Work Text
One day, after their weekly lunch, Garak notices Julian forgot a padd. He tries to call the doctor but he is already too far, and Garak may be in disgrace, but like hell he will fall for the indignity of chasing one young human companion down the promenade.Well, he can always return it the next time they see each other. Probably it is a medical padd, or a new novel for them to read anyway. Or is it?There’s something about that padd, but he can’t put his finger on what. He arrives at his shop and puts it on the table, but now and then glances at it. Surely if it was important Julian would have called him and asked for it. So, if it is not important, maybe it will be ok to just take a look.
No, Garak, you old lizard. What was the phrase Julian used? Curiosity feed...? Trimmed...? No, not that. Tipped...? No, curiosity killed the cat, that is. Killed. Not that I know what a cat is, anyway. Some sort of reptile, probably, or he would not have used it to talk about me, right?
He calls Julian. He is in the infirmary and answers “Garak, please don’t read the padd!” and just hangs before Garak can utter any answer.He finishes a tunic and looks at it again. Honestly, Julian should be more careful with his stuff.By the 10th piece of clothing, Garak’s nerves are on edge. He just can’t take it anymore. He wonders if maybe Julian was actually recruited by Tain and this is some kind of elaborate mind game.If he was able to sweat, he’s sure he’d be doing it by now.He decides to go to the back of his shop and read it. If he’s going to lose self-restraint, at least he better do it far from other people’s eyes.He turns on the padd.He is not sure what he is expecting.Military secrets? As if Tain or Sisko would give him State secrets, you damn lizard.Something in kardassi? Maybe the lost Preloc novel. How the hell would Julian know about that, Garak? Don’t be stupid.Another Shakespeare’s play? May Cardassia forbid that, I can’t take it anymore. Please no more ancient Earth nobles.A boring medical text? This is the most plausible option, stupid gecko. Be realistic.... it is none of them.It is actually an elaborate spies story, written by Julian himself. Garak can’t believe his eyes. It is surprisingly good, even if the characters are quite obviously based on them, and the love story is kind of sappy. There are a dashing young and very smart prince, trying to save his planet and family, and a seasoned and very attractive spy from a rivaling kingdom, trapped between responsibility and their blooming feelings for each other. They chase each other in a space station, while trying to accomplish their goals and please their unloving fathers.Garak ends up spending the whole afternoon in the back of his shop, reading the novel and plotting his revenge. Next time they see each other, Julian is grinning and commenting on the last enigma tale they agreed to share. Garak decides to wait a bit before addressing the question. He knows Julian must be dying to ask about it the novel. He is enjoying his discomfort a lot. Finally he takes pity on him.“So, dear, you forgot a padd last time we saw each other. You cut me short when I called for you to retrieve it.”Julian opens his eyes in a gesture he is sure it is very natural and realistic."Oh no, you didn't read it, did you, Garak? Oh, how embarrassing."“No, no, of course no, my dear. What kind of person do you think I am?”“Oof, that is such a relief, Garak. I don’t know what I would have done if you did.”Julian flutters his eyelashes. Garak is sure now. They both know he read it.“Of course, you don’t even need to ask. Although I am quite surprised you have literary inclinations. I would have never believed you liked to write.”“What could have given you that idea, my dear Garak?”Julian leans on the table, closer to Garak. Garak gets closer too and smiles conspiratorially.“Oh, no, it was just a passing thought. It is not as if I read anything.”“Of course not, of course not. And I imagine you’d have no idea what kind of things I’d like to write, either.”“Not at all, but if I had to venture something, I’d say you may like romantic spy stories.”“That’s quite a bold assumption.”“Oh, is it?”“I have no idea why you could think of that.”“Of course you don’t, my dear.”Garak thinks Julian never looked more adorable. They’ve always flirted, and he always assumed that for Julian it was more than anything a fun way to pass time, without real intent behind it, but now he is not sure. Maybe Julian had been seriously going for him all along.Julian is feeling smug. He is sure it is very well written. If Garak won’t acknowledge his advances in a normal way, then well, maybe writing something like this will give him a hint.This plan can’t backfire. Can it? And yet, they still are walking in circles, with none of them admitting the obvious truth that they both know Garak read it. Julian feels he can’t take it any longer. He finally sits on the edge of his chair.“So what did you think of our spy friend? Did he... remind you of anyone?”Garak smiles. He won. Julian surrendered first."Oh, I'm not sure. You told me not to read the padd, didn't you?"“Since when do you listen to me?”"I always listen to you, dear. I'm wounded that you think otherwise."“Of course. That’s why you left that wire in your brain for days.”Garak smiles slyly. He is enjoying this more than he should.“Now, now my dear, you know Agent Greer doesn’t appreciate too much bite before breakfast.”Julian just looks at him in disbelief. Did Garak just turn the tabs on him? But he planned this so carefully!Garak smiles even wider and hands him a new padd."By the way, my dear, I wrote a sequel. Care to read it and discuss it?"Julian carefully opens the padd and swallows a bit because he didn’t expect this. Is this some sort of retaliation, or is Garak flirting with him?He reads it when he is alone in the infirmary and he is not too sure he likes it. While it is certainly well written, this sequel is dark and a bit boring. Everything ends up with sacrifices towards the State. Where his own had action, romance, explosions and battles, this one has one never-ending inner monologue after another.“So, my dear Doctor, what did you think of my story?”“It’s very... ehm. Dry. Serious. So more focused on sacrifice than my rendition. And Agent Greer certainly seems ... darker than before.”Julian gulps and Garak smiles. Definitely, his plan backfired. He had expected Garak to admit his feelings and maybe invite him for a nice night in a holosuite, and instead they are discussing the dark and so very kardassi sequel of his own story."Well, my dear doctor, yours was very bubbly and a bit unrealistic. Although I kind of liked the romantic subplot."“Bubbly? I - well, uhm, the romantic subplot was quite nice here. The description was interesting though. Not how I pictured them, though.”"Oh? tell me how you pictured it, then."Julian knows he's been played. He gulps audibly and Garak’s smile grows wider.“I umm. I thought Prince Aurelius wasn’t quite so gangly and all the comparisons to a deer threw me. And you made Agent Greer so umm.. so dark and full of secrets. And their romantic scenes were quite... descriptive.” So very descriptive. Julian can’t help blushing at the memory."I thought you liked metaphors and comparisons."“I- yes, of course. I just always pictured Greer as the lithe, sleek one. Built like a cat with just as much grace.”Garak still has no idea what a cat is. He makes a mental note to search what the hell is that animal."You should have put a bit more effort in your descriptions, then."“Oh, well. I thought I made it clear. After all didn’t Greer remind you of, well... mm... Someone you know?”Julian wants so badly for Garak to say he saw Julian as the mysterious seasoned spy, but it seems he accidentally wrote himself as the prince, and only now he realizes it. He wonders if there’s any chance he’ll be able to get out of this without bruising his ego too severely.“Well, I couldn't help imagine him like the kind of man that has scales, my dear."And he just keeps sipping his tea, apparently oblivious to the distress his human companion is now experiencing.“I - what. I - no! He’s not - “Julian starts rereading his own story and frowns several times when he notices Greer has a very familiar speech pattern. Julian gets to his description of Aurelius, brilliant but awkward, determined and stubborn but also naive.He is now completely sure he will not be able to save himself. He may still have one chance to escape. Garak is a master of deflection. Maybe he can use that technique on him. That will surely impress him, too."And who does Aurelius remind you of, Garak?"“Who do you think, my dear? And by the way, you mentioned my descriptions. What did you think of them?”“They were very... descriptive.”Julian gets more and more flustered because well. Oh. Now that Garak mentions them, his enhanced memory betrays him and he can’t stop them from coming back to his mind.“Such a vague answer. Especially coming from the man that didn’t stop until I gave him a full review of The Iliad.”“They were quite... imaginative. I feel I sort of... Learned something. Medical stuff, mostly. Really imaginative... Can scales really do...? No, never mind, I don't want to know, Garak.”“Really? I could answer any question you may have, dear Doctor.”Julian just can’t take this anymore. He stands suddenly."You know what, Garak? I don't want answers. I think I'll write a sequel and then go to my spies holoprogram. Alone."And he goes out, frustrated and clinging to the last shreds of his dignity.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Here”
Julian throws a padd on the table and Garak takes it. He raises an eye ridge and looks up at the doctor, who’s looming over him, triumphant smile in his face.
“Here what, my doctor?”
“My sequel. Want to discuss this new installment, Garak? I think I like how Greer character evolved in it. I think I may have outdone myself."
“Of course, dear. But I was wondering if you’d like to join me in a holoprogram first. I designed it with us in mind.”
Julian is happy. He may have finally achieved what he intended. It took 30.000 words and one unexpected sequel, but his plan paid off. He’ll play spies again, and maybe seduce his dear lizard with his skills and smoothness. Then he remembers it is Garak he's talking about and gulps. It won’t end well for him, that much is clear.
Still, he smiles and leans closer, putting a hand seductively in Garak’s shoulders.
"A holoprogram, dear Garak?"
“I created it in my spare time. I even made costumes, though I thought we could change inside.”
"How thoughtful of you". Julian doesn't like the sound of that. It is never a good idea to let Garak choose his suits.
Julian is very nervous when they enter the holosuite. Garak inputs his code and it immediately changes to a extravagant ballroom scene.
At least the costumes are not so different from the ones they wore in his own holoprogram, Julian thinks as Garak grabs a fancy tuxedo. He'd really been anxious, because Garak could have made him any sort of embarrassing suits. Then he notices it is a big wide to be his.
“This one is mine. Do you approve of it, dear?”
“So... fancy, Garak. Is there one for me?”
“Oh, yes, over there. I’ll give you some privacy so you can change. I’m not a savage with no manners, you know.”
So much for hope.
He made Julian a prince suit.
And he'd appreciate it in another program, really.
Just not in this.
The fabric is beautiful and the colors too, but he wanted the sleek spy one. Garak looks at him appreciatively when he comes out from the changing room. Really, those sandy colors accentuate his skin color in just the right way.
"Garak, this is not what I described in my story."
"No, but it is what I described in mine. And I think mine had better descriptions, dear."
"Not better, more explicit maybe, but not better."
“You wound me, Julian. You have to admit that Prince Aurelius’ clothes are quite nice, if nothing else.”
“Well, yes but - prince Aurelius is - he is... you know.”
"He is a prince, and I researched extensively about princes on Earth. I think I outdid myself with this, as a matter of fact."
“Yes, but. Well. I - I was supposed to be the spy. I mean. I thought I was writing myself as the spy until I reread it with you.”
"I think they are both spies. What, is this kind of black and white suit a mandatory outfit on your planet?"
“I - well, no. It’s just considered a classic look, for more seasoned, smooth spies.”
"But this is a party, Julian! we should look a bit fancier, don’t you think?"
“I - well. I suppose the outfit does look rather nice on me.”
Julian moves his sweeping skirts and pants back and forth. It is quite a comfortable outfit, despite his initial assessment. Garak may be a bit of a lousy writer, but clearly he is the best tailor he’s ever met. There’s a reason he’s not out of business in the era of the replicators.
Garak touches his sleeves lightly.
"And the color really compliments you. You said prince Aurelius came from a sandy planet after all. Too bad we didn't plan this in advance, I'd rather prefer you with a little beard to finish the look, dear."
Julian rolls his eyes. He’s decided not to let Garak’s flattery get to his head. Not too much, anyway.
"Garak, this is a spies program, not a fashion contest. Can we begin, please? I don’t have the whole day."
“Of course, of course. Here, take my hand and follow me across the room. You’re helping me to capture your own potential assassin, after all.”
"Wait, I thought we'd reenact my story, not yours!"
“Oh dear, I must have gotten confused. We can do a little twitching with the program so we start from the beginning, but I think this scene is more interesting.”
"I won't take part of this until we first play through mine."
And he sits there, on the floor, huffing. It is a bit unbecoming of someone dressed as a prince, but he doesn’t care. He was not even planning to spend his evening doing this in the first place.
“Fine, Fine. We can do yours first. Now I believe prince Aurelius is preparing for the ball?”
"No, the story begins when Aurelius arriving at the station."
Garak gives up. Mostly because he’s suffering from the sight of that beautiful prince suit getting dirty.
“Of course my dear, set the scene.”
Julian smiles and gets up. Garak lets a small sigh of relief. He really hopes the fabric is still clean.
“Well, first I run into your chest, and then I flail a bit and try to explain myself.”
Julian programs full speed while he talks. At least Garak's programming was quite thorough so he won't need to twitch it too much. And he is starting to grow fond of his suit.
The scene suddenly changes to the front of a station.
Julian programs the bag with Aurelius possessions, grabs it and goes for the runabout in which he is supposed to arrive. This is more like what he envisioned when he started writing, but he has no hope to just be allowed to play it as he wants.
Julian, as Aurelius, comes out of his vessel and smiles brightly, looking earnestly around the room because this is one of the first times he’s left his own home planet. Greer smiles a bit too widely and starts sauntering towards him.
Prince Aurelius remembers his training and his mission. He has to be wary of Greer but gain his trust. His planet depends of the success of his mission. He smiles and pretends to ignore him. Greer watches him like a hawk, gaze sharp and too aware.
Aurelius walks right by him and towards a table full of beautiful flowers, running his slender fingers down the petals of crystal blue rose. Let Greer be seduced by his unexpected disinterest.
Greer stalks him, breath hot on his neck. He smiles so widely too many teeth show, though he knows he’ll have to school his expression into something friendlier. That young naive prince may be an easy prey, but that won’t make learning his secrets any less fun.
He comes up behind Aurelius, breath hot and one eye ridge raised. “My dear prince, I’d heard you were arriving today, and I do so love making new friends.”
“I was not aware I had a fan on this station. I'm flattered.”
“I assure you, the honor is all mine.”
Julian struggles to remain in character. He'd forgotten how his own story started. Did he really make them play it this bold? Or is this another unique twist Garak’s added to the story?
Greer slides a hand onto Aurelius’ shoulder and squeezes lightly, making the younger man flush in what seems to be an equal mix of annoyance and interest. Yes, Greer thinks to himself, this will be quite fun.
Julian scowls as he crosses his arms, turning his annoyed gaze from the lovely synthetic flowers in front of him to Garak’s even lovelier blue eyes. Eyes currently annoying the hell out of him.
"This is ridiculous. We can't wear these clothes in this scene, Garak.”
“Why not? You’re a prince, you should be well-dressed at all times.”
"I am a spy. I won't do this if you don't take it seriously.”
Julian huffs and turns his face away from Garak, neck tilted up in what he hopes looks like royal disdain. If he’s going to be a prince, he’s going to take full advantage of it.
“Of course, my dear. How nice to have caught you right after being fit for my suit for the ball.” Garak answers with a painfully polite smile, giving his shoulder another tight squeeze.
Julian lets out an audible groan, shaking his head back and forth in a pained admittance of defeat. Clearly they are not going to play out his version of the story and he is also not going to get to do a backflip while stunning his rival with a phaser.
“Ok, I give up. Let's do the ballroom scene, then. I don't know what I expected from you, Garak."
"Greer. Get into character, dear.” Garak corrects him with a bit of a huff.
Julian rolls his eyes but taps a few more numbers into the program, the promenade fading out and then spreading out back into a large ballroom full of well-dressed courtiers and a staircase that swept up to a ridiculously large balcony. Garak might not have an eye for word choice, but he certainly doea for visuals.
Julian - no, Prince Aurelius - smiles brightly, a certain playful glint coming into his eyes as he twists around so his robes spread out.
“Greer. I’m surprised to find you at our ball, I thought you might have found more ... interesting delights.”
"Well, my prince, what could be more interesting that the party your kingdom is throwing?"
Aurelius smirks at this, wiggling his eyebrows as he leans in so his lips are mere inches away from Greer’s ear. The ambassador has a certain reputation and Aurelius can’t help but want to see how much of it holds true.
“Certain beautiful buildings... or beautiful young women, I imagine. I’ve heard you have a different woman for each city.”
“Luckily, there’s quite a bit of beauty right in front of me”, Greer tells him as he raises an eye ridge, reaching out one hand to pull up Aurelius’ robe from where it had slid down his shoulder. Julian can’t help swallowing tightly as Garak’s hand comes to rest on the side of his neck, rough fingers spreading out across the column of his neck. Staying perfectly in character is proving quite difficult.
Julian gulps a little, but makes a fast recovery. Two can play at this game, and Julian likes to think Aurelius is just as good at it as Greer is.
"Well, I'd like to say the same about you, but sadly, your bow tie is crooked. Let me fix it."
Garak watches with slightly wide eyes as Julian suddenly leans in so they’re even closer, bodies practically pushed up against each other. Julian twists the bowtie so it’s straight, or maybe even a bit crooked in the other direction. Then Julian leaves his hand there, gaze a challenge. For once and against his better judgment, Garak is the one who gulps and is at a loss of word as Julian leans a bit more than what is strictly necessary.
Luckily Garak regains his wits enough to reach his hand up and clasp it over Bashir’s, lacing his fingers between Julian’s own. Julian’s eyes widen a bit, an almost imperceptible flush spreading up his neck.
“Always so thoughtful, my dear prince.”
Julian swallows and raises an eyebrow because this isn’t how any of their stories went. Is Garak trying to improvise? Because Julian was fine following the script. Julian smiles stiffly as he takes a step back, trying to catch his bearings.
"So, my dear Greer, shall we enter the ballroom?"
“We could, or we could continue our discussion of fashion somewhere more ... private.” Garak smiles then in a way that holds far too many possibilities, and Julian decides to give up then and there on truly trying to stay in character. Julian can’t help following Garak’s up the staircase to a dark, but honestly still quite visible, corner. “Say, like the balcony there? I could use some fresh air.”
“Mr. Greer!”
Julian can’t help the way his voice raises half an octave, crossing his arms against his chest tightly. Really, holo-people or not, Julian hardly thinks that level of exhibitionism’s appropriate for the first date. If that’s even what this is. Garak merely smiles placidly, like he hasn’t suggested anything untoward.
"I don't know why you are looking at me like that, prince."
"I think you know. Let's go to the ballroom, we are the honored guests. It would not do to just disappear, don't you think?" Julian mutters in a low voice, trying to put as much warning in it as he can. They can hardly skip the ball that serves as the centerpiece of Garak’s entire sequel.
Garak lets out a low sigh, shaking his head as he takes a few steps toward the ballroom. He stops behind one of the red silk-clothed guards, lips pursed and gaze both disappointed and intrigued.
“You care so much for propriety, dear prince. It really is unbecoming of a man whose position should give away to hedonism.”
“Well, Greer, I live to surprise.”
Julian smiles teasingly and tugs on Garak’s sleeve purposefully, until the other man sighs and slides his arm through his. Julian pulls him into the room and applause erupts everywhere. At first Julian thinks it is simply because he’s a prince here, but then he glances down at his arm and knows better. The way they are clasping arms makes it seems like Greer is his plus one. It’s too late to take it back without an international incident, so Julian smiles stiffly and tries to salvage the situation.
“Well Greer, I fear we’ll have to play the happy couple while we look for our shared enemy. I hope you don’t mind too much.”
Garak smiles brightly with a familiar sparkle to his gaze. His free hand comes up to rest against the back of Julian’s neck.
“Of course not. What man doesn’t dream of sweeping a prince off their feet?”
"Don't dream too much my dear ambassador, we have a killer to catch." Julian reminds him in a tight voice as he leads him toward the dance floor.
He lets go of Garak’s arm just long enough to swoop into a low bow. Garak raises an eye ridge but follows suit, peering up at Julian from the corner of his eye. Then he suddenly pulls Julian in by the waist, swooping him in so they’re suddenly moving across the dance floor at a pace that’d be dizzying if not for his enhanced reflexes.
Of course Garak knows how to dance. Of course.
“Don’t worry, my dear. I rarely lose sight of anything important.” Garak assures him and his gaze grows almost affectionate in that moment. Julian can’t help the fond smile that comes over his face as he leans in, not sure if he’s going to tease Garak or kiss him and -
And then blood is spurting from his fingertips, a sharp pain making him wince as he drops his hand to the side. Julian barely has time to look up before he sees a man slammed against the wall, Garak’s hands around his neck. It seems like this holoprogram is suddenly far more exciting than either of them counted on. Garak holds the assassin in place until a few of the hologuards arrive to carry him off.
Garak lets out a sigh of relief until he looks back to find Julian clutching his left hand, drops of blood sliding down towards his wrist. It would take forever to get those out of the sleeve of his robe. And depending on where he’s been cut, they might not have anywhere close to forever.
"Julian! are you ok?"
“Yes, it is a light cut, but I don't have my medkit." Julian answers with a warm smile, hoping he comes off as confident and restless rather than in pain.
Julian is bleeding more profusely than he expected, but it’s still little more than a flesh wound, and not the kind Mercutio had. He’ll be fine, as long as Garak and all the fancy guards running towards Julian holding swords up stop fussing over him.
“Please, let’s not let a small cut ruin the ball, gentlemen.”
Garak gives him a hard look out of the corner of his eye, wary and just a touch annoyed. Julian tries to wrap his hand up with part of his robe, because they need to focus on how he could be bleeding, not the minor fact of said blood. Garak doesn’t seem to agree, gripping his shoulders tightly, the ridges around his eyes tense.
“Let me see, Julian."
Julian holds his hand up and winces a bit. It’s almost covered in a light sheen of blood at this point.
“It’s really not as bad as it looks.”
“You’re lying. I can tell, you always make that kind of face.” Garak tuts as he takes his hand, shaking his head a bit as he grazes over his fingers until he finds the cut on the side of his thumb. It is not deep, but it is long. Garak takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wraps it around Julian's fingers, stopping the flow of blood but rendering that hand useless right as they’ve gotten themselves into real trouble.
"Now, prince, I'll insist that we go to the balcony for a bit of fresh air." Garak murmurs without losing any of the flirty, casual air of Greer in his stance or voice. But his eyes are tight with worry as he loops his own arm through Julian’s uninjured one.
Julian swallows tightly and glances around the room, wondering just how many of his guests have weapons.
“Yes, ambassador Greer, I think that sounds like a lovely idea.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Julian lets Garak lead them to the balcony and looks around to try and see if there are any more men lurking with weapons. Clearly safeties are off, and if they can't call for the door
something
must be malfunctioning.
“So, my prince, what do you think? Something wrong with the computer? Station under attack?". Garak whispers and looks around, gaze sharp and worried as he surveys the rooms, counting phasers with nearly the same speed as Julian.
"I don't know, but honestly, ambassador, I'm a bit tired of ending up trapped with you on spy holoprograms.” Julian grabs his hand lightly and flinches, because that might have been a bit rude. Julian smiles at Garak crookedly, relieved when the other man merely chuckles lightly.
“Maybe next time we should do something more relaxing. There’d hardly be a problem if we’d gone to one of the many spa programs Jadzia and I both have.”
Garak can't help thinking how nice it would be to go to a relaxing spa with Julian. Just the hot fumes and them, little to no clothing...
Don't go there, old lizard. There's an emergency out there.
“This was your idea! But - my guess would be that it’s the computer programming. In fact - computer, suspend program!”
Nothing happens. Julian tries again with his comm. He touches his insignia, well hidden behind clothing layers, but there's no sound at all. They are on their own.
"No use. I hope there's not a medical emergency out there."
Garak glances at the injured hand, and hopes there will not be emergencies inside either.
“So, what do you suggest now, Julian?”
“I suggest you tell me what you have planned in this program so we can complete it and get out of here.”
"I'm not sure this is the time for that sort of thing, dear.” Garak avoids Julian's eyes, glancing at one of the many guards instead. Their uniform is the same rich crimson as the sheets in the quarters he designed for the end of this program, and he can’t help thinking how much better that color would look wrapped around Julian.
Really, Garak. Stop thinking, you need to get out of this with a bit of dignity left.
"Garak, what the hell did you plan on doing? is it something illegal?"
"Not illegal, just... well, you read my sequel, Julian. You know what happens after the coronation."
Oh yes, Julian read the sequel, and this
really
is not the time for that sort of thing. Just some minutes ago he’d certainly had been looking forward to that scene, but things had changed.
“Oh. Oh. No, no. We can’t - we have to find another way to end the program or disable it then. I can’t believe you actually made
that
scene part of the program!”
“I must admit I may have gotten a little carried away when I programmed this”. Garak smiles apologetically, holding his hand out in a way that manages to be beseeching and a bit smug all at the same time. Julian can’t help taking it with his uninjured one.
Julian flushes at Garak’s and then shakes his head and smiles a little in spite of their situation. Honestly, that seduction would have worked easily on him, under different circumstances.
“Hell of a way to ask me out, Ambassador.”
"I was not expecting this turn of events, prince. It was supposed to be a more relaxed evening."
“I can imagine. So what comes next? Anyone else going to try and kill me? I remember the first assassin, and then I think I catch someone trying to - oh, we can’t drink anything. What a pity.”
Garak rolls his eyes, but there’s a certain regret to his sigh that makes Julian sure he agrees with him. Even holo-wine would be nice right now but they need to be sharp, and they can’t trust anything the holodeck produces at the moment.
"We are supposed to toast for your family and then try to rob your rival's secrets, only to end up trapped in a room with no way out."
Julian rolls his eyes, unable to believe what he’s just hearing. He’d expected at least that would end up out of the program.
"Garak, did you really write yourself getting trapped inside a room?"
"It may have been a lack of hindsight of my part, I'll admit to it."
“How do we get out of the room?” Julian can’t help the slightly cutting edge to his voice, though his annoyance and worry are for Garak rather than with him. How dare the holosuite put them in this situation. He’s it’s best customer! He’ll really have a long chat with Quark after this.
“You climb through a vent to unlock the door from the other side.”
“Why me?”
Garak pats his stomach and gives him a crooked look.
"Oh."
“Yes, oh. I planned this carefully, you know.”
“Did you make sure it was big enough that I would fit?”
Julian doesn’t want to die stuck in a holovent. That would be embarrassing. If anything, being murdered by a holographic character sounds a bit more romantic, even if it is something he’d still prefer to avoid.
"My dear, the whole point of that was looking at your rear, so yes, I made sure."
"How charming. Such delicate wording."
Usually he'd flush or feel smug, but right now he is quite angry, so he merely scowls. He swallows a little, because besides of being angry he’s also afraid. Garak might have a claustrophobic attack the moment he climbs in the vent, and Julian won’t be there to help him. No one will.
“I could be even more explicit if that’s of your liking, my royal companion.”
“Cut that bullshit, Garak. Will you be alright in the room?”
They see a red dress flash close to them, a long, carefully constructed braid swinging back and forth. Garak’s grip on Julian’s arm tightens and Julian tries to swallow down all of his worries.
“I don’t think I’ll have much of a choice.”
Chatter from the other room intensifies the closer they get to their own dining table, and another dance starts without any of the noise ceasing. Garak glances around nervously, and Julian tries to ignore it and focus on looking royal.
"Dear prince, I think we should start the toast."
Julian rolls his eyes but then smiles and catches his arm, preparing his short speech. He smiles a bit too widely as he takes his place in the front of the room, and he squeezes Garak’s arm while he looks out at the holoaudience.They all get silent when they see him standing there.
“My dear citizens, tonight got off to a bit of a cutting start.” A joke Julian thinks is quite clever, even if Garak rolls his eyes so hard he suspects he might have hurt himself. “But I believe the rest of the evening will bring about a new era of peace for our kingdom.”
Everybody raises their glasses for the toast, and suddenly Julian is surrounded by people wanting to grab his uninjured hand and talk to him. Garak starts feeling paranoid, glaring sharper and sharper daggers at each new person who comes near them. Julian does his best to try and comfort him, squeezing his hand every so often.
“We don’t need to worry yet. Not until my rival approaches us.”
"I don't need to remind you, my prince, that you just got hurt." Garak’s voice is tight, gaze dropping to where his handkerchief is still tied around Julian’s fingers. It’s bloodstained. So much for not that bad.
"Smile and play along, Greer. We have a vent to climb."
Garak bites back many retorts and smiles until he sees the rival approaching, her crimson skirts swirling across the floor in a way that’s almost hypnotizing. Julian’s eyes suddenly open widely.
“Oh god, I just remembered. You have to flirt with her. Garak. Be smooth.”
"Me? I don't want to flirt with her!"
As if you had not been the one who wrote the chapter and put that bit only to make Julian jealous, stupid reptile
.
"I thought you were a seasoned spy that would do anything for a mission.”
Garak is in full pouty lizard mode.
“That doesn’t mean I’m in the mood to do just that, prince.”
“She’s not going to flirt with me, she wants to usurp my family’s throne. I need to go hide in the room we’re going to end up locked in, and you need to lead her there and try to convince her to tell you her secrets, so she can discover me and lock us in.”
Julian is in full pouty human mode.
A pout war.
They are locked in fight.
Neither wants to move.
"This afternoon is clearly not going as I expected, dear."
Julian finally gets fed up with the nonsense.
"You expect me to crawl through a pipe so you can watch me, so you better go seduce that harpy and get this over with, Garak, is that clear?"
Julian wins the pout war with that. Garak leaves his side with a sigh and goes to seduce her. He’s never been into andorian women anyway, so why did he have to program her blue?
Julian shakes his head at Garak’s reluctant attempts to spark conversation with her, and when he finally finishes greeting guests he sneaks through the back door and finds himself in the hallway in front of the mystery room instead of in the balcony.
So, not only safeties are off, the program is bugging. Bad sign. He wonders if they may have tampered with the program a bit too much and managed to break it. It is better than the alternative, that they are trapped while the station is at risk.
Garak makes a small bow in front of the giggling woman. They have been chatting for over 5 minutes and he can’t believe how vain he programmed her to be.
“I just say, I can understand why you have so much support. You are quite lovely.”
Garak knows how to seduce someone. Once he stops pouting, he is really efficient. She is falling for him, or so he thinks.
“You clearly have a silver tongue too, mister ambassador.”
“Darling, don’t you think we should continue this conversation somewhere more intimate? I could tell you all about that silver tongue of mine.”
Julian can't believe, from his hiding place, how shameless Garak is being. He has to remind himself this is the only way to get out. Next time he hopes at least the walls will be thicker so he won’t have to listen.
No, better yet, let’s not have a next time. I won’t let him choose programs ever again.
They enter the room and Julian hides behind some boxes, still listening to them talk. Suddenly the holographic woman smiles and leaves the room in a hurry, trapping them earlier than it was supposed to happen. If Julian remembers right, Greer was supposed to convince her to give him several secrets first.
"So, nice program you have here, dear Greer", Julian is almost spiteful. "You happen to know any way out of here?"
Garak smiles and makes a gesture signaling the walls. He doesn’t even try to get the door to open.
“Now, now, Aurelius, you know the vent is still right there. Get moving.”
“I can’t believe you. Here, help me find the vent.”
Of course. Everything is failing, the safeties are off, the station could very well be in danger, and yet, still the vent will be there to make Garak happy. Julian rolls his eyes and walks towards it with a sigh, taking off his fancy coat, because he supposes that will get in the way. Garak hurries to his side, fearing Julian will just toss it to the floor.
"My dear prince, please hand me that. It wouldn't do to stain your clothes."
Julian stares at him with a blank expression. Any other time he’d get angry or laugh, but now he just feels so tired.
“Of course. I take it you plan to have us do another adventure with these outfits then?”
"I just spent too much money on that silk", Garak mutters under his breath.
Julian feels himself soften a bit. He had not realized just how much effort Garak had put into this program.
“Next time you should replicate it instead. I’m not worth wasting your hard earned latinum on.”
"It is not the same when you replicate it, Julian. It feel cheaper."
Julian rolls his eyes but still smiles a little at Garak. He grabs onto the bottom of the vent and tries to pull himself up. Then he tries to climb, but to no avail. It’s too high for him to reach it.
Really. Was Garak planning on watching his rear or touching it? Because there's no way he'll push himself into it alone. Julian doesn’t need to turn around to know he’ll find a smile on his face.
"Need help, my dear prince?"
“You know you’re going to have to make this up to me, Greer.”
"You know making up was sort of the point of this whole program", Garak mutters again. As if his enhanced ears would not be able to catch the words.
"This is the last time I'll spend holotime with you, Garak."
“Dear, I think you’ll change your mind when you see some of the others programs I’ve developed. So relaxing, yet so detailed. Just how you like things.”
“I’ll consider it if you hurry up and push me into this vent.”
And Garak is so glad to be able to help him. Julian usually would be thrilled but he is far too annoyed. Really, a vent? Did Garak really believe he needed that kind of excuse to lay his hands on him? He could have just asked.
"Please hurry and stop inspecting the merchandise, Greer?"
Garak pushes him lightly, and even though he is still annoyed, Julian makes sure to remember how it felt, so he can think about it when he is not wanting that badly to push Garak through an airlock.
“I’m sorry, dear, it’s just so rare to see it so nicely encased instead of in those horrid jumpsuits.”
Garak lifts him but it still is not enough. Is he doing it on purpose? One glance down confirms that yes, he is doing it on purpose. Julian gives up, and just smiles slyly.
“Hurry up and I’ll start wearing skants just for you.”
"You know I will remember you said that."
Are his hands moving...? Oh, yes, they are. Julian sighs. This seems to be taking forever.
"Will you please hurry up, Greer?"
“Of course, dear.” And he lifts him up this time enough so that Julian can grab the sides of the vent and start crawling away.
Garak had been waiting for that scene for quite a long time and he feels cheated now. Really? Does the holosuite always fail when they are both in it? Quark will have to give him a lot of explanations.
“Wish me luck, Greer. Either we’re free in a few minutes or we live out our days as Ambassador and prince.”
Julian crawls through the tiny space until he reaches the other side. He makes sure there's nobody around first, remembering all of Garak's training. He is not alone. Guards. He doesn't dare going down.
Meanwhile, Garak starts to realize the room is small.
So small.
The walls are so close, and now he has nothing to keep him distracted.
Not even the memory of Julian's rear keeps that sensation at bay. It is indeed a nice memory, but he still feels the walls so close.
Julian glances down around the corridor and waits to try and find the best moment to get down. He swallows tightly because he knows Garak is probably not doing well.
One guard. Red uniform. That one is not one of his.
Two, they’re talking now. He can’t go down.
Garak is trying to take deep breaths and remember the things that Ezri and Julian have told him about breathing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Calm down, Garak. Remember Julian’s rear.
Inhale.
Exhale.
The guards finally go out and Julian is able to climb out of the vent. He works fast on the door, not knowing how Garak will be when he gets in. He can’t believe he had such little hindsight to make a program in which he’ll end up trapped in a small room.
Is the man a masochist or what? No, I really don’t want the answer to that question.
He undoes the code with a speed he usually reserves for the Defiant.
Garak is in a corner, trying to remember to breathe. His eyes are glassy. He looks at Julian and smiles weakly. He hands Julian the coat he’d been clutching.
"Really, my dear prince, next time I won't get into a spies program with you."
“No, I think we should keep our spy games to you breaking into my quarters. Let’s go, Greer.”
Garak doesn't get up. He is still on the floor breathing raggedly. Julian kneels down next to him and smiles softly as his eyes well with concern.
“Here, breath with me. That’s right, you’ve got this. Take all the time you need.”
Garak finally stabilizes and looks apologetically at him.
“I apologize for this. It is mostly unbecoming of me.”
"The only thing you should apologize for is that vent scene. Can you get up now?"
“Yes, I think so dear. We’re towards the end of it, at least.”
"The programming is so messed up I'm not sure reaching it will really free us. Here, take my hand".
Julian offers him his unharmed one, and Garak takes it, letting him lead them down the hallway. Julian swallows tightly as they reach the end. He squeezes Garak’s hand.
“Now what?”
"Now we were supposed to prevent your rival from staging a coup and seizing power, Julian."
"Oh yes, I remember your 30 pages monologue about protecting the State."
Garak smiles proudly at that.
"My masterpiece."
"And how do you suggest we do that?"
"I could shoot her." Garak shrugs without letting go of Julian’s hand.
"Nice and simple. Not your style at all, Garak."
"Any ideas then, dear?"
"No, no, I'm not objecting. Shoot her so we can get out of here."
"you don't happen to have any weapons, do you dear?"
"You are the one that tailored this thing without pockets!"
"A minor error, but here, I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way and pickpocket that guard by the wall. Go distract him."
They glance at him. His uniform is red. Julian is getting really tired of that color.
"He’s not one of mine, so he may try to kill me. Cover my back."
Julian gets closer to the guard and Garak walks by the wall, making sure not to break visual contact. Julian smiles his brightest smile and starts talking, looking seductive and dumbfounded at the same time.
The guard looks at him suspiciously but soon Julian’s dramatic attempts at being seductive start catching his interest. Julian even pulls at his sleeve to reveal a bit more of his chest.
“Is it me, or it is getting hotter in here?”
Garak bites his lip to keep from just jumping into action.
The guard is chatting amicably and glances at the now exposed skin, but his hand never leaves the sheath of his phaser. Garak gets closer in slow motions and makes a gesture for Julian to keep the guard distracted a bit longer. He just can't think anything else to talk with the guard to keep him from looking at his back.
So Julian suddenly leans in and kisses him as dramatically as possible, long and passionately.
Garak wants to snap the guard's neck but resists temptation, instead grabbing the phaser and giving him a sharp hit in the base of the neck to disable him. He looks at Julian with an incredulous expression.
"Really, prince? Really?"
"I had to improvise."
"And that's the best you could come up with?"
"There's a reason I script mine, you know."
So now they only have to stop a coup d'etat, catch some loose killers, assist to prince Aurelius’ coronation, and stop an invading alien force. Almost nothing left to end the program.
And they don't have time on their side.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They enter the ballroom and Garak, true to his promise, just shoots prince Aurelius’ rival from behind.
“There. Done. Now go get crowned, do a nice speech, get a round of applauses, and then we can fight the invasion and end up in my quarters to...
celebrate
, my dear.”
“You are such a romantic lizard”. Julian rolls his eyes.
“I know I am. And you won’t be complaining after the celebration. I’m sure you won’t have any questions about cardassian intimacy after that.”
Julian takes a deep breath. They’re at the end of the program, and maybe since the whole escape from the vent ordeal went smoothly, so will everything else. All he has to do is make a speech and look pretty. He can do that in his sleep.
Julian enters the room and throws his arms out, letting his cape brush against Garak’s face. Julian glances around the holoaudience and smiles brightly, sweeping his arms forward this time in what he hopes is a princely manner.
"I have come back to serve the State and protect it from all evil-doers. And then some more stuff about my life being for the State, and, oh look! It's time for my coronation."
Julian sits down to loud applause - save, from Garak, who still stands next to him with a wounded look on his face.
"That isn't what I wrote."
"Well, I don't approve of shooting people from behind and yet here we are. And at this point, I really don’t care about staying on character,
Greer.
”
Garak lets out a low huff but takes the seat next to him, reaching over to carefully adjust his robe where it has slid off of his shoulder, letting his fingers stay there a bit more than necessary. Now they only have to wait for the invasion, win, go celebrate, and they’ll be free.
Except that the invasion doesn't come.
So they wait.
And wait.
And still the invasion doesn’t come.
And they can’t ask the computer for the time because it’s not working, but it seems they have been waiting for a long time already.
So they’re both just kind of sitting there awkwardly in the throne room, listening to inane chatter about clothes and the State. Julian raises an eyebrow at Garak, because couldn’t he have at least thought of something
interesting
for them to talk about?
Garak clears his throat suddenly, gazing reproachfully at the wall, as though to shame it for not sending an invasion to kill them.
"Well, my dear king, it seems we've hit a new snag."
Julian jumps a little. He’d almost fallen asleep. He stirrs and smiles at Garak, leaning a bit closer than it would be proper for a newly crowned noble. The holo characters continue talking without looking at him. They look more and more like broken puppets.
"You know, my dear ambassador, I'm feeling hungry. You don't happen to have anything I could eat while we wait, do you?"
Julian tries to make his voice subtly sexy, just a hint of desire in the twist of his hand as he slides it over Garak’s. They don’t want to scandalise the holoprograms, after all. On the other hand, what if they scandalise them? He is more than bored at this point anyway.
"Were you thinking of something ... rich, my dear? Perhaps some delavian chocolates? I keep them in my quarters."
Julian can’t believe he used to regard Garak as smooth for so many years.
"Do you, now?"
Julian asks in a slightly more heated voice than before. If the only way to end this holoprogram was reenacting his quite explicit descriptions of their final encounter, then...
That
is
how Julian hoped he and Garak might be spending the night anyway, if not quite the way he hoped they’d get there. Still, it is what it is, and he’s not going to let a trifle like their impending deaths completely ruin their first date. Besides, maybe the program will end anyway after that, even if the invasion is missing.
Julian gets up and does a little bow.
“Lead the way, ambassador.”
They end up in a heavily curtained guest chamber, a giant bed with layers of red hanging, and white silk sheets in the center. The only way Garak could be more obvious was if he’d also covered the bed with rose petals. Julian rolls his eyes.
"You are really subtle when you want it, Garak."
"Clearly I was not expecting the computer to malfunction, doctor. At this point of the story you should really be unable to think about minutiae like this.”
"I won't even comment on that."
"Fair enough."
Julian sits on the other side of the bed and starts undoing the front of his shirt. Garak looks at him curiously, and his breath catches when the shirt is finally open. Julian leans on the bed and smiles.
"Here, Ambassador Greer, ravish me."
It is now Garak’s turn to roll his eyes.
"So romantic, dear king. So subtle. Really, such finesse and seductiveness. I am flattered beyond words."
"I am bored, I am hungry, and I want out of this program. Honestly, I don't care too much at this point."
“Don’t you, now?”
“Do what you need to do, ambassador.”
“Oh, and what is that, exactly? I’d like you to explain it to me.”
Garak can recognize a flirty cardassian banter when it is in front of him, and he closes the distance, hovering over Julian and smiling, but still not touching him.
“For someone who regards himself as sly and subtle, you were quite straightforward with this. Really, red velvet? Don’t you want to put a neon sign over the bed as well, Greer?”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, your royal highness?” Julian’s breath hitches in his throat. Garak is so close now he can feel his breath was over his cheek. "Think of it as one last kiss before we die."
"If you don't hurry up and kiss me, it will be, Garak."
And so Garak positions himself over Julian, smiling in an almost menacing way, and then he kisses him, soft and sweet as he grabs his face. Julian lets out a sigh and pulls Garak closer to him, fussing with his suit coat. Garak helps him with it, without breaking contact. Next comes out Julian’s shirt, that ends up tossed as far as possible.
Julian idly wonders if their luck will be so bad that somebody will rescue them at that moment, because for all his teasing and angry attitude, he is quite happy with how things are developing. He’d been waiting for this part of the program for hours and like hell he’ll let the chance pass. He bites a scale and feels proud when he is rewarded with a small sound and a hand getting into his pants. He decides to test if nibbling another scale will elicit the same sound. Yes, it does.
But then, the invasion starts right when he is fussing with Garak's pants.
Obviously.
Of course. Just when things were finally looking up.
They slide to their feet, flushed and annoyed, and Garak holds out his phaser and tells Julian to get behind him.
So there they are, Garak dressed only with a bowtie and half opened pants, and Julian shirtless facing down an alien army. Julian’s shirt is nowhere to be seen.
Of course the aliens would wait until they reached that point.
Julian sighs, and resigns himself to not finding it.
"I'm starting to think this is all a big practical joke Jadzia is pulling on us."
Julian groans and goes through Greer's drawers, relieved to find another phaser and a shirt that's about two sizes too big for him. Both will do for now. He goes back to Garak’s side and hands him his suit shirt. At least that one had not been tossed so far.
They hear the noises from the other side of the door intensify, and the banging tell them it won’t be long until it breaks and the invading force gets in.
"I'll take the left, you take the right. How many aliens do we have to shoot to satisfy your program?"
Garak looks at him with disgust.
"My dear, that shirt is awful. It clashes with your pants."
"Is this really the moment to think about that?"
"It is always the moment."
"I'll change once we're free from this program. Now hurry up and shoot."
The door finally give in and the holographic aliens enter, shouting and shooting. Julian goes into full mission mode, and luckily - or really, unluckily - Deep Space 9 has been invaded enough times to make him a quick shot.
They shoot but they are too many and soon they are overpowered, so they use a secret door to flee the room. Julian doesn’t even want to ask why Garak programed his own room to have a secret exit at this point.
They run until they are sure no one is following them, and lean against the wall, panting.
“Next time, we should really go to my spa program, dear.”
And suddenly Julian grabs Garak by the hips and kisses him, sloppy and desperate, pressing his fingers hard against his cheeks, pinching neck scales, getting them under the already unbuttoned shirt. If he's going to die in a holoprogram, he's going down doing something he wants. Prophets know he’s been teased enough for one day.
Garak doesn't waste a second thinking about his sudden change of attitude. He presses him against the wall, but then thinks it better and backs away, taking off that horrible shirt before pressing him back.
Julian breaks the kiss and looks at him with a flat expression.
“Really.”
"Sorry, dear, I just couldn't stand it. You can’t mix magenta and cream beige like that."
"Fair enough, and while I admittedly quite like this jacket, I think you could do without it."
“I am already half out of it, anyway.”
And Garak shrugs it off while Julian undoes his pants while still trying to keep kissing him.
It may not be how Garak described it in his story, but while he removes his pants, he is sure he won't complain about it either. He is good at improvising, anyway.
Julian is still kissing him as Garak slides his beige pants down, and Julian really has to compliment him for the lack of buttons or zippers.
They part momentarily and look at each other, breathless.
"I think we got ourselves in a bit of a situation, ambassador."
"Seems like it, yes."
"We should probably works towards solving it, don't you think?"
"Oh, I can't think of anything better. Now, where should we start?"
Garak presses Julian against the wall and kisses him behind the ear. Julian gasps a little before remembering how to talk.
"You promised earlier to teach me about scales, but I prefer a hands on approach."
And he touches lightly Garak's neck, pinching a scale that had elicited a moan earlier in the room. Same response, definitively a good spot.
"I think we could arrange something about that, my dear. And I can educate myself further on human anatomy."
Garak slides a hand to Julian’s hip and presses.
"Seems like a good idea, ambassador. You seem to be up for a good start already, anyway."
Julian starts biting scales lightly, and idly wonders if Garak will let them use the discarded prince robe as a bed. The floor looks cold after all.
Garak slides a hand to Julian's upper back, and slides them down lower and lower, taking in the smoothness of Julian's skin and sharp angles of his spine. Julian pulls him back for a kiss and notices Garak doesn't complain about his hands tangling all his carefully styled hair. Garak is now resting over the clothes pile.
Julian feels a little smug at that as Garak runs his hands down to rest on his hips. Yes, definitely he won't care about the fabric. At least not for a couple hours. Julian pushes Garak down and hovers over him with a smug smile, one that changes into a shocked face as Garak’s hands work they way down his back and he squeezes hard at his rear.
“You know, dear, I’ve been thinking about that part of your anatomy since that vent incident.”
“I’m sure you have.”
And then...
Gunfire close to them. Figures.
Julian sighs, annoyed. Is this a joke or what? He just wants to make out with his reptile and the holodeck keeps interrupting him.
At least it is not chief O'brien freeing two very naked men from a malfunctioning holodeck. That would be quite awkward to explain.
Julian reaches for his phaser with a low groan, holding it out and about to shoot the alien closest to him.
That's when the room starts to flicker and Julian is very worried. Definitively, there is a big chance whoever is trying to free them will have quite a clear idea of what they’ve been doing.
Garak is worried too, and hands him his pants without saying a word, while he slides into his as fast as he can. He doesn't want to be freed by O'Brien in that kind of undressing state either. He is a proper lizard after all.
Julian puts his shirt while Garak looks around the corner for the invading forces.
"Hello, Engineering crew? Or maybe Jadzia? We are here!"
No response.
They finish dressing and run through the corridors, knowing there must be another secret door.
"Garak, next time we do an uninhabited island, is that clear?'
"Next time I won't let you leave my quarters, dear."
Julian walks out with his phaser still held out until they find the other door, and he swings it open dramatically, pressing his gun right into Miles' face, who looks beyond tired and very annoyed.
Miles looks at them and raises an eyebrow.
Clothes dirty.
Julian's hand bloody and with a bandage.
Both of them half dressed.
Garak’s hair in disarray.
Both quite flushed and with obvious signs in their pants of having being interrupted.
"I don't even want to know what you were doing there while we tried to get the holosuites to work again".
“Good, because I’d prefer not to comment on that at the moment.” Julian is flushed.
Miles calls for a door and they exit the suite, guns disappearing immediately.
Julian lets out a laugh and glances at Garak with one eyebrow raised.
"After we get checked out on the infirmary, I suggest we continue that last part of the game somewhere quiet. Like your quarters."
“Good idea, your royal highness. I have chocolates in them, after all.”
Fade to Black/End ~