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8:30.That’s the time they agreed on. Noodle hated that she made herself be so punctual. But she had to let this out now. 8:31, where is he? She tried to make herself chill, at least he’s willing to listen, right? Okay, 8:32 they’re in the same house how can-Knock knock. “YES.” she replied, too loud.“ ‘yEs?!’ “ 2d mocked, peeking through the crack in the door.“Come in.”“Hey-ya~”“Hello.”“You wanted to talk.”“Yes.” 2d bent under the door frame to let himself in. He saw Noodle was on the floor and tried to hide the effort it took for him to crouch down to her level. Noodle shook her head and laughed when 2d realized how far away from her he still was.“I’m comin’ over.” 2d said, desperately rolling over towards Noodle.“I believe in you.”“You do? That’s a first.”“Shut up.”“Never.”Somehow during his half-assed gymnastics the pack of cigarettes in his back pocket ended up in his hand. He certainly deserved one after his journey from the door to the floor.“Give me one.”2d shook his head and bit one out of the box. “You’re too little.” he laughed.“You’re kidding.” Noodle tried to snatch the pack from him playfully.“Noodle, you don’t even inhale!” he sat up to hold it out of her reach. Too easy.“Oh come on!”2d threw the pack out of sight.“Okay, you have made your point.”“We don’ wanna mess up those pwetty pink lungsss, huh?~”“Be quiet.” He lit the cigarette and instantly looked worried. “Wait, this don’t bother you, does it?”“Huh-?No! No. I would have told you long ago.”“Oh okay. What’s up, babe?”Her anxieties melted away at the word. Being called their “baby” felt like the nicest constant in her life. Even if she usually rolled her eyes at the word, a smile always crept on her face after. “I’m tired of hiding everything. I’m gay.” she spat out.“I know that, what’s wrong?”Noodle tried not to whip her head around to him. Whatever guard she had built up was shattered in those 5 words. He knew that? She wasn’t hiding anything but, no one seemed to be able to take a hint. And everyone would probably have a stroke if she gave any. “Nothing is wrong, I suppose.”“Mhmm..?”“Oh.” she made herself continue. “It’s just.. I don’t know. It feels like.. this is so dumb. It feels like it isn’t.. our brand?”2d’s brows quirked. But, he immediately relaxed them and nodded. “No, I get it.”“I was hoping that you would.” Noodle finally relaxed her shoulders.“Liking ‘everybody’ is what you’re supposed to do right now, huh? Safe answer.”Noodle sighed.“And like.. it’s like that for people. But, that’s not how you feel. It’s like, how I’m still supposed to pull this ‘androgynous’ shit. Even though I’m pretty sure that I’m a woman. Not like I’d be good at that either but.." she hesitated and sucked her teeth through her entire thought process. "Okay, like if I had to pick, I’m a woman, like how you’re a lesbian, and we’ve known this forever. But that’s not our image, is it?”“Uh.. yes..” she had no idea how to respond. 2d said everything that needed to be said. “H-Hey-”“What?”“Do you want me t-”“Save it, baby. I don’t care what you call me.”She watched 2d take a drag. Noodle always thought the way she did looked so cool. She always knew she wasn’t supposed to look up to most things 2d did. But still.“Well, at least we all like girls. Solidarity, right?” she waved a fist around as she tried to laugh.“Please..”Noodle tried to prepare herself for whatever confession was about to happen.“Russel likes femininity, he don’t like like women. Old cactus-cock, too. They’re in denial about me, right? I’m scared that’s the only reason Russ is still with me.” 2d snarled while ending her statement.Noodle’s jaw dropped.“I don’t get how people have been calling me girly all my life and now that I agree, I’m wrong.” she desperately took a drag as she noticed her voice raising. "But, what do I know?""It- it's because you are an amazon and we can't handle it." She wondered what that was supposed to mean and how that was supposed to make 2d feel any better. She thanked whatever god she believed in at the moment 2d didn't seem to hear her. Noodle had no idea how to take any of this. Her brain was running a million miles an hour. Was this conversation even happening? How was this conversation even happening? Wasn’t she the one who wanted to talk? And why about this to 2 fucking D of all people? It’s- it’s fine? But.. what the hell is going on? What else is he.. er she, hiding? Why did she feel so threatened by her just knowing that she’s a lesbian? What else does 2d know? Why does it seem that she’s the only one to figure these things out? Why does she pretend to not understand anything and then just drop these things? And WHY don’t any of them go to therapy?She tried to come back to reality when she heard sniffling and something that sounded like ‘I wanted to get married..’“Fuck, why am I making this about me?”“Huh?”“Sorry. I’m exac- insac- fuck.” she rubbed her eyes and inhaled whatever was left from the filter in her hand. “Ex-ag-ger-a-ting.” she slapped her thigh on each syllable to make sure each one got out. “But yeah, women are great.” she blew a ring from the last puff she could get. Noodle watched it fly above them and fade away. 2d could always pull off being sad, she can give her that. 2d put the cigarette out on her leg when she didn’t see an ashtray. Noodle choked back a gasp. Did she always do that?“They are the best.” Noodle cracked. She couldn’t do this. She could feel herself shaking, this was a bad idea. She didn’t want to think about “betraying” their image with concrete answers. That doesn’t make any sense, but of course she was. She didn’t want to think about how many cigarettes 2d has put out on herself. Or how everything they did was monitored. She didn’t want to think about the closest thing she had to parents not seeing eye to eye. But of course she was. And of course she was thinking about them drifting apart.. again. She didn’t want these thoughts to lead to more thoughts. But of course they were. And they wouldn’t stop. She hated this fucking band. “I hate this fucking band.” she just now noticed her chin at her chest.“Come here, babe.”She almost pounced into 2d’s arms. They swayed back and forth, trying to find the crooks in each other where they could rest their heads. 2d scratched Noodle’s scalp gently, the same way she did when Noodle allowed herself to be held. Noodle took in the butterscotch scent that 2d somehow still had after nearly two decades. “I’m so tired!”“I know. I am too.”“Let’s run off. Let’s just go away. Just us girls, let’s just go away.”“Yeah.” 2d looked at nothing, shutting down the idea before it could crash. “We can raise chickens in Tobago.”Noodle laughed through her nose and started patting her eye.“Goats, too?”“Of course. Curried goats. And chocolate cows.”Neither of them wanted to move. The sudden flush of embarrassment that comes with talks like this overcame them. 2d kept playing with Noodle's hair. Usually she would have been pushed away by now. Noodle felt her starting a braid, she let it happen.“Honestly, the only person who understood this was Ace. And look what happened.”“Yeah. Nothing’s been the same since you took him out back and shot him.""Oh my god, Twoey.""I.. yeah." 2d pushed her hair behind her ear, as if she was physically taken aback by her own joke. "That was- hm.. sorry. Damn, I need to chill."Noodle started laughing. A real laugh. Laughing for what felt like the first time today."I can't believe he is gone!" her voice kept climbing higher on each word until she was shrieking. "R-I-P!""He's gone!" Noodle screamed. She rolled out of 2d’s grip. "Oh he's gone!"They kept yelling, relieved to hear each other's real laugh. Noodle's high pitched machine gun chirp and 2d “kee-kee”-ing at herself getting dizzy from throwing her head back.Noodle finally caught her breath. She covered the bottom half of her face with her hands and laid back. ‘D went back to work in her hair, making a new little project to commit herself to. Noodle inhaled as long as she could, if she would purr if she could. At least, for today, she felt better. She knows tomorrow, she’ll probably feel stuck again. And the day after that, and each day until she finally decides to leave this project. At least she’s not by herself in the nonsense. She focused on her breath and welcomed the sunlight coming through the window.She felt 2d’s hand snake out of her hair now that the impromptu hairstyle was finished. She opened her eyes to see the “amazon” look her up and down. Time for the artist deciding what they hate about their work. "How does it look?""Cute, like when you were little."Noodle rolled her eyes clawed her phone from her bed.“We will see about that.” she pointed at her dramatically. 2d faked a gasp. She squinted so she wouldn’t see what time it was and swiped to open the front camera. Her eyebrows raised, damn, she did look cute. It’s been a while since her hair was out of her face. 2d watched her scoot closer with that impish grin she somehow thinks is cute.“No.””Get in it.” “No ma’am.”“Get in the frame.”“Absolutely not.”"Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-""Oh my god."2d squirmed her way into the shot. Noodle made their faces fit to each other again and steadied the angle. Damn it ‘D, do a real smile.“I love you, you amazon.”She knew that would do it. “Aw. I love you, too, you little baby lesbian.”