Work Text
One more day's march, Lew told himself. One more day, and they'd be in Atlanta, and have showers and goddamn beds.It was too cold to sleep. Even two men pressed together inside a tent, Lew couldn't stop shivering for long enough for the dog-tired weariness of the day's march to drag him down. He thought he'd maybe caught a few minutes in there somewhere, but as first light crept through the canvas, he felt as exhausted as he had laying down the night before. He kept his eyes mostly closed, and pretended that he'd be allowed to just lie there all morning listening to the rain outside.However cold it was in here, it'd be worse out there.He could feel Dick stretched out beside him, surprisingly still in his sleeping bag and not out trying to win a footrace something. The warmth of his body seeped through both their uniforms and the bags, the only living thing Lew had felt in days. Lew wanted to snuggle in, to pull Dick's arm over his body, to kiss his palm, and then his wrist, and then his lips.They'd had a couple passes together with lazy mornings sharing a bed in a Red Cross billet or shitty hotel. It'd been easy then, as now, to pretend they were there because they both wanted to be, because they'd done something other than fall into bed together the night before. Not because Dick Winters was a cheap bastard, and Lew couldn't turn down a chance to be close in whatever way he could. It wasn't like the falling into bed was ever going to gain euphemistic qualities, not with a man so straight he wouldn't know what a euphemism was.Sometimes, though, on those mornings, or other times they'd ended up sharing a tent, Lew had woken up to find Dick lying on his side next to him, his head propped on his hand, looking down at Lew while he slept. Dick always blinked and turned away the second he realised the Lew was awake, but in those brief unguarded movements, the open affection written across Dick's face made Lew's heart clench to the point of physical pain.He looked now, and Dick was watching him again, his fist pushing wrinkles into his cheek but not hiding the softness in his eyes, or the way his lips parted. Lew didn't think Dick was looking at him, so much as he was taking a moment to daydream. Of what stuff Dick Winters' dreams were made, Lew didn't know.Lew knew what his were of course, and they involved being the only person Dick ever looked at like that. It could be him, he'd think, Lew could be the one that Dick was looking at, that he was seeing. Problem was, Dick never seemed to notice when Lew woke up.That freezing December morning somewhere between Toccoa and Atlanta, Dick was a million miles away."Morning," Lew said, unable to stand dragging the moment out any longer, or raising his hopes any higher."Mmm?" Dick asked. His eyes snapped into focus, seeming to only just notice Lew as he lay rumpled and exhausted next to him. For the first time, instead of immediately glancing away, Dick smiled. It started with a twitch of his lips, but spread into a wide, toothy grin that crinkled his eyes. His face lit up with enough open affection to warm the whole camp. Wherever he'd been before, apparently seeing the downtrodden remains of one Lewis Nixon was an improvement on it. "Morning," Dick said.It was a tone Lew had used with any number of lovers over the years. It choked him now.Lew knew that any moment Sobel would yell at them, and they'd all be dragging themselves to their feet for another day of marching in the freezing rain. Dick would be all Mr. All America again, his whole being focused on his men as it was focused on Lew now. He'd would keep on that way until the next time they ended up sharing a tent or a bunk, and then Lew would wake up with Dick watching him fondly, but neither of them would say anything. They'd have years of service together, and Lew could see one morning after another lining up ahead of him, with no change unless an Axis bullet found one of them.It was enough to make a man cry, if Lew had been prone to weeping.Instead, he did the only thing he could think of that wouldn't break his heart. Lew reached across and took Dick's free hand, and pulled it to his mouth.Lew kissed Dick's palm, tasting salt, and when Dick didn't pull away, kissed his wrist just below his watch band. There was a ring of grime there, but Lew didn't care. He heard Dick inhale sharply, but still Dick didn't pull away, so Lew dropped Dick's hand and leaned up.Their lips only met for a second, a brush of warmth on a winter morning, before good sense prevailed, and they broke away. Even that half-second touch flushed heat through Lew's whole body."Why'd you do that?" Dick asked, his lips still parted as though inviting another kiss, his eyes wide and stunned."'Cause you were never going to," Lew said. He stayed still, and Dick's arm lay stretched over him, holding Lew to the earth."Didn't think you'd want—" Dick blinked and looked away. "Guess you do.""Yeah," Lew told him with emphasis. "Guess I do."Men were stirring outside the tent, loud enough to be heard over rain on canvas, and Dick sat up and started pushing out of his sleeping bag. He'd folded his overcoat into a pillow, and now he shook it out with a snap, shattering the bubble of peace and possibility that had been building since Lew had woken up."Dick," Lew started, but Dick shook his head. For a horrifying moment, Lew thought it would be written off as a moment of whimsy, or a dream."We can't now," Dick said. "Wait until Atlanta," and then, to make sure Lew didn't misunderstand, he added, "I want it too."One more day, Lew told himself, and smiled.