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Balthazar opens his eyes, taking in his favourite spot on the far side of Planet Sparkles. From this topmost ledge of the crystalline Palace of Infinite Reflection, an unspoiled window to the cosmos unfurls before him. The floodlights at his feet provide a gentle glow in the darkness, like fireflies at rest.
The salon is closed for the night; without the herds of guests receiving treatments, it's the perfect conditions for a few minutes of quiet. Balthazar figures it's about time to let the person next to him appreciate it, too.
“You can open your eyes again, when you're ready,” he says in his trademark soft voice.
Sweet Mayhem (General Mayhem to her superiors, May to her close friends) stirs from her quiet contemplation. For this little outing, she had decided not to don her helmet. She simply didn't see the need. Besides, a part of what she had done required her to be aware of the surrounding environment. She sighs in bemusement. Trust her best friend to guide her through a world that, until now, was nigh on inaccessible. Especially at this hour.
“This is the most relaxed I've felt in ages,” she muses. “I feel so… enlightened somehow! You know, meditation is a lot more enjoyable than I thought it would be.”
Balthazar can't help but tut I at that. “Assumption seems to follow me wherever I go."
"What do you mean?" asks Mayhem.
Balthazar stares off into the night sky as he explains. The vast array of stars and nebulae, seemingly limitless in designs, is the perfect backdrop for one of his spiritual soliloquies. "The thing people always tend to believe about meditation is that it's about clearing the mind of thoughts. That's what they often say when they come to me for advice, at any rate. They think that all it takes to solve their problems is to sit still with their eyes closed for ten minutes, batting away the ideas they don't like. In truth, we meditate to see our thoughts and feelings more clearly. The trick is to realize that one is not one's thoughts. Instead of pushing them away, or trying to change or act on them, allow them in and witness how they unfold. Just let them be, exactly as is. No matter what they throw at you. It's that kind of sentiment which brings me to this…” He locks eyes with his friend. “May, there's something I haven't told you about me. I've been putting it off, but it's time I let it out."
Mayhem tilts her head a little upon hearing this. He isn't usually the type to keep things from her, especially when it comes to his personal life. Whatever it is, it must be serious. Is he ill? Leaving? Not actually a vampire after all?
“Balthazar,” she says, “you don't have to say it like that. I'm here for you. Whatever you want to tell me, tell me.”
Slowly nodding in response, Balthazar takes some deep breaths to centre himself. This is it.
“I'm bisexual.”
He watches Mayhem lean backwards. Not that he blames her at all - he did just drop this huge bombshell. Silence hangs in the air for a moment or two, the only sound being the soft ambient music from the speakers to their right. For the gods’ sakes, he thinks, please just talk to me!
“Forgive me if I say the wrong thing,” says Mayhem at last, “But have you told anyone else?”
“No,” replies Balthazar. “So far, you're the only one who knows. I'd like to keep it that way for now. The reason I asked you to meditate with me is so that I could understand how I felt before telling you. I had been silent for so many years…” In spite of himself, his eyes begin to burn with emotion and his voice wobbles. “I'm afraid, May. Afraid that you'll turn on me. Cast me out. Say that I'm confused or that I need to choose a side. That happened to me a lot when I was young, but I feel close enough to you that you'd at least be willing to listen. So why am I still scared of what you'll say next?”
I can't believe I'm doing this, he thinks to himself as he tries to blink away the fear. No. I can't absorb myself in my thoughts. It's time to be brave. He gives Mayhem time to process what he's just said, then shakes his head. “I can't run from this part of myself anymore.”
Mayhem shuffles a little closer to him. His heart races, once again begging her to say something, anything. And then the smile.
“Well, you know what? I'm proud of you for trusting me enough to tell me. Thank you. If you're scared, I understand that. But you don't have to worry anymore. Like I said before, we'll always be friends. I value you so much, and that won't change just because I now know that you're bi. If it does, it'll only be for the better. And, when you're ready to tell someone else, I'll be right beside you.” A pregnant pause; she opens up her arms. “Do you want a hug?”
That’s it. The floodgates can hold strong no longer. Balthazar takes Mayhem up on her offer, wrapping his arms around her back. Her suit feels quite cool to touch but he doesn't seem to mind. He's more concerned about resting his head on her shoulder, finally allowing the waiting tears to fall. Only this time, they're tears of joy at finding the acceptance he had longed for all these years. While the world doesn't need to know just yet, perhaps history won't repeat itself. Things could be different. He could be free to be happy, loved and admired as his whole self. Right now, though...
“Promise me,” says Mayhem as she eases out of the hug, “That I'll get an invite for the wedding!”
Balthazar chuckles weakly. “Believe me, you'll be top of the list.”
With a newfound sense of contentment, the two of them walk happily back inside to plan on getting a celebratory drink.