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It was no mystery that Roger Taylor didn’t like Paul Prenter, not at all. It was also no mystery that Paul Prenter didn’t like Roger Taylor, not in the slightest. Actually, the whole Band, except their frontman, didn’t like Prenter. Through the years of getting to know him and seeing what a complete arsehole and bad influence he was for Freddie, Roger, Brian as well as John had started to absolutely hate him.In the early beginning of meeting him, Brian and John didn’t think that bad of him however though, they soon discovered Prenter to be the worst person they ever had experienced to meet.Roger, unlike Brian and John, always had a grudge against that ‘bloody wanker’ for he somehow always knew that Paul was up to something; that he was just using his best friend; that he was just feasting on him, seducing him, making him do things the Freddie they all knew would never do.The band met Prenter in the mid-70s already, though his influence on Freddie started to get more serious, more diseased, more obsessive during the time QUEEN recorded and then released their Album ‘Hot Space’.It was all downhill from there. And what happened on a cold rainy day in November 1982, not too long after the end of their 'Hot Space Tour', was climactic of the extreme.The Band was about to meet to discuss how things would continue from now on. It was no secret that their new Album wasn’t that much of a success as their previous ones and that they were all drained and tired and in need of a good long break. Just a break, no breaking up, obviously.That day they decided to meet at Brian’s and Roger’s place to talk about the band’s development, how to continue and other important stuff that was desperately needed to be talked about, John was the first one to arrive, which wasn’t surprising at all after all Freddie was pretty much always late. “I’m getting it!” John heard Brian calling out from inside the house, while he was waiting in the pouring rain outside. “Deacy, hey. How are you?” Brian greeted him smiling, as he opened the door.“Come on in.” “Hey mate. I’m good.” John smiled back before closing the door behind him and scraping his shoes on the doormat before hanging his wet jacket on the hallstand next to the frontdoor.“I always forget how big this place is.” He joked while following Brian further into the house. Brian just laughed at that comment but there was no way Deacy would have missed the taller man’s proud and happy expression.Before the drummer and the guitarist moved into their own four walls, they still lived in a flat to keep the relationship they were in a secret and to not raise too much attention on it. Though, after almost eight years of being together, hiding became tiring and exhausting plus rumours had already been starting to spread and there would never be a way to stop them anyway.Therefore, one day the couple thought ‘fuck it’ and finally bought their own house together. About bloody time, the rest of the band had said. “I believe Freddie isn’t there yet.” The bassist added looking around the lounge before sitting down on one of the Sofas. “Yep, you believed right.” Roger suddenly intruded as he appeared from the kitchen with two cups of tea.“I bet his bloody pet his keeping him busy.” He added, with a facial expression which literally screamed for disgust and hatred the drummer felt towards Fred’s pet; Prenter, obviously. “Love, we talked about this,” Brian said softly, putting his hand on the smaller man’s back, knowing very well how much his partner hated this man. Of course, Brian did too, but he thought he wasn’t worth getting upset about. “Yeah, I know it’s just … that man…” He started but stopped quickly after, knowing he wouldn’t do anyone any good if he started with that topic now. Brian was right. So, instead, he took a deep breath and turned to John. “Sorry. How are you doing?” Roger greeted him smiling at his friend now before handing him one of the cups. “I’m good. Thanks. How about you guys?” The bassist asked while making himself comfortable.“Enjoying the domestic life?” Roger giggled and nodded. “Yeah, not too bad, either,” Brian said, smiling widely, before thanking his boyfriend for the tea he made him as well.“There’s not much to do now that the tour is over, really. Though, I genuinely think a little break is necessary, anyway.” “Yeah, I agree.” John nodded while sipping on his tea.“A break would do no one any harm. We all need it especially Freddie.” John sounded worried now.In fact, all three were quite worried about their best friend, especially in the last couple of months he hasn’t been his usual self. Not the Freddie Mercury John, Brian, and Roger knew so well. “True. What Freddie needs the most is a break from this rat.” Roger added obviously meaning Paul.“He just needs to fuck off.” John nodded, agreeing to one hundred percent with his blond friend. “All that bloody idiot is doing to him, is being a bad influence and getting Freddie to do things he would never do.” He continued and everyone knew what he was referring to.“We all can see that, right? I’m not alone here. He doesn’t do Fred any good. It was bad enough before the tour already but I feel like it’s getting worse, really.” Roger continued. His heart started to race in fury only thinking about that man and what he was doing to his friend. It didn’t go unnoticed by the other two and so the guitarist put his hand around his shoulder once again, in the hope this would make his boyfriend calm down a bit. “I swear, I’m going to address that topic today. And I don’t care if Freddie will like it or not. I can’t have some idiot destroy our best friend.” Roger went on, his voice was drawn with pure anger.“We all know what he is doing to him. We ignored it for far too long. I won’t have it. Not anymore.” Brian and John once again agreed, even though they were both worried and wondered as to how Roger would want to make Freddie understand what kind of a man Paul Prenter really was. “We are with you, love but you need to calm down now, okay? This won’t do you any good either and you know that.” Brian said gently, his arm still around his shoulder. The guitarist expected his boyfriend to object but the drummer surprisingly just nodded, knowing Brian was right. Once again. “Anyway, how are Veronica and the kids, John?” Brian asked eventually after a few seconds of trying to calm down his boyfriend and to change the topic. To Brian’s and John’s amazement Roger’s expression turned from the pure disgust of the thought of Prenter into a soft smile while thinking about John’s family. “They’re fine. Ronnie sends her regards, by the way. Said it’s been too long and we should meet for Dinner some time in the future,” He smiled before sipping on his tea again. “Fantastic idea,” Brian replied and Roger agreed. “Actually, there is something else-” John went on, looking rather excited at the two men.“- we’ve got some news.” “Some news?” Brian asked, frowning, wondering what would follow. “Come on, bloody tell us, Deacy. Don’t leave us on tenterhooks.” Roger joked as John just smiled instead of saying something right away. “Actually, I wanted to wait until Fred’s here but it seems it’ll still take some time until he arrives,” John started.“Anyway, Ronnie is expecting again.” The bassist beamed, radiant with happiness while these words left his mouth. “No way! Congratulations, mate!” Roger was the first one to stand on his feet and to hug his best friend. “That’s such great news! Congrats, Deacs.” Brian said, smiling widely before hugging him as well. “Jeez, you two must have been pretty busy. A break really won’t do you any harm then, I suppose. Good job, Deacy. ” The drummer joked, though absolutely happy for him and Veronica.“That would be number four then, right?” He went on, smiling before sitting down again. “Yeah. Number four,” John laughed and nodded.“Thanks, guys.” The boys talked a bit more about it; that they definitely would have to meet for Dinner some time soon so they could give Veronica their good wishes in person as well as about Roger’s plan to convince Veronica that he would be the best choice for a godfather for their new baby.Even though Brian and Roger were more than just happy for the bassist, knowing they would probably never be able to have kids running around in their own house made them a bit weary. Maybe one day, they thought. There must be a way.However, those sad thoughts were quickly shoved aside as finally, the doorbell rang. “I reckon, this must be Fred,” Brian said, looking at his watch. It was almost 4 pm and they actually intended to meet at around 3 pm but this was typical for their lead singer and they didn’t expect anything else, to be honest. “Fucking finally,” Roger exclaimed as he was about to get up from where he was sitting to open the door though only to find that Brian was quicker and already on his way. “About time, Fred. Deacy is already –“ Brian said while opening the door but stopped talking halfway at the sight of the man next to his friend. “Brian, Darling. How are you?” Freddie greeted him before getting in, closely followed by no one other than Paul Prenter. Damn it.Brian gulped, Roger was so not going to like having Freddie’s “Pet” in their house. Needless to say, that the guitarist himself and John, at that matter, didn’t like having him around either. All he was doing was causing troubles, disagreements, and fights. “Sorry, we are late, my Dears. We were busy and time really seems to fly sometimes.” Freddie went on while entering the lounge where Roger and John were waiting. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Roger said upon seeing Paul.“This is a band meeting. There’s no need to bloody bring him along.” He added, clearly pissed, looking from Prenter to his best friend. John suddenly tensed up. He knew this was not going to end well. He looked over to Brian who had the same thought on his mind and the same expression in his face as the bassist; he was just as tense. “Well, he kind of is a part of the band, Blondie,” Freddie said as if it was nothing, while Paul gave Roger the evillest look, he was capable of doing. “Not for me he is fucking not.” “Give him break, rainbow. It’s fine. It’s not like I brought along the devil himself,” ‘No, you brought along worse.’ The other three men thought. “Also, in case you didn’t know but Freddie invited me to join. He wanted to.” Prenter remarked, his evil grin not leaving his face as he walked towards the blond to give him a slap on his shoulder, though the drummer didn’t let it come so far and immediately shoved Paul’s arm aside. “Indeed, I did,” Freddie reassured. “Well, this is my house and I don’t want him here.” Roger spat out. “Not everything is about you, Roger. Oh, and by the way, I’m right here. You don’t have to talk about me in the third person.” Paul said, his voice amused about that fact that Roger was clearly getting madder with every passing second. “Shut your damn mouth, will ya?” The drummer replied. “If you really want him to go, then he will go but I’m going to join him.” “Oh, don’t be so fucking ridiculous, Fred.” Brian finally said after watching that scene for far too long without saying anything. “You know what!? That’s fucking it.” Roger was fuming, so instead of saying something else and doing something he would regret later, he took the packet of cigarettes which was lying on the table and left the room.“When I come back this man should better be bloody gone.” Brian and John shared a worried look. The guitarist wanted to follow his boyfriend to make sure he was alright but he also knew that in times like these Roger just needed to be alone for a second to calm down. The curly-haired man looked back from where Roger had just left the room at Paul and Freddie in front of them. “Was that really necessary?” He asked the two men.“Rog is right. This is a band meeting which means between the four of us. It always has been only the four of us. Rog said it and John and I are going to say it again. Just leave Paul, will you?” Brian said eventually, trying to be as reasonable as possible with the man standing next to one of his best friends. “It’s not my fault that the blonde princess is overreacting, I didn’t do anything. You better get your boyfriend under control before blaming me,” Prenter explained, his voice just as amused as it was before; trying to get away with it by sounding innocent. Brian wouldn’t want to believe his ears.“Quit talking about my boyfriend like that, understood?” The guitarist said calmly though yet his voice was full of annoyance. “Seriously, mate, it’s better if you just fuck off already,” John added slyly which caused Freddie but especially Paul to look at him with a rather surprised expression.“You are not needed here anymore,” The bassist quickly added. “Alright. Alright. I’ll leave.” He eventually gave in, holding up his hands jokingly in surrender, obviously not taking any of this serious. What confused Brian and John, even more, was the unpleasantly satisfied tone Paul used while doing so. “I will see you later then,” Paul turned his head to Freddie, smirking at him before leaving the lounge. No one noticing that he was taking the same way Roger had been taking instead of using the front door to piss off.It took a couple of seconds for Freddie to comprehend what just happened, clearly, he seemed utterly confused. “What the hell, Darlings? Where does all the fury come from all of the sudden?!” The singer asked as soon as Paul had left the room. “All of the sudden?!” Brian repeated his voice before laughing bitterly.“You are high again, aren’t you?” “Well deducted, love. Does it matter, anyway?” “I never thought you could get that low,” John added, sounding rather disappointed but hurt and worried at the same time. ~~~ Roger took another puff of his cigarette, trying to calm down and hoping that as soon as he would finish that smoke and would return to the lounge, Paul would be gone.He was standing outside on the terrace, which was partly roofed, thankfully because otherwise, he would be soaking wet by now for it was still bucketing down plus, he promised Brian to not smoke inside the house, anyway so smoking inside was no option either.He was mad and angry but more so was he hurt and disappointed. He knew Freddie for so long now. They’d even shared a flat and they’d worked together in the tiny stall down at Kensington Market before they were able to make a proper living so many years ago and now it seemed like this arsehole of a man with the name Paul Prenter seemed to be more important to Freddie than any of them.Of course, they all still loved the singer, he was still their best friend also did they all knew Freddie wasn’t to blame for what was happening right now, it was mostly Prenter’s fault. That snake, who was taking advantage of him and his fame.God, Roger could throw up at the thought of him and what he was doing to Freddie. “Hiding outside, aren’t we? Can’t handle the pressure, huh?” Roger almost jumped as got ripped out of his thoughts by that familiar but disgusting voice he sadly knew pretty well by now. The drummer turned around, facing the source of the voice.
Prenter, who else.
“I thought I told you to fucking leave my house?” Roger said, taking the last puff.“What’s so hard to understand?” He continued, throwing away the cigarette's end.“Oh, and please while you are at it, do me a favour and disappear out of our lives completely.” Paul just laughed at his comment.“You can’t always have things your way. Fred wouldn’t want me to just disappear he made that clear enough a couple of times. That won’t happen. Sorry to disappoint you.” “As fucking if. Tell that to the fucking marines!” Roger spat, facial expression full of disgust again.“What do you want from him?! You’ve done your part! You bloody turned him into someone he is fucking not. What else do you want?!” Roger raised his voice, though it was drowned out by the sound of the rain that was pouring down. “The question is what does he want and I think we both know the answer to that,” Paul replied, though not as confident as before. “What does he want?!” The drummer fake-laughed.“Are you fucking serious?! Fred didn’t ask for you to be part of his life. You were the one. You are the one who searched for love and comfort, it wasn’t him. Fred’s already got people who love and care for him; a family. You fucking don’t. You destroy him. You fucking misuse him, you make him do things the Freddie we know would never do. So, tell me, why are you doing it?! Is because you never had someone to fucking love you? Tell me, what is it you bloody want?” Roger was screaming at top of his lounges now. The last part of Roger’s ‘speech’, if you can call it that, really must have been the final straw for Prenter because upon hearing the comment about him never having someone in his life who truly loved him, Paul saw red. He hauled off and punched Roger in the face with all the strength he got.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“What are you talking about?” Freddie asked, confused and not quite sure what the bassist was meaning with his question. “Well, I simply never thought you could sink that low,” John repeated his words from before. “Care to elaborate, Darling?” “Can’t you see what Prenter is doing to you?” Brian suddenly interfered. “What he is doing to me?!” “Yes, what he is bloody doing to you! Can’t you see it?! He is destroying you, Fred. He did it for far too long now and we … John, Rog and I, we can’t watch him ruining you any further. He is using you, for Christ’s sake. Open your eyes.” Fred looked at his two friends, eyes wide open, clearly confused with what was happening ever since he stepped a foot into his friend’s house.Where was this all coming from? All the hatred against Prenter? “He cares about me. Other than you he is there for me!” Freddie eventually spat out and you could literally see the pain in Brian’s and John’s eyes as he said that. “Fred, stop. You don’t know what you are talking about.” Brian eventually said, clearly hurt. Roger was right all along. Paul’s influence on his friend was only getting worse. “This isn’t you talking. We care for you. We always have. You’ve been our best friend for so many years now and you still are, don’t let that idiot control you,” John desperately tried to talk some sense into him. He as well as Brian were well aware that what his friend was talking about was Prenter’s work; that he was the one planting those sick and diseased thoughts and lies in the singer’s mind. “John, you have your family. You’re busy with Veronica and the kids when we aren’t recording or on tour. And Brian, you and Roger, you’ve been together for nine years or so, you have your own house now, you have each other and if it would be biological possible you would have a bunch of kids running around as well.” Fred stopped for a second, facing his friends.“Each of you has the perfect life and what about me? I’m sick of being alone. Paul is the only one who can make me feel less alone. He understands me unlike you,” “Do you even hear yourself talking? You’re out of your mind. Why would you say that?! Every one of us has his Ups and Downs from time to time. Life isn’t perfect but you are not alone, you never have been. You’ve got us, we’re your family,” Brian tried once more, his voice earnest but drawn with pain still.“Can’t you see it yourself? Prenter isn’t doing you any good. We just want the old Freddie back. The things you say and do, none of this is you!” “Well, I’m afraid this is me, Darling!” The singer replied stubbornly. “How can you be so blind? We just want to help you, you need us,” John was the one saying those words now, his voice just as hurt as Brian’s. “I don’t need you or your help.” Freddie snapped back. This was like a punch in the face for Brian and John. The room went quiet all of the sudden, only the rain that was pelting down on the roof and against the windows was to hear now.When did all this happen? Why did they let it come so far? “I’m-“ Freddie began again, though he quickly shut his mouth. If the guitarist and the bassist didn’t know any better, they would have said, that there was a little bit of regret in Freddie’s eyes, as if he wished to be able to take the last words back. But the singer didn’t say anything after that anymore, instead he simply kept on looking at his two friends in front of him, waiting for whatever.Shaking his head in disbelief, John stood up from where he was sitting after a little while and made his way across the room, heading for the kitchen to make himself another cup of tea and to let the conversation they just had sink in.This was really way out of control. They should have held this conversation much, much earlier. Roger had been right from the start on. Why did it take them so long to address that topic in the first place? If they would have said and done something earlier none of this would be happening right now. ~~~ Even though Roger knew that Prenter was capable of doing a lot of awful crap, he wasn’t prepared for this; he wasn’t prepared for Prenter actually aiming for his face with a clenched fist.The blonde had never been in a fight himself or part of a fight, at that matter. Obviously, he had witnessed them a couple of times in pubs and suchlike but never was he involved in any quarrels that later led to fist-flying conflicts. The drummer might be wild and reckless sometimes and of course, he was quite famous for being involved in arguments and discussions but getting into an actual fight where one could get physically hurt was something he had always thoughtfully avoided and that as good as possible.Now that the punch was unexpected for Roger there was no time left for him to react, to get down and to take cover. So, Prenter managed to hit him directly in his face.The blonde let out a painful scream.His nose was broken instantly, though he didn’t feel the pain yet due to all the adrenalin that was rushing through his body. His heart was still racing like crazy, out of anger, rage, and disgust and on top of that, upon the punch, he was now also quite shocked and he needed a bit to realize what just happened.Due to the force of the other man’s fist meeting his face, the drummer stumbled back a few steps, both his hands immediately touching the spot where Prenter had hit him, only to feel a warm and thick-ish liquid on his face. It took him a couple of seconds to understand that he was bleeding from the nose but once he saw the red colour on his hands as he looked at them, it manifested itself and he knew that this was a bad sign.Because of Roger’s earlier stumbling back he was now completely standing in the rain, parts of his shirt now red too for the rain was washing the blood from his face down onto his clothes.He was dizzy and it felt like he was about to lose all sense of direction like he was drunk.Then finally he started to feel the pain which the rush of adrenalin was restraining before. His head suddenly hurt like hell and he could literally see stars for he got punched full force. He was unsteady on his feet though surprisingly still standing and he could still make out the man in front of him with his evil grin as he was taking a few steps forward, closer to Roger.Angrier now than ever, the blonde tried to do what the other man just had done to him; he tried to punch him back. He wanted to scream at that sick man while doing so and tell him to piss off and to leave them all alone, including Freddie, though he couldn’t get to it because as soon as he opened his mouth and hauled off himself to put his plan and thoughts into action, Paul stroke again.This time the left side of Roger’s face had to suffer plus, unfortunately for the blonde, Prenter seemed to have put more force into this particular punch than he had put into the first one.Once again, Roger screamed out in pain.His ears were ringing and he couldn’t make out any sound around him anymore. Yet again, he had to take a few steps back in order to keep his balance. To make matters worse though, while he was doing so, he stumbled backwards, overlooking a rather big flowerpot that was standing right behind him.This time he couldn’t keep his balance anymore and he fell. His head hitting the hard paving of the patio.Before the blonde’s mind went blank caused by the immense pain that he was in and the heavy impact, he could make out a man, that he believed to be John, who seemed to be calling out for someone before shoving Prenter away so he wouldn’t cause any more harm. ~~~ Who knew what else would have happened if John didn’t make his way to the kitchen to make himself another cup of tea? Who knew how long Roger would have laid in the pouring rain on the cold patio if John wouldn’t have heard his scream of pain only seconds before?It was a blessing in disguise that the back door to the terrace wasn’t shut completely otherwise he wouldn’t have heard anything but the rain.The bassist wasn’t there when the first punch happened though he surely witnessed the second one. John was quite sure that Prenter must have hit his friend before because he noticed Roger’s already bleeding nose and the blood stains which were caused by the rain washing it down on his clothes. And then he saw Prenter punching Roger again.Unfortunately, he wasn’t fast enough to prevent it or to at least stop Roger from hitting the cold ground, though he saw it with his own two eyes.
Oh, how he wished to turn back the time and prevent all of this from happening.
The very first thing he did was calling out for Brian in the hope that his voice wouldn’t be drowned out by the heavy rain. Then he ran over to Prenter, who stood only a few meters back from where Roger was laying, to keep him away from his friend as well as to keep him from doing worse.He was shocked, afraid for his friend but most of all angry. “Piss off, you fucking rat!” He screamed at him, pushing him forcefully further away. “He had it coming to him,” Paul said as if he really was trying to justify himself for what he had done to the blonde drummer. “I said, fucking piss off. Get out of my bloody sight,” John screamed again, louder than before. Paul didn’t even look at John who was fuming, instead, he just kept on staring at Roger’s moveless form a few meters away from him as if he had to register himself what he had just done to that man. It was just seconds later that Brian finally appeared outside, followed by Freddie. “What happened? Why is he still here? Didn’t we tell you to piss off,” Brian raised his voice, looking at Prenter as if ready to kill him.“Where is Rog? Wasn’t he-“ Brian stopped with pure horror in his face after he was looking around. There his boyfriend was laying on the cold and wet ground, rain pelting down on him, bleeding and visibly hurt. Brian spent no more time rushing towards the drummer and kneeling down next him. He was moving his boyfriend so that his upper body was in his arms and he could look into his face.The blond suddenly looked so small laying in his lap. His eyes were closed and Brian could see that a bruise which was forming itself around his eye, also his broken nose didn’t go unnoticed as Brian was softly running a hand down his cheek to examine his wounds closer and to even check his pulse. “Hey, Rog. Wake up. Please, open your eyes.” Brian said, almost whispered, gently but worried, obviously.Though, Roger didn’t do any of that. Not yet. The guitarist's mind and heart were racing. He didn’t even need to ask what happened, he knew that Prenter was the reason for this. It was more than obvious. First, everything that he was doing to Freddie and now this; now his boyfriend. This went way too far and out of control.For Brian, and he was pretty sure also for Roger and John, Prenter was worse than the devil if this was somewhere possible. “Open your eyes, please… or … just do anything if you can hear me.”As there was still no reaction coming from the drummer, Brian started to panic. He was running his hand softly through his blond wet hair, though his movement stopped as he felt something warm at the back of the drummer’s head. The taller man gently removed his hand from under his hair only to find it being bloody.Yes, Roger was bleeding at the back of his head too, which was probably caused by the heavy impact of his body hitting the ground without any protection.If Brian thought he was panicking before now he was actually about to freak out.“Oh Rog, please open your eyes.”Brian lowered his head and gave him a kiss on his forehead before softly pressing his boyfriend closer to his chest. Freddie couldn’t move for the first couple of minutes watching the scene in front of him, though after he braced himself the singer started to slowly make his way towards his two friends. He was shocked and worried himself and he had no idea what to make out of all this. He wasn’t even sure if this was reality or just a dream.Clearly, John wasn’t the one who did this to Roger, which meant that the only person who could be responsible for this was Paul. But could he really? Could Paul really have done such a horrible thing to his best friend? His best friend who had was always there for him and supported him, especially in the very early times when they hadn’t been famous yet. Like the times they shared that crappy old flat down at Kensington Market and were selling clothes to get by. Those were hard times but with his friends at his side they always had been bearable. Not only that, there was so much more.Yes, they all have been there for him.Brian, John, and Roger.What was happening? What was he doing? “R-Roger?” Brian suddenly heard Freddie asking from behind him. The singer’s voice sounded so fragile all of the sudden and his expression seemed just as pained upon seeing the state that Roger was in. “GO!” Brian turned around to look at him, tears of anger and worry in his face.“Just bloody GO!” “And take that arsehole with you!” John screamed, before looking from Freddie to Paul who was still staring. God knows, what he was thinking of. Freddie’s eyes winded at John’s and Brian’s order but he couldn’t blame them. None of this would have happened if Paul wouldn’t be here. But he was here because of him; he invited him to come along.Why did he do that again? The singer couldn’t recall. “I-I’m…“ He tried to say something but Brian, as well as John, were cutting him off at the same time.
“GO!”
On the one hand, Freddie wanted to protest, he wanted to stay to make sure that Roger was going to be alright even though he knew that Brian and John would take good care of him; he just wanted and needed to help, though one the other hand, he also knew that it would best for him to just leave now; to leave and to think.Yes, he really couldn’t blame his friends for reacting the way they did. He understood. “You can come back when you decided who is more important to you. And for Christ’s sake, you better make sure that he stays away from him, from us,”He could hear John’s voice coming from behind and the singer quickly turned his head around to face him and he could swear he had never seen an expression like this on Deacy’s face before.In the corner of his eyes, he saw Paul already leaving, however, it took Freddie a bit longer. He nodded as a sign of understanding and slowly stepped back from the couple in front of him.The singer took another look at Roger, then at Brian and John before finally heading to the front door, not saying a word anymore as he left.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
On any other day, Brian, as well as John, would have felt horrible about the way they had snapped at Freddie and screamed at him to go, especially since this wasn’t his work. But then again if he wouldn’t have brought that snake along, none of that would have happened, right?Actually, the two men were madder at the current situation and at Prenter than at the singer, but considering how worried they were for Roger and how angry they were at Paul they couldn’t help but lash out at him too; it was only a natural reaction.One couldn’t always control their feelings, right? Who wouldn’t have done the same thing? “We need to get him inside, out of the rain and out of his cold and wet clothes,” John said softly though not less worried, as he put a hand on Brian’s shoulder to gently rip the guitarist out of his thoughts. He was still holding his boyfriend close to his chest as he eventually nodded in agreement but didn’t say anything. Brian had almost completely forgotten about his surroundings and the fact that they were yet still outside; that it was still raining down on them like crazy, that Freddie and Paul were gone but that John was still with him, who could blame him? He was just too focused on the blonde’s moveless body in his arms as well as his injuries and his; yes, Roger’s blood on the taller man’s hands. Thankfully, the bleeding from his nose had already stopped and, if you took a closer look, it wasn’t that much blood that the drummer had lost anyway; the rain that mixed itself with the red liquid just let it look like it was.To John’s surprise, Brian lifted his boyfriend up and carried him inside, bridal style.It wasn’t like the bassist didn’t think that Brian wasn’t strong or anything, because damn that man was way much stronger than he looked like, but it was the fact that Roger was way much heavier than he actually looked like, not that this was bad, of course.‘The weight gain that comes with domesticity, Darling, it’s only natural. It’s Brian’s fault; blame him!’ Freddie had joked a couple of times already, much to Roger’s dislike that was but Brian actually thought that it was quite cute.Anyway, now on top of the drummer’s natural weight there was also the weight of his soaking wet clothes, however, the taller man managed to lift him up like it was nothing. Maybe it was also the fact that Brian’s body was full of adrenalin due to his worrying, fear but also anger.John was getting some dry and fresh clothes for his blond friend and stuff to clean him up which took him a bit of time because, let's be real, his friends' place was quite big and it was needless to say that he had never searched for a first aid kit in their house before or for Roger’s clothes in their bedroom, at that matter.Who knew what else he would find there?
No! Nope! Don’t think about it, John! That’s Roger’s and Brian’s private business!
However, while John was working on collecting everything they would need, Brian was busy carrying his boyfriend inside, whispering some more soothing words to the smaller man. And it was indeed with success because as he was gently laying him down on the sofa, Brian heard his boyfriend’s voice mumbling something that was hard to understand.Brian knelt down on his knees next to him so he was able to look right into his face.Thank God, he was waking up. “W-Where am I?” Roger opened his eyes slowly as he finally started to talk. He sounded so weak and it broke Brian’s heart. “You’re at home. You’re safe, he can’t hurt you anymore.” Brian whispered to him, stroking his hair, happy he heard his boyfriend’s voice. Though, it sounded so wrong saying that. In fact, all of this was wrong. Roger shouldn’t be laying here on their couch hurt and weak; suffering. Brian never thought he would have to reassure his boyfriend that he was safe and that no one would be able to hurt him anymore, especially in their own four walls, where he was actually supposed to be safe in the first place.Once again, he felt such anger rise up inside of him; anger against that sick man who caused all this, though he knew that he had to remain calm for his boyfriend’s sake. “Home?” Roger sounded weak and his voice was raspy. “Yes, home. Rog, we’re home. I’m with you and John is here too.” “John?” The blonde asked as if he had never heard that name before, his voice still hoarse. “Yes, John. Deacy. Our best friend?” “W-what happened?” “Can’t you remember, love?” Of course, he couldn’t remember, Brian, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked, the guitarist thought to himself while doing so his heart dropped though.He had heard and read too often about cases of memory loss caused by head injuries. But this couldn’t be the case here, right? This couldn’t be happening to Roger? Upon hearing no answer coming from his boyfriend, Brian softly spoke up again.“I will tell you everything that happened in a minute, love, but first of all you have to tell me, do you know who I am?” Brian’s voice was shaking out of fear and worrisome as he was not sure what Roger’s answer would be as he took the smaller man’s cold hand into his. Yet again, this sounded wrong. Brian shouldn’t be kneeling here, close to a heart attack while asking his boyfriend; the love of his life, if he knew who he was.The guitarist was looking expectant into the smaller man’s beautiful blue eyes while his heart was beating louder than any drum groove, fill in or solo Roger had ever played. Though the man that was helplessly laying there, said nothing instead he closed his eyes once more and within a split second, he was gone again.Brian had managed to keep his tears from actually leaving his eyes and to stay calm to not freak out quite well before though now there was no way he could do that anymore. “Brian, what’s wrong?” He heard John from behind him, who obviously hadn’t gotten any of the words that had been spoken while he was gone to get the necessary things they needed. Brian didn’t answer, though he turned his head around to look at his friend as he continued crying. “Brian, listen to me, Roger will be fine. The reason why he didn’t wake up yet is probably a concussion.” John continued.“He is going to be just fine. He-“ “He can’t remember.” Brian cut him off, silent tears still running down his face. “What?” The bassist asked, even though he understood quite well what Brian had said. “He can’t remember.” Brian simply repeated. “I don’t follow. How do-“ “He woke up when you were gone to get some clothes and the kit.” Brian paused shortly, wiping away the tears in his face.“He … well, he asked what happened and where he was. And he-” He stopped as if too afraid to talk about what else happened. “He was probably just confused about his surroundings after all he had been outside in your garden when it happened and-“ “No! No, I … I told him that we’re home … that you’re here too and h-he … John, he said your name as he had never heard it before. I..I asked him if he knew who I was but … but he didn’t reply to that. He simply just closed his eyes again and –“ Brian couldn’t continue.“What if he really doesn’t remember anymore?”“Brian, don’t –“ “What if can’t remember us. Memory loss after head injuries aren’t uncommon and Deacy, I -” Brian’s voice broke again. John didn’t know what to say, so, therefore, he just knelt down next to his friend and pulled him into a tight hug. This was probably better than a million words.Of course, John was scared as hell for his friend too, there was no doubt that but he knew that for Brian this whole situation must be even worse. He couldn’t and actually didn’t want to imagine how and what he was feeling right now. After all, this was the love of Brian’s life. If Veronica would have been in Roger’s position he would think of the worst-case scenarios as well and he knew this was wrong. This was not the way to handle your grief and to deal with the situation.John had to stay strong for both of his friends now. “We should get him into warm clothes now and then head to the doctors,” John said after he broke the hug, giving his best to stay calm himself and to focus on the here and now. Brian nodded, knowing he was right. Both men were thinking about calling for an ambulance but if they would do that now, they most definitely would raise their neighbourhood’s attention, after all, QUEEN was quite famous now and the last thing they would need on top of all that was the press to follow them around, plus they were quicker by taking the car anyway.So, while Brian quickly changed his boyfriend’s clothes, John tried to wash the blood from Roger’s face. Shortly after, John pulled his car up and Brian, with Roger in his arms, quickly got inside. It took them about 15 minutes to get to the nearest Hospital.Everything happened quite quickly from then on.Upon their arrival, two nurses were at the men’s side in no time. John was explaining one of the nurses what exactly had happened in every detail, not leaving out the memory loss part as Brian got directed to the room where he could lay Roger down, so the nurses and a doctor could examine his injuries properly and treat them the way they should.After that was done, the guitarist and bassist were finding themselves in one of the doctor’s rooms, waiting for news. It was a kind gesture of the hospital staff to not let them wait in the public waiting room for some people already recognized the men to be part of the band QUEEN. The downside of being a Rock Star, you have almost no privacy, plus they would probably be on almost every front page of the newspapers in the following next two days. Surprisingly, it didn’t take that long for a doctor to arrive. “How is he?” Brian said as soon as he saw the man entering the room. “Your friend is doing okay. He was slightly hypothermic when you brought him in but we’re obviously taking care of that. As you already have guessed he is suffering from a concussion which is the reason why he lost consciousness. Mr. Taylor has a laceration at the back of his head, caused by the fall as Mr. Deacon had told us earlier. We cleaned and stitched it up, it shouldn’t cause any further damage. His nose is broken too, though also that we treated just fine. I must say, I’m positively surprised that he is doing so well given the circumstances. It must be true what people say about drummers, they really are pretty tough and able to take a lot.” The Doctor, who obviously knew that his patient indeed was the drummer of QUEEN, said while giving them a soft smile, hoping to be able to cheer John and Brian up a bit.Though the guitarist and the bassist just smiled weakly back at him, however, with appreciation. “W-what about his memories? When he was waking up earlier, he didn’t seem to know where he was or who we were.” Brian dared to ask hesitantly and with a heavy heart. “I’m afraid, we will have to wait until he wakes up to see if he shows any signs of memory loss. There are two different kinds, long time memory loss, and short-time memory loss, the latter is thankfully more common. Though, you have to remember that confusion and not being certain about your surroundings upon first waking up while suffering from a concussion is totally normal. We all are hoping for the best.” The man replied. Brian and John simply nodded again. “I know, you and Mr. Taylor are pretty close so I believe you might want to go and see him. I can lead you to his room,” He added, his eyes on Brian. Yes, that man was clearly on familiar ground with QUEEN and therefore Roger’s and his relationship. For a couple of seconds, Brian was even a little surprised about the fact that the doctor was so sympathetic and understanding with them because, obviously, not everyone approved of their relationship. “Yes, thank you. That’d be kind,” Brian said this time, giving him a proper thanking nod. A hundred million questions and ‘What If’s’ were running through their heads as they entered the drummer’s room. Roger was still sleeping and he looked peaceful and way much better than he had been looking before as his chest was slowly rising and falling. Though he looked quite fragile too, his nose was bandaged and the bruise on his face was almost black now. It all looked incredibly painful but Roger had painkiller in his system so the pain must be bearable for him. Yet, it hurt the men to see him in a state like that.They took the chairs that stood nearby and placed them close to the Roger. ~~~~ “I … um … I probably should give Ronnie a call. I told her I wouldn’t be long and well, it’s almost 8 pm now and you know, the kids are about to go to sleep and like I told you Laura just doesn’t want to go to bed before I tell her goodnight and she-” John suddenly broke the silence in the hospital room, he was a bit hesitant first as he looked up at Brian. Though, the taller man just smiled widely back at him. “It’s kind of you to want to stay and accompany me while waiting here, Deacs, but you should go home. Your family is waiting for you.” The tired but soft smile on Brian’s face still not fading. He had to admit though he had always adored John’s love, fondness and devotion for his family and Brian knew Roger thought just the same. This was also one reason why touring was hard for John sometimes. The bassist loved being part of QUEEN, of course, but he also loved it to be happy at home with his wife and his children. Brian totally understood that. “I will be fine,” The guitarist eventually added before his head turned back at the drummer’s sleeping from.“We’ll be fine,” “No, no, mate. I will at least wait until he wakes up before I’m heading home, you guys are my family too remember?” John quickly replied before standing up to go and ask one of the nurses if he could make a phone call.“I will be right back.” He added, leaving the room before Brian could say anything else. Once John left, the room went quiet again. The only sound was the rain outside that was pelting against the window.Brian sighed as he ran the palm of his hand down his boyfriend’s cheek. “Please wake, love. I need you.” He then whispered so quietly and softly that Brian himself almost couldn’t hear it. He kissed his forehead.“And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me Shine until tomorrow, let it be-” Brian suddenly started to sing to Roger, his voice calm and beautiful like always.'Let It Be' was one of their favourite Beatles songs and Brian mostly sang it to Roger when he was having a bad day, woke up from a nightmare, just wasn’t feeling well or simply when he felt like it.It always calmed the drummer down. It was like a miracle, almost like a kind of magic even. Roger himself couldn’t really explain it if you would have asked him but he swore he sure as hell could write a song about it. A kind of Magic, yes, because as soon as Brian stopped singing, he could suddenly hear his boyfriend’s angelic voice. “Bri?”
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Had he understood right? Did Roger just ask for him? So, he knew who Brian was, right?‘Bri’. That’s what he had said. Yes, he indeed did! He could remember!Never in all the years of knowing and being together with Roger was Brian so relieved and happy about hearing his name (nickname) leaving the drummer’s lips than he was right now. Not that he always enjoyed Roger saying his name; he did because it sounded and felt like home; like love; like everything good but this time it also felt like a heavy weight was taken off his shoulders when hearing it from him. “Brian,” Roger mumbled again as he was now slowly opening his eyes, blinking a few times so his eyes would adjust to the bright light in the Hospital room. It took the guitarist a bit to speak up and to reply for his brain had to absorb the fact that his boyfriend was indeed remembering him and that all his worries about Roger losing his memories and not knowing who he was anymore were for nothing. Thankfully.This wasn’t a dream. This was a reality, right? No fantasy.If the drummer wouldn’t be in such a bad state of health and still wouldn’t look that hurt Brian would have for sure jumped for joy and squeezed him into a tight hug. “Bri? Please.” Roger tried again as he was turning his head to take a better look at his tall boyfriend. This time, however, he sounded panicky and a bit scared. Brian still hadn’t said anything to him, he was only staring worriedly at him. What if he was just imagining saying Brian’s name? Or what if Brian couldn’t hear him?The blonde wanted to open his mouth again to try and say his name louder, though he didn’t get that far because suddenly Brian’s lips were meeting his.It felt so good. “What have I done to deserve a kiss like this?” Roger said tiredly yet surprisingly cheeky, with a soft smile on his face after he had so tenderly kissed him back. “You made me fall in love with you, that’s what you’ve done,” Brian answered, even though he knew what Roger was trying to actually get at. “I should hope so too! And you’re welcome, by the way.” The drummer tiredly joked before moving so that he could give his boyfriend another kiss, which was hard given the fact that his whole body was sore, though the painkillers still seemed to fulfil their use and were doing a perfect job plus Brian gently wrapped his arms around Roger to support him as well.“-but that wasn’t what I meant, you know that.” He added afterwards as Brian’s worried and disbelieving expression from just a few seconds before was just not leaving his mind.“Why did it take you so long to answer?” There was silence again before Brian opened his mouth.“Rog, I was so worried. I still am. I was holding your motionless body in my arms and I-“ But Brian didn’t continue; he didn’t want to remember the scene from a few hours ago and what he thought was happening to the love of his life; he couldn’t imagine what he would be doing if Roger really wouldn’t be able to remember anymore.He gently brushed Roger’s blond and beautiful hair that was sticking on his forehead out of the way before kissing it.“I’m just so glad you’re awake now,” He added after a couple of seconds, his voice was much quieter and softer than it had been before. The drummer softly squeezed the taller man’s hand as if to reassure him that he was indeed awake, that he was here and that he was just as happy to be looking into his beautiful eyes as Brian was to look into Roger’s angelic blue ones.Though it was that moment, that it hit Roger like a hammer. For the first time after he had woken up, he actually realised that he was in a hospital. Upon wakening the drummer’s first thought had been Brian, he knew that something was wrong and he felt it as well, though his body; his mind; his heart had simply longed for his boyfriend’s comfort, love, and his touch; there had been no time for the blond to focus on the place and state he was finding himself in or everything that was around him other than Brian.Being in a hospital and being indeed the one laying in a hospital bed meant that something must have happened to him, right? Why was his body feeling so sore and why did his head suddenly hurt like someone hit it with a car? And why did it his nose felt so damn weird, for Christ’s sake? Why was he here?The drummer’s brain was practically steaming as he gave his best to remember what exactly had happened to him; why he was in pain; why he was here in the first place.He could remember that his friends met at Brian’s and his’ place for a band meeting which turned out to be more of a discussion or an argument, right? Roger wasn’t to one hundred percent sure but it must have been like that because he also recalled him leaving the lounge for a smoke outside to calm down.The drummer stopped with his chain of thought as he suddenly remembered something else; someone else…
Prenter.
“Bri, wh-what exactly happened?” He asked hesitantly, not sure if he really wanted to know. Brian gulped. He had heard those words already only a few hours ago when Roger woke up for the first time after those punches. Though, this time he knew Roger could certainly remember his name and who he was, which made him worry less about the smaller man’s question now. “Can you remember the discussion we were having with Freddie?” Brian asked him with a worried frown. He could remember more or less, so Roger nodded weakly. “You went outside to calm down and … and he followed you after a few minutes.” Brian continued, he could feel the anger rise in him but he tried to ignore it as best as he could.“You know who I mean, right?” Yes, Prenter. Once again, Roger didn’t say anything but simply nodded, not really liking where this was going. “I don’t know what happened or what you were talking about but he … he punched you, Rog … what seemed like more than one time-” Brian looked down at his feet.He realised then, that he was too worried for his boyfriend to actually think further about what caused Prenter to strike out in the first place. Surely, they must have gotten into a serious argument or something like that but what exactly caused that wanker to do what he did in the end, was unclear to him still.“-then you fell and hit your head quite badly. Deacy saw it-” he continued.“and I found you only seconds after- “And if all this wasn’t already bad and hard enough to talk about, Brian suddenly also realised that he wasn’t paying attention to where Paul was heading to after he and John had told him to go. Maybe if he had noticed that Prenter was heading into the exact opposite direction to where he was actually supposed to be heading to, (the front door), he could have prevented all this.“-I wasn’t there when it happened … I wasn’t able to prevent any of it, but I should have-” Brian was looking up and into his boyfriend’s eyes again.“This should've never been happening, especially not in our own four walls, where you are supposed to be safe.” Brian stopped shortly.“I’m so sorry, Rog.” It took Roger a bit to reply, not because he didn’t know what to say but because it was suddenly all coming back to him albeit not in minute detail but enough to shake him up. The drummer blinked a couple of times and turned his head away from the taller man next to him, now staring at the white ceiling, struggling to absorb the given information.It ripped Brian’s heart into pieces. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to prevent it and I’m sorry that you –“ Brian said again after a minute of silence. “Bri, please stop. You don’t need to apologise, there’s nothing you should blame yourself for. This wasn’t your fault.” Roger turned his head back to Brian and smiled softly.“-the only one who is to blame is that arsehole and disgrace of a man, not you.” His expression changed into an angry one as he thought about Prenter and his doings.“I swear the next time I’m going to lay eyes on that man, he wishes that he’d never been born at all.” He rose his voice and tried to sit up while he said that, even though his body, especially his head, was screaming at him not to. “I’m with you, Rog. I really am but you need to calm down and rest for now, please. We'll figure everything out later.” Brian quickly said as he watched Roger getting all worked up and angry because of Paul.“You really scared me and I can’t go through this again. I can’t have you feeling worse because of that man. I just can’t-” He added as he helped Roger to gently lay back down again.“Please.” The drummer actually wanted to protest and tell him that he was fine though he decided against it as the pain suddenly hit him and he felt so tired and weak as if his body finally came to the realisation that Roger was awake now and therefore should be reminded of the pain that was caused to him. So, instead of saying something he just nodded and let Brian help him lay back down against the softness of the pillows, knowing that he was right (again) anyway and had a point as well. Roger had worried him enough already and he wouldn’t want for his boyfriend to worry even more.The pained expression on Roger’s face and his soft whines that he let out as he tried to make himself comfortable in bed didn’t go unnoticed by the older man, obviously. “Are you okay!? Should I call for the Doctor!?” Brian asked more worried than before, it mentally pained him to see his drummer like that.“Yeah, I should probably call for someone,” Brian added, not waiting for Roger to reply.Though, as he was about to stand up from the chair that he had placed as close as possible to Roger’s bed, the younger man grabbed for the sleeve of Brian’s sweater.
“No, please.” Roger suddenly breathed out.
“Don’t leave.” He added quietly and if Brian didn’t know better, he would have said that the his boyfriend seemed a bit embarrassed about the fact that he really didn’t want to be alone right now; that he just wanted to be close to him.Of course, Brian immediately sat down again and took Roger’s hands back into his. He knew that his boyfriend hated to been seen in such a weak state; whining; that he hated to seem weak in general though this was his boyfriend of nine years, there was no way that Brian would think Roger was weak or anything alike.“Thanks.” Roger simply said, though he truly meant it. Brian just smiled and kissed his forehead whereat the drummer closed his eyes, enjoying every second of having Brian so close to him. Even after so many years of being with the guitarist, Roger still couldn’t get enough of him. After a few more minutes of love and affection that the two men were sharing, John unexpectedly bursted into the room, giving them both a fright.“Sorry, that phone call took longer than expected. First Laura didn’t want to –“ The bassist stopped talking straight away as his eyes fell on his two friends in front of him, who both were looking at him as if they had never seen him before.“Roger! You’re awake! Jeez, mate you gave us such a fright.” John smiled now, happy to see his friend awake. Roger smiled back.“-and I see you can remember.” He added without thinking further about it before taking a few steps closer to him. “Remember!? What do you mean!? Of course, I can remember, why shouldn’t I?” Roger asked confused, looking from John to Brian as if he was expecting an answer from him too and then back at John again. “I … you … so, Brian didn’t tell you about when you first woke up back at your place?” John more stated than asked, looking almost apologetic at the guitarist before back at his blond friend. “No. What are you talking about?” “Before we brought you here you were awake for a short amount of time and … and well you were confused and you couldn’t remember where you were and … and who John was or who I was.” Brain eventually said, his mind wandering back to when it had happened and it sent a shiver down his spark as he did so. “Good Ol’ Brian here was scared to death. He even asked the doctor about the possibility of you suffering from memory loss.” John added while trying to look like he was at ease with it even though he had been scared shitless too. Roger looked at his boyfriend, who was still struggling with the thoughts he had been having before the drummer had woken up and before it had become apparent that none of Brian’s ‘What Ifs’ eventuated.Not really knowing what to say this time for he really couldn’t imagine the worry, the uncertainty, and the pain that the two men had been going through, especially for Brian it must have been hell, he tried to pull the guitarist and the bassist into a tight hug. (Well, it was more like he opened his arms, hoping the other two men would understand that he was trying to hug them. It worked out surprisingly well at the end.)After they broke the hug, softly and gently not to hurt Roger for the back of his head, his nose and his eye were alive to pain and therefore very sensitive to any kind of touch, the drummer finally said something. “Even if that would have been the case, I’m sure I would have still fallen for you all over again, Bri-” Roger was looking tenderly into Brian’s eyes before the guitarist leaned into a kiss. John just turned his head away to not have to witness his two friends pressing their lips together. To him, the hospital room suddenly was getting more and more interesting. “-but I’ve to say though, it’s still better to remember who I’m engaged to, I suppose,” Roger said jokingly after they broke the kiss which caused John to immediately turn his head back to the two lovebirds in front of him. “Engaged?! What?!”
Oops.
Roger and Brian shared a quick look but didn’t say anything. That was not the way they had planned to tell his friend about their engagement. It was nothing official or something on paper yet for marriage between two men was illegal in Great Britain, but that would never stop Brian nor Roger from wearing engagement rings or to call each other fiancé and /or husband. Of course, they were hoping that one day maybe they would be able to make it into an official thing, though even if that would never be the case for them it would always be more important and more than enough to just spent the rest of their lives with each other. “Congratulations, you two! When did this happen and why do I not know about any of this? And who was the one asking?” John went on as his two friends didn’t reply. Brian and Roger smiled from one ear to the other. Obviously, they knew John would be happy for them but it was still something big and important to come out with and nothing you could just mention casually. So, seeing their friend so positively surprised meant the world to them. “Thanks!” Both Brian and Roger said at the same time. “It was after the tour, so about a good month ago.” The guitarist continued, smiling proudly.“Actually, Rog was the one asking me, really.” “What Roger!? Really?!” John couldn’t believe it. “Yeah, it was me. What’s so hard to believe and why are you looking at me like that?” The drummer looked back at John who was grinning like an idiot. “Nothing, somehow I always thought that Brian would be the one who’d propose.” “Oh, well Deacs, you should know that it was very romantic. He really put some serious thought into it.” Brian commented amused, while Roger turned as red as a tomato. “Well, well. I always knew Roger was a hopeless romantic.” John chuckled slightly at the drummer’s flustered state. “I hate you.” He eventually said as the other two men started to chuckle slightly. Roger looked offended at first, though his expression changed quickly into a wide grin as he couldn’t help but giggling too. The three men chatted a bit more after that. They talked about everything and nothing; about how they would want to celebrate their good news for Roger insisted on an engagement party and who they would invite as well as when but also about trivial things.Though, after about an hour Roger’s painkillers were finally losing its effect and he was getting quieter, trying to ignore the pain but failing.Obviously, Brian as well as John noticed not only that but also his pained expression every time he moved around a bit.So, the bassist went to quickly get a nurse as Brian stayed at his boyfriend’s side.The nurse was happy to see him awake, she checked on his injuries and quickly fixed the bandage that was covering most of the drummer’s nose, followed by her giving him something light against his pain as well as telling him and the other two men that Roger would definitely need some more rest for now if they really would want to be able to leave the hospital as soon as possible. She added that the doctor would have to run a couple of tests the next morning but all in all, Roger was doing quite good considering the circumstance which was a big relief.It had been an exhausting and stressing day for everyone, so it was needless to say that they all were beyond tired and in need of rest which also meant that after Brian managed to convince the nurse that he would want to stay the night here, close to his boyfriend, John said his goodnights and left for home, happy that his friend was doing better. He had a lot of tell Ronnie. ~~~ “Rog?” Brian whispered as he had his arms firmly wrapped around his boyfriend’s smaller form. Somehow, they managed to both fit into the hospital bed even though it was quite narrow but they couldn’t care less about that, at least they were close to each other. “Mh?” Roger mumbled, seemingly half asleep. “I love you.” Brian kissed the top of his lover’s head. Roger smiled wide at this to himself, his eyes closed. “I love you, too.” He tiredly replied, snuggling closer up to Brian and within only a couple of seconds listening to Brian’s heartbeat his mind drifted off to sleep. It took Brian a bit longer to fall asleep though listening to Roger’s soft snores as he was laying in his arms, his chest steadily rising and falling, sleep also came to him and he followed Roger’s example.
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When Brian woke up the next morning, it was still quite dark outside, just about to dawn. It took the guitarist a minute to figure out where exactly he was again though when he looked at his boyfriend, who was still snuggled up close to him with his head resting on his chest, he realised his bandaged nose and his black eye and everything that had happened the day before came back to him and he remembered that, yes, they were in a hospital.For both men, the night had been extremely restless. Roger had woken up a couple of times, whining in pain and trying to find a position that was comfortable enough to sleep on. The blonde’s body, especially his head, hadn’t seemed like it wanted to give him any rest though after a few desperate attempts to ignore the pain and Brian giving his best to soothe him, even turning on the radio, Roger eventually had managed to fall asleep. That was around 4 am and he surprisingly still was asleep. The younger man had just been too tired and too exhausted to even care anymore at the end, which broke Brian’s heart.Obviously, because of that the guitarist was more than relieved to see the steady rising and falling of Roger’s chest now after a night like that though it didn’t really help him to stop worrying. How could he anyway? Seeing the one you love with all your heart struggling like that was like torture.With his right arm still wrapped around the small form of his boyfriend, Brian stayed like that for about half an hour longer, watching him sleeping softly while gently running his hand up and down Roger’s back and every now and then kissing the top of his head.However, after a while when Brian softly pulled his arm away that had been wrapped around Roger to try and to position himself more comfortably, the drummer let out what sounded like a complaint that was directed at the loss of contact. “Bri… don't move.” Roger ordered, mumbling and still half asleep with his eyes shut and his voice drawn with sleepiness. Brian couldn’t help but smile at Roger’s moaning. It was typical for him, because even if the drummer didn’t seem like it, he was indeed the biggest cuddler there was and he absolutely hated the loss of Brian’s physical contact; especially in the mornings when the taller man got up earlier or moved and shifted around and ended up not being close to Roger anymore.After almost nine years of being together with the blonde, there was hardly anything he didn’t know about his boyfriend. He had seen many different sides of Roger which no one else would ever come to see or experience; different things and sides of the drummer that had made Brian fall in love with him even more. “Rog, my arm’s killing me,” Brian softly spoke and whose arm was indeed sore from having it laying around the drummer for almost the whole night. “Mh well, Bri … if it makes you feel any better, my head’s killing me too.” Roger eventually said still sounding tired and Brian could swear, he practically heard the cheeky smile that was about to form itself on the drummer’s face as Brian left out a defeated sigh before laying his arm back around his boyfriend. ~~~ “Bri?” Roger broke the silence after another 15 minutes of cuddling and enjoying each other’s company in the narrow hospital bed with the radio still playing that Brian had turned on earlier. “What is it?” The older man asked as he turned his head to take a better look at his drummer. “I suppose, we um … we should get up. Ya know, let the nurses know we’re awake.” “Oh really, should we now?! Why’s that?” The guitarist sounded a bit surprised about his words, though he smiled, thinking he knew what his boyfriend was getting at. “’m hungry.” Roger simply replied. Brian chuckled slightly to that. Once again this was typical. The only thing that would make Roger get up in the morning was breakfast. Though, hearing the blonde saying that today; the day after he got punched, lost consciousness and ended up in a hospital with a broken nose, a laceration at the back of his head, as well as a black eye, somehow seemed to calm Brian a bit. It meant the drummer hadn’t lost his appetite which then again meant he was already starting to recover from everything that had happened; it was a good sign. “Why are you laughing?” Roger raised his head now to take a better look at his taller boyfriend. “I’m not laughing.” The curly haired man answered amused. “Yes, you are!” “It's just, you know, typical,” Brian replied, now with a big smile on his face as he was looking back at the beautiful man with his big blue eyes and his blond hair that was all over the place from sleeping.“I’m just happy you didn’t lose your appetite either,” He added more softly now, really meaning it. “Me losing my memories is one thing but me losing my appetite!? As if this is ever gonna happen.” Roger was also chuckling now before giving his boyfriend a quick kiss.“Though, I haven’t eaten since … since yesterday for lunch.” The drummer went on and he sounded like it was the worst thing ever. “Oh, well then, it’s about time you get some food into your stomach.” The guitarist replied, placing a hand on his boyfriend’s middle before getting up.“I’ll go get a nurse. I think they’d like to check on you anyway.” Roger smiled lovingly, watching his tall boyfriend leaving the room as he tried to sit up in bed, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. (More like rubbing the sleep out of one eye, the other still hurt too much.)It didn’t take long for Brian to return without food though, much to Roger’s disappointment.The doctor had told him that he would like to run some tests on Roger before breakfast would be served, saying it would be better doing so on an empty stomach. Though, running the tests didn’t take long either in the end. After everything was set and done, his bandage changed and the wound at the back of his was checked on again too, Roger finally got his well-deserved food.Later, the two men were told that Roger was doing quite well so far and that he would be able to leave tonight already, but only if he was going to rest well; strict bed rest for at least the whole next week. Brian, God bless his soul, reassured the doctor and nurses that he, obviously, would take good care of him, making sure he would stay in bed (or on the sofa) as well as keeping him from drumming for the next few days too (much to Roger’s dislike, again), the taller man also added that they would call or come back if Roger was feeling worse or off in some way as soon as possible.After Brian’s little ‘speech’, the hospital staff was sure that the drummer was in good hands and allowed them to leave earlier around lunchtime after the last check on Roger’s laceration.And that’s exactly why the two lovers indeed found themselves already back home on the same day around one pm.Not much happened that day, other than calling the Deacon-household and letting them know that Roger was doing better and that they had been allowed to leave the hospital earlier than expected whereupon Veronica and John asked if it would be okay for them to pay a quick visit late morning the next day which, of course, was more than okay.The men were also thinking about letting Freddie know that Roger was feeling better and he was out of any serious physical danger, though they decided against it as they thought that the singer probably was busy anyway.Brian had told his boyfriend about the conversation they had been having when Roger was outside smoking and it hurt the younger man to know what Freddie was thinking of them and what he had been saying to John and Brian when they were only trying to talk some sense into him and help him.It didn’t sound like Freddie; his best friend, at all to say that he wouldn’t need them or wouldn’t need their help at that matter, as well that he was sick of being alone and that he would have no one else but Prenter who would take care and be there for him. Roger, as well as John and Brian, knew that those words weren’t his but Paul’s. They just wished that there would be a way to make Fred see and understand what Prenter was doing to him and not only to him. (I mean, look what he had done to Roger)Other than that, the two lovers successfully minded any kind of media since they knew for sure that they had caused quite a sensation with their hospital visit the other day. Therefore, they just ordered some food, played a game of chess and called it an early night. Both had slept horribly the last night in that uncomfortable and small hospital bed, plus the pain that had woken up Roger a couple of time also kept Brian awake and worried, so they both needed some good rest. ~~~ After a good and restorative sleep-in (well, if you think getting up at 8 or 9 am is a sleep-in) and after the guitarist and the drummer took a hot shower together with Brian being overly protective and careful not to hurt the younger man, they got some breakfast and were getting ready for John’s and Veronica’s visit.And indeed, only a few minutes after the blond and brunette got ready with everything, the doorbell rang.The Deacon’s had their youngest daughter Laura in tow, who was hiding behind her father when Brian opened the door to greet and to let them in. He led them further into the house and into the lounge where Roger was just about to set the tea on the table. Even though Brian had excessively stated that he would do it himself and that the younger man should just sit down and rest, but then again this was Roger, that man couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. He always said that this was the worst thing one could do. “Roger, honey, it’s so good to see you in one piece. John had told me everything that happened, I’m so sorry. How are you feeling?” Veronica said sweetly as soon as she laid eyes on the drummer, obviously noticing the black eye and his bandaged nose before hugging him softly. “I’m doing much better, really. Thanks! How are you doing? Deacy told us about the good news. Congratulations.” Roger answered smilingly after hugging her back. Veronica blushed a bit as John wrapped her arm protectively over her middle.“I’m great. We actually wanted to tell you together but you know how John is.” She answered before giving her husband a look. Brian and Roger just laughed slightly at that before their attention wandered to the little girl that was still shyly hiding behind John. “Laura just didn’t seem to want to stay with her granny like her two older brothers, so we brought her along.” John casually added, smiling at his daughter as he said that. “Come on, sweetie, say hello to your uncles,” Veronica said looking at Laura who was now taking a couple of steps forward. “Hey there, little one,” Roger said sweetly after he crouched down in front of her so he would be the same height as Laura.“How are you doing?” Of course, this wasn’t the first time she met Roger and Brian, though that didn’t stop her from being shy in the beginning this was normal for a three-year-old, she would open up eventually.Upon seeing Roger smiling and crouching down in front of her, Laura started to smile brightly and she indeed took a few steps closer to Roger opening her arms before the drummer picked up the little girl while talking sweetly to her.It was such a rare thing to see his boyfriend like that and Brian could have, for sure, melted away at the sight of the drummer talking and playing with the little girl that he was holding in his arms while she giggled. The older man was sure that Roger would be a perfect father, without a doubt that was and it hurt him a little to know they would probably never be able to have children themselves. Good for them, that John and Veronica came to visit with their kids quite often.After a few more words were exchanged, they sat down for cake that Veronica had baked and brought along and some tea and coffee. While the adults talked, Laura was busy with drawing something for her uncles. Later, when she had finished drawing, she proudly presented the others the picture. It was a drawing that showed her, her parents as well as her brothers but also her uncles. All three of them. Freddie, Brian, and Roger.Together with Brian, Laura stuck the picture at the door of their fridge, so her uncles would always get reminded about how big their family was. ~~~ Once the Deacon’s thought it was time to leave for their other two kids were probably waiting for them, they arranged a time and date to meet for Dinner, said their goodbyes and congratulated Veronica once more.After they left, Brian started to clean up, insisting on Roger to lay down on the sofa and to just rest, which the drummer obviously didn’t complain about because he really wasn’t too keen on cleaning up.Brian soon joined him on the sofa, turning on a movie that Brian had been longing to watch for so long already. Star Trek II, which came out a few months ago in June, though Brian was unable to watch it due to recording as well as their preparation for QUEEN’s Hot Space Tour later.Halfway into the movie, Roger happened to fall asleep. It wasn’t because the film was boring or he didn’t enjoy it because he really did enjoy it and he loved the way Brian got so excited about it but it was because he simply was feeling too comfortable in his boyfriend’s warm embrace to keep his eyes open for any longer. Brian, of course, didn’t mind at all, after all his boyfriend needed all the rest and sleep he could get.He stopped the movie and got up from the sofa as careful as possible in order to not wake Roger who took up the whole sofa as the end result of Brian leaving his side. The guitarist smiled softly at his drummer before he headed to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to make himself another cup of tea and to think about what he could prepare for Dinner later.As he was just about to return to his boyfriend, who was still sprawled out on the sofa, snoring softly, the doorbell suddenly rang. Brian held his breath, hoping it hadn't woken his boyfriend. Though as the guitarist took a closer look at him, he saw that Roger was surprisingly still asleep.So, while wondering who the bloody hell that could be, Brian quickly headed to the front door before the person could ring a second time. The one he saw standing in front of the door as he opened it was, by all means, not the person he expected to see so soon again. “Freddie?” Brian looked at his friend, stunned before looking around to see if he was accompanied by a special someone. “He’s not here.” The singer said, knowing for whom Brian was looking for. The guitarist looked back at Freddie quite satisfied before noticing his friend’s tired expression as if he hadn’t been able to sleep the last two days. He felt sorry for him. “What are you doing here?” Brian eventually asked, really not meaning to sound impolite. “I came to … is he okay?” Fred replied while sounding seriously worried.“I called you a couple of times the same night it happened, dear, no one picked up. I called Deacy too but it was the same there.” He stopped short.“Then this morning, I read that article, that he was spotted in the hospital alongside you and John, that he was unconscious and -” “We had to stay the night there. He was seriously hurt, Fred and he just wouldn’t want to wake up after … you know,” Freddie looked like he would start crying any second.“I’m – I … can I come in?” He almost sounded like as if he was afraid to ask.Not that it looked like Freddie to ask if he could enter Roger’s and Brian’s house in the first place. The singer always had been very welcome at their place, there never had been the need to ask. Brian didn’t say anything, instead, he just stepped aside and gestured his friend inside.“He’s asleep right now, so be quiet a bit,” The guitarist said protectively as he was followed by Freddie into the lounge where the drummer was still soundly asleep on the sofa. Freddie stopped as he saw his friend. He hated that part of the reason Roger was suffering from those injuries was him. Of course, he hadn’t caused them and he hadn’t known that Paul would ever be capable of doing something like this to one of his friends; one of his best friends but he couldn’t help blaming himself for it. “I’m sorry.” The singer whispered with an apologetic but also pained expression on his face that the guitarist had never seen before, he knew that he meant it. Brian was well aware that Freddie really shouldn’t be apologizing for what Prenter had caused to Roger but something inside him stopped him from telling the singer so. “I’m so sorry,” Freddie repeated as he looked away from Roger over to Brian while shaking his head as if he still couldn’t believe what had happened two days ago.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After Freddie’s apologies the guitarist just gave him a little smile and a head shake before gesturing him to follow him into the kitchen. They could talk there and let Roger take his well-deserved nap. “Tea? “Brian asked as they entered said kitchen, “Just made myself one, water’s still hot.” Freddie simply nodded, giving his friend a weak smile,“Yeah, thanks, Darling,” he whispered – it was almost inaudible. Brian just nodded one more and turned around to get a cup and tea bag.“So, why exactly are you here, Fred?” the taller man eventually asked after handing his friend the hot cup of tea and sitting down at the kitchen table where the singer already had sat down as soon as they entered. Brian already could image why he was here but he still wanted to here it out of his friend’s mouth. And so, he patiently waited for Freddie to reply. In fact, it took the older man a little while to actually answer, minding the curly haired man’s eyes for as long as he possibly could – just shaking his head and looking down at the steaming cup of tea in front of him. “You know why I came,” Fred said as he finally looked at Brian who was now raising his brows as if to say. ‘I do, but I still need to hear it from you’.Freddie sighed, getting the message,“I came to apologize.” “There we go!” “Look, Brian, I – I’m sorry and I – I didn’t want any of this to happen, I just – I still can’t –,“ Freddie started but was interrupted by the guitarist who knew that Freddie was being honest, he had seen it in the singer’s eyes as soon as he had appeared on their doorstep just a minutes ago. “I know you are,” he simply said and there was indeed a little smile on Freddie’s features to see after that, relieved that the astrophysicist believed him,“and I know you didn’t want any of this to happen, it’s not you who put Rog in that state but, Freddie – it’s not only that, you know that, don’t you?“ Brian stopped and let out a sad sigh while shaking his head and giving Freddie time to think.“Do you really trust that man more than your own friends? Your family? Well, that is if we’re still your family – because, as you claimed the other day, we aren’t anymore. . .” “Brian,” Fred started. “No, Fred, look – I know it’s a rough time, we all know that. The Album wasn’t as much of a success as we had hoped for it to be, we know you find touring to be rather exhausting right now too, we understand, obviously we do. Nonetheless and especially since we’re all going through the same thing right now, we truly thought you knew you could come to us. If you’re really feeling alone, not cared for and in need of help you should have at least told and talked to us about it rather than let a stranger; let Paul take control. Let him get inside your head, let him poisoning your mind. . . the drugs, the alcohol. He’s using and destroying you, Freddie but you can’t see it, just like John had told you two days ago. You told us you’d have nobody but, Freddie, you forgot that you have us; all of us and you had us right from the very beginning. Roger, John and myself, we all just want the old Freddie back – we watched for far too long without doing anything even though we should have. And God knows, John and I should’ve listened to Roger in the first place,” Brian spoke his mind.He wasn’t raising his voice, wasn’t loud or angry but said all this with a gentle and meaningful voice and serious expression.“I don’t blame you but you have to understand that we’re all mad in a way, disappointed too, you chose him over us, Fred,” he added, his eyes fixed on the singer, whose expression was full of regret.“What happened to Roger isn’t your fault but Prenter’s, we know you could never do such a thing,” Brian went on, “Rog was lucky, it could have ended much worse for him. It’s not that we could have lost our drummer and our great vocalist, I could have lost the man I love and you, Fred, you could have lost your very best Friend.” At the mention of that, especially Roger being his best Friend, the older man’s heart broke a little. Roger was indeed his very best friend. He had been even before QUEEN; before he even joined SMILE. They had lived and worked together, they had spent Christmas together with a can of beans and dry toast, barely getting by and yet it still they had made it and it had always been fun because they had each other and now this.
Why did it have to come so far for him to notice?
Freddie’s mind was racing and full of things to say but yet he was speechless. Brian watched him but didn’t say anything either. He knew that the singer needed some time to think about all of this, if he hadn’t already when he left two days ago (Which Brian hoped he had). “What can I possibly do to make this right?” Freddie said after long ten minutes of silence, mainly to himself. His voice suddenly shaky and he spoke so quietly that the guitarist almost couldn’t understand him. “I’ll be honest with you, Fred, I can’t tell you that for sure. What I can tell you though is that it will take a bit of time to be fully forgiven. You should speak to Roger about it and John too. They are hurt, just like myself. As much as I’d like to help you. . . but this is something you have to do by yourself now. If you truly are sorry and want to make things right again, which I know you are and want, you can do this.” Freddie nodded slowly while his eyes wandered from Brian back to his now cold cup of tea. He wanted to make this right so badly but he was unbelievably scared that it was too late now. Obviously, he was more than happy that the curly haired man understood despite him still being disappointed, like the rest of the boys.What if they weren’t so understanding? – but then again, he couldn’t blame them either. Not in the slightest. “We need you, Freddie and you know that you need us. What we, especially you, don’t need is Paul Prenter. And you know that very well.” ----- Roger who had been deep asleep, sprawled out on the sofa with a blanket on top of him which his loving boyfriend had placed there before he had opened the door to let Freddie in, was now slowly waking up. The drummer whined a little in pain due to his injuries but mainly in displease as he felt Brian’s lack of contact. Slightly, he opened his blue eyes, adjusting them to the bright light in the living room, while looking around rather confused, searching for Brian.It was already dark outside and still raining heavily, like it had been for literally days now – which made Brian not being there unusual, he wouldn’t go for a walk in the dark while it was raining, especially not without letting Roger know while he was sick – so where was he?With another groan, the blond sat up, running his hand through his messy hair, yawning before stretching. “Bri?” the drummer asked but his voice was a way too quiet, hoarse and drawn with sleep for anyone but Roger himself to hear. It wasn’t too long after that, that the blond got up, deciding to look for Brian when he heard his voice from the kitchen.
Who the hell was he talking to? Was he on the phone? No, their phone was placed in the living room. Ronnie and John? But they had left this early afternoon, right?
Roger had his suspicion but decided to check anyway. And as soon as he stepped closer to the kitchen he could indeed hear the voice of the man he had suspected. Freddie. ‘What can I possibly do to make this right?’, the drummer heard his friend say before Brian’s words followed.Roger didn’t dare to say anything just yet, waiting for Brian to finish and carefully listen to his voice and words as well. ‘We need you, Freddie and you know that you need us. What we, especially you, don’t need is Paul Prenter. And you know that very well.’ Brian had said and that was when Roger decided he couldn’t hold back. “He’s fucking right,” Roger suddenly said with an unreadable expression as he entered the kitchen. His eyes, maybe or maybe not, filled with tears. Tears of disappointment and pain. “Roger?”