Work Text
——————-
It was at night that Ben Solo dreamed of the jungle.
The jungle was spacious, lush, with plenty of room to no doubt explore, or to play in. Even as Ben looked around it, he couldn’t help but be impressed by how tall the trees really loomed — how they seemed to touch skies, how they seemed to tower. Ben hadn’t thought there would actually be trees on a planet. Trees that seemed to go for miles. Loom over him for miles, even.
Ben didn’t know what was going on, but he was looking for someone.
There was something about the forest that seemed to go on forever even as Ben wandered through it. Almost like a tunnel full of trees. Like they were both expanding and narrowing forever, towards a certain destination.
He continued through the forest until finally, after too long, he saw someone. A child, he couldn’t help but realize, with messy black hair and bright brown eyes. He was a little disheveled from playing outside, and Ben couldn’t help but wonder what that was like...
”What are you doing out there?” Ben finally said.
The boy smiled, a little cockily. “I live here. This is Yavin.”
Ben squatted next to the young boy. He couldn’t have been any older than nine years old, Ben couldn’t help but think. So too very little, actually. So too very vulnerable.
”What’s your name?” Ben said.
”Poe!” the boy chirped. “Poe Dameron! What’s your name?”
”Ben.”
The boy grinned. “Come on! I wanna show you something.”
Ben followed Poe through the forest, through the looming trees, and it was there that Ben could swear that he heard the voices. Faint chants, chants to hail the Empress. There were other younglings as Ben followed Poe — most of them were dressed in Jedi robes. For some reason. And ahead was Ben’s mother, standing with Taral with his strange, wolf-like mask. Ben couldn’t help but feel a certain chill seeing those images all but juxtaposed together.
”This is where she saves us,” Poe said, still in that chirpy nine year old voice.
Ben looked at his mother, dressed in the Empress’ white and silver robes, and he couldn’t help but be afraid.
His mother smiled at him all the while. “I’ve crossed galaxies to find you, Ben...”
It was in the Resistance Base on Crait that Ben Solo woke, feeling that same chill that had haunted the dream he had. A dream, or a vision? He wished that he could say. Ever since he had learned about being bonded to Taral Ren of all beings, everything was simply confusing. Yes, confusing was the right word. He wanted to think of Taral as a monster, not...not his Bond mate.And then there was the boy Poe. Poe Dameron. He couldn’t say if Poe was real, or someone he had just made up in his head. Dreams were peculiar like that. He knew that Rey had dreamed of an island in the past and had come to rely on that island in order to help her sleep. Dreams could be a whole warped jumble of things coming together at once, after all.Ben doubted that he could really get back to sleep. Not when his dreams were just so unspeakably weird. A whole jumble of things that he couldn’t quite put together. Maz still had his training laid out for him, of course. Two days had passed since he had learned that he and Taral had a Force Bond, and Ben was still learning about the ways of the Force. Not the Jedi, per se, but definitely the Force. (Maz wasn’t a Jedi, not really, but she knew the Force too well) Even as Ben pulled up the bits of history Maz assigned for him to read on his datapad, he couldn’t help but have his mind still wander towards his dream, and what it could have meant.***“You must pay attention, young Solo,” Maz said, though there wasn’t any true reprimand in it. They were already going over the dustier texts, large books that were almost dusty in nature. Even trying to absorb some of the old words, Ben couldn’t help but think about the strange dream that he had. “Sorry,” he finally said. “Is there something on your mind?””Weird dream.” “A vision?”Ben shrugged. “No idea. I mean...do Jedi ever just have weird dreams? Nothing about seeing the future, just...weird?””Occasionally,” said Maz. “I think I had one of those.” Ben said. “I saw my mother.”Maz actually looked sorrowful in that moment. “Maz?” Ben said. “I think,” Maz said, “You should get back to your studies.”***It was later that Lando called them all in for a meeting. Ben was almost relieved — even trying to memorize all the clunkier stuff in the texts was enough to make his head start dully throbbing. He sat with Rey, who looked pretty tired as well. “You all right?” he said to her. “Fine. Just...weird dreams.” Ben smiled wanly. “You too, huh?””Yeah. What were yours about?””Just...” How would Ben really explain the child in the forest, he couldn’t help but wonder. The face of his mother. “Weird.”Rey nodded. “How’s the Jedi training?”Ben shrugged. “Lots and lots of reading.”Rey laughed, softly. “A little boring?””A little. But don’t tell Maz.”Lando cleared his throat, and the chatter died down from all sides. “As you well know,” Lando said, “We’ve had some pretty interesting developments in the past few days. One of them being finding Luke Skywalker. For those not in the know, after the destruction of his Academy on Yavin IV, Luke went into hiding. Now, we may have a lead in the form of Lor San Tekka, who has the last piece of the map to Skywalker’s whereabouts." Lando paused. “We’ve also been getting information from an inside source from the First Order. Claims to be a stormtrooper who was at the Battle of Jakku. For right now, he wishes to remain anonymous, but he says that the Empress is hunting Force Sensitives to either kill or convert.” Lando was grim. “We’ve had information that corroborates that. Whether or not it’s a trap by the Empress, I’m not sure, but what he’s been saying lines up.”Ben could hear everything in the Force — and now, he heard his father’s fear, his anguish, along with snippets of thoughts like how could she — why his father would actually be surprised that the Empress would do something like this, Ben didn’t know. Lando continued. "According to him, the Empress has many resources at her disposal. Beasts intended to hunt Force Sensitives, assassins, stormtroopers, including ‘upgraded’ ones, the Knights of Ren, Taral Ren, and more. He says that he’s only heard talk, but everything Resistance intelligence has gathered lines up with what he says.”Ben raised his hand. “What does he mean by ‘upgraded’?””Stormtroopers that go missing,” Lando said. “According to him, they’re not themselves when they come back. Some of them apparently go through a conversion process to make them deadlier, more aggressive. It’s a result of Phasma ‘enhancing’ the...reconditioning process.” Lando said “reconditioning” with a certain amount of venom. Then, more calmly, “We have a lot of work to do, to say the least. We need to find Lor San Tekka, and we need to double down on fighting the Empire. Take down their facilities however we can. The Empire’s clearly reprehensible, and we aren’t just fighting to stay alive. We’re fighting so that everyone else has a chance for a better tomorrow.””So we just blow them up?” another Resistance member said. “We free the stormtroopers. Then we pretty much cleanse the bases with fire. Of course, infiltration won’t be easy. That,” Lando said, “Is why we need a plan. Our informant actually leaked the schematics of the places, and apparently they’re highly secretive, reclusive places on Imperial-friendly worlds that have a security system that needs to be shut down before you can enter. And then you’ve got mines, things of that nature. We’re going to need highly skilled infiltrators. Han...you up for the challenge?”Han nodded. “It’s the right thing to do,” he said, “And we’ll strike a blow to the Empire in the process. I’m taking Jess and Paige with me, and Rey — they’re good at infiltrating.”Lando nodded. “Good luck, Han.””No problem.”***It was after the meeting that Maz spoke to Ben. “We’re going to need to intensify your training,” she said. “If anyone else comes after you, you need to be ready.”Ben nodded. “I thought that.””How much do you know about dueling?” Ben shook his head. “I’ve brawled. There’s a difference.””Then it’s not too late to start,” Maz said. “We’ll fight with staffs, as that’s what you’re most familiar with. Come now.”They headed towards the sparring room, where Maz took a staff from the wall and spun it around. Then, they fought. Ben had to admit Maz was good — she was practically a whirlwind in that moment, spinning about like the winds of a sandstorm. Ben could barely keep up. Even though the duel ended with him flat on his back, though, Maz smiled. “You fought well,” she said. “I say keep practicing, of course, but you’re doing well.”Ben stood. He had to admit he was a little sore, really. Well, more than a little. “We’re going to have to find the Knights, of course,” Maz said. “Including Taral. For now...I say keep practicing.”***It was after Ben had gotten into his sleep clothes that he felt a strange tug — the tug that he’d become a bit more familiar with, actually. He turned around, only to see Taral, unmasked — he must have been getting ready for sleep as well. (Well, that answered the question if he even slept in his mask) Ben didn’t have to ask what Taral wanted. In a way, he supposed, Taral didn’t have any more control of the bond than Ben did. “You still want to kill me,” Taral said.”Keep you and your Knights from harming others,” Ben said. “Not kill you. Jedi don’t kill.”Silence. ”You know,” Taral said, “We don’t have to be enemies."”It’s not like you left me any choice.””Still,” Taral said, “I certainly don’t hate you as much as you hate me.”Ben wished he did. Even the prospect of the opposite was enough to make his skin prickle. Taral continued. “Maz isn’t the right teacher for you. She might not be a Jedi, but she’ll brainwash you all the same.””I’m not brainwashed,” Ben said. Taral raised an eyebrow. “I joined the fight because you drove me to it.””Still...think about it. Am I really evil, Ben? Am I really the monster that you think I am?” A beat. “Just think about it.”The bond cut off at that moment, and Ben could still say for certain that the answer to that question, both these questions, was yes.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
————————-It was Lando who assigned Maz (and Ben, if only so Maz could complete his training) with finding Lor San Tekka. “Paige, Jess, Rey and your dad are on their way to infiltrating the stormtrooper complex,” he said. “They’ve got the necessary supplies from Madine. Hopefully freeing these troopers and blowing those facilities to hell goes off without a hitch.”Ben nodded, grimly. “I hope so too.” A beat. “Where is Tekka?””Nar Shaddaa, last I heard,” Lando said. “Which makes sense. Nar Shaddaa is the place you go if you don’t want to get caught.”Maz nodded. “We had best be careful, of course,” she said. “You never know if the Empress has spies on Nar Shaddaa. There’s also been talk of a bounty on Jedi being restored.””Great,” Ben said, sarcastically. Maz nodded grimly. “We’ll have to be cautious, of course. Stay as inconspicuous as possible.” A beat. “Watch your step, of course. Nar Shaddaa is not for the faint of heart.”***Saying that Nar Shaddaa was noisy when they landed (using a borrowed Resistance ship called the Blue Hawk) was like saying a Jakku sandstorm was a bit dusty — it was both obvious and an understatement. It was like drowning in other people’s thoughts, people going about their lives, people wishing for something more, things like that. Ben rubbed his temples blearily. “This planet,” he said. “It hurts. There’s so many people there, and so many voices...””Breathe, young one. Concentrate. Use the Force.”Ben inhaled, deeply. He concentrated, and somehow, he swore he could find the eye of the storm. He could breathe, at least. His head was throbbing a little less. “Doesn’t it overwhelm you?” Ben said to Maz. “Not too much. But after Jakku’s quiet, I can understand where it would overwhelm you.”They spoke with the Toydarian dock master, and they passed on through. On the streets were people in rags, people walking about, talking about various bits of news coming through Nar Shaddaa, and vendors selling things. It almost reminded Ben of Jakku, he couldn’t help but think. Jakku, if it were city instead of desert. “We’re going to have to look for our wayward contact somewhere,” Maz said. “The vendors should be a good place to start, naturally — that way we can also get what we need.”One of the vendors was a young woman who looked no younger than Ben. “It’s not much,” she said. “But it’ll help protect you on the streets.””Thank you,” Ben said. Then, “I was actually wondering if you’d seen an old man. Short-cropped beard, a bit of a wanderer from what I heard.” At least according to Tekka’s profile, from what Ben had read of it on their hyperspace travel to Nar Shaddaa. “That’s a little vague,” said the young woman. “I’m sure that there’s a lot of wandering old men on Nar Shaddaa nowadays.””This one’s kind of special. He’s a member of this...church. It was a bit of a resistance against Palpatine’s Empire during his rule.””Huh,” said the young woman. “Now we’re getting somewhere. I say that if I were looking for someone like that...I’d probably be somewhere where I could resist. Or hide. He might be down in the refugee sector; it’s a good bet as any.””Thank you,” Ben said. They paid for their equipment and left. And heading towards the door where the refugee sector was, Ben found that their search for Tekka was going to be interesting. *** Nar Shaddaa was practically humming with noise. Taral could only assume that Tekka had found a good place to hide there. It had been thanks to what the Empress had taught him that Taral had found out where Ben was — that and their Bond. Nar Shaddaa had been a cluster of noise and ruckus, but Taral could figure it out just the same. Taral didn’t wear his mask this time. The mask would only make him stand out. He had to admit that he felt effectively naked without it. Anyone could see the man, and not the symbol. You were supposed to see the symbol, according to the Empress. You weren’t supposed to be the being beneath. The dockmaster, of course, was amiable enough, at least until he was stupid enough to say, “You look a little like that Poe Dameron fella. Y’know, from the fleet?””The resemblance,” Taral said evenly, and he was tempted to throttle the Toydarian, “Is a coincidence.””Ah. Okay.” The Toydarian tittered nervously. “Pleasure doing business with ya!”He fluttered away. Taral sighed. He drew up his hood, carefully avoiding others on Nar Shaddaa who seemed to find the sight of someone who could easily pass for another refugee nothing unusual, really. It was once he got to the Refugee Sector that he put his mask back on. Becoming the symbol once more, not the man. Time to get to work. ***The refugee sector was better, according to Maz, than when the Jedi Exile Arawn Sinn had first shown up, but Ben wouldn’t deny that it was a pretty grim place to be. People in rags, babies crying...it was almost like Jakku. A more urban Jakku, that is. It was speaking with the leader of the Refugee Sector, an old woman named Zarra, that she gave them the background that they needed. Apparently, she’d been taking care of different refugees who had come through here for quite some time, including refugees of the Empire.”I’m not here to talk politics, though,” Zarra said. “Mostly, I just want to make sure my people are safe.””A noble goal,” Ben said.”And you, young man...you look like you’re looking for someone. Or a place to hide.”“Have you seen a man who may be a member of a...church?” Ben said. “He passes through here occasionally,” said Zarra. “Occasionally stays a while to chat. You might find him somewhere around here, right now.”She led them towards one of the corners. There was an old man, speaking in a rather rough, yet soothing voice to a sick patient, something that Ben couldn’t quite make out. It was as he turned around that Ben could see that it was, indeed, Lor San Tekka. They had found who they were looking for.”Hello,” Tekka said.”Are you Lor San Tekka?” Ben said. Tekka smiled warmly. “I am.””General Calrissian sent me,” Ben said. “He said you have something valuable to help in our fight against the Empress.”Silence. “The Empress?” Tekka said. He sounded sorrowful. “Yes, she’s a very troubled woman.””That’s putting it mildly,” Ben said. Tekka continued. “I can remember that before her fall, she was a very kind, brave, fearless woman. Then...she was broken.””Who did it?” Ben said. Lor shook his head. “I do not know. I wish I did. I know after she was broken, she took an apprentice of her own. A young man in the New Republic fleet. Of course, if Taral Ren heard me tell you this, he’d be quite angry.”Silence.”Lando said that you had...a map,” Ben said. “Or a piece of it.””You’re looking for Luke Skywalker?” Tekka said, a slightly amused smile curving his lips. “Aren’t we all. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see his nephew again. Of course, keep the last piece safe. If it falls into Imperial hands...I doubt the Empress will show mercy, or pity.””I know,” Ben said.It was after Tekka had given the map to Ben that the alarms started going off. Loud alarms too. And Ben could feel a presence among them — the same overwhelmingly warm presence that he felt across the Force Bond when Taral showed up.”He found us,” Ben said. Lor San Tekka nodded. “Maz and I will handle this. You...get the map as far away from Ren as you can.””I’m not running from anyone,” Ben said.”Do it for Skywalker then,” Tekka said. “If the map falls into Taral’s hands, we are doomed.”After a while, Ben nodded, and he ran out the back door as far away as he could. He could vaguely hear Tekka speaking with Taral, but he couldn’t hear what words were being said.***Lor San Tekka knew full well that eventually, Taral Ren would come for him, and he was not afraid. If only to preserve the map to Luke Skywalker, he would do anything to sacrifice himself. Even standing before the man wearing the wolf-like mask, who had numerous stormtroopers — including one wearing chrome armor commanding a whole battalion of red-plated stormtroopers — at his command, he knew the man under the mask: Poe Dameron, former hero of the New Republic. Taral was not a terribly tall man, but he made up for it with his sheer presence. They faced one another, and it was Taral who spoke. “Where is Ben Solo?”Lor San Tekka looked into Taral’s face, willing himself not to be intimidated. Taral continued. “Well? Where is he?””I know where you come from,” Tekka finally said. He had to stall Taral for as long as he could. “Before you called yourself Taral Ren.”He could have sworn that Taral tensed for a moment. Then, “Don’t try to change the subject. You have Ben Solo. And you’re going to give him to the Empire.””The Empire,” Tekka said, “Rose from the Dark Side. You did not. Neither did your Empress.”Taral was overwhelmingly tense. His breathing was shallow, and Tekka wondered if the Knight of Ren would tear out his throat. Then, “How dare you — using her as a weapon — lying creature — ”“Call me what you will,” Tekka said, “But you cannot hide from who, and what, you once were.”"That’s where you’re wrong,” Taral said. He ignited his lightsaber, a long, single-bladed, smooth-looking thing, only for Maz Kanata to ignite the lightsaber she was carrying on her as well. Maz spoke. “You don’t want to do this.””I do," Taral said. The refugees were hiding. Hiding away in their bunkers, away from the fight. Tekka could at least be relieved about that. No one was getting hurt, at least. Maz didn’t say anything. Merely nodded. Tekka knew that she would do whatever she could to hold Taral off. All he had to do was run. ***Ben was already starting up the engines to the Blue Hawk when Tekka all but burst up the ramp. “Is the map safe?” he said. “The last piece of it?”Ben nodded.”Good,” Tekka said. “We’re going to need time to fire the engines up, naturally. In the meantime...”There was a sudden, almost animalistic yowl that came from just outside. Ben took his staff and raced towards the loading ramp of the Hawk, only to realize that that yowl had come from one of the red-plated stormtroopers. Ben didn’t think that noise could have come out of...well, anyone, actually. He turned to Tekka. “I’ll man the turrets,” he said. Tekka nodded, before heading up towards the cockpit in order to keep the ship running until Maz came back. Ben fired at the troopers, watched even as they continued charging, the blasts from the turrets only seeming to make them angrier. It wasn’t possible. Were those the upgraded stormtroopers? They just seemed all but unstoppable. The red-plated stormtroopers charged up the ship ramp, and Ben’s head felt like it had been split in two.
— killkillkill —
— helpmehelpus —— hurts — Were those the upgraded stormtroopers? Ben could already feel everything, hear everything, and it hurt. He took out his staff. Fighting off the troopers with Tekka, who had come down from the cockpit to help, was mostly a case of remembering what his father had taught him and Rey on Jakku. Go for the jugular. Don’t be afraid to fight dirty. Even as Ben fought, it seemed that they wouldn’t stop getting up. They wouldn’t lie down. Dear stars, why wouldn’t they just lie down...It was in that moment that a blast of Force energy knocked the troopers across the room, and Ben heard a sickening crack. Several, actually. Presences winking out of existence, and a strange sense of horror, then peace. Ben turned to look at Maz, who seemed exhausted, but also triumphant. “I heard you were in distress,” she said. “So I came.”They’d have time to bury the troopers properly later. And perhaps...perhaps they could also solve the mystery as to what was going on with them. They blasted off, even as more stormtroopers shot at them, away from Nar Shaddaa, and back to the Resistance.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They got back to the Resistance with Tekka, and it was there that Lando greeted him warmly. “You old explorer,” he said, “How are you doing? Nar Shaddaa wasn’t too rough, was it?””You could say that we had quite the adventure,” Tekka said, a wry but warm smile touching his lips. "I believe we have much-needed good news.””You found the map?” Lando said.”Yes,” Ben said. “Taral found us, though. I don’t think he’s going to give up his quest to find me without a fight.”Lando sighed. “A little obsessed, is he?””He thinks you brainwashed me,” Ben said. “For some reason.”Lando sighed. “ ‘Course he does. Something the Empress probably drilled into his head.” A beat. “Tekka, if you could step out...”“Of course,” Tekka said.It was once Tekka was out of earshot that Lando said, “That Bond of yours — is there anything that — ”Maz was grim. “Bonds like this aren’t easily broken, General. And they can be caused through many means. Some can be forcibly bridged, though it’s cited as a form of mental violation. Some can be enacted through acts of kindness.””Taral actually rescued me,” Ben said. “From the X-wing on D’Qar. After one of his fellow pilots shot me down.”Lando sighed. “Well...stang. I guess I owe him one.” A beat. “Should I send him a thank you note from Crait?””Don’t,” Ben said. “Honestly, it doesn’t change anything. I don’t want anything to do with him."Lando grinned. “Right on.” The first time they showed the last piece of the map, there was nothing but an incomplete map. Ben’s heart sank — was that all there was? At least before Lando spoke. “Your uncle was pretty intent on trusting what Artoo-Detoo downloaded with me,” he said. “Basically, if there was any trouble, come running. He hid the last piece with Lor to throw the Empire off a little. Hold on...”Even staring at the complete map, Ben felt like he was looking into a sky full of bright blue stars. So many planets, so many stars — and now, it seemed they had another journey to make. From Crait to this Ach-To — the planet that sounded almost like a sneeze. “I suppose,” Tekka said, “We’re in for another long journey.” Ben nodded. “I can’t believe I’ll be meeting my uncle.””Yes. I know.” Tekka said. It was getting to sleep en route to Ach-To on the Blue Hawk that Ben already felt the familiar tug of the Force Bond. He had to suppress a groan. “I don’t want to do this right now,” he finally said. “Same here. Though I suppose we can’t have everything, can we?”There was Taral’s unfiltered voice, soft and pretty-sounding — Ben had no idea why he hid it behind that mask, but he supposed that he would never really have any answers to that. There was a sort of calm in there that irritated Ben. Was everything simply...unimportant to him, actually? Ben turned to look at Taral, who looked like he was ready to settle down for...whatever Knights of Ren did in their spare time. Probably sharing murder stories. Stories of whatever depravity they’d gotten up to this time. Maybe Taral told them a bit about Nar Shaddaa. Ben almost wished that Taral didn’t have to have such an angelic face. It would have been easier, so much easier, if he simply didn’t. It probably belied his mind, which seemed to be warring between monster and man. “Of course,” Taral said casually, “Not that I’m complaining. After all...”“What do you mean by ‘after all’?” Ben said.Taral was quiet. Ben could swear that he couldn’t really hide anything across their bond. The melancholy that reached across it was curious and reaching, almost like Ben was familiar company...or Taral wanted him to be.”You had no one else to talk to?” Ben said.Taral was quiet. “You didn’t, did you?”Taral was quiet again. Then, “I can imagine that Jakku was very lonely for you.”Ben could have sworn that he could have jumped out of his skin. Then, “Don’t. Just don’t.”Taral nodded. Then, “You don’t have to keep fighting me. I’m not your enemy, Ben. I’m not a monster.””You killed. On Jakku. You chased me down...””I’m not proud of those things. But they’re necessary.”“How?””For the Empress’ sake. For the sake of the Empire. Everything I do is in her name.”So that justified everything. Ben couldn’t help but feel a certain ill feeling, almost like tar, in his throat. “You don’t have to keep running, Ben.” Taral said. “We’re not bad people. If you stopped running, stopped hiding...”Ben shook his head. “I have every reason not to stop.””You don’t know what’s really going on, do you?” Taral said. “They’re hiding the truth from you. They’re using you. Using you like a weapon.””They’d never.””Who are you going to believe?” Taral said. “Them...or someone who actually has your best interests at heart?”Ben glared at him. “Just think...and maybe you’ll understand.”Taral vanished. Thank the stars. Ben absently kicked at a bedpost, only succeeding in stubbing his toe. He lay down, wondering what the hell truth that they could be hiding from him. The truth of the galaxy? The Force itself? Surely Taral’s version of the truth couldn’t possibly be the one...Growling in frustration, Ben tried to get to sleep.
His dreams were different this time. Taral was there, younger without a doubt — no younger than Ben, actually. Ben reached for his staff, only to find nothing. It would have been a peculiar fight they would have had anyway, up there on these strange cliffs overlooking the water.
This version of Taral actually looked surprised, hurt, actually. Did he know that he was going to become the same man who relentlessly pursued them? “Whoa, easy,” he said, still in that soft, pretty voice. He couldn’t have been more than eighteen or nineteen, Ben realized. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”
This...was odd. Could Poe and Taral be the same person — but Poe was something that Ben made up in his head. Ben just knew that it was. Dreams weren’t reality.
So he said, awkwardly, “You looked like...someone else.”
”First time I’ve heard of him,” Poe said. He had a lot of Taral’s features now, though his eyes weren’t gold, but a pleasant, expressive deep brown. “I mean, I don’t usually have others comparing me to someone else.”
”You don’t? Lucky.” Ben could remember quite a few unflattering comparisons made regarding his face, mostly thanks to his big ears. Poe and Taral both had the angelic beauty that Ben couldn’t help but envy, actually.
Poe seemed to pick up on it, because he said, “I’m sorry."
They sat above the water, talking about how Poe was about to join the Academy, apparently. Poe, talking excitedly about how wonderful it was going to be. And somehow, it was enough to make Ben feel a certain sort of sorrow, even though he didn’t know why.
It was when Ben woke up that he headed to breakfast. They were nearly to Ach-To, apparently. Maz didn’t say anything about Ben’s state, the shadows under his eyes and whatnot, only nodded grimly. Lor San Tekka was the one who spoke when they were in private. “You were...muttering to yourself when you were supposed to be asleep,” he said. “Are you well?”“Fine.” Ben forced a smile. “Just...Lor, I have a Force Bond with someone.”Lor San Tekka looked solemn. “Judging by how you say it, it’s not someone you’d...prefer to be bonded with?”Ben shook his head. “It’s Taral.”Tekka looked solemn again. Then, “I’m not going to call you a traitor, Ben. What happened was beyond your control. When do you remember it manifesting?””Just after D’Qar. I was shot down, Taral saved me. He was doing it to bring me to the Empress, though.”Lor nodded. “It could be the Bond was caused by the few bits of good in Taral. He is a curious man. He can alternate between kindness and cruelty like it’s nothing at all.”Ben had to suppress a snort. If there was any humanity left in Taral, Ben couldn’t say he’d seen it. They landed on Ach-To then, and it was Ben who volunteered to go up first — it was something that he regretted even as his legs ached and throbbed, and it was at the top that he found, exactly, who he was looking for. The figure was hooded and cloaked in beige, and yet when he turned around, lowered his hood, Ben saw that it was Luke. The Luke Skywalker. The Luke who had run this far. Luke looked at him. Then, “Who are you? I swear I’ve...felt you before.””It’s me, Ben Solo,” Ben said. “I came back.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
——————- Luke paused, visibly. There was something about his face that was clearly trying to process everything, trying to understand what was going on. That his nephew had come back, that he hadn’t seen in far too long, actually. Then, “You’re here.”Ben nodded.”You’ve gotten taller,” Luke said, half-lightly, half with sorrow in his voice.”Yeah.” Ben said. His uncle, meanwhile, looked haggard and sad — the beard was proof enough of that, as well as the haunted, hollow look in his eyes. “I never thought I’d see you again,” Luke said, and before Ben knew it, the former Jedi Master was hugging him. Then, “Stars, but you’re bony. What have they been feeding you, Ben?”Ben sighed. Of course, on Jakku, Ri’ia knew that Han tried his best to feed him and Rey, but Jakku was not exactly the best place for food. “Is there anyone with you?” Luke said.”Maz Kanata and Lor San Tekka.”“Maz is here?” Ben nodded. Luke actually seemed hesitant. Then he nodded. “I’ll go to them.”Tekka and Maz greeted Luke warmly, but one thing that Ben noticed was that his uncle seemed to shrug them off, like he thought that he didn’t deserve their praise. It was in the main hold of the Blue Hawk that they talked, and it was Maz bringing up the idea of Luke helping train Ben where Luke objected. Maz looked at him critically. “I’m sorry?”Luke sighed. “Maz, the Jedi need to end. And don’t tell me I’m sounding like her. Trust me, my beliefs and hers don’t even remotely line up. If you’re going to say only a Sith deals in absolutes — ””What I am saying,” Maz said, “Is what changed? You are the Luke Skywalker who said he was a Jedi like his father before him.”Luke laughed bitterly. “That was years ago.””But nonetheless, you are that man. It lives in you,” Maz said. “Once, long ago, you defied the Emperor. When he taunted you, tried to make you sacrifice all you were, to make you kill your father...you resisted. You fought. Now...now I see a man who wishes to lie down and die while the galaxy screams for help.” Luke sighed. “It isn’t like that at all. Maz...you haven’t seen what I saw — ”“The texts?” Maz said.Luke nodded. “They’ve all been replaying the same script over the years only with different circumstances and different names.””Of course they have,” Tekka said. “For every Dark Sider who rises to wreak havoc, a Light Sider rises to combat it. The Jedi are critical to keeping balance in the Force. Without them, the galaxy is effectively defenseless.””The Light doesn’t die with the Jedi. The Force doesn’t even belong to them. Not alone.””Nonetheless,” Tekka said, “They are important.” A beat. “You’ve never given up before. What changed?””She did,” Luke said, bitterly.It was in his seat that Ben shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t help but think of arguments between parents, or other sort of familial figures. He spoke up in that moment. “Maybe you don’t have to be a Jedi. You can just help the Resistance. We need help. We need all the help that we can get.”Luke paused. He seemed to be thinking about it. “Do it for the Empress,” Maz said. “Who she used to be...and who you used to be.””Don’t do this to me, Maz,” Luke said. “Don’t go this way.””Do you love her?””For my part.””Then fight for her.”Silence. Finally, Luke spoke. “I’ll do it for her, then. And Ben. But...I am no longer a Jedi. I doubt I could ever be. And if I teach Ben, I’ll teach him how to be a better man than those who came before.”Ben couldn’t help but wonder, even as they started up the engines and headed back into hyperspace, what the Empress could have possibly done to break his uncle so badly. It was as they sped through hyperspace that Ben headed back to his room, took out his staff as he practiced the familiar movements of the staff — the familiar swipes, the familiar swishing. The way that it cut through the air like blades. He and Rey both had to learn about fighting at a young age, and Ben could say he was pretty good at it, along with Rey.He tried picturing what it would be like with an actual lightsaber in hand. Would it be double-bladed? Single-bladed? For some reason, he was picturing the blade with crossguards — or maybe smooth —“You’ve got some skill with the staff.”Taral’s voice cut in to Ben’s thoughts, causing him to turn around. There Taral was, and Ben supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised to see him unmasked, but still...Ben winced at Taral’s words. Somehow, he didn’t want to hear them. Taral tilted his head. “I’m serious.” “I don’t...want a compliment from you.” Taral sighed. “You’re as stubborn as ever. I don’t know whether to admire you or be frustrated.””Don’t. Just don’t.”Silence. “You don’t have to hate me, you know,” Taral said. “I certainly don’t hate you.”Ben supposed that he would have preferred if it was the case.”After what you did to my uncle, I have plenty more reasons to hate you.””Luke?” Taral said, softly. “You found him?”Silence. “You did, didn’t you?” Taral said. “He’s not a good man. People like him, Tekka, Maz...they’re using you for their own ends. When they get what they want, they’ll discard you.”That couldn’t be true. After all, Maz, Tekka and Uncle Luke...they were good people, weren’t they? Taral continued. “You haven’t fought them as I have, the Resistance. You don’t know them like I do.””Maybe I don’t,” Ben said. “But I don’t see how your side is any better.””I could help you,” Taral said. Even the thought of becoming like Taral somehow...Ben couldn’t imagine it. Slaughtering innocents, manipulating...he couldn’t picture doing something like that. Taral continued. “Don’t be afraid. I felt the same way. But I learned.”There were so many responses all but buzzing through Ben’s head. Things like how and I don’t want to and so much more. Finally, he settled on, “How did you become such a monster?””Monster?” Taral laughed; it sounded disbelieving. “I look like a monster to you?””You are a monster,” Ben said. “So’s the Empress.””To the Empire, the Resistance are the real monsters. They call themselves the Resistance, but what exactly are they resisting? It’s not like we’re Palpatine, after all.” Taral wrinkled his straight-bridged nose in distaste. “After all, he was an animal. A smart animal, but still an animal. Still better than the Empress’ previous master, but that doesn’t say much.”Ben held his ground. “They’re resisting tyranny.””Is it really tyranny if we want to make the galaxy better?” “You’re not,” Ben said. “Well, you can’t fault us for trying. But if you want to know how I became a ‘monster’...” Taral cleared his throat. “I did it for her. Because her master was hurting her. Because she was the only one who could make the galaxy whole again. Because she was my friend.”Ben couldn’t picture either one of them having friends, actually. Taral continued. “Yes. She was. She still is. We’re not the enemy, Ben. Just think about it.”He vanished, and Ben was left with plenty of information to digest. Even the idea of Taral doing what he did out of a twisted sense of affection and loyalty to the Empress, he could barely picture. People like them didn’t have things like that. It wasn’t how things worked. It was Lor San Tekka who knocked on the door. “Ben? Are you all right?”Ben nodded. “Just had a bit of a rough spot. You can come in.”Lor San Tekka entered and said, “Was it him? Taral?”Ben nodded. And even recounting the conversation to Tekka, he realized that there was quite a bit to digest.Lor San Tekka looked sorrowful. “It was something that I never expected from the Empress,” he said. “Taking a sweet, innocent child and molding him into her image. Making him just like her. In a way, she good as stole his childhood years. Made him into her protégé.”In spite of himself, Ben couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten. Taral...whoever he had been, he had never been able to have a childhood. Not with the shadow of the Empress looming over him, making him just like her. “So everything Taral said was true,” Ben said. “Yes. When I met Taral as a child, he was...very much endearing and kind. He wanted to be a pilot like his mother,” Tekka said. “He absolutely adored and looked up to her. Along with the Empress, you could say that she was one of his idols.”Ben swallowed. He couldn’t help but feel some degree of discomfort thinking about it. He could remember talking to Rey, when they were both children, about being a pilot like his father. They’d promised to be pilots together. Now...now it seemed that he and Taral had something in common. Of course, children saw their parents as gods. Still, Ben couldn’t help but feel unsettled. Even having a similarity to the man who had invaded Jakku...Ben sighed. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t a murderer. He wasn’t a ruthless enforcer. “How does an innocent child become that?””Few beings start out as evil,” Tekka said softly. “Even Darth Vader was not so, in the beginning.””I suppose,” Ben said. “Tekka...I actually had this dream about this child. But I guess I just made it up inside my head.”Tekka shook his head. “Dreams vary.””There was this child in the forest,” Ben said. “His name was Poe Dameron...”Tekka looked like he’d been struck. Then, “Perhaps you were meant to find Poe Dameron. Perhaps you were meant to help him. Him and Taral both.”Ben nodded, though he doubted he knew how to save someone he didn’t know was real or not. “In any case,” said Tekka, “You should sleep. We still have many miles to travel.”Ben nodded. “Good night.”Tekka nodded. “Good night, Ben.”Tekka left, and Ben couldn’t help but feel uneasy about falling asleep. Even when he did, he dreamed about Poe being dragged away by shadowy, tentacle-like appendages, like extensions of darkness, all while Ben tried to save him.