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Richie and Bill Chat:Chill Bill: Hey Dickface, can you and eddie quit making out now, it's kind of distracting.
Demon: Dude just look up a few inches
Chill Bill: I came here to watch a movie, not you and eddie sucking face.
Demon: It’s ur fault you chose this movie
Chill Bill: you bought tickets after me dipshit now stop
Demon: Eddie is telling me to put my phone away so we can keep making out, I wonder who I’ll listen to
(Demon left the chat)Bill and Mike chat:Perfect Bill: Richie and Eddie wont stop kissing, it’s running the movie.
Angel Mike: Yeah those two are into some weird shit, I mean its the re-release of home alone.
Perfect Bill: yeah, but then again when are they not making out
Angel Mike: true, but I dont really mind, they are in love after all
Perfect Bill: and they are behind you.
Angel Mike: again true.
Perfect Bill: anyway, you wanna hang at my place after, I’m gonna ask the rest of the losers
Angel Mike: Sure, sounds good
Perfect Bill: great
Angel Mike: Well, stay strong my beloved Bill
Perfect Bill: I’ll try.
(Perfect Bill left the chat)The Losers group chat:Billy Boy: Do you guys wanna come over to my place?
Molly Ringwald: Sounds great babe.
Haystack: Sure, but I can't stay to late, I have to do my homework
Molly Ringwald: The homework due in four days, ben it can wait.
Billy Boy: you know how he is about history bev.
Haystack: Bills right.
Billy Boy: Aren't I always?
Trashmouth: sorry boys eddie and I are going to stay home
Eds: I want to go.
Molly Ringwald: sorry Rich, he’s with us.
Trashmouth: wherever my sweet spaghetti goes, I go.and bonus yall get to see us making out the whole night
Stanny the manny: then I simply must go! There is no question.
Eds: *sighs*
Billy boy: great, we’re all in then
Molly Ringwald: What about Mike?
Billy boy: I checked with him, he’s coming.
Molly Ringwald: Oh and also, who let richie choose our names in this chat.
Trashmouth: It’s kinda my thing
Haystack: He does it in every chat and they're all equally as offensive.
Billy Boy: anyway, see you losers at my place.
Molly Ringwald: Ok Bill.
Haystack: Yeah, see you there.Stan and Mike chat:Loser Stan: isn't this going to be awkward
Lover Mike: what?
Loser Stan: Us
Lover Mike: Why?
Loser Stan: because we haven't told them about us dumbass
Lover Mike: Ohhhhhhh yeah right. We could just tell them then.
Loser Stan: WHAT NO!!!
Lover Mike: Now you use punctuation.
Loser Stan: anyway, we just can't.
Lover Mike: We can't hide it forever stanny
Loser Stan: I know, just a little longer?
Lover Mike: Sure, just promise me at some point we won't have to hide it.
Loser Stan: I promise, just until i'm out.
Lover Mike: sure, ya
Loser Stan: Sorry Mike.
Lover Mike: It’s all good babe
(Loser Stan left the chat)Bill and Mike chat:Angel Mike: HeLp me Bill!
Perfect Bill: Whats up maytee?
Angel Mike: you cannot tell anyone what I told you about stan and I.
Perfect Bill: Oh my god, I’m so sorry but Bev knows too.
Angel Mike: What!? Who told her!?
Perfect Bill: Richie, you know how he is with bev.
Angel Mike: WHO TOLD RICHIE!!!
Perfect Bill: you’ll have to ask him that mate.
Angel Mike: and what's with you and ‘mate’ today?
Perfect Bill: does it matter? And why are you freaking out about this?
Angel Mike: Stan told me not to tell anyone tonight, but I already had.
Perfect Bill: Mehga oof mate.
Angel Mike: I know, I’m surprised he hasn't dumped me yet.
Perfect Bill: Don’t say that.
Angel Mike: I know, I know but honestly why did he choose me?
Perfect Bill: How would I know.
Angel Mike: Dude, you usually give perfect advice but this is not one of those times
Perfect Bill: Sorry, I’m a bit distracted
Angel Mike: how come?
Perfect Bill: Incase you forgot, you all are coming over in 10 minutes and my house is a MESS
Angel Mike: Why are you lying Bill?
Perfect Bill: Fine, Bev’s over.
Angel Mike: OOOOOOOOOOH, ok then I’ll leave you to it, see you in 10.
(Angel Mike left the chat)
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Mike and Will Chat:Mikey: hey, wahts the chem hw?Willy: pages 16-32 in out textbook.Willy: oh and are you going to the dance?Mikey: I wasent planning to, why?Willy: would you like to go with me my dear Frogface?Mikey: It would be my plesure Zombie BoyWilly: I’ll pick you up around 7 tmrw then.Mikey: K.The Party Group chat:Zoomer: Whats the chem hwCleric: Gosh, did nobody listen to Ms. Farwald? Its pages 16-32 in out textbookPaladin: Yeah, I’m sure we were all asleep by then.Ranger: You all are idiots, idiots with detention, she marks down who falls asleepZoomer: It’s sad how often it happens and to how many peopleBard: I just can’t help it, it’s the last class of the day and she talks so S L O W L YCleric: Max’s right it is sad.Mage: Can you guys please shut up.Zoomer: Ok, sure fine.Mike and Will Chat:Willy: I’m outside.Mikey: Ok, on my way down.Mike and dustin chat:Miko the psycho: Dude he’s here.Dusty: Wait, Stan is at the dance?Miko the psycho: Dude, get here now and ask him to dance before Mike H. does!Dusty: What about Mike H. he’s way hotter than me, I don’t stand a chance.Miko the psycho: you might now but you wont if you dont GET HERE NOW!Dusty: Ok, ok, im grabbing my shoes and I’ll be on my way, chill out.(Dusty left the chat)Lucas and Dustin chat:Lukey: Is max there yet?Dusto: Yes, but I have to go now, I’m gonna ask stan to danceLukey: wait cute stan from chem?Dusto: Yes, now leave me alone.Lukey: Ok, fine, bye.Mike and Dustin chat:Dusty: he said no, he’s there with someone else.Miko the psycho: Who?Dusty: he dident say, but probably Mike, anyone could tell those two are together, anyone but me.Mike the psycho: Don’t say that dude.Dusty: Mike, I’m going home.(Dusty left the chat)
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Stan and Mike chat:Loser Stan: That loser dustin from chem asked me to dance, get here.Lover Mike: Geez, I thought you weren’t ready to tell pplLoser Stan: I’m not, just get here, I miss you.Lover Mike: Screenshotted that and made it my wallpaper.Loser Stan: You’re too much Mike Hanlon.(Loser Stan left the chat)Richie and Eddie chat:Eddie Spaghetti: Where are you? You were supposed to pick me up an hour ago.Bichie: Beauty takes time Eds.Eddie Spaghetti: Do I care? No. just get here now.Bichie: fineee i’m on my wayyyyEddie Spaghetti: thank u.Bichie: Next.Eddie Spaghetti: Sometimes I jus can’t with you.(Eddie Spaghetti left the chat)The Losers Club chat:Trashmouth: are all of yall at the dance but me?Gunner: no, I’m not, stan’s begging me to head overStanny the Manny: MIKE!Gunner: Oh, shit, sorryTrashmouth: do tell.Stanny the Manny: do not.Gunner: sorry Rich, I am forever vowed to silence.Trashmouth: oh this is about you two being together right?Stanny the Manny: ON THE GROUP CHAT RICHIE!?Eds: oh calm down stan, we all know.Stanny the Manny: HoW?!Eds: We have eyes… and ears… and a Richie.Stanny the Manny: BeEp, BeEp, RiChIe!Eds: yes beep, beepTrashmouth: would you guys please stop.Gunner: and richie who told you?Trashmouth: Stan.Stanny the Manny: I told you nothing asshatTrashmouth: Just watching you two was grossGunner: Beep fucking beep richie.Molly Ringwald: would you plz shut the fuck up guys, some of us are trying to slow dance.Billy Boy: she’s right, stop guysTrashmouth: shut up and bang alreadyMolly Ringwald: That was the plan.Bill: *Winking emoji*Eds: gross.Trashmouth: Eddie, you know we have the same plan, don’t act so innocent.Eds: stop RichStanny the Manny: now it’s my turn, gross.Molly Ringwald: ok, now shush.Richie and Eddie chat:Bichie: dude, I’m out front.Eddie spaghetti: I’m at the dance, I got a ride with mikeBichie: trator.(Bichie changed Eddie spaghetti’s name to trator Eds)Trator Eds: seriously?(Trator Eds changed Bichie’s name to Late Rich)Late Rich: It just doesn't have that ring to it Eds.Trator Eds: LEAVE IT AND GET HERE!Late Rich: Geez im on my wayTrator Eds: don't text and drive, love ya bye!(trator eds left the chat)The losers club chatTrashmouth: LAST NIGHT WAS AWESOME!!!Eds: Im going to have a hangover for monthsGunner: I agreeGunner: WITH RICHIE!!!! It was awesome.Eds: ya’ll are unbareable idiots.Eds: but you’re my idiots, I love you guys.
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Unknown and Mike:Unknown: hey Mike, I was checking that you did the hw. I know you usually don’t and our group kind of depends on it.Mike: wait, who is this again?Unknown: Eddie, your over-controlling group partner, see above.Mike: ahahahahah, changing your contact now kaspbrak.(Mike changed unknown’s name to Kaspbrak)Kaspbrak: nice touch wheeler.(Kaspbrak changed Mike’s name to Wheeler)Wheeler: I see a theme hereKaspbrak: yes, but did you do the homework?Wheeler: Guess.Kaspbrak: Yes? *crosses fingers*Wheeler: no.Kaspbrak: well, you know what time it is then!!!Wheeler: 8:53? *crosses fingers*Kaspbrak: No, HOMEWORK TIME!!!Wheeler: how fun.Kaspbrak: K, now go do it.Wheeler: K(Kaspbrak left the chat)Dustin and Mike:Dusty: Dude, we’re going to the arcade, what's ur haul?Miko the psycho: Nothing, I’m not coming.Dusty: Dude, why?Miko the Psycho: I have homework, if I don’t do it Eddie will kill me.Dusty: you mean your 4-year crush Eddie?Miko the Psycho: that's the one, I mean at least now I have his number.Dusty: It took you long enoughDusty: wait that's not Important now, what's Important is that you’re choosing homework over your friends.Miko the psycho: bye dude, see you at school tmrwDusty: Fine trator. But one last thing…(Dusty changed Miko the psycho’s name to nerd)Nerd: oh my god, bye dustin(Nerd left the chat)Eddie and Mike chat:Kaspbrak: you’re not doing it are you?Wheeler: I am now, and this isn’t helping.Kaspbrak: Actually it is because you were not doing your homework before I texted you, and now you are, therefore, I’m helping.Wheeler: K fine EddoKaspbrak: Oh, actually It’s Eddie! A lot of people actually mess it up!Wheeler: sarcastic much?Kaspbrak: always.(Kaspbrak left the chat)
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Eddie and Richie chat:
Trator eds: Can I come over, my mom’s being a bitch again and I need somewhere to go.
Late Rich: Sure, anytime my sweet spaghetti.
Trator Eds: good, because I’m already on your porch.
Late Rich: god I love my smol boy!
Trator Eds: stop or I will turn around.
Late Rich: fine, come in, it's always open.
Trator Eds: too much netflix for you Richo.
Late Rich: there is no such thing!
Trator Eds: whatever, now let me in asshole.
Late Rich: chill out, I’m on my way.
(late Rich left the chat)Beverly and Bill chat:
Bill Babe: Do you wanna see a movie without Eddie and Rich infront of us tonight?
Baby Bev: sounds amazing.
Bill Babe: Great!
Baby Bev: can I invite Stan and Mike, they are the only couple who don’t make out in public.
Bill Babe: Yea, sure. But it wont stay that way for long, they’re only like that bc stan has not come out.
Baby Bev: yeah.
Bill Babe: yeah.
Baby Bev: K call me when it's time to go the the movies.
Bill Babe: alrighty mate.
Baby Bev: I’m just gonna leave before this gets worse.Stan and Dustin chat:
Stan: hey dude, I’m sorry for rejecting you last week.
Dustin: What are you expecting me to say stan?
Stan: I don’t know, I guess I just needed clearance
Dustin: you get clearance, I get more hurt.
Stan: what, no
Dustin: there's no point to this, I’m leaving.
Stan: No wait, do you want to get dinner sometime?
Dustin: no.
Stan: ok, good, Mike would have killed me.
Dustin: you know stan, you’re a real dick, has anyone ever told you that?
Stan: Fuck you
(Dustin changed Stan’s name to Dickface)
Dickface: not cool.
Dustin: that was sort of the point.
(Dustin left the chat)The losers club chat:
Gunner: Truth or dare, Im bored
Molly Ringwald: Truth
Gunner: who was your first crush?
Molly Ringwald: Oh no.
Gunner: ooooooooooo
Molly Ringwald: Um, it was Richie.
Trashmouth: I heard my name.
Trashmouth: WHAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
Trashmouth: thats number four!
Molly Ringwald: Um what?
Trashmouth: Eddie, Stan, Ms. K and now you.
Eds: for the record my mother never liked you and… well that’s it.
Molly Ringwald: who was yours Mike?
Gunner: Bill, dont tell.
Billy boy: this is a group chat asshat, and thank you. I am clearly irresistible.
Eds: who was yours Bill?
Billy boy: I’d rather not say
Gunner: we said ours
Billy Boy: fine, stan.
Molly Ringwald: you’re GAY!?!?!?!?!?!
Billy Boy: I believe the correct term is Bisexual.
Trashmouth: Twinzies!
Eds: dont worry bev, hes probably 10, 90
Molly Ringwald: what is that supposed to mean?
Billy Boy: that I’m about as gay as Ms. K
Stanny the Manny: thats not saying much.
Eds: WHY DOES MY MOTHER KEEP COMING UP HERE!?!?!
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The Party Chat:
Bard: when.you.read.things.like.this.in.your.head.you.pause.at.each.period.
Zoomer: why did you waste a full minute writing that
Bard:Actually It took two minutes.
Paladin: Guys, if you’re going to talk about something stupid, use a private chat, not all of this need to hear your shit.
Zoomer: woke up on the wrong side of the bed mate?
Paladin: try woke up on the wrong side of the floor, my back is killing me.
Cleric: you can come over if you want.
Paladin: sorry will, I’m going over to Eddie’s to do some group project crap.
Cleric: oh, ok.Mike and Eddie chat:
Wheeler: I’m here
Kaspbrak: k cool, come right in.
(Kaspbrak left the chat)Will and Richie chat:
Zombie Boy: are you worried about eddie and mike
Four-Eyes: What do you mean
Zombie Boy: I mean he’s about to ditch your tourettes-ass and sleep with fucking Mike.
Four-Eyes: Ok, who is this. This is not cool.
Zombie Boy: Ok, look I’m sorry, I’m just really scared, I can't lose mike. He was the only one who helped me through this. I’m really sorry, this is really not like me at all.
Four-Eyes: Its fine, I’ll go check it out.
Zombie Boy: Thanks.
(Four-Eyes Left the chat)Beverly and Richie chat:
Beast: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Beauty: what happened
Beast: I SAW EDDIE AND FUCKING MIKE W MAKING OUT
Beauty: but you and eddie are like… you know
Beast: not anymore.
Beauty: why aren't you talking to Bill about this?
Beast: I love Bill but he’s not a girl, and I kind of need girl’s advice.
(Beauty changed Beast’s name to Dipshit)
Beauty: I mean he’s pretty close…
Beauty: Wait, not the point… go on.
Dipshit: ahahahahahahahahaha BUT SERIOUSLY HELP!!!
Beauty: you should talk to him.
Dipshit: I’m going to have to pretty soon, I’m stuck in his tree.
Beauty: Oh my god richie, you need a babysitter.
Dipshit: I’ve never had to get down his tree before, and I really, like REALLY need to pee.
Beauty: TMI dude, now you really need to go talk to bill.
Dipshit: HeLp BeVvIe.
Beauty: ahahahahaah it looks like you wrote bevle.
Beauty: right again, not the point.
Dipshit: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he saw me.
Dipshit: A N D S O D I D M I K E.
Beauty: Jump.
Dipshit: are you kidding me asshatt? Its like 40 feet high.
Beauty: ur exaggerating
Beauty: NOT THE POINT!!! AHHHGGGH
(Dipshit left the chat) (Note: heyyyyyyyy guyyyyyysssss It's my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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Richie and Eddie chat:Late Rich: these chate names seem even more appropriate. Late richie bc Mike got there first and Trator Eds because... you know why.Trator Eds: don’t text here anymore rich.Late Rich: WHy not, you afraid you’ll miss me?Trator Eds: No, because we’re over.Late Rich: Eddie…Late Rich: you know what this will do to me.Trator Eds: don't use your disabilities as an excuse.Late Rich: Eddie You’re all I have.Trator Eds: you dramatic ass, don’t even try.Late Rich: Eddie, please.(Trator Eds Blocked you.)(2 days later)The Losers Cub chat:Eds: Guys, I can’t find RichieMolly Ringwald: What!? Fuck, eddie this is all your fault.Stanny the Manny: what, why is this his faultMolly Ringwald: he cheated on Richie.Stanny the Manny: I thought you guys were in love.Eds: Richie nearly killed Mike!Eds: I did what I had to do.Gunner: You killed Richie!!!?!?Eds: Im afraid that I wasn't the one to do that.Molly Ringwald: Eddie, he’s not dead. We just have to find him.Eds: guys, he has tourettes and depression, he can’t fully control his actionsBeverly and Richie chat:Beauty: Richie?Beauty: you there?Beauty: beep beep you asshole, answer right now.Beauty: If you don't answer right now I swear.Stan and Richie chat:Stan the Man: Dude, where are youStan the Man: why arnt you answeringStan the Man: dude, we’re all really worriedEddie and Richie chat:Trator Eds: Im so sorry RichTrator Eds: please come back.Trator Eds: I love you, I should not have gotten so mad at you, you were protecting me.Trator Eds: I called myself a loser before I lost anything, but then I felt what it felt like to lose something, when I lost my freedom, that felt terrible, I cant even imagine what the pain would be like to lose you too.Trator Eds: Cmon rich, I wrote a damn speech.Trator Eds: Beep Beep Rich, Love you, plz come backBen and Richie:Fatboy: Richie, come backBill and Richie chat:Big Bill: Come back asshole.Big Bill: Dude, we all miss you and are really worried.Big Bill: please come back.Mike and Richy chat:Gay: Come home dickGay: come home plz we all miss you.The losers club chat:Eds: where is Richie?
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Mike W. and Richie chat:
Rich the Bitch: dude, I’m really sorry but can I stay at your place for the night.
Cool Mike: um, no.
Cool Mike: and why anyway
Rich the Bitch: I ran away
Rich the Bitch: all my friends think im dead
Cool Mike: wow. Why?
Rich the Bitch: Eddie broke up with me, he was all I had, he was literally my world.
Cool Mike: I’m sorry rich.
Cool Mike: I’m sure I can convince a certain cousin of yours to let you stay a few nights
Rich the Bitch: ReAlLy!?!?
Cool Mike: yeah, just get your ass over here now before my mom gets home.
Rich the bitch: Im on my way amigo.
(Rich the Bitch left the chat)Mike W. and Eddie chat:
Wheeler: don’t tell anyone, Richie’s at my place.
Kaspbrak: He is! Ohmygod he’s not dead!?
Wheeler: No, but he’s in bad shape.
Wheeler: Don’t try to contact him.
Kaspbrak: Why?
Wheeler: he needs space, and quite frankly so do I.
(Wheeler left the chat)The losers club chat minus richie------Is Richie Dead? Chat:
Depressed Eddie: He’s alive.
Concerned Bev: Really! Jesus Fuck, thank god all that shit, I thought I lost my bridesmaid!
Worried Stan: Not the point beverly.
Crying Mike: HE’S ALIVE!!! OHMYGOD!!! That asshole, he just left us!
Blue Ben: Guys, just think logically Richie would have never actually killed himself, he has us, no offence Eddie, but you’re not the only person Richie cares about.
Sad Bill: It’s great and all that Rich is alive but ben’s right…
Sad Bill: AND GEORGIE GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!
Concerned Bev: Really Who?
Sad Bill: Some girl from his school named holly.
(Depressed Eddie changed Sad Bill’s name to Insensitive Bill)
Insensitive Bill: What was that for?
Depressed Eddie: it’s true, we all thought Richie killed himself and you’re more worried about your brother’s love life.
Blue Ben: He has a point.
Concerned Bev: Okay you two, back off. And Eddie, just because your boyfriend dissapired for a few days doesn't give you a reason to fight us and push us away.
Depressed Eddie: u sure?
Crying Mike: guys, chill
Depressed Eddie: No guys, don’t chill. Richie almost died and none of you care.
Concerned Bev: First of all, Richie ran away, he didn't ‘almost die’ and second of all, we do care, do you see the names in this chat? All the proof you need of us caring is right in front of you, just scroll up in the damn chat Eddie!
(Depressed Eddie left the chat)Eddie and Mike chat:
Kaspbrak: Can I come see Richie?
Wheeler: He left, as soon as he woke up this morning, said he was leaving derry.
Kaspbrak: and you didn't call me?!?!?
Wheeler: he said not to, that It would just make this so much harder if he had to say goodbye
Kaspbrak: did he say he was going to his house first?
Wheeler: yeah, I think so.
Kaspbrak: cool, that buys me some time…
(Kasprak left the chat)
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Bill and Richie chat:Billiam: Come back asshole now.Billiam: Eddie’s about to leave looking for you.Richard: He’s not going to find me and doing this is not going to bring me back(Richard left the chat)Bev and Richie chat:Beauty: Richie?Dipshit: Yeah, I’m hereBeauty: Took ya long enough! Look, I can’t find Eddie, none of us can. We think he went after you, now dickface you need to tell us where (and why) the hell are you going.Dipshit: Beverly, please just let me go, there is nothing left for me in Derry now that I’ve lost Eddie.Beauty: ExCuSe YoU MiStEr! All the losers are here and so is Eddie (Sends screenshots of Is Richie Dead chat)Dipshit: You guys thought I was dead!??!?!Beauty: this name seems even more suitable now, just think about it, you have depression and you can't really control what you say or do…Dipshit: Oh shit guys, I’m really fucking sorry.Beauty: yeah, fuck you asshole.Dipshit: I can’t believe I did that to you guys.Beauty: Just come back and undo it then, I promise you Eddie wants you back, but you going through with this is just making it worse.Dipshit: you know I can’t come back bevBeauty: Why not?Dipshit: Just can’t.(Dipshit left the chat)Eddie and Bev chat:Bevvie: He’s not coming back, I asked. But then again, I’m not the one he would come back for Eds: No, I’m not texting Richie, he’ll know I’m comingBevvie: He already does.Bevvie: Sorry.Eds: What! How!?Bevvie: not Important now, just text him and tell him how much you miss him and that you want him (to come) backEds: you do that way to muchBevvie: what?Eds: for one example: “that you want him (to come) backEds THE () BEV PLZ STOP!Bevvie: fine…Bevvie: Just do it Eds.(Bevvie left the chat)Eddie and Richie chat:Trator Eds: Richie plz come back, I miss you so much, we all do.Late Rich: Really, but what about that Mike thing?Trator Eds: He came onto me, that was a one time thing. You really think I’d leave you for your stupid cousin?Late Rich: No, not really.Late Rich: I’m really sorry eds. I’m at the corner Dearborn and Maple, come get me.(Late Rich left the chat)
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Richie and Eddie chat:Traitor Eds: did your mom flip?Late Rich: Honestly, no.Late Rich: she thought I was just with one of you guys.Traitor Eds: honastly womanTraitor Eds: Honestly*Late Rich: ahahahahaTraitor Eds: I can't spell, this is sort of sad.Late Rich: Eddie, I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me. You brought me home, and you still kept loving me, that means a lot, more than you could ever know. I don’t deserve you Eddie spaghetti.Traitor Eds: Rich, I would do anything for you. When you were gone it felt like a piece of me was missing.Late Rich: awwwwLate Rich: Why are we so cringy?Traitor Eds: I’m leaving, bye.(Traitor Eds left the chat)Richie and Bev chat:Dipshit: Hey, I’m sorry for leaving you.Beauty: Hey dick, glad to see you finally checked in on your girl.Dipshit: I’m sorry.Beauty: Well, ya. You should be. I thought you fucking killed yourself.Beauty: Richie, that's not something that I should ever have to worry about.Dipshit: I know I’m sorry, but I would never kill myself, I would never do that to you guys.Beauty: you were about to leave us.(Beauty left the chat)Mike H. and Stanly chat:Lover Mike: Wanna come over tonight, I don't want to be alone right now.Loser Stan: Why? What's wrong? Mike you need to tell me.Lover Mike: It's so cute that you care, but it's really nothing. I just got really freaked out that I might have lost richie and never got to say goodbye.Loser Stan: I understand. I’ll be over at seven. Should I bring anything?Lover Mike: No, not really. Just your adorable face and cuteness.Loser Stan: this got really cringey really fast, i’ll see you at seven. I’m going to leave this chat with the little bit of dignity I still have left.(Loser Stan left the chat)Mike H. and Bill chat:Angel Mike: Dude, stans coming over at seven.Perfect Bill: And… doesn't that happen like every weekend?Angel Mike: Yes… but… yeah, you’re right I’m overreacting.Perfect Bill: yeah, why are you thought?Angel Mike: I don’t know. I think maybe we’ll do it tonight.Perfect Bill: that’s great Mike but why are you acting like this over it (and I did not fucking need to know that, nor want to)Angel Mike: we haven't done it before (and you asked why so I told you why.)Perfect Bill: Well I’m sure it’ll be fine. (I will leave this chat and take my ‘amazing advice’ somewhere else)Angel Mike: you sure? (THEN LEAVE)Perfect Bill: yes, just go slow at first then take it up a notch (I WILL THEN!)Angel Mike: ok, thanks for the advice. (BYE DICK!)Perfect Bill: Anytime (BYE ASSHOLE!)(perfect Bill left the chat.)
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The Losers Club chat:Trashmouth: Look guys, I’m sorry for leaving, I’m sorry for ditching you, I’m sorry for everything. I hope you can forgive me for it, I just love you guys so much.Stanny the Manny: I swear to god Richie, if you tell us you’re leaving again…Trashmouth: No I just wanted to say I’m here and I’m back for good.Eds: ThAnK YoU!Eds: Having you as my boyfriend is too much damn work.Trashmouth: you’re right, I do not deserve thee.Eds: thank you, thank you. But honestly Don't ever pull something like that ever again dick. Trashmouth: you don’t have to worry, I won't.Trashmouth: Plz just forgive me guys.Stanny the Manny: SureHaystack: of course.Gunner: Dude, you’re my best friend how could I not?Eds: Fine Asshat.Billy Boy: Dick, don't do that again. But yes, I forgive you.Trashmouth: Bev?Molly Ringwald: No fucking way Rich.Richie and Bev chat: Dipshit: Bev… IBeauty: Nope.Dipshit: Plz bev, forgive me. I can’t have you mad at me right now. I really just need to get really high and drunk with you.Beauty: sounds really fun rich.Dipshit: Bev you are my favorite out of the losers club, you always have been and I love you so much, it hurts when you’re mad at me. You’re the only one who really understands me, who I can really be myself around. Please bevvie, take me back.Beauty: you’re making it out to seem live I broke up with you. But yes richie, I’ll forgive you. Plus, i really need to just get stoned right now. Meet me under the bleachers at school.(beauty left the chat)The losers club chat:Trashmouth: SHE SAID YES!Stanny the manny: I’m so confused right now.Molly Ringwald: I said I’d forgive him and he seems to think it's some kind of wedding vow.Gunner: To him, It kind of is.Eds: BEVERLY! How dare you steal my man.Molly Ringwald: Sorry Eds, you can have him back. I had no idea what I was getting into.Molly Ringwald: With forgiving richie and being friends with you idiots.Trashmouth: Admit it thought, you love us.Molly Ringwald: Tis true. I do love my losers.
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(Back to that ancient time when Richie caught Mike making out with Eddie.)Richie and Will chat:Unknown: Dude, your fucking boyfriend just made out with mine.Will: who are you again, and what the actual fuck.Unknown: Oh, I'm Richie, that guy who's boyfriend yours just made the fuck out with!(Will changed unknown's name to Richie)Will: wait, how did you find this out?Richie: I got stuck in a very well positioned tree.Will: good job, like who started it, what happened?Richie: that dick you call a boyfriend came onto my sweet innocent Eddie Spaghetti!Will: gees, no need to be mean about it, I'll talk to him.Richie: You better! That dick face is going the fuck down.Will: I'll block you, no cursing on this christian minecraft server.(Will left the chat)Will and Mike chat:Byers boy: I know you made out with Eddie.Hot wheels: How?Byers Boy: you should be saying that your sorry and it won't happen again so I don't break up with your sorry ass... but Richie saw and told me.Hot wheels: I'm really sorry will, I don't know what I was thinkingByers Boy: I can't believe you Mike, I'm gone for one day and it's toung city, population you and Eddie.Hot wheels: Will, I don't know what to say...Byers Boy: thats the problem Mike, you never know what to fucking say!(Byers boy left the chat)Will and Eleven chat:Brother Will: Mike cheated on me, I don't know who else to talk to.Sister El: Will, I'm so sorry. I really thought mike would be the one for you, he sure was not for me, that dude is about as straight as the hairs on his headBrother Will: some of them are straight, some of them are curly.Sister El: you point is...Brother Will: Lmao, but really help me!!!Sister El: Well, do you want to stay with him and try to forget and just have this knowledge on your hands that he might love someone else, be constantly thinking about itthis or do you wanna break up with him because you can't move past this.Brother Will: Is there another option?Sister El: well, think about it... you know Eddie, he's basically you with a different face and asthma, Mike might have just missed a whole damn bunch.Brother Will: you're not good at giving advice, has anyone ever told you that?Sister El: Hey I had selective mutism for a while so I haven't done this a bunch, and actually yes someone has told me that, YOUBrother Will: Ok, I'm sorry, but do you really think I should break up with him?Sister El: If you think it's the right thing to do then... I think you know the answer.(sister El left the chat)Milleven sucks chat (Lucas, Dustin, Max, Will)Will:Mike cheated on me with that Eddie kid, what should I doooooooo!?Max: wow, jesus I'm so sorry WillLucas: I told you Man, I fucking told you that this wheeler kid would break your heart.Dustin: Lucas, you can use his name he is your friend after all and you're not some old dad in a western movie.Max: Lmao!Lucas: Would you please shut upMax: Dustin's right though, turn off dad mode.Dustin: is that what you to call it in bed? *laughing emoji*Lucas: fuck you Dustin, you little dick.Will: GUYS! this is about me here!Max: right, sorry well, do you think you can get past this?Will: yes, I love mike he just made a mistakeLucas: quick question why arnt we including El in this?Will: I talked to her already, she's not helpful. Like at all.Dustin: Honistly will, I dont think he's any good for you. he never was, break up with him.Will: you think?Dustin: tis sad but true.Will:alrightWill and Mike chat:Byers Boy: I'm breaking up with you. *---*TO BE CONTINUED UPON REQUEST*---*
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The Losers Club chat:Stanny the Manny: God I'm so happy things are back to normal now, Richie I hate you.Trashmouth: Well my good fellow, one as fine as I can spark any strong emotion from any young lad, such as yourselfStanny the Manny: you realize that was an insult you asshat.Molly Ringwald: There is no such thing to Richie.Trashmouth: Tis true my fair lady, there is no such thing that could lower my spirit or break my pride, the i word is simply non-existentStanny the Manny: Bless youTrashmouth: Kwat?Haystack: Would you losers please shut you mouths!? I am trying to sleep here!Trashmouth: Shut my mouth, I cannot.Haystack: Fuck you guys.gunner: No cursing on this christian minecraft server!Molly Ringwald: Oh gawd, You to?Gunner: yuppppppppeeeeeerrrrsssStanny the Manny: It is and honor to be your boyfriend yuppers Mike.Trashmouth: yuppers! (Trashmouth changed Gunner's name to yuppers Mike)Yuppers Mike: Thanks RichBilly Boy: What the hecc are you guys fucking talking about at 12 am?Trashmouth: YuppersStanny the Manny: YuppersYuppers Mike: YUPPERSMolly Ringwald: Fucking yuppersEds: apparently YuppersHaystack: sreppuyBilly Boy: Oh god.Trashmouth: Eds! you have finally graced us all with your presence!Eds: Not for long, I was just going to tell you guys to SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UPEds: Its 12 in the fucking morning, I hate you guys.Trashmouth: Luv ya eds!*heart Emoji*Eds: Love you too Rich, But only rich none of you moronsMolly Ringwald: What about me?Eds: Yes, you too bevTrashmouth: Beep Beep all of you, I am the only one worthy of Eddie's loveHaystack: thats our job richie you dont get to beep beep usStanny the Manny: Gee ben you really are tires, no punctuation, this just is not like you!Haystack: Omg, you all need to shut up now or else I will order the Pether Nortal on youHaystack: But goodnight, I love you all mwah!Trashmouth: GAY!Trashmouth: sorry, goodnight!Molly Ringwald: goodnight, Bill says goodnight too. *sends photo of Bill sleeping, his head resting on Bev's shoulder.*Eds: Night' allYuppers Mike: Night.
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the Losers club Chat:Molly Ringwald: Morning guys!Trashmouth: yuppers.Yuppers Mike: You guys are never going to let that go are you?Trashmouth: I shall not say sir Yuppers Mike!Eds: you guys are morons.Trashmouth: you say that now...Molly Ringwald: Can you guys just chill with the dirty jokes for a bit?Eds: you know Richie, his personality is dirty jokes.Billy Boy: Guys, once again, I am trying to sleep, please shut the Fuck up.Haystack: Big Bill's right.Trashmouth: well big bill can go fuck himselfBilly Boy: what the fuck Richard?Molly Ringwald: You guys need to chill out, especially you RichieTrashmouth: Someone's on their period.Billy boy: what the fuck dude? you don't talk to her that way, ever.Trashmouth: Fuck all of you losers.(Trashmouth removed himself from the chat.)Eds: Im going to go talk to him.Stanny the Manny: Ok, good luck Eds. just remember he probably doesn't mean that stuff, he's just hurting... or drunk.Eds: alrightEddie and Richie chat:Traitor Eds: Richie, whats going on? you were acting like a complete dick to the losers.Late Rich: what is it to you anyway?Traitor Eds: I'm your boyfriend, and your friend.Late Rich: My mom told me we're moving.Traitor Eds: That's why you started being a dick in the middle of the chat, now I get it.Late Rich: Eds, we're moving to Hawkins, to live with my cousins.Traitor Eds: What?
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Stan and Mike chat:
Lover Mike: We need to break up.
Loser Stan: I would ask why but I already know it's for a good reason.
Lover Mike: You're just making this more hard.
Loser Stan: That was the point.
Lover Mike: Stop being cute! but I can tell you want to know so i'll tell you.
Lover Stan: my Dad found out about us, I don't know how but he wasn't happy about it. he took me up for it, I love you Stan but I can't.
Loser Stan: That's fair.
(Loser Stan left the chat.)
-----2 days later------
The loser's club chat:
Trashmouth: Heyyyyyy guysyyysyyyyy guess what?!?!?
Molly Ringwald: What is it this time Richie?
Trashmouth: I'm gay!
Eds: Omg really, I had no fucking idea Richie, what a total and complete fucking suprise!
Molly Ringwald: What is it really?
Trashmouth: I have a datteeee!
Haystack: tf are you telling us this, we don't care when you and Eddie go on dates, it just makes the rest of us single pringles feel more lonely.
Billy boy: Speak for your self, bev and I are doing great!
Stanny the Manny: Are you guys serious? You like never talk and like never do any couple stuff, you're like not even friends.
(Molly Ringwald changed Billy Boy's name to Big Bill)
Molly Ringwald: We do enough couples stuff for me to know that!
Eds: T E A
Trashmouth: M E H G A T E A
Stanny the Manny: Stop, my point still stands true any you all know it
Yuppers Mike: no, stan, you stop. why are you trying to break up their relationship?
Trashmouth: Mike's right, why are you doing this Stan?
Stanny the Manny: Mike, care to tell?Yuppers Mike: no, Stan I only wanted you to know about that, that's between us. and please don't tell me this is about monday, I thought you didn't care
Stanny the Manny: Well, I did Mike! is it that hard to believe that I was sad when we broke up!
Trashmouth: HOLY SHIT! you guys broke up!?!?!
Yuppers Mike: this is exactly why I did not want them to know!! Can we just talk about something else now, like Richie's date.
Eds: Yes, Right. now who do I have to beat up for stealing my man?
Trashmouth: Now what are ya gonna do to them Eds, fight their nees?
Eds: I am warning you Trashmouth Tozier.
Trashmouth: Right, sorry. Greta Bowie, but don't worry, it's just a prank I wouldn't actually leave you Eds, ever, mwah!
Yuppers Mike: I love the fact that Eddie just automatticly assumed that Richie would be going on his date with a guy.
Eds: While, no woman could ever stan a chance against this greatness *Motions to self*
Trashmouth: While you must have never seen Greta Bowie, she is a hottie thottie!
Eds: Beep, beep asshole.
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Richie and Eddie chat:Late Rich: so you're ok with this fake date thing right?Traitor Eds: Yeah, as long as fucking troy doesn't steal my manLate Rich: he wont.Traitor Eds: awww i think thats the sweetest thing you've ever said to me uwuLate Rich: now, now Eds don't get your panties in a bunchTraitor Eds: oh my god, beep beep you assclown.Late Rich: ahhhLate Rich: look outside, the sky is beautifulTraitor Eds: when did you become so gay?Traitor Eds: Fuck! it is!Late Rich: you wanna know something else that's beautiful?Traitor Eds: I swear if you say my mom you're dead.Late Rich: LMFAOTraitor Eds: Enjoy your date ASSHOLE!(Traitor Eds left the chat)Stan and Bill chat:Uris: I feel like Mike hates me nowDenbrough: I feel like you hate him.Uris: You're supposed to have GOOD advice Bill.Denbrough: sorry.Uris: it's fine just give me some right now.Denbrough: this may take a while to type...Denbrough: apologize, to Mike, me and BevUris: why to you and Bev?Denbrough: We broke up because of you, I mean just because your relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you have to ruin other peoples.Uris: Right, shit, I'm sorry Bill I didn't mean for that to happen, I was just depressed as fuck because of what happened, I shouldn't have taken it out on you and the rest of the losersDenbrough: you're right you shouldn't have. I loved Bev and now that's gone because you felt 'depressed' she told me that she felt like we should have been doing more couples things and that that was not what I wanted that I acted more romantic with Richie, she called me gay and uncommitted to her and our relationship. You don't know how it feels to be called and uncommitted gay shit by the woman you love, cause Stan it doesn't feel too good.(Denbrough left the chat)
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Stan and Richie chat:Result of incest: Hey, I need help i feel like im loosing all my friends and I have no fucking clue on how to stop it.Result of incest: WHEN DID YOU CHANGE THESE NAMES YOU ASSHOLE!!Hawt rich: yesterday ;)Result of incest: HAWT RICH, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!Result of incest: anyway... thats not the point, i need help. you're the only one who doest hate me.Hawt rich: you sure? *laughing emoji*Result of incest: Richie! I need help and if you cant do that I'll just ask ben.Hawt rich: no, since i am the master of advice, I shall help thee poor stanny upon his quest to regain his lost companyards!Result of incest: Companyards is not a word richie.Hawt rich: It's not? Result of incest: it's not, look it up!Hawt rich: oh, anyyyyyywayyyyy let the wise man speak young foolish stanny.Result of incest: fine, but make it quick you waste a lot of my time, you know that?Hawt rich: LET ME SPEAK!Hawt rich: i got nothing.Result of incest: are you kidding right now?Hawt rich: nope!(Result of incest left the chat)
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The losers club chat: Stanny the Manny: Look, guys i'm sorry for how I acted and the friendships (and other ships) i ruined because of how I was feeling. It wasn't right of me to take it out of you guys and I know I can't undo it but I hope you guys will forgive me.Molly Ringwald: Stan just because you were unhappy didn't give you the right to ruin our happiness.(Stanny the Manny changed his name to sorry stan)Sorry Stan: I know and I feel awful that I did, I just was not thinking straight and I also know that no excuse I can ever make will ever make this right.Trashmouth: Stan that wasn't right of you but we've all done something like this in the many years we've been friends and he's forgiven us in the past so we all owe it to him, especially me.Big Bill: To be fair Richie, he didn't destroy your relationship with someone you loved so much it hurt, and still hurts.Sorry Stan: guys do I need to hear this, just have a separate chat.Yuppers Mike: Actually Stan, yes you do. you need to hear what you did to their relationship and our friendship, it's not going to be the same because of you.Haystack: I think some of you are over reacting he just got upset over a chat, whats the big deal?Big Bill: I dunno Ben, think about it. BEV AND I BROKE UP BECAUSE OF HIM! I loved her.Sorry Stan: Guys I'm really sorry.Big Bill: well stan, sorry just won't cut it this time.Bev and Bill chat:Baby bev: Wait, you really loved me?Bill Babe: Yes, I did and still do.Baby Bev: I just thought that you... i dunno, I just didn't think you loved me.Bill Babe: I had loved you from that first day I saw you down in the barrens.Baby Bev: Bill, I didn't know... I'm so sorry and this will only make this news hurt more...Bill Babe: you and ben are dating arn't you.Baby Bev: Yes, we are.(Bill Babe blocked Baby Bev)Bev and Richie chat:Mother Bev: Bill blocked me, he's really mad about me and Ben.Father Rich: Well no offence, but you are a fucking idiot. bev it's been 2 days I don't blame him. he fought so hard to get you instead of ben getting you and then in the end ben still got you, that must not feel to good.Mother Bev: I feel terrible and I don't know what to do to fix it.Father Rich: You shouldn't be trying to fix this so you can stop feeling terrible you should fix this so Bill stops feeling terrible.Mother Bev: BUTHOWFather Rich: I don't know, thats on you sweetie, you're on your own in this world lassie!Mother Bev: Richie, stop.(Mother Bev left the chat)
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Bev and Richie chat: Mother Bev: Im going over to Bill's house nowFather Rich: What the hell are you going to sayMother Bev: I don't know, but I know im gonna ask him to have a cig with me.Father Rich: Terrible plan bev. probably your worst one yet.Mother Bev: why?Father Rich: Bill doesn't smoke you dipshit.Mother Bev: For me he will, did you hear what he said on the group chat?Father Rich: No, Bev, I saw it. YOU CAN'T HEAR TEXTSMother Bev: Geez, sorry rich.Father Rich: No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.Mother Bev: well, it is true, you can't hear text messages.Father Rich: Thanks bev.Mother Bev: For what?Father Rich: Being awesome <3Mother bev: No problem Rich.(Mother Bev left the chat)Bill and Eddie chat:Denbrough: Fuck, bev is outsideKaspbrak: what does she want?Denbrough: I don't know but shes been texting someone for the last five minutes.Kaspbrak: you've been watching her for the last five minutes?Denbrough: no... fine, yesDenbrough: Shit! she's knocking at the door, bye!(Denbrough left the chat)
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Richie and Bev chat:Father Rich: Howd it go?Mother Bev: We both ended up crying and almost setting his house on fire with our cigarettes, we both said that we still loved each other and always have and now he's asleep in my lap. Ben can go suck some toes, Bill is great and he was just taking it slow because he didn't want to loose me.Father Rich: Bev, I'm crying. I'm so happy for you guys.Mother Bev: thanks Rich, but how the hell am I going to tell ben that I'm back with billFather Rich: and that he can go suck some toesMother Bev: ahahahah, but seriouslyMother Bev: Shit he's waking up. I'll talk to you later!(Mother Bev left the chat)Stan and Richie chat:Result of Incest: I know you talked to bev, how is she?Hawt Rich:She's better now, her and bill are back together. no thanks to you.Result of incest: Why are you acting like this?Hawt rich: Because Stan, Bev and Bill are my best friends out of all you idiots and you hurt them.(Hawt rich left the chat)Bill and Richie chat:Billiam: I know what you did for Bev and I and I just wanted to say thanks.Dickhard: It's alright bill, I just hate to see you and Bev upset, it makes me... serious for some crazy reason.Billiam: that's a first Dickhard: I am a man of many talents you billiam watch and you may learn some of my secrets.Billiam: Oh my god richie! you are so generous! how could I ever turn down such an amazing offer!Dickhard:HAhaHahHAhahhah(Billiam left the chat)The Losers Club chat:Trashmouth: YUPPERSSSSSSSSSSSSSMolly Ringwald: Is there a reason for that?Trashmouth: NOOOOOPPPPPEEEEBig Bill: god if someone ever read our texts they'de be so confused.Trashmouth: someone is.Yuppers Mike: HELLLLLOOOOOO SPPPPPYYYYY PERSOOOOOONNNNNN(Molly Ringwald changed their name to Spy Person)Spy Person: hello young fellow Yuppers Mike(Spy Person changed their name to Molly Ringwald)Molly Rinwald: Who was THAT!?!! We shal never know.Trashmouth: Luv ya bev, BUT HOW D A R E YOU, I WaS GoInG To Do ThAtMolly Ringwald: ahaahahah sry RIch, two can play at this game.
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Eddie and Mike chat:
Lil Lamb: Mike, I have a problem
Mikey: What is it Eds?
Lil Lamb: Don't call me Eds mike, you know I hate it.
Mikey: Sorry, but what is it?
Lil Lamb: I think I have a crush on Bill.
Mikey: But you're with Richie
Lil Lamb: I KNOW THATS THE PROBLEM
Lil Lamb: aside from the fast that Bill is taken... again.
Mikey: How serious is this crush?
Lil Lamb: i got it pretty bad mike, you know if im telling you (or anyone) this it must be pretty serious. I don't like to talk about my feelings at all.
Mikey: Mehga oof maayteeeee. Bill is going to be really hard to get and Richie loves you and this will break his heart loosing you. so if you still love richie like at all I'd say try to ignore this crush and focus on what you have.
Lil Lamb: I still love richie, like alot more than Bill, wayyyy more
Mikey: Alright then, you know what you have to do.
(Mikey left the chat)The Losers Club chat:
Trashmouth: Guys I'm sad and bored can we talk about something stupid?
Molly Ringwald: Sure, lets just talk about you.
Trashmouth: ahahah very funny bev but seriously
Molly Ringwald: Okay.. who is your favorite ship in the losers club(not canon.)
Trashmouth: Darn it bev! Dear Spaghetti head and I are clearly endgame and still happen to be in the losers club, you make my life so hard
Sad Stan: It's extremely weird (and probably jinxed) that you ship you and your boyfriend.
Molly Ringwald: Well, Mine is easy so I'll go first: Mike and Stan, you guys are not canon anymore so its fair
Haystack: Well for me it's Eddie and Bill.
Trashmouth: How dare you steal my man Bill! But I ship it as a friendship not a romanticship
Trashmouth:...shit.
Molly Ringwald: ahahahah beep, beep you wetend
Yuppers Mike: Yeah I agree with Richie though, as friends. Right Eddie?
Eds: yeah.
Molly Ringwald: what was that about?
Haystack: T E A
Big Bill: Yeah, I'm confused. Whats going on?Richie and Eddie chat:
Late Rich: Yeah Eddie, what was that about? we need to talk.