Work Text
[Letter from Mr. Day Penmarrick, Esquire]
Dear Uncle Lowen,
Thanks for your letter; it was good to help out your two friends even if they did leave the cottage smelling as if they had had sex in every single corner of it – even the damn cupboard under the stairs; at least one of them must be hellishly flexible! Seriously, I had to open all the windows and sit in the garden while the place aired.
Your friends are an oddly-matched pair physically though I can see that they are definitely 'together together' as the old saying goes. Doctor Watson is superficially the more attractive but I did not have any trouble in leering at Mr. Holmes who definitely has something despite looking like someone who just came in out of a tornado. The look on the doctor's face that last day – I am glad that there is once more over two hundred miles between us otherwise his friend could well have been investigating my murder. I bet their journey back to London was fun!
It was good to see you up there recently and very kind of Mr. Holmes to pay for my trip there, although from the look on the doctor's face I suspect he was soon paying for it in another way! I do not know what you see in London really, but it is good that you and Blaze are both happy (he nearly managed a whole sentence!) and to meet my 'new' nephew Tantalus. I was still relieved to get back to Cornwall though and thanks to the generosity of Mr. Holmes I have been able to afford a ring for Millie, who I intend to propose to on her birthday in two weeks' time. Even though I caught her simpering at Mr. Holmes that last day that he was here.
Yours
Day.
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[Letter from Mr. Jacob Astley, Esquire. per procuratoriem The Earl of Rosebery.]
Dear Mr. Holmes,
His Grace thanks you most kindly for your recent letter informing him of the minor administrative error inadvertently committed by the University of London of which he is chancellor, in which they most regrettably misplaced the application of your friend Mr. Llewelyn Peters. The university authorities have assured us that the fact that this young gentleman is the son of a miner was in no way, shape or form a factor in this error, that lessons have been learned†, and that measures have been put in place to ensure that this sort of thing does not reoccur‡. The University will be delighted to welcome Mr. Peters onto its recently-established teacher training course starting next September.
It was unfortunate that the Head of Admissions has since had to resign, but if he will go in for that sort of thing with questionable ladies, then one supposes that the newspapers were bound to find out sooner rather than later. As did his wife, although I understand that he is expected to be out of hospital within a fortnight.
We look forward to Mr. Peters' arrival as well as to welcoming his father whom, we are led to understand, writes something called a 'letters page'. How interesting.
Yours faithfully
Jacob Astley (Mr.)
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[Letter from Mr. Jubal Smith, Esquire]
Dear Mr. Holmes,
This is the formal notification you asked for to state that I am fully prepared to let your men start work on the cottage in May and that I have completed the relevant legal paperwork which is enclosed. My current tenants will move out at the end of April and your workmen should then have the best part of five months to make the changes that we agreed to in your last letter. I have signed off on the change of name too.
I hope that you and Doctor Watson are both well.
Yours faithfully
Mr. J. P. R. Smith, Esquire.
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