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❝ It starts with a fairy casting a spellthis one's on Ashton, who you'll come to know well ❞The morning had seemed impossibly long. See when the two happy parents had been told they and their beautiful, bouncing baby boy were ready to go home, ten in the morning had seemed so early, like they would have no time to prepare. In truth, though the morning had slugged by and the pair had grown anxious to get out the door and on their way.They were home before eleven, but only just. They'd taken him, Ashton that was, straight to his room and shown him the place they had carefully pieced together just for him, but his eyes remained fixed instead on the two beaming faces above him. People he did not yet realise were destined to love him from the moment the thought of him had appeared in their minds. He giggled instead at their big silly grins, both turning to one another in pure awe that they, the both of them had created such perfection.Then the crying had started, he was wet and upset, and the only two faces he knew in the whole world weren't enough to fix it."Oh goodness, get the diapers, I bet he needs to be changed!" the mother said, panic in her voice as she looked at the father, his mouth dropped open slightly and his brow furrowed, "I told you to buy diapers last week! Before he was due!" she exclaimed."I know, I know! I'm sorry I just forgot, I'll go now, I'll only be a minute I promise," he said trying to soothe his wife, his attention shifted to his son instead, "Daddy will be back soon with a fresh diaper," he tugged gently at one of his tiny little feet. Then he disappeared down the stairs and presumably out the front door."Your daddy's so silly," the mother cooed, "so, so sil-" she was interrupted by a bubble-like pop and her head snapped up. There was a woman with dark skin that glowed like sunlight, thin black braids, wrapped around in a loose-type of bun, dressed in the most bizarre floor-length gown; the gown quickly dropped lower on the oddities list as she noticed the two large, Monarch butterfly-type wings that sat on her back, and she was standing a foot from Ashton's crib."Oh, sorry, I normally try to do this when the parents aren't here, I thought you left with daddy," the mother's eyes grew wide, her mouth still open in shock, "for exactly that reason," she said pointing a delicately shaped, moss-covered stick up toward the mother's face."You can't be here!" she exclaimed, finally finding her voice."Don't be silly, Ashton is an extraordinary boy, all the Irwin's for generations have been given wonderful gifts by my family, surely you won't let him miss out?" the mother grew more confused, and her words escaped her yet again. "My mother gave his father that gorgeous head of hair he has," she told her proudly.Ashton was still crying all through the exchange, his mother having forgotten entirely that she was trying to calm him.The fairy was seemingly unaffected by the mother's lack of response, "Hmm, what shall I give you?" she wondered aloud, looking over the crib with the benevolence of a woman who hadn't appeared unannounced in a child's room. "Shhh, my love, let me think," she said, doing as the father had earlier and gently playing with his foot.She placed a finger on the bridge of her nose, and she tried to think, "you're not very well behaved," she said thoughtfully, "Ashton, I give you the gift of obedience," she gently tapped at his tiny forehead with the moss-covered thing.The mother grew more and more sure that this was all a delusion brought on by pain medication and lack of sleep, no one really thought they were able to bestow magical gifts on children."I think it's best we keep this between the three of us," the woman spoke quietly as if only intending the child to hear, and tapped her wand, against his head again."What- what does that mean?" she asked, afraid engaging with the woman might cause more 'magical' creatures to appear.The woman caressed Ashton's cheek gently, before drawing it back and making eye contact with her, "I've given you the perfect child," ❝ A fairy tale reveals certain truths,
the dangers of choices we are given in youth,

but this story is different in thread for our hero had no choice,
or that's the story that spread.  ❞

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton had over the years developed a list of rules about his curse that seemed to be true based on past experiences.
1. I can't tell anyone about the curse

2. No command lasts forever

3. If a command is interrupted it will stop

4. Commands can be overridden by later contradicting commands

5. Any phrase/word said with the intention of making me behave in a certain way it will work

6. No matter how much I don't want to do something that will not affect the effectiveness of the command

7. Pre-recorded commands, such as on television programs, or written commands will not work
There were other rules listed between others but they were crossed out as each was proven incorrect

4. I cannot be commanded to hurt myself or others

5. I can fight this

The list had been moved from notebook to notebook over the years at it lengthened or amendments were made. This copy had a few holes in the corners from where it had once been pinned to a corkboard, and a little bit of water damage. He didn't imagine he would need to add any new rules in the future, and he didn't need to look at it at all, he knew his limits. So he guessed this would most likely be the final copy, maybe one day he would feel the urge to make it neater, but that would be the only change he suspected. Despite all of this there was something about writing them down and seeing them there that made him feel less ridiculous.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton and Crystal were stood in the hallway, midway through devising their master plan to get out of handing in a research paper in their next class. She paused for a moment, twirling the end of her soft purple braid around her finger before an 'Ah-Ha!' expression took over her face."Okay so, I beat you up, and we pretend someone else did it, and you get to just go home," she shrugged simply, putting her textbooks back in her locker and pulling out a thermos."That only gets me out of it, and I have to get beaten up, I think that one's a dud," Ashton said with an eye roll, before rummaging through his own locker for a snack-size bag of Cheetos.Crystal seemed ready to argue, but her mouth quickly closed at the sound of footsteps approached from behind him.The voice of his English teacher, Mr Philips spoke, "Ashton, this essay is garbage, you've got the weakest references I've ever seen, and overall it seems like you just haven't bothered to try," he shoved a formal note to Ashton's mother. He opened his mouth to argue the comment, but Philips interrupted him, "I would hold my tongue if I were you," he said, before turning on his heel and disappearing amongst everyone else in the hall.Ashton's stomach sunk as soon as the words left his lips. His hand darted up to his mouth and held his tongue between his thumb and pointer finger. He sighed with his tongue in hand and waited until the sensation went and he was able to remove it. He wiped his fingers on his school shirt and looked up to see Crystal staring at him curiously.Not only was he compelled to do whatever it was he was told it seemed he's also been given the gift of unluckiness, as it seemed no one ever managed to miss the peculiar things he did. Even in moments where he should have been able to get away with little things, the sort of moments normal people used to pick their noses, he got caught. Ashton shrugged, offering a closed mouth smile, "That was more for his benefit than yours, but apparently, he didn't even see it." He sighed, closing his locker and avoiding her eyes. He was a pretty good liar if he were honest, years of having to have excuses up his sleeve for moments just like these had made him good at it. It made him feel ingenuine and unconnected to other people, but he imagined his weird behaviour often attributed to that as well."I didn't realise you were such a smart arse," she said with an eye roll, turning back to her locker.Ashton fought back the urge to sigh and closed his own locker as well. Almost everyone was gone from the hallway now, he could tell without looking because the volume had decreased significantly, he could think without having to wade through noise now. This was when he able to relax; fewer people around meant his chances of doing something weird or being caught doing something weird decreased. It was the closest he came to letting his guard down at school.Which was why the clang of something colliding with the locker next to him caused him to jump back several feet. He'd thought that everyone with a taste for bullying him would be long gone by now, nestled safely amongst their fellow bullies eating their lunch. He turned slowly, thinking he was prepared for any eventuality. Instead, his shoulders softened immediately.It was Crystal's boyfriend Michael; he had her pressed up against the locker, essentially mauling her. He sighed, averting his eyes before he could see what the response to the hand snaking its way up under her plaid school skirt was.This was a semi-frequent occurrence, Ashton hadn't really known Crystal all that long, nor did he know her all that well. She'd taken a shine to him early in the year, and slowly he'd been piecing together things about her and her friends.The direction Ashton had averted his eyes in was toward where one of these friends stood. Calum, he had light brown skin, and warm eyes, and the softest looking hair. Ashton had, had a little to do with him recently, but he'd always admired him. He rolled his eyes at Calum in a friendly matter, blushing lightly at Michael and Crystal's brashness.Calum gave him an 'I know right' nod and a smile, "you grab her, I'll grab him," Ashton silently cursed him for his phrasing, before his hands snapped up grabbing Crystal's shoulders and tugging her back. A deep blush coated his cheeks, but Calum chuckled, giving him an enrapturing grin before pulling Michael toward himself. Crystal laughed, smacking gently at Ashton's hands, Michael was less impressed.Ashton and Michael knew each other. Not well and they certainly weren't friends, but they often saw each other in moments like these, and the odd time Crystal invited Ashton to sit with them at lunch. He had the distinct feeling Michael didn't like him all that much, whenever Ashton sat with them, he stuck with his friends and left Crystal and Ashton to talk.The friends were Calum and another boy, Luke, who was dating a girl called Sierra, who also hung out with them sometimes, but Ashton had never really spoken to her. Calum was the only one without a girlfriend, and he liked to think that was for the same reason Ashton didn't have a girlfriend.There was more than being gay in the way of Ashton having a girlfriend, his intentional disinterest in relationships romantic or otherwise was the main cause. He did like window shopping all the same though, liked to imagine what it would be like to be able to date without fear of his curse putting him in situations he couldn't say no to (literally). The point was, when Ashton window-shopped, Calum's window was the one he found himself staring into most frequently.He didn't know much more beyond him being a friend of Michael and Crystals', he was in the same year as Michael and Luke, the one below Crystal and himself, and he was pretty sure he was on the hockey team. That was it, but he did have a big stupid smile and was always friendly, which he guessed was enough when you were just browsing.Crystal left Ashton's grip, and his thoughts stopped, Michael wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and he imagined this was for his benefit."You're in a weird mood today," Crystal chuckled looking at Ashton with soft unoffended eyes."Sorry," he mumbled self-consciously, but tried to shrug it off as not caring, "I'm gonna go-""Do you have to?" Crystal asked, "sit with us today; I feel like I never see you,"He felt the familiar pull in his chest and nodded "Uh, sure, yeah I just need to go to the bathroom first," he said, pointing toward the bathrooms, she nodded in response and turned to begin talking to the others.He walked quickly away, being able to feel what felt like a long piece of string attached between he and Crystal, it would feel like that until he went back and sat with her, and the longer it took him to return the tighter the feeling would get. It's how he always felt when people phrased commands with a non-immediate time frame, the easiest solution was to just do it straight away, but he'd needed the bathroom desperately.After he'd finished in the bathroom, he hurried back, ready for the nauseating sensation to leave him. Normally nothing could persuade him to draw it out any longer, but as he came toward the corner just before his locker, he heard the voices echoing in the empty hallway."He's weird Crystal; I think he has a thing for you. Why else would he be so nervous and jumpy?" Michael declared his tone throw-away."I've told you a million times he doesn't," Crystal said adamantly, and Ashton's heart warmed at her apparently repeated defences of him.She was the first real friend Ashton had, had and their friendship was based entirely on forced proximity, not that she wasn't nice, but Ashton had put a lot of effort into keeping her at arm's length. At the end of the year though he knew she'd be getting ready to leave for university and he'd stay living with his mother, and that would be the end of this. However, fleeting this friendship may have been though, Ashton liked that she seemed to believe him, it was reassuring. "He's gay, isn't he? Mike, I think you're getting worried for no reason," Calum said, and Ashton blushed, Calum knew he was gay and was still kind to him. Wow, he really had bare minimum standards for men, he thought sarcastically. Ashton heard silence and imagined Calum putting a hand on Michael's shoulder, imagined because he couldn't see around the corner."He is gay, and he only gets like this when you're around Michael, maybe he has a thing for you," Crystal added in a playful tone."Hey, Calum's normally with me too! Maybe it's Calum," Michael defended"Oh, come on he's just shy alright, I was only teasing. Of course, it's more likely it's Calum, he's much cuter than you," Ashton knew for sure Crystal stuck her tongue out at Michael right after she said that. He heard Calum and Crystal laugh and decided he could safely re-join them, without them worrying about what he might have heard."Sorry I'd been busting all class," Ashton apologised as he joined them."That's all good, lets head out to the oval," Crystal asked as she grabbed Michael's hand.Ashton nodded, and they all headed in the direction of the oval, Calum and himself trailing behind the couple in front. He was tempted to try and start a conversation but thought it might be pushing his luck; he'd already been commanded half a dozen times that day.As nice as it was spending time with Crystal it increased his chances of being commanded exponentially, but maybe it was worth it to have friends for a change.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton had been in Crystal's bedroom a few times before; this was the first time it had been for anything other than a school assignment. She was texting away on her phone, and he was looking carefully around her room, she had a few new posters on her wall since he'd last been there and had hung a set of soft fairy lights around the room. The silence between them was comfortable, but it made Ashton realise he didn't really know all that much about Crystal. They'd not been friends that long, but he felt he should know more about her by now, he guessed he wasn't really used to having to make conversation and ask people about themselves.He took a quiet breath before rolling himself onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows. She looked up from where she sat cross-legged a few feet away, "so, how long have you and Michael been dating?"She thought for a moment, "I don't know, maybe three months? Why?""Just curious I guess, the four of you seem like you've been friends forever is all," he shrugged, he was curious, Crystal often seemed quite close with Luke and especially Calum, he didn't know much about dating. Still, couples in movies seemed to take longer to warm up to one another's friends."Well, I grew up with Cal, and then he met Michael and Luke, who were already friends from primary school. So, they all buddied up, and then when they started at our school in grade 7 Calum was so excited to introduce them to his cool older friend, and he came and found me," she laughed as she spoke, rolling her eyes fondly.Ashton couldn't help but smile along with her, wistful for that sort of history with other people. "Never thought I would end up dating one of his friends, I really didn't have that much to do with them until like grade 10," she continued, shrugging."So, you're pretty good friends with Luke too?" He wanted to understand their dynamic. Michael was so jealous of Ashton; he found it hard to imagine how the four of them worked together."Yeah, we're pretty close, I'm much closer with Calum and Michael obviously," she waggled her eyebrows at this, "but we used to talk about girls and music and stuff. Things have changed a bit, cause I started dating Michael and he started dating Sierra. Do you know her? She's really nice; I think you'd like her. Luke doesn't bring her to hang out with us much though; I think he thinks we're too weird," she made a face at this before chuckling."You let me hang around with everyone pretty quickly, are you saying I'm weird too?" Ashton asked with faux horror, he laughed, and he hoped she couldn't hear the nervousness underneath it. Crystal was cool with her boyfriend and her purple hair; he didn't want to make the wrong step and have her decide he was too dull to hang out with them. Which he realistically was."Honestly? I didn't have much choice; I like Michael a lot, but, he's very jealous. He kept seeing us around school together, so I thought it would be easier if you met. I also had a feeling you and Calum would be cute together, unfortunately, nothing has come of that yet," she shrugged, smirking at him.Ashton blushed deeply, which just made her laugh and he let a laugh bubble out of himself feeling a little more comfortable. He did, however, pray she would limit comments like that too when it was just the two of them. Also happily noting down that Calum was very much interested in boys.Her phone must have vibrated, or she had psychic abilities because she picked it up off the floor and grinned, "Michael's here," he reflexively sighed, and he thought he'd fucked up, but Crystal just laughed. "I promise, once you get a boyfriend, I will be your lookout whenever you need. Now go downstairs and gush about Calum or whatever it is you do on your own,"He held back a curse and rolled his eyes, getting up and leaving her room. He passed Michael on the stairs, and they did that weird nod, acknowledgment thing. A few seconds later, he heard Crystal giggle and the door close; then there was silence. As his foot lifted off the last step, though was when the real trouble started."Calum has such a lovely, strong jaw and arms, and when he smiles, it's like a soft knowing smile. He's always so polite and funny- "This went on and on, Ashton began to repeat some of the sentences, starting to sound like a broken record. The compulsion was so strong that he was speaking without even thinking, giving him time to think of all the better ways Crystal could have phrased her sentence. 'list all the things you like about Calum' would have been infinitely better, he would have at least been finished by now. As he began his list for the fifth (or was it sixth?) time, he realised there was a pretty good chance that Michael was going to hear him. He knew that the only way he'd stop was if he was interrupted and there was a 50/50 chance that it would be Crystal, Ashton didn't like those odds. He believed God had created his life as an irreverent comedy of errors and Crystal catching him was far less entertaining than if it were Michael.It had been about forty-five minutes before he heard the door upstairs open and footsteps on the stairs, "Ashton? Are you talking to yourself down there?" and he stopped just like that, sighing in relief.Maybe God was feeling merciful today.He laughed somewhat unconvincingly, "Yeah, I was just trying to remember a Tiktok," he lied, that wasn't a bad lie, he thought to himself.She laughed as well, not seeming to pick up on anything odd, "you're so weird, we want McDonald's, you in?" She asked, hand trailing down the staircase railing as she came closer.He noted she was wearing the same jeans but a different top and wondered quietly and sarcastically whatever could be the reasoning behind that.He groaned happily, "Yes, of course, I'm starving,""Why didn't you say something earlier?" She chuckled, holding her hand out behind her for Michael, who was clomping down the stairs."I was not walking in on that," Ashton stated disgust evident in his tone.Michael chuckled, "Wise choice."After that, they all climbed into Crystal's car, she was the only one with her licence, and they were lucky for it. She'd given him a few lifts home in the past and had even started offering to drive him to school; he didn't take her up on it often because she normally had a full car. After school, she, Michael, Calum, Luke and sometimes Sierra could be seen piling in and driving off, music blaring. That all seemed a bit much for Ashton just yet. He did, however, intend to start getting rides in the morning more often when things were a little tamer. He had to catch a train and bus at the moment and other than getting a ride with Crystal there wasn't much he could do to change it; his mother had decided many years ago that he wouldn't be getting his licence and Ashton wholeheartedly agreed. They both knew it would only be an opportunity for trouble. Other people, however, often felt the need to lecture him on how important a skill it was to have and give him a hard time for not just getting it. So, he'd told a little white lie. He told people he'd had a few seizures as a kid, and that because of it he didn't feel comfortable getting his licence in case they started again. The thought of if he were given a joking command behind the wheel that put other people's lives in danger was the only thing that could quell the guilt of lying about something like that."So, when did you start at our school Ashton?" Michael asked, Ashton hadn't been paying attention, but he imagined the polite conversation had been Crystal's idea."Ah in grade 7, it's the only secondary school I've ever been to," Ashton said trying to sound casual, he wanted to come across just right, Michael might warm up to him one of these days if he could just chill out."Oh, wow, really? I've never noticed you," he said, the surprise clear in his voice, "I mean no offence, I guess I just wasn't really paying attention,""Yeah, I'm uh- I try to keep to myself, but Crystal wouldn't' t let me be this year," Ashton chuckled a little uncomfortably, but Crystal grinned widely at him through the rear-view mirror. Michael's brows furrowed and he looked between them both, unsure what was so funny."We have a few classes together, and he always sat alone, so I might have teased him a little bit. I caught him after class one day and told him to stop checking my boyfriend out. He was a complete mess," she chuckled, "'oh no, I wasn't- I would never'" she mocked, "I eventually told him the guy wasn't my boyfriend and he just about collapsed with relief, and I haven't left him alone since," Crystal explained, still laughing to herself."That sounds about right," Michael chuckled, wiping a non-existent tear from under his eye in mock pride.Ashton grinned, laughing lightly, surely knowing she had approached him would help with winning Michael over. Not that it mattered he imagined just like with everyone else he would always feel he was on tenterhooks with both Michael and Crystal. There was something about knowing people could change your life in an instant, with just one sentence that made it hard to feel at ease around them, despite his best attempts.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

They were back at Crystal's, which was slowly becoming a common occurrence, Ashton had to admit it was nice having people to spend time with. Even if that time was spent having his arse handed to him playing Call of Duty. He wasn't a great player as it was, but Crystal was really good, even when she was taking quick glances at her phone every five seconds, she was still easily beating him. She hadn't answered any of her text messages though, and Ashton knew it was her trying to keep her promise of 'no Michael, just us'. She was doing better than he'd thought she would, considering the pair could tend to be joined at the hip.She'd managed to kill him again, and Ashton sighed, "Just reply to him, he'll probably die if you don't," she gave him a guilty smile and swapped her controller for her phone. He took the opportunity to respawn and kill her a few times. Ashton's kill/death ratio was still terrible, but he took pleasure in it nonetheless. "Mikey said Calum mentioned you today," she told him, not looking up from her phone.He fought the urge to roll his eyes, and hummed, watching the television a little too closely as he stabbed Crystal's newly respawned character again."Don't you wanna know what he said?" she asked, confusion in her voice."What am I twelve?" this time he did roll his eyes,She sighed, and Ashton stopped pretending to play, and he turned to her, "is that code for I'm not going to admit I want to know, but I expect you to tell me anyway?" he smiled knowingly at her but said nothing, "Ugh, he said you have gorgeous eyes," a grin split across her face."Okay that's fake, how does that even come up in conversation, you just want to use Calum as a distraction so you guys can make out without me getting annoyed," Ashton's eyes narrowed accusingly at her.She laughed, "Alright, believe whatever you want, Michael did just ask if the four of us – that's you, me, Michael and Calum – wanted to go and get food,"Something flipped in his stomach, and then he sighed exasperated, "I guess I could go for food,""You're a bad liar," Crystal chuckled.He blushed deeply and stood making his way downstairs as casually as he could, leaving Crystal still chuckling behind him.Once they'd picked the others up from Calum's, he and Ashton had been forgotten on the back seat like bags of groceries. Crystal's hand was in Michael's as she drove, him playing with her fingers, admiring them as though this were his first time seeing them.Calum was leant against the window on Michael's side of the car, his brow furrowed deeply. Ashton was tempted to ask him what was wrong, but the thought of trying to have a one on one conversation with Calum sent a wave of nerves through him like nothing else could. Instead, he chose to look out his own window, there wasn't much to see, but it made it easier to block out whatever it was Crystal and Michael were discussing.He heard Calum shift against the leather seats, "I'm not grouchy! You were supposed to help me work on the car, and instead, we're hanging out with Crystal again, why couldn't she have come to my place?" Calum asked, apparently there had been a conversation going on he'd missed, while he looked wistfully out the window.He'd never heard any of them argue before not that this was much of an argument, but it was the most annoyed he'd seen any of them with each other. The dynamic was entirely unknown. He was too uncomfortable to engage, not sure how serious they were also because he'd never expected to see Michael and Calum arguing over Crystal. Michael turned to face Calum, his hand resting on the centre console, "stop whining, you can't even drive it yet," he rolled his eyes and turned back toward the windscreen, making it even harder for Ashton to gauge how serious he was. "He wants to be able to invite dates over to sit in it and show it off," Crystal added, a clear jab at Calum's expense and an attempt to lighten the mood. He shifted uncomfortably, not that the others seemed to notice as they laughed at Calum, who had flushed slightly.Calum rolled his eyes at them, "I just want it so as soon as I can get my licence, I don't have to watch you two make out every time I need to go somewhere,"The pair in the front chuckled, but Calum didn't seem to be satisfied with the conversation's direction. When it seemed clear that no one else was going to speak Ashton attempted to break the residual tension, "well I'm always going to have to put up with these two, I'm not allowed to get my license," cheekily grinning at Crystal through the rear-view mirror."Why not?" Michael asked, looking back over his shoulder again."You had like seizures when you were a kid hey Ash? So, they won't let him drive just in case," Crystal told Michael.Ashton blushed, a smile splitting across his face and a warm feeling developing in his chest, a sense of being.. cared for? Known? He wasn't sure, but it felt intimate.He didn't express this; instead, he shrugged, "yeah, it's a precautionary thing I haven't had one since I was a kid," this was one of the lies he told that did make him feel guilty, but he couldn't really tell the truth, so he swallowed the feeling it left in his stomach. "Well when I get my license, and my car is running, you can ride with," Calum told him, "And these two can just fuck off," Michael and Crystal shared a conspiratory look, apparently certain it would be missed by the pair in the back, which to be fair, Calum was back to looking out the window with a cute little frown on his face. But Ashton saw it clear as day, they obviously thought their plan was working. He couldn't help but imagine what other schemes that might concoct.
Ashton nervously looked around the restaurant; he'd been told by Crystal that they were all going to meet here, it was outside the city, so he'd had to catch the train. He didn't like having to meet places, preferring being picked up so he knew he had the right time and place, but apparently Luke and Sierra had needed a ride too. He moved through the front room of the restaurant without seeing a single familiar face; he was midway through the backroom before his eyes landed on Calum. He was sat alone at a booth at the very back.

Their eyes met, and he gave the brown-skinned boy a warm smile and a wave but was met with a confused look in return. Surely Calum wasn't angry with him? And where was everyone else?

When he got to the table Calum, and he spoke simultaneously, "Where are the others?"

"What do you mean, where are they? They said they were running late because they were picking you up." Calum asked, looking around the room as though they might be hiding somewhere.

"They told me that I could meet everyone her..." Ashton let himself trail off before letting out a loud sigh, "we- we've been set up." What started as a low chuckle in the back of Calum's throat then became an unconfined booming laugh, "what's so funny? Is the idea of us that inconceivable to you?" Ashton bit back.

Calum stopped laughing, "Sorry no, it's just I knew they were plotting to get us together, but I didn't think it'd be this corny," he smiled looking up at Ashton. The standing boy let his defensive stance soften, and he smiled a little, but he was still very embarrassed by the whole situation. "Wanna go for a drive?"

"How? We're both stuck here thanks to Crystal,"

"I've got my car," Calum grinned standing once Ashton gave him a smile and a nod, he scooped Ashton's hand up in his own and led him out of the restaurant and into the parki-
He heard tapping on the glass beside his head and saw Crystal, "Ash, we're here come on,"Supposing Calum wasn't entirely opposed, maybe being set up wouldn't be terrible.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Crystal picked him up for school a few mornings later, and he'd had a pretty cheery outlook for the day even after she told him 'give us a smile', and he'd been stuck grinning like a mad man for the three blocks to Calum's. When she'd told him to move over for Calum, the grin had finally faded from his face, and he was able to lift his head up again. Before that, he'd been sitting awkwardly with his chin tucked against his chest in an attempt to avoid having to explain the painful-looking smile. All in a day's work is what he'd thought and tried to stay on the positive note he'd started the day with."Have a good weekend?" Calum asked as he slid into the backseat, placing his bag between his feet on the floor.Ashton hummed, "Yeah I caught up on most of my assignments, so I was able to just watch Netflix all weekend," he told him simply, hoping a weekend alone watching Netflix didn't come across sad and lonely."Ugh, I wish that had been me, but Luke wanted us to go to some dumb jewellery store with him looking for something for Sierra and then on Sunday Mike got the new Call of Duty, so he wanted us to go over and play that. I mean not that it wasn't fun, but it would have been nice to have at least one day where I was just doing nothing you know?" Calum explained, letting the words out in one long stream.Ashton had nodded along as he spoke, he didn't really get it he was never inundated with people wanting to do things, but he liked to think he could imagine. "Yeah, it's nice to have nothing to do every now and then," he replied simply.After that Crystal turned the music up, and Michael spun around grinning at Calum. It must have been a song they all knew because he grinned back and the three started singing along. Ashton watched a small smile on his face and noticed that Calum had a pretty nice voice. Michael, on the other hand, was intentionally screaming along poorly to the lyrics and shot Crystal a dirty look when she turned off the car (and by extension the music) as they pulled into the parking lot.They were early, and Crystal apologised saying she was used to picking up Luke, who lived on the opposite side of the suburb. Ashton didn't mind, even though being around everyone made him a bit anxious, it was nice to spend time outside of the house just socialising.When they got to their lunch spot Luke was waiting for them, "hey guys," Luke said, looking up from his phone as they approached. As Ashton took a seat next to him, Luke turned to grin at him, "bet you're glad Sierra and I don't need a ride anymore, enjoying not having to walk?"This wasn't entirely uncommon for them, Luke seemed to be the one who tried the hardest to be his friend and Ashton appreciated it. It made him easier to be around than the others. Michael always seemed to be watching him, waiting for him to mess up and profess his undying love for Crystal. And Calum, well, he made Ashton's stomach flip flop, so he was never a calming presence even if he was lovely to look at, doing so always managed to send a deep flush up Ashton's neck.Luke, however, was inconsequential, not that Ashton didn't like him and didn't want Luke to like him in return, it was just that Luke didn't think he was trying to date his girlfriend, and Ashton didn't have a crush on him so talking to him was infinitely easier.So, he laughed easily in response, "yeah you could have started walking earlier," he could almost imagine Michael's ears flicking up in interest, Ashton was not a joker, not with Michael anyway.Luke laughed back, "I'm so inconsiderate," he rolled his eyes and turned over his shoulder to start saying something to Calum and Ashton noticed that both Michael and Calum had been watching the exchange. Not pointedly or suspiciously just with a level of curiosity, Ashton hadn't expected. Crystal was typing away on her phone unfazed, and so Ashton shifted his focus back to Luke, who in turn diverted his attention from Calum.They chatted about Sierra, Luke's classes and what ATAR he was hoping for, and Ashton watched out of the corner of his eye as Calum and Michael's apparent shock waned, and they started up a conversation between themselves, and he was able to forget about them and their eyes. After the first bell rang the pair walked all the way to Luke's first class still chatting and when Ashton waved Luke off and headed on his way to his own class a smile was plastered across his face.There was an ease to the way they talked that Ashton wished he could translate to Calum; it was just that he and Luke had no expectations of one another and that made things infinitely easier.He met Crystal outside their morning class, Biology, they had finally had to hand in the research papers they'd been putting off. It honestly hadn't ended up being that bad, and the class was going relatively well considering this teacher could tend to be an asshole in the morning.But then Ashton had put his hand up, and things would have still been fine if his teacher hadn't paused where he had."Yes, Ashton?""Can I please use the bathroom, sir?""Ashton its first period you can't need to go already,""Please sir, I'm busting,""Wet yourself then" then the fateful millisecond too long pause, "I'm kidding you can go but be quick,"It was too late; Ashton had done exactly as he'd been told. He'd, fortunately, had the entire classes attention and he blushed a deep shade of red and sprinted out of the classroom. When he got to the bathroom, he hid in one of the shower cubicles and took his pants and underwear off and washed them in the shower as best as he could.As his clothes hung over the shower wall drying, he sat on the floor, naked butt on the floor and tears streaking down his cheeks.This was his own fault. He knew not to draw attention to himself; he never raised his hand in class unless it was absolutely necessary. He'd been riding the high of his conversation with Luke before class and the few nice days he'd been having with Crystal of late.He groaned as he tried to figure out how he was going to get out of the bathroom. There was no way he could tell his mum; she would just apologise over and over again and cry. He started to wring his underwear dry, and once it was only slightly damp, he put them back on. The sickly-sweet smell of the school hand soap had masked the smell of pee, and he now felt he could venture out and use the hand dryer to aid in the drying of his school shorts.As the continuous hum of the dryer melted into the back of his mind thoughts of running away and never having to face any of his classmates ever again began to be inescapable. As ashamed as he was by the idea that everyone thought he was incapable of holding his bladder, the consuming sadness of knowing that this could happen a dozen more times was a hundred times worse. He had no control over his life not even in the simplest of ways, and that was an incredibly debilitating thought. He'd never have a normal life, and things that were beyond his control would ostracise him for the rest of his life. So, after the first bell rang, he hid in the shower cubicle again until the next bell sounded and then snuck out in his still-damp pants to the train station.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

He'd caught the train home from school after first period ended and had taken the train to school this morning, actively avoiding seeing Crystal and the others. He'd arrived at school as early as possible, so early there hadn't been another person from his school get off at the platform with him. His thought was that if he got there early enough and went and hid up in the stairwell, he wouldn't have to see anyone at the train station (success). He also wouldn't have to walk past anyone in the halls, and he could sneak into class well after the first bells had rung, without running into the people skipping class out the front, which seemed like a well thought out plan in his own mind.The plan, no matter how well thought out though didn't account for the fact, lots of people did extracurriculars in the morning, and that douchebags that liked to bully him wouldn't do extracurriculars. He'd slunk past them as inconspicuously as he could manage, but they saw him anyway and jeered and whooped at him. He didn't pay much attention to the content because he could feel the hot gaze of everyone else in the hall on him and quickened his pace. He took his place on the staircase and sighed deeply, they hadn't called his mum yesterday for some reason, but if he skipped classes again today, they'd call her for sure. He had to face the music.As he was mulling that over sadly, he heard a familiar voice call out, "I wondered if you'd be hiding in a staircase, it's a smart choice, I just didn't know which one," when Ashton looked up Calum was smiling at him and making his way over to sit beside him.Ashton didn't know what to say, and his cheeks were growing redder and redder. He really didn't want to acknowledge this, especially with Calum of all people. Calum spoke again though before he could worry much more, "I don't know what to say to make you feel better, you don't need to be embarrassed around us. We don't care what those dickheads think," he rolled his eyes and shrug simultaneously.He opened his mouth to explain, "I-I-"but the words caught in his throat, and the voice of a person he never met whispered, 'I think it's best we keep this between the three of us'. He'd never had to be told he knew, knew it was her voice, he sighed, "I'm just so embarrassed, I can't believe I did that,"He felt a hand on his shoulder, "Hey look when you gotta go; you gotta go. At least it wasn't a number two" Calum laughed standing up and offering a hand to Ashton. Despite himself, Ashton laughed a little too, not without an eye roll first, but he did laugh. "C'mon Crystal's already been complaining about having no company in class. Which means Michael complains to me about Crystal's complaining. So you're going to come to McDonald's with us this afternoon, and you're going to keep getting rides from Crystal. Otherwise, you'll hurt all of our feelings," he pulled a dramatic frown at Ashton as he finished, so in spite of himself, Ashton laughed and followed.After that Calum texted the others that they could stop looking for him, apparently, they'd all split up and gone to different hidey holes around the school in search of him and Ashton's heart warmed the tiniest little bit. It practically soared when they briefly met up with the others before class, where he got a pat on the head from Luke, a warm hug from Crystal and a sympathetic look from Michael.Then Crystal was leading him off to their first class, and she told him in no uncertain terms that anyone who had anything to say to him would have to come through her. Ashton laughed along, not really believing the thin girl could be much of a physical threat, but in the back of his mind, he knew she probably already had some biting comments stored up her sleeve."Michael thinks you're really weird now like he thought you were weird before, but now, so weird," she giggled, and Ashton couldn't help but join her. He hadn't thought Michael's poor opinion of him could drop any lower, but apparently there was a ways to go."Maybe I should just tell him I was trying to mark you," he added cheekily, and Crystal's giggles dissolved into full-blown fits of laughter.started laughing, really hard and Ashton joined in, they were laughing incredibly hard on their way to class.She was bent over clutching her sides when she managed to wheeze out, "I'm, I'm going to pee myself,"That was it; it wasn't laughter anymore it was two people doubled over, gasping for air and to any outsider for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Once they recovered, Ashton couldn't keep the grin off his face; all things considered, he supposed it wasn't 'normal' that he was having such a good day.The rest of the day passed with quite a few jeers directed his way, but true to her word Crystal was there with a biting comment or a 'go fuck yourself' in response. So the day passed quite quickly and, then everyone (minus Michael, who had gotten detention for his eyebrow bar) headed off to McDonald's."And then Crystal said, 'I'm going to pee myself' and holy fuck," Ashton finished, wiping away tears from his eyes. The table dissolved into laughter again, even Sierra who Ashton was only meeting for the second time was laughing along with him at possibly the most embarrassing thing he'd ever done in his life."You can't tell Michael what Ashton said though, he will not find it as funny as we all do," Crystal warned, throwing a serious look over the group.Ashton blushed a deep red, it might not have seemed like a big deal, but it always was, it was like coming out all over again acknowledging that you're gay in front of a new group of people. He pretty much knew that everyone would react fine, but a little piece fraction of doubt kept him nervous. "Yeah, it's like Michael doesn't get that I'm gay," he said it with a throwaway tone and rolled his eyes.One millisecond.Two milliseconds."He's just never had a girlfriend before he thinks everyone's going to steal her, she's icky anyway," Calum grinned, Crystal poked her tongue at him from across the table."I don't think you're icky, I think you're wonderful," Sierra added matter-of-factly."Hands off my girlfriend Crystal, honestly," Luke said playfully pulling Sierra toward him."What a shame you're gay though Ashton, one of my friends, thinks you're really cute, I don't mean it like you shouldn't be gay, but she's really nice. Like what a shame she's not a guy?" Sierra looked up with an eyebrow raised, seemingly asking, 'do you know what I mean?'"What she meant-" Luke went to explain, but Ashton cut him off."I know what she meant, I'm very flattered that you think I'm good enough for your friend," Ashton smiled at her, and her warm eyes radiated a thankfulness. Ashton didn't mind he knew when people were ignorant or trying to be mean and when they just didn't know exactly how to express what they meant."We'll find someone for Ashton, I have to after all the times he's already guarded the door for Michael and me," Crystal announced wrapping an arm around Ashton's shoulder."You're a brave man Mr Irwin, thank you for taking the duty off my hands," Calum said solemnly. "It's like listening to Michael make out with my sister but slightly less gross, only slightly,"Everyone laughed again, and Ashton was sad for a moment that Michael hadn't been there to bond with them, but then again if he were here maybe it wouldn't have been like this.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

His mother had never tried to tell his father about the curse, Ashton didn't know if the magic that bound him from telling anyone extended to his mother, but she'd never mentioned telling, or even trying to tell anyone about it. All of this was a long-winded way of saying that his father had left because of him.Ashton had been a strange child, most children are, but him more so than others, always seemingly in trouble, or off in an impossible situation for a person his age. It really hadn't taken him that long to realise that his son was... odd, and after that, it had only been a matter of time before he left. There was an unspoken, animosity between his mother and father that Ashton attributed to an argument he'd heard not long before his father had left.
At the top of the stairs Ashton sat, just like a child in every film about broken homes you've ever seen, but instead of being woken by his parents' loud voices, he was incapable of sleeping. He'd lost his first tooth at school that day, and a kid had told him to stay up all night and catch the tooth fairy. So, no matter how tired the small boy grew, he was incapable of drifting off to sleep.

It was as he was waiting for his father to leave so he could explain to his mother what had happened that he'd heard the argument.

"I know there's something wrong with him, just tell me what it is, we can work through it. My parents will be more than happy to help if money is going to be an issue, I just want Ashton to be okay," his father had said, his voice full of worry, it sounded like they'd had this conversation before.

His mother had scoffed unconvincingly, "there's nothing wrong with Ashton, he's- he's just hyperactive," she had tried to explain.

"Then let's have another baby, we always planned to have two or three kids, but we've just given up on that apparently," he asked, there was what Ashton now recognised as a plea in his voice.

"I don't think I want more kids anymore, Ashton's enough and I love him, I don't need any more kids," her voice wavered as she spoke.

"Oh? And you just get to decide for us then?" his fathers voice was growing louder.

"You don't know what it's like, you didn't give birth okay? It's harder than you could understand,"

"Then we'll get a surrogate!"

"No! Jesus Christ, can't you see I'm not ready, I don't want this?" She nearly screamed.
He hadn't understood all those years ago that his mother had been afraid, terrified, that there were worse 'gifts' a child could be given than obedience. And in spite of himself he even felt a tiny bit bad for his dad, it must have been hard to understand this complete shift in the woman he loved, but he also didn't think he'd really tried all that hard to understand.Family members on both sides seemed to have the same issue, that they couldn't and wouldn't understand the strange little boy and his overprotective mother, so they grew further and further from everyone. Now it was just the two of them, and Ashton didn't mind, but he knew his mother was terribly lonely a lot of the time.Because of this, she had a point to prove when it came to Ashton having to see his father. Twice a year, every year since he left Ashton would see his father for an afternoon. They would awkwardly talk around his new family, but Ashton had searched them on Facebook, he had two stepchildren and a wife named Caitlin. Both Ashton and his mother had sighed in relief when he'd told them that he wasn't going to have any more biological children because Caitlin had, had her tubes tied after having the two kids.There had also been a number of... oddities happen during his visits with his father that made this final visit with his father (yes, final, as soon as he turned eighteen it was up to Ashton if he wanted to speak with his father, and he didn't) very important to her. In the past, Ashton had fled the house to beat up a bully on his father's command, told his mother to fuck off, smashed his face into his birthday cake, and made a suicide attempt (of his own volition). So, Ashton had to admit that even he sort of wanted to prove to his father that he had grown up just fine.So, he and his mother and father sat together eating sandwiches and drinking cokes in the immaculate living room, a tension palpable in the air. They discussed Ashton's grades, which were fantastic, and so naturally, the conversation progressed in the direction of university."I'm more than happy to help pay for your furniture for your new apartment, I bet you'll be wanting to move into the city, or maybe even go to Melbourne?" his dad asked, sipping at his coke."I think I'm just going to apply to UNSW and maybe ACU, I'm not sure though, I might put it off for a year yet," Ashton confessed, he knew that not wanting to move out of his mum's house seemed suspicious, but it's not like he could really leave, even if he wanted to."Oh? Well we could put the money towards a car instead; you'll be heading back and forth between here and uni all the time, it'll be good to have the choice between driving or taking the train," he said diplomatically, and Ashton flushed."I um, don't have my licence, and I'm not going to get it, you know because of those seizures I used to have as a kid?"It was his father's turn to flush now, "Uh, yes, I suppose that's fair, well you know, let me know if you decide on something you need, I could even put some money aside for textbooks and things, just say the word," he smiled uncomfortably.Both he and his mother thanked him for his generosity and the afternoon continued on in much the same uncomfortable and stilted fashion until they were hugging uncomfortably in the doorway.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After what they considered their most successful and by extension uneventful meeting with his dad, his mother seemed to think that was something worth celebrating. She'd handed him a $50 note and told him to go 'hang out with those new friends of yours'. And Ashton had never gone without anything, his mum made sure he had clothes that were clean and fit, that he had plenty to eat and even a few luxurious, but he'd never been given $50 to go and spend as he wished. Which made the evening even sweeter.He texted Crystal immediately, praying that she and Michael weren't off having sex somewhere and that she'd be free. She replied almost immediately saying she'd organise the others and get back to him, which she did twenty or so minutes later, informing him that they'd meet at Coogee around seven that night. He wasn't sure what anyone could get up to at the beach that late at night, but he was in no position to be picky, this was the first time he'd had friends to invite anywhere.He caught the train and then the bus out to the beach, and made sure he arrived at quarter past seven, not wanting to be waiting alone on the beach for the others to arrive. The others were waiting on the beach, standing around in a circle, laughing and chatting loudly."Hey!" Luke called out, "didn't think your mum would let you out after dark," he chuckled, flagging Ashton over with his hand.He chuckled in what he tried to make a casual way, "she doesn't care much where I go, as long as she knows when I'm going to be home," he shrugged and wondered if that was normal for teenagers or not. He and his mum had never had a very conventional relationship, he really could have gotten away with much more If he'd really pushed it, but he didn't like taking advantage of his mothers' guilt."That's so fucking cool, wish my parents were like that, I had to tell my mum that Calum and Luke were definitely going to be here, or she said I couldn't come," he rolled his eyes, "If I were you I'd never be at home," he laughed."Not to play the loser card again, but, I don't really have anywhere to go to be out of the house unless I want to watch you and Crystal make out," he laughed, and the others joined in, "I mostly just study and play my guitar,""Really? Luke asked excitedly, "We all play guitar too!""Yeah I was taking drum lessons for a while as well, but it's a bit expensive, I have got a pad I still try and practice on a bit, I want to save up and buy a kit though," he tried to explain, his excitement getting the better of him."Fuck that's be cool, we should all jam together one day," Michael said excitedly, and Ashton couldn't help but grin and nod, Michael was talking to him like a person.Calum wrapped his arms around Luke and Michael's shoulders, "Ready to go order?" he asked, looking around and everyone, a goofy smile on his face."Oh, that reminds me," Ashton dug through his pockets and pulled out the fifty dollar note, "my mum said it's her shout,""Wow, are you sure, Ash?" Luke asked astonished."Yeah, this is what she gave it to me for," he laughed pushing it into Luke's hand, he didn't dare press it into Calum's, afraid he'd hold it too long, or his hands would be sweaty, or- or just anything terrible would happen."Alright well we'll go order then, what do you two want?" Michael sighed leaning his head back against Calum's arm."I don't know about Ash, but I want plain cheese, I don't feel like any meat today," she said, making a face."Yeah I don't mind, I'll have a bit of whatever anyone else gets,""Cool, we're just going to head up to the Dominos, so we won't be long," Luke said happily, Calum let his arms fall from the other two's shoulders, and they all turned to head up the steep hill toward the street."Uh, good now they're gone we can just hang for a bit, so what'd you do to get that much money from your mum? Did you steal it?" Crystal asked as she gently pulled Ashton down to sit on the sand with her."I had to see my Dad today, we- we uh, see each other twice a year, and we don't get on very well so my mum thought that it'd be nice for us all to get pizza, make the day a little better, I would never steal from my mum," Ashton said defensively."Sorry, I just- it seemed random," Ashton thought his defensiveness had put a damper on the conversation, but she continued, "so how long have they been separated then?""I don't know, almost as long as I can remember. It's the last time I have to visit him. I'll be eighteen before the next visit, so if I want, I never have to see him again,"She didn't respond, and they both seemed to mull over the words and the silence, and Ashton appreciated that sometimes just having someone hear you was all you needed. He didn't want to deal with her apologising. She had a pretty typical family, so he doubted she understood what it was like, and she definitely didn't understand the 'being the cause of you parents breaking up because you have a literal magical curse on you' of it all either. Instead, she leant her head against his shoulder as they leaned back on their elbows, watching the night waves roll in and out.After a while though he could feel her shivering slightly and she sat up, wrapping her arms around herself, "those guys are taking forever like Dominos are so fast, this is ridiculous," Crystal sighed.A voice answered back almost immediately, "you'll forgive us once you see what we've brought babe," Her head whipped around at the sound of her boyfriend's voice."Oooh, wine," she said happily, and Ashton slowly tuned to see the three guys walking back, Michael with wine bottles in hand, Luke with the pizza in his arms and Calum with seemingly nothing."And a little something else," Calum grinned gently shaking a little baggie in his hand, "We thought it was only fair we pitch in for something, and only if you want to Ash, you don't have to,"Michael handed Ashton one of the bottles of wine, "drink up," Ashton rolled his eyes and undid the bottle, taking a large swig. He would have had a drink anyway; he didn't need to be told to have a drink. He took a few deep breaths and had to remind himself that the others didn't know what their phrasing did. Ashton went to pass the bottle to Crystal, and she shook her head and started to stand up, dusting herself off as she went."We're going to go and have a chat," Crystal said, grabbing Michael's hand and leading him further down the beach, and out of sight with the other bottle of wine."Well more weed for us then," Luke said with an eye roll putting the pizza boxes down before he and Calum joined Ashton on the sand.Calum passed the little clear bag to Luke, "I'm assuming you've never smoked before Ash? If you don't want to, I won't either," he gave the older boy a soft, reassuring smile."it's alright; I mean, why not really?" Ashton said, trying as he might be casual.Calum just nodded and opened the pizza box taking a slice of pepperoni out before Luke took one as well and finally, Ashton. Luke was trying to cut up the small bud as well as eat his pizza, and it was painful to watch, Calum beckoned for the wine in Ashton's lap, and he handed it over still watching Luke."Have you ever drunk alcohol before?" Calum asked through a mouthful of pizza, he washed that down with a swig of wine."Nah, I've never really had anyone to do this sort of thing with," Ashton shrugged, taking the bottle back from Calum again, the tan boy had tried to offer it to Luke, but the other boy was far too focused on his cutting."Well at least you have interesting hobbies, you could have stayed out of trouble, and I don't know... made bad macaroni art, guitar and drums are much cooler. I play the bass unlike the other two, but I can play a six-string, it just makes for a better sound when we jam though if I don't,""Yeah, I really want to get more into the drums, but it's just so pricey, like a guitar is like sixty bucks, albeit a crappy one but like even a kids drumkit it like close to seven hundred dollars," Ashton sighed sadly taking a swig of the wine before handing it back.Luke finally looked up, "I reckon you'd be an absolute maniac behind the drums," he'd said laughing.Ashton blushed slightly laughing and looked at Calum who gave him a nod and an eyebrow wiggle, "all that pent-up rage," he'd added.The older boy rolled his eyes, "Do you think those two are ever going to come back for pizza?" he asked."I think Michael's already eating out," Luke chuckled, it took Ashton a moment before it clicked, and he dissolved into a fit of giggles. Luke was laughing at Ashton laughing, and Calum was watching them both grinning. It took another few moments before they settled back down, and Luke finished cutting and started rolling and once he was done he said, "okay it's been real you two, but I'm going to a party of one of Si's friends, I rolled two other joints, they're in the bag, I'm going to take this one alright?""Didn't invite the rest of us?" Calum asked jokingly."It's Emily's party, you really want to go to that?" Luke asked, raising his eyebrows.They both just laughed, and Ashton wondered what the joke was that he'd managed to miss. Instead of asking though, he gestured to the pizza, "do you want to take a pizza with you? We all know those two aren't going to come back for it,""Are you sure?"Ashton just nodded so the other boy took a box out from underneath the pizza Calum and Ashton had all but destroyed and gave them a wave saying thank you, after thank you as he left.Luke hadn't been gone more than a minute, and Calum was turning to Ashton with a grin, lighter in hand. He flicked it a few times, running it under the palm of his hand, Ashton wasn't sure what sort of response he hoping to get from him, but he went with an eye-roll. Which he was met with another massive grin. After he lit one of the joints, he took a long draw himself and then passed it to Ashton.He took it unsure in whether he was going to get laughed at or not and brought it gingerly to his lips, taking a long draw. He'd always heard people make fun of anyone who couldn't inhale properly, and he really didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Calum. As he passed it back as exhaled, coughing as he did. He blushed as they made eye contact."Happens to everyone their first few times, don't worry," Calum reassured as he took another draw.They passed the joint back and forth between the two of them over and over, until it was finished, and they both laid back in the sand. Ashton had shifted himself, so they were laying top and tail until Calum complained about being near his feet. Ashton moved to lay down beside him, and his nerves started to build, they were less than a foot apart, and it was all Ashton could think about."So, what do you think of weed so far?" Calum hummed, letting his eyes drift closed."It's not what I thought it'd be like, it's fewer dragons and more I don't know chill," Ashton admitted embarrassed."It's good, hey? I'll teach you how to roll next time,""Mmmm," Ashton said, feeling his eyes droop closed, and a sigh leave his lips.They were quiet for a long moment, both staring up at the sky, a small collection of stars visible despite the light pollution from the city.Calum rolled onto his side, and Ashton could feel his breath on the aide of his face, "what would you say if I said the moon landing was fake?"His eyes flicked open, and he turned his head to the side, so they were face to face, "I'd say prove it,""Okay so, like the Arms race right? I think the Americans were like we have to prove that our long-range missiles can go further than Russia's or the Soviet Union whatever they were and so they were like, we have to beat them so let's just pretend. And they faked the moon landing and like waved their dick in Russia's face and then like six months later they snuck up to the moon once they could make it," Calum rushed all his words out as quickly as he could, keeping their eyes locked the whole time, an excited glint in them.Ashton started to giggle and nodded, "what? What's funny?" Calum asked a smile still on his face."I'm not sure; I think it's just the weed. Or maybe it's that you're so cute getting all excited about the moon landing," Ashton admitted."Yeah?" Calum asked, leaning in as he grinned.Ashton nodded and went to speak, but was interrupted by Michael's voice from behind him, "did you guys eat all the pizza and smoke everything?"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton and Michael were waiting, somewhat uncomfortably for Calum and Luke to finish up at some group meeting in the library, Crystal was in the bathroom, and the pair were seemingly incapable of making conversation on their own."Look, boys, pissy pants is over there with his mate," Ashton's head snapped up, and he saw a boy from one of his classes, two other boys behind and a smirk across his face.He wanted to roll his eyes at the pathetic jeer but restrained himself, Michael didn't seem to have the same level of discipline though, "Don't fucking start," he said in a huff."Oh? I see how it is, you're going to have other people fight for you. Are you his faggot boyfriend?"Ashton rolled his eyes, "He's not my boyfriend, just leave us alone," he grabbed at Michael's elbow and tugged him toward the library doors, hoping that merely leaving would be enough to defuse the situation."Come back here," Ashton stopped immediately and dropped Michael's elbow, turning and walking back to them. He tried to keep his face a mask of indifference, Michael needed to think that Ashton was ready to confront them."What? What could you possibly have to say-"Ashton was cut short by a fast jab into his stomach, followed quickly by another, and another.He heard a gasp and a 'what the fuck' from behind him and assumed Michael was looking on in horror. It wasn't the first time Ashton had ended up in a position like this, he was an easy target for assholes like this because if they told him to sit still or not tell anyone, he would have to do it. They didn't realise he had to, they just assumed he was too embarrassed to leave. Thankfully because he never put up much of a fight, the other two were only watching on with laughter, rather than joining in, that was until Michael made the mistake of reaching an arm forward and trying to tug Ashton out of the others reach.They didn't even speak, seemingly knowing exactly what they were going to do, they each grabbed Michael by the arm and started in on him as well. Ashton could see them laying into him as he himself got another hard punch to the stomach. Michael twisted in their grip, and they moved out of Ashton's line of sight but based on the sounds coming from the other they couldn't be doing anything good to him."Fucking fight back Ashton," he groaned, "beat the shit out of them,"Like any command he felt the tug in the back of his mind and then his body was pulling itself free, and his fists started to lay into the boy who'd had him in the hold. Commands like this always flooded him with adrenaline and left him feeling like he was sitting in the backseat of his body. His fists were flying, and he could feel sweat beading off him, but his hands were numb, he couldn't feel them hit against the bodies of the boys who'd had Michael pinned. And he didn't really start to get any feeling back in them or have the fog leave his brain until the last guy hit the floor and Michael stood back, mouth agape in what could only be described as fear. Then slowly, the pain in his stomach returned, and an ache in his hands started up."What in god's name has gone on here? All of you to my office right now!" the Principal's voice boomed from behind them.
Fuck.
The five of them trudged after the Principal to her office, each nursing their respective wounds and all of them meek looks on their faces. She took the others first and left Michael and Ashton to stew over what she was going to say to them in the hall.Ashton sighed deeply and turned to face the other, "I'm so sorry, Michael; I didn't mean to get you involved. Especially with the, uh, fighting," a stray tear ran down his cheek, and it stung, there was a cut there he'd have to deal with later, "I fucked up again,""It'll be fine, we just need to be honest," Michael said not looking up from where his eyes were focused on his shoes, even with his downturned head Ashton could see the bruise developing under his eye, and the guilt started to build in his stomach, right between the two big bruises he could feel developing there.They stayed silent as they waited and Ashton's mins started to wander to what Crystal, Luke and Calum were doing right now, they were probably confused as to where they were, and he was already dreading having to explain this to them.They didn't have to wait much longer, and the others exited the office, and the instigator made eye contact with Ashton, "don't talk to that bitch, or I'll fucking kill you,"Ashton wanted to groan, only these assholes would feel like they could threaten him after just having their arses beat. Neither he nor Michael said anything to them though as the forwarded off god knows where.The three guys from before exited the office the instigator making eye contact with Ashton, "Don't talk to that bitch, or I'll kill you,""Come in you two,"They stood wordlessly and moved into the office, taking up two of the empty chairs in front of her desk, both only looking up to face her once they were seated. Ashton had never had much to do with any of the office staff or the Principals in his years at the school, so he'd never even been this close to the woman until now. She was messy looking, she had long brown hair, that was in a sloppy, 'just rolled out of bed' sort of bun, her makeup looked hurriedly put on, and her clothes were a mash of unmatched colours.None of this made he any less terrifying, maybe if she'd been an art teacher it might have made her more approachable, but as a Principal it made her look like she was far too busy to be polite, and that if you got in her road, she'd have no problem taking you down a few pegs."I want you to explain what's happened," she said as soon as they'd sat down.Ashton attempted to speak even though he knew nothing would come out, opening and closing his mouth like a fish, seemed to be enough of a queue for Michael to step in, "we were just waiting for our friends, and then they came over and started giving Ashton a hard time about the other day. We were going to leave and then the tall dude, he called Ashton back and then started laying into him hard. I tried to stop him, but then the others grabbed me, and one pinned me while the other punched, and then Ashton must have gotten sick of it cause he wriggled out of that guy's arms and came over and got them off of me," Michael explained in a rush of words. "Ashton was just defending us," he added quickly."Hmm, well between the two stories I just heard that one is the only one that explains why you're also badly beaten," she said thoughtfully, "that being said there is still absolutely no reason for you to have beat them so badly Ashton, you should have just gotten yourselves free and gone and found a staff member," she said matter-of-factly her eyes coasting a serious look over the two of them. "That was incredibly vicious self-defence, Mr Irwin, I will be speaking to your mother about you seeing someone for anger management," she shuffled some papers on her desk, and the pair waited with bated breath for what she would say next. "Detention every afternoon for the rest of the term seems like fair punishment, both of you Ruben building, room 2.06 every day after school, I'll see you both starting tomorrow," she said, and her tone said that that was the end of the matter and they got up and exited the room.As soon as they were down the hall away from the office, Michael rounded on Ashton, "what the fuck was that? Why didn't you say anything? This is all because of you, and you didn't even defend yourself, little alone me,""I-I didn't know how to explain it without it sounding terrible; I'm so sorry, Michael. I really am I should have just let you leave; I didn't think they'd turn on you too. I'm really sorry." Ashton pleaded."I don't know what your problem is; it's like you're fucking asking for trouble. You can't just be normal, can you?" Michael rolled his eyes and sighed, turning to leave, he was storming, but his body language told Ashton he was not welcome to follow.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had been three days since Michael and Ashton had gotten into the fight and they'd seen each other every for detention once since then, and they hadn't spoken a word. Ashton had also made a point of sitting in the staircase instead of trying to join the others for lunch, he was sure once Michael told them what had happened, he wouldn't be welcome there anymore.He also kept returning to the same staircase in hopes that Calum would come looking for him, it was stupid really, they were barely friends and yeah maybe Ashton had thought they were about to kiss that night at the beach but, it was all in his head. Really what it all meant was that he had recurring daydreams about Calum coming and finding him and saying that he really wanted him to hang out with them. He'd had a few crushes like this before, almost all his others he'd chalked up to sheer loneliness, but this one was different, he actually got to spend time with Calum, so he knew he was nice and funny. Plus, he had friends now, well had being the keyword, so he wasn't lonely anymore, It was odd how much more a crush could hurt when you actually really liked the person, he'd always thought they were based entirely on aesthetics.Ashton was deep in the thought about the fact that he might not get to spend time with Calum anymore and also about how many relationship dynamics he possibly did not fully understand when he heard feet at the top of the stairs and his head whipped around. A deep blush colouring his cheeks as soon as he saw it actually was Calum standing there, the younger boy quirked an eyebrow at him and grinned."So, is this your official hiding place now? If I'm ever looking for you, I can come here?" Calum asked, the grin still fixed on his face as he made his way down the few steps between, he and Ashton, sitting down beside him."Thought you were avoiding me like the others," Ashton admitted, his face still flaming."Luke and I have been away for state tryouts, but I'm sure if you'd actually spoken to Crystal, she would have told you she's not avoiding you. In fact, she told me that you'd vanished the past couple of days. Luke and I got back last night and first thing this morning when she picked me up, 'I haven't seen Ashton in days, I think he's avoiding me! Michael yelled at him, and now I can't find him anywhere, and he won't reply to my texts'" Calum said in his best mock off Crystal's voice.Ashton chuckled, "I- it's dumb, I know," he said, his face contorting into an uncomfortable as he tried to keep his voice even, "It's just that-"his voice broke, and a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes, and as he tried to wipe them away with the back of his hand a sob wracked through his body. He was blushing terribly now and trying to hide his face behind his hands."Hey, it's okay," Calum consoled, carefully placing a hand on Ashton's back and rubbing in soothing circles. "Why didn't you just explain it to her? From what Michael said, you did the right thing up until you wouldn't talk to her,"He opened his mouth, ready to confess to everything, to tell Calum that he couldn't even if he'd wanted to and it was all because of this curse, that there were so many things he hadn't wanted to do but had to, but just like normal the words caught in his throat. "I feel like Michael was- was way too kind with the way he explained things, I-I beat the shit out of those guys Cal. I couldn't stop, and they were so badly hurt, and I couldn't believe that I'd done that, and then I just froze up," it was partly a lie and partly entirely true, "I spoke to her after detention the first day, and I explained that it was my fault and the only person who was genuinely, entirely a victim was Michael, but on the day I just couldn't get the words out,""Why didn't you just explain it to Michael like that?" Calum asked, his brows furrowed but his eyes kind."He makes me so nervous, You and Luke I'm pretty good with but Michael, it just feels like he doesn't want to like me, which is fine, I don't mind if he doesn't like me, he doesn't have to. He was so angry the other day, I thought talking to him would just make things worse, Crystal always made it seem like he was ready to write me off as soon as he got the chance," Ashton explained."He got into a fight for you- Crystal-," Calum sighed, "I just don't think she wanted to share, I know that's bad to say, but you're her only friend that was just hers. The only reason she's friends with Luke and dating Michael is that they were my friends, that's how she met them, and same with Sierra she only knows her because of Luke. You're the only friend that was just hers, we've been asking her to bring you around for ages, but she always made excuses. I think she just exaggerated a little to maybe try and protect your friendship. And Michael's annoying as fuck, but he's nice, he was probably just frustrated, I bet he knows what you did by now and he'd too stubborn to find you and thank you," Calum told him all of this frankly as though they were facts, everyone should be privy to."I don't know if I buy that, Crystal always tells me to befriend with you," Ashton said with a laugh and a wipe at his eyes with his hands.Calum's cheeks coloured ever-so-slightly, and he laughed along with Ashton, "I'm going to go and find the others, you should come back to hang out with us whenever you're ready okay? We'll miss you if you vanish," he patted Ashton's leg and then got up and left the way he'd come, Ashton's eyes followed him, but he didn't look back over his shoulder to throw a crooked smile or anything like that, but for some reason, he still couldn't get his heart out of his throat.Ashton was sure Calum must have said something to the others because the next day things had been back to normal. Even with his confession to the Principal things had gone back to normal incredibly fast. He wasn't going to complain though, he was just glad he hadn't really fucked up having friends so quickly.It had been a long time since he'd had anything even close to a friend, and he'd thought that he would be able to go back to being alone seamlessly and much thought. Now though when he was alone, he felt the loneliness much more pointedly, despite friendship having always been a foreign concept to him he'd apparently taken to it much faster than he'd thought.All this had played on Ashton's mind so much lately that now as they all walked through the mall, he was filled with warmth and appreciation for such a simple moment. Crystal and Michael were looking for a new video game or something, and Luke and Calum had wanted to get coffee, Ashton had fallen into neither of those categories but was just out to enjoy everyone's company.The five of them were walking as a group- well trying to walk as a group, Ashton kept breaking off because people kept calling out to him."Try our new cologne!" called a woman, and so Ashton had, had to stop and go back, letting her spritz the strong-smelling odour on his chest, before jogging to catch back up with the others."You're too nice Ash, you know you can just say 'no thank you' and keep walking right?" Luke asked chuckling as Ashton fell into step beside him."Just a bad habit I guess," he said with a shrug and rolled his eyes, he plastered on a good-natured smile, but part of him wanted to scream, 'you have no idea how much I wish I could'.They made it another 300m's or so before Ashton was stopped again, "Try our new nacho chips!" this time Ashton took the chip happily and said thank you."That one was easy to say yes to," he shrugged laughing, "free food, sorry I keep holding you up,""Eh, the others will get over it," Luke said, giving him a fond grin.Calum fell out of line with the others, "What are you two doing all the way back here?""Trying to teach Ashton to say no," Luke said, laughing and giving Ashton a playful shove on the shoulder.Ashton blushed, "I can say no," he said defensively.Luke raised an eyebrow, "alright, give me your shoes then," as soon as he said it Ashton groaned and started to hoping as he walked to get his shoes off until they were both in his hands and he was passing them to Luke.He'd been chuckling the whole time, but as soon as Ashton thrust the shoes toward him, he lost it bending over in fits of laughter, "fuck you're hilarious Ash,"Ashton joined in with the laughter, as Luke shoved his shoes back at him. Ashton threw the shoes back on the ground and stepped lazily into them, treading on the backs as he walked, "You have such a weird sense of humour, I like it," Luke told him happily, and something warmed in Ashton's chest.It wasn't very often that the curse brought him any sort of good attention, but if his friends thought the weird things, he did were just his sense of humour, then that worked for him. He blushed slightly as he realised Calum has been watching them, and Ashton threw a quick glance toward him to see the other was watching them with a fond smile. Then he turned back to Luke, who was now telling them a story about someone on the hockey team. And that's the way he spent the rest of the afternoon, listening to Calum and Luke tell stories about people he'd never heard of and pretending he couldn't feel Calum's eyes linger on him every now and then.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton was admittedly shifting into a pretty comfortable routine with Crystal and her friends. He really hadn't meant to, but it had just been so easy. Luke and he had a budding friendship that had cropped up out of nowhere, they had inside jokes and everything. He and crystal hung out at the very least twice a week on their own, which in itself was a nice routine, but then usually the boys invited them somewhere as well, which despite making Ashton's heart race like all hell, he did have fun."Okay, ready?" Luke asked an eyebrow raised at Ashton as he held out the hacky sack.He nodded very seriously, and they were off, bouncing the hacky sack between them. Ashton had improved out of sight over the last week, as the hobby had slowly become, he and Luke's thing."What's the personal best again?" Calum asked, walking up and standing, watching from the side as they batted it back and forth between them."Two hundred and three," Luke replied, not looking up from their game.Ashton tried to remain as focused, but the temptation to let his eyes flick up and see the expression on Calum's face was too much. They darted up for just a second to see the younger man's eyes trained on the small fabric ball, which Ashton realised a second too late was about to collide with his shin.Both Luke and Calum looked up, and his cheeks coloured a light pink, "whoops," he chuckled, "guess being watched makes me nervous," he said innocently."Scram Calum, we're going for a new record," Luke made a shooing motion with his hands, and Calum rolled his eyes and turned, hands raised in defence."Alright, alright, I'll go back to hanging out with lip and lock over there," he made a gesture toward Michael who was standing in between Crystal's knees and talking to her low and close.Luke sighed, "Okay you can stay here and talk to us, but you have to turn around,"Calum conceded, nodding to himself and turning, so his back was facing them. Luke threw Ashton a conspiratory wink, and he flushed again, scrambling to pick up the hacky sack off the grass.As they started up their game again, Luke and Calum chatted idly about a new album they'd both been listening too, and Ashton's mind began to wander to the fact that it seemed like Luke was privy to his little crush.He didn't think he'd say anything to Calum... well at least he hoped he wouldn't, he did worry that Luke and Crystal would start to conspire together though."Are you keeping count?" Calum asked, which drew Ashton back to their conversation."Yeah, we're at 150-151," Luke told him as he swung his foot up to knock the hacky sack back toward Ashton."Can I join?" he asked with a sigh."No!" Luke responded quickly, "this is Ashton, and I's thing,""Wow, someone doesn't want to share," Calum laughed."Yeah well," Luke faltered for a moment, "make your own friends," his voice came out whiny, and Ashton couldn't help but laugh, "so what do you reckon Ash? Friend date sometime in the next couple of weeks, you, me and the Museum of Contemporary Art?" Luke asked, as though it was something they'd ever spoken about before.Ashton's brow furrowed thoughtfully for a moment, and he couldn't help but let his head snap up to look at Luke, who gave him another wink and a smile, "Uh, yeah sounds good, just let me know when you're free," he said, his voice wavered a little, and he wanted to kick himself, but Luke grinned."Great," he went to continue, but the bell interrupted him."Looks like it's back to the coal mines for us," Calum said laughing and turning to face them.Ashton laughed along with him, catching the hacky sack with his hand and pocketing it."We'll have to get faster if we want to break our record during lunch," Ashton said with a shrug, and the others nodded their agreement.After that, they all forwarded off toward the main school building, Michael and Crystal joining them with their hands linked and grins on their faces. As they reached the building, they parted ways, some heading to the bathrooms others heading to their lockers, and maybe it was the fact that he'd had a nice lunch with Luke and Calum but instead of walking with his head down like normal Ashton was striding through the halls toward his locker. He supposed that's what most likely caught her attention."Irwin, come back here," He heard a girl's voice snap."Fuck," Ashton muttered under his breath as his body turned itself around and stopped in front of two girls in matching school uniforms and Dutch braids. He didn't recognise them and supposed they must have been in Luke's grade."You're the asshole that beat the shit out of my boyfriend," the shorter of the two said, her eyes ghosting up and down Ashton, appraising him. He imagined she was trying to figure out where he hid all the muscle and general persona of someone capable of doing what he'd done."To be fair, he started it and-"She interrupted him, "shut up", he appraisal of him continued, his compliance with her command seemed to egg her on because she took a step closer and whispered just loud enough for them both to hear. "I want you to tell everyone you started it, and that you're full of shit, okay?""I started it, and I'm full of shit," he muttered lowly."Again, louder," she said with a grin stretching across her face."I started it, and I'm full of shit," Ashton practically shouted.Both she and her friend laughed, "as soon as I got a good look at you I knew it was a fluke, and if it wasn't you wouldn't hit a girl anyway, even if you are a faggot,"Ashton swallowed thickly, feeling other eyes in the hall on his back, people were watching, waiting to see if he really was the 'psycho' the rumour mill had been telling everyone he was."You can go now," her friend chimed, giving Ashton a smile full of sickly-sweet sarcasm.He sighed and turned back in the direction he'd initially been going, and saw Michael and Crystal watching from up ahead."What the fuck was that?" she asked as he approached.He sighed and offered a humourless laugh as reassurance, "just people trying to see if I really did beat the shit out of Dylan Bogge, everyone thinks I'm some sort of 'psycho'" he used air quotes around the word, not comfortable saying it without them."Should have just told her to fuck off," Michael said lowly."Just trying to stay out of trouble, I already have more detention than I know what to do with," Ashton said with a sigh, and if he were honest, with or without the curse he probably would have just done what she'd said, he didn't need any more conflict in his life.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton had the sneaking suspicion that Luke had been playing matchmaker the past couple of weeks. He and Calum had just happened to end up sat next to one another more often than not, and semi-regularly the others would disappear, and it would be only the two of them. He supposed if he were normal, it would be sweet, and maybe he'd be flattered, excited even, but he wasn't normal, and the flip flops in his stomach weren't just butterflies, they were crashing waves of fear, reinforced by what he liked to imagine was a tiny little Kraken that lived in his belly and pulled his strings.That's always where the commands felt like they kicked in so as a little kid he'd invented the idea that a monster lived in his tummy and made him do things. He knew that wasn't true, but it was still the only image he could muster of the curse in his mind. He often imagined the little Kraken smashing boats against the walls of his stomach, or with long clean swipes straight down the middle. It was silly, but it made him a little more empathetic toward himself sometimes, it was easy to forget that it was all out of his control, that he wasn't somehow doing this to himself.Right now, though it wasn't much comfort, as the horrifying ideas of what might happen if he got too close to people played over and over in his mind. He'd never be able to forgive them if they made him do something he couldn't take back. Murder, sex, drugs, hurt someone who didn't deserve it, hurt someone he cared about, so many of the things people said in the spur of the moment, even as a joke could change the course of Ashton's life forever.Of late he'd tried to push the thoughts to the back of his mind, and just enjoy having friends, but the more the others pushed him toward Calum, the harder it became to pretend he wasn't playing with fire."Are you sure you've tried everything?" he asked, trying to keep the whine out of his voice as he handed handing his mother the bag of grated cheese.She let out a long sigh, and put the bag down, "I told you, I've tried everything under the sun to get in contact with her. I've prayed, I've googled, I've gone to mystics, you name it; I've done it. I hate having to tell you this, trust me, I do. I want to be able to tell you that it'll go away, and I can fix it, but you're practically an adult now, and you're going to want to go partying, and to university and maybe even move away. And I can't stop you, but- well I just want you to be realistic," tears were tracking down her cheeks. She was so clearly trying to hold it together, trying to blink back the next wave of tears and Ashton's heart clenched."I- I've never thought it was going to go away, I just wanted to make sure. I'm going to apply to Sydney universities anyway, don't worry about it," He sighed, moving forward to wrap his arms around her. "Don't worry mum, I'm happy to stay here with you," he pressed a kiss into the side of his mother's head and felt her shake as she sobbed into his shoulder.They stayed silent as he rubbed a reassuring hand over her back, the tears continuing to stream, but now they wet Ashton's thin t-shirt as they went. He wanted to be mad at her, to yell and scream, this wasn't fair, why him? But he knew it wasn't anybody's fault, especially hers, all she'd ever done was try and protect him.He realised as he stood patting her back and mopping her tears, that all the time he'd spent feeling alone, knowing that he couldn't share his burden with anyone. She'd probably been doing the same, wishing someone would come along with answers or even just a little understanding. All the while, she kept searching high and low for a solution for him.He could even tell she'd really thought she might be able to fix this, and his heart was aching for them both. For her naivety, and by extension the heartbreak it was causing her as she realised that there was no fixing this. And for himself, realising how jaded he was, he'd given up so long ago that he'd assumed she had too.When he'd gone to bed that night, he'd barely slept. No tossing or turning, just staring at the ceiling, a weight hanging over his shoulders, telling him that maybe- no definitely, there was definitely something broken inside him. He cried silent tears and prayed that the next day would bring some sort of miraculous distraction from the ache that was manifesting inside him, one he grew more and more afraid would never leave him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had never really occurred to Ashton to fight the curse. Not that he didn't hate having to do everything he was told, but from what he and his mother had learned from their research, any mention of fairy godmother gifts, or even magical gifts for children, they were all things like hair that never tangled, clear skin, or even just the ability to articulate oneself. Why would you want to break a gift like that? You probably wouldn't even notice how special it was unless someone pointed it out. Ultimately though, they were supposed to be gifts, not curses, you broke curses, not blessings.He tried to reason with himself, what was so wrong with doing what you were told? He did mostly anything, anyone asked anyway. He didn't want to rebel, or disobey he was content being 'good'... but he just wanted to choose to be good because he wanted to, he supposed. And maybe it had something to do with the fact that if he wasn't so obedient, he might have considered asking Calum out, but as it stood, he couldn't keep all the thoughts about what might happen if- if Calum didn't turn out to be the nice guy he seemed.He sighed deeply, tugging his locker open as the thoughts swam in circles in his head. He was so deeply engrossed in them; he nearly jumped backward when Luke's voice interrupted them."What's the big sigh for?" he asked, his head was leant against the locker next to Ashton's, and he was watching Ashton with soft eyes."Oh god- I didn't even notice you there," he shoved the last of his things into the locker and turned, "just thinking about maths homework," he lied shrugging."Ugh, I'm not looking to grade 12 math," Luke said, rolling his eyes fondly.Ashton shrugged, "It's pretty much the same, just they expect you to be faster at it, I'll tutor you next year if you need,""You get such good grades, I thought you'd be going to do Med in another state just cause you could get in anywhere," Luke said happily, "If you are still here though you will be helping with all my subjects, even the ones you don't take," he laughed."Med?" Ashton gave him an incredulous look, "I would never do med, I don't know what I'm going to do yet,"Luke rolled his eyes, "Anyway, I just came over to chat,""What about?" he asked suspiciously."Oh, nothing in particular," Ashton eyed Luke after he spoke, and the younger boy continued, "so you and Calum have been getting pretty chummy, Michael told me you too were very, very close on the beach,"It took everything in Ashton not to groan aloud, he'd spent all weekend agonising over Luke's plotting, and had thought if he just ignored it, it would go away."You and I've gotten very chummy," he said matter-of-factly, he flicked his eyes between them and noted the way Luke was leaning in close to speak to him, "and we're very, very close right now," he said in joking whisper, Luke rolled his eyes in response and Ashton hoped that meant he hadn't noticed the blush attempting to climb his neck."You know what I meant," Luke said, sliding himself, so they were shoulder to shoulder, looking out at the sea of people moving up and down the hall."Yeah, we're becoming good friends," he admitted, "and that's how it'll stay,""Oh, come on Ash give him a chance-" Luke started, turning back to properly face Ashton."Luke" he paused and thought for a moment, trying to choose his words as carefully, "you and I both know there's something strange about me, all of us do. And it's lovely that you all pretend you can't tell there's something just not quite right about me and the things I say and do. We can try and write it off as quirky or whatever you want, but at the end of the day we both know there's something else going on, and I'll tell you right now, it's best if Calum and I just leave things as they are. Things don't need to be any more complicated than they are if I could explain it any better than this I would," he shrugged, he meant it, if he could tell Luke he probably would, he trusted him, Crystal, too.He let out a sigh, seeing the confusion clear as day on Luke's face, "Can you just tell the other's I'm going to walk today, I have to go into the city for some stuff," he gave Luke a tight smile and turned leaving. He knew what he'd said had been a mistake, been far, far too much, but he couldn't handle them dangling Calum in front of him, the ideas the prospects, everything that the concept of dating Calum encapsulated was far too dangerous.He became caught up in his head again as he strode off the school grounds and toward the train station, he didn't even know where he was going, but there was anger, and that broken feeling bubbling under his skin. He thought maybe he'd end up punching a wall or breaking a window but after only a few more minutes of walking he felt the hot tears on his cheeks, and they streamed down like they had the night with his mother.He was just so tired.So, he walked, and walked, mourning the lives he could have lived. Ones where he and Calum went off to university a newly made couple or one where he didn't end up with Calum, but they all went to the same university right there in Sydney. Ones where Luke and Ashton went off backpacking around Europe or Crystal and Ashton lived in Melbourne or Brisbane after high school, doing whatever it was people did when they moved.There were a million lives he could dream of living, but he would never see a single one come to fruition, not without living in fear for his and others safety at all times. There'd already been plenty of instances where someone had said the wrong thing, in the wrong way to him as a child and he'd ended up in a difficult situation time and time again. High school had been significantly lonelier, but it had come with a level of choice, and Ashton had chosen anonymity. That was until Crystal chose him.He continued stewing and walking, walking and stewing until he finally had the thought to take a good look around and see where he was. It was somewhere he vaguely knew; he wasn't all that worried anyway. People were walking past him with cups of coffee, not really paying any attention to him, and that's when the thought struck him. As clear as the dinging of a bell. His eyes scanned across the smattering of people on his side of the street, until they landed on a short, non-threatening young woman, about 30 years old at the most. Then before he could overthink it over he was striding toward her, his shoulders slumping so he seemed less imposing."Um, excuse me ma'am, I didn't mean to bother you, but I was wondering if you could do me a sort of odd favour?" she gave him a wide-eyed looking, but then nodded as if to tell him to continue, "Could you please just tell me, commandingly, 'stop having feelings for Calum Hood'?"She looked at him unsurely for a moment longer before letting her eyes search behind them, he guessed she must have been trying to figure out if this was some sort of prank show. When she turned back to him, she still looked uncertain but spoke, "stop having feelings for Calum Hood,""Thank you so much," he said cheerily, a sense of relief washing over him.She gave him a tight-lipped smile and then moved on past him.He wouldn't know if it had worked for sure, not until he saw Calum again but the prospect of being able to take that yearning, that stupid pull in his guts away, would make having to say goodbye when they all moved away for university or got cool jobs in the city just that little bit easier.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It hadn't worked.Ashton had to admit that thinking he could make the curse work for him had been delusional at best, when did this fucking ridiculous bullshit ever work for him? Never.Things were much the same, and he guessed Luke hadn't said anything about his weird outburst, or if he had everyone had simply chosen to pretend it hadn't happened. And for the first time in quite a while, he was getting to spend some time alone with Crystal. It was nice having Luke and kind of Michael as friends too, but Crystal was the easiest to be around, she was as close to comfortable Ashton ever got around people."Sorry we had to wait so long, I had to go to my fucking detention again," he sighed, giving her an apologetic look."Do the crime, do the time," she laughed, throwing a wink at him before turning to lead them toward the boba place they frequented.They chatted and laughed as they made their way down the street, Crystal telling him about some stupid meme she'd seen online and Ashton laughing along happily, unknowingly his guard slipping little by little."Yeah I told Michael he couldn't come 'cause I was sick of paying for him," she explained as they stepped out onto the road, flicking glances up and down the street, "fuck," she exclaimed, "speaking of paying, I don't have my bag, stay right there, I'll be back!" she'd turned and started sprinting away down the street before Ashton could respond.His heart sank to his stomach. His feet wouldn't rise, planted as if like tree trunks, he tugged and tugged, but all he managed to do was make his knees ache with the upward force. The longer his feet stayed planted, the tighter his chest grew, his breath shortening, ears ringing, and his heart knocking at a rapid pace. He glanced around quickly, trying to be rational, assessing the situation he found himself standing in the middle of the left-hand lane on the road. If she'd only called out a few seconds earlier, he would be safe in the gutter. His eyes darted, searching for someone to call out to but it was well-passed pick-up time now, kids, teachers and parents were either at home or in an after school activity, and it appeared they were the only patrons in the area because it was dead. He sighed in relief, surely no foot traffic meant no car traffic, right?Wrong. The ringing in his ears had apparently been enough to distract from the sound of a small delivery truck ploughing down the lane he currently stood in the middle of. A moment of sheer terror ripped through him, and he cried out, "Crystal, fuck Crystal! Help! Someone help me!" he screamed, his vocal cords straining as tears began to wrack through his chest.A hand grabbed him by the arm and tugged him, hard into the gutter, and a few seconds later the truck passed, still at a brisk pace and honking loudly, through his blurry eyes he saw the driver give him the middle finger.'What the fuck is wrong with you?" Crystal screamed, he own voice sounding moments from tears, "Why didn't you move? Do you want to die?" she asked her tone ascending into hysterics. "Ashton. Answer me, do you want to die?"He shook his head and buried his tear-stained face in her chest, she wrapped her arms around him tightly as he took in choked breaths, still sobbing and shaking. And he could feel her teardrops hitting the top of his head.When he finally pulled back his heart was still racing, "I'm so sorry, I was distracted, and then I looked up and panicked," he lied, he was in such a state he couldn't even tell if it was a good lie or not.Crystal was silent for a long moment, "I need you, to be honest with me," she said sighing and pulling back to make eye contact with him, "Luke told me what you said the other day, do you think there's something wrong with you? Is that why you did this? Do you want to die?" She was swallowed thickly, and Ashton could tell she was afraid of the answer she was about to get, and God he respected her, he didn't know If he'd have the courage to ask the same of her should the need arise.He took in her appearance for a long moment, considering what he was going to say and what she would believe, her cheeks were stained with tears, and her school blouse was stained with his own, she looked awful and he imagined he must look similar.Ashton was emotionally exhausted, no excuse would come to mind and he just desperately wanted her to know the truth, he didn't like seeing Crystal so afraid.He sighed, and swallowed, his throat already choking up, "I literally can't tell you," he said, he thought maybe he should leave it at that, but he continued, "I want to, but that's part of this fucking thing, my mum and me, we can't tell anyone, nothing will let us. She told my mum it was a gift, a beautiful fucking gift and that she'd given her the 'perfect' child. There's nothing 'perfect' about having to do everything you're told, my whole life my mum has had to run around worrying about me, what's good about that?" the words streamed out of him, and the tears that had threatened to appear were long gone, he was angry now, broken-hearted and angry.Then it clicked, "holy fuck," his eyes widened in shock, and he looked at Crystal who's was watching him with her own eyes wide and nervous. "I've never been able to tell anyone that before, every time I try to tell someone about my f-"the words caught in his throat and he had to cough before he could continue, "every time I try and say anything about that, that happens," he tried to explain.He looked up at Crystal again, and her eyes were still wide, but her gaze was now far more considering, "So you have to do everything you're told? That's why when I told you to stay right there, you stayed right there?" She asked Ashton nodded, sensing there was more to come. "Is it bad that this actually makes a lot of sense? Like it's completely bizarre, don't get me wrong, but you're a peculiar guy Ashton. And this, well this makes a lot of that weirdness make sense if I'm honest," she explained slowly. 'And I'm the only person outside of your mum and you that knows?"He nodded again, "I don't know why it let me tell you, but I can't tell you again for some reason,""Why can't you tell anyone?""My mum said that the f- it won't let me say what she is, the person who put this on me put a s-, won't let me say that either made it so that neither of us could tell anyone, we can talk to each other about it. Mum said she said something about parents not being supposed to know about the s- fuck me it's hard to talk around this," he exclaimed.Crystal looked around and then tugged Ashton by the elbow over to bench out of the road, "then how?" she asked, throwing more nervous glances around."I don't know, a few days ago I told someone to tell me to stop having feelings for Calum, and it didn't work, maybe something has it on the fritz,"She was thoughtful for a moment, "I don't know, those two didn't work but the one that left you stranded in front of a two-tonne truck going 60 kilometres an hour did," she paused, "maybe it was the phrasing""But the not saying anything one has worked for years,""Maybe commands have an expiration date," Crystal said thoughtfully, "also we need to have a serious chat about the fact that you would rather be commanded into becoming an unfeeling void then deal with how you feel about Calum," she seemed finished but then continued, "also, also, I knew you liked Calum!"He sighed deeply, "It just fucking hurts, it's like- like an ache in my chest, there's something that feels like its missing in there and then he talks to me or smiles at me, or whatever the fuck and it's like a tidal wave of feelings. And it's just too much, I know I'd make a dumb decision with or without this thing, but with it, I don't have a choice. I-I can't give him that much power over me, it'll ruin me. Even if I tricked him into thinking I wasn't the most bizarre human being on this planet I could never trust anyone enough to let them in my life like that, not while they can literally control everything I say or do,""You know, even when you don't have something like, like this thing looming over you, caring about people is fucking scary. You think I woke up one day and decided that I wanted to trust Michael with my whole fucking heart? No, I was adamant it would go away until it didn't. You'll come back to him again and again, and then when it's not him it'll be someone else,"

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There'd been hours upon hours of debriefing with Crystal, she wanted to know everything, the ins and outs of what exactly it was that triggered his obedience and when it seemed to happen the most. Then she'd been quiet for a long time before announcing that she's figure something out and that he had back up now.And she'd been faithful to her word, three weeks earlier, Calum had been up a tree on the oval, the rest of them were standing around underneath laughing as he crunched his way from branch to branch."laugh all you want, I'm not coming down until I find this fucking ball, I have a point to prove!" he called down to them."Seriously? I'm pretty sure I saw it go over the tree anyway," Luke said, his eyes rolling before starting to make his way back to the table they'd been sitting at. Michael and Sierra followed him with varying levels of exasperation. It was just himself and Crystal standing under the tree and squinting to try and see Calum amongst the leaves."You two should just come and sit down, he's going to be up there all lunch," Michael called over to them when they still hadn't moved. And though Michael had directed it at both of them, he wasn't really talking to Ashton. He'd been doing this a lot lately, what he really wanted was for Crystal to go back over to him rather than being with Ashton.He wasn't sure if it came from plain old jealousy or if he really thought Ashton was up to no good, he guessed that if Ashton ever made a move on Calum, he'd find out."I just don't want him to hurt himself, he'll be down in a second," she called back, out of the corner of his eye he saw he make some sort of dismissive hand gesture and had to hold back a grin, he bet Michael would love that."Yeah, shut up Michael, I'm coming down, catch me, Ash!" Calum called from the tree. The usual sense of dread grabbed at his stomach, and he felt his arms come to make a cradle of sorts, and just as his front leg was about to lead him under the tree Crystal spoke just low enough for him to hear."Ashton, stop,"And that was it, he stopped. It was an immense relief and a heartbreaking moment realising she could so easily do something he'd never been able to do for himself.And it continued, half a week after that it was a friend of Michael's birthday. It was a person that Ashton had had minimal contact with, and so they didn't know just how strange he could manage to be, and he wanted to keep it that way. So, they were all gathered around the other friend groups usual table singing happy birthday above a slab of cake their friends had bought for them."Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Shane," everyone chorused as they blue out the candles, a broad grin on their face.They were all laughing and joking around, overall, everything was going well, he was even enjoying himself, and he and Sierra hung to the back of the group, as neither of them knew anyone else there very well.Then James appeared and patted Ashton on the shoulder, "grab a piece of cake," he told them both, and Sierra went to protest, but James continued, "don't be shy, stuff your face it's amazing!" and with that, he gave them a sparkling grin and turned back to the table.Ashton gave him a reluctant smile back and nodded before his body started to make its way over to the table. He praised the Lord that the cake had been cut and plated already. Destroying one piece with his face was going to be embarrassing enough without being the dick who ruined the entire cake.He must have had a mournful look on his face because before he could reach out and take a slice from the table Crystal's hand came down on his shoulder, and she said, "stop,"A week and a half after that, Ashton and Luke were laying across a couch in Luke's parents' basement. His head leant against Luke's chest but his eyes watching Calum and Crustal as they chatted on the other couch, just far enough away he couldn't make out what they were saying."Where's Sierra today? He asked sighing and letting himself settle further into the younger boy.Luke brought a hand up to start carding his fingers through Ashton's hair, "not sure, I think she's with some friends today," the shorter boy didn't respond, only humming as he enjoyed the feeling of short nails gently scratching as his scalp.He was trying not to enjoy the moment too much. Though he had to admit the intimacy was nice, the touch and comfortable familiarity of the touch was something entirely new to Ashton. He'd never had this sort of friendship with anyone, and he was starting to think if he never did again, his heart might just break.Luke interrupted his thoughts, "Calum's staring at us," he mumbled lowly, Ashton's response was only a hum again, but he did let his eyes flick back up to Calum and Crystal, where he was, in fact, watching them. "You think I should remind him I've got a girlfriend?"This time he couldn't help but chuckle, "c'mon we've been over this, nothing is going to happen there,""Hey, just because you've decided nothing's going to happen doesn't mean he's stopped looking," Luke said, laughing lowly.Ashton rolled his eyes and shifted to face Luke, "I think you're imagining things, just say you're trying to set us up, so you don't have to see me date someone else," he said cheekily.Luke hummed, "I suppose that's far more likely than you know, Calum thinking you're cute,""Maybe he's interested in you, trying to figure out if this means you like guys or not," Ashton tried instead.Luke chuckled, "You know I am bi right?""Oh fuck, I hope Sierra doesn't get the wrong idea, I swear I only want you for head scratches," he confessed."You know, I'd be offended if it wasn't so obviously true," he paused for a moment, "he's still watching us," he waited for Ashton to speak and when he didn't Luke continued, "go give him a kiss, make him feel less left out,"Ashton held back the urge to squeak aloud as his body moved himself up and off of Luke. Sure, a few weeks ago he'd been so close to leaning across and closing the distance between him and Calum, but that had been on the beach alone, and heavily influenced by weed and alcohol. He didn't want to kiss him here in front of everyone, unprovoked and possibly unwelcome.He did not want to get punched following his first kiss. Fuck, fuck, fuck.The butterflies were flip-flopping, and his heart was hammering, he tried desperately to make eye contact with Crystal as he grew closer but wasn't sure she could see the distress in his eyes.Then, praise the Lord, she spoke, "alright stop whatever you're doing, back me up here, the Riverdale writers just got lucky last season, right?"Crystal was getting progressively better with her wording, and he was so grateful.Then finally two days ago,Luke and Ashton were leant up against the lockers, chatting. They were getting progressively closer over the past few weeks; it had undoubtedly been easier knowing that Crystal had his back and would stop him from doing anything particularly ridiculous in front of his new friend."Jesus Christ, he keeps glaring at me," Luke sighed rolling his eyes. The thing with their friendship was that Luke still wouldn't give up on the Calum and Ashton idea he'd concocted, and honestly Ashton kind of liked it, it was flattering to think that maybe it came from Luke knowing Calum actually did have a thing for him. He wouldn't admit that to anyone, though."He's not glaring, you and I both know he's too nice for that,"Another eyes role from Luke, "I don't get why he and Michael won't just come over here, they've been so weird lately,"Ashton groaned, "Michael still thinks I've got a thing for Crystal, and I think Calum's just trying to keep the peace, and also we've been kind of weird lately," he admitted."Michael needs to grow up, you're so clearly interested in Calum, and also what's with this 'we' business, you've been weird," Luke gestured between them, "you're very touchy-feely, and... friendlier than usual,""I'm not normally unfriendly." Ashton said offended, "I'm just more comfortable with you now I guess," he said with a shrug."More comfortable than with Crystal?" he asked, raising his brows."Michael would cut off my hands if I tried to touch her like I touch you,""Like you touch me?" Luke let out a fake whine, "Ashton you're a naughty boy, you better not let Sierra find out," he ran his hands over his chest, eyes dropping closed as he let out more fake moans and whines."Better not let Sierra find out what?" Crystal asked, walking up, her eyes, however, were ghosting over Michael and Calum across the hall."How Ashton touches me," Luke declared, with another series of fake breathy gasps, Ashton cut him off quickly with a backhand to the stomach. He was bent over at the middle clutching his stomach, and Ashton was red from the neck up. He was avoiding eye contact with Crystal as he waited for the heat to leave his face.Crystal just rolled her eyes at the two's antics before Luke came back with another observation, "You're such a virgin Ashton, god," somehow the blush on Ashton's cheeks grew darker."Don't let this dickhead get in your head, the only thing he's ever had it on with is his hand," Crystal said, throwing Luke a dirty look causing the younger man to blush deeply.In an attempt to divert attention from himself Luke babbled, "ugh, go over there and ask Calum to get rid of it for you if we're going to get embarrassed about it,""Don't go anywhere," Crystal said softly, putting a hand on Ashton's shoulder before he could even turn away from them, "he's an idiot," she said tilting her head toward Luke and quickly making it seem like she was trying to stop Ashton from getting upset and not physically stop him."Why don't you go over there and ask Calum to get rid of your virginity?" Ashton quipped quickly, seeing the look on Luke's face that said he felt terrible for the comment.Luke smiled, and slung an arm over Ashton's shoulder, "alright, alright, I'll ask him to do us one after the other, it'll be a group bonding activity," he laughed.Both Crystal and Ashton gave him horrified looks, and Luke dissolved into giggles.

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It took longer than anticipated but Luke eventually made good on his offer to go to the Contemporary Art Museum together. It had been a long train ride into Circular Quay, but they'd chatted happily most of the way. It was the first time they'd been properly alone in- in well ever and it was going surprisingly well."You know what?" Luke asked as he looked up at the Sydney Harbour Bridge."What?" Ashton asked his voice half-amused, watching Luke watch the bridge as they walked.He sighed happily and turned back to Ashton, "We should take the ferry to Manly one day,"Ashton scoffed, "That's at least an hour and a half over there from home, that'll be a whole day trip,""Could be nice," he said with a shrug letting his hands slide into his front pockets.They continued chatting as they made their way around toward the rocks, Ashton quietly thinking to himself as they spoke, wondering why he didn't come into the CBD more often"Okay so we have to go up to this level first it's my favourite," Luke declared as they entered the sliding doors, he tugged on Ashton's wrist and led him up the flight of stairs to their left. They were only one flight up when the younger boy excitedly tugged him further into the museum toward a large clock.It looked like a very large version of a clock someone might keep on their mantlepiece or even he supposed their bedside table. It ticked loudly, proudly showing off the time on its massive face. They both stared for a long moment at it until Ashton finally turned to Luke."I- Is it supposed to have some deeper meaning? Or is it just because it's big?"He turned to face Ashton, 'If I'm being completely honest, I've got no idea. I just think it's neat," he shrugged giving Ashton a wry grin.Ashton rolled his eyes fondly and stepped up to the plaque by the clock to start to read. The clock was by Stuart Ringholt and the only thing about the clock that differed from its smaller counterparts was that it measured days in 18 hours, 45 minutes an hour.He stopped reading after that as he noticed Luke beginning to wander away in his peripheral vision. He led him through a series of artworks until they stopped in front of a large set of knitting needles and the start of a scarf? Suspended from the ceiling."This was Sierra's favourite when we came, you're allowed to touch it as long as you're careful," he told him, reaching his own hand out to run it down the side of the giant pieces of 'wool'.Ashton mirrored him, and gasped at the feeling, it was like a big noodle, "that's so fucking cool!" he exclaimed."Right? I really just love it here," he sighed happily, letting his eyes wash over the room, "I told Calum he should bring you here for your first date, but he'd convinced you're not interested," Luke continued conversationally.Ashton turned on him narrowing his eyes, "you're not slick you know?" he groaned, "the reason I seem uninterested is because I'm not interested,""Well Calum told me you nearly kissed the night on the beach," the tall boy had a smug look on his face and shrugged, turning away to pretend not to see Ashton's horrified face."I- Well, maybe we nearly did but that was a moment of weakness- Wait! Did you leave us alone on purpose?" he let out in a stream, following Luke as he continued to weave nonchalantly through the displays."Now, now Ashton, why would I do a thing like that? I mean if you're so uninterested I would have known it wouldn't have helped anyway," He stopped now, running a hand down the front of a giant crocheted thong that hung from the ceiling."Ugh, you're so frustrating sometimes I swear to god," Ashton rolled his eyes.Luke just chuckled to himself, and grabbed Ashton's hand, tugging him again off into another section."Anyway," Ashton said, once they stopped again, "So, you bring all your girlfriends here?" he asked grinning up at him.He laughed again, "something like that,""So, how long have you and Si been together?" He asked conversationally, as they continued through the museum."Must be a few months now, I've been hanging out with her friends a bit lately, they're all really nice. The one she was talking about the other day, KayKay is really fun but I get the feeling she doesn't like me very much. I think that's why she wanted you to hang out with us,""Oh! Now that you say that, I know her, she was in Crystal and I's bio class at the beginning of the semester, left for some reason but," Ashton said excitedly. "Wait, does that mean Sierra is in my grade?""Yeah actually, she said she was in your junior English class,"Ashton chuckled to himself, "you can tell I pay no attention,""Yeah you do a good job of keeping to yourself, thank god for Crystal," he laughed."Yeah, thank god for Crystal," Ashton said trying to keep the sigh from his voice. He kept letting himself be led, but his heart wasn't really in it anymore. He couldn't manage to keep the intrusive thoughts out of his head as they moved through the rest of the floor. As much fun as he was having with his new friends, he'd just moved from being dependent on his mother to being dependent on Crystal. He guessed he could only be grateful Luke hadn't accidentally made him do anything today.''You alright man? You seem like you've spaced out,""Yeah no I'm alright, just hungry, you want to go to the Macca's behind the train station?""Yeah whatever you want Ash," Luke told him, giving him a crinkly eyed smile.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"Yeah, and then this seagull just swooped down and took the cheeseburger right out of my hand! The whole thing!" Luke told them, and he and Ashton dissolved into laughter, everyone else joining."You take everyone to that museum, Luke!" Sierra laughed along with them, rolling her eyes, "you're going to have to come up with a new spot,""He's never taken me there," Michael blanched.Calum turned an accusing look on Luke, "You've never taken me either,""You're both classless, I would never take you somewhere nice like that," Luke said, turning his nose up at them both.Ashton and Crystal both broke into giggles at the offended looks on their faces."I'd have to agree," Crystal added, shrugging her shoulders at the pair opposite them, Michael gaped at her like a fish, "oh c'mon, I love your uncouthness!" she declared, pausing for a moment before continuing, "so much so I think I just remembered my parents are out late today," she waggled her eyebrows at him.That was met by a chorus of 'ew's', "I thought we were all going to GYG for burritos," Ashton said."Yeah, what the hell, you guys," Calum said, turning on them quickly."Oh shit, that was this afternoon?" Luke asked, "Si and I made plans as well,""Seriously guys?" Ashton asked exasperated, "Ugh, we'll just have to go another time then I guess,""No, no! You guys go, have fun, just because we're off doing coupley stuff doesn't mean you guys have to cancel," Luke insisted.Crystal joined in, "Yeah you guys go have fun, Calum you're the one who wanted burritos anyway," she said with a smile."Lu, what were we doing?" Sierra asked.He turned to face her, "remember, my mum wanted us to help her with redoing the garden beds?"She seemed to pause for a moment before saying, "Oh, okay,"Ashton quietly thought that Luke was full of shit, but he didn't have a polite way of getting out of being alone with Calum, so he swallowed his suspicions."Cool, so we just get abandoned every time you have something better to do?" Calum asked, voice suspicious."Obviously," Luke said in a 'duh' tone. Half an hour later Calum and Ashton were making the walk from the train station to Guzman y Gomez on their own. Their chatter came easily, talking about a local guitar shop they both thought was intimidating. He could tell Calum was miffed that everyone had bailed, because once again he brought the conversation back around, "every time I turn around, they're going off to do couple stuff, wasn't so bad when Lu was single," Ashton was sure Calum knew what the others were up to and it was almost crippling him with embarrassment.He hummed nonetheless, "Guess I didn't really hang out with you guys that much before Lu and Sierra got together, so I can't really say,"Calum thought for a long moment, "if you'd realised, he'd be taken off the market, would you have asked him out before her?"Ashton blanched and whipped his head around to refute the question, and Calum was grinning at him, "you're pulling my leg, right?"Calum nodded, "Luke is very proud that you've become such good friends though, he keeps telling Crystal he's your favourite,"He couldn't help but blush, a grin split across his face too, "to be fair, he's a very close second, don't tell him that though,"Calum raised his hands as if in defence, "You have my word; I won't feed his ego,"After that, they chatted on and off again as they sat eating their burritos and splitting churros, with a healthy serve of dulce de leche. "So how long have you and Luke been playing field hockey for?" Ashton asked, he was so nervous that he knew there had to be millions of conversation topics. Still, all he could possibly think of was this or asking Calum what he thought of Luke and Sierra getting together, and that felt too gossipy, and he was a little afraid the others would start to think he really did have a thing for Luke. Calum thought for a moment, "must be since grade 8 or 9, started 'cause our mum's thought we were spending too much time playing video games with Michael. No way Michael's mum was convincing him to join though," he laughed, obviously the thought of Michael on a hockey field was laughable. "I guess it turned out well for us though," he continued, shrugging and taking a big bite from his burrito. Ashton nodded along as though this all made so much sense to him. He'd never been allowed to play sports, his mother and he had realised at a young age that sports, whether that be team sports or individual sports with spectators, would always involve someone yelling commands at him. And the thing was most people blocked all the noise out while they were playing, and Ashton was the same, but you'd be surprised what your brain can process subconsciously. So he'd had to avoid it altogether, unfortunately. "What about you?" Calum asked, and Ashton realised he was being weird and zoning out again and flushed deeply,  "you play any sports growing up?" He shook his head, "more of a book kid," he said, "liked reading about all these amazing things I knew I could never do," he admitted, reading had been one of his favourite hobbies. Much to his mother's chagrin, he'd loved young adult novels since he could remember, reading them well below the recommended age level. He remembered her making him put the books inside Harry Potter dust covers when they went out in public, worried other parents would judge her. She never stopped him though; she knew that that was (in a lot of instances) the closest Ashton might ever come to experiencing most things. "Oh yeah," Calum grinned and chuckled, "so you're a what? Fantasy nerd? Like the idea of riding dragons and casting spells?" he asked. Ashton laughed, "something like that," he'd been banned from the real Harry Potter books when he was younger, his mother was convinced Ashton would try and find spells to reverse the curse in any book like that. It always made him laugh because he'd never even come close to having thoughts like that. He'd come to terms with the life he would lead and was more than happy to sit in the corner of his room and giggle along to the tragedy that was Bridgette Jones's Diary. Calum hummed, "maybe you'll have to recommend me a book or two one day," he said, and he had a big stupid grin on his face, obviously thinking all of Ashton's books must have been terribly embarrassing, based on the little he'd said. "I'll loan you the My Immortal Series; you'll be entirely scandalised," Ashton told him smirking.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

eight years earlier

Ashton was sitting on the third last step from the top, his shoes were already tied, and his backpack was on. Once a week, Wednesdays, his dad took him to school; it was in his favourite drop-top. The car was old an old 1990 convertible Mercedes, it wasn't worth very much, and Ashton hadn't known it, but it didn't matter, he felt special driving to school with the top down. It was also the only time he had just with his father.This morning it felt like he'd been waiting forever, and his parents had been yelling almost as long. He wouldn't say he was used to it, but it wasn't an uncommon occurrence in their house."I am sick to death of taking him to school, every time I turn up, his teacher comes out and has all of these complaints about his behaviour! Which I wouldn't mind if you'd let me do something about it, but you won't let me make him do anything. God forbid your little angel does what he's fucking told!" his father was bellowing at his mother, Ashton knew they were in the same room, there was no need for him to be so loud he could hear him a floor below.Then it was his mother's turn to start up, "Don't you dare talk about our son like that! He is downstairs waiting for you to take him to school, it is his favourite day of the week. You will not be doing this; you'll break his heart,""Well you can tell him that you're taking him because I will not be embarrassed another morning, people we know are at that school when I drop him off, they hear what his teachers say to me," his father's voice was firm, and he heard a door slam.He steadied his tears though, he knew his mother would get even more upset if he saw her crying, and he didn't want to see his mother cry again.He heard her heels on the carpet and then the stairs, and he whipped his head to see her coming down them, hand steadying herself on the railing. She smiled wide when she saw him looking, he smiled back, but he didn't miss the flush in her face and the distance in her eyes."Daddy's not feeling well love, so I'm going to take you okay?" she phrased it as a question, but it wasn't so Ashton nodded and stood up ready to follow her out the door like every morning.She ran her hand through his hair as she passed him, a fond gesture that he was quickly growing out of as he got taller and taller.He stayed quiet most of the ride to school, neither his mother nor he mentioned the yelling from his father, and he didn't know if his mother assumed he hadn't heard or if she didn't know what to say.When they finally reached the school gates, his teacher did come and speak to his mother, Ashton had heard it all because, by nature, he stuck close to his mother, it was the safest place. She always stopped him from doing embarrassing things if he were close enough. So it was there that overheard the words 'ADHD' and 'referral' and stopped paying attention, he knew his mother would politely thank them for their advice and never follow through. They both knew Ashton's problem wasn't an attention deficit, a personality disorder or autism. Those were all things they could have made little lifestyle adjustments and created good routines for him to help with, and he had no doubt he would have lived a full and happy life. All the kids he'd met over the years who had one or the other of the aforementioned we're nice, happy kids.No this was something else entirely, something profoundly evil and cruel and at nine years old he'd already known that.Then came the part of the day he hated most, his mother waved him goodbye, and he waved back, smiling, pretending he wanted to be here. Because when he didn't, his father would yell more, and she would drink more, and then there was more yelling. And it wasn't their fault he was so strange.The first part of the day was okay he supposed, it was the second week since the one friend he'd made this year had moved, and he was used to it by now. Then came lunchtime where he tried to hide behind the brick wall, well away from the handball courts. But some of the children decided that handball wasn't enough to entertain them that day, and went looking for him.Again, not uncommon. They found him eating his apple behind the wall. Kids were intuitive, was what Ashton had learnt over the years, no matter how many fresh starts he got, they always seemed to realise he was weird. Then among those that found him weird, there were still the ones who seemed to realise that he would do whatever they told him. He wasn't sure what they thought the reason was for his obedience, but he doubted they discovered he had to do whatever they told him."Ashton, if you want us to be friends with you, we need you to do something for us," the girl grinned wide and when he didn't reply she continued, "go and steal Ms Lionel's puppets,"His body stood without his permission, and he started back towards the school building. The others giggled and whispered, 'Is he really doing it? Or is he just walking away?'.His stomach was flip-flopping, he really liked Ms Lionel, she was the music teacher and always told him that she knew he was shy, and would never call on him, and draw attention to him. And he only had her once a week, so it had been hard to make a good impression, but she'd told him he had a natural talent for the drums, and that she would give him free private lessons when he was a little older if he wanted. And it was the one thing he'd begged and pleaded with his mother to let him do, and she'd agreed once he turned ten he could learn to play the drums.It wasn't hard to get into the music room, especially not when the curse gave him answers like, 'the back window is always open, climb up on the airconditioning unit and through the window'. Heaven forbid there be anything he physically couldn't do.Once he was through the window, he knew where she kept the puppets, inside an old guitar case. Their names were string and pick, and that was their home, well at least that's what the puppets told them. He picked up the guitar case and knew immediately it was the right one, the rest were far too heavy for him to pick up on his own.He took it out the front door, making sure there was no one in sight before he relocked the door and went on his way back down behind the brick wall where the others were waiting."There, the puppets are inside," he told them, "what are you going to do with them?" he asked, afraid it was something awful."Play with them duh," one of the girls said, giving him a disgusted look and the rest broke out into laughter, before taking the case from his hands and heading off on their way, laughing and talking.Ashton made his way back to his lunch box, which when he opened it he found they'd eaten the contents, and he was left with nothing but an ice brick and a banana. He sighed and slumped against the wall, he'd gotten away with it, but it was only a matter of time before Ms Lionel realised they were missing. Then the teachers would say things like, 'Tell me the truth, who was it?' and Ashton would tell them unflinchingly it was him. Or the other kids would get caught with the case and then they'd say Ashton stole them and gave them to them, no matter what it always shook out the same, with Ashton in trouble for something he'd definitely done, but had never wanted to do.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

seven years earlier

It was midnight, Ashton knew because his mother had bought him a clock that acted as a sort of night light, projecting the time onto the ceiling. He'd been watching practically all night, and when he wasn't it was because he was dozing off, then he'd wake and begin waiting again. His mother had gone to visit his grandparents; she never took Ashton because the few times he'd gone his grandparents had remarked about his odd behaviour. Now he stayed home with his father, and his mother would often come home in the wee hours of the morning after the long drive home. His father had sent him to bed straight after dinner, despite Ashton's protest that he was ten years old now and was allowed to stay up until at least ten on the weekends. But when he heard the doors of the house opening and closing, he couldn't help but bound out of bed and sneak down the stairs to try and catch his mother coming through the door. Hiding behind the couch looking out the front door, which was remarkably wide open, he first saw his father walking back in. He overlooked Ashton by the couch, passing him and making his way back up the stairs, the door remaining wide open. He came back down the stairs a moment later with a cardboard box full to the brim in his arms. Ashton's mind had started to race, why was his father packing up things for charity this late in the night? But then he went back up the stairs and came back with his golf clubs, taking them out the front of the house, and the earth-shattering realisation hit him. His father was leaving; there was no other reason he'd be taking his golf clubs out in the middle of the night. Or maybe there was?Tears started to streak down his cheeks despite the tiny bit of him that still hoped there was another answer, and he started to find it hard to breathe, he stood as his father came back in. "Are you leaving?" he choked out. His father looked up and made eye contact with him, a small look of shock on his face, and then he kept walking back up the stairs, ignoring Ashton. "Dad? Why are you ignoring me?" Ashton followed him, the tears coming in thicker waves now, "when are you coming back? Does mum know?" "I'm leaving tonight Ashton and I'm not sure when you'll see me again, okay? Your mother will find out when she comes home," he told him, there wasn't any emotion to his voice, and Ashton followed him further up the stairs, desperate to look him in the eyes. This couldn't be his father, sure he didn't like Ashton very much, but he was his father, he couldn't just leave? "Wh-Why, are you leaving?" he was still unable to speak without choking on his tears. His father sighed but didn't pause on his way to the bedroom, "It's very complicated, when you're older you might understand. It's not a decision I just made, I've thought about it for a long time," Ashton reached for his father's shirt, "please don't leave!" He wept, "I'll be better, I know it's because of me, I can- I can be better I promise," His father continued walking, the grip Ashton had on his shirt not doing much to slow him. "Dad!" he cried, "please!"His father grabbed at his wrists and tugged them until Ashton's tiny hands let go of the fabric, "If you know you're the problem, Ashton, why do you think screaming at me will help?" his words were vicious, and they stopped Ashton in his tracks, the tone reminding him of a villain from a tv show."Just tell me what to do, just say 'Ashton go and..' and whatever, and I'll do it, I promise," he told him through another mouthful of sniffles. The older man rounded on him, an exhausted look on his face,  "Ashton go to your room, and don't come out until your mother comes home," he told him and then he turned on his heel heading into the bedroom. Ashton couldn't help but mirror him, turning and walking in the opposite direction toward his own bedroom, feeling the familiar tug in his stomach until he was behind the closed door. The tears continued to cascade down his cheeks as he listened to the sounds of his father opening and closing doors. Watching the clock as he did, it was 12:45 before he heard his father close the front door, and then a car started. He'd really just left, and Ashton knew his mother wasn't home yet because he couldn't bring himself to twist the doorknob. So he waited, it was another hour before his mother would come. And when she did, she screamed. The moment he heard the door open, it was followed by the scream he'd never forget immediately after he raced down the stairs and into her arms. Ashton had to explain to her that no they hadn't been robbed, his father had taken all the missing things, as well as his car. Told her he'd said he didn't know when he'd see them again, and that he'd begged and pleaded for him to stay, and his father had sent him to his room. Ashton was curled up in her arms on the couch, and she was brushing his hair back, letting her fingernails scratch against his scalp. He was slowly starting to calm down when he felt the wetness in his hair and pulled back to see silent tears streaking down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry mummy," he told her, wrapping his arms around her and burying his head in her chest. "It's okay baby, it's got nothing do with you," she told him, choking on the words and continuing to pat his head, "it's his fault, he just didn't try hard enough to understand," They slept on the couch that night and ate ice cream for breakfast. Then his grandparents came to stay with them for a long time, and then they left, and he rarely saw them again after that. People always talked about days of your life that something happened and you never knew how much it would change everything, but Ashton had known from the moment he'd seen those golf clubs going out into the car that nothing would ever be the same again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton and Luke were leant against the lockers, waiting. "It's late this afternoon; you should come if you don't have anything better to do," "Is this the part where I pretend to consider it like I might have other plans? Because I have no plans," Ashton admitted shrugging. "So you'll come?" Luke grinned wide. Ashton rolled his eyes and nodded, "yeah, It'll be good to see you guys in action finally," Luke let a smirk find its way onto his face, "I'm sure Cal will love to know you're there watching," Ashton fixed him with his best attempt at a threatening look, and Luke immediately backtracked, "Crystal and Michael are going as well, I'm sure no one will look into it too much," "Smooth," Ashton chuckled, pushing himself off the lockers, attempting to wave down Michael and Crystal, who were approaching, "Hey, Luke convinced me to come to the game tonight. Is it okay if I third wheel with you guys?" "Oh my god! That would be great; we should go out for pizza afterwards!" Crystal said excitedly, dropping Michael's hand and closing the distance between her and Ashton to wrap him up in a tight hug."You won't be third-wheeling. Isn't Si going with you guys?" Luke asked, reaching down to scoop his hockey bag up off the floor. Michael shook his head, "Messaged Crystal earlier and said she was going with some girls from her geography class," he shrugged."As long as she comes, I suppose," Luke said, shrugging, "did you tell her we're going out afterwards?" Crystal nodded, "She said if she can't meet us wherever we're having dinner, she'll meet us at the party," Ashton turned and raised an eyebrow at Luke, and the younger man actually squirmed a little, "I was hoping it would be the end of the night, and we'd all be going, and you'd just be like 'what the hell' and just tag along," he admitted, at least having the decency to pretend to be embarrassed. "Can you blame him?" Cyrstal asked, "I can never imagine you saying yes to a party," "Well, I'm saying yes now?" it came out as a question, and he raised an eyebrow at Crystal."Fantastic! we'll pick you up just before 6?" Crystal was all giddy excitement as she turned back to Michael, who fondly rolled his eyes at her. "Anyone would think I'm a shut in the way you lot carry on," Ashton said with an exasperated expression. Luke sent a sharp jab into his ribs, "you practically are," he let out a laugh and then continued, "Okay, I'll see you all after the game tonight," he turned and left, heading toward the locker room before twisting his head around, "I expect to hear you all cheering by the way!" and then he was turned back around and on his way. "We should get going too; I want to have a shower before we leave for the game," Crystal said, the end of her sentence directed toward Michael, who nodded and then they were waving their goodbyes as well. It was once Ashton was alone in the hall the true gravity of what he'd just accepted an invitation to dawned on him. It was all well and good for normal people to go to parties, but alcohol and assholes were far more threatening to him than the rest. But he supposed he could worry about that while he got ready, and at least Crystal would be there. And there she was, at five minutes to six, she and Michael arrived in the driveway honking the horn, music blaring. Ashton's mother simply giggled and told him to let her know when he expected to be home, shooing him out the door, "you only get to be a teenager once, and you've only got a few years left, go! Enjoy them!"He thought she was being a bit short-sighted but let her kiss him on the cheek and send him on his way nonetheless. The first part of the evening went off without a hitch, the three of them eating bad stringy pizza and spilling soft drink all over the stands as Crystal pushed off the seat over and over again to scream at the players. While Ashton and Michael shared dubious looks behind her back, sure she had no idea what she was talking about. There had been plenty of muttering from the people in the stands behind, somehow though Ashton remained entirely unembarrassed. There was just something about Crystal's antics that always left him sure he couldn't care what anyone else thought. Then they met Luke and Calum down on the field. "That was a terrible first game for Ashton to see," Luke declared as he wrapped his armpit over the top of Ashton's head. The older boy sputtered, struggling to find his way out from underneath, "ugh! Get off me, you stink!" Ashton squirmed out from under his arm and pushed off Luke's chest, stumbling and bumping into Calum behind him; he knew it could only be Calum because everyone else was in front of him. He stumbled too but managed to steady them, and Ashton could feel his cheeks flaming, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Luke! This is your fault," Calum was chuckling, "it's fine, don't worry about it," as Ashton was scrambling away from him. Luke had a small smirk on his face, and Ashton could have choked him right then and there.  "Okay, well, you guys go have a shower, and we'll go pick up something to eat and meet you by the locker room in half an hour?" Michael told them, posing it as a question but already turning to head back to the car. Ashton turned to follow him but felt a hand on his elbow, "Ash, aren't you going to stay with us? I thought you'd want a break from the couple? You've been with them all afternoon," Luke was smiling at Ashton as he spoke, but he didn't buy it for a second. "You should stay Ash, Michael and I might want to take a little detour," she smiled, and Ashton was sure Luke and she were in cahoots; she turned and followed Michael after that. Ashton was left to follow Luke and Calum to the door of the locker room. He stopped at the door as the boys walked in, "you can come in; everyone else will have gone home to shower," Luke told him, keeping the door open for him to follow them in. Despite the private, pleading look he sent Luke, the younger man encouraged him to come in. Ashton sighed, following him into the tiled room, thanking God as he saw the shower cubicles had doors. "You guys aren't going to take all night in here, are you?" Ashton said, feigning indifference as he sat himself down on the bench in front of the lockers. He pulled his legs up to sit cross-legged and let his eyes wander the room, not wanting to be caught focusing on anyone in particular. Calum spoke for the first time in a while, "you don't have to look so uncomfortable," chuckling along as he riffled through his bag. "I've never been in a locker room before; I don't know the decorum," he explained. Luke came over to him, a pile of clothes and a towel in hands, "well, first off, we circle jerk, and then after that, Calum bends over, and we towel whip his arse-" "Luke! Leave him alone; you're the one that bullied him into coming in here," Calum scolded, using his towel to smack Luke in the arm. "Thank you!" Ashton said, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. The boys chuckled and made their way into their respective cubicles; it was a relief because now Ashton knew he definitely wasn't going to have to awkwardly avert his eyes if someone started undressing. Which meant his eyes could harmlessly watch the opening in the bottom of Calum's door. First came his shirt dropping onto the floor,  then came his shorts which had his briefs with them. Then the shower spray started, and he watched as Calum timidly stepped under the spray, stepping back out; it must have been too cold, then back under again. He wasn't sure how the bottom half of someone's calves could be so attractive. "Ash!" Luke called, making the other nearly jump out of his skin, "I forgot my face wash. Can you grab it out of my duffle?"uh- oh yeah, one sec," he scrambled up and toward Luke's bag, grabbing the bottle quickly and racing over to the cubicle door holding it over the top; he felt Luke's hand wrap around his wrist, "come in I have soap in my eyes," he told him, and Ashton flushed deeply. "you just left the door unlocked?" he asked incredulously, feeling the tug in his gut pull him inside. "It's just you and Cal here; he's seen me naked a hundred times," he told him, and Ashton nodded from behind the hand he had covering his eyes. Luke tugged it away from his face, and Ashton saw that he was standing with a towel wrapped around his waist, sending him a wink before tugging him closer. Ashton couldn't help but gasp, and Luke's eyes and lips squeezed close, holding back a laugh, and he pressed Ashton up against the wall dividing Calum and Luke's cubicles. There was a thud, and Ashton squealed. "Keep quiet," Luke breathed out, and Ashton giggled under his breath because that was the only option he had.He started jabbing his fingers into Ashton's sides, and more quiet giggles came out of him. "What the fuck are you two doing in there?" Calum finally asked. Luke laughed, "tickle fight," "A naked tickle fight?" he asked, disbelief in his voice, but the source had moved; it sounded like he was outside the cubicle door."Mmhmm, now I just have to get Ashton to take his clothes off," Luke said, winking at Ashton again. The door opened, and Calum sighed; if Ashton's ears didn't deceive him, it sounded relieved, or maybe it was just annoyed. "Fucking hell Luke, I thought I was going to have to tell Sierra you were cheating on her, Jesus Christ," the hope that it was relief over Ashton not having a thing for Luke vanished, as he realised that he was just glad his friend wasn't an asshole. "Oh c'mon, we aren't allowed to have a little fun at your expense?" he asked, letting Ashton go from the wall. The older man moved past Luke meekly and then Calum out into the locker room. Calum was just wearing his towel. Ashton wasn't sure how he was going to keep his eyes to himself; he started rifling through Luke's bag again. Finding a half-eaten muesli bar and starting to eat in as an excuse to divert his eyes until Calum went back into his cubicle. Luke appeared a few moments later, dressed in skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and converse. "Are you eating my muesli bar?" he asked, picking up his duffle to throw his stuff back in before sitting down beside him, leaning in close, and speaking low, "are you really eating a muesli bar, so you don't have to look directly at Calum?"Ashton blushed and avoided his eyes. "C'mon Ash, let's not play pretend; I had you pressed up against a wall in nothing, but a towel, and you were all giggles. But Calum half-naked six feet away, and you can't even look up from the floor without blushing."He blushed again and groaned, "shut up," coming out muttered. "You too really should be careful; this doesn't look very platonic," Calum told them, eyes gesturing to Luke's hand rested on Ashton's leg and the closeness of their faces. "I was just threatening Ashton for eating my muesli bar," Luke said, pulling back and standing up. Ashton swallowed thickly, so embarrassed, his eyes shifted awkwardly around the room until they landed on Calum, who was dressed in skinny jeans and a DZ Deathrays t-shirt; he looked good, really good, which just made Ashton blush more. Standing quickly, "can we just go? The others will be back soon,"Luke and Calum agreed, and they left the locker room, a weird feeling amongst them all. Crystal and Michael didn't seem to notice when they climbed in the car, and slowly the feeling dissolved, and there was an easyish banter among them again as they passed a pizza box back forth from the front seat to the back. Ashton was so caught up on the weird dynamic between the three in the back seat he managed to forget how worried he should be by the impending party. And when they arrived, they all piled out, Luke saying he was going to find Sierra, Crystal and Michael sneaking off without a word and Calum and Ashton stood on the front lawn together. "Can I stick with you?" Ashton asked, the nerves obvious in his voice. Calum nodded, "of course, first party?" Ashton nodded back but realised Calum could see him from his position up ahead, leading them through bodies, which were strewn around the two-story home. Ashton would have liked to comment on the decor or even guess who's house it was, but the party was so packed that he couldn't see the furniture for the people in front and/or on top of it.  As they slowed, Calum seemingly searching for something, Ashton spoke, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't think there was actually anything going on between Luke and me; I- He just likes to tease me; there's no way I would ever help someone cheat," he explained, and Calum paused his search and turned to him. "I know that; I didn't mean to make you think I thought that- I just get frustrated with him sometimes," he explained, and Ashton nodded, hoping he would give him some sort of explanation, but he didn't. It wasn't much longer after that that Calum finished their search; the intended had been the kitchen, apparently. Where he grabbed a bottle of whisky, it was a brand Ashton had never seen or heard of before, and that didn't quell his nerves one bit. Calum poured a small amount into two cups and handed one to Ashton, "It'll settle your nerves," he promised. Ashton took the cup and waited until Calum encouraged him, downing it in one gulp and coughing and choking on the burning sensation in his throat, thanking God he'd managed to keep the damn thing down. Calum was laughing when he focused his attention back on him, and he wiggled the bottle back and forth, his way of asking if Ashton wanted another. The older man shook his head, "If I do two shots, you'll be dragging my corpse out of here," he explained.He nodded in understanding before taking the second shot; he'd poured himself, "I'll make us some drinks, won't make yours too strong though," he promised. True to his word, he made Ashton a drink he could stomach, and they began off on their way around the party, both sipping at their drinks and laughing at the antics of others they passed. They didn't see anyone else from their group of friends as they made their rounds; Calum joked that Michael and Crystal would probably be upstairs in one of the bedrooms. And that Luke would be off somewhere mooning over Sierra and pretending to laugh at her friends jokes. It was when they were two drinks (not including their shots) in, and Ashton was feeling loose and brave that he redirected the conversation back to Luke, "so, am I allowed to ask what you mean by getting frustrated with Luke?" Calum sighed, but he laughed, the younger man seemingly feeling the effects of the alcohol as well. "He just flirts with everyone, and it's whatever, It's good-natured, but sometimes he just directs it at the wrong people," he tried to explain. "The wrong people? What do you mean? Do you think I'm going to fall in love with him from some silly flirting?" Ashton couldn't help but laugh, despite the sting in his chest. Calum's cheeks flushed dark; was it the alcohol or embarrassment? Ashton was too tipsy to decipher it, "No, not that- he just doesn't take into account other people's feelings sometimes," Calum explained, and there was a moment of direct eye contact between them. It felt as though Calum's eyes were peeling back the layers of his mind, and he could see the glaring red sign that resided there saying, 'are you talking about me? Do you not want him flirting with me?'. "Well, he's certainly not capable of hurting my feelings," Ashton said slowly, feeling brave and maintaining eye contact, "surely his flirting with me couldn't hurt your feelings?" his tone was full of intent and insinuation, and this managed to make Calum blush again. "Maybe it could," he said finally, shrugging his shoulders, their eyes held for a moment longer. Then the younger man was hurriedly reaching a hand down and taking Ashton's wrist, leading them back into the swell of people, back to a conversation riddled with other people, no place for innuendo or dangerous assumptions. Despite the quick change of demeanour, Ashton remained just a little impressed with himself all night nonetheless.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The party the weekend before had put Ashton in a terribly good mood; despite all its awkwardness at the time, it was exhilarating knowing that maybe, just maybe, he and Calum could work. There was also the bonus that nothing had gone wrong at the party, and his mother had been all 'i told you so's' when he'd come home in the wee hours of the morning. All of these happy thoughts were buzzing around in Ashton's head as he made his way from one class to the next. He was thinking about maybe asking the others if they wanted to go for smoothies after school. And wondering if perhaps sometime in the next week he would get to be alone with Calum, in an organic way, that might lead to him being able to ask a couple more questions, maybe secure a date. He couldn't believe he'd been so caught up in the impossibility of it all when really, there were ways he could protect himself, and Calum was nice; that's why he liked him, wasn't it?"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were avoiding me fuckface," called a voice across the hall, and Ashton's head spun as if he were being called by name. It was the asshole that had been the cause of that fight so many weeks ago. He couldn't help but roll his eyes; he wasn't in the mood for a beating today.The look on the taller boy's face was a sneer, as his eyes looked Ashton up and down, his expression unchanged and unimpressed. His blood was boiling, he had been having such a good day, and now someone had to come along and try and start something with him. On day's when Ashton was more level-headed, he would have turned tail and ran, but not today; he had the full force of hope behind him. If only he'd learnt from his last bout of overconfidence, maybe he could have held his tongue, "you'd be right then, you fucking dickhead," he told him, a bite in his voice he'd never heard from himself before. He shook his head back and forth, a  sarcastic smile on his lips, "you don't know when to pull your head in; you know last time was a fluke," And he couldn't stop himself, "If that's what you've got to tell yourself," "Oh, fucking kill yourself you faggot,"Ashton's stomach dropped, that was it, his mother's biggest fear brought to life. His body turned walking himself back the way he'd come, he heard a call of 'yeah that's right, get out of here' from behind him, but he couldn't focus the blood was rushing to his head, his ears and eyes felt like they were blurring and tingling. He couldn't feel his legs as they moved underneath him without permission; he could sense himself moving closer to his target despite barely being able to see through his blurred vision. Each step lessened the burning feeling in his stomach; the tug he usually felt was amplified a million times, his brain supplied his destination for him, the roof. He felt even sicker. Because he hadn't told him how to kill himself, the curse, ever helpful, had supplied the closest and fastest method. And just because he couldn't control his body didn't mean he couldn't sense where it was taking him; he was still part of it after all. His heart was beating like a drum in his chest, and he felt an immense weight in his stomach, Ashton knew that he was going to die today. The only solace he could take in his impending death was that people had heard what the cruel boy in the hallway had said and that he would be blamed for his death.It was taking Ashton a lot longer to get to the roof then he'd thought his body was tormenting him with the knowledge that once he stopped walking it would all be over. The steps dragged on; he was both thankful and thankless that he had been subjected to the long way to the roof. Ashton began to shake as he came to a door; again, he didn't need to be told. He could just tell that it was the only thing standing between him and the roof. His knees knocked as he walked, and sobs wracked through him; even with the curse pushing him on, his body was still responding to the immense amount of adrenaline coursing through him; it was overwhelming. His vision blurry, both from the hot tears, punctuated by sobs that wracked through his body like dry heaves, and the ringing sensation in his ears, he could still tell when he opened the door where he was. The wind whipped his school shirt, trying to tug it, take it off into the breeze and away from this moment and how Ashton wished the wind were strong enough to take them both. He was standing on the highest floor of his school. The thing he worried about most was that the building was high, but not sky scaper high; what if- if well he didn't die straight away, would- would the curse make him keep going until someone found him and physically stopped him? The tears came faster and more freely as he sobbed, hoping dearly his mother and Crystal would know the truth, see that he hadn't done this because he'd hated his life. Hoped that they wouldn't think there was more they could have done or more they should have said. Ashton didn't want to die.Maybe six months ago he wouldn't have cared, he would have thought it was an easy escape because he'd never been able to do it himself. Now though, he had these amazing friends, he had Crystal who was always on his side, still fighting for him. Luke who just wanted to care about him and who would be devastated to think Ashton hadn't come to him in his hour of need. Michael who he knew despite his suspicions didn't mind Ashton all that much and Calum. Fuck. He'd wanted so badly to beat this, to fall in love with that goofy, overly friendly boy who always seemed to know what to say. Ashton's heart was aching in his chest, mourning a life, a thousand lives that he might have lived, and the tears weren't individual tears anymore they were streams that never finished because Ashton didn't want die.His knees buckled from underneath him and he fell.His heart was in his stomach for the two milliseconds before his knees hit the concrete, and they hurt but not like a three-story drop. The burning in his stomach left, but the adrenaline still coursed through his veins. Every breath felt laboured, and his tears came still, choking on his breath as he tried to steady them. Until finally, he became able to breath deeper, inhaling through his nose and out through his mouth. Vision clearing and he saw where he was, two feet from the edge of the roof. His knees were skinned and starting to weep a small amount of blood, and he was sure there would be bruises; he'd hit the concrete hard, and as the adrenaline left his body, the pain started to appear. Leaving Ashton to grapple with the fact he'd survived.

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He wasn't sure how long he waited on the roof, the tears still pattering down in small collections each time the realisation hit him. Then he would think he was OK, ready to try and stand, and another wave of emotion would hit him. He could feel his back pocket buzzing over and over again, and that's what finally brought him into the present. He took a deep breath and answered the call."Hi," it came out as an exhale, he had intended to seem less deflated, but his exhaustion got the better of him. The panic in Crystal's voice was apparent as she responded instantaneously, "Ashton, don't kill yourself!" it was a declaration, and he felt a tug in his stomach, but it ended there; he supposed it was already working? "did it work?" she asked just as quickly as the command had come. "it's okay; I'd already stopped. How'd you know?" he asked, a disassociative feeling hanging around the edges of his mind, ready to take him the moment his mind wandered.A relieved sigh came from the other end of the phone, "Angela from Bio told me that some guy told you to go kill yourself, and you just walked off. I knew it had to be the curse making you, so I just panicked. I didn't know where to look for you. Who ended up stopping you?" "No one," he paused, already exhausted, "I-I was crying, and I thought this was it and then, well I just collapsed, and I could move on my own again,"There was a long pause as Crystal seemed to grapple with the concept, "You mean- you stopped yourself? How did you manage that?" "It seems that way; I don't know how but there was no one else there, so it had to be me, didn't it?" "Where are you? I'll come find you," "I'm on the roof," "Oh god," she choked out a sob, "it was going to make you jump, wasn't it?" the hurt in her voice confirmed everything he'd worried about as he climbed the stairs; Crystal would have had a hard time dealing with his death, and a sadness came over him again as he realised that in making friends he had also made a group of people that would have to deal with the consequences of the curse should a day like today come and the outcome be dire. He went to speak but the words caught in his throat. She didn't talk either, but he could hear her breathing; she was still on the other end. They stayed silent like that, just listening to one another breath as they wrestled with what exactly they were supposed to say at a moment like this.  Then finally, he heard the roof door open, and the call ended, his head snapped up to see her coming out onto the roof, and as soon as they made eye contact, she quickly closed the distance between them.  Dropping to her knees and engulfing him in a tight hug, slowly, he let his arms come up to circle her shoulders. It was precisely what he needed to keep him in that moment, while his head buzzed with what this all meant and how he was supposed to go on, knowing this might happen again. After a long time of just holding one another, she pulled back, "so why do you think you stopped? Do you think maybe it won't let you hurt yourself?" she asked, letting her hand slide up and down his arm in as comforting a manner as she could. "It's made me hurt myself enough times for me to know that wasn't it, and even then, it wouldn't have worked at all. I would never have gotten this far. Maybe- maybe it just overwhelmed my body, the adrenaline was too much?" he ventured. "Or..." Crystal trailed off for a moment, "Maybe it was that you didn't really want to do it; I mean, if you think about it, the only times it hasn't worked, you've been really worked up. Like when you told me; you thought you were going to die and you just had a moment of complete clarity, it came out reflexively?" she finished her sentence with an inflection like it was a question she was posing to him. "But what about the Calum thing? I wasn't overwhelmed at all; I wanted it to work," "Consciously, you wanted it to work, but subconsciously you knew exactly what you wanted," She was smirking as she spoke, sure she'd worked it out. He sighed, "but even then, I can't control it. I have to be so over-emotional to stop anything from happening; I can't live in that constant state of overwhelming distress,""Maybe it's going to take some time, but this is more than you've ever known about this curse in seventeen years. Once you move away for uni, you'll get more opportunities to push the limits of this," Ashton cut her off, "There's no moving away, Crystal, if, if I go to university, it'll be here and I'll live with my mother, I can't leave, something like this will happen again, and I might not break it in time." she went to speak again. He cut her off, "all this has managed to do is make me more determined that I can't have any of the things I want. I'll just go back to what I was doing before and leave everything the way it was," "Ash," she said, her voice full of sadness, "that's no way to live," she told him, taking his hands in hers. "And living like this is the better alternative? I've nearly died twice in the last few months."

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The events of the week before still weighed on him; he was honestly feeling more hopeless than he had last year. More certain than ever that he was never going to fully understand nor break the curse. So he'd been moping around, answering questions in the most half-hearted of ways, and Luke had accused him of not listening more than once this week. And he could feel the others' eyes on him; he was sure Crystal hadn't said anything, well, maybe nothing specific but the way they watched him, like a china cabinet teetering on a cliff, meant they knew something was up. He supposed he should have been in a better mood. He'd triumphed over the curse, avoided deaths icy grip, but all he could think about was what might come next. What would be the next hurdle or hoop he had to jump through and whether he could land on the other side unscathed? He didn't like his odds. So when he found Calum waiting outside his last class with a broad grin across his face, he was surprised. He'd been bringing the groups mood down all week, and he didn't expect someone to appear grin on their face willing to spend time with him, but there Calum was. He'd somehow managed to ditch his uniform already; Ashton had noticed he was good at that, always turning up in jeans and t-shirt minutes after the bell had rung as if his uniform would give him a rash outside school hours."Thought we could head to Marrickville; I wanna go to a new record store you in?" He asked as soon as Ashton was within earshot."I still have detention," Ashton said quickly, part of him not wanting to be alone with Calum, and the leftover piece from after the party, before the incident on the roof, wanted desperately to have a shot with him."I'll wait,"Ashton rolled his eyes, waiting half an hour? It seemed unlikely to him, but true to his word Calum was waiting outside when he returned. He was on the floor, legs extended out in front of him and his back to the wall, looking at something on his phone. He wasn't paying attention, so when Ashton approached, he gently kicked the younger boys shoe's sole. Calum looked up, seeming a touch confused, but recognition registered on his face when he saw Ashton and quickly climbed up off the floor, "You don't mind taking the train, do you? Do you have your Opal card?""Nah," Ashton smiled, shaking his head, "I like the train, got my card here," he patted the side of his bag as he spoke, and Calum gave him a grin.  He led them quickly through the school and out the gate, passing Luke and Sierra, who were 'studying' on one of the picnic tables at the front of the school. 'Studying' because Luke was laying with his head in Sierra's lap while their textbooks sat open on the table beside them. Luke looked up as they passed and gave him a wink when Calum wasn't looking. Calum talked about the store they were heading to as he continued leading them toward the train station, and when they got to the platform, it was to see that the train would be arriving any moment."Sorry, that's why I was hurrying; after this one, the service changes to the express and we won't be able to get off at the station I want," he explained, finally seeming to relax. When they climbed on the train ago, their only option was to stand near the door and hold onto the poles with a few other kids from their school. Different uniforms littered the seats with a few business professionals and casual people strewn between, but a full train wasn't that unusual for 3:45 on a weekday.They didn't speak most of the train ride; there were only a few stops between their school and Marrickville; when they were coming up on the second last stop, Ashton had his phone out texting his mother when the train came into the station. He thought, having been a city kid his whole life, he'd know by now how to navigate remaining upright on a train. Unfortunately, not- he toppled right into Calum, who caught him under his armpits at crotch level, causing the older boy to blush profoundly and scramble up, mumbling his apologies."You're always so apologetic; you'd think being as clumsy as you are, you'd be beyond it now," he rolled his eyes, and Ashton couldn't help but blush again, but a laugh bubbled out of him as he steadied himself on the nearby handrail. Calum smiled wide as soon as the laugh left Ashton,  "good to see there's still a person in there; you've been off lately, not really here," Ashton couldn't think of anything to say in the way of an explanation, "just been busy," he said, shrugging and feeling the need to recede into himself.  The silence returned; then they got off and walked a few blocks through,  calves burning, neither wanting to admit the hills were killing them. Finally, Calum stopped in front of a dingy hole in the wall kind of a place, located between a bar and a warehouse looking building. "See why I had to bring you? It's intimidating as fuck," he asked, laughing."Oh, I see how it is; you don't care if something happens to me," Ashton said cheekily, rolling his eyes.Calum shook his head, took Ashton by the wrist, and led him down the stairs and through the musty looking door. Ashton's heart was in his throat; what would he be like if Calum had taken his hand? The feeling left him quickly, being replaced by pleasant surprise as he looked over the store, it was a complete parallel to its exterior, clean carpet floors, neatly organised CDs and records in their perspective categories and showcases with music memorable like Beatles bobbleheads and a guitar pick that had a piece of tape beside it that said 'Sting, 1984' and nothing else. The walls held a collection of new and old show posters and a few traffic signs; somehow, even with all of the clutter on the walls, it still managed to look clean and well kept."This way, I think you'll like this section," Calum said, guiding Ashton with the hand that was still wrapped around his wrist. They stopped a few rows from the back wall, and he shifted, so they were facing the row on the opposite side. Ashton quickly realised they'd reached their destination, 'Modern Australian Rock' and beside it 'Alternative Rock'. He turned back to Calum and raised an eyebrow, "it's good," he reassured. Calum picked up one of the already opened records of 'More Scared of You Than You Are of Me', and he beckoned Ashton to follow him; he walked to the left-hand side of the store where the players and headphones sat waiting before he pulled the record out and sat it on the turntable. Ashton moved closer, and Calum flipped the headphones so one of the ear cups was turned out and placed it on Ashton's head before pressing his own ear to the one he'd flipped. Ashton's stomach was doing some sort of horrible shuffle, worse than butterflies. He could feel the heat radiating off the other boy; they were that close, their shoulders were touching, and if someone had removed the headphones, they'd have fallen into one another. Calum pressed a button, and the needle came down automatically and started the track. Ashton listened intently, wanting to be able to say something interesting when the headphones came off, but he could feel the other boy watching him with anticipation, and it took everything in him not to let a soft blush coat his cheeks.A few songs played through before Calum was content, pulling the headphones out from between them and looking at Ashton expectantly."They're cool, the lead singer has an interesting voice, like he almost shouldn't be a singer, but it works. And their songs are so sad, but they don't make you feel sad, which is an interesting quality for a group to have," Ashton said honestly."They're called The Smith Street Band, they're from Melbourne, so they do shows up here all the time, you should listen to some more of their stuff, and if you like it, we could go to one of their gigs," Calum rambled happily."Yeah, I'll listen to them some more when I get home," he paused, "I can't help but notice that you seem to know your way around this place pretty well,""Ugh yeah," Calum blushed, "I come here a fair bit; I just really wanted to bring you here," Ashton's heart swelled. "I thought you could use a bit of chill time; Crystal told us you were having some issues with your dad, don't be mad at her though we were all just worried," his heart sank; Calum hadn't invited him cause he wanted to spend time with him, he'd asked him because he felt bad for him."Uh, yeah, sorry about my mood lately, It'll be all good soon, don't worry," he replied quietly, trying to put on a reassuring smile as he self consciously pushed his hair behind his ear. "Don't apologise for being sad; you're allowed to be sad," he paused, thinking carefully before he spoke again, "you know you aren't allowed to bring any other guys here, right? This is just our place now," he had a smirk on his face. Ashton wasn't sure if he was joking, and he kind of didn't care; he'd tell himself Calum meant it, and that was enough.

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He'd steadily managed to get things back to normal when he was around everyone else; alone, however, he tended to slip into increasingly frequent bouts of self-pity. That's why despite having handed in his own essay already, he was sitting with Sierra and Crystal in the library, helping them with theirs. Crystal went to speak, "no talking until you have at least 300 words," Ashton interrupted, sipping bored from the popper in his hand. She rolled her eyes at him but silently went back to typing on her laptop anyway. They stayed like that for another fifteen minutes or so until she turned to him, grin on her face, "I'm at three-fifty. So what I was going to say was, Michael and I were planning on going ice skating tonight if you guys wanted to come,""Oh my god, that sounds so fun! I haven't been ice-skating in forever; I'll text Luke; he and I will totally come," Sierra told them excitedly. Crystal then turned her gaze on Ashton; he made a sarcastic apologetic face, "rats! Sierra stole my date; it looks like I'll have to stay home," he said, shrugging. "Oh, I can find you a date easy enough," she said, that terrible glint both she and Luke got in their eyes appeared. "No!" Ashton said quickly, "I will come as long as you don't make Calum my date; in fact, don't even invite him, then and only then will I come," he said firmly. "Jeez, did you and Calum have a falling out?" Sierra laughed uncomfortably. Crystal shot Ashton a look and then laughed, "no, Ashton just gets embarrassed when Luke and I meddle, we can be a bit obvious," she said, smiling warmly at Sierra, "anyway better get back to these essays, never be able to skate if we don't make a decent start," she said and turned back to her computer.  Sierra seemed content in her explanation and went back to her own work as well. Ashton pulled his own laptop toward him, deciding that there were worse distractions than starting his flashcard research. When they parted ways an hour later, it was under the agreement they'd meet at the rink in a couple of hours, and everyone would make their own way there, Crystal explaining her mum was using the car tonight. When he got home, he immediately asked his mum to give him a ride and started trying on clothes, dressing incredibly quickly. Then he sat on the couch for half an hour, dressed with a coat he'd had to fish out of the winter storage laying on the couch beside him. "Well, someone's excited," his mother said happily; she had a pile of unfolded linen in her arms that she sat in one of the armchairs, and Ashton reached across, grabbing a towel to fold up. "What, I'm not allowed to be excited to see my friends?" he asked, knowing he sounded like a moody teenager. She chuckled to herself, "I never said there was anything wrong with it, you know I love you spending time with Crystal, she's such a sweet girl, and a good influence on you gets you out of the house," she told him, as she too joined in the folding up. "You go out too much; you don't go out enough," he said, doing a poor imitation of her voice. "Oh," she rolled her eyes, "you can pretend to be moody and miserable all you want; I know you love it," "Can we just leave?" he whined, standing and abandoning his folded towel on the couch. His mother rolled her eyes again but stood collecting her keys from by the front door and ushering him out to the car. She continued teasing him the entire way to the ice rink and pressed a kiss into the side of his head as he darted out the passenger side door. He was five or so minutes early, but everyone else was already there. Then he finally awkwardly clambered out onto the rink, his hands tightly on the railing. He only looked up from his keen focus on the handrail when he heard someone skidding to a halt beside him, Luke, effortlessly sliding in to stop half a foot from him. "Do you want a hand?" he asked, and Ashton gave him a begrudging nod, "Alright, take my hands, you know the basics, don't you?" he nodded again, "okay, we'll just practice until you get used to being on the ice again," he told him. Slowly Luke skated backwards, holding Ashton's hands, and the older man managed to make his awkward dinosaur steps, helping to keep them in motion. "Won't Sierra be disappointed you're not with her?" Ashton asked, focusing on Luke's face to stop himself from looking at his feet. Luke chuckled, "I thought it was only fair that I came over to warn you that Crystal invited Calum, and I thought if I stepped in, you might not be encouraged to be in this position with him," he explained.Ashton sighed, "that was my one condition of coming, that she didn't invite him," he rolled his eyes, "typical Crystal," "Yeah, well, normally I'd be right alongside her meddling but, she told me that, and I felt bad, so I'm here to help," he gave Ashton a small smile as ways of an apology. "It's not that I don't want to see him or that I don't like him. It's just that-""You have other stuff going on," "Exactly! And Crystal knows that!" he said, letting go of one of Luke's hands to gesture wildly, which was a mistake because he lost his balance, and Luke tried to help him and joined him in his fall. "Fuck," Luke said as his arse hit the ice. Ashton groaned as he shifted, trying to lift his foot to untangle his and Luke's legs, but it was an immense effort with the heavy skate attached. They both shifted their attention up as they noticed the shadows that had appeared and saw that the rest of the group was circled around them. "What happened?" Sierra asked. Ashton shifted and groaned again, "we were having a conversation, and I gestured too vigorously and lost my balance, taking my teacher down with me," he explained. The others laughed, and Luke finally stood, and once he was stable, he tugged Ashton up as well. "Why are you teaching Ashton to skate, Luke? That's Calum's job when he finally gets here," Crystal scolded. "I wasn't teaching him to skate; he's just a little rusty," "Hence why I wasn't wild about you inviting Calum, this is fall one of one hundred this evening," Ashton said, shooting a glare her way. Michael laughed, "I told you to stop scheming," he said, turning to face Crystal as well, who rolled her eyes, "We all know there's only one solution here," his tone was sarcastically solemn, "You have to get better, really quickly," he shuffled forward on his skates taking Ashton by the shoulders, "be better and fast," he told him. Ashton felt the tug in his stomach again and wanted to sigh. This could only lead to more questions. Everyone fanned back out, and Luke and Ashton were left alone. Luke seemed to be watching and waiting, and Ashton was pretending to catch his breath, sure that as soon as he tried to skate again, he'd have some explaining to do. "I'm just going to go sit down for a minute; I think I skinned one of my knees," he explained weakly.Luke raised an eyebrow, "okay, do you need a hand getting back to the edge?" "No, I'll be fine; you go spend time with your girlfriend; I'm sure she'd probably cursing my name by now," Ashton laughed easily.Luke laughed along too, "Okay, come find me if you need me," he told him, then he was turning his back and skating away.Ashton took a timid glance around the rink, hoping no one was watching as he tried to skate as poorly as he could to the rinks exit. However, he couldn't help but effortlessly skate to the edge, feeling as though it was as easy as walking, easier even.After that, he planted his arse firmly on one of the benches and just watched as the two couples skated in amongst everyone else on the rink. Michael was the worst of the four but still much more capable than Ashton had been. Sierra was probably the next worse, but part of him wondered if it was a little bit put on to get some more attention from Luke, and he giggled. Crystal and Luke were pretty evenly matched, but Luke was just a smidge better, seemingly having his turns down to an art, where Crystal needed to slow down a bit more to manage them. It was fun watching them weave in and out of other people; sometimes, they paired up, skating next to one another or holding hands and then they'd part again to practice a trick or take a break. "You look like you're enjoying yourself, thought you'd be out on the rink, though," came Calum's voice from beside him; when he looked, he saw the younger boy in Jeans and a denim jacket with a pair of skates in his hands. He gave him his best attempt at a warm smile, "I fell hard on my arse earlier," he told him solemnly. "Ahhh," he said, nodding, "not so good on the ice then?" "I just needed to get warmed up a bit," he defended, "but now I'm sore,"Calum laughed good-naturedly, "Well, are you ready to go back out? Or do you wanna sit here a bit longer?" "I'm fine, you go out there and have a nice time,""I didn't ask if you'd mind if I left you; I asked what you wanted to do," Calum told him, a smug look on his face. Ashton rolled his eyes, "I'm going to stay here," "Okay, well, I'll stay here too," Ashton raised an eyebrow at him, "Crystal would be devastated if I went out there without you," he said, grinning. "Oh, so you've caught onto that?" he asked, blushing. He laughed, "she's not exactly subtle, is she," "Well, I'll tell her I sent you away if you want, then you can skate to your heart's content," he promised smiling, a little forlorn that Calum was only spending time with him because fo Crystal's meddling. He laughed and subtly shifted closer to Ashton, "we won't tell Crystal or Luke for that matter, but I might actually enjoy spending time with you,""Oh, we definitely can't tell them that because between that and them knowing I enjoy spending time with you, we'll never hear the end of it," Ashton laughed, his cheeks colouring just the slightest at the omission. "How could you slip up like that? They must give you hell," Calum laughed. "I know, I know, because of that, I bet if we look up right now, at least one of them is watching us," Ashton said conspiratorily; he really didn't know where the conversation was going, but the playful teasing and small omissions had him giddy. "Okay, on the count of three, we just casually look up like I'm pointing something out to you," Ashton nodded in response, "one, two, three," he said and then pointed to the opposite side of the rink. Out of his peripheral, Ashton could see, both Luke and Crystal stopped in one of the corners of the rink. They were observing Calum and Ashton and chatting between themselves."I wonder what they're saying," Calum mused. "Probably exactly that," Ashton laughed. "I wish we could spend more time together without them monitoring us," Calum admitted quietly, shifting his attention away from the other side of the rink and back to Ashton. Who could only respond with a stupid, "oh?"Calum laughed, "oh," he shifted uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head, "have I been reading the past few months completely wrong or?""No!" Ashton said quickly, "I-I guess I just didn't know- I think I thought the others were just teasing me," he admitted, flushing. "So, do you think we could hang out without the meddlers?" Calum asked. Ashton desperately wanted just to say yes, but the rational part of him faltered, "I-well, I have a lot going on at the moment-," "it's fine; maybe we can just hang out as friends for a while? If that's okay with you?" Calum said, and he didn't seem to have to think about it for a moment, a smile on his face. "That'd be nice too," he said, smiling in spite of himself. Surely spending a little more time with Calum, even if nothing could come of it wouldn't hurt.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"Ashton Irwin!" his mother's voice called as soon as he stepped through the front door, "Your room is an absolute pigsty! Go up there and clean it top to bloody bottom," she hadn't even finished her sentence, and Ashton felt the tug in his stomach. He dropped the bag in his hand and started on up the stairs toward his room, stopping along the way to get the vacuum cleaner from the hall cupboard. It was once he was in his room, frustrated tears beading in the corner of his eyes, that he heard footsteps thundering up the stairs. "Ashton," his mother called, "Stop!" she flung the door open to Ashton standing on his bed, vacuuming the ceiling. He dropped the vacuum cleaner, and it bounced off the bed and clattered onto the floor. He knew he should say something, acknowledge her, but he was entirely drained; the moment he'd felt the tug in his stomach, he'd given up for the day. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and didn't let himself look up to meet her gaze; he knew if she saw him crying, she'd be even more upset. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, I really didn't mean to; I was just tired and frustrated," she explained, her voice coming out desperate. "It's okay, mum; I forgive you, it's not your fault; people say stuff like that to me all the time," he sighed, still not bringing his head up. "Oh darling!" she cried, "I didn't know you were still having trouble with commands at school; you hadn't mentioned it in so long,"Ashton wanted to scream; of course, he was still having trouble. Sometimes he wondered how his mother managed to be so naive at her age. She joined him on the bed, rubbing gentle circles in his back, but he still couldn't manage to lift his eyes from the floor. He was tired. Days like these reminded him that even the people closest to him couldn't possibly understand. Despite that, he knew he couldn't hold it against them, especially not his mum. She pressed a kiss into his hair, and the part of him that was mad at her dissolved, replaced by the part of him who's heart broke for her. "I'm going to go downstairs and make something for lunch; I'll bring it up in a little bit," she told him, running a hand through his hair as she got up and headed for the door; he finally looked up and saw her wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand.He knew that all she'd ever wanted was for Ashton to have a normal life. She'd been so afraid the godmother would return and give a 'gift' to all her children, so she never had any more, because what if there was something worse than obedience? She'd never have been able to live with herself.Ashton sighed and picked up the vacuum cleaner, returning it to the hall cupboard where he'd found it, and started tidying his room. It took him about an hour to finish, folding some clothes and dumping the others in the laundry basket. Knick knacks back in place and fresh linen on his bed. His mum came up after that with a bowl of pasta and a glass of juice, she placed it on his desk, and Ashton couldn't help but turn and wrap his arms around her."I'm sorry," he mumbled into her shirt. She laughed, "what are you sorry for, baby?""I just am," he said, unable to articulate any of the thoughts he was having. "Okay, well, you enjoy your pasta; I'm going to do some paperwork," she said, patting him on his head, and Ashton begrudgingly let her go. He slowly worked on his pasta, and the pit in his stomach remained. It wasn't her fault; that's the sort of thing parents said to their children, but Ashton wasn't like normal children. And yeah, she knew he would do exactly what he was told, but that didn't mean she wasn't allowed to make mistakes.She'd never remarried, never had more kids, all because Ashton was cursed. Ashton was the one who should feel guilty and god he did; she could have had an entirely different life without him being so odd. Maybe she'd have stayed with his dad, and Ashton would have had brothers and sisters. Or maybe they'd have split up anyway, but she'd have met someone new, and he'd have half-siblings or step-siblings he actually spoke to. His mother really seemed to believe that one day Ashton would break the curse and have a happy, normal life.He wondered whether that was entirely for his benefit or if a little part of her was just so ready not to be responsible for him anymore, and get a new life, just like his dad had done.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ashton was lying across the couch in Luke's basement, well, his parent's basement, taking up the entire thing. He'd decided when he'd laid down that he didn't give a fuck if the others had nowhere to sit, he was far too comfortable. He dropped another Cheeto into his mouth from above, and then he turned to check the room and saw no complaints from the others. Michael and Crystal were curled up on the recliner to the left of his couch; she was giggling as he squeezed her face in one of his hands. Luke was on the floor, a rug underneath him and Sierra, and an array of pillows spread around them. He watched as Sierra started to drop Cheetos into Luke's mouth, giggling to herself as Luke missed some of them, and they rolled into his eyes, which he squinted shut."Press play Sierra, you're closest," Crystal said through a mouthful of her own hair; Sierra groaned but got up and pressed play on the DVD player. Apparently, the remote was around here somewhere, but no one had been able to find it as of yet. "Wait, are you sure we don't want to wait for Calum?""Fuck Calum," Michael announced; Sierra took that to mean she was allowed to press play and climbed back to her spot on the rug next to Luke."Ashton's trying," Crystal added, and everyone started laughing, and Ashton let out a loud groan.Luke tilted his head back to face the older boy, a massive grin spreading across his face; he knew Luke was going to have something to say, but before he could get a snide comment in, they heard, "What are you pricks all laughing at down here?" He hadn't even made it down the stairs yet, and he could hear them all cackling."They're bullying me, Cal," Ashton announced, throwing a glare at Crystal.She grinned, squinting at him, "Oh, you love it,"Calum rolled his eyes at the pair, moving straight across the room, stepping over Luke and Sierra and toward Ashton's couch. He picked up Ashton's legs and sat down in their place, letting them rest on his lap. Ashton waited for his warm hands to leave the cool exposed skin of his ankles, but they didn't. He was tempted to say something, 'Cal, I don't think this really goes with our hanging out as friends thing,' but he was honestly enjoying it too much to want to put an end to it. The movie played all the way through, and the hand didn't leave; his thumb would intermittently move slowly in circles. It must have been the comforting intimacy he'd read about. He also had no idea what movie they'd watched, and yet he felt a sense of disappointment when the credits rolled, everyone including Calum, got up and moved about, taking a bathroom break, stretching and whatnot. Ashton wasn't even managing to pay attention to the jibes the others were throwing at one another as they came and went from the room. His mind was occupied with other thoughts, such as, friends don't do that? Do they? The two friends he had didn't really do that sort of thing with him, not without a joke or a comment to punctuate it, then again he was very new to friends; maybe some friends did."Okay, so now it's time for Grease two, I know it's awful, but we have to watch it, It just makes the first one seem even better," There were groans from all parts of the room, and Crystal attempted to send an icy glare around the room to sway them. It failed everyone continuing to list off the worst parts of the film and cackle along."I think the worst part by far is that they moved from cars to motorbikes like it's so tacky and obvious what the point was," Ashton said with an eye roll; he flopped back down on his couch as he said it. "I assume the fact that you sat back down means you hate it, but you'll sit through it?" Crystal asked. "Well, it's either that or go home, and you're my ride, so I doubt that's an option," She grinned at him and raced over to the DVD player, putting in the next disk. As she did so, Michael took his place back on the recliner, and Luke and Sierra shared a look between themselves and the floor. "Hope you guys don't mind, but we gotta move up onto the couch; my tailbone is killing me," Luke told them, rubbing a hand up and down his spine to emphasis the point. Then he took Calum's previous spot, and Sierra joined him, curling into his side. Ashton's stomach was not okay with this development; it was far too excited. There was a chance, a slim chance, that Calum was going to curl up on the couch with him. What was he supposed to do while they were there? Was he supposed to touch his dick? Surely not...He stood awkwardly, certain there wasn't enough room on the couch for them all, and not sure if he wanted to be curled up with Calum after all, he could sit on the floor?He felt himself be pulled down onto the couch; actually, he was half on the couch and a half on a warm chest, his nerves peaking."Don't be stupid; we wouldn't leave you to sit on the floor on your own," Calum told him, chuckling.  He could feel the rumble of laughter against his back and then the deep breaths of his relaxed breathing. Not to mention the hot exhale of breath right next to his ear and the arm that was resting not quite on his thigh, but right next to it, it was all too much. He didn't know what to do with his hands; he snuck a peek, seeing Calum's eyes on the screen and his other hand-stretched over the back of the couch. Luke was almost his mirror; the arm of his that wasn't wrapped around Sierra was stretched along the back of the couch as well. They would have been able to monkey grip with their ridiculously big hands if they stretched a little farther.  Ashton shook the thought and turned his head back to face the television, not wanting to be caught staring. He decided crossing his arms would look less weird than having them sitting uncomfortably on his lap. He realised then that he looked grumpy, so he let himself sit back against the other's chest, actively letting his shoulders relax, and he felt Calum's hand move up from next to his thigh to his crossed arms, and he started to tug gently on the right one."I know you might not want to watch the movie, but don't look so grumpy, looks like I'm holding you against your will," the younger boy chuckled lowly, and it was right next to his ear, and he could feel the movement of his chest again, and Ashton thought he might swoon. Then once he'd gotten Ashton's hand free, he placed his own over the top, threading his fingers between Ashton's in a backward handhold, their hands resting against Calum's thigh. Ashton's heart could not handle this; where the fuck was this coming from. They stayed like that, Calum not letting go of his hand and Ashton actively trying not to lose his cool. At one point, he caught Crystal's eye, she gave their hands a look, and an eyebrow raise, but Ashton ignored her; he couldn't process anything at the moment, little alone manage a non-verbal comeback.Again Ashton couldn't pay any attention to the movie; whenever one of the other boys made a sarcastic remark about the plot or the acting, he could feel Calum's breath and the laughter that rumbled in his chest, but he was never paying enough attention to laugh along too. By the end of the movie, he was actually comfortably leaning against the dark-haired boy, not feeling like he had to hold his weight back."Hey Ash, are you awake? I gotta piss, sorry," Calum said, gently shaking the boy on top of him.Ashton blushed and stood up, letting the other boy up, "sorry,"Everyone's eyes followed Calum up the stairs, and even when he'd disappeared from sight, they waited a few more moments before turning to look at Ashton, as if they'd were all of one mind, "So things went well at the ice rink the other day then?" Luke said with a smirk."Actually, things went in kind of a platonic direction," he admitted blushing, "I am very confused where this has come from,""Guess he finally realised you weren't going to make a move," Michael said with a shrug. But Ashton was still confused.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

He was standing in the hall outside the back stairwell, and he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there; he looked down at his hands and saw a coffee tray and a brown paper bag. Where was he going with all this? Where had he been? The last thing he remembered was going to bed.. the night before? He couldn't be sure. He kept walking down the hall toward his locker; the hallway was empty; maybe class was in? Or maybe it was after class? He still wasn't sure. He put the food away in his locker and pulled out his phone. He was right. It had only been a day, and it was a few minutes until lunch. Where had the rest of the day gone? Had he slept walked through the day? No way, right? Despite knowing the time, he was still entirely disorientated; all that time couldn't possibly have just passed. The bell rang, and he stayed rooted to the spot, watching as people walked by. He was still standing there when Crystal approached him, a confused look on her face, "where were you? You said to meet you outside my class," "Did I?" he thought for a long moment, trying to remember ever telling her that. Still, he was drawing blank after blank, "I can't remember anything after going to bed last night, and the only reason I know it was only last night is because I checked the date on my phone," he admitted. "Wait, are you fucking with me?" she asked, her face screwed up in confusion. He shook his head quickly, pulling his locker open, "I went to bed last night and then the next thing I know, I'm standing with these in my hands outside the door to the back staircase," he explained. Crystal reached into his locker, opening the little brown bag, "well this is what I asked you to get me, and I suppose that would be the way you would have snuck back onto campus," she thought for a long moment, "I picked you up for school this morning? I made Michael walk, and you and I were talking about Calum?" she posed it all as a question. Still, all Ashton could do was shake his head, none of it rang a bell. "You told me you'd agreed to just be friends, and you wanted to know if I could figure out why he'd decided against that. Is any of this ringing a bell?" she asked, her voice still full of disbelief. "No, I know I wanted to tell you that and ask you that, but I don't remember ever saying it to you," he told her. "You don't think," she paused, chewing her lip as she thought, "that someone told you to forget?" Ashton's eyes widened, "fuck," "What would someone have told you to forget?""What if I just walked off and left the person? What if they said it as a joke? Fuck, I hope I didn't run into anyone I know," "I say we investigate; I'm curious, what if it's something really serious?" she said excitedly, tugging Ashton by the wrist toward the back stairwell. Ashton hurriedly closed his locker as she continued pulling him down the hall. They were practically jogging down the hall, and they didn't stop until they were in front of the door to the stairwell. "I'm not going in there," Ashton declared. Crystal rolled her eyes, "what, are you scared?" she asked. "Uh, yeah, what if someone died? What if I saw someone get murdered and they threatened me," he said, unable to keep the fear out of his voice. "Oh, Ashton, be realistic; it's probably nothing," she stepped closer to the door and leaned her ear just a few inches away from it. Her eyes widened, and her hand went for the handle pressing it down. Ashton's heart was hammering in his chest, and he took a few steps away from the door, not wanting to be seen by whoever was on the otherside. "What the fuck? Did Ashton tell you we were in here," came a male voice from the other side of the door, and Ashton's eyes widened, fuck. "No," Crystal said firmly, "I've been looking for him since the start of lunch; I'm assuming you've seen him?" she asked, and Ashton could just imagine her eyebrow was raised at them. Someone sighed, "He was here a little while ago; we told him to fuck off and not to tell anyone, that goes for you too," Crystal laughed, "you can't threaten me," she told them, "and you know if you don't want to get caught, I wouldn't use the only decent way to sneak off campus as your hookup spot, try the bleachers at the back of the oval," One of them scoffed, "So fucking smart aren't you," "Smart enough not to get caught and to realise that two of your teammates are out of the closet and no one has a problem with them," "Can you just fuck off?" Crystal hummed and pulled the door closed, a smirk on her face, she walked straight past Ashton, and he had to jog to catch up with her. "So?" he asked. "Alex Jefferson and Dylan Bui were hooking up in the stairwell," she laughed, "you must have run into them on your way back from the cafe, and they told you to forget you saw them, I guess they can't be blamed for realising you'd take it so literally," "Oh my fucking god," Ashton brought a hand up to rub at his eyes, "my life is the punch line of a bad joke, I swear to god," "At least it's interesting, I guess," she said with a shrug. Ashton couldn't help but disagree as they silently made their way back to their lockers, the sinking feeling in his chest was returning. The one that reminded him time and time again why it was that he couldn't let this Calum thing go any further. Which was disappointing because in all the excitement of Calum finally making a move, he'd almost been able to forget that he wasn't normal.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Calum wanted to hang out. Just as friends, he'd assured Ashton, and he didn't want to seem full of himself, but recent events told him that just wasn't going to happen. And unfortunately, Ashton didn't really have the luxury to indulge Calum, as much as it might be easy to fall into, touching and giggling, secret sharing and hand-holding. At the end of the day, if he actually asked Ashton out, he knew he'd have to say no, which was cruel, right? He was leading him on. Well... he wasn't leading him on, he guessed, he did like Calum, like a lot. But he supposed from everyone else's perspective that's what it would look like, and probably what it would feel like from Calum's end too. So he was hiding; he'd told Crystal he had to borrow a book for an essay and disappeared into the boy's bathroom for the entire lunch. Things had seemed to work in his favour until he was washing his hands, ready to leave the bathroom and head toward his locker as the end of lunch neared. Then the door had opened. "Hey! I was just in the library looking for you," Calum said happily. Ashton swallowed, "really? I just came in here to freshen up a bit, splash some cold water on my face," he said. Calum moved closer, right into Ashton's personal space, and he took the tips of Ashton's finger in his own hand, "Lucky then, I came to see if you wanted to head into the record store again this Friday," The feel of Calum's hand on his own had his repressed little heart beating a mile a minute in his chest. He opened his mouth and then closed it, shifting his eyes from Calum's to the hand and then back up again, "I thought we decided we were just going to leave things the way they were," his eyes gestured to their hands. "You and Luke hold hands all the time; it's no different than that, is it?" he asked innocently. And Ashton had a distinct feeling there was nothing innocent about the question; he was backed into a corner; it was either play along or admit that meant more because it was more, "I guess you're right," he said, blushing. Calum held his gaze for a moment, a small smile on his face, "I've gotta pee; I'll catch up with you at the lockers?" he asked. "Uh, yeah, sounds good," Ashton flushed again and let his hand slip-free, moving past Calum and out the door; he picked up the pace once he was in the hall racing to his locker, knowing the others would be waiting there. Luke gave him a big stupid smile, and Ashton gave him a reserved smile back as he quickly put his things away in his locker. He felt Luke wrap his arms around his waist and rest his chin on his shoulder. He awkwardly brushed the younger man off, "sorry, I- just I don't want to set a precedent for people to touch me whenever they want; it's nothing personal," the frown on Luke's face disagreed, but he nodded. Michael and Crystal seemed to share a look, "everything alright, Ash? Did Calum find you?" she asked quietly. "Ah yeah, he did, and that reminds me, can one of you remind me in front of Calum that we made plans for Friday?" He asked, looking around, and the clearly concerned faces in front of him staring back at him assured him the pleading look on his face was far too desperate. "Ash, what's up, man?" Luke asked, moving closer again. He sighed, "Calum and I decided that we would be just friends-"And you're upset about that?" Michael asked; Crystal and Luke both shot him looks. "No," he shook his head quickly, "we decided that and now he's pushing it, and I don't know, there was a reason I said that and I need him to stop," Ashton didn't realise until that moment, but he was starting to shake, and his throat felt tight as he swallowed. "Why are you pretending like you don't like him all of a sudden?" Michael asked; his tone was annoyed. Ashton tried to even out his voice, "I don't, and I don't need you guys all hating me when I tell him I don't, there's no point leading him on," he said as firmly as he could manage, "I just think it's best if we don't let it get any worse," he let out a shaky breath as he spoke. He knew he needed to get away from them quickly; a panic attack was only a minute or two away. "Well, it's a bit late for that," Michael started, "you made him like you and now-" "Michael," Luke said, his tone warning, and Michael stopped rolling his eyes, then Luke slung an arm around Ashton's shoulder and was leading him off. He might have complained or kicked up some sort of stink, but he was still shaking like before, and his breathing was growing more and more laboured. "It's okay," Luke's voice told him, running a reassuring hand up and down his arm, "deep breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth," he told him quietly. Ashton did as he was told, "where are we going?" he asked, not recognising where they were."Back oval, no one will bother us there," he said. "Are you really going to ditch to help me fight a panic attack I'm having about not wanting to date your best friend," Luke chuckled, "I'm ditching class to help my friend deal with his very overwhelming feelings about my other friend. I don't think people get this worked up over trying not to date people; not dating people is pretty easy; I've done it most of my life now,"Ashton chuckled, but it was laboured due to the tightness that remained in his chest, "I'm pretty transparent, aren't I?" he asked. The younger man hummed, patting Ashton's arm as they walked, "I'd say it's one of my favourite things about you," he admitted, pausing for a long moment, "so do you want to tell me what's changed your mind about Calum?" Ashton was glad that they reached the edge of the oval; it gave him a moment to think about what he would say as he sat himself down on the grass. They were laying side by side when he decided what it was he was going to say, "nothing's changed, I just guess I never thought Calum would be interested in me, so I never took it seriously, and now I'm not ready," he said, deciding that it was pretty much the truth of the matter. Luke made a noise of understanding, and then he dropped a handful of grass on Ashton's face. The older boy sputtered, "do you mind?" Luke started giggling, "not really," he dropped more grass; on Ashton's stomach this time. "So why don't you think you're ready?" He sighed, "I'm terrified and-, and I don't trust him," it was a painful admission to make, and Ashton's cheeks were flaming red. Again what he'd said was true, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. Ashton didn't trust anyone, not really; he just didn't have the luxury of trust. "Do you trust him as much as me?" Luke asked quietly. Ashton turned his head, so he was facing him, and he nodded, "And who do you trust more than me?" "Maybe Crystal," he admitted. "So maybe it's not that he's untrustworthy; you just need to be more trusting," Luke told him simply, throwing a glance and small smile his way before looking back up at the tree above them. Ashton sighed, "easier said than done, I suppose," "I know, but you can't go through life not trusting anyone, pretty isolating," he said simply. "That's true," he admitted and rolled himself on his side, wrapping his arm around Luke's middle and pulling himself in close, "thank you for getting me out of there, I would have embarrassed myself if I'd stayed," Luke rubbed his back comfortingly, "it's okay," he paused, "are you going to give Calum a chance now? Or still sure you wanna break his heart and crush his soul?" he laughed."That's the point of ending it before it starts, to avoid all that," his chin was resting on Luke's chest as he spoke. "Awh Ash, it's already started; you're going to hurt his feelings no matter when you reject him, so you gotta make your decision soon."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Crystal, Calum and Ashton were standing at the front door waving her parents goodbye with the sweetest smiles on their faces. They were going away for the weekend, and they'd told Crystal she could stay home by herself as long as she had some responsible friends over. Calum got the tick of approval because he was a family friend, and Ashton, well, even Crystal's parents, could tell he was a square. As soon as they were out of sight, though, Crystal called out to the others, "you can come out now!" and Sierra, Luke and Michael appeared from behind the house. Sierra held a half-full bottle of vodka, and Luke had a carton of beer on his shoulder. "Alright, we have to start with some shots; I don't make the rules; I just enforce them," Crystal told them, a grin on her face. The others all rolled their eyes at her but seemed happy enough to get in on the shots; Ashton, on the other hand, was a little apprehensive. Sipping a beer over an hour made him drunk enough, and the one shot he had taken had led him to get very forward with Calum. Despite that, he followed the others into the kitchen. Luke put the carton of beer down on the counter and tore into it, starting to pack the fridge with beer, as Crystal and Sierra started to measure out shots for everyone in mismatched glasses from her parent's cabinet. When they passed the shots around to everyone, Ashton gave his a troubled look before craning his neck to see into the glasses around him. His looked much bigger than everyone else's. "Cal, can we swap? Mine is way bigger than yours; I can't handle this," he said, eyes still fixed on the cup in his hand. Calum turned to answer, but Crystal interrupted, "No, no, don't try that, that's your shot, and you will take it; I need you nice and loose before we play spin the bottle," Crystal said, placing a hand on Calum's cup and pressing it back toward his chest. Calum gave him a pitying look, then swallowed his shot quickly so he could follow Sierra and Luke, who were heading for the living room. Crystal raised an eyebrow at Ashton and gestured her eyes between him and the glass in his hand. He begrudgingly swallowed it down, gagging unattractively. Crystal seemed satisfied and waved him to follow her, "c'mon,"And he'd started to follow her but somewhere between then and going to the bathroom he'd noticed how quickly the alcohol had gone straight to his head. His complete lack of experience with alcohol didn't seem to occur to the others as he stood there thinking far too much about his legs and the fact that they just didn't feel quite as stable as they had half an hour earlier. And he was standing there a little confused about where he was supposed to go when a large hand made contact with the small of his back and led him the rest of the way through the hall and into the lounge room where the others were already sat on the floor in an unfinished circle. "Crystal sent me looking for you," Calum's voice said lowly into his ear, "feeling a bit tipsy already?" he asked. And Ashton tried to pry his mind away from the feeling of hot breath on his neck to respond, managing a nod. Calum seemed satisfied, leading them the rest of the way to the circle. There was an empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle, and Ashton watched it confused as he clambered down to sit on Crystal's right side. Then Calum sat on his right, who was on Michael's left, who was on Luke's left, who was on Sierra's left, who was on Crystal's left. He was thinking about the word 'left' when Michael spoke. "Okay, everyone's played before. We're all good to go?" he asked, giving the group a quick glance before recentering the bottle. "Uh, I-" Ashton began. "Of course, Ashton doesn't know how to play," Michael groaned, "you spin the bottle, whoever you land on you have to kiss if you don't kiss, you have to tell an embarrassing story," he said quickly,  "oh, and you only get one embarrassing story,"Ashton just nodded, taking a sip from the beer bottle Crystal was pushing into his hand. He knew he didn't need more alcohol, but he was already more than a bit worried about this game. He'd never kissed anyone before. He didn't want to admit that, though, Michael already seemed annoyed enough at him for not knowing the rules. And he supposed it mustn't be too bad, everyone else in the circle was in a relationship, and they were still up to snog other people; it had to be alright, didn't it? Maybe he'd understand when he'd had his first. So he sat quietly praying to dear god that he wouldn't have to go first, and as Michael spun the bottle, his heart was in his throat, and then it landed on Sierra, and he let out a quiet sigh of relief. The results of the spin caused Luke to roll his eyes, but he nodded, encouraging them nonetheless; the two leaned across the circle to make their lips meet; Luke and Crystal counted to five before they separated."Alright, Luke's turn," Crystal cheered excitedly, seemingly entirely unphased about watching her boyfriend kiss someone else. He went back to eyeing the circle nervously as if there were a rule he didn't know about that was about to be dropped on him. The rest were casually sipping their beers, and he guessed a little more liquid courage couldn't hurt the experience. Luke spun the bottle, and the same nervousness rose in him again; his eyes were fixed on the bottle, turning round and round until finally, it stopped right where he feared it most, on himself. Ashton looked up, and Luke gave him a wink, but he could see Crystal and Michael sharing a smirk while they thought he wasn't watching."C'mon, lay one on me, I know you wanna," Luke chuckled, swigging his beer quickly and then putting it to the side. Ashton felt the usual tug in his stomach to do as he was told and nervously sat up on his knees and crawled toward the centre of the circle where Luke met him. He shyly looked up, meeting the taller boy's eyes. Luke gave him a warm grin. He let it fall, though and gave Ashton a smaller, much more private smile, and Ashton could tell Luke knew (maybe no to what extent) that this was a terrifying moment for him. Luke placed his hand gently on the side of Ashton's face, his fingers only just making their way into his hair. Ashton's breath caught in his throat, Luke leant the rest of the way in, letting his lips gently brush against Ashton's at first, but as soon as Ashton pressed into him, a little, Luke took that as a sign to move his lips against the other boys. Ashton responded with his best guess of how kissing was supposed to go. Then Luke was licking into his mouth, and Ashton just let him because, why not? And then he was using his tongue in unison with Luke's until finally, he realised wow, he needed to stop. He pulled back, and Michael and Crystal were whooping."That was kind of hot," Sierra said lowly.Crystal was starting to say something in agreement when Luke pulled Ashton in again and whispered in his ear, "That was pretty good for a first kiss," before he placed a sloppy kiss on the shorter boy's cheek.Entirely red-faced, Ashton took his place in the circle, and Calum shifted uncomfortably next to him, he turned to look at the tan boy, but his eyes were fixed on Michael across the circle, who wasn't paying him any attention. So, Ashton looked back to the circle where Sierra was spinning the bottle, the previous kiss only having slightly quelled Ashton's nerves. He let out a grateful sigh when the bottle landed on Crystal; they shared what was honestly a pretty performative kiss for Michael and Luke, while Ashton and Calum tried to not look without looking like they weren't looking. "Don't think I didn't hear that sigh, Ashton, I'm offended," Sierra chuckled as she took her place back between Luke and Crystal."Nothing personal, just ideally don't want to end up kissing all of you," Ashton said with a chuckle and a blush.Everyone rolled their eyes, and the game kept on; Michael and Crystal made out until they were yelled at to stop. Then it was Ashton's turn; there was something less nerve-wracking about knowing you had to kiss someone no matter what. The bottle finally stopped on Crystal, his stomach sunk, Michael was going to kill him."Oh, go on, Ashton, kiss her, it's fine," Michael cheered; Ashton felt the tug forward, which made him realise that there wasn't really any way for Crystal to stop the commands without it seeming weird.  He wasn't too worried about kissing all these people; he was glad his first kiss had been with Luke, though; he didn't know how but his intuition had been right again; maybe that was Luke's gift? Crystal started off gentle, soft lips pressed against his own, seemingly timid and innocent until she stuck her tongue out and started to lick across his cheek, and Ashton dissolved into giggles. Everyone joined in as Ashton tried to push her off, but she was determined, not stopping until she accidentally kneed Ashton in the balls. He let his eyes coast over Calum as he made his way back to his seat, and he was smiling it, but it was reserved. It made Ashton wonder whether he would be jealous if- well, more like when Calum had to kiss someone else. He guessed he'd have to get used to it if he really was going to end, whatever this was with Calum for good. Which he supposed he was going to have to learn quickly, as Calum took the bottle in hand and that heart in his throat feeling resurfaced. The bottle landed on Luke, and the pair leaned across the circle and kissed; it was a much... kissier kiss than Crystal, and his own and Ashton felt something stir between his legs."Hot, right?" Crystal whispered in his ear; Ashton couldn't come up with anything to say, so he just gave a nod, not letting his eyes leave the two in the centre of the circle.Ashton watched Calum take his seat back beside him with focused eyes; he could hear the sniggers from the group, even Sierra, who he'd thought would be better than the others. Then it was Michael's turn again, he had to kiss Calum, which did not inspire the same enthusiasm in Ashton, and then Luke had to kiss Crystal. Sierra had to kiss Michael; Crystal got Calum. Naturally, she told an embarrassing story about vomiting in a subway, and then it was Ashton's turn again, and he got Michael, which was honestly probably his worst-case scenario. "Just kiss him; I need wet dream material," Crystal giggled, swigging from her beer.The same tug as always pulled him across the circle, and Michael confidently grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him straight up to his lips. He, just like Crystal, couldn't stay serious for long, though and moved his lips up, mouthing stupidly at his nose and across his cheeks, giggling, and Ashton started laughing too "stop it, Michael," laughing as he pushed Michael off of him. Crystal sighed, "That was not satisfying enough; I liked Luke and Ashton's kiss more! Even Calum and Luke's was better; seriously, you just didn't bring it, babe."Calum spun and got Luke again, which Ashton's virgin self-found just as arousing the second time around. Then before Michael took his turn, he announced that this was going to be the last round. He got Luke; Luke got Sierra, Sierra got Ashton, where she only gave him a little peck on the lips, and Luke complained it wasn't a real kiss. Finally, Crystal got Luke, and it was Ashton's turn again. His final turn and his gut twisted. It was like he'd known what was coming. The bottle landed on Calum. Which he supposed he should want? But he didn't; he didn't want it like this, with eyes on them gauging their reactions. It was what everyone else wanted; he'd figured that out somewhere in the second round. Based on everyone's reactions, he could tell the game was to try and get reactions out of him and Calum at watching the other kiss someone else, and best-case scenario, they had to kiss. Obviously, Calum had told them that in all the close proximity the group had forced on them, leaving them alone- well, more like forcing them to be alone they'd never managed first base. "Kiss him," Crystal said, the excitement clear in her voice; Ashton's heart nearly broke. She knew he'd have to do exactly what he was told, and he wanted to ask her why she didn't think he'd earned the choice? "No," Ashton said, and the feeling in his stomach was gone, "I'll tell the embarrassing story," there was a hush around the room, not like when Crystal had told her story. The quiet wasn't for better listening but from shock. They listened uncomfortably as he told them, "when I was nine, a kid told me to steal puppets from our teacher's room, and I'd almost gotten away with it, but when I got caught, I had to act out an apology with the puppets, and it was fucking awful. Obviously, stuff that's happened this year was way more embarrassing, but you already know those stories," he said, laughing good-naturedly. "You were a weird kid Ash," Luke chuckled, "alright Cal, your turn, then we can put on a movie or something," as everyone's attention turned to the other boy, Luke gave him a small reassuring smile then diverted his own eyes in Calum's direction. Calum took the bottle and spun it one last time; the tension in the room was higher than it had been all evening. Or maybe it just felt that way to Ashton. But everyone knew that if Calum's bottle landed on Ashton, the entire moment before would have been for nothing. And Ashton was wondering would be able to just say no again? How the fuck had he managed that? He hadn't been on the brink of death or overwhelmed with emotion. He'd just been so sure, and it had come out like it was nothing. What the fuck did that mean. Without meaning to everyone leaned in close as the bottle slowed, waiting with bated breath to see who it would land on. When the bottle stopped, everyone sort of paused for a moment, not sure what to do. It had started to lose momentum at Crystal and slowed even more in front of Ashton but had landed on Calum. "Seriously? Spin again," Sierra declared quickly, breaking the informal silence they'd created. So, Calum did as he was told, and the tension mounted all over again, the bottle landing this time on Sierra, who smiled and gave Calum a quick peck on the lips. And that was it the game was over. "Alright... Movie time now!" Michael declared, and everyone awkwardly got up and dispersed.Crystal was coming toward him, eyebrows raised, "did that really just happen? How upset were you about kissing him that that worked?" she said, her tone low. Still, her centre of gravity was off-kilter, and her shoulder bumped into him hard, and then they were giggling, fuck, how was it you got drunker when you stood up?"I literally didn't even have to think about it, I knew I didn't want to kiss him in front of all of you, and then I just said no," he said, and as he finished the sentence, he realised they were very close, both leaning one another for support. His eyes wandered as Crystal started to talk, and he followed Calum with them, watching as he slid the backdoor open and walked just out of sight, "I gotta go," he told her quickly, not bothering saying more as he followed Calum out the door. As soon as he stepped outside, he noticed the rain; when had that started? And he looked around, hoping Calum hadn't walked out in it. He wasn't, he was sitting on the top of an air conditioner unit that was screwed to the cement verandah, and he looked up at the sound of Ashton approaching.  "wasn't sure if you'd care if I left,"Ashton rolled his eyes, "don't be so dramatic, out here in the rain brooding," Ashton chuckled, moving so he was standing in front of Calum, little bits of rain being swept in under the awning and speckling his back, cold and fresh. They felt good, everything felt good actually, and he wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol or the giddy high from being able to be disobedient. "I'm not in the rain," Calum said simply, gesturing to the awning they were under, "and- I'm not being dramatic, I thought we had something, I thought after the ice rink you wouldn't hold me at arm's length. Then tonight you kissed everyone but me, how am I supposed to feel?" he asked sighing. "I do- I mean we have something, it's just, that well when I kissed Luke that was my first kiss, ever and, well it was in front of everyone, and that's fine, I'm glad, but I wanted our first kiss to just be us," he told him honestly because that was how he'd always imagined. Maybe not on an air conditioner unit in Crystal's backyard. More like the night on the beach when they'd been high and talking shit, and Calum had turned to face him, and Ashton had called him cute. That's when he'd imagined their first kiss. Calum was taken aback by the admission, "oh, oh Luke? Did he know?" "Yeah, I don't know how he just knew," Ashton chuckled. "You could have said no," Calum said, and there wasn't a bit in his tone, but there was something under it all, and Ashton wanted to smile, but he didn't. He just shook his head and laughed more to himself that Calum,  "I didn't want to say no; he's one of my best friends I don't think I'll regret it," he shrugged before continuing, "I also have a bit of practice now if you wanted to try that private, just the two of us first kiss I wanted," There was silence, and Ashton was avoiding the brown-skinned boy's eyes because he knew he sounded like an idiot, but then he heard a chuckle rumble through the other boy, "yeah, yeah, okay, you weirdo,"Calum's fingers circled around his wrist, pulling him to stand in between his legs, the other hand coming up to cup the side of Ashton's face, guiding his head down as Calum leant up. And he gave Ashton this warm, sparkly-eyed smile, eyes crinkled and genuine looking before he let their lips meet. At first, Ashton was smiling into the kiss, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering up a storm, and then the younger man slipped his tongue into his mouth. Ashton let out an embarrassingly little moan as Calum started to massage his tongue against his, and then Calum was pulling back, and Ashton was trying to follow him, wanting to reattach their lips just a moment longer. Calum chuckled, "don't worry," he said quietly, "if I have it my way, that's the first of many," and Ashton's eyes flicked open, and the smirk he'd heard in his voice was all over his face.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

three years later"This is homophobic," Ashton declared, pointing at the empty pizza box in the middle of the floor. "Oh, go fuck yourself," Luke laughed in response from his spot on the couch.Even after all this time, Ashton still flinched as the words had stung him. It was rare anyone noticed, and sometimes he didn't even feel it himself, but it was always there. The same way people who were in car accidents break when someone else is driving, a reminder. But the words didn't do anything anymore, and Ashton would take flinches and a little bit of anxiety over the curse any day. He often laughed to himself that if he hadn't been such an anxious mess, so determined he was going to break Calum's heart, he never would have broken the curse. Who would have thought that something as simple as denying a kiss would be the end to his obedience? It had taken longer than he'd care to admit to realise he wasn't obedient; he'd been so wrapped up in Calum. They'd slept side by side that night, and he'd wrapped his arms tight around Ashton, then the next day, they'd been the first to wake. Made pancakes for everyone, giggling and laughing, enjoying themselves so much that when Calum told him to 'grab the butter', he didn't even realise the tug in his stomach was gone. It was days later that he went to Crystal. They ran some experiments; she'd been ecstatic, so excited she'd started planning their future right away, telling Ashton what universities to apply to and all about the apartment they'd have together. Ashton, on the other hand, had been cautiously optimistic. Until an entire month had gone by without having to be obedient, he hadn't let himself completely believe he could have the life she was talking about. Then there was the why, which they'd speculated about for weeks, calling one another in the middle of the night with a new theory or with a rationale for why a pervious one couldn't be true. They'd come to the conclusion;True Love's Kiss? Most likely not. Grown out of it? Doubtful. The theory that had stuck was probably one of the bleaker ones, if he were honest, but it was the only one that they couldn't poke holes in. They decided that it was just that for once, Ashton had actually known what he wanted, with complete certainty. The embarrassing things he was made to do, much to his embarrassment now, part of him felt he deserved to be treated like that. And he'd never really had friendships before; he never knew where he stood or what he wanted with them, so even the things he was sure he didn't want to say or do to them, a part of him wasn't sure. And the day he'd nearly killed himself? Part of him had wondered whether he'd be better off dead; it wasn't until he listed off all the things he loved, the people he wanted to protect, that he became more firm in his 'staying alive' stance. Hours and hours of conversation between the two of them decided that it was a self-feeding cycle; if you didn't think you had control, you would give in, give up and not have any real hard and fast wants for your life. They agreed teenagers were probably the best people to curse with this because what teenager really knew what they wanted? Half the time between breakfast and first-period, they'd already changed their mind about something, and they were used to being limited by rules imposed on them. Ashton hadn't had any dreams or desires for after high school, he hadn't let himself, and if their theory was accurate, that had only made things worse. But Calum was the one thing Ashton had been sure about in the end, it took time, but he knew what he wanted, even if just for the thirty seconds it took to say 'no'.He'd made lots of decisions now; he'd decided to go to the University of Tasmania, Hobart was smaller than Sydney, but the weather was much nicer. He was still only a flight away from his mother, who had started dating again. Crystal had gotten in everywhere she'd applied, so she went with Ashton into this new, untainted world. The year after Michael had followed Crystal, he'd gone a non-scholastic path, starting a streaming channel. He wasn't very popular, but he had fun and worked at a coffee shop three days a week to support himself. Luke and Ashton had stayed in touch the entire year they'd been apart, and he even came to visit during his school breaks with Michael. Their apartment wasn't huge, so he almost always shared Ashton's bed, except the one time Ashton had come home and found Luke asleep across the entire thing, and he'd taken a single pillow and a thin sheet and slept on the lumpy couch. Luke had made the very split-second decision to follow everyone else to Hobart; it had been for no other reason than that he was sick of Sydney, and he missed everyone. He hadn't even picked a date, though, before he was calling Ashton in tears; Sierra had broken up with him as soon as he'd told her he wanted to move to Hobart. She'd said that if he was going to go and live with his secret boyfriend, 'yes, I'm not stupid, Luke', then there was no point sticking around. He'd cried and laughed as he told Ashton, in complete disbelief, that someone he loved so much could think so little of him.That had been the night Sierra and Luke broke up, and Luke packed up the next day and came to Hobart. He arrived before Michael, despite him having planned his move since the moment Crystal and Ashton had left the year earlier. So Luke had moved in with Crystal and Ashton, 'it's just temporary,' he'd told them. He'd packed no winter clothes, three pairs of underwear, a drumstick, toothpaste but no toothbrush and his laptop. And Ashton had held him on the couch when he cried, made him cups of coffee, sang him dumb songs and kept a watchful eye on him at night when he would get the loneliest. It took time, but slowly Luke got better. He found a job, made some friends and started applying to universities. That was when Crystal and Michael had decided it was time to get their own place, so they'd moved out of the apartment, and Luke moved out of Ashton's bed and into Crystal's old room. And Calum.Calum had taken the longest to move. Ashton had thought for a while that maybe he didn't want to leave Sydney, and he just didn't know how to tell him. They still texted every day and called all the time, but no mention of moving came, and Ashton didn't want to push it, so he didn't mention it. Satisfying himself with the fact that they loved each other, and he knew that much. Then came the day everyone else had prepared for, and Ashton had no clue coming. "Get the door," Luke told him through a handful of popcorn. Ashton had scoffed at him, "you know you can't just boss me around; this was my apartment first," "Jesus Christ, stop starting drama cause you're bored and open the damn door,"He sighed, knowing Luke was right and dislodged himself from his couch divet and headed for the door, only a second after Luke was getting up and heading for his bedroom, "Seriously? You were just going to get up anyway?" he called after him, but got no response. He groaned and pulled the door open, a frown marring his face. And Calum was there, and the frown was gone, and he'd launched himself into the younger boys arms. Calum squeezed him tight, but not tight enough, as Ashton pulled back and repositioned himself to attach his lips to the younger man's. I love you's, and I missed you's pressed into one another's mouths. It really hadn't been that long since they'd seen each other; Ashton went home during his breaks; Calum had been to visit him last year during his school holidays. But none of it was enough, not after they'd spent all summer before he left for Hobart together, the rest of Ashton's senior year seeing each other every day. So, Ashton couldn't help himself when he pulled Calum the rest of the way into the apartment, separating their lips just long enough that he could tug Calum's suitcase in from the hall and close the door in a hurry. Then it was Calum moving them toward the couch and tugging at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over Ashton's head, and then the pants, well they had to go to. Before they knew it, they were naked on the sofa, kissing and pawing at one another, any opportunity to get even a millimetre to bring them closer together. Ashton pulled back panting, "top or bottom?" he asked him. Calum grinned down at him, "you have bunk beds?"Ashton let out a laugh, "fuck, I missed you,"Calum kissed beside his mouth, "I missed you too," he told him before climbing off the couch in the same hurry they'd been in to get to the couch and rifled through the front zipper of his suitcase. When he returned, he had a bottle of lube in his hand, and his face was stupidly blank as he looked Ashton over and let out a groan. "I thought about wearing a plug on the plane, and I was like 'no, Ashton will probably want to talk to you before you fuck', and I was so wrong," They shared a look and a laugh, and then Calum was laying himself back on the couch and reaching two lubed fingers down to press into himself. Ashton was watching like he'd never seen another person in his life before. Watching carefully as Calum pressed the fingers in as deep as they would allow before dragging them out almost the entire way, over and over until he was sliding a third finger in beside the others. Moans and whines growing louder when Ashton reached a hand over to stroke him a few times. "Okay, stop," Calum said breathlessly, "If you do that, I won't last," his voice came out pleading. Ashton pulled back. Calum removed the fingers, immediately climbing onto his knees and pushed Ashton into the corner of the couch, kissing him roughly, just long enough to have the older man becoming putty in his hands, then pulling back. He whined, and Calum chuckled, reaching his hand behind him to grab the abandoned bottle of lube and apply a generous coating to Ashton's cock, the only relief it had had, being the few strokes it took him to lube it up.Then he was lowering himself onto Ashton's cock, a hand guiding it inside until he was seated on Ashton's hips, slowly start to swivel his hips, waiting for the whines to start leaving the older man. Who couldn't help but comply, "fuck, you feel so good," he told him, eyes screwed shut. Calum leant in mouthing at Ashton's neck, sucking and kissing his way up and then down along his pale shoulder. His hands went to Calum's waist, holding him steady as he slowly started to fuck up into him with short hard thrusts. The younger man was letting out a stream of 'Ah, Ah, Ah's each syllable lining up with a thrust, until Ashton changed his angle and Calum almost screamed, his open mouth coming down on Ashton's shoulder and biting hard to muffle the sound as he came on the other's stomach. "Please be gentle!" Ashton cried, tensing at the feeling. Calum pulled back, panting and pecked his lips, "Sorry, it's just been so long," he told him. "It's not like I'm fucking you into the headboard, Jesus," "I'm not Jesus, but I might be able to come again," Calum said, smirking. Ashton groaned, "too bad that joke just made me go soft," he shrugged. Calum swivelled his hips, and Ashton moaned, "still feels hard to me, come on, keep going," he told him. "But you just came; I can manage with a handjob," he said honestly. He shook his head, then leant in close to Ashton's ear, "I want you to paint my insides," he said quietly. Ashton choked, "no matter how much you change, you'll always be the easiest person to make blush," he said fondly. Ashton jerked his hips quickly, his way of saying shut up. Still, Calum just smirked, so he kept going, thrusting harder this time, and Calum's noises started up loud and uninhibited, and Ashton let himself relax, moans growing as Calum started to ride him, and he let his own hips drop back down to the couch. It wasn't long after that, and he was coming inside Calum, just like he'd asked for; as Calum climbed off Calum, he reached down and dipped two fingers inside himself, they came back out with a layer of come on them, and he dipped them in his mouth, licking it off. Ashton had an eyebrow raised at him, Calum wasn't usually like this, and then the younger man was pressing his mouth toward Ashton's and he realised what he was doing. Twisting his face away from him and keeping his mouth closed tight. It didn't work, Calum's lips were on his before he knew it and as he slowly kissed him, Ashton opened his mouth and winced a little as he got a mouthful of his own come. "you're such a little shit," he said as they pulled away from one another. "Did I tell you that I loved you and I missed you?" Calum said, staring at him lovingly, as though it would make up for the come assault. "No, you didn't... but you did tell me yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and I'm pretty sure every other day before that for the last I don't know twenty-two months or so,""So... you're saying you don't know that I love you and I miss you?""I'm not sure if it's ever even come up," Ashton chuckled, "of course I know that you idiot, didn't think you'd ever get here, but I never doubted that you loved me," he kissed him chastely, "I love you, and I missed you," he said just above a whisper.Calum was still staring at him fondly when they heard a door open, and Ashton realised he'd completely forgotten about Luke. "I see you guys are still super loud," he said as he strode into the living/kitchen area; Ashton couldn't see him, but Calum could from where he sat on the older man's abdomen because he was smirking. "Especially you," and Calum grinned. "Was that about me or Calum?" Ashton asked, trying to lean his neck back far enough to see around the back of the couch. "Calum!" Luke exclaimed, "it sounds like you're fucking a pornstar out here; not even girls who are faking it are that loud and gratuitous," his voice was exasperated. Ashton couldn't help but laugh, "He sucks dick like a pornstar too," That had been so long ago now, and he took an appreciative look around at them all; Michael and Crystal were in the salvation army recliner that smelt like cheese, and Luke and Calum were snuggled together under a big blanket on the couch, the same couch Ashton and Calum had fucked on that day, and the same couch Ashton had had to sleep on when Luke kicked him out of his bed. Calum had told him that day that he was going to start apartment hunting in a week or so, he just wanted to spend a little while together first, and then he'd never moved out. Luke had never complained about the new roommate, and rightly so, considering that's how he'd moved in. But Ashton and Calum had never really discussed it again after that, just accepting that the dark-haired man was now his live-in boyfriend. "Ashton, seriously, was your father a glass maker?" Crystal called from the recliner. "Huh?" Ashton said, turning to face her, "no,""Then get out of the road," she said; Michael chuckled beside her, his fingers running up and down her arm. Ashton shook his head and smiled a little, moving to take his spot-on Calum's other side, where he snuggled right in, resting his head against his boyfriend's chest. "Okay so, I know it sucks, but we have to watch Grease 2. It makes Grease seem so much better," Crystal told them excitedly. "Are you getting a weird sense of Deja Vu?" Ashton whispered, looking up at Calum."Yeah, actually,"The End.