Archive of Our Own

Work Text

… Victor…

I’m so sorry…
Victor cracked his eyes open and immediately snapped them back closed as the bright sunlight sent a lance of pain through his head.Victor moaned as he placed his hand on his head. Everything hurts… What happened to me? He tried to make sense of the muddled thoughts inside his head, but they dissipated like smoke.
I… I can’t remember anything. The only thing I remember is that voice… it called me… Victor? Is that my name?
He sighed deeply, wracking his mind for even the most minute detail. It’s no use. I can’t remember a thing. A voice off to his left said, “You’re awake. Thank the Gods.” The voice sighed in relief. “I was starting to think you might not wake after all.”Victor carefully opened his eyes and glanced at the man sitting nearby. Do I know him? I don’t think he looks familiar. I’m not sure… Victor voice was raspy and weak as he asked, “Do we know each other?”The man said, “No, today was the first day that I have ever met you. I’m Christophe. You don’t remember anything, do you?”Victor shook his head. The action caused the pain in his head to intensify. Ug, I shouldn’t have done that… He winced and closed his eyes against the pain.Christophe said, “I expected as much.”Victor opened his eyes carefully. He sighed. “Why? Something happened to me, didn’t it? That’s why I can’t remember anything…”Christophe said, “Yes, something happened. But, I don’t know what. I was just asked to take you someplace where you could recover safely.” He spread his arms wide as he said, “So welcome to the small seaside town of Hasetsu, Japan. Winter just began, so you should be fine here for the next few months.”Victor croaked out, “What do you mean by that?”Christophe’s eyes widened in shock. “You mean you don’t even remember that? Gods, this is worse than I thought.” He rested a finger next to his mouth as he thought. “Let’s see… How do I explain this? Hmm…”Victor said, “Just tell me.”Christophe nodded. “Okay. Victor, you are not human. Neither am I, for that matter. We’re both what some would call elementals, for lack of a better word. I’m an Amour spirit. You, well you’re an Ice spirit. That’s why you need to worry about how warm it is here. You could get in distress, or even die, if you are too warm.”Victor’s head was spinning. I’m a what? He seriously expects me to believe that? Christophe sighed. “You don’t believe me.”“No, why should I? You sound crazy, you know.”Christophe stood. He said, “Maybe a demonstration, then? Watch this.”There was little foot traffic where they were, but there was a young couple strolling through the park. The woman kept glancing at the man, who seemed oblivious to her attention. Christophe walked towards the couple and stopped a short distance away. What does he think he is doing? The couple didn’t seem to notice Christophe, even though he was standing right in their path. Victor watched in shock as the man walked right through Christophe. After passing through, the man looked down at the woman as if for the first time. His voice was full of love and adoration as he softly said, “Hiroko…”She stopped at the sound of her name and was taken by surprise when he bent down to catch her lips in a kiss. He whispered, “I’ve never told you this, but I love you, Hiroko.”She smiled, the love she felt reflected in her eyes. “I love you, too, Toshiya.”Victor’s eyes were wide in disbelief. Christophe walked back, a smile on his face. Victor sputtered, “What did you do to them?” He pointed to the couple, who were now walking hand in hand away from them.Christophe shrugged dismissively as he sat down next to Victor. “Hmm, I guess that you could say that I gave them a little push in the right direction. Those two were destined to be together. All I did was help them see it. That’s how my power works. I can amplify the love that humans feel for each other, and help that love along.”Victor asked, “So you are not claiming to create love, just amplify it? If that is the case, what exactly can I do? I’m confused... “ Victor clutched the side of his head in pain.Christophe sighed sympathetically. Poor guy, this is a lot to take in at once. At least Eirwen told me what I should say to him, if it turned out that he had lost his memories like she suspected. But I still don’t understand why she didn’t want me to tell him about her… Oh, well. It does not bode well to meddle in the affairs of the Gods. Christophe said, “As an ice elemental, you can actually create frost, ice, and snow. I believe that if a person passes through you, all that they would feel is a sudden chill.”Victor said, “Oh.” He smiled weakly. “I think I like your power better. You get to help people be happy…” And all I can do is make people feel cold. Why do I even exist? Christophe sighed. “Victor.” I don’t know what to say to make him feel better. Is there anything that I can say?  Christophe felt a familiar pull in his mind. I’m being summoned… I better wrap this up. Christophe said, “As you saw, we affect the humans around us with our powers. But they cannot see, hear, or touch us. If we try to touch a human, we will simply pass through them.”Victor swallowed dryly. I… I can’t believe this! He’s telling me that we are surrounded by people that we can’t interact with? Why?  Christophe touched Victor on the shoulder. “I hate to be the one to tell you all of this. I know that this isn’t easy. Most of us, we come to terms with this early on. And I’m sure that you did, the first time. It’s a blow, I’m sure, to get it all laid on you at once like this.”Reluctantly, Christophe stood. “I really wish that I could stay, and help you adjust to all of this again. But, I’m afraid that I have been summoned. I’m sorry, but one cannot simply ignore the Gods. Good luck, Victor. I’ll come check on you before the end of winter.”With that, Christophe winked out of sight.Victor bowed his head, tears falling from his eyes. They immediately froze to his cheeks. In a barely audible whisper he pleaded, “Please, don’t leave me here alone…”***Even years later, Victor found himself spending time in Hasetsu during its winter. He was drawn to the place, by a force that he could not understand. If I had to guess, it is because this place is as close to a home as I have. My first memories are of this place.
Of all the places in the world, why did Chris decide to bring me here that day? The climate here is so mild that I can’t even stay here for very long. He could have taken me somewhere that stays cool all year long. Like Antarctica or the Arctic Circle. Not like I would have been any lonelier there than here.

Why? Why can’t they see me? Hear me? Touch me? Why do they always walk right through me, like I don’t even exist?
Victor did not try to stop the tears that froze on his cheeks before they could fall. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. Victor leaned back against the tree he was sitting under. He sighed, and the puff of air from his mouth formed tiny ice crystals that fell and shattered on the ground.  
I don’t feel the cold. No one ever sees me, and I have never met anyone else like me, save Chris. Why am I here? Do I have a purpose? Do I really even exist?
A voice cut through his thoughts. “Um, aren’t you cold?”Victor ignored the voice, knowing that the person wasn’t talking to him. They couldn’t be…A dark haired teenager stepped into Victor’s line of sight and crouched down to Victor’s eye level. He asked, “Are you okay? It’s awful cold, and you’re not even wearing shoes…”Victor looked around him and, seeing no one else nearby, pointed at himself. Victor asked hesitantly, “Are you talking to me?”The boy nodded. “Of course I am. Do you see anyone else here?”Victor’s eyes were wide as he said, “You can see me.”The boy nodded slowly, “Yes, why wouldn’t I? Are you sure you’re okay? Did you hit your head or something?”Victor shook his head. He mumbled, “This has never happened before. He can see me. He can hear me. I wonder…”Hesitantly, Victor reached out and gently touched the boy’s arm. Instead of passing through his arm, Victor’s fingers were stopped. I can touch him! Oh, Gods… Overwhelmed, Victor leaned forward and pulled the surprised young man into an awkward hug. Victor whispered, “Who are you?”The boy gently pushed Victor off. His eyes were wide in shock. Even through our clothes, I can feel how cold he is. He feels too cold… Is he sick? Should I get him some help? Maybe I should just leave? But he asked me a question. It would be impolite not to answer. He replied, “I’m Katsuki Yuuri. My family owns an onsen not far from here.” He paused for a moment. “Um, you feel really cold. Do you need some help?”Victor shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I’m Victor, by the way. You have no idea how good it is to meet you, Yuuri.”Yuuri studied the man sitting before him. Hmm, silver hair, and yet he looks young. Maybe in his twenties? His eyes are so blue; they remind me of ice. And his skin is so pale…
He doesn’t look Japanese, and his name sounds foreign. Who exactly is he?
Yuuri asked, “Where are you from, and how did you end up here like this?” He motioned to include Victor’s shoeless state.Victor sighed. Will he believe me if I tell him the truth? Should I tell him? He probably already thinks that I’m crazy… Victor shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not really sure?” He took a deep breath and added, “Um, I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, but I’m… not like you.”Yuuri asked, “How do you mean?”“I’m not human.”Yuuri sighed deeply. I knew it. He’s delusional or something… Yuuri said, “Okay, you say you’re not human.Then, what are you?”Victor huffed. He doesn’t believe me. Not that I expected him to, but still… Victor said, “I am an elemental. An Ice spirit, specifically. Watch…”Vicor held out his hand, the palm facing up. A small tendril of ice formed from his fingertips. Yuuri gasped in surprise. Victor smiled at Yuuri’s reaction, allowing the ice to leap from his fingers with a flourish.  Victor said, “I have been like this for as long as I can remember. You are the first human that I have ever met that could see me.”Yuuri asked incredulously, “Other people can’t see you?”Victor nodded.A young woman walked towards Yuuri. She said. “Yuuri, did something happen at school today? You usually only talk to yourself when you’re stressed out.”Yuuri looked up. “But I’m not talking to myself, Mari. Clearly I’m talking to him.” He pointed at Victor.Mari shook her head. “Yuuri, are you sure that you’re okay?”Yuuri nodded slowly. “Yes. Why?”Mari said, “Because there is no one there?”Victor said, “See? I told you. She can’t see me…”Yuuri’s eyes were wide in disbelief. Mari can’t see him? How? He’s right there, plain as day! Am I going mad? Mari moved to stand in front of Yuuri, giving Yuuri the unsettling image of her standing in the same space as Victor. Mari shivered and asked, “Did it just get colder?” She shrugged, “Whatever. Come on, Yuuri. You’re going to be late for practice.”Victor said, “She can’t touch me, either. No one else can.” He sighed. “They walk right through me, with only a momentary chill as they pass through.”Yuuri said quietly, “That’s so sad… I wish I didn’t have to go.”Mari said, “I thought that you liked practice? Do you just want to go home today instead?”Yuuri shook his head. “No, sorry Mari. I was thinking about something else.” Gah, it’s tough having both of these conversations at once, without Mari thinking that I’ve lost my mind…
… Maybe I have?
Yuuri said, “You go on ahead, and I’ll catch up. I… need to retie my shoe.”Mari nodded, “Okay, just hurry up.”Yuuri nodded as Mari walked away. He watched her walk off a distance before turning back to Victor and asking, “How can this be possible? How can I see you when no one else can? How do I know you are real?”Victor shrugged dejectedly. “I don’t know… I’m sorry.”Yuuri sighed. “Don’t apologize. Just… stay here. Prove to me that you’re real by staying under this tree until I get back. I have to go to skate practice. I’ll be back in about two hours. Stay, and then we can talk. Okay?”Victor nodded, not trusting his voice. You see me. I would wait as long as need be to speak with you again. Yuuri smiled. “Okay, then I’ll see you soon. Sorry, but I really need to go, or I’ll be late.”Yuuri rose and ran off in the direction that Mari had gone. Victor smiled and leaned his head back against the tree, causing frost to creep up the bark. He closed his eyes as he thought, I would have never guessed that someone would see me. Not only that, but I can touch him.
Yuuri…

Please, don’t make me be alone anymore…
***“Mari, I’m going for a run before I go home. Tell mom and dad that I’ll be home in time for dinner.”Yuuri rushed out of the Ice Castle and ran back to the park near his house. His breath came out in white puffs as he struggled to breathe the cold air. Was he real? If he was, will he still be there? Yuuri quickened his pace, anxious to reach the tree. Why is it that I can see him when no one else can? It doesn’t make any sense. Maybe I am going crazy. The tree came into sight. Yuuri slowed as he saw the figure leaned up against it, apparently asleep.   He’s still here. I guess this means… that maybe he is real after all. Victor opened his eyes as he heard Yuuri approach. His eyes lit up. “You came back.”Yuuri nodded. “Of course I did. I promised. And anyways, it seems like you could use a friend. So could I. So… how about it?”Yuuri wrung his hands nervously as he waited for an answer. Please. I don’t have a lot of friends... Victor smiled. “I would love that.”***A Month LaterYuuri ran through the falling snow, excitement clear on his face. It’s snowing! The first snowfall of the season. I’ve always loved the snow. He turned into the park and ran towards the tree. I wonder how Victor feels about the snow? I bet he likes it, too. And since it’s Sunday, that means that I can spend most of the day with him. Until it is time to go to practice. Victor was sitting under his tree, his back resting against its trunk as the snow piled up around him. Yuuri smiled at the sight. He looks almost ethereal, surrounded by the snow like that. I still sometimes find it hard to believe that he’s real… “Victor!”Victor looked up when Yuuri called out his name. His face lit up in a heart-shaped grin. Victor stood and called out, “Yuuri! I didn’t expect to see you today.”Yuuri laughed as he came to a stop in front of Victor. “Why not? It’s Sunday. Plus, just look at all of this beautiful snow. I wouldn’t give up a chance to enjoy it with you.”Victor blushed slightly. “You… like the snow?”Yuuri nodded. “I always have. But Mari stopped playing in the snow with me ages ago. I’m looking forward to spending the day in it with you.”Victor’s blush intensified. Yuuri grinned widely. Is he… embarrassed? Why? Did I say something weird? I’m not very good with talking to people… Victor asked, “What do you want to do first?”“I thought we could build some snow rabbits?”Victor arched an eyebrow. “You’re making that up. I’ve heard of snowmen, of course. And I’ve seen hundreds of them built over the timespan that I can remember. But I think I would remember snow rabbits.”Yuuri chuckled. “I thought you said that you spend every winter in Hasetsu. There’s no way that you’ve missed snow rabbits all of this time. You probably just didn’t realize that’s what they were. Here, I’ll show you how to make one.”Yuuri knelt down in the snow. Victor followed, sitting down on a snowbank and watching Yuuri intently.“First, you take some snow and form it into an oblong shape, like this.” Yuuri took a large handful of snow and carefully shaped it.“That is the body of your rabbit. Now, let’s see…” Yuuri looked around the park. “Ah, I’ll be right back.”Victor watched as Yuuri took some red berries off a nearby bush, and took two leaves off a piece of bamboo. Yuuri walked back and knelt down in front of his snow rabbit. He used the berries to make eyes, and attached the leaves to make ears.Yuuri turned towards Victor and said with a smile, “And that is a snow rabbit.”Victor studied the small snow sculpture. “It’s a lot smaller than the snowmen that they make in other places. And now that you’ve shown me one, I admit that I have seen them before…”He paused for a moment before asking, “Can we make some more?”Yuuri nodded. “We can make a whole colony of snow rabbits, if you want. I’ll go get some more berries and leaves. Why don’t you work on forming the rabbits?”Victor nodded, grinning like a kid. I’ve never done anything like this before. I guess… I just never saw the point… His thoughts were interrupted when something hit him squarely in the cheek. Victor looked up in surprise to see Yuuri grinning at him like an idiot, holding three snowballs in his arms, with another in his hand ready to launch.Victor growled out, “Oh, so it’s going to be like that, is it?”Yuuri laughed as he launched a second snowball at Victor. Victor smiled as he sidestepped the snowball, but missed the second one that hit him in the shoulder.“Okay, two can play that game. You asked for it, Yuuri.”Yuuri grinned as he launched another snowball. “Bring it.”Victor summoned his magic, using it to form balls of tightly packed snow in his hands. He heard Yuuri call out, “Hey, that’s cheating. Make snowballs like the rest of us…”“It’s not cheating. It is using resources wisely.”“Cheating.”Victor threw a snowball at Yuuri, hitting him in the side of the face as Yuuri knelt down to gather more snow. Yuuri fell over into a snow drift.
Oh, no! Did I hurt him?
Victor ran over towards Yuuri. Yuuri was lying prone in the snow. Victor’s breath caught. Oh, Gods. I did hurt him. Is he alright? “Yuuri…?”Before he could finish the question, Yuuri reached up and grabbed him by the arm. He pulled Victor down into the snow bank next to him.Yuuri said, “That kind of hurt. Your snow was packed a little too tight.”Victor frowned. “I’m sorry. I’ve… never made snowballs before, that I can remember.”“What do you mean, that you can remember?”“Something happened to me. I can’t remember anything prior to 25 years ago.”Yuuri eyes went wide. “You what ?”Victor shrugged. “I’ve learned to live with it. It just means that there are a lot of things that I have to relearn. And a lot of things that I get to do for the first time, all over again.”
Like building snow rabbits, or having a snowball fight. Have I ever done these things before? Even if I have, I doubt that I enjoyed myself as much as I did today, with Yuuri. If the price of being here today, with him, was my memories, I would gladly pay the price again.

Today was the best day that I’ve ever had.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The spring came much too quickly, and before Victor knew it, it was time for him to leave. He was waiting underneath their tree in the park, the last of the winter’s snow in small piles at his feet. I just want to tell him goodbye first. I would hate it if he thought I had abandoned him… Yuuri ran up to the tree, his breath making tiny white clouds. He stopped in front of Victor and looked up, smiling brightly. His smile faded when he saw the sullen look on Victor’s face.“Victor, what’s wrong?”Victor sighed. “Yuuri… I have to leave.”Yuuri’s eyes grew wide. “What? What do you mean?”Victor said, “You know that I’m not like you. We’ve talked about this before. And when spring arrives, when it gets warm, I can’t stay. I’m sorry, Yuuri. I don’t want to…”Yuuri asked quietly, “Will… will you come back?”
Will I ever get to see you again. Or was this all just a fantasy that I created in my own head. Please, don’t let this be the end.
Victor cried out, “Of course! I’ll be back as soon as I can! The first frost. I’ll be right here. I promise.”Yuuri let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Then I’ll be here, too. I’ll wait all day, if I need to. I promise.”Yuuri reached out and gently touched Victor’s hand, but hissed in pain and pulled it back as soon as their skin met. Victor looked from Yuuri’s hand to his face and back again in alarm.“Yuuri…?”Yuuri was blowing gently on his fingers. “It’s okay. I’m okay. See?”Yuuri showed Victor his fingertips. The slight pink from the contact was already fading away.Victor sighed in relief. We’ll have to be careful about that in the future. I didn’t know that we couldn’t touch like that. I’ll have to make sure that I don’t touch his bare skin. Ever. Yuuri sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”Victor shook his head. “No, I should apologize. I didn’t realize that we couldn’t touch. I feel like… I knew that at one point. But…”Yuuri nodded in understanding. “Your lost memories.”Victor lowered his head. His voice was barely above a whisper as he choked out, “I’m sorry. If I still had my memories, this would never have happened.”Victor sank to the ground, his head cradled in his hands. Tears fell from his eyes, only to freeze instantly to his cheeks. What happened to me? Is this a punishment for something I did? Why would the Gods take my memories from me? Yuuri knelt down next to Victor, concern evident on his face. He said, “Victor… I don’t care. I don’t care if you never get your memories back. We can make new ones.”Victor looked up tentatively. The tears he cried were still frozen to his face. Yuuri covered his hand with the sleeve of his shirt and wiped them away. He could feel the cold through the thin material of the shirt, but with even that thin layer, it was bearable. At least for a short time. At least long enough to give him this. Victor took in a shaky breath. “Sorry. I’m a mess. All I wanted was to tell you goodbye before I had to leave…”Yuuri smiled sadly. “I know. It’s okay.”Yuuri searched Victor’s face. He looks absolutely miserable. As much as I hate this, it is so much worse for him. And to leave it all like this… Yuuri asked quietly, “Are you going to be okay? Couldn’t you stay…?”“I don’t have a choice. If I stay, I might die.”Yuuri started. “What? ”Victor sighed. “If I get too warm, it could kill me. I have to leave. I have no choice.”Yuuri nodded slowly. Isn’t there any other way? I just… I can’t stand to see him like this. Isn’t there a way for him to stay…? Yuuri’s eyes lit up as he was hit with an idea. “Ice Castle.”Victor looked up. “Hmm?”Yuuri asked, “Do you have to leave right now? Or do you have time to come with me somewhere?”Victor said slowly, “I think… I could probably stay a little bit longer.”“Great! Follow me, Victor. I have an idea.”***Yuuri opened the door leading into the rink. Victor took a deep breath of the cold air and gasped in surprise. He asked hesitantly, “Is it always like this?”Yuuri nodded. “They have to keep it cold. To keep the ice from melting.”Victor whispered, “I could stay…”Yuuri said, “I know that it’s not ideal. You would have to stay in this part of the building. It’s the only part that is kept this cold. And you would be stuck here until at least December, when it gets cold again.“But, I would be here every day. I have practice for two hours a day. And I can stay longer…”
Is it worth it? Am I worth it?
Victor turned towards Yuuri, fresh tears frozen on his cheeks. “I’ll do it. I’ll stay.”
I thought I would have to leave. I thought that I wouldn’t get to see you. For months. This way, we can still see each other, still talk to one another.
And I would do anything in order to stay close to you. As long as you want to stay close to me. ***That EveningThe lights turned off overhead as the last of the employees made their way out of the rink. Victor sighed. Now what? I told him that I would stay, but…
What exactly am I going to do for nearly nine months, stuck in this place day after day?
Victor sighed as he walked slowly around the rink area. “I’m pretty much limited to this space. If I go into the main part of the building, I might get too warm. So…”
Maybe I could do some simple maintenance for them, as a way of thanking them for their hospitality. As long as it was something I couldn’t harm…
Victor eyed the ice. It was covered with deep gash marks from skaters over the course of the day. I could smooth the ice for them. Save them some time. Victor smiled. “This could be fun…”He stepped on the ice, relishing the feel of the slick, cold surface beneath his bare feet. It has been too long since I stepped out onto ice. The winters here don’t get cold enough to freeze the water like this. And it always feels different when I freeze it myself. I’ve… missed this… As he made his way carefully around the rink, using his power to smooth the ice to a glossy sheen, Victor whispered, “Thank you, Yuuri.”“Thank you for seeing me. For wanting me to stay. For showing me what I’ve been missing all of this time. You have no idea what it means, what you mean to me, Yuuri.”***A Few Weeks Later“Victor, can you skate?”Victor looked over at Yuuri as the boy stopped just shy of the boards. He nodded. “I’ve never tried, but I don’t see why not.”Yuuri smirked. “What would other humans see? A pair of skates going around by themselves?”Victor snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. Anything that I’m wearing or holding disappears to the eyes of most humans.”Yuuri’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape. “That explains your clothes…”Victor nodded. “So if I put on a pair of human skates, they would become invisible, too.”Yuuri asked, “Would you skate with me, then? My lesson is over, and the rink is empty.”Victor nodded. “I would like that.”Yuuri grinned. “Great! Can you go grab skates, or do you need me to?”“I can do it. It won’t take too long, so the heat shouldn’t bother me too much.”Yuuri nodded. “Hurry back.”Victor nodded as he turned and walked towards the double doors that lead out of the rink area. I haven’t even tried to leave the rink since I first arrived. As long as I do this quickly, I should be okay. Now, where do they keep the skates…?
Oh, there they are.
Victor vaulted easily over the counter and scanned the racks for a pair of skates that would fit him. He grabbed a pair and made his way back to the rink.
Gods, I feel sick. And I was only in there for a few minutes. I guess Chris wasn’t kidding when he said that if I get too warm…

That I could die.
Victor stumbled back through the doors leading into the rink. Yuuri looked up in alarm and snapped his guards over his skate blades. He rushed off of the ice. Concerned, he asked, “Victor, are you all right? You’re really pale. And, are you sweating?”Victor took a deep breath of the cold air and tried to control his erratic heartbeat. “Yes, it was just warmer in there than I anticipated. I guess I got a little overheated?”“I should have gone.”Victor asked, “And what size would you have chosen for me?”Yuuri shrugged. “I could have guessed. And we could have kept trying until we found the right size.” Anything is better than seeing you in distress like this. Victor waved him off. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine in a minute.”Yuuri sighed. “If you’re sure…”Victor nodded. “I’m sure. Please don’t worry about me, Yuuri. I’ll be fine.”“Okay, but I think we should skip the skating for today.”Victor pouted. “But…”Yuuri shook his head. “No buts. You are obviously not well. It’s my fault, I should have gone to get the skates for you. Now we know better. Next time, I’ll get the skates.”Victor smiled. “Next time?”Yuuri nodded. “Yes, I still want to skate with you. So, next time.”“I can live with that.”***A Few Days LaterYuuri walked into the rink, carrying his training bag and an extra pair of skates. He smiled widely as he said, “Victor, let’s skate together.”Victor looked up in surprise. He hasn’t brought it up since the fiasco a few days ago. I decided that he had changed his mind. That skating with me wasn’t worth the trouble. Granted, I could glide across the ice on my bare feet, but I would like to try skating like the humans do. Like Yuuri does. “I would love to skate with you, Yuuri.”Yuuri set the skates down next to Victor. “Great! Here, let me show you how to lace up the skates. Then, we’ll see about teaching you some of the basics.” Even though, given his nature, I have a feeling that he will be a natural… Victor nodded, then grinned excitedly as Yuuri showed him how to put on the skates and lace them securely to his feet. They feel weird on my feet. I’ve never actually worn anything on my feet before, that I can remember… How do humans wear them all of the time? Yuuri stood, then reached out a hand to help Victor to his feet. “It may take you a moment to get your balance. Don’t be surprised if you feel unsteady on your feet at first. We’ll take it slow, okay?”Victor nodded. “Of course.” He’s right. I’m used to standing on the soles of my feet. Now I’m balancing on these very thin blades of metal attached to the bottom of these boots. It feels so odd... Victor rested his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, careful to avoid his uncovered neck. It’s only if I touch his bare skin that we have a problem. I just need to be careful, and make sure that I touch his clothes, and not his skin. I don’t want to hurt him... Victor walked carefully to the ice, using Yuuri as a support. When he reached the boards, Victor let go and allowed Yuuri to step out onto the ice first. Once he had made his way onto the ice, Yuuri turned back towards Victor. “Be careful, the first step out onto the ice is always a bit tricky for new skaters.”Victor nodded as he took the blade guards off of the skates and gingerly stepped out onto the ice. He grabbed the boards like he was holding on for dear life. Oh, Gods. This was a bad idea. I’m going to fall. I’m going to fall and hurt myself. Yuuri smiled as he held out his hands to Victor. “Take my hands.”Victor shook his head. “No, I’ll fall. And I’ll make you fall, too. I should just take them off…”“Come on, Victor. Do you really think I would let you fall?”“No…”Yuuri smiled. “Then trust me, and take my hands.”Victor let go of the boards with one hand, placing it into Yuuri’s gloved hand. Once he felt steady, he placed the other hand in Yuuri’s as well.Yuuri said, “We’re just going to start with some simple straight skating. Just skate towards me, okay?”Victor nodded as he slid one skate forward towards Yuuri. Yuuri skated slightly backwards as Victor inched his way forward. Victor was bent at the waist, still struggling to find his balance.“How did you ever learn to do this?”Yuuri shrugged. “I started when I was young. And I had been practicing ballet for a long time prior to that. So my balance was already really good.”“What’s ballet?”Yuuri smiled. “It’s a type of dance. Ballet appears to be graceful, but it takes a lot more strength than most people realize. Originally, I started figure skating to help with my ballet. But, somewhere down the line, it flipped. Now, I continue ballet to help my skating.”“So you’re passion is skating?”“Mmm-hmm. I still love ballet, and I love dancing in general. But I love skating more. One day, I hope to compete at the international level.”Victor looked up. In the course of their conversation, they had covered over half of the rink. His eyes grew wide. I had forgotten that we were even moving. I was completely engrossed in what Yuuri was saying… Victor said, “I would like to see you dance sometime.”Yuuri smirked. “I’m not that good. Maybe we could find you a better example. Like Minako, my dance teacher…”“No, I want to see you dance.”Yuuri stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes moving down to the ice in front of his feet. He wants to see me dance? Why? I’m not that special… Victor managed to get his skates underneath him before he collided with Yuuri. He studied Yuuri’s face, confused by the expression he saw there. What is he thinking? Did I say something wrong? “Yuuri?”Yuuri looked up at Victor. “Hmm?”Victor asked tentatively, “Are you okay?” He resisted the urge to reach out and touch Yuuri. His fingers twitched with the effort. No, I can’t touch him. It would only hurt him. I can only hold his hands like this because of the gloves he’s wearing… Yuuri smiled. “I’m fine. I was just… thinking. That’s all.”Yuuri let go of Victor’s left hand. “Your balance is getting better. So let’s try skating like this for a while, next to each other. Okay?”Victor felt a slight pang in his chest at the loss of contact. What is wrong with me? We’re not even touching. Not really. There’s always at least a layer of cloth between us, for his safety.
So why do I feel this way?
***Several Months LaterYuuri hurried into Ice Castle, Mari close on his heels. She chuckled to herself. I don’t know what has caused it, but he seems so eager for practice these past few months. And his skating has improved immensely. Mari asked, “Hey, Yuuri. When is your first competition this year?”Yuuri turned back towards her. “Um, let’s see. The regionals are in September. This will be my first year in the senior division, so I don’t expect to do terribly well…”Mari smiled encouragingly. “Don’t say that. You’ve been working really hard on your routines. You’ve added two triples to your repertoire just in the past few months. I think you can do this.”Yuuri nodded. “Thanks, Mari.”Mari said, “I’ll be back in two hours to pick you up.”Yuuri scowled. “Mari, I’m seventeen. You don’t have to walk me home anymore.”Mari chuckled as she said, “I’m not so sure about that. Last time I left you here by yourself, you didn’t come home for five hours. If you train that long, you’ll hurt yourself.”Yuuri huffed in irritation. “I know my limits.”Mari reached over and ruffled his hair gently, despite his loud protests. “Just be careful, okay? Try not to overdo it.”Yuuri pushed Mari’s hand away as he nodded. “Okay, I’ll be careful. See you in two hours.”“Later, Yuuri.” Mari turned back towards the front door, pushing the door open to let herself out.Yuuri sighed heavily as he watched Mari walk out the front door and into the summer heat. She’s not wrong. And she has every reason to be concerned. If I really did train the entire time I stay here, I could hurt myself. But I can’t tell her why I really stay for hours after practice ends. Yuuri hurried towards the rink, waving at Yuuko as he sprinted past the counter. He pushed open the glass doors leading out onto the ice, and was greeted by a cold blast of air.And Victor’s smiling face. “Yuuri!”Yuuri smiled. Victor. I’m so glad that he decided to stay. But I hate the fact that he’s stuck in here, day in and day out. He has to be bored out of his mind… Yuuri sat down on one of the many benches near the entrance to the ice, pulling his skates out of his bag. Victor came and stood next to the boards, close to Yuuri. Yuuri said quietly, “Victor, how are you? Are you terribly bored here?”Victor smiled. “Actually, I had a really interesting day. My friend, Christophe, is here.”Yuuri started. “You… you have a friend?” Is there another person that can see you? I thought you said that I was the only one… Victor nodded. “Yes, Christophe is another elemental, like me. He’s an Amour spirit, so he’s free to go wherever he likes.” Victor huffed. “Honestly, I’m a little jealous…”A sultry voice said, “Now, don’t be like that, Victor.”Yuuri looked up in surprise. There was another man standing next to Victor, his arm slung casually over Victor’s shoulder. He can touch Victor. Really touch him. I think… I’m a little jealous too…Chris, taking in Yuuri’s shocked expression, purred, “Oh, dear. It seems we broke the poor boy.”Yuuri took a deep breath and said, “Sorry, you just caught me by surprise. Victor didn’t tell me that he had any other friends.”
I thought I was the only one. That I was special…
Although it only lasted for a moment, Victor saw the flash of disappointment in Yuuri’s eyes. “Yuuri, I’m sorry. I… haven’t seen Chris in years. His God keeps him pretty busy most of the time.”Yuuri nodded slowly, trying to ignore the strange stabbing pain in his chest. I don’t think that he kept Chris a secret on purpose… But it still hurts… Chris frowned slightly. It seems that my arrival has caused some strife. That won’t do. Time for me to lighten the mood. Chris smiled. “Let’s try again, shall we? I’m Christophe, Amour spirit. Servant to the God of Love, Árún. And it is an absolute pleasure to meet you.”Yuuri gulped. “Katsuki Yuuri.”“Any friend of Victor’s is a friend of mine, Yuuri.” Chris winked and patted Yuuri gently on the shoulder.Yuuri blushed all the way to his ears at the contact. “Um, yeah. Likewise…”He tried to hide his embarrassment by shoving his feet into his skates. He tightened the laces as he said, “I have to practice now. Watch me, Victor?”Victor smiled. “Always.”Yuuri smiled broadly as he took of his blade guards and stepped off onto the ice. He began to skate laps around the rink to warm up.“Why didn’t you tell him about me, Victor?”Victor shrugged. “Honestly, I forgot. It has been a few years since I last saw you, and I was so lonely when Yuuri found me…”Chris rolled his eyes. “You and your memory…”Victor scowled. “I know.”Chris watched Yuuri warm up, his skates flying across the ice as he practiced figures. Chris leaned up against the boards as his eyes followed the teen.“He’s really talented. Too talented to stay here, in this tiny little town.”Victor nodded. “I think so, too. I’ve watched a lot of people skate over the years, but he’s much more talented than anyone else I’ve ever seen.”Chris smiled. I think you might be a bit biased, but… “If Yuuri wants to compete, at an international level, he’ll have to move soon. Go train somewhere else. Luckily for you, most of the really good coaches are in areas that are naturally colder.”Victor said, “That doesn’t matter.”Chris raised an eyebrow in question as he turned his head to look at Victor. “You’ve been stuck inside this rink for months. I would be bored out of my skull. How can you say that it doesn’t matter?”Victor rested his elbow on the boards and held his head in the palm of his hand. “Do you see that, Chris? Once a day, for two hours, I get to watch him. Sometimes we talk after, sometimes not. Sometimes, if I’m really lucky, we skate together after his practice is done. But every day, I get to watch Yuuri make music with his skates.”“I wouldn’t trade it for the world…”Chris shook his head. He’s got it bad. And he has no idea. Chris gently patted the back of Victor’s shoulder. When he removed his hand, a small snowflake mark remained behind on Victor’s skin.
My dear friend, you’re in love. You just don’t know it yet.
***Later That DayYuuri sighed as he entered the onsen. It has been a very, very long day. What was the deal with that other elemental? What was his name? Christophe? Yuuri huffed in frustration. I can’t believe that Victor never told me about him. I’m not jealous…
Am I?
Yuuri sighed. I am. I’m jealous of their relationship. Of the fact that they can touch each other without Victor hurting Christophe. I wish…
I wish I could have that too.
Yuuri shook his head as he climbed the stairs to his room. I shouldn’t even care. Victor is just my friend, right? Nothing more. So it shouldn’t matter that he can’t touch me.
I’m sure that Victor doesn’t feel anything towards me but friendship, anyway. How could he? He’s an elemental, right? They live for such a long time. And me, I’m only human.
Yuuri groaned as he reached his bedroom door. He opened it slowly. I can’t…
I can’t fall for him. We can’t be together.
Yuuri sighed as he opened the door and stepped inside. He closed the door slowly and allowed himself to sink down to the floor. He clutched the fabric of his shirt above his chest. It hurts. Knowing how I feel about him, and knowing that it’s impossible…
What am I going to do?
***A Week LaterYuuri ran into the changing room. My lesson starts in 10 minutes. If I don’t hurry, I won’t have time to say hello to Victor before I start warming up. He pulled his shirt over his head and stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of something on his shoulder. What in the world is that? Yuuri turned around and looked over his shoulder into the large mirror. That is a weird mark… How long has that been there? On his left shoulder, Yuuri could see a strange mark in the shape of a snowflake. He twisted around until he managed to run his fingers over the mark. It’s not raised, and it doesn’t look like a sore or a wound. I just wish I knew what caused it in the first place. It’s such an odd mark. Yuuri shook his head in confusion. I guess if it seems to get worse, that I should get it checked? But no one has mentioned it to me. And living in an onsen, it isn’t like people don’t see me shirtless on a fairly regular basis. Surely someone would have mentioned it by now…
Unless this has something to do with Victor? What if no one else can see it?
Yuuri chuckled. “That’s ridiculous. I’m sure there’s a simple, logical explanation for that mark.”Yuuri glanced at the clock on the wall. But I’ll have to worry about it later. I’m really going to be late!

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The Following AprilYuuri rushed into Ice Castle, his face awash with excitement. Yuuko, from her position behind the counter, said, “Yuuri! I just heard the news! Congratulations!”Yuuri smiled happily. “Thank you, Yuuko! I can’t hardly believe it. A coach like that… interested in me!”“And it couldn’t have happened at a better time for you. Since you just finished high school.”Yuuri grinned. “I know. This means that I’ll be able to start college in the fall, with everyone else.”Yuuko asked, “So, are still going to practice here?”Yuuri nodded as he shifted his gear bag further up his shoulder. “Yes, I’m not leaving for Detroit for a few more weeks. Coach Cialdini wants me there by the end of May, to start pre-season training.”Yuuko gestured towards the rink. “Well, the ice is all yours, Yuuri.”Yuuri grinned as he opened the door to the rink. He searched the rink for Victor, nearly vibrating with excitement. “Victor! I have great news!”Victor was lounging across one of the benches near the entrance when Yuuri rushed in. He sat up at the sound of Yuuri’s voice. It must be good. He sounds really excited. Yuuri sat down next to Victor. His eyes were bright with excitement and there was a grin on his face. “You’ll never guess what happened.”Victor chuckled lightly. “Then I guess that you’ll just have to tell me.”Yuuri said, “So, you know that exhibition I went to a few weeks ago? In Tokyo?”Victor nodded. I used my teleportation magic to go. I… didn’t tell him I was going. But I just wanted to watch him perform, just once… Yuuri blurted out, “A big coach in America saw the footage. He said that I have potential. He wants me to move to Detroit and train with him!”Victor grinned widely. “That’s great, Yuuri! This is your big chance!”Uncertainty was clear in his voice when Yuuri asked, “Does this mean…?”Victor’s eyes went wide in shock. No… He couldn’t possibly think about giving up this amazing opportunity because of me. But… I’ve never told him… Victor’s sighed, “I can teleport anywhere I want. As long as the destination is cold enough...”Yuuri was silent for a moment. He took in a deep breath and let it out. “So, does that mean that you leave Hasetsu when…”Victor shook his head. “No, I don’t. The magic is draining. I only use it when I have to.” He looked directly into Yuuri’s eyes. “When I said that I would stay here, I meant it.”“And that means you can follow me to Detroit?”“Yes.”“Will you?”Victor breathed, “Of course.”***A Month LaterThe rink in Detroit was vastly different from Ice Castle. The lights were brighter. The air felt different. The rink itself was bigger, and boasted stadium seating. Victor often sat in the hard plastic seats as he watched Yuuri move around the rink. He smiled.
This was a good move for Yuuri. His skating has improved so much already. Coach Celestino is just what Yuuri needed to get him to the next level.

And it doesn’t really matter which rink I spend the summer in. The routine is the same regardless. At night, I smooth the ice for them. The night crew never knows, and the morning crew thinks that the night crew ran the zamboni before they left.

Then, I sleep. I really don’t need to sleep, but at least it helps to pass the time…
Early morning light shined in from the massive windows near the ceiling. The rink was silent. Victor sighed, and the sound echoed off of the ice. There is so little for me to do, when I’m stuck like this in the rink. But, at least here, it should cool off sooner. Instead of waiting for that brief three month window where I can be outside in Hasetsu, I should be able to be outside here for many months. Victor smiled. I can hardly wait. I will get to spend months with Yuuri. And more than just the few hours that I get at the rink… The automatic door leading from the main part of the complex opened behind him. Victor’s smile broadened. He called out, “Yuuri!”Yuuri answered, “Victor. I wanted to see you, before all of the other students come in. Some of them have started to notice me talking to ‘thin air’... I think some of them are concerned that my move from Japan has made me unstable…”Victor chuckled. “I can understand that. But what about that one kid? Phichit, is it? He seems to follow you around a lot. Has he said anything?”Yuuri shook his head. “No. I think that he might actually believe me if I told him.”“Then why don’t you?”Yuuri shrugged. “I don’t know. What if… what if he doesn’t believe me? He’s one of the only skaters that has been friendly with me since I arrived. Maybe because we’re both Asian, and a long way from home and our families? I don’t want to ruin it.”A voice behind him asked, “Yuuri?”Yuuri jumped. He turned around, to find Phichit standing directly behind him. Yuuri sighed. Victor, did you do this on purpose? Phichit said, “What is it that you’re afraid to tell me? I promise, whatever it is, I’ll hear you out. And it won’t cost you my friendship.”Yuuri took a deep breath. Should I tell him? Can I tell him? I don’t think that he’ll believe me… But at this point, I either have to tell him, or lie to him outright. Yuuri said, “This is going to sound crazy…”“Just spill it.”Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m… not really sure where to start… And I know that it sounds really far fetched. But, I see spirits? And there’s one in particular that I see often. His name is Victor. And he’s an ice spirit. But no one else can see him…”Phichit closed his eyes for a moment as he said slowly, “So you’re telling me that you see spirits…” He smiled as he opened his eyes. “Okay. I can believe that. My granny always said that she saw things, too. When I was younger, I was afraid that I would inherit her gift. Sometimes, I swear I see things, out of the corner of my eyes…”Yuuri sighed in relief. He believes me… I can hardly believe it. Victor grinned. “I had a feeling that he would believe you.” There have been a few times that I swear he almost saw me. He would turn and stare right at me… Phichit asked, “What is Victor like?”Yuuri said, “He appears to be fairly young, like maybe in his twenties?”Phichit’s brow furrowed. “Do spirits age? How old is he really?”Yuuri shrugged. “He doesn’t know.”“How can he not know? Has he been around so long that he lost count of the years or something?”Yuuri shook his head. “No, about twenty five years ago something happened to him. He lost all of his memories…”Phichit whistled. “Whoa. I wonder what happened. Has he ever told you?”“No, he doesn’t even know himself. And he doesn’t know who to ask about it.”“Poor guy…”Yuuri glanced over at Victor. “Yea, but he’s come to terms with it.”Victor gave Yuuri a small nod and a smile. There’s nothing that I can do about my memories. And he’s right, I have no clue who I could talk to about what happened. Chris doesn’t know, and whatever goddess that I belong to has never spoken to me. Not since that day…
… I must have done something terrible…
Phichit said, “I feel bad talking about him like this. He’s nearby, right?”Yuuri nodded. “Yes, he’s right there.” Yuuri pointed towards the chair where Victor was sitting.Phichit turned towards the chair. “Hello, Victor. I’m Phichit. I’m sorry that I can’t see you.”Victor chuckled a little. “Tell him that I said it’s okay. It’s not like it’s his fault.”Yuuri smiled. “He said it’s okay, Phichit.”Phichit thought for a moment. He asked, “What color is Victor’s hair? I know it sounds like an odd question, but…”Yuuri replied, “It’s silver. Why?”Phichit’s eyes widened. “I’ve been seeing some strange things lately… Like the lights were glinting off something silver. But when I go and check, there was never anything there…”Yuuri glanced at Victor. “You don’t think, do you?”Victor shrugged. “It’s a distinct possibility. If you can see me, there must be others that can too. It’s possible that he might develop the ability.”
I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t be glad. Even with Yuuri coming and spending hours here every day, it gets lonely. If there was another person that could see me…
Phichit shrugged. “But that’s silly, right? There’s no way that I would develop the sight just like that.”Yuuri said, “I didn’t see Victor until I was 16. And according to him, he had been hanging around Hasetsu during the winter for years prior to that. Odds are that I would have seen him before that. Unless…”Phichit groaned. “Don’t tell me things like this. I don’t need to develop Granny’s sight. I just want to be normal.”Yuuri chuckled. “I think it may be too late to hope for normal.”Phichit grimaced. “You’re probably right. Great, now I have something else to look forward to…”Victor chuckled. Poor kid. Life can be hard enough, without having to deal with stuff like this. But, we don’t know for sure. He might be normal. Just a quick flash every once in a while. Yuuri said, “Try not to worry about it too much. It might not even happen. We don’t know for sure yet. You might still be normal.”Phichit sighed dejectedly. “No, I’m afraid that you might be right. It fits too well. I should just prepare myself for the worst…”Victor said, “He’s acting like seeing us would be the worst thing in the world. We’re not evil. It’s not like we would hurt him.”Phichit said, “I know that. But…”Phichit gasped, his eyes growing wide. He yelled, “Oh my God, that was him, wasn’t it?!?”Yuuri nodded. I guess it is too late for him to be ‘normal’. At least now I’ll have someone to talk to, who will believe me. But he still can’t… Victor asked, “You can hear me?”Phichit nodded. “Clear as a bell.”“But you can’t see me.”“Nope.”Victor rested his finger on his chin. “Hmm, this is curious. I didn’t think that it was possible for someone to hear me, but not see me. But, then again, before Yuuri I didn’t even know that humans could interact with spirits at all…”Yuuri asked, “What does this mean?”Phichit said, “That is an excellent question.”Victor shrugged. “And not one that I can answer.” He cocked his head slightly to the side and tapped his temple with his finger. “Memory loss, remember? Even if I knew the answer once, I don’t remember it anymore…”Phichit sighed. “Great. Not only am I weird, but I’m a special kind of weird…”Yuuri shrugged, “Maybe you’ll be able to see Victor eventually?”Phichit smirked. “Sure. I’ll just look forward to that.”Yuuri patted Phichit on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get some figures in before Celestino gets here. That will make you feel better.”Phichit groaned. “Figures? How are they going to make me feel better, Yuuri? Figures are so boring…”“Just come on. Being on the ice will help. And if you’re warmed up before Celestino arrives, at least he won’t yell at you, right?”Phichit shrugged in defeat. “I guess you’re right. Let’s go.”***A Few Months Later“I want to do something nice for Victor.”Phichit looked up from his phone. “Huh? What brought this on?”Yuuri shrugged as he walked towards the couch. “I don’t know. I just feel bad that he’s always stuck at the rink. I just thought it would be nice. You know, do something for him as a way to say thank you?”Phichit grinned. “Did you have something in mind?”Yuuri sighed. “It’s stupid…”“I’m sure it’s not. Spill it.”Yuuri sat down heavily on the couch next to Phichit. “Um, so he told me once that he would like to see me dance. The problem is, he can’t exactly go into a dance studio.”“And you can’t really dance at the rink.”Yuuri nodded. “Exactly. So for the past year or so, I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out how I can manage it. And then, I remembered that you have a smartphone…”“Yuuri, if you wanted me to record you dancing, all you had to do was ask.”Yuuri sighed. “I know. That was why I went ahead and choreographed a routine. Do you have time in the next few days?”Phichit nodded. “Honestly, I’d like to see this, too. You said that you’ve been in ballet since you were a kid? I bet you’re really good.”Yuuri blushed slightly. “I’m not that good.”“Come on, Yuuri. Stop being so modest. It is okay to be good at something, you know?”Yuuri groaned as he allowed his head to fall back and rest on the back of the couch. “I know. I just… don’t have a lot of faith in my abilities. I can’t help it.”Phichit nodded. “I’ve noticed that you do the same thing with skating.”“I know. My anxiety just gets to me, I guess.”
And then I start thinking things like how Victor would be better off without a loser like me. That he should go and find someone else that can see him. Maybe even another elemental that can touch him, like I’ll never be able to. He deserves better than me.

But I’m selfish, I guess. I want him to stay. I know that eventually he’ll leave. But I want him to stay for as long as possible. These feelings, they are so strong that they hurt. I don’t want him to leave. I wish that I could be with him. But I know that will never happen…
Phichit’s voice interrupted Yuuri’s thoughts. “Yuuri? Are you okay? You got quiet all of a sudden.”Yuuri sighed. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”Phichit nodded. About Victor, I have no doubt. Do you even know how gone you are on him? He sighed. I bet you do. And knowing you, you’re ignoring those feelings. You probably think he deserves better. Yuuri… you should just tell him.
Too bad you wouldn’t listen even if I told you that.
***A Few Days LaterYuuri checked his watch as he pulled open the door leading into the rink. Good, it looks like I have enough time before practice. The cool, icy air of the rink hit his face. He smiled slightly as he scanned the stands. Spotting Victor, he waved cheerfully and called out, “Victor! I have a surprise for you!”His voice echoed around the empty rink. Victor grinned. A surprise? For me? What could he possibly have? Yuuri ran up the stands to where Victor was seated. Yuuri said, “Just give me a minute, I need to set it up, okay?”Victor nodded. “Do I need to close my eyes?”Yuuri shook his head as he set down his training bag. He unzipped the bag and pulled out a silver laptop. Yuuri sat down in the seat next to Victor and opened the laptop, waking it from sleep mode.Victor asked, “What is that thing?”“It’s a laptop. It’s a type of computer. It’s used for all kinds of things. I brought it today so that I could show you a video.”“What’s a video?”Yuuri thought for a moment. “You know how sometimes Coach Celestino uses that black thing and follows my movements with it?” Victor nodded. “Well, that’s a camera. He uses it to record my skating, and then later we can watch the recording, or video.”Victor muttered quietly, “Wow…”Yuuri smiled. “Phichit’s phone can do that, too. And I convinced him to record me.”“Doing what?”“Dancing.”Victor gasped slightly. He remembered? That was so long ago. I can’t believe that he remembered that I wanted to see him dance… Yuuri pulled up the video in his media player app. He made sure that the sound was turned up on his laptop and asked, “Are you ready, Victor?”Victor nodded. “Absolutely.”Yuuri hit play. The video started off grainy, but came into focus quickly. It was an empty dance studio. Faintly, from off screen, Yuuri said, “Thanks again for doing this, Phichit.”Phichit’s voice, loud behind the camera, replied, “No problem, man. I like doing this kind of thing.”“This better not end up on YouTube, Phichit.”“Aww, Yuuri… You’re no fun.”Yuuri appeared from off screen, dressed in a black leotard and black leggings. Phichit whistled. “Dude, you look hot.”“Stop it, Phichit.”“No man, really! You look good!”“Whatever. Just start the music, please.” Yuuri took his opening pose.There was a loud sigh from behind the camera. Music started to play. Yuuri started to move slowly in time with the music. The movements were graceful and flowing. Yuuri moved with an almost ethereal grace. Victor watched, enraptured. So this is where he gets those moves he uses on the ice. The music continued. Yuuri lowered himself to the floor into a perfect split. Phichit whistled in reaction, but stayed silent. Yuuri held the position, but leaned backwards with his arms over his head. Then he spun out of the split, rising to conclude the routine with a few jumps and spins.Phichit commented, “Dude, that was awesome. You gotta teach me that. It would be killer for my routines.”Yuuri grinned. “I could try, but I’ve been dancing since I was six. I don’t know how much I could teach you.” Yuuri looked directly into the camera. “Um, Phichit? Are you still recording? You can turn it off now…”The video ended.Yuuri looked expectantly at Victor. “Um, what did you think?”Victor was speechless for a moment. I thought that his ice skating was spectacular. I… I don’t have the words to describe this… “Yuuri, that was amazing. I wish I could have seen it in person.” And I have to agree with Phichit, you did look great in that outfit. Too bad it is too cold for you to wear it in here… Yuuri blushed as he looked away. “It wasn’t that great. My teacher in Japan was much better than I could ever be. I can’t even dance en pointe. Well, technically I chose not to learn cause of figure skating…”Victor interrupted him. “I loved it, Yuuri. I loved that you thought to do this. I loved that you showed it to me, that you danced for me.”Victor smiled. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Yuuri.”Yuuri smiled back. “You’re welcome, Victor. I hope that, some day, I can dance for you for real. No cameras or laptops.”“I look forward to it.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Three Years Later
Early December
Yuuri’s breath left him in tiny white huffs as he hurried towards the park in the frigid cold. He was bundled up in a heavy winter coat, his hands stuffed into warm gloves. There was a knit beanie pulled over his head and ears, and a blue scarf around his neck. Yuuri still shivered from the cold.

I never have become accustomed to the cold here during the winter. But I don’t mind being cold, as long as it means that I can spend time with him.

He said that he would be waiting next to that large oak tree.

Yuuri smiled as he continued to hurry towards their normal meeting place in the park near his apartment.

I’m glad that I’ll get to spend some time with him today. It is a lot easier during the winter, when I don’t have to invent excuses to hang around the ice rink after practice.

I wish I could tell him how I really feel. But, that’s not fair to him. There’s no way that he feels the same way. We’re just friends, and I will have to accept that.

At least I can still spend time with him. That will be enough, right?

Yuuri smiled widely, his eyes sparkling in excitement, as he caught sight of the large oak tree. He could see Victor standing with his back to the tree, waiting patiently. Yuuri called out to Victor, his face flushed with the cold.
Victor’s face lit up when he saw Yuuri hurrying towards him.

He was so excited about today. He said he had a surprise for me. I wonder what Yuuri has planned?

Victor grinned.

It doesn’t matter what we do. I love spending time with Yuuri. I just wish… I wish that I could really be with him. That I could touch him as easily as his friend does. But I can’t… not without causing him pain.

I can’t tell him how I feel. It would be unfair to him. Asking him to stay with someone that he can’t touch? That no one else can even see? No, I can’t do that to him. So I’ll keep silent, and try to be content with the way things are.

Victor chuckled as he took in Yuuri’s bundled up appearance. “How can someone that ice skates for hours at a time be so cold? Shouldn’t you be accustomed to it?”Yuuri glared at Victor. “Just because you don’t feel the cold doesn’t mean that you should make fun of me for it. And it is different, you know that.” He grumbled, “If you’re going to be like this, I’ll just go back to my apartment, where it’s warm…”Victor reached out and took Yuuri’s hand. “No, please don’t. I’m sorry.”“I wouldn’t.”
Victor smiled warmly.

I didn’t think he would actually leave…

Yuuri sighed. “Detroit is a lot colder than Hasetsu, so it has been hard for me to adjust to it. But it’s better for you. The cold means more time outside, and less time stuck in the rink. Summers have to be terribly boring for you.”Victor shook his head. “I don’t mind. There are a lot of skaters to watch, since Celestino trains all of his skaters there. Plus, open hours can be entertaining.” He chuckled. “Watching new skaters as they attempt to skate for the first time…”Yuuri smirked. “Like you were any better when you first tried?”“At least I didn’t fall.”“Only because I held your hand the entire time.”“That’s true…” Victor shrugged before he asked, “What did you want to do today?”
Yuuri smiled. “One of the churches nearby is having a Christmas festival. It’s different from what we do in Japan…”

In Japan, Christmas is for couples… Stop that, Yuuri. Now is not the time to think about that.

Yuuri shook his head slightly. “But I thought it might be fun?”Victor smiled. “That sounds great. Are you ready to go?”Yuuri nodded. “Let’s go, before it gets too crowded.”***
An hour later

Yuuri held Victor’s hand loosely as they wandered through the booths of the Christmas festival. Clear Christmas lights were strung above the booths, giving the festival a warm glow. Yuuri sipped carefully from a cup of hot chocolate. He smiled.

This night has been so perfect. The only thing that would make it better would be…

If it was a real date.

Victor asked, “Still cold, Yuuri?”“A little. The hot chocolate helps.”
Victor smiled. “Good. If you get too cold, tell me. We’ll go back so you can warm up.”

I don’t want you to get sick because you stayed out here with me too long.

Victor asked, “When is your next competition?”
Yuuri answered, “All-Japan is coming up near the end of December. I’ll be gone for that during Christmas. Sorry that I’ll be leaving you all alone.”

Again. I’m always gone for Nationals during Christmas.

Victor shook his head. “That’s okay. Your competitions are important. And if you do well at this one, that means that you can go to other competitions, right?”Yuuri nodded. “If I can manage at least a silver medal, I can go to the Four Continents and the World Championships.”
Victor sighed wistfully. “I wish I could watch you compete.”

I can’t go without asking him first. It seemed so wrong the first time that I did it, so I’ve avoided it ever since. But he’s never asked me to go…

“I wish you could, too. It would help knowing there was someone in the crowd rooting for me. Even though I’m sure that Mari and Minako will manage to make it.”
Victor started.

He wants me to come? He knows that I could, right? Or has he forgotten?

Victor asked hesitantly, “Do you mean that? That you want me to go to your competition?”
Yuuri sighed, his breath coming out in a little white puff. “I know. It’s impossible…”“No, it’s not.”Yuuri stopped, turning towards Victor. “What do you mean?”Victor smiled. “Have you forgotten that I can teleport? I thought I was the one with the sketchy memory.”Yuuri blushed slightly. “You just never mention it, and you’ve never been to one of my competitions before, or really shown interest in going. So…”
Victor bit his lip as he thought.

Of course he would forget. I never told him about that exhibition I went to. And I told him before that using teleportation magic was draining, so it isn’t something that I can use all of the time. I’m not like Chris; he can flit around to his heart’s content.

Victor smiled as he reached out and gently touched Yuuri’s gloved hand. He said softly, “If you want me to go, I would be delighted to watch you compete at the All-Japan Championships.”Yuuri grasped Victor’s hand tightly as he nodded. “Yes, I want you to be there. I’ll do my best to win the gold for you.”***Late December
All-Japan ChampionshipsThe rink was empty, the crew responsible for setting up for the event having left hours before. Victor materialized suddenly on the ice, gasping for breath. His hands were shaking violently. He staggered to the wall and allowed himself to slide to the ice. Victor rested his head in his hands and concentrated on taking deep breaths.

Gods, I forgot how bad the exhaustion is right after I use teleportation magic. It has been so long since I attempted to go anywhere.

I hope that Yuuri doesn’t see me like this…

Victor lifted his head from his hands, allowing it to fall back against the wall.

I don’t think he would understand. I told him that the magic was draining. But if he had known how bad it really is, I think he would have told me not to come. Hopefully, by the time he comes for practice tomorrow, I will be better.

If he knows the truth, he won’t let me come with him again.

***
The Next Day
Yuuri zipped up his warm-up jacket and walked out of the dressing room. Celestino met him outside. “Yuuri, this is just open practice today. The competition doesn’t start until tomorrow. So stick to triples only. There’s no point in trying the quads, and possibly hurting yourself.”Yuuri nodded. “Yes, Coach Celestino.”Celestino carefully eyed Yuuri. “How are you feeling? Nervous?”
Yuuri nodded. “A little. This isn’t my first time at All-Japan, but it is the first time that people have expected me to do well? It is a bit overwhelming…”

And it is the first time that Victor will get to see me compete.

Celestino nodded. “Just remember the calming techniques we went over. Make sure to keep those ear buds in at all times during the competition, and don’t watch or listen to the other competitors before your skate. Hopefully we’ll get lucky and you’ll pull a late number this year.”
“I hope so. It always seems to go a little better if I can go in the last group.”

But it will be my luck that I’ll pull the first position. Like last year.

Yuuri sighed and straightened his spine.

There’s no time to think about that now. The drawing will be this evening, so there is no point in dwelling on it. I need to concentrate on my practice today. So that I can do the best that I can tomorrow.

The change in temperature was gradual at rinks like this. There was no glass door separating the skaters’ area from the main rink. Only a tunnel leading out to the ice. Yuuri scanned the rink for Victor. His eyes caught a glimpse of his silver hair, reflecting the lights of the rink. Yuuri sucked in a small breath.

God, he looks awful. Is this because he used the teleportation magic? I didn’t know that it would be that hard on him… I should have never asked him to come.

Yuuri could feel the heat of tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He shook his head violently.

No, I don’t have time to be like this. Victor knew what this would do to him. He chose to come anyway.

He wanted to see me compete so badly that he was willing to put himself through this…

Yuuri took a steadying breath as he took off his skate guards, handing them to Celestino before he stepped onto the ice.

I can’t let this affect me. I have to skate my best. I need to win, for Victor.

I can’t ask him to do this ever again.

***
An Hour Later
Celestino handed Yuuri his skate guards. Yuuri slipped them over the blades and stepped off of the ice. Celestino clapped his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Good practice today, Yuuri. Keep that up, and you have a good shot at the gold.”Yuuri smiled shyly. “Do you really think so?”Celestino nodded. “Of course. All of your elements were flawless, and you seemed comfortable on the ice today. Try not to let your nerves get to you, okay? And get a good night’s sleep tonight after the drawing.”Yuuri nodded. He asked tentatively, “Do you think it would be okay if I stayed and watched the others practice?”
Celestino chuckled. “Studying the competition? I don’t see why not, it

is

open practice. Just don’t stay too long, I don’t want you psyching yourself out.”
Yuuri nodded. “Yes, Coach.”Celestino watched as Yuuri carefully walked back to the changing room. He mumbled, “I wonder what that was about. He never wants to watch the other skaters before a competition.”Celestino shrugged. “I guess he has his reasons. I just hope that it doesn’t affect his skating tomorrow.”
Yuuri hurried to the changing room and stripped out of his skates. He carefully dried the boots and blades, despite his hurry.

Victor isn’t going anywhere, and open practice is all afternoon. And I can’t afford to ruin my skates.

Yuuri placed his skates in his bag and stuffed his feet into his shoes. Then he picked up his gear bag and hurried into the stands to find Victor.
He scanned the stands quickly, looking in the direction where he had spied Victor before his practice. Victor was still there, his head in his hands.

He looks bad. Really bad. I should not have asked him to come.

Why is this magic so hard on him? Why does he even have it, if it has this kind of effect on him?

Yuuri shook his head as he made his way towards Victor. He adjusted his gloves, making sure that the cuffs met the sleeves of his shirt. Yuuri stopped in front of Victor, setting his bag down on the floor.“Victor.”
Victor looked up.

Yuuri. I was hoping that I would be better before he came today. But I forgot just how much the teleportation spell takes out of me. I might not even be able to go back to Detroit when it comes time for Yuuri to leave…

“Victor, why did you do this to yourself?”Victor shook his head. “I…”Yuuri knelt down in front of Victor. He reached out and gently cupped Victor’s cheek. “If you had told me that it would be this hard on you, I would not have asked you to come.”“I wanted to come.”Yuuri sighed. “I know.”
Victor looked up at Yuuri. Yuuri hissed in a breath. Victor’s eyes were dull with fatigue, and there were terrible dark circles under them. Yuuri fought to keep his tears at bay at the sight.

Victor, I’m so sorry. I should never have asked you to come.

Yuuri cleared his throat. “How long?”“Hmm?”
Yuuri resisted the urge to sigh in frustration. “How long will it take you to recover?”

I’ve never seen him like this, so I don’t know what to expect…

Victor closed his eyes for a moment as he thought.

The last time I used the teleportation magic was when we moved to Detroit. And prior to that, it was the exhibition in Tokyo. That I never told him I attended. I still don’t know how I managed to get away with that one.

Victor opened his eyes. “Last time, it took a few days for me to recover. But I wasn’t trying to teleport again so quickly. I think it may take me a week or more before I can try to go back to Detroit.”
Yuuri took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Ok… Please, don’t try to go back until you are better?”

I don’t want to think about what might happen if he tried to use that magic again too soon. Could he… die?

Yuuri felt a tear slip down his face at the thought.

He only did this for me. I’m so selfish. Did he even really want to come? Or did he only agree because he thought I wanted it?

Victor felt a stab of pain in his heart as a tear worked its way down Yuuri’s cheek. “No, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I’ll be okay. I just need some rest.”
Victor reached out to wipe the tear from Yuuri’s cheek. He stopped short, snatching his hand back quickly.

No, what am I doing? I almost hurt him. Again.

Gods, why am I so selfish? I shouldn’t have come. Now he’ll be so concerned about me that he won’t be able to perform well.

If I cost him the competition, I don’t think I could live with myself.

Yuuri reached up and wiped the tear from his cheek. He smiled weakly as he covered Victor’s hand with his own. “Can you promise me something?”Victor grasped Yuuri’s hand, holding it tightly. “Anything.”Yuuri leaned in closer. “When I skate tomorrow, don’t take your eyes off me?”“Never.”***
A Few Days Later

The silver medal hung heavy around Yuuri’s neck. He could feel tears at the corners of his eyes.

I wanted to win the gold for Victor. I wanted him to feel like his sacrifice was worth it.

But I’m just not good enough…

Yuuri slumped into one of the hard plastic chairs that lined the rink. He rubbed at his eyes roughly, trying to stop his tears.

I’m being ridiculous. Silver is really good, and it means that I get to go to the Four Continents and the World Championships. But I was so close…

If I only had more quads, or if my jumps were more stable… I would have won.

“Yuuri?”Yuuri looked up at the sound of Victor’s concerned voice. Victor’s eyes went wide. “Have you been crying? Why? I thought second place was good?”
Yuuri nodded. “It is. But I really wanted to win gold…”

Since this is the only time that you’ll be able to see me compete.

Yuuri studied Victor’s face. The delicate skin under his eyes was still dark, his eyes still missing their distinctive sparkle.

He still looks so worn out. I fly back to Detroit in two days. But, he won’t be ready to leave yet, will he?

Victor knelt down in front of Yuuri. He reached out and grasped the silver medal. He brought the medal to his lips, kissing it gently. Yuuri looked at Victor in surprise.
Victor placed the medal gently back on Yuuri’s chest. “I’m so happy that I got to see you compete, Yuuri.”

I only wish that I could kiss you. Kissing the medal is just not the same…

Yuuri blushed furiously. “Umm, yeah… Me too.”

Did it suddenly get warmer in here? He has no idea, does he? How it affects me when he does things like that…

Victor sighed. “How much time will you get to spend here tomorrow?”Yuuri shrugged. “I’m not really sure? We’ll have practice for the Gala tomorrow night, and then the performance. This is my first time on the podium at this competition, so I’m not sure what all I have to do…”
Victor sighed dejectedly.

Not long enough, then. And he’ll spend a majority of the time involved in practice, and the media circus that surrounds these competitions. And then the next day, he’ll be on a plane back to Detroit.

And I’ll still be here, alone. Until I have the strength to return.

Yuuri reached out towards Victor, stopping short when he realized he was still in his skating costume, and gloveless.

I can’t even comfort him like this. I’m worthless. Victor deserves so much better than me. It is selfish of me to keep him close to me.

Yuuri looked down, away from Victor.

I’m going to have to face the facts. Eventually, I will have to let Victor go.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A Few Months LaterPhichit opened the door to his and Yuuri’s apartment. He sighed heavily when he noticed Yuuri sitting on the couch. Yuuri had his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms were crossed over his knees, and his cheek was resting on his arms.
Yuuri looks like he is on the verge of tears. Again. He’s been moping around the apartment for days. I can’t get him to talk about it, and he’s driving me nuts!
Phichit flopped down on the couch, turning his body towards Yuuri. “Okay, spill it.”“Huh?”“Something is bothering you. So just tell me already.”Yuuri lifted his head off of his arms, turning to look at Phichit. His eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I don’t know what to do…”“About what?”“Victor.”“Ah. The weather is getting warmer.”Yuuri nodded sadly. “I’ve put it off as long as I can… I have to make a decision. Either Victor will need to move into the rink for the summer, or…”“You’re not really considering that, are you?”Yuuri leaned his head back against the back of the couch. “He looked awful at All-Japan. I shouldn’t have asked him to come. And when he got back…”Tears rolled unchecked down Yuuri’s cheek as he whispered, “He was so weak, for so long. I… I thought that he might die…”Phichit reached out and touched Yuuri’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “What are you going to do?”Yuuri choked out, “I think… I need to tell him… goodbye…”Phichit went still. What? From everything that Yuuri and Victor have told me over the years, meeting each other was the best thing to happen to either one of them. How could Yuuri possibly think of ending it all? “I’m afraid that, if he stays, Victor will end up dying because of me. I can’t…”Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “I have to let him go, for his own good. So I’m going to do it. Tomorrow, I’m going to tell Victor goodbye.”Phichit gathered up Yuuri as he burst into heart-wrenching sobs. Yuuri… Victor has been such an important part of your life for so long. Why are you doing this to yourself? To him? Is this really the best decision?
I can’t stop him. I’m not even sure that it would be for the best in the long run. Maybe Yuuri is right? Maybe Victor should leave, and forget about Yuuri? Go somewhere where he doesn’t have to stay cooped up in an ice rink for half a year?

But would anyone else see him like Yuuri does? And will Yuuri ever get over Victor?
Phichit sighed as he gently moved Yuuri’s head to rest on his shoulder more comfortably. I guess that all I can do is be here for him, and try to pick up the broken pieces after it is all said and done. ***The Next DayYuuri dragged his feet as he walked towards the park. The weather was mild, and Yuuri’s hands felt too warm in his gloves. It’s getting warmer. I should have done this long before now. Yuuri took a deep, shuddering breath as he walked closer to their tree. I don’t want to do this. But I think it would be best for both of us. Victor was standing, leaning back against the large oak tree. Yuuri felt his heart clench at the sight of him. His heart ached at the thought of what he was about to do. He’s my best friend… And I think…
I’m in love with him…

Which is why I can’t ask him to do this anymore.
Yuuri could feel tears burning behind his eyes. He closed them tightly, and took slow, steady breaths. Come on, Yuuri. You can do this. It is the best thing that you can do for him. Victor would never leave on his own. But I can’t ask him to stay, just because of me. Not anymore. Victor glanced over towards Yuuri and started at the sight. He looks like he’s going to cry. What’s wrong with him? “Yuuri, are you okay?”Yuuri shook his head sadly. He whispered softly, “No…”Victor moved to stand in front of Yuuri. He took Yuuri’s gloved hands in his own and said, “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”A tear fell from Yuuri’s eye as he choked out, “Let’s end this…”“… What…?”Yuuri cried, “Victor, this is not fair to you. I can’t ask you to do this anymore…”Victor felt his heart shatter. “No, Yuuri. Please… please don’t send me away.”Yuuri felt his breath hitch as he sobbed out, “This is for the best. For both of us.”Yuuri gently caressed Victor’s cheek with his gloved hand. “I’m sorry, Victor. Try to forget me.”Yuuri backed away from Victor, tears falling freely from his eyes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But this is for the best. This, whatever it was, was temporary. You won’t hurt forever. I hope that your Gods are kind and allow you to forget me. I know I’ll never forget you. “Goodbye, Victor.”***Later That EveningVictor was curled up on the ground, his knees pulled up tight into his chest. His heart ached, the events from the day playing on repeat in his mind. Victor squeezed his eyes shut, but the tears still forced their way out of his eyes, only to freeze on his cheeks.
All I ever wanted was for someone to see me. And now that Yuuri has…
… I wanted more. I wanted to be able to really touch him. Without gloves in the way. I wanted to be able to kiss him. I love Yuuri…
But having to watch him grow old… and eventually...

Is that why he is sending me away? To spare me that?

Why was I even created? Do the Gods delight in torturing their creations? After they shatter my heart, will they allow me to die, or will I have to continue to exist?

Without him?

I don’t think I can...
“I don’t remember you, but I know that you created me. I know that you can hear me. So all I can say is please. Please let me be with him. I’ll give it all up, if it means that I can be with Yuuri. My powers, my immortality, they are meaningless without him. Please…”“And if I can’t somehow be with him, please… just let me die…”Victor mumbled the word “please” over and over, until finally he fell into an uneasy sleep.***A gentle shake roused Victor from his uneasy sleep. He opened his eyes slowly, disoriented and confused. I’m shaking, and my body feels weird, and weak. It hurts…
Gods… Did I get too warm? Am I… dying?
Victor could feel panic start to bubble up in his chest. I don’t want to live without Yuuri, but I wanted to at least say goodbye… A familiar voice asked, “Victor?”Victor’s eyes focused on Christophe, kneeling a short distance away. Victor moaned, “Chris? Please… Yuuri…”Chris nodded in understanding. “I’ll go get him. Don’t move, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”Victor curled up tighter, trying to control the shaking of his body as he watched Chris disappear. He tried to summon his magic, the panic building when he realized that he could not. I stayed too long…  I should have left.
I’m going to die.

Alone.

Yuuri tried to spare me. He tried to send me away.
Victor felt a lone tear slip down his cheek as he closed his eyes in defeat.
I’m sorry, Yuuri. I wanted to see you one last time.

And now it is too late.
***“Yuuri, wake up!”Yuuri started awake at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It was dark in his room. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up slowly. Did I dream it? It’s the middle of the night, and the door is locked. No one could get in here, right? “Come on, I need you to come with me.”Yuuri went stiff with fear. “Who…?”Light suddenly flooded the room. Yuuri’s eyes snapped shut in protest and he stifled a moan. Yuuri opened his eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the light. He grabbed his glasses off of the nightstand and put them on. Once his eyes focused, he saw Chris standing in the doorway of his bedroom.Chris said, “I didn’t mean to startle you. But Victor needs you.”“Victor? Did something happen?”Chris shook his head. “We can go over the specifics later. Right now, you need to come with me. And bring a blanket.”
A blanket? Why would I need a blanket? What in the world is wrong with Victor?
Yuuri scrambled out of bed and followed Chris out of the room. He slipped into his coat and grabbed a blanket off of the couch before shoving his bare feet into his shoes. Chris nodded in approval. “Let’s go.”***Yuuri struggled to keep up as Chris dashed from the apartment building into the night. The blanket was an awkward bundle in Yuuri’s arms, hampering his progress. He kept his breathing deep and steady as he followed Chris into the park. He stayed? Why? I told him to leave. Even though it was the last thing I wanted. And now…
Now is it too late?
The oak tree came into view, a street lamp illuminating the area near the base. There was a figure with silver hair curled up near the roots. Yuuri hissed in a breath.
What is wrong with Victor? He looks like he’s in pain. It’s almost as bad as when he got back from Japan. Did he… Did he try to use the teleportation magic, and it failed?

Is he dying?
Yuuri rushed up to Victor. He reached into his pockets, searching for the gloves that he usually kept there. Where are they? Did they fall out? Oh, no… Yuuri dug into his pockets, but to no avail. His gloves were missing.Yuuri felt tears stinging his cheeks in the cold. “Victor.”Victor moaned. “Yuuri? It hurts…”Yuuri could feel his heart break. He’s in pain, and I can’t even touch him. I can’t offer him any kind of comfort, even while he lies here dying in front of me? Yuuri took a deep breath. I don’t care. I don’t care if it hurts, or if it leaves a permanent scar.
At least that way I’ll have something to remember him by.
Yuuri reached out tentatively. “It’s going to be okay, Victor.” He braced himself for the pain as he lightly brushed Victor’s cheek with the back of his fingers.Yuuri gasped in surprise. It’s doesn’t hurt. His skin feels warm against mine. How? What’s happened to him? Victor’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t…” I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. Yuuri smiled softly as he moved his hand to gently cup Victor’s face. “Something happened. I can touch you.”  “He’s human now.”Yuuri’s head jerked up. He stared at Chris in disbelief. “Huh?”Chris grinned. “Victor’s Goddess heard his prayers and released him. Victor is human now.”Victor gasped, tears coming to his eyes. After all of this time, She heard me. She answered me. I thought I was being punished for something. Maybe I was wrong… Yuuri whispered in disbelief, “I didn’t think that was possible…”Victor shivered violently under Yuuri’s hands. “You’re freezing! Let’s get you inside, where it is warm. Here.”Yuuri wrapped Victor up in the blanket. Victor’s shaking lessened. I’m cold? That is what is wrong with me? Yuuri stood and picked up Victor in a bridal carry, holding him close to his chest. Victor rested his head on Yuuri’s chest, enjoying the feeling of Yuuri’s arms around him and the warmth his body was giving off. Human… I can’t believe it. I get to be with Yuuri. ***“Phichit.”Phichit groaned, not bothering to open his eyes. It’s not like I can see him anyway . “Chris… It’s the middle of the night. Humans sleep, you know…”Chris replied, “I know that. But Yuuri is going to need you to open the door for him.“Phichit sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Huh? Why?” He glared in the general direction of Chris’s voice. “And anyway, I know that you are perfectly capable of opening a door.”“You’re going to want to see this.” And waking you up is more fun. It’s not like I get to come often, or stay for long… Phichit sighed in defeat as he pulled back the covers. He mumbled, “I can’t believe this. It’s…” He glanced at the clock, “Three AM. What could possibly be so important that Yuuri couldn’t wait until morning…”He made his way out of his bedroom, grumbling as he moved towards the front door. “You owe me one, Chris.”“Au contraire, I think you will be glad that I woke you.”Phichit shook his head. He heard Yuuri’s muffled voice through the door. “Um… I think I forgot to grab my keys… And I don’t have my phone either. I don’t know how we’re going to get in.”He heard a familiar voice reply, “Maybe you could pound on the door and have Phichit let us in?” That sounds like Victor. But it can’t be, right? He can’t come inside… Phichit hurried towards the door as Chris chuckled from somewhere behind him.“No, I don’t want to wake the neighbors. I guess that we’ll just have to stay in the hallway until morning…”Phichit threw the door open, revealing Yuuri. Holding a grown man wrapped in a blanket in his arms. A man with silver hair and ice blue eyes. Oh my God… “Victor?”Yuuri grunted as he shifted Victor’s weight in his arms. “Um, some stuff has happened? Let us in and we’ll talk about it?”Phichit nodded and held the door open, his mouth agape. I’m going to kill Chris. He could have told me. Yuuri walked over to the couch and set Victor down gently, making sure that he was covered completely by the blanket before sitting down behind him. Yuuri pulled Victor closer, until his back was resting against Yuuri’s chest. He asked quietly, “Are you still cold?”Victor nodded slightly. “I think so? It is hard to tell. I’ve never been cold before. I’ve never really been warm, either. But this seems to be helping…”Phichit piped up, “I’ll start some tea for all of us. That should help. And in the meantime, would someone mind explaining exactly how it is that the ice elemental that, by the way, I couldn’t see yesterday, is now in our living room and complaining of being cold?”Victor leaned back against Yuuri. “Chris said that my Goddess released me. I’m human.”Phichit shook his head as he set the kettle on the stove. He turned on the burner before turning to look at the two men on the couch. “I didn’t think something like that was possible. But then again, I don’t really know much about elementals…”Chris cleared his throat before he spoke. “It usually isn’t. But if an elemental has a human soulmate, his or her deity can choose to release them. They can choose to live a human life with their soulmate.”Yuuri, his eyes wide, asked, “Soulmate?”Chris chuckled. “Yes, all elementals have a soulmate. And sometimes, they are humans. Part of my job as an Amour elemental is to mark soulmates, once they find each other.”Victor quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “And you marked us?”Chris nodded. “Years ago.”Yuuri’s gasped. “The mark on my shoulder…?”
The strange snowflake shaped mark that no one ever seemed to notice… It was a soulmate mark? We’re soulmates?
Yuuri wriggled out of his coat. He pulled down the loose collar of his too-large sleep shirt to expose his bare shoulder. He turned his shoulder towards Phichit. “Can you see it?”Phichit studied Yuuri’s shoulder for a moment before shaking his head. “Nope.”Yuuri pursed his lips as he thought. No one ever mentioned the mark, because no one else could see it? I wonder... Yuuri pulled the blanket down around Victor’s shoulders and gently pushed the thin fabric of Victor’s shirt out of the way. There was a snowflake on Victor’s shoulder, mirroring the one on Yuuri. He ran his fingers gently over the mark.“You have one, too.”Yuuri leaned down and kissed the mark gently, sending a pleasant shiver down Victor’s spine.Victor sighed. “We really are soulmates…”Phichit sighed wistfully. “I wish I could see them, too. This sounds like something out of a fairy tale.”Victor leaned his head back against Yuuri’s shoulder. A fairy tale… does this mean that I got my happy ending? This isn’t a dream, right? We really get to be together now? Victor’s eyes felt heavy. He mumbled, “I love you, Yuuri.”Yuuri smiled softly. “I have loved you for so long, Victor.” Tears formed in Yuuri’s eyes. I can’t believe that, after all of this time, we can finally be together. Victor reached up and wiped the tears from Yuuri’s eyes. “Please, don’t cry.”Yuuri laughed. He put his finger under Victor’s chin and gently pulled it up towards him. Yuuri brought his lips down to meet Victor’s in a soft, passionate kiss, the first of many that they would share in their long lives together.