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There was a bang and then R2D2’s photoreceptor was blinded by a flash of light that elicited an electronic squeal as he was thrown from the navigation data port. The escape pod had crashed.Thankfully, he had been thrown against the wall, not onto his back, or his mission would already be forfeit. Testing his legs and their traction on the cockpit floor, he felt the metal of the pod protest as it settled further into the crater its impact had formed.Slowly, he rolled back to the computer, downloading all the topographical data that had been accumulated by the sensors prior to the crash. He was on an uncharted planet, not promising, and he let out a little beeping moan as he wondered how he was going to complete his journey. Spinning his dome around, he twittered a few encouragements to himself, and tried to send a distress call to Coruscant. Threepio was pretty useless with a comm, but there was a chance one of Leia’s staff would notice his message, if the ship’s transmitter was still strong enough to reach that system. Artoo considered, sifting and sorting through his informational banks, and finally concluded that his best chance to escape would be to summon rescue. The pod obviously wasn’t going to fly anywhere. Even if it had been able to function normally, its nature made it impossible to launch from the ground.Annoyed, the little droid let loose a stream of digital profanity, taking advantage of the fact that no one was there to pretend shock at his fury. Fortified by his curses, he rolled over to the door and opened it, looking carefully down at the uneven cant of the short ramp. He would have to go slowly, and use his mag clamps, but he should be able to stay upright.Sighing with a whistle, Artoo made sure he was fully powered up and then started rolling down the incline. The earth was grassy, and he’d have to pay attention. Luke wasn’t here to Force lift him over obstacles. The thought of his companion made Artoo indulge in a moment of self-pity, and he whirred, replaying some of Luke’s words from his memory banks to encourage himself.
I’m sure it’s perfectly safe for droids.
Artoo beeped affirmatively and started into the grass.He hadn’t gone very far when his sensors picked up a lifeform. It was so bizarre, one he couldn’t identify and his processors were struggling to compute. Steel…and electric…but not a droid. Definitely a lifeform. Artoo silenced his worried whistle before it escaped him, slowing his rolling into the high grass. And then he saw it…or rather, them, flying towards him. The largest entity looked strangely like a small ship, a saucer or bowl that had U-shaped magnets hanging off its sides. But it seemed sentient, and Artoo backed up slightly at the sight. It was flanked on the left by one smaller saucer with two of the U-shapes on either side, and a set of three connected saucers on the right. A family of metal and magnets.
The creatures advanced threateningly on Artoo, and the droid opened his electric-prod portal, ready to launch a shock if necessary.“Magnezone…zone…mag mag…” It was a completely unintelligible drone coming from the large central creature, and Artoo tried to whistle a greeting back at it. The smallest of the trio then flew straight in front of Artoo, electricity crackling around the magnets on its sides. It buzzed angrily and Artoo was at a loss. These things weren’t droids, as he clearly couldn’t communicate with them. But according to his sensors, they were made of the same stuff he was…Suddenly a bolt of lightning lanced into him, and Artoo realized the creature had attacked. It hurt, and he let loose a stream of furious sounds as he returned the favor, sending a jolt from his own electric prod towards the small creature that had attacked. The saucer/magnet absorbed the electricity and seemed completely unaffected. Great. Artoo knew when strategic retreat was the order of the day, and so he continued rolling backwards, wondering how he could go around this gang to find someone or something helpful.As he rolled, he let out a sad moan, then was mad at himself for sounding defeated in front of his enemies. They didn’t seem to be following, apparently territorial. Spinning and redirecting himself, Artoo let out an electronic sigh as he started in the opposite direction from the downed escape pod. But he hadn’t gotten far when he saw the high grass shaking and sensed another lifeform. This was more familiar, however, his databanks suggesting similarities to sand rats. Careful to keep his prod extended, Artoo whistled loudly to try to scare away any of the animals lurking in his path, and was surprised when instead of fleeing, black and yellow ears popped above the grass right in front of him, followed by a yellow face with red cheeks. The cheeks of the rat looked like they were powered, threads of current dancing on the surface.“Pika.”The sound was high-pitched, a squeal not unlike a droid, actually, and Artoo found he preferred it to the metallic drone of the other inhabitants of this planet. He tried to imitate the sound with his acoustic capabilities.“Pika pika pi.”The rat hopped towards him, and the electricity that had been flitting across the animal’s cheeks seemed to have disappeared.Artoo spun his head towards his ship, trying to explain the pod was damaged, then back towards the rat. His sensors were telling him this was a language, and not for the first time on this trip Artoo missed Threepio, although he would never have admitted it to the golden protocol droid. He was sure that the polyglot would have figured out this language already.The rat hopped closer, and Artoo tried to stay calm, ready in case of threat. But the creature seemed friendly, balancing on its long, flat tail, and resting a little paw on Artoo’s chassis.“Pikachu.”Its voice was reassuring, and Artoo decided he would trust it for the moment. He pulled the prod back into his body, and played back the creature’s tri-syllabic word from his memory banks, hoping he was returning a greeting.He was rewarded with a little pat from the paw against him, and then a flood of chattering that he couldn’t even begin to interpret. Maybe he should have paid more attention to some of the six million forms of communication out there, but nothing he could do right now, unfortunately. When the sound stopped, Artoo tried to communicate his predicament. He whistled, beeped, and whirred, trying to tell his story efficiently, asking for assistance, mechanics or ships or comms equipment. He didn’t really expect anything to come of it, so he wasn’t surprised when the electric rat, as he’d started to think of it, bounded across the meadow towards the metallic gang that had attacked him earlier. Dejected at his failure to communicate, Artoo beeped sadly and started again along the opposite path.“PIKA PIKA PIKACHUUUU!”The sound was piercing, and Artoo spun his head around to see the rat waving encouragingly at him. It was trying to get him to come over to the magnet things. Artoo let out a stream of curses, refusing, trying to tell the rat where those fake flying not-droids could stick their electrical jolts.But the rat wasn’t having any of it, and started jabbering at the gang, apparently in heated conversation. Intrigued despite the danger, Artoo waited, wondering what was happening. A few minutes later, the rat hopped back to him, with what looked like a smile on its face. And floating in its wake, the three bullies.“Pikachuuu. Pika pi.”Artoo waited, unable to make any sense of this, but starting to think that perhaps he wasn’t wasting his time with this tiny yellow diplomat.His confidence was rewarded when the big saucer flew in front of him, for all the world giving off an apologetic air.“Magnezone. Mag mag.”Hmph. Artoo stood up a bit, sliding his middle leg in to make himself look a little taller, and let out a few beeps and whistles to acknowledge the creature’s fault in the matter.Seemingly satisfied, the electric rat indicated something to the metal saucer thing, and Artoo was stunned when all of sudden he heard the unmistakable sound of mixed and ancient galactic comms filter out the center of the thing like a speaker, a variety of Rebel, Empire, smuggler, and New Republic ships.“Mayday, mayday! This is Star Destroyer Majestic…This is … base! All the scopes are dead! Systems failing, we need immediate support…All fighters follow me!”The memory banks of the creature must be vast, as it seemed to save mundane comms as well, and Artoo listened to them as they filtered through, trying to determine how he could use this talent to help his situation. The voices continued.“Hang on, this isn’t the sector we charted…Turn back…the hyperdrive’s broken…Karrde is going to have your neck….Dump the spice before they board us!...Set a course for Coruscant.”At the name of Threepio’s home, Artoo started wobbling back and forth on his legs, squealing an urgent message to the group. That is where he needs to go. He has to reach them, they can come find him.“Set a course for Coruscant. Set a course for Coruscant.”His beeps confirmed that was the important part of the message. The yellow rat nodded, satisfied, and jabbered at him some more. Artoo really didn’t understand much, but he decided they were trying to help. How to tell them? He beeped and whirred again, and once again was surprised when the rat patted his side and interpreted for the metallic creature. The next noise that escaped the magnezone, as Artoo started to think of it, was even more surprising.“Basic?”Artoo beeped.“Basic? Basic?”Artoo beeped again.The pikas and the chus started again in earnest as the rat chattered at length to its metal friends. Finally after what seemed like forever, words came, droning and stilted.“Transmit. Signals. Give. Transmit. Signals. Coruscant.”An electronic whoosh of relief from the droid. This creature, whatever it was, could get a message through. He beeped his understanding to the interpreter rat and waited for the magnezone to signal its readiness. The creature came almost too close to Artoo’s personal space, and the little droid whistled a low warning and backed up, but the magnezone hovered right before him, waiting.“Magnezone.”“Pikachu.”Artoo beeped once, deciding he’d just been given the green light, and started his message, sending a transmission coded to Councilor Leia Organa Solo personally with his location (as best he could figure it) and situation, requesting extraction with an SOS attached.To be certain, he repeated the message twice, and then spun his dome twice to indicate he had finished.The magnet creature flew high in the sky, lifting rapidly above the clouds, and Artoo whistled, impressed. He hoped the message would be received. The little paw on his foot bought his attention back to the ground.“Pika pi, Pikachu.”The rat sounded happy, and Artoo communicated his gratitude electronically, somehow sure it had been received. The paw patted him again, and then the rat lay down in the grass and started scratching behind its black-tipped ear. Apparently they were waiting.Artoo set himself to low-power mode and sighed. Either it would work or it wouldn’t.Artoo’s circuits and power cells ran automatic checks as he rested, until several hours later, he was tapped once again by the rat and woke himself up. The magnezone was descending from the stratosphere. It once again hovered before Artoo’s domed head, and the droid chirped in excitement as he heard Luke’s warm voice filtered by the thing’s metal drone.“Viridian System? What have you gotten yourself into, Artoo? Stay put and be careful, I’m on my way.”Artoo spun his whole body around three times in joy and whistled a profusion of thanks at his new friends. They seemed to share in his delight, doing loops and twirls in the air while the little rat actually ran circles around Artoo yelling its three syllables happily. They were an odd group, but the droid had never been so glad for wrong first impressions. As he watched the yellow interpreter rat celebrate, Artoo promised himself to ask the other yellow interpreter in his life about learning a few languages the next chance he got. He’d be home soon.