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Hal Jordan is an idiot. That being said, he’s also an idiot with a weapon that literally wields it’s user’s imagination. Naturally, Hal decided to make his Green Lantern ring project a massive baseball bat. It did very little more than put a very minuscule dent into the cranium of a monstrous, tentacled skull spaceship that floated above the sky, threatening to take Coast City as a prize fit for a cruel child king. It should go without saying that he was struggling harder than a child with its leg caught in a bear trap. Although, if I were a gambler, I’d say that the child’s chances of getting out of the bear trap are higher than Jordan’s chances were of destroying this extraterrestrial threat. Then out of nowhere, she comes. The first time a woman has ever done that for Jordan. A massive beam of light, brighter than the goddamn sun struck the thing in the side, sending the fucker flying away from Hal. All of a sudden she slowed down, and before Hal Jordan stood Captain Marvel, a smug smile on her face and fists glowing with the promise of untold power.
“I had this under control, Danvers.”
“Yeah, looked like it. The damn thing looked like it was getting attacked by a fly,” she laughed.
Hal squinted at her angrily, as most weak men are one to do when being made fun of by someone who is their superior in every way, “I can take care of this, don’t you have some sort of other alien threat that you need to take care of?”
“Nah, just got finished helping J’onn with a minor conflict on Mars. Saw you fighting this thing on the way here, figured I should lend a helping hand.”
“Yeah, very altruistic of you. But you did about as much damage to it as I did.”
The big ass skull spaceship of doom and gloom rushed at them, parting the two cosmically enhanced super-humans, “It’s fine, I’ve got a colleague who has some experience with this kind of technology in route, ETA 10 minutes.”
Hal rolled his eyes and forced the ring to generate a construct in the shape of a massive set of chattering teeth to attack the skull-ship. As soon as they bit into its metal hull it shattered and vanished, much to the dismay and annoyance of Hal. It soon becomes apparent that despite wielding
the
most powerful weapon in the known universe, he is still a putz, and the universe will forever hate him and his stupid face. He spent ten, very long minutes crying as he delved into his vague trauma. Everyone watched him too, Carol, the citizens of Coast City, even the fucking skull-ship seemed to pity him.
The skull-ship’s pity towards the Green Lantern was short lived when Carol’s colleague popped out the other side, the ship held in her left hand while it’s pilot, a green-skinned, metal covered man sat unconscious in the crook of her right. Linda
motherfucking
Danvers. Supergirl. Women wanted her, men wanted to be her. She had a luscious mane of wild blonde hair on top of her hair and a smile that exuded both confidence and reassurance. She had a friendly cheerleader personality if the personality was fucking blitzed out on thirty 5 Hour Energies and a cup of honey-sweetened green tea.
“Everything alright?” she said looking at her adopted older sister and the sad man that works with her cousin.
“Yeah, we kind of showed up Hal a little. Then again, it’s not exactly difficult to show him up. I mean look at him.”
Supergirl also gave Hal a look of pity. He once again looked as though he was on the verge of crying, yet again. She then quickly vanished and returned without the ship and it’s pilot and gave Hal a hug.
It genuinely cheered him up. I mean, c’mon, how can you stay a pissy asshole when you’re getting a hug from Supergirl? It’s like getting a hug from a buff teddy bear, it’s amazing. The two sisters then quickly vanished, leaving Hal to clean up after their weird skirmish with the skull-ship.