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Kurt couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t have his soulmate tattoo. According to his foster parents, it hadn’t appeared until he was two years old, a name written in rosy gold cursive right over his heart. When he’d been six years old and just learning to read they’d photographed it for him, so he could learn what it said. ‘Katherine Anne Pryde’. The fuzzy blue boy had obsessed over it, grateful to know that there was at least one person in the world who would be able to see past his appearance. Even after joining the X-Men it still remained one of his fondest mementos.There was a knock on the door. “Come in.”Scott opened it. “We’ve got a new student coming in today. I thought you’d want to greet her.”“Sure thing. Do you want the fuzzy blue elf or the normal hologram?”“Her name’s Katherine Anne Pryde. Which one do you want?” Kurt realized why Scott had warned him. The ruby-eyed teen was one of the few who knew about Kurt’s soulmate tattoo, having seen it when Kurt had been changing after an intense Danger Room session. As a show of faith, he’d also shown Kurt his, ‘Jean Grey’, on the back of his head, underneath his hair. Kurt had asked how he’d even found it, and Scott had told him about a prank his younger brother had played on him when they were kids. They’d had a good laugh about that and it had really been the start of their friendship.“Blue and fuzzy then. She’s my soulmate. She should be alright with it.”The Professor brought Katherine in. Strange, when he had imagined his soulmate, he thought she would look like him, blue fur, gold eyes, strange body, and all. Instead, she looked like a normal person. Not that he minded, she looked adorable with her chestnut hair, blue eyes, and heart-shaped face. He waited for the Professor to finish with the introductions. “And finally we have one more student, just a couple of years older than you. His name is-”“Hi!” He teleported right behind her. “My name’s Kurt Wagner and-” Before he could finish, she screamed and phased right through Storm standing behind her.“What on Earth is that?!?” She shouted, pointing at him.“That is Kurt Wagner, and he’s a mutant, just like the rest of us.” “You mean that thing is human?” Professor X frowned at the girl. “Just as human as you and I.”“But-but,” she looked him up and down from her position on the floor. “How?”“Many mutants do in fact look just the same as you and I. For others the mutation includes physical differences, and Mr. Wagner is one of them.” Kurt knelt and held his hand out. “Ha, sorry for scaring you like that, Katherine. I was just happy that we had a new student coming.” He flashed her a smile.Kitty didn’t return it. In fact, she might have shrunk away. But after taking a moment to visibly steel herself, she put her hand in his and let him pull her up. “Uh, hi then. I guess you can call me Kitty since we’ll be going to school together.”“Kitty? Then can I call you Katzchen?”“Um, sure, like, do whatever you want.” As soon as she was up, she pulled away again.“Jean, Kitty’s had a long day. Why don’t you show her to a guest room and then we’ll figure out a more permanent arrangement when the rest of her possessions come up from Illinois.” The redhead nodded and put her hand on the younger girl’s shoulder steering her towards the stairs. The Professor, Storm, and Logan also disappeared into the Professor’s office. That left Kurt and Scott in the parlor. The older teen scuffed the younger on the shoulder. “So it turned out she wasn’t quite ready for the fuzzy one. Give her time.”“She probably will get over it. You could see that she was making an effort, even though she was still frightened of me.”“Hey man, what’s wrong? You just met your soulmate today. Sure, she freaked out when she saw you but you’ll win her over easily.”“It’s not the appearance thing that bothers me,” he turned to the taller man and tried to smile. It probably wasn’t very convincing. “Didn’t you notice?”“Notice what?”“She didn’t recognize my name.” Scott’s mouth dropped open. “Remember those statistics we found? One out of ten individuals has a soulmark. Ninety-nine out a hundred people with soulmates will meet and match their soulmate. Looks like I beat the odds; I’m one of the .1% with a one-sided soulmate bond!”Scott shut his mouth and said nothing, just patted the younger boy on the shoulder. Kurt was silently thankful for his discretion. He probably would have punched the other if he said anything.Still, as he made his way to his room, a small hope bloomed in his heart. He wasn’t Kitty’s soulmate. That didn’t mean he couldn’t win her over the normal way.
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“Ehehem. Hey, Kitty. How’s it going?” An artificially deepened voice caught the Jewish girl’s attention. Kitty looked over at the overly-muscled Nightcrawler standing at her doorway. Did he think she was an idiot? Muscles do not develop that way overnight.“Hey, let me think about it. I’ll call you back.” Kitty hung up on Lance and tried not to laugh. Well, tried not to laugh too hard. “What have you done to yourself?”Kurt walked over. “I’ve been working out! Can you tell?” The hologram abruptly faded away. “Oh, bummer.”Kitty giggled again. “You shouldn’t be messing with your image inducer, Kurt.” To her surprise, there was another change revealed. Kitty could see rosy-gold lettering peeking just over the top of his muscle shirt. Katherine Anne, she saw in familiar handwriting. “Oh!”Her exclamation made his stop fiddling with the watch. For a second, he looked confused but another glance down cleared that up. “I guess there’s no point in hiding it any further.” He reached up and tugged the shirt down a little further. And yup, there was Pryde in the same rosy-gold handwriting.You could have cut the awkward silence with a knife and served it up on a plate.Kitty cleared her throat. “I guess that explains why you seemed so familiar with my name when I arrived.”“Ja. Don’t worry though, I don’t expect more than you want to give. After all, you didn’t recognize my name when we met.”Oh boy. Kitty had seen this happen with other people, she’d never dreamed she’d have to deal with this scenario herself. It was pretty obvious by the way Kurt had kept flirting with her from day one that he thought she was one of the unmarked. Kitty admitted she was pretty shallow but she wasn’t cruel enough to lead someone on like that. “Kurt, I’m sorry. I have a soulmark too.”Kurt glanced at the phone, worried. “Lance?”“What? No, of course not.” He looked skeptical. “We’re just friends. Lance has got his own soulmark and it’s not me.”“But you go on dates together.”“We hang out together. A guy and a girl can enjoy spending time simultaneously without being in a romantic relationship. Besides, Lance is a good guy deep down. I don’t want to alienate him, I want to convince him to join the X-Men.” He looked like he didn’t believe her. “I’ve never seen your soulmark. Where is it?”She really didn’t want to do this, but it looked like he wouldn’t leave it alone until she showed him. “Alright,” Kitty stood up. “But you can’t tell anyone about this, OK?”“I promise.”Kitty untucked her shirt and unzipped her jeans while she continued to speak. “Jean and Rogue know about this already. Rogue because we’re roommates, Jean because she’s a nosy brat who won’t mind her own business and keeps snooping around in other people’s minds. But I don’t want anyone else to know.”She started to push down her pants, ignoring Kurt’s wide eyes and quickened breathing. The location wasn’t that private (if it had been, she wouldn’t have shown it to him no matter how he asked), but it was easily covered. For a moment she regretted wearing skinny jeans, looser clothes would have been easier to maneuver. With one hand she pulled her shirt up, and the other tilted the waistband of her pants down. Kurt leaned forward, close enough she could feel his breath and read the deep blue, flamboyant words aloud. “Michael Sebastian Darkholme.” He leaned back again and Kitty pulled her clothes back together.For a moment they sat in silence. “Well, it’s not Lance at least. I don’t think he would have been very good for you. How long have you had it?”“Since I was born.” So her soulmate was probably older than her.“Have you met him already?”“Not yet. But Kurt … I’m not one of those people who’s willing to fool around while waiting for my soulmate. I’m sorry, but what you’re trying to do … I can’t accept it.”He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, those strange yellow orb focussed on her. “I understand. Thank you for telling me.”“So, like, if you want to stop being friends-”“Of course not! I mean, yeah, I started this with the goal of winning you over. But you’re a nice person Katzchen. Even if we’re never together, I’d hate to lose your friendship.”“That’s good.” Kurt had become a dear friend to her too. Most guys would have gotten mad when she told them it was pretty much hopeless. Kurt may have started the friendship with ‘nice guy’ intentions but the fact he could accept being rejected put him above most of those losers. “You’re going to have to tone down the flirting though.”“I have to flirt a little though! It’s part of who I am!”“That’s fine, but no more messing with your holowatch okay?”“As you wish!” They sat on her bed and Kitty reveled in the absence of some tension that had always been between them. “For the record, as your best friend, I reserve the right to give Michael Sebastian Darkholme the shotgun talk.”Kitty giggled again. “It’s ‘Shovel Talk’, not ‘Shotgun Talk’.”“What is the difference?”“I’ll tell you later.”“Darkholme, huh? Have you considered-”“-asking Principle Darkholme? When I first moved here and heard the name I considered it. But Principle Darkholme’s intimidating with a capital I.”“Yeah, I’d be too scared to say anything either.”
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“Kurt? Are you alright?” Kitty had bypassed knocking entirely and leaned halfway through the door.“Katzchen?” Kurt looked up from his bed.“You went straight to your room after school. Didn’t even stop for a snack.” She entered the room fully, and Kurt saw she was carrying a small plate with crackers, cheese and apple slices, and a couple of bottles of water with her. “That’s not like you.”“I’m fine. Just tired.” At her frown, he clarified. “From finals.”The statement didn’t lift the frown from her face, instead, it made it deeper. “I don’t believe you.” The sight of her distress stopped him from lying to her. He never could say no to her. Kurt sat up and let his best friend take a seat next to him.“I just … I’m scared about what this means for me in the future. Mystique’s a terrible person. What does that say about me? Am I a monster too?”“We won’t let you become a monster,” stated Kitty confidently. “Mystique’s responsible for her own actions and choices. If the X-Men see you going down that path, we’ll kick your fuzzy butt until your head gets screwed back on correctly.”“Thanks, Katzchen. But I’m not entirely sure I believe you.”“I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this, Elf.”“I know, I know. But would you extend the same courtesy to your soulmate?”Kitty stilled. Back when Rogue had first revealed that Principle Darkholme was actually Mystique, Kitty had stated she was glad she hadn’t asked about her soulmate. While there was a possibility that ‘Michael Sebastian Darkholme’ wasn’t related to the shapeshifter, the name was fairly uncommon. The revelation had prompted her to start looking beyond the name on her hip. Kurt hadn’t started dating her yet, but there was no question that he (and Lance, but he tried not to think about that) was the biggest beneficiary of Kitty’s determination to fight fate.“Are you suggesting that I start looking for ‘Michael Sebastian Darkholme’ again?”“Well … maybe. Who your soulmate is says a lot about you. You’re not an evil person so I can’t imagine your soulmate is either. And it would be more proof I’m not destined to villainously betray the X-Men just because I’m Mystique’s son too.”Her gaze was calm but slightly sad. “If I go back to that, you know, you’re going to have to stop flirting with me. For real this time. It’s one thing when I’m contemplating not seeking out my soulmate but if I choose to do this, I’m not going back. It’ll mean watching me go out with Lance again. Or other people.”“I can handle it.” But his eyes weren’t as certain as his voice.“Maybe you should take some of your own advice.”“How so?”“Back when we first found out, you suggested seeing someone else. Not just Lance so that people wouldn’t bother me but to look for a real relationship with someone other than my soulmate. I’m pretty sure that was just for your benefit-” He nodded and she continued. “But perhaps you should start looking for someone else too. Unlike me, you know who your soulmate is. You won’t be in Limbo wondering if you should wait for that person or not.”“And if it turns out that Michael Sebastian is just like his mother?”“Then I dump him faster than you can bolt down a Gutburster Burger. But even then Kurt, that would be no guarantee that the two of us would get together. I never liked the thought of you waiting your entire life for me.”“But Kitty, even if we never get together, you are the best person out there for me.”“Yes. However, given the number of people in the world, there are others who are almost as good for you. We’re like Angel and Buffy. We might have perfect happiness together but there are billions of other people who get by on regular, ordinary happiness. This doesn’t have to be a tragedy if we don’t make it into one.”He swallowed uncomfortably. “I-alright. It’s wrong for me to give you that advice and then not take it myself. But … I don’t have to start seeing anyone immediately, do I?”She gave him a puzzled look. “Do you have someone in mind already?”“Nein. It’s just … I’ll need a little time to let go. I gave up and then I had hope and now you’re taking that hope away again.”“Do you want me to stay away from you for a while?”“Definitely not. You're my best friend. This would be so much harder without you. But please, let me take my time finding someone.”She smiled up at him gently. “I can do that.”
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“Rogue, Kurt, I just want you to know that the things I did … all the things I did . . . were because I-”“None of us want to hear your excuses Mystique,” snapped out Rogue. “There’s nothing we want from you.”In another world, that would have been the end of it. Rogue and Kurt would have walked off, Mystique would have disappeared into the shadows. They’d never even try to connect again, and would only face each other from across battlefields. But that’s not what happened.“Nothing? Nothing at all?”Kurt paused when he heard those barely whispered words. Rogue probably had missed them in the night wind. But as it turned out, there was one thing that Mystique could give Kurt. When Rogue urged him to move forward, he carefully shook her arm off and turned around. “Kurt!” He raised one hand to stop her.“There’s one thing I want that only you could give me, Mystique.” Yellow eyes looked up to meet yellow eyes. Not similar at all, except the shade of yellow was exactly the same in both. “I want to know … what’s my birth name? What was the name you gave me before that bridge so long ago?”The silence was choking. Just before Kurt thought she wouldn’t tell him anything, blue lips parted. “Michael. I was going to call you Michael Sebastian Darkholme.”“What? What did you say?” Rogue apparently hadn’t heard her over the breeze, but to Kurt, she’d been loud and clear. “Thank you, mutter.” With that, he turned back and let Rogue take his weight again. Understanding that the conversation was over, his sister started to guide him back to the plane. “She must have answered you,” Rogue noted. “You’re smilin’ now.”“I just found out what my real name is.”“Yeah, so?”“I always thought I was part of the .1% of the population with a one-sided soulmate bond. Now I know that my soulmate is the person I’ve thought it was all along.” Rogue slowly walked back with her brother while she processed his words. She only spoke again once everyone was back on the plane. “So your real name is Michael Sebastian Darkholme?”“Ja!”“And Kitty’s your soulmate?”“Ja!”“And how are you going to tell her that?”“I-uh … ““You ain’t considered that part yet, had ya?” Kurt shook his head. “Also, you’ve both got separate lives and lovers now. Have you thought of that?”“Kitty’s only going out with Lance as a cover. They’ve both agreed to break it off if either one found their soulmate.”“And what about Amanda?” He stayed silent. “Kurt, does she even know you have a soulmark?”He cleared his throat. “We haven’t . . . gotten that far yet.”Rogue kept her voice as gentle as she could. “This is … gonna look really bad, y’know? She’s gonna ask why you never told her about that up front. And when she finds out it’s Kitty, she’s gonna be even madder because then it will look like you were using her.”“I, I didn’t think … Kitty asked me to move on. I thought that was what I was doing.”“You ain’t the first to go chasing someone else when you couldn’t get what you wanted. But usually, it helps to be up-front about these things so that the other person can decide if you’re worth the potential mess.”His shoulders slumped. “I never even considered that.”“That’s what Kitty and Lance did when they started steppin’ out. Not just Amanda, but Kitty’s gonna be disappointed when she hears about what you did. And even if Amanda doesn’t tell her, I will. She deserves to know the truth.”“I’ll … come up with something.” He looked up again. “Rogue, can’t you just be happy that I’ve finally- ““I am happy for you, little brother.” She reached out to ruffle his hair. “But one of us has got to keep a level head over these things, and it sure as sunlight ain’t gonna be you.”
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Kurt rang the doorbell and waited. After a few minutes, Mr. Sefton opened the door with a frown. “Wagner,” he said in a chilly tone.“Uhm, guten tag, Herr Sefton. I’m here to see your daughter again.” Kurt waved and cringed. Thanks to Toad, he hadn’t made a good impression on the Seftons in the first place and they’d never gotten over it. Mr. Sefton hadn’t banned Amanda from seeing him but he made it pretty clear he didn’t approve. Tonight wasn’t going to improve his opinion of Kurt.“Amanda didn’t mention anything about the two of you having a date tonight.”“We’re not. I just need to talk to her about something.” The man moved aside and pointed Kurt up the stairs. “You can see her but no funny business. Keep the door open and her mother and I will be passing by to make sure the two of you haven’t crossed any lines.”“Jawohl, meine Herr.” The German wasn’t helping but Kurt was too nervous to care. He walked up the stairs (no teleportation in the house) and knocked on Amanda’s door. “Kurt? It’s great to see you but what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be studying for finals?” She pulled him in and tried to close the door but remembering Mr. Sefton’s words, Kurt used his tail to keep it open. When she opened her mouth to object, he shook his head and pointed down to where her father was watching. Understanding the gestures, Amanda left the door as is and went to sit on her bed. “So … ““Amanda, we need to talk.”Her eyes widened. “Are you breaking up with me?”“Vas? Why do you ask that?”“Well, it’s sort of cliche, isn’t it? If two people get together in private and one of them says they need to talk, and they’re not on some sort of crime drama, then it usually means one of them is having doubts about their relationship.”Kurt winced and sighed. “I’d like to say you’re wrong … but that is what I’m here for. Yes, Amanda, I’m breaking up with you.”“Why? Is it because I’m not a mutant?”“Nein, that has nothing to do with it.”“Or because I won’t put out?”
“Natürlich nicht!”
“I-I don’t know what that means.”“Of course not. We’re way too young to be having kinder in the first place.”“So what is it then? Are you just tired of me?”“I met my soulmate.”A pregnant pause filled the air. “You have a soulmate?”“Ja.”“Is this a new thing? Was she … or maybe he just born?”“I’ve had a soulmark since I was two years old.”“Wait, you’ve known you had a soulmate all this time and you didn’t tell me?” Kurt nodded and hung his head. Amanda digested the words for a moment then slapped him.The German’s head rocked with the blow, and he looked up with wide eyes. “You deserve that. I would have entered this relationship very differently if I knew a soulmate was potentially involved.”“I guess I do.” He rubbed his cheek.“So what made you decide that now was the perfect time to break up? Did you just meet this person?”Kurt rubbed his cheek thoughtfully and scooted the chair back. Amanda got one punch, anything else and he’d strike back. “No, actually I met her three years ago. I think I met you first but I’m not sure.”“So let me get this straight, you’ve known you had a soulmate for as long as you can remember, and you even met her a while back but you decided to enter a relationship with me anyway, and let me believe there was no one else involved. And now it’s been several months and you decide to break up with me out of the blue.” Amanda stood and looked out the window. Turning around, her eyes were filled with tears. “You’re a bastard, Kurt Wagner. You deserve more than just a punch to the face.”“So says Rogue.”“Is she your soulmate?”“No, she’s my sister.”“So who is your soulmate?” For a moment, Kurt contemplated not telling her, as it really wasn’t any of her business. But then he realized he wasn’t going to hide his relationship and Amanda would find out anyway. “Kitty Pryde.”Surprise stopped the tears flowing down Amanda’s face. “Your best friend? I thought maybe it was a guy and you had been reluctant to get into more complications. Or maybe she’s the one who’s gay? I always thought her relationship with Lance seemed fake. Have you told her already?”“Not yet. I thought it a better idea to break up with you first.”“At least you had the decency to do that,” Amanda muttered and Kurt silently thanked Marie for steering him in this direction. “I guess you’ll be doing that when you leave here?”“Maybe not. She doesn’t know yet. It’s complicated.”“How?” When he shook his head, Amanda came back to the bed and gripped his chin forcefully, preventing him from looking away. “Kurt, you let me get into a relationship under false pretenses, stayed long enough for me to fall in love and are now breaking up with me by revealing that you lied to me for months! You owe me an explanation and some proof!”“Proof?” He thought for a moment, then tapped the heavy watch he wore. Amanda watched pale skin and blue eyes shudder and vanish, leaving blue fur and gold irises in its wake. Once the illusion was gone, he shrugged out of his jacket and pulled his shirt over his head. In any other circumstance, Amanda would have been all over him at that point. In this case, she was only focused on the rose gold lettering over his heart. “Katherine Anne Pryde. You’ve known her this long, and you’ve never told her either?”“Oh no, she knows. It’s just …” Amanda’s grip got vicelike as if he was going to run away before explaining everything. She was probably right to do so. “It’s just that her soulmark says ‘Michael Sebastian Darkholme’.”Amanda wasn’t an idiot. Kurt had explained what happened to the former Principle Darkholme and his connection to her. She put two and two together easily. “So the reason you’re breaking up with me … you only found out about your real name on that last mission you did.” He nodded silently.She let go and pulled away. "Go away, Kurt. I don’t want to see you ever again right now. I can’t even think through the pain and the anger and I don’t want to do or say something I’ll regret later.” Kurt nodded silently, not that she could see, and left the room. She’d have to see him on Monday but he’d give her the space she asked for right now.As he climbed down the stairs, he saw Mr. Sefton frowning and only remembered to pull on his shirt and reactivate his holowatch then. The older man’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something but Kurt cut him off. “Don’t worry, I won’t be back. And please tell her I’m sorry for hurting her.” He got out the door as fast as possible and teleported back as soon as he found a semi-isolated area.“So dude, what’s up with you and Amanda?” asked Bobby through a mouth full of food.“Ick! Swallow before you talk, Bobby!” complained Kitty, she and Marie moving from across him to sit next to Kurt.“Sorry,” Iceman swallowed. “But really, what gives? The two of you have been avoiding each other all morning.”It took a lot more than bad table manners to diminish Kurt’s appetite. “We broke up this weekend.”“Oh, Kurt! I’m so sorry to hear that!” Kitty leaned over and gave her best friend a hug. From over her shoulder, Rogue gave him an approving nod and turned back to her meal.“Wait, you said you guys broke up,” Bobby was still hung up on that. “So did you dump her or did she dump you? And who’s fault was it?”“I dumped her-”“And it was his fault too.” The other X-Men looked up at Amanda with shock. “Hi, guys. Mind if I join you for lunch? I just don’t want to sit next to Kurt right now.”Bobby and Rogue scooted over to leave room between them for Amanda. “Hey, not that we’re unhappy to see you, but I’m a little surprised,” said Bobby. “Didn’t you just break up with this joker? I woulda thought he’d be the last person you want to see.”Amanda smiled, a bit wavery but still a true smile. “He is. But that’s not the fault of the rest of you. I’m not going to stop being friends with the rest of you just because he lied.”Rogue gave her a confused but admiring look. “That’s really mature of you.”“Thanks, but not really. I’m also here to enjoy the fallout once he explains what happened.” Bobby and Rogue turned around to see Kitty glaring at Kurt.“Oh boy.”
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The knock on the door surprised Kurt and he fumbled with his towel. “Come in!”Rather than the door opening, instead he saw Kitty Pryde phase in. She flushed when she realized she had caught him just out of the shower and darted back out again. “Tell me when you’re decent!”He got his shorts on and told her to come in again. “We need to talk.” They settled on his bed and he waited. It took her a few minutes and several false starts before she decided on her words. “I’ve talked to Amanda about your break-up and now I want to hear your side of the story. Because I don’t want to accuse Amanda of bias, but what she said paints a very bad picture of you.”Kurt resisted the urge to let her believe that. Kitty and Amanda didn’t deserve to have him spreading misconceptions. Shoulders hunched up around his ears he started talking. “If what she said was that I didn’t tell her that I had a soulmate and then just dumped her when I thought there was a chance, then yes, it was all true. I did that.”“But why?” Kitty sounded completely bewildered. “It’s not like you to lie like that. You’re my best friend but this sounds as if you deliberately set out to hurt her and that’s not you. Or at least, that’s not who I thought you were.”“It wasn’t my intention to hurt her. Things just worked out that way.”“Explain it to me. Start with the part when the two of you start going out but you don’t warn her there’s a soulmate involved.”He flopped back on the bed, still avoiding her eyes. His tail, treacherous thing, slid out to wind around her wrist but she phased through it. “As you recall, she asked me out to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”“I remember that. I had a good time with Lance before-”“Before the dinosaurs showed up. Well, I obviously agreed but that was because you had asked Lance already and … I may have wanted to make you jealous.”“That was stupid. You know we don’t think of each other like that.”“Yeah, but if it wasn’t meant to be romantic, you could have asked me instead. I don’t think I wanted to kill him but I wouldn’t have said no to the opportunity to beat him up.”“And we got dinosaurs instead. You’ve told me this before. Amanda saw you without your holoimager and accepted you and that’s when you started dating. It all sounds great, except why didn’t you tell her about your soulmark?”“I guess because I didn’t take the relationship very seriously. I was thinking about what you said, about dating someone who isn’t my soulmate. And maybe making you sorry for continuing to date Lance when you weren’t serious about him either.”Very softly she whispered. “I was trying not to hurt you.”“Well, you did anyway. So, it comes down to the fact I didn’t think the relationship would ever last long enough for my soulmate to be a problem. And when it started getting serious, there never seemed to be a good time to tell her about it.”“You were a coward.”“Yes.”She sighed and shifted. “That’s not the best reason for anything, Kurt, but we’re all only human. I think I can forgive you for that. I don’t know about Amanda. You’ll have to talk to her about it eventually.”“Eventually, but not right now. She said she wanted some space so I’m giving it to her. She’ll let me know when she’s ready to talk to me again.”“For that part anyway. Now the second part. What changed? Why did you dump her like that?”“This is a bit more complicated. It goes back to when we were fighting Apocalypse.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and she made a circling gesture with her hand. “You were in China with Lance, rescuing Storm.”“Right.”“In Egypt, Rogue and I had a chance to talk to Mystique. Most of our conversation isn’t really important, but one thing I asked her was what my real name would have been.” For the first time, he looked at her, placing one three-fingered hand against her hip.Comprehension dawned on Kitty’s face. “All this time … you’ve been my soulmate?”“I can’t give you up that easily. When I knew there was a chance, I knew I couldn’t keep leading Amanda on like that. So after everything had settled down, the world was safe for now and exams were done, I went and broke up with her.” Kitty stayed silent for a while, prompting him to sit up. “Katzchen?”She shook her head, causing her ponytail to swing back and forth. “It’s a lot to think about.” He nodded but pulled her towards him. She let him for a second but then phased away the next. “Kurt I can’t do this.”“Vas? Why not?” He thought of Lance. “Is it because I look like this? I know that’s not what you were expecting from your soulmate?”“No that has nothing to do with it. It’s because we wouldn’t be starting this relationship cleanly. First, there’s Lance.”“Right, Lance. I’d forgotten about him,” muttered Kurt. She clearly heard it though and smiled at him. “I know you don’t like him, but I’m not going to cheat on him. So as soon as this conversation’s done, I will call him and tell him that I’ve found my soulmate. Lance and I started this relationship with the understanding that we’d break up with the other if we find our soulmate and I need to keep my side of the bargain.”“Okay then.”“The second part … you really didn’t treat Amanda fairly, Kurt. So I’m not going to start a new relationship with you until you’ve made it up to her.”“But Katzchen-”“No, Kurt. Just because she doesn’t have a soulmate doesn’t mean that the relationship you had with her was fake or shallow on her part. We can still be best friends but I refuse to be more until I know that she’s healed from what you did too.”“I guess that makes sense,” he said despondently. She leaned over and gave him one last hug. “I’m sure you’ll think of something to help her. You’re creative like that, Fuzzy.”Once she was gone he sprawled over his sheets again. “How do you make up for leaving someone for your soulmate? Amanda doesn’t have one so I can’t offer to help her find hers.” He spent the rest of the day thinking but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of anything to make up for what he had done.
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Amanda doesn’t know what’s up with Kurt right now but she wishes she’d never started dating him in the first place. Despite the fact he broke up with her weeks ago, he seems to have taken an inordinate interest in her life. First, it was helping her fill out all her college applications, then offering to chauffeur her to and from school then finally it was that disastrous blind date he arranged for her and Bobby when he decided to spy on them all evening. Bobby had actually seemed pretty nice and possibly her type … except they’d pretty much both been rendered complete nervous wrecks by Kurt’s heavy-handed monitoring of their date. Amanda considered giving Bobby another chance … after she figured out a way to get Kurt off her back. This behavior was downright creepy. He’d been less concerned about her when they were dating; in hindsight, half his mind had always been on Kitty Pryde the whole time. Maybe she had turned him down and he was trying to get back into Amanda’s graces? Well, fat chance of that happening.Amanda had stayed late tonight, half to finish writing her application essay, half to have an excuse not to let Kurt drive her home. She needed some time to think for herself and that wouldn’t happen in the car with his constant chatter. Although that might not have been the best idea.“Well, look who’s walkin’ alone at night. The mutie-lover.”God damn Duncan and his loser friends. The jock had kept quiet about what had happened, but everyone in Bayville knew the former Homecoming King had somehow managed to lose his scholarship and been expelled from college. He tried to play it off as him taking a gap year before transferring but rumor had it that whatever had happened had pretty much killed his prospects of joining any reputable institution. Of course, there were plenty of others who’d gladly take an American All-Star even with a ruined reputation. Whatever took Duncan, Amanda was going to avoid like the plague.“If you must Duncan, you should know that Wagner and I broke up months ago.”“Yeah, but everyone says he broke up with you, not the other way around.” He circled her like a starving wolf. “Not sure I wanna taint myself with the rat’s sloppy seconds, but you are easy on the eyes. Let me-”Amanda didn’t wait for him to finish talking. She swung her bag to the side, cold-cocking one of them straight away. Unfortunately, there were five of them and only one of her, so even getting one of them out didn’t improve her odds significantly. Soon enough, they had her pinned down and were ripping her clothes off while Duncan unzipped his jeans. Then suddenly he stopped, and the leer fell off his face.“You feel that? One good squeeze, and it’s all over for you Duncan.” Amanda couldn’t tilt her head the right way to see but that sounded like Kitty Pryde. “Now, unless the rest of you want to see him die, I suggest you all back off and leave.” The ones holding her down didn’t seem inclined to follow but Kitty must have done something because Duncan ordered them to grab the downed guy and bring him to the hospital in a high-pitched squeal. “They’re gone already! Let the fuck go of my heart!”Kitty stepped out from behind the blond. “Bitch!” He turned and tried to hit her but he just passed through her … and hit the tree instead. There was the distinct cracking of bones breaking and Duncan howled. Kitty didn’t seem at all sympathetic and she boxed him in the ears, knocking him out. Then she came over to Amanda and held her hand out. Gratefully, the black teenager took her hand and let her rival pull her up.They walked in silence for a while before Amanda cleared her throat. “I didn’t think the Professor allowed you to use your powers like that.”“Yeah, well, the Professor’s not the one who’s walking into a warzone every day on his way to school. As long as I don’t actually maim or kill anyone, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. And if he does find out, it means he invaded my mind without my permission, making him a hypocrite.”She side-eyed the younger girl. “And you’re not worried about Duncan running off and turning his friends against you?”“Duncan’s already gone and poisoned all of Bayville against us. If the choice is between getting raped and killed today versus it happening sometime in the future, then I make the choice that will let me live a little longer. I mean sure, if there were other people who’d get hurt if I didn’t back down right then, I’d reconsider. But if I hadn’t done anything, all that would happen is you’d get hurt instead and I don’t think that’s the better option.”“Thanks, then.” There was a lull in the conversation then it was Kitty’s turn to break the silence. “Hey, um, I don’t know if this would be your jam or not. But if you like, I could give you some self-defense lessons. I mean, I’m no Logan but wouldn’t you feel better if you had some way to defend yourself against jerks like that?”Amanda was skeptical. “Self-defense just for Duncan?” she asked dryly.“Not just Duncan. People like him. Guys in general. The police, maybe.” And abruptly Amanda was reminded of the article one of her classmates had brought in that day for homework. About the young black mother who had just been fatally shot in what should have been a routine speeding stop.“You know,” her voice dropped to just above a whisper. “Self-defense isn’t going to do much good against a bullet.”“Unless you can phase through them or can move them with kinesis, mutant power isn’t much good against a bullet. If Scott or Ms. Monroe get shot, they’d be in just as much trouble as a normal person.” Kitty took a deep breath and braced herself. “As Kurt pointed out, I can pass and walk away from all this any time I want to. No one just looking at me can tell I’m a Jew or a mutant or even an X-Woman. So the least I can do for people like you who don’t have that choice, I can teach you enough to get away or stall them so you can call for help.”Amanda hated to admit it but it was surprisingly refreshing to hear someone like Kitty actually acknowledge her privilege. Most white people seemed to think if they acted color-blind, it was enough. “I accept. First lesson this Saturday morning?”The brunette groaned. “Saturday afternoon, please! I don’t want to get up early on the weekend if I don’t have to.”Kitty was a good teacher if nothing else. She hadn’t even made a fuss when Amanda had shown up in high heels and a miniskirt for the first lesson. “Barefoot today and you’ll probably want your gym clothes next time. But it’s good to practice in your every day wear too.”Amanda had pulled out the ballet flats and sweats she’d packed. She wasn’t an idiot after all. But she did ask, “So, you’d be okay with me fighting like that?”Kitty had answered dryly. “It’s not like a bunch of gangbangers or white terrorists are going to wait for you to change clothes. Work out clothes are good for learning basics and building up your stamina. But you haven’t really learned anything until you can use it out in the real world and not just a dojo.”“Do you think I should buy some mace?”“Every woman should buy mace if possible.” Amanda arched an eyebrow at that. “Or else what? It’s the woman’s fault if she ends up dead in a ditch?”“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, it isn’t her fault. But if we lived in a perfect world, neither of us would have to learn self-defense in the first place. If you’re going to choose not to use a certain defense that’s fine but make sure it’s your decision and not something that other people force on you.”“Does that apply to guns as well?”“Oh, uh … “Kitty and Amanda shared no classes in school. Until Amanda had started dating Kurt, they hadn’t even known the other girl existed. But honestly? It was a relief to talk to someone she could relate with. Both of them were from upper-middle-class families, were only children with no other relatives nearby (in age or location) and both came from marginalized communities (Kitty was Jewish and a mutant while, Amanda was black). They didn’t share many interests (Kitty liked computer science and fashion while Amanda was more interested in history and literature) but it was such a relief to just vent to someone on occasion without having to explain why each little microaggression stung. Sure, the other Insitutue kids got the big picture when someone tried to attack her physically or blatant slurs were muttered in their presence but most of them missed the whole cultural insensitivity or erasure that also occurred. Kitty got it and could empathize with her.The two of them had just finished up a session in the Danger Room and were cooling down, lying on the floor. Kitty had done some of her techno-mojo and there was a beautiful starscape above their heads. “Hey, can I ask you a favor?”Kitty rolled over to look at Amanda. “You can always ask. Can’t always promise that I’ll do or follow what you want.”“It’s about … “ the older girl hesitated for a second. “It’s about Kurt.” Kitty didn’t seem the least bit disturbed and gestured that she should go on. “Do you think you could get him to back off a little?”“What do you mean?”“Kurt. He was less involved with my life when we were dating than he is now. It’s like I can’t do anything without him hovering over my shoulder.”“I wondered why I was seeing less of him lately.”“He didn’t talk about it to you?”“I, um … “Amanda ignored Kitty’s discomfort. “You know, I should have realized from the very beginning, that it was always going to be you.”“What makes you say that?”“No, seriously. Even our first date at the Sadie Hawkins dance, he spent the entire time staring at you until the dinosaurs showed up.”“He did? I didn’t even notice.”“Yeah, you were talking to Lance. To be fair, he did try to hide it but every time his mask slipped, he looked pretty devastated.”“That jerk! We’d agreed a month before then that he should try and get over me.” Kitty frowned, her heart-shaped face and plush lips turning it into a little girl pout. “Going on a date and spending the entire date staring at someone else doesn’t count as getting over anyone.”“Hey, be nice,” admonished the black girl. “He’d only had a month to try to come to terms and the Sadie Hawkins was probably like rubbing salt into the wound. I don’t like the fact I was the rebound but I don’t think he meant to hurt me.”“I don’t think Kurt really means to hurt anyone. It’s just not him. But he can be freakin’ insensitive at times.”“I’m sure we all can be.” A pause while the two of them digested that statement, reflecting on their own peccadilloes. Amanda restarted the conversation. “But no, really, could he stop? Sometimes it’s helpful but the time he spied on my date with Bobby? That was downright creepy.”“Ugh, yeah, I’ll tell him that. I think he’s trying to get you to forgive him but if he was spying on your date that goes a little too far.”“I think I’d like to try again with Bobby, but only without the furry, blue chaperone. Seriously, what was he thinking? Why is he going so far anyway?”Kitty shifted uncomfortably. “That … might be my fault.”“How so?”“Well … I told him I didn’t want to date him until you’d forgiven him.” Amanda sat up to look down at her teacher.“Why’d you do something like that?”“Because what he did was pretty terrible. Because he should do something to make up for what he had done to you. And finally, because it just wouldn’t feel right to start a relationship with him when you were still hurting from the break-up. Wouldn’t feel clean.”“You’re not … you didn’t decide to help me to make up for what Kurt did, did you?”Kitty narrowed crystal blue eyes at her. “Of course not, that would be silly. Kurt’s responsible for his own stupid actions. I helped because a bunch of retarded jocks decided to attack you.” She then reluctantly admitted. “On the other hand, if I hadn’t known you through Kurt I might not have offered to teach you self-defense. I would have escorted you home and that would have been the end of it.”Amanda sat in silence for a few minutes while Kitty watched her. “I forgive him,” she said abruptly.“What?”“I said, I forgive him. I forgive Kurt for what he did to me.”“You do? But why? He hasn’t really done anything to deserve forgiveness.”“It’s not about what he’s done, it’s about the way I feel. And I don’t want to think that our friendship is contingent on me being mad at him. That would suck.”“But-”“You don’t think starting a relationship while I’m still upset is good. Well, I don’t think the X-Men only becoming friends with me because one of their friends screwed up and the rest of them need to make amends for him is any better. I want to think that our relationship is clean, that it’s based on liking each other and shared interests. Not you just putting up a friendly facade to make me feel better.”“I guess. But are you sure about it?”“Yes.” The black girl nodded her head, first hesitantly then did it again with more certainty. “I mean, I’m not going to forget what he’s done anytime soon. But he can stop trying to make up for it or whatever he thinks he’s been doing the past few months. You have my blessing or permission or whatever it is you need to start dating.”“Thank you, Amanda.”