest. He’d given her the necklace, a diamond “circle of love” pendant, the Christmas after Joe was born. He had told her the meaning of it, and had then told her that “If any two people were meant to be together for eternity, it’s you and me.” She smiles at the memory and tilts her face up to his for a kiss. “You’re such a sentimental fool.”
 
Luka grins at her. “Guilty.” He gives her a squeeze. “Are you ready?”
 
Abby nods and sighs. The lightness of the moment dimming a bit as she remembers where they’re heading. “You okay?”
 
Luka shakes his head and smiles sadly. “For now.”
 
**************************************
 
Luka rests his head on the top of Abby’s as the Pastor gives his sermon at the gravesite. Closing his eyes, Luka tunes him out and thinks of Greg. The brash, young, hot-shot Intern who thought he was too good, and too smart to be working at County. His growth as a physician and a man. The man who had stood by Luka’s side while he’d married Abby. The friend who had been there for Abby when Luka hadn’t been. Luka tightens his grip on his wife and kisses her head, smiling a little when she squeezes his arm in silent acknowledgment.
 
Luka knew better than most people, certainly better than most of the people gathered at the gravesite; that fate or the universe, or whatever it was, could take anyone from you, anytime. Some of them long before they should be. All you could do was remember them and try to move forward. Luka closes his eyes again, sending a prayer up for Greg to rest in peace, and in gratitude for everything he still has. 
 
Abby is well aware of everyone watching them while also paying attention to the proceedings. She notes the varying expressions on their faces. Neela catches her eye and grins at her, and Abby knows just how happy her friend is to see them like this, and smiles back. Sam is watching them with an appraising look, and finally gives Abby a genuine smile. Like she was happy for them. Abby smiles back and leans her head back on Luka. The words the pastor is speaking are somber and heartfelt. Abby closes her eyes and thinks of Greg. He had been there for her this past year like no one else had. Stepping up and giving her something solid to hold onto when everything else had seemed to be slipping away. She sighs as she wonders, again, how someone so young and

vital

could be taken so quickly. Pratt had finally seemed to be getting everything he had ever wanted and it was taken from him far too soon. Abby grips Luka’s arm, sending up a silent prayer and thanking her lucky stars that she still had him, he still loved her, and that they were going to be okay. She knew almost as well as her husband, how quickly things could change and be taken away. 
 
After the final prayer, Luka moves over to speak quietly to Chaz and Bettina while Morris steps closer. “You okay, Archie?” Abby smiles at him.
 
“Yeah.” He looks down and sticks his hands in his pockets. “It’s good to see you and Luka here together. We’ve all been worried about you two.”
 
“I know.” She smiles at him. “Thanks. We’re going to be fine.”
 
Archie nods. “Greg would have been so happy. He always believed in you guys.” He gives a smirk. “And he thought Luka was being a dick.”
 
Abby nods. “I know.” She grins. “He’s not being a dick anymore. Neither am I. Hopefully, we’ll make Greg proud.”
 
“You will. You always did.” He nods at Luka when he comes back over. “Hey man.”
 
“Hey Archie.” Luka accepts the hug with a little eye roll at Abby. “How are you doing?”
 
Morris shrugs. “I’ll be okay. I’m going to take Bettina home. See you at Ike’s?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “I’ve got a plane to catch. Abby will be there.” Luka slides his eyes over at her.
 
“Yeah, planning on it.” Abby sighs. “Tell Bettina if she needs anything…”
 
Morris nods. “I know.”
 
Luka takes Abby’s hand as they walk to the car. “You’re catching a ride with the group?”
 
She nods. “Yeah. It was a nice service. I’m going to miss him.”
 
Luka swallows over the lump in his throat. “Me too. All we can do is remember him, and try to honor his memory.”
 
Abby nods. “I just told Archie we would try to make him proud.”
 
“What?”
 
“He said Greg always believed in us. Even though he thought you were being kind of a dick.” Abby smirks a little.
 
Luka laughs at that. “I was.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “So was I. The point is, he believed in us. Just another reason to keep it together.”
 
“We don’t need any other reason besides loving each other and wanting to keep our family together.” He smiles a little. “But I like the sentiment.”
 
Abby smiles. “Me too.” She turns when they get to their vehicle. “Listen, how about when I go for my interview, you come with me?”
 
Luka takes her other hand and squeezes. “I was just thinking the same thing. I don’t want to leave you right now, and I don’t want you leaving me when the time comes.”
 
Abby smiles. “Maybe Neela can keep Joe. We can look at some houses while we’re there.” 
 
Luka leans down to kiss her. “Houses, huh? Not an apartment?” He gives her a teasing grin.
 
“I think we need a yard. Maybe a white picket fence.”
 
He raises a brow at her. “Yeah, right. You’ll probably paint the front door purple and plant flowers just to let them die.”
 
She snickers. “You know me too well.”  
 
“Of course I do.” He squeezes her hands again. “Are you going to be okay?”
 
“Yeah, we’ll be fine.” She rises on her toes, and not caring about their surroundings, takes his mouth in a slow, deep kiss. “I love you.”
 
Luka strokes her face. “I love you too. I’ll call you when I land, okay?”
 
“Sure. Have a safe flight.” Abby watches his grin flash as he releases her to walk around and climb behind the wheel. He gives her a wave as he drives away. She stands and watches until the car is out of sight.
 
Walking back toward the group, Sam intercepts her. Abby rolls her eyes internally, hoping this isn’t another of Sam’s sanctimonious moments. Instead, Sam touches her arm. “Are you okay? I know you and Luka were tight with Pratt.”
 
Abby reminds herself that this was why she sometimes liked Sam. And she didn’t miss the underlying wondering about Luka. “Yeah. We’ll be fine.”
 
Sam stops for a second. “Listen, I just want to say how good it is to see you and Luka back together. I didn’t like seeing either of you so miserable.”
 
Abby cocks her head, a little surprised. “Thanks.”
 
“I liked seeing you both so happy together, before everything.” Sam looks down and sighs. “Luka loves you, and you gave him everything he ever wanted. It’s obvious he does the same for you. So I’m happy you worked it out. That’s all.”
 
Abby stares after her as Sam walks away. Wow. That was unexpected, but really nice. She wonders if that was sort of an apology for Sam’s recent behavior. Decides to take it that way. She grins when Neela takes her arm. 
 
“You ready?” Neela tucks her arm into Abby’s and starts walking toward the cars waiting to take them all to County. 
 
“Yeah.” Abby feels a little tug of guilt that she hadn’t been able to tell Neela that they might be leaving Chicago. “How are you doing?”
 
Neela shakes her head. “This sucks. It’s going to be really hard without him.”
 
Abby stops and smiles at her, glancing at everyone else milling around. “All we can do is try to make him proud.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I need to talk.”

“Everything okay?”

“Um, you know, when you were on the roof, I was thinking about what I would do if Joe didn’t have a father and if we didn’t have each other? And I realized that if we could get through this, we could probably get through anything.”

“What’s going on?”

“I mean...have you ever wanted something

so much

, but….it scared the hell out of you? See, here’s the thing. I changed my mind, and I was wondering if you could ask me again.”

“What?”

“Ask me again. Ask me to...marry you.”

The look on Luka’s face is the perfect combination of love, tenderness, amusement, and hope as he takes Abby’s hands to draw her to her feet. Dropping to one knee, he smiles up at her, watching as she laughs and ducks her head shyly. His heart swells in his chest as he realizes that this is it. Abby was

finally

ready to accept what he had wanted to give her for years. Comfort, security, and family. She already had his heart, just as he had hers. 
 
“Abby.” Luka squeezes her hands. “I love you. I’ve loved you for years, and I’m going to keep loving you for the rest of my life. You’re the only person I can imagine being with for the rest of our days. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’ll ever need. Be my wife. Marry me.”
 
Abby drops to her own knees, taking his face in her hands. “Luka, I...I’ve loved

you

for years. No matter what, you’ve always been there for me. Always. I know without any doubts that I’ll love you for the rest of my life. So yes, I’ll be your wife. I’ll marry you.” 
 
Luka’s smile spreads as he leans in to kiss her, soft and sweet. Abby shifts forward to wrap her arms around him, taking the kiss deeper. Luka sighs and draws back, dropping his forehead to hers while he strokes her hair. “I don’t have a ring.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “I don’t need a ring. I just need you.” She leans in to kiss him again. “Luka?”
 
“Yeah?” He strokes her face, smiling at her.
 
“I’m sorry I’ve been so resistant to this. To the idea of marriage.” She shakes her head when Luka starts to speak. “No. I need you to know it was never about you, or us. Part of me knew all along that this was inevitable. I think I’ve known it for a long time, and it scared the shit out of me. It’s still scary, but I want this more than anything. I love you more than anything, and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.”
 
Luka gets to his feet, drawing her up. He kisses her forehead. “Do you think I didn’t know all of that?”
 
Abby chuckles. “I should have known you did.”
 
“Yes, you should have.” Luka takes her hand to draw her toward the stairs. “I know you better than anybody.” He scoops her up into his arms to carry her up to bed.
 
Abby runs her fingers through his hair. “You think so?”
 
“Mmm.” Luka grins as he drops her on the bed. Pulling her shoes from her feet, he tosses them over his shoulder. “I know, for example, that you prefer dead flowers to live ones.”
 
Abby pushes up on her elbows and drags off her jacket. “They’re dead when you cut them.”
 
Luka chuckles. “I know.” He pulls the sweater over his head. “I also know that given the chance, you would eat cereal or ice cream for dinner rather than cooking.”
 
Abby lifts a brow. “This doesn’t mean you know me better than anyone, pal. Keep going.”
 
Luka smiles and lets his pants drop. “I know that despite your tough-girl demeanor, you have a weakness for cheesy knick-knacks. Like snow globes.” He grins wider when Abby laughs at that. 
 
Sliding onto the bed, he starts unbuttoning her shirt. “I know that you like to be touched...here.” Pushing her shirt aside, he trails a finger along the outside of her breast, He smiles when her eyes flutter closed and her head drops back. “And you like it when I kiss you...here.” He drops his head to trail his lips along the juncture between her neck and her shoulder, tongue darting out to taste her soft skin.
 
Abby sighs and moans as she lifts a hand to run it through his thick hair. “What else? I’m not sure I’m convinced…”
 
Luka grins and pushes her back, sliding over her body. Flicking open the center clasp of her bra, he drops his mouth to her breast. “I know your heart, moja ljubav. I know that when you love, you give your all. Even when you don’t say it. I know that you’re strong, and loyal, and brave.” 
 
“Luka..” Abby whispers it, stroking his hair as her heart feels like it’s going to burst out of her chest. She nearly whimpers as his tongue laves her nipple. 
 
“Shhh.” Sliding her shirt and bra away, Luka continues his journey down her body. “I know all of you, Abby. Even the pieces you wish I didn’t.” He looks up at her, smiling. “It’s a gift.” He slides up again to take her mouth with his, sliding in with a slow dance of lips and tongues. 
 
“It’s a gift for me, too.” Abby murmurs against his mouth, stroking her hands down his strong arms and around to trail them up his spine, making him shiver. 
 
“I know how sweet you are. What a good mother you are to our son.” Trailing slow open mouthed kisses down her breastbone, Luka sighs as she moans softly. He shifts to trail his hand down her body again, cupping her over her slacks, he lowers his head to kiss her belly, grinning when she cries out and her hand tightens in his hair. Sliding the pants down her smooth legs, he licks the crease between her thigh and her center. “I know you especially like it when I…” He lowers his mouth to her, licking into her center. Using lips and tongue until the orgasm breaks through her and she cries his name.
 
“God, Luka. I can’t.” Abby’s hands drop weakly to the bed. 
 
“You can.” Luka slides slowly up her body, kissing every inch while she writhes beneath him. He’s rock hard and desperate to be inside her, needing to join with her. To mate. Finding her lips with his again, Luka grips her hands. He lifts his head to gaze down at her.  “Abby, look at me.”
 
Her eyes flutter open, those deep brown eyes that held all of her love for him. “Luka. I need you.” She raises her mouth to his while he slips inside her.
 
“I know I love you more than any words can say.” Luka drops his forehead to hers while he moves in her. This woman, the woman he loves with everything in him, was going to be his wife. His heart bursts with the joy of it while he quickens the pace, thrusting hard and deep until Abby lets out a choked cry as she comes again. He takes her mouth with his again and empties himself inside her.
 
Abby smiles when Luka rolls, pulling her over with him. She props herself on her elbows to grin down at him. “I guess you

do

know me better than anyone.”
 
Luka chuckles and strokes his hand over her shoulder. “I told you.”
 
“I know you better than anyone too.”
 
He nods and kisses her forehead. “You certainly do.”
 
“Luka, I meant what I said earlier.” She lays her head on his shoulder, her hand stroking his chest. “I was so afraid I was going to lose you.”
 
“Abby…”
 
“No, be quiet. I really didn’t know what I would do. Thinking I might never see you alive again, it was unbearable. When you came down those stairs, the relief was so huge…”
 
Luka kisses her head again. “I know.”
 
“Don’t ever do that again, okay?” 
 
He sighs. “I’ll do my best. But Abby, I’m always going to protect you and Joe. You’re my family. You’re everything to me.”
 
Abby smiles. “Right back at you. But let’s try to live out the rest of our lives without anymore near death experiences alright?”
 
Luka chuckles. “I can agree to that plan.” He tilts her head up to kiss her softly. “I love you. Thank you for saying yes this time.”
 
Abby strokes his cheek. “Thank you for asking me again.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I can’t believe you won’t tell me where we’re going.” Abby rolls her eyes at her husband as he parks the car at Logan.
 
Luka grins at her. “You’ll find out soon enough. I considered ear plugs and a blindfold, to keep it a surprise longer, but then I thought security would find it sketchy.”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah, nothing shady about the giant Eastern European trying to get away with the tiny, helpless American woman. We would look like every bad action movie ever made.” 
 
Luka sniffs and pulls their bag from the back. “You know I hate that cliché.”
 
Abby laughs. “Clichés have a basis in reality you know. That’s why they’re clichés.” She teases him.
 
He rolls his eyes and pinches her butt. “You’re my wife. I don’t think they’d be suspicious very long.”
 
“You just keep believing that, Kovač.” She takes his hand as they walk into the terminal. 
 
Luka finds the United line. “I do believe it. You love me too much to let me be arrested.” He smiles down at her.
 
Abby squeezes his hand. “I guess I do.” She gives him a puzzled smile when they step to the front of the line and the clerk gives their destination. She pulls out her ID and hands it over. “Luka…”
 
He smiles at her. “We’re going back to our beginning, Abby.” Luka takes their boarding passes, smiling at the young clerk who gives a sigh when they walk away. 
 
“What…” Abby shakes her head. 
 
“We haven’t been back to Chicago in three years. I thought it would be fun to see what’s changed.” He lifts their joined hands to his lips. “And what hasn’t.”
 
Abby grins at him. “Okay.”
 
Luka chuckles as they move to the security line. “Did you know Rachel Greene matched at County?”
 
“Did she?” Abby gives him a look. “Did Archie tell you that?”
 
“Yeah. I wanted to make sure he was on this weekend. It will be good to see him.”
 
“It will. I’m still bummed we had to miss his wedding.”
 
“Me too.” He empties his pockets into the bin and waits for Abby to do the same and drop her bag on the belt. 
 
They settle in chairs at their gate. Abby reaches for his hand. “Where do you want to eat?”
 
“We have reservations at Shaw’s tonight.” He smiles softly at her.
 
She leans over to kiss him. “Thanks.” Abby runs a hand over his hair. “Where are we staying?”
 
Luka grins at her, his eyes twinkling. “

That

is staying a surprise.”
 
Abby lifts a brow. “Seriously?” 
 
“Yes.” He nods firmly, telling her not to bother arguing.
 
She grins. “Okay. It was nice of Shelly and Ted to keep Joe for the weekend.”
 
“It was. I went back and forth on taking him or not. But I thought we should take this trip just you and me. He’ll have fun with Kenny and Kara.”
 
“He will.” Abby leans back and sighs. “What else are we doing this weekend?”
 
“I’m not telling you that, either.”
 
“You have no idea, do you?” Abby grins at him.
 
Luka shrugs. “I have a vague outline.” He smiles at her. “We should hit Navy Pier. Maybe do some shopping.”
 
Abby sighs. “I miss Michigan Avenue, I really do.”
 
He squeezes her hand. “Then we’ll put it on the list.” 
 
*********************************************

“Should we rent a car?” Luka smiles at her as they wait for their bag. 
 
“What kind of Chicagoans would we be if we did that? We know how to get everywhere by L.”
 
“Okay, but let’s grab a cab for the first leg. The ride from O’Hare is ridiculous.” He grabs their suitcase from the belt. 
 
Abby laughs. “True.” She lifts her face when they walk outside. “God, you forget how bitter the wind is in January in this city.”
 
Luka snorts as they head for a cab. “I never believed the hype about the ‘Windy City’ until I moved here. It’s brutal.”
 
Pulling up in front of County, Abby feels a little melancholy. She loves Boston, truly. The life she and Luka were building there was everything she’d ever wanted. She loves her hospital, and Luka loves his. But County General would

always

be home. 
 
Luka squeezes her hand and pays the driver. Pulling the bag out when he opens the trunk, Luka thanks him and takes Abby’s hand. “You okay?”
 
She smiles. “Yeah. I miss this place, and seeing it again…”
 
Luka lifts her hand to his lips as they walk inside. “I know.” He grins when Abby taps on the glass of the cage, seeing who was working triage.
 
“Hey, bitch, can we get some help out here?”
 
Chuny’s eyes snap up, full of fire, ready to skewer whoever had interrupted her. When she sees them grinning at her, she squeals and hits the release for the door. “Oh my

God

!” She throws her arms around Abby, squeezing tight in a bouncing hug. She turns and gives Luka the same treatment, laughing when he lifts her off her feet. “What are you guys

doing

here? I had no idea you were coming!” 
 
Abby smirks. “Neither did I.”
 
Luka shrugs and smiles. “I let Archie know, but told him to keep it quiet. I’m surprised he managed it.”
 
“Hey, I resemble that remark.” Archie Morris strolls up and gives Abby the same treatment Chuny had. He clasps Luka’s hand and slaps his shoulder. “I wasn’t sure when you were coming and I didn’t want everybody turning up and overwhelming you.”
 
Abby turns to admit to see Frank watching her. “It’s about time you two decided to grace us with your presence.” He grumbles. 
 
She grins at him and reaches over to pat his cheek. “We missed you, too, Frank. Is Jerry here?”
 
“Nah. He’s off today. I’ll be sure to tell him he missed you.”
 
Luka smirks. “We’ll try to stop by again before we leave.”
 
“Come on in the lounge a minute.” Archie grabs Abby’s elbow and steers her inside, Luka trailing behind.
 
They walk in to find Sam, arguing with Gates. “Listen, if you…” She trails off, eyes widening. “Um, hi guys.” Sam walks forward and gives Abby a hug, turning to give Luka an awkward hug as well. 
 
“Hi. Everything okay?” Luka gives Gates a sympathetic smile. 
 
She grins sheepishly. “Yeah. It’s fine. Just a disagreement about Alex.”
 
Luka smiles. “How’s he doing?”
 
“Great. He’s at UIC.”
 
“He wants to be a mechanic.” Gates mutters. He shakes his head when Sam glares at him. “Hi Doctor Kovač, Doctor Lockhart.”
 
Abby smiles. “It’s Kovač and Kovač now.”
 
Sam grins at her. “Nice. What are you guys doing here?”
 
“Just a weekend trip for Abby’s birthday.” 
 
“That’s great.” Gates smiles at them. “Where’s the little Kovač?”
 
“Spending the weekend with his best friend. Luka decided to surprise me. I had no idea where we were going until we got to the airport.” 
 
Morris grins. “You’re still a big softie, aren’t you?” 
 
Luka shrugs. “So how’s it going around here?”
 
Morris lifts a shoulder. “Same old. Banfield has grown on us. She’s not the tyrant we all thought she’d be.”
 
Sam laughs. “She falls somewhere between Romano and Weaver. Probably closer to Weaver.”
 
Abby grins at her. “Well, I guess that’s not too terrible. Where’s Haleh?”
 
“Off today. She’s on Sunday. You should stop in again, or you’ll never hear the end of it.”
 
“We will.” She drops down on the couch. “So what’s the gossip?”
 
Sam smirks at Archie, who shrugs. “Claudia’s pregnant.” He says in a rush, like he’d been dying to tell them.
 
Luka grins and pats his back. “That’s great. Congratulations.”
 
He sighs. “Yeah. We’ve been arguing about her cutting back on her duties. She’s riding a desk right now, and she hates it.” He shrugs. “It makes me happy, but boy is she cranky.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes at him. “She’s a cop, Archie. Of course she hates it. Plus, pregnant.”
 
“Yeah, well. I just want her and the baby safe.”
 
Luka glances at Abby, his eyes softening, he sits beside her. “I understand that very well. But it’s her job.”
 
Morris scowls. “I know. Not only her job, it’s who she is. It’s just hard sometimes, that’s all.”
 
“Understandable.” Luka grins over at Gates and lifts a brow. “You two married yet?”
 
Sam shrugs. “Eventually. Maybe.”
 
Gates sends Luka a smirk. “I’ll wear her down. Eventually.”
 
Luka laughs. “Good luck with that. Look how long it took me with this one.” He jerks a thumb at Abby. 
 
Abby snorts. “Make sure the proposal is a good one. That might speed things up.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “I’ll never live that down.”
 
Abby grins at him. “Nope.”
 
“We should get going. We’ve got a lot planned.” Luka pulls Abby up with him.
 
“It was great to see you guys.” She smiles at them.
 
“Come back more often. It’s been too long.” Gates smiles at them.
 
Walking to the L, Abby smiles and elbows him. “Nice dodge not calling Sam out for her commitment issues.”
 
He laughs. “You should talk.”
 
“Hey. I was committed. I just like to make you work for things.” 
 
“Don’t I know it.” Luka drops his head to kiss her. 
 
“I can’t believe Archie Morris is a married man with a baby on the way.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “Love does crazy things to you.”
 
Abby tips her head up to smile at him. “Boy, if that’s not one of the truest things you’ve ever said to me.”
 
He chuckles and pulls her onto the train. Wrapping an arm around her, he leans down and murmurs in her ear. “You’ve made me crazy since the first time I saw you, Abby.”
 
She shivers at his husky voice against her ear. There was still something strangely erotic about his deep, accented voice. Especially when she wasn’t looking at him. They had known each other for over thirteen years, she had a feeling she was never going to be used to it. 
 
Luka grabs the bag and his wife’s hand at the stop they needed. He was suddenly desperate for her. 
 
As they walk down from the platform, Abby recognizes their surroundings. “Luka…”
 
Luka brings her hand to his lips. “I told you we were going back to our beginning.” He pulls open the lobby door of the hotel he’d once lived in. 
 
Abby stands back and waits for him to check them in. The lobby still looked the same. With the piano bar off to one side and flowers and crystal arranged in groupings. Luka smiles at her when he’s finished. “Still looks the same.”
 
“It does. Let’s see what else is the same.” He pulls her toward the elevators, pushing the button for the twelfth floor. 
 
She smiles. “If you tell me you got us your old room…”
 
Luka’s eyes twinkle down at her. “Okay, I won’t tell you.” 
 
She sighs and rises on her toes to kiss him. “I never know what to say when you do things like this.” She whispers against his mouth and runs her hand through his hair. “Thank you never seems like enough.”
 
He pulls her off the elevator and down the hall to room 1214. Luka opens the door and moves inside. He drops his mouth to hers again. “Thank you is more than enough.” He deepens the kiss as she sighs, and he drops their bag where they stood. 
 
Abby glances around and smiles. “They haven’t changed much. Maybe new paint. But the couch looks the same.”
 
Luka takes her hand and sits on the arm, as he had so many years before. “I have very fond memories of this room.”
 
Abby smiles and steps into him, linking her hands around his neck. “Me too. I know I always gave you a hard time about living here, but it was nice. The room service on demand was the best part.”
 
Luka pulls her closer and slips the coat from her shoulders. “Hmmm.” He rubs his lips over hers. “I was thinking the best part was that the first time I made love to you was in this room.”
 
Abby’s knees go weak at his words, and she takes his face in her hands, smiling into his eyes. “You’re right. That was definitely the best part.” She lowers her forehead to his. “I love you, Luka.” 
 
Taking her by the hips, Luka pulls her flush against him, bringing his mouth to hers, he kisses her long and deep. “I love you too. Abby…” he sighs, suddenly helpless against the storm of emotion inside himself.
 
She smiles and takes his hands, drawing him up and over to the bed. She trails a finger down his chest, down to the hem of his sweater. Pulling it over his head, she leans forward to press a kiss to his neck. “Maybe we should reenact it.”
 
Luka smiles and pulls her own sweater over her head, trailing his fingers along the edge of her bra. “It would be a shame if we didn’t.” He hitches her up and turns to lay her on the bed, groaning when she pulls him down with her. Sliding his hands over her body, he vividly remembers the first time they had done this together. Abby had given him reason to hope again. To love again.
 
“Luka…” Abby sighs and strokes his hair as his mouth trails along her collarbone. She too remembered their first time. She had been so worried about him, needing to comfort him, and not understanding why she had felt so compelled to be with him. But he had made her

feel

again. Almost too much. It had been terrifying and exhilarating and beautiful. 
 
Luka lifts his head, smiling into her eyes while his hand works her bra open. “I’m glad we came.” He lowers his mouth to her breast, relishing in her moan. He was desperate to touch and kiss every inch of her, just as he always was.
 
Abby sighs and runs her hands over his back, nails digging in and making him groan. It was so familiar now when they came together, but always different, always exciting. Sliding her hands down, she works the button of his jeans free, peeling them over his hips. She needed to feel him against her, inside her. She gasps when he makes quick work of her jeans. Letting her head fall back when he lowers his mouth to the juncture between her neck and shoulder, she strokes his arms.
 
Luka nibbles at the spot on her neck he knew drove her crazy. Sliding his hand between her naked thighs, she cries out when he finds her hot and wet and ready for him. He lifts his head again to look in her clouded eyes. “Abby, look at me.” He was hard as iron, as ready for her as she was for him. 
 
She blinks her eyes clear and smiles as he moves to brace himself over her. She lifts her hands to his face. “Come inside me, Luka.” Pulling his mouth to hers as he enters her, she groans and lifts her hips to match him as he starts to move.
 
Luka drops his head to her neck, taking her hands tight in his as he thrusts. Their love for each other taking the simple physical act to something more, something perfect. He groans as Abby tightens around him, her orgasm sending him over the edge so they come together. 
 
Abby grins when he rolls and pulls her on top of him, settling her head in the curve of his shoulder and stroking her hair. She slides a hand over his chest. “That was a really nice walk down memory lane.”
 
Luka chuckles and presses a kiss to her head. “It really was.”
 
She tilts her head up to smile at him. “What time is dinner?”
 
“Seven.” He glances at the bedside clock. “Time for a nap before we go eat crab legs.”
 
She shifts to prop herself on her elbow and look down at him. “Is a nap really what you want to do?”
 
Luka grins up at her, his blood heating again. “No.” He draws her mouth down to his. “Happy Birthday, Abby.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Hey.” Luka opens his eyes and squints up at Abby when she strokes his hair and kisses his forehead.
 
“Hi. How are you feeling?”
 
Luka struggles to sit up, and she gently nudges him back down. He rolls his eyes. “I’m okay.”
 
Abby cocks a brow at him. “Really?”
 
He sighs. “No. Could you get me some water? I should take the Tramadol.”
 
Abby strokes his cheek and goes to the bathroom, returning with a cup of water and his pills. She grins when he grimaces. “I know you hate taking meds. Just suck it up, Luka.”
 
He smirks and swallows them. “You should talk.” 
 
Abby sighs and sits on the bed next to him, taking his good hand. “I know it.” She leans her head on his shoulder. “Did you get some rest today?”
 
Luka shifts a little and squeezes her hand. “Yeah. How was your shift?”
 
Abby turns her head to give him a baleful stare. “It was fine. Don’t change the subject.”
 
“Abby, I laid in bed all day. I didn’t do anything strenuous, or get into any trouble.”
 
She pokes his belly. “Stop it. You scared the shit out of me, Luka. Excuse me for being just a tiny bit worried about you.” She scowls and starts to pull away.
 
He tightens his grip on her hand and pulls her back in, wrapping his arm around her. “I’m sorry.” Luka kisses the top of her head. “I’m not used to being in this position.”
 
Abby sighs. “I know. But I need you to talk to me.” She shifts closer to him. “Luka, you were taken out of our home at gunpoint. If that didn’t fuck with your head, I’d be even

more

worried.”
 
He leans his head on top of hers. “I wasn’t afraid of Ames, or the gun.”
 
“Seriously?”
 
“Yeah. I’ve been in situations like that before. You just don’t feel the fear. It’s weird, but it’s like adrenaline takes over or something.”
 
Abby nods. “Okay, I get it.”
 
He tightens his arm around her. “What I

was

afraid of was never seeing you or Joe again.”
 
She turns her head to kiss him. “I’m sorry.” 
 
“For what? Don’t you ever apologize for that. For meaning so much to me. You’re the center of my world, Abby. You and Joe are everything to me, and I’ll do anything and everything to keep you safe. I don’t regret that one bit.”
 
“Yes, you made that painfully obvious.” Abby tries for her usual sarcasm, but her voice hitches.
 
“Hey.” He pulls back to look in her troubled eyes. “I love you. I need you safe. Going with Ames was the only way I could guarantee that.”
 
“But…”
 
Luka sighs and brushes his lips over hers. “I know it’s hard for you to understand. But if anything would have happened to either of you, I wouldn’t survive it.”
 
Abby nods, even as her heart squeezes. The depth of what they felt for each other was terrifying at times, but it was so

right.

“I know. I feel the same way. It’s why I was so afraid.”  She whispers. 
 
“When we were on the roof, I thought he was going to kill me. All I could do was try to convince him that my family needed me. It was the only thing that mattered. I would have said or done anything if it meant he would let me go and I could get back to you.”
 
Abby nods again, not bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m glad you did.”
 
“I’m not going to tell you everything he said or did. I don’t want that in your head. The important thing is I’m here, and we’re all safe. Together.”
 
Abby lifts her hand to smooth it over his hair. “I’m so glad.” She leans in to take his mouth with hers. “I love you.” 
 
Luka smiles. “I know. Where’s Joe?”
 
“He was asleep in his car seat when we got back. I put him down. I need to feed him.”
 
He squeezes her. “Go get him. You can feed him in here.”
 
Abby nods and rises. “Thank you for telling me all that.”
 
Luka cocks a brow at her. “Maybe you can tell me what

you

needed to talk about before all this happened.”
 
Abby sighs. “Yeah. I’ll be right back.”
 
Luka leans back against the headboard. He lifts his splinted hand to study it. His range of motion was pretty much non-existent, but the swelling had gone down. Traumas were going to be tricky for awhile, and CPR wouldn’t be possible for even longer. But he hoped that the week he’d given himself would at least get him back to work, even in a limited capacity. He smiles when Abby carries Joe in and settles next to him again, tugging her shirt open so he could nurse. Luka strokes a finger over his son’s head. “You’re both beautiful.”
 
Abby smiles shyly at him. “You are too.”
 
Luka chuckles. “So now it’s your turn. Tell me what happened.”
 
Abby sighs and shifts her arm under her son. “You remember Eddie?”
 
Luka raises a brow. “That patient you were so worried about?”
 
“Yeah. I tracked him down in this dive bar his hotel said he might be hanging at.”
 
“You...Abby, that’s ridiculous.”
 
She rolls her eyes. “I

know.

”
 
“He could have been dangerous.” Luka starts to get angry. “And I don’t like the idea of you tracking patients down in seedy bars.”
 
“You...what?” Abby takes a breath. “Okay, first of all, you don’t get to tell me what to do. I get that you’re pissed, and part of it is probably because of what happened a few days ago, but you’re not my keeper.”
 
“No, but you’re the mother of my child and the woman I love. I think that gives me the right to be pissed when you do something stupid!” 
 
Abby scowls at him and then sighs. “You’re right.”
 
Luka opens his mouth, closes it again. “I am?”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah. It

was

stupid. And you do have a right to be upset. Especially considering everything else. But you still don’t get to tell me what to do.”
 
Luka’s lips thin and he nods. “Okay. That’s fair.”
 
“I didn’t know why I was so worried about him. I just knew I was and it was important for me to find him.” She switches Joe to her other breast, and takes Luka’s hand.
 
“Okay. So what did you find?”
 
“He’s my father.” Abby looks over to find Luka gaping at her. “Yeah.”
 
“You haven’t heard from him in years.” Luka slides his arm up to wrap it around her again. “Are you sure?”
 
“Yes. Once he said it, I

knew.

It all made sense.” She sighs. “He said Maggie told him where I was and he just wanted to see for himself how I was doing.”
 
Luka nods, unsure what to say. “So what did you do?”
 
“I told him to get fucked, basically.” She shifts a little. “I haven’t heard from him since I was sixteen, and he tries to sneak back into my life? He’s a coward, Luka, and I don’t need him.”
 
Luka studies her, knowing the stubborn set of her chin very well. There would be no changing her mind at the moment. “Alright. It’s up to you, obviously, but I

will

say that the fact that he contacted you now must mean something.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “What? That after thirty-some years he’s suddenly developed a conscious?”
 
Luka shrugs. “I don’t know. But whatever you decide to do, I’m with you.” He lifts her hand to his lips. 
 
Abby smiles a little. “Want to call Maggie and bitch her out for me?” She grins when he snorts. “You handle her better than I do.”
 
He leans in to kiss her. “You handle her just fine. But I’m happy to call and yell at her, if that helps.”
 
Abby laughs and shakes her head. “Thanks, but I should probably do it myself.” She shifts Joe and holds him up, grinning at him. “Are you full, finally?” He gives her a sleepy smile. 
 
Luka reaches over to take him, sliding her shirt closed in the process. He grins when Abby tilts her head. “You were tempting me.” 
 
Abby rolls her eyes and snorts. “I could be wearing sweatpants and a parka. You’d still be tempted.”
 
He laughs. “True. Love is strange.” He leans in to kiss her again. “Why don’t you get ready for bed? We can all watch a movie right here.”
 
Abby slides off the bed. “Okay. Luka?” 
 
She glances over her shoulder at his absent “Hmm?” 
 
“Thank you.”
 
“For what?” He smiles at her. 
 
“Everything.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“So we’re going to have three

other

foreigners here to explain things to?”
 
Luka rolls his eyes at his son in the rearview mirror. At thirteen, Joe was a champion smartass. He blames Abby. “Don’t be snotty.” 
 
Abby slides her eyes over to her husband. “He’s not wrong, you know. Every year we find something new to explain to

you

.”
 
Luka snorts. “That’s true. But if American customs weren’t so weird, you wouldn’t need to explain anything.”
 
Abby grins. “I suppose. You do realize you

are

an American now though. It’s getting kinda lame. Study up, Kovač.”
 
Luka sighs and parks. “Just try not to tease them too much.”
 
Joe smirks. “Because they never tease

us

?”
 
Abby climbs out of the car laughing and points at her son, eyes twinkling at Luka. “Also not wrong.”
 
He laughs. “True. Tease away.” Luka takes his wife’s hand and slings an arm over his boy’s shoulder as they walk inside Logan. “It’s too bad Ante couldn’t make it this time.”
 
Joe shrugs. “I hear Medical school is a bitch.”
 
Abby cuffs him on the side of the head. “Watch the mouth, pal.”
 
He gives his mother an innocent look. “What’d I say? Medical school?”
 
Luka snorts and pokes his arm. “Stop antagonizing your mother.” 
 
“But it’s really easy.” Joe grins and ducks out of the way of Abby’s playful swat. 
 
She glares at Luka. “He gets it from you.”
 
He leans down to kiss her scowling mouth. “He’s right. You make it easy.” Luka laughs when she bites him. “It’s part of why I love you.”
 
Abby casts her eyes to the ceiling while everything inside her warms. “I love you too. Asshole.”
 
Joe glances over from trying to find their family’s flight status on the board. “Watch the mouth, Mom.”
 
Defeated, Abby shakes her head and gestures at the board. “They’re on the ground.”
 
Luka nods and turns toward the ramp. He grins when his sister-in-law spots him and smirks. 
 
Ana strides forward and grabs him by the ears, yanking his face down for a hard kiss. “Nedostajao si nam.”
 
Luka rests his forehead against hers and gives her a squeeze. “I vi ste nedostajali.” He turns and grins at his brother, who is hugging Abby. “Hej seronjo! Makni moju ženu.” 
 
Niko turns with his arm around Abby and grins at his brother. He raises an eyebrow. “Skloni ruke od mojih.” 
 
Luka laughs and strides forward to embrace his brother. “Welcome back.” 
 
“I hope you got a big turkey. We’re starving.” Niko hooks his arm around Joe’s neck. “How many of your girlfriends are coming, Josip?”
 
Ivan rolls his eyes. “Like this little shit even has one girlfriend.” 
 
Joe smirks at his cousin and uncle. “Mom wouldn’t let me invite them all.” 
 
“Yeah, I’m a horrible mother.” She smiles at Ana. “A few of our other friends are coming, if that’s okay with you.”
 
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Ana grabs her bag from the belt. “You two have good taste.”
 
Luka grins. “One of them is Abby’s old boyfriend.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes toward him. “And his wife.” 
 
Niko grins. “This should be interesting.”
 
*************************************

Niko leans against the counter sipping a beer while Luka slides green beans in the oven. “So this Jake guy used to be with Abby?”
 
Luka smirks. “It’s a long story. They dated for a few months before we got back together.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t very serious, and I was with someone else. He ended up at the same hospital as Abby, and we’ve gotten to be friends. He married one of the nurses they work with.”
 
Niko snorts. “Hospitals are a lot of drama and messy romantic entanglements.”
 
“You have no idea.” Luka smiles when Jake wanders in. “Speak of the Devil.”
 
“Uh oh. Has the subject of me and your wife been brought up

again?

” Jake sends a winning smile in Niko’s direction. “Abby broke my heart many years ago. I’m almost over her.” 
 
Niko laughs. “She’s hard to get over. I know that from this big bastard.” He gestures at Luka, who rolls his eyes. “Your wife is lovely. She’s a nurse?”
 
Jake grabs a carrot from the veggie platter and crunches in. “Yeah. Abby actually set us up. Or more like she gave us both a kick in the ass when she kept seeing the little hearts floating around our heads. She told us to just make out and get it over with.” Jake grins. “So we did. The rest is history.”
 
“Just doing my part for true love.” Abby comes in to finish her potatoes. The only part of the meal Luka refuses to cook. “I was tired of the nausea every day.”
 
Luka pats her hip. “Making out is the best way to start an epic romance.”
 
Abby smirks at him. “At least Sophie didn’t get pregnant.”
 
“I was talking about the first time.” Luka smiles softly at her.
 
She rises on her toes to kiss him. “I wouldn’t call that making out. But I appreciate the sentiment.”
 
Niko shakes his head, elated as always to see his brother so happy. “Do you two need to go up to your room? We can wait.”
 
Abby snorts. “Shut up.” She hands him the bowl of potatoes. “Take this in, and tell everyone five minutes.” 
 
Luka leans over to Abby while everyone fills their plates. “This worked out good.”
 
Abby squeezes his hand under the table. “Yeah. I always kind of wanted these big, family holidays. I’m glad we can have them now.” She smiles at Joe, who is gesturing with a dinner roll and having a heated discussion with Ivan about football. 
 
Ana smiles at them. “Don’t Americans have some tradition about telling the things they’re thankful for?”
 
Joe groans. “Do we

have

to?”
 
Jake pokes his arm. “Yes. You go first.”
 
He rolls his eyes and smirks. “Okay. I’m thankful my mom has stopped calling football ‘soccer’.” 
 
Abby sticks her tongue out at him. “Sometimes I wonder if

you’re

American.” She grins when Joe laughs. 
 
Ana smirks at Abby. “I’m thankful I’ve talked my sister into shopping tomorrow so I can get the full American experience.”
 
Abby laughs. “You won’t be saying that tomorrow after the crowds, trust me. But I’m happy to oblige.”
 
Luka covers Abby’s hand with his. “I’m thankful for all of you. But especially the two who live with me. I’m grateful every day that Abby needed to yell at me.”
 
Abby turns her head and smiles at him while the others look on in curiosity. “And I’m thankful you needed to shut me up.” She grins when Luka leans in to kiss her.
 
Sophie snorts. “She bitches about

our

heart eyes.” 
 
Jake laughs and strokes her wrist. “They’ve always been that way. Even when they weren’t together.”
 
Niko raises his glass. “I’m Thankful that most of my family can be together today.” He grins. “And making out and heart eyes and all of the rest of it.”
 
Luka follows Abby into the kitchen with a stack of plates. The rest had scattered into the living areas to watch football or play games. He sets them on the counter and slips his arms around her. “I’m thankful you love me.” He murmurs in her ear.
 
Abby sighs and leans against him. “Thank you for loving me back.” She gives his arms a squeeze. “Go watch football. I’ve got this, you did most of the cooking.”
 
Luka raises a brow. “That’s not football.” He grins when she snorts. “But okay.” He strokes a hand down her arm. “Happy Thanksgiving, Abby.”
 
She smiles at him. “Happy Thanksgiving, Luka.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby lays flat on her back, stunned and thrilled in equal measure. Turning her head, she notes that Luka has his eyes closed, with that smug and satisfied grin that he

always

gets after sex. She pokes him. “Are we still staying ‘just friends’?”
 
Luka’s grin spreads wider and he cracks one eye open. “I think we can give up on trying for that.”
 
Abby rolls to prop herself on her elbow so she can look down at him. “Yeah. We were pretty much doomed to fail.” She grins at him. “Do you know Frank and Jerry were taking bets on us?”
 
“What?” Luka squints up at her.
 
“I found out yesterday. Kerry gave our willpower the longest. She had us imploding next week. Haleh figured we’ve been doing it all along.”
 
Luka laughs. “Jesus Christ. There aren’t

any

secrets at County, are there.”
 
Abby giggles. “Nope. I thought about trying to get in on the action. But that seemed wrong.”
 
He lifts a brow. “You should have. We could have split the winnings.”
 
Abby shifts to straddle him, sighing when his hands slide up and down her sides. “What makes you think I would have split it with you? You didn’t even know about it until I told you.”
 
Luka bites his lip to keep from laughing. “You have too much integrity not to split it. It wouldn’t have been fair to keep it all.” He slides his hands up to cup her breasts.
 
Abby’s head falls back and she grins. “You’re right. I would have felt like I was taking advantage of you…” She gasps when Luka rears up, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist. 
 
He grips her hair and pulls her mouth to his, murmuring against her lips. “I don’t mind you taking advantage of me.”
 
She grins at him. “I know it. I like that about you.” Abby giggles when he tumbles her to her back. Her heart was bursting with joy and contentment. Here was what she had been missing for so long. Luka was not only her lover (again), but he was her best friend. Her

person

. Being in his arms again was like coming home.
 
Luka sighs as he drops his head to Abby’s neck and nuzzles. Holding her again like this was overwhelming him in ways he couldn’t explain. He knew he had missed her. Had tried everything and anything to shove those feelings down and away. But they had always been there, closer to the surface than he cared to admit. Having her again was making him see things with crystal-clear clarity. She was the one he needed. He smiles at her quiet moan, stroking his hand down her side to grip her thigh and spread her legs farther apart. 
 
Raising his head, Luka watches her face as he strokes his thumb along the crease between her thigh and her center, touching her softly. Her breath catches when he moves his hand to cup her, lowering his mouth to her breast and nibbling gently while his hand pleasures her.
 
Abby’s head falls back and she groans, hips jerking up as an orgasm crashes through her. “Luka….

fuck.”

Amused, and insanely aroused, he slides up her body to take her mouth again. “If you insist.” He whispers it as he slips inside her again, nibbling at her lips as he starts to move. 
 
Abby laughs as she takes his hands, letting her hips rise and fall in rhythm with his thrusts. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulls him closer, sliding her hands up to grip his shoulders, fingers digging in and making him groan. He sets a fast pace, and it thrills her, knowing he wants her as badly as she wants him. She cries out his name as she comes again, the climax shimmering through her. 
 
Luka smiles against her lips as he coils and shuddering, empties himself inside her. Collapsing, he chuckles against her throat, nuzzling her. “We’re still friends aren’t we?”
 
Yawning, Abby smirks. She strokes his hair. “We’ll always be friends, Luka.”

*********************************************
 
Abby opens her eyes to see the other side of the bed empty. Strangely deflated, she sits up and looks around. Luka’s clothes were gone, and the outfit she’d had on the night before was folded neatly on the chair she kept in her bedroom. She smiles a little, thinking of his habit of tossing clothes everywhere, and then making sure to pick them up as soon as possible. So many things about him were exactly the same. But she knew he had changed as well. She sighs and frowns. Resigned that he’d left, she reaches for her robe and starts to climb out of bed. 
 
Luka pushes open the door to her bedroom with two cups of coffee in hand. He was wearing the clothes that he’d had on last night, but hadn’t bothered buttoning the shirt. He grins at her when she stares blankly at him. “I’ve missed your morning demeanor.”
 
Abby takes the coffee and sips, eyeing him over the rim of the cup. “I thought you left.”
 
He raises a brow. “Have I ever just left without saying goodbye?”
 
Abby plays with her duvet, strangely self-conscious in the harsh morning sunlight. “Things change, Luka.”
 
He sighs and sits beside her, taking her hand. “They don’t change

that

much.” He bumps her with his shoulder. “Hey. Don’t be weird about this. We’re not going to do that this time.”
 
Turning her head, she smiles a little. “We’re not?”
 
“No.” He states definitely. Leaning in to kiss her when she lets out a laugh, he squeezes her hand. “Come on. I made breakfast.”
 
“With what? I haven’t been to the grocery store in a week.”
 
Luka laughs and pulls her up. “I’m inventive.”
 
Abby smirks at that. “You certainly are.” She grins as a flush rises up the back of his neck at her words. 
 
“Hmmm. You had the stuff for pancakes. Easy enough.” He nudges her down at her kitchen table and sets a plate in front of her. “Eat.”
 
Abby picks up her fork and studies him. “I guess things don’t change all that much.”
 
Luka smiles at her and takes a bite of his own pancakes. “Nope. Are you on today?”
 
She shakes her head. “No, you?”
 
“Tonight. I’m on nights the rest of the week.”
 
“Me too.” She smiles. “It’s nice when we work the same shift.”
 
“As long as Clemente’s not there?” He raises a brow.
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “You two are idiots. You know that, right? Yesterday was ridiculous.”
 
Luka snorts and shrugs. “Neither of us like being told what to do. Maybe it will get better now.”
 
“Yeah, right. Somehow I don’t think your promotion is going to matter one bit to him.” 
 
“Probably not. At least I can do something about it now.” He leans forward and takes her hand. “Enough about Clemente. How do you want to handle things at work?”
 
Abby’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
 
Luka watches her. “I mean how open do we want to be about this?”
 
Abby bites her lip and looks up at him with fire in her eyes. “I’m not going to sneak around, Luka. This isn’t some illicit affair. Not for me.”
 
His jaw drops. “That’s not what I meant.”
 
“Are you worried about Sam finding out?” The words are out before she can stop them.
 
“No.” Luka states it definitely. “Sam and I are over. If she doesn’t like the idea of me being happy with someone else, that’s too damn bad. We were miserable together anyways.”
 
Abby opens her mouth to speak and then thinks better of it. This is the first time Luka had come out and admitted how unhappy he’d been. It had been obvious to Abby, but she hadn’t brought it up, as it hadn’t been her business. But now…
 
Luka smiles a little. “What are you thinking? I can see the tires spinning in your head.”
 
“Wheels spinning.” Abby laughs a little and grips his hand. “Promise not to get mad at me if I tell you what I’m thinking?”
 
“I’ll do my best.”
 
“I know how hurt you were when she ended things. I’m sorry for it. But I’m glad she did. I could see how unhappy you were, and it was pissing me off.” She takes another bite of her pancakes.
 
He gives her a small grin. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
 
Abby shrugs and swallows. “Not my place. I’m sorry she hurt you. But I’ve been so glad to see you smiling again lately.”
 
Luka stares at her, and shifting his chair over, he gives her a tug to pull her over and into his lap. “You’re one of the reasons I’ve been smiling again.” He kisses her forehead. “I also want to say it’s always been your place. I’m sorry I shut you out for awhile.”
 
Abby nods. “I’ve shut you out before too. I understand. You were trying to make it work with her.” She pulls back and grins at him. “As misguided as that might have been.”
 
Luka sighs. “I didn’t want to screw up another relationship. I think I would have ended it a long time ago if it wasn’t for that. And there was Alex.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “I know. I figured he was part of it.” She brushes his hair back from his forehead. “I’m sorry.”
 
Luka shrugs. “It is what it is. I’m not his father. I couldn’t be his father in the way I wanted to be. He didn’t want that, and neither did Sam. I should have seen it earlier.” 
 
Abby pulls him in and strokes his hair, knowing there’s nothing she can say to soothe that hurt for him.
 
He sighs. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for this to get so deep.”
 
She laughs. “It’s okay. If we’re going to do this, we need to be able to talk about things.”
 
Luka lifts his head and grins. “Want to talk about Carter? Or Jake?”
 
Abby pinches his belly. “Shut up.” She leans in to kiss him when he laughs. “So to answer your earlier question, I’m fine with people knowing about us. As long as you are. I don’t think we need to make an announcement or anything. They’ll figure it out soon enough.”
 
He nods. “Agreed.” Luka cocks his head at her. “Who else was in on the betting?”
 
Abby snorts. “Morris, Pratt, Chuny and Malik.”
 
Luka casts his eyes to the ceiling. “Why am I not surprised it’s that group?”
 
“Right? They live for gossip.” She strokes his arm. “I suppose you need to get going.”
 
Luka cocks a brow. “I was thinking I might run home and grab some things. I can come back and we can spend the day together.”
 
Abby bites her lip. “Don’t you need to get some sleep?”
 
He gives her the sexy little smirk that always makes her heart flutter. “I can sleep here, can’t I?” He trails his finger over her shoulder.
 
She shivers and her eyes flutter closed. “Uh...sure.”
 
Luka grins and scoops her up in his arms, walking back to her bedroom. “I’ll go get my stuff later.”
 
Abby laughs and kisses him hard. “I think that’s a very good idea.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

He was fucked. Luka tries again to shift the gurney and make some noise. Any noise. Why the

hell

had he gotten involved that way? His penchant for playing the hero had gotten him in a mess. Again. He tries to kick out with his foot, with the extraneous belief that maybe he’d hit something this time. But the Vec was still working on his system and he couldn’t move.
 
Goddamnit. This is

his

ER. He’s responsible for the staff and the patients. What was happening? He hopes Sam will be okay, but at the moment, he curses himself for trying to help. He should have called security when he’d found the door locked and the blinds closed. Instead, he’d barged in to find Steve and his friends holding Sam hostage, with the prison guards tied up and unconscious on the floor. Going after Steve had been

stupid

, no matter how much the man deserved an ass kicking. He’d been outnumbered and they had guns. He was lucky that the woman had only stabbed him with a paralytic. She could have shot him. Sam had probably saved his life by doing the intubation, but he couldn’t be bothered to care when he was paralyzed, unable to talk, and strapped to a gurney. Simply being alive wouldn’t help him right now. 
 
The gunshots ring out over the insane noise level of the ER. Panic rolls through him as he tries to move again.

Abby.

Fuck, fuck,

fuck!

They were shooting. The woman he loves is out there, pregnant with their child. He’s helpless to move, to get to her. His chest, already tight from the intubation and paralytic, feels like a weight has dropped on it. This was

not happening

again. Luka manages, finally, to shift his hips and hop the gurney toward the shelving. He wasn’t going to be too late again. Helpless and unable to save his family. 
 
Working fruitlessly at the restraints, he curses himself for being such a shit to her that morning. He knew his woman better than anyone. Of

course

she would have the reaction she had to his impulsive, clumsy and boneheaded proposal. Jesus Christ. They could barely spit out that they loved one another. As much as they

showed

each other, neither of them were good at saying the words. Did he really think she would jump into his arms and agree to “Let’s get married”? Of course not. Giving her the cold shoulder over it was a dick move, Kovač. He rolls his eyes. They’d spent the day being irritated with each other. He hated it, and the minute he was free he was going to find her and kiss her brainless in apology.
 
His foot kicks out again, and this time, it hits the shelving, sending the gurney spinning back toward the wall. Hope springs in his chest when he sees Abby through the trauma room window, clearly looking for something. She was alive, thank God. Yanking at the restraints, he tries desperately to get her attention when he sees her stagger. Luka’s eyes pop wide in terror as she stumbles again and braces her bloody hand on the window before collapsing. 
 
No, no,

goddamnit no!

In desperation, Luka rocks the gurney as hard as he can. He has no idea what he’ll do if he manages to tip it over, but he

has

to get to Abby. She wasn’t going to die. He couldn’t lose her or the life they’d created together. He

wouldn’t

lose them. What kind of God would put a man through that twice in one lifetime? He tries screaming, but with a tube in his throat, it’s not only pointless but dangerous. Shaking the restraints, he lifts his head trying to see what was happening. 
 
Kerry. He sees her rush into the room and drop down at Abby’s side, calling for help. She must hear something, because she rises and her eyes widen in shock when she sees him. It feels like an eternity until she rushes into the room with Chuny and berates him. “Luka what the fuck?” He strains his head, trying to see the adjoining room. 
 
Chuny strokes his hair and unhooks the restraints. “Abby’s gonna be fine, Luka. Come on. She wasn’t shot, we think she fell. Relax. We’ve got to extubate.” Luka nods, his eyes trained on the doorway watching Morris and Haleh working on the love of his life. She wasn’t moving very much, and that scared the hell out of him. 
 
“Deep breath in, and...out.” Kerry pulls the tube. “What the hell happened?”
 
Coughing, Luka explains.“That trainee girl stabbed me with Vec. Sam did an intubation. How’s Abby?”
 
Kerry softens at Luka’s obvious worry for her friend and his love. “I need to check on her. Six liters O2. Call me if his pulse ox drops below ninety.” Kerry tells Chuny as she heads to the other room. 
 
Luka pushes off the gurney, rubbing his throat. 
 
“Easy, Luka. Come on.” Chuny grabs his arm in exasperation.
 
“I’m fine. Hey.” He waves a hand and bulls his way toward Abby. 
 
“You need to be monitored for at least an hour.” Kerry tells him.
 
“I’m fine, Kerry, Okay?” He shrugs her off and keeps moving while he continues coughing.
 
“You were paralyzed and intubated! You belong in the ICU. Hey!” Luka pushes past her and Kerry resigns herself. “Okay, Alright, get him a stool.”
 
Morris is calling out vitals as they come in. “Pressure’s up to one-ten on two liters. Crit’s thirty-five, fetal heart tones one-sixty.”
 
Luka hurries over to stroke Abby’s hair and kiss her head.
 
“Sounds good.” Kerry pushes a stool over and shoves Luka down on it.
 
He takes Abby’s hand. “Hey Abby. How are you doing?”
 
Abby looks around at him, confused. “How did I get here?”
 
“You passed out. You were bleeding.” He kisses her hand. 
 
“I had a cramp.” Abby looks at him, terror in her eyes. 
 
“Probably vagalled from the pain.” Kerry puts in.
 
“Has it stopped now?” Luka asks quietly.
 
Abby nods. 
 
“Seems to have slowed down.” Kerry nods and studies the ultrasound with Morris. 
 
“No sign of abruption, baby’s moving around. Looks healthy.” Morris nods with a small grin at them. 
 
Luka drops his head to Abby’s. “Congratulations, it’s a boy.” He murmurs. Abby had wanted to keep the sex a surprise, and while he had wanted to find out at first, Luka has actually come to enjoy the anticipation of not knowing. There were very few

good

surprises in life. 
 
Abby turns her face to his and smiles, rubbing her cheek against his. 
 
“Could be a placenta previa.” Kerry tells them.
 
“No, no. I..I don’t have previa.” Abby tries to sit up in a panic. 
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “They saw a low lying placenta on the twenty week ultrasound.”
 
“That would explain the bleeding. You may need a c-section.” 
 
“I don’t need a c-section!” Abby yells in exasperation. “Call Coburn.”
 
“She was paged.” Morris continues studying the ultrasound.
 
“Kerry, move me to OB.” 
 
No, but we still need a sterile spec exam…” Morris protests. 
 
“Doctor Weaver, send me up to OB.” Abby says in a low voice. Luka can feel the nerves and irritation coming off her in waves. He strokes her arm. 
 
“Vitals?”
 
“Pulse eighty-five, BP one-twelve over seventy-eight.” Chuny tells her.
 
“Alright, send her up.” Kerry moves to leave as Ray pops his head in to tell them they need help with Jerry’s airway. Morris follows him out.
 
Luka pulls the arms up on Abby’s bed and starts to move her himself. “You should stay and help with the intubation.”
 
He looks at her incredulously and shakes his head. “No, I’m coming with you.” 
 
“No, no. I’m just going up for NST. Come up after he’s tubed.”
 
Luka shakes his head again. “No.”
 
Abby gives him a pleading look, the one that he could never resist. “Luka, it’s Jerry.” 
 
Resigned, Luka takes her hand and kisses it. “Okay, page me if something changes.” He watches as she nods and Chuny wheels her out. Rubbing his throat, he moves to the other room.

***********************************

It was a short respite. Luka grips Abby’s hand and watches as their son is pulled from her womb. He’s utterly terrified, but he can’t let himself show it. Abby was fighting for

her

life, too, and he had to be strong enough for her to hold onto. . 
 
Jesus Christ. The baby was blue, and he wasn’t crying. He closes his eyes in silent prayer as the neonatologist calls for an intubation tray. Still gripping Abby’s hand, he strains to see what’s happening to his son.

His son.

Luka hadn’t truly believed, for a very long time, that he would find love, happiness and family again. But then there was Abby. A steady and warm constant in his life for the last six years, whether they were together or not. He never should have let her go the first time, and he would be

damned

if he was going to lose her again. He turns back to her while Coburn continues to mutter in frustration. 
 
“Am I in DIC?” Abby asks quietly.
 
“The FFP should reverse that, now that the baby’s out.”
 
“What if it doesn’t?” Luka asks. 
 
“We gotta control this bleeding.” Coburn snaps out.
 
“Go to the NICU.” Abby tells Luka as she closes her eyes in sadness. 
 
“No, I’m staying with you.”
 
“No. I want you to stay with the baby.” 
 
“Abby…”
 
“Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Please.

Just shut up. I want you to stay with the baby.” She looks at him in terror and desperation. 
 
Coburn looks over in sympathy. “Go. I will call you if she needs you.”
 
Abby grips his hand and chokes out through her tears, “I don’t want him to be alone.”
 
Resigned, and feeling like he was being torn in half, Luka squeezes her hand and follows the incubator. His heart was heavier than it’s been in too many years. He was making a choice between his child and the woman he loves,

again.

He knows very well that Danielja would have made the exact same choice for him that Abby just had, if she had been able. But he still carries the guilt over letting her die while he tried to save their daughter. In the end, they both had left him, along with his son, dead in his crib. 
 
Helpless, he watches as the NICU team hooks his son to monitors and wires and tubes. Closing his eyes, he curses under his breath. Trying to calm himself, he takes a deep breath and moves closer. The nurse puts a hand on his arm. “We’re doing everything we can, Doctor Kovač.”
 
Luka swallows hard. “I know. Thank you.” He continues to watch them work, trying hard to focus on the tiny life on the table, and not on selfish thoughts of what he would

do

if he lost either the baby or Abby. Squeezing his eyes shut again, he prays, as he rarely prayed, that both of them would be okay. He had spent the entire pregnancy telling Abby not to panic, to have faith that things would be okay. Yet here he was, on the edge of a breakdown, trying hard to pull out that faith for himself. 
 
Two hours later, Kerry convinces him to go be with Abby, assuring him she would stay and watch over the baby. Grateful to her, he nods and leaves.

“Hey.” Luka finds Abby in recovery, staring into space.
 
“Hi.” She smiles at him when he strokes her hair. “How’s he doing?”
 
“He’s fine.” Luka tries to infuse his voice with as much optimism as he can muster. 
 
“Still intubated?”
 
Luka pulls a stool over beside the bed and sits. “Yeah, but he’s statting well. Pressure’s holding with dopamine. He’s making urine…” he strokes a hand over her shoulder. 
 
“Brain scan?” Abby asks him, slightly panicked.
 
“Clear.” He smiles at her.
 
In relief, Abby nods and grins. “Well, those are all good things.”
 
“Yeah. All good things.” He squeezes her hand and smiles. 
 
Looking down, Abby plays with the blanket, obviously needing to tell him something, but unsure how. He gives her a questioning look. “Is one going to be enough?” She blurts it out. 
 
“What?”
 
“One baby.” Understanding washes over him as she hurries on. “Um...my uterus wouldn’t stop bleeding. Coburn did everything she could, but…” Abby shrugs a shoulder and bites her lip. 
 
Unsurprised, but saddened nonetheless, Luka asks softly. “You had a hysterectomy?” When Abby nods, Luka reaches over to stroke her face. “Well. One is all we need.” He means it. He wouldn’t trade their son for anything, and if this baby was all they could ever have? Fine with him. He could tell Abby was worried about it, worried that he would want more children and she wouldn’t be able to have them. Coupled with her own sadness over the loss of a potential for more. As much as Abby had struggled with the decision to have their child, she had thrown herself into the idea of motherhood and family. A conversation for another day, but he would make sure she knew that

she

is who he wants and needs and loves. Regardless of whether they could have more children or not. 
 
Sighing and smiling sadly, Abby brings her hand up to squeeze his arm. “So, um. I’m not going to be able to see him for awhile. I can’t get to the NICU for at least twenty-four hours.”
 
Pulling his BlackBerry from his scrubs, Luka pulls up the video he’d taken. “You don’t have to wait that long.” He hands her the phone, and lays his head on her chest, watching along with her while she strokes his neck. She laughs when the baby raises his tiny hand. “That’s when I told him to wave to mama.” He grins when she lets out a giggle. “He’s...He’s a smart one.” 
 
Abby continues stroking his hair. “Joseph.”
 
“Hmm?”
 
“I don’t remember much about my dad, but I remember when I was little he used to love to watch boxing. But especially Joe Frazier because he thought he was the best pure fighter. So…” she continues when Luka covers his mouth and chokes back a sob, overcome with emotion. “I’d like to call him Joe. If that’s okay.”
 
Luka sits quietly, trying to get control of his emotions. Unable to accomplish it, he quickly rises and leans into Abby for a kiss. “I’ll be right back. Do you need anything?” He turns and flees for the door when she shakes her head, her eyes still trained on his phone, enamored with their son. 
 
Pushing into the Men’s room down the hall, Luka turns the water on and scrubs at his hands, knowing he was near breaking down. Pulling paper towels violently from the dispenser, he turns to brace his hands on the counter. The tears come then. Flowing from deep inside of him, he cries for Danielja, Jasna and Marko. He cries for Abby and Joe. He cries for himself. Nearly losing Abby and Joe has brought everything back. The terror and despair. The grief. But he still has this love and this child. He has to find a way to pull himself together so he could be here for them. Frustrated, as the storm of emotions inside of him refused to settle, he picks up the trash can and throws it at the mirror, shattering it. Staring at his fractured reflection, he manages to calm himself a bit. 
 
Luka moves into the hall, smirking a little. Isn’t there some American superstition about broken mirrors and luck? Hell. He’s had enough bad luck for this lifetime, so fuck the universe if it thought it could give him more. Bumping into Neela calms him even more. Asking her for a few more minutes alone with Abby, he pushes back into recovery. He sits beside her again. 
 
She smiles at him and hands him his phone. “Did you just go out to cry somewhere else?”
 
Chuckling, Luka lays his head on her chest again. “Yes. Shut up.”
 
She strokes his hair. “It’s okay you know. I’m really sorry I kicked you out.”
 
Nodding, Luka closes his eyes. “I understood why you did it.”
 
Abby tips his face up to hers and leans in for a soft kiss. “I had never needed you more than in that moment. But Joe needed you even more than I did, Luka. Thank you for going with him.”
 
Swallowing hard, Luka squeezes her arm. “I love you both. I was terrified I was going to lose you.”
 
“You didn’t.” Abby runs her hand over his back. “We’re both alive. Joe’s got a hard road ahead, but we’ll get him through it.”
 
He nods and smiles a little. “Hey. My father’s name is Josip. Which is Croatian for Joseph. Would you be okay with using that instead? We can still call him Joe.”
 
Abby’s face breaks into a wide grin. “A fully Croatian name that will mess with all of his teachers? Yeah. I kind of like that.”
 
Luka laughs and leans in to kiss her again. “Good. Now Neela wants to come in and say hi and then you need some sleep.”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah. So do you. Go home, Kovač.”
 
He snorts and kisses her hand. “In a cow’s eye.”
 
Abby’s lips quirk. “Pig’s eye.”
 
“Whatever. They’re bringing in a cot. I’m staying in your room with you when they move you.”
 
“Okay.”
 
Luka smiles and rises to let Neela in. He had found his faith after all. They were all going to be just fine.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

New Years Eve 2000

“Hey.” Abby sets the bag of takeout on her table and moves over to the couch to stroke Luka’s hair.
 
He leans into her touch. “Hi. I let myself in, obviously. I hope that’s okay.”
 
She smiles at him. “Luka, if it wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t have given you a key.” She kisses the top of his head. “What’s wrong?”
 
He sighs and smiles at her. “Nothing, really. I’m ready to ring in the New Year with you.”
 
Abby sits beside him and smiles. “You sure you’re okay with not going anywhere?”
 
Luka chuckles. “Abby, I’ve only been back in Chicago for a couple of days. Staying home and watching TV with you sounds like paradise.” 
 
Abby’s heart squeezes a little at his use of ‘home’, but she lets it slide by. Her feelings for Luka were too strong, and she was trying desperately to keep her heart guarded. She leans her head on his shoulder. “Okay. I got Chinese. I wasn’t sure when you would be over.” 
 
He nods. “I wanted to make sure that Mr. Harris came out of surgery okay. Romano said it was dicey for awhile.”
 
“It was a rough day.” She leans in for a kiss. “I’m really glad you’re back.”
 
Luka smiles at her. “Me too. Abby, I…” he trails off and shakes his head.
 
“What?”
 
He gets to his feet, drawing her to hers and pulling her into his arms. “I really missed you.” He kisses the top of her head, knowing he was a coward. He loved her, and he just couldn’t say it. He wasn’t sure what held him back, other than fear of her reaction. But he knew that taking that leap and telling her would change everything between them. 
 
Abby leans her head on his shoulder. “I missed you too.” She tilts her head up to smile at him. “Let’s get some food and turn on Dick Clark.”
 
“It’s barely nine o’clock.” Luka gives her a puzzled look.
 
“Oh, you poor, silly man. Don’t you know that Americans start everything early?”
 
He laughs and pinches her butt. “I was hoping for other activities before midnight.” Luka gives her the cheeky grin that she’s so crazy about.
 
Abby’s cheeks heat. “That could be arranged.” She grins when he wiggles his brows. “But not on an empty stomach.”

New Years Eve 2002

Luka stumbles into his empty apartment, glancing around at the darkness. Shit. He

really

needed to buy some more lamps. Abby used to call his place the batcave, and he supposed she had a point. Turning on the kitchen light, he gets another beer. The bar he’d been hanging out in had been packed, and he probably could have picked up any number of women to come back here with him, but he just wasn’t in the mood for that tonight.
 
Sighing, he flops down on the couch and turns the television on. He smiles a little to himself when “New Year's Rockin’ Eve” starts blaring into his living room. Leaning his head back, he lets himself wonder what Abby was up to. Probably doing something with Carter. Luka scowls a little. He was alone, and he could feel how he felt, damnit. Watching Abby and Carter together was killing him, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on this way. The wine, women and song were doing nothing but depressing him even more. 
 
Everything had come to a head on Christmas Eve. He’d as good as killed Rick Kendrick, and that would haunt him for the rest of his life. But almost as bad, he had disappointed Abby. She couldn’t keep cleaning up his messes, and he didn’t blame her for being to the point of washing her hands of him. He had been horrible to her, and then made a drunken pass at her in Susan’s bedroom. He didn’t want to do anything to mess with her relationship with Carter, but he knew her, and he knows she’s not as happy as she claims she is. 
 
Cursing, he shuts the TV off again. The last time he had watched this nonsense, Abby had been snuggled beside him on her couch. They had eaten chinese food and made foolish conversation before they had kissed at the stroke of midnight. God, he missed her. Turning the lights back off, he wanders up to bed, collapsing and vowing to do something about the mess he was making of his life.

New Years Eve 2004

“We’re such party animals.”
 
Abby grins over at Neela from her end of the couch. “That’s what you get for living with an old lady like me.”
 
Neela snorts. “You’re not old. Just kinda boring.” She laughs when Abby throws a pillow at her. “I really wish I had a date. No offense.”
 
“None taken. I can’t say the same, but none taken.”
 
Neela cocks her head. “Really?”
 
“I’m done with dating. Seriously. I just don’t want to deal with it.” Abby sighs a little, thinking that she had missed her chance with the one person she might

want

to date again. Glancing at the clock, she figures Luka is probably blissfully ensconced with Sam and Alex.
 
“Who was the last guy you spent New Years with?”
 
Abby shrugs. “As an actual date? Carter.” She frowns. “But it sucked.”
 
Neela raises a brow. “Why?”
 
“We were fighting. I was…” She didn’t tell people about her alcoholism, though Neela probably wondered why Abby never drank, she had never asked. “I wasn’t who he wanted me to be.” she murmurs.
 
“People talk about you and Carter like you were some epic romance.”
 
Abby winces. “It definitely was

not

an epic romance. I didn’t love him, and he only loved the idea of us.” she shrugs. “I was a lot happier with Luka than I ever was with Carter.”
 
Neela studies her. She had figured out a long time ago that Abby had unresolved feelings for doctor Kovač. “Why did you two break up?”
 
Abby is quiet for a long moment. “We couldn’t be what each other needed. We ended it one night and said some really shitty things to each other. Strangely, we got to be really good friends after that. We said terrible things, but we also both got a lot off our chests.” She shrugs. “We hung out together at Susan’s party last year, so I guess technically he’s the last guy I spent New Year’s with.” She smiles a little. “I miss just hanging out with him.”
 
“Why don’t you?”
 
“Sam.” That was the long and short of it. Abby knew Luka was trying to make it work with Sam, and he was crazy about Alex. She wasn’t going to do anything to mess that up for him. “In case you hadn’t noticed, she has a bit of a jealous streak.” She grins at Neela.
 
Neela snorts and rolls her eyes. “You don’t say? I thought she was going to rip my hair out.”
 
Abby laughs. “You could take her.”
 
Neela shrugs. “What’s the point?”
 
“For what it’s worth, I thought she completely overreacted. If she doesn’t know by now that every woman who meets Luka and spends more than five minutes with him gets a crush, she’s in for a rough life.” She smirks. “I’m trying to feel sorry for Luka over that, but I just can’t work up the energy.”
 
Neela grins at her. “Yeah. Abby? I’m glad you’re my date tonight.”
 
Abby lifts her flute of sparkling cider. “Back atcha.”

New Years Eve 2006

Luka trots down the stairs after putting Joe to bed. He finds Abby in the kitchen, scooping meatballs onto plates for them. Smiling, he slips up behind her and wraps his arms around her. “This is a northern midwestern tradition, huh? How come nobody ever told me that?”
 
Abby laughs and turns in his arms to kiss him. “We’ve been easing you in, Kovač.”
 
He gives her a squeeze and reaches behind them to get the silly party hats they’d picked up. He grins at her eyeroll. “You promised.”
 
“I had a moment of insanity.” But she takes the hat and straps it on.
 
Picking up their plates, he moves into the living room and settles on the couch. “We’re watching the Times Square thing right?”
 
“Of course we are, you philistine. Not watching it should be grounds for shunning.”
 
He laughs. “Good to know.” Leaning back, he smiles over at her. “I haven’t really watched it since the last time we watched it together.”
 
Abby glances over at him. “We didn’t watch last year because we had other things on our minds…” she trails off, realizing he means the first time they had been together. “Really?”
 
“I tried watching it a few times after we broke up, and it bummed me out. I’ll always associate it with you.”
 
Abby cocks her head. “Sam didn’t want to watch it?’
 
Luka turns red. “She and Alex did. I went to bed.” He shrugs. “It felt wrong to watch it with them.”
 
Abby knows she shouldn’t feel smug and satisfied about that, but she was only human. She leans over to kiss him softly. “Thanks.”
 
He sets his plate aside and takes hers to set it next to his. Drawing her into his lap, he leans his forehead on hers. “I should have realized that thoughts of you keeping me from doing things with her wasn’t very healthy.”
 
Abby strokes his hair. “Maybe.” She draws back to grin at him. “I’m glad you told me that. I spent that New Years with Neela, and we talked about being dateless. I figured you were snuggled up with her, blissfully enjoying the holiday. It’s petty of me, but knowing you weren’t makes me kinda happy.”
 
Luka laughs and takes her mouth again. “Happy to give you some satisfaction.”
 
She lifts a brow at him. “I fully expect a different kind of satisfaction later.”
 
He smirks and trails a finger over her collarbone. “Later could be right now…”
 
She swats his hand away and slides off from his lap, picking up her plate. “No. We’re going to eat these meatballs, drink our sparkling cider, watch Ryan Seacrest pretend to be as good as Dick Clark, have a dance together, and make out at midnight. After that, you’ll get laid.”
 
“That’s a very strict schedule of events.” He grins at her. “But okay.”
 
Abby squeezes his thigh. “Happy New Year, Luka.”
 
“Happy New Year, Abby.”

New Years Eve 2011

“Joe, stop that.” Abby gives an exasperated sigh when her son climbs up on a chair to look in the Crockpot, again.
 
“I’m hungry, mama.” Joe scowls at her.
 
“I know. Tata will be back soon, and then we can eat. Have some vegetables.” she points at the platter on the table. Abby nearly laughs at the long-suffering expression on his face. The child was definitely hers. She smiles when Joe scrambles down from the chair. “We’re in here!”
 
Luka smiles at them when he comes in, pulling off his coat. “Sorry it took me so long. It’s snowing like a bitch.”
 
“Time to eat, Tata.” Joe pulls on his father’s hand.
 
Luka bends to scoop him up. “Hungry are you?” He leans over to kiss his wife. “Thanks for holding dinner. I tried to get out earlier, but we were slammed.”
 
“It’s okay. We’re still on schedule.” She grins at him.
 
He sits Joe in a chair and slides his arms around her. “Right. The New Years Eve schedule. We wouldn’t want to screw that up.” 
 
She smirks and gives him a squeeze. “It’s worked for us for a very long time. Why mess with a good thing?” 
 
“Exactly.” He turns to scoop food onto a plate for Joe. “And now that someone is old enough to stay up, there’s definitely no chance of revising it.”
 
Abby snickers. “There never was. And he’s been staying awake since he was two.”
 
Luka laughs and sits. “He’d stay up that late every night if we let him. He’s absolutely our kid.”
 
“I was thinking the same thing earlier about the veggies.”
 
Luka raises a brow at her. “

I

like veggies.” To prove it, he snags a carrot from the tray. 
 
“I know.” She grins impishly. “Maybe he’s not yours after all.” 
 
Luka laughs at that. “Yeah, right. I think the other similarities balance out the vegetable hatred.”
 
Abby shrugs. “If you mean his stubborn streak, and way with the ladies, you’re absolutely right.”
 
Luka picks up her hand and bites her finger, making her laugh. “Those, and the fact that he looks just a little like me.”
 
She grins. At five, Joe’s hair was darkening, and his features were becoming more pronounced. There was also the smile which was identical to his father’s. “I guess he belongs to you after all. The veggie eating is an enigma.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “You both belong to me.”
 
Abby smiles at him while everything inside her warms. “Back atcha.”
 
At ten minutes to midnight, Luka pulls Abby from her seat on the couch, where she had been building a tower of Legos with Joe, while the noise from Times Square blares into the living room. He grins at Joe when he scowls. “You can have mama back in a few minutes. She has to dance with Tata right now.” 
 
Abby laughs when Joe shrugs, well used to his parents dancing or sneaking kisses with each other. She links her arms around Luka’s neck and starts to sway with him. “A few more months and we’ll have five years under our belts.”
 
Luka dips his head to kiss her. “A lot longer than that, but in the legal sense, yeah.”
 
She giggles and pulls him closer. “Maybe next year, we should actually

go

to Times Square.”
 
He pulls back and lifts a brow, amused at her. “You can’t be serious.”
 
“No, not at all.” She chuckles. “I like our New Years tradition just fine.”
 
Luka smiles. “Me too.” He leans in to nibble at her ear. “Even if it means I don’t get to have you until after midnight.”
 
Abby’s spine tingles and she rises on her toes to take his mouth in a slow, deep kiss as the countdown hits midnight. “You don’t have much longer to wait.” She tilts her head back to smile into his eyes. “You’re the best New Years date I’ve ever had.”
 
Luka squeezes her hands. “Same goes.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Maybe we should go home.” Luka squeezes Abby’s hand. “It’s freezing out here.”
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder. “Can we just sit here for a little bit longer? It’s been a day.”
 
“Sure.” Luka wraps his arm around her and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “What made you change your mind?”
 
“I…” Abby shifts a little and sighs. “I hadn’t really made up my mind. When I made the appointment ...I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do.”
 
“It’s okay. You don’t need to explain.”
 
“No, Luka. When I was sitting in Coburn’s waiting room, I kept thinking about all of the things that were keeping me from doing this. My genetics, my career, the fact that we aren’t married or even really committed to each other…”
 
“Abby…”
 
“But there was one huge thing that made me decide to keep it. It’s yours. Luka..” Abby turns so she’s facing him. “You’re made to be a father. I knew that if I was meant to have a baby with

anybody

it would be with you.”
 
“I didn’t want you to have this baby just for me, Abby. I hope you..”
 
“No.” She cuts him off. “That isn’t what I meant. I meant that I want this. I want to have this baby with you. We deserve it, you and I. You said the other day that we’ve been through a lot together, and boy, if that’s not an understatement.” Abby grins when he chuckles. “You’ve always been there for me, and I knew without any doubts that you would always be there for our child.” 
 
“Of course I will be.” Luka smiles at her. “Abby, I tried really hard not to push you. But I know I did anyways.”
 
“You did, but that’s okay. This is your baby too. You have every right to have a say.” Abby grips his hand when he shakes his head. “We can talk and agree all day long about choice and it being my body, but it’s more complicated than that. We all know it. In the end it was my decision, but I’m glad you told me what you wanted too.”
 
“You’re right. I do want to be a father again.”
 
“You don’t say?” Abby grins at him.
 
“Smartass.” Luka taps a finger on her cheek. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I’m really glad I’m doing it with you.”
 
Abby leans in for a kiss. “Me too.”
 
“Now, I really think I need to take you home. Your nose is red.” He leans in to kiss the nose in question. 
 
She smiles and rises, pulling him up with her. “Sure. I’ve started losing feeling in my feet.”
 
Luka snorts. “I’d carry you, but it’s a long way.”
 
Abby grips his hand. “Thanks, I think. I’m not even fat yet.”
 
He chuckles and wraps his arm around her shoulders, snuggling her close to him. “You’ll be the cutest pregnant woman around.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Sure. I’m going to get huge and have swollen ankles and mood swings.” She shifts her gaze up to him, eyes twinkling.
 
“The mood swings are nothing new..” he mutters. Grinning at her when she scowls at him, Luka pats her butt. “But the rest will be an interesting change. I’m looking forward to it.”

********************************************************

Abby shifts in Luka’s arms and sighs. “This is nice.”
 
He pulls the throw farther over them and tightens his grip. “It is.” They had gone back to Abby’s place and collapsed on the couch, turning the television on to just zone out for a little while. Luka strokes her belly. “How are you feeling? Physically, I mean.”
 
“Okay. I’m nauseated at random times, but it hasn’t been too bad.” Abby snickers. “And I’m a little hormonal. Why do you have to be so hot?”
 
Luka chokes out a laugh. “Are you saying you’re horny?”
 
“Yeah. It’s a good thing you’re you, and I don’t have to worry about you having a headache or anything.”
 
He snorts. “Definitely not.” Luka buries his face in her hair and strokes her arm. 
 
“I’m sure you’ll live up to my expectations in that area just fine.” She tips her head to his shoulder while his chest rumbles with laughter. “Right now, I’m starving though.”
 
Luka grins and kisses the top of her head. “So it begins. What do you want?”
 
Abby giggles. “That’s a loaded question.”
 
He pinches her. “To eat.” Luka nibbles at her ear. “We can save the other for dessert.”
 
Closing her eyes, Abby lifts her arm up to hook it around his neck. “Hmmmm….” She wiggles a little, feeling him stir against her, since she was nestled between his legs. “Pizza sounds amazing.”
 
Luka huffs and rolls his eyes. “That’s mean.”
 
Abby pushes up and turns to pat his cheek. “You started it. I have to pee. Don’t you dare get onions anywhere near my side of the pie.” 
 
Luka grins and watches her head to the bathroom, picking up the phone to dial Lou Malnati’s for delivery. Shrugging, he orders their usual toppings, minus the onions for himself. The least he can do is forego them for awhile. “Pizza’s on the way.” He smiles at her when she comes out. “No onions.”
 
Abby drops down next to him, hooking her arm around his shoulders. “It’s the least you can do, since your spawn is growing inside me like an alien.”
 
Luka raises a brow, amused. “An alien?”
 
“Yeah. You know like in the old science fiction movies with the pod people?” she shudders a little. “Creepy.”
 
Luka laughs. “Okay. You’re weirding

me

out.”
 
Abby shrugs. “Hey, if I’m thinking about it, you should be too. It’s only fair.”
 
He stares at her. “This pregnancy is going to be interesting. As a former OB nurse, I would think you’d know that’s not how it works.”
 
Abby laughs. “I’ve always thought they look like aliens. Or fish.”
 
“Fish?” Completely baffled now, Luka shakes his head. “What?”
 
“Look at a twelve week ultrasound. I’m telling you. You can’t unsee it.”
 
Luka snorts. “Thanks. Now I’m going to be looking for it.”
 
She grins at him. “You’re welcome.” Abby leans back against the cushions and toys with his fingers. “Are you going to run out at two in the morning when I start having cravings for pickles and ice cream?”
 
Luka shifts toward her, leaning his head next to hers. “We’ll stock up.”
 
She raises a brow. “What if I want a flavor that we don’t have?”
 
“Then, yeah. Of course I will.” He leans over to kiss her cheek. “Whatever you want. But I’m going to make sure you eat right too. No more cereal or ramen noodles for dinner.”
 
Abby scowls at him. “But what if that’s what I want?” Her lips tilt up in a pleading smile. “What if that’s what the

baby

wants?” 
 
Luka rolls his eyes and smirks. “We’ll cross that bridge later. But for now, you’ll have pizza, and that’s good, right?”
 
Defeated, knowing he was going to watch her like a hawk, Abby sighs. “Yeah. Thanks.”
 
Chuckling, Luka leans in to kiss her pouting lips. “It will be good, you’ll see.” He rises when the buzzer sounds. “I’ve got it.”
 
“Good. You’re at my beck and call for the duration, you know.”
 
Grinning, Luka pulls out his wallet to pay the delivery boy. He carries it back and sets it on her coffee table. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He strokes her thigh. “I guess we have a lot of other things to talk about.”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah, but let’s not do it tonight.” She leans forward to pull out a slice of her side of the pizza. “I want to just enjoy this for now. We’re having a baby, and it’s a good thing.”
 
He smiles at her. “Really?”
 
She nods. “Yes.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “I’m looking forward to it all.”
 
“Me too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka settles Joe in a booster next to him in the booth. Handing his boy a crayon, he smiles when Joe attacks the coloring page with gusto. Picking up the menu, Luka continues watching him out of the corner of his eye while he waits for his lunch companion. Sighing a little, he settles back and closes his eyes. Almost three weeks have gone by since he’d left. He loves the time spent with his son, but he needs Joe’s mother too. Trying to be

this

type of father hadn’t been the plan. Not that there was anything wrong with single parenting or co-parenting. But Luka still loved his wife very much, and the thought of them not being together as a family any longer was killing him. 
 
Luka looks up and smiles when the waitress at the small diner comes over. “I’ll have a Coke, and milk for this guy please.”
 
The woman smiles flirtatiously at him. “Are you two handsome fellas ready to order?’
 
“Ah, no. We’re waiting for someone.” He considers the waitress as she walks away. Luka thought she was pretty enough, but she wasn’t Abby. The thought of dating anyone else, or even spending time with another woman in a way not grounded in work or friendship turns his stomach, so he shuts that down for another time. His usual tactic of making a huge life change during times of upheaval didn’t seem to be working this time. Quitting County, working at the Hospice, moving out of his home...none of it shook the absolute certainty that he and Abby had to work it out. He was finally realizing that to do otherwise would be impossible, and it would probably kill him. Spiraling off the deep end wasn’t an option this time either. They had Joe, and that meant they were a family no matter what. It didn’t matter how pissed off and angry and hurt he was. How stupid he was being, he admitted to himself. 
 
Usually, he could move on by changing things. Luka had come to America when his family had been killed in Croatia. Wandering aimlessly, trying to find a purpose until he had landed in Chicago. He’d found friends and connections in the Windy City. He’d found a job he truly loved. He’d found the love of his life. Sighing, Luka strokes his hand over Joe’s head, smiling when his boy grins over at him and continues coloring. 
 
“I make mama a picture, Tata.”
 
Throat tight, Luka smiles at him. “That’s nice, she’ll love it.” After losing Abby the first time, he’d gone to Africa. Another change, one that had almost cost him his life. But he’d found a purpose over there, and somehow, the universe had given him another chance. He had love and family again. Making the changes this time...the new job, moving out...they didn’t matter. Luka wanted his wife. He wanted his family back. He just wasn’t sure how to get past the turmoil inside himself. He only knew that what he was doing wasn’t working.
 
“It’s the Kovač dudes.” Pratt grins as he slides into the booth. He holds out a hand for his usual fist-bump with Joe, and slaps Luka’s hand. “I’m starved.”
 
“The waitress should be…” He smiles when she brings their drinks. “Right here.”
 
Greg smiles at the woman. “Just water, please.” He picks up the menu when she nods and walks away, eyeing Luka over it. “So how’s it going?”
 
Luka shrugs. “Okay. The job’s good. I’m staying busy.”
 
“Kovač.” Greg rolls his eyes.
 
Luka gives a small grin and jerks a shoulder. “It sucks.”
 
“That’s what I figured.” He puts the discussion on hold when the waitress comes back over and they place their orders. Greg leans back. “She misses you like crazy, you know.”
 
“I miss her too.” Luka murmurs. “Did you tell her you were meeting us?”
 
Greg lifts a brow. “No, I figured you would have.”
 
Luka looks down. “I’ve been keeping our conversations brief. It’s...it’s hard.”
 
Greg scowls at him. “That’s a dick move, Luka. For real.”
 
Luka’s eyes snap up to his. “What does she expect?”
 
“She expects you to be her husband. The father of her child. The man she loves. You know, all that ‘til death do us part’ stuff you all did about a year ago. Or did you forget?”
 
Luka feels that comment like a stab to the heart. Breaking his promises to Abby and leaving her for almost six months were part of the reason they were in this situation. But…”I can’t be all of those things right now. I can’t see anything clearly.”
 
Pratt rolls his eyes. “Who can? Jesus Christ, Kovač. Life can be a bitch sometimes, and you can’t always know what’s going to happen. All you can do is just live.” He scowls. “You are

not

the guy who leaves his wife when things get hard. We’ve been friends for too long and I know you too well. This shit’s rough, but I don’t believe for a minute that you actually want to be that man.”
 
“Of course I don’t.” Defeated, Luka leans back. He glances over to be sure Joe was fully occupied. “Were you there that night?”
 
“What night?”
 
“At Ike’s. During the blackout.”
 
“Of course I was there. We were celebrating me and Morris passing our boards.” Greg gives him a dawning look. “Abby and I got into it. I tried to get her to go home.”
 
Luka nods. Abby had told him that much. “How bad was she?”
 
“Kovač, if you think I’m going to give you ammo to use against her…”
 
“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I would never do that. I just... I need to know.” He swallows hard.
 
Pratt sighs. “She was bad. I’ve never even seen Abby take a drink before, so I was really surprised. She was loaded.”
 
“I’ve seen her drink before...I didn’t know she was an alcoholic at the time. It was after we broke up the first time, and she never got drunk. I never put it together why she didn’t drink when we were together, and I didn’t ask. I wish I would have, but I didn’t. Carter had to clue me in.” Luka clears his throat. “This time was different. I’ve

never

seen her like this.” 
 
Greg shakes his head as their food is served. “I noticed she was acting off. I just figured it was the stress of you being gone. If I had known…”
 
Luka smiles a little. “I don’t think it would have mattered. But thanks for the thought.”
 
“Anyways, that night at Ike’s. Why are you wondering about that?”
 
Luka is quiet as he cuts Joe’s chicken tenders into smaller chunks. “What do you think of Moretti?”
 
“He’s an asshole, but he knows his job. Why?”
 
Luka looks up from the plate to meet Greg’s eyes. “Was he talking to Abby that night?”
 
Greg thinks about it. “I don’t know. I guess maybe?” His eyes widen. “No way. Abby hates him, Luka. She’s been the most resistant to him. He made some comment to her in our first staff meeting and put her back up right away.”
 
Luka narrows his eyes. “What comment?”
 
“Something about her getting used to working for a boss she’s not sleeping with. Or words to that effect.”
 
Luka’s anger rises. “That’s bullshit.”
 
“Yeah, and we all thought so. You never gave her any preferential treatment. Hell, you were harder on her than others half the time.”
 
“If he implied that she slept her way…” Luka chokes out the words. “She worked her

ass

off to become a doctor. And we were together before I moved up to chief. I won’t have people thinking about her that way.”
 
Pratt studies Luka’s red face. The man might be angry with Abby, but he was infuriated on her behalf. He feels something loosen inside him.  “Kovac, everybody knows that. The entire hospital knows the story between you two. Nobody thinks Abby’s with you for career advancement.”
 
“Moretti apparently did.” Luka mutters.
 
Greg rolls his eyes. “Dude. He was trying to get under her skin. If he actually believed that, he’s an even bigger asshole than I thought.”
 
Luka’s mouth thins. “He’s an asshole, definitely.” Leaving it at that, he bites into his burger. Pratt obviously knew nothing about what had happened between Abby and Moretti, and Luka wasn’t going to tell him. But he had a clearer picture of the situation, regardless. And another piece of the puzzle. 
 
Pratt covers a fry in ketchup. “Luka, what are you doing, man?”
 
“What do you mean?” Luka busies himself cleaning off Joe’s hands. 
 
“I know you still love her.” Greg says quietly.
 
“Of course I do. That’s not the issue.” Luka sighs. 
 
“What exactly

is

the issue? You always knew there was a possibility she would drink again, didn’t you?”
 
“I never really thought about it. It just wasn’t really part of us.”
 
Greg sighs, unsurprised. He’s seen Luka’s attitude toward addicts in the ER. Having it blow up in his own life had to be a shocker. He also knows just how dense Luka can be, especially when it came to Abby. He decides to just lay it out for him. “Well, now you need to think about it. You need to accept that part of her, and more than that, you need to really see how hard she’s working to get better. Neither of you are perfect, Luka.”
 
“I know, I just...I need some time.” Luka smiles a little. “How is she doing at work?”
 
“She’s okay. You know how good she is.” Pratt shakes his head. “But she’s sad, and not...Abby. She does the job, but she’s not herself.”
 
Luka nods, his heart breaking a little more. “I want to forgive her, Greg. It’s just...a lot. You don’t know everything that happened. I feel like we’re different people now.”
 
“Bullshit.” The force of his tone stuns Luka, and he opens his mouth to speak. Pratt shakes his head. “Shut up. I know you love each other. I know you’re a family. I know your wife wants

nothing

more than for you to come home. I know you both made mistakes. But if you want it bad enough, you can keep your family together.” Pratt points at him. “You two are the best couple I know. You’re so in tune with each other it’s like you share a brain half the time. Don’t fuck that up, Kovač.” He scowls at Luka.
 
Luka sighs as something shifts inside him. “It’s already fucked up. But I think...I think maybe we can get it back. It’s just going to take a lot of work.”
 
Pratt shrugs. “Then start working and stop ignoring it. I’m not putting up with your bullshit much longer. I’m to the point of just knocking your heads together.”
 
Luka snorts. “Thanks. Really. What time do you have to be back?”
 
Greg checks his watch. “Pretty much now.” He smiles at his friend. “I’m glad to see you’re getting there.”
 
Luka’s mouth quirks up. “Yeah. Go ahead and get back. I’ve got your lunch.”
 
“Thanks.” Greg rises and drags on his jacket. “Luka?”
 
“What?”
 
“Call your wife.”
 
Luka nods. “I will.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka drops a kiss on Abby’s head as he joins her on his couch. “Here.” He hands her a wrapped box.
 
Abby takes it and shifts a little, half asleep after a brutal shift for both of them. “What’s this?”
 
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Luka grins at her when she rolls her eyes. “I know you hate it, but just shut up and open this.”
 
Knowing that giving her gifts made

him

happy, Abby sighs and pulls the ribbon off from the box. “You know you’re only getting sex for Valentine’s Day. I’m too tired to cook.”
 
Luka snorts. “I can live with that. I’ll order some food in a few minutes.”
 
Abby cocks her head and smiles at the necklace nestled inside the box. It’s a simple, long, silver chain with a ball. She pulls it out and it jingles softly. “It’s pretty.”
 
“I had a patient last week, a pregnant woman. She was wearing one of these. Chuny explained what it is.” Luka takes the necklace from her, and brushing her hair aside, hooks it around her neck. It hung between her breasts, so long that it nearly brushed her belly. “It’s called a Harmony Ball. The bell is supposed to be soothing for the baby.”
 
Abby’s emotions threaten to overwhelm her as she cups his cheek with her hand. “That’s beautiful.” She leans in to kiss him. Abby smiles. “So technically, this gift is for the baby, not for me.”
 
Luka snorts. “If that helps, then yes.”
 
She hooks her hands around his neck. “You’re adorable. Thank you.” 
 
Leaning forward, Luka kisses her forehead. “You’re welcome. Those flowers on the island are also for you.”
 
Abby glances over, noting that the flowers were a simple clutch of wildflowers. Luka knew well her disdain for roses. “Those are beautiful too.” She squeezes his hands. “Since you’re handling dinner, I suppose the sex had better be stellar, huh?”
 
Luka’s eyes twinkle as he grins and licks his lips. “It always is.” His smile spreads when she snorts at that. “But lingerie wouldn’t hurt.”
 
Laughing, Abby rises to walk to the kitchen. Pulling open the fridge, she gets a seltzer water for herself, and a beer for Luka. “You know I haven’t even been home for three days. I’m not sure what I have stashed in your drawers here.”
 
Luka moves over to the phone to call for takeout. He winks at her. “I’m sure you’ll find something.”
 
Abby pauses while pouring her drink into a glass. “What did you do?”
 
Luka shrugs while he orders subs for them from the deli. “Why don’t you go look in the drawer? I need to run over and pick these up.”
 
Abby smirks and shakes her head while Luka shrugs into his coat and grabs his keys. Wiggling his eyebrows at her, he gives her a wave and walks out the door. Drinks poured, Abby sets them on the table. She glances up the stairs, and rolling her eyes, climbs them. Luka was making an effort to charm her...not that it took much….so she might as well play along. Pulling open the drawer that held some clothes for when she slept here, which was more often than not these days, she finds what he’d left for her. Giggling, she pulls it out and changes.
 
Abby is lighting candles on the table when Luka comes in carrying a bag. He stops dead when he sees her, wearing the short black chemise covered with a sheer robe. Clearing his throat, he moves closer. “Ah...you found it.”
 
Abby smiles and slides her arms around him. “Yeah. You know this won’t fit much longer, so we might as well get some use out of it.”
 
Chuckling, Luka lowers his lips to hers. “You’re beautiful, Abby.” he murmurs.
 
Sighing, Abby slides her hands through his hair. “Luka…” she smiles when he nibbles at her lips. “We need to eat. I’m knocked up, remember?”
 
“I’ve never understood what that means. But okay.”
 
“It’s…” shaking her head Abby laughs. “I don’t really know what it means either. It’s just a phrase.”
 
Shrugging out of his coat and tossing it aside, Luka sits with her. “American phrases are weird.”
 
Abby nods and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Some of them are. Everything in Croatian sounds like you’re either swearing or reciting poetry.”
 
Luka’s eyes twinkle at her. “I know.” He reaches over to grip her hand. “Thanks for playing along.”
 
Abby smiles. “Well, this will be our only Valentine’s Day together without a kid to distract us, so we might as well make it count.”
 
“I thought about getting you some of those little candy hearts. You know, ‘Be Mine’.” 
 
Finishing her sandwich, Abby rises to slide into his lap. Hooking her arm around his neck, she nibbles at his ear. “Those things are disgusting. But I appreciate the sentiment.”
 
Luka’s breath hitches and he closes his eyes as Abby continues her assault on his ear and neck. “You’re welcome.”
 
Grinning, Abby twists around and blows the candles out. “I really think you need to…” she trails off when he abruptly rises, scooping her up in his arms to stride toward the stairs and up. Smiling, she strokes his neck. “You won’t be able to carry me much longer.”
 
Shaking his head, Luka gives a strangled laugh. “Abby, you have a long way to go before I can’t carry you.” He drops her gently on the bed.
 
Grinning up at him, Abby slides her leg up and cocks her head. “Yes, you’re very strong and manly.”
 
Touching his tongue to his bottom lip, Luka pulls his shirt over his head and slides down next to her. Taking her lips with his, he groans when she immediately deepens the kiss. Luka slides his hand down to stroke her knee, “Abby, God…”
 
Abby shifts and wraps herself around him, sliding her hands down to work the button of his jeans free. Her lips roam his face while she slides them over his hips.
 
Luka takes her hands to stop her. “Slow down.” Sliding down her body, he takes her nipple gently in his teeth through the silk of the chemise, making her gasp. “We have all night.” Luka’s hand slides down to stroke her thigh.
 
“Luka…” Abby’s head falls back while he teases her center with his thumb. She chokes back a cry when his hand slides under her panties, finding her hot and wet. 
 
Lifting his head, Luka’s eyes are intense as he watches her. “Go over, Abby.” he demands, and works her ruthlessly with his hand. Lowering his lips to his belly, he smiles in satisfaction when she cries out, the orgasm making her clench around his busy fingers. Not relenting, he licks the sensitive skin between her thigh and her center, and ripping her panties away, attacks her with his mouth.
 
Abby’s eyes fly open at the barrage of sensation. “

Jesus

, Luka.” She revels in the sensation of his lips and tongue on her, in her. The intimacy and passion of it makes her entire nervous system scream. Her legs shake as she comes again. Abby grips his arms to pull him up. Taking his lips in a fierce, possessive kiss, she rolls to straddle him. Luka slides the chemise over her head and grips her hips when she takes him deep. Rising up, Abby starts to move, riding him as if her life depended on it.
 
Luka moans, thrusting up into her. Hands sliding up to stroke her breasts while she moves. She looks so beautiful, his emotions threaten to overwhelm him. The movements quicken as she leans forward to take his mouth again. Luka’s heart squeezes as everything goes white and he empties himself. 
 
Abby cries out as she follows him over the edge. Sliding down in his arms, she leans her forehead against his. “How’s that for stellar?”
 
Breathing hard, Luka chokes out a laugh. “I think that goes beyond stellar. I don’t have a word for it.”
 
Laughing, Abby slides off from him to curl into his side. She strokes his chest. “Me either.”
 
Stroking her hair, Luka presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Abby, I…” hesitating, knowing she deserved better than a declaration of love post sex, he backtracks. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
 
Smiling a little, Abby sighs, thinking of how

happy

she is. “Luka?”
 
“Hmm?” 
 
“I don’t need the candy. I’m already yours.”
 
Luka’s heart swells and he smiles, knowing that for Abby, this was an absolute declaration of devotion. He kisses her again, slow and sweet. “I’m yours too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Hey.” Abby works up a smile for Neela when she slides into the booth at La Cantina.
 
“Hi. I’m glad you wanted to come here. It’s been awhile, and they have the best salsa in town.”
 
Abby smirks. “Best Margaritas, too.”
 
Neela raises a brow at her. “Well, yeah.”
 
“Too soon?” Abby smiles a little. “You can order one. It won’t bother me.”
 
Neela shakes her head. “I’ll just have a Diet Coke.” she tells the waitress when she comes over with the basket of chips and salsa.
 
“I’ll have the same, thanks.” Abby nods at the waitress.
 
Neela watches her walk away. “Is Joe with Luka?”
 
“Yeah.” Abby shifts uncomfortably and blows out a breath. “I don’t know how to do this.”
 
“I know it’s hard.”
 
Abby nods and takes a sip of her drink when the waitress brings it over. Placing their orders, Abby sits back and closes her eyes. “Yeah. You know? I’ve been through a lot.

A lot.

I don’t say that to excuse anything, or for pity. But my life has been a series of crazy shit with a couple of bright spots mixed in.”
 
Neela nods and reaches over for her friend’s hand. 
 
“I’ve never been happier than I was with Luka, and now I’ve fucked it all up.”
 
“Abby. He just needs some time. You said it yourself. I thought you were trying not to freak out?”
 
“I am.” She shakes her head. “I just...this is his pattern, you know? When he goes through a major upheaval, he makes major life changes and he runs.” Abby sighs. “I just thought…”
 
“You thought that you were more important to him. You

are

, Abby. He loves you. Anyone can see that.”
 
“Sometimes love isn’t enough.” Abby says quietly. 
 
Neela huffs out a breath. “Of course it is. I’ve known you both for a long time. The two of you have been through so much, but you always manage to come back to each other.”
 
Abby’s eyes mist over, thinking of her compass and Luka’s words when he’d given it to her. “When he was in Croatia, it was hard. Every time I talked to him, he sounded so happy, even with everything that was happening with his dad. I thought maybe he changed his mind.”
 
Neela’s brow furrows. “What the hell do you mean by that?”
 
Abby shrugs. “I felt like...I don’t know. Like his

real

life and family were over there, and we were just…” she shakes her head.
 
“That’s bollocks, Abby. You’re his wife, Joe’s his son. He never would have married you if he didn’t want to spend his life with you.”
 
Abby laughs a little. “That’s hard to hold onto when he left for six months right after we got married.” she shakes her head. “It was supposed to be a quick trip, you know? Just a week or two to get his dad settled. Then it turned into a month, and another, and another. He never asked us to come, or even tried to at least make a quick visit home. It just got easier and easier to believe that he didn’t want us anymore.”
 
“Abby…”
 
Abby shrugs. “For fuck’s sake, Neela. He made a goddamn day trip to come visit me in rehab to tell me he quit County and how fucking happy he and Joe were in Croatia with his family without me.”
 
Neela raises a brow, surprised. “He did?”
 
“Yeah. He showed up, and basically that’s what he said. Other than telling me he wasn’t sure he wanted me with them. Oh, and he gave me his Dad’s St. Christopher’s medal and told me to get better. Like that made up for what he said.” Abby nearly screams in frustration. “It doesn’t matter. Once I’d stopped crying after he left, I just got pissed. You’re telling me he can show up for two days to make me feel like shit, but he can’t bother to come home and see us for the weekend in the six mother-fucking months he was gone?

Seriously?

” 
 
Neela purses her lips, more than a little pissed off at Luka for that herself. “Wanker.”
 
Abby snorts at that. “Yeah. So that plays into all of this. He could come home for a couple of days to be a total asshole to me, but he was so happy to be without me before all of this that he never even bothered.”
 
“I’ll repeat. Bollocks.” Neela smiles a little. “I’m not defending him, but don’t you think he just thought things were fine with you, so he could keep taking the time?”
 
“Of course that’s what he thought. He’s so oblivious sometimes.” Abby rolls her eyes. “I love that about him, in the general run of things. But when he’s ignoring our life here, his wife and son, in favor of spending time with his family over there, even when it was for a noble cause, it just started pissing me off. What was I supposed to think? And now he’s acting like everything is my fault. Maybe the big things are, but he’s not taking any fucking responsibility for it at all.”
 
“I’m sorry.” Neela reaches across and squeezes Abby’s hand again. 
 
“You know? He told me once that he’d never let anything take away what we have. Now he’s gone. He took it away himself. And I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
 
Neela sits back while their food is served. “I don’t know everything that happened. But I know that I wish you would have come to me about all of this.”
 
Abby snorts. “Neela, you had enough going on. You didn’t need to add my neuroses and problems to the list.”
 
“That’s what friends do.”
 
Abby sighs. “I know. I just couldn’t talk about it. That’s why…”
 
“You started drinking.” Neela murmurs quietly.
 
Abby nods. “It started the night Joe got hurt. I couldn’t reach Luka. Everyone was so supportive and wonderful, but the

one

person I needed just wasn’t there. I left messages for him all damn day, and I never heard back. Then when I finally heard back from him, and I

begged him

to come home, he told me not to make things harder.” she closes her eyes. “‘Don’t make this harder, Abby.’ that’s what he said to me.

Harder

. Are you fucking kidding me? Our son was hurt and it could have been a lot worse, and I was making things

harder

.”
 
“Well that was a stupid thing for him to say.”
 
“Yeah. And I’m not blaming him for my drinking. It was all just a perfect storm and I made the worst choice I possibly could have made.” She eyes Neela over her plate of tacos. “I’m really sorry for what I said to you, and for everything I did.”
 
“I know you are. I also know that it wasn’t you who said and did those things. I’m just relieved I know what was going on. I want to help.”
 
“I know you do, thanks.” Abby smiles. 
 
“Now about Luka. I don’t believe for a minute that this is permanent.”
 
Abby swallows. “Neela, he packed up and left his

own

apartment because he couldn’t stand to be around me. The only thing he’ll really talk to me about is Joe. How are we going to work anything out if he won’t even talk to me?” she shakes her head. “He told me I couldn’t hide forever, and now he’s doing exactly that.”
 
“Like I said, I know you both. He’ll come around. I’ve never known either one of you to give up without a fight.”
 
“I really want to believe that. But he’s so distant and angry. I don’t know how to get through to him. I don’t even know if I should try.”
 
Neela scowls. “Of course you should try. He’s your husband. You guys are a family and you love each other. Whatever happened, you need to fight for that.”
 
Abby shrugs. “I can’t fight for us if he doesn’t want it, too. I can’t keep banging my head against the wall he’s put up between us.”
 
“Abby, I don’t know Luka’s patterns and habits as well as you do. I understand that you’re terrified because of them. But I know true love when I see it, and that’s what the two of you have. I wish you would try some hope for once. Luka’s going to come around. You know him better than anybody. He’s always figured it out before, hasn’t he?”
 
Abby lifts a shoulder. “I guess. I just hate being in this limbo. It’s frustrating. And it scares the hell out of me.”
 
Neela smiles. “I know. But you’re doing everything you can do. You just have to let him figure out that he’s being an idiot.”

****************************************************

Neela is still musing on her conversation with Abby when she lets herself into her apartment. Abby’s old apartment. Her friend had finally given up her name on the lease just before she’d married Luka. Both of them drove her crazy, with their commitment phobia and general idiocy about each other. But she knew one thing, they loved each other and they needed to be together. Riding her self-righteousness, Neela yanks out her phone and dials.
 
“Kovač.”
 
“You wanker, quit faffing about and talk to your fucking wife.”
 
“Neela? What?”
 
“I’m serious, Luka.” Neela narrows her eyes.
 
There’s a pause. “Neela, I have no idea what you just said.”
 
Still pissed off, Neela doesn’t realize that she’s lapsed into slang, and that Luka barely understands American slang, let alone British. “I mean you’re being a git. Knock off.”
 
Luka tries again. “Neela, I really don’t understand what you mean. Could you try English?”
 
“This

is

English, you plonker.”
 
Getting the gist, Luka sighs. “I take it you talked to Abby. This really isn’t any of your business, Neela.”
 
“The hell it isn’t. I love you both, and if I have to kidnap the pair of you and lock you in a room together so you’ll hash this out, I’ll do it.”
 
Luka laughs a little. “Neela, I appreciate you trying to help, but you don’t know…”
 
“I don’t fucking care what I know and what I don’t. What I

do

know is that I stood beside you both almost a year ago and listened to some of the most beautiful wedding vows I’ve ever heard. I’m not going to let either one of you toss that aside because you’re hacked off. Get it together, Kovač, or I’ll get it together for you.”
 
“I…” Luka lets out a breath. “I’m working on it.”
 
“Are you? Because it seems like you’re just using any excuse you can to be a major jerk. It’s bollocks, Luka. Call your wife.” Neela hangs up on him. She huffs out a breath and winces a little. Abby will be

pissed

if Luka tells her about the call. Yanking open her refrigerator, she pulls out a beer and opens it. Taking a long slug, she rolls her eyes. It doesn’t matter. If Abby couldn’t tell Luka what an idiot he was being, Neela was damn sure going to do it for her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Are you ready to go?” Luka hitches Joe on his hip when he comes back down from changing after his shift.
 
“Yeah. You still won’t tell me where we’re going?” Abby eyes him. “And why it was so important for Joe to take a longer nap than usual?”
 
“Quiet. We’re going to be up late.” Luka tugs his wife out the door. He’s nearly bouncing with excitement as he straps Joe in his carseat.
 
“Luka.” Abby can’t help but laugh at how excited he is. “Where are we going? The moon? Disney World?”
 
“No. We said a couple of years yet for Disney. And the moon is too expensive.” He grins over at her as he pulls out of the driveway. 
 
“I am

not

taking a three year old to Disney, Luka. You can stop trying.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I still think it would be fun, but whatever.”
 
“Where are we going

tonight

?”
 
He sighs. “You’re no fun.” Luka’s lips quirk as she rolls her eyes. “Okay. What are some of your favorite things?”
 
Abby smiles slowly. “My two favorite things are in this car already.”
 
Luka grins and picks up her hand for a kiss. “Besides me and Joe.”
 
“Stevie Wonder.”
 
“He’s not on tour, but that’s on the list at some point. Try again.”
 
Abby laughs. “Aw. Okay. Um...Italian food?”
 
“No.”
 
“Okay, I’m over this game.” Abby huffs out a breath.
 
“Too bad. Keep guessing.” 
 
“Chocolate? Sex? But we wouldn’t be bringing Joe along for that.” 
 
Luka snorts. “Definitely not. Especially if we combined them.”
 
Abby giggles. “We should try that sometime.”
 
Luka wiggles his brows.“We should. Okay, what can you do in the city, in August, that you love to do?”
 
Abby’s eyes widen. “Are we going to a game? A baseball game?”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “Red Sox against White Sox. Apparently the Boston team never plays the Cubs.”
 
Abby looks over and grins like a maniac. “Luka…”
 
“Why are they both the socks?”
 
Abby cocks her head, knowing he was perfectly serious. “Do you really want the explanation?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“Well, for the White Sox, they were originally the White Stockings. But that’s kind of a stupid name, so they changed it to the Sox.”
 
Luka narrows his eyes in amusement. “The Sox are a stupid name, too.”
 
Abby laughs. “I happen to agree, but it is what it is.”
 
“So what about Boston?” Luka glances at her as he pulls off the highway into the heart of the city.
 
“They stole the name from the White Sox.” Abby shrugs.
 
“Is that your Chicago bias talking? Or is it true?” Luka grins at her.
 
“No, it’s true.” Abby smiles a little. “Well, the White Sox had the name first, so I like to think it’s true.”
 
“I’m still struggling to understand what socks have to do with baseball.”
 
Abby turns her head to stare at him. “Luka. Seriously.”
 
“What?”
 
Abby sighs. “The socks are a major feature of a baseball player’s uniform.”
 
Luka pulls into the parking structure at Fenway. “Okay. That still doesn’t make any sense at all, but at least it’s a reason.”
 
“Have you ever been to a game before?” Abby walks around the car to take his hand as he hitches Joe on his hip. “I still wish we would have made it to a game at Wrigley together. It’s a religious experience.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Not to a game, no.” He squeezes her hand.
 
Abby cocks her head at him in curiosity. “What?”
 
Luka sighs. “I went to Wrigley once when I was sort of seeing Carol.”
 
“Why?” Abby grins when he cocks a brow at her. “I mean why did you go to Wrigley. Not why were you sort-of-seeing-Carol. I already know the answer to

that

.”
 
His lips quirk. “Do you?”
 
“Yeah. She was a hot nurse and she had kids. That’s pretty much your type.”
 
Luka snorts. “

You

didn’t have kids.”
 
Abby slides her arm around his waist. “I had

your

kid.”
 
Luka stops at the ticket counter and presses a kiss to her head. “You did indeed.” He grins at Joe. “But I meant you didn’t have kids when we met, and after that,

you

were my type.”
 
Abby laughs. “Sweet talker. But really, why did you two go to Wrigley?”
 
“We were looking for a car dealership.” Luka shrugs. “We got lost.”
 
“You got lost looking for a car dealership on the north side of Chicago? You realize Comiskey  was right by County, right?”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “I know. It was stupid. But it was a nice day. The field is nice, and she tried to explain the infield fly rule to me.”
 
“Well, that was a lost cause.” Abby tugs him through the turnstile. “Check this out though. This is a pretty important baseball field too. And you get to see a game this time.”
 
Luka passes Joe to her, and leans in to kiss her. “The company is better too.”
 
She smiles. “Yeah?”
 
“Yeah. Let’s find our seats, then I’ll get us some hotdogs and some of those Jacker-Crack things.”
 
“Crackerjack.”
 
“What?”
 
Abby grins. “Nothing.” 
 
********************************************************

Luka smiles over at his wife who is holding Joe on her lap, pointing at things on the field and explaining things to him. It’s adorable how seriously his son is listening to his mother as she explains the art of the double play. 
 
“That’s Paul Konerko. One of the greatest first basemen in the game today.” Abby tells Joe.
 
“Nerko, mama, yeah.” Joe reaches up to pat her cheek.
 
Luka grins. “Do you think he actually likes sports? Or does he just fake it for our sake?”
 
“Of course he likes them. It’s in the blood.” Abby takes a sip of her Diet Coke. “Paul Konerko is also one of the cutest first basemen in the game today.”
 
Luka lifts a brow. “Really?”
 
“Yeah. But he’s got nothing on my dates tonight.” She grins and then cheers when a ball hooks foul. “I thought that one was going straight.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “I can never tell.”
 
“I usually can, but not with that one.” Abby reaches over for his hand and points with her other. “Hey, see that foul pole out there in right field?”
 
“Ah, sure?” Luka isn’t sure what a foul pole is, but he nods.
 
Abby snorts. “That pole at the end of the baseline. Anyways, it’s called ‘Pesky’s Pole’. It’s named after a very famous baseball player and manager for the Red Sox. He was Croatian.”
 
Luka gives her a puzzled smile. “Really? How do you know that?”
 
She shrugs. “I know baseball. He was born here in America, but his parents were from your motherland. He played back in the forties.”
 
“Huh. That’s pretty cool.” Luka leans in and tickles Joe. “Check it out, buddy. There’s a pole named for a Croat.”
 
Joe bounces on Abby’s lap. “
Svjež!”
 
Luka chuckles. “Da.” 
 
Abby reaches for Luka’s hand again as they walk to the car after a convincing White Sox win. “Thank you.”
 
Luka pulls the foam finger from Joe’s grip so he doesn’t drop it. He’s already asleep on Abby’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. You had fun?”
 
“Of course I did. I haven’t been to a major league game in years. And being able to bring Joe was just...it’s really great, Luka.”
 
Luka takes Joe at the car and straps him in, smiling when their boy sleeps through the entire thing. He leans down to kiss his wife. “I’m glad I could take you out to the ballgame.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka steps out into the ambulance bay feeling better than he had in awhile. He was still amused at Kerry catching him in her office, knowing she was happy he’d made the decision he had made. Despite her grumpy comments. Luka missed Africa, but he knows Kerry is right. They need him at County just as much as they need him over there. And the risk of death here was marginally lower.
 
Sighing happily, he smiles when he sees Abby sitting on one of the doorway steps, smoking. He detours over. “Hey. I thought you quit.” Luka sits beside her and tugs the cigarette from her fingers to take a drag. “I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said that to you.”
 
Abby smirks. “Shut up. It’s been a day.” She props her elbow on her knee and rests her hand on her head to study him. Abby hadn’t missed the tension between Luka and Sam, but had watched him carry Alex out to the ambulance bay. “You look like the cat who ate the canary.”
 
Luka scrunches up his face with the confused expression that she loves. “What?”
 
Abby laughs. “You look happy and satisfied. What’s up?”
 
Luka shrugs. “I decided to stay in Chicago, for the time being at least.”
 
Her heart hitches. Abby would never admit it to him, but the thought of Luka going back to the Congo, where he’d almost

died,

scared the hell out of her. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m glad.”
 
Luka cocks his head to study her. “Really?” He takes her cigarette again, content to sit with her for a little while.
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Luka, you almost died over there. Yeah, I’m glad one of my best friends isn’t going back to a literal warzone. Who would scam my cigarettes and bum my coffee if you left again?”
 
Luka smirks at her, while everything inside him warms. He bumps his knee against hers. “You’d find somebody else.”
 
“Doubtful.” Abby sighs and crushes out her cigarette.
 
“And it’s not like working at County is that much safer. We just had a helicopter kill an attending, remember?”
 
Abby smiles.  “True. So what’s going on with Sam?”
 
“Huh?”
 
Abby grins. “If you don’t think everybody’s noticed the sparks flying, you’re wrong.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I don’t think it’s like that. She’s calmed down about Alex hanging around me, but I still don’t think she likes me.”
 
“Everybody likes you.”
 
Luka snorts. “Yeah, right.”
 
Abby pokes him. “They do. I know you butt heads with a lot of people, but they respect you. And you’re pretty cute most of the time with the whole ‘baffled foreigner’ thing you have going on.”
 
Luka chuckles and smirks. “I

am

a baffled foreigner.”
 
“I know.”
 
Luka reaches over and squeezes her knee. “Are you really doing okay about Carter and Kem?”
 
Abby sighs and tilts her head back. “What is this? Payback for asking you about Sam?”
 
Luka snorts. “No. It’s called being a friend.” He cocks his head at her. “For what it’s worth, I thought it was a, how do you say it? Cock moving?”
 
That makes Abby grin. “Dick move. And yeah, it was. He could have at least given us some warning. Sent up a smoke signal from the mud-hut.”
 
“I didn’t know anything about it, Abby. I hope you know that.”
 
“I do.” Abby sighs. “It’s not like I wanted him back or anything.”
 
Luka cocks a brow at her. “Good. Especially after the way he handled things.”
 
Abby’s lips curve. “Breakups are never handled well, Luka. You should know that.”
 
“Abby…” Luka wraps his arm around her. “I’m sorry.” 
 
“No.” Abby shakes her head. “I’m sorry. That was a cheap shot.”
 
“Not really.” He smiles sadly at her. “Abby, I don’t think I’ve ever told you how sorry I am for everything I said that night.”
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder. “Me too. I’m glad we stayed friends though.”
 
Luka grins. “Me too.” He squeezes her and lets go. “You deserve better than me. Better than Carter too.”
 
“You know? I’m not hurt, or brokenhearted, or anything else. I’m just a little pissed.”
 
The corner of Luka’s mouth quirks and he touches his tongue to his bottom lip. “ A little?”
 
Abby huffs. “Okay, maybe a lot. I told Carter I was fine, but he came in here like some hero returning from war with his gorgeous, pregnant girlfriend and just expects me to be happy for him.” She rolls her eyes. “I thought

you

were the densest man in my life, but Jesus

Christ

Carter has you beat this time. How stupid can he be?”
 
“Ah, pretty stupid, obviously.” 
 
“The worst of it is, everybody’s looking at me with pity, or worse, like it’s my fault.”
 
Luka snorts. “Nobody thinks it’s your fault.”
 
“Oh, please, Luka. They all think I should have treated Saint Carter better. Then he wouldn’t have run off to Africa and knocked up the princess.” Abby rolls her eyes again.
 
“Christ, Abby, is that what

you

think? Because that’s ridiculous. Do you think you’re the reason

I

ran off to Africa, too?” Luka’s heart squeezes a little. The simple truth was that she was the reason, or at least part of it. But he didn’t want her thinking it was her fault.
 
Abby studies him, knowing that their breakup and her relationship with Carter had been part of his issues the past year. But she wasn’t going to let him know that she knew. She shrugs and smirks. “No. You’re an adrenaline junkie.”
 
Luka laughs. “No I’m not. I went because I wanted to do...more. Carter did too.”
 
“He needed space from me, Luka. I’m not an idiot.” She shakes her head. “I get it. After everything that happened with Eric, I can’t blame him for running off. But here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to chase after him and declare my undying love and tell him I can’t live without him. What do people take me for? Some desperate woman who can’t be without a guy who doesn’t want me? I sure as

hell

have more self respect than that. I have more respect for

Carter

than that. And I absolutely

can

live without his constant condescension and need to change me. If people think I can’t or won’t, they’re stupid too. Jesus. People act like we were Romeo and Juliet, instead of just a bad relationship for both of us.”
 
Luka smiles. “That’s the spirit. Besides, Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy, not a romance.” He pokes her when she laughs at that. “And nobody expects that of you if they know either of you at all. Abby…”
 
“Luka, stop it. It’s sweet, but you don’t have to keep trying to make me feel better. I don’t want Carter, Carter doesn’t want me. End of story. We should have stayed friends to begin with. I don’t even know what we were thinking.”
 
“You cared about him.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Yeah. He felt safe, you know? Well, safer than…” she trails off.
 
Luka cocks his head at her. “Me?”
 
Abby lifts a shoulder. “Neither one of us is exactly stable, Luka.”
 
He laughs mirthlessly. “That’s true.”
 
Abby smirks at him. “You’re hotter than he is.”
 
Luka snorts. “Thanks, I think.” He wiggles his brows. “Better in bed, too?”
 
Abby checks her watch and ignores that. It was true, but there was no need to encourage him. “I need to get back in soon. My dinner break is almost over.”
 
Luka bumps a fist on her knee. “Abby, you need to know that it wasn’t you. With me or Carter.”
 
She rolls her eyes toward him. “Right.”
 
“I’m serious. I can’t speak for Carter, but with us…” Luka shakes his head.
 
Abby smiles at him. “We were both scared, and idiots.”
 
“Yeah. You’re amazing. I hope you know that.” Luka gives her a soft smile.
 
“Of course I do.” She snickers at him and pats his cheek. “You’re pretty great too. You should go for it with Sam.”
 
Luka swallows hard. What was that song? ‘Love the One You’re With’? He felt it keenly at the moment. “You think?”
 
Abby shrugs. “Sure. She’s cute. She seems fun. Her kid is a little weirdo, but he likes you. And she satisfies your nurse fetish.”
 
Luka snorts. “I don’t have a nurse fetish.”
 
“Right.” Abby lifts a brow.
 
“I don’t.” His lips quirk. “Okay, maybe a little.”
 
“Exactly.” Abby sighs and takes his hand for a squeeze. “You need to stop just letting things happen, Luka.” She rises. “Maybe I do too.”
 
Luka rises with her, knowing she’s right, but unconvinced that he should do anything. “You seem to be. You’re kicking ass at your rotations aren’t you?”
 
Abby laughs a little. “That’s a matter of opinion.”
 
Luka bumps her with his shoulder. “You are. You’re going to be a great doctor, Abby.”
 
She nods and swallows, remembering the time he’d said pretty much those

exact

words to her. Right before their first kiss. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
 
Luka squeezes her shoulder, realizing the same thing she had. “I meant it then, and I mean it now.” He smiles when she nods, and they share a charged look, remembering. He clears his throat. “Now get back in there and kick more ass.”
 
Abby laughs. “Yes, doctor. Have a good night.” She sighs as she watches him nod and walk out of the bay. She might be kicking ass at her rotations, but she’d be damned if she would let Luka or Carter kick hers.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka drags himself into the apartment after a brutal shift. All he wanted was food, his son, and his...Abby. Smiling a little, he realizes that she’s already his wife in his thoughts. His heart. He’d convince her to marry him one of these days. Tossing his keys on the table by the door, he wanders in to find her, sound asleep on the couch, with Joe wide awake and staring at his mother from the crook of her arm. Chuckling, he moves to take him. “Shhh.” Luka jiggles the baby when he gurgles at his father. “Don’t wake mama.” he whispers. 
 
Carrying Joe, he heads into the kitchen to scrounge himself up something to eat. Luka makes himself a sandwich one handed while he chatters to Joe in Croatian. Amused as the baby stares at him as if he has two heads. Biting into the sandwich, he turns to find Abby watching them. “Hey. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
 
“You didn’t.” Abby stretches and yawns. “I woke up when I realized Joe was gone. I thought I’d dropped him. It scared the shit out of me.”
 
Luka smiles and sits next to her. “Sorry.”
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder. “It’s okay. How was your shift?”
 
“Terrible.” He leans his head on hers. “I’m happy to be home.”
 
“Do you want to talk about it?”
 
“Not really.” Luka tips his head down to kiss her. 
 
“I’m shocked.” Abby smirks at him.
 
Luka shifts a little. “What do you mean by that?”
 
She shakes her head. “Nothing.” Abby sighs when he continues to stare at her. “You’re not exactly a chatterbox, Luka.”
 
He raises an eyebrow at her. “I talk to you.”
 
“Yeah, you do. Well, more than you used to.” She huffs out a breath. “I’m sorry. You had a pisser of a day. I didn’t mean to bring this up.”
 
Shifting Joe, who had fallen asleep on his shoulder, Luka turns her face to his. “Why did you?”
 
Jerking a shoulder, Abby looks down at her lap. “I don’t really know. It just seems like we’re so involved in Joe that we don’t really talk about anything else.” 
 
Luka nods and sighs. “Do you need to feed him?” 
 
Abby shakes her head, a little disappointed. “No. He ate just before I fell asleep. About a half hour ago.”
 
He leans in to kiss her. “Okay. Stay here. I’m going to put him down.”
 
Abby opens her mouth when he rises. 
 
“Quiet. I’ll be right back.”
 
Abby scowls as he takes Joe upstairs. Dammit. This isn’t how she had meant to bring this up. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy with how things were right now. She

was.

Abby was happier than she’d been in her entire life. But she didn’t want to just be Joe’s mom and dad. She wanted to be a couple too. 
 
Luka comes back down and sits beside her, squeezing her thigh. “I’m sorry.”
 
“For what?”
 
He chuckles a little. “I’m not sure.” Luka grins when she laughs. “Abby, I know that we haven’t talked about much other than Joe for the last few weeks.”
 
“Almost six.” she smiles a little.
 
“I know.” Luka leans over to kiss her. “I just...I don’t know what to say. I know you miss working, so I don’t want to talk about that too much.”
 
“You could at least fill me in on the gossip that I haven’t already gotten from Neela.” Abby’s lips quirk up.
 
Luka shrugs. “Neela is better at that part than I am. The new surgical chief resident is a little asshole.”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah, I heard. Can’t wait to meet him.” She tips her head to his shoulder. “I do miss work. I needed this time with Joe, and to heal, but I’m ready to go back.”
 
“I know.” Luka bites his lip and decides to broach the subject. “I haven’t been talking about wedding plans.” He tightens his grip on her hand when she starts to pull back. “Hey, you started this.”
 
Abby sighs and smiles at him. “Luka, you know it’s not because I don’t love you.”
 
“Do I?” He cocks his head at her.
 
Scowling at him, Abby pokes his shoulder with her free hand. “If you don’t know that I love you, you’re an idiot. And you should talk.”
 
Luka sighs and pulls her into his lap. “I know I don’t say it very often, but I do love you. With everything in me.” He tips her head up to kiss her softly. “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”
 
“Did you seriously just quote Mr. Knightley?” Abby gives him a baffled smile.
 
“Who?”
 
Abby chuckles and gives him a squeeze. “Never mind. But right back at you.”
 
Luka’s hand strokes over her hair. “Abby, I...I never thought I’d be able to fall in love again after Danjiela. I thought maybe someday I would find some nice woman to spend time with and maybe get married and have more kids. We would like each other, and enjoy each other. But I never expected this. I never in a million years thought I’d feel this way again.” He pulls back to look in her eyes. “I tried to force it with Sam. The problem was, I knew all along that I loved someone else.”
 
Abby nods, thinking he meant Danijela. “I understand that. I could see that’s what you were doing.” She smiles a little. “It irritated me.”
 
Luka grins. “I know. But my point is, Abby, you came into my life all those years ago and you made me hope. You weren’t at all what I expected, but you were exactly what I needed. What I feel for you isn’t the same as what I felt for Danijela. I don’t think it can be or should be. But it’s just as deep, just as strong. Just as true.” He leans in to kiss her again. “Maybe more.”
 
Abby lifts her hand to stroke his cheek while a tear spills over. “I know how much you loved her. Still love her. So thank you.” She smiles when he leans his forehead on hers. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I need you to know that too.”
 
Luka nods and swallows. “Thank you.”
 
“I loved Richard, as much as I could. It didn’t last very long, and marrying him was more about getting away than being in love and wanting to share a life with him. That’s why…”
 
Luka pulls back and takes her by the shoulders. “I understand why you’re hesitant, Abby. You don’t have to explain.”
 
“I think I do.” Abby sighs. “When Carter was going to ask me, I debated saying yes. But then he didn’t. And I realized that I would have said yes for the same reason I said yes to Richard. I wanted stability and someone who cared about me.” She shakes her head and cups his face. “But Luka, you’ve already given me those things. I don’t need to get away from anything because I’ve got everything I need, right here with you. You gave me love, and stability, and home, and a beautiful son. I don’t need a wedding to

validate

what we have. We already share a life together. It’s everything I’ve ever needed.”
 
Luka smiles at her. “I told you I’d take love, and I meant it. I want to marry you, Abby. But for right now, what we have is more than enough.”
 
Abby nods and strokes his neck. “I hope I can give that to you someday.” 
 
“Are we okay now?” Luka narrows his eyes when she hesitates. “What else?”
 
Abby laughs a little. “It’s stupid.”
 
“What?”
 
Abby bites her lip. “Well, we haven’t, uh…”
 
Luka’s lips curve up in a smile. “Haven’t what?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes and pokes him again. “You know what.”
 
Luka leans in and nuzzles her neck. “Why can’t you say it?”
 
Closing her eyes, Abby tilts her head back. “We haven’t made love since Joe was born.”
 
Trailing his lips up to the sensitive spot behind her ear, Luka lingers there. “I know.”
 
“I know you know, you ass.” Abby pulls back to look down at him. “I want to know why.”
 
Luka gives her a baffled look. “You know why.”
 
Abby shoves at his shoulder. “No, I don’t. Do you not…”
 
He looks poleaxed. “Seriously? You are

not

going to ask me if I don’t want to.”
 
She shrugs. “Luka, you haven’t made a real move on me in…”
 
Luka takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply. Tongue sliding in as his lips war with hers, leaving her breathless when he pulls back to stare at her. “You idiot. You sleep next to me every night, and wake up with me every morning. If you can’t tell that I still want you…”
 
“Then why…”
 
“Abby, Jesus Christ.” He gives her shoulders a shake. “You had a c-section

and

a hysterectomy. Why the hell do you think? You’re still healing and I…” Luka shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
 
Stunned, Abby stares at him. “Luka, you could never hurt me.” She cups his cheek when he shakes his head again. “You can’t. I’m fine. Janet cleared me weeks ago, and even if she hadn’t, I know my own body. I’m okay, and I want you.” Abby leans in to take his mouth. “So much.”
 
Luka strokes her cheek. “You’re sure?”
 
“Completely sure. I need to feel...connected to you that way again. I’m sorry I didn’t make that more clear.”
 
Nodding, Luka scoops her into his arms and bolts for the stairs. Taking them two at a time, he shoves open the door to their bedroom with his shoulder. “We seem to be better at nonverbal communication.” 
 
Abby laughs and strokes his hair. “Slow down, sailor.”
 
Luka strides to the bed and lays her down, cocking his head, he watches her as he unbuttons his shirt, and strips. “Do you want slow?” 
 
Abby smiles when he slides onto the bed with her. “Maybe. It’s been awhile.” She gasps when his hands begin to roam and his lips trail along her jaw. Sighing, she strokes his hair and lets herself revel in the

feel

of his body over hers. She smiles when he tugs her shirt over her head. “Fast is okay, too.”
 
Luka grins down at her. “Let’s see how it goes.” He flicks open the center clasp of her bra and groans when he takes her breast in his mouth, the silky flesh like ambrosia in his mouth. He had missed holding her like this. Laying next to her every night and not touching her had been slowly killing him. He was desperate to touch and kiss every inch of her. 
 
Abby gasps when he slides her jeans over her hips, arching up and giving herself over to him. She wanted him to take whatever he needed, and she cries out when his tongue slides over her and into her. The pleasure of his mouth on her, in her, shoots her over the edge and she screams his name as she comes.
 
Chuckling, Luka kisses his way up her body until he finds her lips. “Shhh. You’ll wake the baby.” He deepens the kiss as he slips inside her, heart bursting with joy and love as he takes her.
 
Abby smiles and takes his hands as he thrusts. Hips rising up to meet him, she wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him even closer, groaning as he quickens the pace. Choking out his name, she comes again and shudders when he empties himself inside her. 
 
Stroking his neck, Abby giggles. “Worth it.”
 
Luka lifts his head to look at her. “Huh?”
 
“It would have been worth it to wake the baby. But we didn’t.” 
 
Luka grins and rolls to cuddle her to his side. “It would definitely have been worth it.” He strokes her hair. “Do you believe me now?
 
Abby snuggles her head into his shoulder. “Yeah. Thanks for proving it. I love you, Luka.”
 
He kisses the top of her head. “I love you, too. Even when I don’t tell you.”
 
Nodding, Abby starts drifting. “I know.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka rolls over and regards his sleeping wife. She wasn’t going to be thrilled to get up so early on a Sunday, but they had things to do. Trailing his fingers along her hip, he presses his lips to the nape of her neck. “Abby…” he murmurs.
 
Abby stirs and wiggles her butt closer to him. “Hrrmpph.”
 
Luka smirks and shifts a little, her warm body pressing against his was taking his mind off track. He pushes up on his elbow and pinches her arm gently. “

Abby.”

“

What?”

Abby flips over on her stomach. “What time is it?”
 
Luka leans over to kiss her cheek. “Early. But it’s time to play Easter Bunny.”
 
Abby pulls the pillow over her head. “I told you we should have done all that last night, but you had other ideas.” She turns her head to glare at him from under the pillow. “You should have to do it. That’s your punishment.”
 
Luka chuckles and kisses her shoulder, pulling the pillow away. Taking her hands, he pulls her up and cocks a brow at her. “Do I deserve a punishment?”
 
Abby squints at him and rolls her eyes. “No. But if you don’t make me coffee, very soon, you’re going to get one.”
 
Luka chuckles and slides out of bed. Pulling his pajama pants off the chair, he tugs them on. “Okay. But get your ass downstairs if you want some.”
 
Abby regards him as he leaves. The man approached every holiday with the excitement of a child. It was adorable, but also...annoying when she was dragging her ass out of bed at six thirty in the morning on her day off. Sighing, she tosses the covers aside and pulls on her robe.
 
Luka simply hands her a mug when she steps into the kitchen. He grins when she drains half of it. “I love you, Abby.”
 
She narrows her eyes at him. “Are you making fun of me?”
 
Taking the mug, Luka sets it aside to slide his arms around her. “Yes. But that doesn’t make it less true.” He lowers his mouth to hers in a soft kiss. 
 
Abby sighs and leans into him. “I know. I love you too.” She mumbles it against his chest. 
 
Luka gives her a squeeze and lets go, moving to refill both of their coffee mugs. He nods at the window. “It’s raining. I guess we have to hide the stuff inside.”
 
“Yeah.” Abby sighs. It was too bad. Having a yard for things like Easter Egg Hunts was a major perk of being homeowners. “At least I convinced you to use the plastic eggs instead of real ones. Knowing us, we’d forget one somewhere and it would rot.”
 
Luka snorts and hands her a bag with half the plastic eggs filled with candy and change. “Go hide some.”
 
Abby looks down at the bag and then back up at him. “Wait, you’re not going to make me search too, are you?”
 
Luka raises a brow. “If you want your chocolate you will.”
 
Abby laughs and shakes her head. “I’m going to start slipping you Xanax on holidays.”
 
Luka pats her butt and takes his own bag. “Hide them good.”
 
By seven thirty they have the eggs hidden and the (very large) Easter Basket waiting for their son. Abby settles down at the table with another cup of coffee while Luka starts breakfast. “Did you still want to go to Mass?” 
 
Luka nods and slides his eyes over to her. “If that’s okay.” 
 
Abby nods and shrugs. “Sure.” Sipping her coffee, she studies him as he cracks eggs in a bowl. They hadn’t really discussed whether or not to raise Joe in the Church. It wasn’t something that Abby really believes, or wants to deal with, but...Luka’s faith was something that she truly loves about him. Not that he was insanely devout or anything, but she kind of loves that he has that foundation. That belief that everything happens for a reason and that things will always work out for the best. The man had gone through some harrowing shit in his life, and he still held onto that faith. It was sort of beautiful. Abby rises and slides her arms around his waist, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. “As long as you don’t make me get up this early every Sunday.”
 
Luka laughs and squeezes her hands. “God forbid.” He turns to kiss the top of her head. “Why don’t you go see if Joe’s up?”
 
“Sure.”
 
Luka grins when she comes back down, carrying a sleepy-eyed Joe. “Good morning, Joe.”
 
Joe knuckles at his eye. “Pancakes.” He demands.
 
Luka chuckles and kisses his forehead. “You have a one-track mind in the morning, just like mama.”
 
Abby smirks and sets Joe in his booster. “Like you don’t.”
 
Luka sets the platter of pancakes and eggs on the table, pausing to kiss her. “My mind has many tracks.”
 
Eying him, Abby sits. “You got that right.” Making a plate for Joe, she hands it to him. “Tata said he saw the Easter Bunny come. You have to eat your pancakes and eggs, then we’ll see what he left.”
 
Joe’s eyes widen and he looks between his mother and his father. “Why do bunny leave eggs?”
 
Luka opens his mouth, closes it again. “Ah…”
 
Abby smiles at Joe. “Because eggs are for Easter.”
 
“Why?”
 
Abby pauses, stumped. “You know? I have no idea.”
 
“Tata know?” Joe looks at him expectantly while chewing his pancake.
 
“I don’t know either, buddy. I’ll write him a letter and ask.” Luka grins at Abby when Joe nods, apparently satisfied with that. 
 
Abby collapses on the couch with her haul of eggs an hour later. Luka had hidden some high and out of reach, the bastard. “You really made me work for my chocolate.”
 
Luka gives her an exasperated look as he continues to hop behind Joe, who had insisted that Tata act like a bunny. “And I’m not?”
 
Abby’s face breaks into a wide grin and then she’s laughing hysterically. She can’t help it. Seeing her six foot four husband hopping like a rabbit to appease their three year old goes in her top ten list of the funniest things she’s ever seen. 
 
Luka glares at her, but his lips twitch. “Shut up. Joe, why isn’t mama hopping?”
 
“Mama is not bunny. You are bunny, Tata.” Joe tells him seriously.
 
Abby laughs even harder at that, and Luka rolls his eyes, amused at her hilarity. He pauses, and then dives on top of her, making her squeal. “If mama’s not a bunny, what is she?” Luka drills his finger into her side, tickling her.
 
Joe runs over to join the fray, patting Abby’s cheek, he grins. “Mama is duck.”
 
Luka cocks his head. “Then she should quack.” He tickles her again. “Quack, Mama.”
 
Joe claps his hands while Abby squirms, trying to catch her breath and get away from Luka’s fingers. “Quack, Mama!”
 
“No! I can’t breathe.” Abby has tears rolling down her face from laughing so hard. “I am

not

quacking.”
 
“It’s only fair, I had to hop.” Luka curls his hand around her leg and pulls her closer again.
 
“Joe, your basket is in the kitchen. Why don’t we go get it?” Abby manages to half sit up.
 
Luka shakes his head when Joe shouts in excitement and runs toward the kitchen. “Distraction. Unfair.”
 
Abby wipes her eyes and rises. “It’s unfair that the two of you ganged up on me.”
 
Luka smiles up at her, beaming. “You deserved it.”
 
Abby smiles and heads toward the kitchen to help Joe with his basket. “Happy Easter, Luka.”
 
Luka smiles even wider and sighs happily when Joe comes out of the kitchen, struggling under the weight of his basket while Abby follows, watching their son with amused affection in her eyes. Luka is pretty sure it’s one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. “Happy Easter.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby sighs contentedly as she snuggles her head in the crook of Luka’s neck. Stroking her hand through his chest hair, she smiles. “So, hi.”
 
Luka chuckles and kisses the top of her head. “Hi. That was ah...a really nice welcome home.” Abby had (literally) jumped him the minute he walked in the door from his short trip to Boston for an interview. He’s not complaining.
 
“Well, I owed you.” Her hand stills when she feels him tense. “Sorry...just. I’m sorry.”
 
Luka shakes his head and pulls her closer. “It’s okay.” He sighs. “I missed you. I’ve done a lot of that lately.”
 
Abby nods. “I know the feeling.”
 
“I don’t want to be apart from you again, Abby. Not for that long, at least. I don’t know. I’m not sure if I could do it again.” He strokes her arm, running his nails along her skin, making her shiver.
 
“Me either. Not having you here was awful, Luka. I need you with us.” 
 
“Can I ask you something I’ve been wondering about? You don’t have to answer if you don’t know or if you don’t want to tell me.” Luka turns his face to kiss her forehead when she nods. “Why did you drink? I mean...why did it start this time?”
 
Abby shifts so she can take his hand. “Do you really want to know?”
 
Luka rubs his thumb over her wedding ring and clears his throat. “Yeah. I think I...I need to know.”
 
Abby sighs and sits up so she can look down at him, still holding his hand. She strokes his cheek with her other hand. “I love you. You...you’re everything to me. You and Joe. I need you to know that first, Luka. Really.” Abby swallows when he only nods. “Okay. Here’s the thing. I don’t want you to take this as an accusation, or like it’s your fault. Because it’s not. It’s all on me, Luka.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Abby…”
 
“No. I know you, and I don’t think I can tell you this if you’re going to take it that way.”
 
Luka tugs her down for a soft kiss. “Okay...I...I’ll try.”
 
Abby blows out a breath. “I guess that’s the best you can do.” She shifts so she’s sitting up against the headboard. “I was scared, Luka.” When he only nods, she trails her hand over his shoulder. “Joe was hurt and I couldn’t reach you. On the way home….we almost got in an accident.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows. “You didn’t tell me that.”
 
Abby sighs. “I guess it got lost in everything else. But it was all too much. I guess it had been building for a while, but that’s what really hit me, I guess. You didn’t answer your phone when Joe was really hurt and I needed you so badly. It’s just...I told you that whenever I talked to you I could hear in your voice how happy you were. Even with everything going on with your dad, you were so happy to be home.”
 
“Croatia isn’t home for me anymore, Abby.” Luka takes her hand again. “It hasn’t been for a long time.”
 
“I know. Now.” She smiles a little when he lifts a brow. Abby squeezes his hand and decides to just say it. “But you sounded so thrilled to be there, while I was here. Miserable and missing you. I felt selfish, and then just...mad, Luka. Because you

did

have a good reason to be gone for so long. But we also had a life here, and I was doing it without you. I needed you, and you just didn’t

get

it. I was afraid you changed your mind.” she almost whispers it.
 
“About what?” Luka shakes his head and looks at her incredulously. “About you? Us?” He pulls her in closer and closes his eyes when she nods. “Oh, God. I’m...I’m so sorry.”
 
“Luka, it’s….You have to understand it’s not about you. It’s nothing you did. It’s all about me and my insecurities. You

told

me. Over and over again, how much you missed me. Us. But…” she sighs. “That’s a lot easier to believe when I can see you. We’ve never been good at expressing our feelings with words. But when you look at me, I

know

how you feel. You don’t have to say it. So when you do...did...it just….I don’t know. It didn’t seem like the same thing.” Abby shrugs. “But it’s still not your fault.”
 
“It’s hard not to feel that way.” He shifts a little so he can look in her eyes. “Abby, I thought by marrying you, all but insisting that we get married, you would understand how much I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. I was

sure

that getting married would prove to you how much I love you and need us to be together.”
 
Abby nods. “I understand why you would think that.” She touches his cheek when he shakes his head. “I really do, Luka. You...You’re used to relationships, at least marriages, sticking.” Abby sighs again. “I’m not. Everyone else has always changed their mind. I was married before, remember? Marriage isn’t a guarantee that you’ll stay. Not for me.”

Luka wraps his arm more tightly around her, wanting to protest...but…”It is for me. I take our vows very seriously. It’s just...that’s marriage. That’s the whole point. I wish I’d made that more clear. Abby, I wish I could…”
 
“No. Stop it. Just let me finish this.” Abby nods when he kisses her head. “I

know

how you see marriage. I should have believed you when you promised me that you would always be there, and that we would do life together. You, of all people, you’ve never given me any reason to doubt you. But you were gone. You were gone, Luka. Even though I knew, rationally, you’d be back, because even if you changed your mind about me, you sure as hell wouldn’t change it about our son; you were gone, and it just got easier and easier to believe you weren’t coming back.”
 
Luka’s heart squeezes and he sits up, taking her face in his hands, he blinks back tears. “I’m trying really hard not to get pissed off.” Luka kisses her softly. 
 
Abby snorts. “I know. You have every right to. I just...Luka, even my own

parents

changed their minds about me…”
 
“It’s getting even harder not to get pissed.” Luka takes her shoulders and squeezes. “You know it was never about you.”
 
Abby nods slowly. “I know it wasn’t about me with my parents, or Eric. It was a combination of things with other men, and even with us the first time. But…” she shifts a little bit. “Come on, Luka. You know what it’s like to be so scared and messed up in your head that you can’t think rationally. Going to the Congo comes to mind.”
 
Luka deflates. “Yeah.”
 
“Look. I know you love me. I know, and I

knew

that you would come home. I should have just

told

you how I was feeling, but I…”
 
Luka swallows. “When you did tell me you needed me, I told you not to make it harder.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. I should have had more faith in you. In

us.

I should have trusted you. I just couldn’t, not then, and…” she lets out a sobbing breath. “I’m sorry.”
 
“God.” Luka rubs his hand over his face and sighs. Shifting, he pulls her over, into his lap. Rubbing slow circles on her back, his heart breaks a little as she cries. “I get it now.”
 
Sniffling, Abby runs the back of her hand under her eyes. “Get what?”
 
Luka presses his lips to the top of her head. “Now it’s your turn not to blame yourself. Okay?” Smiling when she nods, he tightens his grip. “I knew what it was like to have stability. I grew up with parents who loved each other and loved us, and just…” he shakes his head. “We were happy, even if things weren’t perfect, we were happy. I had the same thing with Danijela and the kids. We had problems, and we were living in hard times, but we loved each other and I never doubted it. We were a family, and we were going to stay that way.” Luka turns her face up to his so he can look her in the eyes. “When I married you, and even before, I had those same feelings about us. I never doubted it. We loved each other, we were a family, and that’s the way it had to stay, because that’s how it works.” He strokes his hand over her hair and leans in to kiss her softly. “I left you a week after our wedding, and I never stopped to think, I never even considered that you never had the same thing before.” Luka brings their joined hands to his lips. “I know you better than anyone, and I never thought of it. I’m so sorry for that.”
 
Abby sighs and shakes her head. “You shouldn’t have had to think of it. You should have been able to believe it. You know how I would say stuff about not believing in people staying together forever?” she laces their fingers together and squeezes when he nods. “It’s because for me, nobody had ever stayed. I didn’t have that...foundation, I guess.” Abby tilts her head up again. “But I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. What we have is solid, and real. I should have believed in us.”
 
“Do you believe in us now?” Luka bites the corner of his lower lip.
 
Her words tumble out in a rush. “I...I can’t lie to you, Luka. I’m still scared. I’m still afraid we won’t be able to get completely past this and…”
 
“Abby…”
 
Abby shakes her head. “No. I know you forgive me. I don’t doubt you, because it’s what you believe, and when you make up your mind about something, you stick…”
 
“

Abby…”

“But it was just so

much

...and I…”
 
“Exactly.” Luka cuts her off with a hard kiss.
 
Abby blinks. “What?”
 
Luka smiles at her. “When I make up my mind about something, I stick. It

was

a lot. But what we have is a lot too. It’s even more than that. You don’t have to be scared.” He kisses her forehead. “I know that’s easier said than done, and I know we still have a lot to work on, but I think we’ve made a pretty good start, yeah?”
 
Abby blows out a breath. “Yeah, I guess we have.”
 
Luka pulls her down and rolls to cage her, propping himself on his elbows and smiling down at her. “Abby, I waited seven years to marry you.” He drops his head to nibble at her collarbone. “We both made a lot of mistakes in that time, and in the year since.” Luka trails his lips up to her ear, shifting to nudge her legs apart with his knee. “But Abby, I want to keep making mistakes with you for the rest of our lives.”
 
“Luka…” Abby sighs when he slips inside her again. She lifts her hand to stroke his cheek while he moves. “I love you.” The intensity in his eyes as he watches her while they make love overwhelms her. There were times when he looked at her like that, it felt like he was looking into her soul. It used to terrify her, but now...it comforted.
 
Luka drops his forehead to hers, murmuring to her in Croatian. He slides his hands under her hips, lifting her so he could go deeper. His heart felt like it was in a vice, filled with both joy and the certainty that this time..they would get it right. They would make it work. The alternative was impossible. Pressing his lips to her throat he murmurs. “This is it, Abby. You and me, forever.” Quickening the pace, Luka takes her mouth with his. When she cries out, he lets himself go.
 
Collapsing on top of her, Luka strokes Abby’s hair. “Okay?”
 
Abby trails her hand up his spine. “Okay.” She tilts her head up to kiss him. “Thank you.”
 
Rolling, Luka pulls her on top of him. “Right back at you.” He sighs. “Abby, I know just as well as you do that we have a lot of work to do. I’m not being idealistic about this. I’m being honest. This is what marriage is about. Working together so we can have a life together. I love you, I need what we have, and I’ll do everything that I can to make this work.”
 
Nodding, Abby smiles at him. “Me too. I love you.” Sliding down, she strokes his shoulder again. “I think a fresh start will do us a lot of good.”
 
Luka grins. “I’m glad you said that. They offered me the job.”
 
Abby squeaks. “

What

?” She shoves up on her elbow to stare down at him. “Talk about burying the lead.”
 
Luka’s face scrunches up in confusion. “Huh?”
 
Abby snorts. “It means...never mind. I’ll explain later.” She kisses him. “Congratulations. Did you accept?”
 
“I told them I needed to talk to my wife first, but that I would give them an answer by tomorrow.” Luka strokes her cheek. “So what do you think?”
 
Abby looks down into his smiling eyes, where she can see their future. Leaning down to take his lips again she murmurs..”I think we should get out of here.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Joe lets himself in the house as quietly as he can. He wasn’t

that

late for curfew, but he knew his mom would skin him anyways if she caught him. He bends to pet the dog when he lets out a soft “woof” of greeting. “Hey boy. Keep quiet, okay?” Joe whispers it.
 
“Why? You’re busted anyways.”
 
Joe looks up and winces when he sees Abby, rumpled and wearing a robe, leaning against the jamb to the kitchen. Shit. “Ah...hi mom.”
 
Abby pushes away from the wall. “Don’t you ‘hi mom’ me, Josip Luka Kovač. Where the hell have you been? You’re almost an hour late, and it’s a school night.”
 
Joe grimaces at her use of his full name. She only did that when she was really pissed. “Um, the guys and I went out for some food. I lost track of time. Sorry.”
 
Abby pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Yeah. My phone still works.” She glances up at Luka, coming down the stairs, rubbing his face. “Does your phone still work?”
 
“What?” Luka glances back and forth between his wife’s angry face and his son’s sheepish one. “Oh. Yeah. Pretty sure it does.” Amused, he steps over to stand in solidarity with Abby and gives Joe a stern look. “Why didn’t you call if you were going to be late?”
 
“I just forgot. Really. I’m sorry.” He tries a smile at his mother who just stares at him, eyes narrowed. 
 
“Let me see your leg.” Abby demands. 
 
Joe’s eyes widen. “Why?” 
 
“Because you’re limping, and you’re over-pronating like you’re trying to hide something.” Abby lifts a brow. “So you’ve either got some sort of contraband in your sock, or you got a tattoo.”
 
Luka gapes at her. “How the hell do you know that?”
 
Abby’s brows practically disappear into her hair. “One, I’m a Doctor. Two, I was a rebellious teenager. Three, I’m his mother. Let’s see it, Joe.”
 
“I’m a Doctor and his father, and I never would have thought that.” Luka mutters. 
 
Abby snorts. “You were never a rebellious teenager. You saved your rebellion for your thirties.”
 
Luka presses his lips together, trying not to laugh. “Alright Josip. Give it up. You know she won’t let it go.” He winces when Abby elbows him. 
 
Joe looks between his parents. He can never decide which one of them will kick his ass (metaphorically) harder. His dad looked more amused than anything, but he was having a hard time reading his mother. Joe holds up his hands. “Okay, first of all, I’m not rebellious.” He tries a smile when Abby just stares at him stonily. “Come on, mom. You know I’m not.”
 
“Not usually. Which probably makes a single instance a big deal.”
 
Joe clears his throat. “You know I wouldn’t drink, or smoke. Or do drugs. I’d lose my scholarship for next year and you both would murder me.”
 
Abby rubs her hand over her face. “So how did you manage to get a tattoo without parental consent? You’re only seventeen.”
 
“Ah, Bri knows a guy…”
 
Luka simply covers his face with his hands and rubs. Abby lets out a thin scream and yanks at her hair. “He

knows a guy

? Are you fucking kidding me, Joe?”
 
Joe scowls. “What? It was clean!”
 
Abby strides forward and yanks up the leg of his jeans, pulling back the bandage on his calf. “Is that...Is that the Polish Falcon?” Torn between anger and amusement, she stares up at him. 
 
Joe tries another smile. “Ah, yeah. Kind of an homage to both the school mascot and to your heritage, mom. We have a lot of Croatian stuff around here, but nothing for that.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes, a little touched, in spite of herself. “Damn it.”
 
Luka still has his hands over his face, but his shoulders are shaking with laughter. He drops his hands. “It could have been worse.” Luka shrugs when Abby glares at him. “What? It could have!”
 
“Sure. If he doesn’t end up with Hep-C. What the hell were you thinking, Joe?”
 
“I guess I wasn’t.” He hunches his shoulders. “You have a tattoo.” Joe mutters. 
 
“He’s got you there.” Luka smirks at Abby. “Pretty sure you got it as a teenager too.”
 
Abby shoots him a look. “Not helping, Luka.”
 
Luka shrugs again. “Not trying to.”
 
Abby sucks in a breath. “Okay. Look. Go upstairs, make sure that’s clean, and put some damn Neosporin on it. Then get your ass in bed.”
 
Joe looks at his mother warily. “That’s it?”
 
“For now, yeah. We’ll let you know your punishment tomorrow. Go.” Abby watches as he hurries for the stairs and whirls on Luka. “Seriously?”
 
“What? Abby, this is literally the worst thing he’s

ever

done.” He steps forward and runs his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. Luka presses his lips to her forehead. “I take that as a parenting win.”
 
She sighs. “Oh sure. He gets a tattoo in a van down by the river, and that’s a win.”
 
Luka pulls back to give her a confused look. “How do you know it was a van?”
 
Abby stares at him and then laughs, a little hysterically. “Jesus Christ.” 
 
“What?”
 
“Never mind the van. Luka, he just got a

tattoo

from some person who doesn’t even bother to follow the law. That doesn’t make you just a little bit mad?” She throws up her hands. 
 
Luka shrugs. “Maybe a little. But not really at Joe.” He rolls his eyes when she glares at him. “Abby, he’s seventeen. I was in the army at his age. He deserves to be able to make decisions like this.”
 
Deflating, Abby starts upstairs. “Maybe. He still broke curfew. And Luka. He got a

tattoo.

You realize those are permanent, right?” 
 
Luka follows her into the bedroom and spins her around, unbelting her robe to stroke a hand over her hip. “Yeah. Yours is pretty sexy.” He lowers his mouth to hers and grins when she wiggles away.
 
“Stop trying to distract me.” Abby glares when Luka just keeps smiling at her. “Fine. If you’re not going to help, he’s grounded for two weeks.”
 
Luka shrugs and climbs into bed. “Seems kind of harsh, but okay.”
 
Rolling her eyes to the ceiling, Abby laughs. “You think it’s funny, don’t you?”
 
Luka snorts out a laugh. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think. Maybe he should have told us…”
 
“You think?” Abby crawls into bed, sitting up against the headboard so she could see him.
 
“Yeah. He should have mentioned it, no question. But it’s still up to him.” Luka smiles a little. “You have to admit, his choice of design was very sweet.”
 
Abby’s lips quirk up in a smile. “That’s why he’s not getting a month of house arrest.” She blows out a breath. “Okay.” Abby eyes him with a smirk. “You’re handling it the first time he has sex.”
 
Luka lifts a brow. “How do you know he hasn’t? And why do I have to handle it?” he scowls at her.
 
“You still underestimate my powers? I’m his mother. I’ll know.” Abby shrugs when Luka smirks at her. “Those are the big deals. Drinking, drugs, smoking, tattoos and sex. I handled the tattoo. You get the sex, since I believe him about the other stuff. Joe hasn’t had sex yet.” She frowns. “I thought maybe it was moving that way with Ashley, but then she dumped him.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “He spent a week moping in his room and writing bad poetry.”
 
Abby snorts. “It was really bad. Not that I would ever tell him that.” She leans over to kiss him. “You never wrote bad poetry when we broke up did you?”
 
Luka rolls to his side and strokes a finger over her shoulder. “No. I spent weeks crying and listening to really sad songs.”
 
Abby props her head on her hand and grins at him. “You did not.”
 
“I wore out two Alanis Morissette CD’s.” Luka laughs when she pokes him in the chest. “Seriously!”
 
“You’re a terrible liar.” Abby smirks at him.
 
Luka kisses her nose. “I know. Anyways, why do I have to handle it when Joe doesn’t get his heart broken and he…”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “You’re his father. That’s how this works. Besides. He’s only got another few months before he’s eighteen. We might avoid that particular milestone.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows. “What does that have to do with anything?”
 
“He’ll be an adult.” Abby’s lips curve. “Technically. Anyways, I’ll let you know if you’re clear or not.”
 
“Okay.” Luka walks his fingers up her arm. “Maybe Joe’s parents should have sex right now?’
 
Abby snickers when he rolls her to her back and drops a kiss on her forehead. “That’s a very weird segue.”
 
“Anything to shut you up.” Luka chuckles when she bites him. “Besides, it’s not weird. If you recall, this is how we got Joe in the first place.”
 
“I have a vague recollection, yeah.” Abby wraps her arms around his neck and sighs when he nuzzles her.
 
“Then be quiet.” Luka lifts his head to grin at her.
 
“Okay.” Abby laughs and pulls his mouth to hers.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka takes Abby’s hand as he walks her outside. “You okay?”
 
Abby frowns. “I accidentally told Morris I was pregnant.”
 
Luka raises a brow. “Accidentally?”
 
She rolls her eyes. “I was eating an ice cream bar and he asked if I was pregnant. I didn’t deny it fast enough.” Abby shrugs. “It was going to get out eventually. I just didn’t want Morris to be the first one to know.”
 
Luka laughs and leans down to kiss her. “I’ll come by after my shift is over, okay?”
 
Abby grins at him. “Sure. Bring food.”
 
He smiles when she gives his hand a final squeeze and walks toward the L. Sighing, Luka watches her go and turns back toward the doors. Shit. Morris knew Abby was pregnant. Which means it would start speeding along the County grapevine pretty quickly. Pulling open the door, Luka wanders to the admit desk. He needed to tell Sam. Looking around, he doesn’t see her anywhere in the vicinity. Rolling his eyes, Luka turns to the PAC system to pull up the films on a patient. He wasn’t sure how Sam was going to take the news. It was over for both of them, obviously. But Luka could admit that he had moved on rather fast. Not that it was really

moving on

but more, it was taking what he had always wanted. Sam hadn’t wanted him, so why should she be upset? Scowling, he checks the films and makes a note in the chart. She hadn’t wanted more kids, so she had no right to be pissed that he was having a baby with someone else. Luka smiles a little. Especially Abby. 
 
Glancing up, Luka sees Alex waiting in the hall. He moves into the lounge to his locker to grab the puck that he’d caught when he and Abby had gone to a Blackhawks game the week before. His biggest regret from breaking up with Sam is what it had done to his relationship with Alex. The kid had it rough already. Luka felt horrible for not spending time with him anymore, but Sam had pulled back and that meant Luka had little choice but to respect her wishes. He sighs. And he could admit that he’d had enough on his mind that he’d let things slide with Alex too.
 
Moving back into the hallway Luka calls out. “Hey! Catch!” and tosses the puck to Alex. 
 
“Cool!” Alex examines it. 
 
Luka leans against the wall next to him. “I caught it at the Boston game.”
 
“They killed us.” Alex sighs. 
 
“Yeah, that kind of year.” Luka looks down. “Haven’t seen you around much.”
 
“My mom said I was too distracting.” Alex shrugs. 
 
“Well, she wants you to study hard.” Luka smiles.
 
“Yeah, she said I was definitely going to college.”
 
Luka chuckles and shrugs. “That’s good advice.”
 
“Sounds boring. Besides, I wanna drive NASCAR.”
 
Luka grins and pushes away from the wall. “I’ll tell her you’re here.”
 
Alex holds up the puck and smiles. “Thanks Luka.”
 
Luka winks and heads off to find Sam. Turning the corner toward the cage, he’s surprised when he all but bumps into her. “Hey, Sam.”
 
“Hey.” Sam glances over at Luka, distracted. “I’m just trying to get out of here.”
 
“Ah, Alex is at the triage desk.” Luka strokes his jaw. “We chatted a little.”
 
Sam smiles indulgently. “Oh, good.” She hurries into the cage, wanting to finish up and go home. Not talk to her ex.
 
Luka follows her in. “Ah, hey. I just...I just wanted to talk to you about something?”
 
Sam starts straightening shelves, looking for what she needed to restock. Slightly exasperated when Luka leans against the wall.  What the hell did he want from her now? “Yeah?”
 
“Uh...about me and Abby?” Luka shoves his hands in his pockets. This wasn’t a comfortable situation for anybody.
 
Sam shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Luka. I know about you and Abby. Everybody knows. And I...I really hope it works out. Really. I want you to be happy.” She turns back to the shelves in dismissal. Did he really think he and Abby were being subtle? Jesus. The sexual vibes the two of them threw off were pretty hard to miss. Besides, it was just a rebound. That was obvious to Sam. He and Abby had always been friends, but she never had gotten the idea that either one of them were serious about the other.
 
“There’s uh...there’s a little more to it.” Luka bites his lip when Sam turns back to him and crosses her arms. He smiles a little while he tries to form the words. “Abby and I...Uh...we’re gonna have a baby.”
 
Sam’s eyes widen in shock. What the hell? “What?”
 
Luka smiles and nods. “A baby.”
 
“Uh, wow.” 
 
“I uh..I just didn’t want you to hear it somewhere else.” Luka shrugs, still smiling.
 
Sam starts playing with bottles again. “I appreciate that. When is she..due?” Sam’s mind is reeling, doing the math.
 
“July.”
 
“Wow.” So at least it had taken him a couple of months before he knocked someone else up. Putting on a smile, she turns to hug him awkwardly. “Congratulations.”
 
“Thanks.” Luka lets her hug him, relieved that she seemed fine with it, but wanting to flee.
 
Sam rambles on for a moment longer, asking him where the Reglan was, wanting him to just leave. She’s relieved when he finally bids her goodnight. Leaning against the wall she sighs. The biggest problem she and Luka had was his need to have more children, and her refusal. Smirking, she pushes away from the wall. Guess Abby was willing to do it. Sam frowns. Though come to think of it, that was a little surprising. Abby didn’t seem like the type to just have a baby because of a casual fling. She had told Sam about her abortion several years ago, so why was she having Luka’s baby? Turning out of the cage, she bumps into Chuny.
 
“Did you find that Reglan?” Chuny raises a brow.
 
Sam holds it up. “Right here.” She starts walking toward exam one. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
 
“Sure.” Chuny moves to the drug cabinet.
 
“How serious were Abby and Luka the first time they were together?”
 
Chuny turns back to her and snorts derisively. “Girl, you were with Luka for over a year. You never asked him?”
 
Sam shrugs. “I guess I never thought I had any reason to.”
 
Chuny smirks. “They were nuts about each other. They were together for a little over a year. It took Luka banging every single female in the hospital, amongst others, and going to Africa to get over her.” She eyes Sam. “If he ever did.”
 
Sam stares at her. She knew that she wasn’t exactly a favorite amongst the nursing staff lately, especially with the Haleh fiasco, but that shot was a little cruel. She cocks her head and sneers. “He seemed to be over her when he was living with me.”
 
Chuny shrugs. “He went back to Abby the minute the opportunity presented itself, didn’t he?” She shakes her head. “Look, I’m sorry. That was kind of cold. I just mean that Abby and Luka have always had something special between them. Even when they were with other people, we all could see it. Right now? They’re both happier than I’ve ever seen them. The fact that they’re seeing each other again wasn’t a shock to anybody, except for you, apparently.”
 
Sam lifts a brow. “Abby made it sound like it wasn’t a serious relationship.”
 
Chuny laughs. “You’ve known Abby for two years now. You haven’t figured out that she’s the queen of understatement? Besides, Luka’s the one who you should have asked.”
 
Sam sighs. “I guess.” Oddly stirred up, she turns. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.” Sam finds Alex in the hallway. “Ready to go, kiddo?” 
 
“Yeah.” He follows her toward the lounge, waving to Luka when they pass.
 
In the car, Sam smiles at Alex. “Want to grab McDonalds?”
 
Alex turns his head to stare at her. “Really? Why?”
 
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess you deserve a treat.” Sam pokes him in the ribs, making him laugh. 
 
Alex cocks his head. “You and Luka are never getting back together are you.” He says it as a statement, not a question.
 
Sam sighs. “No, Alex, we’re not.”
 
He nods. “That’s kind of a bummer.”
 
Tapping her fingers on the wheel, she decides to spell it out for him. “Listen. I’m sorry about how things happened when Luka and I broke up. I should have thought of how you felt. I know you looked at him like family.”
 
“You said we were a team. That’s not the same thing as a family.”
 
Sam sighs, a little surprised that Alex had hit the nail on the head. “Alex, Luka and I were pretending for a long time. But I’m sorry it hurt you.” She nods at the puck Alex was playing with. “Where did you get that?”
 
“Luka.” Alex slips it in his coat pocket.
 
“That was nice of him.” Shaking her head, Sam smiles. “Listen, kiddo, you need to know something else.”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“Luka’s going to have a baby.”
 
“With who?” Alex’s eyes narrow.
 
“Abby.”
 
Nodding, Alex mulls that over. “Abby’s nice, and funny. I’m happy for him.”
 
Turning into the McDonalds parking lot, Sam cocks her head at him. As the knot releases in her belly, she realizes that Luka had what he wanted and so did she. Sam smiles. “Yeah. Me too.”
 
***********************

Luka lets himself into Abby’s apartment. They didn’t talk about the fact that they each had keys to the others’ place, or that they rarely spent a night apart. He leans over the back of the couch and kisses her head. “Hi. Food, as requested.” Luka shakes the bag of Thai he’d brought over.
 
Abby turns to grin at him. “Oh, you are getting so much sex.” She rises to follow him into the kitchen when he laughs. “How was the rest of your shift? Did Jodie wake up?”
 
Luka sighs. “No change. They’re still waiting to see on the hepatic injury.”
 
“I hope she pulls through. Do you really think Vic shot her?”
 
Luka shakes his head and pulls the cartons of food from the bag, scooping it onto plates. “I don’t know. I hope not.”
 
Abby sits. “Yeah. What else?”
 
Luka smiles a little. “I told Sam about the baby.”
 
Abby nods. “Probably a good idea, since Morris knows. It would be shitty for her to find out from someone else.”
 
He nods and reaches over for her hand. “It was weird. I think she thought…” Luka shakes his head.
 
“What?” Abby cocks her head at him.
 
“I don’t know. She seemed...amused at first. Like she thought I didn’t think she knew about us. She was shocked when I told her you were pregnant though.”
 
“That’s not surprising.”
 
“I think maybe she thought we were like a, what do you call it? Rebouncing?”
 
Abby snorts. “Rebound.”
 
Luka smiles. “Yeah, that.” He sighs. “I never told her how serious we were before. And she knew I was…”
 
Abby clears her throat, not really wanting to think about his sexual adventures. “Yeah.”
 
“Anyways, I don’t know if she somehow got the impression that she was the only serious relationship I’ve had here or what. But it seemed like maybe she thought that you and I were just a fling before.”
 
Abby sighs. “When she asked me if I had dated you I told her ‘briefly’.” She shrugs when Luka smirks at her. “I barely knew her. Why would I tell her anything about us? Besides, you’re the one who should have told her. Was she mad?”
 
“I think she had a moment of ‘what the fuck?’ and then she was fine.” Luka shrugs. “She knows, and that’s the point.”
 
Abby nods. “Word will hit the grapevine soon.”
 
“Sam’s not going to tell anyone…” Luka begins.
 
“No, Sam actually knows how to be discreet, most of the time.” Abby shrugs. “Morris doesn’t though. That’s on me.”
 
Luka’s lips curve up and his eyes twinkle at her. “Does that bother you?”
 
Abby smiles a little. “I don’t know. I guess it’s still a little strange.” She shrugs and eyes him. “I’m relieved you told Sam though. I wouldn’t want her coming for me in a jealous rage, like she did to Neela.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “Sam dumped

me,

remember?” 
 
Abby snorts. “You really don’t understand women at all.”
 
Luka bites his lip. “I understand you.” He grins when her brows go up. “Mostly.” 
 
Abby smirks. “Uh huh. Anyways, work will be interesting tomorrow.” 
 
Luka shrugs and chuckles. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”
 
“Yeah. Let’s go to bed.” Abby rises and pulls him up. “I owe you sex.” She rises on her toes to kiss him.
 
He squeezes her hip. “You do.” Letting her pull him toward her bedroom, Luka smiles at her back. Grateful that he had who he had wanted all along.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I need you.” Luka smiles. “They’re kicking my ass at Pictionary.”
 
Abby takes a deep breath and smiles back, following him inside. As afraid of her

feelings

for Luka as she is, he had never made her feel anything but safe and protected. Right now, she was terrified to be home, and Luka’s offer to stay with him had been circling in her mind all day. 
 
“Ah, guys, this is Abby.” Luka shifts from foot to foot nervously. 
 
Petra lifts a brow and smirks. “Hi.”
 
Abby smirks back and glances at Luka. “Hi back.”
 
“Ah, Abby...this is Petra. And Nick and Andre.” Luka swallows. “Abby’s going to stay. Here. With me for awhile…”
 
Abby shrugs. “Yeah. Um, there’s a problem with my apartment at the moment. Luka offered me a place. I hope you don’t mind me crashing.”
 
Nick raises his beer. “Not at all. The more the merrier. You the ex?”
 
Abby smothers a grin when Luka looks panicked. “Guilty.” She decides to take pity on him. “So you needed some help with the game? You always were pathetic at Pictionary. Well, party games in general.”
 
Luka grins at her, relieved that she was choosing amusement rather than irritation that he’d told his friends about her. He runs his hand over her shoulder. “Only because you cheat.”
 
Abby smirks. “I don’t cheat, and you know it.” she pokes him in the ribs. God, she’d missed this. They were so comfortable together. Except when they weren’t. She sighs. This was probably a mistake, but…
 
Luka sits and gestures to the couch beside him. “Grab a drink if you want one. There’s Coke in there.”
 
Abby nods and grabs a beer from his refrigerator, shrugging at Luka’s surprised glance. 
 
He reads her underlying “mind your own business” perfectly. “There’s still some pizza if you want it.” 
 
Abby shakes her head. “I’m not really hungry.”
 
Luka nods, but can’t hide the look of concern that passes over his face.
 
She sighs. “I had a big lunch, and a bag of Fritos before I left work. I’m fine, Luka. Stop fretting.”
 
Luka dips his head and smiles sheepishly as he blushes. “Sorry. Can’t help it.” he mutters.
 
Abby rubs a hand over his leg and misses the knowing looks his friends shoot each other.
 
Nick clears his throat. “Okay, Abby. Let’s find out how good you are.” 
 
He really is pathetic, Abby thinks, at the drawing

and

the guessing. But he looks pretty cute as he tries to draw something, tongue caught between his teeth, gesturing as she and Nick try their damndest to guess what he was drawing. 
 
Luka rolls his eyes when the timer goes off. “It’s a turtle, guys.”
 
Abby cocks her head and snorts. “That is not a turtle.”
 
Nick narrows his eyes and wiggles his head from side to side. “I guess it kind of looks like a turtle if you do this.”
 
Luka flops down on the couch and sighs. “We suck.”
 
Abby pokes him. “No,

you

suck. Nick and I managed to get us within five. You just blew it.”
 
Luka shrugs and grins. “Oh well.”
 
Abby shakes her head and smiles at him. “I’ll never understand how someone so driven in his work can have absolutely no competitive streak.”
 
Luka just eyes her. “I’ve got a competitive streak when it comes to some things.”
 
She shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah, I guess you kind of do.”
 
Andre smirks. “On that note, game night’s over. See you next week?” He pulls Petra up with him and Nick takes the hint too.
 
Luka rises with them. “Sure. Be good, guys.”
 
Petra rises on her toes to kiss his cheek. “You too.” she murmurs something that Abby can’t hear, and then waves. “Nice meeting you Abby. I hope we see you again.”
 
Abby smiles. “Yeah. This was fun.” She rises and walks to the kitchen for a Coke. The beer just wasn’t settling right tonight. “So Petra and Andre are a thing?” Abby turns and smiles when Luka comes in. 
 
“Ah, kind of. They’re each other’s...what do you call it? Booty call?”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah. That’s what we call it.” She studies him over the rim of her Coke. “I thought maybe you two…”
 
Luka shrugs. “Nah. She’s cute, and actually really great, but it’s not like that. I never poach.”
 
Abby nods and moves to sit on the couch again. Luka grabs his own Coke and follows her. “What did she say to you just now?” To her surprise, Luka turns a brilliant shade of red. 
 
“Ah, she said she could see why I was still hung up on you.” He clears his throat and drinks. 
 
Abby shifts as her heart squeezes. Luka wasn’t still hung up on her, was he? No. Absolutely not. He couldn’t be. Because that’s the one thing that would make her crawl into his lap and let him have his way with her. She rolls her eyes. “Good thing you’re not.”
 
Luka just shrugs and changes the subject. “Since when do you drink?”
 
It’s Abby’s turn to turn red. “I have a drink now and then. Just not very often.”
 
“You never once drank while we were together. I always assumed you just didn’t like it.” Luka says carefully. He knows there’s more to it, but he doesn’t want to push her.
 
Abby shrugs. “Luka...you know I’ve had problems with alcohol. You’re not an idiot. You don’t have to dance around it. It’s under control.”
 
Luka takes her hand and squeezes. “Abby, I...I care about you. I know this has been a terrible couple of days. I just don’t want to see you make things worse.”
 
She sighs. “I won’t. It’s under control.” Abby repeats it, but she knows damn well that an alcoholic never really has it under control unless they aren’t drinking at all. She just can’t seem to help herself. She turns her head to smile at him. “I think being punched in the face warrants a few drinks.”
 
A dark look passes over Luka’s face. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “How are you doing with it? I mean...I want you to feel safe.”
 
“It’s upsetting that he’s out, and that he’s still living in my building.” Abby’s voice trembles. “I don’t want to have to move. I love that place, but…”
 
Luka glowers. “You shouldn’t have to be the one who moves. He should. Can you get a restraining order?”
 
“You know as well as I do that a piece of paper doesn’t mean much, Luka.” 
 
He lets out a hiss. “But it’s a symbol, Abby. Something tangible. And if he comes near you again, they’ll take him back to jail.”
 
Abby sighs. “I know. I’ll talk to the police. I don’t know how much they can do. I’ve already filed charges on him. Can they even give me a restraining order at this point?”
 
Luka shrugs. “I have no idea. But I would feel better if you tried.”
 
Abby quirks a smile at him. “You would, huh? Because we all know it’s all about you.”
 
Luka grins at her attempt to lighten the mood. “Of course it is.” He lifts a hand as if to run it over her hair like he used to, drops it. “Are you tired?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Not really. I haven’t been sleeping very well, but I’m pretty wound up.”
 
“Want to watch a movie? I’ll make popcorn.” Luka gives her that earnest look that she loves, and never could resist.
 
“Sure. As long as it’s not one of those depressing Croatian films.”
 
Luka rises and gives her an exasperated look. “They’re not depressing.”
 
“They are when you can’t understand what they’re saying. And there aren’t any subtitles.”
 
“I don’t need subtitles.” Luka smirks as he pours popcorn into his maker.
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Well, since I don’t speak Croatian, except for the couple of curse words I picked up from you, I need them. Can we just watch something fun?”
 
Luka turns and leans on the counter while the popcorn pops, and smiles at her. “Sure. You know where the DVD’s are. Pick something.”
 
She settles on

Caddyshack,

figuring that since she’s seen it a million times, she won’t have to pay that close of attention to it. Besides, sue her, she loves that movie. 
 
Luka obviously does too when he gives her his boyish grin over her choice. “That works.” He sets the popcorn down. “Want another Coke?”
 
Abby smiles. “Maybe just water? I think I’m going to change into my PJ’s. Ah...can I borrow a pillow and blanket?”
 
Luka clears his throat. “Want to take the bed? I don’t have to be in it.” He teases her.
 
She snorts. “That’s a generous offer, whether you’re in or out.” Abby laughs when he wiggles his brows. “But no, I think I’ll fit on the couch better than you will. Thanks though.”
 
Luka nods. “Go ahead and change. I’ll get you a pillow and blanket.” He sighs as he watches her nod and grab her bag to take to the bathroom. Petra was right. He was still hung up on her, and he was pretty sure he always would be. Luka shakes his head as he goes to the closet to find bedding. It simultaneously pissed him off and made him...happy. He was grateful to know he could feel this much for someone again. 
 
Abby comes back down in flannel pants and an old sweatshirt. Studying Luka’s back as he dug in the closet, she sighs. She hadn’t been this...connected...to anyone in a really long time. Luka would

always

be at the top of her list of people she felt safe and comfortable with. Did she still have feelings for him? If she were honest with herself, yes. She still had some pretty deep feelings. But they just didn’t work as a couple, regardless of what she wanted with him. Friendship was the better bet. She smiles when he turns, holding a pillow and blanket. “Thanks. Movie time?”
 
Luka grins. “I think I’m going to change too. Get the movie set up, will you? I’ll be right back down.”
 
Abby sighs, watching him go, and setting the DVD in the player. Grateful that she had someone to go to when she needed him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka yawns as he fills his coffee from the machine at the table at the back of the conference room. He had a few minutes before he had to meet Abby for breakfast. He smirks a little, thinking there was no way he could have gotten her out of bed to attend an early session. Luka turns, and nearly runs into another attendee, reaching for the coffee pot as well. “Oh, sorry.”
 
The man laughs. “No problem. I didn’t have a chance for any before the session started. My wife didn’t want to get up.” He shrugs and sips. “At least she can’t say I didn’t try.”
 
Luka grins. “It’s more than I can say. I didn’t even bother to try with mine.” He holds out a hand. “Luka Kovač.”
 
A slow smirk appears along with an amused twinkle in the dark eyes when he shakes. “Nice to meet you, Luka. I believe we have a mutual acquaintance.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Sorry?”
 
“I’m Doug Ross. I believe you know my wife.”
 
Luka has a moment of panic, wondering if the man’s wife was someone he had messed around with in his wild phase. Until he hears the familiar voice and turns slowly.
 
Carol stops dead before she reaches them, and her eyes widen in shock. “

Luka?

” She gives a delighted laugh and hurries forward, throwing her arms around him in a hug. She rises on her toes to kiss his cheek. “What are you doing here?”
 
Doug smirks. “Imagine that. An ER doctor at an emergency medicine conference. I’m surprised we’ve never run into him before, actually.”
 
Carol laughs and leans into his kiss. “Hi. I take it you two met.”
 
Luka shakes his head, trying to clear the stunned surprise. “Ah, yeah. It’s good to see you.”
 
“Have you had breakfast? I’m starving.” She squeezes Doug’s hand. “I’d love to catch up.”
 
“No. I mean, no, I haven’t had breakfast.” Luka sighs, wondering how Abby would feel about it. “I’m actually meeting my wife in a few minutes.”
 
Carol starts walking toward the doors. “You got married? That’s great.” She elbows Luka. “I told you you’d find someone.”
 
Luka smiles softly. “Yeah, ah. I actually already knew her when you told me that.”
 
“Oh? Anyone I know?” Carol chatters on. “Sorry. I’m getting ahead of things. Can you do breakfast?”
 
Luka clears his throat and nods when he sees Abby crossing the hotel lobby. She spots him and smiles when he strides forward and leans down to kiss her. “We have breakfast companions.” he murmurs, squeezing her hand.
 
“What? Who?” Abby peeks around Luka’s shoulder and spots the couple. It takes her a second to place the woman. “Is that...Is that Carol Hathaway?”
 
“Yeah. Is this okay? I’ll get us out of it if you don’t want to.” Luka looks down at her a little sheepishly.
 
Abby shrugs. “Sure. Should be fun.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes a little and draws her over to where Carol and Doug are waiting. “Behave yourself.” he whispers before smiling. “Carol, do you remember Abby?”
 
Carol’s eyes widen a little and then narrow warily. “Sure. This is Doug, my husband.”
 
Abby smiles at the guy with Carol, watching the byplay with an amused expression. “Hi. Your reputation precedes you.”
 
Luka pinches her when Doug lifts a brow. “Pardon?”
 
Abby laughs. “We both worked in the ER at County. It was a good reputation. Mostly.”
 
Doug smiles at her. “That’s good to hear. Should we eat?”
 
Carol nods and starts walking toward the restaurant. “So when did this happen?”
 
Luka smiles. “Not long after you left, actually. We were off and on for a couple of years. We got married a few years ago.”
 
Abby slides into the booth the host leads them to and smirks. “He finally wore me down.”
 
Luka grins. “She’s stubborn.” He takes Abby’s hand under the table and smiles. “How are the girls?”
 
Doug laughs. “Twin ten year olds? Take a guess.”
 
“Wow. They’re ten already?” Abby smiles at Carol. “I’d love to see pictures.”
 
Carol glances at Doug. “Abby was the nurse who delivered them.”
 
Doug raises a brow. “Really? That’s pretty cool. Thanks.” He lifts his coffee mug in a toast. 
 
Abby smirks. “You’re welcome.”
 
Carol shrugs. “Are you two still at County?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “No. We’ve been in Boston for the past few years. Abby’s an attending at Mass Gen. I’m at BM.”
 
“I thought you were a nurse?” Doug smiles.
 
“I defected to the dark side. I actually was on my ER rotation when Carol left Chicago.” Abby can’t place it, but something about Carol’s attitude was starting to irritate her.
 
“Oh, right.” Carol shakes her head. “I forgot about that.” she glances at Luka. “Weren’t you married?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “I was finalizing my divorce. I’m sure I mentioned it.” she says sweetly. She kicks Luka under the table when he pinches her again.
 
Luka sighs. “She was single when we started going out, I promise.”
 
Carol’s eyes widen. “I didn’t mean to imply...sorry.” She smiles sweetly at Abby. “Did you stick with OB?”
 
Abby shakes her head. “No. I got sucked into the ER vortex. In fact, I moved down there from OB as a nurse. They were short handed.” She smiles back, just as sweetly.
 
Luka groans and glances at Doug, who is still watching with an amused expression. “How’s Seattle?”
 
Doug shrugs. “Great. We love it there, and Kate and Tess couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. They’re in Chicago with Carol’s mom right now. Oh, hey. We had an emissary from County do an organ transfer with us last year. A hot blonde nurse  and a really cute Indian doctor. Ring any bells?”
 
Abby smiles wide. “Sam and Neela.”
 
Doug nods. “That’s right. They mentioned your name, come to think of it.” He grins at Luka. “Not yours.”
 
Abby snorts while Luka shrugs. “They hate me.”
 
Carol looks at him, wide-eyed. “No they don’t.”
 
Abby shakes her head and laughs when the food is served. “Neela is one of my closest friends, and he used to date Sam. They definitely don’t hate him.”
 
Carol looks suspicious. “I thought you two…”
 
Luka shifts uncomfortably. “It’s a long, complicated story. Sam was during one of our ‘off’ times. After she dated Carter.” He lifts a brow at his wife.
 
Doug snickers. “You dated Carter? Sorry about that.”
 
Abby smirks. “Me too. We should have stayed friends. Which we all have, actually.” 
 
Carol smiles genuinely. “How is he?”
 
“Okay. Married and living in Paris, but back and forth between there and Chicago. Sometimes Africa.”
 
Doug shakes his head. “That kid always wanted to save the world.”
 
Luka smiles. “He’s doing his best.”
 
Abby pulls her phone out of her pocket when it signals a text. She frowns, and slides out of the booth. “It’s Ted. I need to call him.”
 
Luka nods, worry in his eyes. “Okay.”
 
Carol lifts a brow. “Ted?”
 
“Our son’s friend’s father. He’s staying with them this weekend.” Luka glances over in concern to where Abby is pacing near the restaurant entrance. 
 
“Oh, Luka. You have a son?” Carol gives him a soft smile, reminding him of why he liked her in the first place.
 
“Yeah. Joe. He’s almost four.” He lifts his hip to drag out his wallet, pulling out the picture of Abby and Joe that he carried.
 
Carol takes it and studies it. “He looks like you.” She glances up. “I’m so happy for you.”
 
Luka smiles. “Thanks.” He glances up when Abby returns. “Everything Okay?”
 
“Yeah. Joe fell and cut his knee. He wanted to let me know.”
 
Luka’s lips twitch. “Do we have to go home now?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Shut up. I’ve gotten better about that.”
 
Carol laughs. “I used to take the girls in for every tiny sniffle. It drove Doug crazy.”
 
Abby smirks. “I once snuck Joe into County for a full workup. Luka caught me.”
 
He leans down and kisses her temple. “I let it play out, though.”
 
Abby smiles. “Yeah, you did.”
 
Carol watches them closely, and sees what she was hoping to see. “Well it sounds like life turned out pretty well for the two of you.”
 
Luka grins at her. “Yeah. It did.”

*****************************************

Luka nudges Abby when they get on the elevator to go back to their room. They had a couple of hours before the next session. “You okay? I’m sorry, I kind of ambushed you.”
 
Abby shrugs. “It was fine. I still think she’s a little snotty, but they’re okay. Doug seems nice. Kind of aloof.”
 
Luka nods. “I think he just didn’t really know what to say any more than I did. They make each other happy.”
 
Abby nods a little. “Is that important to you? That she’s happy?”
 
Luka’s hand hovers over the lock on the door. “What?”
 
Abby shrugs. “Never mind.”
 
Luka unlocks the door and pulls her inside. Spinning her around, he pushes her back against the door and crushes his mouth to hers. “Don’t be stupid.” he murmurs when he lets her breathe again.
 
Abby pushes away from the door and strides toward the living area of the suite. “Don’t call me stupid. I know you never got closure with her, and…”
 
Luka stares at her. “I didn’t call you stupid. I said not to

be

stupid. You can’t be jealous.”
 
Abby shrugs and sighs. “It’s not exactly jealousy. It’s weird. I can’t describe it.”
 
Luka shakes his head and walks over to draw her down to sit on the side of the bed with him. “I didn’t need closure with her. I didn’t love her, Abby.”
 
“I know that, but..”
 
“I always knew there was something holding her back, and…” Luka runs his hand through his hair. “I think that’s why I liked spending time with her. I wasn’t ready for anything. Like that.” He wraps his arm around her. “Abby, she was my first friend in Chicago. The first person I really connected with there.”
 
Abby nods and tips her head to his shoulder. “I know.”
 
Luka tilts her chin up to kiss her softly. “I’m grateful that getting to know her made me rethink my plans to leave again. That brought me to you.”
 
Abby sighs. “You already knew me.”
 
“Yeah. And I thought you were adorably hot.” He squeezes her when she snickers at that. “But I thought you were married.”
 
Abby narrows her eyes. “Did Carol tell you I was married?”
 
Luka licks his lips. “Ah..”
 
Abby pulls back and pokes him. “She

did

.” 
 
He shrugs. “She might have been the one to mention it. But the point is, Abby, that once I knew you were single, I never gave Carol another thought.”
 
She lifts a brow at him. “Really?”
 
Luka chuckles. “Really. I expected to see her at Mark’s funeral, but even then, it wasn’t anything romantic. I didn’t even meet Doug. Just said hello to her in passing.”
 
Abby shrugs. “I heard they were there. I didn’t notice.”
 
Luka smirks. “They kind of snuck in and out, I heard. Anyways, my point is, even at that point, when we weren’t together anymore, I never really thought of her. It’s a non-issue. I’m glad she’s happy, but she has nothing to do with me or us. Christ, we haven’t seen her in almost ten years. We’ve managed to stay friends with the people from County that we care about, even being hundreds of miles away. She never bothered. So what would be the point of needing closure?”
 
Abby sighs. “You’re right. I just always wondered what your feelings were about how she left. If you ever wondered ‘what if?’ or anything.”
 
Luka tilts her head up to kiss her. “I’ve never wondered about it.” The corner of his mouth quirks up. “I was too busy wondering ‘what if?’ about someone else.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “You got your answer to that one.” She smiles at him. “Eventually.”
 
Luka pushes her back on the bed and rolls to cover her. He grins down at her when she laughs. “Exactly.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“You do realize that’s going to cost a fortune.” Abby gives Luka an amused glance while he stares at her with the phone in his hand.
 
Luka shrugs. “Ten is a big deal.”
 
She shakes her head. “It’s a huge deal, yeah. Why don’t the two of you go by yourselves? That will cut down the cost.”
 
Luka sighs. “Abby, how many times are you going to ever have this opportunity again?” He reaches over to stroke her cheek. “Your favorite team playing in the playoffs around the same time as your son’s tenth birthday? You’ll regret it if you don’t come.”
 
Abby smiles a little. “

Your

favorite team. Basketball isn’t my favorite sport, you know.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. But come on.” He does the bouncing shrug with his shoulders that Abby had always found adorable, and he usually pulled out when he was excited about something and wanted to convince her to join in. “The Bulls are playing in the playoffs

in Boston.”

Abby gives in and shakes her head with a little smile. “Okay. You’re right. Go ahead and call, before they sell out.” Luka grins and dials while Abby grabs their drinks to settle on the couch.
 
She tips her head to his shoulder when he comes in and sits down next to her. “Did you get them?”
 
“Floor seats, mid-court.” Luka pulls back and laughs when her jaw drops. “I’m kidding. We won’t have to re-mortgage the house or anything.”
 
Abby shakes her head at him. “Funny.” She bites her lip. “It’s still a lot of money, Luka. I know what playoff tickets cost, even for the nosebleed seats.”
 
“What does that mean, exactly?”
 
“It means….” She pokes him when she sees his smirk. “Don’t change the subject.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Abby, we’re hardly paupers. It will be fine.”
 
“I know.” She turns her face up to his for a kiss. “Joe’s going to love it.”
 
“That’s the idea.” Luka chuckles softly. “I can’t believe he’s going to be ten.

“I know. It’s crazy. He looks so much like you.” Abby cocks her head and smiles at him. “He’ll be beating the girls off with a stick.”
 
Luka nods. “I was hoping he would look like you. He has your eyes.” He squeezes her hand. “I do love your eyes.”
 
“Why were you hoping he looked like me? Have you

seen

you?” Abby grins at him.
 
Luka shakes his head a little. “Because I love you.”
 
“But…”
 
Luka sighs and shifts a little uncomfortably. “I just...little boys should look like their mothers. That’s all.”
 
Abby closes her eyes. Marko. She slides her hand free and squeezes his thigh. Talking about his other kids was always hard, but it was obvious he needed it. “Marko looked like Danijela, didn’t he.”
 
“Yeah.” Luka murmurs and slides his arm around her to pull her closer. He smiles a little. “It drove her crazy that Jasna looked so much like me. After all those hours of labor…”
 
Abby giggles. “I can’t blame her there. Not that I…”
 
Luka turns his face to press his lips to her forehead. “What you went through was just as bad. Worse, actually.” He chuckles when Abby lifts a brow. “Not that I would have any idea other than being panicked both times.”
 
Abby squeezes his forearm. “Exactly. But Marko looked like her?”
 
“Mmm. Just like her. But I wonder how much they would have changed if…”
 
“If they had the chance to get older.” Abby murmurs.
 
Luka shakes his head. “It was so interesting to watch how much Joe changed in the first few years. When he was two, he looked so much like you, and I thought…”
 
Abby sighs. “I’m sorry.”
 
Luka pulls back to stare at her. “For

what

? Abby, I treasure all of Joe’s milestones, and everything about them, thinking about….”
 
She leans in to kiss him. “I know.” Abby strokes his face. “I know that, Luka. That isn’t what I meant. I wish you could see all of your kids grow up, that’s all.”
 
Luka smiles sadly. “That’s not possible, but thanks for the thought.” 
 
Abby snuggles closer to him. “Luka…”
 
“No, really. I’m okay.” He kisses the top of her head. “I have everything I need and almost everything I’ve always wanted with you.”  Luka smirks. “I hope he’s not like either of us when it comes to talking.”
 
Abby snorts. “He’s a smartass with a sarcastic streak.” She tilts her head up, eyes twinkling at him. “He gets that from you.”
 
Luka pinches her. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
 
Abby smiles. “I like to think that we set a pretty good example for him these days.”
 
“Much better than we used to, yeah.” Luka snickers. “It’s

nice.”

She laughs and pokes him in the belly. “Shut up. You will never let that go. Your response wasn’t exactly a declaration of love.”
 
Luka grabs her hand and kisses her fingers. “It should have been.”
 
Abby smiles. “Well, at least we didn’t waste much time after that.” She pats his leg. 
 
“No, we didn’t. You jumped me in my car.” He laughs when she rolls her eyes. “Or maybe it was the other way around. The details are hazy.”
 
She smirks. “I think we both figured out we were being stupid. It was a mutual jumping.”
 
Luka sighs happily. “You’re right.” He turns his head to grin at her. “And now, over ten years later, here we are. Still jumping each other.”
 
Abby squeezes his hand again. “With a ten year old who hopefully won’t be jumping girls anytime soon.”
 
Luka shakes his head and smiles. “I have a feeling we’ll be dealing with broken hearts and teenage drama before we know it.”
 
She smiles. “I know.” Abby cups his cheek. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you what a great dad you are to Joe.”
 
Luka smiles softly. “You’re a great mom.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “I do my best. But what I mean is, Luka, I never really had experience with how a good father can be in a child’s life. You screw up plenty, but you’re always there. I’ve never doubted, not once, that you would be there for Joe. That’s a pretty amazing thing.” She smiles when he shakes his head. “Ever since he was little, my favorite thing is seeing the two of you together. The bond you have is so special. I could spend hours watching you guys.” 
 
Luka clears his throat and grips her hand, impossibly moved. “I’m his father, Abby. There’s no other way to be.”
 
Abby stares at him. This man. This man who was messy and screwed up, goofy and broody and really annoying half the time. He just had absolutely no concept of not being there for his child, or for her for that matter. And that made him absolutely perfect. She leans forward and takes his lips in a soft kiss. “I love you so much. What would I do without you?”
 
Luka strokes her cheek and smiles. “You’ll never have to find out.”
 
Abby lifts her hand to grip his wrist. “I know, and I can’t believe I know that.” She sighs when Luka scrunches up his face in confusion. “What I mean is, in my whole life, you’re the only man, hell...the only

person...

who’s been able to convince me that forever with somebody is a real thing. I never believed it before. I never had any reason to.” She shakes her head. “Now I do. That’s all.”
 
Luka draws her over into his arms. Kissing the top of her head, he sighs. “I’ve always believed in it. But after Danijela and the kids...I never thought I would find it again.” He tightens his grip on her. “Then, there you were. There you were and I found hope again. I love you and Joe more than anything. You’re my home, Abby. Forever.”
 
Abby smirks. “You’re trying to get lucky, aren’t you.”
 
Luka chuckles. “Always. But I’m serious.” He tips her face up to kiss her. 
 
Abby sighs happily. “I know. That makes

me

a very lucky woman.” She squeezes his hand. “Want to give Joe the news in the morning?”
 
Luka lifts a brow. “Are you saying I can’t keep a secret?”
 
Abby snorts. “The only secret you’ve ever been able to keep was our wedding. And you only got away with that because I was distracted.”
 
Luka trails the back of his hand along her shoulder. “I’m good at distracting you…”
 
Abby grins and shakes her head. “Yeah. But Joe’s not as willfully distactable as I am.”
 
Luka snorts and kisses her nose. “No, he’s definitely not.”

**************************************
 
Abby yawns when Luka hands her a cup of coffee as she walks into the kitchen. “Thanks.” She drains half the cup in one gulp.
 
“Geez, mom. You might as well hook up an IV.” Joe rolls his eyes.
 
Abby lifts a brow at him. “What do you know?” She sits with him at the table. “Be nice, or we won’t hit the ice cream shop after practice.”
 
Joe shrugs. “Okay. Like you would give up ice cream.”
 
Luka laughs and pokes his son in the shoulder. “Be nice to your mother, or you won’t get your birthday present.”
 
“My birthday isn’t for another month. I’m going to be ten, you know.”
 
“Yes, a fact you remind us of daily.” Abby smirks.
 
Luka smiles. “Double digits is a big deal.” He sets a plate in front of Abby and sits with his own. “But you’re getting one of your presents early.”
 
“I am?” Joe perks up excitedly. “Why?”
 
Abby takes a bite of her waffle. “Well, we can’t control the NBA playoff schedule, so we kind of have to do what they want us to.”
 
Joe looks confused. “Huh?”
 
Luka grins at his son. “Rumor has it the Bulls are playing the Celtics in the first round.”
 
“Yeah, I know.” Joe sighs dramatically. “We’re going to get our butts kicked.”
 
Abby snickers. “Probably. But we’re going to witness the butt kicking in person.”
 
Joe’s head snaps around to stare between his mother and father. “We’re going to a game? Really?” He jumps up and does a booty-shaking dance when Luka nods at him, making his parents laugh. “That’s...wow. Thanks, mom.” Joe throws his arms around his mother.
 
She squeezes his shoulders. “You’re welcome, but you’d better give your dad the credit. It was his idea.”
 
Joe races over to hug Luka in turn. “Thanks, Dad. Thanks. Oh, wow. Can I call Kenny and tell him? Man, he’s going to be so jealous!”
 
Luka shakes his head and laughs. “Sure.” He smiles at Abby when Joe races out. “I guess he liked it.”
 
“You think?” Abby leans over to ruffle his hair. “Nice job, tata.”
 
Luka smiles and shakes his head. “He hasn’t called me that in awhile.”
 
“He’s too cool for it now. But that’s how he thinks of you.”
 
Luka takes her hand and brings it to his lips. “I hope so.” He sighs. “Finish your breakfast. We have a big day of football practice and general insanity.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “Those are the kind of days I like best.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby leans on the admit desk and glances around. “Sam, have you seen Luka?”
 
Sam drops a chart in the rack and turns. “I saw him heading into the chapel about twenty minutes ago.”
 
Abby frowns. “What were you doing over there?” 
 
Sam shrugs. “I brought a patient to oncology. Anyways, I caught a glimpse of Luka when I walked past.”
 
Abby nods and makes a couple of notes on her chart. Her heart clutches as she realizes the date and what Luka might be doing. “Ah, could you tell Pratt I have something to do? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
 
Sam studies her quietly. “Sure.”
 
Abby hurries for the elevator, cursing herself for not remembering what day it is. As usual, Luka hadn’t mentioned it that morning. They’d gone about their normal routine, and he’d been fine. Happy, even. Now she was cursing

him

for not saying anything. She only knew the date because the first time they were together, he had gotten drunk and broken down. Telling her how hard it was for him to be happy. Ever since then, even when they weren’t together, she had marked the date herself. Hoping Luka knew she was there for him if he needed her.
 
Abby sighs and pulls open the door to the chapel. This year, she was so wrapped up in having Joe home, and the sweet (and weird) domestic routine they had gotten themselves into, that the importance of the date didn’t even register. Smiling sadly, she lays her hand on Luka’s shoulder when she reaches him in the front pew. 
 
Luka reaches up and squeezes her hand, looking up at her with sorrow in his eyes. “Hi. How did you know I was here?”
 
Abby sighs and sits beside him, pulling his hand up to her lips. “Sam saw you head in here. I’m sorry I didn’t remember the date. Why didn’t you say something? I would have come with you.”
 
Luka turns and cups her cheek, kissing her softly and resting his forehead on hers. “It’s okay. I…” he shakes his head. “I didn’t want to put it on you.”
 
Abby pulls back and stares at him. “Luka, it’s on me no matter what. I love you, and I want to be there for you.”
 
He sighs and leans back, closing his eyes. “It’s been fifteen years, Abby. It’s not as hard anymore, and now, with you and Joe, it’s…”
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder. “Does it make it easier or harder?”
 
Luka lets out a short laugh. “I don’t know. I really don’t. Sometimes I still feel guilty for being so happy when they’re gone.”
 
Abby brings her hand up and strokes the hair back from his forehead. “I know. I’m sorry.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. I love you, and I don’t regret that. I never have.” He runs his hand down her shoulder. “I think it’s hitting me harder this year because….”
 
“Because you’re a father again.” Abby finishes for him.
 
Luka nods. “I’m so happy to have Joe home, and as healthy as he can be. It’s just a little bit harder because I wish he could know his brother and sister. Jasna would have been twenty this year.” he murmurs.
 
Abby smiles. “I know that too.”
 
“She was an amazing big sister.” He sighs. “It’s just hard, sometimes, trying not to weigh what we have against what I lost. I can separate it, usually.” Luka turns and strokes her jaw. “It’s just days like today when it’s really hard.”
 
Abby swallows over the lump in her throat. “I know it.” 
 
Luka sighs and squeezes her hand. “Well. We should get back.” He rises and pulls her up with him. “Thanks for being here.”
 
Abby leans against him for a moment, stroking her hands over his shoulders. “We can talk more tonight, okay?”
 
Luka tips his head down to kiss her softly. “Maybe. I love you.”
 
Sam catches them on the way past admit. “Luka, Ray needs you in curtain three.” She frowns when he nods and squeezes Abby’s hand before striding away. “Is he okay?”
 
“It’s September twenty-eighth.” Abby shakes her head when Sam stares at her blankly. “It’s just a hard day for him, that’s all.” 
 
“Oh, well, Pratt was looking for you.” Sam still looks confused. 
 
Abby shakes her head a little and walks away, not at all surprised that Sam doesn’t know the significance of the date. Luka didn’t talk about it, usually, and she had a feeling he didn’t share much with Sam at all, considering Sam had asked

her

about his kids at one point. Which had annoyed her at the time, but hadn’t surprised her. 
 
She finds Pratt in exam two, setting up for a shoulder reduction. He grins at her. “Hey, I need counter traction. Could you give me a hand here? This one’s tricky. It’s posterior.”
 
Abby moves to the other side of the bed and takes the strap from him, wrapping it around the patient’s chest. “Ready.”
 
Pratt grips the humerus and pulls, feeling the telltale pop when it moves back into place. “Nice.” He smiles at the patient. “Feel better?”
 
“Yeah, thanks.”
 
“Sure. We’ll get you an x-Ray in a few minutes, just hang tight.” He takes the chart from Abby and makes a note. “Kovač okay?”
 
Abby’s brows draw together and she cocks her head. “Why do you ask?”
 
“Because he’s been a little off today, and then he disappeared. Then you did.” Pratt shrugs. “Basic deduction, Abby.” 
 
Abby smiles. “You’re perceptive, Pratt, I hate that about you.” She shakes her head when he just cocks a brow at her. “He’s okay. It’s just a hard day for him, that’s all.”
 
“Listen, we can handle things if the two of you want to…”
 
Abby snorts. “Like I could drag him out even if I tried.” She shakes her head. “No, he needs to be here. But thanks for the offer.”
 
Abby heads back out to the desk, catching a glimpse of Luka as he heads into a trauma. He smiles softly and winks at her. Abby gives a little wave and moves to the lounge to call the nanny.

*****************************

Luka takes Abby’s hand as they walk to the L. He gives it a squeeze and smiles down at her. “Thanks for being there today.”
 
Abby stops and tugs his hand, bringing his mouth down to hers for a kiss. “Part of the deal. Ah, Marnie is going to meet us at the Pier with Joe if that’s okay.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows. “Abby…”
 
Abby gazes up at him. “I know you need to remember them today. I

want

you to. But I also think you need to…”
 
Luka silences her with a kiss. “Thank you.” He leans his forehead on hers. “That is

exactly

what I need.”
 
An hour later, Luka slips an arm around Abby’s waist, leaning down to lick her ice cream cone. “You’re dripping.” 
 
Abby slides her gaze up to him, adjusting her grip on Joe’s stroller. “You know you’ll end up getting half. Just be patient.”
 
He chuckles and presses his lips to her hair. “Let’s sit for a few minutes.”
 
Abby nods and slides onto one of the benches by the water. “It’s a beautiful night.”
 
Luka sighs and gazes out at Lake Michigan. “It is. You know, before I moved here, I had no idea how big the Great Lakes actually are. Almost like a sea.”
 
Abby nods and licks her ice cream again. “One of these days, I’ll take you home to Minnesota and show you Lake Superior. It’s pretty mind blowing.”
 
Luka smiles. “Really?”
 
“Yeah. Especially in the winter. If you don’t mind freezing your ass off.”
 
“We live in Chicago.” He smirks at her.
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah. It’s not even close.”
 
Luka leans over and adjusts Joe’s blanket when he fusses a little. “Seriously?”
 
Abby leans her head on his shoulder and hands him the rest of her cone. “Seriously. Us northerners are made of really stern stuff.”
 
Luka bites into the ice cream, making Abby wince. “What?”
 
She shakes her head. “Nothing. I just don’t know how you can bite into ice cream like that.”
 
He wiggles his brows at her. “Stern stuff, huh?”
 
Abby squeezes his hand. “Shut up.” She hesitates a little. “Ah, you’re feeling okay?”
 
Luka nods. “Yeah. I’m glad you wanted to do this.” He turns his face to brush his lips over her forehead. “You know me too well.”
 
Abby shrugs. “A whole bunch of years of trying to figure you out will do that.”
 
Luka chuckles. “Same goes.” He dumps the nearly melted cone in the trash bin beside the bench. “But what I mean is, you knew I had to mourn for awhile, and then I needed you and Joe.” He dips his head to kiss her softly. “Thank you.”
 
“You’re welcome.” Abby sighs. “You’re not as good at hiding it as you think. Pratt was worried about you today, too.”
 
Luka nods. “Yeah. He was a little, how do you say it? Touchy with me.”
 
Abby giggles. “I know what you mean, even if that’s not how you say it.”
 
Luka lifts a brow. “Your ability to translate Luka-ese is amazing.”
 
Abby pulls back and laughs. “Luka-ese, huh? Is that what we’re calling it now?”
 
He shrugs. “Sure. It’s not any language that can be translated otherwise.”
 
Abby leans forward to press her lips to his forehead. “You’re right, and I love that about you.” She leans in to take his mouth again. “I love everything about you.”
 
Luka smiles softly and swallows over the lump in his throat. “Same goes.” He strokes her hair. “I’m so happy we found each other, Abby. I never knew I could be this happy again. I think…”
 
Abby squeezes his fingers and looks into his eyes. 
 
“No, I

know,

they would be happy for me. Danielja and the kids. They are happy for me.” He shakes his head at how stilted his words are. “I mean…”
 
Abby smiles and gathers him in close. “I know they’re happy for you too.” She presses her lips to the top of his head. “Let’s go home.”
 
Nodding, Luka rises and pulls her up with him. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“You’re a good nurse, Abby. But you could be a

great

doctor. You just need a little confidence.”

Luka smiles a little while he sits back from finishing the notes on Walter’s charts. Abby had been so out of sorts that night. So much happening, and everyone wanting her for a hundred different things. Including himself. He hadn’t been able to admit it, but he had wanted her with him for every patient, and

not

for her nursing skills, which were stellar, but for her company.
 
Frowning, he shakes his head a little. That hadn’t changed one bit. Whatever else had changed between them, that much hadn’t. Whenever he looked at her, he still felt that same spark of hope and attraction that had drawn him to her in the first place. That moment when she had leaned in and kissed him was forever cemented in his mind as the separation between his old life and his new one. The life he wanted now. The life he had with Abby and their son, if only he could stop being so stubborn. That kiss had put them on a track to be exactly where they were now. For better or for worse. They loved each other, they always had. 
 
The feel of Abby’s lips on his for the first time had given him hope. He remembered thinking how she seemed full of it, and how much he desperately wanted someone who could fill that void in his life. He had been so alone for so long, and nothing he did had made a difference. He had been living, but not really alive. But then, there was Abby. 
 
Narrowing his eyes, Luka tries to finish the discharge papers for the file. At the moment, he felt like he was standing at a crossroads on those tracks. The biggest one of his life, and that was saying something. Divorce wasn’t an option. He knew that much. But how were they going to fix what was broken? Get past the mistakes they both had made?

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

Luka chuckles mirthlessly. If that wasn’t a metaphor for their entire relationship, he didn’t know what was. Furrowing his brow as a realization hits him, he sits back, playing with his pen. It

was

a metaphor for them, but not in a bad way. They had been through so much together, whether they were a couple or not. They had

always

had each other’s backs in a way that made him feel like he deserved her love and friendship. They cared about each other, and they always found each other. Everything they had was built on a foundation that was constantly shifting, not in a dangerous or destructive way, but in a way that meant they were always moving and growing. Smiling a little as Walter’s words return to him, he shakes his head. Like they were rowing a boat together. 
 
Did he really think that because they got married, things would stop growing and changing? That instead of a boat, they were just locked in place? Life didn’t work that way.

Marriage

didn’t work that way. He’d apparently needed a kick in the ass to remind him of that. 
 
Smirking a little, he realizes that sometimes, it felt like their boat was filling with water and sinking. But...they’d always managed to bail it out before, hadn’t they? What made this time any different? Luka scowls as Moretti’s words come back to him, unbidden. “

Look, she loves you. Anyone can see that.”

Stupid fucker, Luka has to tamp down the rage that boils up inside him. If he could see how much Abby loved Luka, why did he put his hands on her? Because he was a piece of shit who took advantage of a woman in her weakest, most desperate moment. Luka didn’t doubt Abby’s love, and she was trying so hard to make amends and fix things. Luka sighs. And he was blocking her with his stubborn self-righteousness. That was going to stop today. 
 
Gathering the charts, Luka rises and walks into the director’s office. “I’ve got Walter’s charts. I still need to finish a few things, but….I need to take an hour.”
 
The director shrugs. “Sure. You okay?”
 
Luka smiles a little. “I think I will be. I guess we’ll see.”

****************************************

“Do you know that I love you more than I could

ever

explain?”

Abby gasps a little and feels tears sting the back of her eyes when Luka takes her face in his hands and lays his mouth over hers. It felt like so

long

since he’d kissed her this way, the flood of relief inside her had her gripping his wrists and returning the kiss with all of the love and devotion in her heart, body and soul.
 
Luka had come into the break room, with that pensive look on his face, and Abby had been absolutely

sure

that this was it, he was done. He was filing for divorce and leaving her, and she had felt like she was going to shatter into a million pieces.
 
“Hi. Can we go for a walk?” Luka looks down, studying her shoes. 
 
Sighing a little, Abby nods. “Sure.”
 
As they walked toward the river, he’d been quiet, and Abby hadn’t been sure what to say or how to say it. Janet had reminded her a million times that she couldn’t push him. He had to make the decision to forgive her and accept her amends on his own, one way or another. But it was so

hard

when he was walking so close beside her. The tension in his shoulders was obvious, until he started talking. Hesitant at first, but then stronger. More sure. Abby felt a spark of hope as he spoke of their first kiss, and wondering if they had somehow become different people. That spark grew into a warm glow as he voiced his desire to work on things together and get past the mistakes. 
 
And now Luka was kissing her again. Kissing her in that way that tells her how much he loves her. She is

who he wants.

If he wanted to get Joe and take off for parts unknown, then that’s what they were going to do, because Luka and their son were Abby’s home. She would follow them anywhere. 
 
When Luka pulls back from the kiss to look in her eyes, Abby smiles at him through her tears.

“Let’s get out of here.”

*************************************

Luka sighs and presses his lips to her forehead, leaning his head on hers, he smiles. “I love you.”
 
Abby’s heart swells even further. “I love you too.”
 
“I’m sorry I…”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Don’t. Don’t apologize right now. All I needed to know is that you still love me, and you want us to be together.”
 
Luka sighs and smiles a little, drawing her over to sit on the bench. “Of course I do. You…” he looks out at the river, shaking his head. “You’re my wife, Abby. My family. My heart. I need you. I need

us.

”
 
Abby nods and squeezes his hand. “Me too.” She sighs. “I tried not to let myself need you, for the longest time.” She glances up through her lashes at him. “It didn’t work out so well.”
 
Chuckling, Luka wraps his arm around her and kisses the top of her head. “It’s scary. Needing and loving somebody so much.”
 
Abby shakes her head and laughs a little. “I’m sorry I let my fears get in the way of…”
 
Luka tips her head up. “Hey. You told me not to apologize, I don’t want you to either. We’re going to move forward. We’re going to be okay.”
 
Her lips tilt up a little. “As long as we keep rowing?”
 
He shrugs. “Maybe that was kind of corny, but…”
 
Abby smiles fully. “I’m used to that. In fact, it’s one of the things I love the most about you.”
 
Luka rolls his eyes. “I’m glad.”
 
She chuckles and leans into him. “What made you think of that night in the ambulance bay?”
 
“I…” Luka shakes his head. “I had been thinking about us all day. Well, more than usual, so that means a

lot

. Since I dropped you off this morning. I was irritated with myself because I didn’t say anything when you gave me the paper.” He cups her jaw when she opens her mouth to speak. “No, I’m going to apologize for that. It caught me off guard, and I was angry with myself for not even acknowledging our anniversary. I didn’t forget, I just didn’t know what to say.” He leans in to kiss her again. “I’m sorry.”
 
Abby smiles a little. “It’s okay. But I have to admit, it worried me.”
 
Luka nods. “I knew it would, and that made me even angrier. Not at you, but at myself. So...happy anniversary.”
 
Abby strokes his cheek. “Back at you.”
 
“Anyways, I was kind of thinking back over the highs and lows of our relationship, and that moment was the one I kept coming back to. That one kiss changed my life, Abby.”
 
She nods and pushes a stray hair behind her ear. “Mine too.” 
 
“Neither of us had any idea how to handle it, and we went through so much to end up here. And I...I can’t lose you. I won’t.” 
 
Abby tips her head to his shoulder and smiles, relief and love flooding through her. “I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am right now.” She turns her face up to his. “Kiss me again, before we both get back to work.”
 
Luka strokes her cheek. “We’ll talk more tonight, yeah?”
 
Abby dips her head. “Of course we will. We’re done with not talking, Luka. That’s what screwed us up so much before.”
 
Luka tips her face up to his with a fingertip. “You’re right.” Leaning in, he kisses her short and sweet. Almost exactly like the kiss they’d shared so many years ago. “I love you, Abby. So much.”
 
Abby sighs. “Thank God.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Luka.” Abby rolls over and touches her husband’s shoulder. She knows better than to grab him or try to shake him awake. Her heart squeezes while he thrashes and moans. “

Luka.”

Luka’s breath hitches as he rolls to clutch Abby against him. He’s still shaking as he buries his face in her neck. “Sorry.” he mumbles against her throat.
 
Abby strokes his hair, letting her other hand trail up and down his back, trying to soothe. “Don’t be.” she murmurs. “It was a bad one?”
 
He nods and sighs. “Yeah.” Luka starts to shift back, while Abby pulls him in again. “I need some water.”
 
“I’ll get it.” Abby sits up and kisses his forehead when he shakes his head. “Luka, let me get it.” She rises when he nods, opting to go downstairs for the water to give him a few minutes. Abby sighs a little. They had this routine down pretty well. Luka had started having nightmares the first time they had been together. Back then, the only comfort he had allowed was the physical kind, and often, Abby had felt like he was trying to fill the hole that his family had left in his life. She fills a glass from the machine, taking a sip while she turns to bring it back up to him. When they had gotten back together, his guilt over being with her seemed to have abated some, so he would talk about it. Bits and pieces, but it was talking. They often would make love after, but it was different than the first time. More an affirmation of what they had together, rather than trying to make up for what was lost. Abby hands him the glass when she comes back in and stands watching while he drinks.
 
“Thank you.” Luka reaches for her hand while he sets the glass aside. “Come here.” he murmurs. He sighs when she crawls back into bed beside him. “Thanks.” he repeats and kisses her softly.
 
Abby nods. “Tell me.”
 
Luka wraps his arm around her shoulders. “Almost the same as usual. There’s always little differences, but it’s the same too. The siege, being too late. Then it shifts to the day Joe was born, and being too late again. This time....” he trails off and shakes his head, unable to finish the thought.
 
Abby sighs and shifts closer to him. “I’m sorry….”
 
“No. None of that was your fault. It was beyond your control.”
 
“Yours too.” Abby whispers quietly. She reaches up and turns his face to hers. “Luka, you couldn’t have done anything.”
 
He gives a short, pithy laugh. “I could have just let them go.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “And then you’d feel guilty because something could have happened to Sam. Luka, there was no way to win in that situation.”
 
“Something

did

happen to Sam. All I did by getting in the middle was make things worse. If I’d let them go in the first place, they probably wouldn’t have started shooting.”
 
“Bullshit.” Her forceful tone has Luka looking over at her in surprise. “That’s just bullshit, Luka. If you hadn’t done what you did, it could have been worse. They might have just killed you and left you in the room and shot their way out. I could have been shot instead of just falling.” her voice hitches. “Anyways, you know as well as I do that you can’t play with ‘what ifs’. All that will do is drive you crazy. Joe and I are here. We survived, and you were right there through it all. It’s been five years, and we’re both healthy and happy. You know that. We can’t change the past, all we can do is move forward.”  
 
Luka chuckles softly. “The irony of you saying that, along with the fact that you’ve actually learned it, is kind of hilarious.”
 
Abby smirks. “Growth.”
 
Luka sighs. “I’m still stuck.”
 
Abby shifts again so she can look up at him. “No, you’re not. Luka, the fact that you

actually

talk about these things now is huge.” She props herself up on her elbow. “Remember when we were together the first time and you would have the nightmares?” She runs a fingertip down his cheek when he nods. “The only way you would let me help was with sex.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “We’ve done a lot of that over the years. Both of us.”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah. But when we got back together, that changed. You talked about it. Maybe not as much as I wanted you to, but enough. Since we’ve been here, after everything that happened our last year in Chicago, you’ve done even more.” She leans in to press a kiss to his bare shoulder. “It hasn’t been fast, but that’s okay. We’re both works in progress. I’m glad we’re doing it together.”
 
Luka hitches up to kiss her. “Me too. I love you.”
 
“Yeah, me too.” She strokes his shoulder and sighs. “I’m glad we learned how to talk

and

have sex.”
 
Luka strokes her cheek. “You know how hard it was for both of us to open up back then. Remember when you asked me why I kissed you that first night we were together again, and I said it was because you really opened up to me?” He cups her jaw and rubs his thumb along her cheekbone when she nods. “I had known you for six years. After we broke up, we started

really

talking. We started learning how to be friends, I guess. That first night when you were staying with me after Brian? We watched a movie and talked, you opened up a little, and I wanted to kiss you so badly, it physically hurt.” He smiles when she cocks her head. “But I didn’t, because I was terrified you wouldn’t want me back, and I didn’t want to ruin things between us again.”
 
Abby licks her lips and smiles a little. “You should have. It might have saved me from that terrible relationship with Carter.”
 
Luka chuckles and kisses her. “I think…” he shakes his head. “No, I

know

that you had to try things with Carter, as hard as that was for me. If only for you both to figure out it wouldn’t work. You would have had that ‘what if’ hanging over your head otherwise. We would have ended up in exactly the same place we had been before.” Luka shrugs. 
 
Abby sighs. “You’re right. We both had a lot to work through. I just wish we hadn’t taken so long.”
 
Luka leans his forehead to hers. “Me too. But we can’t change the past.” He chuckles when she pinches him. Luka draws back to look in her eyes. “Do you know that I never had the nightmares when I was with Sam?” He shakes his head when her brow furrows. “I realized the first time I had one when we were back together why that was. I never even thought about it when I was with her, but when they started up again, I realized it was because of you.” He grips her hand when her eyes widen. “No, it’s not your fault.” Luka draws her in and strokes her hair. “Sorry, that was stupid. I mean it was because of what I felt for you.” He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you so much. I was terrified of losing you.” He kisses her cheek. “I still am. That’s part of the reason I still have them.”
 
“Luka.” Abby murmurs and brings her lips up to meet his. “You’re not going to lose me.”
 
He shakes his head. “You know you can’t promise that. I can’t either.”
 
Abby sighs. “No, I guess not.” She smiles a little. “We haven’t had a single near-death experience since we moved to Boston though. That has to count for something.”
 
Luka snorts. “County was a dangerous place to work.” He kisses her nose. “I just mean that this kind of fear doesn’t go away. It doesn’t eat at me anymore, but sometimes it sneaks up on me.”
 
“I know.” She reaches over and strokes his hair. “You’ve stopped letting it define you, though. That’s important, Luka.”
 
Luka shifts and rolls her to her back. “It doesn’t define me anymore because of what we have.” He lowers his mouth to hers, sinking in when her arms come around him. “I hope you know that. You’re everything, Abby.”
 
Abby smiles and sighs. “I love you, Luka.” Lifting her hands to thread through his hair, she draws his mouth back to hers, lips parting for a slow, silky dance of tongues. Abby’s breath hitches when his hand glides under the thin tank she’s wearing, and he trails his lips from her mouth to her jaw. 
 
Groaning, Luka pulls back to lift the top over her head, and sighs when he takes her soft breast in his mouth. Their bodies were so familiar to each other now, and that didn’t quench the wanting they had for each other. If anything, it only made it better. 
 
Abby smiles and strokes his hair, moaning when he nips at her with his teeth while his tongue slides over her to soothe. Sliding her hands down to his hips, she slides the pajama pants over them, thrilling at his gasp when she takes his hard length in her hand. 
 
Desperate now, they roll together, clutching each other with breaths coming fast and hard. Frantic for each other, Abby cries out while Luka curses as he drives himself inside her. Blinking to clear his vision while he holds himself there, surprised as she comes. 
 
“God,

Luka.

” Abby wraps her legs around him, lifting her hips, encouraging him to move. 
 
Crushing his mouth to hers again, Luka thrusts hard and deep, hands sliding under her hips to open her further. Everything inside him felt like it was touching everything in her. He feels her building again as he quickens the pace, burying his face in her throat, he murmurs in Croatian and English, words of love and devotion she knew very well.
 
The orgasm slams through Abby, clutching around him tightly she moans as he stiffens and empties himself inside her. She chuckles when he collapses on her. “Well, at least we talked first.”
 
Luka snorts and lifts his head to grin at her. “You did say we’d learned how to do both.” He drops his head to kiss her softly. “We do both pretty good these days, yeah?”
 
Abby nods and bites her lip. “Yeah.” She shifts to slide out from under him and tosses her arm across his chest. “Now, Doctor Kovač, it’s time to sleep. It’s after three in the morning and we both have to work tomorrow.” She hesitates a little. “

Can

you sleep?”
 
Luka nods and pulls her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Yes, other Doctor Kovač, I think I can.”
 
Abby snickers at that. “Okay.” she settles her head on his shoulder, still holding him. “I love you.”
 
Luka strokes her shoulder and closes his eyes. “I love you too. No more dreams tonight.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka takes Abby’s hand as they stroll along the waterfront in Back Bay. “Are your feet holding up?”
 
Abby smirks at him and squeezes his hand. “I wasn’t expecting to walk very far, but they’re fine.” she glances down and holds her foot out. “And they’re such pretty shoes.”
 
Luka chuckles. “They are. Your legs look amazing.” he slides his arm around her waist, drawing her close to his side and kissing her temple when she giggles at him. “You look beautiful.”
 
Abby smiles up at him. “Well, we don’t get much of a chance to dress up and have a date anymore.”
 
Luka sighs. “I know.” he stops and pulls her in front of him. “I’m sorry about that.”
 
Abby cocks her head. “Why? Luka, it’s not like either one of us has a lot of time, and when we do, we’re exhausted.”
 
Leaning down to kiss her softly, Luka runs his hand over her back. “I know. I just don’t want us to forget to do things like this. I know this….”
 
Abby scoffs. “Luka, you’re not neglecting me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” she reaches up and strokes his cheek. “We have a teenager at home and a busy life. I think we do a pretty good job of things.”
 
Luka brings her hand to his lips. “You deserve the world, Abby.” he sighs when her eyes widen in surprise. “I adore you. Let’s go have dinner.”
 
Abby nudges him as they start to walk again. “Ostra, huh?”
 
“I know how much you love your seafood.” he smirks a little. “We’ll have to get you a bib.”
 
Abby looks down at her black dress. “You’re probably right.” She laughs when he pinches her and pulls open the door to the restaurant. Once they’re seated with their menus, she studies him. “You okay?”
 
Luka smiles at her. “Yeah. Happy Anniversary.” he lifts his water glass in a toast, and grins when she does the same.
 
“Back atcha.” Abby sips. “Twelve years, Luka. How the hell did we manage that?” 
 
He laughs a little and looks at her tenderly. “We kept rowing.”
 
Abby shakes her head and smiles, reaching across the table for his hand. “We did. It helps that we live a fairly normal life these days. Definitely more normal than when we got married.” she grins when Luka snorts at that. “You don’t miss it?”
 
“Miss what? The shootouts and hostage situations?” He chuckles when she grins. “No, not a bit.” 
 
Abby shakes her head. “No, I mean the other stuff. Like Africa and everything.”
 
Luka sits back when the waiter brings their drinks and takes their orders. Studying his wife, he realizes that she still wonders if he wants that life in some part of him. He doesn’t, not one single bit, but he understands her thought process. “Abby, all of that was something I needed to do, then. It’s an important program, and I’ll always advocate for it.”
 
She nods. “I just don’t want you to think I…”
 
He grips her hand. “I don’t. I know if I

really

wanted to do it again, you would support it. You would hate it, but you would let me do what I had to do. But Abby, I don’t. For one thing, I don’t want to be away from you and Joe for that long. I want and need our life together more than I need anything else.” Luka rubs his thumb over her wedding ring and smiles a little. “You should know that by now.”
 
“I do.” Abby glances up through her lashes. “I just want you to have everything you want.”
 
Luka brings her hand to his lips. “I do have everything I want. I have more than I ever expected to. I told someone once that I didn’t want what happened to Danijela and the kids to be the end of my story. When I said it, I had no idea how much more to my story there would be, and that it would be better than I ever imagined it. I have a wife I love beyond reason, a son who drives us both crazy, and a happy

normal

life. I think we both deserve that after all those years of chaos.”
 
Abby feels tears sting her eyes. “Luka…”
 
He reaches over to tip her face up so he can look in her eyes. “We’ve known each other for almost twenty years, Abby.” Leaning forward, Luka takes her lips with his. “Twelve years ago today, we married each other. I love you even more now than I did then. I never thought that was possible either.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “Me either. I was so in love with you….” she shakes her head. “You know, before you, I always hated that I felt like I was losing myself in a relationship. I never thought about it when it was happening, but I always had this feeling like I was slipping away.” She sits back slightly and nods at the waiter while he serves their food and walks away. Picking up her fork, she finishes. “I never felt that way with you. With us. I still don’t. You never asked me to be anything other than what I was. I was good enough for you, and you let me be crazy.”
 
Luka grins at her. “You did the same for me.”
 
Taking a bite of her lobster she closes her eyes and moans. “This is delicious. Anyways, what I mean is, I don’t think I would have made it twelve years with anyone but you.” Abby looks up at him. “I love you, Luka. So much. I want you to know that I’m happy to keep rowing, and occasionally doing some bailing out.” She grins when he laughs at that. “But all in all, I couldn’t have chosen a better partner.”
 
Luka sets his fork aside and leans forward to take her hand again. “Me either.” He bites his bottom lip. Since you brought up the other stuff, you don’t ever wish we had stayed in Chicago, do you?”
 
Abby’s brow furrows. “Hell no.”
 
“I just...I know you did it for me, and you…”
 
Rolling her eyes, Abby squeezes his hand and picks up her fork again. “Luka, I did it for

us

which is entirely different. Home is when I’m with you, not a place.” Slipping another bite of lobster between her lips she smiles again. “Have you been holding onto that?”
 
He shrugs, looking adorably chagrined. “Not really, I just…”
 
“Listen. You were right when you told me all those years ago that those walls were haunted. So much happened at County that it was hard to separate it out without bringing it home, and that was hard on us. It was good for us to move on from that. It was good for

me

because I had to learn to work without the safety net of years in the same place with everyone knowing me, and you being right there to help if I needed it.” She shakes her head when he frowns at that. “No, I didn’t mean that in a negative way. But having to learn to sink or swim in a new hospital made me a better doctor.”
 
“You were already a great doctor.” Luka smiles at her.
 
Abby grins. “I know. But moving here made me better. Luka, coming here was almost like starting a new chapter in our lives. Not exactly a fresh start, because we had way too much history. But a new chapter, after so many years of trying to hold onto the one we were in. We needed to turn the page so we could get it together and stop worrying about the past so much. So we could move forward together.” 
 
Luka swallows hard. “That’s beautiful.”

Abby smiles at him. “And...well? Almost all of our friends were gone anyways. Pratt…”
 
Luka smiles sadly. “Yeah.”
 
“Carter was off playing hero as usual, Susan was in Iowa, Kerry in Florida. Neela was really one of the only people left that we were close to.” Abby shrugs. “And she moved a few months after we did anyways. There were a handful of people left, like Morris, but...We keep in touch with the people we love. It wasn’t a hardship to start fresh so that we could focus on each other and our family instead of the past.”
 
Luka sighs and smiles, a weight he hadn’t realized he’d been holding onto was gone. “I love you, and you’re absolutely right. Thanks.” He grins as she scoops a bit of the sauce from the bottom of her plate onto her finger to lick it off. His brow cocks up. “Want dessert?”
 
Abby watches him while she continues trying to get every last bit of sauce from the plate, and really, she wasn’t

trying

to be suggestive, it was just delicious. She licks her lips and leans forward so her mouth was a breath from his. “Yeah.” Her mouth quirks in a grin while his eyes focus on her lips. “Think we can get it to go?”
 
“Ah…” Luka shakes himself, uncomfortably turned on in the middle of the crowded restaurant, but always willing to play the game with her. He leans farther forward, laying his hand on her thigh, he moves his lips up to her ear. “Can we get something with chocolate and more…” he moves his fingers a little higher. “Sauce?” 
 
Nearly choking, Abby pulls back a little, before she tossed him onto the table to have her way with him and got them arrested. She clears her throat. “Yeah, we can do that.” She eyes him. “It’s a good thing Joe’s spending the night with Kenny.” 
 
Luka smirks and signals for the waiter. “Do you know what I’m going to do to you when we get home?”
 
Abby smiles.

Home.

Wherever they were, together. “I can’t wait to find out.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Joe?” Abby tries to keep the panic from her voice when her son’s number pops up on her phone just as she’s finishing a trauma. They were all on edge these last few weeks. 
 
“Hi mom, I’m okay. Just wanted to let you know they’re going to shut school down. Mrs. B is picking Kenny and me up. I’ll go straight home if you want.”
 
Abby sighs in both relief and anxiety and moves into the lounge. She had discussed this with Luka just last night. “Go ahead and hang with Kenny for awhile, I’ll pick you up on my way home.” Abby rubs her forehead. “I need to call your dad so we can figure this out.”
 
“Okay.” Abby can practically hear Joe’s eyeroll. “Don’t worry, mom.”
 
She smiles a little. “That’s my job. See you soon.”
 
Hanging up, she immediately dials Luka and gets his voicemail. “Hey. Call me as soon as you get this.” Abby sighs and rolls her eyes. It’s not her husband’s fault that the world was barreling toward a global pandemic. “Please. Love you.” Abby pockets her phone and turns when she hears Jake chuckle behind her. 
 
“School shutting down?” Jake sips his coffee. 
 
“Yeah, finally. Luka and I were just saying last night that they would probably do it soon.”
 
Jake nods. “I really wish Sophie would start her leave early. I hate the idea of her being here while she’s pregnant. It’s getting a little scary.”
 
“I know.” Abby shakes her head. “Luka and I really need to sit down and discuss what we’re going to do if….” She breaks off and pulls her phone out again when it vibrates and waves her hand at Jake while she answers Luka. “Hi.”
 
“Hi, what’s going on?” 
 
Abby can hear the strain in his voice. “The academy is shutting down.”
 
“For how long?”
 
Abby scowls. “I have no idea, Luka. I didn’t think to ask while I was making sure our son was safe.”
 
Luka sighs. “Sorry. I...sorry. You’re right. What is he doing?”
 
“Shelly was picking him up. I’ll get him when I’m done here.”
 
“Okay. Listen, I might be a little late. We’re having some...issues.” 
 
Abby’s brow furrows. She can

hear

him evading. If he were in front of her he’d be shuffling his feet and avoiding her eyes. “Luka, what’s going on?”
 
He sighs. “I...I’m not entirely sure. Reed’s been in a meeting for the past three hours and something is going on. Nobody knows what.” 
 
“Well, everything is weird right now. This is kind of unprecedented in the US. Nobody knows how to handle it.”
 
Luka chuckles softly. “You’re right. I’ll call you later, okay?”
 
“Sure. Luka, I…” 
 
“I know. Love you too.”
 
Abby smiles when she ends the call, but still has an unsettled feeling in her gut. Telling herself not to worry until she has to, she heads out to finish her shift.

*****************************

“Seriously?” Luka runs his hands through his hair. 
 
“I’m sorry Kovač, it’s…”
 
Luka shakes his head at his chief and friend. “No, I get it, Reed. We’re all doctors.” He blows out a breath. “This sucks.” 
 
“It does. Will Abby be alright?”
 
Luka snorts. “There’s nobody more self-sufficient than Abby.” But he worries a little. This was going to be more stress on top of what she already was dealing with. “She’ll be fine. I need to call her and figure out…”
 
“You’re off shift. You’re free to do whatever you want. As long as you stay in the department.” Reed smirks. “Within reason.”
 
Luka chuckles. “I’m the last person you need to worry about when it comes to misbehaving in the workplace. I got that out of my system a long time ago.” He sighs. “I guess I’ll go set up in my new home.”
 
Reed nods. “Tell Abby if she needs to drop anything off for you, she can, as long as she follows protocol.”
 
Luka nods. “Thanks.” He shuffles into the on-call room and perches on the side of one of the cots. Running his hand over his face, he pulls out his phone and calls home, smiling when Abby answers. It hits him, out of nowhere, that after all of their years together (and even apart), just hearing her voice makes him smile. He swallows as love for her wells up. “Hi.”
 
“Hi. What’s wrong?”
 
Luka groans. This was going to suck. He already misses her. He blows out a breath. “We’re quarantined.”
 
Abby’s quiet for a long moment, and he hears her swallow. “For how long?” she asks softly.
 
“Ten days. We had four patients that several of us were exposed to that tested positive. They’re all in ICU and the administration and the health department are worried about a more virulent strain.” Luka slides back and crosses his ankles. “I’m sorry…”
 
“Luka, shut up.” He smiles when he hears her pace out onto their porch. “Are you okay?”
 
“Yeah. I feel fine. No symptoms. I just...I hate leaving you to deal with everything by yourself. With Joe out of school and having to figure

that

out…”
 
“Luka, we knew this was a possibility when all of this started. We’ll be fine.  Ah...do you need anything?”
 
“My toothbrush would be nice.” He says dryly, smirking a little when she laughs. “Reed said you could drop some necessities off to me if you follow protocol.” Luka grins as he can imagine her eyeroll. 
 
“Nah. I thought I’d come barreling in there on my white horse and rescue you.”
 
Luka chuckles. “That’s a really nice image, but maybe another time.”
 
“I’ll drop some things off in the morning. I’ll talk to Dawn and see about cutting back on my shifts some so I can be home with Joe…”
 
Luka’s brow creases. “Are you okay with that?”
 
“I have to be. Besides, if you were exposed, we might have been too.”
 
As that realization hits him, Luka feels a low level panic in his gut. “Ah, Shit.”
 
“Yeah. When were those patients in there?”
 
Luka sighs. “Monday.” 
 
“So that’s two days you’ve been with us where we might have been exposed too.” Abby sighs. “I’ll tell Dawn what’s going on and work it out.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “You know the chances of transmission…”
 
Abby laughs shortly. “No, I don’t, and neither do you. Luka, this isn’t your fault. It’s a fucking pandemic. Get over yourself.”
 
Luka can’t help it, that cracks him up. He grins when she starts laughing too. “Well, you know it’s all about me.”
 
“I know. Hey, you want to talk to Joe?”  
 
“Yeah. Put him on, but then I want to talk to you some more.” Luka hears her calling for Joe and he smiles again when his son comes on. 
 
“Hey dad. Did you catch the ‘Rona?”
 
Luka chuckles. “Don’t know, but I’m stuck here until I find out.”
 
“That sucks.”
 
“Yeah. Do you have everything you need for school?”
 
“I think so. We’re supposed to start classes online next week once the teachers figure it out.”
 
“That will be good.” Luka sighs. “Guess this means no football for awhile either, huh?”
 
“Coach called earlier. He doesn’t really know what’s going on, but we can’t practice.”
 
“I know it sucks, Josip, but it’s really important so we can get this under control.” He smiles, imagining Joe’s shrug. He knows how disappointed his son is not to be playing. “You’ll be playing again in no time.” Luka smiles a little. “You could always ask your mom to run drills with you.”
 
Joe snorts. “Yeah, if I want her to break her foot like she did the last time.”
 
“It was only her toe.” Luka laughs when Joe snickers at that. “Listen, Joe. I need you to take care of her while I’m here, okay?”
 
Joe swallows and clears his throat. “Yeah, I will, Dad.” 
 
“That means no ice cream for dinner.”
 
“I don’t know if I can keep that promise. She’s pretty bossy when she wants something.”
 
Luka grins. “I know it. Just do your best. Let me talk to her again.”
 
“Okay.”
 
“Hey Joe? I love you.”
 
“Yeah. Uh...me too, Dad.”
 
Luka shakes his head at the obvious teenaged discomfort, not the least bit bothered by it. 
 
“I’ll eat ice cream for dinner if I want to.”
 
Luka chuckles. “I know. Did Joe rat me out?”
 
“No, I just know you and I’ve got a pretty good idea what you said to him.” 
 
Luka sighs, wishing he could just hug her. “I’ll probably come home to find the two of you in a sugar coma.”
 
Abby snorts. “Shut up.”
 
“Never.” Luka smiles softly. “Well I guess…”
 
“Yeah. Um...we’ll miss you.”
 
“I’ll miss you too.” Luka rubs his hand over his face. “Abby…”
 
“Hey. It will be okay. Just be careful. The last time I was quarantined, I ended up sleeping with Carter.”
 
Luka chokes out a laugh. “Don’t worry. I promise not to sleep with Gorsch.”
 
“That’s a relief.”
 
“I love you.”
 
“I love you too. I’ll see you in the morning. From a safe distance, of course.”
 
Luka grins. “Yeah. Bye.”
 
Hanging up, Luka swings his legs onto the cot. He’d only made use of the on-call room here once before, and never overnight. He had figured his days of sleeping in a hospital were over. Now he was stuck here, without his wife, for ten days. He doubted he would get much sleep. 
 
Marcus raises a brow at Luka when he comes in to find him scowling at the ceiling. “This sucks.”
 
“Completely.” 
 
Marcus grins at him while he pulls off his shoes. “Just give me a heads up if you want to have phone sex with Abby. I’ll clear out.”
 
“Fuck off.” But Luka’s lips twitch a little. “I was just thinking I probably won’t sleep much. You get used to having her there.”
 
Marcus shrugs. “Wouldn’t know, but I can’t blame you one bit.”
 
Luka nods and rolls to his side. “Guess I should try.”

***************************************

“Abby, it’s not even a question. You need to come in and get tested, and then you need to stay home.”
 
Abby huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes. She

hated

this. “Dawn, we’re already short staffed. I could still…”
 
“And what happens if you’re positive? Then we’ve exposed the entire department. Come in and get tested and then stay home. You can come back once the results are back.”
 
Abby sighs. “If that’s the case, I don’t see why my husband can’t quarantine at home too.”
 
“That’s a question for the health department and the CDC, not for me.” There’s a long pause. “But yeah. It’s really stupid.”
 
“I told Luka that nobody knows what the hell they’re doing with this. Everything is willy nilly and fly by the seat of our pants.”
 
Dawn chuckles. “It really is, but you know we have these protocols for a reason, even if they’re stupid.”
 
“Yeah. I’ll be in to get tested in a couple of hours. I need to drop some stuff off for Luka and I guess I’d better get some supplies. Bye.”
 
Abby clicks off and smiles at Joe. “Guess it’s you and me for awhile, pal.”
 
Joe shrugs and smirks at his mother. “Be sure you get extra ice cream if you’re going to the store.”
 
“Shut up.” Abby opens her browser to put in an order for pickup. “Probably shouldn’t actually go into the store since we’re technically in lockdown.” She raises a brow at her son. “Mint chocolate chip or cookie dough?”
 
Joe snickers. “Both. And Doritos.”
 
“Duh.” Abby adds a few more healthy options to her cart, to appease her guilt for eating like a teenager with Luka gone. “I’ve got to put some stuff together for your dad and drop it off and then stop by work to get tested. Will you be okay for a couple of hours?”
 
Joe rolls his eyes. “Mom. I’m fourteen.”
 
She sighs. “Don’t remind me.” Abby raises a brow. “And don’t you dare start watching the next season of

Lucifer

without me.”
 
Joe grins. “We’re gonna watch it without Dad?”
 
Abby shrugs. “We can always watch it again. I’ve got to get moving. Behave yourself.” Abby dashes up the stairs to throw a bag together for Luka. Hesitating, she fills it with his favorite sweats and a couple of other staples. Tossing it over her shoulder she heads down and calls out a goodbye to Joe, who is already immersed in a soccer game. Sighing, she climbs behind the wheel of her car.

**************************

“Luka, Abby’s here.” Reed pokes his head into the on-call room. “Mask up. Meet me in the lounge after you see her. We need to talk about what we’re all going to do.”
 
Luka nods and pulls his mask on, walking out through the designated quarantine area, which was a good third of the ER. He smiles when he sees her waiting, wearing a mask with a bag slung over her shoulder. “Hey.”
 
“Hey. Catch.” Abby tosses the bag to him. “I put your tablet in there. Joe and I are going to start season 4.”
 
Luka scowls. “Without me?”
 
Abby grins. “Sorry. But you can watch along with us if you want. We can text or FaceTime about it.”
 
Luka sighs. “This is weird.”
 
“I know. Dawn wants me to stay home too until I get my results back. I don’t know why you just can’t come home and quarantine with us.”
 
He shrugs. “No idea. Ask the health department. The rules are all over the place.”
 
“I know. It’s stupid, but I get it.” Abby searches his face, what she can see of it. “I missed you last night.”
 
Luka’s eyes crinkle in a smile. “I missed you too. Gorsch offered to clear out if we wanted to have phone sex.”
 
Abby laughs at that. “I think we should probably save that until you get home.”
 
“Yeah. Ah...you can call me whenever though. I don’t think we’re going to be doing much.” He smirks. “Reed might try to give us some of his paperwork.”
 
Abby smiles. “It’s good for you. That’s what you always tell me.”
 
“Yeah, well. I’m an idiot.”
 
“But you’re my idiot.” Abby actively longs to touch him. She sighs. “I’d better get going. I have ice cream in the car.”
 
Luka chuckles at that. “Of course you do.”
 
“I bought vegetables too. To assuage my guilt.”
 
“Good.” Luka smiles softly at her. “I love you.”
 
Abby winks and blows him a kiss. “Love you too. Call me later.”
 
“Count on it.” Luka waves and watches her walk away until she’s out of sight before he heads back in.

************************************

“Hey.” Luka smiles through the phone at his wife.
 
“Hi. Are you climbing the walls yet?” Abby smiles and pulls open the door to the porch, flopping down into one of their deck chairs so she can watch Joe kicking the ball around. “Joe’s going crazy, see?” She turns the phone around so Luka can see him.
 
Luka sighs. “Tell him to supinate that left foot…”
 
“I heard that dad! I told you I can’t!” Joe calls from the base of the porch steps.
 
Abby snorts. “Stop being a sports dad.”
 
Luka grins at her. “Sorry. How’s it going there besides that?”
 
“I just got my test results. Dawn’s letting me come back tomorrow. It’s still the same for you? How’s Gorsch?”
 
Luka and Gorsch had both tested positive. “He’s okay. Nothing too bad yet. I still haven’t had any symptoms.”
 
Abby sighs. “This virus is so fucking weird.”
 
“Yeah. The literature changes every five minutes. I’ve never seen anything like this.” Luka smiles at her. “Ah...I found the compass. Thanks.” It had been wrapped in one of her t-shirts in the outside pocket of his bag. He hadn’t noticed until the night before.
 
Abby’s lips curve. “Well, I wanted to make sure you could find your way home.”
 
“As if I would ever forget.”  He murmurs. “I appreciate the sentiment. And the playing cards. They’ve come in handy.”
 
Abby grins at him. “I thought they would. Have you guys been playing strip poker?”
 
Luka snorts. “No. Just regular, and I’ve gotten pretty good. We’ll play the strip kind when I get home.” He wriggles his brows at her.
 
Abby raises her brows. “Prepare to lose your shirt, Kovač. Literally.”
 
Luka chuckles. “We’ll see about that. Five more days.”
 
“It feels like forever, but it’s not so terrible. FaceTime has been a godsend. I’ve done a couple of meetings through Zoom too.”
 
“AA meetings? Really?”
 
“Yeah. I don’t like it as much, but it’s something.”
 
“That’s great. I didn’t know they were doing that.”
 
“With everything shutting down, they had to figure something out. Karen sent me an email.”
 
“I’m glad. Listen, you should be getting a delivery today.”
 
Abby’s brows draw together. “What is it?”
 
“A surprise.” Luka chuckles when she scowls at him. “I’m bored, and surfing Groupon and Amazon gives me something to do. You know I like to shop.”
 
“I didn’t see anything in the bank account.”
 
Luka grins. “I used my gift account. Just shut up and accept it.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Fine.”
 
“Say ‘Thank you, Luka.’” He lifts a brow.
 
“I don’t even know what it is. What if I hate it?”
 
Luka chuckles. “You won’t.”
 
“I might.”
 
“Stop being contrary. It’s something for you and Joe to do.”
 
Abby sighs again and grins. “Fine. Thank you, Luka.”
 
“You’re welcome, Abby.”

*********************************

“You’re sprung.” Reed comes in and tosses paperwork at Luka to sign. 
 
Luka looks up from his phone, eight days into his quarantine. “Seriously?”
 
“Yeah. New guidelines say 72 hours symptom free after a positive. You’re well beyond that.”
 
Luka swings his legs off the cot. “Gorsch?”
 
“They haven’t intubated, so that’s good. The nebs are working for him.”
 
“Thank God.”
 
“Yeah. He’s improving. Not going to lie, he scared the shit out of me.”
 
“Me too.” Luka starts gathering his things. “Ah...when do you want me back on shift?”
 
Reed chuckles. “Take the weekend. I have a feeling you need some time with your family.”
 
“I definitely do. Thanks.” Luka slings the bag over his shoulder. “I’ll check in on Marcus later.”
 
Reed shakes his head. “I’ll call you if anything changes. Go home and make up for lost time.”
 
Luka grins and hurries out, starting to dial home, he decides against it, opting to surprise Abby instead. Letting himself in the back door quietly, he chuckles when he hears Joe shouting from the basement.
 
“Oh, come on! You’re cheating.”
 
“Jesus, Josip, you sound exactly like your father. Is it

really

so hard to believe I might be better than you?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Jerk.”
 
Luka rounds the corner and watches as Joe spins the flippers on his men. “You gotta finesse it.”
 
Abby spins around and gapes at him, a smile spreading before she takes two quick strides and leaps into his arms. She sighs when his arms tighten around her and she buries her face in his throat. He kisses her head.
 
“It’s all in the wrist.” Abby tilts her head up and meets his lips with hers, sinking in and smiling. Reveling in the feel of him after what felt like an eternity. 
 
“You really did miss me.” He murmurs, drawing her back and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Luka grins when Joe clears his throat. He turns, arms still wrapped around his wife. “Hi Joe.”
 
“Hi dad. Glad you’re home. Could you please stop groping mom in front of me?”
 
Luka snorts. “I’m not groping her. Besides, how do you think we got

you

?”
 
“The stork brought me. And ew.”
 
Abby wiggles free, giggling. “Stop it.” She pinches Luka’s belly. “You were supposed to have two more days.”
 
Luka shrugs. “New guidelines. I’m sprung.” He gives her a wicked grin. 
 
Abby smiles slowly and clears her throat. “Ah, good. Thanks for the foosball table. Again. Joe’s as bad as you are.”
 
Joe scowls. “I’m not bad. I still think you’re cheating.”
 
Luka steps over and swings his arm around Joe’s neck. “She’s not. She’s really that good at it.” He smiles at Abby. “I bought this so we could practice and one day kick her ass.”
 
Abby lifts a brow. “I’m the undisputed foosball champ in this family. You’ve got your work cut out for you.”
 
Luka’s lips quirk up. “Cocky. We’ll see about that.”
 
Abby grins, so happy to have him home, and healthy and safe. “Yeah, we will.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka smiles against Abby’s lips as her hands stroke his neck and she presses her body, clad in the very sexy Christmas lingerie, against his. “I love you, Abby. Merry Christmas.”
 
“Mmm.” Abby trails her lips along his jaw, loving the feel of him, and grateful they were there together. “Merry Christmas, Luka.”
 
Luka trails his lips up to her temple, shivering when she melts against him and lowers her hands to his waist, toying with the hem of his sweater. He strokes a finger down the vee between her breasts, making her shudder. “I like my present.” he murmurs.
 
Abby slides her hands under his sweater, stroking up his back, her nails lightly scraping his skin. “I thought you might.” She grins when he pulls back to stare at her, making goosebumps erupt when she takes in the look in his eyes. That

look

that was only for her. Love, lust, happiness, trust, affection and longing all mixed together into something she had only ever seen in his eyes when he looked at her. Like he could never get enough. Her lips tilt up when he abruptly strides away. “What…”
 
Luka grabs the throw pillows and blanket from the couch and tosses them on the floor under the tree. Taking Abby’s hand, he pulls her down with him. Pulling the clip from her hair, he tosses it over his shoulder and lowers his mouth to hers. “I want to make love to you under our tree.” He strokes his hand through her hair, letting it tumble down over her shoulders. Smiling down at her, he traces his fingers up her thigh. “Is that okay?”
 
Abby’s breath hitches when his thumb slides along the inside of her leg. Cupping the back of his head, she nibbles at his ear, making him groan. “Yes.” she whispers. 
 
Sighing, Luka takes her mouth again, sliding his lips over hers, tongue stroking in to tangle while his hands roam over her body. Luka revels in the sounds Abby makes when he settles his body over hers. 
 
Abby closes her eyes and lets her head fall back when his lips roam to her neck, trailing soft kisses down to where the lingerie dipped (very) low between her breasts. Stroking his hair, she sighs when his fingers dip under the soft material to slide along her nipple. Gasping, Abby arches up when his other hand slides under her panties, fingers lightly dipping inside her. Crying out, she bucks against his hand while his fingers stroke and slide against the heat. “Luka…”
 
Luka chuckles against her throat as she comes, clutching his neck. “Abby…” he murmurs, bringing his lips back to hers to soothe. Lifting his head, he smiles down into her blurry eyes. He loved watching her face while she came back from an orgasm. She always seemed a little bit shocked, and

god

she was responsive. He really couldn’t get enough of her.
 
Abby’s lips quirk up. “What?”
 
“Nothing.” Luka pulls back to lift his sweater over his head, smiling, he strokes a finger down her cheek. “I love watching you come.”
 
Abby feels her cheeks heat while a shock of lust spears through her body. Sliding her hands down, she works the button of his trousers free and slides them over his hips. “Well, then. Maybe you should see if you can make it happen again.”
 
Luka lifts a brow and braces himself over her. He was hard as iron, desperate to be inside her, but he holds himself back. “Is that a challenge?”
 
Abby strokes her fingers over his hip and down, making him hiss out a breath when her fingers brush his arousal. “Maybe.” she grins up at him impishly. 
 
Groaning, Luka drops his head and nibbles at her neck, sliding his hands under her, he lifts her hips and slips inside her, moving slowly, inch by inch until he’s buried deep. His lips curve when Abby groans as he flexes his hips, moving just enough to torture her. 
 
“Tease.” Abby grips his hair and pulls his mouth to hers, wrapping her legs around his hips, she starts to move against him, setting the pace for them both.
 
Luka lifts her hips further, letting her move against him, only circling his hips a little until he can’t take it any longer. He crushes his mouth to hers and starts to thrust, hard and deep while Abby matches his pace, moaning as he shoves her legs back to go deeper. 
 
Dropping his forehead to hers, he murmurs in Croatian while he moves. Words of love and devotion bubbling up from deep inside himself. He didn’t need to express himself in English, Abby knew his heart and that it was hers. He smiles while she clenches around him, choking out his name when the orgasm slams through her. Groaning, Luka takes her lips again and empties himself inside her. 
 
Smiling, Abby wraps her arms around his neck when he collapses on top of her. “I guess you showed

me.”

“Huh?” Luka is content to lie there, still inside her, nuzzling her neck. 
 
Toying with his hair, Abby giggles. “I issued a challenge and you delivered. Very well, I might add.”
 
“Oh.” Luka rolls so she’s blanketed over him. He grins up at her when she crosses her arms over his chest and smiles at him. “Well, you make it pretty easy.”
 
Snorting, Abby leans down to kiss his chin. “Don’t try to be humble

now.

”
 
Stroking his hands up and down her sides, he chuckles. “Never.” Luka draws her head down for a kiss. “I love you. You’re just what I wanted for Christmas.”
 
Abby snuggles her head under his chin and starts to drift. “Good.”

**********************************

Abby sits up and pulls the throw around herself. “Luka?”
 
Coming out of the kitchen with a plate and glass in his hand, he smiles at her. “Right here.” 
 
“What are you doing?” He looks pretty cute, wearing just his boxers, his hair a tumbled mess. Abby feels her blood heat again. 
 
Luka holds out the plate and sits beside her. “Cookies for Santa.” 
 
Abby stares at him, trying not to laugh. “Seriously? You know Joe won’t remember this, right?”
 
“I know. But this way, we get cookies at two a.m.” He grins and hands her one. 
 
“You’re ridiculous. Or a genius. I can’t decide which.” Abby leans her head on his shoulder while she bites into the cookie. 
 
“Both, probably.” Luka tips his head so it’s resting on hers. 
 
Abby sighs and smiles, enjoying the quiet moment. “The lights are pretty.”
 
Luka kisses her head. “They are. Almost as pretty as you.”
 
Abby’s lips curve. “Sweet talker.” Finishing her cookie, she wraps her arms around his waist. “What you said earlier…”
 
“About what?”
 
Abby tilts her head back to look in his eyes. “About running to me. That’s got to be one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard you say. Scratch that. It

is

the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”
 
Luka wraps his arm around her more tightly. “It’s just the truth. I realized it awhile ago. You’re my reason, Abby. All of the shit we’ve been through, it’s only made us stronger. It’s been a long road, but you’ve always been the one.”
 
Abby tilts her head back to kiss him. “It’s the same for me, you know that, right? When I ran, I never went very far.”
 
“I know.” Luka kisses her cheek, then her temple, stroking a hand over her tumbled hair. “I meant everything I said.”
 
Abby nods, squeezing his hand. It was still so hard to trust  in those things, but she was trying. Right now, they were here, together, and that was everything. She tilts her head back to look in his eyes. “Merry Christmas, Luka.”
 
Luka presses his lips to hers, wrapping himself around her and pulling her back down to the floor with him. “Merry Christmas, Abby.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka is working on a pretty decent buzz when the woman slides onto the bar stool beside him. Smirking, he turns his head to maybe flirt a little and nearly chokes.
 
“Jesus, Kovač, you’ve got to pull yourself together.” Susan lifts her brows at him.
 
Luka shrugs and lifts his drink. “Why?” he mutters.
 
Susan sighs. “Buy me a drink?”
 
Luka quirks a brow at her. “Really Susan?”
 
She snorts. “You’re not my type, Luka. I just want a damn drink.”
 
Luka signals the bartender. “Get the lady whatever she likes.” shaking his head when his new best friend, the barkeep, smirks at him, he turns back to Susan. “What are you doing here?”
 
“What? I can’t slum it now and then?” Susan wrinkles her nose. “This place is definitely a slum.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “I’m trying not to go to places I might run into people from work.” he lifts a brow at her. “How did you know I was here?”
 
Susan shrugs. “I didn’t, actually.” She toasts him when the bartender delivers her whiskey. “I was doing the same thing you were.”
 
“Ah.You’re going to cramp my style.” Luka cocks his head at her.
 
“You can take a night off from fucking anything with tits and have a drink or two with a friend.” Susan rolls her eyes.
 
Luka gives a short laugh. “I didn’t realize we were friends.”
 
Susan softens and sighs. “Of course we are. Sorry I’ve been so bitchy lately, but you’ve got to admit you’ve been a total dick. I don’t have time for that shit.”
 
Luka shrugs, feeling the usual shame roll through him. “I’ve had a lot going on.”
 
Susan turns on the stool and signals the bartender for another round. “Luka, we all know what’s been going on.”
 
“Do you?” he mutters.
 
“Yeah. Abby and Carter.” Susan nearly relents when she sees the pain shoot into his eyes, but the man really needed a Come-To-Jesus, and since Abby was being an ass and refusing to talk to Luka about it, Susan figures he needs to hear it from

somebody.

“Listen, I know I wasn’t around to see how things went down while you were together…”
 
“You mean you weren’t around to watch your pal Carter manipulate Abby and chip away at our relationship trying to prove he’s the better man?” Luka snorts and drinks. “I’m just proving him right.”
 
“Yeah, the last few months you have been.” Susan lifts a brow when he rolls his eyes. “Luka, I see the way you look at her. We

all

see it. You’re still in love with her.”
 
Luka shifts uncomfortably. He hadn’t realized he was so obvious. “So?” he sits his drink down and leans back. “It doesn’t matter. She’s in love with Carter now.” 
 
Susan opens her mouth to speak and then thinks better of it. Abby’s feelings were her story to tell, but Susan’s pretty sure Abby isn’t in love with Carter. Not really. She clears her throat. “She still cares about you, Luka.”
 
“Does she?” he murmurs. “She has a funny way of showing it.”
 
Susan smiles in sympathy. “Come on, Luka. It’s

Abby

. You know how she is.”
 
Luka softens. “Yeah. Better than anybody.” He shakes his head. “Listen, I’ll be better at work. I’ll stay away from patients' mothers.”
 
Susan sighs at his subject change. “Fine. We all just want you to be okay.” She glances over to the corner of the nearly empty bar and grins. “Want to shoot some pool? Loser buys the next round.”
 
Luka resigns himself to maybe actually having a little fun rather than tormenting himself. He grins at her. “Prepare to buy the drinks, Lewis.”
 
***********************************************

Susan’s impressed. Even half-drunk, Luka is a hell of a pool player. “What? Did you have nothing better to do in Croatia than play pool?” She lines up her shot, weaving a little, while Luka snorts. The eight ball slides into the corner pocket. “Shit.”
 
“Maybe I’m just naturally talented.” Luka leans on the table and takes another drink. 
 
Susan grins at him. “That’s what I’ve heard.” She doubles over with laughter when Luka blushes. “Okay,

now

I see it.”
 
“See what?” Luka takes her elbow and drags her back over to the bar to sit down before she falls down. 
 
“What all the women see in you, besides your looks.” Susan laughs even harder when she sees the look of abject terror on his face. “No, no.” Giggling, she waves a hand at him. “You’re still not my type, even when I’m this drunk. Plus...girl code.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows. “What the hell is a girl code?”
 
Susan snorts. “You don’t screw around with your friend’s exes. It’s not cool.”
 
Luka smirks. “Didn’t Abby already break the girl code then?”
 
Susan shakes her head. “Not really. For one thing, Carter and I never slept together. That makes a difference.”
 
“That’s more information than I needed.” Luka gives her an amused grin while he shoves coffee in front of her. 
 
Susan frowns at the coffee. “You’re going to kill my buzz.” she mutters. Shrugging, she sips. “Anyways, besides that, I gave them my blessing beforehand.”
 
Luka gives her a baleful glance. “Thanks for that.”
 
Susan snickers. “I knew Carter was hung up on Abby the whole time we were together. He’s such a dumbass, he really thought nobody noticed.” She waves a hand when Luka snorts. “What I

didn’t

know was how hung up on you

she

was.” She frowns and shrugs. “So maybe that was stupid.”
 
Luka feels a spark of hope that he tries to crush. “You think she’s still hung up on me?”
 
Susan rolls her eyes. “Why do you think she’s pushing you away? She’s trying to be happy with Carter, but it’s pretty obvious she still has feelings for you. I give them another three months, tops.” She squints at him. “How’d you let him steal her, anyways?”
 
“He didn’t

steal

her. I just let it happen because I’m a fucking moron.” Luka sighs. “I’m not good for her, Susan. We’re not good for each other.”
 
Susan shrugs. “Sure you are. You both get in your own way, and you’re both emotionally stunted, at least when it comes to expressing yourselves. It’s something stupid you have in common, and I guess that’s not the best thing in a relationship. But who knows? You either get over it or you wait it out.”
 
Luka scrubs his hands over his face. “It’s been almost two years since we broke up. If I’m not over it by now…”
 
Susan lays a hand on his arm. “Exactly. But in the meantime, stop being such a dick.”
 
The corner of Luka’s mouth tilts up. “I’ll work on it.” he pulls out his wallet to pay. “You didn’t drive, did you?”
 
Susan squints at the cash he lays on the bar. “I owe you for the pool games I lost.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Nah. The company was better than I had planned on, so we’re even.”
 
“Really? That’s sweet. Thanks.” She gives him a tipsy smile.
 
“Yeah. You didn’t answer me. You’re not driving are you?” 
 
“No. I walked. I live…” she closes one eye and points at the door.
 
Luka chuckles. “Well come on, I’ll walk you home.”
 
Susan narrows her eyes as she gets to her feet. “Don’t get any ideas, Kovač.” 
 
Luka slings an arm around her shoulders. “Sorry, Susan, you’re not my type either.”

********************************************************

Luka gives Susan a tentative smile when she finds him at admit. “Are we still friends?”
 
She smirks at him. “So far, so good.” Susan pulls a chart from the rack. “Thanks for getting me home, seriously.”
 
Luka shrugs. “That’s what friends do when one of them is falling down drunk.” He grins at her.
 
“I wasn’t…” Susan shakes her head when Luka lifts a brow. “Okay, yeah I was. That’s why I usually stick to beer.” Luka snorts and starts to walk away. “Hey Luka?”
 
“Yeah?” 
 
“I want a rematch.” Susan smiles at him when he chuckles and nods. She startles when Abby comes around the desk, feeling guilty for absolutely no reason.
 
“What was that about?” Abby gives Susan a confused glance. “Since when are you and Luka so chummy?”
 
“Since last night, apparently.” Susan sighs when Abby grabs her arm and pulls her into the lounge. 
 
“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to explain that.” Abby stares at her. 
 
Susan snorts. She loves Abby, she really does, but Jesus she was a mess when it came to interpersonal relationships. “I didn’t sleep with him.” Susan tries to control her smile when Abby’s tense shoulders visibly relax. “God, do I have to explain girl code to you, too?”
 
Abby’s lips twitch. “No. I take it you had to explain it to Luka?” Her eyes widen. “Did he

try

to sleep with you?”
 
Susan flops down on the couch. “No. I think I scare him.”
 
Abby laughs. “Actually, you’re probably right.” She sits beside Susan.
 
“I ran into him when I went into one of the bars down my block for a drink. We hung out and played some pool. He walked me home because I had a few too many.” Susan shrugs. “That’s it. Luka’s a nice guy, and a better man than I gave him credit for.”
 
Abby nods a little and looks down at her hands. “He’s great. I’m worried about him.” she almost whispers it.
 
“I know.” Susan cocks a brow at her friend. “You should talk to him.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “I want to, but...We have a hard time talking to each other. Too much baggage, and our feelings get in the way.”
 
Susan sighs. “Abby, it’s none of my business, but you should stop pushing him away.”
 
“It’s complicated, Susan.” 
 
“Why? Because Carter will get pissy?” Susan rolls her eyes when Abby nods a little. “Abby, he’ll get pissy anyways. That’s what Carter

does

. He’s jealous and possessive, even when he doesn’t have any right or reason to be. At least this way, you and Luka will feel better and you might salvage your friendship at least.”
 
Abby looks away, and Susan feels her heart twist for her friend. “I don’t know if there’s anything to salvage.” 
 
Susan snorts. “You’re lying to yourself if you actually believe that.” 
 
Abby sighs. “You weren’t here for it, Susan. It was a mess.”
 
“No. But I was here for the aftermath and I see the connection you two have, no matter how hard you try to hide it.” Susan rolls her eyes when Abby shrugs. “Just think about it. Luka deserves better than being miserable all the time. So do you.”
 
Abby lifts her brows when Susan gets to her feet. “I thought you were ‘Team Carter’?”
 
“I’m team ‘my friends should be happy’. That includes Luka, regardless of what Carter thinks.” Susan moves to the door. “Abby? Does Carter make you happy?”
 
Abby shrugs. “As happy as I ever am.”
 
“That’s what I thought. Quit being an ass and talk to Luka.”

****************************************

February 2006

Susan grins and picks up her ringing phone. “Hi!”
 
“Hi. I figured I owed you a call.”
 
Susan rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sorry I’ve been kind of out of touch. Settling in to

Iowa

has been an experience.” 
 
“Worse than Arizona?” Abby chuckles. 
 
“I guess not. So what’s happening in Chicago?”
 
“Luka’s ER chief.”
 
Susan chokes on the sip of wine she was taking. “

Seriously?

”
 
Abby laughs. “Yeah. He applied because Kerry’s other candidate was a train wreck of a human.” 
 
Susan snorts. “They must be bad if Luka decided to take it on.”
 
“He’s okay. Like Kerry said, he’s an excellent physician with some personal problems. Nothing new at County. But Luka’s doing a great job with it.”
 
Something in Abby’s voice has Susan curious. “Is that pride I hear?”
 
“Um...yeah, I guess. We’re ah, back together.”
 
Susan lets out a delighted laugh. “About time.”
 
Abby sighs. “Yeah. I’m not exactly sure how it happened.”
 
Susan rolls her eyes and mutters. “I could tell you.”
 
“Also, I’m pregnant.”
 
Susan sputters. “

What?”

Abby giggles. “Yeah. I know how

that

happened.”
 
“Well, wow. Are you doing okay?”
 
“I am. We both want this. Luka’s hovering is a little annoying, but it’s kind of nice too.”
 
“Are you guys...you know. Getting married?”
 
It’s Abby’s turn to sputter. “What? No.”
 
Susan smiles a little. “Yeah. For what it’s worth, you’ve been in love with him for years. If you’re supposed to marry anyone, it’s got to be Luka.”
 
“I know it. It’s just not...that easy.”
 
Susan cocks her head. “Why?”
 
Abby snorts. “I have no idea.”
 
“Yeah. I know the two of you. We’ll all need social security before it happens.”
 
Abby smiles a little. “I don’t know about that.”
 
“Well, I’m happy for you both. Give him my love and tell him if he fucks this up, I’m kicking his ass.”
 
Twenty minutes later Susan hangs up the phone and snuggles next to Chuck on the couch. 
 
He strokes her hair. “Abby?”
 
“Yeah. She’s pregnant.”
 
“Who’s the daddy?” Chuck cocks his head. 
 
“Luka.”
 
He pulls back to stare at her. “What happened to Sam?”
 
Susan shrugs. “Don’t know, don’t care. Abby’s who Luka’s

always

wanted to be with anyways. Him and Sam were just playing house. Luka’s dense that way. But he’s always been in love with Abby.”
 
Chuck chuckles. “Yeah. I always thought there was something there, but…”
 
Susan laughs and leans forward to kiss him. “Oh, babe. You have no idea. Let me tell you a story…”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

January 10, 2038

“Grandpa Luka says funny things.” Clara giggles in the backseat. 
 
Joe slides his eyes over to his wife and shrugs. “Grandpa is from another country. He’s still being stubborn and refusing to talk like an American.”
 
Delaney reaches back to catch Suzanna’s sippy cup before it tumbles to the floor of the car. She gives Joe a mock scowl. “Quiet. Your dad’s the best.” She grins at Clara. “He gives the best hugs in the world.”
 
Joe shakes his head and pouts a little. “My hugs are pretty good.”
 
Delaney smirks. “Yeah. But you don’t have the accent. Or the charm.”
 
Joe raises a brow. “Do you have a crush on my dad?”
 
Delaney leans over to kiss his shoulder. “Of course. Why do you think I married you?”
 
The corner of Joe’s lip twitches. “It all makes sense now.”
 
Del laughs. “Hey. I knew your parents before I even met you, remember?” She wiggles her brows. “I’ve got a crush on your mom too.”
 
“It’s grandma’s birthday.” Suzanna pipes up from the back while Joe snorts. 
 
“How old is grandma?”
 
Clara kicks her feet and furrows her brow. She shrugs. “She’s a grandma.”
 
Joe snickers and pulls into the driveway of the house he’d grown up in. “Good answer.”
 
He climbs out of the car and opens the backseat to find Clara already climbing out. “Hold on, monkey.” Joe tugs her pigtail. “How come you can never be still?”
 
“I want to see Grandma and Grandpa.” 
 
Joe grins and watches her run toward the door. “Me too.” He murmurs. Living and working in New York has been a good choice for them, but Joe really misses home. He reaches for Delaney’s hand while Luka opens the door. Joe watches his father’s eyes light up.
 
“Bubicas!” He scoops both girls into his arms at once, grinning from ear to ear. He glances up and smiles at Joe. “Your mom’s coming. She was taking the cookies out when we heard you.”
 
Joe strides forward to hug his father. “Mom made cookies?” he mutters. 
 
Luka smirks. “Be nice. She tried.”
 
Abby peeks around his shoulder. “Shut up. Both of you.” She crouches down to hug her granddaughters. “Don’t listen to your dad. The cookies are gonna be great.” 
 
Suzanna smiles angelically. “Are we having birthday cake?”
 
Luka smiles. “Of course. After dinner. The cookies are because your grandma says they’re a requirement to have them.”
 
Delaney grins and hugs Abby. “Every grandma should have cookies available. You look great.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “For seventy, I guess I’m hanging in there.”
 
Luka strokes his hand down her arm. “You’re as beautiful as the day I met you.”
 
Abby snorts. “Sure.” But she leans her head on his shoulder. 
 
Joe makes a face. “You guys. Still with the groping.”
 
Abby smirks and takes his face in her hands. “Shut up, Joe.” She kisses him. “I missed you.”
 
Joe wraps his arms around her. “Me too.”

**********************************

“You’re still taking shifts?” Joe frowns at his father. “Dad….”
 
Luka shrugs as he makes a turn on their way to pick up takeout for Abby’s birthday dinner. “Do I look like an invalid, Josip?”
 
Joe rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”
 
Luka sighs. “Joe...I don’t know if you can really understand what being a doctor means to me. And your mother.”
 
“Is she still taking shifts too?”
 
“Not much. She’s on the per diem list but she rarely accepts. She’s tutoring.” Luka smiles a little.
 
“Really? Mom?” Joe chuckles.
 
“Yeah. Reading and science. She’s good at it.” Luka sighs. “Joe, we both need things to keep ourselves busy. We love each other madly, but we figured out after about a month of us both being retired that we would probably murder each other if we were just sitting at home together all day.”
 
Joe snorts. Knowing his parents, the accuracy of that statement was kind of hilarious. “As long as you’re happy.”
 
Luka grins. “Of course we are.” He looks over and lifts a brow. “Still groping each other, aren’t we?”
 
“Gross.” But Joe’s smile widens. “Del and I are thinking about having another baby.”
 
Luka smiles. “That will be good. You’re a great father.”
 
Joe shifts a little. “I had a good example.”
 
Luka’s eyes soften. “That’s the best compliment you can give me.”
 
Joe grins. “It’s just the truth. It was kind of nice having twins the first time. Double bonus and only one pregnancy.”
 
Luka snorts. “I told your mom that you might be twins and completely freaked her out.”
 
“That’s just mean, dad.”
 
“She deserved it.” Luka pulls into the lot of the restaurant. “Run in and get the food, yeah?”

*************************************

Abby leans back on the counter and sips her tea. She nods toward the living room where the girls were curled on the couch together. “So they do run out of energy occasionally?”
 
Delaney snorts and opens a sparkling water. “Rarely.”
 
Abby laughs. “Joe was the same way. He never stopped moving, until he collapsed.”
 
Delaney laughs. “That hasn’t changed all that much.”
 
Abby nods and rolls her eyes. “He gets it from Luka.”
 
“Keeps you young, right?” 
 
Abby sighs. “I suppose. But Jesus, he makes me tired sometimes.” She shrugs. “I always thought being this old would mean sitting in our rocking chairs and watching TV. I should have known better, being married to that man.”
 
Delaney snorts. “You’re not

that

old, Abby. Ah, just to give you a heads up, Joe and I are talking about moving back here.”
 
Abby straightens. “Really?”
 
“I think so. My fellowship is almost finished, and his firm is looking to start a branch here. They want him to run it.”
 
Abby tries to temper her smile, considering she wants to dance, but she knows it has to be their decision. “How do you feel about that?”
 
“Good.” Delaney lets out a laugh. “Really good. We love New York, but Boston is home. We want to move probably this summer, so the girls can start school here.”
 
Abby grins. “That makes me so happy. Luka will be over the moon about it.” She cocks her head. “Not that it’s about us.”
 
Delaney shakes her head. “It partially is. We miss you guys. I want the girls to have both sets of grandparents close. It’s important to both Joe and I so…”
 
Abby frowns. “Just don’t make big life decisions based on what you think we want. You guys have to do what

you

want.”
 
Delaney smiles. “This is what we want, Abby. Don’t worry about that.”
 
“I’m not. I’m thrilled that we might have you guys closer again.” Abby moves over to hug her. “You know, being a mom was pretty great. Being a grandma is even better.”
 
Del smirks. “You just want to spoil them and send them home to be monsters.”
 
Abby snorts. “Well, duh.” She grins when Luka and Joe come through the back door. “Yay, food.”
 
Luka tilts her head back for a kiss. “Happy birthday. You know my love knows no bounds since we’re having sushi.”
 
“For someone who loves fish, you sure have a weird aversion to seaweed.”
 
Luka shrugs. “That’s why we get weird looks when I order it without. But it’s nice that Jaku accommodates me.”
 
Abby shakes her head and turns for plates. Delaney brushes her aside and points at the table. “Sit down, birthday girl. Your son and I will set the table.”
 
Abby smiles and sits. “It’s nice to be Queen.”

**************************

Abby leans her head on Luka’s shoulder and watches Joe and Del scoop up their sleeping grandchildren to carry them up to bed. She sighs. “Good night.”
 
Joe grins at them. “Pancakes in the morning, dad?”
 
Luka smirks. “Of course.”
 
“Thanks. Night.” Joe follows Delaney up the stairs. 
 
Luka slides his arm around Abby. “They’re thinking of having another.”
 
Abby tilts her head up to grin at him. “Really?”
 
“Yeah. Joe told me when we went to get the food.”
 
She smiles. “I’ve got good news too. They’re probably moving home this summer.”
 
He tightens his arm around her shoulders. “Thank God. I know they needed to be in New York, and I’ve got no room to talk about a son and his family being so far away…”
 
“Luka, that was completely different.” She draws back to look in his eyes. The same gorgeous blue-green eyes she had fallen in love with over thirty-five years ago. “The reasons were different. And you always encouraged Joe’s dreams.”
 
Luka leans forward to kiss her. “I know. I just mean I’m a little guilty for being so relieved they’re coming home.”
 
Abby smiles and rises to tug him up. “Don’t be. Del made it clear this is what they want. Her parents are here too, you know. They want the girls and any future arrivals near their grandparents. Both sets. That’s a good thing, Luka.”
 
“It is.” He smiles down at her at the top of the stairs. “Are you ready for your special present?” 
 
Abby smirks at him. “If it’s the same one I get every year, then yes, I am.”
 
“

Geez

Dad!” Joe calls out from the guest room. 
 
Abby glances over to see the door cracked. “Oops.” She can hear Delaney’s muffled laughter. “Quiet, you two.” Abby pulls the door closed. 
 
Luka chuckles. “Still embarrassing him, aren’t we.”
 
Abby rises on her toes to kiss him at the door to their bedroom. “That’s our job.”
 
Luka deepens the kiss. “Happy birthday, Abby.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby scrubs her hands over her face and sits down near the side of the roof. She has had it with everything today. She glances up when Luka steps over and shoves his coffee at her. 
 
“You look like you need this.” he murmurs.
 
Abby studies him. “What are you doing up here? You

never

come up here.”
 
Luka shrugs. “I don’t like the height that much.”
 
Abby’s lips quirk up. “So you

are

afraid of something.” She glances up and sees the shutters come down over his eyes. Abby sighs. “Sorry. I’m a bitch right now and not fit for company.”
 
Luka sits beside her. “Anything I can do?”
 
She rolls her shoulders and drops her head back. This was the first time he’d spoken above three words in a row to her, outside of work related stuff, in a few weeks. Which was part of the reason she was so irritated at the moment.

You could actually talk to me now and then

. “No.”
 
Luka studies her and smiles a little, knowing better than to push. The fact was, he missed her, but he needed some space. “Okay. Take your time coming down. It’s slow.”
 
Abby nods and watches him rise and leave, feeling a little twist in her heart. Jesus, she needed to get over

that

particular hang-up. But she really missed his friendship, regardless of what she knew damn well her heart wanted. He was with Sam, and seemed happy enough, even if they snarked at each other constantly. Abby rolls her eyes and snorts at herself. Like she has room to talk. 
 
Abby tips her head back and reaches into her pocket for her cigarettes, something she had been trying to avoid, and lights one, letting the nicotine roll through her. She closes her eyes. 
 
“Hey.”
 
Abby opens her eyes and glares up at Carter. “Jesus. I just wanted some solitude. Did Luka send you up here?”
 
Carter holds up his hands and smirks. “No. I didn’t even know you were here.” He sits in Luka’s vacated spot. “Who or what pissed you off, and do I need to kick an ass?”
 
Abby laughs a little. “Everything and everyone. And no.” 
 
“Then what’s wrong?”
 
She sighs. “I don’t know. The internship is stressing me out, I guess. Neela is driving me crazy. Every single patient I had today was an asshole. Luka’s been a dick lately.”
 
Carter smiles a little. “Ah. There it is.”
 
“What?” She cocks her head at him. 
 
Carter shakes his head. “Abby, come on.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Yeah.”
 
Carter glances at her out of the corner of his eye. “Is it about Sam?”
 
Abby shrugs. “I don’t know. He barely talks to me anymore, unless it has to do with work. I guess he…”
 
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe he’s trying to make it work with Sam, and being around you is hard for him?”
 
Abby gapes at him. “

No!

” She shakes her head. “Why would it be hard for him?”
 
Carter snorts. “Jesus.”
 
“Spit it out, Carter.”
 
“Abby, he’s never got over you. You’ve got to be blind if you don’t see that.”
 
Abby sputters “You have

got

to be kidding me. He’s been over me for years. We’re friends. At least I thought we were.” 
 
Carter leans back and chuckles. “Listen, he’s never told me, but it’s pretty damn obvious. Even when we were in Africa, Luka was protective of you.”
 
Her brow furrows. “What?”
 
Carter shakes his head. “Nothing. The point is, he met someone else who he likes well enough to try with. He’s not in love with her.”
 
“How do you know that?” Abby looks over at him. 
 
Carter gives her a soft look. “Because I’ve seen Luka in love. This isn’t what it looks like.”
 
Abby swallows and shrugs. This conversation was pointless since Luka

was

trying with Sam. “I just wish he wouldn’t push me away.”
 
Carter grins. “You’re the expert at that.”
 
Ouch. Abby scowls at him. “I know. Dammit.” she mutters.
 
“Do you want me to say something to him?”
 
“What is this, high school?” She shakes her head and sighs. “No. I don’t want to make it worse, and that probably would.”
 
Carter shrugs. “Or, it would make him stop being an oblivious idiot.” He shakes his head when she rolls her eyes. “Your call.”
 
Abby leans her chin on her fist. “How are you doing with everything?”
 
Carter smiles a little. “As well as you’d expect.”
 
“Uh huh. Talked to Kem lately?” She grins and bumps his knee. “I know what love looks like on you, too. You never looked at me that way.”
 
Carter smiles a little sadly. “I know. I know what real love is now. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “You didn’t. Not really. I really do think we had to try it. On paper, we’re a good match. We

should

have worked. In reality…”
 
“A raging trash fire?” Carter grins when she laughs. 
 
“Yeah. I guess I should thank you for that stupid letter.”
 
“Hey. I’ll have you know that I put a lot of effort into that thing.” Carter grins. 
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “And you sent it to me with

Luka

.” She pokes his arm. “Talk about insult to injury.”
 
Carter’s grin fades and he winces. “I

am

sorry that it hurt you.”
 
Abby cocks her head. “It didn’t really hurt me. It pissed me off, and it annoyed me that you couldn’t be bothered to even call, but it was time to put it out of its misery.” She smiles a little. “My favorite part was the kerosene. Did you have other letters to write?”
 
Carter shakes his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Pretty stupid, huh?”
 
Abby shrugs. “Water under the bridge, John. It’s fine. I hope you and Kem work it out.”
 
He smiles a little. “Me too. She needs space and I’m trying to give it to her.”
 
Abby licks her lips. “Ah. Growth.”
 
Carter bumps his shoulder against hers. “Took me long enough, huh?”
 
“Too long. But I’m proud of you for that.” She draws her knees up and drops her forehead to them. “Have you been to any meetings lately?”
 
Carter sighs. “No. I don’t…”
 
“You don’t need it?” She turns her face toward him. “You know better. Didn’t your

little slip

teach you anything?”
 
Carter hunches his shoulders. “I don’t know that…”
 
Abby straightens and glares at him. “Listen. We’re not a couple anymore, but I still care about you and I care about your recovery. You need to practice what you preach, otherwise, you’re just a hypocritical, condescending asshole.”
 
Carter gapes at her. “Well, ouch. Bullseye.” He shakes his head. “You’re right.” 
 
Abby’s lips curve. “I know.”
 
Carter snorts and rises. “I have to get back down. You gonna be okay?”
 
Abby nods and sighs. “Yeah. I’ll be down in a minute. I really do want some alone time, and I haven’t had any.”
 
Carter nods. “Okay.”
 
Abby shifts her eyes to the sky and groans after he leaves. Why does her life have to be so damn complicated? She really just wants some time where she’s happy and there’s nothing to worry about. Happiness, especially in a relationship, is something that’s almost always eluded her, even when she actively

tries

to be. She wasn’t sure she had ever truly been happy with Richard. She had been crazy about him, in that way that young love tended to be. But that relationship was as toxic as they came. Luka had made her happy, for a while. So happy that it scared the shit out of her and made her do what she always has, run away. Carter had made her pretty happy too, even though that brand of happiness was completely different than what she’d had with Luka. It was more about feeling safe than anything else, until she started second guessing everything to live up to his expectations. Abby sighs and shrugs. Was it always fleeting? As much as Abby wants to believe that people could find it together, it really hasn’t been her experience, so she doubts she’ll ever find real love like that. 
 
Opening her eyes and rising to stretch, Abby decides that she really needs to learn to just be happy by herself. No men. No dating. Just herself. She pulls open the door to the stairs. Maybe if she does

that

she'll eventually meet somebody to add to it. And maybe make him happy too. 
 
Pushing through, oddly settled on that point, she nearly plows into Luka. “Oh. Sorry.”
 
He gives her a genuine smile and shrugs. “It’s okay. I was in the way.” 
 
Smiling back, she teases him. “Well, there’s a lot of you.”
 
Luka’s lips quirk up at the corner and his eyes sparkle at her. “Yeah. Ah, listen, good job today. I know it was rough.”
 
Abby shrugs. “I knew what I signed up for. I really want to get done and go home though.”
 
Luka puts his hand on her arm. “You should do that. Go home and relax. And don’t worry about people being dicks.” he raises a brow. 
 
Abby’s mouth curves as she rolls her eyes.

Carter, you jackass.

“I’ll do that.”
 
Luka squeezes once and winks at her. “Good. See you tomorrow.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Luka! How are you?”
 
Luka smiles at the cheer in his father’s voice. “I’m well, Tata. I haven’t called in awhile, so I wanted to fix that. How are

you

?”
 
“Oh, I’m doing just fine. Do you have news or is this just a check in?” 
 
Chuckling, Luka leans a hip on the kitchen island. “How well you know me. Ah, Abby and I are back together.”
 
Josip clears his throat and mutters. “It’s about time.”
 
“What?” Luka can

hear

his father’s eyeroll. 
 
“If you don’t think I was always hoping for that, and that I knew

you

were always hoping for it, you’re stupid.”
 
Luka shrugs and shifts. “How did you know what I didn’t? Or actually what I didn’t want to admit. You don’t even know her.” 
 
“And whose fault is that?” Josip laughs at Luka’s audible sigh. “I don’t need to know her to know what she is to you.”
 
Luka cradles the phone under his chin. “And what’s that?”
 
“The woman you’ve been in love with for six years. I know

you

dječak.”
 
“I’ve been living with Sam…”
 
Josip cuts him off. “And you never once sounded happy when you called this past year. Now you do. I saw you when you were with Abby. I hadn’t seen you look so happy or so smitten since your wedding day to Danijela.”
 
Luka lets out a laugh. His father always had his finger on the pulse of the family and especially his children. “Am I an idiot for taking so long to figure it out?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Just checking.” Luka grins. “Well, since you’re happy to hear about Abby, you’ll probably be even happier to know that we’re going to have a baby.” 
 
“Luka…” Josip clears his throat. “Nothing could make me happier. How is Abby feeling?”
 
“She’s doing okay. A little nausea and morning sickness, but she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
 
“Does that surprise you?” 
 
Luka’s lips curve. “A little. She wasn’t sure she wanted to ever have children, but now she’s kind of thrown herself into it. I have to admit, it’s pretty great.”
 
“Are you going to marry her?” 
 
Luka snorts. “I haven’t brought it up. I love her madly, so I know her very well. I need to find the right time.”
 
Josip scowls. “Are you scared?”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Terrified. But only of scaring

her

and losing her again.”
 
Josip laughs. “I think you’re smarter these days. She probably is too.”
 
“She’s too smart. That’s the problem. She worries about everything that could go wrong. I’m working on her moving in with me. Little steps.”
 
“Just give her time. She’ll come around.”
 
“I hope so. I feel like…” Luka trails off. 
 
“What do you feel like?” Josip murmurs softly.
 
“Like everything I’ve ever wanted is right here, within reach, and I can’t quite figure out how to hold onto it.”
 
“You will.” Josip smiles. “You’re a patient man, Luka. It’s one of the best things about you. Your stupidity aside, you love her, you’re having a baby together. She’ll get there.”
 
“I hope so. I’ve never felt this way before. Abby’s more complicated than Danielja was. Not in a bad way…” he hurries on when his father sighs. “I just mean the situation is strange and it’s different. But I know we’re meant to be together.”
 
“Then you will be. How far along is she?”
 
“Twelve weeks. Through the first trimester.” Luka grins and chuckles. “She’s starting to show just a little.”
 
“That soon?”
 
“Abby’s tiny, so yeah. It’s not anything you’d notice unless you know, but it’s sweet to see.” 
 
Josip grins. “I’m so happy for you, Luka. Truly. Will you bring Abby and the baby to see us after he’s born?”
 
Luka clears his throat. “Yeah. Or...maybe you can come visit us here.” 
 
Josip hisses. “Luka, you should come home and see the rest. Including Niko. He misses you.”
 
Luka sighs. “I miss him too. I just…”
 
“Bah. The two of you try my patience. Both too stubborn and proud to admit you were both wrong and make things up.”
 
Luka snorts. “Someday, Tata. I promise.” Luka glances over when he hears the door open, and smiles when Abby comes in. “Ah, Abby’s here. I should go.”
 
“Alright. Give her my best. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”
 
“Yeah. I’ll keep you updated. I love you.”
 
“I love you back. Get started on convincing that girl to marry you.”
 
Luka chuckles. “I will. Bye.”
 
Luka hangs up the phone and leans down to kiss Abby. “Hi.”
 
“Hi.” Abby runs a hand over his shoulder, not wanting to be nosy, but she’s curious. “Who was that?”
 
“My father. He sends his best.”
 
Abby smiles. “Send mine back to him. I hope I meet him someday.”
 
Luka nods and pulls her over to the couch. “He feels the same way about you.”
 
Abby leans her head on Luka’s shoulder and yawns. “I’m starving.”
 
He turns his cheek to rub it over her hair. “How does Thai sound?”
 
Abby turns her head to smile at him. He seemed relaxed and content to just be here. With her. “It sounds really good. After you feed me, maybe I can talk you into a foot rub?” 
 
Luka chuckles and kisses her head. Rising, he picks up the phone to call for takeout. “I don’t think it will take much talking.” He smiles while she grins at him and dials the phone.

***************************

Sighing, Abby pulls her sweater out of a drawer and wraps it around herself. The relief she felt over the amnio results was a lot bigger than she expected. And as hard as Luka tried to hide it and reassure her, she knew he had been worried too. Thirty-eight isn’t exactly ancient, but pregnancy abnormalities started ticking upward at her age. Knowing that their baby was healthy and that her pregnancy was progressing well….like she told Luka. It made it seem so real. 
 
Shaking her head, Abby picks up the phone and dials, wondering what she would hear on the other end. 
 
“Hello?”
 
Taking a breath, Abby dives right in. “Hi Maggie, it’s me.”
 
“Abby! How are you?” 
 
“I have some good news, mom.” Abby turns and studies the window. 
 
“Well, spit it out. What’s going on?” Maggie fusses at her. 
 
Abby chuckles a little. At least Maggie seems to be level and on her meds. “I’m pregnant.”
 
There’s a long silence making Abby’s nerves start to fray. 
 
“You said it was good news, so I’m guessing you really want this?” Maggie asks quietly. 
 
“Yeah. I’m...I’m finally in the right place....” she smiles a little. “And with the right person.”
 
Maggie clears her throat. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”
 
Abby laughs. “Yeah. It all happened pretty fast.”
 
Maggie frowns. “Abby, how can you know this person is right if it…”
 
Abby cuts her off. “Mom, it’s Luka.”
 
“Oh.

Oh.”

Maggie lets out a delighted laugh. “Well in that case.” 
 
Abby rolls her eyes and grins a little. “Yeah.” 
 
“He never got over you, did he.” Maggie says it as a statement, not a question. 
 
Abby shifts. “I don’t...I don’t know. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever got over him either.”
 
Maggie’s eyebrows wing up. “Even while you were with John?”
 
Abby sighs. “Carter was the safe choice, mom. I didn’t think he could hurt me because I was never really in love with him.” She fumbles a little. “I mean…”
 
“I think I know what you mean.” Maggie says gently. “You loved him, but you weren’t

in

love. At least not the kind you needed it to be.”
 
Abby blows out a breath. Whatever her faults, Maggie actually

got

it. “Yeah.”
 
“Well I’m glad he didn’t ask you to marry him, then.”
 
Abby’s jaw drops. “How did you know about

that

?”
 
Maggie snorts. “He told me he was going to propose. He mentioned that he wanted to marry you so he could make you better. I told him that he only deserved you if he could love you, faults and all.”
 
Abby closes her eyes and tries to sort out her feelings about that revelation. She had known all along that Carter wanted to fix her. But to have the confirmation that he couldn’t love her the way she was...well? It stung a little. But it was also a huge relief. Now she knew the real reason, and to be honest, she was grateful. Even if she felt stupid for putting so much time and energy into a relationship that was doomed from the start. Abby clears her throat. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
 
“Abby…”
 
“No, really. I never knew for sure why he didn’t go through with it. I suspected, but I didn’t

know

. Now I do, and that’s a relief.”
 
“I’m glad.” Maggie murmurs. 
 
“I don’t even know if I would have said yes. But I

do

know that it never would have worked out. If we ever made it to the altar, it wouldn’t have lasted. I’m absolutely positive about that.”
 
Maggie laughs. “You can’t know…”
 
Abby shakes her head as a realization hits her like a ton of bricks. “Yeah, I can. We never could have made each other happy. Ever. I wasn’t good enough for him, and as for me, I was missing a part of myself. The part that still loved Luka.”
 
Maggie clears her throat. “Well then. I’m happy you two found your way back together. I’m happy for you.”
 
Abby laughs a little. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been with anyone else. Including him.”

Maggie snorts at that. “Oh, Abby. When are you due?”
 
Abby shifts the phone and plops down on the couch, a little tired from the pacing. “July. I’m sixteen weeks.”
 
“Are you showing yet?”
 
Abby smirks. “A little. Nobody has noticed yet. The coat hides it.”
 
“So did you find out what you’re having?”
 
Abby smiles, thinking of her discussion with Luka. “No. I want the surprise.”
 
Maggie smiles. “I think that’s lovely. I’m so happy, Abby. I can’t wait to meet them.”
 
Abby smiles and sighs a little. “I can’t wait for you to meet them either.” 
 
“Abby? Luka’s the one you should marry.”
 
Abby sits up straighter. “What? Why?”
 
Maggie rolls her eyes. “Beside the fact that you’re having his baby? You love him, and he loves you. And he loves you for who you are, not who he wants you to be. He always has.”
 
Abby frowns. “Maybe.”
 
“Definitely.”
 
Abby sighs and rolls her eyes. “Well, one step at a time. I’m not sure I want to get married again.”
 
Maggie huffs. “Of course you do. You’re scared, and I understand that. But you have to stop letting fear drive your life. You weren’t sure you wanted to have children either, now here you are.”
 
Abby swallows. “Yeah. I guess we’ll see. Mostly, I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and enjoy being with Luka. The rest can wait.”
 
“Alright. I’ll let you go so you can get some rest. I love you. Give Luka my best. And Abby? Don’t wait too long.”
 
Abby smiles. “We’ll see. I love you too. Bye, mom.”
 
Abby stretches out her legs and wonders idly what Luka might bring for dinner. Really. What was wrong with just enjoying this time? Absolutely nothing. The rest would wait.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“You know, you could help instead of standing over there shouting instructions.” Abby sits back on her heels and scowls at her husband. 
 
Luka shrugs and chuckles. “This was

your

idea.”
 
“Not the point. And if you want it done a certain way, you can help or you can shut up about it.” Abby shifts quickly to grab Joe’s hand. “No, Buddy. You can’t pick these.”
 
Joe gives her a forlorn look. “Pretty.” 
 
Luka smirks as he leans on the porch rail. “Told you.” 
 
“Are you still here?” Abby pushes up on her knees and attacks the flower bed again. Digging her spade into the soil, she mutters “Let’s plant some flowers, she says. It’ll be great, she says.”
 
Luka licks his lips, trying not to laugh. “Are you talking to yourself?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Go inside and get my iPod and put some music on for me before I murder you.” 
 
Luka bends down and scoops Joe under one arm to haul him inside. “Let’s get out of mama’s hair for awhile. She needs to pull herself together.”
 
Joe’s brows furrow as he wiggles and tries to get out of his father’s grip. “She is apart?”
 
Luka huffs out a laugh. At four years old, Joe’s grasp of English was almost as good as his own. “No, it just means mommy needs some time by herself.”
 
Joe nods and smiles. “Play music.”
 
Luka grins and flips the switch on the speaker system. Finding Abby’s iPod on the desk they kept in the dining room, he pulls up her favorite playlist and smiles when the first song that comes on is Elton John and Kiki Dee belting out “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” As always, when that song comes on, he feels a little tug of nostalgia for their wedding. 
 
Stepping back into the kitchen, he startles a little when Abby’s head, wearing a garden hat and sunglasses (and looking adorable, in Luka’s unbiased opinion), pops up in the open kitchen window. “Don’t think that playing this song gets you out of trouble, pal.” her head disappears again. 
 
Luka shakes his head. “Want some lunch?” he calls out. 
 
She pops up. “Yes.” Gone again.
 
Checking to see what Joe was up to and seeing that he was happily occupied with his trucks, Luka pulls bread and cheese and ham out for sandwiches. Deciding to grill them, he takes out a pan and busies himself making lunch for all three of them. 
 
Twenty minutes later, he pulls a Diet Coke out of the refrigerator. “Joe? Can you take this out to mama while I get the rest?”
 
Always pleased to help, Joe scrambles up from his knees and takes the pop from his father, scurrying through the back doors to give his mother a drink. She looks up and smiles at him. “Are you together mama?”
 
Abby’s lips curve. “What do you mean?”
 
“Tata say you were apart.” Joe looks at her earnestly and holds the drink out. 
 
Abby giggles and takes the can. “Yeah. Thanks buddy.” She rises and shakes her head at Luka, bringing a plate of grilled cheese out to their patio table. 
 
Wandering over, she wraps her arm around his waist. “You’re still in trouble, but this earns you points. Thank you.”
 
Luka leans down to kiss her forehead. “You’re welcome. Go wash your hands.”
 
Rolling her eyes, Abby pinches his butt, making him yelp. “Gee, dad, ya think?”
 
Returning to the table after cleaning up, Abby slides a grilled cheese onto a plate. She eyes her husband. “No jam, right?”
 
Luka smirks. “No. Just ham and cheese.”
 
“Okay.” She bites into her sandwich and relaxes a little. Gesturing, Abby shakes her head. “I didn’t realize what a project this would be.” She scowls. “And

do not

say ‘I told you so.’” 
 
“I won’t.” Smiling a little, Luka pulls a potato chip out of the bag he’d set on the table. “Do you want some help?”
 
“Are you going to tell me I’m doing it wrong?”
 
“No.”
 
“Are you going to take three hours to plant one flat because you’re a perfectionist?”
 
“Probably.” 
 
Abby grins and takes a chip. “Okay.”

**************************************

Coming out onto the porch, Luka hands Abby a glass of seltzer with lime. “Figured you would want to cut out the caffeine at this point.” 
 
“Yeah, thanks.” She squints over at the small flower bed on the opposite side of the porch. “You did a good job. Even if it took you forever and you only did a third of what I did.” 
 
Luka slides his finger down her cheek. “Is it a competition?” he raises a brow at her and takes a sip of his own seltzer.
 
“No. I’m just saying.” Abby leans back in her chair, watching Joe run around kicking the soccer ball. 
 
Luka shifts and leans toward her, kissing the corners of each side of her mouth, before taking her lips in a slow, deep kiss. 
 
“What was that for?”
 
“I know what you’re doing.” Luka leans his forehead on hers. 
 
“Huh?”
 
He chuckles. “Planting flowers is planting roots. It makes you nervous, so you’re deflecting and babbling.”
 
Abby sucks in a breath. “I do

not

babble.”
 
Luka squeezes her hand. “Yes, you do. It’s adorable.”
 
Abby toys with his fingers and sighs. “I’m not nervous. Maybe a little skittish, but that’s not the same thing.”
 
Luka bites his lip to keep from smiling. “Of course not.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes and snorts. “Planting roots, huh?”
 
Luka lifts his shoulder. “It’s something my mother used to say. We’ve been here almost two years. Are we staying for good?”
 
Abby smiles, simultaneously thrilled and baffled that he really just

got

her. He understood her thoughts without her ever having to say a word. “I hope so. I really love this house, and I love my job.” she cocks a brow at him.
 
Luka chuckles and pulls her closer. “Me too. Abby, you know that home is wherever we’re together. But…” he kisses the top of her head. “I’m done moving around.”
 
Abby giggles. “Maybe we should get a cat.”
 
“You hate cats.” Luka snickers into her hair.
 
“You’re right. No cats. No fish either. I would kill them.”
 
That cracks Luka up. “I’m well aware.” 
 
Abby pinches him. “Shut up. I don’t think Joe’s ready for a dog.” Her brows draw together. “Maybe in a few years, but we don’t have the time to devote to a dog right now.” 
 
Luka shifts and pulls Abby’s legs over his lap, content to sit with her watching their son play while the sky turns to dusk. “I agree with you there.”
 
Abby runs her hand up his arm. “So if we eventually get a pet, we’re in agreement that it’s a dog or nothing?”
 
Luka smiles. “I like dogs.”
 
“Good. I’d hate to reevaluate everything I know and love about you.”
 
Luka grins and nods toward Joe. “We should probably take him inside soon.”
 
Abby nods. “Yeah, it’s getting late.” She doesn’t make any effort to move. “We need a porch swing.”
 
Luka is absently stroking her leg. “Huh?”
 
“A porch swing, Luka. So we can sit out here and enjoy our flowers and our yard.” She smirks at him. “Like the old married couple we are.”
 
Luka licks his lips and leans over to nuzzle her neck. “We’re not that old. Do you think we could have sex on a porch swing?”
 
Abby swats him. “No. We’d have to be contortionists to make that happen.” She laughs at the glint in his eye. “And then we would probably break it.”
 
Luka nips at her ear, making her eyes close in pleasure. “Might be worth it.” he mutters.
 
Abby shakes her head and draws back, smiling when she sees Joe watching them suspiciously. She hadn’t even noticed him come up on the porch. He was holding his hands cupped together. “Whatcha got there, Buddy?”
 
Joe cocks his head, as if checking to make sure his parents weren’t still having fun without him. Seemingly satisfied, he holds his clasped hands up. “Bug.”
 
“Oh yeah? Let’s see it.” Abby grins when Joe opens his hand and she sees a firefly, sitting in the middle, obviously resigned to its fate. “If you squish it, your fingers will glow.”
 
Luka pulls Joe’s hands over. “Abby.” 
 
“What?”
 
“That’s every kind of wrong.”
 
Joe narrows his eyes, offended at the idea of killing his new friend. “No squish.”
 
Abby shrugs. “Fine. Be treehuggers.”
 
Joe scurries around to Luka’s side of the table, and Luka lifts him onto his lap. “Thank you, we will.” he gently pries Joe’s fingers open. “You need to let him go though buddy.”
 
“My bug.”
 
Luka shakes his head and chuckles. “I’m sure he’ll stay in the yard and you can find him tomorrow.”
 
Joe scowls at Abby again. “No squish, mama.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “Of course not. He’s apparently your pal now.”
 
Joe nods decisively. “Yes.” He opens his hands to let the firefly fly away. 
 
Luka hugs him. “Nice job. Now…” he stands amd swings Joe in the air, making him squeal in delight. “Time to get ready for bed.” He smiles down at Abby. “Coming?” 
 
Abby studies her two boys, love for them welling up. “Yeah. I’ll be in soon.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Abby slides her eyes over to Luka. 
 
Luka grins at her, pulling into their campsite at Pinewood. “We’ve never done this together. I thought Joe would enjoy it.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “Of course he will. At least you got us an RV. I hate tent camping.”
 
“I figured I wouldn’t get you in a tent.” He leans over to kiss her. “We’ll have some privacy this way too.” Luka wiggles his brows at her.
 
Abby snorts. “Sure. With a four year old having to pee every half hour.”
 
Luka chuckles. “Give him some credit. It’s only every hour.”
 
Abby smirks at him. “That’s the thing about public bathrooms. It’s your job, sparky.”
 
Joe wiggles out of his booster and toddles forward as Luka parks. “Mama, I have to pee.”
 
Abby’s mouth twitches. “Tata will take you as soon as he gets the brakes set.” 
 
Luka jumps down from the cab and sets the brake. Coming around and opening the passenger door, he swings Abby down from her seat, making her laugh. He kisses her soundly before snatching Joe and settling him under his arm. “Think you can start the fire?”
 
Abby shrugs. “I’m a girl. What do I know?”
 
“A girl who grew up in Minnesota and knows more about the big outdoors than I do.”
 
Abby laughs. “Great outdoors. Yeah. I can start the fire. Take the boy to the bathroom.”
 
Abby wanders over to the fire pit and sets logs and kindling. Starting the newspaper to light, she grins when Joe runs toward her. “Careful. No running by the fire, Buddy.”
 
Luka crouches next to her and kisses her temple. “Nice job. You did that a lot faster than I would have.” Moving over to pull out the cooler, he pulls out the package of hotdogs to roast. “We’ll do these when it’s hot enough. 
 
Abby nods and goes to pull their chairs out of the RV. Sitting, she cocks her head at him. “When was the last time you went camping?”
 
Luka sits beside her. “Ah…I took Alex and Sam for his birthday.”
 
Abby nods and pokes at the fire with a branch. 
 
Luka lays a hand on her thigh. “This is already better.”
 
Abby props her head on her hand. “Oh yeah?”
 
Luka squeezes her leg. “Abby. I want to have every experience with you. You make it better. You make

me

better.” He nods over at their son. “That guy is icing on the cupcake.”
 
Abby melts at that and rises to lean over him, shooting a glance at Joe, who was playing with his Tonka truck in the dirt. She brushes her lips softly over his. “I’m a very lucky woman, you know that? Maybe you’ll get lucky later.”
 
Gripping her hip, he pulls her forward so she’s standing between his legs. He slides his hand up and brushes the side of her breast. “Promise?”
 
Leaning down again, she presses her lips to his forehead. “Yeah. Let’s make dinner.”

************************************
 
Luka chuckles when Abby holds out a S’more to him when he returns from putting an exhausted Joe to bed. “Thanks.”
 
“I wasn’t sure you could handle making your own. Since you whiffed on your first three attempts at Joe’s.”
 
“Ha ha.” Luka pulls her down with him in his lounge chair and pulls the blanket over them. “Want a bite?”
 
Abby leans in and licks the melting chocolate off the side of his thumb. “I already had my fill, thanks.” 
 
Keeping his eyes on hers, he swipes at the chocolate again, and holds his fingers to her lips. “Are you sure?” He takes another bite. 
 
Willing to play the game, Abby takes his finger in her mouth, and sucks, knowing exactly what that does to him. She grins when Luka groans and she feels him harden against her. “Don’t tease me if you’re not willing to follow up on it.”
 
Luka slips his tongue between her lips, smiling at her quiet moan. “Who says I’m not willing?” She gasps when he shifts her so she’s cradled in his arms, facing the fire. Nibbling at her throat, he murmurs. “The fire and the stars are beautiful. You’re beautiful. We’re pretty isolated here…”
 
Abby chokes out a laugh. “Are you serious?”
 
Luka strokes his hand down her belly, flicking open her jeans. “I’m completely serious.” Sliding his hand down inside her jeans, he sucks on her earlobe as he strokes her softly over her panties. “I seem to recall you saying that outside sex is exciting.” He flicks his tongue out to run under the soft line of her jaw. 
 
Abby moans and lifts her arm to circle it around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. “Luka…”
 
“What?” Kissing his way along her jaw, he slides her jeans down a little farther and toys with the elastic between her thigh and her center. 
 
Sucking in a breath when his fingers slide inside her, she rotates her hips. “God. Don’t stop.”
 
Luka’s breathing is uneven as he slides his fingers over her, into her. Soft, wet, and his. He buries his face in her neck while he works her with his hand until she’s a throbbing and quivering beautiful wreck.
 
Abby closes her eyes and lets the sensation of the cool air over her face while his hands stroke her body to a blazing inferno wash over her. Bringing her hand up, she covers the one that is toying with her breast under her sweatshirt.  Arching against him, she turns her head to take his mouth when she comes, biting his lip to keep from crying out. 
 
Luka presses his lips to her throat and chuckles. “Abby.” is all he can manage while she goes limp against him. 
 
Abby smiles and turns in his lap, stroking her hand over his shoulder. “I love you.”
 
“I love you too. Even though I’m pretty sure you got marshmallow in my hair.”
 
Abby holds up her hand and studies it. “Oops. I guess I should make it up to you.”
 
Luka lifts a brow. “Should we go inside?”
 
Abby sides off his lap, kneeling in front of him. She reaches forward to undo his belt and the button of his jeans. “Why? You think you’re the only one who can pull this off?” She yanks the blanket back over them, sliding down, she nips at his thigh, chuckling when he hisses and grips her hair. Moving her hands up to grip his hips, she takes him slowly into her mouth.
 
Luka gasps and groans, slipping down in the chair to give her better access as she works him with lips and teeth and tongue. Working hard to maintain control, he lets her lead him. Knowing he was close, Luka moves to shift away, but Abby digs her fingers into his hips, taking him deeper and swallowing him down when he goes blind and empties himself.
 
Luka smiles at her when she climbs back into his lap, cuddling against his shoulder. “Sorry.”
 
“For what?”
 
“Ah…you know.” 
 
Abby giggles. “Luka, you know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to.”
 
His lips quirk. “Yeah. I think I returned the favor with the marshmallow. Sorry for that too.”
 
Abby snorts. “That’s what showers are for.”
 
“I’d suggest one now, but there’s the little matter of the four year old asleep in the camper.”
 
Abby sighs, content to just stay in his arms and watch the stars. “Yeah. He’s so inconsiderate.”
 
Luka chuckles and kisses the top of her head. “Want to go canoeing tomorrow?”
 
“I want to lay on the beach and watch you guys make sand castles.”
 
“Why am I making the sand castles?” Luka pinches her.
 
“Oh please. Like you’re not dying to make one with Joe.” She grins when Luka shrugs. “Canoeing huh? What the hell. Let’s try it.”
 
Luka squeezes her hip. “I knew I’d talk you into it.”
 
Abby grins and licks her lips. “Luka, there’s not much you couldn’t talk me into. Except skydiving. Or bungee jumping.”
 
Luka shakes his head. “Why would I want to do either of those things?”
 
“I don’t know. But just for future reference.”
 
Luka twines his fingers with hers and lays his head on top of hers. “Okay. Good to know.”
 
“I probably shouldn’t have admitted that you can talk me into most things.”
 
Luka snorts. “Like I didn’t know.” He turns his head to brush his lips over her temple. “That’s mutual.”
 
He tightens his grip on her. “I like it when I talk you into doing that thing you do. You know the one where…”
 
Abby swats him. “Yeah, I know the one. Perv.” She leans her head on his chest. “Luka?”
 
“Hmmm?”
 
“Thank you for talking me into things.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka pulls to a stop a block from Abby’s place and squints through the windshield at the pouring rain. “Why don’t you have a garage?”
 
Abby rolls her eyes toward him. “Why don’t you?”
 
Luka smirks. “Good question.” He sighs. “I guess we run for it.”
 
Abby shifts so the skirt she’d worn for their “date” inches up her thigh. She had just met him for dinner after his shift, but beggars and choosers and all that. Besides, were they dating? She has no idea. “You don’t

have

to come in, you know.” she cocks her head. “If you’re afraid of a little rain…”
 
Luka’s mouth goes dry at the sight of her bare thigh. He just couldn’t stop this raging

want

for her. Luka lifts a brow and strokes a finger down her cheek. “Try and stop me. I laugh at the rain.”
 
Abby giggles and shoves open the door of his car as thunder booms overhead. Luka bolts out of his side and hurries around the hood, catching her hand while he hits the remote for the locks. Dragging her along, Luka runs for her apartment building. 
 
Abby laughs breathlessly. “Luka, slow down. I can’t run in these boots. And your legs are a lot longer than mine.”
 
He slows his pace. “Sorry.” 
 
Abby smiles at him. “What’s your hurry?”
 
Is she kidding him? He was burning from the inside out. “Well, the rain…”
 
Abby snorts and dashes up the stairs. “Sure.” She unlocks the outer door, pulling him inside. “It’s not raining in here.”
 
Luka smirks and pushes her against the wall in the hallway. “No, it’s not.” His mouth crushes down on hers, tongue and teeth and heat clashing. 
 
Abby gasps and reaches up to grip his neck, arching against him while his hand moves up her thigh. “God,

Luka.

Don’t…”
 
Luka immediately stills. “Sorry.”
 
Abby shakes her head and grips his tie, pulling him close again. “Don’t stop.” Abby’s head falls back while he buries his face in her neck, hands pulling impatiently at her top until he frees it from her waistband and snakes them under, fingers stroking the skin of her belly. The few weeks since they’d reunited had been a whirlwind of lust and want and

comfort.

Abby’s feelings were a mess, wrapped up in loving him and not knowing where they stood. But she was utterly sure she hadn’t been happier or more satisfied in

years

. She had thought they’d screwed like bunnies in their first go-round, but hell if they weren’t breaking those records this time.
 
“Abby.” Luka pulls back, panting. Watching her face, love for her rushes up and nearly strangles him. She was it for him, he just had to figure out a way to convince her. Smiling, Luka touches her face gently. He was hard as steel, wanting to take her right there in the hallway, but some semblance of sanity managed to surface. “We need to get inside.”
 
Abby smirks. “We

are

inside.” Her hand slides down to stroke him through his trousers, making him groan. She laughs. “Okay, let’s try to..”
 
Luka grabs her hand, pulling her forward and up the stairs. Pushing her against her door, he watches her face while he slides his hands up to cup her breasts, thumbs sliding across her nipples through her shirt. “I want you. Right now.” His mouth comes down on hers again. 
 
Abby lets out a choked laugh against his lips while his hands move over her. “Me too.” she manages, fumbling with her key. 
 
The door across the hall opens and her neighbors step out. The male half of the couple grins at them. “Hey Abby. And Luka, right?”
 
Luka manages a smile and nod while the wife nudges her husband along. “Sorry to interrupt!” she calls back at them, snickering as they jog down the stairs. 
 
Abby puts her hand over her face. “Oh my God.”
 
Luka chuckles. “Forget it.” He manages to shove the door open and pull her inside. “Now, where were we?”
 
Abby drops her hand. “Luka…”
 
“What?” He takes her waist and slowly backs her up against the wall. “Do you want to stop?”
 
Abby shivers when his fingers trail gently over her shoulder. “No. No, I don’t want to stop.”
 
Luka nods and grips her thigh, pulling it up so it wraps around his waist and her skirt hikes higher. “Thank God.” Luka watches her intensely, a smile tugging at his lips. Have I told you how much I like you wearing a skirt?” His fingers trail down the center of her body, making her tremble in his arms. 
 
“You haven’t mentioned it, no.” Abby shudders while his lips roam her neck and collarbone. 
 
“Well, I do. Sexy.” Luka pulls back to watch her while his fingers inch her top over her head. “The boots really work for me too.”
 
Abby’s breath hitches while he lowers her leg, dropping down to his knees and stroking her thighs with his big hands. “Men are so…

God…

simple.”
 
Luka lays his lips on her belly and chuckles against her. “We are.” Luka’s mouth travels lower while she grips his hair, reveling in what she knew was coming. “Do you know what really works for me, Abby?” His breath whispers over the skin of her thigh, making her knees go weaker while he reaches up to peel the panties over her hips.
 
“Huh?”
 
Luka’s mouth slides over her center, tongue stroking in and working a fast rhythm over her, inside her, until she comes, screaming his name. Rising slowly, Luka presses against her, holding her while she shivers through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Lowering his mouth gently to hers, he murmurs. “You work on me, Abby.”
 
Smiling dopily, Abby grips his hips and works his belt free, keeping her mouth fused to his, she manages to free him, his erection sliding against her, she boosts herself up, skirt still wrapped around her waist, and chains her legs around his hips. Gripping his hair, she bites at his throat, then attacks his ear with her tongue, a move he could never resist. “Come inside me.”
 
Bracing her against the wall, Luka drives himself inside her, thrilling at her sharp cry. Pulling her arms above her head, he grips her wrists, holding her with him, while he thrusts hard and deep, moving in a strong and steady rhythm until she cries out again, muscles clamping around him as she comes, hard. Luka buries his face in her hair and with one final thrust, empties himself inside her. 
 
They stay there, slumped against the wall, holding each other up. Luka chuckles against her throat. “Wow.”
 
Abby cocks her head and grins at him. His hair was a mess from her hands, and he looks like a beautiful wreck. “Wow just about covers it.” she brushes his hair off his forehead. “I’m still wearing my boots.”
 
Luka pulls back and bits his lip, eyes twinkling down at her. “I know. Maybe you should leave them on.”
 
Abby huffs out a breath and disentangles herself. “Absolutely not, sailor.” she drops down to the floor to unzip the boots and pull them off. “You had your fun.”
 
Luka grins at her, sitting on the floor mostly naked, trying not to look embarrassed. She was one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. “I told you the boots worked.”
 
“Yeah, well, they’re gone now.”
 
Luka shrugs. “It’s fine. You’re mostly naked. Even better.” He grins when she blushes and moves an arm up to cover her breasts. “Your sense of modesty is very strange.”
 
Abby snorts and shakes her head. Pushing to her feet, she wobbles a little. “Woah. I think you…”
 
He grabs her arm. “Did I hurt you?”
 
Abby smiles at him. “No. Of course not. I was going to say you wrecked me. In a good way.” 
 
Luka can’t help it, pride and affection wells up inside him. He strokes a hand down to her wrist. “That’s mutual.”
 
Abby nods and averts her eyes. They were talking a lot more than they ever had during their prior romance, but she was never quite sure how to handle the after-sex portion of the program. “Well, um.”
 
Luka reaches up to run a hand over her hair. He had learned in their four long years apart that he simply had to wait her out, or give her a very subtle nudge. “Do you mind if I stay? It’s early yet. We could watch TV.”
 
Abby smiles at him. “No, I don’t mind. Just let me put some pajamas on.” 
 
Luka lifts a brow and moves in, scooping her up into his arms to stride toward her bedroom. “Let me help you with that. After we finish getting you out of that skirt.”
 
Laughing, Abby buries her face against his shoulder. “Okay.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Delaney slips up beside Joe and wraps an arm around his waist. “What are you doing?”
 
Joe smiles and points down to the beach, where his parents are walking, hand-in-hand, toward the water. “Married over thirty years, and look at them.”
 
Del tips her head to his shoulder. “Feeling sentimental, huh?”
 
Joe chuckles and leans his head on hers, grinning as Luka twirls Abby out to the side and back in, dipping her into a kiss. “When we used to come here when I was a kid, they would do this. I was supposed to be sleeping, but I’d get up and watch them out the window.”
 
“Troublemaker.” Del snickers against his shoulder. 
 
“They never went out of my sight.” He shakes his head. “I figured out later that they wanted to be able to see the cottage and get back quickly if I needed them.” Joe snorts. “My mom used to carry the baby monitor with her.”
 
Del grins. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she still does.”
 
Joe shrugs. “That’s Abby.”
 
Delaney nods. “I know. She’s fucking neurotic. In a good way.” She adds when Joe cocks a brow. 
 
He kisses her head. “We’ve been coming here since I was about six, I guess. It’s close enough to Chicago that mom and dad could see some friends, and then spend the rest of the time on the beach. One week in Michigan, every year.”
 
“That’s sweet.” Del smiles at the thought. Her parents hardly ever left the east coast. “You were quite the jet setter as a kid.”
 
Joe laughs. “Croatia was about the family.” He turns to study her. “We loved going, but I always knew it made dad sad to be there.”
 
“What happened to him is probably one of the worst things I can imagine.” Delaney shakes her head. “I can’t imagine it, honestly.”
 
Joe nods. “It’s…weird for me. My dad is my dad, and he loves mom and I, and now you and the girls, beyond reason. But knowing he had a whole other family before us just…I love them, you know?”
 
Delaney wraps her arms around him. “I think so. But it’s hard to grasp, really. I just think your dad has a really big heart and it’s easy to love anyone who has a part of it.”
 
Joe shakes his head. “Tell me about it. That wasn’t my point though. My dad built a new life but it really took mom to make him truly happy again.” He sighs. “Nobody’s ever told me that directly, but it’s easy enough to figure out. Kids hear things, and my parents had a hell of a history before they had me.”
 
Delaney looks out the window to see Abby throw back her head and laugh at something Luka said. “Tell me a memory of them, from here.”
 
“What?” Joe’s brow furrows. 
 
Delaney snorts. “You look exactly like your dad when you do that. I mean, tell me something you remember from a vacation here, back when you were a kid.”
 
Joe sits on the padded window seat and pulls her into his lap. “When I was about twelve, my dad was grilling burgers for us. Bender was a puppy, and dad left the plate on the counter.”
 
“Oh boy.” Delaney giggles. 
 
“Yeah. Damn dog managed to get to it and ate them all. Mom was

pissed

, but dad managed to talk her down.” Joe cocks his head. “He’s good at that.”
 
Delaney smiles. “I’ve noticed.”
 
“Yeah, he ended up ordering pizza, no onions, to get back on her good side. Anyways, later that night, they went out to walk on the beach. Bender and I sat and watched them out the window while they danced by the water in the moonlight.” Joe snorts. “I was twelve, so I probably should have been revolted. But I remember thinking it looked romantic, as ridiculous as it was.”
 
Delaney sighs a little. “Why ridiculous?”
 
Joe pulls back a little to kiss her nose. “You’ve seen my dad dance.”
 
She giggles. “He does okay with slow dancing.”
 
Joe smiles. “Yeah. It’s something my parents only did at certain times. Always,

always

on New Year’s Eve. When Stevie Wonder came on the radio. And when they came here to dance on the beach.”
 
Delaney smiles softly. “I knew your parents before I met you. Well, your mom more than your dad. But they always struck me as a true unit. One of those couples who would have been lost without the other one.”
 
Joe shakes his head. “I know they had some rough times in the past. My mom’s alcoholism, my dad’s issues….”
 
“Your dad was a classic case of PTSD from what you’ve told me. It’s not surprising they had it rough at times.”
 
Joe nods. “Yeah. But I think they needed each other more than any of that stuff mattered. They really worked on their marriage, because they knew if they didn’t, it could fall apart. I mean…you know both of them. Neither of them are easy people.” 
 
Del snorts. “Absolutely not.”
 
Joe grins. “You know that compass my mom gave me when we got married? Did I ever tell you what it was about?”
 
Del shakes her head. “Just that it was a keepsake.”
 
Joe gazes out the window again. “He gave it to her the night she told him she was pregnant with me. He said they’d always find each other.”
 
Del swallows over the lump in her throat and puts a hand on his back. “Like she’s his true north.”
 
Joe smiles a little. “Each other’s, I think. But they never stopped working, even if they belonged together. I think that’s why, actually. Nobody gets to keep love without work.”

****************************

Abby dips her toe in the crashing surf of Lake Michigan and smiles. “I still like the Great Lakes better than the Ocean.”
 
Luka grins as he sits on the beach watching her. “I know.”
 
“Really. No salt, no sharks. But all of the good stuff.” She kicks some water at him. 
 
Luka holds up a hand. “Hey!”
 
“Hey yourself.” Abby backs up into the water so the waves lap at her calves. “We should go for a sail tomorrow.”
 
Luka smiles. “Already planned on it.”
 
She nods at the cottage. “Joe’s watching us.”
 
Luka turns his head and sees their son Silhouetted against the window. “Do you think he’s keeping an eye on us?”
 
Abby snorts. “He’s got too much of both of us in him. Worrywart. He should be taking Del out to the Dunes and working on another grandchild for us.” 
 
Luka grimaces. “Thanks for that thought.” He shakes his head when Abby shrugs. “At least we don’t have to stay in view of the house anymore. Maybe

we

should go climb some dunes.” He wiggles his brows at her. 
 
Abby giggles and plops down beside him, taking his hand and leaning her head on his shoulder. “Sorry. I’m too old to have sand pounded up my ass.”
 
Luka leans in to kiss her. “Who says we have to do it that way?”
 
Abby shakes her head and smiles. “Maybe another night. I want to just sit here and watch the water in the moonlight with you. Maybe we can have some old married couple sex back at the house.”
 
Luka shifts to pull her closer, leaning his head on hers. “I can live with that. I love you, Abby.”
 
She sighs and squeezes his fingers. “Love you too.”

*******************************

Joe comes back from checking on the sleeping twins to find Del still sitting on the window seat, legs curled up beneath her. “What are they doing now?”
 
Delaney looks up and smiles at him. “They’re sitting on the beach. I think they know we’re watching.”
 
Joe sits next to her. “Is it weird?”
 
She laughs. “It’s not. I was thinking about my childhood. My parents were great, you know that. They love each other madly, and they’re a team. We both got lucky in that area.”
 
Joe slides behind her and draws her in. “We sure did.”
 
“But my mom and dad are so

normal

. They didn’t have any of the craziness and drama and heartache your parents dealt with.”
 
Joe twines his fingers with hers. “That you know of.”
 
Del snorts. “Okay, fair point. But your mom has told me some stories about their time at County. Add your grandma, and your uncle, and the war in Croatia. It’s a whole fucking lot, Joe.”
 
He nods and rests his head on hers. “I still worry every now and then about the genetics my family brings. Bipolar, alcoholism. It’s a whole fucking lot.”
 
Del nods soberly. “Don’t forget the brooding gene.” She giggles when Joe bites her ear. “Don’t be daft. You know the chances are small. And let’s be real. Everybody’s genetics are fucked.”
 
Joe sighs. “I know. But I wouldn’t be Abby and Luka Kovač’s kid if I didn’t have the worry gene.”
 
Del smiles at him. “It’s part of why I love you.” She rises and holds out her hand. “Let’s go make some tea. Your mom will appreciate it when she comes in.”

**************************

Abby is rolling her eyes at Luka when she steps through the French doors. “I’m sorry I stopped having sex on the beach a long time ago.”
 
“Ew, mom.” Joe grins at her from the table. 
 
Luka smirks. “I’ll say it again. How do you think you got here?”
 
Joe rises to make tea for both of them. “You found me under a berry bush and brought me home.”
 
Del giggles. “Pretty sure your mother would disagree that it was so easy.”
 
Abby nods primly. “Thank you, Delaney.” She accepts the tea from Joe. “What are you guys up to?”
 
Joe shrugs. “Reminiscing. Remember the time Bender ate our dinner?”
 
Luka chuckles while Abby grins. “Yeah. I miss that dog.”
 
Joe smiles. “Me too.”
 
Luka sits and sips tea. “Were you keeping an eye on the old people on the beach?” he lifts a brow at Joe.
 
Joe grimaces. “Ah, maybe.”
 
Abby shakes her head. “I’m not even seventy, Joe. And your dad is as healthy as ever. I think we can handle a walk on the beach.”
 
Joe blushes a little. “I know. I like watching you together.” he mumbles. 
 
Abby leans over to squeeze his hand. “Why?”
 
Joe shifts, a little uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation. “Because. It helps me remember where I come from. You guys are still crazy about each other, all these years later. It gives me faith in true love. Or something.” He shrugs.
 
Luka smiles. “Well, you’ve got a pretty good start.” he winks at Delaney. “I have a feeling Del will handle you just as well as your mother handled me.”
 
Delaney grins at Luka and rises to kiss Joe’s head, impossibly moved. “So far, so good.” 
 
Abby grips Luka’s hand. “I’m still here, and I have no plans to be otherwise. You’d be lost without me.”
 
Luka leans into her. “Yes, I absolutely would.”
 
“See? That compass has worked pretty well for an awful lot of years. Now Joe has it, and I figure it will work pretty well for him too.”
 
Delaney grins. “It works for me.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka sucks in a breath when Abby nips at his bottom lip. Running his hands down her arms, he intertwines their fingers and pulls back a little. “Abby…”
 
Eyes heavy and clouded with lust, Abby smiles up at him. “Luka?” 
 
“We shouldn’t…” he purses his lips when Abby’s thumbs start stroking along the sides of his legs. “I mean…”
 
Abby looks down, and back up, eyebrows raised in amusement at the obvious. “Uh huh.”
 
“Jesus.” Luka laughs and drops his forehead to hers. “Abby, there’s a patient one bed over.”
 
“Shit. I forgot.” She laughs. “Do you need a few minutes?”
 
“I need a cold shower.” Luka mutters, making her snort. He glances out the window and notes that the coast is clear. Sliding off the gurney, he grabs her hand and tugs. “Come with me.”
 
Abby hurries to catch up with his long legs, and nearly plows into his back when he stops at the door to look up and down the hallway. “What are you…”
 
“Shh. Luka tugs her along until he reaches his office, and shuts and locks the door. “There. I don’t think anyone saw us.”
 
Abby snickers. “Like they aren’t going to figure it out if we’re both gone much longer.”
 
Luka looks slightly alarmed as his mouth drops open. “Shit.”
 
Abby steps into him and starts working at his belt. “I’m game if you are.”
 
Confused, Luka smiles while his breath hitches. Jesus, the woman has magic fingers. “You think it’s a game?
 
Smirking, Abby goes to work on the hook and zipper of his trousers. “Of course. Don’t you?”
 
Shaking his head, Luka spins her around and presses her against the door. “No.” Lowering his mouth, he nibbles at her throat while his hands slide under her sweater to stroke along her belly and up to her breasts, making her moan quietly. “I take this very seriously.”
 
Giggling, Abby starts walking him backwards toward his desk. “How sturdy is this thing?”
 
“We could have stayed against the door, but…” Switching their positions, Luka lifts her up and sets her on the desk, smirking when a pile of journals hits the floor with a thump. “We’re going to find out.”
 
Abby grins and takes his face on her hands, giving him a smacking kiss. “Let’s try not to break it, okay?”
 
“Uh huh.” Dropping to his knees, Luka slides his hands up her legs, nudging them further apart until he was nestled between them, arms moving around her so he could pull her closer. Pressing his lips to the inside of her thigh, along the seam in her pants, he smiles when her hips jerk. “Do you really want this?”
 
Abby lets out a sound between a sigh and a groan and grips his hair. “Fuck, Luka.”
 
Taking that as an affirmation, he makes quick work of her jeans, gently lifting her so he could pull them over her hips and off. Eager now, Luka nuzzles at her belly, before slipping his tongue down and into her center. 
 
Abby slaps her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out, but

God

. How had she

ever

convinced herself that she hadn’t wanted this? Wanted him? Her hips move of their own accord while he penetrates her with his tongue, thumbs tilting down and sliding along her clit. Jesus, the man was thorough. Gripping his hair again, she chokes on another scream as she comes, body convulsing while he just keeps laving and sucking at her center. 
 
Luka smiles and nips at her thigh when she comes yet again. He had never been with a woman as beautifully responsive as Abby. Then again, he’s never known anyone quite like her either. The contradictions of her were a constant source of fascination to him. He has no idea how he had been able to function without having her like this. Rising slowly, desperate to be inside her, he takes her mouth in a slow, dreamy kiss. 
 
“Luka.” Abby sighs, sinking into the kiss, tongue sliding into his mouth while her hands frantically try to free him from his trousers. Wrapping still quivering legs around his hips, she scoots forward on the desk. “Come inside me.”
 
Luka grips her hips, hissing when his erection brushes her center. She was hot and wet, as desperate for him as he was for her. Pushing forward slowly, he buries his face in her throat while he slides home. “Abby.” he whispers, nuzzling at her while he starts to thrust. Slowly at first, until the need built too high. Just too damn high. Control snapping, he goes hard, fast and deep until he can feel her building yet again. Crushing his mouth to hers, he swallows her cry, emptying himself while she shakes and clenches around him. 
 
“Oh my God.” Abby strokes Luka’s back while he slumps against her, trying to catch his breath. “So we just did that.”
 
Snorting against her shoulder, Luka grins. “Yeah. I never thought I would use this desk for anything productive.”
 
Abby tilts her head to kiss the top of his. “Okay, Chief. Time to get back to work.”
 
Grimacing, Luka straightens and just smiles down at her. Naked from the waist down, she still had her sweater on, and he was nearly fully dressed. At least they’d had the presence of mind to lose their coats. But damn, that was a lot better than any previous forays into hospital sex. He bends down to pick up her jeans and, considering, shoves her panties in his pocket. 
 
Abby rolls her eyes. “Give me my underwear.”
 
“No. Souvenir. I might have them framed and stick them right here on my previously boring desk.”
 
Abby snorts and shakes her head, resigned, pulling her pants over bare skin. She is crazy about him, she really is, but sometimes she thinks he’s still sixteen. “Whatever.” She reaches up to stroke his cheek. “Go splash some water on your face or something. You look flushed.”
 
Nodding, Luka hands her her coat and shrugs into his own. Unlocking the door, he starts to open it slowly when he finds Haleh on the other side, hand raised to knock. Her mouth quirks up in a smirk. 
 
“Abby, Ray is looking for you.” 
 
Abby nods, and blushing furiously, escapes the office. 
 
Luka stares after her, while Haleh’s grin widens and she lifts her brows, amused. Luka shifts his feet and looks down. “Ah, preliminary resident review.”
 
Haleh bites her cheek to keep from laughing. “I’ll bet.” A laugh escapes anyways. “Pratt needs you.”
 
“Great, thanks.” Luka smoothes his tie and hurries past her, almost banging against the ultrasound machine in his rush to escape. 
 
Haleh shakes her head. “Who the hell do they think they’re fooling?” she mutters, and heads to the nurses desk to collect her winnings.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abby kisses the top of her son’s head and stands quickly, leaving Joe sitting with his ball so she could go to his father. “What? What’s going on?” She reaches out and takes his hand. 
 
Luka had gone pale and blank, with a sick feeling in his gut. Abby’s touch shakes him out of it. “My…my father’s sick.”
 
Abby draws him gently back over to the couch. “Oh, Luka. I’m so sorry.”
 
He shakes his head. “I just never…he’s over seventy, but…”
 
Abby sits down next to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders after a quick check on Joe. “Luka, talk to me.”
 
Leaning his head on the top of hers, Luka squeezes her hand and whispers; “Cancer.”
 
Closing her eyes briefly, Abby tries finding a way to comfort her husband. Tilting her head, she brushes her lips over his heart. “I’m so sorry. I know how close you are. Who was that on the phone?”
 
“My...my brother.” Luka swallows hard.
 
Abby just nods. She knows how strained that relationship is. “Did he have any details?”
 
Helpless, Luka just shakes his head. “Not really. Just that there had been a diagnosis. Niko wasn’t sure what kind.” Luka waves a hand. “He doesn’t pay attention to that sort of thing. Tata didn’t want him to call me, but…”
 
Abby just nods and draws him closer. “Is there anyone you can call for more information?”
 
Luka nods and turns his face to kiss her forehead, sighing in relief that he has her here to focus and anchor him. “Yeah. My aunt. Give me a few minutes, will you?”
 
Abby smiles and gives his hands a squeeze. “Sure. I’ll put Joe to bed. I’ll be back down in a bit.”
 
Luka moves back to the phone while Abby bends to pick Joe up. He was half nodding off. “Shhh.” Abby murmurs when Joe whimpers and settles his head on her shoulder. “Let’s get you to bed sweetie.” Throwing a last concerned glance in Luka’s direction, she starts up the stairs.

******************************

Luka settles on the couch, head in his hands. He starts and relaxes when he feels fingers running through his hair. Reaching up, he laces his fingers through Abby’s and brings their joined hands to his lips. “Multiple Myeloma.” he murmurs it, barely audible. “Or at least, that’s what I could get from my aunt. She doesn’t know much more than Niko, but at least she pays attention.”
 
“What stage?” Abby strokes his shoulder.
 
“They aren’t sure, but they think three or four.” Luka swallows hard. “They still have to do another biopsy and…” He waves his hands helplessly again. “I’ll never convince him to come here. He should. He should come

here

where I can help him. I can get him the best oncologist, I can…” 
 
Abby shakes her head. “I know, Luka. I know.”
 
“But he won’t. He’s so fucking stubborn. He’ll just laugh and tell me I’m being stupid and that he would rather be home to die in peace.” Luka scowls.

“Oh, so that’s where the stubborn comes from?” Abby smiles a little when his lips twitch. She takes a deep breath. “You have to go.”
 
Luka’s brow furrows as he frowns at her. “What? No. We’re leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. We have our flights and…”
 
Abby puts a finger over his lips. “And your mind will be on your dad and how he’s doing. You’ll never be able to enjoy yourself, and you won’t be okay until you see for yourself how he is. I need you to be okay, Luka.” She leans forward to press her lips to his. “Hawaii can wait.”
 
Luka slides his hand up into her hair and buries his face in her neck. “I love you so much.” he murmurs against her throat. 
 
Abby cradles his head while he silently weeps against her. “Shhh. It will be okay. It’ll be okay, Luka.”
 
She slides back on the couch and gently pulls his head into her lap. He immediately rolls to bury his face in her belly, arms coming tight around her. His voice is shaky when he tries to make a joke. “Guess the bikini will have to wait, eh?”
 
Abby gives a watery laugh. “Yeah. Just hush, Luka. I’m here.”

********************************************

Luka wakes slowly and blinks groggily. His mouth was full of Abby’s shirt, and he rolls his neck, so he could look up at her. She had her head leaned back on the couch, but she kept a gentle hand on his shoulder. She was snoring lightly. Chuckling a little, Luka sits up. “Shhh. Sorry.” He smiles at her when she startles awake.
 
“Woah. Yeah. We must have fallen asleep.” Abby yawns and stretches, keeping her eyes on her husband. 
 
Luka takes her hand and brings it to his lips. “Yeah. Let’s go up to bed.” He stands, and pulls her up with him.
 
Abby squeezes his hand. “So when will you leave?”
 
Luka sighs. “I’ll check flights tomorrow. The sooner I can leave, the sooner I can be back.”
 
Abby nods, feeling

something

ominous, but puts it out of her mind. “Okay.” she turns to smile at him. “We’ll miss you.”
 
Luka nods, stepping toward her and running his hand over her hair. “The timing sucks.” he lowers his mouth to hers. “Thank you.”
 
Abby lifts her hand to stroke his cheek. “For what?”
 
Luka starts backing her towards their bed, fingers toying with the hem of her shirt. He nibbles on her lip. “For being there. For understanding. For being you. I love you.” 
 
Abby smiles and draws Luka along with her when he lowers her to the bed, knowing he needed  the comfort of being together, loving each other, before they were separated for who knows how long. Abby sighs when he sinks into her, closing her eyes against the barrage of sensations while Luka strokes her body. Fingers feathering along her breasts and down to her hips.
 
Lifting his head, Luka smiles down at his wife. Her skin was already flushed and her breath was coming in long sighs. He reaches down and pulls her top over her head, groaning when she draws him back down, into her arms, taking his mouth in a slow, deep kiss. Comforting, not passionate. The passion would come. It always did between them. But right now, they each wanted to drink the other in.
 
Hands stroke along flesh as they peel each other out of their clothes, lips trailing along skin to linger on each other’s secrets. When Luka finally slides inside her, he sighs and nuzzles at her neck. They move together in the dance they both knew so well, but had learned to change for each other over and over again. The flames slowly build until they slip over the edge together.
 
Luka rolls and pulls Abby close to his side, kissing her temple. “Volim Te.”
 
Abby lays her hand over his heart, feeling its strong, steady beat under her palm. “I love you.” she whispers.

********************************************

Abby feeds Joe oatmeal while Luka paces with the phone, speaking to his brother in Croatian. She recognizes a couple of the words (particularly

fuck

), but can’t follow the conversation whatsoever. She knows her husband though, and he is definitely annoyed. 
 
Luka ends the call with a snap, and mutters. “Jebiga.”
 
Abby smiles up at him. “You know, the only words I really understood in that conversation were the swear words. Maybe you should teach me something useful.”
 
Luka huffs out a laugh. “Then how will Joe and I talk in code?” he drops a kiss to the top of her head and sits. “Niko’s full of questions I can’t answer. He doesn’t understand I’m not

that

kind of doctor, but he won’t take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer when I’m the doctor and I’m

supposed

to have the answers.” Luka jerks a shoulder.
 
“I’m sorry.” Abby gives him a sympathetic smile.
 
He sighs. “Yeah. Thanks. There’s a flight out tomorrow morning with just one layover. I booked it.”
 
Abby covers his hand and squeezes. “Good.”
 
Luka shifts. “I hate the idea of leaving, Abby. We haven’t even been married a week. I don’t like to leave you alone.”
 
Giving him a smile, Abby cocks her head. “Luka, I managed by myself for a long time before I met you.”
 
“Yeah, but you didn’t have a baby to take care of.” He frowns at her.
 
“Luka, it’s just for a couple of weeks. We’ll be fine. I promise.” 
 
He brings their joined hands to his forehead. “I know. I love you.” Luka pushes back from the table. “I better go pack.”
 
Abby frowns after him, worry in every line of her face. She brings her attention back to Joe when he babbles “Da?” 
 
Abby sighs and ruffles her sons hair. “Yeah.”

*********************************************

Nearly 12 hours later, Luka climbs into bed beside Abby again. She rolls and pulls him as close as she can. “I’ll double check your packing in the morning.” She grins against his shoulder. 
 
Luka snorts out a laugh. “I’m forty two years old, you know.”
 
Abby gives his chest a flick while she slides her bare foot up his leg. “Yeah. And you still can’t fold your clothes.”
 
Luka gives her a little kiss on the top of the head. “So you say. Jesus, your feet are freezing.”
 
“You can warm them up in a bit.” She smiles when he chuckles and strokes his hand along her hip. Toying with his chest hair, she sighs. “We’ll be okay, Luka.”
 
“Mmhmm. I know. Doesn’t make it easier. I’m going to miss you so much.”
 
“Your dad is the one who needs you the most right now, so you go. We’re not going anywhere.” 
 
Luka turns his head to brush a kiss over her forehead. “I know.”
 
“I wish we could come with you.” she practically whispers it. 
 
“Me too. My father will love you, and Joe.” He laughs a little. “That’s stupid.”
 
Abby shifts and props herself up a little. “What is?”
 
Luka smiles up at her. “I mean, he already loves you both. Because you’re mine.”
 
Abby feels her tears threatening. “Luka…” she murmurs. 
 
Luka pulls her down for a soft kiss, and nestles her head into his shoulder. “I’ve always known he would love you. Even back when…”
 
Abby smiles. “When we were first together. I remember talking to him on the phone a few times back then, and now. He seems like…” she chuckles.
 
Luka strokes her hair. “Seems like what?”
 
Abby’s eyes twinkle up at him. “Like a grown-up version of you.”
 
Luka grins and licks his lips. “That’s a correct statement, I think. I’ll tell him you said so.” He kisses her nose when Abby snorts. “But he loves you even more now. You gave us Joe. You make me happier than he’s seen me in almost a lifetime.” He wraps his arms tightly around her. “That matters, Abby.”
 
“It matters to me too. I’ll miss you so much, but you need to do this.”
 
They reach for each other again, each knowing this was goodbye for awhile, and even a short time felt like too long.

***************************************

Abby stands on the sidewalk watching the cab drive away. She lifts Joe’s little hand in a wave while he snuggles into her shoulder. 
 
“Da?”
 
Abby presses her lips to Joe’s head and whispers. “Yeah. Daddy will be home soon.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Luka grins against Abby’s neck while she shudders in her sleep at his touch. “Abby.” he whispers. Smiling as she shimmies her hips back toward him and groans, he darts his tongue out to tickle her ear. “Abby, wake up.”
 
“Mmmhmm.” Abby tilts her head back so it’s resting on his shoulder. “I’m up. Kinda.”
 
Luka chuckles and pulls her under him. Grinning down at her, he brushes his lips against hers; deepening the kiss when she sighs as she lets out a soft moan and strokes her hands over his shoulders, tracing the planes of muscle.
 
“Okay, okay.” Abby breaks the kiss and giggles. “What time is it?” 
 
“Just after midnight. It’s Christmas eve.” 
 
Abby lifts her hand to brush the hair back from his forehead and smiles at him. Luka seems a lot more thrilled about the holidays this year than he normally is, and the spark of hope that it was because of

her

battles with her self-doubt. And if Abby’s suspicions were true, things were about to get a lot more complicated. For both of them. “It is. Merry day before Christmas.”
 
Luka squints down at her. “Is that a saying?”
 
Abby snorts. “No. I’m just saying it.” She stretches her arms out and yawns. “Really, why are you waking me up?” Abby rolls her eyes and smiles when Luka just wiggles his eyebrows. “

Again?”

Lowering his mouth to her throat, he asks, “Do you have somewhere better to be?” Luka sucks softly at the pulse point and strokes a hand up to feather his fingers along her naked breast.
 
“No…” Abby gasps.
 
Luka stills. “No?”
 
Abby lets out a short laugh. “I meant no to your question. Not the other kind of no.”
 
“Thank God.” Luka chuckles and rolls so she’s straddling him. “You scared me a minute.” he lifts his hand to run it through her hair. 
 
Abby lowers her head to nip at his mouth. “I scare you a lot.”
 
Luka’s brows shoot up. “Yes, you do.”
 
Abby smiles into his eyes as his hands begin to roam. “I’m glad.”
 
They share a charged yet tender look before diving into their shared passion.

**************************************
 
Loose and satisfied, smiling softly in the afterglow, Luka rolls off from Abby. “Nice.”
 
Abby rolls her eyes at his habitual satisfied smirk. “Shut up.”
 
Luka just grins and pulls her against him. “I mean it.”
 
Abby snickers. “I did too.” She swats his chest. Content, she leans her head on his shoulder. “Luka…”
 
“Hmmm?” Luka is already drifting off in post-coital bliss. When Abby stays silent, he frowns down at her. “Abby? What’s wrong?”
 
Shaking her head, Abby snuggles in closer to him. “Nothing. I’m hungry.”
 
Letting out a relieved breath, Luka grins at her. “Well, I can fix that. How do you feel about Christmas eve pancakes at…” he squints at the alarm on the bedside table. “One in the morning?”
 
“Luka, that’s a lot of work. We’re both on at eight, and I have to stop home before I go in.”
 
Shrugging, Luka pulls his sweats from the heap of clothes they had shed. “I have some batter leftover. It will only take a few minutes.” He pulls his pants on and kisses her cheek, rolling out of bed.
 
Sighing, Abby watches as he walks bare-chested from the room to make pancakes in the middle of the night because she mentioned she was hungry. Flopping to her back, she feels a little pang of guilt that he always beat her to the punch when it came to doing the little things. She could have made them both some toast a lot faster than it would take for him to make pancakes. Damn it.

**************************

In the kitchen, Luka pulls the little container of leftover pancake batter from his fridge. Leaning back against the counter he shakes his head at himself. What

is

it about Abby that turns him into a blithering idiot? If he could admit to himself that he’s loved her for years, why couldn’t he admit it to her? Because she would run screaming, that’s why.
 
Moving to heat the griddle, his thoughts continue to circle. Even pretending to love someone else hadn’t quenched that deep connection he has with Abby. Friends my ass. It had always been more. Always

will be more

. He just needs to find his balls and admit to Abby that he wants her for more than a little while. Luka wants her forever, and always will.

*************************************
 
Breath hitching a little, Abby reaches for her robe. Her feelings were a mixed up jumble in her heart and mind. She knew she was desperately, ridiculously in love with him. But she wasn’t sure what

he

wanted. She knows Luka loves her, but is it the kind of love she has for him? Only time would tell, and the fact that she is almost

sure

she’s pregnant. Which is about to throw a wrench in the whole damn thing. Because she’s not sure she wants to be a mother (though if she’s honest with herself, she wants it so much it terrifies her). But she’s damn sure she wants Luka. 
 
Rolling her eyes, she pads out to lean on the counter to watch Luka flipping pancakes on his stovetop griddle. “Do you ever wonder who came up with the idea of the pancake?”
 
Luka startles a little at Abby’s question, and then grins over his shoulder. “I haven’t given it any thought, but they’re a genius.”
 
Nodding, Abby moves to his refrigerator to pull out butter and syrup. “Thank you, Luka.” she murmurs quietly.
 
Turning with two plates in hand, Luka sets them on the table and pulls her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead, he softly answers her in kind. “You’re welcome.” A little sad to break the quietly intimate moment, Luka squeezes Abby’s hands. “Sit down and eat before it gets cold.”
 
Abby’s lips tilt up in a smirk. “You know, it’s almost two. We can just consider this breakfast and sleep in a little.”
 
Nodding, Luka cuts a slice of pancake. “That is an excellent idea. Just one more reason to keep you.”
 
Startled at his teasing words, Abby drops her eyes to her plate and her brows draw together. What exactly did he mean by

that? Keep

her? As in…well. She clears her throat. “I am pretty handy to have around.”
 
Luka reaches over and squeezes her hand, knowing exactly where her thoughts had gone, as his were running a parallel path after blurting those words out. What the hell. “Yes, you are.” he smiles softly at her and leans in to kiss her.
 
They eat in silence, holding hands and enjoying the quiet night with the snow falling softly against the dining area window. 
 
Luka breaks the silence. “We didn’t have snow like this back home.” 
 
Abby laces her fingers with his and cocks her head. “Really?”
 
Smiling a little, Luka shakes his head. “Up north we got some. Especially in…” he trails off. 
 
Abby squeezes his hand in silent acknowledgment. “What about Dubrovnik?”
 
He grins. “Rarely. I remember the few times it snowed when I was a boy. We would run out and try to catch the snowflakes on our tongues and hope school would be closed.”
 
Abby smirks. “Was it ever?”
 
“No. We never had enough.” Luka shakes his head. “I like the snow in Chicago. It’s something I’ve never really experienced before. I’ll bet you had snow days all the time in Minnesota.”
 
Abby snorts. “Yeah, but they weren’t as fun as you think they are. I would rather have been at school than…”
 
Luka nods and leans his forehead to hers. “I know.” 
 
Abby clears her throat. “Anyways. Thanks for breakfast.” She rises and pulls him with her, then clears their dishes and puts the food away. “Let’s go back to bed.”
 
Luka slides up behind her and pats her ass. “Yes, let’s.”