Work Text
“Meet me at the warehouse,” Ed had spoken through the walkie talkie. “Alone. And make certain that you are not followed. I have something to show you. It's a surprise.”
“Ed?” Oswald asked into his own walkie talkie but the only answer back was static. And now he found himself standing outside the abandoned warehouse questioning his self preservation at meeting Ed alone like this after such a cryptic message.
If
Ed was planning to double cross him, take the treasure for himself, and steal the submarine they had built together this would be the perfect opportunity. Edward tugged on his leash and whined. “You'll protect your Papa, won't you, Edward?”
Edward promptly barked with his tongue rolling out the his mouth.
This was ridiculous. Ed was not planning to betray him. Ed needed him. Without him Ed would be one of the dead bodies piling up at the morgue with no one to take care of them. He shivered.
Ed was not dead, he told himself. He had only been unconscious. And Oswald had saved his life.
Yes, Ed owed him his life. If he could not have his love he would have his life and Ed would live because he willed it.
He used the key on the padlock to open the warehouse doors. It might take time to repair the trust between them but they shared something even stronger, they understood one another. He pushed the doors open and entered the warehouse.
He smiled at the sight of Ed's organized mess laying around the abandoned warehouse. Maps and blueprints lay across every surface of the tables and the floor. Pieces of scrap metal thrown discarded. His bed was a cot he had brought from his library hideout for the nights he did not come home.
Home, he realized he had started to think of Ed staying with him as home. Home had always been his mother. Now home was with Ed. The living area of the warehouse smelled of Ed, it reminded him of home.
Edward pulled on the leash and the bulldog bit down on a cloth doll Ed had made for him.
“Dogs need toys for mental exercise, they are much like human children in that regard,” Ed had explained before giving his namesake the toy. He had stood back looking at the dog playing with the toy with that gentle look on his face that Oswald knew so well but hadn't seen in awhile.
The doll reminded Oswald of a voodoo doll, and with its little suit and black hair it had an uncanny resemblance to a certain somebody.
“Training my dog to betray me, Ed?”
But Oswald only smiled.
He gave Edward a tug on the leash and walked towards the submarine, there were tarps covering the outside so it was difficult to judge how close to completion the boat was but he supposed Ed must be inside the compartment working. He stepped up the short ladder and knocked on the door Ed had placed on the side of the submarine for easy access on Oswald’s bad leg.
“Ed?” he called out. His walkie talkie sputtered to life.
“When is a door not a door?” Ed asked.
Oswald rolled his eyes, although it was in fondness. There was a comfort of familiarity to Ed's riddles that he had missed. And this one was almost too easy, he wondered if he should be insulted that Ed had gone so easy on him.
“When it is a jar,” he answered with his walkie talkie.
“Correct!” Ed opened the door.
Oswald had not seen Ed in almost a week and he had been worried that the man was working himself too hard. He was relieved to see Ed looked well. Almost too well, he tried not to ogle the other man. He was wearing a loose white tank top that revealed arms that had no reason to be so fit. It must have been all of the manual labor on the building of the submarine.
How he missed being held by those arms! But he feared that aspect of their friendship had been forever broken when he had the misfortune of falling in love with his best friend. And though he had tried to suppress it, he was still very much in love with. But that ship had sailed.
“I am not certain that even constitutes as a riddle,” he looked up at Ed. “Isn't that more of a joke? And one only fit for a child at that.”
“Riddles are often constructed by clever wordplay and puns,” Ed shrugged. “It is an oldie, but I thought it appropriate for the moment. Come onboard, Oswald. I have a surprise to show you.”
He doubted the surprise was a stripper pole and a surprise strip show, it was more likely to be a knife in the back. Or a wrench to the back of the head. But that didn't stop his imagination from running wildly away from him.
Edward lunged forward and jumped on Ed's legs, barking excitingly. Some guard dog he was, Oswald scowled. Ed bent down and picked the dog up, he held Edward in his arms facing Oswald. He couldn't decide if he was more jealous of which Edward, the dog or the human.
“Watch your step, there's a bit of a drop at the end of the stairs. I better carry the dog down,” Ed nuzzled Edward on the head. “Wouldn't want the big guy to break a leg, not many veterinarians left in Gotham.”
Oswald noticed the way Ed refused to call the dog by his name. He supposed it must be strange to me other man that his one-time friend, one-time enemy, the man who had fallen in love with him had named a dog after him. It had seemed the natural thing to do at the time. But Ed had seemingly grown fond of the dog that he shared a name with. It gave him a strange comfort to know that if something happened to him, at Ed's hands or not, someone would look after Edward for him.
He held the railing and made his cautious way down the stairs, Ed with Edward followed closely behind, and when his step faltered at the bottom Ed grabbed his arm to stop him from falling and pulled him up. He only allowed himself a moment to enjoy the feeling of being in Edward's arms before taking his dog back and pushing him away.
Oswald wasn't sure if he imagined the look of hurt disappointment on Ed's face, or if it was only there because he had taken Edward away from him. He decided it was best to ignore it either way.
The submarine seemed to be becoming along quite nicely, although the entire interior was covered in tarps. Other than that, there was nothing worthy of notice.
“Where is your surprise, Ed? I am extremely busy making plans for our escape. I need to get back.”
That
was a lie, the only thing that had kept him away was being busy avoiding Ed, and there was nothing, and more importantly
no one,
waiting back home for him. Anyone of any importance was here in the submarine.
“That's.. um, actually what I wanted to show you,” Ed walked past him and pulled the tarp off the front of the submarine. Oswald gasped at the reveal. “If you don't like it… I can take down the portrait and paint over the mural.”
“Ed… it's,” the emotion got stuck in his throat. “It’s lovely. I love it, Ed.” Oswald touched the portrait of his mother. Ed had even painted purple lilies around the portrait. “How did you… where did you find this?” He had thought it was lost after his run as mayor.
“It was placed in safe keeping after you, after I… it was put away with your other belongings when you were declared…,” Ed cleared his throat nervously. “I broke into the storage and took it back. I figured every ship needs a figurehead and well why not a submarine and what better figurehead for the S.S. Gertrud? Maybe it was a dumb idea. You hate it, don't you, you can tell me.”
Oswald felt lightheaded. Ed had called himself a cold logician and in many ways he was but then he was capable of such thoughtfulness such as this memorial to a woman he had never met but meant so much to Oswald.
Mother,
how could he but love him, he thought.
“It is perhaps the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” he turned to his friend. “She will surely guide us to a safe journey off of Gotham.”
“That's the second part of the surprise,” Ed smiled in his excitement. “The submarine is complete. We can leave tonight.”
“Tonight?” Oswald repeated. But he wasn't ready. There was still so much to do. He wasn't ready to leave Gotham!
“If we set off between midnight and two and we'll be on the mainland by noon tomorrow.” Ed grinned. “By this time tomorrow we'll be away from Gotham, isn't it exciting?”
“Have you
even
tested this thing yet?” he gestured around him. “How do you know it's even seaworthy? We need to run a test first. I can bring one of the my lackeys here and we can strap him in the sub and take it out to the open waters.”
“Too dangerous,” Ed frowned. “Too many people know about the submarine already.”
“We would of course kill them afterwards,” he rolled his eyes. But that did make him think, the submarine seemed smaller than he had imagined during the planning stages. “How many people can fit in here?”
“If you're asking my opinion, two and one dog.” Ed looked up. “Four, maybe five.”
“Barbara Kean will need to be contacted,” he said. It was a shame the girl, Selina, had betrayed his trust. The girl was a survivor, like him, and she deserved better than this island prison.
“You can't be serious about taking Barbara with us, Oswald. I thought you were just buying time.”
“Why not?” he shrugged. Kean would be a useful ally to have. Despite everything that had happened, he had nothing but respect for Ms. Kean. And she
was
carrying Jim Gordon's child. He owed it to him to get his child to safety.
“You killed the woman she loved. She wants you dead. You'll be trapped in a submarine together for hours.”
“If I remember correctly, she would not be the only person on the submarine who has tried to kill me for the love of a murdered woman,” he wanted to take the words back as soon as he said them.
Ed looked away. “I deserved that, I guess,” he said softly. “Oswald, when we get away from Gotham let's just… leave all that behind. I want us… to start again. Let this be a new beginning for us.” He looked at Oswald. “What do you say?”
“I…,” Oswald was at a loss for words. “I would like that.”
“I was thinking before we leave, we should have dinner together. Share our last meal in Gotham.” Ed seemed nervous.
“I think that would be a splendid idea, Ed,” he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up but with Ed he couldn't help it.
“Good,” Ed exclaimed. “How does eight sound? There's… something I wish to tell you before we leave Gotham.”
Fear gripped Oswald’s heart. This was too much like before, Ed would tell him he had fallen in love with another woman and she would be leaving with them. Barbara Kean! Maybe he had fallen in love with Barbara. He did seem overly interested in the baby she was carrying. And she was definitely his type. He should've had her killed before James Gordon knocked her up.
“Maybe you should tell me now,” he shrugged. Get it over with.
“No, it has to be… it has to be perfect,” Ed took Oswald’s arm. “It needs to be perfect.”
For one absolutely crazy moment Oswald thought Ed was actually going to kiss him, he even leaned in and then-
“Oh, man! Are you guys actually going to kiss? Gross.” Selina made a face. “It's like walking in on your parents, if I had any.” She hopped off the final step.
“Selina? How did you find us? How did you get in?” Oswald turned in shock.
“Isn't it obviously, Oswald? The kitten followed you.” Ed moved to Oswald’s side. “What do you want?” he hissed.
“Barbara told me about your plans. I want in.” Selina looked at her steel claws.
“Have you forgotten, you betrayed me, young lady!” Oswald blustered.
“First of all, I am not young lady, or kitten, you will address me as Cat,” she crossed her arms. “Second of all, I betrayed you to Barbara whom you have since made a partner, and thirdly we're rogues, it's what we do.”
“We don't have the room for you,” Ed lied. “And anyway, you'd only get in the way.”
“I can help,” she addressed Oswald instead of Ed.
“Do you have a license to drive a submarine?” Ed asked her smugly.
“No do you? No one likes a smart ass, Riddleman. Bite me,” she gave him the finger. “On second thought don't. I don't want you to bite me with the same mouth you bite him with, i might catch something.”
“Oswald, if she's coming, I'm not!” Ed pointed to Selina.
“And I want the same share of the goods he's getting,” she pointed at Ed. “What he offer you anyway, five, ten percent?”
“Fifty-fifty, half, and a two halves can't be split by thirds,” Ed spat out.
“Half?” Selina turned to Oswald. “He must be better than he looks.”
Children, he was surrounded by children. Oswald rubbed his temples.
“You have information on someone I am looking for,” Oswald stepped forward. “You may come with us but that is my price.” He put his arms out.
“If you think I'll let you hurt someone else I care about, Penguin-.”
“I've been looking for a friend, a
mutual
friend,” he told her. “Where is Ivy Pepper?”
“Ivy? What do you want with Ivy?” Selina backed down.
“That is no business of yours,” he waved her off. “Tell me where to find Ivy or leave, I care not.”
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “She's in Central Park. Just tell the plants you want to see Ivy, they will lead you to her.”
“Talk to the plants? You must take me for a fool!”
“It's the truth, believe it or not,” she shrugged. “Ivy has changed, you'll see. If she lets you out alive.”
Oswald sensed the girl was telling the truth. Ivy had always had a special relationship with plants.
“Very well, be here at midnight, or we leave without you.”
“Oswald, I must protest,” Ed grabbed his arm. “The girl and Barbara both want you dead. It will be two against one.”
“With you at my side, it will be two against two, wouldn't you say?”
Ed tightened his grip on Oswald’s arm. “One of which is a child, the other
with
child.”
Oswald sighed. “While I appreciate your concern Ed, it is both unwanted and unneeded.”
“I just… can't lose you, not when we're so close,” he bent down and touched foreheads with Oswald. “Not again.”
Oswald’s heart was pounding in his chest, he couldn't believe this was actually happening.
“Uh guys… still here,” Selina was bent down petting Edward. “Do you guys need me to take Junior here on a walk or something?”
“I should… we should go,” Oswald forced himself away from Ed. He couldn't do this again. “There are things I need to prepare if we are to leave tonight.” At least Selina had been there to keep him from doing anything stupid. “Come Selina, I will see you out.”
Ed held his arm out towards him, then dropped it. “Oswald, don't forget, dinner. Tonight at eight. And Oswald? Bring champagne to christen the submarine for luck.”
“Dinner, eight, champagne, got it,” he repeated. “Give Edward a bath before we leave, we wouldn't want to smell dirty dog the whole trip.”
He wanted to say more, he couldn't say more. He started to climb the stairs back out.
“Oh man,” Selina giggled. “You two are so married.” She followed behind Oswald.
XxXxXXxXxX
Oswald stopped in front of the overgrown plant life. This was the spot Selina had told him about. He touched one of the branches closest to him, he knew nothing about plants but he knew it felt wrong. Hot to the touch and it left a slimy residue on his fingers that burned. “I want to speak to Poison Ivy, Penguin is here to speak with Ivy.” He waited and at first nothing happened, then the plants parted before him.
“Enter,”
a sensual feminine voice called out to him.
“Leave all non organic items behind you and enter.”
He touched the walkie talkie hanging from his belt. There was a sudden urge to hear Ed's voice one last time and tell him how much he loved him. No, he would see him again. But he would tell him, once they were away from the poisonous influence of Gotham.
Oswald removed the walkie talkie and set it down on the ground, followed by a the handgun and knife he always carried on his person. He left his brace on, he figured Ivy could at least leave him with that. He entered the forest.
The path he was to follow was obvious, the plants sighed as they parted for him. And closed again behind him, trapping him in the park without weapons or communications. He wondered how long Ed would wait before accepting that something must have happened to him.
She stood in the middle of the clearing waiting for him. He stepped forward.
“Oswald, you should not have come,” she moved to meet him with a grace her younger self had not possessed. She bent her head and sniffed him, grimaced. “You stink of steel and oil, and lust. But not for me.” She winked at him.
Ivy
was
beautiful, in the way of a classic painting.
“Why have you come here, Oswald?” she frowned, and reminded him of the girl she was not so long before.
“I have come here to make amends, I was not…,” he swallowed. “I was not a very good friend to you. And for that I want to apologize.” She had saved his life, she had been his friend when he had none, and he had let her down when she needed him.
Ivy threw her head back and laughed. “You're too late. Why now?”
“We're leaving Gotham, tonight. And I did not wish to leave without asking your forgiveness,” he admitted. He blamed himself for what she had become. “And to ask you to come with us.”
“Us? Did you find new friends, Pengy?” she touched his face, her fingers had the same texture as the plants around them.
“Nygma has built a submarine. And we're taking Barbara Kean and Selina Kyle with us to the mainland tonight.” He sensed she was doing something to make him speak, although he did not feel the compulsion of her other male victims.
“Nygma,” her mouth twisted in an ugly shape. “It was always Edward Nygma, wasn't it? And now you have him again. That is the lust I smell on you, isn't it? His lust smells heavy on you. It stinks.”
“Nygma does not feel… that way about me, you must be mistaken,” he was getting sleepy, drowsy. “Come with us.”
“Why would I leave Gotham? Look around Gotham does not need saving from men. She is becoming who she is meant to be. Like me. I belong here,” she held his face and bent her head, her mouth was so close he could feel her breath on his. She smelled like something rotten, like the plants around them.
“But as a token of our
friendship,
I will give you a parting gift,” she released him and held up a vial in front of his face. “It is a love potion. Pour this into Nygma's drink and he will be your thrall for as long as he has breath.”
Oswald took the vial carefully. The dark green color of the liquid looked poisonous.
“Now leave. And do not return here. I will not be so forgiving next time.”
Poison Ivy waved her arm and the plants grew around her once again.
Oswald turned around and retraced the path out. He had come for Ivy Pepper, but she was gone. There was only Poison Ivy now.
XxXxXXxXxX
“Oswald, you're late,” Ed met him at the door to the warehouse. “I was worried.”
“My errand took longer than expected,” Oswald told him.
The truth was he had lost time in Ivy’s territory and it was much later than he had expected when he found his way out. He only had time to shower and change suits before grabbing a bottle of his best champagne to make it in time for dinner. He checked his pocket watch, he was only twenty minutes late. Ed had left him waiting a lot longer than that the last time they were to meet for dinner, he thought bitterly.
He saw Edward was asleep on the cot. And Ed had changed back to the green suit that fit his body like a bodysuit.
“I was afraid you had changed your mind,” he took Oswald’s arm and helped him down the steps. “Or that something had happened to you.”
“I did meet up with a beautiful woman that attempted to seduce me,” he teased Ed.
“What? You don't mean-,” Ed tightened his grip on Oswald’s arm. His eyes were wide behind their old fashioned frames.
“It was Ivy, Ed,” he chuckled. “It's not like that, Ivy was like a sister to me. I tried to get her to come with us.” Ivy had been like a sister, but Poison Ivy was a stranger.
“Did she agree?” Ed frowned, and Oswald thought he might've been a little jealous.
“No,” he sighed. “But we are not here to speak of beautiful women during dinner. And I brought the champagne.” He held the bottle and wine glasses out to Ed.
“Dinner is not much,” Ed led Oswald to the small plastic table he had put together for the occasion. He had at least covered it in a white cloth and placed a small vase of flowers as the centerpiece, he wondered if Ed knew the pretty flowers were weeds. “Just heated rations, when we get to the mainland I will owe you a real meal.” He pulled out the chair for Oswald.
“As long as you're cooking, that's a dat-.. deal,” he corrected quickly and hoped Ed did not notice the slip. He sat. Oswald had missed Ed cooking for him, the best meals he had ever had were the ones prepared by Ed.
He had missed this domesticity with Ed.
…
“Dinner was delicious,” Oswald put his fork down and pushed the paper plate away.
“It was hardly grilled steak and potatoes,” Ed chuckled. “Microwaved Spam and stale noodles is not what I would call delicious. You don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”
“Maybe it was just the company then,” he admitted. The menu was pathetic compared to the feast he had prepared for Ed back then, but made much better by sharing it with the man he had fallen in love with. It could never be more than this, he thought, but maybe it would be enough.
“And now for my news,” Ed got up from the table and placed a plain folder in front of Oswald. “Open the folder.”
Oswald didn't like surprises, he liked to know everything in advance, he liked to plan. And surprises from Ed especially made him nervous. He opened the folder slowly, a photograph of a boy on a playground was revealed.
“Martin,” Oswald whispered. “Where is he?” he touched his photo.
“On the mainland, not far from Gotham. He's in an orphanage.”
“How… did you get this?”
“I found this and the paperwork in Mr. Penn's suitcase,” Ed handed him the papers showing the location of the orphanage and Sophia Falcone’s signature. “We can retrieve him when we make our way across.”
“I feared he was… that I had lost him,” he looked up at Ed. “You found Martin for me.” He took Ed’s hand.
“Well, technically all I did was find the paperwork,” Ed blushed but smiled.
“Nonsense,” he shook his head. “I cannot thank you enough for this gift you have given me.” He had both Ed and Edward and now he would soon have Martin as well, it was almost too much. He got up to his feet and hugged him without thinking. “Thank you my
friend.”
My
love,
he thought.
Ed pushed away. “How about we open the champagne to celebrate? A toast to our future.” He handed Oswald the bottle. “Open the bottle and pour the glasses, I'll give the dog the leftovers.” He took their plates away.
He would have to be more careful in the future. He could not lose Ed again, even if it meant never truly having him in the way he wanted. And then what? Would Ed be content with just that? Or would he find another Kristen, another Isabella, or even another Lee? He remembered Ivy’s words and the vial in his pocket.
Ed would be his thrall. He would never lose him again. He would finally be his.
It was an attractive thought. But could he actually go through with it?
Oswald got the bottle open and poured out the champagne into the wine glasses. Quickly before Ed returned he opened Ivy’s vial and poured it into the glass farthest away from him. He hid the empty vial in his pocket.
“I think you have that dog spoiled, Oswald,” Ed returned. “He'll eat nothing but filet mignon now.”
Maybe he
had
spoiled Edward. “You will both eat steak every night if you wish,” Oswald promised him.
“Maybe not
every
night,” Ed chuckled. “A toast to friendship,” he picked up the drugged wine glass. “And a new start.” Ed brought the glass up to his lips.
Friendship.
He had lost Ed's friendship once, he couldn't lose it a second time. Even if he gained his heart's desire. “Wait!” he stopped him from drinking.
“Oswald? Is something the matter?” he stopped.
“No, nothing at all,” Oswald chuckled. “I believe you took my drink by mistake, here we'll switch.” He took Ed’s glass and gave him his own, untainted, glass. “To friendship,” he toasted Ed and lifted the glass to his mouth.
If
he were already in love with Ed, perhaps the potion would have no affect on him. And if it did, maybe there were worst things than being a thrall to the man he loved.
“Oswald, I must confess,” Ed took his hand. “I did all this tonight to tell you something. I think that I am in love with you. In fact, I'm rather certain of it. And I needed to know if you still felt the same way.”
“As a friend?” Oswald asked carefully.
“Yes,” Ed blushed. “And more, if you would still have me.”
“In what way?”
“In any way you would have me,” he answered. “May I kiss you, Oswald?”
He looked down at the drink in his hand. Had there been a mix up and Ed had gotten the drugged drink by mistake? But no, neither of them had taken a drink.
“I… apologize, I thought you still, I mean I must have read things wrong,” Ed let go of his hand. “This won't change our plans. We'll go our separate ways when we get to the mainland-.”
Oswald grabbed Ed's lapel and pulled him down into a kiss before he could say more. He had not had many kisses, or any really, but he couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else but Ed. And luckily for both of them Ed knew what he was doing. Oswald backed into the table and knocked into something-
Ed pulled away. “We knocked over the champagne. Now we don't have anything to christen the submarine with.”
“There's more than one way to christen the submarine,” Oswald winked and pulled Ed into another kiss.
They had a few hours before the others arrived.