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the edge of his world is the ocean.__________"the war is reaching its end."golden sunlight casts around the tiny kitchen like a net out to sea, a new morning welcomed by a breakfast of homegrown strawberries and porridge and tea. it's a filling meal for taehyung who has spent the night tending to the lighthouse his family has run for generations, as well as a farewell meal for his brother who departs for battle in mere hours. "it's only a matter of days, i just know it," namjoon continues, "this battle is more of a formality for the generals than anything."taehyung hopes this is true. it’s been five years since namjoon had fought his first battle and, though he emerges triumphant at the end of every one, taehyung is sick of worrying for his brother’s life. he had come out with enough scars to leave his skin calloused and mangled, wounds leaving rough, tattoo-like reminders winding around his limbs, up his back, dipping into the front of his shirt; the strongest man taehyung has ever known. but exhaustion has settled permanently into namjoon’s features and his hugs goodbye last longer each time he departs. taehyung wants to bring him home for good, a sentiment he knows is shared by every soul sitting around the table. "those men never know when to quit," his father mumbles. his face is heavy with lines of age and worry. across the table, his mother clenches her fist around the cross hanging around her neck and reaches out to hold namjoon's hand. "just come back safe, joon," she says quietly.namjoons eyes go soft. "promise, mama. i always do."taehyung looks up to add on when his vision is caught outside the kitchen window where he spots movement in the strawberry fields. within a split second, his body thrums through a cycle of emotions: slight fear, hope, disbelief. he lets out a sigh of both relief and frustration and carries on with the conversation at hand, though his mind is now fogged with another layer of anxiety. "i've heard pastor kim will be retiring soon," he says, and that spurs on a more heated conversation between his father and namjoon. taehyung shares a smile with his mother."good fucking riddance, he’s the reason behind all this useless bloodshed," his father spits.an hour later, after namjoon had set off on his ship and his father headed into town to visit the blacksmith, taehyung rushes out to the shed. no one is there, so he heads downhill to their small strawberry garden, angled just right so that the view is hidden from the lighthouse. as expected, jungkook is there sitting crosslegged, pulling up grass in his muddy hands. he stands when taehyung approaches, looking like a child about to be chastised. "where have you been?" taehyung asks.jungkook doesn't reply, just stares guiltily down at his bare feet."you haven't taken any of my gifts for months," taehyung accuses, his furry brows scrunched into a frown.jungkook nervously scratches the back of his neck. avoiding taehyung's eyes, he says carefully, "i haven't really been craving fruits lately.""they taste the same as they always have!" taehyung spits, offended. his hard work in the fields has never failed him. his family's strawberries are known to be the best in the area, and it's been that way for generations. taehyung helpfully reminds his friend of this, but jungkook doesn't reply, only stares at the dirt shamefully as if the ground could offer comfort.taehyung softens a bit. "why are you all covered in blood?" he asks quietly, trying to keep his words steady. as if he doesn't already know."the...the sheep..." jungkook whispers. he sniffles and taehyung realizes he's holding back tears."you've turned?" he asks, careful.jungkook nods. taehyung had assumed, but this confirmation plants a seed of dread and anxiety in the pit of his belly. he sighs deeply and jerks his head in the direction of the house, his anger faded to nothing but pure relief to have his best friend returned to him safely. "come on, let me get you some clean clothes."he sneaks out some clothes and leftover beef stew and watches in amazement as jungkook positively devours it. after he sets the cold pot down he looks at taehyung with big questioning eyes and taehyung understands the severity of his predicament."okay," he sighs. the market isn’t too far of a walk: he uses what money he has to buy a fat slab of meat."taehyung," hoseok, the butcher, laughs, "you were here yesterday, you went through it that quickly?."taehyung smiles charmingly and says, "i have some family in town." they talk for a bit before he heads home. he searches for jungkook and finds him in the middle of the field with a wild hare carcass in his mouth, blood dripping down his chin and caked deep under his nails. only god knows how it had managed to get matted in his hair. he looks at taehyung with his large doe eyes and tae, while he knows he should feel repulsed, is strangely endeared.__________church bells chime as the whole town bustles around their humble place of worship. this building is older than taehyung and the practice more ancient than he can bother to wrap his mind around.instead of wondering, he sits beside jimin and nudges him annoyingly, asks, “will you be gracing the festival with your presence?”jimin shrugs nonchalantly and says, "i don't know, i'm not really the best dancer."taehyung laughs at the blatant lie. "bullshit. i've seen you. you put us all to shame."jimin grins, cheeks red. it's nearly enough to distract from the heavy purple bags under his eyes. but then he says, "i just. don't really feel safe being outside the house anymore."taehyung nods sympathetically, heart clenching, though jimin could never be hurt -- taehyung had been bargaining for his safety for years. "i understand. but maybe what we all need is a break from worrying about all this. a chance to drink and dance without care."the service begins and they listen as the preacher says a prayer for the four dead they've had to bury the past week and for all the soldiers who had dispatched earlier in the day. "we were previously unsure, but recently there have been sightings of something large and monstrous. a devil in disguise as a wolf. whatever it is that plagues us, i pray it will soon move on."after, a group of volunteers gather for a hunt. jimin volunteers to join before taehyung pulls him back."you've never hurt a thing in your life," he whispers heatedly, "what are you gonna do if you face whatever it is that's doing this?""something needs to be done," jimin replies, though his complexion is suddenly waxy and pale, "the devil haunts these grounds. as a child of god, it’s my duty to do what's right, even if it kills me.""jimin," he hisses. fear ebbs through him like the roots of a tree, his veins pumping despair to his heart rather than blood. he knows jungkook would never hurt jimin deliberately but accidents happen and taehyung couldn't bear to lose someone so important to him, especially when he knows he could do something to prevent it."i want to feel safe again, taehyung. i want to not be afraid of leaving my house to feed my sheep. if there are even any left by the end of this.""then let the others go. we need you here. you can help me with the lighthouse.""im sorry," jimin apologizes, and heads off to the group of volunteers before taehyung can stop him. the priest smiles proudly at him and wraps an arm around his shoulder as more men gather around to discuss logistics.fear builds a home in taehyung’s chest.__________"jungkook," taehyung calls. he's standing in the forest with two baskets, one in either hand.a wolf comes trotting out from between the trees, large and shaggy and brown and healthy, its ears perked and tread light. he looks almost like a common house dog, only three times larger and dirtier with his bloody, matted fur.taehyung had been ready to give a lecture, but he can't help but snort."jungkook," he laughs, and the wolf's tail wags as he comes to a stop in front of taehyung. he bows his head and contorts his body slightly, then taehyung is hearing the most terrible and painful noise he could ever imagine. bones shifting and cracking into place, the wet slide of flesh. he has to look away to keep the nausea at bay. when he opens his eyes again jungkook is standing in front of him, tall and human and with a dopey grin painted on his face."what do you think?" he asks excitedly and with pride. he puffs out his chest.taehyung rolls his eyes and shoves one of the baskets into his hands. "you look like something the sea spat up," he says, already walking down the familiar, well-worn path through the woods."is that it?""what do you want me to say? that you look cute? want me to rub your belly? scratch your ears?""shut up," jungkook spits, "i look tough. mighty. ferocious. a predator of the wild."taehyung's humor shifts and he remembers the dead. his neighbors victim to the wolf. what remains of bodies carried out of the woods and into the morgue."when we were little and we talked about you changing, i didn't think people would be part of it. i didn’t think you were like that," he says slowly. jungkook looks up from where he's already digging into his basket (leftovers from taehyung's dinner)."i--" he takes a deep breath. they've stopped walking. "i don't enjoy it," he says shamefully, cheeks flushed. "or maybe i do. a little bit. the wolf enjoys -- enjoys the hunt, the chase. the meal. i'm always hungry, taehyung. i can't satisfy it."taehyung's heart pumps in something akin to fear, but when he looks at jungkook with his big eyes and awkward, muscular frame, all he can see is him as a kid, left behind by his pack for being a runt. another mouth to feed. abandoned and scared and cold and hungry. until taehyung had found him."will it always be this way?"jungkook shakes his head firmly. "it's worse in the beginning."taehyung feels pity. he can only imagine the pain jungkook must be experiencing. he begins walking again, jungkook right on his tail. "okay, but you can't just eat my entire village.""i know that," jungkook interjects, "that being said. um. is anyone off limits?""besides my family?" taehyung asks, almost seriously considering the question, then sighs. "no one, jungkook, go eat some deer like every other 'predator of the wild.'""it's not enough! i've nearly hunted them all out of the area. i need something more."taehyung gapes at him, exasperated."just for now!" jungkook clarifies, hands raised as if he has a gun pointed at him."no! i'll feed you all my leftovers and dump my money into the butcher’s pocket but please keep your paws off my neighbors.""i'll die," jungkook whines, eyes wide. "taehyung.”"no. leave it alone."they keep walking in silence, jungkook a few treads behind taehyung."you know not to hurt jimin," taehyung says quietly.jungkook nods, speeding up to walk next to him. taehyung hopes he doesn't take that as a free invitation to everyone else but he's unsure how to get anything through jungkook's thick skull."people have seen you," taehyung informs as jungkook shoves a handful of bread into his mouth. he doesn't seem concerned. "they're holding seances. putting together a group of hunters to come after you.""when?""next week. the night before the festival."jungkook nods. "i can handle it.""what are you gonna do?" taehyung frowns. "eat them?"taehyung stops in his tracks and gives jungkook a harsh shove when he turns to him, anger heating his ears and neck red."what? i'm hungry, taehyung!" he says, rubbing his chest where taehyung had practically punched him. "that hurt!""they could kill you," taehyung exclaims, "that's their goal! to kill you!""i can take care of myself, their guns have nothing on me," jungkook says, chin raised. taehyung doesn’t know where he got his big ego; maybe being a ‘predator of the wild’ will do that to you. but how would a rabbit defend itself against a wolf? "god, you're infuriating," taehyung huffs, rubbing a hand over his face. "can't you just go into the mountains or something? or stay with my grandma, you know she likes nursing animals."jungkook just snorts, so taehyung continues, "please. just. go away for a little while. for your own safety."something similar to hurt flashes across jungkook's face but taehyung ignores it in favor of continuing on his way, jungkook right on his heels as always."just a week, huh?" jungkook mumbles.__________his lighthouse is a monster on the mountainside, a beacon for those who are lost (yoongi sailing alone at sea, small jimin outcasted by their quaint town, jungkook abandoned in the forest by the ones who were supposed to protect him). always soft at heart, taehyung wants nothing more than to take them all under his wing. keep them warm during the winter. keep them safe.his family's little home is attached right to the decades old lighthouse. his room faces the mountains. on this morning he'd finished his duties in the fields, had helped his father shine their light for the morning fishermen. had trimmed the wicks and fed the seagulls. and now he lays in his tiny bed, watching out the window in the blue light as rolling gray stormclouds sneak and rumble over the mountains, flashes of lightning striking the ground deep in the forestraindrops hit his window and remind him of the melody of a song seokjin had played on the church organ years ago, back when taehyung was still in the choir. jimin had danced in the lightest, prettiest steps across the floorboards as taehyung watched in awe from his place in the pews and thought about the fairies jungkook had once told him about. "they're small and graceful, the prettiest little things you'd ever see, but they have a penchant for mischief."taehyung had never seen a fairy for himself. had never seen any otherworldly creature other than jungkook. but he imagines they're always around. imagines it's their doing when his dinner overcooks and his crops never rise. he mentions this to jimin one day and gets a small smile in response."you have a big imagination, taehyung."he's jolted into awareness by a knock on the window, his eyes shooting open so quick it takes a few seconds for them to focus."taehyung."outside his window, jungkook stands with his nose to the glass, big eyes boring holes into his soul. taehyung rises to his knees and opens the latch, cool air hitting him refreshingly in the face."what are you doing here?" taehyung asks, his throat gravelly with sleep and vision still slightly bleary in a way that makes him question whether he's still dreaming. “you should be in the mountains. safe.”
“whatever,” jungkook waves him off, “i want to fill my belly first. hey, taehyung?”“what? you really should--”"you remember that guy you confessed to a few years ago? who shoved his hand down your pants and then told the whole town that you came onto him?"taehyung flushes, embarrassment washing over him. that incident had nearly gotten him exiled and even to this day the majority of the town actively avoids him due to the rumors that had spread."seokjin?""yeah, him," jungkook says, unfazed, "can i eat him?""what?" taehyung snaps, suddenly very much awake. he brandishes an unbelieving expression as jungkook stares blankly back at him. "no," he says, "no, you can't eat anyone, kook. go dig through my strawberry garden or something."jungkook huffs, obviously put off after going about this the nice way and asking politely for permission. "i don't want to. strawberries are so unsatisfying.""well -- " taehyung starts, but is unsure of where to go with this. he takes a deep breath to calm his mind and thinks about how nice jungkook has been thus far to only go after people who are strangers to taehyung. taehyung knows that no matter what he says, unless he somehow provides food for jungkook, he's just going to continue eating his village and taehyung really doesn't want the responsibility for the genocide of his neighbors."namjoon and yoongi should be back in a few days," he says, "we'll go fishing then and i'll give you whatever i catch."jungkook's face instantly lights up, eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "really?" he asks through a smile. "even the catfish?"taehyung scrunches his nose, trying hard not to mimic jungkook's smile. "especially the catfish."__________namjoon brings in his militia days earlier than expected, victorious in their battle. the whole town celebrates.jimin can't stop talking about yoongi, who's fresh out of battle and covered in new bruises and scars that jimin claims to taehyung are 'bringing out his maternal side.'"he looks like he needs someone to take care of him," jimin says dreamily as taehyung butters some bread for the lunch they'll be having later on the boat"he looks like he needs a bath," taehyung clarifies."i could give him a bath," jimin says, then wiggles his eyebrows. "a tongue bath.""jesus christ," taehyung rolls his eyes but can't help the laugh that escapes his throat. "you need to get this out of your system because yoongi should be here --"the door opens with a bang. "good morning," a very sleepy looking yoongi says."now," taehyung finishes before wrapping his arms around the man who's practically his brother. yoongi swats him away. "good morning, yoongi. we're just waiting for namjoon to get ready.""he probably lost his boots again," yoongi says, taking a seat across from a blushing jimin and wishing him a good morning.as if on cue, namjoon steps out of his room with one shoe on and his hair disheveled. "guys, have you seen my -- oh, good morning, yoongi.""leave it, i have extra boots in the boat," yoongi says, always prepared as the seasoned fisherman he is.the day is fruitful. between the four of them they catch buckets of fish, yoongi for his market, namjoon and jimin for dinner, and taehyung for jungkook, though the others dont know that. taehyung tells them he plans to sell his catch for some extra money.late in the night, while he should be on lighthouse duty, taehyung is waiting by the shed where he knows jungkook will have smelled the fish. sure enough he meets him there, hungry as ever and anxious to get past taehyung and into his midnight snack."it smells like a lot," jungkook says, excitement evident in his voice. if he had a tail, it would be wagging.taehyung can't help but swell up with pride. "well, you're looking at a pro," he says, then leads jungkook inside where he devours a day’s worth of taehyung's hard work within minutes.taehyung looks past the mess and is happy to see his friend so satisfied. "the hunters are going out in a few days," he says quietly.it takes a moment for jungkook to respond. "i've always wondered what was past the mountains," he says, eyes downcast as he picks excess meat from the bone."so you're gonna leave?""just for a little while," jungkook says almost as a reassurance, meeting taehyung's eyes, "i'm sure there's plenty of food outside of my turf. i won't go hungry."taehyung nods, but can't shake the feeling of dread flooding his chest. "jungkook," he mumbles, swallowing the lump in his throat, "i was really worried when you were gone. before, when you turned."jungkook bites his lip. "i'm sorry, it was -- it was difficult in the beginning. i couldn't really control myself and... and all i could think about was feeding, i -- taehyung?"he stops, shocked to see tears glisten in taehyung’s eyes. taehyung hurries to wipe them away. "i understand, i do," he insists, "i just don’t really like being away from you. not knowing if you’re safe and warm and fed."he sniffles loudly, not noticing the cherry red hue on jungkook’s cheeks and the way he scoots closer until he’s pulling taehyung into a gentle embrace. "i'm sorry, tae," he whispers. taehyung shakes his head. "it's fine," he says, pulling away to furiously wipe his still wet cheeks, "you're here now. and so is joon, and my dad. everyone's here."jungkook watches him closely for a moment until taehyung stands. "i should get back to the lighthouse," he says, eager to escape this vulnerable situation, "you can come with, if you want."jungkook does, of course. he watches over the light and the ships and the ocean with taehyung until he departs into the forest early the next morning with an entire loaf of freshly baked bread between his teeth. __________the next few days are slow and draining, dragging on further than the ocean can expand. the hunters prepare for what they think is the end of the wolf, jimin fears for his safety, and taehyung fears for jimin as well as for jungkook. torn in two different directions, he’s stretched thin and weary."i really can't talk you out of this, can i?" taehyung asks sullenly as he holds jimin in a tight embrace. jimin shakes his head against his shoulder."i need to go," jimin says, "it's important that i do this."taehyung sighs, rubbing the back of jimin's neck before pulling away. "if i didn't need to tend to the lighthouse, i would go with you."jimin smiles. "i know," he says, "we have business in different places but i know we'll both be fine."the hunters set out, and though taehyung knows that jungkook is days ahead of them in the deep mountains, he doesn't get any sleep that night.he's overcome with relief when jimin returns to him in the morning, immediately pulling him into a hug and offering his bed for a well deserved sleep."i've never been more tired in my life," jimin whines, stretching out across taehyung's mattress like a cat in the sun."i bet," taehyung laughs, absolutely elated to have his friend safe and near, "so no wolf?"jimin buries his face in the pillow. "it was a quiet night for the most part but every movement in the trees was terrifying," he explains, "and seokjin -- i've never seen him more heated in my life. he shot two different wolves but none of them were the size of what people have been seeing."noticing taehyung's heavy silence, "the reports have all claimed something around the size of a horse, you know. too big to be natural. something that can only be from the underworld or the result of witchcraft."taehyung swallows the lump in his throat. "maybe it's just a bear," he says, mouth thick, "maybe we're all blowing this out of proportion."jimin eyes him carefully. "i don't think so, taehyung," he says, "even the air is different. and yoongi -- i shouldn't be saying this, i promised not to tell you, but yoongi has seen it. about a week ago, when he was returning from a fishing trip, he saw it behind the lighthouse. he said it had eyes that glowed like the moon and was easily larger than any of the town's most prized bulls."a chill goes down taehyung's body but not for the reason jimin thinks. the weight of this secret grows heavier with each day that passes, taehyung's closest relationship hidden from even his family and friends. jungkook's existence has always been a struggle to hide when they were younger and taehyung snuck him into his bed for warmth in the winter, but it's even worse now that the wolf is involved. he feels like his feet are in two separate worlds. there's too much blood on his hands. that evening, namjoon gives a speech at the festival recalling the success of his latest battle and the sheer glee he feels toward the future. he’s met with great applause and taehyung pulls him into a quick hug before his brother disappears into the crowd to be congratulated and thanked. although happy and wine-drunk, taehyung is at a bit of a loss as to what to do. he'd lost jimin an hour previous to yoongi, the two chattering happily away in the corner of the plaza, and his parents are buzzing pridefully around namjoon as he’s passed from group to group. "do i know you?"taehyung turns toward the voice, immediately recognizing the face behind the mask."jungkook," he smiles widely, ecstatic and relieved. "where did you get those nice things?" he laughs, eyeing the fine clothes jungkook is adorned in, so different from his typical attire. jungkook drags him away by the wrist."wouldn't you like to know," he teases, and that's when taehyung notices the slight amount of blood on the white collar of the shirt. chills run down his spine but he pushes away those thoughts in favor of enjoying his best friend's presence.they wind up at the beach, deserted as the entire town is celebrating in the plaza in the heart of town.drunk and airheaded and gleeful, they play around in the ocean, jungkook doggy paddling and taehyung racing against him at a much slower pace. taehyung is moments away from feigning a shark sighting in an attempt to halt jungkook’s progress when suddenly a bullet whistles through the air, just millimeters away from grazing jungkook's throat. in a split second, jungkook is out of the water and lunging toward the man neither had noticed stood onshore with a gun cocked in his hands. shocked, blood run cold, taehyung rushes to follow jungkook out of the water, the waves pushing against him until he finally collapses onto the sand yards away from where jungkook is tearing into the man's throat with sharp teeth. he recognizes him from church; a local farmer named jaebum.it’s now as he’s frozen in place that a hand wraps around taehyung's neck and he's thrown into the wet sand, his head slamming back so quick he goes dizzy. on top of him sits seokjin, his eyes bloodshot and furious. taehyung doesn't know how he didn't notice him earlier, or why the man is looking at him as though he wants to kill him. "should have known you had something to do with this, fag," seokjin hisses, clenching his hand tight around taehyung's windpipe. he gasps for air and his vision begins to tunnel, his body prickling with numbness as he struggles to throw seokjin's weight off his body.the sky is pitch black above him, deep and blurry around the edges; he can't tell if he's blacked out. suddenly, the pressure around his neck is gone and he sucks in air as though he's never breathed before. he tilts his cheek into the sand just in time to see the wolf's teeth digging into seokjin's shoulder, pulling until his arm wrenches out of its socket with a disgusting crack. blood splatters hotly across taehyung's face.nauseous, taehyung vomits into the ocean as the man screams holy murder, his voice a nasty screech until it's silenced with a gurgled noise taehyung knows he'll never forget. seconds later, jungkook is beside him, back in his human form, licking up the blood and tears trailing down taehyung's face as he whispers reassurances and apologies."i'm so sorry," he says, "so sorry, so sorry --""jungkook," taehyung sobs, wrapping his arms around his neck, so overwhelmed and terrified he can't breathe, can't think, can't do anything other than cry into jungkook's shoulder. he doesn't notice when jungkook picks him up, doesn't notice the apologies he continuously mumbles as he walks, just cries until he passes out of exhaustion. the moment he awakens, he knows he's in jungkook's house. something of magic. he'd always told taehyung that his pack had stolen it from a witch who'd inhabited the area years before, but taehyung never believed him. still, there was no other plausible explanation for the passage in the rocks that opens into a homey expanse as large as taehyung's kitchen. jungkook gets taehyung warm and fed and, as he's eating strawberries, taehyung says quietly, overcome with emotion after such a staggering night, "i wanna be with you all the time.""me too," jungkook says, his voice sad and sincere in a way that grips taehyung in the chest, "i always miss you. it hurts to think about you."taehyung's eyes tear up again. "we can leave together," he insists, and jungkook doesn't answer for a long while."you wouldn't be happy in the forest, taehyung," he finally says."then we could live in a village. there's one just a few miles north of my grandma’s. it's nice, i've been there once as a child.""i'm not --" he trails off, "i'm not... i don't know the first thing about living as a human," he looks at taehyung sadly, eyes wet."but you are a human.""you should get some sleep, taehyung."it’s obvious that the conversation is over, but as taehyung lays quietly on the warm pelts jungkook has collected for the winter, jungkook crawls into his arms and rests his head on his chest, presses a soft kiss into the hollow of taehyung's throat and closes his eyes to the lulling drum of the pulse thump thump thumping beneath his ribcage.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"no one has heard anything about them since they returned from the hunt."taehyung, yoongi, and namjoon are sitting around the dinner table, glasses of alcohol in hand. his parents had gone to bed hours earlier and taehyung is overlooking the lighthouse while yoongi and joon prepare to go late night fishing. panic has erupted in response to the missing boys. taehyung reminisces grimly on the previous victims; they’d always been older, sicker, less rich, more disliked by the village, so while their deaths were shocking and traumatic, the overall politics of the village remained the same and the higher ranks felt relatively safe in comparison to the lower status folks. seokjin and jaebum’s deaths had changed that. sons of the most affluent farmers in the village had gone missing, presumably mauled by the wolf. no bodily remains, no clues. is this a progression into something darker? even namjoon buys into the mania, leaving taehyung to feel more isolated than he ever has in his life."it's different this time," namjoon says grimly, his face pale and expression hopeless, "there have always been some sort of remains before. bones, clothes. something. what's different? what changed?""we don’t know for sure that they're dead, joon," yoongi says, though he doesn’t look like he fully believes the words coming out of his own mouth."so what do you think happened? that they skipped out for a vacation with their hands held? we both knew them, yoongi, seokjin and jaebum would never leave their home without saying goodbye." taehyung presses his lips together, his fingers clenching around the glass in his hands as his entire body sears in a desperate desire to escape. "i should get back up there," he says as he stands. "don’t go out too far."yoongi huffs and leans back in his seat, legs spread open carelessly as he tips his drink back. "oh, taehyung, you know that's where all the good stuff is." taehyung rolls his eyes. "dont forget i'm your way back to shore." he leaves to the sound of namjoons boisterous laugh. "do you remember when we turned off the lamp and left you out there?" "fuck you, i was out there for hours," yoongi hisses.taehyung climbs the spiraling stairs of the lighthouse and settles down on the walkway, legs dangling between the bars as he looks out at the ocean.the world has seemed skewed as of late. his father is growing older and weaker, spending most of his time in bed as his mother tends to him, leaving taehyung full charge of the lighthouse. jimin has come around less and less as he grows closer to the priest, an attempt to 'get into his ear.'"he trusts me," jimin had told taehyung days earlier, "i'm hoping to sway him to end the war. even a little persuasion could help. anything -- we need to do everything we can. people are dying left and right and he doesn’t even seem to care."and jungkook, with his heavy stares and fearful eyes. taehyung spends every second of his day thinking about him, of the weight of his head on taehyung’s chest, the gentle pressure of his lips on taehyung’s neck. his round eyes and stubbornness. and seokjin. his mangled, lifeless body seeping blood into the sand of taehyung’s beaches. the heavy weight of him as taehyung dragged his and jaebum’s corpses into his father's shed."taehyung, we’re heading out!""good luck!" he calls, waving to yoongi and namjoon as they ready their boat for the trip. taehyung watches fondly as they bicker like brothers. at this point in their lives, they might as well be. once they’re gone and taehyung has secured everything at the lighthouse, he resolves himself to go to the shed. it’s only a matter of time before the smell of rot permeates his land and leads on goers to the corpses of the missing boys, hidden conveniently where only taehyung and his family have access. he refuses to consider the possibilities that follow. death would be merciful compared to what he knows the priest has planned for the wolf and anyone in association with it.with a shovel and a knapsack full of bones, some of which belonging to a boy he once thought he loved, he heads deep into the forest, determination fueling his steps through dirt and leaves and muck. it’s as he’s shoveling dirt into the hole that he feels eyes boring into the back of his skull, but he doesn’t startle. no one comes out this deep into the forest this late at night. only jungkook.“what are you doing?” jungkook asks. taehyung continues shoveling. there’s only about two feet of dirt left to go. “if the bodies are found and people learn i have anything to do with this, i’ll be killed,” he explains, the words seeming all the more real as they’re falling from his mouth. but with jungkook looking at him with his head cocked and hair tousled, he doesn’t feel afraid. the reason he’s risking his own safety -- his own life -- is standing right in front of him and taehyung feels nothing less than smitten. “because they think i’m the devil?”pausing, taehyung shoves the blade of the shovel into the ground, leaving it standing upright as he leans against it. “they don’t know you,” he says adamantly.jungkook looks at him curiously for a moment before stretching and morphing into his wolf form. queasy, taehyung turns away, only opening his eyes when he feels jungkook brush past him. he begins digging in the pile of dirt taehyung had dug up, filling the hole much faster than taehyung’s shovel had been. within minutes the ground is as flat and undisturbed as ever. jungkook follows him back all the way to the beach, where they sit side by side at the base of the lighthouse. the sand clings in an itchy, familiar way to taehyung’s skin and the taste of salt is heavy on his tongue. his heart pounds at what he’s just done; he’s crossed a line he’ll never come back from, and the moment feels heavy and tangible and possible in his hands. he can feel a new future stretching out in front of him. "yoongi and namjoon were talking earlier about --" he stops himself short, suddenly embarrassed but determined to keep going, "about purpose and survival and all that stupid stuff."jungkook is digging a hole with his hands, throwing the sand to the side and across taehyung's sprawled legs. "what do you mean?" he questions, seemingly only half-listening. taehyung stares out at the ocean as he ponders how to condense namjoon's pretty words. he feels kind of silly attempting to regurgitate his brother’s eloquence, like a crowtit trying to walk like a stork. "you know how some people are obviously meant to accomplish huge important things? they invent something or lead a group of people into something amazing or sacrifice their lives for the greater good."jungkook cocks his head and watches him closely with a little crease between his brows, obviously wondering where he's going with this."and then there's us living in this shit poor village. we work to survive and disease runs rampant. our crops might die and lead us to starvation and there’s nothing we could do to stop it. we're always the first ones drafted into war and always the first to die," taehyung says, eyes glazed. he swallows the lump in his throat."our lives are so small," he mutters, "when joon was little and still prayed everyday, our parents and his teachers and the preacher -- all the adults -- always said he would grow up to lead our town's men into battle and come out victorious. go down in history. he has the leadership and skill and love of god to do incredible things. our lord will guide him in his fated direction.""does he not believe it to be true?""he would rather feel that his future is in his own hands," taehyung says, remembering the way namjoon's eyes had gleamed and his hands had trembled as he explained to he and yoongi that life is built on choices, but only if you make the choice for it to be, "he said that god would rather us shape our lives ourselves than resign ourselves to what's meant to be."jungkook has stopped digging and instead buries his fingers in the sand. "what do you want your life to be, taehyung?" he asks after a moment, voice quiet and far away as though he fears the answer.taehyung slants him a smile, his cheeks rosy and full and bright. "i'm content where i am, but," he pauses to hum, "i don't want anything big and important. i just want to build something that's fitted to me. tend to the garden in the morning and fall into a soft bed at night."the corners of jungkook's lips curve upwards as he says, "that's funny. i was expecting your big ego to take you further than that.""my ego doesn't even compare to your nose," taehyung retorts instinctively, so used to bickering with jungkook after all these years. he laughs when jungkook shoves him into the sand with a strong push.the water rises to their toes and the moon shines like a spotlight above them. it's so late at night that even the moths are considering tucking in and calling it a day."are you alone in this fantasy of yours?" jungkook asks, running a hand through his wind tangled hair. taehyung goes soft as he notices jungkook’s thinly concealed nerves. he shakes his head, then says carefully, "i have dinner with my parents every evening. i fish with joon and yoongi. jimin is a constant. i hide all the carcasses you bring back to the house and clean the blood from your teeth."jungkook looks at him quietly, eyes soft and round. taehyung thinks he was created in the moon's image. soft and illuminating. elusive. even with jungkook in front of him offering up everything he has, even with taehyung reaching, he still feels fingertips away."wolves run in packs," jungkook explains, "they're not meant to be alone. mate for life and raise babies and help those babies raise their own babies. protect each other.""you always have a place with me," taehyung says, tongue heavy in his mouth and heart running rampant in his chest. he intertwines his fingers with jungkooks, warm and reassuring. a promise. "i can't imagine my future without you."they meet eyes, jungkook's glinting silver like a blade in the sun before peering deep and brown into taehyung's own. something cracks inside him, like a glass falling from a shelf and shattering to the floor. jungkook's breath is soft on his cheek before taehyung tips his chin up in hesitant question and then -- and then they're kissing and it's everything taehyung has heard about in the fairytales. chaste and sweet and the world's energy skews in a way that tells taehyung nothing will be the same after this.in just a moment, taehyung had taken his hands and moulded a new future for himself. had raked the road clean of leaves and trimmed the brush and he's making sure jungkook comes with him."they're still hunting for you," he says, "but i'm gonna make sure they don't find you."__________jungkook's appetite slowly subsides over the months, needing less and less with every day that passes. still, a meal to taehyung doesn't compare to a meal to jungkook, and so people throughout the village continue to disappear at a consistent rate, mauled in the forest, the shorelines, the fields, only for their remains to be carried to the morgue by their mourning friends and family.it hurts taehyung to see, hurts him to stand by and watch as this happens to innocent people, but his recent time with jungkook has revealed to him where his loyalty lies, what he’s willing to do for someone he cares deeply about.eventually, as the weather grows colder, jungkook's appetite subsides almost entirely except for the nights of the full moon. the village begins to see the pattern and though they're relieved, they also live in fear on the nights when the moon hangs in a full circle above their heads.with his parents visiting his grandmother in the next village over, taehyung tends to the lighthouse singlehandedly. it’s exhausting. though he loves his job of shining the protective light over the oceans, it leaves him thoroughly occupied and grants him almost no time to socialize.it’s on a night of the full moon that namjoon returns home with a grim expression. taehyung knows something bad has happened the moment his brother steps into the lantern room. “jimin’s uncle…” namjoon starts, “he’s dead.”taehyung’s breath escapes his chest. “he was found at the edge of the forest. another victim of the beast.”immediately, taehyung finds himself overwhelmed with emotion. anger towards jungkook, confusion, hurt for his best friend -- his best friend -- jimin --“where’s jimin?” he manages to get out. “he’s fine,” namjoon is quick to assure, “right now he’s with the father kim. he’ll be okay, tae, i promise.” later that night after namjoon and yoongi have gone late night fishing, taehyung walks the beach, the same short parameter around his lighthouse, forward and back, over and over again, wondering in his mind how to make jungkook pay for this. jimin’s safety had been guaranteed for years, as was everyone close to jimin. taehyung had given jungkook whatever he’d asked for -- the best of his strawberries, his dinner, his neighbor’s chickens. jungkook had promised. taehyung had believed the word of the beast. what had he been thinking? it’s as he’s pondering the authenticity of his friendship with jungkook when he sees a figure making its way toward the lighthouse. at first he thinks it’s jungkook, and anger flares up in his chest, but the person is small and limping and the silhouette incredibly familiar.it's jimin.taehyung runs to him and jimin immediately falls into his arms, body crumpled and weak. taehyung is more panicked than he's ever been in his life. "jimin, jimin," he mutters, struggling to hold his shaking form upright, "what happened? what's wrong?"“father kim,” he sobs.taehyung cradles his head and looks into his face. both eyes black and bruised. his lip cut. hair sweaty and matted to his forehead. taehyung feel his eyes fill up with tears. "what do you mean? is he dead?" he whispers.jimin shakes his head and drops it to taehyung's chest. "he -- he --" he rasps, so quiet taehyung can barely hear. half-dressed, clothes ripped, face bruised, blood drying in streaks down his thighs and curling between his toes. suddenly everything adds up to taehyung, the lingering touches and glances from the priest, the special treatment he’s always given jimin.with his body trembling in anger, taehyung helps jimin into the lighthouse, into his small room. sets him on his bed and refuses to leave his side, though he wonders in his racing mind if he should get him a change of clothes, some hot tea, a bath?"you'll be okay," he whispers, stroking jimin’s hair as his friend sniffles against his chest. "you're gonna be okay. i’m gonna fix this."__________taehyung doesn’t have to wait long. the next night, with jimin in medical care and namjoon drinking with yoongi, jungkook comes by.the first time he knocks on the door, taehyung ignores him, preferring to leave him out in the cold rain. he’s undecided on how to handle this. should he turn jungkook in? ask him to leave the village? would jungkook hurt him now that he doesn’t have to pretend to be his friend?jungkook continues to knock, unperturbed. “taehyung, let me in! i’m all wet, i want some bread.” mustering up all of his courage, taehyung yanks open the door. it’s now or never. “you promised,” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t betray his fear. “promised what?” jungkook asks, “can i come in?”taehyung grabs him by the wrist and pulls him into the house, slamming the door shut behind him. “jimin’s uncle,” he explains, unable to contain his anger now that he’s facing the problem head on, “he was all jimin had. you promised --”“what are you talking about? do i think i did something to his un--”“he was found dead, jungkook,” taehyung hisses, hurt welling deep in his chest. behind the blur of his tears, he sees jungkook furrow his brow. “victim of the beast, mauled by the wolf, the devil, whatever the fuck you are --”“i didn’t hurt him!” jungkook insists, and taehyung pauses. he hadn’t predicted this and he’s unsure of how to continue. he had expected jungkook to confess, to say, ‘yes, i killed him. so what? i was hungry.’ but instead he’s looking at taehyung sincerely, with wide, fearful eyes, teeth biting into his bottom lip."i swear on my life," jungkook says, his voice urgent with honesty. "i didn't, taehyung. i wouldn't hurt anyone if you didn’t want me to."taehyung takes a deep breath, his lungs expanding almost painfully against his ribs. he turns away from jungkook and heads toward the kitchen where he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the shelf. “taehyung, i promise, i didn’t --”“i believe you,” taehyung says after taking a straight shot from the bottle. he slumps down into the kitchen chair. “but if you didn’t do it, who did? it was an obvious attack, his body was --” he cuts himself off, frustrated. “there aren’t any other wolves in the area,” jungkook says, hesitantly taking a seat beside taehyung. “you humans are always having petty disputes, maybe it was something personal. maybe he kissed someone’s wife or stole someone’s cattle.”taehyung can’t help but crack a smile at jungkook’s attempt at being helpful. “he would never, he was very loved by the town. the only person who had anything against him was the priest, he --”something clicks. taehyung’s heart races in his chest. “jimin’s uncle was actively against the war, he was rallying people to stop it and -- and jimin -- the priest has always liked jimin --”“taehyung--”“i’m sorry,” taehyung breathes, then babbles, “for doubting you. i know you would never. i trust you. you’re the most honest person i know.”“it’s okay,” jungkook replies, and he seems to mean it. he glances at the bottle in taehyung’s hand. “can i have some of that, though?”taehyung laughs. “have at it,” he hands over the whiskey, watching as jungkook sniffs at the bottle before taking a big gulp, face scrunched in a grimace. “i can help you take care of the priest, you know,” he says, smacking his lips. “you can?”“yeah,” jungkook says, taking a much smaller sip of whiskey, “i’ve always liked jimin. sometimes he throws out rolls and sourdough, and every once in a while he leaves out an offering of milk and blackberries. he thinks they’re for the fairies but i always eat them instead. don’t tell.”a few hours later, after a warm bath and half a bottle of whiskey, taehyung is feeling much calmer. the sun is finally rising, meaning taehyung gets to put out the light and rest his head for the day. jungkook stays with him and lets taehyung scrub him down in the bath and dress him in clean clothes. sleepy and heavy-lidded, taehyung pulls him into his room and sits on the edge of his bed. with a candle lit and the morning sun streaming in through the window, everything is golden.this is the room taehyung used to sneak jungkook into during harsh winters, where they would lay close and huddle for warmth. it’s the same thing now, basically, except they’re full grown and harnessing something a bit too similar to love. they meet eyes and taehyung smiles softly, pulls jungkook over to stand in front of him. he presses both palms flat against jungkook’s firm abdomen and his heart leaps both at the way the muscles tighten and how jungkook swallows in obvious nervousness and restraint."you're allowed to show that you want me," he whispers.jungkook shakes his head. "i don't want to hurt you," he says, "i -- i don't -- "taehyung pulls him down into a kiss. their lips brush gently, a soft and chaste slide, before jungkook presses harder, pulling taehyung’s bottom lip between his teeth. leaning back, taehyung pulls him to lay down, admiring the silver glint in jungkook's eyes, a slice of moonlight right there in the features of a boy. his boy."taehyung," jungkook whispers against his mouth, his body trembling. he's so real and palpable beneath taehyung's palms that he wants to cry, overwhelmed with tenderness. "it feels like my heart is trying to claw its way out of my chest to be closer to you," he laughs, shy. jungkook's fingers dig into his sides and he mouths at taehyung's neck, kissing and sucking and biting, his labored breath under jungkook's tongue so terribly human and delicate and easily stolen. taehyung can tell jungkook is equally wound up when he presses his palm against jungkook’s trousers, the size of him sending chills down taehyung’s spine. he gasps, wondering how the bare length would feel in his hand, how heavy it would feel on his tongue, how good it would fill him up. he slides his hands over jungkook’s belly before reaching into his trousers and wrapping a hand around his hard cock, hot and thick drooling at the tip. jungkook breathes his name in a way taehyung wants to hear again and again and pulls him into a kiss, rutting down into taehyung’s grip as he pants into his mouth. “taehyung,” he gasps, “taehyung, taehyung, taehyung--”he buries his face into taehyung’s shoulder, releasing with a breathless whimper. his cock pulses in taehyung’s hand and taehyung is amazed by the sheer amount of come that covers his belly and chest, delighted at the thought of being marked by jungkook. owned, loved. desired.taehyung admires him, absolutely smitten, as jungkook licks up the mess on his chest and slides down to undo taehyung’s trousers. “every inch of you is pretty, huh,” he mumbles, almost to himself, before pressing a kiss to the tip of taehyung’s cock. taehyung’s breath hitches as jungkook wraps his hands around taehyung’s slim hips and pins them down against the bed, rendering him motionless and at jungkook’s mercy as he takes him into his mouth. “you’re one to talk,” he says breathlessly, gripping jungkook by the hair as he takes him deeper and deeper, bringing him closer to the edge. taehyung thinks he’s never looked prettier than he does now between his legs, mouth pretty and wet and desperate on taehyung’s cock. as pent up and frustrated as he’s been, it doesn’t take much to bring him to his release. it comes sudden and without warning, the pleasure seizing his entire body as he comes down jungkook’s throat with a choked moan. he’s still trembling when jungkook crawls up his body and kisses him deeply, his mouth tasting of both himself and taehyung and taehyung thinks he can’t possibly be any more in love until he wakes up later that day to jungkook sleeping while chewing softly on the corner of taehyung’s blanket.__________the skies are gray the day namjoon departs for battle. again, again. it keeps happening. the war continues to be drawn out and taehyung knows this won’t be the last time he spends his nights watching out at the seas hoping to see his brother’s ship returning to harbor. it’s his favorite part of being a lighthouse keeper; being the first to know when namjoon returns, being the first to see him. he’s tending to his gardens when he gets the news. hoseok approaches hesitantly, demeanor unusually reticent. when he first says the words, taehyung doesn’t think he hears them correctly. “i’m sorry,” he says, lips numb, “what?”“your father is dead.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
the funeral is hardly anything grand. in the light of the setting sun, namjoon and taehyung carry their father’s casket across dying grass and place it gently in the hole they’d dug together in silent solidarity. despair is thick, nearly tangible, in the air, in taehyung’s lungs as he tries not to look at his weeping mother. the cemetery is rapidly losing space. between soldiers lost in battle, killings of the wolf, sickness, and more recently, famine, this small village has lost nearly half of its population. grief is everywhere. even the weather seems to be feeling it, with its gloomy gray skies and rough storms that threaten to take ships under. taehyung has never felt it this closely before. he’s never lost someone so dear to him, and the pure heartache he’s experiencing seems to have flipped a switch in his brain. "a lot of people are leaving town. but a lot more are too poor to leave," joon says over a bottle of whiskey. he’s been drinking a lot more these days. yoongi tells taehyung, his face flushed from alcohol but eyes serious and determined, "i want to take jimin away. make sure he's safe."a small flicker of hope in all this gray. the moon hangs full in the sky, round and orange and engaging taehyung with a strange sense of determination. he buys a thick slab of meat from hoseok before he closes shop and stores it away for jungkook, then visits jimin as he says goodnight to his sheep and sews quilts, a talent he’d picked up from his late mother. "it's been difficult to face anyone," jimin says to him. his body is thin and bruised and his complexion is pale, but the smiles he gives taehyung are always sincere. "i'm not sure what they think of me now."“no one thinks any differently of you,” taehyung reassures him, “you’re loved, jimin, how could any of us have any feelings of blame towards you?”jimin doesn’t reply, but he looks intently at taehyung, “how are you handling things?”referring to his father, of course. taehyung pushes past the pang of hurt in his chest. “as well as i can,” he says. he hardly recognizes his voice as his own. “how did you manage?”it’s something he’s wanted to ask jimin for years. how did you manage? how did you manage losing both parents when you were so young? and even then take it upon yourself to smile at strangers and care for the animals with no homes? and now, with your uncle gone? with everything the priest has done to you? jimin is one of the strongest -- if not the strongest -- people he’s ever met. “it isn’t something you ever completely get over,” he says, speaking carefully, “grief has a way of sticking with you, but -- but just remember that we’re all here for you, taehyung. we want to help you in any way we can. i would cross oceans for you, you know that.”taehyung carries these words with him as he leaves. ‘i would cross oceans for you.’ he repeats this to himself before he knocks on the door of the priest's quarters. "father," he says, his voice urgent in the night, "father, please. the wolf, i -- i saw it along the edge of the forest."the priest curses and rushes to retrieve his gun. "we'll need to alert the hunters immediately.""no," taehyung pleads, "you're the only one who can take down the devil, father. your hands are blessed in a way us commonfolk can't compare to."he can see the way this inflates the ego of the priest and even though he can also see fear in his eyes, he knows he has him where he wants him. with a gun of his own held securely in his grip, taehyung leads the priest into the woods.“it was right past the great oak,” taehyung says quietly.the man beside him trembles in fear, yet his grip on his weapon remains tight. “about time this beast is taken care of,” he says, “and i’m going to be the one to do it.”a deep growl sounds through the trees and they halt in their tracks, frozen where they stand."the wolf," taehyung whispers, eyes wide."no," the priest cocks his gun, "the devil." he raises his weapon and aims blindly into the darkness. right then, the wolf emerges from the shadows, its head lowered and teeth bared, its steps slow and measured as it examines its prey. the priest takes a shot but misses as the wolf lunges and knocks him to the ground, causing him to lose his grip on his gun. it bares its teeth against the man’s neck."jungkook, wait," taehyung says, stepping closer as the priest whips his head in shock."boy, what are you doing --""tell me," taehyung says, kneeling by the priest's head, "what did you do to jimin's uncle?""what are you talking about? he was killed by the beast," the priest hisses, his voice trembling with fear and anger alike."no," taehyung says, "we both know that isn't the truth."he stands, raises his gun, and aims it directly at the priest's head, finger on the trigger."wait! wait, i -- i had to do it, he was campaigning to end the war, it was the only way for me to --"taehyung slams the barrel of the gun into the priest's nose and swallows the bile rising in his throat. “and jimin?” he asks slowly. it takes him a moment, but eventually the priest grits through the pain, eyes boring directly into taehyung’s own, “what about him? he was deserving of everything he got.”jaw clenched, taehyung pulls out the hunting knife that used to belong to his father. he grips tightly around the handle, enjoying the weight of it in his hand. the priest clenches his eyes shut and mumbles prayers into the emptiness of the night.“none of that,” taehyung says offhandedly, then promptly forces the man’s mouth open and grips his tongue between his fingers, the muscle slimy and wiggly in his hold. he hadn’t planned this part, but his anger is fueling his every movement, his every thought, and so he doesn’t hesitate to dig the blade of his knife into the priest’s tongue until it’s loose and disgusting in the palm of his hand. “a man like you doesn’t deserve to pray to god,” he says, his voice shaking. after shoving the tongue into his pocket, he turns away and lets jungkook deal the finishing blows, the muffled pleads and curses of the priest causing him to tremble in anger, nausea, and disgust.when the job is done, jungkook shifts back into a human, mouth and throat and hands bloody. taehyung immediately pulls him into a heated kiss, his fingers tangling in his hair. the metallic blood on his tongue is sickening but it acts as fuel for the adrenaline racing through his system as he pulls jungkook to the ground and up against his body."thank you," he whispers against his lips, and jungkook curses into his mouth, hand pulling taehyung's leg around his own hip so he can rut down against him."you gonna react this way every time i kill someone?" jungkook asks, dragging his lips down taehyung's neck and sucking bruises into his skin. taehyung tilts his head back with a gasp, his body surging with an unfamiliar pleasure and urgency. his hands are everywhere -- jungkook's shoulders, his neck, waist, thighs, he can't seem to get close enough.“maybe now the war will end,” taehyung says, eyes glassy as he gazes upon the mutilated corpse just feet away. he can’t see through the blur of his tears, and jungkook hurries to lick up their trail when they fall down his cheeks, the taste of salt heavy on his tongue when he kisses taehyung. __________when taehyung was younger, his family had kept chickens. eggs for breakfast, feathers to stuff pillows with, and meat for sustenance. it had been one of taehyung’s favorite things to eat and he loved watching the roosters chase each other around their pen. a few days after he turned 6, his father brought him out to the pen and had him choose his favorite hen. he did. her name was gladys and she was the fattest of the bunch, though she hadn’t produced any eggs in a little over a year. his father had held gladys down as she squawked and told taehyung to chop off her head. he refused at first. had cried and tried running to his mother. but his father put his large hand over both of taehyung’s own much smaller ones and slammed down the knife with all the strength of a grown man. they’d had chicken soup for dinner that night, hot bellies in a cold winter. taehyung still thinks about gladys, about how her life had ended within a split second, taken by taehyung’s hand. for years after, meat had made him nauseous (he’d always preferred fruits and vegetables, particularly strawberries from their own gardens), but his father’s disappointed expression across the table always had him scarfing it down regardless. he’d never been comfortable with death. he would even carry bugs outside rather than kill them. the death of jimin’s parents was something he deliberately avoided mentioning, not only to spare his friend’s feelings, but to avoid thinking about it himself. he’d been a bit more desensitized to it as of late, but jungkook killing is one thing -- taehyung himself killing was another altogether. even though he hadn’t been the one to deal the final blow to the priest, he had still been an active participant in the taking of his life. after the adrenaline wears off, he’s shaken. he returns to the lighthouse in the early hours of the morning and downs glass after glass of water until namjoon, who had been lookout duty in his place, calls his name. “taehyung.”he starts, turns. sees his brother standing there with an unreadable expression. “oh, joon,” he says, wiping water off his chin with the back of his hand. “we need to talk,” namjoon says. a wave of panic strums through his body, but he’s so exhausted and his reality seems so distorted that he can’t feel the severity of the situation even when he knows it’s there. “about what?”namjoon takes a step closer, but it’s tentative. “where do you go when you leave?” he asks. taehyung gulps, his feet leaden to the ground. “what do you mean?”“you’re covered in blood, taehyung,” namjoon points out, concern heavy in his expression. “and your neck -- littered in bruises.”taehyung looks down at his clothes, surprised to see that namjoon is right. more than a small stain, blood paints his clothes as though tossed on him from a bucket. he can only imagine what his neck looks like, victim to jungkook’s greedy mouth and strong fingers.“i always assumed maybe you had a girlfriend you didn’t want anyone knowing out — or maybe a boyfriend, i don’t know. i didn’t care, so long as you were happy,” namjoon says, “but it’s not that, is it?” “i’m sorry, joon,” taehyung whispers. namjoon takes a deep breath, disappointment sagging his shoulders low. “is it what i think it is?” he asks. “i’ve been sneaking the wolf into our home for years,” taehyung explains, and once he starts, he finds he can’t stop. he tells namjoon everything -- tells him about meeting jungkook as a child and sneaking him into his bed in the winters, giving him table scraps, becoming his friend, falling in love with him, keeping his secrets and trying trying trying desperately to protect his life. namjoon listens quietly, intently, his eyes soft in that older brother way. when taehyung finishes, namjoon takes his hand in his own and squeezes. “i don’t know what to do, joon,” taehyung breathes. his entire being feels wobbly and uncertain, his body pulled heavily downward in pure exhaustion. but still, he feels pounds lighter with this secret off his chest, a palpable relief filling him to his core. he doesn’t know why he didn’t do this sooner — doesn’t know why he’d doubted namjoon’s love for him.“we’ll figure this out together, taehyung.”__________the church pulls out all the big stops for the priest’s funeral. how unfair that a good man like taehyung’s father had hardly a flower at his own. everyone in town is obligated to attend and bring an offering of sorts to place upon the grave; beside jimin’s bowl of sheep milk, taehyung places a pig’s tongue he’d bought from hoseok. hoseok’s father, head hunter, takes over position as priest right away. his stance is simple -- the death of their leader should fuel the town’s desire to take down their enemy in the continuing war, and the wolf must be found and killed immediately. the townspeople are livid and despaired. there’s nothing to be done. the militia, continuously growing smaller and smaller, head out once again later that same day.the feeling is different this time when namjoon says goodbye to his brother. his grip is tighter, his words softer. his eyes hold a glimpse of fear that taehyung isn’t used to seeing in his brave brother. yoongi, too, seems uncharacteristically anxious. even though it’s daylight, taehyung lights up the lamp as a way to say goodbye and watches the sea for hours even after the ship departs.this isn’t what was supposed to happen. the priest was gone, there was no longer a reason to continue the war. the new town leader was supposed to put an end to the bloodshed and return the people to normalcy. taehyung feels that he had been very naive and ignorant in his plans. maybe he had been wrong to try taking things into his own hands.restless, lonely, confused, and with hours of the day left to spare, he packs up a basket of wine, strawberries, and bread and makes through the forest to his grandma’s house, where his mother is still mourning the loss of her husband. just barely into the journey, he finds a familiar face waiting for him by the path. “you got bread in there?” is the first thing jungkook asks. “it’s not for you,” taehyung tries to sound serious, but he can’t help but smile. he hasn’t seen jungkook since nights before with the priest, and with all the stress and anxiety as of late, his presence is very welcome. jungkook falls into step beside him easily. after a few minutes of walking, he says, nervous yet insistent, “hey, i have something for you.”taehyung sighs. “i don’t like when you bring me carcasses, kook, i thought i told you to stop that.”“no, i -- it’s something different. you’ll like it, i promise,” jungkook insists. he’s looking at taehyung with wide, sincere eyes, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. taehyung gives in, curious. “okay,” he says, a bit wary but intrigued, “what is it?”jungkook bites back a smile. “follow me.”immediately, he darts off the path and through the trees. taehyung thinks of all the warnings his mother had given him growing up about straying from the path. but what kind of danger could he find? he was already in the grasp of the wolf. he follows jungkook, and after nearly a half hour of walking, they come to a small babbling brook. in front of it lies a sheet with a freshly baked pie sitting innocently in the center. it looks too tantalizing, like some sort of trap. “what is this?” taehyung laughs, confused and giddy. “i know you didn’t bake this pie yourself, jungkook.”“no, i found it in a window. i guess the baker didn’t want it, but i don’t know why because it looks fine to me,” he explains, face full of pride. “do you like it?”taehyung isn’t about to ruin jungkook’s moment of boasting with explanations of ‘actually, the baker left that pie in the window to cool--’“i do. i love it,” taehyung says. he makes up his mind and pulls the bread, wine, and strawberries out of his basket as he sits on the sheet. “let’s have a picnic.”“really?” jungkook exclaims, eyes bright. taehyung can practically see his tail wagging. he pulls jungkook down onto the ground with him and lets him set to work on the loaf of bread taehyung had baked in an attempt to calm his mind. the sight of jungkook’s pretty fingers tearing into taehyung’s efforts is strangely satisfying.as they eat, taehyung realizes how much he must have needed this. with the sun shining bright above their heads and the lush green of the forest surrounding them, he feels connected to his own body for the first time in months. his hands are his own and he feels present in this moment, in this reality, feels that he can take action for himself and mold his own life. the three glasses of wine he’d had might not have been the best idea; his face is warm and numb, his head dizzy, his movements heavy and quick, and as always his emotions multiply by a million. his body buzzes restlessly. he needs but he doesn’t know what. jungkook meets his eyes across the sheet and something in his expression -- in his wide eyes and soft cheeks -- makes a connection in taehyung’s mind that has him laughing. “jungkook,” he grins, “you know what this reminds me of?” “what?” “we’re like the story of little red riding hood,” taehyung says, “and you’re the big bad wolf.”jungkook takes one look at him laughing and frowns, obviously very offended. “you say that like you don’t think i can be bad,” he says, chomping away at the last strawberry. a trail of juice drips down his chin that he wipes with his forearm. “you know i’ve eaten people, taehyung.”he says it so casually that it should bother taehyung, a reminder that he’s not entirely human, but he just shakes his head. “you’re more like a puppy than anything.”jungkook studies him for a moment, then leans forward on his hands and knees to press his mouth against taehyung’s. it’s chaste and sweet and sticky, his lips tasting of strawberries and wine. taehyung wants to pull him close close closer but he breaks the kiss instead, peering up at jungkook’s round eyes. “my, what big eyes you have,” he says, smiling when jungkook huffs out a laugh and rubs their noses together. “all the better to see you with, my dear.”“what big ears you have,” taehyung says, rubbing the soft lobe of jungkook’s ear between his fingers. he can’t help but laugh at this ridiculous situation. his big bad wolf is nothing but a teddy bear and taehyung is smitten for it. “all the better to hear you with, my dear,” jungkook replies easily. he urges taehyung to lay back, and with the grass underneath him and jungkook’s warm body above him, taehyung feels calm. content. the urgency of time and the worry for his village vanishes -- the only thing real lies in jungkook’s rough hands and sweet breath. he swallows the lump in his throat before saying the next line. “what big teeth you have,” he whispers, chest clenching with something that’s not fear. jungkook runs his mouth across taehyung’s cheek and down the line of his neck. “are you going to make me say it, tae?”“why don’t you eat me, mister wolf?” taehyung asks, his fingers curling into the hair at the base of jungkook’s neck. it’s something that’s lurked in his mind since the beginning, a question he’s afraid of knowing the answer to. “as if i haven’t thought about it,” jungkook replies, and taehyung latches on to his every word. his canines press sharp against taehyung’s skin, sending a shiver down his spine. “you smell so sweet, taehyung. i bet you’d taste even sweeter.” taehyung’s breath hitches in his throat, his head going dizzy and gone. everything tangles together -- the breeze, the soft earth beneath his back, the endless tenderness he feels towards the boy above him -- above him, above him. he needs to touch.“jungkook,” he breathes, getting a halfhearted hum against his throat in reply. jungkook is busy sucking deep bruises into his skin. “stand up, please.” confused, jungkook complies. he rises to his feet, taehyung following to sit on his knees in front of him. jungkook watches him curiously and taehyung takes a moment to admire him. his facial structure is the most beautiful he's ever seen, all curves and soft angles juxtaposed against sharp bones, his cheeks plush, dimples sweet, and nose a round slope. his features come together so delicately it makes taehyung ache. “i’ve thought about it, too, you know,” he says, running his hands up jungkook’s thighs, “when i feel like i have nothing else to offer, i -- i remember that at least i could line your belly for the winter. provide the warmth and sustenance to keep you going.”“taehyung --”“i hope i’m worth at least that,” taehyung contemplates quietly, almost to himself. he undoes jungkook’s trousers and wraps a hand around his half-hard cock, body heating up when he hears the responding gasp above him. it doesn’t take long to have jungkook hard and leaking and taehyung leans forward to take him in his mouth. servicing another man -- and in the position of worship. taehyung has spent his entire life praying on his knees and to be here now at jungkook’s mercy brings him the strangest contentedness. with his cock pulsing against his tongue and drool running down his chin, with jungkook’s hands strong in his hair as he tries not to thrust too hard into taehyung’s mouth. his consideration, the quiet gasps that fall from his mouth, the fact that the pleasure he’s feeling is being created and given by taehyung -- it’s overwhelming in the best way. taehyung is willing to spend hours here, but jungkook is quick to pull him off, a thick strand of saliva and precum breaking from his lips and falling to the ground. “i was close,” jungkook breathes. he falls to his knees in front of taehyung and grasps his face with both hands to pull into a kiss, deep right from the start as he licks his own taste straight from taehyung’s tongue. he reaches into taehyung’s trousers and taehyung moans, pulling away to catch his breath. “can we -- the way husbands and wives do --” his mind is a blur and his mouth feels too heavy to articulate his words, but jungkook understands, and he looks at him with reverence. “taehyung,” he whispers, “are you sure?” taehyung nods eagerly, laying back and pulling jungkook on top of him. “please,” he says, “i’ve been thinking about it so much. need to feel you.”jungkook kisses him once, twice, then leans back slightly and splays a hand across taehyung’s chest. “your pulse is so fast,” he says in wonder, “like a rabbit’s.”taehyung has no time to reply to that, because jungkook immediately tugs off taehyung’s pants and leans down to take his entire length into his mouth, not stopping until the head of taehyung’s cock is hitting the back of his throat. taehyung gasps, hips lurching off the ground as he tangles his fingers in jungkook’s hair and tugs until jungkook gives a pretty moan. he starts up a quick pace, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head, running his tongue along the underside and swallowing when saliva drips out of his mouth. taehyung is trembling when he pulls off, but he doesn’t give him a break as he moves lower. he lifts taehyung’s hips off the ground and drags his tongue flat between his cheeks, then buries his mouth there as taehyung cries above him. “have you ever touched yourself here?” jungkook asks, dragging a finger across the skin. taehyung shakes his head. “never,” he pants out, cheeks flushed and eyes heavy. jungkook sits up and presses two fingers to taehyung’s mouth. taehyung flicks his tongue against them, then takes them into his mouth, humming when jungkook runs his other hand soothingly up and down his belly. “you look so pretty when your mouth is filled up,” jungkook whispers. taehyung smiles around the fingers, wrapping his hands around jungkook’s wrist and pulling them free. “you’ve got a mouth on you, huh?” jungkook leans back up for a kiss. his skin is warm beneath taehyung’s hands, his pulse audible in his ears as he presses against him. heat burrows in his belly like a prairie dog in the ground, and then jungkook is pressing a finger into him and he arches, trying hard to relax against the intrusion.“just breathe, little bunny,” jungkook says against his mouth. taehyung grasps onto him anywhere he can -- his arms, his waist, his pretty cheeks. jungkook takes his time using his fingers to stretch him open, unexpectedly patient as he watches taehyung’s every reaction. he goes from one finger to two, then puts in a third that has taehyung’s jaw dropping at the stretch. it starts out so uncomfortable, occasionally painful, awkward, but it has him looking forward to the real thing even more. “the birds are watching,” he laughs breathlessly, catching sight of a bluejay in a tree nearby. “birds are always watching. god is always watching,” jungkook replies, and something about it has taehyung shivering. jungkook pulls out his fingers and spits into his palm, slicking up his cock. the sight of him between taehyung’s thighs, cock in hand and eyes heavy lidded, is almost too much to handle“gonna fuck you, little bunny,” he says, then lines himself up and pushes in slowly. the breath is immediately knocked from taehyung’s lungs as jungkook fills him up completely. the stretch burns, it’s painful, but because jungkook is the one giving him that pain it becomes bearable. jungkook doesn’t fuck him right away, just grinds his hips in gentle circles as they both become accustomed to the feeling, jungkook’s body trembling above his own from holding back. body strong but strength withheld, fondness fueling gentle movements. most of the initial pain disappears, and jungkook pulls out to the head and dribbles saliva onto his cock to make the slide in smoother. he fucks into taehyung slowly, gasping, making the prettiest noises, and taehyung feels so full, bordering on bursting. so close to being overwhelming.“in another life, we could get married,” jungkook says, “we could live together and i could fuck you like this every night.” he brushes against something in taehyung that has him sobbing and arching and he digs his fingers into jungkook’s skin. “again, please,” he begs, and jungkook angles his hips just right. his pace speeds up, skin slapping against skin and taehyung is hazy-eyed and lovestruck and out of it, body going pliant as he lets jungkook fuck him open until he's crying, lets him manhandle him however he sees fit.the pain is gone and is instead replaced with the greatest pleasure taehyung has ever experienced, the feeling so deep inside him he feels it in his bones. he has tears running down his cheeks and jungkook is looking at him so softly, the roughness of his hips juxtaposing the gentle way he presses his lips to taehyung’s. “i’ve got you,” he whispers when taehyung comes between their bodies, his own orgasm following shortly after. “take me to your house,” taehyung says, tired, eyes still wet with tears. jungkook does, of course, and they spend the night there, sleeping, fucking, eating, then bathing in the nearby stream in the morning before taehyung heads back out to the path to his grandmother’s house.jungkook’s hands are so warm and gentle on his cheeks when he kisses him goodbye. taehyung is in love.
with great delight i sit in your shadow, and your fruit is sweet to my taste
__________as taehyung had expected, his mother is still lost in grief. she seems desolate, older than taehyung remembers, with heavy bags under her eyes and lines creasing around her mouth. his grandma says she’s been sitting endlessly, hour after hour, gaze cast out the window. “i wasn’t sure what to do when she fell in love with a poor lighthouse keeper from a small town miles away,” his grandma says, smiling fondly at the memories. “they were young and in love and fought tooth and nail to be together, silly things. you’ll find that one day, too, taehyung.”taehyung smiles, both at the thought of his parents so in love and at his own harbored secret. he brings tea and biscuits to his mother and does chores around the house and garden for his grandmother. he departs in the evening, alone this time during his trek through the forest, and when he returns he’s met with the sight of several men standing in front of his door. hoseok steps out from among them, his expression grim. taehyung’s heart leaps in his chest. hoseok, bearer of bad news.taehyung greets him hesitantly, stopping a small distance away as hoseok takes off his hat. “taehyung,” he starts,“it’s been brought to our attention that the wolf has been seen around your home a great number of times.”speechless, taehyung feels planted to the ground as though his feet have sprouted roots. “i -- ““i’m going to need you to come with us,” hoseok says. he seems apologetic and disappointed as the guards surrounding him come up to take taehyung by the arms, turning him away from the lighthouse. taehyung feels as though time has paused, or has been somehow skewed and distorted. he feels outside of his own body; he can only bear witness as he’s dragged away from his lifelong home, his strawberries, his beaches, jungkook --“w-wait,” he breathes out, voice foreign to his own ears, “the lighthouse -- who will --”“it’ll be taken care of, taehyung, it’s not your concern anymore,” hoseok says.it’s not his concern anymore. god, what will happen to him? hoseok’s father, the new town leader, is infamous for his bloodlust, his complete lack of humanity. taehyung has heard the stories of what he’s done on his hunts, the torture of the innocent animals, the painful and prolonged deaths, the joy he derives from milking them of life.maybe there’s still a way to fix this. a remedy. a remedy like the ones his mother would make, home-made, when he was sick in bed, or the way jungkook’s wounds have always healed unnaturally quick. now yoongi -- he would be able to get out of this. cunning words, a twisting of the truth -- but taehyung is a terrible liar. the journey is a blur. taehyung is vaguely aware of the bruising grip on his arms and putrid stench of rot in his nostrils, but nothing else seems able to break through the barrier of his fear. before he knows it, he’s thrown into a cell. he doesn’t know where he is. he’s never seen the inside of the prison and he knows the militia barracks have holding cells as well as the rumored dungeon beneath the church. the clanging slam of the door snaps him out of his reverie.“wait!” he lunges forward, desperate as he grips the bars of the cell. “what’s happening? please --”“my father will arrive soon to question you,” hoseok says, his expression blank, then promptly leaves.the seconds that follow are torturously long. taehyung paces the cell, racking his mind for an explanation. so the wolf has been seen around the lighthouse -- someone must have told. still, mere sightings don’t correlate to taehyung’s involvement with the wolf. besides the supposed sightings, there’s no evidence that taehyung is part of this. a door slams as hoseok’s father steps into the room, and taehyung makes up his mind in that second to play dumb. “why am i here?” he demands, “i did nothing wrong.”hoseok’s father, a large powerful man named soobin, looks down his nose at him, his eyes hard and unyielding. “what business does the wolf have being at your home, taehyung?” “i don’t know what you mean,” taehyung says, swallowing the lump in his throat. “oh, you don’t know? you don’t know that the wolf has been seen multiple times around your lighthouse, on your beaches? that there are accounts of young seokjin and jaebum going to visit you before they were found missing? that you’re the only one in the village to make frequent trips through the forest without ending up a meal for the demon who torments us?” speechless, taehyung grips at the bars, searching for answers, excuses, anything to get him out of this situation. “word of mouth means nothing,” he says, desperate to appear calm, “and i travel only to see my ailing grandmother, please understand.” “we both know the truth,” soobin says. he seems as formidable as an iron gate, as tall as the skies above. “regardless, i’ll get it from your mouth soon enough.”with that, he turns and leaves taehyung alone and confused. what had just happened? the moment had passed too quickly for taehyung to be able to grasp onto it. he falls to the ground, mind racing. what did soobin mean he would get a confession? what are they going to do to him? __________taehyung counts the days through the light that comes through the single cell window. six days, five nights. no one has come to him except on the second day, when a guard had brought a pitcher of water and nothing else. taehyung had refused to touch it at first, but now he drinks reluctantly from it, the pain of hunger knotted in his belly almost too much to bear. is this what soobin had meant? was he going to neglect taehyung until he was broken down enough to reveal the truth? but that would entail someone being here for taehyung to give the truth to. the only soul he’s seen in the recent days besides the guard is the rat that would dart across the floor of the cell for his water pitcher. on the seventh day, soobin returns to his cell. he crouches down to be eye level with taehyung, who’s sitting with his back to the wall. “how do you feel?” soobin asks. taehyung smiles. “never been better.”“so the hunger is doing you well?” soobin asks. taehyung doesn’t reply at first, but then takes in a shaky breath, his desperation rattling his bones. “please, sir, i’ve done nothing,” he pleads, “i know nothing. i’ve seen nothing. i’m of no use to you here.” soobin stands. he pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and taehyung realizes that his only means of escape is in this man’s hand. so close. “you know, taehyung,” he says, “if you tell me what you know, i’ll let you out to see your brother when he returns. if he returns.”taehyung feels that all the air has been knocked from his lungs. “please,” he whispers. even in this muddled, starving, fucked up state he’s able to spot the threat. “he has nothing to do with this.” soobin tilts his head. “nothing to do with what?” “fuck,” taehyung curses, dropping his head when he realizes his slip. he raises to his feet with difficulty and crosses the room so that he can stand eye to eye with soobin. “you’re on the wrong trail,” he says, “the wolf is out there, it’s hard to tell how many people he’s killed since i’ve been in here. you’re wasting your time with me.” “but i don’t think i am,” soobin says. he seems smug, like he’s gotten some kind of answer out of taehyung. “see you in a week.” “wait!” taehyung exclaims, but soobin doesn’t look back as he leaves, and suddenly taehyung is alone, again, with no idea when he’s next going to eat or if he’ll ever be released from this hellhole of a cell. was soobin serious with his threat against namjoon? but how could hurting the village’s best fighter help soobin at all, even if it did lead him to the wolf? was the wolf really a bigger priority than the war?with his mind more jumbled and depraved than ever, taehyung cries into the floor. how had he ended up here? who had told about the wolf sightings? had it been yoongi? jimin?did jimin know taehyung was here? did he think he was dead, missing? who was tending to the lighthouse? and jungkook -- taehyung knows he must be worried. maybe even scared. confused. maybe he was searching for him, maybe someone would find him here, maybe he would wake up to find that this had all been a bad dream. maybe he would tell jungkook about it and they would laugh about how crazy it was and everything would be fine. but more than likely, taehyung would die here. he would waste away of malnourishment and none of his loved ones would even know. or maybe they would, and they would be forever disappointed in him and his association with the wolf. with jungkook. the second week passes more quickly than the first. a guard had brought him a slice of old bread at some point, but taehyung had just thrown it up. there’s a deepset pain digging into his mid-back, and though he’s faced with endless boredom he can’t seem to force himself to sleep for more than two hours. he finds it difficult to focus on anything around him, even when a few guards unlock his cell and lift him by the arms to guide him outside. the sun is painful to his eyes. he’s shoved to the ground before he realizes what’s happening and is helpless against the kick to his ribs. someone grips him by the hair and forcefully pulls him up to his knees. “well? are you ready to confess?” soobin asks. taehyung realizes he’s in the same plaza where the festival had been held. where jungkook had snuck in and dragged him away, where seokjin and jaebum had followed and--taehyung spits at soobin. “fuck you.”soobin’s expression hardens and he wastes no time in hitting taehyung in the jaw with the butt of his gun. a blinding pain flashes white across taehyung’s vision, but he promises himself not to spill anything to soobin even if it kills him. “taehyung!” someone exclaims, and taehyung immediately recognizes the voice as jimin’s. his heart clenches when he sees his friend restrained by several guards across the plaza with the rest of the crowd. it seems everyone in the village had showed up to see taehyung get beaten bloody and bruised. “just kill me,” he says. a dare.“death would be too big a mercy for you,” soobin replies. the process continues in a blur. soobin would ask him questions he would refuse to answer, then deal him a blow that would leave him bleeding. finally, soobin reaches peak frustration, and stops asking questions altogether, instead ordering the guards to do with taehyung whatever they like. he’s lost consciousness several times due to pain, each kick to the chest or blow to his face adding to the evergrowing bloom of pain flowing throughout his veins. in and out of his consciousness, he imagines he sees the wolf lunge towards the guards, imagines the deep rumble of its growl, the cracking of bones between teeth, screams, gunshots, chaos. it all melts together into a pitch black symphony behind his eyelids. his last thought as he falls into unconsciousness is of jungkook. __________ taehyung had brought jungkook into town with him once. it was a spur of the moment decision while they were walking through the woods to his grandmother’s house. taehyung had looked over at jungkook’s profile and thought of the life they could have together if jungkook wasn’t a wolf. if he wouldn’t be shunned by the village for being who he is.“you want me to what?” jungkook asked, eyes wide and owlish. “it’ll be fun, just for a little while,” taehyung smiled, “you’ll love the bakery. all the bread and cake you can eat. well, you can’t actually eat all of it because you have to pay, but -- ”“oh,” jungkook whispered, and his mind was made up. jungkook had looked in awe at everything. his eyes gleamed prettily and taehyung lost track of him several times when he took off to admire something that was mundane and boring to taehyung but brand new and engaging to jungkook. he was critically shy when the baker asked him what he wanted. taehyung spent nearly all of his money on him just to see him happy, and it was worth it. but eventually it seemed like he crawled into some space within himself. he watched a mother race after her children down the street, the way she held their hands when she caught up and smiled happily at them. he stopped, expression lost when taehyung looked back at him.“are you alright?” he asked. he almost grabbed jungkook’s hand but stopped himself in time. jungkook nodded. his eyes were glassy. later, he told taehyung he couldn’t do it. couldn’t bear to be a human. every part of the village reminded him he was merely an outsider. “taehyung.”it was strange and difficult to face the reminder that he was the only person jungkook really had, and even that had begun on accident. a lonely kid trekking through the forest to bring that season’s harvest to his grandma. a whimpering pup in a pile of overbrush. “taehyung.”he’d never actually made it to his grandmother’s that day. he’d sat with the pup for hours, had given it all the strawberries and bread in his basket. had forgiven it instantly when it fearfully dug its sharp teeth into his arm. he still had the scar to show for it. jungkook liked to lightly trail his fingers over it as though the soft touch could heal it.
“taehyung.”
taehyung shoots back into consciousness, his senses returning one by one. he’s back in his dirty cell, his body strewn across the cold floor. someone is sitting beside him with a hand stroking through his hair, a gentle touch so unlike everything he’s experienced these past days. “jimin,” he whispers, or tries to whisper with his sore throat. warm relief blooms through his chest, and he stares in disbelief at the boy in front of him. he’s expecting him to disappear at any moment, or to wake up and realize he was merely a figment of his imagination. but jimin’s hand doesn’t stop petting his hair, and he smiles gently down at taehyung in such a beautiful and real way that taehyung knows he couldn’t make it up. “we have to go,” he says, “can you get up?”taehyung becomes aware of his body and the pain still thrumming about it. he sits up, hissing through his teeth at the sharp stab of hurt in his ribs. “what’s going on? why are you here?” he gasps out. jimin helps him stand, then guides him out of the cell. in his muddled mind, taehyung wonders where jimin got the key. “there’s been an invasion,” jimin explains, “they came by ship, went around our militia. i’ve been ordered to lead the women and children to the next village while the guards and remaining men do what they can to hold back the fighting.”taehyung tries making sense of the words, but he’s already half unconscious again and all of his effort is going into not falling out of jimin’s grip. try as he might, he does pass out, his reality nothing but pitch black until he awakens to jimin guiding him toward the forest where the majority of the town has evacuated. he can hear the battle; the gunshots, the screaming. he feels sick to his stomach. panic surges through his system. “where’s jungkook?” he questions weakly. had he imagined the wolf barging in at the plaza? was he in safe? and what about his brother? jimin had said the enemy had gone around their militia, right?“namjoon,” he gasps, his vision gone blurry and useless, “where --”jimin’s lips are pressed into a hard line as he stares determinedly ahead. it takes a long moment for him to reply, “i don’t know.”__________taehyung isn’t able to fully focus on anything, fully come back to reality, until he’s settled around a fire with jimin and the townswomen and children. this must be it, the last of his home, a handful of survivors gathered together in this clearing wondering about the fate of their loved ones.the majority of townspeople make it a point to avoid taehyung, but one woman, miyoung, assists jimin in getting taehyung warm and fed and healed. it doesn’t happen all at once, but after a bowl of hot soup and a handful of berries, a quick river scrub under jimin’s guide, a thick blanket wrapped around his body, and healing balm and bandages over his wounds, taehyung feels physically better than he believed possible. still, there’s a great pit in his chest he can’t seem to fill. jimin waits until he’s in this coherent, improved condition before explaining what had happened. most of the other townspeople are sleeping, or at least trying to after the long day they’ve had. jimin assists taehyung in staggering deeper into the forest for privacy until they arrive at a flowing river, the same one they used to frequent as kids. it had been a popular play place back before the wolf appeared. since then, only the bravest stepped foot into the forest. the bravest -- and taehyung, with his basket of harvest a gift for his grandmother.jimin and taehyung sit side by side in the grass, both reluctant to speak. finally, jimin tears his eyes away from the river and studies taehyung’s profile. “the town had been suspicious about you for a while,” he whispers. it takes a while for taehyung to process the words. he should have known. despite his best efforts, something was sure to fall between the cracks. “i’m sorry, jimin,” he says. jimin huffs out a laugh through his nose. “why are you sorry? i love you, taehyung. you can do nothing wrong in my eyes, you know that.”taehyung’s vision goes blurry. “i just --” his voice chokes off, “i didn’t mean for any of this to happen. i should have tried harder, i should have talked to you, i should have gone away with him -- i don’t know. i don’t --”jimin wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug, lets him sniffle into his shoulder. “it’s not your fault,” he says, “i’m just glad you’re safe.”they stay that way for a while. taehyung feels exhausted, especially now with the soothing flow of the river and the warmth of his friend beside him, but he needs answers, no matter how terrible they might be. he pulls away, rubbing away the wetness on his cheeks. “you don’t know where joon is? and jung- and the wolf?” jimin bites his lip, looking away. “namjoon led the militia out yesterday, before the ordeal in the plaza.”taehyung takes a deep breath. “does he know that i....?”“yes,” jimin says carefully. “he fought hard for you. so did yoongi, and me. but soobin was obstinate. he said he had plenty of evidence in his favor and that it was only a matter of time before the wolf showed up for you.” ‘before the world showed up for you--’ before the wolf showed up for him. so that was the plan all along. taehyung was used as bait. the images from the plaza have been endlessly plaguing his mind. jungkook lunging through the crowd, the rumble of his growl reverberating through taehyung’s bones. taehyung remains unsure of the facts. had he imagined the whole thing? he needs to ask. “taehyung--” jimin starts, but pauses. his expression says it all. “oh,” taehyung exhales. his mind goes blank. his vision blurs at the edges and the roar of the river is suddenly overwhelming to his ears. he wants to sleep, and to wake up to things being different. this was all a nightmare, or some fucked up alternate universe he’s accidentally stepped into, or a sick joke -- it can’t be real. “let me explain,” jimin says in a rush, his eyes gleaming, “the wolf showed up at the plaza. he attacked the guards and then he -- he was shot. and when he fell unconscious, suddenly it wasn’t a wolf laying there. it was a boy. soobin ordered the medics to him right away. he wanted the wolf -- the boy -- alive for questioning. for answers.” he pauses and grabs taehyung’s hand in his own. “i need you to know the full story, taehyung. tensions have been rising these past two weeks. there’s been a lot of talk about ending the war, but not in the way you might think.” “what do you mean?”“soobin ordered a sneak attack. he wanted the militia to raid the village and kill general hwang. he said it was the only way to effectively end the battle and help us live in peace.” “what?” taehyung exclaims, barely able to keep up with jimin’s words. “i know,” jimin says quietly, “namjoon was strongly against it. he almost refused to do it, but soobin leveraged having you in custody.”taehyung curses. “and then today?” “today,” jimin says, “our town was attacked. hwang brought his men in around our own militia. i was ordered to evacuate the women and children while soobin gathered whatever men were left to help defend our home. it was mainly youth and the elderly, it -- it was pitiful, taehyung. unholy.” “i’m so sorry, jimin,” taehyung breathes. “stop apologizing,” jimin continues, “i looked for your friend before we left, but his cell was empty.”“empty?” taehyung’s heart speeds up in his chest. “he must have escaped,” jimin whispers. that night, taehyung prays for the first time in a while.__________their small group of survivors eventually makes it to the next village. gritting his teeth against the pain, taehyung had guided them with jimin’s support through the familiar path to his grandma’s home. inns all around the village had opened their doors to the frightened women and their babies at no cost.taehyung falls into his mother’s arms with a great sigh of relief and exhaustion. she frets over him like she hasn’t since he was a kid and he notices happily that her eyes are brighter and complexion healthier than they were since the last time he had seen her. as wrong as it seems, it appears the worry had breathed life back into her, and taehyung is just happy to have her back. he lets jimin do the explaining as he fills himself up with soup and bread and hot tea. to have gone from that place of abuse and neglect to this warm house of comfort gives him such whiplash that he questions several times whether he’s dreaming. he’s too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to worry about whether his mother and grandmother will be disappointed in him for affiliating with the wolf, and luckily they’re too relieved of his safety to be angry. he wonders how he got so lucky. “namjoon will be just fine,” his grandmother tells him that night, “he’s always come back to us before. he will this time, too.”taehyung hopes that’s true. “and about that wolf -- you know i’ve always trusted your decisions. you must have had your reasons, so don’t beat yourself up over it. your mother and i are just glad to have you here safe.”the hours are long that night and he doesn’t sleep much, plagued by thoughts of the battle that might be still be going at his home and guilt that he wasn’t there to protect it. the moonless sky outside the window seems like a dark foreboding. he curls into jimin’s side and prays for quick answers to his many questions. a horn calls in the early, early hours of the morning, before the sun has properly risen. the house bustles with tired energy as taehyung, his mom, grandmother, and jimin gather with confusion and head toward the town square where a crowd is quickly gathering around a young, exhausted soldier. he looks worn and beaten, and he stands with the support of a post. his heart in his throat, taehyung realizes he must be here to give word on the battle. he hears a quiet gasp beside him and reaches over to take his mother’s hand in his own. the sun peaks out above the horizon just as the soldier opens his mouth to speak. “it’s been difficult. we’ve lost many men, most of whom weren’t fit to be fighting regardless, but --” his eyes scan the crowd as taehyung holds his breath, waiting for the blow, waiting for it to hurt -- “we’ve won this battle.”silence follows as confusion spreads like roots through the air. “there was no one left to fight,” jimin says quietly, voicing the crowd’s thoughts. “the militia returned shortly after the invaders arrived,” the soldier explains, his eyes twinkling as he remembers. lightheaded, taehyung imagines what he must be remembering -- namjoon, hero and leader, guiding his militia in to save the day. “it was a long battle, but the enemies were pushed out. hwang was killed and a peace treaty was negotiated. the war is finally over.”cheers erupt. there’s applause, great sighs of relief, chest-wracking sobs. a woman falls to her knees and mutters prayers into her clasped hands. taehyung wants to celebrate with them -- he wants to ditch this heavy anxiety and fear, wants to thank god, fall to the ground and finally feel at peace again. but he only has more questions. “what about my husband?” a woman asks from the crowd. the cheers die down as the relief passes, and then it’s the fresh concerns. are their fathers and sons and husbands safe? the soldier can’t keep up with the barrage of questions and names coming his way, and after a minute floundering, his expression lights up again. “oh! and the most bewildering part of all! the wolf --” taehyung’s heart falls to his feet at the very word -- “the wolf fought alongside our great men. general namjoon fought back to back with the beast as they took down general hwang. they even had their wounds treated together side by side.”taehyung’s feet are moving before his mind can comprehend the words. namjoon -- the wolf -- he finds himself headed to the forest, to the path that carries him home. the adrenaline running through his system has him dizzy and giddy and unbelieving. the pain he should be feeling from his wounds is nonexistent. “taehyung!” jimin calls. “taehyung, wait.”he’s laughing breathlessly when he catches up, and taehyung knows it’s from the same relief and elation he’s feeling himself. “they’re alive,” he says. they’re the only words that are capable of filling his mind at the moment. “they’re alive.” again and again, until he can fully believe it, but that belief never comes. it’s too good to be true. but he’s hoping. “let me go back and gather some things for the trip, i’ll catch up with you, okay?” jimin says, nothing but joy in his eyes. he pulls taehyung into a hug and taehyung melts into it, holding tight, needing something to anchor onto in the midst of these emotions. the pain and exhaustion of the trip back is worth it when he sees namjoon nearly fall to his knees at the sight of him. taehyung’s body crumples against namjoon’s, his face pressed against his shoulder as he cries the way he’s needed to for days. namjoon holds him tight, only pulling away to wipe at taehyung’s wet cheeks. “you’ve always been such a big crybaby,” he laughs, even though his own eyes are full of tears. taehyung shakes his head, about to reply when he notices --“your arm --” he gasps. or rather, the lack of an arm. he stares gape-mouthed at where namjoon’s right arm used to be, the length of it now stopping in a bloody, bandaged stump a little above the elbow. “what, this? this is nothing,” namjoon says, laughing at taehyung’s wide eyes. “joon, i’m so sorry, i --”“hey, no, none of that. you know what this means, right?” he asks, and he seems so genuinely unbothered that it shocks taehyung. taehyung shakes his head. “i don’t have to lead the militia anymore. i can finally do something for myself, something i want to do. you know, i’ve always been curious about gardening.”taehyung flings himself into another hug, his face numb from all the crying. “joon, you never turn up any crops, that’s why mom and dad never let you do the gardening,” he sobs, and he knows it’s ridiculous but he can’t bring himself to care when his brother is here and safe and, apparently, happy.“oh, is he talking about his farm dreams again?” a familiar voice asks, and taehyung gasps when he looks up to see yoongi walking beside an approaching jimin. “look who i found tending to the wounded like a good, caring citizen,” jimin says as taehyung pulls yoongi into a hug. jimin’s words soak into his head then, and he looks around the infirmary for the first time. the entire space is being utilized but it isn’t enough. the few beds are filled and the rest of the injured are lying within inches of each other on the ground as their wounds are tended to. taehyung was too overwhelmed to notice it before, but now the smell of blood and rot fills his nostrils to the point of pain. he wonders what the body count is. he wonders if this is something the village can come back from. “your friend is very brave.”namjoon’s voice has him jerking his gaze back to him. mouth dry, taehyung musters the words, “where is he?”“the lighthouse,” namjoon says, a small smile playing on the edges of his mouth, “he said he wanted to be somewhere familiar.”taehyung’s throat closes up but he doesn’t let himself cry again. nodding, he steps away, trying to come up with something to say, pulse going rabbit crazy as he pictures jungkook’s face.“just go, taehyung,” yoongi rolls his eyes. he does. __________taehyung’s mother had always told him his heart was too big for his body. he’d always taken care of things. the rabbit he’d found injured from a fox attack slept on his pillow for weeks before it was healed enough to set free. dying strawberry crops were given a second shot at life with the care of his hands and the beetles crawling along his floorboards were always carried out to the grass instead of stomped by his heavy boots. when he was seven and came across a starving, shivering wolf cub in the woods, he’d cradled it up in his arms and carried it back home. “get that thing out of our house, taehyung,” his mother had hissed, “it’s a wolf.”“but he’s hungry,” taehyung had argued, watching as the pitiful thing snuffed around the empty plate of scrap bones. “we can barely feed ourselves,” his mother replied, though her tone had somewhat softened, “take it back where you found it.”taehyung had snuck out part of his dinner for weeks to give to the cub, and every night it would gobble it down as if it was the first thing it had ever eaten. one night it wasn’t a wolf sitting in the brush, but a boy about the same size as taehyung. it took months for him to speak to taehyung, but by then they’d established a close camaraderie that had been previously unfamiliar to them both. sure enough, when taehyung steps into his room now, his bed isn’t empty. jungkook lays there, hair fanned out on the pillow like a halo as he sleeps where taehyung always has. the bed he grew up in, the bed he would sneak jungkook into during the harsh winters. after days of rushing and worrying, taehyung slows down. he sits beside jungkook and watches the lulling rise and fall of his chest, runs a hand through his hair and thumbs the crease knit tightly between his brows. he can’t help but touch, needs the reassurance that jungkook is real and safe and here with him. “taehyung,” jungkook whispers, voice raspy. taehyung hadn’t noticed him opening his eyes, but now as their gazes meet taehyung’s heart beats so hard against his ribcage that he fears it might fracture. “is this a dream?” jungkook’s normally bright eyes are outlined with a heavy purple so dark it could paint the sky at twilight. taehyung can’t imagine what these past few days have looked like for him. “no,” he replies just as quietly. jungkook pushes himself up, eyes never leaving taehyung’s, and reaches a hand out to press against taehyung’s chest. taehyung watches as something in his expression crumples, and catches him when he falls into him. “i didn’t think you were coming back,” jungkook whispers, gripping onto taehyung so tightly it hurts. neither of them care about the pain from their injuries. a bluejay perches in a tree outside the window and taehyung tries not to cry.___________ people come from villages over to help with the reconstruction, so no one questions jungkook’s presence when he goes into town with taehyung to buy lettuce seeds for the garden, or to visit namjoon and yoongi at their new fish shop, or because jungkook has a craving for a certain pastry or bread that taehyung apparently isn’t adept enough at making himself. “taehyung,” hoseok waves him over to the butcher shop one day, “i need to apologize. i --”“it’s no problem,” taehyung says, shaking his head. hoseok has been a little worse for wear lately, with his father dying in battle and his shop losing business. he seems to harbor a lot of guilt associated with his father that taehyung doesn’t fully understand. “i want to put that whole thing behind me.”for the most part, he does. a lot of things have changed in taehyung’s life, but a lot more have stayed the same. he still tends to his garden, but now namjoon is on his tail with hawk eyes as he takes mental notes of taehyung’s every movement, though he still can’t seem to sprout anything himself. jimin still invites himself over for dinner with a homemade dessert in hand, but now yoongi is there with him, as natural as if they’d always been together. jungkook still snuggles in underneath his chin when they sleep at night, but now he’s there for breakfast, too. and lunch. and dinner. and taehyung doesn’t think he could get rid of him if he tried. taehyung accepts the carcasses jungkook occasionally brings him as gifts. he buries them in the garden and cleans the blood from jungkook’s teeth and fingernails, kisses him softly as jungkook preens under the attention. this year brings the best strawberry harvest he’s ever had.