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"You know he'll be here today?""Yes... and I'll make him regret it..."Seungmin grinned cheekily and finished applying the tinted lip gloss on Hyunjin's lips."I know you will, Hyunjinnie... he'll regret everything he's done to you. And he'll want you back. Too bad you're mine now and I won't let him have you anymore..."Hyunjin chuckled. He had no intentions to go back to Changbin. Not after everything that had happened.This would be the last time he would let him interfere with his life, the last time that he would waste a thought on him. This would be the end of it.Even though, everything had started as a dream.--- ⏪ ---Hyunjin was excited to start university. He had had long talks with his parents until they finally agreed on him to follow his passion: dance.And now the day was here at last.He walked into the big building in front of him, looking for the room number that was written on the piece of paper in his hand.It took him a moment to find the right door but eventually he managed and knocked. And knocked. And knocked.Nobody opened.Hyunjin made sure again that the room number was the one written down, even checked his mails again.0325.It was correct.He sighed and turned to leave when all of sudden the door swung open and a disheveled, half-naked, young boy with dyed blue hair opened the door.If Hyunjin had to guess they were probably the same age. Which was strange because he had been told that his roommate would be his senior."Hi... I'm Hwang Hyunjin... are you... are you Minho-hyung?", he eventually asked when he found his voice again over the very awkward situation.The boy in front of him blinked a few times before turning around."Minho!!! Your new roommate is here! We overslept!"Hyunjin quickly checked his clock. It was half past eleven. He was actually half an hour late.He jumped when he heard a loud "fuck" from inside the small apartment.The blue-haired boy chuckled."Come in. I'm not Minho. I'm Han Jisung. His boyfriend. Pleasure.", he said while stepping aside, obviously trying to lift the awkward atmosphere.Hyunjin closed the door behind himself the moment another boy walked into the small living room - his roommate apparently."Hi! Sorry! I didn't hear my alarm clock! I'm Minho! Welcome!", he introduced himself hastily before shooting glance towards Jisung."God damit Jisung! Get dressed!"Jisung simply lifted one of his eyebrows."That's not what you said yesterday, but okay.", he grinned and hurried into the room to their left.To say Hyunjin was confused and overwhelmed was an understatement. He hadn't expected meeting his roommate for the first time to go like this."Oh God.. I'm so sorry... Hyunjin right?"Hyunjin simply nodded. As awkward as everything was he was sure that sharing the apartment with Minho would be fun."Is... he living here too?""No. But he's here more than he's not... I hope that's okay for you. I mean... he and I... you know... ", Minho said and Hyunjin could see that he was uncomfortable and insecure.He smiled."Yeah. Don't worry, hyung... I'm gay, too... so I'm actually glad I won't have to hide it here."Minho sighed in relief."Oh thank God. I was so worried in the last few days. Anyways, let me show you your room. And if you want to I'll show you around campus later. It's your first day, isn't it?"----An hour later Minho and Jisung were walking around the campus with him, showing him the most important buildings and places. The three of them had clicked instantly and Hyunjin felt really comfortable around them.He had learned that Minho was studying dance, too. And the older had already promised to help him with his schedule for the upcoming semester and would help him wherever he could. He knew how hard it was to start without guidance and he didn't want to let Hyunjin go through that.Jisung on the other hand was studying music production and was rapping. Hyunjin thought that he didn't look like a rapper in the slightest. He was too cute for that.When he voiced that thought Minho just laughed, agreeing that he looked more like a squirrel than a rapper but that he was indeed one - even one of the best around here.Hyunjin still couldn't believe it. And that's why Jisung decided to go to the studios with them.“Chan and Changbin are there today. I'll show you a few things that will change your mind!”, he mumbled. He didn't seem to be mad though, according to Minho he was used to people underestimating him.If Hyunjin had known that this would be his downfall he would have never done so; or agreed on going to the studios.Because as soon as he had laid eyes on the rapper that was introduced to him as Changbin he was a goner.----It hadn't taken them long to get together. Hyunjin couldn't be happier. He had the time of his life. His studies weren't easy but he had found great friends in no time and he had an amazing boyfriend. For him, it was perfect.But far too soon the harsh reality hit them. The demise started. The rose-tinted glasses vanished.They started to fight, brought out the worst in each other.At first they tried to fix it. They talked about it; often the whole night. But it didn't work.It got ugly. And the inevitable happened.They broke up.As far as Hyunjin knew neither he nor Changbin did ever talk about it in detail with any of their friends. They only knew it had been bad.Hyunjin also stopped meeting with their friends, only adding to the already torn feeling they had. It was his fault anyways. He had been the last who came into this group so it felt only natural for him to retreat.Minho however wasn't having it.“You're part of this clique too, Hyunjin! You can't just not meet us anymore!”“I can. In fact, I'm doing it right now.”Minho rolled his eyes.“Smartass. You're still our friend, though! Chan is worried. He hasn't seen you since before the breakup.”Before Hyunjin could answer Jisung interrupted him.“Don't start with the “You don't want to make us choose” again. You don't. It's our decision with whom we want to be friends. And we decided on both of you. You may not like it. And Changbin may not like it. But that's how it is. We'll make it work, Hyunjinnie…”Hyunjin looked at him, watching the sad smile spread across his face. He sighed.“I'll try… just… give me time okay? I'll eventually go with you again but… not today…”His answer seemed to satisfy the couple in front of him. “Okay… good… take the time you need. But don't forget we're by your side.”, Minho said while hugging him tight.“Should we get you anything on our way back?”Hyunjin shook his head.“No… I'm studying with Felix later and we'll probably get take out as always…”Little did he know yet that they wouldn't be studying at all.Because life was a rollercoaster and Felix had decided to bring a friend along. He met him.--- ⏩ ---“Hyung!!”Hyunjin looked up when he heard Jeongin's familiar voice. He smiled.“Innie! What are you doing here?”The younger hugged him.“I wanted to wish you good luck! I can't wait to see your stage! I'm sure it will be amazing!”Hyunjin chuckled.“Thank you… I'm glad you could make it.”He really was. Jeongin was one of his best friends. They did have their hard times though. Because as well as they got along now it had looked like they'd never talk to each other again.After all, he was also his ex-boyfriend.--- ⏪ ---Felix had introduced them. They were friends and had met in a lecture, even though Jeongin studied voice and was a year behind them. But he was interested in dance, too, and wanted to have a look at it.Hyunjin was fascinated by the younger boy. He was beautiful and so, so sweet.This time however it took him longer to fall in love.Jeongin was different from Changbin. Nothing was rushed, they took their time, went on dates, talked through the nights.When he felt the younger's lips on his for the first time, he felt like he would explode with happiness.It was soft and slow.Hyunjin was happy again. He spent every free minute he had with the younger and enjoyed their time together.But life was still a rollercoaster. And when it goes up it inevitably has to go down again.He noticed when he came back after the semester break. Jeongin behaved differently. More cautious.They were sitting on Hyunjin's bed when he finally found enough courage to address the elephant in the room.“Did anything happen while I was gone…? You're… you're so different… did I do something wrong..?, he asked, unconsciously pressing Jeongin closer to him. He felt the younger tense up.“I… no…”, Jeongin shook his head and sat up, directly facing him now.“It's not your fault… I think… I met someone…”Hyunjin froze.And Jeongin panicked.“It's not what you think! I didn't cheat! There are no feelings involved… but… he seemed to know you. And he told me so many things. And now I'm so confused… because… this didn't sound like you at all but he was convincing-... I'm so sorry-... I don't know if I can do this anymore-...”Jeongin had started crying and Hyunjin wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms. But he was still too shocked.“What did he tell you…? Who was that…?”The younger shook his head. “Jeongin! You're breaking up with me! You could at least tell me who's responsible for this-...!”He hadn't noticed that they had stood up.“I'm so sorry, hyung-..”The honorifics gave Hyunjin the rest. It broke his heart. It really was over.He put his arms around himself and averted his gaze, sobbing heart-wrenchingly.“Go-... please go, Jeongin-...”And he did. But before he left for good he turned around again.“He said his name is Changbin… I'm sorry…”Hyunjin looked up in shock. But Jeongin was already gone. He felt the rage dwell in his chest. And let it out.He screamed until his voice gave out and falling onto his knees, crying even harder than before.Minho was by his side in an instant, pulling him into his arms and holding him close.
Looking at his and Jisung's face behind him they had probably heard everything, his door had been slightly ajar.“It's okay… it's going to be okay…”, the older whispered but Hyunjin shook his head.Nothing would be okay.“This is his fault!! He can't be with me!! But he also can't me with someone else!! Why?! Why can’t he let me be?!”--- ⏩ ---It had been over a year and a half. Hyunjin didn't blame Jeongin anymore. He had been young and had been easily influenced by others.Hyunjin had taken his time but eventually they met again and had talked it out. They decided to try as friend again. And it worked. Even better than before. The dancer knew he could talk to Jeongin about everything.He had even told him about Changbin. Who he was and what had happened between them. Jeongin had felt miserable at first. But Hyunjin had assured him that it was okay now, that it should not have been. Minho's voice pulled him out of his thoughts again.“Five minutes, Hyunjin! Hurry!”He nodded and Minho went back towards the stage. The older dancer had finished his studies half a year ago but he had stayed as a dance instructor to earn his first money.He had to move out of their shared apartment, though, because the dorms were only for students. Hyunjin was sad at first but Minho suggested that Seungmin could move in - and he did.Hyunjin looked at his boyfriend and smiled. They had met over a year ago thanks to Minho and he was still thankful for it.Seungmin looked at him and smiled back.“You can do it. Jeongin and I will get a good seat to watch and we'll meet you here again after the performance…”“Okay…”Seungmin pulled him close again and kissed him softly. “I love you…”“I love you, too…”When he heard Minho shout his name again, Hyunjin turned around. Only to feel a slap on his ass.He looked back at Seungmin who was grinning from ear to ear.“It's your stage, babe. Make it your bitch!”--- ⏪ ---“Please, Hyunjin… I don't want to go alone…”, Minho was begging.“I'm not in the mood for partying, hyung…”“But you can't stay here forever! It has been months! Please! Jisung ditched me over university work!”Hyunjin sighed.“Fine. But I'm not dolling up or anything. And I'll only stay for an hour!”He didn't know yet that he wouldn’t stay true to his words. He would stay until the next morning, talking to Seungmin and forgetting all his worries.But before that he had regretted his decision to go out.It was loud and there were too many people.He looked around the living room they were standing in, listened to the music and started to watch the people around him, slowly sipping his beer.Until his gaze lingered on the couch.“Hyung? Didn't you say 3Racha had to work in the studio and that’s why Jisung stood you up…?”“Yep. Why?”“Then why is Chan heavily making out with someone on the couch…?”Minho followed his eyes.“What the fuck…?”, he whispered, before checking his phone.“Jisung wrote me. Apparently they finished earlier than expected and are here now…”Hyunjin looked around, feeling uneasy. Which only got validated when he saw Jisung walking towards them through the crowd, dragging Changbin behind him. He froze slightly. They still were not on good terms with each other, especially not after what had happened with Jeongin. Minho had promised him he wouldn't have to see him here.“I gotta go!”, he said and hastily turned around, walking directly into another guy and drenching his shirt with beer.“Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you! I'm sorry!”, he apologised profusely.The boy in front of him was still looking at his now wet shirt before looking up, meeting Hyunjin's eyes.Hyunjin blushed slightly. He was beautiful.“I'll make it up to you okay? I'll pay for cleaning it! I'm so sorry!”“It's fine. But instead of making it up by paying for the cleaning you could ask me to a drink now?”, the boy with the dark cherry-dyed hair smirked.Hyunjin blinked and looked around. He didn't seem to be with anyone.“Are you alone here?” Smooth Hyunjin. He wanted to plant his face into the wall next to him.The boy chuckled.“More or less. My friend Woojin brought me here but he's currently attached to someone else's lips on the couch. So, actually I was about to go home. But I wouldn't mind another drink now. I'm Seungmin by the way.”Hyunjin felt his cheeks heat up.“Hyunjin… and another drink sounds good. Otherwise, I'll probably die of embarrassment within the next few minutes…”He quickly shot a glance at Minho who was just grinning at him and nodding, ignoring both rappers next to him.The dancer chuckled silently and followed Seungmin into the kitchen before they looked for a quieter place to sit and talk.And they did talk. A lot. Hyunjin felt comfortable around him. He was funny but also so damn sarcastic.He learned that Seungmin was only a few months younger than him and that he studied voice. He learned that his favourite band was Day6, that his favourite season was autumn and that he was a slight cleaning maniac.When the sun slowly started rising in the sky Hyunjin felt sad. He had enjoyed it and he didn't want to go home and leave SeungminHe looked at the singer. And decided he didn't want fate to decide this time.“Can we meet again? I really enjoyed this…”The younger smiled at him.“I'd love to…”He pulled out his phone and let Hyunjin type in his phone number and kakao talk contact. He let Seungmin do the same.They met again a few days later, which quickly started to become a weekly habit that slowly turned into dates.And before Hyunjin knew it was summer and Seungmin kissed him for the first time.He felt like melting against the younger while kissing him back. His lips were soft and he tasted like the strawberries they had been eating. It was perfect.And still, he was afraid that the rollercoaster would go down again. It always did.It only took a few weeks this time.“Do you know someone called Changbin?”Hyunjin froze. Not again.“Yes… he's my ex…”, he started and and everything poured out of him. How they had met. How it had ended. How he had influenced Jeongin.Seungmin listened to in silence, only occasionally nodding.“It's okay if you… want to break up… I can understand…”, Hyunjin looked at his hands. Why couldn't Changbin let him be?He looked up again when Seungmin scoffed.“Hyunjinnie… I couldn't care less what he has to say. Besides, everyone has a darker side. Nobody's perfect. There's a reason why Woojin has me saved under ‘Spawn of Satan’ in his phone.”He smiled at the dancer, gently taking his hands into his own.“I love you… with your good and bad sides. That’s what makes you yourself… and that's how I love you the most.”Hyunjin started to cry again. But this time because he was happy. Because in this moment he knew that Seungmin was his forever. That he was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That he was the love of his life that he had been waiting for so long.--- ⏩ ---Hyunjin took a deep breath and looked at Minho.“Ready?”, his hyung asked and he nodded.“More than ever.”He stepped onto the stage, his gaze on the floor. This was his stage. His moment. His chance to pay Changbin back without anyone noticing, except for the people involved. The music started playing and he looked up, directly focusing his ex-boyfriend in the crowd, his expression not changing when he turned around in time with the beat.
You've been runnin' round, runnin' round, runnin' round throwin' that dirt all on my name
'Cause you knew that I, knew that I, knew that I'd call you up
I know that dress is karma, perfume regret
You got me thinking 'bout when you were mine, oh
And now I'm all up on ya, what you expect?
But you're not coming home with me tonight
You just want attention, you don't want my heart
Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new
Yeah, you just want attention, I knew from the start
You're just making sure I'm never gettin' over you