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Merlin looks like he might be about to laugh when Eggsy steps back on to the plane, one eyebrow quirking in amusement, but Eggsy feels his face crumpling, tears already threatening to spill and instead Merlin is up, pulling Eggsy in, pressing Eggsy’s face to his shoulder. Merlin is not a demonstrative man, he observes, analyses, always watching and leading but not getting involved; Eggsy is still a little afraid of him but he falls apart against Merlin’s chest, snot and spit and tears getting all over his jumper.Merlin murmurs into his hair, ‘it’s ok, Eggsy, it'll be ok.’Eggsy turns his head to the side, gives a big, juddering sniff, ‘I couldn’t do it, couldn’t shag the princess.’He’s not sure why he says it. Everything else in his head is too raw, too painful; the reality of losing Harry, killing more people than he’s ever really known. He expects Merlin to tease him for wasting a post mission victory fuck with a willing and leggy blonde but instead Merlin just rests his chin on the top of Eggsy’s head and holds him a little tighter.‘I know, it’ll be ok.’Eggsy draws away enough to see Merlin’s eyes are shiny with unshed tears and feels suddenly guilty. Merlin has known Harry longer than Eggsy’s been alive, probably, and here is comforting Eggsy because he can’t hold it together.Merlin slides one of his hands up Eggsy’s back, a gentle touch ending with a firm grip on the back of his neck, anchoring. Harry used to do that; always leading Eggsy about with a hand at the nape of his neck. Merlin squeezes gently, ‘come on lad, things to do.’He draws Eggsy to the fold out cot at the back of the plane and instructs him to get some sleep in a tone that will not be disobeyed. They still have to collect Roxy, get back to HQ and assess the damage. This isn’t over by a long shot and yet Eggsy is tired to his bones so he goes easily and lets himself be tucked in, however much that’ll embarrass him later. Merlin hands him a glass of water and a small white pill which he swallows without question and sinks into a strange, artificial sleep. When he wakes up it’s to the gentle hum of the plane in flight and Roxy looking at him from a chair on the other side of the cabin.‘Ok?’ she asks, she looks about as shit as he feels.Eggsy just shrugs, ‘how’s Merlin?’‘Flying the plane,’ just about holding it together then.‘Right. When will we be back?’‘Any minute now.’ They hover impatiently by the doors as the plane taxis down the runway to the Kingsman hanger, braced for whatever might await them inside. Through the window they can see the ground crew, looking small and unreal, awaiting their arrival; Eggsy’s never done this before, none of this is normal, but they don’t look like they’ve lived through world altering events.Suddenly, there’s commotion and a figure is rushing towards the plane, ignoring the frantic gestures of the staff to stop and wait.‘Alistair,’ breathes Roxy, relief colouring her tone as she shifts from foot to foot while the doors click to manual and Eggsy can heave them open. Merlin has stepped out of the cockpit, a hand to Eggsy’s shoulder as they watch Roxy rush down the steps and into her uncle’s arms. He gives her a cursory hug, already bounding up the stairs two at a time.‘Merlin,’ he says, breathing hard, Roxy now behind him, trying to not look too wounded, ‘it’s Galahad, he’s alive. Harrison Memorial in Kentucky rang just 10 minutes ago. He was picked up under one of his aliases in the clean up. In a coma but alive.’Merlin is already stepping back towards the cockpit before Percival’s stopped speaking and his eyes when they meet Eggsy’s are like a mirror; we need to go to Harry, now. Percival is shaking his head, ‘there’s no point going now, you’re exhausted, you need to rest.’ We need you here, goes unsaid.Merlin runs a weary hand over his face, dislodging his glasses; it makes him look more stern without them somehow.‘You’re right Percival, of course. What sort of losses have we sustained?’‘HQ is at 40% capacity. In the field we still have Bors, Kay, Bedivere, myself, Lancelot,’ he smiles warmly at Roxy, takes her hand, ‘and of course…,’ he gestures to Eggsy.‘We’ll let Galahad choose Eggsy’s title shall we?’ says Merlin, ‘when he’s back on his feet,’ and Eggsy feels like bursting into tears again.‘Right,’ Merlin claps his hands, ‘I want all of your back here tomorrow at 8am. Eggsy and I will fly out to Kentucky. Percival, Lancelot, you can get started on a review of our current status and breadth of the clean up we’ll need. Good? Everyone off to get some kip, then.’As Merlin heads off down the steps Roxy and Percival share a look; they technically outrank him, shit, maybe Eggsy outranks him now too, but no one would dare to contradict Merlin. Eggsy catches Roxy’s hand, gives it a squeeze, before following. It seems not only Eggsy is still shit scared of Merlin because any remaining staff seem to have scarpered in the wake of Merlin’s long strides across the tarmac, through deserted corridors, until they reach his office. ‘Merlin?’ he says quietly and Merlin’s head jerks back like he’s been shocked, ‘you gonna sleep? You ain’t actually a robot you know. You gotta be sharp to fly that plane tomorrow,’ his voice sounds grating in the silence, his heart’s still going 100mph, grief and adrenaline and relief all warring in his body, strung out and on edge. He lays a hand on Merlin's elbow, pinches the soft cashmere of his jumper between two fingers.‘He’ll be ok Merlin, we’ll bring him home,’ he feels stupid, like a kid comforting a parent, like when he would climb into his mum’s lap to try and make it better after Dean had gone at her with his fists; a child in the face of grief even now.Merlin turns into him slowly, a hand going up to Eggsy’s neck again, gripping hard, eyes wide and searching. Eggsy’s not sure who moves first, maybe it’s perfect synchronicity. One moment they’re staring at each other and the next Eggsy’s going up on his tiptoes as Merlin leans down and they’re kissing, fervently, desperately and if they’re both thinking about Harry that hardly matters now.He lets Merlin back him towards the couch in the corner of the room, snogging and tripping over their feet. Merlin shoves him down and lets Eggsy pull his jumper off, glasses clattering to the floor. They look at each other, the strange atmosphere of the moment shattering, and laugh, hysterical. Merlin leans forward, one knee on the sofa between Eggsy’s thighs, smiling into the skin of Eggsy’s throat. Eggsy reaches down to pick up the glasses and put them back on Merlin's face. they regard each other silently for a moment; this is nothing like being in Valentine's bunker with Princess Tilde. He was high off the victory and full of elation until the reality of what he thought was Harry's death came crashing down on him and Tilde had looked at him with such pity, patted his arm and put her clothes back on. Merlin sees his bravado for what it is and isn't judging him; they're cleaved together now by mutual loss and unspoken hope. Eggsy goes for brash confidence anyway, it's all he's ever known and he really thinks he might cry again if nothing else. ‘Merlin, mate, this is your fault,’ he gestures to the rather impressive tent he’s making in his trousers, ‘what are you gonna do about it?’Merlin snorts, ‘god, you’re irritating,’ pushing him back onto the sofa and Eggsy opens his mouth to protest but Merlin kisses him soundly, hands to his flies, pulling his trousers and boxers down, kneeling up to get his own flies open, stroking his dick with an exaggerated leer. Eggsy drags him down so they’re pressed together, hips and thighs, dicks dragging in a slick, inelegant slide. Eggsy feels silly, giggly, he laughs into Merlin’s open mouth and Merlin smirks, wry, until the rocking of their hips has them moaning.Eggsy gets a hand round both of them, moving fast, Merlin braced above him, eyes shut as he comes. Eggsy doesn’t still the movement of his hand, Merlin’s come easing the way even as he hisses with oversensitivity and bats Eggsy’s hand away, slides down their bodies and swallows Eggsy’s dick in one swift movement. Eggsy swears and rocks into the warm, wet heat of Merlin’s mouth. He bites down on his own fist as he comes, Merlin swallowing convulsively. Eggsy closes his eyes, fist still in his mouth, feels Merlin slump beside him, forehead to thigh. He puts out a hand, confused momentarily by the smooth skin of Merlin’s head instead of hair and laughs, a peal of slightly manic laughter, ‘shit, Merlin. That was...great. Probably quite stupid. But great, yeah. Thanks.’‘Oh, piss off. You think we’re the first agents to have an ill-advised fuck? Don’t flatter yourself,’ says Merlin, he looks up, reproving, but his eyes are glittering.Eggsy rolls his eyes and nudges Merlin with his foot, ‘we really should sleep though.’‘There’s a camp bed through there,’ Merlin says nodding to a door Eggsy had always assumed was a cupboard.‘Do you literally live in your office, Merlin? There are proper bedrooms upstairs you know.’‘Cheeky shit. If you’d like a proper bed you’re welcome to go and find one.’‘You gonna come with me?’‘No, this was a one time offer, now expired.’‘Yeah, yeah,’ says Eggsy, grumbling good naturedly as he rolls off the couch, shuffles inelegantly towards the door, clutching his trousers up, ‘you will sleep won’t you?’Merlin’s face goes soft, smiling ever so slightly, ‘yes, Eggsy. Me and this couch are very well acquainted.’Eggsy nods, takes himself off to bed and manages, by some miracle, to sleep. He wakes suddenly to Merlin shaking him, ears going pink under the scrutiny, suddenly very aware he’s in his boxers and nothing else.‘Oh, get over yourself,’ says Merlin, holding out a cup of coffee strong enough to strip paint, ‘get up, get dressed. We’re heading off in an hour.’Eggsy takes a big gulp of coffee, too hot, and chokes out, ‘yes, Merlin.’Merlin looks at him then, without a trace of pity, and says, ‘we’ll get him home, lad. Don’t worry, he’ll be all yours.’