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When Hizashi sits down in the cafeteria with his tray of food, Shouta picks his head up from the table and mumbles something that doesn't sound entirely like words. “Huh?”“D'you wanna go to the arcade with me today?” Shouta repeats, just a bit more clearly. There's a red mark on his forehead from the table. He has food, but it's untouched.Hizashi nudges Shouta's tray closer to him instead of answering. “Hey, eat your food, we have training after this!” When Shouta waits for an answer to his question instead of moving, Hizashi sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh...I'd like to! I really would!” He feels bad turning Shouta down when it's so rare for him to be the one making plans, inviting Hizashi to something. “But...I have other plans.” He shifts around, squirming in his seat.Shouta looks down at his food, picking up his chopsticks. “Okay.” He doesn't sound disappointed, but Hizashi thinks he probably is. It's subtle, the tension of his shoulders, the undue concentration he gives his food. “Are you going out with Nakamura again?” In that sentence, the strain is a lot more obvious, and Hizashi doesn't miss the way he scowls at his rice. Hizashi frowns. “Um, no. Do you not like her or something? Did she say something rude to you? Or about you?” If she did, Hizashi wants to know. Shouta doesn't answer, though. “Well, if you don't like her, you don't have anything to worry about! I don't think we're going on another date.” Hizashi prides himself on being able to get along with everyone, and he has a strict policy of going on at least one date with anyone who asks him out—everyone deserves a chance! Honestly, though, he'd never had high hopes for Nakamura. She had spent a significant portion of their date complaining about their classmates, and had obviously expected Hizashi to agree with her and join in. She had at least been tactful enough to avoid criticizing any of Hizashi's close friends to his face, but he didn't really doubt that she did to other people.Shouta's shoulders relax just slightly. “Oh, okay.” He finally starts eating.Hizashi smiles. “Yeah! I mean...we just didn't really get along! But Sato asked me out today, so I'm going to the park with her after school! But I totally do want to go to the arcade with you! Maybe tomorrow?” He's much more excited about this date, despite the potential bugginess of the park. He doesn't know Sato very well, but from what he's heard, she's very nice, and she's definitely very pretty. She has long, straight black hair that falls almost to her knees when it's down, and Hizashi is honestly jealous.Shouta's scowl is back, just for a moment before he makes his expression blank again. “Ah,” he says shortly, still just looking at his food. His shoulders are at maximum tension again.
Hizashi frowns, then grins, because he's just realized something. “Oh! You're
jealous
!”
“What?” Shouta's head whips up to stare at him. “No, I'm not!” he insists vehemently, but the sudden flush on his face says something else. Hizashi really should have realized that before. He gets asked out quite a bit, now that they're in their third year and people are getting a little romance-obsessed. He's popular, nice, reasonably handsome, and his policy of accepting dates is well-known at this point. Shouta is definitely not popular, he's only nice once you get to know him, and Hizashi might think he's handsome but he's aware that other people...do not always agree. As far as he knows, Shouta has never gotten asked out. He's never shown any interest in dating, but that could just be because he's shy.“You could have told me, you know!” Hizashi's look gets thoughtful. “I could help you get a date! I bet there are lots of girls who would go out with you if I vouched for you! You're a nice dude, people just don't know that!”Shouta's face is still red, but he stops staring at Hizashi and looks back to his food. “I don't like any of the girls in our class,” he finally says.“Well, there are the other courses! Lots of people go to this school, I'm sure you'd like one of them!” Hizashi taps his chin, trying to think of a good match for Shouta. Someone else reserved? Or would that just be too awkward, if neither of them would talk? Maybe someone more outgoing, to break him out of his shell a little? Definitely someone nice, but also tough enough to withstand Shouta's blunt honesty. Shouta rolls his eyes, breaking Hizashi out of his thoughts before he can come to a conclusion. “I don't want to go on a date with some random girl.”“But you don't really know anyone but me, Nemuri, and Tensei! And Nemuri already has a boyfriend.”Shouta scoffs. “I don't want to date Nemuri, either.”He hasn't denied yet that he wants to go on a date, though. At this point, that basically means that he does. “There's nobody you like? Nobody at all?” Hizashi presses.“...No, there's...nobody specific,” Shouta says, staring off into the distance. Hizashi tries to follow his gaze, trying to see if he's looking at someone, but as far as he can tell the secret object of Shouta's affections is...a potted plant.“Oh.” Hizashi slumps forward on the table, chin resting in his hands. That should be the end of that, but he still wants to help! Shouta is his best friend! If Shouta doesn't like anyone, he's not jealous because of who Hizashi is dating—he's just jealous that he's going on dates at all. “So, like...are you just jealous because you want to go on a date? Even though you don't like anyone?”Shouta makes some kind of noncommittal noise, and Hizashi has a really terrible idea.“Hey, what if you went on a fake date! With someone you weren't interested in that way! Just to get the experience, you know?”Shouta's eyebrows raise. “Who would do that?” His tone makes the 'what kind of idiot' part clear.Hizashi grins widely, swooping both hands through the air and then sticking his thumbs out to point at himself. “Me!!”Shouta gapes at him, and Hizashi only lets himself deflate a tiny bit under the total lack of a response. “Uh...what?” Shouta finally asks.“Me!! I could take you on a fake date! You don't want to go out with someone random, and you're not interested in anyone, so that means you have to go out with someone you're not interested in, if you're going to go on a date at all, which you totally don't have to, I know everyone's like obsessed with stuff like that right now but it's totally okay to wait, or never date anyone at all if you don't want to!!” Hizashi stops for breath, then thinks of another really obvious objection. “It's okay that we're both boys!! It's just to have the experience, right? It's not that different! At least, probably not...You don't have to like boys to go on a fake date with one!”Shouta seems to have only barely recovered through all his rambling, and the next thing he says is so low and quiet that Hizashi isn't even sure he heard him right. “What if I do like boys?”“You—what?”“I like boys. I'm gay.” Shouta is all but glaring at him, defiantly, and Hizashi's head spins. He's almost not sure if the spike of emotions that spears through him is elation or terror, because Shouta is coming out to him. Hizashi scrambles to give some kind of response, even though it's definitely been too long already. “That's—that's cool! That's great!” His voice is horrifyingly high-pitched, though, and he coughs, trying to get it back into a normal human range. “That's really cool, Shouta!”Shouta is looking at him suspiciously, but he apparently decides that that was good enough, because he shrugs. “I understand if that changes things.”“What?? No, of course not!! That doesn't change anything!!” Oh god, it changes everything, but Hizashi is going to have to deal with that on his own.Shouta shrugs again. “It's okay if you don't still want to go on a fake date with me, I mean.”“No, I do!! That makes it better, right?” It makes it terrifyingly more real. “Since you want to go on dates with boys.”Yet another shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”Hizashi takes a deep breath. “Shouta, I—” What if he just said it? He wasn't planning on that today, or ever in his fucking life, but what if he just said it? “I like—” Shouta went first. Shouta can't possibly react badly because he's queer too. “I like girls, though.” Fuck. God damn it. He's not technically lying, he does like girls, but everyone assumes he likes girls, so what he needed to say was that he likes everyone, not just girls. He could still say it, but he's so, so not ready, and despite how close they are, despite the fact that Shouta just came out to him, he's the last person on earth Hizashi wants to tell, because it's such an easy leap from Hizashi liking boys to Hizashi liking Shouta, specifically. Which he absolutely, positively does not. No way. Not enough to matter, anyway, not enough to mean something, it is totally unimportant the way that Hizashi’s heart skips a beat when he smiles, the way that he first realized he might not be straight when he found himself a little bit fixated on Shouta’s mouth, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. That was only for a few weeks, he’s better now, he’s over it.
He probably would have eventually figured out that he wasn't straight if not for Shouta, but...he makes it a hell of a lot harder to ignore.
Just because he’s objectively attractive. Yeah, that’s all.
More shrugging. “That's okay. It's fake.”“Yeah! Right!” Shouta obviously came out to him because it felt too underhanded to let Hizashi fake-date him while thinking he's straight when he's not, and Hizashi is too cowardly to do the same thing, and this is a bad idea actually, he's a terrible person. “So where do you want to go?”“I don't know. Where do you usually go on dates?”“You can go pretty much anywhere! The default is like...coffee, or dinner, or dessert. Someplace with food. Everyone likes food!” Hizashi considers. It's really, really important to take Shouta on a really good date. “I'm not sure where exactly we should go. I'll keep thinking about it!”Shouta nods. “Okay.”“Is tomorrow good? I can pick you up an hour after school gets out.”“Yeah, okay.” Shouta smiles at him kind of tentatively, and Hizashi smiles back brightly. Lunch is almost over, so they both have to focus on eating for the rest of the time—but Hizashi tries to talk anyway, around the food in his mouth, making Shouta roll his eyes.It’s cute when he does that. This is a terrible idea.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hizashi is a bit of a mess for the rest of the day. He's distracted during training, earning him a punch directly to the face—that's probably going to bruise, shit. It's not nearly bad enough to go to Recovery Girl, so now he's going to have to go to two dates with a bruise on his face. Two
first
dates. One of which is with
Shouta.
But that's okay, because that one is fake.When he gets home from school, Hizashi paces the floor of his room, wracking his brain for the perfect place to take Shouta. Then he digs in his closet for the perfect thing to wear on his (fake) date with Shouta. Then he lays on his bed and tries to think of the perfect things to talk about with Shouta.Then he remembers the actual, real date he has. Today. Right now.“SHIT!” Hizashi curses, flinging himself off the bed. He quickly sends an all-caps apology text to Sato, saying he's probably going to be a little late, and races to change into something halfway presentable that isn't his school uniform.
He's only about five minutes late when he gets to the park, but he still feels guilty that he
forgot.
He greets Sato with an ingratiating smile. She looks pretty, with a blue flower necklace and her long hair in a neat braid down her back. “Hey! I'm so, so sorry I'm late, but...your hair looks really nice like that!”
She smiles. “Thank you! You look nice, too,” she says politely, even though Hizashi isn't wearing anything special.They chat for a while as they walk around the park, and Hizashi does like her, she is nice, but he's kind of distracted. It's not fair to her, to be thinking of someone else. It's especially awful that she notices.“Hey, um...” she starts, running her hands over the braid that she's thrown over her shoulder. “Are you okay? Is everything okay?” She's looking at him with genuine concern on her sweet face.Hizashi grimaces. “Yeah. I'm really sorry, everything's fine. It's just...” he tries to think of how to word things. “A friend...told me something really big today? And it's nothing bad, but I've been thinking about it a lot.”Sato tips her head to the side. “Oh?”Hizashi rubs the back of his neck. “I probably shouldn't talk about it? I don't know if it's a secret or what, but it's not the kind of thing I want to be spreading around. Just because I don't like to gossip, you know? Not because I don't want to tell you! I just probably shouldn't tell anyone. It's the kind of thing they should get to choose when people know.”Sato laughs. “Okay, who came out to you?”“What?? Nobody!! Of course not!!” Hizashi shakes his head rapidly, holding up his hands. It's not a convincing denial. He sighs. “Well, yeah, okay, somebody. But I shouldn't tell you!”“Yeah, I guess you're right.” Sato nods thoughtfully. “You're a good friend, Yamada. I shouldn't have asked you who it was. I really want to know who the other queer people at UA are, but I know when I come out, I don't want my friends telling people behind my back.”Hizashi stares at her for a second. Is this really happening to him? Twice in one day? “You're...?”Sato flips her braid back over her shoulder. “I'm bisexual, yeah. I was kind of hoping you'd say it was Kayama, she's really cool.” Her eyes widen, and she puts her hand over her mouth. “Oh no! Is it rude to say I think your friend is cute when I'm on a date with you? I'm sorry!” She twists the hem of her skirt in her hands, looking down. “But you don't really seem that into me...”Hizashi thinks he's getting the hang of people coming out to him. He recovers much faster this time, and he's barely panicking at all when he says, “Oh! Cool!” He holds his hand out for a fist bump, which Sato smiles and accepts. Hizashi grins. She's pretty great. “Nemuri...I don't think I should even confirm or deny that it's her! But she's not single, anyway.”Sato rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but we're in high school. Relationships last for like three days, on average.”“Hey! That's mean! You don't know, maybe she's found true love!!” Hizashi braces his hands on his hips, frowning.“I'm just being realistic! But that's fair, I guess. I wish her the best of luck.”They stroll in silence for a few seconds, but Hizashi can never let any silence last very long. “So, Sato! I think you're really cool!”She smiles at him. “I think you're really cool too, Yamada.”“I definitely think we should be friends! But...yeah, you're right. I think we should be just friends.”Sato nods. “Yeah, that's what I guessed. It's okay, I like having friends.”“You're really pretty and everything! But I...” Hizashi starts talking really fast, before he can lose his nerve, but his heart is thudding in his ears anyway. “I...might...have had this crush! At one point! On a guy! Because I'm bi too!” He’s not sure why he said that. He wanted to come out, but he doesn’t need to invent a crush to do that. His mouth is always getting away from him.“Really? Sweet!” Sato now holds her hand out, and Hizashi gratefully fist-bumps it. He laughs in relief.“You...I haven't...you're actually the first person I've told that! Thanks for being chill about it!” His legs are actually a little bit shaky.“Of course,” Sato says, smiling. “You were nice when I came out. I knew there was something about you.”Hizashi grins. It's pretty great, the idea that he seems like a safe person to tell these things. Even if it's also terrifying when it happens.When it starts to get dark, Hizashi says goodbye to Sato with a hug and another request to be friends. She nods, smiling. “Yeah, definitely.” Her smile turns sly as she says, “Good luck with your crush.”Hizashi runs his hand through his hair, grinning. “Thanks! I, uh...don't know what I can do for you about Nemuri. If she and her boyfriend break up, I guess I could tell her that this girl I know is interested and see how she takes it?”“Yeah, that sounds good. If she sounds like she's interested back, you can tell her it's me.”“Okay! Um...you probably already know not to, but don't tell anyone else about me, okay?”“Sure, no problem.” Hizashi pulls her in for another quick hug before waving goodbye and bouncing down the street. Despite the mutual lack of romantic interest, that was a really good date.He turns around when Sato calls from half a block away. “Hey, Yamada!”“Yeah?” He’s made some progress in learning to yell without activating his quirk.“Say hi to Aizawa for me!”Hizashi sputters out a reply, and for once, it’s not loud enough. “Hey! That’s not!! It isn’t—he isn’t—I don’t—”Sato’s laugh carries across the distance well enough. He can even hear it as she waves and walks away.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hizashi still can't focus at school the next day. He needs to think of the perfect place to take Shouta! All the places they love to go together are just that: places they love, places they've been a thousand times. Familiar, old, not quite boring, but getting there. This is supposed to be a
date,
so it has to be different from a normal day of hanging out. The arcade and the cat cafe are both out. It can't be a place Shouta already loves, but it has to be a place he will love.
He finally breaks down and decides to ask his friends for help. It's not too hard to get Nemuri and Tensei alone away from Shouta—all he has to do is not wake him up for lunch. He’ll come back and get him before it’s time for class again, so he has some time to eat. “Hey, Hizashi!” Nemuri greets him. Tensei just waves, because he just took a bite of food, and he’s too polite to talk with his mouth full. “Where’s Shouta?” She peers around his back like he might be hiding him. “Is he sick today?”“Nah.” At least, he hopes not. Then they’d have to postpone their date, and Hizashi’s not sure he could handle that. “He just seemed really tired, so I’m letting him nap.” Hizashi picks up his fork, then puts it down. “So...” he starts, “I have a date tonight.”“Cool,” Tensei says, a little uncertainly, like he’s not sure what Hizashi wants him to do about it.“Uh, okay?” Nemuri says, a little more bluntly. “And? That’s not unusual.” She perks up. “Oh! Do you need help picking out an outfit or something? I’ll help!”Hizashi shakes his head. “Not exactly.” He has some ideas for what he’s going to wear. “More like...I need help trying to figure out where to take them.”“Really?” Tensei asks. “Don’t you pretty much have a list at this point?”“Yeah, but...this one has to be special,” Hizashi says, and then he knows he said too much, because Nemuri grins.“Oh my god, you actually have a crush on them, don’t you?!”“No, I don’t!” Hizashi says, but he can feel his face heat up. He doesn’t, that’s just a reaction to being teased by his mean friends.“It’s okay,” Tensei says, smiling gently. “They’re pretty cool. Totally crush-worthy, I get it.”Hizashi stares at him in complete shock. Tensei cannot have a crush on Shouta. It is not allowed. “What...” he starts, and then realizes what pronouns they’ve all been using. “Wait, who do you think I’m talking about??”“Um, Itsuki? They’re the only person at UA who uses ‘they’ pronouns, right?” Tensei says, and Hizashi slumps in relief.“No, it’s not them.” He finally picks up his fork, stabbing it into his food. “Never mind, I’ll figure it out on my own.” It was ridiculous to ask his friends for advice in the first place if he isn’t willing to tell them who it is he’s taking on a (fake, it’s important to remember that it’s fake) date.Nemuri is not nice enough to leave it alone. “Why did you say ‘them’ instead of ‘her’, then?” Her eyes widen. “Is it a guy??”Tensei glares at her. “Nemuri, don’t.”“N-no,” Hizashi says, kind of miserable. It’s not a convincing lie. “It’s not a guy.”“Hey, it’s okay,” Tensei starts, and Hizashi abruptly stands up, snatching his tray from the table and walking briskly away. He’s not doing this. Not now, and not ever.He makes one lap around the lunch room, angrily shoveling food into his mouth while awkwardly balancing the tray with one arm, before heading back to his friends. As uncomfortable as he is, he really, really doesn’t want to eat alone.“It’s a guy,” he says, putting his tray down just a little too hard. “But it’s not like that. It’s a pretend date. As friends. Because he’s never been on one before.”Nemuri stares at him. “Hizashi...what the fuck.” Then she grins. “That’s so fucking stupid, I love it.”Hizashi makes an attempt to smile. They’re walking this back into the safe territory of his friends calling him an idiot, not gently telling him it’s okay if he’s not straight.“That is pretty silly,” Tensei says, smiling, playing along. “So the question is where to go on a fake date?”“Uh...not exactly, no. It’s pretty much where to take this guy, specifically.”“Which we...can’t really help with...unless you tell us who it is,” Nemuri explains, slowly.“Well...what if you guys just helped me come up with a list of random places? Then I can pick one.”“What about the cat cafe?” Tensei suggests.“No, that won’t work,” Hizashi says, shaking his head. “Because...we—I always go there. With Shouta.”“Oh god,” Tensei says, dropping his head into his hands, at his limit for patience and understanding. “It’s Shouta, isn’t it. Why are you both like this?”Nemuri laughs. “Okay, I changed my mind. That’s brilliant.”“It’s not Shouta!”“How have you gotten this far in life without learning how to lie?” Tensei asks despairingly. “Even I can lie better than that.”“It is not Shouta!”“That’s even worse!” Tensei groans, but he laughs.“Try again,” Nemuri suggests, grinning.“It is not Shouta.”“Okay, that was slightly better,” Tensei says, and Nemuri gives him a thumbs-up. “We’ll just have to go with that.”“Okay, so,” Nemuri says, “thinking of places to take not-Shouta on a not-date. What about not the aquarium?”“Most places are not the aquarium,” Hizashi says.She rolls her eyes. “I meant yes the aquarium, obviously.”“Huh,” Tensei says, nodding thoughtfully. “I like that idea.”Nemuri points at him. “It’s a good one, right? Think about it! He likes animals. You like animals, except for bugs, and the aquarium is indoors so there aren’t any! It just opened, so neither of you has been there. Plus,” she says, leaning in and raising her eyebrows, “aquarium dates are super romantic!”“Nemuri—” Tensei starts, but Hizashi cuts him off. He’s determined for this to not get heavy again.“That’s a great idea! Fish! Fish are cool! I love fish!” He smiles at Nemuri. “Thanks!” Hizashi glances at the clock, then quickly stands up. “I have to go get Shouta so he has some time to eat! Bye!”Once Hizashi is gone, Tensei puts his head back in his hands and groans again. “Why. Why are our friends like this.”“Would it really be that bad if we just told them?” Nemuri asks.“Yes. They have to figure it out for themselves.”“They’re both so obvious, though. It’s literally painful to watch.”“This will be it. They will figure it out this time.” Tensei’s head drops even further, all the way to the table.Nemuri pats the top of his head. “For all of our sakes, I hope so.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
A
fter school, Hizashi marches determinedly up to his room and throws open his closet. It may be a fake date, but he is going to wear the realest outfit. Like he told Nemuri, he does actually have a plan for this. He’
s seen Shouta almost every day for three years now, and sometimes that’s outside of school, when they’re not wearing their uniforms. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes Shouta
comments
on the clothes Hizashi wears.
(This has never led to any kind of crisis. Of course not.) H
e goes through everything he owns, throwing anything Shouta has ever remarked on onto the bed. He’ll just wear all the clothes Shouta has ever complimented him on, all at once.
This turns out of be five shirts, three scarves, two pairs of sunglasses, and no pants.He probably can’t pull that off.Hizashi sighs and start rummaging through the pile. This shirt was “cool”, but this one was “nice.” Which of those words meant that Shouta liked them more?
He only has about half an hour to get ready. He should have scheduled the date for a weekend...but then he’d have several days to worry about it.
It’s cutting it close when Hizashi finally picks a single item from each category, plus pants.
He also spends a little too long staring at his face in the mirror, poking at the bruise on his face. It’s right across his cheekbone, now an ugly purple. None of his sunglasses
fully hide
it. He considers trying to cover it up with
concealer, but he’s not confident that he could make it look natural, and Shouta has already seen the bruise. He saw it about
forty
minutes ago, in fact.
A
s much time as he took getting ready, he’s still about five minutes early to Shouta’s house, because of how fast he walked to get there. He knocks on the door a little
apprehensively
, feeling like anyone who answers the door will be able to tell that this isn’t just a normal day of
best friends
hanging out, that
they’ll know that
they’re going on a
date
. A fake one.
It’s Shouta who opens the door, though. Immediately, in fact, so fast that it’s obvious that he was waiting in the entryway. Hizashi wipes his sweaty hands on his pants and grins. “Hey!”“Hey,” Shouta returns with a faint smile, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. He looks a little nicer than usual, having clearly shaved and brushed his hair, and he’s wearing a black and white checkered scarf over a black t-shirt and gray jeans. Hizashi wonders if anyone helped him pick them out—if he’d told anyone about this. If he had anyone he could tell. “You, um...you look good!” Hizashi’s not sure why he’s still so nervous.Confusion flickers over Shouta’s face for a second as he tries to figure out if that’s just what Hizashi is supposed to say or if he means it, but he finally seems to read the sincerity in his voice and smiles slightly. “Thanks. You do too.”Hizashi grins and smooths out his shirt, then runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks!!”“So,” Shouta asks as they walk down the steps together, “where are we going?”“Oh, right! I never told you! We’re going to the aquarium!”“Huh. Nice.”“Yeah! I looked it up, and it’s half price with a school id card, and lots of people have said it’s really cool, and they even have a cafe that’s not too expensive with ocean-themed desserts and snacks and stuff, and I’m really excited!” Hizashi bounces a little, his steps springy as they make their way down the sidewalk. Shouta glances over at him, a slightly weird look on his face, before coughing and looking away. “Good. Me too.” They’re walking side by side, like they usually do, but this time is different. Their hands are almost brushing where they swing by their sides, and the idea of holding Shouta’s hand is hanging heavy in the air, looming dangerously between them. Hizashi stuffs his hands in his pockets. Shouta does the same.
The aquarium is impressive, shiny modern architecture from the outside, and huge, stunning murals as they walk through the door. When they get to the desk, Shouta pulls out his wallet to pay for his own ticket, but Hizashi shakes his head and pays for both of them.
Then, as soon as they’re through the gate, he laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry!”
Shouta gives him an odd look. “You don’t have to apologize for paying for me.”“Yeah, I just...don’t know how this works! Traditionally guys pay for things on dates, or you split things. I don’t know who pays if it’s two guys on a date.” Maybe he should have researched that, but he’s slightly terrified to ever need that information. He doesn’t ever have to come out if he just never dates a guy. (This doesn’t count.) “I don’t want to imply that you’re like a girl just because you’re gay. And I’m not. Not that being feminine is a bad thing! Obviously.” Hizashi fiddles with his earrings. Shouta rolls his eyes. “Hizashi, calm down.”Hizashi takes a deep breath, then lets it out. “Right.” He smiles. “Okay, calm! I am totally chill now.” Then he springs forward in excitement. “Look! Fish!”
Shouta follows at a more normal pace, joining Hizashi where he has his nose pressed practically to the glass. “Yeah, we’re at an
aquarium
.”
They’re both quiet for a few moments. Hizashi is so mesmerized by the fish that he’s a little startled when Shouta nudges him. “Hey, look at that one.” He points to bright yellow fish with
weird horns, and Hizashi laughs.
“That one looks so stupid, I love it.” The little fish is swaying ditzily through the water, its tiny fins and tail looking like they’re mostly for show rather than locomotion.“I was going to say it looks like you,” Shouta says, smirking.
Hizashi gasps, pressing his hands to his chest. “
Excuse you??
”
He whirls and quickly scans the aquarium. “Well...that one is you!!” He jabs his finger towards a large,
slimy-looking
black eel lurking at the bottom.
“That’s fine,” Shouta says, peering at it. “That fish is cool.”“You’re—” Hizashi starts, then coughs. He was going to say ‘you’re cool too.’ Instead he points at another fish, a dalmatian-spotted one. “That one looks like your scarf!”“That one looks like your shirt,” Shouta says, pointing out a neon pink and green striped fish.
They continue like this for a while
before moving on to the next area. There are jellyfish gently floating in a large glass cylinder, a rainforest area with fake thunder and rain, and a murky river area with massive catfish. Hizashi excitedly points these out. “I don’t like them just because they have ‘cat’ in the name,” Shouta says. “Why are they even called that?”
“The whiskers, I guess?”Shouta makes a noncommittal noise. Despite what he said, he’s studying the catfish carefully. After a while, he points at the tank. “Look at that.”“What?” Hizashi gets closer to the tank, trying to follow his gaze.“That.” Shouta leans into Hizashi, their shoulders brushing as he points again. “It’s a baby.”“Oh!” There is indeed a tiny catfish scooting along the bottom, and if Hizashi’s heart is beating too fast, it’s just because of the cute fish. “Adorable! That one’s the right size to be a cat, at least.”“It’s still a fish.”Hizashi turns towards him, worried. “You’re having fun, right?” Maybe they should have gone to the cat cafe after all. “Even though fish aren’t your favorite?”Shouta nods. “Yeah. This is great.” He glances at Hizashi and then away. It’s hard to read his expression in the low light. “A good date.”
Hizashi grins. “Great!” He glances away from the tank. “Hey! The next thing is one of those tunnels, where you get to walk through the tank! They have sharks!!” He dances towards it a few steps, then looks back. Shouta shoves his hands in his pockets and follows.
T
he tunnel is stunning. Hizashi tries to look everywhere at once, craning his neck to see the fish above his head. When he looks up, it’s almost like he’s actually underwater. Ahead of them, he hears a small child shriek, and a moment later Hizashi gasps as a giant hammerhead shark swims right over them. The fish are amazing, but as the shark swims away, he gets a look at something else.
Shouta’s face is calm and awed, bathed in the dim,
wavering
blue light, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open as he takes in the fish, and he’s
beautiful.
Then he looks over at Hizashi, and he has to look away.
His face is warm, but that’s almost certainly not visible in this lighting, mercifully.
They walk farther into the tunnel, and the
artificial reef around them is great but Hizashi can’t help but
continue to sneak
glances at Shouta. At some point, his hand had come loose from his pocket, and it’s just hanging by his side.
So far, there hasn’t been much to distinguish this as a date, as something different from what they would normally do—just slightly different clothes and Hizashi awkwardly paying for their tickets. There’s also the way that Hizashi can’t seem to keep the butterflies in his stomach
(there weren’t supposed to be any bugs here!)
under control, but that’s all one-sided. And not important.
That isn’t good. He had a goal, here—he’s supposed to be giving Shouta the authentic date experience. He can hang out with Hizashi anytime. They’re only going to go on a date
once
.
Right. Just once. That’s okay.
Hizashi nervously fiddles with the change in his pocket. It’s just Shouta’s hand. He’s sure he’s touched it before, but right now he can’t come up with
anything
more than conjecture about what it felt like.
Warm, probably. Holding hands is warm, and usually a little bit sweaty. He’s done this before. It shouldn’t be this hard.
It’s dark in here. The other people are little more than silhouettes, indistinct shapes moving through the glow. Nobody is going to notice a couple of queer teenagers. (Not that they’re a couple.)
Hizashi edges a little closer to Shouta and, before he can psyche himself out any more, grabs Shouta’s hand.
Shouta looks over at him, clearly surprised, but Hizashi looks away, following a school of fish with his eyes. Shouta doesn’t move away or take back his hand, but his eyes
slowly
move down to where it’s linked with Hizashi’s, and he
shifts it a little bit, finding a way to fit their hands comfortably together.
His hand is warm, he was right. It’s warm, and big, and kind of rough and calloused, and oh my god.
Yeah.
Okay.
He
does
have a crush on Shouta.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He can handle this. He can handle being on a fake date with Shouta while having a not-fake crush on him; this will be fine.It’ll be a little bit more than fine if he gets to keep holding his hand. Or less than fine—his chest feels tight and full, like if he opens his mouth something embarrassing and affectionate will come out, something past friendly.Still, he can’t keep quiet. “Look!” He points with his free hand at the shark. “Do you remember that guy in 3B with the hammerhead quirk? I wonder what happened to him after he graduated. I heard that he was going to go be Lionfish’s sidekick, but I haven’t heard anything since then. You don’t hear about sidekicks that much in the news, though. That means he probably isn’t dead, I guess—no news is good news, sometimes—but that also means he isn’t past sidekicking, yet. That makes sense, since he only graduated last year. Still, I wonder how he’s doing. It must be hard for people with aquatic quirks. Do you think they ever go to aquariums like this? Is that weird for them? Do you think people ever make fun of them if they do? I hope they don’t. That wouldn’t be very...” Hizashi finally trails off. He hasn’t said anything he shouldn’t, yet, but rambling nervously isn’t much better.“I don’t know,” Shouta says. He doesn’t seem to be annoyed, though he isn’t looking at Hizashi, instead focusing on the fish. The trails of light play over the soft waves of his hair. Hizashi wants to touch it.That would be too much. This is feeling more and more like a real date.“Oh! We’re almost at the end of the tunnel!” It’s getting brighter, and Hizashi glances down at their hands and then at the people around them. Holding Shouta’s hand has slowly stopped feeling quite so electric, like a current is flowing through them, and is starting to feel more comfortable, more secure—but still very nice. He gives Shouta’s hand a quick squeeze before reluctantly letting it go.Hopefully Shouta couldn’t tell how much he wanted to keep holding his hand—but it would also be bad if he thought Hizashi didn’t want to hold his hand. He doesn’t want Shouta thinking that Hizashi thinks he’s gross or anything, or that Hizashi has anything against holding a boy’s hand...although, to be fair, he kind of does, it’s just fear holding him back rather than disgust.This is so confusing.Shouta doesn’t comment. He just tucks his hand back into his pocket and keeps walking, back out into the brighter lights.“Hey, are you hungry? Want to go to the cafe?” Hizashi waves his newly-free hand at the tables so that it has something to do.“Sure.” They walk together over to the counter, looking up at the colorful menu.“Snack or dessert?” Hizashi muses, putting way too much consideration into this small decision. “That eel pretzel looks really good, but so does that clownfish cake!”“We could get both and split them.”Hizashi grins at him. “Good idea! Splitting food is a very date-like activity!” Shouta glances over at him, and Hizashi bites his tongue, wondering if he said that too loud or said too much—this certainly won’t be the first time they’ve shared food.Shouta just nods and says, “I can pay. Since you paid for the tickets.”“Sounds like a good compromise!” Hizashi orders, Shouta pays, and soon they’ve got their food and a table.“So,” Shouta asks, picking up one of the forks—they’d given them two and Hizashi tries not to read into that, how obvious they are—“What do people talk about on dates?”Right. At some point, Shouta’s going to go on a date with some guy he isn’t best friends with. “Well...everything you’d talk about normally, plus like...romance stuff, like what you’re looking for in a partner, that sort of thing.” Hizashi perks up, because this is a perfect opportunity to show Shouta some support. He leans closer. “So...what would you want in a boyfriend?”“I don’t want a boyfriend.”“What? Really? Are you sure?”“Well...” Shouta shifts uncertainly, not looking at Hizashi. “Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. There aren’t any other queer guys at UA.”Hizashi opens his mouth to say ‘there’s me!’ but nothing comes out. So he switches tracks. “That’s not true! There are a couple!!” Hizashi pauses, thinks. “But they’re...literally a couple...”To his surprise, Shouta snorts, then laughs, an actual full laugh, not just a quick snort or chuckle. He covers his mouth like he’s embarrassed, and his eyes crinkle, and he ducks his head, and it’s all indescribably, painfully cute. Hizashi flushes bright red before he dissolves in helpless laughter too.“That was a good pun,” Shouta finally says, smiling at him, and Hizashi’s heart skips a beat. Shit.“Well...I’m going to pretend it was intentional, then! I’m taking full credit!” Hizashi grins proudly. “Anyway, yeah, there’s those two, and then there’s that guy in the support course! But I’m pretty sure he’s straight, he’s just trans. So not directly relevant to your situation. But yeah, there are several out queer guys!”“Huh.” Shouta leans forward, tearing off a piece of the pretzel. “What about girls?”“Yep! There’s some queer girls, too! And like one nonbinary person? That I know about, anyway!”“I didn’t know that.”“Well, you don’t really pay attention!” Shouta makes a small noise of agreement. “So if you decide you wanna be like...out, and everything, you won’t be the first one!”Shouta shakes his head. “I probably won’t. There’s no logical benefit to that if I’m not even dating anyone. It’s not relevant.”Hizashi shrugs. “It’s your decision!” Besides, it would be hypocritical of him to encourage Shouta to be out when Hizashi himself is as terrified of the prospect as he is. Even though it kind of hurts to think about Shouta dating someone, he tries again. Shouta deserves to be happy. “You’re not limited to just guys that go to UA, though! There’s the whole rest of the city!”Shouta shakes his head. “I’d never see someone I didn’t go to school with. I just don’t have time.” Then he looks at Hizashi shrewdly. “Somehow I feel like this isn’t what people talk about on dates.”“Ah...” Hizashi rubs at the back of neck. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Sorry. It’s a fake date, but it should still be authentic!”“Right,” Shouta says, looking down at the table. “It is fake.” Maybe this was a bad idea. He’s supposed to be showing Shouta a good time, but he’s just driving home what he doesn’t have. Of course he wishes he could date someone for real, whatever he said.Hizashi opens his mouth, then closes it for once, leaning back. He isn’t really sure what to say that wouldn’t ring hollow, coming from someone who has casually dated the percentage of the school population that he has. Instead, he scoops up a sugar fish from the cake and examines it. “These are pretty cool. I wonder how they make them?”Shouta looks up to look at the fish. “I don’t know. Probably not by hand.”“Right,” Hizashi says, and he can’t contain his grin as he says, “because that wouldn’t be very e-fish-ent.” To his delight, Shouta snorts, lips twitching up in a smile. Hizashi leans in, grinning widely now. “Feel betta?”Shouta rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t manage to fight down his smile. “Hizashi, that was...eely bad.”A shocked laugh bubbles out of Hizashi’s chest. “You did one too! I never thought I’d sea the day!”Shouta smirks, self-satisfied. “Hey, if salmon else can do it, I can too.” Hizashi laughs for real this time, loud enough that people are starting to stare, but he doesn’t quite care.Hizashi wipes tears out of his eyes, still chuckling. “Okay, okay, we should definitely scale back the fish puns.”All it takes is Shouta’s quiet “Dolphinately,” before they’re both bent over the table, giggling uncontrollably.Hizashi tries to catch his breath, grinning giddily at Shouta, who smiles back. His heart is racing and he’s sure his face is flushed again, and that’s not just from laughing.Okay, yeah. Everything is going to be fine. Having a crush on Shouta is fine, because he never wants to stop feeling this fluttering in his chest, never wants to stop hearing him laugh.He’s got it so bad.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They manage to finish their food and leave of their own volition before they get kicked out for being too loud. That would have been a very annoying end to what is shaping up to be the best date Hizashi has ever been on. That’s a little disheartening to realize—this is pretend.They walk outside into the last parts of a sunset, a dusky blue sky and bright pink clouds, the glass on the buildings around them lit up gold. “Oh! Wow!” Hizashi hadn’t realized it was getting so late, that they had been here for so long. He pulls out his phone to take a picture, then grins. “Hey! We should get some pictures together! That’s very date-like!” He looks over at Shouta, who’s nodding, and slings an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. The pose is more friendly than romantic, and there are already pictures of them like this in Hizashi’s phone, but this still feels different. Now that he’s admitted it, now that he’s letting himself feel his feelings, he can fully appreciate how nice it feels to have Shouta’s side pressed up against his like this.Hizashi spins them around, so that the sunset is behind them. It’s dark, but their faces are lit up by the lights from the aquarium. “Smile!” he reminds Shouta, but to his surprise, he already is, and it looks pretty genuine. Hizashi flashes his own bright grin as he taps the button. He takes a few, just in case one of them blinked, and then, on an impulse, leans in and swiftly presses his lips to Shouta’s cheek as he presses the button one last time.“S-sorry!” he yelps, quickly stepping back. “I don’t know why I did that!”“It’s okay,” Shouta mumbles, hair falling back down around his bright red ears.Hizashi blinks, then can’t hold back a short laugh. “Wait—were you trying to erase my quirk??”Shouta glares at him. “I don’t know! You surprised me!”Hizashi laughs again, even though he’s still equally as embarrassed. He swipes through the photos. “These turned out really good!” He gets to the last one. “Oh my god, you were—look!” He turns the phone around. The picture is a tiny bit blurry, but it clearly shows Shouta’s hair flying up, his cheeks and eyes both matching red. “That is priceless.”“Shut up,” Shouta says, then reaches towards the phone. “Delete it.”Hizashi snatches it back, switching the screen off and stuffing it back into his pocket. “Hell no! I’m keeping that forever!” He coughs. “As blackmail material. Obviously.”Shouta is still red, but he smirks a little. “If we’re talking blackmail, I’m always going to win.”Hizashi suddenly covers his face. “Ugh, no.”Shouta’s smirk widens. “Yeah. Remember when you—”He sinks deeper, covering his face with his arms. “No!” He shakes his head emphatically. “Nobody remembers that!”“Oh, everybody remembers that.” Shouta looks positively evil, as Hizashi peeks through his fingers. “Especially with the video evidence.”“Fiiiiine,” Hizashi whines, pulling out his phone. “I’ll delete it! If you’ll delete that video!”“Don’t bother. I’m never deleting that.” Shouta turns and starts walking. “Come on, it’s getting dark.”Hizashi sighs, jogging a little to walk beside him. “You’re so mean to me.” He can’t help but consider it a fair trade, though—Shouta’s shocked face is hilarious, but it’s also adorable.“Stop making it so easy, then.” Shouta glances over at him, but ignores his pout.It’s completely dark by the time they’re standing in front of Shouta’s door. Hizashi fidgets a little, not wanting to leave just yet. Even though he’ll see Shouta again tomorrow morning. Once he leaves, the date will be over.Shouta doesn’t move to go inside yet. “What now?”Right, this is meant to be educational. Hizashi tries to think of it purely hypothetically. He imagines Shouta with another guy, one he’s on a real date with, but that makes jealousy bubble up, hot and dark, in the pit of his stomach, so he stops. “Well, uh...if the date went really well, and if you really liked me, then we might...kiss.”Shouta’s face is unreadable as he asks, “Did the date go well?”Hizashi rubs the back of his neck and laughs nervously, but there’s only one answer he can give. “Uh! Yeah, it did.”Shouta nods. “Okay.”“Okay?” Hizashi asks. Shouta is really close, now.“Yeah, okay,” Shouta says, not moving any closer. Shouta’s not going to kiss him, isn’t going to make the first move. Would it be weirder to kiss him or to not? It’s still fake—just like Shouta’s never been on a date, he’s also never kissed anyone. He probably just wants practice, so he doesn’t screw up his real first kiss with someone he actually wants to kiss. Hizashi is so nervous, and Shouta’s going to think he’s uncomfortable.Hizashi bites his lip and carefully rests his hand on Shouta’s cheek. He can do this. Hizashi slowly brings their faces closer together, and Shouta’s eyes flutter closed, and staring into his eyes was one thing but this is another completely. He can do this, it’s just a kiss, it’s just touching his lips to Shouta’s, it’s not even a big deal.It is such a big deal.Hizashi jerks back at the last second, pushing Shouta’s face away, scrambling to take a few steps backwards. “I—I can’t do this.”Hurt flashes across Shouta’s face for a split second before his entire face shuts down. “Okay.”“I’m really sorry!”“It’s fine, Hizashi. Thanks for the date.” Shouta turns away, reaching for the door.“Wait!” Hizashi almost shouts it, vibrating with tension, hands balled into fists at his sides. Shouta pauses, hand resting on the doorknob. “I’m—I’m bi.”“What?”Hizashi lets out a breath, words coming more easily now. “I’m bisexual. I like girls, I wasn’t lying, but—I like boys too. And everyone else.”Shouta turns to face him, but all he says is, “Oh.”“I’m not—I’m not uncomfortable with you being gay! I kinda freaked out when you came out because...I wanted to come out to you too. But I chickened out.”“That’s okay,” Shouta says. “It’s...hard.”Hizashi laughs in relief. “It really, really is! Coming out is so hard. You were so brave, though, I feel bad that I couldn’t say it when you could.”“You just did, though,” Shouta points out.“Yeah, I did!” Hizashi grins, because he did. He just came out to Shouta! Hizashi keeps saying things, now. That always seems to happen. “That’s why I couldn’t kiss you. Not because you like boys, but because I do. It wouldn’t be a big deal if I was straight, I think. This whole thing is fake, but if I kissed you, it would be...real.”“That’s...okay with me,” Shouta says, quietly, and most other people look away when they’re nervous but Shouta’s reaction has always been to stare people down. “If it’s okay with you.”Hizashi feels pinned in place by his eyes. “Um,” he squeaks, pretty sure his face is bright red. Hopefully it also has a neon sign flashing on it that says ‘please kiss me’ because he’s not sure he can get those words out. Shouta. Wants to kiss him? For real? What would it mean if he did?
Shouta
is
nervous, Hizashi
realizes, because even though he’s moving back towards Hizashi, even though he’s taking his hand, he hasn’t blinked in way too long. It’s a little unsettling.
Hizashi has never felt this tongue-tied before. Usually he can't shut up, but he can't seem to say anything now.Fuck it. He's supposed to be a hero, right? He can be braver than this.Hizashi leans down, just slightly, and brings their lips together.When he pulls back, Shouta says, “Do that again,” then immediately flushes bright red. They match, now. Hizashi doesn’t let the flash of panic on Shouta’s face have enough time to get comfortable before he’s leaning in again, because oh my god does he want to, and this time he brings one hand up to tangle in Shouta’s hair—it’s even softer than he thought it would be. When Shouta’s lips part under his, he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss a little.This time, when they part, they’re both a little out of breath, staring at each other. Shouta looks a little dazed, and he brings up a hand to touch his lips. “Wow.”Hizashi grins. “I know, right? Kissing is pretty fantastic, and that kiss in particular was...yeah, wow!”Shouta hesitates, rubbing his thumb against Hizashi’s hand. “Do you want to...do that again?”Hizashi bites his lip. Yes, but he needs to know what any of this means, needs to know: “Which part?”“The...date.”“Y-yeah! You want to??” And then, because it still isn’t clear enough, “For real? Like, not a fake date?”Shouta nods. “Yeah. Hizashi...I—”“I like you!” Hizashi blurts out. “I have a crush on you! Like, holy shit, the biggest crush, I was pretending I didn’t for so long but then I held your hand and I couldn’t ignore it any more and I—”Shouta shuts him up with another kiss, covering Hizashi’s mouth with his own. “I like you too. That’s what I was going to say.”“Oh! Good! I really hoped so, but I just didn’t wanna let you say it first, you came out first!”“Rude,” Shouta says, but smiles crookedly.“So...what now?” Hizashi echoes, matching his lopsided smile.“Now you go home and think of where you’re taking me next,” Shouta says, “And then tomorrow we figure out some way to tell Nemuri and Tensei about this.”“Ugh, yeah. Could we just...not? Talk to anyone? About anything, ever?”“I thought you liked talking,” Shouta says, then starts, “but if you really want to keep it a secret...”Hizashi sighs, then squares his shoulders. “No. No, you’re right, I want to tell them. Besides, I think they...pretty much already know?”“It’ll be okay,” Shouta says softly. “We’ll do it together.”They do. At lunch the next day, it’s surprisingly easy to say what he wants with Shouta’s hand wrapped around his underneath the table.Nemuri’s shriek is ear-splitting, and Tensei slowly raises his hands to the sky. “Dear god, finally.”Hizashi’s palms are still sweaty, but Shouta doesn’t let go of his hand. He runs his thumb soothingly over Hizashi’s knuckles, and he smiles.It’s all good.