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Harry was sitting on the counter in his best friends' kitchen, looking down at Hermione with a smile. She was seated at the table, wand in one hand and a sturdy looking children’s jacket in the other.“I don't get it. He's managed to rip another jacket apart, I don't know how he does it.” Hermione sighed. “Sometimes it feels like we have five kids and not two.”A small laughter emerged from Harry. “And he's only ten years old. You and Ron just wait until he's in his teens, that's where the real fun begins.”Hermione pushed her hair away from her face and looked up at him. “Talking about that, weren't the kids supposed to be with you today?”“Yeah, but they managed to escape. James had a very undefined 'friend' to meet, at an undefined place and with a very undefined plan for the day. Something tells me this 'friend' is a female person.”An amused look was sent his way. “Or a male.”“I suppose.” Harry pursed his lips and looked down in the floor. “But I don't think so. I think I should have known that. And anyway, I'm his father, don't you think he would have told me?”The amused look turned into a laugh. “You honestly believe that your teenage son would like to discuss his sexuality with you?”“Well, he knows I wouldn't judge him. Anyway, I don't think so. I would have picked something up by now in that case. I know that he spend a good amount more time with his mother than with me, but I do know him.” He made a helpless shrug. “It might not show all the time, but he's far too much like me.” There's a pause. “Well, the way I would have been if I didn't...”“I know.” Hermione's voice was very soft. “If it hadn't been for that 'saving the world'-thing that got forced upon you.” She put a hand on his knee. “But your children will grow up in a world without war. Our children will have a childhood where the big troubles in life will be of a healthier kind.” A smile suddenly twitched in the corner of  her mouth. “But talking about being alike... what did you two think when giving him both of those names? You couldn't see this happen?” She laughed at Harry's rolled eyes. “Sometimes it does seem like he's just like both of his namesakes at once.” There's another laugh. “Imagine our charming Walburga Black getting a note like the one about the toad invasion in the greenhouse, I would have liked to see that.”Harry sighed but there's a small smile. “Yeah, I guess that two weeks of replanting herbs is a bit healthier than fighting a man with two faces.”“Yes, it definitely is.” Her eyes went to the door, where the laughter from the two girls outside floated in. She smiled a bit of a sad, but still warm smile. “Our children will be allowed to be children.” With a slight shake of her head, she turned back to Harry. “So, what about the other two?”“The Notts were going to Diagon Alley, and suggested that their son should bring his friend as company. Seeing how the snow has stopped I think they're having a really nice day.”Hermione put down the jacket, and a flash of seriousness crossed her face. “And Lily?”“Yeah...” He looked out the window for some time. “Ginny had talked to her, over and over again, and finally the bag was packed and she was ready to make the boys company. But when it was time to leave she just refused. When we tried to reason with her she just started to scream.” Harry put a tired hand over his face. “When I find out who has been teaching my daughter those things... 'Traitor' was the nicest thing she said.”There's a deep sigh followed by another shaking of the bushy head. “I don't understand, this came so fast. She's been handling your divorce and everything around it well so far. It was a relatively long time ago after all. And then, suddenly, this.”Harry scratched his chin. “Well...” He sighed, “James is a born leader. People listen to him if he wants them to, people follow him. And Albus... He's a clever kid, and even though he's not always like everybody else, when he has made his decisions he's sure of his way. But Lily is different. She desperately wants to be like everybody else, to be normal. She hates being 'the great Harry Potter''s daughter. To be singled out, like she's different from the other kids. And normal means a happy family with a father and a mother and a couple of happy kids. The parents go to their normal jobs and on Sunday it they have roast dinner'. Just like everyone else. I guess she's in a sensitive phase right now, and everything just gets too much. And then she needs someone to blame.”“But that's kind of failed from the beginning. I'm sorry to say it, but you’ve never been normal.” The jacket got thrown aside on the table. “And it's really not fair, it wasn't you...”“I know, I know. But it doesn't really matters any more. It was over long before that, and we both knew it. But that's hard to explain to a child. Especially a child who doesn't want to hear it.” He followed the edge of the counter with a finger. “We decided to make a another try next week. I really hope it works, Ginny blames herself and takes it pretty hard. And I... I miss my daughter.”With a small smile Hermione reaches out and takes his hand. “It will work itself out, just give it some time. She still loves you, it will just take her some time to realize that that's the most important thing here.”The excited voices of two girls could be heard through the door, and both of them turned around when they entered the kitchen. Rose looked uncharacteristically flushed and giggly, and her just as giggly friend instantly locked her eyes on Harry.“Harry, Harry, you have to listen to this!”He studied the eleven years old girl, and the obvious satisfaction with which she said his name. To be on first name basis with him meant a lot to her, being a Muggleborn she had read everything she could find about him to compensate. She definitely saw him as a great hero, if not a demigod. He smiled to himself, what was the odds? The muggle friend Hermione had as a kid, but broken with when her life at Hogwarts begun, turned out to have a witch daughter in the same age as Hermione's. The reunion had been sweet, and seeing how their daughters grew to be very close to each other, the two women had tentatively started to pick up their childhood friendship and given it a second chance.“Honestly, Harry, this is amazing! You've got to hear it!”With a concealed laugh Harry jumped down from the counter and reached out for the headphones the girl held out for him. He nodded to the girl who started the audio he was supposed to listen to. Some kind of happy electronic pop music reached his ears.Is this a riot or are you just pleased to see me? Why aren't we holding hands and talking sweets? I love you really, though I know no-one believes me There's chaos every time we meetIt wasn't bad at all actually. Maybe not his first choice of music, but there was something he couldn't put his finger on. He couldn't stop a smile though, thinking of the one who always turned his world upside down, just by existing in it.Oh no, look what you've gone and done, you're creating pandemonium That song you sing means everything to me, I'm living in ecstasy The stars and the sun dance to your drum and now it's pandemoniumOh yes, that was the right word. Pandemonium. He smiled when he gave back the headphones to the girl, his thoughts partly left somewhere totally else. There's chaos every time we meet … and now it's pandemonium. Some things just don't change.oOoHe walked the last part home, and he caught himself humming on the song the girl shared with him earlier. “Yeah, mostly, like, synthpop.” She had said and nodded with all the nonchalant air that only a twelve years old girl can muster. “Most successful duo in UK music history.” Living away from the muggle world sure made you miss some things. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. “Can you imagine that it's almost forty years since they formed the group? Actually, you was just one year old when they started. Isn't it fantastic?” Yes, it actually was pretty fantastic. So old music, and still... He felt around in his pockets for the small electronic device they had insisted that he needed. He took some time untangling his own headphones, and then connected them to the contraption where the girl copied some of the music for him.“If you didn't really understand the cause If you didn't even pause for thought How come we went to war?” Eleven years old, and he was already chosen to fight a war. A war he hadn't a chance to understand, a war that still made him spend sleepless night trying to see where the line between good and evil was drawn. With a shrug of discomfort he skipped forward and ended up in a song where the singer happily declared that his partner was an idiot. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Yeah, love sure made you overlook a lot of things. Or maybe it just made you realize which things were important and which were not.He took the last steps up to the door at 12 Grimmauld Place with some relief, however nice it was to see Hermione or his other friends, getting back home was always something he looked forward to. Maybe it was something left from the time right after the war, when everyone wanted to have his picture, talk to him, touch him as soon as he left home. Or maybe it was something about moving out from the house where he and Ginny had lived for all those years, getting something that was his and only his.Whatever the reason was he drew a satisfied sigh when he closed the door behind him. Yes, this was his home. Hogwarts had been his first home in the way of being the place where he belonged, but this was actually his home, the place that belonged to him, just as well as he belonged to it. He aimed the jacket for the counter in the hallway, but saw it glide over the edge and fall in a heap on the floor. He looked at it for a couple of seconds, then he smiled and went for the kitchen. He could pick it up later, he still had an hour of solitude until Albus and the Notts would come back.Half an hour later Harry went for the drawing room with his newly made coffee. Passing the hallway he sent the heap of jacket a resigned look, picked it up and put it away. It must be admitted that he wasn’t the tidiest person, but he tried when he had the kids. And especially when Theodore Nott and his family were coming for a visit.He clearly remembered Theodore's unmoving face, declaring that since their kids had shown that the rules from before the war finally and certainly was gone, maybe he and Harry could take their example and act as adults of the new time. It was a very stiff, and maybe a bit scared, way of reaching out a hand, and Harry had been surprised how much it meant to him. He laughed to himself, remembering Ron's narrowed eyes when he told him and Hermione about the new acquaintance he had made. Ron would never really approve of Harry spending time with 'the enemies', a phrase that hastily changed to 'former enemies' after the usual stern look from Hermione.Putting down his coffee on the table his thoughts went back to Lily and Ginny, the most important girls in his life. And probably the most troublesome too. The trouble with Lily was pretty recent though, and would hopefully solve itself pretty soon too. The trouble with Ginny on the other hand... No, that had been there for a long time, probably longer than their friends understood. There had always been love, but there was the nagging annoyance, the growing lack of satisfaction, the creeping boredom. And then... “And it's really not fair, it wasn't you...” Hermione's voice flooded his mind. No. No, he guessed not. But Ginny's blatant clumsiness, her openly shown change in mood, the note of defiance every time she met his eyes... That was not a woman hiding an affair from her husband, that was a woman wanting to get caught.Harry sighed. And the lack of tears from both of them when they finally sat down to face the facts, they should probably have let it go there and then. But for some reason they chose to ignore their obvious problems, saying that they could get this to work, everybody expected them to, and there were the kids to think about. They should have known that it was all just wasted time. And they should have known that nothing would really be better, but likely the opposite.Harry turned the cup of coffee round and around on the table. Suddenly his lips turned into an involuntary smile, and he started humming to himself again. He thought distractedly that he really should get some of these albums, and then he wondered if he should tell Ginny something about the chaos-bringing person in his life. After that his thoughts got lost in a familiar way, and when the Notts pressed the doorbell his coffee was cold and untouched.oOoHarry closed the door behind him, and leaned against it with closed eyes. This had been one of ‘Those Days,’ the ones where he wondered heatedly why he ever agreed to stay as head of the Auror office. Everything had gone wrong, from the failure in Ashford to the incident outside the lifts, further on to the idiotic dispute about robes, and finally to his own office and the pain in the ass who he shared it with. He couldn't understand why he let this person affect him that much.
In denial, no
Well, maybe he could. Maybe he let this person affect him because he wanted to be around. Because that most of the time it worked just well. Because this person had grown to be one of the most important people in his life; but he could never admit it. So he lived his working days in a mix of pleasure and pain, but today it had been just too much pain. These days he just didn't know if it actually was worth it.It's a problem That I'm not solving Don't mind admitting I feel like quitting this job For a while, getting away Before it gets any worse todayAnd then there was Ginny. Lily had finally agreed to stay with him, and then this seemingly never-ending workday happened, and the substantial overtime is not helping. Ginny agreed to have Hermione come over and staying with Lily until he was home again, but the edge in her voice clearly told him that this wasn't over. She would not be pleased when she got to know how late it really had been. He was trying to fit all the parts of his life together, and his head just started to swirl.Think I'm going mad How d'you know if you're going mad?Hermione came down the stairs. “Bad day?”He sighed deeply. “You have no idea.”“Well, Lily is sleeping. She kept saying that she didn't care that you were away, that she was better off with me anyway.” The slow shaking of her head was followed by a sad smile. “But I think she was more trying to convince herself than me. I think she really want to make your relationship better, she just don't know how. This wasn't really helping, I'm afraid.”“That's right, just when I thought that my day couldn't get any worse,” he groaned. He thought about their attempts to communicate. “I'm trying, but we just don't get through. The best connection with most honesty is when we just look at each other.”“Look at me I'm lonely” “Look at me I'm sad”Hermione picked up her bag and the big book. “I'm glad I could help some way at least. Tomorrow is your day off, no stressful work and a lot of time to relax together with Lily. Maybe that's just what you two need.”“I hope so. I've got the most wonderful little girl here, and I can't reach her.” He followed her out in the kitchen and over to the fireplace. “You're the best, you know. I don't know what I should do without you.”A warm smile met him. “Any time, Harry. Monstrous evil snakes or troubled children, I'll be there for you. Now try to get some sleep, you definitely look like you need it.” With a woosh, she disappeared in the fireplace.Harry walked up the stairs with heavy steps. This conflict was so meaningless, there wasn't really anything to make a fuss about. Lily just needed an excuse, a reason to yell and get outlet for all her fears and insecurities. He desperately wished that there was something he could do about it, some way to make her life easier. But being the one he was, every action from him would just cause attention, and make things even worse for her. He carefully opened the door, looked at the sleeping Lily and sighed.A dad with a girl who knows he's gay
Can you love me anyway?
oOoWhen Harry left home this Monday morning he was in a good mood. He had had a nice Sunday with his daughter, and even if they couldn't be described as close they could at least talk now. And Lily had agreed to come back next time he got time off from work, they were definitely getting somewhere....But then he entered the Ministry, and was met by half a dozen relatively oversized chickens happily running around in the Atrium, followed by a bunch of tired wizards from the Beast Division. In the elevator a stressed out little witch carrying a gigantic pile of paper accidentally stepped on his foot, and almost fell into tears when she turned around and realised who he was. Closing his eyes didn't stop Harry from hearing her dropping the papers, spreading them all over the elevator and out through the door to level five.Finally opening the doors to the Auror Headquarters he was met by a patiently waiting auror with scratches all over hands and face, carrying a — now — angelic owl that he handed over in silence. With the affectionately hooting owl on his arm he went for his office, and he had a feeling that the absence of morning greetings was connected to the way his colleagues sent one look at his face and then suddenly got extremely busy.Entering his office, he got rid of the annoying owl. He hoped that he at least would get some positive  feedback from who he shared the room with. Those things actually happened now and then.“Good morning.” Harry tried not to notice the row of tiny origami animals on his colleague's desk made out of folded paper.“Mhm,” A small movement of the blond head could have been a greeting, but then again not.“Been busy today already, have you?” It took a lot of effort to make the sentence sound pleasant, and not stare at the fragile figurines.“Mm.”With a deep breath Harry waved at the windows. “Nice weather today.”“Potter.” Finally a disbelieving and slightly mocking face showed itself. “You're the Head of the Auror Office. This is your room. The maintenance workers love you. Of course it's nice weather.” The drawling voice easily succeeded in making the statement into an insult, falling into a frequent and well-known pattern.
Are you feeling alright?
“I'm aware of that, thank you.” A feeling of deepest annoyance accompanied the sharp retort, but somehow also some kind of safety.
It's easy, we've been there before
Harry walked over to the other's desk, leaning over it with a hard face. “And since this is my office I like it when there is some actual work done here.”There's an almost amused snort. “You should be aware that out of the two persons sharing this room there is one who has been working for over an hour, and another one who just entered through the door.”“I'm also aware that I agreed to share it only because of that 'accident' in the Investigation Department. Because this room was the only one where they were reasonable sure that that kind of 'accident' wouldn't happen again.” His eyes narrowed. “But I'm sure I can help you with accepting the alternative. Take some paid leave and see the case you've been working on fall to nothing in your absence.”“Nah,” his nose wrinkled in a mocking but satisfied way, “I like it here.” The satisfaction on his face was washed away by sarcasm. “I mean, where else can I find such nice weather?”Harry's stomach wriggled in undecided feelings. First, annoyance and insecurity, then safety and amusement. Still, somewhere, the tiny remembrance of hate, but it was far less strong than it would have been in Hogwarts. There was definitely also something else too. He had a feeling that things were happening too fast around him, that he was running, but he's not sure where to.But it feels like the flight of the Von Trapps, does that mean it's war?With a last sharp look at the source of his confusion he went back to his own desk. He sat down, put his music machine on the desk, and had just opened his mouth to continue the meaningless but satisfactory argumentation when there was a knock on the door.“Harry?” A brown-haired girl opened the door and put her head inside.“Katie, nice to see you. Can I help you with something?” A big smile pushed the annoyed wrinkles out of his face.“Not really,” The girl stayed in the doorway, leaning on the doorpost. “I was just visiting a friend a couple of doors down, and I thought I should stop by and check in on you.” She put a hand through her hair. “I guess I should be in a hurry, but I thought I could afford a couple of minutes for your sake.”“I'm glad, I don't meet the rest of you as often as I wish.” He sighed. “How about that job in Diagon Alley? Did you get it?”There was a short laugh. “Oh my, is it so long ago since we last met? No, I didn't.” She rolled her eyes. “And no, I don't think Hermione has a good idea, I would be a lousy teacher. Imagine me compared to McGonagall.”“I don't know.” Harry looked a bit more serious. “You might not have the same authority as McGonagall, but you have experience. You’ve been in the middle when a whole world changed. A lot of the others can't even start to imagine those things. Don't throw that thought away just yet, Okay?”Katie looked thoughtful, standing upright again. “If you say so.” She sent a curious look at the man who had been sharing Harry’s office for some time now. “I have to run again. See you soon though, you still owe me that beer.” The wink was followed by another look at the third person in the room. “This is so strange, I never thought I would see this. I guess this is out of necessity, but Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in the same room – and you're not killing each other!”Harry saw the door close behind her, and heard Draco’s drawling voice, “It's not too late yet...” With great effort, he managed to stop the laugh that suddenly bubbled up his throat, threatening to break free, but when he looked up and saw the same suppressed laughter in the other man's eyes he gave up. He let himself smile with a unexpected calm, and he was rewarded with a rare, reserved (but still warm) smile back.Draco stood up and walked over to Harry's desk, looking down on it with a thoughtful face. “Potter, there's something I wanted to ask you. It’s silly, I warn you.”“What’s silly is the ‘Potter’ thing. Stop it.”“You are my superior after all.” A quick twitch and then his face became blank. “You don't have to keep asking for those things.”“I'm not asking, I'm insisting. We're supposed not to kill each other, remember? We can use some more informal approach to things.”We're meant to be friends That's what it says in the scriptA pair of narrowed eyes slowly relaxed, and his face went blank and unreadable again.. “Yeah, I guess you're right.” There's a small but relieved sigh. “Now tell me. What in Merlin's name is that muggle thing?”“This?” Harry lifted the small box. “It's for music.”“I see. I've heard of those.” He reached out a hand. “Can I see it?” With a frown he turned it around in his hands. “What do you use it for?”This time the laugh can't be stopped. “Listening to music, of course.”“Muggle music?” Draco's eyebrows managed to both stay wrinkled and lift high at once.“Yes. A... friend recommended it, and I find it pretty nice actually. Try it.”A look of clear suspicion landed on Draco's face. “You think? How does it work?”“Here, like this. Take this one...” Harry lifted the cord and reached out the end towards the hesitant man. “...and put it in your ear.”“What?” A note of fear could be heard, but it was obviously forced down. “Like this?”“Yes. And now I start this here.” The music started to play, and Harry could see his former enemy twitch, look surprised, and then slowly display a delighted smile. A smile that almost made Harry's breathing stop.Is it really the end if sometimes I stray just a bit?“I like this.” Draco looked joyful. “I didn't even knew muggles could do stuff like this. It...” He raised his head and met Harry's eyes. “It makes me happy.” With a half sided smile he returned the player. “Thank you. These muggles continues to surprise me.”“They're not the only ones being surprising you know. A Malfoy showing appreciation for muggles like that... Where is the world heading?” The words were tantalising, but the look in Harry's eyes was warm.Quickly, a hint of warm content fluttered over Draco's face, and it disappeared just as fast. With a dismissive sound he returned to his desk. “I know this sound unnatural to you, Potter, but how about trying to get some real work done?” With that, he buried himself in a great pile of papers and became silent.Harry smiled to himself, and sitting down he put one of the headphones in an ear and looked over at his partner. The way a strand of hair kept escaping, falling in his eyes when he bowed over something interesting. The colour of his skin and those eyes, grey with carefully concealed feelings. The way his body moved, his posture, and that almost playful attitude that he showed on rare occasions. It was just impossible to keep his eyes away, and he couldn't understand that no one had said something. His interest in this man must be visible, perfectly radiating, it must... The music filled his mind, and he listened, never letting his eyes leave the man that he loved.And everyone knows when they look at us Of course they do, it must be obvious I've never told you now I suppose that you're the only one who doesn't knowoOo“Why did you and mum stopped being married? For real?” Lily looked up from the table, eyes fixating Harry at the stove where he was taking care of the dinner with his mind somewhere totally else.“Oh.” If he only could explain this now, get her to understand. “You know, sometimes those things just don't work out.” Brilliant. What a good explanation.“You met someone. A man. While you were married to mum.” Her eyes were hard and accusing.Harry sat down at the table. “Yes. Yes, I did. But not before I and your mum had talked about it, and decided that we wanted to change the ways of our marriage a bit.”“No. You can't do that. Marriages don't work that way.” Lily looked irritated, and a little bit scared.“Sometimes you have two bad things to choose between, and then you just have to go with what is less bad. At least what you think is the less bad.” He sighed. “But you're right in some way, we probably made the wrong choice back there. Sometimes a divorce is the less bad.”“No,” This time the word was even more stressed. “You shouldn't divorce. You can't just decide that you don't want to be a family any more. Especially not without asking the family.” She glared at him.“Lily... Sometimes a family stops being a family before a divorce. It's like...” Harry tried to find a way to explain. “It's like Gryffindor playing Ravenclaw in the quidditch final, and Gryffindor is in the lead, obviously superior to the others. And suddenly Ravenclaw's seeker gets ill, and they have no replacement. Now all that needs to be done is for the Gryffindor seeker to catch the snitch, and they will be the winner. They have already won of course, but it needs to be official too.” He looked at Lily. “That wasn't the best... was it?”The girl looked at him with big eyes, and suddenly there's a twitch in the corner of her mouth. “Dad? We're supposed to talk about your and mum’s divorce, and you're talking about quidditch?”Staring back at her Harry felt his lips starting to twitch too, and a second later they both started to laugh. He stood up and smiled at her. “Think about it, and we'll talk more about it after dinner? Is that good with you?” Lily nodded and he went back to the stove.A couple of hours later and Lily was fast asleep in her bed. They didn't talk any more about the divorce, but Harry caught her looking at him a few times, as if trying to start something. He didn’t push it, let her come to him when she was ready.. What he would say in that discussion he had no idea, he's really not very good at this. He reached out for his cup, letting the thoughts fly back to the subject itself.It was true that it was Ginny who initiated it all, but he hadn't been slow in following her lead. That night at the table they had talked a lot, and one of the things that they agreed with some bitterness was that the concept of faithfulness inside the marriage was something that didn't apply to them any more. Ginny probably never realised that you could get jealous anyway. Not until it was too late at least. He sighed. He never wanted to hurt her, but everything was spinning so fast, he was hurt and frustrated and definitely fed up with their relationship. And suddenly there was an option. A way to experience some change, to find new parts of himself, to feel alive again. It was intoxicating. Harry moved the cup an inch to the side with a frown. He would never forget her face that first morning when she met him in the door after him being absent all night.Did you get what you want? Do you know what it is? Do you care?He could see that it was hard for her, and some parts of him wanted to soothe her, shield her, take care of her. And then children and work and forced socialising with her family came in between, and they went back to the itching grey zone that was their marriage. But something was different. It changed the night when that handsome man walked up to him at the bar and offered his company. Harry's needless lies about staying at Grimmauld Place at night just made everything worse. And finally she realised that him seeing someone else and him suddenly spending a lot of time with Roger Davies could perfectly well be merged into one.Is he better than me? Was it your place or his? Who was there?Ginny could probably had learned to live with him seeing another woman, but facing that she was replaced with a man was just too much for her. The row went on all weekend, and they soon learned to retreat to the kitchen and a Muffliato to spare the kids, at least. First she was furious, but after two days of yelling she went perfectly — and frankly more terrifyingly — calm. She looked at him and told him that the problem didn't was that he had turned into someone she didn't know, the problem was that she obviously never knew him. She always wanted to be a good wife, and she had always hoped that they should find the way back to each other. But there were limits, there were things that she just couldn't live with.
I don't know what you want but I can't give it any more
And so the great Harry Potter was divorced, left to spend his time with Roger. With the man he never loved.With the man who chose to go to the papers with their love story.oOoSometimes Harry thought that his work was going to be his death, other times he appreciated it and had great fun, and sometimes it felt like the only place where he belonged, his sanctuary. Today was one of the later days. One of those days that begins with you opening your eyes just to find the ghosts of your past on top of you, putting a constant pressure over your ribs. Those days where the coffee just doesn't taste as good as normal. The days when you can't help remembering all those long days at work when you should have spent time with your kids instead.When Harry got to the thoughts about how everyone just wanted him because of his fame, or his position in the Ministry, and that no one was really interested in him, he put the barely touched coffee on the table and apparated straight to work, sitting down at his desk some of the stress started to give way.He sat there for some time, taking in the well-known surroundings, not sure if he was disappointed or relieved that the other desk was empty. Seeing the other man usually made his day better, but he wasn't sure he could take the bickering right now, however friendly it may be.Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes. He thought about Draco, and how they came to share the same office. It was a nasty story. Officially it was called an accident in the Investigation Department, an accident that could have cost Draco his life. By mere luck he had managed to escape the attack, because that was what it was, and everyone knew it. It wasn't as if anyone had been running like mad to get to work with him to begin with, but now people were afraid. They didn’t want to be caught by stray bullets, so to speak. The head of the department had sought out Harry and asked for help. And soon they had agreed that there were actually just one place where Draco would be safe from similar accidents – the office of the head of the Aurors, Harry Potter himself. And so it happened that there was an extra desk installed, and then the blond man had moved into his room, and after some time, into his heart.The door opened, the man in question entered, arms filled with books and parchments. He looked the way Harry had felt when he entered the room half an hour earlier, and only nodded shortly before starting to unload his burden. Harry waited until he was done and sat down.“Good morning.” His voice was soft and sympathetic.Draco looked up. “Hm.” He looked down for a moment and moved a book from one pile to another, just to look back at his superior. “You're here early.”“I had a bad day. I believe that you can relate. Even if we might not have the same reasons.” Sometimes it was possible to have a serious discussion with the other man, sometimes not. He had not figured out when those moments were.A tired sneer appeared on the blond man's face. “Well your reasons are clear for anyone who read the papers. Children, ex-wife, losses and sacrifices from the war that still haunts you. No new lover as of lately though, are you losing touch?”Patiently he kept his temper. “If we ignore the part about my non-existent lover,-” Something tickled in his stomach. “-you are pretty straight on, yes. What about you?”Your life's a mystery mine is an open book If I could read your mind I think I'd take a look“Oh, nothing.” This was most obviously untrue.“You know you can talk to me if you like. I can listen.”“Potter, that's just stupid, I have no such intentions. We both know who I am, you don't want to hear what's eating me. Honestly.” The sneer was gone, but there was something watchful in his eyes.I don't care Baby, I'm not scared“If you really don't want to talk about it, well, I'm not going to push you. But if you change your mind, I'll be here. And it's Harry, remember?”“Mm, whatever.”There was a knock on the door, and after Harry had asked them to enter, a square-built man in Auror dress came into the room. If he was aware that there was someone with the other desk he sure didn't show it. Instead he just turned directly to Harry with a perfectly neutral face and cleared his throat.“I just wanted you to know that we have caught Starns.”“Starns, Starns...” Harry was obviously thinking hard. “I'm sorry, who was that again?”The man didn't show any annoyance, or any other feeling for that matter, but carried on with the same neutral face. “Richard Starns. Young man with unsuitable opinions. Dark wizard, no doubt. Suspected of involvement in a number of different, shady activities.”“Oh, yes, I know now. Barely out of school, I believe. It's sad to see them stray when they’re still so young...” He shook his head and looked down in the desk for a second. “What did you get him for?”“We had a look in his home. Well, his mother's home, but that's where he lives. His room was a nightmare though. He had some kind of shrine dedicated to You-Know-Who, a couple of banned books, and some unknown potions which we confiscated to identify. But also a lot of notes regarding attacks on different, important places and persons. Enough to keep him locked up.”“I'm sad to hear that.” With a sigh he put his hands palms down on the desk, before he looked up at the man again. “Well done. Our country is a safer place now, thanks to you. You did what you had to, and you did it good.”“It was all my pleasure. That kind of trash-” Here he definitely looked quickly Draco's way. “-should be kept off the street. Preferably shipped off to Azkaban all of them.”“Well, if that was all..?” Harry didn’t like that look nor the insinuation, his face was a bit hard when he dismissed the Auror.When he had left, the head of the department turned to his office-mate again. “Don't let it get to you. Some people are like that.”“Really? You don't say?” Draco's face was bitter and disdainful, most of it seemingly aimed at himself. “Do you think there was something I've done?”“Hey, you work here now, at the Ministry. Everyone knows who you are today. You've been working hard to redeem yourself.”“If you really believe that you're even more naïve then I thought. You do remember why I'm here? I will never get rid of this kind of behaviour.” Suddenly his face turned uncharacteristically open and vulnerable. “I hate it when you get in the way though. I've heard the arguments you've had with people who think I should be sent away. You're... I'm... Yes.”What have you got to say of shadows in your past? I thought that if you paid you'd keep them off our backsTaking a deep breath, Draco looked at him. “I'm a lost cause. I only bring pain and despair.” Suddenly his eyes got very wide, and his face closed up again.But I don't care Baby, I'm not scared“I'm not so sure about that,” Harry said. Distractedly he took out his music gadget, watching the blond head which was now carefully turned face first into the desk.It got quiet for some time, and both of them started with their own work. After some time Harry pushed away the pile of parchments he was reading from. Yawning, he stretched out his arms against the roof and his legs as far under the desk as possible, without causing him to fall off the chair. Standing up, he walked over to the window and back, just to finally give up.“Draco, do you want to see a thing?”The other man looked up with a watchful face. “What?”“You know this music machine I have? Hermione showed me a useful spell.” Putting the device on the desk, and turning it on, he drew his wand.“OK, now I'm curious.” Draco stood up and walked over to him. “Are you going to curse a Muggle object? Isn't that a bit... questionable?”“I won't tell anyone if you don't tell.” His smile was brilliant.“Fine. Let's see then. What does it do?”“Hold on. Canere!” He was waving his wand at the machine, and suddenly the room was filled with music.Draco's eyes got very big, and he kept looking around in the room, as if looking for the singer. “What... what is this?”“A neat little speaker spell. This way we can listen together.” Suddenly he felt almost shy. “I thought that you might like that.”There was only silence though, the other man seemed to listen intently. Side by side they stood together, listening.Where do we have to be so I can laugh and you'll be free? I'd go anywhere Baby, I don't care I'm not scaredHalfway through Harry looked up, and met the other's eyes. The intimacy of the fleeting look they shared was enough to cause a fluttering feeling in his stomach, at the same time made it almost hard to breath. But who needed air, anyway?oOoIt was Friday, and Harry was running down the stairs at the same time as he tugged his jacket over his shoulders. He should have been at the Leaky Cauldron ten minutes ago, and Hermione did not like to be kept waiting. Good thing that Ron was with her, in that way her attention would be diverted. He had been at work, and Draco had been in one of his rare, talkative moods, where he actually shared a bit about himself. No way he was going to interrupt that because of a silly dinner..Not until half an hour after he should have left, Draco frowned and asked him if he was supposed to be somewhere? He had talked about a dinner, right? “I love to hear you talk, so screw that!” No, not really a sensible thing to say. Instead he had shrugged and said something about how it wasn't that important when he got there, but maybe he should think about leaving. It was a lie of course, Hermione expected him to be there on time. But that half an hour was so worth her scolding.He was impressed with himself. By hurrying home and redressing in record speed he had managed to reduce the time missing from his initial plan. From the thirty minutes he was late when he left work, to fifteen minutes now. Rushing into the kitchen he hit one of the chairs accidently with his index finger, putting the finger to his mouth he let out a muffled curse. He reached for the floo-powder, last minute he remembered to remove the finger from his mouth. Not that he really was scared of ending up in Knockturn Alley again, but if he ended up somewhere else he would be even later, and then Hermione would have his head.The floo didn't involve any adventures though, and he soon stepped out onto the wooden floors of  the Leaky Cauldron. He could see his friends over at the bar, talking to a short witch who talked with big gestures and seemed to be very attached to Hermione. When the later saw him she looked relieved and said something hasty to the witch, took her husband's arm, and left her standing at the bar.“Harry, so good to see you.” She hugged him forcefully. “Rescuing us from my annoying colleague almost makes me forget that you're late. Where have you been?”“Oh, I got held up at work, you know how it is.”“I see.” There was the quickest of exchange of looks between her and her husband.Sooner or later this happens to everyone“Well I for one am starving, let's go eat, shall we?” Ron put one hand on his stomach and nodded with emphasis.They listened to the red-head, and soon they were on their way to the restaurant. It was a nice little place in Muggle London, not far from the Leaky Cauldron. They walked there, and Harry started to actually relax. It had been a long week, the wizards and witches of Great Britain sure kept him busy. And then there was the permanent worry about the kids, and the balance with Ginny, and... He started to smile, the blond problem in his office. That particular problem still managed to make him close to speechless from anger, but mostly just made his days so much better by just existing. The way an amused smile could appear half way through one part of their recurring bickering. How he run a hand through his hair when he was worried about his work, and his horrified face when he realized what he had done to his hairdo. His newfound interest for Muggles and their ways.This far in his thoughts he was interrupted by an amused Hermione, who asked if he'd like to share what he was thinking about, since he had such a lovely smile on his lips. A bit embarrassed he mumbled something about 'not so important', and had to endure another of his friends' exchanged looks. Soon they were at the restaurant though, found a table and ordered some food. There was some silence, but then Ron threw out a question.“Hey, mate, what about you and Roger?”“Roger Davies? Ron, that was ages ago!”“Well, I just thought... You haven't been seeing anyone seriously since him. I thought that maybe... Hermione, some help?” A bit red and flustered he turned to his wife.She smiled and turned to Harry. “Well, since you seem to have a hard time meeting someone for more than a night, maybe it has something to do with him.”“What would that be?“ The answer was a bit grumpy, but he didn't like to talk about Roger.“I don't know, trust issues maybe? Isn't it time that you believe in someone soon?”Do I believe in Draco? The answer was a resounding yes. But he wasn't about to tell anyone about that just yet. This was between him and Draco. Not that the other man knew that, but...“I don't know. I have a challenging job and three kids, I don't know if there's room for anything like that.”Ron entered the discussion again,“It's nice to have someone, trust me. You don't have to be alone.”You can live your life lonely heavy as stone Live your life learning and working alone“I tried that with Ginny, and that was not a hit. And Roger and I... Don't even get me started.”“Well, you had a bit of bad luck, maybe some underlying desperation, but it doesn't have to be like that.” Her smile was understanding and a bit sad.“You've never got the idea that maybe love isn't for me?” The feeling that right now, the other man was only to look at but not to touch was stubbornly there. He was also a bit confused, and a tiny bit irritated. Since when did they need to butt in on his love life?“Oh, Harry. I most definitely believe that you're wrong in that.” A hand reached out and took his, while she smiled at him enigmatically.Say this is all you want but I don't believe that it's true 'cause when you least expect it waiting round the corner for you“I must say that I fail to see the use of this discussion.” Harry felt a frown appear on his face.What is she on about?“We are your friends. We just want you to be happy.” With a slightly guilty face she pushed a lock back behind her ear. “And we might just be a bit curious. If you've met someone, we're dying to know.”Some inarticulate mumbling was the only answer she got.“Honestly, mate. When are you gonna give it up?” Ron’s smile was definitely amused.“Give up? What do you mean?”“Just tell us already,” still smiling, he shook his head.“Tell you what?” The confusion wasn't fully convincing, and he couldn't help but to sound a bit defensive.Ron sighed, exchanged a knowing look with his wife, and smiled a smile that was still partly amused, but also a small part resigned, “Never mind, old chap. Never mind.”When Harry left his friends and started to head home again he thought about the discussion. He couldn't make heads or tails out of it. Were they just interested in pushing him towards meeting someone, or did they suspect that there was someone on his mind? Because he couldn't be that obvious with Draco, could he? “Love isn't for me.” He didn't really believed in that, he was painfully aware that he could fall in love. Because he had fallen, hard. The fact that it happened to be the very last person that could ever be obtainable was another issue.Thinking of the man made his thoughts start to soar in well-known paths, and with a happy smile playing on his lips he continued his way hone in a much better mood.Love comes quickly whatever you do you can't stop fallingoOoThe weekend had been relatively good. He didn't return home too late from his dinner with Ron and Hermione on Friday, and most of Saturday he had a day blessedly free from any responsibilities. Later the kids came to him, and they had one of these nights where they all of them were at the same place and had a nice time together. Sunday he took the kids back to Ginny, and they all had dinner together. For once, Monday morning wasn't that bad. But then he got the weekend report from the ones who were on duty, and it wasn't fun. The pre-lunch meeting was, in his opinion, just a waste of time. Ron didn't make it to their appointed lunch, and after that he got presented with a gigantic stack of parchments that needed his evaluation.Now he sat and tried to concentrate on those parchments in peace and quiet, but no. His annoying room-mate was shoving parchments around, reading books and mumbling the words out loud, shutting the book with a bang, all that could have been forgiven. But now he had started to hum something, and he was not good at keeping in tune. Not even close.“Draco. For Merlin's sake,” he growled, the sounds digging into his brain.“What?” The face was genuinely innocent, and even though the humming had stopped he was still waving the front cover of his book in pace in the same beat.“Are you trying to drive me nuts? Because you're doing a pretty good job so far.” It was hard not to let the anger out, and he could feel it seething under the surface. No matter how he tried to contain it, it had to shine through, he was sure of that.“Oh.” The innocently questioning face turned cold and disdainful. “What did I do to upset your Royal Highness now?”The surprise almost quenched the anger. Almost. “What do you know about royalty, anyway?”“One picks up things. But I'm sure you don't feel any need to expand your knowledge, you're perfect as you are, right?” The drawl was well-known, and pushed Harry's buttons the same way it always did.“I'm not sure why I even bother to talk to you. You're a menace, really.” He took a deep breath to try to calm down, and was managing pretty fine until Draco opened his mouth again.“Alas, I'm just a plodding subject, so far from the shining crown of the Saviour.”“Don't call me that!” Suddenly the other had crossed the line between bickering and a quarrel. “If you don't close that filthy mouth of yours, I will...”“You would do what?” His eyes were coldly amused and there were no nice glimmers in them. “Shine on me?”That's it. He has had enough. With shaking hands he pushed the parchments together to an uneven heap and picked it up. A parchment left the heap and hit the floor. Taking a couple of breaths he got himself together enough to pick it up. On his way out of the office he turned to the blond man. “You’re a nightmare! Don’t think I’ll hesitate to send you back where you came from!”He regretted it almost as soon as he left the room, of course. But now he was on the move, and had better to find a place to finish his work. He found an empty room, and sat down with his parchments. A gnawing bad conscience tugged on him constantly, but he pushed it away, to the back of his mind Yes, he had been unnecessary hard with Draco, but he would make it up to him.It took some time, but finally the heap of parchments came to an end, he collected his things and headed back to his office. It was time to apologize to Draco. As usual he had lost his temper, and this time it ended up in a nasty threat. He sighed, and hoped that the other man at least would recognize the signs and take it for what it was.The door was slightly open, as he had left it, and there was sounds from within. Quietly he got rid of the parchments, sneaking up to the door and looking inside. Draco was standing with his back towards him, he had started Harry's music machine. He seemed to be totally lost in the song, swaying slightly.Oh no! I won't upset the status quo I'm in love with you Do you think it shows?Leaning on the door frame he couldn't help a smile.And everyone knows when they look at us Of course they do, it must be obvious You've never asked me and I'm surprised 'cause you're the only one who hasn't triedThe well-known words washed over him, and he couldn't take his eyes off his room-mate. But he must have made some noise, because the other man slowly turned around. Since Harry now was exposed he took a couple of steps inside the room and put down his parchments, but then their eyes met, and they were both standing still, just existing in the moment.Then Draco took a deep breath. “We’ve been listening to that song so many times now, and it only makes me think of you.” For a moment he looked away, but then met Harry’s eyes again. “Is it true what they say? Am I that obvious?” he quoted, smiling.He couldn't stop the smile from dawning on his face, and he walked forward slowly, up to the Slytherin. When he was next to him he lifted his hand and slowly stroked the other man's cheek. Joyousness lit up Draco's eyes, and Harry had never seen a sight more beautiful.The blond put his hand on the one on his cheek, holding it in place, leaning into it. Harry tried to get  his mind form some strand of coherent words, but soon gave up. Words were clearly overrated right now. Instead he lifted his other arm and tentatively put it at Draco's waist. He was rewarded with a hand on his upper arm, and he took a careful step closer.“You're the only one who doesn't know.” The blond man's attempts to sing their song was a catastrophe, and thankfully he stopped singing pretty fast. “Is it actually true? You didn't know?”“No, I didn't. Now hush.” Carefully, still a bit hesitant, and very slow he leaned in until their lips met. As he melted into the kiss he could hear the device changing tracks.This is the moment we'll remember every day for the rest of our livesYes. It felt like he had been on his way to this moment for a very long time, this was what he really wanted. He wondered absent-mindedly how long they really had been on their way here. Half a year? Ten years? Twenty-seven? Right now it really didn't matter though. They were here, together.It's been a long time coming We've been in the running for so long but now we're on our wayThey were here, and who knows where they would go from here. There was some butterflies in his stomach. Some of them came from an uncertainty, that he didn't know what was happening and where this new thing would take them, but some of them were celebrating the bright new adventure that was laid out in front of him. Still slowly he retreated from the kiss, and instead he bowed his head until they were standing with their foreheads touching each other.Let the ride just take us side by side and make us see the world through new eyes every dayHe could stand here all afternoon and the rest of the night as far as he was concerned, but this was an office after all, and maybe not the best place for any... activities. He took a step back, but not as far as having to let go totally.“This is my official room in the ministry, and we're not fifteen any more, as much as it pains me to say.” A thought made his smile even bigger. “Not that I can imagine us involved in this kind of business at fifteen years old.”“I can, definitely.”“What? You mean... did you...” Trying to stay unaffected did not turn out that well.“No, of course not. I hated you like poison back then. But if things had been different, I can so see us sneaking away and snogging in some dark corridor.” He tilted his head and smiled a totally irresistible smile. “That would have been fun. Pity all the things we didn't do when we were young.”“It's not too late. Well, snogging in a Hogwarts corridor – I'd say that that ship has sailed. But we have a lot of days to come.” Harry couldn't help but touching Draco again, at the same time as he tried to keep some dignity – this was his office after all – even though he just wanted to be really close to the other.Draco reached out and took his hand. “So, what happens now? We snog other places?”Harry snorted at the joke. It only took a moment to decide. “Dinner at my place?”Draco smiled, wide and sharp, “Let's get out of here.” He let go of Harry's hand and fetched the music gadget. “Don't forget this one.”“Definitely not. If it wasn't for that thing...” A content smile followed his words, and gave the blond man a knowing look before stepping up to the door. “Shall we?”They left the office together, Harry sending some goodbyes to their working co-workers. He itched to take Draco's hand, but he didn't know how public the other wanted them to be. This was their place of work after all. On the other hand, news like this – especially when it was about the celebrated Saviour – tended to spread pretty fast. And then there was this small thing; they might have been kind of obvious. Most likely everybody already knew.In the elevator they stood close enough for the back of their hands to brush against each other, and Harry sent a thought to Neil and Chris, with his heartfelt thanks. They did not know, but they had sure changed his life. Walking through the Atrium for the fireplaces he heard  Draco start humming something, and this time there even were some words.Oh, when they look at us It must be obviousYeah, maybe the time for discretion had long since ended, but he didn't care. This was here and now, and he just knew that this time it was going to be good.