Work Text
Tyler cries.He tears his thin fingers with short hair on his head and frantically tries to find the pulse of Josh's lifeless body. He removes the rope from his neck and gently runs his hand over the already blue mark from the rope.Tyler screams.He screams with hopelessness and the pain that pierces his body at this moment. He does not call the police, he does not want Dun to be taken from him. He kisses his fingers, cheekbones, neck, lips, leaving wet marks on his tears.But Dun is dead.Tyler cannot and does not want to realize this, his mind simply cannot find such a function as acceptance. Neighbors come to his hysterics. They call the police right away, pulling Joseph away from Josh.Tyler doesn't come to the funeral.He comes to the grave of Josh a week later, when he realizes that it needs to be done.At the fresh grave, he whispers only a short “Sorry,” feeling the tears covering his eyes again like veil. Joseph wants to say something more to ask for forgiveness, but he cannot. He falls to his knees, covering his face with his hands and cries. Tyler realizes he deserves it.It takes a few more days. Josh's suicide note somehow hit the Internet. Everyone is asking for an explanation from Tyler. He is silent and does not go out.Joseph closes his home and cries constantly, frantically asking for forgiveness from a friend.They give him Josh's laptop. Tyler holds on. He comes to the studio and finishes the album. He does it with tears in his eyes. He does it through pain. This is the last thing Tyler can give to Josh.Tyler's parents are trying to find out his condition. He says that everything is good and he is holding on.Fans are experiencing. They are trying to find out at least some information, but Tyler remains silent.Spring is coming. It's March. Tyler believes that the group should continue to live. He is trying to find a new drummer, but it's not that. No one can be like Josh. He breaks down. He is crying. No one can replace Dun.Tyler after a long time again opens Josh's laptop. He looks at photos, documents, listens to his music. He opens the document. It's a poetry. Dun's poems. Tyler reads them carefully, trying to absorb each line. No, he is not crying. He smiles.May. Joseph releases the album. Everyone likes. All mourn and cry. Tyler cries.He descends after a long time to his basement, where Josh's installation stands. In the pouch there are still sticks that Dun then threw. Everything is dusty. Tyler gently takes them in hand. It seems to him that they still smell like Josh.Tyler gives a farewell concert. June 18 is Josh's birthday. Joseph is too obsessed with him; everybody sees it. Sitting in the dressing room, he turns his phone in his hands and remembers the first time he kissed Dun. He holds back tears. This is the last thing he was able to make Josh happy. Tyler remembers the taste of his soft lips and how gently his hands were on Joseph’s neck. He realizes that he did not even come to Josh today.Tyler decides to write a message.June 18, 2015 19:47“Happy Birthday, Jish. Today you could be a year older. We would, as always, celebrate this holiday in your home, and then walk at night, drinking tea from one thermos. I remember how you looked at me a year ago, when we sat on the grass and talked about the stars. You knew too much about them and spoke without ceasing, and I just smiled and listened carefully to you. You smiled so that I was ready to live for that smile. And then I took you by the hand, very carefully, and in a moment you stopped talking and slowly looked at me. Then he looked at our hands and I firmly squeezed your hand, and you smiled again. Right now I understand that I saw real feelings in your eyes and you really loved me. No one looked at me like that. We lay down on the ground and you told me to lay your head on your shoulder or chest, for the ground was cold, because before that it was raining. Then I wanted to abuse you, because you could get sick, and then your hand squeezed mine a little harder and I did everything as you said. I remember how then your heart pounded wildly, but you spoke so calmly at that moment. Oh God, Josh, forgive me, come back, I miss you!"Tyler's tears drip onto the screen of the phone and he sends a message and blinks tears. Brad says it's time to get out. There is only one piano on stage and Tyler sings all the songs that Dun loved so much and performs something from the new album.He ends the concert in the middle because he can't. After saying thank you to everyone, Joseph leaves the stage. He is not crying, it's just hard. Tyler immediately rushes to the cemetery, sits on the grass next to the tombstone and tells Josh about the album, his life, and just about what is happening. Tyler thinks it helps him.“I'm still a flower boy,” Joseph lifts the corners of his lips slightly and smiles imperceptibly. “You always said that the flowers are beautiful and you find something special in them, I remember,” He laughs softly and bites his lip. “I miss you, Josh.”Tyler notifies that the group doesn't exist anymore. He gives a couple of interviews and never answers the questions about Josh. Joseph does it purely out of respect. In principle, his whole life goes on as usual and everything is fine. He began to get rid of thoughts about Dun, but never forgot about him, sometimes he even wrote messages to his number.December 17, 2015 15:54“Hi, Jishwa. Imagine, we were noticed. Our album is in the first places in all charts, we were nominated for the Grammy, I hope that everything will work out and we will become the best. Although our group is no longer there, but we are remembered. I still miss. "December 23, 2015 03:25“Good morning, Josh. I can not believe that you have not been with me for so long. I have so often apologized to you that I am ashamed to write sms. But it seems to me that you read my messages and do not answer because of employment. I know you will call me back and tell me how much you missed, because we have not seen each other for 7 hours. I miss you."December 25, 2015 6:47“A year has passed. I even write to you at this time, because you still may have been alive. In 20 minutes I will find you dead and never be the same. Forgive me for not telling you the truth, forgive me for scoffing. Today there will be a lot of people at your grave who were close to you, but I came before everyone else. I sit here and write you a message, I do not believe that all this happened. Thanks for everything and ... Forgive me, Josh. I lied when I said that I did not dedicate anything to you. That song, 'We Don’t Believe What’s On Tv', is about you. I'm sorry. I want you to hug me again, as then, but I would never get out of your arms. I miss you, Jishwa. ”Tyler looks at the sky. It is yellow from the morning sun and he smiles. Joseph gently gets up from the cool grass and slowly moves toward his home. Everything is getting better, Tyler is calm. He no longer cries at night, but remembers everything with a smile and thinks: "Thank God that I managed to meet a guy like Josh!"Tyler sits near the window and plays the ukulele, inventing new lyrics, recording new songs. He will not return in music industry, but it has become his hobby.Suddenly there is a knock at the door. Tyler comes down and opens, although he has no idea who is standing on the threshold now. He does not care, because even if someone wanted to kill him, he would not mind to die, he has nothing to lose.Tyler raises his head, rubbing his eyes.“Hello,” the uninvited guest says and smiles with a sweet smile. “I missed you, flower boy."Tyler smiles back.