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Edge narrowed his sockets, eyeing Rus up and down. It was seldom that he found the sweatpants and hoodie combo arousing, but right now, it was making his magic incredibly agitated. “Well?” he said impatiently. “Are you just going to stand there gawking at me?”Rus smiled weakly and sighed, approaching the bedside. “how long have you been like this?”“A couple of days.” Edge avoided his eye.“a couple of days! edgelord, why didn’t you call me sooner, you dumb bastard?”“I didn’t think it would get this bad,” Edge snapped. “And… my heats can be difficult to—to control.” He didn’t tell Rus he’d spent two hours tethering his LV before he’d called. It was still rippling just beneath the surface, itching to escape. He needed this. Now. “I don’t want to put you in harm’s way,” he said, breathing out.Rus sat down on the bed, crossing his legs. “don’t put yourself through this pain on my behalf. i can take care of you.” He touched Edge’s arm with cool fingertips, and a shiver ran down Edge’s spine. Swallowing, he shook his head.“I don’t think you understand. My LV…” He didn’t miss the fear that flickered across Rus’s face. His LV still unsettled Rus. He tried to hide it, but Edge didn’t miss the way he flinched when he raised his voice too much, or the way he shrunk in on himself when Edge got angry. “If you leave now, I won’t be upset with you,” he said, resigned.“no.” Rus shook his head firmly and shuffled closer to Edge. “i’m staying. come on, let’s get these clothes off.” Edge hid a smile. Clearly, Rus’s obstinance exceeded his fear. He was relieved—and a touch guilty for feeling so.Rus unbuttoned his shirt, his delicate fingers brushing Edge’s ribs. Edge watched his hands, so careful and practiced, and touched Rus’s face. Rus smiled at him as he reached for his jeans. Mouth flooding with magic, Edge drew Rus down and kissed him softly. Rus sighed against his mouth and ran his hands down his spine. Magic shuddered through Edge and he turned them over, lowering Rus onto his back and straddling his hips. He deepened their kiss and Rus murmured, “let me get your pants off.”Edge pulled back a centimetre. “You first.” Rus’s face flushed and his eye-lights dilated, glittering gold. He tugged off his sweatpants while Edge removed his shirt, using the opportunity to take him in, every enticing inch of him. Magic condensed at his pelvis, burning insistently, and he leaned down, closing his mouth around Rus’s floating ribs. His teeth scraped softly against the bone and Rus exhaled.“what do you want, sweetheart?” he whispered. “talk to me.”“Your cock,” Edge said, rubbing Rus’s pelvis coaxingly. Rus’s response was quick. His length pressed against Edge’s femur, and Edge purred, grinding against it with his own magic. His cunt was slick, and there was a dull burn in his pelvic cavity.“you want me to prep you?” Rus asked, reaching for his cunt. Edge snatched his wrist and pulled it away, a hostile burn igniting within him. Rus winced softly and the impulse faded just as quickly as it had built. Edge loosened his grip, his soul twisting.“I—I’m sorry. No, no I don’t need prep. I can’t wait.”Rus nodded slowly. “okay. just... take it easy, love.”“I know, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to…”“i know.”“I won’t hurt you, I promise.” More a promise to himself than to Rus. Smiling, Rus took his hand and kissed across his knuckles.“i know you won’t.”Shutting his eyes, Edge gathered his composure and pressed both Rus’s hands above his head. Rus was compliant, lying back. “Just—let me control this, okay?” Edge said steadily. “I need to be able to control it.”“it’s all you, sweetheart,” Rus said patiently. Breathing out, Edge adjusted his position in Rus’s lap, lining his cock up. He sank onto it and Rus let out a quiet moan. “shit…” Edge kept going, taking him deeper. It pinched a little, the pressure just too much, but his need for sex overwhelmed his discomfort. His heat curled within him, like flames licking at the inside of his ribcage. He took Rus all the way and grunted, sucking in slow, deep breaths. “you good, precious?” Rus asked. “don’t overdo it.”“I’m fine,” Edge said, sharper than intended. He lifted his hips and sank down again, the slide easier this time. Gradually, he built a comfortable rhythm, rocking in Rus’s lap. Rus closed his eyes, magic rushing to his face. Soft waves of it coloured his bones as sweat built on his skull. Leaning down, Edge kissed his parted teeth, and the tight coils of pressure in him loosened.He pressed himself against Rus’s chest, listening to him whine as he rode him slowly. “edge, oh…” Rus bucked into him and he grunted, his pleasure building. He rubbed his clit, inhaling as Rus moaned.“You sound so beautiful,” he gasped, gripping Rus’s jaw and kissing him hard. “Fuck, I’m—I’m so close, oh…” He pressed his face into the crook of Rus’s neck, breathing him in. Rus gave a cry and his warm release filled Edge.Discomfort twinged in Edge’s soul, his climax still not quite there. He needed to reach his own peak before his frustration made him erratic. He closed his eyes, clinging tightly to control, and drew Rus into his arms, riding him hard. Rus clung to him, nibbling on his shoulder, then squirmed, giving a soft groan of overstimulation. “Sorry,” Edge breathed, “I’m n—nearly there.”“s’okay, love,” Rus said breathlessly. “i’m right here.” Edge rubbed his clit hard, gasping and impaling himself on Rus’s cock. He squeezed Rus’s shoulders, pushing himself to his climax. As his orgasm pulsed through him, he clutched on hard, and Rus yelped. “ah—a bit tight there, precious, and i don’t mean your cunt.”“Fuck—I’m sorry,” Edge grunted, letting go all at once and rolling off him. Still reaching for the final threads of pleasure, he rubbed his clit, soaking in the aftershocks of his orgasm. He panted, his voice strained. “I didn’t mean to—did I hurt you?”“no, i’m okay, sweetheart. i’m just fine.” Rus was breathing heavily beside him, lying on his back. He wiped sweat off his skull and rolled over. “okay, dick is out of commission for a few minutes…” He reached for Edge. “but i can still—”Edge pushed his hand away. “No, I’m done for now.”Rus blinked. “are you sure?” he asked, shifting closer. “heats take longer than that to get rid of.”Edge closed his eyes. His LV was battering against his carefully constructed walls, as if the sex had only weakened them. Keeping his cool, he exhaled, nodding. “It’s okay. I—I need to stop. For now. Maybe we can continue later.”Rus’s expression crinkled with worry, but he nodded. “if that’s what you need.” He fidgeted, then slid off the bed, tugging on his pants. “okay, well… i can come back later, or—”“Stay with me.” Edge swallowed. “Please.” He shouldn’t have asked. He knew he shouldn’t be trying to keep Rus here. So selfish, so utterly selfish. But he needed him. If he left, there would be nothing keeping Edge from snapping.And of course, Rus complied at once. With a relieved smile, he climbed back into bed with Edge, snuggling against his shoulder. “of course, i’m right here.” He kissed Edge’s cheek, settling against him. Edge couldn’t return his smile. The guilt was suffocating him. But he did hold Rus, breathing him in, and reminded himself he had a reason to keep himself together. It would be enough. It had to be.
****
Rus wasn’t entirely surprised when he awoke to Edge’s warm magic and wandering hands. He laughed sleepily and shifted back into him, feeling his hot breaths against his neck. “ready for round two, precious?” Edge was silent, but he was pushing himself very persistently into Rus, who squirmed. “alright, edgelord, at least let me get my pants off before you…” He trailed off as he turned over, his soul turning to ice.Edge’s sockets were blank, his expression cold and vacant. This wasn’t Edge. This was—he was losing himself. Rus took a deep breath, not daring to move. He reminded himself that Edge hadn’t hurt him. Yet. He—he could still handle this. He lifted his hand, brushing Edge’s jaw with his fingertips. “sweetheart—edge. it’s me. it’s rus.” He cursed the quaver in his voice. His soul was beating so rapidly he could hear it.Edge tilted his head in an unnatural, stiff movement, and Rus flinched. He gave a gentle push with his magic, projecting a gentle wave of calm. “it’s okay,” he whispered faintly. “i’m not going to hurt you.” You’re not going to hurt me. “i just want to help…” He rested his palm against Edge’s face, looking determinedly into the black space in his sockets. He took a deep breath. “it’s going to be o—AH!” A scream tore from his throat as Edge caught onto his wrist, crushing it in his grip. He pushed Rus into the mattress and towered over him. The air was sharp and static, and Rus trembled.“it’s just me,” he whispered in a fragile voice. “edge—” He whimpered when Edge growled quietly, his hold on Rus tightening. His wrist throbbed. The joints felt shattered. “please,” Rus sobbed. “edge, please—” Edge caught him around the throat and he choked. His grip wasn’t hard enough to cut off Rus’s air, but the way he dug his fingertips between Rus’s vertebrae made them seer with pain. Rus was frozen, too terrified to struggle.Tears burned his sockets, and he closed them. He didn’t want this to be his last memory of Edge…“... Rus?” Edge’s voice was faint, and a touch confused. Then, more frantic, “Rus! Fuck, I—no, no, no. I didn’t—” He scrambled away and Rus opened his eyes, still rooted in his position. Edge’s eye-lights were blown wide with panic—eye-lights. He was himself. “I—I hurt you,” he said brokenly.Rus winced, trying not to let Edge see his tears. “no... it’s nothing… it’s—it’s okay.” His wrist ached deeply, and his throat felt raw. “i’m f—ine.” He choked on the word and squeezed his sockets shut, ducking his head. He couldn’t move the fingers on his right hand.“No, no, it’s not fine. I hurt you… I hurt you, Rus!” Edge pulled back when Rus tried to crawl closer. “Stay back! Don’t—”Rus swallowed, shaking his head determinedly. “it’s okay, you—you still need help. you need me. let me h—”Edge held him at arm’s length, shaking his head wildly. “Don’t come near me, you idiot! Get out!”Tears blurred Rus’s vision, but he persisted. “let me s-stay,” he whimpered. “edge, please…”“Get out!”Rus flinched, pulling back sharply. Edge’s eye-lights were burning red, and magic flared at his hands. A sob wracked Rus’s chest and he teleported away, landing in the darkness of his own living room. He fell back against the wall and slid to the floor, hugging himself. His whole body was shaking, and he couldn’t stop sobbing. He cradled his wrist to his chest. The pain was growing sharper and more incessant. His vertebrae throbbed.But more than anything, there was a deep, longing ache in his chest, right at the centre of his soul. He buried his face in his knees and cried. He just wanted Edge to hold him.