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A knot of people had gathered around his grandparents’ front door when Plan returned from working the rice terraces.His empty stomach filled with dread as he approached them, trying to mentally prepare himself for the worst.Both his grandparents were at an age where a seemingly harmless infection, an unfortunate household accident, or a sudden heart attack could kill them and leave him even more of an orphan in this harsh world. Since his father had left him even before he was born, without ever meeting anyone in the family and his mother had died in childbirth while having him, his grandparents were the only known family he had.They had been so kind to take him in and raise him with as much love as they still had in them, despite the fact that his birth had robbed them of their only daughter and left them with a small, sharp boy instead.He hurried over towards the open veranda that also served as a substitute for a living room in their shabby village hut, increasingly confused by what he saw.The people he had seen from afar weren’t the neighbours... they were... no, that was absurd, what were reporters doing here?Usually, it was the talk of the year if one single reporter strayed to their village, either because they wanted to make a feature on traditional rice terrace farming or because they were doing some kind of nature documentary on the wildlife in the surrounding areas, annoying everyone working the paddies for days.As soon as the first reporter spotted him and one of the neighbours mingling with them nodded and pointed at him, the entire bulge of people began to move like a swarm of insects towards him.He instinctively pulled his wide-rimmed hat deeper over his forehead. Luckily, he had been wearing one to shield himself from the blazing heat of the sun today. He also pushed his large, round spectacles up the bridge of his nose as if he hoped it would protect him.For a moment, he contemplated running away – but despite his discomfort, curiosity got the better of him.He observed the movement of the crowd like a liquid flowing towards him, individual people like molecules forming a bigger whole.“Are you the resident Genius?”Genius like a title, like a honorific.“Plan Rathavit? How are you feeling about the scholarship?”“What do you tell people who call you Thailand’s Einstein?”He rolled his eyes, safely hidden in the shadow of his hat. What were these overexcited people getting at?There must be someone playing a practical joke on him.Sure, he had always earned good grades at school effortlessly, but he had graduated from high school down in Chiang Mai two weeks ago and now he needed to help his grandparents work the paddies, so they could finally reduce their own workload and enjoy the winter years of their lives in peace and tranquillity.He had been lucky enough to attend high school at all to satisfy some of his thirst for knowledge, only because his village teacher had recommended him to a school director down in the city.He had been allowed to stay in the director’s garden shed and attend school for free in exchange for helping out the gardener, but that was already more than a poor farm boy like him could have expected.It was true, of course, that ever since he had discovered the word “why?” and the village teacher had shown him the beauty of the universal language of mathematics, he had delved deeper and deeper into the study of the rules guiding the physical world and the universe around him, whenever he had time to spare – but that didn’t make him a genius, much less a Genius or the next Einstein or whatever.Determined to ignore the reporters buzzing around him still, he continued walking towards his grandparents’ hut.When the last of the reporters in front of him stepped away from his glaring eyes, he finally spotted grandma sitting in her old plastic chair on the veranda, holding a pristine white letter in her hands, showing her wide, almost toothless smile upon seeing him.“Grandma, what is going on?”Instead of answering, she handed the letter to him and joined the bulk of reporters in watching him expectantly as he unfolded it.The words began to swim in front of his eyes.This was...Special scholarship... UdG University... an amount of money bigger than he had ever seen written in earnest, that if it were theirs... it would allow his grandparents to retire comfortably tomorrow.He looked up from the letter and at his grandmother.“Why does this letter say I have been granted a scholarship? I didn’t apply for no scholarships, did you fall for a scam grandma? What did those people tell you the letter says?”An overly twitchy reporter next to him retreated his microphone with an annoyed grunt.“You didn’t apply? Then... isn’t this your science paper you submitted to the National Young Researchers competition?”
What?
He hadn’t submitted anything anywhere, it was pointless anyway, he was a rice farmer after all.However, after glancing at the paper the reporter was holding up, he recognised the homework he had handed in for his science final.It had just been a summary of some basic mathematical simulations of liquids he had made while playing around on the old laptop his science teacher had gifted to him at the beginning of his last semester at school.How that paper had ended up in a national competition completely eluded him.“It is my homework,” he shrugged, “I don’t know why you have it, though. Now if you please... I need to have dinner and get some rest before tomorrow, rice still doesn’t harvest itself, you know.”“Does this mean you are not accepting the scholarship?” a baffled reporter asked him.Plan looked down at the letter again and gulped silently upon seeing that insane amount of money it says he’d been granted.If it were true, it would be madness not to accept, but at what price?Leaving his grandparents again to fend for themselves, after everything they had done for him?Moving to... Bangkok, where UdG was located. UdG was the fanciest, most exclusive public-private university in the country. Financed and attended by Thailand’s richest people, home to the best research facilities and the most prestigious professors in the country.Could he afford going there, even with the scholarship money? What were the conditions attached to it? He hadn’t read anything about that in the letter.He sighed.If life were easy, going to UdG would be a dream. He had read physics papers by Prof. Marsden, the hotshot foreign theoretical physicist teaching and researching there. He would love to learn more from her, to have new ideas he could mull over while working in the terraces during the day and write down during the quiet hours after dinner.But again, at what price?“I need to think about it.”Leaving the baffled reporters behind, he stepped onto the veranda and hurried over to the bedroom, that thankfully had a door he could close behind him.Well... at least those villagers who offered some form of food or accommodation services to outsiders, tourists usually, would get good business out of these reporters today.
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The White Hand was the most exclusive club on UdG university campus.As the name implied, there could only ever be five members at any time, and in order to join, you had to be related to or favoured by at least one of the five main private sponsors of the university and invited personally by the leader of the club. Though currently, at the beginning of the semester, the Hand was two fingers short.The two most senior members had graduated last year and had moved on to the usual greatness that awaited them – one taking up his role as the managing director of a subsidiarity of the biggest food processing conglomerate in the country, his family’s business, the other joining the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra as a second violinist right out of music classes.The remaining three members were lounging on a bench next to the main entrance of the auditorium maximum, where the new students were beginning to gather.They were a group of exquisite talent, good looks, wealth, and accomplishment. Every other student wanted to be like them, or to be with them.At first glance, Viola, who sat on the rightmost side of the bench, might not fulfil the criterium of classical good looks. She wore short, tom-boyish hair and was infamous for her dislike for anything resembling make-up – but the slightly rebellious 1950ies teddy style she was cultivating looked so effortlessly cool, that she was regularly cited as their main fashion inspiration by at least half of the campus, girls and boys alike. She was also the youngest granddaughter of the main shareholder of Rumy Pharmaceuticals, the biggest producer of chemicals and pharmaceuticals in the country.UdG legends said she had never lost a game of poker in her life, no matter the cards she’s dealt. Rumours had it, that when her parents had cut her off from her allowance – she had stood up the son of an important supplier on a blind date and had caused Rumy Pharmaceuticals’ stocks to drop in consequence – she had managed to live an even more luxurious lifestyle purely on poker earnings for months.She was the star of the Economics Department, though if her family had allowed her to choose for herself, she insisted she would have become a motorcycle mechanic, which only underlined her image as a bona fide rebel.Next to her sat Rose, her polar opposite in terms of looks and composure. Rose was studying at the Department of Fine Arts, specialising in traditional painting and Chinese calligraphy. Her delicate floral designs had already been commissioned by designers in Seoul, Tokyo, and even in Milan last season.She was the daughter of a high-level Chinese diplomat and his Thai mistress, and though this status had had eyebrows raised when she had first joined the White Hand, people had quickly embraced her once they had seen the ethereal beauty of her delicate features and her porcelain skin. It had certainly helped as well, that she was engaged to marry Viola’s older brother Vic next year.Finally, on the leftmost side, looking uncharacteristically anxious and tired, sat the new leader of the White Hand, Mean. He was the youngest of five children of the ownership family of the biggest shipping company in Southeast Asia, who had recently launched a new luxury airline. Not surprisingly, the family had used Mean’s handsome face in their first advertising campaign, catapulting him close to idol status even outside of the UdG campus.Being the youngest son of a big family with older siblings already filling all the corporate responsibilities, Mean was left to do as he pleased as long as he didn’t create any scandals – and he had used his first year at university to study popular music, composition and performance arts. It was said that he was already signed to an entertainment agency, who would officially debut him soon.However, being an accomplished individual worthy of leading the White Hand, he also attended courses in applied physics and engineering. Campus legend stated that he had developed a new type of electrical engines for motorcycles that would allow them to preserve energy and make them run much more efficiently. An extension of this legend said that Viola had successfully built his engine into her motorcycle, and that this had been the start of their secret relationship with each other.The members of the White Hand were never dating openly, if they dated at all, except in cases like Rose’s, where an official engagement was announced and typically followed through.There were many reasons for this.For one thing, most of them were descendants of rich families who might still want to conduct business through marriage if necessary – and children were expected to comply without the awkwardness of having to end a publicly known relationship beforehand.Furthermore, they were seen as the faces representing the image of UdG University as a whole and thus should be treated like idols in the entertainment industry – belonging to the public, the other students, and their many fans.None of this prevented anyone from speculating about their private lives, of course. There were entire message boards and social media hashtags dedicated to discussing White Hand dating rumours, and even more just keeping tabs on their every move.*~*~* “What’s so wrong with only having the three of us this year?” Mean complained to the girls next to him, while he was watching the new students filing past them.Most of them averted their gazes from the trio as they passed, only shyly glancing in their direction as if they were expecting the wrath of the heavens if they were caught staring.Mean didn’t doubt that there were many brilliant and talented people among these boys and girls, but becoming a member of the White Hand was more than that. Talent alone didn’t cut it.You needed to stand out.Unfortunately, there were no obvious candidates joining UdG this year, no sons or daughters of sponsors, who as good as had a spot guaranteed if they wanted it. Mean felt the unfamiliar pressure of the decision weigh on his usually happy and outgoing disposition.It would reflect badly on him if he chose the wrong people to join – and unlike Viola and Rose, whom he had been friends with since kindergarten, he had no way of easily judging these new people.“We could launch a competition,” Rose suggested, “winner gets to join.”Mean shook his head.“That’s too big of a promise. What if none of the competitors are good enough?”“Since when do you have such high standards, Meanie?” Rose chuckled, “would you have made it if you had applied them to yourself?”Unlike her public image as a shy and delicate girl, she didn’t keep her opinions to herself among them, and it was rather Viola who was hiding a bit of introverted shyness behind her rough and cool exterior.“You sound like you have someone in mind? Is there someone truly exceptional among these freshmen?”“Not yet,” she conceded, “but why not do something to find out? If a competition is too formal, let’s just organise a few theme parties and see who stands out. You know,” she chuckled again, “like in fairy tales, whoever catches the Prince’s eye will get to live in the palace.”Mean affectionately pinched her cheek, making her flinch and complain about smearing her make-up like that.“We’re not looking for dates, we’re looking for members for our club. Stop trying to hook me up with everyone.”“You know this whole no-dating nonsense is just a façade, right, Mean? It doesn’t mean you have to live like a monk just because you can’t be seen dating. There are ways. We can teach you, can’t we, Viola?”The other girl nodded absent-mindedly.Mean leaned his head back against the wall, secretly rolling his eyes.It wasn’t that he was forcing himself not to date. He was actually relieved by the no-dating rule. It helped him focus on building his career – his double career path actually, in entertainment and in applied physics; and it also stopped him from thinking about the kinds of people… the kinds of cute boys who had given him ideas about dating in the past.In his position, dating a girl was already frowned upon if he wasn’t set on marrying her – dating a boy, even in secret, was precisely the kind of scandal that would get him in trouble even with his laid-back family who had generously let him do whatever he wanted so far.He had welcomed the rumours about him dating Viola, because there was no danger of it ever becoming reality and it had stopped people from speculating needlessly.His musings were stopped by a sudden commotion at the foot of the stairs leading up to the main entrance.“What’s that about?” he asked, while he sat up to figure out for himself.He soon saw that at the calm centre of the commotion was a small boy with slightly dishevelled hair and a badly fitting uniform, who was walking up the stairs while slowly reading through something on his phone, the white screen and black text reflecting in the glasses of his oversized, round spectacles.It didn’t look like the boy was absent-minded and unaware of the crowd that had formed around him, snapping images and even filming him – he just seemed set on ignoring them.“Who’s that?”He felt both Rose’s and Viola’s gaze turn towards him in surprise.“Ah, I forgot about him,” Rose smiled. “He might be a suitable candidate for the club. Haven’t you heard? That’s the Einstein guy. You know, the farm boy who refused to come here on the sponsors’ special scholarship, until Prof. Marsden personally went to Chiang Mai to convince him? People say he is a Genius.”A Genius, huh?Mean was sceptical. There had been a lot of self-proclaimed geniuses at this school, and they had rarely delivered.But something about this guy was different, even he had to concede that. He had never seen anyone so utterly unconcerned by obviously unwanted public attention, and it had piqued his curiosity. He also pushed the realisation that the guy matched his type too closely for comfort in terms of looks as deeply to the back of his mind as he could.Before the knot of people surrounding the Einstein boy reached the entrance to the auditorium, Mean jumped up from the bench and blocked their way.Without looking up from his phone – Mean realised he was reading a scientific article – the boy tried to walk around him.Maybe the genius title wasn’t unwarranted, after all, if he managed to focus on a paper on theoretical physics while surrounded by a horde of fans and, now that he was close to them, apparently also journalists.Why hadn’t he heard of this guy before?He shifted his position to stand in his way again.Finally, the boy looked up from the screen and glanced at Mean with a slightly annoyed glint in his eyes.“Would you mind? I’m trying to enter before the orientation starts.”Ostensibly believing that just saying this would make Mean step away, the boy tried to take another step and nearly bumped into him.Another annoyed glance.“What do you want?”Mean took back his earlier thoughts. This guy was not his type at all. He was rude and arrogant, and he was almost tempted to go down the tired do you even know who you’re talking to?-route.“You are that Einstein guy, aren’t you?”Mean asked nevertheless, figuring that if the story was true, that Prof. Marsden herself had really travelled to the province to convince him to attend, he would be White Hand material if Mean liked it or not.The boy sighed.“Why is it always Einstein? Are there no other physicists people admire? What about Feynman? Or why not Higgs, everyone has heard about him since they discovered the Higgs boson at CERN a few years ago, and it would be something original, at least,” he took a deep breath, “I’m neither of them in any case. I’m just a student who would like to enter the auditorium.”“Are you interested in joining the White Hand?”Mean had said it without thinking. It was probably obvious that no other freshman would be better qualified than this guy, even though he was rude and would need quite a bit of coaching to reach the proper level of accomplishment.Well, and the sponsoring families had considered him good enough to qualify for a special scholarship, so he couldn’t be a complete fluke.“No,” the boy, whose name he still hadn’t learnt, answered, “now, would you please, please step aside. You’re in my way.”The people surrounding them gasped, while Mean stepped aside, completely stunned.Nobody in the entire history of UdG had ever refused to join the White Hand when it was offered to them publicly. Being a member of the White Hand gave you access to the most exclusive privileges at the university, it practically guaranteed you a high-flying career in whatever field you wanted to specialise in, provided you didn’t squander it. Students all around would kill for the opportunity to join.Mean concluded that the Einstein… sorry, the Higgs guy, simply didn’t know what the White Hand was and he expected him to turn up at their door soon enough, once he realised his mistake.As soon as he had let himself drop back onto the bench next to Rose, both girls looked at him expectantly.“Don’t look at me like that. He’s unworthy of the White Hand. Too rude.”Rose laughed loudly, causing the surrounding people to turn their heads, probably wondering how the shy flower lady could laugh so hard.“He turned you down, didn’t he?”
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At first, Plan had been happy that attending freshmen orientation had at least temporarily gotten rid of the people buzzing around him like flies.But now, while he was sitting in a hidden corner at the cafeteria, eating the plain rice and vegetables he had brought with him, he asked himself whether he had acted too rudely to the people at UdG and whether it was going to bite him in the end.While he had sneaked through the labyrinthine corridors of the university just before, to lose the crowds, he had heard people whisper about that rude self-proclaimed genius who thought he was better than everyone just because he had received a special scholarship. A person so arrogant he had even dared to turn down the White Hand, despite having been asked to join by Mean himself.That wasn’t who he was.He wasn’t usually a rude or arrogant person.At his high school in Chiang Mai he hadn’t been a loner. It was just a different situation right now.He had loved to work on mathematical problems with the other members of the maths club at school and every Friday they had gone out to sing out-of-tune karaoke songs together with the members of the badminton team.There had been no separation of nerds and jocks at his school and they had had a lot of fun calculating flight paths and optimal approach vectors for the badminton players to help them improve their speed, in return for a few free lunches.A few months ago, he had even had a short, sweet romance with Win, the team leader of the badminton team. Plan had helped him figure out the problem he had had with his backhand serve and after Win had gone on to defeat the reigning champion from their rival high school, they had kissed each other behind the equipment shed.But after a few secret romantic dates at the cinema and Win often strolling through the director’s garden while Plan was working, they had come to realise that they didn’t have a future together and that it was better to end it before it developed into something deeper.Win had had high ambitions for his life both as a sportsman and as an aspiring entrepreneur, while Plan had only thought about returning to the village to support his grandparents.It had been a slightly melancholic, but ultimately friendly separation and Plan still had good feelings thinking back on it.If life had taught him anything, it was not to get attached to people or things in general, but to know what to focus on in the moment to get the most of it.This was exactly why Plan didn’t want to interact with the people here at UdG.Plan knew his time here was limited.The people who had been following him around all morning like he was some kind of idol weren’t really interested in him as a person, they had invested in the fairy tale of the genius commoner – the soothing tale that told them that if a mere farm boy, an orphan at that, could turn out to be the next Einstein, everything was possible for them, too.The problem with this story was that it wasn’t true and people would eventually figure out he wouldn’t go on to win a Nobel Prize in physics anytime soon.After that, they would abandon him just as enthusiastically as they were supporting him now. He would have to return to the rice terraces and support his grandparents again – and the fewer attachments he had formed at the university in the meantime, the better.That was why he had been reluctant to come here even after he had realised that the scholarship was genuine.The director of his former school had sent in his homework assignment to the National Young Researchers competition behind his back and apparently, Prof. Marsden had been so impressed with it that she had pushed the sponsors of UdG to do everything in their power to get him here.There was nothing more behind this than one professor overestimating his skill based on one single paper, and then the media jumping onto the hype because his story was too irresistible to pass.The reason he had finally agreed to come here was twofold:Firstly, because both grandma and grandpa had begged him to go, insisting they would manage just fine without him, the villagers would help them.He had given in, once he had figured out he could use the opportunities Bangkok presented to earn a bit of money, so he would be able to pay back the scholarship when the time came, and he wouldn’t return to them with debts on his hands.Secondly, because in the short time he would be here before the university people realised their mistake, he would have access to the latest publications in the field of theoretical physics.He could use his time to download and work through as many of them as possible, on his phone and in the library, so he would have something to keep his mind occupied once he was back in the rice paddies.Kind of like he had allowed himself to go out with Win and then to let him go again without getting hurt, because it had never been more than a sweet dream, a flower blooming boldly and beautifully only for a short time.He had never even thought of physics as a career or a profession – it was something he did because whenever he sat behind his grandparents’ hut in clear, moonless nights and looked up at the billions of stars covering the sky above him, he couldn’t help but wonder how all of this had come to be; how everything around him was made out of stardust from the first moments of the universe’s existence.If he kept going, if he didn’t get seduced by these other people’s stories and ambitions about him, he might find happiness in it.Even if nobody ever read his research, even if all that remained of his life in the end was a pile of notebooks full of calculations and thoughts, it would be worth it just to have known for the brief blip that was a human life on the large scale of the universe.“Do you mind if I sit here?”Plan flinched and looked up into the face of a… boy? Or a girl? Or… neither?The person in front of him was carrying a cafeteria tray filled to the brims with rice, two different curries and fruit for dessert.They looked like they came from a rich family, wearing a flawlessly ironed uniform shirt and tie, but a fancy leather jacket over it to counter the cold settings of the air conditioning in the building. The most impressive feature was their hair, though, greased up into a pompadour like a character in a James Dean movie.He would rather that person sat somewhere else, but maybe he should make sure this unfortunate reputation of rudeness didn’t overtake everything.With a slight nod, he invited them to sit down and turned his attention back to his notebook.“You’re really dedicated to your work,” the person remarked.Couldn’t they see that he had chosen this spot to stay hidden?“I’m Viola, by the way. Economics student and resident motorcycle repair girl, if you ever need one fixed.”Well, he guessed that this probably made her a she, then?“Plan,” he replied, and when he noticed her confusion, he added, “that’s my name.”“Nice to meet you.”“Hm.”At first, Viola opened her backpack and took out her textbook as well, silently reading while she was eating her lunch – a lunch that began to smell more appetizing and inviting, the longer it was in front of Plan’s barely filled stomach.She must have noticed his longing gaze, because she pushed it in his direction after a while without looking up from her textbook – and when she didn’t show any interest in finishing it, Plan swallowed his pride and just accepted it.This must be an advantage of being rich, being able to afford giving away something so delicious without even thinking about it.“Do you know about the White Hand?” she asked, once she saw that he had stopped working in order to focus on the food.He shook his head, trying to find a way to politely convey that he wasn’t interested to know about it, either.“Mean invited you to join… well, us, earlier this morning, didn’t he?”Ah! She must mean the tall guy who had rudely blocked his way when he had tried to be on time for freshmen orientation. He had already forgotten about that.“I’m not interested.”“How can you know that if you don’t even know what it is?”Plan sighed and regretted to put down his spoon – his stomach would have liked him to finish the meal – but his brain was just reminded why there was no such thing as a free lunch.“I don’t know what kind of stories you heard about me to invite me to anything, but… I’m sure you’ll find someone more suitable than me for whatever you do.”“So, it isn’t true that you have received a special scholarship to attend our school and that Prof. Marsden travelled to a remote village off Chiang Mai to beg you to come here?”
Well… how to tell her?
Plan exhaled audibly.“That’s technically not wrong…” he said slowly, “but isn’t it a bit much to base all this on one homework assignment that wasn’t even particularly good?”“I’m sorry you lost me there.”He exhaled again, more forcefully this time.“I’m not a genius and I don’t know what I did to give off this impression.”He could feel Viola’s scrutinising gaze on him.“But you are here to study theoretical physics.”He nodded.“And Prof. Marsden has insisted that you should be able to take the finals exams of the entire introductory curriculum next week out of schedule, so you can start with the main studies right away, hasn’t she?”Again, he was forced to nod.“But I’ll probably fail. I didn’t have much time to prepare, what with the move here and everything. And then people will know the truth.”“Which is?”“That I’m just an ordinary person.”Viola laughed, the raspy guttural laugh of someone who spent a lot of time in a workshop.“That’s good. We’re all ordinary people here. You’ll fit right in.”She got up from her seat slowly, and pressed a glossy black calling card with the emblem of a white hand into his hands. On the flip side was her name, white on black, as well as her mobile number, and her e-mail address.“Please contact me if you change your mind. It’s rare that the leader of the White Hand gives an invitation to an outsider freshman on the first day. You must have impressed him. Think about it.”She winked and made a finger-gun gesture at him upon getting up, smiled and told him not to show that card to anyone, if he ended up not using it.So, the guy who had blocked his way had been the leader of the White Hand, whatever that was, it sounded like a biker gang or something, and now he was sending his cronies after him?While he safely stored the calling card in his wallet, making sure it was hidden away behind other cards to respect Viola’s wish, he wondered how much trouble he was in for having refused to join that club.
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“Argh, I’m booored. Let’s go out!”Rose threw her pencil halfway across the private study room of the White Hand.It didn’t surprise Mean that she was bored. While he had been busy trying to make sense of the exercises for his introductory course into stochastics and statistical methods, Rose had worked on the same small flower design for, what… two hours?He was impressed she was able to keep at it for this long in the first place. But Rose had such a loving eye for detail that she looked at designs differently than… normal people.“You know what? I’m in. Statistical methods just don’t make sense.”He closed his paper notebook with a similar energy as Rose had just tossed her pencil.“Maths don’t make sense in general,” she commented.“One of these days you’ll see that maths are just like art. Normal maths that is. It is beautiful. But ugh… Statistics are just so slippery.”“That’s exactly why I love it, Mean.”That was Viola, who must have walked in on their conversation behind them, without either of them noticing. She walked down the spiral staircase into their study room as if she had planned this dramatic entrance all along.“That’s what poker is all about. You can’t just let your machine calculate a result for you and it’s immediately obvious how you have to play. Sure, you need to be able to calculate the odds – which is what stochastics are for, but after that, you have to read the game.”“Did you just call me stupid?”She laughed.“Maybe?”One thing was certain in any case, Mean would never play poker against Viola, ever.They had grown up together, he had sat next to her when she had made her first attempts, and when she had started to sneak out to bars and later even to backrooms to play for increasingly higher stakes, Mean had stood behind her most of the time, making sure she didn’t get into trouble.While the rumour wasn’t true that she had never lost a game in her life – of course she had – it was true that she rarely left a table with a negative balance.And though the story had grown a lot in the telling, it was true that she had once managed to survive for two weeks without her parents’ allowance on poker earnings alone.“You know, if you had succeeded in recruiting that Einstein boy-”Mean rolled his eyes.Why did she have to bring up that sore topic again?The fact that the guy hadn’t shown up at their door so far, and he had in fact completely ignored the existence of the White Hand outright, was still a thorn in his side.One that hurt.“He said he preferred Higgs.”“Whatever,” Viola smirked, “when are you going to invite him again? I think he’ll be worth it. I’m sure he could explain stochastics to you.”Mean hit the table with his flat hand, as if he was putting an imaginary pencil down with force.“Unlike you apparently, I respect a no when I hear one. I invited him, he said no – and like I told you repeatedly, he is too rude, anyway. Let’s find someone else. We have two spots to fill. Didn’t you have that party idea, Rose?”Thankfully, Rose didn’t need to be prompted twice and immediately opened her mouth to start explaining. She didn’t get far however. She quickly stopped on her track when she caught Viola’s gaze and saw the raised index finger she was wagging slightly.“Not so fast with that change of subject, Meanie,” Viola continued, now that Rose had stopped talking.The short-haired girl took a few more steps to get in front of the leather couch Mean was sitting on, turned and let herself drop casually next to him.“Have I told you that I talked to him after he declined your offer?”Mean listened up.“That was when… Monday? Today is Friday and you’re telling me now?”She shrugged.“There was no reason to tell you before.”That was Viola. Never using information when she didn’t need to. Someone should teach her that life wasn’t a poker game.Mean exhaled.“Right, so you did. And what did you tell him, hm?”She leaned back, apparently savouring the fact that she had caught him off guard. He didn’t really know what she was playing at at the moment. It wasn’t like he was invested in inviting the Higgs guy to the White Hand anymore…Of course, it was very obvious that there had been no other realistic candidates among the freshmen, and if there had been one among the juniors or seniors, they would have stood out before, wouldn’t they?But what was the point in chasing after someone who didn’t accept what you had offered so generously?Plus, the guy had quite a reputation already. He might be a really brilliant mind, but like many geniuses of his calibre, the problem was that he knew it. He had rarely looked up from his notebook or his phone all week, if Mean’s observation was accurate – yes, okay, he had observed him when he had seen him, but he hadn’t gone looking for him, okay?The Higgs guy had acted like he didn’t need to dignify mere mortals with his insight or indeed his attention, despite still being surrounded by people trying to get him to notice them. Mean was somewhat impressed that his fans hadn’t given up, and neither had he snapped back at them.But that was just the point – he might have the aura necessary to qualify for White Hand, but he was too proud and he lacked refinement.“… are you even listening to me?”Mean flinched and turned to her.“Err…”He didn’t particularly like the smile on Viola’s face right now.“You’ve got it bad, haven’t you?”“What? No!” he prodded her side, causing her to move away from him with a giggle.He didn’t like that giggle.“I was just thinking how much he doesn’t qualify to be part of White Hand.”“That’s too bad,” Viola smirked, “I already gave him my calling card and told him to contact me if he changes his mind.”“And?”Her smirk suddenly got meek.“He didn’t call.”That’s what Mean had thought. Not only because it would have hurt his pride a little, if Viola had succeeded in convincing him, after he had failed. “There’s only one thing that bugs me,” Mean said, “why? I mean… why did he refuse? It doesn’t make sense… or do you get it? By all accounts, he’s really poor and before he got the scholarship, he was set to become a rice farmer. Shouldn’t a person like this beg at our feet to let him join instead of saying no?”“Listen to yourself talk, Mean,” Rose chimed in, “beg at our feet? It’s not like it has only advantages to be part of us. He doesn’t seem to want all the attention he gets. Imagine how much worse it would be if he was a White Hand.”Mean exhaled in frustration.“But he didn’t even consider it. Not for a second. He just said no.”“You sound like nobody has ever said no to you,” Rose laughed, walked over to the couch they were sitting on and held out her hands to help them get up. “Come on, let it go. What about going out? You agreed before!”Maybe she was right. Maybe going out would help him unwind. This had been a much more stressful week than anticipated. So many new classes to adjust to. And then, the fact that they hadn’t found any suitable candidates for the two vacancies at the White Hand had started to weigh down on him, too.Normally, Mean did everything to sidestep responsibility – he had been taught that this was his unique privilege as the youngest son of his family.He had always been encouraged to follow his passions when it came to his studies and his profession, without thinking about money or responsibility. He just wanted to do music, performance… and engineering, too.His parents had always enthusiastically supported him in his endeavours.When he had first shown an interest in music, they had built a studio and had organised private tutors for him to learn to play the guitar and the piano. And after he had disassembled an old radio in his room, when he was barely able to hold a screwdriver steady, they had set up a workshop for him in a garden shed.They had even rebuilt it after he had accidentally set it on fire due to a chemistry experiment gone wrong.If people looked for leadership in his family, they should look at his oldest sister or his brother, but not him.He wasn’t stupid, he knew that this was exactly the outcome his parents had wanted for him.They didn’t want their children to fight over the positions in the family business, which among the five of them could easily have happened – so they had set each of them on the path they had envisioned for them early on.And for Mean, this had meant that they had indulged any of his hobbies and interests, as long as it didn’t involve the family business.Yet here he was, suddenly the leader of the White Hand. How was he supposed to know what to do?“Where do you want to go?” he asked the others quickly, before he could get stuck on this uncomfortable topic even more.“There’s that new club that opened just a few blocks from here… Gravity I think it’s called,” Rose seemed to have waited for him to ask, “I heard they have a really cool retro-futuristic design, turn of the millennium, think The Matrix, think late 90ies music videos.”“Why not go to Old Time Jukebox again?”“Argh, Viola, I know you like your 50ies style, but do you need to try and drag us there every weekend? I don’t feel like changing into my petticoat.”Viola looked Rose up sceptically.“It would look better than… whatever this is.”Rose was wearing a very cleanly cut white blouse over a black pencil skirt, a combination that only looked chic because it was from a recent prêt-à-porter collection by French label Céline and she had combined it with flaming red lipstick, making her face look like Snow White.Still, Viola evidently didn’t like it.“Now I definitely won’t go with you,” she protested, “come on, tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999!”“What do you think, Mean?”He shrugged.“It’s a good song.”“What?”“1999 by Prince. It’s a good song. I wish I could reach his level of brilliance just once in my life.”Rose rolled her eyes.“I know the song, I cited it, remember? I mean, where do you want to go, Jukebox or Gravity? Please don’t tell me you have another suggestion.”He didn’t mind too much one way or the other, but since he didn’t want to wait for Rose to change into different clothes to fit the style of the club, he leaned towards her suggestion.“Let’s go to the new place, then.”Mean could see what they meant with turn of the millennium style when the bouncer let them through into a corridor, its walls covered in metallic pieces and mirrors, the floor black and smooth. It led to an interior in dark blue subdued colours, alternating with silver and glassy smooth surfaces, LED lights in the ceiling like a starlit sky and the waiting staff wearing either shirts or blouses of slightly shiny black or silver silk over black trousers.The jury was still out for him as to whether he liked it or not, but he appreciated how Rose looked at it intently with her professional eye.They made their way through the already packed dancefloor towards the VIP section, where another bouncer let them through without asking who they were.No serious establishment in the city, be it a club, a restaurant, a café or a shop could afford not to recognise the White Hand, and few could refuse to give them anything but their best treatment.Despite offering them seats on a cosy corner sofa on the gallery above the dancefloor, they still needed to go down to the bar to place their orders – though Rose already announced that she wanted to get a personal waiter for them.Even though it sounded arrogant, Mean understood why she did that.Rose was such a beauty that she usually couldn’t take one step outside the VIP area without getting hit on by more or less drunk guys at every turn. And she didn’t like being at the mercy of her friends for drinks, either, since Viola, Mean, and even her fiancé Vic tended to get distracted on their way to the bar, leaving her dry and waiting for ages.As he was thinking about drinks, Mean’s gaze wandered downwards towards the bar area and remained stuck on one particular bartender. Not only did he think he looked cute in that flowy silver shirt and grey-white dyed hair – he could also swear he had seen him somewhere before.But he couldn’t place him.It bugged him so much that he leaned over to Viola next to him – Rose was busy texting Vic their location so he could join them later.“That bartender… why do I keep feeling like I should know him?”Viola frowned in surprise.“Because you do know him?”“Do I?”“That’s your Mr Higgs. His real name is Plan, by the way.”Had she known his name all this time and just casually told him… now?
Ugh, Viola.
Mean turned his head around to have another look at the bartender. That couldn’t be… no… no way.Now that Viola had said it, he saw it, too.It was just… he looked different without his enormous glasses and with silver hair that was styled properly for a change. Now that he knew who it was, he figured that the colour was probably just sprayed on, he didn’t expect… Plan to appear like this at UdG come Monday.But it wasn’t just the appearance that was different.Mr Higgs at UdG was rude and focussed. The bartender he had just admired… slightly, only slightly… had a friendly smile for every customer and seemed to enjoy taking time to mix drinks properly for his customers as long as there was no queue behind them.It was like they were two different people.Maybe Viola was wrong and it wasn’t Plan at all, but his long-lost twin or just someone who resembled him from afar.If Mean thought about it… why should Plan have to work as a bartender, hadn’t he received the most generous scholarship UdG had ever awarded just recently, precisely because they wanted him to be able to focus entirely on physics?Or had Plan missed that memo?He needed to find out more and generously offered to go down to get the first round of drinks and snacks for everyone.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Working behind a bar at a night club had a surprisingly meditative quality to it.Plan loved the retro-futuristic design, particularly the ceiling imitating a starry night sky and he loved watching people move on a full dance floor like molecules heating up and evaporating into a gas.Watching people ebb and flow around each other made him feel relaxed and had led him to enjoy attending to customers, despite most of them being drunk and erratic. It made him smile, because even seemingly erratic behaviour was never truly random, and in his mind, he started to try and calculate most probably courses drunkards would take to reach the bar, the restroom, or the exit.Before he had started working here, Plan had never thought he would enjoy this type of work, and he might count himself lucky that he hadn’t had any other options to begin with.On Monday evening, he had met with his friends Birk and Ellie, whom he had already played with as small toddlers at the edges of the rice terraces while their parents and his grandparents worked. The two of them had found their way to Bangkok maybe a year before Plan, in search of their fortunes. They wanted to make enough money to eventually get married and return to the village, though things hadn’t gone as well as they had hoped.For now, they were running a street food cart in the neighbourhood of Siam Centre.Plan had originally hoped that he could just work with them until he found something better, but since his studies only really allowed him to work late evenings and nights, Birk had given him the business card of Gravity club instead. The owner was a friend of Birk’s and had agreed to hire Plan to work two or three nights each week between Wednesday and Saturday.Today was already his third and last night shift for the week. It had been enough for him learn to mix most of the standard drinks and get a hang of the other tasks around the bar as well.“Hi, what can I get you?”The question flowed automatically off his lips by now, particularly since the club had been filling up steadily.“Plan?!”
Oh no. On no. This can’t be happening.
Plan looked directly into the face of a smiling Win. He looked the same as he remembered him, agile and handsome, with a permanent smile in his eyes.This was not supposed to happen. Win was supposed to stay in Chiang Mai.They had made good memories together, memories for Plan to think back to in bad times, and they had agreed to part ways amicably.Neither of them had any business being here and Plan was caught in a sudden fear that if he interacted with Win again, if they were both in Bangkok, the future would taint the past.He couldn’t handle this.Without answering his increasingly confused ex-boyfriend, he looked over to his colleague Grit, asked her to take his customers while he stepped out for a bit and hurried away towards the backroom.He had succeeded in losing Win in the crowd by the looks of it and headed towards the door of the staff room in relief.“Not so fast,” an unfamiliar voice behind him said.When he turned around to see who it was, he looked directly into the angry eyes of... a well-dressed, really handsome guy he had never seen before.“Errr... who are you? Why do you bother me on my break?”“Don’t play coy. Haven’t you been running away from me just now?”Plan looked the guy up and down again, trying to figure out why he should have run from him, but he came up with a blank.Now that he was looking closely, he thought he might have crossed him before, at university probably. Maybe he was one of the people following him around these days. He had kind of tuned these out.“No?”“Then who have you been running from if not me, I really-”“My ex.”“Oh.”Plan looked at the guy again. He appeared to be genuinely shocked that he hadn’t been the source of his sudden escape. But what reason should anyone have to run from a handsome guy like that?Did he have bad breath or something?Without warning, Plan was suddenly pressed against the wall by the stranger – he already tried to break free, but the guy only made a low “shh” sound, and then the footsteps he must have heard came closer. With horror, Plan noticed that Win was walking towards them.“That’s him,” he said almost tonelessly and instinctively hid his head leaning against the stranger’s chest.Somewhere in the back of his consciousness, he noticed the other’s elevated heartbeat, now that his ear was so close to his heart.*~*~*“I think he’s gone.”Mean felt reluctant to step away from the wall and let Plan go. Something about having a boy bury his head in his chest had felt disconcertingly exciting – part of him didn’t want it to end.His brain was still trying to process the facts of what had just happened. That Plan hadn’t run because of him, that he in fact didn’t seem to recognise him at all, that they had just been this close together… and that the ex he had been running away from was an ex-boyfriend.It didn’t matter, he tried to tell himself. He had already established that he wasn’t interested in him like that, it had only been about the White Hand and that had passed, too. Maybe he was just confused, because he had never met a boy who had dated another boy.That he knew of.“Thanks,” Plan said and tried to push past him.“Wait!”Even if he had given up on trying to recruit him for White Hand for now, he still wanted to get to know him.For a moment, he feared that Plan would run away from him, too. But he stopped and looked at him expectantly.“Why are you hiding from your ex?”The neutral expression in Plan’s face slipped into the slightly annoyed one he always displayed at university.“None of your concern.”No doubt thinking he had said everything there was to say about it, Plan was turning on his heel towards the interior door.Mean grabbed his wrist and held him back, resulting in a slow and already visibly angry turnaround.“What?”“It is my concern,” Mean argued, feeling a little desperate to come up with a reason to justify his curiosity, “what if you are hiding from him because you did something to him? If I’m going to be accused of helping a criminal, I’d at least want to know about it.”“I didn’t do anything to him. So, thanks again for your help. Let me go now.”Shaking his head, Mean tightened his grip and even pulled him back slightly.“I don’t believe you,” it was a lie, he didn’t think Plan was the criminal type, but by now he would be happy just to get him to answer. “Come on, just tell me. I promise I won’t tell anyone. We’re strangers. What’s the harm?”Part of him still felt wounded that Plan hadn’t recognised him – he was pretty sure he didn’t know who he was even now, you couldn’t fake the blank confused look Plan had shown earlier.While Plan silently considered it under his expecting gaze, Mean realised that his heartbeat was still elevated, strangely in rhythm with the bass of the music that was dully seeping in from the dancefloor.Finally, Plan sighed and explained:“It is nothing. I was just surprised that he’s here. He’s not supposed to be in Bangkok at all, and me neither. So… I couldn’t handle it. That’s all.”He might as well have spoken in riddles. Mean couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Much less if he pretended he didn’t know Plan was the new physics genius at UdG.“Why aren’t you supposed to be in Bangkok?”He tried to sound nice and sympathetic, hoping in vain to soften the insurmountable defences that were clearly up in the boy in front of him.“What is this, an interrogation? I gave you an answer, isn’t that enough?”“It’s not much of an answer if I don’t understand it.”Plan was incredulous, but he evidently had resigned to his fate to at least attempt another exasperated answer.“We broke up because he had ambitions about his life and I had to return to support my grandparents in my village. But there was a mistake, I had to come here and he’ll probably think I lied to him. But I didn’t. I’ll go back home soon.”Objectively, if he was a pure stranger who had just met him, this would be enough of an answer, and Mean regretfully let go of his wrist.The thing was… Mean knew who Plan was, which meant he also knew that the boy was lying, or at least not telling the full truth. Plan had only just started his studies, and if Mean assumed that he wouldn’t just abandon his career, he would be here for at least three years, probably more.“What kind of mistake?”“What do you want from me? Why are you asking all these questions like an interrogation?”Wasn’t he a suspicious one?The problem was... the more Plan was abrasive and pushed him back, the more Mean believed it would be worth getting the truth out of him.Maybe he needed to turn the tables on him. Mean had watched Viola play poker enough to know you needed to bait and bluff sometimes.“I just thought you were upset about your ex. I’m sure I would be if it was me. I thought you could use a sympathetic ear. But if that isn’t the case... I’ll leave first.”He was already walking away, when he could suddenly hear Plan shuffle behind him and a heartbeat later, he felt nimble fingers and a rough palm searching their way around his wrist, getting a hold of him.Turning on his heel, he looked into the suddenly much softer gaze of the other boy.“I’m sorry... you didn’t do anything to warrant this,” he said. “Why did you think I was running from you at first? Do I know you?”Cheeky.So… he was curious, too.Mean quickly shook his head.“I mistook you for someone else.”“Oh... no problem. It happens.”Mean wasn’t quite willing to trust the sudden friendliness, even though he liked it much better.Who would have guessed? Was it really as easy as this? Just back off and wait?He didn’t want to think about the implications that he had now kind of lied to Plan.He could only hope that his disinterest in White Hand was as absolute as he had made it out to be, then maybe he would never connect the dots between their first embarrassing meeting and... now.“Does your offer still stand? About listening? I might... need to get it off my chest before I return to work.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Wasn’t there a cliché about lonely customers talking to barkeepers about their problems?Well… there was no rule that said it couldn’t be the other way around, too. Plan had taken a few steps over to the staff room door and had invited the stranger to accompany him on his break. The staff room wasn’t a very comfortable place – Plan suspected that it wasn’t by accident.They didn’t have any scheduled breaks, but were allowed to step out when the customer flow allowed it – which usually led to staff barely taking any breaks at all. And those who did rarely stayed away long, no doubt also because of this cold and bleak room.There was a row of lockers for the employees to store their change of clothes and bags alongside one wall and next to the door, and a bench like in a locker room in a gym alongside the two other walls. In the corner, where the two benches met, was an old, dented metal table that the staff could sit at to eat during their break.But the most uncomfortable feature about the room was the bright neon light that illuminated it all, making the raw grey walls look even more bleak than necessary.Plan blinked to adjust his eyes from the dim light in the corridor outside.He avoided looking at the stranger he had brought here. There was a sense of familiarity creeping up on him, not just from having been so physically close to him just before, but also from the suspicion that they had met previously. Plan just didn’t remember.He didn’t want to dwell on it.Now that they were inside and Plan had taken a seat at the table – he didn’t bother inviting the other guy to sit with him, he correctly assumed that he would follow on his own – the exhaustion that had built up in his body over the last days suddenly came crashing down on him.He lowered his front onto the table and needed to fight against his urge to fall asleep.He had arrived on an overnight train from Chiang Mai on Monday morning and had gone on to attend the freshmen orientation directly afterwards. He had used his first day at university almost exclusively to download and read through the most interesting papers in particle physics that had been hidden behind a pay wall when he had tried to access them from his old school.Since he hadn’t had a place to stay in Bangkok on Monday, he had talked Birk and Ellie into letting him stay with them – which had been such an uncomfortable and stuffy situation in their small apartment without air conditioning, that he had barely been able to doze off, let alone sleep.Bare conditions were fine in the village where night often brought a fresh breeze from the mountains, cooled by the flooded rice paddies like natural air conditioning, and you could always sleep in a hammock outside on the porch if it still got too stuffy inside.But in Bangkok in the hot, polluted city air, even the night air was torture.The next day, they had met one of Ellie’s friends for breakfast. She worked as a maid for some rich household, and even though she didn’t know Plan at all and he had already forgotten her name by now, she had taken him with her to work and had talked the housekeeper there into allowing him to stay in the empty side-room of the pool house.Similar to the arrangement he had had with the school director in Chiang Mai, he had promised to help out the gardener on weekends in return. The housekeeper seemed pleased to hear that he was both a farmer and a university student.She had muttered something about wishing her son was this hard working and dedicated.Plan genuinely liked staying at the pool house. It was naturally cooler due to the proximity of the water and the flower garden behind it reminded him of his high school years. He could almost forget about the big city outside.Plus, it was close enough to UdG that he could walk there, saving him a lot of transportation money.After finding this place to stay, he had had only one night of reasonably good sleep – then he had started to work at the club.“You don’t look too good,” the stranger said.He had almost forgotten about him already.Without lifting up his head, eyes still closed, Plan repeated:“I shouldn’t have come here. I’m exhausted and in over my head.”As he spoke the words out loud, the reality of it began to truly hit him. He was sleep deprived, overwhelmed and lonely, and now Win had reappeared in front of him, too, like a spectre from a simpler past.*~*~*Mean should have known that spending time with Plan wouldn’t make him any less enigmatic.At first, he had felt strangely elated to not only getting asked if he would listen to him, but also accompany him into the staff room – however regrettably uncomfortable the room turned out to be.But then, he had gotten more and more confused and increasingly concerned about Plan’s behaviour. It was a strange mix of blind trust to an apparent stranger while still keeping all his ridiculous defences up.On the one hand, putting his head on the table in front of him was a very trusting gesture.On the other hand, his words still didn’t make any sense and up to a degree, he seemed to have forgotten he wasn’t alone, even while he was talking to him.Mean wondered what “here” he was referring to now – the staff room, the club, or still Bangkok in general?He wanted to ask what had happened, but the earlier experience had taught him that waiting for Plan to talk on his own might get better results.“What was I supposed to do? I tried to tell them I’m not what they think I am. Why do elders always just nod patiently and then ignore what you say... so patronising.”“Mhm.”Mean had no idea what this was all about, but he hoped that if he encouraged him a bit, but not too much to shut himself out again, he could eventually piece together the whole story.One thing was clear at least – the arrogant and aloof genius image that Plan had cultivated at university was either a very convincing front or entirely accidental.“You know… it used to be so easy. Make good memories with Win, wrap them tightly in my heart and go back where I belong. Take enough material with me to keep my mind occupied. Work hard to support my grandparents. Look at the stars, learn… and dream.”Win was probably the guy that he was currently hiding from?Mean would be lying if he said he understood any of this – but the more he heard of Plan’s incoherent ramblings, not minding him at all, the more he was drawn into the mystery.At this point, he didn’t even know why he was so desperate to solve it in the first place… just that he was.Desperate.Hesitantly at first, he put his palm on Plan’s back, making him flinch and recoil a bit. He neither ran away nor protested it, though, and Mean left it there.“Why did the director have to send that stupid paper to that competition behind my back? It wasn’t even anything special, why is everyone freaking out about it?”Finally.This was a point Mean understood.Not least because Plan had turned down his offer to join the White Hand, everyone at UdG had heard the story. The way Mean had heard it, though, that paper had been special and he was baffled that Plan seemed to think otherwise.Prof. Marsden had gone on record saying an average first year master’s student would have difficulties understanding the paper, let alone write it. That was why she had suggested the special scholarship and everything.It was a shame that he couldn’t ask Plan about it without giving himself away. He officially didn’t know Plan was a physics student right now.“What am I gonna do if I have to give the money back before I earn enough? I can’t afford to lose this job. But now Win knows and I don’t want to get back together.”“Do you owe him money?”Upon hearing the question, Plan lifted his head and leaned back up. Mean immediately pulled back his hand and was irrationally afraid that he had hit the invisible wall again.However, Plan didn’t sit up to run away. He only shook his head.“No, of course not. How could we call it quits like that if I still owed him? You misunderstand.”Plan then suddenly proceeded to tell the story of his first love to Mean, of karaoke nights between the math club and the badminton team, calculations and observations on the badminton court, secret kisses behind school buildings and in the school director’s garden.Once he had truly started talking, it was like a floodgate had opened.It was difficult for Mean again, connecting this guy happily talking about karaoke, friendships, and love, with the walled-off arrogant physics genius everyone thought he was.Mean had very conflicting feelings about hearing this love story, though, and he didn’t want to figure out what they meant.Maybe he was envious of Plan for having experienced a sweet first love, even if it had ended bittersweetly, while Mean had always backed out with a smile whenever he was close to feeling butterflies in his stomach – and he always kind of blamed it on his generally non-committing lifestyle.After Plan had told him about the agreement that had let to the end of his relationship with Win, he had continued seamlessly on to tell him about his return to the village, the reporters that had found him there and the Professor turning up personally to convince him to come to Bangkok.“So… wait,” Mean interrupted him, because it seriously didn’t make any sense, “don’t you know how scholarships work? You’re not expected to pay them back. They are awarded, so you can focus on your studies.”Plan rolled his eyes.“Let me guess… you have never been poor in your life, have you?”“What does this have to do with everything?”Plan sighed.“When you’re poor, rules don’t have that much weight. What can I do if they want the money back, because I can’t fulfil their expectations? Sue them? Wait for them to sue me? That’s not something I could afford to do. I would neither be able to bring up the money, nor the time, nor the energy.”Mean’s mouth fell open.No, he had never been poor in his life, quite the opposite – but as much as he was now intensely thinking about it, under Plan’s expectant gaze, he couldn’t come up with a plausible scenario that would lead the sponsors to want the scholarship back, unless…“Was it someone else’s paper?”Maybe this was why he was running away from his ex? The real genius wasn’t him but that Win guy?Plan shook his head.“No, I wrote it. But it was just a quick thing I put together because I needed to hand something in. I was playing around with that simulation software I found online…” his eyes suddenly lit up, “it’s really cool, you can enter an algorithm and use a dataset and then you can just let it run its course and observe the variation of each iteration. Ah, you probably aren’t into this stuff… just… I was working on an old computer, so the processor speed was too slow for the kind of complexity I wanted to simulate. I had to reduce the dataset to filter out a few key variables and adjust the algorithm accordingly, to use less processing power and still get a good result, and that’s what I wrote in that paper.”If Plan thought this was something trivial, Mean wondered what he would find difficult.The thing wasn’t that he had played around with whatever software he had been using – he was right, this was easy, even second year students in applied physics like him could do it – what let him listen up was the matter-of-fact way Plan talked about reducing the data set.Since Plan was a theoretical physicist, Mean could only assume he had found a mathematical way to formalise the data reduction, which would be... wow. Usually, this was the kind of problem even experts failed at – it was much easier in this day and age to just add more data to get better results by brute forcing the solution, rather than think smart. If Plan’s paper proved, or merely indicated, that he could get the same results by using fewer data points and less processing power for whatever simulation he was trying to run… he might want to patent his findings and sell his method to a tech company.Yet here Mean was, pretending not to understand any of this.“I have no clue what you’ve just been talking about, but you don’t sound like someone who wouldn’t deserve a scholarship…”Plan just groaned.“They want me to write a series of tests next week. I think it’s some kind of entrance exam? I’m gonna fail so hard, I haven’t even been able to prepare properly.”This was frustrating.It wasn’t an entrance exam.Mean had heard of it.They would allow Plan to take the exams for all of the introductory courses, because Prof. Marsden hoped to start him on the advanced courses directly and not bog him down with stuff he already knew.But of course, Mean couldn’t tell him, because he wasn’t here as himself currently, he was playing the role of sympathetic stranger in a ridiculously pointless drama that only played out only in Plan’s head.He wanted to shake him and tell him to stop acting like he wasn’t a genius.“What if you don’t fail?”Plan looked at him in surprise, as if the possibility of success hadn’t even crossed his mind.“Then… I’m even more screwed.”“Why?”“I didn’t think this far ahead.”Now, Mean seriously couldn’t prevent himself from shaking his head.Was this the reason he hadn’t even considered his offer to join the White Hand?Because he was convinced he would be sent home again? That didn’t make any sense. If there was one student who definitely belonged at UdG, it was Plan. Not just because of that paper.Whenever Mean had seen him at university these last few days, he had usually been reading scientific papers on his phone or writing down notes in his notebook. Even if for some unknown reason, that paper had oversold Plan’s capabilities by a lot – his dedication to physics alone would more than justify the scholarship.Mean knew that his own family was one of the sponsors of the scholarship – and he knew his parents. They wouldn’t be petty and take away a scholarship they awarded, particularly one that was based on a professor’s urgent recommendation.If anyone got in trouble for suggesting him for a scholarship, in the very unlikely event that Plan really wasn’t as good as everyone thought he was, it would be Prof. Marsden, not him.Except for plagiarism, Mean couldn’t think of any reason anyone would take away the scholarship from him.“Maybe you should start considering that possibility,” Mean said, as gently as he could, “and… as someone who moves in a lot of different circles, let me give you a piece of advice: wherever you go, make at least one friend, or an ally, if friendship is too high a bar. It’s always easier if you have someone to share your experience with – no matter if I am just at a photoshoot for a few hours or in the studio for a few weeks, I always try to connect with at least one sympathetic person there.”He could feel Plan’s scrutinising gaze on him.“Is this your way of getting me to be your friend?”
Yes, you idiot.
“If you want?”Mean hadn’t expected him to actually listen to him – but Plan handed him his unlocked phone on a blank contact page.Without comment, Mean typed in his number and saved it under Stranger. He also rang himself, so he had Plan’s number.He was aware that their tentative friendship would probably barely survive the weekend. And if Mean somehow made it to Monday without being found out, the penny would surely drop at university.And Plan would probably rightly feel betrayed.Still… Mean didn’t have the heart to tell him who he really was.“What will you do about your ex?”Anxiously waiting for the answer, Mean couldn’t tell what he wanted him to say – something about him revolted at the idea of seeing Plan getting back together with his badminton lover… yet another part of him would welcome it, before he was tempted… no, there was nothing.When no answer came, Mean got up from the uncomfortable bench determinedly.“I’ll better go back to my friends. I promised them drinks, oh, half an hour ago already.”Plan jerked up from his seat as well, suddenly realising that he should get back behind the bar quickly.“Thanks for the talk, friend,” he said, just before he disappeared out of the staff room.Mean followed with a frown.How big were the chances that he would forgive him for omitting the truth?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“What took you so long?” Rose shouted when Mean finally reached their corner sofa again.He just shrugged.He didn’t know how to explain it. What should he say? That he had found out Plan had an ex-boyfriend whom he was running away from? That he had talked him into befriending him, without revealing his identity?No, he better kept that to himself, they would find out about the trouble he was in soon enough anyway.“Ah, nothing… bar was short-staffed. They’ll send someone up with our order.”He caught Viola’s raised eyebrow.Damn, what was going on in her head? She was probably already forming all kinds of theories in her head about what had really held him up – and of course she wouldn’t tell him her theories until it gave her an advantage of some kind.Why were they friends again?Rose’s fiancé Vic had also arrived in the meantime, and he was already sitting comfortably next to her, his arm stretched on the headrest behind her, legs spread out comfortably, barely leaving any space for Mean to squeeze in next to him.Rose was moving closer to Viola in an attempt to accommodate him.That’s what he got for offering to get drinks for everyone.Vic seemed unusually moody tonight and complained about his co-workers at the subsidiary of the family business he had taken over recently, and judging by the way both Viola and Rose were nodding, he was continuing a rant he had started while Mean was in the backroom talking to a physics genius in denial.Kind of fitting, that he was working in a bar called Gravity, he mused.Since he wasn’t particularly interested in Vic’s work problems, Mean’s gaze almost automatically wandered to the bar, where Plan had returned to, looking as cheerful and relaxed as he had before he had seen his ex in the crowd.There was something intoxicating about watching him mix the drinks that got ordered calmly, methodically, as if he was working in a lab and not behind a bar. It almost felt like watching a looping gif – Plan’s open smile at the next customer, the slight nod in acknowledgement of the order, then the actual preparation of the drinks, handing it over, accepting payment – next.Mean caught himself waiting for the start in each loop, the smile, the nod…Plan’s colleague Grit soon arrived with their order – she looked a bit like Trinity out of the Matrix movies, as if she had been chosen to work here based on looks first – and she had promised to come back and take another order from them in a bit, but they could always come down to the bar, too, if there was anything else.Watching her walk away made Mean question the reality of this situation, this club in general – he shouldn’t have thought of the Matrix just now, the repeating loop of Plan working… maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if all of this was just a simulation.He tore his gaze – and his thoughts – away from the bar and took up the glass of whisky he had ordered, turning his attention determinedly towards his friends.They toasted to a successful start of the semester and while Vic demanded the attention of the girls again soon, Mean’s eyes wandered over the dancefloor, always eventually finding their way back to the bar… and the bartender.What if he sent him a message? He had his number now. He should use the opportunity, as long as Plan didn’t make the connection with the invitation he had turned down at the beginning of the week and felt betrayed.No, it was stupid. He wouldn’t see it until his shift ended, anyway.As the evening went on, his increasing level of alcohol only made it harder to tear his gaze away from him, even after he eventually joined in the conversation with the others again.At first, he didn’t think anyone had noticed that he was distracted, but then Viola and Rose excused themselves to join the inevitably long queue in front of the women’s restroom, and Mean found himself alone with Vic.“He’s a cutie, isn’t he?”“Who now?”Vic nodded at Plan.“The one you’ve been ogling all night.”Shit. Had he been this obvious?This was bad. This was really bad. Particularly since he didn’t… it was just…“I haven’t been ogling anyone.”Vic leaned back into the sofa.“All the better, I was thinking about making a pass at him later on.”Mean automatically moved aside a bit and looked at Vic with a mixture of confusion and anger.“You… what?”Vic smiled broadly.“Can’t let a handsome guy like this slip away without trying at least.”Mean had so many questions he didn’t know where to start.“What about Rose?”Vic laughed and shrugged.“She doesn’t mind.”Wasn’t this what all shady guys said? Did he plan on cheating on his fiancée even before their wedding? Shouldn’t Mean do something about it?“Why would you make a pass at a guy?”With a smirk, Vic leaned over to him until he was close to his cheek. Mean instinctively leaned away.“Because I like guys,” Vic said softly.It… but…“… and what about Rose?”“She knows.”Okay… he… for now, he would just let it go. This was too complicated. It was none of his business what went on in their relationship, even though Mean couldn’t think of a reason why Rose would be okay with her fiancé liking guys and making passes at them openly and everything.He tried to push back the realisation that since Plan already had an ex-boyfriend, he might be open to have another one – and Vic was a good catch, if you ignored the fact that he was engaged to be married. He was tall and athletic – Plan’s ex was also athletic, a badminton player, maybe he liked athletic guys?Worse, Vic regularly got compliments for his striking features, some even compared him to a Korean Hallyu star, and if he hadn’t been set on taking over his family business after his father, he could easily have made a career as an actor or a model.It wasn’t that Mean wasn’t considered equally handsome at least, he had been the face of their new airline campaign after all, and if he went down to the dancefloor for a while, he would probably be surrounded by fangirls soon… it was just… Vic was effortlessly cool like his sister and a little dark and edgy, but not too much, the perfect crush for many girls… and boys.Mean needed to suppress a sigh.“What makes you think Pl-… that bartender might want you?”“Ah… you do know him, don’t you? Have you talked to him just before, maybe?”Vic’s face was still uncomfortably close to him.“He’s just a new student at UdG that I’m considering for White Hand.”No need to tell him they had talked earlier. No need to tell him he had befriended him under a pretext.“Ahh… In that case, you wouldn’t mind if I gave him my number later on, would you?”How dare he? He didn’t want anyone else getting Plan’s number, he had worked hard to get it. Vic shouldn’t…“Again… what makes you think he’s open to flirt with guys?”Vic shrugged.“Dunno. You rarely know until you ask. But with a face like that – it’s always worth a try.”After a pause, in which Vic had thankfully leaned back a bit, Mean could suddenly feel the older one’s scrutinising gaze on him.“What about you, though, Meanie?” he smirked, “now that I see you like this… what about you, indeed… do you like guys, too, maybe?”“Do you always spin yarn like that?”No matter what he said now, Mean feared that he had been found out and he didn’t like it.After their previous interaction, he didn’t trust Vic anymore. Despite him being his best friend’s older brother, Mean hadn’t had much contact with him in the past, before Vic had suddenly announced his engagement to Rose, and now he tagged along with them too often.Mean wouldn’t mind if he went back to his own circle of friends soon.Either Vic was a sleazy character who was cheating on his fiancée behind her back, or one sleeping around while having a fiancée, brainwashing her into accepting it – but most importantly, he was the dangerous guy who had just stumbled upon the secret Mean had wanted to bury at least until the end of his university years, not just from the world, but from himself, too.“Relax. You look like you have seen a ghost. I won’t tell anyone, scout’s honour!” Vic raised an eyebrow and suddenly leaned in again, “call me if you feel lonely, I’m sure I could make you moan very beautifully. No strings attached. Just because it’s you.”Mean nearly fell off the sofa in his attempt to move away from him.What was wrong with people, really?Okay, maybe he was denying his attraction to guys and maybe he thought Vic was good-looking on the surface, but hell would freeze over before he had any interest in landing in his bed. Not even out of curiosity.He wasn’t interested in sleeping around in general – not least because he needed to think about his parents’ reputation, too.They might have given him a life without responsibilities and the freedom to do whatever he wanted – making headlines because he was screwing guys wasn’t part of that deal. And before he had established himself as a singer or a songwriter or an inventor or something else, nobody had any business knowing he was gay.And even if he somehow decided to give sleeping around a try – Vic was out of the question even then, scumbag.“Make up your mind about that little cutie down there, too. I’ll give you a head start, for the sake of my sister’s friendship with you. But I won’t hold back forever if you don’t claim him.”“He’s very good at saying no,” Mean stupidly blurted out.He shouldn’t drink alcohol, it didn’t do him any favours.Right now, Plan being good at saying no and having an ex-boyfriend also chasing after him was actually the only reassuring part Mean could think of. It wasn’t that he wanted to have him for himself per se… he just… he was confused, okay?“Even better,” Vic practically beamed at him, “nothing is more satisfying than a good chase. You’re really wetting my appetite here.”An overwhelming urge to protect Plan from the dirty claws of this guy suddenly encompassed him, but before he could act on it, Viola and Rose thankfully returned from the restroom, still holding hands from navigating the crowds on their way back up here. They both looked slightly flushed, as if the air conditioning wasn’t working properly in the corridors.“What took you so long? I can’t believe queues at women’s restrooms are this brutal all the time.”He watched them sit down and caught Vic’s gaze again. The guy had raised an eyebrow as if he tried to tell him something, but Mean was done listening to him.He would try to convince Rose to find another fiancé.The prospect of Vic potentially making a pass at Plan made him nervous and he suddenly felt the urge to check up on the boy behind the bar. Maybe see if the annoying ex had returned in the meantime.“I’ll go down to get another drink.”*~*~*“Do you think he’s making progress?” Viola asked the two others, as soon as Mean was out of earshot.“Doubtful,” her brother grinned, “you were right, sis. He’s hopeless. Why didn’t you tell me he got rejected already?”Viola looked up.“Did he?”She hadn’t known that.That… complicated things. She wouldn’t have bet on Mean having the guts to ask him out already – usually, he ran away screaming as soon as the boy he had been eying up even hinted at making a move on him, let alone taking the initiative himself.It was a shame. She had had high hopes for Mr Einstein.“That’s what he claimed. He said that the barkeeper was good at saying no…”Viola laughed.“Ah, but that was different. I told you Mr Genius refused to join the White Hand, didn’t I? You should have seen it, it was glorious. Meanie was standing there, trying to get his attention, and he just… ignored him. But that’s when I knew…”Her best friend might not have understood his own feelings, yet – but Viola knew him. Mean had been smitten when he had first seen Plan, even before he knew who he was, just based on looks alone. And she was sure that they would be a good match, provided that Plan wasn’t totally opposed to dating a boy.Mean was well suited to draw the reclusive genius out of his shell, and on the flipside, Plan might give Mean a bit of focus in his life.Above all, Viola really wanted Mean to start dating and finally figure himself out. She couldn’t stand and watch him avoid the issue any longer, losing precious time being scared. She loved Mean to death, as a friend, she really did, they had gone through a lot together during their unsteady teenage years, but in this matter, he was just clueless.The dork probably still thought she didn’t know he was gay. He also hadn’t figured out that she and Rose had been dating for over a year right under his nose.“So… if you manage to convince the barkeeper guy to date your leader and to join you, this year’s White Hand will go down in history as the first entirely gay version?” Vic observed.“There’s still the open fifth slot…”“Even if that person is your token straight, you might as well rename yourself as the Rainbow Hand.”“Did he actually come out to you?”Rose tilted her head as she asked.“Not in his own words… but no doubt,” he chuckled, “though, speaking of that… The two of you owe me. Because I tried to be a good brother, Mean now thinks I’m a villain who is cheating on his pure fiancée with guys. And I might have tried to provoke him a bit by insinuating things. Just… tell him, soon, will you?”His chuckle turned into full on laughter.“It was funny, though, seeing his face when I told him I might want to make a pass at his precious boy. He was ready to jump at my throat. Shame Mean isn’t my type – he would have made a good husband for you, sister, love.”Viola smiled softly in response.“Don’t worry, Vic. I will keep my side of the deal when the time comes. I trust your taste to get me a good husband. We’re family, after all.”She wondered what kind of man her brother would want to settle down with, though. Contrary to Mean, Vic hadn’t held back – yet so far, he had also never been serious enough with anyone to actually let her meet the guy. She doubted that he had had any relationship that lasted longer than a about a month.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mean had a problem.His face.Normally, his looks were one of his main assets and it helped him in a lot of ways. But right now, he was trying to get as friendly as possible with Plan before he found out who he was… and since he had starred in the advertising campaign for his family’s new airline, people tended to recognise him.He hadn’t really thought of it when he had first gone down to get drinks, since he hadn’t pretended to be anyone else then – and he had disappeared into the side corridor when he had followed Plan, before people had realised he was at this club.He wished he had taken something with him that he could wear to hide behind, glasses maybe or a scarf. Instead, he kept his head down in an unassuming posture as he went to the bar.“Hi, what can I get y-” Plan stopped his routine when he recognised him and smiled, “oh, hi again, stranger. Do you want to order something?”Mean automatically smiled back. Even though he had been watching Plan work all evening, he still couldn’t get over how hot he looked in his work clothes, without the dishevelled hair and the enormous glasses.Though the glasses were cute, too, in a different way.He considered what he should order. Alcohol didn’t do him any favour tonight, maybe he should order soda or something?Come to think of it, he actually didn’t really want to order anything.“When does your shift end?”Feeling a bit tipsy might not be all bad. He probably wouldn’t have dared to ask if he was sober – and if Vic’s words weren’t still echoing in his brain.He didn’t want Vic to make a pass at Plan. So... he needed to rescue him first. That was what he was doing.A rescue mission.Nothing else.Plan looked at his watch.“I worked the opening shift today, so… I’ll be off soon.”Why was he so unspecific again?
Back to square one?
“Soon as in… five minutes or soon as in an hour?”“Why?”Had he really closed himself off again already?“I just thought…”Why was he so reluctant all of a sudden? Mean wasn’t usually like this.Well, okay, that wasn’t true, he wasn’t usually like this except when he was talking to someone he found attractive.Rescue mission.He needed to remember that he was on a rescue mission.“Do you want to go somewhere else with me? As friends?”Instead of answering, Plan walked over to Grit, exchanged a few words with her that Mean couldn’t hear in the loud music of the club and when he came back, he smiled.“Let’s go.”Perplexed, Mean looked around and followed Plan, who was already on his way towards the staff room.Luckily, Mean didn’t have a jacket or a bag he needed to fetch – he didn’t trust Plan not to make a run for it if he let him out of his sight.Before he disappeared into the back corridor, Mean looked up to the VIP gallery and waved a goodbye in the general direction of his friends. Viola waved back. Mean was too focussed on not losing Plan to notice the wide grin on his best friend’s face.He didn’t need to wait for long outside the staff room until Plan came out, wearing his ill-fitting university uniform again, as well as the glasses he usually hid behind. Instead of stylish, the silver hair and the wrinkled shirt now made him look like an old person with surreally smooth skin.Mean smiled at the mental image of Plan as a smooth-skinned grumpy old man.“Where to now?”Mean shrugged.He hadn’t had any time to come up with anything, he was thinking on his feet right now.“Do you know how to drive? I’ve got my car over there, but I’m too drunk.”Everything to buy time.Plan tilted his head.“Don’t have a licence.”“But you know how to drive? Come on, if we get caught, I’ll bail you out.”Even though Plan hadn’t answered, Mean made his way towards the car. The other boy could always protest if he didn’t want to.“Maybe we should take the bus instead?”
The bus?!
Mean had never taken the bus. And he would not start now. Too many uncontrollable variables: people recognising him, people acting strange... the ad campaign featuring his face plastered all over the interior.If Plan wasn’t comfortable driving, Mean could simply call someone to drive the car for them.Without hesitation, he took out his phone and dialled the number of the housekeeper of his family’s house.She was probably not expecting his call, yet. Usually, if he wanted her to send someone to drive him home, it was much later at night – or earlier in the morning, depending on how you looked at it.He didn’t call her that often at night anymore, but he was sure she would still be awake or only lightly sleeping. She always worried about the children of the house when they were out, and about him as the youngest in particular.He opened the backdoor of his silver BMW and shoved Plan inside – not violently, just… with determination.“Wait here, I’ll call a driver.”Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Plan’s mouth drop open. He would really love to know what he was thinking. But there was no time. He wanted to get away from here quickly.While he was closing the door behind Plan, he was surprised to see him lie down sprawled across the back seats and it appeared as if he was falling asleep on the spot.He had looked tired before, but just how tired was he really, to lie down and doze off like that in the back of a stranger’s car?With a shrug, Mean called the housekeeper, who was indeed surprised to hear that he was calling so early. But the true nice auntie that she was to the family’s children, she was happy to send her son Tio to him right away.Mean was relieved.Tio had the same age as him and before the family had instilled a sense of social class into both of them, they had regularly played together.Though Tio was currently studying agriculture at another university, Mean suspected that auntie was grooming him to become Mean’s butler, or personal assistant, depending on how traditional he wanted to be.As much as he didn’t want to think about the implications of having to employ his childhood playmate as his butler or PA in the future, he could at least be reasonably certain that Tio wouldn’t gossip about him taking another boy somewhere... as a friend.Hesitant what he wanted to do while he waited, since he didn’t want to disturb Plan in his sleep, he stood around on the parking lot.Rapid movement on the left side of his field of vision finally caught his attention, and when he looked to see what it was, his heart sank a bit.The guy called Win, Plan’s ex, was hurrying towards him.He instinctively moved away from the backdoor of the car towards the rear end. His car had tinted windows. As long as Plan remained asleep, there was a chance Win wouldn’t see him inside.Mean had no interest in being present during the hopefully not too happy reunion of the ex-boyfriends.“Hey! You!” Win shouted at him.Mean merely lifted an eyebrow.“I saw you leave with the barkeeper. Where is he?”Even with an angry frown wrinkling his forehead, Mean had to concede that Win was very cute. Plan had good taste. They must have looked adorable together, two soft boys in love, one athletic and energetic, the other brainy and dedicated.He didn’t like that thought and pushed it away energetically. He didn’t want to think of these two cute boys together. It only highlighted what he was missing out on himself by avoiding to date at all.“Why do you want to know? Who is he to you?”“My boyfriend.”Mean flinched slightly upon hearing the word. Not entirely without self-interest, he was inclined to believe Plan’s version of events.“Really? To me, he said he wanted to get away from his ex.”Win’s facial expression slipped for a moment into a pained grimace, but he caught himself fast.“That’s kind of why I am looking for him...”“Him running away from you?”That was some solid logic right there.Mean wondered what made Win so confident that he wasn’t talking to Plan’s new boyfriend right now. What would speak against Plan dating someone new?The guy had guts, he had to give him that, though.
Grudgingly.
“No. Look. We only separated because we thought we would be at different places, too far apart from each other. But by insane chance, we both ended up here at UdG. I think it’s fate. It has to be. I didn’t expect to get accepted into the badminton team here, and he has got a very prestigious scholarship! From the same uni! Imagine that! It was all over the news. Please tell me where he went... I’m sure he just panicked when he saw me. He probably thinks I don’t know about his scholarship and that I’m angry at him for being here. But he’ll come back to me once he sees that fate wants us to be together.”Were all guys from the Chiang Mai region delusional in some way?Plan was convinced his genius wasn’t enough to warrant a scholarship, and Win thought getting accepted to the same university as your old flame was a sign of fate.Mean was sure he could create the same kind of ridiculous fate story about him and Plan, too, if he wanted to. For example, that they had gone with Rose’s suggestions about going to Gravity, and not Viola’s who had wanted to go to the Jukebox. Or that Win had turned up just when Mean had arrived at the bar, giving him an opportunity to get to know Plan, he would otherwise never have had.Or the fact that fate had already made Win narrowly miss Plan twice tonight.Incidentally, that specific fate had a name: Mean.See? It was so easy.“I don’t know where he went.”Mean prayed to the gods that Plan wouldn’t suddenly wake up and expose his lies. Win would probably say he was tempting fate right now, if he knew what was actually going on.“Why was he even leaving with you? Who are you?”What was it with freshmen this year not recognising the importance of White Hand? Was he really such a pathetic leader? His parents must be proud.He glared at Win with his most intimidating gaze.“Have you never heard of White Hand?”With some satisfaction, Mean watched the colour leave Win’s face upon hearing that name. It felt like he only now looked at him properly.“You... are Mean? White Hand leader? I... I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you.” He immediately put his hands together and bowed low.“Please don’t hold it against me, I’m new to UdG. Please, I meant no insult. I understand now. Of course, you would want to recruit Plan. He’s a genius.”Mean wondered whether this meant Win was ready to give up on his ridiculous fate theory. Didn’t he see that Plan was destined for greater things than a provincial life with a cute, but ultimately ordinary boy?He was a bit conflicted whether he wanted to be relieved or hurt that Win didn’t seem to see him as a rival for Plan’s heart.After Vic’s disturbing move earlier, going as far as proposing a one-night stand to him, it was comforting to know that he didn’t give off enough gay vibes for Win to catch on to him... meaning his secret was still somewhat safe, at least.But then... he... couldn’t deny his unhealthy fascination with Plan and he hated the fact that he was seemingly under so much pressure to make up his mind about him.He had barely managed to get him away from Vic’s horny claws, and now Win’s desperate declaration of love showed him that Plan wouldn’t have to worry about staying single forever, if he didn’t want to.In his imagination, in the rare moments Mean had allowed himself to dream of love in the safety of his room, he had always thought that the first boy he would have any tangible interest in would be someone who only he recognised, only he could really understand.While you could mistake Plan for someone like this on the surface, Mean was clearly one among many to be intrigued by him.He was in too much confusion at the moment to figure out whether this meant he would want to give up on Plan, since he just proved yet again how far he was from being Mean’s dream boyfriend, or whether he wanted to try it.In any event, he had tried to forget about Plan constantly since their first interaction at university a week ago, yet here he was, hiding him in his car and fending off his ex-boyfriend.“I already invited him to join, but he wasn’t interested. So...”A deep sigh escaped Win.“Please don’t give up trying to recruit him. He’s a bit... he’s really humble, you see. He probably thinks there are better candidates than him and he would take someone else’s rightful place by accepting it. But believe me, he really deserves it. There’s nobody smarter than him.”The energy with which Win now advocated for Plan made Mean suspicious.He suddenly remembered Plan’s story about how they had separated because Win had had ambitions as a sportsman and a businessman, while Plan had needed to return to his village.Was this part of Win’s ambitions? Push Plan to join White Hand, so he could be the boyfriend of a member of the UdG elite and further his own career? Was all this fate nonsense just there to make Plan part of his ambition?“You know that we don’t date, right?” How grateful Mean was for that rule again. It was a nice loophole to buy him time to figure things out. “If Plan joins us, he won’t get back together with you.”“Are you for real?” Win’s eyes widened. “Everyone knows all of you are dating in secret. I guess you probably need to give me a PR answer. I get it, I’m just a stranger to you. It is all over social media that you and that biker girl are an item. So... if you accept Plan, you wouldn’t have to worry. I would be a very discreet boyfriend. You would barely notice me. We’re good at hiding it, nobody found out about us during high school.”The confidence this guy had... Mean wondered where it came from. Hiding a hapless high school romance and hiding a relationship while being in the public eye as a member of White Hand were quite different things.At least he understood now why Win didn’t consider him as a rival. He believed these ridiculous stories about Viola and him.Why was it so hard for people to believe that girls and boys could be close friends, without falling in love with each other?Granted, in his case, it was because he wasn’t into girls in general – but if he needed to date a girl, someone like Viola would fit him just fine. And still, there had never been any danger of them misunderstanding their affection for each other as anything other than friendship.He didn’t think Viola was interested in dating seriously, either, though she loved to tease him about wanting to hook him up with anyone he looked at for more than a second. If she had ever been with someone, pokerfaced Viola would have known how to keep it hidden from everyone, including him.They shared many things with each other, their worries, their happiness, in all aspects of life, except this one. They had never spoken about their love life – non-existent in Mean’s case. He didn’t even know what kind of guy Viola would be interested in. He wasn’t particularly keen to know.“Do you think this rule is just there for show? Don’t believe everything you read. If I make another invitation to your ex-boyfriend, and he accepts, he can’t date you. Out of the question.”“Don’t make him choose!”The loud protest made Mean smirk.If he understood Plan correctly, the choice was an entirely different one. He would certainly try to reject both – getting together again with Win as well as joining White Hand.But it only made Mean determined to get him to accept his invitation eventually, and to rigorously enforce the no dating rule on him.Thankfully, the characteristic rattling noise of auntie’s old scooter slowly drew closer in the background and soon filled the parking lot. Mean would finally get away from Plans disconcertingly cocky ex-lover boy.While Tio tried to find a place to squeeze the scooter in among the other parked motor bikes, Mean was trying to distract himself with fond memories of auntie’s scooter, instead of continuing to bother with Win’s presence.That machine had probably had all of its parts replaced by Viola over the course of their teenage years. They had bailed on a boring family dinner together once on that old thing, too, back before either of them had legally been allowed to drive it. The noise had been so deafening that all of Mean’s parents’ guests had heard them leave.He still remembered the scolding he had received after that. And being grounded for two weeks. The story was only fun in hindsight.“As nice as it was chatting with you, err... whatever your name is. My driver has just arrived,” Mean nodded at the boy who was adjusting his thick, unruly hair after taking off his helmet. “Good night to you.”He quickly ran over to greet Tio, and to tell him in a hushed voice to ignore the guy next to the car and not to mention or acknowledge the sleeping boy on the backseat until they were away from the parking lot. He also implored him not to call him by his name for the rest of the night, he would explain later.Like a true child raised in the service of his family, Tio nodded and took the keys from Mean’s hand without changing his expression.They passed a confused Win and silently got into the two front seats of the car.“Where to?” Tio asked.“Just away from here.”If only he knew where Plan lived. He deserved to sleep more comfortably than this.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Disoriented, Plan blinked and slightly lifted his head.He had been torn abruptly out of a weird dream about a handsome stranger who had threatened to kidnap him.Why was he in a moving car?Had it not been a dream?He was too confused to scream.The next moment he remembered that he had fallen asleep in the stranger’s car after leaving the bar and he was glad he had kept silent. It would have been awkward if he had screamed out of nowhere.He also remembered why he hadn’t hesitated to follow the stranger to his car:After Plan had returned to the bar from his break and his talk with the mysterious stranger, he had decided not to try and find out who his temporary friend was exactly. He wanted to treat him like a one-time friend he had been allowed to open up to when he had needed to, never to see him again.Plan didn’t even care what the other’s intentions were. He didn’t think the stranger was out to harm him. He would have had many opportunities when they had been alone in the staff room. And people usually tended to underestimate his strength, he wasn’t defenceless.Farming and gardening were very physical activities, he was fitter than people usually gave him credit for – and thanks to Win and the badminton team, he had developed a lot of understanding of how to use momentum and movement energy efficiently in sports… which would hopefully be the same in a fight.Despite what the stranger had said about his scholarship, Plan was still convinced that he would find himself back on the train to Chiang Mai soon enough.What was the harm in doing something foolish before he left?Because… now that he was in the back of the most ridiculously expensive car he had ever been in, looking at the silhouette of his nameless friend, he had to admit that this guy was almost otherworldly beautiful.He looked like a celebrity – Plan reckoned that if he had followed celebrity news religiously like the middle-aged aunties in the village who were always in front of the tv, he would probably already know who his anonymous friend was.He was certainly obscenely rich, that he could afford such a car. Not to mention that he had been allowed into the VIP area at Gravity.Plan had seen the strict bouncers let him through without blinking after their talk, though he had been too busy to look up at the gallery to see where the stranger had gone to.Now he caught himself speculating about the stuff he hadn’t wanted to speculate about…Mr Stranger could be a model at the very least, but maybe an actor, too, or a musician. Now Plan remembered that he had mentioned photoshoots and being at the studio when he had talked him into being friends earlier.So, a model for sure.That might have been the reason he had thought Plan was running away from him instead of Win back then. He was probably used to being at the centre of attention.Plan reckoned he could allow himself to make some unforgettable memories before he left.Maybe it would even give grandma something to brag about to the aunties once he returned to the village. A funny story about the night her country bumpkin of a grandson had been friends with a real celebrity. Someone so out of his league he might as well be a star in another galaxy.Plan liked the idea of sitting behind his grandparents’ hut again in the future, looking up at the bright twinkling stars in the sky and thinking of Win’s sweet kisses, and the shining light of this secret celebrity friend he had met one night in Bangkok.To stop himself from speculating more, and maybe even risking to remember why something about his friend felt familiar, Plan sat up.“Oh, you’re awake!”He liked the wide smile on the stranger’s face.Now that he was sitting up, Plan realised that the stranger wasn’t driving the car – it was stupid, he had always been facing the passenger seat, and he finally remembered the conversation in the parking lot, just before he passed out from exhaustion.His friend had wanted to call a driver. And evidently, he had found one.The boy driving was about the same age as the two of them, maybe he was Mr Stranger’s friend – though his clothes looked normal, and contrary to the crisp haircut of the owner of the car, the driver had thick, black, slightly wavy hair that stuck out in all directions.He looked funny, even with his calm and concentrated face as he navigated the heavy traffic of the inner city.“I’m sorry we couldn’t drive you home while you slept,” the owner of the car apologised, “we don’t know where you live. Do you want us to bring you home now?”Plan fervently shook his head.No, he didn’t want the stranger to find out where he lived. He had always planned to either have him drop him off at UdG or stay out with him until the morning and take the bus back from wherever they were.“How long was I out?” he asked, and just to make his point, he added, “I feel rested. Where are we going?”“Maybe half an hour?” The smile was still plastered on the stranger’s face. “Where do you want to go?”Plan shrugged.“You’re the local.”“Do you want to go dancing? Or maybe drinking? Or something else?”Why did he get the feeling that his friend was nervous and anxious to please him? He was just a poor peasant who had somehow landed in the carriage of a prince, there was no need to be so attentive.“Is there somewhere where you can see the stars?”On his way back from work in the two previous nights, Plan had noticed that you could barely see any stars at all in the big city, due to light pollution and smog. He was already used to not seeing the Milky Way from living in the director’s garden in Chiang Mai, but here, the absence of any significant celestial constellations in the sky was even sadder.“The planetarium maybe... but it’s closed at night.”“What, can’t you just make a phone call and they open it for you?”Plan had meant it as a joke, but the boys in the front seats evidently didn’t take it that way.The driver stopped the car on the curb at the first opportunity and the owner got out, phone already at his ear.For a moment, Plan wondered why he couldn’t make the call in the car while they were driving, but then he remembered that the guy was likely a celebrity who didn’t want him to know his identity – and he naturally would have to mention that on the phone.Since he was now alone with the driver, Plan found it only polite to start a conversation with him.“Hi, by the way, I’m Plan. I’m a guest in Bangkok for a while. And you?”“Tio, nice to meet you. My family works for Young Master’s household.”They greeted each other awkwardly, but soon got into a pleasant conversation when Plan found out that Tio was studying agriculture. He seemed very interested in Plan’s experience in rice farming, and Plan was happy to answer all the questions he had about it.However, the conversation also reminded Plan acutely why he didn’t really belong at the fancy university he was enrolled in, or with handsome young masters like the one still hanging on his phone outside.He felt no urge at all to keep Tio at a distance, they were on equal terms and could bond over farming and gardening, in the same way he had gotten along with Birk’s and Ellie’s friend, the one who had organised his room at the pool house for him.They were still in animated discussions about plants and soil quality when the young master returned to the car.Plan regretted to see the smile disappear from his face as he interrupted their animated talk.“What’s going on? It looks like you couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”“I’m sorry, young master,” Plan was grateful to Tio that he immediately answered. It hadn’t been their intention to leave the other out, they were just making conversation. “I didn’t know your guest was a farmer and I couldn’t resist talking shop with him while we waited. It’s such a rare opportunity to be able to talk to someone with first-hand experience on terrace farming. Do you want me to drive somewhere specific?”“The planetarium.”The cold, disappointed tone in his voice hurt Plan and he felt the urge to make it right.“Wow! Do they have scientific presentations there, too? I’ve been hoping to see telescope pictures from Hubble and ESO in high definition. This is so exciting!”His friends’ face lit up again upon hearing his words.Plan found it very endearing.“The girl working night maintenance at the planetarium on weekends is in my Applied Mechanics class. She owes me a favour. If they have these pictures, I’m sure she’ll be happy to show them.”Why did it sting slightly when the stranger mentioned a girl? This wasn’t even a date, it was just two random people pretending to be friends for a night... still, the mental image that it conjured up, thinking of a girl owing something to his friend... wasn’t pretty.Had he really been so naive to assume that a guy inviting him like that after knowing he had had a boyfriend before was... what exactly? Attracted to him?He didn’t even know if he wanted the stranger to be attracted to him. It was probably just his ego being hurt by the realisation that such a handsome rich guy would never look at him like that. He had probably just pitied him after hearing his story.Before he could go down too far in that line of thinking and risked getting second thoughts, he quickly shifted his attention to a more agreeable topic:“Why didn’t you tell me you take Applied Mechanics? Here I was thinking you didn’t know or care about physics.”A cute chuckle was the answer.“You’ll find I’m full of surprises, my friend. Though I don’t think I can compete with your scholarship-worthy level of physics.”Did he just take a stab at him?
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Plan was lying on his back on the floor of the corridor between rows of seats and looked up at the artificial night sky above him.While the experience didn’t compare to sitting outside in a warm night, listening to the sounds of nature and looking up at the sky, it was good in a different way. The planetarium could stop and advance time, zoom in and out, and even show 3D images of planets and galaxies that made Plan feel like he was flying through the universe, searching for answers.He had never been to anything like a planetarium before, and he was very happy he had accepted the stranger’s invitation for tonight.His worries about the girl had proven to be unnecessary, too. She had only quickly shown her classmate how to operate the system, then she had returned to her work next door – she had even taken Tio with her.Originally, Tio had insisted that he would wait in the car – but Plan had had pity with him. He knew how it felt like to be the one having to wait in the car for the more important people, or something similar at least. He didn’t even want to count how many afternoons he had spent working in the garden under the heat of the sun, while he could hear the director’s kids and their friends scream and splash happily as they were playing at the pool together.“Is there an auto play program?”“Sure. But do you really want to watch that? It’s probably painfully trivial to you.”Plan sighed.He didn’t care how trivial the program was.“You have been operating the machine this whole time,” he was actually impressed how fast his mysterious friend had picked up on how to operate it. “Come here and watch it with me.”*~*~*If someone had told Mean at the beginning of this evening that sometime after midnight, he would be lying on the floor in the empty planetarium with another boy watching artificial stars, he would have laughed and called them crazy.Yet here he was.He still felt warm and fuzzy inside when he thought about Plan’s voice calling him to join him on the floor and watch the program together.It had been unexpected and sweet for Plan to make a move, all on his own. And like earlier in the evening, it had only happened once Mean had kept his distance.Seeing Plan hit it off with Tio effortlessly had hurt, even though their common interest in farming was a logical explanation.But there had been something more to it, he could feel it. Something that had made Plan feel pressured to keep his guard up around him, that hadn’t been present with Tio.The optimistic part of Mean hoped it was because Plan was more interested in him – the same way he himself often had his tongue tied when he was interacting with someone he found attractive.The pessimistic part feared that Plan just liked Tio better. Maybe he should have suggested the two of them to become friends instead, if they had so much in common.These dark thoughts couldn’t explain away the fact that it was him, not Tio, who was currently lying here next to Plan.Mean was caught between watching the program exploring the origins of the universe and watching Plan’s captivated face in the dark twilight around them. His silver hair and the white uniform shirt seemed to glow in the artificial starlight, his facial features appeared so soft that Mean needed to force himself to keep his hands to himself and not caress the smooth cheeks of the boy next to him.He felt the urge to reach out and touch him just to make sure he was still real, and not a holographic projection by the planetarium itself, or a figment of his own imagination.It was like this, enthralled by the soft image in front of him that he got caught by Plan looking his way.He could feel, more than see Plan’s hand wander towards his and gently squeezing it, while he leaned his head closer to his shoulder. However, Plan’s gaze then returned to the artificial stars above them.“Thank you for taking me here,” Plan whispered into the quiet room, “it’s beautiful.”“You’re welcome, friend.”He wanted to lean over and kiss him. He wanted to stop time and stay here together in a bubble flying through the endless space of the universe.But the more he got caught up in the moment, the more the weight of the lies that had gotten them here lay heavy on his conscience. And they prevented him from acting on his impulses.If only the illusions he had created were true, if only they really were merely strangers whose paths had randomly crossed... Mean wouldn’t have hesitated. He would have to invest in Plan’s delusions that he would return to his village soon... then maybe he could allow himself... but no.He slowly turned his head towards Plan again and noticed that he had his eyes closed. Moving a bit closer, he could perceive the regular rhythm of his breathing, his chest moving up and down slightly with every breath, soft sounds coming from his nose as he inhaled and exhaled regularly.Plan’s tiredness probably saved Mean from doing something truly stupid.He looked so angelic when he slept, so tender and trusting.Mean couldn’t entirely resist anymore. He brushed the fringe hair away from Plan’s forehead, causing him to murmur softly in his sleep as if he was dreaming about something good.Now that his forehead was exposed, it was only natural for Mean to lean over and place a kiss on it. The skin felt warm against his lips, it tasted slightly salty, probably from the sweat of working earlier.He placed another kiss on his cheek, feeling increasingly guilty that he was doing this to a sleeping person.The guilt made him stop and withdraw before he got pulled in to the full lips that were so tantalisingly close right now.Instead, he leaned his head against Plan’s shoulders and closed his eyes, too.It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, cuddled against him.*~*~*“Does it feel too quiet to you, too?”Tio tilted his head in the direction of the girl who was currently laying halfway underneath a structure of cables, sockets and nodes.She had only told him that her name was Dea, before she had returned to her work. And she wasn’t reacting to his comment, even after he repeated it. She was either singularly focussed on her work, or really intent on showing him the cold shoulder.So be it, then.Tio hadn’t minded relaxing in one of the comfortable chairs in the office space at first, while Dea had done her maintenance work around the room, but as time had passed, he had gotten increasingly worried.Young Master Mean was behaving strangely.It wasn’t an unusual thing for Mean to come up with a crazy weekend idea on the spot and enlisting the help of Tio through his mother.One time, Mean had spontaneously decided to join the opening band of a concert he had attended with his friends.Originally, he had only promised to replace the lead guitarist who had sprained his wrist on the way there, but by the end of the set, Mean had set his mind on helping the drummer propose to his girlfriend in a big romantic gesture at the end of the main event, and Tio had run errands all night to make it happen.It had been successful, too. Those two were still married and had named their first son after Mean.But Mean’s spontaneous crazy ideas had always involved a whole group of people up to now, or at least his friends Rose and Viola, and not just one person.The entire situation had Tio on edge.He hadn’t really had a choice growing up, his mum had constantly pushed him into becoming Young Master Mean’s right-hand man, something between an assistant and a bodyguard – and he was just that, probably unbeknown to the boy himself most of the time.Tio was the one who made sure there was a net there to catch his fall when Mean haplessly jumped off a cliff, and he was there to hand him a pen when he needed to sign something. He was also there to make sure people who could spill secrets about him... didn’t. More often than not without Mean knowing.That was why he was naturally worried about the fact that Mean appeared to have taken another boy on a date to the planetarium, and there were at least four people who knew about it and could cause problems intentionally or unintentionally. Mean and his date, of course, plus Dea and Tio himself.Maybe there were some kind of security people to worry about, too, if any of them came to make their rounds while they were here.What kind of favour had Dea owed Mean that she had allowed him to come here?Would she keep this secret easily?And what were these naughty boys doing inside?His peace of mind needed to know, but his loyalty and discretion prohibited him from asking questions too directly and raise suspicion. By all accounts, it appeared that Dea wasn’t interested in any of this. But she could still spill the beans accidentally. He definitely needed to keep an eye on her.It hadn’t surprised Tio that Mean had taken a boy on a date, it was the date part that had stood out. He had been in Mean’s shadow all his life, he knew how his Young Master swallowed when the male lead took off his shirt in a drama or a movie, or how he was looking up guys involuntarily when he sat at the fringes of a party after one too many glasses of booze.What had surprised Tio however, was the kind of boy he was with – a guy that was unapologetically brainy as well as brutally down to earth and humble. Both aspects weren’t things Tio would have thought were up Mean’s alley – though it was to Mean’s credit that he had been wrong.This boy had to be special, or Mean wouldn’t have done all this.“I’ll better have a look,” he said to Dea, who was still working silently under the switchboard.“Mhm.”Before they left the planetarium, Tio would need to warn her that if any of this leaked and created a scandal, he would suspect her first and the consequences wouldn’t be pretty.He didn’t like loose ends like that.Regardless of the headache it could cause, maybe Mean finally stepping out of his no-dating bubble wasn’t such a bad thing for Tio in the end.He wasn’t studying agriculture as a hobby. He wanted to get away from his mother’s plan for him, he wanted to choose his own path. Unfortunately, he also really liked and respected Mean as a person and he would never have the heart to leave him alone, vulnerable and unsupported.If Mean found a partner, a boyfriend most likely, Tio could hopefully step down safely.But he needed to know a lot more about the guy, before he decided to throw his support behind anyone.
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When Plan reached the cafeteria during lunchtime on Monday, there was a huge commotion going on around a table in the middle of the eating area.He was briefly tempted to give in to his curiosity and see what was going on, but immediately decided against it.There was no reason to disturb the good mood he had been in since Friday.He quickly shoved his lunchbox back into his bag, went outside, and sat down in the shade against a large tree by the pond, enjoying the cooling breeze blowing in over the water.This morning, he had completed the first written test Prof. Marsden had wanted him to write in her office, meaning he had spent the morning doing what he loved the most – solving physics problems, and without swarms of people following him around.The test had been a lot easier than Plan had expected and Prof. Marsden had already told him that he had passed.She had seemed strangely excited about it.Much more than him.Over and over, she had asked if he had really figured out all of this by himself.It had given him an opportunity to clarify a few misunderstandings at least.He had studied by himself following his own interests a lot. But... from the moment he had first started to attend high school, his Math and Science teachers had kind of capitulated in front of his questions. They had given him a laptop and had allowed him to study whatever he wanted, however he wanted, using resources he found online.He had followed many lectures from universities all over the world through open access lectures and Massive Open Online Courses. He had never signed up for the certificate process or handed in homework, though. He hadn’t seen the point in having these things as a farmer, it was just useless paper lying around or digital files taking up memory space that he could fill with more useful stuff.However, this meant he had no physical proof of his studies, which paradoxically made him look much smarter than he actually was.So... there was really no point in continuing to call him a genius for being curious, hard-working, and dedicated.Prof. Marsden had shaken her head and had told him to come back for the oral exam in the afternoon, where she expected him to solve problems at a white board in front of international experts she had invited.Passing the first written exam was just a perfect continuation of the good luck streak Plan seemed to have caught since the weekend.While he opened his lunch box to eat the rice and vegetables he had prepared, like every day, he let his gaze wander over the idyllic water in front of him and his mind automatically recalled the memories of last Friday night.Plan already knew that the planetarium memory would become part of his growing collection of favourite moments in his life. The stranger had kept all his promises. It had been a surreal experience, lying on the floor in the planetarium together, falling asleep next to each other.Plan would remember the smooth, pale face of his model friend next to him, exchanging soft smiles and holding hands... the memory alone still made his heart jump.The only part he somewhat regretted was that he hadn’t dared to kiss him, even though they had both clearly felt like it. In the end, Plan had been too scared to break the spell of the moment by initiating more.And then... he had fallen asleep.They had been woken up by Tio looking for them, and they had driven Plan back to UdG like he had requested without much fanfare.Again, before parting, he had been tempted to kiss the stranger, but it had ended with just a simple peck on each cheek, before Plan had climbed out of the car and waved his perfect one-time friend off.Saturday and Sunday had both been filled with a lot of sleep, a lot of studying in his small side-room by the pool, and a brief intermezzo of cleaning all the garden tools for the gardener to pay for his room.He hadn’t met anyone, other than the old gardener who didn’t talk much. There hadn’t been any messages disturbing him, either, and in his book, it had all been a perfect weekend.The fact that he most likely wouldn’t meet the stranger again just made the memory more precious and more unique.He was still too caught up in daydreams about his exciting weekend to hear the footsteps of a person approaching him, until they were almost next to him.“Hi Plan, baby! I finally found you!”The sound of Win’s voice dragged him back to reality faster than he could blink.Plan tentatively looked up at his ex-boyfriend. The wide smile he had once loved so much was still there. Win looked even more athletic and grown up than Plan remembered him, and something must have happened to boost his confidence.The Win he remembered dating had had more ambition than confidence. But now, he seemed to have both in strides.Still, Plan felt the same urge to run away from him as on Friday, except that he was now sitting on the floor and effectively cornered. And, there was no mysterious stranger in sight to help him out.His lucky streak was already ending.Undeterred by Plan’s lack of response, Win sat down next to him.Plan shifted away from him a little.It was scary to realise to what extent the tender feelings he had once harboured for Win were gone, without anything bad happening between them.Plan must have simply fallen out of love as suddenly as he had fallen in to begin with.Unfortunately, Win didn’t need to say anything to make it clear that it was different for him.“Ever since I’ve read the story about your scholarship, I’ve been looking for you, Plan,” Win smiled at him, “because of your help with my movements and angles, I have become good enough to join the badminton team at UdG. I even have a chance to qualify for the Olympics.”Still undeterred by Plan’s lack of reaction, he turned his head to look at him, while Plan was staring ahead.“So, we’re both here now. There’s nothing keeping us from being together anymore.”Win wanted to lean over to kiss him, Plan could feel it, and he instinctively turned his head.“Let’s not.”He quietly looked at Win now and nearly budged when he saw the sadness in his eyes.“I’m sorry, Win. It’s just...”“I understand.”Plan wondered what exactly he thought he understood, because he himself didn’t understand too much.All he knew was that what he had had with Win was something that had happened in Chiang Mai.And it should stay there.But other than that, he was mainly confused... about Prof. Marsden’s continued excitement about his work, about the fact that he might have to stay in Bangkok longer than expected... about the missed chance of kissing a handsome stranger who had made him feel like he wasn’t completely wrong here.“You finally accepted the invitation to White Hand, that’s it, right?” Win explained, unasked, “you could have told me. Mean already explained the no dating rule to me. I totally get it. It’s a good opportunity for you, I would be a bad friend if I stood in your way. We can still be friends, right? While you’re up there with the big shots, you won’t forget me?”Win’s words shook Plan out of his nostalgic thoughts, mainly because he had no idea what the hell he was talking about.He must have missed something crucial while his thoughts had wandered.White Hand again... Win was the third person talking about that weird club to him since he had arrived. He still hadn’t bothered finding out what that club was all about, and why everyone wanted him to join so badly.He hadn’t accepted any invitations, that much was certain.Had they really tried to get to him through Win, if Win had spoken to their leader? How did they even know about Win in the first place? They were scary.“I... no?”“You don’t even want to be friends with me anymore, Plan? Wow... you...you’re really heartless sometimes, you know?”Plan hated the tears that were forming in the corner of Win’s eyes. He needed to prevent himself from reaching out and wiping them away like he had done when they were together.Before Win could run off, he held him back.“That’s not what I meant. Maybe we can meet for coffee once you’re feeling better. I meant... I didn’t accept any invitations to any clubs and I’m a bit confused that their leader would speak to you about this before he talked to me.”While it had looked like Win wanted to go through with leaving during the first part of Plan’s answer, he did a double take during the second.“Didn’t he talk to you last Friday? I saw you leaving the club with Mean and I met him in the parking lot afterwards.”Friday.Plan stared at Win, mouth open, eyes widened in the shock of sudden realisation.It felt like something heavy had just hit him over the head. It was shattering all the good feelings he had had about the weekend into a thousand pieces.Mean.Now... now that Win had handed him the connecting piece of the puzzle, Plan could see the truth in everything:Why the stranger had looked so familiar, why he had had the feeling that they had met before... because they had, because he had blocked his way on his first day at UdG... and why Mean had thought Plan was running from him instead of Win... damn.He was so stupid and naïve.Frankly, Plan thought he deserved much worse than the deep, gut wrenching shame he felt for having fallen for such a cheap trick.It was unfair. He had been vulnerable, he had needed a friend so badly that night, that he had been willing to swallow every story Mean had spun for him. He had been aware that the stranger was hiding something from him, he just… he had wanted it to be innocent so badly that he had made it that way in his head.These White Hand people must laugh their heads off at the clueless country bumpkin, who had been misled so easily by their leader. It probably hadn’t even cost him any effort.Plan was suddenly deeply grateful that he hadn’t kissed him at least.If he had done that, he would likely be on his feet right now already, and he would have run to the train station to catch the first train heading north without looking back.“Plan? Everything okay?”Win’s words sounded muffled, as if he was far away, but they tore him out of his shock paralysis at least.“Are you sure you haven’t accepted the invitation? I believe the commotion in the cafeteria had something to do with you. There was a guy claiming he was better than you at physics or something. And he demanded to be made a White Hand instead of you. But Mean said he had already made his decision in favour of you and it was final.”This was too much.Plan didn’t want to hear any of this.He had an oral exam this afternoon, solving physics problems in front of scary experts. He wasn’t at UdG to make friends, or join groups, or becoming the laughing stock for bored rich kids with too much time and money on their hands.“I’m sorry Win. I just remembered that I forgot something in the library. See you another time.”Plan quickly collected his barely touched lunchbox, his bag and the phone that contained all the valuable research papers he had already collected.The library was safe, he could find a corner behind some archive shelves nobody frequented and hide there.As long as Prof. Marsden didn’t send him away, he would stay, for the sake of physics and his research, but outside of mandatory classes he would become like a ghost from now on. He would do his best to escape his unwanted fans and the White Hand rich kids; and Win, too.The thing that disappointed him the most about this shattering realisation, was that he had really believed Mean’s words when he was pretending to be a friendly stranger. He had felt so genuine. Plan had been embarrassingly ready to open up to him. He wanted that beautiful planetarium memory back, without the knowledge that it had been nothing but an illusion.If something looked too good to be true, it probably wasn’t true. He should remember that, next time.He didn’t belong here, with these insincere scheming people. All he needed was to build up enough thick skin to survive a few more weeks, until he had collected enough material to continue his studies on his own... then he could go home.
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The puzzle Viola tried to solve at the moment nearly drove her crazy. She had gotten so invested in it over the last days that Rose had even kicked her out of her bedroom.It was unfair. Viola wasn’t used to being outplayed, but now it felt like she was.Part of the puzzle was figuring out who the player on the other side was, Mean, Plan... both... or someone else.It had started out reasonably easy, as all these puzzles went:Viola had watched Mean leave with his little genius bartender on Friday night, grinning to herself, silently congratulating Mean for finally daring to make a move.Mean had been in an excellent mood all weekend, helping her out at her repair workshop with more dedication than usual – and her friend was even cute enough to mention he was thinking about buying a telescope and getting into astrophysics as a new hobby.He had been adorably transparent about his crush, without ever mentioning it.And then, on Monday, Mean had acted even more boldly.They had all sat at their reserved table in the middle of the cafeteria, when a sickly-looking freshman suddenly decided to join them without asking first.Neither of them had known who the guy was, he looked like the ultimate cliché nerd if there had ever been one: his black hair neatly parted and combed, his crisp uniform shirt tucked into the trousers, he even wore signature frameless glasses for heaven’s sake.So, this nerdy guy had had the guts to sit at their table, and at first, Mean had amused himself by entertaining their guest and asking him why he sat at a reserved table.The boy, who proudly announced his name as Rom, explained that he thought it unfair that Mean had made an invitation to that overrated arrogant rice farmer, who according to Rom barely deserved to be called a physicist.Viola had snickered at this claim, knowing that Mean would likely eat this kid for breakfast, just for daring to insult his secret crush.However, Mean had pretended to give Rom a fair chance and had invited him to prove that he was better than Plan.A crowd had already formed around their table by that point. The self-proclaimed real physics genius had revelled in the attention and had claimed that other than Prof. Marsden, nobody had seen anything special in that farm kid’s resumé and that there had to be something fishy about it.He, Rom, was certainly a much better physicist, alas nobody had acknowledged his true genius, and now he was forced to attend freshmen introductory courses whereas that other kid got to jump ahead.When Mean had pointed out that the other kid had actually passed the first advancement exam already, while Rom had given him nothing but hot air and accusations, Rom had had the audacity to claim that the exam Plan had just passed must have been so dumbed down that any freshman could have passed it. After all, what could a mere farmer from a backwater village really accomplish next to someone like him, who had attended summer school at MIT?This had finally marked the end of Mean’s patience. He had turned that loud kid away determinedly. He had pointed out happily that the exam Plan had passed had been prepared by a group of international scientists currently attending a conference in Bangkok, likely making it more difficult rather than easier.And in any event, Rom was free to prove he was better than Plan any time – however, Mean had told him smugly, no matter how good he thought he was at physics, he would never be considered for White Hand. Being a White Hand asked for more than thinking you were good at your academic discipline. Either way, the spot of physics genius had already been offered to Plan and Mean would not recede his invitation.The Rom kid had withdrawn after that, muttering something about making them regret their decision.From that point on, everyone at UdG was convinced that Plan had officially joined White Hand.And here Viola’s puzzle truly started.Despite the public announcement and the gossip, Plan didn’t seem to have gotten the memo. In fact, he had all but disappeared from under their noses.Even now, more than a week since that incident, the existence of Plan at UdG was more like a rumour than a reality most of the time.He was still there, he sometimes appeared suddenly to attend a mandatory lecture or lab practice, but he didn’t even make eye contact with people and he never spoke to anyone but Prof. Marsden, some of her lucky staff and if he had a good day, one of the other physics professors might get a question, too.Coupled with the fact that he had passed all of his advancement exams and was now following a special study program to optimally support his talent, his abrasive behaviour only increased his status as a true UdG legend. Nobody dared to stand in his way.At first, Viola had also bought into the distracted genius story somewhat; she had thought Plan didn’t care to pay attention to his surroundings, because he was too focussed on his work.But her attempts at trailing and shadowing him, to find out where he was hiding out all day, had taught her that he must be quite perceptive.For days, he had managed to shake her every time, like a frustrating cat and mouse game she was losing.At the same time, Mean had not been acting like himself all week. He seemed heavy-hearted, sad and distracted, like she had never seen him before.If Plan ignored and avoided everyone on campus, he certainly made an extra effort to treat Mean like he was made of thin air.Viola had started to suspect that something had come between her prospective little lover boys and she had tried to get the truth out of Mean.However, Mean was avoiding the subject just as decidedly as Plan was avoiding him. He shut down and got silent at the mere mention of Plan’s name.Then, she had finally succeeded in following Plan home without him noticing.It had needed a little help from his co-worker Grit at Gravity, who had told her his work schedule and had helped her hide from view all evening, in exchange for the phone number of another girl in Viola’s economics class.Viola had been absolutely shocked to discover that Plan was actually spending the night at Mean’s house, and by the way he was greeted by the security guards at the gate, it wasn’t a new development.People seemed to know Plan around the Attachitsataporn mansion.So... was this their way of secretly dating? Ignoring each other in public, pretending to be sad or distracted, while they were actually already sharing a room?But... it didn’t add up.If Mean hadn’t suddenly improved his acting ability by a lot to even fool her, the deeply hurt sadness he was carrying around was genuine.And that was the puzzle Viola couldn’t solve:why had all happiness seemingly left her best friend, why was he shutting even her out so strongly these days, if he was secretly dating?Shouldn’t dating make you happy?*~*~*Mean was sitting in an armchair in their private study room, trying hard to concentrate on the book on the history of jazz improvisation he was reading for his music class. His eyes were nearly falling shut.Despite his efforts to keep them open and continue reading, he was welcoming the sleep that was creeping up on him. He leaned his head against the backrest and let the book sink into his lap.“Not getting much sleep these days?”Viola’s voice sounded as if she was sitting far away, even though she was just a few feet away from him.
Shit.
Was his insomnia really showing that obviously? He had to remember to buy more concealer to hide the dark circles under his eyes better.But Viola would probably notice even then.With a sigh, Mean opened his eyes again.“It’s that obvious, huh?”Mean had been losing sleep over Plan and the way he had messed up his chances with him, before they had gotten to know each other properly.He had gone over the events since their first meeting in his head countless times, trying to find the exact moment where it had all gone wrong. He had found many opportunities, instances where he could have revealed the truth to Plan, in a way he might have been able to understand – instances where he could have shown him how sincere he was.It was too late now.He had blown his chance. Plan didn’t even look at him anymore and he had ignored all of his attempts to talk or just interact with him.Part of his mind was telling Mean to give up on that guy already, to let go, there were other cute guys out there he could date instead, guys who were less harsh and whom he hadn’t disappointed to the core.But his heart didn’t want to have any of that.The more he was treated by Plan like he wasn’t even there, the more it became clear to him that he wanted nobody else.Another sigh escaped him.He finally lifted his eyes to reluctantly meet Viola’s gaze, and was surprised to see her smile suggestively. As if it was a good thing to lose sleep over heartbreak.“Don’t worry, you’ve been very discreet – but you can’t hide anything from me, you should know that.”Why the hell was she so happy about having figured out he was heartbroken?“Viola… it’s not like you to gloat like that. Why are you happy that I’m suffering from insomnia?”“Ahhh, insomnia, is that what it’s called these days?”Mean got the feeling that Viola was misunderstanding something. She wasn’t usually this tone-deaf. He was close to acknowledging that he had a serious problem, and she was treating it like he was doing something naughty at night instead of sleeping.“Why are you so happy that I’m losing sleep over something? It’s not funny…”His friend’s callous attitude started to seriously rub him the wrong way. He might need sympathy, not teasing – why couldn’t Viola see that? She was usually so good at picking up his cues.A flicker of confusion passed Viola’s face, before she caught herself and leaned forward to put her hands on Mean’s knees.“Relax, Meanie, I won’t tell anyone about your secret dating life. I’m happy for you.”She now positively beamed at him, leaving him more disoriented than angry. He wished he had a secret dating life right know, instead of a shattered and broken heart.“You know I don’t have a secret dating life, Viola, what are you on about.”“Mean… I’m gonna be offended, soon. Don’t you trust me? I’m on your side, you can tell me. I might even help you – I’ve been hoping you’d get together with him since the beginning.”Mean was speechless. Where the hell had Viola gone so wrong? It wasn’t like her at all.“I’ve seen him entering your house at night. I’m sure you don’t want me to take a picture, right? He’s been really careful, he’s given me quite a chase, but I’ve figured it out. So… talk.”
No, you talk…
Who had she seen enter his house? He would like to know that himself.At least, his genuine bafflement finally seemed to raise some doubt in Viola.It comforted him to know that she wasn’t completely suspicious of him. Sure, if he ever got as far as dating someone – he had kind of given up again already – he might not want to tell anyone. But if he told just one person, it would probably be Viola.“Do you really want to make me believe that you are not dating Plan, after I’ve seen you leave Gravity together? And followed him to your house two nights in a row? I wouldn’t have thought you moved so fast, but I guess love is-”“Plan? At… my house?”He hated how his entire posture and his face probably betrayed his interest and his heartbreak. These were shocking news, if true. How could Plan come to his house every night and he didn’t know about it?“Are you pulling my leg now, Viola? It’s not funny…”“I’m not joking. I saw him. He seems friendly with your security staff, too. They smiled and opened the gate for him even before he had walked up to the gatehouse. I thought he was sleeping with you already.”Aside the fact that Viola was – unfortunately correctly – assuming that he was gay and interested in Plan… what the hell?Maybe he had finally snapped and his insomnia was creating hallucinations… though why would Viola see Plan and not he? It didn’t make any sense.“If you swear it isn’t you…” Viola mused and Mean automatically held up three fingers to swear, “maybe someone at your household took him in? You have quite extensive servants’ quarters, haven’t you? Maybe someone had pity with him? He seemed poor and nearly starving when I talked to him after freshmen orientation.”That was… possible? But…“I don’t see why auntie would allow him to stay with us if he isn’t working at the house. They’re chronically short of rooms for the regular staff already. And if he was working for my family… shouldn’t I have seen him?”The idea that Plan might walk around his house and work as an errant boy or something just added to his heartbreak. It would mean Plan had still not accepted that he was allowed to use his scholarship money and that he was planning on paying it all back, despite all the additional confirmation he must have gotten recently that he really truly belonged at UdG.Hell, Mean had even been forced to fend off a narcissistic freshman who had been jealous of Plan – and yet the boy himself might be working as a bartender and in an unknown function at Mean’s own house…Worse, Mean feared that Plan might get in trouble with the scholarship administration if they ever found out he had saved the money instead of spending it. He was receiving it for a purpose, after all.Ahhh… now he felt the urge to slap himself for being so stupid to lie to him about not knowing him and squandering any chance at even a future friendship with him.“So… you’re really not dating him?” Viola asked meekly, and with barely concealed disappointment.Mean shook his head.He needed to choke down tears that were threatening to run down his cheeks.“What happened?”“I don’t know exactly. He refuses to even see me.”Despite his suppressed sadness and desperation breaking through now, he was glad at least that Viola was finally understanding the situation correctly, and was pulling him into a comforting hug.“I just wanted to help… I didn’t want to lie to him. It’s my fault.”“Do you want me to kick some sense into him?”Mean pulled away and fervently shook his head.“No, Viola! Keep out of it. It’s my mess.”“I wasn’t being serious,” she said.She had been serious, Mean knew.If he had asked her to intervene, she would have. It could be a nice trait of a friend – but at the moment, it was a liability. Trying to be helpful had been what had landed him in this mess in the first place – he didn’t want anyone else creating even more scorched earth around them.But Viola’s curiosity had had one good side to it, at least – he now only needed to find out what Plan was doing at his house… and what to do about it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Once Mean had started paying attention to the maids at his house, people who normally blended in with the surroundings so much he barely noticed them, it wasn’t hard to find out about the mysterious stowaway that was living on their premises.During dinner, he heard two of them whisper to each other about the good luck one of them had to work the late shift tonight, so she could sneak to the pool house in the morning and watch. Apparently, sneaking to the pool house in the morning and watching something there was a fixture in the schedule of all the young maids – and Mean even heard some of them swoon over the cute boy and the set of apparently nice muscles he was hiding under his ill-fitting clothes. They had to be referring to Plan.He hoped.Mean needed to restrain himself not to go to the pool house right away and hopefully find him there immediately – he needed to remember Viola’s strategies and collect information before he acted.After all, he currently had the advantage that he knew Plan was living here, while he was reasonably certain that Plan didn’t know who the owners of this house were. He would probably try to find another accommodation as soon as he realised Mean was living here, too – so he needed to hold his horses.That night, Mean felt sleepless for entirely different reasons than before. Instead of despair, he suddenly had hope.The next morning, he surprised his parents and his two middle sisters at the breakfast table by stating that he would start going for morning runs outside from now on, instead of hitting the gym. His father had only smiled mildly, evidently thinking he would give up on that resolution soon – but nobody was stopping him. Morning exercises were good for the body and the soul after all, his mother had remarked with a chuckle.As soon as he was out of the sight from the breakfast room, he stopped the pretence of running and quietly sneaked over to the servants’ quarters. He didn’t have to hide in the bushes for long until a group of chattering young maids left the premises and quickly hurried to the pool area.Mean followed them carefully. He felt silly, but he didn’t want to get caught, neither by the maids nor by Plan.When he saw the maids hide behind his mother’s favourite rose bushes, Mean quietly made his way to the trees on the other side and hid behind the thickest trunk. He carefully peeked around it.He had barely arrived in his hiding place, when he could hear hushed giggles from the rose bushes, while the door of the empty – or not so empty anymore – side-room of the pool house opened.Mean needed to fan himself when he saw a sleepy Plan step out of the door, only wearing tight pyjama shorts and nothing else. He had a towel thrown over his right shoulder and held a small bag in his hands, probably containing his toiletry kit.The maids had been right, his body was much more toned than his cute appearance gave him credit for and Mean had to admit that he looked disconcertingly hot.And okay… he had to stare.Plan didn’t seem to be aware of his audience – or he was ignoring it, like he was ignoring everyone at UdG. He disappeared into the changing room of the pool house.When he re-emerged, Mean nearly gasped and he quickly held his hand over his mouth. Plan walked out with only the towel slung around his waist, the pyjama shorts in his hands along with his toiletry bag. He even stretched his arms lazily in the morning sun, before he walked back to the side-room he was living in.So… judging by the maids’ excitement, this… performance had been happening every morning since… whenever Plan had moved here? And nobody had stopped it, yet?Still hiding behind the tree, Mean then saw that the girls were getting out of their hiding place and that they were pretending to just arrive to the scene now.The one Mean thought was probably the oldest walked up to the door and knocked on it, shouting:“Good morning, Plan! Do you want to have breakfast with us?”To Mean’s astonishment, Plan came out of his room smiling, now fully dressed and sat down with the girls around a deck chair by the poolside. The ringleader of the maids unpacked the basket she had brought. The wind soon carried the sound of laughter and chatter over to Mean’s hiding place.He would never have thought that he could get so jealous of maids at his household of all people. Whereas Plan had shut everyone at UdG out completely, he had evidently made friends with the Attachitsataporn house staff.After a while, Plan and the maids were joined by two security guards who just came off their shift, and even the grumpy old gardener turned up at the end, to finish the leftovers.This… explained why Plan could so easily ignore everyone at university. He wasn’t alone and without any friends, as Mean had assumed. He just… what? Preferred to hang out with servants and maids, instead of his fellow students?For a moment, Mean contemplated pretending to be a staff member, too. But he saw that it was a stupid idea. Firstly, Plan knew who he was now, he wouldn’t get fooled again. And more importantly, secondly, pretending to be someone else had been what had alienated Plan from him in the first place.Before the merry breakfast group could detect him, he slowly turned away and went for a short run, to be believably sweaty upon his return.It was funny, here they were, living in the same house, so close together, yet there might as well be galaxies between them.Now all Mean needed to find out was how to cross the barrier again and get Plan to join his side of the fence.Also… he hoped that the fact that Plan had an ex-boyfriend meant that he was gay. He could also be bi… but Mean hoped he wasn’t. He didn’t want to compete with all these young maids.*~*~*Tio wasn’t particularly thrilled to return to visit his parents at the Attachitsataporn mansion. He was just coming back from a field trip to various organic farms in the surrounding countryside.The contrast between these trips and his parents’ home in another household always put the two paths forward in his life in sharp contrast.On the one hand, there were these amazing concept farms of honest people working the lands and creating experiences for visitors and tourists. He dreamt of running something like this himself, someday.On the other hand, there was his attachment to the Attachitsataporn family that he needed to get away from first.He loved his parents, who had raised him well alongside the children of their employers. He didn’t want to disrespect them by running away without paying his due first. They had already given him more than he could expect by allowing him to study agriculture and move to a dorm on his own, even though they hoped he would stay with Young Master Mean in the end.A young master who seemed to have anxiously waited for him at the entrance of the servants’ quarters until now.“Tio! You’re back!”It had been a long time since Mean had been so enthusiastic to see him. Tio wondered what it was all about, that he not only came looking for him, but apparently also wanted to catch him before he met his mother.Tio had a feeling it had something to do with the planetarium date he had been part of almost two weeks ago.Though judging by Mean’s slightly sunken in features, something must have gone wrong.Tio was already prepared to blame himself, if he had failed to protect the secret properly – despite his serious warning to that Dea girl. But it was better to hear Mean out first.“You sound like you missed me.”“Tio, brother, I always miss you.”Brother was it?It had to be serious, then. Mean usually only called him brother when he was either drunk, emotional, or he needed something urgently.“Spit it out.”Tio nodded towards the garden path that lead to the palisade they had often hidden in as kids.Annoyingly, Mean was trying hard to make polite conversation and show some kind of interest in his studies, instead of just getting to the point.When they reached the palisade, he had enough.“You don’t usually have such an interest in agriculture, what is it, really? Did someone spark your interest in farming?”The way Mean flinched told him he had hit bull’s eye – but also that it was a touchier subject than Tio had thought.Mean and Plan had looked so smitten with each other at the back of the car that night when he drove them back to UdG, that Tio had a hard time imagining what might have gone wrong.“Did he do something to you?”Tio had instantly liked the boy when they had met. The idea that he could have hurt his young master was disconcerting. It would mean Tio’s usually keen judgment of character had failed.“No,” Mean sighed, “it’s my fault.”“Tell me.”“Remember how I told you not to use my name?”Tio had rarely heard Mean ramble so rapidly and incoherently as he did now, trying to relate the events since that weekend to him. But after several questions and clarifications, Tio thought he had a picture of the situation. He wanted to slap Mean for being so clumsy, but he figured he was punished enough with how things had gone.Even though he agreed with Mean that Plan was overreacting by completely ignoring him, he also saw that Mean probably had no clue how intimidating White Hand and the entire rich people aura could look from below.Tio had grown up alongside Mean and his siblings, and even he would hesitate to date or even just befriend someone of Mean’s standing. Fairy tales always assumed that poor people were dreaming of falling in love with a prince or a princess, but they usually only did as long as there was no reality to it.Once reality got in the way, the fairy tale became much less appealing. Sure, you might get the love of that person, hopefully, you’d get access to money and power, which had its merits. But you were also stepping into the public eye and the shark pond of inner- and inter-family politics. Not to mention that you were expected to navigate all the well-hidden pitfalls of that strange world. It wasn’t for everyone.“I found out that he lives in the pool house.”“The pool house? Here?”Mean nodded.“That’s why I wanted to ask you...”Ah, so this was what it had been all about.“You want me to find out why?”“I guess... but don’t spook him. I... I’m afraid that if he finds out it’s my house he’ll move out. So, make sure you don’t meet him.”That might be more difficult than Mean imagined. Plan would probably naturally avoid the members of the Attachitsataporn family, so he likely wouldn’t meet Mean if he was acting normally. But Tio moved among the personnel and there, things might be a lot more unpredictable.“Do you think your mum knows?” Mean asked.“She knows everything that goes on around here, Mean. He wouldn’t stay here if she hadn’t allowed it.”Which probably raised the question why. His mum usually wasn’t the kind to give out charity. If she had allowed him to stay here, she must have a reason, and it was probably a good idea to find out what that reason was.“Are you still interested in him?”Tio needed to be blunt, if he wanted to figure out how he could help.Judging by the deep, heartfelt sigh that came from Mean, this was a yes.It was interesting to see the young master actually being infatuated enough to try something. But it also looked like cupid had dealt him a difficult lot.“I think I already blew it.” “That’s not true, Mean,” Tio pointed out, “if you truly thought you had no chance at all, you wouldn’t be talking to me right now. You would focus your energy on getting over him. Part of you must still believe there’s hope. Or that he’s worth it to try again, at least.”“Then what do I do?”Tio smiled.“Give him a chance to come to you.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
One of the maids of the household Plan currently lived at must have a crush on him. Or maybe it was several maids, he didn’t know.He didn’t like it. It was always awkward when he had to turn down girls, like he unfortunately needed to almost every night he worked at Gravity.It was a mystery to him how they could want to flirt with him, he certainly didn’t do anything to encourage them.But here, it was more complicated. He didn’t know who it was and he didn’t know how to discourage them without endangering his room here. He liked it here, he didn’t want to move somewhere else.He had developed a morning routine that involved having breakfast with maids and some other personnel by the pool or under the porch of the pool house, depending on the weather. He had come to like these relaxed moments with the people working here. It reminded him of the village at home, where people often gathered to have breakfast or dinner together before and after work spontaneously.But… a few days ago, someone had started leaving lunch boxes in front of his door before he got up in the morning.The boxes were always very thoughtfully prepared, with nice decorations and much more variety than the rice and vegetables he had usually made for himself. Some of it was so exotic or looked of such exceptional quality that Plan suspected it had been meant for the owners of the house.He hoped that whoever made these for him didn’t get themselves in trouble with their employers on his behalf.Sometimes, the boxes were accompanied by little sticky notes of encouragement, too. Reminding him to eat well, to get enough sleep, or to have a good day at uni or at work. The maid who was writing these seemed to be very well informed of his schedule, whenever he had something special coming up.Now, Plan’s natural reaction would have been to refuse these gifts, since he wouldn’t be able to reciprocate whatever feelings any girls had for him. If he knew who was behind it, he would tell them to stop. But whoever made these was very discreet and Plan had never managed to catch them. His general pleas with the girls in his breakfast rounds had done nothing to discourage them, either.If he could, he would leave the boxes untouched, but as a farmer, Plan knew how much work went into producing food and he couldn’t let it go to waste. So, he had reluctantly taken and eaten all of it. He had to admit that he enjoyed the fancy tastes of these lunchboxes. They often contained food he had never tried before and would never have been able to afford.He had tried leaving a note to the person making the boxes, thanking them and telling them to stop – but all he found the next day was a hastily scribbled answer below it: nice try. But ineffective.Even though the whole situation made him uncomfortable, Plan still found himself collecting the little notes of encouragement from the lunch boxes on the walls of his room.*~*~*“I think I’m gonna invite Win as the fifth member,” Mean announced to a Rose and Viola out of the blue.They had been studying in their private study room in peace until now and there had been no real reason for Mean to make that statement.“The ex-boyfriend?”Rose raised an eyebrow.Despite Mean’s original intention of keeping his personal interest in Plan to himself, once Viola had figured it out, it had become an open secret among the three of them.It had surprised Mean somewhat to what extent both his friends were invested in his sorry attempt at romance.“The one.”“Why?”Before Mean could answer, Viola answered it for him, with the smile of a teacher proud of her student:“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”Over the last few days, the members of White Hand had observed a shift in Plan’s behaviour at UdG. He was still an almost ghostly presence most of the time, but it seemed like he was beginning to accept that he would be staying for a while.He had joined one of Prof. Marsden’s research groups, and he could now be seen sitting and chatting with some of the PhD students and post-graduates in his research group during breaks.But more importantly, he seemed to have rekindled his ties with his ex-boyfriend, even though nothing in their behaviour suggested they were anything more than friends for now. Or Mean would probably be in utter despair already.Still, Mean had not liked that development at all and he had let Viola and Rose know it, even though he hadn’t exactly spelled it out for them.“Doesn’t it cheapen White Hand if we invite someone just because he’s the ex of our leader’s crush?”“If this was the only reason, you’d be right, Rose,” Mean conceded. He got up on his feet to pace the room, to give his words more weight. “Let’s be honest, there have been no other obvious candidates so far, and it has been a while since White Hand had a sportsman among its members. It will be fun attending badminton matches. He’s the most likely candidate to join the Olympics team. I heard he’s trying to get funding for some kind of start-up as well. He’s ambitious and clever. And handsome. He’ll do alright.”While Mean was talking, the grin on Rose’s face grew broader.“Woah, Mean, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you changed your mind about which one of the ex-boyfriends you want to woo. Such high praise!”Mean shook his head.“All I’m saying is, I think he deserves an invitation regardless of other motives. We can’t leave the spot open for much longer, the wannabes start to annoy me.”Rose got up as well and walked over to the window to look over the campus laid out in front of her. Hordes of students were going to and fro the different buildings. Apart from the self-proclaimed physics genius the other day, there had been a British boy called Cameron. He was the son of a rich emigrant who had decided to stay in Bangkok for his studies. He believed that he merited to join White Hand just based on his passport, his dashing looks, and his self-reported success with pleasing the ladies.Rose and Viola had both almost thrown up hearing him brag about that.It had gone on their nerves so much that Rose, despite her delicate flower image, was close to telling him she bet she had given more girls an orgasm in her life than he – and that was true even considering the fact that she had been faithful to only one girl for more than a year.It had taken Viola half a night of her best convincing skills to get Rose to come down from her anger and not seek him out to lay it out for him. They weren’t openly dating. Apart from Viola’s brother Vic, nobody knew they were dating. Not even Mean.Okay, and half the lesbian scene around UdG knew, too, just by virtue of knowing who was currently on and off the dismally small dating market. That was why they didn’t count: if any one of them dared to betray them, she would be identified instantly, and she wouldn’t be able to date anyone afterward. The small scene was leak-proof by virtue of mutually assured destruction.Even without Rose’s spite, the Cameron guy could still be heard grumbling in the corridors about Mean’s supposed arrogance for not accepting his application.“Yeah, the wannabes are annoying. But what’s your plan here, Meanie? What if you end up reconciling them with each other? Can you live with being friends with Win? Do we trust that guy? Once he’s in, he’s in.”“I trust Plan’s judgment. If he could date him and still remain friends afterwards, he must have been worth it.”“Ugh, Mean, do you even hear yourself?”Rose mimicked the gesture of puking.*~*~*Plan was slowly getting adjusted to life at UdG. After he had passed all of Prof. Marsden’s tests, she had had a serious conversation with him, explaining to him that modern physics research was a team effort, not the result of the genius of a few individuals.If he was serious about physics, he needed to learn how to collaborate in projects with others and she wanted him to join one of her research groups for a paper, to get accustomed to their work practices.At first, he had been reluctant to join, since the idea, that physics might be a profession he could actually go for, was still alien to him. But then, he had taken the leap and it had turned out much better than he had expected.Working with his seniors in Prof. Marsden’s team was always fun and challenging. They were discussing physics questions with him in earnest. They were taking him seriously, but they didn’t cut him any slack and told him immediately if he didn’t convince them. None of them treated him like a genius, and he appreciated that a lot. At the same time, nobody had said anything about the unusual way he had gotten there.It felt like his entire understanding of physics was moved and shaken every other day as he delved deeper into the research questions and the data sets they were analysing.This type of physics wasn’t so different from working on a rice paddy, he figured. It was simply people coming together to work towards a common goal.He had even started to sit with his team seniors during breaks. He liked that they weren’t interested in him as a person, they were usually passionately discussing their work even during breaks.Though some of them had commented on the nice lunch boxes Plan always brought and had asked him if he had a girlfriend or someone special who made these for him.Plan had blushed and at first, he hadn’t wanted to tell them.“Actually... do you know a way to detect who puts those in front of my door each morning?”The seniors were disconcertingly enthusiastic about that question. They promised to get their colleagues of applied physics involved.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
For the third time this week, Plan found himself sitting at the fancy campus café in front of iced coffee – and his ex-boyfriend Win. He should have remembered how persistent Win had always been if he wanted something.Plan had managed to give a slip to most of the people at UdG he didn’t want to interact with; even the White Hand girl who had been trying to tail him had given up after a week.But Win had found ways to step into his way and pester him about that coffee he had promised, until Plan had finally relented.Plan had set the boundaries very clearly, though. He wouldn’t meet up with Win anymore, if he had the impression that Win was trying to woo him again or push them beyond friendship.Surprisingly, Win had respected this arrangement, and meeting for coffee in the afternoon was rapidly becoming a fixture in their busy schedules. It wasn’t that bad, Plan figured, having someone to commiserate about how hard it was to get adjusted to life in Bangkok.They were talking animatedly about exotic food options, sipping on their iced coffee, when someone suddenly stepped at their table behind Plan.His facial expression froze when he turned his head, only to look up directly into the smiling face of Mean.Their eyes met for a second, and an electric jolt ran through all the nerves in Plan’s body, before he could avert his gaze.
Damn.
What was he doing here? Plan had done such a good job at avoiding him so far.But things were more complicated than they looked now. Upon finding out who the mysterious stranger at the planetarium had been, Plan had felt ashamed and angry at first.However, the White Hand leader hadn’t behaved like Plan had expected at all. He hadn’t come to gloat or take advantage of the fact that he had tricked Plan so blatantly. Mean had tried to get his attention a few times in the beginning, but he hadn’t done anything to corner or intimidate him and up until now, he had left Plan in peace.This behaviour had helped Plan a lot with getting the good feelings back about that magical Friday night they had spent together as friends. With a bit of distance, Mean seemed to have kept his promises to him after all. They were still strangers, who had been friends for one night only.The problem was that he now once again regretted that they hadn’t kissed. He would have very much liked to know how it would have felt like. Mean’s smiling lips looked so kissable, even when Plan only saw him on one of the many billboards and posters of ad campaigns featuring him.And maybe… Plan might want to be friends like that with him again. He even caught himself wondering whether he should have considered the offer to join that stupid elite club Mean was leading; not because of what White Hand clearly represented around here, but for the opportunity to get to know that stranger better.Once Plan had given up trying to get away from UdG, he had finally understood the significance of Mean’s offer – but this was actually something that was holding him back from joining. He was sure there were other people more deserving, and it would be wrong to occupy a spot at such an important club just because he might want to get to know Mean better.For that goal – getting to know Mean better – he would have to get in line, anyway. At times it felt like every girl and half the guys on campus had some form of crush on Mean, his winning smile, his boyish charm... they either wanted to be him or be with him.And now Mean was suddenly in front of him.Plan was confused, and a little ashamed of his past behaviour. What could Mean even w-“You’re Win, aren’t you?”While Mean smiled at Win, Plan saw Win’s mouth fall open in sync with his own.“Err... yeah, that’s me. What brings you here? Have you been looking for Plan?”Why would Win even assume that? Since Plan had ignored the invitation to White Hand, his brief involvement with Mean had been over – and sure enough, Mean barely acknowledged Plan’s presence.The coldness hurt, though Plan knew it was his own fault, he had insisted they didn’t know each other.Then, Mean shook his head.“I wanted to talk to you, Win.”All eyes of the people in the café were now on them, at least two girls were already filming the encounter, acutely triggering Plan’s natural instinct to flee. This wasn’t about him, anyway, there was no need to stay in the picture. He deserved no less.“You can sit here, I was just leaving,” he muttered hastily and grabbed his half-empty plastic cup of iced coffee on the way out.He didn’t give either Win or Mean a chance to say something or hold him back.Part of him regretted that he was out of earshot now. He wanted to know what they were talking about. Was Mean interested in dating Win?Plan wouldn’t be surprised.They would certainly look good together. Mean was a celebrity, that much had been true about Plan’s assumptions about the mysterious stranger that night. He was a model, he was a musician, and his family was insanely rich. Plus, he absolutely looked the part.Win was also handsome, confident, even cocky now at times, a promising athlete and he had recently started to create buzz around the sports performance optimising business he was pitching to venture capitalists. Hell, Win had succeeded in selling his idea even to Plan, who didn’t have any money or interest in business.If Mean and Win ended up dating, they would form a real power couple. Like the ones in the tv dramas Plan had started to watch on his phone sometimes in the lonely evenings after classes. They could have their own hashtag on social media and everything.He could easily picture them attending events together, smiling into cameras, talking about their exploits in music, engineering, sports, or business.Plan didn’t know why the thought of Mean and Win together bothered him so much. It wasn’t like he still had feelings for Win, he had even gone to the temple to pray for Win to find someone else to love instead of him... but did it have to be Mean?The idea that Win might be getting unforgettable dates at otherworldly locations like the planetarium made him jealous of his ex.He had never been arrogant enough to believe that someone like Mean could ever have any serious interest in someone like him. But what did he do to deserve to see his ex-boyfriend getting him instead?If only he had stolen that kiss, at least.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Mean! Mean! You have to see this!”While Mean had been waiting for Win to show up at their private study room a day after their short talk at the café, Viola had come storming in unexpectedly. She was so enthusiastic that Mean was a bit scared – even more so when he realised that she was waving around her unlocked phone.“Look!”She held the phone under his nose.He actually needed to push down her hand a bit to see what it was open on. And her enthusiasm became even less comprehensible once Mean saw the title of the blogpost:
Is Mean fit to be White Hand leader?
“Viola!”His angry shout finally got her to calm down a bit.“Why are you so happy that there is an article questioning my leadership? You could have been the leader if you wanted to… now is a little late to question my authority.”He hated to admit it, but this title alone made him anxious. He knew he wasn’t a good leader and it wasn’t his fault. His family didn’t want him to be one.But somehow, seeing a headline bluntly confirming what he had already known only made it hurt more. Like he had embarrassed himself by even trying.“No, no, Mean, not that…”“Why don’t you do it instead of me, then?”“I said that wasn’t the point… just read it!”Viola shook the phone impatiently.“You said no when I offered it to you. We both know you would have been the better choice as a leader.”“We’ve been over this, Mean. I’m better at advising a leader than at being one myself. Forget that title already! Besides… what would it do to my carefully cultivated rebel image if I took over?”“You could be like Robin Hood, a rebel leader?” Mean suggested, rolling his eyes, “steal from the rich, give to the poor.”“Meanie, we are the rich.”“Well, according to this blogpost,” Mean pointed at Viola’s phone in his hands. He had been scrolling through the article while arguing with her and had read the subtitle, “my choice of new recruits isn’t elite enough.”Viola rolled her eyes and pointed at the phone again, with more determination and Mean finally gave in and began to read through it.The news that he had recruited Win into White Hand had made the round rapidly last night, as was expected. The videos showing him at the café had trended on several social media platforms, even though they only showed how he extended his invitation to Win, and how a baffled, but ecstatic Win had happily accepted it.Apparently, this invitation, along with the one he had given to Plan on the first day of the semester, had ruffled quite some feathers of people who had had hopes of getting chosen instead. There were several conveniently anonymous testimonies in that blogpost by people who thought they would have been better and more valid choices than Plan and Win – but they were particularly critical of his invitation to Plan, who after all seemed to have had the good sense of not accepting an invitation that Mean had supposedly failed to see as inappropriate.These anonymous people then announced at the end of the article that they would be forming a five-fingered Black Hand now, as a counterpoint to him and that they would do everything in their power to challenge and replace White Hand.Mean could see why Viola was excited, though he… wasn’t.At all.“Black Hand!” Viola exclaimed, jumping up excitedly, as soon as Mean had handed her phone back. “I’ve always dreamt of being part of a Black Hand generation! It’s so exciting! Playing poker got so boring! Finally some real challenges!”Mean could only shake his head at this. If he had had a choice, he would have happily passed on the fate of being part of a Black Hand generation.“You’re weird.”There had been several iterations of Black Hand before. It wasn’t particularly creative of these people, to create an anti-White Hand group called Black Hand, was it?At least it didn’t look like this year’s group was the kind of grass-roots democratic movement, that he might personally actually have sympathies for – and he imagined Rose and Viola as well. Neither of them was particularly invested in being elitists, after all. Mean and Viola were only here because it was expected of the members of the sponsoring families. Even for someone like Mean, who was explicitly not meant to perform any special role in the family business, joining White Hand had not been a matter of discussion.By the sound of it, this year’s Black Hand wanted to be more elite than them. Which... was some good news among the bad at least.“Maybe I was wrong just now and you weren’t far off with your Robin Hood idea, Mean,” Viola smirked, “we get to have rivals who think they’re better than us. How exciting! I need to find out who they are!”Mean sighed.It was nice that Viola could be so happy about something – but he couldn’t help but being worried.“What if…” he grimaced, “what if… they find out.”He didn’t even dare to speak it out loud. He was terrified that these strangers could figure out he liked boys, and worse... that he had actually kind of gone on a date with Plan… who was also secretly living on his family’s estate and who had brought the lunch boxes Mean had left for him to UdG every day.It didn’t matter that Plan didn’t know he was living on the property of Mean’s family and that it had happened by accident – haters would see what they wanted to see.Also… what if they found out Win was Plan’s ex?Actually, they could harm them just based on this information, without ever finding out that Mean was gay, too.“Mean, honey… there’s more juicy stuff to find out about us than your cute little crush.”With apprehension, Mean watched Viola walk over to Rose who had been quietly working on her design in the corner, wearing noise-cancelling headphones, apparently caught up in her own world.“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Viola announced, before she tipped on Rose’s shoulder to get her attention.Instead of telling Mean anything, she evidently preferred to show him. To his utter mortification, she leaned down towards Rose, softly tilted her chin up, and kissed her.Passionately. With tongue.Mean couldn’t look away.
This…
This wasn’t happening. Those two? This couldn’t be true! What had been going on exactly?His mind was still caught in a loop of surprise and shock, when he heard a knock on the door and a slightly nervous Win slipped into the room – and remained frozen against the closing door for a moment.“I… I’m sorry… I… I’ll come back lat-”“No, stay!” Mean cried out immediately.His shout finally tore the two girls out of their world and away from each other. They looked up, slightly flustered, but not nearly as embarrassed as Mean would feel in their place.“Everyone. Come here. Now.”Mean might not be fit to be a White Hand leader, but he demanded an explanation.And an emergency meeting.It was actually a blessing that Win had arrived just now… at least he wasn’t alone with these… scheming lesbians.The two girls walked over smugly, holding hands and still smiling.Win only moved reluctantly, once he had understood that Mean had included him.Mean almost pitied him a little, it must be a strange introduction to White Hand – the first thing he saw was two girls kissing passionately…Their open kissing also made it almost impossible for Mean to go through with his original plan… he had wanted to tie Win down with the no-dating rule, showing him that the rumours about him and Viola being together were rubbish and that apart from Rose’s engagement to Vic, no member of White Hand was currently in a relationship.But… argh, these girls!What had they been playing at right under his nose?Honestly.They had to think he was an idiot for not seeing it. It didn’t look like a new thing, the two of them looked way too comfortable with each other… and in hindsight… they had been disappearing together a lot, and since Rose was the fiancée of Viola’s brother, she had a reason to be at their house… ah, damn, Viola.Of course, it all made sense now. It was such a Viola kind of scheme.If what Vic had told him that night at Gravity was true, Vic was actually gay… and if Viola was a lesbian… then... Rose being engaged to Vic benefitted all three of them.Rose and Viola could spend as much time together as they wanted under the guise of being prospective sisters-in-law, Vic could go after boys in peace, as long as he was reasonably discreet about it – and their conservative family would never suspect anything.If Vic wanted to settle down with a guy… Viola could simply get engaged to him in turn and their parents would be happy to see how well the brothers-in-law got along.But as clever as it was… Mean couldn’t help thinking Viola was playing an unreasonably high stakes game.If this thing blew up on them… it would create waves.No, a tsunami.Knowing them, Mean reckoned Viola’s parents already wouldn’t have accepted one of their two children being gay… they sure as hell won’t take kindly to both of them.“Explain,” he said coldly to the girls, as soon as everyone was seated on the couch.“We’re dating,” Rose said, grinning broadly. “I thought you’d find out on your own one day. But you’ve been so adoringly blind.”Mean sighed.How blind or not he had been was not the point right now. He wouldn’t be opposed to this just being a nightmare he could wake up from – or a tasteless joke or something. A hidden camera spoof.“Look, Meanie… baby… I’m sorry you had to find out that way,” Viola said – Mean didn’t believe she was sorry. She loved this kind of thing too much. “All I wanted to show you… I’ve got skin in the game, too. At least as much as you. We’ll be fine. I’ll protect us.”There was a moment of silence where everyone was staring at everyone.Then, Win – who might just turn out to be the most courageous of them all – cleared his throat and asked:“Err… what’s happening?”Instead of answering his question, Viola extended a respectful greeting to him.“Hi! Sorry for the distraction earlier. You must be Win. We’ve heard so much about you. I’m Viola,” she nodded sideways at Rose next to her, who also had her hands put together, “this is Rose. Welcome to the Rainbow Hand. Though… just for the record… are you gay or bi? Or pan? No label? We don’t judge.”While Mean was holding his palm against his forehead, shaking his head silently, Win only shifted uneasily for a bit.Then, he answered:“Bi… I guess. But… I’ve never dated a girl, so I don’t know if…. Never mind. I… wasn’t aware I was joining a queer group.”“Is that a deal breaker for you?” Rose asked.Mean lifted his head again to see his reaction.He could imagine a hundred different horror scenarios involving Win leaving the group and spilling the beans, and… this was a mess.These girls, honestly.“Of course not,” Win assured her. “I just… didn’t know.”“Our leader didn’t know, either,” Viola added happily, causing Mean to bury his head in his hands again. “He’s… not really out to anyone, yet. So… keep it to yourself. All of this, actually. You’re one of us now – and White Hand sticks together no matter what. Do you understand? There will be a rival group this year, a Black Hand, that’s what we’ve been talking about before you arrived. It will get messy, but I intend to win. If you even think of betraying us, I have no scruples at all going after you, too.”The sound of Viola’s voice made Mean shiver, and he wasn’t even the one she was warning. He hoped Win understood that you didn’t mess with Viola. Not least because recruiting Win had been his decision and he had had to convince himself to trust Plan’s ex, too. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if it turned out to be a mistake.Meanwhile, Win didn’t have any hesitation reassuring Viola that he would absolutely stay loyal and that he’d do whatever she wanted him to do in their fight against Black Hand.Great… another person way too enthusiastic about this entire shit show. Win and Viola might get along with each other just fine... and make the rest of them anxious as hell.Mean hoped Win was just acting like this because he was excited to be part of their group – and not actually as competitive and strategic as Viola. Though… damn, he was a sportsman, and sportspeople were all competitive… and his name was Win.“I’m relieved that I’m not the only queer here, actually,” Win said, “I thought it might become a problem that you also invited my ex.”Upon him mentioning his ex, Mean made urgent eye contact with both Viola and Rose to signal to them not to reveal his interest in Plan to Win. He was almost pleading, as openly as he could without getting Win suspicious. This was all too much. He wasn’t ready to compete with Win, who had already announced to him that he thought it was his fate to be with Plan.All this talk about fate still bugged him, he couldn’t deal with it right now.“Don’t worry about him,” Mean tried to smile nonchalantly, “we invited you because we heard that you are the most promising talent in the badminton team. And like I told you yesterday, we could help you get funding for your business project. UdG respects people with ambition.”It soon became evident that Win was actually easily distracted if you showed interest in his own projects – and Mean didn’t fail to notice how Viola had caught onto it quickly, too. She was subtly manipulating their conversation in a way that made Win forget about Plan altogether. Mean was grateful to his friend for this, at least.Still… he needed to figure out what he would do about Plan and the unanswered invitation. While they could easily distract Win right now, Mean was sure he hadn’t given up on his ex-boyfriend, yet.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Plan was behind.He had promised to his seniors at the research group that he would work through a new theory recently published in a paper by an Austrian team, and he had fallen asleep over it last night.That was why he had gone back to his routine of reading scientific papers while crossing the campus. He felt walking while reading also helped him think.As he approached the entrance of the main building, he noticed a horde of reporters with tv cameras waiting there. Most of them looked foreign. He saw the logos of big international stations like CNN, BBC and Al Jazeera.He shook his head, wondering what kind of drama around the rich people of UdG had brought these reporters here. And, for a short, blissfully ignorant moment he was glad it had nothing to do with him.Then someone pointed at him and it was as if time slowed down around him.Plan felt frozen to the spot, eyes popped open in shock while the bulk of reporters came running towards him.It felt like a déjà vu. He was back at the village again. Journalists swarming towards him like insects. Just ten times worse. Like midgets had turned into locusts overnight.He wanted to run and hide.But there was no escape.He was trapped.Just before the reporters could reach him, he felt the reassuring touch of someone’s hand on his shoulder.When he turned around his heart skipped a beat. He looked directly into the smiling eyes of Mean and from his current perspective, he looked like a guardian angel, suave and confident, and protective.The locust-like swarm of reporters seemed to stop and make way for Mean. A little behind them on either side of the White Hand leader, Plan now saw the rest of the group get in formation around him.The tomboyish girl he had talked to once, whose name started with V, was shielding them on the right like a bodyguard. Win did the same on the left – Plan didn’t have time to be surprised he was here, he had probably joined them after he had talked to Mean at the Café last week.Finally, the girl who looked like a porcelain doll put her hand on Plans other shoulder and helped him advance together with Mean.All that was missing from the picture to make it feel completely surreal were sunglasses. Neither of the members of White Hand wore any and for some weird reason this bothered Plan at the moment.Any random thought was better than trying to face the fact that these foreign tv stations were here for him.“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he heard Mean address the crowd like the media pro he was, “welcome to our campus, and to our beautiful country for those of you who came from far away. We’re White Hand, representing the best and brightest of UdG. Please stand by while the media office organises your interview requests. We’ll be happy to assist you later.”Cameras were rolling, flashlights were getting off around them, and Plan felt the only reason he was able to withstand the sudden attacks were the reassuring hands on his shoulders – Mean’s in particular – and the radiant beauty of the two people next to him. He imagined they were eclipsing him so thoroughly that they were like the sun, and he was only a little insignificant planet orbiting it.With the help of the four members of White Hand, Plan managed to get inside the building quickly and unscathed. He didn’t protest when Mean and the doll-like girl softly steered him towards the ornamented wooden door on the top floor of the building, that opened to the private study room of White Hand.Before they entered, Mean sent Win away to the university administration building to inform the public relations department about Plan’s whereabouts and the girl he called Viola to alert Prof. Marsden.Plan exhaled a few times in relief when the door finally closed behind them. To his dismay, he noticed that his entire body was shaking, now that the worst shock and tension were leaving him.He gladly leaned into the hug the girl offered, regretting that it wasn’t Mean who hugged him instead.She gently guided him towards a fancy-looking leather couch and helped him sit down.Plan buried his face in his hands, the arm of the nice girl still on his shoulders, while he could feel Mean’s movements like a heat map, pacing up and down in front of the couch, before he finally decided to sit down on the other side of Plan.As soon as his arm had found its way over his shoulder, too, crossing the girl’s, Plan tilted his head to lean towards Mean for comfort.Plan had hoped to get a chance to get closer to him again ever since his shame and anger about the lie around their first meeting had dissipated.“Thank you,” he muttered, vaguely meaning everyone who had just saved him. “Do you know what’s going on? What do they want from me?”“Someone put English subtitles under the news video about your scholarship,” Mean explained calmly. It was strangely comforting to finally hear his voice again, Plan realised he had missed hearing it. “It went viral after an American comedy tv show used a clip from it to point out that real geniuses could be found anywhere, and that the next Stephen Hawking might just be a rice farmer from Thailand. Now... everyone wants to talk to you.”Stephen Hawking... at least it wasn’t Einstein anymore.Everything else made Plan groan in frustration.Why? What kind of cause in his past life had cursed him with this karma?Maybe he was a decent enough physicist, but the interactions with his seniors in the research group had only confirmed to him that there was nothing special about his ability, other than maybe the fact that he had needed more self-motivation to learn about physics than people who grew up in a more privileged environment, and who were supported and taught properly.But how could he ever live up to the allure of that damn story? These foreign reporters weren’t really interested in him and his tentative steps into real research, they just wanted to profit off the curiosity, like he was some kind of freak of nature in an old-fashioned travelling circus.Real progress in physics was made by research groups and collaborations. If they wanted a real story about real physics they could talk to Prof. Marsden and her team.“What should I do now?”The idea was daunting; that he would have to talk to these foreign reporters, in his mostly self-taught academic English. Couldn’t he try to escape? Maybe there was a north-bound train leaving soon enough to lose their trail...It was a useless hope, of course. These reporters would find his village like their Thai colleagues had found it before them.Here at least, he seemed to have the protection of Mean and his group... which begged the question:“Why are you helping me?”At first, it looked like neither of the two would answer, then the girl sighed and said:“White Hand sticks together. We always look out for our own.”“But I never accepted your invitation?”He felt a bit silly now, that he had rejected it. The idea of belonging to a fancy elite club still didn’t appeal to him, but he could see why he needed them right now. And, he wasn’t an ungrateful person, he wouldn’t reject them for their genuine attempts to help him.“We kept a spot open for you,” Mean assured him. “Do you accept it, now?”Plan nodded meekly.He feared he might regret it later, but as long as these foreign tv stations were treating him like a rare animal at a zoo... well... what else could he do?The door sprang open and Viola came rushing in.“Prof. Marsden will be here in about half an hour, when her class ends. But... you have to see this!”She pointed towards the window and waved at the three of them to join her and look.From the window, you could overlook the main entrance where the cameras were still stationed. At first, Plan didn’t see what Viola had wanted to point out to them, but he soon realised that the cameras were rolling and filming a lank, nerdy-looking bespectacled boy who was talking proudly to the reporters.“That guy!” Viola shouted angrily. “He is still salty that we invited Plan over him. I’m positive he’s one of these Black Hand idiots. As far as I know he hasn’t done anything remarkable in his life, but he thinks he’s a misunderstood victim who doesn’t get a chance because we’re now biased towards the poor. I’m not even kidding you. One farm boy from a remote village gets a sponsored scholarship and this guy thinks he’s being discriminated against.”She rolled her eyes.“I met Win on the way back and sent him to observe. But I bet this Black Hand cry-baby is trying to sell himself as the real genius right now.”While Viola seemed worked up about the fact that this stupid guy was trying to steal Plan’s thunder, Plan didn’t see the problem.“Why don’t you just let him? I don’t want to talk to them, anyway. It’s a win-win situation. He can pretend to be a genius and I can live my life in peace.”He closed his eyes for a second, savouring the sweet dream of a life in peace. He missed the quiet days and nights at home, the crickets chirping while the billions of stars in the milky way sparkled in the sky above him. Not even the planetarium could replicate that feeling.The three others shook their heads when he opened his eyes again.“It matters because Black Hand are our rivals and you are one of us now.”
Great.
Could he leave again? He hadn’t really wanted to join in the first place...“Idiots like this Rom guy down there make our university look bad in front of everyone,” Viola explained, clearly still worked up about it. “They think they’re special, but they have nothing to show for their big heads. You need to go down and defend our honour, Plan. Because you have actually achieved something-”“I didn’t.”She exhaled and turned to glare at him in frustration.Plan flinched and took a step backwards.At the same time, he was thrilled to suddenly feel Mean’s reassuring hands on his shoulders from behind him.“Will you stop with that nonsense?” Viola was practically screaming at him. “Your homework paper convinced Prof. Marsden to organise a special scholarship for you. You passed a series of advancement exams supervised by international experts who are singing your praise on international tv, damn it. And, you joined the most prestigious research group of this entire fucking university two weeks after coming here from a rice paddy? Do I have to go on? Do you even know how ridiculous you are?”She shook her head.“You might have had me when you told me you were just an ordinary person the first time we talked, but you can forget about that, now. We are all ordinary people here, I stand by that, but some of us have to step up and be extra-ordinary when we’re called up. Will you finally accept that or will you try to run from it some more? I guarantee you, this story won’t leave you in peace until you embrace it.”Plan knew she was just angry and speaking her mind. He even saw the inconvenient truth in her words.And yet... it still felt like she had just cursed him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Mean finally made it to his class, he found it difficult to focus on his studies.He had missed music theory and composition this morning, because of White Hand... because of Plan, to be precise. Plan was also the reason he couldn’t focus on his lab practice in applied physics right now.While his lab partners were busy setting up the experiment, merely seeing mathematical formulas on the black board made his thoughts jump to the newest member of White Hand.It might just have been his lucky day.Last night, as soon as Mean had seen the trending video about Plan, he had known that Plan would likely not know what hit him. But White Hand could step in to protect him and if they did it right, they might actually get him to join their group.Mean had been on the phone with Viola for half the night to prepare their intervention and alert the others – and he was still pleased with himself how flawlessly it had all worked out. After that article calling him a bad leader, it had felt particularly good to prove to himself, and the world, that he wasn’t completely useless.Plus, Tio must have been right about Plan.By the looks of it, Plan didn’t stay mad at him forever and giving him space had been exactly the right thing to do. At least, he didn’t seem hostile towards him anymore.On the contrary.If Mean dared to dream… it had felt like Plan hadn’t just been glad to rely on White Hand this morning, but on him, specifically.Was it too much to hope that Plan couldn’t forget their date at the planetarium, either? Even now, it was one of the best memories of Mean’s life.He tried to come up with a better memory on the spot, but he couldn’t; and his mind drifted back under the artificial night sky, and onto the soft shimmer of Plan’s temporarily silver hair in the dark twilight of the projector.“Did you hear about that physics genius?”Mean automatically listened up, when he heard these words behind him. Two of the Applied Physics tutors were talking to each other while they were waiting for the students to finish their assignments.At first, Mean thought it wasn’t surprising that they were discussing Plan – he was, after all, the current campus sensation.However, as they talked, Mean was worried to hear that they didn’t discuss the video at all, instead… they were mentioning Plan’s lunch boxes.Apparently, Plan suspected that one of the maids of Mean’s household was making them and…Shit, it appeared as if he had asked his seniors for help to find out who it was without being obvious?“Let’s meet after this and show these useless theoretical physicists how to set up a proper photo trap.”“It’s so exciting! Like assisting in an old-fashioned romantic comedy. I bet he’ll woo that girl afterwards, pretending not to know it’s her.”Mean doubted that it would go that way. Not least because it wouldn’t be a stranger or a girl... but even if it were a girl. It was cute how they assumed Plan would go after her.Plan wouldn’t?Would he?The conversation behind him was still going strong:“You’re watching romance movies?”“Classics! They’re classics! With Doris Day and Rock Hudson. Pillow Talk even won an Oscar!”If they knew that Rock Hudson had been gay and the first high-profile victim of the AIDS crisis?Now that Mean knew that Viola had known about his sexuality all along, and was a lesbian herself, he suspected that she had casually told him about this a few months ago, in an attempt to make him feel better about being gay – the famous 1960ies romantic lead part of it, not the AIDS part.“... who has you whipped like that? Your mum or your girlfriend?”“Shut up.”Mean didn’t hesitate any longer. He got up, leaving his lab partners baffled – yet nobody dared to stop the White Hand leader from doing whatever he wanted.Besides, Mean reasoned as he walked over to the tutors, his lab partners could still be happy to have joined his group, he normally pulled more than his weight. When he wasn’t distracted or absent, anyway.“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation,” he said, as detached as he could, “developing such a trap looks like a fun project, can I join?”“M-Mean!” the younger of the tutors stuttered, “oh, of course. We’d be honoured.”Being leader of the White Hand sure had its advantages.“Pillow Talk is rubbish though. Pretending to be someone else to get closer to the person you like. Who would do that?”The senior who had mentioned the movie wanted to argue, but the other signalled him to keep quiet. Mean found it funny how nervous they were just talking to him. It was ridiculous how much weight White Hand had at UdG.They told him to meet them in the electronics lab after class and Mean returned to his seat, deep in thought.How did it happen that he had manoeuvred himself in such a dilemma with Plan again?He had learned his lesson about pretending to be someone else last time. And now, just because Plan didn’t have all the information, he might misunderstand him again, if he found out about the lunch boxes before Mean could explain himself.Under no circumstances should Plan discover the truth at the moment. They needed to get to know each other better first. Now that Plan had officially joined White Hand, Mean would have lots of opportunities to interact with him in ordinary situations. But if Plan realised the lunch boxes were from him, he would probably move out of the pool house immediately, and leave White Hand again and... everything.But Mean also couldn’t bring himself to stop giving them to him or… heavens forbid, just tell him the truth.Seeing Plan basically survive on whatever breakfast the maids brought to him in the morning and that small portion of rice and vegetables for lunch he had usually made for himself, Mean was worried about his health.He knew that the stubborn boy could afford to buy proper food, if he finally started to use his scholarship money like it was meant to be used – but that was another discussion for later. Plan would probably earn enough money from the aftermath of the viral clip, not to depend on the scholarship anymore, even if he accepted only a fraction of the invitations he was surely already receiving.Mean couldn’t imagine that Plan would step into the limelight more than necessary, but there might also be invitations to legitimate physics conferences, that Prof. Marsden would hopefully talk him into accepting.For the time being, Mean had decided to buy these boxes for him every evening and sneak out in the early morning hours to deliver them, to make sure Plan ate well.Mean would have made them himself if he knew how – and he would even have tried to learn how to prepare proper Japanese bento lunches, if it was possible. But he couldn’t risk getting caught by the kitchen staff and having to explain himself – buying was the better option.Even though it had only been a bit over a week since he had started doing it, Mean believed that Plan was already looking healthier.Hence… he couldn’t stop.He couldn’t get caught.And, he couldn’t tell him, yet.At least he would know exactly what type of trap he needed to avoid, thanks to his tutors’ gossip. He probably needed to find someone else to deliver them in the future, regardless.Someone trustworthy.If only Tio hadn’t moved out to attend university on his own, Mean could really need his help right now.Though… Tio wouldn’t be able to deliver the lunch boxes, either. Plan had already met him and would know he was connected to Mean.It was probably just a matter of time until he found out he was living on the property of Mean’s family.But not yet.Not today.
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After Mean had only barely prevented his seniors from implementing a successful photo trap for Plan, he had thought he was safe for now.He had even thought he had been particularly clever, programming an exception into the software running the photo trap that would delete pictures with red light on it automatically – so he just needed to carry a bicycle backlight with him and everything would be fine.And yet, he had been wrong to think he was out of trouble.Danger came from an unexpected side.He was sitting at his family’s dinner table. His parents were stupidly proud of the fact that they had family dinner at least once a week with everyone but his oldest sister and his brother, who had already moved out. It used to be all seven of them before that. There was no interview with either of his parents out there, where they didn’t mention the family dinners at least once as a sign that they were a normal, healthy family first, before they were a rich dynasty.During his teenage years, Mean had rebelled against this tradition and the PR bullshit that was attached to it – but he had come around. At the core, family dinner had always been an animated affair where the siblings teased each other, family matters got discussed, and the older ones usually got into heated debates on politics and business.In that sense, his parents weren’t even wrong. The dinners actually worked. It was still no reason to wear them like a badge of honour – but that was another matter.So… today of all days, over family dinner, Mean’s father suddenly turned to him:“I hear that you have filled all the spots on White Hand, Mean. Why don’t you invite all of them to dinner here? We’d be happy to get to know your new friends.”Mean felt frozen on the spot.It... damn.How could he get out of this again?He wished Viola was here, she would know what to say.“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said vaguely.His father frowned, equal parts confused and startled.“Why not? You usually like to invite your friends over. We’ve already warned Auntie to prepare for a start-of-semester party for you. Don’t you plan on throwing one this year? You should invite White Hand here alone beforehand.”Mean cringed.This was true, he liked to throw a party at the start of each semester, and usually, he had looked forward to the opportunity to play his music in front of a willing crowd and start the semester with a celebration. But this year, he hadn’t even started with a concept.If only Plan wouldn’t...
Hmmm.
“Our two new members are not from a wealthy background. I don’t want to overwhelm them.”“Nonsense,” Mean’s mother chimed in, “when they’re White Hand, they’ll have to get to know our circles. And, didn’t you invite that cute boy genius who is living in our pool house to White Hand, too? I was meaning to ask him to have dinner with us, anyway. He’s been all over the news recently. It was nice of you to help him with the foreign tv stations today. You have shown that the Attachitsataporn are humble and friendly, despite our wealth.”Never mind their focus on stupid family PR… just a moment…His parents... they knew about Plan?It... of course it had been stupid of Mean to assume that the owners of the house didn’t know about the stowaway, if Tio already said that Auntie must have let him stay. Auntie wouldn’t keep anything from Mean’s parents.But... how could he avoid getting detected now?Maybe feigning ignorance?“He’s living here?”Mean wanted to apply for an acting award now, please. He thought he was playing the role of surprised son of the house upon discovering that his new friend lived in his pool house very convincingly.“Didn’t you know?” His mother raised her eyebrows at him. “We thought you were being a good friend to him these last few days. Haven’t you been buying lunch boxes for him, to spare him the embarrassment of accepting our help? Who did you think you were giving them to?”They knew about the lunch boxes, too?
Damn.
Mean had thought he had been so sneaky all this time.All they needed now to make him look like a complete fool was figuring out he had a massive crush on Plan on top of everything.Though, the way his mum had said your new friend… could he hope that they didn’t get that right at least… please?“We asked Auntie to prepare a room in the house for him in the beginning,” his mother continued, as if they were buying his explanation that he hadn’t known the boy in the pool house was Plan. “Poor thing is an orphan and all. But in her opinion, boys like him usually prefer the privacy of a humbler place over a room in the mansion, so we let him be and didn’t bother him. He seems like a hard-working, well-behaved young boy. The maids like him. Auntie has already talked about introducing him to Tio. You know that he isn’t just a brilliant physicist, he’s also a farmer, don’t you? Maybe you could learn something from him, too?”Mean had to admit defeat.He couldn’t give any plausible reason why Auntie shouldn’t introduce Tio to Plan – at which point Plan would realise that he knew Tio, and he would know where he had met him… and… argh.But what to do now?Plan couldn’t leave White Hand again, Mean wouldn’t allow it. But that stubborn guy!Maybe Mean could salvage it if he explained to him that he had really, seriously not known where Plan lived until Plan had already started ignoring him.Hmm… recruiting his parents’ help might be a possibility as well. They thought highly of him and wouldn’t want him to leave either. Though Mean suspected that they had reasons of their own for keeping him around. They weren’t known for charity.Did they want to profit off of the fact that the international physics sensation was under the protection of the Attachitsataporn family? Should Mean try to get him to move out just to avert yet another disaster?Maybe… attack was the best defence after all.He got up from the table, since everyone had stopped eating for a while already.“Where are you going, Mean?” his mother asked.“The pool.”“Tell him he’s welcome to have dinner with us any time. We’ll have another place set for him!”Mean would certainly not do that.*~*~*It wasn’t even eight o’clock in the evening, yet, but Plan was so tired that he decided he wanted to try and get some sleep.This day had been more exhausting than any day he had had here so far, including those where he worked the late shift at Gravity and still attended courses at UdG at eight the morning after.These camera teams had freaked him out even after the members of White Hand had protected him, and Mean had been there for him, and Prof. Marsden and the PR people of the university had briefed him.Despite what the Viola girl had said, he wasn’t convinced that it had been worth it to give these interviews instead of just letting the Black Hand guy take the glory, if he wanted it so desperately. Why anyone could want that was beyond his understanding.It was weird that the other guy wanted to have cameras pointed at him – the parts of the interview they had shown to Plan afterwards showed that he was almost comically incompetent. It wasn’t difficult to see how they would frame the stories – about wannabes and “real geniuses”.That stupid idiot just made Plan look even more exceptional – not what he wanted. All he wanted was for things to get quiet again soon. The PR team of the university had told him they’d handle the press and he had made sure they understood he wouldn’t want to give any more interviews or appear in any TV shows.The interviews had gone as one might expect – Plan had tried to stick to the script, but once he began to talk about physics, he could see how he lost the people who were trying to listen to him. He was just not good enough at explaining his work.After the interviews, Prof. Marsden had told him he had done well and she had even invited him to have coffee with her and her team to celebrate. Contrary to what Plan felt, Prof. Marsden seemed to think of this as a victory that would advance the physics department at UdG greatly.She had told Plan that they were now in advanced talks with the people at CERN to give him the opportunity to attend their next big conference as an invited guest – meaning they would pay for the journey and all he had to do was go there and meet people.Usually, Plan would have refused something like this right away, telling her he couldn’t afford to go there – but this was CERN, they had the most powerful particle collider in the world, some of the best applied physicists worked there – and every serious theorist would die for the opportunity to get access to their raw data right as they were measured.Hell… they had even won the Nobel Prize in physics a few years ago for the discovery of the Higgs boson.He had had to look up on his phone where CERN even was – and now he regretted it, because there was no way he could go there.CERN was in Geneva, which was in the top five of the most expensive cities in the entire world. Even if they paid for the journey… maybe if he used some of the scholarship money? But was it really meant for him to use that to pay for food or… whatever he needed to pay for in a fancy place like this?But then… CERN was like a dream. The idea that they might allow him to sit in the control room of one of the seven main experiments there and see the measuring data coming in in real time was… it was tempting.It also was a long way from home.Bangkok was already a long way from home. A top five most expensive city in the world was… out of his depth.He decided not to worry too much about it for now. There had not been an invitation, yet – and he could always dream of going.Happy with that decision, he took his washing bag and went over to the changing room of the pool house, whose shower and bathroom he had been using since he had moved in here.He was just about to change out of his clothes and step into the shower, when he heard the door of the changing room being pushed open. Without thinking, he slipped into the toilet booth and locked the door behind him.Luckily, he had only taken his shirt off and was otherwise still clothed. He shuddered at the thought of getting caught by the owners of the house naked in the shower.Since he had moved here, nobody had ever used the pool to swim in at all – a fact Plan had found notable. How come these people even bothered having a pool, if they didn’t use it? Plan certainly would if it was his. He had envied the other kids at the school director’s house so much for it.He had even debated with himself whether he could dare to jump into the pool here, seeing that nobody was using it anyway – but he didn’t have the courage to ask the maids about it, and he didn’t want to risk getting thrown out over such a small matter.So... now someone was changing out of their clothes just outside the thin door of the bathroom stall. Plan could hear them, but he didn’t dare to look.He should have known that he wouldn’t be able to avoid the owners of the house forever. But how unlucky was he that whoever was preparing for a swim had come down here precisely when he was out or his room?Hiding in the toilet booth wasn’t really an option. It would get awkward if the person outside needed to use it. There was not really any other place to hide inside here, other than the shower which the person definitely would want to use later.His only option was to wait for the person to finish changing and trying to sneak out while they were swimming.But he couldn’t behave too suspiciously or they’d alert security. The guards knew him, of course, but their allegiance would surely remain with their employer in the end.They weren’t stupid, after all.Maybe… Plan should have introduced himself to the owners of the house when he came here, like a proper employee. After all, he was working for the gardener in exchange for the room, though he hadn’t done much gardening, yet.Too late for that now.When he stepped out of the toilet booth and into the small changing room, he immediately noticed that his shirt was gone, or covered by the clothes of the person who had just gone through here. Plan didn’t dare to lift them and have a look, he didn’t want to get accused of stealing on top of everything.He now only wanted to get back to his room as soon as possible.
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Like a deer in headlights, Plan stood immobilised in the doorframe of the changing room.He was caught in a nightmare. Or a dream. His brain didn’t process it properly anymore. It could be either. Just proof his brain wasn’t perfect.The person swimming in the pool was Mean, who was now looking back at him with the same expression of utter surprise Plan himself showed.It… no.
No. No. No.
This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t… this couldn’t be Mean’s pool.He couldn’t… no.Plan refused to believe this. He couldn’t have accidentally moved into Mean’s pool house.This was the nightmare part.He hadn’t even thought about the possibility that he might know the people living in the big mansion. He had naively thought that he didn’t know any rich people – and despite knowing that Mean was rich, he just… the possibility had never crossed Plan’s mind.He was living on the property of fricking Mean’s family of all people.The guy he had gone on a sort of romantic date with, thinking he would never see him again. The leader of White Hand. While Plan was just… he didn’t know what he was these days anymore, people kept telling him he was a genius and he was tired of fighting it.The lesson was just… that he shouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with a stranger, a one-night only friend. Because you never knew if you met again. And damn, he had hoped to have another chance… but was this even possible?This led to the dream part.Mean was in the swimming pool.Only wearing shorts.And when it came to boys, Plan had no problem admitting to himself that he was a bit shallow. He just had a thing for stunning good looks. In the beginning, when he had had his first tender crushes, he had thought he would never be able to date anyone, because the guys he usually fell for were so handsome that he believed they were out of his league.And then there had been Win, who would probably have won any beauty contest at their school handily. He had unexpectedly shown interest in him. Plan had hardly believed it back then, when Win had first started to court him, straightforward and bold, as Win was.His looks had of course not been the main reason for Plan to get into the relationship back then – Win was a really sweet guy, and funny, and he had always made sure to make their dates romantic and memorable, while it had all lasted. Being good-looking hadn’t hurt at all in his opinion.It was like physics and maths. Plan could appreciate beauty when he saw it.So, Plan had a weakness for handsome guys and… well…Mean was handsome.Unbelievably handsome.He had already admired his abs on the ad campaigns he was featured in whenever he saw one on the bus or on a billboard.But now it wasn’t just a picture.Mean was really here in the pool in the flesh. And, Plan could watch him swim towards the edge of the pool just in front of him and jump out of it in one fluid movement, the water splashing down his body.Plan gulped.Mean looked like one of these classical statues coming alive. Or like a scene out of an action movie, where the protagonist showed his physical prowess not just by saving the day through daring stunts, but also through a shot of his well-toned body in a shower scene. Or a pool scene.It wouldn’t be difficult for Plan to feel inadequate next to him.Curse his bad luck that he had lost his shirt inside. Even though Plan didn’t think he looked bad at all… the contrast was just… A reminder that he was out of his league.“What are you doing here?” Mean asked, while he casually ran his fingers through his hair to shake out the water.It also gave Plan an even better view of his torso and he was not okay.He opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came out. He felt like a fish out of water and helplessly pointed towards his door, trying to slip away to safety.He… it…What was he going to do now? About everything? He couldn’t even think straight.“Fine, don’t tell me what you’re doing at my house. That’s not weird at all,” Mean said, and proceeded to walk past him into the changing room.What the-?Plan was suddenly conflicted. His first instinct had been to run away as usual and not give Mean any more reason to ask questions or talk to him. It had been obvious that both of them had been equally surprised to see each other here. Though Mean had caught himself more quickly.Plan couldn’t just leave it at that!He had already decided that he wanted to try and be friends with Mean this morning, after he had helped him so generously with the media locusts. It hurt that he just walked past him now after finding out that he was living here. Plan couldn’t just let him get away.Hadn’t they all said that White Hand would stick together and Plan was one of them now?And… okay, he was shallow. He probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to see Mean like this again soon, only in swimming shorts.It wouldn’t hurt to look a bit more?Just before Mean could close the door behind him, Plan put his foot between the door and the door frame and pushed it open again.“Wait!”Mean stood in the doorframe now, an inscrutable smirk on his face, looking at him – and making him cower a little.“Do you have something to say?”“I…” Plan tried to find his bearing again – which wasn’t easy with Mean’s half-naked body in front of him, oozing the confidence of a model who knew he was good-looking.“I live here.”He pointed into the direction of the spare room.“Ah.”Mean was still eyeing him up.Plan felt the urge to cover himself up, but he didn’t have anything on him. In his hurry to sneak out of the changing room, he had forgotten to take his towel and his toiletry bag with him.He regretted that now.“Why didn’t you tell me you lived at my house?”“I didn’t know it was your house!”Why was Mean still looking at him like that?He took a step back.And another.He was now dangerously close to the edge of the pool.“I’ll move out as soon as I find another room,” he said meekly.Mean shook his head.“Wouldn’t that be a story these Black Hand idiots would die to spread? How the incompetent White Hand leader is so mean that he forced the poor physics genius from his humble room at his family’s pool house? You’re White Hand now. You can’t just be selfish anymore.”He didn’t want him to move out? But… why?“Oo-kay.”Plan tripped slightly, and fell backwards into the pool behind him.The cool water wrapped around him – and it gave his slightly flustered face a bit of respite at least.Before he had properly resurfaced, he saw Mean jump back in after him. His heart beat faster all of a sudden. This was… he was annoyed that his clothes were now soaking wet. On the other hand, swimming in the pool with Mean wasn’t the worst prospect he could have.They both barely had their heads out of the water, when a young woman’s voice interrupted them:“Meanie, baby, I don’t believe you actually wanted to swim!”Baby.Plan felt his heart sink. Did Mean have a secret girlfriend? Of course, he had heard that White Hand weren’t allowed to date openly – so maybe she was his secret? But… the Planetarium?Could they… at least still be friends? Maybe?“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me baby anymore, Joules!”“Awww… but you’ll always stay my only little brother.”
Brother?
Plan was way more relieved than was appropriate. She was his sister?Now that he looked at her again, he thought there was a bit of familiarity there in their features.“Hi, pool house genius!” she smiled in his direction, “I’m Joule, the second youngest of this family…” he could feel her gaze on him for a bit too long… oh please, not again. “Ah, mum was right, you are cute.”She took off her dress to reveal a bathing suit underneath – Plan wondered whether she wanted to be seductive about it. It wouldn’t work on him, if that was her idea… girls had never really interested him that way. Unfortunately, girls tended to not get that about him.When she jumped into the pool with them, Plan’s eyes fell on Mean, who absolutely glared at his sister. And maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it almost looked like he somewhat sneakily swam between him and his sister, as if he wanted to protect him from her.
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Why couldn’t things go right for him just once?Mean was frustrated.It had all looked so good at first. On his way to the pool house he had remembered Tio’s words again, about letting Plan come to him and he had decided to act as if he innocently wanted to swim in the pool, nothing more.He had been excited to find out that Plan had been hiding in the changing room and he even sneakily buried Plan’s shirt under his own clothes, knowing he would probably try to get back to his room and Mean could see him shirtless again.After all, the maids shouldn’t be the only ones who could enjoy that view.And just when he had had Plan where he had wanted him – with him in the pool – his meddling sister had interfered.He had no idea what Joule’s agenda was at the moment. It looked like she was trying to seduce Plan and Mean was worried.Joule was a bit of a loose cannon.She had talked their parents into allowing her to take time off from studying to prepare her application to fashion design schools in Paris. But Mean sometimes wondered if she actually did that, or just tried to make a career out of being an influencer.She also had many dating rumours flying around about her. Like every member of their family, she was mindful of her public image and she never actually got caught with anyone – but in private, Mean knew the rumours had substance and that Joule truly was a flirt.Thus, he valiantly attempted to protect Plan from her more or less subtle advances before it was too late.“Let’s take a picture together for my Instagram!” she suggested, after she had unsuccessfully tried to get closer to Plan, who seemed eager to avoid her – but also not motivated to leave the pool anymore.Which gave Mean hope.“Can we not?” Plan protested.Mean agreed with him.“Drop it, Joules. He doesn’t like being put on the spot.”“Ohhh... but we would look so cute together! I’m sure a lot of people would ship us!”Mean immediately turned to Plan, to find him confused and obviously uncomfortable.“Ship... where?”Joule laughed.“Awww, you’re such an innocent cutie!” she seemed to either not notice Plan’s efforts to keep away from her or ignore them on purpose. “Shipping means, people would want to see us together in a relationship.”She tried to get between Mean and Plan again, now holding her phone ready to take a selfie as soon as she had convinced the others.“I don’t want to be in a relationship with you,” Plan said with a somewhat resigned calm.“Why not? It doesn’t have to be real. Just a few rumours could get both of us a lot of traction.”“Leave it, Joule. He said no.”Mean sometimes really didn’t get his sister. Joule and him were somewhat close, being the two youngest siblings, the ones allowed to be unreasonable by their parents. But Joule just... overdid it sometimes, okay… most of the time.And while Mean still tried to find ways to keep his sister in check, a visibly annoyed Plan suddenly stepped up.“I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want any rumours,” he said with seething anger, “and I’m not interested in girls.”Mean’s heart jumped.He had known about Win. He had known Plan was at least not straight. But... knowing he wasn’t interested in girls, just like him, and all these flirty maids would leave him cold... it got his hopes up even more.“Oh!” Joule’s smile hadn’t left her face, and neither her determination to take that selfie. “Then maybe you are interested in being shipped with my brother?”To Mean’s horror, she pulled both of them closer to her with a smile, before he knew how to act.Her smile widened to a beam.“That’s even better! Now that I think of it, Boys Love has been all the rage recently. Oh, I bet mum would love this, too! It would make us look so progressive, Meanie, think about it... There are so many wealthy foreign gay couples who want to take a vacation here. Imagine if they all chose our airline because our main model is dating a cute boy. Meanie, baby, you have to agree! Let’s create a ship for you! It doesn’t have to be real, just…”“Joule! Snap out of it!”Mean shook his sister maybe a bit too violently.“He said no. I say no. Stop spinning your stories. And don’t even dare suggesting this to mum!”He glanced sideways at Plan, who seemed shell-shocked, until he caught his gaze.I’ve got this. He silently signalled him.“Relax, baby. It was just an idea. It wouldn’t work without your cooperation, anyway.” And with a smirk, she added: “but, think about it.”“No word to mum or dad about this stupid idea.”“No word, I promise brother, love. You know I wouldn’t do that.”No, he didn’t know if she wouldn’t do that, that was the problem.“I need to go, practice the piano,” he said, and swam to the edge of the pool.He caught Plan’s gaze again, hoping to convey to him that he should wait until his sister was gone, they really needed to talk now.When Plan made a small knocking gesture and softly nodded towards the door of his room, Mean smiled.Now he only needed to deal with his sister.*~*~*For the first time since he had come to Bangkok, Plan regretted that he didn’t own more clothes. One of his two pairs of black uniform trousers was wet, and the other one he needed for tomorrow.His work clothes were at the staff room at Gravity. And all that remained was a pair of sweat pants, if he didn’t want to embarrass himself entirely and wear his sleeping shorts. He would look sloppy, and waiting for Mean to knock on his door now felt like waiting for a date.But… well… he didn’t have much choice.Despite the annoying behaviour of Mean’s sister, Plan felt slightly elated just thinking about it, the way Mean had defended him, the way he had insisted that Joule should respect that he had said no. The glances they had exchanged; the silent communication.He really tried not to get his hopes up too much – it could just be that Mean liked helping people and Plan happened to always need help whenever they met. Mean had helped him get away from Win when he didn’t want to meet him, he had protected him from the media locusts this morning – and now he had even stood up to his scary sister on his behalf.Even if it turned out that Mean had just wanted to be nice because of White Hand – it wouldn’t stop Plan from developing a crush now. Mean had everything – the good looks, the charm, empathy, and Plan remembered that he had talked about taking engineering classes when they were at the Planetarium, so he would know a bit about physics, too.When the knock finally came, Plan’s heart beat faster than back when he had realised Win was really interested in him, and that they would kiss soon.Opening the door had made his heart jump and then sink again.While he himself looked like a hobo in his old t-shirt and the saggy sweat pants, Mean looked every bit the model that he was, even though he wore casual clothes, too, just a pair of grey linen pants and a crisp, new t-shirt with a cute red heart print on it.“I apologise for my sister,” he said, almost as soon as he saw Plan. “I talked her out of that stupid idea. I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause you any more trouble.”“It isn’t your fault.”“Still… my family is a bit…”Plan found it cute how Mean lowered his gaze as he said it.He couldn’t be too angry with Mean’s family – they had allowed him to stay at their pool house after all. And judging by the comment Mean’s sister had made, their parents had known about him all along, so they really didn’t mind him being here.“It’s okay.”He hesitated, then he worked up his courage, smiled, and asked:“Do you want to come in?”Out of the corner of his eyes – he didn’t dare to look at him directly – he saw that Mean was peeking inside, obviously curious about what he had done to the place.Not much, honestly.There was a rolled-up mat he put down onto the floor each night to sleep on, as he had done at home and in Chiang Mai, too. There was a storage cabinet that he used for his few belongings. And the main part – a desk, where he had his stack of physics papers, his old laptop and a docking station for his phone; the only expensive item he had actually bought with the scholarship money so far.“I need to practice the piano. Do you want to come with me instead?”Plan nodded and followed him outside.How could he refuse the opportunity to hear Mean play the piano? He was dying to have a private concert – even if it was just for practice.
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Not for the first time, Plan was reminded how far away he was from the rice paddies.Mean didn’t just have a piano. He had his own grand piano. In his own recording studio.Plan had followed him to a door leading into the basement of the big mansion, finding several different types of guitars lined up in the room, as well as keyboards, drums, a lot of microphones, and the grand piano at the centre of it. In an adjacent booth behind a big window was the recording equipment.As soon as they were inside, Mean went to the control booth, switched on the computer there and got everything up and running.Plan would have remained awestruck by the entire setup for much longer – he didn’t even want to figure out how much all of this must have cost and what it said about the wealth Mean’s family surely had to afford this – if Mean hadn’t returned and pushed him forwards gently but determinedly, until he came to sit on the seat in front of the grand piano, facing away from it.“Do you play an instrument, Plan?”He shook his head.During high school, he had sometimes sneaked into the music room to play around on the piano, but he had never had any formal lessons. Music was a bit like mathematics. A universal language that followed rules you could deduct if you paid attention – and while he was playing around on the piano, Plan had tried to figure out these rules, just as he had done with the rules of physics at home.“I couldn’t afford to take music lessons,” he said sadly, “but I like music as a language. It’s a bit like maths. I sometimes try to figure it out when I get the chance to sit at a piano.”Even as he spoke, he saw Mean’s face light up and for a moment, it looked like he was going to hug him.“You… you see that, too? Of course, you have to see it, that’s why everyone calls you a genius.”While Plan still looked at him with increasing confusion, Mean hurried to sit down next to him, but facing the piano. He began to play a few notes, expertly, like someone who had had a lot of training, before he tilted his head in Plan’s direction once more.“Nobody ever understands why I like both engineering and music. Everyone always acts as if I’m weird for having two such different interests. But you see it, don’t you? It’s the same, making and calculating a plan for a machine and composing music.”Plan turned his head towards him, wide-eyed with surprise.Yes, he understood what he meant.He hadn’t thought about it exactly like that, being more concerned with theoretical than applied physics – but of course he saw the connection.What Mean meant was the same phenomenon that made Plan look at the numbers coming in from experiments sometimes and hear them, the harmonies and the dissonances in the results, before he could even start to analyse them. It worked faster than visualisation, too.But Plan’s surprise wasn’t just in their unexpected mutual understanding.It… he must have been even more shallow about Mean than he had already admitted to himself.Up to now, he had believed that Mean was handsome and charming, as well as kind-hearted and a bit of a player, if not in love – Plan didn’t know about Mean’s love life and he was too nervous to speculate – then he at least had a playful attitude towards life in general. Mean had seemed right at home at Gravity that night they had first talked properly, and he hadn’t appeared to take anything overly serious.Yet… now it looked like Plan had vastly underestimated him.Plan hadn’t expected to find… a kindred spirit?If they called him a genius, maybe Mean was one, too?There was hope… hope that he might not be all alone with the pressure of that ridiculous story anymore.Therefore, he nodded enthusiastically in response to Mean’s explanation, but he didn’t really find a way to put everything he was thinking into words properly.It turned out he didn’t need to.Mean pulled him around to face the keyboard, too and urged him to put his hands up in position.“I have to practice improvisation over this piece,” he said excitedly, pointing at the musical notations in front of him. For Plan, they looked like hieroglyphs, “it’s called Cantaloupe Island. Just listen and watch me play, and once you get it, try joining in. Don’t be shy, it’s just practice, you can’t do it wrong. Take as long as you need to find the right tunes and rhythms. Just go with the flow. I’m sure it will work!”At first, Plan was sceptical. His experiments at the piano had usually not led to anything particularly sweet-sounding. But it turned out that watching Mean play – and more importantly, listening to him – helped a lot.It felt a bit like magic, when he finally dared to chime in.In the beginning, he was only using his right hand to tentatively hit a few notes. What he played was often out of tune and out of rhythm, and he had no idea what he was doing – but as Mean just continued to play the foundation of the piece and encouraged him to continue whenever he was close to giving up, he gradually found it and it began to sound better and better.Whenever he glanced sideways, he could see Mean look back at him – and their smiles said it all.Once they had found the right flow, it felt so good to keep going, that Plan never wanted the music to stop. He had never known that he liked music this much. It felt a bit like another way of talking to each other – and after they had found their stride, they could do more than stick to the formula, they could play and challenge each other, too.*~*~*Mean’s mind was in a haze, he was playing the piano as if he was in a trance. He had improvised with a lot of people – a lot of better trained and more skilled musicians than Plan, but nobody had ever managed to tune into his flow in the same way.There was a special charm to improvisation, if it just worked like that. You didn’t need to be a good musician, the music didn’t even have to sound spectacular – if the players found each other, magic happened.After Mean had signalled Plan that he would start the final loop, he felt almost ecstatic when he saw that Plan had understood and they managed to finish the piece perfectly in sync.They both couldn’t stop staring at each other.Mean was sure Plan could feel it, too, the special connection that clearly existed between them, as made real through the piano.It felt even more magical, when the boy who had run away from him so many times now slowly reached out to touch Mean’s cheek, smiling softly at him the entire time, and finally said what they were both feeling:“I like you.”Mean felt speechless himself. He wanted to say it back, but all he managed was toneless movement of his lips.Still, Plan seemed to understand.He felt his hand wander from his cheek to the back of his neck, making his skin heated up everywhere he touched. He was getting pulled closer to the other’s face as if in slow motion.Mean closed his eyes in anticipation. His heart was beating fast, like never before.Then their lips touched and it all made sense. The warmth he felt, spreading through him. The connection he had felt from the beginning, like worlds colliding together in a beautiful spectacle.He was still too dumbfounded to react, though.He regretted this stunned response when Plan pulled back. He tried to follow his lips to get more instinctively, but he was hindered by the other’s forehead against his. He opened his eyes to look directly into Plan’s deep, dark brown ones.“Do you like me, too?”He nodded slightly, slowly despairing about the fact that he seemed to have lost the ability to speak.He had hoped for this to happen for weeks, probably even from the first time they had met each other in front of the auditorium – and now that it was happening, he was overwhelmed and confused.He wanted this. He wanted it so badly that he was petrified.Just when he felt that Plan was about to pull away, Mean lifted his own hand to the back of the other boy’s neck and moved in to kiss him instead.This time he was less dazed.He could just let go. Plan knew what he was doing, he had kissed before. Just let him take it slowly, get accustomed to another boy so close to him.Now that the reality of it all started to sink in, that this wasn’t a dream, that Plan’s lips were really softly sucking at his, and he could just do the same back… it felt good.It felt really good.Why had he waited for so long to start kissing boys?The thought crossed his mind while his lips were coaxed open by Plan’s tongue and he let him in.
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Plan could get used to this, kissing Mean in his private recording studio and playing music with him.He was still trying to process how different it felt kissing Mean than kissing Win. With Win, it had been light and soft, like a cool summer breeze on a heated day. But Mean… there was weight to it, hints of something deeper, something both scary and alluring that confused him, and yet he couldn’t get enough of it.“What are we gonna do now?” he asked regardless, when they paused for air again. He had lost count on how many times they had pulled away and dove right in anew, “about… us?”Were they dating?Or was this just something Mean had wanted to experiment with?In here, it was alright; it felt good; it felt better than anything he had expected.But out there, the world was scary.“I don’t know.”Plan didn’t know either.No matter how he tried to look at it – all the options were various shades of scary and he preferred to just return to kissing, instead of thinking about the future. But it was getting late and tomorrow would be another day full of study, research, and desperate attempts to evade unwanted attention.“Maybe I should call Viola,” Mean mused, and was already fishing for his phone.“Why?”Plan found it a bit strange that Mean would involve others from White Hand in this already – but he also had to concede that Mean knew this world better than he, and he was scared shitless by the spotlight as it was.“She usually knows what to do…” Mean was shifting around a bit nervously, “also… she’s been dating Rose right under all our noses for months… if someone knows how to pull that off, it’s her.”“Does that mean you want to date me?”“Don’t you?”It was surprising to hear how much insecurity Mean’s voice betrayed. Plan still needed to come to terms with the fact that Mean didn’t just like him back, he obviously really liked him back.“I don’t just randomly kiss boys all evening, if I don’t want to date them,” Plan answered drily.“You never know.”That was true – they didn’t know each other that well. But the idea of just kissing random guys was so far out of his comfort zone, that he hadn’t even thought about it. He was glad to get a sense that it was the same for Mean.By now, he was pretty sure Mean hadn’t kissed anyone before. There was just something about the way he had been overwhelmed by everything that made him look adorably lost even now.“Wait…,” thinking about Mean’s idea of calling Viola, the fact that she was dating Rose, “… is everyone in White Hand gay?”Mean laughed.“I didn’t know, either.”“But is it true?”Mean nodded.“Well, your ex says he’s bi, but… no straights.”“You could have told me that first, I wouldn’t have been so reluctant to join.”Mean rolled his eyes.At first, Plan thought it was about him and he was a bit upset about it. Then, Mean explained:“I couldn’t have told you. I didn’t know it, because these girls kept it a secret. But like I said – that’s why we need to call Viola. She managed to stealth everyone for months, she can help us.”That was... somewhat comforting to know.Still, Plan didn’t know the other White Hand members as well as Mean clearly did, and the thought of them already knowing made him uneasy; not least because it would mean either leaving Win out of the loop, making Plan look like a shitty friend and ex, or telling Win and risking... whatever reaction Win would show.Win had made an effort being just friends with him – but Plan also feared that Win wouldn’t simply accept that he had really moved on to someone new; and, to Mean in particular.“Can’t we figure this out among ourselves first?”“I-” Plan still needed to get used to the fact that Mean, who appeared to be suave and confident when he was dealing with public attention, was so insecure when it came to dating. “I mean… sure. I- err… What do you want?”Plan sighed.The immediate answer was obvious: stay here, never go out, continue kissing each other and maybe play some more music together.But for everything else…“I already think I’m in way over my head in general… with all of these reporters chasing after me,” he began slowly – and upon seeing Mean’s grimace, he quickly added: “but I also want to try this. Be with you. It was… the Planetarium is still one of my favourite memories. I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for making it possible.”He liked how Mean’s face lit up when he mentioned the Planetarium and he just needed to hug him again – it was so tempting to go for another kiss, tomorrow be damned.But now it was Mean who was concerned with solving the question.After a bit of back and forth, they came to the conclusion that they wanted to keep the dating part to themselves and that they would keep it here, at home. Plan still needed to make an effort to process the fact that this big, expensive mansion was Mean’s home, not just a place where faceless fancy rich people lived.Since Mean continued to remain anxious, Plan finally allowed him to prepare to call Viola – but they agreed that Mean would pretend to ask the question hypothetically and that Plan would stay out of the frame if he made it a video call.He had been a bit surprised to learn that apparently, Mean had had a crush on him since the beginning and that Viola had known about it for a while. He was a bit sceptical that Mean would successfully fool his best friend into believing he was asking the question hypothetically – but he’d rather hear what Mean told her, than risk him calling her in the middle of the night and telling her all kinds of other things about him. “Actually… before I call…” Mean suddenly became so meek that Plan was worried he wouldn’t like what he was going to say, “I have to confess something… two things.”“Out with it.”He’d rather know it quickly, even if it stung, whatever Mean wanted to say – rather than drag it out and get in even deeper. Plan prayed that it wasn’t something that would push him away again. The kisses had been too sweet. Mean had felt too close, too familiar already – he didn’t want to have to give it up because Mean had done something he shouldn’t have.“Viola found out about you living here a while ago. I was… surprised, when she told me about it. So, it really is coincidence that you moved here. But…” Mean said quickly, “I knew you would be at the pool house when I came to swim today.”Plan knew that this information might have upset him… before the kisses.But now?“Have you sneaky guy been trying to seduce me?”Mean hung his head.“Well… you were successful, weren’t you? I’m here.”The eyes that looked up at him were full of hope. Plan had to admit he rather liked the half-smile that was forming around Mean’s mouth. Why was he so cute?“Did that really work?”“Are you fishing for compliments? Do I really have to tell you that I think you are handsome? Everyone who has eyes can see that.”No matter how much Mean was clearly aware of his good looks, it made Plan feel giddy to see how much he evidently liked to hear it from him.“What’s the other thing, then?”Plan regretted to see the happy smile disappear from Mean’s face instantly.“The lunch boxes…”Mean could never finish the sentence – Plan immediately pulled his arms around him in a tight hug. He was relieved. This was… infinitely better than the alternatives.“OMG! I’m so glad they’re from you!” he exclaimed, “thank you! I was scared that I would have to break some poor maid’s heart.”“You… are not mad at me?”Should he be?Maybe… maybe he would have had reasons for that… a few hours ago. But now? Now he was just happy that the nice encouraging notes he had collected in his room were from Mean, that the delicious food was from him… it made him look even better than he already did in Plan’s eyes.A few kisses could change a lot.“Why would you think that?”“Ah… no reason…”Telling these things to him seemed to take a huge load off Mean’s mind. He was noticeably more light-hearted – but he also threatened to crush Plan with how tightly he hugged him.
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“Argh, stop it,” Viola groaned and tried to reach for her ringing phone.Her movement pushed sleeping Rose’s head off her back. Viola regretted losing the connection to her girlfriend. It had been a long and tedious day, dealing with all these foreign reporters and trying to figure out who the members of Black Hand were.She had four of the five members pinned down pretty solidly, but the last one was eluding her and she didn’t like it.There was Rom, the guy who had made a fool of himself in front of the cameras of all the important international TV stations – but it would probably grant him meme status, if they only used a few soundbites from him. So, the fact that he was a bumbling idiot might not entirely be to his disadvantage.Then there was Cameron, the guy who thought he was God’s personal gift to womanhood – who had also already made trouble for them even before Black Hand had been announced.There was a girl named Peach, who thought she was a victim of everything and everyone – and who also thought this made her a better artist than Rose.And some jock named Bernie, whose only accomplishment in sports was to fail to make it onto the youth national team in football – claiming it wasn’t due to his lack of skills, but due to bribes paid by his competitors. Normally, Viola would have had sympathy for such a claim, knowing how corruption could mess things up – but like all the other Black Hand people, Bernie seemed to be driven by his hubris more than anything else.Viola suspected that the fifth person was the brain behind the operation, the person who had written the article attacking Mean’s leadership skills – and she hated the fact that she hadn’t found their identity, yet. That person clearly was the most dangerous of the five, and it could be anyone.Luckily, Rose had been able to distract her tonight, and make her see all the good things she had going for her in her life.Viola had drifted into sweet dreams... until now, and that fucking phone.The caller could only be one of two people: she had her phone on silent except for Rose, obviously, her brother Vic, and her best friend Mean. Since it clearly wasn’t Rose, who had only turned around, covering her ears, and was already drifting back to sleep next to her – it had to be one of the others.Either Vic was in boy trouble and wanted her to get him out. Or Mean had another gay panic.She rolled her eyes when she saw that it was indeed Mean.It was almost midnight. They had talked about preparations for the foreign reporters and protecting Mean’s genius crush for half the night last night. Why couldn’t he sleep like normal people?“What is it, Meanie,” she groaned into the phone, letting him know she was sleepy and cranky.“Sorry to disturb you, Vi. I just... I wanted to ask you something.” Ah... there he went again. It was high time Mean got his boy and let her rest properly. Though... he sounded suspiciously chipper and awake for someone who likely hadn’t slept at all last night.“Argh... What? Just ask.”“Hypothetically...”Was he seriously calling her right now to ask hypothetical questions?“If I wanted to date... him without people finding out, like Rose and you... how would I have to do it?”“Did something happen?”Mean sounded too cheerful for the time of day. He was either drunk – or the question wasn’t hypothetical.Viola sat up, now more awake.This was intriguing.“No, of course not. Just hypothetical. I want to be prepared for everything.”“If it’s just hypothetical, let’s talk about it tomorrow. You’re free after lunch, aren’t you? Let’s meet at uni and mull it over in peace.”The slightly panicked breath Mean took, and the suspicious reverb in the audio led Viola to believe that Mean wasn’t telling her everything. It sounded like the phone was on speakers, for one thing.“Come on. You know I can’t sleep if I keep going over in my mind.”“Where are you, anyway? Your voice sounds weird.”“Oh, just the studio,” he said, trying too hard to sound innocent. And he even added, completely unnecessarily: “I was practicing improvisation, it went really well, so I’m still hyped up from it. And, I lost track of time.”By now, Viola was almost certain that there were two boys listening, and that this meant Mean had finally made a move.Or Plan.He was a bit of a dark horse for her, still.In any case – if she was right, and there were two boys on the other side of the phone, it meant Plan had reciprocated Mean’s feelings and they were off to a promising start. Otherwise, Mean wouldn’t have asked that question.“Hypothetically,” she said, drawing out the word a bit too much, “you should make sure he knows he’s living at your house as soon as possible.”“Pool house. He knows,” Mean seemed to catch that he had given himself away somewhat, but the cover-up attempt was adorable. “I mean... he would know by then, wouldn’t he? I would have told him.”“If you say so...”“God you’re cranky today, Vi. What is it?”Asked the guy who was depriving her of her beauty sleep right now.“It’s almost midnight, Meanie… go to sleep. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”Actually, she was wide awake now – but she wanted to test her hypothesis that something had happened.“Just one question… if, hypothetically, we had agreed to try being together at home… what would be the most important first step be, so it doesn’t blow up?”“Make sure not just he knows that he’s living at your pool house – but the public knows, too,” she said, “but they have to think it is completely innocent. So… get your parents to talk about the genius that is living with them, or convince him to make a home story or something. The more established it is that he has a legitimate reason to stay with you, that has nothing to do at all with you or White Hand, the better. Don’t get caught at home, though.”She heard a deep sigh through the phone that she was positive hadn’t come from Mean – particularly when it was followed by a faint hush.Aww… they were technically the same age as her, but since it was the first time Mean was taking steps towards dating, she couldn’t help but thinking of them as her little baby gays. Or, well… at least Mean was. She had no clue what to make of Plan, yet. He was Win’s ex and if Win’s bold behaviour was any indication, Plan wouldn’t be as clueless as Mean.Maybe it was just one panicked baby gay, and one genius with acute stage fright.“If you want to, we can fuel the rumours that the two of us are dating. As long as my brother doesn’t want to settle down, I don’t mind. There’s already a shipping tag around for us, anyway” she added quickly.“Other than that…” if Mean was relying on her finding more unconventional solutions, she would need more time and be less sleepy. For now, she could only offer the obvious, “just don’t do anything in public that might raise suspicions. Though… well, with boys like you… you can always embrace shipping rumours, should they come up. There’s an entire community out there waiting for another high-profile male couple to latch onto. As long as you neither confirm nor deny, you might get a ton of traction out of it, if you can stomach the attention.”There was an audible, frustrated intake of breath she could safely attribute to not-Mean.So… Plan was definitely there, and probably freaking out for entirely different reasons than Mean. As much as she liked to think that she could outplay anyone – and she would most definitely win against Black Hand… she wasn’t positive those two boys would succeed in keeping their budding relationship private, once it started properly.But it wouldn’t happen tonight, or tomorrow, in any case, unless they did something really stupid.So… just…“That’s all I have for now, Meanie. Good luck with everything. Please, let me go back to sleep.”“Good night, Vi.”
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Even though he was exhausted, Mean couldn’t fall asleep.He kept staring at the dark ceiling of his room, trying to get the giddy feeling inside of himself to quiet down.It didn’t work.Thinking back at the many times Plan had kissed him this evening felt surreal – and each kiss had been better than the one before. His lips were still slightly tingly and swollen from so much unfamiliar activity, reminding him of the reality of it all.That he had really done it.Or, well… Plan had.If he had waited for Mean to make the first move, they would probably have danced around each other for… maybe forever, or until Win would have inevitably made a move again, and Mean would either have lost, or felt compelled to act.Now that Plan had confessed to him, it wasn’t difficult to see that his crush hadn’t been as one-sided as he had thought it was.He was happy that he had made it a habit to record all his improvisation exercises, because he now had a recording of the music he had created with Plan, not just as a memory, but as proof that it had really happened.Before he had gone back to his room, he had taken time to edit out, delete and overwrite the parts where they had talked, and the embarrassing kissing noises. Mean wasn’t callous or stupid enough to keep a recording of that around – something like this would eventually find its way into the wrong hands. If Viola didn’t find it first, of course.Though… Viola’s hands would probably also have counted as wrong hands.So… good thing he had deleted that.And lucky, that he had preserved the music.Objectively, as the music student that he was after all, upon listening to it repeatedly, he could tell that it wasn’t the greatest recording of Cantaloupe Island ever… not even the greatest he had ever played himself. But maybe it was just his hopelessly infatuated heart – he believed that the emotions in it could still be heard, and it made it special.He would have to give a copy to Plan, too.Though… it had happened again, hadn’t it?He had done something behind Plan’s back accidentally. Mean hadn’t forgotten to warn Plan he was recording the session on purpose. Starting the recording was something he did so routinely that he hadn’t thought about what he was doing when he set it up. And to be fair… he had gone into the studio thinking he would play and Plan would only listen.Maybe… was it too much to hope that Plan would like to have the recording, too? Even more so if he showed him that he had really deleted everything else?They had said goodbye at the studio, because Plan could barely keep his eyes open anymore and Mean had needed to finish up things. The goodbye kiss had felt divine. But then Plan had left and everything had felt empty without him.He could see him the next morning. And hopefully in the evening.And the next day.*~*~*Plan looked down onto the plate that had just been placed in front of him by a maid.This was weird. This was really weird.He knew the maid from breakfast, she was one of the regulars. But now that he sat at the fancy table, she treated him like some young master and he felt lost.He had no idea what the food on the plate even was, not to mention how to eat it – and he gazed sideways at Mean, trying to get a hint on what to do.This was a mistake.Not the part where he was secretly dating Mean, that part was great. The part where he had accepted the dinner invitation from Mean’s family.In theory, he had understood why it was necessary. He could see both Viola’s and Mean’s argument. Now that he had officially joined White Hand – not to mention now that several of the high-profile features about him had already run on international TV and the invitations kept pouring in from everywhere – people would soon find out where he lived.They wouldn’t be able to follow him inside, though, so all they would see was him entering through the front gate of the Attachitsataporn mansion and everyone would make their own assumptions.So… he needed to get to know Mean’s parents. He needed to find out why they had agreed to let him stay at their pool house. And, they needed to figure out how they could make his presence here official without raising suspicions.They had talked the news over with all of White Hand this afternoon – only the news that Mean and Plan accidentally shared an address. Of course, they had pretended to care about it for no other reason than the troubles it could cause if people began to speculate.Plan wasn’t ready for Win to find out he was dating again.Win had immediately offered to take Plan in instead – he had claimed that his dorm room was big enough for both of them. Luckily, Viola had calmly talked him out of it, before Plan had had a chance to turn him down and raise suspicions.Logically, if sharing an address with Mean could cause trouble, the same would be true about Win. With the additional complication that if people started to dig into their history, they would find out they had attended the same high school – and someone would eventually figure out they had been a couple.Meanwhile, Mean’s family was one of the five high-level sponsors of UdG, they were part of the financiers behind Plan’s scholarship – it would look good on them if they could profile themselves as generous patrons of a scientific genius. So it shouldn’t be difficult to get them to endorse him publicly and mention in interviews that they were letting him stay with them to provide him with a good study environment.Win had taken Plan aside afterwards and had asked him if he was really okay with staying at Mean’s address and getting paraded around like that.The truth was… yes to the first part, no to the second. But there was no way he could have one without the other.It didn’t escape him that Win had subtly tried to warn him about Mean. Win didn’t fully trust the White Hand leader – and Plan suspected that he might have sensed something between them, even though he clearly hadn’t figured out the truth, yet.Other than a short, but strangely intense kiss in the morning in Plan’s room, when Mean had brought the lunch box that was no longer a secret, they hadn’t acted any differently towards each other than normal. Except that they were talking to each other, of course, since they both belonged to White Hand now.So, this was how it had happened that Plan had put on his whitest shirt and the pair of trousers that hadn’t gotten soaked last night by falling into the pool, he had applied some hair gel and now he was sitting in front of a selection of shiny silver cutlery, crystalline glasses, and impossibly delicate porcelain dinnerware.He awkwardly waited for the other people at the table to start eating, before he tried to imitate them.Mean’s father, who had already told him to call him Pa like everyone else in the family, seemed to catch his discomfort and tried to reassure him:“Oh, Plan, you are our honoured guest this evening – please don’t feel shy, just enjoy the food like you normally would. Nobody will judge you. We should have told the staff to make it a simple dinner, we’re sorry.”It had the opposite effect on him, though. These words just highlighted that he wasn’t meant to sit at a table like that.“Mean, why don’t you help your friend out?”At least, Mean seemed to understand how difficult this really was for him, and mouthed a silent ‘I’m so sorry’ to him and proceeded to point out the right fork and knife to use on the first course and how to use it properly.“You always take the outermost one – and once you’re finished, you leave it on the plate like this,” Mean showed him the position, “and the maids will take it away.”Plan nodded, not hiding the grimace on his face.Not even when he had stayed at the school director’s house had he ever sat at such a fancy dinner table. The fact that Mean’s family tried hard to be nice and sympathetic towards him didn’t do much to alleviate his feeling of being a bull in a china shop.Underneath it all, Plan could see that everyone really made an effort to accommodate him – and the family was actually talking rapidly and animatedly, not at all like the stiff, polite conversation you would have expected at such an exquisite table. He could still have worn a neon sign pointing at his head, saying ‘I don’t belong here’, and it wouldn’t be more obvious than this.At first, the other people at the table were mercifully talking among each other and Plan learned a lot of things about Mean’s family. For example, that Mean’s middle sister Tara, who was sitting directly in front of Plan, was finishing her combined degree in business administration and law this semester. A large part of the conversation at the table was about the progress of her thesis.Plan found out that Tara was slated to take over a subsidiary of the shipping business the family owned – there still seemed to be a bit of a debate going on between father and daughter as to which one – and Plan was surprised how different this business-oriented sister was from Mean and his other sister Joule, whom he had met the day before.This other sister was also the reason why Plan didn’t dare to exchange more than a few very discreet glances with Mean as the meal continued. She seemed to observe them like a hawk – and for Plan, there was no doubt that she would try to push her ridiculous ‘fake dating’ schemes onto them again if she sensed that they were close. Even without knowing the truth: that there would be nothing fake about it.Eventually, just before the main course was served, the attention inevitably turned to him.Plan had the feeling that they had limited their interactions with him to very superficial and short comments so far, because they wanted to give him time to adjust to the situation. But now, this period of grace was over.“I have to say,” Mean’s father began, “when Prof. Marsden showed me the paper you’ve entered in that competition, I could immediately see that you are special. It is a real honour for us to sponsor such a talented individual, Plan.”Ah, there they went again. What was so special about that damn paper?“I’ve shown it to some of the programmers working at our IT department, and they were very impressed by your method as well. How did you come up with that solution?”“It wasn’t a big idea or anything,” Plan tried to explain, “it was just… necessity. I was working on an old and slow computer, so I needed to find a way to reduce the data set without compromising accuracy and then I just sat down, thought it through and wrote that paper... because I needed to hand in a homework assignment. It’s so simple, though.”“Isn’t simplicity often more difficult to attain than a complicated solution?”Plan shrugged.“In my opinion, you are a perfect example of how necessity breeds innovation. None of my overpaid programmers would have had the patience or the clarity of mind to look for such a beautifully simple solution, but you did, because you needed it,” the father eyed him up approvingly and added, “I’m curious now. Our housekeeper came to us after she allowed you to stay at the pool house, to formally get our approval. We immediately suggested to her that we should offer you a room at the house. We have plenty of guest rooms to spare and we would be delighted to have someone like you at our house – but she advised us that you surely preferred to stay where you are. Is that true? Is this frugality a way to keep your scientific edge?”He… no?All of this was a bit much to process.He was aware that they had known about him and everything, but… okay, yes, he wouldn’t have felt comfortable accepting a room in the house, but not… was Mean’s father insinuating that Plan was doing this as a deliberate act? It was just… he didn’t… it was obvious he didn’t belong in a room in the big house, even now – that’s why he felt more comfortable living where he was now.“It’s not that deep,” Plan said, “it’s just what I’m used to. My grandparents’ hut would fit twice in this room alone. And I used to live in a garden shed. The pool house is an upgrade from both.”“Then, may we offer you a room in the house?”“That’s very generous, sir-”“Please, call me Pa, I insist.”Plan nodded, confused.“It isn’t necessary. I like the pool house. I like being close to the garden.”“Sweetie, we can give you a room on the ground floor with your own garden patio. We can even give you your own garden patch if you want to grow your own plants,” Mean’s mother offered.By now, he felt cornered. It didn’t look like he could reasonably reject the offer – particularly given the fact that they still needed to convince the family to talk about him to the media.He had barely finished thanking them for the kind offer and that such a room would sound lovely indeed – he wasn’t convinced he would feel comfortable there – and Mean’s mother already called a maid over to tell her to prepare a specific room. Plan had no idea where it was, but the maid seemed to understand.They assured him that he could move in after dinner and told Mean to help him move his stuff if necessary.After they had settled this – Mean’s parents appeared to be very satisfied with themselves, and Mean himself seemed oddly happy about it, too – the conversation returned back to normal. Or… as normal as it could be, given the circumstances.Mean’s father tried to talk to Plan about physics, about the work he was doing with Prof. Marsden.It inevitably ended in the awkward kind of mood that made Plan generally dread talking about physics to anyone who wasn’t a physicist themselves. The people at the table made valiant efforts trying to follow his explanations, and Plan tried his best to remain understandable – but the blank stares in everyone’s faces told it all.With one exception.One very promising exception.Mean clearly still understood him, he nodded and frowned at the appropriate places. Plan also remembered the debate they had had over lunch with Viola about the merits of frequentist versus Bayesian inference, where Mean had grumbled about how much he hated the slippery nature of statistics, Viola had mocked him and Plan had seen both sides of the argument. Mean had easily been able to hold his own, then.It just made the situation at hand more curious in contrast. Unlike during their debate at lunch, Mean never contributed anything to the conversation at the table here – and nobody else seemed to notice his silence.Instead, when his parents eventually moved their focus on to him, they were only asking him about his upcoming modelling jobs and urged him to think about his start of semester party. As if Mean was just as shallow and vapid as his sister Joule – if indeed she was like that and she wasn’t hiding her true potential, too.Didn’t Mean’s parents know about their son’s capabilities?Or… didn’t they want to see it?Even when they reminded Mean to show Plan his workshop, in case Plan needed to set up an experiment or something – they clearly had no idea how modern physics worked – they treated Means interest in engineering as nothing more than a slightly frivolous and amateurish hobby. Not something Mean seriously studied at university. Like Plan did with physics.Plan made a mental note to get to the bottom of this. It was already strange to be showered with praise by Mean’s family about his supposed genius; it was even stranger to think that their own son might be equally talented and they just… didn’t see it?He was briefly tempted to say something right there – but it was probably better to ask Mean about it, first.Maybe he had a reason for hiding in plain sight.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
From an armchair in Plan’s new bedroom, Mean observed him as he was inspecting it sceptically.Dinner had been straining for both of them, but for Plan in particular. Mean had felt sorry for him that he had to go through this and that he hadn’t been able to give him more support without stirring up a hornet’s nest.Mean had seen that Joule was suspicious – as he would have been himself, if he had seen someone else act as oddly as he had yesterday. They needed to be extra-careful in front of her.It sucked, that it had to be like this.At least his parents were clearly fond of Plan. Mean hoped that it went beyond the PR opportunity he afforded to them and that they genuinely liked him. They had suggested that Plan made a home story about his life at the mansion with a tv program of their choice, even before Plan had to bring it up himself.That was probably why they had pushed for the maids to prepare this room – rooms actually, they had given Plan one of the most luxurious guest quarters in the entire house, made of a bedroom and a study, as well as his own bathroom and access to his private garden patio, as they had promised during dinner. Usually, only high-society guests were hosted here – they must really value Plan.The boy himself didn’t seem too happy about the room, though.“Too big,” he muttered under his breath “what should I even use so much space for,” or, “bed’s too soft,” while he walked around, shaking his head.“So critical,” Mean commented.Give it to Plan to complain about a room being too big and too comfortable.It finally made Plan snap out of it and their eyes met.Mean smiled.His heart jumped when Plan smiled back and started to walk towards him.Pretending not to be more than fellow White Hand members all day had been hard. At times, Mean could almost have convinced himself that he had dreamt it all up, that they hadn’t actually kissed in his studio last night.Even when he had helped Plan pack up his stuff at the insistence of his parents, it had felt like he was just standing in the way. Plan owned so little that it had all fit into a duffle bag. He wouldn’t have needed any assistance, and they had both felt too exposed still to interact in any more meaningful way.“I don’t complain about this part,” Plan said, when he had reached him and slowly leaned down towards him.He chuckled.“Boyfriend.”The way Plan said that word sent shivers down Mean’s spine. It still felt unreal; that there was now someone who called him that.And not just anyone.Mean hated that his eyes still quickly flickered towards the windows to check if the night curtains were drawn properly, before he moved in to close the distance between them. He couldn’t afford to be entirely careless.“Boyfriend,” he whispered back, just before their lips touched.The electrifying jolt that accompanied the kiss threatened to overwhelm him again, just like it had done the night before. So much had happened since their last kiss in the morning, he must have forgotten how it felt.How were they going to survive this, if they could only kiss in the evening like this, and maybe in the morning, if they found a proper pretext to spend time together?
Unimportant.
The only thing that mattered right now was that they could feel each other again. And that Plan was manoeuvring himself to sit onto Mean’s lap, without ever breaking away from him.“Finally,” Plan said, when he moved to lean his forehead against Mean’s, “I’ve been waiting for this all day.”While Plan shifted again, to make himself more comfortable in the armchair, in Mean’s lap, Mean felt compelled to say something about dinner:“Sorry… you know, that you had to meet the family. They’re… well, they’re… like that.”“You’re worth it.”Plan looked up at him with a gentle smile – and Mean suddenly wondered how he could know. Whether it was true. Whether it was indeed… worth it. To him, it felt like it was. He wanted it to be. But while Plan had told him a lot about himself when he hadn’t known who he was talking to, he realised that Plan didn’t know much about him in return.Worse, all he had to go with was his public image – and the one his parents were painting of him, that didn’t make him look very flattering.“I hope I am.”“You are,” Plan insisted.Mean rewarded him with a peck on the cheek, that trailed just a little longer than necessary.“Though I was wondering…” Plan said quietly, “why didn’t you join the conversation when we were talking about physics? You were the only one at the table who understood what I was talking about, but you didn’t show it at all. Is it a secret?”How?How could he have noticed?It…“It’s… complicated.”He didn’t know how to explain… how even to begin to explain. It was… for him, he was so used to it that he wasn’t even consciously holding back anymore.“You don’t have to tell me now,” Plan said gently, “I just need to know whether it’s something I shouldn’t expose. You know… like us. Or liking boys.”Mean took a deep breath.“It’s not… that important. But maybe… let’s just keep the physics talk to ourselves. When we’re at university, or just us. Not here.”He could see the unspoken question in Plan’s eyes, the one he was holding back.
Why?
He would have to explain it to him.Sooner or later. Today… there had been so much already. Would Plan still think he was worth it, even after that?Mustering his courage, he still made a first attempt:“My family is… ah, I guess they’re not better or worse than any other of our kind… money and power are a dangerous cocktail…”He sighed.“I understand,” Plan assured him, “or, actually… I probably don’t, you live in a really strange world for someone like me. But, you don’t have to explain it right now. It’s good enough to know that I shouldn’t discuss these things with you in front of your parents.”“No, I think you should know… I mean, just by living here… you’ll have to know about the family and the company.”Mean shook his head, this thing they were trying to build together, their relationship… it would all be more complicated than he had hoped.Though… it was also strangely thrilling. Just the fact that he was now in his boyfriend’s room, a boyfriend who was still sitting in his lap, cuddling with him – right under his clueless family’s noses.“My grandfather believed in the value of competition,” Mean began, mocking the words – value and competition, “and he mercilessly pitted my father and my uncles against each other to fight over the succession at the company. He had made it clear very early that he would give it to the son who proves most worthy, not the one who’s older. My aunt couldn’t even join the competition, because… only sons were worthy in his eyes.”Mean then continued to tell the family story.How his father had won the competition against his two brothers, because he had had no other choice but to fight for the inheritance and his father’s approval. Eventually, he had proven he had the guts and was cunning enough to gain and hold power when it counted. After the grandfather had announced the official succession, one of the uncles cut off all ties to the family and emigrated to France, where his trail got cold.“We have no idea where he is and what he’s doing now. Maybe I have cousins in France that I don’t know about. Maybe he’s still plotting revenge. Or maybe he isn’t even alive anymore,” Mean shook his head.It wasn’t for lack of trying that they didn’t know about his uncle’s fate. He had disappeared very thoroughly.The other uncle had tumbled into a downwards spiral of drug addiction and illness once he had understood that he had lost the fight – it was unclear what he had died of in the end, whether an illness had claimed him, or an overdose, or if it had been suicide.Losing both his brothers, and being left with a difficult relationship with his sister, were Mean’s father’s biggest regrets.“My father is determined not to repeat my grandfather’s mistake,” he concluded, “that’s why my parents have given each of us a role in the family from the beginning. My oldest sister will inherit the company, my brother and my middle sister will take over the two branches – my brother will probably take over the ocean carriers and the railways, and my sister Tara, you know, the one who was at dinner earlier, she will inherit the airline and the truckage business. So… this leaves Joule and myself. Who aren’t needed in the company. And who must not compete with our older siblings under any circumstances…”They were sitting in silence for a while. Mean could see that Plan was trying to process all the information. He sometimes suddenly looked at him with a comment, like “that’s messed up”, or just a few curses or frowns.Finally, he turned towards him again, a questioning frown on his forehead:“Wait… what does this have to do with pretending not to understand physics?”Mean shook his head.“They allow me to do whatever I like, because they don’t want me to be bitter about not inheriting the company. I can do music. They love it when I do modeling gigs, that makes them very proud. I can throw big parties and invite everyone I want: they’ll happily pay for and promote the event.”If he put it like that, it sounded pathetic even to himself.“They let me have my workshop because my interest in machines was so obvious early on that they couldn’t overlook it… but they only encourage me because they think what I do is nothing more than mindless tinkering. You know, like bike repairs look like a ridiculous way for Viola to rebel against the obligation to take over her family’s business.”He shook his head.“If they found out how much I really know about programming, engineering, and applied physics, they’d get nervous. They’d suspect I’ll try to get into the company somehow, or that I’d found my own business and buy shares in secret or some other crazy scheme. I won’t do that. I’m happy that I’m not in my older siblings’ place… but my parents, they just… overreact.”He sighed again.“So… It’s better if they keep thinking I’m just a pretty face.”“But… doesn’t it hurt? That you have to limit yourself like that?”“Says the guy who keeps insisting that he’s just a farmer…”The comment earned him prod to his shoulder.“That’s different.”“How is that different?”As much as Mean liked Plan’s kisses… the kiss he got now wasn’t an answer to the question, and he couldn’t just… it wasn’t… he should still answer…Or not.Mean was rapidly forgetting what the question was.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The room was almost completely dark.Plan lay on his back on his old mat on the floor, arms folded behind his neck, staring into the void of his new room.He had tried to sleep in the bed, he really did; but it felt too weird, too unfamiliar. After trying for an hour, he had finally given up, had unrolled the mat and had wrapped his old blanket around himself.The one he had taken with him from his grandparents’ hut.The one that smelled like home.
How is that different?
Mean’s last question still repeated in his thoughts, like a program stuck in an infinite loop.Why had he opted for distracting Mean, rather than answer it?Plan still maintained that his situation wasn’t comparable to Mean’s dilemma at all. But... the fact that he hadn’t come up with a convincing way to explain the difference... bugged him.After the successful distraction… kiss, Mean had regretfully needed to go back to his own room, if they didn’t want people to knock and ask what they were doing.Or something.They would need to find proper excuses for spending time together in private. Thankfully, Plan didn’t believe it would be too hard, as long as they didn’t leave the house. Mean’s parents had been surprisingly eager for their son to befriend him – or they wouldn’t have sent Mean to help him move his stuff. He hadn’t needed help anyway, but they could have easily sent a maid or a servant instead.They had also insisted that Mean showed him his workshop, even though Plan was a theoretical physicist and wouldn’t have much use for a workshop. He liked to tinker with things now and then, but Mean was much better at this stuff than he would ever be.But… they clearly wanted Mean to be close to him.It was really only a matter of distracting Mean’s sister Joule, so she didn’t try to push them in the open for PR, without understanding what was really going on.All these other things would be so much more interesting to have stuck in his head on repeat... fond memories of kisses, of unexpected depth and understanding for each other, rather than...
How is that different?
Plan didn’t have to hide his true potential because it would be dangerous to reveal it, like Mean had to. He was just... cautious.
Realistic.
He needed to remember who he was, where he came from, where he would have to return to.Though the others had also been right, kind of... when they had insisted that he couldn’t escape the genius story anymore.He truly couldn’t, now.Maybe...What was the harm in embracing it and watching how far it would get him, really?Even if he fell on his nose... going back to the rice paddies was always an option. It was what he was counting on anyway.It was just... not that clear cut anymore. Would he even still want to go back?The world he had stumbled into here might be scary, strange, and full of traps, but the longer he stayed, the harder it was to even consider leaving.He couldn’t leave this place anymore.Not when it had Mean in it.And theoretical physics.And the possibility to have deep and challenging conversations with other people. Conversations he had been forced to have with himself so far, because nobody he had known had understood enough to have their own views on the subjects that interested him.He now had the opportunity to do research that truly ventured into the frontiers of the known universe, even if what he did was an absolutely minuscule contribution to the greater scheme of things. It was still research that promised to find answers that nobody had found before them. He was pulled in by the allure of being the first to understand something, the first to solve a mystery that generations of researchers had worked towards, or questions they might not even have asked.It was addictive, being in this kind of environment.Not just being part of Prof. Marsden’s study group. It even included White Hand and their impressive assembly of talents, full of fascinating and surprising insight. It was inspiring, hearing Mean talk about music, or Rose about art, or Viola about risks, odds, and chances, seeing the surprising parallels to his own research everywhere.Grudgingly, he had to admit it included Win, too. Seeing him strive was nice, now that opportunities began to match his ambitions – as long as he didn’t try to reignite their past relationship, being friends with Win was no problem.But that was just it.Back in Chiang Mai, it had felt easy, both embracing and containing his feelings for Win at the same time. He had kept their little romance firmly locked in time and space from the beginning, turning it into a sweet bubble to jump in and out of at his leisure.He might not really know much about Mean, yet – and Mean didn’t know him very well, either – but he had already failed to create the same bubble around them here. They had only been together for a bit over a day, most of the time pretending to barely be friends, and yet, Plan had already met Mean’s parents and had moved into his house as an official guest.There was more.In hindsight, it almost looked like Mean had been sent to him to help him find his place in this strange environment – he had a knack of turning up whenever Plan felt particularly lost. The first time he had stupidly turned him down without thinking. The second time it had only worked because Mean had pretended to be a stranger. And the third time, when he was getting swarmed by reporters, the situation had been so overwhelming that Mean had felt like a shield of light around him.Plan had no choice now but to try and make it work with him against the odds, somehow. Without Mean… he knew he couldn’t bear staying in this environment, continuing his research, dealing with public attention, and all the skyrocketing expectations.It was a tall order for such a fragile new relationship – and yet, Plan wasn’t afraid anymore.He knew he wanted to stay now: which meant he wanted to be with Mean, which meant he knew what counted – and what didn’t.Having your priorities sorted properly, knowing what you were focussing on, was often half the research done already.*~*~*When Mean came downstairs for breakfast the next morning, he was surprised to find Plan already sitting at the table. And not just that, he was animatedly discussing the upcoming home story with Mean’s parents and the housekeeper.Apparently, auntie had already contacted the PR department of the company, who had alerted the reporters the family usually supplied with privileged information – and the story would be happening today in the late afternoon.After seeing how difficult dinner yesterday had been for Plan, Mean would have expected him to be more reluctant about the home story.But now… it looked like he was… all in?“Good morning, Mean!”His mum smiled at him and pointed at the empty chair next to Plan.“We’re just figuring out how to give a proper introduction to Plan at his new home. The PR department is already contacting your agency as we speak. We’re working towards relocating your magazine shoot this afternoon to our garden. That way, you can appear in the story, too. Maybe we can even get them to use your music in the background.”Mean wondered whether it was too reckless to suggest the recording of Cantaloupe Island, just because… nobody would know. It probably was. Reckless.Maybe if he had a chance to talk to Plan first… it might be a fun inside joke.While his parents continued to chatter about the organisation of the tv shoot, Mean risked a glance sideways at Plan.The change in his boyfriend was strange… but palpable. Plan was indulging Mean’s parents, true, but he also seemed oddly relaxed about it… Mean wanted to talk to him alone, soon.He wanted to know what had happened.Before that was possible, though, Mean had to sit through breakfast, fighting his mounting confusion.For him, it wasn’t an unusual situation – this kind of frantic planning going on during meals was the most efficient way to prepare for family PR. His mum was a true pro when it came to these matters, and it showed.What was unusual was the way Plan played along, gave answers – and asked questions. So many questions. Not the frustrating kind he sometimes used to try and shut down a conversation he didn’t want – the kind that was genuinely curious and interested.And… even more unsettling… Plan had agreed to skip his classes and his research time at UdG today, to focus on the preparations for the tv shoot. Apparently, Prof. Marsden had already agreed, because their department could use the PR. They had recently applied for additional funding by the government, and they thought to increase their chances, if their department got mainstream exposure like that.Up to now, Mean had thought that Plan wouldn’t give up any chance to do physics for anything in the world – and particularly for something as superficial and vapid as a home story.Not even when Mean understood that the deal his mum had negotiated granted exclusivity to the reporters did Plan’s attitude fully make sense to him. Sure, it gave the university PR team a compelling reason to turn down all the other interview requests and tv invitations, and that was what Plan had wanted all along. And sure, they had agreed that they needed to establish an innocent reason for Plan to be at his house…But that didn’t explain why Plan was so upbeat about it.Mean finally got a chance to talk to Plan when breakfast was over – and he could use the pretext of showing him the workshop to get some much-needed privacy.“Don’t forget to come back here in an hour,” auntie reminded Plan, before they left, “I called my son to accompany you to buy clothes for this afternoon. You’ll like him, he’s studying agriculture. I’m sure he can help you choose something that suits your taste and is appropriate as well.”Mean felt an unexpected pang of jealousy at the idea that Plan would go shopping with Tio – and that he couldn’t go with them, because he needed to attend his own schedule, go to classes and prepare for the photo shoot this afternoon.It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Tio – Tio was the most loyal person he knew, one who was aware of Mean’s interest in Plan, and who had actually helped him get it right. He wasn’t jealous that the two of them might hit it off together and leave him behind.He was jealous of the opportunity Tio had. Mean also wanted to be able to spend an entire morning alone with Plan and see him try on different outfits.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“You really can’t come with us?”Looking into Plan’s disappointed eyes made Mean seriously reconsider his options. Maybe he could afford to skip classes again… maybe he could convince the agency to go with a less elaborate look for his photo shoot, so he didn’t need as much preparation.Plan sat on the workbench in Mean’s workshop, Mean was standing in front of him, and they were holding each other in a loose hug and the promise of more kisses.When they had first entered the workshop, they could barely keep their lips apart from each other, but unfortunately, they couldn’t afford to use their time truly efficiently – without talking.Before Mean had even had a chance to ask all the questions he had, Plan had started to try and convince him to join the shopping trip.“Please?”These innocently pleading eyes would surely one day be the death of him.Damn… what should he do now? It was risky being seen with Plan alone, even with Tio around, before the feature ran, he couldn’t miss more classes, the photo shoot was important… too much spoke against it.“Another time…” he said with a heavy sigh, lowering his head, “I hope there’ll be another time.”“I’m sure there will be.”He slowly looked up at Plan again and was caught off guard by the gentle smile that greeted him.“I hope so, too.”“It’s not just hope. We’ll make sure, won’t we?”Finally, he had an opening to ask the question that had been burning inside of him since breakfast.“You are so much more confident today. What happened?”“Oh just… you know… I thought it through last night. And I made up my mind. Now, it’s all clear to me.”It wasn’t much of an explanation – if it was clear to him… could he… tell him? Maybe?To Mean, not much was clear at the moment.“I hope this doesn’t alarm you too much, but…”Mean shivered when Plan ran his hand through his hair, softly caressing his head. If he didn’t control himself, he might want more than kisses soon.“I have come to the conclusion that I want to stay here,” Plan continued, still holding him close, “I want to become a real physicist, not just a farmer who dabbles in physics and I want to be a good member of White Hand from now on. And this also means…”The pause seemed to drag on forever.Mean was entranced by the affectionate way Plan now looked at him.“You’re stuck with me. Because I can’t do all of this without you.”It took a moment for Mean to feel the weight of these words. The myriads of ways this could go wrong. They had gone on one date, if you wanted to count the Planetarium, as Mean did. They had started their relationship not even two days ago.This was crazy.But… Mean barely needed to think it through himself – Plan had clearly done the maths…The situation didn’t allow for anything else. Either Plan was confident like that – or he might suddenly revert back to trying to escape and return to the rice paddies.Maybe… maybe that was what Mean himself needed, too.He had avoided the mere possibility of dating another guy, because he had feared the many unknowns, the risks it involved. Knowing that Plan had a very strong motivation to stay with him, was incredibly reassuring. He could count on him sticking with him, even if things got difficult.“That’s good. Because you’re stuck with me, too.”Plan suddenly laughed.“Then make sure you look handsome in your photo shoot this afternoon,” he said, shaking his head, “if our relationship is ever exposed, people will look back at this video and look for clues. So… they should have something to look at.”Mean allowed him to push him back slightly, so he could jump down from the workbench, but he held him back when he tried to turn towards the door.“Are you saying you’re only dating me because of my looks?”“No. But your parents aren’t wrong either, it’s certainly an asset.”Shaking his head, Mean leaned in one last time for this morning.“You better make sure to follow Tio’s advice, then… he knows my taste. And if I make an effort, you should look handsome for me, too.”*~*~*“I’m so excited to present you to my son,” auntie housekeeper said to Plan, while they were waiting in the courtyard for the car to arrive.Plan nodded politely and was reminded again how difficult this entire thing would inevitably become. He had already met Tio, but had to pretend like they had never seen each other before, if he didn’t want people to find out about the Planetarium date.Sure, this particular problem would disappear, once he was officially presented to him – but situations like this were bound to come up again and again. Plan was annoyed at the mere idea of how much attention and memory it would use to keep all the double stories straight in his mind and knowing who had to believe what.But it was still all worth it. For physics. For Mean.The alternatives would be worse – going back to the village, wondering what could have been, or getting outed and thrust into the merciless spotlight, with a panicked Mean, while Plan would get caught up in the most amateurish traps jealous people and haters would lay out for them.So… Dating in secret, remembering all the various stories in his head, going on a shopping trip with Tio… everything… it was better than the alternative and that was what gave him strength and energy.Plus, he was determined to have as much fun with it as possible.Seeing the fun in hard inevitable situations was what had gotten him through strenuous hours on the rice paddies or in the school director’s garden. It was better to admire the beautiful flowers in the garden while you worked, or trying to figure out the rules that created the unpredictable regularities in the waves the wind created as it blew over the growing rice plants, rather than focussing on the pain in your back and the burning heat in your face.If he needed to go through a ridiculous home story and be paraded around by Mean’s family like that, he was determined to give them a show to remember. Well… maybe not memorable to the extent they wanted more of him.Having this in mind, he greeted Tio respectfully like he had never seen him before, listened to auntie praise her son and answered the same questions about agriculture he had already answered to Tio once, for appearance’s sake.Then, they could finally drive off.Auntie had insisted on giving Tio a credit card connected to a limited family account, so he could pay for everything.“But make sure to get more than just what you need for today,” she advised Plan, “your dishevelled country-bumpkin look might have been enough for you as long as you were just a promising physics student. But now you are representing the generosity of the Attachitsataporn family. Remember that.”Hearing this alone made Plan have doubts on the future of his relationship with Mean. He liked him very much, he needed him, he wanted him… but if he was already representing the family just by living here – how much worse would it get if there was even a rumour of them dating?That was… assuming that Joule had been right in her assessment and the family would accept him as their son’s boyfriend.“Make sure to be back by two o’clock latest, he needs to get hair and make-up done by Mean’s agency first.”“Make-up?!”“Don’t get fussy on me now, dear boy, in show biz, everyone wears make-up. And by show biz I mean everyone stepping in front of a camera. Didn’t they do that for your previous interviews?”Plan shook his head.He didn’t mind per se, it was just… a lot.“Come on, let’s go, we have a lot of ground to cover.”With these words, Tio opened the passenger door for him in the car, waved at his mother and got in on the driver’s side.Plan breathed through loudly when they finally drove out through the gate and towards the shopping mall.“Are you okay?” Tio asked sympathetically.Forcing himself to remember the reasons he was doing this, and his resolve to have as much fun as possible with the absurdity of the situation, Plan smiled.“Yeah, don’t worry.”Now he wished he had asked Mean about Tio more – what their relationship was, what he knew. Tio had been with them at the Planetarium, which probably meant that he was close to Mean, but then… better safe than sorry.Luckily, Plan remembered that he already had Mean’s number in his phone – it was still saved under “stranger” – so he could just send him a message and hope he answered.The reply came immediately, almost as if Mean had been waiting for his message.
You can trust him.
“That was Mean, wasn’t it?”Tio nodded at the phone, while keeping his eyes on the traffic.“Yes, he said I can trust you.”Plan had expected a lot of reactions, but not that Tio would laugh heartily.“I would be offended if he said you couldn’t. I’ve been the one making sure he doesn’t get hit by scandals for years.”Now this was… interesting. And scary. What was this world he had stepped into?“Would he… have had many scandals?”Plan tried to ask it as neutrally as possible. He didn’t know what he would do if the answer was yes… realistically, just because Mean had been nice to him and kept all his promises… didn’t mean anything.Tio laughed again.“Don’t worry. Apart from crooks and arseholes – Mean is neither – most celebrities only get into scandals because they have lost some kind of power play or were careless. And Meanie… he is a bit too careless sometimes. So… I need to make sure it doesn’t hurt him. Or Viola does it for me, she’s the true pro when it comes to these things. I’m just doing it because I was born into this.”“How can you be born into this?”With a shrug, Tio explained to Plan how the relationships between rich families and their important servant families often intertwined.“But I want to follow my own dream,” he concluded, “that’s why I’m studying agriculture. I want to have my own organic farm, with tourism and conservation activities attached to it. But before I can get there, I need to make sure Mean is in good hands. So… I’m rooting for you. Though, to be frank: I don’t envy you. I couldn’t do what you do. I would never date someone from this social class.”Plan gulped.Wasn’t that a cheerful thought? If even a person like Tio, who had basically grown up alongside Mean, wouldn’t attempt what he was trying to do now… what chance did he have?“Why?”“Oh… I’m sorry, I made it sound like I think you will fail, didn’t I? You’re taking on something big, but I also think you should try. You’ve crossed the biggest hurdle already – before he met you, I didn’t think Mean would ever be brave enough to date someone. It’s the one area where he has never been careless. You’re a good influence on him. I’m glad he’s with you, and not with someone else.”It... Plan racked his brain to find what was off with that statement, something… ah!“Why are you assuming he’s with me?”Tio smiled.“It’s obvious from where I stand.”Plan frowned.
Obvious?
That didn’t bode well, did it?“Relax, I am in a different position than most people. I was with you at the Planetarium, remember? I found you sleeping cuddled up to each other then. Meanie has been smitten with you… and now here you are. If I’m not completely wrong about you, I don’t think you would have agreed to move into the main house if you didn’t have a really compelling reason.”“You mean… others won’t find out? It’s kind of important.”Tio smiled.“Not on my watch. If that’s what the two of you want.”They reached the parking lot of the mall. Tio drove the car to a special section, guarded by security and apparently only accessible with a VIP pass – one that the Attachitsataporn family obviously had.“Hurry up now, Plan, we don’t have much time.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mean looked up in a routine modelling pose and suddenly froze.Instead of the photographer in front of him, his eyes landed on Plan walking along the garden path, surrounded by the production crew of the tv show that were filming his home story. It was like that night at Gravity all over again, when he had noticed the barkeeper and he couldn’t help but stare at him.Plan looked… different. And, Mean’s mind didn’t… compute.They had joked about looking handsome for each other in the morning, after their little make-out session in the workshop, but… Mean hadn’t been prepared for Plan to take it this seriously.Damn, what was he doing, looking hot like this?It was hard to pinpoint the changes to specific features, Plan simply appeared transformed.Or, maybe that wasn’t entirely true, either. He still looked like himself, like the physics genius everyone was hyping him up to be, just polished up and confident.The old, oversized glasses had been replaced by more delicate round metal frames, he had gotten a more fashionable haircut – the professional styling and make-up did much to highlight his features as well – but despite still looking his cute self, he also had a more mature air about him.Maybe it was his new suit… it was actually fitted to him properly, not like the ill-fitting white shirts he usually wore. Or, it might simply be due to his new aura after the decision he had taken last night, that he wanted to stay here and embrace the story.There was still a slightly aloof air about him, though, like he was trying to keep the cameras at a distance – unlike when he was behind the bar at Gravity, where he had been smiling and chatting with customers all evening.“Can we take a small break?”Mean got out of his modelling mindset as soon as the photographer had nodded and lowered the camera.The TV team finally noticed them, and waved him over.“Young Master Mean,” the head producer greeted him respectfully, smiling at him. They had worked together many times before, whenever Mean’s family had wanted to feature on TV, “hard working as well, I see. Are you interested in appearing in our segment as well?”Mean glanced at Plan, who gave him a small, well concealed nod.“Of course, I’d be happy to. What is your angle?”*~*~*Lying on his rollout mat on the floor of his room, Plan was watching the home story on his phone.The part of him that wasn’t anxious about the story itself was actually impressed that they had managed to wrap up filming in the late afternoon, and then edit everything to include it in their society news show at ten o’clock.It didn’t turn out half bad, he had to admit.They had followed the narrative he had chosen, about a humble country boy being unexpectedly thrown into high society in the big city. They had succeeded in making him look sympathetic: equally down to earth, smart, and handsome.He particularly liked the passage where they showed him planting flowers and vegetables in the garden patch that had come with the patio outside of his room. He had wanted to do this anyway, and it was a nice backdrop for him to talk about his origin. He might have given up trying to return to his village, but that decision hadn’t taken the farmer and gardener out of him.The parts where they tried to show him doing physics were rather cringy in comparison.At first, they had wanted to film him at the workshop doing some kind of crazy professor experiments – but he really wasn’t the applied physics type of guy and he had insisted that they found something else.So, they had talked him into writing formulas onto his bathroom mirror and the windows of the door leading out onto the patio.It was silly.Just because that one Hollywood movie from like fifteen years ago had shown a mathematical genius writing on windows, didn’t mean real people actually did that. But well… better this than making a fool of himself tinkering with electronic parts in Mean’s workshop. Plan had done his share of repairing household appliances, and radio and TV sets at the village, but he was nowhere near the level Mean was at. He might not care too much about his public image in general, but when it came to physics, he had enough pride to want to look decent at least.He hadn’t bothered erasing the formulas from the windows, yet. Cringy as it had appeared when he was writing them in the TV segment – the result was actually quite decorative.It made the room feel less suffocating and impersonal to him.Finally, there were the parts of the feature that had shown him with Mean.His boyfriend had of course looked stunningly handsome as ever. He had been funny and charming, filling out every scene he was in with his presence. Plan had liked it – if all the attention was on Mean, he could disappear into his shadow. Maybe it would make people forget about him and he could focus on physics again.He was a researcher, not a visual.Though he had to admit that the stylists had done a good job on him. He didn’t look so out of place at Mean’s side as he had feared before they had gotten together.In the feature, Mean had also smiled and asked if he really needed to explain why he had recruited such an exceptional genius into White Hand.Even under his own critical gaze, Plan thought that they had played their role as slightly awkward new friends convincingly. You needed to know about their status to notice the subtle changes in their smiles when they looked at each other or the small, inconspicuous touches on each other’s arms or backs as they talked. Mean had even had the presence of mind to tell to the camera that Plan had agreed to tutoring him in statistics this semester – thus giving them a legitimate reason to spend time together at home.Even better: nobody knew Mean didn’t need tutoring.Mean’s mum had also made a surprise appearance in the end, explaining why they had decided to support Plan in his studies and letting him live at their house. Surprisingly, she had stuck close to the truth: that Plan was friends with a maid working at their household and had asked her for help finding an appropriate accommodation – and that the Attachitsataporn family had been happy to give him a room in the house upon finding out he was the mysterious beneficiary of UdG’s special genius scholarship.Since the production team had also talked to the maid who was friends with Birk and Ellie, they had created the impression – inadvertently or as a narrative choice – that there might be more between Plan and her.It might get awkward with her later, if she actually had a thing for him – but it also established a strong implied reason for Plan to stay with Mean’s family that didn’t focus on Mean himself. As long as it didn’t become public knowledge that they were both gay, Plan assumed that the danger of people shipping them together was… hopefully not that big.Despite the home story delivering on its promise, though, Plan was feeling grumpy.Mean had another spontaneous schedule this evening, some kind of award show, if Plan remembered correctly. He hadn’t returned home, yet, it was getting late – and they hadn’t had any opportunity to spend meaningful time together, without camera teams and prying eyes, since their short escape to Mean’s workshop in the morning.Worse, Plan’s head was spinning from the tension the constant attention all day had built up. This meant he didn’t even have enough focus left to work through another physics paper or put some serious thought into his assignment from Prof. Marsden’s research group.What was the point in going through all of this trouble, if in the end he couldn’t even spend time with his boyfriend or sink his teeth into a good physics question?Stupid schedules. Stupid limelight. Stupid genius story.He couldn’t wait for this hassle to be over.Though… looking at the wardrobe full of crazily expensive clothes he now owned, maybe it was optimistic to believe it would ever be over. There were suits in there that were more expensive than his grandparents made in an entire year, sponsored by Mean’s family.He shook his head.
Crazy.
But despite what Tio had said this morning, about how difficult it was for someone like him to date someone like Mean – at the moment, Plan still didn’t regret it.Mean better got home… soon… like now, though.Plan opened the photo sharing app the TV production team had insisted he made an account for and tried to see if Mean had posted something from the event he was at, at least.Instead, he was flooded with notifications of dozens of new followers, who had all liked the two pictures he had posted: of the seedlings on his garden patch and of him, with a pen, writing formulas on the window.That last one had been the TV team’s doing.He shouldn’t have started reading the comments... it was nauseating.
OMG you’re so cute and smart!
Genius!
Do you have a girlfriend?
Silly! Didn’t you watch the program? He’s White Hand! They don’t date and tell. Are you even a true fan?
Fan.Why would anyone want to be his fan? He was a researcher in theoretical physics, not an idol or a celebrity.When did researchers start to have fans?
Girls! Guys! Inbetweens! I just found out he works as a bartender at Gravity! Woah, so hot and dedicated.
Did they... realise he could read their comments?He was debating with himself whether he wanted to delete that last one. He wasn’t particularly keen on people showing up at his work... but if he deleted it, he might just draw more attention to it with those who had seen it.Ah... why wasn’t Mean back, yet? Mean would know what to do – or bug him until he allowed him to ask someone for advice who did know. Viola… or Tio, maybe.Plan was tired, he wanted to sleep, but he was also too wound up to just close his eyes as long as he hadn’t heard Mean’s voice in the hallway outside.He didn’t want it to be like this. Couldn’t he just go back to being as he was before? Just a farmer who got mistaken for a physics genius, prepared to return to the rice paddies at any time… it had been less unnerving. Maybe a bit sad, but damn.There was no way back.He had thought it through yesterday. As unsettling as it was, this was his life now.He better got used to it.Bored and annoyed, he snapped a selfie of himself lying on his pillow, making a face and captioned it with “can’t sleep” on the photo app.He regretted it as soon as the comment notifications of his newly acquired fans started to pour in.*~*~*“Stop staring at your phone, people will notice,” Viola hissed at Mean.They were sitting next to each other at a round table in a big venue at some kind of music award show Mean’s agency had sent him to. It had been a spontaneous schedule for him that they had insisted he couldn’t miss – some bigshot guests had cancelled their appearance last minute, and the organisers of the event had booked Mean ostensibly for his upcoming music release, but really… he was just a visual. Mean didn’t have any illusions, as long as the agency didn’t release his first single, nobody would associate him with music – and the agency was really not in any kind of hurry to let him move on from modelling jobs.Since the guest that had cancelled had had a plus one, Mean had called Viola to come with him. She usually accompanied him to these kinds of events, and right know, rumours about them together were not at all unwelcome.“Shhh, I’m featured in the home story, I only want to make sure they don’t misrepresent me.”“Sure.”Disgruntled, and before the cameras could zoom in on them, Mean put the phone away. He would have to watch the rest of the clip on the way home.Why were they even here?The agency had told him he could use the event to network with people from the music business, maybe even give out a few of his demos or pitching songs he had composed himself. But so far, all he had done was walk the red carpet, smiling at cameras, joking with Viola for TV cameras, and then he had been seated at this table with other young hopefuls, a few interns from small news websites, and no proximity to anyone worth knowing.The wannabe reporters at their table were particularly annoying him, they didn’t even hide their stares. One girl in particular seemed very interested in him… and he thought she looked familiar, kind of exotic… she was probably not purely Thai, maybe part European?But where had he seen that face before?It was probably nothing.He was the most high-profile guest at their table… maybe Viola hadn’t been wrong in reminding him to stay on his best behaviour and that girl reporter had just picked up on that. Or she was a fan.For a while, he tried hard to focus on the award presentations, smiling and clapping at the appropriate moments, but he really didn’t want to be here, and he soon had his phone in his hands under the table again, scrolling through the photo app...
Shit.
Plan had posted a selfie from his bed and Mean was... not okay. It looked cute and innocently hot at the same time and he wanted to go home and be there with him... and he wanted to strangle all the people in the comments who expressed the same desire.Would it be suspicious if he liked the picture?“What are you doing?!”Viola’s words tore him out of his thoughts.His finger must have slipped. He had liked the picture.Viola’s exasperated gaze was something else, while she slowly took out her phone, got onto the photo app, found Plan’s profile and made a comment underneath it, telling him to turn off the lights and put away the phone if he wanted to sleep.“Now you’re safe to comment.”He replied to her comment immediately, agreeing with her sentiment – and noticed that just a few comments above him, Win had also told Plan to put away the phone already, or people would worry about him.Why would Win… it wasn’t… he shouldn’t…“Don’t even think about it,” Viola said.With a sigh, Mean prepared to put away the phone. Before he actually did it, however, he decided that he could post selfies as well.Viola didn’t even protest when he pulled her in for a picture together – maybe because fuelling the rumours about the two of them was more to her taste now, after he had interacted with Plan’s post before.Stay tuned for my first single… soon! He wrote as a caption.He wondered whether Plan would see it.“If you continue to act like this, I give you one week, max, before people start shipping you together.”Mean shook his head.It wouldn’t happen. They would be careful.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“I think it’s better if you stop working here.”The voice of his boss at Gravity still rang in this ear, even after Plan had disconnected the call. He shoved the phone back into his pocket and hurried over to excuse himself from the coffee break his colleagues at the research group were taking.He needed to go out for a breath of fresh air and time to process this turn of events.He should have anticipated it… losing his bartender job shouldn’t sting so much.But it did.He should have been more wary when things had suddenly been going smoothly for a while:The home story had satisfied the immediate curiosity most people had had about him. The exclusivity deal had made sure that no other Thai media could get through and foreign media had simply recycled the home story. For everyone else, there was Plan’s feed on the photo sharing app.The production team might have talked him into making the profile, but Plan had soon gotten addicted to using it himself, posting pictures of his day into the void and hearing the void talk back. He liked that. It was a way of being in the limelight that he had some measure of control over, even if Mean’s sister Joule had started to bug him about becoming an influencer and appearing on her pictures to create buzz.So far, also thanks to her brother, she had respected it when he had politely declined each time.The days at UdG were more agreeable now, too, since he was officially a member of White Hand and people were treating him with a kind of reverence and respect he had never had before, while he was just a grumpy loner and an unlikely genius.But mostly, things had been fine because of Mean.They had been able to spend their evenings together whenever they were free – thanks to the pretext of Plan explaining statistics to Mean.They had both agreed not to rush things. There had been enough changes in both of their lives to adjust to, there was no need to add more.Instead, they had finally gotten to know each other for real. They had found out that they both loved to watch food documentaries and old science fiction movies and TV series. They had even gotten into a heated debate on whether a warp engine could eventually be built, since there had been a few papers showing that it might be possible to achieve faster-than-light speed for spaceships without violating general relativity. The idea of such an engine had made Mean excited, almost as if he imagined himself actually building it one day, whereas Plan had argued that this was just a useful way to frame strictly theoretical discussions on the limits and the possibilities of the current theoretical framework.Despite not really coming to an agreement, the discussion had been fun, and it had ended with one of them shutting the other up mid-argument with a kiss that had devolved into an intense make-out session – though afterwards, they also couldn’t agree on who had stopped whom and who was allowed to tease the other for it.It was still sometimes hard for Plan to merge the two versions he had gotten to know of his boyfriend together into a somewhat coherent image: the silly public persona that his parents always loved to encourage, and the brainy private person that not even the other members of White Hand really knew about.What made it difficult was the fact that both versions were clearly real and Plan couldn’t decide which facet he liked better.Mean wasn’t putting up much of an act to appear silly and frivolous – in many situations, he just was like that. For example, two days ago, he had spontaneously dragged all of White Hand to an invite-only concert of jazz pianist Herbie Hancock he had somehow gotten access to, just because Hancock was the original composer of Cantaloupe Island and that song obviously had a special meaning to him now. Win had complained how boring it was both on the way there and back, Viola had raised her eyebrows and said nothing, Rose had smiled in public and laughed in private as usual, and Plan had oscillated between feeling like he was happily floating all the time and being a nervous wreck for doing something so bold.And Mean… he had been adorably oblivious the entire time, and more than once, he had smiled so openly at Plan that if anyone had been watching them, they could have easily come to the right conclusion.At the same time, the guy who loved to discuss the possibility of faster-than-light technologies was clearly also genuinely Mean. They had found each other because they both saw the connection between music and mathematics, so this was clearly not just something Mean was doing to impress his boyfriend. Rather, it felt like something he hadn’t known he had missed until they had started spending serious time together. Plan had even joked that he wasn’t just a closeted gay, he was also a closeted nerd. And, that if the fans obsessing over Mean’s modelling and upcoming music career knew about this side of him, they wouldn’t gush quite as much.Though... maybe he was underestimating the fans. After all… fans were the reason Plan had just lost his job at Gravity.With a sigh, he sat down on a bench in the shade of a group of trees by the pond.Ever since the home story had aired, there had been a few people turning up at Gravity to buy drinks from him when he worked there, get his autograph for whatever reason – and more than one girl had confessed that she was attracted to him because she was “sapiosexual”. That was some kind of silly new fad, straight girls proudly proclaiming they liked brainy guys and since Plan had been shown writing mathematical formulas on a window on TV, he apparently was the dream boy of many of these girls.It made him uncomfortable. He had gotten into an argument with Viola after the first evening back at work. He had wanted to come out as gay at least, so these girls stopped getting their hopes up – and she had cautioned him against it so much that he had finally relented. She had convinced him that he probably underestimated the allure he would have to both gay guys and a different type of fangirls if he came out. He couldn’t really argue with her about that, she probably knew better.But up until today, the occasional fans recognising him or seeking him out hadn’t been a problem at Gravity – it had rather been good business for the boss.However, the information of his place of work had apparently made the rounds on the internet since his last shift behind the bar, and people were lining up at the entrance of Gravity already before lunchtime, just to get a chance to meet him.If he continued to work there, his might drive the regular customers away, and the boss didn’t believe the ones coming for him would make up for that loss on the long term. So… apparently, the boss wanted him to go there one last time today, be nice to the people waiting, and then… find another job.He didn’t really need a job anymore.After he had taken the decision to stay here and embrace the opportunities he now had, he had started to understand the meaning of the scholarship better. It had certainly not hurt that Mean had explained it to him as well on one of their evenings together: that the sponsors were expecting him to use the money to further his studies and to live comfortably while doing so. That he could get in trouble if he saved the money instead of using it for its intended purpose.Still… losing the job at Gravity meant giving up one more element that was reminding him of his real situation: that he was still a poor boy from a backwater farming village. Worse, he was now a poor person who was entirely living off of other people’s money.“Plan?”Plan flinched and turned his head to look at Win standing next to the bench.He was in full jogging gear, the left plug of his headset still in his ear. By the looks of it he was using a free period between lessons to work on his endurance – Plan was secretly relieved to see that he had probably not come looking for him and that this was a chance meeting.“Hi Win, how’s the training going?”Since they had both joined White Hand, they had stopped meeting for coffee on their own. Plan was still not entirely sure where things were between them. He felt bad not telling Win about his relationship with Mean – but Win also seemed so absorbed with his own rapidly developing opportunities that he hadn’t really seemed to care too much about anything else.“Can’t complain,” Win said and sat down next to him uninvited, “but what are you doing here? You look gloomy.”“Just… Coffee break.”“I don’t see any coffee.”Plan rolled his eyes.“It’s a figure of speech, Win.”He didn’t even know why he was snapping at him now. The situation must have gotten to him more than he had thought – or maybe it was just that despite the good run he had had so far, he wasn’t used to having to stay mindful of what he did and how he did it in public, because there were always eyes on him, watching, waiting.“You can talk to me, you know.”Sometimes… Plan hated that his ex was such a nice person.There weren’t any feelings for Win left on his part. The more time he spent together with Mean, the more clearly Plan saw the difference between what he had had with Win and what he had now. Win had been his friend first, his nice and attractive friend, true, but in the end… maybe it had never been more than friendship for him, and their sweet little romance had just been an experiment with a predictable ending.But for Win… Plan suspected things had been different… and maybe they still were. If Win were a bad or annoying person, Plan could at least partly justify being cold or harsh towards him. But he wasn’t… he was just nice and friendly while trying to wriggle his way back into his life, claiming that friendship was enough for him if romance was off the table.Plan didn’t trust these words.“It’s nothing. I just needed some air.”“Come on, Plan, I know you. You’re brooding over something. What happened?”Without turning his head or looking up from the water lily he had been staring at, Plan tried to get Win to leave:“How is your training going? Have they decided on the Olympics team, yet?”“We’re not talking about me, now. Don’t distract. You’re clearly upset. Should I beat someone up?”Now, this was exactly why he and Win would never have worked as a couple in the long run. Win just couldn’t get a hint.“Why can’t we talk about you? I’m sure it’s more interesting than me.”This gave Win a bit of a pause– but unfortunately not enough for him to back down. Win usually loved talking about himself, but apparently only if he couldn’t talk about Plan instead. Or something.Whatever it was, couldn’t he just… was it too much to ask to be left alone?“Come on, Plan. You’re clearly upset about something. You can trust me… like you used to.”Plan was tempted to leave instead, before Win could follow.*~*~*Mean was walking idly along the path around the pond, humming new melodies to himself.Life was good at the moment, wasn’t it?His music career was starting to take off, his management would announce his debut by the end of the month, people hadn’t been criticising him for being a bad leader of White Hand for days, and most importantly, he had a boyfriend and they were happy together.Maybe that last thought had cursed him, though… because just as he looked around himself again for inspiration to continue the tune in his head, he spotted said boyfriend sitting on a bench by the pond.Next to his ex.What were they doing? Sneaking off to a romantic spot under lush trees by the water together?It…He…It was as if someone had slapped him and poured a bucket of icy water over his head.This couldn’t be true.Plan had been careful to keep Win at a distance all the time. Mean knew Win had wanted him back, but Plan… he wouldn’t… not with Win.Not like this.Mean was about to turn around and run off, disappointed and jealous, when his rational brain finally decided to show up.He paused mid-movement and slowly turned his head back to look at Plan and Win again.They weren’t sitting close together, he thought.And in fact… it looked like Plan was all tensed up and uncomfortable, just about ready to leave…Instead of running off, Mean should better go over and greet them. Show them he had seen them, if nothing else.Without much ceremony, he let himself drop onto the bench between them as soon as he reached it and even before saying hello.Plan’s grateful nod and the sudden spark in his eyes did much to calm his jealous heart. Thank the heavens he had decided to come here rather than run off and leave Plan to deal with whatever this was alone.He nonchalantly laid his arms over the two other boys’ shoulders.“What are you two doing here?” he said much more cheerfully than he felt inside.Acting.He was in the entertainment business. He was good at what he did. Thankfully.“Hi Mean!”Win was still adorably enthusiastic about seeing him, as if part of him continued to be a bit star struck about White Hand, despite having joined their club himself just ahead of Plan. Mean certainly didn’t discourage him. Win was cute when he was acting like that – cuter than when he was chasing after Plan anyway.“I was just passing through on my jogging round and found Plan sitting here. Maybe you can find out what he’s upset about.”Plan… was upset about something?Mean quickly glanced at his boyfriend.He did look a bit upset, but Mean wouldn’t be able to tell if it was just because Win was here. In any case, he remembered that Plan usually preferred to talk about personal stuff on his own terms. In his experience, there was no point in pushing him, he would come on his own if you left him an opening.“Maybe Plan doesn’t want to talk about it?”“Maybe Plan has ears and a mouth,” Plan said dryly.Mean silently mouthed “I’m sorry” in his direction. Luckily, Plan appeared more amused than angry.“Ah, isn’t this nice,” Mean said and happily stretched his legs, “just the three of us here in the shade, no scheming girls, boys of White Hand represent! Ah, if only I had taken my lunch box with me, we could make a picnic, it’s almost time for an early meal.”“I should continue my run…”Win attempted to stand up and get going, but Mean held him back with a smile.“Nonsense, I only just got here!”He didn’t even know why he was trying to keep Win here. Being alone with Plan would be better, Plan might even tell him what was really going on… but being alone with Plan would also be playing with fire, and Win… it might be a good idea to find out what Win was up to.“Like I said, I was just checking on Plan when I found him sitting here, this isn’t…”“Why don’t you wait here for me while I go get some food and drinks for a picnic,” Mean said, not wanting to continue that discussion.It would be stupid to leave Win and Plan alone, but he reckoned he wouldn’t be away for long and he had set his mind on that picnic now, he would make it happen.Win jumped up for real now and Mean didn’t stop him.“Okay, I’m coming with you, then.”Mean grinned.That was even better. That was… actually ideal.If Win had been bothering Plan and he had wanted to be alone, Mean drawing him away was… accidentally perfect.Funny. That.Viola would be proud of him, thinking he had done it on purpose.“Let’s go, I know an Indian restaurant that has great takeout lunch. We’ll be back soon, Plan.”That restaurant was actually at the other end of the campus, and even if they walked fast, they would be gone for a while.“You and Plan seem to get along well recently,” Win commented when they were out of Plan’s earshot.They were both walking briskly and Mean needed to make an effort to keep up with the sportsman, a fact his ego couldn’t readily admit to.Was Win onto something?“Does it surprise you? He’s been living at my house, it would be bad if we didn’t get along.”This gave Win a pause and Mean was wondering what he had expected instead.They were walking alongside each other in silence, Mean slowly losing his breath because Win was still going fast, until Win suddenly slowed down and turned to look at him again.“Give it to me straight… or not, I suppose… do you like him?”“Whom?”Win sighed.“Come on, don’t play coy. We both know… are you interested in him?”“What’s it to you?”Win came to a halt and Mean nearly bumped into him. At least it gave him time to catch his breath.“I’m warning you. Don’t play with him, he’s...”His voice trailed off, as if he couldn’t decide what exactly Plan was that made him care.“Still my ex.”“And? He’s not allowed to move on?”With a triumphant yelp, Win jumped:“Ha! You admit it, then? You are interested.”This was getting ridiculous. Honestly. Why were they even having this conversation… it was…“When?”“You want him to move on to you, don’t you?” Win narrowed his eyes to something resembling a glare.“Such stories you weave. Is this a new career? Romance writer? If sports don’t work out for you?”Mean tried to push past Win, already annoyed by the conversation, but the other boy decidedly blocked his way. What stupid idea had it been to invite a sportsperson… and his boyfriend’s ex… to White Hand?“You misunderstand me. If he really doesn’t want me back, I accept his choice. I’m not some pathetic fool who runs after a guy who doesn’t want me anymore.”“Then it is none of your business whether I like him, is it?”“Fine, be like that.”Win stepped aside and they continued to walk towards the Indian restaurant. It was obvious that Win was sulking, but Mean didn’t care. He didn’t even know why he couldn’t just admit to liking Plan, he wouldn’t even have to tell him about their relationship, it was just…Could that idiot slow down? Why did he have to rush like that?Mean was out of breath by the time they reached the restaurant. At least he could relax a bit while they were waiting for the food to get ready. The air between them remained charged, however, and Mean found it harder and harder to bear.“Fine, you win,” he said and took a deep breath, “you’re right. I like him. There. I said it. Happy now?”“Ha! I knew it!”It was difficult to figure out what Win was thinking exactly. He was smiling at him now – but it was the kind of smile that could hide anything from embarrassment to jealousy to serious heartbreak… or it could just be neutral. If Win could keep this up, he wouldn’t have to worry about his career in business.“Does he know?”“Now that’s really none of your business.”“I can help you…” Win offered, “we’re still friends. He’s a bit oblivious sometimes, but I’m sure I could put in a good word. He’s precious, you know. I would probably not have been able to provide him with the opportunities he deserves… but you can. The idiot is just too modest to ask for it…”Mean had to hide his smile. This was funny… up to now, Plan had always been the one to make the first move in their relationship: he had confessed first, he had kissed him first, he had even met his parents to make it easier for them – but Win seemed to think Plan was awkward and shy and would never do any of these things on his own.How could Win be Plan’s ex if he clearly misunderstood him like that? Or had Plan changed this much since he came here?“I’m okay,” Mean said cryptically, “thanks, though… I wouldn’t want to compete with you.”Win blushed.For a fraction of a second Mean wondered whether he might have misjudged and Win was actually having a crush on him that he couldn’t voice, because he had just told him about his interest in Plan.“As if I could compete with you.”“Don’t sell yourself short…”“I don’t. That’s just a fact.”Luckily, they were interrupted by their order being ready, and Mean had time to think about it while they started to make their way back to the picnic spot, where Plan was hopefully waiting for them.“I’m sure you find someone suitable for you…”“I have to make it to the Olympics first… I honestly don’t know why you invited me to White Hand other than as a way to get close to Plan.”That was what had been bothering him? For real?“Nonsense.”“You just admitted that you like him.”“That has nothing to do with inviting you. Or are you saying I’m as bad a leader as everyone makes me out to be?”It was a pity. Just now, Mean had started to think they were getting along, and now this.“No, of course not! I mean… I just…”“You have to be careful what you say, Win.”With a heartfelt sigh, Win stopped on his track again.“I’m sorry, Mean. I didn’t want to imply… I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Actually… why did you invite me?”“Even if you don’t make the Olympics team… you’re bold and ambitious. You have drive, we appreciate this. I think if you work with someone on your pitch, you can get funding for your business soon and take off. We’ve watched the freshmen coming in. Nobody else stood out. It’s possible that I might not have noticed you if we hadn’t met that night you were looking for Plan – but that doesn’t mean I was recruiting you for him.”Upon hearing this, Win relaxed visibly. Had he been this self-conscious about his invitation? That was strange. Mean had thought Win was confident enough to see his own merit. He had been so proud and enthusiastic from the start.The more you knew…“Thanks…” he said, and quietly added: “do you really think my business can make it?”Mean laughed.“I’m the wrong guy to ask this, my family doesn’t want me to get into business. But if you want advice, I can introduce you to my oldest sister, she’s taking over the family business. Or my brother… or maybe just ask Viola. Or her brother…”Win held up his hands.“I get it, I get it, you have contacts…” he smiled, and added: “I might hold you to that.”“Of course! We’re friends, aren’t we?”The change was palpable. Win not only smiled now, he also slowed down his pace to walk more comfortably alongside Mean.“I’m sorry that I complained about that jazz concert the other day. I was just ignorant.”Mean chuckled and pulled Win closer to him in a friendly manner.“Don’t worry, I’ll probably complain when we’ll have to attend your badminton matches.”“Oh? You don’t have to attend…”“Nonsense, you’re White Hand now. We support each other. If there’s an important match, we’ll all be there.”When they reached the pond, Plan was still sitting on the bench quietly staring at the water lilies, just as they had left him. Despite his resolve not to pressure Plan into talking about it, Mean would really like to know what it was about.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mean glared.He couldn’t help it. As much as he wanted to remind himself that he should keep himself together, he couldn’t do it.The lights at Gravity were thankfully dim and the club was still full with Plan’s surprising hordes of fans – surprising for Plan. Mean could have told him this would happen if he kept using that photo app the way he did, while being a member of White Hand – but Plan wouldn’t have believed him, anyway.As much as his boyfriend claimed to have accepted that he was here now, as much as he had actually embraced the opportunities his scholarship afforded him – deep down, Plan still seemed to think that he didn’t really deserve all the buzz around him.But Mean wasn’t glaring because of the fans – he could deal with them; he had a fair share of dedicated followers himself and most of them were respectful and sweet to him, and were much too timid to make a move.No, after signing autographs and posing for pictures for more than two hours, Plan had decided to retire to the safety of the VIP area – but so far, he hadn’t made it to the White Hand table, where Mean was sitting alone with Win. Plan kept getting interrupted by people who wanted to talk to him – Mean could see that he was tired – and now…He was talking to Vic.Vic.Mean remembered.Of course he remembered; how Viola’s brother had cornered him, had told him he liked boys… and that he would make a pass at Plan if Mean didn’t go for him first.What were they talking about?He wouldn’t… damn, of course Vic would.But Plan wouldn’t… would he?Why hadn’t he gotten rid of Vic already?Plan had been so good at escaping Mean, before they had gotten together, why would he still talk to Vic if he didn’t want to?Mean knew that he could just go over and join their conversation, casually, he was the leader of White Hand and Plan was a member, nothing suspicious about it… but damn, why was this so complicated?What if he ended up exposing their secret, because he just couldn’t keep it to himself anymore?Honestly, how were the girls doing it? Hiding a relationship in plain sight like that?Even now that Mean knew about them, he could rarely see any signs.Viola had already scolded him for the stunt he had pulled with the Herbie Hancock concert – somehow, she had figured out that this had a special meaning to Plan and him, and while she hadn’t said anything during the event, she had taken him aside the next day and had told him to be more discreet for heaven’s sake.She didn’t even officially know they were together.But she did.Of course.Damn, why was this sleazy guy leaning towards Plan now?Plan wouldn’t…Mean thought he knew his boyfriend well enough already to know that he wouldn’t just abandon him for someone else like that. But… he might also be the kind of person who didn’t realize someone was flirting with him.In Mean’s eyes, it was obvious.Vic was definitely flirting.“Aren’t you going to do something?”Win’s whispered words tore him out of his stupor.“About what?”Win only nodded in the direction of Plan. It was obvious that he had observed the same scene as well.Mean was still trying to make sense of the fifth member of White Hand, even more so since their conversation this morning, while they were getting lunch. Before that, he had considered Win a dangerous rival, despite Plans clear signals that he definitely didn’t want his ex back.Mean had thought that Win would continue to fight regardless, particularly since he hadn’t told him the whole truth. Win still didn’t know that it wasn’t just a one-sided crush. But Win seemed to have taken his side, now.“I meant it when I said I don’t want to compete with you,” Win said, looking serious, “I care about him. Enough to want the best for him. That’s not me, unfortunately. But if you are going to just let him get snatched up by someone else, I might...”He let his voice trail off, but Mean understood.He understood too well.What could Plan even talk about with Vic?Sure, Vic was really handsome, in a conventional way and all that, Mean had to concede that – but he was boring as shit.And sleazy.It didn’t help that Plan looked stunning again, today.All of White Hand had helped him prepare for the evening, once Plan had finally told them about the fans and getting fired from his job. Rose had applied the make-up, Mean had driven home to get a better pair of trousers for him, Viola had done his hair, and Win had stayed for moral support.Plan had ditched the glasses like he always did at Gravity. He was wearing the silver shirt that he had worn to work at Gravity up until today, but somehow, with the new haircut and properly tailored trousers, it looked even better than before.Ever since the home story and his shopping trip with Tio, Plan was making a real effort with his looks. Before, he had always worn the same set of ill-fitting clothes, he probably hadn’t owned more than that – but now… he had started to like dressing up.When Mean had asked him about it, he had shrugged and said something about wanting to keep up with him. Plan had claimed that he couldn’t just date a model and not step up his game, if the generosity of Mean’s family already provided him with so many options.Mean had been flattered, but he also suspected that this wasn’t the whole truth. It was probably just the way he justified it to himself, and he actually liked having a proper clothing choice and enjoyed looking good.But looking this handsome, Mean saw danger everywhere.When Mean still didn’t move, Win got up suddenly, and started making his way towards Plan.
Wait!
Mean probably hadn’t jumped up this fast ever… or at least in a while.He had overtaken Win quickly, and reached Plan and Vic before the badminton player. Something that gave Mean a weird kind of pride, that he had managed to outpace the sportsman, even though this was a club and it hadn’t been a race.He could only hear the end of Vic’s last sentence, before they stopped talking to look at him.“… disappeared into the crowd.”Who? Who were they talking about?“Oh, hi Mean!”Plan smiled at him so happily that Mean’s jealousy was mollified a little bit. Though he took the opportunity to make Vic move aside, so he could step in between them.“I was just on my way to you,” Plan explained, “you know Viola’s brother, don’t you?”Mean nodded darkly.He wished he didn’t know that sleazebag.“He was looking for his sister, but couldn’t find her, so he came to me instead. It seems like Black Hand is here. We should probably be alert.”For a brief moment, Mean contemplated the possibility that Vic might be the missing fifth member of their rival club – the only one who seemed to be worth anything.But as much as he didn’t like Vic since he had tried to make a move on both Plan and him, Mean saw that this wouldn’t make sense. Even if Vic had some kind of sibling rivalry going with Viola nobody knew about, White Hand was an institution supported by the five families, Vic had been a member himself, when he had attended university. He wouldn’t be stupid, or brave, enough to attack all five families at once like that.The threat had to come from somewhere else, and Mean suspected that it had something to do with him.The article had attacked him specifically, and it seemed like that strange interview with the idiot Rom had only happened after Mean had stepped up to protect Plan. He hadn’t really shared his suspicion with anyone, yet – but something told him this was personal.If they were here, it would be… dangerous indeed.He glanced sideways at Plan, who looked concerned, before he turned to Vic.“What did you see?”“Remember that kid with the unfashionable nickel-rimmed glasses? The one who got famous for claiming to be a physics genius himself?”Mean rolled his eyes.Of course he did.“What about him?”Vic nodded towards the fully packed dancefloor below them.“He’s down there, signing autographs.”“Autographs? Why?”Mean could by the life of him not think of any reason why anyone would want an autograph from that kid.Instead of an explanation, Plan reached for his phone and typed the keyword genius into a gif-searching platform and showed the result to Mean.There were several gifs at the top of the search that were clipped from the interviews the other day, the ones that had aired internationally. Half of them were switching between Plan and Rom, ridiculing Rom by calling Plan a certified genius while Rom was just labelled: I tell you I’m a genius, too.The rest was only Rom, with some variations of the overblown genius claims.Apparently, this gif was rapidly spreading as a template to make fun of people claiming to be something they clearly weren’t.But far from being humiliated or discouraged by it, Rom seemed to love his new position in the limelight and was keenly embracing the role of I really am a genius, believe me-guy.“So what? He’s on a popular gif. Why would people want his autograph?”Plan shrugged.And Vic laughed.“Come on, who wouldn’t want to have a piece of a meme? I heard he’s accepted an invitation to participate in an American comedy talk show. Plan tells me they had also asked him to come, but he declined.”Plan tells him… couldn’t Plan talk for himself?And why did Plan even mention that to him?Mean was annoyed.“So, this guy is here? What’s the problem? This is an open club. He paid the entrance fee. The bouncers let him in.”Vic took a step back.“Meanie, what’s your deal today? You can’t be that oblivious. You see the problem, don’t you? If this guy is here, then the rest of them is probably, too – and they’re here to stir up trouble. Besides… doesn’t it bug you that they are signing autographs at your darling physics genius’ event?”“I’m not a darling physics genius, I’m a researcher in training,” Plan said dryly, “and this wasn’t my event, it was just a curtesy to the people who had been waiting for half a day to get a chance to meet me while I’m still working here.”He smirked.“But other than that, I agree – we should take this seriously, Mean. Who knows what they’re really after?”Vic rolled his eyes.“That’s why I was looking for my sister.”“Oh? You’re Viola’s brother, aren’t you?”Win had finally reached them as well. He must have gotten stuck in the crowd somewhere. Mean couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about it. It was unfair, Win had been nothing but nice to him, and yet… somehow, the sportsman just pushed him to be more competitive.“And you are?”“Win, the least known member of White Hand… but I intend to change that.”The smile on Vic’s face broadened.“Ah, then I’ll be looking out for news about you, handsome.”Was… Vic flirting with just about anyone?“Focus, guys,” Mean said instead, “we were trying to figure out what to do about these Black Hand idiots.”Vic shifted nervously.“I’m telling you, let’s find my sister...”“Can’t you do anything without her?”Mean just couldn’t resist. Jealousy had made him biting and sarcastic.He didn’t like that, but he also didn’t like seeing Plan with people like Vic. That was just a fact.“Look who’s talking. Don’t pretend you don’t call her in the middle of the night for all kinds of stupid reasons.”While Mean went back to glaring at Vic, Win seemed blissfully oblivious to the angry tension between them:“The girls went to the toilet a while ago. They’ll find us more easily if we just return to our table.”Mean could never have fully innocent thoughts about these girls’ toilet trips, since he had learned about their secret.He wished he could, though.*~*~*“Why do you think he’s gay?”“Who? Plan?”Viola moved even closer to Rose, their bodies squeezed tightly together now, so she could put her ear against the door of the bathroom stall and listen to the conversation of the girls outside. Contrary to what the others might now be thinking, they didn’t go to the toilet together to do anything nasty – it was just to have a bit of privacy together… okay, and maybe a kiss or two.In a full club like this, it wasn’t very nice to block a bathroom stall longer than necessary and they had been ready to move out, when the conversation started.“Yeah, my cousin in Chiang Mai knows a guy who attended the same high school as him. And they say he only ever looked at guys when he was there.”“Ah, pity, why are the cute ones always gay?”Viola tried to peek through a crack in the stall to identify the girl who had mentioned her cousin. This wasn’t good. If there had been gay rumours about Plan in Chiang Mai – or worse, about both Plan and Win – they would have to come up with more containment strategies.It wasn’t entirely selfless of her not to want any of these rumours getting traction, let alone allowing Plan to come out like he had wanted. If one of White Hand was confirmed as gay… people might start digging and find more.She was already taking a huge risk with the way she liked to dress. People have suspected that she was a lesbian too many times to count – it didn’t help that they were right – but her high visibility due to her family, her rebellious image, and the membership in White Hand had always protected her in the end. People were simply assuming that she wouldn’t be able to hide it if she really was into girls.And the rumours that shipped her with Mean hadn’t hurt, either. If she could be pictured dating him, it wasn’t so far-fetched to imagine her with other guys, too.However, if even a tiny bit of the rainbow of White Hand was revealed to the public, her entire protective net might unravel.“Just because he supposedly only ever looked at guys doesn’t mean he’s gay. Maybe he’s just shy? We know he’s shy... that’s part of his charm.”It sounded like the girls outside wanted to continue their conversation for a bit. By all means, they should. Viola needed to find out more more.“My cousin is pretty sure. She says there were rumours about a secret boyfriend, too. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to come here. Might be someone at his village.”Viola almost sighed with relief – luckily, Rose was there to put her finger over her lips to indicate her to stay silent.It was bad that there were rumours about a secret boyfriend – but at least nothing was pointing towards Win. This would be one of the bad scenarios – not yet worst case, but close – if substantial rumours about Win and Plan surfaced.Not just because it would implicate two of their members – curse Mean for inviting both of them, honestly, though Viola had to admit she wouldn’t have known any better candidates either – it might also prompt Mean to get jealous and expose himself.It had been tough enough to hide one relationship, how was she supposed to do that with two and a half? The half being the one that had already ended, between Win and Plan.Viola wasn’t one to shy away from a challenge, but this?Herding cats would be an easier task.“Awww… this would almost be romantic, wouldn’t it? Star-crossed lovers, but one has to leave, in order to pursue this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, while the other one stays in the rice paddies. The farmer and the genius. Maybe I should write fanfiction about it.”“I can’t believe you think he’s gay just based on this. Maybe that guy just told this to your cousin because he was jealous? Plan’s a cute nerd, these types aren’t gay.”Way to stereotype… but Viola was glad there was someone like that there, too. A voice of reason.Off the mark and wrong, but useful?“Come on, let’s go back in. Plan wouldn’t date any of us, either way. White Hand members don’t date.”“Officially.”“And unofficially… they’re all out of our league. Might as well be gay.”“Hey, imagine if he dated Mean. I would ship it. You could write about that, too: the model and the genius.”
Argh.
This was exactly why Viola didn’t want rumours of Plan being gay starting to circulate.When their footsteps had faded away and other chatter started to fill the bathroom, Rose asked in a very quiet voice:“Did you see the one with the cousin in Chiang Mai?”Viola gave her a kiss on the cheek.“Yes, baby, I did. Let’s go find Grit at the bar, I’m sure she can make the girl talk more.”“Why would she help us?”Viola smirked.“Because… we’ve been helping each other out regularly, since I’ve gone through her to follow Plan… back when he was ignoring Mean. She will help. I think she still owes me after I played cupid for her and her girlfriend.”She was suddenly pushed back by Rose, just forceful enough for her not to actually stumble.“If I didn’t know you so well, I would have to be jealous.”“Come on, baby, you know there’s only you. We’re engaged!”Rose shook her head.“Let’s go back to my fiancé, then, before the boys do anything stupid.”When they were leaving the bathroom – with a lot of room between them, so nobody got suspicious of them – Viola had the distinct feeling that they were being watched… that in fact, they might have been followed into the bathroom already...Damn.She hoped they had talked quietly enough that nobody else could have listened in even if they tried. The background noise in the club was high enough to drown out most of the chatter. Even though the girls at the sink had talked loudly, Viola had had to press her ear against the door, after all.But… what if… worst case… someone had followed them intentionally… there was a number of ways they could still have listened.“We need to be more careful, Rosie,” Viola said to her girlfriend, in a hushed tone.Words to live by.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Since Plan’s goodbye event at Gravity, Viola had been in a bad mood. That was two weeks and all of White Hand was starting to feel the consequences of it.Mean and Win, who were increasingly getting faster friends, bonding over their shared penchant for silliness, had tried their best at creating diversions for her, but she always just huffed at them.Even Rose was powerless against her grumpy mood.Plan was the only one who seemed immune to her frustration – he had been drawn more and more into his research since he didn’t have to worry about his job anymore, and Mean suspected that this was his way of escaping the stress of his sudden popularity.Mean hadn’t done anything to make him slow down in his work. He was okay with Plan plunging head-first into physics, as long as they still got to spend most evenings together; watching movies in Mean’s room, tinkering together in the workshop, or improvising at the studio.They had grown really close over the past weeks. They both loved to cuddle and make out with each other, but they were also having deep discussions about life and the universe while lying under the open sky on the patio in front of Plan’s room for half the night, or dissecting the harmonies and patterns of pieces of music they both liked while chilling in Mean’s room.Their relationship had found a good place to settle and grow. They had even gotten accustomed to acting like friends and brothers only in public.Mean wasn’t particularly unhappy about the fact that the hype around his boyfriend had lessened. They had finally enough calm to become what he wanted them to be.“I don’t get it Viola, nothing happened. Why can’t you relax about it?”They were at their private study room again, it was Friday afternoon, Viola was pacing it furiously, and Mean just about had it.He wondered whether there was some additional trouble in lesbian paradise that he hadn’t picked up on that had aggravated Viola in addition to Black Hand.“Nothing happened?” Viola came to a halt in front of Mean, glaring. “Nothing happened?! Didn’t you read that damn blog link I sent you? It’s so embarrassing. They make it look like their meme genius guy stole Plan’s show that night at Gravity. They’re even gloating about Rom being more popular than Plan now – and by extension saying Black Hand has the upper hand over us. It’s so stupid, just because their guy accepted the invitation to America and Plan didn’t. And damn, the way they framed it, if we had revealed that Plan had also been invited but chose not to go, we would just have looked like idiots.”Mean jumped up from the chair he had been sitting in and glared back, profiting from that fact that he was more than a head taller than Viola and could now look down at her.“Plan didn’t want to go to America, he could have if he wanted to. That’s still a fact, even if we didn’t parade it around. Plus, he got invited to a conference at CERN in Geneva next month, which is way more important and prestigious for a researcher. We’re still a university club, after all, not an entertainment group. And, besides, Plan still has more followers on the photo app than all of these idiots combined, and that day, people were waiting in line to see him. So, I say, we still win.”“Ugh, Mean. I get it, you’re in love with your boy-”She stopped on her track, and Mean was really close to slapping her for that slip of her tongue.
Damn.
He had accepted that Viola knew about their relationship, but she was the last person he would have expected to just blab out his secret in front of Win.
Win.
Win, who naturally latched onto the information immediately.“Boy… friend? Mean, did you finally ask him out?”For Mean’s taste, Win was a little bit too enthusiastic – and annoyingly, there wasn’t a trace of hurt or sarcasm in his voice. Over the last two weeks, he had had to accept that his boyfriend’s ex was indeed as generous as he made himself out to be. Or rather… he was still so deeply in love with Plan that he had let him go without remorse, just wrapped in a cloud of melancholy perhaps.For some reason, Win was genuinely convinced that Mean was better suited for Plan – and not because of their shared interests in physics and music, but… because Mean was rich?It was painful to accept for Mean that this was it, because Win didn’t need to make himself so small and Mean would rather have had him see that their relationship was about anything but money.But as it were, Win was genuinely rooting for them, and Mean had missed the appropriate moment to tell him the truth, and now… Viola.Mean sighed.“I guess.”“Ohhh, when? You have to tell me everything, Meanie! I’m so happy Plan is in good hands. Now I can rest easy. If you break his heart, I’ll break your legs, though. Consider yourself warned.”“That’s not the point right now,” Mean said and turned back to Viola, “what has gotten into you Vi? What happened to your credo about seeing the big picture, and having to lose some battles to win the war? They got a minor victory, so what, move on.”Viola took a deep, frustrated breath.“It isn’t just a small fucking victory, it’s like a landslide. I’ve been trying to find their leader for weeks and I’m still not any closer to pin them down. I know it has to be someone from the journalism and media department, probably a freshman, but there are 60 students there, it could be just about anyone of them. There are some people who might have grudges against you, but none pressing enough to make them suspicious. I even sent the blog posts through a style check, but… it seems like the articles are written by an AI. So… who is feeding that AI? And who the hell is clever enough to cover their tracks so thoroughly?”“You’re obsessed, Vi. Let. It. Go.”They were locked in a staring match, none of them wanted to give in first, when the door of the study room suddenly burst open and Plan came stumbling in, looking pale and waving his phone in front of him.“Plan!”Mean immediately turned to run towards him to stabilise him, but Plan was edging towards Viola and held his unlocked phone under her nose.Viola took one glance at the screen and cursed under her breath.It took a bit of struggling for Mean to get to see it for himself.The headline gave him chills.
Somewhere over the rainbow: is one member of White Hand gay?
“I was working at the research group in peace, when people suddenly started to ask weird questions. I got away under a pretext. But… Who do you think they mean? I don’t mind coming out, I told you already. It’s okay, just tell me. I’ll be the one. I hate leading people on.”Viola shook her head and let herself drop onto the couch with a deep, heart-felt sigh.“No, Plan. This is… so much worse than you think.”“How? They don’t name anyone, so… don’t they know?”Instead of answering, Viola waved at all of them to gather around and have a seat.She waited until everyone was settled, then leaned forwards, absent-mindedly playing with Plan’s phone she was holding now, the article still showing on the display.“There are three options: first option is what you probably think – they heard rumours, but they don’t have a name, and decided to publish anyway to create buzz. Given their MO so far, that’s highly unlikely. They must have a suspicion on who it is if they publish such a blog, and if they thought it was just the one, they would attach a name to it and throw that person under the bus. The members of Black Hand are all idiots, but the leader knows what they are doing.”She paused and looked around. Mean was confused, so was Win. Plan was somewhat defiant, and Rose was visibly worried.“Second option, they know one name, but don’t reveal it. That doesn’t make sense, either. If they had just one name and thought that was all, they would plaster it all over the internet. They have always been liberal in their personal attacks, if they thought they were attacking just one of us with that, they would have named that person. They have no reason to withhold the name if they believe it’s just the one. So… third, worst case, most probable option…”She took a deep breath.“They know it’s more than one… more likely than not, they know it’s all of us. I’ve heard girls gossiping about Plan’s sexuality at the event two weeks ago, if there’s suspicions about Plan, they’ll likely find out about Win, too. And, I think Rosie and I were followed that night, so they might know about us as well if they are able to put two and two together. The only one they might not suspect is Meanie, surprisingly. But if they play their card vaguely like that, they’re trying to poke us and see if we’re going to sacrifice anyone – which gives them insight on whom we want to protect more. If we don’t react, they’ll choose one. If we do, they come after the rest even more viciously. That’s the message I get from this. If they really know about all of us, I guess they’ll concentrate on either Mean or myself. Meanie first, if they know about him. Me if they don’t. We are the highest profile targets, given our families.”“It’s just talk, though, isn’t it?” Win pointed out, “as long as they don’t have any proof, they can spread any rumours they want.”Viola shook her head.“Something always sticks. It’s true that we can deny everything and play for time. But this means all of us will be under much tighter scrutiny from now on, which means… be even more careful. And there will be more shipping among you guys… I don’t know if I want them to go for the wrong or the right one.”“What do you mean?” Plan asked.“I know that you’re dating him, now, their tongues slipped,” Win nodded in the direction of Mean, “so save your effort for others. I’m happy for you.”Plan looked a little confused from one face to the other.Mean was satisfied to see that Viola was feeling appropriately guilty. Win meanwhile was smiling. Rose was smiling, too. And Mean took the opportunity to reach out and hold Plan’s hand.It would be okay in the privacy of their study room, he figured.Win, always one to focus on actions more than words, was the first to speak what everyone had on their minds:“So… what now?”“We find out why they’re doing this. We should have focused on that from the start.”While everyone was mulling over Viola’s statement, Rose stirred next to her and grinned.“A few days ago, I overheard that other Black Hand idiot, the British guy, Cameron, I think he’s called… whatever, he bragged about being able to seduce any lady he wants. He even alluded to the idea that he could steal me away from my fiancé. Why don’t I grant him a date? I bet I don’t even have to make him drunk to make him spill all the beans.”It was obvious that Viola didn’t like that idea at all.“Baby, are you sure?” she asked, surprisingly gently, “I can warn Vic to prepare to play the jealous fiancé, he’ll love that. But… if what I suspect is true, and they know about us, why would he fall for that?”Rose smiled from ear to ear.“Because nothing is bigger than the unfounded confidence of this type of straight guy. If he knows that I am into girls, he’ll be even more tempted to go all in and prove that he’s such an impressive stallion that he can even turn a lesbian.”“What if he tries to force himself on you?” Viola’s voice now almost trembled with worry, “how do we protect you? Baby, I don’t want you to get hurt.”As tense and dangerous as the situation was, Mean couldn’t help but be touched by the open display of affection his best friend finally showed for her girlfriend. He had rarely seen Viola so soft and vulnerable.It was good to know she could be like that, too.And it only strengthened his resolve to find a way to protect them – all of them.Meanwhile, Win – Win proved again that he was a man of action first, and show his merit as a member of White Hand. While everyone else was still caught up in their own dark thoughts, he jumped up and smirked:“Well, then. Let’s come up with a plan.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Don’t you think we’re overdoing it a little bit?”Plan had wanted to climb out of the van that Tio had just parked behind the Italian restaurant where Rose’s date with Cameron would take place – but Mean had held him back and was now fixing a microphone and a micro camera onto his shirt.Somewhere along the path, the simple plan of having Rose go on a date with the wannabe womanizer of Black Hand, in order to find out who the leader of their shadow organisation was, had turned into an utterly ridiculous operation involving all of them.“Nonsense, we have to keep Rosie safe, don’t we?”Mean grinned broadly.Too broadly.Plan could see it, now.Whatever his boyfriend said to justify all of this – this was totally not about Rose:It was about having an excuse to use cutting edge surveillance technology. Mean had spent most of the past week in his workshop, not even grumbling that Plan had taken the results of his latest simulation home with him, hoping to find the evidence he was looking for.This wasn’t just a way to protect their friend, it was… the way Mean looked at the screens in front of him, adjusting the feeds and starting up the AI he had trained over the last week, you could have mistaken this for his birthday.Sometimes, Plan wondered what would be a bigger blow to the image of his boyfriend: the fact that he was gay or the fact that he was secretly a huge nerd.Well, seeing that Plan himself had loyal fans, as a physics student… maybe nerdy was cool and it was just Mean’s family who were being difficult about it.“I’ll be at the bar, cleaning glasses and having an eye on her in case he tries to poison her or grope her or whatever Viola is afraid of. I’ll be too far away from the table. Why do I need to be wired up?”If it had been up to him, he wouldn’t… Plan found the fuss they were making entirely too much, but he would humour his new friends, and his secretly nerdy boyfriend. His role wasn’t too hard to play, after all.Viola had somehow convinced the restaurant owners to allow her to work there as a server for the entire evening. She was already wearing a low-cut, girly summer dress, a long, brown-haired wig and so much make-up that nobody would recognise her, sure, but they wouldn’t take her seriously, either.When Mean had pointed that out – after a laughing fit that had lasted about ten minutes – Viola had huffed and had told him that she was only dressing up as an Italian woman.Like Monica Bellucci.“More like a clown,” had been Mean’s verdict.So, while Viola would be a clown-like Italian server at the restaurant – she had even learned a few Italian phrases for the occasion – Plan would work behind the bar in a disguise.Why he should be the one working the bar was obvious, given his former job at Gravity – but both Win and Mean had also argued that he was the most versatile of them in his looks. They just needed to tweak a few style choices, and nobody would recognise him anymore.He had vetoed the moustache, though.They could put him in clothes they called “typically Italian”, a slightly curly wig and blue contact lenses, making him look part Italian – but no moustache.Neither real nor fake.Not even as a joke.Mean would stay in the van, of course, monitoring everything through his fancy tech setup.And with him would be Tio as the designated driver, if they needed to get away fast. He hadn’t really given an explanation where he had gotten the van from, but he had been adamant that nobody else tried to drive it and that he would be in trouble if he bumped into something.Win would also stay with Mean in the van, as an additional pair of eyes and muscle that could be called in if it was necessary.The truth was… nobody trusted hot-headed Win to stay quiet if push came to shove, so he better stayed out of the way. Plan had agreed with Mean that if they kept Win away from the heat, they would have to keep Viola out, too. She wasn’t acting rationally.But Viola hadn’t wanted to hear that. She just couldn’t leave Rose alone to fend with… that idiot.The only one they were still waiting for was Viola’s brother Vic, who would also be on stand-by in the van. He would eventually have to run in and play the angry fiancé for Rose, the moment they had gotten enough info that their entire operation could be wound down.Apparently, he was stuck in traffic on the way here, though.Plan didn’t know him. He had talked to him during his farewell party at Gravity for a bit, until both Mean and Win had barged in all jealous, as if he had any interest in the guy. He was a bit conceited and arrogant in his opinion, for someone who didn’t seem to have anything interesting to say.In short: not Plan’s type.Rose would arrive at the restaurant in about ten minutes.She would be early and graciously wait for Cameron to join her. This would give them time to test the setup before things got real. Viola was so nervous, though, that Plan doubted that she would be able to play the server convincingly. You wouldn’t think she was such a proficient poker player if you saw her now.Though – Mean had assured him that she was always like this until things got real, and then her poker face would come on automatically.They’d see.*~*~*The back of the van wasn’t half as comfortable as Mean had thought when Plan had still been with them.Now, he was cramped in here with all his expensive equipment, an antsy Win on one side, and an amused Vic on the other.Rose had already taken her place at the restaurant, Mean had checked her microphone – as well as the one on the table and on the other two – and it was only a matter of minutes until Cameron would arrive.Mean sat up automatically, when his detection algorithm enlarged the feed of the surveillance camera on the restaurant entrance, because Cameron had stepped into the camera field.“He’s here,” Mean said through the open mic, alerting the two girls, and Plan, inside the restaurant.On screen, he saw all three of them nod and get in character.“That’s him?” Vic said next to him, not hiding his disapproval as he looked at the tall British boy, “frankly, I was expecting him to be more handsome.”Mean tilted his head and looked at the figure of the tall, gangly boy.He wouldn’t call him ugly, if you were into that type. He might look better with a proper haircut instead of the frizzy mid-length bed-hair that he seemed to cultivate – Mean was sure it took a lot more effort than he would ever let on – but other than that… he was a solid-looking Brit. And, he had clearly made an effort to be dressed up properly, in a full suit and tie.But of course, he wasn’t his type at all, either.“I think he looks alright,” Win offered.The comment caused Vic to sit up, and Mean noticed that he was eyeing Win up with new interest.“I’m as gay as they come, but honestly…,” Vic insisted, “if I had to choose between dating Rose for real and this guy, I would go for her. There’s just something about his eyes that looks… creepy.”“Look who’s talking.”Mean hadn’t forgotten how Vic had tried to proposition him, and how he had ogled Plan at Gravity.“Ah, Meanie, don’t be so stuck up. You’ve got me all wrong. I was only doing that the other day because my sister wanted to know if you were gay, and into that cute bartender there. I didn’t mean what I said. By the way… are you? There are all these rumours since that Black Hand article.”“What?” Mean rolled his eyes and groaned, “Viola.”He would have to have a serious talk with her. Of course, this might just be Vic trying to talk himself out of his own bullshit – but it sounded too much like something Viola would do to dismiss it entirely.And the worst part was – they should concentrate on Cameron, who was now approaching the table Rose sat at.Instead, Mean was distracted by Vic.And Plan… who suddenly looked directly at the camera on the ceiling, slightly shook his head and lifted up the receiver of the telephone.It took Mean a moment to understand what was happening, when Plan pretended to answer a silent phone call, but instead opened the mic on his shirt.“Good evening, Ma’am…” he said, in a pretend conversation, “ah, I’m sorry Ma’am, I didn’t catch that… Could you tell your boyfriend to turn off the loudspeaker, it’s distracting… thank you. Now I can hear you. A reservation? – Let me check.”
Oh, shit.
Mean quickly reached for the mic controls to mute it.He paled a little. He had completely forgotten to turn that off.Did that mean… Viola had heard everything?Rose also.And Plan…Ah… he was grateful to him that he had warned him in time. He would have to thank him properly later. It was embarrassing enough that he had to hear Vic’s inappropriate comments. But now, he was saved.Boyfriend culture, he thought fondly.When he looked at the screen again, he saw Plan throw a hidden smirk at the camera, before putting down the receiver and returning to drying glasses from the dish washer.“Did he just call you boyfriend?”Mean inhaled sharply.“So what if he did? He needed to say something, didn’t he?”“He said boyfriend, though, not husband, to that Ma’am on the phone,” Vic remarked.Mean noticed Win’s confused look, as if he had expected Vic to know already. He was Viola’s brother and Rose’s official fiancé after all.“You know what… if this mission fails and we don’t find the Black Hand leader in time, everyone will know anyway, they’re already pairing off all of us with heavens know whom since these gay rumours started,” Mean exasperatedly turned towards Vic, “yes, he is my boyfriend. Happy?”Out of the corners of his eyes, Mean could see that Cameron had reached Rose and had greeted her with a gallant hand kiss.Ugh.So cheesy.Did that actually work on girls?Luckily, the recording device in his equipment would start recording the conversation at the table automatically. Because he couldn’t pay attention.He had to deal with a beaming Vic in here.“Awww, Meanie! Finally! I’m so proud of you. See? You only needed a bit of encouragement to go get your cute bartender.”Mean was close to slapping him. Particularly… because… it… irked him that Vic wasn’t wrong entirely. The prospect of Vic making a pass at Plan, after he had unsuccessfully tried to proposition him first, had been an important reason why he had taken Plan on the planetarium date. That was still one of his favourite memories ever; right after the night they had improvised over Cantaloupe Island, when they had first kissed.Without Vic’s interference, Mean wouldn’t have had the courage to ask Plan to leave with him that night.“Can’t we all just focus on our task at hand,” he said, and pointed at the screen.To emphasis his words, he turned up the volume on the conversation.Vic didn’t comment on Mean and Plan anymore after that – though Mean soon wished he would.The conversation they were listening in on instead was… cringeworthy.On the one hand, it looked like Cameron was genuinely crushing on Rose, pointless as that was, and he tried to impress her like an idiot. On the other hand, Mean wondered whether there was more to it than just the thrill of trying to conquer the most beautiful girl at UdG.For a long time, there was nothing useful in the conversation at all – and Mean got progressively more bored with his task. He caught himself looking at the camera feed of Plan, working the bar. Now that everyone in the van knew about their relationship, he didn’t have to hide it, anyway.How did he manage to look so cute, no matter what disguise he wore?He needed to control himself not to look too dreamily – or it might happen to him in public, too, and everyone would know.Then, suddenly, right at the end of the main course, Cameron said:“Ah, isn’t this great? Black Hand and White Hand, hatches buried, finally together in harmony.”He smiled at Rose and took her hand. She only reluctantly allowed it, Mean could see it clearly – but Cameron obviously didn’t notice at all and smiled at her instead.“If it were up to me, I would never have started this feud to begin with,” Rose said, smiling back shyly.Mean was actually impressed by her acting skills – he knew how much she despised Cameron, how much she had wanted to teach him a lesson whenever she had heard him brag about his conquests, or that he planned on seducing her eventually. And yet… here she was, smiling at him like that.He only noticed later, that she was looking at Viola just behind him, and that the smile had probably been directed at her.
Clever.
“I know!” Cameron shouted enthusiastically, “I don’t get why S- she always insists on going after you guys. I think she has a crush on Mean or something, she’s always obsessing over him.”She?Did he refer to the leader?It would… fit Mean’s observation, that all the attacks against White Hand were somehow directed at him... what he said about her obsessing over Mean. But why would she attack him, if she had a crush on him?Cameron was stupid.What else was new.Rose had obviously been briefed well enough by Viola as not to spook him, and she didn’t ask him directly who she was. Instead, she only nodded in fake agreement to his statement.“I only wanted to be recognised, you know. But she always goes around with do this, do that, we have to make it look like… hey, Rose, say, if we are dating, can I join you instead? I don’t even know what the point of Black Hand is. I feel like it’s just Sar- oh…” he clasped his hand over his mouth, “I shouldn’t tell you this. I promised her not to use her nickname. She’s very secretive about it for some reason. I don’t get it. You’re so nice.”A girl whose name starts with a Sar-? Sarah? Probably a first-year journalism and media student? How many were there?Even though Rose tried to remain nice, and get him to talk more about the mysterious Sar-, he had dried up again – instead, he seemed to believe that he had now managed to conquer Rose, and on the camera feed, Mean could see that Viola was getting antsy.He quickly opened the mic to all again.“I think I’ll send Vic in now, what do you think?”There was no immediate answer, only a discreet nod by Rose in the flow of her conversation, and then Viola walked leisurely over to Plan, to talk to him in a hushed voice.Then, Plan did his phone trick again.“Yes, Ma’am, we’ve received your reservation. – Yes, indeed, we have all the information we need right here. – Yes, of course I can confirm… Can you repeat that again? – Ah, I see, that’s alright then. We’ll be happy to send someone to fetch you. – Until tomorrow, then… you’re welcome. Goodbye.”Mean interpreted this as a yes, please send him in, and nodded in Vic’s direction.“Your boyfriend is smart,” Vic said teasingly, “I get why they call him a genius, now.”Then, he scrambled off his seat, got out of the van with a weird smile directed at Win, for some reason, straightened his back and ran towards the entrance.A few seconds later, he emerged in the camera feed, an impressive ball of angry energy for someone who had been disinterested and almost bored by the actual mission until now. When he started to shout at Cameron angrily and threatened to punch him, Mean muted not just the mic but the conversation feed as well, and looked at Win.“Do you have an idea who she might be?”Win only shrugged.“I suppose we need to look for someone named Sarah at the journalism department?”His gaze was still fixed on the screen, where Vic was now dragging Rose out of the restaurant. They re-emerged on the camera feed facing the door, soon – and as they had agreed, Vic brought her to his car and quickly drove off, before a visibly confused and shaken Cameron could follow them outside.Mean almost felt sorry for him as he stood in the cold night air outside, alone and confused.Only almost, though. He should have known better than going after someone else’s girl. Even if someone else was not who he was made to believe.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Come on, don’t be naïve. We know she’s clever. Why should she use her real name?”Viola’s face was still in the make-up she had worn at the restaurant and Mean still thought she looked like a clown.They had all met up in Mean’s room for a debriefing, and Viola had just found out that there was nobody at the journalism and media department called Sarah or Sara or Sari or anything of that sort.“Look on the bright side… at least we know we’re looking for a she,” Mean suggested.Viola inhaled sharply, not hiding her annoyance.“That doesn’t mean anything, if we don’t have a proper name. For all we know, she could be enrolled under a boy’s name.”Mean frowned.
Damn it.
“Do you think a guy like Cameron would call her a she in that case? He’s a foreigner.”Viola shrugged.“Don’t forget that his family has been stationed here for years, he has attended school here. He is fluent in Thai. And besides… Most Westerners aren’t that ignorant anymore.”“Most maybe, but he’s a douche…”With a sigh, Viola let herself drop next to Mean on the bed. Mean was glad that Plan was sitting on the other side of him, at least, and that everyone in the room now knew about them, so there was no need to hide anything.He would have an axe to grind with her, later, anyway. About her brother; who was back to his disinterested self, barely invested in their quest once more.“Look, Meanie. I want it to be easy, too. I want it to be one of the female students, too… but we can’t afford to discard the option. She is clever. We know that. And she apparently was clever enough to keep safeguards up even against her own stupid club members.”“At least we can be reasonably sure that she’s after Mean,” Rose threw in, “Cameron is an idiot and it was tedious sitting through a date with him – but it was obvious that wanted to impress me and he’s too dense to lie at that moment.”Mean nodded.“I suspected that before; that she’s after me. All of her articles were targeting me indirectly, even if they were not about me… except the last one, maybe. Maybe… maybe nobody was named, because she wants to pin it on me eventually?”Viola glared at him.“Mean… if you suspected that, why didn’t you tell me?”He glared right back.“As if you ever tell me everything you’re doing. Is it true what he said,” he nodded in the direction of Vic, who looked like he was half asleep on Mean’s desk chair from boredom, “that you asked him to check if I was gay?”“Can we focus on the Black Hand problem?”For a moment, Mean contemplated throwing everyone out… everyone except Plan, of course, and just discuss this with him alone.Here he was, finding out that his best friend had played him, at the same time as he was finding out that the scary leader of Black Hand was after him personally.Damn, he needed Viola in that fight. But he also didn’t really trust her at the moment.He could accept that she collected information instinctively and played her games, that was just something she did – but inciting her brother to act creepy with him, whether Vic had misinterpreted Viola’s request or not didn’t matter, and having him insinuate he would go after Plan… when she suspected that he had a crush on him… that was just… too much.“You had no business trying to find out whether I’m gay or not if I didn’t want to tell you.”“I just wanted to help,” Viola screamed, “you were hiding in your shell and I just wanted you not to miss your chance. And look… it worked.”She pointed at Plan, who had put his arm over Mean protectively – Mean suspected also to hold him back if he lashed out at her too much.“I didn’t ask for your help. You didn’t even offer to help me. You just assumed that you knew what I wanted.”“I’m sorry, okay? I just didn’t want you to waste your life being scared, when you were so clearly aching for someone.”Mean could feel himself getting worked up. He just…“Who says I would have missed my chance if you didn’t interfere? He lived at my pool house. We would have met again eventually.”“I said I’m sorry!”The anger suddenly froze inside of Mean – it didn’t calm him down, it just made him biting and silently seething.“Are you, though? Everything is just a game for you, isn’t it? Messing with me was just fun for you, wasn’t it? Do I even need enemies when I have friends like that?”Viola was close to tears, but Mean didn’t care at the moment. He was glad that Plan was still holding him, reassuring him that there was someone there for him at least. Now that his best friend had just shown her ugly side.“It wasn’t a game for me. I just… I didn’t realise I was doing that, I got carried away… I’ll pay more attention in the future… Please, Mean. Don’t… I need you as a friend. You’re really important to me! I don’t know what I would do without you…”This finally deflated Mean’s anger.Not just the words, the way she looked at him now, humbled, understanding… like she had realised what she had done. He would have to work through it later, but…Despite the shock about her overstepping his boundaries like that, he knew her well enough to recognise that she wasn’t trying to play him right now at least. She probably wasn’t even lying about not having had any bad intentions back then, either.He could even concede that he might have needed to be shoved out of the door a bit, so he didn’t miss his chance with Plan out of fear. But she could have done it openly, not trying to trick him dirtily like that.Sometimes… he could just… argh
Fine.
He didn’t want to lose her friendship, either.They had gone through too much shit together over the years to let it end over something like this. Growing up in the spotlight and drowned in money was hard enough alone, good friends who helped you escape from that were precious. And… as hurt as he was by what she had done to him, he really needed that strategic mind of hers right now, against Black Hand. He had had his fair share of haters and anti-fans over the years, it practically came with the family. But never someone so set on attacking him.Instead of an answer, he reluctantly peeled himself away from Plan, to give her a hug.“We’re still friends. I know you’re not my enemy. That was uncalled for. But…” he sighed, “just… don’t… do that ever again.”“I’m sorry.”They were still hugging each other, and Mean was hoping that she had really understood that she shouldn’t try something like this again, when Win broke the somewhat awkward silence in the room:“Err… I’m glad you made up and all that, but… Shouldn’t we worry about Black Hand and what they might do now?”A collective sigh went through the entire room, as if everyone was relieved that they had something else to focus on.“What do you think she will do now, Vi?” Rose asked softly, and moved in behind her girlfriend just like Plan had moved back to hold Mean after he had let go of Viola, “Cameron will probably tell her about tonight, or at least vent about how horrible my fiancé is.”Mean noticed that this was the first time both couples in their group of friends were showing their affection for each other openly like that. Maybe it was progress, despite the pressure they were facing.The rumours about someone in White Hand being gay had drowned the university in excited gossip, and different camps had sprung up among students almost immediately:Those who didn’t believe the rumours and the majority who readily jumped on it. There was a minority from both camps who were shocked by the idea of a gay White Hand member. And then, there were different groups who had different theories about who it was – and who were busily shipping everyone with basically everyone.One of the most popular theories was that Viola was a lesbian – she did like to dress butch and she was a rebel and a nonconformist. However, the still also persistent rumours that she was dating Mean held the fire down.Viola had claimed, somewhat reluctantly, that she didn’t mind the gossip, as long as they didn’t guess who her girlfriend was.And, as long as her parents didn’t get suspicious.For now, they were putting her clothing style and attitude on a rebellious phase she would eventually grow out of. The rumours could threaten her if they persisted, but for now… it was manageable.There were no rumours at all about Rose, yet.As for the boys… shipping was a mess.MeanPlan was popular, because they were living at the same house and the idea of them dating fuelled all kinds of fantasies.But some people had found out that Win and Plan had attended the same high school in Chiang Mai, and rumours of them being close back then had quickly made the rounds. So, WinPlan was popular, too. The favourite theory of their shippers was that Plan’s condition for accepting Mean’s invitation to White Hand was that he invited Win, too.However, the fact that Win had joined White Hand before Plan, and that Win and Mean were seen together a lot more in the last couple of weeks, there were shippers for them, too. There had even already been a bit of a shipping war between MeanPlan, WinPlan and MeanWin shippers, all of whom were busy collecting evidence to support their claim.Now that he thought about it, Mean might have jumped onto the opportunity to build all the surveillance for Rose’s date partly so he didn’t have to think too deeply about what this meant for all of them in the future. All it would take for them to be outed was one picture, one kiss they might have thought was private, or too tight a hug, too deep a gaze even.Then, there were those who were invested in the idea that only one of them was gay – so the shipping involved people from outside as well.The weirdest ship Win had come across and immediately shared in their group chat – he was the one most obsessed with the rumours – was Plan with not-a-genius Rom from Black Hand.Hearing about it had nearly caused Mean to out himself on an impulse, because this was just insulting. Plan would never go near an idiot like that, he should sue the shippers for defamation.“I think…” Viola’s voice was still slightly shaking when she finally spoke again, “I think it’s safe to assume that she doesn’t know about Mean. If what Cameron said is true – I trust both Rosie’s and Mean’s intuition in this… so, if that’s true… I guess she would have made it about him if she knew. But… truth be told… I don’t know anymore. Maybe she knows about him, and just wants us to make a mistake first. I’m afraid we have to wait for her next move, everything else could expose us.”Mean automatically leaned back tighter into Plan’s embrace.“That’s not very reassuring.”“I can try to find an outside approach,” Tio suggested, “I’m not at UdG, and I can listen around to find out if there are any rumblings about serious grudges against Young Master that I haven’t caught on before.”Mean pursed his lips.“You don’t have to call me that when we’re among us, Tio.”“I’m sorry. It’s a habit… this is still my job…”Whenever he saw him act like that, Mean felt a pang of guilt for involving Tio in anything. It was true that he often needed him. While Vic and Viola claimed to have been the catalysts for his relationship with Plan, Tio had been the one who had understood Plan the fastest and had helped him stay patient and wait, rather than mess things up by pressuring him.If Viola was the friend he couldn’t afford to lose, Tio was another type of confidante he couldn’t easily go without.But, Mean knew that Tio had other plans in life and he didn’t want to be the reason for him not to get free of the Attachitsataporn family. That was a fight Tio would have to have with his parents.“We can solve it among ourselves, you should just focus on your studies…”Tio took a deep breath.“I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you, and I know there was something I could have done. Mum and Dad wouldn’t be pleased with me, either…”Before Mean could answer, Viola stirred next to him and suddenly laughed.“Maybe waiting for her to move isn’t too bad, after all – you don’t have to waste resources, Tio,” she chuckled loudly, “if she’s really obsessing over Mean like that idiot Cameron said, she’ll be dying to tell Mean what it is all about eventually. If we don’t react to her provocations, she’ll either get desperate for our attention and betray herself; or she’ll get cocky thinking she has us cornered. All we have to do is be prepared when she arrives. Let’s focus on protecting Mean.”Mean groaned.“You make me sound like a fragile princess in need of protection.”Viola smiled.“Or the King in a game of chess.”Mean smiled back.That sounded more like it.“If we want to protect you, we need to take the teeth out of any attacks we can anticipate,” Viola continued, “so… how do you feel about… telling your parents… about…”She vaguely gesticulated in the direction of Plan and him.Mean sighed.He used to think that his parents’ potential disapproval was the main reason for him not to enter a relationship with a boy, but he still remembered what his sister Joule had said when she had first met Plan.That Mum would be thrilled to have a gay son, because it would be good PR with rich foreign gay couples, whom they would love to have as customers on their airline.But… Could he really trust Joule of all people? She had probably only said these things because she wanted to profit off of the boys’ love craze for her career as an influencer. She could do that, now, anyway, with the MeanPlan ship sailing strong as it did.He slowly told the others about these thoughts.“I think your sister is right about your mother,” Plan offered, when Mean had stopped talking, “sometimes I even think your parents want to see us together and that’s why they let me stay here.”Mean turned to look at him.“Really?”Plan shrugged.“Maybe I’m influenced by what your sister said. But I wouldn’t be surprised.”“Still, we have to think this through,” Mean said and frowned, “what if you’re wrong and they disapprove. They might throw us out.”Tio shook his head so visibly that everyone was immediately looking at him.“They won’t throw you out, Mean, no matter what. Don’t you remember your own family history? How your dad regrets losing his brothers? He won’t let go of his son, too.”That was true. Of course, Mean knew how important family unity was for his father. How could he ever forget – it defined his entire life, after all.And yet...“They can still throw Plan out. And cut me off from my allowance or something. Force me to get married.”“I’ll survive if they throw me out,” Plan immediately assured him.It came almost too fast.Almost as if… hadn’t he committed himself to staying here? Was he back to thinking about leaving?“Please, don’t start thinking about going back to your village again. Losing you is not an option.”The fact that Plan hugged him closer and even leaned his head against his shoulder did much to reassure him. They might not have been dating for long and taken it slowly so far, but Plan was still more important to him than anyone else.“That’s not what I meant,” Plan said gently, in the tone of voice he only ever used with him, “I want to stay at UdG with you. I’ll fight for us if I have to. But if I can find a sheltered spot to roll out my bed mat, I’ll be okay. And I’m not worried about my scholarship anymore, I see now that my academic merits are strong enough to let me keep it. Or… I’ll just take up one of the offers from abroad if they chase me out from here. Theoretical physics won’t lose me that easily anymore.”He placed a peck on Mean’s cheek that left a lingering warmth.“Don’t worry, I’d take you abroad with me, too, if you want.”Mean shook his head.“My parents wouldn’t let me elope with you. That’s too similar to what my uncle did when he saw that he was losing the fight against my dad. It still haunts him, not knowing what happened to him after he disappeared.”Nobody said anything anymore for a while – until Win, again, asked what they suggested that they did, then.“If we want to take the sting out of Black Hand possibly outing you… your parents have to know it is coming. One way or another,” Viola said earnestly, “I think the risk of them not accepting you is smaller than the risk of them finding out through a scandal they weren’t prepared for. If they throw you out, Plan, we’ll help you find another place to stay. And in any case, they’d be interested to avoid a scandal, so they won’t force you to leave White Hand and invite people to dig.”Mean took his time to respond to this. It sounded logical. He knew it was better to let them know in advance – and possibly his artist agency as well. But…It was unnerving, too.Couldn’t he just… have a bit more time?He wasn’t ready for his relationship with Plan to change. It felt too comfortable, the way it was right now. And even if his parents actually accepted them, things would inevitably change if people around the house knew about them.He doubted that they would let them stay together in his room alone, at least not without making all kinds of assumptions about what they did together.Furthermore… he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea Joule had pitched – about him becoming the openly gay face of the advertisement campaign, to appeal to foreign customers.All in all, Mean didn’t know what outcome he preferred.“Is there really no other option?”Viola furrowed her brow.“Well… if someone else comes out, we might get them off our backs for a while – provided that she doesn’t know about you. But the only option for this would be Win,” she turned to look at the badminton player, “I can’t come out, because my parents would kill me if they knew. I’ve worked so hard setting up things for us to remain hidden, I can’t give that up. So, Rosie is out of the question, too. If Plan comes out, he’ll have to move out from here, or MeanPlan will sail even stronger and you haven’t accomplished anything. If Win comes out… you have to be prepared for people to find out about his past with Plan… unless you find yourself a boyfriend, Win. But… this would only barely take the heat off of you, Mean, since she is after you.”Mean sighed.This didn’t sound like much of an alternative.Part of him didn’t want Win to come out this publicly, no matter what he might choose to do, because it would put more focus on the WinPlan ship… and Win might have said that he approved of Mean dating Plan, but would he hold on to that if the public started clamouring for content for them?“No… I think…” Mean gulped, “I’ll talk to them.”“You don’t have to do it alone, you know,” Plan reminded him, “unless… you want that. But I won’t go anywhere.”While the others soon moved on to other aspects of Mean’s life that they needed to protect – his career, his position as White Hand leader, his engineering prowess... Mean’s thoughts remained stuck on the task ahead.Telling his parents about his preference… and his relationship… felt like a mountain to climb, all on his own. Or… hopefully together with Plan.At least, there was that.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
His hands clenched together, Plan was trying to run basic calculations for his research project in his mind while he sat in the comfortable armchair in his room. His packed duffle bag and his sleeping mat were lying on the floor next to him, ready to go if necessary.He had needed to roll up all his new clothes tightly and squeeze them into the bag to have room for everything – a testament to how much his life had already changed since he had accepted a room at the Attachitsataporn mansion.Mean was talking to his parents. Plan had offered to accompany him, for moral support, but Mean had declined. He wanted to talk to them alone, first.It was understandable. Mean had been nervous and on edge for three days until he had finally mustered the courage to do it.It was getting urgent – there had been a follow-up article by the Black Hand leader on her blog, insinuating that there might be more than one gay in White Hand, but still not naming any names. Mean needed to know how all the important people in his life would react to his sexual orientation, now, before any rumours about him might force his hands.Even if his family were to disapprove, it was better to be prepared than just sit it out until she could do the damage she wanted to do.After the article had appeared, Viola had concluded that the Black Hand leader likely thought Mean was straight and by keeping the rumours vague, she wanted to provoke him. The way the article was formulated, it looked like they had found out about Plan’s and Win’s past relationship.But they obviously didn’t see any value in outing them by name, yet. Which could only mean... she didn’t suspect anything between Mean and Plan.But one tiny slip up, and they would be doomed.It was unnerving in itself.Plan didn’t expect Mean’s family to disapprove or be harsh to them because of their relationship. The way he had gotten to know them since moving in, they had always been nice and supportive of him, and they had put a lot of emphasis on being a healthy, loving family.They wouldn’t jeopardise this image needlessly.Still, he had packed his bags – you could call it superstition. He thought that if he was ready for the worst, it wouldn’t happen; like it only ever seemed to rain if he forgot to bring an umbrella on a cloudy day – and if he didn’t forget it, he carried the thing around all day needlessly.He had also contacted Birk and Ellie again to ask if he could crash at their place once more if he was thrown out. They had only scolded him for not staying in contact with them after he had become famous – but they had happily agreed.If the worst-case scenario was to realise itself, he would have to assess the damage, weigh his options and then move on. He had so many more options than he had before, that he couldn’t know which one would be the best course of action until Mean returned.He should really return… soon.What took him so long?One way or the other, Plan just wanted to have clarity. Whether he could stay here, whether he needed to fight for their relationship, whether the family’s attitude towards him would change, whether he needed to go abroad to pursue his career… anything, everything.All he knew was that he couldn’t go back to the village anymore.When he could hear steps in the corridor, rapidly approaching, he automatically braced himself.There was a knock on the door, but Mean didn’t wait for him to answer – he stormed into the room, smiling from ear to ear, relaxed in a way Plan had never seen him before.It could only mean he had really packed his bags for nothing but superstition.Instead of an explanation, Mean jumped onto his lap, hugged him tightly and threatened to overwhelm him with his kiss.Pulling away from him took a bit of effort, but Plan needed answers.“Plan, they knew. They knew all along, and they have been waiting for me.”“About us?”Mean shook his head.“Suspected. Weren’t surprised,” he said, not bothering to form full sentences, leaving Plan to look at him confused.“Mum says she had known I was gay since I was twelve. Apparently, I have admired the male protagonists in the dramas we watched together a bit too obviously. They have waited for me to tell them since then and they’ve already prepared for it.”As much as the acceptance of the family didn’t surprise Plan, the rest… did.He quietly moved his hand to his boyfriend’s cheek and made him look at him.“What does that mean? What did they prepare?”“They have expected me to enter a relationship with a guy eventually. Apparently, there is even some kind of lawyer-speak clause in the contract with my agency that they would accept me dating whomever I wanted, and that they would handle PR if I did. Joule wasn’t off with her ideas, either, I think she might have talked to Mum about it, actually. They really want to market the airline towards rich foreign gays among others – but Mum insisted that they wouldn’t push the issue if I don’t want to… it’s just convenient.”Plan though his head was spinning. Despite having spent quite some time with the rich family already, he still had difficulties wrapping his head around the concept of treating even the most intimate decisions as PR opportunities.He had accepted the necessity to give some kind of explanation for his presence in the house, and that he needed to repay them for their kindness somehow – but Mean was awfully calm for someone who had just learned that his family had callously banked on his potential coming out for a PR campaign, without telling him.But… the important part was… actually…“What about me?”Instead of an answer, Plan only received a kiss at first, one he quickly turned away from.“Mean, please, what about me?”“Oh… they’re okay with us. I thought that was obvious.”Plan sighed.“You told them about us, did you?”“Of course! What do you think of me? I just told you they suspected it, didn’t I? And that they weren’t surprised.”Why did Mean tiptoe around the issue? Hadn’t he seen the bags?“So… I can unpack again.”This finally startled Mean properly.“Unpack? Did you pack?”Plan wordlessly pointed to the bags next to the armchair they were huddled in together.The guilty grimace that appeared on Mean’s face gave him a little bit of satisfaction.“Why? I thought you were sure they wouldn’t throw you out?”“Superstition.”*~*~*Not surprisingly, Mean’s mother was waiting for Plan at the breakfast table the next morning.Mean had already left early, for a modelling job that required the natural light of the setting sun. But surprisingly, neither Mean’s sisters nor his father were present.“Please, Plan, have a seat.”Her voice was nice and inviting – but he still couldn’t help feeling a little bit intimidated. He was reminded of the TV dramas the villagers had obsessed about, where the poor person in the main couple was sat down by the mother of the rich one and offered money and thinly veiled threats.Plan didn’t expect her to make that type of move – but it was still a little unsettling.“I presume Mean told you about our talk yesterday,” she continued, in the same tender tone.Plan nodded.Mean’s mother smiled in response.“In that case, welcome to the family, again. We’re very happy to have you, Plan – as our guest, and as our potential son-in-law.”Son-in-law? They didn’t expect them…? The entire in-law part was theoretical at the moment anyway, as long as there was no legal way to get married or otherwise partnered in Thailand. And even if… Plan really liked Mean a lot and he had committed to the relationship the moment he had decided to stay here, but… realistically, they were still in the “getting to know each other” phase.“Oh? I didn’t mean to scare you,” she clarified, the expression on his face no doubt betraying his worries, “I just thought it sounded nicer than our son’s boyfriend.”“Thank you,” Plan answered, still somewhat sullenly.He was happy that there was no need for secrecy at home anymore, and to know that they had the family’s support if they needed to come out publicly.Whenever Plan had offered to come out publicly, he had imagined talking about himself, not… both of them. Just telling people he preferred boys was easy, and he was confident that his career wouldn’t suffer from this.However, coming out as Mean’s boyfriend was a whole other story.Of course, this had been the point of this entire thing – telling Mean’s family about everything and figure out how to keep control of their story under the threat of Black Hand.“Out of curiosity… is this… why you let me move into the house?”Mrs Attachitsataporn laughed.“No, Plan, what we said back then was all true. Though… now that the cat is out of the bag: we knew. You two were much less secretive than you thought.”“But at times, it felt like you were actively pushing us together?”A smirk appeared in the mother’s eyes.“I hope you know how much my little Meanie is smitten with you. I could see it right away, when he started sneaking food out to you. I’m his mother, I know my son, he has never acted like this before. We were just making sure you weren’t discouraged, while you wanted to keep your secret. But we wouldn’t have acted any differently if you weren’t with him, if that’s what you’re scared about.”This comforted Plan a little, though he somewhat doubted that they would really have treated him exactly the same.He wasn’t sure he was happy with the implications of this – if Mean’s family had seen through their efforts to hide their secret, how safe were they outside of the house, really?Sure, they had been less cautious around the house, and the fact that they had spent most evenings together, whenever Mean didn’t have a schedule or Plan was waiting for results from overseas experiments, might have tipped them off… but still… shit.“I presume this wasn’t all you wanted to talk to me about…”Plan had to ask her, despite not being overly keen on talking to Mrs Attachitsataporn right now.“Indeed, there was something…” oh, so here it went, “I heard that you are planning to travel to Geneva to attend a conference at CERN next month, aren’t you?”“Yes…?”He did plan that, though the university administration was still busy trying to make it all work – he had needed to apply for a passport and a Schengen visa, and they were still waiting for that before they could book flights and accommodation.It was one hell of a step for Plan, who hadn’t gotten out of the larger Chiang Mai area before he had moved to Bangkok for university. But it already looked like this trip wouldn’t be the last he’d take – not to mention all the invitations to TV shows and interview requests he had received from all over the world.“Is the university supporting you well enough? Is the itinerary coming along?”Plan shrugged.It wasn’t like he had anything to compare it to.“Still waiting for the visa…”Mean’s mother immediately assured him that their people would look to speeding the process up – Plan would rather not know what exactly she meant by that.“But in that case,” she continued, utterly unfazed by Plan’s discomfort, “why don’t you take Mean with you? We wanted to make a longer video feature with him travelling in our new airline for a while as part of our next advertising push, we could combine that – of course, we would sponsor your flight as well, if you participate in our informercial.”
What?
So far, Plan had thought that he understood the family’s motives, more or less, but this?Why?“Do you want to out us?”It came out angrier than he meant it.“No, no, Plan, don’t worry.”He breathed through deeply in a vain attempt to calm himself.“In the current climate, there are bound to be rumours if I suddenly decide to take Mean with me on an overseas trip. And wouldn’t he miss too many classes and schedules?”“Ah, we’ll take care of that, of course. Classes aren’t that important,” she declared, and Plan was about ready to jump at her throat for saying Mean’s classes weren’t important for him. Unfortunately, Plan knew this issue was too complicated for him to get involved – but he felt bad for Mean again, that he had to hide his true passion about music and engineering.“And as for his schedules… We wanted to suggest this to you anyway – originally, we thought that you should invite all of your White Hand friends to go with you. But now it’s probably more opportune if it’s just the two of you. That way, we can test the waters on how the public reacts to rumours about the two of you – don’t worry, we can contain them if you remain cautious enough. A little bit of buzz can’t hurt. Mean’s agency is already planning the release of his first album for the end of the year, it will only help if people have reasons to talk about him. Don’t forget the White Hand dating rules, either. We can use them to shoot down any rumours from the family’s side. Or, if both of you are comfortable, we can announce it officially, like Rose and Vic did. We wouldn’t oppose you at all.”Like Rose and Vic… they were engaged.Did she mean that announcing their relationship officially would be treated like an engagement?This was… no.This was too much, too early. And he suddenly felt like a tool in the hands of Mean’s family – like an asset they wanted to secure – not someone who valued their son for who he was. It was quite transparent by now. She could say that they didn’t want to force Mean to become the openly gay face of their ad campaign, but really, that was clearly what they were pushing for.And somehow, they must have decided that having Plan as his boyfriend was better than him being single?Plan could agree to the home story when they had asked him for it. He had seen the need for it. He could accept that Mean was used to this kind of PR life, but Plan… he was a student and a researcher in training, he wasn’t a model or an influencer or whatever.When he heard Mean’s mum and his sister Joule talk, sometimes, he now realised it felt like living with the Kardashians. And right now, he really felt like he was part of a reality TV show.“Is this the price I have to pay, for room and board at your house? That I become a face in your ad campaigns alongside Mean?” he asked coldly.Surprisingly, Mrs Attachitsataporn didn’t notice his tone at all, nor his glare. Or if she noticed, she didn’t acknowledge it in the slightest.Neither did she answer his first question.“You are young, talented, and good looking, Plan, we’ve had offers from several entertainment agencies for you since the home story aired – we have refused them all and let our PR team manage you for now. But wouldn’t it be fun? You’re already the best-known physicist among people under the age of 25. There’s no harm in turning a little profit from it.”Plan inhaled sharply.How could she think it was a good thing, that he was the best-known physicist in that demographic? He doubted the quality of the education system, if these boys and girls, and young adults, thought of him, before they remembered Einstein, Newton, or even pop culture icons like Steven Hawking or Neil deGrasse Tyson.“What are the consequences if I say no?”His voice was positively aggressive by now.“Oh, nothing at all, my dear,” Mean’s mum replied with a gentle, if somewhat patronising smile stubbornly plastered on her face, “if you don’t want it, you can just go with your original plan, travel alone, and we help you get your visa. But think about it. We thought that Meanie and you would like to spend some quality time together, away from everything. I’m sure they’ll let you extend your stay long enough for you to visit the alps as well – in this season, there will probably already have snowed in the higher altitudes.”Of course, this sounded nice – spending time with Mean alone, almost like a holiday, something Plan could barely dare to dream about until now – but the price. The obvious manipulation behind it.
Damn.
“Let me talk to Mean about it,” Plan said, momentarily defeated.He still wanted to refuse, but he also wanted to vent… and to have Mean’s perspective before he threw it all out. If Mean wanted to come with him, if he could handle the PR and everything – it would be nice, having him with him while he travelled to a foreign country.“You do that.”Plan hadn’t eaten much breakfast, but he also didn’t have that big of an appetite. These last few days had been too stressful – and this talk hadn’t exactly helped his mood. He slowly rose from his seat.“Before you go…”He rolled his eyes.There was more?He didn’t hurry to turn his head towards her again.“Did you tell your family already? What is their opinion?”Plan sighed.Complicated question.“My grandparents don’t have a phone,” he explained, “they didn’t want to have a landline installed when the village was connected a few years ago – and they’re suspicious of mobile phones. I’ve only exchanged a few messages with the village teacher since I got here, to check in on them, and to let them know I’m fine, too. I presume they saw the thing on TV… but… I don’t think they care that much anymore. They encouraged me to take the scholarship and pursue this opportunity. And sometimes I think they expect me to fend for myself, now. They have raised my mum, and then they have lost her and were left with me, another baby, and had to start from scratch. They deserve their retirement.”“So, if the news broke, about you and Meanie… they wouldn’t cause any trouble?”Plan shrugged.He had no idea.His grandparents had always been down to earth and hands-on people. The only thing they had been worried about during his teens, was that he would get some poor girl pregnant too early, and that either another family would have to live through the hardship they had had with him – or that they were left with a great-grandchild and had to see the cycle repeat itself.But he hadn’t had the guts to tell them the reason why they wouldn’t have to worry about him getting any girl pregnant.“They might object to my boyfriend being rich,” he said with a shrug, “my family doesn’t have the best experience with... well, that. They’d probably call me stupid for trusting you.”“Why?”Plan really didn’t want to explain his own family history to… the potential in-laws, as she had put it earlier.But, ah, he hated that he couldn’t escape it… this was the first time he seriously contemplated moving out of this house again, just to gain a bit of independence.If it weren’t for Mean, he would have already left for sure. He couldn’t leave him here alone, though. He didn’t want to.“I don’t know who my father is. All my grandparents found was an expensive golden necklace that he must have given to my mum – and they have sold it off to pay for my expenses. They got such a good price for that item that they concluded he must have been rich. Plus, it is getting harder and harder to get a good price for the rice they farm. So, if there’s ever a reason for you to meet them, don’t expect a warm welcome.”He was relieved, when he could finally leave the breakfast table and turn his attention back to something more agreeable – the new data set they were due to receive later today and the answers that it would hopefully yield to them.Sometimes, he wished interactions with other people were more like physics.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Where are we going?”Mean sat in the back of his own car, next to Plan, who hadn’t let go of his hand since Mean had gotten home. He had already given up trying to figure out what was going on, and why Plan was acting so tight-lipped.Plan had obviously also enlisted the help of Tio, who was driving the car, and wasn’t any more talkative than Mean’s seething boyfriend.“To see the stars,” Plan answered, squeezing his hand.Finally, there was the hint of a smile on his face indicating that he wasn’t angry with him, like Mean had thought, even though he couldn’t come up with a reason for it.He still tried to make sense of this behaviour.Yesterday, they had both been so happy and relieved upon hearing that his family didn’t just support them, they had actually known about them already.Then, today, suddenly, Plan had started acting cold.Mean hadn’t thought too much about it at first, about the fact that he hadn’t received any messages from his boyfriend after their good morning texts for instance. He had figured that Plan was immersed in his research. He tended to forget about the world around him when he got into the zone.But Plan hadn’t shown up for lunch with White Hand, either, which was unusual these days.And when Mean had returned home from dance practice at his agency, Plan had already waited for him in the courtyard, with Tio in car on standby next to him – and he had basically kidnapped Mean into the car without explanation.“The Planetarium?”Despite his confusion, Mean couldn’t help but smile at the idea.He cherished their first non-date at the planetarium. Going there with Plan again on a proper date was tempting, not to mention romantic.Though… why was Plan being so cold and snappy towards him if he was taking him on a much-needed romantic break?“No,” Plan said, “real stars. I missed seeing them. But it’s too far to drive all the way up North to my home. Tio said he knows a spot in the countryside close by that is perfect for stargazing. We just need to leave the light-pollution of the city behind us.”There was another squeeze of his hand.Mean sighed.He hated how his heart jumped upon hearing these words, despite how unemotional Plan’s delivery had been. He wanted to know what was going on. At the same time, the idea of spending time somewhere away from everything was really enticing.There had been a lot of bullshit happening recently. Stargazing with Plan sounded like something that would make it better.But only if Plan cleared the air first.The annoyance he was keeping inside was palpable from miles away.It couldn’t only be because Plan was suddenly missing his home. There had to be more to it.Unfortunately, Mean also knew Plan well enough by now to understand that if he wanted an explanation for his behaviour, he was better off waiting for Plan to tell him, rather than trying to force it out of him.Plan usually didn’t keep things to himself, unless he felt pressured to reveal them, then he would shut everyone out.In the fight-flight-freeze triangle of reactions to high-stress situations, Plan tended to opt for flight first.Now that Mean had time to think about it, since Plan was silent and high-strung next to him, it occurred to him that he could even see this as a good sign. If Plan’s very sensitive flight reflex had been triggered and he was running away from something again, at least he had taken Mean with him this time.The warmth in his chest spread.Yes, he would see it like that. Plan was running away with him, rather than from him.They were already on the highway in the outskirts of Bangkok, the lights were getting scarcer, and the cars faster. It was probably safe to lean over to Plan a little and cradle his head against his shoulder, without having to fear getting exposed.He could feel Plan flinch slightly.But he didn’t push him away.He even adjusted himself a little, to accommodate him better.*~*~*Mean jerked up when the car stopped.He looked around himself a little disoriented.When had he fallen asleep in Plan’s lap?Tio had turned on the interior light of the car.Mean tentatively lifted his head to peek outside, but all he could see was deep darkness surrounding a narrow cone of light emanating from the car.While he was stretching himself after his nap, Plan had already joined Tio outside. Mean could see that they were quickly erecting a tent on what looked like a small natural platform in front of the car.He hurried to follow them outside.The warm humidity of the evening air hit him like a punch, after having spent the entire day in the air-conditioning of various buildings and then the car.But the air didn’t feel as stuffy as in the city. There was a nice, cool breeze blowing over them from below.Now that his eyes were getting accustomed to the darkness, he could see that they were on top of an overgrown hill overlooking flat rice fields, soft moonlight reflecting in the pools of water. The small platform where Tio and Plan were building the tent looked like only a small clearing in the wood.It was so quiet here.And loud at the same time.The constant low hum of the city, traffic, people, music… life, was all gone. Not even the constant buzz of cars and trucks on the highway could be heard anymore. Mean wondered how far out Tio had driven them.At the same time, he could hear the wind rustling through the treetops, crickets chirping, and occasionally even birds singing. It wasn’t dead silent. Just a different type of life.And then, there were the loud metallic clashes of Tio hammering pegs into the grassy floor to secure the tent.Finally, Mean remembered to move, and help Plan empty the trunk. He hummed a random melody to himself, while he carried bags and baskets into the tent.“Okay,” Tio said, when he was satisfied with his work on the tent and the small fire he had lit in front of it, “I’ll come to get you tomorrow around noon. You should still have mobile reception here, if you need it. In case of an emergency, you have the number of the farm nearby I gave you, don’t you, Plan? They’ll come to get you.”Plan smiled and nodded, holding up his phone and a piece of paper he had pulled from his pocket.They waved at Tio driving off, and Mean was taken aback by the sudden darkness when the car had disappeared around the corner and the only light came from Plan’s glowing phone display, the small crackling fire and the ascending moon in the sky.Mean flinched when Plan’s hand slowly found its way around his wrist and he was gently pulled in front of the tent, and onto the large picknick blanket that was spread there.“This is…”He couldn’t find a word to describe what he saw and sensed… overwhelmed by how fast his heart beat, how warm Plan’s body leaning against his shoulders felt… and then his gaze was directed up towards the sky, and the billions of stars shining their lights into the darkness of the universe.“Wow.”If Plan wasn’t so solidly and obviously next to him, Mean would have thought he was dreaming.All of this was surreal.“I don’t think I have ever seen the Milky Way clearly like that,” he said softly.“At home, it’s even clearer.”Plan sounded melancholic.“But this is… nice, too. Home doesn’t have you.”The small peck Mean received on his cheek burnt warmly against his skin. He automatically turned his head, only to meet Plan’s face right next to him, dark eyes shining warmly behind his new round glasses, his features only illuminated by the light of the flickering fire.They smiled at each other.“Flatterer.”“Just stating facts,” Plan said, just before he closed the last bit of distance between them and kissed him.They had kissed a lot in the weeks since they had first started dating, but this felt different.Titillating.Thirstier.The desire to go further, something Mean had always pushed down fervently before, whenever he had sensed it, suddenly burst wide open.It wasn’t that they had never talked about it – but so far, they had always agreed to wait and not rush things.Mean knew that Plan hadn’t gone past kisses with Win, either.They were both on the same level of inexperience. But the intimacy of the situation they were in made it feel natural to leave the mouth behind for his kisses, and start exploring more of the body in front of him with his lips and his fingers, peeling him out of his shirt, until a loud gasp from Plan’s mouth broke the strange spell.Their bodies were entangled with each other, it was hard to determine who was sitting in whose lap, their hair dishevelled from hands reaching for grip during passionate kisses. Both their shirts were half unbuttoned, light skin shining in the orange light of the fire.“Why did you stop?”Plan’s voice didn’t just sound accusatory, there was also a cute whine in it that nearly made Mean throw all reason to the wind and just let his body do the talking.But there were still so many open questions.“Are you sure you want this? You were in a strange mood all evening.”Instead of an answer, Mean found himself pushed back into the picknick blanket, and his boyfriend looming hungrily over him.“Kiss first, talk later.”Mean didn’t have it in him to protest.He didn’t want to protest.Not while he had these plump, kissable lips so close to his.He reached up to pull Plan down into another heated kiss, bucking up when Plan left his lips again, to kiss down his neck instead.“Ah, shit, Plan!” he moaned.It wasn’t the first time Plan had kissed his neck, but it had never felt so… hot.The thought that the strong, sucked kiss might leave a hickey for him to explain away the next day only disturbed him for a tiny fraction of a second, then Mean pushed it away.
Unimportant.
“Don’t cuss, it doesn’t suit you,” Plan chuckled, but his next kiss right below the spot he had just heated up felt so sensual and deliberate that Mean couldn’t help but moan and cuss again – and to plot for revenge.With this new determination, he managed to roll them over and trap Plan underneath him instead.He couldn’t resist smiling triumphantly at his boyfriend, before pinning him securely into the floor with his hands and mirroring Plan’s neck kisses until-“Damn, Mean, what are you-”It was Mean’s turn to chuckle.“Look who’s talking now.”“Not fair,” Plan whined, while Mean leaned in to start another trail below his ear, “besides… farmers are allowed to cuss.”“Who’s a farmer here, Mr Physics Genius?”“Ex-farmer. Still counts.”The pout on Plan’s lips was so cute that Mean opted to return there, suck and nibble at his lower lip the way he knew Plan loved.However, this was the first time this action cause Plan to whine loudly and push his hips up into Mean’s crotch. Mean barely noticed how obviously hard they both were, drowning instead in the sweet sounds coming out of Plan’s mouth, resonating from his entire body.“I love the sounds you make, ex-farmer,” Mean breathed against his mouth, savouring the protesting groan his words caused.“I’ll show you the sounds your pretty model mouth can produce, just you wait.”“How will you do that, while you’re trapped underneath me?”Mean knew he would regret these words the moment he said them.While he was initially confident that he could use his slightly larger body frame to keep Plan trapped underneath him, he hadn’t counted on his boyfriend’s deviousness.Plan only struggled against his grip a little bit at first, then he started to blow softly on Mean’s skin whenever he had an opportunity, until he finally found a soft spot on his neck where he was so ticklish that Mean’s grip around Plan’s wrists loosened.There was nothing else he could do.Plan pulled himself free, now that Mean had let go, and used his nimble fingers to tickle him until Mean couldn’t stop giggling and had to surrender.It took Mean a bit to find his bearing again, while he was lying on his back, now pinned down by Plan instead.“You didn’t play fair,” he pouted, barely able to wipe the smile from his lips or hold himself together enough not to break into new giggles.Plan grinned.“Did you play fair before, Mean?”Mean only grumbled in response.He honestly couldn’t protest too much, he liked the attention he was getting from Plan way too much.“Besides,” Plan said in mock earnest, “you’re a singer, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be the one sounding nice?”The protest Mean had on his lips got swallowed by Plan’s mouth covering his once more eagerly, and he didn’t care about their playful argument anymore, even when Plan’s mouth left his and callous hands were exploring his uncovered upper body unrestrained, because Plan suddenly grinded his hips against him, creating such delicious friction that Mean could only throw his head back and moan.“That’s what I’m talking about,” Plan murmured, and did it again.This time, Mean had been prepared enough not to be this loud – but he still felt drowned in heat and… desire.“Plan,” he panted, “Plan… please.”“Please, what?”Mean chuckled, dissolving some of the unbearable tension with it.“Tell me we have lube here somewhere.”Plans eyes widened, making Mean smirk in triumph. He could see that it wasn’t the question Plan had expected.“Yes, we do,” he said, hovering a few centimetres over Mean’s face in silence to calm himself down, before speaking earnestly again, “do you want to…”“Yes.”Mean breathed heavily a few times.Whenever they had talked about taking things further, they had never really delved into how they were going to do it… they had only vaguely agreed that they wanted to try out both ways… and see what each of them liked better.But now that Mean had mentioned lube, they would need to decide for tonight at least.Curiously, while the question might have carried some weight whenever they had mentioned it before – enough weight at least for them to tiptoe around it – it honestly didn’t matter to Mean at the moment.He was flustered, and his entire body wanted Plan. He wanted him so badly, he was rock-hard and aching for release, for closeness… some way, any way.Mean whined in protest when Plan released his grip around him and scrambled to the tent under the faint light of the flashlight on his phone. It felt like an eternity that he could hear nothing but Plan rummaging through bags in the tent, silently cursing under his breath, while Mean was lying outside under the stars, now topless, resisting the urge to reach into his pants to touch himself and relieve the unbearable tension he felt in his body.Only Plan could give him what he truly wanted, now.He was at his mercy and he didn’t even care.A relieved groan escaped him when Plan finally came crawling back, stripped of his shirt, too, without his glasses on, but most importantly carrying a bottle of lube and a strip of condoms.Thank heavens he had had the foresight to pack it. Mean felt so needy he wouldn’t have been able to vouch for himself and not go bareback and without lube, if that was what it took to get what he craved.It was almost scary, how desperately he wanted it.He had suppressed his sexuality and his desires for such a long time... even when he had finally started dating Plan, he had still held something back... but no more. It was all bursting out of him uncontrollably.Years of bottled up desire, set free.His body was subtly trembling.He almost cried with relief when Plan finally embraced him again and he could feel the soft, slightly moist skin of his naked chest against his own, and Plan’s gentle hand caressing his forehead.But he wanted more.So much more.“Please, Plan,” he whimpered.There was nothing playful in it anymore. The pause he had to suffer through while Plan had been busy searching for the lube had made him ache so much that he would feel pathetic, if he wasn’t so happy that Plan was back.“I know, baby, I’m gonna take good care of you now.”The kiss he received after these words felt sweeter, more caring than any before.Mean sighed and let himself fall into the soft caresses that he received from Plan’s wandering hands, so different from the hot and teasing touches before.He closed his eyes and let go.It didn’t take long for Plan’s coarse farmer’s hands to reach the hems of his pants, and even less for them to free him from the constraining fabrics and finally dispose of them entirely.Mean gasped when his hard cock jumped out of its prison, suddenly caressed by the cool nightly breeze around them. He didn’t feel ashamed or awkward about it, as he had always feared he would, before tonight had taken this unexpected turn.He trusted Plan’s promise. He knew he would take good care of him.The cooling effect of the breeze against his blazing hot erection only got more tingling, tantalising, when Plan squeezed lube onto the tip with gusto.Mean sighed and wringed underneath his boyfriend’s comforting body, and he very nearly lost it when a warm hand carefully wrapped around it and started to rub the lube all along his length.“Ah, damn, Plan, it feels so good! Please!”“Shhh, open your eyes, look at me.”He followed the request only tentatively.When he did, it felt like he was drowning in the soft smile around Plan’s eyes, like he had never seen him before.“Do you still want it, Mean?”There was no insecurity at all in the question, just tenderness, like Mean hadn’t known he had been craving for until now.He nodded and smiled, unable to give a useful verbal answer.As soon as he had moved his head, he could feel the lubed-up hand leaving his shaft and callously wander further down towards his rosy bud. Mean gasped when the hand reached it, despite anticipating the touch.The finger felt warm and comfortably slick on the sensitive skin. Mean had expected it to feel colder and was pleasantly surprised.“Relax, baby,” Plan muttered, “I read that it helps to touch yourself if it feels uncomfortable.”Mean smiled.Wasn’t he cute?“You read?”“Of course. Didn’t you… haven’t you been curious?”Obviously, he had been curious, too. But… he hadn’t dared to search for answers quite as openly as Plan must have, too scared to leave traces that could be used against him.Maybe… it was really all for the better, the way they were doing it now. He wouldn’t have wanted to accidentally hurt Plan due to naïve inexperience – while he felt deeply safe in his boyfriend’s hands.The rest of his thoughts were drowned in another deep kiss. So deep he barely noticed Plan applying more lube onto his fingers, and he only felt the rest being squeezed between his butt cheeks, because this new load felt as cool as he had expected the finger to feel in the first place.His soft sigh was entirely absorbed by Plan’s kiss.He allowed Plan to guide his hands towards his own thighs and followed the wordless instruction to hold himself open for him. Means hands were shivering so much he had to breathe through deeply a few times to steady himself.There was no hurry, the night was still young, and they were all alone under the starlit sky.“You’re doing so well, baby,” Plan hushed against his neck, causing Mean to arch up his chest into another sigh.Plan’s touches were deliberate, comfortingly methodical.Like a scientist.Mean let himself indulge in the thought, the mental image he saw in front of him, now. The young Plan from the childhood stories they had shared, sitting at the edge of a rice field under the stars, exploring the wonders of the universe – just like his finger now carefully entered Mean’s eagerly waiting hole.The images of Plan gazing at stars, at far-off galaxies in the dark comforted him through the unfamiliar feeling of being pried open by the exploring fingers that had entered, carefully distributing the lube inside of him.His breath evened out gradually, as he allowed himself to relax more.“How are you feeling?”Instead of a useful answer, all he could give was a soft peck on Plan’s lips.What could he say?It didn’t feel bad. It also didn’t feel particularly good, yet, though the prospect of being entirely united with Plan, soon, made him feel warm and even fuzzier than any of their kisses ever could before.Just as he opened his mouth to maybe try and answer the question, the exploring fingers inside of him found the sensitive bundle of nerves that was hidden there. An electrifying warmth travelled up along his spine until it expressed itself in a loud, needy moan.“Ah, Plan, you’re killing me! Fuck!” – “No, don’t stop! Don’t you dare!”But dare was exactly what Plan did.Mean could only softly protest, while Plan retired his fingers unhurriedly.He didn’t like it.He didn’t like the emptiness he felt now, the unfamiliar slickness of the lube inside and outside of him, cooling him whenever the breeze blew over his gaping hole a bit more stiffly.Without much dignity left, Mean let go of his own legs, position unchanged, and determinedly reached down to open Plan’s trousers. He didn’t want slow anymore, he wanted it all, now. And if the ever elusive Plan didn’t give it to him, he would take it himself.Even though he couldn’t see much from this position, he was determined to feel his way along his boyfriend’s body until he got a good grip around Plan’s own throbbing dick. The surprised gasp, followed by an angry groan went straight to Mean’s groin – and if Plan hadn’t stopped him gently, but firmly, he might have guided it inside of him all on his own.“Condom,” was all Plan managed to gasp.Mean had half a mind of screaming to forget about condoms, neither of them had done it before, the risk of diseases was minimal. But he grudgingly gave in to the point and waited impatiently for Plan to rip open the package and fumble it onto himself, while Mean’s entire body started to shake with anticipation again.“You’re so impatient,” Plan observed, and in Mean’s love-drunk mind it sounded every bit the efficient researcher that he was, “it’s cute.”“Don’t call me cute,” he pouted.“Handsome. My handsome baby. Don’t despair. We’re almost there.”Despite his words, Mean still felt the uncontrollable urge to reach down and guide him to the entrance faster, barely able to wait until Plan had applied lube onto himself.Mean sneakily used the general distraction to rub over Plan’s hard dick, both foreign and familiar, and… hot.He smiled at every angry gasp he got out of Plan that way.That was right.He could play dirty, too.Finally, finally, Plan positioned himself between his legs and matter-of-factly placed Mean’s feet onto his butt, allowing him to apply pressure if he wanted to demand for more.Mean panted heavily to accommodate the still very unfamiliar feeling of getting penetrated slowly, doing his best to dissolve any faint spikes of pain he encountered as fast as possible.It wasn’t too bad.On the contrary.The deeper Plan entered him, the more ecstatic he got about this new sensation of getting filled up slowly, deliberately.Though, if Mean had his way entirely, he would push him inside faster, less carefully.“Look at you, panting so hard for me already,” Plan said, half-mockingly, provoking Mean into action.He pulled Plan’s head down to meet his lips again forcefully, ravishing in the angry groan and audibly hitching of the other’s breath this caused.“Same,” Mean managed to breathe out excitedly, “same!”“You!”The rest of Plan’s protest was swallowed by a messy kiss.Mean barely knew how to deal with this onslaught of old and new sensations; the comfortable tingling of their tongues playing with each other, and the advancing stretching inside, as he was penetrated deeper, Plan’s tip rubbing along that infuriatingly sensitive hidden spot, sending more electric jolts through his entire body the more he stimulated it.“So good,” he sighed.Plan hadn’t even fully bottomed out inside of him, and Mean already didn’t know what to do with himself.Their eyes met, smiling so happily it could make him cry, and for a moment the world stood still, nothing but the two of them, looking at each other, drinking each other in, smiling softly in the flickering light of the fire next to them, and the billions of stars spanning over them.Then, Plan finally started to thrust, and Mean saw a different kind of stars in front of his eyes, desperately trying not to leave the intoxicating gaze of his boyfriend, while his body wringed underneath him.“So good, fuck, you’re so good to me. I can’t… you-”“Touch yourself,” Plan panted, his breath getting faster, more unsteady as he moved.“I can’t,” Mean protested, “I’ll come.”“Then come. I want to… feel it, I want to feel… you come first. Around me. Please. Give it all to me.”The way he whined that word, please, woke something more in Mean.He immediately let go of Plan’s shoulders, where he had gripped onto desperately, and reached for his own throbbing cock, to do as he was asked.And as he had anticipated, the additional stimulation was too much... too… much.He only got to rub himself maybe twice or three times, before his body couldn’t take anymore.The relentless pounding he received inside of him, the seriously sloppy kisses, skin rubbing against skin, and his own strokes on his twitching cock all built up into one big, tense wave of pleasure, that crashed over him until his entire body contracted and released him into a hot, liberating orgasm.He was still riding it out, overwhelmed by the unknown intensity of the utter relief he felt, when Plan’s movements suddenly stopped, he stilled and collapsed on top of him with a deep, satisfied groan.The touch of their sweaty bodies against each other was too hot, too sticky, too much.After Plan had pulled out of him as if in a trance, Mean carefully pushed him off of him, next to him, nothing but their shoulders touching still.They both lay next to each other on their backs quietly, catching their breaths.Mean was smiling from ear to ear, hazily… happy.He remembered how they had fallen asleep next to each other on the floor of the planetarium, the artificial night sky above them. Now they were both staring at the vastness of the universe spanning over them, the real thing.After a while, Mean felt Plan’s hand searching for his, and reached for him, to hold hands again.“Thank you,” he said into the calm night.“Likewise.”Sensing that the sensitivity had passed, Mean slowly pulled Plan closer to him, until his head came to rest on his shoulder and they were cuddling, like they loved to do on the patio outside of Plan’s room at home.“Was this what you had in mind when you kidnapped me and dragged me here?”Plan tilted his head up slightly and shook his head.“It was a vague possibility, but no.”
Then why?
Mean didn’t ask it out loud. He knew Plan was aware of the question.After a deep sigh, Plan finally made an attempt at answering it.“I talked to your mother this morning…”When Plan’s voice trailed off and nothing followed, Mean chuckled.“And this made you so horny that you decided to drag me up here and fuck me?”Plan also chuckled.“Sure.”He breathed through a few times, then he got serious again:“I just… You know… on the one hand, I’m glad that your family is so accepting of us. Not just the fact that you are gay… but that you are with me. They have been nothing but welcoming to me.”“I’m sensing a but…”Plan sighed once more.“Yeah… I was gonna say... on the other hand, it feels like they don’t accept us for us. Or me… for myself. It’s so calculating. Your mum suggested that you travel with me to Geneva next month. It sounds sweet, you know, that they would want us to go there together, and I’d love to have you with me, help me get through all these scary unfamiliar things. But then… she revealed that she only wants you to come with me so you can film an infomercial for your airline. I think they hope they can catch us together and draw profit from our relationship whether we agree or not. I don’t know… I can’t shake the feeling that they were pushing me onto you all along.”Another sigh.Mean had a hard time processing all of this. He knew that his parents liked to instrumentalise family affairs for PR reasons. A long-standing philosophy of his mother’s was that if the content was real, if they didn’t have to fake for example their family bond, then there was no harm in turning a profit from it.But… Mean had never expected her to try and push their relationship out into the open like that, even if it were framed as a deep friendship only or they somehow managed to respect their own choices in name at least.It still felt dirty.“I know us getting together has nothing to do with their schemes. We didn’t even know we were living at the same place when we first noticed each other… I’m glad. Otherwise, It’d feel like I was groomed by your family to become your… I don’t know what exactly. She kept calling me her potential son-in-law. She even suggested we could make it official like Rosie and Vic… like we were engaged. I like you a lot, Mean, but-”Mean could only nod in agreement.“I can’t believe…”“Yeah…”It was Mean’s turn to sigh.“I’m sorry.”Plan turned his head a little further and smiled at him.“Not your fault. We don’t choose the families we’re born into,” he said softly.“Still…”Before Mean could start to fret over it, he was comforted by a gentle kiss on his cheek.“I was mulling it over all day,” Plan then continued, “my first instinct was to move out of your house, get independent of your family, start again. But then… I didn’t want to leave you behind, and without an explanation. I just… I still don’t know what to do. About your family. And even more urgently, about the trip to Geneva, about the rumours flying around. It’s so much. It made me miss home, the simple life. Seeing the stars. So, I thought…”Mean’s heart melted all over again, finally hearing Plan’s reasoning.“… you thought taking me here, gazing at the stars, would help you find answers?”Plan nodded.“The stars usually have answers for me. I didn’t expect you to be so damn tempting and hot, though.”Mean grinned.“I guess that’s me.”“I don’t regret it, though,” Plan clarified, “I’ll never regret that. Thank you… for being my first. I’ll cherish it, whatever happens.”“Likewise.”A warm, wandering hand caressed over his chest. Mean closed his eyes and happily received the intimacy. Plan’s words echoing still, I’ll cherish it, whatever happens.So would Mean.“Ah,” Mean wriggled his body contently, pulling Plan tighter against himself, “I could stay like this forever. Just us. Here.”“How are you feeling, by the way? Does it hurt?”The question caught him off guard, because it was so far from his main concerns at the moment that he couldn’t answer it easily.“No… not really? It feels a bit weird, unfamiliar… like I’ll be sore tomorrow. But I like that I’ll probably wake up remembering what you did. Where you were.”Plan shifted and propped himself up on Means chest, looking at him thoughtfully.“So… you don’t regret it… that it turned out this way? We never really decided… I mean… I would have been okay with it, too.”Mean smiled.“You took good care of me. I’m happy, Plan.”“Still, we can switch… next time.”Mean closed his eyes and laughed.“You don’t have to force yourself, if you don’t…”When he opened his eyes again, Mean looked into Plan’s suspicious gaze, face hovering over him directly once more.“Why do I get the feeling you don’t want me to? Was it that good? Weren’t we supposed to fight over who gets to top?”Mean smirked.He liked how worked up Plan was suddenly getting about this, as if Mean’s answers were posing an intriguing mystery for him. It would almost be worth keeping it that way for a bit longer, and play with Plan’s natural curiousity.It had been a spur of the moment decision. And if he was honest with himself, Mean had also expected that when it came to it, he wouldn’t be too keen on putting his butt on the line.But such was life, some things you couldn’t anticipate, until they were upon you.Mean had enjoyed himself much more than he had expected. It might also have been the fact that the had been with someone he truly liked, maybe loved even, if he allowed himself to – but he had never felt such a deep, all-encompassing kind of orgasm before, and he liked how the different types of stimulation he had received had melded into a magnificent whole.He suspected that something would be missing, if he were to top next time.Maybe he would have to ask Plan to at least stick a finger inside of him, if they switched, to give him a taste of that same experience.How curious.How unexpected.“Let’s go inside the tent before we fall asleep out here.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The sun had already risen over the flat rice fields in front of Plan, when he crawled out of the tent. He stretched lazily a few times and made himself comfortable on the picknick blanket.What a peaceful morning!He smiled to himself.It had been the right decision to come out here. It wasn’t exactly home, the land here was too flat for one thing, and the forest around them not thick and wild enough, but it was infinitely better than the noise of Bangkok. And not just that – Plan felt light, refreshed.
Satisfied.
While he started to rekindle the burnt-down fire with new wood, he hummed softly to himself, thinking back at last night. He hadn’t been aware how wound-up he had really been. Not just regularly tensed-up due to all the difficult adjustments he had had to go through since he had arrived in Bangkok… now that they had done… it, he realised that he had been frustrated in that department, too.Sure, he had relieved himself plenty, whenever he could find enough privacy not to risk getting interrupted… and after every brave excursion into the abyss of advice on the internet as well. But until now, he hadn’t truly understood how much he had craved the real thing, real contact… and his ridiculously hot and handsome boyfriend, specifically.Now he was fine.His stomach grumbled.Okay, maybe he wasn’t entirely fine, yet.They had packed for both dinner and breakfast when he had prepared the getaway with Tio’s help yesterday. But then, of course, Mean and he had preferred to eat each other instead of having dinner.Thank heavens for cool boxes. He hoped that the cooling elements had lasted through the night – he was starving, and now that the fire was crackling in front of him again, he was determined to prepare a feast for himself and for the sleepyhead inside of the tent.Luckily, he had watched his grandma plenty of times while she prepared food over an open fire, and he had occasionally helped the villagers with food preparation, too, when they had needed all hands on the rice terraces while he was visiting home during a rare weekend off from school.The air around him soon started to smell of delicious spices alongside the faint smoke from the fire, and Plan began to wonder if he should check on Mean inside the tent. It wasn’t normal to sleep through breakfast preparations like this, was it?Maybe yesterday’s activities had worn Mean out more than he had thought at the time?Plan remembered asking him how he was feeling, and Mean had all but laughed at his worries. He had even demanded more, once they had settled inside of the tent; and he had turned down Plan’s tentative offer to at least give his butt a bit of respite and switch it up.That was another unexpected turn last night had taken.One of the reasons, other than curiosity, that had driven Plan onto his expeditions into the depths of the internet, as well as to the pharmacy to stock up on lube and condoms, had been the expectation that he would be the one suffering if they weren’t properly prepared.Neither of them had been overly enthusiastic about the idea of offering their butt to the other before it had happened, and Plan had naturally assumed that he would lose the argument in the end, if push came to shove. Mean had too many advantages: he was taller and more muscular than him, he was richer, and Plan was basically living off of Mean’s family’s good graces. If they really couldn’t agree, it would always be Mean’s choice in the end.Yet, Plan had suddenly found himself on top, surprisingly naturally in the end.He liked that, taking care of Mean’s desperate needs… listening to him ask for more and deciding how much he would get.But... now he was wondering if maybe he had gotten the short end of the stick after all – or, why else had Mean turned him down so decidedly the second time around?He shouldn’t think if it that way.The entire night had been much better and more satisfying than he could have hope for either way. That was all that counted.A soft and whiny groan from inside the tent tore him out of his thoughts.“Everything okay, baby?” he called, feeling a pang of guilt hearing Mean like this.He couldn’t leave the pan on the fire unattended, either, though, so he didn’t turn around and help.“I’m fine,” Mean groaned.He didn’t sound fine. Neither did he look it, when he finally crawled out of the tent rather awkwardly.“Really?”Plan removed the pan with the fried eggs from the fire onto a flat stone nearby and moved over to Mean to give him a short good morning kiss.“Ahhh, really,” Mean grimaced.“You sure you don’t regret saying you’ll be happy about a reminder of where I have been?”Plan smirked and made it sound light and joking, but he felt self-conscious. He never wanted to hurt Mean and yesterday, his boyfriend had insisted that he wasn’t hurting at all...“I’m sure,” Mean answered, smirking back. “I’m just not used to sleeping on the floor like this, that’s all. Argh, my bones hurt.”Plan laughed.“Awww... you’re like that princess from the fairy tale who couldn’t sleep on twenty mattresses and cushions and blankets, because there was a pea underneath.”Mean prodded his side.“Who are you calling a princess, now?”It shocked Plan how hurt he sounded, and he didn’t make the connection to yesterday at first. What did that have to do with being a thin-skinned aristocrat?“Oh.” Plan covered his mouth in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean... I meant that you grew up like a prince in a castle… and… and everything. It’s funny that you are so sensitive to this, like the princess in that fairy tale, not because... I mean, I have been sleeping on the floor like this all my life. It’s just normal. Even now, I can’t sleep in the bed in my room because it’s too soft...”There was no reaction at first. Then, Mean suddenly chuckled.“Too soft... really?” he shook his head. “You sound like one of these hard-ass action movie characters.”Plan pouted.“It isn’t hard-ass, I’m just not used to mattresses...”He let his voice trail off and busied himself with breakfast instead, handing a paper plate over to Mean and setting up water to boil over the fire for tea.With so many things going well between Mean and him, it was easy to forget just how different their backgrounds really were, in more aspects than just money or dealing with publicity-conscious parents.“Wow, the food smells really good,” Mean commented, happily filling his paper plate with all the different dishes Plan had prepared.Plan nodded.“There’s just something special about food prepared over fire, even if it’s just simple stir-fried vegetables and rice like this.”He missed home.And, he didn’t want to pack up and leave this place by lunchtime.Maybe he could write to Tio not to pick them up until tomorrow.With a sigh, he pushed that thought away.Mean had an important schedule this evening that he couldn’t miss. Until lunchtime was all they could afford to stay away. And Plan should pass by Professor Marsden’s office and talk about the presentation he was preparing for Geneva.
Geneva.
Just the topic he had tried to avoid thinking about.On paper, the decision was ridiculously easy: he should just go by himself, pay for it from the budget he had received from the university and his scholarship money if that wasn’t enough. He should leave Mean and his family out of it, that was the safest and most sensible option.But... as hard as it was to admit, the thought of travelling to a foreign country all by himself scared him. Even if the university sent someone to accompany him, maybe one of Prof. Marsden’s assistants or the Professor herself, it would be unsettling. Before moving there to attend university, he had never even been to Bangkok before. His life until now had revolved around his grandparents’ village and school in Chiang Mai.He liked the idea of having Mean with him on his first trip abroad, or even all of White Hand, if going as a couple was too risky. He needed friends he could rely on.And his boyfriend.“Plan?”Mean’s voice stopped his ponderings. He hadn’t noticed he had gone quiet for too long.“What’s with the sigh?”Plan sighed once more.“I was just... reminded why we came here in the first place... and that I still don’t know what to do.”In response, Mean put down his almost empty plate and slowly leaned over to him, his lips grazing over Plan’s neck, and the sensitive bruised spots he had left there yesterday. If he kissed him any more intensely, it would hurt, but like this, it felt... good, tickling.“About my family?” Mean asked, rhetorically. “Just forget about them. I’ll sort it out with them. Trust me.”It would be so easy giving in, letting Mean kiss it better again, acting as if there was no world outside to worry about.But it wasn’t night-time anymore. This was the unforgiving daylight and escaping reality was much harder.“Not your family. I’m trying to figure out what to do about Geneva. I... I’m nervous. It’s so much new stuff I’ve never done before, travelling abroad, attending a conference, having a presentation in English in front of so many people, and everything. And... I guess... I like the idea of you coming with me, like your mum suggested. But I don’t like the idea of getting exposed because of it, deliberately or accidentally, doesn’t matter. We can’t afford anymore rumours, and we already have hickeys to cover up as it is. We were careless last night...”“It’s unfair.”Plan could only nod in agreement.But the world wasn’t fair. That was how things were.“Maybe I should write to Tio to bring make-up to cover up…” Plan’s eyes remained on the visible bruises on Mean’s neck while he tried to get his thoughts onto a more pragmatic level.Sure, the hickeys could look worse – but it was still reckless leaving traces at all.There had always been fans of White Hand who were following their every move on campus, that was part of the deal when you joined the group. There had always been gossip about their personal lives, too; but since the rumours about gay members of their group had started circulating, the scrutiny had gotten much more intense.Mean had an event this evening, if they failed to cover up all traces properly, someone would take a picture, and someone else would zoom in and find the marks. It would look suspicious if people figured out they had been out camping together, and both of them came back with strangely dark ‘mosquito bites’.“Wait,” Mean turned around, still a little awkward – Plan just decided to believe him that it was only because his delicate bones weren’t used to sleeping on the floor – and came back with his backpack a short while later.“Ah, yes, I knew I still had some in my bag.”He held out a small tube of concealer, half-empty already and frequently in use, by the looks of it.Plan smiled at him.“Good thing you are a model, isn’t it?”“Just because of this?”Mean shook the tube provocatively and held it up over his cheeks in a professional modelling pose.There was a clear challenge in his gaze – one that made Plan’s smile turn into a smirk, and tempt him into a smooth movement towards him, leading into an oddly passionate kiss.Having make-up in his backpack in case he needed to cover up blemishes on his skin was the least important advantage of having a model boyfriend in Plan’s opinion. What of it – he sometimes still wondered why someone as stunningly handsome, and rich, and creative, as Mean would ever agree to date a country bumpkin and physics nerd like him, no matter how cute he found him.“Ah, stop being so good at kissing,” he complained, when Mean was already in the process of pushing him back onto the picknick blanket – as if there weren’t food containers and unfinished plates around them that would create a mess, “how am I supposed to function…”“It’s only fair,” the hunger in Mean’s eyes was overwhelming, “You’ve given it to me so good last night.”“You do the work next time…”A cheeky shimmer came to Mean’s hungry eyes.“No.”“Whyyy not?”Plan wasn’t whining… no, seriously… he wasn’t, it was just… why was Mean being like this? The way he looked at him, as if he wanted to devour him on the spot, and then he just wouldn’t… what had happened last night?“Because I like hearing you beg for it.”He did not…“I won’t beg,” Plan complained, still sounding rather whiny even in his own ears, “fine, if you don’t want to… fine.”“You will beg, eventually,” Mean smirked, “I know you are curious.”Where did he learn that? When did he figure him out so well?Yes, damnit, Plan was curious. He tried to argue with himself that it was just on principle, because he was a curious person by nature, and of course he would want to experience everything. But that wasn’t all there was. Mean seemed to have enjoyed himself very much… maybe there was something more to it than Plan had expected.And… Mean was hot, when he looked at him like this all demanding, announcing he would make him beg. There was a mysterious, sensual aura to him that the goofy carefree model, musician, and engineer had rarely ever shown outside of photo shoots before.He was just about ready to give in, crawl back into the tent, and do as Mean demanded: beg for it.But then, daylight really had a funny way of putting things in perspective.“Ah,” Plan sighed, sat up slowly, and looked over the rice fields instead of at Mean who had carefully rolled off of him, miraculously avoiding the plates around them, “it won’t get easier now, will it?”Rather than joining his sigh, as Plan had somewhat expected, Mean chuckled.“Begging? I agree, it’ll get so much harder if you wait. You better do it, soon.”Plan slapped Mean’s upper arm in retaliation – which unfortunately also made him look at him once more.Well… Mean wasn’t wrong, it was just not what he was thinking…“Where is your mind going again?” He shook his head. “Tks. Seriously.”Despite his words, Plan smiled and took his boyfriend’s hand.“I meant…” another sigh, “I meant pretending that we’re just friends in public. I wonder how the girls are doing it, and for so long, too. Every time I look at you, I want to kiss you, and I hate it when I can’t be close to you.”“Even now?”It was unfair. Mean’s gaze was so tempting, no matter how much effort he made to look deceptively innocent.“Argh, you’ll be the death of me.”Luckily – or maybe not, judging by the heat Plan could feel inside of his body – Mean laughed in response, and visibly attempted to look less inviting, with little success.“Is it this hard?”How could Plan answer, other than with an exasperated groan. He doubted that they could have a serious talk, as long as it was like this between them. It turned out that once you got a taste of something good, it was much harder to resist than before.Still, no matter what would happen, he was too proud to really go down and beg.For now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mean was worried.Damn it, he should just have turned off his phone before entering the venue.His agency had booked him to attend an award gala again. This time, he was even invited to present a minor award by himself in front of a high-level audience, giving him a precious opportunity to show his face on stage and hopefully gain traction for his music career.He had been very excited about this opportunity on the way here, even if he was once again only invited as a handsome face and not as the musician he was striving to be. This gala was more prestigious than any of the others he had attended so far. Even better, the organisers had surprisingly given clearance to his agency’s request that he could mention his upcoming first single while he was on stage.Today would be the first step towards officially launching his music career, and not just placing hints and teasers.Everything had been set up for a useful and productive evening schedule – which was still somewhat of an exception as far as official schedules went – until he had received two unexpected messages from Plan:
Your parents are taking me to attend a dinner event at the Chamber of Commerce. Any tips?
Your mum says I shouldn’t have informed you. You shouldn’t worry about it and concentrate on your event. They don’t take me there as your boyfriend. According to her, many people at the CoC asked them about the physicist that they have taken in, and they have to “show me off” and it can’t be delayed.
In Mean’s mind, there was an unwritten word at the end of the second message: help!If he wasn’t so worried about Plan’s fate in the lions’ den, Mean would be angry with his parents. There was no way they hadn’t known about this before, but they had deliberately waited with the invitation until Mean was out of the house for his own important event.Of course, Plan couldn’t say no to Mean’s parents – he was living in their house for free, after all.Mean believed that the core of his mum’s message was true. They wouldn’t expose their son’s relationship like that, without consulting him. On the contrary, they had very obviously separated them from each other for this event on purpose.He could only guess their intention. It was probably something stupid, like making sure Mean didn’t cause trouble. He hated this type of event with a passion, and in the past, he had always been creative in his attempts to get out of them. Though if they thought he was that dense and would stir up trouble when his boyfriend’s reputation was on the line, they were really underestimating him.It wasn’t as if his parents had ever discouraged him from trying to evade the few responsibilities he had towards the family business. They would somewhat scold him in front of their peers to save face and try to make him attend, but as a teenager, Mean had quickly figured out that his parents were actually secretly happy about his behaviour.At times, they were so paranoid about him developing even a remote interest in the family business, that they preferred him as a rebellious teenager. It was really obvious how different his parents’ treatment of him was from everyone else’s parents. Most of his exploits had been instigated and run by Viola, who was set to take over a branch of her family’s business by her parents, and she had always gotten into a world of trouble for acting up.Not that it had ever prevented her from trying again.Before he had found out about her secret relationship with Rose, and the marriage-swap agreement she had with her brother, Mean had been convinced that Viola was doing everything in her power to get disinherited from her family and start something on her own.But clearly, she didn’t do everything, or she wouldn’t have made such an agreement with her brother. Hiding their true sexual orientation with a scheme like that could only mean that she didn’t actually want to fall out with her family completely.In the end, they were both more filial than their rebellious image suggested.But… that was beside the point right now.The point was, today, Mean’s parents had intentionally taken Plan to face the lions on his own. Which… could only worry Mean, and rob him of most of his concentration on his own event, despite all the cameras on him.Someone like Plan attending a Chamber of Commerce event on his own was worse than a fish out of water. No matter how much of a physics genius he was, he was still someone who grew up in a backwater village in absolute poverty.Mean had been reminded of the fundamental difference of their background again just a few days ago, in the morning of their camping trip together.How could he forget? Plan had made fun of him for being like the princess on a pea, because he wasn’t accustomed to sleeping on the floor. Unlike Mean, he had also effortlessly known how to cook a delicious meal over an open campfire.How could such a person hope to survive surrounded by posh and insanely powerful people?At best, they would be treating him like a curiosity, somewhat like an animal at a zoo to be gawked at – and at worst, they might try to pull him into their own nefarious schemes.Even Mean himself, who was, after all, the son of one of the richest families in the country, was completely out of his depth at these types of events.It could only end in a disaster, and Mean wasn’t there to protect him.What were his parents thinking?Before he really needed to put his phone away, if he didn’t want to be filmed secretly texting under the table, he could only send one short question to Plan:
Do you know someone there? Maybe White Hand?
The answer came immediately:
No, nobody I know. Just your parents and your sister Tara.
Mean had to hide his frown and force himself to keep the handsome smile the organisers of the event expected of him.This was a nightmare.Plan, all on his own at the Chamber of Commerce. Mean’s parents would probably abandon him to fend for himself as soon as they finished the introduction, they were usually very busy with their own business agenda at these types of events. And Tara… well, she was serious about her studies and the family never needed to force her into wanting to manage a branch of the conglomerate. She would have her own goals at that event, too.She had also never shown any real interest in Plan, despite eating at the same table for weeks.Come to think of it… Mean didn’t even know if his older siblings knew about his relationship with Plan. He had only talked to his parents about it. Joule had probably found out, if his mum had seen through it, but Tara? He doubted that she was even interested.It was unlikely that she would help Plan out at all, unless he was blatantly misbehaving, to the point it would threaten the family reputation.There was no more time to mull over it, the warm-up crew on stage just announced that the live broadcast would start, soon, and Mean could only put his phone away and smile.Good luck, baby, he thought.*~*~*As soon as his scheduled appearance was over, Mean went off towards the parking lot, ignoring most interview requests and his managements’ congratulations on a good performance presenting the award.He told his personal manager that he had somewhere else to go and that he should tell anyone who asked, that Mean had another schedule afterwards.This behaviour cost him many opportunities to network with important people in the music industry, but his head wouldn’t be in it, anyway.He needed to know how Plan was doing, and rescue him, if necessary.And then, he also needed to conserve energy to scream at his parents for doing this behind his back.He urged the driver to go as fast as he could, nervously shifting in his seat whenever they were held up at a traffic light. Now that he could use his phone again, he was distressed to find out that Plan was unreachable and hadn’t sent anymore messages, either.At least he could finally find out where the Chamber of Commerce was meeting tonight. If it was a dinner, it had to be at some high-end restaurant or one of the big hotels. Since these events weren’t exactly public, he could only enlist the help of the other White Hand members to help him find out the location.Luckily, Viola’s parents were also attending the event – though without their children – and she could get the answer from the housekeeper without raising suspicions.It was in the main dining hall of the most prestigious hotel in the city. Like most high-end domestically owned hotels, it belonged to the Puangmalee family conglomerate, who was no doubt acting as host and sponsor of the event.This information comforted Mean just a little bit. At least, there was no history of bad blood between his family and the Puangmalees. On the contrary, as pillars of the tourism industry, both family businesses had an inherent interest to cooperate.Of course, they wouldn’t be the only family present.Ah, he really hoped Plan was okay.As soon as the car arrived at the hotel, Mean jumped out, not even bothering to hide his face. Luckily, the doormen knew who he was, and immediately let him in. They even smilingly showed him the way to the dining hall.By the time he entered it, the dinner had already ended, and participants were scattered around the room, some talking to each other at the round dinner tables, others standing at the edges or the room or by the bar having drinks.Mean let his gaze wander over the room, but he couldn’t find any trace of Plan. Neither could he see his parents or his sister.Had they already left?He stood a bit lost by the door, until a waiter came over to him and asked him if he could help him with something.“Do you know who my parents are?” Mean asked.“You’re from the Attachitsattaporn family, aren’t you?”Mean nodded.“Have you seen them? I can’t find them.”The waiter looked around, clearly thinking about it, then excused himself to get the head waitress and brought her over to Mean.“You are looking for your parents?”“Mhm.”The head waitress smiled awkwardly, before she answered:“They are currently in a private room in talks with the Puangmalee family. Should I call them for you? Is it urgent?”So, Mean had been right in assuming that they would be here for business. But then, what about Plan?He shook his head.“It isn’t urgent,” he replied, “do you know if my White Hand friend is with them, too?”“The physics genius?”If he wasn’t so concerned with Plan’s wellbeing, Mean would frown. Plan’s reputation was really travelling fast – or maybe this was how his parents had introduced him.“Yes. I’m actually looking for him. I have some White Hand business to discuss with him.”The head waitress nodded.“Last time I saw him, he was talking in the lounge area over there, on the other side of the bar. I’ll take you.”Mean’s heart started beating fast, while he followed the waitress to the bar, and behind the screen that was shielding an array of comfortable assemblies of armchairs and coffee tables from outside view. So, this was why he hadn’t seen Plan.Now, however, he spotted him immediately, and his heart sank.A very handsomely dressed and made-up Plan sat in an armchair in the far corner of the lounge area, talking animatedly with two people: the chairman and founder of the biggest food processing conglomerate in the country, and of course one of the richest people in the room, and the current CEO of Startech, the number one company in Thailand.How? How could his parents let him talk to these people? They were very powerful and very cunning, what did they want from Plan?Mean thanked the waitress and rushed into the corner towards Plan as fast as he could without appearing impolite.He had almost reached them, when Plan finally looked up and spotted him. His face lit up in a charming smile and he waved him over.“Mean!” he shouted cheerfully. “I didn’t think you’d come!”“What are you doing here?” Mean asked, unable to hide his bafflement.“I was just talking with grandpa here about traditional terrace farming, and with uncle about the chances of finding evidence for supersymmetry, since experiments continue to turn out empty.”Grandpa? Uncle? Did Plan know who he was talking to?Mean was somewhat impressed that these high-level people would be able to follow Plan’s remarks on such topics, but that was besides the point. What worried him more was how relaxed and happy Plan looked, as if he wasn’t attending a scary event with the most powerful people in the country, but just chatting with some random acquaintances about his favourite topics.“Do you… want to join us, Mean? Were you looking for me?”Plan’s question finally shook him out of his speechlessness.“Err, yes… I was.”Confused, he sat down in one of the empty armchairs, deliberately not next to Plan, to prevent himself from accidentally betraying their intimate relationship.Plan hadn’t been wrong, when he had sighed about it in front of the tent on their camping trip – keeping his hands off of Plan had become much more difficult recently. He constantly wanted to be close to him, even if it was just to hold his hand or softly touch his arm.But of course, he couldn’t.“Ah, Young Master Phiravich! You have been chosen as White Hand leader this year, haven’t you? Congratulations!” the old chairman said cheerfully, even before Mean had had time to reply.Mean nodded meekly, and only now remembered to properly greet the elders and excuse himself for barging in like that.“Oh, not at all, not at all. White Hand is always welcome at our events, isn’t it so?” the chairman asked towards the CEO on the other side of him.This was new.Usually, Mean had been more or less openly sneered at during such events for being the irresponsible and needlessly rebellious youngest son of the Attachitsataporn family. He wasn’t used to being treated like an adult.“I heard you’re going to release an album, soon?”The question was asked without much enthusiasm, and Mean recognised the polite small talk behind it immediately.“Indeed, I will. I have just announced it at the X award show earlier, that’s why I’m late tonight. But I couldn’t leave my fellow White Hand member all alone during his debut at the Chamber of Commerce,” he explained with a disarming smile.This earned him approving nods and smiles from the two older men.“You are doing a good job as White Hand leader, Phiravich,” the chairman said.Despite how nice the words were, the subtext didn’t escape Mean, either. What the tone in his voice actually implied was that Mean was surprisingly doing a better job than everyone had expected of him. It wasn’t much of a secret that the other families weren’t overly fond of the idea of Mean taking over, but after Viola had declined the leadership position, he had been the only viable choice in their eyes.Regardless of the intent, Mean still couldn’t help taking the praise with an honest smile.After his leadership capabilities had been constantly dragged through the mud by the mysterious Black Hand leader, it felt good hearing positive words from the main sponsors at least. Maybe he really was doing a better job than expected.“You are too kind, sir.”“This young man here,” the chairman put his hand over Plan’s shoulders in an approving, almost parental gesture, “is a real diamond in the rough. Let me tell you, Mr Kijworalak, if you feel inadequately supported by the Attachisataporn family, I’d be happy to welcome you at my house. Such talent needs to be nurtured.”Plan shifted, clearly embarrassed, and Mean could only guess what he was thinking.“I can assure you, my family is taking good care of him,” Mean immediately answered through gritted teeth, skillfully hidden behind a smile. “He might already have told you that he has been invited to attend a conference at CERN next month. My family has decided to let him travel with our airline for free, and we’ll also cover the expenses for the rest of the White Hand members, to allow him to travel comfortably with his trusted friends. It is his first trip abroad, of course, White Hand has to support him adequately.”Mean caught Plan’s confused gaze.They hadn’t actually finished discussing the Geneva problem among themselves, yet. It was Mean’s spur of the moment decision to go with this solution – and now that he saw Plan’s conflicted facial expression, he wasn’t sure if it had been the right call.Plan would probably be angry with him for taking a decision without him, but it couldn’t be helped.Mean needed to make sure that Plan was properly established as someone under the protection of his own family – and at the same time, prove that he was a responsible leader of White Hand who took care of his members. He knew that his parents would gladly shoulder the travel expense after he explained the situation – or else he could always take it out of his personal funds.All he could hope for was that Plan would understand him, and wouldn’t feel snubbed too badly.“Let us know if you need additional support,” the CEO said, looking at Plan, very deliberately avoiding Mean. “Your remarks on supersymmetry were very interesting. I heard that they are still running experiments at CERN to try and produce the missing superpartners. I would be interested to hear your opinions on it once you return.”Mean had to control himself not to glare at the man. He couldn’t afford to offend the richest person in Thailand like this.What interest did he have in theoretical physics, he was a businessman?Meanwhile, Plan smiled gracefully and accepted the gold-plated business card that was handed to him.The chairman couldn’t be outdone like that, of course, and also handed him his personal business card with a smile and the invitation to come and talk to him about terrace farming some more.Apparently, the chairman had humble beginnings himself, and used to cultivate rice in the same manner as Plan’s grandparents. Plan must have told him about life in the village, because the chairman mentioned a new product line they were designing: they wanted to sell traditionally produced goods under a special label catering towards foreign tourists, and might consider a collaboration with Plan’s home village. The proceeds would be used to fund the preservation of these old techniques, making it an example of corporate social responsibility.This was just unbelievable.Mean doubted that even his parents had received the golden business card with the direct contact information of either of these men. And Plan had received it, just like that. These business cards couldn’t be weighed in gold. If people found out Plan had them, he would probably barely be able to concentrate on his studies.Mean’s worry coming here had been that Plan would embarrass himself or get pulled into background drama.But now he saw that the danger was even bigger: Plan had managed to pique the personal interest of some of the most powerful people in the country, and from now on, he would be watched by even more eyes. Not just the people who were following his career with interest now – he could also expect a lot of dubious characters turning up at his side, trying to get to these high-level supporters through him.Poor Plan.He probably had no idea what he had gotten himself into.“Well, it has been nice talking to you, Mr Kijworalak. We will certainly look out for news about you in the future,” the CEO then said, while both businessmen were getting up from their seats and taking their leave.Towards Mean, he added:“White Hand must continue to take good care of him. We’ll be watching your progress with interest.”Mean didn’t dare to breathe until they had left the lounge area altogether.Then, he exhaled.This was a disaster.He had no idea what these men’s stances on homosexuality were, but the bomb they were sitting on had just become much more explosive regardless. Even if by some strange miracle, they were not opposed to gay people, or at least not to Plan being gay, in his status as an eccentric genius… they certainly would have opinions on Mean being the one dating him.How much of this did Plan already understand?Mean tentatively lifted his head to look at his boyfriend, who was still sitting across the coffee table from him.Their eyes met.Despite the smile that automatically graced both their lips, Mean could still see it in Plan’s gaze.He understood, too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
As soon as Mean had climbed into his own familiar car, he allowed himself to truly breathe for the first time this evening.He had sent the driver from the agency home and called Tio instead to pick them up. Waiting for him to get here had felt like an eternity. Mean had been forced to navigate small talk with the remaining guests at the Chamber of Commerce. At the same time, Plan had made sure the Attachitsataporns were informed that he would leave early together with Mean, who had come to assist his fellow White Hand member.For the entire waiting time, Mean had carefully paid attention not to act as anything other than the leader of White Hand. He had made sure there was no hint of intimacy between him and Plan at all.Onlookers might even have concluded that Mean didn’t particularly like Plan, and that he was forced by his parents to look after him.He could only hope. It would take some of the pressure off his back.This was also the reason why Mean had made no effort to open the car door for Plan or help him get in, nor to call Tio to do it for them.He had even selfishly climbed into the backseat on the passenger side, silently forcing Plan to walk around the car to get in on the other side.It was rude – but Mean was so afraid that someone would take pictures of them driving away from the gala, that he couldn’t be seen standing even remotely close to Plan.Furthermore, if there were witnesses complaining about how uncivilised Mean had acted towards an esteemed family guest and a fellow White Hand member, posssible dating rumours could be easily contained.“Hi Tio,” Plan said, as soon as he had gotten into the car, “I’m sorry that you have to drive around for us again.”“No problem,” Tio quickly replied, smiling at Plan through the rear-view mirror. “It’s my job.”Mean had a hard time not getting jealous over the smile.“Even so,” Plan argued, “I know you’d rather concentrate on agriculture.”Tio laughed.“Plan, you’re my friend. I would have driven you even if it wasn’t my job anymore.”The answer made Mean frown darkly.Tio was Plan’s friend.Not his.As long as Mean was a member of the Attachitsataporn family, and Tio hadn’t found a way to comfortably walk the path of his own choice, they would never be able to be friends.Their status would always be too different to be friends.“Still… Thank you,” Plan insisted.Tio nodded once, and finally started the engine.“Do you want me to drive you back directly, or do you want to go somewhere else first?”Go somewhere else would be nice, Mean thought, his mind automatically drifting back to the memory of a starlit night sky, a picnic blanket in front of a crackling fire… and Plan all over him.As much as he was tempted by this thought, also knowing how Plan’s usual reaction to stress was to run away – it would be too dangerous right now.“Just don’t take the fastest route,” he said with an audible sigh.He waited until the car had left the light of the hotel driveway safely behind. Then he carefully reached for Plan’s hand under the jacket that lay on the middle seat between them.His heart jumped when they finally touched, and it began to beat faster when Plan quietly locked their fingers together and turned his gaze in his direction, subtly, without even turning his head.“How are you, Plan?”Mean didn’t turn his head towards him either, just gently squeezed his hand.“Ah…” Plan exhaled deeply. “I’m fine. Just… really exhausted.”No surprises there. Though Mean doubted that he was really fine, but this wasn’t something they should argue about.He understood.“I don’t know what the hell my parents were thinking, deliberately taking you there on your own. I was so worried! Just wait until we get back, I’ll give them an earful.”As he was speaking, the agitation and anger he had felt before the award show resurfaced more and more. He had only temporarily suppressed it, because he needed to save Plan first.“How could they do this to us? You were all alone, and I was powerless at an event they knew I couldn’t get out of. Am I really that unreliable? Have I ever been unreliable to you?”“Mean, stop,” Plan suddenly said, in an unexpectedly quiet tone. “I think you misunderstood.”The calmness of his voice gave Mean a bit of a pause, but it wasn’t enough to let him come down from his agitation altogether.“Really? What did I misunderstand? What kind of bullshit have they fed you that you’re defending them, now? Weren’t you the one who complained about their way of handling PR? I didn’t expect you to be so naïve.”Instead of shouting back, like Mean had somewhat banked on, Plan just took a deep breath and when he spoke next, his voice wasn’t just quiet anymore, but sounded noticeably resigned:“Would you listen to my side of the story at least, before you explode?”
His side of the story?
Mean didn’t think there was another side to this story. He didn’t want there to be another side, he wanted to be angry at his parents. It was easier than being angry at the chairman and the CEO for trying to pull Plan away from him.Still… his boyfriend’s stubborn calmness didn’t leave him entirely unaffected – and he wasn’t keen on shouting at him, anyway.Plan was the main victim here.“Fine. Tell me.”Plan didn’t start talking immediately. He rubbed his thumb over the side of Mean’s hand first, and continued to glance at him sideways.“About half an hour after you left for your event, your mum came storming into my room. She looked incredibly pale and shaken, I have never seen her distressed like this before.”Mean already wanted to roll his eyes and tell him she was obviously just acting – but the expression on Plan’s face was so serious and focussed that Mean swallowed his objection.“She told me to dress up in my finest suit and be ready for the stylist. I should prepare to attend this dinner party of the Chamber of Commerce,” Plan continued.” I thought the same as you at first, too. It was suspicious. I told her that I wouldn’t go without you – which made her tremble and nearly break down in tears. She said she wanted to protect me from this, too.”Initially, Mean was still tempted to shake his head and be cynical about his family. But the more he heard from Plan, the more he was inclined to believe his side of the story:“You know that my scholarship isn’t just funded by your parents. All of the five main sponsors of UdG are contributing to it. If you want to call me naïve, then call yourself that as well. We were stupid not to consider that they would see the home story on TV, too – or at least hear of it from their staff. They weren’t happy that your family is monopolising me, and have been putting pressure on your parents to bring me forward ever since. Your parents have tried to hold them off as long as they could, explaining that I came to them on my own by pure coincidence…”Plan’s voice trailed off.Mean’s head spun.This… he didn’t want to believe it. But… but…“… they did it for my sake, and for us. Partially, at least. Only, today, they must have received some kind of ultimatum. They wouldn’t tell me what exactly they were threatened with – but it was enough for them to be seriously spooked. If they didn’t take me to this dinner and introduced me officially, something bad would have happened.”The images these last sentences conjured up in his mind gave Mean chills.However, before he could properly process everything, his phone rang. He had most callers on silent – it was either his family, his agency, or someone from White Hand.Not entirely unexpectedly, it was Viola.He put her on speaker, and was met with breathless words spilling out of her before he could say anything.“Meanie, what’s going on? What happened at the Chamber of Commerce? My parents just came home and my father called me to his study for a full-on interrogation. He wanted to know if I knew that the physics genius – his words, not mine – was living at your family’s house. I tried to be as vague as possible, but I can’t really lie to them, we’re close, of course he understood that I knew.”Mean carefully put the phone down onto the jacket on the middle seat, in front of their still interlocked hands, while Viola didn’t show any signs of slowing down.“He accused me of betraying the family, because I didn’t inform them and didn’t try to get him to come live with us instead – and he screamed at me for allowing you to become the leader of White Hand at such a pivotal moment. He might even have insinuated that I should try to marry Plan, I always tune out the stupid marriage talk, you know. I don’t get it, why are they after Plan all of a sudden? We all know he’s talented, but the way my father talked, it sounded like your family was greedily snatching away an asset. Wait… is Plan with you? Did he hear this?”Plan coughed.“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! This is just weird…”Before she could fall into another rant, Mean stopped her decidedly. He had never before been so happy that he had been forced into becoming the White Hand leader:“I don’t know all of it, either, Vi. Let me talk it out with Plan, first. Let’s have a quiet emergency meeting tomorrow at my house. I don’t trust the study room right now. Can you inform the others? I’ll send you a time later.”Viola wouldn’t let him get rid of her that easily, of course, but Mean remained unmoved and only told her the bare minimum: that apparently, the other sponsors of Plan’s scholarship had demanded to meet him, and that things were complicated.After he had finally succeeded in getting her to finish the call, he sighed heavily, and finally turned his head to look at Plan directly.“Why are you suddenly so important to them? Do you get it?”It wasn’t that Mean didn’t believe Plan was extremely talented, and smart, and hardworking, too. It was one of the reasons why Mean was so infatuated with him.But he was still a scholarship student who had only attended UdG for a few months. Even with all his potential, he was at the start of his career. Investing in a farm boy from a backwater village must have been a risk due to circumstances alone.There were still no guarantees that Plan would successfully adapt to the insanely competitive academic environment – and without the support of his professor, White Hand, and Mean himself, he might not even have made it this far.Plan shrugged.“I’ve been wondering about that, too.”Of course, Plan wouldn’t understand, either.Mean remembered only too well how stubbornly Plan had insisted that the sponsors must have made a mistake with their scholarship and would take it away again. It had taken him a lot of effort to convince Plan that he couldn’t escape the genius story.He was probably still underestimating himself.“Do the two of you really not know?” Tio suddenly asked, glancing at both of them through the rear-view mirror.Mean didn’t know what to say.“Wow, I’d never have thought that I’d be the one to explain your own world to you, Meanie,” he said, shaking his head slightly.“Come on, don’t torture us. Tell us, you clearly have something to say,” Mean grumbled.He also couldn’t believe that Tio of all people would have an opinion right now. He was happy he did, though.“One of the main goals of UdG has always been to establish a Science Department that would put Thailand on the map. Don’t you remember how much money and effort they invested to attract a promising young academic like Prof. Marsden, to abandon better offers from world-renowned research institutions, just to come to a global backwater like Bangkok?”Yeah, Mean remembered, but he didn’t really see the connection to Plan, other than that he was now studying under Prof. Marsden.“She has accomplished a lot already. Your university has been steadily climbing ranks in all the relevant international rankings – mostly thanks to the Physics department and the School of Engineering.”This was all true, but still didn’t explain why Plan was so important.Tio wasn’t finished, though.“Prof. Marsden might break into high-level research collaborations and get articles and citations in the top journals under the banner of UdG, but she’s still not Thai. Plan is.”While Mean was trying to process what this meant exactly, he saw that Plan next to him suddenly understood – and became very stiff and very quiet.Mean couldn’t see it properly in the dim twilight inside the car, but whenever Plan’s face was briefly illuminated by streetlamps in passing, his face looked drained of all colour.“Plan is their best hope to put a Thai name in the history books. If he realises his potential, he might become a contender for prestigious awards in the future,” Tio continued, oblivious of Plan’s shocked realisation.“And who do you think he will have to be grateful to in his acceptance speeches and thanking notes under important articles? They want a piece of the cake. They have invested huge sums for this to happen, and suddenly, there’s a rare prodigy who has the potential to make all their dream come true. Of course, they are scared that your family snatches all the rewards from right under their noses.”Mean could hit his forehead with his palm.
Stupid.
The silence in the car became almost unbearable, until it was broken by Plan’s timid voice:“That’s… that’s why… that uncle kept asking me about physics… he wanted to hear from me directly… hmm…”He stopped, clearly in order to think carefully.“I… How can I not disappoint… all of them in the future?”Hearing Plan still full of self-doubt, even after all the validation he had gotten for his talent, made Mean’s heart ache with compassion. He had been dating Plan for weeks already, and he had admired him even longer – if he had absolute confidence in anything about Plan, it was in his firm knowledge and genuine talent of physics.“You won’t disappoint them, Plan.”If only it were safe to kiss him right now. Mean wanted to. It was the best way he could imagine to reassure him.Unfortunately, he would have to wait with that until they were in the safety of their home. And possibly after they had talked to his parents.“How can you know?”“I don’t know,” Mean admitted, “but I trust you. If they are disappointed in the future, it won’t be because of your work.”Only when the words were out, Mean realised his mistake. If it wasn’t because of work… it might be because of his sexuality… or because of the person he had chosen to date.Because of him.Mean.For a brief moment, an uncomfortable idea crossed his mind: that he should break it off with Plan immediately, in order to save his career. That it was selfish of him to want him, if it put his professional future in jeopardy.Mean pushed it away fast.No. No, that wasn’t the solution. Plan had said it himself after he had moved into the main house: he had decided to stay here and face scary things like Mean’s parents’ PR and the exposure of White Hand, because of physics and because of their relationship.Giving one up for the other wasn’t an option.The best Mean could hope for was for Plan to continue to shine at his work – enough for him to remain valuable to the sponsors, regardless of what else he brought with him.There was no other Thai genius of that calibre waiting to take his place right now. And if there wasn’t some weird coincidence, this was likely an opportunity UdG wouldn’t find again in decades if they lost Plan.Probably the best indicator that the sponsors were indeed thinking the same, were the golden business cards Plan had received at the event just now. They wouldn’t have given these out, if he hadn’t utterly convinced them during their talk.“… and we’ll fight for it, so it won’t be because of us, either,” Mean finally finished his thought, after a very long pause.Plan, who had been frozen from shock until now, slowly moved towards Mean and looked into his eyes.Despite the dim light, Mean nearly doubled back from the intensity of the gaze – full of visibly conflicting emotions.“Don’t ever think of being noble for my sake, Mean. Don’t act rashly,” he said, as if he had guessed Mean’s dark thought. The unexpectedly cold calmness of his voice gave his words enormous weight. “I want all or nothing.”
All or nothing.
The words slowly sank in, and when he finally understood, Mean couldn’t help but smile.“All or nothing,” he repeated, “I promise.”He really really wanted to kiss him now.They both squeezed their hands together, letting each other know they were of one mind on this. It didn’t need to be said. They both understood.“You did well, back there, Mean,” Plan said, unexpectedly easing the tension between them. “I meant to thank you.”Mean didn’t understand what he meant, and only looked at him puzzled.“When you first told them about sponsoring White Hand to accompany me to Geneva, I was confused and a bit angry… but I get it. You understood it better than me. It’s lucky that you are the leader of White Hand.”This remark made Mean feel even more stupid. He was relieved that Plan wasn’t angry with him for taking such a decision over his head like that – and he was flattered that he would have such praise for him.But… he didn’t understand what he did. It hadn’t been exactly planned.Maybe spending all this time around Viola had taught him more than he had realised.“You acted as leader of White Hand, not as representative of your family,” Plan explained, when he understood that Mean was still confused. “Even though you made it clear that your family would continue to look after me, you have framed it as your responsibility as leader of White Hand. Meaning that you don’t expect me to be grateful to your family specifically for supporting me, but to White Hand, which is supported by all of them. They can’t be against that.”Mean hadn’t… it wasn’t… wow, he had never thought that he would one day feel like a somewhat competent leader.Nobody had taught him that.Nobody had ever expected that of him.He smiled.A comfortable warmth spread from his heart into his entire body.Now that Plan had pointed it out to him, it was true – by following his hunch earlier, he had single-handedly spared his family from a world of trouble. Looking back, he wished he had stressed the role of White Hand even more while he talked to them.He remembered the parting words of the CEO towards him, though: that he hoped White Hand would continue to take good care of Plan.He had said White Hand.Not the Attachitsataporn family.All he needed to do now, was to convince his family that they should go along with this narrative.For all his family’s consciousness for status, power, and good PR, Mean didn’t expect them to be callous enough to want to go against the other sponsors. They might have initially invited Plan because they hoped to take advantage of his huge potential – but given the intense pressure coming from the other sponsors, they must have stalled them only because they wanted to protect their secret relationship.“Let’s not talk about this anymore tonight,” Mean said softly, “I want to go home, now. There’ll be time tomorrow to come up with a plan for the rest together with the others.”He paused.“Don’t mention the golden business cards to anyone, though. Guard them as if they were actually made of gold. Nobody outside of this car should know about it. Not my family. Not White Hand.”Plan smiled in response, and nodded so subtly that only Mean could hope to see it.“I’ll drive you home directly, then,” Tio announced and activate the indicator to join the fast lane.It had been a long day.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Let me sleep with you tonight.”Plan’s question made Mean smile involuntarily.“Shhh, not like that. I just don’t want…”“I know.”When they had finally arrived home, they were surprised to find that Mean’s parents hadn’t returned, yet. The entire house was quiet, and the domestic workers were all either taking their well-earned rest, or were sent back to their posts quickly.The pressure from the events of the evening had finally fallen off completely, and they were not forced to pretend not to be close anymore. They had been making up for lost time in a shadowy corner of the entrance hall for who knew how long; kissing, true – but more importantly, hugging and holding each other tightly, as if they were both scared to be torn apart the next moment.That was when Plan had asked to spend the night with him.Even after coming out to Mean’s parents, and after their camping trip had ignited a new fire in them, they were still hesitant to be too obvious about their relationship around the house. So far, they had always returned to their own rooms to sleep, and they hadn’t gone past heated make-out sessions at home, yet, either.Spending the night together in front of Mean’s family still felt callous, and they had both been busy with other stuff, anyway.Mean had to focus on recording his album and preparing his music debut, along with attending courses at Uni and doing his modelling schedules, while Plan had to work hard to prepare for his presentation, participating in the regular research done by Prof. Marsden’s group, and also attending lectures for his degree.Today was different.If they went back to sleep in their respective rooms now, they would probably both get overtaken by worries and the open questions about the future. Not to mention… they were both desperately starving for intimacy after these events.“Let me leave a message for my parents with Auntie Housekeeper about what happened at the dinner, so we can clean it up with them tomorrow,” Mean said, reluctantly letting go of Plan.Plan acknowledged it with a short nod and merely said:“I’ll come to your room later.”*~*~*When Plan had finally sneaked upstairs to Mean’s room, he was surprised to find his boyfriend already waiting for him. He must have hurried with his message.Or maybe it was Plan who had dallied.Getting out of the expensive suit had taken him much longer than he had expected. He was still unused to wearing this type of fancy attire, and he didn’t really know what to do with it. It felt like he needed to treat it carefully and make sure not to leave any wrinkles or specks of dust on it.He had had no choice but to throw out his old clothes and accept the new, high quality ones Mean’s family had paid for during his shopping trip with Tio. However, he still preferred to wear only the minimum required uniform to university, and just a simple shirt or t-shirt and clean trousers otherwise.On top of that, his thoughts had started to race as soon as he was on his own, and he had felt the frighteningly familiar urge to pack his things and run away.He was in way over his head.When he had found the two golden business cards in his pocket earlier, he had been tempted to tear them up, burn them, go, and never look back.But, he knew only too well that this path was firmly blocked for him, now.Even if he could bring himself to abandon Mean despite the promise they had just made in the car, and even if he could give up on physics… these rich people would find him, and they wouldn’t just let him off the hook anymore.They had made their claim known.The saying was right – there was no such thing as a free lunch. The price Plan was paying for being allowed to follow his passion, was that he had to bear these ambitious people’s expectations; and pray he never disappointed them.The only direction he could run away to right now was into Mean’s arms.Maybe this had been the reason why he had taken so much time to get undressed, washed up, and ready for bed. It suddenly felt much more intimidating than before, going to Mean, knowing that he would go crazy if he was forced to go back to fend for himself, without his boyfriend.“You came!”Mean excitedly sat up on his bed when he saw him, and quickly shifted to the edge of it. A bright smile lit up on his face.“Of course I came,” Plan answered, slightly confused by Mean’s surprised reaction. “I said I would, didn’t I?”“You did…”There clearly was an unspoken but there, that Plan found difficult to understand. He had said he would meet him here, of course he would. Had he taken too long?Only when Mean waved at him to come over did Plan realise that he had been standing in the doorway all this time. He quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind him.“Better lock it, too!”Mean sounded too cheerful, as if he wasn’t exhausted from the day’s events at all. He had looked much less energetic when they had first arrived back at the house.
Weird.
Plan dutifully turned the key to lock the door behind him. Mean was probably right to be careful – even if they just cuddled up to each other, it would be better if nobody could walk in on them unannounced.Especially tonight, the evening had been eventful enough.After Plan had turned around, his gaze fell on the large, soft bed Mean was sitting on and he couldn’t help but chuckle:“Oh, the tables have turned, I see…”“Turned how?”It was stupid, he hadn’t even considered this until now.He had rarely slept in a bed before. In his grandparents’ hut, he had either rolled out his sleeping mat on the floor, or snuggled into a hammock. In the garden shed and the pool house, it had been the same mat he had taken with him from the village, a familiar comfort in a strange place.And here, even though he had a room with his own luxury bed, he had stubbornly continued to wrap himself into his old blanket and lie down on his mat on the floor.He could just hope that the closeness to Mean would offset the unfamiliar feeling of sinking into a soft mattress on a bed. It had been fine when they had just laid there to talk, watch movies, or make out – but would he be able to sleep like this?“Last time, you complained about having to sleep on the floor with me…” Plan snickered.Mean took a moment to understand the situation, then he laughed.“Will it be okay?” he asked, still giggling to himself.“It isn’t funny!” Plan protested, generously overlooking that he had been the one who had started it, and struggling to keep a straight face.“It kinda is, though.”Mean patted the bed next to him with a big grin, and Plan didn’t hesitate to let himself drop onto it.“See? It’s not that hard,” Mean laughed.“No, it’s soft… that’s the thing.”They fell into each other’s arms and suddenly couldn’t stop laughing.It wasn’t even really funny – but Plan was so relieved that they were finally here, alone, together and the messy world was safely locked out for the night, that the laughter just flowed out of him. He would probably laugh at the corniest dad jokes right now.Everything was funny: Mean’s grimaces as he laughed, the shapes of the dancing shadows in the dim light of the bedside lamp, and even the fact that they were here at this moment, alone in Mean’s room.As they were laughing together, Mean leaned back onto the bed and naturally pulled Plan down with him.Plan found himself on top of Mean again and fondly buried his head in the crook of his neck, sneaking little kisses in while he tried to control his laughter.They both continued to breathe faster than usual even after they had calmed down a bit. Plan could feel Mean’s breath against his shoulder, just as he was nuzzling him in return.The familiar smell of Mean’s favourite shower gel caught his attention.He must have showered before I came here, too, it crossed Plan’s mind. The scent drew him in, like a comforting light in a foggy night, guiding him to safety.Plan slowly lifted his head, pleased that Mean immediately eased his hold around him to accommodate him. He smiled and leaned his forehead against Mean’s.“Hello there,” he whispered, as if he had only just returned home on a scary night.Had he really thought he would just come here to sleep?The exhaustion he had felt until a few moments ago had evaporated – or at least he couldn’t concern himself with it anymore.He might need relief more urgently than sleep right now…Luckily, Mean clearly shared his desire, and had no qualms to smile back, pull Plan closer, and kiss him hungrily.They never let go of each other, while they hastily climbed fully into the bed and fumbled each other’s pyjamas open.Careless hands were peeling the clothes off and throwing them on the floor, not minding who they belonged to.What was important was that their bodies could touch, skin to skin, finally nothing between them anymore.“You do the work this time,” Plan breathed out between more hasty kisses, seamlessly picking up where they had left off last time.At first, it seemed like Mean was indulging him, rolling them over to get on top of him.Plan automatically slung his arms tighter around him and tilted his head back to give him access to his sensitive neck, impatiently waiting to be devoured.Instead of taking the invitation and kiss the conveniently exposed skin, Mean stopped, and looked down at him with a dangerously mischievous smirk.“Are you ready to beg for it?”Plan turned his head to the side, wrestling with his pride, while Mean didn’t move at all.He was just holding him down!How could he stay still like that!The pressure of strong hands pinning him to the mattress made Plan’s head spin.And Mean just didn’t act. He even had the audacity to say:“I’m waiting.”Ah, of course. It had been too optimistic to hope that Mean would have forgotten about the begging part!Plan couldn’t even really tell why he was so resistant to doing that.He really wanted Mean to take him. He was terribly curious about how it would feel, and Mean looking smug like that was so disconcertingly hot that Plan was ready to give him everything.Everything except going down and beg for it, anyway.While Mean was waiting patiently, Plan was squirming under his gaze, feeling his cheeks heat up like a sudden fever.It was so stupid!All he needed to do for it to happen was jumping over his own shadow and beg already.He couldn’t.Not yet.It was too humiliating. Plan wasn’t someone who begged for anything.Should he?“Not tonight” he said, defiantly keeping his head turned away from Mean’s gaze.“Fine by me,” Mean chuckled.Plan had no time to think more about it, because Mean finally stopped waiting for another answer and used the opportunity of Plan’s turned head to gently nibble at his ear.The pleasant tickle on such a sensitive spot made him exhale loudly, just short of a moan.“Ah, Mean! Not fair!” he protested, not meaning a single syllable of it.“Says who?”“Me! I say it! You’re unfair!”It felt like a déjà-vu. But something was different. Mean showed much more resolve than before, almost as if the encounters this evening had unlocked a new kind of confidence.Plan wasn’t prepared for this.“Why?” Mean breathed against his ear, making him gasp. “Why is it unfair?”Plan gulped.He didn’t feel confident that he could still talk, while Mean was unhurriedly kissing his way from his earlobe down his neck.“You,” Plan panted, clenching his hands into Mean’s back, desperate to find a grip. “You... you are already... on top of me. Just... just take... take me!”Making a reasonable argument was hard, he realised, when your boyfriend was pressing you into a too soft mattress and couldn’t keep his mouth away from your most sensitive patches of exposed skin.Mean lazily stopped his ministrations – no, don’t, Plan wanted to shout, but kept it in – reached under Plan’s cheek on the bed, and nudged him to turn his head to look at him.Befuddled as he was, Plan let him guide him without any resistance.He was greeted with an amused, lopsided grin by Mean, who was clearly enjoying himself massively.“Oh, I will take you,” he said darkly, “deep.”
Deep?
There was no room for Plan to wonder. His lips were sealed by soft, swollen lips, and a tongue resolutely demanding entrance.Somewhat in the back of his mind, Plan noticed that one of Mean’s hands had stopped holding him down, and was fumbling for something above their heads.But Plan was soon distracted by the heated kiss once more, and didn’t care for Mean’s other actions.At least, until Mean moved his other hand away from his neck, too, and balanced himself on his lower arms, without ever stopping the sometimes deep, sometimes playful kisses. They occupied Plan’s attention enough not to question these motions.A package was ripped open above their heads with a crackling tear, and Plan could feel a tide of excitement rise from his groin.It was happening, wasn’t it?Mean had changed his mind?Plan was suddenly acutely aware of Mean’s hand wandering downwards between their bodies, lingering on his chest, and his heated-up stomach, before it was lazily closing round Plan’s throbbing hard cock.He gasped, and instinctively squirmed under the tight confines of Mean’s body. His eyes widened in surprise amidst the continuous kisses, when he finally understood what Mean was doing.Mean wasn’t just rubbing him slowly; he was rolling a condom over it.
But...
The hand left him again, when the rubber was unrolled all the way down, and the distinct click of a lid being flipped open could be heard, followed by the squirting sound of a liquid being squeezed out of a tube.The sensation of the cool, lubed-up hand returning to rub him caused Plan to gasp again, and the following deep moan from his mouth drowned out the slick sounds of this motion entirely for a while.That!That boyfriend of his!Mean’s gaze was awfully smug, when he lifted his head up just enough that Plan couldn’t kiss him anymore:“Get it, now?”“You!”Plan felt helpless, trapped underneath his boyfriend, who was determined to take what he wanted tonight.It wasn’t a bad feeling at all, though, he pondered, while Mean was busy squeezing a lot more lube into his hand, giving Plan’s heated body a bit of respite.He had asked Mean to do the work this time, and he was obviously granting him this wish.Not having to do anything but lay back and allow Mean to lead him was nice, he thought.Just as nice as it had been when Plan himself had been at the helm last time. He had liked that in a different way.It didn’t take long for Mean to spread the lube in and around his own bud. At least that was what Plan assumed he was doing behind his back, out of his view. He should have turned around, it would have been a delicious sight, he thought with a pang of regret – but it was too late to ask for it now.Mean still looked down at him with obvious amusement, as he guided Plan’s cock to his entrance and slowly aligned it with his greedy hole, ready to take him in.This time, Plan had a perfect view on Mean’s face, and he saw him momentarily grimacing as he breached through. Then, Mean exhaled with a deep sigh, and carefully lowered his body onto him.Plan involuntarily echoed the sigh, while the tight, warm hole was swallowing him deeper and deeper.“Ah, Mean!” he moaned, and arched his back to match the other’s movement.He wanted to throw his head back and enjoy the tightness enwrapping him, but he was stopped by Mean, who quickly reached for the back of his head.Mean smirked, and pulled him up enough to make him look into his eyes.This movement also made him slide even deeper inside of him, causing Mean to first grimace, then relax once more.He was almost entirely bottomed out already, and Plan grew impatient with this pace and the lack of proper friction. But there wasn’t much he could do without effort, besides whining and looking at his boyfriend with pleading eyes.Mean was effectively in control of him right now. Even if he could escape physically, he wouldn’t dare, he was completely enthralled by this new side of him.Was this what he got for refusing to beg?“Say it,” Mean breathed out heavily. “I want you... to say it.”
Say what?
He wanted to, he needed it. He didn’t care. He screamed out the first thing that came to his mind:“More!”Mean rocked back and forth a couple of times, making Plan sigh from the sudden delicious friction.Then… he stopped and shook his head.“Wrong.”“Ah, come on! Move already! You’re such a tease!” Plan shouted.In response, Mean let go of his head, allowed him to slide fully back into the mattress, and leaned over him as much as he could without causing him slip out entirely. He clenched his butt around the tip and chuckled, when Plan’s entire body quivered underneath him in response.His eyes gleamed with lust and giddy amusement.“Wrong again.”“Argh,” Plan groaned. He could only squirm in frustration – which at least gave him some very welcome additional friction.Even better, his unexpected movement also made Mean’s eyes widen in surprise.Their bodies were connected now, if either of them moved, the other would feel the effect.Plan used this realisation to twist his body a bit more in his limited range, until he noticed that, as long as Mean was leaning forward like this, he had enough room to buck and thrust up into him. This way, he could now boldly take what was denied to him before.His lips broke into an excited smile, when he saw Mean’s expression slip in surprise. His mouth fell open and with each thrust, his moans got a little bit louder and less restrained.For a moment, it looked like Plan had won, and Mean had given up his hard-earned control in favour of this delicious stimulation, losing himself in pleasure.After a while – too short, too little in Plan’s opinion – Mean caught himself, and wrestled just enough of a grip away from Plan’s ministrations to shift his weight back, effectively trapping him underneath his body again and reducing the thrusts to nothing more than sad vibrations.Wriggling his body sideways in the little room Plan still had to move seemed to give Mean enough stimulation at least to not allow him to return to his previous smug amusement. This wasn’t enough for Plan, though, who was getting desperate underneath him.“Say... it,” Mean gasped once more, through hitched breath.Plan wanted to resist, but the tension inside of him was so wound up that his pride had nothing on him anymore.“Please,” he whimpered.A smile brushed over Means lips.“See? Not... ah... not that... hard.”Then, Mean finally didn’t hold back anymore, pulled Plan closer, and allowed them find a rhythm that fit both of them.While Plan pumped up into him, listening to Mean’s rhythmic moans along his own groans, the image of them playing the piano together crossed his mind.
Same energy.
He grinned, and reached down to take Mean’s neglected cock into his hand and match the same pace for that, too.It didn’t take long after that for Mean’s movement to become increasingly erratic and unrestrained, until he stopped abruptly, groaned, and released himself all over Plan’s stomach.He collapses backwards onto Plan’s hips and panted heavily, while his internal muscles were clenching deliciously around Plan’s cock still inside of him.For a frustratingly long moment, it looked like he had become limp and useless, leaving Plan to helplessly hold him steady at the hips, while he himself was still aching for release. Then, Mean collected himself, breathed in, and started to rock up and down again, increasing his pace until Plan could finally feel his entire body tense up.He closed his eyes, and allowed the sweet relief to overtake him, slowly letting go of Mean’s hips as he fell back into the mattress with a heartfelt sigh.When he opened his eyes again, a boneless Mean was gliding off of him and rolled onto the mattress next to him.They both breathed heavily with exhaustion.The good kind of exhaustion this time.The satisfying kind.“You left a mess on my stomach,” Plan said in mock accusation, filling the silence of the room.“Argh... I- I can’t move anymore,” Mean groaned. “I never want to move again. Clean it yourself.”Plan smiled to himself. Maybe they should work on stamina and these previously rarely used muscles, he thought, and laboriously pushed his body up. He would probably feel sore at the hips tomorrow, too.Still, he leaned over Mean to reach for the package of tissue paper that he spotted next to the bottle of lube. Mean had really thought of everything tonight, he noticed fondly.After disposing of the condom and wiping both of them clean, he untangled the blanket from under their bodies, covered both of them with it and snuggled himself against Mean’s body.“I begged,” he said contently, adjusting his position until he felt entirely comfortable. “Next time, you have to do me. No excuses.”Mean turned his head lazily in his direction.“Come on. You only said please once.” He chuckled. “That hardly counts as begging.”“But I really want it, now,” Plan replied earnestly. “I- I liked it, how you took control this time. And I want to know how it feels... when you are inside of me.”Mean smiled happily.“Then you know what to do next time.”Plan sighed.So, he had until next time to conquer this stupid pride of his.“Is it so hard that you have to sigh?”“It’s alright.” Plan chuckled, and fondly caressed Mean’s well-defined model chest. “It’s just that I have a very demanding boyfriend.”“Lean over here and I’ll show you demanding,” Mean answered.In the end, Plan only needed to tilt his head up a bit, to receive Mean’s affectionate kiss.“I’m glad you’re here, supporting me, Mr White Hand leader,” he said, feeling unexpectedly emotional after all the stress of the day. “So, so, glad.”Mean smiled back.“I’m glad you’re here, too. I don’t think anyone would ever think of me as a good leader of White Hand, if it wasn’t for supporting you.”“Their loss,” Plan murmured, blinking sleepily at him.He closed his eyes, and felt himself drift off, despite the unfamiliar bed, using his boyfriend’s shoulder as a comfortable cushion.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Oh, you finally did the do!”Rose’s cheeky shouted comment greeted Plan and Mean almost immediately after they had entered the small sitting room at the Attchitsataporn mansion that the family had offered for their crisis meeting.She sat on one of the sofas and smiled very broadly at both of them. Rose and Viola had arrived at the house early, while Mean and Plan were still talking to the Attachitsataporns about sponsoring the Geneva trip and otherwise pacifying the suspicious sponsors.Plan sometimes had a hard time wrapping his head around how completely different from her public image Rose was in private even now.“What makes you think that?” Mean asked, with a barely masked glare in her direction.“Oh, please, Meanie. I’m happy for you!”She held up her hands in an attempt to appease him, but she couldn’t resist smugly offering her reasoning:“Well, for one thing, you’re both walking a bit strained, like you’re suspiciously sore around the middle. And both your faces are practically glowing with happiness, as if we weren’t here to talk about a crisis at all. Honestly, I’d judge anyone who can’t tell immediately. It must’ve been good.”While Mean still looked grumpy, Plan found it best not to dignify this speculation with any comment.Rather, it worried him that Rose found that they looked too obviously happy. That wasn’t good at all. What if one of the many people who were following their every move outside noticed that they both looked happy at the same time?How could he make sure he didn’t glow, as Rose had called it?They couldn’t afford anymore rumours, particularly now. Maybe it was lucky, that they hadn’t gone outside today, yet.Viola, who had been lounging next to Rose in a relaxed manner until now, got up with a smirk, walked over to Mean and cordially put her arm over his shoulders.“I’m happy for you, Meanie. You have come so far since the start of the semester.”From where he was standing, Plan could see Mean rolling his eyes behind Viola’s back and slowly removing her arm from his shoulders.“Let’s just sit down and wait for Win, he should be here, soon, too.”Plan followed Mean’s suggestion immediately, and sat down on the other sofa opposite of where Rose was waiting.Everything that changed the subject was more than welcome.It wasn’t like he was ashamed of the fact that they had had sex together. They had been in a committed relationship for a while, it was only natural that they would want to do that eventually.It was just… why?Why were people even interested in that? He had never thought about what might or might not happen in the girls’ bedroom. Why should they care what happened in his?He slowly took his mobile phone out of his pocket, somewhat intending to go over the new article in Science that Prof. Marsden had sent to him this morning. Only when he had his thumb on the screen to start unlocking the phone, he remembered that Win had sent a message to him earlier:“Oh, I forgot,” he said absent-mindedly, “Win wrote that he’ll be late, he’s stuck in traffic. Looks like there’s an unusually heavy traffic jam this morning.”It had to be something, if the traffic jam was unusual even for Bangkok. Plan would probably never truly be able to grasp how many people were living in this city, and at times, it seemed like all of them were on the road together.“Speaking of Win,” Mean said, lazily getting onto the sofa next to Plan, and profiting from the fact that they were in the safety of their home to spread his arm on the backrest behind Plan. “I feel a bit bad for him, now. He’s the only one in White Hand not getting any.”This made Plan look sideways at his boyfriend, slightly scandalised.Had he really just casually admitted that the two of them were, in fact, ‘getting some’?Maybe he should let Mean cool it off a bit, before he allowed him to get more. Plan totally would do that, if it didn’t mean cutting his own flesh, too.He wasn’t interested in waiting for too long. They had left something open for next time…Surprisingly, though, neither Viola nor Rose were latching onto that part of Mean’s words, treating it as obvious.“Who says Win isn’t getting any?” Viola asked smugly.Plan’s phone dropped out of his hand as he listened up abruptly.She couldn’t mean that, could she?As happy as he would be if Win had definitely moved on from him, finally easing the guilt he still somewhat felt towards him – Plan couldn’t imagine Win casually sleeping with someone. However, if he was in a properly committed relationship already, Plan was sure he would know about it.When they had been together, they had both been very measured with physical intimacy. And, even though Plan had quickly understood that his new relationship with Mean was deeper and more serious than his sweet romance with Win had ever been, the two of them had still taken weeks until something had happened during the camping trip.And that had been unplanned.Win wouldn’t act so fast and impulsive, would he?Though, now that he thought of it… acting fast and impulsive wouldn’t be out of character for Win in the least.“What are you implying, Vi?”Mean accompanied his question with an inquisitive gaze.“Do you know something?”Viola shrugged, and let her smirk get even more defined.“Ah, nothing solid, just…”“Just what, Vi? Come on, you can’t just tease and then not follow through,” Mean protested.Plan frowned when he heard that.He didn’t like it when people speculated about him behind his back, so he wasn’t keen on taking part in doing the same to Win.“Maybe we should wait for him to arrive, and ask Win himself?” he suggested.The others nodded, somewhat guiltily – but then, Mean of all people couldn’t let it go:“Is it something we should be concerned about as White Hand? We have the Black Hand leader still on our toes, could this cause trouble?”While Plan was debating with himself whether he should scold Mean for not trusting Win to tell them himself, if there was something to tell, Viola looked like she was seriously thinking it through.“Potentially…” she mused.Instead of repeating his question, Mean only looked at her expectantly. Plan was impressed how long he could hold her gaze.“Ah, maybe I’m seeing things,” Viola finally conceded, “it’s just that… my brother has been acting weird lately. You know I promised Win to hook him up with Vic – not that kind of hook-up, seriously – because he is looking for advise on his start-up project. But Vic found excuses why the timing was bad every time. Until… after we did that thing at the Italian restaurant, he suddenly asked me about what the start-up was about and if I could give him more detail. He has also developed a strange new interest in badminton, believe it or not.”She paused, eyeing Mean keenly, as if she was eager to get his approval for telling him about it.But Mean didn’t give her the satisfaction she was looking for:“So what? Your brother is quite the flirt – don’t deny it, he is, even if you made him exaggerate it towards me that time at the club. He flirts with every handsome man who catches his eye. Maybe he is trying to turn him into another notch on his bedpost – doesn’t mean Win is stupid enough to fall for it.”Plan’s proud smile widened, the longer his boyfriend talked. Mean was holding his own against Viola more often recently, and he really liked that development. It was true that she was very cunning and could often see through schemes the rest of them missed, but Plan still remembered how Mean had wanted to call her for advice immediately after they had first kissed.Now, it looked like he was finally coming into his own.“I think I saw him at Vi’s house recently as well,” Rose added, rushing to support her girlfriend. “Not sure if it was really Win, I only saw a guy resembling him get out of Vic’s car a while ago, and another time they were entering the house together. But it was just from a distance, and if it was him, he might just have been there to talk about his start-up, anyway.”This… this didn’t sound promising.For the sake of his ex-boyfriend, Plan hoped that the two girls were seeing things. Otherwise, he might feel even guiltier about how things had ended with Win. He didn’t feel good about having to break his heart when Win wanted to get together again.Win had been nothing but fair to Mean and him, once he had understood that he didn’t have a chance anymore.If… if Win had fled into the arms of someone like Viola’s brother, who Mean had had no good word for… the heartbreak might have wounded him more deeply than Plan had realised.He deserved better than that.“I…” Plan said slowly, “I’ll talk to him, if that’s necessary. I feel like it’s my fault.”Viola shook her head.“Who’s talking about fault here? I know Meanie still doesn’t trust Vic, but my brother’s reputation is exaggerated.”She seemed rather passionate about defending her brother’s honour.Plan had noticed that among siblings often – that they would diss each other mercilessly, but the moment someone else said a remotely bad thing about one of them, the other would immediately defend them.He couldn’t relate. He only had his grandparents.“Sure, Vic has never been the relationship type, as far as I know,” Viola continued, “but saying he’s just collecting notches on his bedpost isn’t fair. He’s not the kind to make promises he doesn’t intend to keep. If there’s something happening between Win and him, I’m sure Win knows exactly what it is or isn’t about.”While Mean only shook his head next to him, Plan quietly decided that he would talk to Win directly regardless of the group’s decision, if he could find an occasion. Rather than speculation, he just wanted to hear it from him, as much as he was comfortable to tell.“If that’s the case, I don’t think we have to do anything about it,” Mean said, making it clear that he wasn’t interested in continuing the discussion. “Black Hand isn’t after Win personally, as far as we know, and your brother knows what’s at stake for himself. As long as they’re careful, if there’s something to be careful about, it’s none of our business. Plan was right, we shouldn’t have speculated needlessly.”A somewhat awkward silence descended onto the room after these words, and Plan leaned forwards to finally pick up the phone he had dropped.He hated that his mind couldn’t just let go of this idle gossip. He felt more responsible for Win than he had believed before.It wasn’t that there was any residue of romantic feelings left – but Win remained a good friend, one of the few who knew who he had been before the scholarship.He didn’t want him to get hurt.Luckily, the weird mood in the room didn’t linger for too long, because one of the Attachitsataporns’ maids knocked on the door, and announced that Young Master Win had just arrived at the gate, and would be brought to the sitting room shortly.Plan expected that it would be awkward, knowing that they had just talked about him – but he had underestimated the capacity of the three original White Hand members to keep a smiling, neutral face in any social situation.They were sympathising with Win about the traffic jam that had held him up, made sure someone brought him a cup of freshly brewed coffee to help wake him up properly – and if Plan wasn’t still distracted by the rumours, and was looking him over for potential clues, nothing at all would have appeared out of the ordinary.Though, luckily for Plan, he already had a reputation of having his head in the clouds when he was occupied with a difficult research problem. They probably all assumed that this was the case, now, too.“So, why did you call us here, Mean? What’s the urgency?” Win asked pleasantly, as soon as he had settled into an armchair.Plan followed Win’s eyes as his gaze was wandering over the room. It was barely decorated, far from the overbearing opulence stereotype would expect at such a mansion, but the high-quality furniture and the arrangement of the room gave off a vibe of such tasteful minimalism that it looked expensive.Win was clearly impressed by the house.“Well, yay!” Mean laughed, raising his arms sarcastically. “We are here, because my parents are sponsoring a week-long vacation for all of us in Switzerland.”He grinned broadly.Only Win looked surprised by the announcement.Plan felt a bit bad for him, he had no idea what had happened, while Viola had no doubt already told Rose what she knew.“And… you couldn’t tell us this at Uni?” Win raised an eyebrow.Mean shook his head, and proceeded to summarise what had happened the evening before – that Plan had been forced to attend a dinner of the Chamber of Commerce alone and without preparation, that Mean had rushed there after his own schedule, and that he had told the nervous sponsors that White Hand would go with Plan to Geneva, to make sure he was comfortable and successful on his first trip abroad.As Plan and him had agreed on their way home, Mean never mentioned the golden business cards – but together with Viola’s account of how she had been cited to her father’s study and asked about Plan, all members of White Hand quickly understood the situation.“It’s my mistake,” Plan said meekly at the end.“Nonsense,” Mean immediately retorted, “if anything, it’s my parents’ fault for stalling them until it was inevitable.”Plan sighed heavily.“That’s not wrong, but…” he took another deep breath, silently this time. “When we were driving there, I knew what I had to do.”“And what was that?” Mean asked gently.Plan appreciated his tone. Like yesterday at the dining hall, he felt soothed by his presence.“I had to make sure not to draw more attention to myself. I couldn’t disappoint them, of course, or I would have created trouble for Prof. Marsden. But I also should have been more mindful not to impress them too much. It’s… I didn’t want to, it just happened.”It was hard to explain. On his way to the event, he had thought it through and had sorted out his priorities in his head. Above all, he wanted to make sure he didn’t put the people who supported him to shame.After that, he hadn’t felt nervous about talking to these high-level people anymore. He knew why he was there, and he could pretend that he was an anthropologist observing a strange foreign tribe.Which came close to how surreal he felt about most of the event.“I thought… speaking about terrace farming more than physics would do the trick. Many of these people are conservative, they should have respect for a traditional method like that, if I spoke about it in a scientific tone. But I was sure they would think it was too ordinary, be bored by it, and leave me alone. How could I know that they would be impressed by this, too?”His problem was, that he still lacked a frame of reference for what was considered normal in these circles – or any circle, really.Plan had always had the problem that he stood out, on either end of the spectrum.Either, he became an easy target for people wanting to step on someone or just unload their frustration, since he was only an orphan from a poor traditional village with no money or connections.Or, he couldn’t hide because of his talents in mathematics and physics, and what people saw as ‘genius’.Yesterday, at that dinner, he had once again failed at being average when it counted.“I don’t think you could have done anything to change their impression of you,” Viola said with a lopsided smile. “They were already aware of the media buzz around you. Wasn’t that why Mean’s family was forced to bring you there in the first place?”If she put it like that?Plan grimaced, and nodded.“At these kinds of events, people’s minds are usually already made up before they start,” she explained. “It’s like a theatre performance. The real decisions are taken behind closed doors, and only performed at these events for the benefit of the others. They wanted you there to let you know in person: they have their eyes on you.”To illustrate her point, she made a gesture pointing from her eyes to Plan’s and back.“You would have had to act really out of line for them to change their minds about your value for them – and if you had acted too clumsily, they would likely have blamed Mean’s family for it. It would have been a nice pretext for any of them to take you away from the Attachitsataporn family in order to ‘educate’ you properly themselves.”Damn, this rich people’s world was scary.Rationally, Plan knew it should console him that he couldn’t have done anything to change the outcome.But in truth… it didn’t.It felt like the scholarship was a prison more than anything. A nice, comfortable one, providing him with resources and opportunities other people could only dream of. One that people like I’m-a-genius-too Rom were intensely envious of.But a prison nonetheless.Despite this, he couldn’t regret that he had allowed Prof Marsden to talk him into it – if she hadn’t convinced him to accept the scholarship, he would never have known how inspiring and fun it was to do research together in a group.And of course, he would never have met Mean, which… he didn’t even want to imagine.“They seem to have accepted White Hand looking after you for now,” Rose said, taking up where Viola had left off, “it should be fine for a while, shouldn’t it?”Both Mean and Viola nodded, while Win looked almost as confused as he did at the start.“Why does he even need to have someone looking after him?” he asked the three original White Hand members.“Protecting their asset,” Viola answered darkly.“But…” Win frowned. “If he’s such an asset for them… why didn’t they make him a member by default? Plan was the last to join, don’t you remember?”Mean laughed.“It is the privilege of the White Hand leader to invite the members. Nobody else can do that. It is only common curtesy to invite the children of the sponsoring families, of course – I mean, technically, the last leader could have refused to let Viola and me join, but our families would probably have retaliated for being snubbed,” he explained.With a slightly ironic frown, he added:“Funnily enough, there were some discussions whether I should be invited or not last year, because… you know… I’m not serious. Now, I’m the leader myself. That’s how things are.”“Still…” Win insisted, “if it is so important for them to have White Hand protect their asset, why didn’t they tell you to invite him? Or… did they tell you?”Mean shook his head.“At the start of the semester, Plan was just someone who Prof. Marsden had asked them to support,” he explained. “There have been special scholarships like this before. These students were usually exceptional, but not… like this. They only started to pay attention to Plan when the news stories started. And… maybe it was also my family’s fault. When we announced that he had moved here, they got suspicious about our motive.”This was just… Plan’s head was spinning.People acted as if physics was a difficult subject, when it was so comfortably predictable and easy compared to… this.“How is this your family’s fault?” he asked, exasperated. “I came here by pure coincidence. Don’t you remember? On my second day in Bangkok, I tagged along with my friends Birk and Ellie when they went out for breakfast with another of their friends. I mentioned that I was looking for a place to stay, because my friends’ apartment was too small and overheated for three people without air-conditioning, and this other friend just happened to be a maid working at this house. And then, she convinced Auntie Housekeeper to let me stay at the pool house.”Viola cleared her throat.“As interesting as this might be, the entire discussion is useless. Finding out whose fault it was won’t solve anything.”“Then…” Win leaned forward as he spoke, looking at Viola expectantly. “What do we do?”That was something Plan also wanted to know. He hoped that they weren’t completely out of options at least.“We make sure all five of us can go on this trip to Geneva together, to show them our unity and make sure Plan’s conference goes well,” Viola answered. “And… we find that goddamn leader of Black Hand. It annoys me that we still don’t know who she is.”As she spoke, Viola was in danger of getting worked up over her failure to find the leader of Black Hand again – at this point, Plan was pretty sure it was personal for her. It must insult her pride that she, the brilliant poker player, was outsmarted by an unknown person – Mean sat next to Plan, uncharacteristically still and thoughtful.“Don’t you remember what you said after the Italian restaurant incident?” he suddenly started. “We have to wait for her next move. It’s still true. I think, we don’t have to look for her at all anymore.”All eyes were on him immediately.“We already know that I am most likely her target, and she obviously hasn’t found anything that could act as her trump card against me, or she would have played it, she has always been aggressive,” he said, looking at Viola. “I don’t think we have to wait much longer. She’ll come to us, soon. Let’s just be prepared to give her a warm welcome.”“What if she outs you, before we can stop her?” Win asked nervously. “She wants to hit Mean, but it will inevitably hurt Plan, too. You said it yourself, these sponsors are conservative – what will they do if they find out about it?”Plan remembered asking the same question to Mean on the way home last night.“I only know about my father.” Viola said with a pained expression. “Whenever there’s a story on the news about some country passing a marriage equality bill, or a feature on how important Pink Money is for the tourism industry, he sneers at it. You don’t know how many times I have had to listen to him lecture us on how the parents of these ‘degenerates’ have failed, and how he would never accept a gay child.”She snickered.“Kind of ironic, isn’t it, that he is unknowingly talking about himself?”As much as she made light of it, Plan couldn’t laugh.“Does this mean he’d go against me if it came out?”Viola shrugged.“Unsure,” she said. “He would certainly be against it personally, but realistically, he isn’t powerful enough to sway the others. Even though he is the heir apparent for grandpa’s company and has been managing it for years, it still belongs to grandpa. I don’t know how grandpa would see it, he’s much more opportunistic than my father.”She hesitated.“Besides… our company is only at number four. He’ll have to comply with whatever decision those above him take, including Mean’s family.”“Then what about the others?” Plan asked.Nobody in the room dared to breathe, while Viola sifted through the information she had stored in her head.Plan couldn’t keep a disappointed sigh in, when he saw her shaking her head:“Too unsure. Might go either way.”“Then I’ll call Tio to look into it discreetly,” Mean said. “He’ll have his ways to dissociate it from me. It’s too dangerous for any of us to dig into it directly.”Everyone nodded.“Let’s talk about organising our trip, then,” Mean suggested. “And make sure the Black Hand leader doesn’t out us.”*~*~*The opportunity to talk to Win alone came faster than Plan had expected.After they had finished their emergency meeting, the three original members of White Hand all left, either to contact people for their upcoming trip, or because they had to attend courses at university.Meanwhile, Win had to stay behind at the Attachitsataporn mansion to speak to Mean’s mother.During their meeting, Plan had remembered that it had taken him several weeks to get a travel visa for his trip. He had only received his passport back two days ago. The others wouldn’t be able to get one in time, if it took just as long.Mean, Viola, and Rose had laughed and said that they already had a visa for the Schengen Area. They were often required to travel to Europe for various reasons – for example, when Mean was posing for pictures for the airline campaign, or when Rose attended Milan Fashion Week, and when Viola was forced to accompany her parents to the wedding of an important business partner on the Côte d’Azure in Southern France.Thus, they all got their visas renewed directly through their parents’ companies regularly.It had looked once again like Win was the odd one out – but Mean had suggested to use the airline’s established channels to obtain a visa for him quickly. In order to avoid legal issues, however, Win would have to be formally employed in some capacity by the airline.Since Win was handsome, on top of being a promising badminton talent with hopes to join the Olympic team, Rose had suggested that Win could become a brand ambassador in an upcoming campaign alongside Mean.And that was what Win had been discussing with Mean’s mother until now.Plan had volunteered to stay behind and wait for him. They could go back to Uni together afterwards.Win was smiling happily, when he left Mrs Attachitsataporn’s study.“Good news?” Plan asked.“Excellent news,” Win replied. “She said she would have hired me even if I wasn’t a member of White Hand. She thinks I already look like a model and I will only need minimal training before they can let me participate in a shoot. She even facetimed the PR team! Everyone was very excited when they saw me.”Plan chuckled.Win’s enthusiasm was adorable, and it could be really contagious.In any case, Plan was happy that Win was happy, and that it wasn’t him who needed to pose for an ad campaign to get a visa on time. He had barely dodged that bullet last week, when he had spoken to Mean’s mum the day after his coming out to his family.Win’s talk with her had been over much quicker than Plan had reckoned, and there was still a lot of time left before they needed to leave for classes.So, Plan brought Win to the garden patio outside of his room, proudly showed him his vegetable patch, and offered him a seat on the bench he had recently brought here.At first, he made an effort to talk about this and that, asked Win about his upcoming badminton matches and other harmless topics.Then, he casually mentioned the start-up – and whether Win had met with Viola’s brother about it recently.Win’s already happy face broke into an even broader smile when Plan mentioned Viola’s brother – making Plan’s heart sink.“I did, Plan!” Win shouted enthusiastically. “It was great! You can’t imagine. He knows so much about business! He helped me rewrite my business case and refine my elevator pitch. It’s like he is supercharging my project. And, he promised that he would introduce me to a group of angel investors as soon as he’s satisfied with my improvements.”As much as Win sounded like someone who had a bit of a crush on the person he was talking about – he hadn’t mentioned anything other than business, yet. Maybe Rose had really only seen him going to Vic’s house to talk about the start-up, and nothing else.Win was a very ambitious person, and Vic was someone who could boost his career. It was natural that Win would be excited about meeting him.Remembering Viola’s story about her brother’s weird behaviour and his sudden interest in badminton, Plan feared that Win might be too naïve, and Vic could be taking advantage of his ambition to play with him after all.“That sounds very promising,” Plan said nonetheless. “I’ve always been rooting for your business.”Win turned his head fully towards him, and smiled.“Thank you. This means a lot to me, you know. I’ve always believed in your talent. I’m happy that you believe in mine, too.”Plan quickly reassured him that he had always done that, too.It wasn’t even a lie. One of the main stated reasons for their break-up, after all, had been his decision not to stand in the way of Win’s ambitions.Even if, in hindsight, Plan could see that their relationship had always been doomed, it didn’t mean that this reason was invalid.“Now that I’ve got Vic’s support, I have a really good feeling about my project. You better watch out, Plan,” he laughed, “or I’ll surpass you. When I met Vic at your farewell party at Gravity, he asked me who I was, and I said I was the least-known member of White Hand, but that I planned on becoming the best-known one.”This sounded like Win – and if it were up to Plan, he would gladly trade his spot in the limelight with Win, as long as he could keep doing research in physics, and stay together with Mean.Unfortunately, it was hard not to notice how fondly Win was mentioning Vic as he talked about their first meeting. And that party at Gravity. Plan now remembered that this had also been the first time he had met Viola’s brother, but he had obviously not left any marks in his memory, and he barely recalled what they had talked about that night.Before he could figure out how to ask Win about the rumours diplomatically, Plan decided to just be blunt:“Do you like him?”Win didn’t answer – and at the same time, he did.His body language betrayed everything he didn’t say.He averted his gaze slightly, a faint blush appeared on his cheeks, he absent-mindedly fidgeted with the cord of his track suit jacket – then he caught himself and settled into something between shaking his head and nodding.Plan regretted that he had asked. He had been worried – but now, it felt like telling Win about his doubts would just break his heart again. He should have thought about this before – how could he always end up being the bearer of uncomfortable news for Win?While Plan was still wallowing in his own self-pity, Win suddenly looked up, directly into Plan’s eyes:“Can you keep a secret?”Plan nodded – but in his heart he wanted to say no, he knew enough.“We’re…” Win lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “we’re kind of… seeing each other.”So, the rumours were true…Plan forced himself to smile and pat his friend’s back approvingly.“What does kind of seeing each other mean?”Win chuckled, and looked at Plan with star-crossed eyes. If he were an anime-character, they would be popping out in heart-shapes.“It was funny. You know, I found him intriguing when we met at Gravity. I’ve rarely met a man who dared to flirt so openly with another man before. Even back when you and I were dating, it was always me who went after you, right?”Plan could only nod in agreement. But he also remembered how it had been the other way around for him with Mean.“Doesn’t this just mean he’s a player? He’s flirted with Mean before; and with me, too.”Win’s eyes lit up, but not in anger, as Plan half expected – rather, he seemed proud.“He already explained what happened with Mean the other day, didn’t he? And, he said he only flirted with you, because he wanted to see Mean’s reaction and confirm something.”Plan rolled his eyes.Of course, he’d say that.“So, you found it intriguing that he flirted with you. But I assume it doesn’t just end there?”The low conspiratorial tone Win had had in the beginning was long gone by the time he properly started to tell his story. From Plan’s perspective, Win looked so cheerful, that he could barely sit still on the bench as he talked.“Next time we met was in the van in front of the Italian restaurant. It became pretty clear over the course of that evening that I wasn’t opposed to seeing a man, and Vic has never made a secret about being gay among us. I saw that he hadn’t expected me to be into it at our first meeting, and that he looked pleased. So… I gave him my number at the end of that night before we left.”Plan thought he hadn’t heard right.“You gave him your number?”This punched some holes into his theory that Vic had seduced a naïve Win.On the contrary, it seemed like Vic’s open flirting had impressed Win, and pushed him to act first.“Why shouldn’t I?” Win said and shrugged. “I had no qualms going after you back then, either?”That was different, Plan wanted to say – but he couldn’t tell in what way it was different.It wasn’t like he had been passively swept away by Win back then – it was just that he had often felt that Win was pushing too fast and didn’t give him time to reach a decision, like Mean had always done so far.“You’re bold.”Win laughed again.“That’s what he said, too. He didn’t give in to me right away, though, in case you were wondering. He only called me to talk about my start-up a few days later. We met, and it was just so inspiring and helpful; I don’t know, I felt like I could talk to him like that for days, I didn’t want to leave. So… I kissed him before he left.”Plan’s jaw dropped.It felt like he didn’t know Win at all. They had been so cautious together.Sure, Win had taken the initiative, but never to this extent! And, he also remembered how nervous Win had been around Mean in the beginning, like he was intimidated by Mean’s wealth and power.Vic was at least on equal footing when it came to that. Mean’s family might be slightly better off, but Mean himself had a frivolous reputation. In contrast, Vic was already working at the family company and would no doubt inherit a significant portion of it – if his father didn’t find out about his sexual orientation and all that.Okay, maybe getting used to Mean had also removed these kinds of scruples for Win?“Win! I’m shocked!”Forget about Vic taking advantage of Win – Win was clearly the driving force behind this… thing.“Was it good at least? The kissing?”Before he had known about Win’s new target of affection, Plan might have felt weird, talking to his ex-boyfriend about kissing other people. But now… he knew how their kisses had felt, he knew he liked it more when Mean did it – he wouldn’t be hurt if Win said Vic was better.Win only smiled knowingly.“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”“When have you ever been a gentleman, Win?”It wasn’t true.Win had been very gentleman-like with him. But Plan just discovered that teasing Win was fun – and that he hadn’t had a real, friendly heart-to-heart with him in a while, without the melancholic sadness over their failed relationship hanging between them.Win had acted all noble, giving Plan up because he wanted him to be happy – but now it looked like he had also moved on quite quickly on his own.“We both wanted to see each other again afterwards.” Win smirked. “Is that answer enough?”
Sure.
Plan wasn’t particularly keen on details – all he had wanted to know was whether Win was feeling good about himself.“Doesn’t it bother you that he has a reputation?”The question made Win snort with laughter.“Plan! You shouldn’t believe everything your boyfriend tells you. I get that Mean is angry for what Vic did, but he isn’t like that. He’s been open with me. He told me that he has been with a few others before. He just didn’t continue it with them when it got boring for him. But it isn’t like he was just mindlessly sleeping around… most of the time,” Win shook his head. “I’m not looking for the perfect, never-ending romance… like you and Mean. If it gets boring, we’ll stop. Simple as that. That’s why I said we’re seeing each other. We’re not really dating. And, I’m fine with it.”So, Viola hadn’t embellished the truth when she had maintained that Vic would be frank with Win.Still, Plan couldn’t help but look Win up sceptically.“Are you sure you can do that casual thing without getting hurt?”The first time since they had started talking about the topic, a sign of anger flashed up in Win’s eyes – but he reigned it in quickly.“I’ve tried the serious thing with you before, and it hurt when it ended. Can the casual thing really be worse?”Plan furrowed his brow and grimaced with guilt.“I’m sorry,” he said. “About us. I guess… It was never meant to be more than it was.”“I know that!” Win shouted, finally showing some anger. “I don’t want you to feel bad about it anymore, Plan. I was sad that I had to let you go, but there’s no point trying to hold onto someone who is moving on. Even before I knew that you were together, I thought that Mean was a better fit for you. He can give you things I never could. I’m not jealous of him.”“I just…” Plan hesitated. “I just don’t want you to do this casual thing as a rebound or something.”Now, Win wasn’t holding back his anger anymore at all, and openly glared at Plan.It looked scary. Plan didn’t think he had ever seen him like this, and he automatically backed away from him, as far as the narrow bench allowed.“Vic isn’t a rebound!”Win shook his head, laughing bitterly.“Sometimes, you can be very self-absorbed, you know, Plan? Not everything is about you. What happened is that I met a guy I find hot and intriguing, I gave him my number, and we met up after that. Period.”“I- I’m sorry,” Plan stammered.It didn’t feel particularly good, hearing that he was self-absorbed – but honestly, Win had every right to be angry with him for all he had put him through. Maybe… seeing that Win wasn’t just acting so painfully noble towards him anymore was a relief, underneath the accusations.“It’s alright,” Win said defiantly. “But… that’s why I didn’t want you to find out. Please, believe me. Me seeing Vic has nothing to do with you, Plan. Nothing.”Plan breathed through deeply a few times in an attempt to steady himself.Yes, it was like this. Win had moved on from him, and his relationships didn’t concern him anymore. He should just let it go.“Understood,” he said.There was a pregnant pause after that, where they both sat next to each other quietly, emptily gazing into the colourful garden in front of them.“Win?” Plan asked, after he felt like Win had calmed himself enough.“Hm?”“We’re still friends… right?”When Plan tentatively turned his head to look at Win, he saw the other grin openly, the careless happiness from before almost restored.“Of course.”As soon as their gazes met entirely, Win closed the distance between them and pulled Plan into a hug.After the initial shock, Plan happily returned it and leaned his head against Win’s shoulder.It felt like closure. There was no increased heartbeat, no giddy tension anymore in hugging Win – but the familiarity still made him feel safe and comfortable.They let go of each other almost simultaneously, and happily leaned back into the garden bench, now admiring the flowers in front of them contently instead of staring at them.“Plan?” Win asked, uncharacteristically shyly, especially after he had talked about his boldness in pursuing Vic just before.“Yes?”“Since we are friends… Can I ask you something… personal?”Personal?Plan couldn’t imagine what kind of personal question Win would want to ask, now that they had re-established each other as friends.But... he was curious.“Go ahead.”“Have you and Mean… you know?”Win made a suggestive gesture that made it clear what he meant.What was it with White Hand and this particular question today? Was it really this obvious that they had spent last night together?Though… if it was obvious, Win wouldn’t have asked like this now, would he?When Plan tentatively turned to around to face Win properly, he could see that Win was only side-eyeing him nervously.“Why do you ask?”“Promise not to laugh?”Plan nodded and smiled.“I haven’t… done it, yet. But… I mean, it’s possible, and I really want it. I’ve been thinking about it… a lot. I have questions. And, you are the only person I know I can ask.”
Aww.
As awkward as this subject was – Plan found it endearing that Win would come to him. It was a surprising show of vulnerability, after everything that had happened between them.“Can’t you ask Vic? I assume he must have a lot of experience. He’ll know better than me.”Win furrowed his brow.“It’s… Isn’t it embarrassing if I ask him? I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of him.”In Plan’s opinion, he should be able to ask this type of question to the person he wanted to sleep with. How could they trust each other with their bodies, if they didn’t even dare to talk about insecurities, worries, and hopes beforehand?But he wasn’t here to argue with Win. If Win was more at ease talking to a friend, by all means…Plan sighed.“We did.”The expression on Win’s face changed instantly and lit up into a big grin.“Ah, Plan! Who would have thought that you’d lose your virginity before me?”Plan slapped him on the upper arm in retaliation.“What is so surprising about that?”He had been with Mean for a while already, while Win had been single until recently. Or maybe still was, if he didn’t want to define the type of relationship he had with Viola’s brother.Since Win didn’t answer that, Plan directed the conversation back to the topic.“Didn’t you say you wanted to ask questions?”Win’s grin immediately dwindled and he looked more serious.“Does it… hurt? You know… in there?” he asked tentatively.Plan shrugged.“I don’t think so. Not unbearably at least, it shouldn’t. It seems to feel really good after a while.”“You… don’t think so? It seems?” Win asked, looking at him with suspicion. “I thought you said you’ve already done it?”Plan could only give him a deadpan look, and wait for him to figure it out by himself.“Oh… Oh.”When he saw Win’s embarrassed face, Plan had couldn’t hold back his laughter. He looked too comical.“You should see your face!” he snorted and shook his head. “Worth it!”It took him a while to stop laughing.Then, he looked at Win as threateningly as he could:“If you ever tell this to anyone, I’ll know it was you, and I won’t let it slide. This is very personal information. Got it?”He paused.“Besides, it’s not like I won’t try it out eventually, too. We just haven’t gotten around to that, yet. And if you must know, from what I saw, I’m really looking forward to it.”He took a deep breath. Then, methodical as he was, he suggested:“But, if you’re worried, why don’t you ask him to let you be on top first? Who knows, maybe that’s what he prefers, anyway?”Win looked at him sceptically.“Was it like that for you?”Plan laughed and shook his head.“No, it just... turned out that way. So, is there anything else you wanted to ask?”“Yes, actually…” Win started, and they didn’t stop talking until they had both missed their first classes of the day.It turned out that once they got over the initial awkwardness, it felt good, talking and joking with a friend about these slippery topics. Other than his first indirect admission, Plan didn’t think he was giving away anything private about his own relationship – their talk had turned to much more general and hypothetical topics after that.Breaking up with Win had been a very good decision. They worked much better as friends.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The weeks after the emergency meeting went by in a daze.When Mean had told his agency about the spontaneous trip to Geneva, they not only wanted him to make up for his absence by spending more time in the recording booth beforehand – they also came up with the idea to use the trip to film a few sequences for his first music video.They had already had a concept for the video, but it was quickly rewritten to incorporate shots of Mean and his White Hand friends playing in the snow in the Swiss mountains. They were trying to contract a local crew to do the shoot for them, since it would be impossible to get a Thai team there on such short notice.There had been no use for Mean to try and talk them out of it – they were sure that these exotic images would help make his debut as a musician a success.Mean had grumbled about it, but had had to call defeat eventually. He had hoped to impress the public with his songs, written and composed by himself, and in some cases, he was even participating in the arrangement and final mixing process.He didn’t think he needed gimmicks like a video shoot in a remote location to appeal to his audience.Spending so much time at the studio meant that he was basically absent from UdG the entire time.He only went to the few courses with mandatory attendance, for everything else, he relied on the same fellow students who usually helped him out when he was busy.And, he had entrusted the interim leadership of White Hand to Viola for the duration of his time at the studio.Of course, if he could choose his stand-in after his own heart, he would have given it to Plan instead. But every choice other than Viola would have made tongues wag and rumours fly.She was the only other member directly tied to the sponsoring families, and she had been Mean’s best friend since kindergarten.Spending seemingly endless hours in the recording booth also meant that Mean rarely had the opportunity to see Plan.Not just that, Plan was busy on his end, too, finalising his analysis of the latest data set their group had received and rehearsing his presentation. If he managed to finish the analysis before their departure, he could present exclusive preliminary findings at the conference that would surely draw attention to his research, rather than the farmer-turned-genius-researcher story that had brought him there.When Mean returned home late these days, Plan was often already sleeping.And, when he was early, Plan would usually be late.They had started the habit of sneaking into each other’s rooms whenever they felt lonely.In Mean’s case, this often meant lifting a sleeping Plan up from his mat on the floor into the bed, so they could huddle up together.If Mean was home first, he sometimes noticed in hazy half-sleep that someone had climbed into his bed next to him. More often than not, he couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality until the next morning, when his boyfriend was either next to him, or not.Nobody in the house had commented on the fact that they were spending their nights together increasingly more frequently.Mean was pretty sure they knew about it, but had adopted an unspoken ‘keep it low and we won’t see anything’ policy.About two weeks before the departure of their flight to Geneva, half a month after their emergency meeting, Viola came storming into the recording booth in the middle of a session, agitatedly waving a sheet of paper in front of Mean’s eyes.Mean grasped it determinedly and pulled it out of her hands to stop her from annoying him further.Before he read it, he threw an apologetic look at the recording crew in the control room, and told them to take a break while he talked to his friend.“It’s her,” Viola said, pointing at the sheet of paper, “I’m sure of it.”Momentarily confused, Mean stared at it more closely.It looked like a letter. Only text, no pictures.“Who?”Viola exhaled.“The Black Hand leader.”Mean rolled his eyes.“I understood that much. But who is it? There’s no picture on here.”Shaking her head in frustration, Viola pointed at the paper again.“Read. You’ll understand.”The paper turned out to be an official letter from the university’s PR department to White Hand. Mean read it quickly, furrowing his brow more and more as he advanced.The letter informed them that since Plan’s expenses would be covered by the generous donation of the Attachitsataporn family, the PR department had decided to use the thus liberated funds to send one of their journalism and media students along with them on the trip.That person would have the chance to provide first-hand coverage of the trip for the university’s official channels, and for future use.“The girl they’re sending with us. It’s her. You were right last time: she’s really coming to us… and then some,” Viola said, as soon as Mean looked up after reading.“The letter doesn’t even say that it’s a girl they’re sending…”Viola prodded him on the upper arm, causing him to shout out in protest.“Ey, what are you doing?”“What do you take me for?” she asked.Mean only lifted his hands, indicating that he didn’t know what she was angry about.“I immediately went to the PR department after receiving the letter, of course,” she explained.“Of course,” Mean confirmed mockingly.With an exasperated sigh, she continued:“I went there and asked them how they were thinking of doing this, there’s only two weeks left until our flight, they’ll never get a visa on time.”Mean nodded.He didn’t really see the connection between this and the Black Hand leader, but he found it best to just let her say her piece, instead of provoking her further.“They said that it wouldn’t be necessary, because the student they were sending with us is a foreign student. She has dual citizenship of Thailand and Belgium, so she can travel to Europe without a visa.”That was certainly convenient, but Mean still couldn’t see why Viola would think that a random foreign student was the Black Hand leader, and he told her so.“I found it suspicious,” Viola smirked. “It needed quite a bit of prodding from my side, until they told me the whole story. It wasn’t the PR department’s idea to send her at all. Rather, she came and pitched it to them, saying she would be helpful to us as well, since she is from Brussels and speaks French, like the people in Geneva. Which is bollocks if you ask me – CERN is a multinational research collaboration, they’ll all use English, and the city itself is famously international. We’ll be fine without French.”“So, you’re saying… she invited herself,” Mean concluded.He shifted uneasily on the chair he was sitting in, looking up at Viola standing next to him.She nodded.But… it didn’t make sense.Even if the girl fitted their criteria – she was a first-year journalism and media student, female, and she had come to them by herself – why would a foreign student, foreign first-year student, get the idea to form Black Hand and go against them?Wouldn’t someone like her be absorbed enough with adapting to her new environment and following her classes.“Do you know anything else about her?”Viola grimaced.“Here’s the thing…”That didn’t sound very promising.“I found out her name,” she said, “it’s Laure D[*]. Her last name is extremely common in Belgium, in France and even the United States and Canada. There are dozens of people with the same exact name. I tried to search it through the search engine and on social media, but it’s hopeless. I even restricted my search parameters by adding Thai keywords, since she’s probably the only one with that name who has a connection to Thailand. But it came up blank.”She took a deep breath.“She’s clever.”Mean frowned.“Is this some kind of spy story? That Cameron guy at the Italian restaurant called her Sar-, how many names does she have?”He hesitated.“Are you positive it’s her?”“I can’t give you any conclusive evidence at this point,” Viola conceded. “But… I’m pretty sure. It fits too well. How better to find dirt on us, than to travel with us?”This was… not good.“Why would the university even pay for such a trip? Can we uninvite her from the unofficial part at least? You know that my agency wants to shoot a few scenes for my video with the rest of you. The university PR department has no business sending anyone along for that.”Viola shook her head.“Frankly, that won’t make much of a difference. Let’s say she flies back after the conference on our request, or continues on to Brussels to meet her family, she’ll be around us for at least four and a half days, including travel time,” she answered. “We’ll fly out on Saturday morning to arrive there Saturday evening. Then, there’ll be all of Sunday to adjust to the time zone. Monday and Tuesday is the conference. The earliest we could get rid of her is Wednesday. Four and a half days.”
Damn.
That was a long time to be on constant guard, while also travelling between continents, and making sure Plan didn’t run from the conference in panic.“And as for why the university would pay for that…” Viola laughed dryly. “That’s actually our fault. Or, well… your family’s.”If he didn’t rely on his flawless face for his job so much, Mean would have hit his head against the wall in frustration.Could they really not catch a break, just once? Whatever decision they took, there was always a downside to it.Taking all of White Hand to Geneva had sounded like the perfect way to appease the sponsors, and get some quality time for all of them together. Now, that very decision had allowed their rival to get close to them.“How so?”Viola laughed.“It’s a stupid reason, honestly,” she said. “the university receives public funding for their overhead. So, the different administration units, like PR, student administration and so on, are allocated an annual budget they need to use up or give back by the end of the year – and next years’ budget is calculated based on what they used up this year. So, they had already booked that money in for Plan’s travel expenses, and couldn’t allocate it to anything else – this late in the fiscal year, it is better for them to spend it than to sit on it. Our clever girl must have known that, and convinced them to invest it in her.”
Well…
Mean breathed through heavily a few times.“I’m starting to believe you…”“Of course you have to believe me,” Viola protested.She let herself casually drop on the floor next to Mean and looked up at him.“What a mess…”Mean could only agree.He had hoped that going abroad together would give all of them a bit of respite, an opportunity to let their guard down, and maybe even split up and enjoy some private travel time as couples in secret.Now… they were taking their worst rival with them.“We can’t really uninvite her…” Mean said, not hiding the resignation he felt.Viola sighed.“True. We’re still a university club. Even if we pay for the it privately, Plan is there representing UdG, they have the right to send someone to accompany him…”For a while, they just sat there, Mean on the chair, Viola on the floor, and stared at the wall in front of them.Mean started following the patterns in the sound-absorbing coating with his gaze, to keep his thoughts from racing too hard.Sometimes it felt like they just had divine bad luck.This was Plan’s first trip abroad. There would be so many new impressions and no doubt challenging experiences to navigate for him. Even with the best support White Hand could give to him, it would not be a walk in the park.Mean had made sure to find room for Plan to fly First Class alongside him. The three others had to be relegated to Business Class, since most of the other First Class seats had already been booked by paying customers.There hadn’t been any debate on whether Mean and Plan had the right to take up the luxury seats among the five of them. After all, it was Mean’s family’s airline, he could choose first, and Plan was the VIP passenger of their trip.But… would it make this Laure girl suspicious if she saw the two of them going off together?“What’s the situation on the rumours?” he tentatively asked. “What do people think?”Viola snorted at the question, not hiding how cynical she felt about it.“Not as bad as it could be.”Mean turned around to face her, looking at her expectantly… and slightly hopeful?“Since you have been absent in the last, how many weeks was it? Two?” she went over in in her head, grimaced and decided not to dwell on it. “Whatever. Since you’ve been absent, Plan has spent most of his breaks at Uni with Win.”Mean inhaled, suppressing the unwelcome jarring emotion that came up as he heard this.He remembered that after the crisis meeting, a maid had come to him and told him that she had seen Plan hug another guy in the garden that day.When Mean had calmly confronted him with it, Plan had told him everything about his talk with Win. He had insisted that the hug had just been the ultimate closure for their failed relationship – a sign that they both definitely agreed that being friends was better for them.No hard feelings.It wasn’t that Mean didn’t trust or believe Plan.Or Win, for that matter.Since he had gotten to know Win better, the boy had never given him any reason to distrust him, and Plan had even mentioned in passing that Win was seeing someone else; not elaborating whether it was Viola’s brother, as the girls had suspected, or another person altogether.Still… it sucked, knowing that his boyfriend was spending his breaks with someone else, while he was trapped in the recording studio.It sucked even more that he had to be grateful for it, because it took the pressure off of their true relationship.“In the last Black Hand article there were already some hints, alluding to their past relationship in Chaing Mai,” Viola explained. “Now that they are spending so much time together, WinPlan has become the most popular ship by a large margin. I think most people on campus are convinced that they are already confirmed as the gay members in the articles. From their point of view, you have to admit it makes sense. Rosie’s engaged to marry. There’s no reason to doubt her relationship. And there are still many people who think that you and I are secretly dating. The fact that you’ve chosen me as your stand-in for White Hand has nurtured that impression, too.”It was funny, wasn’t it? How he should be grateful that public opinion believed he was hiding a straight relationship with his best friend for stupid business through marriage reasons, rather than a gay one with the guy openly living at his house.Mean laughed bitterly.“I suppose I should be happy about that.”Viola patted his underarm sympathetically.“I know it’s hard. I have to watch my girlfriend parading around as my brother’s fiancé.”She looked at him full of compassion, uncharacteristically open and honest for someone as cunning as her.“It isn’t the same,” Mean sighed, nonetheless. “You planned this engagement yourself, and they aren’t ex-lovers. They’re relationship has always been a beard for all of you.”“True,” Viola answered, still helplessly patting his arm. “But, you don’t have to worry about Win and Plan, either. They are clearly over. Plan would never leave you to go back to Win.”“I know,” Mean said with a heavy heart. “I don’t think… It isn’t… maybe I’m not even jealous… in that I think they’ll cheat on me. I envy them. They can be friends and openly spend time together, while I’m stuck here, and all I can hope for is to sneak into his room to sleep, like a thief in the night.”Now that he had said it, he saw the parallel to Viola’s situation more clearly.While she could be friends, and prospective sisters-in-law with her girlfriend openly, Rose also needed to sneak into her room at night.And, it would remain that way for them forever, if it went according to plan.Mean could at least hope that he and Plan might be able to openly date each other in the future, once Plan’s life and career weren’t so heavily dependent on the goodwill of the sponsors of his scholarship anymore.As it was now, Mean’s family could in theory make up for the lost funds if the other sponsors decided to drop Plan after their coming out. It wasn’t about money. In practice, the uproar and retaliation they would have to expect from the sponsors could potentially put the family business at serious risk, or at least push it into non-negligible trouble at the stock market.They needed to wait and learn more, before they could do anything about it – but Mean was still positive that the right time to stop hiding would eventually come.For Viola and Rose, that moment would never come, as long as Viola’s father was around.Rose would get married to Vic by the end of the summer semester next year.And Viola would have to marry whoever her brother eventually chose to settle with.“Were there any reactions from the sponsors to these rumours about Plan so far?”Viola shook her head.“It is unlikely that there will be, if it doesn’t boil up massively. Remember, they only took note of him when his video got viral internationally, and once your family got publicly involved. It doesn’t look like they are dedicating any resources to monitor idle campus gossip, or some inconsequential blog by a rival organisation to White Hand. They’ll expect us to handle such matters on our own, without their involvement.”There was that, at least.Mean suddenly sat up, straightened his back, and said slowly:“Maybe having this Laure girl with us in Geneva is a chance for us.”“How so?”“I think I can get my hands on a simple little control application from my friends at Engineering,” he began.His expression went from thoughtful to progressively more confident as he spoke.“We only need to plant it in her phone and her laptop. Then, we can cut her off from accessing certain sites, like her blog. Honestly, we could even just region-lock it. It will be easy to activate when we’re all abroad. She’ll just curse the hotel WiFi or the local internet providers. Then, we can find out what her deal is, and confront her before we get back. If we’re lucky, we can stop her altogether.”Viola eyed him sceptically.“Isn’t that highly illegal?”Mean pushed her away playfully and laughed.“Vi!” he shouted. “Haven’t you been playing poker at illegal backroom tables for years? We just have to make sure she doesn’t notice anything. I’m not suggesting reading her private documents or collecting her passwords or anything. Just monitor her internet use and block access to certain sites while we’re abroad, so she doesn’t do any damage before we can confront her.”They were both looking at each other, Mean’s suggestion hanging in the air between them, like a dangerous and tempting fruit to pick.Viola furrowed her brow in an intense thinker’s pose for a long time.“Let me find a way to get access to her phone and laptop,” she finally said, matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell the others about this. This is between you and me. If it goes south, the two of us will take all the responsibility for it.”Instead of answering, Mean held out his hand and waited until she shook it.They nodded at each other, before Viola left the room with the promise to find out more about their rival, if she could.Mean watched her leave with a nervous heart – then he hurried over to the control room to make sure they hadn’t accidentally recorded their conversation. Even though he found the recording equipment on standby, he still proceeded to delete and overwrite all material that had been captured in the last hour.Just to be safe.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Around lunchtime on the day before their flight to Geneva, Prof. Marsden used her authority as the leader of the research group to send Plan home. He had been stubborn enough to want to follow his usual university schedule until the last minute.“You need time to pack.” The professor had reminded him. “And you need to rest. Long-distance flights are exhausting.”Now, Plan stood in the middle of his room, in front of the shiny new suitcase Tio had bought for him last week, reluctant to start actually putting stuff into it.He shouldn’t have listened to the professor.Following his normal schedule instead of going home to pack would have made it easier to pretend it wasn’t happening, and suppress the queasiness in his gut.It was all surreal, thinking he would leave Thailand for the first time ever tomorrow, and not just to go to a neighbouring country, but overseas by plane… First Class, on his boyfriend’s airline. Or, well, his boyfriend’s family’s, anyway.Last time he had packed his bags had been to move out of the pool house. It had not even taken him five minutes to gather everything he owned, and carry it all over into the main house.Now, he had an entire list of things he needed to pack, from a wardrobe that contained much more clothing items than would fit into that one suitcase. He had been compelled to go on shopping trips with Tio several times during all of last week to get more things people had insisted he would need – things like a warm coat and sturdy boots for winter.It felt like his mood was constantly swinging between excitement, disbelief, and utter panic in a matter of minutes.One moment, he was excited that he would finally be able to see another part of the world. Even better, he would be allowed to give a glimpse into the research he had been doing for the last months, and discuss his group’s core hypotheses with top physicists from around the world.He… who had been scribbling thoughts, observations, and calculations into cheap notebooks in the evenings on his own for so many years. Just a boy who had looked at the world around him in wonder, and who had followed free online courses from professors at renowned universities around the world – finally able to meet some of his heroes in the flesh, and ask all the questions he had wanted to ask for a long time, while soaking up the content of their lectures.But that was just what made him sceptical in the next moment – like it couldn’t be real. He had had to swallow and accept a lot of unbelievable things about himself since the reporters had first shown up at his village. The fact that these things were all seen as flattering by the wider public, didn’t mean they weren’t unsettling.He still caught himself occasionally thinking that someone would show up, soon, and tell him all of this had been a regrettable misunderstanding, and he should go back to live the life that was meant for him.Sure, unlike at the start of his time in Bangkok, he didn’t actively work under that assumption anymore, on the contrary, he knew he not just wouldn’t go back anymore, he couldn’t… but… that hadn’t taken away all of the diffuse uneasiness about this change of fortunes.It felt like something was bound to go wrong. Maybe boarder control wouldn’t let him leave Thailand, or the airplane wouldn’t be able to take off, because someone like him wasn’t meant to fly to other continents and speak at high-level conferences.He was scientist enough to know that these fears weren’t based on facts. There was no reason to expect things to go wrong, at least not any more than for anyone else. But sometimes, feelings couldn’t be calmed just by rational thoughts.However badly his nerves were fluttering, the only way for him was to go ahead and do it, anyway.With this in mind, he determinedly took the first stack of clothes he had prepared on the bed, and put them into the suitcase.*~*~*“Have you finished packing?”After wrapping up his final recording session, Mean had rushed home, and upon hearing that Plan had already returned from university around lunchtime, he had run to his room immediately.Plan was standing in the half-opened doorway, nervously skipping from one foot to the other, and he hadn’t answered Mean’s question, yet.You didn’t need to be a rocket scientist – or a certified genius like Plan – to figure out he was tense. For Mean, whose first trip abroad had been as a baby, long before he had made any conscious memories, it was difficult to fathom how unsettling it had to be for Plan.He regretted that they didn’t have more time to spend together in the last few weeks. How bad of a boyfriend was he, that he hadn’t been able to support Plan in such unsettling times?“What about you?” Plan asked in a slightly shaking voice. “Have you finished?”Mean chuckled.“Don’t worry. The maids know what to pack for me, and I’ll finish the rest tomorrow morning,” he answered. “So, do you need help?”After a pause, Plan slowly moved aside and let him enter the room.As Mean stepped inside, he saw the fully packed suitcase standing at the foot of the bed, and Plan’s carry-on backpack on his desk, next to a mostly crossed-off packing list. It looked like Plan had already finished, and had been all alone and anxious until now.Mean deeply regretted that he hadn’t picked up on this earlier. Even more so, when Plan practically jumped onto him and pressed himself tightly against his chest.He reluctantly closed his arms around him and sighed inwardly. He should have told the agency to adapt his schedule, even if it meant postponing his album for a week or two.“I’m sorry,” he murmured.At these words, Plan looked up at him with big eyes.“What for?”“That I wasn’t here.”Burying his head in his chest once more, Plan quietly shook his head.Mean felt helpless.No matter how much he had tried to imagine how unnerving this situation might be for Plan, he must have underestimated it massively.“It’s okay,” Plan finally muttered, almost inaudibly. “You’re here now. You’ll be there tomorrow.”Luckily, Mean thought.Over the last week, he had talked through everything with his parents. The ground crew of their airline had been alerted in advance, and they should be expecting them. Mean had chosen seats that allowed him to be close to Plan, hopefully without raising suspicions, even if that Laure girl found a way to sneak in and see them.Despite finally having a name and a face to the Black Hand leader, Viola’s research into her had come up disappointingly fruitless. All she managed to solve was the mystery of why Cameron had called her Sar-: apparently, she was a die-hard fan of French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre, and had found a way to cite him in every class she had attended in her first week – so persistently, that people had quickly started calling her that as a nickname.But other than that, nothing important.“Do you want me to walk you through it again?” he asked.Without looking up, Plan shook his head against his chest once more.Then, he suddenly raised his head, showing an enigmatic smirk.“You could distract me…”Of course, Mean knew exactly what he meant by it, but he couldn’t help smirking back.“Really? How?”“Go to the kitchen and get dinner for us.”He… What?His surprise must have been written so plainly on his face that Plan stepped back a little and felt compelled to explain himself:“So we don’t have to leave the room anymore until tomorrow.”*~*~*When Mean returned to Plan’s room with neatly packed bento boxes and two bottles of water, he was surprised to find Plan sitting on the edge of the bed in his underpants, smiling enigmatically.Mean gulped.Plan must have been much more serious about wanting to get distracted than he had expected. Not that he hadn’t hoped that they would find a bit of time to spend alone together before they went abroad under the ever-present eye of the Black Hand leader, but…“Lock the door,” Plan said, gazing at him coquettishly from a half-lowered head.While Mean turned around to do as he was told, he noticed that Plan had already closed all the blinds, assuring their privacy. Of course, Plan’s room being on the ground floor, he would have taken such precautions before undressing, but it still raised the anticipation Mean felt inside.“I’m just gonna put this…” he lifted the bento boxes up to draw attention to them, “over… over there.”As much as he thought he should be used to seeing his boyfriend half-naked, finding Plan like this, both seductive and oddly vulnerable, still affected him. Particularly when Plan only smiled sweetly, and nodded at his suggestion.Walking over to the desk, he tried to get back his bearing somewhat – but failed, feeling Plan’s presence behind him, even though he wasn’t physically close.“Shouldn’t I be the one being nervous?” Plan commented amusedly, when Mean nearly missed the desk while putting down the bento boxes.“Maybe it’s like maths.” Mean slowly turned around. “Multiply two negatives to get a positive.”It was the only way he could explain it to himself, anyway: Plan had been so nervous about the flight before, that the additional nervousness of finally getting intimate again had somehow cancelled it out and he was now unsettlingly calm.Plan chuckled in response.“Nerd.”Not even Mean turning around and walking towards the bed seemed to shake Plan’s mood. He smiled, and when Mean was closing in on him, he slowly slipped off the bed, onto his knees on the rolled-out sleeping mat on the floor and looked up with the sincerest innocent eyes imaginable.“You said you’d do it if I beg,” Plan said. “So… I will.”With these words, he bent forward, as if he was praying at an altar in a temple.“Please, Mean, consider me.”It… what?When Mean didn’t react quickly enough, Plan sighed, and blurted out:“Please, f-fuck me already, you promised.”Sure, Mean had told him to beg for it, it had been fun, teasing him, challenging him to push his comfort zone. But…“Are you sure this is the right moment?” He asked, not hiding his doubts. “The first time might leave you feeling weird for a bit, and you’ll have to get through a 12 hours flight tomorrow no matter what.”Without changing his position, Plan lifted his head, showing impressive determination.“I don’t care. Please, Mean, I want it.”Tentatively, Mean got on his knees in front of him, and reached out to run his hand through Plan’s hair.“I’m just…” he began softly. “What brought this on? I don’t want to do it for the wrong reasons.”“Ugh,” Plan grunted, now looking up obviously annoyed. “It’s almost as if you don’t really want to do it after all! Why make me beg for it? Just say you don’t want to do it, and we can…”That wasn’t…Mean sighed.Since Plan had made no efforts to shake his hand off, he continued to play with his hair and tenderly caress his head.“I really want to,” he said. “And I think you’ll enjoy it. It feels amazing after a while. But… Aren’t you going through a lot of new experiences already, with the flight coming up? Is this the right moment to add one more? There’s little we can do to prevent you from feeling sore tomorrow.”“It didn’t hold you back,” Plan argued.Mean grimaced.He might have blamed it on the experience of sleeping on the floor that day, but that didn’t deny the fact that your body needed time to get used to doing something for the first time and he had been sore.It hadn’t bothered him too much, the good had far outweighed the uncomfortable. And each new time had felt better than the previous, the more he had learned to relax into it on instinct.But… could they really risk making Plan’s first intercontinental flight even more unsettling, if he turned out not to be as chill about it as Mean was?“I didn’t go on a 12 hours flight afterwards.”“No,” Plan replied. “But you slept on the floor and complained about it like the princess on a pea.”There were times when you had to admit defeat, Mean thought with a sigh. In the end of the day, Plan was an adult and he was capable of assessing the consequences of his own actions.It wasn’t like there was no possibility to stop it and go with what they were used to, if Plan changed his mind along the way.“I’m not completely new to all of this, you know,” Plan then added, causing Mean to stop the automatic caresses of his head right on track.The silence between them was loaded with unspoken implications. But… hadn’t they both had no experience beforehand?Wasn’t that… what was he even…Thankfully, Mean wasn’t left with his own speculations for long, and crucially, before his thoughts drifted into unsavoury territory.“Since… since I talked to Win, about… you know,” Plan started.Mean wasn’t sure if he was happy to be reminded of Plan’s ex-boyfriend in this situation, despite knowing about the talk they had had after the White Hand meeting at this house. But he was curious where this was going.“It bothered me that I couldn’t answer his question,” Plan explained. It looked weird, listening to him talk like that, while he was still bowing on his knees in front of Mean. “And you and I kept missing each other these past weeks, so I couldn’t ask you to help me… Therefore…”He smiled cheekily.“I used my own fingers… in the shower, to find out how I felt about it.”As… characteristic as this was of Plan, to be methodical about something he wanted to learn about… something about this revelation disappointed Mean. He’d… he’d have wanted to be around for that first…It was stupid. It would make things easier now, wouldn’t it?Plan’s reluctant gaze and the subsequent frown indicated that Mean didn’t need to speak out his thoughts for him to understand.“Oh, don’t worry, baby,” Plan hurriedly clarified. “I didn’t go deep. I didn’t look for that… that spot. I didn’t do it to get myself off, either… just to test a bit, get the weirdness out of the way… there’s still plenty of things you can teach me.”Finally, he bowed his head to the floor once again, even wriggling his butt suggestively in the process.“I’m very eager to learn from you. Please, show it to me.”This did it for Mean.He had asked Plan to beg – and Plan had done it, albeit in a much more meticulous way than he’d have thought.It… well, it suited him.“As you wish.”Without another word, Mean leaned forward, letting his hand wander down from Plan’s head to his neck. He paused to circle the mole on the back of his neck with his finger, savouring the slight trembles this caused in his boyfriend’s body. It was a sensitive spot that never failed to elicit a reaction – but also one he needed to be careful with.Touching him in the wrong way there could easily pull Plan out of the zone and make him squirm not with pleasure, but with discomfort. Knowing this made Plan’s current subservient stance all the more meaningful.Mean was suddenly overflowing with affection for his boyfriend and his quiet show of trust.He took his time to crawl closer to him, explore his exposed back with his hands and strategically placed kisses. Plan had asked to be distracted; Mean would give him enough to last for the night.*~*~*Plan exhaled, when Mean finally moved behind him. He was still clothed, but at least he had finally gotten the message.All the objections Mean had had were valid, of course, but Plan had thought it all through while he had packed his bags this afternoon.It was worth the risk.He trusted Mean not to hurt him, and he was confident that he could live with a little soreness. If First Class in that plane was everything the advertising made it out to be, he would not have to worry about having to sit on uncomfortably hard chairs, either. Having to work the next day would not have been better.His experiments under the shower had at least taught him how not to clamp up if something knocked at his backdoor.But most importantly, doing this was something to take his mind off of things.And, he didn’t want to wait until they returned from their trip. If the last weeks were any indication, it could easily happen that they were bogged down with work again, the minute they returned. Mean in particular, with the rehearsals for his debut.If the choice was doing it now, in his own room, or hoping that they would find enough privacy in one of the rooms they’d be in abroad… he preferred it here.And Mean was finally not holding back anymore.Plan inhaled sharply, when Mean leaned forward and let his hands wander determinedly around him until they met in the middle of his stomach.With Mean’s chest pressed snugly against his back, Plan was pulled up onto Mean’s thighs. Before he could wonder where to put his hands, Mean took them one after the other, and slipped them under his own, firmly against Plan’s naked stomach.Plan gulped.Mean nuzzled his head into the crook of his neck, and moved it just enough to place soft, wet kisses onto his cheek. Plan could already feel the growing evidence of his boyfriend’s arousal pushing against his butt through frustrating layers of clothes.“Are you gonna do it like this?” he asked, turning his upper body around as far as he could with Mean holding him tightly.“I plan on removing some clothes, first,” Mean chuckled, and kissed the side of his lips.How frustrating!“Duh!”Instead of stopping, Mean’s chuckles got louder, and with each laugh, the warm air he exhaled brushed over the slightly wet-kissed spots on Plan’s cheek, sending shivers down his spine.Plan playfully tried to wriggle himself out of the lock Mean was holding him in, shivering even more when he realised that he couldn’t. All it accomplished was a firmer grip around his hands, and a tighter hug around his waist.His butt cheeks were now pressed so flush against his boyfriend’s still frustratingly clothed crotch, that Mean’s hard dick was poking inescapably into his soft skin.Plan sighed.“Yes, I’ll do it like that,” Mean then hushed against his heated-up cheek.And with another frustratingly amused chuckle, he added:“I thought you should have one first all for yourself, too.”One first?It was hard for Plan, to get his thoughts clear enough to understand what Mean was hinting at, particularly when one of Mean’s hands loosened its hold on his wrist, and callously started wandering upwards, over his ribs and to one of his nipples.The pinch that followed caused Plan to moan embarrassingly loudly. It only intensified when he realised that Mean’s other hand had taken hold of the Plan’s he had freed just before, leaving him defenceless against the roaming touches, and the subtly grinding hips behind him.“Ah, Mean!” Plan shouted, with an anger that got drowned in an energetic groan from a pinch on his other nipple.One first… they had never done it… from behind?Thinking was overrated.There was no room for complex thoughts, when he was at his boyfriend’s mercy like that. A boyfriend who was determined to take full advantage of his situation, now directing his attention further down, and into Plan’s boxers.Along with the hand that was teasingly brushing over Plan’s hard cock, Mean was sucking hot kisses onto his jaw.The thought that concealing hickeys would be a bother on tomorrow’s flight only crossed his mind briefly, and was drowned immediately in the more urgent sensation of cold air on his cock as Mean pushed down his boxers.If he continued like this, Plan might come like an embarrassing teenager from just a few more touches – and he was coherent enough to understand that he didn’t want that.He wanted Mean to keep his promise, to give him what he had begged for – and he didn’t want to wait until he had recovered from a precocious orgasm.“Please… slow… slower!” he begged, barely realising that begging wasn’t all that hard anymore, all of a sudden. “Please! I don’t want to come!”Mean’s hand let go of his dick immediately, leaving Plan whimpering, and regretting his words.“You don’t want to come?” he asked amusedly. “Are you sure?”“Not yet!” Plan shouted quickly. “Not yet! Later!”While he was panting, trying to steady himself out, Mean moved his hand onto his belly and rubbed it instead.“Aren’t there things, what are they called? Love rings? You can put on,” Mean said, with a soft giggle against the crook of Plan’s neck. “They make it harder to come? Maybe we should get these for you…”As he said the last parts, he let his hand wander downwards again, dangerously close to Plan’s barely calmed erection.“You’re a… tease,” Plan complained. “Please… more.”Mean giggled a bit louder.“More teasing?”There wasn’t more than a groan in response, as Plan tried to wriggle himself out of his predicament.“I… I… want,” he put so much emphasis on that word, that it came out like a command.His muddled brain was already expecting the follow-up tease, asking him what he wanted.But it didn’t come.Instead, Mean snorted “Yes, sir!” against his cheek, and carefully lowered both of them down until Plan’s forehead came to rest on his sleeping mat again.“Stay,” Mean then ordered, as if he was a dog, and let go of him.Copying Mean just before, Plan said “yes, sir!”, and obediently didn’t move, while Mean pushed himself away from him.Plan whimpered when he lost the last touch on his body, trembling slightly in the cool air-conditioned air.“Hush,” Mean said soothingly, but his actions spoke differently.He quickly pulled down Plan’s boxers– and Plan instinctively lifted his legs one after the other to get it out of the way entirely.He was bowing again, his butt pushed up in the air, and a rock-hard dick, wet with precum.Utterly exposed.“You’re looking great,” Mean said cheerfully, and annoyingly unaffected compared to Plan’s worked-up state.While Plan was cowering on the floor, yearning for more of his boyfriend’s touches, he could hear the rustling of Mean taking off his own clothes.Plan could have sighed, if it weren’t so embarrassing, when the distinct sound of the drawer on his bedside table announced that Mean was getting ready.“Last opportunity to change your mind,” Mean said, with a soft slap on one of Plan’s butt cheek.Plan groaned in response.“If you don’t do it now, I swear, I-” he blurted out angrily, only stopping because he didn’t know what he’d do.“So eager,” he heard Mean mutter.So what if he was eager, it was true, he had missed this, Mean, them… for way too long.Plan sighed with relief, when Mean finally popped open the lid of the bottle of lube, and squeezed it liberally between Plan’s butt cheeks.The sudden impact of the cool liquid on his heated-up skin made him shiver. But Plan didn’t have room to linger on that sensation, since Mean’s palm was now on his butt, one finger teasingly directing the liquid to flow sluggishly downwards, towards the sensitive nerve-ends around his waiting bud.Ah, Mean’s finger hadn’t even reached it, yet, and Plan was already taken aback by how different it felt, of it was someone else’s hand making its way inevitably towards his entrance, than when it was his own.He steadied himself on his arms, trying to contain the soft, anticipatory trembles in his legs as Mean’s finger got closer.‘Relax,’ Plan reminded himself. ‘Just relax.’Soaked with pooled-up lube, Mean’s finger finally reached the rosette, exposed and slightly twitching with anticipation, as Plan tried to entice his boyfriend to get on with it.With a careful, slick movement, Mean’s finger poked inside.Plan breathed out in a sigh of unexpected relief that his body had remembered how to relax.“Wow,” Mean commented, as he let the finger glide in deeper, “you weren’t lying, you really did test it.”‘I did. I did,’ Plan thought like a mantra in his head.As relieved as he had been about being able to take the finger without much trouble, Plan was now struggling to process the unfamiliar and slightly unsettling sensation of receiving someone else’s fingers inside of him, without the ability to control where it went, and how fast.Plan had a new kind of respect for Mean, for having been brave enough to go first on their camping trip. He experimentally clenched his butt around the finger, exhaling as it highlighted how unfamiliarly filled he was now.It only prompted Mean to hum, and push the finger inside with more determination.Plan inhaled and relaxed, causing the fingertip to brush against something… something that made his legs tremble, and his cock twitch with urgent interest.An uncontrollable sigh escaped him.“What… what was that?” he asked, surprised, despite knowing the answer.“Feels great, doesn’t it?”As if to underline his statement, Mean continued to massage over that point a few more times, until Plan shuddered energetically and moaned both “stop” and “more” in the same incoherent muddle of words.He panted, when Mean moved his finger away from it and continued his exploration.“This has been nothing, yet,” Mean commented with a chuckle. “Just wait until we get to the really good part!”He slowly pulled out the finger and gathered more lube, while Plan silently cussed at him.“Let’s see how well you take two,” Mean announced.As he put his plan into action, he slid his other hand around Plan’s hip and lightly wrapped it around his cock again, while he eased both fingers inside slowly.Plan groaned, half from the stretch, half from the infuriatingly teasing hand around his dick, barely touching, but making him aware of every one of its incontrollable twitches.“We should really get one of those rings for you,” Mean announced. “You’re already dripping.”There was nothing Plan could say in response but whimper, as Mean’s fingers had found that spot again.“P-Please,” he whined, surprised he could still form a word.“Awww, my baby is so good. I told you to beg, and you do it so beautifully,” Mean commented, moving the fingers around inside with less care, and causing Plan to shout out an annoyed “Fuck you!”“Tks… always with the swearing.”Plan didn’t care anymore.“P- Please!” he whimpered miserably. “I want you.”It turned into a sigh of protest, when Mean let go of his cock and leisurely pulled out the fingers.“How could I say no to that?” he commented happily.With panting breath, Plan pressed his forehead against his sleeping mat and his butt upwards, impatiently waiting for Mean to put on the condom and come back already.The simple sound of the bottle of lube being squeezed once more made Plan shiver in anticipation. He had barely managed to steady himself, in his sudden touch-less desolation, and he felt like he couldn’t wait much longer.When Mean returned, to the worked-up Plan, it felt like ages later, he un-ceremonially reached around to grab Plan’s eagerly twitching dick, as if it was a conveniently placed handle. Then, he steadied himself and Plan could feel the tip of Mean’s cock teasingly poke against his entrance.“Aww, come on!” Plan shouted, and moaned when Mean started to push in slowly.It was a stretch, it was harder, more unyielding then the fingers, and Plan was utterly conflicted between thanking Mean for going slow and giving him room to adjust, and begging him to go faster.Plan didn’t know if he could take faster, even with Mean’s hand stroking soothingly over his dick, distracting him, and the short, affectionate kisses that he was trailing onto his shoulders as he leaned forward.An unexpected sigh from Mean keenly reminded Plan that he wasn’t the only one experiencing something new right now.“It’s… tight,” Plan breathed out, happy to get his attention away from the tension building inside his entire body. “Isn’t it?”He was impressed when Mean still managed to chuckle.“So tight,” he said with another content sigh. “Ah, really tight. Pressure feels so good!”Now that he was at least halfway in, Mean let go of Plan’s dick and moved his arm firmly around his waist instead, still pushing in slowly.Plan groaned in protest, but Mean couldn’t be swayed.Instead, Mean pushed himself up with the arm he had used to steady himself before, and pulled a surprised Plan up with him, until his thighs came to rest on Mean’s again.Overwhelmed from the unexpected movement, Plan moaned, and instinctively tried to use his now free hand to hold his own cock and bring back the stimulation Mean had deprived him of.Unfortunately, his attempt was interrupted immediately, and Plan found himself trapped in Mean’s embrace once more.“Take the rest yourself,” Mean breathed heavily against Plans neck, while his arms pulled him closer invitingly.Plan relaxed, leaned back, and let himself glide down on Mean’s hard dick with panting breaths, until his butt cheeks were flush against Mean’s hips once more.Just without any clothes.With a sigh of relief, Plan turned his upper body around as far as he could, echoing their dry run earlier. He smiled softly at Mean, who was tightening his grip around him.They both leaned in to let their lips meet, and Plan closed his eyes to receive the passionate kiss.The heat from it seemed to travel through his entire body. He clenched around Mean’s dick buried deep inside of him and smiled into the kiss when his tongue sensed the slight tremble Mean’s body made in response.‘So close,’ he marvelled.He couldn’t tell where his body stopped and Mean’s began.So close.“Move,” Mean said, half commanding, half desperate, and Plan didn’t have to be convinced to do it.Steadied by Mean’s embrace, he started to rock up and down, grunting increasingly more uninhibited every time he received another electrifying push against the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him.As he got more and more wound up, Mean let go of Plan’s hands and subtly directed him forward until Plan needed to steady himself on his hands.He stopped rocking back. Mean took over and picked up the pace seamlessly, as if they were improvising on a piano again, perfectly in tune.Plan turned his head to look back smiling, feeling like screaming with joy when Mean smiled back.He couldn’t maintain this pose, though, when Mean grabbed his cock again.Plan lowered his head, groaning in wanton pleasure.It was too much.Too much, every new thrust felt more intense.It shouldn’t be possible.He couldn’t take it anymore.How could he...?His entire body was rocking back and forth.It was...He really couldn’t take it anymore.His body shuddered, and Plan came hard, ecstatically moaning Mean’s name.While Plan limply dropped forward with panting breath, he could feel Mean’s still hard dick inside of him, every time his butt clenched together involuntarily, like trembling aftershocks of an earthquake.Despite his delightful exhaustion and the mounting sensitivity of all of his nerves, he still quietly encouraged Mean to continue, until he felt him stop behind him, softly rocking into him as he came into the condom.Moments later, Mean sliped out and happily collapse onto Plan’s back.Means head landed smoothly next to Plan’s.They smiled at each other, as they came down from their high.Mean was absent-mindedly playing with Plan’s hair, while Plan was fighting against an unexpected urge to fall sleep.“It felt amazing,” he said softly, looking at his beautiful boyfriend through blinking eyes.“Told you,” Mean replied tenderly.Plan didn’t know how long they remained like this, contently laying on his mat on the floor, smiling at each other.It felt like their connection had never felt stronger, and in his befuddled, post-orgasmic bliss, Plan knew that begging for this had been worth the risk.“Let’s eat,” Mean suggested, when they were both ready to move again, “it would be a shame to let it go to waste.”Plan nodded.“Plus, I’m starving!”While Plan only sat up to lean against the bed, Mean scrambled onto his feet and Plan watched him as he walked over to the desk with a new lightness in his step.Plan himself felt strangely empty, now that Mean wasn’t next to him anymore.After Mean had returned with the bento boxes, they shared the meal propped up against the bed in silence for a while.Then, Mean tentatively turned to Plan.“Can we… do it again? Later?” he asked shyly. “It… It’s been so long… I miss you… inside of me, too.”Plan smiled.He could understand Mean better, now. It had felt amazing, earlier. But somehow, it looked as if no matter how much he had liked it, Mean… liked it even more.“Maybe we should get you one of those plugs,” Plan suggested, “if you’re already going to buy love rings for me.”Mean looked at him, scandalised.“Don’t believe I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” he said mockingly reproachfully.Plan shook his head in confusion. He… didn’t know what Mean was on about.“You know more than I do, then,” he answered.“You think you can pacify me with a butt plug, so you can have all of me yourself,” Mean explained. “Don’t think you can get everything, just because you begged once.”Plan shuddered, even more confused.“So… you didn’t like it?”It was hard to believe; he had enjoyed himself so thoroughly… it hadn’t felt like Mean wasn’t happy to tease and take him like he did.“That’s not it,” Mean assured him. “It was really amazing… we can do it again like this. Many times! But…”“But?”Plan gave him an appropriately questioning look.“I also want you to take care of me,” Mean said, “I think… It… It looked like you were having such a good time earlier and it got so intense, I was afraid…”Mean’s insecure words made Plan’s chest swell with affection.He reached out and softly caressed over his boyfriend’s cheek.“Nobody said we’re only allowed to do it one way forever,” Plan said tenderly. “I’m happy to take care of you later, as thoroughly as you want. Let’s finish eating and relax a bit, first.”It would only be fair. If Plan was already getting sore, Mean could just as well join him in solidarity.With Plan leaning his head against Mean’s shoulder, they continued their meal, calmer now.As they ate, Plan began to understand what Mean had meant.Their styles had instinctively been different from the start. If Mean was in charge, he liked to be controlling and teasing, and they both liked how steamy it could get.It had been so explosive that it might have been understandable if Plan never wanted to do it differently.But when Plan was in charge, their lovemaking became more affectionate, the more they got carried away by it, and it could get intense in a different way. It certainly left them less physically exhausted, and there was room for more enjoyable repetitions later, if they wanted to.Neither was better than the other. And Mean deserved to be taken care of tenderly, too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Are you sure we won’t miss the flight?”Plan shifted nervously, while he sat in the back of Mean’s car, waiting for his boyfriend to come back from the house.“Don’t worry,” Tio answered from behind the wheel, ready to drive off again. He seemed oddly relaxed despite the delay. “We have already checked you in, and you’ll get to go through the fast lane for the baggage drop and the security check. We’re still early. There’s plenty of time.”A sceptical glance sideways to Win sitting next to him told Plan that his friend was tense, too.How could Mean let this happen?After last night had worked wonders for his nerves, and he had slept like a baby, Plan really hadn’t expected to be annoyed with his boyfriend of all people.But…He groaned at the mere memory of the morning so far.They had woken up with plenty of time to spare, and they had both needed it just to get out of bed with their sore bodies. Still, Plan had managed to keep his nerves in check. They had finished breakfast quickly and had already been waiting in front of the house when Tio had returned from fetching Win.Then, after about ten minutes of driving, Mean had suddenly noticed that he had forgotten his passport at home.How in the world could anyone forget something as important as a passport? The only thing you really needed to travel abroad?Plan was sure that he would be able to tease Mean about it later, when the entire situation would hopefully be nothing more than a funny story. But right now, he wasn’t laughing.So, Tio had turned the car around at the next junction, and here they were, waiting for Mean to find the document in the house and come back.Plan should have insisted that Mean packed his bags last night, too. It was probably partly his fault… he had asked Mean to distract him, and they had spent the better part of the evening distracting each other in different positions on the floor and on the bed, until they were both sore and blissfully exhausted.And the worst thing was… maybe not the worst, but certainly up there… Win seemed to be able to guess exactly what had gone down between Mean and him.“Shhh, Plan,” he whispered, when he spotted Mean running down the stairs with just a hint of awkwardness in his movements. “How naughty have you been last night? Did you fuck his brains out?”Just as he said that last part, Mean opened the door on the passenger side.“I heard that,” he said.At first, Plan wanted to look away in second-hand embarrassment. Why did Win have to be so damn forward?But then, Plan caught Mean’s satisfied smirk and he relaxed.“What if I said he did?” Mean answered, kneeling onto the passenger seat and wrapping his arms around the headrest to smile suggestively at Win.Tio wordlessly started the engine and drove towards the gate, not bothering to tell Mean to sit down properly first. Plan would have to make sure to thank him. Tio seemed the only level-headed person in the car right now.“If you’re so interested in our private life,” Mean’s eyes showed a mischievous glint as he continued. “Why don’t you tell us about yours, too? Quid pro quo. Did you finally get laid by that mysterious guy you’re seeing?”Plan didn’t know what he had expected in this situation. He was way too nervous about the flight, anyway. But maybe it shouldn’t surprise him that Win didn’t even blush at Mean’s question. He merely smirked back mysteriously, not really answering one way or the other.Plan felt like rolling his eyes at the topic of their conversation, but held it back. He didn’t want to provoke either of them more.A change of topic would be appreciated.While he had told Mean everything about his talk with Win the other day – it was only fair, Plan had figured, that he didn’t wait for Mean to hear about it from someone else – he hadn’t named any names for Win’s love interest. He actually didn’t know if Mean still suspected Vic, or if he thought Viola and Rose had been seeing things the other day.“Sit down,” Tio reminded Mean when they had to slow down at the junction leading up to the highway. Since Mean didn’t react fast enough, Tio slapped his thigh to underline his point.Mean grumbled, but climbed down into the seat and fastened the seatbelt properly.The city outside was still lying half in darkness, only the sky slowly shifting towards blue was indicating that the day would break, soon. If they were lucky, they would get to the airport before the morning rush hour truly started on the highway, and they wouldn’t have to fear getting stuck in traffic.There would have been no such worry at all, if Mean hadn’t made them turn around and lose an entire half an hour with his passport shenanigans. They might already have been at the airport, or close to, by now.Plan debated with himself whether he would really have preferred being at the airport already. Actually dropping off the baggage and going through all the steps at the airport would just make it real.That he was really leaving Thailand.That he was really going to attend this high-level conference.If they didn’t miss the flight… maybe he was just destined to miss the flight, regardless of what Tio had said.He couldn’t continue with these nervous thoughts for much longer, though, because Win leaned over to him unprompted, and whispered in his ears:“Psst, we actually did it.”While Plan tried to process this information and figure out what to say in response, Mean turned his head back to them.“What are you whispering about?” he complained. “Come on, share! We shouldn’t have any secrets in White Hand…”There was one good thing about this conversation for Plan, at least: he was quickly forgetting that he should be worried about the flight. A tiny voice in the back of his mind even wondered if Mean and Win had secretly agreed to do this in order to distract him.Plan quickly looked from Mean to Win and back. It seemed like they were both waiting for him to say something.“What are you looking at me for?”Win chuckled in response.“Tell him, I don’t mind…”
Ugh.
It wasn’t fair!Now he had Win grinning at him smugly, and Mean looking expectantly.Weren’t they both here to support him? Wasn’t this the reason they were joining him on this trip? Why where they putting him on the spot like this?“He said that they did it,” Plan announced, rolling his eyes.The smugness in Win’s face became almost unbearable, while Mean broke into a smile. The only two people in the car not happy about this conversation were Tio, who grumbled something about Mean sitting still and letting him concentrate on the road, and Plan, who just… he was nervous, okay?“Uhh!” Mean exclaimed. “How was it? Spill the beans!”“Are we really talking about this now?” Plan asked and groaned when he saw Mean’s smile unchanged on his face.“Come on, Plan, relax!” he shouted, apparently forgetting that not even a month ago, he had been so scared that someone could find out about his sexuality that he hadn’t even dared to search for information on how sex worked between two guys.“You two already talked about it, I’m just jealous that you didn’t include me,” Mean happily continued. “We’re all friends here, aren’t we?”“Wait…” Plan frowned. “Is this revenge for that?”Mean laughed and shook his head.“Why revenge? I think it’s fun and you should have included me then, too.” He twisted his upper body around even more in an attempt to look at Win who was sitting behind him. “So, how was it?”“What do you think?” Win asked back, smug expression unchanged.Plan could only roll his eyes once more.Was this his fault? Did he just have a type? Even though he was finally convinced that Win had moved on, and Mean and Win had become real friends rather than rivals along the way… they seemed to share the same stupid competitive streak, that was now leading both of them to try and get the other to expose himself first.While the other two were continuing their staring match, made awkward by Mean’s position in the front seat, Plan cleared his throat.“I could spill the beans on both of you, you know…” he said slowly, very deliberately.Win gave him a vaguely suspicious look and silently mouthed ‘what do you know?’“I know who your mystery guy is,” Plan answered dryly.The way Win’s mouth opened in a surprised ‘oh’ was cute.“Yeah, you could start be telling me this.”Mean nodded.Before the tension of their staring contest could be resolved, and Plan was compelled to spill either of their secrets, Mean’s phone rang.Plan exhaled with relief. Whoever was calling really saved him right now.“Hi Viola!” Mean said, not entirely unsurprisingly. “Wait… I’ll put you on speaker…”A moment later, Viola’s voice could be heard over the car’s sound system.“Now, can you tell me where you are? We girls have dropped off the baggage, only waiting for you,” she complained.“We would already be there, if someone hadn’t forgotten his passport,” Plan answered, before Mean could say anything.“Seriously Mean?” Viola chuckled. “Again?”“Why do you know it was me?” Mean protested.“Because neither of the other two is careless enough for that,” she replied.“If you say you girls are there, is… she there, too?”There was a pause, and muffled shuffling sounds coming through the loudspeakers, then Viola whispered:“Yeah, and she has already taken pictures and asked questions and stuff. But she’s so weird…”“How so?” Mean helpfully asked.“She’s… so silent. Like… she barely talks… she’s just kind of there, and you forget about her. I think that’s her thing. You’d never suspect her of being a journalism major and running such a bold blog and everything. I’m sure it’s just an act… but damn, she’s consistent. No wonder I never found her.”Another pause indicated that Viola was probably looking around to make sure the Black Hand leader wasn’t listening in.“She seems eager for you three to arrive, though,” Viola then continued, in an even more hushed tone. “Be careful… I did your thing, Meanie, but I think Plan should stick to Win for now.”The next pause was so long that Plan was already suspecting that she might have cut the call, then, her voice came back at her normal volume:“Oh, I hope all of you have airport masks,” she added. “There are at least a hundred fans here already, maybe more. If their signs mean anything, most of them are here for you, Plan. I think they saw the picture of your packed bags on the photo app and figured out which flight you’ll take.”She laughed.“And your regular groupies are here, too, Meanie. Be nice!”With that, she disconnected the call, and Mean lowered the phone.“Why would people come to the airport for me?” Plan asked.As much as he had gotten used to having people following him around at Uni and the numbers of followers on the photo app steadily climbing, he still had a hard time understanding why people would be fan of a physics student.“Why shouldn’t they?” Tio asked calmly. “It’s your first trip abroad, people love your social media, and they admire you for what you have accomplished. Just be polite and wave, and things will be alright.”“Maybe you should come with us until we have to go through security,” Mean said to Tio. “If people want to give us gifts, we can’t take most of it with us on the flight.”Plan didn’t even bother to ask why people would want to give them gifts… if Mean said that, he’d know what he’s talking about.“Of course.” Tio nodded.Fans… Plan hadn’t counted on also having to deal with them. He hated that he had to keep to Win instead of Mean, at least until they were on the plane and they would have to separate because they were flying in different classes.Stupid gossip.His cheeks suddenly heated up a little, when he realised that he would have to walk through the airport, and that people might see that he was still walking a little awkwardly… and so would Mean.Would people notice that?Maybe he should ask Tio or Win to pull him along sitting on his fancy new suitcase. If he didn’t walk much, nobody could see that he was suspiciously sore around the middle.At least the topic of conversation had now moved away from the annoying standoff between Mean and Win from before.*~*~*When Plan was finally dropping into the comfortable single seat by the window on the plane, he exhaled so loudly that not just Mean turned to check on him from behind, but the foreign businessman who was stowing his briefcase over the middle seat next to him as well.“I’m sorry,” Plan said meekly in English, and put his hands together to greet and apologise politely.The man smiled.“Your first flight?”Was it this obvious?Plan nodded.“Oh, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” the man said in his English with thick French accent. “The First Class service on this airline is excellent. Since they put Bangkok-Geneva on their schedule, I have never booked another airline for this trip anymore.”In response, Plan bowed and thanked him for the nice words.When the man looked at him confused, Plan felt compelled to explain to him that the young man in the seat behind him was actually the son of the ownership family.“Ah, I thought you resembled the guy on the advertisement,” the man answered, smiling at Mean – who was also bowing in thanks.“Thank you very much,” Mean said and lowered his voice. “Please, don’t draw attention to it. I’m only here to support my friend.”He nodded at Plan, and Plan felt a little sting in his heart, hearing him call him his ‘friend’. He knew, of course he knew, why they had to act like friends even now, that the deadly quiet Black Hand leader was somewhere at the back of the plane in Economy class, safely out of earshot.The quiet, imposing presence of that girl was the main reason why Plan had exhaled when he had finally reached his seat. Getting through the departure hall had been challenging enough, with fans filming him as Tio dragged him to the baggage drop sitting on his suitcase, while others had taken pictures of all four of them – including Tio.Plan had had time to check his social media while he was waiting in the lounge of the departure gate with the other members of White Hand – and under the watchful eyes of Laure. Most comments were very positive, people gushing over how cute he looked, sitting on his suitcase like that. But there was also a lot of buzz around Tio – people trying to figure out who he was, and why he had accompanied through the entire departure hall, and had left hands full with bags containing presents for Mean, Plan, and even a few for Win.Then, that horrible girl had wanted to take a picture of all of White Hand together with the plane in the background – and she had subtly insisted on putting Plan next to Win. She had also made an off-hand comment on how inconsiderate she thought Mean was for flying First Class along with Plan, when he could easily have kept the group together; not so subtly insinuating that he shouldn’t have separated the lovers.Rationally, Plan should be happy that she had bought into the WinPlan diversion so thoroughly, and was even using it as a way to throw shade at Mean... but Plan hated it.All he had wanted there, in the waiting area, was feeling Mean’s reassuring hand on his shoulders, or maybe even a tight hug, and the reassurance that everything would be alright. But because of that bi… because of her, they had had to keep their distance.At least, his nervousness about not being let through security or the passport check or anything had been completely unfounded – and contrary to what he had feared in the car, actually getting to the airport and onto the plane for real, had calmed him down a lot.The journey now wasn’t just a vague thing in his imagination anymore, it was tangible, a seat to sit in, a small airplane window to look out through, and a very friendly flight attendant helping him with everything he was unsure of, treating him like royalty.Sooner than he thought, a voice over the loudspeakers announced that boarding was complete, and the crew was preparing the plane for take-off.Plan relaxed. He was getting more giddy than anxious, now that they were finally moving.When the safety video started to play on the little screen in front of him, Plan was in for another surprise.“Psst, Mean,” he climbed onto his seat to look over the headrest at his boyfriend behind him. “Why haven’t you told me you’re in that video?”It’s cute, he thought – but didn’t dare to say it. Mean looked so young and handsome in the video, demonstrating how to properly fasten the seatbelt. Like a true idol.“Don’t watch it, it’s embarrassing,” Mean replied with a frown.Plan wanted to argue that safety was important, and that he should pay attention to what he would have to do in case of an emergency, but by the time he had sat down onto his seat and fastened the seatbelt once more, the video was almost over.The plane was already taxying towards the runway. Plan couldn’t wait to experience the marvel of physics research and engineering that was a modern airplane lifting off and flying up above the clouds.It was happening. Finally!He pressed his body back into the seat as the plan accelerated, ignoring the dull persistent ache he felt in his lower back from yesterday’s activities, and only let go of the breath he had been holding when the plane had lifted off the ground.Plan smiled, as he watched the noisy, busy city of Bangkok getting smaller and smaller underneath them, while the plane rose higher and higher into the air.How strange.How wonderful.This poor, backwater farm boy was really sitting in the most expensive part of this large plane rapidly gaining altitude – and he was really going to see the country he had grown up in from high above the clouds, and leave it behind for a while.He should wave at his grandparents somewhere far below the plane, who had no idea that their grandson was travelling to Europe.Aa he remembered their weather-worn faces, he made a mental note to send them a postcard – and buy a souvenir for them, in case he ever found the opportunity to return and visit them in the future.A distinct sound announced that the seatbelt sign was finally switched off, and the pilot made his first announcement. While he was trying to listen to the nasal voice speaking in English, Plan was surprised by Mean, who had left his seat surprisingly fast and was quickly lowering Plan’s seat into a lying position to make room for both of them to sit on it together.“How are you?”Plan could only smile broadly in response.Everything was better, now.“Great!” he said, already turning his head to the map on the screen again, and out of the window, “this is amazing. Look at how small everything seems from up here!”Mean quietly closed the blinds on the side of the seat that Plan would never have found on his own. As soon as they were pulled far enough to afford them some measure of privacy, Mean leaned forwards and encased him in the warm hug Plan had craved for since they had left the house in the morning.He nuzzled his head into Mean’s shoulder and suddenly felt like he could cry with relief and happiness.They remained like this, just hugging each other, breathing through calmly, Plan couldn’t tell for how long… until the flight attendant knocked on the blinds.After Mean had moved away a bit and had opened them, she asked them if they wanted anything to eat or drink, happily explaining all the other services the airline provided for their First Class passengers along the way.She couldn’t entirely hide the nervous flicker of her eyes upon realising that one of the passenger in front of her was the youngest son of the Attachitsataporn family, but she took it gracefully in Plan’s opinion.The next thirteen hours didn’t look so bad, he thought, when she returned with the two glasses of Champagne Mean had ordered for them, along with a very fancy looking platter of appetisers.Plan had no idea what these small delights were made of, or what they were called, but he trusted Mean to tell him how to savour it.“To a successful trip,” Mean said, lifting the glass.“To a successful trip.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
As the plane slowly descended towards Geneva Cointrin airport, Plan had his nose glued to the window. It was already dark outside, but now that the plane was getting closer to their destination, he could make out the snow-covered peaks of the alps, faintly shining in the moonlight, and the lights of settlements in the valleys shimmering through thick fog between them.It looked like a surreal dreamland.Or, as if he was stuck in the loading sequence of one of the video games Mean had hooked him on a while ago.The flight had gone by much faster and more agreeable than he had expected. There had been surprisingly good food, he was able to just chill with Mean, watching movies together – and if they needed something, the flight attendants were always quick to help out.He even got to use the shower to refresh himself before they had started their descent, which Mean had told him was a privilege only First Class passengers had.He wasn’t even nervous about landing, and attending the conference the day after tomorrow.Mostly, he was just really tired. Mean had told him to stay awake on the plane in order to make the adjustment to the new time zone easier.It had worked so far, at least. He would certainly have no problems finding sleep tonight…And then… it was suddenly all over very quickly.The plane breached through the high fog, he could see the city lights approach rapidly, and the plane was touching down onto the runway a few moments later.Plan released the breath he had been holding, when they had finally slowed down and began to taxi towards the gate. He tried to get a first glimpse of the city outside, but all he saw was really just… an airport.“Don’t forget to put on your coat and beanie,” Mean reminded him, as soon as the plane had come to a halt and they were getting ready to disembark.Plan nodded a smiled goodbye at the businessman who he had talked to before take-off, and received a cheerful “enjoy your stay” in return.If Plan had been sceptical about Mean’s advice, he would have understood the merit of a coat and beanie, as soon as he stepped onto the bridge connecting the plane to the terminal. Even though they were inside the jet bridge, he shivered from the noticeable change in temperatures.They were among the first people getting off the plane, and Plan automatically moved behind Mean, so he could follow him through the maze of the foreign airport. However, as soon as they had a bit of room to step aside, Mean stopped and told him he wanted to wait for the others to arrive.If they were lucky, they might even be able to evade the Black Hand leader for a while.“Wow, you look fresh. Were you even on the same flight?” Win said as soon as he spotted them waiting. He was looking noticeably less energetic than usually.“Don’t give them too much credit,” Viola replied, coming up behind their much taller friend. Both she and Rose somehow managed to look relaxed and well made-up, too. “That’s just the magic of First Class.”Plan shrugged.This had been his first flight. He wouldn’t know.“I would have gotten First Class seats for all of you, if it hadn’t already been fully booked. But… you know, rich country, there are enough people who can afford to fly First Class,” Mean said defensively, and nodded at Viola to get moving.To Plan, it looked like she was in charge of the travel organisation. He hadn’t realised it at home, he had mostly relied on Tio to get everything ready. But it made sense. Since Mean had been so busy with his recording sessions, Viola as the interim leader would have taken over this task.“Let’s get through Immigration quickly, there should already be a taxi waiting for us outside.”As Viola took the lead, Plan followed, trying desperately to get a grip of the increasingly unfamiliar situation. They descended into an underground walkway that connected the terminal with the main building – or so he assumed.He definitely wasn’t in Bangkok anymore.The walls on both sides of the passage were covered in big billboards, mostly advertising tourist destinations in the alps – and watches.So many pictures of actors and classy models presenting luxury watches. Plan hadn’t even known that there were so many different brands of luxury watches – and it looked like they were all produced in the region.His gaze automatically wandered to Mean’s wrist. He had never noticed the watch there before, but now that these ads were everywhere, he wondered what brand it was.It looked just as expensive as the ones on the billboards; just another reminder that Mean fit in naturally in places of luxury like this, whereas Plan felt small… like a fraud.What was his business being here?It was hard to remember that this entire trip was happening because of him, because he had been invited to join a conference at CERN, and that he was tasked with representing the cutting-edge research Prof. Marsden was conducting at UdG.But he needed to remember that. He had a place being here. He had been invited.People were expecting him.Still, it didn’t help that he now noticed the watches on Viola’s and Rose’s wrists, too; elegant designs, less flashy than the one Mean wore – but just as expensive-looking.The only one in their group sticking out as much as Plan, was Win, who was trotting wide-eyed behind the three original members of White Hand just like him.Now that he was thinking about the others… where was the Black Hand leader?He looked around, but didn’t see her anywhere.She had such a forgettable face and unassuming posture, though, that he wasn’t positive he would recognise her if she had changed her clothes on the way here. Or… even if she hadn’t.It was a pity… how much he would give, now, to be able to hold Mean’s hand while they went through all the arrival procedures, rather than mindlessly trailing behind the rest of the group. They were far away from home.If that girl wasn’t with them, nobody would recognise them, and they might not have to hide so much for once.
But alas.
Plan straightened his back and continued on, getting through passport control and most of the rest of the airport on autopilot, not really taking anything in anymore.That Laure girl didn’t catch up with them until they had reached the baggage claim.She looked so tired and worn-out, that Plan almost felt sorry for her.Almost.Nobody had asked her to come with them and make the entire trip more tedious for everyone. So… no reason to pity her.*~*~*“Where is everyone?” Plan asked into the silence of the taxi.He was sitting at the window in the back row of the big van taxi Viola had organised for them, and tried to make sense of the scenery outside.If he had felt that the descent towards the airport had looked like a loading screen for a video game… something about that game must have loaded incompletely.The streets looked empty.Sure, there were cars on the streets passing them and lining up in front of traffic lights. There were some pedestrians about, too, it wasn’t like there was nobody around. But compared to Bangkok or Chiang Mai, hell, even the village back home, there were no people out and about.Combined with the squeaky-clean roads and solidly built old European buildings, it really felt like a lazily rendered video game environment.“It’s winter, it’s cold. People are inside,” someone said in a quiet, bored voice.Plan turned his head away from the window and realised that it had been Laure. She had barely said anything since they had met up all the way back at the airport in Bangkok, and he hadn’t recognised her voice.He wished she would go back to just being a silent nuisance.He had made a simple observation; no need to get all sarcastic about it. Not everyone had grown up in Europe, like her.This might look like home to her – it certainly didn’t for him.The only thing breaking the sterile cleanliness of this place, that Plan noticed as they drove closer into the city centre, were graffiti sprayed randomly on the walls of apartment buildings or bridges and underpasses.Most of them were neither especially artful nor beautiful. Just quickly smeared on tags in mostly black spray paint.He hated that the presence of the Black Hand leader now made him second-guess himself; whether he could share more of his observations with the others.Maybe if he wasn’t so tired from the flight, her stupid comment might not have bothered him – observing the world around him and trying to understand what it all meant was kind of what had brought him here in the first place. But right now, he just felt self-conscious about it.Luckily, the trip to the city centre didn’t take much longer. The taxi drove up a small slope along what looked like a historic rampart, and as they rose, they could oversee the park below them.Plan’s eyes opened with wonder.Along the paths in the park were little picturesque wooden booths adorned with Christmas lights, a big, lit-up Christmas tree at the centre of it, and what felt like more people than they had seen so far, squeezing through the lanes between the brightly-lit booths.It looked like something out of a fairy tale. Only the snow was missing.“Oh!” he couldn’t help but shout. “What’s that? Let’s go there!”While Win eagerly joined in his enthusiasm and quickly agreed, Laure’s bored voice again threatened to kill all of his delightful wonder.“Christmas market,” she said.“I’m sure we’ll find time to go,” Viola offered, and when Plan tore his gaze away from the lights of the market, he saw that she was frowning darkly at the Black Hand leader.“Maybe not today, though,” Mean added.Of course, not today.Today, all Plan needed was a flat surface and a rug or a mat on the floor and a warm blanket he could curl up into. Or… a bed he could share with Mean away from the prying eyes of that horrible girl.The taxi had slowed down to almost a crawl, as it manoeuvred through the narrow and sometimes steep cobbled streets of the old town, picturesque and empty like a theme park attraction after closing.Was this place even real?The cold that hit him as soon as the rear door of the taxi was opened at their destination resolutely reminded him that it felt real enough. Even with his warm coat and his beanie, the air was fresher and colder than anything he had ever experienced – and days and nights could get pretty cool at the village at home, too, during the winter months.Nothing like this, though.He shivered and stepped out onto the cobbled street, trying to make sense of his surroundings, while the taxi driver was helping the others heave all their luggage out of the car.Plan could hardly believe that both Viola and Rose had come with two big suitcases each, and another smaller carry-on one – for just one week away from home. They had more luggage than Plan had owned most of his life… and maybe even now, despite all the new stuff Tio had helped him buy.Looking around, he noticed that they had stopped at the foot of the cathedral, smack in the middle of the old town.A middle-aged Thai lady came hurrying out of one of the buildings next to the cathedral, clutching her cardigan tightly around her upper body while she put her hands together to greet them in traditional Thai fashion.Plan suddenly felt oddly comforted by the sight of her – at least there was someone familiar in this foreign place.He watched Viola happily chatting with the lady and finally receiving the key to what must be the apartment they would be staying at for the next four nights.“Please, send my grandpa’s regards to your husband, too,” Viola said, when she had finished talking through all the formalities with their landlady. “He might pass through here on his way to the chalet next month.”“Of course,” the lady answered, “you know your family is always welcome here.”They nodded at each other as a goodbye, and Viola led the way into the building.The sudden warmth of the heating inside felt almost as uncomfortable as getting out into the cold. Plan was definitely not used to such sudden temperature shifts and he wondered if he would be able to adapt, before they returned home once more.“Our apartment is on the top floor,” Viola explained in a hushed voice, as if talking in the hallway was a crime.Maybe it was. Plan wouldn’t know.“There’s an elevator over there, but it’s old and small and doesn’t fit more than three people at the time with all our luggage.”Viola pointed in the direction of the elevator, and they quickly agreed that the girls should go up first.The door had barely closed behind the girls, and Plan was already automatically looking at Mean.Was it too risky to go in for a quick kiss, before the elevator came down again?“Don’t hold yourself back on my account,” Win said dryly.Were they this obvious?Plan didn’t wait any longer. He determinedly closed the distance between his boyfriend and him, and risked an unexpectedly passionate kiss – eager to take advantage, before the window of opportunity would close again.He automatically pulled away, though, when he heard the elevator door open upstairs. Even if Laure couldn’t see them from up there – better safe than sorry.When he dared to look up, still feeling unusually heated up and flustered – he was blaming it all on the heating inside the building – he caught Win shaking his head, smiling.‘What?’ Plan mouthed silently in his direction.Win’s smile only broadened in response.Ah, Win should just wait until Plan saw him together with his lover – he’d pay him back for his smugness.Win might pretend that his thing with Vic was nothing more than a casual fling, seeing each other, but Plan had spent enough time with his ex these past two weeks to notice how obviously infatuated he was. And… not just because Win had been excited about the prospect of finally having someone he wanted to have sex with… no matter what Win was telling himself.It didn’t take them long to cramp inside the small and dangerously outdated elevator cabin when it returned.There was only one solid wooden door on the top floor, and Viola was standing in front of it, waiting to open it for them as soon as they had exited the elevator.Even though they had been cautious, Plan was grateful to her for keeping their arrival hidden from prying eyes. He didn’t need rumours about his relationship – neither the real one nor the one their annoying guest had cast him in.After having lived at Mean’s family’s mansion, Plan had expected that he was accustomed to luxurious rooms – but he still felt overwhelmed by the apartment that he was now stepping into.Beyond a small entrance area providing generous space for their shoes and coats, the apartment opened up into a living room furnished like Plan imagined an old European castle would be. A parquet floor, covered in the middle by an expensive-looking Persian rug, two embroidered armchairs, and two equally fancy sofas arranged around the centrepiece of a carved wooden coffee table.On the antique chest of drawers on either side, were potted plants and statues, some clearly imported from Thailand. On the walls above them hung abstract oil paintings.But the thing that really made Plan’s jaw drop were the panorama windows beyond the sitting area, opening up to a rooftop terrace and a view over the roofs of the city below, the smoothly dark surface of the lake, and the lights mirrored in it.Plan left his coat and suitcase in the entrance area, and hurried to the French door leading onto the terrace, forgetting everything else, even the biting cold that hit his face again as soon as he stepped outside.He couldn’t believe this.He hadn’t seen anything like this before.Smiling from ear to ear, he leaned on the railing and just took everything in. When his eyes had gotten accustomed to it, he began to see a line of snow-covered hills shimmering in the distance beyond the city line. And after a while of just looking at the old, unfamiliar stone buildings below him, he began to notice the blinking lights of planes landing behind them, too.So… this was where they had arrived, not too long ago.
Weird.
Everything was so small and compact here.And silent.He couldn’t remember ever having been at a place this silent, let alone a city. Both Bangkok and Chiang Mai had a permanent hum of traffic, honking drivers, and people shouting and chatting in the streets. Even at his home village, the sounds of nature around them and the murmurs of life in the village had given him comfort.Maybe this place wouldn’t feel so silent if he was used to living here – but for Plan, it just reinforced the impression that something was missing from this place.He was unexpectedly pulled out of his quiet contemplation, when the bells of in the tower of the cathedral behind him suddenly started to play a melody.It was all the more poignant because it loudly broke the silence he had noticed before.He quickly turned around to look up at the bell towers and the spire over the roof behind him. This was… unexpected.After the melody had finished playing, the deep chime of the hour bell gave him goose bumps. If he counted correctly, it was 9 o’clock in the evening.Would… the bells do that every hour, every day?Or was 9 o’clock somehow special?“You’ll learn to tune it out,” someone said behind him.When Plan turned around, he saw Viola standing in the terrace door, waving him in.“The bells?” he asked.“They play a portion of the melody every quarter of an hour, then the big one chimes once, twice, or three times… and then the entire melody comes on the full hour, like it did just now,” she explained.Every… quarter of an hour?Were they crazy?“Don’t worry, I brought earplugs,” Viola laughed.Wasn’t it ironic?Here they were, in such a silent city centre, but they needed earplugs to sleep, because of church bells?“Come in, before you catch a cold,” Viola said, stepping aside to invite him in.Plan didn’t argue – he had almost forgotten about the cold, while he had been mesmerised by the pretty view – but now that Viola had mentioned it again, he really should get inside.He had been stupid enough to take off his coat before running outside.Stepping into the living room from this side finally revealed the corridor leading away further into the apartment on his left-hand side, and the open door leading into the kitchen right in front of him. He hadn’t seen it coming in, because it was located right next to the entrance area.He saw Rose already searching through the kitchen cupboards, while Laure was sitting on the carved wooden bench at the long kitchen table, head propped up on her hands, eyes half-closed.Plan wouldn’t have minded if she had gone to sleep already.“We let you boys have the big bedroom at the end of the corridor,” Viola said, closing the terrace door behind them, and carelessly handing him a package of earplugs. “I think Mean and Win are already unpacking. Rosie and I will take the master bedroom on the right side, and Laure is in the small one over there. Your room has an ensuite bathroom. We’ll take the one outside.”He nodded absent-mindedly, and walked into the corridor.Only when he had almost reached the closed bedroom door, where he could hear the soft murmur of Mean’s and Win’s voices, did he remember his suitcase and quickly hurried back to fetch it.He really needed sleep, his brain wasn’t functioning properly anymore.Luckily, they had had so much food on the plane that he wasn’t even hungry right now.Compared to what he had seen of the rest of the apartment, the big bedroom looked surprisingly plain when he entered. There was just one double bed at the centre of it, and a single bed pushed under the big window looking out onto the cathedral square. An antique wooden wardrobe was the only other piece of furniture… oh, and three chairs functioning as bedside tables.It was clear that the owners of this apartment only used it as a secondary home. Or, maybe as a place to entertain posh guests, judging by the pomp of the living room. All it was missing from looking truly like a room in a castle was a chandelier.But the owners had obviously not invested much into the bedrooms.Not that Plan minded.He would probably sleep comfortably on the Persian rug in the living room, if he somehow got himself exiled from their room.“Do you think it will be safe for us to share the bed?” Plan asked in a hushed whisper, looking at Mean.“Of course,” Mean answered, not bothering to keep his voice down. “This is a no girls zone.”Somehow, Plan suspected that Mean wouldn’t have been so adamant about not allowing any girls inside, if it wasn’t necessary to keep Laure out.“Vi even gave me the key to the room,” he continued, holding up the ancient-looking key on its plain keychain. “She won’t disturb us in our sleep, don’t worry.”Wasn’t it pathetic, that they needed to lock their room in front of their friends?“Whatever you say, I won’t sleep outside,” Win announced defiantly. “I know you thought about it.”Plan shook his head.He hadn’t.As long as Laure didn’t catch them cuddling up to each other, Plan’s mind was far from… whatever dirty thoughts Win was entertaining.“Get your mind out of the gutter, Win,” he said, rolling his eyes.“Awww, so touchy.”Plan didn’t dignify that with an answer. He wordlessly turned over his suitcase and pulled out the flannel pyjamas Tio had insisted he should buy for this cold climate, along with his travel kit, and walked to the door he presumed was the bathroom.“Good night,” he said grumpily.Through the closing bathroom door, he could make out Mean’s words scolding Win for not being supportive enough – but in truth, Plan didn’t care.Maybe he wouldn’t even need the earplugs.Now that the novelty of everything was rapidly waning, and all of his tiredness was catching up with him, he felt dizzy. He hoped he would figure out how things worked around here, before he had to hold his presentation at the conference on Tuesday.But that still felt a long way off.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Darkness.Plan opened his eyes wide, but he couldn’t see anything at all. In a bout of disoriented panic, he thought he had gone blind, and for a moment, he didn’t know where he was.Then he remembered.The flight. The drive through the nearly empty streets of Geneva at night.Now that his eyes had gotten accustomed to the darkness, he could even see the faint green light of the LED on his phone… indicating it was fully charged.The first chime of the hour bell on the cathedral not only reminded Plan what had torn him out of his sleep so suddenly – the melody that had preceded the hour bell – the rest of the chimes also informed him that it was 5 o’clock in the morning.Ugh. He should have taken time to put in the earplugs before he had gone to sleep last night. But he had been too tired to bother, and had fallen asleep before the others had turned the lights off – and closed the blinds, judging by the pitch-black darkness in the room.Before Mean had joined him in bed.He was here, now, though. Plan could feel his comfortably warm body next to him, one of his arms possessively around Plan’s waist.With a sigh, Plan snuggled himself into the embrace of his boyfriend, and tried to find sleep again. But… he was wide awake, now.It wasn’t that surprising. At home, it would be 11 o’clock already, he’d head for lunch, soon. The darkness around him just made the entire situation feel unreal again. His body was awake like it was in the middle of the day, and there was little to help him orient himself in the room. Not even his usual keen sense of space could help him in here, with nothing to root himself in.Except for Mean, still sleeping.Plan reached out, and when his hand touched Mean’s chest he gasped. He hadn’t really noticed it before… Mean was shirtless.How could he?Plan immediately pulled the blanket up as far as he could, making sure to cover Mean, too.It was so cold in here. Plan could feel it despite the blanket and his warm flannel pyjamas. He didn’t want Mean to catch a cold… not when they had to pretend that Win was his boyfriend instead.Mean chuckled.Plan twitched and only just managed to hold in a scream.He couldn’t do that!“You’re awake!” he whispered angrily.“Did I scare you?”“Shhh,” Plan hushed, “don’t wake Win.”It wasn’t easy, talking to Mean, without seeing him.“Why?” Mean asked, lowering his voice to a whisper as well. “Do you have naughty thoughts?”Plan tried to prod Mean a little, to retaliate, but he misjudged the distance and hit him quite hard, causing Mean to groan.“Shhh!”“I didn’t know you were into this kinky shit,” Mean said, still keeping his voice low, but Plan thought he could almost hear the smile in his words.“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”The rest of his words were silenced by a gasp, as Mean’s hand on his back had wandered downwards and was pushing up the top of his pyjamas.“What are you doing?” Plan whispered indignantly. “It’s cold!”“I’ll keep you warm.”“Mean!”Plan covered his mouth with his hand after nearly shouting his boyfriend’s name out loud. But he was wavering. Even though their last times together, back in his room in Bangkok, weren’t that long ago, it felt like an eternity, after the flight and everything that was new in between.Maybe Win had used the earplugs, and he wouldn’t hear them?It was an alluring thought. It had to be true.Plan fumbled around Mean’s upper body in an attempt to figure out where he was, until he accidentally rubbed over a nipple, strong enough to make Mean inhale sharply.“Are you crazy?” Plan hushed, not really sure if he meant himself, or Mean.“Look who’s talking.”“We shouldn’t…”Contrary to his words, Plan leaned in, pushing Mean half back into the mattress when he had found his shoulders – and he didn’t stop Mean from pulling his pyjama top off. He could only hear it hit the floor somewhere behind him.“What if that had hit Win?”“Don’t care,” Mean answered, and giggled, when their heads bumped into each other – thankfully not strong enough to actually hurt them.“Ouch!” Plan still panted. “Stop laughing.”“Make me.”As much as Plan wanted to, it was easier said than done. He finally managed to push Mean all the way back into the mattress, nearly losing balance as they got close to the edge of the bed, and kept him pinned down enough to guess where his head was.Hearing Mean’s soft giggles certainly helped guide him, when he leaned down and, after bumping into his nose, found Mean’s lips.He was greeted surprisingly eagerly, so eagerly, that they both soon had to muffle each other’s moans with their mouths.This was stupid.Reckless.And still, Plan willingly helped guiding Mean’s fumbling hands to the seam of his pyjama bottoms.“Please,” Mean whimpered, “please, give it to me. I missed-”Plan’s befuddled mind was already trying to figure out the logistics for what Mean was begging for, when a loud, very clear and audible “hm hm” sound from the other bed stopped him in his track.
Oh shit.
With a nervous giggle, Plan collapsed forward onto Mean’s chest, who was close to bursting with laughter.“Sorry… Sorry Win!” They both shouted.Plan felt flush with both embarrassment and lingering arousal.At least he wasn’t feeling cold anymore.“You’re shameless,” Win groaned, “seriously.”Despite the rather sobering interruption, Plan could still feel Mean’s hands at the seam of his pyjama bottoms, and it seemed like he was hesitating if he really wanted to stop after all.“Mean!” he hissed.“Guys! Please!”As much as Plan wanted to get off of Mean, they were so close to the edge of the bed that he was scared one or both of them would fall off if he moved – and his shameless – or horny, more likely – boyfriend still couldn’t keep his hands to himself.It wasn’t really Plan’s phantasy, to continue any kind of sexual activity in front of his ex-boyfriend, and he groaned in frustration.A sound that Mean seemed to misunderstand as invitation to continue to push down his pyjama bottoms and massage the skin underneath.“Win!” Plan shouted, almost desperately. “Please, turn on the light!”“Wha-”Mean’s protest was cut short by the sudden blinding light of the ceiling lamp.Plan blinked at the harshness of the light, after the darkness before – but at least he had the presence of mind to make sure both he and Mean were covered with the blanket.As soon as his eyes had adapted to the light, Plan quickly slipped off of Mean, and onto the large empty space of the bed beside them. He even pulled Mean with him enough to make sure he didn’t tumble off the bed.“Thanks!” Plan said, slowly turning towards Win.His ex-boyfriend was half sitting up from his bed, with a serious case of bed-hair, and blinked in Plan’s direction.“What were you guys thinking?”Not much, clearly, Plan thought.He was annoyed.With Win for being in the room, though it wasn’t his fault.With Mean for tempting him.With himself, for letting himself get pulled into this... for still feeling needy.And with that horrible quiet girl sleeping in the other room, who was the reason Win had to share the room with them.“You could at least have asked me to join you,” Win added, smiling broadly.He didn’t... this was not something to joke about, seriously!And of course, Plan could feel Mean leaning up behind him, spooning him – he could feel his lingering erection just teasing against his back, drawing attention to the remainder of the soreness from... technically just one night ago.“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Mean said provocatively, wrapping his arms around Plan so possessively that he had to exhale sharply.Could they not?“I thought you had your mystery lover now,” Mean said. Plan could feel the glare in his face without seeing it. “Maybe he’s not as good as you think?”“Guys!”It was Plan’s turn to protest.This was weird. This was a mistake.“You wish,” Win retorted, glaring at Mean, completely ignoring Plan.Well, at least, it made sure Plan didn’t feel so acutely aroused anymore.“Can we all calm down, please?” he said, hating the hint of desperation in his voice.“I’m sorry, Plan,” Win said quietly, and Plan was happy to see that his glare softened.Mean’s embrace also loosened, but Plan could still feel his breath tickling on the skin on his back, and he just... couldn’t.“What now?” Mean spoke what everyone was thinking.“You could... take a shower together?” Win offered.For a moment, Plan was... tempted. Anything... anything to get that edge off.But...“While you are in here, knowing exactly what is going on?” he asked incredulously.It was kind of a buzzkill, wasn’t it?“Didn’t stop you before...” Win pointed out.Plan groaned.Not just in frustration of the situation, also because he was hyperaware of Mean’s quietly wandering hand under the blanket.“We thought you were asleep!”Win laughed.“Should I have pretended to stay asleep?” He shook his head. “I heard more than I ever wanted to know, thank you very much.”That was... no, Plan didn’t even want to think about that, they had been stupid, trying anything while Win was in the room.He could feel Mean shift behind him, half sitting up, though his hand remained on Plan’s chest.“You could go to the kitchen for a while?” he suggested.Win nodded and seemed to want to get up and move out.“And alert her?” Plan said, stopping both of the others on their tracks. “Can you imagine the trouble we’d be in if she saw Win in the kitchen and... heard us? In here?”Win held up his hands defensibly.“Well... you suggest something.”Plan breathed through deeply a few times.“Maybe we could all get dressed and take a walk outside? It will be cold enough to cool us down, won’t it? Might be dawn soon, too?”He only realised how stupid that was when he had already said it. This wasn’t Bangkok, they were on the Northern Hemisphere, in the middle of December. Dawn wouldn’t come for a while.But... well, a night walk wouldn’t be bad, either? Maybe they could find breakfast somewhere on the way back?Mean shifted again behind him, and Plan hated that he pulled away his hand, though it certainly helped him calm himself.“Let’s do that,” Mean said.Plan could feel the movement in the mattress behind him as Mean got to the edge of the bed. He relaxed, now that the warmth of his boyfriend’s body wasn’t there anymore, though a trace still lingered.“I have a plan for the afternoon,” Win said smilingly. “I’ll take the girl off your backs.”As he stood up, he eyed Plan, and probably Mean standing behind him, amused.“You can thank me later.”*~*~*Plan shivered, when they stepped out into the cold night about half an hour later. The warm coat Tio had talked him into buying really came in handy, as well as his insistence that he should buy a beanie.The fog had cleared overnight, he could even make out a few sad stars in the sky that weren’t obscured by light pollution. The absence of the cover of the fog had made the temperatures plummet – probably below 0°C, but to Plan, every winter temperature would feel freezing.He turned around to wait for Mean and Win to follow.Mean stepped out last, testing the key on the front door before it closed.When they were all standing on the cobbled street, Plan stretched his arms and took a deep breath. The fresh, cold air stung in his lungs, but it felt good. He was definitely awake, now.“Let’s go,” Mean said, nodding in the direction of the empty place in front of the cathedral.Plan wouldn’t be the one to know how to navigate this place, so he wordlessly trailed after Mean, while Win was already half running ahead, full of the boundless energy of a sports student who had been confined to cramped up spaces for too long.“It’s so strange that there’s just… nobody here,” Plan said, when Mean had stopped to let him catch up with him.He would probably have found it less strange if he hadn’t seen the same last night already. It wasn’t so far-fetched that people were sleeping in the dead hours of a Sunday morning. But there was literally nobody here, except for Win and the two of them.Like a post-apocalyptic desolation, a perfectly well-kept old town, centuries old, just wiped clean of all people.“I’m sure we’ll find people,” Mean answered, holding out his hand for him to grab.Plan hesitated and sceptically looked up on the building behind them.What if that girl looked out of the window and saw?“The windows of her room look out over the other side,” Mean said, shaking his hand invitingly for Plan to take. “If she didn’t go into the Master bedroom with the other girls, she won’t see us.”Despite this explanation, Plan still had to check again, whether the blinds were closed on all windows on the fourth floor.They were.This finally convinced Plan that he could risk it, and he gladly took the hand. Still, he instinctively quickened his pace, trying to tell himself it was just because he wanted to catch up with Win, who was now running ahead and back to them like an overeager young dog.Plan breathed through again, letting the cool air sting him – smiling at Mean. Even though they had slept in the same bed and very nearly had made love right in front of a not really sleeping Win, he felt deeply relieved, that he could finally walk around holding Mean’s hand for once.They couldn’t even do that in Bangkok.“If we turn around into that alley over there, we will be out of sight of the apartment, and she won’t know where we went,” Mean said calmly.He had usually been the more reckless of the two in public so far. It made sense that he would look out for opportunities, Plan mused.“This looks like a set of one of these medieval fantasy movies,” he observed as they walked along.The alley was narrow, between two historic sandstone buildings, a lone ornamental lantern illuminating it, supported by the light coming from the cathedral behind them. He could imagine that the same lantern had already been there before electricity was harnessed, with a man on night watch walking through the sleepy alleys to light it every evening.Just to underline his point about the medieval fantasy set, they reached a sort of shelter area displaying ancient cannons, and colourful mosaics on the walls. Win was already excitedly walking around and inspecting the cannons.Plan rolled his eyes and smiled – he didn’t need to wait long for Win to make exactly the type of obscene gesture he expected from him.“You can be glad there are no people around,” Plan shouted.It almost sounded like there was an echo in these empty alleyways.He suddenly heard the soft clicking sound of a camera, let go of Mean’s hand, and turned around in panic.“Ugh, Mean!”With his heart beating frantically, Plan saw that it had only been Mean, holding up his phone, taking pictures of Win and the cannons.“You!” Plan shouted angrily, pointing his finger at him. “You scared me!”“Relax, Plan,” Mean said calmly, softly shaking his head. “Nothing will happen.”Plan stumbled backwards, while Mean advanced, until he bumped into a wall behind him and he was cornered by his boyfriend.He looked up and gulped.“I’ll protect you,” Mean said, towering over him.His gaze was intense... and incredibly sexy in Plan’s eyes.Impatient as he was, Plan didn’t want to wait for Mean to say something even sappier, and pulled him down into the kiss he was clearly going for. Mean couldn’t look this hot and determined, and think he wouldn’t be affected.It felt different, connecting their cold lips, their bodies padded out by the thick coats they wore – and yet, it was still Mean.Plan relaxed.This was familiar, comfortable.He leaned in, allowing Mean to deepen the kiss until they quietly moaned into each other’s mouths again, seamlessly taking up where they had stopped in the room before. The air out here suddenly didn’t feel so cold anymore.Why did he ever agree to get such a warm coat? Mean’s wandering hands were back now, too, running callously down his back, warm even through the thick layers of fabric and downs between them.He had missed him.So much.He never wanted to part, he just wanted to continue-“Get a room!”Win’s voice from behind Mean finally pulled Plan out of the kiss.“We had one!” Mean answered, turning his head away from Plan to glare at Win.“Wow,” Win said and smirked devilishly.He still looked too handsome for his own good, Plan had to give him that.There really were no other feelings but friendship left between them, but Plan had to admit that he definitely looked like a model.No wonder that Mean’s family had been very happy to give him a contract, so he could get the visa through the company – they’d probably have taken him even without that.Plan could congratulate himself for having a great taste in men… when it came to looks at least. Not so much when it came to stupid competitiveness. As he was reminded again, seeing Win strut confidently towards them, until he was right next to Mean.“I didn’t know you were into exhibitionism,” Win said, grinning at Mean in an obvious challenge. “You really wanted me to hear you get it on, didn’t you? Did you think I would be impressed?”“You wish,” Mean retorted, echoing Win’s words from earlier in the room.Seriously, those two, Plan thought and groaned to himself.He pushed Mean away from himself, gently, but still determined enough not to risk getting blocked, straightened his back, and looked at both of the other guys sternly.“We came out here for a walk, let’s continue,” he said. “Someone here clearly needs to walk off his excessive energy.”A small satisfied smirk graced his lips when he saw both of them lower their heads a little and meekly agreeing with him. That was right. He had deliberately not said which someone he had meant.All three of them, frankly.Mostly Win, though.Plan walked off towards the cannons, holding his hand out for Mean to take.*~*~*When they had finally returned back to the apartment building, Mean was exhausted.At first, their morning walk had been fun, Mean had been happy that he could finally just openly hold hands with Plan, without prying eyes anywhere, and Win continued to be an adorably energetic puppy. They had looked over the sleeping city from the ancient ramparts that they had seen from the car, and Plan had happily pointed out the interesting buildings he saw, and the snow-covered hills around the city, faintly reflecting the moonlight.The Christmas market looked a lot less impressive without all the lights on, but Plan had still been excited to see the pretty wooden cabins, and Mean had loved it. They would definitely go there before they left, and have mulled wine and gingerbread.Then, they had descended down into the newer part of the city – though compared to other places, it was still fairly old, 19th century maybe.By that time, Mean could definitely see Plan’s point about the city feeling deserted. Even down here, there had barely been any cars passing by, and only a few passengers in the busses and trams that passed.They had crossed a few groups of very drunk, and very rowdy partygoers on the way home from a club night – and Mean had sensed that Plan was almost grateful to see that people here were actually… alive.After walking around aimlessly, window shopping in the empty central street, they had tried to find a bakery that was already open, to buy bread and croissants for breakfast – but that wasn’t obvious in a place where everything looked closed.In the end, they had walked all the way across the river Rhone, through an area where coaches were already collecting tourist groups on their way to their next destination, and to the train station.Plan had joked that he had seen more Chinese tourists flocking around these coaches, preparing to leave, than locals in the streets.It had been worth it, though. They had found a nice French bakery, where Plan nearly freaked out over all the different and exotic types of bread and pastries they had there. He had insisted on taking way too many pictures to post to his followers on the photo app – and Mean had ended up buying more food than the six of them could hope to eat.Because neither of the three of them had been able to figure out how the public transport system worked, and they had failed to explain to a bored taxi driver where they wanted to go, they had ended up walking all the way back, too.Win and Plan had been slowing them down by taking selfies with the bakery bags in front of the city lights reflecting in the lake as the approaching dawn had turned the sky blue.The walk back had been longer than expected, which was why Mean was exhausted, and in a weird state between heated up from sweating underneath his coat, and freezing from the cold weather.“Ah, there you are!” Viola shouted, even before they had properly stepped into the warmth of the apartment. “Where have you been?”“Buying breakfast,” Mean answered, hearing a rustling sound behind him from Win, holding up the bags of baked goods they had bought.“Do you plan on feeding an army?”Mean shrugged.“Too many things someone wanted to try.”“It’s okay,” came Plan’s voice from behind Win. “You can say it was me!”“It was him,” Mean confirmed.One thing he hated about being in a place with a cold climate was how long it took to get out of all these layers of outside clothes, before he could enter the apartment properly.But eventually, they all made it into the kitchen, where Rose was already sitting at the table, drawing new patterns in her sketchbook that looked like something she might have seen on the way here.And then there was… Laure.She sat in the far corner of the bench, hunched over her phone, silently cursing under her breath.Mean had to contain his smirk.Did she want to write something on her stupid blog already?He remembered that Viola had indirectly let him know through their conversation on the phone back at the airport in Bangkok, that she had placed their little program – and it looked like it was working.As predicted, she seemed to blame the WiFi of the house – that worked flawlessly for everyone else, rather than suspecting any foul play.“Why don’t you boys sit on the bench while I make coffee?” Viola said, pointing at the empty seats next to Laure.Mean wasn’t particularly keen on sitting next to that girl, but at least if he was next to her, he could try to spy on her phone and learn something – which he suspected was Viola’s intention. Thus, he moved in first, followed by Plan, and Win on the outside.Nice guy that he was, Win offered to help Viola make coffee, but she declined. Apparently, this apartment had an original Italian espresso machine, and only people specifically instructed by their landlady were allowed to use it; which of their group were only Viola and Rose.Instead, Win got up to get baskets for the baked goods, and he even thought of getting plates, mugs, and cutlery for everyone.“Awww, Win, you’re so well behaved,” Mean commented.He wasn’t really surprised to be met with a glare in response. Mean just liked to rile Win up – and Win could easily take it.Now that the last bit of awkwardness between Plan and Win had been settled, Mean had actually started to like Win a lot, as a friend. He wouldn’t forget how Win had genuinely tried to help him out with Plan, despite also having feelings for him – and Win had shown a lot of touching loyalty towards White Hand already.“Unlike you,” Win replied. “Not everyone can grow up in a big house full of servants and maids at their beck and call, like you.”Mean wanted to protest, wondering when Win had gotten that idea about him, but then, he luckly caught Win’s gaze, the subtly raised eyebrows, and almost unperceivable nod in the direction of the girl next to him.Ah, he got it now!Out of the corner of his eyes, Mean saw that Laure was indeed looking up from her phone, watching Win with new interest.She didn’t say anything, though.Was this part of Win’s plan to take her off their backs this afternoon?If so, Mean would have to show him his gratitude later. Surely, there was something Win wanted.“That has nothing to do with where I grew up,” Mean still argued, not leaving Win’s gaze, hoping to create another opening. “I’m just stuck on the bench here, or I’d help you, too.”“Sure you would,” Win said, smirking, squeezing himself onto the bench next to Plan.They all now sat quite close together like this, forcing Laure to move to the head of the table, while Rose and Viola took the chairs on the outside.Mean certainly wouldn’t complain that Plan’s thigh was now pressed against his, and if he was being bold, he could even try to take Plan’s hand in the shadow under the table, or rub it over his thigh.It was surreal how much he craved to be alone with his boyfriend, how urgently he wanted to have him all to himself once again – and continue where they had left off before the flight. He just wanted to feel Plan inside of him again, filling him up so good… so overwhelming.That feeling was addicting. Nothing else could scratch that particular itch, and he needed it.Ah, he needed to keep his dirty thoughts in check. Wasn’t there this trivia about how often per day men thought about sex? He used to think it was bullshit, before he had met Plan, and had stopped hiding his true desires… but now?It was worse.If this continued, he’d need to take a time-out on the terrace in the freezing cold air outside…A small glance sideways to Plan was all it took to convey to his boyfriend how annoying this entire situation was – at least that’s what Mean thought, when Plan blinked back with an understanding nod.He tried to keep his thoughts from wandering too far away and watched a bit too intently as Viola put down steaming cups of coffee in front of everyone.At least… if he looked at Viola, Laure would feel validated in her assumption that he and Viola were an item.Soon, they were all eating breakfast, chit-chatting about the flight, the annoying bells of the Cathedral and their morning stroll through the city – but Mean had to force himself not to look dreamily at Plan eating the whole time.How cute could one person be?He was glad that he had had a reason to justify going on this trip with him. Watching Plan discover all these new things made him feel like he was seeing the world for the first time. Even before Plan had been pulled into such unfamiliar territory, Mean had been drawn to him because of this… because of Plan’s unique view of the world, and his serious, methodical approach; his way of figuring out things purely by observing them, that had made him into the genius he was now.Walking around the city with Plan and Win had been fun, too, because of their unique personalities.Plan had often pointed out patterns or interesting details he had noticed on the way – while Win had been bouncing around like a little kid on a playground, balancing on the curb when there was no traffic, climbing onto benches… and for a moment Mean had even feared that he might fall into the lake when they had crossed the bridge, because he had been leaning so far over the railing to spot the swans in the water below.Now, Plan had picked out different types of bread and sweet pastries he wanted to test. Mean was watching him, utterly engrossed: before Plan took a bite, he always looked at it from all sides, sniffed at it, cut it in the middle to see what was inside – only then he tasted it.Mean found himself waiting for that moment, that first bite, to see what Plan’s verdict would be.He smiled absently, watching Plan… hoping that they would be together as boyfriends for a long time, so he could take trips to other places with Plan, and get to see them through his boyfriend’s eyes, too.“Mean? Mean?”He flinched, when he heard someone call his name. Looking up, he understood that it was Viola.“Oh… I’m sorry, I was distracted,” he said.“I could see that,” Viola answered darkly.Ah… shit. Did he just give himself away?He looked around paranoidly, but as far as he could tell, Laure was still mostly focussed on her phone and the sites she couldn’t reach.At least… he hoped.“I asked, if you have plans for today,” Viola said. “Rosie and I want to go to the Quartier des Bains and visit the art galleries and the Museum of Contemporary Arts. Do you want to tag along?”Hmm… he hadn’t really thought about that. All he knew was that Plan had a welcome dinner with the other invited speakers at his conference this evening, so Mean would want to be around and help him prepare in the afternoon – under the pretext that it was his duty as White Hand leader, if nothing else.He threw a questioning look at both Plan and Win.Plan looked undecided, whereas Win tried to communicate something to him silently, probably his plan for taking Laure off their backs, but Mean didn’t understand what he was trying to say.“Aww… can’t you take a simple decision on your own? Need to ask them for permission? What are they, your boyfriends?”Laure’s sarcastic voice cut like a knife, and that last comment sent chills down his spine.What… was she implying?Mean just… couldn’t… he knew they had plans about her, that they wanted to observe her… but he just…“What the hell is your problem with me? What did I ever do to you?”The entire room became quiet, only the melody of the Cathedral bells broke the silence.
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No, Mean, what are you doing?
Viola needed to control herself not to reach over the table and strangle her best friend. She had thought they had planned all of this, and they had decided that they would observe the Black Hand leader for a while, before confronting her.Why would he give up their advantage so easily?She could guess that he must have been spooked by her stab in the dark, calling Plan and Win his boyfriends – but… couldn’t Mean see that this had just been a wild guess? Like Laure had been doing all along?It was bad enough that Mean had been looking at Plan with heart-eyes for most of the meal.“Who says I have a problem with you?”Ah, Viola could punch that smug face.“Oh, please,” Mean answered, and Viola saw him dramatically roll his eyes. She doubted that she would be able to contain the damage, if Mean was in this type of mood. “As if we didn’t know you’ve been trying to undermine me for months.”The problem wasn’t that they didn’t have enough proof that Laure was the Black Hand leader, or that they were powerless against her.They weren’t.The problem was that they needed a compelling way to get her to talk and then shut up. It didn’t help if she just stayed smug like that.“Is that so?”Before Viola could say something, she caught Mean’s eyes, and noticed him slowly shaking his head at her.It… of course.He was the one being attacked, he was the leader, he had a right to… but… ah, she had agreed not to meddle in his things anymore. It was just hard… idly sitting by.“Did you really think you could come here with the five of us, and we wouldn’t figure out who you are?” Mean asked.The self-satisfied smirk on the girl’s face gave Viola chills.There was something… something they were all missing. It looked like Laure had anticipated that they would know about her being the Black Hand leader – and she looked so unaffected that it planted doubts even into Viola’s mind.“Oh, interesting,” Laure answered smugly. “Who am I?”What made Viola doubt even more, though, was how Mean seemed to completely miss the cues – and looked triumphant.Didn’t he see?No… no, he couldn’t!If she interfered now, she would only undermine Mean, and that wouldn’t help. It was like watching a train wreck happen right in front of your eyes.“You wrote these blog posts about us, you sent those idiots after us… you’re the Black Hand leader,” Mean said.Viola observed Laure’s reaction closely. There was a small twitch at the edge of her mouth.“If you think so?”“I don’t just think so,” Mean replied. “I know.”He pointed at the still unlocked phone Laure had carelessly put in front of her – and the failed connection to her blog that was still open.“You tried to log into your anonymous blog just now,” Mean said. “You should be more careful if you try to mess with an Engineering student.”Laure snorted.Viola grew more and more concerned about her indifferent attitude. Either, she had a poker face to rival her own, or Laure had an ace up her sleeve that they hadn’t found, yet.“You are hardly an Engineering student,” Laure sneered. “You’re just a pretty face living off of your family’s money. If the world was fair, people like you wouldn’t be allowed near a university like UdG.”To Viola’s dismay, this statement caused the usually level-headed Plan to jump up and absolutely glare at Laure.“Aren’t we all here because I’m holding a presentation at a Physics conference tomorrow?” his gaze grew icy. “The only person in this room who is even remotely capable of following my presentation is Mean. And yes, that’s including you. Don’t insult his intelligence.”This… was unexpected.Of course, Viola was well aware of Mean’s passion for tinkering, and she knew that he was taking a minor in Applied Physics at the Engineering department. But… even with all the rose-tinted glasses she imagined Plan to have for his boyfriend… she hadn’t expected such a strong statement from him.Did he actually mean that?Was Mean really knowledgeable enough to understand this level of physics?Or, well, enough to follow it... at least.“Oh, please,” Laure laughed. “Is that the price for all the money they have shoved up your arse? Is it worth it? I bet it must be worth it, flying First Class to the most expensive country in Europe, leeching off your rich leader here. And yet,” she snickered. “I could steal your limelight with a pathetic wannabe, couldn’t I?”Viola smiled to herself.Even with all the very deliberately placed needles, Laure had just admitted that she was indeed the Black Hand leader – and that she had sent that pathetic wannabe genius after Plan on purpose.What surprised her even more, though, was how deadly calm Plan remained, upon hearing all these carefully aimed insults.He usually had a penchant for avoiding confrontations – but it looked like something inside of him had snapped, and he was now fervently defending his boyfriend.“Did you, though?” Plan replied, imitating her snicker. “Why isn’t he here, then? The only limelight I care about are the people I will be meeting at the conference tomorrow, and I’ll let them be the judges of my capabilities. I should rather thank you for diverting public attention away from me. It was nice, being able to concentrate on my research without cameras everywhere.”This was why you should never underestimate a genius, Viola thought. Plan had developed a lot of self-confidence since their first meeting – and he had been quick to understand the current situation.“Aren’t you leeching off of White Hand, too, though?” he continued. “You could only come here, because Mean’s family agreed to pay my expenses, so UdG could spend it on you. And we were even nice enough to let you stay with us and let you save money. Aren’t you a bit hypocritical?”Laure only shrugged in response – but Viola could see that she was hit by Plan’s response. She had clearly not counted on him pulling any kind of weight in this discussion.“So, that’s your deal?” Mean asked, when it was clear that she would just ignore Plan’s comment. “You don’t like our wealth, and you try to take us down? How did that work out for you?”There was a dangerous gleam in Mean’s eyes, that Viola had rarely seen before.But there was something missing, didn’t they all notice it?That girl still looked too calm and unconcerned. Particularly considering that Mean was now holding his own phone up threateningly.“I’m really not the type to do that usually, but…” he shook his head. “Are you aware, Ms Robin Hood, that all I need to make your life at university a living nightmare is one phone call away – and no, nothing illegal, nothing fishy, just… remind some people to check on their investments.”Viola had to bite her lips, trying to remember all her tricks to keep a poker face… Meanie... what the hell was he doing?If Laure was half as clever as Viola thought she was, she had probably recorded this, and it might even be what she had tried to provoke Mean into saying all along. Particularly… considering the fact that the edges of her lips twitched once more.“Cute of you to think I care,” Laure said in a sickeningly sweet tone. “You can threaten me all you want. I have never planned on staying in Thailand, anyway. But I can and will make your life a living nightmare either way. You can count on that”Shit… this girl really was something.It made sense… she was a foreign transfer student, she had a European passport, she could just return here. But… Viola allowed herself to smirk just a little bit, too. Laure would be naïve to think that they couldn’t reach her in Europe, now that they knew who she was… particularly if she tried to continue attacking Mean.“Did I steal your candy, once? Did I ignore you at a fanmeeting?” Mean asked, clearly not hiding his exasperation anymore. “Can you at least tell me why you want to make my life a living nightmare specifically?”Laure chuckled triumphantly.“Please, look at you,” she said. “Strutting around, partying, spending your family’s money with both hands, left and right… oh, just taking your buddies on a week-long vacation to Switzerland in the middle of a semester, who cares? If White Hand wants to have fun, they’re gonna… People like you are a waste of space.”“Why do you care what I do with my family’s money?”Mean hit the table with his fist, making even Viola flinch away instinctively.Not Laure, though. Laure continued to chuckle.“You still have no idea who I am.”Mean took a deep breath, and looked at her with barely suppressed anger.“Tell me, then,” he said. “Who are you? Did someone tell you you’re my long-lost half-sister or something? Do you think you’re some kind of Disney princess?”Viola tried to put the pieces together, but it never really fit – Mr Attachitsataporn didn’t look like the type to cheat on his wife, but then, they never did… or was Laure some kind of clever scammer, after Mean’s family fortune?“Don’t they speak French in Belgium?” Plan asked into the silence. “Like… like here. This isn’t France, and they still speak French. Didn’t your father say…”That… of course…“Plan, you’re a genius!” Viola shouted – and she smiled when everyone’s attention was turning to her.She could see Laure’s expectant smirk, like she couldn’t wait for them to figure it out – and Plan’s slightly shocked realisation dawning on his face…The rest had no idea.“Your uncle Korn disappeared in France, didn’t he, Mean?” she asked, and saw Plan nod, indicating that this had been what he was getting at.“I… yeah…” Mean answered tentatively.“And your family never found him, right?”Mean nodded, and Viola could slap herself for not connecting these dots before. It had been right in front of them the whole time, it was so painstakingly obvious…But… Mean’s family history was just that, history. They didn’t talk about Mean’s missing uncle every day, or at all, really.No wonder Plan had been the one to see it first, Mean had no doubt told him about the tragic family history, and the reason why he couldn’t get involved with the family business.But it wasn’t so far-fetched for someone to leave the country they had last been seen in, if they wanted to disappear… and to try and stay somewhere nearby, where people were speaking a language they already knew.He had probably taken his wife’s name when they had got married… that would explain Laure’s Belgian surname. Somehow, Viola had stupidly assumed that because of her surname, Laure would have a Belgian father and a Thai mother – and none of Mean’s aunts was missing.*~*~*“Are you really Uncle Korn’s daughter?” Mean asked, hating how weak his voice suddenly sounded.It was… could it be true?It… Viola and Plan thought it made sense, and… on the surface…But…How could this nasty girl be his cousin?That… that didn’t count right now. He didn’t even care about her at all at the moment.He needed to call his father as soon as possible.Losing his brother had been Mean’s father’s biggest regret in life. He had invested so much time and resources over the years, trying to find and reunite with him. Could he really have just turned up right in front of their eyes like that… and would Mean of all people really be the one to find him?He, the youngest son, who was never meant to aspire to more than enjoying his life far away from any business aspirations and comfortably on his family’s paycheck?He didn’t even really wait for confirmation from… Laure.It had to be true.It had to be… he hated how tears were welling up in his eyes. This would be the best present he could ever make to his father, if it all panned out. It was just… unreal.“Is he still alive? Is he doing well? I… I have to tell Dad. He’s… this is… we didn’t even dare to hope… he wanted to reunite with his brother for so long.”He let his eyes wander over Laure’s face slowly, trying to find any resemblance, any clues that would tell him it was true. He didn’t care that her expression was still stern and defiant. As long as she eventually answered his question, there was a chance.“Why do you care?” she asked bitterly. “You never cared when we were expulsed from another apartment, when my dad lost another low-paid job… You don’t have the right to know how he’s doing.”This… what did she think happened?“What are you talking about?” Mean hated how emotional he was. This person had tried to sabotage him for months, and yet, she was the key to resolving a family mystery that had plagued them since before he was born.“My dad has tried to find him since grandpa died. There’s an entire part of the family fortune that is reserved for Uncle Korn, if he’s ever found. My dad says it’s the inheritance he should have received when grandpa died, and that it doesn’t belong to us. Do you think my dad wouldn’t have helped you, if he had known about it? You clearly know nothing about my family.”“Pah!”Laure glared at him so intensely that Mean doubled back, right into Plan’s arms. He didn’t even care that he was exposing his relationship to her right now, this was all…“I wonder what fairy-tale they have told you, but let me tell you, your precious dad is not the hero in this story,” she said. “He practically fought a war against my dad, he drove Uncle Max into a drug overdose, and took everything for himself. My dad was scared for his life when he got away. And now, you have the audacity to go around and spend all that money like it’s nothing, and you say you want to hear anything from us?”No… no!This wasn’t…“What fairy-tale has your dad told you?” Mean replied, disconcerted that his voice still sounded meek and that he was so close to tears. “Grandpa drove his sons to compete against each other. They had no choice but to fight. My dad just took it, because he was best placed to get grandpa to let off… but he had always planned to get his brothers back, once grandpa couldn’t interfere anymore. He had it all prepared, he wanted to tell your dad, but he disappeared when Uncle Max died, and everything fell apart. My dad has regretted this ever since.”He shook his head.If this wasn’t all so serious, he would laugh bitterly.“Do you know why it looks like I go around and spend all that money doing nothing important?”Mean didn’t even wait for her to answer that rhetorical question. He leaned back into Plan’s embrace, silently grateful for his presence, and closed his eyes.“My dad is scared that my siblings and I could be driven apart because of the company, like he and his brothers were. Even our aunts aren’t close to us anymore,” he said and opened his eyes again. “He chose a path for all of us at birth. I am not allowed to go anywhere near business management, or my dad will freak out, thinking I could develop ambitions and disturb the peace. They want me to be frivolous and spend their money.”“What a load of bullshit,” Laure spat. “Do you seriously think I’ll believe that?”Mean was getting desperate.Why couldn’t she…“It’s true,” Plan unexpectedly said behind him.As much as Mean doubted that his words would help, he was still glad that Plan was putting so much effort in trying to defend him.“I have been living with their family for weeks, and they told me that story, too,” he said. “Why would they tell me, if it wasn’t true? I have no stakes in that company, why would they talk about such a painful wound in their family history to an outsider like me, if it wasn’t deeply important to them? Mr Attachitsataporn really values his family, and he misses his brother. I know.”Something about Plan’s voice was different as he spoke. He sounded sad, as if, contrary to his words, it was something that touched him personally.Mean was glad at least that Viola wasn’t meddling with the discussion for once, though he could see that she wanted to – and hothead Win was thankfully quiet, too.“I’ve never had a family,” Plan said, the sadness now so sharp it hurt. “My grandparents raised me on the skin of their teeth. Do you have any idea how hard rice farming is? And they sent me away to attend school in the city all alone, even though they would have needed my support in the paddies instead. Every time they look at me, they don’t just see their grandson, they also see my unknown father in me, and the reason their daughter died. What would I give, to be able to speak to my mum just once and see my grandparents happy? Don’t… how can you throw away a family, when you have the chance to have one? How can you be so harsh, not to allow two brothers the chance to reconnect and get over the past? They won’t be able to, once they’re dead.”The deep breath that Plan took resonated through Mean’s entire body, they were so close now. Mean had tears streaming down his cheeks, now.He had known Plan’s story, of course, but he had never realised… that he might have wanted a family. He had always seemed happy about belonging to his grandparents’ village, being part of that community.“If my grandparents could get over their grief and work their tired old bones hard just to raise me… Can’t you at least give your family a chance to mend?”To Mean’s surprise, he could see Laure’s expression soften. He himself was moved to tears, of course, but Laure had been such an angry, cold-hearted bitch… it was unexpected, to see her get moved by Plan’s story at all.“I… I guess…” she said slowly. “It can’t hurt… letting them talk.”*~*~*It was way past lunchtime, when Mean could finally drop into the sofa in the living room, and relax for the first time since that conversation in the morning.Viola and Rose had left the apartment for the art museum, as soon as it had become clear that Laure would really help establish the contact between their fathers, and Win had retired to their room to play games on his phone and give them some privacy.Luckily, Plan had stayed with him, while he had called home – and afterwards, when they had established a video conference call between the two brothers and themselves.Contrary to the bitterness and anger that had driven Laure to go to Thailand, trying to take revenge on her father’s behalf on any target she could find, Uncle Korn had quickly been reduced to happy tears, upon hearing how sincerely his brother had missed him and how desperately he had been looking for him all these years.Over a long and emotional talk, they had managed to clear some of the most glaring misunderstandings – most importantly, that Mean’s father had never tried to find his brother in order to eliminate his competition, but that he was actually hoping to give him back the part of his inheritance that their father’s will had withheld from him.Mean’s father had already started making arrangements to fly out to Belgium later that night, and spend time with his brother and his family.Nobody had any illusions that it would be easy, sorting things out between them. The brothers’ lives had evolved on separate paths for more than thirty years, and even with everything that Mean’s father had done to prepare for the unlikely event that he would find his brother again, there was a lot to fix and sort out.At least, there was no doubt anymore, that Uncle Korn was back.And yet, it still felt surreal… that Laure was his cousin, that their entire family history would have to be rewritten after this.All his life, the story about how his dad had lost his brothers due to needless competition, had been at the core of their family values. What would happen now, that this story had a different ending?And, worst of all, that girl, who had suddenly become his cousin… was still here, sitting quietly in one of the armchairs next to him, unreadable and unremarkable as ever.She had no reason to attack him anymore, now, had she?She would fly back to Belgium at the end of Plan’s conference as planned, after completing the assignment she had talked the university PR team into giving to her. If they were lucky, she wouldn’t even return to Thailand for the next semester, and would only be back for two more months.The situation was weird, now… she wasn’t a friend, she wasn’t technically an enemy anymore, either… but she was still hanging around, making things uncomfortable.Even though they hadn’t said anything, Mean was pretty sure that by now she knew about Plan and him – not least because Plan had just come back from the kitchen with a mug of tea for him, and sat down on the sofa next to him like he belonged there.Mean didn’t have to like her… right? Just because she was his cousin now, he could still find her annoying, couldn’t he?“Look…”Mean lifted his head, surprised, when Laure suddenly spoke.“I’m sorry,” she said, only sounding marginally less cold than before.What for exactly?Attacking him? Getting caught?Mean raised his eyebrows.“Just take it, okay?” Laure said.He could feel Plan’s hand rub over his back encouragingly. Mean would probably feel less forgiving, if Plan’s words from this morning didn’t still ring through… how much he would give to have a family… how petty it would be, to give up on chances for reconciliation over past misunderstandings.Mean sighed.“What’s done is done,” he said, “can’t change that… you’ll stop your attacks, though, won’t you?”Laure rolled her eyes and nodded.“Obviously.”Maybe… being so curt and cold was just her personality?A half-smile formed on Mean’s lips.“Then… It’s okay, I suppose.”He wouldn’t just turn around and like her, but there was no point in cultivating more bad blood inside the family for petty reasons.The room fell back into the uncomfortable silence it had been in before. Even the tea Plan had made for him didn’t really make the awkwardness of the situation any more bearable, nor did it energise him.Mean wished Plan would cuddle against him, at least, not just discreetly rub his back. He wished they could throw out both Win and Laure for a few hours and finally have their room to themselves.“So…” Laure started again, after what felt like ages of awkward silence, “are you two…?”She pointed at him and then at Plan, and put her index fingers together suggestively.That girl had some nerve… after trying to get to him by exposing the sexual orientation of the people in White Hand, she now wanted to be trusted with this secret?Though… there was also no point in denying it. She already knew, and if they confirmed it, they wouldn’t need to be so damn careful anymore for the rest of their time in Geneva.“My parents know,” Mean said, making it clear that she wouldn’t be able to throw him under the bus inside the family at least. “If they had their way, we would be the faces of their next advertisement campaign and attract foreign pink money. But we don’t want it to be known, yet. We’re not ready to come out to the public. So… no more articles, got it?”Laure raised her hands, almost glaring at him.“Jeez,” she said, “I said I’m sorry. Just accept it. I was only curious, okay? I’m not a homophobe. You do you. Congratulations.”It didn’t sound like she was that happy for them – but for now, Mean would give her the benefit of the doubt… if only because he didn’t think she was stupid enough to sabotage their fathers’ reunion, not after she had seen her own father cry his eyes out upon hearing that his brother had been looking for him.Plan reacted quickly, though, Mean understood with glee.As soon as he had understood that this meant he didn’t have to keep up appearances, he moved in closer to Mean and snuggled himself cosily into his arm, and onto the sofa next to him.The relief on his face, the smile he now gave Mean, was enough to forget about the uncomfortable presence that was Laure. Maybe it was time to look for Win, and ask him if his plan for getting Laure off their backs still counted.
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The door had barely closed behind Win and Laure leaving the apartment. Both Mean and Plan jumped up from the couch immediately, as if they hadn’t been comfortable as they were before, cuddled up to each other.Plan gladly let himself get dragged to their room. His heart was beating unusually fast, when Mean pushed him against the closing door. Something at the back of his mind even noticed that Mean was turning the key, making sure that they couldn’t be interrupted by an unexpectedly returning Win.One interruption per day was more than enough.As Mean leaned down to kiss him hungrily, Plan was reminded of the strikingly similar position he had found himself in this morning, in the corner behind the ancient cannons outside, when it had seemed like there were no other people in the world but them… and Win.Now, finally, Win wasn’t here anymore.Ah, Plan had wanted to be alone and undisturbed with Mean practically since they had left the house in Bangkok… it felt like ages ago, even though he could still feel a remnant of soreness in his lower body.Plan relaxed, and let himself get pulled deeper into the kiss.The elevated heartbeat didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore.It was hot.
Finally.
He had been nervous and on edge all day, and probably all night even in his deep, dreamless sleep.Finally, there was an outlet.Without ever slowing down or breaking the kiss, he automatically started to fumble for the hems of Mean’s sweater, and pulled it over his head along with his undershirt, only breaking the kiss long enough to get it out of the way.He barely noticed that his own sweater had gone the same way as Mean’s moments later – he probably wouldn’t have noticed at all, if the cool air of the room wasn’t such a contrast to the heat of both of their bodies.“I missed this,” he said softly, when Mean had retreated just a little bit. “I missed you.”He had wanted this so much that he had even gotten carried away this morning; while Win was in the room.Reckless.Now, there was nothing at all holding them back anymore, and Plan determinedly pulled Mean into another passionate kiss.It took him a while of getting lost in the heat to realise that Mean was retreating, that he didn’t feel fully invested in the kiss anymore – but when Plan finally caught on, he leaned back against the door, slowly letting go of Mean’s lips.Mean immediately leaned in to hug him, so tightly that it felt more like being trapped against the door. Mean buried his head into the crook of Plan’s neck, but contrary to what Plan had hoped, he didn’t continue by kissing his neck.“Shh, Mean,” he said. “You’re suffocating me.”Thankfully, Mean moved back just enough to let Plan breathe, but something still felt off.Plan helplessly patted his back. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Mean wasn’t entirely himself. He had just found out that the annoying Black Hand leader that had chased them for the last few months, was actually his cousin… and everything else this discovery carried with it.“I’ve missed you, too,” Mean said, echoing Plan’s own words from before. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m happy you are here with me now.”Likewise, Plan thought, but didn’t say it.It was funny, Mean had accompanied him here specifically to support him during his first conference abroad, and suddenly… they really needed to support each other.Plan was pushing his nervousness about the upcoming welcome dinner as far away from his consciousness as possible. He didn’t want to think about that just yet.“It’s okay, it’s over,” Plan whispered soothingly. “You have played your part.”He could feel Mean’s shiver and his breath suddenly tickled Plan so close to his neck that it made him notice the heat in his entire body again.“It’s not that,” Mean said and slowly moved his head back enough to look at him.Plan didn’t need to ask the obvious question: if it wasn’t what he was thinking, then what was it about?He only looked Mean in the eyes, confused by the sudden insecurity he saw there.“I can’t stop thinking…” Mean began hesitantly. “About… Last time… after you begged… when I… you-”He turned his head to look away, and Plan followed the movement with his eyes… even more confused.When Mean’s entire bearing seemed to waver, Plan lifted his hand to his cheek, and nudged him to meet his gaze carefully.At first, Plan thought that he had messed up somehow, unknowingly, because Mean closed his eyes and breathed through deeply a few times. But then, he opened them again, looking much more determined.“I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” Mean confessed. “About… how much I wanted to be in your place. It… it was great… because I was imagining I was in your place instead. Mostly.”Plan smiled.This just confirmed his suspicion that, as amazing as it had felt to get taken by Mean that way, and as much as he wouldn’t mind a repeat performance… Mean liked it better the other way around. But for some reason, he was self-conscious about it.And Plan… he didn’t mind too much. He could see himself lean either way. So, as long as Mean would still take control sometimes, like he seemed to also enjoy doing, he would be perfectly happy. It didn’t mean Mean had to top for that, if he didn’t want to. The first time they had done it that way, Mean had simply pressed him into the bed and had lowered himself onto him.Overcome by a new determination, Plan pushed Mean away from himself just enough to switch their positions, and pin him against the door instead. Unlike their first times, Mean didn’t offer any resistance and he didn’t struggle.Plan almost regretted it. It had been fun, playing around like that.“What makes you think you can’t be in that place?” he asked.Hadn’t he already shown him that last time, in round two?Mean seemed unable to answer, he was only opening and closing his mouth silently like a fish… a cute and unimaginably handsome fish, granted. It was so adorable, that Plan didn’t wait for him to actually formulate a verbal answer, and decided to lean in and kiss him determinedly instead.Without breaking away, he fumbled with Mean’s belt and the button of his jeans, impatiently pulling Mean’s hands to his own trousers. They had waited long enough.It didn’t take them long to get naked and stumble to the bed after that. Mean crawled onto it, eagerly pulling a cushion under his hips to make himself more comfortable, and wiggled his butt invitingly.Plan laughed… and then gulped silently.He looked dangerously inviting like this.Did he know what he was doing to him?“I cleaned it all for you just before they left,” Mean said, smiling broadly.Wow, he really was eager.Plan had wondered where he had disappeared to earlier.But he had never… what if Win’s plan for luring Laure to an Ice Hockey game hadn’t worked? How had Win even found out that Laure was an avid fan of an obscure Swiss hockey club that just happened to play against the local Genevan team this afternoon?It could all have been for nothing.Plan shook his head to shake off that line of thought. There was something much more interesting right in front of him.Mean had evidently taken a risk, and who was he not to reward it?He knelt onto the bed behind Mean, taking the scene in in front of him.His thoughts couldn’t even go as far as asking himself where he had hidden the lube and condoms in his suitcase, before he saw Mean reaching into the crack between the bed and the wall, and pulling out strip of packages of both.“When did you put that there?”Mean smiled cheekily.“Last night.”That… either Mean was even hornier than Plan himself, or it was just the difference between someone accustomed to intercontinental travel, and someone who wasn’t. Plan wouldn’t have had the mental bandwidth to even remember he had these items in his suitcase last night, much less hide them behind the bed.“Always prepared, I see,” Plan chuckled.He really wanted to test it for himself, check if Mean had been as thorough as he had made it sound – and he grabbed his butt cheeks firmly to fully expose the pink rosette between them.He swallowed.Mean hadn’t exaggerated.It looked… as if this sight had been arranged specifically for him.He leaned down, and as he got closer, he noticed the faint smell of Mean’s favourite soap, still lingering on his skin. As he breathed it in, he was caught by the sudden urge to lick it, taste it… he had known that this was a thing people did, of course, but… he hadn’t thought he would be lured into doing it naturally.It just felt like the obvious thing to do.Not just did it feel good running his tongue over the crevices and wrinkles in the sensitive skin in front of him, he decided, after a first tentative lick – he was also rewarded by a shudder running through Mean’s entire body, culminating in a surprised moan.It encouraged him to pull the cheeks apart further and playfully lick over the rosette with more dedication. He even dared to poke inside with his tongue experimentally, surprised that it didn’t taste bad.Mean’s strong shiver in response made Plan exhale heavily. It must have given him an unexpected new stimulation– judging by his sudden gasped breaths.“Ah… P- Plan!” he shouted almost angrily. “What… are you… ah, damn… you… you… it.”Plan chuckled to himself, which, so close to such a sensitive area could only add to the stimulation. He could scold Mean again for cursing, but… ah, it felt too satisfying, hearing his boyfriend reduced to incoherently stammered curses from just a heated kiss in an unexpected spot.That’s what it felt like to him, anyway. Like a kiss, just… different.He only stopped, when he heard the notably more unrestrained panting in Mean’s breath. Along with the wanton tremors in his body, it felt like he might be getting closer to release than Plan wanted him to be right now.With a pang of regret, he looked up slowly, and admired Mean’s body heaving up and down visibly from his fast breath, while his head was buried in the mattress.“You look handsome like this,” Plan said.It was a sight to remember… if he ever had to endure another long stretch apart from Mean, he’d certainly come back to this in his dreams.Mean only sighed in response, and Plan couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of agreement, or frustration. Maybe both, the way he unsubtly pushed his butt back once more.“I wonder if you can come untouched,” Plan mused, absent-mindedly petting Mean’s butt cheeks as he considered it.It had been a random thought – but one that was quickly captivating all of his innate curiosity. He tore off one of the single-dose packages of lube and opened it carefully. He wouldn’t want to lose precious resources.“Do it,” Mean panted. “Try it!”Plan looked up and caught Mean’s gaze, turning his head just enough to see him. He was wonderfully worked up, pink-faced, and eager.“Look,” Mean insisted, lifting up one of his hands to draw Plan’s attention to their position. “I’ll keep my hands up here.”“Aww.” Plan smiled. “You’re so good for me today. I’ll make you feel good in return.”The advantage of having explored himself when he had prepared for bottoming, and of having experienced Mean fucking him, was that Plan now knew exactly what he was looking for; not just theoretically… he also knew how it felt, and what signs he needed to look out for.He pushed a lubed-up finger into Mean’s already slightly wet hole, curtesy of Plan’s own explorations with his tongue, and carefully listened to his breath as he moved it deeper inside. He monitored the expressions on his face, and even let his other hand wander onto his stomach to get a better feel of his involuntary bodily reactions.It didn’t take long this way, to find not just the spot that gave Mean the most stimulation, but also to determine the exact amount of pressure, flection, and the rhythm he needed to use, to make Mean wring under his touch.When he was satisfied with his setup, he added two more fingers, to such a guttural moan from Mean that he once more suspected that he might have pushed him over the edge prematurely.Luckily, he just continued to gasp his name – “Plan, Plaaan, Plaaan.”The word sounded like music in his ears, and Plan was very acutely reminded of his own arousal, his own desperate wants. He needed…Without removing his hand, though deliberately slowing down the pace and giving Mean a bit of reprieve, he fumbled for the strip of condoms and a new package of lube, and tore them open with his teeth. Along the way, he also took off his glasses and carelessly threw them onto the carpet next to the bed.Even though Mean was pressing his face into the mattress once more, he seemed to be aware of what Plan was doing. Before he could finish rolling on the condom and actually go for it, Mean already screamed: “Yes!”Plan chuckled.“So eager.”As much as he meant Mean… he could just as well have called out himself. He needed these warm, tight walls wrapped around his cock again, urgently. It felt good, feeling Mean clench around his fingers – but it would feel even better on his cock. And… he wanted to hear Mean’s uninhibited moans and angry gasps not just because he was massaging him with his fingers, but because he was pounding him into the mattress like Mean had wanted him to.He found himself exhaling heavily, as soon as he had started to enter the already familiar tightness, and he steadied himself to accommodate the wave of sensations it sent up his spine.He was greeted by Mean pushing back against him almost as fast as he himself was moving in.He had missed this.As he pushed inside deeper, he also leaned forward, until he needed to pin Mean’s hand into the mattress next to his head for stability – and to hold him in place, completely underneath him, like he had promised.Surprisingly, Mean exhaled heavily in return, when he had finally bottomed out and their heads were so close together once more, that they could look at each other. Mean’s eyes were watery, but he didn’t look in pain as much as relieved.“Fin- finally,” Mean panted out. “I could… I missed… I feel… you’re here.”The words made Plan feel abundantly warm and fuzzy inside. He too, he had missed him… it felt right, like this.He was somewhat caught in his very deep need to move, find friction and release, and staying still for a bit longer and enjoying the deep connection he suddenly experienced between them.“I know…” he replied, smiling. “I know.”Then, the moment of indecision was over, and his longing for more friction, more stimulation won. His movements became frantic, now. The considerate attention he had paid to Mean before was almost entirely eclipsed by his own desperate desire. He had never let himself go so entirely, not while he was the one in control of the pace, but he was still present enough to perceive Mean’s uninhibited moans – and how they both seemed to sync up to each other naturally once more, like they always did.*~*~*“Did… did it work?”Plan lay cuddled into Mean’s arms, and tried to piece together what had happened not too long ago. He was so tired and content that his brain refused to form properly coherent thoughts. He’d much rather fall asleep… now that the itch was finally gone.“Mhm.”He lazily lifted his head up to look at Mean – and was surprised to find that there were silent tears running down his cheeks.What… happened?Just a little while ago, Mean had looked blissfully happy and relaxed… it… didn’t make sense.Plan turned around, and carefully ran his fingers over Mean’s cheeks to wipe away the tears.“It isn’t…” Mean started, and chocked.This was really unexpected.“I’m not sad,” Mean said quietly. “I don’t know… why…”He sniffed, and Plan cautiously caught the new tears and dried them, too.Maybe it was the hormones? Couldn’t this happen sometimes?Plan was suddenly pulled into a bear hug.“Mean!” he shouted and slapped his upper arm lightly, to get him to loosen up. “You’re crushing me.”“I’m sorry.”Plan breathed through deeply, as soon as Mean relaxed his arms enough to accommodate him.“It’s okay,” Plan said tenderly. “You don’t have to explain.”He somewhat regretted saying that, when Mean squeezed him again heartily in response – but at least he loosened his grip unprompted afterwards.For a while, neither of them said anything more, and Plan adjusted his position to make himself comfortable in Mean’s arms again. As much as his curiosity wanted to know about Mean’s tears – being so close to each other felt so nice, that he couldn’t find it in himself to fret, for once.“I love you, Plan.”The words made him look up and directly at Mean again.That… yes… he did, too.But… what… why?“I- I just…” Mean sniffed away new silent tears. “I just wanted you to know.”Plan smiled, and wiped the tears like before.For all his serene exterior, inside of him, Plan felt like he could explode with happiness.“I don’t know where I would be now, if I hadn’t met you,” Mean continued, now sounding peaceful and calm, as if a huge weight had been lifted off of him. “I’d probably still be trapped… pretending I was better off… not gay, not dating.”It was weird. Plan had not seen it from this perspective. If anything, he thought he should be the one grateful to Mean. Without him, he would have continued to lock everyone out, and he would probably have found an irrational reason to convince himself that he needed to go back to the village and give up on his dream of studying physics.A dream that had looked so unreachable and daunting from where he had stood at the start, that he hadn’t even dared to allow himself to have it.Now he was here, in a foreign city, on a different continent, just a couple of hours away from meeting some of his biggest role models.At first, he had been sceptical about the intentions of Mean’s family towards him, and he had always waited for the catch, the price he would need to pay for them to accept him – but now, in light of all the events this morning… Plan realised how touched he actually was, that they had been willing to take him in and support him… like his own grandparents, despite their best efforts, never could.As if he was their son, too.He closed his eyes and buried his face in Mean’s chest – suppressing his own tears at the weight of this realisation.Why was he getting emotional? Could he blame Mean?“Me, too,” he said, almost tonelessly. “I love you, too.”Mean’s hand, softly petting his head, did much to comfort him, and let this unexpected surge of emotions slowly ebb away.Plan was torn out of his quiet contemplation, happily lying in Mean’s arms, when the bells in the clock tower outside started to play their melody again, and he counted four chimes… four o’clock. Still two hours, before he needed to leave for dinner.The reminder of the time and the outside world successfully pulled him out of his inertia, though, and he shifted his position, so he could look Mean in the eye properly.They both smiled at each other, and Plan’s turned cheeky.“Did it really work?” he asked.Mean chuckled.“I can’t believe it, were you so out of it that you didn’t even notice how hard I came?”Did he?Plan felt his cheeks heat up and he frowned self-consciously.Could he blame the jetlag, or something? He really hadn’t noticed… it was a bit embarrassing; he had never been carried away by his own pleasure so thoroughly that he had completely lost track of Mean.It shouldn’t happen again. He didn’t like that.Meanwhile, Mean nodded in the direction of the cushion that still lay in the middle of the bed, and the distinctly wet, suspiciously white-ish spot there.“I’m sorry… I should have paid attention,” Plan said meekly.Mean started to laugh so hard there were new tears in his eyes, tears of laughter – it was so contagious that Plan was soon caught in it, too.“Sorry…” Mean gasped. “Sorry, he says.”Plan watched him make an effort to collect himself, and look back at him with a halfway straight face.“I can’t believe it,” Mean added. “Here you are… with these magical fingers of yours… nearly making me lose it just on your touch alone… if this is something you feel the need to apologise for, I want to know how it is when you don’t.”Plan smiled.“Maybe you’ll find out… one day.”He lifted up his hand and studied his fingers as he wriggled them experimentally.“Nothing magical about it, though, just physics… and biology.”New lust flashed up in Mean’s eyes, before he went back to his usual smile.If he kept that up, it would go right to Plan’s groin and he’d get foolish. They didn’t have time to go at it again, not if he wanted to be fit and on time for the dinner later.“Are you sure… you’re okay with… this?” Mean suddenly asked, in a strange echo of his anxious thoughts from before.Why wouldn’t he be? Hadn’t he had so much fun himself, that he had lost track of Mean?“Of course I am,” he answered and with a sneaky smile, he added: “next time, I want to sit back and let you fuck yourself on me again, though. I liked that, when you did that, after you rescued me from the sponsors.”The way Mean smirked in return told Plan everything he needed to know.Almost everything.“Why are you so concerned about this, though?” he asked. “Why are you scared I won’t let you have what you enjoy the most?”Plan was confused to see Mean blush and slightly avert his gaze.“I don’t know,” he answered. “I- I guess… before our camping trip… I didn’t expect to like it so much. I mean… before… I just thought that I didn’t want… that whoever needed to give in and offer his butt was getting the short end of the stick. But now, it’s just the opposite… it feels shallow and empty if I don’t feel you inside… but I mean… I don’t want you to miss out, either.”Plan shook his head and chuckled.“Mean, look at me.” He lifted his hand to gently direct his gaze back to him. “I’m not missing out. It was great, I wouldn’t mind doing it again, sometime, maybe… but I like how tight you feel around me, you made me lose myself today, you’re so tight, and I love seeing you enjoy yourself so much with me. Just believe me: I’m not missing out.”He waited for Mean to relax and finally smile, before he lay back into the embrace and allowed himself to just enjoy the moment for once.The bells on the clock tower announced that another quarter of an hour had passed, when Plan stirred out of his blissful snooze.“If the conference goes well…” he said slowly. “Do you think we can talk to your PR people… and stop hiding?”He could feel Mean inhale deeply, more than he heard it.“You’re really tired of hiding, aren’t you?”Plan nodded silently.It wasn’t just that he hated that he couldn’t rely on his boyfriend for support when they were outside – he wasn’t keen on the possible backlash they could face… but the fact that he could barely hug him or share any kind of closeness with him until Laure had finally been exposed… it had worn him out.Plus…“I hate that most people think I’m still dating Win.”He could feel Mean’s hand on his cheek, and turned his head to look at him under his soft insistence.“It won’t be all rainbows and unicorns,” Mean said. “We have my parents’ support, and I guess if the conference goes well, we can pacify the sponsors and make sure they don’t think I’m just dating you for PR. But…”He sighed.Plan echoed it in his head.Yes… he was aware. But hiding wasn’t rainbows and unicorns, either.“As long as I’m in the spotlight, you’ll draw attention… from fans, and supporters, hopefully, but also haters, homophobes, business rivals of my family… even if I gave up my entertainment career, the spotlight would be on us, just for being the youngest Attachitsataporn.”Plan nodded.He had been scared of that, when he had talked to Mean’s mum. He had never wanted to be in the limelight, and he still hated the idea of being a PR tool for Mean’s family business, to attract foreign customers.But… they loved each other, they had just said so – and since Plan had decided that he would stop running away from things that scared him, he knew that he wanted to be with Mean for as long as they were happy.Hopefully a long time.Sooner or later, they would inevitably have to deal with the reality of the fans and the haters and the family expectations.Right now, he preferred sooner, rather than later.“I know,” he said, and after thinking it through a little more thoroughly, he added: “even if your cousin really stops with her attacks against you, the rumours are still out there. I don’t think we can count on the campus forgetting about the secret gays in White Hand.”He took a deep breath and sighed.“If the two of us don’t own up and make the rumours about us, it might threaten the others… and as far as I understood, the girls would be in real trouble if their cover was blown.”In respect of Win’s privacy, he didn’t tell Mean that outing Win could easily endanger Viola’s ruse, too. As much as Win had waved it off as just a casual fling, Plan had never seen him so invested in a relationship, not even their own… he wouldn’t be surprised if Win and Vic got serious eventually.Mean laughed.“I didn’t know you were this altruistic.”Plan shook his head.“I’m not. I’m selfish. I told you before: I want it all now.”
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“It was so fast. Most of the time I only cheered when the people around me did, because they had to have a reason, right?” Win said dramatically. “Ah, but it was freezing in the arena, even with all the cheering.”Mean was sitting on the bench in the kitchen again, eating the Thai take-out Viola and Rose had brought back from their trip to the art district, only half-heartedly listening to Win’s story. Plan hadn’t returned from his welcome dinner with the conference organisers, yet, and Mean couldn’t help being worried about him.He hoped everything would go well in the end. Plan had been trembling by the time he needed to leave for dinner, despite all the distraction they had had beforehand. It had to be unsettling, attending a dinner in a foreign place for the first time, meeting bigshots in your own field… only a few months after starting university.It had the capacity to unnerve anyone.Though… Mean shouldn’t forget that Plan had managed to charm the sponsors unprepared, and all on his own, back at the Chamber of Commerce dinner.He’d be fine today, too.No, really, he’d be fine.“What did you expect from a sport called Ice Hockey?” Laure asked, rolling her eyes.Could Mean still just hate his cousin? She was such a party pooper.“I can still tell them, even if I expected it,” Win answered, clearly not hiding his annoyance. “You should be grateful that I took you with me.”Win could also mention that Mean had generously offered to pay for their tickets – somehow, his dear cousin wasn’t sneering at him for spending money left and right anymore. Curiously. Laure had shown a rare glimpse of genuine enthusiasm, before they had left Mean and Plan alone in the apartment.Mean smiled to himself when he thought back to it.These tickets had been one of the best investments he had ever made. Not only had he been dying to be alone with Plan in general… they had managed to clear up the misunderstanding that had bothered Mean somewhat in the depths of his guts since before they had left Bangkok.He felt much calmer, now.He was relieved that he could get it all off his chest, and that Plan had been not just understanding, but very enthusiastic… very enthusiastic indeed.It didn’t hurt – well, not in the bad sense, anyway, he was rather sore – that Plan had managed to get him to come untouched… ah, it had been intense. He needed to be mindful not to think back too vividly right now, or he might get himself in a predicament.He still couldn’t believe that something could feel so amazing.He was sure that it wasn’t just the physical experience itself, which was incredible enough, but because of who he had been with.Sometimes, he wondered what he did to deserve to be so lucky, that the first person who had fallen in love with was someone as special as Plan. He must have saved someone’s life in his previous life.His thoughts were still somewhat hanging onto this tingly happiness he felt, when the door of the apartment was unlocked, and Plan’s shouted “I’m back!” reached them.Mean had to hold himself back from running out to greet him – he didn’t want to shoo Win off the bench, and it felt like overdoing it.A few moments later, Plan came into the kitchen and shouted:“Oh, thank heavens, you have rice!”He didn’t even wait for Win to let him sit next to Mean again – he just pushed onto the bench and grabbed one of the rice boxes and started eating without another comment. Mean wasn’t the only one who was mesmerised, watching him shovel the rice into his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten for weeks.After Plan had finished half the container, he pushed it back onto the table, and looked around visibly confused.“How can they make a meal without any rice?” he said, shaking his head.Maybe… Mean should have warned him about European cuisine. They had Thai chefs at home, and Plan probably didn’t have much exposure to European cooking techniques at all so far. He could only imagine what a shock it must have been for him, not to get rice even as an option, when this had been his main source of food for most of his life.“So… I guess you didn’t like the dinner they served?” Win asked.Plan sighed.Mean shot an annoyed look at Laure when she chuckled. Maybe it was funny to her, but Plan was clearly shaken… at least a little bit.“This was the weirdest meal I ever had,” he said. “Like… they served raw meat… like completely uncooked beef, with basically no seasoning and just… bread? How weird is that?”“Ah, Steak Tartar,” Viola said and nodded. “That’s an acquired taste for sure.”The look on Plan’s face told Mean that it was a taste Plan didn’t plan on ever acquiring. He couldn’t blame him. It was a bold choice from the organisers, to serve something like this at a meal for international guests.Plan then went on to describe the rest of the meal, which sounded like pretty standard food from the region to those who knew it – but in Plan’s rather dramatic words, it was all exceptionally bland… and odd. There was fish from Lake Geneva topped with a white sauce, that according to Plan, didn’t taste like much at all. Followed by salad, and a creamy mushroom soup Plan didn’t have much to say about.Then there was thinly cut roast pork as the main course. In his own words, Plan described how it didn’t taste like anything other than meat, until they had brought a brown sauce to redeem it. It sounded like the sauce was the only part of the main course Plan found acceptable. The boiled potatoes and lightly seasoned steamed vegetables that had gone along with the meat certainly didn’t save it.Mean felt sorry for Plan – the food must have truly shocked him, if he didn’t even mention the conversation and the people he had met.Plan visibly wasn’t used to getting served so much wine, too. As was to be expected, they had served white wine first, then red for the main course. Mean wondered how Plan had managed to stay this sober throughout, if he didn’t eat much, and drink more than he was used to.“There was an entire course of just… cheese with bread… and crackers?”The expression on Plan’s face was hilarious when he said that, even Mean had to concede that to his snickering cousin; didn’t mean Laure was right to laugh. Mean was sure there were local dishes from Plan’s village that she had never tasted and would find weird.Still, Plan looked like a walking question mark, and it was… funny.A little bit.“That’s a French tradition,” Viola explained. Mean was grateful to her that contrary to his cousin, she had enough empathy to understand that Plan needed reassurance right now, not sneers. “Was it good cheese, at least?”Plan nodded, and Mean relaxed.It would have been difficult to sustain themselves on Swiss cuisine for the rest of the week, if he didn’t appreciate cheese at all. There would be enough alternatives to choose from, of course, but the Thai food around here wasn’t anything to write home about.“I didn’t know there were so many types of cheese,” Plan added. “It was exciting, trying them all, they all tasted really different.”They all decided that they would do a series of tests of cheeses and chocolate, and other snacks in the comfort of Viola’s family’s chalet.But Mean wondered if Plan had appreciated the different tastes of the cheese also merely because the rest of the meal seemed so uninteresting to him.“Dessert looked outlandish, too.” Plan said and shrugged. “It looked like a chocolate muffin or something, but it was liquid and uncooked inside. What is it with uncooked food here? Tasted heavenly, though, they don’t lie when they say their chocolate is good.”Mean made a mental note to buy chocolate for Plan, and give it to him as a surprise later, when they were back in Bangkok. It wasn’t surprising that he liked it.Finally, Plan seemed to have exhausted the topic of food, and the kitchen fell silent for a while.“Did you enjoy talking to the other researchers, at least?” Mean asked, hoping it would be the case.He was relieved, when he saw Plan’s entire face brighten up immediately.“Oh, it was very inspiring! They are all so nice… and I already have a ton of new ideas I want to discuss with Prof. Marsden.”While Plan got carried away elaborating the most promising ideas he had, Mean noticed that everyone else’s expressions became blank as he talked. A warm feeling started to develop in his stomach and slowly rose into his proudly puffed-up chest. Plan hadn’t been lying to Laure this morning, when he had said that he was the only other person in this room who would be able to follow Plan’s research.It was challenging, even for him, but he had enough basics to get the gist of it, at least.The more he listened to Plan talking about the implications of the most recent data collected in the collision experiments at CERN, and their plans for the future – particularly the projects for the next generation of colliders – the more Mean regretted that he couldn’t go there and see it for himself.That was, until Plan suddenly smiled at him and said:“Oh, I almost forgot! I told them that my… partner takes classes in applied physics, and that you’ve travelled here with me. They say that because I’m a VIP guest, you’re welcome to join me tomorrow at the conference… or only for the guided tour in the afternoon, if you don’t want to get bored with theoretical physics talk.”Mean’s jaw dropped.He… really?He didn’t know what to say. He would be thrilled to go there with Plan. It had never really been an option, because they had to pretend to just be friends in front of Laure… and well, his parents were probably too busy with the entire family situation to notice that his interest in engineering was more than just a bit of tinkering.But… even more… Plan had told them… about… him?He had really meant it this afternoon… about not hiding anymore.“Don’t worry,” Plan said cheerfully. Mean briefly wondered what he shouldn’t worry about, but something about it must have shown on his face. “CERN as an institution is much more interesting for applied physicists than theoreticians like me, anyway. It’s just the conference that’s different. I’m sure you’ll feel right at home there.”Maybe the wine was talking, after all. Mean had rarely experienced Plan so animated and chatty. He usually stopped talking about physics quickly, when he realised that nobody else understood him.But today, he visibly didn’t care.“Oh, and Prof. Foster brought his husband, too, so you wouldn’t be alone. He’s a physics engineer at… ah, I forgot the company, a big international one in California… I can introduce you, I’m sure you’ll get along just fine. He was very interested to hear more about the electro engine you built for Vi’s motorbike.”Mean listened up automatically, when Plan just carelessly mentioned that he had already met a fellow gay researcher. Maybe this had been the reason why Plan had felt comfortable calling him his partner.Nobody said anything after Plan had stopped talking, and Mean looked around the table, unsure what to say. This was a conversation he would much rather have with Plan alone – but he also didn’t really want to draw attention to it even more, by stating it outright.Sure, Laure might not want to expose him anymore, but it was still not…“You know what?” Viola said, and stretched her arms lazily. “It was a long day for all of us. Why don’t we end this little party here?”Mean exchanged a grateful look with her. He should have known that he could trust her to read the situation.For a moment, it looked like Laure wanted to resist that suggestion – but when the rest of them all got up, she had no choice but to go to her room, too, or remain in the kitchen on her own.When they were finally in bed again – Mean had changed the sheets after Plan had left – Mean contently snuggled up against Plan’s back. Only now the exhaustion from this long and eventful day finally started to catch up to them.Thankfully, they had all been quiet and very efficient in their preparations for bed, and Win had disappeared under his blanket even before Plan had returned from the bathroom. Not without warning Mean not to try any funny business again, though, like they had done in the morning.Mean was sure there was no real danger for that – it was enough that Win had made fun of them with too many double-entendres during their walk in the morning. He wasn’t keen on hearing more. And thanks to their time alone in the afternoon, the edge had been taken off for both of them.Not that Mean wouldn’t have liked to… if they were alone… but he would just have to wait until they got to Viola’s family’s chalet. They would have a room of their own there.The absolute darkness of the room around him, combined with the quietness of the city outside, made it feel strange, lying in bed with Plan again – as if they had fallen into some type of black hole, out of the reality they knew.Mean was used to jetlag and intercontinental travel, but this was the first time he was sharing such an experience with his boyfriend, and it felt different, having him here.Everything felt different with Plan.“I’m sorry,” Plan said in an almost toneless whisper.“What for?”“I didn’t mean to out us, without talking to you first,” he said. “With Prof. Foster around, it felt natural to bring you up. He was constantly talking about his husband… and it just… kind of happened. He was so proud of his husband’s work… I wanted to brag, too.”Instead of answering, Mean just tightened his hug around Plan’s waist.“It’s okay,” he said, careful not to raise his voice and alert Win again. “I don’t think it will reach Thailand. And if it does… we’ll take it.”Thank heavens they had unmasked Laure today. He still couldn’t fully believe that this had happened... all of it. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, what Plan had done, trying out this whole not hiding thing in a relatively safe setting like a conference on another continent, far away from Thailand.“You wanted to brag about me?” he then asked, trying not to sound too excited.He couldn’t resist. The mere idea that Plan appreciated his skills so much that he wanted to gush about him in front of his peers… made him fall in love even more, if that was possible.“Why not?” Plan asked back. “You’re a talented musician and engineer, and you’re also the most handsome guy I’ve ever met. Prof. Foster’s husband only has engineering going for him.”“Flatterer.”Mean smiled to himself. Sometimes, it felt like nobody saw him for who he was, or at least aspired to be, quite like Plan did. Other people either saw a spoiled rich kid, like Laure had, or a brainless pretty face, who shouldn’t be taken seriously.He placed his head on Plan’s shoulder and pressed his chest fully against his back.“Thank you,” he said softly against his ear. “I never thought I’d get a chance to visit CERN.”“You should also talk to Prof. Foster’s husband.”Even though they were both tired, and the darkness around them helped with making him sleepy, Mean was happy that they could talk for a bit, close like this, before drifting off.“Why?”Plan softly pushed him back just a little, and Mean thought he had probably turned his head towards him.“Well, for one thing… because I think you’ll like having another engineer to talk to, without having to mask your skills,” Plan said, still making sure not to raise his voice too much. “And… also… you know, about… relationships. I have never met… I mean… they’ve been together for more than twenty years. It’s nice, to know that people like us exist out there, and they are happy.”“Did you think we’d be unhappy?”So far, Plan had always seemed so confident in his sexuality, as if he wasn’t worried about that part of himself at all.“No.” He could feel Plan shake his head. “But… so many people think… if there are no children, and you can’t get married legally… relationships like ours won’t last, anyway. I didn’t really believe it, but… I mean… before we met, I thought I should just take whatever I can get, and not get too attached, because I would have to go back to my village eventually, and stay there for my grandparents. Maybe I still believed what these people say, underneath it all.”While Mean still tried to process all of this, Plan added soothingly:“We don’t have to know this right now. We’re happy as it is… aren’t we?”Mean nodded, pointless as it was in the dark – but he was sure Plan would feel it.“I still think it’s nice to meet people like us, who have been happy for a long time,” Plan insisted, his voice trailing off tiredly.That… was true.As he slowly drifted into sleep, Mean allowed himself to dream of the future, for the first time without the limits his family and he himself had imposed on it.
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With a shiver, Win pulled the zipper on his coat all the way up.For the second time since they had gotten here, Win found himself banished from the apartment, to give one of the other couples a bit of privacy.He pulled off his right glove to check the time on his phone: 2PM.Plan had probably already finished his presentation. It had probably gone really well. Both Mean and Plan had been ecstatic yesterday, after they had networked and socialised with so many big shots in the field of physics.Luckily, today, Laure was there, too, she had to report for the university website. And the girls were… busy.Still no message.Win took a deep breath and enjoyed how the cold air stung in his chest.He could pretend he had taken out his phone to check the time, because he was thinking of Plan’s presentation.But that was only half true.Until yesterday in the late afternoon Swiss time, he had exchanged messages with Vic constantly. It had been the only thing that had kept him sane, or so it felt like, amidst all the craziness that had happened since they had gotten here.It had felt good, to have someone to vent to, about the Black Hand leader turning out to be Mean’s cousin, about the sickeningly sweet romance between the happy couples around him… and about having to share his room with two seriously horny guys, one of which was his ex.Before he had hooked up with Vic, Win would not have expected that hearing and seeing Plan and Mean make out with each other in front of him wouldn’t affect him at all.Sure, he was over Plan. Had been the moment Win had realised he would be competing with Mean. He just wouldn’t have wanted to go up against the White Hand leader, and now, he knew that they worked better as friends, anyway.But without Vic, hearing what Mean had that he couldn’t have, would probably still have hurt.Plus, Vic had responded to his messages exactly the way he had hoped – with barely concealed innuendo and a lot of juicy hints about what he would let Win do to him once they were reunited.Win smiled at the memory of their past hookups alone.He sat down on a bench on the old rampart, and looked over the smoking chimneys of the city below, under the grey, fog-covered sky. Even the lights of the Christmas market didn’t really shine in the middle of an average Tuesday afternoon. Not like yesterday evening, when they had all gone out to drink mulled wine with some of Plan’s and Mean’s new physicist friends, and the little market had felt like a mirage out of a Christmas fairy tale.Win wanted to put away his phone and stop waiting for a message that didn’t come, but he couldn’t.Instead, he unlocked it and started to scroll through their last conversation.There should be a hint, something telling him why Vic had suddenly gone into complete radio silence. If it wasn’t so expensive, Win would have caved in long ago, and tried to call, just to get clarity.“What am I doing?” he murmured angrily to himself, and shoved the phone back into his pocket.The Christmas lights really didn’t shine right now.It wasn’t like he had any claim on Vic.They had made it clear from the onset that this was just a casual thing. Win had been okay with that; more than okay, he had suggested it. After he had understood just how asymmetric his feelings for Plan had been, Win had had no plans for a serious relationship anytime soon, but a lot of appetite for adventure.And adventure he had found.Another smile.He shook his head at the memory and felt the warmth rise inside his chest.Even if this meant what he thought it meant, and Vic had moved on to someone else in his absence, Win wouldn’t regret going after him and earn another abrupt ending to a fairy tale beginning.The last few months had been the most exciting time Win had ever had in his life.First, getting accepted into the Sports department at UdG, working towards joining the Olympic Badminton team… joining White Hand.Unprecedented opportunities within his grasp.But more importantly, meeting Vic.At first, Win had only been impressed by his unapologetic attitude towards his sexuality, despite the danger it might potentially put both him and Viola in if he got exposed. His confidence, bordering on arrogance, had challenged Win to step up and match it, show him what he’d got himself.Flirting with Plan had felt like constantly walking on eggshells in comparison. Plan was easily spooked, and Win had been scared of losing him long before it had suddenly happened. Plan had always been ready to run, Win was all too aware of that in hindsight.How refreshing it was, then, to pursue a guy no holds barred? Someone who could not only keep up, but had actually given him a run for his money.Everything about their fling had felt like a whirlwind of unrestrained desires.Vic had helped him push his start-up pitch from a clumsy amateur project to a serious contender for venture capital. He had taught Win more about business than any of the seminars and classes he had attended so far.He had supported Win during his training matches for the upcoming qualifier tournaments.His kisses were fire.And… Plan had been right, when they had talked about these things: Win shouldn’t have been embarrassed to talk to Vic about sex frankly, and mention his insecurities confidently.Far from being put off by Win’s virginity confession, Vic had answered all his questions, and had put his vast experience to good use.Even better, Vic had had no objection letting him be on top on their first time. He maintained that he had no clear preference, anyway.Ah, Win’s smile broadened as he thought back to it.He was spoiled now.Even if Vic had moved on already, Win couldn’t imagine ever getting enough of the incredible rush, the high he felt from holding down a powerful and manly guy like Vic, or bending him over his desk roughly, and fucking him without restraint; someone like Vic, who could take what Win had in him, and enjoyed every second of it. Someone like Vic, who spoke to his competitive nature, and let him be feral and unhinged if he wanted to, and strangely emotional, too.Win could only blame Vic that he now had a clear type of people he was attracted to: people who were strong and robust, people who challenged him, yet ultimately didn’t try to subdue him. People who let him have his way with them and loved it.He whistled.Yeah, that was definitely his thing now.In a way, Plan had fit that pattern, too. He looked more delicate and reserved, maybe, but there was defiant strength behind these intelligent eyes, a quiet kind of resilience that couldn’t be touched or broken. He was someone who could survive a storm, and Win was drawn to that.Still… Mean was a better fit for him.Win held no grudges over this. He enjoyed seeing Plan finally tab into his insane potential and bloom.Soon, Win himself would bloom, too.He could feel it: his spring was coming. His golden years.Ah, he sighed.He could only hope that Vic would be willing to continue mentoring him, even though he had already moved on.Why did this feel so desolate?Win shivered.The cold here really was no joke.This was different than the romance he had had with Plan. There were never supposed to be any deep feelings… why was he clinging to his phone now, as if checking it every five minutes would make Vic write again?He needed to do something instead. There was no point sitting alone out here in the cold, moping about something he couldn’t change right now. There were other hot guys and girls out there, who would surely also love to take what Win had to offer.Determined, he stood up and looked around.His gaze fell on a group of older men, standing around a big chess board painted onto the concrete, and by the looks of it, they were just in the process of arranging the gigantic plastic chess pieces for another round.Intrigued, and with nothing else to do, Win approached them.He leaned against the solid rampart wall, adjusted his beanie, and observed them. They looked like a band of misfits, now that he was close enough to actually see them. Two were so old that Win was sure they were pensioners. One looked not much older than Win himself, probably a university student from somewhere overseas. His worn-out coat had made him look a lot older from afar.This young one shouted something in Win’s direction that he at first didn’t understand – probably in French. Then, he switched to broken, heavily-accented English:“You play?” he asked.Win didn’t hesitate. His chess knowledge was a little rusty, but he had learned how to play from his grandpa, and he had been decent enough when he was younger.He nodded.The young chess player flashed a smile and motioned him over.“You… study here?” he asked, while he was ushering Win to meet the two others.“No, no,” Win said, waving his hands defensively. “Just visit.”“Ah, tourist!” the other shouted happily. “Where from?”“Thailand.”Win put his hands together to a polite Thai greeting and bowed.“Win is my name.”The other three talked rapidly among themselves in what Win could only assume was French, then, the youngest player turned to him again and imitated the greeting gesture.“I’m Mohammed,” he said. “These are Jacques and Tiago.”He pointed at each of the old men.“Normally, there is also Giacomo, but he is sick,” he explained. “You play against me today.”Win nodded.Only now did he spot the second chess board painted behind the one they had already arranged the pieces on.While he followed Mohammed to fetch the second set of chess pieces from the wooden chests that also doubled as benches for the players, he learned that Mohammed was indeed a foreign student here, and that his family lived in Marrakesh in Morocco. He was here to study Astrophysics.When Win told him that his friends were at the physics conference at CERN, his new acquaintance was very happy, and told him he also wanted to join a project there in the future.It was interesting, how much conversation they managed to make despite their limited English skills, and through their vastly different accents. During their game, Win somehow learned that Mohammed had become part of this regular chess group in much the same way as Win: he had stopped to watch in between courses at university, and had been invited to join a game because they were lacking a player.And just like that, street chess had become a fixture in his weekly schedule, one he couldn’t miss.Win had quickly realised that he didn’t stand a chance against Mohammed, but his competitive nature didn’t allow him to give up easily, and he defended his king valiantly. It was well worth it.After they had finished the first round – Win had lost pitifully – the two old men had waved them over, and had produced a thermos filled with hot black coffee, sweetened with a lot of sugar, and very welcome in the cold.As they had shared their coffee, and the delicious Christmas chocolate they had produced out of a shopping bag, Win learned about them, too. Jacques was Swiss, but an Allémanique, a German speaker from the other side of the language divide. He had come to Geneva for love a long time ago, and had stayed.Tiago was Portuguese and had originally come here for work, but had eventually settled as well.In preparation for their trip, Win had read up on Geneva, of course; that it was an international city, home to many international organisations. He hadn’t expected to meet people from three different countries casually playing chess together in the streets, though.They were still sitting together amicably, talking about life here and in their native countries, when Win spotted Viola and Rose approaching through the gate from the old town. They were discreetly holding hands under their large oversized coats.Maybe it was just Win imagining it, but it looked like both their faces glowed.He didn’t hesitate to wave them over.The three locals had already started talking about a second round of chess, and Win had tried to find a way to politely decline, since he had realised his chess skills were not up to par.But Viola’s probably were.Indeed, after he had introduced his friends to the chess players, Mohammed had agreed to play the second round against Viola, and Win found himself sitting on a bench next to Rose, watching their game from a distance.“Have you heard anything from your fiancé?” Win asked.He tried to make it sound as non-committal as possible, as if he was merely trying to make meaningless conversation. Rose didn’t know about his fling with Vic, or Win didn’t think she knew at least, but maybe she could help him solve the mystery of the missing messages.Now that he wasn’t playing chess anymore, the sting hurt, the sudden lack of responses from his… what was he, really… his affair? His lover?He felt pathetic, that he tried to mine Rose for an answer – but he was just… worried.It wasn’t true.He wasn’t worried, he was missing him.“No,” Rose answered, and Win thought he could feel her curious gaze on her.It was a stupid question, really, from someone who knew Vic was just posing as her fiancé so she could stay with Viola, and that for all intents and purposes, she was actually engaged to her.“But he’s usually very busy with work when we are not around to distract him,” she continued.Win turned his head towards her as inconspicuously as he could. He probably failed, and Rose would look right through him.“Don’t worry,” she added with a sweet smile. “He mentioned an upcoming business trip. I don’t remember, might be today.”“Why would I worry?” Win asked back indignantly.Too indignantly.He was well aware of that.Particularly when he was met by Rose’s knowing smile.“Your secret is safe with me, Win,” she said calmly. “You were not nearly as secretive as you thought.”She laughed.Away from Thailand and UdG, Rose was a lot less guarded and quiet when they were outside.At least her laugh didn’t sound mocking. And her eyes looked sympathetic, too. In a strange way, comforted him. No matter whether she played her mysterious beauty role, or showed her teasingly fun private persona – she was captivating and charismatic. It was no wonder that that Black Hand idiot had tried to go after her.Win observed her, unsure what to make of her answer and the laugh, until she returned to her usual bearing, grinned, and explained:“Relax,” she said and tapped his thigh reassuringly. It was weird, he actually felt like relaxing just from the sweet tone in her voice. “I saw the two of you together, I saw the changes in him… I should notice, shouldn’t I? Our engagement may be just a means to an end, but we’ll still have to be a convincing married couple in the future. Vi had her suspicions, too, at the start, but she has convinced herself that you’re already over. I guess she was too busy these past weeks to notice you sneaking around together. I did, though, so… I confronted him alone, and made him tell me.”Her grin broadened.“I approve,” she said. “I wouldn’t object to your engagement to my girlfriend, if it came to that.”His engagement to…“Oh,” Win said, held up his hands, and shook his head vehemently. “I didn’t even… it isn’t that serious.”He had never even thought of that… the deal between Vic and his sister meant that Vic would marry the girl Viola wanted to spend the rest of her life with… and Viola would do the same for her brother. If Win actually got serious with Vic… he might have to get married to Viola eventually.No, that was absurd.Why was Rose even think that far?It was just a fling.“Are you sure it isn’t serious?” Rose asked exaggeratingly innocently.Win looked her up in surprise.He didn’t like how his heart jumped at the suggestion.Rose had talked to Vic, hadn’t she?What if…With every attempt at denying it, Win saw with more clarity that the idea of getting more serious with Vic, if he wanted it, too… actually felt dangerously appealing.He missed him. Even just his short messages, and especially his risqué selfies. The pictures never crossed the line entirely, but suggested… possibilities.There was no denying it: the last few weeks had been the best of his life because he had met Vic, because they had hit it off, because he liked him.“It only just started,” Win still said defensively. “We’re only fooling around…”As he said it, he was hit by the sudden realisation how much he didn’t want this to be true.Damn.He hadn’t gone and fallen in love with the next guy, so shortly after having his heart broken, like an idiot, had he now?“He seems pretty serious about you…”Rose’s voice trailed off.Win looked at her.He hated the hope that was bubbling up from these words alone.It was official, then. Win couldn’t deny it any longer: he was a fool, who had caught serious feelings for the rebound guy. And now, he idiotically grasped onto such small hopes, that what Rose said was true, that this time, his feelings weren’t a one-way street.Maybe there was an explanation for the lack of messages.Maybe Rose was right.“Why do you think that?” he asked tentatively.“Oh, I don’t know,” Rose answered with a shrug. “Is it because he has never told me about any of his flings before? Is it because he can’t stop gushing about you whenever we’re alone? Is it because he has never agreed to help anyone with his business before, the way he does with you?”Win listened up more with every point she mentioned. His heart beat louder, too.Could it be true?“Really?” he asked, trying hard not to smile to hard.“Is that a problem?”No… no it wasn’t a problem at all, Win thought. Did he really have a chance?He shook his head.“Maybe you should tell him that…” Rose said, and patted his thigh again encouragingly.Win found himself nodding mindlessly.Then, his mood suddenly dropped.“But…” he sighed. “He hasn’t answered to my messages since yesterday. I think he has moved on already.”“Nonsense,” Rose said with another chuckle. “He has probably turned off his phone. He wouldn’t just ghost you. Don’t you know him at all? Vic is a straight-forward guy, he’ll tell you where you’re at.”Win felt her thoughtful gaze on her.“Maybe not when he’s this serious…” she muttered to herself, but Win could still hear it all too clearly. “I told him to tell him, didn’t I? Why didn’t he…”She told him?What was even…Win straightened his back with sudden resolve. If he knew where Vic was right now, if he had a way to reach him, he would run to him right now, and tell him all about his newly realised serious feelings. There was no point in beating around the bush. He had survived Plan’s rejection; he could take whatever Vic’s response would be.And if Rose wasn’t lying… he might be more receptive of it than Win had thought.*~*~*Win nearly jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket with a message.They were sitting around the table in their apartment, eating Lebanese take-out food from a restaurant Viola knew, and Win hadn’t expected to hear anything from Vic anymore. It was past midnight in Bangkok, he had given up on receiving any messages today.While the others were busy chatting and eating the food, celebrating that Laure had left for Brussels earlier tonight, Win discreetly pulled out his phone. He wasn’t expecting any messages from anyone other than Vic. It had to be from him.His heart started beating wildly when he saw the sender.Did you miss me? It said when he opened it, along with a blurred selfie from an extremely tired-looking Vic in the backseat of a car.What do you think? He typed quickly.It wasn’t easy to take a selfie without alerting the others, and still convey both his happiness about the message and his annoyance over the long wait – but he managed to take a halfway decent shot at a weird angle from below the table.It would fit the message.
Awww… don’t be angry, you’ll understand later. Good night!
What was that supposed to mean?He snorted angrily, and froze, when everyone looked at him.“Would you have wanted her to stay?” Viola asked incredulously.Win had no idea what she was talking about, and quickly shook his head.“I’m sorry, I was just reading something on the phone. What were you talking about?”“Not important,” Viola answered. “It is good to finally be among ourselves. By the way, how did your presentation go, Plan? You were awfully quiet all evening.”Now that Viola had pointed it out, Win saw it, too. He hadn’t been the only person at the table distracted by something, but while Win was now fully present, Plan still seemed to be deep in thought.He only reacted when Mean poked him.“I agree,” Plan said.“Agree to what?” Viola asked.“Err… whatever you suggested, I’m fine with it.”Win chuckled, even though he had been caught with his head in the clouds the same way just moments before. It was funny when it was Plan.“I didn’t suggest anything,” Viola said smilingly. “I wanted to know about your presentation.”Plan nodded and smiled.“Oh, it went great!” he answered.Win automatically turned his gaze to Mean, who sat next to Plan, and who had witnessed the presentation first hand. Something was off, Mean looked noticeably less enthusiastic than his boyfriend.“They pointed out a significant flaw in your concept,” Mean said tentatively. “I thought you were so quiet because you were sad about it?”Plan laughed so heartily that Win couldn’t help but join in, without a clue why he would react that way.“Not at all, baby,” Plan said, still chuckling.Win turned his head slightly to roll his eyes. There had been one useful part about having Laure with them – Plan and Mean had been markedly less saccharine with each other, even after the truth had been exposed.Would this be the reality for the rest of the trip?“Why are you so absent, then?” Mean asked. “Should I be worried? I thought I should wait for you to tell me, but now…”Plan snickered again, and playfully leaned against his boyfriend’s shoulder, under the curious eyes of the rest of them.“You misunderstood,” Plan then explained. “The presentation went really well, didn’t you hear the applause? It is great that they found that flaw, I had very inspiring discussions with several intelligent people because of it. This will save us months of work, until we would have figured that out ourselves, eventually. I hope, at least. They were so helpful, they even exchanged contacts with me, so we can continue to refine the concept together – they are all very excited about our core hypothesis, they say it is very original, and that part wasn’t touched by the flaw.”Win was already losing track of what Plan was saying, but the others were nodding along, so he did, too.“I was sorting through all the new information in my head… I have already three new research propositions for Prof. Marsden… more interesting than the ones we have followed so far… if she approves even one of them, the next few months will be very exciting indeed,” Plan continued enthusiastically. “I’m sorry that I made you worry.”While Win still tried to figure out what exactly this meant, Mean smiled and hugged his boyfriend closer.“No, no,” Mean said. “I should apologise for disturbing your work.”If there was an example for a whipped boyfriend… Mean was certainly it.Win caught his thoughts wandering towards a certain business man back in Thailand… he couldn’t wait to tell him how he felt, and maybe, if he was lucky, he’d get the same type of proud and supportive reaction from a boyfriend soon, too.Ah, how great would that be.He missed him. He wanted to fly back and meet him, and become a real couple, too.Even more so, when he watched Plan smile at Mean, and tell everyone how proud he was about the connections Mean himself had made at the conference. That Plan had seen Mean thrive in vivid discussions with the engineers at CERN, and the husband of that foreign professor Plan idolised.That part was almost as much of a surprise to Win as the revelation of the true identity of the Black Hand leader had been: how serious Mean actually was about physics engineering.Win had heard the rumours about Mean building an electro engine for Viola’s motorbike, but he had been fooled by his public image just like the rest of them.Now that Plan was relaxing, and smiling at everyone, it looked like the conference had been a success all around. If Win didn’t get it all wrong, Plan had managed to put himself and Prof. Marsden’s research group firmly on the map, he had made valuable connections, and even though his presentation contained a flaw, nobody had thought less of him for it.And Mean… since Laure’s identity had been exposed, and the Attachitsataporn family was reuniting with their prodigal brother, a weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders. Win had never seen him so serious about anything other than his music, or his feelings for Plan – but it almost sounded like his role in the happy family reunion was allowing Mean to show his hidden sides more. Not just his gay identity, though that was part of it, too… but also his nerdy engineering side.Win was still contemplating all this, and trying to figure out what this meant for him and his own ambitions, when Mean suddenly dropped another bomb:“When we return, we’ll come out,” he announced, holding Plan’s hand in the air.“What? Why?” Viola spoke what Win himself was thinking.Hadn’t they fought tooth and nail against Laure outing them all this time, why would they make such a step, now that everything was over?“For one thing, we’re tired of hiding,” Mean said.Win saw Plan nod quietly next to his boyfriend.“And secondly,” Mean took a deep breath. “Even if Laure stops her attacks, the rumours about gay White Hand members will continue. And I don’t want any of you to get outed accidentally. If we draw all the buzz and the heat, you’ll be safe.”“Yeah, okay…” Viola conceded. “But… are you sure? There’s no going back once it’s out.”The determination in both Mean’s and Plan’s faces surprised Win – confidence was sexy, Win had already figured that out in the afternoon – and right now, they both brimmed with confidence.“My family supports us,” Mean said. “If it were up to them, they would make us the faces of their next advertising campaign. They want the airline to be attractive to rich gay foreigners. And I guess they want to look modern and progressive.”Viola frowned.“Yeah, but… the public might not be so forgiving. Don’t you know what my father thinks? You’ll never be allowed into our house again if you come out, as long as he has anything to say… and some of the other sponsors will think the same.”Win looked from Viola to Mean and to Rose, who was holding her girlfriend’s hand, but seemed much less agitated than her.“We know,” Plan said quietly, surprisingly unaffected by the others’ agitation. “Think it through with me: there won’t be any more attacks from Laure, so you’ll all be safe if the rumours die down. The best way to discourage other people from following in her footsteps is to give a reason for the rumours. Mean and I are best placed to take that. We have his family’s support, and my grandparents won’t interfere. The conference here made me realise a few things, too: the world is bigger than Thailand. If public opinion becomes too hot for us to handle there, we’ll be able to build something for ourselves abroad. With the Attachitsataporn family’s support, good references from Prof. Marsden and the contacts we made here, there will be a way for us to continue, one way or another.”That might be true, Win could see that… but he would still be sad, if Mean and Plan had to flee abroad.As always, however, he was impressed by Plan’s methodical approach to difficult situations – it had been a quality Win had admired form the start, even though it had also been the attitude that had prompted Plan to end their relationship so un-ceremonially last Summer.He couldn’t really agree with Viola when she argued back, despite sharing some of her worry.“Let’s just get Laure to apologise and admit that she made up that rumour to harm us. People will forget about it eventually. There’s no need for you to expose yourselves…”Before she could continue, she was interrupted by a hand slapping hard on the table.Win flinched.He had never seen Plan so forceful and determined… but it just confirmed his impression from the afternoon: that his ex-boyfriend had definitely already fit his newly discovered type.“Enough,” Plan said calmly; the calm only made him sound more commanding, Win noticed. “I understand that getting outed would be devastating for you. We’ll make sure to help protect you. But we’re in a different situation. We’re sick of hiding our relationship, and I now know it is possible for us to be open. We’re ready to face the consequences. And, Mean already planned it out with his agency. They have adapted the script for his music video. We’ll start slowly from there.”Win flinched again, when Viola also slapped her hand on the table.“You should have consulted with us,” she said angrily. “This isn’t just about you.”Mean slapped the table as well.This time, Win didn’t flinch anymore.Instead, he was almost tempted to do it, too, just to keep up.“How is our relationship about you?” Mean asked threateningly. “I already said we’ll make sure you won’t be outed. If you are scared about losing the dating rumours about us, maybe Win can step up. If they believed in the two of us, they’ll be more than willing to accept that you were so disappointed that you consoled yourself with another guy.”Before Win could process what was happening, all eyes were on him.“Would you be okay with that, Win?” he heard Mean say. “If not, we can always find another guy to play along, if that mystery lover of yours is not okay with it…”Did… Mean didn’t know who his lover was, did he?Plan knew… but Plan wouldn’t… there had been no indication so far that Mean had known. His teases would have been different... more targeted.It was just a coincidence, wasn’t it?No, if Mean knew who the ‘mystery lover’ was, he would have insisted pretending to date Viola was exactly what he would eventually have to do, anyway.“I think that’s an excellent solution,” Rose said, winking in Win’s direction behind Viola’s back.Win anxiously looked from one face to the others. As was to be expected, Plan nodded in agreement. Mean looked expectant and still somewhat defiant of Viola, and Viola turned to stare at her girlfriend as if she had just committed a veritable animé betrayal.“I… I… I mean, sure,” Win stammered, in an attempt to draw attention away from Rose. “Okay. I guess we can do that.”He waited for Viola to turn to him.Win hadn’t expected her to be so stunned by his answer.“Would you really be okay with that?”Win nodded, perhaps almost too eagerly – at least, it felt like it, when he caught Rose’s smile behind her girlfriend’s back.“Yeah,” Win said, now more resolutely. “It makes sense. We’re both in White Hand, we were on this trip together… it is plausible that you could have fled into my arms after breaking up with Mean.”Viola narrowed her eyes.“I didn’t know you had a mystery lover. What about him?” Her voice turned triumphant. “Don’t you have to ask him first?”He’s your brother, Win thought, he’ll be more than okay with it.He wanted to scream it at her, but not before Vic had had a chance to weigh in. His last message had reassured Win that their thing was still a thing, and Rose’s words had given him too much hope to handle – but that didn’t mean he would make a fool of himself in front of Vic’s sister.It was unusual, though, that ever scheming, ever well-informed Viola of all people hadn’t found out about her brother’s fling – then, Win remembered what Rose had said this afternoon, that Viola had been so busy that she had not paid attention to their situation anymore, and that she was therefore convinced they had already broken up.Maybe she could be excused for not noticing… it had almost sounded like Rose had intentionally distracted her, too.Still, something about this was hilarious.Win shook his head dramatically.“Let me handle that,” he assured her. “It will be fine, he’ll understand.”“If you say so.”Viola sounded defeated. Even more so when she sighed.“Fine,” she said. “I suppose you’re right, Meanie… If you want to go ahead with that, it isn’t my place to stop you. I’m glad you warned us, at least.”In Win’s ears, it didn’t sound terribly convincing, but Mean himself seemed content enough.“Don’t worry, we’ll all be fine,” he said and smiled. “I won’t let this hurt you… nor Plan and me, if I can help it.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“I want a window seat!”Win’s excitement upon entering the train harshly pulled Plan out of his musings. He watched his ex-boyfriend jump unto one of the window seats in an empty compartment, and allowed Viola to usher him into the seat facing Win.Apparently, it was worth looking out of the window on that trip, and the three rich kids of White Hand all agreed that Win and Plan should sit by the window, since they themselves had seen the views before.Plan had briefly wondered why they were travelling to Viola’s grandfather’s chalet in the alps by train, but before he could ask, she had explained it to everyone unprompted: the village where the chalet was located at, had banned the use of combustion engines on vehicles decades ago, to preserve the air quality. Even if you went there by car, you would have to park it at a lower point and either take the train up, or call an electro-powered taxi.In contrast, a journey by train was agreeable, and would bring them directly to the village centre, where the housekeepers of the chalet would wait for them.While all of this was interesting and foreign, Plan’s mind hadn’t stayed on that for long during breakfast and the taxi ride to the train station. He kept falling back into calculations and theorisations based on the insights he had gained at the conference.He had already spent most of last night sitting propped up against the headrest of the bed, scribbling down notes and formulas into his notebook, occasionally consulting a scientific paper on his phone or sending out messages to his newfound physicist friends if he needed their input.It had annoyed both Win and Mean eventually:Win had moved out of their room into the smaller one that was free since Laure had left, mumbling something about how unexpected it was that he moved because of Plan’s physics and not because of what Win had called couple cringe.Mean had covered his eyes with a sleep mask, plugged his ears, and had demonstratively turned his back towards his boyfriend before he drifted off, too.Plan had only felt marginally guilty. The conference was for the benefit of his research group, after all, and if he was making progress in that area, he needed to focus on that.Judging by the relaxed smile on Mean’s face now, as he dropped into the seat next to Plan on the train, he didn’t resent him for it, either. They had both been busy before the trip, too. Respect for each other’s work was a prerequisite for their relationship.Still, Plan exhaled contently, when Mean gave him a hearty peck on the cheek before he leaned over to rest his head on his shoulder. It would be nice later, after they weathered the publicity storm of coming out: just being open about their affection for each other.These last days, they had talked a lot about what that step would entail, both among themselves and consulting with Prof. Foster and his husband. They had introduced them to other queer people at the conference, too. There were more of them than Plan had expected: meeting one of them had naturally unlocked the door to finding the rest of the tribe.Their new friends had been happy to help and give their perspective on it.Luckily, they had the support of Mean’s entertainment agency as well, as per contract.The agency had managed to incorporate their decision into the promotion schedule for Mean’s music releases so naturally, that Plan suspected they had had that plan in their drawers, ready to be pulled out and executed at any moment.They had sent an adapted script for the music video almost instantly.Plan didn’t care anymore.So what if this meant Mean’s family was profiting off of them.Coming here, attending the conference, feeling the warm welcome from his physicist peers, meeting others like them, this entire trip had done much to soothe Plan’s past self-doubts, and assure him in his life-altering choices since the reporters had chased him for that fateful scholarship.It was funny.He snickered to himself, just as the train started to move.“Are you so happy to leave Geneva?”Win’s voice reminded him that the others were still here, and that his mind had wandered again. Plan flinched and sat up straighter, causing Mean’s head to slip off his shoulder and unto his chest.Plan automatically reached out to catch him and hold him affectionately. He certainly wouldn’t complain about that change, feeling Mean so close to his heart was nice.“Ah, not at all,” Plan answered. “I liked it here. I was just laughing, because I remembered my presentation yesterday.”“What’s so funny about it?” Win asked, but before Plan could answer, Mean tapped on his forearm to get his attention.As his gaze followed where Mean’s hand was pointing, out of the window, Plan immediately understood why he had done that.Just a few minutes after the train had left the train station, the line of houses blocking the view disappeared, and the peaks of snow-covered mountains appeared in the far distance under the clear blue, cloudless winter sky.“Woah,” Win exclaimed, expressing Plan’s mood perfectly.“You’re really lucky,” Viola said with a smile. “It’s not every day that you get clear views like that. Wait until we get to the East side of the lake, you’ll be stunned.”While Win’s face remained glued to the window, watching the empty, white-frost covered fields, and the deep blue lake behind them, Plan decided to answer his previous question to nobody in particular.“I find it funny that my presentation had such embarrassing flaw, and that none of us at Prof. Marsden’s group noticed it, until it was pointed out to me yesterday – and yet… I just feel… better about myself now. I’m so relieved!”He laughed and felt the heads of the four others turn towards him.All their gazes were on him.“Why?” Mean asked on behalf of all of them.“Yesterday, I was only focussed on how much this helps me improve our proposal. And it really helped break the ice. It was a good conversation starter during coffee breaks,” he explained. “But… I don’t think that’s all it was.”He paused.Now that he was saying it out loud, it became a lot more obvious.“Everyone has been hyping me up as this genius since I accepted the scholarship… I always assumed that I could only disappoint people in the end, because I’m not as good as everyone thinks.”Out of the corner of his eyes, Plan could see Viola already stirring in her seat on the other side of the aisle, ready to scold him again for not accepting his destiny, like she had done before – but he didn’t mean it like that anymore.“I’m relieved that my presentation was so far from perfect.”It sounded preposterous, but it made sense to him now:“They didn’t eat me alive, nobody booed… nobody blamed me for that oversight. Nobody called me overrated or shunned me afterwards. The all assured me that it could have happened to anyone.”He snickered again.“I think they respect me more now, weird as that sound. I understood the flaw the moment it was pointed out to me. I could continue the presentation and update it whenever it affected the slides I prepared. Maybe this actually helped garner more interest in our research. There were several people from the audience who came to me afterwards, to tell me they enjoyed my presentation and were looking forward to the results from my adapted proposals.”Plan felt Mean stir on his chest and sit up next to him.“I get it,” Mean said. Plan flinched in happy surprise, when he received another affectionate kiss on his cheek. “Geniuses are human, too. I don’t know what gave you this idea, but… you’re allowed to be wrong, you know. I’ll still love you.”The warm cloud Plan was floating on from these words was punctured by Win’s dramatic pantomime of a person vomiting into the trash can.“Ah, don’t be like that,” Mean said. “I thought you had your mystery lover, too. I’m sure you’re the master of cheese in private. Or maybe it just isn’t that serious…”Win folded his arms in front of his chest, as if Mean had hit a sore spot.Plan wondered what that meant. Was Win’s relationship with Viola’s brother really just a fling, like he had claimed?“Even if I was seriously dating someone, I wouldn’t be as corny as you,” Win said defiantly.“Really?” Plan retorted, demonstratively pulling Mean back against his chest. “I remember when we were dating, you were a true romantic. I liked that, you know. You shouldn’t stop doing that.”While he said the last bit, he hugged Mean closer, leaving it deliberately vague whether he had meant Mean or Win – both, actually.Win could make fun of Mean’s declaration of support all he wanted – but that didn’t change the fact that Plan appreciated it a lot. True, it was the kind of sentiment that felt trivial when it was said out loud, which was exactly the reason why Plan had needed to hear it: knowing it was true was one thing, actually letting that truth sink in was another matter, one that would need repetition, time… and support from people he loved and respected.Since the train had started rolling, it felt like they hadn’t just left Geneva behind; Plan could also finally let his work rest. He quickly realised that, in his mind, Geneva had been for work, and now...“This is my first real vacation,” he said into the silence of the otherwise empty wagon, to nobody in particular. “Can you believe it?”Mean brusquely turned his head upwards.“What do you mean, your first real vacation?” he asked.“It means, when I lived with grandma and grandpa, the closest I had to vacations, was a trip down to Chiang Mai with them, usually when they had some type of business there. And then, when I was at school in the city, vacations only meant going back to the village and help out.”In all the novelty and the commotion of the conference and its lead-up, Plan hadn’t properly acknowledged the fact that he had never been on a vacation before.There had been too many firsts already: first trip to another country, first flight, first time at a conference, first presentation in English… and then he had also added that extra one the night before they left Bangkok.He regretted none of them.It was weird, the more it started to sink in, that from today until Saturday, he was here only for the sake of enjoying himself, and free to do whatever he wanted to do, without thinking about his studies, or research, or the fact that Mean and him were bound to walk into a media storm when they returned.If he wasn’t here with Mean and the other White Hand members, Plan wouldn’t have known where to start with all the places he would want to visit, all the things he wanted to experience while he had the chance.Luckily, he could simply tag along, and discover new things randomly, without having to make a choice.“Oh my God, you should have told me!”Mean sat up.Plan wouldn’t have been surprised if he had pulled the emergency brake and called a helicopter or something, just to speed up the journey.In reality, he only looked at Plan excitedly, and said:“From now on, I’ll make sure you’ll get all the vacations you want.”“Let’s enjoy this one first, hm?” Plan answered defensively.He could feel Mean’s body stiffen, even before he saw the expression on his face slip.What was… had he misunderstood?“I just mean…” Plan added apologetically. “I don’t know if I’ll like vacations. This is my first.”Mean immediately relaxed again – but it energised him even more than before.He looked around at the others and rolled up his sleeves.“You heard him,” he said hectically. “We have to make sure his first vacations will be unforgettable. We already missed out on so much because of my cousin – but now… we need to find the best Fondue restaurant, I bet you’ll find that weird, Plan, dipping bread and boiled potatoes into melted cheese, but you have to have this experience. And you’ll have to play in the snow with me… ah, but you’ll do that for the video, anyway. We could go sledging, together, too… or, hey, do you want to learn how to ski?”Snow?Of course…Plan had seen the snow on the hilltops around them since they arrived, he had known about the concept of the music video and everything – but somehow, he hadn’t fully connected their current trip to actually, legitimately touch snow for the first time. It was wild, that they were on the way somewhere where there was actual, real snow he could just touch and jump into… and it was just three more hours on the train away.“Slow down, Mean,” Viola chuckled.She got up and sat nonchalantly into her girlfriend’s lap. They looked funny like that, the tomboyish Viola sitting on top of the delicate-looking Rose.“You’re overwhelming your poor boyfriend,” Viola continued. “I’m sure you’ll find opportunities to come back, I doubt that this will be the last time you’ll attend a conference in Europe. You’ll always be welcome at our chalet.”Would they, though?Plan perked up and pushed Mean’s head off of his chest once more.He might get annoyed, if he kept doing that.“Didn’t you say your family wouldn’t accept you anymore, if they knew about your real relationship? Would they allow us to use your chalet again?”Viola took a deep breath.Plan noticed that Rose was tightening her grip around her girlfriend’s waist.“My father wouldn’t,” Viola explained. “But the chalet belongs to grandpa. He likes me, and he has always approved of my friendship with Mean… ah, not for sentimental reasons, don’t give him too much credit. He thinks being on good terms with the Attachitsataporn family is profitable, and the bottom line is all he cares about. He wouldn’t ban you, as long as your family remains relevant and supports you.”She smirked.“And I’ll make sure grandpa passes the company on to me when the time is right. Don’t worry.”This statement got Mean to dart around and stare at her.“What?” he asked incredulously. “Haven’t you always complained about how you hate your background, and how you’d open a motorcycle repair shop if it was up to you? Have you ever really believed that or was it all just a smoke screen?”Plan was ready to hold him back in case he decided to jump up in anger if it continued.“I was a rebellious teenager when I said that, Mean,” she answered calmly. “I meant it back then, I really hate these bullshit people and their conservative values, and I don’t want to be like them. But I’m older now, and understand more. You aren’t the only one who has figured some things out about yourself in our conflict with Black Hand.”“Like what?”Viola shrugged.“It hurts my pride that I lost against your dear cousin. Technically, if she hadn’t been so keen on telling us who she is and how she fooled us all, we still wouldn’t know,” she admitted. “I need to get better. I need to learn from my mistakes. But… It was fun, all in all. I liked the challenge. I like that there was something at stake for real, not like poker, where at worst you lose a bit of money.”If there were any clear signs how well-off Viola’s background was, then this casual way in which she dismissed money as an issue certainly was one, Plan mused.He remembered how angry and disgusted Laure had been with them – and if Plan hadn’t known his White Hand friends already, he might have sympathised with her views. If he hadn’t known Viola long enough, hearing her say that would have felt callous of her… the bit of money she might lose in a poker game was probably more than Plan’s grandparents earned in a year.Sometimes, he thought that his friends might do well to learn what it felt like, skipping meals, just so you had enough money to pay for the bus back home to visit your old grandparents, turning every penny before buying something that was not strictly necessary. Like a new shirt, even though the old one could still be mended.Plan still remembered how uncomfortable he had been, when he had taken out such a huge sum of money from his scholarship, just to buy an expensive mobile phone. Back then, he had still believed that he would have to give the money back, and repay everything he had spent. While the purchase hadn’t made a big dent in his scholarship budget, it would have devastated him if he had had to earn it back through part-time jobs.Contrary to what Laure had insinuated about him, that discomfort was still simmering underneath the surface, even now… he was grateful that the others had paid for everything on the trip so far, without letting him see the bills.He wouldn’t be able to sit here comfortably, if he knew how much they had paid for a seat on a train in one of the most expensive countries in the world.“So, you’re saying you’ll try to get the family company?” Mean asked, pulling Plan out of his musings.Viola nodded.“I can’t let grandpa hand it to my father, he’s a bigot… and he is way too conservative in his leadership style, too. You can’t consolidate and develop such a big conglomerate in the future, if you don’t know how to read trends,” she explained. “Vic is happy if I fight that fight for us. He’ll let me become the chairman, if I make him the CEO. He prefers to lead the daily operations. It’s a matter of trust between us, you know, what we’ll do. We are both aware of the stakes. Our entire future depends on us getting along with each other and working together. He’ll get married to Rosie next Summer, and I’ll marry whoever he wants to be with, if he ever gets there.”When Plan discreetly glanced at Win, he saw that Rose did the same from behind her girlfriend’s back – while the two others were oblivious.Did Rose know about her fiancé’s lover?Would that work, if Win actually got serious about Vic? Would he fit into that group?Win looked out of the window a bit too intensely. He could be grateful that the views continued to be stunning, or he wouldn’t have been able to hide it.While Viola continued to talk about her and her brother’s plans for the future, and how the risk of getting exposed by Laure had made her realise that she needed to secure a position of power for herself and her brother, to protect themselves from their father’s influence in the worst case scenario – Plan’s eyes stayed on Win.In a weird way, Plan could see that Win was a good match for that family constellation. Win was ambitious and ready to take whatever opportunity was presented to him. If it was Plan in his position, he would have to be really deeply in love with his partner to agree to be part of such a huge gamble.To be honest, he would probably be too scared to even start dating someone like Vic for his family situation alone.But Win… he would be ready to sacrifice things if it gave him not just love but opportunities.*~*~*“Oh, listen! It crunches under each step! Do you hear that?”Mean smiled to himself, while he watched his boyfriend run around on the snow-covered street in front of the train station in Zermatt, excitedly commenting on everything he was finding out about snow.It was a brilliant sunny day under a cold azure sky. If they hadn’t arrived past lunchtime, Mean might have been tempted to rent skiing equipment and hit the slopes until the ski lifts closed. But by the time everything would have been ready and fitted, after a detour to the chalet, he would probably only get one descent and that was all.It wasn’t worth it.And he preferred watching Plan discovering snow with childlike wonder, as he did now.“Careful, Plan! There might be ice bubbles underneath the snow. Don’t slip and hurt yours-”Mean could never finish the sentence. As if he had conjured up the bad luck, he saw Plan slip, and immediately darted over to catch him, just before he’d have hit the ground.Instead, he was now bent over Plan in a position right out of a cheesy romance drama.“Seriously now?” he heard Win call from the safety of the sheltered entrance area.“Psst, Plan, hold onto me, I’ll put you down over there in safety,” Mean whispered to his boyfriend, who only grudgingly obliged.The disgust on Win’s face was palpable, as Mean carried Plan bridal style over to the safe, snow-free floor.“You should have taken the opportunity and kissed him,” Rose said with a smirk.“Shhh, don’t encourage them.”Mean wanted to call Win out for being such a grumpy spoil-sport, but he grudgingly had to admit that he sympathised with the only single guy alone with two couples.Well… single with a mystery lover.Mean really wondered who it was. He remembered that the girls had suspected it to be Viola’s brother a while ago, but they would have found out about that, if it was true, wouldn’t they?Surely, Win had more self-respect than going out with a philandering jerk like Vic.It was probably someone from the sports department that neither of them knew.His musings were stopped by the arrival of the chalet’s housekeeper with his electro vehicle, complete with an additional trailer for their luggage. While Viola greeted the old Swiss man, who took care of the chalet together with his Thai wife, Mean anxiously helped Plan get into his seat.He knew that he was fussing, and that Plan was now aware of the dangers of snow-covered roads and wouldn’t slip so easily again – but he still couldn’t… it would be such an unfortunate start to Plan’s first vacation if he broke a leg before they even reached the chalet.Soon, they were driving through the main street of the famous tourist location. Mean couldn’t stop watching Plan adoringly. His boyfriend had his nose glued to the window, his jaw permanently dropped as he continuously spotted new things to be impressed with: the picturesque shops and restaurants, the little marmot statue by the church, and then…“Woah, isn’t that the mountain on these triangle chocolate bars? You know the ones they sell at the airport?” Win shouted.Plan seemed incapable of forming a coherent sentence in his state of wonder.“It is,” Viola said. “That’s what makes this place so famous. You can also see it from the balcony at the chalet, but it is usually hidden in the clouds. You’re really lucky today is such a brilliant day.”They really were lucky, Mean silently agreed. Somehow, he wanted to believe that it was because this was Plan’s first vacation, and he deserved to see the brightest views first. He still had a hard time imagining how life had been for Plan in the past. As much as he had already adjusted to his new life in Bangkok, there were moments like these, when Mean was reminded again, how different their background were.He hoped that in time, he would be able to visit Plan’s village, and see for himself how he had lived before.When they finally reached the chalet, Mean was confused to see that there was already a set of skiing equipment leaning against the wall in the sun, as if someone was ready to hit the slopes soon.“Did you order equipment for us already, Vi?” he asked. “Don’t they have to fit it to us individually at the store?”Viola didn’t answer, but it was obvious that she was just as confused as Mean himself.The mystery was solved as soon as the vehicle came to a halt in front of the garage, and the front door sprang open.“Brother, dearest!” Viola cried and quickly jumped outside. “What are you doing here? You could have told me you were coming! I thought you would accompany grandpa in January.”Vic sported a very smug smile when he turned to his sister – but Mean noticed that while his body was turned to his sister, his eyes were searching for something, or someone behind her.It couldn’t be…“Ah, you know, sis, I missed my fiancée… and I thought I’d surprise you.”“Your fiancée?! Why would you miss Rosie? That doesn’t make s-”There was no reason for her to finish that sentence. To Mean’s horror, Win stumbled out of the vehicle behind them and ran towards Vic like a madman.Mean was too far away to hear what Win was saying to him, but it was very obvious… no, it couldn’t be true… it most definitely was true. While everyone else was standing there like they were frozen in place, Win pressed Vic against the white-washed wall, that was glistening in the sun like the snow around them, and kissed him with so much passion that it made Mean gulp uncomfortably.“Seriously?” he shouted, as soon as he had finally gotten over the first shock.He tried hard to imitate Win’s annoyed tone from before.Oh, he wouldn’t hear the end of this, Mean would make sure of that.How could that hypocrite even complain about Plan and him? This was way worse… if nobody stopped them, that kiss could turn positively pornographic, and Mean decidedly didn’t need to see his boyfriend’s ex kiss his best friend’s brother.The two lovebirds were only torn out of their own little world, when Viola cleared her throat audibly, and said:“I didn’t think this was still a thing.”This prompted Vic to lazily pull away from Win and peek at his sister from behind his… lover? Boyfriend?What were they, exactly?Wait, hadn’t he said he was here for his fiancée earlier? They couldn’t be this serious already, could they? Mean didn’t think Vic would ever be serious about someone, and he privately pitied Win for falling such a loose guy just after he had had his heart broken by Plan. But then… he also hadn’t expected Vic to travel to another continent just to surprise a lover, so, who was Mean to tell.“I wouldn’t be a very good businessman, if I couldn’t even keep any secrets from you,” he said smugly.Ah… this trip had to be bitter for poor Viola. Mean almost felt bad for her.First, she had to accept that she had missed the important clues about the Black Hand leader, and had been outplayed by Mean’s cousin.And now… her brother, too?Even Win… Win had fooled them all.Well… Mean looked around. Neither Plan nor Rose seemed particularly surprised. Mean knew that Plan had known the identity of Win’s lover, so it figured, but…“Did you know, Rose?”She just shrugged.“Shouldn’t I know who my fiancé is seeing? We’ll get married soon, I need to know who my husband will be, fake or not.”“Shouldn’t you have told your girlfriend, too?” Viola asked grumpily. “Who are you loyal to?”Mean flinched away instinctively, even though Viola wasn’t talking to him at all. She was scary, if you were on the wrong side of her.But this didn’t seem to be true for Rose:Completely unbothered by her girlfriends seething temper, she walked up to Viola and hugged her from behind.She whispered something into her ear that made Viola’s body relax visibly.“Alright,” Viola said loud enough for the rest to hear.She huffed and proceeded to glare at Win and her brother.“This isn’t over,” she hissed.Before she could fall into a passive-aggressive tirade, Rose tightened the hug around her waist and whispered something more to her. That finally brought a lasting smile to her face.Mean was impressed.The girls had played their charade so well, that Mean had never realised how much power Rose obviously had over her girlfriend – he was glad that it worked, though. He didn’t really want to deal with a grumpy Viola for the rest of their stay, here. So, if Rose could soothe her, she was very welcome to do it.“Just so you know: I approve,” Rose said happily. “I think they are cute together.”“Does this mean you want me to start dating Win?” Viola asked, in a much more neutral tone than before. “Wait… Did you know about them, too, when you suggested it yesterday, Meanie? Was it fun for you all, playing with my ignorance?”Mean quickly shook his head.“No…” he said, holding up his hands defensively. “I’d never thought… I’m as surprised as you are. But I see now why Win was so quick to agree.”This had obviously not changed at all.“Yeah, I think we should start dating,” Win said cheerfully.As much as it pained him, Mean had to concede that Win had chutzpah. It sounded like he was officially asking out Vic in front of everyone.Well… maybe having secretly travelled to Switzerland for him was enough of a clue.Still, Mean would probably not have had the guts to be so forward.Vic didn’t say anything, but Mean saw that he was nodding smilingly next to Win. By the looks of it, he had probably already agreed to that before that… could you still call it a kiss, or could it count as foreplay?Mean would never accept any of Win’s complaints about Plan and him, anymore.“Let’s all get inside, first, before we catch a cold out here,” Viola said with a sigh.Only now did Mean notice that while they had talked, the housekeeper and his wife had already carried their luggage inside.He’d need time to process this. It wasn’t really for him to decide who his friends went out with – he didn’t like it when they tried to meddle with his relationship, either.At least he had another reason to tease Win with.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
2 years later
“Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you. It’s probably really silly of me, but… are the two of you Thai?”Plan looked at the blonde teenage girl, who had been sharing their compartment on the train for a while, and who had just asked them this question in English.He nodded.“Oh my God, you are!” the girl squealed. “I’m sure you probably hear this all the time, but… you really look like this famous couple from the series I’ve been watching recently. It’s called High Energy Collision, and it’s based on a true story.”Plan grimaced.By now, he was more than used to being recognised everywhere he went in Thailand, but this was the first time this happened here in Switzerland. Who would have thought that this series would be watched so far away from Thailand?Maybe in hindsight, it was a mistake, letting the Attachitsataporns talk him into signing off on it.He shivered, as he thought back to almost two years ago, when Mean’s music video had first dropped and this entire circus had started.The agency’s PR team had managed it all for them: the first images and clips of the video had been teasing a big reveal on social media. Then, scenes of them playing together in the snow and cuddling in front of the fireplace in the video had piqued everyone’s curiosity, and fuelled the rumour mill.Finally, Plan had attended Mean’s first full live show as a VIP guest, and at the end of it, Mean had thanked him for his support, and had officially introduced him as his boyfriend to a mostly cheering audience.At that time, Plan had been prepared for the publicity, and he had embraced it for Mean’s sake, as well as for the benefit of not having to hide their love anymore.Of course, there had been backlash against their relationship from conservatives, even influential ones. All in all, Mean’s family had handled everything perfectly, though: Mean and Plan had quickly been accepted by the general public as the fashionably eccentric part of the Attachitsataporn clan, known for their westernised ideals and capricious interests. As such, the two of them had become an unexpected fixture in Bangkok’s high society.On some level, Plan actually admired them for the flawless execution of their plan, as uncomfortable as it felt being used as a pawn for their family promotion. He had never felt scared that they might lose their hold over the narrative and become swept away by a scandal beyond their control.In the end, it had worked almost too well, and what Plan had always tried to avoid had started to happen: the many events he had to attend as Mean’s partner, and the general attention to him wherever he went, had begun to seriously affect his studies and his research. Not to mention his personal comfort.Thus, they had collectively decided three semesters ago, that he should continue his education abroad, to allow him to focus on science undisturbed. Prof. Marsden had quickly found a prestigious research group he could join at the Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, Switzerland, where he had passed a fast-track Master’s degree and was now enrolled as a PhD student.It had taken Plan almost all of his first semester to get used to living in this foreign city, after he had barely managed to acclimatise to Bangkok in the year the had spent there. By now, he had overcome the worst waves of culture shock, though, and he actually enjoyed living here… most of the time. When it wasn’t winter, and dark and foggy all the time.Especially since Mean had finally been able to join him here half a year ago, life was good here.Mean still had to travel back to Thailand too often for Plan’s liking, but at least he had his own reason to stay in Lausanne: he had secured a timeslot at a recording studio in Montreux, the world-famous music hotspot on the shores of Lake Geneva. He wasn’t only recording his second album there, but he was doing an apprenticeship as a songwriter and sound engineer, that would hopefully help him find work as a writer and producer for international artists.They had both been happy to be reunited. This was the first time they lived together as a proper couple, with all the domesticity, and ups and downs this entailed. Plan suspected that beyond that, his boyfriend was also relieved to be just another anonymous guy for once.Mean would never be caught admitting that to anyone, though.And now, this.“I told you, we should have rented a car,” Mean whispered in Thai, leaning so close to Plan’s head that from the girl’s perspective it must look like he was kissing his neck.Out loud and in English, he said:“Well spotted. I’m Mean.”He smiled and put his hands together politely with a reverent bow, as if he was already back in Thailand. Then, he nodded sideways.“This is Plan.”Plan imitated the gesture and tried hard to mimic Mean’s smile. He would never succeed in making it look just as natural and honest, unless he actually meant it.The girl didn’t seem to mind. She squealed again, and excitedly asked if she could take a selfie with them – which Mean immediately agreed to, and Plan grudgingly joined.When she had sat back down opposite of them, her eyes fell on their two big suitcases on the luggage rack.“Oh!” She exclaimed. “You’re on your way to the wedding, aren’t you? Will they make a special episode of the series about it, too? I’m so excited that the straight side-couples actually get married in real life!”Plan didn’t know if there was a special planned. To be honest, after they had signed off on the series deal, he had tried to get involved as little as possible. He had yet to watch even one episode of High Energy Collision.“There might be one,” Mean answered instead, smiling mysteriously.Ah… Plan should have guessed.The Attachitsataporns wouldn’t let such a good opportunity slide, even if it meant angering the father of the groom and the bride respectively. Vic’s and Viola’s father had been one of the most vocal opponents of Mean’s and Plan’s relationship, and he had initially tried to get his children to break their friendship with them.Unfortunately for him, just like Viola had predicted, Mean’s family was too important for him to alienate, and he had grudgingly allowed them to stay in White Hand – even after it had officially been renamed Rainbow Hand just to spite people like him.Plan wondered what he would say, if he knew that this new provocative name had been invented by his son Vic and officially suggested by his future son-in-law Win. And worse, if he knew that his two children hadn’t insisted on a double wedding as a sign of their strong family bond at all.“Great! I’ll be looking out for a special,” the girl said, still beaming from ear to ear.For a moment, it looked as if she would finally return to whatever she had been doing on her phone before she had mustered her courage to talk to them – but then, she abruptly looked up again.“It’s a shame that Win is so aggressively straight,” she said. “Ah, sorry, this is probably really inappropriate. It’s just… you might not be aware that half the fandom ships VicWin, or Victory, as we call it. I know we shouldn’t ship people who are engaged to be married to other people. But their actors have such great chemistry… ah, well, I suppose you can’t change real people’s sexual orientation.”She stopped and flinched. Plan hoped that this meant she had finally realised who she was talking to.Instead, she said:“You are much better off with Mean either way, Plan. Unrequited love is the worst, I’m glad you got over Win so well.”Plan glanced sideways at Mean, while he tried to keep his composure neutral. He discreetly grabbed for his hand and squeezed it. If the girl mistook this gesture as him agreeing with her, and not him trying to get emotional support from his boyfriend, it was all the better.Someone should teach that girl what ‘based on a true story’ actually meant. Specifically, that such a series wasn’t a documentary telling their real story.A lot of storylines in the series were not true at all. For example, that Plan had had an unrequited crush on Win back in Chiang Mai was clearly made up. If anything, it had been Win who had had too big of a crush on Plan back then, while in hindsight, Plan knew he himself had been dating him for mostly shallow reasons.There was also the case of entire subplots that never happened in reality. Like, how Vic had wooed the delicate Rose, and how Win had tamed the rebellious Viola, after Mean had left her for Plan. They couldn’t tell the real story about them for obvious reasons. It would defeat the purpose of entering a marriage of convenience with your sibling’s partner to hide the real relationship, if it was revealed to the public through a subplot in a series.Mean had to be proud of his consulting effort on the series, Plan thought. This fan not only never even considered ghost shipping WinPlan, she had also picked up on the subtle hints at Vic’s and Win’s true relationship, something Mean must have planted there.Maybe Plan should take the time on the plane to actually watch the show. It might be difficult if he didn’t know all about it.*~*~*“Shouldn’t the best man help organise the stag night?” Win said, mockingly reproachful, even before he greeted Plan. “You took your sweet time getting here.”Plan yawned. He was deliberately slow to close the distance between them and hug him. They hadn’t seen each other since Win had stayed with them for a few days, while he attended an event at the International Olympic Committee last Summer to promote his company.It felt like ages ago now.Win was one of the few people Plan always missed when he was abroad, especially since Mean had moved in with him and filled that longing void in his heart. Win was the only remaining close friend, who remembered Plan from before he had become a certified Genius and the boyfriend of one of the richest kids in all of Thailand.If Win wasn’t around, Plan sometimes feared he would forget who he was and where he came from.“It’s good to see you, too, Win.”It wasn’t that Plan hadn’t tried to get here earlier, but he had to respect the research group’s schedule. This had been the earliest he could realistically get away.Even after having flown back and forth a few times since his first ever trip abroad, Plan hadn’t really gotten used to jetlag. His brain felt sluggish and full of fog, from the long intercontinental flight, followed immediately by several hours in the back of a car to Tio’s new agritourism farm, where the wedding would be held.“My dear future husband, do you really need your best man to organise your stag night, if you have another groom to help you with it?”Viola came up behind Win and nonchalantly laid her arm over his shoulders.There weren’t any sensitive guests around, yet, who shouldn’t hear the truth about this double wedding, but knowing Viola, Plan assumed that she wanted to be careful even if nobody heard it. After all, this was the culmination of a plan she and her brother had hatched over ten years ago, and she had to be nervous about it failing on the final stretch.“If a best man has nothing to do, anyway, you should just have gone ahead and made Meanie your bridesmaid, dear,” Win answered with a broad smirk.“Other than the part where Mean isn’t a maid in any capacity, and my father would kill him if he turned up at my side instead of a nice, proper straight girl.”“Nice… proper… straight, that describes Dea. Sure, if you want to think that,” Win whispered to her, just loud enough for Plan to hear. “Isn’t she your ex?”Viola looked around and shrugged.“I thought I should follow your lead. If you make your ex your best man, I had to make my ex my bridesmaid, didn’t I?” she said, not bothering with keeping her voice down, now that she had made sure nobody else was close by. “Besides, it is really hard to find a suitable bridesmaid that neither Rosie nor I have a history with, and I let her have the only exception. You wouldn’t have wanted either of us to choose Mean’s charming cousin, would you?”Now that Viola had mentioned it… Plan had almost completely forgotten that he was effectively acting as best man for his ex-boyfriend’s wedding. It felt so long ago since they had dated, it barely counted.“Brr, don’t mention her,” Viola answered, visibly shivering just from the thought of it. “We can be thankful that her dad convinced her not to bother travelling here from Belgium just for a wedding. But what are we all still standing here for? Come on, come in… let me show you to your bungalow, you must be tired. Where is your boyfriend, anyway, Plan?”That was a good question.Plan looked around the mostly empty marquee they were standing in. It was set up as a temporary reception area for all the guests that were expected to arrive over the next few days. About a year ago, Tio had had the opportunity to buy a run-down farm, with land to cultivate different types of crops, plus a still untouched forest behind it – and with the help of Mean’s family, he had managed to raise the funds and officially start his business.People who had seen the old farm from before surely wouldn’t recognise it anymore now. Tio had done most of the work himself, renovating and expanding buildings, adapting the farming concept to incorporate both traditional techniques and modern organic farming knowledge, and establishing the tourism concept.Probably not least because of Mean’s sister Jule’s growing influencer career and her genuine love for this place, the farm had become a trendy location for a weekend getaway for everyone who wanted to be someone in Bangkok’s hip and high society.For the next two weeks, it was completely booked by Vic and Viola’s family, though, for what was shaping up to be the wedding of the decade.“He was right behind me when we got out of the car,” Plan said and shrugged. “I guess he’s old enough to look after himself. I wouldn’t mind getting some sleep, why don’t you show me my bed already?”He wasn’t prepared to meet Win’s surprised gaze.“Wow, no wonder people say living together kills romance.”In Plan’s opinion, it was less about romance, and more about being absolutely exhausted. He would kill a lot more than just romance if it meant finding a bed to lie down in for a while.“I can make finding me in bed romantic for him, have you thought about that?”“I think I’m grateful that we gave you one of the more secluded bungalows,” Win answered with a grimace. “I’ve had enough opportunities to stay in a room next to yours, thank you very much.”“Aww, you’re welcome. Don’t act as if you don’t enjoy staying next door to us. You are always getting into these idiotic fucking competitions with my boyfriend. You’re both so immature.”Plan reached for the handle of his suitcase and looked impatiently at Viola, until she started walking towards the bungalows.“Hey, at least we won!” Win shouted from behind him.“You wish!”It was probably testament to just how tired Plan was, that he didn’t realise Win had not followed them, until Viola had stopped in front of the door of what looked like a hyper-modern bungalow, hidden underneath mock-traditional architecture.This entire building complex hadn’t been constructed, yet, when he had last visited Tio during the last semester break.In a weird way, the design reminded him of his grandparents’ hut back at the village – just a hyper-luxurious version of it. Maybe he should take a picture and send it to the village teacher as a suggestion for his grandparents.Thanks to Plan’s connections with the sponsors of his still ongoing scholarship, the village could now sell their rice at a ridiculously high price under a fancy label for traditional farming perservation and organic production. And yet, his grandparents still stubbornly refused to refurbish their home more than strictly necessary, or to buy a phone to keep in contact with him.If they could disguise a more comfortable living space under the shell of their old and familiar building, they might consider it.When Plan shared that observation with Viola, she laughed.“Ah right,” she said. “My dearest future husband forgot to tell you: your grandparents send their regards. They are doing well, and hope that you continue to work hard. They also sent us a huge bag of rice as a wedding gift.”That sounded like them.Staying away from them had improved Plan’s relationship with his grandparents, all things considered.They seemed less pained about having had to raise a grandchild while mourning their daughter, now, and contrary to when he had first moved to Bangkok, it didn’t feel like they were pushing him away entirely anymore.From what he had heard, they appreciated the support he had lent to the village with his newfound connections, and underneath it all, they seemed to be proud of his accomplishments. After many long talks with Mean and Win about them, Plan thought he understood that letting him leave and follow his passion without comment was their way of supporting him.They were keeping in touch with Mean’s parents through the village teacher now. Furthermore, Win had made a habit of visiting them whenever he went north to see his family in Chiang Mai, and they had basically adopted him as an honorary grandson.Neither of them had had much to say about Plan’s relationship with Mean when it had come out, claiming that it was up to Plan to decide what to do with his life. Though, Plan suspected that they would have been more enthusiastic about it, if he had stayed together with Win. Despite their cordial contact with Mean’s family, they remained wary of rich people, as if deep down they feared that Plan would return heartbroken, like his mother in the past.Most of the news he received from them these days came through others, much like the message Viola had just relayed to him. What he did and where he lived these days, was too much for them to fully comprehend, and it didn’t appear like they tried too hard to change that.“Aww, I have to remember to tell Win to send them my regards, too. It’s nice of them to prepare a wedding gift for you,” he said. “But say, Viola… why do you call Win your dearest future husband even when nobody is listening? Isn’t it just a cover?”She laughed and shrugged.“Because I like to tease him… and he hates it.”“That isn’t very nice,” he said, and reached for the keys in her hand.She pulled her hand away and smiled.“Relax, if he hated it for real, I would stop. Winnie is just such an easy target for teases.”She inserted the key into the keyhole, turned it slowly, and pushed the door open.“My brother could have made worse choices, actually,” she continued, while she turned on the lights and motioned Plan to follow her inside. “Win and I work really well together, as friends and business partners, I mean. I’m confident that together, we’ll be able to pry the company out of my father’s greedy claws, soon.”Plan pushed his suitcase inside and carelessly left it halfway down the entrance corridor, next to the bathroom door, before he let himself drop onto the couch in the living room area. He was too tired to look around and explore the rest of the bungalow.“So…” he said slowly, through the fog that was muddling his brain. “You’re saying that the fake marriage isn’t just to hide and protect your true relationship anymore?”Viola sat down next to him and put her arm over his shoulder in the same casual way she had done with Win earlier.“You could say that,” she agreed. “All credit to Win, though. To be honest, when we started our pretend-dating, I was only focussed on fulfilling my promise to my brother and make it believable to the outside world. Like I did when I was pretending to be Mean’s girl. But Win convinced me that we can both get the most out of this marriage if we work together towards our shared goals. I have a good feeling about this. I’ll finally be with Rosie for real, as officially as I can be, we can all move into our new house together, and the guy I’m marrying is not just a friend. He has proven that he can be an actual partner in what I’m attempting to do time and again in the past few months. He pushed me to act faster than I would ever have dared on my own.”“Have you ever considered, following… you know, us, once your father is no threat to you anymore?”He leaned his head against her shoulder, too worn out from his trip to care that it wasn’t Mean. The six of them had grown into a close-knit group of friends through the commotion of their fight against Black Hand, the fallout from Mean’s and Plan’s coming out, and the countless hours they had spent together at events, or on shared vacations.Particularly after they had all heard each other getting it on in their respective bedrooms on their first trip to the chalet, and Vic subsequently talking all of them into taking a sauna together, there was no unnecessary awkwardness between them anymore.“Not really,” Viola answered calmly. “I’m happy that it works for you, but even if my initial reasons weren’t valid anymore, like, if my family was as accepting as Mean’s and yours, the advantages of our arrangement would outweigh the disadvantages.”She chuckled.“Honestly, sometimes I’m afraid that I’m testing my luck. It feels almost unfair that I get to have it all. I can officially live together with my girlfriend, and still have all the advantages this messed-up society gives to straight couples. Plus, the lives of the four of us are so intertwined, we can fully rely on each other. That’s more than many families in our social circles can say for themselves. My father is proud that Vic and I are such nice, family-oriented children that we even decided to postpone my brother’s wedding, so would could have a joint ceremony and live in a big house together afterwards. He thinks we are trying to live up to the ideal of a true traditional family, like the powerful clans of old. As blind as he is to the truth behind it, I think it is something to be proud of.”That was… fair enough. Mean’s parents had made sure that their children had a good relationship among each other, too, but seeing that family from the inside, Plan had realised that these relationships were mostly built and shaped by the parents – and that the true tests for their bond would come once the parents’ influence faded away.Plan nodded to himself, silently agreeing with Viola’s assessment, while his eyes were falling shut.Before he could get up and look for the bedroom, he had dozed off, leaning against Viola’s shoulder.*~*~*“Tio? Why are you here?”Plan looked at his friend, and then at the black mini van behind him, the kind Mean usually travelled in when he had gigs as a singer. Before he had bought the farm, Tio used to drive them.But that was more than a year ago, and Plan had been happy for Tio to finally be able to follow his dream, instead of playing Mean’s personal assistant like his family wanted him to.So, why was Tio waiting here outside of this hip country club, where the stag night was in full swing inside?“Get in,” Tio said calmly, and gestured towards the van.What was going on?Plan had only excused himself to use the toilet about ten minutes ago, and after he had washed his hands, his phone had vibrated with a message from Mean, telling him to meet him outside.“I- why?”“Shh, we don’t have much time,” Tio said, now less calmly. “Get in, you’ll understand later.”“What, are you kidnapping me or something?”Instead of giving him an answer, Tio grabbed his arm and pulled him into the van. Plan’s heart was beating fast. He had meant it as a joke, but… no, Tio wouldn’t do that.The sliding door closed behind him, and Plan looked up, directly into Mean’s smiling face.“You! What’s going on?”If Plan had hoped to get an answer now, he would have been wrong. Mean grabbed his arm, not unlike Tio had done before, and dragged him to the back of the van. In front, the driver side door opened, Tio climbed in, and started the engine.“Put this on,” Mean said.He held something out to Plan, but only when Mean turned on the overhead light, he recognised it as a… white tuxedo with a black bow tie?“Not until you explain it to me,” he said, folding his arms in front of his chest defiantly.With proper lighting, Plan finally noticed that Mean had already changed out of his party clothes into a black tuxedo.Plan narrowed his eyes.“Did you book an event for us? Why didn’t you tell me? Were you afraid I wouldn’t come if you told me?”“What? No!”There was suddenly a noticeable sign of panic in Mean’s eyes.“That isn’t… it is an event, but a private one, and I wanted to surprise you.”Something about the way Mean stressed the word private made Plan listen up. There was definitely more going on.“Alright, alright,” Mean said, holding up his hands defensively. “If I tell you, will you put it on?”“I suppose.”Mean sighed, and Plan’s mouth fell open as he watched him suddenly go down on his knee in front of him. His boyfriend held open a small jewellery box with… a set of unadorned golden rings, that looked all the more expensive in their simplicity.Plan gasped.“I wanted to make it more romantic than this,” Mean said apologetically, “the others have planned to use the cover of their stag and hen nights to hold a symbolic wedding ceremony for the actual couples, before they get married officially tomorrow. They asked me if we wanted to join, and I wanted to surprise you. So… will you accept me?”This was… Plan needed a moment to process all of this, and let his body drop limply into the seat behind him.“Tio, stop the car!” he shouted, and waited until Tio had found a spot to stop on the narrow hillside road they were driving on.Of course, Plan wanted to stay with Mean.But since it wasn’t possible for them to get legally married in Thailand, anyway, he hadn’t really thought about it. He didn’t like that Mean had sprung this on him without warning, it made him want to run away, like he had always done in the past when he was overwhelmed.But he also didn’t want to run.Not from Mean. There was no reason to.He looked at Mean, taken aback by the visible signs of panic in his face.No, he didn’t want that.He didn’t want…“Yes!” Plan shouted.He took a deep breath.“Okay… let’s do it,” he added, more calmly. “But, don’t ever corner me like this again.”The tension immediately left Mean’s face, and Plan helplessly extended his arms to catch his boyfriend, who was jumping on him like he was afraid he would run off after all.“Thank you,” Mean said almost tonelessly.He buried his face in Plan’s shoulder. It sounded suspiciously like he was sobbing.That wasn’t…“Shhh, Mean,” Plan said, soothingly petting his head. “I want it, too. You know I do. Let’s have a memorable private ceremony with the others. It is a good surprise, you know. I’m really happy… I was just overwhelmed just now.”“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Mean said, his voice trembling slightly. “Win made it sound so easy.”“It’s okay.”Plan smiled to himself. He should have known that this was Win’s idea. Win had always been too forward for him. But somehow, when Mean did it, he could accept it.The more it started to sink in, the more he liked the idea of making it official between Mean and him, at least symbolically, just among themselves and their closest friends. He might have been a bit too abrupt with his proposal, but at least Mean knew and respected him enough not to put him through a public wedding ceremony, like the one they would be attending tomorrow.If they did this now, in the future, whenever people would ask them about wedding plans, he could hold up his hand, point at the ring and tell them it had already happened.That was a comforting thought.“Why don’t you give me that tuxedo, so I can get changed? I wouldn’t want to look shabby next to you.”Mean lifted his head and beamed at him through teary eyes.“Right away!” he then shouted and scrambled up to grab the tuxedo again.While Mean helped Plan change, Tio climbed out of the van and told them to call him when they were ready to drive on. Plan was grateful that Mean had understood his hint, at least, and let him get fully prepared before they continued their trip.Even if it was just their friends, if this was supposed to count as their wedding, he’d better look good.“Why did you give me the white one?”Mean shrugged.“I think you look criminally hot in white,” he answered. “But if you hate it, we can switch. I don’t mind.”Before Mean could reach for the hanger with the remaining pieces, and take it away from him, Plan pulled it out of reach.“Don’t you dare!” he said. “If you say it looks too hot to handle, I want to wear it for you.”“I love you,” Mean said and pursed his lips to throw him a kiss.The honest smile that followed this statement made Plan go soft and mushy inside. He couldn’t wait to get into the tuxedo, and continue to the location of the secret triple wedding.He needed to have that ring on his finger, soon, too. It felt like something was missing, that had never been there in the first place.“Ah…” Plan turned to Mean, halfway through changing clothes. “I just realised… tell me honestly: is this why you came back so late on our first day? To prepare for this? I was starting to worry you had someone else.”He hadn’t really been worried, of course.Plan was sure that Mean wouldn’t cheat on him. Their relationship had survived both being long-distance across continents for half a year, and living together in a comparatively small apartment far away from home – if either of them hadn’t wanted to stay, he would already have left.At his core, when it came to relationships, Mean was steady and loyal, Plan knew that well enough. Plan appreciated that Mean wasn’t big on drama or hesitant in his attachments. He was reluctant to become friends with people, even though he had a long list of acquaintances he liked to hang out with. None of these people got to really see behind his public persona. However, once you made it into his inner circle, he wouldn’t break with you unless there was no way to fix it.There could be no better boyfriend for Plan.“Ha!” Mean smirked at him, eyes sparkling with glee. “You dare to say that, after I caught you sleeping with Viola that night?”Plan laughed.“Oh, come on, I wasn’t sleeping with her, I was just sleeping on her-”“Like that makes it better!”Mean grinned as he said it.It felt good, Plan decided, having silly mock arguments, while preparing for their symbolic wedding.It was much better than getting nervous over it.“On her shoulder! Let me finish before you accuse me!”Plan had finally put on all the pieces of the tuxedo and nodded towards the make-up case, silently asking Mean to help him with that, too. He usually hated wearing make-up just as much as he hated wearing formal wear, but he hated looking bad in pictures even more.“I thought you didn’t like girls, and now Viola. How could you betray me like this,” Mean said, while he opened the make-up case and motioned Plan to sit up properly so he could get to work.“Yeah, do you want me to prove to you how much I’m not into girls?”For a moment, it looked like Mean was leaning in to steal a kiss… maybe Plan would have wanted him to. But then, Mean simply continued to apply make-up, as if he hadn’t heard it at all.It was frustrating.“Don’t you?” Plan insisted.Ah, that smirk always killed him… why did Mean have to smirk like that?It wasn’t fair!“Later,” Mean said in a hushed whisper, so close to Plan’s neck that it sent shivers down his spine.He groaned.“You’re such a tease!”Plan knew that if he didn’t grab onto the seat, he would not be able to control himself, and pull Mean into such an intense kiss that all of his efforts on the make-up would be in vain.And still… it was tempting.Mean’s behaviour wasn’t helping at all, either: he had moved in noticeably closer than before, while he innocently continued to apply make-up to Plan’s face. A breath here, a seemingly accidental touch there, too well-aimed not to be very deliberate.Plan shivered.There was nothing he could do, but close his eyes, grip onto the seat until his knuckles went white and urgently think of unappetising things in a futile attempt to calm himself. No matter how long they had been dating already, Mean getting so close to him never failed to work him up.On the contrary, the better Mean had gotten to know him, the easier it was for him to push Plan’s buttons with a precision fitting of an engineer.“I swear, if you don’t stop, you make me ruin the tuxedo!” Plan shouted through heavy breaths.Of course, Mean didn’t back off at all. Instead, he started to slowly grind against him, not even trying to mask his intentions anymore.“We wouldn’t want that,” Mean said, so close to Plan’s ear that it made him groan again. “You’ll just have to hold it in.”“No, please!”Nothing else mattered anymore: that they were on the way to their wedding; that Tio was waiting outside of the van for them; that begging was embarrassing.“Please… what? You have to tell me what you want, honey, or I can’t help you.”Plan swallowed.“Please, don’t make me ruin the tuxedo!”“What? Should I get you an ice pack, my poor future husband?”Memories flooded Plan’s mind: Preparations for past events he had to attend with Mean, when he had been so nervous about facing the crowds that Mean had distracted him, not unlike now.Sometimes, when Plan was lucky, Mean would quickly rub or suck him off, and leave him flushed, but content enough to get through the event unscathed.And sometimes, when he was really lucky, Plan was given the worst and best times all rolled into one.In these instances, Mean only edged him until he was frustrated, before he would cruelly make him cool himself down with an ice pack, and force him to go through the event like this, desperately longing for more.That was the worst part of it, uncannily effective though it was in making him forget his nerves about the eventBut afterwards, Mean would always allow him to take him in any way he wanted, as much as he needed. All the pent-up frustration would make these instances hotter than anything else they had ever experienced together.This knowledge about the merits of delayed gratification felt useless in this moment, though, as it always did at the start.“No, please! Not ice! You’re so mean!”Plan felt Mean’s hand under his chin and shivered as he nudged his head up until their gazes met. The intensity in his eyes could almost be enough for Plan to cream his pants like a teenager… if he hadn’t learned how to control himself, he probably would have.“I could give you that, of course,” Mean said, smirking. “I could go down on you right now, and make sure nothing stains your pristine white tuxedo.”He licked his lips, and Plan wanted to shout at him to stop playing and do it already; but something about the way Mean looked at him made him swallow his words.“Or,” Mean continued, carelessly lifting his thumb to run over Plan’s lips. “You accept the ice pack, and I’ll give you the best wedding night you can dream of, later.”“Fine!” Plan blurted out. “Fine! Get it! Get the ice! Now!”Mean looked very smug, while he slowly climbed off of him, and went over to open a cool box under the clothes rack. Plan hadn’t even noticed it was there before.When he returned with an ice pack, Mean’s smile had softened, and he carefully helped Plan open his trousers and use the ice without getting the clothes wet.Plan exhaled.This guy would one day be the death of him. How was he supposed to get through the rest of the evening, with such a promise at the end of it?“Can you kiss me, at least, before you touch up on the make-up?” he asked meekly, once his body had come down from the unfulfilled arousal.Thankfully, his boyfriend… future husband, wasn’t cruel enough not to give him that, at least.*~*~*“Do you think they’re coming?” Vic asked Win nervously.The two of them had been waiting on a comfortable bench in front of the campfire that they had prepared on a secluded hilltop not too far from Tio’s farm. A bit further downhill, they had erected a pavilion with a festively decorated table, and boxes of food just waiting to be enjoyed by their small private wedding party.But neither the other guys, nor the girls, had turned up, yet, and Vic was starting to question whether it had been such a clever idea to keep both his sister and Mean’s boyfriend in the dark.What if either of them didn’t agree to the plan?“Don’t worry,” Win said. Vic gratefully leaned deeper into his true fiancé’s warm embrace. “Tio texted me that the guys are on the way. Plan said yes, but you know how they are, they can’t look anything less than perfect for such an occasion.”Vic listened up.“You think they look perfect?” he asked. “Did you get second thoughts? Do you want to marry one of them instead?”Win chuckled, and Vic happily allowed him to pull him into a tighter hold.“Neither of them is strong enough to give me much of a challenge,” Win said confidently. “Who are you to think they could replace you?”And that was why Win was the only one for him.Vic smiled to himself.He remembered his wild days, when he had felt restless, always chasing after a new guy, never satisfied. Back then, he had been sure that his sister would have to stay single her whole life, or choose some other guy as a beard for herself, because no guy had ever managed to truly capture Vic’s heart.In hindsight, he knew that he had been looking for the wrong thing the entire time. He had gone around trying to conquer people, not knowing that deep down, he had wished for someone to conquer him instead.Until Win had done just that.He liked the balance they had found.Win was young and optimistic; he knew what he wanted and was not afraid to chase after his dreams. It vitalised Vic every time he was caught up in doubts.But Win had also always respected Vic’s experience, and listened to him when he was better placed to guide him. Nobody could make him feel more valued and truly needed than Win.For example, when Win had asked for help with his start-up.Now, Win wasn’t just a successful badminton player, training for the upcoming Olympics, but the proud CEO of his own sports performance analysis company, whose technology was used by several national teams in different disciplines around the world.Vic couldn’t be prouder of his man.“Sweet talker,” he said, smiling gently.He couldn’t deny that hearing Win praise him still always made his heart jump. People could make fun of him for being whipped for Win all they wanted; it didn’t change the fact that it was absolutely true.“So,” he said when he finally remembered the original topic of their conversation, “what about the girls? Where are they?”Win shrugged.“Maybe you should check if your fiancée has written to you.”“I only have one real fiancé,” Vic protested.Win laughed.“Maybe, but that one doesn’t know where the girls are, so… check if you have heard anything from Rose.”There was nothing Vic could say against that. Without getting out of Win’s comforting embrace, he fished his phone out of the bag at his feet, and checked his messages.“She writes that they were held up by their hen night girls, but they are on the way now,” he said, after reading Rose’s update.“See?” Win smiled. “Nothing to worry about. They’ll all be there soon. And… I don’t mind having this incredible night sky all for ourselves for a while. I have rarely seen the stars shine so brightly since I moved south.”Vic looked up and silently nodded. The stars looked stunning tonight. And Win’s face looked even better in the warm flickering light of the campfire.Maybe they shouldn’t have invited the other couples…Hopefully, there would be plenty more occasions in the future to get away with Win alone, and enjoy views like this.“You know, I used to watch the stars from our school director’s garden with Plan, back when we were dating,” Win said.Vic nudged him with his elbow.“You really want to make me jealous today, don’t you?”“Stop it,” Win said, snickering. “I told you: Plan is no competition for you. Besides, I don’t think we’d be compatible.”Vic turned his head to look at Win and shook his head. Of course, he knew that Win wouldn’t want to go back to Plan – not to mention that Mean would kill him before he’d let him take Plan back.“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Vic answered. “I think Plan is more like me than you in that respect, he’d be happy to go along with whatever his partner wants.”To his surprise, Win nudged him back with his elbow, too.“I know that,” Win protested. “I heard them doing it, too. We were together, remember? I’m saying Plan wouldn’t be compatible with me, because he isn’t as robust as you. I’d always be scared to break him.”Vic smiled to himself. It felt good, knowing that Win could let himself go with him, and knowing how hot it was, to get taken by your totally uninhibited fiancé until you were all fucked out and happy.“What about Mean, then?”Win’s face looked so scandalised at first, that Vic feared he might have overstepped something.But then, Win fell back into his usual grin and Vic relaxed.“Do you really want to talk about my compatibility with other guys on our wedding day?”There was that, of course.Vic chuckled.“When else should I ask that? Now is the last chance.”“Cold feet?”Vic stretched his legs towards the fire, as if he had literally cold feet, and shook his head.“Of course not,” he said. “Never.”He leaned up to place a hearty peck on his fiancé’s cheek.“I’m still curious. If you hadn’t met me, and Plan wasn’t in the picture… what about Mean?”Win took so long to consider it, that Vic started to feel the cool breeze acutely, that blowing up from the plain below.He shivered.The wind had been a welcome relief from the heat of the day at first, but now he was grateful for his suit jacket, and Win’s comfortably warm body next to him.“He might be compatible with me,” Win finally conceded. “But he would still not be able to match you. Mean is competitive alright, but he lacks ambition and tenacity. Just look at how much he needed to be pushed to go after a boy at all. Or think about his position in his family. I don’t say he should try to go against his parents’ wishes and get into the company if he isn’t interested, but even if he was unhappy with where he is at, I don’t think he’d have the guts to go against them, the way you and your sister do. So… I think I’d be fed up with him pretty quickly.”With a smile, Win leaned down and kissed Vic’s front.It nearly melted him on the spot.“As you can see… there is nobody else for me,” Win concluded.In the distance, the noise of a car could be heard, rapidly approaching their location. And as it drew nearer, and the headlights came into view, Vic realised that it wasn’t just one car, but two.“Let’s go down to the pavilion and meet them,” Vic said, and pulled Win up with him as he stood up.*~*~*To an unsuspecting onlooker, the scene around the campfire would probably appear strange, Plan thought.They were three couples sitting on benches around the fire in their finest attire, and in front of them stood a guy wearing a wide-rimmed ranger hat, like a character out of an Indiana Jones movie.On the last leg of their journey up the hill, Plan had learned that Tio had offered to come up with a ritual for them to confirm their eternal bond together – not just for each couple, but also the friendship between all of them.Now, they were holding burning incense sticks between their palms, eyes closed, and listened to Tio reading out the promises they wanted to make to each other, and the good wishes the wanted to give the others.The scent of incense mixed with the smoke of the campfire reminded Plan of home, of the small temple outside of the village, where they went to pray for good harvests, or have their fortunes read when they were in doubt about something.He smiled to himself, while he let his mind wander, under the soft murmur of Tio’s voice, and the cool wind brushing over his skin.Amidst all the comforting memories of home, he also felt the heat of Mean’s thigh, pressed against his. With that connection grew the reminders of their first night out alone together, under the stars, on a camping spot not unlike the one they found themselves in now.It was good. It felt right.Plan was glad that he had agreed to do this with Mean. He wouldn’t find a better partner, and the longer he sat there, the calmer and safer he felt next to him.The six of them had made their choice for the future, and they were here together to confirm it under the starlight, and the infinite wonders of the universe all around them.He flinched, when Mean nudged him out of his trance, and Tio had stopped talking.Mean was holding a log and looked at him expectantly.A quick glance at the others showed him what to do: each of the couples was holding a log between them, so, he should do the same with the one in Mean’s hand.As soon as Plan was ready, Tio told them to make one special promise to each other, and put the log onto the fire to send it out into the world. Then, he gave each of them another log, and asked them to make a special wish for the others around the fire, and add it to the promise.By the time they were finished, Plan felt solemnly calm, happy, and oddly connected to the others, their promises and good wishes.“You should go down to the pavilion to exchange your rings, I think it’s too dark up here for that, I’ll guard the fire for you,” Tio said, gesturing towards the short path down.Plan smiled at him. He didn’t know if Tio was aware that he had included him in his wish for strong friendship, that would endure through good times and bad. They wouldn’t be here without his support, and Plan hoped that he would be able to give something back to him, now that he was finally following his own dream with his farm.While Tio sat down and looked contently into the fire, Plan held out his hand to Mean.Their future was waiting for them.THE END