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Scout always hated standing still.Not moving, not able to tap his foot or drum his fingers on a table or bounce his leg or do anything. Because it was at those moments where Scout really began to think, began to reflect on himself. And thinking led to self doubt and self doubt let to anxiety which always ended in Scout giving himself a panic attack, which by the way, suck. Thats why Scout was always moving, always talking. Always doing something to distract himself. To try and push all those thoughts and insecurities into the back of his mind. But he couldn't always be moving, and that's when those thoughts came back.Insecurities, doubts, past memories that he's struggled to forgotten always came flooding back at once. And the longer Scout stayed still, the deeper he thought about things. The worse everything got.Normally this all happened when he was alone, most commonly when he was trying to sleep. He'd spent a multitude of nights laying awake struggling to sleep. He'd normally deal with his attacks in the solitude of his room, except for the one time Heavy found him baby a mental breakdown in the kitchen. He remembered he had gone to get a drink and one thing led to another and he found himself with his head in his hands struggling to calm his breathing. And then Heavy had been there, putting his massive hand on his shoulder and speaking to him in a calming voice. He didn't ask questions he simply sat with Scout until he called down. And afterwards made them tea. Turns out Heavy was used to these types of things, his sisters had often woken up in the middle of the night screaming and crying and Heavy had always been there to comfort. AndHe also learned that Heavy have really good head hugs, maybe even better the Engies or Pyros. Heavy never told anyone else about finding him in such a vulnerable state and for that Scout was pretty grateful.He always hid this side of him fairly well, behind his cocky, loud mouth, arrogant attitude he was able to keep his more vulnerable side hidden. He hated showing weakness in front of people, he hated being vulnerable especially in front of people he respected and looked up too. From his last experiences, exposing the more vulnerable side of yourself to people always led to being made fun of. Just ask his brothers. Though sometimes, things don't work out that way. Sometimes that side of you is harder to keep hidden twenty-four seven then he thought. He and Sniper had been sitting together on the couch watching whatever program was available on the small tv when next thing Scout knew he was having trouble taking in air. He knew sometimes these things happened without reason, but normally that happened when he was alone. "Scout?" Snipers voice sounded next to him, sounding concerned. But Scout couldn't hear him, he was so caught up in trying to get himself not calm down. God he hated this, he really fuckin hated this. He hated how much his chest tightened, how not he felt and how hard it became to breath. It always made his stomach hurt, like he had to throw up. His head hurt and felt swollen with the amount of thoughts that seemed to cram their way into his brain. He needed a distraction any sort of distraction anything. God he hated this, he hated this he hated-"Dammit Scout what is wrong with you!? Breath!"Suddenly he was aware of someone shaking his shoulders frantically,he opened his eyes which he hadn't never realized he had closed to find Sniper crouched down in front of him. Worry and confusion etched into his features as he tightly gripped Scouts shoulder. He seemed relieved when Scout opened his eyes. "There ya are roo, I was gettin worried. You were shakin and ya stopped breathin there for a second, I was about to call Medi-OOF!" Scout didn't know what made him do it, maybe I was his desperate need for comfort. But he launched himself at Sniper and buried his face in his shoulder gripping him tightly to make sure that he was really there. Sniper froze in surprise and Scout was scared he would push him away but the Sniper wrapped his own long arms around Scouts smaller body, holding him tightly to his chest and resting his chin a top his head. "Easy roo, its...its alright"Sniper was a bit rusty and awkward with his comforting skills, it had been awhile since he'd had to comfort anybody. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try his best for the kid.Eventually Scout felt his breathing slow and his mind fully clear as he pulled away slightly embarrassed. "Uh Sorry Snipes" Sniper frowned "What are you sorry for roo? You didn't do both in wrong" Scout shrugged "Just uh, sorry for freakin out 'n gettin all up in your personal space" Sniper have him a smile "Don't be roo, it ain't healthy to keep that kind a stuff to yer self like that. Nearly started panickin myself" Scout rubber the back of his neck, still embarrassed that he had freaked out over nothin in front of Sniper. "Uh yeah....thanks Snipes"Sniper smiled at him and ruffled his hair, turning back to the tv. Putting his arm around Scouts shoulder and pulling him closer to his side as he did so.Scout tensed and then relaxed against his side, much more content then he'd been in awhile. ******************Scout took a shaky breath as he stood in front is Spy door. This wasn't weird right? They were related weren't they? And after the dough might Scout had had so far he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep anytime soon by himself. He could have gone to Snipes or Heavy or someone else...But he didn't want to bother anyone and Spy WAS his dad...He let out a shaky breath, he was considering turning away when the door suddenly swing open startling Scout. Spy stood in front of him mask off and eyebrows raised. "Can I help you?"Scouts face flushed as he squirmed under Spys gaze "Its uh..it's nothin, I'll just...go"Scout turned to leave only to have Spy grab his arm. "Jeremy" He didn't sound pissed so Scout took that as a good sigh. He turned around to face him. "I...I couldn't sleep and I was uh, wonderin if a could stay wit ya for da night. I can sleep on da floor" Spy sighed softly and Scout was prepared for him to slam the door in his face by instead he opened the door wider and stepped aside gesturing for Scout to go in. Scouts shoulders slumped in relief as he quickly hurried inside before Spy changed his mind. The inside of Spys room was how he expected it to be, neat and tidy. He was about to settle down on the floor when Spy put a hand on his shoulder. "Come mon fills, you can sleep in ze bed with me"Scout grinned and crawled into the bed Spy following laying down on the opposite side, the two faced each other and Scout couldn't help but feel relaxed. He startled slightly when a hand rested on the side of his face. "You 'ave your mother's cheekbones no? And her nose." He gently flicked Scouts nose with his for finger causing Scout scrunch his nose up slightly. Spy chuckled."Tu es comme un petit lapin, no?"Scout narrowed his eyes slightly "I have no idea what you just said, but I don't like it"Spy laughed "When you were a bebe you used to laugh whenever I spoke french to you"Scout giggled "Must'a realized how stupid ya sounded"Spy rose a brow "Watch yourself Mon fills or you might just find yourself in ze floor" Scout snickered and then he yawned, he snuggled further down in the covers curling up into a ball. "Night pops" he muttered sleepily. Spy chuckled softly and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Bonsoir mon fils"*********************** "Aw shit Doc I'm sorry! " "It iz fine Junge" "No but seriously Doc I didn't mean ta-" "Scout it iz fine! Calm down"Medic nursed his bleeding nose from where Scout had just punched him, he hadn't mean to honest but Medic had came towards him with a needle and Scout had freaked out. Accidentally nailing Medic in the process.He bit his lip as he watched Medic wipe his nose with a handkerchief, cleaning away what was left of the blood."As geez I really am sorry doc " He spoke softly.Medic gave him a soft smile. "It iz alright Junge, it vas an accident. It iz my vault veally, I should have warned you virst before I came at you wit ze syringe. I know how much you hate needles" Scout still felt bad and it must have shown on his face because Medic patted his head. "Zo not feel bad, it iz not ze first time I have been hit during a check up. Herr Soldier haz hit me quite a few timez, on accident or course!" Scout smiled and Medic patted his arm. "Good! Now..." He held up the syringe. "Let's try this again ja?" **********************Scout sat sprawled out laying across the couch half heartily watching tv, tapping his fingers on his stomach. Sniper walked in, nodding at Scout. "Ay there roo" He approached the couch and Scout was about to sit up to give him room when instead Sniper simply walked over and lifted his legs. He sat down and placed Scouts legs back into his lap. "Watcha watchin Mate? Anythin good?" Scout yawned and shrugged "Eh not really, mainly just borin stuff or those weird soap opera's that Medic likes ta watch. "Sniper hummed and looked ready to say something else when Engineer walked in. "Hey there y'all"Sniper smiled at him "Ay there Engie, you and firebug back from town already? " Engineer placed his hands on his hips "Yep, and while we were there Pyro found himself some cartoon movie tha he was insisted we buy so we can all watch it together to prepare yourself for tha"Sniper chuckled "Oh yeah? And where's the firebug now? " Engineer laughed "Probably off draggin the rest of the team back here, and you know how convincing the little bugger is so I guess you can say we'll be havin ourselves a movie night boys"And true to his word Pyro soon entered the room followed by the rest of the team who looked less the thrilled by the aspect of having to watch some kids movie. But no one was going to deny Pyro of his movie night, so they all kept their complaints to.themselves. Spy approached where Scout and Sniper sat and gently flicked Scouts forehead. "Lift up your head Mon fills" Scout did as he was told and Spy sat down, Scout placing his head back on Spys lap and Engineer started the movie.The movie was what he expected, some colourful little kids movie about animals or something it was cute and Pyro seemed to love it so it was alright. Scout, along side a few other mercs, ended up falling asleep halfway through it though. And later Scout would wake up to find himself covered up and practically in Spys lap(As well as a embarrassing picture of him sucking his thumb that he would later have to chase a certain Austrian around for) but right now he didn't care.This was all the distraction he would ever need.
