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How were stars so damn far away from each other? You were so lost in the darkness between.
—There’s a reason that silence lingers in the room, overbrimming with tension. All that tension- no, call it disappointment- has a place to go. It’s you. You’re the cause for all that tension. All that disappointment.
From the corner- Mullet-head, glaring straight at you through that mullet-fringe with violet eyes. Wait. You don’t really have permission to call him anything degrading. Keith then.
Allura, hands clasped in front, standing tall and regally, and even glaring regaling at you- if that was possible. But still. Glaring straight at you, no mistake.
Pidge and Hunk, staring disappointedly from the couch. Hunk, your best friend- one that you had stood up for and one that had stood up for you for so long.
Worser still- Shiro, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed- and glaring straight at you. Your biggest idol. Not even bothering to hide the annoy and disappointment etched on his face.
And it just got even worse. Coran, nervously playing with his moustache from behind Allura, refusing to look at you, eyes skirting the whole room. He’s disappointed too. You can tell. And you were supposed to be his favourite.
Why?
Oh yeah, because you messed up. Again- big time though, this time. What did you do this time?
Well. In the middle of a full-scale battle with the newest robot-evil-creature-thingy from the Galra, you’d noticed the way the creature had to pause every few seconds to be able to fire again from the two gun-like appendages. So you’d thought of a plan where you could provoke the creature into shooting both ‘guns’ and then everyone could go for the exposed sides all at the same time- and bring it down. But as usual, no-one really did listen. It was another ‘Lance-trophe idea’ that’d never work. Right? It would have. You were sure. But nobody else seemed to agree. So what ended up happening?
You did- or tried to do- a flying kick. And obviously, you being you, it hadn’t worked and instead of giving an opening, all it did was cause Voltron to be hit by two very damaging balls of energy. You, in a very spectacular way and completely by yourself, made Voltron lose the fight. Really badly. A kick-move that no-one else was ready for and threw them off balance, opening up an opportunity for the giant-robot-opponent-thingy to shoot at them. Not only had everyone been injured, you’d gotten off the lightest. Shiro had the worst injuries- earning himself three days in the pod- everyone hovering anxiously around the pod the whole time. Everyone else had at least a couple of hours in the pod- you only had a few scratches.
That was what made it worse- you’d gotten off so easily. Maybe if you’d gotten hurt beyond three days in the pod, maybe they’d have been a little more sympathetic. But no. You pulled the short straw, again.
Allura was halfway through chewing you out on a lecture that you couldn’t hear through the white noise in your head. Even though you couldn’t exactly hear, you knew the context of her lecture was really bad- from the way even the usually stoic Pidge winced. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, the white noise receded from your head. In some ways, you appreciated it, because it distracted you and shielded you from the words. And now your only barrier was gone and you were open to Allura’s onslaught of terrible, cruel words.
“-jured everyone because you wanted to try some crazy move that put VOLTRON IN JEOPARDY. Quiznak- how many other mistakes are you going to cost us? Just because you say you’re the sharpshooter doesn’t mean you really are one, understand? Anyone can pick up a gun and learn to shoot it! Those earlier shots, they were practically just lucky flukes! If you’re going to continue this behaviour you will have to understand that we will have no choice but to search for a new paladin for the Blue Lion! Not only are you slowing Voltron down-“
White noise flared up, but it wasn’t quick enough. That really hurt.
Allura kept talking, and you could see her lips moving, could tell that she was saying more mean words, (mean, but… somewhat deserved no?) could tell that they were every bit as painful as the previous words. You shook your head subtly- if they’d listened, they wouldn’t be here like this now. But if you tried telling them the truth, they wouldn’t listen- Allura would shoot you down with a few sharp words again.
You’re not sure how long you stood there, looking blankly straight ahead, waiting for the torrent of words to stop. When it finally did, the white noise receded and shockingly loud silence dwelled in the space it left. It dawned on you that no-one remained in the room except for you and the princess- she looked especially tired. She left the room without another word, and then it was just you. After that, everyone started to leave you out of activities more commonly.First it was the beach party on the one planet that resembled Earth by 56%. You got left on your own in the castle- not a soul except for you and Blue- and you’d never known because you’d gotten drawn into an Altean book- you had been trying to learn the language while Blue was resting up. They'd come in afterwards when you'd be eating green goo by yourself in towels and soaked bathers- and they went out soon after as well, carrying marshmallows. You didn't even bother going outside. Homesickness would infect you if you did (but that wasn't the only reason why).Then it was one of the after-victory parties. Some lonely planet out in the cosmos that Voltron had freed from Galran rule- and you’d fallen asleep in your room, tired from the battle and no-one had called you. Blue left you to sleep because you were tired, but it wouldn’t have hurt half as bad if someone had at least told you. Then it was the movie night. One of the many, many movies Pidge had downloaded on her computer, and everyone had settled in- with popcorn no less (sure it was green and smelt like banana, but apparently it tasted like caramel popcorn) and once again, you’d been left out. And you’d been practising your hand-to-hand combat for six hours straight because you were lacking in it. After that kind of tiring training, you’d been heading to the common room to look at star-maps, but instead, you’d found them in the middle of a movie, laughing and certainly not missing your presence. You’d taken one look through the open door and had gone straight to your room. At least Blue was always there to help- the comforting presence always, always, always at the back of your mind. Blue, being the massive sentient robot lion she was, genuinely cared for you, like the other four lions. Even Black- he wasn’t so bad once you got to know him. Green came off as bored but got interested quick, Yellow was just shy, and Red just needed you to impress him, funny enough.You didn't know where you'd be today if it weren't for them keeping your insanity at bay. Funny how things worked. The other six occupants of the castle never bothered to care about you, so you had turned to sentient robots. This wasn't how space was supposed to be. You'd never meant to come here.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
You picked up the small picture-frame from your desk.Phantom laughter and joy rang in your head- everyone had been laughing over Mama being unable to hit Diego with her spatula when Marco had snuck up with the camera. It had been one of the last photos you’d taken with your family- an entire eternity ago, it seemed. It had been just before leaving for the Garrison- but the picture hadn’t been taken to capture the sadness when he’d left.Had it really been so long ago? You sighed again and set the picture frame down gently back where it belonged.Blue hummed in the back of your mind. Homesick? Would you like to look at the star maps? Green and Red echoed the thought not a moment later. You smiled unconsciously. It was a reflex to go look at star maps every time you felt vaguely homesick- the lions knew it well.Standing up, you strode over to the door still dressed in your casual clothes and stopped at the doorway to peer back. The photo-frame sat innocently as before, and a pang of sadness lit in your chest. You’d promised you’d return for Luis’s birthday- but it had been a lie. You’d missed more than just one by now. You turned and left the room as fast as you could- as if running away from the truth. There was no-one in the halls as you wandered slowly among them like a ghost.You spared a glance at the training room as you went by, but Keith was nowhere to be seen. You passed the kitchen soon after that, but Hunk wasn’t there- it lay empty. No sign of civilization. The main control room was silent, nothing indicated that anyone had come by in a way.You neck tingled. The castle was entirely silent no matter how much you strained your ears- no distant chatter, no noises of the living. Nothing- not even noises that would tell you if the enemy was here. Absolutely nothing. Before you could stop yourself, a tendril of hopeless panic took hold. Was there really no-one else here? Swallowing, trying to brush off your damn fears, you searched for the lion’s presences, but you couldn’t find anything. With that, the last of logical reasoning was gone and your steps quickened and you were practically running to the common room. The tendrils were branches and flowering poisoned fruit now, suffocating you. You skidded to a stop, threw open the doors with anticipation and rising hope, and then- empty. Empty, empty, empty.You heard something like a sob and was relieved for one quick second because it meant someone else was here, but you realized with crashing shame that it came from you. Utterly alone.You sprinted through the halls and slammed into the same blinding walls that had comforted you before.Your mind didn’t know where you were going, but your feet did apparently, so you let them lead you to the hangers without a moment’s thought."Blue! Blue!" Your shouts rang in the chamber but to you, it sounded like you were underwater. Your vision was hazy, starting to spot over with horrible black holes and your lungs were empty and constricting and you couldn't breathe. Nightmare. Just a goddamn nightmare please- A large blur of blue contrasted with the sharp white. Your heart stopped as your hope outlined the figure.Blue was there. Motionless, her yellow eyes unlit and empty, but there. Still here, so you weren't all alone. Unexpected calm washed over you like an ocean wave, and your lungs began to inflate with steadiness. As your vision cleared with some reluctance, colored blurs revealed the other lions, seated around Blue in the same position she was, in a strange order that distracted you from how you still couldn't feel Blue's presence. They were just like her- empty, colorless eyes and non-existant presences in the back of your mind, and you could feel some of the panic returning in full force. Was it too much to ask for a clear mind?The lights flickered ominously above you as you stood there motionless, watching the lions. They almost seemed dead. This could be any old nightmare, but none of the figures that usually showed up had well, not shown up. No creepy half-dead paladins crawling with gore dripping on the floor, no dead aliens blaming you for their death, no familiar family members sneering and playing with you like a puppet on strings. Why then, did you have a foreboding warning of something bad about to happen?A thunderclap of energy shot through the room, cutting your breath short and rebounding against the lions in a physical manifestation- miraculously missing you as it went by. You watched stunned as the bright flash ricocheted against the walls of the massive chamber, throwing sparking embers everywhere it left. Another thunderclap, and another; lines of energy created out of nothingness flashed by too fast for your eyes to follow as they shot into the lions, disappearing through the metal. This entire time, the lions had remained entirely motionless and dead-looking, but now they finally stirred as energy shot into them, their eyes lighting up with yellow brilliance you had always seen, and they were standing up like regal beats, silent and majestic, and then the energy failed all of a sudden. You weren't sure how you knew it- but you did.The castle seemed to groan, buckle under some sort of invisible pressure and the walls quaked. The lights went out without warning, plunging everything into a deep darkness that did nothing to quell your heightened panic. A metallic groan ran through the floors, and you almost lost your footing as tremors ran through the floors again. You felt in your bones the buildup of an entire buildup of energy, and it burst into blinding lights and seemed to warp time, and suddenly you were standing there again in a silent room of motionless lions exactly as you'd been a few minutes ago.The process had lasted less than two minutes, and already you were chalking it up as your overactive imagination- but the dull pain stabbing through your heart told you otherwise. This... really no nightmare. It was reality- messed up reality, but the messed up one was you. You stood still, and silence still reigned supreme and a cold hand wrapped itself around your small, fragile heart. Twisted reality, not a nightmare, but... a dream? No. It couldn't be real. A nightmare, a nightmare, a nightmare. They wouldn't- couldn't leave him, wouldn't leave him to suffer like this. Everything that had happened. It shouldn't be real. Was it real? No. Yes. Something roared, something loud but it came through like you were somewhere far away. Again it roared, but you paid no heed.
Reality.
A scream, or was it a sob? You couldn't tell who it was coming from, and you didn't want to find out.
You cared for them, but they didn't care for you. They left you.
Another roar- it shifted into a shout. "-nce!-"Blackened vision. They left you. All alone.
"LANCE-"
Opening your eyes, the familiar voice didn't belong to a familiar face. At some point you'd ended up on the floor curled into a ball with your eyes screwed shut, but now the calming aura of a complete stranger was leaning over you. Oh?An Altean with cascading sapphire hair and matching eyes almost the same shade as yours. Lilliac triangle thingy's with the same tapered ears like Allura's. She wore long white robes edged in gold and red, and she had a curling gold accessory on her left forearm. Who was this? "Lance, please calm down, it's me, B-" Before the implications could even hit your head, a Galra shoved the Altean aside and frantically lifted your crumpled form up by the sides. He then proceeded to shake you while saving some utterly random things until you were fairly certain you'd been thoroughly rattled. The first thoughts that ended up flying through your head in the typical 'Lance-style' was that you weren't aware this was how Galra attacked.That itself was such a ridiculous thought that, combined with the aftermath of your breakdown and the shock of seeing an enemy (and another live Altean at that), the only thing you could do was break into loud laughter. Both aliens stood still and gaped while you continued laughing like a maniac. The Galra set you down gently and moved back almost frightenedly.When you finally straightened, your words got stuck in your throat because the previous two that had just been standing there had multiplied into five.There was the Altean and Glara from before, as well as three more alien species you'd never seen before. The Altean stepped forward with her palms facing up. "Lance, let me explain-""How do you know my name?" At least it came out calmly. You took a step backward with your hand inching towards your blaster.The Altean took the hint. "See, I'm Blue. Well, I'm the Blue Lion. In the form of my first paladin." TShe stood there smiling hesitantly. Blue. Yep.Now that you had managed to somewhat calm down, you decided to give arguing with your brain on whether this was a dream, a nightmare, or real and just decided to go with the flow. Just to see where it would take you.The Galra steps forward. "I'm the Red Lion." Blunt, just like how Red would be (not to mention the exact same voice). He wore navy Galran armor that was almost black tinged with red shots, and his canary-yellow cautious eyes watched you with an intensity you couldn't place.An alien that you would classify as a 'big guy' stepped forward. "I'm the Yellow Lion- pleased to meet you in person?" He looked almost Balmeran, minus the uh 'lumpy parts' that Shay had, wearing something that looked like a human t-shirt with long sleeves that wrapped the edges around his forearms and trouser-like pants with a massive belt that seemed indefinitely heavy. He also had a heavy tail appendage that dragged on the ground behind him. He had indigo eyes- similar to Keith, now that you thought about it. The fourth alien to step forward looks practically humanoid except for the tall white antennae things on her head. "I'm the Green Lion," and you noticed that as she spoke small white fangs flicked in and out of appearance- like a vampire. She wore a greenish robe tucked into a practical black belt with a knee-length cape made of what seemed to be leaves and knee-high brown boots. Her skin was beige, with strange patches of grey skin and bright emerald eyes.The last alien looked incredibly formidable- if by following logic, he was the Black Lion. "I am Black," he said, confirming your thoughts. The funny thing that completely ruined the whole 'intimidating presence' vibe he had going, was that he was literally black. (Not in a racist way, just pointing out facts.) His skin was completely black- or such a deep dark blue he might as well as have been pitch-black, decorated with tiny white spots and smears of different muted colors like an entire galaxy of stars. He wore an off-the-shoulder cloak over a robe similar to the Altea-Blue's. His robe was black with silver designs edging up from the bottom, and he also had ram-like horns curling backward on top of his head."Please explain-" you couldn't stop the words from sounding like a demand, but the five didn't seem to mind. The Galran-Red seemed to relax (or least stopped tensing as much), the uh- Green uncrossed her arms, the half-Balmeran (?)- Yellow and the Altean- Blue smiled as encouragingly as they could. The other alien- Black, remained in the same stance, exactly how you'd imagine Black would act."Well, you see-" Blue looked happy to explain, but then her face suddenly dropped and you had to wonder if you'd done something wrong. "We were worried. About you." Oh.That wasn't necessarily new coming from Blue, but it felt odd, since no-one had actually deigned to vocally (or in actions) make their worry for you known. If they had any, to begin with."We thought a lot on this matter, and we came to a decision. We just didn't ask you because you'd be the sort of person to deny someone doing something for you, so." Green cut in 'matter-of-fact'-edly. You couldn't say anything, because it was actually true, but that didn't mean you had to agree wholeheartedly with it. Where were they going with this anyways?"It was completely a joint-decision to transfer our consciousness's to well, the carbon copies of the first paladins. So now we can actually be here in person to help you out whenever needed!" Yellow said enthusiastically."The only problem was that we didn't know if the process would work because this is the first time we tried anything like this. It could have caused a disturbance in quintessence fields if this had gone wrong. Well, it had actually kind of failed." Green tried to explain in simple terms you could understand. At first you found it in yourself to feel offended but realized quickly that she was just trying to be kind."The process of transferring and creating copies had failed halfway, which is why the castle seemed to lose all its power at one point. The fields were warping, it-" noticing the lost look on your face, "- basically the castle started crushing itself because it couldn't handle the energy output. You weren't supposed to be in here to begin with because you could have gotten injured." Black carried on. "We were counting on the paladins being outside and away from harm if anything had gone wrong, but then you came in here just as everything failed-!" Red added. "Outside…?" you echoed, the only thing you could concern yourself with at the moment, what with all of the information being delivered to your brain. "Yes, the celebration of the freedom of the Acguatlis." Blue answered. Spotting the look on your face- "Did you not know?" She trailed off uncertainly, and you shook your head slowly.
They hadn't told you again.
Blue and the others exchanged strange glances that you couldn't make heads or tails of."Well anyways, like Black said, the process had failed, but it started up again. We think it was due to your added quintessence in the room." She paused, looked up. "You could have been injured badly! This could have gone so wrong-!"This rush of concern felt uncomfortable with you. It was too much right now. On the other hand, did this mean that they were bonded (or something) to you because of this shared quintessence? Oh well."The process started again, but it succeeded the second time, and that's how we're standing before you now. Our normal bodies-" Black gestured to the motionless robot lions you only just remembered now, "will remain 'empty'- in a word- until we return. These physical bodies will be swept back to the Astral Plane, where they will remain until we need to use them again."The Astral plane- you remember reading about it. An interesting sort of mind dimension- you'd have to research some more on it after this. You were thankful that they outlined every point as simply as they could, and somehow, that small gesture of thoughtfulness was enough to cause a few tears to fall from your eyes. Blue edged forward nervously, looking like she honestly wanted to scoop you up into a hug. "No... It's alright-" you brushed the tears away. "Continue, please." You wanted this done and over with. Then you could cry properly. Blue nodded. "That's everything we can explain to you right now." Blue nodded again. "So, do you have any questions…?" It felt like they'd just presented well, a presentation and you were the only audience."Why did you do this?"The relaxed air compressed into something very tense. They exchanged more glances with each other as if trying to decide if they wanted to explain or not. You could only assume it was bad news."Well, doing this would mean we could actually come help in physical forms instead of standing there helpless at the back of your mind-" Yellow begun as calmly as he could, and Red finished the thought."Because none of the ones who should be caring for you are actually caring for you-" Red was growling by the end and got cut off by Black. "That's enough."You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.It would be a lie if you said that something like that hurtful thought had never crossed your mind- you'd just refused to accept it because it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Surely someone had an ounce of care for you. Surely someone worried about you. Surely someone cared about you.You kept naively denying all the visible signs that came your way. If even the Lions- sentimental robot lions- could say something like this with no filter- Realization hit like a bullet, and it hurt.
Gods.
That goddamn hurt.The lions- or the paladins, or the lions as paladins, whatever- must have realized the world of pain you were in, because everyone came forward to wrap you in a hug that you couldn't push away.The paladins. They'd never cared.