Work Text
Patrick's POV
The first day of high school is always pretty shit but when you're gay and in a wheelchair its even worse. I have a helper to push my chair or carry my books if I need it but the weird looks I get makes me feel crappy. My helper is called Joe and he's only 20 so we've become good friends but its still hard.No one's going to bully the disabled kid who always has a helper with him but no one wants to be my friend so its pretty lonely. Even though no one hits me or pushes me as I goes down the hall or talks shit, I can tell people think I'm weird.I get to school an hour before it starts so me and Joe can work out how I'm going to get around. There's no one else in school with a wheelchair but they have ramps so I can get to most places I need to go. For obvious reasons I can't do gym so I get a free period during gym but for all my other classes I can get there. The elevators are small but Joe's a professional at getting me where I need to go so I'm sure it'll all work out. The principal tried to give me as many ground floor classes as possible so I'm really glad that people seem to be so understanding.I'm a paraplegic so my legs are paralysed but if I cover them up I look mostly normal. I complain a lot but I know I could be paralysed worse or could have been amputated which would make people stare even more. Being disabled is never easy but I've been in a wheelchair since I was 8 so I'm used to the complications and being judged.10 minutes before school starts I need to get going so Joe arranges the blanket over my legs and pushes me to my first class. A lot of people stare but they get out of the way as Joe pushes me to math class. A girl even helps move the plastic chair out from under a desk so Joe can push me in. I can get around by myself but I've only just started high school so Joe will stay with me for at least the first week.Once we know I can get to all my classes and can take care of myself I'll be able to come alone but for now I have Joe. I know if I asked he'd keep coming to school with me but he has a life so I don't want to tie him down. At some point I need to be independent so I might as well start during high school and see how it goes.Most of the morning is easy until I need to go to the bathroom so Joe takes me during my free period. There's no one else in the bathroom so we can go into the disabled toilets. Doing this alone is annoying but with Joe he can lift he onto the toilet then turn around while I pee.Once I'm done he carries me back onto the chair, fixes the blanket again then takes me to wash my hands. The free period is pretty boring but we sit outside under a tree and do the small amount of homework I've already got.Lunchtime is even more terrifying because going to the cafeteria would be so embarrassing and I have no one to sit with. Next week I won't be able to sit with Joe and I don't want to be the weird disabled boy sitting by himself. If I asked I don't think people would refuse to let me sit with them but I don't want pity and I don't want to intrude. Letting people watch me struggle to carry a tray of food and struggle to move a chair away from the table would be humiliating. I'll need to find a different place to eat where I won't be judged.I didn't bring food but Joe offers to buy me food so I wait in the hall outside and text my mom about how the days been. She didn't want me to go to school but I'm glad I did because I want to try to be as normal as possible.Some people walk past and look pityingly at me but none of them say anything so I ignore them. Joe's taking a while so I try not to get nervous and watch as a group of guys walk towards me.They point at me and they're laughing but I'm used to being a freak so I look at the ground and clutch my phone to my chest. I hope they'll walk past and leave me alone but they stop a couple of feet away and they're laughing and pushing at each other.Eventually one guy walks over to me. I wait to see what he's going to say but instead he sits down in my lap and wraps his arms around my neck."Hi there""Who are you?""I'm Pete, nice to meet you""Hi?""You looked lonely so I thought I'd come brighten up your day""Is there any reason you need to brighten my day from in my lap?""I've found that pretty boys like having me in their lap, I'm very attractive""But your big ego overshadows it"He pouts but doesn't move from my lap so I sigh and wish I could stand up to shove him on the floor. I don't know what he's trying to do but its embarrassing that he's in my lap and I can't do anything about it."My ego isn't that big, its maybe like the size Manhattan but its not quite Texas sized yet""Can you please get off?""Why? Am I making you hard? Shit that was rude, can you even get boners?"I've got a lot of questions but no one's ever asked me whether my dick works so I ignore it and try to push him off. Pete's not getting off so I sigh and give up, hoping that Joe will come back soon."Come on its a relevant question, does your dick work?""Yeah it does but you're not making me hard, you're pissing me off""I'm gorgeous so there must be something wrong with you if I don't make you hard""I'm in a fucking wheelchair, of course there's something wrong with me. I don't know what you're trying to do but I'm humiliated so just leave, you've got what you want"I can see Joe coming down the hall so I cover my face while Pete gets out of my lap and runs off.Joe asks me what was happening but I shake my head and let him push me back to the tree we spent my study period under. He got me a grilled cheese sandwich, my favourite, but after Pete I'm not hungry.For the rest of the day I don't see him which is lucky because Joe's pretty pissed. He eventually made me tell him what Pete was doing in my lap and if he saw Pete I feel like he'd punch him. Joe's the most amazing person but he really cares about me and hates the idea of someone taking advantage of me.At the end of the day Joe has to leave for a college course so I give him a hug then wheel myself to the bathroom. Of course when I get there Pete's fixing his eye liner so I ignore him and go into the disabled toilet.I hated this at first because lifting myself out of the chair is hard but I've gotten good at it by now. Pete seems very surprised when I come out barely 5 minutes later and wash my hand next to him. I guess he thought I was a stupid cripple who couldn't do anything by himself and he's probably wondering what I did.I'm about to leave when Pete grabs the handle of the chair and stops me from being able to go anywhere. This is another reason I hate the chair because I can't pull away and walk off like a normal person. I have to wait until he lets go so I can try to open the door and get out, I'm totally vulnerable."Hi again""Go away Pete""You remember my name?""You're the only person who's sat in my lap so of course I remember your name"He seems happy about that but doesn't let go of the handle of my chair so I try to swat his hand away "What do you want Pete?""I like you, you're cute""Just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I'm some cute little kid""No I mean you're attractive, that's why I sat in your lap""Well I think you're a dick so can I leave now?""Do you wanna hang out with me at lunch tomorrow?""No""You're rude, if you're this much of a dick to everyone I can understand why you don't have any friends"Pete's such a dick so I try to pull away again but he's holding on tight and I can't go anywhere. I know I can be mean sometimes but I'm only mean to Pete because he's rude. He's right but I didn't need to hear him tell me I'm a loser, I tell myself it enough.Joe likes me and he's my friend so I guess I don't drive everyone away. I know it's his job to take care of me and he only does it because he gets paid but I know he likes me. He doesn't have to spend so much time around me but he does because he's my best friend and I hope I'm his too. He told me about his girlfriend and how he's scared of having sex so I'm sure we're friends."Go away Pete, I'm just a stupid asshole so leave me alone""I didn't mean it like that""But that's what you said and you're right. I have no friends because I'm a weird cripple who's a jerk to everyone, I get it so you can go away"I really wish I could storm off but Pete crawls into my lap again and wraps me in a tight hug. I don't hug back but I don't push him away because its the first time in ages anyone except my mom or Joe have hugged me."Alright Pete, get off me now""I like it here, you're warm and squishy""If you're calling me fat you can just say it, its kind of hard to exercise when you spend all of your time in a chair""I'm not calling you fat, I'm calling you squishy and I mean it in the best way"I don't know how you can call someone squishy in a good way but Pete seems impossible to argue with so I let it go."I don't actually know your name, you never told me""I was hoping you'd leave me alone, its Patrick""That suits you, you look like a saint""And have the attitude of the devil""Yeah but you're pretty so I forgive you for being a dick""Do you really wanna have lunch with me?""Yeah of course, it'll just be me and you if you want"Hanging out with Pete might be a terrible mistake but its not like I've got any other offers so I reluctantly agree. This was a good choice because Pete gets off my lap and ruffles my hair "I'll see you tomorrow cutie""Whatever, I'll see you then"He opens the door for me so I can wheel out to find my mom. It was nice of him to open the door and he's the only person who wants to be my friend so I'm not too annoyed. Pete can be kinda sweet even though his mouth has no filter and he can be weird sometimes.When my mom asks about my day I say it was good but don't mention Pete because I don't wanna get her hopes up. She wants the best for me so if I tell her I made a friend she'll get excited but if Pete realises he doesn't like me it'll kill me to tell her.The next day I spend most of the morning trying to convince Joe that Pete's a nice guy. Joe makes me promise that I'll keep my phone with me and I won't do anything stupid but he agrees to us hanging out. He leaves me by the door to the school so I sit under the tree from yesterday and look around for Pete.He's late so I'm about to start my lunch when he comes bounding over and sits on the grass at my feet."Hi Patty""Hi Pete, don't call me that""Why not? It's adorable just like you""Its dumb"We eat in silence until I look down and see Pete stroking my ankle with his thumb. I can't feel it if he touches me below the waist and I don't know if he knows that but its a cute gesture. I can imagine how his fingers are probably rough and they'd feel really nice against my skin.He keeps doing it until I let my hand fall down and stroke through his hair. Now that I look at it it's definitely brown and been dyed black but even with his messy roots it's hot."Patrick can you feel this?""No, I can't feel anything in my legs""Really?""Yeah, sometimes I get sharp pains but I can't feel you touching me, its nice though""I like you playing with my hair, its hot""You're hot""I know"Pete's ego is just as big as always but instead of it being annoying I find it kind of endearing so I laugh and flick his ear.My body always has really bad timing and I hate myself for it. Just as I see Pete's hand start to slide up my calf I need to pee so I swat Pete's hand away and fix my blanket."Pete I need to go to the bathroom""Aw you're just trying to get away from me""No I really need to go""Wait for later, I want to get as much time as possible with you""I need to go now Pete, I don't any bladder control, I need to go"He's sitting in front of me so I have to carefully back my chair up to get around him. When Pete sees what I'm doing he jumps to his feet and grabs both handles of my chair, holding me in place."Why are you running away? Did I do something wrong?""I need the bathroom Pete""I've heard that before. I've gone on dates with girls and they pretended to go to the bathroom then left, I'm not letting you do that""Come with me then, I really need to go"Pete still doesn't let me move so I frantically push at his chest and hold back the tears in my eyes. I knew this was a bad idea because he's not letting me leave and I'm scared. This was probably all a plan to humiliate me. There's no way someone like Pete would want to be my friend and there's no way everything he's said is true. I'm desperately trying to get away but Pete's watching me struggle and he's not laughing but I can tell he's amused.I wasn't kidding when I said I have no bladder control. I try to hold on as long as I can but Pete never lets me go so I eventually fail.I can't stop myself from looking down and covering my face as tears start to run down my cheeks. There's an absorbent blanket under me in case of emergency but the feeling of liquid running down my thighs is horrible. This has happened before and I know none of it will leak but I'm so ashamed and I feel dirty and gross. This hasn't happened in months and its never happened while I'm in public. Usually it only happens at night or when I'm at someone else's house where it's not easy for me to use the toilet.My mum keeps a spare blanket under the chair so I can fix myself up but the fact it's happening with Pete sucks. For a second while he was touching me I let myself fantasise that maybe he'd be my first kiss. We're out here in privacy so I let myself hope that he might like me in that way and he'd want to kiss me.Now it's obvious Pete was only fucking with me and he doesn't want to kiss me or be my friend. He like everyone else and wants to fuck with the stupid crippled kid and see how much he can humiliate me."Pete get the fuck out of the way""I don't want you to leave, I want to be your friend""Get out of the way I don't want to be your friend, I just want you to leave me alone"I'm sobbing now but the feeling of Pete leaning down to hug me isn't nice like before, it feels like I'm suffocating. At least he isn't sitting in my lap but I'd prefer it if he did because then he'd know what happened and he'd just leave.I don't want to tell him because he'll tell his friends how I wet my pants. I don't want to embarrass myself but I don't have a choice, he's not going to leave me alone."Pete I need to leave""I want to be your friend, what did I do wrong?""I need to leave, let me leave""What did I do to upset you?""Shut up Pete, just go away""Tell me why""I fucking pissed myself ok asshole? You wouldn't let me leave so I pissed myself like a 5 year old. Is that what you wanted to know? Just fuck off and tell your friends how the stupid crippled boy pissed himself in front of you, I'm sure you'll all find it hilarious"Finally he lets me go so I wheel myself away as fast as possible, trying to ignore how my pants are soaking wet.When I get to the bathroom its empty again so no one is here to witness my embarrassment. I've never had to do this by myself but there's new clothes and a new blanket under my chair so I set to work. Once I'm in new clothes I wrap the old ones in a plastic bag and put them under the chair then do the same to the blanket.Like I hoped the chair isn't wet so I flatten out the new blanket and pull myself onto the chair. I spray some deodorant to hide the smell and settle the second blanket back across my knees. Using some toilet paper I clean the tears off my face then once I'm decent I wheel out of the cubicle.I wash my hands then as I'm about to leave Pete bursts in and kneels down in front of me "I'm sorry Patrick, I'm really sorry""Get out of my way""I'm sorry, I really am sorry""Get out of the way or this time I'll run you down""I deserve it, I'm so sorry"He's literally on his knees begging for me to forgive him so I sigh and my hand runs through his soft hair again "You're a complete asshole""I know, I'm so sorry""It's ok""Do you want me to do anything? Should I find the guy you're always with or do something to help?""I fixed it, I already texted Joe and asked him to meet my by the front door"Pete seems relieved because I guess he thought I was going to make him help clean up the mess I made but I never would. I don't know how much I like Pete anymore but he's attractive and fun to be around so I'd never want him to see me like that. It doesn't get much worse than cleaning up your own piss after you wet your pants so I'd never let Pete be around for that. I'd rather be alone and clean up my shame than get help from someone like Pete who I desperately want to impress.I'm already at so much of a disadvantage trying to win Pete over because I'm so grouchy and I'm disabled. I can't properly have sex or be a good boyfriend but I really like Pete and I want him to like me back. If I could I'd hide the fact I'm in the wheelchair and make him think I'm perfect so he'd want me. I really regret telling him what happened so I want to move on so Pete will forget it."Would you mind walking with me to the door?""Yeah of course, do you need me to push the chair?""No I'm ok with doing it by myself, it would be nice if you walk with me though"Pete nods and stands up, opening the door for me and waiting for me to wheel myself out. It takes me a while to get places because my arms get tired and I don't want to annoy Pete but he lets me set the pace. We're half way there when I start getting tired and even though I feel useless, I'm happy when Pete stops me."Patrick are you sure you don't want me to help? I'm fine with pushing you if its easier""It's ok, I don't want to bother you""You don't bother me, I fucked up and I want to be your friend so don't be shy to ask for help. If we become friends I'm going to end up calling you at ridiculous times when I get grey so don't worry about needing help""Thank you, it would be nice if you don't mind pushing me"He takes hold of my handles and starts pushing me down the hall. It's a lot faster than I'd be able to do and I'm glad because I don't want to make Joe wait for me for too long."Pete, what do you mean by getting grey?""I have depression so sometimes it gets really shit and I can't feel anything so I call it getting grey. Everything dulls and I hate life and its really hard to get out of that mood""I'm sorry, that sucks""What sucks is being in a wheelchair all the time, I have no right to complain about getting sad""I was depressed after the accident so I get it, depressions really hard so you shouldn't worry about asking for help either"Pete leans down and kisses the top of my head then neither of us say anything more until we get to where Joe's waiting. He fusses over me and send Pete little glares every time he thinks Pete isn't watching but I convince him its not Pete's fault. I know Pete didn't mean to do that to me so I don't want Joe to be too pissed off at him.Obviously Pete realises how awkward this is for me because he steps away while I hand Joe the plastic bags. Joe says he'll put them in his car and take them home for my mother to wash which is really nice.He's got another course so I send him off after assuring him that I'm ok and if I need anything Pete will help me. Once I've told him I'll be fine almost a hundred times Joe finally leaves so I can sigh in relief.I know I'll get a lot of questions from my mother about why I had an accident but it'll be fine. She always worries about me and even though I wish she wasn't forced to always take care of me, it shows she loves me.Pete comes over to me and I can see him watching me so I move my hands from my lap so Pete can sit down. His finger draws little circles above the collar of my jacket and he leans in so he's whispering right in my ear."You can feel this right?""Yeah, I only lost feeling in my legs""Do you like this?""Yeah""How would you feel if I kissed you?""I don't know, I've never done it before but I presume I'll like it"He pulls back slightly and gives me a cute little smile "You've never been kissed?""I don't have a lot of friends and I've never had a boyfriend so this'll be my first kiss""I can't wait, I'll make sure its the best kiss ever ok? I want to make sure everything is perfect for you because you are so beautiful and special"I giggle slightly at how mushy he's being and gasp when he presses his lips to my cheek. His lips are chapped but I can feel his hot breath which is really nice. He's got a tiny bit of stubble that scratches at my face but I like the feeling because its Pete."Patrick you aren't mad at me are you?""No I'm not mad at you, you didn't mean to do anything""I should have listened to you, I really am sorry""It's ok, you didn't know and you won't do it again. I know being with me is harder than being with other people but I'm glad you're here and I care about you""I'm not going anywhere"Pete's lips are so close to mine so I wrap my arms around Pete's waist and pull him to me. He takes the hint and pushes his lips to mine, licking at my bottom lip until I open my mouth for him.With some impressive moves Pete manages to turn around so he's straddling my lap without breaking the kiss. His arms are wrapped around my neck and mine cling to his waist so its the most perfect thing I've ever done.By the time we break away I'm out of breath and can feel myself getting hard from the way Pete's grinding down on me. I know he can feel how hard I'm getting so I'm glad when he takes one of my hands off his waist and presses it to his dick. He's hard as well so I squeeze gently until he moans and rest my forehead against his shoulder."That was amazing Pete""You were amazing Patty, I'd love to do that another time when we're not in the middle of the school hallway""That'd be fun""Would you be allowed to come to my house or would that Joe guy kill you?""He'd probably kill me but I can try to convince him to let me. As long as my mom agrees I can get Joe on board with it, he wants what's best for me and we're really good friends""So I need to win him over?""Yeah you do, it'll be hard to gossip about you with him if he hates you"Pete laughs quietly and gives me one last kiss before getting off my lap and smoothing my blanket down "Let's get you to class pretty boy"For once I let him push me and don't argue because Pete is so cute when he's running down the hall laughing as he pushes me. If he could I'm guessing he'd jump on the back like a shopping cart and ride with me down the hall.There's still 10 minutes until class starts so Pete climbs back in my lap and wraps an arm around my shoulders. He talks about bands he likes and rants about gay rights until the bell goes.People start walking past but Pete doesn't bother to move from my lap so I hold him closer. By the time he gets off he's going to be late to class but I let him pull me into a kiss then tug my blanket over my boner. Pete laughs when he sees me covering it so I blush and take his hand "I'll see you tomorrow""I'll see you then, you're awesome Patrick""Thank you, I really like you"I watch him walk off then wheel myself into the class and promise myself to go home and watch some porn. Pete's nice and I doubt we'll do those things yet but I want to know what to do. It won't be easy and if we have sex he'll probably have to ride me so I want to know as much as possible. We can't easily do things like that so I'll look up ways for disabled people to do it and see if people have good tips. I like Pete and even though he can be a dick and a bit weird, I definitely want a relationship with him.